I (32M) have been with my currently company for about 7 years. At within those periods, I have been promoted twice na. Initially, di ko inexpect na magtatagal ako sa company na to because when I started working here, I only aimed to stay for 6 months lang kasi may "promise" sa akin yung previous company ko after my end of contract.
So until na hindi ako binalikan, and I was fairly treated naman rin, I decided to stay na lang. And besides, nakakatamad maglakad ng paulit ulit sa mga requirements for pre-employment. Nauubusan na ko ng lakas at pasensya. Char!
While being in the company for quite some time now, it was never really my goal to get promoted talaga. Gusto ko lang, nagtatrabaho ako, and sumasahod ng maayos. Started my way from rank & file, tapos naangat as a specialist. Then I was offered to apply as a supervisor. Lo and behold, nakuha ako for the position! This came as a great surprise for me kasi I wasn't really pushing na makuha ko. I presented myself well during the interview, and gave my sample work to show I can contribute sa bagong team. Went far and beyond my job description para mapatunayan na I was serious for the position. Of course, mega OT si kumag kasi nakita nya na ganun ang culture haha!
So within the 3 years of being in the supervisory post, many of the days and night, nangailangang mag todo sa pag OT. Kasi sa simula ng bagong team, iilan pa lang kami. We only started having supports after almost 6 months upon the creation sa team namin kaya sobra ang workload per members. Until na nagkaroon na ng team members, medyo gumaan naman. We were able to lessen our burden, pero madalas parin kaming mag OT. We would render no less than 2 hours kasi ng majority of our tasks, kinapa pa muna namin bago namin nagamay ng husto. At times, I can say na we attributed our team's success with all the extra work na ginagawa namin. Pero when they have opened a managerial position, of which I was actually promised to have given na nga with my tenure in the company, and also the knowledge in the process.
I am using the word "promised" kasi may nakuha na for the position, and I was talked to getting the next available managerial post once magkaroon ng opening. I was fine with it, no biggie. All fair naman with the recruiting process eh. That's when I notices myself taking less overtimes at work, and doing a maximum of 30 minutes to 1 hour na OT. There would still be moments na may additional especially kapag mga last minutes na asked by other departments or team. Di rin naman maiiwasan yun.
Pero fast forward to a few months before na umalis yung senior manager namin and yung manager na directly akong reporting, nag pasa ng resignation. So nagkaroon ulit ng opening. Di rin naman nag abiso ang mga bosses na magkakaroon ng opening, assuming na mag coconduct ulit ng interviews to those interested to apply. Pero when the leaders where already leaving the company, nagkapilian na pala ng mga susunod sa yapak. Ok no, roleta ang pilian? Only to find out na yung kinuha nilang bagong manager hasn't been with the company for quite some time. And this manager has been with some lapses rin. Di ko naman sinasabing perfect ako sa position ko ha. Sinasabi ko lang naman hahaha!
And I had siguro the longest conversation sa senior manager ko what has transpired sa decision process nila. And I was ok with it. Di naman ako galit. Siguro, sumama lang yung loob ko kasi parang I was placed on the side, knowing na ginawa ko naman lahat ng magagawa ko para maqualify ako sa trabaho. Pero of course, wala naman ako sa time ng decision making. And I wasn't even presented an offer. So, ano ba alam ko, diba?
At the beginning of the new management, medyo nahirapan kami sa isa't isa. Of course daming rough patches na di ineexpect. Tapos may mga ibang process na nagbago kaya kapaan ulit. So the relationship that I had with my new manager at the beginning was not so smooth. Napapagalitan madalas, and had to be corrected at times. (Ako po, hindi sya). Pero nagkalaunan, umayos rin naman. And we got the rhythm on each other's workaround sa mga processes na hawak namin.
But there is one thing na talagang nag resonate sakin during our coaching/touchbase namin sa mga ongoing projects and tasks. Sinabi nya: "If you feel na di mo matatapos agad within the work day yung certain task na hindi urgent, ipag-pabukas mo na lang. We need rin our rest para di natin maabuso yung katawan natin. Imbes na we are working for our families, pagbabayaran pa ng health natin yung pag overwork natin." And I somehow understand na di ko pala need abusuhin sarili ko para lang masabi kong "ubos na workload" ko. It only shows how poor sometimes our time management bakit di natin natatapos lahat within the 8 hours work day. And my previous resentment sa manager ko was dissepated dahil sa sinabi nya. Di naman talaga mauubusan ng trabaho. Nandyan na yan eh. Pero it's all about how to manage your time and tasks wisely. So there, I don't render overtime na so much kasi I learned to take care of myself muna. And I have grown to spend more time with my family imbes na nakababad ako sa trabaho. And I love it how I have learned to love that idea rin.

