🌿 Detailed Overview:
A personal and transformative exploration of Tantra from a woman's perspective. Brooks shares her journey into the world of Tantric practices, detailing her experiences and insights as she delves into this ancient spiritual path. The book offers a unique blend of memoir, practical guidance, and philosophical reflections, providing readers with a comprehensive understanding of how Tantra can lead to spiritual awakening, deep personal growth, and ecstatic experiences.
🔍 Key Themes and Insights:
Personal Journey: Brooks begins with her own story, describing how she was drawn to Tantra and the initial steps of her journey. Her personal narrative provides a relatable and engaging entry point for readers new to Tantric practices.
The Essence of Tantra: The book explains the core principles of Tantra, emphasizing its focus on awakening and expanding consciousness through the integration of sexual energy. Brooks demystifies Tantra, presenting it as a holistic spiritual path that encompasses all aspects of life.
Feminine Perspective: A significant theme in the book is the exploration of Tantra from a woman's perspective. Brooks discusses how Tantric practices can empower women, helping them reclaim their sexual and spiritual autonomy and connect deeply with their inner selves.
Practical Techniques: Brooks offers a variety of practical exercises and techniques for readers to explore, including breathwork, meditation, and visualization. These practices are designed to help individuals awaken their sexual energy, deepen their awareness, and experience ecstatic states.
Initiation and Transformation: The book details Brooks' initiation into Tantra, highlighting the transformative power of these practices. She shares her experiences of deep personal and spiritual transformation, illustrating the profound impact of Tantric awakening.
Ecstatic States: A central theme is the pursuit of ecstatic experiences through Tantric practices. Brooks describes how these states can be achieved and the profound insights and healing they can bring.
Integration of Body and Spirit: Brooks emphasizes the importance of integrating the physical and spiritual aspects of existence. She discusses how Tantric practices can help individuals cultivate a deeper connection between their body, mind, and spirit.
Healing and Empowerment: The book explores how Tantra can be a path of healing and empowerment, particularly for women. Brooks discusses how Tantric practices can help release trauma, enhance self-awareness, and foster a sense of spiritual empowerment.
Relationship and Intimacy: Brooks addresses the role of relationships and intimacy in Tantric practice. She provides insights into how partners can explore Tantra together, enhancing their connection and deepening their spiritual and emotional bond.
Audience Takeaway:
"Tantric Awakening: A Woman's Initiation into the Path of Ecstasy" offers a deeply personal and insightful guide to Tantra, particularly for women seeking spiritual and personal growth. Valerie Brooks provides a unique perspective on Tantric practices, emphasizing their potential for empowerment, healing, and ecstatic awakening. Readers will gain practical tools for exploring Tantra, understand the transformative power of these practices, and be inspired by Brooks' journey of initiation and awakening.
💌 Your Experiences and Reflections:
Have you explored Tantric practices in your own spiritual journey? How has Valerie Brooks' perspective on Tantra influenced your understanding or practice? Share your experiences and reflections on the themes of empowerment, healing, and ecstatic awakening in Tantra. Let's discuss the insights gained from Brooks' book and how they resonate with your own path of spiritual and personal growth.

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In the 19, nearly 20, years I have lived my life, I was raised a Christian by American conservatives in a middle class environment and am fortunate to experience countless memories of joy, laughter, and growth with (mostly) everybody I have met. Each memory with the people in my life holds a special place in my heart, and I will forever cherish the bond we built.
The thing is that until the end of eighth grade, I had a strange obsession with East Asia. Looking back, it was very embarrassing and I condemn my parents for enabling me to become a weeaboo (by “weeaboo”, I mean “a person who is overly obsessed with East Asian culture, especially Japanese culture, to the point that they fetishize the culture in an unhealthy way”). I was the textbook example of a weeaboo who had a terrible case of “yellow fever” (sexual preference towards East Asians). Loving the image of East Asian culture without having any real idea what it stood for and seeing the East as a utopia, my fetishization of East Asia, especially Japan, was born out of the shame I have with the Western culture I was raised in. I never felt like I could fit in with my Western peers who I often looked down upon and did not want to be associated with. It got to the point that I became unsatisfied with my home town, my physical appearance, and even my closest friends. This combined with the surge in anime, K-pop, and other media on the internet really got me hooked and believing really fetish-y things about the Sinosphere. I hate being reminded of it and have tried to move on.
However, I am thankful for my exposure to Eastern culture, though it was through a very bastardized, Westernized lens. I am grateful for my exposure, even though it started out with something as intellectually undemanding as Vocaloid music (songs sung by a Japanese voice synthesizer). The best part about the exposure was that it helped me leave Christianity and join Buddhism at age 11, which greatly helped with my mental health considering I was experiencing suicidal thoughts since the age of 8. Though I had awful misunderstandings of Buddhism in the beginning and still do not really have a Buddhist teacher, I am glad that I have the resources to connect myself with other Buddhists and take refuge in the Triple Gem.
As I left my gross misconceptions of the Sinosphere behind back when I was 14 while still having a healthy interest in it, my eyes were eventually opened to perils which threaten not only the homelands of Buddhism (East, South, and Southeast Asia), but also the sustainability of modern humans. These two perils are Western culture and capitalist fascism.
The West exoticizes and misrepresents Buddhism and the culture of its home, the East, as a whole. I am ashamed to be born in a culture where this was encouraged, which I am worried could lead me to fetishizing Eastern culture again.
But what I know for sure is that the West’s hyperindividualism is harming people, both those whose lands are invaded and its own people. This combined with the West’s growing rejection of education, including that of the knowledge the West itself has given to the world for humanity’s benefit, makes it clear that it is lacking some of the Sinosphere’s cultural strengths. Everybody should hold collectivism and education to the same degree that the Sinosphere does, otherwise we would be left with an unsustainable society that would destroy itself.
There is nothing wrong with speaking Western languages, eating Western foods, watching (most types of) Western media, wearing Western clothes, and especially nothing wrong with using Western inventions, but we are now seeing that the West’s hyperindividualism and rejection of education is destructive and spreading like a cancer.
It is only Buddhists who make an effort to assimilate to the East (had they not been born into it) who can see the West with its hyperindividualism and uneducatedness, promoted by its creation of its spreading ideologies such as capitalist fascism and social Darwinism, for what it really is: a cancer. I can now see the direction the United States, the most populated and powerful country in the West, is going due to the rise of ultra-capitalism and/or fascism supporters.
Rarely the phrase “Western”, as in “formed by the combined foundations of Greco-Roman civilization and Western Christianity” (Gabbe), raised positive thoughts in my mind since I learned about it shortly after discovering Buddhism. “Western” when used in the context of medicine is an exception to this, but we are now seeing more and more Westerners dishonor the progress their ancestors made towards modern, mainstream, dare I say, Western medicine as they fall for anti-vaccine and anti-mask pseudoscience.
Nowadays, some who use the word in a derogatory context are uneducated reactionaries that bash anything and everything Western, yet hypocritically promote the Western political ideology of fascism. A strength that a majority (though now a decreasing number) of Western countries have is their progressivism, supporting scientific advancements, women’s rights, racial equality, and the LGBT+. However, this is not just becoming less common; being a progressive Westerner is not enough, not enough to end Western imperialism, to save the sacred truths taught to us by the Shakyamuni Buddha, or to empower the working class.
Although I never fully approved of Western culture after my weeaboo phase ended, my early teen self still ended up falling into the anti-social justice warrior side of YouTube that I now recognized hindered my understanding of what actually ruined my country, the United States of America. I still did not feel comfortable calling myself a Westerner but mainly because the West did not widely accept Buddhism and has several times in its history persecuted Buddhists. At the same time, I was deceived by a bastardized form of Buddhism common among Westerners (known as “secular Buddhism”, which picks and chooses aspects of the Buddha’s teachings instead of accepting them as a whole), so I was a bit more of the classic, stereotypical atheist neckbeard who fetishized the East up until 2020. Since then, my views became more progressive similar to those of American liberals and I denounced traditionalist Western beliefs, but like the average American liberal, I did not see Western culture, both traditional and progressive, as the peril I now see it. It was not until around the end of 2023 when I discovered the Western problem.
It was a slow burn that started with my discovery of Buddhists on the internet talking about how the West misrepresented Buddhism to appeal to “self-help” consumerists, Christians, and New Age followers. In the Westerner, I originally saw only a person who followed harmless customs, traditions, and other norms that came from a part of the world where Buddhism was not the dominant religion (if you could even call the non-theistic dharma as taught by the Gautama Buddha a religion). And so, I did not believe that Western civilization needed to fall for the safety of the dharma, let alone for its own people. After all, I thought to myself, the West has contributed so much to science and the modern world as we know it. I still believe to this day that there are no superior cultures and that each one simply has its own unique strengths and weaknesses, some of which are only subjective. However, while looking through Buddhist forums, I was shocked to hear about the West’s pollution of Buddhism and my knowledge on Buddhism skyrocketed as I learned that I fell victim to the Dunning-Kruger effect. I started reading sutras and immersing myself with Buddhism by listening to those who have much more experience than I do. There are hardly any Buddhists in my community and the only Buddhist center within reach is a New Kadampa Tradition meditation center (FYI: the New Kadampa Tradition must be avoided since it has a reputation for financially exploiting members and its monastics have allegations of drug trafficking and sexual abuse), so books and the internet are all I have left.
Practicing Buddhism in the West is nearly impossible without a community, without a Buddhist teacher, without any resources written by Eastern Buddhists. Reddit user u/Tendai-Student, a “lay Tendai Student [sic] with aspirations to become a Priest [sic]” states the following:
It is exceedingly challenging for a Westerner who is interested in Buddhism to find reliable information. Bookstores' Buddhist sections are rife with myths about the religion (we will come to some of these misconceptions below). Buddhism-related disinformation abounds in university classes. Misinformation about Buddhism abounds in publications with a Buddhist theme. Even Buddhism-related english-speaking [sic] Reddit boards are prone to carry false information.
Buddhism is constantly distorted in the same way: to make it more agreeable to Abrahamic faiths(especially Christianity in the west) [sic]. To imply that it is subject to Western standards, Western religion, and Western consumerism and materialism.
…Asian teachers are frequently excluded from English-speaking Buddhist places (meditation centers, university forums, periodicals). Asians make up the majority of Buddhists in the United States, despite the fact that popular images of Buddhism in the West make it appear otherwise. In the minds of Westerners, Buddhism is a religion of white converts. They don't even pay attention to the odd lack of Asians in some Buddhist areas. (u/Tendai-Student)
It is no wonder that I went through a phase when I was a weeaboo with “yellow fever”. The Westerner commodifies and commercializes these Buddhist practices and East Asian customs like they do with several other cultures. Its misuse and stealing of Buddhism is the worst because its teachings are for us to end suffering by ridding ourselves of the three poisons: greed, ignorance, and hatred (which the Westerner promotes).
My realization of this drew me away from the West, similar to when my obsession with the East began. The difference is that my interest in the East now is not because of a fantasy born out of misguidance, especially not a sexual one. I now know that there is more to the East than its pop culture. But I cannot help thinking that none of this would have happened and I would better understand Buddhism had I been born to and raised by Buddhists in East Asia, or even a majority Buddhist country in South or Southeast Asia.
However, the possibility of a cycle starting with a yo-yoing fetishization of the East makes me anxious. When I realized what I was doing at first was fetishization, I did further research and found out that the West is to blame for its portrayal of the East in its media. This in turn makes me denounce the West and brings me back towards my obsession with the Sinosphere, which could lead to more fetishization.
Despite this, I am glad that at the very least, my interest is more than just wanting to live a kawaii lifestyle, hoping to have a “submissive housewife who will look young forever”, or all that neckbeard squick. I do have to say that there is something else that is drawing me towards the Sinosphere, not to mention that it is the region where Buddhism is dominant (the same is true to a lesser extent with the Indosphere). Even though I am not a huge fan of tradition since I am very progressive, when a region’s culture gets something right, they get it right. In addition to Buddhist values, the Sinosphere holds education and collectivism to a high degree. It is no wonder I find their people so much more intelligent and caring than people from my culture.
It is common knowledge that countries such as Japan, China, South Korea, and Singapore have the highest average IQs. To add to this (unbeknownst to many), even less developed countries, e.g. Mongolia, with high Buddhist populations around the same region, have average IQs higher than developing and undeveloped nations outside the region. The most agreed upon reason for this is cultural factors rather than genetic or economic factors. To conclude, Buddhism combined with values in the East Asian cultural sphere creates the best “brains” to represent humanity, thus the West should make way for them, especially considering the East’s superior collectivism.
Of course cultures do not stay the same forever because they change over time. One big thing that is different now in the Sinosphere and Indosphere (the latter I am mentioning because it is where Buddhism came from, though it is not as dominant in the cultural region as it was) is that they are generally much more patriarchal and anti-LGBT+ than they were up until the last several centuries. However, Buddhism treats same-sex relations and being transgender the same as heterosexuality and being cisgender (preferring celibacy among monastics, though depending on the school of Buddhism, those in the monastic order may be treated as their birth gender, even if they are transgender), and in addition, the Buddha taught that women are just as capable of attaining enlightenment as men. Even outside of Buddhism, there are records of same-sex relations as early as the Shang dynasty in China and the temple walls in Khajuraho, India depict homosexual activity. As for feminism, China was matrilineal until the Han dynasty era, when Confucianism and filial piety became mainstream in the area, while India, home to over 100 different ethnic communities, has had a few matriarchal and egalitarian societies pre-European colonization. In the modern era, numerous people in the two cultural spheres are becoming more supportive of gender equality and the LGBT+, which in some cases may be due to Westernization (not that it redeems it) or simply the individuals’ progressive political views not influenced by Western culture.
What has stayed the same for the most part, besides Buddhism, is the Sinosphere’s and Indosphere’s value of collectivism in honor-shame societies and the former cultural sphere’s emphasis on education; this is what Westerners, as well as people all over the world, need for themselves. If the West is going to fall due to hyperconsumerism, late stage capitalism, and uneducated leaders, those living in the West would be better off joining Buddhism and assimilating to the East. Arguably, the best way to do this is to move to a majority Buddhist country, preferably one in the Sinosphere (its core countries being China, Japan, the Koreas, Taiwan, and Vietnam). Leave everybody you know from your home behind, especially non-Buddhists. Just to make things clear, Westerners are not necessarily evil and it is not their fault they were raised in a Western culture, but having these people in your life will hold you back from collectivism, quality education free of anti-intellectual quackery, and above all, understanding the dharma.
After you have left everybody in your life and started anew, you can immerse yourself in the culture. Again, abandoning Western food, media, clothing, and especially inventions and scientific breakthroughs is very unnecessary. Your main focus is reprogramming your mind to think like a person (specifically a Buddhist person) in the Sinosphere/Indosphere, utilizing the high educational standards, putting the collective over the individual, and taking refuge in the Triple Gem. Before moving, though, it is best to make yourself familiar with the customs and learn the language of the place you are moving to. To aid your assimilation, it would not hurt to start dating one of the locals who strongly identifies with the culture, regardless of their race. Someone living there who is not ethnically East, South, or Southeast Asian who is still very involved in the culture would be very helpful to your assimilation as one who is ethnically East, South, or Southeast Asian (I am clarifying this to discourage racial fetishization). This may be difficult as you would have to win over approval from their parents, let alone convince them to see you as another Easterner, but if you manage to do so, that would be fantastic. To make things easier, you could plan to move to a country where people treat women as equals and are relatively accepting of the LGBT+ so you would not have to worry about gender roles or whatever. Think of places in the Sinosphere such as Singapore, Taiwan, Japan, Hong Kong, or if you are planning on going to the Indosphere (which is not too big of a step down) since they did give us Buddhism after all, Nepal and Thailand. Your most important goal, however, is to rewire your brain to think in a more Sinic or Indic way and be more in touch with Buddhism.
You can hardly consider yourself a Westerner if you manage to do so, being Western only in your country of origin (and possibly race as well). I am definitely not like those other “people” from the West who strongly cling to Western culture because they just do not understand. Western cultural merit is almost solely from the proxy of our ancestors’ inventions, scientific discoveries, and political revolutions. Considering that the West is being brought towards the wrong direction in the modern era, we should get out of there culturally, if not physically, until it all hits the fan.
If the West continues its defilement of the rest of the world, when it falls, it will bring it all down with it. We must not lose or else everybody loses.
This pressure has a good side; because the bigger the great threat becomes, the more we will push ourselves to assimilate and raise children to fight for us. Considering the infectability of Western anti-intellectualism and “main character syndrome”, how could our Western peers know better? Buddhism is not a proselytizing “religion”, so our best bet is eliminating the promoter of the three poisons, the Westerner (especially the Christian Westerner), from our own lives. How it will run to us as its society collapses under itself and we welcome it to assimilate but say “we told you so”! The older I get, the better I know the Westerner. The better I know the Westerner, the easier it gets to excuse hostility against them, especially from the Sinosphere.
From my perspective, the ones to blame are not the angry, low-middle class white males in the rural United States nor the boba conservative bananas and right-wing coconuts who suck up to the West’s biggest scum, but rather the ones who have brainwashed them to fall for chauvinism, reactionarism, and laissez faire capitalism.
Realizing this, I am now closely investigating the sources of these beliefs which make up the foundation of social Darwinism and, when combined with totalitarian thinking, capitalist fascism. This is after I noticed that these systems are unsustainable and would destroy themselves from the inside out. The slow, painful destruction of communities who fall victim to them are well known to me. If one looks carefully, they can see the consequences that have been unfolding since the 2020 Coronavirus Pandemic. You may wonder: were the founders aware of this? My guess would be that they were not but were evil nonetheless because they were too selfish to think about the future, their descendants.
If this is the case, then it is the duty of us, the opponents of these ideologies, to spread the word faster than the ideologies are currently spreading in the West. It is hard for me to believe it is not the case considering that both Western political ideologies are fundamentally reactionary. Besides, I doubt they would want civilization as we know it to collapse.
I have a social Darwinist as a maternal uncle who sometimes meets with my parents, maternal grandfather, and younger brother and with his political conversations, often sourced from flawed studies, Russian news, and 4chan, I can easily study the principles of its theories. Both of my parents are also conservatives who support Trump and other immoral American politicians. Being raised by the two of them, I bet I could disguise myself as a Western right-wing traditionalist, maybe even a social Darwinist, since I know the way they speak, to whom they flock to, and how to make them give one their full attention. It would probably be easy to do this as some right-wing grifters can fool American right-wing audiences into thinking that they share the same beliefs (e.g. Thomas MacDonald).
Their kind are gullible because they do not listen to fact checkers and often do not do research to see if who they are listening to really practices what they preach.
Even though there are Westerners who are not like this, the West cannot coexist with Buddhism, let alone the cultures where it is dominant, as the West ruled by colonizing tirthikas and it will likely always be for as long as it lasts. And just because their culture is not as viable as the one founded on Buddhist, Sinic, or even Indic values does not give them the right to imperialize the rest of the world and bring it down with them. We can welcome the Westerner willing to change its ways, turn it into one of an Easterner, and have its culture go through a quick and painless demise, or the Westerner can continue its power trip, destroy everything it touches along with itself, and society will suffer a slow and painful death. This is what the conclusion that I have come to so far as I examine capitalist fascism and Westerners’ connection to it.
The Western doctrine of capitalist fascism rejects an aspect of maitrī, fulfilling beings’ basic needs, and substitutes it for a privilege towards the bourgeoisie and the exploitation of the workers’ labor (also known as Vergegenständlichung or “objectification”). Thus it denies the worth of the collective, only concerns itself with greedy individuals, and thus is immoral. Unlike what the non-Buddhist capitalist wants people to believe, all beings have an altruistic Buddha nature, but it is corrupted, being difficult to notice as it has only conditions without a beginning (listed in the Avijjā Sutta). Abandoning capitalism, both fascist and non-fascist, gives power to the people as it ensures a more guaranteed right to life instead of having not even one thousand billionaires own more than half of Earth’s population combined, more than each one of those billionaires could ever spend in their lifetimes.
Should the Westerner, especially one who pushes capitalist fascism, strengthen its grip on humanity, it can be said that it would make its own naraka.
And so I stand by my plan and encourage others to do the same because it is in the name of the Unsurpassable Enlightened One. By protecting our kind against the Westerner, we are defending the Triple Gem.
If it is not already clear, the disapproval I feel towards the societal values and prevailing norms of the West has led me to question my place in this environment. I believe that meaningful change can only be fostered if the West is put into its place and the Sino-Buddhist East motivates our minds.
In Vietnam, where the culture is predominantly Sinic with some Indic aspects and little European influence, we can see the promotion of quality education, collectivism, and Buddhism (practiced by a forgivable 15% of the population), very unlike the nearby country of the Philippines. In the Philippines, its citizens cling to the Anglo-Saxon and Hispanic culture brought to the country by American and Spaniard imperialists. The effects of this are very clear in their average IQs (Vietnam: 89.53 vs. Philippines: 81.64) and PISA scores (Vietnam: 1403 vs. Philippines: 1058). They are both developing countries in Southeast Asia that were colonized by the West, but because Vietnam kept its culture more pure and stuck to Buddhism (or at least Sinic philosophies), its people are better educated compared to the nearby Westernized countries in a similar economic situation.
In short, Westernization leads to the following:

