Money talks full eppisode

So I have posted before about my reaction to perceived threat in my life, burn it all down and run like hell. I always thought that was rooted in my experiences and things that happed after TTI. Came to a rather uncomfortable realization last night.
Neither my wife nor I have ever owned a home. We've been together just over 12 years, married for 10, always renters.
Yesterday, I signed the paperwork to buy a house. More money than I have ever borrowed.
After, we started talking about home and permanency. I started feeling a little anxious. I told my wife I wasn't actually sure how to define that other than home to me is wherever she is.
That led me to the realization that I didn't remember ever living anywhere in my life for more than a few years. The anxiety increased and I started feeling it body wide.
Then I felt that odd out of body (almost) feeling I get when the depersonalization dissociation hits.
Nearly had a complete breakdown. At the exact time this happened I received a priority 1 page out from work. lol you cannot make this shit up.
The only way I was able to calm and get through this was another survivor.
T, you are my brother from another mother dude. I cannot thank you enough for being there for me and talking me off that ledge. 🫂🫶❤️
I also think as a result of that convo I made serious progress in defining for myself what self compassion and nurturing actually look like.
I seriously was not expecting that landmine from buying a house. Damn this shit runs deep.
And the reparenting saga continues...

Client sent me a YouTube short from some plumbing marketing egotistical guru goober talking about how is million dollar company posts 2 times a day on social media five days a week. Currently I post three times a week for this client. If I do 2 times a day five days a week, this would increase my productivity by 233%
I get $600 per month (before taxes) from this client for my current schedule of 3 posts a week. 95% of the time I am making the content myself the other 5% is him sending me photos from the work completed.
I don’t mind doing twice a day, five days a week I just need to get paid for it. If I go by the percentage of increase in productivity and apply to my pay, I’d be asking for about $2000 per month.
Does that seem like a fair price? To me it does. Maybe even less than what I really think I deserve. I worked for multi million dollar company and we paid a shit social media company $1500 a month to post three times a week and the posts were pretty awful with absolutely zero design skills and way off brand
Another problem I have is, I told him in the beginning If I’m creating a majority of the content it’s going to be 1200 a month, but if you send me photos and video throughout the month to give me something to work with it’ll be $600. He chose the cheaper route but after a month of that, he basically stopped sending me content so I’m doing the $1200 tier for $600.
I apologize for the long word-vomit. What’s a good way of asking this guy for an increase without coming off as a money hungry hobo and do you think that’s fair pricing?
TL;DR I want to propose an increase in my fee from $600 to $2000 per month due to a significant increase in social media posting frequency (from 3 posts a week to 2 posts a day, 5 days a week), which raises my workload by 233%. The client also hasn’t upheld his end of providing content, making the current workload align with a higher pay tier. I believe the increase is fair given my experience and market rates, and I'm seeking advice on how to request this raise professionally.

Actually he is my uncle but he has been the father figure since I was around 10. I'm 23 now.
So I did something (cooked some onion) and he commented about how "that's not how it's done". I thought it was (mistakenly so) so I said "it is done like this". He repeats himself and so do I two or three times, after which he was getting visibly angry. Just his face, he was actually containing it, which was apparent.
But this was enough to trigger me (if you wish to know why this was triggering there's a recent post about it on my profile, trigger warning for physical violence and humiliation). He started to leave after doing some explaining and when he was walking away I said smt like "you're already getting crazy!" (Which in our language sounds kinda worse but idk how to translate) Meaning the visible anger on his face that triggered me was overreacting to me just contradicting him. Supposedly, me just bluntly replying "yes it's done like this" is provocative.
Anyways after hearing that he comes back and gets in my face. He wasn't going to hit me, that's "in the past", but he feinted and I turned my head, expecting a hit. Somehow we ended up talking for like two hours, there were many points we both wanted to get across to the other and I doubt there was much mutual understanding , but what's relevant to this post is that he made it known that things would be "worse" if I ever spoke to him like that. That he would beat me if I called him an idiot.
He showed me how he has been containing himself all this time, and that even know after saying you're going crazy he didn't hit me. That's true.
He said he really hates being offended. He told me that one time when he asked a worker that was doing stuff in our house for something, the dude just turned his back to him and my dad screamed so loudly the dude was startled. Like did a little jump.
I'm like: you think that's good for your health? You've been containing your temper lately, you think it's good? Repressing it even further will only make it worse in the long run and you will stop being so effective at restraining yourself when you want to. He seems to think he knows a thing or two about psychology so he replied with condescension at my suggestion that he needs to fix the anger issues instead of just controlling himself when they arise. Whatever.
It sucks. What's even worse is that most lf the time he is normal. Like 999/1000 times. Our baseline is good terms right now. But my subconscious still remembers, I haven't unpacked all those things yet. I don't like knowing that my father would beat me up for offending him. I don't like not saying something to him (even if it is calling him stupid) only because of fear of physical responses.
I told him many things, like how it sucks fearing my own father and he said "don't provoque me then".I painted a hypothetical situation in which I called him an idiot to ask him what would happen if he didn't react in an aggressive/violent manner, he replied and finished with "but better never call me that". I was like "wouldn't you stop to think why would your son call you that? Why would anybody call their dad that way if everything was good? Or why I said you were getting crazy?" And whatever the fuck his reply was to that it probably boiled down to "you have no business saying those things". Sure, calling someone an idiot isn't good. Focus on that. .
My repressed emotions to his attitude all this years were there in the conversation. I kept stopping because the knot in my throat wouldn't let me talk, tears on my eyes. This didn't seem to communicate anything to him.
I wonder what I'll do when I get stronger than him. I'd be so tempted to start something just to show him he can't overpower me anymore. I wouldn't even hit him, just restrain him and faking a hit just so he sees what it feels like. Even then, I don't think it compares to an adult doing that to a kid or teenager. He has heart issues though, and as much as I wish for payback, I feel like his rage would be so much worse after being restrained that his heart could worsen (also I understand revenge makes no real sense, forgive them Father for they not what they do, if he could understand he would).
Anyway. We hadn't had an altercation like this in a while, and it's the first time I actually said something like that to him. He won't hit me if I don't insult him. But his intimidating nature is still present at times, for example when I don't listen to him and stubbornly oppose him (it happens sometimes but I only with him, surprised?) And knowing he can get like violent or just verbally aggressive doesn't make the "good times" worth it. He is a "good charismatic person" basically all the time except when these things happen. But I'm at odds with the fact that if I ever fail to contain my subconscious resentment to him and call him something (motherfucker, idiot, stupid high-iq but low-eq controlling dumbfuck) I'll get beat up. I understand that healing is on me to stop walking on eggshells when he is around, but I'm starting to dislike him on a more conscious level now. Which is confusing too because everytime I've brought this up to my mother, she seemed to understand part of how I was feeling, but ultimately it boiled down to "he's family and will catch a bullet for you, will always drop anything he is doing when we need help". WHICH IS TRUE BUT I DON'T CARE
AITAH for wanting to keep interactions with him at the bare minimum?
EDIT: I'd love to move out. I live with my mom, grandma and grandpa. He lives in the city and comes by 1/2/3 times a week, frequently spending the night or two. I still love them, and especially my mom and her parents, but being able to fuck off whenever I need to without resorting to going some place or park would be great. But I can't. I'd put an extremely tough burden on my mom, she'd have no live left: she works a lot, grandpa is getting very old but main thing is taking care of my grandma, there are some things like lifting her that only I can do because grandpa is too old and uncle can't due to some tendon issues on his arms. Besides the option to start earning a metric shitload of money to retire her and be able to afford 24/7 elderly care personnel, do you have any ideas about how to approach this?
EDIT: at some point he brought up the "how much love we gave you" situation. Now here is what disturbs me. It's true, I've been given tons of love, patience, opoortunities, the works, not only from the rest of the family but from him as well. So I imagine myself as a parent that loves their kid so much, and then I imagine myself intimidating him because he called me crazy, or hitting him because he didn't listen and did something different from what we had agreed on, behind my back, for the millionth time. It feels wrong, it feels ignorant. I'd be wondering why the fuck does my son agree to do a certain thing and when it comes time to it, he does a different one. I'd start thinking about why he keeps lying about school grades, failing to pass the year even when he sees how bad it stresses his mother out... Instead of hitting him in the face with a closed fist (but hey, it wasn't full force!!) because he keeps lying and driving his mom crazy.
But hey, that's me. I'm "not the one to teach him about psychology"

