The second half of a long chapter.
“Oh, professor page,” I heard Anna yell from the living room, “You better get your ass out here quick.”
I quickly rinsed off my hands scurried into the living room, greeted by the two couples sprawled out on the sectional couch in their swimwear, Anna and Kelly in string bikinis and Archer and Paul in speedos. My cock was never limp that day, but there were moments – typically, those of the most intense humiliation – when it was harder than others. Seeing the four fit young bodies in all (or at least, most of) their glory was one of them. And while my gaze naturally was first drawn to Anna’s toned, long legs and taut midriff, followed by Kelly shorter, but still attractive legs and pretty toes, I would be lying if I didn’t admit to admiration of the slender, muscular swimmer bodies of the two young men as well.
My eyes also drifted over Paul’s bare feet. It was the first time I had seen bare the feet I had kissed in the bar through his sneakers or in the apartment through his thick wool socks. I was curious, naturally, but didn’t want to be too obvious, so quickly averted my glance before getting a good look. I need not have worried, however, as I would be spending a great deal of time up close and personal with his bare feet (and Anna’s) in the months that followed, starting a few minutes later. Paul did not have the same obsession with having his feet worshipped as Luke did, but there is no question that he greatly enjoyed the power trip of having an older authority figure quite literally at his feet.
I must also confess that in addition to dwelling as long as I dared on the breasts of Anna (like Brooke’s, ample but not overly large) and Kelly (slightly larger and, to my mind, less proportional to her shorter frame), my eyes also flittered over the speedo-clad crotches of Paul and Archer. Speedos leave so little to the imagination. While I was mortified when forced to wear a speedo, my inadequacy on full display, these two young athletes were completely at ease. Their muscular, chiseled bodies were one explanation for that; the size of their bulges was another.
“Perhaps the professor page can stop ogling our bodies long enough to get us all another round of drinks,” said Anna.
Kelly said, “I think he’s staring more at the boys’ bodies than he is at ours, Anna. I’m jealous.”
“Most cucks are closet fags, so that’s no surprise,” said Paul.
I wanted to object that I wasn’t gay, closet or otherwise. I wanted to say, “What about you, someone who enjoys humiliating other males, forcing them to dress in feminine clothing, spanking their bare bottoms with your bare hands, perhaps other, more intimate things….What does all of that make you?” But I dared not I was say anything of the kind. Instead I simply confirmed their drink orders and hurried off to make them, checking on my stroganoff. And being honest with myself, while I knew beyond a doubt that I was not homosexual, I did have to admit that I was not immune to the physical attractions of dominant, young alpha males. Did I have this attraction prior to the events of the last seven months when Luke came onto the scene like a cyclone? Probably on some level, yes, but it had been latent. No longer.
When I returned to the living room with a serving tray holding their four cocktails, trying hard not to spill any of them, Paul said, “We know our page boy knows how to clean shoes, but what about other personal duties? Who besides me would like a foot massage?”
“That sounds like an excellent idea, dude. Count me in,” said Archer.
“You two boys go ahead. If he does a good job, Kelly and I may have him massage our feet as well,” said Anna.
“Start with Archer. On your knees, of course, page,” said Paul.
“Yes sir,” I said, kneeling before Archer, and beginning to work on his feet with warmup twists and arch rubs. His feet were somewhat calloused, but well formed.
“Ah, that feels good. He’s actually not too bad at this,” Archer said.
Pointing at my crotch, Kelly said, “Look, his little cock is stiff again. Are you excited to massage my boyfriend’s feet, professor?” As she spoke, she pressed her toes lightly against my cock through my tights. It surprised me that it was Kelly, rather than Anna (or even Paul), to first touch my liberated cock.
“No, Princess Kelly.”
“No? But your little stiffie says otherwise. Are you not being honest with us, professor?” She pressed a little harder with her foot, smiling wickedly.
In truth, the entire situation was incredibly arousing and, therefore, incredibly humiliating. Which made it still more arousing. It was a viscous cycle, one which I had been getting increasingly used to with Luke and Brooke. But the dynamics with my students and Archer were different, and, if anything, more intense. Was it the greater age disparity, the bigger inversion of authority, the fact that there was an element of coercion involved? All of the above? Brooke would tell me that I think about these things too much. She would counsel me to go with flow, enjoy the game, embrace the sheer eroticism of it all. I tried valiantly to do just that. Can one be valiant in accepting servitude and abuse?, I wondered (see how I over analyze everything?!)
Lancelot would no doubt have answered my question in the affirmative. Yet, his servitude was solely to Guinevere, and the abuse and humiliations he suffered were solely to satisfy her commands, her whims. Whereas Brooke was not even aware of my servitude to my students. Still, I could tell myself – with some degree of honesty – that the indignities I was suffering at their hands were because of my devotion to Brooke. Because I was in their power as a direct consequence of my obedience to Luke, and I was obedient to Luke for Brooke and Brooke alone. The frail heartbeat of chivalry was still detectable (to me, at least). Perhaps the time had come to tell Brooke of my predicament with Paul and Anna? But there was something so shameful about it. Would it diminish me in Brooke’s eyes in some different, profound and irrevocable way? Or would she hug me, perhaps even thank me for my sacrifice, and tell me everything will be okay?
These were the myriad thoughts that ran through my head as I also contemplated my response to Kelly’s fraught question. “No, princess, I mean, it’s all of your feet…,” I answered,lamely.
She snickered. “Well, you are the Liitle Foot Page, so I guess it makes sense that you’re turned on by feet.”
“Pretty much all submissive guys are turned on by feet. Issac is insane for my feet,” said Anna. You will recall that Issac was the young male slave in Paul’s and Anna’s stable.
“Not just submissive men. Cindy loves worshiping your feet too, babe,” Paul said to Anna. If you recall, Cindy (who, like Issac, I had not yet met at that point) was another member of Paul’s and Anna’s stable of slaves, a fellow student at the college whose intense crush on Paul was not reciprocated. Instead, he put her squarely into “ the friendzone,” eventually introducing her to Anna. Cindy was now a submissive servant to both of them, grateful to be part of Paul’s life under any circumstances.
Anna said to Kelly, “I don’t know about you, but I love having my feet pampered and having my toes sucked, and love the sight of submissive creatures groveling at my feet. At the same time, I couldn’t imagine in a million fucking years being the one doing the sucking or groveling. I have no desire to be that close to anyone’s feet.”
“I know exactly what you mean. I wouldn’t even want to kiss Archer if he sucked my toes. Ew, gross,” said Kelly, with a little shudder.
Archer interjected, “Yo’ve got nothing to worry about there, darling. You have pretty feet, but I have zero desire to kiss or lick them.”
“Or course you don’t, you’re not a perv, like the good professor here. Professor pervert, kiss the bottom of the foot you’re massaging. You don’t mind having your feet kissed, do you sweetheart?” Kelly asked Archer.
“No, I have no problem being worshipped. And I’m secure enough in my masculinity that I don’t care if it’s a submissive cuck like this loser doing the worshiping.”
“That’s what I love about you, sweetheart. You’re masculine, dominant AND open minded. That’s like icing on a yummy cake.,” Kelly said, as she started to kiss Archer passionately. “Professor, keep kissing the bottoms of my man’s feet while we make out.”
I kissed the balls of Archer’s feet, trying to avoid the callouses. I wondered: aren’t swimmers more prone to plantar warts, walking around all those bacteria-riddled pools and locker rooms in their bare feet? I knew plantar warts are highly contagious. Could I get warts on my lips or in my mouth? I made a mental note to research this on-line later. From extensive experience with Brooke and Luke, I was well aware of the aphrodisiac effect my submission could have on a couple dominating me. The exact reasons for this still remain something of a mystery to me. Just like you have to be a masochist to understand certain things, I guess you have to be a dominant or a sadist to understand others.
As if reading my thoughts, Anna said, “I think submissives’ brains must be wired differently. They have to be for them to enjoy feet so much. I mean, sometimes after we work out at the gym, Paul and I will rest our feet right on Cindy’s face. Can you imagine? Our sweaty, wet socks covering her nose and mouth. You’d think she’d have some self-respect and tell us to go to hell. Or, at a minimum, that she’d complain about the smell. Not that my feet smell, of course, but Paul’s smell something awful after he’s been working out,” she smiled at him.
“Yeah, right, babe,” Paul replied. He then explained to Kelly and Archer, “Don’t believe anything she says about her feet not smelling. The smell of her foot sweat is overpowering.”
“Bullshit,” Anna said, smiling and hitting him on the shoulder. “But, like I was saying, far from protesting, Cindy actually inhales the smell of our sweat socks and our sweaty feet. She almost looks as if she’s in ecstasy, like she’s smelling perfume or fresh flowers or something. And she even looks happy when she’s licking the toe jam and lint from between my toes. It’s disgusting. But it’s pretty funny watching her. And I like the sensation of her tongue on my toes.”
“It’s what I’ve been telling you for awhile now, babe. Submissives are intellectually inferior. They’re sexual deviants. By humiliating and abusing them, we’re giving them what they want, what they need, in fact. So there’s no reason for us to feel bad when we mistreat them. We’re actually doing them a favor,” said Paul.
Paul was a Psychology major and fancied himself some sort of authority on this subject apparently, although it was clear to me that he was greatly oversimplifying what were, in reality, very complicated human relationship dynamics. He also had a facile understanding of human intelligence. Under different circumstances, I might have tried to engage him in a debate. But to have done so at that moment would have been the height of folly, so I kept my mouth shut and my fingers busy.
After spending 15 minutes on Archer’s feet, I massaged the feet of my three students for the same amount of time (timed by Paul). Paul and Anna kissed each other while I worked on Anna’s feet, much as Archer and Kelly had done. Each insisted I respectfully kiss the bottoms of their feet after finishing the massage. Paul was last. While I massaged his feet, Anna prodded my balls with her high heel shoe, laughing as my cock twitched through my tights. Having been denied release for so long, my biggest fear was that all of the stimuli – the scantily-clad, young bodies, the humiliating dissection of my fetishes, the pressure of Anna’s foot (which she occasionally brushed against my the underside of my shaft) – would cause me to ejaculate. The thought of that was beyond mortifying, so I did everything I could possibly do to distract myself mentally.
Their ongoing conversation about feet did not make my task an easy one.
“Rollins, you’re actually pretty good at this. In a sensible world, you would be spending your time in your classes massaging all of your students’ feet rather than lecturing to them. It’s a better use of your talents.” There did seem to be a general consensus that I have a knack (was Paul’s term, “talent,” too strong a word) for giving foot massages. I guess there’s at least one thing I can do well with my hands after all, I thought to myself.
“Now, Paul. Don’t be cruel. I’ve had some pretty good courses with Professor Foot Page. I don’t see any reason why he couldn’t lecture while he massages everyone’s feet.” Kelly giggled.
Anna snickered. “Can you picture it? I can. He would be dressed just as he is now, crawling from student to student.”
“Yes, and then he could massage the feet of all of the other faculty members of the English department,” said Kelly, giggling.
“I wouldn’t be surprised if he wasn’t already massaging Neil Lawson’s feet. Lawson already has him fetching his coffee. Or he did today, at least. There’s definitely something going on there,” said Paul.
I couldn’t decide whether to be relieved Paul didn’t know any specifics or to be distressed that he was so suspicious – and that his instincts were correct. I remained silent.
Paul continued, “He obviously has a big foot fetish, like most submissives. Rollins, you ought to consider having a whole chapter dedicated to foot worship in that book you’re working on. You’ll be a real authority on the subject before we’re finished with you.”
Putting aside the implicit threat in his last remark, Paul actually might be on to something, I thought. I had been struggling with the organization of my book, which had really evolved quite a bit over the last six months. While I still aimed to show how medieval courtly poetry was what started the rich history of male masochism in western literature, I was increasingly focusing on contemporary BDSM cuckold fiction and what had clearly been an explosion in interest in that lifestyle in recent years, globally.
Miraculously, I was able to get through the massages and constant teasing without ejaculating. About halfway into my 5-hour stay at the condo, I served the four of them dinner, trying to remember to curtsy at all the required moments. They had changed back into the clothes they were wearing before their swim, Anna and Kelly in short skirts, stockings and heels and Paul and Archer in jeans and polo shirts. Anna kept her little notepad next to her plate on the table, and occasionally wrote in it, causing me further anxiety. When not going back and forth between the kitchen and dining room, I was expected to stand by the table at attention – to refill glasses of the wine I had purchased, fold the napkins of anyone who got up from the table, or do anything else ordered of me. My cock tented out my tights the entire time, of course. My self consciousness about this at least had the advantage of taking my mind off my hunger somewhat, as I enviously watched the four of them eat the meal I had prepared (I sampled the stroganoff as I was cooking it, and thought it came out quite well).
Anna invited everyone to critique the meal afterwards, and it was generally agreed upon that the beef and mushroom sauce was delicious, but that the pasta was overcooked. The salad and dressing was a success, but the Italian green beans less so. I was grateful that Anna had not required me to also prepare dessert.
“Well, Professor maid, it seems that both punishments and a reward are in order for your uneven meal and service. You also earned demerits for failure to curtsy on at least four occasions – I’m sure that I missed others – and continued deficiencies in your technique. Also for how you walked in heels earlier. The mushy pasta and beans were also unacceptable. On the other hand, the stroganoff itself was excellent, as was the salad and dressing. The boys will administer your punishment, and Kelly and I will grant you your reward.”
I replied, with a curtsy, “Yes, princess. Thank you, princess.” The truth of the matter is I didn’t know which of the two caused me greater dread: the punishment or the reward.
“Which should we give him first?”, asked Kelly.
Paul said, “Definitely the punishment first. We need to leave enough time for the redness of his ass to fade in case Luke or his wife want to punish him as well when he gets home.”
“And a submissive freak like him will probably enjoy his reward more with a sore ass. I’ve calculated that he’s owed 120 spanks. 100 from today, and the 20 we didn’t give him on Tuesday that he was due. Which one oy you strapping young men will do the honors?”, said Anna.
“This is going to be so much fun to watch,” said Kelly gleefully.
“It’s going to be hot,” said Anna. “I get all tingly watching Paul punish the slaves. Especially the beta males and sissies.”
“I know you do, girlfriend. Me too,” said Kelly. “I think it’s only fair that each of the boys give him sixty spanks, so you and I get to enjoy this equally,” said Kelly.
“Sounds good. Okay with you guys?,” said Anna.
“Fine. After you,” Paul said to Archer.
“Happy to dish out some discipline to the old cuck. Should we take him up to the dungeon and put him over the bench?”, asked Archer.
“No need to. We have to use our hands for now because we can’t leave any asting marks on his ass. So just take him over your knee,” Paul replied.
“Oh, how I wish we could cane or strap him! I think the cane is a lot more persuasive than just your hands. And the welts can be lovely,” said Anna.
“Someday, babe. You just have to be patient,” said Paul. “Not one of your strong suits, I realize.”
“Don’t worry, ladies. I will make sure his spanking is plenty persuasive. Get over my knees, old man,” commanded Archer.
“Yes, sir.” I draped myself over his knees, incredibly ashamed as I felt my hard cock press through my tights against the jeans covering his firm thighs.
“Do you feel his little stiffie on your leg, honey?,” Kelly asked, tittering.
“I do, but not for long. I’m going to beat it out of him. By the time I’m finished with him, he’ll be as limp as one of the overcooked noodles he served us,” said Archer. I felt his sizable hand resting on the center of my tights-clad bottom. Without warning, he lifted his hand and brought it down sharply on my right cheek.
I typically tried to be stoic in such moments, but the ferocity of his strike (and the suddenness of it) caused me to cry out, “Ouch!” I heard the amusement of our audience.
“That’s right, honey. Give it to him good! Pull down his tights and give it to him on the bare,” said Kelly.
Archer did as Kelly requested. What followed were repeated, loud smacking sounds of flesh striking flesh – as Archer carefully alternated cheeks – accompanied by a slow but steady buildup of pain. The tights had offered negligible protection. The sound was the big difference, but it seemed to provide a more satisfying sensory experience for my three students, who were witnessing the remarkable spectacle of their professor being punished like a naughty child. By the 30th spank or so, the pain was intense. And Archer was correct, my cock had deflated under his relentless assault on my bottom. Not as severe as a cane or strapping certainly, but a hand spanking that rivaled Luke’s in intensity.
I heard Kelly say, “Now that’s what I’m talking about. Look at that shade of red, will you?”
“Not as lovely as welts, but not bad,” added Anna.
By the 50th spank, my attempt at stoicism was a distant memory.
“Please, sir. Please don’t hit me so hard.” He ignored me, delivering the final ten with extra zeal, if anything. When he was finished, it was difficult for my mind to process the fact that my chastisement was only halfway complete.
After Archer pushed me unceremoniously onto the hardwood floor, my tights still lowered to just below my poor, tenderized bottom, Kelly ordered me to stand up. I started to pull up my tights as I stood, but she said with surprising sternness, “Did I say you could pull up your tights, professor? Leave them down so we can all get a proper look at your little cock. Turn around and stand before us. Put your hands on top of your head.”
When I complied with her order, my cock was still quite limp, somewhat shriveled even. But almost as soon as I stood up, I felt it began to stir under their scrutiny.
“Look at the tiny, hairless thing.,” said Anna, smiling contemptuously.
“Pathetic,” said Archer, with a sneer.
“Oh, look. It’s starting to get bigger. That was quick! It must like all of the attention,” laughed Kelly.
With each humiliating comment, it grew harder. My ass was burning, but no longer under a constant barrage (for the moment, at least), the sensation only fueled my involuntary, indeed most unwanted, arousal.
“It looks like it’s up to me beat his hard-on back out of him,” said Paul, patting his knee. “Come over here, Rollins, so I can finish your correction. Leave your tights down. You have 60 more coming.”
As this was unthinkable to me, I felt compelled to try to negotiate – or, perhaps it would be more accurate to say, grovel. When I walked over to where Paul was sitting, rather than lie over his knees, I dropped to my own, at his feet.
“My lord, Sir Archer’s punishment was quite severe. I’m not sure that I can take another 60 right now. I beg you to show some mercy to your lowly page by deferring some of my punishment until next Tuesday.” I then grasped his right foot with my hands and began kissing the tops of his brown, leather shoe. “Please, my lord.”
That Paul was triumphant, bringing me to my knees and abasing myself at his feet – even without being expressly commanded to do so – was clearly evident in his supremely smug, self-satisfied expression. It was painful to behold, but not as painful as another 60 spanks on my already wounded bottom would be. Groveling was a skill that I been refining over the last several months with Luke, so I continued my efforts.
“Please, my lord. Surely you and Princess Anna have some more dry cleaning that needs to be done or some other errands that need to be run. Your humble page is at your disposal.”
“This is a trip,” said Kelly.
“It IS a sign of strength for a ruler to occasionally grant mercy. What do you think, babe?”, said Anna.
“I’m considering it,” said Paul. “Sharing information might help your cause, page. Tell me, what is the story with you bringing Neil Lawson a cup of coffee today? That coffee shop is on the other side of campus. Is that a service that you regularly provide for him? Before you answer, you should know that if I sense you’re not being completely truthful, I’ll add 20 spanks to your punishment now, rather than reduce or defer any of it. If I find out you’re lying after the fact, the consequences for you will be dire.”
To say that I felt somewhat trapped at that moment would be an understatement. I certainly didn’t want to reveal any information to Paul about the nature of my relationship with my colleague, and yet I felt that not doing so was perilous. The slippery slope, again.
So, I continued my descent. “I bring Neil a cup of coffee four days a week, my lord.”
“Why? Are you his lackey or something? You’re senior to him on the faculty, right? Shouldn’t he be the one bringing you coffee, if anything?”
“It’s true that Neil doesn’t have tenure yet but he’s up for tenure in the spring. But it’s not like junior faculty members run errands or anything like that for senior faculty members. It’s just that Neil knows that I’m on a diet and feels that the exercise will do me good. He takes a personal interest in my health and physical fitness, as my friend.”
“Sounds like bullshit to me. I’ve seen Neil lifting weights with Luke at the gym a couple of times. It looks like they’re getting to be pretty chummy.”
“Yes, my lord, they like to work out together. They bond over sports.”
“Interesting. Is Neil aware of your weekly weigh-ins and punishments for failing to lose weight?”, Paul continued his interrogation.
“Yes, my lord,” I answered, deeply ashamed.
“Well, you’ve definitely lost quite a bit of weight, professor. Keep up the good work!”, said Kelly, with seeming sincerity. What a surreal moment this was, I thought to myself.
“Thank you, Princess Kelly.”
“Does Luke allow Neil to witness your weigh-ins and punishments,” Paul asked.
“Yes, my lord. Twice.”
“Keep kissing my shoes when you’re not speaking. Does Luke allow Neil to participate in your punishments?”
“Yes, my lord. Once.” I started kissing the bottom of his right shoe.
Being humiliated and punished by Luke was shameful. Neil’s participation in my punishment and humiliation made it infinitely more so. Being humiliated and punished by my students was incredibly shameful. Them knowing that Neil, another professor in my department, not only was aware of, but even took an active part in my punishment and humiliation was indescribably shameful. It was more than a slippery slope. It was quicksand. And I was sinking deeper by the second.
Paul was not yet done with his interrogation, however. “What other services do you provide for Professor Lawson, besides bringing him coffee?”
I hesitated. But mindful of Paul’s warning (he did seem to have some mysterious ability to intuit and/or discover things about me), I came clean, thereby deepening the pit in which I was sinking: “On Wednesdays, when he has several back-to-back classes, I have started to massage his feet in his office.”
“I knew it! Last week when I walked into his office and you were there, you were acting very nervous. I saw his shoes on the floor next to his desk. There’s not really many reasons to take off your shoes and socks on a freezing day. I had a sneaky suspicion that that’s what was going on. You’re an even bigger beta than I could’ve conceived of, Rollins. Is there anyone you’re not subservient to?”
“Yes, my lord….I mean, prior to 10 months ago…I wasn’t submissive to anyone….except in…my…my, imagination. Everything’s different now…”
“You’re leading a male masochist’s dream! Lick the bottom of my shoe. Do you realize how extraordinarily fortunate you are, old man?”
“Yes, my lord,” I said before reapplying my tongue to the sole of Paul’s shoe.
“This discussion has been very useful. You’ve given me all kinds of ideas about how to further enhance your submissive experience to make it truly exceptional. To make it world class. All the building blocks are already in place. We just need to find a way to integrate them,” Paul said.
“Look how hard his baby cock is! He loves the idea!”, said Anna.
“Now lie down across my lap. The new information I learned just now has caused me to feel magnanimous, so I will grant you mercy by deferring 20 of your spanks until Tuesday and pardoning 10 altogether,” Paul said.
At that exact moment, having my remaining punishment cut in half (at least for that day), I was more grateful about the present reprieve than concerned about any possible future danger that might result from Paul’s increased knowledge. It was only later, during many restless, sleep-deprived nights, that I began to really worry about the possible implications of Paul knowing that I was also submissive to my fellow professor.
“You are very kind, my lord,” I said as his hand came crashing down on the center of my ass. The irony of the moment produced hearty laughter from both Anna and Kelly.
My tights were still lowered, so my erect, bare cock pressed against the denim – a coarser variety than Archer’s – of Paul’s jeans. How much shame could one person endure in a single evening? But it was only 8:30 PM; I still had over an hour left with my young tormentors.
Whereas Archer’s technique was to alternate cheeks, Paul preferred picking one spot and sticking to it for repeated spanks. He focused on the center of my bottom, initially 10 strikes where the crack of my ass began and then moving methodically lower until the final 20 were on the area closest to my scrotum. Unfortunately, Paul hit harder today than on my last visit, no doubt making sure he at least matched the force of Archer in front of the two young women, who were watching with rapt attention. As he delivered the final twenty or so spanks, the pain was searing and I began kicking my legs more and more and squirming around on his lap in a futile attempt to alleviate it, or to escape. On the bright side, my erection quickly subsided under the intensity of his assault.
“Stay still, or I will add the 30 back,” he warned, sternly, grabbing my right arm and holding it tightly behind my back with his free hand.
When he was finally done, he roughly pulled up my tights, producing a wedgie effect, and almost playfully swatted my bottom twice, saying, “You may get up now. Go stand in the corner. Hands behind your head.”
I did as commanded, but Kelly objected, “Why did you pull his tights back up? I want to see what shade of red his ass is now.”
“Lower your tights, page boy,” ordered Anna.
“Yes, princess,” I said, following her command. My eyes were wet with tears, but I was hoping they wouldn’t notice. I wanted to at least deprive them of the satisfaction that they caused me to cry.
“Do I hear sniffling, professor? Did getting spanked by his big, mean student make the poor, wimpy professor cry?”
“No, Princess Kelly.”
“I’m not sure I believe you,” Kelly replied.
“Look at his ass. The color reminds me of raw hamburger meat. Are you sure it will heel quickly enough, babe?”, asked Anna.
“Archer and I hit him hard, but not hard enough for any permanent bruises. The color will fade quickly,” said Paul. “Sort of like a sunset. An intense color that fades quickly.”
“Too bad. It’s such a lovely color, “ said Kelly.
After 10 minutes, during which they passed around a joint and continued to tease me, Anna said, “You’re right, the color is starting to fade already. Turn around, you naughty page boy, and face us. Keep your hands on your head.”
“Well, the color of ass may be like setting like the sun, but his little cock is compensating for it,” said Kelly, with a giggle.
“Pathetic,” commented the eloquent Archer.
I looked down to see my cock standing at attention through my tights, wishing I could simply disappear. I stood there shamefully for another twenty minutes as they finished a second joint.
After they finished, Anna said, “We’re running out of time before the good professor turns into a pumpkin. It’s time for your reward, professor. Obeisance!”
Recalling last week, I quickly dropped to the floor down on my belly and clasped my hands behind my back.
“Very good. You remembered,” Anna said. “Now slither on your belly to our feet, as we taught you.”
I began my humiliating belly crawl across the floor – only a few feet, but it felt like many more – my hard cock grinding into the hardwood, once again fearful that the combination of the potent humiliation and the stimulus to my cock would result in me ejaculating en route. Fortunately, it did not. Once I reached them, I craned my neck up to look at the four pairs of shoes hovering above me, and planted a kiss on the top of each, as I had been instructed during my last visit.
Anna then said, “Kelly, switch places with Paul, please.”
Once she did, Anna ordered me to lie on my back next to where she and Kelly were seated on the sofa. Rolling over, I winced with pain as my bottom touched the floor. From experience, I knew that sitting would be uncomfortable for the next day or two.
She then said to Kelly, “Do you want to provide the olfactory stimulation or the tactile stimulation?”
As if this was a routine occurrence in their lives, Kelly said, “Oh, definitely the tactile stimulation. It will be fun to toy with his little dicklet. Besides, based on what Paul said about your foot sweat, you’re the one who can provide the best olfactory stimulation.” Kelly chuckled.
“Very funny,” said Anna, smiling. “Very well.”
Anna removed her heels and placed her moist stocking-clad feet directly over my nose and mouth. Kelly kept her heels on and began pressing the toe of her right heel firmly into my balls, through my tights. She then began lightly kicking my balls. It was mildly painful, but not so painful that it caused my hard cock to deflate; it was painful yet still highly arousing, a well calibrated approach that suggested to me that Kelly had some experience tormenting others along similar lines.
“Take deep breaths, professor,” Anna ordered.
Her feet indeed had a strong, distinct odor, at once malodorous and fragrant, sour yet sweet. As I inhaled, Kelly began grinding her heel directly into the underside of my cock, pressing it into my body. Only about three minutes into this sensuous torture, my cock erupted, my semen seeping copiously through my white tights. I groaned involuntarily as I orgasmed, a groan of simultaneous ecstasy and despair. Because I hadn’t come in so long, I produced what was for me at least, a prodigious amount. What appalling, exquisite humiliation! I tried to imagine what it would be like facing my three students in class next week, or for that matter, any time again for the rest of my life. It was certainly a moment that would never be forgotten by anyone in that room.
“It looks like our professor enjoyed his reward,” Kelly said, snickering. “And I could tell when he was about to shoot his wad, so I moved my foot away just in the nick of time.” She picked up her heel and pointed at it, “See no icky professor goo. It’s clean.”
Anna said to me, “You see, being enslaved to us is not all about punishment. There are rewards as well, occasionally.”
“Yes, thank you Princess Anna, Princess Kelly.”
Well, at least I wouldn’t have to lick up my ejaculate this time. Paul threw me a towel. I was permitted to clean myself up and was then ordered to put the towel into the washing machine (by itself, as Anna didn’t want the towel I soiled to be near any of their clothes or linen). I then cleared up the kitchen. Finally, I was allowed to change back into my street clothes. Before I left the apartment, I was required one last time to bow down before each of them, kiss their feet and thank them for allowing me to be of service. I then went down the elevator, relieved to see a different doorman (one who I had never encountered before), who more or less ignored me as I exited the building.
I pulled up to my house at 10:20 P.M., surprised to see the light on in the kitchen. When Brooke and Luke went out to dinner on Thursdays, Luke usually drove, so it was not unusual to see Brooke’s car in the driveway. Maybe they had just forgotten to turn off the lights?
But as I entered the kitchen, I was alarmed to see Brooke sitting alone at the table. Expecting to be asked where I had been, I started trying to think of plausible explanations.
However, Brooke simply looked up at me. She had a glum expression on her face and her eyes were bloodshot, as if she had been crying. Something was definitely up.
“Hi, honey,” I said, nervously.
“Hi.”
“Where’s Luke?”
“He’s gone.”
“Will he back later, or is he staying at his house tonight?”
“He’ll be staying at his house every night from now on.”
“What are you talking about? What happened?”
“Go get a bottle of scotch and two glasses. I need a drink.”

