Had this idea bouncing around in my head about the little ferret guy, Etholin Esila. I figured with him being a 'merchant lord' he'd want to start cutting deals with Emma once the initial curiosity and amazement over Earth tech would have passed. Not sure where this is going, if anywhere, but just wanted to get it out of my head and onto 'paper'.
Thanks to u/DndQuickQuestion for helping with feedback on earlier drafts.
Afternoon Transgracian Academy of Magical Arts
The hulking minotaur loomed menacingly over me. "Crawling along the floor suits you well, Merchant Lord Etholin Esila!” it boomed in an intimidating baritone. “Merchant Lord, pfah! Even a mangy cur such as that Mercenary Prince has a legacy of valor and martial prowess behind his dubious title, but you?”
An accusatory finger was jabbed in my direction. “Nothing but puffery and bluster to buttress your status as a glorified shopkeep! Your ilk claims to broker fair trade between the Realms, but those with integrity and honor recognize the deceit you employ to conjure false value from nothing." It was difficult to tell if Lord Auris Ping's tirade was aimed more at myself, the Esila clan, or the concept of inter-realm commerce in general.
At the moment, I was more concerned with herding my scattered belongings back into my satchel. While rushing to my next appointment, I had the dubious privilege of colliding with this mountain of a brute. Naturally I was on the losing side of that contest, and was sent tail over head to the floor, scattering the contents of my school satchel across the polished granite. Not one to pass up the chance at a crass display of dominance, Lord Ping had launched into the rant that everyone in earshot was currently enduring.
"Look at you, scrabbling on the floor to fetch your little trinkets, a fitting match for your base and covetous nature!" Fairly pedestrian, as far as character assassination went. I’d been called far worse while helping Father with trade negotiations, sometimes at sword or stave point. One had to develop quite a thick hide when engaging in cross-realm commerce. Especially with many realms having rather… absolutist opinions about the value of goods, like Lord Ping here. But I had zero interest in contesting his assertions, despite how idiotic they were.
Haggling or arguing with Pronarthians was a singularly wretched experience. They were infamous across the Realms for their single-mindedness and a compulsive need to have the last word that bordered on lunacy. I didn’t have the patience for the endless ingratiating flattery required to bore through such stubbornness. If that wasn’t enough, a gentleman of my stature also had to consider Pronarthians’ sizeism; specifically their intrinsic respect for the larger and taller races.
And that was merely the average Pronarthian! Arguing with a belligerent lout, accustomed to deference as Lord Ping? I'd sooner try my hand at flying out the nearby window. At least the loamy soil below would give me a fighting chance, or a jagged rock would grant me the mercy of a swift end.
Instead, I busied myself putting my things in order, taking special care with one item in particular. It was a set of memory crystals I received from the Earthrealmer, Cadet Emma Booker. It was part of a ‘transdimensional cultural exchange pilot program,’ as she had described it with her nation’s peculiar bureaucratic jargon. I had previously conducted similar transactions in my initial dealings with Cadet Booker, and it was those first tentative steps that convinced me to make Cadet Booker a full-fledged premiere trade partner of the Ocean Breeze Trading Company, the pride of the Esila clan.
The myriad tomes and treatises from Earthrealm, such as the riveting "The Wealth of Nations," amply demonstrated that Earthrealm had an extremely sophisticated understanding of commerce, finance, and logistics. But it was the ‘video archive footage,’ transferred onto memory crystals for ease of viewing, that convinced me at a visceral level that these Earthrealmers were a sound investment. I felt it on my whisker-tips, as the commoners back home would say.
"May I offer a helping hand, Lord Esila?" inquired a familiar voice. I looked up to see a scaly, clawed hand extended toward me. “And perhaps a sympathetic ear? After all, that was a rather nasty bit of slander from Lord Ping, would you not agree?”
Wonderful. This nonsense again.
While I had been lost in thought contemplating Ocean Breeze’s latest windfall, Lord Ping seemed to have lost interest and resumed going about his business. Taking his place, as always, was Lord Qiv Ratom, ever ready to sift through the rubble of Lord Ping's latest ham-fisted antics for personal gain. "You will find that my views differ considerably from Lord Ping's. I, for one, admire the manner in which you extract value from your trade partners. After all, does it not require skill and cunning to convince the customer that your wares are worth far greater than their true value? Such nuance and subtlety is lost on the likes of Auris Ping, content to strong-arm what he desires from others."
I paused for a moment, at a loss for words. His tone suggested his 'praise' was sincere, but only stoked my ire further. What in the thrice-damned Hells did he think he was accomplishing? Did he really think that telling me, "Well, I still regard you as a thief, but I APPRECIATE your thieving nature, unlike that uncouth lout!" was going to win me over? Dealing with parties with this attitude to commerce and trade was tedious at best. But ever since making acquaintances with Cadet Booker, whose people's understanding and appreciation of commerce rivaled the Nexians, dealing with the likes of Ping and Ratom was nigh UNBEARABLE.
I rattled off the usual rigmarole we used at Ocean Breeze for clients we wished to keep at arm's length. "With respect, Lord Ratom, the value of the goods we sell is determined by the customer's needs and circumstances. The merchants of my clan arbitrate prices taking such factors into consideration. We see it as our responsibility to provide equitable trade that is not only beneficial to all parties, but also provides fair compensation for the tradesmen involved in executing the transaction."
"But of course, it is as you say," replied Lord Ratom with his signature oily charisma. "Fair and equitable trade, according to the customer's circumstances. Thus, you are but a facilitator of the Fates, a most humble tool of Destiny itself. And one who collects a respectable commission, at that," he continued. He stopped short of winking conspiratorially, but the impish grin playing across his features was a fine substitute. Every mote of my being wanted to shake him until he shed his skin. He continued, "Your... humility aside, my admiration of your clan's cunning and resourcefulness still stands. The insight of one so skilled is always welcome within my inner circle, should you wish to grace us with your presence."
It took all my restraint to not tell him into which orifice he could jam his charity-case friendship offer. After all, I'd been keeping far better and more like-minded company of late. Company that the Baralonian lord was likely dying to ingratiate himself with, given how Cadet Booker and her peer group had taken pains to keep Lord Ratom and his entourage of gossips at arm’s length. Instead, I left the smug reptile’s offer dangling in the air, twisting in the wind for a few agonizing moments while I finished tidying my things. Rising to my feet, I finally replied, "An offer most generous and kind. I will of course, have to consider the circumstances of both customer and merchant. Surely you would not begrudge a humble servant of Fate for waiting for the most auspicious circumstances?" Even at my best, I was hardly a master of rhetoric, so crudely tossing his words back at him was the best I could do.
"As you please, Lord Esila," replied Lord Ratom, finally sensing his return on investment wouldn't be worthwhile, leaving me alone to stew in the hallway. Such was the game played among the aristocracy. I looked down at the bundle of memory crystals in my hands, contemplating on their origin, and how Earthrealm could change how the Esila clan, perhaps even all of Rontalis, played the game.
I continued on my way, thoughts heavy once more.
Evening Ocean Breeze Trading Company, Elaseer Offices, Private Chambers
The Elaseer branch office of the Ocean Breeze Trading Company was a modest affair by Nexian standards, a second-storey affair nestled on the edge of the warehouse district. The restrained yet tasteful trappings were a calculated decision of the Esila clan, proprietors of the trading company. A fine balance had to be struck when it came to outward appearances, after all. Some measure of artful decoration was necessary to appease the Nexian eye’s obsession with projecting might and wealth, but not so much that it would attract too much attention.
Only in the private chambers would a guest finally see some personality in the decor, and a generous measure at that. These were the chambers of the nobleman assigned stewardship of these offices, Lord Rikad Esila, uncle to Etholin Esila. Colorful murals with aquatic motifs adorned the walls, highlighted with tastefully matching lacquered panels featuring artwork done in mother-of-pearl inlay. Similar decor was present in the dining room, where uncle and nephew were currently enjoying what Rikad thought would be a leisurely dinner.
CRACK!
The sharp sound rang out loud and clear in the small room, the source being a steamed crab claw, dashed to pieces on a smooth river stone placed between the two diners at the table.
Lord Rikad's branch of the Esila line hailed from the wetlands of Rontalis that opened up into the sea, and they regularly partook of the ocean's bounty. In antiquity, they were known to smash shellfish and other armored morsels against stones they carried with them to lay bare the tasty prizes within. This dining set configuration was a modern interpretation of that old tradition, with a communal stone for guests to open their shellfish.
Of course, such a homestyle service was available solely behind closed doors and shuttered windows and only then to Rikad and his close associates. Here in the Crownlands, such a 'barbarous and unseemly' artifact would be frowned upon by the prevailing Nexian culture and their gold and mother-of-pearl seafood forks that split the shell with a simple tap. But young Etholin labeled that languid dining as a boring conversational backdrop, inferior to the communal excitement of a well-placed strike.
Etholin’s spirited strike had a strong measure of anger behind it, a fact not lost on Rikad. "Steady now, lad. The aim is to crack the shell, not grind it to powder," chided Rikad, an otter clothed in well-tailored robes that melded practicality with muted elegance. He looked aged and gray compared to the ferret-like Etholin, clad in sumptuous silks and embroidery that assertively declared the young lord’s wealth and standing. Etholin hung his head in embarrassment. "Apologies, Uncle. I lost the reins of my temper."
"Well now, aggravated enough to make a mess of my dining set," observed the older gentleman. "It takes a great deal to get your humors churning like this, from my experience. So tell me lad, what urchin needles you?"
"Ugh, more Academy theatrics, what else? With Lords Auris Ping and Qiv Ratom being today’s star players."
"Ah, The Dunce and the Devil," remarked Rikad, nodding with understanding. This wasn't the first time his nephew had related the pestilent pair’s antics. "What two-act farce did they put on this time?"
"Ping opened with the usual blather about merchants being honorless tricksters, with Ratom swooping in to capitalize on the aftermath. Textbook at this point, really," explained Etholin, waving his hand dismissively. "It... it was just the way those two put forward their thoughts. In isolation, each would have been merely irritating. But with one following the other, I was ready to grind my fangs to nubs! To be cursed as a thief on one side, only to be praised as a thief on the other! It was like they were wielding ignorance as one would a greatsword, and managed to cut me with both edges! Gods, I wanted to THROTTLE the idiocy out of them!"
"‘Tis to be expected," said Rikad in consolation. "A great many noble families, even entire Realms at times, came about their status through force of arms or magical prowess, and thus they hold a dim view of commerce as a profession. It is a routine chore for us, navigating around them to find those with less absolutist views on the worth of goods, or more forgiving definitions of 'honest work'. An Adjacent Realm that does not cheat its creditors by altering the weight of its coins or debasing them with base metals and insisting otherwise while hiding behind the safety of their portal is worth its weight in gold."
"Sometimes I feel we ought to cut them out of our affairs entirely and deal with the Nexians, directly and exclusively," mused Etholin bitterly.
"Now, now, though your anger is justified, that's hardly reason for it to take hold of your mind's rudder," cautioned Rikad with a frown. "The Nexians have well-developed philosophies on trade in line with our own, but we only have the resources of a single Realm at our disposal, while the Nexians can leverage the bounty of their never-ending and mana-rich lands. Dealing solely with a behemoth that can devour us with a thought, no matter how frictionless those dealings are, is hardly my idea of a beneficial partnership."
Etholin sighed. "As always, your counsel is sensible, Uncle. Like I said, I lost the reins of my temper in a moment of weakness."
"Don't be so sour on things like this, lad. Our base nature gets the better of us at times, that is the animal within that we all struggle with. That you acknowledged such a lapse and took back the helm is proof that civility prevails. But, enough moping about!" Rikad jumped out of his seat with a little pep in his step. "Looks like we need to guide you back into good spirits, and I know JUST the thing for gentlemen such as us," concluded the elder merchant, twirling his whiskers playfully.
"Somehow I think a night at the theater or music halls will do little for me, Uncle. Or are you suggesting we seek respite at the bottom of a tankard?"
Rikad snorted derisively. "Oh please, I'm not senile yet, pup! Since when has SPENDING money brought joy to anyone worthy of the Esila name?" That made Elothin perk up a bit. Rikad continued, "No, I speak of a PROPER good time, I speak of..."
"COMMERCE!" they cried out in unison, fists held aloft in a triumphant pose. "Does that mean..." began Etholin.
"Indeed, we've just received the latest prototypes for the centralized mana ampoule, linking cords, and so-called 'mana motors'. Perfectly timed with the parts delivery from Cadet Booker not two days ago. Sukie, be a dear and clear this up, and have the remainder bundled up and sent to the young master's rooms at the Academy." Rikad motioned for the housekeepers to clear the table, then ushered Etholin to his private offices where they could discuss business strategy in depth.
Uncle Rikad’s offices were more than just a cozy place where Etholin could get a taste of home. Officially, Rikad was stationed here to oversee the administration of this branch office of the Ocean Breeze Trading Company. In reality, the office was a means to circumvent the Academy's prohibition against students communicating regularly with their home realm. Many aristocratic families employed similar cheats and dodges involving ‘familial duties’ and ‘business obligations’ to skirt the rules. If the Nexians cared about closing such loopholes, they didn’t show it. Perhaps the quaint maneuverings of their lessers amused the elves, who could say?
In this case, Rikad and Etholin were leveraging this loophole to the fullest, as they strategized on how to execute the next steps of their latest commercial venture, which Rikad would then relay to the head offices in Rontalis. As their planning session drew to a close, Rikad remarked on the time. “Well, it would seem that evening has fast become night. You are welcome to stay overnight here, as always, or perhaps you would prefer to retire to the Academy dormitories? Either way, I doubt you’d want to watch an old man doze off in his reading room listening to music.”
At the mention of leisure time, Etholin's eyes widened in surprise, and he began rooting around in his satchel. "Oh goodness, I entirely forgot!"
"What is it, lad?"
"Oh, Cadet Booker has provided us with more of her 'video archive files', transcribed to memory crystal," explained Etholin as he produced the set of crystals from his satchel, perfectly sized for the compact projection device that Rikad kept in his rooms.
"Ah, splendid! Another of the young lady's documentary presentations on commerce? Or perhaps one of her theatrical serials? Both are fine ways to while away the night."
“I’m not sure, but Cadet Booker said we would enjoy them a great deal,” said Etholin as he placed the crystal into the office's projector. As the machine spooled up, a moving image was cast onto the whitewashed wall across the room. As with all Earthrealm recordings, it was entirely mundane, bereft of any sign of manafields. Compared to mana based memory shards, Earthrealm recordings felt like faded sketches. None of that hindered the recording's impact on the viewers.
"Hoh? This is-" exclaimed Rikad, eyes lighting up in recognition.
An Earthrealmer with a thick, lustrous beard strode into view, his confidence and enthusiasm palpable despite the muted colors of the recording. The Earthrealmer’s voice rang out from the projector, carrying that same confidence and infectious enthusiasm like a barker worthy of the title of Grand Master.
Rikad and Etholin cheered in unison.
"HI! BILLY MAYS HERE, WITH ANOTHER GREAT PRODUCT!"

