Toasts daughter-in-law
Met the Parents/Family (Update) (52M/25F)
2024.05.30 18:41 Diligent-Benefits Met the Parents/Family (Update) (52M/25F)
Original post: https://www.reddit.com/AgeGapRelationship/comments/1ctjt1j/meeting_the_parents_and_stream_of_consciousness/
Many of you had asked for an update and I apologize for taking so long. It's been a busy couple of weeks plus a holiday weekend. I've been working on writing this update on and off the entire time. LOL Now, hopefully I remember how it went.
I had been dealing with a kidney stone all week, so I wasn't even sure I would make it when Saturday came, so I was glad that I felt better. Penny (my gf) had come over Friday after work as usual, she has been spending every weekend with me. She could tell I was a bit anxious about meeting the family, but I wasn't particularly anxious, just a little and a bit excited about the day. These are all feelings that I never thought I'd feel again, not at my age.
Her parent's home is at the other end of the county from my home, so it took about an hour to get there. We were both unusually quiet on the ride over there. We were told to come any time after 1PM, so we arrived at 3PM. The entire family was there, her parents, her siblings (one older brother, one younger brother and two younger sisters), some aunts, uncles and cousins. Big Latin family, reminded me a lot of my own, my parents also being immigrants. I'm comfortable with that, I liked it. I brought a beautiful bouquet of flowers for her mother and a nice bottle of rum for dad and they were appreciative. Her mother immediately put the flowers in a vase and put them on the table where we would all gather to eat. Everyone was very polite and well-behaved. Her mother is a few months younger than me, a tiny woman with a huge personality and obviously running everything. LOL Her dad is 62, but acts much younger. He is short and built like a pitbull, all muscle and beer belly, where I'm just over 6-feet and built like a quarterback. He vigorously shook my hand but her mother and sisters all hugged me with a kiss on each cheek, even her brothers hugged me. Her dad was "sizing me up" all day. LOL But that was fine, I expected it. His English was pretty good, but he was pleased when I expressed myself with some of the Spanish I've learned over the years. Penny punched me in the arm: "I didn't know you speak Spanish!!" LOL It hadn't come up before, besides, it's just broken Spanish, not very good, but I get by with basic stuff, especially food.
Her dad wanted to know about my business, about my life, my kids (they asked me why we didn't bring them). He was not interrogating me, which I appreciated, but he was constantly asking questions. I didn't really see any of the problems between Penny and her parents that she has referred to. I think maybe they have become more accepting of her and she has become less confrontational. They all hugged and kissed her and said lovely things to her when we arrived and when we were departing. In fact, I think she was a little surprised at how well everything went and how they didn't argue about anything.
They made a very traditional meal, cooked a whole pig in the ground, all the traditional side dishes, plenty of cold beer. I stuffed myself.
There was a point after we all ate and everything had been cleared away, the men built a fire and pulled chairs around it. Beer and tequila flowed quite easily. The women had settled on the patio, talking amongst themselves. Penny had earlier pointed me in the direction of the men building the fire and understanding where this was going I joined them. There was a fair bit of joking around in what I call Spanglish but out of the blue her dad asked me what my intentions are with his daughter. His sons gave him a hard time, telling him to ease up, so he switched tactics, asking me how long we've been dating and if we're living together (I was surprised he didn't know for sure or maybe he was testing me). We're not living together, but Penny spends every weekend with me and I did tell him that. He asked, "so, you must really love my daughter?" I wasn't expecting that so quick and to the point. I told him that after thinking about it for some time now and trying to figure out if its love or infatuation, I do love her and I went on to tell him how difficult it has been for me to accept this relationship due to the age difference and my concerns. Everyone was very quiet when I finished talking and I thought 'oh no, this is where it all goes bad.'
He says to me: 'the fact that you think about all that and you worry about her future proves you really love her.' Then all the other guys were agreeing with him. LOL He went on to say that in life there are no guarantees so we have to seize the day. Then he got a little quiet, he didn't want any of the women (or Penny) to hear him. He said, 'the last 10 years I been worried about that girl. She is stubborn, headstrong, she do what she wants, she don't care what her mother and father say (his sons made a comment in Spanish about 'like father like daughter' and he cursed them and everyone was laughing). Now I look at her and she look happy, content, settled. If this is because of you, then I'm happy.' I am trying to convey a little bit of how he spoke, he has a somewhat gruff voice and an accent and sometimes he throws Spanish words in between, but I had no problem with any of that.
At this point I said what a good effect she's had on me. How lonely I've been the past few years, how difficult it's been for me and how Penny has given me life again. He said, 'you know I am 10 years older than my wife.' Which I knew already. By this point he (all of us) had too much liquor in our systems and there was a lot of repeating of things we'd already said. He continued, 'I have same worry as you when we get married, but you see, everything is good, life is good!' We all toasted to that. LOL Then he started getting a little personal. He quietly asked, 'you have tattoo?' I said no, I don't. He asked, 'you don't mind all the tattoo and piercings and crazy stuff? She change her hair color every week, loca!.' I laughed, we all laughed. I told him that I don't even notice all that. I said, you know, under all that stuff is a smart woman, she just has her own style. (I don't think even her dad knows about ALL the piercings). I said that she's young and she still has her life in front of her and she will change and change and change just like we all do as we grow. But none of that really matters if the person inside is good and has a good heart. I told him that even though they may not realize it, she treasures the values they instilled in her but she also has a little rebel inside that is a little unexpected.
Then he asks, 'you gonna marry her?' And everyone went silent. I could feel everyone's eyes on me, waiting for my answer. I thought about it for a minute and said, 'I have not asked her to marry me, and if I did, I would talk to you first. I am looking for a long-term relationship and yes, I would like to remarry, marriage is important to me. We have talked about a future together, but not specifically marriage...I think maybe it's a little early for that discussion. I only just recently accepted that I love her and she loves me and that it is possible to have a relationship with her. Even that I think happened too fast, but I can't deny my feelings."
He slaps me on the shoulder and says, 'we are mature men! We don't have time to wait! You know how love feels, you had this before. You love her? Good! You want marry her? Good! Get marry, you good man, make good life, you have my blessing!" Then all the men were toasting and clapping hands. It was so funny and a bit surreal. After that, I think most of us were dozing off. LOL It was late when Penny came over to get me up to go home. After more hugs and kisses, Penny drove us home, her first time driving my vehicle, but I didn't feel safe to drive. I don't often drink that much and I don't enjoy being drunk, so I knew I was not fit for driving.
On Sunday morning I fell into a bit of depression. I think the events of Saturday, and her dad giving me his blessing, was a lot for me to process and I remembered my father-in-law giving me his blessing some 30 years ago, how young we were, all the plans we had, even talking about how we would celebrate our 50th anniversary, and now I'm starting over and I started Sunday on a sad, difficult note. After all this time, I still miss her. Penny was amazing about it. She figured out what was going on with me without even asking and she was just there, sitting with me and letting me work through my feelings for a while.
In the days to follow, Penny pestered me about what the men were talking about, so I said if she told me what the women talked about, I'd tell her what the men talked about. LOL She zipped her lips, so did I. But we had a little fun teasing each other about it. However, I did finally tell her and that's for another update, if anyone is interested.
submitted by Diligent-Benefits to AgeGapRelationship [link] [comments]
Many of you had asked for an update and I apologize for taking so long. It's been a busy couple of weeks plus a holiday weekend. I've been working on writing this update on and off the entire time. LOL Now, hopefully I remember how it went.
I had been dealing with a kidney stone all week, so I wasn't even sure I would make it when Saturday came, so I was glad that I felt better. Penny (my gf) had come over Friday after work as usual, she has been spending every weekend with me. She could tell I was a bit anxious about meeting the family, but I wasn't particularly anxious, just a little and a bit excited about the day. These are all feelings that I never thought I'd feel again, not at my age.
Her parent's home is at the other end of the county from my home, so it took about an hour to get there. We were both unusually quiet on the ride over there. We were told to come any time after 1PM, so we arrived at 3PM. The entire family was there, her parents, her siblings (one older brother, one younger brother and two younger sisters), some aunts, uncles and cousins. Big Latin family, reminded me a lot of my own, my parents also being immigrants. I'm comfortable with that, I liked it. I brought a beautiful bouquet of flowers for her mother and a nice bottle of rum for dad and they were appreciative. Her mother immediately put the flowers in a vase and put them on the table where we would all gather to eat. Everyone was very polite and well-behaved. Her mother is a few months younger than me, a tiny woman with a huge personality and obviously running everything. LOL Her dad is 62, but acts much younger. He is short and built like a pitbull, all muscle and beer belly, where I'm just over 6-feet and built like a quarterback. He vigorously shook my hand but her mother and sisters all hugged me with a kiss on each cheek, even her brothers hugged me. Her dad was "sizing me up" all day. LOL But that was fine, I expected it. His English was pretty good, but he was pleased when I expressed myself with some of the Spanish I've learned over the years. Penny punched me in the arm: "I didn't know you speak Spanish!!" LOL It hadn't come up before, besides, it's just broken Spanish, not very good, but I get by with basic stuff, especially food.
Her dad wanted to know about my business, about my life, my kids (they asked me why we didn't bring them). He was not interrogating me, which I appreciated, but he was constantly asking questions. I didn't really see any of the problems between Penny and her parents that she has referred to. I think maybe they have become more accepting of her and she has become less confrontational. They all hugged and kissed her and said lovely things to her when we arrived and when we were departing. In fact, I think she was a little surprised at how well everything went and how they didn't argue about anything.
They made a very traditional meal, cooked a whole pig in the ground, all the traditional side dishes, plenty of cold beer. I stuffed myself.
There was a point after we all ate and everything had been cleared away, the men built a fire and pulled chairs around it. Beer and tequila flowed quite easily. The women had settled on the patio, talking amongst themselves. Penny had earlier pointed me in the direction of the men building the fire and understanding where this was going I joined them. There was a fair bit of joking around in what I call Spanglish but out of the blue her dad asked me what my intentions are with his daughter. His sons gave him a hard time, telling him to ease up, so he switched tactics, asking me how long we've been dating and if we're living together (I was surprised he didn't know for sure or maybe he was testing me). We're not living together, but Penny spends every weekend with me and I did tell him that. He asked, "so, you must really love my daughter?" I wasn't expecting that so quick and to the point. I told him that after thinking about it for some time now and trying to figure out if its love or infatuation, I do love her and I went on to tell him how difficult it has been for me to accept this relationship due to the age difference and my concerns. Everyone was very quiet when I finished talking and I thought 'oh no, this is where it all goes bad.'
He says to me: 'the fact that you think about all that and you worry about her future proves you really love her.' Then all the other guys were agreeing with him. LOL He went on to say that in life there are no guarantees so we have to seize the day. Then he got a little quiet, he didn't want any of the women (or Penny) to hear him. He said, 'the last 10 years I been worried about that girl. She is stubborn, headstrong, she do what she wants, she don't care what her mother and father say (his sons made a comment in Spanish about 'like father like daughter' and he cursed them and everyone was laughing). Now I look at her and she look happy, content, settled. If this is because of you, then I'm happy.' I am trying to convey a little bit of how he spoke, he has a somewhat gruff voice and an accent and sometimes he throws Spanish words in between, but I had no problem with any of that.
At this point I said what a good effect she's had on me. How lonely I've been the past few years, how difficult it's been for me and how Penny has given me life again. He said, 'you know I am 10 years older than my wife.' Which I knew already. By this point he (all of us) had too much liquor in our systems and there was a lot of repeating of things we'd already said. He continued, 'I have same worry as you when we get married, but you see, everything is good, life is good!' We all toasted to that. LOL Then he started getting a little personal. He quietly asked, 'you have tattoo?' I said no, I don't. He asked, 'you don't mind all the tattoo and piercings and crazy stuff? She change her hair color every week, loca!.' I laughed, we all laughed. I told him that I don't even notice all that. I said, you know, under all that stuff is a smart woman, she just has her own style. (I don't think even her dad knows about ALL the piercings). I said that she's young and she still has her life in front of her and she will change and change and change just like we all do as we grow. But none of that really matters if the person inside is good and has a good heart. I told him that even though they may not realize it, she treasures the values they instilled in her but she also has a little rebel inside that is a little unexpected.
Then he asks, 'you gonna marry her?' And everyone went silent. I could feel everyone's eyes on me, waiting for my answer. I thought about it for a minute and said, 'I have not asked her to marry me, and if I did, I would talk to you first. I am looking for a long-term relationship and yes, I would like to remarry, marriage is important to me. We have talked about a future together, but not specifically marriage...I think maybe it's a little early for that discussion. I only just recently accepted that I love her and she loves me and that it is possible to have a relationship with her. Even that I think happened too fast, but I can't deny my feelings."
He slaps me on the shoulder and says, 'we are mature men! We don't have time to wait! You know how love feels, you had this before. You love her? Good! You want marry her? Good! Get marry, you good man, make good life, you have my blessing!" Then all the men were toasting and clapping hands. It was so funny and a bit surreal. After that, I think most of us were dozing off. LOL It was late when Penny came over to get me up to go home. After more hugs and kisses, Penny drove us home, her first time driving my vehicle, but I didn't feel safe to drive. I don't often drink that much and I don't enjoy being drunk, so I knew I was not fit for driving.
On Sunday morning I fell into a bit of depression. I think the events of Saturday, and her dad giving me his blessing, was a lot for me to process and I remembered my father-in-law giving me his blessing some 30 years ago, how young we were, all the plans we had, even talking about how we would celebrate our 50th anniversary, and now I'm starting over and I started Sunday on a sad, difficult note. After all this time, I still miss her. Penny was amazing about it. She figured out what was going on with me without even asking and she was just there, sitting with me and letting me work through my feelings for a while.
In the days to follow, Penny pestered me about what the men were talking about, so I said if she told me what the women talked about, I'd tell her what the men talked about. LOL She zipped her lips, so did I. But we had a little fun teasing each other about it. However, I did finally tell her and that's for another update, if anyone is interested.
2024.05.28 19:40 Dismal_Eye_5733 Amish sandwich strikes again!
 | It’s been way too long since our last visit but man it gets better every time! submitted by Dismal_Eye_5733 to eatsandwiches [link] [comments] Toasted sourdough with mayo, spicy mustard, roasted turkey, roast beef, dill havarti, lettuce, tomato, and onion, and sweet green relish! They are a Mennonite family that own and run an Amish store here in North Carolina! The son and daughter in law of the owner are the ones who mainly run it and are cool as hell. They bake their own bread and yes they use electricity since I get that question every time 🤣 |
2024.05.23 14:28 Aware-Impression8527 The Kardashians Season 5 – Episode 1
In Calabasas, a very pregnant Kourtney is in bed with three of her girlfriends talking about how far they can squirt their breast milk. Travis calls from backstage at his tour for reassurance before he goes on stage and Kourtney says a prayer ... which lists all the things that could go wrong in vivid detail. She briefly touches on the 'traumatic' fetal surgery without saying exactly what happened but praises Travis for dropping everything to be by her side because the last time she was pregnant her partner planned to party in Vegas on the due date. Kourtney is on bed rest and Travis is in Europe but they're still going to have a baby shower with a vintage Disneyland theme.
In New York, Kim doesn't even know the meaning of the word 'rest' because being busy and working is her happy place. She's running a business, shooting the show, studying for law school, has a new acting agent ... oh and also she has four kids.
Kris and Khloé arrive at Scott's house because they're the only ones who still talk to him. Kris notes that this is the 25th season of their show (if you include KUWTK) and wants to know why she hasn't been given an anniversary gift ... because hundreds of millions of dollars for doing nothing isn't enough. Turns out it's true that Mason has been living with Scott full-time because he doesn't want to be around Kourtney and Travis and their ... love. They discuss their displeasure that Caitlyn has participated in a documentary about the Kardashians, in which she chastises Kris for wanting to be 'more than just a housewife' but Kris doesn't have time to talk about it as she has to pack for a trip to Paris. Scott reminds her that she doesn't pack her own suitcase because she has staff for that.
Khloé arrives at Tristan's house. Tristan has been signed back to the Cleveland Cavaliers so he's moving back to Ohio ... which isn't far enough for Khloé's liking. Tristan is still pushing for them to live as one big happy family so that he can fuck her over all over again and Khloé is wary of doing anything that might give him false hope but stops short of moving on with someone else.
In Paris, Kendall is going to a fitting. She doesn't want to talk about her anxiety because she feels like it's all she ever talks about and the thought of being pigeon-holed like that makes her anxious. Kylie makes Kendall wait for over an hour before they go to dinner. I don't know where they went but the food looked gooood.
At Kris's house, a team of party planners are putting together yet another balloon arch. There are ten cakes to feed fifty people. Everyone is wearing masks because Kourtney and Travis have Covid. And Kris is less worried about her daughter's high-risk pregnancy than she is about the preparations going to waste if the party has to be cancelled. All while a barbershop quartet sings in the background. You could tell me it was a scene from a near-future dystopian show and I would believe you. They arrange for Kourtney to break her bed rest and stay outside the building just so she can see the decorations, take some photos and then they'll do it all again another time. But they end up staying -- they just sit apart from everyone else. Kris 'accidentally' reveals the baby's name during her toast.
Kim, Kris and Corey fly 15 hours to spend 12 hours in Paris. She says being addicted to work is better than being addicted to drugs but it's a maladaptive coping strategy whichever way you want to cut it. Kim berates Khloé for staying home to take care of her children and support Kourtney at the end of her pregnancy and says 'all arrows are pointing towards misery.' Meanwhile, Kendall is anxious that Kim is doing too much. They're late for the Victoria Beckham show and fuck up Anna Wintour's schedule.
Next week on The Kardashians:
Khloé encourages Rob to have a baby with Malika. Scott volunteers to have a baby with Malika. The family gets together to watch American Horror Story. The family gets together to watch The Golden Bachelor. They try to get Kim to slow down.
submitted by Aware-Impression8527 to KUWTKsnark [link] [comments]
In New York, Kim doesn't even know the meaning of the word 'rest' because being busy and working is her happy place. She's running a business, shooting the show, studying for law school, has a new acting agent ... oh and also she has four kids.
Kris and Khloé arrive at Scott's house because they're the only ones who still talk to him. Kris notes that this is the 25th season of their show (if you include KUWTK) and wants to know why she hasn't been given an anniversary gift ... because hundreds of millions of dollars for doing nothing isn't enough. Turns out it's true that Mason has been living with Scott full-time because he doesn't want to be around Kourtney and Travis and their ... love. They discuss their displeasure that Caitlyn has participated in a documentary about the Kardashians, in which she chastises Kris for wanting to be 'more than just a housewife' but Kris doesn't have time to talk about it as she has to pack for a trip to Paris. Scott reminds her that she doesn't pack her own suitcase because she has staff for that.
Khloé arrives at Tristan's house. Tristan has been signed back to the Cleveland Cavaliers so he's moving back to Ohio ... which isn't far enough for Khloé's liking. Tristan is still pushing for them to live as one big happy family so that he can fuck her over all over again and Khloé is wary of doing anything that might give him false hope but stops short of moving on with someone else.
In Paris, Kendall is going to a fitting. She doesn't want to talk about her anxiety because she feels like it's all she ever talks about and the thought of being pigeon-holed like that makes her anxious. Kylie makes Kendall wait for over an hour before they go to dinner. I don't know where they went but the food looked gooood.
At Kris's house, a team of party planners are putting together yet another balloon arch. There are ten cakes to feed fifty people. Everyone is wearing masks because Kourtney and Travis have Covid. And Kris is less worried about her daughter's high-risk pregnancy than she is about the preparations going to waste if the party has to be cancelled. All while a barbershop quartet sings in the background. You could tell me it was a scene from a near-future dystopian show and I would believe you. They arrange for Kourtney to break her bed rest and stay outside the building just so she can see the decorations, take some photos and then they'll do it all again another time. But they end up staying -- they just sit apart from everyone else. Kris 'accidentally' reveals the baby's name during her toast.
Kim, Kris and Corey fly 15 hours to spend 12 hours in Paris. She says being addicted to work is better than being addicted to drugs but it's a maladaptive coping strategy whichever way you want to cut it. Kim berates Khloé for staying home to take care of her children and support Kourtney at the end of her pregnancy and says 'all arrows are pointing towards misery.' Meanwhile, Kendall is anxious that Kim is doing too much. They're late for the Victoria Beckham show and fuck up Anna Wintour's schedule.
Next week on The Kardashians:
Khloé encourages Rob to have a baby with Malika. Scott volunteers to have a baby with Malika. The family gets together to watch American Horror Story. The family gets together to watch The Golden Bachelor. They try to get Kim to slow down.
2024.05.22 08:11 Help24-7 Who is the bigger ahole
So this person felt he isn't an ahole in this situation........ Let you all judge this nonsense for yourselves. Cause you already know what I said to him .....
Story as follows below
My father in law has breakfast every Saturday morning at a restaurant. He gets there at 6 am when they open and usually stays until 8:30 or so. His kids and grandchildren drop in and out, most do not stay the whole time and they either pay their own checks on the way out or leave him cash to cover their bill and he pays before he leaves.
Last Saturday I went late and crossed him leaving. My wife and daughters waited for me. I ordered and they chatted while I ate. They headed home while I went to the counter to pay the check.
It was $171!
I immediately asked for an itemized receipt and after a bit of hesitation the waitress provided it. I took one l look and knew I had been stuck with my sister in laws check too. The waitress confirmed that she had been there early and didn’t pay before leaving. The waitress assumed someone else would pay it as they sometimes do. I requested that she separate the checks. My family of 4 was $60. Sister in laws’ family of 3 was $111.
The manager came over to discuss the situation and said I could pay, sister-in-law could come within 30 minutes and pay or he would call the police.
I called sister-in-law and she said she was out of town and asked me to pay it and she’d pay me ‘later’. I told her she could Venmo or cash app me right away and I’d pay it.
She asked the total and I told her. She then asked what her share was and I told her that was her total as we had separate checks. She didn’t understand how breakfast for 3 could be $111. I read the ticket. Coffee, orange juice, milk and coke for everyone = 4 x $3 each x 3 people = $36. Double cheeseburger with fries $15, side of hash browns $3, add grilled onions and mushrooms $2 add extra cheese $2 add bacon $3 = $25. All meat omelet meal $12 add a side of bacon $3 add stack of pancakes $5 = $20. French toast $10 add blueberries $1 add strawberries$1 add side of bacon $3 add grits $3 add cheese $2 = $20 = 101 + tax $10 = $111.
She said she didn’t understand how it added up to so much. I told her that was how her family always ordered so I didn’t understand how she didn’t understand how all the extra things add up, but I wasn’t willing to spend my whole Saturday dealing with it. She could send me money right away to pay her check or I was leaving without paying it.
She sent me the exact amount, no tip. I paid, tipped the waitress and left.
I told my wife and she said that her sister never leaves enough to cover her bill.
Sister-in-law called my father in law and complained that her day was ruined. They were planning to go to the opening weekend of the water park and buy season passes but couldn’t afford it after paying for breakfast. He thinks I’m a jerk for putting her on the spot knowing the probably couldn’t afford $100+ for breakfast. He says he forgot she had been there and thinks I should have just paid and asked for the money later and says he would have paid me if she didn’t.
So Aitah for asking a 30-something year old woman to pay for her own ‘forgotten’ breakfast check and insisting that she paid me right away because she has a history of not repaying debts?
submitted by Help24-7 to Serverlife [link] [comments]
Story as follows below
My father in law has breakfast every Saturday morning at a restaurant. He gets there at 6 am when they open and usually stays until 8:30 or so. His kids and grandchildren drop in and out, most do not stay the whole time and they either pay their own checks on the way out or leave him cash to cover their bill and he pays before he leaves.
Last Saturday I went late and crossed him leaving. My wife and daughters waited for me. I ordered and they chatted while I ate. They headed home while I went to the counter to pay the check.
It was $171!
I immediately asked for an itemized receipt and after a bit of hesitation the waitress provided it. I took one l look and knew I had been stuck with my sister in laws check too. The waitress confirmed that she had been there early and didn’t pay before leaving. The waitress assumed someone else would pay it as they sometimes do. I requested that she separate the checks. My family of 4 was $60. Sister in laws’ family of 3 was $111.
The manager came over to discuss the situation and said I could pay, sister-in-law could come within 30 minutes and pay or he would call the police.
I called sister-in-law and she said she was out of town and asked me to pay it and she’d pay me ‘later’. I told her she could Venmo or cash app me right away and I’d pay it.
She asked the total and I told her. She then asked what her share was and I told her that was her total as we had separate checks. She didn’t understand how breakfast for 3 could be $111. I read the ticket. Coffee, orange juice, milk and coke for everyone = 4 x $3 each x 3 people = $36. Double cheeseburger with fries $15, side of hash browns $3, add grilled onions and mushrooms $2 add extra cheese $2 add bacon $3 = $25. All meat omelet meal $12 add a side of bacon $3 add stack of pancakes $5 = $20. French toast $10 add blueberries $1 add strawberries$1 add side of bacon $3 add grits $3 add cheese $2 = $20 = 101 + tax $10 = $111.
She said she didn’t understand how it added up to so much. I told her that was how her family always ordered so I didn’t understand how she didn’t understand how all the extra things add up, but I wasn’t willing to spend my whole Saturday dealing with it. She could send me money right away to pay her check or I was leaving without paying it.
She sent me the exact amount, no tip. I paid, tipped the waitress and left.
I told my wife and she said that her sister never leaves enough to cover her bill.
Sister-in-law called my father in law and complained that her day was ruined. They were planning to go to the opening weekend of the water park and buy season passes but couldn’t afford it after paying for breakfast. He thinks I’m a jerk for putting her on the spot knowing the probably couldn’t afford $100+ for breakfast. He says he forgot she had been there and thinks I should have just paid and asked for the money later and says he would have paid me if she didn’t.
So Aitah for asking a 30-something year old woman to pay for her own ‘forgotten’ breakfast check and insisting that she paid me right away because she has a history of not repaying debts?
2024.05.22 00:36 Warm_Addendum_8287 Aitah for calling my sister in law to pay her own breakfast bill?
My father in law has breakfast every Saturday morning at a restaurant. He gets there at 6 am when they open and usually stays until 8:30 or so. His kids and grandchildren drop in and out, most do not stay the whole time and they either pay their own checks on the way out or leave him cash to cover their bill and he pays before he leaves.
Last Saturday I went late and crossed him leaving. My wife and daughters waited for me. I ordered and they chatted while I ate. They headed home while I went to the counter to pay the check.
It was $171!
I immediately asked for an itemized receipt and after a bit of hesitation the waitress provided it. I took one l look and knew I had been stuck with my sister in laws check too. The waitress confirmed that she had been there early and didn’t pay before leaving. The waitress assumed someone else would pay it as they sometimes do. I requested that she separate the checks. My family of 4 was $60. Sister in laws’ family of 3 was $111.
The manager came over to discuss the situation and said I could pay, sister-in-law could come within 30 minutes and pay or he would call the police.
I called sister-in-law and she said she was out of town and asked me to pay it and she’d pay me ‘later’. I told her she could Venmo or cash app me right away and I’d pay it.
She asked the total and I told her. She then asked what her share was and I told her that was her total as we had separate checks. She didn’t understand how breakfast for 3 could be $111. I read the ticket. Coffee, orange juice, milk and coke for everyone = 4 x $3 each x 3 people = $36. Double cheeseburger with fries $15, side of hash browns $3, add grilled onions and mushrooms $2 add extra cheese $2 add bacon $3 = $25. All meat omelet meal $12 add a side of bacon $3 add stack of pancakes $5 = $20. French toast $10 add blueberries $1 add strawberries$1 add side of bacon $3 add grits $3 add cheese $2 = $20 = 101 + tax $10 = $111.
She said she didn’t understand how it added up to so much. I told her that was how her family always ordered so I didn’t understand how she didn’t understand how all the extra things add up, but I wasn’t willing to spend my whole Saturday dealing with it. She could send me money right away to pay her check or I was leaving without paying it.
She sent me the exact amount, no tip. I paid, tipped the waitress and left.
I told my wife and she said that her sister never leaves enough to cover her bill.
Sister-in-law called my father in law and complained that her day was ruined. They were planning to go to the opening weekend of the water park and buy season passes but couldn’t afford it after paying for breakfast. He thinks I’m a jerk for putting her on the spot knowing the probably couldn’t afford $100+ for breakfast. He says he forgot she had been there and thinks I should have just paid and asked for the money later and says he would have paid me if she didn’t.
So Aitah for asking a 30-something year old woman to pay for her own ‘forgotten’ breakfast check and insisting that she paid me right away because she has a history of not repaying debts?
submitted by Warm_Addendum_8287 to AITAH [link] [comments]
Last Saturday I went late and crossed him leaving. My wife and daughters waited for me. I ordered and they chatted while I ate. They headed home while I went to the counter to pay the check.
It was $171!
I immediately asked for an itemized receipt and after a bit of hesitation the waitress provided it. I took one l look and knew I had been stuck with my sister in laws check too. The waitress confirmed that she had been there early and didn’t pay before leaving. The waitress assumed someone else would pay it as they sometimes do. I requested that she separate the checks. My family of 4 was $60. Sister in laws’ family of 3 was $111.
The manager came over to discuss the situation and said I could pay, sister-in-law could come within 30 minutes and pay or he would call the police.
I called sister-in-law and she said she was out of town and asked me to pay it and she’d pay me ‘later’. I told her she could Venmo or cash app me right away and I’d pay it.
She asked the total and I told her. She then asked what her share was and I told her that was her total as we had separate checks. She didn’t understand how breakfast for 3 could be $111. I read the ticket. Coffee, orange juice, milk and coke for everyone = 4 x $3 each x 3 people = $36. Double cheeseburger with fries $15, side of hash browns $3, add grilled onions and mushrooms $2 add extra cheese $2 add bacon $3 = $25. All meat omelet meal $12 add a side of bacon $3 add stack of pancakes $5 = $20. French toast $10 add blueberries $1 add strawberries$1 add side of bacon $3 add grits $3 add cheese $2 = $20 = 101 + tax $10 = $111.
She said she didn’t understand how it added up to so much. I told her that was how her family always ordered so I didn’t understand how she didn’t understand how all the extra things add up, but I wasn’t willing to spend my whole Saturday dealing with it. She could send me money right away to pay her check or I was leaving without paying it.
She sent me the exact amount, no tip. I paid, tipped the waitress and left.
I told my wife and she said that her sister never leaves enough to cover her bill.
Sister-in-law called my father in law and complained that her day was ruined. They were planning to go to the opening weekend of the water park and buy season passes but couldn’t afford it after paying for breakfast. He thinks I’m a jerk for putting her on the spot knowing the probably couldn’t afford $100+ for breakfast. He says he forgot she had been there and thinks I should have just paid and asked for the money later and says he would have paid me if she didn’t.
So Aitah for asking a 30-something year old woman to pay for her own ‘forgotten’ breakfast check and insisting that she paid me right away because she has a history of not repaying debts?
2024.05.15 18:03 KamchatkasRevenge Out of Cruel Space Side Story: Of Dog, Volpir, and Man - Bk 6 Ch 18
The next day finds the military part of the Bridger family waiting in one of the larger cargo bays. Paladin company and Shark Platoon are on hand, all in full power armor except for Makula, with the exception of Jaruna who's standing next to Jerry in a family uniform with her shotgun and sword slung over her back. Jerry had also elected for a dress uniform today, though he'd paired it with a 'ceremonial' curaiss that could still take a hit from a plasma cannon or two... and concealed a small shield generator. Mixed with his cloak and the Crimsonhewer war ax on his belt, Jerry thought he looked every bit the barbarian warlord... if a bit too clean cut for a Hollywood depiction of such.
The situation reminded Jerry of a similar reception back on Serbow... but this one was a bit less ceremonial and a bit more... dynamic. They didn't have any formal bonds with Clan Karchara, or their Khan, Komugai. So as a meeting of two new to each other factions, things could get... exciting. Which considering they were talking about Cannidor meant that things could potentially get very violent, very quickly.
They usually didn't. Not any more. Yet... it never helped to play it safe, even with a clan that had a decent reputation like the Karchara. More cut throat clans had been heard to disguise themselves for meetings like this for meetings so they could ambush their targets after all. Plus as always, there was tradition to observe and satisfy. Tradition which could be best summarized as 'Offer one hand, but arm the other.'. The Cannidor were ready to fight a war naked among any people but their own. They were beyond dangerous. So an armed society wasn't so much a polite society as the unarmed were likely mentally infirm, and to be politely left to their own devices.
A sharp whistle from the 1MC draws Jerry from his thoughts.
"Now hear this! The Clan Karchara envoy is arriving!"
The Karchara drop ship slides into view out of the black and makes it's way towards the docking day with all the leisurely grace of a terrestrial shark swimming towards a coral reef. Whoever's piloting it is clearly a hot hand on the stick because the ship moves as smooth as anything Jerry had ever seen out of Cruel Space, extending it's landing gear and coming to a halt with nary a hint of a bounce in it's suspension and shock absorbing gear.
"Hmmm. The Karchara..." Jaruna rumbles. "An interesting contact in Cannidor space to be sure. So to recap what we talked about, they're somewhat on and off again allies of my old clan. Decent types for the most part. No idea who the Khan is now, and a little searching online didn't turn anything up. Don't think the intelligence weasels had anything either. Save that they've been having some internal structural changes. Seized a new planet too, lighting raid, unconventional tactics, whatever that means. Gives them complete control of... ten decently populated and industrialized star systems I think. They're firmly in the middle of the power band for the Khans by that measurement, exact position depends on the number of warriors under arms they can bring to the Golden Khan's muster."
"Right. Well. Guess we'll have to see what Khan Karchara wants to chat about, and hear about this plan of hers."
The Karchara drop ship settles onto it's landing gear, and it's flight crew leaves the engines running. Tradition. You never knew if a reception was actually friendly after all, and it was also a mark of respect for the hosts. You might be asked to fuck off after all.
The forward assault ramp drops, and the honor guard warriors of the Khan march out, in power armor, but with their helmets off, fanning out to cover their leader. The lack of helmets was very much a declaration of intent, the human equivalent of open palms for a Cannidor in power armor.
Jaruna's brow instantly furrows as she scans the faces of the honor guard.
"...Wait. I know some of those girls. One of my aunts, Norkath is there on the left, and that's... but that."
Jerry can hear Jaruna's brain crunching that information.
"...Komugai. You said the Khan's name was Komugai? Not Jelvuna?"
"Definently Komugai."
"...Unless she changed her name... but then would Aunt Norkath join the Karchara proper without her...?"
Jaruna mutters to herself, clearly trying to puzzle whatever's eating at her out, when the sound of heavy boots on the assault ramp sound, and an utterly massive Cannidor woman starts to come into view. She cuts an imposing presence. Her uniform not too far off from Jerry's, a mix of barbarian warlord and modern dress uniform. The massive war ax over her shoulder tipping the scales on the barbarian - modern officer scale towards barbarian. It was easy to miss her other various weapons in the sheer scale of her. Her stark white fur, the three brutal scars across her muzzle, and another two over her left eye, which had a cybernetic replacement.
Khan Karchara stands for a moment, surveying the room silently... and before anyone can say anything, Jaruna breaks the silence;
"...Mom?"
Khan Karchara cuts loose with a booming laugh that reminds Jerry of Khan Isuras, and if this is indeed Jaruna's mother, he can immediately see exactly why the two women cut palms and swore sisterhood. He wouldn't be hard pressed to believe they were actual sisters.
"Heh. Glad to see all that time on Centris hasn't dulled your powers of observation! Always said you were a sharp one."
There's no sarcasm there, a little maternal teasing perhaps, but she's not mocking Jaruna. Anyone with eyes can tell Khan Karchara is damn proud of her child.
"And this'd be my son in law... bit small but hell just from your first date with my little girl I know you're a first class head kicker, plus you already gave me four grandbabies to spoil! Hahah. I suppose these bigguns here are the older girls? I... say. I thought there was three of you."
Karchara points at Makula.
"You're a bit old to be Hippolyta considering she was born a couple weeks ago. Who are you, girl?"
"Makula Sa'Bridger, I was adopted a few days ago. Honored Matron."
Karchara grins, her numerous teeth gleaming in the light of the hangar.
"Matron? Not Khan?"
"You are my mother's mother, standing in my family's clan hold. To refer to your title by right of blood is most appropriate."
Another bark of laughter.
"Well drilled and whip smart I see. You know the ways of our kind well, granddaughter." Karchara smirks, looking smug before turning to her honor guard.
"See girls? Five now! Haha! What a stud of a bull!"
Khan Karchara turns back to Jerry and Jaruna.
"Ah but I'm getting ahead of myself. Let's get the formal bit done so we can go jaw a bit and then hopefully I can visit with my eldest daughter, my son in law and these fine young ladies."
She quickly shifts her body a bit, drawing herself up to her full, imposing twelve foot height.
"I am Komugai, Khan of Karchara. I come to broker peace and fellowship between our clans, to join them in a bond of steel that will stand the sword storm for all time."
Jerry nods slowly. More than they'd expected actually. That was laying out intent to conduct some very, very serious negotiations.
"I, Jeremiah, Khan of Bridger, Admiral of this fleet, lord of these proud warriors before you, bid you welcome, Komugai of Karchara, bring your banner among ours, that they might rest together while we discuss the business of peace, and of wars yet to come."
"Well spoken indeed... and the steel in your eyes." Komugai nods slowly. "Yes, I see what you see in him, Jaruna, well past his considerable combat skills. All the better my dear son-in-law that you have already begun working on my grand design... but come, let us dismiss our warriors that they might go and eat, drink and enjoy themselves. We need only you, Jaruna, and perhaps my granddaughters for this business, so that they might learn the ways of leadership."
"I think we can accommodate that." Jerry says before turning and pulling the ax off of his belt and raising it high, an ancient Cannidor signal for attention from the leader of a warband to their warriors.
"Warriors, we walk with friends, show them to the promenade, that they might share our table while we discuss business."
Jerry and Jaruna guide Komugai to the conference room they'd prepared, while Joan and the girls quickly hustle to get their armor stowed and get their tails to the same spot. None of them wanted to miss a minute of this!
Still, the tension in the room's fairly heavy when the door closes, and Jaruna turns on her mother.
"Alright. We got a couple minutes till the girls get up here. What the hell, mom? You changed your name? Took over the Karchara? What the heck is going on?"
Komugai settles herself in a Cannidor scale chair, grinning all the while.
"You should be happier, daughter. This was inspired by you after all. When you left our band. Left the old clan... I knew you were right. We won't speak of that business, but we were obligated... and I should have been brave enough to refuse, but I lacked the standing... and perhaps the courage. So I did what any good Khan worth her blades would do and crammed it down their throats. Broke that clan, took them in, then subsumed the Karchara with my new band. They've got the older name, so I became Khan Karchara instead of remaining Khan Jormuntide. Your Aunt's got the title now. I'd offer it to you, but you've got your own clan now."
"So Jormuntide remains at least." Jaruna shuts her eyes for a second and lets out a slow breath. "You really did all this because of my idealistic and childish temper tantrum nearly a century ago?"
"Hardly childish. Idealistic? Absolutely. There's something to be said for actually trying to live up to our own ideals though. Especially as warriors. However, that is personal business, and we have business to discuss for the Undaunted first."
Komugai turns to face Jerry square on.
"Admiral Bridger, I'm prepared to offer two things to the Undaunted. One. I want to ally myself and my clan formally with the Undaunted. Second, I prepared to gift an entire star system to the same from my holdings. It is populated, but sparsely across three habitable worlds. Ripe for ongoing colonization and industrialization. To keep things fair, people within my clans will be given a chance to move to or from as they please if for some reason they don't wish for Undaunted citizenship. The Undaunted will then have the standing to select a Khan for your Cannidor population, both in Cannidor space, and Undaunted wide. A non voting position at first, but as the clan grows you will achieve that status quickly I believe."
Jerry stops dead. "...Did you just offer us a star system with three habitable worlds?"
"Yes."
"...Okay, I'm on board, but why?"
"Simply put, the worlds are marginal. They need investment. They need settlers. You need worlds. A strong alliance with humanity... and being the first Cannidor clan to extend that hand formally, even having your realm within my space... only benefits me. As I grow my own territory I might even cede another system to the Undaunted. If the Undaunted Khan helps me in those battles I damn sure will." Komugai chuckles. "We'll see how many Khans are stupid enough to try to fight me in the next few decades of course. The other thing I'm trading on is Undaunted naval power. As you just learned, we don't really do navies. I want a professional navy, the Undaunted have agreed to help me get it... and help secure my space once we secure them my end of the bargain, that, Admiral, is where you come in."
Jerry arches an eyebrow and gestures for Komugai to continue.
"Simply put, you need to do what you just did with that border bandit Khan Irgalas, but across Cannidor space. This isn't a done deal. It's up to the Grand Council and I'm but one vote. You already have an in with some of the other Khans, and the Undaunted are doing business with Cannid Solutions. That's an excellent start, and you just made a stellar formal introduction of yourself to Cannidor space. A flawless orbital and ground fight like that'll make sure word gets around that the Undaunted are here... and as dangerous as their rep says they are. I got a little list of the other movers and shakers you need to press the flesh with to win over key parts of the council. You make the rounds, and I'll be doing the same on my end. We meet on Canis Prime for the council meeting, and then we either have a huge brawl to make our point or toast victory with some top quality booze."
"You make it sound pretty simple." Jerry says, clearly not believing there's all there is to it.
Komugai shrugs. "It is simple in its concept. Pressing the flesh and winning the various Khans over won't be. They'll all have their little tests and challenges for you to get the measure of both humans and the Undaunted. We've seen a lot on the trivid as a species. A lot of us have heard stuff in the news or from kin. This is your chance to just straight up show people who you are and what you're about. Because now you're here, and therefore 'real'. If that makes any sense. Cannidor don't really care much about shit happening on the other half of the galactic disk. Undaunted, Humans, being here? Now? Now people will really start paying attention besides idly seeing if there's some interesting amateur porn or more combat footage available."
