Facebook about me ideas
Life Is Strange
2014.07.30 17:32 Life Is Strange
Life is Strange is a series of games, published by Square Enix, revolving around a heavily story driven narrative that is affected by your choices. The games are developed by Don't Nod and Deck Nine Games.
2014.03.08 04:09 dark_manuel Startup ideas - for inventors, entrepreneurs and investors
This subreddit is for sharing innovative startup ideas. Links and discussion about startups and descriptions of startups are welcome! Share ideas. Improve ideas. Expand upon other ideas. Combine ideas. Implement ideas.
2014.03.12 12:36 CrayonsForBrains Corrupting children's coloring books.
Get some crayons and a coloring book to turn adorable pictures into twisted and or hilarious corruptions of their former selves.
2024.05.17 10:30 baklava_enjoyer Login Error: There is an error logging you into this application. Please try again later
I got logged out of a mobile game I play that is linked to my facebook account, and no matter what I do, I can't log back in. Customer Support of the game ran out of options and told me to contact Facebook, but until I get a reply I'll probably be retired.
I've tried everything from deinstalling and logging in, to reinstalling and logging in, to clearing caches etc., but nothing seems to work. I do get a different error when facebook is deinstalled on my device ("Sorry, something went wrong. We are working on it and we'll get it fixed as soon as we can."), but when facebook is installed I get the error mentioned in the title. I've seen other people on reddit talk about this issue years ago, but couldn't find anyone who actually solved the issue. Any ideas?
submitted by baklava_enjoyer to facebook [link] [comments]
I've tried everything from deinstalling and logging in, to reinstalling and logging in, to clearing caches etc., but nothing seems to work. I do get a different error when facebook is deinstalled on my device ("Sorry, something went wrong. We are working on it and we'll get it fixed as soon as we can."), but when facebook is installed I get the error mentioned in the title. I've seen other people on reddit talk about this issue years ago, but couldn't find anyone who actually solved the issue. Any ideas?
2024.05.17 07:51 SuperGrapefruit6563 AITA
Bare with me as with might be a long and confusing story.
Was with my ex fiancé 25 male (I am 27 female) for almost 6 years. I gave birth to our beautiful daughter 2 years ago. I had many concerns about my ex fiancé since the first day when he called her a bitch in the hospital ( this is the day she was born) I remember feeling absolutely sick to my stomach. ( I will also add that he was not present for the birth of our daughter which I constantly feel guilty about; I had previously made jokes that I did not want him in the room I was not serious at the time but truthfully I already felt so violated I didn't want him seeing what i imagine was a horrific scene) I actually did kick him out of the delivery room but only because he was cussing at me and screaming at me about five minutes before I was about to push, this was the only time I ever cried during labor, and told him to please just leave.
He went to the waiting area and came back shortly after I had my daughter The first thing he said to me is how his mother and whole family said, I was crazy for not allowing him in the delivery room, note, his mom is extremely malicious, manipulative, psychotic narcissist, who demands control of everything if she doesn't get it, she loses her mind but we will get to that part later.
Fast forward to get home from the hospital and the first six months of my daughters life were hell only because of her father he would constantly threaten to break her legs or neck when she was crying. He rarely helped me. I stayed up every night all night when she was a reverse cycling . He constantly insulted me made me feel worthless. One day when we were having a fairly great day he randomly said to me no man would want to be with me because I had a child. He he wanted me to stay home, but as I wanted to contribute, I tried to go back to work a few months later. It was only about three days a week, this lasted for maybe a month his mom would come over during this period of time and his mom physically caught him one morning screaming "shut the fuck up bitch" at our then 3 month old baby.she texted me about it followed by delete this text. I was very naive since I actually deleted the text which i really regret as we are in a custody battle and this would have really helped me out. I know the most shameful part is I know I should've left much sooner I should've left the first time he her called her a bitch but I kept thinking if I continued to talk to him about it, he would get better but it only got worse Me and my daughter end up leaving for a few weeks after physical altercation with her father we stayed with my mom, but after a lot of convincing from her father. We were returned not long after. This did not last long as once again we left permanently about a month after this. From the beginning of us, not getting along and me leaving the first time his mother posted publicly to Facebook and tagged my parents in psychotic rambling post about how terrible a person I am she would send me actual novels number one through 20 of every single thing that's wrong with me
I usually don't stand up for myself but to her I did, I didn't care. She was so absolutely evil and such a narcissist, calling me the worst names I would clarify and correct her often Anyways, while at my mom's house I received a call from my daughters father in the middle of the night He said "you really fucked up this time" screaming you can tell he was in the car driving very fast I was terrified I repeatedly I called him and his mom I believed was coming to harm us and had no idea what he was talking about Turns out, he thinks I myself , or sent someone to his home, or the home we lived in previously to steal his guns, which I would never do I thought this is a just another way for them to continue harassing me even after I had left turns out investigators came to my house twice and I gave them the full story and even suggested his mom did it because I truly believe she did have part in that and wanted to try to get me in trouble anyway she could as is her motive Due to all the concerns I had I did file for primary not sole, but primary custody of my daughter with him having visitation Instead of responding to this one day when I dropped my daughter off on the two days a week, he would have her his mother and her attorney with held my daughter and wouldn't give her back until I signed what but feels like a blackmailing document just to get my daughter back in court this is referred to as under duress In this document, there were so many stipulations, but only to me he would get temporary split custody. Also, they listed my own family members in that could never be around my daughter, their own family. After a judge denied the order for emergency temporary custody they still refused to return her which is why I had to sign the document I hadn't been separated from my daughter, for maybe more than 36 hours in her life now at eight months old, she has been taken from me for more than a week. Signing that document was the hardest thing ever for me, but I couldn't stand to be a part for my daughter any longer His mom continued daily, if not more to make psychotic post about me, and my family post memes about me claiming I owed her money for a car that she bought for me 5 years prior And in five years no one had ever mentioned this car until she was angry. Made post about suing me for the car and I also responded Where are the documents? Where is the contract? I didn't sign anything. His family/mom has money, and she looks down very much and everyone else. In may the same year he was arrested for some very violent scary crimes. I won't go into detail too much, but assault with a deadly weapon with intent to kill along with many other charges, kind of sums it up over a random road rage incident with an individual he did not even know.
His bond was very low and he was out within hours still had the same job We went to court for this and what the judge determined is not what happened his attorney, much like every trial would call the judge afterwards and get him to change his mind or send him a document to sign even after signing previous documents likely because this judge didn't care to read through anything His mother continued to make my life a living hell I just wanted so badly to be out of this no more stress no more mental and emotional decay. She actually sent messages to someone one of them was 20,000 words long about me breaking into his car, putting trackers in his car, breaking into his brothers car, smashing his mailbox, paying people to go inside of his job and tell him he was going to kill him , trying to get someone to run him off the road and my favorite hiring someone who he was in the road rage incident with
Obviously this never occurred because if it did, they would have a party to and call the police to get me in trouble as once again this is mothers main goal
During this time, she also sent fake screenshots of text messages allegedly from me to my ex fiancé. They were very obviously fake not the way either of us would ever text/ incorrect contact names no timestamps we also both have iPhones. The messages are green, but she kept insisting the person reviewing the text to " show me show me " a.k.a. harassment my attorney advised me not to say anything they would have her deposed then ask why she's doing this get her to say it on camera, and that was the best way however, after filing for deposition, she actually tried to file for a protection order from ME and no one went through with anything.
I know I can't actually blame this on her, but whenever I was driving without my daughter in the car of my brain would not stop. All I did was rack my brain of what her calculated motive was for sending these text messages they terrified me I thought she was going to murder me, my daughter or son After leaving my third day of a new job and I wrecked my car so bad it was totaled and I am lucky to be alive this same morning I recall telling my friend that morning at work that there's something wrong with me I couldn't sleep I couldn't eat this woman was actually tearing me apart and I thought I was going to get in a car accident. She would text me this whole time pretending to be her son from her sons phone number just crazy long harassing messages when I was at work, she pulled a million stunts trying to make me look bad just would not stop at all costs when was determined to take my daughter for herself. It was very clear she ruined her first child and she wanted another try After filing for her to be deposed, she is now suing me for allegedly over $30,000 which I do not have for the car that she claims I owed money on as well as back rent, which I never agreed to I would pay contributions whenever I could because her son paid nothing for rent or other expenses however there was never an agreement. Recently, during mediation for her suing me, she pulled out false contracts with many errors wrong address, wrong dates for example this car was totaled on Christmas day of 2018. Due to someone rear ending me, the contracts she falsified have a date of January 2019 but why would I sign contracts for a car that was already totaled and no longer in existence she also for forged signatures so terribly it was actually insulting
My attorney could already tell that that was a forged contract because the signatures we're not mine and I stated I would not be paying her a dime as I would like her to get in trouble for fraud, falsifying, documents, and forgery. I'll actually look forward to court even though it's wasting me a whole lot of time and money Which is exactly what she wants.
The worst part of this is a few weeks prior my daughters father has been kind of friendly, which was odd. He wanted to go to movies, I thought, as friends, and was kind of happy to be over with the hateful drama, but he didn't want to just be friends, and I very stupidly, went along with us not realizing in my heart I still had feelings for him After this mediation, which he knew was going to happen, and I knew I was going to make it clear I did not sign anything he got mad and said after promising multiple times and trying to convince me we just need to make rebuild our family trust each other again nothing else matters I foolishly believed him until the day of mediation when he got mad that I did exactly what I said, I was going to do, and said we should try this again when all the court stuff is done, I have never felt so stupid and angry and betrayed in my life I sent him a long text detailing everything that happened the fact that I was reluctant and said no and I resisted he was and he promised this was best for everyone to do and for our daughter to have her parents together and I just wanted my daughter have the best life possible
After ignoring him for a few days, he said he's gonna come over to talk and once again, couldn't make it has he's done many times in the past and said we could do it another day because he had to go to another boys night/meeting with his coworkers, but he was actually going to be drinking and getting fucked up couldn't even take an hour to come talk and see our daughter Fast fwd to tonight and while he was with these friends, I was so infuriated and beyond done I said to him several text messages explaining how terrible he had been a human being, and how stupid I was to actually believe him how we have never had a future after this, and I didn't know I had in my life ever again Embarrassingly they are very, very long text and I like quadruple texted. Haven't heard a word from him I don't think I will and once again the most embarrassing I feel I still have feelings for him, which makes me so angry. I wish he just left me alone and never tried to start anything again I was fine until I agreed to start this all over again I am so devastated and so sad, I wish I had never met him The only thing I'm grateful for is our daughter but I feel badly. Just want these feelings to go away. I'm so upset I've been crying I just don't understand how he could tell me how sorry he was and how much he loved me and just staring and holding me for hours to now three weeks later, going right back up his mom's ass as he will clearly always side with her and never me
This is my first Reddit Post- admittedly, it's very scrambled and this might b more of I fucked up situation or am I an asshole for actually giving him another chance. Keep in mind we still have to go to court for permanent custody and other things. What should I do? I want so badly to ignore him and to not have any feelings for him again but he is the only person I have ever truly loved He now has quite an ego currently of having the upper hand, as I believe he just wanted see if I would take him back and I did and that's all the validation he needed.
submitted by SuperGrapefruit6563 to AITAH [link] [comments]
Was with my ex fiancé 25 male (I am 27 female) for almost 6 years. I gave birth to our beautiful daughter 2 years ago. I had many concerns about my ex fiancé since the first day when he called her a bitch in the hospital ( this is the day she was born) I remember feeling absolutely sick to my stomach. ( I will also add that he was not present for the birth of our daughter which I constantly feel guilty about; I had previously made jokes that I did not want him in the room I was not serious at the time but truthfully I already felt so violated I didn't want him seeing what i imagine was a horrific scene) I actually did kick him out of the delivery room but only because he was cussing at me and screaming at me about five minutes before I was about to push, this was the only time I ever cried during labor, and told him to please just leave.
He went to the waiting area and came back shortly after I had my daughter The first thing he said to me is how his mother and whole family said, I was crazy for not allowing him in the delivery room, note, his mom is extremely malicious, manipulative, psychotic narcissist, who demands control of everything if she doesn't get it, she loses her mind but we will get to that part later.
Fast forward to get home from the hospital and the first six months of my daughters life were hell only because of her father he would constantly threaten to break her legs or neck when she was crying. He rarely helped me. I stayed up every night all night when she was a reverse cycling . He constantly insulted me made me feel worthless. One day when we were having a fairly great day he randomly said to me no man would want to be with me because I had a child. He he wanted me to stay home, but as I wanted to contribute, I tried to go back to work a few months later. It was only about three days a week, this lasted for maybe a month his mom would come over during this period of time and his mom physically caught him one morning screaming "shut the fuck up bitch" at our then 3 month old baby.she texted me about it followed by delete this text. I was very naive since I actually deleted the text which i really regret as we are in a custody battle and this would have really helped me out. I know the most shameful part is I know I should've left much sooner I should've left the first time he her called her a bitch but I kept thinking if I continued to talk to him about it, he would get better but it only got worse Me and my daughter end up leaving for a few weeks after physical altercation with her father we stayed with my mom, but after a lot of convincing from her father. We were returned not long after. This did not last long as once again we left permanently about a month after this. From the beginning of us, not getting along and me leaving the first time his mother posted publicly to Facebook and tagged my parents in psychotic rambling post about how terrible a person I am she would send me actual novels number one through 20 of every single thing that's wrong with me
I usually don't stand up for myself but to her I did, I didn't care. She was so absolutely evil and such a narcissist, calling me the worst names I would clarify and correct her often Anyways, while at my mom's house I received a call from my daughters father in the middle of the night He said "you really fucked up this time" screaming you can tell he was in the car driving very fast I was terrified I repeatedly I called him and his mom I believed was coming to harm us and had no idea what he was talking about Turns out, he thinks I myself , or sent someone to his home, or the home we lived in previously to steal his guns, which I would never do I thought this is a just another way for them to continue harassing me even after I had left turns out investigators came to my house twice and I gave them the full story and even suggested his mom did it because I truly believe she did have part in that and wanted to try to get me in trouble anyway she could as is her motive Due to all the concerns I had I did file for primary not sole, but primary custody of my daughter with him having visitation Instead of responding to this one day when I dropped my daughter off on the two days a week, he would have her his mother and her attorney with held my daughter and wouldn't give her back until I signed what but feels like a blackmailing document just to get my daughter back in court this is referred to as under duress In this document, there were so many stipulations, but only to me he would get temporary split custody. Also, they listed my own family members in that could never be around my daughter, their own family. After a judge denied the order for emergency temporary custody they still refused to return her which is why I had to sign the document I hadn't been separated from my daughter, for maybe more than 36 hours in her life now at eight months old, she has been taken from me for more than a week. Signing that document was the hardest thing ever for me, but I couldn't stand to be a part for my daughter any longer His mom continued daily, if not more to make psychotic post about me, and my family post memes about me claiming I owed her money for a car that she bought for me 5 years prior And in five years no one had ever mentioned this car until she was angry. Made post about suing me for the car and I also responded Where are the documents? Where is the contract? I didn't sign anything. His family/mom has money, and she looks down very much and everyone else. In may the same year he was arrested for some very violent scary crimes. I won't go into detail too much, but assault with a deadly weapon with intent to kill along with many other charges, kind of sums it up over a random road rage incident with an individual he did not even know.
His bond was very low and he was out within hours still had the same job We went to court for this and what the judge determined is not what happened his attorney, much like every trial would call the judge afterwards and get him to change his mind or send him a document to sign even after signing previous documents likely because this judge didn't care to read through anything His mother continued to make my life a living hell I just wanted so badly to be out of this no more stress no more mental and emotional decay. She actually sent messages to someone one of them was 20,000 words long about me breaking into his car, putting trackers in his car, breaking into his brothers car, smashing his mailbox, paying people to go inside of his job and tell him he was going to kill him , trying to get someone to run him off the road and my favorite hiring someone who he was in the road rage incident with
Obviously this never occurred because if it did, they would have a party to and call the police to get me in trouble as once again this is mothers main goal
During this time, she also sent fake screenshots of text messages allegedly from me to my ex fiancé. They were very obviously fake not the way either of us would ever text/ incorrect contact names no timestamps we also both have iPhones. The messages are green, but she kept insisting the person reviewing the text to " show me show me " a.k.a. harassment my attorney advised me not to say anything they would have her deposed then ask why she's doing this get her to say it on camera, and that was the best way however, after filing for deposition, she actually tried to file for a protection order from ME and no one went through with anything.
I know I can't actually blame this on her, but whenever I was driving without my daughter in the car of my brain would not stop. All I did was rack my brain of what her calculated motive was for sending these text messages they terrified me I thought she was going to murder me, my daughter or son After leaving my third day of a new job and I wrecked my car so bad it was totaled and I am lucky to be alive this same morning I recall telling my friend that morning at work that there's something wrong with me I couldn't sleep I couldn't eat this woman was actually tearing me apart and I thought I was going to get in a car accident. She would text me this whole time pretending to be her son from her sons phone number just crazy long harassing messages when I was at work, she pulled a million stunts trying to make me look bad just would not stop at all costs when was determined to take my daughter for herself. It was very clear she ruined her first child and she wanted another try After filing for her to be deposed, she is now suing me for allegedly over $30,000 which I do not have for the car that she claims I owed money on as well as back rent, which I never agreed to I would pay contributions whenever I could because her son paid nothing for rent or other expenses however there was never an agreement. Recently, during mediation for her suing me, she pulled out false contracts with many errors wrong address, wrong dates for example this car was totaled on Christmas day of 2018. Due to someone rear ending me, the contracts she falsified have a date of January 2019 but why would I sign contracts for a car that was already totaled and no longer in existence she also for forged signatures so terribly it was actually insulting
My attorney could already tell that that was a forged contract because the signatures we're not mine and I stated I would not be paying her a dime as I would like her to get in trouble for fraud, falsifying, documents, and forgery. I'll actually look forward to court even though it's wasting me a whole lot of time and money Which is exactly what she wants.
The worst part of this is a few weeks prior my daughters father has been kind of friendly, which was odd. He wanted to go to movies, I thought, as friends, and was kind of happy to be over with the hateful drama, but he didn't want to just be friends, and I very stupidly, went along with us not realizing in my heart I still had feelings for him After this mediation, which he knew was going to happen, and I knew I was going to make it clear I did not sign anything he got mad and said after promising multiple times and trying to convince me we just need to make rebuild our family trust each other again nothing else matters I foolishly believed him until the day of mediation when he got mad that I did exactly what I said, I was going to do, and said we should try this again when all the court stuff is done, I have never felt so stupid and angry and betrayed in my life I sent him a long text detailing everything that happened the fact that I was reluctant and said no and I resisted he was and he promised this was best for everyone to do and for our daughter to have her parents together and I just wanted my daughter have the best life possible
After ignoring him for a few days, he said he's gonna come over to talk and once again, couldn't make it has he's done many times in the past and said we could do it another day because he had to go to another boys night/meeting with his coworkers, but he was actually going to be drinking and getting fucked up couldn't even take an hour to come talk and see our daughter Fast fwd to tonight and while he was with these friends, I was so infuriated and beyond done I said to him several text messages explaining how terrible he had been a human being, and how stupid I was to actually believe him how we have never had a future after this, and I didn't know I had in my life ever again Embarrassingly they are very, very long text and I like quadruple texted. Haven't heard a word from him I don't think I will and once again the most embarrassing I feel I still have feelings for him, which makes me so angry. I wish he just left me alone and never tried to start anything again I was fine until I agreed to start this all over again I am so devastated and so sad, I wish I had never met him The only thing I'm grateful for is our daughter but I feel badly. Just want these feelings to go away. I'm so upset I've been crying I just don't understand how he could tell me how sorry he was and how much he loved me and just staring and holding me for hours to now three weeks later, going right back up his mom's ass as he will clearly always side with her and never me
This is my first Reddit Post- admittedly, it's very scrambled and this might b more of I fucked up situation or am I an asshole for actually giving him another chance. Keep in mind we still have to go to court for permanent custody and other things. What should I do? I want so badly to ignore him and to not have any feelings for him again but he is the only person I have ever truly loved He now has quite an ego currently of having the upper hand, as I believe he just wanted see if I would take him back and I did and that's all the validation he needed.
2024.05.17 07:29 sour_moth Goodbye starseeds, I don't like it here anymore
I will be real with every one here and people are not gonna like what I say, but I need to get it off my chest.
I can't take this place any more. There's so much fakeness. I find myself getting annoyed, irritated, and eyerolling nonstop when I see starseed sub in my reddit feed every day.
There are VERY few posters who are actually discussing the topic of starseeds and how it could be possible.
But the vast majority of people, I think you guys are just regular people who wants the starseed idea to be real so badly that you offer forth any negative symptom or feeling you have and go "see? I'm special! I'm definitely a starseed this is proof!"
Here's some topics just from the past 2 weeks. Look at how detrimental and negative being a starseed makes you, like it's genuinely bad for your health:
Topic - restless sleep
Topic - demonic dreams
Topic - panic attacks, mystery illness, difficulty eating, thirst
Topic - fighting with friends
Topic - anxiety
Topic - headache and migraines
Topic - hormonal issues
Topic - nightmares, emotional turmoil, haunting(?)
Topic - feeling off
Topic - meat now makes them sick, vertigo
Topic - phone not working properly
Topic - people fighting over them, seizures
Topic - nightmares
Topic - extremely drained
Topic - severe headaches
Topic - can't fully dream anymore
Topic - depression
Topic - feeling disconnected from others
Topic - anxious and scared
Topic - life feeling pointless and worthless
Topic - forced vegan, PTSD symptoms
Topic - exhausted
I made the joke before about people around here making a topic going "guys I woke up and my eyes were slightly blurry for a few minutes, what does this mean??!!" and people in comments will be going "Hmm maybe you're a Nordic starseed yess that must be it!"
I know people will say "ASCENSION SYMPTOMS!/BUT THE SOLAR FLARE DID IT!!".
That's justification for your desire to dump your mental/physical issues onto every one as if going "see guys we all have these same bad symptoms, we must all be starseeds \o/ we are ascending, the solar flare changed us and made us all sick and plagued by nightmares and depression for some reason!"
It's just a weird twisted form of victimhood addiction and desire to fit in with a group that can only occur in the 21st century.
These kind of topics have been here for a LONG time, not just the past week around solar flare, but since the beginning. I know because I've been here for a long time on other accounts too.
I did not include some topics that are more serious like suicidal and abuse ones, I don't want to lump those into the others as if they're on the same level, they're not (and if one of them is included in the links above I'm sorry and might have missed it)
I just can't get past the fake positivity/overwhelmingly sappy nonsense hope messages either. You know the ones:
"YOU ARE LOVED! ALL IS ONE. THE SOURCE WITHIN IS THE SOURCE OUTSIDE. FEEL THE PRIMORDIAL COSMIC PEACE. ONE LOVE. ONE LOVE. ONE. BLESSED. AMON RA. NAMASTE (followed by 400 emojis)"
It's just kinda pointless word salad. If these kind of topics somehow help you, great. But it's actively turning the reddit feed into looking like a facebook post from that one weird aunt of yours and nobody says anything meaningful back because there's nothing to say, it's a nothing burger and spammed so constantly that it spoils any actual true positivity that might've been hidden inside
What gets on my nerves most of all though is the scifi fanfiction posts. You guys KNOW what I'm talking about. Typical example:
"URGENT MESSAGE FROM THE FEDERATION OF THE LIGHT: The council of high Andromedan Chancellors have declared WAR on the forces of the dark reptilian Squadron 591 which is currently set up at an interdimensional base camp in the 14th dimension of shadow, but TOMORROW the Arcturian Galactic Resistance will be arriving in their lightships outside of Neptune's orbit in order to ELIMINATE the nano demons sent by the reptilian squadron.
ASCENSION into the next plane of light is imminent. My invisible seraphim goat guardian who is also the Egyptian God Anubis beside me told me to pass on this message. If you don't believe me then you are simply in a lower vibrational matrix prison, obviously, and have no idea about the actual truth of reality!!"
And then if anyone dares to say anything negative or disbelieving, you will get banned. Kinda ridiculous how harshly mods enforce the rule about debunking but totally ignore the rule about stating things as absolute truth and fact when it's starseed-related
I know this topic isn't necessary, yeah yeah Its not an airport I don't need to announce my departure (for that one person who still uses that joke after 13 years, I said it for you!)
For the record, I'm not some agent of darkness or negative force trying to disrupt your vibration or awakening, I'm just a dude who likes space and came across this sub a while back randomly
I just wanted to vent and say goodbye. I'm becoming more scientifically and naturalistically-oriented every day. Now I call myself an earth child and feel love and connection to my planet, and farther from these ideas of starseed reincarnation/spirit bodies/energies/etc
So it's is just mentally exhausting and frustrating to keep pretending like I fit in here (I don't)
For the sake of myself and others I will leave and wish every one the best, I hope all of y'alls health issues get resolved, truly, and you live your best starseed lives
TO MODS: I hope you have the courage to leave this topic up for a bit before banning it/me,
so people can actually read an opinion that disagrees with their own instead of the constant self-reinforcement loop echo chamber around here
submitted by sour_moth to starseeds [link] [comments]
I can't take this place any more. There's so much fakeness. I find myself getting annoyed, irritated, and eyerolling nonstop when I see starseed sub in my reddit feed every day.
There are VERY few posters who are actually discussing the topic of starseeds and how it could be possible.
But the vast majority of people, I think you guys are just regular people who wants the starseed idea to be real so badly that you offer forth any negative symptom or feeling you have and go "see? I'm special! I'm definitely a starseed this is proof!"
Here's some topics just from the past 2 weeks. Look at how detrimental and negative being a starseed makes you, like it's genuinely bad for your health:
Topic - restless sleep
Topic - demonic dreams
Topic - panic attacks, mystery illness, difficulty eating, thirst
Topic - fighting with friends
Topic - anxiety
Topic - headache and migraines
Topic - hormonal issues
Topic - nightmares, emotional turmoil, haunting(?)
Topic - feeling off
Topic - meat now makes them sick, vertigo
Topic - phone not working properly
Topic - people fighting over them, seizures
Topic - nightmares
Topic - extremely drained
Topic - severe headaches
Topic - can't fully dream anymore
Topic - depression
Topic - feeling disconnected from others
Topic - anxious and scared
Topic - life feeling pointless and worthless
Topic - forced vegan, PTSD symptoms
Topic - exhausted
I made the joke before about people around here making a topic going "guys I woke up and my eyes were slightly blurry for a few minutes, what does this mean??!!" and people in comments will be going "Hmm maybe you're a Nordic starseed yess that must be it!"
I know people will say "ASCENSION SYMPTOMS!/BUT THE SOLAR FLARE DID IT!!".