“So you’re a traveler from another world, with strange powers, here to help us out?” The commander of the unit summarized as the rest of the unit approached the still super train, preparing to salvage it.
“Yup,” I said nervously.
“Okay,” he replied after a moment.
“That’s it?” I asked, surprised.
“Good an explanation as any,” he shrugged, “considering you took down that war train and aren’t objecting to us taking it, I’m prepared to give you at your word.”
“What are you scavenging it for anyways?” I asked, turning to look at the massive vehicle, “you that hard up for metal?”
“There’s plenty besides metal,” the commander explained, “for one the parts in this thing are manufactured to far more precision than the human hand could manage. But even past that, these things carry vast stocks of coal and water, both of which can be hard to come across.”
“Not to mention oil for lubrication,” his second in command added.
“Finally there’s weapons and ammo, without access to factories of our own this is our best source of munitions.”
“Makes sense,” I nodded, “what’s the world like? Humanity still out there?”
“I don’t know about the world at large, but there’s a decent number of us hiding out within the machine’s territory,” sighed the commander, waving to a group of what appeared to be steam powered cars to pull up, each of them pulling a large cart for supplies, “to give you the short history of the war, a dozen years back the machine came online, with orders to expand. So it did, and hasn’t stopped yet. Everywhere it goes it turns into wastelands like this,” he motioned to the endless expanse of flat desert around us, “mountains, forests, lakes, doesn’t matter, it bulldozes it flat and builds factories or mines.”
“Why flatten everything?” I ask.
“Defense,” the Harmony answered, the commander nodding, “it relies on sonar for detection so fewer obstacles the better.”
“That was our guess too,” agreed the army man, “there are a few places it wasn’t able to pave, where we’ve been able to survive. In our case we live in a volcano, the damned thing tried to dig it out before the magma forced it to give up.”
“What about other nations? Surely not all of humanity has fallen.”
“On that front I admit to having less information,” he shrugged, “a few years ago we heard rumors that people outside managed to stall it, though I’m not sure how.”
“It seems to understand some natural phenomena can’t be overcome,” the Harmony commented, “perhaps they found a way to trigger that response along the entire front?”
“Good a theory as any?”
“I’m curious as to who would build such a thing,” I said, motioning to the mega-train, “I can’t think of much of a use for this kind of device.”
The commander looked around, nodding to his second in command who turned and left to coordinate the salvaging operation.
“Come with me,” he said, leading me away from the tracks. For several minutes we walked back towards where his men had dug in to assault the train. They were busy packing up the large guns that I recognized as being the main weapon of the train, only modified to rest on a foldable base and operate without clockwork. More steam-cars were being used to pull the guns once they were folded away, a half dozen tents of various sizes had been set up, the largest of which was white with a large red cross. It was also easily the busiest, with nurses and wounded constantly moving in and out at a frantic pace.
The commander led me into one of the side tents that appeared to be a makeshift command post, tables covered with maps filled the space, leaving little room to walk.
“Since you helped us out I’ll tell you what we know about the origins of the damned machine, but this is sensitive information, so don’t go sharing it around,” he warned me with a long glare before continuing, “the official story is the machine went rogue, some fault caused it to refuse to shut down. From then it’s simply kept expanding, seeing humanity as a danger.”
“That was our theory,” the Harmony replied.
“Unfortunately its not true,” he sighed, “the creator deliberately ensured his machines wouldn’t shut down. The flaw was intentional, exactly the same fault is found in every one of the base plans the machines use.”
“Why would he do that?” I asked.
“The man was brilliant, but in the end he seemed to go crazy. We don’t have much information about the last years or exactly what pushed him over the edge, but he seemed to think this was the only way to, as he put it, ‘defeat eternity.’ We think something drove him insane and he thought the universe itself was out to get him.”
“That’s,” the harmony started, but didn’t continue. We’d encountered multiple people who’d mentioned eternity by now, the most memorable was the man from the unchanging world. But the Conductor and a few others had brought it up by now.
“Ya, crazy,” the commander shrugged, seeming to take the Harmony’s comment another way.
“If true it’ll make fixing this thing much harder,” the Harmony said, “ordering a simple repair of damaged parts is one thing, but fixing a design flaw purposefully built into the blueprints of the entire mechanism?”
“Yup,” he sighed, “honestly our best bet is to just keep taking out trains where we can and hope to eventually out last them.”
“There might be another way,” the Harmony said slowly, “I noticed the machines only use a single frequence of sonar. Is that true across all their units?”
“Yes, near as I can remember,” the commander said after a moment.
“I should be able to design a few noise canceling patterns that work on that frequency it should allow you to approach their factories without being noticed.”
“Wait, you can make us invisible?” he asked, leaning forward.
“At least until the machine figures out the trick and varies up the sonar devices,” the Harmony warned, “but if you use it strategically it could net you large wins.”
“Will it work on moving objects?” I asked, “most passive noise cancelling only works on static objects, like in rooms.”
“It should, only because the machine uses a single frequency for its sonar,” the Harmony replied, sending me a series of calculations it wanted me to run through our datalink, “and it won’t be perfect, anyone using it will have to be exceptionally careful to not make too much noise or bump anything that could tip off the machine.”
“If its easier to hide immobile objects, then could you hide a derailing device?” the commander asked, starting to look excited, “if we could reliably derail the trains without them knowing why we might be able to starve out a section.”
“Stationary things are easier,” it agreed, looking over the results of the calculations I sent back. Its image projection crystal flickered on, displaying blueprints for a couple devices on the table, “I don’t know if a standard train derailer is enough to force a train of that size off the tracks, but you should be able to double the size of the one here without impacting its effectiveness.”
The commander’s eyes grew wide as the image appeared, rushing to the entrance of the tent and shouting for someone. In a minute a half dozen people were present, copying the diagrams along with a few variations the Harmony added.
“Hard to believe a few odd angles can disrupt sonar so easily,” one of the techs remarked, looking over one of the blueprints.
“It’s only possible because the Harmony is an entity basically made of sound,” I replied, “I doubt I could come up with something like this.”
“And I have to stress, this will only work until the machines change their sonar frequency,” the Harmony added, “as soon as they catch on these devices will become ineffective.”
“But could you design new patterns for whatever frequency they switch to?” the tech asked.
“No, if the machine is smart, and it seems smart enough, it’ll start using a few different frequencies. A single pattern can only cover a single frequency effectively.”
“Still, making a change like that across the machine’s hundreds of facilities and thousands of trains is a slow process,” the commander said, “even if it catches on, we could have years before all of it is altered to counter this.”
“Very true,” the Harmony agreed, its crystals even bobbing as if mimicking a nod, “it’s not a permanent fix, but it’ll help.”
“Speaking of, we encountered something odd,” one of the technicians spoke up, “seems like you understand the machine better than most, perhaps you can help us figure it out?”
“Sure,” I shrug, motioning for him to lead the way. Ten minutes later I’m in the mega-train once more, looking at a bank of gears arranged in a chaotic, but clearly intentional pattern.
“Right there, see those main gear trains?” the man asked, pointing at a cluster of mechanical bits that stood out against the rest, “that appears to be the main protocol mechanical computing, they’re what tell it what is or isn’t part of the protocols, if something violates them, and so on.”
“Right,” I nod, only to scowl, “one set of gears per protocol?”
“Yup,” he nodded.
“Then why are there four sets?”
“That’s what confused us,” he replied, “this place is directly above the engine room so we’ve never captured it intact before, so we’ve never noticed the extra-protocol set.”
“A back up?” the Harmony offered, “or error correction?”
“I don’t think so, it doesn’t match any of the other stacks, and error correction is over there,” he pointed to another set of gears, “you seemed to be well informed, maybe you could shine some light on this?”
“Seems pretty obvious to me,” I said, looking up to see both the tech and the Harmony staring at me, “what? Clearly there’s a fourth, hidden, protocol.”
“There’s only three protocols though,” the tech replied, “expand, defend, seek approval, we’ve known that for years.”
“Seems like the machine has a fourth,” I countered, pointing at the extra gear stack, “perhaps something secret the designer put in without anyone knowing?”
“Or the machine is evolving,” the Harmony replied softly, earning an alarmed look from me, “it seems quite rigid but, like you said, it’s been operating for years. If it can alter the design of its trains, then why not its own computation systems?”
“that’s… worrying,” the tech remarked, “honestly I hope its like the Traveler said, that it’s a hidden protocol.”
“Either case shouldn’t matter much,” I said, “there’s a limit to how fast mechanical systems can process data. It should hit a limit to how far it can evolve if that’s what’s happening.”
“I disagree,” the Harmony countered, “I’m living proof that multiple overlapping systems can produce intelligence far beyond what individual parts could come up with. Sound can only carry so much information at a time, but I can operate far beyond that limit due to my nature. It could stumble upon something similar for mechanical computers.”
“Seems unlikely,” I replied, and the Harmony didn’t disagree, but the thought was worrying regardless.
***** Discord - Patreon *****

TL;DR Chapter preface.
1 Team spirit and perseverance to overcome injuries and the collective effort to win
2 Carlo’s coaching what’s best for the club and not his style adapting against the opponent
3 How ancelotti built the team around the regista - Toni kroos
4 Dortmund’s run to the final and tactics
5 Real Madrid don’t play finals they win them. The unique decades long tradition that will make Madrid win the champions league.
1.
I wanted to take a moment before the final to write about our season. I have written about our previous two knockout ties against city and Bayern but now we have finally arrived to the summit of our season and the summit of a Real Madrid team which we won’t see in the same way without our maestro and conductor - Toni Kroos.
I’m sure a lot of our fans would agree that if you would had to tell me at the start of the season after losing our starting GK and 2 CBs to ACLs (unprecedented in its own regard) and lose the likes of Vini, Tchou and Camavinga for long stretches that we would win the league dominantly with 95 points by over performing our expected XG and reach the champions league final - I would ask you to put down the crack.
But yet here we are almost 9 months later ready to compete to win our 15th what a privilege for our fans to witness this moment. In an interview recently after eliminating Bayern, Carlo said that this was the best group of players he has ever managed. The fact that he said that having coached the likes of legends in Madrid and Milan of the past speaks volumes of the perseverance and team spirit we have shown this season. The team like he said “never complained” and worked hard to overcome all the obstacles thrown at us. We only lost once in the league against atletico and that loss opened our eyes on what we had to fix defensively when we realised we we weren’t defending well from our right side having conceded from crosses. The tweaks made whether it was getting Fede to be more of a defensive workhouse, getting Vini to play centrally, asking Jude to play the free 10 role or making rodrygo and Vini interchange from the left. These are not easy things to do and players need time to adapt but this team has done a momentous job shifting from a 4-3-3 and adapting to a diamond 4-3-1-2 or rather a 4-4-2, and playing for the needs of the team.

1. This is where I would like to talk about Ancelotti and his ability to manage based on what the club needs rather than his own personal style. The reason why Madrid are historically successful is because they don’t have a “style” they adapt and have the clutch factor to win when it matters and achieve the unprecedented.

Managers like pep are positionist and rely heavily on rehearsed plays that hinder the expression of freedom from players. Real and Carlo as of late have always been relationist allowing for a flow or mixture and adaptation. Against city we had to play a mid block in the first leg and stop their build up before they can push into our box to force them wide. In the second leg after scoring we had to play a low block for 60 mins to stop them from scoring. These are examples of a team and manager synchronised in the approach that they must do whatever to win. Carlo spoke about when they played De Zerbi’s shakhtar and not pressing them allowed them to get the ball and beat them 5-0. It our ability to adapt in the moment that allows us to overcome our opponent even if the chips are down.

1. Carlo spoke of his regret when he coached Parma and had the opportunity to sign baggio who was a 10 and one on the best players in the world then, but Carlo refused to sign him because he was adamant to play with 2 strikers. When he coached juventus he realised the importance of incorporating a certain Zinedine Zidane as the central figure of the team.

Those who remember his Milan team played a similar diamond with CFs and a roaming cam in the likes of Kaka who was the main man scoring goals at a ridiculous rate, very similar to Jude this season a lot of people would say that he was the focal point of that team but in reality it was the “regista” in Pirlo who conducted that Milan team and everything was built around how Pirlo dictated the play. And that is why I would like to highlight that our team is built around the irreplaceable Toni Kroos, our regista who conducts and orchestrates the play. It is why we have been successful not just with the system this year but the past decade. Kroos is a unicorn who is capable of escaping pressure and finding the right passes without being over indulgent to a fault like Barca or pep. Kroos’ impact in the final will be monumental and it is only fitting for a legend like him to bow out with a champions league trophy.

1. I think we can all agree that when you look at our side of the bracket in our run of the champions league, every team in our bracket would mop the floor with the teams in dortmund’s side of the bracket. I’m not saying Dortmund don’t deserve to be in the final they have earned to be there playing a defensive approach that sees the entire team defend when they need to. They have fast paced dribblers in sancho and adeyemi and a physical box presence in fullcrug. Their centre backs rank the highest in long ball passes in Europe and they play in quick transitions like a German team. They’ve shown resilience to overcome their opponents but let’s not forget they did top the group of death and that is no coincidence. Upon watching their games I think the one that impressed me the most was their win against atletico at home. They have qualities to cause us problem so we should be vary of how we approach them.

What troubled us against leipzig was when they played to clog us centrally and cause us issues in turnovers. Against Bayern in the first leg we didn’t acclimatise to the width their wingers found to score. My only worry remains our aerial and set pieces defence with the likes of a physical target man like fullcrug supplied by pace around him we need to be careful but I’m sure Carlo and co are well prepared and I trust the team handles this Dortmund side and take them to task.

1. I want to talk about the aura of Madrid in finals and how “Real Madrid don’t play finals, they win them”. Some of you may be supporting them for the first time in a final while for some they may have lost track. Personally this will be the sixth time I will be watching them play the champions league final and in my heart I know we will win it. Real humility lies in accepting that your opponent can beat you even if you are the favourite but Real perseverance lies in knowing that we will never give up no matter what. That is forever ingrained in me from 10 years ago when Sergio Ramos equalised in 92:48 to make us destroy atletico 4-1. I have since watched us win from going behind early on, winning in penalties and brutally destroying our opponents. Just like Carlo says I cannot explain what it is but there is something special about this club, it’s the winning dna, the spirit of juanito the comeback mentality, the myth and legend of this club and shirt that allows us to transcend and excel.

If you believe that there is something special about this club then you will know that we will win tonight. A year ago I’ll never forget how low I felt as a fan when we lost 4-0 to city. We have come a long way since then and a long way in this tournament getting revenge against city and beating Bayern Munich. We have come a long way to this final to lose against a side like Dortmund. And I will back my statement by pointing out a unique tradition that sees us always winning the champions league whenever we eliminate the reigning champions.
We have ALWAYS eliminated the title holders in the UCL era whenever we have faced them in the knockout rounds. And guess what ? Each time that happens we go on to win the champions league!
1998 - Dortmund in SF agg (2-0) we Win the UCL
2000 - Manchester United in QF agg (3-2) we Win the UCL
2002- Bayern Munich in QF agg (3-2) we Win the UCL
2014- PEP’S Bayern Munich in SF agg (5-0) we Win the UCL
2022- Chelsea in QF agg (5-4) we Win the UCL
2024 - Man City in QF … ⏳
So Madridistas I would like to end this reflection by saying that no matter what I am super proud of what we have achieved this season it is the culmination and the complete rebuild of Madrid that will never stop winning.
HASTA EL FINAL, VAMOS REAL!

I looking up Dragons Dogma 2. From the data gather. There is no nudity. I don't want sex scenes. I feel nudity empowers the game. How terrifying the harpies would be having nipples and their vagina showing as they try to seduce you and try to kill you. Or maybe a male chimera chasing you while its dick flopping in the wind. Or prostitutes showing some skin so you be around them and spend your hard earned coin for a good time.
I want my character to wake up naked in a bed. Just to feel more realistic. Or not wear clothes and run around butt naked.

[INDEX]
I banked the fire and stared into the golden eyes of Beatale before I crept into my makeshift tent.
I still had my auric vision running and couldn’t help but notice the thin silver cord that ran from me to Horse. Firming up my aura, I reached out with my hand and grabbed it. I could feel the nearly imperceptible vibration between my fingers as I used my mind to probe at the thread. I could feel a bright spark of intellect, a light at the end of a tunnel. Pushing with my mind, I slid down the thread until the spark grew larger and eventually filled my inner vision with a hazy white light. Horsey thoughts nudged at me curiously.
I slid into the haze and immediately lost all sense of direction. If it wasn’t for the silver thread, I’d have no idea how to exit this shifting white fog. Horsey thoughts got stronger as I followed the thread while the haze thinned and cleared to reveal an endless prairie of green grass. I found myself standing before a naked man wearing a horse mask and I stared in shock. It was obviously me wearing a cheap costume horse mask — there was no mistaking my tattoos.
“What did you expect?” Horse neighed at me. “I am you and you are me and we are all together. Goo goo ga joob.”
Horse made a shooing motion with his hands and I accelerated backwards through the white haze and slammed into my own body with a gasp. I stared at the tarp overhead for a long minute, processing this new revelation. Horse was a part of me, a piece of my spirit. Whatever psychic stuff I did with that silver cord lead me into a house of mirrors where I got to look at myself pretending to be a horse. I can’t even deal with that right now.
Rolling into my blankets, I dropped off to sleep.
*Ding*
-=- - Welcome to the Dreamworld - Included in the Psychic Skills pack, the Inner Sanctum is your psychic domain. It is the mental fortress that you must secure and maintain to defend against psychic and spiritual assaults. All of your neurosis and fears are symbolised in this realm and must be defeated or subjugated before you can become master of the domain. Good luck. -=-
I banished the pop-up and looked around. I knew I was asleep, but everything was just as real as when I was awake. I was breathing, I could feel the floor under my feet, and if it weren’t for the pop-up, I would have sworn I had been teleported. The room I was in resembled an oversized luxury prison cell, maybe a thirty foot cube. No windows. Rough stone walls with thick mortar. Large brass wall sconces were set directly into the stone and suffused the room with a warm, golden light provided by glowing rocks. The stone floor had colourful Persian rugs tastefully placed. A high plaster ceiling was painted with a rendition of Michelangelo’s ‘Creation of Adam’, depicting me as both Adam and God.
There was a comfy sofa in front of a large screen television that hung from one wall and an ornate grandfather clock ticked loudly in the corner. It was currently 10:08 PM. Another wall was a floor to ceiling bookshelf, stuffed with books of varying sizes. The third wall was covered with pictures and I could see at a glance that they were images from my life. The fourth wall had a thick riveted steel door on the right side, a full sized mirror on the left, and a computer workstation in the middle.
The picture wall was my first target. A few were quite large, nearly life sized, while others were tiny prints no larger than the palm of my hand. Scenes of my life were displayed in each one. The largest was me riding Horse with a shit-scared expression, shooting at a pack of wolves. Others were smaller, each with different frames. Some ornate gold or silver, others plain wood, a few wrapped in briars or barbed wire. Nanny Ramsey holding me as a young child. My dog Jean with a red ball in his mouth. My parents, screaming at me. I turned my attention to the books. Books are safe. Books don’t judge you.
The sweet, musty scent of a used book store filled my nostrils as I drew close to the honey coloured shelves. Hundreds of volumes filled the wall from floor to ceiling, with a ladder that could be rolled along a rail to access the top. I smiled at the sight. I had always wanted a library like this. I pulled a book at random and read the title, “Confused Fantasies about Joseph Harris, part XXIV of the Middle School Years”.
I slid the book back onto the shelf. Let’s see what’s on TV.
The remote was a slim, futuristic looking affair with a minimum of buttons. I pointed it at the television and moments later the huge screen came to life and presented me with a simple menu for movies, divided into six categories: Happy, Surprised, Afraid, Disgusted, Angry, and Sad. I scrolled through the offerings for a minute, reading the titles and reviews about the movies of my life. It really bothered me that there were so few selections in the Happy section.
The number of Sad movies increased by one.
I walked over to the mirror and noticed there was a small sticky note pasted to it. “Astral Realm. Experienced users only.” I shoved the note in my pocket and stared at my image. Sturdy black boots, black denim jeans and shirt with mother-of-pearl buttons, deep brown gun belt slung at my hip, red bandanna and black felt hat. All I needed was a pencil moustache and I would look like the stereotypical villain in any spaghetti western. At that very moment I decided to grow out a goatee. I’d rather be mistaken for a bad guy than a victim.
So how does this astral realm thing work?
The mirror appeared to be nothing more than a mirror. It was cold, smooth glass surrounded by a wrought iron frame, and reflected my image. I didn’t necessarily want to go walking into danger, but I wanted to know how it worked. I pushed and prodded the glass in frustration until I noticed my image grinning at me. I jumped back in surprise and it doubled over in silent laughter.
“Hilarious, dude. You got me,” I huffed. “So how do I get in?”
My mirror-self tipped his hat and stepped to side.
I reached up to the mirror again and my hand passed through, vanishing as if cut off. Okay, just a quick peek and we’ll explore the rest of the room. I stepped through and the world shifted around me. I was standing back at the campsite. My body was insubstantial as a ghost and the tarp was a wisp of substance running straight through me. Non living things don’t seem to have much presence in this realm. Glancing down, I saw my sleeping body rolled up in the blankets, a thin silver thread running from it to me, and another thread running to Horse.
Looking around, I surveyed the campsite. My astral vision seemed to be on and had an unlimited range. I could see the life all around me, the distant forest was a sea of greenish-gold, grasses and brush nearby glowed with spectral light. Tiny ghost insects scurried while ghost mice nibbled at whatever ghost mice nibble on. Ghost seeds and ghost insects, I suppose. I turned my attention overhead and gaped at the sight of a monstrous serpentine spirit flying through the inky void. I dropped back through the tent and rolled inside my body. That was plenty enough for now.
I rolled through the mirror and landed flat on my back, staring at the fresco on the ceiling. Vinnie-God winked at me and Vinnie-Adam grinned. Climbing to my knees, I brushed non-existent dust from my trousers and watched mirror-me doubled over in soundless laughter.
“Hey, laughing-boy!” I yelled at him. “You’re like the guardian or something, right? You got it covered?”
Mirror-me stood and saluted with a smile, then gave me two thumbs up. A moment later, his face took on a serious expression and he wriggled his right hand in the ‘maybe’ motion. Then he pointed at me, tapped his wrist, and then a finger to his head.
It all depends on how fast I learn stuff, I guess.
Two thumbs up and a winning smile reflected back to me.
A large cork board was mounted to the wall over the computer and a small note was pinned to it. “Note to self: Don’t fuck with the Elvish womens.”
The computer screen featured a screensaver of me as Vitruvian Man doing callisthenics over the words ‘HumanOS’. I tapped the spacebar and was rewarded with the sound of powerful fans kicking to life as the computer emerged from sleep mode and prompted me for a password. Should I assume it’s the same as the password on the computer I pawned in my previous life?
Password: *******esi
I was rewarded with a sweet R&M desktop and a couple of icons. System, NeuralNet, My-Tunes, My-Movies, My-Office.
System was just what I expected, lots of .dna files and other confusing scariness that allowed me to tweak my physical body and mental state. My-Tunes was a collection of every song I’d ever heard and My-Movies was a collection of every movie I’d ever seen. Not that I’m complaining, but it would have been nice to have “My-Games” so I could play RDR. My-Office was a clone of the popular software by a similar name. I have no idea what I’ll ever need a spreadsheet for in this world.
NuralNet opened up a search engine called Me-Seeks, featuring a familiar blue guy.
I typed in “beer” and several thousand results were displayed, anything I’d ever read, heard, or watched about beer, including how to make it. This right here made the price of admission totally worth it, access to an exact copy of everything I’d ever read, and I was a voracious reader. Sadly, most of the stuff I read was futurology — solar panels, electronics, biotech advancements, quantum computing. The material for steam engines, blacksmithing, farming and the like, were slim pickings. That’s okay though, I could still reproduce the Gutenberg press, the cotton gin, simple internal combustion engines, and basic batteries along with some sketchy knowledge of metal alloys, acids, bases, and other things I had read over the years. All that wasted time watching “How Things Work” was finally going to pay off. I copied a few likely money makers to My-Office, saved the file, and exported to my Notes, just in case they didn’t exist on Aerth.
A popup covered the screen.
📱 [New Upgrade Available!] 📱
🎉 Enhance Your Experience with the Latest HumanOS Features! 🎉
🌟 Features Include:

