Howdy, it's that time of the month again, if you're new since we seem to be getting a lot of those people every month lately, howdy! I'm the guy who takes the developers' monthly devblogs and condenses them down into something smaller and more digestible while also providing some of my own thoughts along the way.
Filipe's Section (Lead Programmer)
Filipe has been working on Rex's new crush ability, and a "throw" ability for rex which is not exclusive to the crush ability. Grapple is getting tweaked, but mostly for balance.
Apparently a new corpse-ability is in the current horde-test. Tap "E" three times over a corpse and it will break it open immediately without having to bite it a million times.
The code for the new "Mass Migrations" has been finalized.
Amar0k's Section (Programmer)
Some new stuff for server hosts that allow for real-time server configuration modification if I'm understanding this correctly. These include: Whitelist, adding/removing whitelisted IDs, AI toggling, changing available playables, changing AI density, togging Global Chat, and toggling Humans (pretty sure half this stuff was already being done by Petit Pieds but maybe I don't understand programming)
Taco AI is being tested. New changes are being made to make detecting small, hard to see AI easier, though not making it easier to catch.
Some tweaks to make your dino status when selecting a server that you have a saved dino on a little less ambiguous.
Ariel's Section (Programmer)
Mostly worked on prepping the hordetest. They still want to make some adjustments to sparrring before they turn that on.
Galli is getting a faster trot, but they want its leg-break speed to stay the same. This has made them make some changes to how fractures effect dino speeds to be a bit more varied.
Something vaguely described as "Carnotaurus Updates" without further details.
VisualTech's Section (Environmental Artist) (The guy who does the human stuff)
SCAFFOLDING! TARPS! DINO ENCLOSURES! Lots of pictures included. Not much else but technobabble about how the system for the modular whatsits work.
Wedge's Section (Sound Designer)
Most of this month has been dedicated to fixing that fatal error that everyone took Dondi at face-value when he said it "wasn't a priority."
^{Weird how people only take Dondi's statements as fact and also literal when they're about bad things that make people angry.}
They haven't found a fix yet, but in the pursuit of a fix they've found some good ways to improve memory usage. They're currently investigating two more additional possible fixes.
Some work has been done on Rex sounds, mentions of "classified" sounds in relation to Rex. Specifically Rex itself, which is curious. New sounds for Stego's new power-swing. Generally Stegio's tail-swing sounds are getting some attention, including a "whip" sound when it swings its tail. Which, frankly, sounds like a bit much to me for how slow Stego's tailswings are.
Bryan's Section (Animator)
Bryan's been working on some sparring animations. Mainly for situational animations. Maia's gotten some new animations, and some Rex sparring animations are being worked on, as is shown with a picture of a small rex sparring with a diablo.
Hypno's Section (Quality Assurance Lead)
A polite request that you give feedback on the mutation system now that it's available. Hypno is going to be paying close attention to the feedback channel for stuff about the mutations while the hordetest is going on.
More mutations are planned, species specific mutations for instance. Like Hypsi getting different spit effects based on the food its eaten is an idea they've had (not a plan, just an idea), Nesting will also allow babies to inherit mutations from the parents, and mutations that improve nesting as well.
A clip was posted of a bug they're having with sparring now, where the sparring target spins right round, like a record baby, right round, round, round. The bug is already fixed but always nice to see the bugs that don't make it to live.
Taco is being a menace to QA with bugs, which is why we don't have it. Lots of crashes related to it, but they still plan to release it in the actual final version of the update.
Kissin's Section (Producer)
Apparently, expect a random peppering of new stuff as they update the hordetest, including new locations, animations, and adjustments to movement and mechanics. Grapple should be making its way into the hordetest relatively "Soon"^tm This mechanic's existance is a buff to all pouncing creatures by virtue of existing and a nerf to big stuff like stego.
Maia is almost animation-complete. Supposedly it should join the list of playables a lot more smoothly than a lot of the past evrima playables. They've been teaching the new members of the animation team how they do things so the main animators like Bryan can laser-focus on specific playables.
My Thoughts:
An alright devblog. Not much in the way of concrete new stuff but decently open communication about issues that are holding back content and a nice clarification on Dondi's recent controversy so people can maybe put down their pitchforks and remember that sometimes, Dondi just says stupid shit and you really can't take anything that man says at face value, good or bad. ^{He's still an asshole though.}

I’m 24 male I can do manual labor I have associates in college been to school have been looking for a real job that will treat me right. I’m a hard worker that stands out as a leader I retain information that’s given to me. I have worked in a woodshop for since I was 14-20 I did landscaping for two years I’ve been in printing I have worked at private golf clubs I’ve worked at Amazon driving forklifts. I work very hard and have left most of these jobs because I have not been treated right last job I worked was scaffolding and left because they did not pay for travel time and we would drive two hours to a job till I could clock in and when we finished the job I clocked out and then 2 hours plus back because of traffic and wouldn’t get paid for travel time. I have had to sleep in a one bedroom apt with 3 grown men with job if it was more than 3 hours away and huge job. I am looking for a job who will do me right. I work hard I don’t stand around I have thick skin I try my hardest at work everyday I’m trying hard to get money saved and racked up I don’t do drugs I don’t smoke. I smoke cigarettes that’s it I’ll have a drink here or there but it’s never been my style. If you are looking for an employee with knowledge, wants to learn very badly and shows up on time and dosent leave early will always be there I am your guy. I have my resume all over the place shoot me a dm or comment and I will reach out. I’m tired of not being treated right by my boss and employers. I get a long with my crew and foreman they are great we crack jokes n all but I’m done wasting my own time sitting in a truck for 2 hours or me and not being paid and the conditions I work in. I have a lot experience. I just need an employer to do me right and you will have an employee who will work his tail off to get the job done right correctly and safely.

I wanted to get an opinion on the best repair options for two old chimneys that are covered in Stucco. I live in an old (1910) house that is in a historic neighborhood district. One of the chimneys is a small furnace chimney which will be torn down below the roof line (it's in really bad shape). The other two chimneys are in better shape but could use some repairs. Tearing down the two main chimneys is not an option due to historic zoning rules, not that I want to tear them down anyways.
Both of the main chimneys have had stucco applied to the outside. They suggest repairing/rebuilding the top few courses of damaged brick, tuckpointing where necessary, and then applying two additional layers of stucco on the outside of both chimneys. The outer layer of stucco would have a waterproofing powder added to it. Both chimneys would also receive flashing repair, concrete crown wash, and custom metal caps.
My question - Is this my best option for repair? Would it be better to just patch the stucco and cap the chimneys? I've read conflicting pieces of information on applying waterproofing agents and sealers to masonry chimneys.
Lastly, the total quote for this job was $31k, not including scaffolding setup. That quote includes teardown of one chimney and patching the hole, flashing repair, caps, and masonry repair on the two remaining chimneys. To be honest that's a lot more than I was expecting. I did receive a quote from another company for 12k that did not include removal of the old chimney but did include scaffolding and setup.
Chimney 1 - notice the failing stucco
Chimney 2 - The top courses of brick would be rebuild.

Prequel (Chapters 1 to 16)
1. Rise of a Valkyrie
First ¦ Previous ¦ Royal Road ¦ Patreon
Her grenade sailed neatly onto the platform, followed by two more, and the three Rangers made themselves as small behind their flimsy cover as they could. Then the world exploded. After so much silence and darkness, the lightning flashes crashed through Kayla’s ears, leaving her stunned.
The familiar but intimidating cracks of bullets passed over her head, as the squad’s two machineguns on the walkway opened up. They didn’t know what they were shooting at yet, but they triangulated their fire onto the grenade’s impact points to do as much damage to the area as possible.
“Contact on the left, behind those girders,” Thandi called through the radio.
Kayla picked up the sound of single shots from the maelstrom of noise. A momentary gap in the shooting let her hear the clatter of metallic feet. There were obviously several combat drones in the hall, and they had begun to maneuver.
She caught sight of movement above her head, and watched as a spidery form, sparking from damage, skittered up a wall, and stopped to shoot a burst of rounds towards the hall’s entrance. A burst of machine gun fire quickly found it, and pulverized the machine.
“Barnes, you’re in the clear,” Kes voice said in her headset. “Get into the fight; opposite side of the hall at your ten, retreating for an exit.”
Kayla shot upright, pulling her weapon to her shoulder as Bao and Ray did the same, they scanned the scene before them, watching tracer fire from the walkway as it pinpointed a group of scurrying shapes disappearing down an access corridor.
Kayla squeezed off a few rounds in their direction, then radioed back. “We’ve got you covered, move up.”
The Rangers sprinted through the hall until they had taken positions near to Kayla and the others. But the enemy had fled, and there was only one thing to do—give chase.
Yak rejoined her fire team with a fist bump, whilst Kes called the contact back to the platoon. Akane approved them to push forward, so Kayla took the lead. She gestured to the others before sprinting up to the exit the hostile drones had vanished through.
The squad bounded forward, moving from cover to cover, and watching carefully as they followed the path of their fleeing prey. Their illumination drone, travelling by autopilot, flew ahead of them. Kayla was most concerned they would be ambushed again, and she wanted to rush forward to keep the drones from setting up in a strong position. She kept advancing as far as she dared until Kes snapped a warning to her not to get too far ahead.
Periodically a spidery shape ducked out from behind an obstacle and sprayed bullets in their direction, then vanished out of sight. The Rangers followed, crossing several tram tunnels until they came to another immense hall, connected to a multi lane-logistical trunk.
“Entering echo-five, in pursuit of enemy contact,” Kes called to the platoon commander, as she took cover. “No—ignore my last. We’re at delta-five, delta-five.”
More spiders appeared, shooting and scooting at high speed around the new space. From what Kayla could see, it seemed clear that they were done retreating.
“We are in heavy contact,” Kes called, to Akane, “requesting support.”
She didn’t have to say anything more; Kayla stopped where she was and gestured to her fire team to take firing positions. They found cover behind what looked like a big set of garbage drones, and began shooting at anything that moved. The battle raged around them, and Kayla found herself growing impatient to see more Rangers show up.
“Two-two is moving into echo-six—adjacent to us—also pursuing a contact,” Kes called to the squad. “Hold your fire to the north.”
Kayla made a mental note, and shifted her aim. Fortunately, the combat drones didn’t seem to be moving in that direction anyway. Instead, they were scrambling to the west, where distant columns of containers provided them with good cover. They popped out to shoot quick bursts, before ducking away just as Kayla’s sights aligned on them. At that range she could barely make them out and react fast enough in the frustrating game of whack-a-mole.
“Viper Two-two,” Kes was saying, “two-one is taking cover by some kind of scrap processor. Confirm you are entering delta-five from the north end? We can surround them.”
Was it a scrap processor? Kayla glanced up at the thing she had been hiding behind. It seemed more like a vehicle, but things were happening fast and she was exhausted, running mainly on adrenaline. Bullets sparked off the steel bracings by her head, and she turned to return fire. Something scuttled off into the darkness as her rounds struck home.
There was a spark in the corner of her vision and she turned to see a new set of muzzle flashes not far from the distant containers. Her vizor zoomed into its double magnification, but she couldn’t make out much more in the shadows cast by the illumination drone.
“Kes, are we clear to the west?” she called.
“Uh…” Kes hesitated. “What do you have Kayla?”.
“A new element moving in from the west, heading for those containers. Lots of drones over there.”
“There’s friendlies to the north,” Kes replied. “Nothing west.”
“Yak!” Kayla called.
The Ranger lumbered over to her carrying the light machine gun, and under Kayla’s direction set up facing the direction she had seen the gunfire originating from. There was nothing moving there now, but she hadn’t seen anything leaving the area, so she motioned to Yak.
Streams of fire spat into the distant shadows, and Kayla popped off a few rounds of her own, before turning to scan for more movement. Then, a hail of gunfire came back that passed inches from her head, and made her duck down out of the way.
“That was accurate,” she observed out loud. For the first time that day, she felt a hint of genuine fear.
“Two-two is taking heavy fire in echo-six,” Kes announced. “They can’t get to us yet.”
Yak, without needing any prompting, kept up a steady burst of fire towards the new threat.
Kayla’s fear gave way to anger. The squad was becoming overwhelmed by the number of contacts, and they had to give the enemy everything they had. She sat back up to shoot, and saw movement.
An ice-cold hand squeezed her guts. The shape that had darted briefly between cover had been humanoid.
“Yak—” she began, but a bullet struck her helmet and she fell on her back while everything went momentarily dim.
When she tried to sit up, Kayla saw Yak hunching over the machine gun as it bucked in her arms. The woman’s back exploded with red spray, and she collapsed onto her side.
The scene unfolded like a nightmare. “Get down!” she called to the others “Friendly fire, friendly fire!”
The others dropped to their bellies, but Thandi, still shooting in the opposite direction, was slow to react. Kayla watched in horror as a burst of fire sparked off the floor then struck her friend in the legs. She screamed and dropped to the ground.
“Two-two, cease fire, cease fire. You are engaging us!” Kes screamed into the radio.
“Yak!” Kayla cried again, and crawled over to the woman’s still body. She checked for signs of life, and felt sick when she felt a weak and irregular pulse. “She needs a medic!”
Lyna darted over as the fire from the surrounding drones continued to pour in. She stuffed bandages and clotting solution where she could, while Kayla moved over to Thandi. She was pale, but conscious, and her eyes were rolling back with pain.
Kayla threw a tourniquet on her leg, and barely knew what else to do. But she had to act and move, because if she didn’t she would throw up. The battle had taken a horrifying turn, and Kayla felt her head spinning. Her thoughts became sluggish, and she found nothing more to do except wait for help.
The other Ranger squad had quickly shifted their fire, and were fighting back the drones more effectively. Kes was yelling on the radio, and Kayla understood that a team of PJs were on their way. The corporal’s voice had gone monotone as she called in the directions to their position that she only had just been able to correct.
Kayla seized Thandi’s hand as she writhed on the floor in pain. Eventually, Lyna finished with Yak and came over to apply an anesthetic. Kayla watched her best friend’s eyes begin to close, and something broke inside her.
She looked out from behind the squad’s hiding place. The drones were still fighting, darting back and forth as they were pushed to the north. But things were happening too slowly, and Kayla had had enough. Adrenaline and rage roared through her mind, barely keeping bile from rising up her throat. She had done this. She had shot at Rangers, and gotten her friends killed. And they were all still in danger.
The voices of her squad faded to the background, overwhelmed by one single, intense goal. She had to make the chaos end.
Ray had already picked up Yak’s machine gun and was shooting short, controlled bursts, so Kayla picked up Thandi’s. She checked the box, saw it was nearly empty, and reloaded the weapon.
Then, because training had instilled it within her, she called, “Moving,” and jumped to her feet.
In the near corner of the hall, a crane rose above the rest of the machinery. Kayla raced straight for it and began to climb. She heard the yelling in her headset, but couldn’t make out what the voices were saying. But it didn’t matter. She had to get up to the top. She didn’t even feel the strain in her muscles as she vaulted up the scaffold to the top. She was a bolt of lightning, without thought or feeling. Sparks shot off the metal near her hands, but they seemed so irrelevant.
Once she reached the top of the crane, she found a perfect platform from which she could take aim at everything around them. The drones were scurrying away now, across the open ground, while clouds of wasps seemed to buzz around Kayla’s head. There was no cover, either for them or for her. She propped the machine gun against the edge and lined up a drone through the weapon’s scope. It had nothing to hide behind, and went down under a concentrated burst. Then she moved on to the next, and then the next.
Eventually the hall went quiet, except for the yelling of voices and radio messages in her ears. Kayla sank onto the platform as her whole body began to shake, and she tried to rescue her senses from the roar that drowned them.
***
A Ranger hauled herself up to the top of the crane. Kayla watched as Ray raised her vizor and smiled down at her.
“How’s it going Kayla?” she asked, in a friendly voice.
“Yak’s dead,” Kayla said listlessly. “I killed her. And I got Thandi shot.” Her head snapped up. “How is she?”
“No-one’s dead. There’s a group of Pararescue working on them right now. They’re about to run Yak to the nearest exit, and a dropship is landing at the nearest entrance. She’ll be in surgery within twenty minutes. Thandi’s messed up, but she’s in stable condition.”
The adrenaline had already eased, and Kayla felt terribly cold, and so exhausted she could barely keep her eyes open.
“Anyway,” Ray continued as she moved closer, “There’s been a bunch of firefights and a lot of Valkyrie wounded. Things seem to be calming down now. Looks like we won—yay!” she said and punched the air.
“I can’t do it anymore,” Kayla said.
“What’s that, my dear?”
“Be a Viper. I screwed up again. I should leave the company.”
Ray nodded slowly and sat down beside her, dropping an arm over her shoulders. “It was a fun day, wasn’t it? Type four fun, I mean.”
Kayla just shook her head.
“How about we get you down from here, get some food, and maybe a nap?”
“I can’t move my arms or legs.”
Ray gingerly pushed on her limbs, and watched them flop freely. But when they tensed, Kayla’s face screwed up in a grimace.
“Looks like you tore up your muscles in that climb. I’m not surprised—you moved faster than one of those spider drones. No sweat. In half an hour the nanites will have fixed you up. We can just hang out here until then.”
Ray reached for her mic switch. “Barnes can’t move. We’ll be here a bit longer.”
First ¦ Previous ¦ Royal Road ¦ Patreon
Prequel (Chapters 1 to 16)
1. Rise of a Valkyrie

