Back patio roof plans

Happy Sunday everyone. I (27F) need to get a situation off my chest and possibly advice on where to go from here.
Let’s start at the beginning, my best friend (28F) and I have been friends for nearly 14 years at this point, since we were freshman’s in HS. We’ve been inseparable pretty much since up until about a 1.5 years ago. My best friend has not had the easiest life, especially more recently. About 4 years ago, she was doing really well, had a decent job (we worked at the same place at that time) and was living with her fiancé. Everything went to shit when she found her fiancé had been cheating on her, so they split and she’s forced to move back home with her mom, which was an unfortunately toxic environment.
During this time, I myself was doing really well overall. I had a good paying stable job, a strong relationship with my BF whom I lived with (and still do). I was there to support her in anyway I could possibly. I didn’t have extra room to take her in or anything, we only had a 1 BR apartment. About 2 years after having to move home, she ends up getting fired from our job, just further piling up the string of bad things that have happened to her.
Fast forward to about 1.5 years ago… My BF and I are starting to look at buying a house and of course this is something I’m excited for. I recently had received a promotion at work that put me in a decent spot financially. I tell my friend this and she seemed genuinely excited for me. Out of excitement (and I think I was 🍃🍃 at the time), before talking to my boyfriend, say “When I get a house, you can come live with me!”, in which she was very happy about understandably given her current living situation. These are words I wish I never said, because I really think it has been detrimental to our friendship. Post 🍃🍃 clarity hits and I realize what I said, and realize how it wouldn’t work. She had gone through like 2-3 jobs at this point, in which she continued to get fired from for good cause. She, IMO, mishandles her money, which I get is her business, but if we were entering a co-living situation, it could quickly become my business. She seemed to keep her bills in check but I didn’t understand not saving up money to even try to get an apartment of your own.
For the hell of it, I bring the idea up to my BF, and while he wasn’t 100% against it, he definitely wasn’t thrilled. We discussed it at length, and ultimately decided that it would not be the right move for us. With her job record and the lack of saving up any of her money, I just didn’t understand how she would ever move on to her own place.
I tell my friend that while I love her and want the best for her, when I get a house I didn’t think it would be the best idea for us to be basically roommates. She seemed upset, which I understood and it broke my heart to tell her this as well, because I genuinely want better for her.
After this conversation, she noticeably started to distance herself from me. She would dodge making plans, take forever (days, sometimes weeks) to write me back. I took the hint, but can’t help to be hurt. She’s never brought up why she distanced herself, but I guess I don’t need her to.
One thing about her is that I am pretty much her only friend IRL. She has SO many online friends and I never really made friends online like that, so it’s not like she didn’t have anyone to vent to. I can only imagine what these people think of me, because I know she’s probably told them about this situation. My friend, to give you some context, is easily influenced. During the past year, she has switched her sexuality/gender multiple times in which I will always support her in this aspect of being her genuine true self. She has also recently self diagnosed herself with autism, which as someone who have family members that genuinely struggle with autism, this one took me back a bit, but I never said anything about my feelings surrounding that.
I finally bought my first home within the past year. An accomplishment I never thought I’d achieve. I lived in apartments my entire life, so to have something to call my own was an amazing feeling. I of course tell my friend about it and she seemed happy for me in a way, but definitely not excited. We close on the house and about a month after moving in, have a house warming party. Of course she was invited. She made up what I think was an excuse to not come over. I have made multiple attempts to invite her since and she’s declined each time. I’ve been in my home for nearly a year now and she has not come over. This genuinely hurt my feelings, but given the situation I guess I understand her reasoning.
Here we are today and I see she posts online that she’s planning on moving in the next couple months, to which I assume is with one of her online friends and out of state as I haven’t asked her about it. But AITAH to feel genuinely hurt that my best friend didn’t have the decency to tell me personally that she was moving, likely a distance away?
What would you do in this situation?

For a scenario, where you have to make large purchases and are planning to pay in full every month, is there another way to maximize rewards other than cash back.

This is mostly to vent. Finishing up year 11. 7 at my current location. I used to love it. Three years ago, there was a new principal (new to us, not to being a principal), and he brought two of his friends to the school as coworkers. Females. (The kids spread so many rumors about threesomes, it’s not even funny).
Long story short. Those three people have caused 16 staff members to quit in these last three years. Including National certified teachers, custodians- heck, we’ve had 4 teachers in ONE classroom this year due to them ignoring the student behavior issues. The ladies are just so clicky mean girl crap too.
Then this year, they hired a new department head who had never taught before (special education department). I was this person’s mentor. I tried. This person is best friends with one of the other two and basically ignored all my advice, which is fine. I documented it and moved on. Until I walked into a mandatory reporting situation. I reported it.
Since then, the retaliation against me is overwhelming. Ironic that after 6 years of my paperwork always being done correctly- and being done- that in the two months since the reporting, “I’ve” messed up 7 documents. Or not filled out anything in an IEP. I went to our union rep. Guess who graduated college with this coworker I was reporting? I called the union directly after that. They didn’t even bother to call me back.
There’s been more drama than I want to type but I’m exhausted. There was a fight on campus last week and when I found out my mentee got punched while breaking it up- I actually laughed. I kind of feel bad. But I also….don’t. I feel like these people are making me….a horrible person.
I was already planning on resigning after this year, but I just needed to vent.