Hi! My babe is about 6 weeks old and I have exclusively pumped for her since day 1. I thought it would be best to give her bottles to let others bond with her and also so I don’t have to worry about the transition back to work. I hate pumping and felt like I was missing out trying nursing, so I tried to see if she would still latch this late in the game and she does! I want to start nursing her during the day and giving bottles after 5pm so her dad can feed her but I’m doing a slow transition by nursing 1-2 times per day in place of a bottle and adding on.
Here are my questions: 1. Do you really weigh your baby every time they eat to figure out how much they got?

1. How long were your nursing sessions starting out? So far I’ve done 20 min. per breast. Is that good? When do I know she’s had enough? She loves to eat so relying on hunger cues is kind of tough with her.
   
2. When do you pump if you are nursing all day? Can you still grow a freezer stash?
   

My(37M) wife (33F), together 9 years, married 4, is struggling, and it’s a bit complex. Divorce is a real possibility for us, and will taint anything I say to her. I want to make sure whatever treatment actions she takes are protected.
About a year ago, she (a nurse in a psych hospital) was attacked by a patient and kicked in the head. She received a concussion and her work handled it horribly. Long story short, she ended up with considerable time off and poor follow up treatment, before finally leaving and getting a new job.
While off on worker’s comp, we racked up a considerable amount of CC debt, and were already working on a previously built up debt that we had gotten out of control.
She has always been a little bipolar (1pt away from a full blown diagnosis by a licensed doctor) and struggled with anxiety and impulse control, not bad, but it was there. However, since the attack, it has been almost crippling for her. She was bawling hysterically frequently about returning to work and even confided she was very depressed. She finally spoke to our doctor who started to treat her with some meds. She was horrible about following through and taking as prescribed, often missing or (I believe) increasing dosage. Nothing she was on was prone to abuse though. She had also missed her period several months in a row and failed both self and prescribed pregnancy tests.
Then we found out she was pregnant. It was a surprise, as we were actually getting diagnostics done where they had prepared us to possibly expect cancer. Through pregnancy, she was actually very good. I thought things were getting better. Certainly a little anxiety about finances, but it was actually a good thing, as it really woke her up to her spending habits and we were able to drastically cut our spend.
The pregnancy wasn’t unwanted, but was unexpected. We had began to think we couldn’t have kids, though never really considered fertility treatment. We had previously discussed her staying home until school-age if we had a kid and it was financially viable. However, in our current state, we would be unable to make ends meet without her working. I thought we were in agreement on this, both worked from home, and would attempt to avoid day care. We are both high earners, but have a lot of debt.
Then about three months ago our son was born. My wife’s labor was a mess, riddled with with preeclampsia, extended labor inducement, and ending with a c section. She was exhausted and had post partem preeclampsia too.
We got out of the hospital finally, and have basically had family staying with us since, between her parents or my dad.
As soon as her mom got here, she started pressuring me to agree for her to stay home and quit her job. I said if she could figure out a budget I would, but I don’t see a way. She through out bankruptcy, credit counseling, going to 1 car. I already had liquidated 401k to get out of her highest interest rate cards and like I said, her spend was now under control. But I just don’t see a way to make that happen.
She has been really irradic lately and has unilaterally extended her maternity leave without pay. She went ahead and took a new job that is weekends only and pays a little less, so that she can spend more time with the kid.
As part of our reduced spending, we moved to a much cheaper rent in the county. It’s in the worst school district/crime area, but still in a HCOLA area and above average, just the worst in the county.
During the move, her mom has been up to help watch the kid. In reality, my wife and her hang out most of the time. She will unpack a box here or there, but it’s been a month and still a mess. No cleaning is happening.
I have been doing all of the groceries, cooking, errands, moving the boxes, yard work. I understand she has issues going on, but I just can’t do this solo anymore. I am also taking the kid when he wakes up around 530a until her mom or her gets up, usually around 1000. My wife does take his midnight-0200 feeding and lay him down. I am also working full time, it’s WFH and I am fortunate to have pushed off a lot of projects, but it’s soon crunch time for me. I have avg 4 hours of sleep.
I am concerned, because things just are continuing to get worse. She takes great care of the kid, but I feel like she is neglecting so much responsibility. She thinks I am the AH for not blindly agreeing for her to not work. She has told me she has suicidal ideation and recently admitted to being fully suicidal prior to the pregnancy, then said with the kid, she would never go that route now, but just the other day when faced with her return to work date, made a reference about potentially killing herself. She denies that now.
She says she has post partem and the only thing that will work is her not worki. I have told her we can’t afford it but if she is getting treatment by a pro, and following their advice and that advice is to stay home while she continues treatment, I’ll figure out how to make it work.
The problem is, she isn’t pursuing any sort of treatment. She is incredibly smart, and will tell people what they want to hear. With the attack, she had a legitimate big lawsuit to pursue, got a lawyer, but really didn’t follow any treatment plans from the psychiatrist or lawyer. I let it go, as they were admittedly playing things up for a lawsuit, but they weren’t all wrong either.
Her mom is all sort of diagnosed mental illnesses and also a master at manipulating diagnosis to get whatever pill she wants. I fear her influence on my wife. She also encourages her to not work and the impulsive spending. I am terrified my wife will go down this path.
My wife has been threatening divorce and says me wanting to get her help is just to get out of child support . Prior to the injury, we were struggling already but working through it. The aforementioned debt, stale sex life, porn- normalish things for 9-yr relationship. I won’t say they were perfect, but they weren’t impending doom and we worked the problem.
I need her to understand that I think a lot of this is unhealthy and she is ill. If she I truly getting treatment, we may be able to save the relationship, don’t even know if we would want to honestly, but things are to the point I am not convinced that with out me there to pick up the slack, she would be able to fully take care of the kid. When she is sleepy, she just shuts down. We made it one night with breast feeding before she said it was too tiring. If she has slept less than 5 hours, she will wait until I get the baby, even if I had like an hour. I have chalked a lot of it up to birth recovery, but it’s only getting worse.
If I knew she was stable and getting real treatment, I wouldn’t ever use that against her. At the same time, current state, I don’t trust my son to the care if I am not there. I think a child needs his mom more than his dad at this age and want him to have both, but not like this.
Her mom I think is part of the problem too, because she will comment about how much I do and is complimentary, but also doesn’t curb my wife when she is neglecting things. She is in a tough spot, but I think we are to the point where wife needs a reality check.
I am open to feedback on my actions, but don’t need any disparaging commentary on her or her family please. My sole interest is getting her into a mental state that I can trust to do what it takes for our kid.
The only thing I can think of is a 72 hold and force to her to get cleared by a doctor, but i am 1) not confident we are there, 2) not confident she wouldn’t mask it with her background, and 3) it would absolutely kill any chance at fixing things. 4) I’d prefer there to not be a legal record of her treatment, for her sake. Things could well end in divorce, we both see it as at least a possibility, and she is smart enough to understand potential implications.

• HEARING AIDS AND COCHLEAR IMPLANTS: I see a lot of tinnitus fellows say HA’s and CI’s cause tinnitus to be exacerbated, this isn’t true. The tuning process can If there are errors whilst tuning them, they may exacerbate symptoms but all the same, they are not considered as a cause for tinnitus. In fact, the use of such aids is one of the most effective ways of treatment. It can take from activation to six months to become effective for tinnitus and during this period, your brain is utilizing notch therapy and tinnitus retraining therapy to tune the brain into fading the ring. Scientific study show and according to WebMD, that about 68% of people with tinnitus feel relief or notice their tinnitus is less noticeable while using hearing aids. Additional, hearing aids carry tinnitus support by playing white noise. This device does not cause tinnitus.
• TAKING OTOTOXIC DRUGS: It's not recommended to avoid all ototoxic drugs, as many are life-saving medications. Instead, you should weigh the risks and benefits of taking an ototoxic drug with your healthcare provider based on your diagnosis and prescription. In many cases, your doctor may be able to adjust your dosage or recommend a different medication that doesn't cause tinnitus as a side effect. If stopping the medication isn't an option, your provider can help you develop a long-term care plan to manage symptoms. However, it isn’t okay to stop taking your medication or avoid taking the medication you were provided by your provider. If you feel like your medication currently may have caused side effects, then immediately contact your provider, but don’t go cold turkey.
• BEING IN SILENCE: Some tinnitus fellows I’ve seen have said to keep in a silent room and rest, however, this isn’t the best option for most. silence can make tinnitus worse. If you have hearing devices that provide sound therapy, then you already understand how background noise can help alleviate tinnitus. However, having good relaxation techniques combat Tinnitus in two ways; they help physically relax your body, as well as helping you deal with, or ignore, the sound of Tinnitus. Usually keeping a sound generator or TV can help you significantly. IF YOU HAVE HYPERACUSIS avoid spending too much time in a completely quiet environment. Being deprived of auditory stimulation can lead to hypersensitivity to sounds. Your ears get used to the silence and can no longer bear to be in a noisy environment. You need to gradually expose yourself to the best of your ability.
• NEGATIVITY: I’ve seen a lot of negativity from a lot of people that have 10/10 tinnitus. These are unfortunate times for them and they are in a rough spot. Ignore them. Your tinnitus is completely different or can be somewhat beneficial. However, no matter what they say, tinnitus is manageable. Even if your tinnitus is 10/10. It’s hard and it sucks that’s why they are miserable. But it doesn’t mean yours will ever get that bad or be so insufferable. Life is beautiful, even with tinnitus. Spread love and joy no matter the circumstance.
• If I missed anything let me know and I’ll address them.

DAY: MAY 30 2024
5-30-2024

WHAT ARE NOOTROPICS AND DO THEY REALLY BOOST YOUR BRAIN?

Humans have long been searching for a “magic elixir” to make us smarter, and improve our focus and memory. This includes traditional Chinese medicine used thousands of years ago to improve cognitive function. Now we have nootropics, also known as smart drugs, brain boosters or cognitive enhancers. You can buy these gummies, chewing gum, pills and skin patches online, or from supermarkets, pharmacies or petrol stations. You don’t need a prescription or to consult a health professional. But do nootropics actually boost your brain? Here’s what the science says. What
5-30-2024

STUDY REVEALS IMPORTANT HEALTH MARKERS

BIPS has made significant progress in identifying health markers that are crucial for a long and healthy life. Led by Prof. Dr. Krasimira Aleksandrova and in close collaboration with the German Institute of Human Nutrition Potsdam-Rehbruecke (DIfE), the research provides valuable insights for healthy aging. In the study published in the journal Age and Ageing, Aleksandrova and her team analyzed specific combinations of molecular markers reflecting various biological processes as possible indicators of healthy aging. The focus was particularly
5-30-2024

STUDY SHOWS AI HEALTH COACH LOWERS BLOOD PRESSURE AND BOOSTS ENGAGEMENT IN PATIENTS WITH HYPERTENSION

Architecture of data transmission. Participant data were collected from Bluetooth-enabled blood pressure (BP) monitors, wearable devices, and a mobile app–based questionnaire. Data were uploaded through the respective application programming interfaces (APIs) to our app server, where the individualized analysis was carried out before delivering recommendations to participants. A new study in JMIR Cardio shows that a fully digital, artificial intelligence (AI)–driven lifestyle coaching program can effectively reduce blood pressure (BP) in adults with hypertension. This AI-based program leverages data from wearable activity trackers and
5-30-2024

SNAPPING PHOTOS OF OUR FOOD COULD BE GOOD FOR US, STUDY SUGGESTS

New Curtin University research reveals taking pictures of food isn’t just content for our social media feeds, but could be the key to improving people’s diets. The feeding study saw researchers measure the weight of meals, which were then provided to participants over a day for breakfast, lunch and dinner. “Accuracy of energy and nutrient intake estimation versus observed intake using four technology-assisted dietary assessment methods: a randomized crossover feeding study” was published in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition. Participants compared different technology-assisted methods to recall what they had
5-30-2024

PARENTS ARE INCREASINGLY SAYING THEIR CHILD IS ‘DYSREGULATED.’ WHAT DOES THAT ACTUALLY MEAN?

Welcome aboard the roller coaster of parenthood, where emotions run wild, tantrums reign supreme and love flows deep. As children reach toddlerhood and beyond, parents adapt to manage their child’s big emotions and meltdowns. Parenting terminology has adapted too, with more parents describing their child as “dysregulated.” But what does this actually mean? More than an emotion Emotional dysregulation refers to challenges a child faces in recognizing and expressing emotions, and managing emotional reactions in social settings. This may involve either suppressing emotions or displaying exaggerated and intense emotional responses
5-30-2024

WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SHYNESS AND SOCIAL ANXIETY?

The terms “shyness” and “social anxiety” are often used interchangeably because they both involve feeling uncomfortable in social situations. However, feeling shy, or having a shy personality, is not the same as experiencing social anxiety (short for “social anxiety disorder”). Here are some of the similarities and differences, and what the distinction means. How are they similar? It can be normal to feel nervous or even stressed in new social situations or when interacting with new people. And everyone differs in how comfortable they feel when interacting
5-30-2024

EYE EXERCISES TO IMPROVE SIGHT—IS THERE ANY SCIENCE BEHIND THEM? AN OPHTHALMOLOGIST IS SKEPTICAL

You may have seen advertisements claiming to eliminate the need for eyeglasses through vision therapy or vision training—basically, eye exercises. These exercises include putting pressure on or palming the eye; eye movement exercises; or straining to read by using the wrong prescription glasses to “train” the eyes. As a professor of ophthalmology—and as an eye doctor who has seen thousands of patients—I can tell you that no study to date shows strong evidence that these exercises eliminate the need for glasses or offer any long-term significant benefits. The science simply
5-30-2024

HOW COMMUNITY STRESS AFFECTS BLACK AMERICANS’ MENTAL HEALTH AND WELL-BEING

Residential segregation is an example of the long history of structural racism in the United States. Black Americans are more likely to live in low-quality neighborhoods, which contributes to disparities in health outcomes. A new study from the University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign looks at how community stress affects the mental and emotional health of Black men and women in the U.S. “Community stress refers to the effects of living in disadvantaged areas. This includes objective aspects, such as buildings in disrepair and lower median income. There is also a subjective
5-30-2024

GENE VARIANTS FORETELL THE BIOLOGY OF FUTURE BREAST CANCERS, STUDY FINDS

A Stanford Medicine study of thousands of breast cancers has found that the gene sequences we inherit at conception are powerful predictors of the breast cancer type we might develop decades later and how deadly it might be. The study challenges the dogma that most cancers arise as the result of random mutations that accumulate during our lifetimes. Instead, it points to the active involvement of gene sequences we inherit from our parents—what’s known as your germline genome—in determining whether cells bearing potential cancer-causing mutations are recognized and eliminated by
5-30-2024

PTSD, ANXIETY IS RISING AMONG COLLEGE STUDENTS

America’s college students seem to be more stressed than ever, with a new report finding a sharp rise in cases of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and acute stress disorder (ASD) on campuses across the country. In a “national sample of U.S. college students, we found a notable increase in the prevalence of PTSD and ASD,”
5-30-2024

NIGHT OWL BEHAVIOR COULD HURT MENTAL HEALTH, SLEEP STUDY FINDS

Night owls, brace yourselves. A new study by Stanford Medicine researchers has found that following your natural inclination to stay awake until the early morning hours is a bad choice for your mental health. In a survey of nearly 75,000 adults, researchers compared the participants’ preferred sleep timing, known as chronotype, with their actual sleep behavior. They determined that regardless of one’s preferred bedtime, everyone benefits from turning in early. Morning larks and night owls alike tended to have higher rates of mental and behavioral disorders if they stayed up
5-30-2024

STUDY CONFIRMS EFFECTIVENESS OF ‘WATCH-AND-WAIT’ APPROACH TO PROSTATE CANCER

For a large percentage of men with prostate cancer, the tumor may be so slow-growing that doctors advise a “watch-and-wait” approach instead of active treatment. Now, a study of almost 2,200 patients followed for up to a decade finds that for most, that decision may be a wise one. “In this study, 10 years after diagnosis, 49% of men remained free of progression or treatment, less than 2% developed metastatic disease and less than 1% died of their disease,” reported a team led by Lisa Newcomb, a cancer prevention researcher
5-30-2024