That's justification for your desire to dump your mental/physical issues onto every one as if going "see guys we all have these same bad symptoms, we must all be starseeds \o/ we are ascending, the solar flare changed us and made us all sick and plagued by nightmares and depression for some reason!"
It's just a weird twisted form of victimhood addiction and desire to fit in with a group that can only occur in the 21st century.
These kind of topics have been here for a LONG time, not just the past week around solar flare, but since the beginning. I know because I've been here for a long time on other accounts too.
I did not include some topics that are more serious like suicidal and abuse ones, I don't want to lump those into the others as if they're on the same level, they're not (and if one of them is included in the links above I'm sorry and might have missed it)
I just can't get past the fake positivity/overwhelmingly sappy nonsense hope messages either. You know the ones:
"YOU ARE LOVED! ALL IS ONE. THE SOURCE WITHIN IS THE SOURCE OUTSIDE. FEEL THE PRIMORDIAL COSMIC PEACE. ONE LOVE. ONE LOVE. ONE. BLESSED. AMON RA. NAMASTE (followed by 400 emojis)"
It's just kinda pointless word salad. If these kind of topics somehow help you, great. But it's actively turning the reddit feed into looking like a facebook post from that one weird aunt of yours and nobody says anything meaningful back because there's nothing to say, it's a nothing burger and spammed so constantly that it spoils any actual true positivity that might've been hidden inside
What gets on my nerves most of all though is the scifi fanfiction posts. You guys KNOW what I'm talking about. Typical example:
"URGENT MESSAGE FROM THE FEDERATION OF THE LIGHT: The council of high Andromedan Chancellors have declared WAR on the forces of the dark reptilian Squadron 591 which is currently set up at an interdimensional base camp in the 14th dimension of shadow, but TOMORROW the Arcturian Galactic Resistance will be arriving in their lightships outside of Neptune's orbit in order to ELIMINATE the nano demons sent by the reptilian squadron.
ASCENSION into the next plane of light is imminent. My invisible seraphim goat guardian who is also the Egyptian God Anubis beside me told me to pass on this message. If you don't believe me then you are simply in a lower vibrational matrix prison, obviously, and have no idea about the actual truth of reality!!"
And then if anyone dares to say anything negative or disbelieving, you will get banned. Kinda ridiculous how harshly mods enforce the rule about debunking but totally ignore the rule about stating things as absolute truth and fact when it's starseed-related
I know this topic isn't necessary, yeah yeah Its not an airport I don't need to announce my departure (for that one person who still uses that joke after 13 years, I said it for you!)
For the record, I'm not some agent of darkness or negative force trying to disrupt your vibration or awakening, I'm just a dude who likes space and came across this sub a while back randomly
I just wanted to vent and say goodbye. I'm becoming more scientifically and naturalistically-oriented every day. Now I call myself an earth child and feel love and connection to my planet, and farther from these ideas of starseed reincarnation/spirit bodies/energies/etc
So it's is just mentally exhausting and frustrating to keep pretending like I fit in here (I don't)
For the sake of myself and others I will leave and wish every one the best, I hope all of y'alls health issues get resolved, truly, and you live your best starseed lives
TO MODS: I hope you have the courage to leave this topic up for a bit before banning it/me,
so people can actually read an opinion that disagrees with their own instead of the constant self-reinforcement loop echo chamber around here
2024.05.17 06:17 dump_names1163 I was falsely accused of raping a 13 yr old and it destroyed my life
I really just wanted to get this story off my chest. I sought out help with some issues before on another account and but ended up deleting it because some people decided that they were green lit to brigade me with rather unpleasant messages. Sometimes I feel truly alone now.
I guess a bit of back story to start out.
I lived in a decent rental property out in a rural area in the SE U.S. I am a male, mid-30s at the time, divorced, decent job and all around not a bad life all things considered. I had family nearby and friends who seemed to care, and there was a woman in my life that seemed like we were a pretty good match for each other. This was back in 2019 right before the big covid epidemic really ramped up.
I had no idea it was all about to end.
At 3am on a thursday night, I was awoken to a loud knock on my door. I put on some slippers and looked out the peephole. There was a police officer standing there. I hadn't done anything illegal and had no reason to fear a police run in. My first thought was that something was wrong with someone in my family. I opened the door and he asked my name. I confirmed and he grabbed hold of me and yanked me out. More officers from around the corner pinned me to the wall and cuffed me. I asked what was happening and received a punch to the head for my troubles.
I was rather stunned and horribly confused. They drug me out to where they had parked, just out of the line of sight for me to see from my door. I was tossed into the car and eventually one of them got in and finally answered my question of what was going on.
I had been charged with rape and child molestation. He didn't tell me who charged me or when, just that there was a warrant out for my arrest.
I was hauled into the county jail at that point. I had never been arrested in my life and I was terrified. I didn't have my phone and couldn't remember anyone's contact information at the time. I was processed, given my mugshot, and put in a small holding cell.
Some time later I got my first appearance and was told my charges, no bail, I was warned not to talk to the judge or I'd regret it. Just answer his questions and sit down when told,
Then they moved me to a very small padded room. There were 4 or 5 police officers I think that moved me. It's a bit hard to remember this part in detail, but I remember enough. They handed me this small cloth vest and told me to strip naked. I had no idea what they were doing and I got really scared. I didn't get asked again. They held me down, ripped my clothes off, and beat the hell out of me right there. They shoved my face against a vent in the floor that served as the toilet. One of them remarked that was where a piece of shit like me belonged and they laughed. They spit on me and left, leaving that small vest laying next to me on the cold rubber floor.
For four weeks, I curled up under that vest in the corner of the room. It was so cold and I didn't dare let that spot cool down. The pain was terrible and the nurses that had to check on me didn't care what I'd went though. I didn't have back problems before that, but now I do. Some days I wake up now and can hardly walk.
I was finally moved to general population. I figured things were finally getting better. I was sure that whatever had started happening would finally be over. I got a message from my family and was able to contact them. I reassured them I had no idea what was happening or who had filed charges or anything. I was as confused as everyone else would be.
I tried telling my mom about the abuse. An officer came back there, told me point blank that if I didn't want to get it again and worse next time, I'd better shut my mouth. It was a threat I'd rather not test out. I kept my mouth shut at that point. I learned that all calls and mail was monitored by the jail.
I asked my mom to get in touch with the woman I'd been seeing to explain things. She's already messaged my mom and told her that she wanted nothing to do with me. I guess all things considered I ended up better off, but it hurt at the time.
A few weeks later, a public attorney had been appointed and came to see me. I was finally about to find out who was behind all this. I figured this was some sort of great big misunderstanding and I'd be home soon.
It was the neighbors daughter. Someone I barely knew and only spoke to in passing. I never touched this girl and I didn't want to either. She had told her parents that I had forced open her window and raped her in the early morning hours and threatened to kill her if she told anyone.
I was 6'1 and 230lbs of pudding. I am not stealthy. There was no way I could quietly force open a trailer window and have my way with someone and keep it quiet. regardless though, that's what she claimed to her parents, and then to the police.
Why would that poor precious child lie? Very good question and I never found out the full story. I can speculate a few things on it. They did collect DNA evidence though and it had been sent off for testing.
Something to keep in mind. If you ever been in county lockup for any length of time, you know that nearly everyone claims innocence, and they don't believe other people are. I was locked into a dorm room with actual convicted child sexual predators and actual rapists. Some of whom were violent and had nothing to lose.
It wasn't pleasant and it wasn't fun. I was attacked on occasion simply for my charges.
And remember I said this was pre-covid? Yeah. They shut down the court system. They wouldn't be hearing my case for quite some time and the judge was a real hard ass that refused to set my bond. I spent the next 3 years in county lockup charged with a crime I did not commit.
3 years of my life gone.
I ended up firing my public defender and hiring a real defense attorney. the P.D. told me "things look pretty grim. If you just plea out, you can be home in about 10 years." Hell no. I borrowed the money from my family and got a real attorney. After he reviewed the case he was pretty positive I'd go home, and for a few good reasons.
Let's go to trial.
It finally happened. I got a trial date and I was ready to go. They came at me with another plea deal. The prosecutor said that I had wasted the states valuable time and they offered me 25 yrs in prison or I could lose and never see freedom. I told him to go pound sand.
At the trial, the alleged victim could not keep her story straight. She constantly backtracked and fudged the details of things like "What was he wearing?" or "Things he had said to you before." She also claimed to be a virgin and I took that from her.
I mentioned some time ago that they collected DNA. It was male, but it wasn't mine. Apparently the prosecution sat on those results until it was nearly time for trial. They knew I was innocent and let me sit in jail to entertain their plea deals.
I don't know what really happened that night, I suspect that she had sex with some guy she was seeing, They may have got into a fight and she cried rape, and then changed her mind after she'd started. She needed a rapist though and she just randomly chose a guy nearby that she didn't care anything about. Maybe she got in too deep and knew that if she backtracked she'd be in trouble.
I went home that day, found not guilty of all charges. I was thankful to be back with my family. Many of my so called friends abandoned me though. A few stuck around and those are the good ones.
My facebook arrest post had my full name and address and plenty of people wished for my death. "I'd be glad to put a bullet in him if they'd just let me" or "I know that guy. I knew there was something wrong with him the moment I met him."
I lost my home and a few things had been stolen before my family could secure it. Nothing irreplaceable I guess, but it still feels bad to of lost a few things I cared about.
In addition to severe back pain, the mental damage I got from this has been crippling. No matter how much I try, I just can't seem to get my life together. I am absolutely terrified of women as I know what just a few errant words can do. I don't think I could ever form another meaningful relationship because of those fears. I'm scared of the police as well. I fear they'll come after me again just like they did that night. They could kill me and get away with it these days.
Mostly I stay inside my moms house. Some days I'm ok. Others, I'm just so scared to go out. This isn't really a good life anymore. Counseling is somewhat helping at least.
There's no lawsuit that can be filed. The state doesn't have to answer for anything because they followed the letter of the law and the pandemic gave them emergency powers to do certain things. There's no lawsuit against the girl either as she never said it was made up. There's laws to protect her.
My life was ruined despite all charges being dropped. I honestly am not sure I can recover from this nightmare. There's plenty of details I left out, but I've talked enough as it is. I'm tired now. I expect people to call me a rapist or chomo anyways, innocent or not. For some, an accusation is enough proof for them.
submitted by dump_names1163 to TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]
I guess a bit of back story to start out.
I lived in a decent rental property out in a rural area in the SE U.S. I am a male, mid-30s at the time, divorced, decent job and all around not a bad life all things considered. I had family nearby and friends who seemed to care, and there was a woman in my life that seemed like we were a pretty good match for each other. This was back in 2019 right before the big covid epidemic really ramped up.
I had no idea it was all about to end.
At 3am on a thursday night, I was awoken to a loud knock on my door. I put on some slippers and looked out the peephole. There was a police officer standing there. I hadn't done anything illegal and had no reason to fear a police run in. My first thought was that something was wrong with someone in my family. I opened the door and he asked my name. I confirmed and he grabbed hold of me and yanked me out. More officers from around the corner pinned me to the wall and cuffed me. I asked what was happening and received a punch to the head for my troubles.
I was rather stunned and horribly confused. They drug me out to where they had parked, just out of the line of sight for me to see from my door. I was tossed into the car and eventually one of them got in and finally answered my question of what was going on.
I had been charged with rape and child molestation. He didn't tell me who charged me or when, just that there was a warrant out for my arrest.
I was hauled into the county jail at that point. I had never been arrested in my life and I was terrified. I didn't have my phone and couldn't remember anyone's contact information at the time. I was processed, given my mugshot, and put in a small holding cell.
Some time later I got my first appearance and was told my charges, no bail, I was warned not to talk to the judge or I'd regret it. Just answer his questions and sit down when told,
Then they moved me to a very small padded room. There were 4 or 5 police officers I think that moved me. It's a bit hard to remember this part in detail, but I remember enough. They handed me this small cloth vest and told me to strip naked. I had no idea what they were doing and I got really scared. I didn't get asked again. They held me down, ripped my clothes off, and beat the hell out of me right there. They shoved my face against a vent in the floor that served as the toilet. One of them remarked that was where a piece of shit like me belonged and they laughed. They spit on me and left, leaving that small vest laying next to me on the cold rubber floor.
For four weeks, I curled up under that vest in the corner of the room. It was so cold and I didn't dare let that spot cool down. The pain was terrible and the nurses that had to check on me didn't care what I'd went though. I didn't have back problems before that, but now I do. Some days I wake up now and can hardly walk.
I was finally moved to general population. I figured things were finally getting better. I was sure that whatever had started happening would finally be over. I got a message from my family and was able to contact them. I reassured them I had no idea what was happening or who had filed charges or anything. I was as confused as everyone else would be.
I tried telling my mom about the abuse. An officer came back there, told me point blank that if I didn't want to get it again and worse next time, I'd better shut my mouth. It was a threat I'd rather not test out. I kept my mouth shut at that point. I learned that all calls and mail was monitored by the jail.
I asked my mom to get in touch with the woman I'd been seeing to explain things. She's already messaged my mom and told her that she wanted nothing to do with me. I guess all things considered I ended up better off, but it hurt at the time.
A few weeks later, a public attorney had been appointed and came to see me. I was finally about to find out who was behind all this. I figured this was some sort of great big misunderstanding and I'd be home soon.
It was the neighbors daughter. Someone I barely knew and only spoke to in passing. I never touched this girl and I didn't want to either. She had told her parents that I had forced open her window and raped her in the early morning hours and threatened to kill her if she told anyone.
I was 6'1 and 230lbs of pudding. I am not stealthy. There was no way I could quietly force open a trailer window and have my way with someone and keep it quiet. regardless though, that's what she claimed to her parents, and then to the police.
Why would that poor precious child lie? Very good question and I never found out the full story. I can speculate a few things on it. They did collect DNA evidence though and it had been sent off for testing.
Something to keep in mind. If you ever been in county lockup for any length of time, you know that nearly everyone claims innocence, and they don't believe other people are. I was locked into a dorm room with actual convicted child sexual predators and actual rapists. Some of whom were violent and had nothing to lose.
It wasn't pleasant and it wasn't fun. I was attacked on occasion simply for my charges.
And remember I said this was pre-covid? Yeah. They shut down the court system. They wouldn't be hearing my case for quite some time and the judge was a real hard ass that refused to set my bond. I spent the next 3 years in county lockup charged with a crime I did not commit.
3 years of my life gone.
I ended up firing my public defender and hiring a real defense attorney. the P.D. told me "things look pretty grim. If you just plea out, you can be home in about 10 years." Hell no. I borrowed the money from my family and got a real attorney. After he reviewed the case he was pretty positive I'd go home, and for a few good reasons.
Let's go to trial.
It finally happened. I got a trial date and I was ready to go. They came at me with another plea deal. The prosecutor said that I had wasted the states valuable time and they offered me 25 yrs in prison or I could lose and never see freedom. I told him to go pound sand.
At the trial, the alleged victim could not keep her story straight. She constantly backtracked and fudged the details of things like "What was he wearing?" or "Things he had said to you before." She also claimed to be a virgin and I took that from her.
I mentioned some time ago that they collected DNA. It was male, but it wasn't mine. Apparently the prosecution sat on those results until it was nearly time for trial. They knew I was innocent and let me sit in jail to entertain their plea deals.
I don't know what really happened that night, I suspect that she had sex with some guy she was seeing, They may have got into a fight and she cried rape, and then changed her mind after she'd started. She needed a rapist though and she just randomly chose a guy nearby that she didn't care anything about. Maybe she got in too deep and knew that if she backtracked she'd be in trouble.
I went home that day, found not guilty of all charges. I was thankful to be back with my family. Many of my so called friends abandoned me though. A few stuck around and those are the good ones.
My facebook arrest post had my full name and address and plenty of people wished for my death. "I'd be glad to put a bullet in him if they'd just let me" or "I know that guy. I knew there was something wrong with him the moment I met him."
I lost my home and a few things had been stolen before my family could secure it. Nothing irreplaceable I guess, but it still feels bad to of lost a few things I cared about.
In addition to severe back pain, the mental damage I got from this has been crippling. No matter how much I try, I just can't seem to get my life together. I am absolutely terrified of women as I know what just a few errant words can do. I don't think I could ever form another meaningful relationship because of those fears. I'm scared of the police as well. I fear they'll come after me again just like they did that night. They could kill me and get away with it these days.
Mostly I stay inside my moms house. Some days I'm ok. Others, I'm just so scared to go out. This isn't really a good life anymore. Counseling is somewhat helping at least.
There's no lawsuit that can be filed. The state doesn't have to answer for anything because they followed the letter of the law and the pandemic gave them emergency powers to do certain things. There's no lawsuit against the girl either as she never said it was made up. There's laws to protect her.
My life was ruined despite all charges being dropped. I honestly am not sure I can recover from this nightmare. There's plenty of details I left out, but I've talked enough as it is. I'm tired now. I expect people to call me a rapist or chomo anyways, innocent or not. For some, an accusation is enough proof for them.
2024.05.17 04:30 False_Code She said she wanted space then hopped into another relationship
Since highschool this girl and I had been the best of friends. There was nothing we didn't tell eachother, absolutly nothing (and I mean nothing, we shared everything from bowel movements to our deepest feelings) We were best friends for almost 10 years. In highschool I almost asked her out but kind of backed out and never wound up doing so. Her and I had made a marriage pact when we were 15, if we were both single at 30 we would get married and move in together. Fast forward 9 years, I'm 24 and she's 23 and she asks me to come over to play cod zombies (we would play cod zombies togethor all the time just never with eachother at the same place). I kind of had an idea of what was going to happen but part of me thought it was just wishful thinking. Exactly what I thought was going to happen happened, she lead me in the bedroom etc. We started dating for the next few months and things couldn't of been better. I have never had as much fun as I did during these months and I mean absolutly never have I ever had this much fun.... she also genuinely seemed to be having the time of her life. I mean late night cruises with the top dowm screaming lyrics at the top of our lungs, hanging out on the beach at 2am, cooking meals for eachother, visiting eachother at work. We were talking about what our kids would look like and how beautiful they'd be. Talking about spending the rest of our lives together which had been my dream for the longest time. Every woman I dated since meeting her was me settling and then it finally happened and her and I were together. I will admit I did let my issues interfere with the relationship a bit but she did as well and I was okay with it because I was there for the long haul and fixing things together. After an argument she asked for a break which yes I have heard before and it wasn't a break last time I had heard it but I trusted this woman with every ounce of my being so I beleived her entirely. She said "I think we need to work on ourselves for a bit, I can't love you properly if I don't love myself. I need to work on myself before I can give you what you want. I still love you so much and plan to try again but I need some space" I gave her space for about a week and called her to see how she was doing and when she answered it she sounded like she was drunk at a bar and she said it wasn't a good time. The uncertainty of it being a break or a break up was wreaking havoc on me mentally and I had to ask her which one it was so I did. I asked is this a break or a break up and she said "ITS A BREAK UP, then a guy in the background proceeded to contribute the comment "how haven't you gotten that yet man" I asked who that was and she said a friend.. I sat in silence for a few seconds then hung up. 2 weeks later she updated her facebook relationship status to in relationship with john doe... how can someone be apart of someone's life for so long a big part of someone's life and then just toss it away like that... best friends for almost a decade and then she just ends it like that... I didn't just lose the love of my life, I lost my best friend. I have nobody else to tell this to because she was the one I'd tell... part of me thinks either the whole relationship she was manic or she became manic towards the end and that's why she ended things. I don't know how someone could do such a thing, this whole situation has made me lose all trust in everyone. How can I trust anyone if the person who I thought was my best friend could do me dirty like that?
submitted by False_Code to BreakUps [link] [comments]
2024.05.17 04:22 blitzedblonde No contact?
This is long, so thank you if you make it to the end.
My mom is an alcoholic. She spent the better part of my childhood functioning through the day and then passing out drunk each night. My parents divorced, and dad got custody of the 4 of us. My mom remarried a younger man she had been having an affair with. At 14 I moved in with my mom to get away from my dad’s rules. A couple years later my mom is teaching at the high school that I go to. She proceeds to have an affair with a student. There isn’t enough evidence to convict her yet, and my step dad is filing divorce. I’m a teen mom at this point (17 with a 1 year old) and my mom has informed me that the house they put on the market the day prior has sold, and she is moving to China for a year.
My child and I move out on our own, I’m working 2 jobs, going to school, etc. my dad helps to watch her while I’m taking night classes. My mom comes back from China and somehow hooks up with my ex boyfriend through tinder. He was an asshole that liked to stir the pot, so you bet he was thrilled to tell me he slept with my mom (he was 19 at this time..so just barely legal).
Keep in mind that it isn’t public knowledge that there’s an open investigation about her relationship with the high school student. Her Facebook profile shows that she is a loving mother of 4, has been teaching English to students in China, blah blah blah. I tell her I want to go no contact after she slept with my ex and she FREAKS out and starts sobbing and apologizing, and I’m pretty sure it’s only because she doesn’t want to have to explain to her FB friends why her kids won’t talk to her. I agree to continue the relationship but only for the sake of my grandparents.
It’s been 8 years since all of that. I’m happily married. My daughter is 13 and I have a 6 month old son. Over the years my mom has gotten a little sloppy at most of the family gatherings, but everyone just sort of lets it slide since she doesn’t do anything crazy. On Mother’s Day we went over to her house and she was wasted when we walked in at 11am. She oscillated between sobbing or being angry about really small things. It turns out she and her newest husband (also younger) had gotten in a huge fight the night before and he mentioned getting divorced. She kept trying to hold my baby when she could barely stand. We left an hour after we got there.
She texted me the next day and thanked me for the flowers I brought, and talked about what a great day it was…. I texted her back and basically called her out for everything she had done. She responded with how I expect her to be 100% perfect and i have no idea how stressful things have been. I told her that isn’t an excuse for her behavior and she needs to get a grip or join a recovery program. She then threatenedsuicide (she’s threatened this my whole life whenever her drunken mistakes catch up to her). I texted her sister and husband, but told her she is a grown woman and her mental health is her responsibility. After 20 more texts full of excuses she finally said she’d found a recovery program.
She’s done all kinds of rehabs, detox programs, inpatient programs etc. I don’t have any faith that this is when she’ll get sober. Anyway, is it time to go no contact? If so, how do you move past the guilt of no contact? Edited to add that if I go no contact, so will my siblings. She’s already lonely and miserable, but for whatever reason I still feel sad knowing she’ll be even more lonely and miserable.
submitted by blitzedblonde to JUSTNOMIL [link] [comments]
My mom is an alcoholic. She spent the better part of my childhood functioning through the day and then passing out drunk each night. My parents divorced, and dad got custody of the 4 of us. My mom remarried a younger man she had been having an affair with. At 14 I moved in with my mom to get away from my dad’s rules. A couple years later my mom is teaching at the high school that I go to. She proceeds to have an affair with a student. There isn’t enough evidence to convict her yet, and my step dad is filing divorce. I’m a teen mom at this point (17 with a 1 year old) and my mom has informed me that the house they put on the market the day prior has sold, and she is moving to China for a year.
My child and I move out on our own, I’m working 2 jobs, going to school, etc. my dad helps to watch her while I’m taking night classes. My mom comes back from China and somehow hooks up with my ex boyfriend through tinder. He was an asshole that liked to stir the pot, so you bet he was thrilled to tell me he slept with my mom (he was 19 at this time..so just barely legal).
Keep in mind that it isn’t public knowledge that there’s an open investigation about her relationship with the high school student. Her Facebook profile shows that she is a loving mother of 4, has been teaching English to students in China, blah blah blah. I tell her I want to go no contact after she slept with my ex and she FREAKS out and starts sobbing and apologizing, and I’m pretty sure it’s only because she doesn’t want to have to explain to her FB friends why her kids won’t talk to her. I agree to continue the relationship but only for the sake of my grandparents.
It’s been 8 years since all of that. I’m happily married. My daughter is 13 and I have a 6 month old son. Over the years my mom has gotten a little sloppy at most of the family gatherings, but everyone just sort of lets it slide since she doesn’t do anything crazy. On Mother’s Day we went over to her house and she was wasted when we walked in at 11am. She oscillated between sobbing or being angry about really small things. It turns out she and her newest husband (also younger) had gotten in a huge fight the night before and he mentioned getting divorced. She kept trying to hold my baby when she could barely stand. We left an hour after we got there.
She texted me the next day and thanked me for the flowers I brought, and talked about what a great day it was…. I texted her back and basically called her out for everything she had done. She responded with how I expect her to be 100% perfect and i have no idea how stressful things have been. I told her that isn’t an excuse for her behavior and she needs to get a grip or join a recovery program. She then threatenedsuicide (she’s threatened this my whole life whenever her drunken mistakes catch up to her). I texted her sister and husband, but told her she is a grown woman and her mental health is her responsibility. After 20 more texts full of excuses she finally said she’d found a recovery program.
She’s done all kinds of rehabs, detox programs, inpatient programs etc. I don’t have any faith that this is when she’ll get sober. Anyway, is it time to go no contact? If so, how do you move past the guilt of no contact? Edited to add that if I go no contact, so will my siblings. She’s already lonely and miserable, but for whatever reason I still feel sad knowing she’ll be even more lonely and miserable.
2024.05.17 04:16 nekoneight AITAH for jeopardizing my marriage because my wife was hypocritical 15 years ago?
This will probably be a long post because it is all about the context. Also, you should know that English is not my first language, so please bear with me.
I (35M) met my wife (39F) at college when I was 20 and she was 24. We were friends for a year before we started dating. After two years of dating we moved in together, married 5 years after that. We have three children together (8, 5, and 3), and up until recently, our relationship was very stable, and I was 100% sure this is the woman of my life.
Before I met my current wife, I had one and only girlfriend for about two years. She was my first for everything, and it was a nice relationship overall, but as we matured, we grew apart and eventually ended the relationship amicably.
Shortly after I started dating my current wife, the topic of ex-partners naturally came up. I was honest and told her about my one ex-girlfriend. She did not ask me about any details except whether it is all resolved, to which I said a resounding yes. When I asked the same question, she sort of laughed and said that she never had a boyfriend. I found that hard to believe since she was a few years older than me, very attractive, and did not seem inexperienced at all. I asked her whether she is being serious, and she said yes. That was the end of that discussion. I would not care one way or another.
A few months after we started dating, we went to a concert together. We were sort of having fun when suddenly my girlfriend (now wife) said that she wants to leave. I asked her what is wrong, she said nothing. I asked her whether I can go with her, she said “No” and left very suddenly. As I was trying to catch her, I bumped into my ex-girlfriend, who I had no idea was there (at that point, I lived in a different town, so there was no reason to expect my ex would be there). At that point, I realized that my ex-girlfriend being present, and my current girlfriend behaving strangely might somehow be related. I found that a little weird since the two were never introduced and didn’t know each other, so I had no idea how my new girlfriend would know what my ex looked like. Anyways, I went home to get some sleep.
