Christmas chain messages
Marriott
2014.09.30 09:48 falco_iii Marriott
Marriott International, Inc., is a global leading lodging company with more than 4,400 properties in 87 countries and territories. The company operates under 30 brands.
2014.12.24 09:26 ajayudayagiri Merry Christmas Images
Merry Christmas images is a community which shares christmas wishes, images, greetings, wallpapers, messages, SMS, and facebook status.
2010.03.06 12:20 1nch Polkadot
Welcome to the community led Polkadot subreddit! Polkadot is a platform that allows diverse blockchains to transfer messages, including value, in a trust-free fashion; sharing their unique features while pooling their security. In brief, Polkadot is a scalable, heterogeneous, multi-chain technology. On this subreddit you can learn more about Polkadot, what makes it so exciting and engage in the Polkadot community!
2024.05.19 21:46 gaveup12 My sister fired me
This all happened a year back. I (30M) was working for a medium scale business as a associate. I have a sister (28F) who also studied the same field as mine and once she graduated I referred her to my company and she was selected for the same role as me. We have been working together for 6 years and I had worked alone for 8 years. I know the she is qualified more than me for this role, so I knew she had the potential to grow better in this industry that's why 3 years ago when our manager quit the role and when the company was looking to promote someone from the team to the position even I voted my sister as I trusted in her capabilities. She and I got along really well, but once she became manager, she slowly started drifting away, as in she had her own circle of friends in office and I did not mind it as I too had a couple of friends who I frequently hang in the office before she came in.
The problem arose 2 years ago when the company was downsizing since during covid they mass recruited as the work demanded more and the company earned more but after covid when things went back to normal, they were paying more people but the work was less. Seems fair. So all the managers and HRs were informed about this and were asked to identify individuals who are unproductive to send them out of the company. Even my sister was a part of the email chain. Her circle of friends are none other then some of our colleagues who work along with us. These colleagues and I dont get along very well since we had an altercation in the first year of me joining about them dumping the work load on the rest of the team and basically I whistle blew and they haven't spoken with me ever since apart from general work discussions. So that's why I distanced myself with my sister as she became good friends with them. She knew we were not in good terms but did not know the reason.
So for downsizing she had to do research on the productivity metric and she went to ask her group about the members who are unproductive and they obviously pointed at me and another colleague of ours. I did not know about the reason of her targeting me until later after I was out of the job. So, she basically called me in to a meeting in her cabin with HR and straight forward said that I would have resign myself or I would be terminated from the job and that would look bad on my resume. When enquired the reason she said that I was not a team player and I am unproductive compared to the rest. I was pissed and angry but I asked her if she really thought that and she said that she had reasonable means to send me out. I asked her whether she took my actual work into account when taking this decision. She just said that she knows what she was doing and that I should resign. I just resigned on the spot and told her that we are done and we are not even siblings anymore and to not contact me anymore. I had two securities follow me when I went to collect my things and left the office. And I took my things and left. The next day my friend from work called and informed the above mentioned reasons for my termination. I just shook my head in disbelief and said that I don't care.
Indeed I have to pay bills, so without wasting time, I applied for similar roles in other companies and it took 3 months for me to get back into another job with a decent hike and a senior position at that. I was happy with the outcome. My family knew what happened and everyone supported her in the terms of her being impartial and true to herself instead of supporting Nepotism and that I should be ashamed of myself. I tried explaining the real reason but none were ready to listen to it, including my parents. So I went no contact with them saying they have only child and its their daughter and that their son is dead. I moved on with myself. The new job was in a different state from where I was from. So basically I moved away from my family and friends. I was still in touch with only friend from work who knew about what happened. My family tried contacting a few times basically asking me to stop being childish and to comeback. After ignoring them for a month they said that they are disowning me as I am making my sister feel guilty for her genuine right decision. So I said Ok and blocked them all.
They have not reached me from then. I know that I blocked their contacts but they still had other means like my email, getting alternate number or calling through relatives but no efforts taken. So I took the loss and moved on. That was until few weeks ago, I got a call from an unknown number, I just picked up the call and I heard my sister crying on the other end. I immediately knew who it was and I cut the call. This was followed by my family who called back to back and I did not pick any call. I just muted my phone and went to sleep that evening. The next day I woke up to 56 missed calls from my mom, dad and my sister. Followed by a message from her saying that she was sorry and that she made a huge mistake and that she wants to apologize to me and reconcile. I did not respond and I called my friend asking if anything happened at the office. He filled me in on the recent turn of events. Apparently my sister saw a dip in the productivity of the team after the other colleague and I quit the company. When they did the analysis to prepare the year end report she noticed significant dip in productivity after we quit. So, she went back to do the math on the work the new joiners and the existing members have done and noticed that even the newly joined employees had worked more than her circle of friends. That's when it hit her that I was not lying and that I meant it when I asked her to look at the work we do. After that, she had a warning from her Heads and following which she has basically terminated all her friends who were causing the dip in the work. From the calls and messages I can see that she has come clean with all our friends and relatives and she is desperate to contact me and apologize to me. To be honest I have moved on. I responded back that I forgave her for blindly trusting people and sacking me but that I will never forget what she did and that I don't hold a grudge against her but I want no contact that I was not related to them when they decided to disown me. This brings me to yesterday. I was at home and I heard someone ring the doorbell. I opened the door without any thought and noticed mom dad and sister standing at the door. I immediately closed the door. They kept banging the door. I just calmly responded back saying that they dont have to reconcile with me. They can move on with their lives, that I forgave them but that I dont want anything to do with them. I know that I may have been harsh but what I said is what I felt.
For additional context, I do have a girlfriend who is 37F (we met after I moved to this new place). She is with a 4 year old son but she never married to her baby daddy since he was not interested to get married by my gf wanted to marry and settle down. They broke up because of that but are cordial since they have a kid and for his sake. She knows about all the things that happened, she said that she supports me but that she feels that my sister made a stupid mistake of trusting people who she genuinely thought of as her friends. I don't think that is an enough reason for her blindly sacking her own brother out who helped with her career.
TBH, her forcing me to quit actually helped with my career growth, since I am in a senior position at this new job and I earn around 70 percent more than what I earned earlier. I am saving up for a down payment to buy a house at this new place as I am staying at a rented space and I feel the rent is expensive. (Why pay someone when I can pay the dues for my own place?)
Also, I am not from US. I am from a third world country. So trust me when I say this, suing the ex company and ex colleagues is a waste of my time and money as it will take years to even see some form of justice.
TL;DR! My sister fired me trusting her work friends and a year later she understood what happened and now she wants to reconcile but I have moved on and I don't want anything to do with her or my family.
submitted by gaveup12 to relationships [link] [comments]
The problem arose 2 years ago when the company was downsizing since during covid they mass recruited as the work demanded more and the company earned more but after covid when things went back to normal, they were paying more people but the work was less. Seems fair. So all the managers and HRs were informed about this and were asked to identify individuals who are unproductive to send them out of the company. Even my sister was a part of the email chain. Her circle of friends are none other then some of our colleagues who work along with us. These colleagues and I dont get along very well since we had an altercation in the first year of me joining about them dumping the work load on the rest of the team and basically I whistle blew and they haven't spoken with me ever since apart from general work discussions. So that's why I distanced myself with my sister as she became good friends with them. She knew we were not in good terms but did not know the reason.
So for downsizing she had to do research on the productivity metric and she went to ask her group about the members who are unproductive and they obviously pointed at me and another colleague of ours. I did not know about the reason of her targeting me until later after I was out of the job. So, she basically called me in to a meeting in her cabin with HR and straight forward said that I would have resign myself or I would be terminated from the job and that would look bad on my resume. When enquired the reason she said that I was not a team player and I am unproductive compared to the rest. I was pissed and angry but I asked her if she really thought that and she said that she had reasonable means to send me out. I asked her whether she took my actual work into account when taking this decision. She just said that she knows what she was doing and that I should resign. I just resigned on the spot and told her that we are done and we are not even siblings anymore and to not contact me anymore. I had two securities follow me when I went to collect my things and left the office. And I took my things and left. The next day my friend from work called and informed the above mentioned reasons for my termination. I just shook my head in disbelief and said that I don't care.
Indeed I have to pay bills, so without wasting time, I applied for similar roles in other companies and it took 3 months for me to get back into another job with a decent hike and a senior position at that. I was happy with the outcome. My family knew what happened and everyone supported her in the terms of her being impartial and true to herself instead of supporting Nepotism and that I should be ashamed of myself. I tried explaining the real reason but none were ready to listen to it, including my parents. So I went no contact with them saying they have only child and its their daughter and that their son is dead. I moved on with myself. The new job was in a different state from where I was from. So basically I moved away from my family and friends. I was still in touch with only friend from work who knew about what happened. My family tried contacting a few times basically asking me to stop being childish and to comeback. After ignoring them for a month they said that they are disowning me as I am making my sister feel guilty for her genuine right decision. So I said Ok and blocked them all.
They have not reached me from then. I know that I blocked their contacts but they still had other means like my email, getting alternate number or calling through relatives but no efforts taken. So I took the loss and moved on. That was until few weeks ago, I got a call from an unknown number, I just picked up the call and I heard my sister crying on the other end. I immediately knew who it was and I cut the call. This was followed by my family who called back to back and I did not pick any call. I just muted my phone and went to sleep that evening. The next day I woke up to 56 missed calls from my mom, dad and my sister. Followed by a message from her saying that she was sorry and that she made a huge mistake and that she wants to apologize to me and reconcile. I did not respond and I called my friend asking if anything happened at the office. He filled me in on the recent turn of events. Apparently my sister saw a dip in the productivity of the team after the other colleague and I quit the company. When they did the analysis to prepare the year end report she noticed significant dip in productivity after we quit. So, she went back to do the math on the work the new joiners and the existing members have done and noticed that even the newly joined employees had worked more than her circle of friends. That's when it hit her that I was not lying and that I meant it when I asked her to look at the work we do. After that, she had a warning from her Heads and following which she has basically terminated all her friends who were causing the dip in the work. From the calls and messages I can see that she has come clean with all our friends and relatives and she is desperate to contact me and apologize to me. To be honest I have moved on. I responded back that I forgave her for blindly trusting people and sacking me but that I will never forget what she did and that I don't hold a grudge against her but I want no contact that I was not related to them when they decided to disown me. This brings me to yesterday. I was at home and I heard someone ring the doorbell. I opened the door without any thought and noticed mom dad and sister standing at the door. I immediately closed the door. They kept banging the door. I just calmly responded back saying that they dont have to reconcile with me. They can move on with their lives, that I forgave them but that I dont want anything to do with them. I know that I may have been harsh but what I said is what I felt.
For additional context, I do have a girlfriend who is 37F (we met after I moved to this new place). She is with a 4 year old son but she never married to her baby daddy since he was not interested to get married by my gf wanted to marry and settle down. They broke up because of that but are cordial since they have a kid and for his sake. She knows about all the things that happened, she said that she supports me but that she feels that my sister made a stupid mistake of trusting people who she genuinely thought of as her friends. I don't think that is an enough reason for her blindly sacking her own brother out who helped with her career.
TBH, her forcing me to quit actually helped with my career growth, since I am in a senior position at this new job and I earn around 70 percent more than what I earned earlier. I am saving up for a down payment to buy a house at this new place as I am staying at a rented space and I feel the rent is expensive. (Why pay someone when I can pay the dues for my own place?)
Also, I am not from US. I am from a third world country. So trust me when I say this, suing the ex company and ex colleagues is a waste of my time and money as it will take years to even see some form of justice.
TL;DR! My sister fired me trusting her work friends and a year later she understood what happened and now she wants to reconcile but I have moved on and I don't want anything to do with her or my family.
2024.05.19 21:45 ItzASecretBoi Attempting to remove VeinMiner, but I can't find it. [Help?]
Hey, if you've clicked on this post, your probably willing to help me out real quick, I'm working on a vanilla ++ modpack for a modded game with me and my buddies, but for some reason I have Vein Miner, which I personally would like to remove. Unfortunately for me I can't find it and I've scanned this pack like 5 times now, and I cannot for the life of me find the Vein Miner mod.
If anyone glances at this and just so happens to know the culprit, thanks!
submitted by ItzASecretBoi to feedthebeast [link] [comments]
If anyone glances at this and just so happens to know the culprit, thanks!
- GUI Compass
- Nullscape
- Lithium
- Debugify
- Continuity
- Recipe Cooldown
- LazyDFU
- Very Many Players
- Bygone Nether
- Double Doors
- Reese's Sodium Options
- Collective
- Dynamic FPS
- Iris
- Smooth Swapping
- Disable Insecure Chat Toast
- Xaero's Minimap
- Capes
- Inventory Totem
- Forge Config API Port
- AdvancementInfo
- FastAnim
- Architectury
- Wakes
- Mineblock's Repeated Utilities
- AttributeFix
- Accurate Block Placement
- Sodium
- Easy Magic
- AppleSkin
- Better Advancements
- Endless Music
- Mindful Loading Info
- Bobby
- Mouse Wheelie
- Beautified Chat Server
- YDM's Weapon Master
- EnhancedVisuals_FABRIC_v1.6.9_mc1.20.1
- Incendium
- e4mc
- Blur (Fabric)
- Axiom
- FabricSkyBoxes Interop
- NetherPortalFix
- Player Animator
- CreativeCore
- Roughly Enough Items
- FabricSkyBoxes
- Camera Overhaul
- Konkrete
- Mod Menu
- Immersive Weathering
- Quick Right-Click
- Random Village Names
- Disable Custom Worlds Advice
- Flow
- YUNG's Extras
- EntityCulling-Fabric
- Tree Harvester
- Indium
- Resourcefulconfig
- Fabric API
- Geophilic
- Tiered
- GeckoLibIrisCompat
- Soul fire'd
- Fabric Language Kotlin
- Krypton
- WorldEdit
- ChoiceTheorem's Overhauled Village
- Controlling For Fabric
- Clumps
- GUI Followers
- Sound Physics Remastered
- Visuality
- NotEnoughAnimations
- Superflat World No Slimes
- Searchables
- Connectible Chains
- Presence Footsteps
- Easy Elytra Takeoff
- Raknetify (Fabric)
- YUNG's Bridges
- YUNG's Menu Tweaks
- Ksyxis
- Additional Lanterns
- Snow Under Trees
- Starlight
- AutoTag Convention
- GUI Clock
- More Mob Variants
- Vectorientation
- Iceberg
- More Zombie Villagers
- Chunky extended
- Fabrishot
- Panorama Screens
- MixinTrace
- Better hidden chat
- ServerCore
- Compact Help Command
- Better Animations Collection
- MidnightLib
- Hoe Tweaks
- Highlighter
- Better Beacon Placement
- Deeper and Darker
- Zoomify
- oωo
- Dynamic Surroundings
- DEUF Refabricated
- Memory Leak Fix
- Softer Hay Bales
- William Wythers Overhauled Overworld [FORGE]
- SuperMartijn642's Core Lib
- Right Click Harvest
- Realistic Bees
- Remove Reloading Screen
- Falling Leaves
- Glassential
- Eating Animation
- First Join Message
- Wunderreich
- Borderless Mining
- Grass Seeds
- Distant Horizons
- CICADA
- Boids
- Simple Voice Chat
- Woof
- Diagonal Fences
- All Loot Drops
- CIT Resewn
- Fish On The Line
- Fast IP Ping
- Fabric Waystones
- Campfire Spawn and Tweaks
- Moog's Nether Structures
- ExtraSounds
- YUNG's Better Strongholds
- Exposure
- FerriteCore
- BadOptimizations
- Mindful Darkness
- Ruthenium
- Xaero's World Map
- Creeper Overhaul
- LibZ
- Lootr
- Advanced Netherite
- Packet Fixer
- YUNG's API
- Better Statistics Screen
- MidnightControls
- Animatica
- Dragonfight Mod
- Seamless Loading Screen
- Amplified Nether
- Noisium
- Replay Mod
- Enhanced Block Entities
- Diagonal Walls
- YUNG's Better End Island
- HorseBuff
- DisableAccessibilityScreen
- Cherished Worlds
- AmbientSounds_FABRIC_v5.3.5_mc1.20.1
- Snow! Real Magic!
