Another A+ certification post. I got core 2 passed and i just want to share my excitement and say thank you to the community. You all continue to be a big help! As well as special thanks to Messer, Ramdayal, and Dion.
STUDY: I studied for 4 weeks for core 1 and 3 weeks for core 2. The core 2 material was much easier to grasp and easy to see/do. The core 1 material felt very broad, tedious, and a lot of memorization. As well as the fact that core 1 was my first CompTIA exam, so i didn't know how to properly study or what to expect. I used only Messer's videos and Dion's tests for core 1. Ramdayal/Messer videos and Dion's tests fore core 2. As well as the exam cram A+ CompTIA practice questions book, and the CompTIA A+ official study guide(which i used mostly on topics i needed more information on).
EXAM: I felt neither exam covered the topics i thought they would try and ask me or trick me on. I had a "cheat/cram" sheet for the day of the exam to review "key notes" and both exams i had only a couple questions on any of those topics. Obviously its good to know every single objective CompTIA gives you. itd be foolish not to, However your time is better spent on Practice test. This is the best way to gauge your deep and conceptual knowledge of the topics and how they relate or don't relate. Heed my warning: DO PRACTICE TESTS. I did both exams in person, they first was smooth for core 1. My core 2 exam however was extremely laggy, and every other question would take 1-3 minutes to load. This meant i sat for my second exam for a little over 2 hours. But i learned from the first exam to stop drinking water a couple hours prior ; ) Both exams i felt stressed that they were asking questions i didn't even know how to study for but the core 2 was for sure more manageable. i used every single minute of the core 1 exam and didnt even review every question. Core 2 i finished with 8 minutes left and had plenty of time to review every question i flagged. I'm flag happy, anything I'm not 100% about gets a flag. This makes me uncertain during the test, but when i hit submit i feel confident i reviewed and answered everything as best i could. I passed both tests first try with a 697 on core 1 and a 739 on core 2. i would say for people with 0 knowledge going in like me the MesseDion combo will be just enough to get by, but i recommend finding all the trusted material you can and getting any hands on experience you can. I didn't trust the material i found on PBQ's online so i just accepted i would rely on my knowledge and focus on everything else. i did the hybrid method. Out of 5 PBQ's i did the two "easy" ones and then came back and spent time on the other 3 at the end. But made sure i felt good about my multiple choice questions more than anything. It seemed there was a lot of reports of people never even doing the PBQ's and still passing, so i figured it was better to focus on my other answers. I would also recommend picking a date and sticking to it.
OTHER: I used GetCertified4Less for core 1 and SuperVoucher for core 2. I had no prior knowledge going in outsider of basic home troubleshooting skills, but the core 2 knowledge is easy to digest if you have access to a windows machine. Hours of study varied from but I averaged around 3-4 hours per day. To any one reading this, the key to passing first try is the exam objectives, know them, study them, be them. be confident, be consistent. YOU GOT THIS!

use Illuminate\Foundation\Auth\VerifiesEmails; use Illuminate\Auth\Events\Verified; use App\User; class VerificationController extends Controller { use VerifiesEmails; public function __construct() { $this->middleware('auth'); $this->middleware('signed')->only('verify'); $this->middleware('throttle:6,1')->only('verify', 'resend'); } } 

User::find($userId)->sendEmailVerificationNotification(); public function sendEmailVerificationNotification() { $this->notify(new \App\Notifications\VerifyEmail); } 

After putting in the effort and dedication required to complete your International English Language Testing System (IELTS) exam, the anticipation of receiving your results can be both nerve-wracking and exciting. In this detailed blog post, we'll explore the best places to check your IELTS results, the typical timeframe for result availability, and the steps to access your results. Additionally, we'll highlight the resources offered by GCI Language to support your IELTS journey.

When Are IELTS Results Typically Available?

The availability of IELTS results depends on whether you've taken the paper-based or computer-delivered test:
· Paper-based Test: Results for the paper-based IELTS test are typically available within 13 calendar days after the test date.
· Computer-delivered Test: Results for the computer-delivered IELTS test are usually available within 5 to 7 days after the test date.

How to Check Your IELTS Results

· Visit the Official IELTS Website: The best place to check your IELTS results is the official IELTS website https://ielts.org/. Look for the "Check Results" or "Results" section on the website's homepage.
· Provide Necessary Information: To access your results, you'll need to provide the required information, including your test date, passport or identification number, and candidate number.
· View Your Results: Once you've entered the necessary details, you'll be able to view your IELTS results online. Results are usually available in the form of a score report, indicating your scores for each section of the exam – Listening, Reading, Writing, and Speaking – as well as your overall band score.
· Download or Print: You may have the option to download or print a copy of your results for your records. It's advisable to keep a copy for future reference.

Best Places to Check IELTS Results

While the official IELTS website is the primary platform for accessing your results, there are also other reputable websites that provide access to IELTS results. British Council’s https://www.britishcouncil.org/ and IDP Education’s https://www.idp.com/ are trusted providers of IELTS preparation materials and resources. GCI Language offers comprehensive support to candidates preparing for the IELTS exam, including access to mock tests, study guides, and expert guidance.

GCI Language for IELTS Preparation

GCI Language understands the importance of obtaining your IELTS results and offers valuable resources to help you prepare effectively for the exam. Their IELTS preparation materials are designed to enhance your skills and maximize your chances of success. With GCI Language, you'll have access to comprehensive study guides covering all sections of the IELTS exam, complete with tips, strategies, and practice exercises, experienced instructors who offer personalized feedback and guidance to address your specific needs and challenges, and practice tests that will provide valuable practice.
Checking your IELTS results is a crucial step in your journey towards academic or immigration goals. By following the steps outlined in this guide and leveraging the resources provided by GCI Language, you can access your results with confidence and take the next steps towards your aspirations.
Join our vibrant community of language enthusiasts and let's embark on a transformative journey together.
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Source: Where to Find and Check Your IELTS Results: A Complete Guide

Dear readers,
Hope you all are doing well.
I have been following this subreddit for a long time and I am going to be as candid as possible and literally lay me entire life in front of yall as I really need some advice on what the hell am I doing wrong and what do I need to do to improve. I apologize as this post is going to be slightly lengthy and kinda 'gregmat-heavy'? (love you gregmat) so please bear with me.
This post's flairs would be: Specific question and Advice so please skip this if you are not interested.
SOME CONTEXT:
I am a final year (senior) in CS (international). I want to pursue MSCS in the USA in Fall 2025.
I just took the official GRE test for the second time, about 5 hours back. My first time was in August 2023, in which I scored 314/340 (160Q, 154V). I took the august GRE attempt with quite a light hearted tone. As in, I only practised quant magoosh and practised as much verbal as I could (which was not alot at all), I did not really focus on weak topics, did not do gregmat, did not practice verbal or vocab at all, all my verbal practice was from taking custom tests on magoosh - would you call this practice? I do not know. I was horrible at verbal and was scoring in the low 150s in magoosh custom tests. I quant, i was just banking on whatever math knowledge I had and just practised sums that was it.
I was very sad with that score because MSCS is super competitive and I was aiming for atleast 320+ (with 165+Q - this was EXTREMELY IMPORTANT TO ME) so I decided to take the test again but due to study pressure, finals, GPA, research and of course, laziness etc I had to postpone by around 7-8 months, to today.
I started my prep for the 2nd attempt in a very scattered manner. I bought gregmat+ (but not prepwsift) as my magoosh subscription had expired in december of 2023. I based my entire prep on gregmat as I found it super super helpful and easy to understand and the way he explained it all was fantastic. I watched all the verbal videos(TC, SE, RC) in the 1 month plan but did not focus much on quant - I did all this in and around december 2023. BUT I did not PRACTICE verbal much. I know the 1 month plan specified to practice from the big book but I did not do it diligently, I just watched the videos. I might have practiced about 30% of the big book. Almost no RCs)
Then I stopped my prep after a month or so due to college study, research etc etc.
I restarted my prep in the middle of April 2024, around 15-17 days back.
Since, I am from a STEM background, so I kinda knew most of the quant stuff except some topics that i was weak at (BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY GRE CAREER WAS TO THINK LIKE THIS, although I do know most of these concepts, the time constraint really is my kryptonite imo, but I need yall to confirm or deny it. I did not score what i needed so I am in no place to say what works)
I did as much vocab as possible - around 1-30 groups of the vocab mountain, thouroughly, something I had not done for my previous GRE attempt - This time, I also bought prepswift considering I did not have much time. I did NOT go through ALL the quant prepswift videos - only the topics I am weak at - I did NOT even go through 1 verbal prepswift video considering I had watched the entire 1 month plan for verbal.
During these 15-17 days, I practised quant by focusing on my weak topics such as std deviation, probability, PnC and stats, I also completed around 40-50% of the Manhattan 5lb book. I gave many gregmat mini exams but was scoring around 50-70% in all. I practiced the hard sums as well. I wrote all the important concepts in a small notebook for future revision. I always practiced with a timer as well.
For verbal, I once again did NOT practice the big book or any ETS material. I just did vocab and referred to the notes I made when I had gone through the 1 month plan. My only practice for verbal was while I was taking the gregmat mini tests and test series.
TEST SERIES:
Regarding test series, I purchased the Manhattan test series of 6 tests.
I received on average 158V, 162Q in all 6. I attribute this to an eggregious amount of silly mistakes in quant, panicking in quant, not being able to complete all questions in quant and finally, not understanding RCs well enough in the time constraint.
I finally gave Powerprep 2 yesterday, the day before my exam, and recieved 166Q, 157V. I was delighted. This was the goal and I hit it but I did think it was quite easier than Manhattan.
MY MINDSET:
I know it is very cringe to write this garrulous post, but please bear with me.
One thing about me is that I really panic alot during the exam day. Taking these tests at home in a familiar environement is super comfortable unlike on the test day. I DO NOT know how I can improve this. Also, another very important thing, I do HORRIBLY with time. The clock on the screen instills an unbelievable fear in me, and that makes me want to do things quickly and solve fast which leads to an excessive amounts of silly mistakes like calculation errors and most importantly, RE-READING the question again and again because it did not register the first time in my mind as my mind is wavered and distracted due to the time constraint.
TODAY:
So it has now been around 5 hours since my 2nd attempt GRE test.
I scored a meagre 315/340. (161Q, 154V) and I am absolutely devastated. I do not know how to improve now and hence I am writing this post on reddit to this wonderful community. I beseech you to give me some advice on what I can focus on now to improve my score. I might give it for the 3rd time in 2 months as 315 is most definitely NOT enough for me to get a seat in my program of choice, at my university of choice.
I attribute this score a bit to my mindset - I panic alot, the time factor really messes with my brain. I also tried meditating a bit but to no avail.
So guys, What is my problem? What was my mistake? What did I do wrong? How do I improve? I know my answer lies in this post and I also know the solution to some extent but I would love to know from the hive of the GRE community - especially from gregmat.
Please help a dude out.
Thank you and sorry for the never-ending post.
​

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Welcome back to this write-up about a complicated artist's complicated book.
Don't be absurd, of course you have time!
Part 1 Part 2
Now that we've established what the book is about, let's take a look at The Asylum for Wayward Victorian Girls' rich publication and re-publication history. I promise, it's more scandalous than it sounds.