There are some major items I have signed up for and I am either failing, delaying or bailing on everything I am involved in. As of now I am simply laying in bed and feel damn near paralyzed. I can get up right now but will get back to bed soon if I do so I am sure.
I need to finish nearly a dozen things at work, have about 4-5 major academic commitments, and need to plan some other things for next month, and I really don't want to skip on any of them. I have been trying to schedule appointments with my therapist but i schedule them way too early and sleep through them. The other day I stayed up overnight for a work call and ended up sleeping through it, it was so embarrassing. I don't know what is wrong with me when making friends and either ghosting or going to the opposite end, why cannot I do any single fucking thing in moderation.
I know my sessions with my therapist are just about up so there is Soon going to be nobody to talk to about this madness, and I feel bad for wasting his time because I slept through so many of his sessions. I first thought it was just the weather but it is sunnier outside and I am still doing this shit. I want to apologize to everyone I worked with, anyone I studied with, and anyone I tried to befriend, but I know it's too late for anyone to put up with this shit. I have a major exam coming up, and a performance review. I know I will bomb these hard. Things were not supposed to go this way.

Hi everyone,
I am an employment based green card holder and planning to apply for a citizenship this July. I am a bit nervous about my physical presence in US. For the record, I have spent my last 3 years in US and never stayed outside of the country for more than 6 months. However, being able to work remotely and having a long distance relationship(I know, silly), I usually went back to my home country and stayed there for few months. I did some touristic traveling to Europe as well. I was always employed and had a rental in my name during the last 5 years. How much should I be worried about the physical presence?
Thanks in advance

I plan to use a voucher to take this test soon before they switch to 701 but… I’m so scared. Anyone have any study material they used to help them pass. I’m army so I’m using my CA but I’m still so scared I might fail. A part of me is looking for ways to cheat and I know it’s wrong as hell but I’m so scared to fail because if I do I have to pay back $2000 to the army 😭😭😭😭😭 someone please guide me in the direction of some more study material

Spoilers for Curse of Strahd ahead, so read at your own risk!
You know those stories you hear every once in a while? The ones that start out with “there’s no way in hell this will work” and it winds up working anyway? We just had one of those moments in an online Curse of Strahd Campaign that I absolutely had to share. So I hope you enjoy.
Our party for this tale is thusly:
Vincent: Human Blood-Hunter
Nox: Human Warlock
Eylsa: Tiefling Druid
Coyote: Pixie Barbarian
Amor: Tiefling Artificier
Rictavio: DMPC Cleric.
Our story begins in the flooded town of Berez, home to the hag Baba Lysaga. For the past few sessions, our party had been pretty decisive in their decision to “burn the witch” as it were, but opted to go for a diplomatic approach instead, mostly because we had no plan or strategy whatsoever.
After meeting and discussing some terms with the hag, it turned out she wanted the following from the party in exchange for a gemstone she’d taken from a winery. She wanted Vincent’s speed, Nox’s tongue, Eylsa’s courage, Coyote’s last breath, Amor’s Hope, and Rictavio’s heart (Methinks she had a thing for our cleric). In any case, we found those terms unacceptable and combat began with Amor shooting her in the face with a firebolt.
First thing I had Nox do was cast fly on himself and Eylsa so he could go up to the roof so he could Thunderwave it down for his next turn. Meanwhile Coyote got right up in her face to attack and Amor popped a flaming sphere right behind her inside the hut. Meanwhile, Eylsa turned into a Huge Polar Bear and followed Nox up to the roof. After some brief talking, we had a small plan; Nox would Thunderwave the roof on his next turn, then move out of the way so Eylsa could dive-bomb the house.
And then the house’s roots started attacking us…
Nox failed his con-save and dropped 5 feet onto the roof due to loosing concentration. And with a passed acrobatics check, Eylsa managed to land on her polar bear tip-toes to avoid crushing the warlock. Figuring that he was likely going to die on his next turn, Nox went right ahead and cast that Thunderwave on the roof to try and get a hole made so Eylsa would at least have an opening.
It didn’t even make a dent.
And the tree roots were still attacking.
Luckily, Rictavio was able to keep us alive with some clutch Mass Healing Words. Meanwhile, Baba Lysaga had cast Cloudkill on the party, resulting in them all running into the hut for shelter. With the Hag still inside.
It paid off in the end as they managed to get a lot of good hits on her while Nox and Eylsa tried to take out the roof, causing her to misty step onto her skull and fly up into the air for that flying advantage.
With that, it’s Eylsa’s turn. And she proceeds tell us that there were two ideas warring for dominance inside her mind; one that played on the safe side of things and could probably reduce the amount of damage taken, one that was incredibly dumb.
Proving once and for all that we are terrible, terrible influences, we all tell her to go with the dumb idea.
Now, Eylsa had never dropped her Wildshape, meaning that while she was on the roof, she was still a huge polar bear. And now, the hag is eye level with her, some feet away from the edge.
With that information, Eylsa decides to throw herself off the roof and onto the flying Baba Lysaga… While still being a huge polar bear. Her plan was to belly-flop the hag to death.
There was some discussion about the rules of fall damage and how it would carry when there’s something huge literally pile-driving you into the ground beneath you. In the end, DM ruled that Eylsa would take the fall damage while Baba Lysaga would take the same damage, times nine.
So with that, Eylsa successfully jumps, soaring through the air right on top of Baba Lysaga and rolls the necessary 3d6. The final result was an 11 fall damage to the Polar Bear…
…And 99 damage to the hag…
…
Just let that image sink in for a bit, a huge polar bear taking a flying leap off the roof of a burning hut, splattering the hag to smithereens upon impact…
…
Once we were done cheering that the plan had actually worked, and laughing our asses off because the plan had actually worked, the house went catatonic and the party was free to loot the place to our hearts content with the hag-jelly still staining the lawn.
So the next time you get an idea that you think can’t possibly work out, go for it. If nothing else, you might get a few laughs and a dead hag out of the deal!