The Khan points over at Joan, Boudicca, Khutulun and Makula. "These four will likely be very critical to the warrior house's opinion of you... your next generation of warriors, your daughters. How are they treated? How are they trained? What's their mettle like? If they're strong, and worthy, you will impress the khans in a very good way. If my granddaughters are found wanting, they'd question a great many things... and could cause trouble when the Grand Council meets to discuss my little proposal, among other orders of business."
Jerry looks over at Joan and the girls, all four of them are suddenly looking very tense, especially Makula. "I have every confidence in all of my daughters to deal with anything the Khans can throw at them. Even Hippolyta if a trial suited for an infant is on hand."
That gets a chuckle from the girls, relaxing them a hair.
"Still. We'll burn that bridge when we get there. No sense borrowing trouble that hasn't come yet."
Komugai nods. "Wise words. Your diplomats have already approved this plan on their end, they'll send you the itinerary and all the fussy details shortly. Unless you have other questions for me?"
"I've heard there's a grand council of patriarchs too. Would getting in good with them help?"
That gets a full on shrug from the massive warrior woman. "Yes? I mean. Probably. No good way to arrange that though beyond asking my hubby, and I have. He said their council will handle things if it's deemed appropriate, and I don't need to fuss about it too much, and I know a polite way to be asked to fuck off when I hear one... so keep your head on a swivel on that one Jerry, I'm sure the patriarchs are well aware of the Undaunted... and are looking at a possible way to make warriors out of their sons without making their wives piss their frilly panties."
The khan's brilliant white teeth glitter in the room. "Back when we were the more traditional kind of savages back on our homeworld, the bulls did a lot of the leading and the fighting on an individual basis. Women however have always fought the wars. As we grew as a species, developed power armor, space travel, had our population bloom, a bull fighting another in single combat became less practical, and the other traditional male roles of shaman, guide, and brain trust came to the forefront. The council of patriarchs is an old body Jerry. Pre space flight. One of our first forms of international diplomacy between the khans. The matriarchs hold all the power... but when the council of patriarchs speaks, people know to shut up and pay attention."
Jerry nods slowly. Seemed like he'd just have to wait and see... and make sure he made a good impression when the opportunity presented itself.
"Well. I think that concludes everything we need to talk about professionally. Unless you have something else Khan Karchara?"
"Aww, just call me Mama like my big fuzz ball over here used to when we're not working! I've heard a bit about this little fortress of yours, could you all give me the tour? I'd like a chance to talk to all my new granddaughters after all."
Jerry shrugs. "Sure, we'll head up to the Den for a bit, then head down to the promenade to join the girls for some drinks and skewers. Our Cannidor eatery's got the best skewers in wild space whenever we're there."
"Don't I believe it, get to try some more Earth meats too! Bought a little sampler pack from a friend and good goddess, if you start exporting that bacon stuff in bulk, I'm going to invest in a chain of gyms, because there's going to be a lot of girls fighting to keep their girlish figures!"
First Last (SFW) Last (NSFW) Next
submitted by KamchatkasRevenge to HFY [link] [comments]
The situation reminded Jerry of a similar reception back on Serbow... but this one was a bit less ceremonial and a bit more... dynamic. They didn't have any formal bonds with Clan Karchara, or their Khan, Komugai. So as a meeting of two new to each other factions, things could get... exciting. Which considering they were talking about Cannidor meant that things could potentially get very violent, very quickly.
They usually didn't. Not any more. Yet... it never helped to play it safe, even with a clan that had a decent reputation like the Karchara. More cut throat clans had been heard to disguise themselves for meetings like this for meetings so they could ambush their targets after all. Plus as always, there was tradition to observe and satisfy. Tradition which could be best summarized as 'Offer one hand, but arm the other.'. The Cannidor were ready to fight a war naked among any people but their own. They were beyond dangerous. So an armed society wasn't so much a polite society as the unarmed were likely mentally infirm, and to be politely left to their own devices.
A sharp whistle from the 1MC draws Jerry from his thoughts.
"Now hear this! The Clan Karchara envoy is arriving!"
The Karchara drop ship slides into view out of the black and makes it's way towards the docking day with all the leisurely grace of a terrestrial shark swimming towards a coral reef. Whoever's piloting it is clearly a hot hand on the stick because the ship moves as smooth as anything Jerry had ever seen out of Cruel Space, extending it's landing gear and coming to a halt with nary a hint of a bounce in it's suspension and shock absorbing gear.
"Hmmm. The Karchara..." Jaruna rumbles. "An interesting contact in Cannidor space to be sure. So to recap what we talked about, they're somewhat on and off again allies of my old clan. Decent types for the most part. No idea who the Khan is now, and a little searching online didn't turn anything up. Don't think the intelligence weasels had anything either. Save that they've been having some internal structural changes. Seized a new planet too, lighting raid, unconventional tactics, whatever that means. Gives them complete control of... ten decently populated and industrialized star systems I think. They're firmly in the middle of the power band for the Khans by that measurement, exact position depends on the number of warriors under arms they can bring to the Golden Khan's muster."
"Right. Well. Guess we'll have to see what Khan Karchara wants to chat about, and hear about this plan of hers."
The Karchara drop ship settles onto it's landing gear, and it's flight crew leaves the engines running. Tradition. You never knew if a reception was actually friendly after all, and it was also a mark of respect for the hosts. You might be asked to fuck off after all.
The forward assault ramp drops, and the honor guard warriors of the Khan march out, in power armor, but with their helmets off, fanning out to cover their leader. The lack of helmets was very much a declaration of intent, the human equivalent of open palms for a Cannidor in power armor.
Jaruna's brow instantly furrows as she scans the faces of the honor guard.
"...Wait. I know some of those girls. One of my aunts, Norkath is there on the left, and that's... but that."
Jerry can hear Jaruna's brain crunching that information.
"...Komugai. You said the Khan's name was Komugai? Not Jelvuna?"
"Definently Komugai."
"...Unless she changed her name... but then would Aunt Norkath join the Karchara proper without her...?"
Jaruna mutters to herself, clearly trying to puzzle whatever's eating at her out, when the sound of heavy boots on the assault ramp sound, and an utterly massive Cannidor woman starts to come into view. She cuts an imposing presence. Her uniform not too far off from Jerry's, a mix of barbarian warlord and modern dress uniform. The massive war ax over her shoulder tipping the scales on the barbarian - modern officer scale towards barbarian. It was easy to miss her other various weapons in the sheer scale of her. Her stark white fur, the three brutal scars across her muzzle, and another two over her left eye, which had a cybernetic replacement.
Khan Karchara stands for a moment, surveying the room silently... and before anyone can say anything, Jaruna breaks the silence;
"...Mom?"
Khan Karchara cuts loose with a booming laugh that reminds Jerry of Khan Isuras, and if this is indeed Jaruna's mother, he can immediately see exactly why the two women cut palms and swore sisterhood. He wouldn't be hard pressed to believe they were actual sisters.
"Heh. Glad to see all that time on Centris hasn't dulled your powers of observation! Always said you were a sharp one."
There's no sarcasm there, a little maternal teasing perhaps, but she's not mocking Jaruna. Anyone with eyes can tell Khan Karchara is damn proud of her child.
"And this'd be my son in law... bit small but hell just from your first date with my little girl I know you're a first class head kicker, plus you already gave me four grandbabies to spoil! Hahah. I suppose these bigguns here are the older girls? I... say. I thought there was three of you."
Karchara points at Makula.
"You're a bit old to be Hippolyta considering she was born a couple weeks ago. Who are you, girl?"
"Makula Sa'Bridger, I was adopted a few days ago. Honored Matron."
Karchara grins, her numerous teeth gleaming in the light of the hangar.
"Matron? Not Khan?"
"You are my mother's mother, standing in my family's clan hold. To refer to your title by right of blood is most appropriate."
Another bark of laughter.
"Well drilled and whip smart I see. You know the ways of our kind well, granddaughter." Karchara smirks, looking smug before turning to her honor guard.
"See girls? Five now! Haha! What a stud of a bull!"
Khan Karchara turns back to Jerry and Jaruna.
"Ah but I'm getting ahead of myself. Let's get the formal bit done so we can go jaw a bit and then hopefully I can visit with my eldest daughter, my son in law and these fine young ladies."
She quickly shifts her body a bit, drawing herself up to her full, imposing twelve foot height.
"I am Komugai, Khan of Karchara. I come to broker peace and fellowship between our clans, to join them in a bond of steel that will stand the sword storm for all time."
Jerry nods slowly. More than they'd expected actually. That was laying out intent to conduct some very, very serious negotiations.
"I, Jeremiah, Khan of Bridger, Admiral of this fleet, lord of these proud warriors before you, bid you welcome, Komugai of Karchara, bring your banner among ours, that they might rest together while we discuss the business of peace, and of wars yet to come."
"Well spoken indeed... and the steel in your eyes." Komugai nods slowly. "Yes, I see what you see in him, Jaruna, well past his considerable combat skills. All the better my dear son-in-law that you have already begun working on my grand design... but come, let us dismiss our warriors that they might go and eat, drink and enjoy themselves. We need only you, Jaruna, and perhaps my granddaughters for this business, so that they might learn the ways of leadership."
"I think we can accommodate that." Jerry says before turning and pulling the ax off of his belt and raising it high, an ancient Cannidor signal for attention from the leader of a warband to their warriors.
"Warriors, we walk with friends, show them to the promenade, that they might share our table while we discuss business."
Jerry and Jaruna guide Komugai to the conference room they'd prepared, while Joan and the girls quickly hustle to get their armor stowed and get their tails to the same spot. None of them wanted to miss a minute of this!
Still, the tension in the room's fairly heavy when the door closes, and Jaruna turns on her mother.
"Alright. We got a couple minutes till the girls get up here. What the hell, mom? You changed your name? Took over the Karchara? What the heck is going on?"
Komugai settles herself in a Cannidor scale chair, grinning all the while.
"You should be happier, daughter. This was inspired by you after all. When you left our band. Left the old clan... I knew you were right. We won't speak of that business, but we were obligated... and I should have been brave enough to refuse, but I lacked the standing... and perhaps the courage. So I did what any good Khan worth her blades would do and crammed it down their throats. Broke that clan, took them in, then subsumed the Karchara with my new band. They've got the older name, so I became Khan Karchara instead of remaining Khan Jormuntide. Your Aunt's got the title now. I'd offer it to you, but you've got your own clan now."
"So Jormuntide remains at least." Jaruna shuts her eyes for a second and lets out a slow breath. "You really did all this because of my idealistic and childish temper tantrum nearly a century ago?"
"Hardly childish. Idealistic? Absolutely. There's something to be said for actually trying to live up to our own ideals though. Especially as warriors. However, that is personal business, and we have business to discuss for the Undaunted first."
Komugai turns to face Jerry square on.
"Admiral Bridger, I'm prepared to offer two things to the Undaunted. One. I want to ally myself and my clan formally with the Undaunted. Second, I prepared to gift an entire star system to the same from my holdings. It is populated, but sparsely across three habitable worlds. Ripe for ongoing colonization and industrialization. To keep things fair, people within my clans will be given a chance to move to or from as they please if for some reason they don't wish for Undaunted citizenship. The Undaunted will then have the standing to select a Khan for your Cannidor population, both in Cannidor space, and Undaunted wide. A non voting position at first, but as the clan grows you will achieve that status quickly I believe."
Jerry stops dead. "...Did you just offer us a star system with three habitable worlds?"
"Yes."
"...Okay, I'm on board, but why?"
"Simply put, the worlds are marginal. They need investment. They need settlers. You need worlds. A strong alliance with humanity... and being the first Cannidor clan to extend that hand formally, even having your realm within my space... only benefits me. As I grow my own territory I might even cede another system to the Undaunted. If the Undaunted Khan helps me in those battles I damn sure will." Komugai chuckles. "We'll see how many Khans are stupid enough to try to fight me in the next few decades of course. The other thing I'm trading on is Undaunted naval power. As you just learned, we don't really do navies. I want a professional navy, the Undaunted have agreed to help me get it... and help secure my space once we secure them my end of the bargain, that, Admiral, is where you come in."
Jerry arches an eyebrow and gestures for Komugai to continue.
"Simply put, you need to do what you just did with that border bandit Khan Irgalas, but across Cannidor space. This isn't a done deal. It's up to the Grand Council and I'm but one vote. You already have an in with some of the other Khans, and the Undaunted are doing business with Cannid Solutions. That's an excellent start, and you just made a stellar formal introduction of yourself to Cannidor space. A flawless orbital and ground fight like that'll make sure word gets around that the Undaunted are here... and as dangerous as their rep says they are. I got a little list of the other movers and shakers you need to press the flesh with to win over key parts of the council. You make the rounds, and I'll be doing the same on my end. We meet on Canis Prime for the council meeting, and then we either have a huge brawl to make our point or toast victory with some top quality booze."
"You make it sound pretty simple." Jerry says, clearly not believing there's all there is to it.
Komugai shrugs. "It is simple in its concept. Pressing the flesh and winning the various Khans over won't be. They'll all have their little tests and challenges for you to get the measure of both humans and the Undaunted. We've seen a lot on the trivid as a species. A lot of us have heard stuff in the news or from kin. This is your chance to just straight up show people who you are and what you're about. Because now you're here, and therefore 'real'. If that makes any sense. Cannidor don't really care much about shit happening on the other half of the galactic disk. Undaunted, Humans, being here? Now? Now people will really start paying attention besides idly seeing if there's some interesting amateur porn or more combat footage available."
The Khan points over at Joan, Boudicca, Khutulun and Makula. "These four will likely be very critical to the warrior house's opinion of you... your next generation of warriors, your daughters. How are they treated? How are they trained? What's their mettle like? If they're strong, and worthy, you will impress the khans in a very good way. If my granddaughters are found wanting, they'd question a great many things... and could cause trouble when the Grand Council meets to discuss my little proposal, among other orders of business."
Jerry looks over at Joan and the girls, all four of them are suddenly looking very tense, especially Makula. "I have every confidence in all of my daughters to deal with anything the Khans can throw at them. Even Hippolyta if a trial suited for an infant is on hand."
That gets a chuckle from the girls, relaxing them a hair.
"Still. We'll burn that bridge when we get there. No sense borrowing trouble that hasn't come yet."
Komugai nods. "Wise words. Your diplomats have already approved this plan on their end, they'll send you the itinerary and all the fussy details shortly. Unless you have other questions for me?"
"I've heard there's a grand council of patriarchs too. Would getting in good with them help?"
That gets a full on shrug from the massive warrior woman. "Yes? I mean. Probably. No good way to arrange that though beyond asking my hubby, and I have. He said their council will handle things if it's deemed appropriate, and I don't need to fuss about it too much, and I know a polite way to be asked to fuck off when I hear one... so keep your head on a swivel on that one Jerry, I'm sure the patriarchs are well aware of the Undaunted... and are looking at a possible way to make warriors out of their sons without making their wives piss their frilly panties."
The khan's brilliant white teeth glitter in the room. "Back when we were the more traditional kind of savages back on our homeworld, the bulls did a lot of the leading and the fighting on an individual basis. Women however have always fought the wars. As we grew as a species, developed power armor, space travel, had our population bloom, a bull fighting another in single combat became less practical, and the other traditional male roles of shaman, guide, and brain trust came to the forefront. The council of patriarchs is an old body Jerry. Pre space flight. One of our first forms of international diplomacy between the khans. The matriarchs hold all the power... but when the council of patriarchs speaks, people know to shut up and pay attention."
Jerry nods slowly. Seemed like he'd just have to wait and see... and make sure he made a good impression when the opportunity presented itself.
"Well. I think that concludes everything we need to talk about professionally. Unless you have something else Khan Karchara?"
"Aww, just call me Mama like my big fuzz ball over here used to when we're not working! I've heard a bit about this little fortress of yours, could you all give me the tour? I'd like a chance to talk to all my new granddaughters after all."
Jerry shrugs. "Sure, we'll head up to the Den for a bit, then head down to the promenade to join the girls for some drinks and skewers. Our Cannidor eatery's got the best skewers in wild space whenever we're there."
"Don't I believe it, get to try some more Earth meats too! Bought a little sampler pack from a friend and good goddess, if you start exporting that bacon stuff in bulk, I'm going to invest in a chain of gyms, because there's going to be a lot of girls fighting to keep their girlish figures!"
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2024.05.13 07:49 Fearadhach [OC] Running Trust (PRVerse Book 2 C2.3)
(Prev) wiki
Julia sat with the 'blue' side of her family and smiled as everyone laughed at her toast to the 'dead' Empress's health. Everyone tried to talk at once, but her cousin got there first. “Oh, it was only three days before the first time Aunty Empress kicked grandma outta the palace. Had to kick her out about once a week for the first six months before she got it through her head that she was an advisor – and a secret advisor at that – rather than the one in charge.”
Aunt Irnor waved a hand and interjected. “Oh, she wasn’t as bad as all that. Half the time Liera was kicking her out because she wanted to go do something in her new persona, but felt obligated to stay by her daughter’s side. The other half, well… Her head knew she wasn’t in charge anymore, was even glad she wasn’t. Her gut, though… sometimes that got in the way.
“It only took a year for Leira to get herself really situated on the throne, and then it was Enibal who kicked my sister-in-law out, with firm orders to only come if called or on a social visit... or stay away.”
They all laughed a little at the image of the avowed-coward Enibal reading the riot act to the former Empress. Julia tried to call the image up in her head and it got more ridiculous with each attempt. She finally took another drink and decided to move the conversation forward. “I do have to say, your practice of faking the monarch’s death and having them stick around has a lot of wisdom. Still, one thing from the funeral has always nagged at the back of my mind: how did they manage that with the body? If I hadn’t known better I’d have sworn I was looking at her!”
This time Golna answered. “In a way you were: the body was a clone. Carefully grown so that it never had anything resembling a mind – or even a brain – built for just that occasion.”
Why does this surprise me so much? It is not like I didn’t know the Venter have that kind of tech. I should have… oh. A little internal embarrassment colored her cheeks. Wow, I’ve had too much to drink or finally managed to relax. Maybe both. She smiled at everyone’s quizzical looks and sighed. Guess I owe sis an apology, and myself some time in meditation. She was right, I was wrong, and I became that invested in being right?
Everyone continued to look at her with slightly puzzled expressions. “I should have figured that out, I think. I guess I just didn’t think you guys would go to that sort of expense for something like that. Couldn’t have been cheap, how did you hide the expense?”
Kaz took a pull from his glass and answered. “Oh we didn’t hide it, exactly, because we didn’t use State funds. We never do for personal stuff. The royal family is independently wealthy, always has been. You see…” A pillow flew through the air and just missed Uncle’s drink. Julia giggled as he shot one of his wives a look and continued. “Ok, fine. Short version: the Family has always had a number of private holdings which we use to maintain our expenses. Plus, it is the duty of any sibling who doesn’t end up with the diadem around their neck, or otherwise in government, to contribute to those holdings; which is a lot of what the company I founded is all about.”
Julia smirked at her Uncle and looked pointedly at the pillow on the floor, then back at him. “Ok, that is the second time today. What is with the words ‘You see,’ and what the hell did all of you get up to back then?”
Everyone laughed, but Aunt Yoro answered. “Well, you see…” She pointedly looked around for incoming fluffy projectiles, but only got groans and rolled eyes. “Those two words tend to be predicated by someone – often someone who is particularly excited about their subject matter – launching into far too much detail about the matter at hand and derailing the conversation… so, we tend to stop someone whenever they are spoken and make them summarize.
“It seems to have started with your father trying to get ahold on the most brilliant, if uncouth, technical mind I have ever dealt with. A guy named…”
“Jake.” A giggle escaped before Julia could even consider suppressing it. “I think I met him this morning, and it seems that you folks aren’t the only ones who had the same sort of problem with him…”
That brought a round of laughter, a toast to Jake, and a pointed change of subject to move them away from the day’s events again.
Soon the food came and they all tucked in with a will. Julia found herself surprised at her level of hunger after so much stress, but chalked it up to a lack of proper food during most of the day. Dinner conversation stayed lively, with her relatives carrying most of the conversation – although they also teased a lot of anecdotes and gossip out of her.
Once the plates had been cleared she settled in, with a warm glow in her heart, her belly, and on her cheeks, for more quiet time with these people whom she so loved and hadn’t seen in far too long. Then she started awake after her cousin touched her on the shoulder and looked up to see sympathetic smiles all around.
Her cousin spoke. “If you were your Venter sister I’d harry you off to your room myself, help you shower, and tuck you into bed.” They both laughed as the woman helped her stand. “You were always a more private person than that, though, and it seems you can stand un-assisted, so I’ll leave off and let you sleep.” A mock-stern look appeared on her face. “As long as you swear to me you will go straight to bed! Stop in the shower if you feel you have to, but get some sleep!”
Julia smiled and felt herself rock slightly on her feet while she nodded in answer. Hugs, kisses on the cheeks, reassuring pats, and a few more hugs went back and forth in amiable silence and the ‘blue’ side of her family hurried out. She walked to her bedroom and gave one longing look at the bathroom door with its shower hidden behind it, but realized she’d be facing a challenge just getting undressed without falling asleep. It seemed all the energy had gone out of her with everyone’s departure. She didn’t even remember her head hitting the pillow.
*
The next day her alarm went off way too early. She reached for her phone and found the alarm was a barrage of non-stop incoming messages. By the time she realized she’d missed breakfast she suspected someone was trying to keep her busy as she grabbed a few bites between meetings. When she realized she’d missed lunch, as well, and pulled up her schedule for the day while she walked to meet with yet another Ambassador and watched a meeting get canceled only to be replaced in moments she became sure of it.
Then she opened the door to her next meeting and had to work to keep a smile on her face. Tigesh. And, he looks even more unhappy than Tigesh normally do. Why the hell wasn’t I briefed before meeting with him? These people are difficult to deal with on the best of days, and will only request a meeting if they think they have some sort of advantage over you. She glanced at her phone, thankful she still had it in her hand, and her eyes narrowed slightly. The appointment read ‘Foreign Ambassador at Foreign request.’ Someone is going to get an earful. I may be the only ranked Ambassador here at the moment with Silesh recalled and Jorgenson booted to Advisor, but you do ~not~ send someone in the deal with one of these little trolls blind!
She pulled her expression back to neutral and faced the furry little man. Their resemblance to upright badgers – the American kind, not the more docile versions – doesn’t end with their appearance, more’s the pity. She tried to recall how best to handle them and their aggressive, contrarian nature from her few dealings with them, but ended up having to suppress a shudder instead. Nothing for it, then, I…
The Ambassador spoke, his voice dripping with rancor. “First you send me a communication telling me that you urgently need to meet with me to explain what is as clear to everyone as the whiskers on their own faces, then you stand there grinning at me with a frozen face like an idiot who has forgotten how to talk while you glance at your phone. Do you have business to discuss, Human, or did you just call me here because you have been so quickly elevated to First among your peers and wish to waste everyone’s time?”
She dropped her smile and felt her eyes narrow again. The badger’s attitude and speech had given her plenty of steam in and of themselves, but his revelation that ‘she’ had requested the appointment put a fire in her. I don’t know who you are, nor why you want me buried in meetings all day, but you just made a severe tactical error. I am going to find you and I am going to send you back to Earth immediately, if I have to throw you through the void to do it!
“It would seem, Ambassador, that there has been an issue. I was told that your office requested this meeting.” The man drew himself up, obviously intending to launch into another rant, but she held up a hand to forestall him. “I know that your time is valuable, of course, and do not wish you to think I wasted your time on purpose. That said, I also do not appreciate being accused of trying to waste people’s time or failing to recognize the value of, well, anything. So, since you obviously don’t wish to converse nor take advantage of this opportunity to gain information nor build bridges with the second-tier Human Ambassador, who is simply doing everything she can with what little she has been left after the upheaval you spoke of, it would be better for you to wait to speak with the new First tier Ambassadors when she arrives in a few days.”
She speared him with a hard look, and dared him to try and press. He blinked rapidly, obviously trying to find some slight in her words he could grab onto and claim offense. She waited until the confusion had set in deep and interrupted his thoughts by speaking and pulling a small chocolate bar out of her sleeve. “However, I would hate for you to leave our meeting with too bad an impression of me, low-ranked as I am. Therefore I will give you this as a token of appreciation for your willingness to answer the request for a meeting, and bid you good day, sir. If you will excuse me, I am sure the nice youngster who showed you in will be happy to help you go.”
With that she diffidently tossed the candy bar down the length of the table and left. She glanced behind her as the door closed, and allowed herself a satisfied smile as soon as it did: the candy bar had stopped just short of the little jerk’s reach, so that he’d have to scramble or move around the table to get to it. I don’t care if it is against regs to use chocolate as a bargaining chip with Ambassadors, I can always claim expedience and lack of experience at this posting if I have to. Of course, that is the kind of stunt you can only get away with once, and I can’t believe I had to use it on my second day!
Now, who can I trust?
wiki (Next)
submitted by Fearadhach to HFY [link] [comments]
Julia sat with the 'blue' side of her family and smiled as everyone laughed at her toast to the 'dead' Empress's health. Everyone tried to talk at once, but her cousin got there first. “Oh, it was only three days before the first time Aunty Empress kicked grandma outta the palace. Had to kick her out about once a week for the first six months before she got it through her head that she was an advisor – and a secret advisor at that – rather than the one in charge.”
Aunt Irnor waved a hand and interjected. “Oh, she wasn’t as bad as all that. Half the time Liera was kicking her out because she wanted to go do something in her new persona, but felt obligated to stay by her daughter’s side. The other half, well… Her head knew she wasn’t in charge anymore, was even glad she wasn’t. Her gut, though… sometimes that got in the way.
“It only took a year for Leira to get herself really situated on the throne, and then it was Enibal who kicked my sister-in-law out, with firm orders to only come if called or on a social visit... or stay away.”
They all laughed a little at the image of the avowed-coward Enibal reading the riot act to the former Empress. Julia tried to call the image up in her head and it got more ridiculous with each attempt. She finally took another drink and decided to move the conversation forward. “I do have to say, your practice of faking the monarch’s death and having them stick around has a lot of wisdom. Still, one thing from the funeral has always nagged at the back of my mind: how did they manage that with the body? If I hadn’t known better I’d have sworn I was looking at her!”
This time Golna answered. “In a way you were: the body was a clone. Carefully grown so that it never had anything resembling a mind – or even a brain – built for just that occasion.”
Why does this surprise me so much? It is not like I didn’t know the Venter have that kind of tech. I should have… oh. A little internal embarrassment colored her cheeks. Wow, I’ve had too much to drink or finally managed to relax. Maybe both. She smiled at everyone’s quizzical looks and sighed. Guess I owe sis an apology, and myself some time in meditation. She was right, I was wrong, and I became that invested in being right?
Everyone continued to look at her with slightly puzzled expressions. “I should have figured that out, I think. I guess I just didn’t think you guys would go to that sort of expense for something like that. Couldn’t have been cheap, how did you hide the expense?”
Kaz took a pull from his glass and answered. “Oh we didn’t hide it, exactly, because we didn’t use State funds. We never do for personal stuff. The royal family is independently wealthy, always has been. You see…” A pillow flew through the air and just missed Uncle’s drink. Julia giggled as he shot one of his wives a look and continued. “Ok, fine. Short version: the Family has always had a number of private holdings which we use to maintain our expenses. Plus, it is the duty of any sibling who doesn’t end up with the diadem around their neck, or otherwise in government, to contribute to those holdings; which is a lot of what the company I founded is all about.”
Julia smirked at her Uncle and looked pointedly at the pillow on the floor, then back at him. “Ok, that is the second time today. What is with the words ‘You see,’ and what the hell did all of you get up to back then?”
Everyone laughed, but Aunt Yoro answered. “Well, you see…” She pointedly looked around for incoming fluffy projectiles, but only got groans and rolled eyes. “Those two words tend to be predicated by someone – often someone who is particularly excited about their subject matter – launching into far too much detail about the matter at hand and derailing the conversation… so, we tend to stop someone whenever they are spoken and make them summarize.
“It seems to have started with your father trying to get ahold on the most brilliant, if uncouth, technical mind I have ever dealt with. A guy named…”
“Jake.” A giggle escaped before Julia could even consider suppressing it. “I think I met him this morning, and it seems that you folks aren’t the only ones who had the same sort of problem with him…”
That brought a round of laughter, a toast to Jake, and a pointed change of subject to move them away from the day’s events again.
Soon the food came and they all tucked in with a will. Julia found herself surprised at her level of hunger after so much stress, but chalked it up to a lack of proper food during most of the day. Dinner conversation stayed lively, with her relatives carrying most of the conversation – although they also teased a lot of anecdotes and gossip out of her.
Once the plates had been cleared she settled in, with a warm glow in her heart, her belly, and on her cheeks, for more quiet time with these people whom she so loved and hadn’t seen in far too long. Then she started awake after her cousin touched her on the shoulder and looked up to see sympathetic smiles all around.
Her cousin spoke. “If you were your Venter sister I’d harry you off to your room myself, help you shower, and tuck you into bed.” They both laughed as the woman helped her stand. “You were always a more private person than that, though, and it seems you can stand un-assisted, so I’ll leave off and let you sleep.” A mock-stern look appeared on her face. “As long as you swear to me you will go straight to bed! Stop in the shower if you feel you have to, but get some sleep!”
Julia smiled and felt herself rock slightly on her feet while she nodded in answer. Hugs, kisses on the cheeks, reassuring pats, and a few more hugs went back and forth in amiable silence and the ‘blue’ side of her family hurried out. She walked to her bedroom and gave one longing look at the bathroom door with its shower hidden behind it, but realized she’d be facing a challenge just getting undressed without falling asleep. It seemed all the energy had gone out of her with everyone’s departure. She didn’t even remember her head hitting the pillow.
*
The next day her alarm went off way too early. She reached for her phone and found the alarm was a barrage of non-stop incoming messages. By the time she realized she’d missed breakfast she suspected someone was trying to keep her busy as she grabbed a few bites between meetings. When she realized she’d missed lunch, as well, and pulled up her schedule for the day while she walked to meet with yet another Ambassador and watched a meeting get canceled only to be replaced in moments she became sure of it.
Then she opened the door to her next meeting and had to work to keep a smile on her face. Tigesh. And, he looks even more unhappy than Tigesh normally do. Why the hell wasn’t I briefed before meeting with him? These people are difficult to deal with on the best of days, and will only request a meeting if they think they have some sort of advantage over you. She glanced at her phone, thankful she still had it in her hand, and her eyes narrowed slightly. The appointment read ‘Foreign Ambassador at Foreign request.’ Someone is going to get an earful. I may be the only ranked Ambassador here at the moment with Silesh recalled and Jorgenson booted to Advisor, but you do ~not~ send someone in the deal with one of these little trolls blind!
She pulled her expression back to neutral and faced the furry little man. Their resemblance to upright badgers – the American kind, not the more docile versions – doesn’t end with their appearance, more’s the pity. She tried to recall how best to handle them and their aggressive, contrarian nature from her few dealings with them, but ended up having to suppress a shudder instead. Nothing for it, then, I…
The Ambassador spoke, his voice dripping with rancor. “First you send me a communication telling me that you urgently need to meet with me to explain what is as clear to everyone as the whiskers on their own faces, then you stand there grinning at me with a frozen face like an idiot who has forgotten how to talk while you glance at your phone. Do you have business to discuss, Human, or did you just call me here because you have been so quickly elevated to First among your peers and wish to waste everyone’s time?”
She dropped her smile and felt her eyes narrow again. The badger’s attitude and speech had given her plenty of steam in and of themselves, but his revelation that ‘she’ had requested the appointment put a fire in her. I don’t know who you are, nor why you want me buried in meetings all day, but you just made a severe tactical error. I am going to find you and I am going to send you back to Earth immediately, if I have to throw you through the void to do it!
“It would seem, Ambassador, that there has been an issue. I was told that your office requested this meeting.” The man drew himself up, obviously intending to launch into another rant, but she held up a hand to forestall him. “I know that your time is valuable, of course, and do not wish you to think I wasted your time on purpose. That said, I also do not appreciate being accused of trying to waste people’s time or failing to recognize the value of, well, anything. So, since you obviously don’t wish to converse nor take advantage of this opportunity to gain information nor build bridges with the second-tier Human Ambassador, who is simply doing everything she can with what little she has been left after the upheaval you spoke of, it would be better for you to wait to speak with the new First tier Ambassadors when she arrives in a few days.”
She speared him with a hard look, and dared him to try and press. He blinked rapidly, obviously trying to find some slight in her words he could grab onto and claim offense. She waited until the confusion had set in deep and interrupted his thoughts by speaking and pulling a small chocolate bar out of her sleeve. “However, I would hate for you to leave our meeting with too bad an impression of me, low-ranked as I am. Therefore I will give you this as a token of appreciation for your willingness to answer the request for a meeting, and bid you good day, sir. If you will excuse me, I am sure the nice youngster who showed you in will be happy to help you go.”
With that she diffidently tossed the candy bar down the length of the table and left. She glanced behind her as the door closed, and allowed herself a satisfied smile as soon as it did: the candy bar had stopped just short of the little jerk’s reach, so that he’d have to scramble or move around the table to get to it. I don’t care if it is against regs to use chocolate as a bargaining chip with Ambassadors, I can always claim expedience and lack of experience at this posting if I have to. Of course, that is the kind of stunt you can only get away with once, and I can’t believe I had to use it on my second day!
Now, who can I trust?
wiki (Next)
2024.05.07 06:02 Direct-Caterpillar77 My parents won’t attend my wedding (New Update)
I am not The OOP, OOP is u/greedprincess
My parents won’t attend my wedding
Originally posted to raisedbynarcissists
TRIGGER WARNING: emotional abuse and manipulation, controlling behavior, classism, verbal abuse, xenophobia
BoRU 1
BoRU 2
Original Post Jan 16, 2024
My parents won't attend my wedding, and here's why:
SHORT STORY: At 24(f), I find myself in a heartbreaking situation – my parents won't be at my wedding. The reason? I refused to invite their friends, (I’ll call them the Scotts,) who made my life a living hell during the year I lived in their guest house. From false accusations to disrespecting my fiancé, things reached a breaking point. Fast forward to wedding planning, and the Scotts became a point of contention. When I stood firm on not inviting them, it led to a family fallout. Despite my attempts to mend things, my parents are boycotting the wedding.
LONG STORY: In 2021, fresh out of college, I moved to a new state for a job. Facing high rent, the Scotts, family friends of my parents, offered me their guest house for a mere $300 a month. Little did I know, this seemingly sweet deal would lead to a year of turmoil.
The Scotts, long-time friends and business partners of my parents, had three kids. As soon as I settled in, the Scott’s became excessively involved in my personal life, particularly my relationship. The situation took a dark turn as they fabricated scenarios to my parents, accusing me of promiscuity, rarely being home, and even planning to secretly move in with my boyfriend. Their disdain for my boyfriend was palpable – treating him with passive-aggression, condescension, and even making derogatory comments about him being adopted.
The interference escalated with "family meetings" where they labeled me as a poor influence on their teenage daughter, criticizing my boyfriend (whom they had met only three times). And I have to add, my bf and I don’t drink or smoke and both have careers - my bf is a perfectly good man and was always respectful to them despite their poor treatment. The "dad" of the Scott family went to the extent of sharing his marriage problems and lack of a sex life, blurring the boundaries of landlord-tenant/inappropriate relationships.
The breaking point came when the fridge in the guest house broke, and they insisted I foot the bill for a $900 replacement. Their influence over my parents was significant, as my parents rarely had my back and sided with the Scotts, constantly belittling my boyfriend without reason. By the end of 2022, I decided to move out with some girlfriends of mine, leaving without saying goodbye to avoid further confrontation.
Fast forward to the summer of 2023, my boyfriend and I were living together in a new state, and he proposed. To my surprise, when he asked my parents for their blessings, they were supportive and enthusiastic. My parents were even flown out to witness our engagement.
As we delved into wedding planning in the fall of 2023, my fiancé's parents generously offered to finance the wedding. Strangely, my mother declined involvement in the planning, claiming she hated it. Despite repeated invitations from myself and my future mother-in-law, she insisted we handle everything on our own, a departure from the typical involvement of the mother of the bride. My MIL did fly my mom out to NY for wedding dress shopping which was fun, but my mother insisted on the trip that this was all she wanted to do.
Winter 2023 brought a text from my dad, urging me to invite the Scotts. I respectfully declined, citing the distress it would cause me on our special day. This refusal triggered a nuclear war within the family. My parents, adamant about the Scotts' inclusion, declared they wouldn't attend the wedding. My dad accused me of starting my happy life by destroying his, and my mother uninvited me to Christmas.
In attempts to salvage the situation, I apologized and tried to explain my decision. However, my parents were unreceptive, hurling insults and baseless accusations claiming my side of the family has been “cancelled”. My mother then flipped the scripted and threatened to expose details on social media of my disrespect to the family if I didn’t show up for Christmas.
Despite exchanging Christmas and birthday greetings via text I’ve not spoken to them about the situation, the pain of their absence and the harsh words lingers as I approach my wedding day. I’m confused, I’m guilty, I’m in pain. The fallout, all because I refused to invite the Scotts.
OOP Added an edit to the original post
Thank you u/FrenchKissyToast for letting me know about it
EDIT: we are having a destination wedding and the festivities will begin 3 days prior to the wedding. So if caved in and invited the Scotts, I would have to endure up to 4 days of them. I don’t want to walk around the resort and turn around and have to see them and instantly get into a bad mood. Also, I am afraid if my parents decide to show up without the Scott’s that they will cause drama. ;(
RELEVANT COMMENTS
Useful-Commission-76
OOP on what her fiance thinks of the situation
On why OOP thinks the parents want the Scotts there
Context from my original post: At 24(f), I find myself in a heartbreaking situation – my parents won't be at my wedding. The reason? I refused to invite their friends.
Update: I woke up this morning to a bunch of texts from my mother. She demanded that i end my engagement, cancel the wedding, quit my job, and move back to their home.
She started saying things like “I know you’re unhappy. It’s okay, you tried. Now it’s time to come home. You have some maturing you need to do.” This irks me so much.
My parents literally gave their blessings for my marriage 6 months ago. Now they want me to change my entire life because they’re mad they didn’t get their way.
I responded and said this is my life and if they don’t want to respect my decisions, that’s on them. But I am in utter shock. I am financially independent of my family…I have a great job, loving partner. How do Nparents come up with this shit?
Update 2 March 16, 2024
UPDATE PART 2: My parents won't attend my wedding
Please read my(24F) first two posts for context, I'm linking them in the comments.
Long story: Three months have passed since my parents declined attending my wedding. Initially, I found peace in acceptance, looking forward to celebrating with those who would be present and knowing my parents wouldn't be there to ruin it. However, a text from my younger brother(19M) shattered that peace, revealing that our parents threatened to kick him out of the house and abandon him financially if he attends my wedding. This utterly crushed me, I am so close with my brothers and I love them DEARLY.
I have three brothers aged, 19, 22, and 27. While my older brother lives independently, my two younger siblings still live with our parents. Despite my parents decision to not come to the wedding, I told my brothers how badly I want them to attend, assuring them of my support. After their shared support, I booked their travel, optimistic about their participation.
I was naive to believe our parents would accept this decision. Their subsequent outburst targeted my brothers, leveraging financial threats to dissuade them from attending, claiming they are betraying the family by supporting me. I offered to financially assist my brothers if they still want to attend knowing they’d get kicked out, but I realize the difficulty of abandoning familiarity.
In response to this outburst, my brothers called me & proposed an intervention, aiming to address broader familial issues, aka the bigger picture of my parents being abusive.
I tried my best to explain this was a BAD idea…I pleaded. Despite my reservations, I supported them via phone call, I felt I was bound by sibling loyalty.
Yesterday's call confirmed my fears. Amidst vile accusations, I endured personal attacks, ranging from insults against my fiancé to baseless critiques of our life choices. My father's tirade, marked by verbal abuse, culminated in a cruel dismissal of my feelings.
Here are a few notes I took during the 2 hour “intervention:
Despite my brothers' attempts at defense, we were OUTMATCHED by our father's narcissism.
Enduring the call was agonizing, yet crucial for my siblings to witness his true nature.
Gaslit and invalidated, Ifelt FEEL so dehumanized. I never thought I would someday block my parents.
Today marks day 1 of going no contact.
TLDR: My parents threatened to kick my youngest brother(19M) out of the house if he attends my wedding. My brothers (19,22,&27) decided to host an intervention that blew up in all of our faces as we were no match for my father's narcissism. Now I've blocked my parents and the fate of my brothers attending my wedding is unknown.
I got married on Friday, a day filled with joy, yet marked by the absence of my parents and two of my brothers. I made the decision to cut off contact with my parents last month, a choice that has since been affirmed, as you'll soon understand...
Despite the absence of my two younger brothers, my older brother stood by me, walking me down the aisle. This unexpected turn of events brought us closer than ever, a silver lining among all the drama and heartbreak.
My wedding day was pure magic—absolutely no drama or stress. It was truly the best day of my life and I have never felt so much love for my husband!!! My husband literally makes all my anxiety disappear! Of course, there were fleeting moments of vulnerability, tears shed in private to my husband as emotions overwhelmed me. Yet, despite the ache of my brothers' absence and lapses of guilt over my parents, the week was nothing short of perfection. I am truly blessed!!!
The day after the ceremony, over breakfast with my husband and older brother, I learned that my parents had been incessantly trying to reach out to my brother. My bro and husband shielded this information from me to not upset me during the week. However, my curiosity got the better of me, and I insisted on asking my brother to see what my parents said to him.
What I read shook me to the core.
My brother texted, “She will never forgive you for this and our entire family will never be the same.”