“HER SPEECH IS NOTHING, YET THE UNSHAPÈD USE OF IT DOTH MOVE THE HEARERS TO COLLECTION” (HORATIO, ACT IV SCENE 5)

As I've mentioned in the last installment, TAFWVG has been released multiple times, in multiple editions – four of them, to be precise. And I wish I was exaggerating when I say that three of those four releases have been veritable masterclasses in testing your audience's loyalty. In case you're wondering: the secret is to alter your source material in strange and unpredictable ways, while also constantly messing up on the customer service front.
Most of this installment condenses and combines these two excellent write-ups, which contain most of the receipts: TAFWVG: A History / The Bloody Crumpets: An Inconsistent History. 🔍 Anything that isn't sourced with links is in there.
It turns out there are good reasons why most fiction authors don't do real-life inserts so overtly – but in EA's case, it did make sense, and was warmly embraced by fans upon release. When the book first came out, some of these people had been familiar to the fanbase for years, frequently appearing in candid pictures on EA's blog and leaving comments on the forum; some were also involved in her music and show. Recognizing that one character's name was a pun on So-and-So's username was a nice Easter egg for veteran fans, and newcomers got to learn about fandom lore; it brought the story to life and the community closer.
One side character, for instance, was named after EA's best friend from Chicago, whom many fans had had direct interactions with: she co-ran EA's online stores during the Enchant years, and acted as admin, main moderator and EA-liaison of the forum throughout its near-decade of existence.
One crazy girl who thinks she's a pirate is 100% OC... but her description and illustrations 🪞 were explicitly modeled after pictures of Bloody Crumpet Vecona (one of EA's back-up performers), who became the first stand-in pirate character 📺 in the live show. Captain Vecona was also celebrated as the “Asylum Seamstress” 🪞🔍: most of the iconic early Opheliac costumes were her design. She had a following of her own, even prior to touring with EA, for her professional costuming work and her collaborations with German photographer Angst-im-Wald. (Shitty archive link, sorry - most of those badass photoshoots seem to have been lost to time. But if you were a European goth in the mid-2000s, search your old hard drives: I promise you, you've downloaded some of those pictures.)
Inmate “Veronica”, a cabaret girl diagnosed as a nymphomaniac, was a doppelgänger of her namesake, burlesque dancer Veronica Varlow 🪞 – the ride-or-die Crumpet, whom EA often lovingly called her “husband”, saying they had been lovers in a previous lifetime. Veronica was part of every single tour post-Opheliac release and developed a solid fanbase of her own, which she maintains to this day.
Even the brave and well-mannered talking rats (oh yeah, there's talking rats in the Asylum story) were named after EA's real-life pet rodents, who had featured in glamorous photoshoots. (Slight NSFW for sideboob.)
You get the general gimmick by now: EA turns her personal life into art, which she turns into a fictional world, which she then prompts the audience to inhabit with her. The whole Asylum concept was essentially an open invitation to self-insert parasocial fanfic: “Here's this very personal world that I've created, in which I, the artist, exist as a fictional persona, alongside all these quirky inmate characters that you've seen in my stage show, and who are avatars my real-life friends. Come on in, make it your home, and populate it with your own zany Victorian alter egos.”
And it worked, to an extent: like I've said, most fans were on board before they'd even read the book, and the Asylum became “real” in that sense.
But it can get a bit disorienting to find your place in a fantasy world, when said world keeps changing based on the author's shifting feelings about her story, her target audience, and her friends... plus, you'd love to read the book, but the darn thing still hasn't shipped.

ROUNDS 1 & 2: THE HARDCOVERS

~A MINOR ADJUSTMENT~
TAFWVG was first teased in spoken-word bonus tracks 🎤 on a 2007 EP. In spring 2008, EA started reading excerpts from her upcoming book at live shows. Early excerpts from the Asylum narrative featured a character named “Jo Hee” 📺; in the story, she is a cellist from “the Orient” (love that Victorian geography) and Emily's childhood confidante.
In real life, Lady Jo Hee, Center of Happiness, was the OG Bloody Crumpet. 📺 She had been there since from the very first Opheliac show in Chicago in 2006, accompanying EA on the electric cello – the only instrumentalist ever featured in the line-up besides EA herself.
In August 2008, Alternative Magazine ran a feature about the upcoming book.🔍, teasing some of its pages. Fans were quick to spot a very sisterly picture of EA and Jo Hee 🪞, borrowed from a fan-favorite photoshoot of the two. (An aside: this specific picture also became famous in the fandom for another reason. At some point, someone made an edit replacing Jo Hee with Amy Lee from Evanescence; for a while, it kept making the rounds in alt/goth internet circuits, casual onlookers kept getting excited about it, and Plague Rats kept having to step in and disappoint them.)
Anyway. For reasons undisclosed by either party, Jo Hee quietly left the Crumpets after that tour, never to be mentioned again.
By the time the book came out in late 2009, the character of “Jo Hee” had been renamed “Sachiko”. (I guess it didn't matter whether the one non-white character in the story was meant to be Korean or Japanese.) Jo Hee's face had been edited out of the (still clearly recognizable) photograph, and eerily replaced with Nondescript_Asian_Woman_023.jpg from Shutterstock.🪞
You'd think that the switcheroo would have raised more eyebrows, or at least some awkward chuckles, among fans of an artist whose better-known lyrics include “If I Photoshop you out of every picture, I could / Go quietly, quiet - but would that do any good?”. Yet to my knowledge, it did not. Possibly because, by the time people got around to reading the book, some fans had been waiting for their copy longer than Jo Hee had been a Crumpet.
A ROCKY RELEASE
Although the book seemed just about ready for publication at the time of those 2008 readings, the initial release was delayed by technical difficulties (some data had been lost during the editing process). And then delayed some more when, a year later, EA cancelled the US leg of a tour and slammed the door on Trisol, accusing the label owner of exploitation and embezzlement (he was allegedly selling fake tickets to her shows on a phony website). In August 2009, she signed over to The End Records, and we were back in business, baby!
Not only was The Book on its way to the presses, but the long-awaited release would coincide with a “Deluxe” re-issue of Opheliac, with new cover art and bonus tracks. For $100, you could pre-order the “Ultimate Book/Album Collection”, which included the revamped album, the book, a t-shirt, a tote bag, a recipe booklet and some bonus digital downloads, to be shipped in October. Or, for a more up-close-and-personal experience, you could purchase a VIP bundle for her upcoming shows in the fall: $50 plus ticket price would get you the book, a swag bag, and a meet-and-greet. (VIP tickets were capped at 20 slots per show; from what I gather, informal interactions with fans at the merch table were becoming overwhelming on previous tours. Again: fast-growing audience.)
Alas, due to printing issues this time, the making and shipping were soon pushed back to December. VIP ticket-holders were assured, at the start of the tour, that their copies would be shipped first as soon as the books were printed, with handwritten dedications from EA. Purchasers of the “Book/Album” bundle would receive theirs shortly thereafter. This seemed like a reasonable trade-off for a minor delay, and no one was too upset. (Well, some might have been, but at that juncture in Asylum history – for reasons that will become apparent in a later installment, when we get to EA's altercations with her fans – I guess they knew better than to get mouthy about it.)
The bundles came first... and in many cases, “bundle” was a generous term, because they arrived incomplete. When the t-shirt or tote bag weren't missing, they were printed the wrong colors. Many digital download codes had to be requested via email. The book itself was beautiful, but poorly bound, typo-ridden, and missing entire pages. (This was largely fixed in the second hardcover release.)
As far as I know, everyone who complained to the distributor got their money back – and I imagine it was a nice surprise when some items showed up, inexplicably, months after they had already been refunded. But it was still a bit of a “sad trombone” moment for many loyal fans, who had to request a refund on the Ultimate Super-Cool Preorder Exclusive Bundle to purchase the book and album separately.
As for the VIP package books, those didn't start shipping until late 2010 – a whole year after the official book release, months after less invested fans had already received their non-preordered copies. Worse: none of the books were signed, much less lovingly adorned with a personalized handwritten note as EA had promised. (And had tweeted about doing during the year-long shipping delay!) After enough fans meekly expressed their intense disappointment, EA's BFF-forum-admin mailed out signed bookplates that people could stick in their book in lieu of a personalized autograph. No real explanation was given. As far as I know, this particular let-down didn't cause a mass exodus of disappointed fans – but, in the midst of other goings-on, it certainly contributed to eroding many fans' trust in EA's word.
EA TAKES ON HOLLYWOOD
The 2011 release of the largely-identical second edition was better planned and overall uneventful, which gives me time to catch you up on contemporaneous events – like the reason EA ditched the Opheliac red and went platinum blonde. 🪞
Around that time, EA got herself a supporting role and a solo number 🎵📺 in The Devil's Carnival, Darren Lynn Bousman's psychocircus-themed movie musical. (If you're scrambling to place the name: depending on what kind of deviant you are, DLB is either the guy who directed half of the Saw movies or the guy who directed Repo! The Genetic Opera.)
If you've clicked the last link: see the bad boy greaser she's dancing with at the end of the song? That's the titular “Scorpion”, played by Marc Senter, and they were totally hitting on each other while shooting this. 📝🪞 They've been an item for twelve years now, in what appears to be a loving and mutually supportive relationship, and they seem besotted with each other. That's only marginally relevant to the story, but it's nice to know that at least one nice thing worked out in all this mess.
Back to 2011. Through her friendship with DLB and the Devil's Carnival cast (a motley crew of top-shelf B-listers 🔍 that included Bill Moseley, Paul Sorvino, the chick from Spy Kids, and the clown from Slipknot), EA also made a bunch of new industry connexions. That's how she came to decide that TAFWVG was meant to be more than a book, more than a live show: it had to become... a musical. Full company, full orchestra, big names, the works. Her 2012 album, Fight Like a Girl, was written and recorded with this project in mind, with most songs narrating events from the book and EA singing as various characters – which turns love duets into finger food for Dr. Freud. 🎵
Shortly before the album release, EA announced on Twitter that the Asylum Musical was scheduled to debut in the London West End, under the direction of Bousman, in 2014. "Casting calls to be announced soon!" (They were not.)

ROUND 3: THE AUDIOBOOK

2014 came, and brought... another TAFWG re-release announcement.
But wait – this time, it was going to be an audiobook! EA had been teasing one since before the original release, so people were quite excited. (It also sounded like a more achievable goal for the calendar year than a West End debut.) In early 2014, recording was well on its way, and the 6-CD boxset was due to ship in May.
PLEASE STAND BY, YOUR ASYLUM WILL BE PROCESSED SHORTLY
First, EA discovered “a new microphone ... that, upon testing, produced a recording of far greater beauty and expressive quality”, which naturally meant the whole thing had to be re-recorded. Two month's delay. No biggie. Our girl is a perfectionist.
But our girl also had to write, coordinate and rehearse her upcoming “Asylum Experience” – an afternoon-long interactive theater event, directed by Darren Lynn Bousman, which would be performed at five dates of the Vans Warped Tour in August. (It's not exactly the West End, but it's a start! 🔍) And then she had to prepare for the filming of the Devil's Carnival sequel in the fall. So, obviously, the July deadline was not met. When she finally gave an update in late 2014, the ETA was basically “we are ever so close, but the audiobook gets there when it gets there; feel free to ask for a refund if you're not along for the ride”.
And then she signed with a literary agent. TAFWVG was going to be made into a “real” book, that readers could purchase in stores for a normal price and request from their local library – big event! (More for EA, I think, than for her fans. By that point, the second edition could be purchased as a PDF, and I believe most people who pre-ordered the audiobook had already read the story.) But this involved tailoring the narrative to a more general audience, which meant portions of the book had to be re-written... which meant further delays.