I'll start by saying we've been married for approximately 13 years, and most of that time has been great!
When I met my wife, she was already working as a flight attendant, and we always knew kids were in our future. A couple of years into our marriage, we decided to start trying and now have two amazing kids.
Fast forward, and she’s been back to flying for about three years now.
She works 50% of the time, flying anywhere from 4-7 days per month, mainly back to the US. She also has another part-time home office job where she works 20 hours a week. The hours are flexible, and she can split them up however she wants, working more some weeks and less when she's flying.
Our kids are 6 and 8 and are very active, including participating in competitive sports at a national level. We recently built a house and have a lot of friends with various activities planned each day/week.
Now, enough background and on to the point of the post.
We live in Germany, where there are robust employee protection rights, allowing one to call in sick up to 20 days for personal illness and 10 days per child. Recently, I’ve noticed she’s overwhelmed and stressed, often calling in sick to her flight attendant job mainly to avoid missing the kids' activities (especially the competitive sports).
My salary is OK but not great, considering the total hours worked (flight attendants only get paid when the plane is moving, not for the briefings conducted 4 hours before takeoff). However, her additional income helps with future retirement planning and other expenses.
I recently suggested she evaluate if she still enjoys flying. If not, I proposed she consider quitting and increasing her hours at her other job to about 30 hours a week. This way, she could handle more of our personal lives and the kids' needs (one of our kids has severe ADHD and requires regular attention). This change could provide a more stable environment for our kids and be financially beneficial since the salary is better at her side job. I also pointed out how often the kids say they miss her and ask why she has to fly. To be clear, I always support her by explaining to the kids that this is her job and some moms have jobs that require travel.
This is where she lost it.
She accused me of "trying to take away her happiness" and said that I "married her as a flight attendant." She said, "this is her dream job, and she's not quitting for anyone," basically accusing me of trying to take away her happiness. She also mentioned that "not everyone has to hate their job like you do." To clarify, I don’t hate my job; it fulfills me, but it’s definitely not my dream job.
I tried to explain that people evolve, situations change, and what was practical 10 years ago may not be practical now.
I reminded her that I was a bartender when she met me, living a completely different lifestyle. I decided to get an office job with better pay and more stable hours in anticipation of our family life.
I explained that I really loved bartending, tending to guests, and building social relationships with people.
She then suggested I "go back to doing what I love." I tried explaining how it’s not financially feasible (since the salary is approximately 70% lower) and that we wouldn’t be able to afford our house and current lifestyle.
This is where happiness became conditional. She listed all the things we wouldn’t be able to do if I took a pay cut and ended by saying, "but you can if you want to."
She knows my decision to take a happier role would cause financial discomfort for the entire family, leading to everyone’s unhappiness.
My question is, AITA for asking her to consider trading in her dream job for one that's more compatible with our high-demand lifestyle (where she could potentially earn more)?

Window roller blinds not only serve a practical purpose in controlling light and privacy but also contribute significantly to the aesthetic appeal of your home decor. Selecting the right colors and patterns for your roller blinds can enhance the overall ambiance of your living space and complement your interior design scheme.
In this blog, we'll explore some tips and considerations to help you choose the perfect colors and patterns for your window blinds.

Understanding the Impact of Colors and Patterns

Colors and patterns play a crucial role in interior design, influencing the mood, atmosphere, and visual perception of a space. When selecting roller blinds for your windows, it's essential to consider how different colors and patterns will interact with your existing decor and contribute to the overall look and feel of the room.

1. Consider Your Decor Style

Start by assessing your existing decor style and color palette. Are you aiming for a modern, minimalist look, or do you prefer a more traditional, cozy ambiance? Choose roller blinds that complement the overall aesthetic of your space, whether it's sleek and contemporary or warm and rustic.

2. Create Contrast or Cohesion

Decide whether you want your roller blinds to stand out as a focal point or blend seamlessly with the rest of your decor. Opting for contrasting colors or bold patterns can add visual interest and drama to your windows, while selecting shades that match or complement your wall color and furnishings creates a cohesive and harmonious look.

3. Consider the Room's Functionality

Think about the specific function of each room when choosing colors and patterns for your roller blinds. For instance, in a bedroom where relaxation is key, soothing and calming colors such as soft blues or greens may be preferable. In a home office or study area, vibrant colors or stimulating patterns can energize the space and enhance productivity.

4. Evaluate Natural Light Levels

Take into account the amount of natural light that enters the room through your windows. In rooms with ample sunlight, lighter-colored roller blinds can help maximize brightness and create an airy, spacious feel. In contrast, in rooms with less natural light, darker shades or patterns with depth and texture can add warmth and coziness.

5. Choose Timeless or Trendy Designs

Consider whether you prefer roller blinds with timeless, classic designs that will withstand changing trends or if you're open to experimenting with more trendy or seasonal patterns. Neutral colors such as whites, creams, and grays are versatile and timeless, while bold patterns or vibrant hues can add a contemporary touch.

6. Account for Window Size and Placement

The size and placement of your windows will also influence your choice of colors and patterns for roller blinds. Large windows can accommodate bolder designs without overwhelming the space, while smaller windows may benefit from lighter colors or subtle patterns to avoid feeling crowded.

7. Test Samples Before Committing

Before making a final decision, it's a good idea to order samples or swatches of different colors and patterns to see how they look in your space. This allows you to visualize how the roller blinds will interact with your existing decor and make any necessary adjustments before committing to a purchase.

Conclusion

Choosing the right colors and patterns for your window roller blinds is an important decision that can significantly impact the overall look and feel of your home. By considering factors such as decor style, room functionality, natural light levels, and window size, you can select roller blinds that complement your interior design scheme and enhance the ambiance of every room. Whether you opt for timeless neutrals, bold patterns, or subtle textures, your roller blinds can be both functional and stylish additions to your home decor.

