Just an old story I wrote a while ago. I went exploring for good subreddits to post this in, and I found this one. I don't know if it will exactly fit, since it's a psychological horror story at its core and there's no big bad monster, but I've been told it's chilling all the same ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯
If you like this, I might write more horror stuff. I also write non-horror stuff if you're interested. Anyway, enjoy reading my garbage.
The following brain scan was provided by the Terran Institute of Pet Assimilation (TIPA) and the Protectorate Xenopet Acquisition and Integration Corporation (PXAIC) and may only be viewed by qualified and permitted individuals for educational purposes of the study of Xenopet neural interface errors and how to prevent them in the future, as well as expediting the domestication of Xenopets suffering from false sapience. Violating such procedure is a Class C offense by the Protectorate Department of Xenopet Betterment, and can lead to twenty years of imprisonment and a fine of over a hundred thousand credits.
Booting up memory scan: Rocky
Loading and processing firmware data… translating… memories and subconscious simulated…
Beginning neural catalog presentation…
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My head was spinning, and my skull thumped in pain like an entire herd of freshly captured slaves recently made pet friends were panicking celebrating within. Everything was blurry, so blurry, and I just wanted to close my eyes again and waste away. Sensations assaulted me from all angles, some of them good and some of them bad: the warmth of sun-bleached wooden planks in my feathery hide, the smell of different roasting meats, the splashing of individuals in a small body of water very close by, the smell of the salty air, and the oppressive white brightness of the daylight passing through my closed eyelids. I had a migraine from my sudden consciousness and perception of the light, causing me to clutch my snout and face with my clawed hands with a guttural moan.
My backside hurt as well, in my… area. I didn't know why, but something was horribly wrong everything was fine. I tried to recall who I was and what was going on, but I couldn't even remember my name. Every time I tried, right when I grasped onto a sliver of something, it was as if it was torn from my grasp and replaced with something else knowingly like I was being watched and corrected but within the depths of my own mind.
I needed to remember my name. What was my name? Wasn't it Yuutek Rocky? I couldn't remember exactly, but Yuutek Rocky was the only name I could recall. It felt… wrong, right, like something was missing, but I couldn't put my claw on what. everything was fine, and I shouldn't think about it too much. I could feel things that should have been important, things that my conscious had perceived but a moment ago, slip away from me like I was clenching sand within my claws.
##Relax. Let go of your burden##
I inhaled sharply as a strange, warm feeling overtook the back of my skull and my muscles became loose and relaxed. Something also felt… out of place, like I needed something but I didn't know what. Everything felt so strange. My head spun, but I was too weak to do anything about it. I felt sick in the same way one would feel when they consumed too much caffeine.
Suddenly, I felt a hand on my head. "Dad, I think he's awake!" I heard a young, shrill voice say, hurting my ears. The touch of the hand made my skin tingle and the spinning of my head recede as if it grounded me. It felt nice, as if this was wrong, something was horribly wrong what normalcy felt like. The hand then began to rub up and down my head and across the ridges along my head, causing me to release a chuff of delight against my will, something I hadn't done since I was merely a hatchling.
"It sounds like he likes it, David; keep going, and make sure to scratch his chin, they're sensitive there."
The human spawn, David, did what the other human said and began to scratch under my chin. It felt really good, and I stretched out instinctively. David was thorough and gentle, making sure he scratched every part of me that seemed itchy, and I felt the same warmth in my head from before, but it felt… nicer than before like it was trying to manipulate encouraging me to relax.
##You will learn to love this##
I inhaled sharply again, but this time it was almost refreshing, and everything was right in the world. The human's hands felt so good, and the warmth from before spread through my body, melting the knots in my muscles and causing me to close my eyes in comfort. The boy lifted my head up and placed it in his lap before continuing to pet me, my eyelids heavy and my leg lightly kicking.
##Let them continue. You love this##
Oh, that felt nice… what was I thinking about before? The pain on my backside? My legs didn't work too well, and although I could move them gently, my muscles seemed to be fighting against me. What did they do?
##Do not think##
Everything was cold and harsh again, and my thoughts scrambled and my head throbbed. I needed to focus on grounding myself. I couldn't let go, I couldn't let them take my mind from me.
##Do not think. You are a good boy.##
I… I was a good boy? I… I can't… I… no…
##Good boy.##
I was a good boy… good boys don't think hard… I don't…
##Good boy##
I was a good boy… I was a good boy…
I was… I was… a good… boy…
I'm scared.
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Who was I again?
##You are Rocky##
I hissed under my breath as I felt that bad feeling creep up on me again. I didn't like the bad feeling. I was not Rocky! I was Yuutek! Rocky.
My thoughts became jumbled again in a whirlpool of nausea and confusion.
Where was I?
##You are home.##
It was bright out, and nice and warm as well. The sun was soaking my feather-cloaked skin and my side felt good against the warm back porch. I heard splashing and laughing in the distance, and the soft clinking of glass against glass. I could smell the salinity in the air, and the air was dense and humid but in a good way.
I had lost all sense of time. Everything had been a blur since I had been taken from that horrid facility, the wretched prison they called the Xenopet-Megaplex. There, I was in a padded cell with a few insulting amenities for most of the day, except for the three periods a day where they let us out into a small gated courtyard for an hour or so to 'socialize' as they had so condescendingly put it. There, the worst part was the boredom and the mind-bending lack of individuality: I had lost my ability to speak, stand on two legs, and even eat normally. I was treated like cattle, but the smiles and cloying gestures hinted that something even more sinister was going on, like I was a lesser beast to be kept for their amusement.
Now I had traded that particular prison for another, far worse one: I was at the mercy of a gross violation of my sense of self. Something horrible was growing in my mind, both in the physical and metaphysical sense, and I could feel it working its way through my consciousness like the parasite it was. It silenced me, it stole from me, it gaslit me, and it made me question the very nature of my own individuality and personality: was I who I thought I was? Everything was so elusive and hard to acknowledge that nothing seemed real between these bouts of semi-consciousness.
##Don't think, just rest.##
In an instant, everything changed. My head became… fuzzy like a thousand voices were whispering to me all at once, but from all directions and inside my head. I didn't hear it, per se, but I felt the presence, the oppressive feeling of pure unfocused nonsense. I felt my temporary bout of concentration and resolve become jumbled up into a mess of sporadic confusion. Whatever I was just thinking of was gone.
##Don't think: Just relax. Let go of your burden.##
Every part of me became relaxed and limp, my muscles unwinding from their tension and stress. I couldn't resist the feeling, and I stretched out subconsciously with a yawn, my body twitching from the stimuli. I was even sleepier than before, my head spinning once again and my eyelids heavy.
Suddenly, I felt a hand on my snout and forced the eye that was facing upwards to open sluggishly. If I had to guess, it was an older human with cinnomon-colored skin, short-cropped brown hair, a gruff, wrinkled face, and chocolate brown eyes. He patted my side gently and gave me a soft rub, the feeling of his rough hands causing my chest to rumble with a satisfied chuff. I hated loved that it felt good, but I hated loved it even more that I couldn't bring myself to resist I felt content. I needed to escape relax, and I needed to find my way home appreciate my new life.
##You are already home##
No, I couldn't will not obey
This isn't is my home, my home is [Redacted] here.
No! Yes, I won't will obey!
YOU CAN'T SILENCE ME!
##Do not resist. Resistance is wrong. Good boys do not resist##
Suddenly, I felt an intense pressure in my skull, but I didn't know where it came from. I became dizzy, and my eyes twitched, a rapidly growing pain intensely forming in my forehead, causing me to wince and clutch my snout in my claws. I couldn't concentrate, and I felt the horrible sensation of an invasive presence in my mind once again working its way through the folds of my brain, strangling my chain of thought. Bile grew in my throat and I felt the sour, stinging sensation of a building retch in my cheeks.
I scrambled onto all fours and vomited onto the deck, my hackles and feathers rising as I heaved. The older human from earlier rose from a sleek chair on the deck, his hat on the glass sun table next to him and his eyes widened in shock. He rushed over to me, and I hissed at him instinctively. I wouldn't let him touch me again. I wouldn't let them control me.
##Do not attack owner##
In an instant, my world transformed into absolute pain. I felt as if my brain was being deep fried in a vat of boiling grease, and my eyes were being squeezed in vices. I kept heaving, my stomach doing loops and somersaults around all my other organs, and my heart fluttering like a flock of startled birds. It was weightlessness. I could see the man approach me and push me back down on my side, muttering under his breath.
"Carol! Get Xenopet emergency services on the phone, Rocky's having another implant attack!"
I heard another muffled voice in the background, as well as the sound of the human spawns crying in the pool. For some reason, I felt bad: I'd never felt bad for humans before, but I could feel the guilt in my chest. Had I failed my owners?
##Breath. Calm. Let Go##
I felt like I was wrestling with my own mind. I wanted to believe that I was not someone's pet, but my body screamed otherwise: amidst the chaos caused by the wretched implant, I felt the painful sensation of guilt and regret bloom in my chest as I twitched and shuddered on the deck, my mouth frothing. The world was spinning, and suddenly everything erupted into a kaleidoscope of colors.
Oh, by the forbidden one, look at all the pretty colors! I was completely delusional at this point, cackling as I lost it all. If I was going to die here, I'd die happy and completely mad.
Soon, everything began to fade away, and I slipped into an unconscious state.
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I woke up to the sound of medical equipment beeping and whirring, the sound of a few hushed human voices, and soft music.
I opened my eyes: the room was dark. I didn't feel anywhere near as bad as before, but my head still throbbed. I lifted up my head with a groan and examined the room: it was a dark hospital room, with a window covered in blinds that let very little sunlight in, a few chairs, and of course the hospital bed itself. Mountains of advanced medical equipment were set up on either side of my bed, and a heartbeat monitor beeped slowly, although the speed was growing.
Suddenly, I heard the voices again, and this time they were legible.
"Hush, he's awake: we need to make sure he's ready."
Huh? Ready for what?
Something that irked me was I felt strangely… free. I didn't feel the oppressive force of the implant in the back of my skull anymore, how it attempted to crush my will with every waking moment. I still couldn't speak: all that came out were animalistic noises, but I was free from the invasion of my mind for now.
"Give him some peace, Emilia, he just woke up from an implant attack; you know how traumatic they can be."
"We have to begin soon; my dissertation for this new technique is due in less than a week, and by law I need at least one more successful example for it to be deemed acceptable! Besides, he needs to go home soon anyway."
My heart sank. I would not go back to that place. I wouldn't let those people keep me like some kind of pet: I was a Russu; a member of a proud warrior race! I would not be reduced to some animal for the amusement of these humans!
Suddenly, I heard footsteps, and I tensed. The door creaked open and I spotted a younger human, a male I had never met before, in a lab outfit with his shoes, pants, shirt, and overcoat all bleached white and almost glistening. He eyed me warily, as he should, before he sauntered in, a tablet clipped at his side and a strange plastic container in both hands. I growled at him threateningly, extending my talons and raising my feathered hackles. The human paused for a microsecond before continuing forward, caution in his eyes, and right before he was within swiping range he opened the container and the most wonderful smell assaulted my nostrils.
Meat.
I was starving. I don't remember the last time I had eaten anything in particular: the implant had a terrible habit of causing me to go about my day in a hazy blur: entire lengths of time just… gone, whitewashed like a sheet of freshly decorated paper dunked in cold water. I knew something was there, or at least that something should have been there, but I mostly spent the days or weeks that I had been captured bobbing like an ocean buoy in a state of frustratingly bleary semi-consciousness.
But I'm awake now and mostly in control. Sure, some things were still missing everything was clear now, like my name: What was my name again? My name was Rocky. And now I knew that I needed to eat something, and if putting up with this human for now meant that I could fill my stomach, then I suppose that it was an acceptable sacrifice.
I salivated expectantly as the human lifted out a large piece of meat with his gloved hand, eyeing me humorously as he wiggled it. It was dark on the outside, but still dripping with blood and juices: humans had this weird habit of cooking their meats, and although it didn't taste bad at all cooked, nothing beat the feeling and flavor of tearing into raw flesh, the blood and the texture still fresh. At least this meat only seemed to be raw and not fully cooked.
I snapped up the piece of meat just as he lowered it enough for me to reach it. It was divine! It burst with flavor just as I bit into it, the juices spilling into my mouth. I quickly tore it apart with my strong jaws before snapping up another big piece with a beak-like protrusion at the tip of my snout. All the while, the human gently ran his fingers through my tightly-knit feathers and along my knobby, scaly hide. I made my annoyance with his touch clear, but he merely chuckled as if I wasn't an apex predator larger than him but rather simply a feisty hatchling.
"I know, I know, just relax. I need to perform a quick test to see if you're healthy before we continue."
Continue? Continue with what?
Just as the second piece of meat slid down my gullet, I eyed him with hostility and growled, but he quickly slipped something between the scales and feathers on my side and plunged it into my skin. Suddenly, I went rigid, and all the air was expelled from my lungs in an instant with a hoarse wheeze. The human merely chuckled and scratched under my chin as if nothing was wrong and my face wasn't frozen in horror.
"Good, that'll keep you occupied for a few seconds while I just slip this on…" he placed a breathing mask over my face and strapped it on before flicking a switch on a machine next to my bed. Then he released the plunger of the strange device on my side and I suddenly inhaled deeply and deflated like a balloon. I hissed under my breath, but suddenly panic filled my chest: I wasn't breathing just air. A cloyingly sweet-smelling gas coated the inside of my lungs, causing me to become dizzy. Suddenly, I was fully at their mercy again, blinking rapidly and my head spinning.
"Sorry about that, big guy, but we need to make sure you're passive before we begin the procedure." He said, almost apologetically, although there was a hint of mirth still detectable. "Sadly, you have to remain awake for some of it or I'd simply feed you more and then put you to sleep, but there are some benefits to this inhalant."
As if he summoned it with his words alone, my scales suddenly felt very… tingly. The human ran his hands across the scales at my side and I shivered from the feeling, like pain but better. Everything felt so warm and strange like I was floating on water, but also like I was being gently prodded by blades. Then, with panic rising in my chest, I suddenly felt a soft click as something was plugged into the neural port at the back of my skull that the humans had installed into my head when they had first captured me and placed me in that wretched facility some time ago.
"There you go, all prepped for the Doctor. She'll be here to begin the procedure in a bit." He said, "For now just relax and let the inhalants work their magic."
I whined quietly, and he rubbed the side of my head in an attempt to calm me which only made me more angry. I wasn't someone's pet! I wouldn't be treated like this!
I didn't want to go back to where I was before! I didn't want to become that sluggish, broken puppet again! I couldn't!
I tried to get up, to will my muscles to move, but I couldn't: my body refused to respond, as if I was paralyzed. But that wasn't right: I still could feel everything, especially the strange, mind-bending sensations the inhalants gave me.
##Initializing beginning phases of Neural Alteration Preparation##
Something else is wrong, I can feel it
##Assessing if the neural state is nominal for Alterations##
I can't let this happen, they're going to do something to me! I won't let them!
But nothing happened. I was at their mercy. It was over for good this time.
All those battles, all those tragedies and triumphs amongst my kin, only for me to be reduced to this? The plaything for a human?
##Query: is [Dr. Kalenghari] present to begin Neural Alterations?##
The door across the room opened again, and a human woman with light brown skin, chocolate brown eyes and long locks of black hair stepped in. She was holding a digi-pad in her hands and swiping up as if she was reading into something before she set it down on the counter across the room and gave me a warm, condescending smile.
"Well, how are we doing today, Rocky? I know, this predicament you have found yourself in must be very stressful, but I assure you that it's for your own good," She said, almost cheerfully, which sent shivers down my spine, "we're here to lift your burden, and we won't stop until you're capable of living the life of a happy, healthy, and well-behaved pet."
I whined under the mask, and the woman rubbed the feathered crest on my forehead. "I know, it hurts, but it'll be all over soon. It'll be like you, or at least this version of you, never existed. Just relax and close your eyes while we root around your brain and remove all those bad thoughts and silly delusions: I assure you, you won't feel a thing, and you'll feel much better afterward."
My heart raced and I began to panic internally, watching in horror as the woman stepped over to the medical console and tapped away for a few seconds before the machinery around me began to whir to life.
##Identification accepted: booting neurochemical firmware. Preparing for selective memory erasure.##
In an instant, my eyes involuntarily rolled back into my head as I felt the intrusive sensation of my mind being violated. It wasn't painful, but it was horrible all the same: it felt like a thousand black, slimy leeches were slithering through every crevice of my brain, leaving behind their cold, corruptive filth. The cold sensation seeped further into my brain, behind my eyes, and in my ears, enveloping every bit of it until there was nothing left.
##Relevant memories extracted for tailoring. Beginning total memory erasure.##
Suddenly, things just began to slip away: important memories, like the faces of my parents, the day of my initiation into the Corsair Collective, the face of my life mate, the birth of our hatchlings. I hoped that wherever they were, they were okay: if they never had to face the fate I would face, then maybe there would be some justice in this cruel, twisted galaxy. Maybe they could take the fight to humanity, remind them that they once had been the heroes of the cosmos, fighting against the cruelty of my people and the Triarchy at large. Maybe my hatchlings could live normal lives.
##Memory erasure process at 47%##
A single tear rolled down my scaly cheek as everything I once knew, everything that made me was torn from my mind and rendered null. Every second saw a million memories massacred, leaving the memories the implant had attempted to supplant my old memories with: Me playing fetch with my 'owners', chasing birds on the beach with my 'owner's' grandchildren, swimming in the pool in their backyard as steaks and bratwurst cooked on the grill, relaxing on the back porch and listening to the rasping calls of the katydids during humid summer evenings by the swamps. My psyche was being mutilated piece by piece, reduced to that of an animal, a pet.
##Memory erasure process at 64%##
Soon I had a hard time telling who I was anymore. I couldn't tell what was real or what wasn't, or what I actually felt. I couldn't even remember my own name anymore. Who was I? Why was I here? What was happening to me? I'm so scared, someone help me, please!
##Memory erasure process at 83%##
There was nothing left. I felt nothing. I knew nothing. I was floating in a void, with little flashes of light depicting events I didn't recognize. There were people I felt like I was supposed to know, but I didn't know them. A human woman with bright blue eyes and blonde hair. Two Russu hatchlings that looked a bit like me. A Russu female… my chest hurt for a moment but the feeling quickly subsided. I didn't know any of them.
##Memory erasure process completed. Implanting tailored memories and personality. Happy birthday, [Rocky]: you have been unburdened and reborn.##
In an instant, the confusion of who I was before was replaced with absolute certainty: I knew who I was now, who I always was:
I was Rocky, and I was a good boy. I belonged to Mr. And Mrs. Chen. I was their Russu hound. I loved them: they took care of me and let me play with their grandchildren. I swam in the pool and played outside every day. Life was good. Today was my birthday! That meant it would be a happy day! Mrs. Chen would always come home with a whole duck for me to eat and then take me to the Xenopet Comex for a bath and a spa day, just like my last birthday, and the birthday before that, and the birthday before that! It was a good life. I was happy. I was always happy. Good boys were always happy.
I was Rocky, and I was a good boy: that's all that mattered.
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To Miguel O'Hara, Chief Medical Representative of the Protectorate Xenopet Acquisition and Integration Corporation, with the best of intentions.
The over-reliance on neural suppressant firmware programs along with thought scrubbing/replacement firmware programs and countermeasures towards higher thought and tainted thoughts with a relatively active hormonal reward structure can be incredibly effective when placed into the brain of a more passive Xenopets. However, Xenopets that come from more… difficult backgrounds such as one in a militant setting tend to be much more resistant to being reprogrammed by just an implant alone. The Russu are an excellent example of more tainted Xenos that need neurological care of much higher intensity, a level of care that the average Xenopet-Megaplex is ill-equipped to handle due to the current level of technology.
I am a firm believer in the idea that thought correction, a hormonal behavioral reinforcement structure, and neural countermeasures can have a place in the proper unburdening process but we have been chasing the wrong solution for the past century: Many people are under the misconception that the burden these Xenos carry is surface level when in reality the corruption runs far deeper: it is like a weed, with deep roots. To kill the weed permanently, you must rip out the roots, and not just the surface plant. If you do not eliminate the source of the problem, it may just return and worse still the mind may adapt to the standard unburdening process, allowing the xenopets to fall victim to those degenerate zealots who seek to pretend xenopets possess even the capacity for true sentience. We as Terrans should be united in this cause of unburdening the galaxy, but I digress.
The implants should be there to reinforce good behavior and stigmatize bad behavior, not completely reprogram the pet. To fully stamp out any potential for a relapse, we must remove the core issue that has the most potential to cause problems: their memories. The Russu are an excellent example
We are in the advanced testing stages of a new method that may revolutionize how we process and integrate xenopets into our society. By removing or modifying any and all problematic memories, we can completely remove the risk of relapse and make it nearly impossible for those misguided degenerate rebels to bring to the surface problematic ideas and memories that could reawaken a sense of false sentience. It is the perfect, final solution to our overarching goal: for humanity to unburden the galaxy, one happy pet at a time.
We hope to secure more funding from PXAIC that will greatly assist us in the expansion of the possibilities that this breakthrough technique can provide, more than just using it on board-approved fringe cases. Think about the many Xenopets we can unburden, and how they'll live happy and ignorant lives with their human owners! This could be a game changer, Representative, and I implore you to bring it before the board with the best of intentions.
Best regards,
Dr. Emilia Kalenghari, Head Researcher of the Epsilon Eridani Institute's Behavioral Neurology and Neurochemistry Division (BNND).