The next morning, my girlfriend calmed down a little, and she told me that she probably overreacted but was still disappointed with how I handled the situation and that she deserved to be informed that my ex was there. I 100% agreed with her but explained that I had no idea that my ex was there and that she must have noticed her first. That calmed her down, and she forgave me. When I asked her about how come she knows what my ex looks like, she confessed that she was digging through my social media early in the relationship (this was the early days of Facebook). I found this whole thing a little absurd, but in the light of all other positive things, it didn’t seem like anything to care about.
So fast forward 15 beautiful years later, we are now adults and have a pretty nice relationship. Taking care of the kids and two careers is pretty taxing, but we are managing. We still share common interests and love spending time with the kids and with each other. The only point of friction is that I feel like we started taking our relationship for granted and don’t date anymore. Intimacy also went down drastically, and I start to notice it having effects on me. I bring this up several times, but each time my wife is a little annoyed and says that she is exhausted and doesn’t think about intimacy much anymore. I find it a pity, but completely understand.
A few months ago, my wife’s perfectly functional 2014 MacBook Air got a cracked screen, and it was clear that it is finally time to get a replacement. Being the keeper that I am, I bought her a new one and, in addition, I decided to get some spare parts and fix the old one as a sort of a surprise. When I got the new laptop running, I remembered we once used it to record a short private video that got forgotten and that we somehow never got to watch again. Because it has been a while since I had any intimate contact with my wife, I searched for the video and found a folder with a lot of private documents from the time when we started dating - old pictures taken on phones with shitty cameras, scans of our love letters, and such. I went over it one by one and felt close to her again. However, this abruptly changed when I found what was essentially a diary from the time we were building our friendship. In that diary, she wrote some very nice things about me. I knew I shouldn’t be reading this, but it seemed very innocent and sweet. Well, it was until I got to the parts that made me understand why she said she never had a boyfriend before me. It was one hookup after another - approximately 15 different dudes in the span of one year before we started dating. Most of them one-night stands with strangers, but also some friends with benefits.
This was shocking to me since in our relationship, she was always very vanilla and low libido. However, what hurt me the most is that she repeatedly slept with a former classmate of hers to whom she introduced me very early in our relationship (months before our small conflict regarding my ex). The tree of us even went out together once. I found the guy extremely annoying and eventually told my wife that I don’t want to go out with him again. She said okay and met with him a few times without me, which back then I had no problems with since she never told me what the deal between them was. Eventually, we moved to a different country, so that guy has been pretty much non-existent for the past 10 years or so. However, when I learned that they were more than just friends, it was like I almost literally felt something break inside me. I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I couldn’t eat; I could not sleep; I could not focus on work, and all I could think about was my wife, the mother of my children, sucking the dick of this idiot.
My rational side was telling me that she didn’t do much wrong (whatever she did before we started dating is her business) and that yes, she might have told me about them fucking at some point, but this is now so irrelevant and distant that I should not care at all. However, my emotional side was deeply hurt, upset, and I should say angry about the hypocrisy. This was not the woman I married. Again and again, I told myself that I should just get over it and go back to normal, but I somehow couldn’t. At some point I couldn’t handle it and confronted my wife. She literally could not understand what I am talking about and asked me whether I am serious, bringing out something that happened that long ago and that is so irrelevant now. She said “sorry”, but it did not feel sincere. She even got angry with me for bringing up such petty things now that we need to take care of the kids, the jobs and all.
I tell myself again and again that this should not bother me, but it does. It bothers me a lot, and for the first time ever, I am not sure I have married the right woman. She probably thinks the same since, to her, I am an asshole. Am I?
submitted by nekoneight to AITAH [link] [comments]
I (35M) met my wife (39F) at college when I was 20 and she was 24. We were friends for a year before we started dating. After two years of dating we moved in together, married 5 years after that. We have three children together (8, 5, and 3), and up until recently, our relationship was very stable, and I was 100% sure this is the woman of my life.
Before I met my current wife, I had one and only girlfriend for about two years. She was my first for everything, and it was a nice relationship overall, but as we matured, we grew apart and eventually ended the relationship amicably.
Shortly after I started dating my current wife, the topic of ex-partners naturally came up. I was honest and told her about my one ex-girlfriend. She did not ask me about any details except whether it is all resolved, to which I said a resounding yes. When I asked the same question, she sort of laughed and said that she never had a boyfriend. I found that hard to believe since she was a few years older than me, very attractive, and did not seem inexperienced at all. I asked her whether she is being serious, and she said yes. That was the end of that discussion. I would not care one way or another.
A few months after we started dating, we went to a concert together. We were sort of having fun when suddenly my girlfriend (now wife) said that she wants to leave. I asked her what is wrong, she said nothing. I asked her whether I can go with her, she said “No” and left very suddenly. As I was trying to catch her, I bumped into my ex-girlfriend, who I had no idea was there (at that point, I lived in a different town, so there was no reason to expect my ex would be there). At that point, I realized that my ex-girlfriend being present, and my current girlfriend behaving strangely might somehow be related. I found that a little weird since the two were never introduced and didn’t know each other, so I had no idea how my new girlfriend would know what my ex looked like. Anyways, I went home to get some sleep.
The next morning, my girlfriend calmed down a little, and she told me that she probably overreacted but was still disappointed with how I handled the situation and that she deserved to be informed that my ex was there. I 100% agreed with her but explained that I had no idea that my ex was there and that she must have noticed her first. That calmed her down, and she forgave me. When I asked her about how come she knows what my ex looks like, she confessed that she was digging through my social media early in the relationship (this was the early days of Facebook). I found this whole thing a little absurd, but in the light of all other positive things, it didn’t seem like anything to care about.
So fast forward 15 beautiful years later, we are now adults and have a pretty nice relationship. Taking care of the kids and two careers is pretty taxing, but we are managing. We still share common interests and love spending time with the kids and with each other. The only point of friction is that I feel like we started taking our relationship for granted and don’t date anymore. Intimacy also went down drastically, and I start to notice it having effects on me. I bring this up several times, but each time my wife is a little annoyed and says that she is exhausted and doesn’t think about intimacy much anymore. I find it a pity, but completely understand.
A few months ago, my wife’s perfectly functional 2014 MacBook Air got a cracked screen, and it was clear that it is finally time to get a replacement. Being the keeper that I am, I bought her a new one and, in addition, I decided to get some spare parts and fix the old one as a sort of a surprise. When I got the new laptop running, I remembered we once used it to record a short private video that got forgotten and that we somehow never got to watch again. Because it has been a while since I had any intimate contact with my wife, I searched for the video and found a folder with a lot of private documents from the time when we started dating - old pictures taken on phones with shitty cameras, scans of our love letters, and such. I went over it one by one and felt close to her again. However, this abruptly changed when I found what was essentially a diary from the time we were building our friendship. In that diary, she wrote some very nice things about me. I knew I shouldn’t be reading this, but it seemed very innocent and sweet. Well, it was until I got to the parts that made me understand why she said she never had a boyfriend before me. It was one hookup after another - approximately 15 different dudes in the span of one year before we started dating. Most of them one-night stands with strangers, but also some friends with benefits.
This was shocking to me since in our relationship, she was always very vanilla and low libido. However, what hurt me the most is that she repeatedly slept with a former classmate of hers to whom she introduced me very early in our relationship (months before our small conflict regarding my ex). The tree of us even went out together once. I found the guy extremely annoying and eventually told my wife that I don’t want to go out with him again. She said okay and met with him a few times without me, which back then I had no problems with since she never told me what the deal between them was. Eventually, we moved to a different country, so that guy has been pretty much non-existent for the past 10 years or so. However, when I learned that they were more than just friends, it was like I almost literally felt something break inside me. I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I couldn’t eat; I could not sleep; I could not focus on work, and all I could think about was my wife, the mother of my children, sucking the dick of this idiot.
My rational side was telling me that she didn’t do much wrong (whatever she did before we started dating is her business) and that yes, she might have told me about them fucking at some point, but this is now so irrelevant and distant that I should not care at all. However, my emotional side was deeply hurt, upset, and I should say angry about the hypocrisy. This was not the woman I married. Again and again, I told myself that I should just get over it and go back to normal, but I somehow couldn’t. At some point I couldn’t handle it and confronted my wife. She literally could not understand what I am talking about and asked me whether I am serious, bringing out something that happened that long ago and that is so irrelevant now. She said “sorry”, but it did not feel sincere. She even got angry with me for bringing up such petty things now that we need to take care of the kids, the jobs and all.
I tell myself again and again that this should not bother me, but it does. It bothers me a lot, and for the first time ever, I am not sure I have married the right woman. She probably thinks the same since, to her, I am an asshole. Am I?
2024.05.17 03:52 Longjumping-Pick-706 I Married an Imposter/The Devil Himself
I have tried to post this in the most relevant subs. I want to get the beginning of my abusive relationship out there in hopes that it will help women to avoid the psychological torture I endured for over two decades.
My apologies in advance if this is long. I was in an abusive relationship/marriage for 23 years. This incident happened when we were still friends. If I had I only known the truth when this had originally happened, I would have been saved from decades of emotional, psychological, verbal, physical, sexual, and physical abuse. (And currently post-separation abuse).
The cast: me, my ex Bub (Beelzebub), my ex-crush B, Bub's gf M, Bub's bf V (It will make sense when you read it.)
TW: Suicide, self-harm, abuse
We met through a mutual friend. We became really close really quickly. He was 17 and I was 19. We would talk for hours about anything and everything. I was raised around domestic abuse, and my family was highly dysfunctional. I suffered severe trauma as a child being raised in this environment with an abusive father and brother. (His namesake). By the time I met Bub, I had been having mental health struggles for many years. To deal with the trauma I still suffered from I would self-harm by cutting frequently. I also had been in a psychiatric hospital twice for suicide attempts. I told Bub about all of this, and he knew that I still did it. He was very supportive and would get really sad when I harmed myself.
Since we were just friends we would talk about our crushes. He had a crush on a girl from high school and I had a crush on one of my ex's B, who was also my high school crush. We only dated for 3 weeks, and we decided we were better as friends then lovers. Though we did have a FWB thing going on when we were both single. He really talked up his crush and I really talked up mine.
Two months into our friendship he got a gf. He told me she was a girl he knew from his home city named M. He claimed her mother would babysit him and his brother. He really talked this girl up. She was into all the same things as him. He said she had beautiful red hair, D breasts, liked the same books, movies and music as him. (Yes, he bragged about these things, as disgusting and corny as it sounds now). I was starting to believe he talked her up to make me jealous, which it honestly did. However, I knew it was petty jealousy and I was very happy for him and expressed that to him.
I don't know whose idea it was for her to start communicating with me, but she started emailing me to get to know his best friend (me). I was totally cool with this and was excited to get to know her. Before I know it, she starts getting really nasty with me for no apparent reason. It really upset me. My natural impulse at the time when I was upset was to cut. It was a maladaptive coping mechanism I had for years, and I did it when I was really upset. I explained this to him, and he said he would talk to her. He showed real concern I was harming myself and he also wanted her to stop.
So, he told me he had talked to her, and she had told him she would stop harassing me for no good reason. I really assumed she was jealous and let her know there was nothing to worry about. We were friends and he had a much longer history with her. She didn't stop. She continued to say the vilest and f'd up things to me, including making crass and insensitive comments about my suicidal ideation and self-harm. Naturally I was really upset and cut myself pretty badly. I still have the scar.
This basically went on until they broke up a month later. He said she was doing heroin, and he was vehemently against drugs. He said that they had a good friend that died of an OD, and he couldn't be with her if she was going to do that. It was over. She never contacted me again.
Not long after that B (my ex-bf) had come back from bootcamp. I spent a good deal of time with him while he was on home for leave for two weeks before he shipped out overseas. We decided in that time that we would no longer be FWB because I was starting to have feelings for Bub. Me and Bub started dating right after that. He ended up telling me that him and M didn't really date, and he had only told me that to make me jealous. AHA! I was correct!
So, I asked to meet her. He was a bit hesitant at first, but he finally agreed. At this point his bf V from his home city was dating her. It was the perfect opportunity to meet her as like a double date. I will say, at that time in my life I could be possessive and jealous. Not proud of it, but I was young and immature. I ended up treating her pretty snidely because of this.
One night we were out with them, and Bub got into a car accident. We ended up having to call his dad for a ride home. When we got to his home, his dad was contemplating letting them sleep there. I whispered in Bub's ear that I was not okay with his ex-gf sleeping at his house. She overheard me tell him this. She pulled me aside and told me they never dated. WHAT? I was furious. Bub made eye contact with me, and by the look on his face, I could tell he knew what she told me. The ride back, to drop them at home in his dad's car, was uncomfortable to say the least.
After he dropped them off, I confronted him. His explanation was I was so pushy to meet her, but he knew how jealous I could be, so he didn't want to actually introduce me to the real M. Ends up V was dating a girl with the same name. I felt so stupid and betrayed. I wanted to end it, but he seemed so remorseful I ended up giving him another chance.
Well, the years go rolling by, and I hear no more about this girl who he was so close with, in the past. Bub was a very charismatic person with a lot of friends. He never stopped speaking to friends permanently and they would come in and out of his life. I found it a little odd that there was no mention of her but didn't think much else of it. I also never really formally met her.
Then Facebook became a thing. He ended up being friends with every person he had ever known. Except her. I would bring it up and he would always have some excuse. We ended up moving in with his brother in 2015. I wasn't really around his brother a lot, so I never got a chance to talk to him at length. I remember at one point I brought her up. I was just so curious at the mystery girl and wanted to see if he was still in touch with her. He told me he didn't know what I was talking about. He said his mother never left them with babysitters and only worked when they were in school.
"What does that mean," I'm thinking. WTF does that mean? I brought it up to Bub and he told me she only babysat a few times so his brother probably forgot. But this didn't sit right with me. He had told me that she would babysit them frequently. He denied ever saying the frequency. What could I do but believe him? It had been almost 15 years by that point. That's a long time to keep a secret like that. Surely, he was telling me the truth. I dropped it for good.
We get married that year. We had a child the next year. We had a stillborn a year after that. All this time until 2022, I started feeling really uneasy about our relationship. I started suspecting that his behavior towards me was abusive.
Sidenote: I didn't include all the abusive behaviors in this post, as it would be a novel if I did. I'm simply recalling the events around the catalyst to my descent into hell.
By the end of 2022 I was broken. I had gotten my first of what would end up being 3 TROs against him. I dismissed the first two. (The second was a dual, as he set up a situation that created the need for me to defend myself. He claimed I wasn't defending myself. That's a story for another day). After the first two, I was still so desperate to salvage my marriage with my eternal hope that he could change. I was just so broken by then I didn't think I deserved any better, and no one else could possibly want a worthless, pitiful broken mess like me.
The summer of 2023, while laying sleepless in bed, the memory of M flashed through my mind. I started remembering details I had long forgotten. Why did I never meet her? Why was she never his friend on Facebook? Why had neither of them reached out to each other? I had met every person he talked about, or he was at least friends with them on Facebook. Why not her? Why did his brother not remember? Why did he say M's mother babysat them all the time? I KNOW he originally said that damn it! Why was her email address, at only 17-years-old, her first and last name? 17-year-olds don't use their names like professionals. They call themselves sparklybutterflies86 for christ's sakes! This was all going through my head.
The next day I confronted Bub. I will paraphrase to the best of my memory:
Me: Was M real?
Bub: I thought this had been settled already.
Me: No. No, it hasn't. You told me your brother just did not remember her and that was the last I spoke of it.
Bub: Deadpanned looking me right in the eye "No. She wasn't real. I thought you knew this by now."
I can't really remember what I said at that point, but it was a lot of "how the fuck could you do that? and other expletives. His excuse was he was an insecure teenager, and he was jealous of B and how much I talked about him. A fucking insecure teenager. Talking up his high school crush didn't make me jealous, so he made up a gf.
He pretended to be a gf, who went on to harass the shit out me. Which caused me to be so distraught that I cut myself. He knew I was harming myself and he kept on doing it. I still bare the fucking scar from that time. He involved a poor innocent girl that I was fucking terrible to. Not to mention the fake story of a friend that Od'd. And his excuse for this deranged, diabolical, INSANE fucking shit was, "I was an insecure teenager." No fucking big deal, right?
23 years. Two kids. One alive and one deceased. 23 years of complete and utter psychological annihilation with this man.
If only I had known.
If you have come this far, thank you so much for reading. I left him for good October of last year, and I have never felt more free.
submitted by Longjumping-Pick-706 to domesticviolence [link] [comments]
My apologies in advance if this is long. I was in an abusive relationship/marriage for 23 years. This incident happened when we were still friends. If I had I only known the truth when this had originally happened, I would have been saved from decades of emotional, psychological, verbal, physical, sexual, and physical abuse. (And currently post-separation abuse).
The cast: me, my ex Bub (Beelzebub), my ex-crush B, Bub's gf M, Bub's bf V (It will make sense when you read it.)
TW: Suicide, self-harm, abuse
We met through a mutual friend. We became really close really quickly. He was 17 and I was 19. We would talk for hours about anything and everything. I was raised around domestic abuse, and my family was highly dysfunctional. I suffered severe trauma as a child being raised in this environment with an abusive father and brother. (His namesake). By the time I met Bub, I had been having mental health struggles for many years. To deal with the trauma I still suffered from I would self-harm by cutting frequently. I also had been in a psychiatric hospital twice for suicide attempts. I told Bub about all of this, and he knew that I still did it. He was very supportive and would get really sad when I harmed myself.
Since we were just friends we would talk about our crushes. He had a crush on a girl from high school and I had a crush on one of my ex's B, who was also my high school crush. We only dated for 3 weeks, and we decided we were better as friends then lovers. Though we did have a FWB thing going on when we were both single. He really talked up his crush and I really talked up mine.
Two months into our friendship he got a gf. He told me she was a girl he knew from his home city named M. He claimed her mother would babysit him and his brother. He really talked this girl up. She was into all the same things as him. He said she had beautiful red hair, D breasts, liked the same books, movies and music as him. (Yes, he bragged about these things, as disgusting and corny as it sounds now). I was starting to believe he talked her up to make me jealous, which it honestly did. However, I knew it was petty jealousy and I was very happy for him and expressed that to him.
I don't know whose idea it was for her to start communicating with me, but she started emailing me to get to know his best friend (me). I was totally cool with this and was excited to get to know her. Before I know it, she starts getting really nasty with me for no apparent reason. It really upset me. My natural impulse at the time when I was upset was to cut. It was a maladaptive coping mechanism I had for years, and I did it when I was really upset. I explained this to him, and he said he would talk to her. He showed real concern I was harming myself and he also wanted her to stop.
So, he told me he had talked to her, and she had told him she would stop harassing me for no good reason. I really assumed she was jealous and let her know there was nothing to worry about. We were friends and he had a much longer history with her. She didn't stop. She continued to say the vilest and f'd up things to me, including making crass and insensitive comments about my suicidal ideation and self-harm. Naturally I was really upset and cut myself pretty badly. I still have the scar.
This basically went on until they broke up a month later. He said she was doing heroin, and he was vehemently against drugs. He said that they had a good friend that died of an OD, and he couldn't be with her if she was going to do that. It was over. She never contacted me again.
Not long after that B (my ex-bf) had come back from bootcamp. I spent a good deal of time with him while he was on home for leave for two weeks before he shipped out overseas. We decided in that time that we would no longer be FWB because I was starting to have feelings for Bub. Me and Bub started dating right after that. He ended up telling me that him and M didn't really date, and he had only told me that to make me jealous. AHA! I was correct!
So, I asked to meet her. He was a bit hesitant at first, but he finally agreed. At this point his bf V from his home city was dating her. It was the perfect opportunity to meet her as like a double date. I will say, at that time in my life I could be possessive and jealous. Not proud of it, but I was young and immature. I ended up treating her pretty snidely because of this.
One night we were out with them, and Bub got into a car accident. We ended up having to call his dad for a ride home. When we got to his home, his dad was contemplating letting them sleep there. I whispered in Bub's ear that I was not okay with his ex-gf sleeping at his house. She overheard me tell him this. She pulled me aside and told me they never dated. WHAT? I was furious. Bub made eye contact with me, and by the look on his face, I could tell he knew what she told me. The ride back, to drop them at home in his dad's car, was uncomfortable to say the least.
After he dropped them off, I confronted him. His explanation was I was so pushy to meet her, but he knew how jealous I could be, so he didn't want to actually introduce me to the real M. Ends up V was dating a girl with the same name. I felt so stupid and betrayed. I wanted to end it, but he seemed so remorseful I ended up giving him another chance.
Well, the years go rolling by, and I hear no more about this girl who he was so close with, in the past. Bub was a very charismatic person with a lot of friends. He never stopped speaking to friends permanently and they would come in and out of his life. I found it a little odd that there was no mention of her but didn't think much else of it. I also never really formally met her.
Then Facebook became a thing. He ended up being friends with every person he had ever known. Except her. I would bring it up and he would always have some excuse. We ended up moving in with his brother in 2015. I wasn't really around his brother a lot, so I never got a chance to talk to him at length. I remember at one point I brought her up. I was just so curious at the mystery girl and wanted to see if he was still in touch with her. He told me he didn't know what I was talking about. He said his mother never left them with babysitters and only worked when they were in school.
"What does that mean," I'm thinking. WTF does that mean? I brought it up to Bub and he told me she only babysat a few times so his brother probably forgot. But this didn't sit right with me. He had told me that she would babysit them frequently. He denied ever saying the frequency. What could I do but believe him? It had been almost 15 years by that point. That's a long time to keep a secret like that. Surely, he was telling me the truth. I dropped it for good.
We get married that year. We had a child the next year. We had a stillborn a year after that. All this time until 2022, I started feeling really uneasy about our relationship. I started suspecting that his behavior towards me was abusive.
Sidenote: I didn't include all the abusive behaviors in this post, as it would be a novel if I did. I'm simply recalling the events around the catalyst to my descent into hell.
By the end of 2022 I was broken. I had gotten my first of what would end up being 3 TROs against him. I dismissed the first two. (The second was a dual, as he set up a situation that created the need for me to defend myself. He claimed I wasn't defending myself. That's a story for another day). After the first two, I was still so desperate to salvage my marriage with my eternal hope that he could change. I was just so broken by then I didn't think I deserved any better, and no one else could possibly want a worthless, pitiful broken mess like me.
The summer of 2023, while laying sleepless in bed, the memory of M flashed through my mind. I started remembering details I had long forgotten. Why did I never meet her? Why was she never his friend on Facebook? Why had neither of them reached out to each other? I had met every person he talked about, or he was at least friends with them on Facebook. Why not her? Why did his brother not remember? Why did he say M's mother babysat them all the time? I KNOW he originally said that damn it! Why was her email address, at only 17-years-old, her first and last name? 17-year-olds don't use their names like professionals. They call themselves sparklybutterflies86 for christ's sakes! This was all going through my head.
The next day I confronted Bub. I will paraphrase to the best of my memory:
Me: Was M real?
Bub: I thought this had been settled already.
Me: No. No, it hasn't. You told me your brother just did not remember her and that was the last I spoke of it.
Bub: Deadpanned looking me right in the eye "No. She wasn't real. I thought you knew this by now."
I can't really remember what I said at that point, but it was a lot of "how the fuck could you do that? and other expletives. His excuse was he was an insecure teenager, and he was jealous of B and how much I talked about him. A fucking insecure teenager. Talking up his high school crush didn't make me jealous, so he made up a gf.
He pretended to be a gf, who went on to harass the shit out me. Which caused me to be so distraught that I cut myself. He knew I was harming myself and he kept on doing it. I still bare the fucking scar from that time. He involved a poor innocent girl that I was fucking terrible to. Not to mention the fake story of a friend that Od'd. And his excuse for this deranged, diabolical, INSANE fucking shit was, "I was an insecure teenager." No fucking big deal, right?
23 years. Two kids. One alive and one deceased. 23 years of complete and utter psychological annihilation with this man.
If only I had known.
If you have come this far, thank you so much for reading. I left him for good October of last year, and I have never felt more free.
2024.05.17 03:46 Longjumping-Pick-706 If I Had Only Known
I posted this in two other subs before I found this one. I feel this is the most appropriate sub to post this in and may help others to see how insidious and damaging narcs can be. Heads up, it's a long read. Here goes...
I suffered through narcisstic abuse by my partner for 23 years. This incident happened when we were still friends. If I had I only known the truth when this had originally happened, I would have been saved from decades of emotional, psychological, verbal, physical, sexual, and physical abuse. (And currently post-separation abuse).
The cast: me, my ex Bub (Beelzebub), my ex-crush B, Bub's gf M, Bub's bf V (It will make sense when you read it.)
TW: Suicide, self-harm, abuse
We met through a mutual friend. We became really close really quickly. He was 17 and I was 19. We would talk for hours about anything and everything. I was raised around domestic abuse, and my family was highly dysfunctional. I suffered severe trauma as a child being raised in this environment with an abusive father and brother. (His namesake). By the time I met Bub, I had been having mental health struggles for many years. To deal with the trauma I still suffered from I would self-harm by cutting frequently. I also had been in a psychiatric hospital twice for suicide attempts. I told Bub about all of this, and he knew that I still did it. He was very supportive and would get really sad when I harmed myself.
Since we were just friends we would talk about our crushes. He had a crush on a girl from high school and I had a crush on one of my ex's B, who was also my high school crush. We only dated for 3 weeks, and we decided we were better as friends then lovers. Though we did have a FWB thing going on when we were both single. He really talked up his crush and I really talked up mine.
Two months into our friendship he got a gf. He told me she was a girl he knew from his home city named M. He claimed her mother would babysit him and his brother. He really talked this girl up. She was into all the same things as him. He said she had beautiful red hair, D breasts, liked the same books, movies and music as him. (Yes, he bragged about these things, as disgusting and corny as it sounds now). I was starting to believe he talked her up to make me jealous, which it honestly did. However, I knew it was petty jealousy and I was very happy for him and expressed that to him.
I don't know whose idea it was for her to start communicating with me, but she started emailing me to get to know his best friend (me). I was totally cool with this and was excited to get to know her. Before I know it, she starts getting really nasty with me for no apparent reason. It really upset me. My natural impulse at the time when I was upset was to cut. It was a maladaptive coping mechanism I had for years, and I did it when I was really upset. I explained this to him, and he said he would talk to her. He showed real concern I was harming myself and he also wanted her to stop.