TL;DR. Tried stimulant medication for ADHD a few months ago, an evaluator not giving me the ADHD diagnosis but said I could try meds to see how I reacted. I felt it improved my focus and mental function, but had to discontinue after three days due to anxiety side effect, and a side effect of forgetting about my dogs and being surprised to see them. Wanting to know if the three days would be enough to be confident of my brain being ADHD because non-stimulant options don’t seem strong enough to be able to get a job and then do well in a job. I am thinking about trying stimulants again but want to stop stressing about whether I will react horribly to the meds if I don’t have ADHD.
A few months ago, my PA said that I could try a stimulant (I will name the med if asked but I am not sure if it is allowed to openly share; I didn’t see in the rules but I want to be safe). The evaluator I saw said that I could try stimulants to see how I react and if I basically did stuff like stare at the hairs on my arm for hours then I am not ADHD (now realizing it was not a complete evaluation because it was a conversational interview that only lasted for two hours and the reasons I wasn’t diagnosed with Autism and ADHD came down to the evaluator’s bias). I ended up having to go off of the stimulant because it increased my anxiety and I wasn’t on a good anxiety med to handle it, but for three days I took it and I felt like it did improve my mental function a bit until it wore off, and then the anxiety just crashed in. It did also have a secondary side effect where I seemed to forget about my dogs, and then I would see them and be surprised by seeing them.
But, the part I am not sure about is that my PA told me that I would know pretty quickly how I would react (whether it is within the realm of ADHD response or not). But then my therapist at the time told me a week, and then a month to be sure. It was also a trial to see if I had a psychotic disorder or bipolar, which I was diagnosed with by a previous PA but ADHD started seeming like a better explanation, so that was additionally stressful. So, I don’t know if those three days would be enough to know.
I am asking because I have started on a Strattera and Welbutrin combo since January / February (Welbutrin as a part of Auvelity, which is a combo med with Dextromethorphan) and been on them for a few months and now pretty stable. They work well together for my anxiety and depression, as well as some of my executive function. But I am currently unemployed and know that I am not at the point where I would be able to focus in a job very easily.
I struggled in school because I would always need to be doing something engaging (like be on my computer, usually not taking notes) to be able to sit still in lectures and even discussion classes. I always felt like I was running a marathon and constantly losing track of everything. I often did work that felt half-assed, and I could not keep up with readings. And my tutoring job where I sat in on the classes I was tutoring for always ended with me being on my computer working on my creative writing until I could help out in class.
So, even with the non-stimulant medication, I am pretty certain I will struggle in the same ways in any job I get, no matter how hard I try. Even now, I need to wait for my brain to feel it’s the “right time” to write cover letters and apply for jobs. Otherwise, it feels like that course of action is completely blocked off and I haven’t yet found a modality that gets me to being able to do more applications quicker. I don’t think this is Demand Avoidance, but more that my brain just isn’t in the right place to be able to talk about myself and find the right words to put on paper and the page is hard to stare at and think of words, if that makes sense. Even when I have a basic template.
It just feels like my only option is to try stimulants again while I have the non-stimulants on board, but I am not even confident the Strattera would be enough to handle the increase in anxiety, because it was a lot. Like the valve broke and the anxiety got all over the floor in my brain and started flooding, figuratively. So, I am just a little stressed to try that again, but I feel it would be good to know if the three days were enough to be sure of an ADHD brain because then maybe I could not stress about trying a different stimulant so much and being worried I would zone out looking at the hairs on my arm for hours.

Context: I am a 19M from Kenya and have been struggling with my faith for 4 years. I have somewhat taken a break from religion to re-evaluate and challenge my own beliefs.
Basically the one question that keeps coming up is whether someone who has lived a good life (spreading love, helping where they can, ofcourse makes mistakes but does there best to correct them. etc) deserves to go to hell because they happen to be Muslim or a non-believer when God put them in that situation in the first place.
I know I'm going to be hit with the John 3.16 "...that whoever believes in him..." but look at it like this how hard would it be for you if you grew up a Muslim should you be punished for being steadfast in your beliefs when God placed you there. For example a kid who is born, raised and dies in Saudi Arabia when will here the word of God and if he did what would even make him/her think of leaving their beliefs.
The annoying thing is some people just say that the Muslims and aethists are just wrong and therefore deserve suffering. What superiority complex does one sit on to just condemn good people who God placed in those lives.
Does Gandhi deserve eternal damnation he was a Hindu ? Would Mr Beast after helping all the people he does deserve it because hes agnostic? What if Nelson Mandela wasn't Christian?
What about Steve the dude whose 45 working a good job, a loving wife and kids who has lived a very fulfilling life but was raised aethist ?
Yeah I'm just curious what do people here think because this question eats at me every day and is probably the number one reason I'm struggling with my faith. I have many Muslim friends and some aethist friends who are by no means perfect but simply trying to live in this broken world.
PS. Sorry if it's too wordy and not articulate.

I am not the OOP. The OOP is u/Ok_Outcome3739 posting in AITAH
Concluded as per OOP
1 update - Medium
Original - 11th May 2024
Update - 13th May 2024
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AITA For being cautious about letting my ex back into our daughter's life after 5 years?
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I 29F have a 5F with my ex 32M. We were engaged but never really planned to have kids before marriage or at least for the next few years. I was on the pill and he used protection sometimes but I ended up pregnant. Since it was unplanned. Abortion was on the table. He was more into making it work so both of us decided to keep the baby. I wasn't emotionally prepared but for him love is all it takes to make everything work. Fast forward 6 months he started to change.
He would give me the silent treatment if I do something wrong. He wouldn't engage in any conversation about the baby and would just yell at me if I ask what's wrong. I was almost 8 months pregnant when he told me he's just not ready to be a father and can't do both things. It's either fatherhood or his career. I was scared to be a single mother so I told him it's fine I can take care of our baby and be a SAHM until things get better for him, but he refused and made it clear everything is over. Since the house was his I left and went to live with my mom until I found myself a place.
I gave birth to my baby girl and he never came to see her. His mother and sister were there for me and to this day they're still part of my daughter's life. As for him he gave up his parental rights and granted me full custody (legally) but was willing to contribute financially through child support (He voluntarily provides financial support in an amicable arrangement).
I'm not proud of it but there are nights I called him just to ask him why did he do that to us. I wasn't even ready but seeing him happy and excited made me think we could make it work together. He never really answered my calls. We used to communicate through his mother or sister or email. I love my baby and won't ever see her as a mistake. I'm still doing my best to be the best mother she deserves. I have a good paying job now and everything is better than before.
Now here's the thing. After 5 years and when I finally feel my life got better and figured out my shit, he wants to get involved. He's been calling and texting me for a week now. He doesn't regret a thing and he's not asking. He's telling me that he has the right to see his daughter and be there for her.
How can I trust him not to wake up one day and decide being in her life is a mistake and disappear again? He can do that to me but I just don't want my daughter to get hurt. I told him he can see her but not this way. He wants more than just to see her. He even threatened me if I don't agree then he has no problem telling her in the future how I'm the reason she grew up without a father.
His mother and even my mother want me to just let him into my daughter's life with no exceptions. And I'm not comfortable doing that because I know him. WIBTA if I decide on what's best for our daughter or just suck it up and let him in?
Edit: just wanted to mention English isn't my first language, so sorry if there are any errors. Also sorry if this is a bit long but I wanted to give you all the details.
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Comments
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Necessary_Future_275
He gave up his rights. That literally means he has NO rights! What a terrible person he is. I would not trust him. First he wants a baby then when it’s too late for an abortion he doesn’t and you have to raise her on your own then 5 years later he DEMANDS to be in her life. He’s entitled to nothing yet egotistical and selfish enough to still believe what he wants is all that matters. How long before he changes his mind again and breaks your daughter’s heart the same way he broke yours?