Her response: “Forgive us? She betrayed the family! She has gone completely insane. This sinister family has completely changed her values and they have been grooming her for 3 years. She is making a huge mistake by marrying. Glad you guys are so close again.” (*sinister family being my in laws)
My mother's venomous words confirmed what I had been grappling with: their belief in their distorted reality. The guilt I had been carrying evaporated in an instant. I realized that my overwhelming happiness with my husband would never be enough for them. I refuse to be held hostage by their misery any longer. You cannot change someone who just wants to be fucking miserable for the rest of their lives.
Here’s where things become laughable…I blocked The Scott’s wife on Instagram so she wouldn’t see my wedding photos. Mr. Scott in response sent a giant text accusing me of being abusive to his wife and children, despite not having seen or spoken to them in over a year. He then said that he will no longer support me and if I get a divorce, he won’t be there for me. I promptly blocked him, refusing to entertain such a stupid message. (PS I thought he was blocked already)
I am excited to start this new chapter in my life and I am thankful for the support and courage this Reddit community has given me. Here's to a future free from the toxic grip of my past!!!
RELEVANT COMMENTS
bwq6666
DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7
submitted by Direct-Caterpillar77 to BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]
My parents won’t attend my wedding
Originally posted to raisedbynarcissists
TRIGGER WARNING: emotional abuse and manipulation, controlling behavior, classism, verbal abuse, xenophobia
BoRU 1
BoRU 2
Original Post Jan 16, 2024
My parents won't attend my wedding, and here's why:
SHORT STORY: At 24(f), I find myself in a heartbreaking situation – my parents won't be at my wedding. The reason? I refused to invite their friends, (I’ll call them the Scotts,) who made my life a living hell during the year I lived in their guest house. From false accusations to disrespecting my fiancé, things reached a breaking point. Fast forward to wedding planning, and the Scotts became a point of contention. When I stood firm on not inviting them, it led to a family fallout. Despite my attempts to mend things, my parents are boycotting the wedding.
LONG STORY: In 2021, fresh out of college, I moved to a new state for a job. Facing high rent, the Scotts, family friends of my parents, offered me their guest house for a mere $300 a month. Little did I know, this seemingly sweet deal would lead to a year of turmoil.
The Scotts, long-time friends and business partners of my parents, had three kids. As soon as I settled in, the Scott’s became excessively involved in my personal life, particularly my relationship. The situation took a dark turn as they fabricated scenarios to my parents, accusing me of promiscuity, rarely being home, and even planning to secretly move in with my boyfriend. Their disdain for my boyfriend was palpable – treating him with passive-aggression, condescension, and even making derogatory comments about him being adopted.
The interference escalated with "family meetings" where they labeled me as a poor influence on their teenage daughter, criticizing my boyfriend (whom they had met only three times). And I have to add, my bf and I don’t drink or smoke and both have careers - my bf is a perfectly good man and was always respectful to them despite their poor treatment. The "dad" of the Scott family went to the extent of sharing his marriage problems and lack of a sex life, blurring the boundaries of landlord-tenant/inappropriate relationships.
The breaking point came when the fridge in the guest house broke, and they insisted I foot the bill for a $900 replacement. Their influence over my parents was significant, as my parents rarely had my back and sided with the Scotts, constantly belittling my boyfriend without reason. By the end of 2022, I decided to move out with some girlfriends of mine, leaving without saying goodbye to avoid further confrontation.
Fast forward to the summer of 2023, my boyfriend and I were living together in a new state, and he proposed. To my surprise, when he asked my parents for their blessings, they were supportive and enthusiastic. My parents were even flown out to witness our engagement.
As we delved into wedding planning in the fall of 2023, my fiancé's parents generously offered to finance the wedding. Strangely, my mother declined involvement in the planning, claiming she hated it. Despite repeated invitations from myself and my future mother-in-law, she insisted we handle everything on our own, a departure from the typical involvement of the mother of the bride. My MIL did fly my mom out to NY for wedding dress shopping which was fun, but my mother insisted on the trip that this was all she wanted to do.
Winter 2023 brought a text from my dad, urging me to invite the Scotts. I respectfully declined, citing the distress it would cause me on our special day. This refusal triggered a nuclear war within the family. My parents, adamant about the Scotts' inclusion, declared they wouldn't attend the wedding. My dad accused me of starting my happy life by destroying his, and my mother uninvited me to Christmas.
In attempts to salvage the situation, I apologized and tried to explain my decision. However, my parents were unreceptive, hurling insults and baseless accusations claiming my side of the family has been “cancelled”. My mother then flipped the scripted and threatened to expose details on social media of my disrespect to the family if I didn’t show up for Christmas.
Despite exchanging Christmas and birthday greetings via text I’ve not spoken to them about the situation, the pain of their absence and the harsh words lingers as I approach my wedding day. I’m confused, I’m guilty, I’m in pain. The fallout, all because I refused to invite the Scotts.
OOP Added an edit to the original post
Thank you u/FrenchKissyToast for letting me know about it
EDIT: we are having a destination wedding and the festivities will begin 3 days prior to the wedding. So if caved in and invited the Scotts, I would have to endure up to 4 days of them. I don’t want to walk around the resort and turn around and have to see them and instantly get into a bad mood. Also, I am afraid if my parents decide to show up without the Scott’s that they will cause drama. ;(
RELEVANT COMMENTS
Useful-Commission-76
“Making derogatory comments about him being adopted” “criticizing my boyfriend” “belittling my boyfriend” It seems like a perfectly reasonable decision for the boyfriend and his parents (who are the ones financing the wedding) to decline to invite these Scott people. I don’t think the bride or her parents have a choice in this matter.OOP
~My future in laws don’t want the Scott’s there. But they would be willing to bite the bullet for me because they feel terrible about my parents not attending. They’re such good people, but there’s no way in hell I’m going to let that happen, especially since they are doing so much for me out of the kindest of their hearts.
However, this actually came up in the argument with my parents and my dad literally said “I don’t have to ask your fiance or his mother for permission to invite who I want to the wedding of my daughter.” My parents say the Scott’s did everything out of protection. It makes me so angry.
OOP on what her fiance thinks of the situation
My fiancé has been incredibly supportive. Most of all he just feels terrible for me and feels that I have been put in a lose-lose situation by my parents. Either I invite the Scott’s and be absolutely miserable on our wedding, OR I don’t invite them and my own parents opt to not attend. He also doesn’t want the Scott’s to attend, but he would be willing to bite the bullet if I was desperate for my parents to come. However like many comments below, I don’t want to start my life with an ultimatum from my parents. If I cave in now, who knows what they will do in the future. I am blessed to be marrying someone who is patient, caring, and supportive.~
On why OOP thinks the parents want the Scotts there
The Scotts invest money into my dad’s small business and they split ownership 50/50. In the initial text from my parents, My dad said that he has been losing sleep for months thinking about how he was going to tell the Scott’s they’re not invited to my wedding. I think my dad is afraid that if he doesn’t invite them, the Scotts will get pissed and pull out. This is speculation, but if this is the case, then some people are right and this is like a blackmail thing. But I don’t want to feel guilty! Why do I have to invite people who give me a visceral reaction of anxiety and stress just because my dad is afraid to tell them no?Update Jan 27, 2024
Context from my original post: At 24(f), I find myself in a heartbreaking situation – my parents won't be at my wedding. The reason? I refused to invite their friends.
Update: I woke up this morning to a bunch of texts from my mother. She demanded that i end my engagement, cancel the wedding, quit my job, and move back to their home.
She started saying things like “I know you’re unhappy. It’s okay, you tried. Now it’s time to come home. You have some maturing you need to do.” This irks me so much.
My parents literally gave their blessings for my marriage 6 months ago. Now they want me to change my entire life because they’re mad they didn’t get their way.
I responded and said this is my life and if they don’t want to respect my decisions, that’s on them. But I am in utter shock. I am financially independent of my family…I have a great job, loving partner. How do Nparents come up with this shit?
Update 2 March 16, 2024
UPDATE PART 2: My parents won't attend my wedding
Please read my(24F) first two posts for context, I'm linking them in the comments.
Long story: Three months have passed since my parents declined attending my wedding. Initially, I found peace in acceptance, looking forward to celebrating with those who would be present and knowing my parents wouldn't be there to ruin it. However, a text from my younger brother(19M) shattered that peace, revealing that our parents threatened to kick him out of the house and abandon him financially if he attends my wedding. This utterly crushed me, I am so close with my brothers and I love them DEARLY.
I have three brothers aged, 19, 22, and 27. While my older brother lives independently, my two younger siblings still live with our parents. Despite my parents decision to not come to the wedding, I told my brothers how badly I want them to attend, assuring them of my support. After their shared support, I booked their travel, optimistic about their participation.
I was naive to believe our parents would accept this decision. Their subsequent outburst targeted my brothers, leveraging financial threats to dissuade them from attending, claiming they are betraying the family by supporting me. I offered to financially assist my brothers if they still want to attend knowing they’d get kicked out, but I realize the difficulty of abandoning familiarity.
In response to this outburst, my brothers called me & proposed an intervention, aiming to address broader familial issues, aka the bigger picture of my parents being abusive.
I tried my best to explain this was a BAD idea…I pleaded. Despite my reservations, I supported them via phone call, I felt I was bound by sibling loyalty.
Yesterday's call confirmed my fears. Amidst vile accusations, I endured personal attacks, ranging from insults against my fiancé to baseless critiques of our life choices. My father's tirade, marked by verbal abuse, culminated in a cruel dismissal of my feelings.
Here are a few notes I took during the 2 hour “intervention:
- My fiancé is not an intellectual because he likes to snowboard and doesn’t know how to have intellectual conversations.
- My fiancé doesn’t have royal or noble blood and therefore cannot have intelligent children.
- It was rude for my fiancé to not bring flowers or wine when he flew from another state for the day to ask for my hand in marriage.
- My decision to change my job and move to a new state with my fiancé is a manipulation tactic.
- My dad said calling people names and insults is the right thing to do when you’re mad.
- My dad said by my decision to change my career path is stupid and I am cutting him out of his life.
- Thinks my fiancé’s job as a salesman makes him a loser.
- My parents are mad I never offered to invite my uncle that I haven’t seen in 13 years who lives in russia. (literal WTF moment for me).
- My dad says my relationship is wrong, and he’s not happy about it. Says it would be smart to break up.
- My dad says he regrets not punching my fiancé in the face when he asked for his blessings and says it will haunt him for the rest of his life that he didn’t punch him. Says the only reason he gave his blessings was to not hurt my feelings.
- Says my fiancé’s parents are mean for not responding to their texts.
- Called my fiancé’s mom a bitch.
- Said everyone at my engagement party is unintellectual and a redneck, and that they were shocked at the crowd I’ve decided to live around.
- The last minute of the call consisted of my dad screaming at the top of his lungs that I am stupid, an idiot, dumb, and a bitch. (I started hysterically crying at this point, I felt like a little girl again).
- He called me a liar when I explained all the horrible things his friends did to me and why I didn't want to invite them to the wedding. He even called me a liar when I explained that his friend(70m) would try to talk about his sex life with me. :(
- Crying I explained to my dad: “I just wish you cared about my feelings too because I am also really hurt and just want you to understand my perspective.” He said…”Why the fuck should I care about your feelings? You don’t respect me, my friends, or my values. Fuck your feelings you stupid bitch.” I ended the call right there.
Despite my brothers' attempts at defense, we were OUTMATCHED by our father's narcissism.
Enduring the call was agonizing, yet crucial for my siblings to witness his true nature.
Gaslit and invalidated, I
Today marks day 1 of going no contact.
TLDR: My parents threatened to kick my youngest brother(19M) out of the house if he attends my wedding. My brothers (19,22,&27) decided to host an intervention that blew up in all of our faces as we were no match for my father's narcissism. Now I've blocked my parents and the fate of my brothers attending my wedding is unknown.
NEW UPDATE
I got married on Friday, a day filled with joy, yet marked by the absence of my parents and two of my brothers. I made the decision to cut off contact with my parents last month, a choice that has since been affirmed, as you'll soon understand...
Despite the absence of my two younger brothers, my older brother stood by me, walking me down the aisle. This unexpected turn of events brought us closer than ever, a silver lining among all the drama and heartbreak.
My wedding day was pure magic—absolutely no drama or stress. It was truly the best day of my life and I have never felt so much love for my husband!!! My husband literally makes all my anxiety disappear! Of course, there were fleeting moments of vulnerability, tears shed in private to my husband as emotions overwhelmed me. Yet, despite the ache of my brothers' absence and lapses of guilt over my parents, the week was nothing short of perfection. I am truly blessed!!!
The day after the ceremony, over breakfast with my husband and older brother, I learned that my parents had been incessantly trying to reach out to my brother. My bro and husband shielded this information from me to not upset me during the week. However, my curiosity got the better of me, and I insisted on asking my brother to see what my parents said to him.
What I read shook me to the core.
My brother texted, “She will never forgive you for this and our entire family will never be the same.”
Her response: “Forgive us? She betrayed the family! She has gone completely insane. This sinister family has completely changed her values and they have been grooming her for 3 years. She is making a huge mistake by marrying. Glad you guys are so close again.” (*sinister family being my in laws)
My mother's venomous words confirmed what I had been grappling with: their belief in their distorted reality. The guilt I had been carrying evaporated in an instant. I realized that my overwhelming happiness with my husband would never be enough for them. I refuse to be held hostage by their misery any longer. You cannot change someone who just wants to be fucking miserable for the rest of their lives.
Here’s where things become laughable…I blocked The Scott’s wife on Instagram so she wouldn’t see my wedding photos. Mr. Scott in response sent a giant text accusing me of being abusive to his wife and children, despite not having seen or spoken to them in over a year. He then said that he will no longer support me and if I get a divorce, he won’t be there for me. I promptly blocked him, refusing to entertain such a stupid message. (PS I thought he was blocked already)
I am excited to start this new chapter in my life and I am thankful for the support and courage this Reddit community has given me. Here's to a future free from the toxic grip of my past!!!
RELEVANT COMMENTS
bwq6666
Is there some cultural element to this that we're unaware of? Because this situation you're describing with this 3rd family is weird.OOP
THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOPI’m American, my parents are Russian immigrants, and the wife of the Scott’s is also Russian.
DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7
2024.05.07 05:57 throwaway22020220 My boyfriend (30M) is not happy or comfortable around my (27F) family and it's affecting me and our 2 year-long relationship. What can I do?
So, we've been in our relationship for two years. We've had plenty of time to meet and learn from both of our families. And so... here's some context before I explain further:
He comes from an extremely loving family. Like, I've never ever met people as loving, warm, and welcoming like his parents and sister. At the beginning it was a bit overwhelming for me (more on my background later), but I learned to accept them and give in to this huge amount of love: his parents calling each other "honey" or "my love", receiving hugs and kisses from both of them, his mother saying I'm like a daughter to her, his dad calling me "princess" like he does his daughter, his sister being a big and happy sun full of warmth towards me, their happy and positive personalities, cooking dinners every Friday at their home, singing songs with their instruments or seeing them do little dances or funny sounds around the house, recording cute birthday videos for their daughter's family abroad, many hugs and kisses when greeting us or saying goodbye, inside jokes, interesting and engaging conversations in the table that involve everyone around it.
That's the family my boyfriend was raised by and grew up with. Now here's mine:
My family is the total opposite. I did not grow up with as much physical affection as my boyfriend. Ever since I was a kid, my parents had lots of discussions and a few years back I learned of their marriage problems. My mom has been asking for divorce for years but my dad refuses. They just live together but sleep in separate beds and just tolerate each other, faking a real marriage. I have never heard them call each other cute names or saw them laugh together with happiness, my mom is a very distant and reserved person, an introvert like me. My dad did give us hugs and kisses sometimes, he is much more loving than my mom. Living around the house with their problems was hard. We ate separately/at different times in the kitchen, don't excitedly greet each other, don't talk about interesting topics unless its my sisters and mom talking about fashion or what some idiot influencer did in our city (which I don't care about so I'm even less there), my dad never chimes in as he always gets mean replies from all three of them whenever he opens his mouth, our plans are eating out at restaurants or the theatre, expensive places my parents can afford for all of us. As for my sisters, I have had a very rocky relationship with them. They are 8 and 4 years older than me, always saw me as the annoying little sister, never invited me to their "grown-up" plans, always excluded me from everything. They have a much better relationship between them. And that's a whole other, very long story, but to keep it short: I believe they can't fully stand me. And thanks to my boyfriend, he made me realize that I had been emotionally abused by them since... so many years back. Their interactions with me while he was in their presence raised an alarm and he asked if I knew how bad they were treating me. They insulted me, laughed at me, bullied me so many times but it all went over my head for years until he told me. And so I've been much more distant from them, just having a polite relationship and not the sisterhood I wish we had (and believe me, I've tried to save it... I've exhausted my options and am tired of talking about this in therapy. It's been hard to accept).
//end of context//
And so, you can imagine the big shock we each had with each of our families. The bad relationship I have with my sisters is affecting him since they are not interested in establishing a friendship with him. He's been nothing but very nice towards them and still they ignore him 99% of the time. They are not interested in talking to him, whenever he asks something to them to start a conversation, they either answer curtly with no further details or give him a deadpan answer with absolutely no emotion or interest in keeping it going. He's also very shy and they have been intimidating for him (oh and I agree as they have very strong personalities, much more than my mellow, peaceful, and quiet one).
My parents love him very much, they are even much more pleased with him than with my eldest sister's husband (he's also not too keen in talking with my boyfriend, in general he's even disrespectful towards my parents). And that's saying a lot coming from two parents who emigrated from Europe and have a very conservative and religious mindset. They have never been interested in knowing much about my sister's previous boyfriends, they never met their families and even declined invitations for gatherings (my parents met my sister's husband's family on their wedding day). I have broken the mold here and have had my parents meet my boyfriend's parents and have dinner at their house as well as have them over at their place for dinner, share each other's phone numbers, even have his parents meet my ill grandmother at her place. My boyfriend's parents even gave her their late grandmother's medical bed to ease her nightly pains from cancer. My parents always tell me how nice and loving my boyfriend and his family are, so at least I'm happy with their approval which he is very aware of. They may not be as engaging in a conversation like his parents are, but at least they do talk to him and are interested in getting to know him more.
Even though it looks good with my parents, my boyfriend recently told me he is not interested in spending time with my family anymore. That he is always uncomfortable around them, can't relax or be himself like I do around his (remember, it's been 2 years). He said that he would decline their dinner invitations and not be present since they haven't been present for him. That he has tried very hard to interact with them and be respectful and nice, but the lack of reciprocity has affected him and he is done trying.
So here I am with these hurtful news. It hurts to know he is having a bad time with my family. It hurts that I can't do anything about it because that's just how my family is, has always been. I told him that many times, that he's dealing with a different culture which I grew up with, not the extroverted, merrymaking, and outgoing one in our Latin American country that is part of his family's whole background. That this would be a very big problem for us now and in the future. That we would have many problems because of this. That I'm sorry, I have wished many, many times my family was different, but I learned to swallow the hard pill and accept them, and that he should. He said he's just taken it as is, that it's not a problem if I don't make it one. But it frustrates me that it has to be this way, knowing it has affected him negatively when my parent's house should be a place that he's comfortable in.
He says he loves them as they are, but can't stand to be around the environment they create. And this hurts me... I already talked to my sisters about this, asked why weren't they more involved with him. Their replies "Cause I'm not, I have nothing to talk about with him" and, "What, you want me to invite him over for dinner and have a good time. I've asked him the questions I needed to know and just talk to him whenever I want to"... My parents said that we can't be like his parents, they are who they are and we are who we are (I know that).
Last week my eldest sister was planning a beach getaway for all of us on the weekend for my dad's birthday later this month, everything would be payed for by them. I asked my boyfriend and he declined saying he wasn't excited to spend a whole weekend with my family ignoring him. Even though this is about my dad which he likes a lot. And, I just came back from my parent's house, everyone was there except my brother in-law. My boyfriend came by a bit before he went to a soccer practice next door and he was alone in the kitchen texting while everyone else was in the living room talking and eating some cured ham with toast which I had to bring to him where he was sitting (my sisters and mom talking about the Met Gala, my dad playing with my little nephew). I told him to join us since at least my parents were there and I hoped it would ease the tension he felt. But he said "I gotta go now" so I said I would open the door for him but he said "I leave in 5 minutes". This disappointed me cause clearly he just didn't want to make the effort to be with us, even so after knowing his reasons. My family didn't notice or didn't call to him to join them. They didn't even notice he left without saying goodbye (he's still shy around them and I know he didn't want to interrupt...). Again, that's how they are, it's not intentional! His parents would never let me be alone in their kitchen while they are together in their living room and my bf knows this.
So... I don't know if to get mad at him again after tonight or for the whole situation, I don't know if to put terms or something. I don't know if to take both parties by surprise and maybe address this openly when we get together with my parents for dinner... Or keep it as is and not do anything and have this very uncomfortable and sad situation for the rest of our lives, trying not to make it a problem like he said since I've done everything I can but feel I should still push this... I'm torn apart between defending my family and my boyfriend :(
Thank you for reading this very long post, thank you in advance for your input and help!!!
TL;DR: my parents really like and enjoy being with my boyfriend but they have marriage problems and aren't as loving and warm as his extremely loving parents, my sisters ignore him thanks to my very bad relationship with them, he can't stand to be around them anymore after multiple attempts of interacting with them but having no reciprocity and is done trying. He comes from a very loving and warm family who treat me like their own daughter, are very affectionate and cute (the complete opposite of what my family is and it's been a shock for both of us to deal with). This is affecting our relationship as it hurts and saddens me cause I can't do anything about it and I've tried, my family is as they are and that's it, he's had a hard time accepting that even though he "loves them as they are"
submitted by throwaway22020220 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
He comes from an extremely loving family. Like, I've never ever met people as loving, warm, and welcoming like his parents and sister. At the beginning it was a bit overwhelming for me (more on my background later), but I learned to accept them and give in to this huge amount of love: his parents calling each other "honey" or "my love", receiving hugs and kisses from both of them, his mother saying I'm like a daughter to her, his dad calling me "princess" like he does his daughter, his sister being a big and happy sun full of warmth towards me, their happy and positive personalities, cooking dinners every Friday at their home, singing songs with their instruments or seeing them do little dances or funny sounds around the house, recording cute birthday videos for their daughter's family abroad, many hugs and kisses when greeting us or saying goodbye, inside jokes, interesting and engaging conversations in the table that involve everyone around it.
That's the family my boyfriend was raised by and grew up with. Now here's mine:
My family is the total opposite. I did not grow up with as much physical affection as my boyfriend. Ever since I was a kid, my parents had lots of discussions and a few years back I learned of their marriage problems. My mom has been asking for divorce for years but my dad refuses. They just live together but sleep in separate beds and just tolerate each other, faking a real marriage. I have never heard them call each other cute names or saw them laugh together with happiness, my mom is a very distant and reserved person, an introvert like me. My dad did give us hugs and kisses sometimes, he is much more loving than my mom. Living around the house with their problems was hard. We ate separately/at different times in the kitchen, don't excitedly greet each other, don't talk about interesting topics unless its my sisters and mom talking about fashion or what some idiot influencer did in our city (which I don't care about so I'm even less there), my dad never chimes in as he always gets mean replies from all three of them whenever he opens his mouth, our plans are eating out at restaurants or the theatre, expensive places my parents can afford for all of us. As for my sisters, I have had a very rocky relationship with them. They are 8 and 4 years older than me, always saw me as the annoying little sister, never invited me to their "grown-up" plans, always excluded me from everything. They have a much better relationship between them. And that's a whole other, very long story, but to keep it short: I believe they can't fully stand me. And thanks to my boyfriend, he made me realize that I had been emotionally abused by them since... so many years back. Their interactions with me while he was in their presence raised an alarm and he asked if I knew how bad they were treating me. They insulted me, laughed at me, bullied me so many times but it all went over my head for years until he told me. And so I've been much more distant from them, just having a polite relationship and not the sisterhood I wish we had (and believe me, I've tried to save it... I've exhausted my options and am tired of talking about this in therapy. It's been hard to accept).
//end of context//
And so, you can imagine the big shock we each had with each of our families. The bad relationship I have with my sisters is affecting him since they are not interested in establishing a friendship with him. He's been nothing but very nice towards them and still they ignore him 99% of the time. They are not interested in talking to him, whenever he asks something to them to start a conversation, they either answer curtly with no further details or give him a deadpan answer with absolutely no emotion or interest in keeping it going. He's also very shy and they have been intimidating for him (oh and I agree as they have very strong personalities, much more than my mellow, peaceful, and quiet one).
My parents love him very much, they are even much more pleased with him than with my eldest sister's husband (he's also not too keen in talking with my boyfriend, in general he's even disrespectful towards my parents). And that's saying a lot coming from two parents who emigrated from Europe and have a very conservative and religious mindset. They have never been interested in knowing much about my sister's previous boyfriends, they never met their families and even declined invitations for gatherings (my parents met my sister's husband's family on their wedding day). I have broken the mold here and have had my parents meet my boyfriend's parents and have dinner at their house as well as have them over at their place for dinner, share each other's phone numbers, even have his parents meet my ill grandmother at her place. My boyfriend's parents even gave her their late grandmother's medical bed to ease her nightly pains from cancer. My parents always tell me how nice and loving my boyfriend and his family are, so at least I'm happy with their approval which he is very aware of. They may not be as engaging in a conversation like his parents are, but at least they do talk to him and are interested in getting to know him more.
Even though it looks good with my parents, my boyfriend recently told me he is not interested in spending time with my family anymore. That he is always uncomfortable around them, can't relax or be himself like I do around his (remember, it's been 2 years). He said that he would decline their dinner invitations and not be present since they haven't been present for him. That he has tried very hard to interact with them and be respectful and nice, but the lack of reciprocity has affected him and he is done trying.
So here I am with these hurtful news. It hurts to know he is having a bad time with my family. It hurts that I can't do anything about it because that's just how my family is, has always been. I told him that many times, that he's dealing with a different culture which I grew up with, not the extroverted, merrymaking, and outgoing one in our Latin American country that is part of his family's whole background. That this would be a very big problem for us now and in the future. That we would have many problems because of this. That I'm sorry, I have wished many, many times my family was different, but I learned to swallow the hard pill and accept them, and that he should. He said he's just taken it as is, that it's not a problem if I don't make it one. But it frustrates me that it has to be this way, knowing it has affected him negatively when my parent's house should be a place that he's comfortable in.
He says he loves them as they are, but can't stand to be around the environment they create. And this hurts me... I already talked to my sisters about this, asked why weren't they more involved with him. Their replies "Cause I'm not, I have nothing to talk about with him" and, "What, you want me to invite him over for dinner and have a good time. I've asked him the questions I needed to know and just talk to him whenever I want to"... My parents said that we can't be like his parents, they are who they are and we are who we are (I know that).
Last week my eldest sister was planning a beach getaway for all of us on the weekend for my dad's birthday later this month, everything would be payed for by them. I asked my boyfriend and he declined saying he wasn't excited to spend a whole weekend with my family ignoring him. Even though this is about my dad which he likes a lot. And, I just came back from my parent's house, everyone was there except my brother in-law. My boyfriend came by a bit before he went to a soccer practice next door and he was alone in the kitchen texting while everyone else was in the living room talking and eating some cured ham with toast which I had to bring to him where he was sitting (my sisters and mom talking about the Met Gala, my dad playing with my little nephew). I told him to join us since at least my parents were there and I hoped it would ease the tension he felt. But he said "I gotta go now" so I said I would open the door for him but he said "I leave in 5 minutes". This disappointed me cause clearly he just didn't want to make the effort to be with us, even so after knowing his reasons. My family didn't notice or didn't call to him to join them. They didn't even notice he left without saying goodbye (he's still shy around them and I know he didn't want to interrupt...). Again, that's how they are, it's not intentional! His parents would never let me be alone in their kitchen while they are together in their living room and my bf knows this.
So... I don't know if to get mad at him again after tonight or for the whole situation, I don't know if to put terms or something. I don't know if to take both parties by surprise and maybe address this openly when we get together with my parents for dinner... Or keep it as is and not do anything and have this very uncomfortable and sad situation for the rest of our lives, trying not to make it a problem like he said since I've done everything I can but feel I should still push this... I'm torn apart between defending my family and my boyfriend :(
Thank you for reading this very long post, thank you in advance for your input and help!!!
TL;DR: my parents really like and enjoy being with my boyfriend but they have marriage problems and aren't as loving and warm as his extremely loving parents, my sisters ignore him thanks to my very bad relationship with them, he can't stand to be around them anymore after multiple attempts of interacting with them but having no reciprocity and is done trying. He comes from a very loving and warm family who treat me like their own daughter, are very affectionate and cute (the complete opposite of what my family is and it's been a shock for both of us to deal with). This is affecting our relationship as it hurts and saddens me cause I can't do anything about it and I've tried, my family is as they are and that's it, he's had a hard time accepting that even though he "loves them as they are"
2024.04.27 07:35 Danielhenriemond KILL THE WHALE - CONCEPT ALBUM ALL LYRICS!
WE'RE IN NOVEMBER NOW
THE CISTERN OF MY SOUL HAS FROZEN OVER
NOW ONE COULD SKATE ACROSS
I COULD TAKE MY LIFE
WITH THE PISTOL AND THE BALL
YOU COULD CALL YOUR DOCTOR,
MINE CAN'T BE FOUND ASHORE
AS WE SET SAIL FOR I DON'T KNOW WHERE
AHAB TAKE THE WHEEL IF YOU DARE
WITH THE GREAT WHITE WHALE I DON'T COMPARE
ALL THE SAME I WILL BE THERE
IN BED WITH A CANNIBAL'S KOKOVOKO CURSE
FROM SWEET DREAMS OF JONAH I AWAKE
CRYING TEARS OF THIRST
IF YOU SHOULD EVER LEAVE I'LL SHAKE YOU FROM YOUR SLEEP
AND WARN YOU THAT OLD THUNDER IS KEEN
ON NIGHTMARE IVORY
AS WE SET SAIL FOR I DON'T KNOW WHERE
AHAB TAKE THE WHEEL IF YOU DARE
WITH THE GREAT WHITE WHALE I DON'T COMPARE
ALL THE SAME I WILL BE THERE
IN SATURN'S GREY AND NEPTUNE'S BLUE
YOUR LOVE AND YOUR LIFE ARE GONE,
NOW IMAGINE THAT WE WON
AND WHEN YOU CLAP YOUR EYES UPON
THE WHITE AND THE MIGHT OF GODS,
NOW IMAGINE THE LEGEND
(Oh's)
FATHOMS OF CREAMY FOAM STRETCH BEYOND THE STERN
THE SKULL OF SPERMACETTI AND SOUL
ARE NOT UNLIKE OUR OWN
HIS BODY DRIPPING LIFE INTO THE MOUTHS OF SHARKS
WHO SWIM ALL AROUND US
INCHES FROM OUR SLEEPING HEARTS
AS WE SET SAIL FOR I DON'T KNOW WHERE
AHAB TAKE THE WHEEL IF YOU DARE
WITH THE GREAT WHITE WHALE I DON'T COMPARE
ALL THE SAME I WILL BE THERE
AS WE SET SAIL FOR I DON'T KNOW WHERE
AHAB TAKE THE STEEL IF YOU DARE
WITH THE GREAT WHITE WHALE I DON'T COMPARE
ALL THE SAME I WILL BE THERE EY
YOJO LOVE YOU
YOU CAN CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN YOU SLEEP
YOJO KEEP WATCH
NO MONSTERS UNDER YOUR BED
DON'T KNOW WHERE EVER THEY STEAL AND THEY LURK
WELL IT'S ANYONE'S GUESS
SHOULD YOU MEET ANOTHER
UNDERCOVER FOR THE DEVIL
THEY'LL BE UNDER THE COVERS
YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS
IT MEANS YOU KILL THEM (LA DA DA DAH)
IT MEANS YOU KILL THEM (LA DA DA DAH WOO-OOH)
YOU KILL THEM (LA DA DA DAH)
YOU KILL THEM
I KILL YOU!!! (LA DA DA DAH)
I KILL YOU!!! (LA DA DA DAH WOO-OOH)
I KILL YOU!!! (LA DA DA DAH)
I LOVE YOU!!!
WHAT ARE YOU, AND WHAT SHALL BE YOUR NAME?
WHAT DID YOU SAY, YOU CALL ME Q.
WHAT IS Q, AND WHERE DOES Q COME FROM?
WHAT DID YOU SAY? MY ISLAND IS OKOVOKO, BABE.
AH,ROKOVOKO
NAH NAH NAH NAH
KOKOVOKO
NAH NAH NAH NAH
HYUCK-A-JOKE-O
NAH NAH NAH NAH
THEN SHOW ME on a map?
YOU RAVAGE THE AVERAGE MAN WHO IS BLACK WITH THE BRAND OF A SAVAGE
A LIFE THAT WON'T MATTER HE'S SHATTERED, ABANDONS HIS LOT TO THE SHAM OF THE MANTLE YOU HANDED HIM RANCOROUS HARLEQUIN HAVING THE BADDEST BEHAVIOR IMAGINED
BUT WE ARE YOUR BRETHEREN SCRAM, CRACK THE BOOKS ON THE FANTI, THE TYPEE, THE OMOO, ASHANTI
THE TRAGEDY REALLY THE COMEDY, YOU GIVE US ALMS WHILE YOU SUCKIN ON CHERRIES SEE NO NEED FOR CHARITY TILL YOU SEE US AS EQUAL NO GREATER WE ALWAYS WILL BE EMPTY-HANDED
SOME WOULD SAY THAT WE NEED OUR OWN PLANET
MAN FUCK IT CUZ THIS ONE IS LAVISH
BE MAGNANIMOUS BANISH ANIMUS BE AMOROUS
HAVE SOME COMPASSION YOU BANDITS
BUT YOJO LOVE,
WHAT DID IT SAY?
YOJO LOVE ALL, ALL.
UNCONDITIONAL, UNCONDITIONAL
BUT YOJO LOVE, YOJO LOVE ALL, ALL, ALL!
WHAT DO YOU SAY, WHAT DO YOU SAY, WHAT DO YOU SAY!
AH (X2)
WHAT'S GOING ON?
BABY THIS IS MY RAMADAN
RELIGIOUS MEDITATIVE STATE,
I DON'T SEEK YOUR PRAISE,
I WON'T SUIT YOUR FRAME OF REFERENCE, YA DIG
YOU DO DIG HUMAN FLESH THOUGH
FOOL, YOU BELIEVE WHAT SOME INNKEEPER TELLS YOU!
BUT ARE YOU?
THE WORLD IS CANNIBAL. WE HERE TO EAT OUR FILL, BLACKFOOT BUFALLO. BEST TO BE THANKFUL FOR THE MEAL, AND ANYWAY BETTER TO TASTE THAN WASTE WOULDN'T YOU SAY?
HOW DO WE TASTE?
I TOLD YOU, DON'T ASSUME I KNOW.
SO?
BITE OFF THE TIP OF YOUR FINGER LOVE.
WELL GO ON. TRY IT, SNAPS LIKE A PARSNIP, TRY IT!
I WON'T BUT I LOVE YOU SO.
WOW.
HOW CAN I PROVE IT?
YOU'LL HAVE TO JOIN THE GREATEST
BAND EVER KNOWN, PEEK-WOW, FESTOONED IN WHALEBONE, LIKE Q.
DONE.
I WANNA BE WHAT YOU WANT ME TO BE
I WANT TO GIVE IT MY ALL
JAM SALT UP MY LUNGS
COLD SAND IN MY HEART, OH
FEELING HUNG AND WOKE, YOU HAVE BEEN LIVING A LIE
DRY LAND AIN'T THE PLACE TO WASTE YOUR TIME
DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO
BUT I AM NOT YOUR PORPOISE, DON'T YOU FEED ME YOUR LINES
IF YOU'RE WORTH YOUR WEIGHT IN SALT, YOU'LL FLOAT JUST FINE
DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO
WE NEED THIS RUSH TO FEEL ALIVE
IT'S ALL WE CAN DO
ALL WE CAN DO OOH HO, HO
DO YOU FEEL IT TOO
IT'S ALL YOU CAN DO IS
PULL, FIGHT, BLEED TOGETHER
I'M ALL IN FAVOR SO MUCH CHILD
YOU AND I ARE ONE AS ONE IS ALL AND SO ON
A WHALING CREW'S A WELL-OILED MACHINE
DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO
AND IF ANYONE AT ALL WOULD TRY TO WIDE THE DIVIDE
THE MATES WILL STOP YOUR HEART LIKE ONE TWO THREE!
ONE! TWO! THREE!
ONE, TWO, THREE!
WE TUNE TOGETHER TO SURVIVE
IT'S ALL WE CAN DO
ALL WE CAN DO OOH HO, HO
DO YOU FEEL IT TOO
IT'S ALL YOU CAN DO
WE PULL, FIGHT, BLEED, TOGETHER
WHAT WE KNOW HOW TO DO
ALONE ON THE BLUE
ALL WE CAN DO-OOH HO, HO,
THAT'S ALL YOU GOT TO DO
ALL YOU CAN DO
IS PULL, FIGHT, BLEED FOREVER
THE PRESENT DANGER WAS PRICED IN, CHILD
I'M ALL IN FAVOR SO MUCH CHILD
CAN'T BE DONE WITHOUT YOU, MY SQUIRE
YOU WANNA BE WHAT WE WANT YOU TO BE
YOU WANT TO GIVE IT YOUR ALL
THAT ALL DEPENDS
ARE YOU FEARLESS MY FRIEND, YEAH?
NO.
GOOD ANSWER, ROW!
CREW, WHAT DO YOU DO
WHEN YOU SEE A WHALE
SING!
SING OUT HIS NAME, LOWER AWAY, THEN
PULL TILL ONE OF YOU ARE DEAD
DEAD!
ONE IS BLEACHED BONE WHITE, A STAIN
DOES HE FAN HIS TAIL
DOES HE SPOUT WHITE HAIL
DOES HIS IRON BRAID AND COIL, ALL
TWISKE-BE-TWISK
THE SAME.
CORKSCREW, Q, THAT'S WHAT THE IRON DO,
DEATH AND DEVILS, HE IS MOBY DICK,
TASH, ONLY YOU AND I HAVE SEEN
SILENCE STARBUCK, WHY THE LONG FACE
I KNOW WHAT YOU WOULD SAY-
YES THE MONSTER TOOK MY LEG
MADE ME A POOR PEG
FOREVER AND A DAY
I'M GONNA RUN THE WHALE, OKAY
AROUND PERDITION'S FLAMES,
OH BEFORE I GIVE UP THE CHASE
AYE!
AND UNTIL HE ROLLS BELLY UP
AND SPOUTS BLACK BLOOD,
I WON'T GIVE UP!
AY?
OH, AY!
AND IF YOU COME WITH ME
AND SHUT HIS CROOKED JAW
IF YOU COME WITH ME
AVENGE THE LEG I LOST,
THEN ALL IS ONE
AYE.
PERMIT ME CAPTAIN TO EASE MY MIND
SOMETHING YOU'VE HAD TO DO
FOR SAILORS GREEN AND BLUE
A THOUSAND TIMES
BUT THIS AIN'T MY FIRST RODEO
I KNOW FLASK NEEDS A SALARY,
STUBB GOT TO STOCK HER WEED
AND I OWE MY LOVE A DIAMOND RING
AND LIKE STUBB'S GREEN WEED
THE WHALE'S CROOKED JAW MUST BE INSPECTED
FUN
BUT HOW MUCH GOLD OR DEVIL'S LETTUCE WILL YOUR VENGEANCE FETCH US
OOH, NONE!
SO IN TRUTH, WHY WOULD YOU RISK YOUR DARLING CREW WHEN THE BLASTED WHALE DISMASTED YOU?
OOH
STARBUCK, WOULD THAT YOU WERE SO BOLD WITH YOUR SPEAR AS WITH YOUR TONGUE.
THE CHANCE TO GO GOLD, TO THE ONE WHO DELIVERS ME THE SLAUGHTERED WHALE, AND IN THE TAIL, THREE HOLES PUNCHED
BLASPHEMY, CAPTAIN TO SEEK VENGEANCE UPON A FORCE OF NATURE-
A DUMB BRUTE, NO BRAIN, ALL BRAWN, THAT STRUCK YOUR COLD LEG GONE IN BLIND INSTINCT.
BLIND? COME ON.
WE LIVE UNDER A GOD, ADDICTED TO MASKS,
A COSTUME QUEEN, IN YEAR-ROUND HALLOWEEN.
MY BASTARD'S MASK IS MOBY DICK
SO WHEN THE BAD MASK ATTACKS,
HOW DOES A MAN STRIKE BACK?
DISPATCH THE MASK.
FLASK RELAX, BACK OFF THE MAST.
THEN CAN YOU SEE GOD'S FACE.
MATE, MY WILL JUST BECAME
YOUR FATE.
UNTIL YOU FLAY THE WHALE ALIVE
YOU WON'T SEE A DIME,
YOU'LL SOONER SEE YOUR QUEST IN MINE
AYE!
AND IF YOU WANT TO PROFITEER,
CONQUER YOUR FEAR,
OR SIMPLY SEE YOUR NAME IN LIGHTS
AYE!
GLOWING ON THE WHALE MARQUEE,
LIKE PEG LEGGY LEE
HEY! SOFTLY RAISE YOUR DEATH NOTES HIGH
AYE!
HARPOONS TO MY LEFT
LANCES TO MY RIGHT
LET US SING TO DEATH TONIGHT!
YAY, AYE! YAY, AYE! YAY, AYE!
AND IF YOU COME WITH ME
AND SHUT HIS CROOKED JAW
IF YOU COME WITH ME
AVENGE THE LEG I LOST
IF IT SHOULD CROSS ME
YOU KNOW I'D STRIKE THE SUN
SO DON'T YOU CROSS ME
WE MAY BE LOST
BUT ALL WILL BE ONE!
