I am so happy i start the new life poems

Hi! English isn't my first language so sorry for any mistakes.
So I rescued two cats from the street, most likely sisters, back in August last year. They were like, 2 months old maybe? At least that's what the vet said. One of them, Chiara (on the photos) was sick with this eyes and nose thingy, don't remember what it's called in english. After couple visits everything was good.
I fed them dry kitten kibble, because well I am not rich by any means and sometimes I literally starve for couple of days to buy them better quality food. But the reality is - shelters are packed and they straight up refuse to take cats in my area, so I figured it's better to take them rather than letting them die out there. And it's good (I hope?) quality kibble - Wiejska Zagroda and later Carnilove. So not the best of the best, I know, but they're really not bad either. In February I even started mixed feeding (half wet, half dry) in fear of kidney problems later in life. Quality varies, but it's always something sugar-free and grain-free.
Chiara is active, even more than I would like lol - jumping on everything in the house, literally everything high enough to be worth it. She sprints like cats version of Lightning McQueen and playfully wrestle other cats like her life depends on it. On walks even any flying bugs aren't safe as she'll just jump like a frickin kangaroo to get them.
Anyway the second cat grew bigger over these months, she is 3,150 kg. While Chiara is only 2,250 kg December 17 - 2,150 kg January 13 - 2150 kg March 26 - 2,200 kg April 28 - 2,300 kg And today - 2,250 kg
My vet while being okayish, just dissmises me and doesn't check anything. Just tells me "We will see, come when something is wrong". As if it's not better to prevent something rather than wait for it to be completely broken and it's driving me crazyyy. But he is the only vet in my area and right now I don't really have the money to travel to someone else. Well, I don't even have a car so there's that.
Is it okay for her to be so small and I'm just paranoid or should I find a way to go to someone else? I have never had a cat so small as her but she behaves like any other cat and eat as much as her sister.

I've had this bike for a few years bought it second hand for 1000 and been using it as my main transport to and from work during which its been parked on the street all that time. Mechanically its fine, a bit of surface rust (live by the ocean) but it works well but it was starting to get weathered.
I recently moved into my first home and it has a shared underground garage. So I decided to clean the bike i best I can and started buying a few bits and pieces to make it looks nicer.
I've revived the faded plastics, removed as much surface rust from the headers as possible, cleaned the upper forks up (which were slighty pitted with rust) and bought covers for them to protect it.
On order I have new levers, faux leather seat cover and 2nd hand replacement lower frame covers in black because I hate the silver ones (my bike is black). In my basket i have a belly pan, a tail tidy and black handle bars and I'm looking to change the headlight and add a windscreen.
I'm really enjoying the process but its starting to get addictive, like I'm dreaming about the parts arriving and installing them.
Question I have though, with it being such an old bike should I even bother? Its doesn't even have ABS. Am I wasting money and am I better off saving for a newer bike?

In most relationships, the last thing a couple intends to do is part ways with their partner. After making an in-depth decision, taking numerous risks, and asking yourself tough questions about your feelings and how you two plan your future together, who would have wanted to break up? As most couples do, they've had highs and lows in their relationship. However, if the worst were to happen, their bond may shatter, and they would go completely separate ways. The most devastating period after a breakup is the morning after—well, given my experience. You can literally feel the emptiness in your soul, and as the day passes, you'll gradually feel the heaviness of the way the thought that it's over finally sinks in.
I have an ex-girlfriend whom I shouldn't name. We were blockmates, and she was the first friend I made before attending college. We shared comparable viewpoints and sentiments even before we developed a deeper connection. And I knew. When I first saw her, I knew she was going to be mine. I liked her the first time I saw her in person. I like how soft-spoken she is, how she listens to my stories, and everything she does has become special to me. To cut a long story short, months after college began, that little happy crush feeling grew deeper, to the point where I mustered the courage to take the biggest risk of my life. I confessed. Surprisingly, she confessed too, and it only took us a week to make it official. It wasn't the healthiest relationship in town, and I'm not sure whether it was genuine for both of us. But I knew I loved her more than anything. We never took the relationship thoroughly, given that it was both of our first relationships. By this, we only lasted three months. We started dating in the month of September, and she ended things with me shortly after the new year.
The first breakup aches like hell. Given that we were blockmates, I was able to survive months in a very suffocating environment. It hurts to see her invest energy in others that she hasn't given to me. It hurts to see how she treats her friends as opposed to how she treats me. We still talked at the time, but only when it was convenient for her. When it was months later and we still had a connection, things became complicated. Another girl entered the picture. The moment I found out about this, she and my ex-girlfriend had already separated. I attempted to distance myself after learning the information, but because I was a fool for her and couldn't say no when she suggested that we go out alone to complete our tasks on a specific subject, I agreed. This was the day I decided to take a chance again if she gave me signals. I tried to disregard what happened to the other factors that got involved in our complicated relationship.
We started dating again after nearly five months of being separated.
We were supposed to be in our eighth month when she broke up with me, and she merely gave me one reason: she got bored with our relationship. I asked her if there was anything wrong with me, and she responded no. During those months, I attempted to give my all without demanding anything in return, even though I believed I deserved more than she contributed to our relationship. I tried to be pleased as a low-maintenance girlfriend, but lowkey craved constant reassurance, "just because" presents, random compliments, and other things I do for her. And here I thought we were growing while pushing each other to be the best possible versions of ourselves. I noticed her improvement over the first few months of our relationship, but as we went on, she relapsed to her old nature, similar to my first ex-girlfriend, who broke up with me after a three-month relationship. At first, I felt I could still fix what we had, but when she begged me to let her go, it was a sign for me to stop.
And as I was writing this, it was only the morning after she broke up with me for the second time. I'm writing this to help me move ahead and to express the things that have been on my mind since the time I woke up. I'm trying to persuade myself that I did nothing wrong and that I wasn’t the one who ruined our relationship.
She never sincerely asked for forgiveness, but I knew that even before she could apologize, I had forgiven her. Perhaps it was because of love. We may never forget the pain that they caused, but love will be the reason we forgive them. However, I still wanted to thank her for loving me for an extended period of time. I will continue to cherish the time we spent together, and I will never regret that I once called you mine.
was written last february and finally decided to post it here now that I've moved on. :))

For my entire life I've gone by the name Mary. I've never had a major issue with my name other than it being super common when I grew up. I had many classmates with the same name - to the point that in some classes they started to number us to keep track.
When I moved in my Junior (HS) year, I decided to tell everyone that my name was Aubrey (My middle name). My family continued to use my first name, and they still do to this day. I'm now 26, and I've never minded that my family called me by my first name. My middle name has slowly evolved to just being called by a nickname - Bre. Which is fine. For a while, I actually preferred it. I've been married for 6 years now, and my entire in-law family calls me by my middle-nickname.
After 4 years of therapy, I've come to the realization that I changed my name as a way to avoid the things I was going through and who I was at the time. I've changed a lot as a person and have worked through my trauma, and now I've realized I've made a huge mistake telling everyone to call me Bre.
Don't get me wrong, I don't mind it to a severe degree, and I'll probably never tell anyone to call me different because of my anxiety, but... I've finally realized that it isn't so bad to be Mary, and in some ways I'd actually prefer to be called by that name again because I'd hidden behind Bre for so long.
What do I do? Am I crazy? Or over sensitive? I feel like Iike Mary and Aubrey (or Bre) are two different people entirely, and I want to be Mary again. Mary has finally become someone I love and long to be again, but my entire new life in a new state with new friends and family know me as Bre.
Can I ever escape my disguise?