1. The native culture becomes diluted
2. If Western thinking intrudes, mental degeneration takes hold of the native population and its society slowly degrades along with the West itself as it eats itself from the inside out

Those who cause this to happen must be stopped, especially those who endanger Buddhism. We must not wait for the fruition of their karma for their sacrilege of the Tathagata’s teachings because by then it would be too late, and even if it is instant karma, every bodhisattva’s job is to end suffering.
Those who spread the harmful ideologies bring themselves and others away from the Buddha’s word are polluting humanity by having them join their rat race that will only end in their own demise. They are leading to the ruin of many and thus, I do not consider them to be human but instead parasites.
There is a disgraceful Western belief that for a short amount of time was not held by the majority but is now very pervasive in the West and also is the foundation of reactionarism, chauvinism, and capitalism in all cultures. It says: “My individual rights matter the most and freedom means my right to violate the rights of others.”
This Western babble is followed by numerous all around the world and sows disharmony in societies where it becomes the norm. This idea provides basis for several types of Westerners, including but not limited to:

• the “Karen”; a middle-aged, entitled, often white and anti-mask/anti-vaccine female who makes trivial complaints
• the “Chud”; a racist, misogynistic, right-wing male (usually young) who browses 4chan everyday and has a high likelihood of becoming a mass shooter
• the dayangma (Hanzi: 大洋马); a sex-obsessed young adult Western female, majority white but sometimes POC, is conventionally attractive (to Westerners), sleeps around, and in some cases creates spawn that do not know their father(s)
• the angry white male; self-explanatory, right-wing and traditionalist (sometimes a social Darwnist or capitalist fascist), commonly rural, evangelical Christian and have never seen a POC before
• the “Trad Wife”; a prudish, sometimes uneducated, female who lets Western males walk all over it and raises spawn who are likely to become angry whites
• the New Agehippy; generally a teenager or young adult, a well-meaning but poorly educated white liberal or social democrat who misappropriates Buddhism and appeases Muslims
• the AmeriKKKan fathegrandfather; a middle-aged to elderly, chauvinist male with children, sometimes also grandchildren, and is unconcerned about social justice and similarly to the “Karen”, falls for pseudoscientific conspiracy theories
• the neckbearded otaku (Hiragana: おたく); a hairy white male with “yellow fever” and mediocre hygiene, for the most part subreddit/Discord server moderators who stalk and kidnap East Asian ladies (if not teenage girls)

The growth of these groups is evidence of the degradation of Western culture, showing that it must retire as the dominant culture and make way for the much more sustainable East. Once the manuṣya realm on Earth is completely tainted by the West, Buddhas can no longer arise in the world because the dharma would be known by nobody and the Vinaya are forgotten or destroyed.
The future generation will not remember the dharma unless we halt the growth of the parasitic culture that promotes overconsumption, hyperindividualism, and anti-intellectualism.
The Westerner has a remarkable contrast to the Sinic or Indic. The Westerner has a grasp on this world so strong with its weaponry since the 16th century, using force to disrupt the traditional lives of whatever native people it saw, safe for those in a few countries (even though some of those countries are still being Westernized). The Dutch, English, French, Portuguese, and Spanish built colonies from the Americas to Southeast Asia. The kingdoms were blessed with powerful militaries, strong economies, stable governments, and advanced technology that allowed their cultures to spread. But after half a millennium and looking back, was any of this really earned? And is the Westerner’s conquest over yet?
Since the Great Schism of Christianity, the Westerner trained itself for roughly one thousand years. It trained itself in several aspects, but it forgot an important piece, the dharma. The cunning Westerner, blessed with advancements, used them to tyrannize other peoples on a scale never before seen. This was the beginning of the Latter Day of the Dharma. The dharma is declining because of the savage Westerner. And so, it leeched off of any people it got a hold of, including predominantly Buddhist peoples. Even during the decolonization of the 20th century, fundamentalist Christianity spread and threatened the dharma. To make matters worse, previously Buddhist peoples clung to Christianity as taught by their colonizers; the French in Vietnam and the Spanish and Americans in the Philippines. To this day, the Philippines is a lost cause along with its majority Muslim neighbors in Maritime Southeast Asia. The cunning Westerner turned the Filipino against us and now Buddhists make up only 2% of the Philippines’ population. Now, the Westerner sees Buddhism as nothing more than an aesthetic, a self-help lifestyle, or a decoration that they can commercialize and cherry pick aspects to integrate into their religion or lack thereof.
It is excellent for someone from the West to learn the dharma as this will turn them into a more compassionate and wise person, but they must not enforce the Western gaze onto it and discard parts of the Shakyamuni Buddha’s words they do not like. To be fair, some aspects of Buddhism would be nearly impossible for a Westerner to understand unless they assimilate.
Buddhism is not materialist or blind belief without evidence and it belongs to the East, so stop pretending to be something you are not while pushing stereotypes of Asian Buddhists.
However, even though Buddhism is not materialist or very in line with the Western worldview, it is uniquely human. Walpola Rahula, a Sri Lankan Buddhist monk and writer explains it this way:
Among the founders of religions the Buddha (if we are permitted to call him the founder of a religion in the popular sense of the term) was the only teacher who did not claim to be other than a human being, pure and simple. Other teachers were either God, or his incarnations in different forms, or inspired by him. The Buddha was not only a human being; he claimed no inspiration from any god or external power either. He attributed all his realization, attainments and achievements to human endeavour and human intelligence. A man and only a man can become Buddha. Every man has within himself the potentiality of becoming a Buddha, if he so wills it and endeavours. We can call the Buddha a man par excellence. He was so perfect in his 'human-ness' that he came to be regarded later in popular religion almost as 'super-human'. Man's position, according to Buddhism, is supreme. Man is his own master, and there is no higher being or power that sits in judgment over his destiny. (Rahula 3)
How could one even consider the Westerners who diluted Buddhism human themselves at this point? If it were not for them, Westerners may have a better understanding of the teachings of the “man par excellence”. We are lucky that the only Westerners who necessarily see us as inferior are white nationalists and fundamentalist Christians, otherwise the Westerner could have committed a genocide that would have left millions of us dead. Westerners are competitive beings, so they rarely act in concord towards each other. It is only when there is something that draws them together or away from a common danger.
If everybody on Earth becomes a Westerner, they would wallow in their shamelessness and would have nobody left to exploit except for each other until they destroy themselves.
Until they are the only ones left, they will vilify and exploit anything non-Western until they only have each other, then leading to a chaotic world of undignified militaries, economic inequality, corrupt governments, and little or no innovations.
Unless the Westerner considers even the slightest of inspiration from the East, it will continue to follow hyperindividualism and have apathy towards its education. That is why the West is falling. Those from the West who are smart enough to realize that the West’s flaws that it spreads are deciding that the West is not worth maintaining and its resignation is overdue. If those from the West abandon it to assimilate to the East, it would make the West’s death quicker but more dignified.
This is more than a fad but rather the realization that Western society would be best being a passing fad itself. The West gave us great inventions, food, clothes, scientific discoveries, etc. and once it is gone, the East can pick up where it left off just fine.
We will never abandon the Triple Gem because we recognize it to be more than a spiritual, exotic aesthetic or trend. To do so would make us just like those others in the West who Asian Buddhists look down upon. When the time is right, each and every one of us will surround ourselves with the people who know the dharma better than anyone you have met in the West and we can finally be at their level. We shall be Western only in our country of origin and/or race, but in every other way, we will be Easterners; Buddhist Easterners who will take back what rightfully belongs to us.
When we (and hopefully Buddhists outside of both the Eastern and the Western world) do this, consumerism will lose some of its biggest prey. Even though it may not seem like it at first considering we are abandoning everyone we have ever known, we are doing our ancestors a favor by joining the culture that strives towards the end of suffering. We will be leaving our cultures’ ways of thinking behind, but doing this will save face for our lineage, especially the Western lineage as we would be preventing the creation of more “Karens”, “Chuds”, dayangmas, “neckbeards”, and other degenerates. We will not be annoying dorky nerds and certainly not “neckbeards” who are overly obsessed with and fetishize the culture but people making an effort to get closer to the dharma and surrender to the East.
Although we are collectivists, we must seek personal liberation first for the good of other beings. Once the West collapses and its former supporters come running to us, we shall welcome them. If some do not recognize this before it is too late, well boo hoo! They will have a better birth with the world we will create. Some of them, especially their unlucky spawn, would probably be better off dead and reborn into a better life, maybe even the Pure Land.
The way it is looking now, the West is falling and becoming the world’s laughingstock, which is a good thing. The quicker it falls, the less painful it will be for the Westerner and everybody else. Western culture will not be missed, but we can keep the best of it and continue the innovations that the creators would wish to see. We will remember the legacy of them and be thankful while never forgiving or forgetting the ones who ruined the West.
Works Cited
“Ignorance Avijjā Sutta (AN 10:61).” Translated by Ṭhānissaro Bhikkhu. Dhammatalks. 2017, https://www.dhammatalks.org/suttas/AN/AN10_61.html. Accessed 31 May 2024.
Gabbe. “Western Culture.” Wikipedia. 25 May 2024. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Western_culture#:~:text=The%20core%20of%20Western%20civilization,Roman%20civilization%20and%20Western%20Christianity. Accessed 31 May 2024.
Rahula Thero, Walpola. What the Buddha Taught. Oneworld Publications, 1959. Accessed 31 May 2024.
u/Tendai-Student. “栄真Eishin (u/Tendai-Student).” Reddit, 31 May 2024, https://www.reddit.com/useTendai-Student/. Accessed 31 May 2024.
u/Tendai-Student. “Buddhism is being MISREPRESENTED in the West Marginalisation, cultural appropriation, misconceptions and what you can do.” Reddit, 2023, https://www.reddit.com/WrongBuddhism/comments/14zc6xg/buddhism_is_being_misrepresented_in_the_west/. Accessed 31 May 2024.

Heyyyy, some context before this, and some more vent, I was sexually abused by my cousin when I was around 6, Ive failed at getting a girlfriend/boyfriend 16 times and the only "relationship" ive been in is when I was 13 with a 17 year old.
Ok so, Im gonna start with that relationship I mentioned above, basically, in middle school I met a girl and "fell in love with her" but around the middle of the second year I found out that she had a boyfriend and I was just devastated, so a few days after that I made a sexual joke on a discord server and this guy starts dming me, and I tell him bro Im 13
(Age may seem off because of my school year but I entered school as a whole a year before everyone else)
And he just says oh I dont have a problem with that, im 17 so its not illegal, so at that moment I just felt wanted by him, and we sexted a bit but then I told him that I was gonna think about this because I wasn't sure if this was the right thing to do, and I did, I came back 2 weeks later and I told him there was no problem, I was ok with it, but he just told me he "wasn't into that anymore"
So after this I just wanted a partner, and I liked 16 different people during this period but none of them really liked me.
So then high school started, and I had stayed in contact with the girl I fell in love with, but eventually realised it was no use to keep talking to her, and I was developing an obssesion with her, so on the beginning of the year I deleted her contacts so that I wouldnt talk to her again.
After this, I didn't have someone I liked in high school until this semester, there was a girl who was in one of my classes who I started liking and started talking to but later found out that she was gay, but we did form a relationship and were friends, but still, I feel kinda shitty because this is the 17th time Ive liked someone and its the 17th time ive failed at trying to get into a relationship with someone.
But this wasnt the only thing related to love that happened this school year, about a month ago I had a shrimp colony that just started dying, and I really cared about every one of them, even if they were just shrimps, I also had a betta fish, which killed himself by jumping into the filter, I also cared for him a lot, I spent every bit of money my parents gave me to make his life better, 2 days later one of my cats who I had had for 7 years died too, and again I really loved that cat, he was always there for me when anyone else wouldn't.
After this I tried to keep going, I got more shrimp to replenish the colony and tried to keep their conditions better, I got a crayfish to try and take care to fulfill my promise of taking care of a pet fully until it died, and my parents adopted 2 sibling kittens which I chose because I wanted to take care of them as if they were mine, and all was going fine until a week later when one of the kittens died because of a parasite, that was the turning point for me, I just didnt want to love anyone or anything anymore.
The other kitten stayed a few days at the hospital, but honestly I wish it had just died too, all the pain of him eventually dying wouldve been quick and he wouldnt have had to live without a sibling that he really loved, currently Im taking care of all of my pets, but I just dont feel attached to them anymore, Im just taking care of them because I cant return them to the store, and releasing them into the wild would be irresponsible.
I also dont want to get a partner anymore, I know that if I get one something bad will happen to them because something bad happens to everything I love, the only way.
Ive also tried killing myself twice but im still here so life just hates me that much lmao.
Also, I know that liking 17 different girls may sound a little mysoginistic but Im really not, also 4 of those were guys, and because of those 4 times I just kind of hate men now even though im one.
So that was my little rant, I just had to say this somewhere, call me a coward or any adjective if you want because I probably am, and dont tell me to go to a therapist because I know I dont even deserve decent mental health.
And thats it really.