Prequel (Parts 1 to 16)
1. Rise of a Valkyrie
First ¦ Previous ¦ Royal Road ¦ Patreon
Her grenade sailed neatly onto the platform, followed by two more, and the three Rangers made themselves as small behind their flimsy cover as they could. Then the world exploded. After so much silence and darkness, the lightning flashes crashed through Kayla’s ears, leaving her stunned.
The familiar but intimidating cracks of bullets passed over her head, as the squad’s two machineguns on the walkway opened up. They didn’t know what they were shooting at yet, but they triangulated their fire onto the grenade’s impact points to do as much damage to the area as possible.
“Contact on the left, behind those girders,” Thandi called through the radio.
Kayla picked up the sound of single shots from the maelstrom of noise. A momentary gap in the shooting let her hear the clatter of metallic feet. There were obviously several combat drones in the hall, and they had begun to maneuver.
She caught sight of movement above her head, and watched as a spidery form, sparking from damage, skittered up a wall, and stopped to shoot a burst of rounds towards the hall’s entrance. A burst of machine gun fire quickly found it, and pulverized the machine.
“Barnes, you’re in the clear,” Kes voice said in her headset. “Get into the fight; opposite side of the hall at your ten, retreating for an exit.”
Kayla shot upright, pulling her weapon to her shoulder as Bao and Ray did the same, they scanned the scene before them, watching tracer fire from the walkway as it pinpointed a group of scurrying shapes disappearing down an access corridor.
Kayla squeezed off a few rounds in their direction, then radioed back. “We’ve got you covered, move up.”
The Rangers sprinted through the hall until they had taken positions near to Kayla and the others. But the enemy had fled, and there was only one thing to do—give chase.
Yak rejoined her fire team with a fist bump, whilst Kes called the contact back to the platoon. Akane approved them to push forward, so Kayla took the lead. She gestured to the others before sprinting up to the exit the hostile drones had vanished through.
The squad bounded forward, moving from cover to cover, and watching carefully as they followed the path of their fleeing prey. Their illumination drone, travelling by autopilot, flew ahead of them. Kayla was most concerned they would be ambushed again, and she wanted to rush forward to keep the drones from setting up in a strong position. She kept advancing as far as she dared until Kes snapped a warning to her not to get too far ahead.
Periodically a spidery shape ducked out from behind an obstacle and sprayed bullets in their direction, then vanished out of sight. The Rangers followed, crossing several tram tunnels until they came to another immense hall, connected to a multi lane-logistical trunk.
“Entering echo-five, in pursuit of enemy contact,” Kes called to the platoon commander, as she took cover. “No—ignore my last. We’re at delta-five, delta-five.”
More spiders appeared, shooting and scooting at high speed around the new space. From what Kayla could see, it seemed clear that they were done retreating.
“We are in heavy contact,” Kes called, to Akane, “requesting support.”
She didn’t have to say anything more; Kayla stopped where she was and gestured to her fire team to take firing positions. They found cover behind what looked like a big set of garbage drones, and began shooting at anything that moved. The battle raged around them, and Kayla found herself growing impatient to see more Rangers show up.
“Two-two is moving into echo-six—adjacent to us—also pursuing a contact,” Kes called to the squad. “Hold your fire to the north.”
Kayla made a mental note, and shifted her aim. Fortunately, the combat drones didn’t seem to be moving in that direction anyway. Instead, they were scrambling to the west, where distant columns of containers provided them with good cover. They popped out to shoot quick bursts, before ducking away just as Kayla’s sights aligned on them. At that range she could barely make them out and react fast enough in the frustrating game of whack-a-mole.
“Viper Two-two,” Kes was saying, “two-one is taking cover by some kind of scrap processor. Confirm you are entering delta-five from the north end? We can surround them.”
Was it a scrap processor? Kayla glanced up at the thing she had been hiding behind. It seemed more like a vehicle, but things were happening fast and she was exhausted, running mainly on adrenaline. Bullets sparked off the steel bracings by her head, and she turned to return fire. Something scuttled off into the darkness as her rounds struck home.
There was a spark in the corner of her vision and she turned to see a new set of muzzle flashes not far from the distant containers. Her vizor zoomed into its double magnification, but she couldn’t make out much more in the shadows cast by the illumination drone.
“Kes, are we clear to the west?” she called.
“Uh…” Kes hesitated. “What do you have Kayla?”.
“A new element moving in from the west, heading for those containers. Lots of drones over there.”
“There’s friendlies to the north,” Kes replied. “Nothing west.”
“Yak!” Kayla called.
The Ranger lumbered over to her carrying the light machine gun, and under Kayla’s direction set up facing the direction she had seen the gunfire originating from. There was nothing moving there now, but she hadn’t seen anything leaving the area, so she motioned to Yak.
Streams of fire spat into the distant shadows, and Kayla popped off a few rounds of her own, before turning to scan for more movement. Then, a hail of gunfire came back that passed inches from her head, and made her duck down out of the way.
“That was accurate,” she observed out loud. For the first time that day, she felt a hint of genuine fear.
“Two-two is taking heavy fire in echo-six,” Kes announced. “They can’t get to us yet.”
Yak, without needing any prompting, kept up a steady burst of fire towards the new threat.
Kayla’s fear gave way to anger. The squad was becoming overwhelmed by the number of contacts, and they had to give the enemy everything they had. She sat back up to shoot, and saw movement.
An ice-cold hand squeezed her guts. The shape that had darted briefly between cover had been humanoid.
“Yak—” she began, but a bullet struck her helmet and she fell on her back while everything went momentarily dim.
When she tried to sit up, Kayla saw Yak hunching over the machine gun as it bucked in her arms. The woman’s back exploded with red spray, and she collapsed onto her side.
The scene unfolded like a nightmare. “Get down!” she called to the others “Friendly fire, friendly fire!”
The others dropped to their bellies, but Thandi, still shooting in the opposite direction, was slow to react. Kayla watched in horror as a burst of fire sparked off the floor then struck her friend in the legs. She screamed and dropped to the ground.
“Two-two, cease fire, cease fire. You are engaging us!” Kes screamed into the radio.
“Yak!” Kayla cried again, and crawled over to the woman’s still body. She checked for signs of life, and felt sick when she felt a weak and irregular pulse. “She needs a medic!”
Lyna darted over as the fire from the surrounding drones continued to pour in. She stuffed bandages and clotting solution where she could, while Kayla moved over to Thandi. She was pale, but conscious, and her eyes were rolling back with pain.
Kayla threw a tourniquet on her leg, and barely knew what else to do. But she had to act and move, because if she didn’t she would throw up. The battle had taken a horrifying turn, and Kayla felt her head spinning. Her thoughts became sluggish, and she found nothing more to do except wait for help.
The other Ranger squad had quickly shifted their fire, and were fighting back the drones more effectively. Kes was yelling on the radio, and Kayla understood that a team of PJs were on their way. The corporal’s voice had gone monotone as she called in the directions to their position that she only had just been able to correct.
Kayla seized Thandi’s hand as she writhed on the floor in pain. Eventually, Lyna finished with Yak and came over to apply an anesthetic. Kayla watched her best friend’s eyes begin to close, and something broke inside her.
She looked out from behind the squad’s hiding place. The drones were still fighting, darting back and forth as they were pushed to the north. But things were happening too slowly, and Kayla had had enough. Adrenaline and rage roared through her mind, barely keeping bile from rising up her throat. She had done this. She had shot at Rangers, and gotten her friends killed. And they were all still in danger.
The voices of her squad faded to the background, overwhelmed by one single, intense goal. She had to make the chaos end.
Ray had already picked up Yak’s machine gun and was shooting short, controlled bursts, so Kayla picked up Thandi’s. She checked the box, saw it was nearly empty, and reloaded the weapon.
Then, because training had instilled it within her, she called, “Moving,” and jumped to her feet.
In the near corner of the hall, a crane rose above the rest of the machinery. Kayla raced straight for it and began to climb. She heard the yelling in her headset, but couldn’t make out what the voices were saying. But it didn’t matter. She had to get up to the top. She didn’t even feel the strain in her muscles as she vaulted up the scaffold to the top. She was a bolt of lightning, without thought or feeling. Sparks shot off the metal near her hands, but they seemed so irrelevant.
Once she reached the top of the crane, she found a perfect platform from which she could take aim at everything around them. The drones were scurrying away now, across the open ground, while clouds of wasps seemed to buzz around Kayla’s head. There was no cover, either for them or for her. She propped the machine gun against the edge and lined up a drone through the weapon’s scope. It had nothing to hide behind, and went down under a concentrated burst. Then she moved on to the next, and then the next.
Eventually the hall went quiet, except for the yelling of voices and radio messages in her ears. Kayla sank onto the platform as her whole body began to shake, and she tried to rescue her senses from the roar that drowned them.
***
A Ranger hauled herself up to the top of the crane. Kayla watched as Ray raised her vizor and smiled down at her.
“How’s it going Kayla?” she asked, in a friendly voice.
“Yak’s dead,” Kayla said listlessly. “I killed her. And I got Thandi shot.” Her head snapped up. “How is she?”
“No-one’s dead. There’s a group of Pararescue working on them right now. They’re about to run Yak to the nearest exit, and a dropship is landing at the nearest entrance. She’ll be in surgery within twenty minutes. Thandi’s messed up, but she’s in stable condition.”
The adrenaline had already eased, and Kayla felt terribly cold, and so exhausted she could barely keep her eyes open.
“Anyway,” Ray continued as she moved closer, “There’s been a bunch of firefights and a lot of Valkyrie wounded. Things seem to be calming down now. Looks like we won—yay!” she said and punched the air.
“I can’t do it anymore,” Kayla said.
“What’s that, my dear?”
“Be a Viper. I screwed up again. I should leave the company.”
Ray nodded slowly and sat down beside her, dropping an arm over her shoulders. “It was a fun day, wasn’t it? Type four fun, I mean.”
Kayla just shook her head.
“How about we get you down from here, get some food, and maybe a nap?”
“I can’t move my arms or legs.”
Ray gingerly pushed on her limbs, and watched them flop freely. But when they tensed, Kayla’s face screwed up in a grimace.
“Looks like you tore up your muscles in that climb. I’m not surprised—you moved faster than one of those spider drones. No sweat. In half an hour the nanites will have fixed you up. We can just hang out here until then.”
Ray reached for her mic switch. “Barnes can’t move. We’ll be here a bit longer.”
First ¦ Previous ¦ Royal Road ¦ Patreon
Prequel (Parts 1 to 16)
1. Rise of a Valkyrie