- YUNG's Better Jungle Temples
- You Shall Not Spawn!
- YUNG's Better Mineshafts
- Visual Workbench
- Concurrent Chunk Management Engine
- Chunky
- Traveler's Titles
- Main Menu Credits
- Terralith
- Nyf's Spiders
- Recast
- RailOptimization
- Item Borders
- GeckoLib 4
- Surface Mushrooms
- Cristel Lib
- Auditory
- CleanCut
- Tectonic
- DashLoader
- Fixed Anvil Repair Cost
- Better Third Person
- Followers Teleport Too
- Repurposed Structures
- Random Shulker Colours
- Bedspreads
- Automatic Doors
- YUNG's Better Dungeons
- Legendary Tooltips
- Better Spawner Control
- Trinkets
- Immersive Structures
- Language Reload
- Elytra Slot
- Healing Campfire
- TerraBlender
- Fabric Seasons
- Mineral Chance
- Prism
- Moog's End Structures
- End Remastered
- Entity Texture Features
- LambDynamicLights
- QoLFixes
- Replanting Crops
- Trade Cycling
- Wool Tweaks
- Nether Depths Upgrade
- Random Sheep Colours
- YOSBR
- Balm
- MaLiLib
- Nether Chested
- Anvil Restoration
- Easy Anvils
- ${name}
- VanillaTweaks
- ChatAnimation
- Charm
- BetterF3
- Cave Dust
- More Banner Features
- Herds Panic
- More Chat History
- Necronomicon
- Paxi
- YUNG's Better Nether Fortresses
- Better Mount HUD
- Better Climbing
- Puzzles Lib
- Do a Barrel Roll
- Cloth Config v11
- Smaller Nether Portals
- Moonlight
- Scaffolding Drops Nearby
- MidnightControls Extra
- Sodium Extra
- FrozenLib
- Additional Additions
- Universal Bone Meal
- YUNG's Better Desert Temples
- Axes Are Weapons
- ModernFix
- Custom LAN
- Creative Fly
- Diagonal Windows
- Shulker Box Tooltip
- Faster Random
- Comforts
- Video Tape
- Shut Up GL Error
- Bigger Sponge Absorption Radius
- OptiGUI
- Towns and Towers
- Fast Paintings
- YUNG's Better Witch Huts
- Nvidium
- Entity Model Features
- ImmediatelyFast
- Dungeons and Taverns
- InvMove
- Areas
- Make Bubbles Pop Mod
- Deepslate Cutting
- Villager Names
- Advancement Plaques
- Charmonium
- Inmis
- AlinLib
- FeyTweaks
- Better Conduit Placement
- More Culling
- Smooth Scroll
- No Chat Reports
- 3d-Skin-Layers
- Edibles
- AdditionZ
- Tiny Skeletons
- Additional Structures
- InmisAddon
- YUNG's Better Ocean Monuments
- Faster Crouching
- Kiwi Library
- JamLib
- Jade
- cupboard
- Simply Swords
- Better Combat
- Minecraft Comes Alive
- Block Runner
- Puzzles Lib
- Tiny Item Animations
- What's That Slot?
- KleeSlabs
- Balm
- What Are They Up To
- CoroUtil
- Fabric Language Kotlin
- Day Counter (Original)
- Diet
- Day Dream
- Emojiful
- This Rocks!
- Creepers Keep Items
- Spice of Fabric
- Tips
- Bookshelf
- Leave My Bars Alone
- Fabric Seasons: Extras
- Fabric Seasons
- Fabric Seasons: Delight Compat
- Xp from Crops
- Farmer's Delight
- Shoulder Surfing Reloaded
- Amendments
- Moonlight
- Real Camera
- Crawl
- FSit
- Explosive Enhancement
- Falling Trees
- PandaLib
- Nimble
- FancyBlockParticles
- ItemPhysic
- CreativeCore
2024.05.19 21:35 Centaurecyanus [Spoilers C3E95] Is Vax “moved on”?
We all know that Vax was captured in the key and, in theory, as a result of that the revivify and messaging spells did not work - there was nobody there to escort the souls to their bodies. Then we had a scene with the Matron of Ravens breaking the chains in a “dream”. And a new Matron of Ravens champion was selected in Exandria Unlimited shortly after - Morrighan Ferus. Message and Revivify (?) came back. Does that mean, in order for that to be possible, Vax’s soul had to have “moved on” to be replaced? Is he gone? Are there two champions? What do you think?
submitted by Centaurecyanus to criticalrole [link] [comments]
2024.05.19 21:29 littprince [Store] Collectors Cache 2019, Aghanims 2021, Diretide 2022, Summer 2023, Genuine Weather Effects
Reservation Fee: $5 (USD)
Applied to Everyone. Everyone pays the same Reservation fee no matter the size of your order. Reservation fee is subtracted from the total cost of your Order. Reservation fee is non-refundable.
Accepting PayPal Payments. PayPal payments must be in the form of Friends & Family to prevent fees & chargebacks.
U = Unbundled Price
My Steam Profile
SteamRep
Add me & Leave a message in the comment section. Will respond once I see it.
U = Unbundled Price
Genuine Weather Effect can be traded without delay.
PayPal payments must be in the form of Friends & Family to prevent fees & chargebacks.
**Offer applied to sets that costs 10$ each or less, The cheapest set is for free.
***(Discounts Do Not apply to Weather Effects)***
submitted by littprince to Dota2Trade [link] [comments]
Applied to Everyone. Everyone pays the same Reservation fee no matter the size of your order. Reservation fee is subtracted from the total cost of your Order. Reservation fee is non-refundable.
**Buy x3 Sets Pay for x2
FAQ (Frequent Asked Questions) can be found on my steam profile.Accepting PayPal Payments. PayPal payments must be in the form of Friends & Family to prevent fees & chargebacks.
U = Unbundled Price
My Steam Profile
SteamRep
Add me & Leave a message in the comment section. Will respond once I see it.
| Treasure Nr. & Year | Rare & Retro Sets | Hero | U | Euro Price | Stock | Reserved |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Summer 1. 2023 | Snailfire | Snapfire | $25 | 4 | ||
| Summer 1. 2023 | Brightfist | Marci | $25 | 4 | ||
| Diretide 1. 2022 | Dark Behemoth | Primal Beast | 20$ | $40 | 6 | 1 |
| Diretide 1. 2022 | Blue Horizons | Marci | $15 | 7 | 1 | |
| Aghanim's. 2021 | Wrath of the Celestial Sentinel | Chaos Knight | $50 | 1 | 1 | |
| Aghanim's. 2021 | Pyrexae Polymorph Perfected | Ogre Magi | $25 | 1 | ||
| Cache 1. 2019 | Defender of Ruin | Disruptor | $18 | 3 | ||
| Cache 2. 2019 | Fowl Omen | Necrophos | $15 | 1 | ||
| Cache 2. 2018 | Cruelties of the Spiral Bore | Magnus | $80 | 1 | ||
| Cache 2. 2018 | The Rat King | Chen | $15 | 2 |
| Summer Cache 1. 2023 | Hero | Euro Price | Stock | Reserved |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Spectral Shadow | Abaddon | $10 | 8 | |
| Taur Rider | Alchemist | $10 | 8 | |
| Astral Herald | Dawnbreaker | $10 | 7 | |
| Dezun Viper | Dazzle | $10 | 4 | |
| Darkwood Eulogy | Death Prophet | $10 | 7 | |
| Tomo'kan Footsoldier | Hoodwink | $10 | 7 | |
| Ancestral Heritage | Jakiro | $10 | 8 | |
| Sea Spirit | Kunkka | $10 | 7 | |
| Triumph of the Imperatrix | Legion Commander | $10 | 7 | |
| Primeval Abomination | Primal Beast | $10 | 8 | |
| Crescent Huntress | Spectre | $10 | 7 | 2 |
| Beast of Thunder | Storm Spirit | $10 | 7 | |
| Tyrant of The Veil | Wraith King | $10 | 5 |
| Diretide Cache 2. 2022 | Hero | Euro Price | Stock | Reserved |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Darkbrew's Transgression | Alchemist | $10 | 2 | |
| The Wilding Tiger | Brewmaster | 12 € | Unbundled | |
| Withering Pain | Clinkz | $10 | 1 | |
| Sacred Chamber Guardian | Huskar | $10 | 2 | |
| Freebot Fortunes | Ogre Magi | $10 | 2 | |
| Cursed Cryptbreaker | Pudge | $15 | 1 | |
| Grand Suppressor | Silencer | $15 | Unbundled | |
| War Rig Eradicators | Techie | $10 | unbundled | |
| Acrimonies of Obsession | Vengeful Spirit | $15 | 1 |
| Diretide Cache 1. 2022 | Hero | Price | Stock | Reserved |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Hounds of Obsession | Chen | $10 | 10 | 1 |
| Seadog's stash | Clockwerk | $10 | 11 | 1 |
| Starlorn Adjudicator | Dawnbreaker | $15 | 3 | 1 |
| Chines of the Inquisitor | Faceless Void | $10 | 6 | 2 |
| Shadowleaf Insurgent | Hoodwink | $15 | Unbundled | 1 |
| Champion of the Fire Lotus | Monkey King | $10 | 14 | 1 |
| Crimson Dawn | Phoenix | $10 | 12 | 1 |
| Scarlet Subversion | Riki | $10 | 10 | 2 |
| Whippersnapper | Snapfire | $10 | 7 | 1 |
| Spoils of the shadow veil | Spectre | $10 | 9 | 3 |
| Forgotten Station | Terrorblade | $10 | 10 | 1 |
| Dirge Amplifier | Undying | $10 | 10 | 1 |
| Trophies of the Hallowed Hunt | Ursa | $10 | 8 | 1 |
| Deathstitch Shaman | Witch Doctor | $10 | 12 | 1 |
| Aghanim's Cache 2021 | Hero | Euro Price | Stock | Reserved |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Blightfall | Abaddon | $10 | 3 | |
| Secrets of the Frost Singularity | Ancient Apparition | $10 | 2 | |
| Perils of the Red Banks | Chen | $10 | 4 | |
| Perception of the First Light | Dawnbreaker | $25 | 1 | |
| The Chained Scribe | Grimstroke | $10 | 2 | |
| Forgotten Fate | Mars | 15 € | Unbundled | |
| Test of the Basilisk Lord | Razor | 15 € | Unbundled | |
| March of the Crackerjack Mage | Rubick | $10 | 1 |
| Cache 2. 2019 | Hero | Euro Price | Stock | Reserved |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Fury of the Bloodforge | BloodSeeker | $10 | 4 | |
| Automaton Antiquity | BroodMother | $10 | 3 | |
| Directive of the Sunbound | Clockwerk | $10 | 1 | |
| Sight of the Kha-Ren Faithful | Drow Ranger | $15 | 3 | 1 |
| Souls Tyrant | Shadow Fiend | $25 | 2 | |
| Verdant Predator | Venomancer | $10 | 1 | |
| Tribal Pathways⠀ | Warlock | $15 | 1 |
| Cache 1. 2019 | Hero | Euro Price | Stock | Reserved |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Echoes of the Everblack | Abaddon | 0 | ||
| Priest of the Proudsilver Clan | Chen | $15 | 1 | |
| Forbidden Medicine | Dazzle | $15 | 1 | |
| Soul of the Brightshroud | Death Prophet | $15 | 1 | |
| Scorched Amber | Dragon Knight | $15 | 1 | |
| Glimmer of Sacred Hunt | Drow Ranger | $25 | 1 | 1 |
| The Arts of Mortal Deception | Enigma | $15 | 2 | |
| Pursuit of the Ember Demons | Huskar | $20 | 1 | |
| Riddle of the Hierophant | Oracle | $15 | 1 | |
| Poacher's Bane | Tidehunter | $15 | 1 | |
| Curse of the Creeping Vine | Undying | $15 | 1 |
| Genuine Weather | USD Price |
|---|---|
| Ash | |
| Rain | |
| Snow | |
| Moonbeam | |
| Spring | |
| Aurora | |
| Harvest | |
| Pestilence | |
| Sirocco | |
| Full Set | $28 |
**Offer applied to sets that costs 10$ each or less, The cheapest set is for free.
***(Discounts Do Not apply to Weather Effects)***
2024.05.19 21:23 maxdamage4 Home Assistant Companion App suddenly won't connect when on local Wi-Fi network
Hey folks!
I suddenly can't connect to Home Assistant from the HA Companion App through the local network. I'm running out of relevant troubleshooting threads to follow so it's time to ask for help.