• 🧠 Memory Booster: Increase your Memory for smoother multitasking and improved performance.
• 🔋 Energy Optimizer: Extend your battery life with advanced power-saving techniques.
• 🛠️ Utility Upgrades: Access new apps and utilities to enhance your daily life and adventures.
• 🗺️ Advanced Mapping: Never get lost again with enhanced GPS and location tracking.

🔥 Special Offer: Only 2000 credits for version 2.0 or 5000 credits for version 3.0! 🔥
[Upgrade Now ✅] [Remind Me Later ❌]
Apparently I could upgrade myself, which reduced the cost of using my Utilities while providing other minor benefits. My Utilities would level up as I used them, which would increase their battery cost, so if I didn’t keep pace with an update to the OS they could become prohibitively expensive to operate.
Stupid pay-to-win world.
So, do I pay 2000 credits for version 2.0 or 5000 credits for version 3.0?
I selected version 3.0 and klicked [Install]. After watching it download the update, it popped up another screen that asked if I wanted to update now, or wait until Midnight for the mandatory update.
I selected [No] just as the grandfather clock chimed 10:30 PM. I wondered if time ran slower in here, because it seemed like I had spent a lot more time on the computer than 15 minutes. Walking over to the imposing steel door, I noticed a bronze key with a thin chain in the lock. There was another sticky note on the door. “Subconscious. Please keep the key with you at all times.”
That’s not scary at all, is it?
I unlocked the door with a loud clunk and pulled it open to reveal a bedroom straight out of some royal castle. I could tell immediately that it had seen better days. The tapestries on the wall were frayed and fading. The canopy over the bed had a few holes in it. A thin layer of dust covered the mantle of a small fireplace set into the wall. There was a window letting in bright sunlight and I moved over to look outside.
I was on the third floor of a keep surrounded by the walls and turrets of a modest castle. A castle that had fallen into serious disrepair. Did this represent the state of my inner mind? One tower was shattered and the curtain wall under it damaged. The lower bailey was full of litter. I could see a few soldiers walking around the allure, keeping watch.
I have people in my subconscious?
Someone behind me cleared their throat.
Whirling, I discovered a familiar old man standing in the door of the bedroom. What was left of his hair formed a white halo around his head, his face was unshaven and covered with several days of growth. He was dressed like a poor and tattered manservant, but carried himself with a dignified air.
“Woodhouse?”
“It’s nice to see the master at home,” He said with a proper English accent. “There are many matters that require the master’s attention.”
“Uh, sure,” I said, hanging the key around my neck and tucking it in my shirt. “And who are you again?”
“Your personal manservant, of course” he said with a slight bow. Walking over to the steel door, he pulled it closed and it locked with a solid thunk. “Master should always keep his inner sanctum closed. One never knows if something nasty will creep in.”
“Thank you, uh, Woodhouse. I’ll remember that,” I said, rubbing the back of my neck. “So what needs tending and how do things work around here?”
He smiled and beckoned me with a white gloved hand. “If master would be so kind as to follow me, I’ll introduce him to the staff and explain the duties and obligations of his domain.”
I’m 99.9% certain that everyone here is just me wearing a mask, so I shrugged and followed Woodhouse out of the bedroom and into the rest of my subconscious.
Five minutes later I was on the ground floor and seated on a shabby throne with the cast of a popular —and probably very copyright protected— animation in front of me. Woodhouse was the head butler and my personal manservant. Pam was the cook and demanded that I start importing sugar and alcohol before she was shushed by Woodhouse. Carol was a maid. Krieger was chancellor and Cyril was the steward. Archer and Lana were in charge of security. Ray was the marshal in charge of everything from the stables to the blacksmith.
I stared in disbelief at the motley crew kneeling in front of me. No wonder my inner mind was in such shambles. I was overcome with an irrational sense of anger at myself.
“Arright, listen up,” I barked, my voice echoing around the room. “I swear to God that I will fire every single one of you and hire circus clowns to replace you if you keep fucking things up. No joke. Circus clowns, got it?”
I ran a hand over my face as Ray pissed himself. “The only reason I’m not putting a boot in your asses right now is because I realise that you’re aspects of me, and the people you represent are pretty damn good at their jobs when they give enough of a shit to actually do them. As a team, you’re dysfunctionally fantastic and always seem to come out ahead no matter the odds.”
Heaving a sigh, I continued. “Things have changed and I need to get my shit together. I’m going to need every one of you to pull your weight and help me help you. Get back to your duties, I’ll meet you one on one later.”
My subconscious caretakers scurried out of the room.
“I’ll have one of the maids tend to the piss,” Woodhouse assured me.
“Never mind that,” I snapped. “I honestly had no idea my mind was such a shit show. I’m very disappointed in myself.” I pictured the Angry, Sad, and Disgusted counters on my personal movies clicking up. “Show me what needs to be done and let’s get started.”
During Woodhouse’s walking tour, everything clicked into place. This was some altered version of Bodiam castle, a location that was on my bucket list of places to visit. The royal council room, located behind the throne room, contained a “living” tapestry on the wall that showed the castle and surrounding land in real time. The castle was located in the middle of a small lake, and a single wood bridge led to the mainland. A small town surrounded the lake and a wall encircled the town. Outside the wall, the land was an irregular patchwork of forest and field, with a stinking swamp to the south. The entire “kingdom” was maybe ten miles across, surrounded by impassable mountains with innumerable creeks that fed the lake which drained into the southern swamp.
“Zombies are the problem, sir.” Woodhouse said, as I surveyed the living tapestry of my mental domain.
“Zombies?” I prompted.
“Yes sir, Zombies” Woodhouse continued. “Nasty bitey things that come in from the mountains and harass the peasants. They’ve gotten especially worse over the last few months. The soldiers do what they can, but they seem to have lost all motivation. Probably because they haven’t been paid.”
“And who pays them?”
“Typically chancellor Krieger is in charge of financial matters, although Steward Figgis has taken over the duty, sir.”
“Then let’s make Figgis our first stop.”
“Very good, sir.”
The office of the steward was run by Cyril Figgis, who managed the kingdom in my absence. It was overflowing with paperwork and charts, books and scrolls piled high on every flat surface. Cyril was desperately attempting to tidy things when Woodhouse and I walked in.
“Yo..you..your majesty,” Cyril stuttered, bowing low. Scrolls fell from his overloaded arms, spilling across the floor. He dropped to his knees and scrambled to gather them up. “I didn’t expect you to visit so soon. Please forgive the mess, housekeeping has been slacking…”
This was the guy who ran things while I was conscious.
“Shut up, Cyril” I said. “You’re responsible for everything in this office. That includes keeping it organised and tidy.”
“Y..yes milord.”
“It’s my understanding that you’re in charge of making sure everyone gets paid. So why aren’t we paying people?” I asked.
“We’re nearly out of Fuks, your majesty. I’ve been saving them for emergencies.”
“Fucks?”
“Fuks,” Cyril explained, pushing a pile of books off a large chest and opening it. Reaching inside he pulled out two small bags and emptied them on top of his cluttered desk. “Gold and Silver Fuks, the currency of the kingdom. I can’t maintain the kingdom when I have no Fuks to give.”
Behold the subconscious kingdom of Vincent J. Carter, it runs on Fuks.
“So how do I get more fuks?” I asked, examining one of the coins. It had an image of me on one side and symbol on the other that could be interpreted as “peace among worlds”.
“You kill the zombies, your majesty.”
Of course I do.
Woodhouse and I left Cyril’s office and headed towards the office of the chancellor where Krieger worked. It seemed that Cyril took over financial matters when Krieger became erratic and proposed luring all the zombies into the city and setting it on fire. Not sure how that corresponds to my own self-destructive behaviour, but I’ve had some dark thoughts over the last couple of months and I’m sure they’re reflected here.
Krieger’s office was much neater in comparison to Cyril’s, but it wasn’t by much. Shelves lined the walls and were filled with an array of questionable items, including a still snapping zombie head in a jar. While the office of the chancellor was supposed to be in charge of financial matters, it looked more like a dodgy rummage sale.
Krieger was launching sword blades at a pig carcass when we walked in.
“What exactly are you doing?” I asked, standing in the doorway.
“Hm? Oh, your majesty!” he said, turning around and bowing deeply. “I’m testing a new invention. It’s a spring loaded hilt that shoots sword blades. Very useful for our soldiers.”
“Stupidest idea ever,” I snapped. “I hate everything about it.”
“Okay,” Krieger said, tossing the hilt into a nearby pile of junk. “But don’t blame me when you need to shoot a sword at a zombie and don’t have one.”
“So why aren’t you managing the financial affairs? Collecting taxes, paying people, stuff like that?”
“Because the population has declined so much none of that matters?”
“What do you mean?”
“Wellll, the population represents things you care about,” Krieger said, going into lecture mode. “And the zombies and other monsters are real or imagined problems in your way. Since you don’t care about too many things the population has shrunk to just what’s needed to keep everything running on the bare minimum of fuks. And since you don’t seem to have any long or short term goals, there’s no need to kill off the zombies and get more fuks. Everything is fine just the way it is.”
“No, it’s not Krieger” I said, grinding my teeth. “My mind is in a shambles. It’s a joke. I want it fixed. No, I want it better than fixed. I want it improved.”
“Oh! I’ve got just the thing for that!” He said, digging around in his pockets, “It’s a spring-loaded hilt that shoots swords!”
Pam and Cheryl were hanging out a gallery window jeering at Archer and Lana sparring in the inner courtyard.
“What the hell are you doing!” I snapped
They whirled in surprise and then dropped into deep curtseys.
“Your majesty!”
I took a deep breath, trying to regain my centre. “Get to work cleaning this place up. Find a room, clean it, and move on to the next. Start with my bedroom, then the throne room and the council chamber, then everything else.”
Cheryl spoke up. “Can’t do it. We got no fuks to clean with.”
“You need fuks to clean?”
“Gotta buy stuff,” Pam said. “Cleaning supplies, food. You wanna eat, you’re gonna have to spend some fuks.”
“Talk to Cyril,” I ordered. “Tell him I said to get you supplied.”
They ran off in the direction of the stewards office.
I watched Archer and Lana bashing each other enthusiastically through the window.
Several minutes later the sparring couple stopped and bowed when Woodhouse and I stepped into the inner courtyard.
“Your majesty”
“My liege”
“Enough,” I said. “If you have enough energy to smash each other, you have enough energy to smash zombies. Tell me what I need to know so I can start gathering fuks.”
Archer shrugged and spoke first. “You just kill the zombies and other monsters. They drop fuks.”
“Anything special about the zombies?” I asked. “Are they fast? Do people get turned into zombies when bitten?”
“Nope,” Lana said, resting her wooden sword on her shoulder. “Most of them are slow shamblers and just need a good wack to the head to kill them.”
“Some are special,” Archer interjected. “Occasionally you’ll have some fast ones, or those that need holy water to kill. They’re just bad memories, figments of your personality that need to be eliminated. Some are worse than others.”
“The zombies are bad memories?” I asked, imagining all the bad memories that I had.
“Memories, thoughts, insecurities, metaphysical mumbo-jumbo,” Woodhouse supplied. “They are endless, but constant vigilance can keep them under control.”
“So let’s get started,” I said. “Lead the way.”
Lana and Archer lead me up to the parapet over the front gate where I looked over at the dozens of zombies milling about aimlessly in front of the entrance to my mind. Pulling out my gun, I began to pick them off, easy as shooting fish in a barrel. The crack of my spell pistol attracted more zombies and I dispatched them with ease until no more were left around the gate. As I fired each shot I could feel some sort of existential energy flowing from me, draining some hidden reserve.
“Gather up the Fuks,” I commanded. “And Lana?”
“Mi’lord?”
“There’s no excuse for this. From now on, I expect the walls to be clear of all zombies.”
“Yes mi’lord,” she said, giving me a small bow.
Turning to Archer, I shook my head. “You’re obviously my personal narcissism, so just try to stay out of Lana’s way, or better yet - try to kill more zombies than her. If you think you can.”
Archer scoffed. “No contest. I took top marks in sharpshooting.”
“That means I should expect to see results by tomorrow. I look forward to it.”
Archer looked panicked for a moment then smiled. “Sure, I can give you results.”
Turning back to Woodhouse I said “Show me what else need attending.”
Woodhouse led me through the town that represented my mind, pointing out each business that had fallen into disrepair, suggested others that needed improvements, and additions that would benefit me. In the distance, I could hear Lana and Archer shooting at the crowd of zombies and with each echoing shot I felt a tiny bit better about everything.
[INDEX]

"I wanted to nab the thief while Exbo here wanted to get his buddy back. Although it was our first meeting, we fought together. That guy may have escaped, but we've decided to battle together from now on. Even if I meet new Pokemon along the way, I will still treat them the same way, because to me...Pokemon are my partners! We work alongside for the same goals, because...we are partners!"
Gold was raised around Pokemon, his home having so many it was known as the Poké House to those in the community. But after a chance encounter leads to his Pokemon being stolen and being the sole witness to a boy stealing Professor Elm's Totodile, Gold gives the police a false description of the thief before setting out with a Pokedex and a Cyndaquil to hunt him down himself. Along the way, Gold demonstrates a deceptive fighting style, often using his cue to send Pokeballs in strange directions and using other members of his team to hide the key play another Pokemon is performing, as well as an ability to nurture the full potential out of any Pokemon from as early as them being in an egg, earning him the moniker of 'the Hatcher'. With these skills, Gold would prove a key player as he faced off against the likes of a revived Team Rocket, a masked man seeking to rewrite time, and even Arceus themselves.
All feats are tagged with the chapter they appear in.