Killer Grips: Anne Maria, Jasmine, Justin, Millie
Screaming Gaffers: Chase, Izzy, MK, Ripper, Scott
Episode 10: Masters of Disasters
"Last time, on Total Drama Action! The world's toughest Chef used spoons to bring out Brick's killer instinct!"
“It was no thanks to Brick that Justin and Millie had the bejeebies scared out of them. Victory seemed within reach, as Brick won the scream-off. MK won the challenge for the Screaming Gaffers by not falling for any of the Grips’ feeble attempts to scare them.”
“Just as the Killer Grips casted their votes, Brick's conscience, along with a planned push from Justin, finally got the best of him. Brick called himself out as a cheater, hopped into the Lame-o-Sine, and rode off into the sunset.”
The scene flashed to Chris walking through the lot, eventually reaching the cast trailers. "How will the contestants survive without Brick's gourmet cooking? Was it coriander or tarragon he used in that casserole? Discover all that and more in another thrilling and filling episode of Total! Drama! Action!"
(Theme Song)
The episode opened with a shot of the blue and partly-cloudy sky before quickly panning down to the craft services tent. The scene zoomed in and cut inside, showing a close-up of a bowl of roach-infested gruel. Scott took a trembling scoop of the food, pausing with wide eyes as Ripper took a bite of his own.
He immediately gagged and spat the food back out. "I never thought I'd say this, but I really miss Brick," he said. "His cooking was a massive improvement over Chef's."
On the other side of the table, Anne Maria poked her food with a spoon. "Topher cooked spaghetti and meatballs for us once, and despite it being a bit soggy, I'd eat his cooking over Chef's," she said.
“Not that I care, but why did Topher of all people make something for you and how did this all happen?” Scott spoke up from his table.
“Well, if you must know, me and Topher are currently datin’ right now,” Anne Maria revealed happily, shocking the others. “What?”
“How did you two even hook up with each other that quickly?” Scott asked in astonishment.
“Remember when we were out looking for the briefcase? Me and Topher were partners, and we had a good time being together,” Anne Maria detailed. “We also managed to have some conversations with each other at the Playa thanks to you guys votin’ us out first,” the Jersey woman added, saying the last part grumpily. “And even though we started off as friends, we developed feelings for each other and eventually became an item between TV seasons.”
“But wait. Wasn't our break from competing two weeks?” Millie asked her teammate.
“I know what you're all thinking. Two weeks is too fast for a relationship to get on board, but since we'd be separated with him not competing alongside me, we decided to get together and confess our feelings before it was too late,” Anne Maria told the contestants.
Confessional: Izzy
“I'd like to call Anne Maria's bluff to her face, but I don't think she's the type to lie about juicy stuff like relationships,” Izzy explained. “And I'd likely receive a humongous blow to the face if I straight up accused her.”
Confessional: Justin
“Well there goes my plan of having Anne Maria as an alliance buddy somewhat,” Justin moaned. “With how much she's been ignoring my affections, it's obvious that she won't commit infidelity just for me.”
Confessionals End
“So yeah. That's about it when it comes to me and Topher,” Anne Maria concluded.
“I can totally see why you two would be joined at the hip, given that you're both equally self-absorbed,” MK commented snidely.
“Watch your mouth, MK,” Anne Maria warned her and then turned to Jasmine staring down at her food. “What's got you so slumped?”
“She's still upset about the alliance Brick had with Chef before he got eliminated,” Millie mentioned.
“Oh yeah. I really could care less,” Anne Maria shrugged.
“I'm not mad about the alliance,” Jasmine corrected. “I'm mad about the fact that he kept it a secret until he quit. And this came from a guy who claimed that honor was key. How can I trust Brick after that?”
“I feel you,” Justin said. “I wouldn't be impressed if someone was keeping something very important from me.”
“Exactly my point, Justin,” Jasmine said.
“Brick did do something wrong, but he felt bad enough for it,” Millie told Jasmine. “And given how Chef is, he was likely threatened into the alliance.”
“That may be true, but I don't want to focus on this subject anymore than I do,” Jasmine said authoritatively. “I'm moving on from this.”
Confessional: Jasmine
“I don't know how Canadian boys flirt or socialize with girls normally, but if telling lies is part of it, then I may call romance flawed and superficial,” Jasmine grumbled stubbornly. “But enough after that. I have to focus on opening my dream school with the money I'll likely win.”
Confessional: Justin
“To those of you that weren't already aware, I knew that Brick and Chef were in cahoots together ever since I saw Chef hold Brick back before the beach episode,” Justin said. “I started picking up the clues more and more, and now that I've turned Jasmine against Brick, I can gain her trust for the future challenges.”
Confessionals End
Ripper then spots a cup of bendy straws next to him. “Hey, does anybody know why these bendy straws are even here?”
“Nope, but if you're planning to shoot spitballs with them, don't target me, Ripstick,” MK advised.
“You never know who I'm gonna target, Brain Girl,” Ripper said, stuffing the straws into his pocket. “I'm keeping the straws, only because they seem useful.”
“More than you,” MK snorted quietly.
"Howdy folks!" Chris said as he walked into the tent with his usual smile. "Hope you enjoyed your lunch, ‘cause you won't be hanging on to it any longer," he told them with a laugh.
"And what torture do you have for us?" Scott asked with a deadpan expression.
"Oh, nothing," Chris answered mockingly. "Just that your day will be a total disaster. Get it?" he asked the room. "It's a disaster movie theme! Y'know? Like in disaster flicks?"
A dangerous and hectic tune began as the scene flashed to Chef Hatchet running against a featureless white background. "People running for their lives from volcanoes," a magma-oozing volcano dropped down onto the scenery just barely missing Chef, "earthquakes, asteroids," a fissure formed in the ground just past the volcano, expanding towards the running man before a small asteroid just missed striking him, "tidal waves," Chef ran headlong into a large wave which crashed over him and washed him away.
The scene flashed back to a close-up of Scott and Izzy gaping in their seats, followed by a similar shot of Justin and Jasmine. "The more disastrous, the better."
Confessional: Millie
"Like we haven't gone through enough disaster already," Millie groaned. "If this keeps up, I'll have to write about how being on Total Drama is more than, if not as, dangerous than bungee jumping into a volcano without a cord!"
Confessional Ends
The footage cut back to Chris standing in front of some sort of machine console as a few deep and ominous notes were struck in the background. "Your first challenge is," he said, "the Earthquake of Inevitable Pain!" The camera moved left and out, revealing the giant playing field that had been set up outside. It consisted of a platform resting at an angle on scaffolding and several pistons with a ladder set up at the high end. On top of it were a series of obstacles arranged in two identical rows: tires, traffic cones, monkey bars over a pool of water, a large metal tube, a balance beam over a pit, and a wooden wall to the far left near the top.
"Each team has to run the course," the host explained as the camera panned across the stunned faces of the cast, "challenging your dexterity," a close-up of the tires was shown, "maneuverability," a shot of the cones was added in a horizontal split-screen, "and other mad monkey skills," he finished as the monkey bars were added to the split screen.
A flash took the scene to Chef standing on top of the ladder at the end of the course. He picked a brick up out of a sack by his side and tossed it around with a vicious grin on his face, and the camera cut back to the host. "First team to the top wins! Best out of two earns today's reward."
The camera focused on the Screaming Gaffers. "Cool!" Chase said with a sudden smile. "This'll be just like the boot camp obstacle course from the first season, only this time, I get to actually compete in it."
"The course does have earthquakes though," Izzy brought up.
"An obstacle course is still an obstacle course," Chase shook it off.
"Enough with the chitty-chat," Chris interrupted with a brief frown of his own. "Take your marks!"
Both teams were shown assembled along the bottom edge of the platform. "This is gonna be easy," Scott boasted as Chase jogged in place.
"I can't wait to swing on the monkey bars!" Millie declared happily while Jasmine limbered up.
"Aaaaaannnnd," Chris said as a few deep notes heralded the beginning of fast-paced challenge music, "Action!"
He sounded a small air horn, and the shot cut to the four Grips as they ran up the platform and immediately into the tires – Jasmine in the lead, then Justin, Millie, and Anne Maria at the end. Panning over to the Grips, Izzy and Chase were out first, followed by Scott, Ripper, and MK.
"How easy is this?" Izzy asked enthusiastically after a close-up of her easily stepping through the tires.
"Are you READY to ROCK?!" Chris exclaimed with an excited cackle before pulling one of the levers on his machine console. The pistons immediately began to extend and contract, shaking the platform and causing Izzy and Chase to stumble and fall into one another.
“If you break it, you buy it!” Izzy said playfully and laughed.
Jasmine and Justin had gotten to the beginning of the cones, but lost their balance too and Justin had to yank one of the cones off his head. Millie and Anne Maria jumped up onto the Grips' monkey bars, and the scene cut over to Chef on the ladder.
"Perfect time to get rid of some old junk," he said with a vicious grin and a dark cackle, reaching into his sack and taking out a football. He tossed it from hand to hand, then reared back and threw it at the girls on the monkey bars. It hit Millie in the face with enough force to knock her back into Anne Maria and both off the obstacle.
"My face!" Millie cried out as she fell out of sight.
Chef was shown casually throwing out several objects from his bag without looking – a kitchen sink, a bowling ball, a hammer, a rotary telephone, each with appropriate sound effects when they inevitably hit something. He paused when he took out a tiny rubber ducky, squeezing it a few times and smiling at its squeak before looking at the camera sheepishly and throwing it away.
"Are you kidding me?" MK said after the duck hit her on the nose while she was on the monkey bars.
The camera briefly cut back to Chris as he smirked and pulled the lever again, putting an end to the shaking. Izzy, Chase, and Scott were shown regaining their balance at the start of the monkey bars, and Izzy groaned in relief. "Finally, a break!"
"AFTERSHOCK!" Chris exclaimed with a happy laugh, pulling the lever again. The platform resumed shaking, causing Scott to stumble to his knees behind him.
The dirt boy threw up, and looked at the puddle of vomit with a disgusted grimace. "Why was that lunch even worse coming back up?"
"Oh yeah," Chris said with a sly look, "that reminds me. It's lava time!" he announced dramatically, slamming his fist down on a button that caused more shaking and some ominous mechanical whirs that made Chase and Izzy look around nervously.
A pair of slots opened up just past the walls at the top of the course, and a steaming red liquid poured out of them. Chef bent down and touched the liquid with his fingers, taking a quick taste. "Tomato soup?" he said with a surprised look below, where the soup was being siphoned out of a large metal drum with a tomato on the side. "That was supposed to be for supper."
With the soup already closing in on the monkey bars, Anne Maria and Justin were forced to quickly jump back up to them, while nearby Millie quickly grabbed the top of the metal tube. MK and Izzy were also shown clinging to the top of the bars for safety.
"Pheeewww, wee!" Chris exclaimed as the camera cut back to him fanning himself with one hand. "Is it getting hot in here? How 'bout a cool, refreshing, hailstorm!" The shot pulled back to show him standing on the seat of a cart-mounted gun platform which was attached to a golf cart being driven by Chef, who honked the horn with a dark grin. "Golf ball-sized hail is bad," the host said matter-of-factly as he sat down and grabbed the handles of the gun, "but, hail-sized golf balls are even worse!" He laughed and opened fire, a clear canister on the top of the large weapon feeding golf balls into it. Izzy, back on the ground, tried to dodge the balls as they dashed towards the metal tube, but the sheer number knocked her into it.
"I got one!" Chris cheered happily.
"Don't get cocky, kid," Chef told him with a smile. The host continued to fire with a vicious grin on his face, and cries of pain from nearly every castmate were heard off-screen.
"Hey, watch the face!" Anne Maria cried out before several golf balls struck her in the face, and Chris continued to shoot.
Confessional: Anne Maria
The tanned woman was now shown to be bruised from her face all the way down. "That schuck is really askin’ for a beatdown if he thinks he can bruise my body, but I still got it." Anne Maria attempted to pose for the camera, but quickly winced in pain.
Confessional Ends
The host shot off a few more golf balls, then held up a button on a cord. "After-aftershock!" he exclaimed as he pressed it, starting up the shaking once again. Izzy lost her own footing and slipped backwards into the metal tunnel. The camera panned back to the tube's beginning, where the other Gaffers were standing. To their shock, the platform began to crack and split perilously close to them.
"We have to get a move on," Ripper said.
MK ducked into the tunnel but was forced out moments later when a screaming Izzy tumbled back through it, knocking into the small woman and sending both over the edge of the crack in the platform. Chase managed to dive and grab onto Izzy's flailing arm, and the camera panned down to show that MK had managed to cling onto her teammate's legs.
"Man, did Chris go all-out with these disasters," Ripper said with worry.
"Pull us up or else I may see the afterlife!" MK cried angrily as Chase struggled to heave his teammates out of the crevice.
"Coming," Scott said before he and Ripper bent down to grab Izzy's other arm.
The scene cut to the Grips as Jasmine made her way across the balance beam, with Millie and Justin coming out of the tube and following her. Chris fired another volley of golf balls which knocked Justin off his balance, and the camera moved back to the Gaffers still at the entrance to the tunnel and also coming under heavy fire.
"We have to keep moving!" Ripper shouted while he sheltered his team. Once his teammates were in relative safety, he began to shield the entrance with his girth. “I believe someone should be yelling “fore!”,” he shot an annoyed glare at the host.
"Fore!" Chris shouted gleefully, pulling the trigger but getting nothing but clicks – he was out of ammunition. The shot cut back to Ripper, who raised an eyebrow, then shrugged and jumped into the tube.
"Chef," Chris said in annoyance, "do something!" A few beeps from the golf cart signaled the hulking man's compliance as he rapidly reversed all the way to the ladder, crashing the gun platform and Chris along with it before quickly climbing up.
He resumed throwing objects at the castmates, starting with a flower pot that knocked Millie off the balance beam just as Jasmine made it to the finish line and Anne Maria made it to the top of her team's wall.
"Hurry up. We're almost there!" Chase called to the rest of the Grips as Scott gave MK a boost over the wall. Izzy climbed down the other side, and Ripper emerged from the tunnel and narrowly dodged a blender. The rough man rushed across the balance beam to the scheming farmer on the other side.
"C'mon. I'll give you a lift," Scott told him.
“Have you seen me?” Ripper raised an eyebrow. “I'm much heavier. I'll lift you up.” He then kneeled down and held out his hands as a foothold.
“Okay, fine,” Scott accepted the boost as bricks and pliers and even a cat in a football uniform were thrown at them.
Chef viciously tossed what appeared to be some sort of bomb, though the lack of an explosion when it landed off-screen suggested it was a dud at best. Regardless, the man smiled when he pulled out the next object: a very large hardcover book. "Ahh, my unpublished manifesto," he said happily.
The dramatically fast-paced challenge music faded into something more deep, tense, and threateningly monotonous as Scott was shown hauling himself up to the top of the wall with Ripper supporting him.
"I've lived a lot of years!" Chef declared before tossing his tremendous manifesto with two hands. The music sped back up as Scott spotted the heavy book flying at him with a gasp.
The shot closed in on the manifesto, and the footage slowed down as it slammed into Scott's right arm, knocking him clear off the wall and onto his back across the balance beam. “Ugh! That hurts!” Scott groaned and clutched his right arm.
"Oh shoot!" Ripper exclaimed in shock and ran over to his groaning teammate. "Your arm is not looking fine right now."
"My editor was right!" Chef told the camera on him proudly. "My life really is dangerous."
Scott began to sit up and used his right arm for support, but then winced in pain and flopped back down with a moan.
Confessional: Millie
"Did Scott actually break his arm?" Millie asked in disbelief. "That is so unfair, even if it is Scott of all people!" She sighed and looked up. "I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I did that to Chase."
Confessional: Chase
"I can't believe Scott just wiped out his arm!" Chase told the confessional camera. "And because of a manifesto of all things!" He sighed and looked down. "I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I did that to Millie."
Confessionals End
As Scott continued to groan in pain on the balance beam, one of the camera men was shown approaching him for a close-up.
"Chris!" Jasmine exclaimed angrily as the shot cut back to the Grips, Chef, and Chris, the host now on the ladder and framing a shot with his hands. "Aren't you going to send the crew over to help him?"
"Yeah yeah," the host said dismissively as another cameraman walked by in front of him, "as soon as we're done getting every shot. The good news is, it looks like Scott won the challenge for the Screaming Gaffers!" He looked over to MK, Izzy, and Chase as they gave a few celebratory cheers, joined in another shot by a smile from Ripper and even a thumbs up from Scott.
"Oh no he did not!" Anne Maria exclaimed.
"Yeah," Millie added sternly. "We got our entire team across the finish line first!"
"Serious injury trumps all," Chris told them with an impish shrug.
