I feel myself forums
ALL IS MIND
2019.03.08 11:01 allismind ALL IS MIND
šā¤ LLISMIND "For what would be the use of pain to me, what purpose would my suffering fulfill, and how would grief and loss avail me if insanity departs from me today, and I accept my holiness instead?"
2011.10.20 13:35 BronzeBas The Baldur's Gate Community
The unofficial reddit home of the original Baldur's Gate series and the Infinity Engine!
2017.04.06 04:32 Psmf_Diet Eating One Meal a Day
The Omad Diet or also called eating one meal a day, is a simplified way of eating that eliminates many other known dieting habits. There are many benefits that come with this simplified way of eating such as no more yo-yo dieting, more free time, and mental clarity. Visit https://omaddiet.com to learn more,
2024.05.17 11:21 SearchForLove 28[M4F] #chandigarh / #online - tall fit nerdy ambiverted creative guy who works in finance / programming.
What I'm looking for -
Anything goes really. We can spend quality time online or we can meet in real in a few weeks if you are closer to haryana or punjab or chandigarh or delhi . (I also visit mumbai sometimes )
(If you are from outside India, that's also fine since I don't care which part of the world I live in if I can be with someone I love.)
Then we can go for long walks, go on a date/outing. While I love physical affection like cuddles, hugs, kisses , I love a nice company too and will respect your boundaries if you don't want to be touched in the first meeting.
Ideally, I'm looking for a meaningful medium term relationship but which has a potential to turn into something everlasting in future. But I'm open to casual setups too in case you feel you aren't ready for serious commitment.
I don't understand people who go through traditional route of arrange marriages. How can they bypass this dating phase and jump into the nuptials directly. Also, if you don't test out the compatibility beforehand, you could very well end up in a deadbedroom situation, which is big cause of divorce.
Personality type :
Physically, I'm tall ( 6'0" ), cute, neither the most handsome nor ugly, average built and medium wheatish complexion.
I am a semi-introvert. - I don't have social anxiety or anything but I am avoidant of certain people, yet find it easy to talk to strangers. Although I can't approach women in real life. I'm pretty blunt by nature. I can speak well in stage and on public , get into conversations with Co-passengers in trains, buses etc. Yet, I feel intimidated/uncomfortable talking to my relatives, immediate neighbors, school friends. I'm fluent in English and Hindi.
I'm more the thinking type than feeling. But I do feel bad for hurting someone. I fall In love fast but do not get attached too fast.
I'm super blunt and straightforward. Sometimes chill, sometimes intense. I have great anger control, a friendly amicable temperament.
I prefer voice chat because although time is not an issue for me, we can express emotions clearly and I can explain myself more elaborately than text where I have to cut down. But texting is good too and has its own advantages. Or alternatively, if you are not comfortable speaking, you can just listen. I can sing you a song on call.
Hobbies and passions :
I love watching crime, thrillers and inspirational movies. I love reading books especially non fiction books and web articles, forums, blogs.
I like puzzle games / board games. . I don't play much video games anymore. But I can play to give you company. MOBA, FPS, anything .
I used to play all kinds of sports in my college days but now it's just football & badminton
submitted by SearchForLove to r4r [link] [comments]
Anything goes really. We can spend quality time online or we can meet in real in a few weeks if you are closer to haryana or punjab or chandigarh or delhi . (I also visit mumbai sometimes )
(If you are from outside India, that's also fine since I don't care which part of the world I live in if I can be with someone I love.)
Then we can go for long walks, go on a date/outing. While I love physical affection like cuddles, hugs, kisses , I love a nice company too and will respect your boundaries if you don't want to be touched in the first meeting.
Ideally, I'm looking for a meaningful medium term relationship but which has a potential to turn into something everlasting in future. But I'm open to casual setups too in case you feel you aren't ready for serious commitment.
I don't understand people who go through traditional route of arrange marriages. How can they bypass this dating phase and jump into the nuptials directly. Also, if you don't test out the compatibility beforehand, you could very well end up in a deadbedroom situation, which is big cause of divorce.
Personality type :
Physically, I'm tall ( 6'0" ), cute, neither the most handsome nor ugly, average built and medium wheatish complexion.
I am a semi-introvert. - I don't have social anxiety or anything but I am avoidant of certain people, yet find it easy to talk to strangers. Although I can't approach women in real life. I'm pretty blunt by nature. I can speak well in stage and on public , get into conversations with Co-passengers in trains, buses etc. Yet, I feel intimidated/uncomfortable talking to my relatives, immediate neighbors, school friends. I'm fluent in English and Hindi.
I'm more the thinking type than feeling. But I do feel bad for hurting someone. I fall In love fast but do not get attached too fast.
I'm super blunt and straightforward. Sometimes chill, sometimes intense. I have great anger control, a friendly amicable temperament.
I prefer voice chat because although time is not an issue for me, we can express emotions clearly and I can explain myself more elaborately than text where I have to cut down. But texting is good too and has its own advantages. Or alternatively, if you are not comfortable speaking, you can just listen. I can sing you a song on call.
Hobbies and passions :
I love watching crime, thrillers and inspirational movies. I love reading books especially non fiction books and web articles, forums, blogs.
I like puzzle games / board games. . I don't play much video games anymore. But I can play to give you company. MOBA, FPS, anything .
I used to play all kinds of sports in my college days but now it's just football & badminton
2024.05.17 11:08 domitare_ Relationships with other schizoids?
Howdy,
So upon realising I most likely have schizoid + reading people's experience on this sub and other platforms, I have felt both what is akin to a missing puzzle piece finally being found and a profound sense of unease/solemness.
While I myself am completely fine with my possible SzPD as I have 'enough' social relationships and am fine 'enough' at building relationships with others [and am perfectly happy not doing so], I've come to realise that one of the downsides to having SzPD is the possible lack of schizoid-to-schizoid relationships.
To elaborate, I think a lot of people with, for example, anxiety get along better with other people who have anxiety than with people who don't as they have similar experiences and understand eachother- and are different from other people in similar ways. But, though schizoids may relate to one another through the screen in a way no-one else in their personal life can, is it possible without extreme effort/healing to have a relationship [platonic or otherwise] with one another?
Not that we wouldn't get along, but the fundemental lack of wanting to communicate and just waiting for the other party to contact you first [atleast in my case] seems like a recipe for disaster. A fate where we would just go "we should talk more!" because we relate so strongly but never remember to or have the strength to actually keep in contact unless we'd see eachother everyday for a reason outside our control [like work or school]
I've personally never had a friendship or whatever with another schizoid, so this could all just be my anxiety and doomer-brain talking, so I wanted to know if anyone has first-hand experience like what i described OR had completely good and fine relations with other schizoids?
also, wanted to say, talking on a forum I feel is very different than like, texting or something so I wasn't talking abt that.
Cheers!
submitted by domitare_ to Schizoid [link] [comments]
So upon realising I most likely have schizoid + reading people's experience on this sub and other platforms, I have felt both what is akin to a missing puzzle piece finally being found and a profound sense of unease/solemness.
While I myself am completely fine with my possible SzPD as I have 'enough' social relationships and am fine 'enough' at building relationships with others [and am perfectly happy not doing so], I've come to realise that one of the downsides to having SzPD is the possible lack of schizoid-to-schizoid relationships.
To elaborate, I think a lot of people with, for example, anxiety get along better with other people who have anxiety than with people who don't as they have similar experiences and understand eachother- and are different from other people in similar ways. But, though schizoids may relate to one another through the screen in a way no-one else in their personal life can, is it possible without extreme effort/healing to have a relationship [platonic or otherwise] with one another?
Not that we wouldn't get along, but the fundemental lack of wanting to communicate and just waiting for the other party to contact you first [atleast in my case] seems like a recipe for disaster. A fate where we would just go "we should talk more!" because we relate so strongly but never remember to or have the strength to actually keep in contact unless we'd see eachother everyday for a reason outside our control [like work or school]
I've personally never had a friendship or whatever with another schizoid, so this could all just be my anxiety and doomer-brain talking, so I wanted to know if anyone has first-hand experience like what i described OR had completely good and fine relations with other schizoids?
also, wanted to say, talking on a forum I feel is very different than like, texting or something so I wasn't talking abt that.
Cheers!
2024.05.17 10:42 APmeditation My students first astral projection story
Hey Reddit,
I wanted to share an experience thatās been both mind-blowing and life-changing for me: my journey into astral projection.
A few months ago, I stumbled upon the concept of astral projection. At first, I was skeptical, thinking it was just another new-age fad. But the idea of experiencing something beyond the physical realm intrigued me, so I decided to give it a shot.
I started by doing a lot of research ā reading books, watching videos, and joining online forums. The more I learned, the more I wanted to experience it for myself. I practiced meditation regularly, focused on my breathing, and followed various techniques aimed at achieving astral projection. The one that worked best for me was the Monroe technique, which involves deep relaxation and visualizing oneself floating outside the body.
It didnāt happen overnight. For weeks, I felt like I was getting nowhere. But I kept at it. One night, after about a month of consistent practice, something incredible happened. I was lying in bed, deeply relaxed, and suddenly I felt a vibrating sensation throughout my body. It was intense, but I remembered what I had read ā to stay calm and let it happen. The vibrations grew stronger, and then I felt a pulling sensation. Before I knew it, I was hovering above my body, looking down at myself lying in bed.
The feeling was surreal. It wasnāt like a dream; everything felt vivid and real. I could see my room clearly, but it was as if I was perceiving it through different senses. I felt a sense of freedom that Iāve never experienced before. I floated around my room, then ventured outside, exploring my surroundings with a sense of wonder.
Since that first successful experience, Iāve been able to astral project a few more times. Each time, it gets easier, and Iām able to explore further. Iāve visited familiar places and even ventured to what felt like otherworldly realms. The sense of peace and connection I feel during these experiences is profound.
Of course, not everyone believes in astral projection, and thatās okay. All I can say is that itās been a transformative experience for me. Itās helped me understand that thereās more to our existence than just the physical. I feel more connected to myself and the universe.
If youāre curious about astral projection, my advice is to be patient and persistent. It takes time and practice, but the rewards are worth it. Start with meditation, focus on relaxation, and find a technique that resonates with you. And most importantly, keep an open mind.
Iād love to hear from others who have had similar experiences or are interested in astral projection. Letās share our journeys and learn from each other!
submitted by APmeditation to APMeditation [link] [comments]
I wanted to share an experience thatās been both mind-blowing and life-changing for me: my journey into astral projection.
A few months ago, I stumbled upon the concept of astral projection. At first, I was skeptical, thinking it was just another new-age fad. But the idea of experiencing something beyond the physical realm intrigued me, so I decided to give it a shot.
I started by doing a lot of research ā reading books, watching videos, and joining online forums. The more I learned, the more I wanted to experience it for myself. I practiced meditation regularly, focused on my breathing, and followed various techniques aimed at achieving astral projection. The one that worked best for me was the Monroe technique, which involves deep relaxation and visualizing oneself floating outside the body.
It didnāt happen overnight. For weeks, I felt like I was getting nowhere. But I kept at it. One night, after about a month of consistent practice, something incredible happened. I was lying in bed, deeply relaxed, and suddenly I felt a vibrating sensation throughout my body. It was intense, but I remembered what I had read ā to stay calm and let it happen. The vibrations grew stronger, and then I felt a pulling sensation. Before I knew it, I was hovering above my body, looking down at myself lying in bed.
The feeling was surreal. It wasnāt like a dream; everything felt vivid and real. I could see my room clearly, but it was as if I was perceiving it through different senses. I felt a sense of freedom that Iāve never experienced before. I floated around my room, then ventured outside, exploring my surroundings with a sense of wonder.
Since that first successful experience, Iāve been able to astral project a few more times. Each time, it gets easier, and Iām able to explore further. Iāve visited familiar places and even ventured to what felt like otherworldly realms. The sense of peace and connection I feel during these experiences is profound.
Of course, not everyone believes in astral projection, and thatās okay. All I can say is that itās been a transformative experience for me. Itās helped me understand that thereās more to our existence than just the physical. I feel more connected to myself and the universe.
If youāre curious about astral projection, my advice is to be patient and persistent. It takes time and practice, but the rewards are worth it. Start with meditation, focus on relaxation, and find a technique that resonates with you. And most importantly, keep an open mind.
Iād love to hear from others who have had similar experiences or are interested in astral projection. Letās share our journeys and learn from each other!
2024.05.17 09:57 Stunning-Dog-6861 Pre-Hrt ( MTF)
i feel a weird need to understand the opposite of what Iām going through. Or the opposite of what I am about to subject myself to. I am a (amab). The earliest days on the playground I can remember, I only was around girls, I only played with them, when I played with guys, (of course this is like 5-6 years old) I always chose feminine or pre-dominantly female characters. For instance if weāre playing power rangers. I have reports from my teacher saying that kids would say weird stuff to me because I wanted to be the girl ranger. When I was 8 I used to be hyper obsessive about this book that was by louis sachar sorry if I misspelled but he made the book called holes and small steps which are the only books I ever read in school voluntarily. he made a book about this boy who kissed his elbow and then thought he was a girl. When I was like 10 I would constantly try to kiss my elbow. As time went on. I begin to understand more and more of what was going on. And eventually I started cross-dressing. I never felt like cross dressing was some sort of sexual turn on and I needed to be in the mood to do it or whatever, I really only wore leggings and a shirt with a bra, or girls pants, a shirt and a bra. But whenever I was wearing those clothes I felt better. Iām not going to say that I felt cured. Iām not going to say that I felt like myself. At that time I was so young idk what was what. But with more time it became clear to me that Iām struggling with something. And I came out to my mom at 15-16. Although she was supportive. She sent me straight to therapy. Which ended up diagnosing me with anxiety. I spent from 15-16 to 23-24 (now) treating symptoms of anxiety which obviously have been caused by gender dysphoria. It wasnāt until I moved back to my moms house that I realized that Iāve been dishonest to myself and relied on my anxiety diagnosis to support my mental fallacies. Iāve had episodes where Iāve been red pill, no fap, strict diet, cold showers, working out for 2 years. Iāve tried my best to become what I thought was a real man in society. Ive been through several relationships with woman. And every time has ended up with me breaking up with them because I feel no sexual attraction towards them. one of my biggest critiques to myself was if I transitioned would it be offensive, or somewhat bothersome to natal females. (Afab). so the reason Iām asking this forum to have some sort of different perspective only this sub Reddit may provide
submitted by Stunning-Dog-6861 to ftm [link] [comments]
2024.05.17 09:33 nomuchodinero If You Don't Have Thing for Slipcovers... And for Those that Do. Thinking of setting up an inventory and would like some thoughts.