Why am i writing this?
the purpose of this document is to raise awareness on the subject and provide a proper foundation of information to the public and those who may be targeted. These types of programs and technologies will become more and more common as time goes on and it may be difficult for some to get a handle on it without this information. This information is crucial in the early stages of exposure to this technology as it can help someone differentiate between schizophrenia, the voice of "god", a false conscience, an alien technology or any voice versus the actual technology being used on them. Having a trusted voice inside your head can be very dangerous and can have devastating effects on a person if they are being led the wrong way. Many dictatorship like countries have already adopted a very aggressive form of this technology, paired with their social values and strict policies it leaves millions of humans at the mercy and control of a small group of people. Behind closed doors this technology is at the forefront of government tools to use to control the population in a way that leaves them blameless.
what is this new technology?
This technology is an assortment of different directed energy weapons and a voice to skull technology that work together to project thoughts and hit the target with varying effects. The first one that most people will experience is a form of voice to skull which does exactly what it sounds like, it has the ability to project voices in your head and can be mistaken for one's "conscience" or the "voice of God" but is just a mix of human operator and conversational AI. This is usually accompanied by the same voice re-reading your internal monologue right back to you in real time. Directional voice is also commonly used, basically it sounds like someone is in the next room over or upstairs but this is just another illusion put in your head by the technology. The voice to skull “voice” is a very advanced form of conversational AI programmed with specific scripts to fit the targets life situation and the "programs" goal for said individual. The rest of the time its the actual human operator, its about 80% AI 20% Human operator. Just as they can beam outside voices in your head they can also “suggest” or “inject” thoughts that will feel like your own thoughts but will present itself as an intruding thought, yes they know how to make you think things without you even being aware. The "program" will also use an assortement of directed energy weapons (DEW) which can cause headaches, brain zaps, heart palpitations and chest pains aswell as nausea, tinnitus, very realistic hallucinations and paralysis. Another tool used is a supressor which will essentially supress the brain by putting it into a sleep inertia like state and can be turned up or down, this can cause you to feel very sleepy and if you give in then it can put you to sleep. These tools can be combined to create various effects for example, using the supressor while raising the heartrate can cause a form of sleep paralysis while you are sleeping and so on. They can replicate almost all mental and physical health problems. Dreams are another field that this technology can manipulate with precision accuracy, dreams cannot be mistaken for anything but manipulation if you find yourself being targeted. There are hints of subconscious manipulation while you are asleep but there is not much information on this unfortunately. the program is a government level program therefore they will have access to suggest posts on the main social media’s that fits the targets situation in order to subconsciously adhere to the programs goal (instagram, Facebook, Meta apps) this fits the description for propaganda by repetition as they try to induce the illusory truth effect to double down on their goals for you. They are very well trained in psychological warfare and will use tactics like reverse psychology aswell as use/depend on cognitive biases against the target in tandem with all of these technologies.
the purpose
the purpose of this technology can vary depending on the target and the operator as well as which country it is happening in. there are a multitude of "programs" from research programs that aim to test new and existing methods and technologies on humans, this type of program is unlikely to be used on the civilian population as much as the other programs. Research programs will often leave its victims in a very disabled state often mistaken for severe mental and physical health issues. Re-education programs are used to control the population in a way to modify behavior and beliefs of the population to allign with the values and beliefs of the government that is conducting the program. Monitoring programs which are used to monitor persons of interest for potential criminal activity. People will typically fall into one or multiple programs. There is no way to tell how people are chosen for these programs.
How it works
I will begin by explaining how these different technologies work, in simple terms. The voice to skull technology essentially is a 2 way channel in which the individual and the operatoAI can communicate via thought. To achieve this, brain reading is paired with a form of microwave hearing (Extremely low frequency). the way they read thoughts is the brain will give off specific electrical signals with each thought and action and this technology can read your thoughts with a beam - probe like device that is constantly on, pointed at you and collecting your brains electrical data and translating it. They have algorithms that can decipher these specific brain signals and turn it into text which consequentially has given them a v2k word dictionary to refer to. the microwave hearing is done by sending Extremely Low Frequency energy to the skull with which is then transduced by the cochlea and in turn enables the "hearing" of voices. The “AI” or “algorithm” or “computer program” used is programmed with “Natural language processing” or NLP which is a field of artificial intelligence that focuses on interaction between humans and computers using language and what this means is it can interpret, understand and generate human language. This AI will talk to you 24/7 using this 2 way channel until a human takes over. This technology is also capable of thought insertion/suggestion and this will often present itself as very intruding thoughts that are abnormal to your day to day thought process but can be anything, it will also learn how you think and try to suggest things you normally think of to attempt a version of “mind control” which is done in a similar fashion to the v2k but is sent directly to the brain and not through the cochlea, no specific information on how this is administered unfortunately. The suppressor is essentially an Extremely Low Frequency Electromagnetic field and will induce theta brainwaves to make you sleepy this is why sometimes in the dark you will see small phosphenes or “speckles of light”. Directed energy weapons can be classed into many subclasses, the ones i am referring to are the more subtle weapons meant for targeting, disabling and harming biological beings with brain zaps as-well as headaches and fever like symptoms. Headaches are caused by an overload of radio frequency energy sent directly to the brain causing the brain to slowly expand which causes the headaches (this is why during v2k you will sometimes get headaches). Brain zaps are caused via electromagnetic pulse and can be programmed into your v2k algorithm to deter you from thinking of something they do not want you to think of, it will (if left unchecked) work in their favor. The symptoms of fever are induced by actually raising your body heat through RF directed energy, they refer to this as “RF incapacitation” and the effects can differ but people become less aggressive or more aggressive depending on the person and this can be used to amplify or reduce certain emotional reactions.
Please note that the technology of today is more advanced then what is listed on these patents, its just to show you that alot of this was possible a very long time ago.
tips :
Here i will list a couple tips to deal with these programs and technologies altough there is no straightforward solution yet these will help.
Inform yourself on how it works, do alot of digging and verify the information with other sources.
Music
Meditation
Exercise
Being outdoors
Staying off of social media.
Staying sober (very important)
Using the v2k’s natural language processing faults against it. There will Be a second document outlining this process soon.
Below i will include some useful links & patents
Here are some important patents:
US patent 4958638A (monitor vitals from a distance)
US Patent 20160375220A1 (Method to maintain peace through electromagnetic energy targeted to the brain)
US Patent 8049173B1 (this is what shows your location in real time)
US Patent 6470214B1 (voice to skull, assigned to U.S airforce in 1997)
Links
https://youtu.be/N02SK9yd60s?si=ONFisrO0ws7zuXgQ - James Giordano lecture about DEW, neuroscience
(https://www.reddit.com/emsurvival/) - survival guide
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T501LHx0R_Q) - Interview
https://www.ohchr.org/sites/default/files/Documents/Issues/Torture/Call/NGOs/VIACTECAnnex.pdf) patent list (many of these are older versions of technology or just “ideas” compared to what we have today, its just to give you an idea that this did exist a long time ago and does today. Government science is always 20-30 years ahead of conventional science.
https://www.youtube.com/live/LCYH_K850Lw?si=P_kVPnJdCUSvXc35 - United states homeland security committee on AHI’S
—— Any relevant information or corrections are appreciated.

Hey there Healthy Gamers,
My name's Cole ~ I've been a big fan of Dr. K and the community for a while now but this is my first time posting.
I'm here to talk about something that I've struggled severely with. Although others might not consider it to be important, this problem I have has been practically haunting my life for the past ten years now and I'm sick of dealing with it.
I want to be more creative and express myself but everytime I start to I'm plagued with fear and problems with perfectionism because of my fear, let me elaborate;
I'm 24 years old now but growing up I was a youtuber for almost my entire adolescent life. I loved doing it at the time and had no problem breaking into a flow state to make my videos and was happy to upload them. I remember this as a really good time in my life and I miss having that confidence in putting myself out there.
Unfortunately, my friends and peers at school all made fun of me because of it. My Mom, who I went to for help when I was younger, wasn't really supportive or receptive to my pain and told me it was my fault for putting something out there that would get me bullied.
There was a particularly traumatizing incident where my whole gym class pulled up my youtube channel and laughed at me, mocked me about it, even showing the teacher who also joined them in making fun of me.
This is incredibly scary for me to open up about here, because I feel like if I talk about this to anybody they're just going to be cold and unempathic towards me.
I feel so trapped and frustrated. I feel like ive lost a part of my life that genuinely makes it worth living for me and I dont feel like anyone's going to understand what i'm saying.
I've stopped making videos and I've lost a lot of that passion and drive that I used to have ten years ago, and the loss has been eating away at me all this time.
There's so much to unpack I dont even know where to start. I want to make videos again and feel free and confident to express myself even if someone is mean to me online, or trashes my opinion or how I act, but I dont even know where to begin with helping myself. I want to live as an artist, sorry if that sounds pretentious, but I want to live and be creative even if it isn't my job or its just a hobby.
I have close friends who for the past 12 years have made fun of me and ridiculed my creative hobbies, they see it as a big joke but its genuinely hurt me how little they respect or regard what I do. There were people who were fans of me and supportive when I used to make content, but it feels like that positivity has just gotten drowned out by all the negative things i've heard from people, including my close friends I mentioned, but also by people online.
I seriously wonder if there's any point in me expressing myself anymore. As it just feels like no one will ever listen, respect, or like my content. What's the point in saying something if no one's going to listen?
Regardless, I feel determined to keep trying to make something but I feel so powerless right now, I don't know how to tackle this.
I'm sorry if I'm not giving enough information or if I seem scatter brained, I dont know what I'm doing anymore and I genuinely just want some help, I tried talking with my therapist who specialized in CBT about this but it felt like she was no help with this, and we never made any progress.
If Dr. K himself has anything to say about it, or if anyone has any videos, ideas or resources which they could point me to, that would be extremely helpful.
I also hope no one's going to tell me to just give up, because i'm not going to.
Thanks for everything y'all do.
Much thanks 💜

Unless specified otherwise, all first names should start with C 😊😂
Surname: A verb beginning with C
Grandmother: First name is an elegant long name that begins with C. Middle name is a virtue name. Optional: Her maiden name is a type of bird
Grandfather: First name is a name that has been out of fashion since the early 1900s, starting with C. Middle name is a surname.
Aunt 1: Named after the book Granny was reading when she went into labour in 1962, which conveniently started with C. Her middle name is loosely based on the author of that same book.
Aunt 1's husband: First name starts with a K, but it's close enough that they let it go. He has a very feminine middle name and claims to have none if asked. Optional: Surname is an English river
Cousin 1 (Boy): Continuing the apparent family tradition, both his first and middle names start with C. His cousins say he has a vampire name, as they're taken from so far back in history, and are so unusual, that only a vampire would think they were acceptable names to give to a child.
Aunt 2: Named for the unusual location of her birth (Naturally, beginning with C), her slightly odd first name is made up for by her very pretty middle name, which thankfully also starts with C, so that she can use it in public instead.
Aunt 2's wife: Her first name is very short and typically masculine, though it suits her personality very well, but sadly doesn't start with C (This was far more controversial to Granny than her gender). To save the day, she told granny that her middle name did in fact start with C, by simply changing the first letter of her actual middle name. Optional: Her surname starts with the name of an animal
Cousin 2 (Twin #1, girl): Her parents decided to spare their kids the misfortune of two names starting with C, so only her first name does. It also has an obvious nickname which definitely doesn't start with C, just in case. Her middle name starts with the same initial as one of her moms.
Cousin 2 (Twin #2, Boy): Like his sister, his C first name has a non-C nickname, and his middle name starts with the initial of his other mom
Mother: In keeping with the last minute name inspirations of her sisters, she is named after one of the nurses who assisted in her birth. Sadly, none of the female nurses had names starting with C, so she's named after the only male nurse present, who's name fitted the C criteria. Her middle name is very feminine to make up for the male first name.
Father: Neither his first or middle names start with C, but fortunately a C nickname can be made out of either of them, so he got away with it. Optional: Surname is a brand of watches
Son: Mom leaned fully into the C name tradition. She also happened to love her weird first name, so named her son after the first C thing she saw out of the window when he was born. His middle name also begins with C, but is slightly more normal- just very Irish.
Triplets (Any gender): The name combinations for three (!) Babies was endless. Mom settled on giving them C first names, with the second letter being the next vowel in order (E.g., Baby 1's name starts Ca, next is Ce, etc.), and Irish middle names to match their brother.
Daughter: Fortunately, despite being the youngest, there were plenty of very normal C names left to be used. Mom chose to ignore all of them and name her baby after the very specific shade of nail polish she was wearing when she gave birth. Her middle name is Irish too, just for consistency.
Cat (Any gender): A very witchy/warlocky C name
Dog 1 (Female): Big, fluffy and chaotic. She has a far more normal C name than any of her human siblings.
Dog 2 (Male): Small and hyper. He is named after whatever C thing he keeps chewing on every morning.

🌿 Detailed Overview:
Steps into the spiritual and poetic traditions of the Bauls, a group of mystic minstrels from Bengal. This book presents a collection of their songs, which express the passionate and ecstatic nature of their spiritual practice. Dimock and Levertov provide translations and commentary, offering readers insight into the Bauls' unique approach to spirituality, which emphasizes love, devotion, and the transcendence of conventional religious boundaries.
🔍 Key Themes and Insights:
Introduction to the Bauls: The book begins with an introduction to the Bauls, their history, and their spiritual philosophy. Dimock and Levertov explain how the Bauls reject orthodox religious practices in favor of a more personal and direct experience of the divine through music, dance, and love.
The Role of Song and Poetry: The central role of song and poetry in Baul spirituality is explored in detail. The authors highlight how the Bauls use their songs to express their deep emotional and spiritual experiences, conveying themes of love, longing, and union with the divine.
Passion and Ecstasy: A key theme in Baul songs is the passionate and ecstatic nature of their devotion. The book provides examples of how the Bauls use vivid and often erotic imagery to describe their spiritual journey, emphasizing the intensity of their longing for the divine.
The Mystic Lover: The concept of the mystic lover is central to Baul philosophy. The authors explain how the Bauls view the relationship between the individual and the divine as a love affair, with the soul yearning for union with the beloved.
Transcendence of Boundaries: Baul spirituality is characterized by its transcendence of conventional religious boundaries. The book explores how the Bauls draw from various religious traditions, including Hinduism, Sufism, and Buddhism, to create a unique and inclusive approach to spirituality.
Emphasis on Direct Experience: The Bauls emphasize direct, personal experience of the divine over formal rituals and dogma. The book provides insight into how their practices, such as singing, dancing, and meditating, facilitate this direct experience.
Commentary and Analysis: Dimock and Levertov provide commentary and analysis of the Baul songs, helping readers understand the deeper meanings and cultural context of the lyrics. Their interpretations offer valuable insights into the spiritual and poetic nuances of Baul traditions.
Integration into Modern Life: The book also discusses the relevance of Baul spirituality in contemporary times. The authors suggest ways in which modern readers can draw inspiration from the Bauls' approach to love, devotion, and spiritual freedom.
Audience Takeaway:
"The Path of the Mystic Lover: Baul Songs of Passion and Ecstasy" offers a fascinating glimpse into the world of the Bauls, whose passionate and ecstatic spirituality continues to inspire. Edward C. Dimock Jr. and Denise Levertov provide a rich collection of Baul songs, along with insightful commentary that illuminates the depth and beauty of this mystical tradition. Readers will gain an appreciation for the Bauls' unique approach to spirituality, learn about their practices and philosophy, and find inspiration in their passionate devotion to the divine.
💌 Your Experiences and Reflections:
How have the Baul songs and their themes of passionate devotion influenced your own spiritual practice? Have you found inspiration in the Bauls' emphasis on direct experience and ecstatic love? Share your experiences and reflections on exploring Baul spirituality and its impact on your journey. Let's discuss the insights gained from the Bauls' songs and how they resonate with your own path of mystic love and devotion.

• Purchase

Hello i am 18 years old guy from Nepal. I am currently studying Bachelor degree in science (chemistry group) in first year. Life was pretty normal. At 8th standard i discovered myself as a gay and at that time i didn't paid much attention to this . Then after completion of 12th grade, there was a holiday which was going boring as usual. So i asked myself why not to explore that community? . Then through social media i got to know about grindr which i download but there was nothing as i expected. Everyone was there for only physical intimacy. I'm kind of introvert person. I just wanted people (like me:gay) with whom i can share everything, understand me better and was ready to be in relationship too. But the i didn't find the one as expected so deleted that app and promised myself to stay away from such things forever. But recently two weeks before, suddenly the urge of finding someone who truly love me grew so intense that i could no longer control myself and again installed that app but i was banned from Grindr since i entered my original age which was year 2007 but the app restricts user below 18 years. Then after some searches, i found app named blued which was similar to grindr. Two days after installing, one guy suddenly messaged me. We talked a bit and with my sense i can feel that he was genuine and later we get connected to WhatsApp. After chatting for hours he said he wanted me to meet tomorrow. After thinking for a while i said yes. Then the day after he came to room. From very beginning i felt very nervous since i was in fear that what happenes if he doesn't like me or blah blah. I look decent but I'm lean and thin which is my biggest insecurity. After talking for hours we decided to ho out since i had to buy something from a shop . So we rode together in the scooter (which he brought) and had momos with cold drinks. After that we returned to my room. I swear i don't have any intension of hookups but he had . He approached me for kiss and then that thing happened. After that we had a very calm sleep together and at around 5 pm , he left for his home. Later that night he texted me and we again talked a little bit but from tomorrow morning i think i had fallen in love with him. I don't have any feelings coming from inside when he was with me. But now i had. He has a reputed banker job with 60 k salary which he resigned for abroad processing (Canada) and he was previously in relationship with doctor for 7 year's. Then,he had some work regarding documentation so he left for Kathmandu and our connection started breaking out. He left my message unseen for more than a day. He even seems disinterested in talking with me. But the more i try to forget him, more connected i feel.
I know he is very Senior to me. He has a well settled life and would be better in future if he moves abroad. He had his relationship with doctor. Even though he is 28 years old. He look like a guy of 23-24 years. Actually his standards doesn't match with mine. He belongs to a well to do family. And now I'm here doing Bsc whose scope is .....(You know) . But I'm falling for him day by day even though i try to avoid it. I know he doesn't like or love me but I'm unable to control my feelings, emotions.