RESEARCHERS HARNESS THE POWER OF AI TO MATCH PATIENTS WITH THE MOST EFFECTIVE ANTIDEPRESSANT FOR THEIR UNIQUE NEEDS

Researchers at George Mason University’s College of Public Health have leveraged the power of artificial intelligence (AI) analytical models to match a patient’s medical history to the most effective antidepressant, allowing patients to find symptom relief sooner. The free website, MeAgainMeds.com, provides evidence-based recommendations, allowing clinicians and patients to find the optimal antidepressant the first time. “Many people with depression must try multiple antidepressants before finding the right one that alleviates their symptoms. Our website reduces the number of medications that patients are asked to try. The system recommends to
5-30-2024

NEW CANCER-RELATED FATIGUE TREATMENT GUIDELINES URGE EXERCISE, TALK THERAPY, MINDFULNESS, TAI CHI

The clinical practice guidelines, which came about after an extensive review of 113 published clinical trials by a panel of experts, conclude that doctors should recommend exercise, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), mindfulness-based programs, Tai chi, qigong, and American ginseng to reduce fatigue severity during cancer treatment. After completion of cancer treatment, the guidelines also suggest that exercise, CBT, and mindfulness-based
5-30-2024

STUDY FINDS THAT BETTER SLEEP IS ASSOCIATED WITH LOWER LONELINESS

A new study to be presented at the SLEEP 2024 annual meeting found that better sleep health was associated with lower levels of loneliness, and this association was stronger among younger adults. Results indicate that better sleep health was associated with significantly lower total loneliness, emotional loneliness and social loneliness. While better sleep health was associated with lower total and emotional loneliness across ages, this association was stronger for younger adults. However, age did not moderate the association between sleep health and social loneliness. “Loneliness is an urgent public health
5-30-2024

SOCIAL MEDIA USE AND SLEEP DURATION CONNECTED TO BRAIN ACTIVITY IN TEENS

A new study to be presented at the SLEEP 2024 annual meeting found a distinct relationship between sleep duration, social media usage, and brain activation across brain regions that are key for executive control and reward processing. Results show a correlation between shorter sleep duration and greater social media usage in teens. The analysis points to involvement of areas within the frontolimbic brain regions, such as the inferior and middle frontal gyri, in these relationships. The inferior frontal gyrus, key in inhibitory control, may play
5-30-2024

HOW DOES THE WORD ‘NOT’ AFFECT WHAT WE UNDERSTAND? SCIENTISTS FIND NEGATION MITIGATES OUR INTERPRETATION OF PHRASES

When we’re told “This coffee is hot” upon being served a familiar caffeinated beverage at our local diner or cafe, the message is clear. But what about when we’re told “This coffee is not hot”? Does that mean we think it’s cold? Or room temperature? Or just warm? A team of scientists has now identified how our brains work to process phrases that include negation (i.e., “not”), revealing that it mitigates rather than inverts meaning—in other words, in our minds, negation merely reduces the temperature of our coffee and does
5-30-2024

IS GUT HEALTH LINKED TO MENTAL HEALTH? WE KNOW THEY’RE CONNECTED BUT HOW REMAINS A MYSTERY, RESEARCHER SAYS

Rebecca Carrier, associate chair of research in the Department of Chemical Engineering, researches retinal and gut epithelial repair in the Interdisciplinary Science and Engineering Complex on Jan. 24, 2023. It was an act of desperation: A woman with irritable bowel syndrome was looking for relief from her symptoms. She decided to try an at-home fecal microbiota, aka a “poop transplant.” Used to treat C. diff bacterial infections, this treatment can help introduce “good microbiomes” to the gut to ease gastrointestinal symptoms. But the woman told Netflix
5-30-2024

STUDY LINKS SLEEP APNEA TREATMENT AND HAPPIER, HEALTHIER RELATIONSHIPS

when individuals with obstructive sleep apnea use their positive airway pressure machine more regularly, it benefits their relationship with their partner. Results show that greater adherence to PAP therapy was associated with higher levels of relationship satisfaction and lower levels of relationship conflict. Higher sleep efficiency among patients also was associated with higher levels of relationship satisfaction as reported by both the patient and their partner. “Recognizing that sleep and sleep disorders have an impact on
5-30-2024

CDC REPORTS THIRD DAIRY WORKER INFECTED WITH BIRD FLU, RISK TO PUBLIC REMAINS LOW

Amid an ongoing outbreak of bird flu in dairy cows, there’s been a third case of H5N1 avian flu confirmed in a dairy worker, U.S. health officials reported Thursday. The previous two human cases—the first in Texas, the second in Michigan, where this latest case also occurred—involved only a brief discomfort of the eyes, linked to conjunctivitis (“pink eye”). However, this third case is the first to present with more typical respiratory symptoms, the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention noted in a health update. “The patient reported upper
5-30-2024

RECOMMENDATIONS ISSUED FOR PALLIATIVE RADIATION THERAPY FOR SYMPTOMATIC BONE METASTASES

In a clinical practice guideline issued by the American Society for Radiation Oncology and published in Practical Radiation Oncology, evidence-based recommendations are presented for the use of palliative external beam radiation therapy (RT) for symptomatic bone metastases. Sarah Alcorn, M.D., Ph.D., M.P.H., from the University of Minnesota in Minneapolis, and colleagues developed evidence-based recommendations for palliative external beam RT in symptomatic bone metastases. Five key questions regarding palliative RT were addressed. The authors noted that RT is recommended for managing pain from bone metastases and spine metastases with or without
5-30-2024

CAUSE OF COMMON TYPE OF HEART FAILURE MAY BE DIFFERENT FOR WOMEN AND MEN

Graphical abstract. Credit: Cardiovascular Research (2024). DOI: 10.1093/cvcvae070 A new study from the UC Davis School of Medicine found striking differences at the cellular level between male and female mice with heart failure with preserved ejection fraction (HFpEF). The findings could determine how HFpEF is treated in women compared to men. With HFpEF, the heart muscle contracts normally but the heart is unable to fully relax and refill properly between beats. This condition is known as diastolic dysfunction. It can occur if the heart is too stiff or if the

5-30-2024

CANCER CAN BE CAUSED BY REVERSIBLE MOLECULAR CHANGES, STUDY SHOWS

Though 1 in 2 people will develop some form of cancer in their lifetime, there’s still much we don’t know about this disease. But thanks to continued research efforts, we keep learning more about the biology of cancer. One of these recent discoveries could even transform our understanding of how cancers develop. But before we talk about the new discovery, let’s first discuss the classical theory that attempts to explain why normal cells become cancer cells. This theory posits that DNA mutations are the primary cause of cancers. It’s well
5-30-2024

HOW THE IMMUNE SYSTEM DESTROYS THE CEREBELLUM

Neurologist Professor Dr Kurt-Wolfram Sühs has discovered a new form of severe cerebellitis caused by autoantibodies. Cerebellar ataxia is a neurological disorder of the cerebellum. This important area at the back of the brain acts as a conductor, so to speak, coordinating our movements and keeping us in balance. This ability is impaired in cerebellar ataxia. Affected people can have difficulties walking, speaking and grasping or even with controlled eye movements. In some cases, the damage begins gradually and develops over a period of years.
5-30-2024

PEOPLE WHO ARE EASILY ABSORBED IN AN ACTIVITY MAY HAVE BETTER MENTAL AND CARDIOVASCULAR HEALTH

Have you ever lost all sense of space and time when redecorating a room? How about being so focused while playing an instrument that the worries that weighed you down a minute ago just evaporated? Then you’ve probably experienced “flow.” Flow is a term used in psychology to describe a state of heightened concentration, in which you are completely absorbed in an activity. It exists somewhere between boredom and stress—usually experienced during activities which are somewhat challenging but still meet our skill levels. When we experience flow, we tend to
5-30-2024

SCIENTISTS FIND ‘GOLDILOCKS’ BINDING STRENGTH DETERMINES ANTI-CANCER T-CELL EFFICACY AND FATE

Immunotherapy, treatments that reinvigorate immune cells’ anti-cancer activity or reprogram T cells to target cancer, has shown promise in treating leukemias but has not yet been realized in solid tumors. One reason for the stymied success is the conversion of potential cancer-killing T cells into an inactive “exhausted” state near the tumor. St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital scientists found that how tight a parental T cell grabs a cancer
5-30-2024

IN THE BRAIN AT REST, STUDY INDICATES NEURONS REHEARSE FUTURE EXPERIENCE

Some dreams may, in fact, predict the future: New research has found that during sleep, some neurons not only replay the recent past but also anticipate future experience. The discovery is one in a series of insights afforded by a study on sleep and learning published in Nature by a team of researchers from Rice University and the University of Michigan. The research offers an unprecedented view of how individual neurons in the hippocampus of rats
5-30-2024

• 5-30-2024STUDY FINDS EVEN LOW LEAD LEVELS IN US WATER ARE LINKED TO LEAD POISONING AMONG SUSCEPTIBLE PEOPLE
• 5-30-2024STUDY PROMOTES DIGITAL HELP FOR ADULTS WITH ADHD
• 5-30-2024IN THE BRAIN AT REST, STUDY INDICATES NEURONS REHEARSE FUTURE EXPERIENCE
• 5-30-2024AI AND MATH CAN HELP PREPARE FOR NEW INFECTIONS IN CHANGING CLIMATE, NEW THESIS SHOWS
• 5-30-2024GUILLAIN-BARRE SYNDROME ‘MORE COMMON THAN EXPECTED’ WITH RSV VACCINE IN OLDER PEOPLE, CDC REITERATES
• 5-30-2024REWRITABLE, RECYCLABLE ‘SMART SKIN’ MONITORS BIOLOGICAL SIGNALS ON DEMAND
• 5-30-2024UNDERSTANDING PROTEIN MUTATIONS THAT AFFECT GENE EXPRESSION TO PROMOTE CANCER PROGRESSION
• 5-30-2024STUDY REVEALS THAT GASTRIC CANCER SURGERY MAY REDUCE HEART DISEASE RISK
• 5-30-2024STUDY SHOWS EFFECTIVENESS OF UPDATED COVID-19 VACCINES WANES MODERATELY OVER TIME, IS LOWER AGAINST CURRENT VARIANTS
• 5-30-2024SCIENTISTS FIND ‘GOLDILOCKS’ BINDING STRENGTH DETERMINES ANTI-CANCER T-CELL EFFICACY AND FATE
• 5-30-2024STUDY FINDS SUICIDE RATES AMONG CANCER PATIENTS ARE FALLING
• 5-30-2024EXISTING DRUG SHOWS PROMISE AS TREATMENT FOR RARE GENETIC DISORDER
• 5-30-2024STUDY SUGGESTS ASTROCYTES INDUCE SEX-SPECIFIC EFFECTS ON MEMORY
• 5-30-2024STUDY OF 16 COUNTRIES SHOWS HIGHER TAXES WOULD HELP YOUNG SMOKERS QUIT OR CUT DOWN
• 5-30-2024RURAL FAMILIES AND CLINICS FEEL MEDICAID CUTS
• 5-30-2024CANCER CAN BE CAUSED BY REVERSIBLE MOLECULAR CHANGES, STUDY SHOWS
• 5-30-2024NOVEL VACCINE CONCEPT GENERATES IMMUNE RESPONSES THAT COULD PRODUCE MULTIPLE TYPES OF HIV NEUTRALIZING ANTIBODIES
• 5-30-2024ANOTHER MICHIGAN DAIRY WORKER HAS BIRD FLU, THE THIRD US CASE THIS YEAR
• 5-30-2024COULD ULTRA-PROCESSED FOODS BE ASSOCIATED WITH YOUR INSOMNIA?
• 5-30-2024RESEARCHERS DEVELOP EASY-TO-USE SCREENING TOOL TO HELP IMPROVE FAMILY ACCESS TO FEDERAL NUTRITION PROGRAMS
• 5-30-2024‘STICKY AND STRAIN-GRADIENT ARTIFICIAL EPINEURIUM’ CAN HEAL SEVERED NERVES IN ONLY ONE MINUTE, STUDY CLAIMS
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I was explanted 4 years ago and was left with adhesion on the lower inner portion of both breasts. I didn't do any sort of post-op massage or cupping (I was told by my PS at the time that it would resolve, I don't think he's had much experience with explants). I asked a couple of local surgeons if they can simply release or 'cut' the scar tissue adhesion and follow up with a specialized massage therapist to do cupping, massage, etc to keep that area malleable.
They've told me No, I would need implants or fat transfer to fill that space or the adhesion would attach itself again. I don't know if this is true or are they saying I would need something more as a way to make add'l profit?
Does anyone know if it's possible to simply release the scar, or how to go about finding a doctor that might be willing to try?
I just want to find someone who is willing to try. Thank you!

so, i’m curious about the different types/techniques of reductions and other things done with them. i know i could probably ask about it at my consultation, but i won’t have that for several months.
i’m curious about the different types of incisions, why each one is chosen, and people’s experiences with them. i’m also curious about how other procedures that may be done with the reduction like a breast lift and fng (and why a fng is done/when does they need to do one because i feel like it’s something i may want to avoid) and if a breast lift would be covered by insurance if the breast reduction is covered.
my primary care doctor also mentioned that they sometimes put in implants when they do a breast reduction. i’m wondering if that’s necessary and why they may choose to do that since i’d rather not have that.
and lastly, i’m curious about what side lipo is and why they do it. also if insurance covers that too.
also, any other procedures done with a breast reduction or other information/personal experiences are appreciated. i like to learn as much as i can about any medical procedures or surgeries i am interested in or will have beforehand since it helps with knowing what to expect, what i want, and helps with anxiety.

Hello Reddit, this is my first time posting ever i apologize for any grammar mistake, english is not my first language. But boy do I have a case for you, please upvote so it can reach more people
I (20F) suffer from fainting/heat strokes/ syncope since I was around 6 years old. The first time I remember fainting I was painting a Father’s day gift for my dad at school and I was standing up, I fell really bad, shivers, cold sweat, difficulty to breath, etc.(I will be more specific in a following paragraph) I went to my teacher and then they called my dad who took me to the hospital where they only gave me fluids and was discharged. Since then, fainting is simply a part of my life.
I can’t even begin to count how many times I’ve experienced this, but I have gathered a lot of information from this “episodes” such as symptoms, triggers and others. I’m currently going to various specialist but they haven’t found a diagnose yet so I decided to come to reddit just to see if anyone may have a similar experience or may be able to give me some guidance on just where to look more into.
So without further ado:
Symptoms:
Before: I don’t know exactly the words for it, but I know everytime when I’m having an episode, it’ll begin with like a weird headache not quite ache, like the same sensation when you are hearing a class and you can’t grasp the content. I’ll start feeling hot even if there’s AC and the headache will become more of a dizziness.
During: Even though I am very hot, my skin is extremely cold, my face goes pale, my lips go green, my fingers turn blueish, I’ll have cold sweat (a lot), I’ll yawn a lot, to the point sometimes it doesn’t let me speak properly, I’ll start having tunnel vision until it all goes entirely black, my head feels really heavy and I get dizzy, if I’m standing I feel my legs tremble a little, I think my heart goes a little fast but even though I’ve tried I haven’t been able to actually focus on it. Sounds are too loud and I can’t understand completely what people tell me is like the are babbling. I simply feel like I lose every ounce of strenght. Then when I get to seat (I’ve never fallen) sometimes I completely pass out for really short periods and others I just simply feel weak, dizzy, difficulty to breath and sometimes with pain in my chest.
After: Once I start feeling my head a little less cloudy and I’m able to stand up the same feeling from before will stay with me for a while, also, my heart feels really slow after and I can feel it easily on my skin.
Triggers: Being in crowded spaces like fruit markets, the metro or a really crowded street. Too much sun. Warm/hot weather (it can also be in the kitchen while cooking or specially frying, and recently with warm or hot showers) Standing for too long (I can have the episodes sitting too but they are less frequent that way) Being thirsty Doing heavy exercise with little rest time (or being too exhausted) Strong odors Being really nervous or anxious Have an empty stomach (I don’t eat breakfast because I used to get heatburn(? reflux(? idk the thing you feel that burns the throat after you eat) Have a really full stomach
Previous diagnoses and studies: I have already discarted having diabetes, prediabetes and any hormonal disease. I have done over and over again blood test for glucose and insuline and my body works like a clock with it. My hormones are also in the normal levels for my age and weight if anything they did an eco on my thyroid that suggests it may be the tiniest bit enlarged. Every electrocardiogram, blood pressure messurement and blood test comes back normal.
Other maybe valuable information: I’m 174cm or 5’7 fts I weigh 67 kg or 147 lbs, I exercise and I’m sexually active, my father’s family have a history of heart conditions, my mom’s side have history of autism and diabetes. I don’t have tonsils and have gotten two surgeries in my life, one for the tonsil removing and the other for a breast reduction, didn’t have any problem with the anesthesia.
I have hirsutism since beggining of past year. My period was and still is really irregular, my first period was when I was 12 and didn’t came back until I was 14, I didn’t have pain but I started having really strong colics around 17, I also have heavy flow and my period now comes late for around 2-14 days, sometimes even skipping a month. I have a cupper T since last november and period cramps became worst.
I’m allergic to mango, bees and mosquitoes, had hemorrhagic dengue once, I live in a tropical country in South America and am fair skin (my skin is white but as in white latina I guess Americans would say) . And whenever I get a cut or bruise that I don’t clean up properly it gets infected and big, i lost sensibility in some patches of skin on my leg due to mosquitoe bites and remaining scar tissue. I had acne in high school and had an abscess in my face that made me stay in the hospital two days because of how close it got to my eye.
I have bad eyesight, astigmatism, myopia and farsightedness.
I’m currently experiencing some bladder control problems with little urine loss, while standing and during sexual relationships.
Also, having sweets does not relief the symptoms of my faintings, I usually get my legs up or put my head in my legs while sitting or simply lay down completely until it passes, drinking water or putting salt under my tongue doesn’t help either, smelling alcohol sometimes helps for a little but after the smell is gone then they come back.
The fainting episodes started being really far apart but now are getting closer each time, this week I had 5.
So, if anyone has made it until the end and has any ideas, please, help me. I’m exhausted of always being so vulnerable and not knowing why. I’m currently seeing a cardiologist and I plan to go to a neurologist next. While writting this I’m actually doing a blood pressure holter test (no idea the english correct term) and I’ll have an arritmia test on mid june, if you have any questions I’ll wait. I’ll update if I notice anything else and sorry if I’m giving too much useless information, a lot of them are things my doctors asked me so I thought they might be relevant and others are simply because I’m kinda desperate. Be kind with me! And also, thank you.

I keep fainting
Hello Reddit, this is my first time posting ever i apologize for any grammar mistake, english is not my first language. But boy do I have a case for you.
I (20F) suffer from fainting/heat strokes/ syncope since I was around 6 years old. The first time I remember fainting I was painting a Father’s day gift for my dad at school and I was standing up, I fell really bad, shivers, cold sweat, difficulty to breath, etc.(I will be more specific in a following paragraph) I went to my teacher and then they called my dad who took me to the hospital where they only gave me fluids and was discharged. Since then, fainting is simply a part of my life.
I can’t even begin to count how many times I’ve experienced this, but I have gathered a lot of information from this “episodes” such as symptoms, triggers and others. I’m currently going to various specialist but they haven’t found a diagnose yet so I decided to come to reddit just to see if anyone may have a similar experience or may be able to give me some guidance on just where to look more into.
So without further ado:
Symptoms:
Before: I don’t know exactly the words for it, but I know everytime when I’m having an episode, it’ll begin with like a weird headache not quite ache, like the same sensation when you are hearing a class and you can’t grasp the content. I’ll start feeling hot even if there’s AC and the headache will become more of a dizziness.
During: Even though I am very hot, my skin is extremely cold, my face goes pale, my lips go green, my fingers turn blueish, I’ll have cold sweat (a lot), I’ll yawn a lot, to the point sometimes it doesn’t let me speak properly, I’ll start having tunnel vision until it all goes entirely black, my head feels really heavy and I get dizzy, if I’m standing I feel my legs tremble a little, I think my heart goes a little fast but even though I’ve tried I haven’t been able to actually focus on it. Sounds are too loud and I can’t understand completely what people tell me is like the are babbling. I simply feel like I lose every ounce of strenght. Then when I get to seat (I’ve never fallen) sometimes I completely pass out for really short periods and others I just simply feel weak, dizzy, difficulty to breath and sometimes with pain in my chest.
After: Once I start feeling my head a little less cloudy and I’m able to stand up the same feeling from before will stay with me for a while, also, my heart feels really slow after and I can feel it easily on my skin.
Triggers: Being in crowded spaces like fruit markets, the metro or a really crowded street. Too much sun. Warm/hot weather (it can also be in the kitchen while cooking or specially frying, and recently with warm or hot showers) Standing for too long (I can have the episodes sitting too but they are less frequent that way) Being thirsty Doing heavy exercise with little rest time (or being too exhausted) Strong odors Being really nervous or anxious Have an empty stomach (I don’t eat breakfast because I used to get heatburn(? reflux(? idk the thing you feel that burns the throat after you eat) Have a really full stomach
Previous diagnoses and studies: I have already discarted having diabetes, prediabetes and any hormonal disease. I have done over and over again blood test for glucose and insuline and my body works like a clock with it. My hormones are also in the normal levels for my age and weight if anything they did an eco on my thyroid that suggests it may be the tiniest bit enlarged. Every electrocardiogram, blood pressure messurement and blood test comes back normal.
Other maybe valuable information: I’m 174cm or 5’7 fts I weigh 67 kg or 147 lbs, I exercise and I’m sexually active, my father’s family have a history of heart conditions, my mom’s side have history of autism and diabetes. I don’t have tonsils and have gotten two surgeries in my life, one for the tonsil removing and the other for a breast reduction, didn’t have any problem with the anesthesia.
I have hirsutism since beggining of past year. My period was and still is really irregular, my first period was when I was 12 and didn’t came back until I was 14, I didn’t have pain but I started having really strong colics around 17, I also have heavy flow and my period now comes late for around 2-14 days, sometimes even skipping a month. I have a cupper T since last november and period cramps became worst.
I’m allergic to mango, bees and mosquitoes, had hemorrhagic dengue once, I live in a tropical country in South America and am fair skin (my skin is white but as in white latina I guess Americans would say) . And whenever I get a cut or bruise that I don’t clean up properly it gets infected and big, i lost sensibility in some patches of skin on my leg due to mosquitoe bites and remaining scar tissue. I had acne in high school and had an abscess in my face that made me stay in the hospital two days because of how close it got to my eye.
I have bad eyesight, astigmatism, myopia and farsightedness.
I’m currently experiencing some bladder control problems with little urine loss, while standing and during sexual relationships.
Also, having sweets does not relief the symptoms of my faintings, I usually get my legs up or put my head in my legs while sitting or simply lay down completely until it passes, drinking water or putting salt under my tongue doesn’t help either, smelling alcohol sometimes helps for a little but after the smell is gone then they come back.
The fainting episodes started being really far apart but now are getting closer each time, this week I had 5.
So, if anyone has made it until the end and has any ideas, please, help me. I’m exhausted of always being so vulnerable and not knowing why. I’m currently seeing a cardiologist and I plan to go to a neurologist next. While writting this I’m actually doing a blood pressure holter test (no idea the english correct term) and I’ll have an arritmia test on mid june, if you have any questions I’ll wait. I’ll update if I notice anything else and sorry if I’m giving too much useless information, a lot of them are things my doctors asked me so I thought they might be relevant and others are simply because I’m kinda desperate. Be kind with me! And also, thank you.