Hello all. I’m going through a bit of a crisis and was hoping to get some advice. I’m new here so I’ll try to explain my situation. Sorry this is long!
My son attended a daycare center since he was 14 months old. They never complained about him until a few months before he turned 3 years old. He started being very disruptive- hitting and pushing the other kids, eloping the classroom, climbing on the furniture, etc. I got so many messages from the school so we had a parent/teacher conference about the behaviors and I took him to the pediatrician. She said it sounds like he has a mild speech delay and to have him assessed with the county or look into private speech therapy. He’s verbal and can express his wants/needs, and his communication has increased dramatically in the past few months, but he seems to struggle with questions about the past tense (what did you do at school?).
The county assessed him as having a speech and social-emotional developmental delay. After several observations at his school, they are recommending he attend a Preschool Autism Class. I was taken aback as he does not have an autism diagnosis now, and throughout the process we were constantly told his speech delay was causing his behavioral problems.
My husband is very against him attending the classroom. It would be a huge battle to get him on-board. I’m also worried his current daycare is tired of him and they will expel him.
The social worker told us the autism classroom was mostly for non-verbal children, but the special education teachers are insisting that’s not true. They insist he can’t learn in his current setting and he needs a classroom with an IEP that uses ABA techniques. But I wonder what effect of being around non-verbal children would have on his speech delay and bad behaviors.
I am completely confused by the situation and don’t have any support from my husband. I feel very alone and just want to do what is best for my son but I’m feeling very lost.
Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you!

Hi I just came across a novel, chosen by the moon novel by izabella W. Its on pay by chapter websites, I've opened and read a few chapters but I can't seem to find any free version or chapter version anywhere. Please help. If anyone has read it I'm willing to take spoilers. Here's the advert I found below of it on Facebook.
Lycanthrope species is a disgusting race. And I, Delan Riley, am nothing more than a human scum in their eyes never expected those species would turn my world upside down. Since when the lycans managed to penetrate our town, like in the early 1900's we have a hierarchy, upper class = the lycans, middle class = mated humans, and lower class = the normal humans, who were basically considered scum. I endured their torment day after day, vowing to run away from them one day, until that day came and everything changed.
Dylan POV "Humans," I scowled at the principal's words from tannoy. "The Alpha twins will be celebrating their birthday tomorrow, as such, festivities are in order." Oh great, the Alphas twin children. Adrian and Arya are the worst lycans alive. I swear just because they are the alphas kids they literally get away with everything. If their birthday is tomorrow, then the wolves are going to be worse than ever. "All students will be present to greet them, two lines will be made, with humans on the left and the lycanthrope on the right. Any mated human will be at the front of the line for their year, you will all also be in order of your school year. That is all." Chat broke out the minute the tannoy was finished. "We haven't had a school gathering since the alpha king visited three years ago, before his sons coronation." Nick was right, the last time we all gathered like that was for the king and queens visit, when he decided to let the world know that he was to renounce his title to his only child, son Josh. "That sick bestard, he wants to make sure everyone is there so those idiot twins can find their mates." Yes I was mad, my fists connected with the table in front of me once more as I thought about how disgusting the situation was. You see the twins will be turning 17, so it's very possible someone in our school could be their mate, finding a mate is sacred to a wolf, the minute they say that one word your fate is sealed. They will turn your mind, morph you into being a lover of their kind, and then you'll give in.

That won't happen to me, I'm growing old to see the world as it once was, and I'm going to choose who I'll be with. No one will take that dream away from me.