...Besides, and let’s have a teacup of “honesty time” here, if the new Asylum becomes an internationally best-selling novel, not only can we enact more change for good, but the Asylum Musical takes over Broadway faster, the Asylum Movie takes over theatres faster, and YOU are all dressed up as rats/inmates in said movie, you guessed it, faster (“Asylum Audiobook Announcement from EA”📝)

Well, you know what they say in show business: if you can't make it in London, there's always New York.
As EA assured her fans, their patience would be rewarded with a brand new, professionally polished version of the story – and in due time, I guess, a role in the movie. (“Let's hope she doesn't find another new microphone!” 🐀)
From that point on, there seems to have been an ever-widening gap between EA's enthusiasm and fan expectations. When audiobook snippets 🎤.mp3) were released, many fans were unimpressed by the oddly flat, overproduced recording (turns out a microphone can be so good it's a problem! 🐀), which highlighted EA's stilted, uncanny diction and not-quite-transatlantic accent. That caught everyone off guard, because she didn't use to read like... that. Even die-hard apologists had to concede through gritted teeth that, tragically, it was giving William Shatner. (If you're curious, you can find more previews here 🎤📝, along with EA's captions.)
Fans weren't just getting irritated with the various delays and excuses: they were baffled, angry, and embarrassed. When EA clapped back “U know U can just get a refund, right? That is totally within your power to do” on social media, and it came out that requests for refunds had been getting ignored for weeks or months 🐀, seasoned fans were like “Yeah, that tracks.” The whole never-ending ordeal was just starting to feel silly.
All told, the audiobook took two years to complete, with little to no new music in the interim. Two years is a long time for a young-leaning audience! Fans who had preordered at the end of their sophomore year were graduating high school by the time it came out. Others who had been in the middle of undergrad were now looking for full-time jobs. People had gotten pregnant, given birth and potty trained, or had houses built from the ground up. Genuine ultra-fans of the book had had time to... presumably, read other books. (“I wonder how many people passed away waiting for this shitty audiobook to be finished?”)
When the audiobook came out, many long-time Plague Rats had defected, either lamenting the misguided decisions of their favorite artist, or just calling EA a money-grabbing fraud and a lying liar. And a number of patient and unbothered fans had, quite simply, grown out of their EA phase.
Your humble servant, for one, ordered the audiobook the week it went on sale, and stuck with that preorder through five address changes and two graduation ceremonies. Now, bear in mind: through all the ups and downs, even as the charm dispelled, my taste in music evolved, and my perception of EA herself changed, I never formally stopped considering myself a fan. (Mama didn't raise no quitter.) To this day, and to my profound embarrassment, I give enough of a shit that I'm taking the time to write this story at all, and that I was able to draft most of itfrom memory.(Mama didn't teach me how to prioritize.) Well, get this: I have never once listened to the audiobook. I remember unwrapping the signed boxset (minimal artwork, flimsy cardboard, no liner notes), thinking “this could have been an email”, telling myself I'd get around to it for old time's sake... and then I never did, because it was ten hours long, and I just couldn't force myself to care about that story anymore. I was not an isolated case.
In light of this, I apologize in advance for any potential errors in the following paragraphs; others listened so posers like me wouldn't have to 🔍, and I'm going off of their word. The new and improved edition was, indeed, a different book – in that a bunch of things that felt meaningful to fans had been either reworked or excised.
THE AUDIOBOOK EDITS
The hospital narrative had been shortened in favor of the asylum story, and the controversial “Drug / Suicide / Cutting” diaries had been scrapped. Part of the fanbase applauded this decision, but others were disappointed 🐀, as they had found the diaries to be the most (some said only) personal, authentic, and insightful chapters in the book.
Curse words, some abuse, and all mentions of abortion had also been purged. It made the book tamer, but not by much... because Emilie's age had been changed from 27 to 17. Apparently, the literary agent had suggested this to make the book more marketable to a Young Adult audience. No other biographical detail had been altered, so the main narrator was now a 17 year old girl with no parents but an established music career, who checks in by herself into a high-security adult ward, no questions asked. (I'm still perplexed by this one. Did they not expect YA readers to know how hospitals work...?)
The pirate captain, formally known by her “mass of tangled black hair”, was now... a blonde. According to EA, this was a purely aesthetic change: it made the three main Asylum girls a redhead, a blonde and a brunette, which would look better in the stage adaptation. Between the lines, it also distanced the character from its original dark-haired muse: Vecona, who had left the Crumpets in 2008 after a rumored falling-out with EA over unpaid costume work.
The minor characters based on EA's old Chicago friends had been discarded entirely. Which likely made sense for EA – she hadn't lived there in years, the friend group had drifted apart as friend groups do, and by that point, there no longer was an EA forum to administrate or comment on – but not so much for her readers. Some fans had grown fond of these fictional inmates (wasn't that the point?), and weren't too happy to see EA symbolically treat them as disposable. Others were saddened that EA would just scrap these remnants of her old life, and of what felt like simpler, happier times in the fandom. Either way, children, this is why you shouldn't get a neck tattoo of your first boyfriend's name, OR openly base the “good guys” in your career-defining book on friends you made in your early twenties.
To compensate for the loss of... most named inmate characters, Veronica was given a much more prominent role in the plot. Namely, instead of being best friends, Veronica and Emily were now... in love! Lovers! Lesbian lovers! Which naturally meant that Veronica had to die. 🔍 Besides, fans famously love it when you pull a gay ship out of thin air between your two main characters, and then kill one of them off so that the other suffers more.
One last one, because I find it especially goofy: a scrappy teddy bear named Suffer, given to Emily by the talking rats, was replaced with...a Very Large Spoon, which gets its very own number in the musical. 🎵 The rationale was that Emily could use the spoon as a weapon in the climactic uprising against the Asylum doctors. Which, fair enough... except that, prior to being a cute and anachronistic 🔍 MacGuffin in the fictional Asylum story, Suffer the Bear had been a beloved mascot🪞 from the early Opheliac live shows. Some still remembered when EA had raised HELL, even starting a #FREESUFFER campaign on Twitter, because she thought someone had stolen Suffer from the stage (it later turned out that he had been misplaced in a flight case). All that noise back in the day... and now Suffer didn't matter anymore? The nerve. “She made shirts and everything!” 🐀
All this to say, reception was lukewarm. EA hadn't performed live since 2014 and the Devil's Carnival sequel had failed to make a splash (despite decent reviews, the franchise and main collaboration fell apart before the end of the promotional tour 🔍). People were checking out. There was only one way to correct this. A true paradigm shift. A fresh start – a new theme?
Hell no. It's another edition of The Asylum for Revisionist Tortureporn Friendfictions!

ROUND 4: THE E-BOOK & THE QUEST FOR THE SPOON OF ROYALS

In 2017, about a year after the audiobook release, EA self-published a digital version of TAFWVG through Amazon. The literary agent hadn't worked out in the end: publishers were put off by how dark the book was, even after the audiobook edits. EA explained that she hadn't been comfortable with some of the alterations in the first place; she respected the agent's input and had tried to give it an honest shot, but in the end, she wanted to do it the way she wanted to do it, solo... and this was it.
EA had reverted a number of the audiobook cuts (including swear words, mentions of abortion, and the narrator's age), but kept most of the changes to the Asylum narrative – namely, the omission of Former Friends Characters, and the romance between Emily and Veronica. In the newsletter announcement, she mentions being in the process of “re-recording the few little bits of the audiobook to reflect the current text version”. Not sure where we're at on that front; it's never been brought up again, and I don't think anyone's checked. (I assume most fans had war flashbacks when they read the word “re-record”, and instantly repressed that part of the communiqué.)
The “Drug / Suicide / Cutting” diaries were still omitted in the first release of the e-book, but re-included as a coda soon after, by popular demand, under the title “Evidence of Insanity” – with fantastical “doctor's annotations” like“W14A seems to have disassociated her own identity, episodic, each lasting for a longer period of time. We suspect she will continue further in this – stronger medication is needed, schedule electroconvulsive therapy.”
A physical paperback edition was released a few months later; in anticipation of this, the e-book was a stripped-down, text-centric version of the story. (Honestly not a bad call, because the digital version from 2012 was a scanned, non-searchable, 1.3GB PDF behemoth – not super Kindle-friendly!) No elaborate backgrounds and color photographs in this edition, but the pages were still illustrated with inserts of rats, keys, teacups, and... hold on... ciphers??🪞
As always in the Asylum, history doesn't repeat itself, but it rhymes. In a throwback to the prelapsarian days of the Enchant Puzzle (remember? the one that no one ever managed to solve?), the e-book illustrations contained puzzles, which formed the master-key to... a scavenger hunt! And in keeping with tradition, the grand prize was an extravagant adornment hand-crafted by EA: the “Spoon of Royals”.🪞📝 Oh my!
Some of the puzzles are simple anagrams that can be solved for keywords. A clickable word within the adjacent text takes you to a password-protected link, which takes you through to an audio file – a song or an atmospheric instrumental that goes with that moment of the story. There are also more complex ciphers that decode into riddles. Each key depicted in the book has a number or letter engraved on it. The total number of rats in the book is apparently significant. One link takes you through to a blank page whose source code contains a list of coordinates from various bridges around the world.
Oh, it was a whole thing. When the book came out, you could send a picture of you doing EA's signature “rat claw” hand sign🪞 to request admission to a private Facebook group (the “Striped Stocking Society”) where people could help each other solve the clues and EA would occasionally pop in for a chat. There was also a series of mysterious newsletters in early 2018, culminating in a Los Angeles event where EA showed up in person to pass on extra puzzle-solving material to a handful of lucky fans (although said material raised more questions that it answered 📝).
Overall, it was a great idea! Although the fanbase was generally smaller and less active after four years without a new tour or album (and a fair amount of other drama, which we have yet to get into), the e-book puzzle did pique people's interest in purchasing yet another version of the same story.
Unfortunately, once again, EA overestimated either how intuitive her fans were, or how invested they would remain. After months of collaborative efforts across multiple platforms, a number of puzzles had been cracked 🔍, but it was still unclear how the individual anagrams and numbers and riddle-solutions all fit together as scavenger hunt clues.
EA kept up the hype for a while, but the few hints that she gave on social media only revealed yet more encryption factors without really helping fans connect the dots. One cipher remained unsolved on Instagram for days and days before EA caved in and hinted at which key to use. She did helpfully specify that if you didn't know how to read music, you'd better start learning. (...Was this a fun puzzle, or a prep school admission test?) The in-person LA event had also sown some confusion as to the rules and constraints of the game: would winning involve traveling to a physical location? That didn't seem very fair. EA had mentioned physically burying some items – but could you solve the puzzle from a distance? Is the Spoon of Royals literally just buried under the Shakespeare Bridge in Los Angeles, California?? 🐀
I'm just saying: if this had come up in 2008? People in corsets and platform boots would have been out there digging.
But this was 2018. As we've mentioned, the core of EA's active fanbase (a lot of whom had been teens and young adults when she was touring Opheliac) was fast aging out of the years when most folks have the spare time, dedication, or desire to essentially do super-involved homework out of love for their favorite singer. Uncovering new songs was a fun perk the first year – but after the new album came out in 2018, none of the passwords led to exclusive material anymore. It felt a bit lacklustre for something so labor-intensive.
(The new music itself wasn't a rallying point either. Behind the Musical was, quite literally, an intended vocal guide for the Asylum musical – so, basically a collection of demos. The sound was VERY Broadway Revival, somewhat Phantomish 🎵, in a way that's either good or bad depending on who's saying it. The violins, to fans' chagrin, sounded all-MIDI; no sign of actual instrumental recordings. EA sang all the parts herself, as she had on her previous album. I'm not saying there's no merit in a one-woman Andrew Lloyd Weber tribute. Many old fans enjoyed the new material well enough, some even really liked it – but most agreed that it just didn't hit like her earlier stuff used to, and that it felt rather unfinished.)
Unlike with the Enchant Puzzle, the prize itself was not much of an intrinsic motivation. While the Faerie Queen's Wings were a straightforward concept that evoked EA's own signature stage costumes, the Spoon of Royals was... a large spoon attached to a necklace, community-college-art-teacher style. It looked impractical both as a spoon and as a necklace, and more importantly, I'm not sure how many readers felt a deep emotional connection to the spoon in the story. The spoon that had usurped Suffer the Bear, no less!
In short: people gave up on the game because it was too hard, it came too late, and they had other things to do.
Thus, the Spoon of Royals remains unclaimed to this day, and I doubt I'll see anyone crack the puzzle in this lifetime. The Striped Stocking Society FB group was terminated in 2020, around the same time a bunch of fansites folded and EA closed her Instagram comments for the first time. By that point, both EA and her fans had bigger rats to skewer – but we have a ways to go before we reach that part of the story.
I would encourage you to give the puzzle a shot for the hell of it (in case you're a cryptography nerd and currently under house arrest or in a full-body cast) but... I just tried a bunch of the links, and the passwords don't work anymore. So I guess that's that. To quote old Bill by way of conclusion: “Much ado about nothing”.