We should have like a fair trade/buying option somewhere on this forum for people to send their slipcovers in and keep an inventory to send them out. Something that's NOT labor intensive and I'm not looking to turn this into a for-profit business. I feel as collectors the scalpers really have a hold on us on such small things.
I'd be willing to volunteer to keep inventory of the one's that would like to get slipcovers for a certain movie and there will be full transparency. For example, I want to have all of my Kino films in their slipcovers eventually... If you're one of those people that toss them (or any slipcover) out you could just mail it in to me and once someone "buys it" for the amount of postage (a few stamps should do) and mailing in a 8.5" x 11" envelope (preferably one of those that the school pictures come in) that you paid for plus the cost of me putting the stamps and mailing out you'd get your costs back at that point. I'll send the funds right to you as soon as there's a buyer. Kind of like a middle man but I'll just be keeping inventory and doing the work of mailing out your slipcovers. It's a Win-Win situation.
So if it costs you $1 (or whatever seems a fair price) for it the buyer will pay $2 to mail it out to them. We can use Venmo or cash app for for the transactions and keep the slipcover post with the inventory pinned. Both buyers and sellers will be notified on that pinned post once there's some action. You can ask if there's someone that has a certain slipcover on that post or you can just go through the list and amount of slipcovers I have in supply. I'm creating more work for myself but don't mind doing it for this lovely community.
If everyone's fine with this (mods and admins) we can get the ball rolling.
Any thoughts or suggestions?
View Poll
submitted by nomuchodinero to 4kbluray [link] [comments]
I'd be willing to volunteer to keep inventory of the one's that would like to get slipcovers for a certain movie and there will be full transparency. For example, I want to have all of my Kino films in their slipcovers eventually... If you're one of those people that toss them (or any slipcover) out you could just mail it in to me and once someone "buys it" for the amount of postage (a few stamps should do) and mailing in a 8.5" x 11" envelope (preferably one of those that the school pictures come in) that you paid for plus the cost of me putting the stamps and mailing out you'd get your costs back at that point. I'll send the funds right to you as soon as there's a buyer. Kind of like a middle man but I'll just be keeping inventory and doing the work of mailing out your slipcovers. It's a Win-Win situation.
So if it costs you $1 (or whatever seems a fair price) for it the buyer will pay $2 to mail it out to them. We can use Venmo or cash app for for the transactions and keep the slipcover post with the inventory pinned. Both buyers and sellers will be notified on that pinned post once there's some action. You can ask if there's someone that has a certain slipcover on that post or you can just go through the list and amount of slipcovers I have in supply. I'm creating more work for myself but don't mind doing it for this lovely community.
If everyone's fine with this (mods and admins) we can get the ball rolling.
Any thoughts or suggestions?
View Poll
2024.05.17 09:27 Specialist_Cell2174 Some thoughts on life and academia.
I keep thinking about my experience in academia (Ph.D. and postdoc), an unsuccessful attempt to escape and how I dug my grave with my own hands.
I keep reading about recent developments in US biotech industry and its has been absolutely disheartening. The job market right now is awful and it has not bottomed out.
I cannot help, but thinking how did I arrive at this point and what could I have done to save myself???
I am speaking here about my experience in life sciences. I hope that the situation is better in other areas, but life sciences are absolutely over-saturated, over-flowing and under-paid area of STEM, probably along with chemistry.
Long time ago, after 1 year into the Ph.D. program, I got a weird feeling. I quietly approached people in the lab, with whom I was on friendly terms and they confirmed my worst expectations. Essentially, the unspoken (and un-communicated!!!) assumption was that after a year or so a Ph.D. student should show to the PI outstanding results, worthy of publication in "Nature", "Science" etc. Obviously, with no help, no guidance, no support. The PI did not want to tarnish his academic CV with publications in low- or medium-impact journals! So, if you could not show a potential for a publication in "Nature" (or similar journal), the PI would simply lose interest in you and "dis-own" you. This meant no support of any kind, no interest in your defense and no recommendation letter. Nothing! I saw this done to several people in our group. The PI tried (in some cases very successfully) to sabotage careers of his subordinates.
Remainder of my Ph.D. was absolute mental torture. I knew that without support of the PI I had not a single chance for academic career. Basically, academic career was dead for me. Every day I experienced a mental torture of senseless work. I knew that it was absolutely pointless to continue my Ph.D. The project was going nowhere. The PI lost all interest. By then I knew very well, how competitive and cutthroat was academia. I could have just sat in my office, collected stipend for another year or more and walked away. There was no point of doing anything. It was like digging a hole in the ground and then filling it back with same soil. Again and again and again! Every day! Coming to the lab, doing senseless work, knowing that it was all meaningless and continue doing it over and over -- just to have something to put in the thesis. This experience crippled me to the point that now I absolutely cannot stand any meaningless work.
I defended my Ph.D. and somehow got a postdoc in a shitty lab. 3 years of my postdoctoral experience could be described by one word: abuse! Constant lies, gaslighting, micromanagement, disrespect, threats, being underpaid, being overworked. I clearly remember that I cried because I did not have a courage to commit suicide.
I tried to seek on-line, on various forums advice on how to get out of this situation. To put it short, I was "trolled" and bullied by academics to the point of mental meltdown.
Recently I tried to find a career coach / mentor. Needless to say, my search was unsuccessful. There is no help out there! Sure, there are people that gladly will take your money in return to sugarcoated fluff. But that's it!
I have been thinking a lot about career coaching / career guidance. You know what? Absence of good advice / a lot of bad advice was, probably, a final "death blow" to my aspirations.
First of all, I did not understand how hiring works and no one explained it to me. It is not that there is a great mystery about hiring, it is that no one ever explained it to me. Secondly, I falsely believed that I could capitalize on Ph.D. itself and a set of so called "transferable skills". Lie! No one hires based on transferrable skills! Transferable skills == soft skills. If you have only transferable skills = soft skills, you can get a job of an admin assistant. Because you need good communication skills and critical thinking when scheduling meetings and taking minutes. But! If you have transferable skills and a Ph.D., you will NOT get a job of admin assistant, because you are "over-qualified".
I always knew that my Ph.D. in molecular biology was completely worthless! Yes, I had to learn every single method and protocol myself, without any help! Yes, I worked 60 hr and 80 hr weeks. But you cannot put this on resume and hope that HR will value it. Even today, years after I completed my Ph.D., I can explain every single methods and every single experiment that I did. Because I did everything on my own, without any help!!! I should be proud of myself, but I actually hate myself -- because I cannot sell it. Because market values "rock-stars", because market values what's trendy and what's in demand!
I was led astray by all this trash advice about "customizing your resume" and "highlighting transferrable skills". I have missed an opportunity of a lifetime!!! 5 or 6 years ago people, who attended coding bootcamps, could actually get a job as a programmer!!! Yes, not too long ago employers were actually scooping people, who completed coding bootcamps!!! That would have been my chance of getting the hell out of academia. I had a gut feeling that my Ph.D. was a complete waste of time, I suspected that I need to write-off Ph.D. as a loss and re-educate myself completely to have a chance! And I have missed an opportunity of a lifetime to learn how to code, to get into bootcamp, to get an entry-level coding job and move on from there. Now there are ongoing layoffs in tech and job market is flooded with junior coders. The gates are closed.
Instead, I wasted my time tinkering / customizing my resume and thinking how to sell "transferrable skills". Wrong, wrong, wrong! I do not think that anything like it will ever come again. When you can teach yourself, when you can get through the bootcamp and get into a field with good pay and career growth!!!
To all people out there: I cannot stress enough, watch out for bad advice!!! Look for a good advice -- its worth it's weight in gold!
submitted by Specialist_Cell2174 to LeavingAcademia [link] [comments]
I keep reading about recent developments in US biotech industry and its has been absolutely disheartening. The job market right now is awful and it has not bottomed out.
I cannot help, but thinking how did I arrive at this point and what could I have done to save myself???
I am speaking here about my experience in life sciences. I hope that the situation is better in other areas, but life sciences are absolutely over-saturated, over-flowing and under-paid area of STEM, probably along with chemistry.
Long time ago, after 1 year into the Ph.D. program, I got a weird feeling. I quietly approached people in the lab, with whom I was on friendly terms and they confirmed my worst expectations. Essentially, the unspoken (and un-communicated!!!) assumption was that after a year or so a Ph.D. student should show to the PI outstanding results, worthy of publication in "Nature", "Science" etc. Obviously, with no help, no guidance, no support. The PI did not want to tarnish his academic CV with publications in low- or medium-impact journals! So, if you could not show a potential for a publication in "Nature" (or similar journal), the PI would simply lose interest in you and "dis-own" you. This meant no support of any kind, no interest in your defense and no recommendation letter. Nothing! I saw this done to several people in our group. The PI tried (in some cases very successfully) to sabotage careers of his subordinates.
Remainder of my Ph.D. was absolute mental torture. I knew that without support of the PI I had not a single chance for academic career. Basically, academic career was dead for me. Every day I experienced a mental torture of senseless work. I knew that it was absolutely pointless to continue my Ph.D. The project was going nowhere. The PI lost all interest. By then I knew very well, how competitive and cutthroat was academia. I could have just sat in my office, collected stipend for another year or more and walked away. There was no point of doing anything. It was like digging a hole in the ground and then filling it back with same soil. Again and again and again! Every day! Coming to the lab, doing senseless work, knowing that it was all meaningless and continue doing it over and over -- just to have something to put in the thesis. This experience crippled me to the point that now I absolutely cannot stand any meaningless work.
I defended my Ph.D. and somehow got a postdoc in a shitty lab. 3 years of my postdoctoral experience could be described by one word: abuse! Constant lies, gaslighting, micromanagement, disrespect, threats, being underpaid, being overworked. I clearly remember that I cried because I did not have a courage to commit suicide.
I tried to seek on-line, on various forums advice on how to get out of this situation. To put it short, I was "trolled" and bullied by academics to the point of mental meltdown.
Recently I tried to find a career coach / mentor. Needless to say, my search was unsuccessful. There is no help out there! Sure, there are people that gladly will take your money in return to sugarcoated fluff. But that's it!
I have been thinking a lot about career coaching / career guidance. You know what? Absence of good advice / a lot of bad advice was, probably, a final "death blow" to my aspirations.
First of all, I did not understand how hiring works and no one explained it to me. It is not that there is a great mystery about hiring, it is that no one ever explained it to me. Secondly, I falsely believed that I could capitalize on Ph.D. itself and a set of so called "transferable skills". Lie! No one hires based on transferrable skills! Transferable skills == soft skills. If you have only transferable skills = soft skills, you can get a job of an admin assistant. Because you need good communication skills and critical thinking when scheduling meetings and taking minutes. But! If you have transferable skills and a Ph.D., you will NOT get a job of admin assistant, because you are "over-qualified".
I always knew that my Ph.D. in molecular biology was completely worthless! Yes, I had to learn every single method and protocol myself, without any help! Yes, I worked 60 hr and 80 hr weeks. But you cannot put this on resume and hope that HR will value it. Even today, years after I completed my Ph.D., I can explain every single methods and every single experiment that I did. Because I did everything on my own, without any help!!! I should be proud of myself, but I actually hate myself -- because I cannot sell it. Because market values "rock-stars", because market values what's trendy and what's in demand!
I was led astray by all this trash advice about "customizing your resume" and "highlighting transferrable skills". I have missed an opportunity of a lifetime!!! 5 or 6 years ago people, who attended coding bootcamps, could actually get a job as a programmer!!! Yes, not too long ago employers were actually scooping people, who completed coding bootcamps!!! That would have been my chance of getting the hell out of academia. I had a gut feeling that my Ph.D. was a complete waste of time, I suspected that I need to write-off Ph.D. as a loss and re-educate myself completely to have a chance! And I have missed an opportunity of a lifetime to learn how to code, to get into bootcamp, to get an entry-level coding job and move on from there. Now there are ongoing layoffs in tech and job market is flooded with junior coders. The gates are closed.
Instead, I wasted my time tinkering / customizing my resume and thinking how to sell "transferrable skills". Wrong, wrong, wrong! I do not think that anything like it will ever come again. When you can teach yourself, when you can get through the bootcamp and get into a field with good pay and career growth!!!
To all people out there: I cannot stress enough, watch out for bad advice!!! Look for a good advice -- its worth it's weight in gold!
2024.05.17 08:16 TheStrongestSide I Need Some Genuine Support From This Community At 22 Days PMO Free
32yo, autistic (aspergers/high functioning) and used PMO as a coping mechanism since I was around 11-13yo. Frequency over the years on average was probably 2-3 times per week. Some weeks in recent years once a day. I delved into researching all the No Fap and PMO related content to try and understand it as I was getting severely worsening anxiety, panic attacks and crying spells out of almost nowhere along with suicidal thoughts. The panic attacks started in 2017 and I've had them on and off since then. I turned to No Fap and anti PMO related forums, videos and communities in an effort to possibly "cure" my panic attacks. I know they won't ever be completely gone but managed to a level where I don't experience them anymore.
I've been doing cold showers, exercise (cardio and weight training), eating a very clean diet, box breathing as a meditation type of thing morning and night, reading for 1 hour before bed every night with soft lighting and it has been working pretty great to keep my anxiety and level of stimulation low. I started an animation degree at the beginning of this year with the goal of learning 3D animation (have completed a diploma in animation last year) but currently all we're doing is 2D which I know is part of the degree and I've got to just get through it, but I'm struggling to stay motivated in the course while on No Fap/PMO.