Isn't summer camp kind of weird? Your parents send you out into the woods with a bunch of strangers for days, weeks, and sometimes even longer. I was a camp kid. My parents would send me off to summer camp or church camp. And I would be lying if I said I didn't. Have a great time. That being said, summer camp movies hold a special place for me. Especially these movies from the '70s and '80s. Kids were just let loose during that time. It was hilarious. Not every movie can be a classic though. Such as our latest rental…
Poster
Meatballs Part 2 is a screwball summer camp comedy directed by Ken Wiederhorn who was last seen on RottenPop back in 1981 when he directed Eyes of a Stranger. This sequel to the 1979 original stars Richard Mulligan, Hamilton Camp, John Mengatti, Kim Richards, Archie Hahn, Misty Rowe, and John Larroquette. It was released to theaters in the US on July 27th, 1984.
The film follows the teens and counselors of Camp Sasquatch as they gear up for a summer of fun. But their plans are threatened when a neighboring military camp wants to buy their land. Coach Giddy (Mulligan), the camp's operator, decides to gamble the camp's future on a boxing match. Oh, and did I mention there's a weed-smoking alien?
The movie is packed with classic '80s character tropes: jocks, bimbos, greaser bullies, nerds – the whole shebang. There's also a cast of recognizable character actors. Richard Mulligan is entertaining as Coach Giddy, though he always strikes me as a budget Leslie Nielsen. Paul Reubens, as the goofy bus driver, has some great moments. I'm a big Reubens fan, so I might be biased, but I wish he had a larger role.
Interestingly, child stars Jason Hervey and Ralph Seymour, who appear in this film, later joined Reubens in his 1985 hit, Pee-wee's Big Adventure. Hamilton Camp and John Larroquette play into a sort of exaggerated, homophobic/closeted alpha male stereotype, reminiscent of the militant father in last year's Packin' it In. Larroquette is essentially reprising his Stripes (1981) shtick, which is fine by me, and it's fun to see him just before his Night Court fame. Also, one of the kid actors was previously in The Invisible Woman (1983), another film we reviewed on RottenPop.
It's a shame to see such a talented cast wasted on this material. The writing and jokes are atrocious; nothing lands. The highlight is the stoner alien – yes, an alien with a stereotypical Jewish accent, clearly added to capitalize on the popularity of E.T. I chuckled a few times during his scenes, but it wasn't enough to save the film.
I did like the scene where the kids and the alien watch Shock Waves, Wiederhorn's first film. Definitely not age-appropriate for a kids' camp! But the movie desperately needed better leads. John Mengatti, who gets the second most screen time after Mulligan, is just awful. His character is unlikable and one-dimensional. The boxing match drags on for way too long, and the climax is underwhelming. The weed-smoking alien is the only saving grace, and that's not saying much.
I watched it, but I'm not sure why I bothered. There were a few laughs, but mostly I just sat there wishing Bill Murray would show up. He's sorely missed. There are countless better summer camp movies out there, and Meatballs Part 2 falls to the bottom of the barrel. Maybe the next installment will redeem the series.
Meatballs Part 2 - #8 of the 150 Movies of 1984
Release Date: July 27th, 1984
RottenPop Rating: ★★
Director: Ken Wiederhorn Writers: Martin Kitrosser, Carol Watson, & Bruce Singer Starring: Richard Mulligan, Kim Richards, John Larroquette, Paul Reubens, and John Mengatti
Studios: TriStar Pictures
Country: USA
Genres: Comedy

I’m looking to export my start a data as far back as I possibly can and use it to run reports and plan future training blocks.
What are some of the best practices for getting this data?