I’m 29.
Backstory - Mom and dad separated when I was 6. Brother and I were allowed to see dad on weekends but dad was hardly ever around because he was addicted to drugs. He lived with my grandma so we really spent the time with her and my uncle and aunt. My dad didn’t get sober and his shit together until I was around 16. By this time the relationship was hardly there. Today I see him on holidays and family stuff, and he checks in, but we definitely don’t have a real father daughter relationship. He married about 6 years ago and the woman has 4 daughters.
Side note / He owed my mom about $40,000 in child support for me and he was paying it and my mom was giving me the money every month. Before he got married he asked my mom if she would write off the child support because it was messing with him being eligible to buy. She hesitated cause she was like that money helps your daughter. He promised he would continue to help me. So she wrote it off but I never saw any help lol
So he was able to buy his house and give his wife and his new kids everything they want (yes I’m salty)
So today I was talking to my mom about how it’s hard for me and my husband to find a new place to live. Our current apt is really old and we’ve had a bad roach problem we can’t get control of. Unfortunately our credit isn’t too good so it’s been hard trying to find a place that would accept us and that’s in our budget. My mom suggested getting a co signer and said my dad. I said no way I’m asking him he’ll say no anyways. I asked to borrow money about 6 months ago and he said no.
She took it upon herself and called him and asked him. He said he couldn’t or something and that he had to do something for his wife’s daughter. My mom lost it and started telling him how he’s never done anything for me or my brother but he does everything for her daughters. I don’t blame my mom because it’s all true.
My dad texted me and was like what’s going on your mom is tripping. I told him that I wasn’t even planning on asking him so idk why she told you anything. But this whole thing brought up other feelings that I’ve had for a long time now.
It hurts me and makes me jealous that his step daughters are getting the dad we never had. They have a nice house, he buys them cars, throws parties, takes them to Disney land, goes on trips, does things for them that I never got. And it’s not just the financial aspect either. He spends time with them and has more of a parent/kid relationship than I’ve ever had.
And I don’t think his wife likes me or my brother either. She always “forgets” to invite us to parties and gatherings that they have. Like twice my dad has texted me like are you coming tomorrow? And I’m like to what. He’s like oops she must have forgot. Last weekend they had something for Mother’s Day and my aunt asked me days before if I was going I was like to what I didn’t get invited. My dad invited me the night before..
I feel like telling him these things but idk if it’s dumb because I’m an adult now. Like should I be upset that he’s doing things for his step kids. Idk? But it’s not like he ever puts in any effort in trying to have a relationship with me or my brother too.

TL;DR: Partner of 5 years and I started dating soon after his parent’s death, which defined his 20s. Now 30, he is facing delayed grief and isn’t sure who he’ll be once he redefined himself post-grief. We love each other dearly and have had five happy years, but he is unsure if he will be have the emotional capacity or energy for a relationship after this processing. This is terrifying to me because I love him and our partnership, but I want to know how to be there for him without pressuring him about the relationship’s future, and also ask if anyone has experienced what he thinks could happen to him.
My partner lose a parent to cancer 5.5 years ago, after a long battle with cancer that took up the bulk of his early-mid 20s. We met 3 months after his parent died and started dating 3 months after that. He spoke openly about his emotions and shared his experiences, and we both assumed over time that he was healing. Over the 5 happy years of our relationship, he spoke of the loss but felt he was managing it really well. He was also very busy doing an intense postgrad course and working full time, there was covid, illnesses etc. He finished uni late last year and in the new year he’s had mental space for the first time, and out of nowhere he was hit with anxiety and grief that he didn’t expect. He’s seeing a counsellor for delayed grief and is making really good progress, and is taking care of himself with exercise and diet. I’m trying to help as best I can by listening, supporting, and giving him space and comfort when needed. He has realised through therapy that he was a carer to a dying parent for five years, and then stayed in that mindset subconsciously for the next 5 after death. It has exhausted him and he is finally laying down the burden to be perfect and stoic for those he loves. He has worked out that all his reference points were frozen by the crisis and he now needs to reconstruct himself anew.
Over these 5 years of happiness, things were very easy for the two of us. We were fully committed to a future together but were also taking it slow because it mattered to us. Never once did either of us doubt we would work out or waver in our commitment. I live with depression and anxiety and only had one bad period for about a month, during which he was my rock. I take responsibility for myself with therapy and medication, but he has never had an experience of this before. When I told him I’d previously had suicidal ideation in my early 20s, he (has since realised) he subconsciously took on the role of not bringing up his struggles out of fear of losing me like he did his parent. Neither if us knew this was happening subconsciously, and I have since affirmed to him that I want to hear all his issues, and don’t expect him to be a carer for me at all. However, what we didn’t do over these 5 years is build the pathways to have hard conversations about his mental health. I wrongfully assumed that because I had been open about mine he knew he could do the same. He is a very talkative and gregarious person and I also didn’t want to bring him down if he seemed happy. I’ve said many times lately that I want to build these pathways to have these discussions openly in future and we have been doing so.
A few weeks into his therapy process he asked to talk about us, and said that he had felt so emotionally drained lately that he wanted to warn me that there is a risk after all this restructuring of himself that he might be too emotionally drained permanently from the grief, once it is fully processed, to be the kind of person who can give me the love and support I need in a relationship. He said the intellectual and friendship elements would always be there but that he may be a ‘husk’ of a new person at the end of all this, or someone who has decided to close off certain emotions as a permanent form of self-sufficiency. He said he knows how loving I am and that I am someone who is anxious and wants security, and that he can no longer promise me that because he doesn’t know who he’ll be at the end of this.
I feel so selfish for being worried for my relationship during this period of his own grieving, especially as it’s delayed. I also feel so guilty that my previous mental health issues took a toll on him that I never intended and he didn’t realise until now. We both want this to work long term and develop healthier communication where he isn’t subconsciously in carer mode with me. But I am so fearful of losing him that I can’t think straight, and I know that now is the time for him to be selfish and put his own mental needs first. He is comfortable that he is not dealing with depression, and largely feels either mourning or numb or just fatigued from the work of this processing. I feel intense anxiety and depression at the fear of this ending, which has shown me that I have a lot to work on in therapy myself outside of this whole thing. I guess my question is - for people here who have faced grief - especially delayed - did you end up with less emotional capacity for romantic partnerships afterwards? Was it temporary? How did you recreate yourself post-grief or post-caring? And how can I put my worries aside when I need to be there for him and give him space to heal, mourn, and restructure himself?

Hi, I just finished watching the series Ripley and I would like to share some opinions with you (there will be spoilers).
So, I really liked the series, at least until 2-3 episodes from the end. In the first half, I loved the style, the slow images, the black and white, the tension and suspense of a film noir, and the composition of the images in terms of objects and subjects. I liked that the series, for the first time or at least in rare cases, had actors speaking in English if they were American, otherwise all in Italian since it is set there, but with some devices where, for example, some Italians speak fluent English. In short, I was loving it, but by the last episode, I couldn't stand it much anymore and it saddens me because it's a series with style. I believe that some narrative problems already seen in the early episodes, as the episodes went on, grew considerably, leading to a rushed finale with many small lines opened and closed hastily and with several errors.
For example (I'm not going in order, but as they come to mind):
Marge: I just don't get her. She seems extremely in love with Dickie, but in the end, she starts flirting with Tom (completely unnecessary) and becomes stupid in her behavior. You'd expect her to have doubts (she was warned, she didn't get along with him) and to play a double game to understand who Tom was, but instead, she was genuinely infatuated with Tom and completely forgot about Dickie. I really don't understand this huge change in personality.
Dickie and Tom: Why did Dickie, if he wanted to get rid of Tom, take him alone in the middle of the sea on a boat 1500 km away? Did he want to get himself killed? You don't trust someone and you go together to an isolated place, without a reason?
The detective: He's a character I love, well-realized and wonderfully portrayed by the actor. Serious, intelligent, shrewd, and likable. Then he gets to the last episode and even he loses depth. An intelligent detective, who looks at details, who notices everything and makes appropriate conjectures and connections: he didn't want to personally verify Tom's passport, he never requested an investigation of his apartment (being a suspect) of Tom or Dickie, and on top of that, he goes all the way to Venice, sees Tom in person and doesn't question the fact that this man uses a wig, has the same voice as Tom and the same features as if he were his brother (light or no light, he shook his hand five centimeters from his face)? None of this makes sense. Moreover, he was looking for him so much, they gave him false leads, saying he was in Rome, he checked all the hotels, and when he meets him he doesn't solve the case by asking him in which hotel he had stayed after looking for him so much? Verify, don't find him, know he is lying. Instead, no. Then, why does he believe the boat story when the boat keeper had filed a report the same day? And what explanation does he give to a boat with blood and full of rocks that had been stolen?
Why does Tom buy six train tickets when he returns from Palermo?
The private detective arrives in grand style from America, already knows him, knows he is a scammer who changes identity, and when he talks to him believes everything Tom says, but what did he also get hit on the head?
In the last episode, all tension is lost, every scene that should make us jump out of our seats leads nowhere but to a dead end and a scene that is overcooked.
John Malkovich: Where did he come from? Casually in the last 20 minutes of the series, he goes to a dinner and he is also the stranger who always changes identity. What, two playmates found each other there by chance and without ever talking about it, they understand each other about what they do for a living?
In the entire series, no one ever saw a photo of Dickie? Even when they were on the table and at home?
The bank makes all that fuss from America for a false signature, then someone writes a letter and they believe it immediately.
Tom in the house in Venice introduces himself as Ripley, he has to stay there for at least six months and then disappears changing name and passport, how is that possible?
In Palermo, they recognized him after five minutes and no one remembers Dickie's face or in Venice no one recognizes him after months of newspapers talking about the case.
What is the time difference when Tom arrives in Venice (he already has a beard but it seems the day after) and when the detective receives the book?
The Camorra guy: He's there for two episodes, he's interesting, mysterious, and scary, and then he lets Tom walk all over him in three seconds and his only job in the series was to sell a boat? And the secret deliveries? And the art pieces?
Dickie's family: They come from America and for the English boy Miles, no one comes, this young man doesn't even interest his parents.
The night of the murder, Tom (I don't know how he transported a body standing up) drags it down the stairs, dirties everything, and then in four minutes cleans the entire staircase (or it was just slightly dirty after dragging a body by the head) with a single cloth. And the lady of the building believes they are mice? Mice as big as pigs? Also, excuse me, but here in Italy if someone makes all that noise on the stairs every three minutes, whether it's four in the afternoon, midnight, or three in the morning, you go there and look or call someone. He went back and forth (why didn't he take off his shoes for the noise of the heels?), elevator, doors, not even the lady of the building came out.
Moreover, the biggest of all: how long is the night of the murder and how does Tom go from the historic center of Rome to the Via Appia all those times back and forth if: the distance by car is about 30 minutes and on foot it is a good 1 hour and 30 minutes?
In short, I think this is a bit of everything that makes me frown and that, in my opinion, narratively creates a real imbalance and makes no sense. Moreover, the ending is really banal: wouldn't it have been better to catch him? Who really deserves a spin-off is the detective. Even the actor playing Ripley had no charisma, always the same expression, the same cadence in his voice, and that accent... for me, it could have been a 9 but it turned out to be a 6.