ROUND TOO-MANY: I'LL SEE YOU ON BROADWAY OR I'LL SEE YOU IN HELL

So, what now? Well, not much.
By the late 2010s, what kept many fans semi-invested – if nothing else, because it clearly meant so much to EA herself – was the prospect of an upcoming stage musical adaptation. The way EA talked about it 📺, it was very much a “when”, not an “if”. Sure, ten years on, we were still collectively stuck in the Asylum, but it would at least be a new format – and a return to EA's main field of expertise, ie songwriting and performing. Not only did the core fanbase long for new music and new shows, but Fight Like a Girl and Behind the Musical had brought in small influxes of new fans who were very eager for any chance to see her live. So whether it was out of genuine enthusiasm for the project, or out of “let EA have her musical so we can maybe finally move on”, the fanbase was overall supportive.
Even though people still joked about the 2012 announcement of a “2014 West End debut” (seriously, what was she thinking?), EA had really buckled down in the intervening years, and it looked like the project was plausibly well underway. As in, we had more than just EA's word to go on: the involvement of other people, who did not reside in the Asylum, seemed to confirm that the musical was a thing.

[CONTINUED IN COMMENTS because Reddit is being ridiculous about the character count. I swear I was under 40,000!]

I am not, in fact, dead. I am actually alive! Yes, this chapter took a while, but story of Krekos continues, less chickens today but somehow no less broken birds. Don't worry, we'll return to the chickens soon enough. For now, I just hope you enjoy~
Big thank you to NoP community for being great!
Also, obviously, big thanks to SpacePaladin15 for creating this universe and allowing fanfiction well to flow free!
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Memory transcription subject: Krekos, Krakotl Refugee
Date [standardized human time]: May 5th, 2137
I took a step out of the human ‘therapist’s office and out into the lobby and slowly breathed in. I have done it. I have endured almost an hour of time alone in room with a stranger predator without visibly panicking while also answering their incessant questioning. It was surprisingly tame, in the end, and I expected it to be worse for many different reasons.
I suppose I have to admit, idea of some equivalent of Predator Disease science among sapient predators was something I entertained since as early as I have just learned about the arxur. It always made sense to me that a sapient bloodthirsty monster would have ways of finding those who show empathy, kindness and other traits naturally inherent to prey species. Of course, voicing those thoughts got me screened for PD myself at the time, probably because it was rather weird for a hatchling in early school years to think so much about predator society, but results came back clear and I discarded the stupid thoughts at the time. Yet with arrival of the humans and their own society, I found out I was correct.
While on the ride to the session with Lena, I took the time to learn a bit more using the internet and found out that humanity did have its own medical science of the mind, and apparently they found different ways of solving the issues related to it. The methods that we use appear outdated to them, because they last used them two centuries ago! I suppose it’s far from first time a species develops radically ahead in one field, while staying behind in others, just look at zurulians. And yet, before I could learn more details about modern practices of that science, I was already in front of the office with promise to be picked up in three hours.
I was prepared for the screening, shoving away any empathy I had into far corners of my mind, channeling the small figments of rage and frustration forward and, of course, trying to imitate some sense of bloodlust. Except it seems like this was not a session that thorough, because instead of being screened, I was just interrogated about my past. I can only assume it’s the whiplash from what I was expecting to the mundanity of what happened that led to it feeling so easy, compared to last time I was being interrogated. And she didn’t even ask any strategic questions, although that’s likely due to the fact that with war already won by humans, there is no point in it.
Instead Dr. Cathaway asked more about what I’m ‘worried’ about. Obviously, I didn’t mention anything related to my natural instinctual fear of being around humans, but she picked up on that anyway. I don’t think she once looked directly at me throughout the time of the session, which was extremely welcome when it comes to human interaction. And because I wasn’t stupid enough to talk about how I mostly wanted to go back home and as far away from humans as possible for rest of my life, I talked about the more mundane worries that wouldn’t make me seem undesirable to keep around. Like concerns I have about chickens. Not the predator stalking them, or the bullying among them, moreso their... General existence. And also concerns about my upcoming attempt to restart my education.
It was surprisingly easy to talk to a human when they’re not constantly staring you down and actually react to your body language. Lena did mention this therapist worked with other refugees, but I did not expect a human to be able to grasp it. By the end of the session I almost forgot that doctor was a human at all.
And when the hour was up, she said she was glad I opened up. Did I? I don’t think I did. Maybe I should have been less talkative because she promised to be more ready for next time and have something prepared just for me. I wonder what she could mean. Bringing proper brain scan equipment? I doubt that, our further sessions were to be done remotely after all, it was in-person only for the first one. Maybe she caught onto me not saying everything? But I am very good at hiding information behind veil of meekness, I was certain.
And that brings me to now, standing in the lobby and coming to terms with reality of what I just went through and how... easy it was. Just sitting down and having a chat with a predator. If I had some doubts about it before, by now I could certainly qualify as someone sick with Predator Disease anywhere else within Federation.
Or what’s left of it anyway. It’s all run by humans now.
Pushing aside thoughts of living in the post-war world, I stepped outside the therapist’s building and onto the street. It wasn’t too busy thankfully, but even the few humans walking about their business almost instantly turned their heads towards me the moment I was outside.
The upside of having superior peripheral vision is being able to spot all of the humans staring at me. The downside of having superior peripheral is being unable to avoid looking at humans staring at me. One of them actively bared their teeth as they walked past me, expression in clear angered scowl, making me scamper out of the way. To avoid gathering any more unwanted predator attention, I start walking towards my next destination, doing my best to ignore the fact that any human that’s not staring down into their device is staring directly at me with furrowed brows and a sneer.
I quickened my pace, suppressing instinct to take flight. While it would not break any human rules for me to take to the sky, back when I still lived at the refugee camp, I was advised strongly against it due to how much attention I could draw. Although I’m not too sure it can get much worse than the attention I am receiving now...
They are all eyeing me up like they want to kill me. Not without a reason.
There is a reason that I am to meet Lena later. Both of us had our own business here in town after all. She needed to buy some supplies in preparation for her son’s arrival, while I, in addition to the first visit to the therapist, needed to take a visit and register in-person at the camp for my application to proceed. I don’t understand what is it with humans and needing to personally stare someone down before they are willing to deal with you. First the therapist insisting first session must be in person and only later ones being online, then filling out online application for education only to be asked to do that again physically. Actually, is it a predator thing, or is it just a primitive thing? I think I heard something about yotul strongly preferring in-person dealings over remote too.
“Out of the way, shitbird!”
Sudden yell snapped me out of those thoughts, as I remembered where I was and scampered out of the way of the human in front of me. The street had more than enough space, this one could have just stepped to the side... But I guess that’s not the point to make here.
The point is that you’re not welcome.
The human kept the eye contact as they kept walking down in opposite direction. I could hear them muttering something that sounded like human curses, but the sound was too incoherent for my translator to pick up. Abandoning my musings about cultural aspects of primitive societies, I focused on the road, intent on giving any further humans along the way a wider berth.
That’s what they warned me about when I still lived at the camp and why the only time I stepped foot outside of it was when I was responding to the job offer. That I personally would likely be a target for harassment and shouldn’t be alone. Well, not like anyone at the camp was willing to escort me even if I had wanted to explore the town. And while Lena and Reginald showed willingness, they were busy and it’s not like I could ask them unless it was already along the way, like today was for Lena.
The rest of the walk was thankfully devoid of more human run-ins, although definitely not devoid of every human passing by shamelessly staring me down. Any sense of calm I felt after meeting with Dr. Cathaway was as good as gone by time I reached the administrative building by the refugee camp.
The receptionist, surprisingly but thankfully, was a venlil who dismissively pointed me down the hall. I found the correct office quickly, but seems like there’s already a bit of a line there. Waiting outside of it in one of waiting chair sat a gojid, tapping idly at his holopad to pass time. I was glad for non-human company even if experience told me this isn’t likely to be the friendliest interaction, so I sat next to him. He, in turn, only acknowledged me for a moment before his spines bristled in frustration and he returned his attention back to his device.
Still, I knew I was safe from more physical forms of harassment while here, so I decided to push my luck. After all, if he’s here, he must be part of the education program too. I wonder what sort of course he’s going for. Well, I should try the conversation at least.
“Uhm. Good day. My name is—”
“I already know your name, deserter,” gojid responds with an aggressive grumble in his voice. Well, this isn’t off to the best start.
I suppose he’s one of the ones that supported extermination, if he’s calling me deserter and not traitor? And it kind of makes sense that I’d be known at the camp. It was mostly the gojid that decided to stay for one reason or another even after there were new settlement opportunities provided. There were also a few people from other worlds that opposed humans, like tilfish and harchen. But krakotl? I was the only one, and it was made clear to everyone that I’ve gone through human justice system and came out clear.
But I wasn’t going to give up on small talk so easily.
“Then you have me at disadvantage...” I trailed off, waiting for him to give me his name.
“...Bakir. What’s it to you, Krekos?”
The way he said my name was almost dripping with contempt. I felt temptation to stop attempting friendly talk, but this is first time I’ve seen a non-predator in weeks, and being able to chat even with unfriendly face was something I’ve been craving for a while.
“Nice to meet you, Bakir! I just wanted to get to know you you. We’re both in education program, so we could end up studying together. It’s good to know potential fellow students.”
Gojid’s spines visibly twitched. I found myself sinking into my feathers as I realized I was pushing a bit too hard.
“I fucking hope not. Listen, I get you’re trying to act all friendly, but I simply don’t care. I’m glad I wasn’t in one of the camps on other side of the world that you lot vaporized along with the human cities,” Bakir put his pad aside and started leaning towards me, actively staring at me head on, like a predator would, as he continued and pointed his claw at me, “and while humans may say you personally are innocent, I don’t believe it. Whatever lies you told those gullible false predators won’t work on me, got it, krakotl?”
I simply twitched my tail, along with a nod I picked up from human gestures to indicate my understanding. I never lied, but I doubt he’d care either way if I were to try pointing that out.
“Great. Now shut up and let me wait in peace, you—”
“Bakir, are you picking fights again?”
In my focus on the gojid, I didn’t notice the office door opening and someone stepping out of it. Said someone being another gojid, a woman, who now was looking at Bakir with frustrated look.
“What? He kept acting all friendly! I had to tell him off!” Gojid man responds, trying to excuse himself.
The gojid woman eyed me with clear suspicion before grabbing Bakir by the arm and leading him off.
“You should have just ignored him, what if you got in trouble? How will we stay together if your application gets denied for behavior?”
Bakir simply let out a frustrated grumble and led his mate? lead him out of the waiting room. Wait, out? Was he not next in queue then?
Oh. He was probably just waiting for her to be done. I see. That means I’m next. I hop off the chair and enter the office.
As expected, it’s a human. I shouldn’t have gotten my hopes up after seeing a venlil receptionist.
“Oh. It’s you...” The human instantly seemed disappointed as he clutched his forehead. “Come on in, have a seat, Mr. Krekos...”
I followed the order silently, sitting in clearly less elaborate chair across from the official’s desk.
“Alright. So. I won’t lie, I hoped that once you moved in with that family I wouldn’t have to deal with you but I was wrong. Medical education program, correct?”
“Uh... Yes. Once I am signed up, you won’t have to see me again though, right?”
The human grumbled.
“God, I wish. And don’t get me wrong, I know of your acquittal, but believe me when I say this, the security concerns around your constant presence are going to be my continuous headache for years to come,” he said as he started tapping something on his keyboard.
“I don’t cause any trouble. I... I never wanted to be a part of it...”
“I’m not talking about security measures against you. I’m talking about your security. Do you know how many calls I had redirected to me today about potential ‘loose war criminal’ in town? Way too many. But nevermind that. So. The program. So far we’ve got three classes shaping up, engineering, social sciences and medical. And there’s single-digit participant count in each. You’re in luck because three out of five medical course participants are from the local camp, the others will relocate here and you won’t have to move or study remotely.”
“That’s... good? Are they all also...”
“Yes, they’re all aliens too, it’s all about easing you guys in with alien-only classes. To see how your education compares and how we should approach integration in future. Anyway...” he pulled out a piece of paper as well as a pen, pushing it towards me, “Your waiver. Sign it and you’re in.”
I wasn’t stupid enough to sign it blindly, so I took out my visual translator. Human rolled his eyes in exasperation, but didn’t say anything so I ignored him as I actually read the clauses of the document. And... it seemed normal. It explained that I’d be enrolling in special nonstandard class, that I’d be obliged to be respectful to all classmates and educators regardless of their species, extra clauses regarding forbidding anti-predator rhetoric... Basically don’t insult the humans or else you’re out. Got it.
Pen was a bit annoying to pick up with how thin it was compared to Federation average writing implement, but once I had it, I quickly put my signature down. The moment I was done, the human official snatched the piece of paper away from me and put it into a small stack on table behind him. I assume that’s Bakir’s and his mate’s waivers there.
“That’s that. You’re free to go, I’ll send details to your email or whatever it is interstellar version of it is called when we have concrete schedule, but we’re looking to start about two weeks from now. On the way out, tell the next person out there to come in if there’s any.”
“W-Wait!”
Before the human could return to tapping at the computer, something inside me compelled me to speak out. He actually looked back at me in surprise too, like he didn’t expect that. To be honest, neither did I, but I guess now’s better time than ever...
“I... needed to ask something. I didn’t know where, or who to ask, but... I h-heard there were... More cattle releases. From the... a-arxur. And... my father was on Nishtal when the raid happened, s-so...”
The human sighed, dipping their head. Oh, Intala, I am stupid to ask them that, of course they don’t care and want nothing to do with it.
“Give me a minute. Your biometrics are already in the database, so it should be a quick thing to look it up.”
Huh? Wait, is he actually looking it up? Is it as easy as tapping a few more keyboard buttons?
“...sorry to say, no close DNA matches among the entries that we have. I will say it’s possible there are still people not yet put into database, or even medically processed, so I’ll put a notification in for if matches show up, but I wouldn’t get your hopes up. I’m sorry for your loss.”
...it was a vain hope anyway. I even basically accepted his death already anyway, why did I even ask? I knew it, I knew he’s been killed and torn apart and devoured by the arxur just like we deserve for all we have done.
“I see. Th-thank you.”
I get down from the chair and step out of the office, not even glancing at the human at the desk again. I still don’t even know their name, but it doesn’t matter. I accepted it. I am not torn up about it unlike him.
With that done, my business is finished. Checking local time, I still have a bit to go before I am supposed to meet up with Lena again, so once I am out of the building, I just begin wandering the streets. Getting lost isn’t among my concerns thanks to navigation applications on my pad and I could use something to distract my thoughts. And my thoughts trying to push in would, in turn, distract me from constant gazing of predatory eyes. It just works out like that.
As I walk down the street, I avoid actual eye contact with humans staring me down, instead actually looking around the town. Architecture is surprisingly nondescript. It’s definitely no Federation urban center, but with a bit more technology and cleanliness, it could pass as a decent town on a world of one of less influential species.
There was even a park! A park! A year ago the idea of a predator relaxing in a park would have been completely laughable. Now I was wandering into a park made by predators, for predators, to relax there myself. Or try to at least. Despite there being no predator eyes constantly staring down at me among the pathways, there were other reminders of my bleak situation. Such as all the trees being so alien. Sure, the shape was tree-like and colors were close, but one look in detail and it’s clear those are not trees from home. Some are too short, others have wrong leaf shapes, bark color is just off...
And then there’s the birds. Krakotl cities don’t usually have birds living there, but over today I’ve seen these small blue-grey birds all over, flying around, sitting on power lines, scavenging near trash cans. Completely unafraid of predators all around, with said predators just passing by, ignoring the stupid prey in turn. Birds back on Nishtal always took off at first sign of anything larger than them. It’s basic survival instinct. Though I should know by now, that on this planet, birds don’t really have that.