Hello Reddit, this is my first time posting ever i apologize for any grammar mistake, english is not my first language. But boy do I have a case for you, please upvote so it can reach more people
I (20F) suffer from fainting/heat strokes/ syncope since I was around 6 years old. The first time I remember fainting I was painting a Father’s day gift for my dad at school and I was standing up, I fell really bad, shivers, cold sweat, difficulty to breath, etc.(I will be more specific in a following paragraph) I went to my teacher and then they called my dad who took me to the hospital where they only gave me fluids and was discharged. Since then, fainting is simply a part of my life.
I can’t even begin to count how many times I’ve experienced this, but I have gathered a lot of information from this “episodes” such as symptoms, triggers and others. I’m currently going to various specialist but they haven’t found a diagnose yet so I decided to come to reddit just to see if anyone may have a similar experience or may be able to give me some guidance on just where to look more into.
So without further ado:
Symptoms:
Before: I don’t know exactly the words for it, but I know everytime when I’m having an episode, it’ll begin with like a weird headache not quite ache, like the same sensation when you are hearing a class and you can’t grasp the content. I’ll start feeling hot even if there’s AC and the headache will become more of a dizziness.
During: Even though I am very hot, my skin is extremely cold, my face goes pale, my lips go green, my fingers turn blueish, I’ll have cold sweat (a lot), I’ll yawn a lot, to the point sometimes it doesn’t let me speak properly, I’ll start having tunnel vision until it all goes entirely black, my head feels really heavy and I get dizzy, if I’m standing I feel my legs tremble a little, I think my heart goes a little fast but even though I’ve tried I haven’t been able to actually focus on it. Sounds are too loud and I can’t understand completely what people tell me is like the are babbling. I simply feel like I lose every ounce of strenght. Then when I get to seat (I’ve never fallen) sometimes I completely pass out for really short periods and others I just simply feel weak, dizzy, difficulty to breath and sometimes with pain in my chest.
After: Once I start feeling my head a little less cloudy and I’m able to stand up the same feeling from before will stay with me for a while, also, my heart feels really slow after and I can feel it easily on my skin.
Triggers: Being in crowded spaces like fruit markets, the metro or a really crowded street. Too much sun. Warm/hot weather (it can also be in the kitchen while cooking or specially frying, and recently with warm or hot showers) Standing for too long (I can have the episodes sitting too but they are less frequent that way) Being thirsty Doing heavy exercise with little rest time (or being too exhausted) Strong odors Being really nervous or anxious Have an empty stomach (I don’t eat breakfast because I used to get heatburn(? reflux(? idk the thing you feel that burns the throat after you eat) Have a really full stomach
Previous diagnoses and studies: I have already discarted having diabetes, prediabetes and any hormonal disease. I have done over and over again blood test for glucose and insuline and my body works like a clock with it. My hormones are also in the normal levels for my age and weight if anything they did an eco on my thyroid that suggests it may be the tiniest bit enlarged. Every electrocardiogram, blood pressure messurement and blood test comes back normal.
Other maybe valuable information: I’m 174cm or 5’7 fts I weigh 67 kg or 147 lbs, I exercise and I’m sexually active, my father’s family have a history of heart conditions, my mom’s side have history of autism and diabetes. I don’t have tonsils and have gotten two surgeries in my life, one for the tonsil removing and the other for a breast reduction, didn’t have any problem with the anesthesia.
I have hirsutism since beggining of past year. My period was and still is really irregular, my first period was when I was 12 and didn’t came back until I was 14, I didn’t have pain but I started having really strong colics around 17, I also have heavy flow and my period now comes late for around 2-14 days, sometimes even skipping a month. I have a cupper T since last november and period cramps became worst.
I’m allergic to mango, bees and mosquitoes, had hemorrhagic dengue once, I live in a tropical country in South America and am fair skin (my skin is white but as in white latina I guess Americans would say) . And whenever I get a cut or bruise that I don’t clean up properly it gets infected and big, i lost sensibility in some patches of skin on my leg due to mosquitoe bites and remaining scar tissue. I had acne in high school and had an abscess in my face that made me stay in the hospital two days because of how close it got to my eye.
I have bad eyesight, astigmatism, myopia and farsightedness.
I’m currently experiencing some bladder control problems with little urine loss, while standing and during sexual relationships.
Also, having sweets does not relief the symptoms of my faintings, I usually get my legs up or put my head in my legs while sitting or simply lay down completely until it passes, drinking water or putting salt under my tongue doesn’t help either, smelling alcohol sometimes helps for a little but after the smell is gone then they come back.
The fainting episodes started being really far apart but now are getting closer each time, this week I had 5.
So, if anyone has made it until the end and has any ideas, please, help me. I’m exhausted of always being so vulnerable and not knowing why. I’m currently seeing a cardiologist and I plan to go to a neurologist next. While writting this I’m actually doing a blood pressure holter test (no idea the english correct term) and I’ll have an arritmia test on mid june, if you have any questions I’ll wait. I’ll update if I notice anything else and sorry if I’m giving too much useless information, a lot of them are things my doctors asked me so I thought they might be relevant and others are simply because I’m kinda desperate. Be kind with me! And also, thank you.

DAY: MAY 29 2024
5-29-2024

NOT A GYM RAT? HERE’S HOW TO GET STARTED ON AN OUTDOOR EXERCISE ROUTINE

Between the sweat smell, fluorescent lights and omnipresent television screens, April Herring has never connected with going to the gym. Instead, she runs, bikes, hikes, plays tennis, pickleball and football—anything to get her exercise outside as often as possible. “Fresh air, sunshine, the variety of the trees as the seasons change,” said Herring, an administrator at Carroll Community College in North Maryland. “There’s something about the energetic healing
5-29-2024

TOO MUCH EXERCISE COULD ACTUALLY TRIGGER A HOT FLASH

Hot flashes affect roughly 80% of women during the years around menopause. Despite how common they are and how much research has been conducted relative to what causes them, much remains unknown. A new study suggests that acute changes in physical activity, temperature, and humidity may play a role in the hot flash experience. Results of the survey are published online today in the journal Menopause. As one of the most frequently experienced menopause symptoms, hot flashes are sudden heat dissipation events that often involve an increase in heat transfer
5-29-2024

ADEQUATE SLEEP IMPORTANT FOR YOUR HEART HEALTH, SAYS PHYSICIAN

Does how much you sleep affect your heart? According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, adults who sleep fewer than seven hours each night are more likely to experience health problems. Dr. Juan Cardenas Rosales, an internal medicine physician at Mayo Clinic, stresses that adequate sleep is crucial for your overall well-being, including your heart health. Getting a good night’s sleep can give you the energy to jump-start your day and your health. “Sleeping is very important to try to prevent other chronic
5-29-2024

STUDY SHOWS DISRUPTED SLEEP INCREASES RISK FOR SUICIDE AND HOMICIDE

An analysis by researchers in the Department of Psychiatry at the University of Arizona College of Medicine—Tucson showed that risks for death by suicide and homicide peak at night, with nocturnal wakefulness, age, alcohol use and relationship conflicts being especially prevalent as contributing factors. Nearly 19% of suicides and 36% of homicides occur at night. Suicide and homicide share little in common, but their highly concordant overnight risk patterns suggest a common feature: nocturnal wakefulness. “Disrupted sleep may acutely impair rational thought, which can drive impulsive behaviors in vulnerable individuals,”
5-29-2024

RESEARCHERS IDENTIFY THE INITIAL STEPS IN COLORECTAL CANCER FORMATION

Research provides new evidence that most colorectal cancers begin with the loss of intestinal stem cells, even before cancer-causing genetic alterations appear. The results, published on May 29 in Developmental Cell, overturn the prevailing theory for colorectal
5-29-2024

CAN PSYCHEDELICS HELP STUTTERERS?

Synesthesia, hallucinations, euphoria. The documented effects of classic psychedelic substances such as psilocybin (magic mushrooms) or lysergic acid diethylamide (LSD) are vast. With their usage common and their effects profound, a team of speech and psychology researchers explored the impact of psychedelics on people who stutter, finding evidence that users see some benefits. “Given the positive effects of psychedelics on conditions like anxiety and PTSD, which share symptoms with stuttering, we think that investigating the potential impact of psychedelics on stuttering can be a fruitful area of research,” says lead
5-29-2024

SPENDING TOO MUCH TIME ON SOCIAL MEDIA AND DOOMSCROLLING? THE PROBLEM MIGHT BE FOMO

For as long as we have used the internet to communicate and connect with each other, it has influenced how we think, feel and behave. During the COVID pandemic, many of us were “cut off” from our social worlds through restrictions, lockdowns and mandates. Understandably, many of us tried to find ways to connect online. Now, as pandemic restrictions have lifted, some of the ways we use the internet have become concerning. Part of what drives problematic internet use may be something most of us
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TIPS FOR PROTECTING BABIES FROM HARMFUL UV RAYS

Skin cancer is the most common cancer in the U.S., and it only takes one blistering sunburn during childhood or adolescence to nearly double a person’s chance of developing melanoma later in life, according to the American Academy of Dermatology Association. Since babies are much more prone to sunburn than older kids, it’s especially important to protect them from the sun’s harmful ultraviolet (UV) rays. May is Melanoma and Skin Cancer Awareness Month.
5-29-2024

AUTHORITIES URGE PROPER COOKING OF WILD GAME AFTER 6 RELATIVES FALL ILL FROM PARASITE IN BEAR MEAT

The federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has reaffirmed the importance of properly cooking wild game after six people became sick from a parasite traced to undercooked bear meat that was served at a family reunion in South Dakota. The six—one in South Dakota, four in Minnesota and one in Arizona—became infected when bear meat that was served rare turned out to be contaminated with roundworms that cause trichinellosis, also known as trichinosis. Two of the people ate only the vegetables that were grilled with
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FIGHT AGAINST OBESITY GOES FAR BEYOND INDIVIDUAL STRUGGLE TO CHANGE LIFESTYLE, SCIENTISTS SAY

Overweight and obesity rates are rising worldwide, with several Latin American countries in the forefront. Estimates for 2020 pointed to a global obesity rate of 14%, and experts predicted 24% by 2035, including both adults and children. “Nutritional and pharmacological strategies are important to mitigate the problem, but is this enough? We know socioeconomic and environmental factors influence the occurrence
5-29-2024

POTENTIAL THERAPY FOR ADDICTION, DEPRESSION AND OCD

A model image of the targeted deep brain zone, the striatum, a key player in reward and reinforcement mechanisms. Neurological disorders, such as addiction, depression, and obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), affect millions of people worldwide and are often characterized by complex pathologies involving multiple brain regions and circuits. These conditions are notoriously difficult to treat due to the intricate and poorly understood nature of brain functions and the challenge of delivering therapies to deep brain structures without invasive procedures. In the rapidly evolving field of neuroscience, non-invasive brain stimulation
5-29-2024

STUDY FINDS HEART HEALTHY BEHAVIORS MAY HELP REVERSE RAPID CELL AGING

The benefit of better heart health may be associated with the positive impact of heart healthy lifestyle factors on biological aging (the age of the body and its cells), according to research published in the Journal of the American Heart Association. “Our study findings tell us that no matter what your actual age is, better heart-healthy behaviors and managing heart disease risk factors were associated with a younger biological age and a lower risk of heart disease and stroke, death from heart disease and stroke and death from any cause,”
5-29-2024

COMBO THERAPY BOOSTS SURVIVAL FOR ADVANCED COLON CANCER

People battling advanced colon cancers might have a new treatment option that could extend their survival, a new trial finds. The findings were present the at the annual meeting of the American Society of Clinical Oncology in Chicago, and should be considered preliminary until published in a peer-reviewed journal. A combination of two experimental immunotherapy drugs plus standard chemotherapy led to a median 19.7 month survival for patients, compared to the median 9.5 months observed among folks who only got a targeted therapy called regorafenib. “These results pave the way
5-29-2024

TICKS AND THE DISEASES THEY CARRY

In many regions of the U.S. and the world, enjoying the great outdoors comes with a hidden risk: ticks and the diseases they carry. Ticks can carry pathogens like Borrelia burgdorferi and Borrelia mayonii, which can cause Lyme disease in humans. Lyme disease is the most common tickborne illness, but there are also dozens of other diseases that ticks can transmit to humans. Dr. Bobbi Pritt, director of the Clinical Parasitology Laboratory at Mayo Clinic, says reported cases of tickborne infections are on the rise, and she offers practical tips
5-29-2024

HIGH PRICE OF POPULAR DIABETES DRUGS DEPRIVES LOW-INCOME PEOPLE OF EFFECTIVE TREATMENT

For the past year and a half, Tandra Cooper Harris and her husband, Marcus, who both have diabetes, have struggled to fill their prescriptions for the medications they need to control their blood sugar. Without Ozempic or a similar drug, Cooper Harris suffers blackouts, becomes too tired to watch her grandchildren, and struggles to earn extra money braiding hair. Marcus Harris, who works as a Waffle House cook, needs Trulicity to keep his legs and feet from swelling and bruising. The couple’s doctor has tried prescribing similar drugs, which mimic
5-29-2024

BREAST CANCER SURGEON RUNS A FARM WHERE THE ONLY CROP IS WELLNESS

Monique Gary, a breast cancer surgeon, is a self-described “Philly girl” who was born in Jefferson Einstein hospital and graduated from Philadelphia High School for Girls. Four years ago, she left city life and bought a 40-acre farm in Upper Bucks County, where she runs free, daylong retreats for cancer patients and offers nature walks, aromatherapy, juicing and cooking demonstrations, gardening, and yoga by her fish pond. The farm’s only crop is wellness. “I’m a busy surgeon and when I moved here, I didn’t have any crops, but I knew
5-29-2024

SCIENTISTS IDENTIFY KEY PROTEIN THAT PRESERVES MOTOR ABILITY DURING AGING

scientists show that age-related decline in motor ability can be countered in fruit flies by enhancing the expression of the protein Trio, suggesting potential treatments for age-related movement decline. As we age, we suffer a noticeable decline in motor ability, which affects our quality of life and independence. This can be traced to changes occurring at neuromuscular junctions, the critical points where nerve cells communicate with muscles. The deterioration of motor ability is closely linked to the degeneration of
5-29-2024

LOCAL DISPARITIES MAY PREVENT NATIONAL VACCINATION EFFORTS FOR RUBELLA

When public health officials make policies about when and how vaccination programs are implemented, they must weigh the benefits and risks of how infectious diseases spread throughout the country. However, these analyses are often based on national-level data and, in some countries, may overlook nuances at the local level. A new analysis by an international team, including Penn State researchers, revealed that the resulting recommendations may keep some countries from realizing the benefits of vaccination and globally eradicating diseases, such as rubella—a contagious viral infection that causes mild symptoms in
5-29-2024

INTERMITTENT FASTING SHOWS PROMISE IN IMPROVING GUT HEALTH, WEIGHT MANAGEMENT

The human gut contains trillions of bacterial and other microbes collectively known as the gut microbiome. New research explores how these diverse microorganisms help manage weight. ASU researchers explore the effects of an intermittent fasting diet combined with protein pacing on body weight and overall health. Credit: The Biodesign institute at Arizona State University A new study by researchers from Arizona State University and their colleagues highlights a dietary strategy for significant health improvement and weight management. Participants following an intermittent fasting and protein-pacing regimen, which involves evenly spaced protein
5-29-2024

A NEW PATH FOR CANCER THERAPY

Tumor cells often hijack normal physiological processes to support their growth, exploiting proteins that are in charge of essential cell functions. It is therefore important to block the activity of these proteins only in cancer cells without affecting their crucial roles in healthy tissues. For this reason, classical approaches using small molecules that induce systemic inhibition across all cells in the body can lead to severe side effects. An example of essential proteins hijacked by cancer cells are the cathepsins, a family of
5-29-2024

DO EPILEPSY MEDICATIONS TAKEN DURING PREGNANCY AFFECT A CHILD’S CREATIVITY?

While older drugs for epilepsy, taken while pregnant, have been shown in previous research to affect the creative thinking of children, a new study finds no effects on creativity for children born to those taking newer epilepsy drugs. This study is published in Neurology. Overall, the study found no effects on the children’s creative abilities or their executive function, which is a person’s ability to plan, focus, and manage multiple tasks. However, when researchers looked only at children with higher concentrations of these medications in the mother’s blood during the
5-29-2024

WHY USING DATING APPS FOR PUBLIC HEALTH MESSAGING IS AN ETHICAL DILEMMA

Dating apps are not just about finding love or hooking up. They’re becoming increasingly important in the communication of public health messaging, particularly sexual health. In 2023, Harvard Public Health magazine suggested that dating apps could “become a key component in [sexually infectious diseases] prevention.” And their prediction seems to be spot on. Grindr, a dating app popular among men who have sex with men, for example, has recently partnered with MPOWER in Ireland and The Love Tank in London to allow users to order HIV test kits through the
5-29-2024

HOW EXTREME HEAT CAN AFFECT MENTAL ILLNESSES

During heat waves, hospital admissions for mental health spike. The past 10 years were the hottest on record, and as we prepare for another scorcher of a summer, it’s time to take steps to increase our preparedness for extreme heat. The potential for heat stress, heat exhaustion and heat stroke are well known hazards of extreme heat. Yet, physical health is not the only factor to consider under extreme heat; mental health can also suffer. Many people can relate to the sleepless nights during hot summer months, as well as
5-29-2024

FROM HEALTH TO SPORTS—EARS CAN SAY A LOT ABOUT YOU

An ear is like an iceberg—much of it is out of sight. The only visible part is the auricle—the seashell shaped structure made of bendy cartilage, covered in skin. Its main role is to act as a trumpet, filtering and funneling sound waves down into the middle, then the inner ear, where they are converted into our sense of hearing. A medical ear examination usually involves an inspection of the canal, using an instrument called an otoscope. This is usually to investigate more common ear conditions—an infection, or a clog
5-29-2024

HOW TO KNOW WHEN IT’S TIME TO QUIT THERAPY

Therapy is great. It gives you the space, time and resources to handle the most difficult challenges of life. Therapy can be especially helpful in the often-confusing life period of your 20s and 30s, when so much is changing and many of your peers have wildly different lifestyles. The aim is to help you discover the thoughts, emotions and behavior that are negatively affecting you, determine where these come from, and develop strategies to change them. But then, how do you know when it is the right time to quit
5-29-2024

STUDY FINDS THAT MEMORY COMPLAINTS CAN PREDICT BIOLOGICAL CHANGES IN THE BRAIN

A new study adds further evidence that when a patient or family member notices signs of persistent memory loss, it’s important to speak with a doctor. While there are many reasons why someone’s memory may change, researchers from Mass General Brigham who are studying patients prior to diagnosis with Alzheimer’s disease found changes in the brain when patients and their study partners—those who could answer questions about their daily cognitive function—reported a decline in cognition. Using imaging, the researchers found reports of cognitive decline were associated with accumulation of tau
5-29-2024

BLOOD FLOW MAKES WAVES ACROSS THE SURFACE OF THE MOUSE BRAIN

Researchers have, for the first time, visualized the full network of blood vessels across the cortex of awake mice, finding that blood vessels rhythmically expand and contract, leading to “waves” washing across the surface of the brain. These findings improve the understanding of how the brain receives blood, though the function of the waves remains a mystery. The work is published in the journal Neuron. A network of elastic and actively pumping vessels carrying oxygenated blood span the surface of the brain before entering the
5-29-2024

RESEARCH REVEALS WHAT WE SEE ONLINE AFFECTS US MORE THAN LENGTH OF EXPOSURE

It is what we are looking at, rather than how much time we are spending our time online that influences our health and well-being, according to a major new report. The study, published in the journal World Psychiatry, is a comprehensive examination of the latest scientific evidence on screen time and mental health, carried out by an international research team. The authors emphasize the importance of taking an individualized and multi-dimensional approach to how the Internet affects mental health, cognition and social functioning. Content that may be relatively harmless to
5-29-2024

LIFELONG COGNITIVE RESERVE HELPS MAINTAIN LATE-LIFE COGNITIVE HEALTH, 15-YEAR FOLLOW-UP STUDY SUGGESTS

The brain’s flexibility and ability to cope with loss of neurons or other lesions in the brain is called cognitive reserve. In a 15-year follow-up study, researchers at the division of Aging Research Center (ARC), Karolinska Institutet, suggest that lifelong cognitive reserve helps maintain late-life cognitive health by delaying cognitive transition in the preclinical stages of dementia. The results of their findings were recently published in Alzheimers & Dementia. “We found evidence that lifelong greater cognitive reserve was linked with reduced risks of late-life transitions from normal cognition to mild
5-29-2024

YOU DON’T HAVE TO LIVE WITH PELVIC PAIN

Pelvic health is crucial to a woman’s overall well-being but is often misunderstood or overlooked. When symptoms such as urinary incontinence, pain or discomfort, or pain during intercourse occur, they are dismissed as a byproduct of pregnancy and childbirth or just something that comes with age like arthritis. But those symptoms can have a profound effect on a woman’s physical, emotional and social well-being and can lead to more serious complications if untreated. One of the most common conditions is pelvic organ prolapse. This condition occurs when the muscles, ligaments
5-29-2024

RESEARCHERS DEVELOP MICRONEEDLE PATCH THAT CAN DETECT SKIN CANCER EARLY

Researchers have developed a new method for detecting malignant melanoma. A new type of patch equipped with microneedles can identify the biomarker tyrosinase directly in the skin, according to a study published in Advanced Materials. The patch is equipped with microneedles that can detect tyrosinase, an enzyme that is an important biomarker for malignant melanoma. By measuring the enzyme’s
5-29-2024

MORE OUT-OF-STATE PATIENTS SEEK ABORTIONS IN WASHINGTON STATE

Changes in Weekly Number of Abortions and Out-of-State Patients Before and After the Dobbs v Jackson Women’s Health Organization Decision, January 1, 2017, to July 31, 2023. Vertical orange line indicates the Supreme Court Dobbs v Jackson Women’s Health Organization decision (June 24, 2022). The blue line indicates deseasonalized trends, the black line indicates estimated seasonality, the dotted line indicates the counterfactual, and the dots indicate the outcome (eg, weekly number of abortions).
5-29-2024

GAPS BY RACE, ETHNICITY EXIST IN HEALTH CARE QUALITY UNDER TRADITIONAL MEDICARE, MEDICARE ADVANTAGE PLANS

Medicare Advantage (MA) is an increasingly popular source of Medicare coverage for all recipients, including individuals from racial and ethnic minority groups. Certain managed care strategies used in MA—such as prior authorization, gatekeeping for access to certain services or specialists, and narrow provider networks—may pose challenges in accessing care. This means the quality of MA-funded care for minority groups has critical health equity implications. A new study published in Health Affairs and led by Professor Jeah Jung found that MA plans do not equally improve the quality of care across
5-29-2024