Gold

Physicals

Strength

• Shattered the Masked Man's mask with his cue¹⁷²
• With Silver, holds back a large metal boulder⁹⁸

Durability - Blunt Force

• Kicked in the face by Crystal⁴⁶⁰
• Struck in the back by Whitney's Miltank¹⁰⁵
• Kicked away by Sapphire while in a suit of armour³²⁸
• Hit back by the Masked Man¹⁷²
• Slammed into the ground by Ho-Oh¹⁶⁶
• Sent flying back from Arceus hitting the ground near them⁴⁵³
• Hit away by Arceus⁴⁵⁴
• Kicked by Arceus⁴⁵⁹

Durability - Other

• Thrown about by water as an island sized water construct strikes the Battle Tower³²⁹
• Sent flying into a distant wall by Guile³³⁴
• Bitten on the hand by Silver's Totodile⁹⁸
• Falls a distance onto a beach after his Mantine was struck out of the air by Lugia¹⁴⁸
• Struck by Masked Man's Deliberd's Icy Wind¹¹³
• Caught in Masked Man's Deliberd's Blizzard¹¹³
• Seemingly caught in Jirachi's Doom Desire³³⁴
• Seemingly knocked back by a beam from Arceus⁴⁵⁹

Speed

• Dodges an attack from a group of Bellsprout⁹⁷
• Dodges a beam from a Gyarados¹¹²
• Dodges a beam from Arceus⁴⁵³
• Dodges a spike trap suddenly appearing from a wall⁹⁸
• Saves a girl from an Ursaring strike¹⁰¹

Skill

Cue Shots - Regular

• Curves a Pokeball behind an opponent⁹³
• Hits Aipom's ball to the top of a tree, where they're then released⁹¹
• Hits a fleeing Pokemon with enough force to relocate its jaw¹⁰¹

Cue Shots - Ricochet

• While being swept away in a river in a storm, hits Exbo's ball so it rebounds off of two surfaces and gets him safely to shore⁹⁵
• Bounces a pokeball repeatedly between the walls, ceiling, and floor of a room with a single strike to make several Yanma dizzy¹⁵⁴
• Ricochets a Friend Ball repeatedly around two Pokemon before hitting a Heavy Ball at their two feet, sending both pokeballs to Gold's and Silver's hands respectively¹⁰¹

Other

• Throws his cue to block a pair of shutters from closing on Emerald³²⁸
• Drops a distance onto a board on a rough sea, maintaining balance for a short distance due to it being 'not so different' from skateboarding¹⁴⁶

Intelligence

Battles

• On numerous occasions has used a Pokemon as a distraction while a second Pokemon enacts his actual strategy in secret¹¹¹
• Returns Aibo before curving his ball around an opponent, allowing him to strike their behind⁹³
• Has the other Pokedex holders withdraw their Pokemon before having Aibo ride his skateboard with them at Guile Hideout, allowing all the Pokemon to be released directly on top of him³²⁹
• Throws Aibo in front of a charging Donphan before he uses his tail to pull himself to safety, in that brief moment successfully confusing the Pokemon and causing them to charge into a wall⁹⁶
• Goads a team of Bellsprout into stacking on top of each other, allowing Cyndaquil to take them all out at once⁹⁷
• Has a school of Remoraid attack Lugia's mouth, stopping the legendary from closing it and being able to use Aeroblast¹⁴⁸
• Calculates how long a Pokeball could endure a Dragonite's Hyper Beam, uses the fact that said Hyper Beam is not changing direction in midair to tell that its trainer isn't present to give it orders, and uses this to get the Dragonite to attack in a specific direction and allow Togbo to attack them from behind⁴⁴⁴

Deception

• Drops a straw doll from a tree as a decoy, allowing him to get behind the Masked Man to attack him¹⁰⁴
• Disappears in a smokescreen, intending to drive the Masked Man into pursuing him through a forest, while he had actually climbed a tree so he could climb back down when the coast was clear to save a trainer and his Pokemon¹⁰⁴

Other

• Modifies his skateboard with bike parts¹⁰⁵
• Hits Aipom's ball up a tree to release him before using a heavy pack as a counterweight to lift him up⁹¹
• Uses the fact Yanma have 360 degree vision in a plan to make them dizzy and have one drop a baby¹⁵⁴
• Has Aipom strike the centre of a stack of blocks, allowing the rest of his team to easily smash through the entire stack while they previously were only able to break through a few, winning him the round against a Machamp which could easily smash through stacks on his own⁴⁴³
• Memorizes all the obstacles on a course by going along it the wrong way on his skateboard, allowing him to guide his Togepi around it flawlessly when the Pokemon was blinded⁴⁴²
• Had the foresight to hold onto Emerald's broken mechanical hand, causing Archie to grab hold of it and allowing Gold to let him drop³³⁵

Gear

Pokedex

• His Pokedex shows a Pokemon's strength and attacks⁹⁵
• Identifies four Pokemon at once¹⁰³
• Identifies an attack as the Pokemon is lunging towards him¹⁰³
• Can perform trades with other Pokedex owners¹⁰⁹
• Is capable of tracking the energy of a specific Pokemon the owner has made contact with¹⁴⁹
  • Can't do this if the Pokemon's been caught by someone else⁴⁹
• When three Pokedexes in possession of their true owners are close to each other, all of them make a noise¹⁴⁶

Pokeballs

• Pokemon are held in pokeballs, which have a translucent top which Gold can see Pokemon through⁹³
• They and their Pokemon can return to Gold's hand as he wishes⁹³
• Protect Pokemon from attacks, though they can be destroyed⁴⁴⁴
• Pokemon can move their balls from the inside¹⁰⁷

Cue

• A cue, which he uses to perform trick shots with his pokeballs⁹³
• Clashes with Guile Hideout's sword³²⁹
• Used to quickly change his direction on a skateboard⁹⁶
• Throws it to stop metal shutters from closing on Emerald³²⁸
• Is collapsible³²⁸
• Holds it in his clothes, not his bag¹⁴⁵

Other

• His pokegear allows him to make and take calls⁹⁵
• A pair of goggles, used to protect him from the likes of Exbo's Smokescreen⁹⁸
  • Protect him from Sunbo's Flash¹⁰⁰
• Carries rope to climb up a pagoda⁹⁷
• Uses a skateboard to get around⁹⁵

Other

• Is given the title of 'The Hatcher' by Professor Oak, with him causing a Pichu egg to hatch the instant he touched it¹⁷⁸
  • This ability was developed due to him having lived with Pokemon he considered his family all his life, and allows him to draw out the full potential of a Pokemon¹⁸⁰
  • A Pokemon will have its personality influenced by the emotions felt by Gold as they hatch¹⁷⁹
• Guides his team into winning the Skill, Jump, Stamina, Speed, and Power Pokeathlon courses^442-443
• Despite all his skill, still cheats at pool at a games corner¹⁰⁷

Aibo the Ambipom

As An Aipom

Physicals

• Breaks a block with his tail⁴⁴³
  • When deliberately placing cracks on the centre of the top tile, Aibo could smash through ten plates at once⁴⁴³
• Holds up Gold while clutching a branch with his tail⁹¹
• Lifts up and throws an enormous Snowball⁴⁴²
• Thrown about by water as an island sized water construct strikes the Battle Tower³²⁹
• Struck away by a Donphan's Horn Attack⁹⁶
• Catches a nearby Sunkern in his tail so that Gold can catch them⁹⁹
• Reacts fast enough to catch Gold after the floor's broken beneath them⁹⁷
• Rapidly spins Gold's cue with his tail to enhance Exbo's fire³²⁸

Moves

• Scratch - Aibo repeatedly scratches a foe⁹¹
• Swagger - Confuses a Hoothoot, causing it to attack its trainer instead of falsely calling out that a timer's up⁹²
  • Is briefly in front of a charging Donphan before getting pulled away, with the Donphan getting confused and crashing into a wall⁹⁶
• Double Team - Creates an illusionary duplicate, allowing him to dodge an attack¹¹³
• Agility - Greatly increases Aibo's speed¹⁷²
• Baton Pass - Passes stat increases, such as that gained through Agility, to another of Gold's Pokemon¹⁷²
• Double Hit - Allows him to attack opponents on opposite sides of him at the same time with his tail, and immediately causes him to evolve⁴⁴⁸

Other

• Hears the sound of Unown through a wall in some ruins¹⁰⁰
• Has the ability Run Away⁴⁴²

As An Ambipom

Physicals

• Sent flying back from Arceus hitting the ground near them⁴⁵³
• Poked back by Arceus⁴⁵¹
• Hit by a beam from Arceus⁴⁵⁹

Moves

• Double Hit - Strikes a foe with his tails⁴⁵¹

Other

• Is level 83 and has the Technician ability⁴⁵⁶

Exbo the Typhlosion

As A Cyndaquil

Physicals

• Breaks through a wooden floor⁹⁷
• Gets bitten and scratched by Silver's Totodile⁹⁸
• Intercepts an attack which is about to hit Gold¹⁰³

Moves

• Ember - Shoots a tall pillar of fire from his back, burning Silver's hand while he's hanging on to a tall branch⁹⁴
  • Knocks out a tower of Bellsprout at once⁹⁷
  • Hits back a Primape while boosted by Sunbo's Sunny Day¹⁰⁸
  • Rapidly heats a large metal boulder, allowing Totodile to cool and shatter it with Water Gun⁹⁸
  • Creates a ring of fire around Silver to stop him from escaping⁹⁴
  • Breaks through a wall in a ruin¹⁰⁰
• Tackle - Exbo charges into an opponent⁹⁸
• Smokescreen - Covers an area in obscuring smoke⁹⁸

Other

• Used to cook food for Gold, though he increases the heat and quickly burns it¹⁰⁰
• Can't emit fire while bound up¹⁰⁰

As A Quilava

Physicals

• Alongside Silver's Croconaw and Crystal's Bayleef, stops Lugia's wing from crushing their trainers and hold it up before evolving¹⁴⁸
• Struck by Silver's Croconaw's Water Gun¹¹¹

Moves

• Ember - Works alongside Silver's Croconaw and Crystal's Bayleef to slightly deflect Lugia's Aeroblast¹⁴⁷
• Double Team - Creates an illusory duplicate, making Croconaw bite down on nothing¹¹¹
• Flame Wheel - Creates a wheel of fire around him, catching several Pokemon¹¹⁴

As A Typhlosion

Physicals

• Breaks three blocks with a punch⁴⁴³
  • When Aibo deliberately placed cracks on the centre of the top tile, Exbo could smash through ten plates at once⁴⁴³
• Alongside Silver's Croconaw and Crystal's Bayleef, continues to hold up Lugia's wing to stop it from crushing their trainers¹⁴⁸
• Thrown about by water as an island sized water construct strikes the Battle Tower³²⁹
• Sent flying back from Arceus hitting the ground near them⁴⁵³
• Hit by a beam from Arceus⁴⁵⁹

Moves

• Blast Burn - A stream of fire which, alongside eleven other Pokemon, destroys an island-sized water construct^335-336
  • Seems to knock back Arceus' head⁴⁴²
• With an unnamed fire attack enhanced by Aibo rapidly spinning Gold's cue, creates a powerful blast of fire which knocks back Guile Hideout³²⁸

Other

• Is level 84 with the ability Blaze⁴⁵⁶

Sunbo the Sunflora

As A Sunkern

Physicals

• Bounces extremely high, bringing Exbo's Pokeball up close to a flying Skarmory⁹⁹

Moves

• Flash - Emits a bright light which blinds several Team Rocket grunts and their Pokemon¹⁰⁰
• Growth - Presumably increases Sunbo's strength, though its effect has not been clearly shown¹⁰³
• Mega Drain - Presumably absorbs energy from an opponent, but it's not seen in use¹⁰⁴
• Sunny Day - Increases the power of nearby fire-type moves¹⁰⁸
• Giga Drain - Absorbs the energy of a Magcargo and a Sloking alongside Crystal's Parasect¹⁶⁴

As A Sunflora

Physicals

• Sent flying back from Arceus hitting the ground near them⁴⁵³
• Hit by a beam from Arceus⁴⁵⁹

Moves

• Sunny Day - Increases the strength of Exbo's fire attacks¹⁷²
• Solar Beam - Used off-screen⁴⁵⁹

Other

• Is level 75 with the ability Chlorophyll⁴⁵⁶

Polibo the Politoed

As A Poliwag

Moves

• Water Gun - Sends a Donphan flying back with a stream of water¹⁰⁸

Other

• Draws water from underground while using water type moves¹⁰⁹

As A Politoed

Physicals

• Breaks a block with a punch⁴⁴³
  • When Aibo deliberately placed cracks on the centre of the top tile, Polibo could smash through ten plates at once⁴⁴³
• Alongside Red's Poliwrath, breaks apart Archie's armour³³⁵
• Struck with Guile's knee³³⁵
• Sent flying back from Arceus hitting the ground near them⁴⁵³
• Hit by a beam from Arceus⁴⁵⁹
• Struck by Masked Man's Deliberd's Icy Wind¹¹³
• Caught in Masked Man's Deliberd's Blizzard¹¹³
• Dodges a beam from a Gyarados¹¹²
• Dodges a beam from Arceus⁴⁵³

Moves

• Water Gun - Harms Tyranitar with a stream of water, possibly shooting three streams at once though this could simply be representing how fast Silver's Murkrow is moving to block it¹¹¹
• Whirlpool - Creates a whirlpool at the Lake of Rage to stun a Gyarados¹¹²
  • Uses the destroyed rubble left behind by a giant Piloswine to defeat it, with Silver reasoning that it can do so because the Piloswine's earthquake shockwaves made the solids act like liquids¹¹⁰
• Double Slap - Repeatedly hits an opponent¹¹²
• Dynamic Punch - Polibo lunges forwards with a powerful punch¹¹³
• Hypnosis - Puts a crowd of Pokemon to sleep at once¹⁶⁶
• Perish Song - Instantly knocks out Masked Man's Delibird, but also knocks out Polibo himself¹⁷²
• Bounce - Used off-screen⁴⁵⁹

Other

• Is level 80 with the ability Water Absorb⁴⁵⁶

Sudobo the Sudowoodo

Physicals

• Lifts up a large piece of rubble¹⁶⁶
• No-sells Whitney's Miltank's Tackle and Exbo's Ember¹⁰⁵
• Sent flying back from Arceus hitting the ground near them⁴⁵³
• Hit by Silver's Ursaring's Fury Swipes¹¹¹
• Bitten by Ho-Oh¹⁶⁶
• Hit by a beam from Arceus⁴⁵⁹

Moves

• Focus Punch - Strikes a Rhydon, knocking it out¹⁰⁶
• Low Kick - He extends his leg forwards at crazy angles, tripping up an opponent¹¹¹
  • Seemingly used fast enough to create afterimages⁴⁵⁵
• Dynamic Punch - Lunges forwards with a powerful strike which breaks stone¹¹¹
• Mimic - Sudobo uses the move his opponent's most recently used, allowing him to trade Fury Swipe blows with Silver's Ursaring¹¹¹
• Mud Slap - Throws up mud in a failed attempt to hold off Ho-Oh¹⁶⁶
• Flail - After being bitten by Ho-Oh, sends the legendary flying away¹⁶⁶
• Rock Tomb - Used off-screen⁴⁵⁹

Other

• Is level 78 with the ability Sturdy⁴⁵⁶
• Is capable of growing to create a highly convincing tree disguise, shrinking when revealing himself¹⁰⁶
  • Tricks a Gligar into landing on him like this in order to catch it¹⁰⁷

Togebo the Togekiss

As A Togepi

Physicals

• Immediately after hatching knocks Gligar back a short distance before getting hit away¹⁰⁷
• Seemingly endures part of a Dragonite's Hyper Beam after the Pokeball took the brunt of the attack (with said beam being able to destroy stone), then takes out the Dragonite with an attack to the back of the head⁴⁴⁴
• Struck away by a Dotrio⁴⁴²
• Sent flying back from Arceus hitting the ground near them⁴⁵³
• Struck away by Arceus before being hit point-blank by a beam⁴⁵⁹
• Hit by a beam from Arceus⁴⁵⁹

Moves

• Metronome - Uses a random move, in its debut appearance hitting a Gligar with a beam strong enough to knock them out¹⁰⁷
• Double Edge - Pierces into a Tyranitar's foot, taking it down¹¹¹

Other

• Is level 81 with the ability Hustle⁴⁵⁶
• Runs at full pelt around an obstacle course, following Gold's commands to dodge obstacles⁴⁴²
• Is a delinquent from birth due to Gold taking them to Game Corners while they were still an egg¹⁰⁷

As a Togekiss

Physicals

• Flies carrying Gold⁴⁶⁰

Moves

• Double Edge - Charges into Arceus, staggering them⁴⁵⁹

Tibo the Mantine and 20 Remoraid

Moves

• Water Gun - The Remoraid all blast Lugia with streams of water, forcing its mouth to stay open¹⁴⁸

Other

• Flies through the air with Gold hanging on with his cue¹⁴⁷

Pibu the Pichu

Moves

• Enhanced by Raikou's power, releases a powerful electric blast dubbed Super Rising Thunder to attack Pryce¹⁸⁰