So, he told me he had talked to her, and she had told him she would stop harassing me for no good reason. I really assumed she was jealous and let her know there was nothing to worry about. We were friends and he had a much longer history with her. She didn't stop. She continued to say the vilest and f'd up things to me, including making crass and insensitive comments about my suicidal ideation and self-harm. Naturally I was really upset and cut myself pretty badly. I still have the scar.
This basically went on until they broke up a month later. He said she was doing heroin, and he was vehemently against drugs. He said that they had a good friend that died of an OD, and he couldn't be with her if she was going to do that. It was over. She never contacted me again.
Not long after that B (my ex-bf) had come back from bootcamp. I spent a good deal of time with him while he was on home for leave for two weeks before he shipped out overseas. We decided in that time that we would no longer be FWB because I was starting to have feelings for Bub. Me and Bub started dating right after that. He ended up telling me that him and M didn't really date, and he had only told me that to make me jealous. AHA! I was correct!
So, I asked to meet her. He was a bit hesitant at first, but he finally agreed. At this point his bf V from his home city was dating her. It was the perfect opportunity to meet her as like a double date. I will say, at that time in my life I could be possessive and jealous. Not proud of it, but I was young and immature. I ended up treating her pretty snidely because of this.
One night we were out with them, and Bub got into a car accident. We ended up having to call his dad for a ride home. When we got to his home, his dad was contemplating letting them sleep there. I whispered in Bub's ear that I was not okay with his ex-gf sleeping at his house. She overheard me tell him this. She pulled me aside and told me they never dated. WHAT? I was furious. Bub made eye contact with me, and by the look on his face, I could tell he knew what she told me. The ride back, to drop them at home in his dad's car, was uncomfortable to say the least.
After he dropped them off, I confronted him. His explanation was I was so pushy to meet her, but he knew how jealous I could be, so he didn't want to actually introduce me to the real M. Ends up V was dating a girl with the same name. I felt so stupid and betrayed. I wanted to end it, but he seemed so remorseful I ended up giving him another chance.
Well, the years go rolling by, and I hear no more about this girl who he was so close with, in the past. Bub was a very charismatic person with a lot of friends. He never stopped speaking to friends permanently and they would come in and out of his life. I found it a little odd that there was no mention of her but didn't think much else of it. I also never really formally met her.
Then Facebook became a thing. He ended up being friends with every person he had ever known. Except her. I would bring it up and he would always have some excuse. We ended up moving in with his brother in 2015. I wasn't really around his brother a lot, so I never got a chance to talk to him at length. I remember at one point I brought her up. I was just so curious at the mystery girl and wanted to see if he was still in touch with her. He told me he didn't know what I was talking about. He said his mother never left them with babysitters and only worked when they were in school.
"What does that mean," I'm thinking. WTF does that mean? I brought it up to Bub and he told me she only babysat a few times so his brother probably forgot. But this didn't sit right with me. He had told me that she would babysit them frequently. He denied ever saying the frequency. What could I do but believe him? It had been almost 15 years by that point. That's a long time to keep a secret like that. Surely, he was telling me the truth. I dropped it for good.
We get married that year. We had a child the next year. We had a stillborn a year after that. All this time until 2022, I started feeling really uneasy about our relationship. I started suspecting that his behavior towards me was abusive.
Sidenote: I didn't include all the abusive behaviors in this post, as it would be a novel if I did. I'm simply recalling the events around the catalyst to my descent into hell.
By the end of 2022 I was broken. I had gotten my first of what would end up being 3 TROs against him. I dismissed the first two. (The second was a dual, as he set up a situation that created the need for me to defend myself. He claimed I wasn't defending myself. That's a story for another day). After the first two, I was still so desperate to salvage my marriage with my eternal hope that he could change. I was just so broken by then I didn't think I deserved any better, and no one else could possibly want a worthless, pitiful broken mess like me.
The summer of 2023, while laying sleepless in bed, the memory of M flashed through my mind. I started remembering details I had long forgotten. Why did I never meet her? Why was she never his friend on Facebook? Why had neither of them reached out to each other? I had met every person he talked about, or he was at least friends with them on Facebook. Why not her? Why did his brother not remember? Why did he say M's mother babysat them all the time? I KNOW he originally said that damn it! Why was her email address, at only 17-years-old, her first and last name? 17-year-olds don't use their names like professionals. They call themselves sparklybutterflies86 for christ's sakes! This was all going through my head.
The next day I confronted Bub. I will paraphrase to the best of my memory:
Me: Was M real?
Bub: I thought this had been settled already.
Me: No. No, it hasn't. You told me your brother just did not remember her and that was the last I spoke of it.
Bub: Deadpanned looking me right in the eye "No. She wasn't real. I thought you knew this by now."
I can't really remember what I said at that point, but it was a lot of "how the fuck could you do that? and other expletives. His excuse was he was an insecure teenager, and he was jealous of B and how much I talked about him. A fucking insecure teenager. Talking up his high school crush didn't make me jealous, so he made up a gf.
He pretended to be a gf, who went on to harass the shit out me. Which caused me to be so distraught that I cut myself. He knew I was harming myself and he kept on doing it. I still bare the fucking scar from that time. He involved a poor innocent girl that I was fucking terrible to. Not to mention the fake story of a friend that Od'd. And his excuse for this deranged, diabolical, INSANE fucking shit was, "I was an insecure teenager." No fucking big deal, right?
23 years. Two kids. One alive and one deceased. 23 years of complete and utter psychological annihilation with this man.
If only I had known.
If you have come this far, thank you so much for reading. I left him for good October of last year, and I have never felt more free.
submitted by Longjumping-Pick-706 to NarcissisticSpouses [link] [comments]
I suffered through narcisstic abuse by my partner for 23 years. This incident happened when we were still friends. If I had I only known the truth when this had originally happened, I would have been saved from decades of emotional, psychological, verbal, physical, sexual, and physical abuse. (And currently post-separation abuse).
The cast: me, my ex Bub (Beelzebub), my ex-crush B, Bub's gf M, Bub's bf V (It will make sense when you read it.)
TW: Suicide, self-harm, abuse
We met through a mutual friend. We became really close really quickly. He was 17 and I was 19. We would talk for hours about anything and everything. I was raised around domestic abuse, and my family was highly dysfunctional. I suffered severe trauma as a child being raised in this environment with an abusive father and brother. (His namesake). By the time I met Bub, I had been having mental health struggles for many years. To deal with the trauma I still suffered from I would self-harm by cutting frequently. I also had been in a psychiatric hospital twice for suicide attempts. I told Bub about all of this, and he knew that I still did it. He was very supportive and would get really sad when I harmed myself.
Since we were just friends we would talk about our crushes. He had a crush on a girl from high school and I had a crush on one of my ex's B, who was also my high school crush. We only dated for 3 weeks, and we decided we were better as friends then lovers. Though we did have a FWB thing going on when we were both single. He really talked up his crush and I really talked up mine.
Two months into our friendship he got a gf. He told me she was a girl he knew from his home city named M. He claimed her mother would babysit him and his brother. He really talked this girl up. She was into all the same things as him. He said she had beautiful red hair, D breasts, liked the same books, movies and music as him. (Yes, he bragged about these things, as disgusting and corny as it sounds now). I was starting to believe he talked her up to make me jealous, which it honestly did. However, I knew it was petty jealousy and I was very happy for him and expressed that to him.
I don't know whose idea it was for her to start communicating with me, but she started emailing me to get to know his best friend (me). I was totally cool with this and was excited to get to know her. Before I know it, she starts getting really nasty with me for no apparent reason. It really upset me. My natural impulse at the time when I was upset was to cut. It was a maladaptive coping mechanism I had for years, and I did it when I was really upset. I explained this to him, and he said he would talk to her. He showed real concern I was harming myself and he also wanted her to stop.
So, he told me he had talked to her, and she had told him she would stop harassing me for no good reason. I really assumed she was jealous and let her know there was nothing to worry about. We were friends and he had a much longer history with her. She didn't stop. She continued to say the vilest and f'd up things to me, including making crass and insensitive comments about my suicidal ideation and self-harm. Naturally I was really upset and cut myself pretty badly. I still have the scar.
This basically went on until they broke up a month later. He said she was doing heroin, and he was vehemently against drugs. He said that they had a good friend that died of an OD, and he couldn't be with her if she was going to do that. It was over. She never contacted me again.
Not long after that B (my ex-bf) had come back from bootcamp. I spent a good deal of time with him while he was on home for leave for two weeks before he shipped out overseas. We decided in that time that we would no longer be FWB because I was starting to have feelings for Bub. Me and Bub started dating right after that. He ended up telling me that him and M didn't really date, and he had only told me that to make me jealous. AHA! I was correct!
So, I asked to meet her. He was a bit hesitant at first, but he finally agreed. At this point his bf V from his home city was dating her. It was the perfect opportunity to meet her as like a double date. I will say, at that time in my life I could be possessive and jealous. Not proud of it, but I was young and immature. I ended up treating her pretty snidely because of this.
One night we were out with them, and Bub got into a car accident. We ended up having to call his dad for a ride home. When we got to his home, his dad was contemplating letting them sleep there. I whispered in Bub's ear that I was not okay with his ex-gf sleeping at his house. She overheard me tell him this. She pulled me aside and told me they never dated. WHAT? I was furious. Bub made eye contact with me, and by the look on his face, I could tell he knew what she told me. The ride back, to drop them at home in his dad's car, was uncomfortable to say the least.
After he dropped them off, I confronted him. His explanation was I was so pushy to meet her, but he knew how jealous I could be, so he didn't want to actually introduce me to the real M. Ends up V was dating a girl with the same name. I felt so stupid and betrayed. I wanted to end it, but he seemed so remorseful I ended up giving him another chance.
Well, the years go rolling by, and I hear no more about this girl who he was so close with, in the past. Bub was a very charismatic person with a lot of friends. He never stopped speaking to friends permanently and they would come in and out of his life. I found it a little odd that there was no mention of her but didn't think much else of it. I also never really formally met her.
Then Facebook became a thing. He ended up being friends with every person he had ever known. Except her. I would bring it up and he would always have some excuse. We ended up moving in with his brother in 2015. I wasn't really around his brother a lot, so I never got a chance to talk to him at length. I remember at one point I brought her up. I was just so curious at the mystery girl and wanted to see if he was still in touch with her. He told me he didn't know what I was talking about. He said his mother never left them with babysitters and only worked when they were in school.
"What does that mean," I'm thinking. WTF does that mean? I brought it up to Bub and he told me she only babysat a few times so his brother probably forgot. But this didn't sit right with me. He had told me that she would babysit them frequently. He denied ever saying the frequency. What could I do but believe him? It had been almost 15 years by that point. That's a long time to keep a secret like that. Surely, he was telling me the truth. I dropped it for good.
We get married that year. We had a child the next year. We had a stillborn a year after that. All this time until 2022, I started feeling really uneasy about our relationship. I started suspecting that his behavior towards me was abusive.
Sidenote: I didn't include all the abusive behaviors in this post, as it would be a novel if I did. I'm simply recalling the events around the catalyst to my descent into hell.
By the end of 2022 I was broken. I had gotten my first of what would end up being 3 TROs against him. I dismissed the first two. (The second was a dual, as he set up a situation that created the need for me to defend myself. He claimed I wasn't defending myself. That's a story for another day). After the first two, I was still so desperate to salvage my marriage with my eternal hope that he could change. I was just so broken by then I didn't think I deserved any better, and no one else could possibly want a worthless, pitiful broken mess like me.
The summer of 2023, while laying sleepless in bed, the memory of M flashed through my mind. I started remembering details I had long forgotten. Why did I never meet her? Why was she never his friend on Facebook? Why had neither of them reached out to each other? I had met every person he talked about, or he was at least friends with them on Facebook. Why not her? Why did his brother not remember? Why did he say M's mother babysat them all the time? I KNOW he originally said that damn it! Why was her email address, at only 17-years-old, her first and last name? 17-year-olds don't use their names like professionals. They call themselves sparklybutterflies86 for christ's sakes! This was all going through my head.
The next day I confronted Bub. I will paraphrase to the best of my memory:
Me: Was M real?
Bub: I thought this had been settled already.
Me: No. No, it hasn't. You told me your brother just did not remember her and that was the last I spoke of it.
Bub: Deadpanned looking me right in the eye "No. She wasn't real. I thought you knew this by now."
I can't really remember what I said at that point, but it was a lot of "how the fuck could you do that? and other expletives. His excuse was he was an insecure teenager, and he was jealous of B and how much I talked about him. A fucking insecure teenager. Talking up his high school crush didn't make me jealous, so he made up a gf.
He pretended to be a gf, who went on to harass the shit out me. Which caused me to be so distraught that I cut myself. He knew I was harming myself and he kept on doing it. I still bare the fucking scar from that time. He involved a poor innocent girl that I was fucking terrible to. Not to mention the fake story of a friend that Od'd. And his excuse for this deranged, diabolical, INSANE fucking shit was, "I was an insecure teenager." No fucking big deal, right?
23 years. Two kids. One alive and one deceased. 23 years of complete and utter psychological annihilation with this man.
If only I had known.
If you have come this far, thank you so much for reading. I left him for good October of last year, and I have never felt more free.
2024.05.17 03:37 IDreamtIwokeUp The Famous Gary Renard vs Bruce MacDonald Debate: A Tale of Two Thomas’es
Who is Gary Renard:
Gary is a famous ACIM author. He has written “The Disappearance of the Universe”. He claims to be the reincarnation of the disciple Thomas and he claims his book came to him by inflesh ascended masters. He calls these Arten and Pursah. Purshah is supposedly a future incarnation of Thomas, and Arten a future incarnation of Saint Thaddeus.
Who is Bruce MacDonald:
Following a NDE, Bruce had some mystical experiences. He claims after this he was able to talk to God, Jesus, and in a past life he was the disciple Thomas. He wrote two books about this including “The Thomas Book Near Death, a Quest and a New Gospel by the Twin Brother of Jesus”. There he recounts his adventures as a disciple in Jesus’s inner circle and relays supposedly new teachings about Jesus.
Tragically it appears he died somewhat recently and his website went offline. That had a ton of interesting information about Gary Renard, Thomas, and even the Course in Miracles. But…the good news is much of it is still available from archive.org. Here is an archived sitemap.
The Thomas Conflict:
They both claim to be Thomas! This is extra funny when you consider the original meaning of the word Thomas means twin.
Let’s start with Gary Renard’s claims:
In 1945 the Gospel of Thomas was discovered. Scholars Stephen Patterson and Marvin Meyer translated this into English (http://www.gnosis.org/naghamm/gosthom.html).
Renard claimed the ascended master Pursah (future Thomas from the past) dictated to him a new and corrected version of the Gospel of Thomas. This was put into the book “Pursah’s Gospel of Thomas”.
However it appears Bruce did differential analysis on this and the Patterson/Meyer version and discovered they often were identical.
That can’t be. The Gospel of Thomas was written in coptic, but was likely seeded from Greek or Aramic sources. An ascended master like Pursah should be able to go straight to the source to explain what these teachings meant. Yet these are too similar to existing English translations. For translation work this is just too coincidental. Anybody familiar with language translations knows there is a fair degree of subjectivity that happens in the process. A lack of variance between two translations is suspicious.
Now there are differences…but many are minor and perhaps “token”. What’s even stranger is the location of the “token differences”. They are mostly placed in the early verses and gradually tapered off. As if Gary (or a source for Gary) got tired of “improving” the verses and got lazy in the end and just copy/pasted.
Greg Mackie Chimes in:
https://circleofa.org/library/gary-renard/
Some of Greg’s claims are unfair (like his criticism of the ascended master concept)...but some of his critiques are well done and raise legit questions about the audacity of Gary’s “ascended masters”. Examples:
https://circleofa.org/library/why-dont-the-masters-have-an-original-thought/
Robert observes that many of Purah’s channeled teachings sound coincidentally VERY similar to the teachings of Wapnick and use Ken’s unique language. He goes into great detail on this. An example:
Gary Reacts to Robert Perry and Bruce MacDonald:
https://www.garyrenard.com/FraudAccusations.html
Gary very angrily defends himself against both complaints. Examples:
Bruce MacDonald believes that Jesus had relatives who were his disciples…and this included his twin brother Didymos Judas Thomas. The words Didymos and Thomas actually mean twin. Judas was a common name and note this wasn’t the same Judas that sold Jesus. All that said though, I don’t believe this part of the story. Twin is more likely to be symbolic (more on this below).
Kim MIchaels Chimes In:
Jesus (per Kim) explains that the disciples did not write any of the gospels directly. Also he didn’t dictate them, but there was some inspiration: https://ascendedmasteranswers.com/gospel-of-thomas/
Jesus (per Kim) when asked if any disciples (specifically Thomas) were fallen beings, admits some were. On Thomas he says he has moved on and made his ascension: https://ascendedmasteranswers.com/gospel-of-thomas/
Jesus (per Kim) is asked if Judas Thomas is the biological twin brother of Jesus. Jesus indicates no. Rather family terms were used for spirit ranks. First there was brother, then bride, then twin (these were figurative not literal terms). Thomas reached twin status, which allowed Jesus to communicate with him more effectively. This seems to contradict Bruce’s testimony. https://ascendedmasteranswers.com/judas-thomas/ & https://ascendedmasteranswers.com/becoming-a-twin-of-jesus/
Mother Mary (per Kim) responds to a question about the “The Disappearance of the Universe”. She claims this is not a legit book. Masters don’t travel back in time to teach to themselves. The true messagers for DU are actually coming from a lower mental realm and not the ascended realm. She is generally dismissive of DU: https://ascendedmasteranswers.com/ideas-from-the-disappearance-of-the-universe-by-gary-renard/
Gary’s Weird Connections:
Gary claims he found a girl who was the reincarnation of Helen Schucman. Apparently Ken agreed. Gary even posted a picture of him and the girl on Facebook.
Included in the photo is his wife Cindy who Gary claims is the reincarnation of Thaddeus. Bruce MacDonald claims that Thaddeus was not a separate person in the bible but was actually an alias for Thomas. So did Gary marry himself?
Even more confusing….on top of this there is actually a woman on this Reddit forum (I won’t dox her) who claims David Hoffmeister said she was the incarnation of Helen. But when David told Gary this, Gary said he already found his reincarnated Helen.
Reddit User Predicts Content for Gary’s 3rd Book
https://www.reddit.com/ACIM/comments/ecxr3b/comment/fbgc40k/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
This is odd…how could a Reddit user predict what content an ascended master would dictate to Gary for a future yet unwritten book?
Simon Magus Connection
https://web.archive.org/web/20210411093059/http://thomastwin.com/20%20A%20ACIM,%20Simon%20and%20Trinity.html
Simon per the bible was a magician and trickster. He’s considered a somewhat malevolent entity. Bruce MacDonald claims he was shown a vision in which it was revealed that th Gary was the reincarnation of Simon Magus and he is tricking people now as he did previously.
Bruce claims this was dictated to him from Thomas…but it was also an experiential event. He believes he was there as Thomas in a previous life.
The contents of the book are interesting. This includes some unique takes. Eg He goes into detail on the background of Mary Magdalene and Jesus and how they were married early, but he left her early on to focus on his spiritual work.
The most extraordinary claim is of the crucifixion. Thomas claims that the disciples knew that Jesus would be executed. But they didn’t have photographs back then and knew the Romans could have difficulty identifying Jesus. So they hatched a plan to have “Saul” impersonate Jesus. He would be executed in the place of Jesus. The three ring leaders of this plan were Judas, Thomas and Peter (the three hot heads). They actually kidnapped Jesus and hid him away during the trial. Thomas believed a fake Jesus was crucified (hence the doubting Thomas meme), but Peter is irate and claims the real Jesus ended up on the cross which Thomas doesn’t believe because he was in charge of guarding the kidnapped Jesus. It is possible Jesus bi-located (masters can do this) to throw off this plan. Certainly both Mary’s saw Jesus on the cross…they would have recognized a fake Jesus.
What’s also interesting is the contempt that Thomas has for Peter in much of this book. To Thomas Peter is very dogmatic and overly critical of sex. Thomas was also not a fan of the essenes (which Peter was among), and was upset that apparently Joseph and Mary were kicked out of the essene community for minor rule violations.
Bruce MacDonald on the dictation of ACIM
https://web.archive.org/web/20210411093059/http://thomastwin.com/20%20A%20ACIM,%20Simon%20and%20Trinity.html
https://web.archive.org/web/20190718234659/http://thomastwin.com/21%20A%20Jesus,%20God%20and%20ACIM.html (scroll all the way down to “Yeshua said it would be best for him to start”)
Robert Perry asks Bruce to ask Jesus about the Course. He does and the answers are very interesting.
It’s too long to repost here, but this Jesus is largely critical of the Course. He states the real author was impersonating him (something other sources have said) and its teachings are mostly incorrect (eg the Course indicates God is very far away when he isn’t). This Jesus also cites some examples of the Course changing between third person, “we”, and “I” when referring to Jesus as evidence something is up. This Jesus also says that Gary was not Thomas, and that Pursah and Arten are not ascended masters. This Jesus also says Simon Magus was the real author of the Course.
Bruce then responds to the response: https://web.archive.org/web/20210618175625/http://thomastwin.com/22%20A%20Reaction%20to%20ACIM.html
Conclusions:
All these crazy stories are enough to make one suspect of ANY divine revelation or channeled source. My personal opinion is that Gary Renard is not consciously deceiving his followers. But, he is getting guidance from incorporeal life forms who are NOT ascended masters and ARE interested in deception. In this sense Gary is more of a victim, but he does he deserves blame for not showing discernment. I’m sure there are many instances by which these “ascended masters” behaved strangely and showed red flags to Gary who I suspect is loath to reveal these publicly.
As for Bruce, I don’t know what to think. He came from a more orthodox christian background and this may have jaded his view on the Course. He does make mistakes. But some of what he says rings true.
I don’t think either was the real Thomas. Although I think the disciple Thomas might have been one of the entities that was communicating to Bruce.
submitted by IDreamtIwokeUp to ACIM [link] [comments]
Gary is a famous ACIM author. He has written “The Disappearance of the Universe”. He claims to be the reincarnation of the disciple Thomas and he claims his book came to him by inflesh ascended masters. He calls these Arten and Pursah. Purshah is supposedly a future incarnation of Thomas, and Arten a future incarnation of Saint Thaddeus.
Who is Bruce MacDonald:
Following a NDE, Bruce had some mystical experiences. He claims after this he was able to talk to God, Jesus, and in a past life he was the disciple Thomas. He wrote two books about this including “The Thomas Book Near Death, a Quest and a New Gospel by the Twin Brother of Jesus”. There he recounts his adventures as a disciple in Jesus’s inner circle and relays supposedly new teachings about Jesus.
Tragically it appears he died somewhat recently and his website went offline. That had a ton of interesting information about Gary Renard, Thomas, and even the Course in Miracles. But…the good news is much of it is still available from archive.org. Here is an archived sitemap.
The Thomas Conflict:
They both claim to be Thomas! This is extra funny when you consider the original meaning of the word Thomas means twin.
Let’s start with Gary Renard’s claims:
- Supposedly there is a famous past life channeler “Kevin Ryserson”. He was able to interview the incorporeal entity known as Ahtun Re. And Ahtun Re in turn provides many detailed and interesting celebrity past life details. You can read them here (some are jaw dropping…eg Trump = Nero, Putin = Caesar, Biden = Emperor Theodosius). He was friends with Gary and claimed publicly that Gary Renard is the reincarnation of Thomas.
- Gary claims that Pursah is the reincarnation of Saint Thomas and Arten is the reincarnation of St. Thaddaeus…but per Bruce Thaddeaeus is an alias for Didymos Judas Thomas the disciple, so are Arten and Pursah (and Gary) the same person?
- Kevin Ryserson/Ahtun Re publicly proclaimed that Bruce was not the disciple Thomas, but rather a later scribe who wrote down the Gospel of Thomas.
- But Bruce claimed that Kevin privately told him he was indeed the reincarnation of Thomas, but didn’t want to go public to jeopardize his friendship with Gary.
- Bruce also proclaims his private guides and and Ahtun Re himself confirmed he was the real Thomas
- Bruce claims that Gary is unaware that St. Thomas and Didymos Judas Thomas were separate people, yet impossibly Gary claims to be both. Bruce says a separate person wrote the gospel of Thomas (not Thomas himself) which he claims Gary doesn’t realize.
In 1945 the Gospel of Thomas was discovered. Scholars Stephen Patterson and Marvin Meyer translated this into English (http://www.gnosis.org/naghamm/gosthom.html).
Renard claimed the ascended master Pursah (future Thomas from the past) dictated to him a new and corrected version of the Gospel of Thomas. This was put into the book “Pursah’s Gospel of Thomas”.
However it appears Bruce did differential analysis on this and the Patterson/Meyer version and discovered they often were identical.
That can’t be. The Gospel of Thomas was written in coptic, but was likely seeded from Greek or Aramic sources. An ascended master like Pursah should be able to go straight to the source to explain what these teachings meant. Yet these are too similar to existing English translations. For translation work this is just too coincidental. Anybody familiar with language translations knows there is a fair degree of subjectivity that happens in the process. A lack of variance between two translations is suspicious.
Now there are differences…but many are minor and perhaps “token”. What’s even stranger is the location of the “token differences”. They are mostly placed in the early verses and gradually tapered off. As if Gary (or a source for Gary) got tired of “improving” the verses and got lazy in the end and just copy/pasted.
Greg Mackie Chimes in:
https://circleofa.org/library/gary-renard/
Some of Greg’s claims are unfair (like his criticism of the ascended master concept)...but some of his critiques are well done and raise legit questions about the audacity of Gary’s “ascended masters”. Examples:
- Arten: An issue of Time Magazine in the 1970s had the words “God is dead” on the cover (121). (He doesn’t say “on the cover,” but it is clear that he is referring to the famous Time Magazine cover.) Actually, the issue came out in 1966 and had “Is God dead?” on the cover.
- Arten: The Jefferson Bible “will be made available soon for those who want to see it” (218). It has been available at least since 1904 (some sources say 1903), when it was first published.
- Pursah: Pursah implies that the Muslim holy month of Ramadan occurs around the same time as Christmas (297). Ramadan is based on the lunar calendar and therefore can occur any time of year.
- Pursah: “Constantine made Christianity the official religion of the Roman Empire…by law any other religions or spiritual ideas were outlawed” (50). Constantine legalized and supported Christianity, but he did not make it the only legal religion of the Roman Empire. This was done by a later emperor, Theodosius (who reigned from 379 to 395 C.E.).