I'm on day 22 of No Fap currently and I've previously gotten to day 49 earlier this year and felt great (although I wasn't working or studying at that time). Currently I'm not struggling with urges towards PMO. I've installed blockers on my PC and am somehow managing to not even think about PMO? Occasionally my mind will start to move in that direction for a second and I'll just remind myself what I've been saying since the start of this streak "no matter what". That means for me that no matter what, I'll stay the course. So far that's working.
What's really hitting me this past week or two is a lot of ADHD-like symptoms that I didn't really have while using PMO. My mind has been racing at times on and off and I just feel very disregulated. What's strange is I don't feel depressed at all, no brain fog (aside from stress induced minor brain fog) and I have plenty of energy at pretty much all times. Are these ADHD-like symptoms just simply withdrawal effects? I just need some suggestions and support really. I don't feel at risk of relapsing what-so-ever which is a relief at least.
submitted by TheStrongestSide to NoFap [link] [comments]
I've been doing cold showers, exercise (cardio and weight training), eating a very clean diet, box breathing as a meditation type of thing morning and night, reading for 1 hour before bed every night with soft lighting and it has been working pretty great to keep my anxiety and level of stimulation low. I started an animation degree at the beginning of this year with the goal of learning 3D animation (have completed a diploma in animation last year) but currently all we're doing is 2D which I know is part of the degree and I've got to just get through it, but I'm struggling to stay motivated in the course while on No Fap/PMO.
I'm on day 22 of No Fap currently and I've previously gotten to day 49 earlier this year and felt great (although I wasn't working or studying at that time). Currently I'm not struggling with urges towards PMO. I've installed blockers on my PC and am somehow managing to not even think about PMO? Occasionally my mind will start to move in that direction for a second and I'll just remind myself what I've been saying since the start of this streak "no matter what". That means for me that no matter what, I'll stay the course. So far that's working.
What's really hitting me this past week or two is a lot of ADHD-like symptoms that I didn't really have while using PMO. My mind has been racing at times on and off and I just feel very disregulated. What's strange is I don't feel depressed at all, no brain fog (aside from stress induced minor brain fog) and I have plenty of energy at pretty much all times. Are these ADHD-like symptoms just simply withdrawal effects? I just need some suggestions and support really. I don't feel at risk of relapsing what-so-ever which is a relief at least.
2024.05.17 06:46 Weirix95 Help a non-computer whiz go from vanilla minecraft to modded in simple terms?
Hey there, I hope this finds you well.
I'll try to keep this short and sweet. I bought minecraft on my laptop a few months ago to play it for the first time, it downloaded as 1.20.4 java edition. I've been playing it vanilla since then, and ive been looking to spice it up a bit. A couple weeks ago, minecraft itself forced an update to 1.20.6, so now I guess thats the version I have, 1.20.6 java edition.
I've looked online and I've been trying to do some research, but I'll admit to you guys, I am not exactly a computer whiz. Every video or forum I've found seems to just throw a thousand different names of shaders, mod packs, e.t.c. in my face while listing off "OPTIFINE, FORGE, RUST, FABRIC, SODIUM" and a slue of file names all at one time, and it just gets so completely overwhelming because nobody seems to pander to the slower crowd and give simple, easy, step by step instructions as to what you need and why, and how to get it. I feel like most of them just assume you already know everything about everything and just refuse to accommodate someone who comes in not knowing their feet from their ears.
I tried optifine, cause most of my research kept bringing up that name as a good option, however the optifine website only had programs up to 1.20.4, so I assumed it wouldnt work. I found a couple websites online that seemed to offer optifine 1.20.6, but they seemed sketchy as hell and I got nervous.
I suppose this sounds childish, but I'm honestly just a simple guy who is good enough with computers, but no whiz. And I wanted to make my game look a bit nicer, maybe add some fun stuff to it, nothing crazy. but my over all experience with this just makes me reluctant to even try anything because its all presented in complex and complicated ways that I just cant understand it. I'm irritated and kind of depressed, if I'm honest.
Can anyone, like I'm 5, explain to me what all this stuff means, and how I can simply achieve what I'm looking for? or give me resources to find it out for myself? again, in ways that are extremely simple and easy to understand. not just throwing file names and program names at me. like, sincere, actual explanations of the process. I'd really appreciate it.
submitted by Weirix95 to Minecraft [link] [comments]
I'll try to keep this short and sweet. I bought minecraft on my laptop a few months ago to play it for the first time, it downloaded as 1.20.4 java edition. I've been playing it vanilla since then, and ive been looking to spice it up a bit. A couple weeks ago, minecraft itself forced an update to 1.20.6, so now I guess thats the version I have, 1.20.6 java edition.
I've looked online and I've been trying to do some research, but I'll admit to you guys, I am not exactly a computer whiz. Every video or forum I've found seems to just throw a thousand different names of shaders, mod packs, e.t.c. in my face while listing off "OPTIFINE, FORGE, RUST, FABRIC, SODIUM" and a slue of file names all at one time, and it just gets so completely overwhelming because nobody seems to pander to the slower crowd and give simple, easy, step by step instructions as to what you need and why, and how to get it. I feel like most of them just assume you already know everything about everything and just refuse to accommodate someone who comes in not knowing their feet from their ears.
I tried optifine, cause most of my research kept bringing up that name as a good option, however the optifine website only had programs up to 1.20.4, so I assumed it wouldnt work. I found a couple websites online that seemed to offer optifine 1.20.6, but they seemed sketchy as hell and I got nervous.
I suppose this sounds childish, but I'm honestly just a simple guy who is good enough with computers, but no whiz. And I wanted to make my game look a bit nicer, maybe add some fun stuff to it, nothing crazy. but my over all experience with this just makes me reluctant to even try anything because its all presented in complex and complicated ways that I just cant understand it. I'm irritated and kind of depressed, if I'm honest.
Can anyone, like I'm 5, explain to me what all this stuff means, and how I can simply achieve what I'm looking for? or give me resources to find it out for myself? again, in ways that are extremely simple and easy to understand. not just throwing file names and program names at me. like, sincere, actual explanations of the process. I'd really appreciate it.
2024.05.17 06:40 New-Situation4900 August LSAT advice.
Hi everyone, I feel like I'm at an intersection in my LSAT studying journey and I need some advice!
So before we start here are some facts: 1- I only started studying for the LAST in the last 3 months. 2- English is my second language. 3- My undergrad was very technical & quantitative.
So early February I took a diagnostic test and scored 143. I tried to follow Khan Academy's curriculum, but it didn't feel structured enough for me, so I switched to 7Sage about two months ago. On average I'm putting around 8 hours a week into LSAT studying, and I'm planning to write the LSAT in August. My goal (although might be ambitious) is to score at least 170.
Two weeks into 7Sage and after I finished the foundation module, I took another PT and scored 149 & BR 151. Two weeks later, I was about 30% through the LR module, I took another PT and scored 156 and BR 158. This last weekend, I was a little over 60% through the LR module, I scored 153 and BR 162.
In RC, I'm facing the same issue as everyone else, TIME! I consistently find myself with only 1 min left for passage #4. However, for the three passages that I actually have enough time to read through. I'm scoring fairly well (I think). For example, in my last PT I got 16 questions right and only 3 wrong, that's for the first three passages in the first RC section, and these are fairly consistent with the results of the other RC sections.
In LR, I find myself running out of time but because I know I have a terrible time management strategy of skipping harder questions so I end up spending 3+ mins on one question, and then do not have time for the last 5 question in that section that I think I would have gotten, at least some of them right. Additionally, I found myself getting stagnant in my LR progress in the last few weeks.
My questions are: 1- Would it be wise to stop studying for LR for a bit and focus on RC? My reasoning is that I think there's a big room for improving my RC skills (considering I've never studied for it), and even a marginal improvement would boost my score by a few points. Also, I'm hoping that a break from LR might help me get a fresh perspective when I return to it after two weeks.
2- Considering my tight timeline to write the LSAT, I was thinking of getting private tutoring in about a month from now to hopefully help me boost my score, do you think that's worth it? From the people who did get private tutors, how was your experience?
3- Are my numbers good considering all the facts mentioned above? Is 170 an attainable goal for me? I know I need to improve my studying strategy and I need to put in more hours drilling and not just going through the curriculum. The question is, by how much do I need to increase the number of weekly studying hours in order to get to 170 by August?
submitted by New-Situation4900 to LSAT [link] [comments]
So before we start here are some facts: 1- I only started studying for the LAST in the last 3 months. 2- English is my second language. 3- My undergrad was very technical & quantitative.
So early February I took a diagnostic test and scored 143. I tried to follow Khan Academy's curriculum, but it didn't feel structured enough for me, so I switched to 7Sage about two months ago. On average I'm putting around 8 hours a week into LSAT studying, and I'm planning to write the LSAT in August. My goal (although might be ambitious) is to score at least 170.
Two weeks into 7Sage and after I finished the foundation module, I took another PT and scored 149 & BR 151. Two weeks later, I was about 30% through the LR module, I took another PT and scored 156 and BR 158. This last weekend, I was a little over 60% through the LR module, I scored 153 and BR 162.
In RC, I'm facing the same issue as everyone else, TIME! I consistently find myself with only 1 min left for passage #4. However, for the three passages that I actually have enough time to read through. I'm scoring fairly well (I think). For example, in my last PT I got 16 questions right and only 3 wrong, that's for the first three passages in the first RC section, and these are fairly consistent with the results of the other RC sections.
In LR, I find myself running out of time but because I know I have a terrible time management strategy of skipping harder questions so I end up spending 3+ mins on one question, and then do not have time for the last 5 question in that section that I think I would have gotten, at least some of them right. Additionally, I found myself getting stagnant in my LR progress in the last few weeks.
My questions are: 1- Would it be wise to stop studying for LR for a bit and focus on RC? My reasoning is that I think there's a big room for improving my RC skills (considering I've never studied for it), and even a marginal improvement would boost my score by a few points. Also, I'm hoping that a break from LR might help me get a fresh perspective when I return to it after two weeks.
2- Considering my tight timeline to write the LSAT, I was thinking of getting private tutoring in about a month from now to hopefully help me boost my score, do you think that's worth it? From the people who did get private tutors, how was your experience?
3- Are my numbers good considering all the facts mentioned above? Is 170 an attainable goal for me? I know I need to improve my studying strategy and I need to put in more hours drilling and not just going through the curriculum. The question is, by how much do I need to increase the number of weekly studying hours in order to get to 170 by August?
2024.05.17 05:54 Thubanstar Open Forum Friday: Friday, May 17, 2024 - Little Things
 | submitted by Thubanstar to Snorkblot [link] [comments] You bring me joy. Good morning, good evening, and everything in between! Welcome to our Open Forum Friday where we open up the discussion board for any topic for anybody (rules and exceptions apply). Way back almost a quarter of a century ago, Prince Charles had a hissy fit because he could not get ahold of Hellman's mayonnaise for his egg sandwiches. I remember this because I'm the same way. It's not a sandwich to me without mayo, preferably Hellman's. I won't die without Hellman's, but I'll hate that sandwich as I chew. Sometimes, I do a little mind exercise with myself. I imagine what six things, which are not essential to survival but important to me, I would want most if they disappeared. When it comes to the small stuff, we tend to take it for granted, until we can't get it. So, this is my list of small stuff I feel I need.
Basically, we all need shelter of some kind, food, clean water, and somewhere we can go to safely dispose of different wastes to survive. But I'm telling you, even in a survival situation, I would miss my trivial pleasures just as much if not more so than things I actually need to live. What little things would you miss the most if they were gone? **************************** We had 30 entries for this past week's theme of RIDE. My favorite three were;
This next week, I want you to go wild, I want you to run free, I want you to go BANANAS. I hope you find the thought a-peel-ing. Sorry, that was my best BANANA pun. BTW, I'm going to make a tradition of quoting Essen's statement in the last OFF. It goes thusly- "If you have something you wish to write about, send us a message with your OFF article. (No promises as in if or when it will be posted!) You can always post your own "Member Essay", here on Snorkblot." That's it for this week, folks! Have a great weekend and I'll see you in the threads. |
2024.05.17 05:49 ValuableImpress8014 Just need to vent. Had second retrieval today
I just need to vent to basically the only forum and group of people that I feel I can get some good, and/or honest feedback from.
38 1/2, I had my first retrieval two months ago, it went pretty easily after all the nerves and everything, and they pulled 16 eggs and 11 of them frozen.
I had my second retrieval this morning, just because I wanted to make sure I had some better odds in my favor, although I was pleased with the 11 initially. In this second round, my Follistim dose was higher, and I felt a stemmed a little bit longer, and knew a little bit more what to expect. But I also thought that my baseline follicle count was actually a little bit higher, and felt that the cohort was growing, a little bit more evenly, although a little more slowly.
Today they pulled 12 eggs and froze eight, but I donāt know if I was cocky or just thinking that the second round would be even a little bit better than the first, due to more initial follicles and a longer stem and everything. I told myself that I would do two cycles max, and I was even surprised that I opted to do a second cycle to begin with. I was really hoping that I would match or exceeded the number of eggs , so excited to see my total be somewhere in the 20s, and Iām just one shy at 19.
Iām honestly not even sure if I want kids, and I donāt know if itās the combination of the hormones, or being pissed and at the end of my rope and ready to kick out my boyfriend, or Iām just grieving the life decisions that have brought me here down a path that is a little bit expensive still feels like a question mark.
Can somebody just give me some soothing words here that 19 is a fairly good batch, that I have decent odds if I want to take it up in the future, that I shouldnāt feel disappointed as Iām feeling right now?
Please and thank you. Iāve been feeling sad all day.
submitted by ValuableImpress8014 to eggfreezing [link] [comments]
38 1/2, I had my first retrieval two months ago, it went pretty easily after all the nerves and everything, and they pulled 16 eggs and 11 of them frozen.
I had my second retrieval this morning, just because I wanted to make sure I had some better odds in my favor, although I was pleased with the 11 initially. In this second round, my Follistim dose was higher, and I felt a stemmed a little bit longer, and knew a little bit more what to expect. But I also thought that my baseline follicle count was actually a little bit higher, and felt that the cohort was growing, a little bit more evenly, although a little more slowly.