Once dinner was finished, I just wanted to sleep. I'd had a very long tiring day, I quickly sat down on a small stool my mother kept in the storage closet and removed my shirt while my brother Freddy sat at the table to do his simple homework. It wasn't long before my mother came in with a large bowl of warm salt water and some cotton, this was going to sting I just knew it. She was here to help me with the wounds caused by wolves yesterday. She slowly began to unwrap the bandage from around my torso and slowed down drastically when it came to the final layer, I felt it peel off every wound and my fists clenched in pain. "Jesus!" I heard my mom exclaim once the dressing was completely removed. The air on my back was nice though and I sighed as my arm covered my once again exposed brests. "This is more than 15!" I began to hear sniffles coming from her and sighed turning round to look at her face, only to notice tears streaming down it. "Mom I'm fine, it's alright." She shook her head. "It's not alright, I'm your mother I shouldn't let these things happen. I'm so sorry. Your father would have..." here she goes again. Every single time something happened she'd always bring up dad, it really annoyed me because no matter how much we all wish he was here, he just isn't. My father was kiled by THEIR kind, almost 5 years ago when they actually managed to take over. When the lycans managed to penetrate our town my father rose up with some people from the neighborhood, to defend our livelihood, it was futile to say the least. We lost many people and I watched as my dad was ripped apart by two fully shifted wolves, I ended up shoting him to stop his suffering before they dragged me to the courtyard, i was the person to receive the first lashing of the town when I was 12! The wolves have been pretty strict with me since that day. "Stop being stvpid!" Was I harsh? Definitely! Did she need to hear it again, absolutely. "Dad is dead, we don't know what he'd do because he never knew this life. He never knew this world." I know what he'd have done, most likely attacked the guy who held the whip and got himself kiled in the process. "The best thing you can do for me, is stop crying and help me, next time don't insist on helping if you can't handle it." She began to wash my open wounds with the warm salt water causing loud winces to leave me, I knew it was necessary to prevent infection, but my god it hurt like a betch. "Some of these are really deep Dylan!" She sniffed again and my eyes rolled in my head. "I told you, I'm fine, just wrap me back up so I can get to bed." My mom was obviously more impacted by my injuries than I was, I suppose that always the case though. When it's happening to you, you've just got to get through it but when it's happening to someone you love, you just want to take their pain away. She quickly placed a fresh bandage around my waist and chest and wrapped it tightly for compression. The bowl of water that was used was now red in color, I guess from the blood my back was dripping with. "Can you keep your head down please? At least just this week. You can't take any more lashings." I simply nodded before standing up away from the stool, I walked over to Freddie and ruffled his hair in affection. "Good night squirt." He giggled and fixed his hair slightly. "Night Dilly." I smiled walking upstairs to my little bedroom, as soon as I was inside i shut the door and flopped down on to my bed on my stomach and I took a minute to cry to myself at the pain in my back, what my mom did was important but it hurt, not that I'd ever tell her. My hand covered my mouth quickly to muffle any noise I might be making. I couldn't tell anyone, I had to be strong because more and more people were crumpling these days, and my mom would break if she knew how much I was suffering. Sleep followed me shortly after, she was right though about me needing to keep my head down for the time being, I could not take another lashing! After a long night and an even longer morning, we were all finally stood in the hallway at school waiting for the twins to arrive. "Mine!" Everyone that was stood in the hallway tensed up, as we were seniors, me and Nick were stood towards the very back of the human line. All the mated people were situated directly opposite their wolf mates in their years. We stayed silent and still as Arya walked down the hall and stopped directly in front of Nick. His eyes widened in fear, unsure of wether to look up or keep his head lowered. "Look me in the eye, mate." He glanced at me slightly as if asking what he should do. "I said, look me in the eye." He slowly moved his eye line up to look at her face. I took a glance myself to see her eyes pitch black with lust. "I... can't... I mean... erm." Before he was able to mutter anything else, two wolves from opposite, grabbed him out of the line and dragged him behind Arya. "Hey!" My head shot up before I could stop myself. My mouth also forgot its place as I jumped out of line. Everyone's head shot to me as my eyes widened in realization at what I'd done. Adrian, the other twin, walked up to me before punching me right in the stomach, I doubled over instantly. Feeling the sting in my slightly healed back. "I know you... You were publicly flogged only two days ago." God I hate this guy. "I also have it on good authority, that you openly spoke out against our rules and regulations in yesterday's class." My head shot down the line slightly to see Erin, looking a little frightened, her mate, the beta to be was looking at her, nodding his head in reassurance. "You traitor, you grassed on your own kind?" I yelled at her before feeling a fist connect with my cheek. My head whipped to the side from the force, while my class members gasped. I'm so done with this treatment, right then, I wasn't in charge of my actions. My fists curled up and my stance became a lot more defensive. My head snapped up to the alpha to be, and I looked him in the eye. "You don't know the meaning of the word disrespect." I suddenly hurled my fist towards his head, which he easily dodged, but my foot came up and kicked him instead. He stumbled backwards from the force with wide eyes. "You... you Actually hit me!" He didn't even sound annoyed, more shocked. Everyone in the hallway was watching, waiting for the alpha to do something but instead he simply stood up straight, regaining his composure. "I think everyone should get back to class." He began to walk away, following his sister when I called him back. "What about Nick?!" "Simple, He's my sisters mate. He now belongs to her." Argh, he's not an object. "He's not her property." A chuckle left his mouth, before turning his back to me again. "All humans are property." A short while later everyone made it to science class, our teacher Mrs Mathews is mated to the lycans pack doctor, she also now has a four and two year old with him. She was one of the first humans to be cohered into a false relationship. "What were you thinking young lady?" I rolled my head at her before looking at the empty seat next to mine. Nick was with that stvpid wolf girl right now. Being changed, I'm so angry it's ridiculous. "I was thinking, this guy is being a prick. Did you hear him? 'All humans are property.' It's bull shet." I looked up and the whole class looked at me like I had three heads. Talking shet about wolves is one thing, but talking about an alpha is punishable by death, attacking an alpha is an even worse offense. There was then a knock at the door and in walked Erin and her band of mated bestards. "Sorry we're late Mrs." "Erin, how are things between you and bata Monroe?" She blushed, the traitor actually blushed at the mention of his name. "He spoke to me last night about trying for a baby. We need a good strong boy to take over as beta." I scoffed looking at her as she took her seat. "You guys are actually pathetic, why can't it be a girl? Those mutts are basically Neanderthals" I voiced my opinion and saw all the shocked faces around me. Calling the lycans mutts, is the same as them calling us scum. After lesson had ended the entire school was called into the hall for assembly. This is where any human who has been found to have broken the rules were punished, usually 10 lashings were goven out or something similar. "Welcome to the school assembly, congratulations to the alpha twins for finding both your mates. Now on to the business at hand, as the 5 year anniversary of the new world is coming up, we have been informed that the alpha king will be visiting our district next week, this is very exciting news. We want you all to look your absolute best, she wolves and mated females will wear exemplary dresses made by seamstress. Male wolves and mated men will wear tailored suits. Anyone who doesn't comply will be reprimanded." The Alpha King?! No one has met him yet, he took over the throne three years ago when he turned 18. He really didn't make any appearances though, great, this month is going to be a nightmare. "As for the humans, you will be given a new uniform to wear for the visit, these are to be neatly ironed and worn to the highest standard. As for the following humans, based on your attitude this past week, you will be coming to the front and facing punishment. Tony summerset?!" Tony's head shot up as he looked around, he was in the year below but he shared my views when it came to the lycans. He slowly walked up to the front of assembly, almost instantly his top was t0rn in two and he received 10 lashings. A girl named Kara was next and she too received 10 lashings. A few more people went up slowly accepting their fate then suddenly my name was called. "Dylan Riley." Inside I was terrified but I simply shrugged my shoulders, I guess I did kind of expect this. Although I'm not sure if my back can take any more damage. "You attacked an alpha, correct!" His eyes bored into mine as I bowed my head submitting to his authority. "Technically, no." Everyone in the school gym looked on in fear, as my head moved to the front row of the wolf side. Adrian sat, with a werewolf girl in the year below, her name was Jana, I guess he found his mate. Nick and Arya were no where to be seen though. Adrian gave me a shrug as if to say he didn't tell, before smirking at my comment. "He hasn't officially taken the alpha title yet, so he's just..." i looked at the principle and noticed his eyes black and his claws out, he was in what lycans call a half shift, triggered when the subject has become angered. He turned to two security wolves and gave them a nod, Almost immediately i was forced onto my knees, my arm was slammed on a table and held in place by one wolf, while my body was held in place by the other. "Ok, I don't think this is needed, I have alpha blood, a stvpid human girl can't hurt me." My head snapped to Adrian who had stood up in front of the school to stop what was happening. "Nevertheless, humans need to know their place." With that the pressure on my arm increased as our principals hand pulled my sleeve up before a long claw punctured my skin. The searing pain shoting from the fresh wound had my eyes scrunched and my fist clenched, I bit the inside of my cheek hard instantly tasting blood, however no sound left my mouth. He continued to write, using my skin as a canvas and his claws as a marker, it went on forever, my vision blurred slightly at one point as I turned my head away. After minutes of torture, he was done and the pressure on my arm eased, instantly I snatched my arm away, hissing through my teeth at the pain. I was about to scurry off stage, when I was roughly grabbed yet again, my arm being held in the air by the principal while my feet were inches off the floor, blood dripped from the wound and the pattern he had made was on show for everyone to see. Loads of people gasped, even the wolves looked slightly horrified at what had happened. "This is what happens when a human decides to speak out. I can promise, anyone who so much as says one word about our way of life, will have the same punishment." My arm was starting to seriously ache from being held in the air for so long, and the lack of blood flow to my suspended arm was causing me pins and needles, still I refused to make a sound. I held the tears back and I bit my cheek harder causing more blood to fill my mouth. "That's enough Bradley!" Adrian growled, he was still stood up and looking at the scene in front of him. His eyes hard as he stared at the principal a low warning growl erupted from his chest which had the head teacher gulping, he quickly let go of my arm causing me to crash to the floor. A small cry left my mouth as I hit the hard floor. Immediately I scrambled away, my foot just missed the high step leading to the stage and I fell, waiting for the impact of the ground, but it never came. Two strong arms wrapped around me catching my weak body causing me to look up, my eyes widened as I noticed Adrian had caught my falling form. "This isn't part of the human punishment program!" Adrian growled causing me to tense in his grip, I pushed him away from me before fixing my uniform top. The room was deadly silent, taking in the scene in front of them, while I stole a glance at my forearm. Carved into my skin by his devastating claws were two words, words that would most definitely scar my body for life. 'Human scum' "Lessons must be learned, she received lashing merely two days ago, and clearly it had no effect on her." Another growl left Adrian's chest as he stepped on to the stage, I wasn't bothered though, you would think I'd be ashamed but I simply smiled slightly. I fixed my sleeve a little so it wouldn't rub on the fresh wound before speaking. "It doesn't matter," the whole room looked at me shocked by my attitude. "I would rather be labeled human scum, than have any resemblance to your kind. I'm proud of what I am, how many of you can say that?" After my amazing little speech, I walked right down the middle between the humans and lycans and out the door. No more compliance, I'm going to get away with as much as I can without getting into too much bother. There will come a day when the lycans power will fizzle out. When it does I'll be ready, I'll be waiting for the day we take our world back. As for the best part about my plan...

No one can stop me.