You included.
In my idle musings, I wound up walking deeper into the park, following the direction I saw a small group of town birds fly. Curiosity to see where they were flying was leading me on, and although I was tempted to take flight myself now that there was nobody looking, I suspected doing so would change that and draw attention. Streets weren’t that far away, after all.
Following general direction of the small group I saw fly earlier led me through the park pathways to a small opening, a circular area lined with benches, though only one was occupied. A single human sitting on the bench and at his feet there was an entire flock of the town birds. The human seemed to be holding a plastic bag containing a loaf of some sort inside. Regularly, human would reach inside and take out a piece of that loaf, crunching it up with their spindly fingers and throwing it down into the chaotic mass of birds for them to eat. Scene was bizarre, to say the least, though not too unlike what I’ve experienced at the cattle farm.
Whenever food is there for those bloated beasts is present, they swarm it ravenously, even though it’s clear they are not starving, eager to fill themselves to excess. I was concerned that they were being rationed and kept weak when I first learned that I should only give them a specific minimum amount of food twice a day, but after seeing their reactions to it, how much they keep gorging on the pasture, and how obese they get even with the limited nutrition, I believe it is correct to prevent those things from getting more food than necessary. Maybe it’s because they were kept for their egg-laying that they weren’t allowed to keep gorging? I imagine any creature being kept to harvest its flesh would be allowed to fatten itself up for sake of predator’s hunger.
Even now, this man was herding these birds together, feeding them as they fought and shoved for crumbs of the loaf. I suppose it makes sense that parks, places where peaceful animals can have refuge in what is otherwise a bustling city, would be a place where predators can raise cattle in an environment where it can thrive. Even now I could see more birds flying in, gathering around for the feeding. Maybe that’s why they are tolerated on the streets, because they haven’t been fattened sufficiently.
“You want some?”
Human growling snapped me out of my musings and forced me to realize that I’ve been standing out in the open as I observed and contemplated the scene. Abruptness of coming back to reality did affect my ability to respond articulately.
“Huh?”
“You were standing there staring at me feeding the birds for a while, and while I’m not good at reading alien expressions, you did seem enraptured. So, uh...” the human took a large rectangular chunk of the loaf out and outstretched it in my general direction, “do you want some?”
He... He sees me as one of the meat birds!
“I’m not one of your cattle!” I yelled, not caring for agitating it. I had to make it known that I was one of the accepted ones.
The human stared at me for a bit before starting to laugh with its barky noises.
“Hahah... You thought that? Hahaha... God... You guys... Never... Hah! The weirdest! Hahaha!”
He just kept laughing and laughing, as my fear was replaced with confusion and then frustration.
“What’s so funny?!”
“You aliens... Hah... It never gets old. You think I’m raising pigeons for meat? Really? God... That’s just... Hahah...” Human takes some time to wipe his face and recover from the laughing fit. “No! Of course I’m not. They’re pigeons! Who eats pigeons? Oh, well, maybe French—Actually I shouldn’t say that but—Uh. Answer is no. They’re not my birds and I’m not feeding them for meat.”
While I had many questions in regards to things the human just said, I decided to get answer to the main one before proceding further.
“Then why are you feeding them? For someone else to eat?”
“No! I feed them just to feed them. They don’t get much to eat just scavenging scraps and trash, so I just. You know. Occasionally feed them. Especially when bread gets a tad stale and I don’t want to eat it, but also don’t want to let it get moldy.” He took another piece out and crushed it in his hand, before throwing the crumbs to the birds. Indeed, that was human bread I grew familiar with over my time with Lena and Reginald, not fresh, but far from bad. “So. You want some?” he asked again, shaking the large piece he offered me again.
I hesitated. Refusing a gift offered was considered very rude in many cultures, and it clearly was just human bread. I had it before, it’s nothing too special. So, with healthy dose of hesitation, I approach the human’s outstretched hand. As I come closer, the flock of dirty birds at my feet splits and moves further away, though remaining focused on pile of crumbs. So they have some semblance of avoiding creatures larger than them. It just only applies when they are in grabbing reach. I could just lunge and take hold of a few right now! What stupid birds.
Why am I thinking about that? It’s predatory.
Once within reach, I extend my wing and grasp the piece of loaf with a claw. It was just slightly crusty. I’m pretty sure Lena once ate a loaf that was crunchier than one I was handed. Perhaps it’s a different type of bread from one she usually used?
The human gave a few slaps to the spot on the bench beside him. My legs were rather aching from excess of walking I did today. Krakotl were built for flight after all. Still, when I hopped onto the bench, I did it on the very edge, perching as far away from the human as possible. Once my legs felt relaxed, I turned my attention to the bread in my wingclaw.
“Don’t worry, it’s just a bun, I heard bread’s safe for you. I always buy brioche in whole packs, but I keep getting a lot and then not eating any. And once they’re no longer soft and fresh they’re no good for me, so I feed it to the birds,” human explains, crushing up more crumbs and tossing them in front of him to celebration of the hungry flock. “Guess today it’s not just pigeons though,” he adds with a laugh.
It really does seem like normal piece of bread and looking at where it was torn from larger loaf, I don’t see any pieces of flesh embedded in it. After a bit of hesitation I took a peck. The taste was... not great. It had a clear bitterness to it, though it was disguised by what otherwise was normal flavor of bread, if sweeter than what I’m used to. Yeah, sweeter yet more bitter bread. Perhaps some humans enjoy the bitterness?
“Heh, I knew it’d work for ya. Worked for those guys,” the human happily kept tossing more and more crumbs to the birds. “Name’s Bob by the way. What about you?”
“...why are you doing this?” I asked, incredulous at the attitude this human is showing.
“Well, if you mean asking you, it’s because that’s a polite thing to do, ain’t it? And if you mean feeding the birds... Well. It feels nice. I know some of you guys still aren’t really accepting it, but we do feel bad when we see others struggle. Empathy and all.” Human takes a pause, looking at the swarming birds. “And yeah, krakotl and whatnot. I heard that there is one at local shelter, and if you were there, well. You’re not one of the bad ones, I bet.”
Empathy and all... He is just feeding them because they struggle to feed themselves within the city. Not because they are useful or delicious. I went past several small flocks of these birds today and the only things I felt were contempt at their stupidity and disgust at their visible lack of hygiene. Even animal should know how to groom itself, after all. And not once have I felt any strong pity towards them, despite it being obvious that in this predator-filled town, they probably survive only on meager scraps from their tables, with no vegetation to be seen outside this park.
Why didn’t I feel pity? Why didn’t I feel bad for them? Am I losing my empathy? Am I more of a predator than an actual predator?
I bite at the piece of bread aggressively. The flavor is bitter, but it feels right. A feeling creature would have better food, and I scarcely qualify as one anymore. If I had any decency left, I’d ask for travel to closest herbivore world and get myself institutionalized in a Predator Disease facility for everyone’s sake. If even humans feel more compassion than me, then what am I?
A monster that shouldn’t be around people.
Bitter taste burns my throat as I swallow a large chunk and realize I’m done with the piece I was handed. Uncertain on when that happened I looked up at human in confusion. He was just smiling back at me, thankfully without showing teeth.
“Heh. I thought you’d take a while pecking that bun apart, but you demolished it. So, uh, gonna tell me your name, or?”
“Krekos.” I answer absentmindedly. Realization that this predator was showing more compassion than me was still shocking, so I didn’t process that I just gave him my name.
“Nice to meetcha! But, just to make sure, you’re a girl, right? I, uh, have the translator, but still not good at alien gender thing.”
“What?! Of course not! I am a man! Why do people keep assuming I am a woman?!”
The gall! Those humans really do lack any senses at all! How are they even predators with eyes so blind?!
“Hah! Relax, man, it’s hard to tell with birds. Plus, you’re all blue and... You know. Pretty.” The human gestures at me! Gestures!
“I’ll- I’ll have you know, majority of krakotl are blue!”
“Yeah! That’s what makes it hard. All of you look all bright and colorful. And when I see a bright and colorful bird, my brain just goes ‘girl bird’. But don’t worry, I know better now with you.”
I couldn’t even manage out a response beyond an offended squawk at that. I opened my beak, prepared to launch into a calm and reasonable explanation, but a ping from my pad interrupted that train of thoughts. I quickly checked it to see a message from Lena asking where I am and that she’s ready to pick me up.
“Finally... I’ll be going now, human.”
“Just call me Bob, but sure, bud. Ever need someone to talk to, I visit this park regularly enough. And I bring bread regularly too.”
The human waved at me as I hopped off the bench and rushed towards the park entrance, while sending the location pin to Lena.
I didn’t have to wait too long there before the familiar looking vehicle arrived. I quickly approached, escaping the stares from humans passing by. Today has left me exhausted. Just rushing to the entrance left me short-breathed and at this point all the staring made me feel sick. Idea of coming back to my little nest in the attic of the house never felt more appealing. I climbed into the back seat of her vehicle, letting myself sprawl on the soft cushions. I felt exhausted and still short-breathed.
“So, I won’t ask about the therapy, privacy and everything, but what about that visit to the shelter? Did you get approved for education program?” Lena asked, starting to drive along the streets, not even turning her head towards me.
“Yeah... They said they’ll... Send schedule soon...”
Speaking was surprisingly hard. I think I overworked myself with all the walking today. I tried to take one extra deep breath only to be sent into a coughing fit. I let it happen but after a few coughs I realized it wasn’t stopping... I tried to force myself to stop the coughs, but taking a breath inbetween wheezes and coughs felt impossible.
“You alright back there—Shit!”
I saw that car suddenly veered and even felt something lurch as Lena parked on the side of the road, but for some reason I didn’t feel like I stopped moving even after we were still. I was still floating forward, carried by my fit of ragged breaths. Vision started going blurry as I saw Lena’s huge form looming over me, having entered the back of the vehicle.
“What did you even eat? Epipen, where’s your epipen?!”
Her voice rings a bit too much in my ears as I struggle to respond between breaths.
“My... what...?”
“You had one in your—Fuck! Hang on!”
Her shadow disappeared as she rushed back into her seat. I tilted my head to look over and saw her begin driving again, as she took her communicator out. Or at least I assume that’s what she did. Everything is growing faint to see.
“I am bringing an alien over. Allergic reaction, severe, get prepped. No, I don’t need an ambulance because I’m already on the way! Just find an alien expert and be ready!”
She seems angry... I wonder why. Allergic reaction? I haven’t eaten anything weird, have I? Maybe it’s just Intala’s wrath finally striking me down for all the crimes against the teachings. I wish I actually knew them... Would be nice to at least know specific tenets I broke. All of them if I had to guess...
Lena is saying something again, but I barely hear it. I think she’s addressing me. Maybe she’s asking if she can eat me when I die? I would allow her. She’s nice enough to deserve my life.
More than I do by now.
Her voice keeps ringing, but my translator seems to no longer keep up. My lungs are on fire, and my throat keeps trying to grab more air and failing. And despite it all, I just feel weak. And tired. The edges of my vision grow dark and darkness quickly spreads, taking everything over, and delivering onto me peace at last...
[Memory stream interrupted. Cause: Loss of consciousness. Fast forwarding transcription to next point of consciousness.]
First thing I felt upon waking up is pain. Like everything inside me was stabbing everything else inside of me.
Second thing I felt upon waking up was disappointment at realization that I couldn’t even die properly. Is Intala’s smite not strong enough to overcome modern medicine?
Third thing I felt upon waking up was hunger. Intense and ravenous. I don’t remember feeling that hungry ever before in my life, to the point where for a bit I was afraid I finally awakened my predator instinct and bloodlust.
Fourth thing I felt upon waking up was queasiness. That came as result of momentary consideration that I’d have to subsist on flesh now that my bloodlust has awakened and made me feel like puking. Except, of course, I was so hungry I just gagged instead.
Finally, I dared to open my eyes and look around. Seems like a hospital, though scale of equipment makes it obvious I’m in a human hospital. I can see that it’s already dark outside through the window, and the only light is the artificial one. Other than me, there’s only one other person in the room, sitting in a chair and scrolling through her pad with what seems like anxiety in her body language. That’s Lena.
I tried to shift a bit and take a better look around without disturbing her, but moving reminded me of how much my insides hurt and caused me to let out a groan, which instantly got her attention. She, in turn stared at me, before stepping to the door and beckoning someone from outside to come in. Quickly, she was joined by another human in a labcoat. Great.
“Ah. The patient is awake. You shouldn’t try talking, just nod or shake your head for now. Well, first of all, I’d like to congratulate you, young man. If not for your host’s speed, things might have been much worse. As it stands, you suffered no permanent damage as result of the allergic reaction, although the reaction was surprisingly severe.”
The doctor paused as if waiting for me to react. I felt too tired and pained to actually think about what he said, so I just nodded.
“Alright. So, obviously, you should carry an epipen on you at all times, the shelter should provide them for free. I believe they have but you didn’t realize what it’s for? Well, now you know. You were given an IV but we can’t really feed you after flushing your digestive tract, so you’ll need to bear with it until morning. By then you should be good to go, all you really need is rest and after that, a good meal. Don’t worry, no contaminants or ‘flesh’, we have our hospital food adapted for alien—”
“So, did you figure out what caused the reactions? Another doctor said they’d run a test.” Lena interrupted the doctor’s explanation. That was surprisingly rude for someone who should know medical command chains.
“Ah, that. Best we could gather it was some bread with a ton of animal protein in it. Pretty sure it was brioche, and that has a lot of eggs in it, so—”
You did it, you committed the worst sin, you consumed something made out of eggs.
I vomited. Somehow. There were no chunks or slush, just a small drizzle of stomach acid, but I had to expel something after that revelation. Even if none of that horrific bread actually was digested by me properly, the very fact that I consumed it... I vomited again. My throat burns and my insides hurt even more, but the nausea is receding somewhat.
As I refocus my senses, I see the doctor standing a good distance away, while Lena is wiping the aftermath of my attempt at vomiting with a towel.
“I think that’s a good sign that patient needs some rest,” human doctor suggested, motioning towards the door. “Now that he’s awake, we shouldn’t have to make any more exceptions for you to stay here.”
Lena nodded at him and turned back to me.
“Don’t worry, Krekos, I’ll come pick you up in the morning. You can explain then how the hell you even got your hands, or, well, wings on that stupid bread, and you’re also definitely getting a lecture on allergy safety, got it?”
Her stern tone. She isn’t messing around. Still even if I wanted to show more submission and try placating her, best I could manage is another weak nod. My throat hurt too much.
“Alright. Have a good night and don’t agitate yourself.” Lena said, as she stepped out of the room. The doctor simply nodded at me, before turning the lights off and following after, leaving me alone in the darkness of the hospital room.
I simply did my best to not think about the egg bread or the pain in my stomach, and focus on how exhausted I felt despite just waking up. Yeah. More rest sounds nice... Even if I am laying sprawled rather than properly nested... A rest sounds nice.
...hopefully Reginald was notified of me not returning tonight and remembered to herd the cattle for the night. I didn’t care for them, but I did care for them being my responsibility.
Just another thing to fail at.
As tiredness slowly took over me, I managed to slip into sleep once more, this time without suffocating to death. Yeah, this is definitely a much nicer way to pass out... Why did I even think otherwise...?
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Hey everyone,
I’m a GMAT tutor in Taiwan. For years, my students have been frustrated about running out of official practice questions. Some could even remember the official answer after reading the first sentence of a question. so I was thinking: is there a way to create completely new practice questions while maintaining the authenticity of official questions?
Good news—I have developed several GPT-powered tool called RC/CR simulator. You can try them here if you've subscribed GPT-plus:
https://chat.openai.com/g/g-KkWNuICXp-dustin-s-gmat-cr-question-simulator-beta
https://chat.openai.com/g/g-bHNdPM3Be-dustin-s-gmat-rc-question-simulator-w-q-beta
Upon receiving an official question, the GPTs learn the logic, concepts tested, structure, and answer patterns of that question, then swap out its content/theme with something entirely new. Thus GPTs can provide fresh questions analogous to the official ones for test-prepers to practice without any prior memory.
Moreover, these GPTs can generate targeted practice questions based on your weaknesses. For instance, if you are struggling with questions about archaeology, you can create a lot of questions, with the theme of archaeology, based on any official question that you have taken.
Also, if you gets some questions wrong, these GPTs can keep the logical structure intact but change the background story or the type of questions to see if you can solve them. This may help you more precisely identify whether the problem lies in your understanding of the story background, the logical reasoning, or the structure of the passage.
Hope this gives some inspiration to any test-proper struggling with verbal questions.