Today they pulled 12 eggs and froze eight, but I donāt know if I was cocky or just thinking that the second round would be even a little bit better than the first, due to more initial follicles and a longer stem and everything. I told myself that I would do two cycles max, and I was even surprised that I opted to do a second cycle to begin with. I was really hoping that I would match or exceeded the number of eggs , so excited to see my total be somewhere in the 20s, and Iām just one shy at 19.
Iām honestly not even sure if I want kids, and I donāt know if itās the combination of the hormones, or being pissed and at the end of my rope and ready to kick out my boyfriend, or Iām just grieving the life decisions that have brought me here down a path that is a little bit expensive still feels like a question mark.
Can somebody just give me some soothing words here that 19 is a fairly good batch, that I have decent odds if I want to take it up in the future, that I shouldnāt feel disappointed as Iām feeling right now?
Please and thank you. Iāve been feeling sad all day.
2024.05.17 05:34 Rainyfriedtofu Clov as a meme, Clov's reddit, and Andrew's recent comments regarding saas
 | Hello fellow apes, submitted by Rainyfriedtofu to Healthcare_Anon [link] [comments] This is going to be a long post because there are several topics I want to discuss with you all. We will cover three main points:
I know some groups are trying to label Clover Health as a meme stock due to the recent price surge following Roaringkitty's tweet. However, this was not a short squeeze. Instead, it was an organic movement driven by several factors: shorts exiting their positions, fears of a potential squeeze, positive news for Clover Health, and institutional buying. The company was undervalued, being priced as if it were on the brink of bankruptcy, despite being a sustainable and profitable company outperforming larger competitors like United Healthcare, Aetna, CVS, and Humana. The medical cost ratio (MCR) is strong, the company isn't retreating from any markets, it has a margin of $4k per member, and it's about to announce a new SaaS offering that is currently under NDA. We can dive deeper into this issue later, for now, let just focus on some basic graph. https://preview.redd.it/y1qxvscq6w0d1.png?width=1988&format=png&auto=webp&s=0208955375a3271c1f907a421f4de250ced5d108 https://preview.redd.it/qudnu7l57w0d1.png?width=2032&format=png&auto=webp&s=f87c42968ffc4ff3c6720f58299a816d871e962e https://preview.redd.it/d2m0z10r7w0d1.png?width=4982&format=png&auto=webp&s=fee9b4e460d2956816309a2dc8957fa232454069 https://preview.redd.it/vdk5lc0r7w0d1.png?width=4982&format=png&auto=webp&s=fdadf9714993f810a237310e2aa1f7d1dc096005 https://preview.redd.it/pe59g20r7w0d1.png?width=4980&format=png&auto=webp&s=0dabd1a2a16e2a68527aeadd050532f09a16460d https://preview.redd.it/6cy8g3y48w0d1.png?width=1598&format=png&auto=webp&s=e44d98796c89ad13f56d7b91aa40e465d8178c9f Analyzing both the company's performance and indicators of market manipulation, Clover Health (CLOV) does not align with the trading patterns of prominent meme stocks like GameStop (GME) or AMC Theatres (AMC), particularly in terms of moving averages. In recent days, the stock movements of Clover Health have been organic, indicating that it is distancing itself from its previous reputation as a meme stock. Despite this shift, some individuals continue to promote the narrative that Clover Health remains a meme stock, primarily because they benefit from short-selling it. Since 2021, these short sellers have capitalized on inflating the stock price to $28.85 by encouraging retail investors to buy heavily, which drew significant attention to the stock. However, since that spike, there has been a concerted effort to label Clover Health as a meme stock doomed to fail, despite the company showing marked improvement. Recent earnings reports from Clover Health demonstrate that it is outperforming traditional healthcare companies, both in terms of the Medical Cost Ratio (MCR) and managed care, further disproving the fading meme stock narrative. https://www.reddit.com/Healthcare_Anon/comments/1crgmjp/comparison_of_moocaos_23q4_projections_vs_moocaos/ In short, the company is doing well and has the potential to compete with larger companies that are currently in trouble due to years of neglecting its managed care populations. However, on the issue of stock manipulation, I was made of the various groups of brigades occupying the clover health reddit. https://www.reddit.com/CLOV/ When my friends and I noticed that short sellers were using the Clover Health Reddit forum to manipulate stock prices through tactics like dog whistling and spreading FUD (fear, uncertainty, and doubt), we quickly set up a dataset to document all instances of misinformation, dog whistles, and identify those responsible. Given the legal implications, I felt compelled to act, especially since I was also a moderator on the Clov Reddit forum at the time. To address this, I gathered the evidence and presented it to the other moderators, hoping we could collaborate to report and stop the manipulative activities occurring on the forum. Unfortunately, my concerns were dismissed, and the other moderators tried to convince me that it was not a significant issue. Below is the conversation I had with the moderators. For reference, 'Jimmi' goes by the username Thisisjimmi on Reddit. https://preview.redd.it/yb47of7ecw0d1.png?width=1380&format=png&auto=webp&s=a4404a6b3719d7f56f7e3b36b8516f24b7cc8e9b Since the mods did not agree with me, I resigned from my position. The boys and I also filed reports with the SEC and Clover Investor Relations to inform them of the occurring stock manipulations. About a week later, I got a message from Jimmi on discord which I ignored. https://preview.redd.it/nu6z8krtdw0d1.png?width=1140&format=png&auto=webp&s=7e0f040238611fd1f8f104d861bc4879dc85849c I find it ironic that after I reported certain individuals to the SEC and Clover Health's Investor Relations (IR) team for unethical behavior, these same individuals threatened to report me to the SEC. Following my report, messages flooded the forum suggesting that no action would be taken. At that time, I wasnāt overly concerned; my primary goal was to perform my due diligence to protect myself should the issue escalate in the future. We continued to document everything and sent the information to the SEC to safeguard ourselves. Initially, it seemed like nothing would come of our reports. However, suddenly and inexplicably, only the Clover Health subreddit began experiencing technical "glitches." https://preview.redd.it/m4t2xvcvew0d1.png?width=2525&format=png&auto=webp&s=43cd76e43fbc0b4c627cd96b6e9bff1285d56d0c https://preview.redd.it/9v2e9ziafw0d1.png?width=2535&format=png&auto=webp&s=9ef47c768d73da55cf969b8a4cebf1246fcf2eda From the screenshot provided, it's clear that something unusual occurred. Historically, the Clover Health subreddit has never reached over 6,900 members online at onceānot even during the peak of the $28 pump-and-dump event. This spike lasted for about five minutes and then disappeared. A few weeks later, there was another strange incident where the subreddit seemed to vanish for approximately two minutes. I have a screenshot of this incident, but I need to locate it. No other subreddit experienced these issues, leading us to suspect that it might have been due to website flash mirroring. Despite ongoing stock manipulation, no significant action was taken until a recent development: during Clover Health's latest earnings announcement, Andrew Toy introduced a $20 million stock buyback program. A fucking penny stock doing a stock buyback. This was when we knew that Clover IR was listening, and they responded in the best way possible. https://www.reddit.com/Healthcare_Anon/comments/1cmw9xk/clover_health_q1_earning_brief_andrew_troy_is_an/ It was at this moment that I felt ready to explain the reason behind the creation of this Reddit. I am passionate about writing on healthcare topics and educating others. However, I could not justify continuing to contribute to a subreddit that was involved in manipulating stock prices. Such actions can lead to people losing their livelihoods, and in extreme cases, even their lives. In my view, the behavior of those short-selling the stock is cruel, and I refuse to be part of such activities. The activities on our subreddit, Healthcare_Anon, have evolved significantly. Initially focused on Clover Health, our scope has broadened to cover a substantial portion of the healthcare sector. This expansion is likely because many of us work in healthcare and are committed to being the change we want to see in the world. This broader focus has led to discussions like the recent post about Andrew's presentation at the Bank of America Healthcare Conference. https://www.linkedin.com/posts/toyand_im-at-the-bank-of-america-healthcare-conference-activity-7196533524701552640-u_6P/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=member_ios Toy basically reiterated Moocao's findings when he did the DD of their recent earnings. "Aetna and Humana are being very clear right now that they need to prioritize margin and profit restoration in the next few years and they will slow growth and even shrink in order to do that." https://www.reddit.com/Healthcare_Anon/comments/1cjpur9/cvs_q1_2024_earnings_analysis_earnings_call10q/ https://www.reddit.com/Healthcare_Anon/comments/1ckys79/alhc_q1_2024_earnings_analysis_earnings_call10q/ https://www.reddit.com/Healthcare_Anon/comments/1ce2ps8/humana_q1_2024_earnings_analysis_part_1_earnings/ These companies will need to scale back if they aim to remain profitable because their profit margins are diminishing. In contrast, Clover Health's margins are improving. This shift occurred because traditional healthcare insurers focused too heavily on pursuing growth, becoming complacent with rising healthcare premiums and relying on the Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services (CMS) to continually adjust rates to support this growth. Meanwhile, they invested minimally in developing infrastructure to enhance their managed care systems and the overall health of their populations. Andrew Toy echoed a point we've been discussing for months: these companies are too large and established to adapt quickly to the ongoing and forthcoming changes in the Medicare Advantage (MA) program and CMS regulations. Recovery will take years, and while we have hypotheses about the timing, Moocao is waiting for a few more earnings reports to solidify his theory. Unfortunately, there's been a misunderstanding regarding Andrew's post; some people think he plans to sell Clover Assistant. I want to clarify this point. Those who believe he would sell the platform are overlooking the reality of the competitive landscape. Major companies like UnitedHealth (UNH) and Epic dominate the market, and they are not going to relinquish their positions easily. They will undoubtedly invest in developing their own solutions to tackle issues related to the CMS-HCC V28 and upcoming policy changes. "And the answer is - yes we believe there is a huge opportunity to bring the power of the CA platform to providers to use with any payor. It would likely have a much lower per-life customer acquisition cost than the Medicare Advantage plan and we would aim to allow physicians to use the same tool for all their MA patients (a common request). Because of our technology background, weād aim to support per member per month (PMPM) SaaS-like recurring revenue models. Because of our Insurance background, weād also be very comfortable taking value-based risk.And most importantly, weāll be improving patient health outcomes by giving as many physicians as possible access to data and AI for the purpose of managing chronic disease.I feel the current market disruption is very much in our favor." Additionally, itās important to recognize that Clover Health has consistently positioned itself as a physician enablement insurance company. Clover plans to sell the Clover Assistant (CA) to physician offices, integrating it with their existing electronic health records (EHR) systems. Moreover, you should consider the unique advantages ("moats") that make Clover Health distinct and difficult for traditional companies to replicate. Also, why are some people overlooking Andrew's comments about Aetna and Humana lacking agility? It's unrealistic to think these companies could seamlessly integrate Clover Assistant into their systems overnight. The integration works for Clover because the insurance company was specifically built around the Clover Assistant, not the other way around. Furthermore, we must not overlook the role of various healthcare brokers (clearance houses) in each region, which adds another layer of uniqueness to Clover's approach. If you want to delve deeper into why Clover Healthās model is unique, you can refer to my previous posts. https://www.reddit.com/Healthcare_Anon/comments/1bpnf5p/clover_healths_diamond_mine_irb_hipaa_p4_and_ai/ The key point I'm trying to convey is that a deep understanding of healthcare from an administrator's perspective is essential to appreciate why Clover Health (Clov) is intensely focused on physicians rather than traditional health insurance companies. Clover aims to encompass the entire spectrum of care, extending beyond just Medicare Advantage (MA) and providing SaaS solutions to its competitors, who, incidentally, aren't interested in these offerings. Remember when the Chief Medical Officer of Blue Cross Blue Shield publicly criticized Andrew during an earnings call two sessions ago? Their dismissal suggests they don't perceive Clover Assistant (CA) as particularly unique or special. This underscores the industry's skepticism toward Clover's innovative approach. For those of you who are interested in my opinion, I believe Andrew's post is a strategic vision for expanding the use of the Clover Assistant (CA) platform beyond just Clover Health's own Medicare Advantage (MA) patients to include providers serving patients with different insurers. The key points of the strategy include:
Thank you for reading my posts and supporting this subreddit. I know my posts are lengthy, but it's important to me that you understand the full context and not just rely on soundbites. Some of you may not remember, but I started as a lurker just like many of you. My journey into posting began when a fellow Clover Health redditor, who had lost a significant amount of money, reached out to me in a state of despair, even contemplating suicide. That incident motivated me to start writing detailed analyses (DD) on Clover Health. For the past three years, my goal has been to prevent harm caused by those manipulating the stock market. Fast forward to today, I now write as a hobby, aiming to educate and assist as many people as I can. Some may think itās a futile effort and that no one cares, but Cloverās recent announcement of a stock buyback program is evidence to the contraryāthey do care. However, they cannot engage in the illegal activities some have suggested; doing so would bring serious trouble for Clover. You think it's ok, but they are market manipulation and taking advantage of shareholders. Andrew is nor A-A-Ron. Nevertheless, I hope you understand my point. One of the biggest misconceptions these short sellers have spread is the belief that your actions are insignificant. They are not. Their seemingly "innocent" spreading of fear, uncertainty, and doubt (FUD) has caused the companyās value to plummet to beyond bankruptcy levels multiple times over the past three years, wreaking havoc on many lives. I'll let you decide whether your actions are significant. |
2024.05.17 03:41 Minimum-Opposite-967 Donāt Get Discouraged
(20M) Iām just hopping on here real quick to give some advice I wish I was told when I first had epididymitis. Iāll keep it quick. I got it like 3 weeks into my freshman year of college. Took a lacrosse ball to the boys while my legs were up on a wall. Pretty rough. But I was misdiagnosed because I was sexually active at the time. The doc gave me a shot and a round of anti-biotics (Doxycycline) and sent me on my way. Fast forward a month or two and I was still in really rough shape. So these are my tips.