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- - - - -
Ceele strolled through the damp grass along the outskirts of the village, a spring in her step and the dwindling scent of dew following behind. It rained yesterday, which had prevented her from going out to gather supplies, but the mild morning air had been accommodating enough for her to get an early start and make the trip. She was glad she did.
One hand clutched her new prize to her chest, while the other held a fraying wicker basket filled with herbs and some edible roots she gathered by exploring the forbidden forest. Despite her reservations regarding where she chose to go, her excitement now lingered like a steady thrum of shifting stones, giving her energy that defied how long she had been walking. She all but pranced beneath the burgeoning night's sky, gleefully toeing the line between the dirt pathways of the settlement’s outskirts and the trees of unclaimed land. Normally, her path back home would never be so close to the village, but she was far too gleeful to mind. She had come back with a sense of fulfillment and a rare object—or if not rare, then hopefully of great value.
It was hard to point to any one specific reason that she came across the orb. There had always been a ‘draw’ during her travels, urging her that there was something missing in her life, yet it was no more than a mild whim to walk in a particular direction more often than not. Once she reached this part of the continent, she was compelled to wander, never quite able to explain why she obliged the sensation besides having nowhere in particular to be. Even when she finally settled somewhere, it stayed in the back of her mind, suggesting that she was close to whatever would make the pit of vacancy go away. She ignored it, purposefully distracting herself with her work and responsibilities, yet that could only last so long. When she awoke this morning with plans to resupply, and all of her newfound spots had been picked clean by wildlife, she turned to the depths of the forest where she was warned not to tread. It was all too easy to follow the subtle tug in her chest through the loose justification.
The urge to be somewhere grew unbearable with every step closer to the forbidden area. That sense of having a direction she needed to go became stronger and stronger, until she was well into land long since forgotten. She came across an overgrown depression in the hillside, and was entranced by the foreboding image. Something about the cave just…beckoned her. She was far too weak to resist.
Horrible tales echoed into her ears as whispers of fearful voices, warning and unending, yet but a dull drone compared to her hammering heart. She navigated the trees and brushed aside unkempt vines, stepping into the cavern with a mix of expectation and trepidation, then laid eyes on the small obsidian stone perched atop a crumbling pillar. The feeling of needing to travel somewhere…stopped.
The pull was absent, which was why she held the orb close instead of placing it into her basket. She wasn’t sure what it was exactly, but she recalled overheard tales of hidden gemstones, deep cavernous expanses, and the untold terrors that lay within. Comparing the scenes of those fables to the cave seemed foolish now; it wasn’t some torturous chamber, but a dusty depression in a small hillside. Besides, anything this pretty was sure to be worth a fair sum, and she needed the coin. Yet the thought of selling the precious-looking stone was a conflicting one. She shook off the thought for the time being, turning her attention back towards where she was going.
Shadows stretched and faded as the moon stole the last of the illumination afforded by the sun, replacing it with a calming glow that caressed the log frames and thatched roofs of various homes. A star-filled sky came into prominence as clouds lazily drifted away, revealing the promise of tomorrow’s fair-weathered arrival. It was too late for anyone to notice her treading on the edge of their town while lost in thought, but she was still careful not to get too close to the houses or livestock pens where people might be finishing the evening’s duties. It was best that they didn’t see her returning from a place she was told not to go. Still, her feet carried her near the dwellings as she took in the noises.
Ceele enjoyed the comforting chatter from a distance. Indistinct words floated freely. Meaningless gossip and warm goodbyes were exchanged between friends and family. Places of various occupations were dark and quiet, only the faint contented mewls and clucks of livestock coming from their pastures as they ate what was recently put out for them. No metal rang throughout the streets as it was struck inside a centralized smithy, no heated bartering came from an overactive trade house, and the crunch of dirt beneath transport or merchant wagons was absent, replaced by the rapid steps and yelps of children rushing to their homes before it got too dark out. It was all just gentle conversation and life drifting through the wind, taking the rustle of leaves along for the ride, just so she could hear it. Tranquil, in a word.
She wondered what it would sound like if she were yet one more voice within that crowd of kindness. Would it be loud like the larger cities? Would she struggle to maintain a thought with so many stray topics floating about? Would she once more yearn for the peace and quiet of solitude that she had grown used to, or would she immerse herself, free of judgment and laughing like the carefree young that scampered about? Did thinking about it even matter?
Her smile fell from its genuine intensity—still worn, but not as fully. She glanced downward as her stride lost its jubilant bounce, her tail losing its sway as her grey eyes examined the dry black scales that adorned her body against her wishes. It was the ugly hue of tarnished oil, unlike the skin of any other kobold she had met. Some had reds or greens, yellows or whites, while most were between a sandy tan or earthen brown. The rainbow of peculiarities was displayed by the lucky few, and she was one of them…
…Yet she was different in the worst of ways.
Even if she would rather any other colour, she supposed it was that way to make sure no one came near without accepting the unspoken risks. That was what her mother always said, anyway, though the woman hardly feared much of anything in her old age, and dedicated herself to giving her offspring all the love she had left to give—a perk of living a full life. She would always help her daughter bathe, complimenting the colour of what most were unnerved by. That was more than a decade ago now, however. Ceele’s parents had passed on while she was still young, and she took to travelling not long after, working at what she could to afford what little she needed. Never for long, though—just enough to get to the next town between where she was and where the urge to go lay. There were certainly moments she looked back on fondly, but the journey had taken its toll.
The crude material of her ‘dress’ was coarse, old, and heavy, but it helped ease the worst of spring's chill—even if it was more of a modified sack than proper attire. Still, it was all she had after the last of her clothing fell apart, and giving the repurposed material a name that reminded her of something else made it less uncomfortable to wear, somehow. It would have to do until she could afford a pitying seamstress or the like. Until then, she would pretend she didn’t look so desperate, even if it only highlighted her status and made finding work difficult.
But it did. The dishevelled garment was a far cry from the wonderful silks or breathtaking designs she had seen some women wear, harshly marking the distinction between herself and those of affluence. The clothing of commoners was also a leap in style and quality, so she couldn't say her attire was up to even modest standards. No matter how hard she squinted, and no matter how much she fantasized otherwise, she seemed every bit like the vagrant she was, down to the soil embedded in the curvature of her claws and the stains throughout her fabrics. She looked like a serf from the more oppressed lands, yet they too wore crude cottons, which said a lot about how she appeared to those who had never lived a life of servitude. It was obvious that she was an outsider. That she didn't belong amongst the rest. It made changing something as simple as her appearance all the more difficult; prospective employment always saw a young woman who seemed more likely to steal or swindle than make an honest day’s living.
There was one good twist of fate in recent memory, however, and she came upon the result of it after leaving the slowing bustle of the village behind. Her steps carried her through a small copse of trees on the outskirts of town, the small shaded path leading to the back of a large, carefully pruned clearing, a scattering of fruit-bearing trees providing even darker shadow than the already dim moonlight. She skirted along the aging fence on the border that kept predatory animals away, carefully hoisting herself over the barrier where a large vegetable garden she was responsible for tending resided. If one were to tell her she would be living in such an area several months ago, she would have smiled politely and walked away, yet here she was.
A modest, warmly lit home occupied the middle of the clearing, sitting front and centre when one approached from the village path. It looked quite cozy, surrounded by berry bushes that were just beginning to bloom as the last dregs of winter slipped away. A front patio displayed a nice table and well-loved chairs, the rustic appearance only adding to its charm as a place where friends and family spent the warm summer afternoons. A smithy to the left of the house functioned as an additional heated building during the colder months, but usually served as a storefront and to muffle the sounds of hammered iron, though that had become less common. An old stable was nearby, close enough to be accessible, but not so close as to disturb the once occupying animals with sounds of iron craft. It hadn't seen a horse in quite some time, apparently, so it was mostly a workshop for whatever tasks didn’t require fire or metal.
There was a long history attached to each little detail—from the scuffs along the wooden siding to the depressions in the ground where daily routine wore into the earth. Every fault suffered throughout the years was matched by a thousand quirks that made it feel welcoming, like the house itself was merely waiting for the next friendly face with one of its own. She knew that the inside of each building would look just as cared for.
Her concern lay outside, however. It was a comparatively miniscule space just barely visible through the sheltering trees, true, yet it was where her efforts turned into tangible results, and where a stranger’s trust was painstakingly repaid. Once overgrown grass had been laboriously trimmed, the weeds plucked and disposed of, and now nothing distracted from what she could claim she had done.
The small plots of rock-bordered soil had little buds of growing vegetables, a sense of pride never failing to bloom in her breast with the knowledge that it would be barren without her touch. When her troubles and concerns grew heavy, and fears of the future or spectres of the past loomed over her head, she could look at where she had brought life where it wouldn't otherwise be. Some days, that was enough. She smiled in appreciation at what was admittedly amateur work, the night’s sky helping to hide any inevitably made mistakes.
She enjoyed the sight for a moment longer, then turned to walk towards a neglected old tool shed that was well out of sight within the trees, far away from whatever warmth and comfort the larger house offered to everyone and anyone. She put a hand on the degrading wood of the entryway, giving one last sad smile at the garden as she dismissed selfish thoughts of taking the eventual harvest for herself. A breath cleared the uncertainty from her voice, and she pushed open the door.
“I'm home!”
= = = = =
It took a while for Altier to adjust to his situation, and even once he accepted that his mana wasn't being siphoned, he was still reeling from confusion. He had spent centuries with every year passing by without his notice, yet now he was painfully aware of each creeping second languidly dragging on with the expediency of growing grass. It was as disorienting as it was painfully nostalgic.
Time was something he was never good with, and it only got worse as a dungeon. He'd get lost in creating rooms, corridors, creatures, and whatever else needed doing, only pausing to watch or listen to the few adventurers he became interested in. There was a stint where he spent what felt like hours agonizing over new abilities or options while he let the system manage things in the background, though he supposed it might have been much longer. So many wasted days, yet he still hadn't managed to try everything he had gained access to. Some abilities were simply too niche, came with concerning titles, or held descriptions that made him wary. Anything with ‘Decay’ in the name was instantly ignored—he didn't need more reasons to fear his affinity, and from the few he took the effort to read through, they were always vile.
But his existence for the moment was no longer like those endless stretches spent pondering the minutiae of what would help his adventurers grow stronger. Now, he could follow the rhythmic sounds of footsteps and steady breathing that set a calming pace. They were someone else's, yes, but they contextualized how easy it was to slip away without the subtle noises of life that he had long since surrendered to help his family. Of course, there were more differences that he noticed since being removed from his crumbling cavern, and his sight was the newest change.
He never gave much thought to how far he could see before. Why would he? As a man, his world extended as far as he could fathom, yet was also confined to the room where he spent his days, and as a dungeon… Well, who was he to consider distance when an event happening miles away could be seen with a flicker of thought? Nothing was too far when it was within his creation. Or his ‘body,’ he supposed. Sadly, his entire perception currently consisted of the small sphere of his obsidian core, and maybe a finger's length beyond it—which is to say, not much. He could make out the fine details in the dirty burlap he was held against, and how pale moonlight slowly took over the blurred reds of sunset, but hardly anything more. It was all just frosted colours after a certain point, and he found it infinitely frustrating. He just wanted to peer beyond the haze and scaly hand holding him to confirm that the sky he remembered was still there. Alas, the sunlight faded at too quick a pace, yet one oh so agonizingly slow.
The ensuing darkness gave him nothing to do but think about where he was, not that he had any ideas. He was too curious about why he wasn't dead to bother much with his blurry surroundings after the soft-spoken kobold abducted him, thus why he only belatedly noticed how limited his worldview had become. There might have been a forest beyond his cave, but the greens and browns were gone, and the sounds of steps through brush was replaced by the distant din of a village. An idle curiosity pondered if he would recognize any descents of his ‘family tradition’ adventurers there, but he was being carried by what most considered a monster, so likely not.
That short musing was short-lived, however, and he brought his focus back to the matter at hand. He supposed he was being taken somewhere specific, but that was an obvious deduction, considering he was taken at all. The why of the matter was less so; for what purpose would someone want a Decay-aligned core? He hadn’t heard of them before…well, before he was made into one, but he couldn’t imagine many uses. Maybe he was being sold? His…kidnapper? His sudden companion seemed rather pleased by their discovery of him, so that might be the case, and it was morbidly amusing to think that a frail, sickly young man might one day become a coveted, highly valuable item. His abduction could also be a part of some cult’s nefarious activities, but he didn't want to think about that too hard. He experienced enough odd ceremonies from the adventurers who took the time to tell him their tales.
Either way, he wasn't in the dungeon anymore, and he couldn’t see where he was going. He tried to query his menu to glean an answer, but was met with a scrambled mess he suspected read ‘Synchronizing…’ and little else. It gave him a headache trying to make sense of it—which he didn't know was possible anymore—so he dismissed the text and distracted himself with blurs from whatever diluted senses he still had. There wasn’t much to observe other than the constant footfalls and the flicker of shadows on his companion’s burlap garment. They might have travelled through brush again, but it was too dark to really say for certain.
Eventually, there was something new. He heard an old latch rattle and rusted door hinges groan, then a shuddered clack that confirmed he was now in a building. His kobold acquaintance gently cooed at something before moving about the nearly pitch-black space, finally setting him down on a… He wasn’t sure what it was, besides old and wooden.
[D$#@m$n E@$*ded]
The headache from before became a blinding migraine that suffocated him under a flash-flood of suffering. Seconds passed in abject torture until it blissfully abated, the mental blinks clearing his mind enough to notice a change in his existence. Specifically, he could actually see something besides the rotting wood grain he was placed on top of.
And it wasn’t anything promising…
He was more or less in the centre of a room no bigger than twelve paces by maybe ten. Not a terrible size for a space, but it was clearly never meant to house someone. His resting place looked about as neglected as he surmised; it was an upturned feeding trough, he supposed, since calling it a table seemed too generous. The surface was rife with holes and degraded iron, so it was something that once saw regular use before being replaced and tossed into storage, never to see the light of day again.
Actually, most things in the room seemed to fit that description. The window shutters were installed with metal hinges that had since rusted them closed, the misalignment letting in a draft—and whatever weather was outside as well, most likely. A poorly carved bowl sat on the floor, the stain beneath it hinting that it collected any rainwater that slowly dripped from the leaky roof. The wooden floorboards looked old, splintered, and in need of maintenance or replacement, though an effort had been put into abrading it somewhat smooth lately.
A tiny and decrepit fireplace was to the left of the door upon entry, its brickwork slowly crumbling due to weathering and age. It was sized more for keeping the room warm during mild days than to keep away the frigid chill of night. Its base only held cold ashes, but there was a collection of deadwood and scraps nearby, so that would probably be rectified soon. A small wheel-less cart had been turned into storage against the opposite wall, some herbs and other foraged items stowed away in it for future use. Various things he remembered seeing his father and brothers use in the fields were scattered about, too. It was nostalgic to see, honestly, even if his recollections had blurred over time.
Bundles of tattered blankets formed a pair of nests in the far corner, the smaller of the two had a pile of rough plants nearby. That answered his silent pondering of the room's purpose somewhat, though he was pretty sure the bedding material was salvaged, and there didn’t seem to be any hay or padding underneath whoever was sleeping on it. He didn’t know what to think about the weeds; they were purposefully placed there, and whoever did so had taken the time to wash them, but it was still strange.
He couldn’t see a doorway besides the entrance, yet most of the hallmarks of residency were put where space could be afforded, however crude. All in all, he surmised that it was a gardening shed of sorts, and his new acquaintance apparently lived here. He wasn't sure what he was expecting when a creature he had only read about came into his dungeon, but it wasn't being brought to a rundown and decrepit shack for unknown purposes.
Even if he had been raised by parents who made a humble living at the best of times, and they had emptied their coffers for unsuccessful attempts to ease his ailments, his acquaintance's living space made him uncomfortable. His family's house was never anything fancy, true—it shared some of the worn qualities that inevitably gathered over the years—but it was never this bad. His home benefited from a father's touch keeping it robust and a mother’s love keeping it warm, whereas this place had seen neither in quite some time. Oh, there was evidence that such was once the case; a wall was adorned with carefully made and well-spaced hangers for the various gardening tools, though the implements themselves had become a victim of neglect. That being said, he could make out the fresh soil and recent scratches exposing furrows of silver, so they were seeing use again.
A scrape and clack of flint drew his attention to his kobold companion. They were kneeling in front of the fireplace, methodically sparking life back into a dead flame with twigs and dried leaves. A slow, steady breath into the reddened base illuminated its face with a dull orange glow, revealing its weary visage and the permanently etched smile that rested beneath its cold grey eyes. The black-scaled kobold looked tired, if he were to guess—much the same as Altier did when he spent countless days watching everyone living a life he could never have through the mossy window of his bedroom. He was probably humanizing it too much. Still, he was surprised by the muted pang of sympathy, and how he would feel much more than blithe curiosity after spending so much time alone in the crumbling crypt of his own making.
A mental breath cycled through him as he looked at the odds and ends yet to be observed. Hardly anything else was of note—everything else was degraded and neglected, too. He did notice a nest of blankets move though, which was as good a distraction as any. The answer to his previous ‘pile of weeds’ inquiry poked a tiny nose from a crease in the fabric, then rapidly pawed at the blankets to dig itself out. Altier stared at the creature in both recognition and confusion.
It was a rabbit…or at least it looked like one, assuming you were to also describe a porcupine and a sea urchin as well. He was pretty sure he didn’t remember any hare that had jagged metal-tipped fur, nor that had said fur arranged into a row of spiked horns that flowed down its spine, terminating at a large fluffy tail, which was equally bizarre to see. The whole of its coat could double as a weapon, with semi-sharp barbs sticking off seemingly at random, yet he remembered an adventurer saying most animals used that sort of thing defensively. He increased his focus as he tried to make sense of the odd creature. Surely he would have heard about—
[Hoppittttttt#%%÷ — Ferro-o-orabbit-it (Ma%$le)
Abil—]
[Null]
[Er0Rrrrrrrr—]
[Und#$f—]
He bit back the pain caused by the sudden intrusion of his menu, blanking out the text and mentally retreating to hide from the source. Did he just inspect something? How? Shouldn’t his entire…‘framework,’ was it…? Yes, that was it. Shouldn’t that have been corrupted? Why could he see the creature’s information when his entire framework was damaged? That was the first ability he lost, so why is it the first to be functional? How was it functional? Was it? It did just spit garbled text at him, but it was something, and that was more than he had gotten from it in a very long time. If it was somehow working—no matter how poorly—then that left the question of why he hadn't heard of anything called a ‘ferrorabbit’ before, assuming he read that correctly.
A soft thud vibrated the tro— table, startling him out of thought. He turned his attention to the button nose wiggling erratically at him, the short, stubby muzzle leading to surprisingly expressive and curious red eyes. Dull brown fur jutted off in random tufts and patches, changing to a darker tint on its paws and the upper half of its ears, while the tips of its spikes were a muted hue of iron. It still seemed just as soft as the less pointed variety he remembered, if a touch dirty. Upright ears twitched this way and that way as its head vigorously shook, eventually settling on pointing in his direction when it calmed down enough.
It was apparent that he had its undivided attention…for all of a few seconds. His scaly companion called something out in their foreign tongue, and whatever conclusion the pointy-furred animal came to, it seemed more interested in the kobold, parting from him after nudging his core with its nose.
[Cre-e-e—]
[Errrrrrr0r: Undefiiiiiiii—]
[Acceeeeep-t-t-t??]
[Yeeee— s s / Nnnnnnn—]
He winced at the intrusion, but the contents detracted from the pain. He couldn’t remember the system ever asking him a question without his explicit intent being involved. It wanted him to…accept something? Was it the system prompting him, or the animal? What was he to accept?
[Creatuuuuu—]
[Acce-e-e-%#@ed!]
…What?
= = = = =
“Hoppit, that's not food!” Ceele admonished half-heartedly, placing a larger branch on the burgeoning flame before she got to her feet. She wasn’t actually that worried; the stone was as big as his head, and she was pretty sure he couldn't bite into it. Hopefully. “Come here, momma has a treat for you!”
The ferrorabbit playfully bumped the gemstone and jumped off the low table, landing with a soft thud that belied how heavy he was for his tiny size. He wiggled in excitement, his ears flailing and releasing a slight clack whenever the two connected. It got even louder when she grabbed her basket and put away the useful herbs, taking out a specific item that she had gathered just for him. The little bun wasted no time in scurrying over and standing tall on his hind legs to judge if the offered plant was to his liking—and it was, based on how he dug in with enthusiasm. She stifled a laugh as she contentedly watched him nibble away on the treat, ignoring the guilt that came with knowing she couldn't afford proper vegetables for him. He had a hard life too, and it tore at her to have so little to give.
She came across Hoppit a year ago, during a storm that worsened while she was travelling between towns. The day had darkened to night in spite of it still being about noon, but the weather didn't care for how bright it was supposed to be. Wind and rain became a typhoon, forcing her to seek shelter in a thankfully abandoned den of what was probably a larger animal. She was fine with waiting out the squall, since the stone roof over her head was more than she usually had back then, but the sounds of dull bangs and thuds near her hideaway was followed by cries of animals yelping in pain. Curiosity won over reason, and she left the safety of her shelter to see what was causing the disturbance. Truthfully, she was hopeful that she'd come across scraps or the like, her hunger driving her forward, and she could always turn back if it seemed dangerous. Yet when she arrived at the source of the commotion, she found herself thinking of anything but food.
Two predators had fought over a small burrow, both trying to dig out a meal and taking offence to the other doing the same. What they didn’t know was that they were assaulting the home of ferrorabbits. Specifically, the home of an angry, protective, and well-fed mother that was keeping her newborns safe from the storm when predators decided to try their luck. From the scene Ceele came across, it was certainly obvious why most people dislike trying to hunt the creatures.
Sadly, the rabbit didn't survive an attack from two predators, but she did make their victory pyrrhic; neither could do much about their hunger with their bodies full of cuts and holes, and it was only a matter of time before they succumbed to blood loss or infection. The mother's sacrifice meant that the babies had avoided the imminent threat, but they were left unattended as a consequence, and it took an opportunistic bird swooping down to shake Ceele out of her shock. Despite her subsequent hurry, she only acted in time to save one of the orphaned young. The warren was new and barely dug out, which meant that it didn’t take much effort for the kits to be found—by both her and hungry maws. All she could do was scoop the ball of fluff into her arms and run back to the cave before anything else tried to eat it.
In retrospect, it was a stupid decision for a number of factors. She barely had the resources to supply herself, and an attempt to raise offspring of any type would only make the inevitable heartbreak worse. But when she saw how quiet and scared he was… How his tiny, shaking body calmed in her arms, those terrified red eyes seeking comfort… She should have just walked away when she knew there wasn’t going to be anything to fill her stomach. She should have put the baby animal down and let nature take its course…yet the preciously furry face stole her heart far too quickly for it to grow so cold. The next day was spent backtracking to the nearest town to get him something suitable to eat, which used most of her meagre savings. Still, it was worth every coin.
Hoppit had been accompanying her ever since. He grew quickly, transitioning from something she saved that stormy night into a presence she had grown to love like a child. The little lagomorph would bounce along beside her during her travels, then ride in her arms as he rested—though the latter happened with worrying frequency as of late. She hadn’t learned much about the springy herbivores, but she knew enough to say that he wasn't as big as he should be, nor was his fur as sharp. No matter how startled he was, his spiky coat never managed to do more than stiffen slightly, which was apparently a side effect of poor diet, according to snippets of conversation she had overheard on the topic. She wanted him to be healthy, but she didn't know what he needed. Not many farmers raised ferrorabbits, and those that did were far away, so she didn’t have anyone to ask what she should be doing. Her best course of action was to give him what little she had.
Ceele was well aware of how he would be better off on his own, but he followed her whenever she tried to set him free. Hoppit just kept launching into her arms and wiggling his ears, ecstatic that he was with her again, uncaring that food was scarce and that they spent most of their days travelling. No amount of cold nights spent bundling up under the tattered blankets she managed to find ever dampened his spirits, and he was content to eat the grass or flowers whenever he felt like it, oblivious to the fact that he wasn’t getting enough nutrition. He would dig and excitedly drag back oddities that he found, and the one time he found a plant that looked particularly good for him, he insisted that it be shared with her.
A black pit still lingered in her chest when she recalled how pleased he was while he munched on the rare vegetable he discovered, then how distressed he became when she wouldn’t have any as well. He bumped and nipped at her, all but begging her to eat. His ears pinned back against his head, his fur bristled in a way she hadn’t seen since. It was only when she took a small bite and let him inspect the new teeth marks that he seemed to calm down, but perhaps she had been looking too deep into the actions of her tiny friend. All she could say for certain was that he was scared she was going hungry.
A morbid thought wondered if his first mother had refused food shortly before being attacked, and he—as small and simple as he was—had connected the two events in his mind, making him absolutely terrified that something would happen if Ceele didn’t have something too. All of that fear, and desperation overwhelmed him, just because she was happier watching him eat. She was determined to erase that issue. She would find something that needed a worker and earn enough to feed them both. One day, she would be able to smile at how big and healthy her little fluffy boy had become, but until then, it was becoming increasingly difficult not to think about how she was spending so much time growing vegetables and fruit that he couldn’t have…
Every morning was an exercise in tending to the gardens while actively shoving down images of a pleased ferrorabbit happily eating the results. That never went well; no matter how determined she was to complete her duties without a single selfish thought, most tasks were done while picturing his full belly and delighted bounces. There were a few weeks until the fastest of the crops would be ready for harvest, and Ceele would have to collect them while fighting the urge to bring back just a few for him.
She couldn’t, because she knew exactly how quickly that could escalate. It would start small—A vegetable here, a fruit there—but seeing Hoppit happy was one of the precious few good things she had in her life. Crossing the line would only become easier each time. They couldn’t risk losing their new home over greed, and she was already betraying the trust given to her by housing a wild animal, especially one known to be a pest for crops. She didn't want to know how angry it would make her benefactors if she was caught taking their vegetables for one.
No matter how tame and precious Hoppit was, and no matter how well he listened, they would only see him as the same creature that ruined harvests in droves. Thus was why she had to tell him to stay cooped up by himself while she was working or scavenging. And to her surprise, he did.
Honestly, she had made the initial request with the expectation of needing to carry him back into their home until he understood that she wasn’t leaving him forever. There wasn’t much she could do to stop the ferrorabbit from digging through the old wooden building if he wanted to get out. He wouldn’t need to damage anything either—a rotting board on the door only needed a little push to nudge it out of the way, and his natural curiosity made sure he was aware of it. But no, Hoppit was well-behaved as always, keeping hidden until she walked through the door, where he would leap from the shadows to personally show her how good he was and how he stayed put like she asked him to. It never stopped amazing her that he had such a surprising level of understanding despite being an animal, and that was to say nothing of how young he was.
All that intelligence, joy, and companionship he offered her…and yet the best she could give back to him was the weeds from the garden and the odd plant she found while scavenging…
Soft clacks of flicking ears dragged her from her pondering, her mind returning to the present. Hoppit finished his treat of the small plant, then bounced in place and scurried over to his bowl of water, perfectly happy to have eaten only that. He was so joyful with how little she provided, approaching every day of scarcity with the same enthusiasm she could never muster, as if certain that everything would be alright.
“It’s bedtime, Hoppit,” Ceele announced through a soft sigh, stoking the fire with enough branches to hopefully last the night. The ferrorabbit perked an ear in her direction, then sat on his haunches to extend the rest of himself up, his two little forepaws adorably held to his chest as he inspected the room like he always did. She smiled and made sure everything was stored away, then laid down on her bundle of blankets, covering herself with the warmest one. Hoppit bolted over to snuggle once he decided everything in the shed was up to his standards, throwing himself to the floor in a dramatic flop of comfort. Her quiet laughter subsided as they both settled in for the night, her tail completing the rabbit’s encompassing cuddle, but her eyes fell towards the obsidian orb on the table, her thoughts following suit.
It sat there, just as she left it, as benign as anything else ever placed atop the improvised furnishing. Yet there was a sense of ease and purpose as well. The old wooden trough seemed…important with its adornment firmly laid upon its surface, and she couldn’t puzzle out why. She was starting to doubt her earlier excitement.
Should she sell it? Would anyone know where it came from? Would anyone know what it was, or if it was worth anything? If she could get even a modest sum for it, she would be able to buy clothing, food, and new bedding. It would be easier to convince someone to give her work if she was dressed better and wasn’t so thin, and then she would have the income to slowly improve both of their lives. She could pay for a wandering merchant to ask a ferrorabbit rancher about the animal, even if it would take time to get back to her, or maybe she could hire a local if they needed to go near one for some reason. The cost didn’t matter to her as long as it happened.
But there was something else bothering her about the idea of selling the stone. She had travelled so far with a tug in her chest, only for the feeling of wanderlust to dissipate as soon as she held it. Was that a sign? She was never one for things like ‘fate,’ but a niggling doubt in her mind discouraged the idea of making a profit off her discovery. Even if what she could gain was so very tempting, and even if Hoppit would be happier if she did…
She tore her dampened eyes away and closed them, ignoring the burning trails running across her face. It would be another early morning, and she needed to sleep so she could take care of the garden. Decisions like this could wait. Once she had nothing else distracting her, and she had time to properly think about it, she would see how she felt about the stone.
Eventually, she dozed off with Hoppit pressed against her chest, and a longing in her heart.
Next
—
A/N: Patreon and Ko-fi will be 1 chap ahead this time around, and I've set it so everything from the lowest tier up can read the newest trashfire! Anything above that is sheer show of love. Hope you enjoyed!