OOP: This is what I'm afraid of. I don't want her to go through that.

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Wolf_dragon_32
He gave up his rights to her. He can’t do anything but just blow smoke up your ass. If he says that he will tell her why she has no father counter that with the truth to his face! He was a coward and wanted his career and gave up his rights to be part of her life. He has no say in her life due to his own choices.
Tell ex to kick rocks and not call you anymore. Tell grandmas that if they try to bring your daughter around him then you will re-evaluate their relationship with her; as you are her mom
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**Judgement - NTA*\*
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Update - 2 days later
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He didn't stop with the calls and texts and I read some of the comments wondering why he suddenly wants to be in my daughter's life so I agreed to meet up with him and discuss everything yesterday. We talked for about 30 mins. 30 mins of me trying to explain to him that he literally gave up his parental rights years ago and there's no need for threatening since he legally has no right to see her if I don't allow him.
While he was focused on expressing how I haven't changed and complimenting my body. His comments became too much so I decided to just leave but I noticed he was wearing a ring on his right hand and didn't hesitate to ask him about it. He said he proposed a few weeks ago but he thinks he rushed things. I asked him if she knows about my daughter and if this is why he's here. He said no she still doesn't know and he genuinely wants to be part of his daughter's life.
He basically spent 30 mins flirting with no shame that he's engaged and showed no sign of being genuinely interested in getting involved. I told him to just forget about my daughter but if he wants to we can see a judge and they can laugh at him. He threatened to cut financial support and I made it clear I never really needed his help. Sending me $1000 once or twice a year with his sister was already no help and I can give back his money if he wants to.
Now I know what I did wrong but it was the only way to get the answer I needed. On my way home I called his sister and lied about how things went. I said that he told me everything and how his fiancée encourages him to be a better person and I think that's why he wants in which is a good thing.
His sister told me everything I needed to know. How his fiancée has a good heart and how she didn't like it when she discovered that he has a daughter but never saw her before. She basically wouldn't have said yes if he didn't promise to try and fix things. So both his mother and sister knew the reason he wanted to get back into my daughter's life and his mother encouraged me to let him in without even being honest with me.
So all this wasn't about my daughter. It was about him and impressing his fiancée who was horrified that he wants nothing to do with his daughter. My mother gets it now but his mother called the same day asking what's the plan now. I told her there's no plan. He could have just given me full custody but he wanted nothing to do with her to the point he decided to sign away his rights.
And he seemed already fine with the relationship they have which is none. She tried to make me consider letting him in because at the end it's my daughter's decision. My daughter is 5 years old what decision?? Anyway I made it clear to her that both her and her daughter legally aren't my child's family and from now on there will be no alone time with her. And if they keep pressing me I can easily cut them out.
I will discuss this with a lawyer though. I have everything documented and I'm sure he doesn't have a leg to stand on but still. Just in case he tries something.
And let me show you some of his texts that I'm very tempted to get his fiancée's number and send her some screenshots. English isn't our first language so I translated them for you
"Who sees you now would never tell you weren't ready for this. you look happier"
"You know I really didn't know how much I missed you until I saw you today"
"Good night beautiful kiss (my daughter's name) for me"
I don't know if I'm just overreacting but if my fiancé texts his ex this way. I for sure won't find it acceptable.
By the way with him back. I realized that I never really dealt with the way he broke my heart. Maybe I cried but I had to figure out my life as soon as I could for the sake of my daughter. When I gave birth all I started thinking about was my daughter. Even the nights I called him it was never to ask about 'me' it was always about 'us'. I was scared and not ready to be a mom. And now that I'm a mother I've never felt this strong. I don't know what I'm trying to say here but I'm glad how my life turned out.
Thank you for the advice. I'm glad I gathered the courage to see him. I feel so much better. At least now I know I don't have to worry about him shaking my baby's life up
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Comments
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henchwench89
Im sorry you have to deal with this jerk op. So many people in your og post called it. He’s only interested in your daughter because of his new woman
Honesty block him and go very lc with his family because they are not looking out for your or your daughters best interest

OOP: Thank you. I'm planning to do that but he's still not done with the threats about telling lies to my daughter. I'm trying to gather everything I can before I block him.

henchwench89
Thats fair. Mute him so the messages still accumulate but you have a break from them
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Actual-Offer-127
Yeah, if I was his fiancee I would thank you if you told me about this. He's lying to her with the help of his family. That poor girl is getting blind sided. She thinks he should reconnect with his daughter because she probably has a good heart. I feel bad for her
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I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP.
Please remember the No Brigading Rule and to be civil in the comments