AYE!!!
BRING THE OCEAN TO THEIR KNEES
BEGGING PLEASE
THE CAPTAIN
SILENT IN HER WAKE
HAS SHE BEEN
SINGIN IN HER SLEEP
WHO IN THE FOLK SOUL KNOWS THE TUNE?
LADY LOVE
I KNOW BUT SHE KEEPS IT DOWN BELOW
IN THE HOLD
I'LL HOLD YOU BABY, LATHER ME IN AMBERGRIS
CAPTAIN YOU LOOK MEAN AND PLAIN
DOWN IN THE MOUTH
BUT YOU CAN KEEP ME AROUND
OH YEAH
(RAP)
Y'ALL
I'M A MARITIME MERITOCRAT
YOU CAN BITE ME BOO, JUST DON'T Y'ALL BITE MY SHIT
YAH, SHE'S A MONOMANIC, AND WHILE SHE AT IT
GONNA GET THAT LIQUID CUZ WE ROYALTY, DAMMIT
SO GRAB YO CAT O' NINES
WAWA YOU KNOW YOU FINE
THEM WAVES GO BUMP DE BUMP
THIS IS THE HIGH LIFE
Y'ALL SOAKING IN THE SQUALLS
BLOWN FROM THE GODS' REUNION BRAWLS
RAISE ME A WHALE, WE GOT SOME STEAM TO BLOW OFF
WE WILL BE RELEASED FROM ALL
I WANT IT BAD
YA WANT TO DANCE?
DANCE, AND CAST YOUR TROUBLES OFF
PIP, PLAY YOUR TAMBOURINE
WAG LIKE MY TAMBOURINE
PIP, PLAY YOUR TAMBOURINE
AH! PIP, PLAY YOUR TAMBOURINE
WAG LIKE MY TAMBOURINE
PIP, PLAY YOUR TAMBOURINE
AH!
WE WILL BE RELEASED FROM ALL I WANT IT BAD
YA WANT TO DANCE?
DANCE, AND CAST YOUR TROUBLES OFF
PIP, PLAY YOUR TAMBOURINE, YEAH!
LADY, PARDON ME
I'M CAUGHT IN REVERIE
FROM THE MAST I SEE
WHALES, WONT YOU LEND YOUR UNCTUOUS EARS
AS PIP REVEALS HER DREAMS AND FEARS
I'LL FLY IN A PLANE
NOT EVEN SURE WHAT THAT MEANS
NEVER TO BE SEEN AGAIN
LOWER AWAY, LOWER AWAY
TWO MILES OFF
LOWER AWAY, LOWER AWAY
WHAT HAVE WE GOT
LOWER AWAY, LOWER AWAY
WHERE IS IT NOW
LOWER AWAY
I WILL...
ANSWER YOU WILL CALL
WHERE THE SEA MONSTERS CALL HOME
TALK TO ME, TALK TO YOU
THAT LANGUAGE DON'T BELONG IN SONG
WE ARE ROOK, KNIGHT, KING AND QUEEN
IN THIS BLUE BOUNDLESS BOWLING GREEN
IT'S ALL FOR YOU, ALL FOR ME
OH WE HAVE EVERYTHING WE NEED
DON'T WE DEAR, DON'T WE DEAR!
LOWER AWAY, LOWER AWAY
THE WHALE IS RIGHT
LOWER AWAY, HOW DO YOU KNOW?
HER TEETH AND EYES
LOWER AWAY
CRACK YOUR BACKBONES, CROAK YOUR TONGUES
BURST YOUR LIVERS, CHOKE YOUR LUNGS
TAKE IT SLOW, AS YOU ROW
SOAK YOUR SMOKEY EYES IN BLOOD
HEROES KILLERS AIN'T SO CLEAR
USE A JUDICIOUS DOSE OF FEAR
SAY A PRAYER? WHAT TO WEAR?
OH JAWS OF DEATH OR EASY CHAIR?
WHAT'S IT DEAR? WHAT'S IT DEAR?
LOWER AWAY,
LOWER AWAY
SING IT!
THE SQUALL IS CLOSE
LOWER AWAY
LOWER AWAY
BRING IT!
THE BEAST IS TOAST
LOWER AWAY,
DAGGOO, GIVE YOUR SIS A LIFT,
SO SHE CAN STAB A WHALE A BIT
A BOWLING BALL ON A WALL
THAT WALL COULD TURN TOWER I WISH
WHO'S THAT SHADOW ROLLED IN WHITE
AHAB TOLD ME SHE'S OUR GUIDE
A STOWAWAY, THE CAPTAIN'S FAVORITE
I GUESS ASSUME SHE'S ON OUR SIDE?
RIGHT, RIGHT, RIGHT. RIGHT RIGHT RIGHT.
ONE MORE TIME!
LOWER AWAY,
LOWER AWAY,
LOWER AWAY,
LOWER AWAY.
LOWER AWAY, OW OW OW OW (X2)
(whistling)
AHH (X4)
IN DAYS OF OLD
I SEEN IT ALL
THEM DAYS OF OLD
REMEMBER THOSE
WON'T TAKE WHAT'S COMING
LYING DOWN
LIKE DAYS OF OLD
CALABASH!
POEE POEE IN A GOURD IS BEST
BUT IF I GOTTA BREAK IT TO YOU,
BREAK IT OVER YOUR HEAD
MY BROTHERS ARE FLED
THE REST, APPROPRIATED OR DEAD
GO SUCK YOUR TOOTH ON
A BOUILLON OF KNOWLEDGE INSTEAD
I'M ON A TALL DARK MOUNTAIN WITH MY AFRICAN FRIENDS
A MOUNTAIN OF DREAD
GUESS THE SHIT THEY MOUNTIN' UP NEXT
A CRAFTY CRACKA BE LAUGHIN'
AT US NIGGAS TAKIN A BATH
AND THEN THEY FASTENIN' A NOOSE TO
JIM CROW'S NEST
DEEP THROAT THAT
I HAVE SPOKEN
THIS LIFE AIN'T EASY TO LIVE
BUT DAMN IF IT'S EASY TO RAP
YOU TALK A SWEET GAME BOUT THE STRENGTH
OF THE AMERICAN WHALER
BUT WITH AMERICAN SAILORS
CAME YOU AMERICAN SLAVERS
AND GOD FORBID YOUR GODLINESS
WOULD USE AMERICAN LABOR
WE AIN'T FOR REFUND, BITCH,
WHO'S YOUR AMERICAN SAVIOR
LIKE AN ABE WHO COULD GRANT US WINGS
SO WE COULD FLY LIKE A JAILBIRD,
FREEDOM RING, SING
IN DAYS OF OLD
SOME HEAVY SHIT
WHITE DEVILS SAID
WE HEAVEN SENT
WE LET THEM IN
THEN HEAVEN WEPT
IN DAYS OF OLD
WE SEE, WE CLEAVE THE SEA WITH THE TELL TALE NEEDLE AND PLEASE DON'T LEAVE OUT THE NORTH STAR
THAT'S THE MOST IMPORTANT PART
OF KNOWING VAGUELY WHERE YOU ARE
SWEET HARRIET RODE HER CHARIOT
TO THE TUNE OF THE SKY CHART BY THE SAME NAME
SPEAKING OF NAMES, Q AIN'T MINE IT'S QUEEQUEG
TOO MANY Q'S AND U'S FOR FOOLS THESE DAYS
TAKE A DOUBLE-U IF YOU GOIN' GOLD, IF YOU ON THAT MONO-SYLLA-FLOW, COUNT OF MOBY-CRISCO.
FOR A BLACK WHALER
AIN'T NO SECOND CHANCES
I'M TORN TO PIECES IN A WAR BETWEEN
MY CIRCUITRY AND MY CIRCUMSTANCES
AHAB SON, AIN'T ABSALOM,
ACAB MEANS
ALL CAPTAINS ARE BASTARDS,
OH CAPTIVES, MY CAPTIVES
PUT THIS HUMPBACK HUNT PACK ON BLAST
THE VERDICT, MY VIRGINAL QUEEN
WHACKED IN THE BACK BY IMPERIAL CRACKERS ON HORSEBACK
AM I A PEOPLE EATER, IS THAT WHAT I GET
FOR SCOOPING OUT MEAT COOL COCOA NUT TREAT
OUT OF ALL OF YOUR HEADS, SAY WHAT DO YOU THINK? SING:
NAH, NAH NAH NAH NAH,
NAH NAH NAH NAH,
NAH NAH NAH NAH,
NAH NAH NAH NAH,
NAH NAH NAH NAH,
NAH NAH NAH NAH,
NAH NAH NAH NAH, WHOO
NAH, NAH NAH NAH NAH,
NAH NAH NAH NAH,
NAH NAH NAH NAH,
NAH NAH NAH NAH,
NAH NAH NAH NAH,
NAH NAH NAH NAH,
NAH NAH NAH NAH, WHOO
WHET YOUR WHALE SPADES
SHARPEN YOUR SHARK TEETH
THIS AIN'T NO WATERSPOUT
I'M IN A JET STREAM
STUBB GOT THAT FINAL BOW, BLAUW
THE BOUNTY FOR KILLING ME,
I'M EVERY MOTHERFUCKIN'
SPERM WHALE'S WET DREAM
OF ALL MY BROTHERS ISHY MISHY YOU MY WHITE ROCK
THOUGH CAPTAIN AHAB HEART BE PSYCHO KILLER GOLDI-LOCKS
SOCK MONKEY YOJO AIN'T NO JOKE
BUT COLDER STILL THE MONKEY ROPE
HAS GOT OUR MORTAL COMPANY LOCKED
IN A JOINT STOCK
SO TAKE AN OATH NOW WHILE WE TAKIN IT SLOW NOW CUZ IN THE TEETH OF THE TYPHOON YOU TEETER, TOTTER, SURE AS THUNDER'S MOMMA'S DAUGHTER
WE ALL THE SAME SHADE IN THE SHADE OF THE EQUALIZER-AND WHEN SHE BLOWS OVER
OUR BLINDNESS WON'T HIDE HER
EENIE, MENE, MINE-Y TEKEL, UPHARSIN, I'LL DEFINE HER
WE ALL BEEN NUMBERED, WEIGHED, DIVIDED,
BY THIS TIME IT'S BEEN DECIDED WHO WILL DIE HERE, I APOLOGIZE, MY MIND MEANDERS-IN SPITE OF ALL UNITED WE RAMA-DA-DA-DA-DA-DA-DA-DAN!
IN DAYS OF OLD
I SEEN IT ALL
IN DAYS OF OLD
REMEMBER THOSE
WON'T TAKE WHAT'S COMING
LYING DOWN
LIKE DAYS OF OLD
NAH, NAH NAH NAH NAH,
NAH NAH NAH NAH,
NAH NAH NAH NAH,
NAH NAH NAH NAH,
NAH NAH NAH NAH,
NAH NAH NAH NAH,
NAH NAH NAH NAH, WHOO
NAH, NAH NAH NAH NAH,
NAH NAH NAH NAH,
NAH NAH NAH NAH,
NAH NAH NAH NAH,
NAH NAH NAH NAH,
NAH NAH NAH NAH,
NAH NAH NAH NAH
AH (X10)
I WOULDN'T CALL ME AN ATTENTION SEEKER
BUT Y'ALL SEEM TO PAY ATTENTION TO ME
I AIN'T NO CLOUT DEVIL
AIN'T NO STRAIGHT HYPE FLEXER
BUT I'M A WHALE CHASER
DIG?
THE CAPTAIN HOLDS ME RANSOM
THE CAPTAIN PAYS ME HANDSOME
I CAN HARDLY REMEMBER LIFE
BEFORE THE CAPTAIN ENTERED
THE FARTHEST CRY FROM TRAGIC
AND MORE THAN WORTHY OF MENTION
WAS MINE
I'M NOT A PUBLISHED AUTHOR
BUT MY STORIES SEEM TO MATTER
THAT'S WHY SHE HOLDS ME CLOSE
THAT'S WHY SHE LOVES ME MOST
WHAT IS YOUR HERITAGE
WHERE ARE YOU FROM?
AND MY ALL TIME FAVORITE, WHAT ARE YOU?
I CAN NO LONGER SERVE THE QUESTION
CAN'T DISAPPEAR OR RUN
IF I STICK WITH THE CAPTAIN
I ONLY HAVE TO ANSWER ONCE.
OH WHAT TO DO, WHAT TO DO
AS WE ARE ALL PREDISPOSED
I CHOOSE TO LET IT HAPPEN AS GOD WOULD HAVE IT, DOG.
AH (X15)
SOMEBODY GET ME OUT
BLINK TWICE, I'LL SILENTLY SHOUT
SOMEBODY GET ME OUT (X2)
WHAT IS THIS SHARKISH DARKNESS COME OVER ME
WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE ME DO
WHAT WILL YOU HAVE ME DO
I'LL GIVE YOU ANYTHING
IF TO YOU JOY IT BRINGS
I HANG UPON YOUR WORDS, OH WATCHA GONNA SAY NOW, WOAH
AND IF OF WORDS, ALL YOUR LAST,
ARE BUT THE SAME THINGS YOU SAID IN THE PAST
I WILL CONSIDER ALL THE FAILURE OF YOUR FIRST MATE, WOAH
CAN MY GOD AND YOUR GOD BE SAID TO BE THE SAME
MY GOD CALLS YOU TO STOP
YOUR GOD BECKONS YOU ON
MAYBE HE LIED, POOR THING
OR YOU AIN'T LISTENING
BUT YOU HAVE DRILLED THROUGH ME,
AND BLASTED ALL MY DARK THOUGHTS UNLEASHED
THIS HORROR ORGY IN ME
IT TORTURES ME, OH
STOP THIS RIDE, NOW I WANT TO GET OFF
I WANT YOU GONE OLD THUNDER, SINCERELY YOUR FIRST MATE, WOAH
RIGHT NOW
NOW, WHERE ARE WE NOW
RIGHT NOW
TAKE THE TIME YOU NEED MY CAPTAIN
TO LET IT GO
I DIDN'T MEAN THOSE WORDS, I LOVE YOU SO
I ONLY FEAR FOR MY LIFE
BUT I'LL BE BRAVE
I'LL BE A BETTER WOMAN, I'LL BEHAVE
STARTING NOW
WHERE ARE WE NOW
RIGHT NOW
TAKE THE TIME YOU NEED MY THUNDER
LET IT OUT
ANYTHING YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT
I ONLY FEAR FOR MY LIFE
BUT I'LL BE BRAVE
I'LL BE A BETTER WOMAN, I'LL BEHAVE
STARTING NOW
WHERE ARE WE NOW
RIGHT NOW
TAKE THE TIME YOU NEED MY LOVER
AND SING YOUR PIECE
YOU RECOGNIZE THESE LOVE NOTES DON'T YOU DEAR
YOU HAVE BEEN KNOWN TO SING THEM
IN YOUR SLEEP
I PROMISE I'LL PROTECT YOU,
THAT'S ONE I'LL KEEP
WHAT IS THIS SHARKISH DARKNESS COME OVER ME
I'VE LOST ALL CONNECTION TO THE CREW
Y'ALL WANT TO KNOW?
I WANT IT
BETTER THAN OUR MOTHERS EVER EVER HAD BEFORE
MY MA MA MA MINE, YOU'RE ON MY TURF
MY DECK
MY SHIP
MY MA MA MA MINE, ALL MINE
ALL MINE
ALL MINE
MINE
MINE, AH
MINE
MINE
DON'T LOSE YOUR SENSE OF PURPOSE, NOW
I CALCULATE, I'LL BLAST YOUR SORDID SOULS FROM EVANESCENCE STRAIGHT INTO HELL
MY MA MA MA MINE, YOU'RE ON MY TURF
MY DECK
MY DREAMS
MY MA MA MA MINE, MY RULES
MY LAWS
MY WORD
MY MA MA MA MINE,
IF YOU DONT
IN HIS SOUL,
I'LL FLOAT
WITH YOUR BLOOD IN MY MOUTH, I WILL
AND HE WILL
BECOME
MINE
MINE, AH
MINE
MINE
YOU'RE LIKE MY BIRD DOG
GET OVER IT
OH OH
YEAH YEAH
MAN'S GREAT TOOL IS MAN HIMSELF
TO BE PREYED UPON
OH OH
YEAH YEAH
LEAVE ME ALONE, I WANNA BE ALONE
I'LL BE YOUR FOUL WEATHER FRIEND
INHALE IT, INHALE IT
LEAVE ME ALONE, I WANNA BE ALONE
OH OH
YEAH YEAH
ALL WE NEED
NOTHING BUT OUR WEAPONS AND WANTS
ALL WE ARE
NOTHING BUT OUR MUSCLES AND THOUGHTS
ALL WE DO
WE DRINK AIR AND WE BREATHE SEA
ALL WE WANT
IS FOR FATE TO DELIVER YOU ME
ROCK ME, ROCK ME GALE
TWIST THIS HEAD AND TAIL
INTO TREASURED GOLD
WORTH THE WAIT I'M TOLD
I DON'T KNOW BABE
WEALTH TO FILL THE SUN
AIN'T NO SHOW, BABE
ALL I WANNA DO IS HUNT YOU
WHERE YOU BEEN
I BEEN SLAUGHTERING ALL OF YOUR KIN
WE CLATTERING ON FOR THE RICHES INVOLVED
THOUGH I'D NEVER DISCOUNT MY CREW
I COULDN'T CARE LESS MY DEAR
I WANT YOU SO BAD
MY BROW IS BLACK SAND
JUST LOOK AT THE VEINS IN MY HEAD
WELL ROCK ME, ROCK ME, ROCK ME, ROCK ME,
ROCK ME, ROCK ME, ROCK ME, ROCK ME, ROCK ME, ROCK ME GALE
TELL THE NEEDLE'S TALE
BRING ME TREASURES, GOLD
WORTH THE WAIT I'M TOLD
I DON'T KNOW BABE
WEALTH TO FILL THE SUN
AIN'T NO SHOW, BABE
ALL I WANNA DO IS HUNT YOU
I'VE GOT THE HANG OF THIS, HANG ME LOOSE
WE CATCH A PRETTY PRETTY IN THE AFTERNOON
WOAH, WOAH, WOAH, WOAH
ALL MEN ARE WISE, AND BEASTS ARE CRUDE
BUT YOU EVER YELLED FIRE IN A CROWDED ROOM, TRY IT NOW
NAH, MEN ARE SHEEP. SHOVED TO THE EDGE
(DA DA DA DA DA)
I'D TRAMPLE YOU, YOU'D DASH ME TO DEATH
(DA DA DA DA DA)
WE NEVER FIT, WE OUTTA PLACE
(DA DA DA DA DA)
WE NEVER FIT, WE CHANGE OUR SHAPE
(DA DA DA DA DA)
SEE THE PIRATES COME,
THEY SEEM TO SQUAWK IN EVERY TONGUE ALL AT ONCE,
AH, AH, AH
WHY DON'T WE ALL GO HOME,
WHY DON'T WE ALL GO HOME,
WHY DON'T WE ALL GO HOME,
WHY DON'T WE ALL GO HOME?
WHY SHOULD WE ALL GO HOME,
WHY SHOULD WE ALL GO HOME,
WHY SHOULD WE ALL GO HOME,
WHY SHOULD WE ALL GO HOME!
GOD I SEE WHAT YOU GOT GOIN' ON
I WANNA TOUCH YOU BUT I CAN'T RECONCILE
ALL THE WONDER OF THE WHALE
AND WHAT LITTLE TIME
I WANNA SPEND IT WITH YOU ON MY MIND
WOAH
WOAH YEAH
I WANT TO GET DOWN, OH PULL ON, PULL ON
BOW YOUR HEAD TO THE SALT SEA MASTADON
THE NEW ENGLAND MOOSE I GOT MY
WHALE HARVARD MASTA'S ON
A PANICKING PUGILIST IN A ROW
FORTY BARREL BULL IN A CHINA SHOP
WE PET THEM BUT DARE NOT TO DART,
DESCARTES WOULD DECLARE
FATE WOULD DASH US AGAINST THE ROCKS, AH
OUR BARNACLED BROTHERS
ARE LIKE US THEY SING, THEY DANCE,
THEY SPIT, THEY RHYME
THEY SUCKLE THEIR YOUNG
MAKE LOVE WITH THEIR TONGUES
THEY MOURN FOR THEIR SONS
WHEN THEY DIE
THEM HUMPS ROLL DOWN THEM FREEWAYS
INNIES, AUDIS,
BREACH, HIGH FIVE
FABLED NEIGHBOR,
PLATE TO THE NAVEL,
FAVOR CAME
STRAIGHT FROM THE GRAVE
SURVIVE
YOU DEALT ME RAW AND REAL
WITH THE DEAL YOU WROUGHT
BUT I ABSOLVE YOU FROM ALL WRONG INOTHERWORDS
LIKE THE MOTHERS
OF THE SILENT CHOIR OF BABY WHALES
YOU ARE THE MOTHER OF MY EVERY THOUGHT
GOD I SEE WHAT YOU GOT GOIN' ON
I WANNA TOUCH YOU BUT I CAN'T RECONCILE
ALL THE WONDER OF THE WORLD
AND WHAT LITTLE TIME
I WANNA SPEND IT WITH YOU ON MY MIND, AH
Captain Ahab: Fedallah my love. Every great fight needs a prophecy. Tell me a story sugar.
GIVE YOU A STORY BABE
THAT'S ALL YOU NEED
THAT'S WHY YOU KEEP ME AROUND
AFTER ALL
YOU FETISHIZE AND EXOTICIZE
EVERYTHING THAT DON'T SQUARE WITH Y'ALL
WHY SHOULD I LET HER HAVE HER SAY NOW?
WHATEVER IT IS SHE WANTS FROM ME,
WHY SHOULD I REHEARSE
WHAT'S THIS ABOUT A HEARSE?
Fedallah: Oh, okay, a'ight. Let's rehearse.
A HEARSE
ONLY ONE OF THESE?
IT'LL SOUND LESS TRIFLING IN THREES
MY FIRST PROPHECY
WRAPPED IN A WHITE SHROUD
THE FIRST HEARSE YOU SEE
MUST CARRY ME DOWN
THE NEXT HEARSE WOOD BE
FROM TAFFRAIL TO BOW
A STATELY QUEEN
STOVE SIDELONG DOWN
TILL THESE ARE SEEN
REST EASY NOW
LONG LIVE MY CAPTAIN
OH, TASTE VICTORY!
submitted by Danielhenriemond to u/Danielhenriemond [link] [comments]
THE WHALE
WE'RE IN NOVEMBER NOW
THE CISTERN OF MY SOUL HAS FROZEN OVER
NOW ONE COULD SKATE ACROSS
I COULD TAKE MY LIFE
WITH THE PISTOL AND THE BALL
YOU COULD CALL YOUR DOCTOR,
MINE CAN'T BE FOUND ASHORE
AS WE SET SAIL FOR I DON'T KNOW WHERE
AHAB TAKE THE WHEEL IF YOU DARE
WITH THE GREAT WHITE WHALE I DON'T COMPARE
ALL THE SAME I WILL BE THERE
IN BED WITH A CANNIBAL'S KOKOVOKO CURSE
FROM SWEET DREAMS OF JONAH I AWAKE
CRYING TEARS OF THIRST
IF YOU SHOULD EVER LEAVE I'LL SHAKE YOU FROM YOUR SLEEP
AND WARN YOU THAT OLD THUNDER IS KEEN
ON NIGHTMARE IVORY
AS WE SET SAIL FOR I DON'T KNOW WHERE
AHAB TAKE THE WHEEL IF YOU DARE
WITH THE GREAT WHITE WHALE I DON'T COMPARE
ALL THE SAME I WILL BE THERE
IN SATURN'S GREY AND NEPTUNE'S BLUE
YOUR LOVE AND YOUR LIFE ARE GONE,
NOW IMAGINE THAT WE WON
AND WHEN YOU CLAP YOUR EYES UPON
THE WHITE AND THE MIGHT OF GODS,
NOW IMAGINE THE LEGEND
(Oh's)
FATHOMS OF CREAMY FOAM STRETCH BEYOND THE STERN
THE SKULL OF SPERMACETTI AND SOUL
ARE NOT UNLIKE OUR OWN
HIS BODY DRIPPING LIFE INTO THE MOUTHS OF SHARKS
WHO SWIM ALL AROUND US
INCHES FROM OUR SLEEPING HEARTS
AS WE SET SAIL FOR I DON'T KNOW WHERE
AHAB TAKE THE WHEEL IF YOU DARE
WITH THE GREAT WHITE WHALE I DON'T COMPARE
ALL THE SAME I WILL BE THERE
AS WE SET SAIL FOR I DON'T KNOW WHERE
AHAB TAKE THE STEEL IF YOU DARE
WITH THE GREAT WHITE WHALE I DON'T COMPARE
ALL THE SAME I WILL BE THERE EY
Q
YOJO LOVE YOU
YOU CAN CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN YOU SLEEP
YOJO KEEP WATCH
NO MONSTERS UNDER YOUR BED
DON'T KNOW WHERE EVER THEY STEAL AND THEY LURK
WELL IT'S ANYONE'S GUESS
SHOULD YOU MEET ANOTHER
UNDERCOVER FOR THE DEVIL
THEY'LL BE UNDER THE COVERS
YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS
IT MEANS YOU KILL THEM (LA DA DA DAH)
IT MEANS YOU KILL THEM (LA DA DA DAH WOO-OOH)
YOU KILL THEM (LA DA DA DAH)
YOU KILL THEM
I KILL YOU!!! (LA DA DA DAH)
I KILL YOU!!! (LA DA DA DAH WOO-OOH)
I KILL YOU!!! (LA DA DA DAH)
I LOVE YOU!!!
WHAT ARE YOU, AND WHAT SHALL BE YOUR NAME?
WHAT DID YOU SAY, YOU CALL ME Q.
WHAT IS Q, AND WHERE DOES Q COME FROM?
WHAT DID YOU SAY? MY ISLAND IS OKOVOKO, BABE.
AH,ROKOVOKO
NAH NAH NAH NAH
KOKOVOKO
NAH NAH NAH NAH
HYUCK-A-JOKE-O
NAH NAH NAH NAH
THEN SHOW ME on a map?
YOU RAVAGE THE AVERAGE MAN WHO IS BLACK WITH THE BRAND OF A SAVAGE
A LIFE THAT WON'T MATTER HE'S SHATTERED, ABANDONS HIS LOT TO THE SHAM OF THE MANTLE YOU HANDED HIM RANCOROUS HARLEQUIN HAVING THE BADDEST BEHAVIOR IMAGINED
BUT WE ARE YOUR BRETHEREN SCRAM, CRACK THE BOOKS ON THE FANTI, THE TYPEE, THE OMOO, ASHANTI
THE TRAGEDY REALLY THE COMEDY, YOU GIVE US ALMS WHILE YOU SUCKIN ON CHERRIES SEE NO NEED FOR CHARITY TILL YOU SEE US AS EQUAL NO GREATER WE ALWAYS WILL BE EMPTY-HANDED
SOME WOULD SAY THAT WE NEED OUR OWN PLANET
MAN FUCK IT CUZ THIS ONE IS LAVISH
BE MAGNANIMOUS BANISH ANIMUS BE AMOROUS
HAVE SOME COMPASSION YOU BANDITS
BUT YOJO LOVE,
WHAT DID IT SAY?
YOJO LOVE ALL, ALL.
UNCONDITIONAL, UNCONDITIONAL
BUT YOJO LOVE, YOJO LOVE ALL, ALL, ALL!
WHAT DO YOU SAY, WHAT DO YOU SAY, WHAT DO YOU SAY!
AH (X2)
WHAT'S GOING ON?
BABY THIS IS MY RAMADAN
RELIGIOUS MEDITATIVE STATE,
I DON'T SEEK YOUR PRAISE,
I WON'T SUIT YOUR FRAME OF REFERENCE, YA DIG
YOU DO DIG HUMAN FLESH THOUGH
FOOL, YOU BELIEVE WHAT SOME INNKEEPER TELLS YOU!
BUT ARE YOU?
THE WORLD IS CANNIBAL. WE HERE TO EAT OUR FILL, BLACKFOOT BUFALLO. BEST TO BE THANKFUL FOR THE MEAL, AND ANYWAY BETTER TO TASTE THAN WASTE WOULDN'T YOU SAY?
HOW DO WE TASTE?
I TOLD YOU, DON'T ASSUME I KNOW.
SO?
BITE OFF THE TIP OF YOUR FINGER LOVE.
WELL GO ON. TRY IT, SNAPS LIKE A PARSNIP, TRY IT!
I WON'T BUT I LOVE YOU SO.
WOW.
HOW CAN I PROVE IT?
YOU'LL HAVE TO JOIN THE GREATEST
BAND EVER KNOWN, PEEK-WOW, FESTOONED IN WHALEBONE, LIKE Q.
DONE.
KNIGHTS AND SQUIRES
I WANNA BE WHAT YOU WANT ME TO BE
I WANT TO GIVE IT MY ALL
JAM SALT UP MY LUNGS
COLD SAND IN MY HEART, OH
FEELING HUNG AND WOKE, YOU HAVE BEEN LIVING A LIE
DRY LAND AIN'T THE PLACE TO WASTE YOUR TIME
DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO
BUT I AM NOT YOUR PORPOISE, DON'T YOU FEED ME YOUR LINES
IF YOU'RE WORTH YOUR WEIGHT IN SALT, YOU'LL FLOAT JUST FINE
DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO
WE NEED THIS RUSH TO FEEL ALIVE
IT'S ALL WE CAN DO
ALL WE CAN DO OOH HO, HO
DO YOU FEEL IT TOO
IT'S ALL YOU CAN DO IS
PULL, FIGHT, BLEED TOGETHER
I'M ALL IN FAVOR SO MUCH CHILD
YOU AND I ARE ONE AS ONE IS ALL AND SO ON
A WHALING CREW'S A WELL-OILED MACHINE
DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO
AND IF ANYONE AT ALL WOULD TRY TO WIDE THE DIVIDE
THE MATES WILL STOP YOUR HEART LIKE ONE TWO THREE!
ONE! TWO! THREE!
ONE, TWO, THREE!
WE TUNE TOGETHER TO SURVIVE
IT'S ALL WE CAN DO
ALL WE CAN DO OOH HO, HO
DO YOU FEEL IT TOO
IT'S ALL YOU CAN DO
WE PULL, FIGHT, BLEED, TOGETHER
WHAT WE KNOW HOW TO DO
ALONE ON THE BLUE
ALL WE CAN DO-OOH HO, HO,
THAT'S ALL YOU GOT TO DO
ALL YOU CAN DO
IS PULL, FIGHT, BLEED FOREVER
THE PRESENT DANGER WAS PRICED IN, CHILD
I'M ALL IN FAVOR SO MUCH CHILD
CAN'T BE DONE WITHOUT YOU, MY SQUIRE
YOU WANNA BE WHAT WE WANT YOU TO BE
YOU WANT TO GIVE IT YOUR ALL
THAT ALL DEPENDS
ARE YOU FEARLESS MY FRIEND, YEAH?
NO.
GOOD ANSWER, ROW!
THE QUARTERDECK
CREW, WHAT DO YOU DO
WHEN YOU SEE A WHALE
SING!
SING OUT HIS NAME, LOWER AWAY, THEN
PULL TILL ONE OF YOU ARE DEAD
DEAD!
ONE IS BLEACHED BONE WHITE, A STAIN
DOES HE FAN HIS TAIL
DOES HE SPOUT WHITE HAIL
DOES HIS IRON BRAID AND COIL, ALL
TWISKE-BE-TWISK
THE SAME.
CORKSCREW, Q, THAT'S WHAT THE IRON DO,
DEATH AND DEVILS, HE IS MOBY DICK,
TASH, ONLY YOU AND I HAVE SEEN
SILENCE STARBUCK, WHY THE LONG FACE
I KNOW WHAT YOU WOULD SAY-
YES THE MONSTER TOOK MY LEG
MADE ME A POOR PEG
FOREVER AND A DAY
I'M GONNA RUN THE WHALE, OKAY
AROUND PERDITION'S FLAMES,
OH BEFORE I GIVE UP THE CHASE
AYE!
AND UNTIL HE ROLLS BELLY UP
AND SPOUTS BLACK BLOOD,
I WON'T GIVE UP!
AY?
OH, AY!
AND IF YOU COME WITH ME
AND SHUT HIS CROOKED JAW
IF YOU COME WITH ME
AVENGE THE LEG I LOST,
THEN ALL IS ONE
AYE.
PERMIT ME CAPTAIN TO EASE MY MIND
SOMETHING YOU'VE HAD TO DO
FOR SAILORS GREEN AND BLUE
A THOUSAND TIMES
BUT THIS AIN'T MY FIRST RODEO
I KNOW FLASK NEEDS A SALARY,
STUBB GOT TO STOCK HER WEED
AND I OWE MY LOVE A DIAMOND RING
AND LIKE STUBB'S GREEN WEED
THE WHALE'S CROOKED JAW MUST BE INSPECTED
FUN
BUT HOW MUCH GOLD OR DEVIL'S LETTUCE WILL YOUR VENGEANCE FETCH US
OOH, NONE!
SO IN TRUTH, WHY WOULD YOU RISK YOUR DARLING CREW WHEN THE BLASTED WHALE DISMASTED YOU?
OOH
STARBUCK, WOULD THAT YOU WERE SO BOLD WITH YOUR SPEAR AS WITH YOUR TONGUE.
THE CHANCE TO GO GOLD, TO THE ONE WHO DELIVERS ME THE SLAUGHTERED WHALE, AND IN THE TAIL, THREE HOLES PUNCHED
BLASPHEMY, CAPTAIN TO SEEK VENGEANCE UPON A FORCE OF NATURE-
A DUMB BRUTE, NO BRAIN, ALL BRAWN, THAT STRUCK YOUR COLD LEG GONE IN BLIND INSTINCT.
BLIND? COME ON.
WE LIVE UNDER A GOD, ADDICTED TO MASKS,
A COSTUME QUEEN, IN YEAR-ROUND HALLOWEEN.
MY BASTARD'S MASK IS MOBY DICK
SO WHEN THE BAD MASK ATTACKS,
HOW DOES A MAN STRIKE BACK?
DISPATCH THE MASK.
FLASK RELAX, BACK OFF THE MAST.
THEN CAN YOU SEE GOD'S FACE.
MATE, MY WILL JUST BECAME
YOUR FATE.
UNTIL YOU FLAY THE WHALE ALIVE
YOU WON'T SEE A DIME,
YOU'LL SOONER SEE YOUR QUEST IN MINE
AYE!
AND IF YOU WANT TO PROFITEER,
CONQUER YOUR FEAR,
OR SIMPLY SEE YOUR NAME IN LIGHTS
AYE!
GLOWING ON THE WHALE MARQUEE,
LIKE PEG LEGGY LEE
HEY! SOFTLY RAISE YOUR DEATH NOTES HIGH
AYE!
HARPOONS TO MY LEFT
LANCES TO MY RIGHT
LET US SING TO DEATH TONIGHT!
YAY, AYE! YAY, AYE! YAY, AYE!
AND IF YOU COME WITH ME
AND SHUT HIS CROOKED JAW
IF YOU COME WITH ME
AVENGE THE LEG I LOST
IF IT SHOULD CROSS ME
YOU KNOW I'D STRIKE THE SUN
SO DON'T YOU CROSS ME
WE MAY BE LOST
BUT ALL WILL BE ONE!
AYE!!!
FOLK SOUL
BRING THE OCEAN TO THEIR KNEES
BEGGING PLEASE
THE CAPTAIN
SILENT IN HER WAKE
HAS SHE BEEN
SINGIN IN HER SLEEP
WHO IN THE FOLK SOUL KNOWS THE TUNE?
LADY LOVE
I KNOW BUT SHE KEEPS IT DOWN BELOW
IN THE HOLD
I'LL HOLD YOU BABY, LATHER ME IN AMBERGRIS
CAPTAIN YOU LOOK MEAN AND PLAIN
DOWN IN THE MOUTH
BUT YOU CAN KEEP ME AROUND
OH YEAH
(RAP)
Y'ALL
I'M A MARITIME MERITOCRAT
YOU CAN BITE ME BOO, JUST DON'T Y'ALL BITE MY SHIT
YAH, SHE'S A MONOMANIC, AND WHILE SHE AT IT
GONNA GET THAT LIQUID CUZ WE ROYALTY, DAMMIT
SO GRAB YO CAT O' NINES
WAWA YOU KNOW YOU FINE
THEM WAVES GO BUMP DE BUMP
THIS IS THE HIGH LIFE
Y'ALL SOAKING IN THE SQUALLS
BLOWN FROM THE GODS' REUNION BRAWLS
RAISE ME A WHALE, WE GOT SOME STEAM TO BLOW OFF
WE WILL BE RELEASED FROM ALL
I WANT IT BAD
YA WANT TO DANCE?
DANCE, AND CAST YOUR TROUBLES OFF
PIP, PLAY YOUR TAMBOURINE
WAG LIKE MY TAMBOURINE
PIP, PLAY YOUR TAMBOURINE
AH! PIP, PLAY YOUR TAMBOURINE
WAG LIKE MY TAMBOURINE
PIP, PLAY YOUR TAMBOURINE
AH!
WE WILL BE RELEASED FROM ALL I WANT IT BAD
YA WANT TO DANCE?
DANCE, AND CAST YOUR TROUBLES OFF
PIP, PLAY YOUR TAMBOURINE, YEAH!
LADY, PARDON ME
I'M CAUGHT IN REVERIE
FROM THE MAST I SEE
WHALES, WONT YOU LEND YOUR UNCTUOUS EARS
AS PIP REVEALS HER DREAMS AND FEARS
I'LL FLY IN A PLANE
NOT EVEN SURE WHAT THAT MEANS
NEVER TO BE SEEN AGAIN
THE FIRST LOWERING
LOWER AWAY, LOWER AWAY
TWO MILES OFF
LOWER AWAY, LOWER AWAY
WHAT HAVE WE GOT
LOWER AWAY, LOWER AWAY
WHERE IS IT NOW
LOWER AWAY
I WILL...
ANSWER YOU WILL CALL
WHERE THE SEA MONSTERS CALL HOME
TALK TO ME, TALK TO YOU
THAT LANGUAGE DON'T BELONG IN SONG
WE ARE ROOK, KNIGHT, KING AND QUEEN
IN THIS BLUE BOUNDLESS BOWLING GREEN
IT'S ALL FOR YOU, ALL FOR ME
OH WE HAVE EVERYTHING WE NEED
DON'T WE DEAR, DON'T WE DEAR!
LOWER AWAY, LOWER AWAY
THE WHALE IS RIGHT
LOWER AWAY, HOW DO YOU KNOW?
HER TEETH AND EYES
LOWER AWAY
CRACK YOUR BACKBONES, CROAK YOUR TONGUES
BURST YOUR LIVERS, CHOKE YOUR LUNGS
TAKE IT SLOW, AS YOU ROW
SOAK YOUR SMOKEY EYES IN BLOOD
HEROES KILLERS AIN'T SO CLEAR
USE A JUDICIOUS DOSE OF FEAR
SAY A PRAYER? WHAT TO WEAR?
OH JAWS OF DEATH OR EASY CHAIR?
WHAT'S IT DEAR? WHAT'S IT DEAR?
LOWER AWAY,
LOWER AWAY
SING IT!
THE SQUALL IS CLOSE
LOWER AWAY
LOWER AWAY
BRING IT!
THE BEAST IS TOAST
LOWER AWAY,
DAGGOO, GIVE YOUR SIS A LIFT,
SO SHE CAN STAB A WHALE A BIT
A BOWLING BALL ON A WALL
THAT WALL COULD TURN TOWER I WISH
WHO'S THAT SHADOW ROLLED IN WHITE
AHAB TOLD ME SHE'S OUR GUIDE
A STOWAWAY, THE CAPTAIN'S FAVORITE
I GUESS ASSUME SHE'S ON OUR SIDE?
RIGHT, RIGHT, RIGHT. RIGHT RIGHT RIGHT.
ONE MORE TIME!
LOWER AWAY,
LOWER AWAY,
LOWER AWAY,
LOWER AWAY.
LOWER AWAY, OW OW OW OW (X2)
(whistling)
AHH (X4)
THE RAMADAN
IN DAYS OF OLD
I SEEN IT ALL
THEM DAYS OF OLD
REMEMBER THOSE
WON'T TAKE WHAT'S COMING
LYING DOWN
LIKE DAYS OF OLD
CALABASH!
POEE POEE IN A GOURD IS BEST
BUT IF I GOTTA BREAK IT TO YOU,
BREAK IT OVER YOUR HEAD
MY BROTHERS ARE FLED
THE REST, APPROPRIATED OR DEAD
GO SUCK YOUR TOOTH ON
A BOUILLON OF KNOWLEDGE INSTEAD
I'M ON A TALL DARK MOUNTAIN WITH MY AFRICAN FRIENDS
A MOUNTAIN OF DREAD
GUESS THE SHIT THEY MOUNTIN' UP NEXT
A CRAFTY CRACKA BE LAUGHIN'
AT US NIGGAS TAKIN A BATH
AND THEN THEY FASTENIN' A NOOSE TO
JIM CROW'S NEST
DEEP THROAT THAT
I HAVE SPOKEN
THIS LIFE AIN'T EASY TO LIVE
BUT DAMN IF IT'S EASY TO RAP
YOU TALK A SWEET GAME BOUT THE STRENGTH
OF THE AMERICAN WHALER
BUT WITH AMERICAN SAILORS
CAME YOU AMERICAN SLAVERS
AND GOD FORBID YOUR GODLINESS
WOULD USE AMERICAN LABOR
WE AIN'T FOR REFUND, BITCH,
WHO'S YOUR AMERICAN SAVIOR
LIKE AN ABE WHO COULD GRANT US WINGS
SO WE COULD FLY LIKE A JAILBIRD,
FREEDOM RING, SING
IN DAYS OF OLD
SOME HEAVY SHIT
WHITE DEVILS SAID
WE HEAVEN SENT
WE LET THEM IN
THEN HEAVEN WEPT
IN DAYS OF OLD
WE SEE, WE CLEAVE THE SEA WITH THE TELL TALE NEEDLE AND PLEASE DON'T LEAVE OUT THE NORTH STAR
THAT'S THE MOST IMPORTANT PART
OF KNOWING VAGUELY WHERE YOU ARE
SWEET HARRIET RODE HER CHARIOT
TO THE TUNE OF THE SKY CHART BY THE SAME NAME
SPEAKING OF NAMES, Q AIN'T MINE IT'S QUEEQUEG
TOO MANY Q'S AND U'S FOR FOOLS THESE DAYS
TAKE A DOUBLE-U IF YOU GOIN' GOLD, IF YOU ON THAT MONO-SYLLA-FLOW, COUNT OF MOBY-CRISCO.