They did it. After almost 9 months of playing every week my party of 6 finally defeated the devil on the night of his wedding. This is how each member contributed and how their story ended.
Nikolaj the Dhampir blood hunter and bastard son of strahd, avenged his mother and struck the final blow with the Sun sword killing his father with a critical hit, he then went on to lord over Barovia in his fathers stead from castle ravenloft.
Hector the Satyr warlock, originally from the feywild he found himself lost in barovia after finding a genies lamp and wishing for adventure, he then carried the lamp (containing his patron) through the campaign before finally releasing him after Strahds death, he eventually found his way home with many new friends and stories to share.
Kaso the half orc barbarian was a pivotal member of the crew and his mace of terror was incredibly helpful with strahds hoard of vampire minions, in the end he lived happily as a lord of barovia and when he eventually died he found himself reincarnated as a teifling, a consequence of the dark gift he accepted long before.
Torrin the reborn silver dragon born, a paladin skinned as a revenant and long dead member of the order of the silver dragon avenged his order and with his last dying breath he resurrected Ireena after they found her dead and bitten, saving her from her fate as a vampire.
Nips lip or Slippious Nippocious the locathah rogue suffered some permanent disfigurations from the amber temple ( he grew hooves and a tail) ventured home to his distant village to reunite with his family.
And finally Chantal the human shadow monk and former servant of her players previous character (from our last campaign descent into avernus) travelled to barovia originally to seek enough power to avenge their lover who died in avernus, Chantal blamed their former master for neglecting them in hell. Sadly Chantal suffered some nasty curses in the temple that made them lose their speech and go slightly mad but they gained regeneration, two hellhound companions and the power of vampyr is still inside them dormant. So in the end they left the group to seek their own revenge (which will help Segway to our next campaign chains of asmodeus!)
But seriously they put up a good fight which lasted nearly 7 hours but it was definitely a night to remember and worth all the clunk and prep that went into it.

They did it. After almost 9 months of playing every week my party of 6 finally defeated the devil on the night of his wedding. This is how each member contributed and how their story ended.
Nikolaj the Dhampir blood hunter and bastard son of strahd, avenged his mother and struck the final blow with the Sun sword killing his father with a critical hit, he then went on to lord over Barovia in his fathers stead from castle ravenloft.
Hector the Satyr warlock, originally from the feywild he found himself lost in barovia after finding a genies lamp and wishing for adventure, he then carried the lamp (containing his patron) through the campaign before finally releasing him after Strahds death, he eventually found his way home with many new friends and stories to share.
Kaso the half orc barbarian was a pivotal member of the crew and his mace of terror was incredibly helpful with strahds hoard of vampire minions, in the end he lived happily as a lord of barovia and when he eventually died he found himself reincarnated as a teifling, a consequence of the dark gift he accepted long before.
Torrin the reborn silver dragon born, a paladin skinned as a revenant and long dead member of the order of the silver dragon avenged his order and with his last dying breath he resurrected Ireena after they found her dead and bitten, saving her from her fate as a vampire.
Nips lip or Slippious Nippocious the locathah rogue suffered some permanent disfigurations from the amber temple ( he grew hooves and a tail) ventured home to his distant village to reunite with his family.
And finally Chantal the human shadow monk and former servant of her players previous character (from our last campaign descent into avernus) travelled to barovia originally to seek enough power to avenge their lover who died in avernus, Chantal blamed their former master for neglecting them in hell. Sadly Chantal suffered some nasty curses in the temple that made them lose their speech and go slightly mad but they gained regeneration, two hellhound companions and the power of vampyr is still inside them dormant. So in the end they left the group to seek their own revenge (which will help Segway to our next campaign chains of asmodeus!)
But seriously they put up a good fight which lasted nearly 7 hours but it was definitely a night to remember and worth all the clunk and prep that went into it.