Good luck brothers.
submitted by Minimum-Opposite-967 to chronicepididymitis [link] [comments]
- If you take the anti-biotics and you still arenāt feeling better by like day 5 or 6, call up the doc again. Thereās no shame in it. Donāt try to tough this out. I let it go for 2 months before my PCP reached out and prescribed me anti-inflammatory. Those did the trick. So donāt be afraid to admit youāre not healed yet.
- Lay off activity south of the border. If itās from an STD it goes w/o saying. Even if itās not with another person, you can wait to feed the geese until youāre better.
- Keep your head right. Speaking from experience Iāll be man enough to admit that I was in the dumps. I couldnāt play my sport, I could barely walk to class, and forget trying to talk to women because I felt I lost a part of my manhood. But Iām here to say that if youāre feeling this way, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Donāt spend your time researching if your chestnuts are gonna fall off. Reach out to someone and talk about it. Iām not the biggest advocate of mental health. But just talk to someone. Donāt go through it alone.
- Everyoneās experience is as much the same as it is different. Donāt spend your time reading through a forum about how someone has had it for 30 years and āitās a life sentenceā. Focus on your own journey and your own road to recovery. I know this is a chronic forum but I found myself on it a bunch. Chronic form of this is very rare and youāll probably recover.
Good luck brothers.
2024.05.17 02:49 EightArmed_Willy Need advice/tips for buying a car for the first time
First time buying a car and feeling lost and overwhelmed by the whole process. Iāve managed to put off buying a car until now at 32 but I live in the suburbs of a major US major city in the NE and having a car is necessary for anything. However, the people around me are not financially savvy and I want to walk away from the dealer feeling like I got a good deal. First time I went to the dealership was in February for Presidentsā Day and I was there for 4 hours, didnāt understand what was being offered, the manager was strong arming me into signing deal for 8 years at 11% financing. I have excellent credit in the 800s, so pissed off I walked away from the dealer. With the holiday approaching I want to get myself ready for dealing with buying a car again.
I know which car I want, I know what Iād like to pay monthly, just donāt have any negotiating experience and unfortunately getting physical is not allowed in our society. Any advice, tips, forums, strategies would be greatly appreciated! Thank you!
submitted by EightArmed_Willy to AskMenOver30 [link] [comments]
I know which car I want, I know what Iād like to pay monthly, just donāt have any negotiating experience and unfortunately getting physical is not allowed in our society. Any advice, tips, forums, strategies would be greatly appreciated! Thank you!
2024.05.17 02:01 NotXijingPing1 So I finished reading borrasca
So I read borrasca, I am new to the community, which is insane because it's amazing how this story went under my radar for so long, this story is by Christ, this story is the darkest, scariest piece of media I've ever read, and to give you a personal background of myself, I'm an E-boomer I've been around the internet since the mid-2000s, I live through periods when youtube was cluttered to the brim with off brand AVGN copy cats, a time when there was a sonic forum where you could legally marry a sonic character, I've witnessed the most stomach-turning- name me anything, chainmail creepypastas, dream simulator, revenge of the sunfish, Chris chan, Mad father, postal 1, Corpse party, Japanese crime cases, do not think I am showing off, I am not, I just like to psychologically challenge myself, but this story, from part 1 to 4, nothing has never left me emotionless, and absolutely paralyzed of words than borrasca, when I first listened to this story during my work time, I was, I wanted to cry, I wanted to feel rage, I felt so sick I wanted to throw up, something analog horror or anything else has failed to done, make me feel completely broken down of any possible words, while its cliche to say- well I'm not gonna say anything because I don't wanna spoil anything but, good god, I hope to god no media company tries to pick this series up, it would be too culturally shocking for the general audience that Hollywood producers would butcher it in an attempt to make it digestible for the general larger kiddy minded audience, yes there's 13 reason why, yes there are other movies that are dark, but this story is so beyond- nothing will ever top over it, even for me personally
submitted by NotXijingPing1 to Borrasca [link] [comments]
2024.05.17 01:51 goldilocks797 26 y.o. postgrad law student having an existential crisis š¤š¼
Advice for a 26 y.o. Postgrad law student amidst an existential crisis
Hey all!
Seeking advice!
Why law? Conceptual ideas about some areas that may interest me with the ultimate goal to use law as a vehicle for change / help others ā> intelligence, international relations/arbitration + negotiation/politics orrrr Coronerās Court.
Considerations
submitted by goldilocks797 to GAMSAT [link] [comments]
Hey all!
Seeking advice!
- Long held dream to do med but missed out following high school and pursued a Bachelor of Midwifery instead
- Iāve worked as midwife for the past ~four years post undgrad. Iām passionate but also feel unfulfilled in the sense that I practice all the skills Iām able to as a midwife (suturing etc) + my desire to learn / do more is deep. I canāt foresee myself remaining as a midwife as a career - I want more challenge / stimulation / skills.
- First time sitting the UCAT this July. Limited prep (~ 3-4 weeks due to other commitments)
- Undecided whether to sign up to Sept. GAMSAT given I will have done very limited study prior and havenāt looked at S3 topics since high school. I have never sat the GAMSAT before and feel verrrrrrry overwhelmed / insecure about being able to achieve a competitive score. Maths / physics / chemistry was never a strong subject at school.
- GPA (Fraserās calculated) is around 5.7-6.2. Unfortunately received āsatisfied requirementsā in some subjects due to prac placement special cons at the time
- Currently studying at USyd & doing the JD. Main concerns there are whether I will actually end up enjoying practice. Iām not enjoying the content in first year at all & am deeply questioning whether I will enjoy practice. Iāve read lots of forums re not enjoying law school but enjoying practice. Iām not feeling engaged with the content in the JD and my decision to continue is based on financially rationally / back-up plan. It seems a very hard slog to finish the JD with the above and below in mind.
Why law? Conceptual ideas about some areas that may interest me with the ultimate goal to use law as a vehicle for change / help others ā> intelligence, international relations/arbitration + negotiation/politics orrrr Coronerās Court.
Considerations
- Firstly, am I bloody mad?
- Will I actually enjoy working in the legal space post grad? Rhetorical question but deeply questioning what area of law may be of interest. Iāve spoken with friends in the commercial legal space but it doesnāt interest me from my brief exposure.
- GPA will be hammered by the JD and very likely raises the bar for getting into med post completing the JD. Iām not aware the JD is counted as a Masters level by any universities? Current semester one grades, courtesy of being a ruthless course, are already dragging my GPA down.
- I have a part scholarship to complete the JD however will still be saddled with debt
- Sticking with law offers greater financial renumeration than being a midwife ever will. Do I continue with law so that if med doesnāt work out, I have a career that will support me more financially into the future? I have financial savings from other passive streams but it stings to know I have very limited financial growth as a midwife.
- Iām 26 and feel an expectation to āfindā a new career, commit & progress. Fallen into law for the breadth of areas & financial renumeration and dare I say āprofessional identityā?
- Deep fears that if Iām unable to get into med, what is my back-up plan? Do I continue with law? I wish to chase the dream of med but there is a strong rationale part of my mind that is overriding! Overwhelmed by the prospect of spending years trying to get into med (as we all are!)
2024.05.17 01:14 Imaginary-Eye7634 I feel like my 18m girlfriend 18f is verbally abusing me and I feel trapped by love for her
I posted this to another forum a couple days ago, and a lot of people keep telling me its abuse. I know its not nearly as awful as some of the scenarios here, but I would love some opinions on whats going on. I feel blindsided by the idea that im in an abusive relationship right now, and terrified of it ending. Thank you everyone <3
LINK TO THE ORIGINAL POST: https://www.reddit.com/MMFB/comments/1cs5rhd/i_18m_feel_like_my_girlfriend_18f_is_verbally/
For context, I am in University about 50 miles from where she and my parents live, so I commute every weekend and most weekdays to see her. I love her. Plain and simple, in so many ways. We used to work together until she got a better job recently. Yesterday was her birthday. I made her some cookies common in the continent she's from, and baked them into heart shapes. I also got her 25$ of lottery tickets, flowers, her favorite energy drink, and a handwritten card with a lot of writing and drawings of us and her cat. I dropped it off to her in the morning after an all-nighter (going through it with finals and papers right now) and drove to the University to work my full shift. First she texted me thanking me for the gift, then asked me "what the fuck" those cookies were and that she choked on them. I was sad, told her what they were, and she told me I shouldn't have cooked something as a gift since I'm a bad cook. (I am, but I've made other stuff that she liked in the past). She also complained that the whole point of buying lottery tickets is to buy them, not to scratch them (I disagree?). She texted me that I shouldn't have gotten her anything if it was just going to be low effort.
I saw her later that night after she got out of work, and she was mad at me. She said I ruined her birthday by giving such a low effort gift, and that I didn't care about her. She brought up that I ruined her birthday last year too (by not immediately stopping our text conversation about some other girl and wishing her happy birthday the minute it got past midnight). Anytime I responded that I did put effort into the cookies, she would just deny it. Incredibly frustrating since I know how much effort I put in. She was mad the flowers I got her were not in a boquet, only loose, which didn't make it seem like a special occasion. At the heart of it she was mad that my gifts weren't special? To me the card and cookies were plenty special but she just says that it was stuff I've given her other days. She started calling me ret*rded, to which I responded "You're mean to me and I don't like it". I don't remember much of what she said (I'd had 4 hours of sleep in the past 2 nights), but she doubled down and continued calling me a wide variety of hurtful words, from ret*rded to stupid to childish and immature. I was already long sobbing, and in the middle asked her to just hit me instead. She obviously refused. She asked if I even wanted to go on our trip this upcoming weekend. I responded yes, and she replied that maybe I don't if I don't care about her enough to get her a decent gift.
She's horrifically depressed, and I know she has some specific trauma in response to people not caring about her birthdays. I think that explains part of it. Still, I tried. I am also depressed myself. I've tried bringing it up to her a few times and she responds that I'm "always b*tching too much" because my life is so perfect. Compared to hers its way better, yes, but that doesn't mean I need a reason to be depressed. She's also acted distant the entire Spring semester. I rarely spend time with her, and even more rarely is it time that isn't just "okay we can see each other for 5 minutes but I have to go in". We havent' had sex since January, or cuddling. I very much miss both of these things, and we've had (rare) opportunities for them shes missed because shes too busy sleeping (I'm not allowed in her appartment to join her, mom discovered we had sex).
At the end of being yelled at when she denied me a hug and told me essentially to go away, I had a nervous break. Honestly I've been working too much and I'm overwhelmed with needing to find a new second job and the immense weight of finals and final essays ,things breaking on my car, and now this. I sped off, her and her mom heard my tires squealing and uninvited me from the trip. I drove recklessly for about 2-3 minutes on backroads while scream-crying about killing myself and fighting the urge to drive into a tree. Not proud of it. But I am devastated about missing the trip. She backed out on us living together, and promised we could have time to cuddle on the trip. I honestly don't feel like I have anything to look forward to.
I do a lot for her. I drive two hours round trip every time I want to see her, sometimes even for 5 minutes to drop off some food before going back. I've spent the past academic year working to support our long-standing plans of moving out together (This past weekend was my first time having more than one day off in a row since accompanying her to her surgery in October). I bring her flowers weekly, at work I do all of the hard stuff for her and massage her shoulders if she feels sore. I bring her food from my University and any treats she wants from the surrounding stores. I always ask if she wants anything. I have never said anything hurtful to her. She apologizes when she hurts my feelings too much and she realizes it, like last night. I spend thousands on her, whether jewelry (the most expensive ring she lost), buying her contacts or paying big bills when shes strugglign like drivers' ed or her wheel bearing replacements.
She texted me that shes sorry I'm not going and that she hurt me but I need to control my emotions better. That she loves me so much and regardless of our fights she will always love me so much. I responded that I felt like an unappreciated chore and didnt want to get yelled at. She replied that I'm not a chore she just hasnt had time and has been too depressed to make time for me. We texted a bit and I slept a few hours until my final/work today. She clearly didn't like me defending myself by saying that if i got a present i didnt like i wouldnt call my partner a "worthless ret*rd" by responding "i never called you worthless dont put words in my mouth...i sent you messages apologizing and being worried and your response is victimizing and arguing more...not happy with ruining my birthday? had to go further and ruin the day after?"
We've been texting each other throughout the day happier things. She's been sending me recipes to be a better cook and wants me to see her for 5 minutes after work in about 2 hours from the time of writing. I want to be with her. I love her, I've done so much, I will continue. But I feel like I'm being verbally abused. And I don't know how to stop it. I'm so overwhelmed with everythign in my life and I really just need someone on my side. I think i'll just first establish a rule of not interrupting/yelling and then telling her how hurt and lonely I feel. That I love her and I can totally work with her on managing time for me and depression but that I cannot tolerate verbal abuse.
TLDR: Gave girlfriend cookies for her birthday. She didnt like them and called me a ret*rd. I had a nervous break from other combined stressors, made a scene with reckless driving, got uninvited to a trip with her and her mom. She is texting me recipes and being nice to me today. I will see her in a few hours. I am hurt and overwhelmed with life and just want to be treated like I'm loved.
Thank you readers
EDIT: I would appreciate some more input. I'm so confused and torn. She picked me up today for our talk. I hoped for a long, communicative drive about our relationship and how we can make it better for both of us. She decided we were going to Target and we "might drive around a little" after. It started off wonderful. She said I was mature in a lot of aspects, thanked me for putting up with her, saying she knows its difficult and she appreciates me sticking around with her. It seemed like well-desired clarity for me. I loved it. I thanked her, it validated me. We agreed that we should be there for each other above everything and that communication was important. She gave me the tip of telling her to "think about what you're saying" next time she yells at me and she will stop, and mentioned that we will have a lot more time together when her school ends in "a few weeks". I asked her if she was happy in our relationship and she said absolutely, that if she wasn't she would have already left me (I believe it). She apologized for snapping at me, but said that "if I asked her to cuddle one more time she would" (I've been bringing it up and she keeps telling me when she gets time. Weeks pass, I ask again, she gets mad that she always says the same thing)
We went to Target, and things were good. We talked about other things. She very quickly shifted the conversation. I'd read about avoidant personalities in relationships and brought it up to her in the car that she might be one. She said that stuff was fake and meaningless. I also read that it might be best to approach it with compassion and more "these things make me feel good" as opposed to "this makes me feel bad". She interrupted me and told me to stop because it was annoying me saying "I love you so much". Not what I was going to say. It ended up as another argument, or at least for her. I kept saying that it was important for us to communicate, and that I felt like the problem would come up again if we didn't finish. She said we communicated too much and "why did I have to bring it up" because we moved past it and it ended on a high note and I just had to keep repeating myself and causing an argument and bring it into a negative note. I told her I wasn't arguing she was, and that there was no such thing as "too much" communication for me. For her, she said there was, and that by not shutting up about it I was making little things that she would nitpick and get mad at me for.