This story covers multiple adventures of Pathfinder 2nd Edition in which there was only one problem person and it was difficult for me to identify them as such.
I'll refer to him as Gary, not his real name, obviously. I never learned his actual name as these games took place anonymously over discord via voice chat.
Since this is a long one, I will break it down into parts and try keeping things organized according to the order of events that took place over several months.
Part 1: King Breaker
Shortly after completing the Beginner Box Adventure under one Game Master, I was hooked on the system and looked for more games to play.
Gary advertised a game for the Kingmaker adventure path in a PF2e discord channel. Gary accepted me as one of the players after I applied before he explained to everyone how the adventure does not support certain races and that those playable races are not allowed to be used for player characters.
Gary listed about a half dozen races, which may not seem like a lot to 5e players, but PF2e doesn't have an extensive list of playable races and it makes up for that with heritages unique to each race. Heritages are like how 5e handles different types of elves and tieflings.
Being new to PF2e and to TTRPG's in general, I did not think this too big of a deal. I know better now, and I also know that Kingmaker does actually allows players to play the races that Gary banned. The game suggests to the Game Master to make those choices interesting to reflect the politics of the setting. Gary, however, translated that as 'don't use these races because they are enemies of the state'.
Session 1 of Kingmaker went down relatively okay. However, at one point, Gary demanded we all declare an exploration activity. I told him that I wanted to open doors and explore rooms. He told me, "No, you can't open a door. That's not an Exploration Activity."
I was confused and frustrated; so, I asked, "Okay, what can I do then?"
Gary was right and wrong at the same time. Opening a door is not listed as an Exploration Activity in the rules, but nothing in the rules explicitly stops a character from opening a door while exploring. And, "exploring an area" to find out what and who is there is not an Exploration Activity listed in the rules either. But! There is Searching, an Exploration Activity that allows characters to try to find out what and who is in an area.
It was whatever, honestly, just a matter of semantics I believe Gary handled poorly. I definitely learned about Exploration Activities during the ONLY instance Gary demanded we declare them. And the first session ended with the party killing a bunch of bandits.
Before session 2 came around, one of Gary's relatives. who I will call Barry, who was a player in the game quits. They quit because Gary excitedly projected their perspective of Barry's character onto them.
Barry asked Gary not to do that. Gary disregarded the request. He dismissed Barry's concerns as not being a big deal and proceeded to defend himself as having done nothing wrong. Barry asked him not to do it and demanded an apology. Gary refused, insisting he did nothing wrong. So, Barry quit but not before warning the rest of the party that Gary always does things like this.
To quote South Park, we didn't listen . . . more accurately, I didn't listen.
I thought Barry was blowing things out of proportion and that they were being an asshole. I lacked context that I honestly didn't want or need. But, in hindsight, I suspect Barry may have experienced worse from Gary in the past and that them joining may have been them giving Gary another chance. I don't know and I don't need to know.
Speculation aside, Gary brought on a new player to replace Barry at the same time that I convinced a friend of mine to join. But my friend ended up becoming too busy to make more than one session and left.
Another player left shortly after and Gary brought on another player after that.
Gary became audibly annoyed with this latest new guy in voice over something so utterly inconsequential that I cannot even remember what it was about and so, that player quit.
All these people who quit all basically said the same thing. That work or some other real life obligation made it impossible for them to continue playing.
I now suspect many of these players quit because they didn't like Gary and I can see why.
The thing about Gary is that he is an incredible story teller. He is absolutely committed to the in game world and the elements, including the people, in it. And he does a great job narrating all of it. He even has a talent for voice acting. But that is the extent of his positive qualities as a Game Master.
Gary has a very high opinion of himself and he treats his players as expendable and easily replaced audience members at worst and actors in his story at best.
Gary often disregards the wants of his players in favor of adhering to the rules as written 99% of the time. Which ironically means he disregards the most important rule of the game, which is to try to let everyone involved have fun. 9/10 times a player asked Gary if they could do something, he said No.
Gary is also full of himself. His approach to the game is basically 'My table, my rules. Don't like it, leave'. There is no room for negotiation with him. And this attitude reflected in conversations having nothing to do with the game.
We would sometimes talk about random topics in chat and voice our personal preferences on certain things. Gary, without joking, often told someone, 'You're wrong'. He considered anyone who didn't like what he liked, wrong. And this is someone who demands everyone around him accepts him for who he is and what he likes or fuck off.
Anyway, for someone so fixated on the rules, Gary later revealed that despite wanting to run Kingmaker, he had not actually prepared to run Kingmaker.
Kingmaker is an adventure that emphasizes exploration and settlement management. The player's guide for Kingmaker is the largest player's guide of any adventure I have ever seen because most of it lists and details how to make and manage a kingdom and the stages and progression involved in doing it.
Gary never bothered reading those rules until AFTER it was time for the party to establish a foundling kingdom.
Oh, and, another important aspect about Kingmaker is the fact that the game is over if the players' Kingdom falls.
We reached a point where Gary just didn't want to run Kingmaker. He thought we the players weren't interested in running a kingdom and he was kind of right.
I was initially excited by the prospect of making and running a kingdom in game. It sounded cool, it does sound cool. But Gary made it not fun by constantly telling the players No. We couldn't really make anything of our kingdom because 'da rulez'. He insisted on making the process as mechanically and robotically lifeless as possible.
For kingdom management, Gary had us spend hours in a session taking turns picking officially listed things we could do, rolling dice, and adjusting the Kingdom sheet according to the results as if we were playing shitty bowling. Yay . . .
I kept playing because I enjoyed the encounters Gary made and provided. When we were actually playing a game that involved Role Play, Exploration, AND Combat, it was mostly fun. And if being a rules lawyer game master was Gary's only flaw then there would have been no issues.
After another player quit Gary announced that he was cancelling the adventure. The number of players who left destroyed his desire to continue at that point. He announced wanting to host another AP, Strength of Thousands. It's an adventure about joining a prestigious magic school and investigating and solving mysterious and deadly problems at the school. Think Harry Potter, but the magic school is in some fantasy version of Africa and also has fantasy creatures attending it.
Everyone remaining the group except for me bailed.
Part 2: Strength of None
I wanted to continue playing with Gary. I had, at the time, mistaken his ego, cockiness, and the very abrasiveness that made him so unapproachable to others for confidence in himself.
Strength of Thousands began and everyone involved was excited for it. And Gary almost seemed to learn to be a little less strict on the rules. Strength of Thousands demands players pick Wizard or Druid as a class or dedication (dedications are PF2e's method of multi classing without breaking the system). Gary allowed us to pick any caster class or dedication for our characters for them to qualify for the adventure.
One player announced needing to go AFK in the middle of the first session. They promised to return as soon as they could. They never returned to the session, however. And Gary kicked them without giving them a chance to explain what happened. He just automatically assumed the worst of them and kicked them before looking for someone else to play.
At one point, an adventure quest required the party tell some NPC's all we learned and experienced in our first week at the school. We thought we were supposed to role play. Instead, the GM declared we were failing to entertain the NPC's, strongly hinting that a Performance check was required.
Frustrated, annoyed, and as someone playing a bard, I dejectedly declared, "Okay, I'll roll Performance. I might be boring, but my character isn't boring." Thinking back on that moment, I realize just how much of a jerk Gary can be at times.
Most groups enjoy my characters. So, no, I am not boring, but Gary's toxicity in that moment made me think less of myself as I put those negative thoughts into words.
Another player quit shortly after that, saying nothing that I hadn't heard before. Real life stuff and schedule conflicts. Gary brought on another player shortly after.
It wasn't long before I finally decided to quit Gary's game, but that choice also involved a game I decided to try hosting for my game masters at the time as a personal thank you to them.
Part 3: Foul
At one point, I started running the adventure path, Gatewalkers . . .
Ah, Gatewalkers. I hate it. As much as I love PF2e, buyer beware! Gatewalkers is falsely advertised as a paranormal investigation in which the only mystery is . . . Where the hell is the plot? It contains disjointed side quests that randomly drag the party everywhere and all over for no reason and features a chosen one DMPC for two-thirds of an official publication that the party must protect at all costs in order to help realize the DMPC's destiny of saving the world.
Tangent aside, Gary was among the people I invited to play my game and he was grateful to me for it.
Two of my players quit and agreed to kick me from their game in which I had been a player for months. These two, in particular, didn't like my narrative style as a host or my role play as a player. They wanted to hack and slash their way through adventures in a series of combat encounters.
So, I found a couple replacements within a week of them quitting. One of the new players ended up quitting. Their lawful good paladin didn't fit the party. The character wasn't the dreadful lawful stupid type. The character reluctantly idled while the party did things they didn't like and they never tried forcing the party to do anything. The character just wasn't a good fit and the player had other obligations.
When I announced my search for another player, one of my players, who I will call, Mr. Owl, revealed that they also hosted PF2e and knew of a good player for the game. Mr. Owl is an amazing player and I can only imagine that he is also an amazing game master. He has been and continues being a great help in my ongoing attempts at hosting PF2e.
So, I interviewed this potential player and let him join. This latest player, I will call Mario, is an absolute delight in my games. Mario also made me recognize Gary's toxicity.
In chat, I mentioned how I allow just about any character build in my game within relative reason.
I am not going to go as far as allow home brew or third party content in my games, but I also refrain from banning official content no matter how rare or what a player's guide may say isn't a good fit. I prioritize player enjoyment above all else. And I will do my best to enable that through adjustments as needed.
Someone, it might have been me, mentioned how the party had lost its last two Champions. Mario jokingly suggested playing a joke character he came up with a while ago. A basketball player from Italy who somehow ended up in another world where he obtained champion powers. I laughed at the idea and half-jokingly told him that if that was what he wanted to play, he could.
Everyone was fine with the idea . . . except for Gary.
Gary privately messaged me when Mario went through with making the character. Gary told me that he did not agree with my choice and that he planned on leaving the game if he deemed Mario too much. Gary assured me that I was still welcome to play his game and that he would not make me choose between him or Mario.
Regardless, I honestly felt hurt. But I kept calm and assured Gary that I would talk to Mario if they proved disruptive with this joke character.
I am already sensing judgment from people who might be wondering why I even allowed the joke character.
The answer to that is simple. What a character is does not make them a problem. A character can be evil, chaotic, a joke, or whatever else and still function. And it likely will function because by allowing it to exist, I am enabling a player to express themselves creatively.
I experienced more stress and anxiety on the day of Mario's debut in the party than I should because I was operating under the threat of a player rage quitting. I shoved the negative thoughts aside and hosted a successful session. Mario kept his jokes minimal and exhibited quality awareness for appropriate times when to joke. He otherwise played his character as anyone ought to when using a champion, in defense of his allies to help keep them alive and force enemies to make the hard choice of either attacking the tank or attacking the tank's allies and being punished for it. After, Gary messaged me that he was okay with Mario.
Next session came up and I hoped for good things going forward. The party ended up in an encounter involving fighting a monster while crossing a river. Gary decided to do almost nothing in the encounter. If any one of his actions failed, he ended his turn, audibly expressing disinterest in doing anything. It wouldn't be the last time he did this.
Gary made bad jokes about wanting his character to die so that he could play something else, but no one found it funny. I contacted him privately and asked if he wanted to build and play something else. He never really gave me a straight answer until after his character nearly died in a session that ended with the party managing to defeat a tough enemy and heal back up.
I offered to retcon Gary's character being saved, but he finally confirmed that he wanted to keep playing his character.
Later, in Strength of Thousands, Gary got into a heated argument with a player who was having technical difficulties with their microphone that kept picking up some amount of background noise. Gary told them to use Push to Talk, the player said that they couldn't. Gary called them out on that and told them either fix the issue or leave.
Gary may have been in the right, but he sounded more aggressive than ever before. And Gary honestly made himself appear equally at fault. He had called out the new player in earshot of everyone else involved instead of discussing the matter in private. He ultimately made an awkward and uncomfortable situation even more awkward and uncomfortable.
After that session, I seriously started considering quitting the game because I was not having fun in it anymore for many reasons I traced back to Gary.
Players would ask to do things, Gary would almost always say No.
Most of what we could do was hidden behind dice rolls that if we didn't figure out, we missed out or we missed out if we didn't roll high enough.
And combat was made super not fun with Gary demanding everyone know what they want to do on their turns and do those things or end up skipped.
Instead of having engaging combats, we were all subjected to a stress-and-anxiety-filled experience that, ironically, made deciding what we wanted to do harder.
Meanwhile, back in my game, Mario had some real life stuff come up that meant he had to skip a session. And, when that session arrived, I had made a terrible mistake . . .
I was not adequately prepared for the session. I had to end the session early as a result. That was entirely my bad for which I have no excuse.
Gary decided to seize that moment to ask the other players what they thought of Mario's character. He openly expressed his negative thoughts and feelings and actually used the R word to describe another player's creative content and contribution.
He said this while I was still in the call. He said this while Mr. Owl, one of Mario's ACTUAL friends was still in the call.
Gary decided to insult another player without them even being present for it, one of my players, someone who actively supports and appreciates me as their game master to this day. Gary insulted me as a game master by continuing to question and object to my final decision on the matter after he and I were supposed to have resolved whatever issues he had.
Up until that point, Gary had not been a problem player. He had been a manageable player.
Part of my preparation to host TTRPG's was watching and reading TTRPG Horror Stories in order to better identify and neutralize threats to me, my players, my games, and my groups.
Gary had become a problem, and I made the executive decision to remove him from my game.
. . . I also quit his game.
Part 4: Epilogue
I feared how my group would react. I do not enjoy kicking players and, after I did it, I seriously questioned and doubted my choice.
I reached out to a friend outside of the group who I will call Sage. He has decades of experience at being a game master. I told him what I did and asked him if I had done the right thing. I honestly felt terrible.
Sage told me that Gary sounds like someone who lacks sympathy, empathy, and social awareness, and is someone who might not ever experience guilt or remorse or apologize for doing wrong. Sage told me that little to no good would come from keeping someone like that around. And he told me that the fact I felt bad is a natural part of having sympathy and empathy, qualities that every game master should have.
After my private talk with Sage, I explained to my group why I made the decision I made with as few details that I felt they needed. I told them that I had not made the decision lightly. I told them that Gary had been expressing toxic tendencies prior that had made me consider quitting his game. And I told them that ever since I thought of becoming a game master, I resolved to never allow a problem player to ruin a game for other players and that I would not tolerate or permit toxic behavior between my players.
My table, however virtual it might be, is a safe space and I intend to keep it that way.
Some of players expressed some concern and worry, but they assured me that they would trust me and continue playing. Mario, bless him, helped lighten the mood by remarking, 'But my character is a stupid idea, even I know that.'
And, as luck would have it, Mr. Owl, Mario, and the two other awesome players from that group continue enjoying me as their game master even months after I ejected Gary from our group.
And, to this day, Gary is the only player I have ever kicked from any of my games.
TLDR: A self-absorbed game master of Pathfinder 2nd Edition prioritized his narrative and the rules over player enjoyment while neglecting players by viewing and treating them as expendable and replaceable nobodies.
The game master prematurely ended one adventure after many of his players quit and tried hosting another in which he kicked a player. Another of his players quit while he became even more insufferable towards the people who tolerated him enough to try playing his game.
I tried being nice to him by inviting him to play one of my games as a thank you for hosting. He later disrespected me and an absent player for the player's character choice and he did it in group chat. So, I finally quit playing his game and kicked him from mine.
And players from my group continue enjoying me as their game master.