It feels like it might be a certificate issue, but I'm not smart enough to tell for sure or know what to do to fix it. I'm might be related to this Cloudflare announcement about Let's Encrypt certificate changes?
Here's what works, and what doesn't:
Connecting to ha.mydomain.com:8123 is not expected to work, but I included it for good measure.
Immediately afterward, I lost normal access to HA from my phone's Companion App. Instead, I get the Unable to connect to Home Assistant message then, eventually, the Settings/Refresh External URL/Wait prompt.
I restored a backup of Home Assistant 2024.5.3 (and others going back to 2024.3.3), but my phone still can't connect.
submitted by maxdamage4 to homeassistant [link] [comments]
I suddenly can't connect to Home Assistant from the HA Companion App through the local network. I'm running out of relevant troubleshooting threads to follow so it's time to ask for help.
It feels like it might be a certificate issue, but I'm not smart enough to tell for sure or know what to do to fix it. I'm might be related to this Cloudflare announcement about Let's Encrypt certificate changes?
Here's what works, and what doesn't:
| HA Companion App | Chrome - https://ha.mydomain.com | Chrome - https://ha.mydomain.com:8123 | |
|---|---|---|---|
| My Phone - Internet | ✔️ | ✔️ | ❌ (HA "Unable to connect" page) (Expected) |
| My Phone - Local | ❌ | ❌ (ERR_CONNECTION_REFUSED) | ✔️ (ERR_CERT_COMMON_NAME_INVALID: Advanced, then Proceed) |
| Second Phone - Internet | ✔️ | ✔️ | ❌ (Time out; no page loads) |
| Second Phone - Local | ✔️ | ✔️ | ❌ (Time out; no page loads) |
Environment info
- Platform: Home Assistant OS on bare metal (an old Dell desktop)
- Home Assistant 2024.5.4 back to 2024.3.3 (tested via backups)
- Problem phone: Android 14 - Google Pixel 7 Pro
- Second phone: Android 14 - Google Pixel 7
Network info
I have remote access using Cloudflare, Let's Encrypt, and my custom domain, set up by following the Secure Home Assistant Remote Access guide. This set up has been stable for over a year with no connection issues for either phone, local or remote.What changed?
I recently updated Home Assistant Core to 2024.5.4.Immediately afterward, I lost normal access to HA from my phone's Companion App. Instead, I get the Unable to connect to Home Assistant message then, eventually, the Settings/Refresh External URL/Wait prompt.
I restored a backup of Home Assistant 2024.5.3 (and others going back to 2024.3.3), but my phone still can't connect.
Attempted fixes
- Rebooted the phone
- Uninstalled and reinstalled the Companion App numerous times, in combination with clearing the app storage/cache data before and after
- Checked that time and date are correct on the problem phone
- Tried adding an Internal URL in the Companion App (https://ha.mydomain.com and https://ha.mydomain.com:8123); this is blank on the second phone, which works as expected
- Checked that the Let's Encrypt Root CAs (ISGR Root X1 and ISGR Root X2) are installed and active on the phone
2024.05.19 21:16 KaptainCracker Westra Royal Marines [A3] [Recruitment][NA][New Player Friendly][Fictional]
TLDR Upfront:
Westra Royal Marines are a completely fictional unit. Not simply set in our world but a completely fictionalized world.We are modeled after the UK Royal Marines with our own twists to it. We are a Lite milsim unit, meaning we do have ranks for Chain of Command and set roles. We also expect people to take ops and training sort of seriously but outside of that we are pretty casual. Our difficulty has been tweaked to be challenging but not to the point where it's frustrating. We also only have the mods we use and nothing super niche that we will use once in a while.
After this you will wait for us to accrue at least 2 more recruits to conduct a training class. This Class will be used to form the basis of your fireteam. You can get used to working together and then upon your completion of our training phases you will be made a full member and placed as a fireteam within our unit. Completion of your Training is required within a certain amount of time of joining and a class being able to be formed. If no class has been formed for a significant period of time the unit may make an exception and allow you to simply test out of the recruit level.
If any of this interests you or you just want more information feel free to shoot me a message or join our discord: https://discord.gg/rz3EACNWdm
A Recent FTX: https://youtu.be/NAO-xmYmQGg
submitted by KaptainCracker to FindAUnit [link] [comments]
- New Player Friendly Completely Fictionalized unit.
- Set in Cold War Era
- Milsim Lite (Trainings and tactics but none of the bs)
- Dynamic campaigns
Westra Royal Marines are a completely fictional unit. Not simply set in our world but a completely fictionalized world.We are modeled after the UK Royal Marines with our own twists to it. We are a Lite milsim unit, meaning we do have ranks for Chain of Command and set roles. We also expect people to take ops and training sort of seriously but outside of that we are pretty casual. Our difficulty has been tweaked to be challenging but not to the point where it's frustrating. We also only have the mods we use and nothing super niche that we will use once in a while.
What does your unit do?
We do quite a few things, mainly our bread and butter is general infantry missions. Finding the enemy, eliminating them, securing key points. These are the things we focus on the most. But we do offer other missions depending on the campaign, anything from sabotaging enemy critical assets, Recce, or preparing areas for assaulting forces. This gives us a wide range of operations to do, not focusing too heavily on one and allowing a variety so it's never too boring.Do you only play in the 1960s?
No, our intent is to progress through time so eventually getting to the 70s 80s and adding more gear and possibly more mission sets for us to do.Well what roles do you offer?
We offer a lot of the basic roles most do. While we try to make interesting roles a the end of the day without making super niche roles but below are the current roles we have (these are subject to change)- Rifleman
- Machine Gunner
- Grenadier
- Sharpshooter
- Sapper
- Combat Engineer
- Anti-Tank Specialist
- Medic
What is your training like?
We have 2 trainings for new members. The first is an Orientation to get you on the server with our mods, key binds, a kit etc. This is so when you get on for Operations you are not being a burden to the unit trying to prepare for an op while also trying to get all of this set up for you. After you do this you will be allowed to attend any operation we have.After this you will wait for us to accrue at least 2 more recruits to conduct a training class. This Class will be used to form the basis of your fireteam. You can get used to working together and then upon your completion of our training phases you will be made a full member and placed as a fireteam within our unit. Completion of your Training is required within a certain amount of time of joining and a class being able to be formed. If no class has been formed for a significant period of time the unit may make an exception and allow you to simply test out of the recruit level.
What's your schedule?
While training will be based upon the recruits ability to attend, the ideal time would be Sundays. Beyond this our ops happen at 8pm CST on Saturdays with fun ops, liberation nights, and other games happening whenever organized.If any of this interests you or you just want more information feel free to shoot me a message or join our discord: https://discord.gg/rz3EACNWdm
A Recent FTX: https://youtu.be/NAO-xmYmQGg
2024.05.19 21:01 Realistic-Divide-868 29M:23F 7 Years - Could you trust after this?
What Happened:
F23 (my partner) moved with me to start my new job in a new state about 3 years ago. We have a hard time making friends, but started making friends here not long ago. She ended up meeting a group of friends, and one of them was named, let's say, Tyler. She told me about him and how he (and the group) seemed nice and we should hangout together. I trusted her completely so I didn't think anything of it at the time. I noticed she started texting more often, but assumed it was her group of friends. She seemed happier and was open about it when she was texting him at first so I didn't think anything of it. Once she started hanging out with his friend group a few times without me, I asked her that I should come next time. She said yes absolutely and apologized it didn't happen sooner! A couple of weeks passed and nothing ever came of it. Then I noticed she was still texting him from time to time (I saw over her shoulder). I asked her to cut him off, because it seemed weird that he was so friendly towards her and was still asking her to hangout all the time. She apologized and said she understood completely and was sorry for making me feel uncomfortable. She told me it wasn't a problem she cut him off and his group of friends. Everything seemed fine after that. Then I noticed she would go out a little more than usual to the park, local bookstore, etc. This wasn't super unusual but it did happen more often. I felt weird because I couldn't bring myself to believe she was doing anything, so I let it go for a few days.
This past Monday I was leaving on a trip (I travel monthly for work). The night before we had been drinking a bit and she had gone out to the park with Lacey (our dog). I got suspicious and anxious because I would be leaving for a few days. I don't feel good about it but Monday morning I woke up early and went through her phone and saw messages between her and Tyler. He was silenced and she had clearly been deleting his messages. Towards the end of the chain they said I love you to each other and had texts about planning to have him come over to our house and make food Monday night and hangout because I would be gone (verbiage here indicated he's come over once before). I also saw messages from other guys in her deleted folder. The chains were a lot shorter and didn't indicate anything, but they were also silenced.
I took pictures of the messages and left on my trip that Monday morning and didn't tell her anything. Monday night she didn't really text me. I pretended like nothing was wrong that week. She asked a few times when I was coming back, like she needed to know for something she was planning for us on the weekend. I was vague and didn't really give her an answer. Thursday night she told me she was going to her friend Emmy's house (I've met her) to watch a show they liked together. I got back at 3AM that night (Friday morning at this point), and she wasn't home. I stayed up for a bit, and she got back around 4AM. She was upset I had played her and didn't tell her when I was coming back. She kept saying "I knew it!". She obviously felt betrayed but also angry that she had been caught out suspiciously late. I then sent her photos of the text messages with Tyler. I laid in bed in silence for a while while she experienced the realization that I knew what she had been doing. She eventually went downstairs and I went to sleep.
Background:
We've had big arguments in the past around how much attention and love I provide her and gone to therapy a couple of times to work on ourselves. It's a known thing she's felt lonely for a couple of years, feeling that I put more attention into my work than our relationship. It is probably also worth noting she has ADHD and Atisum (which I am completely okay with), but it can make communication very hard sometimes. It puts us in situations where we argue because certain behavior she feels is completely fine causes me a bit of stress/anxiety or become mentally drained. A small example of this is we'll be watching a show, and she comments pretty consistently (~every other minute or something). It could be about the show or not. ~75% of the time I don't really respond because it happens too often and I get worn out. It sounds terrible I know, but I think it's just a small example of our differences.
All that being said I do believe I have an issue with consistently providing that to her on a daily basis and something I had been trying to work on. I'm more distant and independent I think. I tend to need my space after work. On the weekends, I like to have my own time, when she would like us to go out and do something fun together. Which we obviously do sometimes, but I suppose not often enough.
After a lot of thought, I think she is right. I have a problem with getting close to people. And when I am close, I put aside the "work" to show them I care. She deserves better from me in that area. So anyway, that's all to say we have our own set of problems apart from this.
What she says about it: She claims that because she felt lonely and unwanted she replied to him and accepted his advances. She tells me she feels terrible and guilty and never met anything she said. It's weird, but in a way I do believe her. She claims the most that happened was that they cuddled and hungout, but I'm not sure I believe that part. She tells me she didn't hang out with him in his house when she would go out (aka those trips I mentioned earlier), but just park outside and talk to him. This was because she had a falling out with Tyler's roommate and wasn't allowed inside.
Closing Thoughts:
I truly love my partner, and I want the best for her. I don't "blame" her or am angry, just sad. Sad that we brought each other to this situation. I don't know if I could bring myself to make this work, or if I could love her as a life-long partner anymore. We are not married.
Question:
Could you bring yourself to trust after this? I travel a lot for work so I would be gone often. I just don't know if it is best we go our separate ways now, and save ourselves the time and pain.
[EDIT] To address the age gap:
I guess I didn't even think of this while writing this. When we met she had told me she was 18. I know how that sounds but do with that what you will. I didn't drink or smoke at the time so we never really got into situations that would confirm that. I don't believe my behavior was predatory, or at least didn't have those intentions. I truly fell for her.
That being said, I agree with the general idea that getting together that young did not help the situation.
submitted by Realistic-Divide-868 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
F23 (my partner) moved with me to start my new job in a new state about 3 years ago. We have a hard time making friends, but started making friends here not long ago. She ended up meeting a group of friends, and one of them was named, let's say, Tyler. She told me about him and how he (and the group) seemed nice and we should hangout together. I trusted her completely so I didn't think anything of it at the time. I noticed she started texting more often, but assumed it was her group of friends. She seemed happier and was open about it when she was texting him at first so I didn't think anything of it. Once she started hanging out with his friend group a few times without me, I asked her that I should come next time. She said yes absolutely and apologized it didn't happen sooner! A couple of weeks passed and nothing ever came of it. Then I noticed she was still texting him from time to time (I saw over her shoulder). I asked her to cut him off, because it seemed weird that he was so friendly towards her and was still asking her to hangout all the time. She apologized and said she understood completely and was sorry for making me feel uncomfortable. She told me it wasn't a problem she cut him off and his group of friends. Everything seemed fine after that. Then I noticed she would go out a little more than usual to the park, local bookstore, etc. This wasn't super unusual but it did happen more often. I felt weird because I couldn't bring myself to believe she was doing anything, so I let it go for a few days.
This past Monday I was leaving on a trip (I travel monthly for work). The night before we had been drinking a bit and she had gone out to the park with Lacey (our dog). I got suspicious and anxious because I would be leaving for a few days. I don't feel good about it but Monday morning I woke up early and went through her phone and saw messages between her and Tyler. He was silenced and she had clearly been deleting his messages. Towards the end of the chain they said I love you to each other and had texts about planning to have him come over to our house and make food Monday night and hangout because I would be gone (verbiage here indicated he's come over once before). I also saw messages from other guys in her deleted folder. The chains were a lot shorter and didn't indicate anything, but they were also silenced.
I took pictures of the messages and left on my trip that Monday morning and didn't tell her anything. Monday night she didn't really text me. I pretended like nothing was wrong that week. She asked a few times when I was coming back, like she needed to know for something she was planning for us on the weekend. I was vague and didn't really give her an answer. Thursday night she told me she was going to her friend Emmy's house (I've met her) to watch a show they liked together. I got back at 3AM that night (Friday morning at this point), and she wasn't home. I stayed up for a bit, and she got back around 4AM. She was upset I had played her and didn't tell her when I was coming back. She kept saying "I knew it!". She obviously felt betrayed but also angry that she had been caught out suspiciously late. I then sent her photos of the text messages with Tyler. I laid in bed in silence for a while while she experienced the realization that I knew what she had been doing. She eventually went downstairs and I went to sleep.