- Arten: “The United States…has much more of a responsibility when it comes to diffusing situations than anybody else does” (337). This one is worthy of George W. Bush; the correct word is not “diffusing” but “defusing.”
https://circleofa.org/library/why-dont-the-masters-have-an-original-thought/
Robert observes that many of Purah’s channeled teachings sound coincidentally VERY similar to the teachings of Wapnick and use Ken’s unique language. He goes into great detail on this. An example:
Pursah: “You romanticize the South American rainforest by thinking it’s one of the holiest spots on earth. If you could observe in accelerated motion what goes on underneath the ground there, you would see that the roots of trees actually compete with each other for the water”If Gary were using ascended masters as a literary device this would make sense. Gary was a HUGE fan of Ken’s. It would be logical if some of his mannerisms rubbed off on Gary. But for an ascended master to plagiarize Ken seems a bit odd.
Wapnick: “We admire the beauties and wondrous delicacies of nature. Yet within this same world we perceive competition and destructiveness….Trees’ roots strangle neighboring roots seeking their rightful soil.”
Gary Reacts to Robert Perry and Bruce MacDonald:
https://www.garyrenard.com/FraudAccusations.html
Gary very angrily defends himself against both complaints. Examples:
This latest, ludicrous controversy is being championed and promoted by Robert Perry and the so-called "Circle of Atonement." Robert has a long track record of attacking other A Course in Miracles teachers, including Ken Wapnick and myself. For 15 years, Robert has been the most divisive force in the A Course in Miracles community. His actions over this long period of time are an insult to everything that A Course in Miracles stands for.Jesus Twin Theory
…
As for Robert Perry, his jealousy of me is so severe I think at this point the only thing that would stop him from trying to attack me would be if someone drove a wooden stake through his heart.
…
Robert Perry will try to tell you this isn't personal with him. Don't believe him. He'll try to tell you that he's a "scholar." A scholar? That's odd. I don't see a PhD next to his name. How honest is that?
Bruce MacDonald believes that Jesus had relatives who were his disciples…and this included his twin brother Didymos Judas Thomas. The words Didymos and Thomas actually mean twin. Judas was a common name and note this wasn’t the same Judas that sold Jesus. All that said though, I don’t believe this part of the story. Twin is more likely to be symbolic (more on this below).
Kim MIchaels Chimes In:
Jesus (per Kim) explains that the disciples did not write any of the gospels directly. Also he didn’t dictate them, but there was some inspiration: https://ascendedmasteranswers.com/gospel-of-thomas/
Jesus (per Kim) when asked if any disciples (specifically Thomas) were fallen beings, admits some were. On Thomas he says he has moved on and made his ascension: https://ascendedmasteranswers.com/gospel-of-thomas/
Jesus (per Kim) is asked if Judas Thomas is the biological twin brother of Jesus. Jesus indicates no. Rather family terms were used for spirit ranks. First there was brother, then bride, then twin (these were figurative not literal terms). Thomas reached twin status, which allowed Jesus to communicate with him more effectively. This seems to contradict Bruce’s testimony. https://ascendedmasteranswers.com/judas-thomas/ & https://ascendedmasteranswers.com/becoming-a-twin-of-jesus/
Mother Mary (per Kim) responds to a question about the “The Disappearance of the Universe”. She claims this is not a legit book. Masters don’t travel back in time to teach to themselves. The true messagers for DU are actually coming from a lower mental realm and not the ascended realm. She is generally dismissive of DU: https://ascendedmasteranswers.com/ideas-from-the-disappearance-of-the-universe-by-gary-renard/
Gary’s Weird Connections:
Gary claims he found a girl who was the reincarnation of Helen Schucman. Apparently Ken agreed. Gary even posted a picture of him and the girl on Facebook.
Included in the photo is his wife Cindy who Gary claims is the reincarnation of Thaddeus. Bruce MacDonald claims that Thaddeus was not a separate person in the bible but was actually an alias for Thomas. So did Gary marry himself?
Even more confusing….on top of this there is actually a woman on this Reddit forum (I won’t dox her) who claims David Hoffmeister said she was the incarnation of Helen. But when David told Gary this, Gary said he already found his reincarnated Helen.
Reddit User Predicts Content for Gary’s 3rd Book
https://www.reddit.com/ACIM/comments/ecxr3b/comment/fbgc40k/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
This is odd…how could a Reddit user predict what content an ascended master would dictate to Gary for a future yet unwritten book?
Simon Magus Connection
https://web.archive.org/web/20210411093059/http://thomastwin.com/20%20A%20ACIM,%20Simon%20and%20Trinity.html
Simon per the bible was a magician and trickster. He’s considered a somewhat malevolent entity. Bruce MacDonald claims he was shown a vision in which it was revealed that th Gary was the reincarnation of Simon Magus and he is tricking people now as he did previously.
I have heard of at least two people who have had the experience of Simon Magus trying to “possess” their bodies since they were children, even trying to push them out of the body to take over. It would seem that, instead of withdrawing into the spiritual realms between lives, Simon Magus has remained as a “ghost,” a kind of psychic vampire who maintains his life in the astral realms by feeding on the lives of the living through the centuries. The people I have communicated with or heard of have had the strong sense of a negative male presence trying to take over their lives, draining their energy, alienating other people and claiming to be Simon Magus. In one case, this Simon actually insisted that the person who was the victim of this kind of “psychic vampirism” should read A Course in Miracles, in order to make the person more aware of the philosophy of Simon Magus and the Simonians. There was also a female presence which seemed to be Helen. I heard this from someone who was so traumatized by the disembodied Simon Magus since childhood that they searched on Google for anything to do with Simon and found my website, which confirmed for them all they had been experiencing. Fortunately, I have been able to help through The Prayer of Silence and The Thomas Book.Thomas Book per Bruce MacDonald
Bruce claims this was dictated to him from Thomas…but it was also an experiential event. He believes he was there as Thomas in a previous life.
The contents of the book are interesting. This includes some unique takes. Eg He goes into detail on the background of Mary Magdalene and Jesus and how they were married early, but he left her early on to focus on his spiritual work.
The most extraordinary claim is of the crucifixion. Thomas claims that the disciples knew that Jesus would be executed. But they didn’t have photographs back then and knew the Romans could have difficulty identifying Jesus. So they hatched a plan to have “Saul” impersonate Jesus. He would be executed in the place of Jesus. The three ring leaders of this plan were Judas, Thomas and Peter (the three hot heads). They actually kidnapped Jesus and hid him away during the trial. Thomas believed a fake Jesus was crucified (hence the doubting Thomas meme), but Peter is irate and claims the real Jesus ended up on the cross which Thomas doesn’t believe because he was in charge of guarding the kidnapped Jesus. It is possible Jesus bi-located (masters can do this) to throw off this plan. Certainly both Mary’s saw Jesus on the cross…they would have recognized a fake Jesus.
What’s also interesting is the contempt that Thomas has for Peter in much of this book. To Thomas Peter is very dogmatic and overly critical of sex. Thomas was also not a fan of the essenes (which Peter was among), and was upset that apparently Joseph and Mary were kicked out of the essene community for minor rule violations.
Bruce MacDonald on the dictation of ACIM
https://web.archive.org/web/20210411093059/http://thomastwin.com/20%20A%20ACIM,%20Simon%20and%20Trinity.html
My Inner Guide tells me that A Course in Miracles was dictated by Simon Magus.The Bruce MacDonald Jesus provides detailed insight into ACIM
I dreamed I was in a house with many rooms. In them were people who had been turned into wooden statues, struggling to get out of their wooden confines. I knew immediately that they were living under a spell, so I went from room to room removing the spell “in the name of Jesus and of God.” Once the spell was removed, the people jumped up, looked around in a frightened way, realized they had been trapped in this house, and fled.
I then found the area in which the wizard put spells on people, his “workshop,” complete with intricately tangled paraphernalia hanging from the walls and ceiling. I cleansed the area of all psychic power and sealed it “in the name of Jesus and of God” so that the wizard would never again be able to entrap the unwary.
After I had completed this cleansing process, the wizard came into the entrance hallway where I stood. His face seemed familiar. I had thought this wizard would be frightening, but he was very friendly, with a round, smiling, jovial and pink face. He attempted, laughingly and in great good humour, to put a spell on me as well. I looked directly at him and, “in the name of Jesus and of God,” removed his power to cast spells.
That was the end of the dream. I have not met Gary Renard in the flesh but, when I woke, I realized the smiling man looked exactly like the pictures I had seen on his website.
The basic premise of the Course is that the world we experience is an illusion. This is similar to what Simon taught while alive. Simon Magus taught that Helen was an incarnation of the "thought of God," through which the angels were created. However, the angels, not God, then created the world. Since God did not create the world, it is an illusion. Simon taught that, to achieve salvation and union with God, it was necessary to realize that the world was not created by God but was an illusion created by the angels. Once his converts realized that, then the universe would disappear and they would experience oneness with God.
https://web.archive.org/web/20190718234659/http://thomastwin.com/21%20A%20Jesus,%20God%20and%20ACIM.html (scroll all the way down to “Yeshua said it would be best for him to start”)
Robert Perry asks Bruce to ask Jesus about the Course. He does and the answers are very interesting.
It’s too long to repost here, but this Jesus is largely critical of the Course. He states the real author was impersonating him (something other sources have said) and its teachings are mostly incorrect (eg the Course indicates God is very far away when he isn’t). This Jesus also cites some examples of the Course changing between third person, “we”, and “I” when referring to Jesus as evidence something is up. This Jesus also says that Gary was not Thomas, and that Pursah and Arten are not ascended masters. This Jesus also says Simon Magus was the real author of the Course.
This brings us back to the actual authors of ACIM. I have asserted through Bruce MacDonald elsewhere on this website that the book was written by a first century magician by the name of Simon Magus.Robert Perry did write a response to these critiques of the Course. In general he was dismissive: https://circleofa.org/library/response-bruce-macdonalds-views/
That is only partly accurate, of course. In the same way as Judas Thomas was the ego centre of a particular Individuality (Spiritual Centre of Consciousness) in the first century, and Bruce MacDonald is the incarnation of that same Individuality in the twentieth and twenty-first centuries, so Simon Magus and Gary Renard are the incarnations of a particular Individuality who is exploring the potential and the limits of the Docetic philosophy.
Individualities, Spirits, those centers of spiritual consciousness which are manifestations of the Divine Source, can choose to explore anything they wish – God has given them freedom to explore what they will.
It is technically this Individuality which is exploring Doceticism. It is this Spirit who developed the philosophy, partly in the incarnate state and partly between lives. The shorthand version of that is to say that Simon Magus developed the philosophy, since a major part of any of these explorations must take place in the body, and then, after developing and refining the philosophy further in the discarnate state, dictated it through Helen Schucman as A Course in Miracles.
Simon Magus was not the only one involved, but he was the primary focus of the Soul Group exploring the philosophy. And Gary Renard is not the only one involved in ACIM now, although he is the direct incarnation of what we can call the "Simon Magus Individuality." Ken Wapnick and a larger group of souls are also involved, although Renard is the present focus who will ultimately lead to its demise.
Bruce then responds to the response: https://web.archive.org/web/20210618175625/http://thomastwin.com/22%20A%20Reaction%20to%20ACIM.html
Conclusions:
All these crazy stories are enough to make one suspect of ANY divine revelation or channeled source. My personal opinion is that Gary Renard is not consciously deceiving his followers. But, he is getting guidance from incorporeal life forms who are NOT ascended masters and ARE interested in deception. In this sense Gary is more of a victim, but he does he deserves blame for not showing discernment. I’m sure there are many instances by which these “ascended masters” behaved strangely and showed red flags to Gary who I suspect is loath to reveal these publicly.
As for Bruce, I don’t know what to think. He came from a more orthodox christian background and this may have jaded his view on the Course. He does make mistakes. But some of what he says rings true.
I don’t think either was the real Thomas. Although I think the disciple Thomas might have been one of the entities that was communicating to Bruce.
2024.05.17 03:35 OrdinaryFallenAngel My NMom Doesn't Realize She's Outing Herself To Everyone. I Feel Oddly Good About It.
I lived my entire life with the notion that nobody was ever going to believe me simply because I was a child; people always made the assumption that higher authorities were always right, no matter what. Our parents were always right about us. I went through counseling centers to counseling centers to therapists to therapists with my dad at the forefront telling them everything I was doing, which NONE of it being true. He used to tell people I smashed things, screamed, had temper tantrums constantly, and absolutely none of it was true. My dad was trying to get me admitted as some crazy lunatic child. I am still convinced of that.
Well, now I feel a sense of "See? I'm not lying!"
I should emphasize that both my parents were abusers, but my mother was the Covert Narc. My dad was the more Authoritarian Narc. Two peas in a pod.
I started running a Facebook page for my artwork recently, about the beginning of last year. I post drawings and sometimes I sell my own products there because of an art show I actively take part in in town every summer. I interact with the kids by providing custom coloring pages and crayons and coloring with them.
My mom, despite being a complete covert narc who seriously gets on my nerves and has tormented my entire life since childhood, still associates with me and frankly, she's not AS bad on a good day. I don't nessessarily hate my mom, not like my dad. I detest my dad with every fiber of my being, but I don't hate my mom. She's a pain in the neck and I was neglected as a child, but as an adult I see it as child's play compared to what my dad did to me (I lived with my dad where the abuse mainly happened as my parents were divorced, my mom wasn't there) so I'm not as salty towards her. That being said, I still know she is a narc with narc patterns and she's a flat-out bully, and I get seriously sick of it.
The reason I bring up the whole Facebook page thing is because my mom has no idea how mean she truly sounds when criticizing my work. She does it openly, in the comments of my drawings, and honestly, it kinda pleases me. All of my friends, all the people who doubted me, everyone who truly doesn't know what I went through, gets to see it now.
There was one particular instance where I had uploaded a drawing a few months ago, one that I was incredibly proud of, and my mom made the first comment which was her strongly criticizing my artwork, claiming "I CAN'T EVEN SEE HER ARM, WHY DOES SHE LOOK LIKE THAT, IT'S ANNOYING". What I did not expect afterwards were multiple people who commented on the drawing at the same time complimenting it and saying they saw absolutely nothing wrong with the drawing, and they were confused as to what the problem was.
It actually got to a point where my mom was becoming angry because nobody was agreeing with her. She insisted there was a problem, and kept making fun of the drawing weeks later, jabbing about it towards me during outings. People were actively seeing her doing this to me.
Just today as well, there was a new drawing that I uploaded on to my Facebook page for my artwork, and my mom just did the same thing. She'd cracked a joke about a flaw in my drawing that, once again, everyone is going to see.
It honestly feels kind of good that my mom is openly outing herself as someone who is not a nice person. I don't know if this just seems petty, but now finally maybe for once I can actually be believed that my childhood was not the greatest. It was actually quite awful, and I can never take those years back.
I don't know. I oddly can't really complain about it.
submitted by OrdinaryFallenAngel to raisedbynarcissists [link] [comments]
Well, now I feel a sense of "See? I'm not lying!"
I should emphasize that both my parents were abusers, but my mother was the Covert Narc. My dad was the more Authoritarian Narc. Two peas in a pod.
I started running a Facebook page for my artwork recently, about the beginning of last year. I post drawings and sometimes I sell my own products there because of an art show I actively take part in in town every summer. I interact with the kids by providing custom coloring pages and crayons and coloring with them.
My mom, despite being a complete covert narc who seriously gets on my nerves and has tormented my entire life since childhood, still associates with me and frankly, she's not AS bad on a good day. I don't nessessarily hate my mom, not like my dad. I detest my dad with every fiber of my being, but I don't hate my mom. She's a pain in the neck and I was neglected as a child, but as an adult I see it as child's play compared to what my dad did to me (I lived with my dad where the abuse mainly happened as my parents were divorced, my mom wasn't there) so I'm not as salty towards her. That being said, I still know she is a narc with narc patterns and she's a flat-out bully, and I get seriously sick of it.
The reason I bring up the whole Facebook page thing is because my mom has no idea how mean she truly sounds when criticizing my work. She does it openly, in the comments of my drawings, and honestly, it kinda pleases me. All of my friends, all the people who doubted me, everyone who truly doesn't know what I went through, gets to see it now.
There was one particular instance where I had uploaded a drawing a few months ago, one that I was incredibly proud of, and my mom made the first comment which was her strongly criticizing my artwork, claiming "I CAN'T EVEN SEE HER ARM, WHY DOES SHE LOOK LIKE THAT, IT'S ANNOYING". What I did not expect afterwards were multiple people who commented on the drawing at the same time complimenting it and saying they saw absolutely nothing wrong with the drawing, and they were confused as to what the problem was.
It actually got to a point where my mom was becoming angry because nobody was agreeing with her. She insisted there was a problem, and kept making fun of the drawing weeks later, jabbing about it towards me during outings. People were actively seeing her doing this to me.
Just today as well, there was a new drawing that I uploaded on to my Facebook page for my artwork, and my mom just did the same thing. She'd cracked a joke about a flaw in my drawing that, once again, everyone is going to see.
It honestly feels kind of good that my mom is openly outing herself as someone who is not a nice person. I don't know if this just seems petty, but now finally maybe for once I can actually be believed that my childhood was not the greatest. It was actually quite awful, and I can never take those years back.
I don't know. I oddly can't really complain about it.
2024.05.17 02:42 Background_Job4867 Just had my first experience on AWDTSG
So the other week I matched with a girl off Hinge, we got on really well. She decided to give me her number yesterday and we got chatting on Whatsapp.
I posted a silly video of myself to her with food saying "are you jealous?" and her response was "who else do you send videos like that to?" At first I thought she was joking, it turned out she was serious and not happy.
We're both 30 years of age and this is teenage behaviour. We spoke about dating at 30 and how annoying dating is so I thought we got on well with that ironically enough. I just left it and told her I'm going to sleep after she was basically accusing me of sending videos to other girls, her attitude just changed after the video it was odd...
Anyway, today is when it all happened. She said she didn't appreciate my attitude, and I said I didn't really appreciate hers either. I then said that maybe this is why you're struggling to date in your 30's?. That was a low blow on my part I'll admit and it wasn't something I was proud of saying, however, we had the conversation about dating in our 30s beforehand so there was context. Anyway, she was obviously not happy with the response, got angry at me, and blocked me, so I thought whatever, but I was a bit sad about how it turned out.
Anyway... Hours later I got a message from some random woman and a screenshot containing this anonymous post on "Are We Dating The Same Guy" facebook group. This was with all my photos, the video, and it was saying "Watch out if you date (my name), he comes across nice then becomes extremely abusive". Now kudos to that woman who sent me it, I really appreciated it. My biggest concern, and hers (the reason she sent me it) is that she posted my phone number in the screenshots, as well as all my pictures, and left out the beginning of the conversation the part where she accused me of talking to other girls and just the part where I said that comment to her.
I had no idea these groups even existed, I just found out today and I'm flabbergasted to say the least... It's even put me off dating. I've now gone down a rabbit hole of reading all the stories about it and I just don't feel comfortable with dating anymore...
How is this stuff allowed or legal? Okay yes, I did make a mean comment which I wasn't proud of, but to post my phone number, name, and pictures in some facebook group anonymously doesn't sound right or moral? A group that has thousands of followers... Luckily I've not had any other messages from randomers, and I was even thinking of deactivating my LinkedIn, but then I realised I've not actually done anything wrong to be in trouble for that. I just find it really sick to be honest, is this what women do? It makes me think have I ever been posted before just for having an argument with someone? Is that all it takes? I just can't believe this is allowed, I don't appreciate having my personal info shared on a group without my consent where I can't defend myself.
I've asked her to take it down but she has blocked me, so there's nothing I can do about it.
submitted by Background_Job4867 to AWDTSGisToxic [link] [comments]
I posted a silly video of myself to her with food saying "are you jealous?" and her response was "who else do you send videos like that to?" At first I thought she was joking, it turned out she was serious and not happy.
We're both 30 years of age and this is teenage behaviour. We spoke about dating at 30 and how annoying dating is so I thought we got on well with that ironically enough. I just left it and told her I'm going to sleep after she was basically accusing me of sending videos to other girls, her attitude just changed after the video it was odd...
Anyway, today is when it all happened. She said she didn't appreciate my attitude, and I said I didn't really appreciate hers either. I then said that maybe this is why you're struggling to date in your 30's?. That was a low blow on my part I'll admit and it wasn't something I was proud of saying, however, we had the conversation about dating in our 30s beforehand so there was context. Anyway, she was obviously not happy with the response, got angry at me, and blocked me, so I thought whatever, but I was a bit sad about how it turned out.
Anyway... Hours later I got a message from some random woman and a screenshot containing this anonymous post on "Are We Dating The Same Guy" facebook group. This was with all my photos, the video, and it was saying "Watch out if you date (my name), he comes across nice then becomes extremely abusive". Now kudos to that woman who sent me it, I really appreciated it. My biggest concern, and hers (the reason she sent me it) is that she posted my phone number in the screenshots, as well as all my pictures, and left out the beginning of the conversation the part where she accused me of talking to other girls and just the part where I said that comment to her.
I had no idea these groups even existed, I just found out today and I'm flabbergasted to say the least... It's even put me off dating. I've now gone down a rabbit hole of reading all the stories about it and I just don't feel comfortable with dating anymore...
How is this stuff allowed or legal? Okay yes, I did make a mean comment which I wasn't proud of, but to post my phone number, name, and pictures in some facebook group anonymously doesn't sound right or moral? A group that has thousands of followers... Luckily I've not had any other messages from randomers, and I was even thinking of deactivating my LinkedIn, but then I realised I've not actually done anything wrong to be in trouble for that. I just find it really sick to be honest, is this what women do? It makes me think have I ever been posted before just for having an argument with someone? Is that all it takes? I just can't believe this is allowed, I don't appreciate having my personal info shared on a group without my consent where I can't defend myself.
I've asked her to take it down but she has blocked me, so there's nothing I can do about it.