I said the lack of communication and connection was stressing me out, she said that I'm always stressed. That she was stressed too, tired with a headache and needing to pack for the trip I was uninvited from. I said maybe we should both go to a psychologist, she replied that she already did and was "fixed" and was waiting on me to finally go.
Since she didn't want to talk about it, I tried to change the subject, but she was silent. Still gave me an "I love you" and told me I'd see her in a week.
Parents are telling me to run away that she's toxic and manipulative. Same with you people here. I deeply appreciate the advice, its just really really hard to think of it this way. I thought I would marry her. I still hope she can change and I can, but it just seems increasingly unlikely. It's heartbreaking, I love so much about her, miss so much about her, and being alone is terrifying. I fear if I did leave as everyone is suggesting I may not find another person like her that I love as much.
My current plan, I'll just focus on myself and kind of "clock out" of the idea that she is the only person I am capable of loving and that she treats me perfectly while still being supportive of her for the next few weeks. I still have some hope that she'll be better in the weeks shes free. I don't know, I'll just focus on my life and put her on the same priority she puts me.
submitted by Imaginary-Eye7634 to abusiverelationships [link] [comments]
LINK TO THE ORIGINAL POST: https://www.reddit.com/MMFB/comments/1cs5rhd/i_18m_feel_like_my_girlfriend_18f_is_verbally/
For context, I am in University about 50 miles from where she and my parents live, so I commute every weekend and most weekdays to see her. I love her. Plain and simple, in so many ways. We used to work together until she got a better job recently. Yesterday was her birthday. I made her some cookies common in the continent she's from, and baked them into heart shapes. I also got her 25$ of lottery tickets, flowers, her favorite energy drink, and a handwritten card with a lot of writing and drawings of us and her cat. I dropped it off to her in the morning after an all-nighter (going through it with finals and papers right now) and drove to the University to work my full shift. First she texted me thanking me for the gift, then asked me "what the fuck" those cookies were and that she choked on them. I was sad, told her what they were, and she told me I shouldn't have cooked something as a gift since I'm a bad cook. (I am, but I've made other stuff that she liked in the past). She also complained that the whole point of buying lottery tickets is to buy them, not to scratch them (I disagree?). She texted me that I shouldn't have gotten her anything if it was just going to be low effort.
I saw her later that night after she got out of work, and she was mad at me. She said I ruined her birthday by giving such a low effort gift, and that I didn't care about her. She brought up that I ruined her birthday last year too (by not immediately stopping our text conversation about some other girl and wishing her happy birthday the minute it got past midnight). Anytime I responded that I did put effort into the cookies, she would just deny it. Incredibly frustrating since I know how much effort I put in. She was mad the flowers I got her were not in a boquet, only loose, which didn't make it seem like a special occasion. At the heart of it she was mad that my gifts weren't special? To me the card and cookies were plenty special but she just says that it was stuff I've given her other days. She started calling me ret*rded, to which I responded "You're mean to me and I don't like it". I don't remember much of what she said (I'd had 4 hours of sleep in the past 2 nights), but she doubled down and continued calling me a wide variety of hurtful words, from ret*rded to stupid to childish and immature. I was already long sobbing, and in the middle asked her to just hit me instead. She obviously refused. She asked if I even wanted to go on our trip this upcoming weekend. I responded yes, and she replied that maybe I don't if I don't care about her enough to get her a decent gift.
She's horrifically depressed, and I know she has some specific trauma in response to people not caring about her birthdays. I think that explains part of it. Still, I tried. I am also depressed myself. I've tried bringing it up to her a few times and she responds that I'm "always b*tching too much" because my life is so perfect. Compared to hers its way better, yes, but that doesn't mean I need a reason to be depressed. She's also acted distant the entire Spring semester. I rarely spend time with her, and even more rarely is it time that isn't just "okay we can see each other for 5 minutes but I have to go in". We havent' had sex since January, or cuddling. I very much miss both of these things, and we've had (rare) opportunities for them shes missed because shes too busy sleeping (I'm not allowed in her appartment to join her, mom discovered we had sex).
At the end of being yelled at when she denied me a hug and told me essentially to go away, I had a nervous break. Honestly I've been working too much and I'm overwhelmed with needing to find a new second job and the immense weight of finals and final essays ,things breaking on my car, and now this. I sped off, her and her mom heard my tires squealing and uninvited me from the trip. I drove recklessly for about 2-3 minutes on backroads while scream-crying about killing myself and fighting the urge to drive into a tree. Not proud of it. But I am devastated about missing the trip. She backed out on us living together, and promised we could have time to cuddle on the trip. I honestly don't feel like I have anything to look forward to.
I do a lot for her. I drive two hours round trip every time I want to see her, sometimes even for 5 minutes to drop off some food before going back. I've spent the past academic year working to support our long-standing plans of moving out together (This past weekend was my first time having more than one day off in a row since accompanying her to her surgery in October). I bring her flowers weekly, at work I do all of the hard stuff for her and massage her shoulders if she feels sore. I bring her food from my University and any treats she wants from the surrounding stores. I always ask if she wants anything. I have never said anything hurtful to her. She apologizes when she hurts my feelings too much and she realizes it, like last night. I spend thousands on her, whether jewelry (the most expensive ring she lost), buying her contacts or paying big bills when shes strugglign like drivers' ed or her wheel bearing replacements.
She texted me that shes sorry I'm not going and that she hurt me but I need to control my emotions better. That she loves me so much and regardless of our fights she will always love me so much. I responded that I felt like an unappreciated chore and didnt want to get yelled at. She replied that I'm not a chore she just hasnt had time and has been too depressed to make time for me. We texted a bit and I slept a few hours until my final/work today. She clearly didn't like me defending myself by saying that if i got a present i didnt like i wouldnt call my partner a "worthless ret*rd" by responding "i never called you worthless dont put words in my mouth...i sent you messages apologizing and being worried and your response is victimizing and arguing more...not happy with ruining my birthday? had to go further and ruin the day after?"
We've been texting each other throughout the day happier things. She's been sending me recipes to be a better cook and wants me to see her for 5 minutes after work in about 2 hours from the time of writing. I want to be with her. I love her, I've done so much, I will continue. But I feel like I'm being verbally abused. And I don't know how to stop it. I'm so overwhelmed with everythign in my life and I really just need someone on my side. I think i'll just first establish a rule of not interrupting/yelling and then telling her how hurt and lonely I feel. That I love her and I can totally work with her on managing time for me and depression but that I cannot tolerate verbal abuse.
TLDR: Gave girlfriend cookies for her birthday. She didnt like them and called me a ret*rd. I had a nervous break from other combined stressors, made a scene with reckless driving, got uninvited to a trip with her and her mom. She is texting me recipes and being nice to me today. I will see her in a few hours. I am hurt and overwhelmed with life and just want to be treated like I'm loved.
Thank you readers
EDIT: I would appreciate some more input. I'm so confused and torn. She picked me up today for our talk. I hoped for a long, communicative drive about our relationship and how we can make it better for both of us. She decided we were going to Target and we "might drive around a little" after. It started off wonderful. She said I was mature in a lot of aspects, thanked me for putting up with her, saying she knows its difficult and she appreciates me sticking around with her. It seemed like well-desired clarity for me. I loved it. I thanked her, it validated me. We agreed that we should be there for each other above everything and that communication was important. She gave me the tip of telling her to "think about what you're saying" next time she yells at me and she will stop, and mentioned that we will have a lot more time together when her school ends in "a few weeks". I asked her if she was happy in our relationship and she said absolutely, that if she wasn't she would have already left me (I believe it). She apologized for snapping at me, but said that "if I asked her to cuddle one more time she would" (I've been bringing it up and she keeps telling me when she gets time. Weeks pass, I ask again, she gets mad that she always says the same thing)
We went to Target, and things were good. We talked about other things. She very quickly shifted the conversation. I'd read about avoidant personalities in relationships and brought it up to her in the car that she might be one. She said that stuff was fake and meaningless. I also read that it might be best to approach it with compassion and more "these things make me feel good" as opposed to "this makes me feel bad". She interrupted me and told me to stop because it was annoying me saying "I love you so much". Not what I was going to say. It ended up as another argument, or at least for her. I kept saying that it was important for us to communicate, and that I felt like the problem would come up again if we didn't finish. She said we communicated too much and "why did I have to bring it up" because we moved past it and it ended on a high note and I just had to keep repeating myself and causing an argument and bring it into a negative note. I told her I wasn't arguing she was, and that there was no such thing as "too much" communication for me. For her, she said there was, and that by not shutting up about it I was making little things that she would nitpick and get mad at me for.
I said the lack of communication and connection was stressing me out, she said that I'm always stressed. That she was stressed too, tired with a headache and needing to pack for the trip I was uninvited from. I said maybe we should both go to a psychologist, she replied that she already did and was "fixed" and was waiting on me to finally go.
Since she didn't want to talk about it, I tried to change the subject, but she was silent. Still gave me an "I love you" and told me I'd see her in a week.
Parents are telling me to run away that she's toxic and manipulative. Same with you people here. I deeply appreciate the advice, its just really really hard to think of it this way. I thought I would marry her. I still hope she can change and I can, but it just seems increasingly unlikely. It's heartbreaking, I love so much about her, miss so much about her, and being alone is terrifying. I fear if I did leave as everyone is suggesting I may not find another person like her that I love as much.
My current plan, I'll just focus on myself and kind of "clock out" of the idea that she is the only person I am capable of loving and that she treats me perfectly while still being supportive of her for the next few weeks. I still have some hope that she'll be better in the weeks shes free. I don't know, I'll just focus on my life and put her on the same priority she puts me.
2024.05.17 00:42 matronsaintsuccubus So Checked Out and Still Having Trouble Leaving
This will probably be long winded so apologies in advance. TW: partner relapse
My partner 30m(PA/Love Addict) is in recovery and has been going to meetings for several years and is quite dedicated to his sobriety from what I've (32f) seen but he's also become increasingly controlling in what seems to be every facet of my life he can sink his teeth into and I feel like this weekend it has reached a new level of red flag alert.
Backstory- We've been dating for a little over a year and I knew before our first date that he identified as a SA because I shared upfront that I was a recovering alcoholic w 2y sobriety; I never saw his addiction as a hinderance rather a minor inconvenience and a bit ironic as I had been involved in the world of FSSW for 8y and currently a stripper going on 6y. I'm sure you can smell the toxicity forming from whereever you're reading now..
We had some pretty heated convos and runins with his addiction last year and eventually broke up for several months in late 2023. Took some space and ultimately we decided to give it another shot in Feb 2024. Except he introduced an ultimatum/condition that I somehow became complicit in, despite mentioning it was an absolute no go for me initially. He said it was his "boundary' that he could not progress further in our relationship given my status as a stripper working in the club. We made plans to move in by May and I took into account the months of couples counseling we've been attending, hoping that would help ease the transition and give us time to work out some kinks. So, the ultimatum- he will not move in with me and commit to me long term if I do not stop working in the strip club (I made the decision to stop doing FS several months into our relationship last year so that isn't an issue). When I agreed to this proposal, I was already missing a lot of work due to chronic back pain and nerve damage from dancing for so long/not conditioning well enough, etc and knew I wanted to eventually transition into a more fulfilling and engaging work environment, something more aligned with me and my interests/education. No biggie I thought, just a hopeless romantic trusting in love that became convinced it's normal to meet a partner that can't handle their partner being a dancer as I've seen it so often with my coworkers. Anyhow, the ultimatum became a huge source of contention as I realized I wasn't ready to quit by our May move in date; I had been avoiding work altogether and depleted my emergency savings because he said by me going to work at the strip club is me choosing to engage in my addiction and middle circle- he is adamant I have a sex addiction and pushes on this often. I don't deny I have a dysfunctional relationship to sex and intimacy but I've been in trauma, talk, emdr therapy, etc for over a decade with various providers and have overcome an extensive amount of my trauma that has led to seeking validation via promiscuity. I digress, as an alcoholic that has 7+ cumulative years sober in my adult life, I do understand addiction, which always feels dismissed or discounted. He thinks I'm in denial and it sparks a whole separate issue.
Blah blah blah I could go on and on. Flash forward this weekend... Our first week moving in together. It's been an emotionally taxing few months between me incessantly looking to find a job to no avail, interviewing and submitting applications for hours a day on top of co-parenting my toddler with her bio dad, and feeling like I am constantly having to make myself available to cater to my partners emotional insecurity. Anyway, I flew out of town a few days ago to spend the weekend with my family and first mother's day with my mom and kiddo and he relapses the first night I'm gone. Not some two second middle circle engagement but full on masturbation/completion which is inner circle and something I've only known him to do one other time last year while we were dating. The nature of material and content consumer is what has me infuriated, feeling violated, beyond betrayed, fetishized, and secretly hated. When I tried to express this, he said I was shaming him and taking advantage of the vulnerability and honesty he's shared with me and it was essentially an entire day of screening texts from him that were hurtful and hateful and eventually ended on how he feels isolated and alone and disrespected bc I don't see him as a dad and the list goes on and on and on and on. Seriously I can't remember a day, much less an hour where I wasn't being criticized for saying something, believing something, doing something, feeling something that doesn't resonate with his worldview. He intellectualizes everything and he uses his intelligence to nitpick and debate until I am drained.