For anyone who wants to see how things began.
https://www.reddit.com/HFY/s/S97b2fqIjx
“In what universe would I ever do you a favor? “ I say, sweeping the floor of the reinforced barn.
“It’s not a favor, it’s a trade, bud.
What do you want in return? “ Trenchcoat asks from within the coffin-like cage.
“To be back home, 8 months ago. “ I reply.
Over the past few weeks I’ve managed to integrate myself into the day to day life on the farm. Things are still a grim, horrifying slog, but with every day it gets a bit easier to deal with.
“Give me something I can do. “ The creature pleads.
“Why, so I can wind up on the end of another ‘ Gotcha’ moment? I’m good. “ is my answer.
A few minutes of silence go by, Augustus breaks it.
“I don’t know many secrets of the universe. Facts, not really my bag. But I know a couple.
How about I share one with you?
No one, not the pope, not my brother, not the shit-bird perched on the highest branch of my twisted family tree, knows what happens when you die.
Some of us never will, of course. Others have ways of avoiding it, but at the end of the day, when the lights truly go out, we know next to nothing.
We do know one thing though. There is judgement, by who? Who knows? Why? Not important.
But at the end of the day, if your battery can’t be recharged, you really want to be thinking about how many marks are on each side of the ledger. “
I don’t reply, and for the next hour or so I ignore the pleading and hinting Trenchcoat does.
But that night, as I sip acidic tea, and try to get a handle on how in the fuck old televisions function, his offer is at the forefront of my mind.
He wants to kill, specifically 6 teenagers who, according to him, have been murdering classmates yearly in a twisted ritual.
He wants me to think this is some kind of noble act, he frames it as almost superheroic. The evil prick knows how I feel, knows that I see the blood on my hands every day, and would kill ( possibly literally) for some way to atone.
Is it a play? I honestly don’t think so, something about how eager the twisted thing is, about how he’s treating the situation as a buyer’s market makes me think something about this makes it important to him.
He offers me everything besides safety and protection. I’m desperate for help, but I have no way to hold him to any agreement.
So the thought rolls around in my mind, staving off the few hours of sleep I get.
“Okay, so, I have it on good authority that tea is supposed to taste better over here. What the hell is wrong with this? “ I say, sitting around an outside table with Sylvia, Dafydd and Colin.
Sylvia smiles, “ Barium, calcium, and a touch of castor oil. “
I look at the brew, then at her.
“If I had told you when you got here you need to drink that to mitigate the effects of working with void touched objects and creatures, you’d have assumed the worst, and found a way to avoid drinking it.
Good to see you becoming more perceptive though. “ Sylvia explains.
“That’s called paranoia, Syl. “ I reply.
She laughs, lighting a cigarette.
“Do you know why I’ve let you figure things out on your own? “ The ancient woman asks.
“Accepted? Yes. Understood, not in the slightest. “ I answer, wondering what sadist invented the scone.
“It’s because I need a leader. Someone who can understand, not a boy who puts his head down and listens to orders.
Someone who can make their own decisions when the time comes.
And I think that time is coming soon. “ Her statement feels like a question.
“If I chose to be here I’d be honored.” I counter.
“That attitude on the other hand… needs work.
Nikolas, today, we talk about what’s really going on.
We play a role in a much larger organization, us, and other families like us, are the ‘boots on the ground’ so to speak.
Our job is not to capture creatures, or horde esoteric goods. We do not foil the schemes of demons, nor blind those who look too deeply into the abyss.
We’re given information about events that could steer the path of humanity into a brick wall. And our job is to make sure they don’t happen. “ Sylvia reveals.
“Something is happening with these fights? “ I ask.
“As I said, perceptive.
Yes, it could be next week, it could be in a decade or two. Right now, we know very little about it, other than when it happens, it would be in our best interests to be of a high standing in the pits. “ She replies.
I absorb the information, and t drug laced tea in equal measure. As I do, I feel something, I feel I’m a part of what’s going on.
This is going to sound dumb as hell, but up until this point I hadn’t been taking things seriously. Don’t get me wrong, death is on the table, and I was trying to avoid that. But I was just treading water, hoping something or someone came by and to get me out of this situation.
But as Syl lays things out, I start to think of my place here, what I can be doing to better my state.
“Here is the part where you avoid telling me why you couldn’t have used anyone around here. “ I prod.
I keep her gaze, Colin and Dafydd shift uncomfortably.
“Augustus, he’s a tricky one. But a very lucky find for us.
I’ve tried 2 others. A boy and a girl, both I practically raised.
Marco, he was a warrior. But the demon got in his head. There was nothing that could be done beyond end his suffering.
Zelma, I won’t talk about.
That thing, it has a way of turning someone’s best traits against them. You, are a blank slate, but you’re family. You’re my best guess as to how we can use him to our advantage.
And this is why I need you, not to listen, but to understand. To see what’s happening, and make your own decisions. If I were to give you my knowledge, if I were to arm you with the best weapons, and the most powerful esoteric objects I know. He’d just have more to turn against you. “ Sylvia’s revelation scares me and puts a massive weight on my shoulders all at the same time.
Confidence and fear are both dangerous emotions. The two of them are almost like drugs in a way.
After eight months of mainlining fear, the tiny line of confidence Sylvia gave me, went straight to my head.
Trenchcoat told me where to find a video file. And after a couple of weeks of running it through every possible test I could, to check for any kind of manipulation, supernatural or otherwise, I watched it.
I was confident that the world would be much better off without the people committing the vicious acts contained in those twenty minutes of footage.
A teenage view of morality, I admit. But what do you want, I’m a teenager.
We watch the abandoned house from across the street. It’s a dingy, urban blight affected suburb, that being said, how no one seems to notice the seven foot freak with me, I have no idea.
The kid inside smoking stolen cigarettes and illegally supplied booze is a husky young guy of about 14. The half dozen kids that show up a couple hours later look closer to my age, last couple of years of high school I’m guessing.
The way they get into the house tells me they’ve done this before. The backpacks they all carry tell me they’re there for a purpose.
“How fucking funny would it be if I just killed you here and took off? “ Trenchcoat says, looming behind me.
I tense.
“It’s a joke. Out of my whole rotten family, Art and I, are close. I’m not going anywhere.
Unfortunately for you. “ Trenchcoat shoves me to the ground as he walks toward the house.
We get in through a basement window, I fit easily, Trenchcoat contorts his body to fit through the thin opening, somehow doing so silently.
I keep hearing Sylvia in my head. Telling me how she needs someone that can make his own decisions.
As I stand in the litter strewn basement, beside a creature with child murder on it’s mind I question the decision that I made.
At first the illumination is dim, nothing more than scraps of moonlight filtered through splintered wood. But with an industrial click, suddenly a half dozen lightbulbs bathe the basement in harsh, yellowish light.
Harsh, but not harsh enough to cause the reaction I see from Trenchcoat.
He squints and tries, unsuccessfully to turn away from the lights. Something about them is causing him discomfort. I get my hopes up for a moment he’s going to burst into flame or turn into dust or something, but no dice.
The sight of the walking nightmare looking pained and confused makes me panic. But before I can think of how I fucked up, I hear a voice.
The room, by the sounds of it, the entire house, has been rigged with speakers. Cleverly recessed in sconces and corners.
“Augi, long time no see. And I see you brought a little Renfield fella with you. “ The voice is modulated, Trenchcoat looks curious for a moment.
“Who, is this? You that clown that’s been fucking with Art?” He guesses.
The voice laughs, “Nope.
Who I am, is a guy who managed to find a few boxes of lightbulbs from ’93.
Then again, with eBay, that could make me just about anyone. “
Trenchcoat turns and looks toward the window we came in. He reaches a hand toward it, stopping a few inches away.
“That’s fucking interesting. “ He says, eyes darting around the room.
“Isn’t it though? “ The voice replies, clearly hearing the creature’s whisper, “ Tonight you get the pay for centuries of the worst shit committed by man or beast. I’ve made sure of that. No one in this house is going anywhere for the next 8 hours.
I’m sure the rest of the houseguests are pretty confused as to what’s going on. You wouldn’t believe me if I told you, so let me give you the Cliff’s notes.
You kids have been killing a monster a year for half a decade. You were the perfect bait, and I have faith you’ll be able to outwit Augi long enough to make it out of here.
If not, you’ll still have helped kill one of the worst things to walk the face of the earth. “
“What the hell is he talking about? “ I ask, a sinking feeling in my gut.
“That’s what you’re worried about right now?
Yeah, these kids are more Scooby gang than Manson family. Don’t blame me for the fact it only took an out of context exorcism video and some promises of making things right with the universe to get you on board with killing them. “ Trenchcoat spits.
I feel afraid, stupid and small. Which is to say, lately, business as usual.
I begin to break lightbulbs, I notice no runes, or anything else that would indicate they have any kind of supernatural origin.
As the basement dims, Trenchcoat starts to breathe easier.
“What’s going on, what stopped you from leaving? “ I ask.
“This little shit is playing The Game. “ Trenchcoat says to himself as much as to me. He looks deep in thought, inspecting the glass from the bulbs.
“What are you talking about? “ I say, my voice cracking slightly.
I hear noises upstairs, frantic foot falls. Indecipherable shouting.
Trenchcoat turns to me, exasperated and filled with anger.
“You’ve heard of ‘Rules’ right? All that ‘Don’t turn left on East street at 3:24 am kind of shit? “ The creature starts, “More and more of them popping up lately. Can’t miss the things.
Well, your kind seems great at finding them, but fucking awful at figuring out what they are. It’s not someone’s new job, or creepy school. The answer is so damned simple, but all of you’ve missed it.
It's a game. It’s, The Game.
It’s ran by the thickest branches of my family tree, and the stakes are high enough even I don’t really understand.
And whoever has us here, he’s weaponized it. The crazy fuck. “
“Call on your family for help then. “ I say, starting to deal with the fear and confusion.
“You first. “ Is Trenchcoat’s reply.
I get his point, and for a twisted, shitty moment, I find myself relating to the murderous thing I’ve been saddled with.
“So what’s the plan? “ I ask.
“Get my hands on whoever’s been stalking me. Between A and B, probably kill those little do-gooders upstairs out of spite.
I need you to circumvent rules we come across. Humans need to agree to follow the rules, it’s why people encounter them in jobs and schools so much. I’m not human, if you haven’t noticed. I don’t get a choice. “ I’m shaking my head as Augustus relates his plan.
“We’re not hurting those kids. “ I say defiantly.
“I’m sure you’ll have no problem with that.
But I’m a God damned child killing monster, bud! How long is that going to take to sink the fuck in?
Me not doing what I do, isn’t like giving up smokes. Think of it like not having a slash for months on end. Sooner or later, like it or not, I’m either finding a bathroom or pissing my pants. “ the rant scares me, but it makes me think.
Something about Augustus, it seems very, 90’s. Whoever was on the speakers was talking about the lightbulbs being from ’93. I’m picking up on a very distinct pattern.
I file that information with the rest of the disconnected lore I’ve managed to find on Trenchcoat as I follow him up the steep, narrow set of stairs.
He whips the thin wood door open, taking an aggressive, lurching step into the livingroom beyond. Surely ready to dispense too far quips and limitless violence, as per usual.
But that doesn’t happen, his rage filled scowl turns into a look of resignation, “Fuck”, is the monster’s last word before he disappears.
I cautiously walk up the loose splinter ridden stairs, expecting Augustus to be waiting around the corner, or engaged in combat with some other horror.
But once I get to the top, there’s nothing more sinister than a livingroom covered in dust and graffiti strewn with old bottles and new stains.
I know my chance when I see it. The particle board sealing the bay window is rotten, the glass long since broken.
No monster, no crazy family, I’ll take my chances with the streets of the U. K.
I tap the crumbling wood with a foot, it rattles, it won’t take much to make a hole.
I line up a kick, freedom no more than a quarter inch of rotten wood away.
“I wouldn’t do that. “ Says a voice behind me, male, around my age I’d guess, but with a confidence that makes me listen, “ Rigged with a load of C4 in the window frame.
Don’t take my word for it, guy wasn’t very subtle. ”
Sure enough, I see small wires running along the edges of the frame and embedded in the particle board.
I turn around, the six people standing in front of me have a vibe I can only describe as severe.
“Are we going to have issues? “ a slight, dark skinned guy asks.
“You making threats? “ I reply.
“No, he isn’t. “ it’s the same voice that warned me about the explosives. It belongs to a squared jawed kid with short black hair, he’s wearing a grey hoodie, and separates himself from the group. “ Call me Kent, and I’m in charge of making threats.
Sid, he’s our people person, he’s just trying to see if you’re someone we need to worry about. “
“We don’t have time to figure this kid out, leave him. “ a short, ginger girl says.
“Ami, why don’t I stay out of equipment, and you and Kent let me figure this kid out?” Sid says.
“I’m Nik. “ I volunteer.
“Good to meet you Nik. “ Sid says, walking around Kent, “Didn’t mean to start things off on the wrong foot.
We’ve just gotten used to doing these kinds of things in our own way over the past bit. We get a little… weird around this time of year if I’m being honest. “
I nod, apprehensive at giving any kind of detailed response.
“Derik” says a tall, pale guy, “ Research. “
“Liam. “ a tanned boy in a flannel shirt and deep blue jeans tells me, “ Oxford doesn’t talk, accident a couple of years back. I’m logistics, he figures spooky shit out. “
Oxford is thin and bald, his face looks much older than it should. Like he’s the victim of some kind of wasting disease.
Telling these kids the truth would be, complicated. And something about their war vet demeanor, makes me want to keep things simple.
So I give them a version of the truth. One where I was plucked from my room by Trenchcoat, and brought here for a slow death.
They buy it. I think.
“Well, I don’t know what this Jigsaw wannabe has planned, but trust me when I say, it can’t be much worse than the things we’ve went through. “ Kent says, trying to be reassuring.
“Just, one more thing. “ Sid begins, “ Why all the scars? “
I know I’ve won most of the group over, but I don’t like the look Sid is giving me.
“Work on a farm, on top of that, the family owns an auction. Lots of bent steel and splinters, what can I say? “ I say, trying to sound casual.
“Fair enough, that accent though. “ Sid’s look becomes almost predatory as he talks.
“Immigration my guy. What’s with the third degree? “ I reply.
“We’ve just met and I’ve only asked three questions.
Humor me here though.
You get taken in the night by that thing that winked out of existence.
Seems pretty nice of him to let you put on shoes. “ Sid lets his statement hang.
Kent turns, I don’t like where this is going. Panic and fear start to well up.
“What’re you thinking Sid? “ Kent asks.
“Kid’s lying. But he’s good at it. “ Sid answers.
“You saying this has turned into a, me, situation? “ Kent’s question starts a deep pit in my stomach.
“I don’t know if we need to go that far. But I don’t like the idea of him having seen our faces. I think this is a Liam situation. “ As Sid says this I look to Liam, who already seems deep in thought.
“Local cops will back our story, but he could go beyond them.
We tie him up until all of this is done, and we get some video of him putting a blade into the body upstairs. He goes telling any stories, it’s us and the locals versus some Yank on video stabbing the kid. “ Liam suggests.
I tried to fight, it went, embarrassingly. Kent had me on the ground in some kind of arm lock in about a second.
I’m bound to an old wooden chair with electrical cords, dragged into a room on the second floor where the chubby kid from before lays face down in a coagulated pool of his own blood. Surrounded by the trappings of misspent youth.
The door locks, and I stare at the corpse, wondering what in the hell went on up here, and in what universe are these psychopaths anything other than what they seemed on screen.
Time becomes almost malleable. I’m terrified to the point where every moment seems to stretch out forever.
Then, I hear it. A wet, organic noise. It starts below the body, and slowly starts to spread.
After a minute or two, the body starts to jerk and twitch. The room is dim as hell, but some kind of ropey, flesh-like substance, is sealing off the door.
I watch as the corpse clumsily gets to it’s feet. It’s skin pale, it’s throat slit to the point of near decapitation.
The head falls backward, obscenely with a small spurt of thick blood.
I scream, I thought I’d been getting used to being face to face with monsters. But fully bound, inches away from a kid that seems to be filled with a twisting mass of barbed, writhing, intestine like tentacles, I realize I’m not used to shit.
The ropey mass forms the barest suggestion of features, a shifting, lumpen mass of ever moving tendrils coming from what used to be the kid’s neck.
The sound spreads more, cracks in the floorboards and walls begin to show hints of the tendrils filling them in like spray foam.
No one is hearing my screams, or if they are, they have no interest in helping.
Ever wonder how you’d handle torture? I think if you’re the kind of person to be reading this, it’s likely you have.
I started by pissing myself.
The second the thin tendril touches my hand, I feel a blinding, flensing pain. I can do nothing but watch, as thousands of nearly hair thin spines tear and consume my flesh. As it slowly, almost, curiously makes it’s way up my arm, it leaves a bloodless, scarred furrow about an eighth of an inch deep.
My second reaction was to lose any pretense at defiance or dignity. I thrash and scream, beg and offer. All of this turning into choked sobs as the thing starts to do much of the same with another tendril.
It felt like I was in hell, every inch of me nothing more than a canvas for this artist of misery.
But pain, it can only go so far. Whether we’re talking about my tolerance, or this thing’s interest.
Mutilation, the brutal wedding of pain and loss. That was it’s next step.
A thick, almost centipede like tendril sits on my pinky like a hot iron. I can only watch in horror as I see fat, then muscle, then bone, then, nothing.
My voice shreds, I tear my wrists and ankles trying desperately to break the expertly tied wires.
My mind is at the breaking point, the creature in front of my makes a terrible, high pitched keening I assume is laughter.
My body is a roadmap of scarred pits and lines. My hand sports a cleanly severed finger. Fuck me, I wish things ended there.
Of all the important parts of the human body, the eye, tends to feel the least pain. Which isn’t to say, as I watched the greedy, grasping claws slowly take pieces of one of mine, it didn’t hurt, but the worst part, was knowing what was happening.
The vision in my left eye begins to distort at first, the edges getting blurry, then going dark. Bit by bit, chunk by irreplaceable chunk, the creature takes half my vision.
I can feel the shifting air on the bare socket, to call what I’m doing screaming, would be understating things to the point of absurdity.
My brain reels at what has just happened. I can feel my grip on reality begin to loosen, pain, worse than can bare, loss of half my sight, it’s too much.
My brain feels filled with static, for a few brief moments I swear, I can hear someone, a voice, trying to tell me something.
But then, a smell hits me. Something so foul, so alien, it yanks me back from the brink of disassociation. I gag and choke, as the air becomes thick with the rotten, chemical reek.
Then, I see it, I see, him.
As randomly as he disappeared, in an instant Trenchcoat is in the room.
He’s torn apart, wounds so deep and ragged, I can see the door on the other side of the room through the worst of them.
One arm is a twisted, broken mess, the flesh jacket torn to shreds of necrotic tissue.
The look on his face is panic, paranoia. A rictus grin of someone that has been kept on his toes for entirely too long.
He trembles and heaves, looking like he could fall over at any second.
He points his good arm at the tendril creature, who I notice has a too familiar eye suspended in it’s shifting features.
“You wouldn’t happen to know anything about the motherfucker who just made me kill my favorite cousin, would you? “ Trenchcoat asks, his voice cracked, and strained.
He gets a confused keening in response.
“Bad day for you then. “ Augustus says.
There is no style to his violence, Trenchcoat grabs the shifting mass, his wicked, claw tipped fingers angling themselves in tendrils. As he lifts the thing, floorboards break, and it’s torn free from the root-like system it was creating in the room.
Three brutal slams cover me in ichor and pieces of creature. Trenchcoat tosses the mewling, twitching pile in a corner and looks at me with disgust.
“You let that thing do this to you? Fuckin’ pathetic, bud.
And who tied you up? “ The nightmare I’ve been cursed with chides me.
“The kids downstairs. “ I say only now realizing I’ve still been sobbing.
One handed, Trenchcoat snaps the wires, then stumbles backward, slowly sliding down the wall.
He coughs, grey, bloody phlegm hitting the ground.
“So, what’s the play here? If this shit broke you, I could use the spare parts, if not, well, you know what the Bible says.
An eye for an eye. “ Trenchcoat grins as he talks, nearly on the brink of death.
And that’s where I think I’m going to leave things. Because, honestly I don’t know what I’m choosing.
I’m mutilated, half blind, using too much of my energy typing to strangers online about things because, I’m so fucking alone here.
If you hear from me again, I hope I made the right move. If not, take this as a lesson on what happens when you screw around with the occult.