Debit/Credit Cards Accepted No Closing Costs Cash Price: $1,650 Finance with $200 Down and 18 Payments of $100 Per Month No Credit Check, No Income Documentation, No Prepayment Penalty 

I’m looking for advice. I (25F) am the leaseholder of my 2-bedroom apartment, and I am on the lookout for someone to fill my open second bedroom. Roommates I meet from Facebook usually have a bad track record, and I tend to think until all the right questions have been asked and that they are gonna be as nice as they seem… until that’s not the case. I end up realizing where I went wrong on some occasions: my last roommate I let in had no experience living away from home and family (20-21F), and she showed herself as being very immature on several occasions and also had some diagnosed mental disorders that she took medication for but did not regularly keep in touch with a therapist, so I saw things escalating worse and her taking such personal approaches to things I would ask (such as the kitchen being cleaned after she gets done, my stuff being taken care of, sustainable approaches for utilities, etc.), which led to me having to give her the notice to move (without leaving her high and dry… I gave her a list of places to look which was way more help than I had when I first started). When I first saw a Facebook post of hers in a group, she said she was moving for work, so I made the mistake of assuming she was older than she was, and she was actually moving and getting a job down here to be close to her boyfriend she met on an app and had been seeing for less than a year. So I saw more red flags being raised the more I found out, and she was rude to our neighbors on occasion (who I’ve never had beef with), and her boyfriend was always over when she was off work (and always left messes, which she chuckled at as if it was “cute”), but I was waiting it out to see where I needed to put my foot down. Another one of my roommates through Facebook was during my senior year of college, which she stayed up downing liquor with her friends all night and constantly kept me up, so the lesson learned there was to ask how much drinking and partying they do. That was also a place where I was not there first, so I ultimately accepted that I just needed to wait it out until I could find somewhere else. I never have more than two of anything when I’m having drinks, and I’m pretty much past the stage of the party scene being appealing to me. I don’t smoke, I don’t stay up super late (and I have epilepsy, so sleep deprivation is super triggering and borderline deadly for me anyway if I’m kept up).
All of this to ask: in my new search, in my pursuits, what questions do I ask? And how would I know they’d tell me the truth? I admit that I am on the pickier side when it comes to my things being taken care of. I was raised with the mindset of being mindful of how to take care of the things you work hard for, so I am particular about the way the dishes are washed so that nothing gets ruined or cracked, straightening up the common spaces after you’ve been in them, using good cleaning supplies when cleaning the house. My dishes also cost a lot of money, and I have plates and glassware on the fragile side (so while they’re dishwasher safe, they can’t be crowded together in there and I especially am a hard charger about rinsing off the dishes before loading them… and some of my stuff is strictly handwash only). I used to get made fun of for it and was even gaslit into thinking I had OCD, so in wanting to know my mind and how I worked, I went to get a psych evaluation, and I’m in the clear of any mental disorders. I’m very organized as well, and I’ve worked in restaurants and event venues where you really practice keeping things as neat as possible even when you’re super busy and it feels like you have 5 things to do at once. I was also raised in keeping a neat house (by a single mom who worked 2 jobs and took care of her parents living on the other side of town, so nobody was busier than she was), so I carried over an especially appreciative and mindful mindset from those years, and I’m diligent about the high standards I set because they are not without reason.

These are the basic facts. I hope I’m not leaving anything important out

• Child born out of wedlock
• Father on birth certificate
• Father also has two older school age children (50/50), with whom child has bonded
• Mother had full custody for two years
• Child is 5, in school (doing well), daycare (doing well), extra curriculars
• No physical or mental abuse
• No mental illness issues
• No drug or alcohol issues
• No police record
• Initial custody evaluation good for both parents
• Parents live 2-3 miles apart, close to all of child’s school/activities, so no disruptions
• Father has full time job, work from home, 30 years steady employment, regular hours
• Father has family nearby with whom child has developed bonds
• Father is cooperative with mother’s schedule change requests, pays all monthly and extra fees in timely manner, attends events, takes child to scheduled extracurriculars
• Father never cancels or changes schedule
• Father is prompt and on time for pickups
• Child is always clean and ready for pickup by mother
• Mother is high-conflict, father follows BIFF
• Parents use parenting app (contentious and hostile language from mother, father is polite, but BIFF)
• Temp order 3 years ago started one overnight with father every other weekend, multiple visits during week
• Next order 2 years ago extended father’s time to full weekends every other week, and one overnight on a weeknight each week (total 8 days a month)
• Coparent counseling ordered. Mother uncooperative and hostile during sessions
• After 18 months, father is requesting 50/50
• Mother is against any change
• Mother claims child is not doing well, and fathefamily are mentally unwell (unspecified), but rejected additional psych evaluation
• Both parties have attorneys

Hope this isn’t too vague. Just the facts of the current situation

How to Get Off the Waitlist and Negotiate Better Financial Aid for Medical School

Written and edited by the MCAT Self Prep Tutoring Team
Home of the Free MCAT Prep Course
It’s that time of year again! Every April, medical school applicants begin the last phase of the medical school journey: negotiations.

• April 15th, MD applicants with multiple acceptances must narrow their acceptances down to 3 final schools.
• April 30th, applicants with multiple acceptances may now only hold 1 acceptance.

While you can still maintain all of your positions on any waitlists, this narrowing process allows for mobility. New spots become available for individuals to move off of waitlists, additional financial aid frees up to be redistributed, and added movement creates the perfect opportunity for negotiation. These tips helped me turn my dream school (UCLA) from one of my most expensive initial offers into the cheapest option overall! Through our admissions consulting program, these strategies have also helped my students get into top 10 medical schools and save hundreds of thousands of dollars in financial aid. I hope they can help you too!
Whether you are hoping to turn a waitlist into an acceptance or get more financial aid, you must understand that asking never hurts. The worst thing that can happen in negotiation is that the medical school says…. no. If the worst-case scenario plays out, you’ll simply be back in the exact position from where you started. With a huge potential payoff and minimal downside, realize that advocating for yourself at this stage may be the most critical piece in applying to medical school. This realization empowered me to be bold in three key ways.