Actually he is my uncle but he has been the father figure since I was around 10. I'm 23 now.
So I did something (cooked some onion) and he commented about how "that's not how it's done". I thought it was (mistakenly so) so I said "it is done like this". He repeats himself and so do I two or three times, after which he was getting visibly angry. Just his face, he was actually containing it, which was apparent.
But this was enough to trigger me (if you wish to know why this was triggering there's a recent post about it on my profile, trigger warning for physical violence and humiliation). He started to leave after doing some explaining and when he was walking away I said smt like "you're already getting crazy!" (Which in our language sounds kinda worse but idk how to translate) Meaning the visible anger on his face that triggered me was overreacting to me just contradicting him. Supposedly, me just bluntly replying "yes it's done like this" is provocative.
Anyways after hearing that he comes back and gets in my face. He wasn't going to hit me, that's "in the past", but he feinted and I turned my head, expecting a hit. Somehow we ended up talking for like two hours, there were many points we both wanted to get across to the other and I doubt there was much mutual understanding , but what's relevant to this post is that he made it known that things would be "worse" if I ever spoke to him like that. That he would beat me if I called him an idiot.
He showed me how he has been containing himself all this time, and that even know after saying you're going crazy he didn't hit me. That's true.
He said he really hates being offended. He told me that one time when he asked a worker that was doing stuff in our house for something, the dude just turned his back to him and my dad screamed so loudly the dude was startled. Like did a little jump.
I'm like: you think that's good for your health? You've been containing your temper lately, you think it's good? Repressing it even further will only make it worse in the long run and you will stop being so effective at restraining yourself when you want to. He seems to think he knows a thing or two about psychology so he replied with condescension at my suggestion that he needs to fix the anger issues instead of just controlling himself when they arise. Whatever.
It sucks. What's even worse is that most lf the time he is normal. Like 999/1000 times. Our baseline is good terms right now. But my subconscious still remembers, I haven't unpacked all those things yet. I don't like knowing that my father would beat me up for offending him. I don't like not saying something to him (even if it is calling him stupid) only because of fear of physical responses.
I told him many things, like how it sucks fearing my own father and he said "don't provoque me then".I painted a hypothetical situation in which I called him an idiot to ask him what would happen if he didn't react in an aggressive/violent manner, he replied and finished with "but better never call me that". I was like "wouldn't you stop to think why would your son call you that? Why would anybody call their dad that way if everything was good? Or why I said you were getting crazy?" And whatever the fuck his reply was to that it probably boiled down to "you have no business saying those things". Sure, calling someone an idiot isn't good. Focus on that. .
My repressed emotions to his attitude all this years were there in the conversation. I kept stopping because the knot in my throat wouldn't let me talk, tears on my eyes. This didn't seem to communicate anything to him.
I wonder what I'll do when I get stronger than him. I'd be so tempted to start something just to show him he can't overpower me anymore. I wouldn't even hit him, just restrain him and faking a hit just so he sees what it feels like. Even then, I don't think it compares to an adult doing that to a kid or teenager. He has heart issues though, and as much as I wish for payback, I feel like his rage would be so much worse after being restrained that his heart could worsen (also I understand revenge makes no real sense, forgive them Father for they not what they do, if he could understand he would).
Anyway. We hadn't had an altercation like this in a while, and it's the first time I actually said something like that to him. He won't hit me if I don't insult him. But his intimidating nature is still present at times, for example when I don't listen to him and stubbornly oppose him (it happens sometimes but I only with him, surprised?) And knowing he can get like violent or just verbally aggressive doesn't make the "good times" worth it. He is a "good charismatic person" basically all the time except when these things happen. But I'm at odds with the fact that if I ever fail to contain my subconscious resentment to him and call him something (motherfucker, idiot, stupid high-iq but low-eq controlling dumbfuck) I'll get beat up. I understand that healing is on me to stop walking on eggshells when he is around, but I'm starting to dislike him on a more conscious level now. Which is confusing too because everytime I've brought this up to my mother, she seemed to understand part of how I was feeling, but ultimately it boiled down to "he's family and will catch a bullet for you, will always drop anything he is doing when we need help". WHICH IS TRUE BUT I DON'T CARE
AITAH for wanting to keep interactions with him at the bare minimum?
EDIT: I'd love to move out. I live with my mom, grandma and grandpa. He lives in the city and comes by 1/2/3 times a week, frequently spending the night or two. I still love them, and especially my mom and her parents, but being able to fuck off whenever I need to without resorting to going some place or park would be great. But I can't. I'd put an extremely tough burden on my mom, she'd have no live left: she works a lot, grandpa is getting very old but main thing is taking care of my grandma, there are some things like lifting her that only I can do because grandpa is too old and uncle can't due to some tendon issues on his arms. Besides the option to start earning a metric shitload of money to retire her and be able to afford 24/7 elderly care personnel, do you have any ideas about how to approach this?
EDIT: at some point he brought up the "how much love we gave you" situation. Now here is what disturbs me. It's true, I've been given tons of love, patience, opoortunities, the works, not only from the rest of the family but from him as well. So I imagine myself as a parent that loves their kid so much, and then I imagine myself intimidating him because he called me crazy, or hitting him because he didn't listen and did something different from what we had agreed on, behind my back, for the millionth time. It feels wrong, it feels ignorant. I'd be wondering why the fuck does my son agree to do a certain thing and when it comes time to it, he does a different one. I'd start thinking about why he keeps lying about school grades, failing to pass the year even when he sees how bad it stresses his mother out... Instead of hitting him in the face with a closed fist (but hey, it wasn't full force!!) because he keeps lying and driving his mom crazy.
But hey, that's me. I'm "not the one to teach him about psychology"

About me
Hello there, my name is Coach Chesster(Yes, an obvious Chess reference, which is, by far, my favorite game). I've been playing League of Legends since season one, I've experienced everything from full AP Yi one-shotting my entire team to Tryndamere mains spinning around with a needlessly large rod instead of a sword. You could say I've been there during all the important historical moments of the game. I've been at the top of the ladder in Season 6 (Going between high Diamond and Challenger, based on how much time I've had to invest). I've competed in various tournaments, even being able to win a number of them, before I decided to get myself into coaching.
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I started the entire coaching thing during season 7 when one of my friends asked if I wanted to help him get out of that Diamond 4 hell. Ever since then, I was having a consistent number of sessions on a weekly basis, with my network of people slowly increasing(One of them actually gave me the idea to advertise on Reddit, which I did eventually accept!) I've coached more than 700 individuals ever since I started and I can proudly say I've had more than 500 sessions this year alone! So, if you are looking for someone who is around for more than 5 days actually add me.
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All of our coaches have been vetted and verified, being certain all of you guys get the best service available! Every single one has peaked at least Grandmaster, with a minimum of 250 Coaching Hours to their name.
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• Upon joining, message me in order to have a Role assigned!

Prices?
Prices for my sessions are negotiable and I can guarantee, they fall onto the affordable part of the specter!
My coaching sessions are oriented and tailored to each student's specific needs, and they do cover everything from theory to live coaching, in-game mentality, etc.