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Hi there! First post on reddit so please forgive me if i'm not using any fancy text.
I've been DM'ing now on and off for around near 5 years, originally I ran for 2 separate friend groups with Vastly different likes and dislikes. I had to stop one groups campaign due to work schedules and as the such (gotta love adult life ;-;)
So recently my current group consists of close friends so it is quite easy to get things across but it can also be very easy to lose control of the table if we start having jokes and a good laugh.
the above is not the issues I'm having as the DM however the stuff above i'm fine with as long as we are hanging out and having a good time. My issues span from multiple small issues which I will list below Beginning with myself as I know I make plenty of mistakes as I DM but I'm looking for advice to make sure i'm not going crazy and being a C**T with some of my table rules i've implemented
My Issues I need to work on: Note Taking - I lose track of my notes (this has been getting better moved to an app called obsidian which I have stuck with and this seems to be working wonders for me) but still needs work.
World lore - Kinda a addition to the note taking issue I have, I like to chop change some things but I still want it to make canonical sense to the worlds timeline which can be a little messy at times.
Pacing - Oh god I'm awful for pacing sometimes I'm too fast or i'm far too slow my players spend an entire 7 hour session on 1 street corner being my worst example.
Sometimes Retconning Small things - I Don't know if I think its okay to do this, I've only had to do it twice in total I Hate retconning stuff as I feel like if maybe a player that doesn't shine to often finally gets out their shell i'm worried if I retcon something It can really take away from that players motivation.
So above are my issues for sakes of time I'm going to copy paste a recent paragraph I sent to my players parts like player names will be edited of course. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So shappening dudes and dudets, DnD is going to be on the back burner for me for a Little bit cause personally feeling burnt out for a couple reasons that I'll get to in a little bit. So first things first the main thing I'm going to an induction day so I'm hoping I get this job (I got the Job whoop whoop) and DnD will be moved to every 2nd Saturday if thats gonna be a issue we can discuss that down the line. Now couple of mini Issues I want to get off my chest. So the Number 3 joke died ages ago for me and its just annoying so stopping that would be nice thank you, anyone that says it going forward you'll just take 3 damage. Unfortunately the interrupting and pacing is horrendous I'm gonna do my best to keep my focus on the game and I ask so do you. For the time being kinda a add on to the previous my max player count I can do is 6 no more, "Player Name" please let "His Partner" know I do not mind if she watches but I can't have her play not until I feel like the pacing is better and no ones shouting over each other. The Cards, They are fun but i'm gonna rejig them to be less annoying and alot less OP, (I'm removing that bag of holding card) personal thing - If I ask something to do with in the game could you please just acknowledge you have seen it, cause I've typed in plane text plenty of times before and it just doesn't get listened to it starts with one person then everyone else follows if you get me and it can make some little instructions that make things easier for me alot harder. As the DM I want a bit more control So one of the major ones that I ask is NO ONE calls "Roll a persuasion to persuade me" or anything along that lines, it is unnecessary and tbh I find it a bit rude. NO Rape or Rolling Cock size. (its just weird and its disgusting you'd think of it tbh)
There are a few more other things that personally bother me but those are the main ones, the minor ones just consist of 1. Don't Make up your own lore of my own creation and then treat it as cannon, I didn't ask and I don't care.

1. Don't ask for any more custom items, if I give you something be happy and let it be a surprise. 3."did we level up?" i know its a joke but tone it down before it gets worse.
2. If you create a backstory please give me the footnotes of the main points that I can work with, don't give me a lore book about how garfunkle the black white man slain a beast. I won't read it. (Edit - I don't mind if they give me a book to read I do like lore I just mean here that I'd prefer notes of the main points in their characters story)
3. I would prefer Game things are sent on discord concerning characters thats a personal thing, I created the discord for me to be organised and have it all in one place so if you please could just send me stuff on that even if its a dnd beyond link I would like it all in one place. I get this is gonna be alot to read but I hope I get my point across. I am the dungeon master and I want to create a game for you guys to enjoy but I have neglected my own joy for the game and have been more lazy with it because of this. I have alot of stuff to fix from last session especially and I'm gonna try to be more focused on the game and create a better experience and all I ask is please listen, pay attention and any question on the world so you can clarify things you may ask me, if there is any issues during the session call for a break if its that major so we may discuss at the table and if its a small issue we discuss it after the session. I may rule things wrong but i'll attempt to rule it in a way that makes sense and then I shall research and let you know afterwards, I'd rather not search rules in the middle of the game and taking half a hour per turn. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So context for some things the number 3 joke is from shrek "NUMBER 3 MY LORD" and I use magic the gathering cards for little 1 session boons they are a hell of a lot of fun and I'll post under this if anyone else play's DnD and MTG (I'd recommend using the Dungeons and dragons sets for Magic if you wish to try this out)
Revitalize x2 - Add a Medium Potion to Inventory
​
Treasure x3 - Add 100 Gold
​
Choose Your Weapon - Choose one for the Remainder of the Session
Archery - +2 to Range attacks
or
Two Weapon Fighting - +2 to Melee Attacks
​
Curse of Surveillance - You Grow an eyeball onto the palm of your hand, something or someone is watching you (The DM determines who) This curse is passed on
when someone else draws the card or removed with the "Remove curse Spell"
​
Improvised weaponry - You feel compelled to use the first random object as your weapon for the session.
​
Triumphant Adventurer - Roll a D20,
Even Numbers add 3 Platinum to your Inventory.
Odd Numbers Summons a Gold Plated Cocky knight to gloat how rich he is for 1 minute.
​
Hunters Mark - You Gain the Ability Hunters Mark for the Session it does not Require Concentration.
​
Contact Other Plane - You ask anything from the DM roll a d100 to discover the outcome.
​
Hoard Robber - The best robber in all the land has found you and took every bit of coin you have leaving a single fake gold piece.
​
Dawnbringer Cleric - You can Choose One to use throughout the session
Cure Wounds
Dispel Magic
Gentle Repose
​
Priest of Ancient lore - A old Dwarf appears in front of you radiating a holy light asking "Would you like to know the lore of this land?"
​
Boots of Speed - You Gain Extra 15ft Speed for the Session.
​
Silver Raven - A Unknown Vampires Raven Follows you.
​
Check for Traps - You becoming Increasingly paranoid of traps for the session the DM at Random will ask you to check for traps at your feet.
​
Blessed Defiance - You Summon A white Spirit, it says nothing, it is friendly to only you, it will follow and defend you for this session.
​
Chaos Channeler - A wild magic sorcerer Explodes from the multiverse, he looks excited as he transports himself again creating a Minor wild magic effect.

So this is a pretty large post But I am looking for advice on maybe rules I should consider going forward, how to keep proper control of a party of 6 and just anything I should improve as a DM and anything I can further communicate to my players at the table.

I’ve played this game since february 2023, and have really enjoyed it! but, unfortunately, there are some things that I just can’t help but get frustrated with as a disabled person. for context, I have mild cerebral palsy, which largely affects my fine motor skills. due to this, I’m not particularly fast with my game controller. I get disoriented easily and my fingers can’t quite figure out how to handle all the buttons and sticks at the same time. this has become an increasingly large issue when playing the game and I get coin explosions, fish explosions, crop explosions and, well, basically any type of explosion. the main issue is that these explosions only last about ten seconds. for someone like me who has poor fine motor skills, I am not fast enough and therefore I cannot orient myself. This has led to me missing out on large amounts of gems, fish, and other valuables that have explosions. It’s been especially frustrating during the star path as there was a big crab explosion and I couldn’t even get one. so, please, think about even making it a few seconds long, or removing the explosions all together and replacing it with something else. thank u!!!