1. Communicating interest/intent (most important)

To achieve success in negotiation, medical schools need to know that they will gain something from the process. Your most powerful bargaining tool is your willingness to attend their institution. Understand that medical schools care deeply about their retention rate (the percentage of admitted students who ultimately choose to attend). Even the schools with the highest retention rates only retain about 70% of their admitted students. So if a school can guarantee that they will keep you, this dramatically improves your chances of a successful negotiation.
When negotiating, you can extend promises to various schools depending on your interest level. The strongest commitment you can send a school is “____ is my top choice for medical school and I will attend ____ if admitted, no matter the cost or other circumstances.” This commitment is the best thing you can say to increase your odds of turning a waitlist into an acceptance. The next most powerful thing you could say would be, “This is my top choice and I will attend ____ if admitted, barring any significant financial barriers.” This allows for some wiggle room if you ultimately decide not to attend. The least strong statement you can make is, “____ is one of my top choices for medical school and I am extremely interested in matriculating, barring any significant financial restraints, etc.”
This final statement does not guarantee anything to the given school other than your interest. However, if you make these statements, you must follow through with your promises. While you want to make the school believe that you will attend, you do not want to lie. Lying in negotiations is not only wrong, but it can ultimately hurt your chances if discovered. You must follow through with any clear commitments that you make. Remember, the more a school is convinced of your commitment to attend, the more favorably they will treat you.

2. Updates

Updates are another essential part of negotiation. They communicate your interest in the school and potentially sway a committee to extend you an acceptance or more aid. Yet, updates are not as important as expressing interest. For the most part, if a school interviewed you, that means that they believe you could succeed at their institution academically.
Understand that once you make it past the interview, your job is to show how you would contribute to the class, not to prove that you are competent. New publications, significant awards, and updated hours help to establish a pattern of excellence but try to frame these updates into how they would benefit your classmates rather than how impressive they make you seem.

3. Negotiating with multiple medical school offers

Whether hoping to move off of a waitlist or more financial aid, you should always use competing offers as bargaining tools. If you are hoping to get off of a waitlist, use other offers as a way to express your commitment to your top choice waitlists. Tell them that you would instead attend school ____ than your current offer. If you can promise them that you will attend, this will further increase your commitment in their eyes. Other offers can also help negotiate financial aid with competing schools. Be careful. Playing schools off each other can be extremely delicate as you still want to establish that you are deeply committed to attending the school of interest.
However, you’ll need to play hard to get. If you tell them directly that you will happily attend with their current financial package, there will be no need for them to increase your aid. Not all schools are open to negotiation, but if they are willing, I would highly recommend this approach. For example, you could express that attending a different school would allow for a lower cost, better location, proximity to family, any factor that could influence your decision. Ultimately, simply asking could save you thousands of dollars.
Here is a sample letter:

This opening letter establishes intent, using the second-highest form of commitment: commitment to enroll if there are not significant financial barriers. I also told the school that they were my #1 choice. Here, I promise to attend their school if they offer a specific amount.

Bonus Tip: Playing hard to get

Remember that sometimes you need to start with a higher request in negotiations than what you expect. In negotiation, the receiving end may counter-offer with a lower amount until you arrive at a happy medium. This is exactly what happened to me! The school I negotiated with came back and offered me more aid, but an amount that was significantly less than I had hoped. In response, I decided to play hard-to-get. While I do not always recommend this choice, there was nothing to lose at this point.
Again, I cannot stress enough the maintaining your commitment to attend the school. Even while playing hard to get. Your commitment to attend the school is your most powerful bargaining chip, do not spend it lightly.

After sending this letter, the school I was negotiating with came back with the offer that I was hoping. Now, I will never know whether this letter was the ultimate reason for my successful negotiation, but similar tactics have worked for other students as well. I hope these tips help get you off waitlists and negotiate for better financial aid. Medical school is incredibly expensive, but remember that this investment will be worth it regardless of cost.
If you need personalized help in applying for medical school, please reach out for a FREE consultation. We also offer an application advising course and one-on-one consulting sessions for those needing a personalized advantage. Just starting out, boost your MCAT score with our 100% FREE eCourse that covers everything you need to know for the MCAT. I used this free course and it helped me get a perfect 528 score on the MCAT!
Warm regards,
Theo
Theo scored a perfect score (528) on the MCAT and has been accepted at Harvard, UPenn, Columbia, UCLA, and other top 10 medical schools across the country.

Hello! I graduated in fall 2022 with my BA in psychology, I am now at the point to where I feel ready to peruse my MA in Counseling Mental Health. (US based)
I asked my capstone professor for a letter of recommendation-she told me no.
I absolutely bombed my capstone project, it was a horrible mixture of things: pseudoscience class, working two jobs, apparently not understanding what the expectations of the project was, going first. Which is academia those are all just excuses. I should have done better.
Genuinely became the “what not to do” for my colleagues. I felt absolutely stupid and that I was not cut out for this field because of that one project.
The professor told me that because of that project and my writing and speaking for it-she can not in good faith recommend me. Also that I just made a B in the class, according to her email it was barely even a B.
Do I say fuck it and ask other professors for their input or is she right? That class is an evaluation of where you are at, and clearly my work wasn’t good enough.
Can I just redo my whole degree at this point? 😅
Mind you I made an A- in the other class I took from the same professor. She was very respectful about it, and it’s easy to for me to believe she’s right.
I’m just broken and embarrassed.