Hello friends, I (30M-Married-No kid) have taken a home loan worth of 60L with a tenure of 20yrs 1.5 yrs back. My EMI is close to 34% of my in hand salary, I used my 80% savings and investments for this purchase, because of which I had to restart my investing journey. I have this itch of closing the loan ASAP because I don’t feel comfortable rn, and I am pre-paying all the bonuses that I get from job. Now, obviously because of this I am not able to vacation or purchase electronic appliances etc. And I almost always have to break my investments to purchase anything or go out on vacation. Please advise me on 1. Am I doing the right thing by pre-paying everything? 2. If no, How should I plan my loan repayments?
TIA for your time!!

We are going to stop at Costa Maya. I saw this shore excursion of Mayan wellness ritual spa package. I really want to give that as a special treat to my wife. But we have other plans at that port, with kids and all, I don’t want to book in advance with cruise line then get our schedule all tied down by it. I’m hoping if we end up still have plenty of time on hand maybe I can just walk up to them and get the same service directly. Is it possible? I can’t seem to find any information online. When I Google it, all results are back from different cruise lines Thanks in advance!

I [F23] moved away from home to different country (australia )since i was a teenager, now i’m married with a toddler.
I was born and raised in Vietnam. I didn’t have the worst childhood, It was bad but not the worst, I was actually spoiled they gave me everything i wanted but from my memory i spent half of my childhood with a nanny. My parents would go out drinking with friends, benders, .. i would wake up upset next to my nanny knowing my parents didn’t come home the night before. When i was in pre school i had a competition out of town , when it was over i remember walking to the front to look for my parents and none of them were there while the other kids were getting picked up, i stood there alone for a good 10 minutes and my teacher offered to take me home and 10 minutes later they showed up, turned out they were drinking with friends somewhere , i had to come with them and they made me sit at a separate table to wait. As a kid it felt terrible. All of my birthday parties were theirs , they would drink with friends till off their head and it was never about me. Travelling, i loved travelling, but yes of course they would also be off their head every time we traveled, and guess where i had to be? either at a separate table or in a hotel room alone. I spent most of the time staying in so i never got so see or experience and anything. Looking back it hurts my heart so much because i would never do that to my kids . Years later there was one time when i was in primary my mum forgot to pick me up from school and i had to walk home.. she was drunk and there was no apology whatsoever. When i was in year6 ( 12 years old) i was locked outside until 12am because my parents were drinking somewhere, I called them multiple times but they didn’t care so i had to ride my bike to their drinking spot, i was so angry that i threw my bike on the side of the road and my dad slapped me in the face twice in front of their friends for ‘embarrassing’ them, he then took me home and grabbed me by my hair and continued to beat me up. I don’t think i remember the exact amount of time they abused and neglected me when they were drunk
Now i have my own family in a different country, I don’t see them as often anymore but we still have a good relationship. They wanted to visit us and I tidied up the place for them, planned the week as i wanted to show them around ( they’ve never been here before) I was very excited because i missed them . On their first day here i took them out for lunch, when my family and I showed up there was 2 of their friends (who are also Vietnamese but live in Australia) sitting at the table, so there wasn’t room for us we had to sit at a separate one. Family lunch was ruined as i expected it to be bonding time between us. My parents then decided to leave with them to go out drinking. Like on your first day here? Seriously? My toddler was so sad because she really wanted to spend with her grandparents and they knew that but they didn’t care, they wanted to prioritise drinking with friends first. I had a go at them saying that they were selfish , inconsiderate and unappreciative, and that they should’ve not put their friends first over family since we see each other once every couple years!! All of a sudden it felt like i was my younger self once again getting neglected, resenting my parents. They then got angry at me wanting to book a flight home because ‘ they don’t enjoy it here’ . I haven’t spoken to them since and apparently they’re actually leaving tomorrow. I don’t think i was wrong for being upset with the fact that they chose their friends on their first day here? Thoughts?