Hi, I just finished watching the series Ripley and I would like to share some opinions with you (there will be spoilers).
So, I really liked the series, at least until 2-3 episodes from the end. In the first half, I loved the style, the slow images, the black and white, the tension and suspense of a film noir, and the composition of the images in terms of objects and subjects. I liked that the series, for the first time or at least in rare cases, had actors speaking in English if they were American, otherwise all in Italian since it is set there, but with some devices where, for example, some Italians speak fluent English. In short, I was loving it, but by the last episode, I couldn't stand it much anymore and it saddens me because it's a series with style. I believe that some narrative problems already seen in the early episodes, as the episodes went on, grew considerably, leading to a rushed finale with many small lines opened and closed hastily and with several errors.
For example (I'm not going in order, but as they come to mind):
Marge: I just don't get her. She seems extremely in love with Dickie, but in the end, she starts flirting with Tom (completely unnecessary) and becomes stupid in her behavior. You'd expect her to have doubts (she was warned, she didn't get along with him) and to play a double game to understand who Tom was, but instead, she was genuinely infatuated with Tom and completely forgot about Dickie. I really don't understand this huge change in personality.
Dickie and Tom: Why did Dickie, if he wanted to get rid of Tom, take him alone in the middle of the sea on a boat 1500 km away? Did he want to get himself killed? You don't trust someone and you go together to an isolated place, without a reason?
The detective: He's a character I love, well-realized and wonderfully portrayed by the actor. Serious, intelligent, shrewd, and likable. Then he gets to the last episode and even he loses depth. An intelligent detective, who looks at details, who notices everything and makes appropriate conjectures and connections: he didn't want to personally verify Tom's passport, he never requested an investigation of his apartment (being a suspect) of Tom or Dickie, and on top of that, he goes all the way to Venice, sees Tom in person and doesn't question the fact that this man uses a wig, has the same voice as Tom and the same features as if he were his brother (light or no light, he shook his hand five centimeters from his face)? None of this makes sense. Moreover, he was looking for him so much, they gave him false leads, saying he was in Rome, he checked all the hotels, and when he meets him he doesn't solve the case by asking him in which hotel he had stayed after looking for him so much? Verify, don't find him, know he is lying. Instead, no. Then, why does he believe the boat story when the boat keeper had filed a report the same day? And what explanation does he give to a boat with blood and full of rocks that had been stolen?
Why does Tom buy six train tickets when he returns from Palermo?
The private detective arrives in grand style from America, already knows him, knows he is a scammer who changes identity, and when he talks to him believes everything Tom says, but what did he also get hit on the head?
In the last episode, all tension is lost, every scene that should make us jump out of our seats leads nowhere but to a dead end and a scene that is overcooked.
John Malkovich: Where did he come from? Casually in the last 20 minutes of the series, he goes to a dinner and he is also the stranger who always changes identity. What, two playmates found each other there by chance and without ever talking about it, they understand each other about what they do for a living?
In the entire series, no one ever saw a photo of Dickie? Even when they were on the table and at home?
The bank makes all that fuss from America for a false signature, then someone writes a letter and they believe it immediately.
Tom in the house in Venice introduces himself as Ripley, he has to stay there for at least six months and then disappears changing name and passport, how is that possible?
In Palermo, they recognized him after five minutes and no one remembers Dickie's face or in Venice no one recognizes him after months of newspapers talking about the case.
What is the time difference when Tom arrives in Venice (he already has a beard but it seems the day after) and when the detective receives the book?
The Camorra guy: He's there for two episodes, he's interesting, mysterious, and scary, and then he lets Tom walk all over him in three seconds and his only job in the series was to sell a boat? And the secret deliveries? And the art pieces?
Dickie's family: They come from America and for the English boy Miles, no one comes, this young man doesn't even interest his parents.
The night of the murder, Tom (I don't know how he transported a body standing up) drags it down the stairs, dirties everything, and then in four minutes cleans the entire staircase (or it was just slightly dirty after dragging a body by the head) with a single cloth. And the lady of the building believes they are mice? Mice as big as pigs? Also, excuse me, but here in Italy if someone makes all that noise on the stairs every three minutes, whether it's four in the afternoon, midnight, or three in the morning, you go there and look or call someone. He went back and forth (why didn't he take off his shoes for the noise of the heels?), elevator, doors, not even the lady of the building came out.
Moreover, the biggest of all: how long is the night of the murder and how does Tom go from the historic center of Rome to the Via Appia all those times back and forth if: the distance by car is about 30 minutes and on foot it is a good 1 hour and 30 minutes?
In short, I think this is a bit of everything that makes me frown and that, in my opinion, narratively creates a real imbalance and makes no sense. Moreover, the ending is really banal: wouldn't it have been better to catch him? Who really deserves a spin-off is the detective. Even the actor playing Ripley had no charisma, always the same expression, the same cadence in his voice, and that accent... for me, it could have been a 9 but it turned out to be a 6.

Hi, I just finished watching the series Ripley and I would like to share some opinions with you (there will be spoilers).
So, I really liked the series, at least until 2-3 episodes from the end. In the first half, I loved the style, the slow images, the black and white, the tension and suspense of a film noir, and the composition of the images in terms of objects and subjects. I liked that the series, for the first time or at least in rare cases, had actors speaking in English if they were American, otherwise all in Italian since it is set there, but with some devices where, for example, some Italians speak fluent English. In short, I was loving it, but by the last episode, I couldn't stand it much anymore and it saddens me because it's a series with style. I believe that some narrative problems already seen in the early episodes, as the episodes went on, grew considerably, leading to a rushed finale with many small lines opened and closed hastily and with several errors.
For example (I'm not going in order, but as they come to mind):
Marge: I just don't get her. She seems extremely in love with Dickie, but in the end, she starts flirting with Tom (completely unnecessary) and becomes stupid in her behavior. You'd expect her to have doubts (she was warned, she didn't get along with him) and to play a double game to understand who Tom was, but instead, she was genuinely infatuated with Tom and completely forgot about Dickie. I really don't understand this huge change in personality.
Dickie and Tom: Why did Dickie, if he wanted to get rid of Tom, take him alone in the middle of the sea on a boat 1500 km away? Did he want to get himself killed? You don't trust someone and you go together to an isolated place, without a reason?
The detective: He's a character I love, well-realized and wonderfully portrayed by the actor. Serious, intelligent, shrewd, and likable. Then he gets to the last episode and even he loses depth. An intelligent detective, who looks at details, who notices everything and makes appropriate conjectures and connections: he didn't want to personally verify Tom's passport, he never requested an investigation of his apartment (being a suspect) of Tom or Dickie, and on top of that, he goes all the way to Venice, sees Tom in person and doesn't question the fact that this man uses a wig, has the same voice as Tom and the same features as if he were his brother (light or no light, he shook his hand five centimeters from his face)? None of this makes sense. Moreover, he was looking for him so much, they gave him false leads, saying he was in Rome, he checked all the hotels, and when he meets him he doesn't solve the case by asking him in which hotel he had stayed after looking for him so much? Verify, don't find him, know he is lying. Instead, no. Then, why does he believe the boat story when the boat keeper had filed a report the same day? And what explanation does he give to a boat with blood and full of rocks that had been stolen?
Why does Tom buy six train tickets when he returns from Palermo?
The private detective arrives in grand style from America, already knows him, knows he is a scammer who changes identity, and when he talks to him believes everything Tom says, but what did he also get hit on the head?
In the last episode, all tension is lost, every scene that should make us jump out of our seats leads nowhere but to a dead end and a scene that is overcooked.
John Malkovich: Where did he come from? Casually in the last 20 minutes of the series, he goes to a dinner and he is also the stranger who always changes identity. What, two playmates found each other there by chance and without ever talking about it, they understand each other about what they do for a living?
In the entire series, no one ever saw a photo of Dickie? Even when they were on the table and at home?
The bank makes all that fuss from America for a false signature, then someone writes a letter and they believe it immediately.
Tom in the house in Venice introduces himself as Ripley, he has to stay there for at least six months and then disappears changing name and passport, how is that possible?
In Palermo, they recognized him after five minutes and no one remembers Dickie's face or in Venice no one recognizes him after months of newspapers talking about the case.
What is the time difference when Tom arrives in Venice (he already has a beard but it seems the day after) and when the detective receives the book?
The Camorra guy: He's there for two episodes, he's interesting, mysterious, and scary, and then he lets Tom walk all over him in three seconds and his only job in the series was to sell a boat? And the secret deliveries? And the art pieces?
Dickie's family: They come from America and for the English boy Miles, no one comes, this young man doesn't even interest his parents.
The night of the murder, Tom (I don't know how he transported a body standing up) drags it down the stairs, dirties everything, and then in four minutes cleans the entire staircase (or it was just slightly dirty after dragging a body by the head) with a single cloth. And the lady of the building believes they are mice? Mice as big as pigs? Also, excuse me, but here in Italy if someone makes all that noise on the stairs every three minutes, whether it's four in the afternoon, midnight, or three in the morning, you go there and look or call someone. He went back and forth (why didn't he take off his shoes for the noise of the heels?), elevator, doors, not even the lady of the building came out.
Moreover, the biggest of all: how long is the night of the murder and how does Tom go from the historic center of Rome to the Via Appia all those times back and forth if: the distance by car is about 30 minutes and on foot it is a good 1 hour and 30 minutes?
In short, I think this is a bit of everything that makes me frown and that, in my opinion, narratively creates a real imbalance and makes no sense. Moreover, the ending is really banal: wouldn't it have been better to catch him? Who really deserves a spin-off is the detective. Even the actor playing Ripley had no charisma, always the same expression, the same cadence in his voice, and that accent... for me, it could have been a 9 but it turned out to be a 6.