I am assuming that most of the people in this sub are in their late teens/early twenties/thirties (although I could be wrong and there is also a sampling bias for all those receiving treatment not on this sub). However, I am wondering, could the fact that I started my orthodontic treatment in elementary school (grade 7), then continued through all of highschool, have contributed to the fact that I had a poor outcome with jaw surgery? Could this have been because the techniques/aims were dated at the time and not as innovative as they are now? For context, I am 26 this year. As I was so young at the time I declined surgery initially during my orthodontic work because I was not aware of the huge benefits it would provide and was more focused on my nose (which is genetic but I think partly related to having poor jaw occlusion). I never recall being told at all that I need to widen my upper jaw/reasons for why I had a severe overbite, etc, whereas now several providers have told me that I have a narrow palate. The focus was just on bringing he lower jaw forward and then when I declined that they resorted to camouflage orthodontics with the metal springs and elastics. Fast-forward to when I was 19 and decided to get the lower jaw surgery spontaneously due to being "in line" with provincial insurance, turns out I was never off the list. Obviously there was no preparation done for this and I had very minimal improvement, now left with a skeletal class II bite, no overbite/overjet, and mild anterior open bite. My question is - should I pursue orthodontics/surgery again as an adult in my late 20s if it didn't turn out well in my adolescence? Is this common? Is there a reasonwhy people on this sub are older than when I was when I started orthodontics? I'm really trying to figure out why my parents spent so much money on braces/etc and my results still turned out poor - I'm having to use money to supplement with fillers, rhinoplasty etc when the job should have been fixed by having normal jaws. Anyone have any insight?

Hello, I will be speaking about all the test phases I went through to become a detention officer for future people who are applying as a detention officers.
I submitted my application on 3/11/2024 and I applied for HCSO (Harris County Sherriff Office)
Physical Agility- I went for the physical agility test on 03/20/2024 and what we did during the test was squats with hands straight forward, another thing we did was doing squats on motion but while putting one knee to the ground and bending it and the last thing we did was being able to lift a dummy which weighted i think 30 or 60 kg to the other side of the hallway and bringing it back. The exercises were very easy and everyone passed it that was there with me.
Background phase- This phase took the longest, they began my background phase on 03/20/2024 and ended on 05/06/2024. I had two background different investigators assigned to me, they transferred my investigation to another BI during about the 2nd week of being in contact with my first one. On 04/17/2024 I received a call from my BI and we scheduled a in person interview. I dressed normally as I was told to do so. While being there I was asked mainly 1 question and I think it was "why do I want this job" and "do I see this as a long term". I was asked questions about if I had ever done drugs and why I was fired from my old job and just some basic questions they always ask. After these questions I was given a form which was the "polygraph" It was a paper asking questions about all types of stuff. They didn't use a lie detector on me, I just did the paper and they believed in my answers. After the interview my BI said to email them if there isn't any updates on my case and exactly two weeks later I emailed her and she submitted my files and I moved on the the next phase and filled a form to accept the job offer.
Medical phase- This was the last phase, it began on 05/06/2024 and was the quickest phase and finished in about two days. I went to a mental doctor and did physical evaluation test, I had to do two assessments and had a final interview with him. He asked me basic questions about myself and then went on asking me questions about situations in a jail and a question I remember he asked was "What would you do if inmates or people in the jail call your racial things and I to summarize it I said I will ignore it and use brain instead of fist. I passed this test and did drug test same day which I had to pee in something and after submitting the stuff to the people, I got accepted two days later and had my orientation on 05/14/2024 and will began the academy training very soon in two days.
Thank you for your time and I hope this will help future officers who will need help with questions!

I am 31 years old and I am married with two kids. I strongly suspect that my oldest (almost 4) has ASD and I'm actually getting him formally tested next week.
In the process of paying a lot of attention to my son's behavior and trying to figure out how to best support him I've realized...I might have ASD too. It runs in my family. My brother has diagnosed autism. However, I've never been diagnosed/ suspected or anything. But I've been learning more and thinking and I really truly suspect that I am on the spectrum too.
What really sealed the deal is that I spoke with a colleague today who has autism. Originally, I was asking him for advice about my son, but I just let it slip that I don't think I'm neurotypical either. He literally said, "I don't think you are either. When I first met you I noticed that you stim, your eye contact is off, and you speak differently than everyone else."
I've always felt like something was "off" about me or different. For example, I feel like all my life I've studied people and their behavior like a scientist to learn how to act in ways that are expected of me. It's like a script I follow that makes me appear "normal" to others. But even with that there are things about me that people notice. Like how I rock my body back and forth pretty much all the time. My eye contact is never direct. There's also certain smells that are totally intolerable to me and certain textures. I can't deal with satin for instance.
I also get overstimulated at times and I like to put my entire body under a blanket to block everything out. I have blankets in every sitting area in my house to accommodate this.
But then there are things about me that don't seem to cohere with autism. For example, I really need to multitask. I ironically focus better on what someone is saying if I can play a simple phone game while I listen. I have great executive functioning. I feel like I can understand what people are thinking and feeling.
My question is - should I get formally evaluated at my age? I can "get along" in society and I don't think any of these things necessarily hinder me but they do make me feel like I work harder to be able to seem normative. I'm a college professor and I love my job and I think I do well at it. I don't know what I'd necessarily "get" from a diagnosis or if I'd even get a diagnosis since I'm so good at looking normal. It's more of an internal sense that I have that I'm acting and this isn't who I am. I feel most comfortable at home with my husband who I think is also neurodivergent and accepts my quirks and doesn't even recognize that some of them are indeed quirks since he has quirks of his own lol.
Any thoughts are appreciated.