For anyone who wants to see how I got into this situation.
https://www.reddit.com/nosleep/s/R0DAycoVIm
“In what universe would I ever do you a favor? “ I say, sweeping the floor of the reinforced barn.
“It’s not a favor, it’s a trade, bud.
What do you want in return? “ Trenchcoat asks from within the coffin-like cage.
“To be back home, 8 months ago. “ I reply.
Over the past few weeks I’ve managed to integrate myself into the day to day life on the farm. Things are still a grim, horrifying slog, but with every day it gets a bit easier to deal with.
“Give me something I can do. “ The creature pleads.
“Why, so I can wind up on the end of another ‘ Gotcha’ moment? I’m good. “ is my answer.
A few minutes of silence go by, Augustus breaks it.
“I don’t know many secrets of the universe. Facts, not really my bag. But I know a couple.
How about I share one with you?
No one, not the pope, not my brother, not the shit-bird perched on the highest branch of my twisted family tree, knows what happens when you die.
Some of us never will, of course. Others have ways of avoiding it, but at the end of the day, when the lights truly go out, we know next to nothing.
We do know one thing though. There is judgement, by who? Who knows? Why? Not important.
But at the end of the day, if your battery can’t be recharged, you really want to be thinking about how many marks are on each side of the ledger. “
I don’t reply, and for the next hour or so I ignore the pleading and hinting Trenchcoat does.
But that night, as I sip acidic tea, and try to get a handle on how in the fuck old televisions function, his offer is at the forefront of my mind.
He wants to kill, specifically 6 teenagers who, according to him, have been murdering classmates yearly in a twisted ritual.
He wants me to think this is some kind of noble act, he frames it as almost superheroic. The evil prick knows how I feel, knows that I see the blood on my hands every day, and would kill ( possibly literally) for some way to atone.
Is it a play? I honestly don’t think so, something about how eager the twisted thing is, about how he’s treating the situation as a buyer’s market makes me think something about this makes it important to him.
He offers me everything besides safety and protection. I’m desperate for help, but I have no way to hold him to any agreement.
So the thought rolls around in my mind, staving off the few hours of sleep I get.
“Okay, so, I have it on good authority that tea is supposed to taste better over here. What the hell is wrong with this? “ I say, sitting around an outside table with Sylvia, Dafydd and Colin.
Sylvia smiles, “ Barium, calcium, and a touch of castor oil. “
I look at the brew, then at her.
“If I had told you when you got here you need to drink that to mitigate the effects of working with void touched objects and creatures, you’d have assumed the worst, and found a way to avoid drinking it.
Good to see you becoming more perceptive though. “ Sylvia explains.
“That’s called paranoia, Syl. “ I reply.
She laughs, lighting a cigarette.
“Do you know why I’ve let you figure things out on your own? “ The ancient woman asks.
“Accepted? Yes. Understood, not in the slightest. “ I answer, wondering what sadist invented the scone.
“It’s because I need a leader. Someone who can understand, not a boy who puts his head down and listens to orders.
Someone who can make their own decisions when the time comes.
And I think that time is coming soon. “ Her statement feels like a question.
“If I chose to be here I’d be honored.” I counter.
“That attitude on the other hand… needs work.
Nikolas, today, we talk about what’s really going on.
We play a role in a much larger organization, us, and other families like us, are the ‘boots on the ground’ so to speak.
Our job is not to capture creatures, or horde esoteric goods. We do not foil the schemes of demons, nor blind those who look too deeply into the abyss.
We’re given information about events that could steer the path of humanity into a brick wall. And our job is to make sure they don’t happen. “ Sylvia reveals.
“Something is happening with these fights? “ I ask.
“As I said, perceptive.
Yes, it could be next week, it could be in a decade or two. Right now, we know very little about it, other than when it happens, it would be in our best interests to be of a high standing in the pits. “ She replies.
I absorb the information, and t drug laced tea in equal measure. As I do, I feel something, I feel I’m a part of what’s going on.
This is going to sound dumb as hell, but up until this point I hadn’t been taking things seriously. Don’t get me wrong, death is on the table, and I was trying to avoid that. But I was just treading water, hoping something or someone came by and to get me out of this situation.
But as Syl lays things out, I start to think of my place here, what I can be doing to better my state.
“Here is the part where you avoid telling me why you couldn’t have used anyone around here. “ I prod.
I keep her gaze, Colin and Dafydd shift uncomfortably.
“Augustus, he’s a tricky one. But a very lucky find for us.
I’ve tried 2 others. A boy and a girl, both I practically raised.
Marco, he was a warrior. But the demon got in his head. There was nothing that could be done beyond end his suffering.
Zelma, I won’t talk about.
That thing, it has a way of turning someone’s best traits against them. You, are a blank slate, but you’re family. You’re my best guess as to how we can use him to our advantage.
And this is why I need you, not to listen, but to understand. To see what’s happening, and make your own decisions. If I were to give you my knowledge, if I were to arm you with the best weapons, and the most powerful esoteric objects I know. He’d just have more to turn against you. “ Sylvia’s revelation scares me and puts a massive weight on my shoulders all at the same time.
Confidence and fear are both dangerous emotions. The two of them are almost like drugs in a way.
After eight months of mainlining fear, the tiny line of confidence Sylvia gave me, went straight to my head.
Trenchcoat told me where to find a video file. And after a couple of weeks of running it through every possible test I could, to check for any kind of manipulation, supernatural or otherwise, I watched it.
I was confident that the world would be much better off without the people committing the vicious acts contained in those twenty minutes of footage.
A teenage view of morality, I admit. But what do you want, I’m a teenager.
We watch the abandoned house from across the street. It’s a dingy, urban blight affected suburb, that being said, how no one seems to notice the seven foot freak with me, I have no idea.
The kid inside smoking stolen cigarettes and illegally supplied booze is a husky young guy of about 14. The half dozen kids that show up a couple hours later look closer to my age, last couple of years of high school I’m guessing.
The way they get into the house tells me they’ve done this before. The backpacks they all carry tell me they’re there for a purpose.
“How fucking funny would it be if I just killed you here and took off? “ Trenchcoat says, looming behind me.
I tense.
“It’s a joke. Out of my whole rotten family, Art and I, are close. I’m not going anywhere.
Unfortunately for you. “ Trenchcoat shoves me to the ground as he walks toward the house.
We get in through a basement window, I fit easily, Trenchcoat contorts his body to fit through the thin opening, somehow doing so silently.
I keep hearing Sylvia in my head. Telling me how she needs someone that can make his own decisions.
As I stand in the litter strewn basement, beside a creature with child murder on it’s mind I question the decision that I made.
At first the illumination is dim, nothing more than scraps of moonlight filtered through splintered wood. But with an industrial click, suddenly a half dozen lightbulbs bathe the basement in harsh, yellowish light.
Harsh, but not harsh enough to cause the reaction I see from Trenchcoat.
He squints and tries, unsuccessfully to turn away from the lights. Something about them is causing him discomfort. I get my hopes up for a moment he’s going to burst into flame or turn into dust or something, but no dice.
The sight of the walking nightmare looking pained and confused makes me panic. But before I can think of how I fucked up, I hear a voice.
The room, by the sounds of it, the entire house, has been rigged with speakers. Cleverly recessed in sconces and corners.
“Augi, long time no see. And I see you brought a little Renfield fella with you. “ The voice is modulated, Trenchcoat looks curious for a moment.
“Who, is this? You that clown that’s been fucking with Art?” He guesses.
The voice laughs, “Nope.
Who I am, is a guy who managed to find a few boxes of lightbulbs from ’93.
Then again, with eBay, that could make me just about anyone. “
Trenchcoat turns and looks toward the window we came in. He reaches a hand toward it, stopping a few inches away.
“That’s fucking interesting. “ He says, eyes darting around the room.
“Isn’t it though? “ The voice replies, clearly hearing the creature’s whisper, “ Tonight you get the pay for centuries of the worst shit committed by man or beast. I’ve made sure of that. No one in this house is going anywhere for the next 8 hours.
I’m sure the rest of the houseguests are pretty confused as to what’s going on. You wouldn’t believe me if I told you, so let me give you the Cliff’s notes.
You kids have been killing a monster a year for half a decade. You were the perfect bait, and I have faith you’ll be able to outwit Augi long enough to make it out of here.
If not, you’ll still have helped kill one of the worst things to walk the face of the earth. “
“What the hell is he talking about? “ I ask, a sinking feeling in my gut.
“That’s what you’re worried about right now?
Yeah, these kids are more Scooby gang than Manson family. Don’t blame me for the fact it only took an out of context exorcism video and some promises of making things right with the universe to get you on board with killing them. “ Trenchcoat spits.
I feel afraid, stupid and small. Which is to say, lately, business as usual.
I begin to break lightbulbs, I notice no runes, or anything else that would indicate they have any kind of supernatural origin.
As the basement dims, Trenchcoat starts to breathe easier.
“What’s going on, what stopped you from leaving? “ I ask.
“This little shit is playing The Game. “ Trenchcoat says to himself as much as to me. He looks deep in thought, inspecting the glass from the bulbs.
“What are you talking about? “ I say, my voice cracking slightly.
I hear noises upstairs, frantic foot falls. Indecipherable shouting.
Trenchcoat turns to me, exasperated and filled with anger.
“You’ve heard of ‘Rules’ right? All that ‘Don’t turn left on East street at 3:24 am kind of shit? “ The creature starts, “More and more of them popping up lately. Can’t miss the things.
Well, your kind seems great at finding them, but fucking awful at figuring out what they are. It’s not someone’s new job, or creepy school. The answer is so damned simple, but all of you’ve missed it.
It's a game. It’s, The Game.
It’s ran by the thickest branches of my family tree, and the stakes are high enough even I don’t really understand.
And whoever has us here, he’s weaponized it. The crazy fuck. “
“Call on your family for help then. “ I say, starting to deal with the fear and confusion.
“You first. “ Is Trenchcoat’s reply.
I get his point, and for a twisted, shitty moment, I find myself relating to the murderous thing I’ve been saddled with.
“So what’s the plan? “ I ask.
“Get my hands on whoever’s been stalking me. Between A and B, probably kill those little do-gooders upstairs out of spite.
I need you to circumvent rules we come across. Humans need to agree to follow the rules, it’s why people encounter them in jobs and schools so much. I’m not human, if you haven’t noticed. I don’t get a choice. “ I’m shaking my head as Augustus relates his plan.
“We’re not hurting those kids. “ I say defiantly.
“I’m sure you’ll have no problem with that.
But I’m a God damned child killing monster, bud! How long is that going to take to sink the fuck in?
Me not doing what I do, isn’t like giving up smokes. Think of it like not having a slash for months on end. Sooner or later, like it or not, I’m either finding a bathroom or pissing my pants. “ the rant scares me, but it makes me think.
Something about Augustus, it seems very, 90’s. Whoever was on the speakers was talking about the lightbulbs being from ’93. I’m picking up on a very distinct pattern.
I file that information with the rest of the disconnected lore I’ve managed to find on Trenchcoat as I follow him up the steep, narrow set of stairs.
He whips the thin wood door open, taking an aggressive, lurching step into the livingroom beyond. Surely ready to dispense too far quips and limitless violence, as per usual.
But that doesn’t happen, his rage filled scowl turns into a look of resignation, “Fuck”, is the monster’s last word before he disappears.
I cautiously walk up the loose splinter ridden stairs, expecting Augustus to be waiting around the corner, or engaged in combat with some other horror.
But once I get to the top, there’s nothing more sinister than a livingroom covered in dust and graffiti strewn with old bottles and new stains.
I know my chance when I see it. The particle board sealing the bay window is rotten, the glass long since broken.
No monster, no crazy family, I’ll take my chances with the streets of the U. K.
I tap the crumbling wood with a foot, it rattles, it won’t take much to make a hole.
I line up a kick, freedom no more than a quarter inch of rotten wood away.
“I wouldn’t do that. “ Says a voice behind me, male, around my age I’d guess, but with a confidence that makes me listen, “ Rigged with a load of C4 in the window frame.
Don’t take my word for it, guy wasn’t very subtle. ”
Sure enough, I see small wires running along the edges of the frame and embedded in the particle board.
I turn around, the six people standing in front of me have a vibe I can only describe as severe.
“Are we going to have issues? “ a slight, dark skinned guy asks.
“You making threats? “ I reply.
“No, he isn’t. “ it’s the same voice that warned me about the explosives. It belongs to a squared jawed kid with short black hair, he’s wearing a grey hoodie, and separates himself from the group. “ Call me Kent, and I’m in charge of making threats.
Sid, he’s our people person, he’s just trying to see if you’re someone we need to worry about. “
“We don’t have time to figure this kid out, leave him. “ a short, ginger girl says.
“Ami, why don’t I stay out of equipment, and you and Kent let me figure this kid out?” Sid says.
“I’m Nik. “ I volunteer.
“Good to meet you Nik. “ Sid says, walking around Kent, “Didn’t mean to start things off on the wrong foot.
We’ve just gotten used to doing these kinds of things in our own way over the past bit. We get a little… weird around this time of year if I’m being honest. “
I nod, apprehensive at giving any kind of detailed response.
“Derik” says a tall, pale guy, “ Research. “
“Liam. “ a tanned boy in a flannel shirt and deep blue jeans tells me, “ Oxford doesn’t talk, accident a couple of years back. I’m logistics, he figures spooky shit out. “
Oxford is thin and bald, his face looks much older than it should. Like he’s the victim of some kind of wasting disease.
Telling these kids the truth would be, complicated. And something about their war vet demeanor, makes me want to keep things simple.
So I give them a version of the truth. One where I was plucked from my room by Trenchcoat, and brought here for a slow death.
They buy it. I think.
“Well, I don’t know what this Jigsaw wannabe has planned, but trust me when I say, it can’t be much worse than the things we’ve went through. “ Kent says, trying to be reassuring.
“Just, one more thing. “ Sid begins, “ Why all the scars? “
I know I’ve won most of the group over, but I don’t like the look Sid is giving me.
“Work on a farm, on top of that, the family owns an auction. Lots of bent steel and splinters, what can I say? “ I say, trying to sound casual.
“Fair enough, that accent though. “ Sid’s look becomes almost predatory as he talks.
“Immigration my guy. What’s with the third degree? “ I reply.
“We’ve just met and I’ve only asked three questions.
Humor me here though.
You get taken in the night by that thing that winked out of existence.
Seems pretty nice of him to let you put on shoes. “ Sid lets his statement hang.
Kent turns, I don’t like where this is going. Panic and fear start to well up.
“What’re you thinking Sid? “ Kent asks.
“Kid’s lying. But he’s good at it. “ Sid answers.
“You saying this has turned into a, me, situation? “ Kent’s question starts a deep pit in my stomach.
“I don’t know if we need to go that far. But I don’t like the idea of him having seen our faces. I think this is a Liam situation. “ As Sid says this I look to Liam, who already seems deep in thought.
“Local cops will back our story, but he could go beyond them.
We tie him up until all of this is done, and we get some video of him putting a blade into the body upstairs. He goes telling any stories, it’s us and the locals versus some Yank on video stabbing the kid. “ Liam suggests.
I tried to fight, it went, embarrassingly. Kent had me on the ground in some kind of arm lock in about a second.
I’m bound to an old wooden chair with electrical cords, dragged into a room on the second floor where the chubby kid from before lays face down in a coagulated pool of his own blood. Surrounded by the trappings of misspent youth.
The door locks, and I stare at the corpse, wondering what in the hell went on up here, and in what universe are these psychopaths anything other than what they seemed on screen.
Time becomes almost malleable. I’m terrified to the point where every moment seems to stretch out forever.
Then, I hear it. A wet, organic noise. It starts below the body, and slowly starts to spread.
After a minute or two, the body starts to jerk and twitch. The room is dim as hell, but some kind of ropey, flesh-like substance, is sealing off the door.
I watch as the corpse clumsily gets to it’s feet. It’s skin pale, it’s throat slit to the point of near decapitation.
The head falls backward, obscenely with a small spurt of thick blood.
I scream, I thought I’d been getting used to being face to face with monsters. But fully bound, inches away from a kid that seems to be filled with a twisting mass of barbed, writhing, intestine like tentacles, I realize I’m not used to shit.
The ropey mass forms the barest suggestion of features, a shifting, lumpen mass of ever moving tendrils coming from what used to be the kid’s neck.
The sound spreads more, cracks in the floorboards and walls begin to show hints of the tendrils filling them in like spray foam.
No one is hearing my screams, or if they are, they have no interest in helping.
Ever wonder how you’d handle torture? I think if you’re the kind of person to be reading this, it’s likely you have.
I started by pissing myself.
The second the thin tendril touches my hand, I feel a blinding, flensing pain. I can do nothing but watch, as thousands of nearly hair thin spines tear and consume my flesh. As it slowly, almost, curiously makes it’s way up my arm, it leaves a bloodless, scarred furrow about an eighth of an inch deep.
My second reaction was to lose any pretense at defiance or dignity. I thrash and scream, beg and offer. All of this turning into choked sobs as the thing starts to do much of the same with another tendril.
It felt like I was in hell, every inch of me nothing more than a canvas for this artist of misery.
But pain, it can only go so far. Whether we’re talking about my tolerance, or this thing’s interest.
Mutilation, the brutal wedding of pain and loss. That was it’s next step.
A thick, almost centipede like tendril sits on my pinky like a hot iron. I can only watch in horror as I see fat, then muscle, then bone, then, nothing.
My voice shreds, I tear my wrists and ankles trying desperately to break the expertly tied wires.
My mind is at the breaking point, the creature in front of my makes a terrible, high pitched keening I assume is laughter.
My body is a roadmap of scarred pits and lines. My hand sports a cleanly severed finger. Fuck me, I wish things ended there.
Of all the important parts of the human body, the eye, tends to feel the least pain. Which isn’t to say, as I watched the greedy, grasping claws slowly take pieces of one of mine, it didn’t hurt, but the worst part, was knowing what was happening.
The vision in my left eye begins to distort at first, the edges getting blurry, then going dark. Bit by bit, chunk by irreplaceable chunk, the creature takes half my vision.
I can feel the shifting air on the bare socket, to call what I’m doing screaming, would be understating things to the point of absurdity.
My brain reels at what has just happened. I can feel my grip on reality begin to loosen, pain, worse than can bare, loss of half my sight, it’s too much.
My brain feels filled with static, for a few brief moments I swear, I can hear someone, a voice, trying to tell me something.
But then, a smell hits me. Something so foul, so alien, it yanks me back from the brink of disassociation. I gag and choke, as the air becomes thick with the rotten, chemical reek.
Then, I see it, I see, him.
As randomly as he disappeared, in an instant Trenchcoat is in the room.
He’s torn apart, wounds so deep and ragged, I can see the door on the other side of the room through the worst of them.
One arm is a twisted, broken mess, the flesh jacket torn to shreds of necrotic tissue.
The look on his face is panic, paranoia. A rictus grin of someone that has been kept on his toes for entirely too long.
He trembles and heaves, looking like he could fall over at any second.
He points his good arm at the tendril creature, who I notice has a too familiar eye suspended in it’s shifting features.
“You wouldn’t happen to know anything about the motherfucker who just made me kill my favorite cousin, would you? “ Trenchcoat asks, his voice cracked, and strained.
He gets a confused keening in response.
“Bad day for you then. “ Augustus says.
There is no style to his violence, Trenchcoat grabs the shifting mass, his wicked, claw tipped fingers angling themselves in tendrils. As he lifts the thing, floorboards break, and it’s torn free from the root-like system it was creating in the room.
Three brutal slams cover me in ichor and pieces of creature. Trenchcoat tosses the mewling, twitching pile in a corner and looks at me with disgust.
“You let that thing do this to you? Fuckin’ pathetic, bud.
And who tied you up? “ The nightmare I’ve been cursed with chides me.
“The kids downstairs. “ I say only now realizing I’ve still been sobbing.
One handed, Trenchcoat snaps the wires, then stumbles backward, slowly sliding down the wall.
He coughs, grey, bloody phlegm hitting the ground.
“So, what’s the play here? If this shit broke you, I could use the spare parts, if not, well, you know what the Bible says.
An eye for an eye. “ Trenchcoat grins as he talks, nearly on the brink of death.
And that’s where I think I’m going to leave things. Because, honestly I don’t know what I’m choosing.
I’m mutilated, half blind, using too much of my energy typing to strangers online about things because, I’m so fucking alone here.
If you hear from me again, I hope I made the right move. If not, take this as a lesson on what happens when you screw around with the occult.