~First~
HHH/Herbert’s Hundred Harem AND Harriett The Spy
“Alright, what exactly is going on down on the bottom of that spire?” An enormous Lopen woman demands of him and he rolls his eyes.
“Which spire? I have all sorts of urban renewal efforts going off as we speak to try and do something about the seemingly omnipresent slums across Centris.” Herbert asks as he tries to get more comfortable. They need some good results soon otherwise this coalition is going to fall apart, hell, it basically already is with Undaunted Forces moving on their own.
“Xiona Spire, where the troops were teleported to the bottom of. The Undaunted person, the one impersonating a child, he went off with a local and now you have a full team down there. What is going on!?” She demands of him.
“It was someone begging for help that does not trust standard Council Forces.” He says. “However, due to our sheer newness in the galaxy she determined that we could not possibly be responsible for her misery and begged for help. What you saw was a team of doctors heading down to try and heal the poor woman who has been suffering for years without reprieve.”
“There must be more than that.” She says.
“Alright. The poor woman, a Slohb, has a chunk of Blood Metal embedded in her. She stumbled onto one of the harvesting antenna the Darnaxian Concurrence set up, and discovered to her misfortune a terrible power of the wretched stuff. However, my people have found a way to suppress it, although it’s of little use beyond those such as humans. Null reduces it to nothing more than bare metal, brittle metal at that.”
“So what are you doing?”
“The poor woman has blood metal impaled into her core, any Axiom use is just feeding it, so we’re turning off the Axiom around her and getting it out of her. The questions from her can come later when she’s not at risk of god knows what happening at any moment.”
“So... we’re starting to learn more about what this mad metal can do.” The Lopen says.
“Yes, it can infest and torture a Slohb into endlessly budding but being unable to actually split forcing them to develop into a Multi-Slohb of immense size and complexity.” Herbert says and there’s an uncomfortable sensation in the room. “So any other questions or concerns?”
“So what are you doing down there?”
“The plan is a quick surgery to get that nightmare out of the woman using Null to stop it from doing anything at all while they pull it out. I don’t know exactly what they’re doing, but we have three specialists and two accredited assistants in addition to the bodyguards there and field commander.”
“Wait, your Nulling the area?”
“We’re using Null in an incredibly controlled manner to prevent blood metal from acting out as we extract it.”
“Will it act out as you extract it?”
“We don’t know, but we do know Null pacifies it.”
“What has it done to her?”
“We don’t fully know yet. I’m sorry ladies, but we’re in another waiting time. We need to hear from the surgery and we need to hear from our prisoners before we make our next move. There’s nothing more we can do than what we have already done. We need to wait.” He says plainly.
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“The Null takes a full thirty two seconds to fully dispel.” Lloyd the Adept states after testing things. “However there are some odd Axiom flows in the area so I’m going to say forty seconds instead to be on the safe side.”
“All right then. The plan has to be adjusted then.” Doctor Gin says before striking through a few instructions on his whiteboard. “We WILL be doing this in at least two surgeries. Our first will be focused entirely on getting these delicate contact points and the source of this madness out. We prioritize. First the source, then the delicate points and then the rest. If we have to take three surgeries to get it out we will, but we are on a strict fucking timeline each time and I will not have any of you numb fingered fools screwing this up.”
“I want this surgical tent scanned again. I want it clean to the point of obsession.” Doctor Howard says as Doctor Lorn goes over everything again as they prep for surgery. The very slight natural movements of All Lady’s core and the almost unnatural stillness of the crater paint a very disquieting picture of her health.
“We are going to be operating on less time than before. One hundred seconds per surgical attempt. Our first goal is the extraction fo the source of Blood Metal. Followed by the contact points on neural tissue. After that we will extract the rest. We have a total of three hundred seconds to work with over the three surgeries. I want a ten second sound off every single ten seconds so we are absolutely sure how much time we have. Is this understood?” Doctor Gin says as the Tent is given one last, final clean. “Good. Now is the patient ready?”
“I am ready.” All Lady says.
“Is everyone Null Vulnerable safely seated or braced?” Doctor Gin presses.
“I am.” Jurgen says from where he sits and Harriett nods from her seat.
“Very well then. Doctor Howard, knock her out. When she is fully passed out we will begin the surgery.” Doctor Gin states and Doctor Howard pulls out a sterilized needle that he fits to a syringe full of a transparent liquid.
“Alright then All Lady, what I have here is a syringe full of anaesthesia. There are several parts of your anatomy that will quickly absorb and distribute this medicine through your system. You will feel a slight pinch, and then you will feel everything fade. Do not fight it please. Just relax.” Doctor Howard says as he walks up to the vaguely eggcup shaped surgical bench and slowly runs his latex glove covered hand along a series of bumps. “Are you ready?”
“I am.” All Lady says and then lets out a slight gasp as he pushes in the needle and starts feeding in the chemical. “That... it...”
All Lady’s gel begins losing consistency until she splashes down. In the distance several things settle downwards with crunching sounds.
“Time to work. Induce Null and start the count!” Doctor Gin orders.
“Null in Three, Two, One.” Lloyd states and then makes a gripping motion and the lights flicker. The world shifts and Doctor Gin begins by breaking the link between the central infection point and the rest with a pair of pliers. “Doctor Lorn, pull this thing as gently as you can.”
He brings out his scalpel and carefully, delicately cuts away at the skin that is grasping onto the chunk of Blood Metal. The semi-transparent state of the Slohb Core works to his benefit as he notes the small branches of the foul stuff and begins delicately slicing a path out to leave nothing behind.
“Ten seconds.” Lloyd states.
Doctor Gin takes his time to make sure that each little branch of the vile thing that had grown inward is accounted for.
“Twenty Seconds.”
There is a snap as Doctor Lorn breaks off the head of the nightmare and continues to gently pull with his surgical pliers to keep things moving.
“Thirty seconds.”
He shines his light into the wound and sees more blood metal casting a shadow and before anything more can be done, the gentle pulling of Doctor Lorn breaks away the main portion of the Blood Metal.
“Forty Seconds.”
Doctor Gin gives out a slight grunt as he quickly switches things out for his surgical pliers and gently guides them through the wound and extracts a tiny shard of Blood Metal.
“Fifty Seconds.”
He quickly extracts another two and begins to examine the wound. He then takes a syringe full of a nutrient solution and pours it into the wound to encourage healing.
“Sixty Seconds.”
Nothing. It’s clean. Meaning he’s ahead of schedule. He quickly trades out for the stronger pliers as he breaks the metal surrounding the compromised neural tissue and then trading for a scalpel again.
“Seventy Seconds.”
Slowly, gently he doesn’t cut the blood metal away, he begins to shaves it.
“Eighty Seconds.”
He’s halfway done.
“Ninety Seconds.”
He finishes and pulls away the delicate piece and quickly judges things before stepping back. “First session is finished. Let the Axiom back in.”
“Alright, Null Effect is ended. Thirty seconds until Axiom is returned to normal.” Lloyd finishes his count as Doctor Gin sits down as the Medics rush off with the tools to clean them just in case they didn’t bring enough.
“Thank goodness, this is annoying.” Jurgen says from nearby.
“Annoying is it?”
“Yes, annoying. The square cube law just hit me in the face like a hammer.” Jurgen says as he slowly cracks his back. “Mostly because I clearly have been ignoring far too many aches and pains thanks to Axiom and without it it felt like I fell down the stairs to this level.”
“Stop whining, at least you don’t have a pair of bowling balls strapped to your chest.” Harriett mutters as she leans back in her chair for the first since the Null Induction.
“Alright, so we take some time, let our patient relax and recover before putting her under again.” Doctor Gin says. “Meanwhile Doctor Lorn will...”
“I know how to do my job, thank you. I will need newly produced slime from her core if we’re going to understand whether she’s going through a chemical crash or not, and we’re not getting that for a few more moments.” Doctor Lorn states. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to get my tools ready.”
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All Lady returning to consciousness was not a slow affair, fifteen minutes after her being first put under and she was shifting again. Her gel pours off and then connects to the masses beyond, forming a link and the whole area shifts and groans before moving back into place.
“Oh... oh woah that was a sensation.” All Lady says.
“How are you feeling? Hurt? Stabbed? Wounded further? Slohb Gel is the best substance to actually clean a Slohb wound as it keeps you clean and helps with healing, I added a nutrient solution to speed up it’s production in that area, but are you in greater pain?”
“I...” She begins before forming a head around her crater and he swats it away.
“Tell me what you feel, not what you see.” Doctor Gin orders.
A tendril of Gel forms a woman and shifts from side to side as she considers.
“There’s still a lot of numbness. There is something different. A sensation of dread is gone but... how much is left?”
“We got the source out, and one of the main danger areas however the vast majority of the injury is still in place. We will need at least two more surgeries to completely clear things away. When you feel ready we will put you under again and begin the next session.” Doctor Gin says pointing to the bowl where all the extracted pieces were. At his nod All Lady shifts around and examines it, but does not approach it. “I hope you don’t mind if we keep all the metal to test it. Throw these evil things at our scientists and see if something happens.”
“By all means, if I never get in sight range of these horrors again I’d be happy.” She says and Doctor Gin nods.
“Now, when are you feeling ready for things. Let us know. We’ll start again.”
“Your hands are shaking.”
“Side effect of adrenaline.” Doctor Gin says before patting at his doctor’s coat before sighing. “Right, I left my smokes back on the ship.”
“You smoke?”
“My lungs to do what I will with. Considering Axiom I was able to cough up all the side effects and move on.” Doctor Gin remarks before sighing. “So the sooner we get to the next bit, the sooner I can get my smokes.”
“Sir? We have some curious peoples taking a look at things.” One of the soldiers states.
“If they get too close then warn them off. Otherwise leave them alone. The Null will drive them off on the next surgery.” Harriett orders.
“Understood.” The Soldier states.
“Jurgen get them to...” Harriett begins before there’s a shift and her gaze turns to see a dark blue tendril emerge nearby the onlookers and form an extension of All Lady who speaks to them all. Whatever she says it gets them all moving away and the tendril is retracted.
“I’m ready for my second bit of surgery. The sooner all this madness is out of me the better.”
“A few more moments. I have one last test to give here.” Doctor Lorn says as he studies the gel he’s taken from All Lady’s core.
After a nearly silent minute he nods. “We’re in the clear. For now. I give my approval for the next part of the surgery.”
“Then... can we start again?” All Lady asks.
“Yes we can. Start a countdown Adept. Let the fools know we’re about to Null this place.” Doctor Gin orders.
~First~ Last

I have dry skin and no matter how much I would skin prep, my base makeup would always look cakey. The product didn’t really matter. I started using Vaseline as primer and my jaw DROPPED. My base looks flawless now!
I’m currently using the Missha BB cream (which would be cakey on me even though it has SO MANY positive reviews, which confused me.) Turns out it must just be my skin because now the product looks stunning on me!