This past week has been hard on my brain. I mean, I've changed my eating and drinking habits and in turn have lost some weight. (37 lbs) since mid February. My brain chemistry is all over the place.
Yesterday, I was making breakfast for the wife and found myself baking like a little baby. I'm 54 and the toast with jam wasn't that bad.
I'm in severe pain in my right side, lower back. No idea what that is. The fatigue is the worst, but my depression has been through the roof.
I see my primary care doctor on Friday. Hopefully he'll tell me something good.
I've yet to figure out how to reduce my stress levels at work. The micromanaging from my boss is like a needle under the skin. I no longer enjoy going to work and that bothers me. I'm not in a position to quit.
I'm just rambling now..

Howdy, Just got back into the game after about 2 years. I’m looking to buy a Holy Fire. Doesn’t matter what rolls as long as it’s fairly priced. I plan on re-rolling anyways.
Please notify me on here and add me “Achawks123” if interested. I live in South Korea so weekends are the best time for trading but I can probably work something else out.

So i hooked up with someone a few months ago, however it was two days before I made it official with my current girlfriend. They both know and are okay with it. I talked with my girlfriend about it and while she was annoyed at me for it, I was pretty unsure of getting into the relationship at the time (it's long distance) so was just in a weird state of mind and she's pretty understanding about it. Me and the girl I hooked up with go to the same college and actually see each other a lot since we have a lot of mutual friends, we're generally pretty friendly but on the whole there's nothing really there and my current relationship is really good. The part where I might have cheated was at the other night where a few of us went to a bar, after a while we were the only ones left plus her friend who was pretty drunk. Her friend wanted to stay over at her house and she agreed, I offered to walk them home and while she initially refused I pointed out that it was a half hour walk in the dark with a drunk friend so she said yes. When we got back to her house, her friend was black out, vomited in her front yard and fell asleep on her bed. I helped get her inside then planned to call a cab, however we ended up talking for a while. We talked till about 6am just about random things however, at one point i admitted I had feelings for her a while ago. She immediately changed the topic, and went to bed a bit afterwards and told me I could stay on her sofa. We haven't really talked since, but when I did try to she seemed a bit awkward. I know I need ro tell my gf about staying on her couch, however I'm worried if staying on the sofa plus admitting I had feelings for her was a form of cheating. I really don't feel anything for her anymore, it was just a random 4am thought.

So my wife and I have been together for 8 years, married for 3. Both in our mid-30s and now have a toddler. She works in the tech world, I'm in real estate. As a couple, we do well financially and contribute roughly 50/50 depending on how I do from year-to-year (sometimes maybe more like 60/40 in her favor, other times 60/40 in mine). We don't have any major issues though we still deal with little annoying arguments about dumb shit like most married couples with a new child.

• My wife has always been a little jealous of my work/life balance as my own boss and I understand why. Real estate can be a cushy gig when you're not greedy and decent at the job. The downside is that every day I wake up not knowing when my next paycheck is coming - which is definitely stressful at times. My wife (let's call her Elle) has a well-paid salary position with good benefits (namely FREE health insurance for her entire family). And about a year ago she finished a 6-figure masters degree to help push her further in her career and create more professional opportunity for herself. Unfortunately, she's miserable with her job. I get it, her boss sucks, the why is kind of irrelevant. For almost 2 months now she's emotionally drained every day and on the verge of tears almost every night. I'd want to leave too.
  
• So we came up with a plan. While I've been in my industry for awhile, I just branched off and started my own business within it about a year ago. It's gone well so far and should have a bright future but it's still very early and likely going to experience it's fair share of bumps in the road along the way. Also, I'm not super entrepreneurial and I only work as hard as I need to in order to enjoy the life we've created for ourselves (think 30-40 hours per week vs 50-60+ like the "grind & hustle" mindset bros on Insta). A healthy work/life balance is more important to me than retiring at 50 but being exhausted and missing my kid's childhood.
  
• Elle's Master's Degree is in Business Development and Marketing. What a coincidence - I have a company that needs to be developed and marketed, Elle wants to market a company and be in charge of it's growth/development. So I suggest "why don't you come grow my company and help me expand it? Not only will it help provide for us financially in the long-run but you will have that freedom that you've been yearning for since forever." She agrees it's a perfect fit. Likely two steps back to take three steps forward over the next couple years but totally worth the early sacrifices. So the next step is leaving her job. But that takes a bit of planning for a few reasons.
  
• One - health insurance/salary/bonus timing. We need to be smart about this so we don't end up taking the L for no reason if it's avoidable without much sacrifice. Two - alignment of some of my transactions closing and paydays associated. Three - we have a contract with a nanny until the end of July for our toddler that runs us roughly $3k/mo. The plan we ultimately decided on was to have her give 4-weeks notice at end of June / early July. If they boot her that day, whatever we can handle it. But losing her will be a big hit for them in her role so they'll likely have her help to find/train a replacement at the very least before leaving. Once leaving entirely by early August, she wants to be a stay-at-home-mom with our child for 6-8 weeks until they hit 1y/o and can go to daycare. It's a pivotal time in our child's development and being able to be a significant part of it will be wonderful for them both and I desperately want it for them.
  