FOR A BLACK WHALER
AIN'T NO SECOND CHANCES
I'M TORN TO PIECES IN A WAR BETWEEN
MY CIRCUITRY AND MY CIRCUMSTANCES
AHAB SON, AIN'T ABSALOM,
ACAB MEANS
ALL CAPTAINS ARE BASTARDS,
OH CAPTIVES, MY CAPTIVES
PUT THIS HUMPBACK HUNT PACK ON BLAST
THE VERDICT, MY VIRGINAL QUEEN
WHACKED IN THE BACK BY IMPERIAL CRACKERS ON HORSEBACK
AM I A PEOPLE EATER, IS THAT WHAT I GET
FOR SCOOPING OUT MEAT COOL COCOA NUT TREAT
OUT OF ALL OF YOUR HEADS, SAY WHAT DO YOU THINK? SING:
NAH, NAH NAH NAH NAH,
NAH NAH NAH NAH,
NAH NAH NAH NAH,
NAH NAH NAH NAH,
NAH NAH NAH NAH,
NAH NAH NAH NAH,
NAH NAH NAH NAH, WHOO
NAH, NAH NAH NAH NAH,
NAH NAH NAH NAH,
NAH NAH NAH NAH,
NAH NAH NAH NAH,
NAH NAH NAH NAH,
NAH NAH NAH NAH,
NAH NAH NAH NAH, WHOO
WHET YOUR WHALE SPADES
SHARPEN YOUR SHARK TEETH
THIS AIN'T NO WATERSPOUT
I'M IN A JET STREAM
STUBB GOT THAT FINAL BOW, BLAUW
THE BOUNTY FOR KILLING ME,
I'M EVERY MOTHERFUCKIN'
SPERM WHALE'S WET DREAM
OF ALL MY BROTHERS ISHY MISHY YOU MY WHITE ROCK
THOUGH CAPTAIN AHAB HEART BE PSYCHO KILLER GOLDI-LOCKS
SOCK MONKEY YOJO AIN'T NO JOKE
BUT COLDER STILL THE MONKEY ROPE
HAS GOT OUR MORTAL COMPANY LOCKED
IN A JOINT STOCK
SO TAKE AN OATH NOW WHILE WE TAKIN IT SLOW NOW CUZ IN THE TEETH OF THE TYPHOON YOU TEETER, TOTTER, SURE AS THUNDER'S MOMMA'S DAUGHTER
WE ALL THE SAME SHADE IN THE SHADE OF THE EQUALIZER-AND WHEN SHE BLOWS OVER
OUR BLINDNESS WON'T HIDE HER
EENIE, MENE, MINE-Y TEKEL, UPHARSIN, I'LL DEFINE HER
WE ALL BEEN NUMBERED, WEIGHED, DIVIDED,
BY THIS TIME IT'S BEEN DECIDED WHO WILL DIE HERE, I APOLOGIZE, MY MIND MEANDERS-IN SPITE OF ALL UNITED WE RAMA-DA-DA-DA-DA-DA-DA-DAN!
IN DAYS OF OLD
I SEEN IT ALL
IN DAYS OF OLD
REMEMBER THOSE
WON'T TAKE WHAT'S COMING
LYING DOWN
LIKE DAYS OF OLD
NAH, NAH NAH NAH NAH,
NAH NAH NAH NAH,
NAH NAH NAH NAH,
NAH NAH NAH NAH,
NAH NAH NAH NAH,
NAH NAH NAH NAH,
NAH NAH NAH NAH, WHOO
NAH, NAH NAH NAH NAH,
NAH NAH NAH NAH,
NAH NAH NAH NAH,
NAH NAH NAH NAH,
NAH NAH NAH NAH,
NAH NAH NAH NAH,
NAH NAH NAH NAH
FEDALLAH
AH (X10)
I WOULDN'T CALL ME AN ATTENTION SEEKER
BUT Y'ALL SEEM TO PAY ATTENTION TO ME
I AIN'T NO CLOUT DEVIL
AIN'T NO STRAIGHT HYPE FLEXER
BUT I'M A WHALE CHASER
DIG?
THE CAPTAIN HOLDS ME RANSOM
THE CAPTAIN PAYS ME HANDSOME
I CAN HARDLY REMEMBER LIFE
BEFORE THE CAPTAIN ENTERED
THE FARTHEST CRY FROM TRAGIC
AND MORE THAN WORTHY OF MENTION
WAS MINE
I'M NOT A PUBLISHED AUTHOR
BUT MY STORIES SEEM TO MATTER
THAT'S WHY SHE HOLDS ME CLOSE
THAT'S WHY SHE LOVES ME MOST
WHAT IS YOUR HERITAGE
WHERE ARE YOU FROM?
AND MY ALL TIME FAVORITE, WHAT ARE YOU?
I CAN NO LONGER SERVE THE QUESTION
CAN'T DISAPPEAR OR RUN
IF I STICK WITH THE CAPTAIN
I ONLY HAVE TO ANSWER ONCE.
OH WHAT TO DO, WHAT TO DO
AS WE ARE ALL PREDISPOSED
I CHOOSE TO LET IT HAPPEN AS GOD WOULD HAVE IT, DOG.
AH (X15)
SOMEBODY GET ME OUT
BLINK TWICE, I'LL SILENTLY SHOUT
SOMEBODY GET ME OUT (X2)
DUSK
WHAT IS THIS SHARKISH DARKNESS COME OVER ME
WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE ME DO
WHAT WILL YOU HAVE ME DO
I'LL GIVE YOU ANYTHING
IF TO YOU JOY IT BRINGS
I HANG UPON YOUR WORDS, OH WATCHA GONNA SAY NOW, WOAH
AND IF OF WORDS, ALL YOUR LAST,
ARE BUT THE SAME THINGS YOU SAID IN THE PAST
I WILL CONSIDER ALL THE FAILURE OF YOUR FIRST MATE, WOAH
CAN MY GOD AND YOUR GOD BE SAID TO BE THE SAME
MY GOD CALLS YOU TO STOP
YOUR GOD BECKONS YOU ON
MAYBE HE LIED, POOR THING
OR YOU AIN'T LISTENING
BUT YOU HAVE DRILLED THROUGH ME,
AND BLASTED ALL MY DARK THOUGHTS UNLEASHED
THIS HORROR ORGY IN ME
IT TORTURES ME, OH
STOP THIS RIDE, NOW I WANT TO GET OFF
I WANT YOU GONE OLD THUNDER, SINCERELY YOUR FIRST MATE, WOAH
RIGHT NOW
NOW, WHERE ARE WE NOW
RIGHT NOW
TAKE THE TIME YOU NEED MY CAPTAIN
TO LET IT GO
I DIDN'T MEAN THOSE WORDS, I LOVE YOU SO
I ONLY FEAR FOR MY LIFE
BUT I'LL BE BRAVE
I'LL BE A BETTER WOMAN, I'LL BEHAVE
STARTING NOW
WHERE ARE WE NOW
RIGHT NOW
TAKE THE TIME YOU NEED MY THUNDER
LET IT OUT
ANYTHING YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT
I ONLY FEAR FOR MY LIFE
BUT I'LL BE BRAVE
I'LL BE A BETTER WOMAN, I'LL BEHAVE
STARTING NOW
WHERE ARE WE NOW
RIGHT NOW
TAKE THE TIME YOU NEED MY LOVER
AND SING YOUR PIECE
YOU RECOGNIZE THESE LOVE NOTES DON'T YOU DEAR
YOU HAVE BEEN KNOWN TO SING THEM
IN YOUR SLEEP
I PROMISE I'LL PROTECT YOU,
THAT'S ONE I'LL KEEP
WHAT IS THIS SHARKISH DARKNESS COME OVER ME
SURMISES
I'VE LOST ALL CONNECTION TO THE CREW
Y'ALL WANT TO KNOW?
I WANT IT
BETTER THAN OUR MOTHERS EVER EVER HAD BEFORE
MY MA MA MA MINE, YOU'RE ON MY TURF
MY DECK
MY SHIP
MY MA MA MA MINE, ALL MINE
ALL MINE
ALL MINE
MINE
MINE, AH
MINE
MINE
DON'T LOSE YOUR SENSE OF PURPOSE, NOW
I CALCULATE, I'LL BLAST YOUR SORDID SOULS FROM EVANESCENCE STRAIGHT INTO HELL
MY MA MA MA MINE, YOU'RE ON MY TURF
MY DECK
MY DREAMS
MY MA MA MA MINE, MY RULES
MY LAWS
MY WORD
MY MA MA MA MINE,
IF YOU DONT
IN HIS SOUL,
I'LL FLOAT
WITH YOUR BLOOD IN MY MOUTH, I WILL
AND HE WILL
BECOME
MINE
MINE, AH
MINE
MINE
YOU'RE LIKE MY BIRD DOG
GET OVER IT
OH OH
YEAH YEAH
MAN'S GREAT TOOL IS MAN HIMSELF
TO BE PREYED UPON
OH OH
YEAH YEAH
LEAVE ME ALONE, I WANNA BE ALONE
I'LL BE YOUR FOUL WEATHER FRIEND
INHALE IT, INHALE IT
LEAVE ME ALONE, I WANNA BE ALONE
OH OH
YEAH YEAH
THE GRAND ARMADA
ALL WE NEED
NOTHING BUT OUR WEAPONS AND WANTS
ALL WE ARE
NOTHING BUT OUR MUSCLES AND THOUGHTS
ALL WE DO
WE DRINK AIR AND WE BREATHE SEA
ALL WE WANT
IS FOR FATE TO DELIVER YOU ME
ROCK ME, ROCK ME GALE
TWIST THIS HEAD AND TAIL
INTO TREASURED GOLD
WORTH THE WAIT I'M TOLD
I DON'T KNOW BABE
WEALTH TO FILL THE SUN
AIN'T NO SHOW, BABE
ALL I WANNA DO IS HUNT YOU
WHERE YOU BEEN
I BEEN SLAUGHTERING ALL OF YOUR KIN
WE CLATTERING ON FOR THE RICHES INVOLVED
THOUGH I'D NEVER DISCOUNT MY CREW
I COULDN'T CARE LESS MY DEAR
I WANT YOU SO BAD
MY BROW IS BLACK SAND
JUST LOOK AT THE VEINS IN MY HEAD
WELL ROCK ME, ROCK ME, ROCK ME, ROCK ME,
ROCK ME, ROCK ME, ROCK ME, ROCK ME, ROCK ME, ROCK ME GALE
TELL THE NEEDLE'S TALE
BRING ME TREASURES, GOLD
WORTH THE WAIT I'M TOLD
I DON'T KNOW BABE
WEALTH TO FILL THE SUN
AIN'T NO SHOW, BABE
ALL I WANNA DO IS HUNT YOU
I'VE GOT THE HANG OF THIS, HANG ME LOOSE
WE CATCH A PRETTY PRETTY IN THE AFTERNOON
WOAH, WOAH, WOAH, WOAH
ALL MEN ARE WISE, AND BEASTS ARE CRUDE
BUT YOU EVER YELLED FIRE IN A CROWDED ROOM, TRY IT NOW
NAH, MEN ARE SHEEP. SHOVED TO THE EDGE
(DA DA DA DA DA)
I'D TRAMPLE YOU, YOU'D DASH ME TO DEATH
(DA DA DA DA DA)
WE NEVER FIT, WE OUTTA PLACE
(DA DA DA DA DA)
WE NEVER FIT, WE CHANGE OUR SHAPE
(DA DA DA DA DA)
SEE THE PIRATES COME,
THEY SEEM TO SQUAWK IN EVERY TONGUE ALL AT ONCE,
AH, AH, AH
WHY DON'T WE ALL GO HOME,
WHY DON'T WE ALL GO HOME,
WHY DON'T WE ALL GO HOME,
WHY DON'T WE ALL GO HOME?
WHY SHOULD WE ALL GO HOME,
WHY SHOULD WE ALL GO HOME,
WHY SHOULD WE ALL GO HOME,
WHY SHOULD WE ALL GO HOME!
GOD I SEE WHAT YOU GOT GOIN' ON
I WANNA TOUCH YOU BUT I CAN'T RECONCILE
ALL THE WONDER OF THE WHALE
AND WHAT LITTLE TIME
I WANNA SPEND IT WITH YOU ON MY MIND
WOAH
WOAH YEAH
I WANT TO GET DOWN, OH PULL ON, PULL ON
BOW YOUR HEAD TO THE SALT SEA MASTADON
THE NEW ENGLAND MOOSE I GOT MY
WHALE HARVARD MASTA'S ON
A PANICKING PUGILIST IN A ROW
FORTY BARREL BULL IN A CHINA SHOP
WE PET THEM BUT DARE NOT TO DART,
DESCARTES WOULD DECLARE
FATE WOULD DASH US AGAINST THE ROCKS, AH
OUR BARNACLED BROTHERS
ARE LIKE US THEY SING, THEY DANCE,
THEY SPIT, THEY RHYME
THEY SUCKLE THEIR YOUNG
MAKE LOVE WITH THEIR TONGUES
THEY MOURN FOR THEIR SONS
WHEN THEY DIE
THEM HUMPS ROLL DOWN THEM FREEWAYS
INNIES, AUDIS,
BREACH, HIGH FIVE
FABLED NEIGHBOR,
PLATE TO THE NAVEL,
FAVOR CAME
STRAIGHT FROM THE GRAVE
SURVIVE
YOU DEALT ME RAW AND REAL
WITH THE DEAL YOU WROUGHT
BUT I ABSOLVE YOU FROM ALL WRONG INOTHERWORDS
LIKE THE MOTHERS
OF THE SILENT CHOIR OF BABY WHALES
YOU ARE THE MOTHER OF MY EVERY THOUGHT
GOD I SEE WHAT YOU GOT GOIN' ON
I WANNA TOUCH YOU BUT I CAN'T RECONCILE
ALL THE WONDER OF THE WORLD
AND WHAT LITTLE TIME
I WANNA SPEND IT WITH YOU ON MY MIND, AH
Captain Ahab: Fedallah my love. Every great fight needs a prophecy. Tell me a story sugar.
GIVE YOU A STORY BABE
THAT'S ALL YOU NEED
THAT'S WHY YOU KEEP ME AROUND
AFTER ALL
YOU FETISHIZE AND EXOTICIZE
EVERYTHING THAT DON'T SQUARE WITH Y'ALL
WHY SHOULD I LET HER HAVE HER SAY NOW?
WHATEVER IT IS SHE WANTS FROM ME,
WHY SHOULD I REHEARSE
WHAT'S THIS ABOUT A HEARSE?
Fedallah: Oh, okay, a'ight. Let's rehearse.
A HEARSE
ONLY ONE OF THESE?
IT'LL SOUND LESS TRIFLING IN THREES
MY FIRST PROPHECY
WRAPPED IN A WHITE SHROUD
THE FIRST HEARSE YOU SEE
MUST CARRY ME DOWN
THE NEXT HEARSE WOOD BE
FROM TAFFRAIL TO BOW
A STATELY QUEEN
STOVE SIDELONG DOWN
TILL THESE ARE SEEN
REST EASY NOW
LONG LIVE MY CAPTAIN
OH, TASTE VICTORY!
2024.04.23 13:07 JulieSongwriter #79B: Good Morning, Ladies!
Dear Ladies,
I loved everybody's "I-am-the-dragon-girl" stories on our chat! Keep them coming!
Let's keep studying Ikeda Sensei's lecture on "Key Passages from The Record of the Orally Transmitted Teachings," Part 8 in the April Living Buddhism. Today we continue the section "Revealing the Precious Jewel That Exists Within." Here Sensei casts some light on the dragon girl attaining enlightenment in the Devadatta Chapter.
The Record of the Orally Transmitted Teachings says:
....At the time when the precious jewel was still in the hands of the dragon girl, it represented the attainments that were inherent in her nature. But when the Buddha accepted the precious jewel, it became representative of the attainments acquired through religious practice. Herein is embodied the principle that “acquired through practice” and “inherent in nature” are not two different things. (OTT, 107–108)
The dragon king’s daughter’s act of handing the jewel to Shakyamuni expresses the principle of “three thousand realms in a single moment of life.” It has two facets: “the attainments inherent in one’s nature” and “the attainments acquired through religious practice.”
Sensei notes:
We had a wonderful discussion meeting on Sunday. It took religious practice to put the meeting together and promote! Some people, of course, couldn't make it so we make our calls to catch them up. Religious practice! Special May Contributions start on the 28th. "Out of deep appreciation, let's make a contribution early!" You know what I am going to say next, Ladies...Religious practice! Heidi and Lita wrote about their Buddhist-Jewish Passover Seder last night. Lots of religious practice!
Sensei summarizes the process:
Just a little friendly disclaimer here. I am taking the liberty to quote but slightly paraphrase for simplicity's sake. I am going to eliminate footnotes and brackets. Etc, etc, etc. Sue me, if you wish. For the original, please just click on the link above.
submitted by JulieSongwriter to SGIWhistleblowersMITA [link] [comments]
I loved everybody's "I-am-the-dragon-girl" stories on our chat! Keep them coming!
Let's keep studying Ikeda Sensei's lecture on "Key Passages from The Record of the Orally Transmitted Teachings," Part 8 in the April Living Buddhism. Today we continue the section "Revealing the Precious Jewel That Exists Within." Here Sensei casts some light on the dragon girl attaining enlightenment in the Devadatta Chapter.
The Record of the Orally Transmitted Teachings says:
....At the time when the precious jewel was still in the hands of the dragon girl, it represented the attainments that were inherent in her nature. But when the Buddha accepted the precious jewel, it became representative of the attainments acquired through religious practice. Herein is embodied the principle that “acquired through practice” and “inherent in nature” are not two different things. (OTT, 107–108)
The dragon king’s daughter’s act of handing the jewel to Shakyamuni expresses the principle of “three thousand realms in a single moment of life.” It has two facets: “the attainments inherent in one’s nature” and “the attainments acquired through religious practice.”
Sensei notes:
When still in the dragon girl’s hand, the jewel represents the attainments that were inherent in her nature. The principle of “three thousand realms in a single moment of life” is clearly at work, and the life state of Buddhahood is inherent in her life. But that alone is not enough for her to bring forth the great workings of the Mystic Law, or to embody the principle of “three thousand realms in a single moment of life” in a true sense.What is lacking?
When Shakyamuni accepts the precious jewel from the dragon king’s daughter, it represents “the attainments acquired through religious practice.”Aha: Religious practice!
In terms of our practice today, it means that through chanting Nam-myoho-renge-kyo for the happiness of ourselves and teaching others to do the same, we reveal the life state of Buddhahood inherent within us.Because of our past behaviors, none of us in The Fam touch alcohol. But we do enjoy Perrier. That pretty blue bottle sitting in our refrigerator has the potential to be refreshing. But it has to be taken out, and that difficult screw has to be unwound without cutting your hand to pieces. To trick our minds that we are about to have an exotic cocktail, we have to pour the content into lovely iced glasses and clink our toast. Call it "religious practice" if you will, but we have just moved from potential to actual.
We had a wonderful discussion meeting on Sunday. It took religious practice to put the meeting together and promote! Some people, of course, couldn't make it so we make our calls to catch them up. Religious practice! Special May Contributions start on the 28th. "Out of deep appreciation, let's make a contribution early!" You know what I am going to say next, Ladies...Religious practice! Heidi and Lita wrote about their Buddhist-Jewish Passover Seder last night. Lots of religious practice!
Sensei summarizes the process:
These two aspects of “the attainments inherent in one’s nature” and “the attainments acquired through religious practice” are deeply interrelated. Because we inherently possess the life state of Buddhahood, we can manifest it through our Buddhist practice, and because we can manifest it through our Buddhist practice, it becomes clear that we inherently possess it. These two aspects are nondual, and both are indispensable.Ladies, let's work on both today! A Perrier toast from one non-dual to another!
Just a little friendly disclaimer here. I am taking the liberty to quote but slightly paraphrase for simplicity's sake. I am going to eliminate footnotes and brackets. Etc, etc, etc. Sue me, if you wish. For the original, please just click on the link above.
2024.04.22 05:14 Food_Gym_RealEstate Am I wrong for planning to divorce my wife because I caught her in a fundamental lie?
I (32 M) have been with my soon to be ex wife (32 F) for 5 years (married for 2). We also have a 1 year old daughter.
Up until this past weekend, we've had a great relationship. As-in, I didn't have any major complaints. Small things here and there, but any conflict we've had, we've always been able to have a calm discussion and work out our issues.
I want to clarify that that I never expected to date/marry a virgin considering the condition of the dating market, nor do I have a specific number in mind for a dealbreaker. That being said, in the early stages of dating, she brought up the topic of body count. I'm not saying that I wouldn't eventually have asked, but I never pressed her for that info.
She willingly told me her body count was 12. Much lower than I expected. She's an attractive woman with a high sex drive, but a high sex drive doesn't mean sleeping around. I didn't question or emphasis it. I take most people at their word, and let time shed light on lies. Looking back, that was a mistake.
Anyway, my STBXW best friend, lets call her Lauren is a former colleague of mine. Lauren was the one who introduced me to my wife. At the time, we were all in the Healthcare field, and all 3 of us were Nurse Practitioners. Currently, only STBXW has the same job title.
Lauren hit a major milestone, recently, and landed her dream job. Or more accurately put, Lauren saved up enough money to realistically go into buisness for herself in a field completely unrelated to Healthcare. Friday, we all went out for drinks to celebrate and support Lauren (amongst a handful of other people).
This part is very important, my STBXW and I do not drink. We're not sober but we both had a crazy drinking phase in college, and we're over alcohol. We're both are also educated health nuts. We eat clean, workout regularly, and it's hard for us to not see what alcohol really is, which is poison.
Friday would be the first time either of us even remotely got tipsy together, let alone drunk. It's not that we won't drink, it's just isn't appealing. We'll drink on special occasions, and that's not a gurantee. For the duration of the relationship ,the handful of times we have had alcoholic drinks, it was separately and far and few in-between. It was planned that way, but we primarily have different friend groups.
This celebration, we said screw it and let the drinks flow. It's abundantly obvious that our alcohol tolerance no longer exist. We're getting toasted, Lauren is getting toasted, and so is everyone else in the group. But it's a good time. We're not hurting anyway, and we're having fun.
Lauren and STBXW get to talking about their crazy times in college. I failed to mention they met in college. I didn't hear every single detail, as the conversation was between them but I heard enough to know hookups were consistent, and not outliers. She had multiple group play experinces, and what made me really want to throw up is that my wife engaged in pay for play. If we're not sugar coating, then prostitution.
Listening to their stories, dots didn't need to be "connected" to come to the conclusion her number was way over 12.
Obviously, I'm in a bad mood (still am), but I continue to save face because I don't want to ruin Lauren celebration. The train of thought at the time was I like Lauren, her friends, and her BF. I would feel incredibly guilty for ruining their night. As I right this... I'm not sure how I feel about Lauren. It's not her job to tell me these things about my wife, but she did introduce us, and she knew my false interpretation of my wife. They are best friends, so her loyalty would be with my STBXW, opposed to me, but now that I think of it... I don't think I continue being friends with her.
I digress. As the night ended, and we're all going our separate ways, I used that opportunity to question my wife. Not in a pressing manner, but as a "happy" drunk inquiring.
My wife is out of it, mentally, and loose lipped. She was the majority of the night. I bring up the stories, but at a surface level. After keeping the conversation light and fun, I ask her about her body count as casually as possible considering the context. I didn't have to yank it out of her, and to keep it short, she didn't give or know the exact number, but she admitted the number was more than 100.
When the uber arrived, she passed out on the way home. I made sure she got home through the door, settled, and booked an uber to my brother house which is only 30 minutes from us.
My brother was babysitting our daughter for the night. He has a one of those doors that doesn't require a physical key, but a numeric pass code to unlock the door.
Prior to showing up, I texted him letting him know I'm passing out on his couch. I'm welcomed almost anytime, but the heads up text was a safety precaution. It was late, and we love our guns here in Texas.
In the morning, fighting a massive hangover, I caught my brother up to speed. He had two things to say.
The first is that she strategically lied, and manipulated me to alter my perception of her in-order to gain an outcome in her favor. This was a conclusion that I came to on my own, just not as well layed out as he presented it.
The second thing he said, I only partially thought of. He brought it to my attention that if she's that calculated and manipulative, what else is she lying about? Again I came up with that thought as well. This is why I no longer consider her trustworthy, but what he said next didn't cross my mind. He told me, that being said, he highly encourages me to get a DNA test for my daughter, since my wife is willing to lie about fundamental concepts, and her word can't be taken at face value.
In that moment, I felt sick. Well sicker. With that thought, and the amount of alcohol I had the night before, I literally threw up all over his floor.
To speed this story up, I took my daughter home, and confronted my wife. She confessed to lying about her body count, apologized profusely, and layed out the water works. I expressed anger, and hurt, but I haven't mentioned divorce or a parternity test.
Divorce will inevitable happen. I'm planning to begin searching for a lawyer this upcoming Monday, and to schedule a meeting asap. I'll also get a paternity for my daughter to verify if she's indeed mine asap. I haven't relayed any of this to my STBXW.
The way I see it, the smartest move is to contact a lawyer first, find out the results of the paternity test, and follow what my lawyer says as we wait for and receive the results of the test.
I have no idea how long either of this will take. I'm no law expert. I've never been divorced, nor do I have anyone close to that has been divorced. I'm going to stay in my lane, and be patient for my lawyer advice, and to get the paternity results as that will play a huge role on future involvement for when the divorce is initiated, and finalized.
This is why I'm asking am I wrong. I've got some feedback on this but this is what I want to highlight:
Body count aside, I can't stop thinking about the concept of the lie. That's what bothers me the most. There's no excuse, regardless of fear or reasoning to go out of one's way to intentionally manipulate them/the truth, in-order to give false representation for an outcome that suits one best. What she has shown me is that she can't be trusted. Her word means nothing. That's the primary reason (although body count is relvant to me) for initiating the divorce.
I'm asking, am I wrong for this?
Update: https://www.reddit.com/amiwrong/s/8xURQWa2bp
submitted by Food_Gym_RealEstate to amiwrong [link] [comments]
Up until this past weekend, we've had a great relationship. As-in, I didn't have any major complaints. Small things here and there, but any conflict we've had, we've always been able to have a calm discussion and work out our issues.
I want to clarify that that I never expected to date/marry a virgin considering the condition of the dating market, nor do I have a specific number in mind for a dealbreaker. That being said, in the early stages of dating, she brought up the topic of body count. I'm not saying that I wouldn't eventually have asked, but I never pressed her for that info.
She willingly told me her body count was 12. Much lower than I expected. She's an attractive woman with a high sex drive, but a high sex drive doesn't mean sleeping around. I didn't question or emphasis it. I take most people at their word, and let time shed light on lies. Looking back, that was a mistake.
Anyway, my STBXW best friend, lets call her Lauren is a former colleague of mine. Lauren was the one who introduced me to my wife. At the time, we were all in the Healthcare field, and all 3 of us were Nurse Practitioners. Currently, only STBXW has the same job title.
Lauren hit a major milestone, recently, and landed her dream job. Or more accurately put, Lauren saved up enough money to realistically go into buisness for herself in a field completely unrelated to Healthcare. Friday, we all went out for drinks to celebrate and support Lauren (amongst a handful of other people).
This part is very important, my STBXW and I do not drink. We're not sober but we both had a crazy drinking phase in college, and we're over alcohol. We're both are also educated health nuts. We eat clean, workout regularly, and it's hard for us to not see what alcohol really is, which is poison.
Friday would be the first time either of us even remotely got tipsy together, let alone drunk. It's not that we won't drink, it's just isn't appealing. We'll drink on special occasions, and that's not a gurantee. For the duration of the relationship ,the handful of times we have had alcoholic drinks, it was separately and far and few in-between. It was planned that way, but we primarily have different friend groups.
This celebration, we said screw it and let the drinks flow. It's abundantly obvious that our alcohol tolerance no longer exist. We're getting toasted, Lauren is getting toasted, and so is everyone else in the group. But it's a good time. We're not hurting anyway, and we're having fun.
Lauren and STBXW get to talking about their crazy times in college. I failed to mention they met in college. I didn't hear every single detail, as the conversation was between them but I heard enough to know hookups were consistent, and not outliers. She had multiple group play experinces, and what made me really want to throw up is that my wife engaged in pay for play. If we're not sugar coating, then prostitution.
Listening to their stories, dots didn't need to be "connected" to come to the conclusion her number was way over 12.
Obviously, I'm in a bad mood (still am), but I continue to save face because I don't want to ruin Lauren celebration. The train of thought at the time was I like Lauren, her friends, and her BF. I would feel incredibly guilty for ruining their night. As I right this... I'm not sure how I feel about Lauren. It's not her job to tell me these things about my wife, but she did introduce us, and she knew my false interpretation of my wife. They are best friends, so her loyalty would be with my STBXW, opposed to me, but now that I think of it... I don't think I continue being friends with her.
I digress. As the night ended, and we're all going our separate ways, I used that opportunity to question my wife. Not in a pressing manner, but as a "happy" drunk inquiring.
My wife is out of it, mentally, and loose lipped. She was the majority of the night. I bring up the stories, but at a surface level. After keeping the conversation light and fun, I ask her about her body count as casually as possible considering the context. I didn't have to yank it out of her, and to keep it short, she didn't give or know the exact number, but she admitted the number was more than 100.
When the uber arrived, she passed out on the way home. I made sure she got home through the door, settled, and booked an uber to my brother house which is only 30 minutes from us.
My brother was babysitting our daughter for the night. He has a one of those doors that doesn't require a physical key, but a numeric pass code to unlock the door.
Prior to showing up, I texted him letting him know I'm passing out on his couch. I'm welcomed almost anytime, but the heads up text was a safety precaution. It was late, and we love our guns here in Texas.
In the morning, fighting a massive hangover, I caught my brother up to speed. He had two things to say.
The first is that she strategically lied, and manipulated me to alter my perception of her in-order to gain an outcome in her favor. This was a conclusion that I came to on my own, just not as well layed out as he presented it.
The second thing he said, I only partially thought of. He brought it to my attention that if she's that calculated and manipulative, what else is she lying about? Again I came up with that thought as well. This is why I no longer consider her trustworthy, but what he said next didn't cross my mind. He told me, that being said, he highly encourages me to get a DNA test for my daughter, since my wife is willing to lie about fundamental concepts, and her word can't be taken at face value.
In that moment, I felt sick. Well sicker. With that thought, and the amount of alcohol I had the night before, I literally threw up all over his floor.
To speed this story up, I took my daughter home, and confronted my wife. She confessed to lying about her body count, apologized profusely, and layed out the water works. I expressed anger, and hurt, but I haven't mentioned divorce or a parternity test.
Divorce will inevitable happen. I'm planning to begin searching for a lawyer this upcoming Monday, and to schedule a meeting asap. I'll also get a paternity for my daughter to verify if she's indeed mine asap. I haven't relayed any of this to my STBXW.
The way I see it, the smartest move is to contact a lawyer first, find out the results of the paternity test, and follow what my lawyer says as we wait for and receive the results of the test.
I have no idea how long either of this will take. I'm no law expert. I've never been divorced, nor do I have anyone close to that has been divorced. I'm going to stay in my lane, and be patient for my lawyer advice, and to get the paternity results as that will play a huge role on future involvement for when the divorce is initiated, and finalized.
This is why I'm asking am I wrong. I've got some feedback on this but this is what I want to highlight:
Body count aside, I can't stop thinking about the concept of the lie. That's what bothers me the most. There's no excuse, regardless of fear or reasoning to go out of one's way to intentionally manipulate them/the truth, in-order to give false representation for an outcome that suits one best. What she has shown me is that she can't be trusted. Her word means nothing. That's the primary reason (although body count is relvant to me) for initiating the divorce.
I'm asking, am I wrong for this?
Update: https://www.reddit.com/amiwrong/s/8xURQWa2bp
2024.04.22 03:54 Ready-Bat-8824 March 2024 Hilaria’s IG Recap = 2 Posts or Is Mami Too Busy Talking to Kyle Richards to Post?
 | I’m sorry for not posting our recap as usual! Muchas grathias to the pepinos who checked in to see if I had been silenced or driven nuts by the Baldwins – neither one, life just got in the way right when I would usually make time to write. I need a Leonela/Leonetta, dammit! Nevertheless, The Baldwinian Fuckery* was on full display in March and we’re here for it! submitted by Ready-Bat-8824 to HilariaBaldwin [link] [comments] *coined by u/Funky_MFer Hillary’s IG Stats
|
2024.04.22 01:10 Food_Gym_RealEstate AITAH for initiating divorce when I found out my wife lied about her body count, and learned it's over 100?
I (32 M) have been with my soon to be ex wife (32 F) for 5 years (married for 2). We also have a 1 year old daughter.
Up until this past weekend, we've had a great relationship. As-in, I didn't have any major complaints. Small things here and there, but any conflict we've had, we've always been able to have a calm discussion and work out our issues.
I want to clarify that that I never expected to date/marry a virgin considering the condition of the dating market, nor do I have a specific number in mind for a dealbreaker. That being said, in the early stages of dating, she brought up the topic of body count. I'm not saying that I wouldn't eventually have asked, but I never pressed her for that info.
She willingly told me her body count was 12. Much lower than I expected. She's an attractive woman with a high sex drive, but a high sex drive doesn't mean sleeping around. I didn't question or emphasis it. I take most people at their word, and let time shed light on lies. Looking back, that was a mistake.
Anyway, my STBXW best friend, lets call her Lauren is a former colleague of mine. Lauren was the one who introduced me to my wife. At the time, we were all in the Healthcare field, and all 3 of us were Nurse Practitioners. Currently, only STBXW has the same job title.
Lauren hit a major milestone, recently, and landed her dream job. Or more accurately put, Lauren saved up enough money to realistically go into buisness for herself in a field completely unrelated to Healthcare. Friday, we all went out for drinks to celebrate and support Lauren (amongst a handful of other people).
This part is very important, my STBXW and I do not drink. We're not sober but we both had a crazy drinking phase in college, and we're over alcohol. We're both are also educated health nuts. We eat clean, workout regularly, and it's hard for us to not see what alcohol really is, which is poison.
Friday would be the first time either of us even remotely got tipsy together, let alone drunk. It's not that we won't drink, it's just isn't appealing. We'll drink on special occasions, and that's not a gurantee. For the duration of the relationship ,the handful of times we have had alcoholic drinks, it was separately and far and few in-between. It was planned that way, but we primarily have different friend groups.
This celebration, we said screw it and let the drinks flow. It's abundantly obvious that our alcohol tolerance no longer exist. We're getting toasted, Lauren is getting toasted, and so is everyone else in the group. But it's a good time. We're not hurting anyway, and we're having fun.
Lauren and STBXW get to talking about their crazy times in college. I failed to mention they met in college. I didn't hear every single detail, as the conversation was between them but I heard enough to know hookups were consistent, and not outliers. She had multiple group play experinces, and what made me really want to throw up is that my wife engaged in pay for play. If we're not sugar coating, then prostitution.
Listening to their stories, dots didn't need to be "connected" to come to the conclusion her number was way over 12.
Obviously, I'm in a bad mood (still am), but I continue to save face because I don't want to ruin Lauren celebration. The train of thought at the time was I like Lauren, her friends, and her BF. I would feel incredibly guilty for ruining their night. As I right this... I'm not sure how I feel about Lauren. It's not her job to tell me these things about my wife, but she did introduce us, and she knew my false interpretation of my wife. They are best friends, so her loyalty would be with my STBXW, opposed to me, but now that I think of it... I don't think I continue being friends with her.
I digress. As the night ended, and we're all going our separate ways, I used that opportunity to question my wife. Not in a pressing manner, but as a "happy" drunk inquiring.
My wife is out of it, mentally, and loose lipped. She was the majority of the night. I bring up the stories, but at a surface level. After keeping the conversation light and fun, I ask her about her body count as casually as possible considering the context. I didn't have to yank it out of her, and to keep it short, she didn't give or know the exact number, but she admitted the number was more than 100.
When the uber arrived, she passed out on the way home. I made sure she got home through the door, settled, and booked an uber to my brother house which is only 30 minutes from us.
My brother was babysitting our daughter for the night. He has a one of those doors that doesn't require a physical key, but a numeric pass code to unlock the door.
Prior to showing up, I texted him letting him know I'm passing out on his couch. I'm welcomed almost anytime, but the heads up text was a safety precaution. It was late, and we love our guns here in Texas.
In the morning, fighting a massive hangover, I caught my brother up to speed. He had two things to say.
The first is that she strategically lied, and manipulated me to alter my perception of her in-order to gain an outcome in her favor. This was a conclusion that I came to on my own, just not as well layed out as he presented it.
The second thing he said, I only partially thought of. He brought it to my attention that if she's that calculated and manipulative, what else is she lying about? Again I came up with that thought as well. This is why I no longer consider her trustworthy, but what he said next didn't cross my mind. He told me, that being said, he highly encourages me to get a DNA test for my daughter, since my wife is willing to lie about fundamental concepts, and her word can't be taken at face value.
In that moment, I felt sick. Well sicker. With that thought, and the amount of alcohol I had the night before, I literally threw up all over his floor.
To speed this story up, I took my daughter home, and confronted my wife. She confessed to lying about her body count, apologized profusely, and layed out the water works. I expressed anger, and hurt, but I haven't mentioned divorce or a parternity test.
Divorce will inevitable happen. I'm planning to begin searching for a lawyer this upcoming Monday, and to schedule a meeting asap. I'll also get a paternity for my daughter to verify if she's indeed mine asap. I haven't relayed any of this to my STBXW.
The way I see it, the smartest move is to contact a lawyer first, find out the results of the paternity test, and follow what my lawyer says as we wait for and receive the results of the test.
I have no idea how long either of this will take. I'm no law expert. I've never been divorced, nor do I have anyone close to that has been divorced. I'm going to stay in my lane, and be patient for my lawyer advice, and to get the paternity results as that will play a huge role on future involvement for when the divorce is initiated, and finalized.
I talked to my mother, today, about this and she's adamantly against my plan. She won't interfere, but she is biased. My daughter is her only grandchild. Postive or negative results, my mom will see her as her grandchild, but she knows that I don't share that same viewpoint. She didn't directly call me an asshole, but she did everything but that.
So I'm asking reddit, am I the asshole for planning to divorce my wife when I found I she lied about her body count and slept with over 100 men?
Update: https://www.reddit.com/AITAH/s/XuREu9XaGS
submitted by Food_Gym_RealEstate to AITAH [link] [comments]
Up until this past weekend, we've had a great relationship. As-in, I didn't have any major complaints. Small things here and there, but any conflict we've had, we've always been able to have a calm discussion and work out our issues.
I want to clarify that that I never expected to date/marry a virgin considering the condition of the dating market, nor do I have a specific number in mind for a dealbreaker. That being said, in the early stages of dating, she brought up the topic of body count. I'm not saying that I wouldn't eventually have asked, but I never pressed her for that info.
She willingly told me her body count was 12. Much lower than I expected. She's an attractive woman with a high sex drive, but a high sex drive doesn't mean sleeping around. I didn't question or emphasis it. I take most people at their word, and let time shed light on lies. Looking back, that was a mistake.
Anyway, my STBXW best friend, lets call her Lauren is a former colleague of mine. Lauren was the one who introduced me to my wife. At the time, we were all in the Healthcare field, and all 3 of us were Nurse Practitioners. Currently, only STBXW has the same job title.
Lauren hit a major milestone, recently, and landed her dream job. Or more accurately put, Lauren saved up enough money to realistically go into buisness for herself in a field completely unrelated to Healthcare. Friday, we all went out for drinks to celebrate and support Lauren (amongst a handful of other people).
This part is very important, my STBXW and I do not drink. We're not sober but we both had a crazy drinking phase in college, and we're over alcohol. We're both are also educated health nuts. We eat clean, workout regularly, and it's hard for us to not see what alcohol really is, which is poison.
Friday would be the first time either of us even remotely got tipsy together, let alone drunk. It's not that we won't drink, it's just isn't appealing. We'll drink on special occasions, and that's not a gurantee. For the duration of the relationship ,the handful of times we have had alcoholic drinks, it was separately and far and few in-between. It was planned that way, but we primarily have different friend groups.
This celebration, we said screw it and let the drinks flow. It's abundantly obvious that our alcohol tolerance no longer exist. We're getting toasted, Lauren is getting toasted, and so is everyone else in the group. But it's a good time. We're not hurting anyway, and we're having fun.
Lauren and STBXW get to talking about their crazy times in college. I failed to mention they met in college. I didn't hear every single detail, as the conversation was between them but I heard enough to know hookups were consistent, and not outliers. She had multiple group play experinces, and what made me really want to throw up is that my wife engaged in pay for play. If we're not sugar coating, then prostitution.
Listening to their stories, dots didn't need to be "connected" to come to the conclusion her number was way over 12.