Hi everyone, I just wanted some advice on my current position to see how I can set myself up nicely in the next decade and see how I'm doing at the minute.
I've recently turned 31 and have always been a bit of a finance and spreadsheet nerd, so have always tracked my person finances ever since I earned an income from my waitering job when I was 14.
I feel as though I'm in a reasonably good position, but wanted some advice how to maximise my 30s to set myself up well going into my 40s. I don't know why, I just feel as though the next decade is quite a big one to set my future self up well. My current position is below:
Salary: £75k (expect this to move to £80k in the next month or two) Take home after tax, NI and company car: £3.9k Another form of income brings in an average of £300 Total take home: £4.2k
My outgoings total about £4k/month give or take. My mortgage and bills come to £2k/month and then we spend an average of £2k/month on food and all activities/holiday funds. We're certainly not materialistic but do spend a fair amount on travelling to different places.
Current finances are: House value £380k, mortgage just under £270k, so £110k equity. Workplace pension: £50k Emergency fund spread across high interest savings accounts: £30k Bitcoin: £40k Vanguard account (mainly S&P500): £15k Total net worth: £245k
The last few years have been difficult, with my income being the only source for the house. My girlfriend has finished a nursing degree which has taken 3 years and is due to start a new role in August on a starting salary of £28k. This will bring in another £1.8k I'm assuming.
Based on that, with my salary and my partner's new source of income, we'd have about £2k/month extra which I'm thinking on consistently adding into the vanguard SS ISA.
My questions I'm hoping for some advice on are the following: - Is the thought of investing all outstanding income into S&P 500/World fund (£2k/month) the best plan? There are months we'll have more than this, but I'd say that's the average. - I've been with my partner for 6 years and she's definitely the one. However I bought the property myself 7 years ago before her and she has only ever contributed the food bills etc. I've always paid the full mortgage and bills etc. She has just over £5k to her name. Are we to just combine everything anyway once we tie the knot? - Is my current position pretty good? I've worked hard throughout my 20s whilst still travelling a lot and having an overall great time. I'm unsure whether I'll want to retire early, but I certainly want full financial independence. (Well aware of the FIRE community and read a lot of their posts). Is my plan through my 30s going to set us up well and make us FI if we stay consistent with the additional income?
Last point, no kids yet and will be a flip of a coin whether we have them eventually. If I was a betting man I'd probably say we will in about 5 years time. I understand this would completely change our path, but we'll cross that if it ever happens.
Appreciate your advice in advance and apologies for the essay.

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Welcome to our roundup of the top 1911 leather magazine pouches on the market. If you're looking to keep your magazines organized and secure while on the range, we've got you covered. Join us as we explore the best options available, focusing on durability, style, and practicality.

The Top 6 Best 1911 Leather Magazine Pouches

1. 1911 Mag Pouch for Organized Gun Access - Experience ultimate organization with the Benchmaster Single Stack 1911 Mag Rack, a lightweight and durable solution designed specifically for 1911 guns.
2. Universal Single Mag Holder for 1911 Compensators - Experience unbeatable durability and custom-fit retention with the C&G Universal Single Mag Holder, expertly crafted by veteran & law enforcement professionals for optimal 1911 compatibility.
3. 1911 Leather Magazine Pouch for Remington, Winchester Rifles - Hunter's American Full-Grain Leather Rifle Clip Holder offers a durable solution for rifle enthusiasts, accommodating various rifle clip styles for a perfect fit.
4. Adjustable Black Leather Magazine Pouch Holster - LockLeather's black ambidextrous OWB magazine holster ensures secure adjustability, perfect for 1911 single and double stack mags.
5. Vintage 1916 Officer's Leather Holster Set and Magazine Pouch - Experience a touch of history with this expertly handcrafted, premium leather 1916 M1911 .45 holster and mag pouch set, complete with a beautifully replicated brass buckle, making it a must-have for World War enthusiasts.
6. Stylish Cowhide Leather Magazine Holder - Stylish leather magazine holder, crafted with real cowhide, featuring a portable design with leather handle and belt loop, perfect for organizing magazines and documents on shelves or in the car, backed by 4.4-star rating and 85 reviews.

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Reviews

🔗1911 Mag Pouch for Organized Gun Access

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The Benchmaster 1911 Rack has made my life so much easier. With its quick access feature, I can get my hands on the right magazine every single time. I love how it keeps my magazines securely held in place whether they're loaded or unloaded.
The durability and build quality of this rack is impressive, and it's light enough to take with me when I travel yet sturdy enough to handle the wear and tear of everyday use. Its moisture-resistant design ensures my mags stay protected in any weather conditions. On the flip side, the price tag seems a bit high for this particular product, but after using it, I must say it's worth the investment.

🔗Universal Single Mag Holder for 1911 Compensators

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Imagine this: after a long day at the range or simply enjoying your time at home, you're done with holstering and retrieving your magazines. You reach for your trusty mag holder - a solid, reliable, and convenient accessory that's been your reliable companion for months. But suddenly, it's gone. You need a new one. Fast. Enter C&G's Universal single mag holder.
This is the kind of mag holder that makes you say, "I never knew I needed this until now! " It's a game-changer, designed to hold your magazines in place, making your life easier and hassle-free. The C&G's Universal single mag holder is made with high-quality materials, ensuring it lasts long, stays sturdy, and remains a reliable tool in your arsenal.
The Universal aspect of this product is a testament to its versatility, as it fits almost all pistols or mags. And let's talk about the fit - it's made for a purpose and designed to ensure that your magazines stay where they should. No more fumbling or worrying about your magazines falling out when you need them most.
But what about the looks? Well, let's just say it's not an eyesore. It manages to blend form and function, seamlessly becoming a part of your daily arsenal. The fact that it's made in America by the best professionals in the field is a cherry on top.
However, like any other product, it does have a small downside. The clip might take some getting used to, as it's a little bigger and wider than what most users would prefer. But it's a small cost to pay for a product that performs so magnificently.
In conclusion, the C&G's Universal single mag holder is a top-notch product that delivers on its promises. It's a reliable and efficient accessory that makes holstering and retrieving your magazines a breeze. It might have a minor issue with the clip size, but overall, it's a must-have for anyone who wants to ensure their magazines stay secure and easily accessible.

🔗1911 Leather Magazine Pouch for Remington, Winchester Rifles

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I recently tried out the Hunter 27-152 Belt Magazine Pouch for Remington 740, 742, Winchester 88, and was quite impressed by its functionality and build quality. This pouch proved to be a reliable and stylish accessory for my hunting gear. The leather brown color added a touch of elegance to my setup, and it has held up well over time.
The one minor issue I encountered was that it only fits one magazine at a time, which might not be ideal for those who need to carry two or more mags frequently. However, when considering the convenience and durability this pouch provides, I think it is a worthy addition to any hunting enthusiast's gear collection. Overall, I'm glad I made the investment and would highly recommend giving it a try.

🔗Adjustable Black Leather Magazine Pouch Holster

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The Urban Carry LockLeather OWB Single Magazine Holster Ambidextrous Black was a game changer in my daily carry system. With its sleek and comfortable design, I could easily move around without the holster getting in the way. The adjustable leather fit perfectly and allowed for smooth and easy magazine swaps. I particularly appreciated the ambidextrous feature that made life all the more convenient for a right-handed shooter like myself.
However, the only downside I encountered was the fact that the magazine holder wasn't caliber-specific or double/single stack specific. This meant that I needed to pay extra attention whenever swapping magazines to ensure that the fit was perfect. The holster also had a slightly stiffer leather feel compared to others, but this didn't significantly hamper its usability.
Overall, the Urban Carry LockLeather OWB Single Magazine Holster Ambidextrous Black has been a reliable choice for my every day carry system. Its sleek design, comfortable fit, and ambidextrous features make it a standout choice for those seeking a reliable and versatile magazine holster.

🔗Vintage 1916 Officer's Leather Holster Set and Magazine Pouch

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As a leather enthusiast, I was thrilled to try out this set of World War era leather accessories. The Officers Leather Belt Set stood out for its premium leather quality, with the M1916 1911 . 45 Holster and Leather. 45 Mag Pouch both expertly crafted to resemble their original counterparts.
One thing that immediately caught my eye was the beautifully reproduced brass belt buckle, which added a touch of authenticity to the set. However, I did find that the leather holster could be a bit tricky to thread through the belt. Other than that, this leather set was a comfortable and attractive addition to my daily carry.

🔗Stylish Cowhide Leather Magazine Holder

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A stylish leather magazine holder that's reminiscent of a trendy handbag, this rectangular-shaped accessory is perfect for any living space. Crafted from quality leather with synthetic fabric inside, it's firm, long-lasting, and versatile. The dark brown and white cowhide exterior, paired with a brown inner lining, adds a sophisticated touch to your interior while the leather handle in a belt hook and loop design makes it easy to transport.
Though some users have reported receiving defective products with incorrect coloring, the majority of reviewers are thrilled with the product's overall look, sturdiness, and ability to store magazines and other documents. Easily portable, it measures 15 inches in height by 5 inches in width by 17 inches in length and fits seamlessly into various settings, including at the office or on a vacation.

Buyer's Guide

When it comes to selecting the right 1911 Leather Magazine Pouches, there are several factors you need to consider. This guide will help you understand the important features and considerations to make an informed decision. Remember, the goal is to find a pouch that fits your handgun and your personal style, while providing the necessary protection and convenience.

Pouch Design and Material

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The design and material of the pouch are crucial factors to consider. High-quality 1911 Leather Magazine Pouches are typically made from genuine leather, offering durability and a natural aesthetic. The material should be both soft and rugged to ensure the pouch can withstand daily use without breaking or tearing.

Size and Compatibility

Ensure the pouch is the right size for your specific 1911 handgun and magazines. Check the diameter and overall length of the pouch to guarantee a proper fit. A good-quality pouch will be designed to accommodate different magazine sizes and handgun models.

Secure Mag Pouch Fitment

The pouch should have a secure fit for your magazines, minimizing any potential movement or rattling during use. Look for pouches that feature reinforced stitching around the magazine compartment and retention straps or fasteners to keep things stable.
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Retention and Release

A good magazine pouch should be easy to use and secure your magazine in place without any hassle. Test out the magnetism or retention system of the pouch by attempting to remove the magazine, then reattaching it to check for a smooth and reliable release.

Practical Considerations

• Consider the placement of the pouch on your body. Some users prefer pouches to be attached close to the handgun, while others want them farther away to better accommodate their movement.
• Think about your primary shooting hand when selecting a pouch. A pouch may be designed for left- or right-handed use or have adjustable attachments for increased flexibility.
• Consider the aesthetic of the pouch. Some shooters prefer a more traditional, understated look, while others may opt for more flashy or decorative designs.

Final Thoughts

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When purchasing a 1911 Leather Magazine Pouches, it's essential to consider factors such as the pouch's design, material, and compatibility with your specific handgun. Also, keep in mind your personal preferences and shooting style. By following this guide, you'll be well-equipped to find the perfect magazine pouch for your needs and style.

FAQ

What are 1911 Leather Magazine Pouches and why are they important?

1911 Leather Magazine Pouches are specifically designed to securely hold magazines for 1911-style handguns. They are important because they offer a practical and convenient way to carry spare magazines while on the go, ensuring that users always have an extra mag when needed.
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What materials are these pouches made of?

1911 Leather Magazine Pouches are typically made of top-grain leather, which is known for its durability and premium quality. Some manufacturers may also use other materials, such as nylon or synthetic materials, for added strength or specific features.

Are these pouches available in different colors and styles?

Yes, 1911 Leather Magazine Pouches are available in various colors, styles, and patterns to accommodate individual preferences. Some popular options include black, brown, tan, or even custom or designer patterns for those who want a more personalized look.

How should I properly attach the pouch to my 1911 handgun?

The pouch should be attached securely using the provided belt loops or snap straps. Make sure the pouch is positioned in a way that allows easy access to a spare magazine when needed.

Are 1911 Leather Magazine Pouches compatible with all types of 1911 handguns?

In general, 1911 Leather Magazine Pouches are compatible with most 1911-style handguns. However, it's always a good idea to check compatibility with the specific model you have before purchasing to ensure a proper fit.

How do I care for and maintain my 1911 Leather Magazine Pouch?

To maintain the quality and longevity of your leather magazine pouch, it's essential to clean and condition it regularly. Use a high-quality leather cleaner and conditioner, and avoid exposing the pouch to excessive moisture or sunlight.

Are there any other alternatives or additional accessories that I can use with my 1911 Leather Magazine Pouch?

Yes, there are alternatives to leather magazine pouches, including nylon or synthetic options. Additionally, some manufacturers offer holsters or accessory kits that can be used in conjunction with the magazine pouch for even more versatility.
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Fresh out of college and board exams at 21, I immediately started earning a living and providing what I can for the family. Call me a breadwinner if you may. A lot has changed in my life, from profession to last name, but providing for my first family has always been a constant for me. I am 30 years old now.
In 2020, my parents decided to end their marriage after I stepped in and gave them an ultimatum on what they wanted to happen with their relationship and our family. I basically got tired from all the scream battles and breaking things in the house, or everyone giving everyone cold treatment, there was no in between. There was a point where my father was nothing but deflective and even physically abusive to me and my siblings (especially the youngest, got beaten up multiple times). Mother was just always emotionally-absent and dismissive. I was 26 then, my younger sister 24, and our youngest brother 21.
In the process of their separation, dad wanted to sell our family home, take half of the money and go back to his parents to a far island province. Mom strongly refused, but I told her that if they really are separating, there's no point in keeping the house, and that I will help her get another house to live in (which I did). She did many ways to convince dad not to sell the house but dad was not budging, so she reluctantly gave in in the end.
In 2022, my dad would frequently message me and my siblings how he was deeply regretful of his decision to leave, he was sick and apparently running out of the money he took from selling our family home. He asked to let him live with us again. At this time my mother was in a new relationship and they were kind of on&off living together, my siblings and I were living our separate adult lives too. We forgave him, but obviously what he asked was impossible because there was nowhere to return to.
In December 2023, on the day of my mother's birthday, my father died. He was a heavy drinker up to his 30s, but more than that he was a chainsmoker, I guess up until he couldn't smoke anymore. Some may say it was only a matter of time for those to catch up to him, especially because he was never health-conscious, never had a good diet and never exercised properly.
I saw it coming the day he left us, but it still devastated me. I remember how much I admired and loved my father, or at least the version of him before he turned to his abusive ways. He was my superman and top comedian as a kid. He was all that before the marriage and money problems began.
What hurts more was that we were not able to go to his wake and burial because of financial problems. Despite that I still took a loan to give my aunt money for his hospital, funeral and burial expenses. It was the best I can do, as going there is so costly I would rather help them bury my father properly with the money, even if it means I would not see the remains of him one last time. It still hurts a lot. I am trying to move on day by day, but there is a large hole in my heart now he is gone, and I can't even visit his grave.
Fast forward to yesterday, my brother messaged our mom for me about something because I am not currently in good and talking terms with her, and I promise you it was for a very valid reason. My brother showed me what mother said to him about how she is so stressed about me not wanting to talk to her, about how she wanted to just leave and disappear because she is not wanted, the usual gaslighting lines. Honestly, she was always like this. She never acknowledged anyone's struggle but her own. She can make bad decisions but we were only allowed to sympathize because we can now understand things as adults, even if we got hurt or are still hurt.
What I cannot fathom about everything she said to my brother was how she "finally understood why my father left us". And that she might just do the same until the last of her remaining days, saying she is "ready". She said she plans on going home to her hometown with her siblings so they can take care of her since we would not do it. At this time she is living in a house I bought using her money from selling our family home as downpayment, and my own income to pay for the remaining balance monthly under a 30-year loan.
I always knew she was not happy about how I convinced her to let the family home go and start again. I made peace with that indifference knowing it was the way to stop all the abuse and let everyone move on. What I was not aware of is how she thinks it was my fault (or her children's fault) that my father wanted to leave in the first place. How she can have the audacity to say that is shaking me to my very core, thinking how much trauma we got from their toxic marriage. So much trauma that I decided I never want to have kids.
I feel almost betrayed at this point, knowing all these revelation from her and after all I have done for the family for the last nine years. To be fair, I always had that sinking feeling that I everything I do will never be enough, now I can confirm it is true. I am so hurt that I do not want to have anything to do with her until she dies. But I know that my love and understanding for her will always kick in. I'm just lucky I live quite far from her now so I can physically distance myself at least.
But how do you go from here?

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Looking to enhance your 1911 revolver's performance and accuracy? Look no further than our roundup of the top compensators available on the market. In this article, we'll introduce you to the best-rated compensators for the classic 1911, providing you with the information you need to make an informed decision.