• BUT! The idea has always been to come work with me full-time after that and sending our child to daycare during the work day. Our expenses are built on a dual-income household and we now also have 6-figure student loan debt from Elle's grad degree AND a new (to us) expense in health insurance for the family. If the work with me isn't a fit for her or we just can't seem to make the numbers work out after our runway has been used up, she would go back to corporate America and find a new job. We even took out a HELOC on our home just as a failsafe for liquidity if absolutely necessary so we wouldn't have to pull from any penalized/taxed retirement accounts.
  
• Well we found out this weekend that THREE sets of couples we are mutually friends with locally are transitioning to a single-income home with a SAHM for their new children. She told me tonight after chatting with them that she wants to take an extended leave from working full-time so she can spend important time with our child instead of sending them to daycare. When I asked Elle what that meant and how long she was planning, she said "indefinitely". Which to her just basically means "until I'm ready to go back". We got into a big fight because I explained to her that we are not in a financial position to support ourselves off my COMMISSION-ONLY income that can be highly variable with no benefits. Sure we could manage for a handful of months but not indefinitely. Our mutual friends choosing to do it have different circumstances - namely husbands in very safe and financially secure salary-based roles with benefits (and additionally wives with only moderate income jobs that won't be dramatically missed when accounting for the savings of childcare expenses).
  
• Elle feels like I'm not supporting her and said she feels very pressured to continue working and "provide" with a stable salary and healthcare. She doesn't want to miss important moments with our child and feels like the only way to ensure that happens is if she stops working full-time and instead does little "side hustle" type work in the evenings after the baby is put to sleep. As a reference, the side hustles are learning affiliate marketing, blogging, paid reviewing, selling old stuff on FB marketplace, etc. It's not like she wants to start her own company on the side instead of working for mine. She also keeps bringing up how she supported me in my professional transition into real estate many years ago and carried the brunt of the financial obligations but I won't do the same for her. Which I feel like is an unfair comparison. I was transitioning from one career to another and working part-time jobs during the 6-8 months it took me to get ramped up into my very real full-time position in real estate. She wants to transition from work to no work and have me agree to support that.
  
• I can't seem to help her see that logically it's not about a lack of support. I showed my support for her transition into a career with more personal freedom when I told her she could quit her job tomorrow as long as she had a plan for when the baby went to daycare in a few months. Whether that's a new job in the corporate world or working with me to grow the family business or any other income-replacing endeavor. I don't care what it is as long as it's bringing in legitimate income or working towards that with a light at the end of the tunnel. I feel like THAT is supporting her choice to leave her toxic circumstance. But what I don't support is committing to a single income when we are just not stable enough to handle it. And when she said she felt pressured I explained that her statement seems selfish because she's asking ME to take on all of OUR financial responsibility with a young child so that she can stay at home and not work while I also pay for our new healthcare obligations AND pay off her student loan debt that she just got. It literally makes zero sense to me why she can't see that this is our reality and I would also choose to not work if it was an option but unfortunately it puts far too much burden on the now sole-earning spouse to handle it all. I know a lot of people do it but it's not as impactful if a spouse goes from being a teacher at $40k/yr to a SAHM that saves the family $20k/year in childcare. It's only a $20k net loss. Elle is a comfortable 6-figure employee so I just don't think it's fair to ask or even realistic to expect me to agree to. Sure I COULD work 80 hours a week and make more money by investing more time but why should I have to? She's always been very professionally driven (hence the recent Master's Degree) and it seems unfair to build a life on the expectation of two incomes just to bail as soon as our obligations get more complicated and then expect me to pick up the slack by myself. I would not expect Elle to do it for me so I'm frustrated that she thinks it's ok.
  

Anyways - Am I being the asshole here by telling her that she's being selfish and that we can't afford to drop down to a single-income household?

Race information

• What? RBC Brooklyn Half
• When? May 18, 2024
• How far? 13.1 miles
• Where? New York, NY
• Website: https://www.nyrr.org/races/2024rbcbrooklynhalf
• Finish time: 1:40:XX

Goals

Goal	Description	Completed?
A	Sub 1:38	No
B	Sub 1:40	No
C	As far sub 2:00 as possible	Yes
D	Run really fast	Yes