"You're just making up the rules as you go along," Jasmine said in frustration.
Chris gave a smug look, then smiled at the camera. "I love my job!"
A close-up of a flashing red siren took over the scene, and Scott was wheeled into an ambulance on a stretcher. "The wounded Scott," Chris said dramatically as the ambulance doors shut and it drove off, leaving the four Gaffers to watch with varying levels of concern. "What will become of him?" The shot zoomed out, showing the Grips standing nearby as well looking worried. "Stay tuned to find out!" Chris said, popping up in the foreground with a grin on his face, earning a glare from the remaining castmates.
(Commercial Break)
The deep and dramatic music continued as soon as the footage cut back to a shot of a water tower, the camera slowing panning down to the film lot's waterfront area. A submarine had been suspended from the arm of a crane, which ran along the top of the screen and was supported on the right by a structure built adjacent to a dock where the cast and host stood. Two sections of the submarine's outer wall had been made transparent, allowing full view of a pair of rooms within; there appeared to be hatches on the top and bottom leading into and out of each compartment. In the water below the submarine were two inflated rafts, roughly aligned with the 'windows'.
"How's Scott doing?" Izzy asked with concern as the camera focused on her.
"Oh, Scott's fine," Chris reassured the group. "A broken bone, but it's all wired shut now. Shouldn't take more than six to eight weeks to heal!"
"Oh," Ripper said, "it's that bad?!"
"I mean," Chris quickly corrected, "he's doing fine!" None of the cast looked like they believed him.
Confessional: Chris
"That's what release forms are for," Chris whined in the confessional trailer, holding up one of the forms. "Correctamundo?" he asked the camera.
Confessional Ends
"Alright!" Chris said as the camera began to zoom out. "Now it's time for the second disaster-themed challenge." The two teams were shown to have boarded the life rafts, the Gaffers on the left and the Grips on the right. "Who's excited?"
Neither the Grips nor the Gaffers gave him any response other than an annoyed glare, and cricket chirps were heard as the camera panned from one to the other.
"Because of Scott's win," Chris continued with a smile, "the Gaffers have the advantage of getting this handy-dandy piece of paper for the second disaster challenge." He took a seemingly blank piece of paper out from behind his back, rapidly folded it into a paper airplane, and threw it over to the team who'd won it. The camera followed it as it flew through the air, passed over the heads of the four Grips, made a loop-the-loop, and eventually got snatched out of the air by Chase.
He unfolded it, showing a small string of roman numerals, and quickly furrowed his brow. "Hey, it's just a bunch of numbers! How's this supposed to help us?"
"Perhaps it's some sort of code," MK suggested after a bit of thought.
"Okay, time to get inside!" Chris announced.
"You do know that I have claustrophobia," Jasmine refused.
"Would you do it for a million bucks?" Chris asked with a sly look.
Jasmine sighed. "I hope there's enough air to last a lifetime."
The footage flashed forward, showing each team in one of the submarine's two visible compartments. "Does anybody else have a bad feeling about this?" Jasmine asked her team as her eyes darted around the room. The sound of sonar pinging in the background was quickly joined by the wailing of a klaxon as lights around the submarine began to flash red. Various shot of hatch wheels, pipes, each team's feet, and the startled faces of Millie, Ripper, and Izzy were shown.
"What's going on?" Justin asked with a hint of panic in his voice.
"It's too dark to see," Chase said. "This isn't good."
"For this challenge," Chris announced over intercoms in each room, "you've gotta get out before it's too late."
"Too late for what?" Millie asked as the footage changed to a monitor feed of the Grips, the camera pulling back a few other monitors next to it showing close-ups of Ripper, Chase, and MK. Chef was sitting in front of them inches away from the camera, looking back at the monitoring console out of the corner of his eyes.
"Oh, you'll find out," Chris told them with a laugh as Chef nodded.
The viewpoint shifted to show the host and his assistant sitting at a table playing cards in the control room. "Pick up two," Chef said, placing a card on the table himself as the handsome host drew another pair.
"You mind cranking that lever?" Chris asked, and his hulking associate quickly complied.
As soon as the lever was pulled, water began to flow heavily through a network of pipes, causing them to drip at various joints. More ominously, water started pouring into the submarine's compartments via a grate in the floor. It quickly began to pool around Justin's feet, and he looked down with shock and unease.
"What is that?" he asked worriedly.
“This is just great," Anne Maria said. "The one person who would've been able to break us out of here had to quit!"
"Well, Brick's not here," Jasmine panicked as she began trying to look around the poorly-lit room. "If we start to drown, not only will we be trapped in here, but we'll die!"
The scene flashed to Ripper trying to turn a hatch wheel on the wall to no avail while Chase stood nearby. "We're stuck in the dark, the water is filling up the place, and one of our teammates is stuck in the infirmary," Chase recapped. “How much worse can this get?”
"The water is freezing?" Ripper replied. "How are we supposed to bust out of this sub?"
"No worries," MK told him. "I've got great night vision. Side note, the things I do sometimes occur at night." She noticed a cardboard box sitting on a nearby table, and opened it up with a grin. "This should help!" she said, taking several flashlights out of the box and turning them on.
"Let's get to work everybody!" Izzy whooped as she caught the light that was tossed to her.
The scene cut to Jasmine and Millie attempting to open two of the wall hatches without success.
Jasmine was focused on as she tried to force her hatch wheel to turn. She gave another grunt of exertion and slipped, falling forward into the Grips' cardboard box. "Brilliant!" she exclaimed in delight, holding up the flashlights she'd accidentally discovered. "Okay cobbers, let's get our heads in the game!" she declared, tossing each of her teammates a flashlight.
"Hey, I think I found something!" Anne Maria said as she shined her light on the ceiling hatch.
"Same here!" Millie added as she illuminated the floor hatch. "This could be the exit!"
The camera cut to a close-up of Chase turning the dial on the floor hatch while Izzy stood behind him shining her light down on it. "Bad news," he said as he finally let go, "it's a combination lock!"
"The numbers on the paper!" Izzy said immediately. "That must be the combination!"
"Oh yeah," Chase said blankly, taking out the crumpled-up note for MK to snatch it and shine her light on it.
Ripper walked up to the AV girl. "Go on, techmaster. Tell us the numbers," he told her expectantly.
"Give me a second," MK replied in annoyance as she flipped the note upside-down and back again.
"We don't have a second!" Chase said in rising panic, the water already up his legs and nearly covering the floor hatch.
"It's either...," MK squinted, "3-1-11-3-6-2," she rattled off before flipping the paper again, "or 2-6-3-9-1-3. It's hard to tell with this bad handwriting."
"Well, get cracking already!" Ripper demanded.
“Guys, now's not the time to fight right now,” Chase reminded them.
MK crouched down by the dial and groaned after looking over it for a second. "These numbers are tiny! Somebody give me a light."
"I'm on it," Izzy told her, shining an extra light down on the dial. "Now which number are we going for first?"
"Let me double check," MK told her, taking the note back out of her pocket only to accidentally lose her grip on the note. MK groaned and picked up the now soggy and unreadable note out of the water.
Confessional: Izzy
“If today's my last day in this world, I'm thankful that I'm not surrounded by loons,” Izzy told the viewers. “Well except for Ripper, but he's not risking all of our lives.”
Confessional Ends
The scene flashed over to a close-up of the Grips' dial as Anne Maria turned it back and forth and her teammates watched in silence. The water rose above her head and she came up. "This ain't working!" she said in frustration. "I can't figure out the combination with the water rising up!"
"How about we boost each other up there?" Millie suggested, her light shining on the ceiling hatch.
"Worth a shot," Jasmine shrugged. The Outback girl held out her hands to give Justin a foothold, boosting him up onto her shoulders before Millie climbed up them to the top.
She strained to reach for the hatch, but it was still too high up. "Almost…there!" As Millie spoke, she made another attempt at reaching out, but only managed to cause the three to lose their balance and collapse into the water.
"Now what?" Justin asked in annoyance just before Anne Maria emerged from the water.
"What are you all doing?" she asked them.
"We were trying to open the door on the ceiling," Millie said. "And how are you able to stay underwater for that long?"
“My lungs are waterproof, duh,” Anne Maria answered. “And if we're gonna use the hatch up there, let's just wait for the water to reach us to that point.”
"Does anybody else have a plan to get us out?" Chase asked his teammates, all four floating idly in the water.
"Of course!" Izzy exclaimed. "We forgot about that hatch!" She pointed to the ceiling hatch with a grin, and with the current water level was able to grab onto it along with Ripper.
"Open sesame!" Ripper bellowed out as he and Izzy pried the hatch cover open.
A shark stuck its head out of the opening with a roar, and the two Gaffers who had opened it quickly closed it again, eyes wide with shock.
"No good. Any other ideas?" Izzy said, backing away from the hatch slowly.
"I got it!" Jasmine grunted as she forced the wheel of the ceiling hatch to turn, and when it finally opened, she immediately shrieked and slammed it shut when a jet of fire came forth from the opening. "That wasn't safe at all!"
The scene cut to the control room, with footage of the Grips continuing what they'd been doing on the monitors.
"Fire, huh?" Chris said with a hint of nervousness. "Don't you think that's a bit much?"
Chef shrugged.
Confessional: Chef Hatchet
"Seriously, I'm just not in the mood!" Chef told the confessional camera angrily. "Busting my hump for a bunch of snot nosed…" He slammed a fist onto the table, scattering a few make-up brushes. "Don't I deserve a little me time?"
Confessional Ends
Close-ups of Jasmine, Izzy, Justin, and Anne Maria were now being shown on the monitors, each one looking with dread at the water that was now up to their necks or shoulders.
"Really, it might be time to end the challenge," Chris said with rising concern. "The water's getting pretty high, and, uh, those kids are terrible swimmers!"
"Focus!" Chef shouted. "I want my chips back," he said calmly, pointing to a tall canister on the table, "I'm starvin'." He casually tossed a single chip into his mouth.
"This is getting serious," Chris told him. "Tur-turn off the water!"
Chef reached for the lever, but it quickly snapped off in his hand, and Chris gasped. "We've gotta get the cast out of there!" he said, standing up in panic. "Simple formula! No more contestants equals no more episodes equals no paycheck, and the end of my luxurious lifestyle!"
"I don't want them to die anymore than you do," Chef said after dropping the broken lever and shuffling their deck of cards, “but the lever is broken, so it's up to them to rescue themselves.”
A shot from just below the surface of the water showed the Gaffers treading it.
"If we make it out of here, the first thing I'm gonna do is break Chris for endangering our lives," Ripper told the team and pulled out the bendy straws from breakfast, “and that's gonna happen thanks to these straws!”
“Why didn't you whip those out earlier?!” MK reprimanded.
“I obviously forgot about them, but I still remember the numbers,” Ripper rolled his eyes and stuck one straw to another. “Now do you want to complain or survive?”
“Alright! I'll help you make a snorkel,” MK took hold of the straws. She watched Ripper put a straw into his mouth and sink underwater, prompting her to stack one straw after another as he sank.
The footage cut back to the control room where Chris was watching the Gaffers with tense worry. "Brilliant!" he said with relief. "Ripper's gonna save the day! Once the hatch is open, it'll drain the water out of both the rooms, and I'll still have a paycheck!" He quickly hugged Chef, who'd been playing cards by himself and looked annoyed at the sudden contact.
An action song began to play in the background as Ripper got to work turning the handle with a serious look on his face. Chris was shown watching nervously from the safety of his control room.
The clip moved to shots of the Grips submerged in water with only their heads surfacing, and Chris was shown covering his eyes in fear and anxiety, peeking out just long enough to gape.
MK kept putting more straws onto the snorkel as the water rose up. "Come on, Ripper!" Chase cried out as his head began to sink. "There's not much time left!"
A shot of the top half of Izzy’s head staying afloat was presented, and as Ripper turned the handle in opposite directions, he adjusted his snorkel before resuming his progress.
Chris was tensely biting his nails while Chef was calmly playing solitaire. However, Ripper got to the last number of the combination, and after yanking at the hatch, it flew open. A large cloud of bubbles briefly covered the screen, and when they dissipated, Ripper signaled his team to get out, and he took off the snorkel and swam out the gap with Izzy, MK, and Chase following after.
Back in the control room, the background music came to an end as Chris started to celebrate. "Wooo-hoo-hoo! Yeah, mmm, mmm!" He cheered, doing a joyous dance around the room while Chef watched in annoyance and ate his chips.
The scene cut to the Grips as their compartment's water drained out and they were left soaking wet.
“Does this mean…” Justin began to wonder.
“Yes. We lost,” Anne Maria looked down in disappointment.
A flash took the scene to a close-up of a roaring fire outside the cast trailers. It was now dark out, and all eight who had competed in the second challenge were furiously sitting around it in bathrobes, the Grips on the left and the Gaffers on the right.
"Well, that was a pretty exciting day, huh?" Chris told them as he walked past the glaring Grips. "Looks like another reward win for the Gaffers. Seems like the Grips are a tad overdue. But," he paused to laugh, "I wouldn't hold my breath!" Jasmine and Millie glared at him and his pun.
"And now let's see what the Gaffers have won!" Chris said once he stopped laughing, pulling a card out of his shirt. "Ohhh!"
The shot flashed to Chef in his sparkly pink dress standing in front of a curtain that was quickly pulled back to reveal a scene of a city on the water, with mountains in the background and a totem pole in the fore. "An all-expenses paid trip to beautiful British Columbia!" The shot flashed again, now showing a close-up of a small cabin bathed in red light and steam, an odd and low bubbling noise in the background. "That's right, you'll be staying at the luxurious inn, 'On the Volcano'!" The camera pulled back, revealing that the cabin was indeed located so far over the mouth of an active volcano that it looked like it would fall in at the slightest provocation. "A charming lodge, teetering on the edge of a little-known active volcano, on Vancouver Island."
The Gaffers looked at him with a mixture of anger and disbelief. "To get you there," the host continued as the scene flashed to Chef, dressed in a traditional German costume and accompanied by an unseen yodeler, hiking up the side of a mountain. "You'll be enjoying an exhilarating eight-day hike up the craggy, treacherous-"
Both the host and the various background sounds were interrupted by a record scratch and an angry outburst from Chase. "No way!"
Confessional: Chase
"We were actually going to drown back there!" Chase said in the confessional. "These producers are insane if they want us to stay at a volcano."
Confessional: Ripper
"I was going to give Chris a thrashing, but after some careful consideration, I realized that it could get me kicked off the show,” Ripper explained and smiled arrogantly. “And there's no way I'm leaving without lording over the fact that I saved everybody's lives over their heads.”
Confessionals End
"We'll just take some snacks and drinks for our reward," MK told the host. "And make it a stash."
"Suit yourselves," Chris replied, putting the card back in his shirt pocket. "More money for my end-of-the-year bonus!"
Confessional: Izzy
"Okay, I'm not above covering myself with poison ivy, but there's no way I'm gonna go on a vacation after I almost died," Izzy confessed with rare fury. "That's just extremely messed up."
Confessional Ends
MK and Ripper clinked soda bottles together as they, Izzy, and Chase enjoyed their reward at the picnic table outside the rebuilt craft services tent. The camera quickly panned to the left past the sulking Grips, and stopped on Chris walking alongside Scott. The redheaded boy's right arm had a sling, and he was looking rather miffed.
“Remember when I said I'd sue you in the first season? That was just an empty threat,” Scott angrily whispered, frightening Chris a bit. “If this was an elimination episode and I got the boot, I would do so as soon as I got home. I have an uncle who's a lawyer.”
"Umm…" Chris whispered to him timidly, "please don't. I promise to get you compensated for your broken arm as soon as possible."
“Okay,” Scott looked at Chris suspiciously. “I'll go celebrate with my team, but you guys better provide me with benefits or you and Chef are getting a lawsuit.”
“Enjoy!” Chris regained his happy demeanor after watching Scott walk off. "And with that, we are at the end of another awesome episode. What disaster lies in store for our teams next time?" he asked the camera with a smile. "I'm your host, Chris McLean, asking you to tune in, turn on, and find out right here on Total! Drama! Action!"
(Roll the Credits)
(Bonus Clip)
“Look at all the food we won,” Scott demonstrated what was on the table - soda, chips, chocolate bars, marshmallows, gumballs, and crackers. “Why offer us a disaster themed vacay when we can just stuff our faces in?” He took a gumball with his left arm and swallowed it in his mouth. “But that doesn't mean I'm letting my injured arm go. Those guys were the ones who broke it, not me. And if I'm not treated at all, charges will be pressed on them.” He then blew a bubble, and after it got too big, the bubble exploded and the embarrassed teen had his entire face covered in gum.
Eva - 14th
Geoff - 14th
Izzy - RETURNED
Trent - 12th
Sky - 11th
Brick - 10th
Killer Grips: Anne Maria, Jasmine, Justin, Millie
Screaming Gaffers: Chase, Izzy, MK, Ripper, Scott