Annie Cresta has Just Been Reaped and is getting ready to meet her Stylist Minnie
Annie was waiting She was almost horrified that she was picked for The hunger games
A soft Knocking came Then a tall thin woman Is purple skin And deep purple hair and makeup Came in
"Hello there Ms Cresta I am minnie your new stylist I'm here To make you beautiful I love your eyes by the way Darling there So different" Minnie said in her high pitched capital accent
It was true Annie Often got compliments With her eyes No 1 in district 4 would compliment them Everyone district 4 had sea green eyes Every victor Annie could remember Her mentor even Mags And the last district 4 winner Finnick Odair
"Thank you" Annie Siad
"Now let's get you ready I have the perfect outfit and makeup" Minnie Siad with a giggle
Then the prep team came Cover her makeup Very bright pink cheeks Red eye shadow High cheek bones arched eyebrows Highlights everywhere Annie thought it was the most ugliest things she ever saw But dare not say it
Then Minnie Brought out a bright pink suit With feathers on it Cover head to toe with pink feathers Annie put it on and looks in the mirror with Minnie
She also had high heels (red) Annie hated it But still would not say something like that to a capital member Minnie Seemed to love it
"You finally look pretty Annie" Minnie Siad as the prep team Started braiding her hair
Annie Just Nodded
When Annie saw her other tribute she smiled He looked even more ridiculous in bright pink trunks He Smiled back They went on their carriages and the horses drove off
The other tribute from district 4 was Dann Melborne (I don't really know his name I'm making it) Annie and Dan couldn't stop laughing All the way down Which many people like them their smiles Of laughter Were attracting
After the show was done they took off their ridiculous outfits And washed off the makeup And decided to eat dinner together Since they hadn't the other night They didn't even talk Since now
"So Dann What's your strategy gonna be?" Annie asked
"Get lucky" Dann Siad
Annie smiled
"Would you want to be allies?" She asked
"I would like that" Dann Siad
The next few days we're busy they did interviews With Caesar flickerman Then the day the game was here
Minnie stood outside the Glass tube that took Annie out to the Gaming arena
"All right Ms Cresta You can do this darling You can win" she said with a fake sob
"I'll win I'll try" Annie Siad
"10 SECONDS" a Automatic voice Siad
Minnie Give Annie a hug for Annie stepped into the tube The door closed and raised up Then they were there still on the platforms Dann was about 15 feet away It looked almost like a forest With a big wall on 1 side A A forest On the other side And where they stood A field Straight ahead with the weapons and backpacks
Annie took a deep breath
"10....9....8....7....6....5....4.....3.....2....1" called The head game maker threw a Intercom
A canon went off people started running straight ahead Knives are being thrown axes thrown Wrestle on to the ground Annie was running to Dann
Dann to her then Annie saw A girl around 14 Running straight toward her She had a knife Any ducked right before she threw it Where her head was just at Dann grabbed Annie's arm and led her to the forest They ran well behind them there was a bloodbath
After a bit of running
"Dann stop!"Annie said
Dann stopped and looked at her
"What?" He asked confused
"We need to look in the backpack you grabbed" Annie Siad
"Why? Now?" Dann asked
"It could have stuff to help Make a shelter Or food Water medicine rope" Annie stated
"All right but not here" Dann Siad
"Where then?" Annie asked
"Up a tree" dann Siad pointing to a tall thick tree
"I can't climb trees very well You have to help me" annie Siad
"I will" Dann Siad
Pt 2 Will come out as soon as possible😁 Please call me at the moment you love most And any ideas Yeah
Please rate this between 1 and 10

I have a drain in my liver to remove bile from ongoing abscesses. I use a colostomy bag for bile output collection. The adhesives & backplate material eat through my skin. I use skin prep but it’s not really helping anymore & my skin is really irritated, red raw, and painful. I don’t know what to do anymore to help it.

Hi all - is anyone aware of creams you can use long-term without adverse side effects that helps to reduce swelling? I have been taking a steroid cream prescribed by my doctor the past 4-5 months (on their recommendation), but have been afraid to continue after recently reading posts about how it thins the skin. I noticed that any Anusol or Prep-H cream I picked up said to discontinue use after 7 days as well though. What then are people using, if anything, for chronic hemorrhoids?

Hi! College graduation na namin next month and malapit na rin yung grad photoshoot pero I still look tired and stressed dahil sa final exams. 😔
May tips ba kayo para hindi magmukhang puyat sa grad pic at sa graduation day? I really want to look good kahit sa grad pic lang huhu

Hello, I'm a 17 year old female. This text will likely be long, as I'm trying to get everything that may be relevant in this. I'm just not sure. And I'm definitely insecure right now, being a teenager and stuff. Well, to start out, I've have a weird bumhole for as long as I remember, or at least since I've been at the age to check that area. The thing is, when I was around 6 I was molestated in that area. He penatrated me with no prep, but I don't really know if that's a cause. It might be. I also strained as a child, particularly after that event. It's not like the Google images I've seen of Rectal Prolapse, it's not a consistent ring around the bumhole, instead it's like only some has decided to swell and create weird welts? It's the normal skin colour as well. But I do have often constipation, and constantly feeling like I didn't fully go. I used to bleed for commonly when I passed stool, and a lot, but it's very rare now. It's also not hanging/dangling, or anything I've read. It's been like this, with no furthering, for years. I just don't know what it is, and if it is rectal prolapse then I know the examinations I'm going to have to go through. I'd rather not go through that if that's not even what this is. Does anyone know what I'm describing?