"Ouch, not so hard." I seethed as the school nurse cleaned my new wound with antiseptic. "If you had of just kept your mouth shut, this wouldn't have happened." I turned to my right looking out the window at the few clouds that were floating in the blue sky. "Like I said, I'm proud to be human, and now everyone knows what I am." I clenched my fist together as the nurse began wrapping a bandage around my forearm. It had been a good few hours since the incident in the hall, and I had been forced to come to the nurces office after I had tried to clean my wound by splashing it with water from the tap, it also refused to stop bleeding. "You are impossible. Can you please just try and stay out of trouble? For one day, that's all I ask." Our school nurse is a wolf, she's one of them. However she hates the way they treat us mere humans, she thinks we should all just live in peace with equal rights. Like that would ever happen. "All I've done is stay out of trouble, but you are just going to humiliate me anyway, so what's the actual point?" "The pack were discussing a public execution, Dylan. You need to walk on egg shells from now on, not just for you but for your family as well." No ones been publicly executed in over 4 months, I'm flattered they're considering it. They only execute people who they believe are the biggest problems to society. "Well then... I'm flattered." I chuckled, before looking at the patch job. 'Huh, not too shabby.' I quickly stood up from the human nursing station and pulled the sleeve of my shirt down covering the evidence of ever being hurt. "This is serious!" I just gave her a blank look before leaving the room. On the way out I heard her call back to me. "Please just think about it." I gave a clipped nod as I walked away wondering how I'm going to tell my mom about this. Later in the evening... "Dilly why you say that?" Freddie looked up at me with a mouth full of bread. "Don't speak with your mouthful!" My mom scolded him as a bashful blush made its way to his cheeks. "Sowwy mommy." His reply was muffled as he swallowed the last chunk of food. "I said it Freddie, because it's the truth. The wolf race are a pathetic excuse for..." my mom cut me off with an extremely stern look. "Dylan! They have ears everywhere, one more word out of you and it's your room." I scowled, my hatred for the Lycan kind growing stronger as each day passes. "What more can they do to me, lash me? Beat me? Brand me? They've ran out of options." I stated slamming my hands down, then severely regretting it as sharp pain shot though my wound. "What was that?" My head shot to regard my mothers worried expression. Her eyebrows were raised and her eyes were dull and judging as she looked at me. "Nothing, it was nothing." I quickly took my plate in my hand and began to walk to the kitchen. "I'm not really hungry, and I have homework to do!" My mom caught hold of my forearm causing me to drop my plate suddenly, I watched it slowly fall before shattering on the floor. I retracted my arm quickly and turned to Freddie. "Stay there and don't move until it's cleaned up ok sport?" He just nodded with wide eyes, I turned back to my mom and noticed her curious stare on my arm. Her grip shifted to the other side as she turned it around before pulling my sleeve up. The bandage was showing and a bit of blood was seeping though after the wound had been disturbed. "What the hel happened?" My moms eyes widened as she began to fumble with the bandage. Before she could unravel any of it I snatched my arm away. "I had an accident at school. No big." I began to gather the large pieces of the broken plate up ready to put them in the bin. "What did you do Dylan?" She looked at me with pure worry and only then did I realize what the wound must look like to someone who didn't know. "For gods sake! I didn't do it to myself! I got publicly punished at the assembly alright? It's no big deal." Her face dropped instantly and she stepped towards me, causing me to step backwards. "Mom, I'm ok. So back off will you." "What did you do? I've never known them to cut someone's arm as a punishment." Her shock and accusation was evident in her voice and I sighed heavily. "I spoke against the alphas son." I may have hit him too, but I wasn't going to divulge that part to her. "It's not one big cut, mom, it's a brand, 'human scum' carved onto my arm." "They've branded you now too?!" My eyes rolled at her hurt tone as I went to get the dustpan and brush. "You're so much like your father." A sigh left her mouth as she spoke, running a hand through her hair, while I quickly swept up the little pieces of the broken plate. "You've had a new uniform delivered. It's laid out on your bed. Dylan, Please just try and stay respectful in the future, I don't want my daughter to be completely mutilated. Although you're not far off." "Gee, Thanks." I then walked over to my little brother Freddy before blowing a kiss into his neck and hearing him giggle. "So sport, how's school going?" "It's ok." He shrugged before going back to coloring a dinosaur picture in. "Well that's good, stay out of trouble, ok little man?" Heading upstairs and into my room, my thoughts wandered to the permanent graffiti scar very slowly healing on my arm. Disgusting beasts. Think they own the world because they're faster, stronger and can shift. Pah. If you ask me they are not all that.

The second I walked into my room my mouth dropped open. On my bed was some grey pants laid out neatly, which wasn't the surprising part, no, what shocked me was the grey high neck no sleeved button down shirt, every single set of uniform had sleeves except this one. They've done this on purpose those, mutts. They want the world to see my arm and know what a disgusting creature I am. They want the world to know that I, Dylan Riley, am nothing more than 'human scum'.

During the last week, I've been horrible, in class I've been loud in voicing my views, I've insulted at least everyone to some degree, I didn't care about the consequences, and I certainly didn't think about them. I haven't seen Nick at all since he was claimed, and to make matters worse today was the royal visit. Oh yes, werewolves and mated humans alike were spending every waking minute preparing themselves to meet his royal majesty, king of the wolves. Unclaimed Humans however would rather stick pins in their eyes. "Dylan, get down now... you're going to be late." She was right, I was dawdling this morning, I really couldn't be bothered today, I gave myself one last look in the small mirror and sighed when my eyes met my newly uncovered brand. It had bad bruising around the letters, and was still extremely tender to touch, it was definitely healing now though. I made my way down the stairs and came face to face with my mother who was seeing to Freddie, she was helping my brother get his coat on when she turned to me. "You ready sport?" Freddie nodded his little head at me and smiled while I quickly slid my shoes on. "Just Remember, the alpha is bad enough, Dylan, please, please don't do anything to anger the king." My mother stopped us from walking out the door to tell me something she had been telling me continuously for the last couple of days, it was almost as if the entire human population of our district was expecting me to do something stvpid. "Try and have a good day." I rolled my eyes but nodded, even I know not to push the king, he could kil me in the hallway like it was nothing. In fact I plan on staying out of his way for the entirety of the day. "We will see you tonight mom." I stated before me and my brother began our walk to school, his little hand clutched my own tightly as we went. Usually Nick would be with us, as he lives next door, well he used to, now he's residing in the main pack house. I quickly dropped Freddie off at his school and watched him get the wolfsbane neutralizer before walking into him building giving me a small wave before he went in. With my new scar on complete show, and my figure being complimented by the skin tight shirt I was wearing, I sauntered down the street to school, I gave my name and year in and took the wolf's bane neutralizer injection with no problems at all. It was finally getting into school that the problem occurred. Walking through the halls I was met by many looks, some of pity some of disgust. You see every single non mated human in the school was wearing a long sleeved version of the uniform I was given. All the Wolves and mated couples were scattered around in fancy floor length dresses or tailored suits. As I turned the corner I noticed a couple, now this couple happened to catch my eye the most out of all of them because it consisted of Arya and Nick, eating each other's faces off. "What the hel!" Nicks head shot to me as his eyes widened. He too was dressed in a tailored suit, a navy blue tie hung on his neck to match Aryas dress. Why was this happening all the time? It's always my friends that get completely brain washed. I shook my head in disbelief before turning my back on him. I heard his fast footsteps behind me as I rounded the corner. "Dylan?!" He ran right in front of me, stopping me in my tracks, making me drop my bag off my shoulder and almost causing me to bump into him. "Let me just explain..." "Has she marked you?" I mean you could almost see it in his eyes, she had marked him, and knowing the way life goes he's probably even mated with her. "Actually... Don't even answer that." I aggressively picked my bag up off of the floor and stormed off down the hall. "Dylan, just listen to me, Erin was right, it's so hard to resist your soulmate, and Arya is actually ok once you get to know her." I just kept walking, he caught up to me walking beside me but it didn't matter, I completely ignored everything and everyone. 'I'm so not in the mood today' getting into class was good though, I said hello to Mr Foley and took my usual seat. Nick sighed then took his bag off ready to sit next to me, but I snapped before he had the chance. "Traitors and mated idiots sit on that side of the room." I didn't look him in the eye as I pointed to a seat right at the front of the classroom on the opposite side. His eyes widened as he turned his attention back to me. "You can't be serious Dylan." I gave him a blank look before grabbing my book out of my backpack, I placed it on the desk then began to write the date on the top line. "I've sat in this seat for as long as I can remember." I ignored him, his voice sounded sad and shocked. "Dylan? Wait! What is that?!" Before I could react Nick had grabbed hold of my branded arm and turned it to see the letters. "Oh my God! What happened?" I snatched my arm away from him and shrugged as I continued to write in my book before grabbing my water bottle out of my bag. "The principal happened, it was my punishment for speaking out against Adrian and Arya. I wear it with pride." He just held a complete look of disbelief. "You spoke out against them?" I shrugged, what did he think I'd do. "It's no secret that I despise this stvpid new world and the mutts that control it. You were my friend, I wasn't going to let them just take you without saying something, although that is exactly what you seem to have done. Enjoy the view from your new seat!" "Don't be like that, Dylan, I'm your best friend, I'm sorry about your arm, but..." my eyes rolled inside my head at my friends words. "Anything with the word 'but' in, isn't an apology, it's a rationalization." I took a drink of water from my bottle and kept my eyes facing forward, ignoring his every attempt to try and talk to me. "Dylan?.. Dylan?... Do you know what? Erin is right, if you push us all away you won't have any friends left." He huffed before walking over to the empty seat and sitting down, I could feel him glancing up at me every now and again but I didn't respond. "Good morning class, please settle down." He looked at me then at Nick and frowned, we've never sat apart, we were friends before the new world even began. I just shook my head telling him to forget it. "So... as you know the king will be arriving in a short while, but until then lessons will go on as normal." Its funny seeing teachers in the same uniform your wearing, mr Foley and his wife are the coolest. Human teachers and doctors only have slightly more respect than we do. Because of Mr Foley's status him and his wife have better access to food and drink, Mrs Foley is cool, sometimes she even makes sure mr Foley brings some in for me. Ya know, coz I'm their favorite student. It's not in a weird way, it's just they were friends of the family before the new wold took effect. Mr Foley and my dad were buddies from high school, so it goes without sayin really. "All the mated humans will be at the front of each years line again, after that you will all be placed in status, Nick, as your mated to Alpha Arya, you'll be at the front of your line. Dylan as you have been branded..." his voice trailed off as he looked at me. "Yeah yeah, I'll be at the back of the line behind everyone. I get it." I huffed, moving my sight towards the window once more. "I am sorry." I turned to face Mr Foley again, he looked genuinely upset and that look of pity wasn't something I wanted to see. I gave him a clipped nod then turned away again. "Anyway, on to the subject matter, 'Of Mice and Men, page 64, Nick why don't you start us off with the reading."