DAY: MAY 28 2024
5-28-2024

THE LIGHT OR THE CONTENT? WHAT WE KNOW ABOUT SCREENS AND SLEEP DISRUPTION

Too much screen time impairs sleep for children and adolescents, and it’s largely the content on those screens that keeps them awake. But it remains less clear whether the light from those screens also impairs sleep or whether and how screens directly disrupt adults’ sleep, too. That’s the consensus from 16 leading sleep experts, including two from CU Boulder, who published an exhaustive scientific review today on screen time and sleep in Sleep Health. “There’s a lot of research out there, but the messaging can
5-28-2024

WHAT SHOULD WE FEAR WITH AI IN MEDICINE?

Will the threats associated with artificial intelligence be as bad as some fear? Or will AI be relatively benign? Could the answer be somewhere in between? Perspectives on AI abound. Whether it be in medicine, security or education, new applications in search of an AI advantage continue to grow. This has prompted calls for well-intentioned restraint and regulation or, at the very least, slower growth and proliferation. To alleviate some of that fear, we should consider one area in which
5-28-2024

HOW TO KEEP FRUIT, VEGGIES AND HERBS FRESH FOR LONGER

We all know fresh produce is good for us, but fruit, vegetables and herbs have a tendency to perish quickly if left uneaten. This is because even after harvesting, produce from living plants tends to continue its biological processes. This includes respiration: producing energy from stored carbohydrates, proteins and fats while releasing carbon dioxide and water vapor. (Ever found a sprouting potato in your pantry?) On top of that, fresh produce also spoils easily thanks to various microbes—both harmless and ones that can cause disease, called pathogens. Simply chucking things
5-28-2024

RESEARCHERS EXAMINE BLACK MEN’S PERCEPTIONS OF LABELING AFTER A VIOLENT FIREARM INJURY

The way Black men see themselves after a firearm injury—whether as a survivor or victim—could change over time and have implications on their mental health, according to a Rutgers Health study. The study, published in the Journal of Urban Health, examined the role of racially coded language, sociodemographic and environmental contexts that support labels among Black men who experienced a firearm injury. Rutgers researchers sought to understand how Black men in a hospital-based violence intervention program perceive “survivor” and “victim” labels after experiencing a firearm-related injury. “The self-identification as a
5-28-2024

SCIENTISTS UNCOVER HOW OUR BRAINS TRY TO TELL THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MUSIC- AND SPEECH-LIKE NOISE

Music and speech are among the most frequent types of sounds we hear. But how do we identify what we think are differences between the two? An international team of researchers mapped out this process through a series of experiments—yielding insights that offer a potential means to optimize therapeutic programs that use music to regain the ability to speak in addressing aphasia. This language disorder afflicts more than one in 300 Americans each year, including Wendy Williams and Bruce Willis. “Although music and speech are different in many ways, ranging
5-28-2024

MENTAL HEALTH BEGINS IN INFANCY, CHILD DEVELOPMENT EXPERTS TELL PARENTS

Did you know babies can get depressed? Andria Goss, associate vice president of clinical and community services at the Erikson Institute, a graduate school for social work, early childhood education and child development programs, said people are astonished when they learn and appreciate that fact. “Babies experience everything as a bodily feeling: If a parent is stressed, depressed and/or anxious, the baby is picking up on that,” she said. “Imagine a mom who has her own stresses and sometimes she’s able to focus on her baby and other times there’s
5-28-2024

NEUROSCIENTISTS USE AI TO SIMULATE HOW THE BRAIN MAKES SENSE OF THE VISUAL WORLD

A research team at Stanford’s Wu Tsai Neurosciences Institute has made a major stride in using AI to replicate how the brain organizes sensory information to make sense of the world, opening up new frontiers for virtual neuroscience. Watch the seconds tick by on a clock and, in visual regions of your brain, neighboring groups of angle-selective neurons will fire in sequence as the second hand sweeps around the clock face. These cells form beautiful “pinwheel” maps, with each segment representing a visual perception of a different angle. Other visual
5-28-2024

STUDY SHOWS ORANGE PEEL EXTRACT MAY IMPROVE HEART HEALTH

Orange peels may hold a key to better cardiovascular health, new University of Florida-led research shows. The findings are published in the Journal of Agricultural and Food Chemistry. Heart disease is the leading cause of death for men, women and people of most racial and ethnic groups, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Recent research has shown that some gut bacteria help develop cardiovascular disease. When they feed on certain nutrients during digestion, gut bacteria produce trimethylamine N-oxide (TMAO). Levels of TMAO can help predict future cardiovascular
5-28-2024

A NEW WAY TO CONTROL HIGH BLOOD SUGAR

Diabetes mellitus (DM) is a metabolic disease characterized by pancreatic malfunction and poor production of insulin. Imagine your pancreas is a factory for insulin, a key hormone that keeps your blood sugar level. Inside this factory are tiny assembly lines called pancreatic islets. When these islets get damaged, it’s like a mini-disaster in the factory. The assembly lines malfunction, and they can’t produce enough insulin. This can lead to
5-28-2024

CDC WARNS AGAIN OF SALMONELLA TIED TO BACKYARD POULTRY

Backyard chickens are causing outbreaks of salmonella across the United States, the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention warns. About 109 people in 29 states have gotten sick from salmonella after touching or caring for backyard poultry, the CDC said in a health advisory. Of those, 33 people have been hospitalized, the CDC said. No deaths have been reported. More than 2 in 5 people affected by the outbreak are children younger than 5, the agency added. Backyard poultry can carry salmonella bacteria even if they look healthy and
5-28-2024

CIRCUMCISION MAY REDUCE THE RISK OF HIV INFECTION

A randomized controlled trial comprised of 247 men who have sex with men (MSM) found that voluntary medical male circumcision (VMMC) can prevent incident HIV infection. These findings suggest that MSM should be included in VMMC guidelines. The study is published in Annals of Internal Medicine. Researchers from China enrolled uncircumcised, HIV-seronegative men aged 18 to 49 years who self-reported predominantly practicing insertive anal intercourse
5-28-2024

SUGAR DOESN’T MAKE KIDS HYPERACTIVE, SUGGESTS NEUROSCIENTIST

It’s a Saturday afternoon at a kids’ birthday party. Hordes of children are swarming between the spread of birthday treats and party games. Half-eaten cupcakes, biscuits and lollies litter the floor, and the kids seem to have gained superhuman speed and bounce-off-the-wall energy. But is sugar to blame? The belief that eating sugary foods and drinks leads to hyperactivity has steadfastly persisted for decades. And parents have curtailed their children’s intake accordingly. Balanced nutrition is critical during childhood. As a neuroscientist who has studied the negative effects of high sugar
5-28-2024

IF YOU CAN’T AFFORD AS MUCH FRESH PRODUCE, ARE CANNED VEGGIES OR FROZEN FRUIT JUST AS GOOD?

The cost of living crisis is affecting how we spend our money. For many people, this means tightening the budget on the weekly supermarket shop. One victim may be fresh fruit and vegetables. Data from the Australian Bureau of Statistics (ABS) suggests Australians were consuming fewer fruit and vegetables in 2022–23 than the year before. The cost of living is likely compounding a problem that exists already—on the whole, Australians don’t eat enough fruit and vegetables. Australian dietary guidelines recommend people aged nine and older should consume two serves of
5-28-2024

PROMISING RESULTS FOR HYPERLIPIDEMIA TREATMENT REDUCE RISK OF CARDIOVASCULAR EVENTS

Research led by Baylor College of Medicine has shown that a new therapy significantly reduces triglyceride levels in individuals with mixed hyperlipidemia—elevations of triglycerides and cholesterol. The results, published in the latest edition of the New England Journal of Medicine, demonstrate how the drug plozasiran works by targeting ApoC3, which is a key regulator of the lipoprotein particles that carry triglyceride and cholesterol remnants versus overall LDL cholesterol levels. “This is a story about elevated triglycerides, which remain a problem in many individuals that I see in my practice,” said
5-28-2024

STATINS ASSOCIATED WITH DECREASED RISK FOR CARDIOVASCULAR DISEASE AND DEATH, EVEN IN VERY OLD ADULTS

A study of adults aged 60 years and older found that the use of statin therapy as primary cardiovascular disease (CVD) prevention was effective for preventing CVD and all-cause mortality, even in adults aged 85 years and older. The study is published in Annals of Internal Medicine. Researchers from the University of Hong Kong used a target trial emulation design to investigate the relationship between statin therapy and CVD risk using electronic health records (EHRs) from the Hong Kong Hospital Authority. The study included adult patients over 60 without preexisting
5-28-2024

SLEEP STUDY FINDS POST-KARAOKE STRESS IS STRENGTHENED BY REM SLEEP

We’re all familiar with the fact that the quality of our sleep has a strong impact on our waking lives. But what you may not know is that sleep stages contribute to how we process life experiences and memories in different ways. Deep sleep, or slow wave sleep (SWS), is associated with memory consolidation, which makes memories longer lasting. Our understanding of rapid eye movement (REM) sleep is less clear: although it is associated with the way we process emotions and how well we remember more emotionally charged experiences, there
5-28-2024

FOR SOME ENDOMETRIOSIS-RELATED OVARIAN CANCERS, TIMING IS EVERYTHING

Two types of endometriosis-related ovarian cancer arise from the same cells but likely at different stages of the menstrual cycle—a nuance that significantly influences treatment response, reports a recent study led by Van Andel Institute and University of British Columbia scientists. The findings, published in the journal Cancer Research, have implications for better understanding and treating a pair of cancer subtypes that together account for up to nearly a
5-28-2024

PRENATAL EXPOSURE TO AIR POLLUTION ASSOCIATED WITH INCREASED MENTAL HEALTH RISKS

A baby’s exposure to air pollution while in the womb is associated with the development of certain mental health problems once the infant reaches adolescence, new research has found. The University of Bristol-led study, published in JAMA Network Open on May 28, examined the long-term mental health impact of early-life exposure to air and noise pollution. Growing evidence suggests
5-28-2024

FOUR WAYS VACCINE SKEPTICS MISLEAD ON MEASLES AND MORE

Measles is on the rise in the United States. In the first quarter of this year, the number of cases was about 17 times what it was, on average, during the same period in each of the four years before, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Half of the people infected— mainly children—have been hospitalized. It’s going to get worse, largely because a growing number of parents are deciding not to get their children vaccinated against measles as well as diseases like polio and pertussis. Unvaccinated people,
5-28-2024

CANCER RESEARCHERS DISCOVER OPTIMAL CANCER-KILLING T CELLS

A team of cancer researchers, led by the University of Houston, has discovered a new subset of T cells that may improve the outcome for patients treated with T-cell therapies. T cell-based immunotherapy has tremendous value to fight, and often eliminate, cancer. The strategy activates a patient’s immune system and engineers a patient’s own T cells to recognize, attack and kill cancer cells. In this way, the body’s own T cells become living drugs. While
5-28-2024

AIR POLLUTION DURING PREGNANCY LINKED TO LOW BIRTH WEIGHT, STUDY FINDS

A recent study has uncovered a troubling link between exposure to PM2.5 air pollution during pregnancy and the risk of low birth weight in newborns. This study highlights the significant impact of air quality on prenatal development and emphasizes the urgent need for stricter air pollution controls.
5-28-2024

DEEP LEANING TECHNOLOGY SHOWS POTENTIAL IN PHOTODYNAMIC THERAPY

In contrast to traditional cancer treatments such as surgery, chemotherapy, and radiotherapy, photodynamic therapy (PDT) is emerging as a novel
5-28-2024

3 CHILDREN HOSPITALIZED IN PUERTO RICO AFTER LIGHTNING STRIKES BEACH

Did you know: lightning can strike the same place multiple times? For example, the Empire State Building is reportedly struck by lightning roughly 23 times per year. Lightning struck a beach in the northern coastal town of Isabela during inclement weather Monday, injuring three children, one seriously, Puerto Rican police said. The children, whose ages ranged from 7 to 12, were taken to a hospital in the nearby town of Aguadilla, a police statement said. The oldest youngster was listed in serious condition, it said. No further details were released.
5-28-2024

CAFFEINE SHOWN TO AFFECT BRAIN DOPAMINE FUNCTION IN PATIENTS WITH PARKINSON’S DISEASE

The effects of high and low consumption of caffeine on the brain’s dopamine transporter binding in patients diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease. Regular high caffeine consumption affects dopamine function in patients with Parkinson’s disease, shows a new international study led by the University of Turku and Turku University Hospital in Finland. Caffeine consumption before undergoing diagnostic brain dopamine imaging may also affect the imaging results. The research results were published in the Annals of Neurology on 20 May 2024. Previous research has shown that
5-28-2024

STUDY REVEALS CIRCADIAN CLOCK CAN BE LEVERAGED TO ENHANCE CANCER IMMUNOTHERAPY

STUDY FINDS BLOOD CLOT RISK IS INFLUENCED BY ANGLE AT WHICH PULMONARY VEINS REACH THE HEART

5-28-2024

LIGHT THERAPY INCREASES BRAIN CONNECTIVITY FOLLOWING INJURY, STUDY FINDS

5-28-2024

STUDY SHOWS OVERLOOKED LIPID IS CONNECTED TO ANCIENT CELLULAR PATHWAY WITH LINKS TO CANCER

5-28-2024

RESEARCH IDENTIFIES MECHANISMS FOR SELECTIVE MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS TREATMENT STRATEGY

5-28-2024

CHATBOTS ARE POOR MULTILINGUAL HEALTH CARE CONSULTANTS, STUDY FINDS

5-28-2024

COUNTRIES AT ODDS OVER HOW TO REIGNITE PANDEMIC AGREEMENT

5-28-2024

SILIBININ, AN OLD AND NEW MOLECULE

5-28-2024

NEW REPORT REVEALS FATHERHOOD’S HIDDEN HEART HEALTH TOLL

5-28-2024

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN AUDITORY CUES AFFECT BODY REPRESENTATION AND VICE-VERSA?