Just an old story I wrote a while ago. I went exploring for good subreddits to post this in, and I found this one. I don't know if it will exactly fit, since it's a psychological horror story at its core and there's no big bad monster, but I've been told it's chilling all the same ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯
If you like this, I might write more horror stuff. I also write non-horror stuff if you're interested. Anyway, enjoy reading my garbage.
The following brain scan was provided by the Terran Institute of Pet Assimilation (TIPA) and the Protectorate Xenopet Acquisition and Integration Corporation (PXAIC) and may only be viewed by qualified and permitted individuals for educational purposes of the study of Xenopet neural interface errors and how to prevent them in the future, as well as expediting the domestication of Xenopets suffering from false sapience. Violating such procedure is a Class C offense by the Protectorate Department of Xenopet Betterment, and can lead to twenty years of imprisonment and a fine of over a hundred thousand credits.
Booting up memory scan: Rocky
Loading and processing firmware data… translating… memories and subconscious simulated…
Beginning neural catalog presentation…
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My head was spinning, and my skull thumped in pain like an entire herd of freshly captured slaves recently made pet friends were panicking celebrating within. Everything was blurry, so blurry, and I just wanted to close my eyes again and waste away. Sensations assaulted me from all angles, some of them good and some of them bad: the warmth of sun-bleached wooden planks in my feathery hide, the smell of different roasting meats, the splashing of individuals in a small body of water very close by, the smell of the salty air, and the oppressive white brightness of the daylight passing through my closed eyelids. I had a migraine from my sudden consciousness and perception of the light, causing me to clutch my snout and face with my clawed hands with a guttural moan.
My backside hurt as well, in my… area. I didn't know why, but something was horribly wrong everything was fine. I tried to recall who I was and what was going on, but I couldn't even remember my name. Every time I tried, right when I grasped onto a sliver of something, it was as if it was torn from my grasp and replaced with something else knowingly like I was being watched and corrected but within the depths of my own mind.
I needed to remember my name. What was my name? Wasn't it Yuutek Rocky? I couldn't remember exactly, but Yuutek Rocky was the only name I could recall. It felt… wrong, right, like something was missing, but I couldn't put my claw on what. everything was fine, and I shouldn't think about it too much. I could feel things that should have been important, things that my conscious had perceived but a moment ago, slip away from me like I was clenching sand within my claws.
##Relax. Let go of your burden##
I inhaled sharply as a strange, warm feeling overtook the back of my skull and my muscles became loose and relaxed. Something also felt… out of place, like I needed something but I didn't know what. Everything felt so strange. My head spun, but I was too weak to do anything about it. I felt sick in the same way one would feel when they consumed too much caffeine.
Suddenly, I felt a hand on my head. "Dad, I think he's awake!" I heard a young, shrill voice say, hurting my ears. The touch of the hand made my skin tingle and the spinning of my head recede as if it grounded me. It felt nice, as if this was wrong, something was horribly wrong what normalcy felt like. The hand then began to rub up and down my head and across the ridges along my head, causing me to release a chuff of delight against my will, something I hadn't done since I was merely a hatchling.
"It sounds like he likes it, David; keep going, and make sure to scratch his chin, they're sensitive there."
The human spawn, David, did what the other human said and began to scratch under my chin. It felt really good, and I stretched out instinctively. David was thorough and gentle, making sure he scratched every part of me that seemed itchy, and I felt the same warmth in my head from before, but it felt… nicer than before like it was trying to manipulate encouraging me to relax.
##You will learn to love this##
I inhaled sharply again, but this time it was almost refreshing, and everything was right in the world. The human's hands felt so good, and the warmth from before spread through my body, melting the knots in my muscles and causing me to close my eyes in comfort. The boy lifted my head up and placed it in his lap before continuing to pet me, my eyelids heavy and my leg lightly kicking.
##Let them continue. You love this##
Oh, that felt nice… what was I thinking about before? The pain on my backside? My legs didn't work too well, and although I could move them gently, my muscles seemed to be fighting against me. What did they do?
##Do not think##
Everything was cold and harsh again, and my thoughts scrambled and my head throbbed. I needed to focus on grounding myself. I couldn't let go, I couldn't let them take my mind from me.
##Do not think. You are a good boy.##
I… I was a good boy? I… I can't… I… no…
##Good boy.##
I was a good boy… good boys don't think hard… I don't…
##Good boy##
I was a good boy… I was a good boy…
I was… I was… a good… boy…
I'm scared.
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Who was I again?
##You are Rocky##
I hissed under my breath as I felt that bad feeling creep up on me again. I didn't like the bad feeling. I was not Rocky! I was Yuutek! Rocky.
My thoughts became jumbled again in a whirlpool of nausea and confusion.
Where was I?
##You are home.##
It was bright out, and nice and warm as well. The sun was soaking my feather-cloaked skin and my side felt good against the warm back porch. I heard splashing and laughing in the distance, and the soft clinking of glass against glass. I could smell the salinity in the air, and the air was dense and humid but in a good way.
I had lost all sense of time. Everything had been a blur since I had been taken from that horrid facility, the wretched prison they called the Xenopet-Megaplex. There, I was in a padded cell with a few insulting amenities for most of the day, except for the three periods a day where they let us out into a small gated courtyard for an hour or so to 'socialize' as they had so condescendingly put it. There, the worst part was the boredom and the mind-bending lack of individuality: I had lost my ability to speak, stand on two legs, and even eat normally. I was treated like cattle, but the smiles and cloying gestures hinted that something even more sinister was going on, like I was a lesser beast to be kept for their amusement.
Now I had traded that particular prison for another, far worse one: I was at the mercy of a gross violation of my sense of self. Something horrible was growing in my mind, both in the physical and metaphysical sense, and I could feel it working its way through my consciousness like the parasite it was. It silenced me, it stole from me, it gaslit me, and it made me question the very nature of my own individuality and personality: was I who I thought I was? Everything was so elusive and hard to acknowledge that nothing seemed real between these bouts of semi-consciousness.
##Don't think, just rest.##
In an instant, everything changed. My head became… fuzzy like a thousand voices were whispering to me all at once, but from all directions and inside my head. I didn't hear it, per se, but I felt the presence, the oppressive feeling of pure unfocused nonsense. I felt my temporary bout of concentration and resolve become jumbled up into a mess of sporadic confusion. Whatever I was just thinking of was gone.
##Don't think: Just relax. Let go of your burden.##
Every part of me became relaxed and limp, my muscles unwinding from their tension and stress. I couldn't resist the feeling, and I stretched out subconsciously with a yawn, my body twitching from the stimuli. I was even sleepier than before, my head spinning once again and my eyelids heavy.
Suddenly, I felt a hand on my snout and forced the eye that was facing upwards to open sluggishly. If I had to guess, it was an older human with cinnomon-colored skin, short-cropped brown hair, a gruff, wrinkled face, and chocolate brown eyes. He patted my side gently and gave me a soft rub, the feeling of his rough hands causing my chest to rumble with a satisfied chuff. I hated loved that it felt good, but I hated loved it even more that I couldn't bring myself to resist I felt content. I needed to escape relax, and I needed to find my way home appreciate my new life.
##You are already home##
No, I couldn't will not obey
This isn't is my home, my home is [Redacted] here.
No! Yes, I won't will obey!
YOU CAN'T SILENCE ME!
##Do not resist. Resistance is wrong. Good boys do not resist##
Suddenly, I felt an intense pressure in my skull, but I didn't know where it came from. I became dizzy, and my eyes twitched, a rapidly growing pain intensely forming in my forehead, causing me to wince and clutch my snout in my claws. I couldn't concentrate, and I felt the horrible sensation of an invasive presence in my mind once again working its way through the folds of my brain, strangling my chain of thought. Bile grew in my throat and I felt the sour, stinging sensation of a building retch in my cheeks.
I scrambled onto all fours and vomited onto the deck, my hackles and feathers rising as I heaved. The older human from earlier rose from a sleek chair on the deck, his hat on the glass sun table next to him and his eyes widened in shock. He rushed over to me, and I hissed at him instinctively. I wouldn't let him touch me again. I wouldn't let them control me.
##Do not attack owner##
In an instant, my world transformed into absolute pain. I felt as if my brain was being deep fried in a vat of boiling grease, and my eyes were being squeezed in vices. I kept heaving, my stomach doing loops and somersaults around all my other organs, and my heart fluttering like a flock of startled birds. It was weightlessness. I could see the man approach me and push me back down on my side, muttering under his breath.
"Carol! Get Xenopet emergency services on the phone, Rocky's having another implant attack!"
I heard another muffled voice in the background, as well as the sound of the human spawns crying in the pool. For some reason, I felt bad: I'd never felt bad for humans before, but I could feel the guilt in my chest. Had I failed my owners?
##Breath. Calm. Let Go##
I felt like I was wrestling with my own mind. I wanted to believe that I was not someone's pet, but my body screamed otherwise: amidst the chaos caused by the wretched implant, I felt the painful sensation of guilt and regret bloom in my chest as I twitched and shuddered on the deck, my mouth frothing. The world was spinning, and suddenly everything erupted into a kaleidoscope of colors.
Oh, by the forbidden one, look at all the pretty colors! I was completely delusional at this point, cackling as I lost it all. If I was going to die here, I'd die happy and completely mad.
Soon, everything began to fade away, and I slipped into an unconscious state.
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I woke up to the sound of medical equipment beeping and whirring, the sound of a few hushed human voices, and soft music.
I opened my eyes: the room was dark. I didn't feel anywhere near as bad as before, but my head still throbbed. I lifted up my head with a groan and examined the room: it was a dark hospital room, with a window covered in blinds that let very little sunlight in, a few chairs, and of course the hospital bed itself. Mountains of advanced medical equipment were set up on either side of my bed, and a heartbeat monitor beeped slowly, although the speed was growing.
Suddenly, I heard the voices again, and this time they were legible.
"Hush, he's awake: we need to make sure he's ready."
Huh? Ready for what?
Something that irked me was I felt strangely… free. I didn't feel the oppressive force of the implant in the back of my skull anymore, how it attempted to crush my will with every waking moment. I still couldn't speak: all that came out were animalistic noises, but I was free from the invasion of my mind for now.
"Give him some peace, Emilia, he just woke up from an implant attack; you know how traumatic they can be."
"We have to begin soon; my dissertation for this new technique is due in less than a week, and by law I need at least one more successful example for it to be deemed acceptable! Besides, he needs to go home soon anyway."
My heart sank. I would not go back to that place. I wouldn't let those people keep me like some kind of pet: I was a Russu; a member of a proud warrior race! I would not be reduced to some animal for the amusement of these humans!
Suddenly, I heard footsteps, and I tensed. The door creaked open and I spotted a younger human, a male I had never met before, in a lab outfit with his shoes, pants, shirt, and overcoat all bleached white and almost glistening. He eyed me warily, as he should, before he sauntered in, a tablet clipped at his side and a strange plastic container in both hands. I growled at him threateningly, extending my talons and raising my feathered hackles. The human paused for a microsecond before continuing forward, caution in his eyes, and right before he was within swiping range he opened the container and the most wonderful smell assaulted my nostrils.
Meat.
I was starving. I don't remember the last time I had eaten anything in particular: the implant had a terrible habit of causing me to go about my day in a hazy blur: entire lengths of time just… gone, whitewashed like a sheet of freshly decorated paper dunked in cold water. I knew something was there, or at least that something should have been there, but I mostly spent the days or weeks that I had been captured bobbing like an ocean buoy in a state of frustratingly bleary semi-consciousness.
But I'm awake now and mostly in control. Sure, some things were still missing everything was clear now, like my name: What was my name again? My name was Rocky. And now I knew that I needed to eat something, and if putting up with this human for now meant that I could fill my stomach, then I suppose that it was an acceptable sacrifice.
I salivated expectantly as the human lifted out a large piece of meat with his gloved hand, eyeing me humorously as he wiggled it. It was dark on the outside, but still dripping with blood and juices: humans had this weird habit of cooking their meats, and although it didn't taste bad at all cooked, nothing beat the feeling and flavor of tearing into raw flesh, the blood and the texture still fresh. At least this meat only seemed to be raw and not fully cooked.
I snapped up the piece of meat just as he lowered it enough for me to reach it. It was divine! It burst with flavor just as I bit into it, the juices spilling into my mouth. I quickly tore it apart with my strong jaws before snapping up another big piece with a beak-like protrusion at the tip of my snout. All the while, the human gently ran his fingers through my tightly-knit feathers and along my knobby, scaly hide. I made my annoyance with his touch clear, but he merely chuckled as if I wasn't an apex predator larger than him but rather simply a feisty hatchling.
"I know, I know, just relax. I need to perform a quick test to see if you're healthy before we continue."
Continue? Continue with what?
Just as the second piece of meat slid down my gullet, I eyed him with hostility and growled, but he quickly slipped something between the scales and feathers on my side and plunged it into my skin. Suddenly, I went rigid, and all the air was expelled from my lungs in an instant with a hoarse wheeze. The human merely chuckled and scratched under my chin as if nothing was wrong and my face wasn't frozen in horror.
"Good, that'll keep you occupied for a few seconds while I just slip this on…" he placed a breathing mask over my face and strapped it on before flicking a switch on a machine next to my bed. Then he released the plunger of the strange device on my side and I suddenly inhaled deeply and deflated like a balloon. I hissed under my breath, but suddenly panic filled my chest: I wasn't breathing just air. A cloyingly sweet-smelling gas coated the inside of my lungs, causing me to become dizzy. Suddenly, I was fully at their mercy again, blinking rapidly and my head spinning.
"Sorry about that, big guy, but we need to make sure you're passive before we begin the procedure." He said, almost apologetically, although there was a hint of mirth still detectable. "Sadly, you have to remain awake for some of it or I'd simply feed you more and then put you to sleep, but there are some benefits to this inhalant."
As if he summoned it with his words alone, my scales suddenly felt very… tingly. The human ran his hands across the scales at my side and I shivered from the feeling, like pain but better. Everything felt so warm and strange like I was floating on water, but also like I was being gently prodded by blades. Then, with panic rising in my chest, I suddenly felt a soft click as something was plugged into the neural port at the back of my skull that the humans had installed into my head when they had first captured me and placed me in that wretched facility some time ago.
"There you go, all prepped for the Doctor. She'll be here to begin the procedure in a bit." He said, "For now just relax and let the inhalants work their magic."
I whined quietly, and he rubbed the side of my head in an attempt to calm me which only made me more angry. I wasn't someone's pet! I wouldn't be treated like this!
I didn't want to go back to where I was before! I didn't want to become that sluggish, broken puppet again! I couldn't!
I tried to get up, to will my muscles to move, but I couldn't: my body refused to respond, as if I was paralyzed. But that wasn't right: I still could feel everything, especially the strange, mind-bending sensations the inhalants gave me.
##Initializing beginning phases of Neural Alteration Preparation##
Something else is wrong, I can feel it
##Assessing if the neural state is nominal for Alterations##
I can't let this happen, they're going to do something to me! I won't let them!
But nothing happened. I was at their mercy. It was over for good this time.
All those battles, all those tragedies and triumphs amongst my kin, only for me to be reduced to this? The plaything for a human?
##Query: is [Dr. Kalenghari] present to begin Neural Alterations?##
The door across the room opened again, and a human woman with light brown skin, chocolate brown eyes and long locks of black hair stepped in. She was holding a digi-pad in her hands and swiping up as if she was reading into something before she set it down on the counter across the room and gave me a warm, condescending smile.
"Well, how are we doing today, Rocky? I know, this predicament you have found yourself in must be very stressful, but I assure you that it's for your own good," She said, almost cheerfully, which sent shivers down my spine, "we're here to lift your burden, and we won't stop until you're capable of living the life of a happy, healthy, and well-behaved pet."
I whined under the mask, and the woman rubbed the feathered crest on my forehead. "I know, it hurts, but it'll be all over soon. It'll be like you, or at least this version of you, never existed. Just relax and close your eyes while we root around your brain and remove all those bad thoughts and silly delusions: I assure you, you won't feel a thing, and you'll feel much better afterward."
My heart raced and I began to panic internally, watching in horror as the woman stepped over to the medical console and tapped away for a few seconds before the machinery around me began to whir to life.
##Identification accepted: booting neurochemical firmware. Preparing for selective memory erasure.##
In an instant, my eyes involuntarily rolled back into my head as I felt the intrusive sensation of my mind being violated. It wasn't painful, but it was horrible all the same: it felt like a thousand black, slimy leeches were slithering through every crevice of my brain, leaving behind their cold, corruptive filth. The cold sensation seeped further into my brain, behind my eyes, and in my ears, enveloping every bit of it until there was nothing left.
##Relevant memories extracted for tailoring. Beginning total memory erasure.##
Suddenly, things just began to slip away: important memories, like the faces of my parents, the day of my initiation into the Corsair Collective, the face of my life mate, the birth of our hatchlings. I hoped that wherever they were, they were okay: if they never had to face the fate I would face, then maybe there would be some justice in this cruel, twisted galaxy. Maybe they could take the fight to humanity, remind them that they once had been the heroes of the cosmos, fighting against the cruelty of my people and the Triarchy at large. Maybe my hatchlings could live normal lives.
##Memory erasure process at 47%##
A single tear rolled down my scaly cheek as everything I once knew, everything that made me was torn from my mind and rendered null. Every second saw a million memories massacred, leaving the memories the implant had attempted to supplant my old memories with: Me playing fetch with my 'owners', chasing birds on the beach with my 'owner's' grandchildren, swimming in the pool in their backyard as steaks and bratwurst cooked on the grill, relaxing on the back porch and listening to the rasping calls of the katydids during humid summer evenings by the swamps. My psyche was being mutilated piece by piece, reduced to that of an animal, a pet.
##Memory erasure process at 64%##
Soon I had a hard time telling who I was anymore. I couldn't tell what was real or what wasn't, or what I actually felt. I couldn't even remember my own name anymore. Who was I? Why was I here? What was happening to me? I'm so scared, someone help me, please!
##Memory erasure process at 83%##
There was nothing left. I felt nothing. I knew nothing. I was floating in a void, with little flashes of light depicting events I didn't recognize. There were people I felt like I was supposed to know, but I didn't know them. A human woman with bright blue eyes and blonde hair. Two Russu hatchlings that looked a bit like me. A Russu female… my chest hurt for a moment but the feeling quickly subsided. I didn't know any of them.
##Memory erasure process completed. Implanting tailored memories and personality. Happy birthday, [Rocky]: you have been unburdened and reborn.##
In an instant, the confusion of who I was before was replaced with absolute certainty: I knew who I was now, who I always was:
I was Rocky, and I was a good boy. I belonged to Mr. And Mrs. Chen. I was their Russu hound. I loved them: they took care of me and let me play with their grandchildren. I swam in the pool and played outside every day. Life was good. Today was my birthday! That meant it would be a happy day! Mrs. Chen would always come home with a whole duck for me to eat and then take me to the Xenopet Comex for a bath and a spa day, just like my last birthday, and the birthday before that, and the birthday before that! It was a good life. I was happy. I was always happy. Good boys were always happy.
I was Rocky, and I was a good boy: that's all that mattered.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To Miguel O'Hara, Chief Medical Representative of the Protectorate Xenopet Acquisition and Integration Corporation, with the best of intentions.
The over-reliance on neural suppressant firmware programs along with thought scrubbing/replacement firmware programs and countermeasures towards higher thought and tainted thoughts with a relatively active hormonal reward structure can be incredibly effective when placed into the brain of a more passive Xenopets. However, Xenopets that come from more… difficult backgrounds such as one in a militant setting tend to be much more resistant to being reprogrammed by just an implant alone. The Russu are an excellent example of more tainted Xenos that need neurological care of much higher intensity, a level of care that the average Xenopet-Megaplex is ill-equipped to handle due to the current level of technology.
I am a firm believer in the idea that thought correction, a hormonal behavioral reinforcement structure, and neural countermeasures can have a place in the proper unburdening process but we have been chasing the wrong solution for the past century: Many people are under the misconception that the burden these Xenos carry is surface level when in reality the corruption runs far deeper: it is like a weed, with deep roots. To kill the weed permanently, you must rip out the roots, and not just the surface plant. If you do not eliminate the source of the problem, it may just return and worse still the mind may adapt to the standard unburdening process, allowing the xenopets to fall victim to those degenerate zealots who seek to pretend xenopets possess even the capacity for true sentience. We as Terrans should be united in this cause of unburdening the galaxy, but I digress.
The implants should be there to reinforce good behavior and stigmatize bad behavior, not completely reprogram the pet. To fully stamp out any potential for a relapse, we must remove the core issue that has the most potential to cause problems: their memories. The Russu are an excellent example
We are in the advanced testing stages of a new method that may revolutionize how we process and integrate xenopets into our society. By removing or modifying any and all problematic memories, we can completely remove the risk of relapse and make it nearly impossible for those misguided degenerate rebels to bring to the surface problematic ideas and memories that could reawaken a sense of false sentience. It is the perfect, final solution to our overarching goal: for humanity to unburden the galaxy, one happy pet at a time.
We hope to secure more funding from PXAIC that will greatly assist us in the expansion of the possibilities that this breakthrough technique can provide, more than just using it on board-approved fringe cases. Think about the many Xenopets we can unburden, and how they'll live happy and ignorant lives with their human owners! This could be a game changer, Representative, and I implore you to bring it before the board with the best of intentions.
Best regards,
Dr. Emilia Kalenghari, Head Researcher of the Epsilon Eridani Institute's Behavioral Neurology and Neurochemistry Division (BNND).