Background:
We've had big arguments in the past around how much attention and love I provide her and gone to therapy a couple of times to work on ourselves. It's a known thing she's felt lonely for a couple of years, feeling that I put more attention into my work than our relationship. It is probably also worth noting she has ADHD and Atisum (which I am completely okay with), but it can make communication very hard sometimes. It puts us in situations where we argue because certain behavior she feels is completely fine causes me a bit of stress/anxiety or become mentally drained. A small example of this is we'll be watching a show, and she comments pretty consistently (~every other minute or something). It could be about the show or not. ~75% of the time I don't really respond because it happens too often and I get worn out. It sounds terrible I know, but I think it's just a small example of our differences.
All that being said I do believe I have an issue with consistently providing that to her on a daily basis and something I had been trying to work on. I'm more distant and independent I think. I tend to need my space after work. On the weekends, I like to have my own time, when she would like us to go out and do something fun together. Which we obviously do sometimes, but I suppose not often enough.
After a lot of thought, I think she is right. I have a problem with getting close to people. And when I am close, I put aside the "work" to show them I care. She deserves better from me in that area. So anyway, that's all to say we have our own set of problems apart from this.
What she says about it: She claims that because she felt lonely and unwanted she replied to him and accepted his advances. She tells me she feels terrible and guilty and never met anything she said. It's weird, but in a way I do believe her. She claims the most that happened was that they cuddled and hungout, but I'm not sure I believe that part. She tells me she didn't hang out with him in his house when she would go out (aka those trips I mentioned earlier), but just park outside and talk to him. This was because she had a falling out with Tyler's roommate and wasn't allowed inside.
Closing Thoughts:
I truly love my partner, and I want the best for her. I don't "blame" her or am angry, just sad. Sad that we brought each other to this situation. I don't know if I could bring myself to make this work, or if I could love her as a life-long partner anymore. We are not married.
Question:
Could you bring yourself to trust after this? I travel a lot for work so I would be gone often. I just don't know if it is best we go our separate ways now, and save ourselves the time and pain.
[EDIT] To address the age gap:
I guess I didn't even think of this while writing this. When we met she had told me she was 18. I know how that sounds but do with that what you will. I didn't drink or smoke at the time so we never really got into situations that would confirm that. I don't believe my behavior was predatory, or at least didn't have those intentions. I truly fell for her.
That being said, I agree with the general idea that getting together that young did not help the situation.
2024.05.19 20:50 Informal_Nature5 Seeking repost chain partners on PumpYourSound – Offering 70K followers
Hey there, fellow producers, artists, and labels!
Like many of you, I was a big fan of using SCplanner for repost chains on SoundCloud. It was an awesome tool, but unfortunately, SoundCloud has decided to pull the plug on it. So, we have about two months left before it’s gone for good.
In light of this, I'm moving my repost chain operations over to PumpYourSound. I'm curious if there are any other producers out here who are also looking to trade reposts and keep the love going.
Here’s what I’m bringing to the table:
Two SoundCloud accounts with a combined following of 70K. Account 1: 26K followers (CLRFL) Account 2: 44K followers (Qaliber)
If you're interested in trading reposts and growing our audiences together, drop your SoundCloud link below. I'll reach out to you with a message, and we can set things up.
Looking forward to collaborating with you all and keeping our music thriving!
Cheers,
submitted by Informal_Nature5 to soundcloud [link] [comments]
Like many of you, I was a big fan of using SCplanner for repost chains on SoundCloud. It was an awesome tool, but unfortunately, SoundCloud has decided to pull the plug on it. So, we have about two months left before it’s gone for good.
In light of this, I'm moving my repost chain operations over to PumpYourSound. I'm curious if there are any other producers out here who are also looking to trade reposts and keep the love going.
Here’s what I’m bringing to the table:
Two SoundCloud accounts with a combined following of 70K. Account 1: 26K followers (CLRFL) Account 2: 44K followers (Qaliber)
If you're interested in trading reposts and growing our audiences together, drop your SoundCloud link below. I'll reach out to you with a message, and we can set things up.
Looking forward to collaborating with you all and keeping our music thriving!
Cheers,
2024.05.19 20:37 Shiirooo Exclusive interview with Famitsu and the devs
 | https://www.famitsu.com/article/202405/5194 (translated by DeepL: there are probably translation errors) submitted by Shiirooo to assassinscreed [link] [comments] Shadows is the next step forward for Assassin's CreedMr. KARL ONNÉE, Producer--First of all, let me say "Thank you" from us Japanese, as "Assassin's Creed" is finally coming out, which is set in Japan! KARL: Thank you for coming here today. I have been wanting to do this work for years, so my dream has come true. --Why did you choose the Azuchi-Momoyama period as the setting for this work? KARL: I chose it because it is a very rich period in history. It was a time of war and political maneuvering, a time of change from rural to urban areas, and also the birth of art. I also chose it because it was the start of the unification of Japan. It was a pivotal moment for Japan. Together, these elements provided an excellent canvas on which to tell the story. --What kind of image do you have of the Azuchi-Momoyama period? KARL: This was a time when the feudal lords of the warring states were fighting for power in the name of unifying the country, but it was also a struggle for control of trade. Portuguese missionaries and merchants came to Japan together. The Portuguese missionaries and merchants came to Japan together, and people who wanted a beautiful country and peace. This is the kind of image we have, but I think there was a mixture of various cultures and people's thoughts. And of course, there were the warring feudal lords. These are great canvases for the story. --What do you think should be inherited from "Assassin's Creed" and what are the unique aspects of this game? KARL: When people think of "Assassin's Creed," they think of stealth, but shinobi fantasy is not only a perfect fit for an "Assassin's Creed" game, it also fits the DNA of the "Assassin" brand. What we wanted to do with "Assassin's Creed Shadows" was to push stealth even further. We started this effort with the previous game, "Assassin's Creed Mirage," but we wanted to take it further with new features. Systems such as light and shadow, grappling ropes, prone, and a variety of tools available in the game provide a new experience. The gameplay is also enriched by two characters, Naoe, a shinobi, and Yasuke, a samurai. Players will explore and discover Japan through the eyes of Naoe, a local, and one non-Japanese outsider. The game is more dynamic than ever before, pushing the limits of technology and offering an experience exclusive to current-gen consoles. --The "Assassin's Creed: Valhalla," released in 2020, is based on the theme of "Vikings" and has been a huge sales success. As a Japanese, I feel that from a global perspective, the Japanese "shinobi" theme is even more niche, but what is your current response? KARL: I would like to talk about how it compares to "Viking" fantasy. Both shinobi and samurai are exciting and celebrated as fantasy with power, and are widely discussed in pop culture, and we are very much inspired by them. Shinobi were on our radar from the beginning because we thought they fit well with the "Assassins" brand, but we felt that incorporating a powerful samurai would create two different gameplay experiences and give us the opportunity to tell the story from two different perspectives. We feel that this is a powerful motif that can compete with the "Viking" motif. --How did you like the setting of Japan as a subject matter for the latest model? KARL: I think it was perfect. For example, the "Global Illumination" technology allowed us to explore the response of light and shadow. Some consoles are still called "Baked GI", but by using dynamic lighting and the power of the new hardware, we were able to explore the creativity. We are now able to express not only light and shadow, but also the dynamism of nature in greater detail. Naturally, since it is set in Japan, we have never dealt with so many trees, and thus so much data, in previous works in the series. We also needed more data to seamlessly move various things at the same time because of the seasonal changes. The latest models have allowed us to realize our vision, and our ambition for this film and for "Assassin's Creed" will continue. --Assassin's Creed Mirage marks the 15th anniversary of the game. Can we consider this work as the next step forward for the next generation of "Assassin's Creed"? KARL: You are absolutely right. Mirage" was a tribute to existing works, but this film is the first step into a new era. We are in the era of modern equipment. With the new generation of our engine "Anvil", plus the opportunity to create a new era by using the power of the latest consoles, we are able to do what we wanted to do with "Assassin's Creed Shadows". With technologies such as global illumination and dynamism, we are now making the game we really wanted to make. --What are the four pillars you are focusing on in the development of this game? KARL: We are focusing on four pillars.
KARL: Development is going very well. We are proud to say that we have done a good job, but of course it is not finished and there are still glitches. This is the result of all the work we have done so far. We are very happy with how things are going right now, and we hope you will stay tuned for more news. -- I understand that "Assassin's Creed Infinity" was announced at the previous Ubisoft Forward and that this title will be included in the game? Also, what is the development status of that game at ......? KARL: "Assassin's Creed Infinity" is introduced as an Animus Hub (*a hub that will function in the future as an entry point for the series), which we will talk about at a later date. --What is your message to your fans around the world and in Japan? KARL: We are humbled that our dream of creating a game in this setting has come true. This is a setting that our fans have been anticipating for a long time, and for us it has been a wonderful experience to work on a game that we have always wanted to make. This game is the result of our love. We hope you enjoy it. We look forward to talking more about it in the coming months. The Shinobi Assassin and the Legendary Samurai. Experience the different fighting styles created by these two characters.(left) Mr. JONATHAN DUMONT (Creative Director), (right) Mr. CHARLES BENOIT (Game Director)--When did you start the development of this work? JONATHAN: Development began about four years ago, and research into the time period in which the film is set began immediately. There were a number of cool subjects that brought us great characters and story plots. I had a gut feeling that this was going to be a very good game. --Was the Azuchi-Momoyama period chosen as the period setting from the pre-development stage? Did you have an idea for a major point in Japanese history, such as the end of the Tokugawa Shogunate? JONATHAN: I started from the beginning of my study of Japanese history, but I began reading with the feeling of a student. Following the Socratic principle, you took the attitude of knowing nothing. As I read on, I found some very interesting settings. I focused on the Azuchi-Momoyama period because I felt it was an extremely important period for Japan. It was a time of warring states, the need to unify the country, and the need to defend itself against the growing influence of other countries. It was a grand and complex period, and there are many stories that can be told from different angles. Among the heroes of the unification of Japan, Tokugawa Ieyasu, Toyotomi Hideyoshi, and Oda Nobunaga are best known among the outstanding characters in Japanese history. Not only war, but also politics are involved, and they are moving toward the peace that will eventually come, with a good ending waiting somewhere in the middle. I strongly felt that this was a wonderful and interesting period that deserved to be featured. It was also a time when the foundations of the arts were laid. Castle towns were built, the world changed, and people's relationships with each other and with art, as well as their inner lives, also changed. It was very interesting to explore this period, and I was strongly attracted to the characters who lived in this time. -- Why did you choose the title "Shadows"? CHARLES: From my point of view, there are two reasons. Shinobi hide in the shadows, so "Shadows" is of course inspired by that. In a way, this embraces the "Assassin" brand and shinobi. There are other aspects to "Shadows" as well. There are "hidden things" in the game that must be discovered by the player, but they are hidden in the darkness in some way. JONATHAN: Both characters are in a way connected to being shadowy heroes living in the underworld of this era. It's a cool title, if you can think of it this way. --Why did you choose two main characters and two fighting styles? Also, what kind of combat action can the Shinobi and Samurai experience respectively? JONATHAN: One of the reasons for the separation of the two styles is that from the beginning of development, we wanted to have two distinct and cool archetypes to play with: the samurai and the shinobi. We also wanted to make sure that this fantasy was as close to reality and expectation as possible without being diluted. I also often felt the need to have two points of view in the development of the story, since history is rarely clearly black and white. The two protagonists provided interesting dynamics and perspectives on how to approach the game. CHARLES: I think it is very interesting that in combat, both the samurai and the shinobi have special types of weapons. Therefore, the style of combat in this work is built on a more weapon-based approach. There are weapons that only Samurai can use, and the same goes for Shinobi. The player can get a good feel for the two different fighting styles. And it is possible to switch between them. --What weapons can Naoe and Yasuke use? CHARLES: Both players have different types of weapons. For Naoe, we went for a more classic fantasy type shinobi. The chain scythe is a weapon that covers a wide area and can only be used by Naoe. In addition, she also has a dagger used at close range, which can be combined with a hidden blade (Hidden Blade). Naoe can fight very quickly and efficiently with these. On the other hand, Yasuke, who excels at overpowering with force, is given more types of weapons, some of which are firearms type weapons. They also have the typical samurai bow. --Why did you choose to make the shinobi Naoe an original character and the samurai Yasuke a historical figure? JONATHAN: Even though they are well known in Japan, at least in North America, not much is known about farmers, what happened to them, and where the Shinobi came from. So we decided to introduce a figure from Iga who is shrouded in mystery. We considered historical figures from the region, but we preferred a sense of mystery, so we came up with Naoe as someone who may or may not have actually existed. As for Yasuke, from the beginning we thought that a story about the arrival of the Portuguese would be a very good way to tell the story of the crisis in Japan. The team liked the character Yasuke, and we thought we could use him to show the promise of discovering Japan. We thought that if we started with a samurai already in Japanese society, he would be a very interesting and intriguing character, with concepts that we don't necessarily know. And it would also be interesting to see what happened to him. He starts out as a character who is already rooted in history, and we are curious to find out what happens to him. I thought they would make a cool team, complementing each other in terms of storytelling, physique, and family background. --What did you keep in mind when creating the scenario where the two main characters switch? What were some of the challenges? JONATHAN: I wanted the audience to feel that "both are the main characters," but this was more complicated than it seems. Their stories overlap in places, but I wanted to make sure that as the game progresses, you gradually discover more and more about both characters. They have similar goals and motivations, but they are not 100% the same, which made it complicated and difficult to maintain their individual personalities. Naturally, the quest can be played by either character. If a quest needs to be started by one character and completed by the other, the settings must accommodate both play styles. Thus, although it can be complicated, there are many opportunities to tell the story from one of the two perspectives. Having two different points of view is a lot of fun, but there were some complications, such as having to use new technology in the conversation tools. There were some cool things, however. It is interesting that in the conversational scenes, the player decides which of the two protagonists speaks and they ask for different things. This is cool in a way. CHARLES: Both characters are attacking the castle and at some point the player is asked if they want to continue with Yasuke or Naoe, both are interesting. At various points the player must make these choices. The stories are independent, so if you want to know more about Naoe's or Yasuke's past, you can play as one character and delve into that character's story. --Are there areas of action that differ, such as places that only Naoe, a shinobi, is allowed to enter? JONATHAN: There are areas where both Naoe and Yasuke have different areas of activity. I can't go into details because there are a few surprises, but since Naoe can use a hooked rope, there are places that are almost exclusively accessible to her. The world is designed to be enjoyed by both characters, and players can switch between the two at will. Of course, if you want to reach the final point of the world or reach the summit through the ruins, then perhaps Naoe is the better choice. However, if you want to break through the fort head-on alone and open the way, Yasuke seems like a better choice. Of course, you can play with either character. CHARLES: Each character also has specific actions. Naoe can hook the hooked rope to a specific spot and move like a pendulum, or hook the hook to a high spot and climb the rope to get to where she wants to go faster than Yasuke. However, Yasuke can use a shoulder bash to break down reinforced doors. Yasuke can also perform parkour very efficiently in a more daring way. What can be felt when Yasuke performs parkour is how the crowd reacts. Because Yasuke is a samurai and exudes dignity as a superior class, the crowd reacts accordingly. Naoe, on the other hand, gives the impression of being more integrated into the world. --Can you both use the Hidden Blade, Hawk's Eye, and other Assassin abilities? CHARLES: Without spoiling anything, the traditional skills of the Assassins are mainly for Naoe. However, there is another mechanism called "Kantori" (provisional name) that can be used when you want to find an enemy or target person, and this can be used by both of them. You can use free aim to look around, but you cannot see through walls. Yasuke can also kill with stealth, but in a more direct and easier way. Even with stealth, there will be some sound, so it is a "stealth-like" approach. JONATHAN: Kantori (provisional name) can be used to find many things in your current location. It is a very good guide for a certain area, but it does not take all the fun out of exploration. It is a good guide because you can learn a little more about where you want to go, but you are left with the surprise of discovering something. -- Is there a skill tree that makes Naoe more combat-oriented or enhances Yasuke's stealth? CHARLES: Both have skills that are more combat-oriented and stealth-oriented. Also, some equipment has effects such as increased resistance when attacked. We also offer perks that enhance your abilities in combat. Naoe, enhanced to be more combat-oriented, has an advantage in melee combat compared to Naoe, enhanced to be more stealth-oriented. Both have a range, but cannot go in completely opposite directions. There is some overlap between the two, but we have made sure that the characteristics of each ability are properly felt. --Please explain the skill system. JONATHAN: Both characters share XP and level up together, but the rest of the system is a bit similar to that of "Assassin's Creed Odyssey". XP and character abilities are available, weapons can be crafted to some degree, and various upgrades can be made as the game progresses. Weapons are not stand-alone, but for two, so each weapon has its own unique skill system. Players should not feel any discomfort, but this is a very different part of the game from the past. CHARLES: There are two things that were very important to us in terms of skills. First, we have to be very aware of archetypes. In Japan, there are distinct archetypes, such as the armor-clad samurai, the revolting monk, and the bandit, which are quite different. We try to make it clear to the player who is stronger, and we try to make that part of the leveling process as important as possible. Samurai are always stronger than bandits. Secondly, player skill is added to the mix. The better you are at timing, reading attacks, understanding weapons, etc., the better you will be and the further ahead you will be. --What is the volume of the map compared to past works? I would also like to know how you decided on the scale of this work. JONATHAN: The biggest difference is the scale ratio. The mountains are not the actual size, but we wanted them to be true forests, consisting of trees of a certain size, so that you feel you are in a forest. To achieve this, we needed space. We also decided to keep it close to a realistic scale, so we could feel the breath of many things. When we visited Japan and saw the castle, we were so glad we made this decision. Japanese castles are huge! Of course, we had seen pictures of castles before and thought they were big and magnificent, but when we saw them in person, they were astonishingly large. And I wanted more space to explore the castle. Castles were built to be large battlegrounds, you know. You need space to build intricate walls for defense. The overall scale of the map is similar to the size of the map in Origins. However, the scale ratio makes it feel more realistic. The open space leads to secluded areas throughout the game, which will be fun to explore. This sense of scale is a very interesting aspect of this film for us. CHARLES: The story led us to choose which locations in Japan we would choose. The major events in Kyoto, around Osaka, and around Azuchi Castle took place in the same area, so we were able to focus on that. JONATHAN: Of course, we had to choose a size that matched the game, but I think it was the perfect size for this story and type of game. --Since the game is set in the Warring States period, is there a system that allows players to participate in battles? JONATHAN: We see several battles in the story, and the battle at Iga is playable. There are other battles as well, but I can't talk about them right now. The game is set in the Warring States period, but it is not only about battles. It is a game that allows you to travel and discover that world. --What challenges have you faced and what have you been able to achieve as a result? JONATHAN: By making the big decision to go completely modern and demanding a very high level from the "Anvil" engine, we were able to increase the number of particles, create a more realistic atmosphere, and expand the graphical possibilities of the changing seasons. This allowed us to work on a fresh new Assassin's Creed. This was a great opportunity for us to take a big leap forward in graphics. CHARLES: Also, thanks to the new global illumination system, we were able to take advantage of light and shadow, which had a huge impact on the gameplay and stealth approach. For example, enemies became aware of our presence through our shadows, enemies gathered for warmth under a fire in the winter, or shadows through shoji screens depicted enemy presence, giving a new dimension to stealth. By having two main characters, it is possible to show a wider range of angles and different perspectives.(left) BROOKE DAVIES, Associate Narrative Director, (right) SACHI SCHMIDT-HORI, Narrative Consultant--Did you choose the Azuchi-Momoyama period as the period setting from the pre-production stage? BROOKE: I joined the project after the choice of period had been made, so the Azuchi-Momoyama period had already been chosen. This period offered so many wonderful opportunities from a narrative perspective. The complexity and duality of the period is well reflected in the characters of Naoe and Yasuke. --What were you aware of and what were the challenges in creating a scenario where the two main characters switch? BROOKE: From a storytelling perspective, I see it more as a wonderful opportunity than a challenge. When I write a story, I try to show rather than tell, and having two characters allows me to show what's going on from a wider range of angles and different perspectives. I hope this will encourage players to want to share their feelings with them. --What do you think are the most important points in bringing original characters and historical figures into the game? BROOKE: Both offer different and unique opportunities. With regard to Yasuke, I found him very interesting historically because we know some things about him, but there are many unknowns. So we needed to fill in the blanks in the story. It is important to note that Yasuke is a historical figure. And in the case of Naoe, an original character, we were able to draw the story freely to some extent. The fact that she is a member of the Fujibayashi family and that her father is Masayasu Fujibayashi Nagato Mamoru allowed us to place her firmly within the setting. Because Yasuke is a real person but appears as a foreign-born samurai, the Japanese-born Naoe is on equal footing with Yasuke, although she has a different perspective. --Will other historical figures appear besides Nobunaga Oda and Yasuke? BROOKE: You will meet Luis Frois (a Jesuit missionary) at the meeting in Azuchi Castle. Also, Nene and Oichi will appear. The Japanese art renaissance that began in the Azuchi-Momoyama period blossomed in the Edo period, and you will also meet Sen no Rikyu, Kano Eitoku, and other important figures. --Please tell us what year the story will be depicted. BROOKE: I can't tell you what players will see, but I think it covers a part of the Azuchi-Momoyama period, from 1579 to 1584. --I think the appeal of the series is to depict the struggle between the Assassin Order and the Templars while taking into account the history, but I would like to ask if there were any difficulties in putting the Azuchi-Momoyama period into it. BROOKE: I don't want to mention the Knights Templar because I don't want to spoil anything, but the fascination and dynamics of this period are very interesting and provided wonderful opportunities for storytelling. --How did you go about creating a world with a realistic feel of the Azuchi-Momoyama period? BROOKE: We were very lucky to work with the Environment Team. The visuals they created for the game provided a great backdrop for the story. The in-world experience added so much to the story. What we see from the stories and characters of this time period is complexity. I also believe that many of the people surrounding the World had their own struggles. It was a very difficult time historically, and we see duality. Nothing is ever clear-cut and black and white. In warfare, two groups face each other and are confronted with different perspectives. But in the midst of it all, there are glimpses of hope for the future as we know it, which will later blossom. --What advice did you actually give? HORI: One scene that left a strong impression on me was the scene where Nobunaga's sister, Oichi, remarries Katsuie Shibata. In the original story we received, it was thought that the two families decided on their own without regard to Oichi's intentions, and Katsuie was portrayed negatively because he was more than 20 years older than Oichi. So I spoke with BROOKE and the team and asked them to change it. Oichi had young children after the death of her husband Nagamasa Asai, so if her remarriage was to Katsuie, a trusted man who had served Nobunaga, she would have married him as a matter of course. When I explained that it was better to portray it in a positive light, it was a new discovery for the BROOKEs, and they were very moved by it. The rewritten version of the episode was very moving. The other scene is the tea ceremony scene featuring Sen no Rikyu. Chanoyu is widely known to be translated as tea ceremony, but experts say it is a mistranslation. After researching the misunderstanding over here, I advised them, as far as I could understand, not to use a teapot or tea leaves, for example. --Even we Japanese have a strong image of "ninja" as a fantasy. Did you encounter any difficulties with the theme of "ninja" in order to achieve a high level of fidelity to the historical reconstruction? HORI: Ninja are certainly a fantasy, so I think it's a good thing that we can express ourselves creatively and without reservation. However, there are also dedicated ninja fans and communities around the world, and I am not sure to what extent they see the ninja as a real existence, or as an entity that existed in history. Therefore, the extent to which ninja are represented in the game depends on the level of tolerance of the avid shinobi fans. I discussed this with the members of the development team. We did not have a specific policy on how much to express, but made decisions on a case-by-case basis. We would say, "This is an acceptable creative expression," or "This is stereotypical", so let's not do that. --I'm sure there are many references, but which one left a particularly strong impression on you? BROOKE: The first book I looked through was "Nobunaga no Kouki" by Ota Ushiichi (Azuchi-Momoyama period, military commander and military history author). I was impressed by his personal observations as he recounts the details. We can learn a lot of historical facts from reading history books, but this author incorporated his own views so that I felt I could understand even his character and what it was like to live in that era, and I was completely drawn in. I was thrilled to be able to portray this time period and the people in this book. --The drama "Shogun" which is set in a similar time period, has been a hit, and I hope that this work will attract the same kind of attention from game fans. I understand that you have prepared a "Discovery Tour" that allows visitors to freely walk around the game world with historical explanations. BROOKE: I can't answer about the Discovery Tour today, but I am glad to see that interest in the setting and time period of the game is growing. I look forward to the day when we can bring this to you. Gathering a lot of information to recreate 16th century Japan and build a living world(left) THIERRY DANSEREAU, Art Director, (right) STÉPHANIE-ANNE RUATTA, Historical Supervisor and World Director--Please tell us what kind of materials you used as references to describe the field and the characters' costumes in the Azuchi-Momoyama period. THIERRY: I have been working with experts and consultants for a long time, but for the characters, I referred to museum exhibits and books for their appearances and costumes. I visited several museums, did my research, and checked the materials with STÉPHANIE-ANNE. Based on these, we created the characters. We also referred to descriptions in the books about the colors and the flags people carried. We used multiple sources, but we have checked them for historical accuracy. STÉPHANIE-ANNE: For several years we had the help of experts, but we also did research with a Japanese studio and team. We used different kinds of sources to make sure the team got it right and had all the information they needed to reconstruct what Japan looked like in the 16th century. We used museum databases, as THIERRY mentioned, but we also used inscriptions, scientific books, articles, and medieval depositions. For example, the Principles of Nobunaga has been translated into English, so we used that as a reference to describe 16th century Japan. I also referred to the documents of Luis Frois from the same period, which compare European and Japanese society. --This period was also a time when there was a large influx of immigrants. Will you also depict the episodes, lifestyles, and culture of these people (missionaries, merchants, etc.) as well as Yasuke? STÉPHANIE-ANNE: Yes, it is important to introduce the presence of Portuguese missionaries and merchants in the 16th century. They influenced the course of warfare during this period and the changing power of certain merchants in Japan. --I am wondering what castles, shrines and temples that symbolize the Azuchi-Momoyama period will appear in the game. Although the game is set in the Kansai region, is the Osaka Castle built by Toyotomi Hideyoshi ......? STÉPHANIE-ANNE: The era is represented by the construction of various castles and castle towns, so players will discover a wide variety of castle types and castles destroyed in battle. The Azuchi Castle, which is related to the name of the era, will also be featured. THIERRY: Himeji Castle, Osaka Castle, and Takeda Castle are also available, and it is wonderful that players can visit and play in these castles. I think this is one of the strengths of the franchise, but all of the castles are based on actual historical blueprints, which I think is very unique, both as an experience and a learning opportunity. The Koyasan Okunoin Cemetery is the oldest graveyard in Japan, which can also be seen in the game. There are too many to mention them all, but thanks to STÉPHANIE-ANNE and the experts, I think they are well described and it is wonderful that players will be able to travel to these places. --The architectural style and decoration of the buildings is a different culture from the previous works in the series. What were you conscious of in recreating the culture and what were the challenges? I am also interested in the possibility of diving on the "Shachihoko". STÉPHANIE-ANNE: The building team did a lot of research, and then we checked the results with experts and asked them to add the elements needed to build a great castle. We did research to recreate the decorations of not only the castle, but also the temples and shrines, and also to find out what materials were used to make them. THIERRY: The colors also change over time, so we made adjustments to that as well. Of course, this is "Assassin's Creed," so you can climb anywhere and jump from almost anywhere. Exploring is fun. --Japanese period games tend to be rather subdued, but were there any barriers to making it a worldwide production? STÉPHANIE-ANNE: It's a game based on history, and we want players to have the opportunity to play with history. This period is so fascinating and celebrated, and has had such an impact on pop culture, that we were fortunate to have the help of renowned experts to make sure we had all the information we needed to faithfully recreate medieval Japan in the 16th century. We maintained historical fidelity because it was a rich period with so much to talk about and we didn't feel the need to change it. There is an experience that goes into fantasy, but keeping it authentic was our primary goal. --In the main storyline, can we experience famous episodes from the Azuchi-Momoyama period (such as the Battle of Nagashino, the Honnoji Incident, the Battle of Komaki and Nagakute, etc.)? STÉPHANIE-ANNE: You will have to wait a little longer for that. --In the recent series, "Origins," "Odyssey," and "Valhalla," you can enjoy the connection to mythology and fantasy elements based on mythological themes. Will this work also contain elements based on Japanese mythology, yokai, and other fictional creatures? STÉPHANIE-ANNE: That is a very good question, but I will answer this one later. --This game also reproduces the four seasons of Japan. Which season did you start first? And which seasons were particularly difficult to express? THIERRY: I started with spring. We all know about cherry blossoms, and I think they are the most symbolic Japanese element for foreigners. And the big difference is winter. I wouldn't say that winter is more complicated because it has many different expressions, but it was very different from spring, summer, and fall, and the challenges were also different. --What was particular about the representation of water, such as waterfalls, rivers, lakes, etc.? THIERRY: All of the water topics were very important to us. We knew that there is a Shinto belief in waterfalls and rivers, and that they are important places in the Japanese eco-system. Even the blueprints of the suburbs are lined with irrigation canals, and they even go into the houses. Thus, we knew that water is a key component of Japanese culture, especially for agriculture. This is why we installed drains everywhere in this work. The presence of water in the Japanese landscape was different, so we took it seriously and treated it as an inviolable part of the Japanese landscape and way of life. --What are some of your favorite places, castles, or cultures that appear in your work? STÉPHANIE-ANNE: That's difficult. THIERRY: My favorite is Takeda Castle. It is on top of a high mountain and is called the castle in the sky, and I like this location. I can't say it's fair because we built it ourselves, but there are many other great places to visit. It was a lot of work to create the forest, but I really enjoy looking at the landscape. I also like how all the ecosystems interact with each other, such as the clouds in the weather system. It's not a location, but I enjoy it because it encompasses the whole game. STÉPHANIE-ANNE: I was impressed by the "Rakuchu Rakugaizu," Japanese folding screens from this period. I was fascinated by the fact that just by looking at them, one could come into contact with the vivid world of this period. The artistic touch is something special. I have never seen anything so full of art. I truly admire the artists of this era. THIERRY: I also think the most striking thing for me was the harmony of nature and architecture. I visited the site and found many places, and I could see how everything was deliberately composed. I was told that trees were planted while the chedi was being built at the time, but everything looked perfect. Also, the culture loves the age and values it, so they cherish moss and things that have taken root there. Japan has maintained these places so they still exist and are still in use. I realized that we are dealing with a subject that has a long history. It is also a culture that values space, living space. These were the most exciting discoveries during my travels in Japan. |
2024.05.19 20:16 Radiant_Security_173 What I take from Shera as a happily married woman
I discovered Shera's videos quite a few years ago, and loved her humour as well as her message to level up. I started noting down all her little gems. They give me motivation, and a giggle too. I am older, in my fifties, and have been happily married for over 15 years, so I don't need her dating, sugaring, or 'get the bag' advice, but I do love her level up advice. I saw another lady share her notes, so I wanted to as well. There are tons, I've realised! I hope you enjoy them!