EDIT: Look, I’m gonna be real here. First, thank you to everyone in the comments who actually just talked and bantered with me, and also to those who brought up points I didn’t see or realize through posting this! Some people who comment have came off very angry and/or amazed why I would even “ask the question” or “bring this up,” so I’m gonna stop replying on this post. I personally worded my post wrong, and clearly didn’t emphasize or portray the fact well enough that I simply wanted to talk, and that I’m not trying to say Emrakul Version 1.0 needed to be banned or become unbanned. I just wanted to bring up something and talk with others who enjoy this game as much as I do, as nobody who lives near or close to me really wants to have or likes the game enough to have in depth conversations of the “What If” scenarios or hypotheticals of banned cards. I’m not gonna apologize for wanting to start a discussion, but I will apologize for posting this late at night last night when I was half awake and my brain was not running on all cylinders.
Hey all! So, I’m a VERY passionate fan of the Eldrazi titans and their spawns. For some back story, I had been throwing around the idea of playing MTG in 2021-2022 due to some friends and family getting into the game. Upon seeing the Alternate Art version of Ulamog, the Infinite Gyre, I immediately purchased it (back when it was $70 Near Mint) and decided “If I can use this as my commander? I’ll play.” It sounded so brutal and the art looked phenomenal, so I’ve been playing and hooked ever since and my love for Eldrazi has not wavered in the slightest.
Now, upon finding out this iteration of Emrakul was banned in Commander, I was confused. Then upon reading the card itself, when I was brand new to the game I said, “Hey yeah okay, that deserves to be banned. I would never wanna play that against another player.” - Fast forward to 2024. All of the Modern Horizons 3 (“spoilers” and officially released card images) Eldrazi stuff has made my dark little eldritch heart beat so hard it grew three sizes bigger today as I learned of all of the rumored and officially announced new Eldrazi support we will be receiving in the new set. That, and me buying a copy of Emrakul, the Aeons Torn today for my personal collection got me thinking… ya’ know what…
…why is Emrakul still banned; or at the least why has this iteration of her been banned and remained there without even the thought of a text box ability being changed OR simply given an errata? Look, I know and understand the evil that can be done with this single piece of beautiful, majestic, and plane-destroying piece of cardboard. I get it, my mind has been thinking of all the wacky and totally unfair combos that I want to promise my personal pod I would never once in my life pull on them if they allow me to play this in the 99 of my Eldrazi EDH deck. But in reality, this feels…so much more tame compared to some of the combos and moves friends have used against me in games where the power levels of their decks were obviously much stronger than mine; let alone the nasty and oppressive combos you can legally churn out in Commander on a regular basis.
The card Emrakul, the Aeons Torn was banned back in 2010, which was before many other EDH staples for different archetypes (that still piss my playgroup off way more than this Emrakul would in my opinion!) such as either form of Ghalta for a Dinosaur Tribal EDH deck were even thought about.
Either way, I’m sorry for the novel, my ADHD really hit the ground running with this one. I’m genuinely just trying to spark some talk about the feelings I have with other people on both sides of that proverbial fence. I get both sides of the argument when it comes to this card, it just feels like something I personally would never flinch too hard at when it is on the field because my playgroup either has answers for it more often than not, other cards could be deemed even more destructive and oppressive when manipulated since it’s 2024 and the game is so much different, OR I could think of legal combos or cards nowadays that are just as crazy when manipulated in ways this card would.
TL;DR: Felt like sparking a conversation with other people who love EDH because I wanna play Emrakul, the Aeons Torn and I’d honestly even go to the extent of trying to find a way to reason for or appeal to the thought of giving this thing a more fair feeling errata for the community if it would be taken seriously with an honest eye. If not, big whoop, I’ll carry on life normally.