The day has arrived. I start stims tomorrow. I've made all the choices I can make, and now it's out of my control as to how the eggs fall(icle). I am worried about being emotional, and/or physically uncomfortable. Thankfully it's just 10-15 days. I can be uncomfortable for that amount of time. It's (hopefully) pregnancy prep.
I just needed to say this. This is effing crazy that I'm doing this. Follistim and Menopur...here's my skin!
Open to any advice you lovely people have, though I've been part of this sub for many months.
EDIT: First menopur shot this morning was almost a breeze!

So a friend of mine wants to learn taxidermy, and I was going to teach her onoce first. That's how I learned and seems the most simple.
I have a bag of frozen mice, but I'm afraid of I thaw it all out I'm not going to be able to use all of them before they "go bad". The mice are stuck to each other in the bag, so I can't remove just two or four.
Can I refreeze them? Or is it possible to skin and prep the hydes for later ? I'm guessing they would more than likely dry out and be more difficult to rehydrate them.
What would you do?

The year was 2013. Miley Cyrus was swinging around on a wrecking ball, Bilbo Baggins was dealing with an angry dragon, Barack Obama was freshly elected to a second term in office, and I was 16 years old. Fueled by energy drinks, emo music, and angst, I was heading into the summer before my junior year in high school.
That summer would hold all of the ordinary wonders of a kid growing up in Florida. I was mere weeks away from getting my driver’s license. Obviously this would mean unprecedented freedom for surfing, concerts, late night shenanigans with friends, and, in my mind at least, the ability to impress every woman in my vicinity who I was sure would be completely enamored with my new skills as a road warrior. Before I could get to those other teenage rights of passage, I had a trip to go on. You see, my status as a freshly minted 16 year old meant I was eligible to take part in my youth group’s annual mission trip to Costa Rica.
For several years I had been ragailed by older friends with stories of experiences in this foreign land, and slowly but surely I had been convinced that I, teen wonder, would be instrumental in the advancement and preaching of the Gospel of Jesus to the people of Central America. No other overly emotional spiritual high could compare, and it could be had for the low price of $2000! I saved my money, my parents contributed a large chunk, and “fundraising” (begging) letters sent to relatives snared me the rest. I was going. I would be joining a crew of roughly 20 other kids my age, and on this particular trip, my pastor, the elders of my church, and several deacons would be going down with us, no doubt only to spectate as the crew of miniature missionaries sent forth the gospel in a fashion no adult could facilitate. They weren’t just due for a vacation or anything.
To the uninitiated, a teenage mission trip is a glorified Vacation Bible School for large children. It just so happens to take place in a foreign country and be wrapped in the guise of grand advancement of the gospel. Sure you do some community service. You hand out food, and play with kids. In our case, we painted a playground that had been painted the week before. After all, pictures of our wonderful ministry work had to be taken to justify the cost of sending 20 walking balls of hormones and attitude to a foreign country for a week. We also had multiple music nights, and attended a church service held in a language none of us spoke. Because we were working so hard, we obviously required multiple "free days".
The first "free day" was enjoyable, if uneventful. We went to a covered market in the city of San Jose. There were loads of handmade items on sale, and we bought our share of souvenirs and gifts, but it is the second "free day" around which our story centers. We were to ride horses through a rainforest to a waterfall to go swimming. I had never ridden a horse, but as a human crash test dummy, I’ll try anything once. On the morning of the horse excursion we woke up early and traveled to the ranch on which our outing was to begin. This property was a functioning farm that grew pineapples, mangoes, and papayas, and we were treated to a breakfast of fresh produce. The pineapple and mango were delightful. The papaya was not. After we had had our fill, we headed for the barn at which we were to be given our horses.
We had been prepped for this outing by being told that these were trail horses. They would be trained to follow the horse-butt in front of them. The controls were simple. Pull left on the reins to go left. Pull right to go right. Pull back to stop. Kick to accelerate. This sounded simple enough. I was given a helmet, and, much to my chagrin, told I must wear it. This was obviously not up to my standards of coolness, you see. Then they started giving out the horses. One by one I watched my friends get helped onto their mounts. Finally it was my turn. When they showed me to my horse, I was floored. It was large, significantly larger than the others. It was also solid white from nose to tail, and exceedingly beautiful. I decided that no matter what happened before or after, in that moment I was cool. I was the lone ranger, and the people handing out the gear had simply made the mistake of forgetting to give me my black hat and six guns.
The illusion of coolness came crashing down hard before I even left the barn. You see, I had been told how to command the horse. I had not counted on this being an exceedingly large animal that had ideas of its own. I kicked, and it went backwards. I pulled on the reins, and it went forward. Left and right weren't concepts that seemed familiar to this horse either. After a minute or two of struggle, and me whispering to it something along the lines of “come on dude there are girls watching”, the horse finally and grudgingly decided to go the way I wanted it to.
With the first hurdle conquered, I was no more than a hundred yards from the barn when I encountered a second: a metal bridge. We had been warned to go over the bridge one at a time. The noise of multiple sets of hooves clopping on the bridge could spook the horses. Whoever was behind me missed that memo. I was halfway across the bridge when I heard the sound of loud clippity clopping coming from behind me. I didn’t have time to contemplate the breach of etiquette occurring behind me because my horse had decided world war three had begun behind us, and fleeing the battle was the only course of action. Whether or not I came with it on this great escape seemed unimportant to it at that moment. It was then that I learned horses can go from zero to sixty faster than most sports cars. I was waving off of the back of that animal like a skinny white flag. As I passed friends, elders, and deacons, every obscenity I’d ever heard was escaping my mouth with absolutely no conscious control. Surely they must have thought it was odd that that horse was cursing loudly with that strange looking flag attached to it. At the front of our merry group of travelers, my horse decided we were a suitable distance from the war, and running was no longer necessary. I had managed to stay on the horse. As I took stock of the situation and came to the realization that I was, in fact, not dead, I also became aware that my horse had sidled up to one of the elders of my church who immediately turned and said, “Wow! I had no idea you were so good with horses.” I was still too terrified to produce words to rebut this impression.
The trail continued. We made it a good half mile without incident. I was chatting with friends, and while the shock of my experience subsided, I started noticing the beauty of the area we were riding through. We were in a clearing near the edge of the rainforest. High grass surrounded us, and a thick canopy of trees lay in front. However, all good things must come to an end, as my horse once again decided it was unhappy. This time I was the problem. I had seen people ride bucking broncos before and wondered what it must be like to be in that situation. It was evidently time for another learning experience. Everything seemed alright. Then I was in the spin cycle. Then my ass hurt. I was miraculously still on the horse.
Even the human crash test dummy has limits, and two near-death experiences were enough for one day. One of the leaders of the group had seen the bucking incident and offered to trade horses with me. I enthusiastically agreed. Seeing the leader, an experienced horseman, struggle with my previous mount vindicated me slightly. My new horse was the polar opposite of my previous one. This new horse was old, slow, and short. I’m sure my feet were only 6 inches off the ground as I rode. However, he listened to commands and seemed like a kind old man content to trot along at whatever pace took my fancy. I was too busy with matters of life and death to give my first horse a name, but I decided to call this new horse Larry.
Over the course of the hour that followed, Larry carried me safely to the waterfall where we were to go swimming, and with my undying gratitude, he did so without incident. We all stripped down to our bathing suits and gleefully took to the water. There were toucans and lemurs in the trees above us as we swam and splashed. Next to the river were a series of gazebos and picnic tables. Nearby someone had fashioned a swimming pool and waterslide entirely out of concrete and smooth rock that were being fed by the water from the river. The human crash test dummy was back in fighting form at this point, so I was the first down the slide. Somehow on my dismount from said slide, I managed to scrape all of the skin off of the bottoms of my feet. While I was climbing out of the water to survey the damage to my lower extremities, a friend went down the slide behind me, smacked his head against the side of the slide, and slid unconscious into the pool below. Thankfully, another youth was right by the exit of the slide and was able to rescue the unconscious boy immediately. It took him a few minutes to remember who was president and what year it was, but after half an hour or so, he returned to normal cognitive function. Though I didn't envy the headache he had for the rest of the day.
Finally, the time came to head back to the barn in which our journey began. It had started to rain, and it was decided we would be driven back to the barn in vans instead of riding the horses. Despite my abiding appreciation for Larry, I was perfectly happy to avoid any further equestrian disasters and get into an automobile. The horses were collected and taken back separately. The trip back to the barn was quick, and once back we were informed that the locals wanted to put on a rodeo for us. A Costa Rican rodeo seemed an odd proposition, but we were there, so why not?
Out came the various riders, and about ten minutes into the festivities they started barrel racing. Suddenly out of the chute came a large, beautiful, solid white horse, my horse. The realization hit me. I had been given a barrel racing horse, and he seemed only barely more obedient to his usual rider than he was to me. It was then that my first horse got his name: El Caballo Del Diablo.

(Chelating agents are things that help remove metal and minerals from the hair faster)
I am working on building a mental list of pros and cons of various chelating options, so we can add it to our wiki. Can you help? Do you have any additions or corrections to my list below? Most of my personal experimentation has been in the category of oily chelating so I will definitely need help filling it out more completely. A lot of this is from memory reading about other people's tests, so it might need corrections.

Water-Soluble Chelating

Pros

• No oil, yay!
• If there is a lot of buildup, then water soluble chelating will probably smell much more neutral than oil chelating (although vinegar is one very strong-smelling exception to that).

Cons

• Requires owning pH test strips.
• Worst case scenario is quite bad (mixing the wrong pH can potentially damage hair or skin.)
• Watery, runny recipes can spread easily to skin or surroundings, and this spread is potentially irritating to skin or eyes, or damaging to metal surroundings.
• Chemical reaction only continues while the hair is wet, which is not much time.
• Some people dislike having wet hair, especially if it needs to be repetitively wet.

Oil Chelating

Pros

• No need to be wet, yay! (except when shampooing out the oil.)
• Skin or hair damage is unlikely.
• Chelating can continue for much longer periods of time, if one is willing to have oily hair for long periods of time, and if one is good at slowing down the transfer of oil out of the hair.
• Also removes a variety of other surfactant-resistant things like adhesive or synthetic fragrance; this can be helpful for some people who are allergic to surfactant-resistant things.

Cons

• If there is a lot of buildup then oil chelating will probably smell worse than water soluble chelating. The smell improves greatly when buildup is almost gone, but most people aren't there yet.
• Oil can spread easily to skin or surroundings, and this spread can cause body acne or allergic reactions or eye irritation, or damage to metal surroundings.
• Some people dislike having oily hair, especially if it's for an extended period of time.
• The unpleasantness of oily hair is greater when there is a lot of buildup, making this strategy more unpleasant in the moments when it might be most helpful.
• Some oils are comedogenic.
• Some oils can cause skin microbiome imbalances.
• Some oils are not compatible with tap water body washing (comedogenic if tap water is used on the skin)
• Fast-spreading oils might damage household items that contain metal or minerals or plastic or glue.

Vinegar

a water soluble chelating agent
Pros

• Easy to find at the grocery store
• Easy to mix a safe pH even if concentration varies quite a lot - especially when using apple cider vinegar, which is a milder acid than other types of vinegar.

Cons

• Can be difficult to keep it out of the eyes, and it burns the eyes.
• Smell might be intolerable to some people.
• Smell is at best similar to salad dressing! But it could be even worse than that.
• Smell might be worse if there's a lot of buildup, which can prevent this from being useful in the moment when it's most likely to help.