I have non-prototype Solo 401(k) retirement accounts (pre-tax and Roth) with account numbers that begin with Z.
I have yet to receive my checkbooks, but I'm not too alarmed by that since it's not been 2 weeks yet.
However, I wanted to set up ACH deposits so I can initiate ACH deposits from my Bank of America Business Checking account.
I've found the ABA routing number, but I cannot find the account number that I need to enter as I do not believe ACH can accept letters in account numbers. Is there a standard account structure to figure out what my account numbers would be for ACH transfers in?
Thanks!

The Titans are ancient "superspecies" that inhabited the Earth of the MonsterVerse long before humanity, only to be awoken in the modern day. These creatures are thought to be the inspiration for many stories and myths.
When a teleportation mishap sends the Legion of Doom to the MonsterVerse, the Toyman is enamored with the Titans. Using the mystic Dreamstone, he transports his new "toys" to the DC Universe to wreck havoc.
Sources: Justice League vs Godzilla vs Kong. Feats are marked with the issue number
Notes:

1. The author has stated that while the Titans are based on the MonsterVerse movies and comics, the story is an Elseworld on both the DC and MonsterVerse sides. That being said, I'll still link to Threads of the mainline versions of the Titans as a reference point.
2. The author has stated that while he didn't write this version of Superman as explicitly weaker than his mainline counterpart, he also doesn't write with battleboarding or powerscaling in mind. Rather he chose to depict the "alphas" of each universe (Godzilla and Superman) at similar levels of strength and scale each character down from there.
3. Both the DC Universe and MonsterVerse have kaiju called The Kraken. In this thread only the DC one is referenced

Scaling

• The Justice League
• Godzilla
• Kong

Camazotz

A bat-like Titan that was the basis of an Aztec deity. Upon arrival in the DC Universe it wrecks havoc in Gotham City, but is defeated by the Bat-Family (with help from Black Canary and Cyborg)
Main Canon Thread
Durability

• Tanks missiles from the Batplanes ²
• An anti-material rifle to the eye draws blood but mostly makes it angry ²
• [Limit] Black Canary's Canary Cry, amplified and modified to a frequency Camazotz is weak to by Cyborg, knocks it unconscious ²

Sonic Scream

• Blows up buildings ²
• Destroys the Batwing ²

Other

• Can fly ²

Behemoth

A massive mammalian kaiju from the Amazon. It briefly attacks Paradise Island, but quickly retreats. It later falls under Mechagodzilla's sway, fighting the Justice League in Metropolis.
Main Canon Thread

• Throws off Wonder Woman and Donna Troy's lassos ³
• Knocks down the Lazarus Skullcrawler ⁷

Scylla

A crablike Titan. Scylla attacks Central City, causing a prison break of many of the Flash's villains. Though the Justice League drive it off, it later falls under Mechagodzilla's sway and fights the League in Metropolis.
Main Canon Thread

• Although not strong enough to break Hal Jordan's shields, Hal can't escape her tentacles either ³
• Gets punched and has a leg torn off by Green Lantern Robo ⁶
• Emits toxic fog that slows down the Flash ³

Tiamat

A sea serpent Titan known for its aggression. It attacks Atlantis and is followed by Godzilla, forcing Aquaman to unleash the Kraken to break up their fight. It's lured away from the city, but later falls under Mechagodzilla's sway, fighting the Justice League in Metropolis.
Strength

• Eats a giant squid ⁴
• Tail whips Godzilla into Atlantis' dome, cracking it ⁴
• Sent Aquaman flying ⁶

Mobility

• Caught Hawkgirl in its mouth ⁶

Durability

• Only seems annoyed by Flash's water vortex, Hal Jordan's energy blasts and being stabbed by Atlantean tridents ⁴
• Shrugs off Godzilla's Atomic Breath
• Gets tackled by Godzilla, then has Godzilla slammed into it by the Kraken ⁴
• Shrugs off hits from Aquaman and Hawkgirl, as well as gunfire powerful enough to shatter its teeth ⁶

Powers

• Aquaman can't control it ⁴
• Spews ink which it then electrifies, beginning to crack Hal Jordan's shields ⁴

Mechagodzilla

A mechanical Titan built by humans to destroy Godzilla. Unlike the other Titans, Mechagodzilla arrives in the DC Universe in pieces (seemingly either dismantled after its defeat or never completed to begin with in this canon). Lex Luthor finds and rebuilds the robot, using it to dominate the other Titans and force them to fight the Justice League.
Main Canon Thread
Physicals

• Takes a punch from the Justice Mecha ⁷
• It has rockets that enhance its mobility and striking power. A rocket punch floors the Justice Mecha and temporarily disables its motor ⁷
• Takes a flying slam from Shazam ⁷
• Appears to one-shot Beast Boy-Kong with its tail ⁷
• Its Proton Scream is still operational after its arms are ripped off, but getting Baned by the Justice Mecha defeats Mechagodzilla ⁷

Weapons

• Has shoulder missiles ⁷
• Its Proton Scream blasts through a Skullcrawler ⁷

Other

• Lex Luthor claims that the original Mechagodzilla was more powerful than anything Lexcorp has produced ⁴
• With Godzilla incapacitated, Mechagodzilla usurps his role as Alpha Titan. This lets Lex Luthor force Behemoth, Scylla, and Tiamat to fight for him ⁶

Skullcrawlers

Hypercarnivorous predators native to the MonsterVerse's Hollow Earth, Skullcrawlers are an invasive species on Skull Island, kept in check only by Kong. When the Island and its inhabitants are transported to the DC Universe, the League of Assassins retrieves the remains of several of them. They then use the Lazarus Pit to revive them as Titan-sized attack dogs.
One of the creatures (confirmed to be created from the Skull Devil's remains) is far larger and stronger than even the oversized Skullcrawlers in the rest of the comic. I'll be calling this one the "Lazarus Skullcrawler.
Main Canon Thread
Strength

• The Lazarus Skullcrawler smashes apart the ground ⁷
• "Normal" (still oversized compared to the movies) ones knock down Kong and Beast Boy-Kong ⁷
• The Lazarus Skullcrawler grabs Kong with its tail; Kong can't escape on his own ⁷
• Pulls in the Justice Mecha with its tongue and bites it in half ⁷

Durability

• The Lazarus Skullcrawler gets knocked down by Behemoth's tusks and gets its head slammed by Kong and Beast Boy-Kong. It's later shown fighting with no injuries ⁷
• Briefly withstands both Superman's heat vision and Godzilla's Atomic Breath, although its pinned down long enough for Kong to finish it off ⁷

Other

• Unlike in the movies, there are several Skullcrawlers comparable in size to adult Titans like Kong ^{1, 6}
• The Lazarus Skullcrawler towers over Titan-sized ones ⁶
  • It's significantly larger than Kong ⁷
• The Lazarus Skullcrawler has a prehensile tail ⁷
• The Lazarus Skullcrawler has an extending prehensile tongue ⁷

Respect Gohan

"...Ok, so you don't like to fight. But what's this nonsense about not wanting to kill me? You couldn't kill me in a hundred years! Am I wrong?"
"I'm beginning to get it now...why dad said only I could defeat you. Ever since I was little... when I get mad, I lose control and go berserk. I think...that's what dad's counting on..."

♫Tamashii Vs Tamashii/♫Great Saiyaman/♫ Gohan's Anger/♫Climax
The son of Goku and Chichi, Gohan was born in a time of peace after the defeat of Piccolo Jr. Unlike his father Gohan doesn't enjoy fighting, instead wishing to become a great scholar. Gohan's life would be forever changed when his uncle Raditz arrived on Earth, told Goku and Gohan they were actually members of a bloodthirsty alien race called saiyans, and kidnapped Gohan. Goku set out to rescue him, accompanied by Piccolo, though they found themselves no match for Raditz until Gohan got mad and unleashed his hidden strength on him. This gave Piccolo the opening he needed to kill Raditz, with his attack also killing Goku in the process. Then Piccolo kidnapped Gohan and trained him to prepare for the arrival of two more saiyans in a year. He battled the pair along with the rest of the Z Fighters (though not without heavy casualties), landing the final blow against Vegeta after transforming into a Great Ape.
Gohan would spend the rest of his childhood battling evil alongside the Z Fighters, most notably the bio-android Cell. Pushed to his mental and physical limits against the villain, Gohan snapped and transformed into a Super Saiyan 2. His newfound power allowed him to easily overpower Cell, and after accidentally causing his father's death when too overconfident, he finally killed him with a gigantic Kamehameha.
Eventually Gohan met a girl named Videl and the two got married, with their daughter Pan born soon afterwards. He also retired from martial arts, believing the newfound peace would last.
This wouldn't be the end of Gohan's time fighting though, with new threats like the resurrected Frieza, the world-devouring galactic criminal Moro, and a multiversal tournament to decide which universe lived or died convincing him that he needed to begin training again (though he does still forget to from time to time).
Source key
Manga

• Dragon Ball Z chapter # - DBZ#
• Dragon Ball Super chapter # - DBS#
• Dragon Ball: Revival of F - RoF(manga) #

Movies/Specials

• Yo! Son Goku and his Friends Return - YSG&HF
• Dragon Ball Z: Resurrection "F" - RoF(movie)

Hover over a feat for the chapter number. All feats are marked with their saga of origin.
Notes

• Feats in bold are when Gohan is angry, heavily boosting his power^{Saiyan Saga}
• In DBZ chapter 77 Gohan had his potential unlocked by the Grand Elder of Namek, giving him a large power increase.

Scaling

Kid Gohan/Teen Gohan

"I'm...the son...of Son Goku...the warrior... I won't... I won't... let you... beat me!!"

Strength

Lifting

• Flew while carrying an unconscious Piccolo when he had barely any energy^{Frieza Saga}
• Flew while carrying Bulma^{Frieza Saga}
• Pulled Yajirobe out of the water^{Cell Saga}
• Flew while carrying Bulma, baby Trunks and Yajirobe^{Cell Saga}

Striking

• Headbutt Raditz hard enough to crack his armor and wound him^{Saiyan Saga}
• Cut a slice off a dinosaur's tail with a sword^{Saiyan Saga}
• Kicked Nappa into a mesa, shattering it^{Saiyan Saga}
• Sent Vegeta flying back with a kick^{Saiyan Saga}
• Briefly traded blows with an exhausted Vegeta before getting overpowered^{Saiyan Saga}
• One-shot a Frieza Force grunt^{Frieza Saga}
• Kicked Dodoria through a wall^{Frieza Saga}
• Either he or Krillin kicked Ginyu-Goku into Frieza's ship hard enough to dent it^{Frieza Saga}
• Pummelled Second Form Frieza and kicked him through the air^{Frieza Saga}
• Made Android 20 let go of Piccolo by bashing him in the head^{Cell Saga}
• [SSJ] Knocked Cell on his ass with a kick^{Cell Saga}
• [SSJ2] Splattered a Cell Jr's head with one hit^{Cell Saga}
• [SSJ2] Did the same to 4 more Cell Jrs and split another in half with a kick^{Cell Saga}
• [SSJ2] Obliterated a Cell Jr's torso with a swing^{Cell Saga}
• [SSJ2] Winded Cell with a gutpunch and sent him reeling with an uppercut^{Cell Saga}
• [SSJ2] Sent Cell flying back with a kick^{Cell Saga}
• [SSJ2] Kicked Max-Power Cell in the head hard enough to dent it and make him puke up Android 18^{Cell Saga}
• [SSJ2] Made cracks by hitting the ground^{Cell Saga}

Other

• Burst out of Raditz's pod^{Saiyan Saga}
• Leapt on top of a giant butte^{Saiyan Saga}
• Blocked Ginyu-Goku's punches^{Frieza Saga}
• [SSJ] Was able to stand still when Goku used his power to kick up strong winds next to him^{Cell Saga} [SSJ2] Grabbed a bag out of Cell's hand^{Cell Saga}
• [SSJ2] Blocked Cell's kick^{Cell Saga}

Durability

Blunt

• After his power dropped to 1 Raditz knocked him out with one hit^{Saiyan Saga}
• Got back up after Nappa kicked him off the ground and smacked him into a mesa hard enough to break small rocks off it^{Saiyan Saga}
• Floored by a punch to the gut from Vegeta^{Saiyan Saga}
• Still conscious (though barely) after Vegeta headbutt him^{Saiyan Saga}
• Refused to stay down when Vegeta kept kicking him back^{Saiyan Saga}
• Only needed 3 days in the hospital to recover from his fight with Vegeta^{Saiyan Saga}
• Floored by a knee to the gut from Vegeta^{Frieza Saga}
• Sent flying back by Recoome^{Frieza Saga}
• Chopped out of the air by Recoome^{Frieza Saga}
• Got back up after Recoome hit him into the ground^{Frieza Saga}
• [Limit] Recoome broke his neck with a kick^{Frieza Saga}
• Smacked out of the air by Second Form Frieza^{Frieza Saga}
• Second Form Frieza grabbed him by the hair, kneed him in the ribs and kicked him^{Frieza Saga}
• Got back up after Second Form Frieza tail smacked him into the ground^{Frieza Saga}
• [Limit] Second Form Frieza almost crushed his head under his foot before Krillin saved him^{Frieza Saga}
• [SSJ] Only a little bloody after Cell pummeled him and kiaid him through a plateau hard enough to destroy it^{Cell Saga}
• [SSJ] Mercilessly pummeled by Cell^{Cell Saga}
• [SSJ] [Limit] Almost crushed by Cell's bearhug^{Cell Saga}
• [SSJ] Kicked away by Cell^{Cell Saga}
• [SSJ2] No-sold Cell punching him in the face^{Cell Saga}

Ki attacks

• Floored by Piccolo's Evil Eyes^{Saiyan Saga}
• Still conscious after getting launched into a rock by Vegeta's Technique™^{Saiyan Saga}
• Survived Vegeta's Super Explosive Wave, though he was knocked out^{Saiyan Saga}
• Tanked Ginyu-Goku's ki blast^{Frieza Saga}
• [SSJ2] Shielded Vegeta from Super Perfect Cell's blast, though his arm was broken in the process^{Cell Saga}

Other

• Was able to spend a year in the Hyperbolic Time Chamber^{Cell Saga}
  • The Time Chamber has 10 times Earth's gravity, 3/4th the air pressure, and temperatures that range from -40 to 120 degrees^{Cell Saga}

Speed

Flight

• Briefly flew away from Dodoria, though he would have caught up eventually^{Frieza Saga}
• Managed to escape Dodoria blowing up the island he was on^{Frieza Saga}
• Flew to Guru's house in a few days while heavily suppressing his ki, then quickly reached it when using his full power^{Frieza Saga}
  • Guru's house was a 30 day walk away^{Frieza Saga}
• Saved Vegeta from Recoome's Eraser Gun^{Frieza Saga}
• Escaped Frieza blowing up the island they were on^{Frieza Saga}
• Saved Bulma from a falling rock^{Frieza Saga}
• [SSJ2] Easily caught up to a Cell Jr^{Cell Saga}
• [SSJ2] Was able to shield Vegeta from Super Perfect Cell's blast^{Cell Saga}

Agility

• Briefly outran a dinosaur before tripping^{Saiyan Saga}
  • After living in the wilderness for 6 months he was able to easily outrun it^{Saiyan Saga}
• Leapt across islands while heavily suppressing his power^{Frieza Saga}

Combat

• Flash stepped behind Vegeta^{Saiyan Saga}
• Almost caught Guldo repeatedly when he was about to stop time^{Frieza Saga}

Dodging

• Dodged a blast from Vegeta^{Saiyan Saga}
• Dodged Vegeta's Technique™ for a while before getting hit^{Saiyan Saga}
• Dodged a tree Guldo threw at him at the last second^{Frieza Saga}
• Dodged his own redirected blast^{Frieza Saga}
• Avoided a barrage of ki blasts from Recoome^{Frieza Saga}
• Ducked under Ginyu-Goku's kick^{Frieza Saga}
• [SSJ] Blocked and dodged Cell's hits, though he got caught when Cell used his full speed^{Cell Saga}
• [SSJ] Leapt over Cell's punch^{Cell Saga}
• [SSJ] Dodged Cell's barrage of Death Beams^{Cell Saga}
• [SSJ2] Ducked under Cell's swipe^{Cell Saga}
• [SSJ2] Effortlessly dodged Max-Power Cell's hits^{Cell Saga}

Ki

General

• Can give ki to others, giving Piccolo most of his remaining ki^{Frieza Saga}
• Ki users have improved eyesight, with the Z Fighters being able to watch a fight that was too far away for Bulma to see

Power

• Power level 710^{Saiyan Saga}
• Power level 1307^{Saiyan Saga}
• Power level 1500^{Frieza Saga}
• When Guru unlocked his potential Vegeta mistook his ki for Goku's^{Frieza Saga}
• [SSJ] Was far stronger than Goku during the Cell Games, thinking his father was just holding back during his fight^{Cell Saga}
• [SSJ] Sent debris flying by powering up^{Cell Saga}

Power supression

• Lowered his power to bait some Frieza Force grunts into lowering their guard^{Frieza Saga}
• Hid from Vegeta^{Frieza Saga}
• Hid from Vegeta again^{Frieza Saga}

Sensing

• Sensed Vegeta and Nappa arriving on Earth^{Saiyan Saga}
• Sensed Goku approaching^{Saiyan Saga}
• Sensed Frieza as he flew by^{Frieza Saga}
• Sensed the Ginyu Force^{Frieza Saga}
• Could immediately tell where Guldo went every time he stopped time^{Frieza Saga}
• Sensed that Goku had successfully swapped back bodies with Ginyu^{Frieza Saga}

Blasts

• Obliterated a butte and dug a long trench^{Saiyan Saga}
• Lit a fire^{Saiyan Saga}
• Fired one at Second Form Frieza, making a massive explosion, before hitting him with a barrage that blew up an island and hurt him a little^{Frieza Saga}
• Fired a full-power blast at Third Form Frieza, slowly pushing him towards the ground, though he was able to deflect it^{Frieza Saga}
• Annoyed Final Form Frieza^{Frieza Saga}

Masenko

• Used all his remaining energy to fire one with a power level of 2800 at Nappa, though all it did was sting his hand^{Saiyan Saga}
  • The Special Beam Cannon that killed Raditz had a power level of 1,330^{Saiyan Saga}

Kamehameha

• [SSJ2] Easily overpowered Cell's planet-busting Kamehameha in a clash and vaporized most of his limbs^{Cell Saga}
• [SSJ2] With one arm he was able to match Super Perfect Cell's Kamehameha in a clash that shook the Earth, winning by unleashing his full power when Vegeta distracted Cell, killing Cell in the process^{Cell Saga}

Adult Gohan

"Are you really gonna fight me?"
"Fight you? No, I'm gonna kill you."