STUDY SHOWS MORE THAN JUST SOCIAL MEDIA USE MAY BE CAUSING DEPRESSION IN YOUNG ADULTS

Over the past few decades, there has been a significant increase in the prevalence of depression in adolescents and young adults—and a simultaneous uptick in the inclusion of technology and social media in everyday life. However, it is unclear how exactly social media use and depression are associated and relate to other behaviors, such as physical activity, green space exposure, cannabis use and eveningness (the tendency to stay up late). In a study published in the International Journal of Mental Health and Addiction, a team of researchers, led by experts
5-29-2024

MATTERING MUST BE CENTRAL IN YOUTH SUICIDE PREVENTION, SAYS STUDY

Youth suicide is a growing concern in Canada, the U.S., and around the world, with some research suggesting this might be linked with excessive social media use in vulnerable teens. With Mental Health Awareness Month closing out this week, York University Psychology Professor Gordon Flett says he was motivated by a growing sense of alarm and frustration when undertaking a review of studies on mattering and youth suicide for his latest research, which appears in Child Protection and Practice. Mattering is feeling significant in the eyes of other people, which
5-29-2024

HEARING STUDY REVEALS PREVALENCE OF TINNITUS

About 78% of participants in the Apple Hearing Study, conducted by the University of Michigan, have experienced tinnitus—the perception of sound that others do not hear. That is just one of the findings that U-M researchers and Apple shared today from the Apple Hearing Study, one of the largest surveys on tinnitus to understand the effects of
5-29-2024

RESEARCHER CALLS FOR MORE RESOURCES TO BRING REGULAR MAMMOGRAMS TO RURAL TEXANS

women who live in rural Texas, particularly those of a minority background, were less likely to get routine mammograms when compared to their urban counter parts. The findings are published in the journal Geriatric Nursing. Using Texas Medicare data, the
5-29-2024

TO SOLVE THE NURSING SHORTAGE, RESEARCHER PROPOSES GOVERNMENT FUNDING FIX

Health economist Olga Yakusheva, a professor at the University of Michigan School of Nursing, believes that current government reimbursement models incentivize hospitals to cut nursing jobs to save money. Yakusheva, an expert on the economic value of nursing, and Robert Longyear, co-founder and CEO of Avenue Health, present a new hospital funding model they believe could help solve the nurse staffing problem and improve patient care. Yakusheva discusses their research, which appears in an article in the journal Health Affairs. Since COVID, we’ve seen a lot of media coverage about
5-29-2024

IMPROVING CELL THERAPY BY CREATING T-CELL ‘SUPER SOLDIERS’

A new proof-of-concept study by researchers at the Herbert Irving Comprehensive Cancer Center (HICCC) shows that changing only a single letter in the DNA code of selected genes in T cells may lead to improved cell therapy. The researchers, led by Benjamin Izar, a member of the HICCC, used novel CRISPR-dependent base editing to “supercharge” cell therapies, making them potentially more effective for more patients. Cell therapies work by re-engineering a
5-29-2024

ULTRASOUND LOCALIZATION MICROSCOPY: BUBBLES REVEAL TINY VESSELS

To the trained eyes of a doctor, the gray-white shapes and textures of an ultrasound image reveal more than to the layperson. But the tiniest vascular structures have remained elusive—until now. The team from the Department of Medical Engineering at Ruhr University Bochum headed by Professor Georg Schmitz is perfecting ultrasound localization microscopy (ULM). By deploying a commercially available contrast agent with microbubbles and performing a number of calculation steps, it’s now possible, for example, to image the vascular structure of a mouse kidney in minute detail, as well as
5-29-2024

NOVEL DEVICE COULD ALLOW EARLY DETECTION OF DEADLY CONDITION

Each year, at least 1.7 million adults in the United States and millions more worldwide develop sepsis, a life-threatening condition that occurs when the body’s immune system has an extreme response to an infection. The condition, which can be difficult to detect and treat, rapidly damages tissues and vital organs and is one of the leading causes of death in hospitals. To help doctors spot when the condition may be developing, one medical technology company, Opticyte, has developed a novel, noninvasive device that can send out alerts when
5-29-2024

INTERNATIONAL EXPERTS REACH CONSENSUS ON THE LABELING OF SPATIAL NEGLECT

A consensus has been achieved by an international team of rehabilitation researchers and clinicians on the standardized labeling of spatial neglect, a common disorder following neurological injury, which is characterized by a lack of awareness or response to objects or stimuli on the side opposite a brain lesion. The panel reached a 75% consensus to adopt “spatial neglect” as the standard term for the disorder. The consensus paper, titled “An International and Multidisciplinary Consensus on the Labeling of Spatial Neglect Using a Modified Delphi Method,” was published open access on
5-29-2024

RESEARCHERS USE AI, SOCIAL MEDIA TO IDENTIFY HEALTH CONCERNS OF PEOPLE LIVING WITH HIV AND AIDS

Machine learning, artificial intelligence (AI) and social media are providing researchers with the opportunity to analyze valuable information about social issues in relation to health and mental health, particularly in relation to topics people may be reluctant to discuss in other settings, according to Richard Lomotey, associate professor of information technology at Penn State Beaver. Lomotey, along with researchers from Penn State, the University of Saskatchewan

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Hi everyone. A lot of context is needed for this and I would like to preface that this post has a lot of weight talk and ED talk so please if you struggle with stuff like this don’t read further.
I’m pretty chubby. I can say that confidently because I am quite comfortable with my weight. I have had multiple eating disorders before, both under and over eating. Anyways I’m about… 85? to 90? kilograms. I don’t weigh myself often because I just don’t like it. I fluctuate in my weight like all other AFAB people. Most of the ‘fat’ is around my lower belly (I love it), hips and thighs. I also am a bigger breasted gal so yea. And another this is I have an hourglass shape. I wouldn’t call my body ugly or weird as I fucking love it which might seem odd to people. I am also 170 so i’m pretty tall for a girl standard in my country (i’m 18 so no more growing).
My parents (especially my mum) were also somewhat chubby but recently they have gotten into gym a lot more and workouts and diets and stuff. They’re always listening to podcasts about food and whatever.
I’m happy for them because they’re both nearing 50 and still look great for their age!
But my dad has this fixation with me losing weight. Almost every day (even while we’re eating) he goes “you promised me something…” and makes puppy eyes at me. He always comments on my weight and how i could work out for 10 minutes a day and this “promise” is not even a promise because I always shut his shit down.
My brother is pretty fit (he’s like 14 and always on his downhill bike so understandable also he has a super fast metabolism since birth) (he was a skinny baby i was chubby since day 1 btw) and my parents have also gotten pretty fit and i’m kind of the last chubby person in my close family.
And about… three days ago? My mother asked me if I would like some eggplant salad (my balkans know what i’m talking about and how good it is) and my mum makes killer foods and of course I wanted to eat. I had had a late lunch that day in which I ate some sort of cheese and sour cream(i hope that’s the correct english word) mix and some potatoes with cheese that are cooked a certain way that I love.
I grabbed my tortillas to cook two because that’s a standard amount in our household to eat at a meal and my mum commented that one is enough (she never commented about my food intake, maybe sweets but that’s fair) and I was pretty bummed out.
I was also bloated due to menstruation and I was wearing my house clothes (pj shorts and some small t-shirt I don’t wear outside of the home) and my dad remarked I should workout more and I told him to shut up.
He was eating the salad with cucumber and tomatoes instead of tortillas (ik it’s a good mix but I can’t stand the textures mixing) and he offered a cucumber cut to me but I refused saying I don’t like them. And of course he made a big big fuss about it and how I don’t eat enough veggies (I agree but again texture hell).
Both my dad and mum started to comment on my weight while I was eating and when I was done I got up (yes i know i was an asshole for slamming my chair and angrily dropping my spoon in the sink but I was angry and done with their bs).
I went to my room and after a little bit my mother texted me that my dad is right and I am obese (I don’t think I am, nor am I at any health risk due to my weight. My blood work is pretty good actually) and I responded that I feel really shitty living in the same house with my biggest bullies (I was severely bullied in 1-6th grade due to my weight and lack of social skills. basically the loner art kid) and she went on a rant about how it’s stupid how I feel and stuff like that.
I have avoided them as much as possible because wtf.
I also need to mention that my dad has said “you’ll get as big as China” (o sa te faci cat China for my romanians) and has called me fat and obese in my face. And also called me the weird one out of the family just because I’m chubby. And other mean mean stuff over the years.
I honestly don’t know what to do anymore. And yes I know what extra fat can do to my body and honestly… I don’t care I like my body and my boyfriend does too.

I've been working for this dentist for a couple of months now. There is always an adjustment period when you work with someone new, but this is just bizarre behavior to me. I've worked for much larger offices with multiple dentists, I've worked in solo-practitioner offices. In the totality of my career, I've worked with 9 other dentists. I have never seen a dentist touch their patients this much and never in this kind of way. This is the tenth dentist I've worked for, and with my question today, I'm hoping to gain some insight from others in the field.
This particular dentist taps on the side of patient's head when he tells them to bite on the paper. Like aggressively TAPSZ on their temple. I see patients wince and duck, because they're not expecting it, and it looks forceful and un-welcomed. Then he will rub his fingers in circles on their temples when he tells them to grind on the paper. It's not limited to the articulating paper. He runs his fingers down patient's arms, pinches their arms, grabs their arms throughout a procedure.
He was delivering a denture the other day, and he said something like, "this shouldn't pinch or poke ..." then ran his fingers down their arm, grabbing, poking and pinching their skin. Patients recoil from these unwanted touches, and look at me as if I'm in control of the man.
We were delivering an implant crown to a patient earlier this week. He ran his fingers up and down the patient's arm and says, "this will screw aaaaaaaaaall the way into your jaw," and he rubbed his fingers down the whole length of her arm and back up. His tone gives me the creeps, and our patients look visibly uncomfortable. I can't tell what his angle is, or why he does this. I have never seen a dentist touch their patients like this. Maybe a hand on the shoulder if a patient told the dentist that their spouse died, or if they were battling breast cancer again. But that was all I've ever seen before. This just seems like pushing his patient's boundaries of personal space.
He pats his hands on the center of patient's chests. Male and female, but mostly female. Pats their chest with an open palm. Is it disrespect for patient's personal space? Or is it impolite? Is it worrisome? He rubs the tops of patient's heads. 5 years old or 50 years old, he rubs their head vigorously. Patients look unamused.
I hope this doesn't sound like a rant-- but I'm troubled and overloaded, and the people who work in the office seem to turn a blind eye to this guy, or just leave. He has a history of people walking out, quitting on the spot. He has thrown a couple of things in the few short months that I've been there. He has a temper-- that's beside the point.
He wipes his instruments on patient's shirts! On the sleeve, he just doesn't seem to care.. He lays multiple 2x2s, cotton rolls, floss, instruments, the aiwater syringe on the bib on the patient's chest. Male or female, young and old. He insists that his assistants place multiple 2x2s, cotton rolls, and floss on their chest. I don't like to do this, so I won't. I will hold them, he will take them from my hand, and lay them on their chest. He will put soaked (blood, spit, you name it) cotton on the patient's chest. He once ruined a woman's shirt with porcelain etch-- she called the office, demanding to be reimbursed for her blouse. He laughed at her. He is well aware of what he's doing and the materials that he's using, but he continues to lay soaking wet cotton, caustic materials, whatever on a thin bib on their chest. I can't help but start to think this is his set-up for reaching for their chest. I mentioned how he flat palm, pats their chest when he's working on patients. It's so weird to me.
Is it disrespectful? Is this impolite? Is this borderline predatory? Is this completely normal and acceptable? It's as if he enjoys pushing people's boundaries just to see what he can get away with. .. I don't know if it escalates from here. I've only worked for him for a couple months.
Edit: I wanted to thank everyone for their input. I sincerely value your insight. I knew something was desperately wrong, but the complicit attitudes in the office started to make me doubt myself. I will update as this develops.

Okay so here's the back story, my husband and I met at work almost ten years ago. I always told him I never needed his money I just wanted his time. If he ever wanted to get me a ring later on down the road that I would be fine with a bread tie. I lost my dad when i was 19 so time and memories became so important to me. Why am I telling you this? Because it will become important later on. At the time I was 27 and he was 22 and we moved in together four months into the relationship. Fast, I know. Six or seven months into the first year he totally flipped out one night and backed me into a corner then began hitting me with his forearm. I was shocked and once he was done I went outside and I called my mom and then his parents. My mom came and sat with me until his parents arrived. He came out of the house and he was always tall standing at 6'4" and at the time 250 lbs. but in that moment he looked bigger than he was. My mother however standing at 5'5" and 120 lbs. was ready fight. I begged her not to and she just calmly asked him what he was thinking. He started crying and told her that he didn't know what happened and he was scared. His parents arrived and he begged them to take him to the hospital because he didn't want to hurt me. They took him and the hospital admitted him for a week. While there we found out that he had bipolar. They put him on some medication and sent him. home. For the first few months nothing happened and he seemed genuinely better. Well he stopped taking his medication after about three months. He started back sliding. He became distant, angry, easily upset, and refused to take his medication even when asked. He would start making mean comments about my weight because lets face it I'm not small girl. He would continually talk to other women and even went so far as to gaslight me on several occasions. Through it all I loved him enough to forgive him. Maybe I did it out of fear of being alone but I always told myself that i did it because I knew I was no saint and wanted to own up for my part in all of his. Here is where things start to get worse. SO his ex came to work at the place we were at and he began getting close with her. I knew the moment she came that it was going to be a problem given the fact that she hated me when we first got together by going to far as to start rumors at my job about me and because I was new they would believe her. She even would go so far as to steal his phone while he was bowling and sent me a snapchat of herself from his phone. Anyway they got close and he swore she had changed because she apologized for being such a jerk before. Everyone except my best friend Mo (I met through this job) believed she had truly changed. I felt crazy. I felt as if I was being gaslight from every turn. We were fighting more and more. He used MY car one day for work and we were arguing well after work he never came home when he should and when I called him he answered very agitatedly that he was taking a cruise. I later came to find out that he had her in the car and they drove an hour away to cruise and were gone for three hours. At this point he swears they didn't do anything and I don't believe him. Well fast forward to a year and a half later and he proposed (I believe most out of pressure from his mother and aunt.). He comes from a very religious family and they do not believe in living together before marriage. I accepted because I loved him but also because I truly thought no one would love me and if I said no I would be alone forever. He is happy again for a few months. He later tells me that he wants us to try and be friends with this same ex. I decided to trust him and we meet up with her at a park and talk. She assures me that they are just friends and that she hopes we can be friends too. She even goes so far as to say that she wants us to get marries. That struck me as super weird but I shelved it deciding not to dig any further because I was tired of fighting. I go on for a month or so messaging her as a friend, really trying for the sake of my fiancé. Then my aunts funeral comes around. I asked him to come with me because he picked up that day and work would understand. He refused and said that he picked it up and they would be upset. Whatever. I left with my mom and we drove 2 hours away for the funeral. While I was gone for two days he was very distracted and we fought. He didn't tell me anything. The wedding came and went and so did the honeymoon. It was a nice time....I guess. I started a different job to keep the fighting at a minimum. After the wedding I asked him what really happened while I was away at my aunts funeral. That when he admitted to taking his ex out to Texas Roadhouse for dinner and to the movies. He said he held her hand and even felt up her breast. When an unknown coworker called them while they were out she asked them "Are ya'll dating now or not?" and my husbands reply was "yes." I wasn't as shocked as I was sick. He could not come to a family funeral with his wife but could stay behind to take his ex out on a date? The fuck? Anyway we got past that and I kept trying. I was never one who wanted to get married (ironic i know) but I took my vows very seriously. While housesitting for my mom one night we got into another argument, this one turned physical. He threw his body over me as i lay on the floor and I began to panic as I am claustrophobic and can't stand being bound. He finally gets up and my dazed reaction was to swing out my arm and make sure that there was enough distance between my husband and me so I can get up and out of harms way. Wrong timing! My fingertips grazed his back and his instinct was to turn around and punch me in the stomach with his fist. I fell back down hysterical. He walked away yelling at me. I quickly grabbed my phone while he had his back turned and shut the volume off and hid my phone under my breasts so he wouldn't be able to find it. I stood up as quick as I can while he was yelling from behind the couch. He turned around when I told him through gasping breath and heavy tears "This is my mom's house and you need to leave now. If you don't leave I will call the cops." I knew he was afraid of cops. He turned even angrier and came around the couch looking for my phone. As he came toward me I moved quickly around the couch. He followed me yelling where my phone was. As he tried to move to my side of the couch i took my opportunity and moved toward the door so that i could at least open it quickly because I knew the neighbors were outside. I reached the door and stepped outside then walked to the other side of the porch. When my husband came out he didn't noticed the neighbors. I took that opening as he began to yell at me and as calmly as I can told him "The neighbors are out do you really want to be yelling like that?" While he was once again distracted I took brief notice of small 50/50 chance opening I had to get past my husband and into the house without him making it in. I didn't think long before reacting. I bolted toward the door knowing that he wouldn't move as fast because the neighbors were out. I made it in and he grabbed the door as it was almost closed. I yanked with every last fiber of my body and locked the door. I immediately reached for my phone and dialed my best friend Mo and without another word she came. Just as I was on the phone with her, my husband opened the front door window that didn't lock and began to climb in. As he was halfway in I unlocked the door and stood halfway out prepared to run if needed. He noticed and pushed himself back out the window. I let myself quickly back into the house as he tried the door again. It was locked so he tried the window again. This went on for three or four rounds before Mo arrived. I let her in while he was halfway in the window and she slammed the window down on his back so hard he and Mo made it perfectly clear to him while she had him pinned in the window that her father was aware of the situation and if he didn't hear from her soon he would call the police as he drove over to check things out. My husband left and my best friend stayed the night to so i was safe. My mom came home the next day and she went toe to toe with my husband. I begged her not to do anything because I loved him and wasn't ready to lose him. They stood there for fifteen to twenty minutes yelling at one another chest to chest. I was so scared for my mom. I thought he would hit her too. He didn't. He just left. After a week apart we talked about it and worked things out. He started going to therapy and taking his medicine. I told him the only way I would stay is if he broke off all contact with his ex. I didn't cry. I didn't yell. If fact I was so numb there was no emotion or reaction in my tone it was just hallow and flat. He called her and broke it off with her. He reaction: "I knew this was going to happen. I let myself fall for you and you break my heart. Your pathetic." She hung up and he came in and told me it was done. He told me he knew I was serious this time when I was scary calm. His ex wanted to try to get one more rise out so she shot me a text stating " 'Thanks for letting me friends with YOUR husband. He was such a great friend. He was very caring and attentive. He always talked to me and was kind to me. Maybe you shouldn't treat YOUR husband like crap.' I ignored it. She wanted a fight. I didn't care. I hated them both at that point. But I was willing to try for the sake of my marriage. The months got better and he really started to try....again. He blocked her and even gave me access to my phone. We were good for about a two years. Then he and my best friend Mo (yep that friend) developed "feeling" for one another. I loved her as a friend so we tried to poly relationship for my friend and husbands sake. I quickly became insecure and uncomfortable so I broke it off because we had an agreement that if one was uncomfortable at anytime we stop. Well he blocked her and I did not. Her mother fell outside a few months later and she needed help getting her up and because my husband is CNA she asked me for his help and I agreed. I brought him over to her home. He helped her mom and before we left she asked me if it would be okay to unblock her in case she needed help with her mother that day. Since I had to work I decided to trust them because he had kept her blocked for so long. I told her that was fine but he had to be home immediately after he was done (i had a bad feeling and as an empath I've learned to trust those feelings). They agreed and while I was at work he went over to her home to help. I called him three times asking if he was home yet because my bad feeling grew strong. By the third time I waited twenty minutes before the bad feeling and anxiety were so bad that I was dry heaving. I called and he answered saying she was taking him home now. It didn't sit right but I ignored it. After work I came home and we decided to watch UP together because I had never seen it. I aske him if we could get Carl and Ellie tattoos and he snapped at me a very angry "No" I was confused (I shouldn't have been because I knew something was wrong) He went to the bathroom and threw up then came back to the bedroom and asked me to take him to the hospital because he was throwing up blood. I took him and called my best friend Mo to let her know. She asked me to keep her posted telling me that he was fine earlier. I told her i love you and hung up. The doctor told him it was just stomach acid so we went home. The next day I checked on my husband before leaving for work. He swore he was okay. I was at work for not even a half an hour when my husband calls me to see how my day was going. I asked him if he was okay because he sounded off. He said he was fine. I asked if he was sure or if there was something I needed to know about last night with Mo. He angrily told me nothing happened and that i was being paranoid then he hung up on me. Twenty minutes passed and my husband calls me back. This time he speaks to me much softer and guiltier that last time. He tells me "I know why I was throwing up blood last night." I responded with "Why?' He proceeds to tell me that I am going to be mad. I asked him "You fucked her didn't you?" He told me yes. I was seeing red and began yelling at him as quietly as i could because i was still at work after all. I hung up on him and called my best friend. She tried to deny it when I confronted her after telling her not to lie he already admitted it she confessed. I cussed her out too then hung up and stormed into my job asking my boss if someone could cover me. I told her what had happened and told me to call a coworker who was relieving me from my shift that night. I called, he came and i explained before i left. I owed that to him if he was going to work a double shift because of me. I called my husband and told him to stop moving. I found him and didn't give him a chance to react. I told him to get in the car and he did. I sped off to Mo's house and confronted both of them. I ended up kicking my husband in the balls. Not once...not twice, but three times and then ended up smacking her in the face so hard it left a red mark. I was so angry that I told her she was going to march her ass back into that house and explain to her mother why my husband will not be coming back around to help her anymore. (My husband use to come over all the time before the poly relationship to help her mom since she was handicap.) She told her mom and when she came back she was visibly upset and let me know her mom was upset and understanding. She may have screwed my husband but there was one thing she could never do and lie to me even when she tried I always knew that's why we worked so well as friends. We kept each other accountable. I turned to my husband and told him "Your turn. Call your mother right now and put her on speaker phone." He tried to get out of it by coming up with the excuse that his mom was at work. I refused to let him get away with it. I told him "Call her! She just told her mom and now you have to tell yours. Call her and leave a voicemail she's good about calling you back." He did and she did call back. He put her on speaker as requested. She immediately expressed her disappointment and told us to come over to talk. We went over and talked. She let him have it as politely as possible after all they were still super religious. We began marriage counseling for a while and for three years we did really well. I even began trusting him again. It was strained at times but better. UNTIL.....my husband began. He stopped taking his meds AGAIN! He started getting angry. One point I was so frustrated with him I was going to throw away a video game of his when he leaped up out of that chair like a linebacker and rammed me into the long body mirror mounted on our hallway wall. He hit my head into the mirror I'm surprised it never broke, he pressed my face so far to the right I thought he was trying to break my neck. His left forearm was pressed against my throat. I fell to the floor after he let go for a second. Once on the floor he reared back and covered by entire body with his body shoving his right forearm into my throat this time and putting most of his weight on into it. I couldn't breath and at that point I was in full on panic attack mode trying to beg him to get off because I couldn't breath. His only response was "Good." through gritted teeth. I began to black out. Next thing I know I'm woke up what I assumed was a few short seconds later still on the floor in the same place. I sat up remembering what happened. My husband was back in the living room playing video games. I scrambled on the floor into the bedroom slammed the door quickly and locked it before he even was made aware I was awake. He tried to get me to talk to him and let him in because he thought he killed me. I refused and just cried so hard my chest and throat hurt and i was hyperventilating. He slept on the couch for the next two days. I locked myself in the bedroom only sneaking out quietly to use the restroom when I was absolutely sure the wasn't awake otherwise I'd hold it and didn't eat. I called his mom after the second day and she came and got him. He told me through the door that he was going to stay with her for a few days and that he was sorry. He came home with my consent. We raised a friends kids for a year after that. No i never reported the abuse on me to the cops because well as you guessed it ...I loved him. During that time he bean talking to EVERY coworker he had and was telling them that i was spending all of his money and not working. I did have a job in that year I just had to go PRN status to be with the kids because they were so young and traumatized from their own personal experiences that they required extra support. I read all of his coworkers messages. Most of them were telling him to leave me because, now get this, I was abusing him. I told him I was able to pick up shifts so he didn't have to work so much overtime if he would just stay home with the kids so I could on his days off. He refused. When I asked about going back to work full time or even part time he refused because the kids needed help. After the kids were able to go home again to their family things were recovering from the stressful financial burden of having them there. We recovered and did fine for another year. While we were out having a good day off together we had the smallest disagreement about going home and he back handed me. After 10 years of random abuse he gave me my first black eye. I reached over and pet his beard and said "cute aggression" He reached over and squeezed my chin so hard it bruised and said "cute aggression" through his teeth. The pain brought instant tears. When I asked why he did it he simply said "because you pulled my beard." I didn't. I tried explaining that to him. I asked if it felt like I pulled one beard hair or an entire clump. He said one. That's when it hit me that it was my ring that got caught on his beard. I was still partly shocked and when I told him "I'm going home. You can call mom and see if she will pick you up so you can go help. You are not going to hurt me physically anymore." That's when he back handed me leaving the black eye. I was shocked that i began to scream and hyperventilate and he got out of the car in the middle of the park. I called the cops...FINALLY. They picked him up and I gave my statement. He stayed in jail for less than 24 hours. I gave mom the money to bail him out since there was a temporary no contact order. After all of the trauma and bullshit he put me through here is where I realized that no matter what happened to me at his hands no one other than my mom would stand up to him. That he was the nicest guy on earth who could do no wrong that everyone liked. I was just his crazy, lazy, money hungry wife. Remember how I said I never wanted his money? Well 10 years and a whole lot of cheating and abuse later and I still meant it. However here is what all of his coworkers were saying. "Why would she call the cops on her cash cow?" "She deserved it. Honestly I'm surprised you didn't so it sooner." "She's financially abused you for years." "She doesn't love you. She just used you for your money." "You should leave her." "She had it coming." "Good for you man." While still temporarily separated he cheated on me with a coworker I asked him about and he swore it was nothing to worry about. During the two months of separation I was so anxious and upset i begged God to kill me. I couldn't sleep or eat. I threw up and cried all the time. Slowly while begging God to kill me I found peace in the pain. I found Jesus in the healing process. I turned my life over and never looked back. I got a call from him one day asking to meet up at the river. I agreed. We met up. Upon meeting him there he had this sense of peace and calmness around him. Real genuine peace. He asked to pray with me and we did. We talked about everything calmly for the first time in the history of our entire relationship. He told me he broke it off with her and wanted to move forward. We did. We had a very happy year where we put each other first. I trusted him completely. He didn't raise his hand or voice to me. Then he cheated again with the same coworker. He was ready to leave me for her before deciding to stay. I called her because and we argued for a few moments on speaker with him in the car. I she made a comment about how at least she could have kids. (He told her I can't have kids. I have PCOS and Endometriosis) that hurt. I found myself in that moment unsure of why i was yelling at her. I calmed down and we both told him he needed to make a decision because this wasn't fair to either of us. After a long silence he told me "I'm sorry (my name) but i just have really strong feelings for (coworkers name)" She told him she needs time to think and that she hopes we can be friends. I was gutted and numb. I slipped off my wedding band and gave it to him. He made no attempt to give it back. I told him "I know I paid for it but you can keep it." We hung up and continued to drive to his grandparents home. When we pulled up I pulled out his phone and dialed her number one more time. I told her it was me as soon as she answered so she wasn't caught off guard. Somewhere in the heat of the argument earlier on she confessed that he admitted to being a serial cheater and that she can deal with that. But i couldn't let two things go the comment about being able to have a baby and the fact that even though he confessed to cheating he never confessed to the physical or emotional abuse. I told her "Hey, it's me. Look I need you to know something if he truly is choosing you because it's only fair you hear it before making that mistake I did. I know he told you about the cheating but did he ever tell you about the physical abuse at his hands?" She told me no that's when I told her "I didn't think so. I think you have a right to know especially as a mom if he is going to be around your kid. I most importantly think you need to hear it from the source and not me." With that i handed the phone over to my husband and calmly told him. "Here she deserves to know what truly happened during our entire relationship." He took the phone and told her everything and before he hung up I took the phone off speaker and told her the final comment weighing on my mind. I let her know "Hey girl it's just you and me now. I have you off speaker. I need to tell you one final thing you made me aware of that he never told you. You made the comment 'at least i can have a baby' well the truth is I was able to get pregnant. In fact early on in our relationship I miscarried. I went to the hospital because the tests told me they were positive and I was having horrible pains in my stomach. Clay even though we had a doctors confirmation didn't believe me for a brief minute because I didn't have to have a D&C. I talked to my regular doctor and it turns out the reason I didn't require one was because it was early enough that the body would take care of it itself." She felt horrible and kept apologizing. We hung up for the night and went into talk to his mom and aunts. After some great conversation with his wonderful family we were driving home. Halfway home he attempted to hand me back my wedding band. I pushed it back at his three times and then told him "I don't want that back unless you are absolutely 100% sure this is what you want. Because I am done with this game. I'm told old for this cheating and abuse shit. I love you and it's going to hurt like hell to leave you but after two months it got easier so I'm sure I can do it again." He told me he was so sure and that his aunt and mom was right. He wants to make it work. I told him I'll take it back under one condition you break it off with her completely. Block her across the board on all social media, your phone and you go from a smart phone to a flip phone until you can earn it back. How does that sound?" He agreed and broke it off with her. He still has her blocked. It's only been since February so we will see. I don't have much hope for this anymore. I'm ready to find out how long he can go being faithful so that i can move on. I will hate myself if i don't give it one last try but this time my hearts not into doing the work anymore. So i'll be okay either way. I will be honest he has quit taking his medicine again so he's been short and I am kind of fearful of him at this point because I can't do that again. So far he has been better than usual but when he raises his voice or moves to fast i find myself afraid of him. I'll keep you posted.