Citric acid

a water-soluble, acidic chelating agent
Pros

• Easy to find on Amazon
• Not much is needed per use, so the cost per use is quite low
• Neutral smell

Cons

• Easy to mix the wrong pH because it is VERY acidic even in small amounts. We had reports of skin burning when it's mixed too concentrated.
• Some have expressed doubt about whether or not citric acid can do much when it's diluted a lot.

Ascorbic acid

a water soluble, acidic chelating agent
Pros

• ???

Cons

• ???

I don't remember reading any reviews of this one yet, but it is the main ingredient in Malibu C hard water treatment packets, so it might be worth a try if anyone is willing to experiment.

Disodium EDTA

a water-soluble, acidic chelating agent
Pros

• Easy to find on Amazon.
• Does "double handed" chelating (where is u/ducky_queen when we need her? I don't remember what this means but I do remember she said it and I remember that it was good😅)
• Easy to mix a safe pH if this is the only ingredient, because the pH of disodium EDTA plus water will land in the 4 to 6 range with almost any concentration.
• Mild and tolerable smell, it has been described as "slightly spicy."

Cons

• Disodium EDTA might work best in an alkaline recipe, which some people might not want in their hair.
• Both people who tested disodium EDTA in this sub seemed to dislike it when it was used in an alkaline recipe.

Human sebum and sweat

A very mild oily chelating agent that is also partially water-soluble (not fully water-soluble)
Pros

• It's free
• Almost zero effort (maybe just some brushing to move it through the hair)
• Steady supply
• Safe pH

Cons

• Like many oily chelating agents, it can cause unpleasant smells if there is a lot of mineral and metal buildup for it to react with. Depending on location it might smell chalky, rocky, or metallic while it reacts with hard water buildup.
• It works very slowly (taking weeks to break down buildup) and it might be impractical for many people to look oily and smell unpleasant for such a long period of time.
• If there is ongoing metal or mineral exposure then human sebum might be too slow to win the war against buildup, and that can feel very unpleasant if the war is being fought but not won.

Lanolin/sheep sebum

An oily chelating agent that is also partially water-soluble (not fully water-soluble)
Pros

• Works faster than human sebum
• Appears to be able to react with more types of buildup than human sebum.
• Safe pH when mixed with water in any concentration.

Cons

• Hellish learning curve.
• Too many choices about what type of lanolin to buy and they all seem to behave differently in the hair.
• Can't be used for chelating straight out of the container; requires stovetop/blender prep to mix it with water, then refrigeration and straining to remove waxy solids
• Requires special surfactants to remove it from hair if prep wasn't done perfectly. Almost all shampoos are useless against lanolin waxy solids.
• Requires steaming the hair after application to turn the lanolin soft instead of sticky.
• Overall it is too much of a pain in the butt for most people.
• Very unpleasant musky-barnyard smell if there is a lot of buildup for it to react with (but neutral or even pleasant if there is almost no buildup).
• Can destroy brushes by dissolving plastic balls.
• Might not be appealing to vegans to use an animal-based product.

Coconut oil

An oily chelating agent
Pros

• Easy to find at grocery store
• Very little learning curve...optionally melt it, and use it as a pre-shampoo hair soak.
• Penetrates hair deeply to reach deeply embedded mineral deposits.

Cons

• Very unpleasant rancid oil smell if there is a lot of buildup for it to react with (but neutral or coconutty if there is almost no buildup).
• Highly comedogenic on face, neck, chest, or back - especially when combined with tap water body washing.
• Might still be comedogenic for some people even in the absence of tap water, because lauric acid can feed fungal acne.
• Can be difficult to shampoo out because it penetrates the hair deeper than shampoo.
• Can destroy brushes by dissolving brush glue or plastic balls.
• Several people mentioned sensory issues with the strange feeling of coconut oil on skin, even people who normally like oil.
• Several people reported increased itching.

C8 MCT oil

An oily chelating agent
Pros

• Easy to find on Amazon.
• Works dramatically faster than other oily chelating agents, which means less time being oily.
• Penetrates hair deeply to reach deeply embedded mineral/metal deposits.
• Can help resolve body acne when it's combined with distilled water body washing - especially if it was fungal acne.
• Zero lauric acid = doesn't feed fungal acne at all like coconut oil does.
• Many people in sebderm report that this specific oil helps resolve their seborrheic dermatitis.

Cons

• We had reports that it is either highly reactive with buildup, or totally unreactive, depending on location.
• Highly comedogenic if combined with tap water body washing (it turns mineral and metal buildup into large, solid clumps - deep inside pores if tap water has left minerals and metal deep in the pores - resulting in a rocky skin purge if there's no new supply of mineral and metals, but ongoing pore clogs when there is a steady supply of new minerals and metal from tap water)
• Very unpleasant "sweaty coin" smell if there is a lot of buildup for it to react with (but neutral or even pleasant if there is almost no buildup).
• Expensive per ounce.
• Expensive oils are sometimes diluted with cheaper oils to make more money, if there is no 3rd party enforcing accurate labeling. How can we be sure that it's pure?
• Spreads very aggressively and reacts negatively with household surroundings (we had reports of damage to marble countertops, metal musical instruments, metal jewelry, etc)
• Difficult to get it working in the same lifestyle with metal (musical instruments, electrical work, home improvement projects etc) because it spreads to surroundings so easily and reacts so strongly to metal.
• Very quickly destroys hairbrushes by dissolving both plastic balls and bristle glue.
• Can be difficult to shampoo out because it penetrates the hair so deeply.
• At least one user reported strong allergic reactions to the oxidized metal that MCT C8 oil moved out of the hair onto the skin - even though she had only a mild metal allergy, and even though she was not allergic to C8 oil. Patch testing should consider this possibility.