5-28-2024

TARGETING ‘MONSTER CANCER CELLS’ COULD REDUCE RECURRENCE RATES AFTER CANCER THERAPY

5-28-2024

RESEARCHERS PROPOSE SURGICAL ALGORITHM FOR NASAL ALAR DEFECTS IN ASIAN PATIENTS

5-28-2024

EFFECTIVE LYMPH NODE TRANSFER EASES ARM SWELLING IN BREAST CANCER PATIENTS

5-28-2024

INVESTIGATING HYPERACTIVATION OF MEMORY CIRCUITS AND ALZHEIMER’S DISEASE RISK

5-28-2024

RESEARCHERS DEVELOP 3D MODEL TO BETTER TREAT NEUROLOGICAL DISORDERS

5-28-2024

EXTERNAL VENTRICULAR DRAINAGE TIMING IN TRAUMATIC BRAIN INJURY MAY RESULT IN BETTER LONG-TERM FUNCTIONAL OUTCOMES

5-28-2024

RESEARCHERS GENETICALLY MODIFY E. COLI BACTERIA WITH PART OF HIV VIRUS IN BID FOR SUCCESSFUL VACCINE

5-28-2024

NEW STUDY SHOWS ABDOMINAL OBESITY AND MUSCLE WEAKNESS IN 8-YEAR-OLDS

5-28-2024

EXTRACORPOREAL SHOCK-WAVE LITHOTRIPSY, ENDOSCOPY BENEFICIAL FOR PANCREATITIS

5-28-2024

CONSIDERABLE VARIATION SEEN IN MORTALITY RATES FOR SUSPECTED SEPSIS

5-28-2024

CONJUGATED EQUINE ESTROGEN MAY INCREASE RISK FOR OVARIAN CANCER

5-28-2024

RISING COSTS OF HEALTH CARE COVERAGE CONTINUE TO PUT FINANCIAL STRAIN ON EVEN THE PRIVATELY INSURED

5-28-2024

RESEARCHERS URGE IMMEDIATE ALCOHOL REGULATION TO CURB VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN, KIDS

5-28-2024

STUDY OF DEADLY AUSTRALIAN JAPANESE ENCEPHALITIS VIRUS STRAIN PROMPTS PUSH FOR NEW VACCINE

5-28-2024

STUDY FINDS TEXT REMINDERS HELP IMPROVE HEALTH CARE WORKERS’ MENTAL HEALTH

5-28-2024

RESEARCHERS DEVELOP MINIMALLY INVASIVE SCAFFOLD DELIVERY SYSTEM USING DYNAMIC THERMOSET POLYURETHANE

5-28-2024

MIGRANTS MUST BE A FOCUS OF CATCH-UP VACCINATION CAMPAIGNS, WARN GLOBAL HEALTH EXPERTS

5-28-2024

SPECIFIC MICROBIAL HALLMARKS IN VAGINA COULD INDICATE GYNECOLOGICAL CANCERS

5-28-2024

PEOPLE COMING OFF ANTIDEPRESSANTS ARE LOOKING FOR HELP ONLINE, UNDERSCORING A GAP IN TRADITIONAL CLINICAL PRACTICES

5-28-2024

CASES OF BACTERIAL DISEASE RISE IN BRAZIL’S FLOODED SOUTH

5-28-2024

MEASLES CASES SURGING AGAIN IN EUROPE: WHO

5-28-2024

ETHICAL APPROACHES TO MITIGATE H5N1 BIRD FLU

5-28-2024

PHARMACISTS PROVE EFFECTIVE, LESS COSTLY CARE OPTION FOR MINOR ILLNESSES

5-28-2024

RESEARCHERS IDENTIFY PROMISING PROTEIN CANDIDATE FOR METABOLIC DISEASE TREATMENT

5-28-2024

NEXT-GEN KNEE TRAINING MODEL HEADS FOR GLOBAL MARKETS

5-28-2024

POTENTIAL FUTURE TARGET FOR TREATING PRIMARY HEADACHE DISORDERS IDENTIFIED

5-28-2024

GENETIC MOSAICISM MORE COMMON THAN THOUGHT, STUDY SHOWS

5-28-2024

NEW SEQUENCING METHOD ANALYZES LUNG MICROBIOMES TO PREDICT MORTALITY IN CHILDREN FOLLOWING BONE MARROW TRANSPLANT

5-28-2024

RESEARCH HIGHLIGHTS URGENT NEED TO TACKLE HEALTH CHALLENGES FOR MIGRANTS IN EUROPE

5-28-2024

ONE IN EIGHT PREGNANT PEOPLE HAVE A DISABILITY, BUT REPORT SHOWS GAPS EXIST IN THE PROVISION OF ACCESSIBLE CARE

5-28-2024

BINGE-EATING DISORDER NOT AS TRANSIENT AS PREVIOUSLY THOUGHT

5-28-2024

SAN DIEGO’S BIGGEST MEDICAL PROVIDER IS ALL IN ON ROBOT-ASSISTED SURGERY

5-28-2024

RESEARCHERS REFORMULATE ANTIPSYCHOTIC DRUGS WITH COATING THAT MITIGATES WEIGHT GAIN, BOOSTS SEROTONIN

5-28-2024

STUDY DEMONSTRATES HOW CYTOKINES PRODUCE LONG LASTING HUMORAL IMMUNITY FOLLOWING VACCINATION

5-28-2024

ENGINEERED CAR T CELLS REPRESS SIGNS AND SYMPTOMS OF ALLERGIC ASTHMA IN MICE FOR A YEAR

5-28-2024

NEW SWEAT MONITORING DEVICE DOESN’T REQUIRE PHYSICAL ACTIVITY

5-28-2024

MATHEMATICAL MODEL EXPLOITS CANCER CELL PLASTICITY TO GUIDE ADAPTIVE THERAPY

5-28-2024

RESEARCHERS DISCOVER NOVEL METHOD TO PREDICT EFFECTIVENESS OF MESENCHYMAL STROMAL CELLS FOR CARTILAGE REPAIR

5-28-2024

RESEARCHERS IDENTIFY ‘DEGREES OF KEVIN BACON’ GENE IN WELL-CONNECTED FRUIT FLIES

5-28-2024

STUDY POINTS TO NEW COMBINATION STRATEGY FOR PANCREATIC CANCER

5-28-2024

RESEARCHERS ESTABLISH MICROFLUIDIC CONTROL TECHNOLOGY FOR BLOOD TESTING DEVICES

5-28-2024

PROTEOMIC SIGNATURES MAY INDICATE MRI-ASSESSED LIVER FAT

5-28-2024

RESEARCHERS ESTABLISH MICROFLUIDIC CONTROL TECHNOLOGY FOR BLOOD TESTING DEVICES

5-28-2024

PROTEOMIC SIGNATURES MAY INDICATE MRI-ASSESSED LIVER FAT

One problem I have with published D&D adventures is that they're very railroady IMHO. Unless you force your players down a very particular path, in my experience you have to use the book instead as a set of scaffolding, taking what you like from it and adapting the story to make sense for your table.
My Curse of Strahd campaign used the world, but we encountered things at our own pace in accordance to our characters' motivations, while my Wild Beyond the Witchlight campaign fell apart because I tried too hard to keep it on the tracks the book provided. And then there's Vecna: Eve of Ruin, which seems to be more of the same. A very specific story, told in a very specific way. I can't fathom a world in which my players would engage with that story the way the story expects them to.
So, maybe it's just me, but I think WotC would do well to take the "scaffolding" approach right from the start in this upcoming "not a new edition" edition, and treat their upcoming adventures as "mini campaign setting" books, instead of "adventure" books. Detail the locales that the adventure covers, the monsters and NPCs that inhabit them, the political climate, the demographics of the town, the industries and local points of interest, and rely more on a list of plot hooks that we can adapt to our needs, rather than "read this paragraph aloud and make your PCs encounter this character" before moving on to the next paragraph.
I'd argue most groups seldom run a published adventure EXACTLY as-written. Most DMs I know change things and adapt when the PCs go off in a direction the book wasn't anticipating, so I think treating adventures as more of a book of DM guidelines and advice, rather than a specific story to be told, would be a lot more useful for running games.
Instead of "here's the full quest of how your PCs will save Tasha from the hags", make a "here's a book all about the Feywild realms of Hither, Thither, and Yon, and some ideas of how to run a game in this world".
I dunno. Maybe that's just me.
​

Our landlord is currently getting the exterior of our flat painted - which involves a lot of very loud sanding work that literally makes our flat shake. In her email to us, our property manager told us that this would take around 7-9 working days.
We assumed this meant weekdays. However the painters have informed us they’ll be coming back this weekend to continue doing the sanding. I’ve got a big uni assignment to do over this weekend that’s worth half my grade, and I’m quite worried as I need peace and quiet to be able to concentrate. I find it hard to work anywhere that’s not my own desk and chair due to a tailbone injury.
We called our property manager but it seems the landlord isn’t willing to budge as the rent for the scaffolding is quite expensive.
I was wondering what my rights as a tenant were in this situation? I’m quite distraught and stressed out (work has been tough on top of this uni assignment) and need some help.

Sorry in advance if this is seems like a rant, or if some questions seem dumb. Im a trans male, and I need out of the United States, especially with the upcoming election. I would like to come to Norway, or at least Scandinavia. I have to wait a year to move, because I want my high school diploma first. I would like to come over on a job seekeworker visa. I know it probably seems a bit naive of me, some broke American trying to move elsewhere without much to offer, but I just want to live. I want to be a construction worker, preferably a carpenter, but I wouldn't mind being an electrician or scaffolder. I love construction, and am currently in a construction program. Ive wired the house, done a lot of woodworking, and took a small Scaffolding workshop on a field trip with actual apprentices and journeymen, so I know roughly what I'm getting into, and I know I'll enjoy it.

1. How is trans healthcare? I understand waiting lists are long, and private healthcare is expensive, but aside from that, how is it? Ive heard some users say that the therapy to get diagnosed to get HRT is insanely invasive, other Norwegians I've spoken to said this is not the case. I understand it will vary person to person, but I want to hear everything. Also, can you go on T gel, or only shots? How would a foreigner go about getting onto a waitlist or private healthcare?
2. How expensive is it? Not compared to other countries, but as a citizen, is it affordable with your taxes and wages? I know I will absolutely struggle financially when first moving there, cause I'm from the states, but after I get adjusted, is it generally affordable?
3. Anyone in construction in Norway, how is it? How are the people, the apprenticeships, the work? Commercial or residential.
4. Any tips/ideas to make this as doeable as possible?
5. Probably seems silly, but are you allowed to convert an ambulance to live in in Norway? I know you can in many countries as long as you remove the sirens and decals. I'd like to like in an ambulance, (or RV if I can afford it, but probably wont), because its cheaper than renting, and its movable, and I know some construction jobs require you to move around a lot, so I want to be prepared and have it as simple as possible for me.
6. Can you rent properties? To other people I mean. Buy a scrappy home, fix it up, and then rent it out to people to have more sources of income. I would love to rent homes on the side along with my construction work.
7. Anyone who HAS moved to Norway as a foreigner, especially a younger one, how much money did it take? Or just anyone who can give rough estimates/guesses, how much is it to move?
8. Is it possible to get an apprenticeship in Norway on a visa? Im in a pre aprenticeship program. In the states, it boosts you to the top of every list for apprenticeships, and you skip the wait, youre immediately the top pick. I know this probably wont mean/do much in another country though.
9. If it do move into a home, I want it to be in a smaller town and/or the country area. Im not a fan of big towns/cities, plus I dont want it to be any more expensive than it needs to be for me the first couple of years there while I get my bearings

I understand answers will vary between individuals, I want to hear every opinion. I also know that I probably seem really silly wanting to move without a whole lot to offer other than a promise of hard work in construction. (I am trying to learn Norwegian) Any help would be appreciated, and I'm open to talk in chat rooms if you message me for experiences with construction, being trans, both, or expenses/life in Norway in general!

*Edited for grammar etc because the first 15 times I reread this was apparently not enough
Like many women here, I was diagnosed later in life than my male cohort. I spent most of my life feeling broken, not being able to name the thing that was wrong, gaslit by (American) society into defining my self-worth by my productivity, punctuality, and the prison of near constant masking.
Most of my memory is murky, and only scattered and shattered moments dance across my perception, always accompanied by deja vu and disbelief. A few precious moments explode in unquestionable veracity, like the moment I first named the brokenness.
While living in Oregon 7 years ago, I read an article about a woman who was late diagnosed with ADHD. The author wrote about unsent thank you cards from her wedding some years previous. I remember reading it over and over, unable to process what it might mean for me and the laughable implausibility of anything so simple, so simplistic, as being the cause for the wrenching pain and hopeless despair that plagued for me as long as I (couldn’t) remember.
I also had thank you cards, each with handwritten, personalized heartfelt gratitude, written on handmade plantable paper embedded with lavender seeds that I’d spent months researching in analysis paralysis, addressed, stamped, and sealed, sitting in a special box that I had even shipped… in my car with me when I moved across town. I had been married for 3 years.
Post diagnosis, I’ve run the roller coaster gamut of emotions, recriminations, what ifs… It’s all of them, and none of them, everywhere, always, all at once.
I am conflicted that ADHD is classified as a disability. “That’s cheating”, my internal monologue scolds from time to time. “You’re just lazy, looking for something else to blame, when you should just try harder! There are REAL DISABILITIES OUT THERE. Have some compassion for those who need it!”
My mom is blind. There’s no doubt she’s disabled. It would inflame me to no end for someone to claim she wasn’t, that life wasn’t exponentially harder for her than most of society.
I’ve spent a lot of time looking at the statistics and the research. I’ve discovered random protections that my ADHD provides, like here in Massachusetts, the power company cannot shut off my power if my provider calls them and certifies my diagnosis. I’ve spent too much time thinking about my own struggles, and so much time in therapy working on self acceptance.
I decided I deserve compassion too. I’m not super comfortable defining myself as disabled, but I said it out loud last night. And it felt right.
I’ve come to some occasional peace that there’s no cure. I acknowledge its massive impact of my quality of life. I spend huge amount of effort building and leaning on scaffolding to mitigate the effects of ADHD that I don’t want to tolerate, and similar amounts of effort to accept the other parts with grace. It’s a lot of fucking work. It’s exhausting. I’m okay with it.
It’s weird, and feels kind of funny, but I felt way more disabled when I thought I was just broken. But brokenness is not a capital D disability, just a lower case one. Whatever that means.
And in case you were wondering, I still have those thank you cards. They moved cross country with me! Maybe I’ll help celebrate our tenth anniversary this September by sending them.
But probably not. It would be weird, amiright?