”In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things came into being through Him, and apart from Him nothing came into being that has come into being. In Him was life, and the life was the Light of men. And the Light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not overtake it. There was a man having been sent from God, whose name was John. He came as a witness, to bear witness about the Light, so that all might believe through him. He was not the Light, but he came to bear witness about the Light. There was the true Light which, coming into the world, enlightens everyone. He was in the world, and the world was made through Him, and the world did not know Him. He came to what was His own, and those who were His own did not receive Him. But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, even to those who believe in His name, who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God. And the Word became flesh, and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory, glory as of the only begotten from the Father, full of grace and truth. John *bore witness about Him and cried out, saying, “This was He of whom I said, ‘He who comes after me has been ahead of me, for He existed before me.’ ” For of His fullness we have all received, and grace upon grace. For the Law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ. No one has seen God at any time; the only begotten God who is in the bosom of the Father, He has explained Him. And this is the witness of John, when the Jews sent to him priests and Levites from Jerusalem to ask him, “Who are you?” And he confessed and did not deny, but confessed, “I am not the Christ.” And they asked him, “What then? Are you Elijah?” And he *said, “I am not.” “Are you the Prophet?” And he answered, “No.” Therefore, they said to him, “Who are you, so that we may give an answer to those who sent us? What do you say about yourself?” He said, “I am a voice of one crying in the wilderness, ‘Make straight the way of the Lord,’ as Isaiah the prophet said.” Now they had been sent from the Pharisees. And they asked him, and said to him, “Why then are you baptizing, if you are not the Christ, nor Elijah, nor the Prophet?” John answered them, saying, “I baptize with water, but among you stands One whom you do not know. This One is He who comes after me, of whom I am not worthy to untie the strap of His sandal.” These things took place in Bethany beyond the Jordan, where John was baptizing. On the next day, he *saw Jesus coming to him and *said, “Behold, the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world! This is He of whom I said, ‘After me comes a man who has been ahead of me, for He existed before me.’ I did not know Him, but so that He might be manifested to Israel, I came baptizing with water.” And John bore witness saying, “I have beheld the Spirit descending as a dove out of heaven, and He abided on Him. And I did not know Him, but He who sent me to baptize with water said to me, ‘The One upon whom you see the Spirit descending and abiding on Him, this is the One who baptizes with the Holy Spirit.’ And I myself have seen, and have borne witness that this is the Son of God.” On the next day, John again was standing with two of his disciples, and he looked at Jesus as He walked, and *said, “Behold, the Lamb of God!” And the two disciples heard him speak and followed Jesus. And when Jesus turned and noticed them following, He *said to them, “What do you seek?” They said to Him, “Rabbi (which translated means Teacher), where are You staying?” He *said to them, “Come, and you will see.” So they came and saw where He was staying; and they stayed with Him that day. It was about the tenth hour. One of the two who heard John speak and followed Him, was Andrew, Simon Peter’s brother. He first *found his own brother Simon and *said to him, “We have found the Messiah” (which translated means Christ). He brought him to Jesus. When Jesus looked at him, He said, “You are Simon the son of John; you shall be called Cephas” (which is translated Peter).“ ‭‭John‬ ‭1‬:‭1‬-‭42‬ ‭LSB‬‬
”Now there was a man of the Pharisees, named Nicodemus, a ruler of the Jews; this man came to Jesus by night and said to Him, “Rabbi, we know that You have come from God as a teacher; for no one can do these signs that You do unless God is with him.” Jesus answered and said to him, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God.” Nicodemus *said to Him, “How can a man be born when he is old? Can he enter a second time into his mother’s womb and be born?” Jesus answered, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born of water and the Spirit he cannot enter into the kingdom of God. That which has been born of the flesh is flesh, and that which has been born of the Spirit is spirit. Do not marvel that I said to you, ‘You must be born again.’ The wind blows where it wishes and you hear its sound, but do not know where it comes from and where it is going; so is everyone who has been born of the Spirit.” Nicodemus answered and said to Him, “How can these things be?” Jesus answered and said to him, “Are you the teacher of Israel and do not understand these things? Truly, truly, I say to you, we speak of what we know and bear witness of what we have seen, and you do not accept our witness. If I told you earthly things and you do not believe, how will you believe if I tell you heavenly things? And no one has ascended into heaven, but He who descended from heaven, the Son of Man. And as Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, even so must the Son of Man be lifted up; so that whoever believes will in Him have eternal life. “For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life. For God did not send the Son into the world to judge the world, but that the world might be saved through Him. He who believes in Him is not judged; he who does not believe has been judged already, because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God. And this is the judgment, that the Light has come into the world, and men loved the darkness rather than the Light, for their deeds were evil. For everyone who does evil hates the Light, and does not come to the Light lest his deeds be exposed. But he who practices the truth comes to the Light, so that his deeds may be manifested as having been done by God.” After these things Jesus and His disciples came into the land of Judea, and there He was spending time with them and baptizing. And John also was baptizing in Aenon near Salim, because there was much water there; and people were coming and were being baptized— for John had not yet been thrown into prison. Therefore there arose a debate between John’s disciples and a Jew about purification. And they came to John and said to him, “Rabbi, He who was with you beyond the Jordan, to whom you have borne witness, behold, He is baptizing and all are coming to Him.” John answered and said, “A man can receive nothing unless it has been given him from heaven. You yourselves are my witnesses that I said, ‘I am not the Christ,’ but, ‘I have been sent ahead of Him.’ He who has the bride is the bridegroom; but the friend of the bridegroom, who stands and hears him, rejoices greatly because of the bridegroom’s voice. So this joy of mine has been made full. He must increase, but I must decrease. “He who comes from above is above all, he who is of the earth is from the earth and speaks of the earth. He who comes from heaven is above all. What He has seen and heard, of that He bears witness; and no one receives His witness. He who has received His witness has set his seal to this, that God is true. For He whom God has sent speaks the words of God; for He gives the Spirit without measure. The Father loves the Son and has given all things into His hand. He who believes in the Son has eternal life; but he who does not obey the Son will not see life, but the wrath of God abides on him.”“ ‭‭John‬ ‭3‬:‭1‬-‭36‬ ‭LSB‬‬
”And Jesus went out from there and *came into His hometown; and His disciples *followed Him. And when the Sabbath came, He began to teach in the synagogue; and many listeners were astonished, saying, “Where did this man get these things, and what is this wisdom given to this man, and such miracles as these performed by His hands? Is this man not the carpenter, the son of Mary, and brother of James and Joses and Judas and Simon? Are not His sisters here with us?” And they were taking offense at Him. And Jesus was saying to them, “A prophet is not without honor except in his hometown and among his own relatives and in his own household.” And He could do no miracle there except that He laid His hands on a few sick people and healed them. And He was marveling at their unbelief. And He was going around the villages teaching. And He *summoned the twelve and began to send them out in pairs, and was giving them authority over the unclean spirits; and He instructed them that they should take nothing for their journey, except a staff only—no bread, no bag, no money in their belt— but to wear sandals; and He added, “Do not put on two tunics.” And He was saying to them, “Wherever you enter a house, stay there until you leave town. And any place that does not receive you or listen to you, as you go out from there, shake the dust off the soles of your feet for a testimony against them.” And they went out and preached that men should repent. And they were casting out many demons and were anointing with oil many sick people and healing them. And King Herod heard it, for His name had become well known; and people were saying, “John the Baptist has risen from the dead, and that is why these miraculous powers are at work in Him.” But others were saying, “He is Elijah.” And others were saying, “He is a prophet, like one of the prophets of old.” But when Herod heard it, he kept saying, “John, whom I beheaded, has risen!” For Herod himself had sent and had John arrested and bound in prison on account of Herodias, the wife of his brother Philip, because he had married her. For John had been saying to Herod, “It is not lawful for you to have your brother’s wife.” Now Herodias was holding a grudge against him and was wanting to put him to death and was not able; for Herod was afraid of John, knowing that he was a righteous and holy man, and he was keeping him safe. And when he heard him, he was very perplexed; but he used to enjoy listening to him. And a strategic day came when Herod on his birthday gave a banquet for his great men and military commanders and the leading men of Galilee; and when the daughter of Herodias herself came in and danced, she pleased Herod and his dinner guests; and the king said to the girl, “Ask me for whatever you want and I will give it to you.” And he swore to her, “Whatever you ask of me, I will give it to you; up to half of my kingdom.” And she went out and said to her mother, “What shall I ask for?” And she said, “The head of John the Baptist.” And immediately she came in a hurry to the king and asked, saying, “I want you to give me at once the head of John the Baptist on a platter.” And although the king was very sorry, yet because of his oaths and because of his dinner guests, he did not want to refuse her. And immediately the king sent an executioner and commanded him to bring back his head. And he went and beheaded him in the prison, and brought his head on a platter, and gave it to the girl; and the girl gave it to her mother. And when his disciples heard this, they came and took away his body and laid it in a tomb. And the apostles *gathered together with Jesus; and they reported to Him all that they had done and taught. And He *said to them, “Come away by yourselves to a desolate place and rest a while.” (For there were many people coming and going, and they did not even have time to eat.) And they went away in the boat to a desolate place by themselves.“ ‭‭Mark‬ ‭6‬:‭1‬-‭32‬ ‭LSB‬‬
”And the disciples of John reported to him about all these things. Summoning two of his disciples, John sent them to the Lord, saying, “Are You the One who is to come, or should we look for someone else?” When the men came to Him, they said, “John the Baptist has sent us to You, saying, ‘Are You the One who is to come, or should we look for someone else?’ ” At that very time He cured many people of diseases and afflictions and evil spirits, and He granted sight to many who were blind. And He answered and said to them, “Go and report to John what you have seen and heard: the blind receive sight, the lame walk, the lepers are cleansed, and the deaf hear, the dead are raised up, the poor have the gospel preached to them. Blessed is he who does not take offense at Me.” And when the messengers of John had left, He began to speak to the crowds about John, “What did you go out into the wilderness to behold? A reed shaken by the wind? But what did you go out to see? A man dressed in soft garments? Behold, those who are splendidly clothed and live in luxury are found in royal palaces! But what did you go out to see? A prophet? Yes, I say to you, and even more than a prophet. This is the one about whom it is written, ‘Behold, I send My messenger ahead of You, Who will prepare Your way before You.’ I say to you, among those born of women there is no one greater than John; yet he who is least in the kingdom of God is greater than he.” And when all the people and the tax collectors heard this, they acknowledged God’s justice, having been baptized with the baptism of John. But the Pharisees and the scholars of the Law rejected God’s purpose for themselves, not having been baptized by John. “To what then shall I compare the men of this generation, and what are they like? They are like children, sitting in the marketplace and calling to one another, who say, ‘We played the flute for you, and you did not dance; we sang a dirge, and you did not cry.’ For John the Baptist has come eating no bread and drinking no wine, and you say, ‘He has a demon!’ The Son of Man has come eating and drinking, and you say, ‘Behold, a gluttonous man and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners!’ Yet wisdom is vindicated by all her children.” Now one of the Pharisees was asking Him to eat with him, and He entered the Pharisee’s house and reclined at the table. And behold, there was a woman in the city who was a sinner. And when she learned that He was reclining at the table in the Pharisee’s house, she brought an alabaster jar of perfume. And standing behind Him at His feet, crying, she began to wet His feet with her tears. And she kept wiping them with the hair of her head, and kissing His feet and anointing them with the perfume. Now when the Pharisee, who had invited Him, saw this, he said to himself, saying, “If this man were a prophet He would know who and what sort of person this woman is who is touching Him, that she is a sinner.” And Jesus answered and said to him, “Simon, I have something to say to you.” And he replied, “Say it, Teacher.” “A moneylender had two debtors: one owed five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. When they were unable to repay, he graciously forgave them both. So which of them will love him more?” Simon answered and said, “I suppose the one whom he graciously forgave more.” And He said to him, “You have judged correctly.” And turning toward the woman, He said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I entered your house; you gave Me no water for My feet, but she has wet My feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You gave Me no kiss; but she, since the time I came in, has not ceased to kiss My feet. You did not anoint My head with oil, but she anointed My feet with perfume. For this reason I say to you, her sins, which are many, have been forgiven, for she loved much. But he who is forgiven little, loves little.” Then He said to her, “Your sins have been forgiven.” And those who were reclining at the table with Him began to say to themselves, “Who is this man who even forgives sins?” And He said to the woman, “Your faith has saved you; go in peace.”“ ‭‭Luke‬ ‭7‬:‭18‬-‭50‬ ‭LSB‬‬
”And it happened that while Jesus was praying in a certain place, after He had finished, one of His disciples said to Him, “Lord, teach us to pray just as John also taught his disciples.” And He said to them, “When you pray, say: ‘ Father, hallowed be Your name. Your kingdom come. ‘Give us each day our daily bread. ‘And forgive us our sins, For we ourselves also forgive everyone who is indebted to us. And lead us not into temptation.’ ” Then He said to them, “Which of you has a friend and will go to him at midnight and say to him, ‘Friend, lend me three loaves, for a friend of mine has come to me from a journey, and I have nothing to set before him’; and from inside he answers and says, ‘Do not bother me; the door has already been shut and my children and I are in bed; I cannot rise up and give you anything.’ I tell you, even though he will not arise and give him anything because he is his friend, yet because of his persistence he will get up and give him as much as he needs. “So I say to you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives; and he who seeks, finds; and to him who knocks, it will be opened. But what father among you, if his son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead of a fish? Or, if his son asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him?” And He was casting out a demon, and it was mute. Now it happened that when the demon had gone out, the mute man spoke, and the crowds marveled. But some of them said, “He casts out demons by Beelzebul, the ruler of the demons.” And others, testing Him, were seeking from Him a sign from heaven. But He knew their thoughts and said to them, “Any kingdom divided against itself is laid waste, and a house divided against itself falls. But if Satan also is divided against himself, how will his kingdom stand? For you say that I cast out demons by Beelzebul. And if I by Beelzebul cast out demons, by whom do your sons cast them out? For this reason, they will be your judges. But if I cast out demons by the finger of God, then the kingdom of God has come upon you. When a strong man, fully armed, guards his own house, his possessions are undisturbed. But when someone stronger than he attacks him and overpowers him, he takes away from him all his armor on which he had relied and distributes his plunder. He who is not with Me is against Me and he who does not gather with Me, scatters. “When the unclean spirit goes out of a man, it passes through waterless places seeking rest, and not finding any, it says, ‘I will return to my house from which I came.’ And when it comes, it finds it swept and put in order. Then it goes and takes along seven other spirits more evil than itself, and they go in and live there, and the last state of that man becomes worse than the first.” Now it happened that while Jesus was saying these things, one of the women in the crowd raised her voice and said to Him, “Blessed is the womb that bore You and the breasts at which You nursed.” But He said, “On the contrary, blessed are those who hear the word of God and keep it.” Now as the crowds were increasing, He began to say, “This generation is a wicked generation; it seeks a sign, and yet no sign will be given to it but the sign of Jonah. For just as Jonah became a sign to the Ninevites, so will the Son of Man be to this generation. The Queen of the South will rise up at the judgment with the men of this generation and condemn them, because she came from the ends of the earth to hear the wisdom of Solomon. And behold, something greater than Solomon is here. The men of Nineveh will stand up at the judgment with this generation and condemn it, because they repented at the preaching of Jonah. And behold, something greater than Jonah is here. “No one, after lighting a lamp, puts it away in a cellar nor under a basket, but on the lampstand, so that those who enter may see the light. The eye is the lamp of your body; when your eye is clear, your whole body also is full of light, but when it is bad, your body also is full of darkness. Therefore watch out that the light in you is not darkness. If therefore your whole body is full of light, with no dark part in it, it will be wholly illumined, as when the lamp illumines you with its rays.” Now when He had spoken, a Pharisee *asked Him to have a meal with him. And He went in and reclined at the table. But when the Pharisee saw it, he marveled that He had not first ceremonially washed before the meal. But the Lord said to him, “Now you Pharisees clean the outside of the cup and of the platter, but inside of you, you are full of robbery and wickedness. You foolish ones, did not He who made the outside make the inside also? But give that which is within as charity, and then all things are clean for you. “But woe to you Pharisees! For you pay tithe of mint and rue and every kind of garden herb, and yet disregard justice and the love of God, but these are the things you should have done without neglecting the others. Woe to you Pharisees! For you love the best seat in the synagogues and the respectful greetings in the marketplaces. Woe to you! For you are like concealed tombs, and the people who walk over them are unaware of it.” Now one of the scholars of the Law answered and said to Him, “Teacher, when You say these things, You insult us too.” But He said, “Woe to you scholars of the Law as well! For you weigh men down with burdens hard to bear, and you yourselves will not even touch the burdens with one of your fingers. Woe to you! For you build the tombs of the prophets, but your fathers killed them. So you are witnesses and approve the deeds of your fathers; because it was they who killed them, and you build their tombs. For this reason also the wisdom of God said, ‘I will send to them prophets and apostles, and some of them they will kill and some they will persecute, so that the blood of all the prophets, shed since the foundation of the world, may be charged against this generation, from the blood of Abel to the blood of Zechariah, who was killed between the altar and the house of God; yes, I tell you, it shall be charged against this generation.’ Woe to you, scholars of the Law! For you have taken away the key of knowledge; you yourselves did not enter, and you hindered those who were entering.” And when He left there, the scribes and the Pharisees began to be very hostile and to question Him closely on many subjects, plotting to catch Him in something He might say.“ ‭‭Luke‬ ‭11‬:‭1‬-‭54‬ ‭LSB‬‬
”Now it happened that when Jesus had finished giving instructions to His twelve disciples, He departed from there to teach and preach in their cities. Now when John in prison heard of the works of Christ, he sent word by his disciples and said to Him, “Are You the One who is to come, or shall we look for someone else?” And Jesus answered and said to them, “Go and report to John what you hear and see: the blind receive sight and the lame walk, the lepers are cleansed and the deaf hear, the dead are raised up, and the poor have the gospel preached to them. And blessed is he who does not take offense at Me.” Now as these men were going away, Jesus began to speak to the crowds about John, “What did you go out into the wilderness to see? A reed shaken by the wind? But what did you go out to see? A man dressed in soft clothing? Behold, those who wear soft clothing are in kings’ palaces! But what did you go out to see? A prophet? Yes, I tell you, and one who is more than a prophet. This is the one about whom it is written, ‘Behold, I send My messenger ahead of You, Who will prepare Your way before You.’ Truly I say to you, among those born of women there has not arisen anyone greater than John the Baptist! Yet the one who is least in the kingdom of heaven is greater than he. And from the days of John the Baptist until now the kingdom of heaven suffers violence, and violent men take it by force. For all the prophets and the Law prophesied until John. And if you are willing to accept it, John himself is Elijah who was to come. He who has ears to hear, let him hear. “But to what shall I compare this generation? It is like children sitting in the marketplaces, who call out to the other children, and say, ‘We played the flute for you, and you did not dance; we sang a dirge, and you did not mourn.’ For John came neither eating nor drinking, and they say, ‘He has a demon!’ The Son of Man came eating and drinking, and they say, ‘Behold, a gluttonous man and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners!’ Yet wisdom is vindicated by her deeds.” Then He began to denounce the cities in which most of His miracles were done, because they did not repent. “Woe to you, Chorazin! Woe to you, Bethsaida! For if the miracles had occurred in Tyre and Sidon which occurred in you, they would have repented long ago in sackcloth and ashes. Nevertheless I say to you, it will be more tolerable for Tyre and Sidon in the day of judgment than for you. And Capernaum, will you be exalted to heaven? You will descend to Hades; for if the miracles had occurred in Sodom which occurred in you, it would have remained to this day. Nevertheless I say to you that it will be more tolerable for the land of Sodom in the day of judgment, than for you.” At that time Jesus said, “I praise You, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, that You have hidden these things from the wise and intelligent and have revealed them to infants. Yes, Father, for this way was well-pleasing in Your sight. All things have been handed over to Me by My Father; and no one knows the Son except the Father; nor does anyone know the Father except the Son, and anyone to whom the Son wills to reveal Him. “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”“ ‭‭Matthew‬ ‭11‬:‭1‬-‭30‬ ‭LSB‬‬
”At that time Herod the tetrarch heard the news about Jesus, and said to his servants, “This is John the Baptist; he has risen from the dead, and that is why miraculous powers are at work in him.” For when Herod had John arrested, he bound him and put him in prison because of Herodias, the wife of his brother Philip. For John had been saying to him, “It is not lawful for you to have her.” And although Herod wanted to put him to death, he feared the crowd, because they were regarding John as a prophet. But when Herod’s birthday came, the daughter of Herodias danced before them and pleased Herod, so much that he promised with an oath to give her whatever she asked. Now having been prompted by her mother, she *said, “Give me here on a platter the head of John the Baptist.” And although he was grieved, the king commanded it to be given because of his oaths, and because of his dinner guests. And he sent and had John beheaded in the prison. And his head was brought on a platter and given to the girl, and she brought it to her mother. And his disciples came and took away the body and buried it; and they went and reported to Jesus.“ ‭‭Matthew‬ ‭14‬:‭1‬-‭12‬ ‭LSB‬‬