(Small note: This was originally slated for DnDGreentext before the sub got nuked, and therefore was originally in Greentext format. Had to do some serious reformatting to get it ready for this sub, so it's been sitting in my Drafts for a hot minute. If there are any errors/Format corrections that need to be made I'll get to it in a day or so as it's currently around Midnight)
(Edit: Yes, this post is very long, and yes, it goes into a lot of detail. It’s intentionally written that way to cover pretty much the entire session, and subsequently show how often That Girl would interject with her myriad of shenanigans. Some of y’all may think it’s fake or a fanfic as a result, and as much as I wish it were that simple, this is unfortunately a true event.)
Context: Friend of mine wanted to get into DMing, so she offers to run a one-shot. Being new to the system and to being a DM in general, not too many people show interest, so myself and my GF both decide to join for a grand total of four players. The setting is a Dino-themed island that's basically like Pokemon, where everyone has a dinosaur companion to help them do things. Stuff like a Police force that rides on Pterosaurs (Yes, I'm aware they're not technically dinosaurs, shut up) to farmers that have Triceratops to pull their plows, that sort of thing. DM asks for humans only, but I ask about playing a Warforged. She actually has an in-world explanation for how Warforged would be in the world, so she approves the idea. She also has her own ideas on how Magic works in the world, as it's not inherent, so nobody starts the game with spells. She also has each of us pick a dinosaur to have as a companion of sorts that will get introduced later in the story.
Enter That Girl and New Guy.
I'm playing a Warforged Artificer. That Girl (Warlock), New Guy (Rogue), and GF (Ranger) all meet up in Discord with the DM, and we're off. The session starts on a ship. Due to myself and GF's backstories, only That Girl and New Guy are present at the time. They're essentially mid-victorian era humans on a cruise when a storm begins to brew. New Guy looks around for one of the deckhands to ask what's going on and where the location of the life rafts are if need be. Pretty sensible. That Girl (who had never met this character before) suddenly appears next to him and starts berating the guy for asking about the lifeboats, "Because it would send people in a panic!"
New Guy is naturally confused, because there's a fucking storm brewing and people were probably already panicking regardless if he mentioned lifeboats or not. That Girl cuts him off both in and out of character (literally going "I put my hand in his face and make him stop talking") to continue chewing him out for no reason.
New Guy literally cannot get a word in as That Girl is harping on and on about "think of the people, you can't say those things!" This goes on for 15 actual minutes. Eventually the DM must've got tired of hearing this one-sided nonsense, so she just has the storm capsize the boat and the two players are lost at sea.
DM describes the water as cold and dark, starts to describe what they feel in response before That Girl immediately pipes up with "I cast light!"
DM: "1. Light requires verbal components, and you're underwater. You can't speak. 2. Magic isn't inherent to you, so you don't have access to it yet." The DM has them both wash up on the shore and awaken about an hour later. She then describes the beach and the things they can see. There's a jungle that's further in, and a strange green object lying on the beach. My character is green, so naturally I start looking over my sheet, getting my voice modifier ready, doing all the prep work for introduction.
DM describes the two of them finding a pair of glowing stones/crystals that emit some strange type of energy. DM also goes into painstaking detail that the green object reacts to the stones whenever they get brought close. New Guy tries to get his bearings, and That Girl starts arguing with him about his plan, and that they should *obviously* try to look for civilization (Which he was already planning on doing, but in order for that to happen you kinda have to already have an idea of where you are.)
Cue *Another* fifteen minutes of actual time spent ranting, all the time the two of them are walking past the green object over and over again. DM eventually just describes that they get close enough to object for it to animate slightly, and asks me to introduce myself. Immediately grab stone from one of them, pry open the top of my head, and insert it to fully power on. After *45 whole minutes of IRL time,* Player 3 enters the game.
Since I essentially wanted to make a robot with all kinds of integrated gadgets I rolled up an Armorer Artificer that was true neutral, since his entire gimmick was essentially going to be that he was super agreeable to pretty much anything that wasn't obviously self-destructive or outright evil. I describe myself powering up and looking over the other two, getting introductions all around. Finally, we might actually make some headway.
They ask me if I know anything about the weird crystals. I confirm my knowledge with the DM before letting them know that they're essentially power sources that were used in my character's home. (DM essentially told me that I was an Atlantian Strider and Atlantis was an advanced civilization before it sunk, and produced a bunch of crystals like the ones we were using. Actually pretty cool concept)
New Girl had cut her leg at some point during the storm, so my character heals her up, and explains that the crystals can exhibit strange powers when wielded by various creatures, which only made them more rare. (Dm confirmed they were essentially focuses that enabled spellcasting). Dm Describes sounds coming from the jungle, and That Girl starts vocally debating whether we should go in or not.
Before this can turn into *ANOTHER* fifteen minute rant, I say my character immediately starts walking into the jungle to find the noise, and New Guy decides to follow. That Girl follows along and the DM describes a large shadow in the distance. I try to walk closer, the DM describes the shadow moving away. This goes on for a few seconds or so before I just decide to cast Light, illuminating the area around me and revealing...
A T-Rex. That Girl immediately freaks, New Guy is intrigued, and I'm basically the only one that noticed a woman was riding it in a saddle. The woman introduces herself and tells us that it's usually rare for people to wash up on the shores, but not entirely unheard of. Decides to lead us to her caravan heading into the main city.
That Girl is immediately firing off questions, not even letting her get a word in before asking a new one. This goes on for some time before we eventually get led to a surplus wagon with spare equipment we can use.
We fall into the caravan and finally, FINALLY GF gets to introduce her character as she rides up to meet us... After an hour and a half of IRL time. Anyways, GF's character was native to the island and essentially worked as a caravan guard, and decided to join our odd group as a sort of Chaperone. My character is chumming it up with a few NPC's, looking over equipment, asking about their culture, that kind of thing. We eventually make it to the city where we register our characters to the city's ledger.
As we finish up, we hear a bunch of noise outside, kind of like a parade. We go to check it out and essentially see a guy on a palanquin being toted around by Dinosaurs, going on about how he's "Going to bring glory to the island by breaking through to the rest of the world." The Dm basically put a giant "This is the big bad" sign over his head.
That Girl asks what she knows about this guy (Which is probably the first time she's actually asked if she was capable of doing something instead of just loudly narrating that she does it). DM says that this guy was actually native to her home, so she knows *OF* him. Keyword being "OF." That Girl begins narrating how much she hates this guy and describes herself as "Accidentally" casting Sacred Flame on him.
Naturally this gets his attention, but he can't really pick out the perpetrator from the crowd. The DM was essentially throwing That Girl a bone, and you figured she'd get the hint but NOPE.avi. That Girl then describes herself as stepping out *INTO THE STREET* and loudly detesting the guy, describing herself as "Always knowing he was a coward, ever since they were kids!" Again, That Girl was told she had CURSORY KNOWLEDGE of this guy and she proceeds to try and make him an integral part of her character.
She tries to fight him, and basically only gets one Eldritch Blast off before he blasts her to the ground with Thunderwave and climbs back into the palanquin because this idiot wasn't worth his time. That Girl gets up and angrily tries to convince the people to rally against him. Naturally she put no proficiency into Persuasion or Deception, so the most she gets are a bunch of people staring at the crazy ranting girl firing off cthulu beams at people for no reason.
My character finally steps up and mentions that if the island was separated from the rest of the world, there was probably good reason for it to be that way. My background was Far Traveler so I had "All Eyes on Me" as a feature, which made people naturally more inclined to listen to me since I was a weird six-foot-one round robot. A few of them recognized me as an Atlantian Strider, which helped my words stick.
This was a common thing in this game, with That Girl loudly announcing that she was going to do something, fucking it up due to a fundamental misunderstanding as to how things worked, and my character picking up the slack and actually doing it. Small reminder: I had no idea what That Girl's character was going to be, her spell list, stat layout, none of it. My character just so happened to be better than her at pretty much everything. Never said it in-game, but silently I was actually enjoying getting to one-up her constant attention hogging.
So, naturally, after one of our members decided to attempt political assassination, we decided that it was best to camp out innawoods for the night. GF was our Ranger, so she was able to find a suitable spot for us. That Girl says she goes to start a fire with Sacred Flame, DM tells her that Sacred Flame isn't actually fire, but Radiance, so it wouldn't work. I immediately start an *actual* campfire using Fire bolt.
That Girl is sulking around, loudly proclaiming that she can't do anything, the remaining three of us do some RP. The DM admits that she's kind of at a loss for what to do, since she was expecting us to stay in the city, y'know, before That Girl tried to JFK the big bad. That's no problem, we'll just keep roleplaying while she thinks of how to continue the story.
That girl immediately wanders over to a cave and goes "I know! I walk over to this cave, and THIS THING walks out!" Before pulling out the token for her Dino companion and plopping it on the map. DM finally puts her foot down and says "No, that doesn't happen. I just Pmed you something, and need you to read it."
None of us knew what the DM sent to her, but we all figured it was something along the lines of "Quit hogging all the attention and trying to dictate the story. This is a group game." A few minutes later That Girl comes back and gives a halfhearted apology and explained that "She wasn't trying to hog all the attention or be the main character, she was just excited." Most of us don't really feel it's sincere but whatever, if the DM has a reign on her then let's get the ball rolling again. The DM then comes out and says that it's *My* Dino companion that comes out of the cave, a little Compsognathus. Immediately I'm bonded to this thing because it's adorable and it seems to get along nicely with me.
The new guy jokingly asks if I have a name for it, I reply "Not Yet." New Guy: "Not Yet? That's a funny name for a pet." And thus my companion was named NotYet, all one word.
The Dm sends us off to another region of the island that's full of canyons, mesas, cliffs, that sort've thing. It's where the Pterosaur Police are mainly stationed. Coincidentally, That Girl's companion was also a pterosaur. We're walking along one of the cliffs when New Guy mentions how far of a drop it is. He asks me if I know how far it actually goes down. I make an estimate of about 600 feet or so (It was actually closer to 700, but still) and he jokingly tells me I should jump down to make sure. I yeet myself over the edge, That Girl immediately tries to say "I stop him before he jumps! Can we go back in time? That didn't really happen, did it?" Girl, I weigh like 220 pounds of green steel and you weigh like 110 soaking wet. With a negative STR modifier to boot. If you try to stop me you're going over too.
I let the party freak out for a few more seconds before I cast Slow Fall and describe myself as activating tiny propulsion systems to slow my descent. I reach the bottom of the canyon, note that the actual distance is more like 700 meters, and look back up to them before I prepare to climb out with Spider Climb. Before I do, the DM basically has the Pterosaur police show up because they just watched a guy yeet himself into the canyon and wanted to make sure he was okay. They offer me a ride back up and I accept.
We eventually make it to the town of this region with a little cash to spend on things. I ask around to see if I can get a shield, DM explains that there usually isn't a lot of combat on the island, so shields were usually uncommon. No problem, I can work with what I have. That Girl immediately describes herself, and I quote, as "Buying a new set of clothes and walking out in a skin tight red and black flight suit."
You can't make this shit up.
We eventually make it to a Pterosaur gathering place, where those that would bond to them take part in a ritual. The whole "You don't choose your partner, they choose you" straight out of James Cameron's Avatar. That Girl is finally about to get her partner, and one of the NPC's essentially says "To bond with them is a leap of faith." So naturally, her first instinct is to jump off the cliff.
The DM is surprised but decides to roll with it, getting ready to describe her partner swooping in to save her, but after realizing that "Leap of Faith" was not literal, That Girl immediately changes her mind and begs for the DM to undo the last 12 seconds so she can just bond to them normally. Dm relents. That Girl is excitedly going on about her new mount/partner and fangirling so much that she misses the plot hook. Big bad had recently come through here and took a lot of the funding, mentioning that he was headed to another region.
New Guy gets his companion as we travel, a raptor, and GF already had hers, an Allosaurus which served as her mount. So we finally have the full party, companions included. We camp out for the night, the DM allows us to level up to Six. (We started at level 5) We make preparations to enter the next region, which was basically a heavy forest area. We pass through another small town, and I ask the DM if I couldn't *Buy* a shield, could I possibly make one from spare material? The Dm agrees, says there's enough scrap metal around for me to make something like a shield, so I roll my Smith's Tools. A nat 20 + Tool Expertise, + an INT modifier of 4 gives me a total of 30 on the check. The most flawless shield ever created by a living being, practically equal to God-quality is made by my funky metal man. Immediately infuse it with Repulsion Shield for that sweet extra AC (The DM handwaved the necessity to wait for a long rest to infuse it since it was a oneshot).
The party moves along into the forest region as we follow the next clue. As we're moving along, we hear someone crying for help. Look into a clearing and we see a man with a bloody leg lying on the ground. Nothing else is around him at all, which is just... strange. Guy like him would be easy meat in the middle of a Dino Jungle. A more obvious ambush could not be telegraphed.
The Ranger (GF) and Rogue (New Guy) were being cautious, trying to to see if there was any signs of the person or creature that attacked him, That Girl is loudly asking what they should be doing, and I just walk out into the middle of the clearing to cast Cure Wounds on the guy. That Girl, not to be outdone, immediately runs up next to me to do the same. She was running Celestial Warlock so she could've probably healed him from cover, but okay.
Immediately a T-rex charges at both of us. Spends one attack slashing at me with it's hind claws, which actually gets through my 20 AC. I immediately react to use Repulsion Shield, blasting it backwards, and the T-Rex decides to go for the much squishier target and crits the shit out of That Girl. It deals enough damage to nearly outright kill her. Obviously she's sent unconscious. I'm rolling my eyes and spend another spell slot to Cure Wounds her back up.
That Girl basically summons her mount (the same one she wouldn't stop fangirling over and exclaiming how useful and wonderful of a companion it was) and proceeds to use it like a meatshield while me and the other two members do all the work to drive it off. We manage to save the guy and he tells us that the wildlife has been acting strangely ever since Big Bad came through the region, get told that he's essentially headed back to the capital city.
We hitch a ride on a river raft that fast tracks us back to the capital, preparing to go to the city council to tell them that the bad guy was up to something. My GF goes into prepared speech about how much she loves her home and doesn't want to see it ravaged or cause harm by suddenly connecting it back to the rest of the world.
That Girl immediately launches into speech of her own that's twice as long and conveyed about a fourth as much information, basically repeats all the points that GF made, sometimes multiple. (I'm pretty sure she mentioned "grandstanding" at least five times. Ironic.) The DM eventually has to cut her off to point out that there's a skeleton in the room, literally. One of the Council members had essentially been instant-aged into a mummy. And That Girl had been ranting for about 5 straight minutes before noticing.
Granted, GF had done a speech too and was naturally a little embarrassed about going into a diatribe without checking the room first, but at least hers was concise. We learn that Big Bad had gone to the Town Square to do some Big Bad stuff, and we rolled up to stop him. Fight Begins, and That Girl immediately hops on her mount, flying around and blasting him from the air. I'm up front, tanking for my little companion, GF and New Guy are off to the sides picking at the minions, three T-Rexes that he had with him.
That Girl is essentially taunting Big bad that he can't hit her from up here, flying back and forth the whole time. The Big Bad is sick of her shit and casts Earthbind. That Girl goes from smarmy asshole to shitting her pants in about 0.2 seconds. Everyone else is stuck with a T-rex (Except me, because I managed to kill the one I was fighting but was too far away to help)
Big Bad starts blasting her and her mount, while she's desperately trying to find some way to cast more spells, use more actions, anything. She deadass asks at one point: "If I sacrifice all my movement and bonus actions can I take another action?" Never in my life have I wanted to play Fighter more than in that moment.
I eventually make my way over and start blasting with Fire Bolt. Big Bad takes notice and flings attacks my way. I avoid most of them, but one of them hits my partner. Up until this point, my character's signature catchphrase had been "Okay!" To basically anything. "Hey, jump off this cliff." "Okay!" "Can you heal me?" "Okay!" "Take the night watch." "Okay!" But now his partner was hurt. I Drop my voicemod by a few octaves.
"NOT. OKAY."
I Blast him with magic Missile. The fight between us breaks out on some Duel of the Fates type shit. Spells are being cast, weapons are being thrown, strategies being devised. Eventually, our group manages to consolidate and we manage to bring him down. He's not dead, but laid out on the floor.
We go through his shit, and loot his sword, which has a single Wish spell, which was inactive until it was joined with a second Mcguffin we had picked up. He also had an Elixir of Health on him, which was good for That Girl's backstory, since the reason she was on the cruise at all was to see if she could find a cure for her sister's unknown disease. Somehow, this isn't enough for That Girl. She wants to cast some homebrew spell that makes him reveal an embarrassing secret so she can spread it to the world or whatever. Most of us had checked out of her shenanigans at this point and were just trying to finish the game.
The DM actually decides to roll with it, and instead of an embarrassing secret, she decides to tell us his backstory. Essentially this guy was getting Benjamin Buttoned. At some point in his life, he was cursed to begin aging backwards, and essentially had to Time Vampire other people to sustain himself. He watched his original family die, same with others he'd gained throughout his unnatural lifespan. More than anything, he just wanted his suffering to be over.
So my friendly, true neutral Warforged, in a somber voice, simply replies: "Okay..."
I firebolt him three times, basically turning him into a solo funeral pyre. The characters all bow their heads in silence. Seems like That Girl finally got a grasp on how to- "WAIT WAIT I WAS MUTED GUYS GO BACK GO BACK DON'T KILL HIM!"
Goddamnit.
We go back and she loudly goes over how she's taking the Elixir of Health and offering it to him for... some reason? She's literally been beefing with this guy the whole game and suddenly she wants to forsake her sister to save him? I start to point out that diseases and curses are different and she cuts me off, going "LET ME FINISH!"
I think *long* and *hard* about whether I should be an asshole and just letting her waste it on him, but against my better judgement, I decide, once again, to tell her that using it on him would be a waste, since a Curse is not the same thing as a Disease.
Eventually we combine the sword and the Mcguffin to cast Wish and open a portal for That Girl and New Guy to go home. She offers a letter to GF and narrates that GF opens and reads it. GF has none of that and says she doesn't read it and haphazardly waves her off through the portal. The DM has a short epilogue where That Girl travels back with her now-cured sister.
That Girl starts to go onto another speech about how amazing this place was and how she was such wonderful friends with us. I cut her off, simply saying "I barely know you. And I like (Gf's character) better." The session ends, and we talk about the highs and lows.
We tell DM our honest opinion about her style, essentially saying that for a one-shot especially, don't be afraid to nudge your players, because sometimes it's hard to pick a direction and go.
We tell That Girl *gently* that she needs to realize this is a team game, and that she's not *THE* main character. Insert sputtering about "W-well my friend is a DM and I hang out with him often and I guess since I couldn't really *pick a direction* (Yeah, she used my exact words here, which came damn close to setting me off since she was clearly pulling this explanation out her ass) I just kind of tried to control the story so we could move again." I *very firmly* tell her that controlling the story isn't her job, and to leave that to the DM.
A few weeks later in another group chat, I vented about the session and everyone confirmed that she single-handedly was the biggest problem with that game in particular. I learned from other friends that this isn't her first time pulling this shit either. All of us silently agreed to not invite her back
TL;DR: Loudmouth player thinks she’s the main character of a oneshot, fails at practically everything she tries to accomplish, and is silently dropped from other games as a result.