So back to the issue at hand- the nature of the material was forums where sex worker johns/tricks were discussing what it's like to be with sw providers and stripper porn vids so I'm like ............. Can you not see how this is completely deranged on some level? The level of control and manipulation to get me out of the club... He even went as far as to tell me how he was thinking about frequenting one of the strip clubs or picking up a destitute worker off the street as I'm out of town. With my daughter, for mother's day, hours before he relapsed. Something more alarming is that he fails to see much of a difference with this than other types of vids, etc even though it is extremely personal now (no this was not his go to before and he disclosed it was a new development as of this month). With this failure to hold himself accountable he just keeps asking me to inform him how it hurts and go into detail after detail so he can understand better. At this point a part of me feels like he enjoys hearing how it affects me so detrimentally as he often gets turned on after I am vulnerable with him.
I just don't know where to go from here. I told him I have made other temporary living accommodations since this transpired so quickly after moving in together. I'm torn bc a part of me wants to continue working on our relationship and build a future together. But another part of me knows that being alone and a little unhappy occasionally is a lot more manageable and desirable than being in a relationship and miserable with someone else that fails to see the very real pressure and angst being applied. The emotional and mental load it's taken has seriously decreased my ability to feel much on any given day aside from resentment, sadness, and fits of anger. I feel very alone and confused as to how to proceed and genuinely want to know how worth it is to other women that have gone through similar experiences, whether on not investing into someone like that pays off or if it's just a dead end with more trauma to overcome for myself eventually. Not to mention he told me I was getting fat on mother's day. For reference, I am 5'7 and 128 lbs currently. I will deflect and joke that my looks are the only thing I'm not self conscious about considering I get paid for them so IDC. Even though this has continually come up for months now that I haven't stuck to my continuous pole regimen, I've been dealing with back spasms, and just trying to exist as a single mom transitioning into a new career, having my own hobbies, etc.
I guess I want to post this to hold accountability for myself and have some of my concerns validated bc I do get wrapped up in the promises and emotional intimacy we share. I know I have a tendency to be codependent and am working on breaking this cycle but I guess that's why I'm also finding myself back at this point of sink or swim and just disappointed I believed in the bigger picture we painted together.
submitted by matronsaintsuccubus to SupportforBetrayed [link] [comments]
My partner 30m(PA/Love Addict) is in recovery and has been going to meetings for several years and is quite dedicated to his sobriety from what I've (32f) seen but he's also become increasingly controlling in what seems to be every facet of my life he can sink his teeth into and I feel like this weekend it has reached a new level of red flag alert.
Backstory- We've been dating for a little over a year and I knew before our first date that he identified as a SA because I shared upfront that I was a recovering alcoholic w 2y sobriety; I never saw his addiction as a hinderance rather a minor inconvenience and a bit ironic as I had been involved in the world of FSSW for 8y and currently a stripper going on 6y. I'm sure you can smell the toxicity forming from whereever you're reading now..
We had some pretty heated convos and runins with his addiction last year and eventually broke up for several months in late 2023. Took some space and ultimately we decided to give it another shot in Feb 2024. Except he introduced an ultimatum/condition that I somehow became complicit in, despite mentioning it was an absolute no go for me initially. He said it was his "boundary' that he could not progress further in our relationship given my status as a stripper working in the club. We made plans to move in by May and I took into account the months of couples counseling we've been attending, hoping that would help ease the transition and give us time to work out some kinks. So, the ultimatum- he will not move in with me and commit to me long term if I do not stop working in the strip club (I made the decision to stop doing FS several months into our relationship last year so that isn't an issue). When I agreed to this proposal, I was already missing a lot of work due to chronic back pain and nerve damage from dancing for so long/not conditioning well enough, etc and knew I wanted to eventually transition into a more fulfilling and engaging work environment, something more aligned with me and my interests/education. No biggie I thought, just a hopeless romantic trusting in love that became convinced it's normal to meet a partner that can't handle their partner being a dancer as I've seen it so often with my coworkers. Anyhow, the ultimatum became a huge source of contention as I realized I wasn't ready to quit by our May move in date; I had been avoiding work altogether and depleted my emergency savings because he said by me going to work at the strip club is me choosing to engage in my addiction and middle circle- he is adamant I have a sex addiction and pushes on this often. I don't deny I have a dysfunctional relationship to sex and intimacy but I've been in trauma, talk, emdr therapy, etc for over a decade with various providers and have overcome an extensive amount of my trauma that has led to seeking validation via promiscuity. I digress, as an alcoholic that has 7+ cumulative years sober in my adult life, I do understand addiction, which always feels dismissed or discounted. He thinks I'm in denial and it sparks a whole separate issue.
Blah blah blah I could go on and on. Flash forward this weekend... Our first week moving in together. It's been an emotionally taxing few months between me incessantly looking to find a job to no avail, interviewing and submitting applications for hours a day on top of co-parenting my toddler with her bio dad, and feeling like I am constantly having to make myself available to cater to my partners emotional insecurity. Anyway, I flew out of town a few days ago to spend the weekend with my family and first mother's day with my mom and kiddo and he relapses the first night I'm gone. Not some two second middle circle engagement but full on masturbation/completion which is inner circle and something I've only known him to do one other time last year while we were dating. The nature of material and content consumer is what has me infuriated, feeling violated, beyond betrayed, fetishized, and secretly hated. When I tried to express this, he said I was shaming him and taking advantage of the vulnerability and honesty he's shared with me and it was essentially an entire day of screening texts from him that were hurtful and hateful and eventually ended on how he feels isolated and alone and disrespected bc I don't see him as a dad and the list goes on and on and on and on. Seriously I can't remember a day, much less an hour where I wasn't being criticized for saying something, believing something, doing something, feeling something that doesn't resonate with his worldview. He intellectualizes everything and he uses his intelligence to nitpick and debate until I am drained.
So back to the issue at hand- the nature of the material was forums where sex worker johns/tricks were discussing what it's like to be with sw providers and stripper porn vids so I'm like ............. Can you not see how this is completely deranged on some level? The level of control and manipulation to get me out of the club... He even went as far as to tell me how he was thinking about frequenting one of the strip clubs or picking up a destitute worker off the street as I'm out of town. With my daughter, for mother's day, hours before he relapsed. Something more alarming is that he fails to see much of a difference with this than other types of vids, etc even though it is extremely personal now (no this was not his go to before and he disclosed it was a new development as of this month). With this failure to hold himself accountable he just keeps asking me to inform him how it hurts and go into detail after detail so he can understand better. At this point a part of me feels like he enjoys hearing how it affects me so detrimentally as he often gets turned on after I am vulnerable with him.
I just don't know where to go from here. I told him I have made other temporary living accommodations since this transpired so quickly after moving in together. I'm torn bc a part of me wants to continue working on our relationship and build a future together. But another part of me knows that being alone and a little unhappy occasionally is a lot more manageable and desirable than being in a relationship and miserable with someone else that fails to see the very real pressure and angst being applied. The emotional and mental load it's taken has seriously decreased my ability to feel much on any given day aside from resentment, sadness, and fits of anger. I feel very alone and confused as to how to proceed and genuinely want to know how worth it is to other women that have gone through similar experiences, whether on not investing into someone like that pays off or if it's just a dead end with more trauma to overcome for myself eventually. Not to mention he told me I was getting fat on mother's day. For reference, I am 5'7 and 128 lbs currently. I will deflect and joke that my looks are the only thing I'm not self conscious about considering I get paid for them so IDC. Even though this has continually come up for months now that I haven't stuck to my continuous pole regimen, I've been dealing with back spasms, and just trying to exist as a single mom transitioning into a new career, having my own hobbies, etc.
I guess I want to post this to hold accountability for myself and have some of my concerns validated bc I do get wrapped up in the promises and emotional intimacy we share. I know I have a tendency to be codependent and am working on breaking this cycle but I guess that's why I'm also finding myself back at this point of sink or swim and just disappointed I believed in the bigger picture we painted together.
2024.05.17 00:22 CardiologistAware830 I feel like Luca Guadagnino is uniquely talented at portraying exactly what makes men so attractive, appealing to audiences on a mass scale regardless of gender or sexuality
Thinking of Challengers, here, OBVI. The churro scene?? The hotel scene?? Them getting all nervous before/when they meet Tashi? The other hotel scene where Art is acting so babygirl?? Come on. Even just the costuming & hair for Art and Patrick feel so energetic, fun, endearing, enticing. All through the movie I couldnāt stop thinking ā:)ā about how much I love men and their whole deal, and I feel like thatās something missing in a lot of media that appeals to women who date men. So much of it is either the last gasps of āmen are trashā or this goofy ass āwritten by a womanā stuff. Granted, Art and Patrick are really normal guys and are only obnoxious or threatening in the ways youād expect a normal ass dude to be. Not enough love for regular ass dudes I swear
Even in Call Me By Your Name, Armie Hammer is one of the hottest dudes ever (AS A BLOND MAN?) because Luca seems to intuitively know exactly how to direct and style men. Itās nuts. Not a Timothee Chalamet girl myself but Iāll let the other 2 woman on this forum weigh in lmfao
Thereās a lot of baggage attached to being a woman dating a man and the relationship between you & his friends & him, but letās lut that aside and acknowledge how it is so attractive to see a man hanging out with his homies and see him excelling in a social situation that is totally dif from what youāve seen him in. At least as long as u know when to tap out before the hang devovles into something unspeakable
anyways, men are hot when theyāre being lads or maybe Iām actually a gay guy
submitted by CardiologistAware830 to redscarepod [link] [comments]
Even in Call Me By Your Name, Armie Hammer is one of the hottest dudes ever (AS A BLOND MAN?) because Luca seems to intuitively know exactly how to direct and style men. Itās nuts. Not a Timothee Chalamet girl myself but Iāll let the other 2 woman on this forum weigh in lmfao
Thereās a lot of baggage attached to being a woman dating a man and the relationship between you & his friends & him, but letās lut that aside and acknowledge how it is so attractive to see a man hanging out with his homies and see him excelling in a social situation that is totally dif from what youāve seen him in. At least as long as u know when to tap out before the hang devovles into something unspeakable
anyways, men are hot when theyāre being lads or maybe Iām actually a gay guy
2024.05.16 23:08 Superbly_Humble Group game design (UPDATE 1) & sub news
Hey friends!
Looks like the Deck Building Card Battle (20 Card Decks) won yesterday. Thank you for participating in the vote.
Because this is the first group game, it will be very casual, as this will all be done on Reddit. I'll enable our chat to help out, but I'll need your help to keep people from abusing it. For the future, I want to have a discord server where we can interact better, but that's a slow process for me (anyone with experience and a desire to help please DM me).
I'll start out by really introducing myself; I'm Magnus, a game designer in Vancouver, Canada. My company, BRB Games, has been a subsidiary of a large game company, and my employees and I primarily designed games for ages 3-12. I have worked on a few other projects as a consultant, mainly doing logic, core design, testing, etc. In November we found out cutbacks were incoming. Due to a tight contract, I've had a second job the last few years as a lead robotics designer (among other hats) to cover my costs, plus top-up my own employees at BRB. I was often doing 16 hour days, juggling way too much, ontop of a 3 hour commute if I even went home. We all talked and closure was the best choice. Most of my employees were picked up right away, or transitioned into the parent company, and in April, my last person got a fantastic job remotely for an Australian company as a junior designer. I gave my notice with my employer and that brings me to here and now. I have time to actually go to conventions again, I'll be teaching 4 classes a month in person, I'm interning a highschool student in game design from California currently, doing weekly volunteer math tutoring, and I feel I can finally help everyone in boardgamedesign. I want to build this community back up, the best it's ever been. When it closed due to the Reddit protest, we lost 80,000 subs. I became the mod after 2 attempts (and a long talk with Reddit admins). Honestly, this calling in life fulfills me, and if I can pass on anything to you, or help get your game noticed and sold, I'm more than happy to. Long intro short, I'm here to help, so feel free to ask me anything and if I don't know the answer (happens a lot), we can find out!
Also, thanks to our mods u/bgg-uglywalrus and u/MudkipzLover. Without them, we couldn't do this. Their experience, determination and willingness for anything boardgames is inspirational and a foundation of what we are. Thank you, muchly.
So to get started on the game, I want to focus on the first aspects of proper design:
1 - Main Objective (DEVELOPMENT STAGE)
Deck 2 (u/Superbly_Humble) * Attacks and abilities don't use resources, but conditional on meeting a card setup condition (High risk / reward) *
6 - Game Mechanisms
ā¢ Setup - (layout as we define structure)
13 - Rulebook Design and Creation
Decide on platform (Digital or Physical, or Both)
Digital
Alright, this is my basic design format for board game development, with an updated minimal and modern approach. I'm going to treat it as a loose project management, with a 2 week turn around on the development stage.
Please feel free to add a comment with the section you'd like to add to quoted. We can respond to those threads for more detail, but EACH persons comments will be a different design element. Your name will be added to that section and that's your contribution! More than 1 person can be credited for the section, and more than 1 section can be credited to a person, because we are all collaborating!
When it comes to the deck creations, keep the art and theme to yourself for now, but list what you want in a deck mechanic. We will come to themes when it is time.
Again, this document will be updated constantly until we lock it and create the next stage.
If we determine that this project comes to a marketable standing (which is not intended, but never say no to glory), contributors will have a few options. Either DM me your real info for credit or your username will be used. I know privacy is a premium on the internet, but I can only credit those that want it. If that means creating a new account to protect your privacy, you'll have to DM the mod team so we can approve you due to the low karma automod ruleset.
Lastly, anything you contribute to this project is considered the IP of the project as a whole. Credit where credit is due (having your name on a project is a HUGE start for your resume), but please only contribute if you understand that there is no financial incentive, nor compensation of any kind outside of credit. I can't afford to feed you all :)
submitted by Superbly_Humble to BoardgameDesign [link] [comments]
Looks like the Deck Building Card Battle (20 Card Decks) won yesterday. Thank you for participating in the vote.
Because this is the first group game, it will be very casual, as this will all be done on Reddit. I'll enable our chat to help out, but I'll need your help to keep people from abusing it. For the future, I want to have a discord server where we can interact better, but that's a slow process for me (anyone with experience and a desire to help please DM me).