Obviously, I'm in a bad mood (still am), but I continue to save face because I don't want to ruin Lauren celebration. The train of thought at the time was I like Lauren, her friends, and her BF. I would feel incredibly guilty for ruining their night. As I right this... I'm not sure how I feel about Lauren. It's not her job to tell me these things about my wife, but she did introduce us, and she knew my false interpretation of my wife. They are best friends, so her loyalty would be with my STBXW, opposed to me, but now that I think of it... I don't think I continue being friends with her.
I digress. As the night ended, and we're all going our separate ways, I used that opportunity to question my wife. Not in a pressing manner, but as a "happy" drunk inquiring.
My wife is out of it, mentally, and loose lipped. She was the majority of the night. I bring up the stories, but at a surface level. After keeping the conversation light and fun, I ask her about her body count as casually as possible considering the context. I didn't have to yank it out of her, and to keep it short, she didn't give or know the exact number, but she admitted the number was more than 100.
When the uber arrived, she passed out on the way home. I made sure she got home through the door, settled, and booked an uber to my brother house which is only 30 minutes from us.
My brother was babysitting our daughter for the night. He has a one of those doors that doesn't require a physical key, but a numeric pass code to unlock the door.
Prior to showing up, I texted him letting him know I'm passing out on his couch. I'm welcomed almost anytime, but the heads up text was a safety precaution. It was late, and we love our guns here in Texas.
In the morning, fighting a massive hangover, I caught my brother up to speed. He had two things to say.
The first is that she strategically lied, and manipulated me to alter my perception of her in-order to gain an outcome in her favor. This was a conclusion that I came to on my own, just not as well layed out as he presented it.
The second thing he said, I only partially thought of. He brought it to my attention that if she's that calculated and manipulative, what else is she lying about? Again I came up with that thought as well. This is why I no longer consider her trustworthy, but what he said next didn't cross my mind. He told me, that being said, he highly encourages me to get a DNA test for my daughter, since my wife is willing to lie about fundamental concepts, and her word can't be taken at face value.
In that moment, I felt sick. Well sicker. With that thought, and the amount of alcohol I had the night before, I literally threw up all over his floor.
To speed this story up, I took my daughter home, and confronted my wife. She confessed to lying about her body count, apologized profusely, and layed out the water works. I expressed anger, and hurt, but I haven't mentioned divorce or a parternity test.
Divorce will inevitable happen. I'm planning to begin searching for a lawyer this upcoming Monday, and to schedule a meeting asap. I'll also get a paternity for my daughter to verify if she's indeed mine asap. I haven't relayed any of this to my STBXW.
The way I see it, the smartest move is to contact a lawyer first, find out the results of the paternity test, and follow what my lawyer says as we wait for and receive the results of the test.
I have no idea how long either of this will take. I'm no law expert. I've never been divorced, nor do I have anyone close to that has been divorced. I'm going to stay in my lane, and be patient for my lawyer advice, and to get the paternity results as that will play a huge role on future involvement for when the divorce is initiated, and finalized.
I talked to my mother, today, about this and she's adamantly against my plan. She won't interfere, but she is biased. My daughter is her only grandchild. Postive or negative results, my mom will see her as her grandchild, but she knows that I don't share that same viewpoint. She didn't directly call me an asshole, but she did everything but that.
So I'm asking reddit, am I the asshole for planning to divorce my wife when I found I she lied about her body count and slept with over 100 men?
Update: https://www.reddit.com/AITAH/s/XuREu9XaGS
2024.04.21 15:51 grinning-epitaph We're gonna need a bigger boat. (A tale of that ONE Aunt.)
(For the sake of protecting identities, I will continue with the names prior mentioned in any of my other stories.)
I think it is safe to say that every family has that one Aunt that literally is off the charts in some shape form or fashion. My Aunt Rhonda (50-ish F) happened to have found love later in life, the man (my now Uncle George 50M) is actually a really good guy but we all warned him at the get-go he was gonna need a bigger boat. Not only was he coming into my Mom's side of the family, but he was marrying that one Aunt everyone warns everyone about.
The Aunt that always makes conversations about herself. The Aunt that makes up excuses why she can't come to birthday parties or family get togethers because she is sick but then you see her visiting in-laws on FB but exclaims she is the most active Aunt in the world. The Aunt that has all the answers and stirs the hornets nest on holidays then leaves quickly. The Aunt that starts her apologies by: "I am sorry you took it that way." The one Aunt that calls you on the phone and only talks about herself for an hour and a half and never once asks how you or your kids or family are doing. The Aunt that steps over boundaries and while she has no kids of her own thinks she has reared children because she had time with nieces and nephews.
I could go on, no really I could.
I love the woman and actually do have some pretty good memories with her but with her age has come a complete skill set of narcissistic and rather selfish behaviors, toxic even? Toxicity all depends on how easy it is to escape said situations, and the lethality is in the dose right? Exposure to toxicity is what causes the damage. Thankfully, I have managed to keep a great distance for several reasons.
On we go!
She and her fiance planned for an October wedding, we all dreaded it because we knew as soon as she got engaged the constant barrages of wedding planning posts came with the transformation from (just the ONE Aunt title) to mega-bitch Bridezilla. Now obviously I believe the brides should have the nice wedding they want and can afford with absolutely no question, as long as it doesn't put them in debt OR their families for that matter. I even mentioned to her to spare on some of the wedding stuff so that she and her husband could have a great honeymoon, but that flew in one ear and right out the other.
My Mother, Breanna (60F) had undergone massive heart surgery and was very sickly. Her cares revolved mainly around what little time she could possibly have left and gave zero cares about what her sister (my Aunt) did with, for or when for this wedding, So it started a few months before the big day when she called my Mother telling her she was taking her clothes shopping to get her something nice to wear for her big day. My Mother, immediately declined and told her she wouldn't play dress up for her wedding and if it was that big of a deal and she didn't like the clothing she already owned she simply wouldn't come.
Apparently, that did not go over well but my Aunt let it go because she knew she wouldn't win that fight. My Mother and her sisters all can be incredibly stubborn but insisting something like that on a person who was sickly and had just undergone a life saving procedure was utterly ridiculous.
None the less. . .
My sister Kirsten (33F) was asked to be a bridesmaid, and she agreed with glee obviously. I was not asked for whatever reason and wasn't really bothered by it at all. I have a special needs son and would have my hands full watching him on the big day so I had no interest. OR should I say I wasn't offended until she called me one evening after I was bathing my son who was about two or so at the time, so I was pretty tired: and proceeded to ask me to be a wedding planner and coordinator for absolutely FREE. She did not offer to pay me. She did not offer anything other than giving me the title of coordinator and she said she was always so "astonished at how well I put holidays together so I would be perfect for it!"
I completely and one-hundred percent declined. I was dumbfounded, and learned soon enough it wasn't the only time she would try to pull a quick one to save herself some money. I also knew if I had accepted a damn job on that caliber I would be killing myself for HER for the next four months and my special needs child wouldn't have me nearly as much as he required so no, I refused.
My son's third birthday rolled around, one month before my Aunt Rhonda's wedding. I planned a giant bday party for him with the monster theme and went above and beyond to make his day special. There ended up being a lot of people there to celebrate and the kids had a great time with the games and the prizes. Aunt Rhonda showed up and honestly for the most part was agreeable up until just about the end of the party. Now mind you I had spent the majority of that same week making a huge baby shower wreath for Kirsten's best friend and it took a lot out of me as well, so my Aunt wasn't privy to everything I had been doing on top of the birthday party for my son.
I had finally had a moment to sit down and eat something and just relax while all the kids played. My Mother Breanna, my husband's mother (64F) Shay and a couple other family members were at the kitchen table just chatting and in comes Aunt Rhonda. She just smiled and shook her head complimenting my efforts for my son's bday party and then followed up IMMEDIATELY WITH----"You should come over every week until my wedding and help me make paper flower center pieces. I really need the help."
Honestly I didn't even have the energy in the moment to respond the way I wanted to but before I could even get a word out my MIL Shay immediately turns around to look at Aunt Rhonda and says: "I think she has done PLENTY and I think we all can agree that Sedona needs a break." My Aunt now realizing she approached the bee hive a little too sure of getting her way backed off nodding and agreeing as if she knew how hard I had been working to take care of my own family.
I think this conversation only came up one other time and my sister Kirsten told me flat out no one in her wedding party was helping her at all. She was doing everything on her own and I was like: "Well maybe she should have asked me to be in the wedding party because it sounds like she chose a bunch of duds."
Her new daughter in law wouldn't perform a toast. None of them but my sister paid for their dresses. None of them helped her with the flowers or decor. Yet somehow I was the one she was preening for help.
W.T.F
While really it was neither here nor there for me the audacity of the woman continued to amaze me. My sister said she ended up blowing her stack on her because the night before the wedding she was beyond mega bitch and couldn't take it for another moment. Personally I wouldn't want a wedding party if none of them would agree to being helpful or at least interested in playing the role. A part of me felt sorry for the woman but the other part of me knew she only wanted a giant wedding for show. It became ultimately about how beautiful she was and having everything perfect for HER big day, never mind the love she felt for the man of her dreams or any of the important stuff.
Her soon to be in-laws all got into a car wreck three nights before the wedding. Her husband had to wear walking casts on both his legs the day of the wedding so all the pictures as she claimed were: "ruined." Her sister in law was in a back brace and daughter in law was scratched and beat up. Karma has it's way of getting back at you for treating the people that love you like shit. I have TONS of stories about Aunt Rhonda but this was just the starting point!
The audacity.
submitted by grinning-epitaph to u/grinning-epitaph [link] [comments]
I think it is safe to say that every family has that one Aunt that literally is off the charts in some shape form or fashion. My Aunt Rhonda (50-ish F) happened to have found love later in life, the man (my now Uncle George 50M) is actually a really good guy but we all warned him at the get-go he was gonna need a bigger boat. Not only was he coming into my Mom's side of the family, but he was marrying that one Aunt everyone warns everyone about.
The Aunt that always makes conversations about herself. The Aunt that makes up excuses why she can't come to birthday parties or family get togethers because she is sick but then you see her visiting in-laws on FB but exclaims she is the most active Aunt in the world. The Aunt that has all the answers and stirs the hornets nest on holidays then leaves quickly. The Aunt that starts her apologies by: "I am sorry you took it that way." The one Aunt that calls you on the phone and only talks about herself for an hour and a half and never once asks how you or your kids or family are doing. The Aunt that steps over boundaries and while she has no kids of her own thinks she has reared children because she had time with nieces and nephews.
I could go on, no really I could.
I love the woman and actually do have some pretty good memories with her but with her age has come a complete skill set of narcissistic and rather selfish behaviors, toxic even? Toxicity all depends on how easy it is to escape said situations, and the lethality is in the dose right? Exposure to toxicity is what causes the damage. Thankfully, I have managed to keep a great distance for several reasons.
On we go!
She and her fiance planned for an October wedding, we all dreaded it because we knew as soon as she got engaged the constant barrages of wedding planning posts came with the transformation from (just the ONE Aunt title) to mega-bitch Bridezilla. Now obviously I believe the brides should have the nice wedding they want and can afford with absolutely no question, as long as it doesn't put them in debt OR their families for that matter. I even mentioned to her to spare on some of the wedding stuff so that she and her husband could have a great honeymoon, but that flew in one ear and right out the other.
My Mother, Breanna (60F) had undergone massive heart surgery and was very sickly. Her cares revolved mainly around what little time she could possibly have left and gave zero cares about what her sister (my Aunt) did with, for or when for this wedding, So it started a few months before the big day when she called my Mother telling her she was taking her clothes shopping to get her something nice to wear for her big day. My Mother, immediately declined and told her she wouldn't play dress up for her wedding and if it was that big of a deal and she didn't like the clothing she already owned she simply wouldn't come.
Apparently, that did not go over well but my Aunt let it go because she knew she wouldn't win that fight. My Mother and her sisters all can be incredibly stubborn but insisting something like that on a person who was sickly and had just undergone a life saving procedure was utterly ridiculous.
None the less. . .
My sister Kirsten (33F) was asked to be a bridesmaid, and she agreed with glee obviously. I was not asked for whatever reason and wasn't really bothered by it at all. I have a special needs son and would have my hands full watching him on the big day so I had no interest. OR should I say I wasn't offended until she called me one evening after I was bathing my son who was about two or so at the time, so I was pretty tired: and proceeded to ask me to be a wedding planner and coordinator for absolutely FREE. She did not offer to pay me. She did not offer anything other than giving me the title of coordinator and she said she was always so "astonished at how well I put holidays together so I would be perfect for it!"
I completely and one-hundred percent declined. I was dumbfounded, and learned soon enough it wasn't the only time she would try to pull a quick one to save herself some money. I also knew if I had accepted a damn job on that caliber I would be killing myself for HER for the next four months and my special needs child wouldn't have me nearly as much as he required so no, I refused.
My son's third birthday rolled around, one month before my Aunt Rhonda's wedding. I planned a giant bday party for him with the monster theme and went above and beyond to make his day special. There ended up being a lot of people there to celebrate and the kids had a great time with the games and the prizes. Aunt Rhonda showed up and honestly for the most part was agreeable up until just about the end of the party. Now mind you I had spent the majority of that same week making a huge baby shower wreath for Kirsten's best friend and it took a lot out of me as well, so my Aunt wasn't privy to everything I had been doing on top of the birthday party for my son.
I had finally had a moment to sit down and eat something and just relax while all the kids played. My Mother Breanna, my husband's mother (64F) Shay and a couple other family members were at the kitchen table just chatting and in comes Aunt Rhonda. She just smiled and shook her head complimenting my efforts for my son's bday party and then followed up IMMEDIATELY WITH----"You should come over every week until my wedding and help me make paper flower center pieces. I really need the help."
Honestly I didn't even have the energy in the moment to respond the way I wanted to but before I could even get a word out my MIL Shay immediately turns around to look at Aunt Rhonda and says: "I think she has done PLENTY and I think we all can agree that Sedona needs a break." My Aunt now realizing she approached the bee hive a little too sure of getting her way backed off nodding and agreeing as if she knew how hard I had been working to take care of my own family.
I think this conversation only came up one other time and my sister Kirsten told me flat out no one in her wedding party was helping her at all. She was doing everything on her own and I was like: "Well maybe she should have asked me to be in the wedding party because it sounds like she chose a bunch of duds."
Her new daughter in law wouldn't perform a toast. None of them but my sister paid for their dresses. None of them helped her with the flowers or decor. Yet somehow I was the one she was preening for help.
W.T.F
While really it was neither here nor there for me the audacity of the woman continued to amaze me. My sister said she ended up blowing her stack on her because the night before the wedding she was beyond mega bitch and couldn't take it for another moment. Personally I wouldn't want a wedding party if none of them would agree to being helpful or at least interested in playing the role. A part of me felt sorry for the woman but the other part of me knew she only wanted a giant wedding for show. It became ultimately about how beautiful she was and having everything perfect for HER big day, never mind the love she felt for the man of her dreams or any of the important stuff.
Her soon to be in-laws all got into a car wreck three nights before the wedding. Her husband had to wear walking casts on both his legs the day of the wedding so all the pictures as she claimed were: "ruined." Her sister in law was in a back brace and daughter in law was scratched and beat up. Karma has it's way of getting back at you for treating the people that love you like shit. I have TONS of stories about Aunt Rhonda but this was just the starting point!
The audacity.
2024.04.18 02:07 Hey648934 What happened to Bennie after the series ended? (According to ChatGPT)
Bennie Fazio, a seasoned member of the DiMeo crime family, found himself in an unexpected position after the tumultuous events that unfolded in the final moments of The Sopranos. The abrupt cut to black left viewers speculating about Tony Soprano’s fate, but for Bennie, life continued beyond that enigmatic diner scene.
In the aftermath of Tony’s demise, the New Jersey underworld underwent significant shifts. The power dynamics shifted, alliances were tested, and old loyalties were strained. Bennie, always a pragmatic survivor, navigated these treacherous waters with cunning and adaptability.
Here’s what happened to Bennie after the series ended:
Taking the Reins: With Tony gone, the DiMeo family needed a new leader. Bennie, despite his low-key demeanor, stepped up. His reputation as a reliable and level-headed associate worked in his favor. He didn’t seek the spotlight, but he knew how to keep things running smoothly. As acting boss, he balanced diplomacy with ruthlessness, ensuring the family’s survival.
Business Ventures: Bennie expanded the family’s interests beyond traditional mob activities. He invested in legitimate businesses—restaurants, construction, and real estate. His connections allowed him to operate discreetly, avoiding unnecessary attention from law enforcement. The esplanade construction site became a hub for both legal and illicit dealings. Navigating Rivalries: The New York families eyed the power vacuum in New Jersey. Bennie negotiated alliances and rivalries, playing a delicate game. He maintained a cautious relationship with the Lupertazzi family, neither fully trusting nor openly opposing them. His motto: “Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.”
Family Ties: Bennie’s loyalty extended beyond the mob. He cared for his aging mother, ensuring her comfort and safety. His daughter, inspired by Meadow Soprano’s activism, pursued law school. Bennie secretly hoped she’d choose a different path, but he respected her independence. The Ghost of Tony: Tony’s memory haunted Bennie. He wondered if Tony’s death was orchestrated by someone within their own ranks. The diner scene replayed in his mind—the bell ringing, the tension, the sudden darkness. Bennie vowed to uncover the truth, even if it meant digging into dangerous secrets.
The Final Meeting: At a dimly lit bar in New York, Bennie met with an old associate—one who had survived the Soprano era. They reminisced about the past, shared stories of lost friends, and toasted to survival. The associate leaned in and whispered, “Tony’s ghost still walks these streets.” Bennie nodded, knowing that the specter of the Soprano legacy would forever linger.
And so, Bennie Fazio carved his own path in the post-Tony era. He wasn’t a flashy boss, but he was effective—a silent force in the shadows, ensuring that the DiMeo family endured. As the city skyline glimmered with secrets, Bennie remained vigilant, ready to protect what was left of the old ways.
submitted by Hey648934 to thesopranos [link] [comments]
In the aftermath of Tony’s demise, the New Jersey underworld underwent significant shifts. The power dynamics shifted, alliances were tested, and old loyalties were strained. Bennie, always a pragmatic survivor, navigated these treacherous waters with cunning and adaptability.
Here’s what happened to Bennie after the series ended:
Taking the Reins: With Tony gone, the DiMeo family needed a new leader. Bennie, despite his low-key demeanor, stepped up. His reputation as a reliable and level-headed associate worked in his favor. He didn’t seek the spotlight, but he knew how to keep things running smoothly. As acting boss, he balanced diplomacy with ruthlessness, ensuring the family’s survival.
Business Ventures: Bennie expanded the family’s interests beyond traditional mob activities. He invested in legitimate businesses—restaurants, construction, and real estate. His connections allowed him to operate discreetly, avoiding unnecessary attention from law enforcement. The esplanade construction site became a hub for both legal and illicit dealings. Navigating Rivalries: The New York families eyed the power vacuum in New Jersey. Bennie negotiated alliances and rivalries, playing a delicate game. He maintained a cautious relationship with the Lupertazzi family, neither fully trusting nor openly opposing them. His motto: “Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.”
Family Ties: Bennie’s loyalty extended beyond the mob. He cared for his aging mother, ensuring her comfort and safety. His daughter, inspired by Meadow Soprano’s activism, pursued law school. Bennie secretly hoped she’d choose a different path, but he respected her independence. The Ghost of Tony: Tony’s memory haunted Bennie. He wondered if Tony’s death was orchestrated by someone within their own ranks. The diner scene replayed in his mind—the bell ringing, the tension, the sudden darkness. Bennie vowed to uncover the truth, even if it meant digging into dangerous secrets.
The Final Meeting: At a dimly lit bar in New York, Bennie met with an old associate—one who had survived the Soprano era. They reminisced about the past, shared stories of lost friends, and toasted to survival. The associate leaned in and whispered, “Tony’s ghost still walks these streets.” Bennie nodded, knowing that the specter of the Soprano legacy would forever linger.
And so, Bennie Fazio carved his own path in the post-Tony era. He wasn’t a flashy boss, but he was effective—a silent force in the shadows, ensuring that the DiMeo family endured. As the city skyline glimmered with secrets, Bennie remained vigilant, ready to protect what was left of the old ways.
2024.04.16 19:24 marichat-ladrien The Chapter About Our Subreddit in No Scrap Left Behind
Chapter 8: The No Scrap Left Behind Community
It had been two years since my food-waste journey began. By now, I had learned so much and felt ready to share what I knew.
The question was: how?
The typical paths to online stardom didn’t appeal to me. Under no circumstances did I want to make an Instagram account or a YouTube channel where I just talked and talked and people left comments. I didn’t want to spend time taking photos and videos and editing blog articles just so people could see them once and forget about them.
Instead, I wanted a community: a living, breathing thing built by others. A place where people could share their ideas and successes with each other instead of just listening to me. That was my vision. Luckily, a new platform came into my life—Reddit—and it was exactly what I needed.
If you’re not familiar with Reddit, it’s a website made up of communities where people are only allowed to share a very specific type of content on each community. turtleswearingstuff is, as you can easily guess, a group (otherwise known as a subreddit) for posting pictures of turtles wearing stuff. A picture of a naked turtle, or a picture of a hatted cow, would be deleted by moderators for being off-topic. It was a perfect place for people to share videos, articles, pictures, questions, and ideas about food waste.
I created the subreddit, put up a few example posts with recipes and food hacks, and started letting people know about us. I posted in EatCheapandHealthy, ZeroWaste, LifeHacks, Environmentalism, and more. Posting in twenty-eight subreddits might have been overboard . . . but hey, I don’t like to do things only halfway.
A hundred followers joined in the first hour. That exceeded my expectations! Then an hour later, there were two hundred. Five hundred. I checked my phone all day long, amazed as the numbers jumped higher.
A member of the ZeroWaste community left this comment in my post: “I went to No Scrap Left Behind this morning and it was 200, and now it’s 700. What is happening? Why is this so big?”
The subreddit reached one thousand members in a single day. On the second day, it reached five thousand.
Soon, the forum was flooded with posts. They shared their success stories: turning sour milk into soda bread, stale donuts into French toast, and apple cores into syrup. Making broth was a rite of passage, and most of us tried Everything Cookies.
I had envisioned myself as being an adviser for others to turn to, but my food waste warriors, as I would call them, didn’t need my help. A woman posted asking what to do with leftover pickle juice even though it passed the Hungry Kid Test. Within four hours, she had dozens of suggestions like marinading chicken; brining fresh vegetables like celery and carrots; brining tofu; adding flavor to tuna salad, pasta salad, potato salad, egg salad, coleslaw, and homemade ranch; soaking potato slices before roasting them for chips; adding it to stew; using it in sourdough or rye bread; and, of course, “Just chug it.” Someone even suggested using it as “pickleback,” which is a shot of whiskey chased with a shot of pickle juice.
On the lifehacks forum, someone said this about us: “These people are intense. They’re saving stuff like canned fruit juice!”
In a short period of time, I became a moderator overseeing tens of thousands of members. It was my responsibility to build a culture around my subreddit and, frankly, to keep everyone in line. Some subreddits expect their members to be nice, like wholesomememes, while others are magnets for snarkiness.
I knew right away what the tone of this subreddit should be. A tweet inspired me, actually. It said, “I love how Pinterest is the only place on the internet where people get along. There’s not much to argue about cheesecake recipes.” The tweet spoke to so many people, it got tens of thousands of likes. Maybe I had a similar opportunity to create one of the few places online where people could get along.
Much like the cooks making cheesecake on Pinterest, the vast majority of members were enthusiastic and creative. But some people came in with their figurative fists raised, ready to argue. One user called me a “corporate shill” for “putting the blame of food waste entirely on individuals instead of looking critically at supply chain problems.” Before banning him, I pointed out that a subreddit about supply chains would have been much less popular.
In those early days, people argued about which scraps were safe for dogs. Vegans and vegetarians criticized meat eaters. A member was even criticized for keeping chickens because buying chickens supported the meat industry, even if they weren’t eaten. People argued about expiration dates, of course. If anyone posted unhealthy food, there would be the inevitable, “Just throw it out. You shouldn’t be eating that anyway.” A few were adamant about throwing away food made by Nestlé, as if an evil corporation would care that you threw away their product after buying it.
There was even an argument over the best way to remove egg yolks from the whites. I kid you not. One member insisted that the only way to do it was to separate a single yolk into a small bowl, then add it to the rest of the yolks because that way if you crack open a bad egg, it won’t spoil the rest of the batch. People went back and forth on this for a while and some feelings were hurt. Finally, a member wrote, “This is a weird thing to be so passionate about.” The whole thing reminded me of the egg in Gulliver’s Travels that satirized pointless arguments.
All these problems were easy to fix. Every subreddit gets to make its own rules, so I made these rules for mine: Be nice. No diet shaming. Don’t tell people when to throw away food.
The negativity cleared up. Even when things got ugly, I handled it light-heartedly. Once when two members were arguing over something silly, I wrote, “You two be nice or I’ll put you both on time-out.” Embarrassed, one of the users deleted all her comments in the argument. I could have deleted the comments myself, but this was better.
A culture of kindness built itself up. I found people apologizing for things they didn’t need to apologize for and then the other person apologizing for making them feel the need to apologize. It was like the Canada of Reddit.
I even had to depend on my food waste warriors every now and then. Once Adalyn was excited to make cupcakes all by herself and we were out of vegetable oil, so I used olive oil. This was not the kind of olive oil I had used in baking before. It had a strong flavor that tasted terrible in cupcakes and no one in my family would eat them. Olive oil cake is a thing, but for some reason, it didn’t work at all.
Desperate to save my daughter from disappointment, I made a post asking what to do. The other members pointed out that olive oil cake always has citrus because the two flavors work well together. We made orange frosting, and voilà! The cupcakes were so good that Adalyn proudly shared them with her aunts and uncles.
Our subreddit was a hub for resourcefulness and creativity. My proudest moment was when a member posted, “What part of food do you eat that most people toss?” The answers included kiwi and mango skin, apple core and seeds, the white part of the watermelon rind, watermelon seeds (roasted), strawberry tops, cilantro stems, potato skins, the cores of iceberg lettuce and cabbages, cauliflower leaves, and shrimp with the shell on.
It was also a good place to vent about waste. A user posted about needing to use twelve unsweet cantaloupes (I have no idea how he ended up with so many) and lamented that he didn’t have enough freezer space for them because his freezer was full of rabbit pelts.
“You seem like an interesting person,” posted a member.
The original poster explained that he raised rabbits and killed them for meat, even though it was gut-wrenching to do so. “These animals mean a LOT to me,” he wrote. “I love the animals and I love watching them grow up.” But he felt strongly about self-sustainability and raising food in healthy environments, as opposed to the cruel meat industry. It was a lot of work, and frankly much more expensive than buying meat in the store.
He had zero support from friends and family. The only person who thought he wasn’t a psychotic murderer was his neighbor, so he gave him two of his rabbits. The neighbor left them in the fridge too long and threw them out.
“I put lots of time and effort into each one, and their lives were wasted. I hate that more than anything and it still makes me upset,” he said.
Everyone showered him with comments of support and sympathy.
Remember in Chapter 5 when I was drowning in hardboiled eggs? A member had the same problem. Her post got 282 comments. Granted, many of the comments were jokes about a Papa Roach song. Someone wrote, “Cut them into pieces and throw them in a salad.” The next comments were: “Cut my egg into pieces / This is my chef salad / Starvation, no eating / Don’t really care if I cut my hand peeling.” I love the Internet.
There were so many good ideas. Ramen noodles, egg curry, tuna salad, chef salad, pasta salad, potato salad, potato soup, gribiche sauce, Korean mayak, creamed on toast, Scotch eggs, pudding (blend eggs with milk, sugar, and flavoring), tiger skin eggs, son- in-law eggs, pickled eggs or pickled beet eggs on sandwiches, salads, and avocado toast. I am going to try all of these ideas.
Plus, some British guy said he drops whole pickled eggs in a bag of potato chips and shakes them up. Someone wrote, “This is just crazy enough to be absolutely delicious.”
Turns out, there are lots of fellow food waste warriors out there. I just had to look for them.
submitted by marichat-ladrien to noscrapleftbehind [link] [comments]
It had been two years since my food-waste journey began. By now, I had learned so much and felt ready to share what I knew.
The question was: how?
The typical paths to online stardom didn’t appeal to me. Under no circumstances did I want to make an Instagram account or a YouTube channel where I just talked and talked and people left comments. I didn’t want to spend time taking photos and videos and editing blog articles just so people could see them once and forget about them.
Instead, I wanted a community: a living, breathing thing built by others. A place where people could share their ideas and successes with each other instead of just listening to me. That was my vision. Luckily, a new platform came into my life—Reddit—and it was exactly what I needed.
If you’re not familiar with Reddit, it’s a website made up of communities where people are only allowed to share a very specific type of content on each community. turtleswearingstuff is, as you can easily guess, a group (otherwise known as a subreddit) for posting pictures of turtles wearing stuff. A picture of a naked turtle, or a picture of a hatted cow, would be deleted by moderators for being off-topic. It was a perfect place for people to share videos, articles, pictures, questions, and ideas about food waste.
I created the subreddit, put up a few example posts with recipes and food hacks, and started letting people know about us. I posted in EatCheapandHealthy, ZeroWaste, LifeHacks, Environmentalism, and more. Posting in twenty-eight subreddits might have been overboard . . . but hey, I don’t like to do things only halfway.
A hundred followers joined in the first hour. That exceeded my expectations! Then an hour later, there were two hundred. Five hundred. I checked my phone all day long, amazed as the numbers jumped higher.
A member of the ZeroWaste community left this comment in my post: “I went to No Scrap Left Behind this morning and it was 200, and now it’s 700. What is happening? Why is this so big?”
The subreddit reached one thousand members in a single day. On the second day, it reached five thousand.
Soon, the forum was flooded with posts. They shared their success stories: turning sour milk into soda bread, stale donuts into French toast, and apple cores into syrup. Making broth was a rite of passage, and most of us tried Everything Cookies.
I had envisioned myself as being an adviser for others to turn to, but my food waste warriors, as I would call them, didn’t need my help. A woman posted asking what to do with leftover pickle juice even though it passed the Hungry Kid Test. Within four hours, she had dozens of suggestions like marinading chicken; brining fresh vegetables like celery and carrots; brining tofu; adding flavor to tuna salad, pasta salad, potato salad, egg salad, coleslaw, and homemade ranch; soaking potato slices before roasting them for chips; adding it to stew; using it in sourdough or rye bread; and, of course, “Just chug it.” Someone even suggested using it as “pickleback,” which is a shot of whiskey chased with a shot of pickle juice.
On the lifehacks forum, someone said this about us: “These people are intense. They’re saving stuff like canned fruit juice!”
In a short period of time, I became a moderator overseeing tens of thousands of members. It was my responsibility to build a culture around my subreddit and, frankly, to keep everyone in line. Some subreddits expect their members to be nice, like wholesomememes, while others are magnets for snarkiness.
I knew right away what the tone of this subreddit should be. A tweet inspired me, actually. It said, “I love how Pinterest is the only place on the internet where people get along. There’s not much to argue about cheesecake recipes.” The tweet spoke to so many people, it got tens of thousands of likes. Maybe I had a similar opportunity to create one of the few places online where people could get along.
Much like the cooks making cheesecake on Pinterest, the vast majority of members were enthusiastic and creative. But some people came in with their figurative fists raised, ready to argue. One user called me a “corporate shill” for “putting the blame of food waste entirely on individuals instead of looking critically at supply chain problems.” Before banning him, I pointed out that a subreddit about supply chains would have been much less popular.
In those early days, people argued about which scraps were safe for dogs. Vegans and vegetarians criticized meat eaters. A member was even criticized for keeping chickens because buying chickens supported the meat industry, even if they weren’t eaten. People argued about expiration dates, of course. If anyone posted unhealthy food, there would be the inevitable, “Just throw it out. You shouldn’t be eating that anyway.” A few were adamant about throwing away food made by Nestlé, as if an evil corporation would care that you threw away their product after buying it.
There was even an argument over the best way to remove egg yolks from the whites. I kid you not. One member insisted that the only way to do it was to separate a single yolk into a small bowl, then add it to the rest of the yolks because that way if you crack open a bad egg, it won’t spoil the rest of the batch. People went back and forth on this for a while and some feelings were hurt. Finally, a member wrote, “This is a weird thing to be so passionate about.” The whole thing reminded me of the egg in Gulliver’s Travels that satirized pointless arguments.
All these problems were easy to fix. Every subreddit gets to make its own rules, so I made these rules for mine: Be nice. No diet shaming. Don’t tell people when to throw away food.
The negativity cleared up. Even when things got ugly, I handled it light-heartedly. Once when two members were arguing over something silly, I wrote, “You two be nice or I’ll put you both on time-out.” Embarrassed, one of the users deleted all her comments in the argument. I could have deleted the comments myself, but this was better.
A culture of kindness built itself up. I found people apologizing for things they didn’t need to apologize for and then the other person apologizing for making them feel the need to apologize. It was like the Canada of Reddit.
I even had to depend on my food waste warriors every now and then. Once Adalyn was excited to make cupcakes all by herself and we were out of vegetable oil, so I used olive oil. This was not the kind of olive oil I had used in baking before. It had a strong flavor that tasted terrible in cupcakes and no one in my family would eat them. Olive oil cake is a thing, but for some reason, it didn’t work at all.
Desperate to save my daughter from disappointment, I made a post asking what to do. The other members pointed out that olive oil cake always has citrus because the two flavors work well together. We made orange frosting, and voilà! The cupcakes were so good that Adalyn proudly shared them with her aunts and uncles.
Our subreddit was a hub for resourcefulness and creativity. My proudest moment was when a member posted, “What part of food do you eat that most people toss?” The answers included kiwi and mango skin, apple core and seeds, the white part of the watermelon rind, watermelon seeds (roasted), strawberry tops, cilantro stems, potato skins, the cores of iceberg lettuce and cabbages, cauliflower leaves, and shrimp with the shell on.
It was also a good place to vent about waste. A user posted about needing to use twelve unsweet cantaloupes (I have no idea how he ended up with so many) and lamented that he didn’t have enough freezer space for them because his freezer was full of rabbit pelts.
“You seem like an interesting person,” posted a member.
The original poster explained that he raised rabbits and killed them for meat, even though it was gut-wrenching to do so. “These animals mean a LOT to me,” he wrote. “I love the animals and I love watching them grow up.” But he felt strongly about self-sustainability and raising food in healthy environments, as opposed to the cruel meat industry. It was a lot of work, and frankly much more expensive than buying meat in the store.
He had zero support from friends and family. The only person who thought he wasn’t a psychotic murderer was his neighbor, so he gave him two of his rabbits. The neighbor left them in the fridge too long and threw them out.
“I put lots of time and effort into each one, and their lives were wasted. I hate that more than anything and it still makes me upset,” he said.
Everyone showered him with comments of support and sympathy.
Remember in Chapter 5 when I was drowning in hardboiled eggs? A member had the same problem. Her post got 282 comments. Granted, many of the comments were jokes about a Papa Roach song. Someone wrote, “Cut them into pieces and throw them in a salad.” The next comments were: “Cut my egg into pieces / This is my chef salad / Starvation, no eating / Don’t really care if I cut my hand peeling.” I love the Internet.
There were so many good ideas. Ramen noodles, egg curry, tuna salad, chef salad, pasta salad, potato salad, potato soup, gribiche sauce, Korean mayak, creamed on toast, Scotch eggs, pudding (blend eggs with milk, sugar, and flavoring), tiger skin eggs, son- in-law eggs, pickled eggs or pickled beet eggs on sandwiches, salads, and avocado toast. I am going to try all of these ideas.
Plus, some British guy said he drops whole pickled eggs in a bag of potato chips and shakes them up. Someone wrote, “This is just crazy enough to be absolutely delicious.”
Turns out, there are lots of fellow food waste warriors out there. I just had to look for them.
2024.04.16 15:02 LordIlthari The Dragon Princess Chapter 20: Dawn of a New Age
“Cassandra. Please help me.” Seramis begged in utter exasperation as Medea fused over the young dragoness. A few licks of flame and careful adjustments brought the final necessary adjustments to a uniquely diluvian form of formal wear. The princess’s scars had been covered over with molten silver, set in place and allowed to cool, hardening to the scales. From this, similar techniques were used to create a careful outline of interconnecting silver leaves and vines, studded occasionally with rubies. It gave the dragoness the impression that she was wearing a sculpted holly bush. This stretched out towards her wings, which had been dyed for the occasion, a brilliant pair of blue flowers, the petals shimmering like flame in the light. The dragoness had always been magnificent, but now she had become a walking work of art, a display of wealth, skill with flame, the strength required to carry such a heavy “outfit”, and the restraint to move without damaging it.
“No, I don’t think I will.” Cassandra replied with a smug smile. The sorceress had dressed in her finest, a fine purple tunic that trailed behind her, enveloping the woman in flowing silks decorated with golden honeysuckle designs running in anthemion patterns. She wore across her back a brilliant blue cloak that hung down to her ankles, decorated with enough symbology to practically be a tapestry. Her hair was drawn up and back in a complex bun set with jewels. Her pale face was reddened with clay, and her blue eyes were highlighted with kohl in an almost Egyptian style. To cap it off, she was bedecked in perhaps twenty pounds of golden jewelry, bracelets, necklaces, bejeweled belts and rings. Medea had of course managed and tweaking each individual piece, doing everything in her power to ensure the young queen looked as magnificent as possible.
“I think it’s rather lovely she puts so much work into helping you look your best. Heaven knows you wouldn’t have managed much yourself. You’d hardly care to.” Cassandra remarked, utterly radiant and confident in her full regalia. She wore the atmosphere of formality with true confidence, or at least very good acting chops.
“Yes, do listen to the young queen, it is her coronation after all.”
“Betrayed by my own mother. I shall have to write a tragedy about this.” Seramis moaned theatrically. “Of course you turn against me the moment you find someone who actually likes having you fuss over them.”
“It’s a nice change of pace to have someone who does.” Cass admitted, and her smile became far less smug and more genuine.
“Well you’ve certainly needed it.” Medea replied, before finally considering Seramis acceptable. “Alright. Well, we had best take our places.” She offered a bow to Cassandra, and then, a re-assuring hug before stepping out.
Seramis chuckled and shook her head, before affectionately nudging the young queen. “Well, knock em dead oh sister mine.”
“Sister?”
“Oh mom has absolutely adopted you. You don’t get a choice it’s just happened.”
“Well, my little sister-“
“I’m ten times your size, you don’t get to do that one.” Sera growled. “Even so, go break a leg. Not literally it’s just an expression. Let’s get this party done so I can get out of this overly expensive ivy. Never got this. Silver is food, not something to wear.” She grumbled at nobody in particular before going to take her place.
The coronation was held in the grand temple at the heart of Philopolis. Once, this had been the highest point in the kingdom, a place of refuge. Over the years, the military mountain of the fortress had overtaken it, and now the towering grey fortress framed the white marble of the temple. It seemed almost petit, even if it was an edifice that even Athens would have had to acknowledge. There were relatively few of the great and mighty of Philopolis present. Most of those had died recently. Instead the grounds were filled with knights of renown, loyal soldiers, and of course many a foreign dignitary. They had come from all Hellas, even also from Ionia, Pontus, and Bithynia. There were Egyptians and Persians, with retinues of Numidians, Arabians, Ethiopians, and Hebrews. This day had been long awaited, for it was not any day that a new challenger to Iskandar’s throne took her throne. The whole of the Hellenistic world, and a few from beyond it, had come to bear witness to the dawning of the new age.
Of course, two guests quite literally overshadowed all others. Alfred and Medea, king and queen of Achaea, wore their true forms before all assembled, unable to even fit inside the temple. Instead they stood beside it, he on the east and she on the west, in all their glory to honor the new queen. They had become as if the sun. Medea draped gold woven like sheep’s wool over herself, and outwards from there radiated bronze and orichalcum as the rays of the setting sun, fading seamlessly into her natural blue-green scales, before reaching the silver of night about her feet. Alfred by contrast had woven gold onto his breast and spread it outwards in spiraling rays. At the same time, he crowned himself with umber, ebony, and amber, a black and tarnished gold crescent about his brow that ran down in four rivers along his neck. There it spread across his wings in twisting Mesopotamian spirals set against a red sky, fearsome, ancient, and wonderous. They set themselves, Lord and Lady of Night and Day, mightiest of all beasts, wonders of a forgotten age now returned. Rumors had spread throughout the world that dragons reigned in Achaea, for knowledge spread slowly in those days. Now it was boldly proclaimed on the highest stage, the daughters of Tiamat and the sons of Mardok had returned to once more take thrones among men.
Of course, the high and mighty were far from the only ones assembled here. About the hill and ranging down it were men and women of every social strata. From warriors in honorable military dress, to gaudily dressed merchants, to common farmers in what passed for their best, to the slaves in whatever they could manage. It seemed the whole kingdom had turned out for this, and beyond the hill, a great field was being set up with a truly mind-boggling amount of food.
If dragons were capable of breaking out in a cold sweat, Seramis likely would have. Given her role in arranging this, she had obtained a place of honor. Which meant she would be standing in front of all of this and desperately trying not to make a fool of herself. She briefly considered turning herself into a mouse and hiding somewhere very, very far away from all of this. She had admittedly wanted recognition and respect at the beginning of this, but this was more than she had bargained for.
“Don’t worry, I’m nervous too.” A familiar voice re-assured her. She turned and relaxed when she saw Leonidas standing beside her. The young prince was dressed in far less finery, with a blue tunic and purple cloak. He wore a belt set with gold, and on it a sword set with gems. He also, ever pragmatic, kept an actually functional sword and his trusted hunting knife hidden beneath his clothing. He wore a golden necklace about his neck, which was made of the rings taken from defeated noblemen woven together. Upon his brow he wore a crown of laurels as befitted a champion and hero of the realm. He offered her his hand reassuringly. “We’ve managed worse than this. We can manage this as well.”