"Of course sir." Nick began reading the book but I switched off, today is going to be a long day. After almost an hour and a half of reading comprehension, the bell chimed signaling lunch. I shot up and out of the classroom before anyone could say anything. Today, I was avoiding drama like the plague.

I wandered the corridors straight to the lunch hall. All the people I would normally hang out with we're all mated so I grabbed my lunch quickly, and sat down at the end of the human table. Let me lay the lunch hall out for you. On one side of the room you have two long rows of tables, with simple benches that make it look like prison, on the other side of the room you have multiple round tables with fancy chairs. Yup you get it. The humans sit at the prison tables and the wolves and traitors sit on the fancy tables, they get fancy food, fancy drink and most importantly they get pudding. what I would give to have some pudding. "Dylan can we just talk?" Nick quickly took the spot next to me as he set his lunch tray down. I looked at his food which had been placed on a ceramic, circular white plate. God that looked good. I sighed knowing he was going to talk anyway. "Fine, you have two minutes." I used my fork to take a bit of pasta off his plate and shoved it into my mouth. God that was good. "After I left school, I was taken to the pack house with Arya, and I really got to know her. It took a few days for me to finally accept being with her, but ever since life has been ok, and the sax... well that's a whole other story." Eww, I didn't need that mental image in my head. "I'm glad your happy." I stated before deciding I had no appetite. His face held shock before he sighed in relief. "That means a lot Dylan, I mean you know that your opinion matters to me." I cut him off before he could say anything else. "I said I was glad your happy. I didn't say I approved of what you've done. You've basically turned into one of THEM, I can't ever forgive you for that." He looked hurt, but I couldn't care less about his feelings. He placed his hand gently on my arm and went to open his mouth when a growl sounded out. All heads whipped to where it came from, Arya was stood holding a glass of soda and a plate, she was looking right at me and Nick and I would totally be dead if looks could kil. Nick quickly retracted his hand, his whole face fell and you could see sorrow flood his irises. "You sit with me now, get away from that, that... scum!" Wow, Nick was such a lucky guy. NOT. "You heard her. Get away from me, go sit with your new friends. I'm happy for you, and I understand where your coming from, but don't come up to me again and pretend you didn't betray your own kind. Don't pretend you didn't betray me." I shoved a little bit of food into my mouth before standing up and walking out of the cafeteria, leaving my tray on the table. I was walking through the hallway to the classroom, you see I decided to spend lunch with Mr Foley in his room, when I happened to hear voices in the corridor. "Is it wise for her to actually be present when the king arrives? Surely she could be placed in the dungeons, it might actually teach her some respect?" My principal was speaking to the alpha of our district, huh, if I stayed and listened do you think they'd notice, maybe they could smell me?! "Everyone is to be present, if the Riley girl does one thing out of line she will be dealt with severely, child or not. That girl has been a blight to the district since day one, she's dangerous, if she puts one hair out of place I will personally break her into submission." Oh shet, they were talking about me specifically, and they mentioned the dungeon, that's not been used in months. Normally I would have listened in more but something about the entire situation didn't sit right with me, all of a sudden, I was on edge, and simply wasn't interested in the slightest in hearing how my misery was to be enhanced. I backed up slightly before turning around and bumping head first into one of the hottest man I had ever seen. I lost my balance immediately and fell straight on to the floor letting out a small grumble in the process. His eyebrows knitted together quickly and his breath hitched in his throat as he looked upon my fallen state and gasped. "Mate!" He whispered, his eyes fixated on mine. Now, I had seen and heard that many times to know what that means, I gasped before taking a step back. 'No, no, no, no, no. This can not be happening.' He growled slightly before stepping towards me. Oh Shet!

I began using Headspace in 2017. It was a life changer. Andy’s voice and everything about the simplicity of this app helped me see the world differently.
Today, my loyalty keeps me from going elsewhere but now the app has become so much more complex and 80% of the content is from narrators who just don’t do it for me like Andy did.
Just putting this out to the universe. I am not getting what I used to from this app and could use a nudge in a new direction or way of thinking about this.
Is anyone else experiencing this or have feelings in this way?
Thanks y’all.

Hi! I just wanna know up to what extent will you follow your parent’s advices in terms of your life? For context, I have a friend who is a transman who later confessed he liked me and wanted to pursue me. I was taken aback since it was my first time having this experience so I rejected him and I just want to continue the friendship. I am a cis-woman, college graduate, will start working soon and I came from a Christian family.
So usually, it’s my mom who decides for me ever since I was a child. This left me feeling unsure of every decision I make and always waits for her validation before feeling good about the decision I made. But now, since I recently had this suitor of mine, my Christian parents expressed that they are strongly against it. They do recognize that my suitor is a good person but they do not want me to commit a sin by engaging in that relationship. I, being raised in this Christian household, has also had that initial belief that it was a sin. But after spending more time with my friend/suitor, I somehow am getting confused feelings if whether I am starting to like my suitor or is it just because we’ve gotten closer over time. I am sure tho that I want to keep him in my life. But if I do continue this, I know that there will be no validation from my parents and I am not sure if I would be making the right decision.
I never thought about my orientation before because ever since, I always knew I was a hetero woman and I like being a woman. I was always attracted to men only as well. But now, if I start to develop feelings for my suitor, would it then indicate that I am not hetero? Am I bi? Lesbian? I do see him as a man but ofc biologically, he has the same anatomical parts as mine. He expressed that he identifies as a man ever since and has only ever been attracted to women before. I never had any relationship and sexual experience before (yes, a virgin) so I do not know yet what I like.
Now, since he has only been my most genuine and consistent suitor, I am not sure if I should give him a second chance, given my uncertainties and ofc my family. I think it would be unfair to him if my family will not fully accept either him or both of us.
Thank you in advance for your insights.

I (16,F) live with my sister (11,F) and my parents. my dad is the typical alcoholic, abusive and cheating husband. for context we live in India so it's pretty common here. my mom has known about the cheating for about 15 years, and I learnt about this fact pretty early on in my life. I live in a constant fear of my dad hurting my mom or sister, physically and emotionally, it's taken over my life. I cannot focus on my studies. today after I came back from a sleepover in the morning. I hear my mom breaking down in tears about how my dad had had a long talk after meeting up with his mistress. she said how she deserves to live a good life and how he's ruined her. we had moved the to US 5 years back, in 2019, but we came back to India shortly after covid started. she explained how she's not lived since we came to India before my dad mets up with his mistress everyday. she went as far as to ask for a divorce because she wants to take me and my sister and leave for US. she said that she will literally drink poison and she cannot do this anymore. I have explained to my mother that I will always support her if she wanted a divorce, even encouraged it. she always goes back and forth in this decision, sometimes agreeing and sometimes saying that she justs wants to wait it out till I get a stable job because she does not have a degree. I am extremely scared she may do something to herself. even if she doesn't I have to live with the fact that she is always hurting. any advice would be appreciated thank you so much.