Hey, everyone. I just wanted to share my personal experiences growing up insecure and then "growing into" myself. I hope it can help anyone feeling down. As a teen, I was so insecure about EVERYTHING. My older sister was very busty, generally considered prettier and the differences in us were always commented on. My mom, also stunning, got breast implants after kids and was no longer similar to me in that way. I was bullied at school for my nose, my face, my body, being poor, not having a dad- EVERYTHING. I had an ED for years and was very depressed, anxious for a long time. It took a long time but now that I'm in my 30s, I can safely say our chest size and other physical traits are really not important. Being kind makes you 200%more attractive to most people as does confidence. How we see ourselves is very distorted, especially with social media and digital manipulation. I'm not immune to a bad self confidence day but I can now remind myself that it's just a bad day and I'm not "bad" or "ugly" for not having a certain look or trait. We really are much more attractive than we think and, more importantly, we need to love ourselves as we are. I'm seeing fillers, surgery etc becoming less popular imo and I hope it's true. Our bodies and faces were passed onto us by our ancestors and these differences should be celebrated, not erased imo. Please be kind to yourselves. It does get better.

From the beginning...
Cast

Part 2, Chapter 9

“What in the name of St. Sollar’s Broken Body,” Dillium touches her holy symbol reverently, “do you people think you are doing?”
“It’s a dwarven tomb,” Arthur says, stating the obvious.
“I see that. And do you always leave a trail of bloody corpses when I’m not around?” she demands. Novos whimpers a bit, trying a ‘sad puppy eyes’ look that has never worked on the cat-loving Dillium. “Ilmater is the god of perseverance and suffering. I should leave you all to persevere and suffer a while.” She doesn’t, however, and tends to wounds with a healing touch as the unarmed and uncouth look on with eyes wide and jaws slack.
“Father Michael couldn’t do that,” one of them whispers as he watches Dillium work. More obvious burns heal and cuts close, even as more serious wounds hidden beneath layers of armor are repaired.
“Where have you been?” Zander asks, standing safely away from the fuming cleric.
“What you all should have been doing. Attempting to gather allies and make friends, instead of … whatever you thought would be a good idea here.”
“Uh, miss? They was slaughterin the members of my esteemed mutual benefit society out there,” one of the slack-jawed men speaks up.
“Cut the crap. I’m aware that your ‘mutual benefit society’ is the Dread Order of the Ebon Hand, even if you aren’t very dreadful. How many countless people have you slaughtered in your time here?”
He coughs. “Well, actually, miss…” He trails off.
Another speaks up. “Uh, None, since I been here. We has been training and stuff. And then it rained for a while…” All four of them shuffle around, embarrassed.
“Who were you talking to,” Zander continues.
“The guy from the front door. His name is Febis.”
“The dragon?” Novos asks incredulously.
“No, he’s not the dragon. He’s actually one of them, she gestures while she works.”
“Uh, huh. He was our scout. Best friends with Delfus, he was.”
“And now he’s out there in the other room bawling his eyes out because you killed his only friend!” Dillium spits out.
“I think we’s owed some compensation…” one of the Hand starts.
“SHUT UP!” the entire party says in unison.
The party catches up on their various happenings [1]. Regrouping, they decide that the odds aren’t in their favor at the moment, and they agree to retreat to their camp to rest, rearm, and figure out what they want to do. Cletus follows them out of the tomb [2], through the ‘cavern of the dead’ and across the bridge. Arthur doesn’t care to go back through the main hall, given the dragon lives there, but Novos is able to guide them through the secondary tunnel and out. Atticus and Mar, having established a slightly uneasy truce, have set up a camp, while Pocky has staked out the animals to fodder. Atticus has thoughtfully unloaded all the animals and is teaching Mar how to rub down her donkey.
The night passes uneventfully. During his watch, Zander regales Pocky with the ‘Tale of Ser Zander and the Dragon’, a slightly edited variation of events in the tunnel that end in the dragon slinking off, near death, in order to lay in wait until everyone has gone to sleep to swoop out and EAT YOU ALL UP! Pocky screams in mock terror and brandishes his squire’s wooden sword as he hides behind Zander’s shield. Later, Zander points out the poorly shined spots on his armor and strongly hints that the dragon would be willing to eat squires that don’t do a good enough job with the polish.
Atticus, when he hears of the events of the cave, has a hard conversation with Arthur on the nature of duty. Quoting from the holy scriptures of Kel Moorwalker, a Tormtor that has ascended to near deific status

Salvation may be found through service. Every failure of duty diminishes Torm and every success adds to his luster. Strive to maintain law and order. Obey your masters with alert judgement and anticipation. Stand ever alert against corruption. Strike quickly and forcefully against rot in hearts of mortals. Bring painful, quick death to traitors. Question unjust laws by suggesting improvement or alternatives, not additional laws. Your fourfold duties are to faith, family, masters, and all good beings of Faerûn. [3]

During her watch, Dillium quarrels with Mar about the nature of long-suffering and perseverance. Mar says that nothing in the scriptures requires the Ilmatari to heal those so stupid that they get themselves into danger, and that suffering is holy. Dillium corrects her by noting that it isn’t the suffering itself that is admired, but the stoic acceptance of suffering that is holy, but that even the least of the creatures of Faerûn are granted Ilmater’s blessings. Mar seems unsatisfied with that answer, particularly for “that one” as she references Novos.
Novos, during his watch, plays with his puzzle box. So intent is he that he—not for the first time—completely misses anything that might be flying overhead. Felicity does not hold a watch.
Breakfast is a somber affair as sore bodies scarf down trail rations. Somewhat invigorated, Arthur points out that they could go back and tell the dragon he has to either leave or the dwarves would be along. Dillium doesn’t think the dragon will care. Zander suggests that the dwarves really only care that the forge is not being used, and perhaps the dragon will just end up guarding it by virtue of him living there. Novos considers that dragons have huge hoards of gems and gold coins just lying around. That settles it. The party decides to return to the main hall and …. something something dragon profit!
As silently as two men in heavy metal armor (and the rest of the group) can, the party enters the entrance corridor. This time they spread out so that the dragon can’t breathe fire on them all. They again take the small and torturous side tunnel to the cell, and from there into the main hall, with the intention to remain out of the dragon’s ability to fireball them for as long as possible. Once in the main hall, everyone spreads out and looks around. Zander notes that much of the back wall has collapsed, taking part of the ceiling. (Or perhaps it’s the other way round.) Novos sees a huge plinth [4] and goes over to see what it is. Climbing up on top, he recognizes that the statue it once held is now long gone, and its partner is on the other side of the entrance tunnel. Arthur notes the high ceiling and several black cave-like openings that might be caves or tunnels back into the rock.
For some reason, it is Arthur who speaks. “We wish to speak with The Mighty Flamestrike,” he intones in his loudest intonation. There is no response. “If The Mighty Flamestrike will not speak with us, we will have to return to the dwarves and inform them that their forge is not secure, and they will send more and more dwarves to take it back.”
A loud booming noise is heard. “It must be some sort of Draconic language,” Arthur muses. After a few moments, the voice switches to a dialect of Dwarvish.
“The Mighty Flamestrike does not wish to converse with you.”
“That’s fine. The Mighty Flamestrike should know that the dwarves of Ironspur claim this cavern and the forge within it. They will come to reclaim it.”
“The Mighty Flamestrike relishes their arrival. Dwarfs are tasty.”
“Perhaps, but they will arrive in numbers that would overcome you.”
“The Mighty Flamestrike is too busy to spare time for such trifles. Begone!”
“Perhaps if you would destroy the forge, the dwarves would not come.” Silence is the only response. Suddenly the entire cavern begins shaking, bringing down additional parts of the walls. A huge rock falls from the ceiling and strikes Zander on the helm. The party flees back the way they came. As they pass through the hall to the cell and out, one of the Hand taunts them.
“Run away! Run away! You’ve not seen the last of us!” A huge cave-in cuts off any further discussion, though the dust and rock makes it hard to see if there are survivors, and another rock from the ceiling comes crashing down on Zander’s head.
***
Having packed up and returned to Ironforge, the group finds itself in the same inn they stayed at just two nights before. They send word to the Council of Thanes that they have returned, and a young dwarf meets them after dinner. Relaying (most of) their story, they say that they believe the forge is safe. At least, it isn’t being used as a forge, and the presence of the dragon, if he hasn’t managed to destroy it, will keep people away from it for … whatever the life of a dragon is. Thanking them for the information, the dwarf departs.
After another hearty breakfast of hearty (but still largely tasteless) dwarven porridge, the group sets out. Just as they leave the inn, a young man hurries up, wearing the livery of the Duke of Soravia. He addresses Lady Felicity. “Milady, I’m so pleased to have caught up to you. Elmar sends his compliments, and I have the first set of supplies from Kinbrace. [5] It is all in a warehouse here in the city. I’ve already sent the animals back, but you can grab what you need from the stock and leave the rest. The lease is paid up for two months, by which time the weather will have set in and you should have sought shelter for the winter.” Felicity elects not to take anything from the warehouse, but she’s grateful to know that the supplies have been received. The party heads out of town. They have decided to go to Dragon’s Perch, the fortress at the north-east end of the mountain range, and home of the Duke himself. It takes an hour before someone realizes that they should be headed east (well, north-east), and not away from the rising sun. Suitably situated, the group spends the entire day on the lookout for goblins, dragons, and dwarves. They see none of that, but they do see chipmunks, ground squirrels, and hawks. As they settle down for the night, they light a fire and pull up stones to sit on.
Suddenly a great green head pokes up from behind some rocks. Jumping up on the rocks, he bellows a challenge to the party. It appears to be a dragon, but it’s deformed. It has too few legs, and a huge wicked stinger on its tail. Jumping to his feet, Arthur tells Atticus to stand back. He mightily Smites the creature. Atticus pays no attention to Arthur’s instruction, and Smites the creature as well. Dillium Blesses Arthur, Atticus, Zander and Novos; Mar Blesses the rest. Zander races up and smites the creature (with less divine magic, but more critical hitting). In retaliation, the creature impales Zander with his stinger-tail, pumping horrid poison deep into his shoulder, even as he bites Arthur and claws Atticus. Novos shoots with his recently “acquired” crossbow [6]. Yet it is Felicity who casts the deciding Witch Bolt, killing the creature before it can strike again. The party decides to try to skin the creature, but no one has any tanning, skinning (or any other survival) skill. Novos gives it a try on the grounds that he is most familiar with a knife. He butchers the creature, managing to mangle both legs and part of the tail before he grows bored and leaves the rest of the carcass.
Once Dillium puts up the pavillionsol and everyone goes inside, nobody can smell the corpse as it lies there attracting flies and vermin. Actually, the vermin turn out to be coyotes, which first Arthur, then later Dillium, Zander, and Novos pointedly ignore as they each take their watches. By the end of the night, a good dozen coyotes have arrived, eaten, fought, given up, slunk off in the night, then returned for seconds before retreating from the morning light.
Once again, Novos is too busy playing with his puzzle box to see anything that might be flying overhead.
The group packs up, but they prove to be the worst scouts around as they leave bottles, cigarette butts, candy wrappers, and other idiom-specific rubbish about the campsite. They mount their horses and donkeys, only to be approached by an older man. He is rough, with leathery skin tanned from many long years in the hills. Walking up to group, he simply says, “Thought I might find you here.”
“This must be our guide,” Felicity thinks. “How do you do? We’ve been hoping you might catch up to us,” she says instead. He tips his hat to Felicity and asks where they are headed to first. Dragon’s Perch, is the answer. A man of few words, he sets off, setting a pace that would require the group to have animals to keep up. The guide finds quick routes through the roughest terrain, and easily keeps pace with the chattering group. Just after noon, he holds up his hand in what is probably a universal signal for, ‘stop here and shut up.’ The party eventually stops, but they don’t shut up, so they manage to attract the attention of a pair of hulking giant creatures.
“Hi, puny humans!” One calls out in broken common. “Hungry. Give horse.”
Arthur, in the front of the group, says, “No, we’re riding them all.”
“Not. That one and that one and that one and that one. Two not ride. Give.”
“We are using them all. We cannot give any to you.”
“HUNGRY!” The second giant clambers to his feet and picks up a small rock. The ‘small rock’ is easily an arm-span across and weighs several hundred weight. “Eat now.”
Novos speaks up. “We’re using these. How about if we go and get you another horse, and you can eat that.” This confuses the pair of giants.
“Go get horse?” Synapses fire and somehow the giants figure it out. “YES! Go get horse. Bring here. They stay,” he says, pointing vaguely at the rest of the party.
“I need them to go with me to get the horse,” Novos says with the patience that indicates that he’s dealt with the very stupid, or toddlers.
Just then, Dillium has a thought. “Wait. I may be of some assistance.” Climbing down from her pony, she finds a flat spot and Creates Food and Water. A pristine picnic blanket appears, along with several barrels of clean water and many, many bowls of very nourishing gruel. One of the giant’s pokes a bowl, confused. He tries to eat the bowl, but that doesn’t work too well, and he cries out in pain as the bowl shatters in his mouth. Some of the gruel splashes about in his mouth, though, and he gets the idea. Plopping (with quite a huge PLOP) himself down on the picnic blanket, he starts giant-handling bowls of gruel into his gaping maw. The other giant joins him and the make various appreciative “nummy, nummy” sounds as the demolish the food.
So engrossed are they that they barely notice the party leaving them to their lunch.

End of Chapter 9

[1] See the last two chapters, Seven and Eight.
[2] The party is still in the Fire Forge Caves by Dungeon Baker in FiveE magazine
[3] Dogma
[4] Plinth
[5] Promised back in Chapter 5
[6] He took it from the cold dead hands of Fatima last chapter.