Hi all. I don't know if this post belongs here but I'm not too sure where else to post. If there's a better subreddit, please send me in that direction
My dad [62, male] died of his first and only heart attack six months ago. He was 5'11", 220 lbs, long term smoker. Only adding this so it's not removed. I don't doubt that his unhealthy life style lead to heart disease.
The official cause of death being cardiomegaly. The coroner also mentioned heart disease. This honestly came out of left field as my dad had no history of cardiac issues. His blood pressure and heart rate were lower than average. However, for the past 7ish years he suffered from vertigo, nausea, and intense bouts of illness if he ate certain things or ate too late. In hindsight, these run congruent with heart disease.
Additionally, I know heart disease is one of the leading causes of death rn and he had pretty much every symptom except for high blood pressure and heart rate. He was a life long smoker, so shortness of breath definitely ran congruent with the symptoms, but he still had the vertigo and sickness. Is it that unlikely that a doctor wouldn't postulate that maybe it could be something with the heart if after 7+ years of testing, nothing could be found wrong with his stomach?
He saw several doctors and specialists, had numerous medical tests done, to see what the issue was. As far as everyone knew, this was a gastrointestinal issue. He's had endoscopies, CT scans, and many, many bloodtests.
While I can understand how heart disease/cardiomegaly can fly under the radar when you're looking for a stomach problem, I don't understand how he had so many bloodtests and not one indicated some issue regarding the heart. I imagine there'd at least be something wrong with the total/red blood count. But I'm not too familiar with medical labs or reading blood results.
So, there are three possible answers I guess. 1. I'm reaching, standard bloodtests can't indicate heart disease and/or stomach problems can also fuck with rbc/tbc

1. My dad had the most incompetent of doctors
   
2. My dad knew he had heart disease, but didn't tell anyone.
   

Tldr: dad died from a sudden heart attack brought by cardiomegaly and heart disease, with no known heart issues despite having numerous lab tests done within the past 7+ years.
I'm just looking for answers I guess. His death was extremely sudden, and the cause was very surprising. Something about the whole situation never sat quite right with me, but I'm no expert and I'm looking for more knowledgeable answers before I try to speak to his doctors and the coroner again.
Thanks