The Top 13 Best 1911 Compensator

1. Comfortable 1911 Inside-the-Waistband Holster for Optimal Concealed Carry - Experience unparalleled comfort and superior concealment with the C&G Holsters Covert IWB 1911 holster, expertly designed by Veterans and Law Enforcement in America.
2. Precision Competitive Holster for 1911 4.25'' - Kydex, Aluminum, Adjustable - The Pro Ball Joint Competition Holster transforms your 1911 4.25'' into a precision and performance-driven shooting tool, with adjustable ride height, aluminum ball joint, Kydex shell, and optic compatibility for an unmatched competitive edge.
3. Speed Master 2.0 Leather Chest Holster for 1911 Pistols - The Speed Master 2.0 is a versatile leather chest holster for 1911 pistols and DA revolvers, featuring an open top design, adjustable tension unit, and convenient paddle or belt slot attachments for a custom carry experience.
4. Premium Western 1911 Inside-the-Waistband Holster - Experience ultimate comfort, versatility, and durability with the Galco Royal Guard 1911 Inside-the-Waistband Holster, designed for real-world concealment and perfect for semiautomatic guns and double-action revolvers.
5. Durable Tactical 1911 Compensator for Enhanced Performance - The BCMGunfighter Compensator Mod 7 - 5.56 is engineered for tactical purposes, providing effective muzzle rise reduction, flash suppression, noise dampening, and side pressure control, making it a top choice for serious shooters.
6. Hybrid Titanium Compensator for 1911 Pistol - Enhance your 1911 handgun's performance with the EGW Hybrid Titanium Compensator, perfect for Steel Challenge and Bianchi Cup competitions, featuring reduced loads and seamless integration into international orders.
7. Premium 1911 Inside Waistband Holster - The Vedder Holsters 1911 w/out Rail 4.25" RapidTuck holster, designed for Colt Commander frames, offers a comfortable IWB carry with premium leather and molded Kydex, perfect for various carry positions and proudly made in the USA.
8. Speed Master 2.0 5in 1911 Concealed Holster with Paddle and Belt Options - The Galco SM2212RB Speed Master 2.0 holster offers versatility and customization with its adjustable belt slot and paddle attachment methods, providing a perfect carry solution for 1911 Compensator users.
9. Universal Single Mag Holder for 1911 Compensators - Experience unbeatable durability and custom-fit retention with the C&G Universal Single Mag Holder, expertly crafted by veteran & law enforcement professionals for optimal 1911 compatibility.
10. Stainless Steel 1911 Gun Compensator - Experience minimal side blast and noise with Bravo's BCMGunfighter Compensator Mod 0, a stainless steel 7.62mm AR10 accessory that ensures maximum recoil mitigation, muzzle-rise compensation, and flash reduction.
11. Premium Independence Leather 1911 Holster with Reinforced Belt Loop - The Independence leather holster is a premium 1911 5" Government with Rail Only OWB holster, offering maximum protection, comfort, and ease of use for your firearm.
12. Galco TacSlide Belt Holster for 1911 Compensator: Fast, Concealable, Economical - Experience seamless concealment and swift draws with the Galco Tac Slide Belt Holster for your Colt Kimber Para 1911 5" - the perfect blend of steerhide and Kydex for unbeatable durability and comfort.
13. CNC 7-Port 5-Chamber Comp Cone for 1911 Handguns - The EGW 11830 CNC 7-Port 5-Chamber Comp Cone is a high-quality compensator made from heat-treated stress-proof Carbon Steel, perfect for use with standard-length barrels and custom hybrid or bull barrels with the proper threading.

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Reviews

🔗Comfortable 1911 Inside-the-Waistband Holster for Optimal Concealed Carry

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Over the past few months, I've had the opportunity to try out C&G's Inside the Waistband Covert holster for my 1911. The first thing that struck me was how well-designed and comfortable it was. As someone who carries most of the day, the last thing I want is my holster to be uncomfortable or distracting.
One of the standout features was the solid locking retention. It gave me peace of mind, knowing my firearm was secure when I was on the move. The holster was also designed to fit most RMRed Dots on the market, which was a nice touch.
However, there were a couple of cons I noticed. First, the open bottom allowed for threaded barrels and compensators, but it could be a bit challenging to get a perfect fit for my specific firearm. Secondly, the 1.5-inch belt clip could be a bit snug for my thicker belt.
Overall, my experience with C&G's Covert holster has been mostly positive. The holster offers a comfortable and secure fit, and the craftsmanship is top-notch. While there were a few minor drawbacks, the pros definitely outweigh the cons.

🔗Precision Competitive Holster for 1911 4.25'' - Kydex, Aluminum, Adjustable

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As a shooting enthusiast, I recently came across the 1911 4.25'' No Rail Pro Ball Joint Competition Holster, and I must say, it has greatly enhanced my experience. Its adjustable ride height, which allows me to fine-tune my grip, is a game-changer.
The aluminum ball joint provides a smooth, sturdy connection that ensures a reliable hold, while the Kydex shell offers a perfect fit. Plus, the optic compatibility adds a touch of convenience. However, I also noticed that the holster can be quite heavy, which might affect my mobility during competitions.
Overall, this holster has proven to be a valuable investment for any serious shooter.

🔗Speed Master 2.0 Leather Chest Holster for 1911 Pistols

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I had the pleasure of trying out the Galco SM2212R Speed Master 2.0 1911 5in Tan, and I must say, it's a fantastic choice for gun enthusiasts. This versatile holster offers a sleek design and comes in both paddle and belt slot configurations, ensuring you can choose the carry method that suits your needs best.
One of the standout features of this holster is the high-quality premium steerhide construction. The build feels sturdy and reliable, giving me confidence in its performance. The adjustable tension unit is a convenient feature that allowed me to customize the holster's grip, ensuring my firearm stayed securely in place.
However, there were a couple of downsides I encountered during my experience. The slight butt-forward or neutral cant can vary depending on the firearm, which might not be ideal for everyone. Additionally, the holster might not fit as snugly as desired on larger pistol barrels.
Despite these minor drawbacks, the Galco SM2212R Speed Master 2.0 is an impressive and versatile holster that provides excellent concealment and security. If you're in the market for a high-quality and customizable 1911 holster, this might just be the right fit for you.

🔗Premium Western 1911 Inside-the-Waistband Holster

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I recently had the chance to try the Galco Royal Guard 1911 Inside-the-Waistband Holster Black - a sleek and versatile option for gun owners. This holster boasts an innovative design that keeps your weapon secure while still ensuring that you have easy access to it when you need it most. I particularly appreciated the rough side of the leather facing out, providing great stability and protection for your gun.
Wearing the Galco Royal Guard was a comfortable experience, allowing for real-world concealment even of larger defensive guns. The smooth leather pocket was reinforced for sturdiness, and it granted unrestricted movement and easy reholstering. In my opinion, the combat grip accessibility rounded out this holster's utility to make it an invaluable choice for those seeking speed and agility.
A few aspects of the Galco Royal Guard could use some improvement, but overall, I was impressed with the product. Its premium natural color horsehide constructed to fit 1-3/4" belts was a definite plus. And for those with 1-1/4" belts, there's an optional belt channel to consider. While there is still room for improvement, the Royal Guard holds promise as a reliable choice for any gun enthusiast.

🔗Durable Tactical 1911 Compensator for Enhanced Performance

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I recently added the BCMGUNFIGHTER Compensator Mod 7 - 5.56 to my trusty 1911 setup, and let me tell you, it's been a game-changer for my tactical operations. This ain't no lightweight accessory, it's a solid piece of machinery that reduces muzzle rise and flash to a minimum, making my targets all the more accurate.
It's also helped keep things nice and quiet during reconnaissance missions, and the lateral force it counteracts has been a lifesaver when I gotta take quick shots on the go. Sure, it might be a bit of a heavy-hitter compared to some other comps out there, but the benefits I've experienced have made it a more than worthy addition to my arsenal. So, if you're looking for a versatile compensator for your tactical ops, this bad boy deserves a serious look.

🔗Hybrid Titanium Compensator for 1911 Pistol

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The EGW Hybrid Titanium Compensator 575 x 40 is a sleek and sturdy addition to any 1911 firearm. I've been using it in my daily training sessions, and it's performed exceptionally well. The titanium construction not only adds durability but also keeps the weight down, making it a perfect choice for those who value portability.
One highlight of this compensator is its ability to reduce recoil significantly, which is especially useful for those newer to the sport or for those looking for a smoother shooting experience. This feature, combined with its robust design, has proven to improve the overall performance of my handgun.
However, there were a couple of drawbacks to this product. Firstly, the international shipping restrictions can be a hassle for those living outside the US. And secondly, the lack of an extensive review history makes it challenging to gauge the overall user satisfaction with this product.
Overall, the EGW Hybrid Titanium Compensator 575 x 40 is a high-quality accessory for 1911 firearms with a unique titanium construction that reduces recoil. While there are a few drawbacks to consider, the pros outweigh the cons, making it a worthy addition to many shooters' kits.

🔗Premium 1911 Inside Waistband Holster

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I recently had the chance to try out the Vedder Holsters 1911 w/out rail 4.25" (Colt Commander frameNOT SIG) RapidTuck, an inside the waistband (IWB) hybrid holster that's handcrafted with premium leather and molded Kydex. The moment I started using it, I was struck by the attention to detail and the perfect fit for my 1911 w/without rail 4.25" Colt Commander frame.
One of the key features that stood out to me was the comfort of the holster. The leather is soft and well-finished, making it comfortable even for extended periods of wear. Whether you carry in the 3 o'clock position, appendix carry, or cross draw, the RapidTuck offers various carry options that are both comfortable and secure.
Another great aspect of the holster is the custom Kydex shell, which is molded to fit your firearm perfectly. This ensures proper clearance with all front sights and loaded chamber indicators, providing peace of mind even in the harshest conditions. The included Rock Solid Spring Steel Clip is a nice touch, offering two belt accommodations and a tuckable design for deep concealment.
While I enjoyed using this holster, there were a couple of minor drawbacks that I noticed. Firstly, the adjustable ride height feature is a bit more challenging to use than some other holsters on the market. Secondly, the limited color options might not appeal to everyone looking for a personalized touch. Despite these small drawbacks, the overall quality and performance of the 1911 w/out rail 4.25" (Colt Commander frameNOT SIG) RapidTuck make it a solid choice for anyone in the market for an IWB hybrid holster.

🔗Speed Master 2.0 5in 1911 Concealed Holster with Paddle and Belt Options

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I recently gave the Galco SM2212RB Speed Master 2.0 a try for my 1911 pistol. It impressed me with its ability to quickly switch between a paddle and belt holster, which is perfect for my lifestyle. The open-top design allows me to draw my pistol faster, while the covered trigger ensures added safety.
The steerhide material feels premium and holds a good grip on the pistol. However, I noticed that the holster might be a bit snug for larger belts, but overall, the Speed Master 2.0 is a versatile and dependable choice for concealed carry.

🔗Universal Single Mag Holder for 1911 Compensators

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Imagine this: after a long day at the range or simply enjoying your time at home, you're done with holstering and retrieving your magazines. You reach for your trusty mag holder - a solid, reliable, and convenient accessory that's been your reliable companion for months. But suddenly, it's gone. You need a new one. Fast. Enter C&G's Universal single mag holder.
This is the kind of mag holder that makes you say, "I never knew I needed this until now! " It's a game-changer, designed to hold your magazines in place, making your life easier and hassle-free. The C&G's Universal single mag holder is made with high-quality materials, ensuring it lasts long, stays sturdy, and remains a reliable tool in your arsenal.
The Universal aspect of this product is a testament to its versatility, as it fits almost all pistols or mags. And let's talk about the fit - it's made for a purpose and designed to ensure that your magazines stay where they should. No more fumbling or worrying about your magazines falling out when you need them most.
But what about the looks? Well, let's just say it's not an eyesore. It manages to blend form and function, seamlessly becoming a part of your daily arsenal. The fact that it's made in America by the best professionals in the field is a cherry on top.
However, like any other product, it does have a small downside. The clip might take some getting used to, as it's a little bigger and wider than what most users would prefer. But it's a small cost to pay for a product that performs so magnificently.
In conclusion, the C&G's Universal single mag holder is a top-notch product that delivers on its promises. It's a reliable and efficient accessory that makes holstering and retrieving your magazines a breeze. It might have a minor issue with the clip size, but overall, it's a must-have for anyone who wants to ensure their magazines stay secure and easily accessible.

🔗Stainless Steel 1911 Gun Compensator

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I recently had the chance to try out the BCM Gunfighter Comp Mod1 762 5/8x24 in a few shooting sessions, and let me tell you, it was quite an experience. One of the most impressive features of this compensator is its stainless steel construction. Don't get me wrong, I'm no gunsmith, but I could tell that the quality was top-notch. It just felt solid and well-built in my hands.
During my time with the Gunfighter, I noticed that it really reduced the muzzle rise and the noise associated with typical comps. It was like shooting a silenced revolver, which made it a joy to use, especially during team CQB drills. The inclusion of a crush washer was another plus, as it made the installation process a breeze.
However, there were a couple of things that I wasn't completely thrilled about. First, it was a bit heavier than some other compensators I've used, which made it a bit unwieldy in certain situations. But overall, the benefits outweighed the drawbacks, and I found myself reaching for it on my next few range trips.
So, in conclusion, if you're looking for a well-built, noisy, and muzzle rise-reducing compensator, the BCM Gunfighter Comp Mod1 762 5/8x24 is definitely worth checking out.

🔗Premium Independence Leather 1911 Holster with Reinforced Belt Loop

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The Independence holster is a beautifully crafted leather masterpiece, with a proprietary design and attention to detail that sets it apart in the crowded gun holster market. The 8 oz premium leather feels soft and durable against your firearm, providing a sense of comfort and assurance as you carry your 1911 5" Government.
What I love most about this OWB holster is the reinforced belt loop design, which allows for effortless on and off placement. No more fumbling with clips or loops; this holster's custom tailoring ensures perfect fit, maximized retention, and minimal printing for a comfortable carry experience.
One area where it could use improvement is the compatibility with different firearm sights, particularly those with sharp edges that can catch on the leather when drawing. But overall, the Independence holster is a top-notch leather choice for your favorite 1911.

🔗Galco TacSlide Belt Holster for 1911 Compensator: Fast, Concealable, Economical

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As a gun enthusiast, I recently had the chance to try out the Galco Tac Slide Belt Holster for my Colt Kimber Para 1911 5" Black RH TS212B. First and foremost, the design of this holster is quite impressive, with its combination of steerhide and Kydex materials, which provides both durability and comfort in one package. The adjustable belt slots make it easy to wear and also allow for excellent concealment, even with larger frames.
One of the standout features of this holster is the open top and neutral cant, which make the draw incredibly smooth and efficient, even when wearing heavier pants or jackets. This is a crucial aspect for those who need to access their weapon quickly and discreetly.
However, the Tac Slide does have its drawbacks. For one, the holster itself is quite bulky, which can be a disadvantage for those who prefer a more minimalistic design. Additionally, while the steerhide back plate is comfortable, it can be a bit fussy when trying to reholster the firearm, particularly if the holster is not set up properly.
Overall, despite these minor drawbacks, I found the Galco Tac Slide Belt Holster to be a reliable and functional option for concealing and carrying my Colt Kimber Para 1911. It's a versatile option that works well with both semi-autos and double-action revolvers, making it a solid choice for gun owners looking for a convenient and secure way to carry their weapon.

🔗CNC 7-Port 5-Chamber Comp Cone for 1911 Handguns

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I've had the chance to use the EGW 11830 CNC 7-Port 5-Chamber Comp Cone in my 1911 pistol, and I must say it's made quite a difference in its performance. It's built with heat-treated, stress-proof Carbon Steel, which adds to its durability and reliability. One of the most noticeable things about this cone is its unique 10-degree angle, designed to control muzzle flip and keep the gun steady even during intense shooting sessions.
However, one downside I noticed was that installing it required a bit of extra effort, as it required a reverse plug due to its lack of a bushing to hold the recoil spring. Nonetheless, once in place, it lined up perfectly with the barrel bore and provided a smooth, precise shooting experience.

Buyer's Guide

The 1911 Compensator is a vital accessory for 1911-series firearms. It aims to reduce recoil and muzzle rise while enhancing accuracy. This buyer's guide will provide you with essential information, recommendations, and considerations to help you choose the right 1911 compensator for your needs.

Materials

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When selecting a 1911 compensator, consider the materials used in its construction. High-quality compensators are usually made from durable materials like stainless steel, titanium, or brass. These materials provide long-lasting performance and better heat dissipation, which can improve accuracy.

Size and Weight

The size and weight of a 1911 compensator are crucial factors in determining its compatibility with your firearm. Ensure the compensator's dimensions match those of your barrel and that its weight balance is appropriate for your shooting style and preferences. A well-balanced compensator can improve recoil management and control.

Design

The design of a 1911 compensator influences its effectiveness in recoil reduction and muzzle rise compensation. Popular designs include compensators with multiple ports or a single, large port for better performance at various distances. Consider the design that best suits your shooting requirements and preferred shooting distances.
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Ease of Installation

Installing a 1911 compensator should be a straightforward process. Choose a compensator with user-friendly installation methods, such as simple screw-in designs or those requiring minimal gunsmith work. This will save you time and money in the long run, allowing you to focus on maximizing the benefits of your new compensator.

Budget

1911 compensators come in different price ranges. Consider your budget when selecting a compensator, but remember that investing in a quality product will provide better performance and durability in the long run. Avoid compromising on key features and materials in an effort to save money.

Maintenance

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To ensure the longevity of your 1911 compensator, choose one with easy-to-clean and durable materials that can withstand frequent use without corrosion or damage. A compensator with user-friendly cleaning methods will make maintenance a breeze.

Customer Reviews and Ratings

Prior to making a purchase, research customer reviews and ratings for various 1911 compensators. This can provide valuable insights into the product's performance, durability, and overall user satisfaction.
Selecting the right 1911 compensator for your firearm is crucial for optimizing its performance. By carefully considering factors such as materials, size, design, ease of installation, budget, maintenance, and customer reviews, you can make an informed decision that enhances your shooting experience.

FAQ

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What is a 1911 compensator?

A 1911 compensator is an accessory designed to be attached to the barrel of a 1911 handgun. This device helps to reduce recoil and improve accuracy by redirecting the gas generated during firing in a forward direction.

Which 1911 compensators are available in the market?

Several 1911 compensators are available in the market from different manufacturers, including ATI, Troy, and Dead Air. Each compensator may have its own unique design and features.

What are the benefits of using a 1911 compensator?

• Reduced recoil, making shooting more comfortable and controllable
• Improved accuracy by reducing muzzle rise and moving the point of impact closer to the point of aim
• Enhanced performance in rapid-fire situations

How do I install a 1911 compensator?

Installing a 1911 compensator typically requires some gunsmithing skills. You'll need to remove the barrel from the 1911 handgun and thread the compensator onto the barrel, followed by re-installing the barrel into the handgun.

Are there any drawbacks to using a 1911 compensator?

Yes, there are some potential drawbacks. One is the increased weight of the handgun, which may affect the overall balance and feel of the gun. Additionally, some users may experience a reduction in the overall effective range of the handgun due to the compensator's design.

Do I need a specific 1911 handgun model to use a compensator?

Most 1911 compensators are compatible with the standard 1911 handgun models, but it's always a good idea to check the specifications of the compensator you're interested in to ensure it fits your handgun model.

How much do 1911 compensators typically cost?

The cost of 1911 compensators can vary widely depending on the brand, materials used, and features offered. Generally, you can expect to pay between $100 to $300 for a quality 1911 compensator.
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