chapters 1&2
chapter 3
chapter 4
chapter 5
chapter 6
chapter 7
chapter 8
chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
“Turk, I want to check something,” Q said to his little assistant, once, uncharacteristically, he got home straight from the Academy. He even took a cab to get there faster instead of taking a usual brisk walk or even stopping by at the Gymnasium first.
“Sure,” the little man said, appearing out of thin air on the desk. “By the sound of your voice, I’m assuming you’re still distraught. What happened?”
Q sighed and plopped down at the desk, bracing for an uncomfortable favour to ask. The hologram idled patiently, flickering between its animation sets: sitting on the board, cross-legged, pacing here and there, looking at its nonexistent watch.
Finally, the man spoke, “I need to trace a person. Iliya has been acting strange lately. I’d like to see him.”
“I thought you promised yourself not to violate Astapadans’ privacy like this,” the Turk frowned.
Q cried out, voice defeated, “I know, I know! I just need to know he’s ok! No actual camera footage, just the spot and the vitals, I swear!”
He hid his eyes in the palm of his hand, the other clenched in a tight fist on the desk surface. The small simulation soothingly tapped on it with a minuscule hand of its own.
“I just want to remind you that focusing on one target will leave the whole surveillance system blind for the time. You know how the system works,” it said.
“Yes, I know,” Q said again. “But it’s only for a minute or so. Nothing happens in Ashtapada anyway, a minute of missing footage isn’t going to break the AI. Please, Tee, I really need to know where he is.”
“You don’t need my permission,” the Turk said. “You have the tools and the access. Who are you really asking? Me or your conscience?”
He finally looked at the hologram through the fingers over his eyes — “Then let me ask you, Turk. What do you think? Should I use my access to spy on a man I’m in love with?”
The Turk shrugged, swiping a bit of dust from the glassy surface with its foot — “What do I know? I’m just a virtual assistant.”
“Don’t give me attitude, T!” Q said, pointing at his simulation accusingly. It looked comical how little this affected the Turk even though he was just about as tall as the finger in front of his face. “Tell me not to, and I won’t.”
“No, I will not,” the Turk said, deliberately. He looked over the finger to meet Q’s eyes again. “You are a big boy and need to make your own decisions even if they are bad ones.”
“So it’s a bad decision after all,” the man asked.
“Obviously,” the Turk confirmed.
“Obviously,” — a defeated sigh — “T, pull up the surveillance control panel.”
It wasn’t such a bad idea after all.
Not only wasn’t Iliya to be found in any of the places he usually frequented, including his own room in the communal living complex, but his wristcomm had actually been left in the Academy garden just this morning. Next to it, Sereen’s.
A cold sticky feeling filled Q’s stomach as he battled with his own integrity.
Was he being made a fool of? Did they...?
No, he wouldn’t speculate until he saw it with his own two eyes.
“Engage the cameras, Turk,“ he barked. His assistant didn’t protest. The desk lit up with thousands of pictures streaming Ashtapadan streets and buildings, people going about their business and cabs passing through the underground tunnels.
“Run face recognition, find where Iliya and Sereen are. And if they are together. Include restricted areas into the search.”
It took a minute even with the full AI capacity at his disposal but it was done. The picture that the Turk selected simultaneously eased his heart and aroused a whole new wave of dismay in Q.
“Stream in 3D,” he said, voice tight, not noticing how his teeth dug into the inner side of his cheek.
It was a scene innocent enough at first glance. Serene, Iliya and around a dozen more people stood around a repair table in a place that resembled a workshop. The status data indicated that it was one of the hound maintenance facilities, on the outskirts of the city. An inactive hound, lifeless, was lying on the table, stretched like an anatomy dummy, its metal belly exposed and various components carefully laid out nearby. The audience all gathered around a plump man in blue working robes and a pair of glasses who was disassembling the machine, voicelessly pointing out its parts as he revealed them.
“Turn on the sound, I want to hear them,” Q ordered.
Turk did as he was told, with a little regretful sigh that went coldly disregarded.
“So as you can see, the hounds seem to be absolutely harmless,” the robed man said, pushing his glasses up after they slid down his nose. “But I think I found something that our friend Sereen will find interesting.”
Sereen looked at Iliya with a meaningful expression.
“What is it, D?” she asked.
Q couldn’t put his finger on it, but everyone else there obviously knew each other and the dissector, as well as Sereen. Iliya looked doubtful and out of this place.
Was it a mechanics course? Q wasn’t aware of any classes taught outside Academy but there were definitely clubs of interest. Was it one of those? They didn’t break this hound on purpose, did they?
“Who’s the man in glasses?” Q demanded. “He seems familiar, is it—”
“Dee Tache. He’s a Newcomer. Has been for almost a decade now. Main occupation is manual repair and maintenance of service hounds,” the Turk reported.
So Iliya and Sereen were just visiting a robotics interest group? But why be so conspiratorial about it? Why did they hide the comms to avoid being tracked?
“This one,” the man in glasses said, “And many others that I have repaired over the years, have a weird module in their corpus. It is nearly always empty or filled with some placeholder parts.”
Everyone including Sereen ooohed as if it made sense to them. Iliya still looked lost. Even filled with worry, Q couldn’t help but notice how much more graceful his figure was in contrast with the rest of the people hunched over the table, even in the wavering transmission of the camera.
Iliya, my love. What have you gotten yourself into?
“Can anyone tell me what this sector’s shape remind you of?” Dee asked.
Everyone fell silent. It was S who spoke up.
“A firearm.”
The people in the room exchanged heavy knowing looks.
“Wait,” Iliya finally said. “Do you mean to tell me that the hounds in the streets are actually armed?”
Now everyone’s eyes turned to him. Q felt an iron taste on his tongue and realised that he chewed his cheek bloody. He held his breath, not daring to skip a single word that would be spoken. These people were walking on very thin ice.
“Is he trustworthy, Sereen?” someone asked.
“First, of course he is,” Sereen bit out. “Second, why are you asking? It’s not illegal to study mechanisms, is it?”
The one who asked awkwardly shuffled back. Q felt a surreal mix of gratitude for standing up for Iliya mixed with distrust about her true intentions.
He should’ve known that that woman wasn’t backing out of her conspiracy ideas so easily. Now there’s apparently the whole group of sympathisers who probably considered themselves to be some kind of resistance force in the making. Fighting against an oppressive regime? Is that what they thought they were doing?
Jaw clenched to the point of cramping muscle, fists tight on the glossy desk, Q felt stupid for doubting his initial urge to use the cameras. He should’ve been doing it all these years, not relying on the AI whose dispersed attention couldn’t possibly pick up on things like that. This was happening right under its nose and the AI was not doing anything about these conspirators… These ungrateful… scum who were taking Ashtapadan gifts with one hand and plotting to overturn it with the other. And now Iliya was being lured into this!
D answered, “As far as I know the hounds in the street aren’t armed.”
The group visibly relaxed at these words, as he went on, “However, I find it worrying that a lot of the models that are being manufactured and work alongside humans have these strange empty modules. It almost feels like... like some kind of barrel and some ammunition can be fitted there, perhaps as an add-on. See these clasps? I used to serve and saw things like these on firearms that are meant to be mounted somewhere.”
“I told you all, didn’t I?” Sereen butted in. “There’s an army of robots that can kill us if we start disobeying.”
Iliya looked at her in horror.
“Let’s not be rash,” someone else said in a reasonable tone. “Dee said he never saw a single weapon in any of the hounds, right? We shouldn’t be jumping to conclusions here.”
You better jump in a completely different direction if you don’t want any problems.
“Yes, but they COULD be fitted with weapons, right? One moment they deliver our groceries and next thing we know they’re herding us into concentration camps!” Sereen answered, a familiar fanatic light in her eyes.
“Wait, S,” — Iliya put a gentle hand on her shoulder and the gesture pierced Q with a pang of jealousy — “Please don’t say things like this. A hound have never hurt a person before, right? I haven’t been here for long, but I’ve never had a reason to be afraid of them.”
“No reason that you know of,” S sneered. Some of the people around nodded in agreement. “Try committing a crime and see what a hound does.”
“Don’t be silly, Sereen,” D tried to reason. “Your friend is right, there’s literally no evidence the hounds might or have ever harmed anyone.”
“Well, maybe not the ones that we see in the streets,” she insisted. “Maybe a firearm can be attached to one at a moment’s notice! Maybe there’s some evil mastermind sitting behind a desk somewhere, listening to us uncovering this whole thing. Maybe he has already sent a fleet of armed robots to deal with us and they’re coming to turn us into a pin cushion!”
Everyone fell into an eerie silence.
Laughable. He would never.
Would he?
Q unclenched his fists and, as if called out by Sereen’s acumen, put conscious effort into relaxing his body.
They didn’t know what they were talking about. Children’s game, all of it. Nothing to worry about. Miriam would probably say that they should be allowed to meet up in secret and blow off steam scaring each other with their boogieman stories. They didn’t have the slightest idea what they were talking about, after all.
He should end the transmission. He’d seen enough.
“One more thing,” Sereen said, breaking the silence once again. “The ones that go through that Citizenship ceremony. I’m surprised no one talks about how they always seem to be assigned work in a completely different part of Ashtapada after that. I’ve never seen any new Citizens stay where they lived as Newcomers.”
“Alright, this is getting ridiculous,” another person said. “Everyone knows that the ceremony is actually a surgery that enhances a person’s body with implants to prolong their life. There’s a recovery period after that, of course they are sent away.”
“I think Lee is right,” D weighed in. His opinion clearly was valued. “A lot of Citizens’ neighbourhoods are also in a different part of Ashtapada so when they are given their new accommodation they have to move there.”
“Sereen...” Iliya attempted again but was cut off by her sharp glare.
“Well, why don’t they return to visit old friends then?” — there was something peculiar in her tone, something almost broken — “And if they do, they don’t seem the same?”
Everyone was tense. Q’s jaw popped with an unappetizing sound.
“Alright, everybody,” Dee concluded. “We’ve heard enough. Iliya, please take Sereen home and make sure she calms down.”
“Of course, D,” the boy promised. “It was nice meeting you all.”
Q slammed the transmission off with a palm nearly splitting the sensitive desk top in half.
The Turk looked at him with a sad “I told you it was a bad idea”.
So this was it. A group of conspirators. He would have them under constant supervision from now on. With Sereen and Iliya under his personal observation.
How could he have ignored this? How could the AI have not seen it? For years, he had played the good guy, believing in Ashtapada’s rhetoric about personal freedoms, just to stumble upon this completely by chance!
He wouldn’t be so blind now. It was sheer luck that his jealousy uncovered this wasp nest. Maybe he had to listen to his gut more often.
***
It was dark already and Q had just returned back home from a run that cleared his head a bit. A message from Iliya popped onto his screen, “Can I come over?”
***
Iliya was predictably distressed and Q felt a wave of warmth at the realisation that his student came for comfort to him and no other.
His sweet boy needed love, affection and just a tiny bit of guidance.
He wasn’t going to ask any questions. Pry him about the missing wristcomm tracking data, interrogate him on where he’d been or what he was thinking about, none of that. Iliya needed to know that if there was a safe place in this city, it was beside Q.
He was beside the man quite literally now, slender frame stretched on a barely used sofa with his head on Q’s lap, eyes closed, soft hums escaping at the hand playing with his hair. The silky strands were platinum blond now and Q once again wondered how his boy manages to change the colours so often.
Mind already clear of the cold fury he felt several hours ago, it felt as if the rest of the world ceased to exist for a while, only he and his Iliya were real, alone at his home, in this city, in this world. Nothing could have made him stop admiring the boy who seemed like he was about to fall asleep in his lap.
Very few words had been spoken since he came over.
Q brushed a thumb over Iliya’s full eyebrows, gently traced the rim of his exposed ear, his neck, his Adam’s apple. Like a sleepy cat, his student lazily revelled in the touch, turning slightly to press his skin into the caress. His sensuous lips parted a bit, as if he wanted to say something, but then pressed together again after a small sigh.
“What is it, Iliya?” Q probed. “Are you comfortable?“
A pair of dark eyes opened on the youthful face and the professor’s breath hitched for a moment. What had he done to have such treasure here, in the same room, so trusting, so delicate, looking at him with such love?
“I’m... A bit tired,” he said, evasively. “Thank you for letting me come over.”
“Anytime, cuddly boy,” Q smiled.
Iliya scoffed, “Cuddly boy? Is that the pet name you’re going with?”
“But you like cuddles, don’t you? I could call you Cuddles. Or would you prefer I call you something else? Sweety, honey, baby?”
“Miriam could’ve called me that! And she’s my grandma’s age!” Iliya laughed, but seemed pleased. “What should I call you? Now that you won’t let me call you Teach?”
“How about... a boyfriend?” Q suggested, holding his breath.
“A boyfriend!” — Iliya sat up on the sofa with his hands on his hips, face lit up in a playful offense — “It takes more for me to call someone a boyfriend than a little make-out session and some handholding, you know!”
Q chuckled.
His student was finally his mischievous self again. Better strike while the iron is hot!
“This humble servant would be happy to do anything to make his Cuddles happy tonigh...mmmn!” he said, but before he could finish, his thighs were straddled and lips were taken with a ravenous kiss as the smaller man embraced his face with both hands.
Like that day in the sewer facility, Iliya didn’t waste much time beating around the bush and let his mouth loose to explore what was on offer. There was a lot: the smiling lips of his teacher, his flushed cheekbones, his jaw that obediently turned under his persistent hands, exposing the neck with pronounced muscles. Q felt like his thoughts were melting away, the heavy sweetness already brewing in his lower parts, as he let the boy take off his shirt and trace the broad shoulders and sculpted chest with hunger.
“You’re gonna look so damn good on top of me,” Iliya breathed out, his own arousal evident in the voice as well as visually. Not a trace of shame in this devil. “Take me to the bedroom, Q.”
“What’s the rush?” the man teased lazily, stretching his arms over the backrest of the sofa. “You don’t think it’s going to be over in a minute, do you?”
Iliya whined as he ground his hips forward, still in a pair of pants, over his teacher’s abs.
The sound, or perhaps this desperate gesture, or perhaps a combination of both, sent a round of sparks under Q’s skin. He braced the delicate body on top of him, dropped it back on the sofa with his hand carefully under the other’s head.
“I’ll be on top if you say or beneath if you order. Tonight I’ll do anything you command, Cuddles, as many times as you want” he growled into his student’s ear,
Iliya gasped at a pair of strong hands hiking his shirt up, kneading the muscle of his waist, gently but persistently. The boy’s bare throat lured the other’s sight with an irresistibly bobbing Adam’s apple that didn’t go long before being covered with a hungry mouth. Dropping the other on the sofa, Q made sure to land between his thighs that are now were deliciously spread, coarse fabric no doubt pressing on the parts that desperately needed attention.
“Aaah, Q!” the young man sighed in a tight voice, rolling his hips in an attempt to get more of this delicious pressure. “Don’t tease me!”
“Patience, my sweet boy,” the man whispered hotly in his ear before carefully biting down on it. “I’ve waited for this so long, it’s your turn to suffer.”
A small noise and another forlorn grind of the hips later, Q lifted himself on his elbows to survey his newfound estate, noting with satisfaction how wrecked the boy already looked. His shiny hair in disarray, red glistening mouth panting, eyes misty, asking for more.
“You’re so fucking beautiful, Iliya,” Q revered breathlessly. “I cannot believe that you’re real.”
To his surprise, a small graceful frown darkened his student’s dazed face. Iliya tangled his fingers in the teacher’s cool strands of hair and tugged. Q let his mouth fall open at it, careless of how vulnerable he looked.
“Everyone says I’m beautiful,” Ilia said in a serious, almost scolding tone. Q didn’t think anything could sound hotter. “Tell me something new.”
The man laughed, trying to release some of the tension in the lower regions. Falling back on Iliya again he whispered in a heated chant, “Beautiful, and graceful, and smart and sexy. Greedy to be felt up by his teacher, pinned to the wall or a sofa or the bed? Wanting to be taken so bad but bossing me around? If this is your tactics to make me ravage you, my sweet boy, then it’s working.”
Effortlessly lifting the smaller body in the air, he hoisted his spoils over the shoulder and, giving them a good smack on the buttocks, finally headed to the bedroom.

DAY: MAY 22 2024
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5-22-2024

STUDY REVEALS ALARMING LEVELS OF DRUG RESIDUE ON US CURRENCY

A new study led by Thomas Jefferson University researchers has found that American currency carries much more than germs on its surface. The study used a new method of analysis to examine one-dollar bills collected from 13 cities across the U.S. Fentanyl, a potent opioid, was detected on 63% of the bills, shedding light on the widespread presence of this dangerous substance in everyday transactions.
5-22-2024

RESEARCH TEAM IDENTIFIES A NEW WAY TO TREAT PROSTATE CANCER

Active Stat5 increases protein levels of full-length androgen receptor (AR-FL) and AR variants (AR-Vs) through the induction of AR mRNA levels in PC. The American Cancer Society estimates there are nearly 300,000 new cases of prostate cancer every year in the U.S., and approximately one in eight men will be diagnosed with prostate cancer in their lifetime. Prostate cancer is often treated with androgen deprivation therapy, which lowers testosterone levels to shrink tumors. However, this treatment has side effects including sexual dysfunction and weight
5-22-2024

BRAIN IMPLANT IN CONJUNCTION WITH AI APP ALLOWS NEARLY MUTE MAN TO SPEAK IN TWO LANGUAGES

Schematic diagram of the bilingual decoding system. In each trial, the participant is presented with a target phrase in English or Spanish. The participant volitionally activates the system by attempting to speak, and this attempt is identified from the neural features by a speech-detection model. A team of neurosurgeons and AI specialists at the University of California, San Francisco, has found some success in restoring speech to a patient who lost the ability after a stroke.
5-22-2024

A DEADLY NEW RISK FOR OVERDOSE

Fentanyl, typically sold in compressed powder chunks, (and a few methamphetamine shards) and the materials commonly used to consume them via inhalation. Now that smoking has replaced injecting as the most common way to consume fentanyl, UCSF researchers have uncovered an increased risk of fatal overdose from the residue that accumulates in smoking equipment. The researchers found that people both shared fentanyl resin and consumed it accidentally. This may be increasing the risk of overdose, especially among those who use
5-22-2024

WEARABLE ULTRASOUND PATCH ENABLES CONTINUOUS, NON-INVASIVE MONITORING OF CEREBRAL BLOOD FLOW

This soft and stretchy ultrasound patch can be worn on the temple to provide continuous monitoring of blood flow in the brain. During use, the patch is connected through cables to a power source and computer. Engineers at the University of California San Diego have developed a wearable ultrasound patch that can offer continuous, non-invasive monitoring of blood flow in the brain. The soft and stretchy patch can be comfortably worn on the temple to provide three-dimensional data on cerebral blood
5-22-2024

HIGH BMI LINKED TO REDUCED BRAIN VOLUME AND INCREASED WHITE MATTER LESIONS

A recent study published in Health Data Science reveals the significant impact of high cumulative body mass index (BMI) on brain health. The research, led by Associate Professor Han Lv from Beijing Friendship Hospital, Capital Medical University, found that high BMI is associated with smaller brain volume, larger white matter lesions, and abnormal microstructural integrity. The study analyzed data from a 16-year population-based cohort to investigate the effects of cumulative BMI on neuroimaging features in adults
5-22-2024

STUDY FINDS NEW METHOD FOR DIAGNOSING SLEEP DISORDERS IN CHILDREN

Research at the University of Oklahoma, in collaboration with The University of Tulsa, has resulted in a new method of screening for sleep disorders in children. The tool, the first of its kind, allows health professionals to assess children for multiple sleep problems at once, resulting in a quicker evaluation and more targeted treatment recommendations. The research that created the tool, called a structured clinical interview, was published recently in the journal Behavioral Sleep Medicine. The publication details the effectiveness of the interview questions across several types of sleep disorders,
5-22-2024

DOGS PLAY A KEY ROLE IN VETERINARY COLLEGE’S BRAIN CANCER TRIAL

Lucy, with her boundless puppy-like energy even at 12 years old, is more than just a pet to Susan Ketcham. She’s now part of a research project that could transform the way we treat brain cancer—in both dogs and humans. This study at Virginia Tech’s Virginia-Maryland College of Veterinary Medicine explores an innovative therapy called histotripsy. It’s a leap forward from traditional cancer treatments, harnessing the power of focused ultrasound to break
5-22-2024

NEW STUDY SHOWS HOW CANCER CELLS EXPLOIT THE IMMUNE SYSTEM

New research has discovered an important breakthrough that may overcome cancer treatment resistance. The immune system has a naturally occurring ‘brake’ that tells the body to silence key killer immune cells called CD8+ T-cells as a safeguard to restrain excessive immune responses. Cancer cells are known to exploit this process, called exhaustion, by hijacking the immune system at this ‘off-switch’ to dampen down the immune attack on cancer, enabling cancer growth.
5-22-2024

STUDY FINDS ULTRAVIOLET RADIATION MAY AFFECT SUBCUTANEOUS FAT REGULATION, COULD LEAD TO NEW OBESITY TREATMENTS

The radiation enhances norepinephrine secretion, which not only decreases leptin thereby increasing food intake, but also increases energy expenditure through the browning of subcutaneous fat. Obesity and metabolic disorders are increasingly significant global public health issues. In a novel study, a team of dermatologists has evaluated the effect of ultraviolet (UV) exposure on appetite and weight regulation. They found that UV exposure raises norepinephrine levels, decreases leptin levels, and induces the browning of subcutaneous fat, thereby increasing energy expenditure. These results potentially pave the way
5-22-2024

NEW BIOMARKERS FOUND TO PREDICT KIDNEY FAILURE IN TYPE 1 DIABETES PATIENTS

In a paper published in Science Translational Medicine, researchers from City of Hope, a U.S. cancer research and treatment organization and a research center for diabetes and other life-threatening illnesses, report that they have discovered advances in predicting kidney failure in type 1 diabetes (T1D) patients. By performing the first epigenome-wide association analysis in patients with diabetic kidney disease, a research team has identified novel associations between DNA methylation activity—a biological
5-22-2024

SOME PATIENTS TAKE SECOND AT-HOME FECAL TEST TO DELAY COLONOSCOPY

A study of 316,443 patients shows that 7.4% of these patients repeated fecal testing rather than proceeding directly to colonoscopy as guidelines recommend, and of those who repeated home tests, over half did not have a colonoscopy within 1 year. The work is published in the Journal of General Internal Medicine. The study showed that among repeat testers, only 41% went on to receive a colonoscopy within one year of their initial positive fecal test. To learn more, researchers interviewed patients who had been tested twice rather than go in
5-22-2024

YOUNG PEOPLE ARE INCREASINGLY USING WEGOVY AND OZEMPIC, STUDY FINDS

Public interest in weight loss drugs like Wegovy and Ozempic is surging, but national data on dispensing patterns in the United States is surprisingly scarce. Now, a national study from Michigan Medicine shows that the use of these weight loss drugs is increasing rapidly in adolescents and young adults aged 12–25 years, especially females. Using 2020–2023 data from a national database representing 92% of pharmacies, the study team found a 594% increase in the monthly number of adolescents and young adults
5-22-2024

STUDY ANALYZES THE IMPACT OF SUMMER HEAT ON HOSPITAL ADMISSIONS IN SPAIN

A research team has carried out an analysis of hospital admissions related to high summer temperatures in Spain over more than a decade. The study concludes that the causes of hospitalization in which the heat has the most notable impact are: Metabolic disorders and obesity Renal failure Urinary tract infection Sepsis Urolithiasis Poisoning by drugs and other non-medicinal substances The research included data of more than 11.2 million
5-22-2024

NEWBORNS WHOSE MOTHER SPOKE IN A MIX OF LANGUAGES DURING PREGNANCY ARE MORE SENSITIVE TO A RANGE OF SOUND PITCHES

It’s well established that babies in the womb hear and learn about speech, at least in the third trimester. For example, newborns have been shown to already prefer the voice of their mother, recognize a story that had been repeatedly told to them while in the womb, and tell apart their mother’s native language. What wasn’t known until now was how developing fetuses learn about speech when their mother speaks to them in a mix of languages. Yet this is common: there are 3.3 billion bilingual people (43% of the
5-22-2024

RESEARCHERS DISCUSSES 25-YEAR STUDY THAT SHOWS MOTHERS’ EMPATHY FOR TEENS MAY PREDICT TEENS’ EMPATHY

A new Child Development study from researchers at the University of Virginia provides the first long-term, longitudinal evidence for the transmission of empathic care across three generations: from mother to teen to child. The findings suggest that interactions with close friends in adolescence may provide a “training ground” in which teens can practice providing care in their peer relationships and pay forward the empathy they experience from their mothers, which may help strengthen their future parenting skills. For families and service providers, supporting one generation of parents to model empathy
5-22-2024

SCIENTISTS CREATE TAILORED DRUG FOR AGGRESSIVE BREAST CANCER

Scientists have used breast cancer cells’ weakness against themselves by linking a tumor-selective antibody with a cell-killing drug to destroy hard-to-treat tumors. The research, published in Clinical Cancer Research by a team from King’s College London, marks a new method in cancer treatment. The discovery is particular to triple negative breast cancer, which makes up 15% of all diagnosed breast cancer. This type of breast cancer is typically aggressive, resistant to chemotherapy, has a lower survival rate and is more common in women under 40. Usual treatment involves surgery, chemotherapy
5-22-2024

URBAN GARDENING MAY IMPROVE HUMAN HEALTH—RESEARCH SUBJECTS BENEFIT FROM MICROBIAL EXPOSURE

It’s easy to start growing in pots indoors in spring when the weather is still cool, and then move out e.g. onto the balcony when the weather warms up. Either way, you don’t need much space. A collaborative study between the University of Helsinki, Natural Resources Institute Finland and Tampere University demonstrated that a one-month indoor gardening period increased the bacterial diversity of the skin and was associated with higher levels of anti-inflammatory molecules in the blood.
5-22-2024

DAILY MARIJUANA USE OUTPACES DAILY DRINKING IN THE US, A NEW STUDY SAYS

Daily and near-daily marijuana use is now more common than similar levels of high-frequency drinking in the U.S., according to an analysis of survey data over four decades . Millions of people in the U.S. report using marijuana daily or nearly every day, according to an analysis of national survey data, and those people now outnumber those
5-22-2024

GENITAL TALC USE POSITIVELY LINKED TO OVARIAN CANCER

There is a positive association between use of intimate care products, including genital talc, and ovarian cancer, according to a study examined the association between intimate care products and female hormone-related cancers using data from a U.S.-based cohort study enrolling 50,884 women who had a sister with breast cancer. Data on genital talc use and douching were obtained at enrollment in 2003
5-22-2024

EPIDURAL LINKED TO REDUCTION IN SERIOUS COMPLICATIONS AFTER CHILDBIRTH

Having an epidural during labor is associated with a marked reduction in serious complications in the first few weeks after giving birth, finds a study published by The BMJ. Doctors refer to these complications as severe maternal morbidity (SMM), which can include heart attack, heart failure, sepsis, and hysterectomy. Epidural analgesia is recommended for women with known risk factors for SMM, such as obesity, certain underlying conditions, or having more than one baby. These women are said to have a “medical indication” for epidural analgesia in labor. Women delivering prematurely

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