Sorry in advance if this is seems like a rant, or if some questions seem dumb. Im a trans male, and I need out of the United States, especially with the upcoming election. I would like to come to Norway, or at least Scandinavia. I have to wait a year to move, because I want my high school diploma first. I would like to come over on a job seekeworker visa. I know it probably seems a bit naive of me, some broke American trying to move elsewhere without much to offer, but I just want to live. I want to be a construction worker, preferably a carpenter, but I wouldn't mind being an electrician or scaffolder. I love construction, and am currently in a construction program. Ive wired the house, done a lot of woodworking, and took a small Scaffolding workshop on a field trip with actual apprentices and journeymen, so I know roughly what I'm getting into, and I know I'll enjoy it.
1) How is trans healthcare? I understand waiting lists are long, and private healthcare is expensive, but aside from that, how is it? Ive heard some users say that the therapy to get diagnosed to get HRT is insanely invasive, other Norwegians I've spoken to said this is not the case. I understand it will vary person to person, but I want to hear everything. Also, can you go on T gel, or only shots? How would a foreigner go about getting onto a waitlist or private healthcare?
2) How expensive is it? Not compared to other countries, but as a citizen, is it affordable with your taxes and wages? I know I will absolutely struggle financially when first moving there, cause I'm from the states, but after I get adjusted, is it generally affordable?
3) Anyone in construction in Norway, how is it? How are the people, the apprenticeships, the work? Commercial or residential.
4) Any tips/ideas to make this as doeable as possible?
5) Probably seems silly, but are you allowed to convert an ambulance to live in in Norway? I know you can in many countries as long as you remove the sirens and decals. I'd like to like in an ambulance, (or RV if I can afford it, but probably wont), because its cheaper than renting, and its movable, and I know some construction jobs require you to move around a lot, so I want to be prepared and have it as simple as possible for me.
6) Can you rent properties? To other people I mean. Buy a scrappy home, fix it up, and then rent it out to people to have more sources of income. I would love to rent homes on the side along with my construction work.
7) Anyone who HAS moved to Norway as a foreigner, especially a younger one, how much money did it take? Or just anyone who can give rough estimates/guesses, how much is it to move?
8) Is it possible to get an apprenticeship in Norway on a visa? Im in a pre aprenticeship program. In the states, it boosts you to the top of every list for apprenticeships, and you skip the wait, youre immediately the top pick. I know this probably wont mean/do much in another country though.
9) If it do move into a home, I want it to be in a smaller town and/or the country area. Im not a fan of big towns/cities, plus I dont want it to be any more expensive than it needs to be for me the first couple of years there while I get my bearings
I understand answers will vary between individuals, I want to hear every opinion. I also know that I probably seem really silly wanting to move without a whole lot to offer other than a promise of hard work in construction. (I am trying to learn Norwegian) Any help would be appreciated, and I'm open to talk in chat rooms if you message me for experiences with construction, being trans, both, or expenses/life in Norway in general!

Sorry in advance if this is seems like a rant, or if some questions seem dumb. Im a trans male, and I need out of the United States, especially with the upcoming election. I would like to come to Norway, or at least Scandinavia. I have to wait a year to move, because I want my high school diploma first. I would like to come over on a job seekeworker visa. I know it probably seems a bit naive of me, some broke American trying to move elsewhere without much to offer, but I just want to live. I want to be a construction worker, preferably a carpenter, but I wouldn't mind being an electrician or scaffolder. I love construction, and am currently in a construction program. Ive wired the house, done a lot of woodworking, and took a small Scaffolding workshop on a field trip with actual apprentices and journeymen, so I know roughly what I'm getting into, and I know I'll enjoy it.
1) How is trans healthcare? I understand waiting lists are long, and private healthcare is expensive, but aside from that, how is it? Ive heard some users say that the therapy to get diagnosed to get HRT is insanely invasive, other Norwegians I've spoken to said this is not the case. I understand it will vary person to person, but I want to hear everything. Also, can you go on T gel, or only shots? How would a foreigner go about getting onto a waitlist or private healthcare?
2) How expensive is it? Not compared to other countries, but as a citizen, is it affordable with your taxes and wages? I know I will absolutely struggle financially when first moving there, cause I'm from the states, but after I get adjusted, is it generally affordable?
3) Anyone in construction in Norway, how is it? How are the people, the apprenticeships, the work? Commercial or residential.
4) Any tips/ideas to make this as doeable as possible?
5) Probably seems silly, but are you allowed to convert an ambulance to live in in Norway? I know you can in many countries as long as you remove the sirens and decals. I'd like to like in an ambulance, (or RV if I can afford it, but probably wont), because its cheaper than renting, and its movable, and I know some construction jobs require you to move around a lot, so I want to be prepared and have it as simple as possible for me.
6) Can you rent properties? To other people I mean. Buy a scrappy home, fix it up, and then rent it out to people to have more sources of income. I would love to rent homes on the side along with my construction work.
7) Anyone who HAS moved to Norway as a foreigner, especially a younger one, how much money did it take? Or just anyone who can give rough estimates/guesses, how much is it to move?
8) Is it possible to get an apprenticeship in Norway on a visa? Im in a pre aprenticeship program. In the states, it boosts you to the top of every list for apprenticeships, and you skip the wait, youre immediately the top pick. I know this probably wont mean/do much in another country though.
9) If it do move into a home, I want it to be in a smaller town and/or the country area. Im not a fan of big towns/cities, plus I dont want it to be any more expensive than it needs to be for me the first couple of years there while I get my bearings
I understand answers will vary between individuals, I want to hear every opinion. I also know that I probably seem really silly wanting to move without a whole lot to offer other than a promise of hard work in construction. (I am trying to learn Norwegian) Any help would be appreciated, and I'm open to talk in chat rooms if you message me for experiences with construction, being trans, both, or expenses/life in Norway in general!

Sorry in advance if this is seems like a rant, or if some questions seem dumb. Im a trans male, and I need out of the United States, especially with the upcoming election. I would like to come to Norway, or at least Scandinavia. I have to wait a year to move, because I want my high school diploma first. I would like to come over on a job seekeworker visa. I know it probably seems a bit naive of me, some broke American trying to move elsewhere without much to offer, but I just want to live. I want to be a construction worker, preferably a carpenter, but I wouldn't mind being an electrician or scaffolder. I love construction, and am currently in a construction program. Ive wired the house, done a lot of woodworking, and took a small Scaffolding workshop on a field trip with actual apprentices and journeymen, so I know roughly what I'm getting into, and I know I'll enjoy it.
1) How is trans healthcare? I understand waiting lists are long, and private healthcare is expensive, but aside from that, how is it? Ive heard some users say that the therapy to get diagnosed to get HRT is insanely invasive, other Norwegians I've spoken to said this is not the case. I understand it will vary person to person, but I want to hear everything. Also, can you go on T gel, or only shots? How would a foreigner go about getting onto a waitlist or private healthcare?
2) How expensive is it? Not compared to other countries, but as a citizen, is it affordable with your taxes and wages? I know I will absolutely struggle financially when first moving there, cause I'm from the states, but after I get adjusted, is it generally affordable?
3) Anyone in construction in Norway, how is it? How are the people, the apprenticeships, the work? Commercial or residential.
4) Any tips/ideas to make this as doeable as possible?
5) Probably seems silly, but are you allowed to convert an ambulance to live in in Norway? I know you can in many countries as long as you remove the sirens and decals. I'd like to like in an ambulance, (or RV if I can afford it, but probably wont), because its cheaper than renting, and its movable, and I know some construction jobs require you to move around a lot, so I want to be prepared and have it as simple as possible for me.
6) Can you rent properties? To other people I mean. Buy a scrappy home, fix it up, and then rent it out to people to have more sources of income. I would love to rent homes on the side along with my construction work.
7) Anyone who HAS moved to Norway as a foreigner, especially a younger one, how much money did it take? Or just anyone who can give rough estimates/guesses, how much is it to move?
8) Is it possible to get an apprenticeship in Norway on a visa? Im in a pre aprenticeship program. In the states, it boosts you to the top of every list for apprenticeships, and you skip the wait, youre immediately the top pick. I know this probably wont mean/do much in another country though.
9) If it do move into a home, I want it to be in a smaller town and/or the country area. Im not a fan of big towns/cities, plus I dont want it to be any more expensive than it needs to be for me the first couple of years there while I get my bearings
I understand answers will vary between individuals, I want to hear every opinion. I also know that I probably seem really silly wanting to move without a whole lot to offer other than a promise of hard work in construction. (I am trying to learn Norwegian) Any help would be appreciated, and I'm open to talk in chat rooms if you message me for experiences with construction, being trans, both, or expenses/life in Norway in general!

I am 24 weeks currently and work as a commercial/ residential painter and decorator, full time. My job involves lots of walking, bending, reaching (within close distance), getting up ladders and scaffolding (the ladders are very secure and I only work from a small height now).
As the weeks go on I’m of course getting more tired, and the afternoons are more of a struggle than the morning. I can still do most things with a tiny bit of discomfort but I know it’ll only get worse.
Are there any ladies who work/worked a physical job? And when did you have to stop or reduce your working hours? I’m really hoping to work for as long as possible but I know everyone is different! Any bodies stories would be much appreciated!!

It’s still not 100% finished, but I finally got the external trim up and we’ve been using it for seven months now, so it seems like time to make a full post.
This week, right after finishing trim and moving the scaffolding.
Summary

• Free standing building 8’X16’
• Hot room finished interior ~7’X7’ Ceiling ~8.5’
• Wood fired, heater: Harvia Pro20