~~
How do you become the prize?
If you don’t start as the prize, then you aren’t the prize. If you don’t know if your mind that you are already the prize then you can never be the prize.
~~
How to be more feminine so I can be spoiled more?
It’s a lifestyle. You have to act, fake it until you make it, and create a lifestyle. The days that you don’t feel very feminine are the days that you have to use more of your masculine energy.
Remember to always have a space to come back to that is feminine, and recharge yourself with feminine energy. Create a more feminine environment, wear more feminine clothes, listen to music that is going to help your femininity instead of diminishing it.
Keep things that you like to do feminine and do feminine things. Going shopping, getting your nails or hair done, buying shoes, picking out décor for our rooms, decorating tables, going on picnics, watching girly movies.
Recharge yourself by doing some of those things. You need to be able to recharge your femininity at least once or twice a week.
~~
Live the type of life you want already. It may not be on the scale that you want to live it at, but it needs to be a version of it. For example, if you want to live a soft, feminine life make sure your current life reflects that: your current environment, the current way you dress, the current way you walk, talk and act.
The more you receive, the better treatment you receive, if you can get a provider who can let you live a more feminine life, a softer life, then it's just going to get better and better.
But already live the life you want to live, that way they can only improve you and they see how you treat yourself and see what you like and that’s what they are going to be giving you. Your goals will be met just by dating.
~~
What are some ways to keep him interested in he provides well?
Look good
Make sure you know what his interest are
Talk to him
Make sure he feels like he is the man
Look good when you are out with him
Make sure you are pretty and heads turn ‘ooh who’s he with’
His self-esteem will skyrocket when you go out with him if you look good and he’s not going to want to leave that
~~
Men like women to switch it up as long as it’s classy.
~~
Flower attract bees to them by their bright colours and they smell good. Attract men to you:
· Wear bright pretty colours
· Smell good
· Look fresh, dewy and youthful
· Look attractive
Look like the prize. Look like his fantasy. Look through his eyes: what would he like to see?
It’s not that complicated. Bring it back down to simplicity? What do men like?
Heels
Skirts
Dresses
Makeup
Long hair
Red lipstick
Baby voice
Feminine colours
Make them feel good
Give them compliments
Let them talk
Don’t talk about your boring stuff – they don’t care
Use the formula to get success with men.
~~
If you want to dress casual in jeans and a cute top, still wear heels, hair, full makeup. If you’re going to wear jeans, you’re going to need to wear heels.
Also think about this: what sort of man are you attracting. If you wear jeans when you meet you’re going to get taken to a jeans date. Dress for the life you want.
~~
Comment:
When we had a fight I cut my hair short & bangs & went shopping. He was so glad he said “you look like a different person!” The fight was forgotten & he treated me new again & took me shopping again.
~~
"Life is fun! (...) life is a movie, life is a stage. Get into character... "
~~
Men don’t care about anything else but what you look like and how you make them feel.
~~
If you’ve let yourself go, level yourself up to the point that their jaw will drop when they see you.
~~
The only limitations are the ones you believe in.
~~
What do rich men’s wives all have in common besides being pretty?
They’re feminine
They’re classy
They’re not loud and obnoxious
They don’t outshine their husband
They hold back and keep it together in public
They are well proportioned
Shera had a friend who was a little rachet, and she ended up marrying wealthy. She had to totally change everything about herself:
The way she dressed
The way she wore her hair
The way she spoke
The kind of shoes she wore
Her makeup
She had to change it all
How she acted around people
How she spoke to men
She had to change everything
It’s not that she changed who she was inside or her personality
It’s that she changed who she was around men
There’s a difference
~~
Your stock should go up after you get married, not down. If your stock is not rising after marriage you’re doing it backwards. That means still investing into yourself, your beauty, your clothing, into your stash (money, wealth and investments). If you got married and your stock plummeted, that’s your fault.
~~
Loving yourself means putting yourself first as a priority. Knowing your worth and value and not taking any crap from anybody because you value yourself, you love yourself. That’s all loving yourself means. And not talking down about yourself. And knowing that you deserve what you want in life.
Once you do that other people will as well – men, co- workers, your boss, parents, spouse, brother, sister, cousin, whoever. Whoever is in your life at the moment will recognise that you love yourself and that you don’t have to submit to them or that you’re not desperate for their approval. In fact they may start to be desperate for your approval. So make sure you’re putting yourself first.
Don’t be always talking about the other person and what they want or what they think. Don’t care who they are. Don’t care about other people or their spouse or the person they’re interested in. It’s not about them, it’s about you. If they can’t recognise you and they don’t like you, then you are wasting time.
If you have to sit there and be puzzled about why someone is not responding properly or why they’re not doing this or that, it means they don’t like you so just move on and stop trying to waste time worrying about it. You already know that in the back of your mind; you’re just hoping for a different outcome that there won’t be.
Make sure that when you realise you are putting other people before yourself as a priority then you’re not going to get the type of man or people attracted to you that you need. When you can get somebody in the click of a finger and they’re not used to that it means you are valuable and that they are not necessary. They are very unnecessary and therefore they feel like you have even more value because you don’t need them. You don’t need them, they need you. That’s why they seek you out. That’s why they call you, that’s why they ask you out.
Make sure you’re not getting caught up in silliness. If they’re not putting you first, you’re gone. Or you put them on ice; that means you let them figure it out and when they start acting right again then you allow them back into your life. If you’re chasing behind someone, if you’re worrying about someone who ghosts you then you’re not putting yourself first.
And that means you don’t love yourself. A lot of people were taught to act a certain way – not cocky etc – if you don’t, all people see you as is a doormat. You can let down your guards later when they are fully invested in you and aren’t going anywhere, but until that happens they are there to impress you.
~~
How do you fall in love with yourself when you aren’t happy with yourself?
Become happy with yourself:
· Do things that make you happy
· Look the way you need to look
· Continue to do this every day until you are happy
Only you can make you happy
~~
Don’t go out there lookin’ like Plain Jane. Plain Jane gets passed by with the eye.
~~
The key is confidence. You can learn all you want, if you don’t have confidence you can’t pull it off. The key is confidence, knowing your value, and not listening to no dusties. That’s the key, that’s the masterclass right there – be confident.
Be main character energy. Stop caring what people think. Have a goal of what you want and go for it and don’t stop until you get it. Speak positive about yourself and stop dealing with dusties. That’s just it. You do all those things and you’re going to have something. You’re going to get what you’re looking for. That’s it.
~~
It’s not what you look like – it’s how you make them feel.
Are you going to make them feel young again?
Are you going to make life exciting for them?
Do they enjoy being with you?
Do they like being seen out in public with you?
~~
Shera, on when you talk about all your feelings and prior history:
“You’re being an informant on yourself. You’re telling on yourself. You’re giving out all your secrets and revealing everything. So that’s definitely not feminine energy, because feminine energy is naturally dark. You know, it’s water, it’s the cosmos, it’s that. So when you’re revealing everything, when nothing is unknown and everything is known, now you’re masculine. Because that’s light- everything is known. So the more you say, the more you tell, the more you open up, the more masculine you become in that energy, and the less mystery and femininity and feminine allure you have, because now you’re an open book. And they have all the clues to how the story ends and how to manipulate the character.”
~~
“Feminine energy is naturally dark, is water, is the cosmos, is that. So, when you are revealing everything, nothing is unknown and everything is known, now you’re more masculine, because that is light, everything is known.
So the more you say, the more you tell, the more you open up, the more masculine you become in that energy, and the less mystery and femininity and feminine allure you have because now you are an open book, you’re predictable.
And they have all the clues to how the story ends and how to manipulate the character.”
~~
Get them to worry about you, while you worry about you.
~~
How do you find your purpose? You create it.
~~
Leveling up is actually a lot of fun when you are present and mindful about it it’s probably be the best gift you could ever give yourself as a woman.
~~
Stop caring what other people think and live the life you want to live. If you don’t like kissing people’s butts, don’t kiss their butt.
~~
A lot of women don’t realise that if you just get into your feminine, and you stick with your standards, you can get what you ask for.
~~
How to become detached and unbothered?
Stop caring. When you care too much, that’s when you can’t detach and be unbothered. Stop caring, become ‘take it or leave it’. That’s your attitude. You will be fine with it or without it.
~~
Comment:
Three years ago I was getting yelled at a public train station (which we had to take because neither of us had a car) by my dusty disgusting ex. I lived in a cheap apartment with four unsavory roomates and their boyfriends. Now I live in a luxury high rise with a conceirge and valet. All I did today was get a facial, sit by the pool and shop. I don’t have to worry about a SINGLE THING and every man in my life treats me like a queen. I’m truly breaking generational curses; my dad left my mom with four kids alone while she worked at Denny’s waitressing overnight. If it weren’t for Shera’s wisdom I don’t know where I would be today but I just give thanks every day that I saw the light. This is my one and only life so why shouldn’t I be living peacefully and bougie.
It’s crazy how fast life can chance when you realize your worth and act on it. Keep on inching further and further; the more luxurious things you do the more the rest of your life catches up. It literally started with me going to the expensive nail salon instead of the cheap one. Then I felt like I deserved more. I moved into a nicer apartment that was out of my budget at first, then a nicer car, then I started buying designer bags and now I live in an ultra-luxurious place. Small steps and the rest of your life will catch up in time. Of course look your best every day and be healthy. And do not give a second of your time to anyone who does not treat you with respect, remember if they’re not adding to your life they are taking away.
The universe somehow just opened up and rains abundance on me. The more you surround yourself with the vibrations of prosperity the more it will be drawn to you. Ella Ringrose on YouTube helped me a lot to draw in money.
~~
Comment:
Shera ever since I started watching you I have levelled up my life completely. I lost 50 pounds and changed my whole look to be more feminine. My husband was so motivated he started making more money and bought me a home and my dream car. He does everything I want now and he feels proud to bring me home his paycheck. I no longer work and just workout every day and focus on my children. A lot of my family members don’t understand this life but I am very happy and comfortable.
~~
If you give yourself away too easily, your value is low.
~~
10 Important Habits of a Gold Digger
1)high standards
2)high self-esteem
3)perspective
4)purpose
5)options
6)be unapologetic
7)looks
8)business plan
9) knowledge/value of money
10)stay unbothered
~~
‘Busy patterns that aren’t classy make you look older’. You can show how classy your clothing is by the cut, colour and pattern, not the brand or designer.
Look to magazines for style inspiration:
O magazine = for older women
Instyle = more youthful
~~
Comment:
Men need respect, they don’t want your love.
~~
Wealthy men like women who are thin, feminine, and classy, or classy/sexy.
~~
Classic = classy. Dress in a way that you wouldn’t look crazy in a photo in 20 years time.
~~
‘We’re not trying to fit in, we’re trying to stand out.’
~~
Comment:
Looking beautiful, adore your blouse and that classy backdrop. I have earrings very similar. I have to go out now, I’m over 60 and always look stylish heading out the door . Make up and a cute dress today. You never know who is at the coffee shop 😊
~~
Be cute, be feminine, don’t talk so much. Let him do the hard work.
~~
‘You’re not his momma stop acting like it’ video
Women will turn into their man's mother without realizing it! Then he will run.
A lot of times when a woman has been in a relationship for a long time or is married, they start acting like a mother to the man without even realising it. To avoid that, do these things:
· Totally change everything – change how you dress, put more makeup on, wear heels.
· Act ten years younger.
· Don’t be concerned about the things you used to be concerned about.
· Let everything be free and fly.
· If you once worried about dishes in the sink don’t worry about it anymore.
· Change it up.