I 18 F got my first ever boyfriend last month. Let’s call him Jamie 18 M Jamie is so sweet and is basically the idyllic boyfriend I’ve been dreaming of for my whole life. He’s tall, funny, smart (particularly maths) always compliments me and is overall a perfect boyfriend.
Before I continue, you need a little backstory. Let’s flashback 6 months ago, I don’t know of Jamie yet and I’m in the beginning of my final year at school and I’ve become closer with one of my friends. Let’s call her Emily 18 F. Emily and I knew of each other ther for a few years prior but have never really formed a bond. The Christmas of my final year we got a lot closer than ever before and started hanging out a lot. Emily has always been openly gay and I really admire her for that. However after hanging out for a few months I started to notice a few signs that Emily might like me. This is where it gets Interesting, there was a period of time when I thought I liked her too but I couldn’t be sure if I was actually attracted to her or if I only felt like that because she liked me. I didn’t really know what to do with these feelings so I pushed her away and started to isolate myself from her. I know I am TAH for that but I’ll get back to it.
Flash forward 6 months, so back to the present. I feel really really bad about the things I said to Emily and send her a huge apology and express everything. Emily accepts my apology and we are now on good terms once more. I begin to hang out with Jamie a lot more as well however as time goes on I don’t actually think I like Jamie like that. I’ve never had a boyfriend before so I’m new to all of this and so is he. I think I rushed into a relationship too quickly and never actually considered whether I liked him or not. I still do like Jamie but I just don’t feel attracted to him and I don’t know why. I feel like there is something wrong with me. He’s literally perfect but I just can’t seem to connect with him. I should mention that Jamie was also my first kiss however I really don’t think I enjoyed it. I understand that the first kisses aren’t always movie worthy but every time we hang out I will avoid everything to do with physical contact and will pretend to look into the distance when I know he wants to kiss. I really don’t know what to do because I don’t want to be in a relationship with someone who I’m not attracted to but I don’t want to hurt him because he’s done nothing wrong. Sometimes part of me thinks about what my life could have been like if I had accepted my feelings towards Emily. I don’t know what this means. I’ve always dreamed of being with a guy but now I have it, I don’t think I like it. Did I need to kiss Jamie to realise its actually not what I want? Or is Jamie just the wrong guy?? Should we break up?
TL;DR I’m don’t think I’m attracted to by boyfriend even though he’s what I’ve been dreaming of.

I’m sorry but I just really need to vent because I don’t really have anyone to talk to. It all started back in 2022 which was by far the worst year of my life. My dad was diagnosed with cancer, and my mum had a heart attack which all happened within a couple months.
And then my girlfriend of 6 years broke up with me as well. We didn’t really talk or hang out as much as we used to. And she said it was because of her mental health problems and she just needed to be alone, so she wouldn’t hurt me. But then about a month later I found out she’s got a new boyfriend. And suddenly they’re posting pics off them on holiday and she seems to be having the time of their life. I don’t know why but that made me feel so worthless, I felt like I didn’t really mean anything to her.
Anyway I spent about half a year in bed, just crying and trying to sleep as much as possible. Eventually I got out of it, and I started taking care of myself again, I even went on daily walks with my mum, I was focusing on my hobbies, stayed in touch with my friends, etc.. I still felt empty and hurt but at least I was able to do stuff and somewhat live my life.
Up until last night, when I found out she’s pregnant. I thought things were finally looking up and I was getting over it, but this news literally broke me. I’ve always had a little bit of hope that one day maybe she’d come back, but that’s definitely not gonna happen now.
So now I’ve been up all night feeling sick and it’s my dad’s birthday party today and now I can’t go and I just don’t really know what to do anymore. Like don’t get me wrong I want her to be happy, but this whole situation is making me feel so awful and physically ill. And I’m just so scared because it feels like I’m gonna hit rock bottom again and I just don’t know how to deal with this or what to do?

[check my other updates for some context]
i failed by 4 points. i have to redo the entire year over ONE CLASS, and get another 100k into debt. i worked so hard to make friends, and after finally starting to get close to others, WHICH TOOK SO MUCH EFFORT, it seems all of the connections i made are as good as gone. i broke up w my partner bc i was made to feel absolutely unlovable and worthless, and they already moved on to dating others while im in the dust. i gained 40 pounds from the stress over this past year, so i cant even leave the house without feeling like a monster. i cant help but blame myself for all of this, and its true. but i dont want to be a self pitying sad sack either, i want to do something about it.
everyone else is traveling with friends and enjoying their 20s but i cant help but feel like the biggest garbage fire on the planet. my family is worried im going to hurt or kms (even though ive put on a tough face and havent been sad around them) so i cant even let them know how badly i feel or else theyre gonna freak out. theyve already been pressuring me to move back in with them and sacrafice the independence i was JUST able to experience at 23, and im worried i wont have a choice anymore. i barely had any friends from before med school, and i imagine less now bc i got so busy with my studies, i couldnt keep up. i feel like the worst person on the planet.
i dont know how everyone has this work study life balance figured out? i cant for the life of me! i dont have anyone to talk to, and no support system i can trust outside my cousin, and she has enough on her plate already... plus im ashamed to admit how much of a loser i am to her. i do want to die. but id feel guilty if i did, because my family is already dealing with alot of stress so i wouldnt want to add to that. not sure if you guys read my other posts but this downward spiral has been a long time coming. im sick of it. i want to turn things around but i feel so hopeless. i dont think anyone is going to read this, and i dont think ill ever share it w my loved ones. but honestly i dont think people turn to reddit unless theyre at that point. no where to turn, no where to go, no one who cares, even here in the void. i wish i was medicated again, but i havent been able to afford it. but maybe i can start somewhere...
here's what im thinking: im going to start by hitting the gym daily, now that i have time to do so. and im going to continue studying all summer to prepare for my retake exams, and my singular retake course. i have meetings all next week to get re-registered which is annoying but nessecary. i just hope i can post an update in a few months that isnt so pathetic, and have my life turned around by then. my birthday is coming up in august and im so scared im not gonna have anyone around me who cares that i exist. just like the past few years. but maybe thats what i deserve... i dont know. i gotta make a change now because this is driving me crazy.
do you guys have any suggestions to help me make the most out of this situation?? or at least to help with self esteem and self worth issues??? bc honestly the bad thoughts have become dehabilitating and im worried im going to relapse into a very dark place. thank you guys for taking the time to read this big word blob, and im sorry if its just me ranting or complaining. just had to get it out somewhere haha. im going to start my morning now and try to make the most of this summer. just bc i cry myself to sleep and first thing when i wake up DOESNT MEAN I GOTTA WASTE MY DAY DOING IT TOO 😂 bye for now, and any advice would be much appreciated!!

I have had almost all of the symptoms of a sugar intolerance most of my life and am only just starting to recognise the link between sugar and all of these issues I thought had no relation until now. For example, skin issues, bloating, lethargy, itchy skin, mood swings.
All of which have noticeably improved in the past when I have been eating not much sugar and pretty healthy. However, the second I have any small amount of sugar like a chocolate bar they all come back in full fury.
So naturally I’m keen to cut out sugar for at least a month and see how drastically it can improve these symptoms. However, I’m a long distance runner and field hockey player so naturally I burn through a lot of glycogen daily.
I’ve trained on a keto diet before (admittedly not for very long so maybe I should have taken some more time getting used to it) and I really hated how much weaker it made me feel. But I really do want to fully commit to this sugar free process.
So I guess my question is will it be worth the benefits to go all out and just go low-carb/keto or will I have pretty much similar results with just quitting sugars like sucrose and fructose rather than carbs altogether? Alternatively should I start out keto and slowly reintroduce carbs to see what potential trigger foods may be?