Bio

Strength

Lifting

• [SSJ] Pulled the Z Sword out of its pedestal^{Buu Saga}
• After one day of training he was able to easily wield the Z Sword^{Buu Saga}
  • The Z Sword is extremely heavy^{Buu Saga}
• [Ultimate] [Limit] He, Piccolo, Jaco, Android 17 and Android 18 couldn't stop Saganbo's advance^{Galactic Patrol Prisoner Saga}
• Initially struggled when Piccolo gave him weighted clothes, though he was fine after getting used to them^{Super Hero Saga}
• Lifted a chunk of debris off of himself with one arm^{Super Hero Saga}
• [Ultimate] Pulled Gamma 2 back while he was ramming Piccolo^{Super Hero Saga}
• [Beast] Effortlessly pushed Cell Max's fist back with one hand^{Super Hero Saga}

Striking

• [SSJ] Beat the shit out of some bank robbers^{Buu Saga}
• Broke concrete by stomping^{Buu Saga}
• Chopped a gun out of a man's hands^{Buu Saga}
• KOd a man by bonking him on the head^{Buu Saga}
• [SSJ2] Sent Dabura flying back with a kick^{Buu Saga}
• [SSJ2] Kicked Fat Buu back^{Buu Saga}
• Broke the Z Sword on a block of katchin^{Buu Saga}
• [Ultimate] Sent Super Buu reeling with a punch and kick to the head^{Buu Saga}
• [Ultimate] Kicked Super Buu in the face and punched him in the gut^{Buu Saga}
• [Ultimate] Kicked Super Buu into the air and smashed him back to the ground^{Buu Saga}
• [Ultimate] [Limit] Buutenks effortlessly caught his hits^{Buu Saga}
• One-shot groups of Frieza Force soldiers^RoF(movie)
• [SSJ] One-shot Shisami^RoF(movie)
  • Manga version^{RoF(manga) #3}
• [Ultimate] Kicked Rozel hard enough to make them let go of Piccolo^{Universal Survival Saga}
• [Ultimate] Slapped Kefla's blast away^{Universal Survival Saga}
• [Ultimate] Kicked Kefla back from an awkward position^{Universal Survival Saga}
• [Ultimate] Knocked Kefla off the Tournament of Power arena in a mutual KO^{Universal Survival Saga}
• [Ultimate] Punched 7-3 in the chest hard enough for his fist to bulge out his back and tear a hole in his jumpsuit^{Galactic Patrol Prisoner Saga}
• [Ultimate] Staggered giant 7-3 with a kick^{Galactic Patrol Prisoner Saga}
• [Ultimate] Knocked giant 7-3 down with a flying kick
• [Ultimate] Punched 7-3 into a lake, making a huge splash^{Galactic Patrol Prisoner Saga}
• [Ultimate] [Limit] Did absolutely nothing to Moro 7-3
• Flicked a gun out of a man's hand^{Super Hero Saga}
• Crushed a gun under his foot^{Super Hero Saga}
• Flew through a ship's window and landed with enough force to launch water and multiple people into the air^{Super Hero Saga}
• Floored Gamma 1 with a kick^{Super Hero Saga}
• [SSJ] Broke chunks of debris off a hole by flying out^{Super Hero Saga}
• [SSJ] Deflected Gamma 1's charged blast^{Super Hero Saga}
  • [Ultimate] And again^{Super Hero Saga}
• [SSJ] Traded blows with Gamma 1^{Super Hero Saga}
• [Ultimate] Stung Gamma 1's hand when he blocked his punch^{Super Hero Saga}
• [Ultimate] Pummeled Gamma 1 and kicked him into the ground, cracking it^{Super Hero Saga}
• [Ultimate] Kicked Gamma 1 out of the air^{Super Hero Saga}
• [Ultimate] Battered Gamma 1 and kicked him into a building^{Super Hero Saga}
• [Ultimate] Charged at Gamma 1 and punched him in the face, sending him flying across the Red Ribbon Army's base^{Super Hero Saga}
• [Ultimate] Sent Gamma 1 flying back with a headbutt^{Super Hero Saga}
• [Ultimate] Floored Cell Max with a flying uppercut^{Super Hero Saga}
• [Beast] Kicked Cell Max in the chest, sending him flying through a building and into a rock wall^{Super Hero Saga}
• Deflected bullets with one finger^{Super Hero Saga}
• [SSJ] Knocked SSJ Trunks back with a swinging kick and SSJ Goten with a punch^{Super Hero Saga}
• [SSJ] Traded blows with SSJ Trunks^{Super Hero Saga}
• [Ultimate] Kicked Fat Gotenks into Beerus' giant tree, making a huge dust cloud^{Super Hero Saga}
• [Beast] Made shockwaves across Beerus' planet that sent people and cars flying, shook trees and lakes, and dug massive craters by trading blows with MUI Goku^{Super Hero Saga}
• [Beast] Kicked MUI Goku through a mesa and a forest^{Super Hero Saga}
• [Beast] Punched the ground, sending a shockwave through it that blew up a plateau^{Super Hero Saga}
• [Beast] Made explosions with the air pressure from his punches^{Super Hero Saga}
• [Beast] Punched MUI Goku in the chest and kicked him across Beerus' planet, knocking him back to base form^{Super Hero Saga}
• [Beast] Sent base Broly flying back with a punch before pummeling him^{Super Hero Saga}
• [Beast] Traded blows with SSJ Broly^{Super Hero Saga}

Blocking

• Blocked an attack from 3 Frieza Force soldiers at once^RoF(movie)
• [SSJ] Blocked Goten and Trunks' hits in their base forms and as SSJs^{Super Hero Saga}
• [Ultimate] Blocked base Broly's punches^{Super Hero Saga}

Throwing

• Floored a teenager by gently throwing a baseball at him^{Buu Saga}
• [SSJ] Flipped over Trunks' kick while grappling with him and threw him away^{Super Hero Saga}
• [SSJ] Caught SSJ Goten's kick and threw him away^{Super Hero Saga}
• [Beast] Threw SSJ Broly at Beerus' giant tree, snapping it in half^{Super Hero Saga}

Grip

• Crushed a pistol^{Buu Saga}
• [SSJ2] Caught Dabura's sword in his hands and twisted it in half^{Buu Saga}
• Crushed a wooden window frame^{Super Hero Saga}

Jumping

• Jumped 8 metres high^{Buu Saga}
• Leapt up 5 storeys^{Buu Saga}
• [Ultimate] Jumped high enough to kick a flying enemy^{Universal Survival Saga}
• [SSJ] Jumped over Goten and Trunks' Double Hurricane^{Super Hero Saga}

Other

• [Ultimate] Flexed out of Buutenks' Galactic Donuts chain^{Buu Saga}
• [Ultimate] Held Gamma 1's mouth open when he tried to bite him^{Super Hero Saga}

Durability

Blunt

• No-sold a fastball to the face^{Buu Saga}
• [SSJ2] Slapped out of the air and through some boulders by Fat Buu^{Buu Saga}
• [Ultimate] Sent flying by a punch from Buutenks^{Buu Saga}
• [Ultimate] Kicked into the air by Buutenks^{Buu Saga}
• [Ultimate] Elbowed deep underground by Buutenks^{Buu Saga}
• [Ultimate] Pummeled by Buutenks off-panel^{Buu Saga}
• [Ultimate] Kiaid through some rocks by Buutenks^{Buu Saga}
• [SSJ] [Limit] First Form Frieza stopped his heart with one punch^RoF(movie)
• [Ultimate] Fine after getting sent flying back by Lavender^{Universal Survival Saga}
• [Ultimate] Fine after Kefla cratered him into the Tournament of Power arena^{Universal Survival Saga}
• [Ultimate] Knocked off the Tournament of Power arena by Kefla in a mutual KO^{Universal Survival Saga}
• Pummeled by Yunba after his ki was drained^{Galactic Patrol Prisoner Saga}
• [Ultimate] Cratered into the ground face-first by Saganbo^{Galactic Patrol Prisoner Saga}
• [Ultimate] Recovered in mid-air after Saganbo sent him flying^{Galactic Patrol Prisoner Saga}
• [Ultimate] Floored by a punch from Saganbo^{Galactic Patrol Prisoner Saga}
• [Ultimate] Kicked into the air by Moro 7-3^{Galactic Patrol Prisoner Saga}
• [Ultimate] [Limit] One-shot by Moro 7-3^{Galactic Patrol Prisoner Saga}
• Winded by a gutpunch from Piccolo^{Super Hero Saga}
• Fine after Gamma 2 kicked him out of the air^{Super Hero Saga}
• Blocked Gamma 1's punches^{Super Hero Saga}
• Pummeled by Gamma 1, taking a headbutt and a slam before getting kicked hard enough to crater and burst through the ground^{Super Hero Saga}
• Fine after Gamma 1 kicked him at a pillar^{Super Hero Saga}
• [SSJ] Slammed face-first into and dragged through the ground by Gamma 1^{Super Hero Saga}
• [SSJ] Thrown into the air and kicked underground by Gamma 1^{Super Hero Saga}
• [SSJ] Fine after Cell Max elbowed him into some rock^{Super Hero Saga}
• [SSJ] Got up after Cell Max grabbed him and slammed him into the ground hard enough to leave a crater, though it did knock him out of SSJ^{Super Hero Saga}
• [Beast] No-sold a punch from Cell Max that sent a shockwave through the ground that blew up part of a cliff^{Super Hero Saga}
• [Beast] Kicked into the air and smashed underwater by MUI Goku^{Super Hero Saga}
• [Beast] Recovered in mid-air after MUI Goku kicked him away^{Super Hero Saga}
• [Beast] Shoved out of the air by MUI Goku^{Super Hero Saga}
• [Beast] Took a punch from SSB Vegeta^{Super Hero Saga}

Ki attacks

• [SSJ2] Fine after getting launched through a butte by Dabura's fireball^{Buu Saga}
• [SSJ2] Sent flying miles away by Fat Buu's ki blast^{Buu Saga}
  
  • This almost killed him^{Buu Saga}
• [Ultimate] Hit with a blast from Buutenks that destroyed some rock formations^{Buu Saga}
  
• [Ultimate] Hit by his own blast that went straight through the Earth^{Buu Saga}
  
• [Beast] Took a scream from Goku^{Super Hero Saga}
  

Other

• [SSJ2] [Limit] Yamu was able to stab him with an energy drainer^{Buu Saga}
• [Ultimate] Ok after getting caught by 7-3's Fire and Flames^{Galactic Patrol Prisoner Saga}
• [Beast] Took a scream from Goku^{Super Hero Saga}

Speed

Flight

• Outsped the Nimbus while not at full speed^{Buu Saga}
• Can fly from home to his school in 20 minutes^{Buu Saga}
  • His house is over 1,000 km away from his school^{Buu Saga}
• Caught up to a speeding car^{Buu Saga}
• [SSJ2] [Limit] Was easily caught by Fat Buu^{Buu Saga}
• [Ultimate] Tore up the ground by flying over it^{Buu Saga}
• [Ultimate] Saved Piccolo, Trunks and Goten from Super Buu's explosion^{Buu Saga}
• Flew from the Lookout to North City in a few minutes^{RoF(manga) #2}
• Grabbed Krillin out of the way of some Frieza Force soldiers' blasts^RoF(movie)
• [Ultimate] Saved Piccolo from 7-3's Special Beam Cannon^{Galactic Patrol Prisoner Saga}

Agility

• [Ultimate] Used Piccolo's solid ki blasts as stepping stones as he flipped around 7-3's blasts^{Galactic Patrol Prisoner Saga}
• [Ultimate] Backflipped off a rock after getting sent flying back^{Galactic Patrol Prisoner Saga}

Combat

• [SSJ] Blocked SSJ Goten's hits^{Buu Saga}
• Perceived Frieza Force soldiers in slow motion as he blitzed them^RoF(movie)
• [Ultimate] Fended off the Trio de Danger's attacks^{Universal Survival Saga}
• [Beast] Increased his speed as he fought MUI Goku, with his hits getting closer and closer to landing before finally hitting him^{Super Hero Saga}
• [Ultimate] Leapt back to dodge Broly's punch and lead into a backflip^{Super Hero Saga}
• Flash-stepped between Piccolo and Shisami^RoF(movie) Reaction

Dodging

• [SSJ] Dodged a rock Goten threw at him from close up^{Buu Saga}
• [SSJ] Dodged more rocks from further away, then some more from closer up^{Buu Saga}
• [SSJ2] Dodged Dabura's fire breath^{Buu Saga}
• [Ultimate] Dodged Buutenks' Kamehameha^{Buu Saga}
• [Ultimate] Dodged 7-3's Hellzone Grenade when it was inches away from hitting him^{Galactic Patrol Prisoner Saga}
• [Ultimate] Dodged giant 7-3 trying to punch and grab him^{Galactic Patrol Prisoner Saga}
• [Ultimate] Repeatedly dodged giant 7-3's stretchy arms^{Galactic Patrol Prisoner Saga}
• [Ultimate] Dodged Gamma 2's blasts^{Super Hero Saga}
• [SSJ] Dodged Cell Max's Disaster Ray^{Super Hero Saga}
• [SSJ] Dodged Cell Max's mouth blasts^{Super Hero Saga}
• [SSJ] Dodged SSJ Trunks' blast and SSJ Goten's swing^{Super Hero Saga}
• [SSJ] Flew above SSJ Trunks' kick while grappling with him^{Super Hero Saga}
• [SSJ] Dodged Goten's kick from behind^{Super Hero Saga}

Other

• [SSJ] Caught a number of bullets at close range^{Buu Saga}
• [SSJ2] Caught Dabura's sword swing^{Buu Saga}
• [Ultimate] Caught Super Buu's punch^{Buu Saga}
• Blocked a surprise attack from Piccolo, though he got hit by a second^{Super Hero Saga}
• [Ultimate] Slapped several of Gamma 1's blasts away^{Super Hero Saga}
• Effortlessly deflected bullets^{Super Hero Saga}

Movement

• Ran faster than cars^{Buu Saga}
• Quickly ran through a forest^{Buu Saga}
• [SSJ2] Took off his glove before it turned into stone from Dabura's spit^{Buu Saga}
• [Ultimate] Got behind Super Buu without him noticing^{Buu Saga}
• Flash-stepped between Piccolo and Shisami^RoF(movie)
• [Ultimate] Ran up giant 7-3's arm^{Galactic Patrol Prisoner Saga}

Skill

• Coached Goten and Trunks while the pair were fighting Abo and Cado, helping them to successfully overwhelm the duo and their doubles^YSG&HF
• [SSJ] Dodged Trunks' kick while grappling with him and used the momentum to throw him away^{Super Hero Saga}

Intelligence

• Tricked a dinosaur into running into a rock^{Saiyan Saga}
• Is a master of manipulation^{Frieza Saga}
• [Anti-feat] Is very bad at hiding his secret identity^{Buu Saga}
  • Seriously, wtf Gohan^{Buu Saga}
• Knows how to bait Goku with food^YSG&HF

Ki

General

• [Ultimate] Sensed that Dende was still alive^{Buu Saga}
• Sensed Frieza's revival^RoF(movie)
  • Manga version^{ROF(manga) #1}
• [Ultimate] Sensed a bug-sized enemy, allowing him to warn Android 17 about him^{Universal Survival Saga}

Power

• [SSJ2] The ki drained from him by Spopovich and Yamu was almost half the needed energy to revive Buu^{Buu Saga}
• [Ultimate] Super Buu could sense his power from the Kai planet while still on Earth^{Buu Saga}
• [Ultimate] Would have been able to beat Buuiccolo^{Buu Saga}
• Frieza said he could have beaten the entire Frieza Force on his own^RoF(movie)
  • Manga version^{RoF(manga) #3}
• [SSJ] Made a massive crater by powering up^{Super Hero Saga}
• [Ultimate] Made a giant pillar of light by transforming that burst the roof of the Red Ribbon Army's base and parted the clouds^{Super Hero Saga}
• [Beast] Destroyed his glasses by transforming and dug a crater under his house, with Goku and Vegeta sensing it from Beerus' planet^{Super Hero Saga}

Barriers

• [Ultimate] Used one to shield himself and Piccolo from 7-3's Special Beam Cannon before pushing it forwards with the help of Piccolo's own SBC, destroying 7-3's arm^{Galactic Patrol Prisoner Saga}
• [Ultimate] Shielded himself from Moro 7-3's ki blasts^{Galactic Patrol Prisoner Saga}

Blasts

• [Ultimate] Fired one at Buutenks that burrowed straight through the Earth when deflected^{Buu Saga}
• Damaged a crevasse and KOd a group of Frieza Force soldiers^RoF(movie)
• [Ultimate] Cratered 7-3 into a far off rock^{Galactic Patrol Prisoner Saga}
• [Ultimate] Blasted giant 7-3's knees to make him lose his balance^{Galactic Patrol Prisoner Saga}
• [Ultimate] [Limit] A combined blast with Piccolo that would have destroyed the Earth did nothing to Saganbo^{Galactic Patrol Prisoner Saga}
• [SSJ] Annoyed Cell Max^{Super Hero Saga}
• [Ultimate] Pushed Cell Max through metres of stone with a barrage before hitting him with a charged blast^{Super Hero Saga}

Kiais

• [SSJ] Flipped a truck^{Buu Saga}

Masenko

• [Ultimate] Combined it with Piccolo's Special Beam Cannon to make the Masenko Beam Cannon, making a giant explosion that destroyed 7-3's right arm, right leg and part of his skin^{Galactic Patrol Prisoner Saga}

Kamehameha

• [SSJ2] [Limit] Couldn't damage Buu's cocoon^{Buu Saga}
• [Ultimate] Used one to stop himself from falling off the Tournament of Power arena^{Universal Survival Saga}
• [Ultimate] Would have probably killed 7-3 if he hadn't absorbed it^{Galactic Patrol Prisoner Saga}
• [Ultimate] Could blow up the Earth with one, though he can just detonate it before it hits and prevent any serious damage^{Galactic Patrol Prisoner Saga}
• [SSJ] [Limit] Cell Max slapped one away^{Super Hero Saga}
• [SSJ] Annoyed Cell Max^{Super Hero Saga}

Super Explosive Wave

• [Ultimate] Pushed the Trio de Danger back^{Universal Survival Saga}

Galactic Donuts

• [Ultimate] Restrained Moro 7-3^{Galactic Patrol Prisoner Saga}

Special Beam Cannon

• [Beast] Beam struggled against Cell Max's Explosive Scream, with the pair evenly matched until SSJ Goten and Trunks distracted Cell Max, allowing Gohan to pierce through his attack and his head^{Super Hero Saga}