Drowning in $30k+ of medical debt, help!!
Hey all.
I’m currently drowning in $30k+ of medical debt because I was a silly 22 year old with no knowledge about insurance.
Ok, let me explain- Its 2020. I have a rocky relationship with my parents and I was worried about being booted off their health insurance since I had started my first full-time big girl job. Therefore, I enrolled in benefits through my job, leaving with me two insurances. I had both insurance plans from 2020-2022. I had no clue that if you had two insurance plans you had to let them know about each other to decide a primary and secondary insurance. I continued to use my parents insurance plan as their dependent since I was never removed from their plan and all of my providers already had this insurance on file. Honestly, I kind of forgot about the second insurance plan until I quit that job and was notified about my loss of benefits.
Fast forward to a year after quitting my job… I get a packet in the mail from the second insurance company with 150 pages of denied health insurance claims from 2020-2022. It also included paperwork stating that they will not be covering these claims since the date of service is greater than 6 months from the time of submitting the claim. At this point, my providers were also calling me to tell me that the first insurance company has withdrawn all the money they paid for all my appointments from 2020-2022. It had now become my responsibility to start payments plans with my providers to pay them back for their services.
I know that I fucked up by having two insurance plans. I am fully aware this is my fault. But I’m just wondering if anyone would think it might be worth it to lawyer up and take this case to court to have one of these insurance companies help with payments. I’m absolutely drowning in debt.

About me
Hello there, my name is Coach Chesster(Yes, an obvious Chess reference, which is, by far, my favorite game). I've been playing League of Legends since season one, I've experienced everything from full AP Yi one-shotting my entire team to Tryndamere mains spinning around with a needlessly large rod instead of a sword. You could say I've been there during all the important historical moments of the game. I've been at the top of the ladder in Season 6 (Going between high Diamond and Challenger, based on how much time I've had to invest). I've competed in various tournaments, even being able to win a number of them, before I decided to get myself into coaching.
Coaching
I started the entire coaching thing during season 7 when one of my friends asked if I wanted to help him get out of that Diamond 4 hell. Ever since then, I was having a consistent number of sessions on a weekly basis, with my network of people slowly increasing(One of them actually gave me the idea to advertise on Reddit, which I did eventually accept!) I've coached more than 700 individuals ever since I started and I can proudly say I've had more than 500 sessions this year alone! So, if you are looking for someone who is around for more than 5 days actually add me.
Some of my personal coaching achievements include
Getting a player from Silver 1 to Platinum in just 5 weeks
Getting D2 to Masters in 2 weeks
Bronze 1 to Diamond, yes, this one happened as well, though it took slightly more time
Helping Duo players on NA reach Gold(They were actually stuck in Bronze 2 prior!)
Creating a coach from hard-stuck D2 after he got GM
Community
In addition to my services, I am proud to present to you our Educational community, which is steadily growing on a daily basis. Aside from Coaching, it is an amazing place to connect with other people, find friends and talk about the game all of us love and enjoy. Various events are held on a weekly basis, from 1v1 tournaments to Team Contests, with nice rewards being given out! Hint, you might win a free session!
All of our coaches have been vetted and verified, being certain all of you guys get the best service available! Every single one has peaked at least Grandmaster, with a minimum of 250 Coaching Hours to their name.
Discord Community: CLICK HERE

• Upon joining, message me in order to have a Role assigned!

Prices?
Prices for my sessions are negotiable and I can guarantee, they fall onto the affordable part of the specter!
My coaching sessions are oriented and tailored to each student's specific needs, and they do cover everything from theory to live coaching, in-game mentality, etc.

About me
Hello there, my name is Coach Chesster(Yes, an obvious Chess reference, which is, by far, my favorite game). I've been playing League of Legends since season one, I've experienced everything from full AP Yi one-shotting my entire team to Tryndamere mains spinning around with a needlessly large rod instead of a sword. You could say I've been there during all the important historical moments of the game. I've been at the top of the ladder in Season 6 (Going between high Diamond and Challenger, based on how much time I've had to invest). I've competed in various tournaments, even being able to win a number of them, before I decided to get myself into coaching.
Coaching
I started the entire coaching thing during season 7 when one of my friends asked if I wanted to help him get out of that Diamond 4 hell. Ever since then, I was having a consistent number of sessions on a weekly basis, with my network of people slowly increasing(One of them actually gave me the idea to advertise on Reddit, which I did eventually accept!) I've coached more than 700 individuals ever since I started and I can proudly say I've had more than 500 sessions this year alone! So, if you are looking for someone who is around for more than 5 days actually add me.
Some of my personal coaching achievements include
Getting a player from Silver 1 to Platinum in just 5 weeks
Getting D2 to Masters in 2 weeks
Bronze 1 to Diamond, yes, this one happened as well, though it took slightly more time
Helping Duo players on NA reach Gold(They were actually stuck in Bronze 2 prior!)
Creating a coach from hard-stuck D2 after he got GM
Community
In addition to my services, I am proud to present to you our Educational community, which is steadily growing on a daily basis. Aside from Coaching, it is an amazing place to connect with other people, find friends and talk about the game all of us love and enjoy. Various events are held on a weekly basis, from 1v1 tournaments to Team Contests, with nice rewards being given out! Hint, you might win a free session!
All of our coaches have been vetted and verified, being certain all of you guys get the best service available! Every single one has peaked at least Grandmaster, with a minimum of 250 Coaching Hours to their name.
Discord Community: CLICK HERE

• Upon joining, message me in order to have a Role assigned!

Prices?
Prices for my sessions are negotiable and I can guarantee, they fall onto the affordable part of the specter!
My coaching sessions are oriented and tailored to each student's specific needs, and they do cover everything from theory to live coaching, in-game mentality, etc.

Actually he is my uncle but he has been the father figure since I was around 10. I'm 23 now.
So I did something (cooked some onion) and he commented about how "that's not how it's done". I thought it was (mistakenly so) so I said "it is done like this". He repeats himself and so do I two or three times, after which he was getting visibly angry. Just his face, he was actually containing it, which was apparent.
But this was enough to trigger me (if you wish to know why this was triggering there's a recent post about it on my profile, trigger warning for physical violence and humiliation). He started to leave after doing some explaining and when he was walking away I said smt like "you're already getting crazy!" (Which in our language sounds kinda worse but idk how to translate) Meaning the visible anger on his face that triggered me was overreacting to me just contradicting him. Supposedly, me just bluntly replying "yes it's done like this" is provocative.
Anyways after hearing that he comes back and gets in my face. He wasn't going to hit me, that's "in the past", but he feinted and I turned my head, expecting a hit. Somehow we ended up talking for like two hours, there were many points we both wanted to get across to the other and I doubt there was much mutual understanding , but what's relevant to this post is that he made it known that things would be "worse" if I ever spoke to him like that. That he would beat me if I called him an idiot.
He showed me how he has been containing himself all this time, and that even know after saying you're going crazy he didn't hit me. That's true.
He said he really hates being offended. He told me that one time when he asked a worker that was doing stuff in our house for something, the dude just turned his back to him and my dad screamed so loudly the dude was startled. Like did a little jump.
I'm like: you think that's good for your health? You've been containing your temper lately, you think it's good? Repressing it even further will only make it worse in the long run and you will stop being so effective at restraining yourself when you want to. He seems to think he knows a thing or two about psychology so he replied with condescension at my suggestion that he needs to fix the anger issues instead of just controlling himself when they arise. Whatever.
It sucks. What's even worse is that most lf the time he is normal. Like 999/1000 times. Our baseline is good terms right now. But my subconscious still remembers, I haven't unpacked all those things yet. I don't like knowing that my father would beat me up for offending him. I don't like not saying something to him (even if it is calling him stupid) only because of fear of physical responses.
I told him many things, like how it sucks fearing my own father and he said "don't provoque me then".I painted a hypothetical situation in which I called him an idiot to ask him what would happen if he didn't react in an aggressive/violent manner, he replied and finished with "but better never call me that". I was like "wouldn't you stop to think why would your son call you that? Why would anybody call their dad that way if everything was good? Or why I said you were getting crazy?" And whatever the fuck his reply was to that it probably boiled down to "you have no business saying those things". Sure, calling someone an idiot isn't good. Focus on that. .
My repressed emotions to his attitude all this years were there in the conversation. I kept stopping because the knot in my throat wouldn't let me talk, tears on my eyes. This didn't seem to communicate anything to him.
I wonder what I'll do when I get stronger than him. I'd be so tempted to start something just to show him he can't overpower me anymore. I wouldn't even hit him, just restrain him and faking a hit just so he sees what it feels like. Even then, I don't think it compares to an adult doing that to a kid or teenager. He has heart issues though, and as much as I wish for payback, I feel like his rage would be so much worse after being restrained that his heart could worsen (also I understand revenge makes no real sense, forgive them Father for they not what they do, if he could understand he would).
Anyway. We hadn't had an altercation like this in a while, and it's the first time I actually said something like that to him. He won't hit me if I don't insult him. But his intimidating nature is still present at times, for example when I don't listen to him and stubbornly oppose him (it happens sometimes but I only with him, surprised?) And knowing he can get like violent or just verbally aggressive doesn't make the "good times" worth it. He is a "good charismatic person" basically all the time except when these things happen. But I'm at odds with the fact that if I ever fail to contain my subconscious resentment to him and call him something (motherfucker, idiot, stupid high-iq but low-eq controlling dumbfuck) I'll get beat up. I understand that healing is on me to stop walking on eggshells when he is around, but I'm starting to dislike him on a more conscious level now. Which is confusing too because everytime I've brought this up to my mother, she seemed to understand part of how I was feeling, but ultimately it boiled down to "he's family and will catch a bullet for you, will always drop anything he is doing when we need help". WHICH IS TRUE BUT I DON'T CARE
AITAH for wanting to keep interactions with him at the bare minimum?
EDIT: I'd love to move out. I live with my mom, grandma and grandpa. He lives in the city and comes by 1/2/3 times a week, frequently spending the night or two. I still love them, and especially my mom and her parents, but being able to fuck off whenever I need to without resorting to going some place or park would be great. But I can't. I'd put an extremely tough burden on my mom, she'd have no live left: she works a lot, grandpa is getting very old but main thing is taking care of my grandma, there are some things like lifting her that only I can do because grandpa is too old and uncle can't due to some tendon issues on his arms. Besides the option to start earning a metric shitload of money to retire her and be able to afford 24/7 elderly care personnel, do you have any ideas about how to approach this?
EDIT: at some point he brought up the "how much love we gave you" situation. Now here is what disturbs me. It's true, I've been given tons of love, patience, opoortunities, the works, not only from the rest of the family but from him as well. So I imagine myself as a parent that loves their kid so much, and then I imagine myself intimidating him because he called me crazy, or hitting him because he didn't listen and did something different from what we had agreed on, behind my back, for the millionth time. It feels wrong, it feels ignorant. I'd be wondering why the fuck does my son agree to do a certain thing and when it comes time to it, he does a different one. I'd start thinking about why he keeps lying about school grades, failing to pass the year even when he sees how bad it stresses his mother out... Instead of hitting him in the face with a closed fist (but hey, it wasn't full force!!) because he keeps lying and driving his mom crazy.
But hey, that's me. I'm "not the one to teach him about psychology"