· If he realises that you stop caring and you just put all that extra energy that you were nagging and trying to organise and keep stuff right or that you were frustrated about – if you took all that extra energy and put it back into yourself – and you stopped worrying about the house and the domestic issues and him doing this, this and that. He’s going to think, ‘Well dang, everything is out of order, now she’s dressing like this and putting on makeup and looking this way, and the dishes aren’t clean anymore, or she’s not nagging me about picking up my clothes and the room is a mess’, then either he’ll get up and do it or he’ll start turning into your father.
· You mirror what they do and they’re gonna start seeing what you are doing by you have to act that way with them.
· You stop cleaning dishes, you start leaving your stuff on the floor.
· You start dressing cute, and say you’re going out.
· You forget to do stuff, or you stop helping out because you don’t want to damage your nails or the Real Housewives is on.
· Start doing the same thing to him – he watches sport, you say, ‘Oh Housewives is on, I wanna watch it. I don’t wanna watch it later.’
· You don’t do any of this like it’s revenge, just like you joined him in not being responsible, or joined him with more relaxed rules.
· He might like it. He might be like ‘you’re so laid back, you look happy today’.
· Then he might start cleaning up more because it’s not an order.
· But as long as you’re happy and not nagging him, he’s going to do it voluntarily.
~~
How you act and how you make him feel will give you more power to get what you want.
· Look good
· Be more feminine
· Speak softly
· Smile
· Laugh at whatever he is saying and make him feel good about who he is
· Let him talk more than you
· Feed his ego
· Act vulnerable and he will want to do things for you, will want to please and impress you
(I added:
· Ladylike, dainty, girlish, delicate, compassionate, considerate, sympathetic, tolerant, warm-hearted, gracious
· Calm, refined and tasteful
· Agreeable, friendly, good-natured,
· Kind, moral, pleasant, delightful)
That’s how you get what you want.
Our power is in our femininity, not in our masculinity, not in being in competition with a man, but making them weak because we are giving them exactly what no-one else does and so they’re not used to it and they yield to it and want more of it and they’re going to do what you want.
Being feminine is the key to getting what you want. There is no magic formula; it’s just ‘being feminine’. Work on that and you will get what you want. Work on your baby voice. Work on asking men for things and help, feeling vulnerable around them and stroking their ego and you can pretty much get what you want, especially if you choose the right target. Don’t go up and choose someone who has a thousand options, go up and choose someone who feels lucky to be with you and who will act accordingly.
~~
Men don’t like jealous women. You look insecure if you show jealousy. If you feel jealous, act like you don’t care – laugh it off.
~~
Men don’t like to be told what to do or have someone running their life. They don’t need you to offer them suggestions – this will just make them feel like a child, emasculated and they will rebel.
~~
Have a hobby and have a life.
Have your own life.
Make yourself number one.
Make sure he likes you more than you like him. If he really likes you he is going to chase you and not let you go, and you don’t even have to do anything to make this happen.
~~
I am not a people pleaser. I live for myself not others. And that’s how you have to be to be unbothered. Be unbothered always and you will live your best life.
~~
I live in a fantasy world every day. That’s why I can create the world that I want.
~~
A dream woman is motivation for a man in every way. If you no longer motivate him, you are no longer his dream woman.
~~
A good actress will melt into her role.
~~
Instead of waiting and having regret later, make the decision now to do what’s best for you, not what’s best for the outside world and what they think. Do what’s best for you in the long run, not what’s best for you right now in this one moment which will pass. Think ahead. Right now is gone. As soon as you think about it, it’s gone.
~~
To be a dream woman and to be worshipped by the man you are with, you have to stay focused on you. Don’t be about him. A man’s dream woman does not mean she is all over him. She has a life. Keep a healthy distance instead of being extra clingy. That way you stay on his level. Make sure you appeal to his friends (in a classy way) too. He will see that others appreciate you and know that he has the prize.
~~
“Put outfits together in your mind when negative people are talking.”
~~
How to be unbothered?
Comments:
‘Fake it till you make it. That’s what happened with me I started to pretend that it didn’t bother me. Now I’m literally so unbothered and focused on myself.’
‘When you are showing that you’re upset or bothered, you are giving them power to know they affected you. I love everyone but I do not argue. I have trained myself not to get emotional even at my husband or family. Being this way also makes you more respected, it’s part of your charisma.’
‘Being unbothered is a choice.’
~~
Comment:
If you're over 35 the best ways to look young is to drink a gallon of water a day....it's good for wrinkles..and helps your makeup glide on like butter.
Eat less and eat as much green as you can (Kale, Broccoli, Spinach) so you can be as slim as possible so that you feel good in your clothes....
Work out to increase your confidence...
Dress your age....nothing worse than a woman who dresses out of her age range...makes you look like you're trying too hard...
~~
Build confidence by not accepting that you have low self-esteem. Every day improve yourself so your self-esteem gets higher and higher. Don’t wallow in it, don’t accept it. Every day tell yourself what you want:
I look good
I feel good
I’m great
Tell yourself that. Give other people compliments, and they will give you compliments. Before you know it, you’ll have high self-esteem. You have to work on it, it doesn’t come automatically. It took a long time to tear down your self-esteem, and it takes a moment to pull it back up.
Just work on it, keep moving forward. Don’t let anyone put you down again.
~~
How to keep your husband interested
· Less communication
· Less giving of information
· Spend more time apart
· Don’t get so close that he is going to want to back up
· You have to get close then back up, get close then back up again
· Look your best at all times
· Don’t smother people and they won’t try to escape you
· Have a life
· Have things to do
· Have a to-do list that does not require that person
Go out and do things. He will appreciate you more when you get back. He will wonder what you’ve been doing. He will anticipate your return.
Don’t let him conquer you. When men have conquered a woman, they will move on. If he doesn’t feel like he can ever conquer you, he will try harder. Never let him feel like he totally has you.
~~
Masculine people (men or women) tend to run to the rescue of others.
~~
Shera, on uplevelling your looks and being your best every time you step out the front door: Don’t let life pass you by. Life is short. Life is very short.
Comment on Shera’s video: My mom went through a season where she dressed up and it just made our whole family and home come alive. I remember when my mom walked into the living room all fixed up and my little cousin's eyes just lit up. He said be careful don't touch her lol. He literally went from seeing her as a plain ol’ aunt to a princess. He was so young, but he couldn't fake it; that was his instincts.
~~
· It’s not about looking young, it’s about looking good.
· If you miss an opportunity to be levelling up, you are only cheating yourself.
· Stay ready.
· Every day do something to improve yourself - hair, exercise, mindset, self-esteem
· Enjoy getting ready – be creative
· If you’re wearing makeup, go bold. Men want to see the makeup.
· Men like it when you look your best. When you’re out in public, people are judging a man’s status by the type of wife he has, how she looks. You add status to any man that you are with.
· If you are attractive, you will have a lot of friends inviting you out. They will use you to attract attention because you look good. They are going to gravitate towards you and associate you with success. Your appearance will get you further than almost anything else.
~~
When you’re trying to lure a man in, dress for that man. Men do pay attention to what you look like.
Broke men pay attention to your silhouette. They look at your body because they just want to have sex with you.
Men with money pay attention to what you wear: your clothes, your shoes, your jewellery, your shoes, your hair, everything. Are you appropriate? If he wants to take it to the next level and take you out and get to know you, start a relationship, introduce you to his friends, he isn’t just looking at your body.
~~
The better you look, the more successful he looks.
~~
Men are visual creatures. Everything men do is based on that they see. How they treat you is based on what they see.
If you go without makeup, hair not done, and dressed badly, you won’t get the same treatment even by the people who see you every day. When you look good, the people around you have a little bit more respect for you. They see you looking pulled together and to see you any other way is foreign to them.
When you are levelled up, keep this in mind, don’t backslide. When a man meets you looking good, he wants to see you like that for your entire marriage. He doesn’t want you to let yourself go.
Try hard to keep yourself up during your marriage; how you looked when you met him is how he wants to see you forever more.
Men are very visual creatures, so when they see us looking bad, it upsets them. It literally makes them clench inside a little bit because they are so affected by the visual.
You are like a Christmas tree or a beautiful ornament. It’s a pleasure to look at you and they’ll want to be around you just for that.
People may treat you badly because you didn’t keep up your looks - a man could be speaking to another woman or ignoring you.
~~
“Just act and dress like a feminine lady. You’re making them feel younger by being in their presence. Watch 1950s Hollywood movie stars to watch how those ladies acted.”
Never help a man level up as they will always put you in a maternal role and look at you as a mother figure.
How to change your mindset:
1. Tell yourself that you are no longer allowing people to make you feel bad about something – that’s your choice.
2. Decide that you want to be better, and each day take action towards being better. Your self-esteem will rise from this.
3. Surround yourself with like-minded people so you can influence and help each other.
~~
People who talk less are generally more well respected.
~~
“Look for the positive in every negative comment or situation, and you will find it every time.
Whatever your weakness is, make it your strength, to fuel you to the next level. That’s how you really level up from inside. Face your weakness head on. If someone calls you fat, flaunt it. Say, ‘So what? Yes, I eat, I haven’t seen a rib in many decades, but I’m happy. I got a lovely husband, nice house, nice car.’
Instead of being a victim about it, empower yourself with it. Your flaw can be your power. It can be your power if you take it and embrace it and stop focusing on it as an insecurity. The more you focus on something as an insecurity, the more other people will focus on it because they know it’s your weakness and that’s how you get affected. Whatever your flaw is, turn it into something that can give you more than it can take from you. If people say it’s a flaw, take it and turn it into a power.”
~~
Don’t listen to what people say; what do you think? Opposition creates interest.
~~
· Be extra feminine in the way you dress, speak, act.
· Be charming - smile, don't argue (and then do exactly what you were going to do anyway).
· Ask for help from your man - opening a jar, lifting something, reaching up high, anything - they love it. Do this three times a day. Say things like 'It's too heavy for me'. Doing this makes them feel protective of you.
· When you are offered help, accept it.
· Talk to men in a feminine baby-voice.
· Practice being feminine and flirty every day to men everywhere so that it becomes second nature. Things such as asking a man for assistance at the supermarket and smiling and saying thank you in a feminine voice.
· Use your feminine charm on everyone around you.
· Look your best, put on makeup every day, smell good, be well groomed, have nice nails.
· Speak to him as if he's a person and not a child - don't try to control him. Mothers control their children and men don't want to have sex with their mother.
· Ask for what you want, but do it in a feminine way.
· Act like the prize to be the prize.
· Be unpredictable - men will get bored of you if you are too predictable. If you are unpredictable it is exciting to them plus scares them a little too. They will wonder why you are different.
· Don't talk so much.
· Mirror how he acts to bring him closer. Say your man is a bit distant; my natural inclination is to wonder what is wrong, try and talk to him etc. That is clingy, a better way to behave is mirror that - be busy doing your own things, happy but busy and let him come looking for you when he comes out of his cave.
· Be feminine in everything you do - surround yourself with reminders of your femininity - i.e. a pink phone cover.
· Be the receiver not the giver.
· Let him think up ideas, with your subtle input.
· Hardly ever text or call him at work, unless you need him to pick up something.
· Dress up every day for no reason.
· Smile.
· Always be levelling up.
· Have a plan B.
· Don't tell him your plans for the day or where you have been - be a little mysterious and let him wonder what you've been up to.
· Keep the mystery alive with privacy - closet, bathroom etc.
· Don't do everything together.
· Have hobbies and interests of your own.
· Make him feel like a man by asking his advice, seeking help from him, not trying to tell him what to do etc.
· Keep up with new trends and the latest styles. Try new looks, buy new clothes, look cute.
· Make him feel younger by being fresh, new and exciting.
· Be excited by life and easily impressed.
· Go on vacation, go out to places.
· Do new things and turn him on to new things. Do new things in bed.
· Change your looks - look different, be different.
· Listen to the latest music.
· Keep up with the latest trends in things.
· Be an exciting adventure.
· Be happy go lucky, not a care in the world, everything is fun.
· Head up, chin up, look around, smile.
· Get all excited when you talk about little things.
· Light up when you talk to people.
· Bring a high energy.
· Wear your hair long and straight or smooth-wavy.
· Be seasonal - with your look/outfit, eating, décor.
· Reinvent yourself regularly.
· Play different characters for fun.
· Channel someone else when you go out.
· Be constantly changing and improving.
· Be a lively woman - bubbly, happy, exciting, smiling, lifts their spirits, fun to be around.
· Grab his hand and pull him along like a child.
· Be energetic and breathe life into others.
· Mirror his body language about 10-30 seconds later.
· Try new things, new looks.
· Practice your charm on waiters etc.
· Be a people watcher in different environments depending on the lifestyle you desire.
· Look from the outside in - how do people view you? How attractive are you?
· Transform yourself.
· Be his ultimate fantasy girl.
· Look good, do your makeup every day.
· Speak to your him as if he is a person and not a child.
· ‘Can you help me/lift that/get me a blanket?’ in a baby voice. Get him used to looking after you. ‘This is too heavy for me, I can’t reach it’. Do this three times a day minimum.
· Ask for what you want in a feminine way.
· Use the baby voice.
· Be extra feminine.
· Be charming – smile, don’t argue – agree (but do exactly what you want anyway).
· Ask for help from men.
· When you are offered anything, accept it.
· Talk to men in a feminine nature.
· Practice being feminine and flirty every do so that it becomes second nature to you – it will become easier with practice.
· Ask questions and smile.
· Play a bit dumb (not stupid; request their knowledge).
· Use your feminine charm on everyone around you – practice on any man to get better.
· Never get too comfortable (don’t let yourself go).
· Keep the illusion going – makeup, hair, lotion, fragrance.
· Look like you did when you first met (me: 66-67kg, long blonde hair, stylish clothes).
· Men are visual creatures and your hair is foremost – long, silky and straight.
· Have your makeup on, look cute.
· Shera’s husband treated her differently when she gained weight and then lost weight.
· Shera’s advice to a lady who gained 40 pounds and now her husband isn’t attracted to her: ‘Lose 40 pounds’.
· Still look sexy even if you’ve been together a while.
· Exfoliate your face and body.
· Have glowing, moisturised skin.
· Use highlighter on your face.
· Wear perfume, body lotion, nicely scented products.
· Wear red lipstick, eye makeup.
· Wear light, modern perfumes.
· Have simple, nice nails.
· Tell him that whatever you want is your ‘ultimate fantasy’.