2024.05.17 01:31 Common-Compote3949 The idea of chain of transmission in hadiths
 | Article: The idea of chain of transmission in hadiths submitted by Common-Compote3949 to islam [link] [comments] the recognition of fair historian non muslims : Asad Rustam - Orientalists: Margoliouth - Bernard Lewis!! (To read their confessions, you can go directly to the end of the article) In a scene some of you may have seen before: They come in a long line of people (for example, 20 or 30 individuals) with their backs to each others - then the first of them turns his back to the rest until one of the people tells him a simple story or shows him a simple movement (for example, as if he was getting up to sit on a motorcycle), Then he is asked to convey the simple story or simple movement to the one who After him - and the next to the next and so on to the last person in the line ـ And the surprise! : We notice the changes that occurred in the story or movement when it reached the last person - and here the ignorant atheists and deniers of the Sunnah shout with joy, saying: "See? This is a practical experience that you cannot deny that the idea of chain of transmission in hadiths is wrong and impossible!!" ـ The question is: This popular experience actually suits “the general public” in order to prove to them the possibility of the transmission of speech between them being wrong and inaccurate - but: Is “the science of hadith” in Islam and the Sunnah really like this?!! ـ The truth is: There are differences in every part of this example from ((the science of hadith))!! Let's count it together: ـ ـــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــ First: between the lay person and the muslim hadith narrator ـــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــ All the people in the long line: They are chosen from “the general public” in a random way, meaning: They have no relation to the science of hadith and do not worry about ((especially the conditions for accepting the chain of transmission)) - meaning: ـ We can do the same experiment to deny, for example, that (geometry) is important!! Or even (medicine)!! All you have to do is bring a group of random people and give them, for example, concrete, iron, and bricks. Then you ask them to build a building of 3 floors. Then, when the building is completed, you say: See, there is no point in studying engineering!!! ـ Or you give some ordinary and random people surgical, cutting and cutting tools, then you let them work on 10 patients under anesthesia to treat them, for example: Then when the patients die, you say with all pride: You see: there is no benefit in studying medicine!! ـ Now: What exactly happens in Hadith science? The answer: Each of the narrators (represented by a person in the line) will not stand in the line (i.e., his narration will not be accepted) unless his conduct is confirmed as: ـ 1- The name and circumstance are known (and ignorance of which makes the hadith weak or fabricated) 2 - Strong memorization at the time of hearing and at the time of reporting, with synonymous variations with the same meaning (because the hadith is not worshiped by its recitation like the Qur’an, so it is permissible to narrate it in the meaning) 3- His justice (i.e. he is not known to lie, betray, bear false witness, etc.) 4- Evidence that he was contemporaneous with at least one who heard from him, or they were both brought together in one city, or he declared that he had heard from those before him with the wording, he told us, or he narrated to us, or we heard. To the rest of these conditions for ruling on (the authenticity of the narrator’s acceptance of the chain of transmission) ـ The more difficult the conditions are, the more authentic the book of hadiths is than others (hence the preference for Sahih al-Bukhari, as we will talk about in an upcoming article, God willing, to demolish the lies about it as well). ـ All of this is known by the scholars of hadith (or scholars of the term hadith) from what they collected about the details of the lives of every companion, follower, follower of the follower, and narrators (which is what is called the translation of a person): such as the year of their birth and death - and at the hands of those who heard the knowledge and hadith - and from their students who heard from them after that. - Where did they travel - and when did they travel - and what were their morals and justice? - Or what was the injury to their morals and justice? - Did their memorization change as they grew older, for example, or not - and when exactly did this change in their memorization occur - and so on ـ This is what is called in Hadith science (Books of Biographies) or (Books of Jarh and Ta’deel) or (Ilm al-Rijal). The question again: Do we now see any relationship between that accuracy of science of hadith and the popular experience in which there is a row of random, unknown people who were not selected according to any criterion: neither in memorization, nor understanding, nor accuracy, nor knowledge, nor honesty?! ـ This means that if we wanted to apply (some) of the rules of hadith science to the experiment, before we chose the people in the class, we would first test: the strength of their memorization - and the accuracy of their verbal or motor performance!! Then we choose those who pass the test!! ـ ــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــ Second: The number of people and narrators!! ـــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــ In the popular experience, 20 or 30 and perhaps more people were included - while in the science of hadith, oral transmission ends as soon as it is written down - as long as it is written down, then it has been preserved in a book and the transmission process has ended. ـ This only follows the oral narrations - as it is known that there were companions who (wrote) hadiths in the life of the Prophet, may God bless him and grant him peace - such as our master Abdullah bin Amr bin Al-Aas - and we are also not talking about (the Qur’an) which Muslims recite as it is in their prayers five times a day. (In addition to standing, worshiping, Tarawih, etc.)!! Moreover, the Qur’an is written and preserved!! ـ Therefore, even the number of many people in the dozens in a row in the popular experience is not suitable for comparison in the science of hadith!! The longest chain of transmission for a hadith is only one hadith in Sahih al-Bukhari, consisting of 9 narrators (which is a hadith of woe to the Arabs)!! Most of the hadiths are less than that ـ It is enough for us to know that the first (collection) of written hadiths from the Companions and followers who were contemporary with the Companions was in the year 100 AH - at the instruction of the Commander of the Faithful, Omar bin Abdul Aziz, the fifth of the Rightly Guided Caliphs - and this hundred years is the death of the last companion of the Companions, who was (Amer bin Wathilah Al-Laithi - Abu Tufail). )!! ـ This means that if one of the scholars of that period narrated a hadith on the authority of Wathilah al-Laythi, on the authority of a companion older than him, on the authority of the Prophet: there would be no one between them!! It means a chain of transmission from one person, then the Prophet!! Thus, we see many chains of narration between its recording in the books of hadith and the Prophet having only two or three narrations (therefore, it is one of the most authentic and highest chains of narrations) - such as: - Al-Zuhri’s narration on the authority of Salem, on the authority of Ibn Omar, may God be pleased with him, on the authority of the Prophet!! And like the narration of Malik on the authority of Nafi’ on the authority of Ibn Omar, may God be pleased with him!! Imam Malik’s Muwatta was compiled in 158 AH!! This means that there is only 2 between him and the Prophet, may God bless him and grant him peace!! - Is there a comparison between that and a row of 20 or 30?!! By the way, most of Imam Malik’s Muwatta is found in the Musnad of Imam Ahmad and in the Sahih of Imam al-Bukhari, as we will see in an upcoming article. These are just some of the thousands of chains of narrations from the Followers and Companions on the authority of the Prophet, may God bless him and grant him peace!! Glory be to God Almighty - ـــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــ Third: The power of preserving the early Arabs ـــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــ It is what the Arab nation was famous for even before Islam - one of them used to memorize hundreds and thousands of verses of poetry!! They used to hold competitions in their most famous markets (such as Souq Okaz) - and the hospitality was as great as the seven well-known commentators. - This leads us to a question: How do those with poor memory today measure such abilities in themselves?! Is there any similarity between them and those Arabs with the ability to memorize most of them?!! Indeed, by God, most of us today hardly remember a phone number except our own phone!! If it increases, it may be one or two numbers with difficulty!! This is due to the feature of saving numbers in our mobile phones - but before the spread of these mobile phones: most of us used to save at least 20 landline numbers, for example, for our phone and the phones of our family, friends, and work!! ـ The need to memorize is what stimulates and activates the memorization parts of the brain - and the Arab and Bedouin in ancient times used to walk in deserts extending for hundreds of kilometers, and he must memorize the routes of walking in them with every precision and every detail, no matter how small, otherwise the sand will swallow him - or he will get lost and die of thirst or burn under the flames of the sun. !! ـ ـــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــ Fourth: The importance of the topic ـــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــ Of course, there is a difference between 20 or 30 random people who may not have a specific lofty goal or sacred duty, such as reporting on the Prophet, may God bless him and grant him peace, in common - unlike the science of hadith, which creates a religious and doctrinal motivation within each narrator to increase concentration, memorization, and attention to the highest levels - and out of hope for the Prophet’s promise. Peace be upon him : - ((May God bless a person who hears a hadith from us and memorizes it until someone else conveys it. Perhaps he carries jurisprudence to someone who is more knowledgeable than him, and perhaps he carries jurisprudence and is not a jurist.)) Narrated by Al-Tirmidhi and others with an authentic chain of transmission. - Likewise, fear of the threat of the Prophet, may God bless him and grant him peace: ((Lying about me is not the same as lying about anyone else. Whoever lies about me intentionally, let him take his seat in Hell)) Narrated by Al-Bukhari and others with an authentic chain of transmission. - Therefore, we are not surprised that, to this day - in addition to the annual Qur’an memorization competitions (and this alone is a miracle that we did not talk about): there are competitions for memorizing the entire six or nine books of hadith!! It means support and text!! And from whom? From children under the age of eleven and fifteen!! - (The six hadith books: Sahih Al-Bukhari - Sahih Muslim - Sunan Al-Tirmidhi - Sunan Al-Nasa’i - Sunan Ibn Majah - Sunan Abi Dawud) and the nine additional books (Muwatta’ of Imam Malik - Musnad of Imam Ahmad - Sunan Al-Darimi) - Glory be to Him, the Guide, Glory be to Him, who facilitates the memorization of religious texts - ــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــ Fifth: What did the fair non muslim people say about the science of hadith?! ــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــ And here we mean non-Muslims (especially Christians) - who (and some of you may be shocked by this information): They do not have the original text of the Gospels as spoken by Jesus, peace be upon him!! Since the oldest 4 Gospels were approved by the Council of Nicaea in 235 AD and the rest were burned: they were written in Greek!! While Jesus, peace be upon him, spoke Hebrew or Aramaic!! ــ This is a big point and question mark in the face of the “Formation of Atheists” Foundation, led by Ibrahim Issa, for its attempt to cast doubt on the Sunnah and Islamic history!! Where, as is the custom of atheists and their selectivity: he tries to butt the mountain of steadfast and solid hadith in which every word has an authentic or weak chain of narration!! He leaves out the Christian Gospels, which do not even qualify as “the story of the life of Christ,” peace be upon him!! There are no chains of narration in it at all (neither authentic nor weak) ـ The meaning, in more detail, is that the 4 official Christian Gospels are of unknown lineage and the status of the writers (Matthew, Luke, John, and Mark). Therefore, they do not even qualify to be compared to the books of the Sunnah, Hadith, and Biography (although our Biography books are much weaker than the Hadith books), but at least they have chains of narration. We judge from it whether it is strong or weak - and it is mentioned in it who is narrating from whom!!) ـ Thus, we confirm the orientation of an atheistic institution such as (Takween) and that it was not supported externally or internally except to fight Islam only!! Therefore, there is no surprise if among its members is the priest Rifaat Fikri... whose job is to try to polish Christianity after the atheists who are with him question Islam!! - Christian historian: Asad Rustam He is the first one we will mention quickly: he is a Lebanese Christian doctor and historian - who worked as a professor of Arab history at the American University of Beirut - and who holds a doctorate in history from the University of Chicago - he says: - ((Hadith: knowledge and narration History: knowledge and narration: So we have a term for history, just as hadith scholars have a term for hadith!! This is from the introduction to his book ((The Concept of History)) - The historian doctor called in his book and his long scientific career that it is time for the science of history to be disciplined in its narration - and for precise and decisive rules to be established for accepting transmission, just as the Muslims did in the science of hadith, which he described as: ((A modern scientific method: to correct news and narrations))!! - Then comes an ignorant person like Ibrahim Issa, who makes a mistake in every two words he says about the Sunnah, biography, or history - and as he did in his first video at the Takween Foundation (watch Dr. Haitham Talaat’s video: Enlightenment by forgery Ibrahim Issa and questioning the Prophet’s biography). We will put his link in the comments. ـ Indeed, Asad Rustam says more clearly: ((Among what Farid mentions with admiration and appreciation is what hadith scholars have reached hundreds of years ago in this regard, and here is some of what was stated in their works, which we present verbatim and to the letter, in acknowledgment of their scientific scrutiny, and in recognition of their credit to history))!! - Glory be to God Almighty The thing that atheists and deniers of the Sunnah do not stop at because of their extreme ignorance is that “the science of hadith” in Islam is a unique science that has not existed in any nation before!! Indeed, all the famous historians in the world were just telling stories: we do not even know enough information about the historians themselves (truthful - lying - learned - ignorant) - and perhaps Herodotus is the best example of this and the funny wonders that his writings contain (such as what he reported about the reason for the color of Negroes by The Abyssinian sperm is black!! ـ Rather: All the narrations of history are whose authors or recorders are unknown, whether in what we find in manuscripts or on walls and temples!! Did they believe it? Did they lie? Did they exaggerate? Who are they even?! no one knows !! ـ As for Islam: it is never like this, thanks to God This is because when God Almighty promised to memorize the Qur’an: it was logical for him to inspire Muslims to memorize the clear Sunnah of the Qur’an, as we said before!! Prayer is mentioned in the Qur’an and the Prophet explained and performed it. How will it reach Muslims over hundreds of years if it is not made easy for Muslims to memorize the Sunnah orally and in writing?!ــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــ Orientalist Margoliouth ــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــ This man, David Samuel Margoliouth, did not leave anything in Islam without trying to cast doubt on it, even literature and history. However, despite his lying to distort the Sunnah sometimes, his scholarly standing refused to admit the truth reluctantly, so as not to lose the trust of his students and followers in him!! - He says :But though the theory of the Isnad has occasioned endless trouble, owing to the inquiries which have to be made into the trustworthiness of each transmitter, and the fabrication of traditions was a familiar and at times easily tolerated practice, its value in making for accuracy cannot be questioned, and the Muslims are justified in taking pride in their science of tradition. source: David Samuel Margoliouth - Lectures on Arabic Historians - 1929 - p.20 ـ ــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــ orientalist Bernard Lewis ـــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــ He is a British-American honorary professor of Middle Eastern studies - and a famous thinker, writer, and orientalist (who came up with the idea of dividing the new Middle East) - he says: ((Early on: Islamic scholars realized the danger of false testimonies and corrupt doctrines, so they developed a science for criticizing hadiths and heritage, which is (the science of hadith) as it was called.. - It differs for many considerations from the science of modern historical criticism!! While modern studies have proven a constant difference in evaluating the authenticity and accuracy of ancient narratives (i.e. in non-Islamic narratives): we find that a careful examination of it (i.e. the science of hadith) with its attention to the chains of transmission and chain of transmission and its careful collection and preservation of variables in the transmitted narrative gives medieval Arab history professionalism and development. Never before in ancient times!! Without even finding anything like it in the West in the Middle Ages at that time!! ـ When comparing it (i.e. the science of hadith among Muslims) with Latin Christian history: the latter appears poor and weak!! Even the most advanced and complex methods of history in the Greek Christian world are still less than the historical works of Islam in terms of total diversity, volume and depth of analysis!! ـ Original text : From an early date Muslim scholars recognized the danger of false testimony and hence false doctrine, and developed an elaborate science for criticizing tradition. " Traditional science", as it was called, differed in many respects from modern historical source criticism, and modern scholarship has always disagreed with evaluations of traditional scientists about the authenticity and accuracy of ancient narratives. But their careful scrutiny of the chains of transmission and their meticulous collection and preservation of variants in the transmitted narratives give to medieval Arabic historiography a professionalism and sophistication without precedent in antiquity and without parallel in the contemporary medieval West. By comparison, the historiography of Latin Christendom seems poor and meagre, and even the more advanced and complex historiography of Greek Christendom still falls short of the historical literature of Islam in volume, variety and analytical depth. ـ source: Bernard Lewis, Islam In History, 1993, Open Court Publishing, pp.104-105 ـ ــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــ We will suffice with this amount so as not to prolong it Especially after Bernard Lewis's last statement and his comparison of the knowledge of hadith and its accuracy in Islam: with the poor Latin Christian history!! Will the atheist (free thinkers) inspire us in (Genesis): By directing some of their outstanding geniuses to criticize the weariness of the Gospels and Christian books?! Or is the guidance and support, as we said, intended to fight Islam only?! By al behthoon al moslimoon https://www.facebook.com/share/p/5ouyZegF3dktRoTv/?mibextid=qi2Omg |
2024.05.17 01:21 Informer_Snow664 Serge Del Mar aka Serge Gil, and SPTV
Link to earlier post.
Before getting into the meat of this post, it needs to be remembered that the ex-Scientologists named here are actual victims of the Church of Scientology. Nothing in this post is meant to deny that fact.
However, let's remember too, those being attacked by Aaron Smith-Levin and their new brand of Scientology-style attacks, are also victims of Scientology.
The cruelty directed at Mike Rinder, Claire Headley, Tony Ortega, Chris Shelton, Leah Remini, Stefani Hutchinson, the Aftermath Foundation and those who speak out against SPTV's excesses are not justified. There has been a strain of "both sides" about this. Defending oneself against slander is not the same thing as initiating slander, which is how this all started. Telling the truth in response to SPTV creator attacks is not the same thing as a Fair Game campaign against them.
It doesn't bring me any joy to write these posts, but these things need to be known because the number of distortions and fabrications coming out of the SPTV creators is reaching a fever pitch and it needs to stop.
My earlier two posts focused mainly on Chrissie Bixler, Jane Doe 1 (from the Masterson trials) and Aaron Smith-Levin, all of whom have been working together in a tight, hidden conspiracy to attack anyone who could expose them or their agendas, and/or anyone who opposes their slanderous and vicious attacks. They are in fact acting as Scientology does, following L. Ron's directions to hunt those people down and attempt to ruin them.
Unfortunately, the SPTV cabal is not just these three mentioned above. There are others who have also jumped on this bandwagon of Scientology-like attacks. From the outside, none of these people's "content" is any different from what the Church of Scientology produces through its STAND League and other OSA-front group social media accounts. If OSA had a video channel, it would look almost exactly like SPTV.
So let's take a look at Serge Del Mar, formerly known as Serge Gil. If you Google "Serge Gil" you will find photos of him hanging around with the Mastersons and other VIP Scientologists as recently as November of 2014 at an art exhibit Serge participated in. This was while he was still in the cult, of course, but it sure is odd that he never mentions this.
Funny too that this group of "innocents" all have taken to going after whistle blowers who are out, and not admitting to anything they did while they were Scientologists and Sea Organisation members. Serge becomes visibly and loudly unhinged over the idea that Mike Rinder was once the head of OSA and therefore "must know" every single secret and crime ever perpetrated in Scientology. Yet he claims perfect innocence when it comes to his Scientology history. But how is that possible when he perpetuated Scientology's abuse on children in a much more direct and forceful way than Mike Rinder ever could: Serge audited children and was apparently paid handsomely for it. Auditing is, of course, Scientology's warped and twisted idea of counselling.
In this article from Tony Ortega, it reads: "In his Facebook post, Serge talked about the horror of having men admit to having sex with children, and being instructed to get even more information from such confessors, who were then simply charged even more [money] to 'handle' their paedophilia.
"We were made to sit in that Fort Harrison hotel day in and day out interrogating people to see what they had done. Our interviews were always closely watched [and] monitored by several ‘terminals.’ All the CSes [case supervisors] and tech ‘executives’ became willing in colluding and becoming 100 percent complicit with this sexually inappropriate environment for any one under the age of 18."
"Self-confessed paedophiles could just magically ‘address’ this behavior with auditing — all the while you were looking at ways to monetize at every opportunity' he says, accusing Scientology executives of looking for ways to turn confessions into more auditing and more money."
So who were these paedophiles and why aren't they being reported to the police? Why is Serge not talking about them? Why is he instead negating what he did and laughing about it in live streams with Nora, where they forgive and forget easily when it comes to their own bad behaviour in the cult. How come they get a free pass but no one else outside of SPTV does?
Serge engages in hypocrisy at a level that would put politicians and cult leaders to shame.
Recently, Serge added Leah Remini's name to his hit list by claiming Remini told him that she wanted nothing to do with helping children of the Sea Organisation. He actually said that about the woman who produced an the documentary series which gave Serge and the other "Scientology children" a voice on an international stage, something none of them were able to accomplish on their own.
Some facts from the past need to be brought forward.
First, it was Leah Remini who was trying to help all of the ex-Scientology "kids" to help find legal representation. This was the group Serge Del MaSerge Gil proclaimed he was the leader of, saying he was the "voice of many." He claimed he would be bringing the clients and the documentation to Kent's law firm.
Remini was introduced to Brian Kent by A&E. Right after the end of the Aftermath's finale, Kent's law firm was the only one willing to take on this massive case. Is A&E now going to be attacked by this group? Where are the tweets directed at A&E? Not that I am suggesting that. It is just to prove the facts here are consistently twisted to suit this group’s goal and it has nothing to do with exposing the crimes committed by Scientologists and Scientology.
This is about getting anyone who isn’t them.
Second and more importantly, it was Serge who then ran with this and gathered claimants for this case, and it was Serge that then introduced them all to Kent's firm. Christi Gordon was also working on this case. It was a noble effort. Leah, Serge and Christi did not do anything wrong,but somehow now Leah is a bad person for having tried to help.
Obviously, no one was aware at that time of what the future would hold for Jane Doe and Kent. No one still knows what happened with these cases - because Serge Del Mar was the ringleader. No mention of this from Alex the silly Wabbit. No mention of this from anyone. And obviously once Kent's law firm was hired, Leah and Mike would not have been privy to any privileged information about the cases.
Then Aaron and crew claim they uncovered this alleged crime committed by Kent? Kent isn’t being accused of crimes of child molestation, or of rape. He is being accused of unethical behaviour with an adult victim - and yes, that is bad enough. But it was Jane Doe in this case that had to summon the courage to file a confidential complaint. Aaron and his gang didn’t uncover and report anything. What they did do was compromise a bar investigation; they took credit for something they had nothing to do with. This is simply despicable behaviour. How this group has completely fabricated the facts of the investigation is beyond me.
They didn't even talk to the person who filed the complaint against Brian Kent. They were too busy stabbing her in the back, compromising her identity and forwarding a confidential document. Aaron conveniently didn’t mention this was a confidential investigation and document when he read it out to his audience. That's how Aaron makes a living.
Anyone continuing this story and celebrating these people are only doing so for other reasons that have nothing to do with the Jane Doe in this case. It is not only unfortunate that Jane Doe in this case had been harmed by Kent, but now these SPTV creators are harming her and her investigation too.
As a Scientology "activist," every action Serge claims he has taken against Scientology has been a major failure. If you step back and look at his track record, Serge has not accomplished a single thing against his former “church” of any significance, unless you count minutes of time shouting into a microphone at highest-ever decibels as 'activism.' It's not. It's just shouting into a microphone. He constantly claims that he has receipts, lawsuits are imminent, but with nothing forthcoming it sure seems as though Serge Del MaSerge Gil is nothing more than a con man looking for clicks for which he can profit.
Even more strangely, Serge's first attempt at fame was spending many years attacking former high-ranking Sea Organisation member Debbie Cook. Remember her? She was the one who got more people out of Scientology with her blistering 2011 New Year email than any former member before her. Debbie Cook was a whistle blower. And Serge seems to be going after those who did/do the work and are OUT of Scientology - excluding himself of course. Why not expose the crimes they covered up while they were in the cult? Aaron tearfully admitted to committing his own heinous crimes once, but somehow he is instantly forgiven.
Serge's criminal complaint against Scientology in Florida went nowhere and the investigation was dropped due to a lack of evidence. In fact, Serge told lies in his police filing, such as claiming that there are tunnels underneath The Fort Harrison Hotel (Scientology’s Clearwater Florida location) which are used to traffic Scientology children.
These days he goes on and on about "the hotels" where supposedly children are kept as sex slaves, a claim so preposterous even ex-Scientologists are fed up with hearing it.
Serge Del MaSerge Gil has promised to bring lawsuits against Scientology and continues to disseminate that he "has receipts" but again, not once has he ever been able to produce a shred of evidence or anything real. His incompetence and ineffectiveness are obvious, which is why the only way he can remain in the spotlight is to attack inwardly against the people who are getting the real work done.
For Serge (and the rest), it's the spotlight that is important, not the actual work.
Serge, Aaron, Chrissie Bixler, Jane Doe 1, Mike Brown, Miriam Francis, Nora Aames and the following are on a campaign to destroy their own credibility in the real world. One can only wonder if they are also getting a kick-back from Scientology.
Liz Gale has seemingly banished herself after being exposed and has all but disappeared, which of course is being blamed on RindeRemini/Hutchinson.
Christie Gordon too has disappeared from the SPTV Foundation board. Why hasn't she spoken up? Isn't she part of the crew demanding others own what they did? Why hasn't she done so when it comes to her own group's activities?
Joey Chait who was on board for the SPTV fake foundation, is now off too and no one knows why.
What has the Aftermath done? Helped people to get out of Scientology. That is the work.
What has SPTV Inc. done to help victims of Scientology? How about showing it? I have previously asked for evidence of any effective work and have yet to receive a response.
It's time for Serge (and the rest) to put up or shut up. If he or anyone in this group has real evidence of Scientology crimes, he has a solicitor and he can file a lawsuit in civil court or he can go back to the Clearwater Police and show them evidence of the crimes committed against him.
I'm not saying that crimes were not committed against Serge by others when he was in the Sea Org. But screaming into a microphone for hours isn't how to bring Scientology to justice. Screaming at law enforcement who have no idea what he is talking about with Flag and children is not helping anyone, nor is stalking and harassing Scientology's attorneys while Leah Remini's hearings are going on.
It looks an awful lot like the SPTV crew are trapped in some kind of victim complex and are high-conflict personalities.
So instead of more name calling, if Serge (or anyone in this group), "has receipts" that show that Mike Rinder is a criminal who is knowingly covering up his crimes in Scientology, produce them or shut up already. Rinder handed over his OSA documents. Aaron, by the way, took those documents under false pretenses, promised not to forward them and then did with the intent to harm Rinder and others. So instead of attacking Mike Rinder (the whistleblower here), where are the questions to the FBI for not acting on them? Where is the outrage for the documents that are authored by OSA personnel that are still in Scientology?
Personally, I'm sick of watching this crazy train go on and on without end just so some former Scientologists can try to appear altruist and inflate their egos for profit. Aren’t you all sick of the noise?
More to come.
submitted by Informer_Snow664 to SPTV_Unvarnished [link] [comments]
Before getting into the meat of this post, it needs to be remembered that the ex-Scientologists named here are actual victims of the Church of Scientology. Nothing in this post is meant to deny that fact.
However, let's remember too, those being attacked by Aaron Smith-Levin and their new brand of Scientology-style attacks, are also victims of Scientology.
The cruelty directed at Mike Rinder, Claire Headley, Tony Ortega, Chris Shelton, Leah Remini, Stefani Hutchinson, the Aftermath Foundation and those who speak out against SPTV's excesses are not justified. There has been a strain of "both sides" about this. Defending oneself against slander is not the same thing as initiating slander, which is how this all started. Telling the truth in response to SPTV creator attacks is not the same thing as a Fair Game campaign against them.
It doesn't bring me any joy to write these posts, but these things need to be known because the number of distortions and fabrications coming out of the SPTV creators is reaching a fever pitch and it needs to stop.
My earlier two posts focused mainly on Chrissie Bixler, Jane Doe 1 (from the Masterson trials) and Aaron Smith-Levin, all of whom have been working together in a tight, hidden conspiracy to attack anyone who could expose them or their agendas, and/or anyone who opposes their slanderous and vicious attacks. They are in fact acting as Scientology does, following L. Ron's directions to hunt those people down and attempt to ruin them.
Unfortunately, the SPTV cabal is not just these three mentioned above. There are others who have also jumped on this bandwagon of Scientology-like attacks. From the outside, none of these people's "content" is any different from what the Church of Scientology produces through its STAND League and other OSA-front group social media accounts. If OSA had a video channel, it would look almost exactly like SPTV.
So let's take a look at Serge Del Mar, formerly known as Serge Gil. If you Google "Serge Gil" you will find photos of him hanging around with the Mastersons and other VIP Scientologists as recently as November of 2014 at an art exhibit Serge participated in. This was while he was still in the cult, of course, but it sure is odd that he never mentions this.
Funny too that this group of "innocents" all have taken to going after whistle blowers who are out, and not admitting to anything they did while they were Scientologists and Sea Organisation members. Serge becomes visibly and loudly unhinged over the idea that Mike Rinder was once the head of OSA and therefore "must know" every single secret and crime ever perpetrated in Scientology. Yet he claims perfect innocence when it comes to his Scientology history. But how is that possible when he perpetuated Scientology's abuse on children in a much more direct and forceful way than Mike Rinder ever could: Serge audited children and was apparently paid handsomely for it. Auditing is, of course, Scientology's warped and twisted idea of counselling.
In this article from Tony Ortega, it reads: "In his Facebook post, Serge talked about the horror of having men admit to having sex with children, and being instructed to get even more information from such confessors, who were then simply charged even more [money] to 'handle' their paedophilia.
"We were made to sit in that Fort Harrison hotel day in and day out interrogating people to see what they had done. Our interviews were always closely watched [and] monitored by several ‘terminals.’ All the CSes [case supervisors] and tech ‘executives’ became willing in colluding and becoming 100 percent complicit with this sexually inappropriate environment for any one under the age of 18."
"Self-confessed paedophiles could just magically ‘address’ this behavior with auditing — all the while you were looking at ways to monetize at every opportunity' he says, accusing Scientology executives of looking for ways to turn confessions into more auditing and more money."
So who were these paedophiles and why aren't they being reported to the police? Why is Serge not talking about them? Why is he instead negating what he did and laughing about it in live streams with Nora, where they forgive and forget easily when it comes to their own bad behaviour in the cult. How come they get a free pass but no one else outside of SPTV does?
Serge engages in hypocrisy at a level that would put politicians and cult leaders to shame.
Recently, Serge added Leah Remini's name to his hit list by claiming Remini told him that she wanted nothing to do with helping children of the Sea Organisation. He actually said that about the woman who produced an the documentary series which gave Serge and the other "Scientology children" a voice on an international stage, something none of them were able to accomplish on their own.
Some facts from the past need to be brought forward.
First, it was Leah Remini who was trying to help all of the ex-Scientology "kids" to help find legal representation. This was the group Serge Del MaSerge Gil proclaimed he was the leader of, saying he was the "voice of many." He claimed he would be bringing the clients and the documentation to Kent's law firm.
Remini was introduced to Brian Kent by A&E. Right after the end of the Aftermath's finale, Kent's law firm was the only one willing to take on this massive case. Is A&E now going to be attacked by this group? Where are the tweets directed at A&E? Not that I am suggesting that. It is just to prove the facts here are consistently twisted to suit this group’s goal and it has nothing to do with exposing the crimes committed by Scientologists and Scientology.
This is about getting anyone who isn’t them.
Second and more importantly, it was Serge who then ran with this and gathered claimants for this case, and it was Serge that then introduced them all to Kent's firm. Christi Gordon was also working on this case. It was a noble effort. Leah, Serge and Christi did not do anything wrong,but somehow now Leah is a bad person for having tried to help.
Obviously, no one was aware at that time of what the future would hold for Jane Doe and Kent. No one still knows what happened with these cases - because Serge Del Mar was the ringleader. No mention of this from Alex the silly Wabbit. No mention of this from anyone. And obviously once Kent's law firm was hired, Leah and Mike would not have been privy to any privileged information about the cases.
Then Aaron and crew claim they uncovered this alleged crime committed by Kent? Kent isn’t being accused of crimes of child molestation, or of rape. He is being accused of unethical behaviour with an adult victim - and yes, that is bad enough. But it was Jane Doe in this case that had to summon the courage to file a confidential complaint. Aaron and his gang didn’t uncover and report anything. What they did do was compromise a bar investigation; they took credit for something they had nothing to do with. This is simply despicable behaviour. How this group has completely fabricated the facts of the investigation is beyond me.