What happened to VPR in your bio and what's going on? (Timestamp: 2:04) - Scheana: So to be honest, my sister does all of my links and that stuff on Instagram for me. I didn't even notice that it was taken out of my bio until everyone else did. I think maybe when she put the Sweet and Sour song in, she took out VPR because there were too many things in my bio. - Scheana: Also, for 11 years, I've never had anything VPR in my bio until we were nominated for an Emmy. James Kennedy and I worked together the day we found out and we're like, who could put it in their bio faster? What emoji should we use? - Scheana: And we both put it in our bio and then lo and behold, we didn't win the Emmy. And what was it? Emmy nominated VPR was in my bio for, I think just around the Emmy time and then my sister took it out. - Scheana: So literally no other rhyme or reason, nothing else going on there. It just, too many things in the bio just make it a little too cluttered looking and you know, I'm OCD. So I guess she just wanted to keep it clean.
Do you wish you guys have been able to break the fourth wall more? Are there any moments from past seasons where you wish that it happened? (Timestamp: 3:22) - Scheana: Yes, honestly, I think that is so interesting when you're watching a reality show and they talk about the show on the show. - Scheana: They do this on Kardashians. They do this on the D'Amelio show. And I just think that makes the reality even more real because there are things that happen in press on Watch What Happens Live at the reunion last year. - Scheana: There are things that you want to address where you have to say like, oh, well the last time we were in New York together, I noticed they were doing that on the first episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey. And we used to do that all the time on the show. Sometimes you just want to be like, look at the reunion last year, but you have to say like, well the last time we all got together. - Scheana: And it's just easier and I think it makes sense if you just say, well, you said this on Watch What Happens Live, not I heard you said. And so I do hope moving forward with the way our season ended that we're able to have more moments like that because I think it just adds to our reality. And there have been so many things in the past. - Scheana: I can't even think off the top of my head, but yeah, many moments where I wish we could just talk about the show on the show. But I also understand why they don't like to do that. And I think it's only really meant for important moments. So, hopefully there is a season 12 and maybe we see a little more of that.
How are you feeling after Reunion 1 aired? (Timestamp: 4:56) - Scheana: Well, I have not looked on anything said on social media. I felt like watching the episode, it was a pretty good one. I think the next two are gonna be definitely more dramatic from what I remember. I feel like I tend to emotionally blackout after Reunion days. - Scheana: And I'm like, wait, what happened? What did we say? And then we have to watch it back. But that's the beauty of reality TV is you gotta watch back your life, the good, the bad, the cringe, all of it.
Is there anything you wish we got to see this season but didn't? (Timestamp: 5:35) - Scheana: There are a few things, but there's also a secrets revealed episode that is going to air, I believe only on Peacock, after the third part of the reunion the following week. - Scheana: So you'll see some new interview bites. We did some doubles there, which is really fun. And you'll see some scenes that didn't make it in. - Scheana: One of them is my sister's birthday and Valley Brat launch party. So that was a really fun day. Almost the entire cast was there. Katie and Tori were there. And I'm excited to see that. I haven't seen it yet, but I know that that's one of the scenes that we should be seeing. Stay tuned.
Anything you wish you said at the reunion that you didn't get a chance to say? (Timestamp: 6:20) - Scheana: I haven't seen the last two episodes of The Reunion yet, so I'm not sure what all will be included. You'll have to ask me again in two weeks.
What are you planning to do on the VPR break? (Timestamp: 6:34) - Scheana: Reflect, grow, learn. I'm going to be working on a dream project of mine this summer, so I'm very, very excited about having time to do that and not figuring out how I'm going to juggle that with filming five days a week. I'm going to get to enjoy a summer off for the first time in like 12 years and the first time as a mom. So I'm really looking forward to having some downtime focusing on some other projects. - Scheana: Summer starts preschool and yeah, it'll just be nice to finish getting stuff done in our house. We're almost fully furnished, not completely yet. We still got some tweaks and add some little accent pieces, need some artwork in the living room, but I'm just excited to have time with the family and in the new house. - Scheana: And as crazy as it sounds being in the desert in the summer, I love being in Palm Springs. Even if it is 120 degrees outside, there's just something about my house. It's so peaceful. - Scheana: And now that we have Lala next door, I mean, we have both of our houses close to each other, but we'll definitely be out there a bunch this summer.
How do we feel about the next season being on hold? (Timestamp: 7:55) - Scheana: I think this break is needed. Honestly, I think it is the smartest decision to not jump right back in to another season like we did after Scandoval. I don't think enough time had passed. And I feel like if we gave it a little more time to breathe, things would have been a lot different. - Scheana: But I don't know, maybe we needed to jump back in as soon as possible to capture what was still happening. But for right now, after that reunion and how dramatic the season ended, and as you guys know, we all watched the last part of the finale together in front of each other for the first time, which was extremely emotional. I feel like all of us need a little bit of an emotional break. - Scheana: Some from each other, some from the cameras. I need a couple more EMDR sessions before I go back into another season. But I think giving us some time off to let some new story build up, follow some of the projects that we've been working on. - Scheana: And yeah, I think it is very needed and I think it'll be good in the end. I didn't know how I felt about it in the beginning, but the more I've sat with it, I'm like, yeah, this is the right decision.
What did you make of Ariana voting No It's Done on that IG fan poll asking do you think there will be a season 12 of VPR? (Timestamp: 9:18) - Scheana: Well, as her friend, I fully support her pursuing her dreams. I always have. I've said that multiple times. It's like if VPR and reality TV no longer serve her, then on to the next thing. She's going back to Broadway. She's doing Love Island. - Scheana: She has so many amazing things lined up. I don't even know what else is in the pipeline for her, but I'm sure many more amazing things. So if it's time to move on, it's like I completely get it. - Scheana: As her coworker, if this is true, I mean, it's kind of frustrating that she would advocate for the end of a work project that is a big part of my business and what Lala and I as moms do to support our families. - Scheana: So that's what's tricky too with this show is our life is our job and our job is our life. And as a friend, I understand and respect boundaries. As your coworker, there can be moments where it's frustrating. So that's how I feel about that.
What are your hopes for season 12? (Timestamp: 10:40) - Scheana: Well, I hope that we have one. First of all, the finale did feel very series ending, but I think it also opens up the door for a new beginning. I think there are still so many stories to be told among this group. - Scheana: And maybe with ending the season with the fourth wall breaking down, maybe that opens up the door to more of that for hopefully season 12. I think we have a really interesting story to tell moving forward. And I think there's going to be a lot left to tell.
How do you feel about Ariana not watching the season? (Timestamp: 15:28) - Scheana: Look, I get that it can be difficult to watch back sometimes. And I am a person who season six did not wanna watch back that relationship. And that relationship with Rob doesn't even compare to her relationship with Sandoval. - Scheana: So I understand she was busy, she was working, she was living in her happy bubble in New York, doing Chicago, and probably didn't wanna let anything get into her orbit, burst her bubble. I did the same thing when I was doing my show in Las Vegas. And I was performing every night on stage. - Scheana: I didn't want any of that going into me going on stage. So I get not wanting to disturb your peace. It's like she was literally living her dream at the moment that the show was airing. - Scheana: But with that being said, she wasn't watching the season, but she was keeping up on social media. And that's the thing that's hard for me because she's seen clips. And I know this does get addressed later in the reunion. - Scheana: I don't know what will air. I just remember speaking about it. But she was basing her perception off of fan clips and commentary. Like I know she even said on Watch What Happens Live that one of the things that hurt her the most was seeing the backup dancer comment I made. - Scheana: And in context that was honestly never meant to be shady. It was a cheeky comment where I'm actually like making fun of myself. I mean, I am not Beyonce, okay? It was a joke. But for her to say that really hurt her, I'm like, damn girl, like I didn't mean it in that way. - Scheana: But if you did watch the whole season and Andy asked her, did you see the conversation Scheana had with Sandoval? I felt like that conversation, I was having her back. I was advocating for her and her mental health and the things that he had done that were wrong outside of the affair. - Scheana: She never even watched that. She says that she lived the show, so she didn't need to watch it back. But there were all of the moments that she wasn't there for that I do wish she watched back because I think she would have a bigger picture of how I was being a good friend to her. - Scheana: So for her and Katie to say that they felt like I was a better friend to Sandoval this season, I definitely don't think I was a better friend to Sandoval. I don't think I was a good friend to Sandoval at all. Did I treat him like a human? Sure.