https://preview.redd.it/5824u03oae3d1.jpg?width=810&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9f04658362fcf51dd2290cf74e5c23980fc9e994
General Thoughts and Experience
We have been using this sauna now since about Halloween. It gets used very regularly, during cold months it was used every day, sometimes multiple times per day. It has held up really well and given the experience I was looking for. We have had groups as big as 11 inside on rare occasions, and six or seven is common and comfortable. There are a lot of things I would do differently next time, although those are mostly about the building itself and there is little I would change about the sauna experience. Eventually I would like a deck/hangout space in front, maybe a shower closer, and if I designed it again I would include a larger changing room.
Sandy beach is right of the dock. Pond is shallow right in front of sauna and is easy to wade into
Background
I built this sauna for my intentional community and our neighbors, a group of around 50 people. I wanted it to be big enough to handle some large groups, but realistically 4-6 people most of the time.
I had never built a building (or much of anything else) before starting this, so it needed to be pretty simple, rustic, and functional.
Our community has rules and norms around buildings that emphasize using natural and reclaimed materials and limiting impact on the land. You can read more about us at https://www.dancingrabbit.org/building/natural-building/
I chose a site near our swimming pond, no utilities available and added emphasis on a low impact design.
Foundation
The foundation is six Osage Orange Posts, 10-14” diameter, buried 36” below grade (frostline is 25”).
https://preview.redd.it/zpjxoxouae3d1.jpg?width=1440&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b6b9f8ecebd9e67310d1059b54a83222d9f9b99b
We placed three beams across the posts on the short axis, then hung joists between them. I laid down hardware cloth on top of that to keep rodents out, and used reclaimed 2X6 Douglas Fir for decking.
After much consideration, I took the advice of sauna ( https://www.reddit.com/Sauna/comments/vnd32l/what\_did\_you\_put\_under\_your\_floor\_when\_building/ ) and did not insulate the floor. I also did not add a finish floor, so the decking provides both drainage and air intake.
Framing
The building is framed with 2X6 Douglas Fir that was reclaimed from an older building. It looks pretty rough, and some of it is, but it is as dry as it’s going to get and it has done all the warping and bending that it is likely to ever do, so it was actually really nice to work with.
https://preview.redd.it/nuyx1fpwae3d1.jpg?width=1440&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=553cee8d57b24fa984b3793f9ed17bb4062160cd
The outside dimensions of the building are 16’X8’. It has a simple shed roof that falls 3’ over the 8’ span of the building itself. One of the big things I would do differently if I did it again would be to make the eaves larger and order proper length roofing rather than assembling 8’ sections. I would also probably make the footprint larger to accommodate an II bench layout inside and a larger changing room.
Insulation and vapor barrier
The hot room is insulated with mineral wool around the walls and ceiling. No insulation in the floor at all. So far the changing room is unfinished and uninsulated. Maybe one day we will finish it, but for now it’s more expense than necessary.
Discotheque
The interior of the hot room has an aluminum vapor barrier fully taped and sealed. Outside there is no vapor barrier around the hot room to avoid trapping moisture in the walls. I used tar paper on the roof and the walls of the changing room.
Exterior finish
The exterior is sided with shingles cut from pallet offcuts (heat treated). There is a pallet mill nearby and they sell the offcuts they didn’t use for basically nothing. Then it is a matter of picking out the pieces that are suitable thickness and width, cutting them to length, and attaching them to nailers running horizontally along the exterior walls. These shingles are 18” long and overlapped double so that 6” are showing and there are three layers of shingle everywhere.
Tons of work to cut each shingle, but basically free.
Trim is done with reclaimed barn siding. The roof is a simple steel roof ordered from a big box store.
Interior Paneling, Windows, and Door
I did a post about the interior paneling already ( https://www.reddit.com/Sauna/comments/17k9tiu/update_on_eastern_red_cedar_sauna_interio ).
Worked top down to make it easier to have a good top row on each wall that match each other and the ceiling. Nailed into only the bottom tab of each plank except the very top one. Then the next plan covered the nail heads. No nail heads are exposed except at the top, but not sure I'd do it this way again.
I used Eastern Red Cedar (ERC), which is botanically a juniper despite what people call it. There is a lot of conventional wisdom that says to not use it, but I found it great. Check the link for most of my thoughts. I’d say that now, seven months after that post, I am even more happy with my choice. The wood is holding up very well. The unique smell is still there, but it has subsided to the point that it isn’t at all overpowering, most people comment on how nice it smells. I don’t notice hot spots from the knots, even when looking for them. One knot on a wall seeped a tiny amount of sap, it wasn’t where anyone would touch so no problem.
I used a shiplap pattern for the paneling. I bought ¾” X 5 ½” rough cut planks and ran them through a planer to get a face. Then I used a dado blade on a table saw to create ½” X ⅜” grooves for the shiplap. Stainless steel brad nails hold them to 1X2 furring strips.
I initially nailed the paneling only in the grooves that were to be covered by the next board to avoid any metal heads showing. However, I had a couple of planks that tried to bow and warp and I had to replace one entirely because it turned into a big frown and was pushing out other planks (right at back level on the top bench naturally). So if I did it again, I would probably be a bit more liberal with the brad nails. Where they are exposed, they are very hard to see and not at all hot to the touch because they are recessed a tiny bit.
I had access to free tempered double paned glass that was salvaged and leftover from another project, so I used it. It is solid and should be pretty good in terms of heat transfer, although I don’t love that it has a pattern of privacy dots. No big deal, we’ve all gotten used to it and don’t really notice. There is a window in the door and one on the exterior wall, both are panes that I hung rather than prehung.
My favorite view.
I followed the Sauna Times method (more or less) for building the interior door https://www.saunatimes.com/building-a-sauna/build-your-own-sauna-doo It is a plywood core with paneling nailed to each side. I cut a rectangular hole to fit the window, it is smaller than the window on one side so the glass just dropped in. Then I used trim to hold the glass in place. The exterior of the door is actual cedar rather than ERC. My brother in law gave me just enough to do the door and some shelves and I was pretty much out of ERC at that point; no other practical reason for that choice. For door handles I used a bent ERC branch that I sanded down on one side, the other side is a root from an Autumn Olive tree that is sanded down. Again, no real reason except that I saw it on an uprooted tree and thought it was a great shape.
Don't mind the mess.
I previously posted some more detail interior door pictures here - https://imgur.com/gallery/interior-door-RqzWXGI
Benches
I debated long and hard about whether to use ERC for the bench wood. It’s very knotty and I was worried about hot spots. In the end I decided to try it for consistency. The ERC lumber that was available was live edge 1” (4/4) slabs rough cut in varying widths. I planed it and ripped it into sizes that maximized what I could get out of the slabs. I ended up with widths of 2 ¾” for the slats as well as a set of boards close to dimensional (5.5" and 3.5") sizes for the frame.
Framing in progress, foot bench and steps still to be added.
Given the thinness of this lumber and the fact that ERC isn’t as strong as some other woods, I decided not to go for floating benches, but instead put legs on the frames. I am very happy with this choice and I don’t think we lost much by including legs, but I do feel much more confident in the weight bearing capacity when we have large groups in here.
The frames are made from the widest pieces of lumber. I attached them to the walls with high capacity lag screws and planned the sequence so that no hardware is visible. In a few cases this meant toe screwing or pocket screwing as well. I included cross braces for reinforcement about every three feet inside the frames so that the bench tops are well supported and can’t really sag anywhere.
The tops of the benches are separate units that can be pulled up for cleaning, inspired by the Sauna Times tutorial ( https://www.saunatimes.com/building-a-sauna/sauna-benches/ ). I’m not sure that was important since it’s easy enough to climb under the benches, but it wasn’t really any more work. The slats are held together with the medium width ERC boards I ripped. They are attached near each end on the underside of the bench, and they are recessed to be snug in the frames so that they provide lateral stability and keep the bench tops from sliding forward and back. One thing I would do differently if I did it again would be to include a few more of these brackets as some of the longer slats have warped a little bit in the heat.
Bench widths are 23” and 22” on the top level, 18” and 13” on the second level, and the foot bench and steps are 8” wide. The top bench is 43” from the ceiling, then it is 18” down to the second bench and another 18” down to the foot bench. I originally made the steps as a separate removable piece to make cleaning easier. But it was wobbly and a little bit scary, so I ended up attaching the steps to the bench frame structure.
I put up some rope lights under the top bench. They work fine when we need some light, but it seems like the batteries go quickly.
https://preview.redd.it/p73q9k1pbe3d1.jpg?width=810&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2b8d26661d0925fc2f0393572c762823d22c073a
I know the L-shape is not everyone’s cup of tea, but it works well for our regular groups of four to seven. I’ve been in the sauna with as many as 11 people and, while it wasn’t exactly comfortable, it worked. If I had it to design again, I would seriously consider an II layout with the heater at the back and a raised platform floor.
Heater and Ventilation
This is a Harvia Pro20 wood fired heater. I bought two boxes of rocks and stacked as many as I could possibly get on it, which is about 1.5 boxes total. It heats up really well, takes about 30 minutes for the room to get usable even when it’s cold outside and within an hour it can be hotter than anyone wants.
https://preview.redd.it/wydp5ylrbe3d1.jpg?width=810&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=923e5a8e4916eb94b408067e66d6ca42802a911c
I debated for a while and ended up buying the Harvia heat shield that attaches directly to the heater and this was a great choice. Not only does it reduce the clearances dramatically, it also stays pretty cool to the touch. Well, not cool, but it’s cool enough that if someone were to grab it accidentally or fall on it, they would not get burned. The walls are additionally shielded with corrugated steel, 1” air gap, cement board, ¾” air gap. On all sides of the heater, I left one or two inches more clearance than required because fire safety isn’t something I’m interested in messing with.
I read all the things about ventilation and find it all confusing. So I just way overdid it. The floor is uninsulated, so it provides more fresh air intake than the stove could ever use. I also put a vent low behind the stove on the interior wall, thinking that if we ever decide to insulate the floor, it could be useful. There is a vent near the ceiling in the corner opposite the heater that we open after every sauna to let out any steam. And another one on the wall behind the heater about halfway between the rocks and the ceiling. When people feel stuffy, we open that one, although I think it’s probably more placebo than anything given how much air comes through the floor. Mostly we use the high ones to vent moisture after we’re done.
Changing Room
The changing room just kind of exists, I didn’t put much effort into finishing it. I paneled the interior wall with plywood to hold back the insulation, but there is no insulation or wall finish elsewhere. I made a couple of benches from an ERC slab and some shelves and towel pegs from scrap lumber and branches of ERC trees growing nearby. Maybe one day we will finish it, but it seems like unnecessary cost. There is no electricity, so we have some janky LED lights that never seem to work right. Maybe that’s something I can tinker with for next winter.
Ptoto taken from just inside exterior door. Shelving goes around two walls, plus towel hooks by the door made from ERC branches growing just outside.
If I was designing another sauna, I would probably make the changing room larger. With more than about three people in there, it gets tight. And there really isn’t good indoor space for hanging out right now.
Outdoor Shower
The shower wasn’t really built for the sauna as much as just to be a shower. But it is between the village and the sauna, so it is convenient for anyone who wants to rinse off. Most folks just use the pond anyway.
Polycarb box contains a stainless tank and acts as a passive water heater. Water comes through a garden hose attached to a nearby hydrant.
https://preview.redd.it/frkw6jezbe3d1.jpg?width=813&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bed5b7166c46b258ddd6849200b0158497358324
Happy to answer any questions, this sub was hugely helpful for me in figuring out what to do and I'd like to return the favor. One last photo of the sauna in snow, prime time.
Perfect sauna weather. Photo from edge of icy pond. Smoke wisping up.

Hi everyone I'm currently looking at replacing my roof as it's come to the end of its life so I thought I'd make the best use of the scaffolding and try to get some solar panels installed at the same time.
I was wondering what the general consensus was on getting panels as part of the roof, as opposed to sitting on top of it? I've read that the efficiency is a bit lower on built in panels because of the lack of air flow, but are there other positives or negatives?
Our roof is kind of east south east if that makes a difference. I've had a quote of about £8k for 14 panels, inverter and 5kw battery. I'm planning to speak to a few more installers but thought this post could be useful.
They've predicted an ROI of about 5 years. We are in the house a lot. Probably 5 days out of 7. Any thoughts?

Hello fellow Helldivers!
Warning: Long post:
TLDR: I’m a business/games guy who just joined Arrowhead as the CEO to enable Johan Pilestedt and the other amazing devs of Arrowhead to do more of what we all want them to do - make games. The ship will stay on the same course, despite the change in captain.
—
My name is Shams Jorjani and I'm the new CEO of Arrowhead! I wanted to DROP BY to say hello, introduce myself, to get a conversation going with y'all and set some expectations. Much like Pilestedt (or Pilen as I call him) himself I'm mainly on twitter /shamsjorjani - but I'm a colossal reddit nerd and read a lot of posts on this subreddit.
Briefly about myself - I'm based in Stockholm, like the rest of Arrowhead. I turn 41 (!) tomorrow and I got my start in video games AT THE EXACT same time as Pilen and Arrowhead as I was the organizer of the indie game competition they won when they made Magicka. Later when they partnered with Paradox Interactive in 2009 I was assigned as their producer and marketing person. So we go back 16 years.
While the Magicka launch was a big success, it was also a bit of a MESS. Sound familiar? The game was insanely broken (terrible producer on that project). But we worked insanely hard to fix things. While the Arrowhead team patched the game like crazy (14 patches in 12 days - so often in fact that after a few days the pirate groups stopped pushing every new build to The Pirate Bay) I meanwhile hopped into every Steam thread and responded to comments, complaints and concerns. I think we all collapsed after 36 hours of non stop work.
When we woke up we thought we'd be met with tons of angry voices - but to our surprise we noticed that while we were away the community had rallied around our messaging and kept repeating our words "they're working on it", "there's a new patch coming on Tuesday" and so on.
I mention this story because there are a lot of similarities between HD2 and Magicka. A lot of the fundamentals of how we worked, how we make games and support them was established there and carried on to today.
Here’s Johan and me as BABIES 12 years ago: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xU28nTjgbcg
We later collaborated again on The Showdown Effect - which was a fun game - but did absolutely terribly. Arrowhead/Paradox parted ways but Johan and I stayed in touch. Over the years I've helped Arrowhead with stuff on the business, strategy and leadership side - you might say that I'm a Business & Leadership Main Class and a Game/Product as a Secondary class - a bit of a mirror image to Pilen who’s a Design/Game Main but also has spent a fair bit of time in business. You'll hear a lot of RPG-terms from me and Pilen.
I stayed at Paradox Interactive for 12 short and fun years and helped grow the company in a leadership position from a small 22 person company to the 800 person behemoth it became. I was mostly in charge of the portfolio over those years - I helped sign and start bangers like Cities Skylines (1), Pillars of Eternity, Surviving Mars and then a bunch of stuff that did not do as well. I signed a game that ended up getting a 22 on Metacritic - Gettysburg Armored Warfare. I wear that achievement as a badge of honor. I finally left Paradox 2½ years ago.
Over the years I screwed up a ton and learnt even more. It was the best school I’ve ever attended.
When I’m not wearing the CEO hat at Arrowhead I play a ton of games: I've played Magic the gathering player since 1995 (I'm a Spike) but also play a lot of pen & paper RPG's. And of course a ton of other games - Dota 2, Kerbal Space Program, Battlefield, Helldivers (I've beat difficulty 8 but not Helldive yet), a ton of roguelikes, Rimworld, Dyson Sphere Program, Subnautica. My all time favorite game is Tie Fighter - but the game I've probably spent most time in is Smash Bro's (N64 & ultimate mostly) - I'm a Kirby main and I hate myself for it. I also serve as the chairman/advisor for indie publisher Hooded Horse. Oh - and I'm a huge Star Trek nerd.
For the past 6 years or so I've hosted a podcast (The Business of Video Games Podcast) about the business side of the video games industry - so that's a pretty good way of getting to know what kind of bullshitter I am. I'm definitely going to be doing episodes in the future about the inner (business) workings of Arrowhead. Whenever something happens that has you going: "wtf were you thinking when you did this" you should say so and I might actually do an episode about it and explain why. The better you understand how we run our business, the more you can keep us on our toes (and I you off our backs about stuff you understand).
https://thebusinessofvideogamespodcast.podbean.com/
As you can probably tell I'm a straight shooter - I expect you to be as well - the only thing I ask is that we keep things civil and constructive. We shape the community we want to have and we all have a better time (and by extension a better game) if we keep things nice. If you're really, really frustrated at times - scream into a pillow, or scream at me. Please don't threaten the people who work on the game. Not cool. Not what Helldivers do.
Ok - what about the future - what can you expect from the Studio?
First off this whole switcheroo is all about getting Pilen closer to the games. Making new games/prototypes, having more time to play Helldivers, work closer to Micke our excellent Game Director and the many other designers/devs we have. I've charged Pilen with being the Obi-wan to many "Lukes" in our studio. If everyone can hear Pilen's sage voice in the back of their heads when they're balancing weapons, designing missions or enemies the better. That doesn't mean Pilen is always right - but we intend to keep him on our toes and he the rest of us. But at the end of the day it’s not Pilen who makes the games - it’s everyone else - it's a team effort.
Secondly - keep working closely with Sony and improve the game for as many people as possible. They're an amazing partner and we really, really really wouldn't have had HD2 if it wasn't for them.
Thirdly - MOAR. We knew it would be impossible to keep up with demand and the insatiable hunger for more fun shit to do in/with HD2. Our singular focus as a studio is to set things up in a sustainable way so that in the long term we can make more and better stuff. We're building a bit of scaffolding before we can make a bigger barn. Queue "where's the patch?????" comments.
Fourth - Dialogue - I think Pilen has set a great precedent talking so plainly and directly with the community about the game. He's our ambassador and he'll keep being our BIG voice. But I'll be here as well, and why I've harped on a bit about myself. There's a human on the other end of the comments. It won't mean we'll respond to every thread, whim or loud voice - but we're here listening. Pilen and I spent an hour over dinner the other night laughing at the memes you made.
This one was our favorite: https://www.reddit.com/Helldivers/comments/1cy2uia/that_would_be_chief_creative_officer_si
I'll be frank and say the same thing most game devs say - when things turn toxic the natural inclination is to retreat. Anyone who gets death threats (and worse) will naturally want to engage LESS with the community. That leads to a negative spiral with less interaction and more frustration. Pilen and I will always be active - but we will be more active the more civil and fun things are. So I'd ask you to help us to turn this into a positive atmosphere. That doesn't mean you can't criticize - you can! and should!
We share well articulated feedback about the game internally, it really resonates and makes it easier for us to do our jobs. We don’t however circulate the posts where we’re told to go jump off a cliff - even if they might have excellent design feedback.
So that’s about it - hit me up, I’ll be lurking, reading and sometimes posting.
/Shams - on his 7th day on the new job.