They didn't even talk to the person who filed the complaint against Brian Kent. They were too busy stabbing her in the back, compromising her identity and forwarding a confidential document. Aaron conveniently didn’t mention this was a confidential investigation and document when he read it out to his audience. That's how Aaron makes a living.
Anyone continuing this story and celebrating these people are only doing so for other reasons that have nothing to do with the Jane Doe in this case. It is not only unfortunate that Jane Doe in this case had been harmed by Kent, but now these SPTV creators are harming her and her investigation too.
As a Scientology "activist," every action Serge claims he has taken against Scientology has been a major failure. If you step back and look at his track record, Serge has not accomplished a single thing against his former “church” of any significance, unless you count minutes of time shouting into a microphone at highest-ever decibels as 'activism.' It's not. It's just shouting into a microphone. He constantly claims that he has receipts, lawsuits are imminent, but with nothing forthcoming it sure seems as though Serge Del MaSerge Gil is nothing more than a con man looking for clicks for which he can profit.
Even more strangely, Serge's first attempt at fame was spending many years attacking former high-ranking Sea Organisation member Debbie Cook. Remember her? She was the one who got more people out of Scientology with her blistering 2011 New Year email than any former member before her. Debbie Cook was a whistle blower. And Serge seems to be going after those who did/do the work and are OUT of Scientology - excluding himself of course. Why not expose the crimes they covered up while they were in the cult? Aaron tearfully admitted to committing his own heinous crimes once, but somehow he is instantly forgiven.
Serge's criminal complaint against Scientology in Florida went nowhere and the investigation was dropped due to a lack of evidence. In fact, Serge told lies in his police filing, such as claiming that there are tunnels underneath The Fort Harrison Hotel (Scientology’s Clearwater Florida location) which are used to traffic Scientology children.
These days he goes on and on about "the hotels" where supposedly children are kept as sex slaves, a claim so preposterous even ex-Scientologists are fed up with hearing it.
Serge Del MaSerge Gil has promised to bring lawsuits against Scientology and continues to disseminate that he "has receipts" but again, not once has he ever been able to produce a shred of evidence or anything real. His incompetence and ineffectiveness are obvious, which is why the only way he can remain in the spotlight is to attack inwardly against the people who are getting the real work done.
For Serge (and the rest), it's the spotlight that is important, not the actual work.
Serge, Aaron, Chrissie Bixler, Jane Doe 1, Mike Brown, Miriam Francis, Nora Aames and the following are on a campaign to destroy their own credibility in the real world. One can only wonder if they are also getting a kick-back from Scientology.
Liz Gale has seemingly banished herself after being exposed and has all but disappeared, which of course is being blamed on RindeRemini/Hutchinson.
Christie Gordon too has disappeared from the SPTV Foundation board. Why hasn't she spoken up? Isn't she part of the crew demanding others own what they did? Why hasn't she done so when it comes to her own group's activities?
Joey Chait who was on board for the SPTV fake foundation, is now off too and no one knows why.
What has the Aftermath done? Helped people to get out of Scientology. That is the work.
What has SPTV Inc. done to help victims of Scientology? How about showing it? I have previously asked for evidence of any effective work and have yet to receive a response.
It's time for Serge (and the rest) to put up or shut up. If he or anyone in this group has real evidence of Scientology crimes, he has a solicitor and he can file a lawsuit in civil court or he can go back to the Clearwater Police and show them evidence of the crimes committed against him.
I'm not saying that crimes were not committed against Serge by others when he was in the Sea Org. But screaming into a microphone for hours isn't how to bring Scientology to justice. Screaming at law enforcement who have no idea what he is talking about with Flag and children is not helping anyone, nor is stalking and harassing Scientology's attorneys while Leah Remini's hearings are going on.
It looks an awful lot like the SPTV crew are trapped in some kind of victim complex and are high-conflict personalities.
So instead of more name calling, if Serge (or anyone in this group), "has receipts" that show that Mike Rinder is a criminal who is knowingly covering up his crimes in Scientology, produce them or shut up already. Rinder handed over his OSA documents. Aaron, by the way, took those documents under false pretenses, promised not to forward them and then did with the intent to harm Rinder and others. So instead of attacking Mike Rinder (the whistleblower here), where are the questions to the FBI for not acting on them? Where is the outrage for the documents that are authored by OSA personnel that are still in Scientology?
Personally, I'm sick of watching this crazy train go on and on without end just so some former Scientologists can try to appear altruist and inflate their egos for profit. Aren’t you all sick of the noise?
More to come.
2024.05.17 01:10 Uddinina Cassandra is...the gaylors!
 | Ok, I've already written a summary of my thoughts in the theories thread, but I was suggested to expand the discourse a bit and make a larger post. This is my first one, and I'll try to do my best. submitted by Uddinina to GaylorSwift [link] [comments] In summary: I think that "Cassandra" might be about the failed coming out and gaylors. This is why the idea started growing on me: A sentence during a casual listening struck me: You can mark my words that I said it first In a morning warning, no one heard And then again: In a morning warning, no one heard No one heard Not a single word was heard And my mind just jumped to that Chely Wright's interview on the CNN, when the YNTCD video had just released and she is saying that Taylor "changes and saves lifes" with this loud act. It's 9 am and the CNN had called Chely that morning to talk about the video that Taylor had just launched. She was not a random choice: she came out and the music industry tried to destroy her, she made the famous "blender speech" and in this community many of us believe that she was aware the steps Taylor was taking in order to finally come out (thanks to periwinkle and especially this post, where you can dive a bit into the signals our Anti-Hero has sent and set free in the world). I think it is now general (gaylor) knowledge that TTPD is connected with 2019 and the failed coming out. We have recalls to Lover (the album) lyrics and the visuals in the Tour dedicated to TTPD seem to confirm this theory. Just look at TSMWEL, the jacket she wears, the drums...all seem to point to the ME! music video and other performances: The BBMAs performance TSMWEL - \"...rusting my sparkling summer was the goal...you crashed my party...\" (and took away the colours from ME!) But let's have a look to the lyrics, to see if what I'm saying makes sense: I was in my new house placing daydreams Patching up the crack along the wall She is preparing/repairing a new house: is it the original Lover house, as it was intended? Not one of comphet, not a place where to hide, but a welcoming place. Is she daydreaming of opening the doors for all her friends (it's her place, she'll make the call), once it's complete? This doesn't feel like a house she'll eventually want to burn down at all... I pass it and lose track of what I'm saying 'Cause that's where I was when I got the call The first thought goest directly to the infamous call and the cancellation. But what if this is a red herring and the call is the one announcing her masters have been sold to SC? When the first stone's thrown, there's screaming In the streets, there's a raging riot When it's "Burn the bitch, " they're shrieking When the truth comes out, it's quiet So, they killed Cassandra first 'cause she feared the worst And tried to tell the town So, they filled my cell with snakes, I regret to say Here she's painting a scene before our eyes: we see a furious mob, but when it's revealed that the victim was innocent, nobody is willing to acknowledge they were wrong. This is the premise that introduces the murder of Cassandra: they attacked her ferociously because she was the one who, as the myth explains, was able to see the truth but wasn't trusted. Cassandra knew that the coming out was going to happen, because she could see the signs and was telling everybody about Taylor's queerness. The way gaylors are silenced by homophobes is known: they are cruel. They arrived at the point of doxxing closeted people and outing them to their families (even if this hadn't happened yet, at the time). But here she says Cassandra/the gaylors feared the worst: were they worried, apart from the excitement, because they knew what she would have to face? And then she backed off beacuse of...probably more than one reason (the first one being obviously the master heist) and we'll probably never know the whole story. But she did, and she was left with the snakes. Again: this seems to recall the cancellation, but why can't it explain her regrets and also the new problems she had to face? Do you believe me now? I was in my tower weaving nightmares Twisting all my smiles into snarls They say, "What doesn't kill you makes you aware" What happens if it becomes who you are? But when she'll come out -or even now, that the flagging is so wild, that TTPD is full of queer themes- does the mob believe her? Which will be the point they will start to see and believe? The welcoming house has become a tower full of nightmares. What didn't kill her has become who she is now: the failed coming out lead to a super heterosexual Taylor (where this just means super closeted). So, they set my life in flames, I regret to say Do you believe me now? They knew, they knew, they knew the whole time That I was onto something The family, the pure greed, the Christian chorus line They all said nothing Blood's thick but nothing like a payroll Bet they never spared a prayer for my soul And here I just see images of people/reasons forcing her in the closet: the family (a-ehm...Scott...coff coff...), fame and religion. They knew she was devastated, but didn't say anything, not even a prayer for her suffering soul (which, by the way, reminds me of the verse in TYA: "in your mind, you never beat my spirit black and blue", even if I think it's about another story). You can mark my words that I said it first In a morning warning, no one heard I patched up the crack along the wall I pass it and lose track of what I'm saying 'Cause that's where I was when I lost it all And this is the part that clicked when I was listening to this song: in a morning warning, no one heard. That morning, when Chely was interviewed by the CNN, no one (from the mob) was able to catch the real meaning of what was happening. She was telling the whole world, but she was left in the house alone, where she could just keep on patching the cracks, because they weren't ready to enter. She lost track of what she was saying, so she didn't say it anymore, and lost it all. Another important thing to notice: Taylor lets us know that she "said it firts". She was flagging: Cassandra (the gaylors) just collected all the clues and ended up being an innocent victim, targeted by the angry mob. She took all the blows for her, but Cassandra was right. Here it is... It's been quite an effort, because English is not my first language, so please ignore all the mistakes you will surely find here: I just hope that what I mean is clear. If not, please, ask. And add anything you want to this theory: confutations are welcome, too! :D |
2024.05.17 00:44 FragrantCut8358 the guy i talked to died last month and i only found out now (and in the worst way possible)
i don't even know what i expect from posting this here, but maybe writing it down will help.
in december of last year i matched with a guy on tinder. we had great conversations from the start and he was super sweet. back then, i was struggling a lot with my mental and physical health, since i suffer from 'generalized anxiety disorder' and dealt with dizziness for 3 months straight. after a few days of texting i opened up to him and complained about my symptoms. he asked a lot of questions about the things i was dealing with, told me how impressed he was by my self awareness and made it seem like he really cared.
after he told me he wasn't doing so well himself i offered to listen if he wanted to talk and he shared his story with me. a few months prior he had an accident while playing soccer. he broke his skull, had internal bleeding in his head and had been dealing with epileptic seizures ever since. i felt horrible after hearing his story, because obviously, he was going through a lot more than me, but i was the one complaining.
we texted for a few more days, talked about meeting up for drinks, but then stopped talking and just responded to eachothers IG stories here and there. 3 months later (march), we started chatting again..
he told me how happy he was, how much better he was doing and apologized for not reaching out. he also told me that he would still love to get to know me and i agreed on meeting up with him. even though he still had a lot going on, he wanted to know how i was doing and listened to my struggles all over again. we had another great conversation and both shared a lot with eachother.
somehow, the conversation stopped. a week later i wished him a happy birthday and a few days after that he responded "pretty girl" to my IG story but that was it. i didn't hear from him for 5 weeks.. i was a little disappointed and wondered why he never reached out, but just told myself that he's probably busy.
fast forward to 2 days ago.. i was about to go to bed and was scrolling through facebook when i saw a weird post of an "anti covid vaccine" profile. it was an article about a young soccer player who recently passed away from cardiac arrest and the description said "i"m not surprised so many young people pass away these days, because of the vaccine". i shook my head and was about to scroll past it, when i realized the guy looked familiar. (it was a picture of him in motion, while playing soccer so it was hard to tell)
after looking at the picture for a few seconds i realized who it was and immediately choked up. my first thought was 'omg i need to tell him that they used his picture for a nonsense article.' but then i started wondering if the article was real. i went to check the IG page of his soccer team but couldn't find anything, so i had hope the article was just a horrible joke. but just to make sure, i googled his name and there they were..
20-30 news paper articles, talking about the young soccer player who died out of nowhere at the beginning of april. he was already gone for 35 days by the time i found out.
i was staring at the ceiling, crying and just couldn't grasp it. 3 weeks before his death we were talking about meeting up and 13 days before, he responded to my IG story one last time.
i never got to meet him but my heart is still broken. i didn't have to talk to him in person to know what a great person he was. i was sure about that the day we started talking..
you may think i'm exaggerating by saying that i'm heart broken by his death, but he's the first person who passed away whom i talked to shortly before that. and the fact that it took me so long to realize he was gone just makes me even more sad. i even remember my dad telling me about a soccer player passing away back in april, but his name was never mentioned so i had no idea.
and now, i just have to live with the fact that he's gone. i don't want to complain too much, because if i'm heart broken by this, i can't even imagine how his family and friends are feeling, but it still hurts.
i guess the moral of this story is: live life to the fullest; reach out to the person you like; go on dates; tell the people around you how much they mean to me and just make the most out of everyday. at least that's what i will do from now on..
submitted by FragrantCut8358 to offmychest [link] [comments]
in december of last year i matched with a guy on tinder. we had great conversations from the start and he was super sweet. back then, i was struggling a lot with my mental and physical health, since i suffer from 'generalized anxiety disorder' and dealt with dizziness for 3 months straight. after a few days of texting i opened up to him and complained about my symptoms. he asked a lot of questions about the things i was dealing with, told me how impressed he was by my self awareness and made it seem like he really cared.
after he told me he wasn't doing so well himself i offered to listen if he wanted to talk and he shared his story with me. a few months prior he had an accident while playing soccer. he broke his skull, had internal bleeding in his head and had been dealing with epileptic seizures ever since. i felt horrible after hearing his story, because obviously, he was going through a lot more than me, but i was the one complaining.
we texted for a few more days, talked about meeting up for drinks, but then stopped talking and just responded to eachothers IG stories here and there. 3 months later (march), we started chatting again..
he told me how happy he was, how much better he was doing and apologized for not reaching out. he also told me that he would still love to get to know me and i agreed on meeting up with him. even though he still had a lot going on, he wanted to know how i was doing and listened to my struggles all over again. we had another great conversation and both shared a lot with eachother.
somehow, the conversation stopped. a week later i wished him a happy birthday and a few days after that he responded "pretty girl" to my IG story but that was it. i didn't hear from him for 5 weeks.. i was a little disappointed and wondered why he never reached out, but just told myself that he's probably busy.
fast forward to 2 days ago.. i was about to go to bed and was scrolling through facebook when i saw a weird post of an "anti covid vaccine" profile. it was an article about a young soccer player who recently passed away from cardiac arrest and the description said "i"m not surprised so many young people pass away these days, because of the vaccine". i shook my head and was about to scroll past it, when i realized the guy looked familiar. (it was a picture of him in motion, while playing soccer so it was hard to tell)
after looking at the picture for a few seconds i realized who it was and immediately choked up. my first thought was 'omg i need to tell him that they used his picture for a nonsense article.' but then i started wondering if the article was real. i went to check the IG page of his soccer team but couldn't find anything, so i had hope the article was just a horrible joke. but just to make sure, i googled his name and there they were..
20-30 news paper articles, talking about the young soccer player who died out of nowhere at the beginning of april. he was already gone for 35 days by the time i found out.
i was staring at the ceiling, crying and just couldn't grasp it. 3 weeks before his death we were talking about meeting up and 13 days before, he responded to my IG story one last time.
i never got to meet him but my heart is still broken. i didn't have to talk to him in person to know what a great person he was. i was sure about that the day we started talking..
you may think i'm exaggerating by saying that i'm heart broken by his death, but he's the first person who passed away whom i talked to shortly before that. and the fact that it took me so long to realize he was gone just makes me even more sad. i even remember my dad telling me about a soccer player passing away back in april, but his name was never mentioned so i had no idea.
and now, i just have to live with the fact that he's gone. i don't want to complain too much, because if i'm heart broken by this, i can't even imagine how his family and friends are feeling, but it still hurts.
i guess the moral of this story is: live life to the fullest; reach out to the person you like; go on dates; tell the people around you how much they mean to me and just make the most out of everyday. at least that's what i will do from now on..
2024.05.16 22:23 Longjumping-Pick-706 If I Had Only Known
My apologies in advance if this is long. I was in an abusive relationship/marriage for 23 years. This incident happened when we were still friends. If I had I only known the truth when this had originally happened, I would have been saved from decades of emotional, psychological, verbal, physical, sexual, and physical abuse. (And currently post-separation abuse).
The cast: me, my ex Bub (Beelzebub), my ex-crush B, Bub's gf M, Bub's bf V (It will make sense when you read it.)
TW: Suicide, self-harm, abuse
We met through a mutual friend. We became really close really quickly. He was 17 and I was 19. We would talk for hours about anything and everything. I was raised around domestic abuse, and my family was highly dysfunctional. I suffered severe trauma as a child being raised in this environment with an abusive father and brother. (His namesake). By the time I met Bub, I had been having mental health struggles for many years. To deal with the trauma I still suffered from I would self-harm by cutting frequently. I also had been in a psychiatric hospital twice for suicide attempts. I told Bub about all of this, and he knew that I still did it. He was very supportive and would get really sad when I harmed myself.
Since we were just friends we would talk about our crushes. He had a crush on a girl from high school and I had a crush on one of my ex's B, who was also my high school crush. We only dated for 3 weeks, and we decided we were better as friends then lovers. Though we did have a FWB thing going on when we were both single. He really talked up his crush and I really talked up mine.
Two months into our friendship he got a gf. He told me she was a girl he knew from his home city named M. He claimed her mother would babysit him and his brother. He really talked this girl up. She was into all the same things as him. He said she had beautiful red hair, D breasts, liked the same books, movies and music as him. (Yes, he bragged about these things, as disgusting and corny as it sounds now). I was starting to believe he talked her up to make me jealous, which it honestly did. However, I knew it was petty jealousy and I was very happy for him and expressed that to him.
I don't know whose idea it was for her to start communicating with me, but she started emailing me to get to know his best friend (me). I was totally cool with this and was excited to get to know her. Before I know it, she starts getting really nasty with me for no apparent reason. It really upset me. My natural impulse at the time when I was upset was to cut. It was a maladaptive coping mechanism I had for years, and I did it when I was really upset. I explained this to him, and he said he would talk to her. He showed real concern I was harming myself and he also wanted her to stop.
So, he told me he had talked to her, and she had told him she would stop harassing me for no good reason. I really assumed she was jealous and let her know there was nothing to worry about. We were friends and he had a much longer history with her. She didn't stop. She continued to say the vilest and f'd up things to me, including making crass and insensitive comments about my suicidal ideation and self-harm. Naturally I was really upset and cut myself pretty badly. I still have the scar.
This basically went on until they broke up a month later. He said she was doing heroin, and he was vehemently against drugs. He said that they had a good friend that died of an OD, and he couldn't be with her if she was going to do that. It was over. She never contacted me again.
Not long after that B (my ex-bf) had come back from bootcamp. I spent a good deal of time with him while he was on home for leave for two weeks before he shipped out overseas. We decided in that time that we would no longer be FWB because I was starting to have feelings for Bub. Me and Bub started dating right after that. He ended up telling me that him and M didn't really date, and he had only told me that to make me jealous. AHA! I was correct!
So, I asked to meet her. He was a bit hesitant at first, but he finally agreed. At this point his bf V from his home city was dating her. It was the perfect opportunity to meet her as like a double date. I will say, at that time in my life I could be possessive and jealous. Not proud of it, but I was young and immature. I ended up treating her pretty snidely because of this.
One night we were out with them, and Bub got into a car accident. We ended up having to call his dad for a ride home. When we got to his home, his dad was contemplating letting them sleep there. I whispered in Bub's ear that I was not okay with his ex-gf sleeping at his house. She overheard me tell him this. She pulled me aside and told me they never dated. WHAT? I was furious. Bub made eye contact with me, and by the look on his face, I could tell he knew what she told me. The ride back, to drop them at home in his dad's car, was uncomfortable to say the least.
After he dropped them off, I confronted him. His explanation was I was so pushy to meet her, but he knew how jealous I could be, so he didn't want to actually introduce me to the real M. Ends up V was dating a girl with the same name. I felt so stupid and betrayed. I wanted to end it, but he seemed so remorseful I ended up giving him another chance.
Well, the years go rolling by, and I hear no more about this girl who he was so close with, in the past. Bub was a very charismatic person with a lot of friends. He never stopped speaking to friends permanently and they would come in and out of his life. I found it a little odd that there was no mention of her but didn't think much else of it. I also never really formally met her.
Then Facebook became a thing. He ended up being friends with every person he had ever known. Except her. I would bring it up and he would always have some excuse. We ended up moving in with his brother in 2015. I wasn't really around his brother a lot, so I never got a chance to talk to him at length. I remember at one point I brought her up. I was just so curious at the mystery girl and wanted to see if he was still in touch with her. He told me he didn't know what I was talking about. He said his mother never left them with babysitters and only worked when they were in school.
"What does that mean," I'm thinking. WTF does that mean? I brought it up to Bub and he told me she only babysat a few times so his brother probably forgot. But this didn't sit right with me. He had told me that she would babysit them frequently. He denied ever saying the frequency. What could I do but believe him? It had been almost 15 years by that point. That's a long time to keep a secret like that. Surely, he was telling me the truth. I dropped it for good.
We get married that year. We had a child the next year. We had a stillborn a year after that. All this time until 2022, I started feeling really uneasy about our relationship. I started suspecting that his behavior towards me was abusive.
Sidenote: I didn't include all the abusive behaviors in this post, as it would be a novel if I did. I'm simply recalling the events around the catalyst to my descent into hell.
By the end of 2022 I was broken. I had gotten my first of what would end up being 3 TROs against him. I dismissed the first two. (The second was a dual, as he set up a situation that created the need for me to defend myself. He claimed I wasn't defending myself. That's a story for another day). After the first two, I was still so desperate to salvage my marriage with my eternal hope that he could change. I was just so broken by then I didn't think I deserved any better, and no one else could possibly want a worthless, pitiful broken mess like me.
The summer of 2023, while laying sleepless in bed, the memory of M flashed through my mind. I started remembering details I had long forgotten. Why did I never meet her? Why was she never his friend on Facebook? Why had neither of them reached out to each other? I had met every person he talked about, or he was at least friends with them on Facebook. Why not her? Why did his brother not remember? Why did he say M's mother babysat them all the time? I KNOW he originally said that damn it! Why was her email address, at only 17-years-old, her first and last name? 17-year-olds don't use their names like professionals. They call themselves sparklybutterflies86 for christ's sakes! This was all going through my head.
The next day I confronted Bub. I will paraphrase to the best of my memory:
Me: Was M real?
Bub: I thought this had been settled already.
Me: No. No, it hasn't. You told me your brother just did not remember her and that was the last I spoke of it.
Bub: Deadpanned looking me right in the eye "No. She wasn't real. I thought you knew this by now."
I can't really remember what I said at that point, but it was a lot of "how the fuck could you do that? and other expletives. His excuse was he was an insecure teenager, and he was jealous of B and how much I talked about him. A fucking insecure teenager. Talking up his high school crush didn't make me jealous, so he made up a gf.
He pretended to be a gf, who went on to harass the shit out me. Which caused me to be so distraught that I cut myself. He knew I was harming myself and he kept on doing it. I still bare the fucking scar from that time. He involved a poor innocent girl that I was fucking terrible to. Not to mention the fake story of a friend that Od'd. And his excuse for this deranged, diabolical, INSANE fucking shit was, "I was an insecure teenager." No fucking big deal, right?
23 years. Two kids. One alive and one deceased. 23 years of complete and utter psychological annihilation with this man.
If only I had known.
If you have come this far, thank you so much for reading. I left him for good October of last year, and I have never felt more free.
submitted by Longjumping-Pick-706 to TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]
The cast: me, my ex Bub (Beelzebub), my ex-crush B, Bub's gf M, Bub's bf V (It will make sense when you read it.)
TW: Suicide, self-harm, abuse
We met through a mutual friend. We became really close really quickly. He was 17 and I was 19. We would talk for hours about anything and everything. I was raised around domestic abuse, and my family was highly dysfunctional. I suffered severe trauma as a child being raised in this environment with an abusive father and brother. (His namesake). By the time I met Bub, I had been having mental health struggles for many years. To deal with the trauma I still suffered from I would self-harm by cutting frequently. I also had been in a psychiatric hospital twice for suicide attempts. I told Bub about all of this, and he knew that I still did it. He was very supportive and would get really sad when I harmed myself.
Since we were just friends we would talk about our crushes. He had a crush on a girl from high school and I had a crush on one of my ex's B, who was also my high school crush. We only dated for 3 weeks, and we decided we were better as friends then lovers. Though we did have a FWB thing going on when we were both single. He really talked up his crush and I really talked up mine.
Two months into our friendship he got a gf. He told me she was a girl he knew from his home city named M. He claimed her mother would babysit him and his brother. He really talked this girl up. She was into all the same things as him. He said she had beautiful red hair, D breasts, liked the same books, movies and music as him. (Yes, he bragged about these things, as disgusting and corny as it sounds now). I was starting to believe he talked her up to make me jealous, which it honestly did. However, I knew it was petty jealousy and I was very happy for him and expressed that to him.
I don't know whose idea it was for her to start communicating with me, but she started emailing me to get to know his best friend (me). I was totally cool with this and was excited to get to know her. Before I know it, she starts getting really nasty with me for no apparent reason. It really upset me. My natural impulse at the time when I was upset was to cut. It was a maladaptive coping mechanism I had for years, and I did it when I was really upset. I explained this to him, and he said he would talk to her. He showed real concern I was harming myself and he also wanted her to stop.
So, he told me he had talked to her, and she had told him she would stop harassing me for no good reason. I really assumed she was jealous and let her know there was nothing to worry about. We were friends and he had a much longer history with her. She didn't stop. She continued to say the vilest and f'd up things to me, including making crass and insensitive comments about my suicidal ideation and self-harm. Naturally I was really upset and cut myself pretty badly. I still have the scar.
This basically went on until they broke up a month later. He said she was doing heroin, and he was vehemently against drugs. He said that they had a good friend that died of an OD, and he couldn't be with her if she was going to do that. It was over. She never contacted me again.
Not long after that B (my ex-bf) had come back from bootcamp. I spent a good deal of time with him while he was on home for leave for two weeks before he shipped out overseas. We decided in that time that we would no longer be FWB because I was starting to have feelings for Bub. Me and Bub started dating right after that. He ended up telling me that him and M didn't really date, and he had only told me that to make me jealous. AHA! I was correct!
So, I asked to meet her. He was a bit hesitant at first, but he finally agreed. At this point his bf V from his home city was dating her. It was the perfect opportunity to meet her as like a double date. I will say, at that time in my life I could be possessive and jealous. Not proud of it, but I was young and immature. I ended up treating her pretty snidely because of this.