She probably will never see this, then again I could be wrong. I kind of hope she does so I can say some of what I wanted to say, but instead we ended up arguing over things that are really not important and I wish I could take it all back.
In High School it started and I never told anyone, not even my best friend. You were the one, the girl who was in a relationship, the crush I always wanted, the one I wanted to marry and spend my life with, to treat with the most genuine respect and to love and cherish. The problem was you were taken and I respected that line, most people don't. Yet life just kept moving forward. I come to find years later that your life has been filled with trauma, neglect, abuse, filled with drama and hate, being used and taken advantage of. The things I would never let happen to you or do to you were happening or had happened, and it breaks my heart to see you so different than the one I knew all those years ago. But deep in there it's still you and I hope that I may one day bring you back to happiness and to keep a smile on your face and to show you how much you are loved.
After 20 years we found each other living together albeit briefly after some difficult and unexpected times. I tried to tell you how I felt, you didn't want to hear it. And then we did something together I never thought would ever happen, and it was something I had hoped would happen for so long. I will always remember it and think about it everyday, how incredible it was and how it still could be. Even the first time our lips locked I was in complete ecstacy, the way you kissed me was something passionate and real, not just another kiss. You really are amazing and so beautiful and I wish we could continue to become something more. Something beautiful. Something forever.
I didn't want to leave you but I couldn't stand being thought of as just someone else there to use you. I would never hurt you. I tried to find the words, but you shut me down, you distanced yourself from me, that hurt. I know things are tough and I was willing to do everything I could to help.
Maybe I sound like I am rambling now but just know this. I am sorry for how I left, for leaving you alone, for everything wrong that I may have done. I just want you in my life, by my side. Maybe one day that will happen but it is something you need to figure out. I will continue to wait for you. If you will have me, come to me. You'll be safe and respected, loved and appreciated. For now, I am setting off on the hunt for more money, to give myself a fresh start and that also includes you, as I told you during our time together. My hand and heart will be waiting for you to take.
Find me. Message me. Email me. Call me. Anything. I want to make you happy for the rest of our lives.
I'm sorry J. I miss you. I want you with me. I want to hold you, hold your hand, to love you, to kiss you, to be the one you deserve. Hopefully we will find each other again. For now, just know im there thinking about you, waiting and going to do everything I possibly can.
Me.

Hey there my name is Eduardo and hopefully we can become friends! Below will be a bit about me and some other stuff👇
Overall though I’m just looking for another friend someone who I can talk to about life, anything really, share laughs, and vent. I hope that I can also be a friend like that to someone else here.
I’m from the US (where my fellow Marylanders at?), I’m a busy person but I try my best to make time for my friends as I see friends very high in my priorities. I am in college for a history, work as a carpenter and part time at a restaurant.
I don’t care where you are, 18+, or your background just lmk though so I can keep in mind timezones.
I’ve done some traveling and big road trips I love driving/traveling. We can share road trip stories if you have any :). Now with the weather getting nice and hot I want to get into hiking just more involved with MOTHER NATURE.
I don’t really play games anymore but I did use to collect games so I can share that much lol though I did play a lot before graduation.
Favorite movies/franchises/shows, my favorite anime and fictional series is one piece, if you also watch/read one piece I can talk about it endlessly. Spider-Man I’ve been all over recently, always been a spidey fan and when I can read the comics. Zelda and Mario and some of my favorite game franchises. I played other games I’m not just a Nintendo guy dw. I’m always up to watch something new like a movie or tv show so recommendations are open, genre don’t really matter.
Music, I listen to really all kinds and appreciate from all genres except metal or just screaming sorry metal heads. Mostly as of now I’m getting into or listening to just pop, r&b, indie, classic rock, new wave, reggae rock, salsa, rap/hip hop (mostly older stuff). I’ll take any recommendations if you follow a genre I like 👍
PLEASE no nsfw I don’t want that go somewhere with that I’m good I don’t want to talk or see it.
I’m down to text, call, video chat just lmk but please I can get busy at times so keep that in mind.

I'm dealing with vaginal atrophy.
The clinic I am trying to plan my hysterectomy with gave me a tube of estrogen cream to apply 2-3 times a week. Part of the atrophy is from testosterone therapy (I am FtM) but a lot of it has to do with probably lack of use and a weak pelvic floor.
I don't see my primary doctor until sometime in July. I was going to ask for a referral to physical therapy for this issue, but otherwise I don't know what else to do or look for right now.
Does anyone know of any good sites that will teach me about exercises I can do to help with the atrophy? I am also interested in yoga that will help me release trauma, etc. and cope with no one finding me desirable at this point in my life. Anything that might empower me and help me love myself, at least.
(I don't have a partner and it will probably be quite some time until I'm ready for an actual relationship.) I am also going to go to a local specialty shop and ask them what I can do for myself when I can afford it. I was thinking of buying a dildo, some sort of clit sucker, and nice lube. Maybe some yoni eggs and kegals would help too?
I was hoping other single people dealing with vaginal atrophy would tell me how they addressed it.
I am honestly quite upset coming to terms with the fact I haven't been touched in so long, even my physical health is starting to suffer. I knew my mental health is suffering from lack of touch, connection, and such but the fact my parts were starting not to work is a serious concern.
I'll be 32 in August. I have been on T since 2018 except for one year my parents forced me to go without it.

Hey there my name is Eduardo and hopefully we can become friends! Below will be a bit about me and some other stuff👇
Overall though I’m just looking for another friend someone who I can talk to about life, anything really, share laughs, and vent. I hope that I can also be a friend like that to someone else here.
I’m from the US (where my fellow Marylanders at?), I’m a busy person but I try my best to make time for my friends as I see friends very high in my priorities. I am in college for a history, work as a carpenter and part time at a restaurant.
I don’t care where you are, 18+, or your background just lmk though so I can keep in mind timezones.
I’ve done some traveling and big road trips I love driving/traveling. We can share road trip stories if you have any :). Now with the weather getting nice and hot I want to get into hiking just more involved with MOTHER NATURE.
I don’t really play games anymore but I did use to collect games so I can share that much lol though I did play a lot before graduation.
Favorite movies/franchises/shows, my favorite anime and fictional series is one piece, if you also watch/read one piece I can talk about it endlessly. Spider-Man I’ve been all over recently, always been a spidey fan and when I can read the comics. Zelda and Mario and some of my favorite game franchises. I played other games I’m not just a Nintendo guy dw. I’m always up to watch something new like a movie or tv show so recommendations are open, genre don’t really matter.
Music, I listen to really all kinds and appreciate from all genres except metal or just screaming sorry metal heads. Mostly as of now I’m getting into or listening to just pop, r&b, indie, classic rock, new wave, reggae rock, salsa, rap/hip hop (mostly older stuff). I’ll take any recommendations if you follow a genre I like 👍
PLEASE no nsfw I don’t want that go somewhere with that I’m good I don’t want to talk or see it.
I’m down to text, call, video chat just lmk but please I can get busy at times so keep that in mind.

By all means am i okay to wait until marriage. I wanted to when i was younger but got pressured into sex and then was r*ped when i was 15 which afterwards i became super hypersexual. When i turned 18 i stopped until i met my ex bf when i was 20 and i ended up getting pregnant. I left him almost immediately due to him lying and manipulating me our whole relationship and then admitting he wanted to get me pregnant, he is currently in jail and i havent spoken to him since i was 6 weeks pregnant, my son is almost 7 months old. My current BF and i started dating a month and a half ago, ive known him for 10 years we basically grew up together and ive been insanely close with him and his family for ages, we have done sexual things but i recently found out he has struggled w a porn addiction for years and in the first week or so of our relationship he was flirting with other girls on social media, he hasnt since then that i know of (he told me he doesnt remember flirting which i feel is a lie) and weve talked about a lot of things since then to the point of both of us sobbing and him apologizing over and over and asking why im still with him. God put him in my life for a reason and i wholeheartedly believe its to be my husband, and im not giving up on him that easy my BF is worth so much more than he realizes, hes worth fighting for and worth someone standing by his side while he heals. He is such a good man and always has been. He’s deleted social media and is adamant that im the one he wants whole heartedly, he treats me like a princess which i feel i don’t deserve. Im a broken and insecure person due to the insane amount of trauma ive had, he is so understanding about all of it i don’t understand how, im working on myself like crazy to be better, im in therapy, parenting classes, etc. He recently brought up he wants to wait till marriage to do anything sexual again (which im totally down for, id always wanted to wait but feel like i cant or a man wont want me) but due to what has happened with him flirting with girls in the beginning of our relationship and his porn addiction im terrified hell search for sexual pleasure somewhere else even though he says he wont. i asked him if he ever has those desires to just come to me and we can sit down and talk, read the bible and whatever else he thinks will help. Im worried he wont. He is adamant about me being the one he wants to marry (yes i know weve been dating for a short time but weve been extremely close for 10 years) He is working so hard to heal himself and work on himself, i partially blame his father for getting him into porn and doing unspeakable things to him as a child but obviously my BF is his own person and makes his own choices so its also on him. I honestly dont know where this is going i just keep typing im so sorry this is so long. Basically im scared that my BF will search for sexual pleasure in porn and other girls even though he says he loves me and wants me and wants to wait till marriage and never wants me to feel like hes just with me for my body. I feel so loved and understood by him i know its my own insecurities and i should stop worrying. Im completely myself around him, ive never been able to be as weird and goofy in any past relationships as i am with him, im always hiding parts of myself but with him im completely and wholeheartedly myself. I am so happy with him and as a person who has had depression from a very young age it felt like i would never be this happy. His sister has even told me shes never seen him this happy and in love before and shes happy for us and doesn’t believe he would ever cheat or intentionally harm me (i trust her with my whole heart and soul, shes basically been my best friend since i was 12 and knows her brother better than anyone and wouldnt lie to me) I guess im just here for advice? and maybe validation? i dont know i just needed to get this out to people who may understand and can help me.
TL:DR - BF and i have done sexual things, he wants to stop and wait till marriage due to wanting me for more than just my body, his porn addiction and his beliefs. I am wholeheartedly open to it but am very broken and scared he will search for sexual pleasure in porn and other women though he is adamant he wont and would like to sit and talk and read the bible with me anytime he has impure thoughts
Ive never posted on reddit before sorry if ive done any of this wrong and its confusing. id just really like some advice/encouragement