Sera regarded his hand with some bemusement. “I think that if I were to try and take that hand of yours, I’d risk crushing it, or possibly stumble. I do use all four limbs to keep myself upright like a reasonable creature.” She remarked with a hint of haughtiness, but a genuine smile. “I appreciate it though. But enough nerves. It’s showtime.”
Then they walked down the center of the temple, side by side, with the acclamation of the mighty about them. They took their places, he on the right hand of the altar, and she on the left. The applause faded, and then resumed with even greater intensity as Cassandra took the stage. She strode alone, unaccompanied by servants, bodyguard, or king. Seramis sensed a glamor about the woman, projecting an aura of authority to overawe those around her. She took her place, and allowed the applause before raising a hand to silence them. Then, from behind the altar came a priestess of Hecate, holding an ancient crown. Once this crown had been that of the kings of Persia, but Iskandar had taken it, and sent it back to his home that it might crown his successors. Cassandra took the crown, and placed it upon her own brow. No priest or any other would crown her, for she was in and of herself the authority.
Then Seramis and Leonidas both shouted an acclamation, and the whole hall joined them. Then the hill beyond echoed, until as on the battlefield, the roar of thousands proclaimed their acceptance of their rightful queen, crowned at last.
“LONG LIVE QUEEN CASSANDRA!”
“LONG LIVE QUEEN CASSANDRA!”
“LONG LIVE QUEEN CASSANDRA!”
And then there was a great wordless cheer that went on for about another two minutes before it finally stilled, and Cassandra spoke in turn.
“Hear me, oh people mine, oh my soldiers, and oh you great men from across the earth, who gather here to honor me. Fourteen years ago, this day was set in motion when infection took my father from the earth. So then the line of Iskandar passed unto me, last of the blood of Zeus, and was set waiting until the time would be right. For fourteen years the kingdom has awaited the return of its rightful head, and I have strived with all my being to become indeed, worthy of crown and legacy alike. I am the last and mightiest of the demigods, and last of the true line of Iskandar. In treachery, many sought to extinguish them forever, to plunge our great nation, and indeed all the world, into darkness and night everlasting. But now, the wait is ended, the great usurper is dead, and I have come. A new day dawns for Philopolis, indeed for all Hellas!”
At this, her loyal men roared in applause. Thanks to a certain small coin carefully hidden amongst all the queen’s jewelry, so too did all those beyond the pillars of the temple. The other members of the audience felt the need to do so as well, caught up in the momentum of the crowd even if they did find the idea of a new dawn mildly concerning.
“As such, this shall be my first action, to clear away all that remained of the long night. Only a memory of the evil Tyndareus had done here will remain. Bring them forth!” She ordered.
Then at once a group of soldiers brought forth men in chains, beaten and with once fine clothes torn to rags. These were what remained of Tyndareus’s allies, the old, rich, ambitious, and cruel men who had supported him. The soldiers threw them down before Cassandra, and they wailed and begged for clemency like common criminals. The mighty men of the audience saw them so degraded, and watched them all be silent like beaten dogs when Cassandra raised her hand.
“You, oh men of much means, you who were mighty among the noble men of Macedon. How far you have fallen. Once, your forefathers were captains and brethren to Iskandar the Conqueror, but what legacy of that have you retained? You have become corrupt schemes, wicked webweavers, feasting on an empire you did not build, but would most certainly destroy. Your wealth and influence did not serve this nation, only yourselves. When you saw the wickedness and ambition of Tyndareus, you did not rebuke it, but instead ran to join him. If not for the mighty hand I struck him with, you might very well have raised your banners and plunged all the land into civil war. You saw that Olympus was silent and made your god your bellies. You saw that treachery was afoot, and ran to join it. For this, you are brought to ruin. Your sons are dead. Your daughters, exiled. Your lands and treasuries, your flocks and herds, your grain and wine, your oil and your slaves, male and female, all are forfeit. The crown shall devour your whole inheritance, and never again will there be any like you in the land. As for you yourselves, death awaits, and not merely death, but an example. You shall remain forever, a warning to all on the price of treachery.”
Then Cassandra turned to the altar, and took from there a pitcher of seawater. She spoke and began to cast, as the mighty men begged and wailed. Some tried to flee, but chained to their fellows could not escape as the words of the incantation continued.
“Roopaantarit maans par ek paath likhen.”
“Ise parvaton ke patthar ke samaan banane do.”
“To sabhee dekhenge aur hamesha yaad rakhenge.”
Then Cassandra turned and threw the water over them. There was a last collective scream, and then silence. Their flesh became like stone, and their robes and chains also. The traitorous remnant had all been transformed into a great marble statue. Their fear, their despair, their desperation, was now preserved for all time. “Go, take this statue and set it in the gardens on the path to the throne. Let it stand there until the mountains are worn down to dust, so all will see and remember what the price of treachery is.” Cassandra ordered. At this, forty mighty men came together, and carefully began moving the object lesson to its place.
“With that unpleasant business attended to, the past is cast away, only to be remembered. The shadow of Tyndareus shall not haunt this land again. Indeed, I have considered much, how this came about. How was it that so few, in corruption and decadence, turned to treachery and brought about such ruin? It is because they were few and mighty, like little kings unto themselves. They did not need to act with virtue or concern for others, for they said unto one “go here” and another “do this” without care. For they counted in their wealth innumerable slaves, so the slaves outnumbered the citizens. They crushed the honest farmer, and the self-made artisan, by compelling others to do the same work for no pay, and thus undercutting the bedrock of our society. This shall not continue, and shall never be allowed to begin again.”
“Hear me, oh Philopolis. This I enact as the first and greatest of my laws. The institution of slavery is hereby abolished. Every man, woman, and child who had been a slave owned by any citizen of Philopolis or its crown is now free. Neither shall any human or diluvian ever be bought or sold in these realms, but that one would be bought out of slavery to freedom. They shall all be free citizens. To them I will give the lands of their masters for tenancy, to cultivate the land in farms of their own, raising animals and land. To those with skill, the treasuries of their masters shall be given as loans to establish businesses. To those with wit, go forth and buy and sell, fill the land with honest trade and grow wealthy from your cunning. To those with courage, the armies of Philopolis welcome you to fight and preserve your freedom. We shall take the arms of the tyrant, and they shall be for the nation. The armies of Philopolis shall never again be an army that oppresses her people, but shall be my sword and shield with which I and all my posterity will protect our people and their sacred liberties.”
“This all I write by the authority of my crown, the might of my armies, and with the full favor of heaven. Let any who contravene this be accursed, and indeed accursed for six generations. Thus I have spoken, and it shall be done.”
The response to this was not applause, but at first stunned silence. In a single act, Cassandra had turned the entire world upside down. She had torn out the foundations of her kingdom’s economy and prepared to rebuild it from scratch. The sheer monumental weight of this decision hung in the air for a long moment. Then, outside the walls, the people heard, and realized what she said was true. They were all free. As the realization spread, men and women wept with joy, shouted in triumph, and began to sing and dance. The roar of excitement, relief, and unbridled joy could not be contained. For nearly ten minutes nothing could be heard beyond the wall of sound which surrounded the temple. Cassandra had already had the support of the remaining army. She had liquidated the nobles. She was popular with the people, and now with this action, her reputation was utterly invulnerable. Woe to the fool who challenged the liberator.
When the tumult had quelled to a point where Cassandra could be heard, she spoke again. “Hear also, the works I will do beyond the borders. You are all aware of the policies of Tyndareus, his ceaseless ambition and pointless warmongering. This shall no longer proceed. We shall never be lacking when the time comes for war, all who challenge us with the last argument of kings shall be undone. But neither shall it be our sole sword, or our only glory. Our nation’s greatness will no longer only be shown on the battlefield. But if indeed one does foolishly think this weakness, let it be known this day, I have signed a new treaty.” She gestured to Seramis and Leonidas. “At my right hand is the prince of Marathon, and the left, the princess of Achaea. This day, our three kingdoms have formed a pact of mutual defense and free trade. An attack on one shall be an attack on three. Indeed, our generals and armies shall coordinate, that should any need for pre-emptive defense arise, then the full fury of three kingdoms will fall upon those who dare to challenge us. It is my pleasure to announce before you all the formal beginning of the Northern Hellas Alliance!” Thus it would be formally declared, but in time all would come to call it by another name: The Pact of Flames.
After another round of applause, mostly from the army, Cassandra continued. “This is the business of my first day upon the throne, and now it is concluded before all of you. I considered it foolhardy to celebrate only myself. What foolish king dedicates the resources of his nation to proclaiming his own glories? Rather, it will be what I do that shall be my glory, and now we shall indeed celebrate, not my ascension, but that that ascension has already meant and will mean anew. As I told you, a new age is dawning, and I shall bring it forth for the sake of my people and indeed, all Hellas. Let the world hear this day, that the heir of Iskandar has taken her throne, and as my ancestor I will shake this world to its foundations. Go now, let the wine flow and the tables be covered with every delicacy. I give it to you as a gift. Let the songs be sung and the harps be played, an anthem of joy to welcome the new age.”
With that, Cassandra walked out, and the other two members of the trio walked with her. They stepped out into a wall of noise as the people of the three kingdoms acclaimed their champions. They strode down into glory, and sat together to a feast for the ages. Cassandra had initially planned for the celebrations to go on to the evening. Her people had other ideas, and the celebrations continued, wild and joyous, for seven days and seven nights. The people came forth from across the whole nation to offer their fealty and their thanks to the queen and her compatriots, and brought with them gifts of every kind. The whole of Philopolis was filled with singing, music, dancing, and feasting, and it only stopped when it seemed the entire country had run out of wine, and the imports from Achaea and Marathon could no longer keep up.
Seramis might have found the party intimidating at first, but in time she came alive. She feasted on the gossip and the secrets that flowed behind the wine. Every rumor, every plot, every scheme that filled the celebration, from the highest to the smallest, she devoured them and delighted in it all. For everyone from princes to former slaves now saw that the future had been opened, and everyone set new plans in motion to take their own part in that future. She took anything of particular concern, and whispered it in Cassandra’s ear that the young queen would be prepared.
It was during one such whispering that Cassandra called Sera and Leon away. They found their way to a quiet room in the castle, and essentially collapsed into the chairs, or in Sera’s case, onto the floor. The party was delightful, but they were all quickly becoming utterly exhausted. Cassandra groaned. “You know, I understand they want to make this a holiday. I’m all for it, truly, but a holi-day, not holi-week. If I have to do this for a week every year I’m going to cut my reign twenty years short, and I don’t have time for that.”
“I mean you managed to basically turn the world upside down in your first few minutes, so I think you might have some time.” Leonidas joked.
Cassandra smiled wearily at him. “It was the right thing to do. And the first thing I had to do now, because I need it to set everything else up. I have to rebuild a kingdom, perhaps rebuild the world. My great-grandmother lived to be ninety-six, so I’ve got a bit less than eighty years to work with at best. I hope that’s enough time.”
“Well, yes, it is the right thing to do, though I’m surprised that’s the reason you did it. No offense, but you always struck me as a bit more pragmatic than idealistic.” Sera added.
“It secures a permanent base of popular support that will never be challenged. It allows be to divide lands that are far too big for me to manage among such a vast array of small tenants that none of them will ever individually be able to challenge my rule even if they did have support. It floods my economy with new traders and artisans to drive down the price of goods, increasing the overall standard of living. Rents from tenant farmers, loan repayments from the artisans, and of course the increase in tax revenue caused by the increase in economic activity ensure that I have a larger and more stable supply of income for my administration than any other ruler in my nation’s history. I have gained a massive new pool of recruits to reform the army, who will be fanatically loyal, and in the event of war it will be simplicity itself to incite support by claiming an enemy would impose slavery once again. Not to mention it ensures that I will have the support of Marathon and Achaea, while also softening the image of Philopolis before the rest of Hellas, making it possible to begin negotiations and gradually bring Hellas and Ionia into our orbit without conflict. It is the single best way for me to ensure I have everything I need in terms of support, money, control, foreign influence, and military power to enact any remaining changes. I am become absolute, and they will praise my name forever for it.” Cassandra concluded with a sly look.
“So yes, exactly the right thing to do. I am become immortal, which is exactly the point. To overawe those in attendance with massive amounts of popular support and the exceptional power of my foreign support to ensure nobody gets any ideas. It’s essentially a bluff to keep anyone from tampering with us until the kingdom gets back on its feet, one which is working quite well. Unfortunately, my primary target for this decided to not make an appearance.”
“Pretty much the entire civilized world showed up.” Leonidas considered with some concern. “Don’t tell me you were expecting a delegation from Albion or the Scythians.”
“No, though it might have been nice. Ultimately, the threat arises not from the uncivilized world, much of a headache as the scythians will be, but that part of the world, which was once uncivilized, and now is becoming civilized. The latins and the Carthaginians have been growing in power, and inevitably, clashed against one another. The ideal state for us would have been that they rendered one another utterly incapable of further expansion. Instead, the Latins in that collection of mud huts they call Roma have become a serious military power, one my predecessor has antagonized by supporting their rivals in Carthage. Sooner or later, their ambitions will drive them east, and we must be ready for them. My hope would have been that an overwhelming display of power, a united front, and popular support would convince them that moving east would be foolish. However if they do not see it, they will not believe it. And of course there are also those who would not be impressed by the whole empire of Iskandar. With the name of Malphus being spoken again, and the Dilluvians returning to the political stage, the forces of that ancient evil will stir once more.” Cassandra mused with some frustration.
“You do have my apologies for that.” Seramis apologized with some embarrassment. “I wouldn’t have used that name if I knew.”
“Keep your apologies, I want your help.” Cassandra replied with a hint of snark that put Sera on edge, before the young queen laughed. “Taking down Tyndareus was just the beginning. Philopolis will face challenges that have not been seen in hundreds of years. A new age is certainly dawning, but making it a golden age and not a dark age is going to be the effort of a lifetime. It is one I cannot accomplish alone.”
“To that end, I have considered much. Leonidas, your actions in the recent campaigns have proven not only your impeccable courage, but your skill and cunning as a leader of men. The army of Philopolis will need to be rebuilt, adapted into something no longer totally dependent on conscription, but a professional corps supplemented by conscripts. In other words, Marathon’s model. Who better than a prince of Marathon to help lead that effort, and then, win glory as a leader of that army.”
Leonidas’s eyes widened as he considered the offer, and then they fell, his face somewhat downcast. “Are you certain this is wise Cass?” he asked carefully. “I am not experienced in this, and I am a second son, even of a foreign kingdom. This is risky.”
“If it were anyone but you, it wouldn’t be risky, it would be downright idiotic.” Cass replied, joking, but then genuine. “I have seen the kind of man you are Leon. I know I have nothing to fear from you. Moreover, if I wanted to simply replicate an existing army, I could acquire men with more experience. But I do not want to simply repeat history, I want to surpass it. To this end, a man unburdened by age, yet with enough wisdom to see the forest and how each and every tree contributes to it, is exactly the man I need.”
“Then, as long as you’ll have me, so be it.” Leonidas said with a grin. “Let the ties between Marathon and Philopolis grow yet deeper, and establish the next great leap in the art of war.”
“Of course, war shall not be the first answer our enemies bring against us in most cases. Nor shall it be our first response to every problem. Among other things, war is expensive. Rather, subtly, intrigue, and diplomacy shall be new tools in our arsenal. Of course with the degradation in the diplomatic corps, our artistic and cultural pursuits, and spycraft, I should need quite possibly the greatest schemer in all Hellas. The fact that she comes with enough firepower to personally rival me is a nice bonus.” Cassandra replied, turning again towards Seramis.
“No need to lay it on so thick. You’re my friend, of course I’ll help you. The fact you let me just do what I like and what I’m good at is just the cherry on top.” Seramis replied, her face entirely smug. “Though do keep in mind, my diet includes solid gold and magic items, and I’ve still got another, oh, five tons or so to put on.”
Cassandra regarded the horse-sized dragoness in front of her, and then the door. She considered how complicated it had already been for Sera to fit through it, and sighed. “I’ll put a line item in the budget for expanding the doors.” She replied, much to Sera’s amusement. “Well, since we’re all going to be hung over later-“ She mentioned, and retrieved another amphora of wine with three glasses, she poured, then paused. “Perhaps I had better find a bowl for you Sera.”
Seramis regarded the trio of glasses, and then called Elijah out of her shadow. “Do you suppose I could do it now?” she asked the familiar cryptically.
“All magic needs three components.” Elijah replied, looking towards the other two. “You only had one before, which is why it never worked. Give it a try.”
Seramis took a deep breath, and then cast with her three components. Herself, the prince she had taken, and the queen who had come to her. A spell cast in solitude no longer, and in arrogance no more.
“Daj mi forma da odam pokraj niv.”
“Niz denovite na svetlina i senka.”
“Spodeluvanje vo smea i vo tagi.”
Then, there was a light and a blue flame, and Seramis took a hesitant step forwards on two legs. Where once the dragoness stood, now stood a young Greek woman, olive-skinned from the warm Mediterranean sun, with eyes blue like dragonfire. Her hair was short and curly, hung close about her ears, around a face at once noble as a lion’s and mischievous as a cat’s. Black scale melted into a flowing black dress that trailed behind her, decorated with spiraling patterns of twisting silver holly vines. About her curling hair there was a crown of silver, with seven red stones set about it.
She stumbled, unused to walking on two legs. Leonidas stepped forwards and caught her before she could fall. She blushed at that, and Leon looked down to make sure he hadn’t grabbed anything inappropriate in his haste. He hadn’t, but the look earned him a slap anyways, much to Cassandra’s amusement. “Oh to hell with this.” Sera sighed, and snapped in some quick changes. The dress split at the back to allow room for a pair of large black wings, still dyed with flowers of flame. It likewise opened below the knee to allow a greater range of motion, particularly for a newly sprouted tail. Thus better balanced, Seramis stood and strode upright. “I swear, how in the world do you manage to balance with such a ridiculous body plan?”
“I have no idea; it apparently has something to do with the inner ear.” Cassandra replied with a shrug. “Still, it does have advantages.” She stepped forwards and offered Seramis a glass, which the princess took gratefully.
“So, how do I look?” Seramis asked, stepping back and giving a slight twirl to show off her newest shape. “It’s another imagined one, a bit of a combination of those I’ve seen.”
“You’ve seen some excellent women.” Cassandra replied with a laugh. “You are every bit as fair and terrible as Persephone herself.” This earned a slightly jealous look from Leon. She grinned at him slyly. “This is an advantage of speaking too much, you learn exactly what to say to a beautiful woman.”
“Hm, she might have had too much to drink. I am still a dragoness.” Seramis demurred, looking somewhat awkwardly at her new hands. “And rather obviously given the wings and tail. Only so far beauty can go among humans.”
“It is further than you think. I think now that I know what Artemis looks like, when she walks under the moon and stars.” Leon replied, and Sera turned vaguely pink. Cassandra cackled, and nodded approvingly.
“Ye gods, there is some Athenian in our mute Laconian after all! Well, clearly she needs to get used to having skin people can see. If she’s going to be blushing like that every five minutes nobody will take her seriously.” Cass snarked, earning a glare from Sera. That earned a smile. “Ah yes, still a dragoness, and undeniably so. You look good Sera. Don’t worry about it. If nothing else, we have another thing to toast to.” She said with a grin, then raised her glass. “To a new form, and a new age.”
Leon raised his own glass. “To friendship, and the good work ahead of us.”
Sera grinned at that, and raised her own to match. “To us, and all the trouble we’re going to get into!”
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“No, I don’t think I will.” Cassandra replied with a smug smile. The sorceress had dressed in her finest, a fine purple tunic that trailed behind her, enveloping the woman in flowing silks decorated with golden honeysuckle designs running in anthemion patterns. She wore across her back a brilliant blue cloak that hung down to her ankles, decorated with enough symbology to practically be a tapestry. Her hair was drawn up and back in a complex bun set with jewels. Her pale face was reddened with clay, and her blue eyes were highlighted with kohl in an almost Egyptian style. To cap it off, she was bedecked in perhaps twenty pounds of golden jewelry, bracelets, necklaces, bejeweled belts and rings. Medea had of course managed and tweaking each individual piece, doing everything in her power to ensure the young queen looked as magnificent as possible.
“I think it’s rather lovely she puts so much work into helping you look your best. Heaven knows you wouldn’t have managed much yourself. You’d hardly care to.” Cassandra remarked, utterly radiant and confident in her full regalia. She wore the atmosphere of formality with true confidence, or at least very good acting chops.
“Yes, do listen to the young queen, it is her coronation after all.”
“Betrayed by my own mother. I shall have to write a tragedy about this.” Seramis moaned theatrically. “Of course you turn against me the moment you find someone who actually likes having you fuss over them.”
“It’s a nice change of pace to have someone who does.” Cass admitted, and her smile became far less smug and more genuine.
“Well you’ve certainly needed it.” Medea replied, before finally considering Seramis acceptable. “Alright. Well, we had best take our places.” She offered a bow to Cassandra, and then, a re-assuring hug before stepping out.
Seramis chuckled and shook her head, before affectionately nudging the young queen. “Well, knock em dead oh sister mine.”
“Sister?”
“Oh mom has absolutely adopted you. You don’t get a choice it’s just happened.”
“Well, my little sister-“
“I’m ten times your size, you don’t get to do that one.” Sera growled. “Even so, go break a leg. Not literally it’s just an expression. Let’s get this party done so I can get out of this overly expensive ivy. Never got this. Silver is food, not something to wear.” She grumbled at nobody in particular before going to take her place.
The coronation was held in the grand temple at the heart of Philopolis. Once, this had been the highest point in the kingdom, a place of refuge. Over the years, the military mountain of the fortress had overtaken it, and now the towering grey fortress framed the white marble of the temple. It seemed almost petit, even if it was an edifice that even Athens would have had to acknowledge. There were relatively few of the great and mighty of Philopolis present. Most of those had died recently. Instead the grounds were filled with knights of renown, loyal soldiers, and of course many a foreign dignitary. They had come from all Hellas, even also from Ionia, Pontus, and Bithynia. There were Egyptians and Persians, with retinues of Numidians, Arabians, Ethiopians, and Hebrews. This day had been long awaited, for it was not any day that a new challenger to Iskandar’s throne took her throne. The whole of the Hellenistic world, and a few from beyond it, had come to bear witness to the dawning of the new age.
Of course, two guests quite literally overshadowed all others. Alfred and Medea, king and queen of Achaea, wore their true forms before all assembled, unable to even fit inside the temple. Instead they stood beside it, he on the east and she on the west, in all their glory to honor the new queen. They had become as if the sun. Medea draped gold woven like sheep’s wool over herself, and outwards from there radiated bronze and orichalcum as the rays of the setting sun, fading seamlessly into her natural blue-green scales, before reaching the silver of night about her feet. Alfred by contrast had woven gold onto his breast and spread it outwards in spiraling rays. At the same time, he crowned himself with umber, ebony, and amber, a black and tarnished gold crescent about his brow that ran down in four rivers along his neck. There it spread across his wings in twisting Mesopotamian spirals set against a red sky, fearsome, ancient, and wonderous. They set themselves, Lord and Lady of Night and Day, mightiest of all beasts, wonders of a forgotten age now returned. Rumors had spread throughout the world that dragons reigned in Achaea, for knowledge spread slowly in those days. Now it was boldly proclaimed on the highest stage, the daughters of Tiamat and the sons of Mardok had returned to once more take thrones among men.
Of course, the high and mighty were far from the only ones assembled here. About the hill and ranging down it were men and women of every social strata. From warriors in honorable military dress, to gaudily dressed merchants, to common farmers in what passed for their best, to the slaves in whatever they could manage. It seemed the whole kingdom had turned out for this, and beyond the hill, a great field was being set up with a truly mind-boggling amount of food.
If dragons were capable of breaking out in a cold sweat, Seramis likely would have. Given her role in arranging this, she had obtained a place of honor. Which meant she would be standing in front of all of this and desperately trying not to make a fool of herself. She briefly considered turning herself into a mouse and hiding somewhere very, very far away from all of this. She had admittedly wanted recognition and respect at the beginning of this, but this was more than she had bargained for.
“Don’t worry, I’m nervous too.” A familiar voice re-assured her. She turned and relaxed when she saw Leonidas standing beside her. The young prince was dressed in far less finery, with a blue tunic and purple cloak. He wore a belt set with gold, and on it a sword set with gems. He also, ever pragmatic, kept an actually functional sword and his trusted hunting knife hidden beneath his clothing. He wore a golden necklace about his neck, which was made of the rings taken from defeated noblemen woven together. Upon his brow he wore a crown of laurels as befitted a champion and hero of the realm. He offered her his hand reassuringly. “We’ve managed worse than this. We can manage this as well.”
Sera regarded his hand with some bemusement. “I think that if I were to try and take that hand of yours, I’d risk crushing it, or possibly stumble. I do use all four limbs to keep myself upright like a reasonable creature.” She remarked with a hint of haughtiness, but a genuine smile. “I appreciate it though. But enough nerves. It’s showtime.”
Then they walked down the center of the temple, side by side, with the acclamation of the mighty about them. They took their places, he on the right hand of the altar, and she on the left. The applause faded, and then resumed with even greater intensity as Cassandra took the stage. She strode alone, unaccompanied by servants, bodyguard, or king. Seramis sensed a glamor about the woman, projecting an aura of authority to overawe those around her. She took her place, and allowed the applause before raising a hand to silence them. Then, from behind the altar came a priestess of Hecate, holding an ancient crown. Once this crown had been that of the kings of Persia, but Iskandar had taken it, and sent it back to his home that it might crown his successors. Cassandra took the crown, and placed it upon her own brow. No priest or any other would crown her, for she was in and of herself the authority.
Then Seramis and Leonidas both shouted an acclamation, and the whole hall joined them. Then the hill beyond echoed, until as on the battlefield, the roar of thousands proclaimed their acceptance of their rightful queen, crowned at last.
“LONG LIVE QUEEN CASSANDRA!”
“LONG LIVE QUEEN CASSANDRA!”
“LONG LIVE QUEEN CASSANDRA!”
And then there was a great wordless cheer that went on for about another two minutes before it finally stilled, and Cassandra spoke in turn.
“Hear me, oh people mine, oh my soldiers, and oh you great men from across the earth, who gather here to honor me. Fourteen years ago, this day was set in motion when infection took my father from the earth. So then the line of Iskandar passed unto me, last of the blood of Zeus, and was set waiting until the time would be right. For fourteen years the kingdom has awaited the return of its rightful head, and I have strived with all my being to become indeed, worthy of crown and legacy alike. I am the last and mightiest of the demigods, and last of the true line of Iskandar. In treachery, many sought to extinguish them forever, to plunge our great nation, and indeed all the world, into darkness and night everlasting. But now, the wait is ended, the great usurper is dead, and I have come. A new day dawns for Philopolis, indeed for all Hellas!”
At this, her loyal men roared in applause. Thanks to a certain small coin carefully hidden amongst all the queen’s jewelry, so too did all those beyond the pillars of the temple. The other members of the audience felt the need to do so as well, caught up in the momentum of the crowd even if they did find the idea of a new dawn mildly concerning.
“As such, this shall be my first action, to clear away all that remained of the long night. Only a memory of the evil Tyndareus had done here will remain. Bring them forth!” She ordered.
Then at once a group of soldiers brought forth men in chains, beaten and with once fine clothes torn to rags. These were what remained of Tyndareus’s allies, the old, rich, ambitious, and cruel men who had supported him. The soldiers threw them down before Cassandra, and they wailed and begged for clemency like common criminals. The mighty men of the audience saw them so degraded, and watched them all be silent like beaten dogs when Cassandra raised her hand.
“You, oh men of much means, you who were mighty among the noble men of Macedon. How far you have fallen. Once, your forefathers were captains and brethren to Iskandar the Conqueror, but what legacy of that have you retained? You have become corrupt schemes, wicked webweavers, feasting on an empire you did not build, but would most certainly destroy. Your wealth and influence did not serve this nation, only yourselves. When you saw the wickedness and ambition of Tyndareus, you did not rebuke it, but instead ran to join him. If not for the mighty hand I struck him with, you might very well have raised your banners and plunged all the land into civil war. You saw that Olympus was silent and made your god your bellies. You saw that treachery was afoot, and ran to join it. For this, you are brought to ruin. Your sons are dead. Your daughters, exiled. Your lands and treasuries, your flocks and herds, your grain and wine, your oil and your slaves, male and female, all are forfeit. The crown shall devour your whole inheritance, and never again will there be any like you in the land. As for you yourselves, death awaits, and not merely death, but an example. You shall remain forever, a warning to all on the price of treachery.”
Then Cassandra turned to the altar, and took from there a pitcher of seawater. She spoke and began to cast, as the mighty men begged and wailed. Some tried to flee, but chained to their fellows could not escape as the words of the incantation continued.
“Roopaantarit maans par ek paath likhen.”
“Ise parvaton ke patthar ke samaan banane do.”
“To sabhee dekhenge aur hamesha yaad rakhenge.”
Then Cassandra turned and threw the water over them. There was a last collective scream, and then silence. Their flesh became like stone, and their robes and chains also. The traitorous remnant had all been transformed into a great marble statue. Their fear, their despair, their desperation, was now preserved for all time. “Go, take this statue and set it in the gardens on the path to the throne. Let it stand there until the mountains are worn down to dust, so all will see and remember what the price of treachery is.” Cassandra ordered. At this, forty mighty men came together, and carefully began moving the object lesson to its place.
“With that unpleasant business attended to, the past is cast away, only to be remembered. The shadow of Tyndareus shall not haunt this land again. Indeed, I have considered much, how this came about. How was it that so few, in corruption and decadence, turned to treachery and brought about such ruin? It is because they were few and mighty, like little kings unto themselves. They did not need to act with virtue or concern for others, for they said unto one “go here” and another “do this” without care. For they counted in their wealth innumerable slaves, so the slaves outnumbered the citizens. They crushed the honest farmer, and the self-made artisan, by compelling others to do the same work for no pay, and thus undercutting the bedrock of our society. This shall not continue, and shall never be allowed to begin again.”
“Hear me, oh Philopolis. This I enact as the first and greatest of my laws. The institution of slavery is hereby abolished. Every man, woman, and child who had been a slave owned by any citizen of Philopolis or its crown is now free. Neither shall any human or diluvian ever be bought or sold in these realms, but that one would be bought out of slavery to freedom. They shall all be free citizens. To them I will give the lands of their masters for tenancy, to cultivate the land in farms of their own, raising animals and land. To those with skill, the treasuries of their masters shall be given as loans to establish businesses. To those with wit, go forth and buy and sell, fill the land with honest trade and grow wealthy from your cunning. To those with courage, the armies of Philopolis welcome you to fight and preserve your freedom. We shall take the arms of the tyrant, and they shall be for the nation. The armies of Philopolis shall never again be an army that oppresses her people, but shall be my sword and shield with which I and all my posterity will protect our people and their sacred liberties.”
“This all I write by the authority of my crown, the might of my armies, and with the full favor of heaven. Let any who contravene this be accursed, and indeed accursed for six generations. Thus I have spoken, and it shall be done.”
The response to this was not applause, but at first stunned silence. In a single act, Cassandra had turned the entire world upside down. She had torn out the foundations of her kingdom’s economy and prepared to rebuild it from scratch. The sheer monumental weight of this decision hung in the air for a long moment. Then, outside the walls, the people heard, and realized what she said was true. They were all free. As the realization spread, men and women wept with joy, shouted in triumph, and began to sing and dance. The roar of excitement, relief, and unbridled joy could not be contained. For nearly ten minutes nothing could be heard beyond the wall of sound which surrounded the temple. Cassandra had already had the support of the remaining army. She had liquidated the nobles. She was popular with the people, and now with this action, her reputation was utterly invulnerable. Woe to the fool who challenged the liberator.
When the tumult had quelled to a point where Cassandra could be heard, she spoke again. “Hear also, the works I will do beyond the borders. You are all aware of the policies of Tyndareus, his ceaseless ambition and pointless warmongering. This shall no longer proceed. We shall never be lacking when the time comes for war, all who challenge us with the last argument of kings shall be undone. But neither shall it be our sole sword, or our only glory. Our nation’s greatness will no longer only be shown on the battlefield. But if indeed one does foolishly think this weakness, let it be known this day, I have signed a new treaty.” She gestured to Seramis and Leonidas. “At my right hand is the prince of Marathon, and the left, the princess of Achaea. This day, our three kingdoms have formed a pact of mutual defense and free trade. An attack on one shall be an attack on three. Indeed, our generals and armies shall coordinate, that should any need for pre-emptive defense arise, then the full fury of three kingdoms will fall upon those who dare to challenge us. It is my pleasure to announce before you all the formal beginning of the Northern Hellas Alliance!” Thus it would be formally declared, but in time all would come to call it by another name: The Pact of Flames.
After another round of applause, mostly from the army, Cassandra continued. “This is the business of my first day upon the throne, and now it is concluded before all of you. I considered it foolhardy to celebrate only myself. What foolish king dedicates the resources of his nation to proclaiming his own glories? Rather, it will be what I do that shall be my glory, and now we shall indeed celebrate, not my ascension, but that that ascension has already meant and will mean anew. As I told you, a new age is dawning, and I shall bring it forth for the sake of my people and indeed, all Hellas. Let the world hear this day, that the heir of Iskandar has taken her throne, and as my ancestor I will shake this world to its foundations. Go now, let the wine flow and the tables be covered with every delicacy. I give it to you as a gift. Let the songs be sung and the harps be played, an anthem of joy to welcome the new age.”
With that, Cassandra walked out, and the other two members of the trio walked with her. They stepped out into a wall of noise as the people of the three kingdoms acclaimed their champions. They strode down into glory, and sat together to a feast for the ages. Cassandra had initially planned for the celebrations to go on to the evening. Her people had other ideas, and the celebrations continued, wild and joyous, for seven days and seven nights. The people came forth from across the whole nation to offer their fealty and their thanks to the queen and her compatriots, and brought with them gifts of every kind. The whole of Philopolis was filled with singing, music, dancing, and feasting, and it only stopped when it seemed the entire country had run out of wine, and the imports from Achaea and Marathon could no longer keep up.
Seramis might have found the party intimidating at first, but in time she came alive. She feasted on the gossip and the secrets that flowed behind the wine. Every rumor, every plot, every scheme that filled the celebration, from the highest to the smallest, she devoured them and delighted in it all. For everyone from princes to former slaves now saw that the future had been opened, and everyone set new plans in motion to take their own part in that future. She took anything of particular concern, and whispered it in Cassandra’s ear that the young queen would be prepared.
It was during one such whispering that Cassandra called Sera and Leon away. They found their way to a quiet room in the castle, and essentially collapsed into the chairs, or in Sera’s case, onto the floor. The party was delightful, but they were all quickly becoming utterly exhausted. Cassandra groaned. “You know, I understand they want to make this a holiday. I’m all for it, truly, but a holi-day, not holi-week. If I have to do this for a week every year I’m going to cut my reign twenty years short, and I don’t have time for that.”
“I mean you managed to basically turn the world upside down in your first few minutes, so I think you might have some time.” Leonidas joked.
Cassandra smiled wearily at him. “It was the right thing to do. And the first thing I had to do now, because I need it to set everything else up. I have to rebuild a kingdom, perhaps rebuild the world. My great-grandmother lived to be ninety-six, so I’ve got a bit less than eighty years to work with at best. I hope that’s enough time.”
“Well, yes, it is the right thing to do, though I’m surprised that’s the reason you did it. No offense, but you always struck me as a bit more pragmatic than idealistic.” Sera added.
“It secures a permanent base of popular support that will never be challenged. It allows be to divide lands that are far too big for me to manage among such a vast array of small tenants that none of them will ever individually be able to challenge my rule even if they did have support. It floods my economy with new traders and artisans to drive down the price of goods, increasing the overall standard of living. Rents from tenant farmers, loan repayments from the artisans, and of course the increase in tax revenue caused by the increase in economic activity ensure that I have a larger and more stable supply of income for my administration than any other ruler in my nation’s history. I have gained a massive new pool of recruits to reform the army, who will be fanatically loyal, and in the event of war it will be simplicity itself to incite support by claiming an enemy would impose slavery once again. Not to mention it ensures that I will have the support of Marathon and Achaea, while also softening the image of Philopolis before the rest of Hellas, making it possible to begin negotiations and gradually bring Hellas and Ionia into our orbit without conflict. It is the single best way for me to ensure I have everything I need in terms of support, money, control, foreign influence, and military power to enact any remaining changes. I am become absolute, and they will praise my name forever for it.” Cassandra concluded with a sly look.
“So yes, exactly the right thing to do. I am become immortal, which is exactly the point. To overawe those in attendance with massive amounts of popular support and the exceptional power of my foreign support to ensure nobody gets any ideas. It’s essentially a bluff to keep anyone from tampering with us until the kingdom gets back on its feet, one which is working quite well. Unfortunately, my primary target for this decided to not make an appearance.”
“Pretty much the entire civilized world showed up.” Leonidas considered with some concern. “Don’t tell me you were expecting a delegation from Albion or the Scythians.”
“No, though it might have been nice. Ultimately, the threat arises not from the uncivilized world, much of a headache as the scythians will be, but that part of the world, which was once uncivilized, and now is becoming civilized. The latins and the Carthaginians have been growing in power, and inevitably, clashed against one another. The ideal state for us would have been that they rendered one another utterly incapable of further expansion. Instead, the Latins in that collection of mud huts they call Roma have become a serious military power, one my predecessor has antagonized by supporting their rivals in Carthage. Sooner or later, their ambitions will drive them east, and we must be ready for them. My hope would have been that an overwhelming display of power, a united front, and popular support would convince them that moving east would be foolish. However if they do not see it, they will not believe it. And of course there are also those who would not be impressed by the whole empire of Iskandar. With the name of Malphus being spoken again, and the Dilluvians returning to the political stage, the forces of that ancient evil will stir once more.” Cassandra mused with some frustration.
“You do have my apologies for that.” Seramis apologized with some embarrassment. “I wouldn’t have used that name if I knew.”
“Keep your apologies, I want your help.” Cassandra replied with a hint of snark that put Sera on edge, before the young queen laughed. “Taking down Tyndareus was just the beginning. Philopolis will face challenges that have not been seen in hundreds of years. A new age is certainly dawning, but making it a golden age and not a dark age is going to be the effort of a lifetime. It is one I cannot accomplish alone.”
“To that end, I have considered much. Leonidas, your actions in the recent campaigns have proven not only your impeccable courage, but your skill and cunning as a leader of men. The army of Philopolis will need to be rebuilt, adapted into something no longer totally dependent on conscription, but a professional corps supplemented by conscripts. In other words, Marathon’s model. Who better than a prince of Marathon to help lead that effort, and then, win glory as a leader of that army.”
Leonidas’s eyes widened as he considered the offer, and then they fell, his face somewhat downcast. “Are you certain this is wise Cass?” he asked carefully. “I am not experienced in this, and I am a second son, even of a foreign kingdom. This is risky.”
“If it were anyone but you, it wouldn’t be risky, it would be downright idiotic.” Cass replied, joking, but then genuine. “I have seen the kind of man you are Leon. I know I have nothing to fear from you. Moreover, if I wanted to simply replicate an existing army, I could acquire men with more experience. But I do not want to simply repeat history, I want to surpass it. To this end, a man unburdened by age, yet with enough wisdom to see the forest and how each and every tree contributes to it, is exactly the man I need.”
“Then, as long as you’ll have me, so be it.” Leonidas said with a grin. “Let the ties between Marathon and Philopolis grow yet deeper, and establish the next great leap in the art of war.”
“Of course, war shall not be the first answer our enemies bring against us in most cases. Nor shall it be our first response to every problem. Among other things, war is expensive. Rather, subtly, intrigue, and diplomacy shall be new tools in our arsenal. Of course with the degradation in the diplomatic corps, our artistic and cultural pursuits, and spycraft, I should need quite possibly the greatest schemer in all Hellas. The fact that she comes with enough firepower to personally rival me is a nice bonus.” Cassandra replied, turning again towards Seramis.
“No need to lay it on so thick. You’re my friend, of course I’ll help you. The fact you let me just do what I like and what I’m good at is just the cherry on top.” Seramis replied, her face entirely smug. “Though do keep in mind, my diet includes solid gold and magic items, and I’ve still got another, oh, five tons or so to put on.”
Cassandra regarded the horse-sized dragoness in front of her, and then the door. She considered how complicated it had already been for Sera to fit through it, and sighed. “I’ll put a line item in the budget for expanding the doors.” She replied, much to Sera’s amusement. “Well, since we’re all going to be hung over later-“ She mentioned, and retrieved another amphora of wine with three glasses, she poured, then paused. “Perhaps I had better find a bowl for you Sera.”
Seramis regarded the trio of glasses, and then called Elijah out of her shadow. “Do you suppose I could do it now?” she asked the familiar cryptically.
“All magic needs three components.” Elijah replied, looking towards the other two. “You only had one before, which is why it never worked. Give it a try.”
Seramis took a deep breath, and then cast with her three components. Herself, the prince she had taken, and the queen who had come to her. A spell cast in solitude no longer, and in arrogance no more.
“Daj mi forma da odam pokraj niv.”
“Niz denovite na svetlina i senka.”
“Spodeluvanje vo smea i vo tagi.”
Then, there was a light and a blue flame, and Seramis took a hesitant step forwards on two legs. Where once the dragoness stood, now stood a young Greek woman, olive-skinned from the warm Mediterranean sun, with eyes blue like dragonfire. Her hair was short and curly, hung close about her ears, around a face at once noble as a lion’s and mischievous as a cat’s. Black scale melted into a flowing black dress that trailed behind her, decorated with spiraling patterns of twisting silver holly vines. About her curling hair there was a crown of silver, with seven red stones set about it.