One night we were out with them, and Bub got into a car accident. We ended up having to call his dad for a ride home. When we got to his home, his dad was contemplating letting them sleep there. I whispered in Bub's ear that I was not okay with his ex-gf sleeping at his house. She overheard me tell him this. She pulled me aside and told me they never dated. WHAT? I was furious. Bub made eye contact with me, and by the look on his face, I could tell he knew what she told me. The ride back, to drop them at home in his dad's car, was uncomfortable to say the least.
After he dropped them off, I confronted him. His explanation was I was so pushy to meet her, but he knew how jealous I could be, so he didn't want to actually introduce me to the real M. Ends up V was dating a girl with the same name. I felt so stupid and betrayed. I wanted to end it, but he seemed so remorseful I ended up giving him another chance.
Well, the years go rolling by, and I hear no more about this girl who he was so close with, in the past. Bub was a very charismatic person with a lot of friends. He never stopped speaking to friends permanently and they would come in and out of his life. I found it a little odd that there was no mention of her but didn't think much else of it. I also never really formally met her.
Then Facebook became a thing. He ended up being friends with every person he had ever known. Except her. I would bring it up and he would always have some excuse. We ended up moving in with his brother in 2015. I wasn't really around his brother a lot, so I never got a chance to talk to him at length. I remember at one point I brought her up. I was just so curious at the mystery girl and wanted to see if he was still in touch with her. He told me he didn't know what I was talking about. He said his mother never left them with babysitters and only worked when they were in school.
"What does that mean," I'm thinking. WTF does that mean? I brought it up to Bub and he told me she only babysat a few times so his brother probably forgot. But this didn't sit right with me. He had told me that she would babysit them frequently. He denied ever saying the frequency. What could I do but believe him? It had been almost 15 years by that point. That's a long time to keep a secret like that. Surely, he was telling me the truth. I dropped it for good.
We get married that year. We had a child the next year. We had a stillborn a year after that. All this time until 2022, I started feeling really uneasy about our relationship. I started suspecting that his behavior towards me was abusive.
Sidenote: I didn't include all the abusive behaviors in this post, as it would be a novel if I did. I'm simply recalling the events around the catalyst to my descent into hell.
By the end of 2022 I was broken. I had gotten my first of what would end up being 3 TROs against him. I dismissed the first two. (The second was a dual, as he set up a situation that created the need for me to defend myself. He claimed I wasn't defending myself. That's a story for another day). After the first two, I was still so desperate to salvage my marriage with my eternal hope that he could change. I was just so broken by then I didn't think I deserved any better, and no one else could possibly want a worthless, pitiful broken mess like me.
The summer of 2023, while laying sleepless in bed, the memory of M flashed through my mind. I started remembering details I had long forgotten. Why did I never meet her? Why was she never his friend on Facebook? Why had neither of them reached out to each other? I had met every person he talked about, or he was at least friends with them on Facebook. Why not her? Why did his brother not remember? Why did he say M's mother babysat them all the time? I KNOW he originally said that damn it! Why was her email address, at only 17-years-old, her first and last name? 17-year-olds don't use their names like professionals. They call themselves sparklybutterflies86 for christ's sakes! This was all going through my head.
The next day I confronted Bub. I will paraphrase to the best of my memory:
Me: Was M real?
Bub: I thought this had been settled already.
Me: No. No, it hasn't. You told me your brother just did not remember her and that was the last I spoke of it.
Bub: Deadpanned looking me right in the eye "No. She wasn't real. I thought you knew this by now."
I can't really remember what I said at that point, but it was a lot of "how the fuck could you do that? and other expletives. His excuse was he was an insecure teenager, and he was jealous of B and how much I talked about him. A fucking insecure teenager. Talking up his high school crush didn't make me jealous, so he made up a gf.
He pretended to be a gf, who went on to harass the shit out me. Which caused me to be so distraught that I cut myself. He knew I was harming myself and he kept on doing it. I still bare the fucking scar from that time. He involved a poor innocent girl that I was fucking terrible to. Not to mention the fake story of a friend that Od'd. And his excuse for this deranged, diabolical, INSANE fucking shit was, "I was an insecure teenager." No fucking big deal, right?
23 years. Two kids. One alive and one deceased. 23 years of complete and utter psychological annihilation with this man.
If only I had known.
If you have come this far, thank you so much for reading. I left him for good October of last year, and I have never felt more free.
2024.05.16 21:08 Whiskkas 50 Patriots fans were coming to Florida for a pool party and now our dreams are shattered.
LONDON? WTF?
(I don’t know if anyone cares about this story but as part of my grieving process I needed to get it out)
It started as a joke. I work at a sports bar in Boston and we got on the topic of how going to a pool party in the end zone of your stadium is on my bucket list. So many people were unaware this even existed. I showed them photos and they were floored.
A week later the home/away schedule was released, and I see the Patriots were playing you guys on your turf. During a spirited day drinking session on Marathon Monday I bring it up again. “lol, what if we all went to Jacksonville? That would be a riot” Everyone is “totally down”. I take it to Facebook the next day and poll my people, just out of sheer curiosity, to see who would be interested in a scheme like this. The response was overwhelming.
Few days later I’m poking around on the Jags website, just to get a feel for what’s involved in this process. I assume it’s all still a pipe dream, that people book this kind of stuff years in advance. I fill out a form for “more information” and less than 12 hours later I have the most wonderful and helpful woman from the Jags ticket office calling me to see how she can get us in that pool TODAY. Honestly, she seemed amused at the idea of an entire end zone filled with jabronis from Boston.
Turns out, the process is extremely approachable and doable, despite the initially frightening price tag of $17k. All of a sudden, a few days later, myself and a few other bartenders have pooled some money together and put down a (fully refundable) deposit for the pool section of the Patriots/Jags game, date TBD.
That was a month ago, and it has almost literally been the only thing people have been talking about since. I had a list of over 60 people interested (pool apparently has a cap of 55). People I didn’t know were contacting me to get involved. Air bnb’s were being researched. Dunkin Donuts track suits and Patriots bikinis were in our virtual shopping carts. Sign ideas were being floated around (“I flew 1000 miles to see Mac Jones disappoint someone else”). We were so ready to show up and be everything you’d expect from a group of (lovable) assholes from Boston.
The first mini-let down was the leak it was going to be a Monday night game. I had to admit that in my head, this was a 1pm Sunday event, sun shining down on us. But hey, an October night in Florida ain’t half bad, especially considering the weather we are used to, so we decide to not let it dampen our spirit.
Which brings us to yesterday. Fuckin London. I cannot tell you the disappointment that engulfed us as we realized that this epic party, something sure to go down in history in our little corner of the world, a party that seemed too fun and too good to be true, was. We are all now in mourning of the party that could have been.
Jacksonville, we will be coming for you. Maybe not this year, and maybe not next, but one year someone will hear deafening cheers from a group of people in the pool who sound like they walked off the set of The Departed, and you’ll know we finally did it.
Good luck this year fans.
submitted by Whiskkas to Jaguars [link] [comments]
(I don’t know if anyone cares about this story but as part of my grieving process I needed to get it out)
It started as a joke. I work at a sports bar in Boston and we got on the topic of how going to a pool party in the end zone of your stadium is on my bucket list. So many people were unaware this even existed. I showed them photos and they were floored.
A week later the home/away schedule was released, and I see the Patriots were playing you guys on your turf. During a spirited day drinking session on Marathon Monday I bring it up again. “lol, what if we all went to Jacksonville? That would be a riot” Everyone is “totally down”. I take it to Facebook the next day and poll my people, just out of sheer curiosity, to see who would be interested in a scheme like this. The response was overwhelming.
Few days later I’m poking around on the Jags website, just to get a feel for what’s involved in this process. I assume it’s all still a pipe dream, that people book this kind of stuff years in advance. I fill out a form for “more information” and less than 12 hours later I have the most wonderful and helpful woman from the Jags ticket office calling me to see how she can get us in that pool TODAY. Honestly, she seemed amused at the idea of an entire end zone filled with jabronis from Boston.
Turns out, the process is extremely approachable and doable, despite the initially frightening price tag of $17k. All of a sudden, a few days later, myself and a few other bartenders have pooled some money together and put down a (fully refundable) deposit for the pool section of the Patriots/Jags game, date TBD.
That was a month ago, and it has almost literally been the only thing people have been talking about since. I had a list of over 60 people interested (pool apparently has a cap of 55). People I didn’t know were contacting me to get involved. Air bnb’s were being researched. Dunkin Donuts track suits and Patriots bikinis were in our virtual shopping carts. Sign ideas were being floated around (“I flew 1000 miles to see Mac Jones disappoint someone else”). We were so ready to show up and be everything you’d expect from a group of (lovable) assholes from Boston.
The first mini-let down was the leak it was going to be a Monday night game. I had to admit that in my head, this was a 1pm Sunday event, sun shining down on us. But hey, an October night in Florida ain’t half bad, especially considering the weather we are used to, so we decide to not let it dampen our spirit.
Which brings us to yesterday. Fuckin London. I cannot tell you the disappointment that engulfed us as we realized that this epic party, something sure to go down in history in our little corner of the world, a party that seemed too fun and too good to be true, was. We are all now in mourning of the party that could have been.
Jacksonville, we will be coming for you. Maybe not this year, and maybe not next, but one year someone will hear deafening cheers from a group of people in the pool who sound like they walked off the set of The Departed, and you’ll know we finally did it.
Good luck this year fans.
2024.05.16 20:31 themage_II One of those disappointments that life gives us
I met a girl in a Facebook group, we had the same religion but we lived very far away
A conversation arose and we got along very well since forever, a rare connection these days
Our conversations were always pleasant, and little by little we became interested in each other's lives.
After just a few weeks of talking, we were completely involved, making daily calls before bed. Calls that lasted more than 3 hours
Little by little she convinced me that it was a good idea to travel 328 miles to meet her.
After about 2 months of conversation, I went to her city, which was in another state.
We got along very well, our first interaction was a kiss and it continued that day with kisses and laughter
We were already planning on her helping me find a job so we could be close
At the end of the day I felt she was very anxious, I called her a few times from the hotel at the end of the night to see if everything was ok, but she said she slept
The next day, as was my custom, I sent her a nice good morning, but she responded in a cold and dry manner.
I asked if everything was ok and she replied that it wasn't because she was undecided about us. I told her we could talk about it at lunch, but she said she felt "bugged" and so that day I left she didn't accompany me and didn't even say goodbye to me.
Obviously I was furious with the situation, because I had traveled 8 hours just to meet her and she had insulted me, and I ended up insulting her through messages
She took the action of blocking me from everything and since then I have had no contact
And that's it
submitted by themage_II to self [link] [comments]
A conversation arose and we got along very well since forever, a rare connection these days
Our conversations were always pleasant, and little by little we became interested in each other's lives.
After just a few weeks of talking, we were completely involved, making daily calls before bed. Calls that lasted more than 3 hours
Little by little she convinced me that it was a good idea to travel 328 miles to meet her.
After about 2 months of conversation, I went to her city, which was in another state.
We got along very well, our first interaction was a kiss and it continued that day with kisses and laughter
We were already planning on her helping me find a job so we could be close
At the end of the day I felt she was very anxious, I called her a few times from the hotel at the end of the night to see if everything was ok, but she said she slept
The next day, as was my custom, I sent her a nice good morning, but she responded in a cold and dry manner.
I asked if everything was ok and she replied that it wasn't because she was undecided about us. I told her we could talk about it at lunch, but she said she felt "bugged" and so that day I left she didn't accompany me and didn't even say goodbye to me.
Obviously I was furious with the situation, because I had traveled 8 hours just to meet her and she had insulted me, and I ended up insulting her through messages
She took the action of blocking me from everything and since then I have had no contact
And that's it
2024.05.16 19:20 WonderFull4268 Selling my things in a 4b2b house
Hello! I'm looking for some advice/your insight. Here's my dilemma:
Main idea: how to get rid of my many things
Option 1 - I have an estate sale. A local highly rated business owner came over and looked at my items and quoted me to make about 5-7k if I were to have an estate sale. This estate sale that she can run would have to happen next weekend when I'm already scheduled to be in Florida, so it would happen with me not in the area (which makes me nervous). The lady said she will draft a contract which I haven't seen yet. She takes 35% of the total purchases and itemizes the big items I have for sale only. She would hire people to help with the sale, averaging $15 p/h, which we would split the cost for. She can haul anything that doesn't sale for extra $. This would also mean I have to board my dogs or rent an airbnb for the 3 days of the sale (thur-sat) so they are out of the house. The house would sit empty when the sale is not happening.
Option 2 - I sell everything myself for cheap/in bundles on Facebook marketplace. I listed about 5 things so far (small items) and about 50% has sold within a day. I would make far less money this way and would donate more (most likely) but I do have 2.5 weeks to sell things.
Option 3 - I would do my own yard sale or estate sale, but I don't have any help, so I would have to reach out and see if I can pay people to help.
Thoughts y'all? Open to any ideas
submitted by WonderFull4268 to moving [link] [comments]
Main idea: how to get rid of my many things
Option 1 - I have an estate sale. A local highly rated business owner came over and looked at my items and quoted me to make about 5-7k if I were to have an estate sale. This estate sale that she can run would have to happen next weekend when I'm already scheduled to be in Florida, so it would happen with me not in the area (which makes me nervous). The lady said she will draft a contract which I haven't seen yet. She takes 35% of the total purchases and itemizes the big items I have for sale only. She would hire people to help with the sale, averaging $15 p/h, which we would split the cost for. She can haul anything that doesn't sale for extra $. This would also mean I have to board my dogs or rent an airbnb for the 3 days of the sale (thur-sat) so they are out of the house. The house would sit empty when the sale is not happening.
Option 2 - I sell everything myself for cheap/in bundles on Facebook marketplace. I listed about 5 things so far (small items) and about 50% has sold within a day. I would make far less money this way and would donate more (most likely) but I do have 2.5 weeks to sell things.
Option 3 - I would do my own yard sale or estate sale, but I don't have any help, so I would have to reach out and see if I can pay people to help.
Thoughts y'all? Open to any ideas
2024.05.16 19:04 Artistic-Unicorn AITA for not giving more money to my cousin's wedding as a MoH
I can feel a long post coming in the air tonight... 🎶
It was a few months ago when my fiance proposed!! We went on a trip, he proposed when we were alone in a beautiful place and I was extremely happy on this day, it was one of the best days of my life. But... the next day was a disaster! I called my cousin, lets call her Gina, and told her that I was getting married, I called because she was one of my best friends and we have been close all my life. Gina lives in a different city from me, but we managed to get together often, she stayed with me for a year after college and generally I thought we had a bf-cousin relationship.
I was always in a better position than her financially but I've always given her everything I could, I'd buy her clothes, I've been paying her drinks and meals whenever we got out and always trying to make her feel welcomed and safe.
l called to tell her the news but I specifically asked her not to tell my parents until I was home from the trip. I wanted to have the pleasure to tell that I am getting married to my parents myself. I am an only child and my parents were waiting this moment for a long time since I am kind of "old" in their minds. As you have guessed Gina CALLED my parents before I could return from the trip and tell them...
What a b*tch!!!
We had no idea, we were so happy, when we returned from the trip we first went to my in laws who are really lovely people!! His mother baked and neighbors were coming and my SIL came all wishing us the best and everybody where happy about us.
After that we went to my parents to announce the news and I was very excited.
Their reaction was I quote "ok nice, now please send an email for me (something related to their work)"
I was devastated, I had a panic attack and left crying at that moment. Actually I opened the door and stormed out while my fiance was trying to catch our cat that went running behind me. We saved the cat!!🐈
My parents didn't speak to me for 3 days and they were very mad. Remember, I didn't know that Gina blabbed about me and I thought that they were just indifferent or didn't liked my fiance.
After 3 days my mum called and informed me that Gina told them before I could return from the trip and they were angry because my first thought was to tell my friends that I am going to get married and not to my parents!! Personally idk why they were so shocked, since we aren't so close and I think my best friends ( including Gina) as more of my family (and the cat).
Gina didn't have the right to tell, I texted her but she avoided me and then I was so mad I didn't speak to her for three weeks.
I went to her city to straight things out and when I got there, she hides behind her fiance. He was mad with me for not contacting them for 3 weeks ( i think he just found something to grab on ) and I asked my cousin directly why you spoke to my parents when I told you not to and she didn't speak back to me. Her "lawyer" did the indictment and I said to him to stay out of this and that Gina can speak her mind without his "help and guidance". Finally she started talking and without the presence of our dear "lawyer", she told me that she called to tell my parents out of excitement and among other things she said that her fiance announced that they were getting married to facebook first!! And that was the way her parents found out .....you see where this is going right?? She was frustrated that she didn't have the time to announce this to her parents properly and i don't know why in this f** world but maybe she thought that I had to pass through the same sh*t.
I left silently because really I didn't want to lose a cousin over this, a mess that I didn't initiated.
Now regarding her wedding, Gina is not well financially so she struggles with the wedding costs and also she asked me to be her MoH, really I think it's because she doesn't have other friends, she hangouts only with the friends of her fiance. I accepted of course before all this happened and I planned and saved to give Gina 5.000$ for her wedding. After this story, I only gave her 500$ which she thanked me a week later with just a typical "Thanks".
Everyone is expecting, because i am more financially stable than my cousins ( Gina and her brothers), to support my cousin at her wedding, but I am f** tired. I am tired of giving everything I can, since I was little, so they don't feel less or unequal, I was trying always to be very careful with that balance. All I ever had in mind was their best interest and considered them the brothers and sisters I never had.
I recently gave my cousin ( her brother ) my used car without asking for money and even paid for his insurance and other costs and he didn't even had time for coffee. I asked him 3 times to go for coffee or dinner, that I would pay, just to celebrate his new car and he never came.
When I think of my proposal I get all teary because that day I won a husband but lost a friend and cousin.
I've always dreamed that Gina would have the best wedding but now my heart can't reach the generosity I thought I had, plus when i went to her city she didn't come to greet me.
This is how you slowly become the bad relative, the Scrooge McDuck relative who doesnt ever give to other relatives.
Also my fiance is furious with all of them. And the cat, the cat is mad with all of us.
I dont want to be the MoH but she doesn't have any other friends (and I don't like the groom) If I resing all the other relatives will wonder why I am not her MoH since we had been very close.
Thoughts???
Thank you and sorry for the long post!!!
Ps: I am used to that kind of behavior from my parents so it doesn't matter anymore!!
submitted by Artistic-Unicorn to AITAH [link] [comments]
It was a few months ago when my fiance proposed!! We went on a trip, he proposed when we were alone in a beautiful place and I was extremely happy on this day, it was one of the best days of my life. But... the next day was a disaster! I called my cousin, lets call her Gina, and told her that I was getting married, I called because she was one of my best friends and we have been close all my life. Gina lives in a different city from me, but we managed to get together often, she stayed with me for a year after college and generally I thought we had a bf-cousin relationship.
I was always in a better position than her financially but I've always given her everything I could, I'd buy her clothes, I've been paying her drinks and meals whenever we got out and always trying to make her feel welcomed and safe.
l called to tell her the news but I specifically asked her not to tell my parents until I was home from the trip. I wanted to have the pleasure to tell that I am getting married to my parents myself. I am an only child and my parents were waiting this moment for a long time since I am kind of "old" in their minds. As you have guessed Gina CALLED my parents before I could return from the trip and tell them...
What a b*tch!!!
We had no idea, we were so happy, when we returned from the trip we first went to my in laws who are really lovely people!! His mother baked and neighbors were coming and my SIL came all wishing us the best and everybody where happy about us.
After that we went to my parents to announce the news and I was very excited.
Their reaction was I quote "ok nice, now please send an email for me (something related to their work)"
I was devastated, I had a panic attack and left crying at that moment. Actually I opened the door and stormed out while my fiance was trying to catch our cat that went running behind me. We saved the cat!!🐈
My parents didn't speak to me for 3 days and they were very mad. Remember, I didn't know that Gina blabbed about me and I thought that they were just indifferent or didn't liked my fiance.
After 3 days my mum called and informed me that Gina told them before I could return from the trip and they were angry because my first thought was to tell my friends that I am going to get married and not to my parents!! Personally idk why they were so shocked, since we aren't so close and I think my best friends ( including Gina) as more of my family (and the cat).
Gina didn't have the right to tell, I texted her but she avoided me and then I was so mad I didn't speak to her for three weeks.
I went to her city to straight things out and when I got there, she hides behind her fiance. He was mad with me for not contacting them for 3 weeks ( i think he just found something to grab on ) and I asked my cousin directly why you spoke to my parents when I told you not to and she didn't speak back to me. Her "lawyer" did the indictment and I said to him to stay out of this and that Gina can speak her mind without his "help and guidance". Finally she started talking and without the presence of our dear "lawyer", she told me that she called to tell my parents out of excitement and among other things she said that her fiance announced that they were getting married to facebook first!! And that was the way her parents found out .....you see where this is going right?? She was frustrated that she didn't have the time to announce this to her parents properly and i don't know why in this f** world but maybe she thought that I had to pass through the same sh*t.
I left silently because really I didn't want to lose a cousin over this, a mess that I didn't initiated.
Now regarding her wedding, Gina is not well financially so she struggles with the wedding costs and also she asked me to be her MoH, really I think it's because she doesn't have other friends, she hangouts only with the friends of her fiance. I accepted of course before all this happened and I planned and saved to give Gina 5.000$ for her wedding. After this story, I only gave her 500$ which she thanked me a week later with just a typical "Thanks".
Everyone is expecting, because i am more financially stable than my cousins ( Gina and her brothers), to support my cousin at her wedding, but I am f** tired. I am tired of giving everything I can, since I was little, so they don't feel less or unequal, I was trying always to be very careful with that balance. All I ever had in mind was their best interest and considered them the brothers and sisters I never had.
I recently gave my cousin ( her brother ) my used car without asking for money and even paid for his insurance and other costs and he didn't even had time for coffee. I asked him 3 times to go for coffee or dinner, that I would pay, just to celebrate his new car and he never came.
When I think of my proposal I get all teary because that day I won a husband but lost a friend and cousin.
I've always dreamed that Gina would have the best wedding but now my heart can't reach the generosity I thought I had, plus when i went to her city she didn't come to greet me.
This is how you slowly become the bad relative, the Scrooge McDuck relative who doesnt ever give to other relatives.
Also my fiance is furious with all of them. And the cat, the cat is mad with all of us.
I dont want to be the MoH but she doesn't have any other friends (and I don't like the groom) If I resing all the other relatives will wonder why I am not her MoH since we had been very close.
Thoughts???
Thank you and sorry for the long post!!!
Ps: I am used to that kind of behavior from my parents so it doesn't matter anymore!!
2024.05.16 18:08 SancVenator Media and Social Media
This is a rant that has been rattling around my brain for a good month and I need to get it out.
I hate modern media and social media. All of it, from the news to instagram and TikTok to YouTube and the newest Hollywood blockbuster. I hate that creating things has become about controlling consumerism, and less about adding new things to the world.
I really hate that companies “own” a large chunk of your time. On average, how much time do you spend on things like Reddit, Facebook, instagram, YouTube etc? That is their time. It is time that they can use to influence the decisions you make, the ideas you have, the political opinions you hold and the way you see other people and the world around you.
When I really get deep into these ideas it makes me feel crazy. A media company profits incredibly over every social conflict we have. Who saw the MOST positive change out of every “social movement” we’ve seen constructed in the past 5 years? (BLM, Israel Palestine etc) the answer is always the media companies.
It’s so intricate too, it works on everyone and anyone. Let’s say you have two types of people, A and B. A gets fed stream of content that displays a social injustice in an extreme way. A begins to formulate ideas and opinions that are based off the the limited information being hand picked and spoon fed to them. A decides to spend more time and focus on this issue (consumes more media, direct win for company) or maybe goes out to protest (indirect win for company). Person B is the edgy right win “I’m too smart to fall for this social bs” the algorithm recognizes that, and feeds B handpicked extreme versions of the A type people. Now person B has an extreme idea and opinion of what an A type person is and believes. This is obviously oversimplified, but I believe I get the point across.
It’s just crazy, so many people are living a complete lie through a screen. They are so deep in this mirage of opinion and agenda that they could never possibly have the chance to question anything that they are being fed.
It goes so much deeper too. Oversexualizing a population by pushing hypersexual content to younger users (more easily influenced, longer affecting). Memes about AirPods (appealing to consumerism) etc there are so many examples like this.
I won’t claim to know or understand the actual objective of any of the people powerful enough to create systems like these, but I think short term profit is a safe bet.
I personally have reached a point where I believe absolutely nothing I see or hear online. I like to make a little game where I try and find at least 3 layers of agenda in every post I see.
That’s it rant over. Media bad.
submitted by SancVenator to rant [link] [comments]
I hate modern media and social media. All of it, from the news to instagram and TikTok to YouTube and the newest Hollywood blockbuster. I hate that creating things has become about controlling consumerism, and less about adding new things to the world.
I really hate that companies “own” a large chunk of your time. On average, how much time do you spend on things like Reddit, Facebook, instagram, YouTube etc? That is their time. It is time that they can use to influence the decisions you make, the ideas you have, the political opinions you hold and the way you see other people and the world around you.
When I really get deep into these ideas it makes me feel crazy. A media company profits incredibly over every social conflict we have. Who saw the MOST positive change out of every “social movement” we’ve seen constructed in the past 5 years? (BLM, Israel Palestine etc) the answer is always the media companies.
It’s so intricate too, it works on everyone and anyone. Let’s say you have two types of people, A and B. A gets fed stream of content that displays a social injustice in an extreme way. A begins to formulate ideas and opinions that are based off the the limited information being hand picked and spoon fed to them. A decides to spend more time and focus on this issue (consumes more media, direct win for company) or maybe goes out to protest (indirect win for company). Person B is the edgy right win “I’m too smart to fall for this social bs” the algorithm recognizes that, and feeds B handpicked extreme versions of the A type people. Now person B has an extreme idea and opinion of what an A type person is and believes. This is obviously oversimplified, but I believe I get the point across.
It’s just crazy, so many people are living a complete lie through a screen. They are so deep in this mirage of opinion and agenda that they could never possibly have the chance to question anything that they are being fed.
It goes so much deeper too. Oversexualizing a population by pushing hypersexual content to younger users (more easily influenced, longer affecting). Memes about AirPods (appealing to consumerism) etc there are so many examples like this.
I won’t claim to know or understand the actual objective of any of the people powerful enough to create systems like these, but I think short term profit is a safe bet.
I personally have reached a point where I believe absolutely nothing I see or hear online. I like to make a little game where I try and find at least 3 layers of agenda in every post I see.
That’s it rant over. Media bad.