🌿 Detailed Overview:
A modern and practical approach to the ancient practice of Tantra, focusing on its application to intimate relationships. Richardson explores how Tantric principles can enhance sexual experiences, deepen emotional connections, and foster spiritual growth within partnerships. The book provides a comprehensive guide to understanding and practicing Tantric sex, emphasizing the importance of presence, relaxation, and connection in creating a fulfilling sexual and spiritual union.
🔍 Key Themes and Insights:
Introduction to Tantric Sex: Richardson begins by introducing the core principles of Tantric sex, explaining how it differs from conventional sexual practices. She emphasizes the importance of slowing down, being present, and cultivating awareness during intimate encounters.
The Role of Energy: The book delves into the concept of sexual energy and its significance in Tantra. Richardson explains how sexual energy can be harnessed and transformed into a powerful force for healing and spiritual awakening.
Presence and Awareness: Richardson highlights the importance of presence and awareness in Tantric sex. She provides practical exercises to help couples develop mindfulness and deep connection during their intimate moments.
Relaxation and Letting Go: One of the key aspects of Tantric sex is relaxation. Richardson discusses how letting go of tension and expectations can lead to more profound and pleasurable sexual experiences. She offers techniques for achieving deep relaxation and surrender.
Breathing Techniques: The book includes various breathing exercises that enhance the flow of sexual energy and increase intimacy between partners. Richardson explains how conscious breathing can deepen the connection and intensify the experience.
Emotional Connection: Richardson emphasizes the role of emotional intimacy in Tantric sex. She provides guidance on how to open up emotionally, communicate effectively, and create a safe and loving environment for deeper connection.
Sacredness of Sex: Tantric sex is seen as a sacred act that goes beyond physical pleasure. Richardson explores the spiritual dimensions of sexuality, encouraging couples to view their intimate moments as opportunities for spiritual growth and transformation.
Practical Techniques: The book offers a variety of practical techniques for couples to explore, including specific positions, touch practices, and rituals. Richardson provides detailed instructions to help couples integrate these techniques into their sexual practice.
Healing and Transformation: Richardson discusses the healing potential of Tantric sex, explaining how it can address physical, emotional, and spiritual wounds. She offers insights into how couples can use Tantric practices to heal and transform their relationship.
Integration into Daily Life: Richardson emphasizes the importance of integrating Tantric principles into everyday life. She provides tips for maintaining a Tantric mindset and staying connected with one’s partner outside of sexual encounters.
Audience Takeaway:
"The Heart of Tantric Sex" is a valuable resource for couples looking to deepen their sexual and emotional connection through Tantric practices. Diana Richardson offers a practical and accessible guide that demystifies Tantra and provides readers with tools to enhance their intimate relationships. Readers will gain a deeper understanding of Tantric sex, learn practical techniques for increasing presence and connection, and find inspiration for integrating these practices into their daily lives.
💌 Your Experiences and Reflections:
How has Diana Richardson's approach to Tantric sex influenced your intimate relationship? Have you and your partner practiced any of the techniques described in the book, and what impact have they had on your connection and intimacy? Share your experiences and reflections on exploring Tantric sex and its role in your relationship. Let's discuss the challenges and rewards of integrating Tantric principles into intimate life and the insights gained from Richardson's teachings.

• Purchase

If you're going to kick the first person that tries to join, or haven't the vaguest familiarity with the game and yet will not follow anyone's lead but your own, or if you allow people to join and then you proceed to run endlessly around dungeons that you previously cleared and with the map showing fully explored, or if you're basically a demented and psychologically underdeveloped misanthrope who doesn't work or play well with others -- then keep your shitshow set to private or friends-only.
Like Pacino said in Heat: don't waste my motherfucking time!
I just had a run-in with some twerp. Username begins with a K-E-N-J, if he should happen to be reading this. As I joined and was waiting on deck, he died trying to solo the Root Mother extraction mission. I joined and carried him through this mission on the first attempt together as he was frantically pinging the Root Mother area indicating I should stand a post -- I ended up completing the mission while the host was decorating the floor like a carpet, which I assume is the host's standard attitude -- and the next thing you know the little pecker bans me.
BTW, I was exactly the same gear level as this flake.
All I'm saying is: if you don't know how to host -- if you're thin-skinned about your skills (or lack of), or if you don't really want people "messing up" your happy funtime with their "outsider" presence, or if you have the "don't look at me!" complex (or any other manifestation of an inferiority complex), or if you're just generally effed up in the head -- then don't go public.
Spare the people who want to enjoy the fun of an actual co-op experience, not a red herring.
It's not a complicated concept.
PS -- I'm not talking about people who went afk and simply forgot they were public, or people who are merely quitting out. All of that is normal and par for the course.

I have been trying to do this for hours but I just can't think of anything, or anything I think of is kind of stupid or I think of a poem but I can't think of twenty things to do all twenty things on the list.
Is there anything I can do to stop the writers block, or figure out what to write about, or any ideas anyone has?
Here's the things I have to write:
Begin the poem with a metaphor.
Say something specific but utterly preposterous.
Use at least one image for each of the five senses, either in succession, or randomly throughout the poem.
Use one example of synesthesia (mixing of the senses).
Use the proper name of a person and the proper name of a place.
Contradict something you said earlier in the poem.
Change direction or digress from the last thing you said.
Use a word (maybe slang) you’ve never seen in a poem.
Use an example of false cause-effect logic
Use a piece of “talk” you’ve actually heard (preferably in dialect and/or which you don’t understand.
Create a metaphor using the following construction: “The (adjective) (concrete noun) of (abstract noun)…
Use an image in such a way as to reverse its usual associative qualities.
Make a persona or character in the poem do something he/she/they could not do in “real life.”
Refer to yourself by nickname and in the third person.
Write in the future tense, such that part of the poem seems to be a prediction.
Modify a noun with an unlikely adjective.
Make a declarative assertion that sounds convincing but that finally makes no sense.
Use a phrase from a language other than English.
Make a non-human object say or do something human (personification.)
Close the poem with a vivid image that makes no statement, but that “echoes” an image from earlier in the poem.
The only thing I've got so far is I watch the sunlight dance on the water ( for personification )

Hello. I'm a 22-year-old guy who is a virgin ( which is normal at this point me thinks.) I feel frustrated with my current situation.
My college situation is not the greatest: this is essentially my 2nd time entering the 2nd year, all because I procrastinate. I wouldn't be surprised if I had ADHD at this point. Maybe I just subconciously hate studying without even knowing it. My mind is poisoned with things like anime and video games. As a person from the Balkan region, it's kind of difficult for me to afford things like consoles, but maybe that was for the best, since I grew up without having anything advanced, aside from a laptop and a Nintendo DS, which were both gifted by other relatives. We were kind of poor back when I was still in like elementary and middle school, but things started looking up for us once high school rolled around; to keep things simple, both of my parents got better jobs.
The english language is something I just tended to gravitate towards all the time, and even acting as well, but I didn't have much of a choice when it came to picking my college for the first time. By the time I finished high, it seemed like I was destined to follow the english path.
My first year of college began when CoVid was a fresh thing. Needless to say, it wasn't pretty going online, but we had no choice but to adapt to the situation really. The following year came and I dropped that responsibility after like 2.5 months, mainly due to 2 reasons: parents constantly fighting and mom getting CoVid (she recovered after a week). I didn't feel great myself; I was actually thinking about ending it all, but then I realized what I'd put others through. Back then my mindset was that nobody would miss me if I were gone; that I'm just an NPC everyone glances at sometimes, and I still feel like that from time to time.
Current me is thinking about leaving the country, regardless if I get to go legitimately or be shoved inside a box and transported there. Any job would do, just so I can start fresh and leave everything behind me. But alas, I'm not that brave, and solutions to problems don't fall of the sky.
I did have some friends in my high school years and before, but most of them treated me poorly; I was pretty naïve (or stupid rather) and pretty vulnerable. I tried my best to ignore the jabs, but even those became hard to manage.
I started playing handball for about 5-7 years. I was good at it, but I quit because one day nobody showed up, not even the coach (he moved to another country to be its player.) I tried football as a kid, but because I got picked on sometimes, I was forced to quit.
My mother is simply the best; we may bickeargue over tiny things, but we genuinely love each other a lot, like a true mother and son, but even she isn't perfect. She shielded me from the world a lot; I was barely going out during night time, hence why I didn't have many friends. The situation right now is the same: no money means no apartment, which means I don't get to be with my peers.
Regarding my dad, I can't say I hate him, but I also don't love him either. I genuinely would not care if something happened to him in thr future (God forbid). As a typical father, he was around, but not enough. He is CONSTANTLY going out of the house, to the point that mom and I just wonder when the f**k is he going to leave the house and leave us alone. I wouldn't be surprised if they divorced either.
I've never been in a relationship. Well, I have, an online one, but even I knew that wasn't meant to last. Conflicting time zones + life things getting in the way made it hard for us to talk to one another. To be fair, we were roleplaying in the beginning (early Instagram was wild back in the day), but then those emotions became real over time. I broke it off after 4 years, because someone had to do it, and we weren't talking all that much anyway. I'm quite shy: I don't have the confidence to just approach girls and ask them for their number or whatever.
I only have 3 actual people I can call true friends at this point: 2 of them I know from the city I go to college (2 years of friendship) and the other one I know through Discord (6 or so years of friendship), and they're the best thing that happened to me; I wouldn't trade them for anything.
As of writing this, my June exams are beginning, with me, as always, not taking it seriously. Going to the gym gives me an excuse to get out of the house and not sit all day in it, and I have been thinking of getting a driver's licence. Cars never really interested me, but I'm going to need a licence in case I fail to get into the next year of college and find a job in my hometown.
Well, I suppose that's all for now. If you have anything to say, please feel free to ask them.

Hello , this is my fifth submission. It feels like it's trending in the right direction thanks to the feedback I've been getting from you all.
I would love to hear some more thoughts because I would like to start querying in the near future, but don't want to jump the gun unless the query itself is ready. I'm open to any and ALL criticism and feedback. Thank you in advance!
[First Attempt](https://www.reddit.com/PubTips/comments/1b2oprl/qcrit_adult_science_fiction_god_particle_111k/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)
[Second Attempt](https://www.reddit.com/PubTips/comments/1b8cxqn/qcrit_adult_science_fiction_god_particle_111k/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)
[Third Attempt](https://www.reddit.com/PubTips/comments/1cr7k53/qcrit_adult_science_fiction_god_particle_111k/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)
[Fourth Attempt](https://www.reddit.com/PubTips/comments/1cy7p00/qcrit\_adult\_science\_fiction\_god\_particle\_111k/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web3x&utm\_name=web3xcss&utm\_term=1&utm\_content=share\_button)
QUERY
[Dear Agent]
Detective Asaju knew she’d have to face death eventually, she just thought it would’ve been in 200 years. After catching a group of hackers ID scrubbing a simple arrest quickly turns into a blood bath. Surviving a dance of blades thanks only to her cybernetic enhancements, Asaju meets Helel, a man known to only a handful as the devil of Nauru.
Preferring to speak the languages of his past lives, Helel is surprised when Asaju speaks Latin. Seeing an old soul that he recognizes Helel spares Asaju believing he’s found his successor. Recruited by the Intelligence Division, Asaju joins the hunt for Helel and his cult. Through her investigation Asaju learns how untouchable the corporations that run the world are, and how they’ve tricked those they exploit into believing they’re happy.
Helel’s plan to save humanity from itself finally begins when he hijacks a news station and promises to change the world in six days. Asaju and the Intelligence Division move in to capture him only to find themselves ensnared in Helel’s trap. Asaju sacrifices herself so others can escape, but the devil always gets his due.
Asaju is drugged with a mind altering hallucinogen that leaves her questioning who she really is. Seeing things that leave her both terrified and at peace, Asaju begins to wonder if these thoughts are her own, or if she’s just clay being shaped by the hand of the devil. As she struggles with her own sanity and tracking down Helel, Asaju realizes there may be fates worse than death.
GOD PARTICLE is an adult science fiction novel in the cyberpunk subgenre complete at 110,000 words. It combines the futuristic world of (insert comp I'm still looking for, last book I read did not work, that's 4-5 so far, but at someone suggested the Murderbot Diaries. I'm rereading the first but I don't think it fits, at least book 1. Last suggestion was maybe Womb City. The synopsis doesn't sound close but the world might be similar. Richard K Morgan's "Thin Air" has a similar world and detective vibe, but it came out in 2018, so 6 years ago. Is that possibly still okay to use?), and the mind bending and detective elements of Blake Crouch's, Recursion.
I graduated with a bachelor's degree in Cinema with an emphasis in Screenwriting from [insert uni name] before I transitioned to writing novels six years ago and am so exciting to be sharing my debut novel with you. (insert brief reasons why I think they would be a good fit to represent God Particle).
Thank you for your time and consideration.
FIRST 300:
Detective Asaju watched a kaleidoscope of colors dance above the street. The glittering holos moved against each building trying to entice partiers inside with every attraction imaginable. Asaju secretly envied these people. To her, the swirling mosaics were beautiful, but unappealing. She once heard a spaced raver describe them as “unicorn barf,” which perfectly summarized how she felt about them.
She stood beneath the holo of a shield that read, DigiSafe, behind a neon green phrase, NOT SAFE ENOUGH, and a laughing face. No one paid it any attention here in the entertainment district. It was normal for everyone to be in their loudest outfits, wearing the flashiest augments money could buy. Graffiti or not, the holo was too tame to be noticed by anyone. Ironically, it was Asaju who garnered the most attention. In a sea of color her plain gray jacket, dark jeans, and black shirt couldn’t have stood out more. Thankfully no one paid her more than a cursory glance before continuing on their way.
“How we lookin, Garcia?” she asked, scanning the crowd with her police issued EyeDent glasses that brought up the ID of every person that walked by. Almost everyone’s tag above their head was green, with only a few yellows sprinkled here and there. Most were unpaid tickets for overtuned cybernetics or unregistered solicitation. None of it was worth the paperwork or hassle of bringing them down to the station. Seeing nothing of interest, Asaju rubbed her wrists as she watched a woman with an augmented chest that looked like it had been dipped in a vat of pink satin walk past.
“Wired in now,” Garcia shouted over the crowd.
“I’m counting on you to find something I can follow up on,” Asaju said while looking down at him. He was a scrawny guy who looked even smaller as he sat on the ground with his terminal on his lap.

🌿 Detailed Overview:
A comprehensive exploration of the Vajrayana, or Tantric, path within Tibetan Buddhism. Trungpa, a renowned Buddhist teacher, offers deep insights into the advanced practices of Tantra, emphasizing the transformation of ordinary experiences into opportunities for spiritual awakening. This volume delves into the intricate teachings and practices that lead to indestructible wakefulness, a state of profound spiritual realization.
🔍 Key Themes and Insights:
Introduction to Vajrayana: Trungpa begins with an overview of Vajrayana Buddhism, explaining its unique approach to enlightenment. He emphasizes the swift and direct methods Vajrayana offers for transforming the mind and achieving spiritual awakening.
The Nature of Tantra: The book delves into the essence of Tantric practices, highlighting the use of rituals, symbols, and visualizations to access and transform the subtle energies within the body. Trungpa explains how Tantra integrates all aspects of life into the path of enlightenment.
Guru and Transmission: Trungpa discusses the importance of the guru-student relationship in Vajrayana practice. He explains the role of the guru in transmitting teachings and blessings, and how this relationship is crucial for the proper understanding and application of Tantric practices.
Empowerments and Initiations: The book covers the various empowerments and initiations that are essential in Vajrayana practice. Trungpa provides insights into the significance of these rituals and how they empower practitioners to engage in advanced Tantric practices.
Deity Yoga: A central practice in Vajrayana is Deity Yoga, where practitioners visualize themselves as a deity to embody enlightened qualities. Trungpa provides detailed instructions on this practice, explaining its purpose and benefits.
Sacred Outlook and Pure Perception: Trungpa emphasizes the development of sacred outlook and pure perception, where practitioners learn to see the world and all beings as inherently pure and sacred. This shift in perception is essential for the Tantric path.
The Role of Meditation: The book outlines various meditation practices specific to Vajrayana, including visualization, mantra recitation, and contemplation. Trungpa explains how these meditative techniques cultivate indestructible wakefulness.
Transformation of Emotions: Trungpa teaches how to transform negative emotions into wisdom through Tantric practices. He provides methods for working with anger, desire, and ignorance, turning them into powerful tools for spiritual growth.
Subtle Body Practices: The book explores the practices related to the subtle body, including working with energy channels (nadis), energy centers (chakras), and vital winds (pranas). Trungpa explains how these practices support the awakening of Kundalini energy.
Integration into Daily Life: Trungpa emphasizes the integration of Tantric practices into daily life, showing how ordinary activities can be transformed into spiritual practice. He provides practical advice for maintaining mindfulness and awareness throughout the day.
Audience Takeaway:
"The Tantric Path of Indestructible Wakefulness: The Profound Treasury of the Ocean of Dharma, Volume Three" is an essential resource for serious practitioners of Tibetan Buddhism and those interested in advanced Tantric practices. Chögyam Trungpa offers a profound and comprehensive guide to the Vajrayana path, providing deep insights and practical instructions for achieving indestructible wakefulness. Readers will gain a deeper understanding of Tantric practices, learn how to transform ordinary experiences into opportunities for spiritual awakening, and find inspiration for integrating these teachings into their daily lives.
💌 Your Experiences and Reflections:
How has Chögyam Trungpa's exploration of Vajrayana Buddhism influenced your spiritual practice? Have you engaged in any of the Tantric practices described in the book, and what impact have they had on your journey towards indestructible wakefulness? Share your experiences and reflections on the profound teachings of Vajrayana and how they have transformed your perception and practice. Let's discuss the challenges and rewards of walking the Tantric path and the insights gained from Trungpa's wisdom.

I’ve been a lurker for years, but I was just in a askreddit thread of underrated animes and I noticed there were some responses that jumped out as “not natural” to me.
Specifically, I noticed that there was a pattern of users with two word phrase plus random number usernames all commenting a single anime in two sentence posts. The first sentence was always the name of an anime and then “is [adjective] [quality or genre]” and then a couple of words about the plot or a theme.
The second sentence was always a compliment beginning with “Its.”
I was looking for recommendations, but I suddenly realized that the thread feels very artificial. I’ve been on forums for 20 years and I’ve seen lots of recommendation threads and none of them look like this. People will recommend a beloved show and wax poetic about it for paragraphs, but then there will be short posts that are just a list. None are this organized with consistent structure.
Is Reddit using AI to recommend shows? Is that ethical if they aren’t telling you? Did they tell us and I just missed it?