Background

I was an athlete, but never a runner. Growing up I played baseball and soccer, then lacrosse and football. Running was something done in laps, and it was a punishment. I went on one run as a teenager, but it was with a girl I thought was cute, and I could barely keep up with her. Then, at 17, I tore my ACL. At 18 I had two surgeries for post-op infections from the ACL surgery. At 19, another surgery to remove one of the original screws from the ACL. At 20, I tore my meniscus and had a partial meniscectomy.
A few years later, I started running a little. Nothing regular, or structured. Then I made friends with a triathlete and was inspired to sign up for some races. I hated the swim, liked the bike, tolerated the run. I don’t think I ever ran more than 6.2 miles for the entirety of my 20s.
By 30, I couldn’t run. Osteoarthritis had kicked in hard and athletic stuff was too painful to enjoy. By 32 I was talking to orthopedic surgeons about a knee replacement. Injections didn’t work, and PT was prehab. Daily life was too much. I couldn’t sleep through the night, I was icing my knee at my desk during the day, stairs were a thing to be avoided if possible and navigated carefully if required - the whole bit. Keeping up with two toddlers was impossible.
A medium-sized miracle happened. I was accepted into a clinical trial, the “Atlas Study” for a new surgically implanted device that offloaded the medial side of the knee. I was nearly the last of 50 patients in this study - and definitely one of the youngest. Atlas was successful, and another trial followed, and then FDA approval just before the six years anniversary of my surgery. The device is now known as the MISHA Knee System.

Training

I ran somewhat irregularly, 8-10 miles in a good week, post-COVID. We got a treadmill in 2020 because my wife used to go the gym solely to run. So I made use of it, and never ran outside, 2020-April 2024.
I got it in my head to run a half marathon around the holidays. I was feeling good, and wanted a new goal. I started climbing again in September 2023, and wanted another, complementary challenge - something more concrete. I started my training the second week of January. I had no idea what I was doing. I just hoped I could train successfully, and without triggering knee pain.
I looked at the Hal Higdon Novice 1, and tweaked to my purposes - 3 days a week of running, three days of climbing, and some kickboxing classes thrown in for good measure. Plus a two week ski trip at serious altitude in late March - I’ll come back to this. So: Monday and Wednesdays were shorter runs, Saturdays were long runs. Tuesday, Thursday, and Sunday were climbing days at my local gym. Plus a goal of a weekday kickboxing class and a weekend kickboxing class, which meant some days were a double. It was a big jump in training volume.
Monday and Wednesday runs started out at 3 miles and built up in half mile increments to 5, according to Hal’s plan. Dearest Hal says next to nothing about pace, so like an enthusiastic but naive child I just ran as close to my goal pace as possible, over the distance specified, hoping to get the treadmill to an average of 6.6. I basically negative split my runs at threshold out of the gates. And Saturday runs? The same thing. Trying to get to 6.6 on that treadmill. From no consistent base.
Then at the end of January I tore my TFCC - plus two other ligaments in my wrist. No climbing for 8 weeks, no kickboxing for at least that long. Cross training plans are out for a while.
Nothing but running to keep me sane, for a bit. Stuck with three days a week. I skipped racing the 5k and 10k in the plan and just advanced the long run to the next mile. But that ski trip hit, right after I ran 10 miles for the first time. Two weeks with a ton of cross training, and almost zero running - I tried one run, but at ~9000 feet instead of home at ~20, I died after about 2 miles.
Post trip, I had six weeks to race day. Climbing was back in as cross training. Shorter runs were all 5 miles, Saturday runs were 9, 10, 13.1, 10, 3, race day. I started reading Reddit voraciously and my TikTok feed started giving me running coaches and I discovered this wild idea called “zone 2 running” - wow was it easier! So weird. For the first time I did some intervals, some threshold work, a 10 mile progression run, and actual easy runs. It was in early April when I realized my original goal - break 2 hours - was the wrong time altogether. That 13.1 mile run was my second run off a treadmill. I had downloaded Strava but didn’t know it could tell me my times in my headphones. I just went out for an 11 mile run, felt good, extended it, and found out afterwards that I ran a 1:42:XX. I was shocked, my treadmill pace had never been that fast. And I was trying hard, but maybe not as hard as possible. I set new goals.
The next weekend I did a 10 mile progression run outside, with Strava telling me times. I had basically no time to learn what different paces felt like, so I negative split 10 miles and tried to remember what felt good, and what felt like too much.
Before you know it, it was time to taper. Another new experience for me. One climbing session, no kickboxing, 3 mile runs.