I'll start out by really introducing myself; I'm Magnus, a game designer in Vancouver, Canada. My company, BRB Games, has been a subsidiary of a large game company, and my employees and I primarily designed games for ages 3-12. I have worked on a few other projects as a consultant, mainly doing logic, core design, testing, etc. In November we found out cutbacks were incoming. Due to a tight contract, I've had a second job the last few years as a lead robotics designer (among other hats) to cover my costs, plus top-up my own employees at BRB. I was often doing 16 hour days, juggling way too much, ontop of a 3 hour commute if I even went home. We all talked and closure was the best choice. Most of my employees were picked up right away, or transitioned into the parent company, and in April, my last person got a fantastic job remotely for an Australian company as a junior designer. I gave my notice with my employer and that brings me to here and now. I have time to actually go to conventions again, I'll be teaching 4 classes a month in person, I'm interning a highschool student in game design from California currently, doing weekly volunteer math tutoring, and I feel I can finally help everyone in boardgamedesign. I want to build this community back up, the best it's ever been. When it closed due to the Reddit protest, we lost 80,000 subs. I became the mod after 2 attempts (and a long talk with Reddit admins). Honestly, this calling in life fulfills me, and if I can pass on anything to you, or help get your game noticed and sold, I'm more than happy to. Long intro short, I'm here to help, so feel free to ask me anything and if I don't know the answer (happens a lot), we can find out!
Also, thanks to our mods u/bgg-uglywalrus and u/MudkipzLover. Without them, we couldn't do this. Their experience, determination and willingness for anything boardgames is inspirational and a foundation of what we are. Thank you, muchly.
So to get started on the game, I want to focus on the first aspects of proper design:
This document will be updated constantly until we lock it and create the next stage.-------------------------------------------------
Card Game: Prebuilt Deck Builder
(Boardgamedesign Edition)1 - Main Objective (DEVELOPMENT STAGE)
- Design an engaging card game battle experience with deck building mechanics.
- Defeat opponents deck by reducing Health to zero
- Creating a lock out condition (Deck stall)
- Character cards
- Artifact cards (?)
- Condition cards (?)
- (Group Defined)
- Universal Status Cards (shared third deck with joint positive/negative effects)
- Cards are played from hand as defined per card
- Cards are activated using resources (?)
- Cards are activated with combining each cards defined resource value(?)
- (Group Defined Input)
- 20 Cards per deck hard limit
- Players construct a deck using individual preset decks of 20 cards.
- Players share a pool of universal condition cards (?)
- Players are able to discard cards (deal damage?) (u/Zoql)
- (Group Defined)
Deck 2 (u/Superbly_Humble) * Attacks and abilities don't use resources, but conditional on meeting a card setup condition (High risk / reward) *
6 - Game Mechanisms
ā¢ Setup - (layout as we define structure)
- Shuffle
- Determine turn order
- Draw (5) cards to hand (?)
- First turn rules (no attacks, activations?)
- Draw
- Playing
- Activating
- Resolving
- Player Universal Actions
- Resolving Turn
- Activation
- Checks
- Blocks
- Damage Dealt
- Conditions (Weakness, Lasting effects?)
- Interactions
- Resolution
- Reducing players health to zero
- Defeating all defensive cards (?)
- Creating a zero sum condition (unique mechanic or the 'gimmick')
- Spreadsheet stats analysis (as we go)
- FIRST INTERNAL PLAYTESTING (yay!)
- Recording data sets of all conditions
- Extensive strategy testing
- Group input about what worked, and didn't
- Refine Ruleset
- Card conditions and activation tweaks
- Gameplay change and redesign as needed
You can ALWAYS change your game at any time, this is a checks and balance dedicated to it11 - Closed Public Playtesting (BETA STAGE)
Closed as the artwork isn't finished yet, and play conditions are directly controlled
- Create play sheets for players
- Conditions to try Feedback for a variety of mechanics
- Seek out closed groups (either local, or online)
- Compile data and rework as needed
It's time to dedicate our resources to visual appeal and player immersionArtwork
- Overall game theme
- Deck theme
- Character theme
- Dice, Spinner, token theme (components)
- Game backstory ("Once a year, players...")
- Individual deck story
- Unique wording and phrases
- Compelling intrigue dialogue
- Art testing
- Compile feedback forms
- Test for colour visions, dyslexia and other impairments
13 - Rulebook Design and Creation
To be succinct, the rules will be compiled already, this is the design aspect
- List all game rules and mechanisms
- Startup guide (can be a seperate insert)
- Quick references (if complicated)
- Determine phrasing based on thematics
- Artwork and formatting
- Page count Structure and finesse
Decide on platform (Digital or Physical, or Both)
Digital
- Select release program Design phase (Inhouse or hire)
- Testing inhouse
- Testing public
- Feedback Review and reworks
- Determine desired materials (Request sample)
- Playtest with physical prototypes (We know certain materials hold up and reuse them to save time, so we only need to heavily test if we are using an unknown vendor, new product or process, or new paints).
- Determine content arrangement
- Choose box size
- Design insert
- Box art creation
- Decide on manufacturer
- Get specifications about batch sizes, weight, and distribution to warehouse / choice location
- Calculate shipping and vendor distribution
- You'll have the data to do this now.
We are able to send out prototypes before this step
- Select choice game stores, boardgame bars, playtesting groups, reviewers, streamers / YouTubers, notable designers, game design companies, publishers, and convention directors (You'll want to have a diaglue about review in exchange for a free game, credits or money. Return shipping if needed. Also a timeframe!).
Honestly this should be happening very early. The more people know about your game from an early stage, the more they feel connected. Ask for controlled opinions, and respond to everyone within reasonable limits. Every person and is a potential customer now and in the future, and you are building loyalty to YOU, not the game.
- Forums, Reddit, Online videos, Interviewers, Blogs, Website, Conventions, In person, everywhere!
- Business cards are affordable, grab them
- (More?)
- We'll cover this more
Alright, this is my basic design format for board game development, with an updated minimal and modern approach. I'm going to treat it as a loose project management, with a 2 week turn around on the development stage.
Please feel free to add a comment with the section you'd like to add to quoted. We can respond to those threads for more detail, but EACH persons comments will be a different design element. Your name will be added to that section and that's your contribution! More than 1 person can be credited for the section, and more than 1 section can be credited to a person, because we are all collaborating!
When it comes to the deck creations, keep the art and theme to yourself for now, but list what you want in a deck mechanic. We will come to themes when it is time.
Again, this document will be updated constantly until we lock it and create the next stage.
If we determine that this project comes to a marketable standing (which is not intended, but never say no to glory), contributors will have a few options. Either DM me your real info for credit or your username will be used. I know privacy is a premium on the internet, but I can only credit those that want it. If that means creating a new account to protect your privacy, you'll have to DM the mod team so we can approve you due to the low karma automod ruleset.
Lastly, anything you contribute to this project is considered the IP of the project as a whole. Credit where credit is due (having your name on a project is a HUGE start for your resume), but please only contribute if you understand that there is no financial incentive, nor compensation of any kind outside of credit. I can't afford to feed you all :)
2024.05.16 21:45 Goris00000 I was diagnosed with OCD but I don't feel like it describes my experience well
I was diagnosed as having OCD by a neuropsychological testing center yesterday but I don't think this condition really describes my experience. I am trying to keep an objective, open mind but the more I read about ocd and especially the more I read about the experiences of people with ocd on forums like reddit the more I am convinced that I do not have OCD. It just doesn't seem to match with my experiences.
There were some red flags with my testing psychologist that I ignored. I went in to be screened for autism but she told me it was extremely unlikely I had autism because I have a boyfriend. I think the fact that I drove myself to the testing center also contributed to her not thinking I could have that diagnosis. She also told me she did not agree with the DSM-5 definition of autism and that many people were being misdiagnosed as autistic. She told me that there was no good way to test for autism but she did say that she would test me for it. My report actually mentions nothing about autism at allānot even reasons for ruling it out or suspecting that it is not a correct diagnosis for me.
A major thread of the report is that she believes I have a large amount of medical anxiety. This part I am 100% certain is not true about me. I think I have below average medical anxiety actually, and the people who know me well have agreed with me on this. I'm positive it's not a real issue for me.
I just don't really recognize the person she painted a picture of in the report. I expected to disagree about some things or hear some hard truths but I thought I would be able to read the results and gain some insights into myself but I don't think that's the case.
She did detect an attention defecit, but she attributed that to my obsessive thoughts (which I don't believe I really have, or at least certainty not enough to merit an ocd diagnosis). I think my attention defecit is just in the classic adhd inattentive way. To be clear, I think I have autism with maybe not a full adhd comorbidity but with some common inattentive features of adhd.
I could go on with a lot more details and can answer clarifying questions to anyone who will listen but I think you probably get the general idea
Tldr; I believe I was misdiagnosed has anyone had this experience and later determined that they actually did have ocd? Or later gotten a different diagnosis such as autism? I know doubt is a big part of ocd and it's not like it's portrayed in movies, I just don't feel like it describes me well, but when I read about autism it feels very relatable
submitted by Goris00000 to autism [link] [comments]
There were some red flags with my testing psychologist that I ignored. I went in to be screened for autism but she told me it was extremely unlikely I had autism because I have a boyfriend. I think the fact that I drove myself to the testing center also contributed to her not thinking I could have that diagnosis. She also told me she did not agree with the DSM-5 definition of autism and that many people were being misdiagnosed as autistic. She told me that there was no good way to test for autism but she did say that she would test me for it. My report actually mentions nothing about autism at allānot even reasons for ruling it out or suspecting that it is not a correct diagnosis for me.
A major thread of the report is that she believes I have a large amount of medical anxiety. This part I am 100% certain is not true about me. I think I have below average medical anxiety actually, and the people who know me well have agreed with me on this. I'm positive it's not a real issue for me.
I just don't really recognize the person she painted a picture of in the report. I expected to disagree about some things or hear some hard truths but I thought I would be able to read the results and gain some insights into myself but I don't think that's the case.
She did detect an attention defecit, but she attributed that to my obsessive thoughts (which I don't believe I really have, or at least certainty not enough to merit an ocd diagnosis). I think my attention defecit is just in the classic adhd inattentive way. To be clear, I think I have autism with maybe not a full adhd comorbidity but with some common inattentive features of adhd.
I could go on with a lot more details and can answer clarifying questions to anyone who will listen but I think you probably get the general idea
Tldr; I believe I was misdiagnosed has anyone had this experience and later determined that they actually did have ocd? Or later gotten a different diagnosis such as autism? I know doubt is a big part of ocd and it's not like it's portrayed in movies, I just don't feel like it describes me well, but when I read about autism it feels very relatable
2024.05.16 21:11 Goris00000 Diagnosed with OCD but I don't feel like it describes my experience
I was diagnosed as having OCD by a neuropsychological testing center yesterday but I don't think this condition really describes my experience. I am trying to keep an objective, open mind but the more I read about ocd and especially the more I read about the experiences of people with ocd on a forum like this the more I am convinced that I do not have OCD. It just doesn't seem to match with my experiences.
There were some red flags with my testing psychologist that I ignored. I went in to be screened for autism but she told me it was extremely unlikely I had autism because I have a boyfriend. I think the fact that I drove myself to the testing center also contributed to her not thinking I could have that diagnosis. She also told me she did not agree with the DSM-5 definition of autism and that many people were being misdiagnosed as autistic. She told me that there was no good way to test for autism but she did say that she would test me for it. My report actually mentions nothing about autism at allānot even reasons for ruling it out or suspecting that it is not a correct diagnosis for me.
A major thread of the report is that she believes I have a large amount of medical anxiety. This part I am 100% certain is not true about me. I think I have below average medical anxiety actually, and the people who know me well have agreed with me on this. I'm positive it's not a real issue for me.
I just don't really recognize the person she painted a picture of in the report. I expected to disagree about some things or hear some hard truths but I thought I would be able to read the results and gain some insights into myself but I don't think that's the case.
She did detect an attention defecit, but she attributed that to my obsessive thoughts (which I don't believe I really have, or at least certainty not enough to merit an ocd diagnosis). I think my attention defecit is just in the classic adhd inattentive way. To be clear, I think I have autism with maybe not a full adhd comorbidity but with some common inattentive features of adhd.
I could go on with a lot more details and can answer clarifying questions to anyone who will listen but I think you probably get the general idea
Tldr; I believe I was misdiagnosed has anyone had this experience and later determined that they actually did have ocd? Or later gotten a different diagnosis? I know doubt is a big part of ocd and it's not like it's portrayed in movies, I just don't feel like it describes me well
submitted by Goris00000 to OCD [link] [comments]
There were some red flags with my testing psychologist that I ignored. I went in to be screened for autism but she told me it was extremely unlikely I had autism because I have a boyfriend. I think the fact that I drove myself to the testing center also contributed to her not thinking I could have that diagnosis. She also told me she did not agree with the DSM-5 definition of autism and that many people were being misdiagnosed as autistic. She told me that there was no good way to test for autism but she did say that she would test me for it. My report actually mentions nothing about autism at allānot even reasons for ruling it out or suspecting that it is not a correct diagnosis for me.
A major thread of the report is that she believes I have a large amount of medical anxiety. This part I am 100% certain is not true about me. I think I have below average medical anxiety actually, and the people who know me well have agreed with me on this. I'm positive it's not a real issue for me.
I just don't really recognize the person she painted a picture of in the report. I expected to disagree about some things or hear some hard truths but I thought I would be able to read the results and gain some insights into myself but I don't think that's the case.
She did detect an attention defecit, but she attributed that to my obsessive thoughts (which I don't believe I really have, or at least certainty not enough to merit an ocd diagnosis). I think my attention defecit is just in the classic adhd inattentive way. To be clear, I think I have autism with maybe not a full adhd comorbidity but with some common inattentive features of adhd.
I could go on with a lot more details and can answer clarifying questions to anyone who will listen but I think you probably get the general idea
Tldr; I believe I was misdiagnosed has anyone had this experience and later determined that they actually did have ocd? Or later gotten a different diagnosis? I know doubt is a big part of ocd and it's not like it's portrayed in movies, I just don't feel like it describes me well