She stumbled, unused to walking on two legs. Leonidas stepped forwards and caught her before she could fall. She blushed at that, and Leon looked down to make sure he hadn’t grabbed anything inappropriate in his haste. He hadn’t, but the look earned him a slap anyways, much to Cassandra’s amusement. “Oh to hell with this.” Sera sighed, and snapped in some quick changes. The dress split at the back to allow room for a pair of large black wings, still dyed with flowers of flame. It likewise opened below the knee to allow a greater range of motion, particularly for a newly sprouted tail. Thus better balanced, Seramis stood and strode upright. “I swear, how in the world do you manage to balance with such a ridiculous body plan?”
“I have no idea; it apparently has something to do with the inner ear.” Cassandra replied with a shrug. “Still, it does have advantages.” She stepped forwards and offered Seramis a glass, which the princess took gratefully.
“So, how do I look?” Seramis asked, stepping back and giving a slight twirl to show off her newest shape. “It’s another imagined one, a bit of a combination of those I’ve seen.”
“You’ve seen some excellent women.” Cassandra replied with a laugh. “You are every bit as fair and terrible as Persephone herself.” This earned a slightly jealous look from Leon. She grinned at him slyly. “This is an advantage of speaking too much, you learn exactly what to say to a beautiful woman.”
“Hm, she might have had too much to drink. I am still a dragoness.” Seramis demurred, looking somewhat awkwardly at her new hands. “And rather obviously given the wings and tail. Only so far beauty can go among humans.”
“It is further than you think. I think now that I know what Artemis looks like, when she walks under the moon and stars.” Leon replied, and Sera turned vaguely pink. Cassandra cackled, and nodded approvingly.
“Ye gods, there is some Athenian in our mute Laconian after all! Well, clearly she needs to get used to having skin people can see. If she’s going to be blushing like that every five minutes nobody will take her seriously.” Cass snarked, earning a glare from Sera. That earned a smile. “Ah yes, still a dragoness, and undeniably so. You look good Sera. Don’t worry about it. If nothing else, we have another thing to toast to.” She said with a grin, then raised her glass. “To a new form, and a new age.”
Leon raised his own glass. “To friendship, and the good work ahead of us.”
Sera grinned at that, and raised her own to match. “To us, and all the trouble we’re going to get into!”
2024.04.13 06:01 Direct-Caterpillar77 AITA for baking my niece a cake for her first birthday? (New Update)
I am not The OOP, OOP is u/ToastWjelly657
AITA for baking my niece a cake for her first birthday?
Originally posted to AmItheAsshole
TRIGGER WARNING: accusations of infidelity, mentions of infertility, manipulation, sabotage
Original Post Sept 17, 2022
Yesterday was my niece's first birthday and originally the plan for the cake was for my father-in-law to buy a store-bought cake. When my father-in-law mentioned he was buying a store-bought cake for the party I asked if I could bake the birthday cake and smash cake instead. My father-in-law was thrilled at the idea and requested that it be a surprise to my sister and brother-in-law, I saw no issue and agreed. Over the past week, I have spent countless hours on this cake, going in I had very high expectations for the cake and although I did not meet those high expectations I am still happy with the cake and 100% believe it is better than a store-bought cake.
Yesterday at the party when it was time to bring out the cake my father-in-law took the cake out of its hiding spot and brought it into the main area of the party. When my brother-in-law saw the cake he had a big smile and seemed really happy, however when my sister-in-law saw the cake she looked mortified. Quickly my sister-in-law threw on a fake smile and asked my father-in-law about the cake, probably my father-in-law announced that I was the one who made the cake. My sister-in-law gritted her teeth the entire time we sang happy birthday and refused to even try the cake for the whole party.
After I left I was bombarded with messages from my sister-in-law and brother-in-law. The messages were everything from I intentionally sabotaged her daughter‘s first birthday party to because of me all the photos of her daughter‘s first birthday are ruined by the stain of my trashy cake. I didn’t know what to say so I just screenshot all of the texts and sent them to my husband who is currently overseas for the military after I did that everything has just blown up. It feels like brother against brother and like my parents-in-law are just trying to play both sides.
Every Saturday we usually do a family day, usually, we all eat a bunch of good food and do some kind of activity together but this morning my father-in-law asked me to sit out of this week's family day out and I’m crushed. Honestly, I was just trying to be nice and make my niece's birthday even more memorable, I was not trying to take the day away from her but it feels like everyone’s against me and I think I might be the ass.
Edit:
My profile picture is the cake and the theme of the party was cowboys and Texas. That’s why there is the Texas long horn and sheriffs badge.
VERDICT: NOT THE ASSHOLE
Editor's note picture of the cake
2 tiered with a topping of a cow and a sheriffs badge
RELEVANT COMMENTS
Impossible-Quail-679
emotionallydented445
Cosmic_SparkleDust
[deleted]
OOP
Right before I was about to leave for my M&FIL house I got a phone call from my husband, husband was extremely upset and asked me if I had left for his parents yet. I said no and he told me he needed to make me aware of a situation, a few hours before his father called him and shared with him screenshots of a dating app profile containing my name and photos.
Before I could say anything my husband reassured me he knew it was fake. A few things that tipped him off.
• Screenshots from the profile said “less than a mile away” when referring to the distance of the user.
• It was my SIL who found the account. My straight, female, and married SIL just randomly decided to go on bumble and somehow fell upon my profile even though we live over 100 miles apart.
When I got to M&FIL's house FIL rushed out to talk to me, he told me I had every right to be upset but asked me to be the bigger person and not cause any more unnecessary drama.
When I got to SIL, initially she denied everything but after about 2 minutes she couldn’t keep her story straight. Instead of apologizing she just started bawling her eyes out, she blamed the whole thing on pregnancy hormones and tried to play it off as a joke.
My M&FIL both pulled me outside to try and get me to calm down. I asked them why they were taking her side they told me there were no sides and they were just trying to keep the peace.
After they said that I lost it and told them keeping the peace it’s just an excuse used by enablers. I told them that they had a very important decision to make, if they choose to standby SIL they will lose me as consequence.
They told me they were afraid to lose their grandchild and I responded with “You're going to lose a set of grandchildren, either way, it’s either going to be the ones in front of you now or the future grandchildren me and husband will have.”
My husband and I are on the same page and we have both agreed to cut contact with his family unless some kind of just consequence for SIL happens.
Edit:
Background info Husband is currently 12 months into an 18 month deployment for the military.
Edit 2:
I feel like I need to clarify the family relations. I am not biologically related to anyone in this post.
I am married to my husband who is biological related to his brother. BIL is married to SIL FIL & MIL have two biological sons and two daughter-in-law‘s (myself and sister-in-law)
VERDICT: NOT THE ASSHOLE
RELEVANT COMMENTS
OnceUponAMidnte
Amethyst-talon91
Upset_Custard7652
Update
I would first like to say thank you to everyone who commented and sent me information and tools on how to deal with my situation. I have read all comments multiple times and although I didn’t get back to everyone I tried to take all the information as best I could.
My husband and I talked about everything that happened between me and his family, after a lot of back-and-forths we couldn’t agree on how to handle the situation so we decided to do couples therapy.
After therapy, we have both decided to completely cut all communication and ties with his brother and SIL. As for his parents, the plan is for me to no longer go and see them or for me to make any active attempt to communicate or be a part of their lives. If his parents do not attempt to reach out to me for the remainder of my husband‘s deployment (5 months) then we have decided to go no contact with his parents and cut them off completely.
The biggest question I saw in the comments is why does my SIL hate me so much? Here is some more information,
• SIL became pregnant after two weeks of dating BIL, SIL and BIL remained unemployed throughout SIL entire pregnancy and lived 100% off of the means of my in-laws. My husband and I are homeowners and both of us are very successful in our independent careers.
• SIL has always struggled with what she wants to do with her life, she doesn’t like taking care of her baby but doesn’t want to work. She goes back and forth on these grandiose ideas for a career but doesn’t want to go back to college.
About a year and a half ago my SIL started talking about becoming a realtor, but they couldn’t afford the fees and classes required to do so. I had always toyed with the idea of getting my realtors to license so I told my SIL I would happily pay for her classes, fees, etc and she and I could go through the courses together. After a month my SIL bailed on the idea of becoming a realtor but I finish and got my license.
• I am unable to physically have children, I found this out a few years ago, and emotionally I have never recovered. Ever since I found out I refuse to hold or play with any baby, older kids are easier but emotionally I am not mature enough to interact with a baby yet. I have never held my SIL baby and although I have had conversations with her directly as to my reasons as well as my in-laws they take it very personally. I have this issue with all babies even my sister‘s and best friend's baby. I am currently in counseling.
My husband and I have decided that we are going to start looking for a house in my home state so that way I can be closer to my old friends and my family. And no matter which way things go with his parents we both believe some distances is a good idea.
P.S I have not given up on my cake decorating hobby and since then I have made almost a dozen more cakes for friends and neighbors. Thank you to everyone who gave me the confidence for moving forward and not giving up.
THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP
DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7
submitted by Direct-Caterpillar77 to BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]
AITA for baking my niece a cake for her first birthday?
Originally posted to AmItheAsshole
TRIGGER WARNING: accusations of infidelity, mentions of infertility, manipulation, sabotage
Original Post Sept 17, 2022
Yesterday was my niece's first birthday and originally the plan for the cake was for my father-in-law to buy a store-bought cake. When my father-in-law mentioned he was buying a store-bought cake for the party I asked if I could bake the birthday cake and smash cake instead. My father-in-law was thrilled at the idea and requested that it be a surprise to my sister and brother-in-law, I saw no issue and agreed. Over the past week, I have spent countless hours on this cake, going in I had very high expectations for the cake and although I did not meet those high expectations I am still happy with the cake and 100% believe it is better than a store-bought cake.
Yesterday at the party when it was time to bring out the cake my father-in-law took the cake out of its hiding spot and brought it into the main area of the party. When my brother-in-law saw the cake he had a big smile and seemed really happy, however when my sister-in-law saw the cake she looked mortified. Quickly my sister-in-law threw on a fake smile and asked my father-in-law about the cake, probably my father-in-law announced that I was the one who made the cake. My sister-in-law gritted her teeth the entire time we sang happy birthday and refused to even try the cake for the whole party.
After I left I was bombarded with messages from my sister-in-law and brother-in-law. The messages were everything from I intentionally sabotaged her daughter‘s first birthday party to because of me all the photos of her daughter‘s first birthday are ruined by the stain of my trashy cake. I didn’t know what to say so I just screenshot all of the texts and sent them to my husband who is currently overseas for the military after I did that everything has just blown up. It feels like brother against brother and like my parents-in-law are just trying to play both sides.
Every Saturday we usually do a family day, usually, we all eat a bunch of good food and do some kind of activity together but this morning my father-in-law asked me to sit out of this week's family day out and I’m crushed. Honestly, I was just trying to be nice and make my niece's birthday even more memorable, I was not trying to take the day away from her but it feels like everyone’s against me and I think I might be the ass.
Edit:
My profile picture is the cake and the theme of the party was cowboys and Texas. That’s why there is the Texas long horn and sheriffs badge.
VERDICT: NOT THE ASSHOLE
Editor's note picture of the cake
2 tiered with a topping of a cow and a sheriffs badge
RELEVANT COMMENTS
Impossible-Quail-679
NTA when I clicked on your profile my jaw dropped. That cake was amazing. Your SIL and BIL should be extremely grateful. It’s clear you put a lot of time and effort into that cake.OOP
~I actually had to remake the cake last minute because I didn’t like how it was originally turning out. I’ve been trying to get better at my cake decorating skills and it’s by no means my best work but I really really gave it my all.
emotionallydented445
Info:OOP
Do you have a photo of the cake?
Was FIL asked to just pick up a specific cake from a specific store or was he just in charge of the cake in general?
~My profile pic is the cake and he was meant to pick up a cheap grocery store cake as per my sister-in-law.
Cosmic_SparkleDust
They really should be grateful that you went out of the way to plan and make the cake.OOP
Also, Fk your FIL for going along with the idea for you to bake the cake, and then not backing you up after your inlaws threw a fit at the party. Then FIL having the nerve to disinvite you from family day, it seems like there is some deeper grudge being held here over something.
NTA
Old_Preparation_1830She is always had some problem with anything I’ve ever done. This week it’s the cake last week it was the color of my dress
OOPCan I ask an honest question?
It was very nice of you to make the cake, but if you knew that it would bother her, why would you ever offer?
~I honestly had my concerns but my father-in-law insisted he wanted to make it a surprise. That’s one of the reasons I worked so hard on the cake because I didn’t want there to be any problems. And to be honest it wasn’t my sister-in-law‘s birthday party it was my nieces.
[deleted]
NTA That’s easily a $150 cake and looks adorable and professional, what on earth could SIL have a problem with, it’s so much better than anything their $50 could have bought at a store.OOP
[deleted]There’s over $200 worth of ingredients alone 😅
OOPHow??
OOP when asked if there were any plans about the cake regarding looks, theme or flavorButter is expensive and the main ingredient in frosting. Cakes are a lot more expensive to make than people think, on top of it I’m not a professional bakery so I don’t have access to bulk prices.
OOP
There was no specific store or cake in mind, that why we thought it would be okay. she told my FIL that she didn’t even care about what flavor he got.&
The cake was completely on theme, the theme was cowboy rusticAITA For Asking My Mother & Father In Law To Choose Between Their Two Daughter-in-law‘s? Oct 23, 2022 (1 month later)
Right before I was about to leave for my M&FIL house I got a phone call from my husband, husband was extremely upset and asked me if I had left for his parents yet. I said no and he told me he needed to make me aware of a situation, a few hours before his father called him and shared with him screenshots of a dating app profile containing my name and photos.
Before I could say anything my husband reassured me he knew it was fake. A few things that tipped him off.
• Screenshots from the profile said “less than a mile away” when referring to the distance of the user.
• It was my SIL who found the account. My straight, female, and married SIL just randomly decided to go on bumble and somehow fell upon my profile even though we live over 100 miles apart.
When I got to M&FIL's house FIL rushed out to talk to me, he told me I had every right to be upset but asked me to be the bigger person and not cause any more unnecessary drama.
When I got to SIL, initially she denied everything but after about 2 minutes she couldn’t keep her story straight. Instead of apologizing she just started bawling her eyes out, she blamed the whole thing on pregnancy hormones and tried to play it off as a joke.
My M&FIL both pulled me outside to try and get me to calm down. I asked them why they were taking her side they told me there were no sides and they were just trying to keep the peace.
After they said that I lost it and told them keeping the peace it’s just an excuse used by enablers. I told them that they had a very important decision to make, if they choose to standby SIL they will lose me as consequence.
They told me they were afraid to lose their grandchild and I responded with “You're going to lose a set of grandchildren, either way, it’s either going to be the ones in front of you now or the future grandchildren me and husband will have.”
My husband and I are on the same page and we have both agreed to cut contact with his family unless some kind of just consequence for SIL happens.
Edit:
Background info Husband is currently 12 months into an 18 month deployment for the military.
Edit 2:
I feel like I need to clarify the family relations. I am not biologically related to anyone in this post.
I am married to my husband who is biological related to his brother. BIL is married to SIL FIL & MIL have two biological sons and two daughter-in-law‘s (myself and sister-in-law)
VERDICT: NOT THE ASSHOLE
RELEVANT COMMENTS
OnceUponAMidnte
Nta. Is there a history of this kind of behavior?OOP
~She has always been one who craves attention. About six months ago she sent screenshots into the family group chat. She claimed that the landscaper they hired was harassing her and sending her inappropriate messages. The screenshots were cropped weird and I reversed searched them, she literally pulled the screenshots off of Google. My husband brought this to his brothers attention and we kept this between us and didn’t involve mother and father-in-law (they are now aware of the situation).
Amethyst-talon91
Info: My question is what kind of punishment do you want? She's an adult and not their child. Also was she trying to frame you?OOP
Amethyst-talon91My brother and sister-in-law live with mother and father-in-law due to poor financial decisions.
They are quite literally living under their roof.
OOPAnd yes she's under their roof, but do you want her kicked out while pregnant? What punishment do you want?
~Honestly I am furious, this woman tried to destroy my marriage. Granted she’s not all that smart so it didn’t go for every far. I don’t know what I want the punishment to be but this cannot be an “oopsy pregnancy hormones” and no consequence happen.
Upset_Custard7652
What is your BIL saying about his wife’s actionsOOP
He’s overly protective of her and sees no wrong in her.
He thinks me and my husband are severely over reacting and he is actually upset at me for raising my voice at his pregnant wife. He sent a very long angry text message to my husband
To quote part his text directly “ it was just a fucking joke!!!! (my name) had no fucking right to talk to MY WIFE like that. She should count herself fucking lucky I wasn’t there!”
NEW UPDATE
Update
I would first like to say thank you to everyone who commented and sent me information and tools on how to deal with my situation. I have read all comments multiple times and although I didn’t get back to everyone I tried to take all the information as best I could.
My husband and I talked about everything that happened between me and his family, after a lot of back-and-forths we couldn’t agree on how to handle the situation so we decided to do couples therapy.
After therapy, we have both decided to completely cut all communication and ties with his brother and SIL. As for his parents, the plan is for me to no longer go and see them or for me to make any active attempt to communicate or be a part of their lives. If his parents do not attempt to reach out to me for the remainder of my husband‘s deployment (5 months) then we have decided to go no contact with his parents and cut them off completely.
The biggest question I saw in the comments is why does my SIL hate me so much? Here is some more information,
• SIL became pregnant after two weeks of dating BIL, SIL and BIL remained unemployed throughout SIL entire pregnancy and lived 100% off of the means of my in-laws. My husband and I are homeowners and both of us are very successful in our independent careers.
• SIL has always struggled with what she wants to do with her life, she doesn’t like taking care of her baby but doesn’t want to work. She goes back and forth on these grandiose ideas for a career but doesn’t want to go back to college.
About a year and a half ago my SIL started talking about becoming a realtor, but they couldn’t afford the fees and classes required to do so. I had always toyed with the idea of getting my realtors to license so I told my SIL I would happily pay for her classes, fees, etc and she and I could go through the courses together. After a month my SIL bailed on the idea of becoming a realtor but I finish and got my license.
• I am unable to physically have children, I found this out a few years ago, and emotionally I have never recovered. Ever since I found out I refuse to hold or play with any baby, older kids are easier but emotionally I am not mature enough to interact with a baby yet. I have never held my SIL baby and although I have had conversations with her directly as to my reasons as well as my in-laws they take it very personally. I have this issue with all babies even my sister‘s and best friend's baby. I am currently in counseling.
My husband and I have decided that we are going to start looking for a house in my home state so that way I can be closer to my old friends and my family. And no matter which way things go with his parents we both believe some distances is a good idea.
P.S I have not given up on my cake decorating hobby and since then I have made almost a dozen more cakes for friends and neighbors. Thank you to everyone who gave me the confidence for moving forward and not giving up.
THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP
DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7
2024.04.08 06:22 ElectricalAd9254 Open Neutral power from the street caused surges and brightness in lights
Outlet was melted almost through on the left side. Melted halfway through the width of the outlet on the back. The wire was smoked... No insulation and non functioning when tested for load.
Romex split, brittle, and missing insulation. Fell apart in my hand when moving the wires. Romex discolored and wires burnt.
Wires were so bad I attempted to wrap in electrical tape (Neanderthalic thinking). Exterior Romex discolored and burnt. Thinking the wires are toast.
I am a Union Master Finish Carpenter (ok I specialize in doors frames and hardware) by trade and I have some kind of understanding with electrical in houses. However, my limit is replacing outlets, junction box replacement, adding new lights.... basically, anything that can be repaired and worked on OUTSIDE the box. I have bought a few breakers to replace at my home, but have not foraged through that yet.... So there is my expertise and what you will be working with (smiles).
My grandmother in law is moving in with my mother in law so I am trying to get the house in good repair prior to the move in. I have replaced a few 3-way switches and outlets to find some real unsettling conditions. (See pictures). Sorry for the long story details but they (I believe) are crucial here. I was told by my mother in law that about 7 years ago (when I just started dating her daughter), she had an issue with the lights in the house getting "very bright" and then dimming (was not able to confirm duration or intensity). PGE (Portland General Electric) found what I was explained to be an open neutral at the street. My understanding was the current was pumped into the house, causing the weird lighting issues. There were a couple surge protectors that were ruined and the water heater blew. PGE did something at the street I was told and they paid for the water heater to be replaced and a few other items I guess (not real sure with what was done - the paper work seems to be missing). I do plan on calling PGE to see if they can provide me any information. So fast forward 7ish years.
Now, I THINK that the conditions of the wires would be a direct result of the "open Neutral" issue. I have not moved past the kitchen yet (I plan on taking the shroud/cover off the panel to see if any of the wires going into the box are compromised). Also, being a house from the 60's lots of the switches and outlets have just failed. I have found in the bedrooms the switches for the overhead light are toast... when used, the light flickers and barely turns on (have to push up on the toggle switch after in the 'up" position to get the light to come on. Haven't identified if is age or related to the surges.
I would wager a bet that this is a 1968? about a 1900 - 2400 square foot house with 2 bathrooms, 3 bedrooms and an attached garage (as well as the standard dining room, kitchen, one hallway that leads to the bedroom area, and the living room).
Questions and Concerns:
(I don't seem my pics on here... I will figure that out and get them up)
Thanks all,
Struggling Son - In - Law
submitted by ElectricalAd9254 to AskElectricians [link] [comments]
Romex split, brittle, and missing insulation. Fell apart in my hand when moving the wires. Romex discolored and wires burnt.
Wires were so bad I attempted to wrap in electrical tape (Neanderthalic thinking). Exterior Romex discolored and burnt. Thinking the wires are toast.
I am a Union Master Finish Carpenter (ok I specialize in doors frames and hardware) by trade and I have some kind of understanding with electrical in houses. However, my limit is replacing outlets, junction box replacement, adding new lights.... basically, anything that can be repaired and worked on OUTSIDE the box. I have bought a few breakers to replace at my home, but have not foraged through that yet.... So there is my expertise and what you will be working with (smiles).
My grandmother in law is moving in with my mother in law so I am trying to get the house in good repair prior to the move in. I have replaced a few 3-way switches and outlets to find some real unsettling conditions. (See pictures). Sorry for the long story details but they (I believe) are crucial here. I was told by my mother in law that about 7 years ago (when I just started dating her daughter), she had an issue with the lights in the house getting "very bright" and then dimming (was not able to confirm duration or intensity). PGE (Portland General Electric) found what I was explained to be an open neutral at the street. My understanding was the current was pumped into the house, causing the weird lighting issues. There were a couple surge protectors that were ruined and the water heater blew. PGE did something at the street I was told and they paid for the water heater to be replaced and a few other items I guess (not real sure with what was done - the paper work seems to be missing). I do plan on calling PGE to see if they can provide me any information. So fast forward 7ish years.
Now, I THINK that the conditions of the wires would be a direct result of the "open Neutral" issue. I have not moved past the kitchen yet (I plan on taking the shroud/cover off the panel to see if any of the wires going into the box are compromised). Also, being a house from the 60's lots of the switches and outlets have just failed. I have found in the bedrooms the switches for the overhead light are toast... when used, the light flickers and barely turns on (have to push up on the toggle switch after in the 'up" position to get the light to come on. Haven't identified if is age or related to the surges.
I would wager a bet that this is a 1968? about a 1900 - 2400 square foot house with 2 bathrooms, 3 bedrooms and an attached garage (as well as the standard dining room, kitchen, one hallway that leads to the bedroom area, and the living room).
Questions and Concerns:
- Statute of limitations to get them to cover this? Is this possible after compensation has already been paid out for this claim (maybe legal but any knowledge shared would be graciously accepted). I don't want to go legal if at all possible, but I need to know if I have ground to stand on.
- Is the term I am using correct? Open Neutral? If not, what would be the proper term to identify this situation?
- I am leaning toward hiring an electrician to evaluate and recommend course of actions, however, I would be at their mercy of what the limits of repairs are
- My thought is to get up above (power off of course), Cut 4' or so of wire off the end to see how far the damage goes, putting in a junction box, add new Romex from the j-box to the light fixture. Is this a good idea if the wire seems to be ok where I cut it at? Insulation still good etc? Will I run in to any inspection issues with a set up like this?
- I am trying to do this on a budget for 2 retired people. I would rather not replace ALL the wiring in the house on our dime. Please any incite on how to proceed would be great
- I have replaced some of the outlets in the kitchen with GFCIs and switches. Should I stop, as this could cause more issues with an electrician trying to review/diagnose the situations (yes, the damn carpenter is looking out for the convenience of the sparky...)
(I don't seem my pics on here... I will figure that out and get them up)
Thanks all,
Struggling Son - In - Law
2024.04.07 18:44 Loud-Ad-5836 MOB tried to ruin the wedding and blame the bride.
My (now) husband and I were having our wedding in my country of origin. It was a small intimate affair, with only our direct family and two of our closest friends. We were less than 20 ppl, so we decided to rent an Airbnb. Our budget was super tight so we tried to DIY as much as possible, which was a bit difficult having to organise everything from abroad ( my husband and I live in his country of origin. I’m keeping these details vague on purpose, in case my family find this thread).
My mom was helping me a lot with the organising since she was there and could physically go see the venue or talk to some of the vendors we were using and I was immensely grateful to her for that.
The problems started when we flew to my mom’s a few days before the wedding so we could get everything sorted before the Big day. That included a couple of dress fittings, tastings, collecting decor and driving to the venue we had rented. Two days before the wedding, I picked up my bridesmaid and best friend since childhood and the 4 of us (husband, mom, bm and bride) drove 4+hrs from my mom’s to the venue. The car was so full there was barely no space to breathe and we even had to leave some decorations behind because they couldn’t hit. I also forgot to bring drinking water, thinking we could easily buy that near the Airbnb. Because we were in charge of the decor, I tasked my brothers and sisters to bring the food, but they got stuck at work and with running errands and told me while we were already 1 hr into our trip that they were not going to make it to the venue at the same time as us, but rather quite late that day.
Upon arrival, we unloaded the car and I got to work with the decorations. Halfway through this my mom started making passive aggressive comments about being hungry and not having anything to eat, even though it wasn’t my fault that my brothers couldn’t arrive earlier with the food and that we weren’t told until we were already on the highway and couldn’t stop for shopping. I offered to go down to the nearest village to buy some snacks while we waited for my brothers. While on the road looking for a shop, I received a message from my mom that read “it is good to see how little you care about your family”. I cried while driving because I didn’t understand why she was being so nasty, when it wasn’t my fault that food hadn’t arrived and also I was doing everything in my power to fix that problem.
The next day, was decorating day. It was also the day when most of our guests would arrive. My sister bought some flower so that we could do bouquets, and I cooked some of the food for the next day. It was all going well until I started setting the table for dinner. My mom decided to put 3 tea candles on a plate too small for them, in the middle of the table (an antique wooden table with no cover) and I told her not to do that unless she could find a candle holder to put them on because I was worried about wax spills and potential fire damage. The owner of the house had also very specifically said instructed that we couldn’t have open flames, only candles inside tall holders.
She got quite mad and stormed off saying things like “i know my opinion doesn’t matter in this house” Then later on, while I separated and cut the flowers for the bouquets she came over to help and was very sheepishly giving me suggestions. But I told her calmly that my husband and I had already discussed the bouquets at length and had come up with a style that I was sticking to. Even showed her a photo of them. It all seemed to be ok at that point.
During dinner, I was so exhausted from her behaviour that I asked my bridesmaid if she would be willing to take on more responsibilities and help with with what my mom was supposed to help with (essentially just communicating with the guests and the vendors). I know now that I should have discussed it with my mom first to let her know I was changing people’s responsibilities, but I was so angry at her passive aggressiveness that I didn’t talk to her about it. The next morning (wedding morning), while my bridesmaid, husband and I were decorating the ceremony room before I went to get ready, my mom pulled me aside into a separate room to chat. In there she told me that I had been a horrible daughter, that I was being aggressive and violent towards her (wtf?) and that I had made the biggest mistake of my life mistreating her. She then went on to say that I never listened or cared about her opinion, that I never cared about when she was hungry but rather only about sticking to a plan even if it hurt others and how dare I give her responsibilities to that “other woman”. While she was saying these things my husband arrived, he could see through a window that I looked distressed and wanted to support me. They do not speak each other’s language, and I didn’t know how they were going to communicate. Until my mom forced me to translate for him all those insults that she had already thrown at me. So I had to listen to her belittling me yet again, while also try my best to translate so my husband could know what she was saying, without showing emotions because she would have used that against me. He was shaking with rage because he knows that most of what she wad saying was unfair and/or untrue. But he kept his cool so that my mom could blow off some steam and we could try and keep the drama to a minimum. She always does that, causes drama and then once she’s had her say she will calm down and behave as if nothing had happened; that is what I was trying to achieve for the sake of my wedding. She left the room feeling pretty good with herself and I broke down crying. My husband was comforting me, then my bridesmaid saw us and came to comfort me too. My husband’s mom saw my crying and wanted to comfort me as well (we get along really well and support each other a lot). My mom walked by and saw them all hugging my while I cried and she blew off the handle. Started screaming that I was a drama queen, that all I wanted was everyone’s attention, that I was probably twisting her words. Then she started screaming and my husband, her mom and my bridesmaid to get the f*** out of that room because what had happened between me and her was a family matter and they shouldn’t mind their own business. I was so distraught that I couldn’t say a word. My friend tried to defend me by saying “hold on a minute, I don’t know what happened o was just hugging my friend”. But my mom shouted at her in the most aggressive voice I have ever heard “You SHUT THE FUCK UP. SHUT UP. This is not your business so SHUT UP”. My husband’s mom tried to intervene and my mom shouted at her (in my nil’s language as well!) “YOU SHUT UP TOO! Shut up!!” They all started yelling at each other until my brother came and whisked my mom away, who was dissolving herself into tears.
At this point my heart was completely shattered and we even considered cancelling the wedding. But we had both worked so hard and scraped our pockets for our last pennies just to pay for that wedding, we were not about to let her ruin it.
So up I went to hair and makeup, the vendors arrived and everything went without a hitch for a while. My mom came over and apologised although her apology was a bit lacking in my opinion. She literally said “even though everything I said was true and I had the right to tell you, I apologise for telling you on your wedding morning”. I decided to just accept her apology hoping that it would calm her down and I could have a happy rest of my wedding. Boy was I wrong.
Later, everyone was in the ceremony room waiting, my husband and I saw each other for the first time all dressed up and cried and laughed. It was joyful. But then he walked down the aisle with his mom and I was left alone with my mom. She started crying saying “how dare you invite that woman here. How dare you give her those responsibilities. She is not part of our family, you have disappointed me. Never again will I let that woman step foot in our house ever again.”
Cue my song. Walking down the aisle with my mom crying her eyes out (not with joy of seeing her daughter be married) and me wishing more than anything to have decided to walk on my own.
After the ceremony things calmed down a bit but not it picked back up during dinner. My now mother in law stood up to make a toast. She said “thank you for making my son so happy. And thank you for introducing me to your lovely mom who has helped me a lot these past few months” (which is true, my mom did help her a lot when she was going through some stuff) I looked at my mom to translate the toast for her and I saw her turn her head away and heard her say “nope. Nah. Nope. I am not toasting to that woman. No thanks”.
The next day we were all having breakfast together and after my mom’s behaviour no one wanted to sit next to her or talk to her. It was a bit awkward. But we all kind of just did our thing, had our breakfast and went on about our day. Our guests left and we took down the decorations, slowly filling the car. My mom decided to go home in someone else’s car so that she didn’t have to share the space with “that other woman” (meaning my bridesmaid). The drive back was actually bliss just her, my husband and I listening to music and having fun. We dropped her off and home and then drove to my mom’s.
She received me with some nasty passive aggressive words, pretending to be nice.
The next morning while my husband was away, she lectured me for nearly an hour about how horrible a daughter I am, how I constantly disrespect her, how ungrateful I am to behave that way when she has done nothing but support me and how now, because of me, my husband’s family hates her and thinks she is a monster. How I probably twisted her words and told a story that benefited me since she doesn’t speak their language and I do.
My husband and I flew back home shortly after and I cried about it for 3 months. Even felt that the image I had of my mom was dead and for a while I didn’t recognise her. Our relationship is ok now, but I see her for who she is now and I will never be that scared little girl who believes her lies anymore. But It still hurts when I think about it and To this day my mom still blames me and when she talks about the wedding and what happened she refers to it as “my shady business”.
I have thought about writing this story for quite a while now but I wasn’t sure because part of me still believed that it was somehow my fault that she behaved that way, that maybe I did something horrible to her without realising. But after doing some therapy and discussing with my husband at length I’ve realised that there is absolutely nothing I could have done that could have excused her behaviour. There was nothing I could have done differently to prevent her from blowing off the handle because it’s not about me, it’s about her own unhealed issues. I’ve made my peace with it now.
submitted by Loud-Ad-5836 to weddingshaming [link] [comments]
My mom was helping me a lot with the organising since she was there and could physically go see the venue or talk to some of the vendors we were using and I was immensely grateful to her for that.
The problems started when we flew to my mom’s a few days before the wedding so we could get everything sorted before the Big day. That included a couple of dress fittings, tastings, collecting decor and driving to the venue we had rented. Two days before the wedding, I picked up my bridesmaid and best friend since childhood and the 4 of us (husband, mom, bm and bride) drove 4+hrs from my mom’s to the venue. The car was so full there was barely no space to breathe and we even had to leave some decorations behind because they couldn’t hit. I also forgot to bring drinking water, thinking we could easily buy that near the Airbnb. Because we were in charge of the decor, I tasked my brothers and sisters to bring the food, but they got stuck at work and with running errands and told me while we were already 1 hr into our trip that they were not going to make it to the venue at the same time as us, but rather quite late that day.
Upon arrival, we unloaded the car and I got to work with the decorations. Halfway through this my mom started making passive aggressive comments about being hungry and not having anything to eat, even though it wasn’t my fault that my brothers couldn’t arrive earlier with the food and that we weren’t told until we were already on the highway and couldn’t stop for shopping. I offered to go down to the nearest village to buy some snacks while we waited for my brothers. While on the road looking for a shop, I received a message from my mom that read “it is good to see how little you care about your family”. I cried while driving because I didn’t understand why she was being so nasty, when it wasn’t my fault that food hadn’t arrived and also I was doing everything in my power to fix that problem.
The next day, was decorating day. It was also the day when most of our guests would arrive. My sister bought some flower so that we could do bouquets, and I cooked some of the food for the next day. It was all going well until I started setting the table for dinner. My mom decided to put 3 tea candles on a plate too small for them, in the middle of the table (an antique wooden table with no cover) and I told her not to do that unless she could find a candle holder to put them on because I was worried about wax spills and potential fire damage. The owner of the house had also very specifically said instructed that we couldn’t have open flames, only candles inside tall holders.
She got quite mad and stormed off saying things like “i know my opinion doesn’t matter in this house” Then later on, while I separated and cut the flowers for the bouquets she came over to help and was very sheepishly giving me suggestions. But I told her calmly that my husband and I had already discussed the bouquets at length and had come up with a style that I was sticking to. Even showed her a photo of them. It all seemed to be ok at that point.
During dinner, I was so exhausted from her behaviour that I asked my bridesmaid if she would be willing to take on more responsibilities and help with with what my mom was supposed to help with (essentially just communicating with the guests and the vendors). I know now that I should have discussed it with my mom first to let her know I was changing people’s responsibilities, but I was so angry at her passive aggressiveness that I didn’t talk to her about it. The next morning (wedding morning), while my bridesmaid, husband and I were decorating the ceremony room before I went to get ready, my mom pulled me aside into a separate room to chat. In there she told me that I had been a horrible daughter, that I was being aggressive and violent towards her (wtf?) and that I had made the biggest mistake of my life mistreating her. She then went on to say that I never listened or cared about her opinion, that I never cared about when she was hungry but rather only about sticking to a plan even if it hurt others and how dare I give her responsibilities to that “other woman”. While she was saying these things my husband arrived, he could see through a window that I looked distressed and wanted to support me. They do not speak each other’s language, and I didn’t know how they were going to communicate. Until my mom forced me to translate for him all those insults that she had already thrown at me. So I had to listen to her belittling me yet again, while also try my best to translate so my husband could know what she was saying, without showing emotions because she would have used that against me. He was shaking with rage because he knows that most of what she wad saying was unfair and/or untrue. But he kept his cool so that my mom could blow off some steam and we could try and keep the drama to a minimum. She always does that, causes drama and then once she’s had her say she will calm down and behave as if nothing had happened; that is what I was trying to achieve for the sake of my wedding. She left the room feeling pretty good with herself and I broke down crying. My husband was comforting me, then my bridesmaid saw us and came to comfort me too. My husband’s mom saw my crying and wanted to comfort me as well (we get along really well and support each other a lot). My mom walked by and saw them all hugging my while I cried and she blew off the handle. Started screaming that I was a drama queen, that all I wanted was everyone’s attention, that I was probably twisting her words. Then she started screaming and my husband, her mom and my bridesmaid to get the f*** out of that room because what had happened between me and her was a family matter and they shouldn’t mind their own business. I was so distraught that I couldn’t say a word. My friend tried to defend me by saying “hold on a minute, I don’t know what happened o was just hugging my friend”. But my mom shouted at her in the most aggressive voice I have ever heard “You SHUT THE FUCK UP. SHUT UP. This is not your business so SHUT UP”. My husband’s mom tried to intervene and my mom shouted at her (in my nil’s language as well!) “YOU SHUT UP TOO! Shut up!!” They all started yelling at each other until my brother came and whisked my mom away, who was dissolving herself into tears.
At this point my heart was completely shattered and we even considered cancelling the wedding. But we had both worked so hard and scraped our pockets for our last pennies just to pay for that wedding, we were not about to let her ruin it.
So up I went to hair and makeup, the vendors arrived and everything went without a hitch for a while. My mom came over and apologised although her apology was a bit lacking in my opinion. She literally said “even though everything I said was true and I had the right to tell you, I apologise for telling you on your wedding morning”. I decided to just accept her apology hoping that it would calm her down and I could have a happy rest of my wedding. Boy was I wrong.
Later, everyone was in the ceremony room waiting, my husband and I saw each other for the first time all dressed up and cried and laughed. It was joyful. But then he walked down the aisle with his mom and I was left alone with my mom. She started crying saying “how dare you invite that woman here. How dare you give her those responsibilities. She is not part of our family, you have disappointed me. Never again will I let that woman step foot in our house ever again.”
Cue my song. Walking down the aisle with my mom crying her eyes out (not with joy of seeing her daughter be married) and me wishing more than anything to have decided to walk on my own.
After the ceremony things calmed down a bit but not it picked back up during dinner. My now mother in law stood up to make a toast. She said “thank you for making my son so happy. And thank you for introducing me to your lovely mom who has helped me a lot these past few months” (which is true, my mom did help her a lot when she was going through some stuff) I looked at my mom to translate the toast for her and I saw her turn her head away and heard her say “nope. Nah. Nope. I am not toasting to that woman. No thanks”.
The next day we were all having breakfast together and after my mom’s behaviour no one wanted to sit next to her or talk to her. It was a bit awkward. But we all kind of just did our thing, had our breakfast and went on about our day. Our guests left and we took down the decorations, slowly filling the car. My mom decided to go home in someone else’s car so that she didn’t have to share the space with “that other woman” (meaning my bridesmaid). The drive back was actually bliss just her, my husband and I listening to music and having fun. We dropped her off and home and then drove to my mom’s.
She received me with some nasty passive aggressive words, pretending to be nice.
The next morning while my husband was away, she lectured me for nearly an hour about how horrible a daughter I am, how I constantly disrespect her, how ungrateful I am to behave that way when she has done nothing but support me and how now, because of me, my husband’s family hates her and thinks she is a monster. How I probably twisted her words and told a story that benefited me since she doesn’t speak their language and I do.
My husband and I flew back home shortly after and I cried about it for 3 months. Even felt that the image I had of my mom was dead and for a while I didn’t recognise her. Our relationship is ok now, but I see her for who she is now and I will never be that scared little girl who believes her lies anymore. But It still hurts when I think about it and To this day my mom still blames me and when she talks about the wedding and what happened she refers to it as “my shady business”.
I have thought about writing this story for quite a while now but I wasn’t sure because part of me still believed that it was somehow my fault that she behaved that way, that maybe I did something horrible to her without realising. But after doing some therapy and discussing with my husband at length I’ve realised that there is absolutely nothing I could have done that could have excused her behaviour. There was nothing I could have done differently to prevent her from blowing off the handle because it’s not about me, it’s about her own unhealed issues. I’ve made my peace with it now.
2024.04.01 01:05 weaverlilly Backyard Reception Timing?
Planning a backyard reception for my daughter. & daughter-in-law (eloped in January). Reception for approx. 60 people is scheduled from 1-4 p.m. with catered BBQ & bartender under a tent. Brides want to keep it low-key. I've ordered a small decorative cake for pics & sheet cake to feed guests.
Since the brides won't be making a grand entrance, and there's no plan for specific toasts, I'm wondering when/how to do the cake cutting? Before we start service for the meal (buffet style) so the cake can be cut & ready for dessert?
Thinking this may be how it goes:
1 - 2 p.m. Welcome guests; photos; cocktails & charcuterie appetizers
2 - 2:15 p.m. Cake Cutting/pics
2:25 p.m. Buffet starts for BBQ Meal
Thoughts? Advice?
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Since the brides won't be making a grand entrance, and there's no plan for specific toasts, I'm wondering when/how to do the cake cutting? Before we start service for the meal (buffet style) so the cake can be cut & ready for dessert?
Thinking this may be how it goes:
1 - 2 p.m. Welcome guests; photos; cocktails & charcuterie appetizers
2 - 2:15 p.m. Cake Cutting/pics
2:25 p.m. Buffet starts for BBQ Meal
Thoughts? Advice?