Is Summer Moon's half sister really named Winter Sky? (Timestamp: 22:51) - Scheana: No, I think someone online made that up. It's been circulating. That is not her middle name. It's not for me to say what her middle name is, but it's absolutely not Sky or anything close to that or seasonal.
Why do you think Katie spoke one way about Ariana off camera versus on camera? Do you think it was because she wanted to protect Ariana's feelings or was she worried about the backlash from the fans if she said anything critical about Ariana? (Timestamp: 24:36) - Scheana: I don't necessarily think it's either. I think it was and has been a business decision for them to remain a united front. They've made a lot of money on something about her. - Scheana: So I get, you know, not wanting to affect their business and I fully support that. I know what Lala said at the reunion, she felt that Katie was being fake by acting one way on camera and different behind the scenes. But I mean, I think Katie was probably prioritizing her brand as she was making, you know, probably more from that than from the show. - Scheana: So as a friend, I understand and respect the business decision. But you know, again, as a coworker, it's frustrating when you're not living your truth. So I get it. - Scheana: But it's like, we all show up and do the uncomfortable stuff. And when others aren't, it is frustrating. And if you do act differently on and off camera, you're probably going to get called out for it. - Scheana: So you should be prepared. If you say something on a phone call, just like Brock said something to Lala in private season nine, you know, just because it's off camera doesn't mean it's not going to get brought up on camera. So being authentic always is the only way to be on reality TV, honestly.
Don you see Lala's hypocrisy when it comes to her critique of Ariana's boundary needs, like Randall? (Timestamp: 29:34) - Scheana: I think it's different situations. Honestly, Lala and Randall weren't coworkers. If Randall had been on the show, I think it would be a different story.
How do you feel about Lala saying you were living in the comments section? (Timestamp: 29:50) - Scheana: I think it's more the concept that I let public perception get to me as I really don't spend a lot of time in the comments section. I read the first 20 to 30, as those are usually people I follow and friends, and then I'll see the next couple, but once there's a negative one, I'm like, okay, let's put this away. - Scheana: So it's like if I did fully live in the comments section, it would not be good for my mental health. And I mean, of course I care when people are mad at me. I'm a people pleaser as we know, but I'm also working on that.
Do you agree with LVP that a Lala and Schwartz coupling would be a beautiful thing? (Timestamp: 30:29) - Scheana: No.
Do you agree with Lala that Ariana got cheated on and then made it her whole personality? (Timestamp: 30:31) - Scheana: No, I don't agree with that either. If anyone has made it their personality, that would be more fitting of the other woman involved.
What do you think happened in NYC with Jax, Tom and Victoria after Watch It Happens Live? (Timestamp: 30:54) - Don't know, don't care.
Why aren't you and Sandoval talking much now? (Timestamp: 31:00) - Scheana: I mean, Sandoval and I haven't talked much in over a year since pre Sandoval, so nothing really has changed.
Tom said in a recent interview that he's not getting a redemption arc, but a re humanizing. Do you agree? (Timestamp: 31:14) - Scheana: I mean, whatever it is, I think he probably blew it. And even just watching him on Watch What Happens Live this season, it's like, yeah, you really haven't changed, buddy. - Scheana: You know, I did try to do what Scheana always does and see the tiny bit of good still left and the soul still there, but yeah, you know, whatever
If Tom told LVP that he was suicidal, why was he still filming? Did she get him help? (Timestamp: 31:47) - Scheana: That is a great question. You'll have to ask her that. From what I know, if he was feeling that way during filming, he would have to be in therapy and like talking to a psychiatrist regularly. But yeah, I don't know too much else about that.
Now that the dust has settled, do you think Tom made you look dumb? Do you regret it? (Timestamp: 32:08) - Scheana: I wouldn't give him that much power, TBH. If you think I looked dumb, it was my own doing. I don't regret any of my actions. I don't regret trying to still see some good in someone who had been a very good friend to me for many years, leading up to filming the show from the beginning. - Scheana: Tom and I were very close. We were close for the first few seasons. Season three, I felt like, was it two or three? Whenever Miami Girl and the whole that came around, I did feel like I was seeing a different side of him, the side that we all saw last year. I didn't think he was good for Ariana. - Scheana: I voiced my concerns to her mom. I stand by all of those things that I said back then, but when Ariana convinced me that he was a good person, he didn't do this and I needed to get off this or I was gonna lose her as a friend, I immediately just got over it. I made him my brand again and we built such an insanely strong bond from season two or three, whenever that was, up until Scandoval - Scheana: Although we were not speaking a ton leading up to all of this stuff, I think he knew what he was doing and that's why he started distancing himself from me. That's why Rachel started distancing herself from me because they knew they were being shady for seven months. - Scheana: So Tom and I not speaking that much right now is no different than the seven months leading up to Scandoval. But it's like also with Tom, I've had conversations with him on and off camera and I've tried to get through to him to snap him out of this downward spiral to start showing some empathy and deference towards Ariana, but it's been over a year now and he hasn't really been able to do that. - Scheana: It's like, regardless of who this man was in the past, I do have to accept the reality that that is not who he is now. It's been a hard pill for me to swallow and to watch back, but I think part of me maybe hoped that he had temporarily lost his mind and could be just shaken back to reality. - Scheana: I hoped that he could be genuinely remorseful, but I don't think he is. I felt like there were moments of it where the mask came down and I saw that Tom, and then he's just gone again. And then he says dumb shit that he tried to defend on Watch What Happens Live. - Scheana: (Does a Sandoval impression) “I was like, well, no, I was saying it was good for me. I did my job.” And it's like, no, that's not how you meant. And that right there, it's like Tom, right when you're starting to take a few steps forward, you just fully bury yourself again. I just, I don't get it, but I guess I do.
Do you see how much Sandoval manipulated you in the finale with that final scene? Can't you see through Tom's narcissism? The man has repeatedly lied to you, put you in legal peril, and he takes cheap shots at you by bringing up the Eddie thing. When are you going to wake up and realize this man doesn't care about you (Timestamp: 35:00) - Scheana: Wow, that's a loaded question. Look, a lot of things happened this last year that have changed my perspectives on various people and relationships in my life. Tom and I were friends, as I just said, for so many years, and years before VPR, and it's like viewers have only seen a small fragment of that friendship on the show. Same can be said for all of my castmates. - Scheana: Tom and I are always going to be tied together through this show and our long history, but we're never going to have a friendship like we had before. It's impossible to go back when so much has been broken. Like not just the friendship broken, but the trust shattered. - Scheana: I mean, and I haven't really necessarily seen the growth in him that would merit my energy being fully put back into rekindling a full friendship with him. So I'm not going to try and build that back up if I'm not seeing that from him.
Following you these last years on the show, listening to the podcasts and vlogs, it really felt like you would finally found your voice in this group once you had cut ties with Tom Sandoval. Now that he's back in the picture, you seem to have lost it. How can we help get that voice back? (Timestamp: 36:24) - Scheana: Look, I'm working on it. As hard as it is to watch back sometimes, one of the benefits of reality show life is the added perspective that comes with it. So in due time, I am doing my best. I really genuinely am. I'm trying.
If Rachel tried to reach out to you now, would you respond? If so, what would you say? (Timestamp: 40:22) - Scheana: Oh, I don't think I'm ever gonna hear from that girl, so I don't know what I would say, honestly.
Do you think that Rachel was groomed by Sandoval? (Timestamp: 40:30) - Scheana: I mean, that part of their dynamic was nowhere near me, so I wouldn't be able to answer that.
***end of recap