she works as a parapro at a public school that recently got a new set of admin. some very important people do not like someone that she is good friends with. she believes that this is why she is treated this way.
she has gotten scolded multiple times for doing something right (another admin asked her to do something instead of her usual task and she got in trouble for doing the alternative thing, etc). she works with young disabled children and has gotten in trouble because they run off or something, as special needs little kids are known to do. she is disabled and cant move very fast and they hit her then run and she gets in trouble for not being able to grab them.
recently she got her evaluation. she was written up and put on a PIP that prevents her from transferring schools or getting a raise for a year. her evaluation said some of the following
she does not follow the teachers instructions,she is unwilling to help, she is often not where she is supposed to be, she does not take initiative.
and some more things alone that line. now, im not at her job, but that is NOT my mom. she is actively trying to get a promotion so she has taken a bunch of (not mandatory) courses to help her be better at her job. her teacher left her a glowing review that was supposed to be factored into the evaluation because the admins (the people evaluating her) are not in the classroom with her. they do not see her perform her job. they told my mom that those were the observations that they have made on the few times they came in to watch, but ignored everything that the person who works with my mom said about her.
multiple people have similar gripes with the admin. some have quit because of it or taken their children out of the school. my mom is very stressed and we are already poor so for this to happen and to go on her record while she's trying to advance is devastating to her. are there any laws or something that protect workers from being mistreated like this? how can she fight back?

It seems that AI is best suited for automating things that require content development, like writing job descriptions.
But when it comes to performance evaluation, I’m having a hard time seeing exactly where AI can be applied. In writing performance reviews? That seems dangerous.
Anyone have any good sources to read up on where to apply AI in HR? Anyone personally using AI in their roles currently?

Hello everyone, have a close friend who’s looking for a job as a GP in Orthopedics or Trauma after escaping a Warzone! All his paperwork and evaluations are done. If anyone can point me in the right direction as I’m not in the same field that would be amazing thanks.

Hi there Everyone, My name is Royal. I'm looking for some RPs; if we've got something going on I'm not replacing you just want a couple more partners. We can discuss plots, ideas, etc.
Potential Partners

• Must be 18+; ideally 21+- I'm 32 so yeah.
• Be willing to communicate- I get life happens. Just let me know.
• Be willing to double- I don't mind doubling, and will do it. Gives everyone something to look forward to.
• Be LGBTQ+ friendly- Not negotiable. I'm gay and this is important.
• Help with planning- Rping is a team sport, so help with planning.
• Don't ghost- Refer to the second bullet point.
• Have good grammar and punctuation
• Be open of OOC chat.
• Third person, past tense writing style- More of a preference than requirement.
  About me
  
• I’m 32, Male and live in the Pacific Time Zone; willing to RP with anytime zone.
  
• Posting length I aim for about 2-4 paragraphs per response, I prefer quality over quantity.
  
• Frequency of posting I tend for every couple of days. I work two jobs; one full time and one part time.
  
• I usually play on discord, and prefer to do it there.
  
• My pairings are almost always going to be MxM; willing to do MxF for your character. Will not play female characters or do FXF pairings; it comes off as a male writing female. There are a couple of exceptions which are noted in the fandoms and pairings section.
  
• I have samples if you'd like to see them. Please have a sample as well if you ask for mine.
  

Fandoms and pairings The pairings will be me playing the OC. Again I'm willing to double for you. Anything italicized is what I'm craving right now.

1. Assassin's Creed- EzioxOC, JacobxOC, ConnorxOC, EivorxOC, AlexiosxOC, OCxOC
2. Avengers- BuckyxOC, Captain AmericaxOC, ThorxOC, LokixOC, Star LordxOC, Spider-ManxOC, OCXOC
3. Avatar the Last AirbendeLegend of Korra- SokkaxOC, BolinxOC, OCxOC
4. Batman/Gotham Knights- Jason ToddxOC, Nightwing (Dick Grayon)xOC
5. Bauldr's Gate 3- WyllxOC, HalsinxOC, OCxOC
6. Baywatch 2017 Movie- MattxOC, MitchxOC
7. Bridgerton/Queen Charlotte- BenedictxOC, ColinxOC, SimonxOC, OCxOC <-- Possible to be MxF for OCxOC
8. Critical Role- CalebxOC, FjordxOC, VaxxOC, MollymaukxOC, PercyxOC, OrymxOC, AshtonxOC,
9. Disney- KristoffxOC, HerculesxOC, AladdinxOC, Flynn RiderxOC
10. Game Of Thrones/House of The Dragon- Jon SnowxOC, Rob StarkxOC, DrogoxOC, OCxOC
11. Harry PotteHogwarts Legacy- Charlie WeasleyxOC, Bill WeasleyxOC, SiriusxOC (Set during the first Wizarding War), Sebastian SallowxOC, OCxOC
12. How to Train Your Dragon- HiccupxOC, EretxOC
13. Jurassic World- OwenxOC
14. Pokémon- RedxOC, SparkxOC, Professor KukuixOC, Lt. SurgexOC, LeonxOC, BrawlyxOC, StevenXOC, MortyxOC, BrockxOC,OCxOC
15. Star Wars- Cal KestisxOC, Obi-WanxOC, OCxOC
16. Supernatural- SamxOC
17. Warrior Cats- OCxOC <-- Will only be MxF pairing(s).

Other Ideas/Original

1. Super Natural Race (Demon, Vampire, Werewolf, Etc) x Human
2. Prince x Bodyguard
3. Quarterback x New Kid in school
4. Greek Gods
5. Governor's Son x Pirate Captain
6. Gladiator x Slave
7. Medieval Fantasy Setting
8. Any of the following time periods: Victoria Era, Regency Era, Turn of the 20th Century, 1920's, Ancient Rome/Greece, Tudor England
9. Dragon Riders, Griffin Riders, Fantasy or Modern setting
10. Country Boy x City Boy