I am a developer and currently have a Lenovo Legion 5 running Ubuntu 22.04. The power is good but the battery life sucks, the nvidia drivers give me a lot of issue and it is not a very portable device.
I want to buy a new laptop which is portable, has good battery life and has good Cpu power. I dont care a lot about gpu power. My main work involves running multiple containers, VMs amd system programming.
I am thinking of buying a thinkpad, but there are so many options that it is tought to chose one. I will mostly buy 14 or 15 inch laptop(definetly not 16 inch). I am confused between the different series like T, P, L and E(X and X1 is way too expensive). I also want to know the differences between Intel and AMD variants.
Please suggest some laptops based on the above requirements. Also I am based in India
PS. I have considered Macbook(which is honestly an all fits one solution) as well, but i like to use linux, and will probably install linux as,soon as i buy any laptop.

I was in a relationship with my ex bf for 7 months, and I thought everything was going perfect, at the beginning of May we made plans to move in together, his idea, and we were so excited to spend the future together. Anyways a week before my birthday, May 19th, he said he needed time alone and that he didn't want to burden and drag me down. I told him that he wasn't a burden and that I needed him, but he said he couldn't drag me down still. On my birthday he texts me happy birthday, at 12 AM, and I asked if he was ready to see me again and that it wasn't healthy to be ignoring me. He then broke up with me, saying it was not my fault at all, and that he just couldn't be with me but still wanted to be friends. I was too hurt to say anything but thanks for telling me. He then said 30 minutes later he didn't want to talk anymore, and blocked me on Instagram where we normally talk. Two days later I texted him because I needed to know why, and he started blaming me and said I was using him and did some stuff that hasn't sat right with him. I didn't want to argue with him because I didn't get anything from him in the relationship besides what I thought was love and now looking back was just tiny spurts of attention. He's with this other guy now that he always hung out with and I just feel so hurt. Whenever I think about him I feel like my anxiety is stabbing me and I get nauseous, and all I want is him to comfort me. I wish I could've done things differently and I wanna move on but I can't stop thinking about every little interaction we had and what I could've done better

I'm tired of playing the victim in my own damn life. So much already happened this year. I really was hoping for a better year but we're still in our flop era unfortunately. Anyway, rock bottom isn't pretty at all. I want to get out of here. I never realized it could get this bad, you know? Like these emotions aren't new to me. I got sad before. I cried before. I got anxious in the past but never to this extreme. I can only take so much at once.
Been to therapy for a couple of years now but with little progress. I love my therapist to death, don't get me wrong. It's just how my life is going really. Month after month, it's like an unending marathon. Something always comes up. Something to worry about. It's been like this for years.
"It gets better" is what ive heard and ive told myself. I kept repeating it to the point that it doesn't hold meaning anymore? Everyday is the same. Problems kept stacking up. My mind filled with thoughts i never wanted to hear. It became dark very fast. Like I became a ghost of my own life – watching it pass by from an outsider's perspective. No control. I can't work, and function like a normal person. Ive become unable to feel any satisfaction. It sucks.
People ask "how are you" then I contemplate whether to say "I'm okay" or not because then it becomes a discussion, then them trying to give me advice and tell me all the same old cliche phrases that I've heard so many times. "You're so strong"... i hate it.
So after years of raw dogging life and subsequently getting deeply depressed, I finally took the step to seek help from a psychiatrist and get medicated.
I am hopeful for this journey because god knows how much i want to be better but if this isn't the answer, i dont know what else i should do.

Hey im 16m
and 2.5 years ago I met a girl through snapchat we were just talking for 1 year and then she wanted to meet me I liked her quite a bit so I agreed we met in my city because she was here that weekend and the moment I saw her I was in love we talked all day and a week later she said she was in love too but I wanted to ask her when I saw her in real life again so that stopped us from being in a relationship then I didn't see her for 2 months and we called and talked a lot and one day she said that her mother wanted to meet me I was jumping for joy and didn't know what to say because I was so happy 1 week later I met her family.
it was a great day and everything went well i had bought flowers for her and her mother just before i left we went for a walk and i thought that was my chance to ask her but i didn't dare every time
every time I wanted to say something no sound came out and I became shy then we went back inside and shortly afterwards I went home we kept talking a lot and doing a lot of things together and everything went well a few months later we still hadn't seen each other because we didn't have enough time I missed her a lot but I didn't dare to say that 1 month later was Valentine's Day and I had a I got her a bear of roses that unfortunately I couldn't give to her myself because she had problems so we couldn't meet up, so I sent it to her house, which honestly hurt a lot because I wanted to give it myself and ask her right away for a relationship A few days later she had given me bear and we were talking until I got a lump in my throat and suddenly started missing her very much. I actually never miss people but with her I felt different and I thought maybe I should just say something. I feel and I did I said that I loved her and that I never want to lose her again and even though people say that young people always break up, we stay together and we will make it. I saw that she was in our chat for a while and then she called me and i heard she was crying she said that I was very sweet and that she will never forget that
everything went well until 2 months later I had arranged to meet her twice and she had ghosted me twice, the last time I was very angry because I went to her city and waited 2 hours for her we were not talking until I said I didn't want to talk for a while because I was too angry
after 2 days of not talking I said I was sorry for what I said and that I wanted to talk it out she said she would call me when she had time but after 2 days I still hadn't heard from her so I asked if everything was okay and then she said that she has thought about it and that she doesn't want a relationship right now because she now has to focus on herself, school and her family, which I completely understood, we both had our own problems, that's what brought us together in the first place we just forgot what happened and started talking normally again after that we and we met up one more time or we shouldve met up because she ghosted me again this time one of her problems got in her way and she couldn’t contact me
But i didnt know so i got angry and said if she is gonna do this everytime i dont want to keep going
she explained what happened and then one of my problems came to my mind, which made me react even angrier to everyone, she didn't know and thought I was angry, and thought I was angry which made our argument even worse the next day our argument continued and after that we stopped talking for 1 day then she said she has thought about it and thinks it would be better if we with “us” She said she had no interest anymore after that moment i realized what had happened and i started chasing her for 1 week but it was already too late 4 days after we stopped talking i tried again and i told her how i felt and sent her a message about us for a long time in the hope that it would help She called me again crying and said that i was nice and she really loves me but she doesnt know how we should keep going she said she will come back on it
After couple of days she said “maybe its better if we really stop “ and its hurts me when she said that that day we talked a bit and i felt nothing for her anymore One day later i mist her so much i wanted to go back in time and re-do everything but in an good way 2 weeks after that mist her so much i contacted her and she said “you need to forget me otherwise your gonna hurt yourself” after that i said “okay sorry for bothering you” and that was 1,5 months ago
I really mis her and i think about her everyday even if i dont want to thinking back we had it so perfect with each other and i just want to restart with her And i want to contact het again but she probably gonna me annoyed or smt and she wanted no contact because is will hurt her to so i respect her her choice My best friend said that i need to forget everything because she probably already did
But idk went its late in the day i miss her Im football player and got scouted for a great team And she always believed in me and when i get news from my new team i wanna tell her because i always told her and my mom first but now it just makes me sad
So should i contact her again and say that i miss her and probably annoy her or What should i do?