Some people in my ex workplace are doing things to unfairly ruin my reputation, I haven't harm them by all means, I can't say all the details because it's so long to write down, they want me to fail in my life and never find a job again.
After I resigned from the place, I started to notice a huge increase in views by strangers, many people from all over the world are viewing my LinkedIn profile, my google maps reviews, my research-gate account, talking here about the platforms which allow stats for profile views, in addition to a change in my facebook and instagram algorithms showing me people I don't know and don't have mutual friends with in the people you may know section, I got two creepy messages on my WhatsApp from strange people.
They are doing something to totally ruin my reputation everywhere, so I can't go on with my life further.
They know every single detail about me, because they had my full documents when I worked with them.
I wonder what they are doing, and what can I do to counter that, they are so villains.
I closed some of my online accounts to mitigate the damage.

Helloo, my name is Yazan, and im 24 c: I have never posted something like this before so have no idea what the hell im supposed to type here xD but here we go.
Lately it feels like something is missing, with everything thats going on in my life, i feel like i need someone, someone i can call my peace, i dont really ask much of the other person, look wise i dont care, if things work, you'll be the most beautiful person in my eyes, i see the beauty inside, as long as we have some things in common and we can work it from there (just dont be taller than me lol) im 173cm, not that tall but not that short either, i hope xD. Im looking for a girl that can give me some affection, that can be there when needed, ofc same goes for me, and in return ill give her the world c:
Some little about me, i finished highschool and then kept changing programs in the university, but its just not for me and having some issues in my life that stopped me from continuing, i took the working road, so im a hard working person, saving as much money as i can so i can start something of my own in the future, thats the plan.
My interests hmmm, im obsessed with music, its just a big part of me xD i even made a playlist for every mood, happy to share them :). I love cars and i drive a lot, like a lot, i could use a passenger princess ;) And i play video games, pc preferably, but i have a ps5 that i used probably like once so if you're a ps player we can do something. I like to do all sorts of things too, this is not everything and id like to try new things but these are like my main interests, im not introverted also, but if you are im totally okay with that.
Soooo, just a few things to keep in mind, just pls dont be taller than me, or older, everything else can be worked around, id be more happy if we shared some interests too. Also i wish you could be near sweden, so its easier for us to meet, so i can drive there, ofc after we get comfortable with each other.
Okay i tried to make it as short as I can xD but we'll talk more, if you're interested dont hesitate:)

Hey women over 30, I am also a woman over 30 and I need some help/advice/kindness.
some background: i moved around a lot as a kid, have had fairly severe untreated anxiety my whole life as well as regular bouts of severe depression. a lot of trauma from my 20s including being the victim of a violent crime and SA. i have been on pretty much every mental health medication under the sun and to be frank none of them have helped. two years ago i was diagnosed w/ adhd and at first that medicine helped and things seemed good for a few months. i bought a home with my husband and we got married. i love him so much and he is a beacon of light in my life. but then i severely broke my leg and while i was home healing i lost the job i had for ten years. i was a hard worke and had multiple promotions there. so for most of 2023 i was in bed trying to find a job while my company made me stay on to help the replacements in order to recieve my severance. i started walking again but i will have issues with my leg forever. right now that means pain when i walk or stand but it’s not extreme it’s just exhausting. i should mention my husband is in the same industry and has not lost his job yet but it is not feel stable and he is looking with no hits yet. during all of this my mental and physical health continued to decline. my best friend of 12 years ghosted me and my elderly pet died also during this time frame as well as sick parents.
fast forward to now and i just started a well paying job however from the jump i knew there were red flags but i accepted it anyway because with tears in my eyes as i wrote this, i don’t know what else to do. other jobs aren’t calling. i’m worried i’m going to lose my husband or watch my mental health decline further and i don’t know even know what that would look like as i’m already not sleeping or eating. i leave for work crying and i come home crying. i am able to fake it well enough while i’m there that they don’t know what’s going on. they don’t talk to me at all and i’m training myself. the logical part of my brain says i need money, there is never enough money. coming off my injury fully insured with 12k in out of pocket expenses. everything is happening at once and i can’t catch my breath. i don’t know what to do. staying at this job seems like my only option but there is travel involved and this is the aspect of the job i seem to be unable to get over because of how hard it will be for me and my injury and mental health
please be kind i can’t handle anything else right now

Actually he is my uncle but he has been the father figure since I was around 10. I'm 23 now.
So I did something (cooked some onion) and he commented about how "that's not how it's done". I thought it was (mistakenly so) so I said "it is done like this". He repeats himself and so do I two or three times, after which he was getting visibly angry. Just his face, he was actually containing it, which was apparent.
But this was enough to trigger me (if you wish to know why this was triggering there's a recent post about it on my profile, trigger warning for physical violence and humiliation). He started to leave after doing some explaining and when he was walking away I said smt like "you're already getting crazy!" (Which in our language sounds kinda worse but idk how to translate) Meaning the visible anger on his face that triggered me was overreacting to me just contradicting him. Supposedly, me just bluntly replying "yes it's done like this" is provocative.
Anyways after hearing that he comes back and gets in my face. He wasn't going to hit me, that's "in the past", but he feinted and I turned my head, expecting a hit. Somehow we ended up talking for like two hours, there were many points we both wanted to get across to the other and I doubt there was much mutual understanding , but what's relevant to this post is that he made it known that things would be "worse" if I ever spoke to him like that. That he would beat me if I called him an idiot.
He showed me how he has been containing himself all this time, and that even know after saying you're going crazy he didn't hit me. That's true.
He said he really hates being offended. He told me that one time when he asked a worker that was doing stuff in our house for something, the dude just turned his back to him and my dad screamed so loudly the dude was startled. Like did a little jump.
I'm like: you think that's good for your health? You've been containing your temper lately, you think it's good? Repressing it even further will only make it worse in the long run and you will stop being so effective at restraining yourself when you want to. He seems to think he knows a thing or two about psychology so he replied with condescension at my suggestion that he needs to fix the anger issues instead of just controlling himself when they arise. Whatever.
It sucks. What's even worse is that most lf the time he is normal. Like 999/1000 times. Our baseline is good terms right now. But my subconscious still remembers, I haven't unpacked all those things yet. I don't like knowing that my father would beat me up for offending him. I don't like not saying something to him (even if it is calling him stupid) only because of fear of physical responses.
I told him many things, like how it sucks fearing my own father and he said "don't provoque me then".I painted a hypothetical situation in which I called him an idiot to ask him what would happen if he didn't react in an aggressive/violent manner, he replied and finished with "but better never call me that". I was like "wouldn't you stop to think why would your son call you that? Why would anybody call their dad that way if everything was good? Or why I said you were getting crazy?" And whatever the fuck his reply was to that it probably boiled down to "you have no business saying those things". Sure, calling someone an idiot isn't good. Focus on that. .
My repressed emotions to his attitude all this years were there in the conversation. I kept stopping because the knot in my throat wouldn't let me talk, tears on my eyes. This didn't seem to communicate anything to him.
I wonder what I'll do when I get stronger than him. I'd be so tempted to start something just to show him he can't overpower me anymore. I wouldn't even hit him, just restrain him and faking a hit just so he sees what it feels like. Even then, I don't think it compares to an adult doing that to a kid or teenager. He has heart issues though, and as much as I wish for payback, I feel like his rage would be so much worse after being restrained that his heart could worsen (also I understand revenge makes no real sense, forgive them Father for they not what they do, if he could understand he would).
Anyway. We hadn't had an altercation like this in a while, and it's the first time I actually said something like that to him. He won't hit me if I don't insult him. But his intimidating nature is still present at times, for example when I don't listen to him and stubbornly oppose him (it happens sometimes but I only with him, surprised?) And knowing he can get like violent or just verbally aggressive doesn't make the "good times" worth it. He is a "good charismatic person" basically all the time except when these things happen. But I'm at odds with the fact that if I ever fail to contain my subconscious resentment to him and call him something (motherfucker, idiot, stupid high-iq but low-eq controlling dumbfuck) I'll get beat up. I understand that healing is on me to stop walking on eggshells when he is around, but I'm starting to dislike him on a more conscious level now. Which is confusing too because everytime I've brought this up to my mother, she seemed to understand part of how I was feeling, but ultimately it boiled down to "he's family and will catch a bullet for you, will always drop anything he is doing when we need help". WHICH IS TRUE BUT I DON'T CARE
AITAH for wanting to keep interactions with him at the bare minimum?
EDIT: I'd love to move out. I live with my mom, grandma and grandpa. He lives in the city and comes by 1/2/3 times a week, frequently spending the night or two. I still love them, and especially my mom and her parents, but being able to fuck off whenever I need to without resorting to going some place or park would be great. But I can't. I'd put an extremely tough burden on my mom, she'd have no live left: she works a lot, grandpa is getting very old but main thing is taking care of my grandma, there are some things like lifting her that only I can do because grandpa is too old and uncle can't due to some tendon issues on his arms. Besides the option to start earning a metric shitload of money to retire her and be able to afford 24/7 elderly care personnel, do you have any ideas about how to approach this?
EDIT: at some point he brought up the "how much love we gave you" situation. Now here is what disturbs me. It's true, I've been given tons of love, patience, opoortunities, the works, not only from the rest of the family but from him as well. So I imagine myself as a parent that loves their kid so much, and then I imagine myself intimidating him because he called me crazy, or hitting him because he didn't listen and did something different from what we had agreed on, behind my back, for the millionth time. It feels wrong, it feels ignorant. I'd be wondering why the fuck does my son agree to do a certain thing and when it comes time to it, he does a different one. I'd start thinking about why he keeps lying about school grades, failing to pass the year even when he sees how bad it stresses his mother out... Instead of hitting him in the face with a closed fist (but hey, it wasn't full force!!) because he keeps lying and driving his mom crazy.
But hey, that's me. I'm "not the one to teach him about psychology"