Race Day

I drove myself nuts trying to decide whether to run in my assigned corral, 1L, or drop back to 2A. Passing thousands of people or open roads? I’ll never know if I made the right call.
Slept horribly. Maybe 3.5 hours. Multiple wakeups and I was up for good at 4:10. I tried to use everything I learned about nutrition in the days leading up to the race - I was so hydrated, and had so. many. carbs. I had a very upset stomach on race morning and went light with food, had some Imodium, and focused on trying to follow the routine I laid out.
Commute was fine, getting checked in was fine, adrenaline was starting to kick in. Positioned myself at the front of L, and suddenly realized how many people were out there. It felt like forever to start moving, and then the slow walk… and around the corner, which I didn’t expect, and I started Strava early. And we’re off!
Within a minute it’s obvious that I am not going to be able to set my own pace against the prevailing tide of humanity. Maybe half a mile in I see a few people using the sidewalk on the right - nah, I think, then about 15 seconds later I’m blocked ahead and to my left and so say fuck it and go. Good decision.
My focus on the first 5k was not to go out too fast, but not to get bogged down in traffic. 7:58 mile average per NYRR. Mission accomplished.
My focus in the second 5k was to control the hills, but not burn out. And not create a big time deficit. And not get bogged down in traffic. 8:00 per mile average. Mission very accomplished.
10-15k, I wanted to open it up a bit. Not full throttle, I was worried about leaving something in the tank. And not getting bogged down in traffic. It was spacing out a bit more, but I was still running on the left side for clearer roads most of the time, and working right to get to the water stations. 7:27 average. Mission accomplished, and feeling good
Now we’re between mile 9 and 10. I take my third gel just before the aid station, and start to think about how fast I can go. Mile 10 of that progression run in training was 6:47. That’s the goal now. In retrospect - it was also with a vest, uncrowded Central Park roads, no slowing for aid stations. Repeat after me: you should not be upset with actual results. Mile 11-12 sucked. It was probably the only time I didn’t negative split. But: 15k to 20k - 7:21
Home stretch - I did not pay enough attention to the map; to Reddit, to NYRR’s descriptions. The big right on Surf Road? A surprise. Started my kick. The ramp to the Boardwalk? I guess it was new, but man did it feel terrible. Second attempt at a kick. Do not get bogged down. Smile! We’re through. 7:02 pace.

Post-race

Would I have run faster in Wave 2? We’ll never know, and hopefully never find out. Passing thousands of people because I guessed wrong about my time was weird. I used a lot of energy and ran a fair bit of extra distance because of it. 17 seconds to beat 1:40? Maybe. Or maybe I needed to pass people for motivation.
But more than anything, as I reflect, I am grateful. I’m grateful to be able to run at all, because I know what it’s like to struggle to walk.I am grateful for my doctor that referrred me to the study, to my surgeon, Dr Andreas Gomoll, to all the people behind the MISHA device. I’m grateful to Abby Bales, my PT for prehab and rehab from surgery, and everyone who has been a part of my crazy orthopedic history.
I caught the running bug. I’ll be back. Sub 1:35 feels like the next step. I’ve only just begun, and I achieved my biggest goal - run happy. I have the race photos to prove it.
This post was generated using the new race-reportr, powered by coachview, for making organized, easy-to-read, and beautiful race reports.

All he said was that he had a crush on me since junior year back in March. It’s now senior year and we went to prom together and I even invited him over twice in the 3 months we were planning for prom. Well… now what is there to do? We have no classes together but he has recommended me anime and I’m trying to get into it ig. I’m not a good texter and I recently told him that I like that he texts first. I’ve only started that conversation twice and they were probably related to prom. We are both quiet and introverted people, however he has friends and I do not. His friends told me that he does talk and I know he does because we’ve technically been acquaintances since 6th grade. They explained that it might be because I’m a girl and I know neither of us have had any romantic experiences. I want to start interesting or even random conversations. Maybe even flirt with him for fun because he seems clueless and I think that’s cute or whatever. I don’t think he ever gave me a compliment or even tried to flirt (even at prom) so would it be weird to ask him why he didn’t tell me sooner? Or what he liked about me? To be honest I think he’s waiting for me to give him a sign or something because now in person he’s shy around me and constantly smiling. Whereas, last year in class our conversations could be brief and not awkward at all. We have each other’s roblox (any game recs he mostly likes those anime fighting games), and he’s an anime nerd and I’m a huge superhero nerd. Any random conversation starters too?

Long post but my mother just bought a 4 month old doberman and I think she does not fully comprehend what it takes to take care of the dog. She bought him for her store. She wanted a dog that looks scary to keep away possible robbers and such. We have an older GSD that was meant to do the same but she gave up on him and now he sits at home and is severely depressed. I am worried she will do the same to this dog. She says she will exercise him but I know she won’t. Her idea of exercise is letting him out into our small fenced in back yard. It is taking such a toll on me thinking about it. Sometimes I think it is borderline animal cruelty to keep such a high energy dog cooped up in a house or cage. I am trying my best right now to walk him and play with him but there isn’t much I can do as I leave at the end of the summer to go back to college. I am also working full time this summer. I plan to try to walk and “mentally stimulate” him (I don’t really know how to do this but am watching videos on how to, I saw that lick mats and such can be good) before work and possibly after work. Does anyone have any general advice? She won’t get rid of or return the dog I know that much.
Edit: At her store she plans to keep him caged most of the day. He is just for customers to look at.