~~
If you want to be married to a rich man, dress like a rich man’s wife.
~~
Be unbothered
It’s so amazing to just not care. You have no idea how much better your life gets when you stop caring. When you stop caring about stuff that’s not beneficial to you, everything blossoms, everything. Because your attention is no longer on anything negative, it’s all on you, and so you blossom.
How to keep your man chasing you? Be busy, don’t call him all the time. Have a hobby or a business and let him have to go looking for you.
~~
Did you ever feel insecure about your weight?
“No.
At any weight my mental game was tight, it was good. I could get anything I wanted, so it never really held me back. The only thing that would ever make me feel insecure about anything is… I really don’t have a lot of insecurities anymore. I had the normal insecurities of a child. But when I grew up and I understood that you could take your power from any situation, you no longer have insecurities.
If I was insecure about my weight, I wouldn’t be up here on YouTube, and if someone says something about how I look, I don’t care. I say Okay yeah and so what? I’m eating good, I’m living good. It doesn’t bother me, because that’s not what defines me. I’m gonna get paid skinny or fat. I’m gonna be happy at whatever makes me feel happiest. So it’s all about how you feel about yourself and how you value yourself. You don’t base your self-worth on what other people think about you.
And the reason why I teach people you gotta look good if you want to turn heads and make men cross the room is because if you are trying to get a date, yes, you have to be concerned with what other people find attractive. But that should not ever play a role in your own personal self-esteem.
Whatever you need to feel good at the time, tomorrow or today, that’s what you need to be doing.”
~~
submitted by Radiant_Security_173 to SheraSeven [link] [comments]
~~
How do you become the prize?
If you don’t start as the prize, then you aren’t the prize. If you don’t know if your mind that you are already the prize then you can never be the prize.
~~
How to be more feminine so I can be spoiled more?
It’s a lifestyle. You have to act, fake it until you make it, and create a lifestyle. The days that you don’t feel very feminine are the days that you have to use more of your masculine energy.
Remember to always have a space to come back to that is feminine, and recharge yourself with feminine energy. Create a more feminine environment, wear more feminine clothes, listen to music that is going to help your femininity instead of diminishing it.
Keep things that you like to do feminine and do feminine things. Going shopping, getting your nails or hair done, buying shoes, picking out décor for our rooms, decorating tables, going on picnics, watching girly movies.
Recharge yourself by doing some of those things. You need to be able to recharge your femininity at least once or twice a week.
~~
Live the type of life you want already. It may not be on the scale that you want to live it at, but it needs to be a version of it. For example, if you want to live a soft, feminine life make sure your current life reflects that: your current environment, the current way you dress, the current way you walk, talk and act.
The more you receive, the better treatment you receive, if you can get a provider who can let you live a more feminine life, a softer life, then it's just going to get better and better.
But already live the life you want to live, that way they can only improve you and they see how you treat yourself and see what you like and that’s what they are going to be giving you. Your goals will be met just by dating.
~~
What are some ways to keep him interested in he provides well?
Look good
Make sure you know what his interest are
Talk to him
Make sure he feels like he is the man
Look good when you are out with him
Make sure you are pretty and heads turn ‘ooh who’s he with’
His self-esteem will skyrocket when you go out with him if you look good and he’s not going to want to leave that
~~
Men like women to switch it up as long as it’s classy.
~~
Flower attract bees to them by their bright colours and they smell good. Attract men to you:
· Wear bright pretty colours
· Smell good
· Look fresh, dewy and youthful
· Look attractive
Look like the prize. Look like his fantasy. Look through his eyes: what would he like to see?
It’s not that complicated. Bring it back down to simplicity? What do men like?
Heels
Skirts
Dresses
Makeup
Long hair
Red lipstick
Baby voice
Feminine colours
Make them feel good
Give them compliments
Let them talk
Don’t talk about your boring stuff – they don’t care
Use the formula to get success with men.
~~
If you want to dress casual in jeans and a cute top, still wear heels, hair, full makeup. If you’re going to wear jeans, you’re going to need to wear heels.
Also think about this: what sort of man are you attracting. If you wear jeans when you meet you’re going to get taken to a jeans date. Dress for the life you want.
~~
Comment:
When we had a fight I cut my hair short & bangs & went shopping. He was so glad he said “you look like a different person!” The fight was forgotten & he treated me new again & took me shopping again.
~~
"Life is fun! (...) life is a movie, life is a stage. Get into character... "
~~
Men don’t care about anything else but what you look like and how you make them feel.
~~
If you’ve let yourself go, level yourself up to the point that their jaw will drop when they see you.
~~
The only limitations are the ones you believe in.
~~
What do rich men’s wives all have in common besides being pretty?
They’re feminine
They’re classy
They’re not loud and obnoxious
They don’t outshine their husband
They hold back and keep it together in public
They are well proportioned
Shera had a friend who was a little rachet, and she ended up marrying wealthy. She had to totally change everything about herself:
The way she dressed
The way she wore her hair
The way she spoke
The kind of shoes she wore
Her makeup
She had to change it all
How she acted around people
How she spoke to men
She had to change everything
It’s not that she changed who she was inside or her personality
It’s that she changed who she was around men
There’s a difference
~~
Your stock should go up after you get married, not down. If your stock is not rising after marriage you’re doing it backwards. That means still investing into yourself, your beauty, your clothing, into your stash (money, wealth and investments). If you got married and your stock plummeted, that’s your fault.
~~
Loving yourself means putting yourself first as a priority. Knowing your worth and value and not taking any crap from anybody because you value yourself, you love yourself. That’s all loving yourself means. And not talking down about yourself. And knowing that you deserve what you want in life.
Once you do that other people will as well – men, co- workers, your boss, parents, spouse, brother, sister, cousin, whoever. Whoever is in your life at the moment will recognise that you love yourself and that you don’t have to submit to them or that you’re not desperate for their approval. In fact they may start to be desperate for your approval. So make sure you’re putting yourself first.
Don’t be always talking about the other person and what they want or what they think. Don’t care who they are. Don’t care about other people or their spouse or the person they’re interested in. It’s not about them, it’s about you. If they can’t recognise you and they don’t like you, then you are wasting time.
If you have to sit there and be puzzled about why someone is not responding properly or why they’re not doing this or that, it means they don’t like you so just move on and stop trying to waste time worrying about it. You already know that in the back of your mind; you’re just hoping for a different outcome that there won’t be.
Make sure that when you realise you are putting other people before yourself as a priority then you’re not going to get the type of man or people attracted to you that you need. When you can get somebody in the click of a finger and they’re not used to that it means you are valuable and that they are not necessary. They are very unnecessary and therefore they feel like you have even more value because you don’t need them. You don’t need them, they need you. That’s why they seek you out. That’s why they call you, that’s why they ask you out.
Make sure you’re not getting caught up in silliness. If they’re not putting you first, you’re gone. Or you put them on ice; that means you let them figure it out and when they start acting right again then you allow them back into your life. If you’re chasing behind someone, if you’re worrying about someone who ghosts you then you’re not putting yourself first.
And that means you don’t love yourself. A lot of people were taught to act a certain way – not cocky etc – if you don’t, all people see you as is a doormat. You can let down your guards later when they are fully invested in you and aren’t going anywhere, but until that happens they are there to impress you.
~~
How do you fall in love with yourself when you aren’t happy with yourself?
Become happy with yourself:
· Do things that make you happy
· Look the way you need to look
· Continue to do this every day until you are happy
Only you can make you happy
~~
Don’t go out there lookin’ like Plain Jane. Plain Jane gets passed by with the eye.
~~
The key is confidence. You can learn all you want, if you don’t have confidence you can’t pull it off. The key is confidence, knowing your value, and not listening to no dusties. That’s the key, that’s the masterclass right there – be confident.
Be main character energy. Stop caring what people think. Have a goal of what you want and go for it and don’t stop until you get it. Speak positive about yourself and stop dealing with dusties. That’s just it. You do all those things and you’re going to have something. You’re going to get what you’re looking for. That’s it.
~~
It’s not what you look like – it’s how you make them feel.
Are you going to make them feel young again?
Are you going to make life exciting for them?
Do they enjoy being with you?
Do they like being seen out in public with you?
~~
Shera, on when you talk about all your feelings and prior history:
“You’re being an informant on yourself. You’re telling on yourself. You’re giving out all your secrets and revealing everything. So that’s definitely not feminine energy, because feminine energy is naturally dark. You know, it’s water, it’s the cosmos, it’s that. So when you’re revealing everything, when nothing is unknown and everything is known, now you’re masculine. Because that’s light- everything is known. So the more you say, the more you tell, the more you open up, the more masculine you become in that energy, and the less mystery and femininity and feminine allure you have, because now you’re an open book. And they have all the clues to how the story ends and how to manipulate the character.”
~~
“Feminine energy is naturally dark, is water, is the cosmos, is that. So, when you are revealing everything, nothing is unknown and everything is known, now you’re more masculine, because that is light, everything is known.
So the more you say, the more you tell, the more you open up, the more masculine you become in that energy, and the less mystery and femininity and feminine allure you have because now you are an open book, you’re predictable.
And they have all the clues to how the story ends and how to manipulate the character.”
~~
Get them to worry about you, while you worry about you.
~~
How do you find your purpose? You create it.
~~
Leveling up is actually a lot of fun when you are present and mindful about it it’s probably be the best gift you could ever give yourself as a woman.
~~
Stop caring what other people think and live the life you want to live. If you don’t like kissing people’s butts, don’t kiss their butt.
~~
A lot of women don’t realise that if you just get into your feminine, and you stick with your standards, you can get what you ask for.
~~
How to become detached and unbothered?
Stop caring. When you care too much, that’s when you can’t detach and be unbothered. Stop caring, become ‘take it or leave it’. That’s your attitude. You will be fine with it or without it.
~~
Comment:
Three years ago I was getting yelled at a public train station (which we had to take because neither of us had a car) by my dusty disgusting ex. I lived in a cheap apartment with four unsavory roomates and their boyfriends. Now I live in a luxury high rise with a conceirge and valet. All I did today was get a facial, sit by the pool and shop. I don’t have to worry about a SINGLE THING and every man in my life treats me like a queen. I’m truly breaking generational curses; my dad left my mom with four kids alone while she worked at Denny’s waitressing overnight. If it weren’t for Shera’s wisdom I don’t know where I would be today but I just give thanks every day that I saw the light. This is my one and only life so why shouldn’t I be living peacefully and bougie.
It’s crazy how fast life can chance when you realize your worth and act on it. Keep on inching further and further; the more luxurious things you do the more the rest of your life catches up. It literally started with me going to the expensive nail salon instead of the cheap one. Then I felt like I deserved more. I moved into a nicer apartment that was out of my budget at first, then a nicer car, then I started buying designer bags and now I live in an ultra-luxurious place. Small steps and the rest of your life will catch up in time. Of course look your best every day and be healthy. And do not give a second of your time to anyone who does not treat you with respect, remember if they’re not adding to your life they are taking away.
The universe somehow just opened up and rains abundance on me. The more you surround yourself with the vibrations of prosperity the more it will be drawn to you. Ella Ringrose on YouTube helped me a lot to draw in money.
~~
Comment:
Shera ever since I started watching you I have levelled up my life completely. I lost 50 pounds and changed my whole look to be more feminine. My husband was so motivated he started making more money and bought me a home and my dream car. He does everything I want now and he feels proud to bring me home his paycheck. I no longer work and just workout every day and focus on my children. A lot of my family members don’t understand this life but I am very happy and comfortable.
~~
If you give yourself away too easily, your value is low.
~~
10 Important Habits of a Gold Digger
1)high standards
2)high self-esteem
3)perspective
4)purpose
5)options
6)be unapologetic
7)looks
8)business plan
9) knowledge/value of money
10)stay unbothered
~~
‘Busy patterns that aren’t classy make you look older’. You can show how classy your clothing is by the cut, colour and pattern, not the brand or designer.
Look to magazines for style inspiration:
O magazine = for older women
Instyle = more youthful
~~
Comment:
Men need respect, they don’t want your love.
~~
Wealthy men like women who are thin, feminine, and classy, or classy/sexy.
~~
Classic = classy. Dress in a way that you wouldn’t look crazy in a photo in 20 years time.
~~
‘We’re not trying to fit in, we’re trying to stand out.’
~~
Comment:
Looking beautiful, adore your blouse and that classy backdrop. I have earrings very similar. I have to go out now, I’m over 60 and always look stylish heading out the door . Make up and a cute dress today. You never know who is at the coffee shop 😊
~~
Be cute, be feminine, don’t talk so much. Let him do the hard work.
~~
‘You’re not his momma stop acting like it’ video
Women will turn into their man's mother without realizing it! Then he will run.
A lot of times when a woman has been in a relationship for a long time or is married, they start acting like a mother to the man without even realising it. To avoid that, do these things:
· Totally change everything – change how you dress, put more makeup on, wear heels.
· Act ten years younger.
· Don’t be concerned about the things you used to be concerned about.
· Let everything be free and fly.
· If you once worried about dishes in the sink don’t worry about it anymore.
· Change it up.
· If he realises that you stop caring and you just put all that extra energy that you were nagging and trying to organise and keep stuff right or that you were frustrated about – if you took all that extra energy and put it back into yourself – and you stopped worrying about the house and the domestic issues and him doing this, this and that. He’s going to think, ‘Well dang, everything is out of order, now she’s dressing like this and putting on makeup and looking this way, and the dishes aren’t clean anymore, or she’s not nagging me about picking up my clothes and the room is a mess’, then either he’ll get up and do it or he’ll start turning into your father.
· You mirror what they do and they’re gonna start seeing what you are doing by you have to act that way with them.
· You stop cleaning dishes, you start leaving your stuff on the floor.
· You start dressing cute, and say you’re going out.
· You forget to do stuff, or you stop helping out because you don’t want to damage your nails or the Real Housewives is on.
· Start doing the same thing to him – he watches sport, you say, ‘Oh Housewives is on, I wanna watch it. I don’t wanna watch it later.’
· You don’t do any of this like it’s revenge, just like you joined him in not being responsible, or joined him with more relaxed rules.
· He might like it. He might be like ‘you’re so laid back, you look happy today’.
· Then he might start cleaning up more because it’s not an order.
· But as long as you’re happy and not nagging him, he’s going to do it voluntarily.
~~
How you act and how you make him feel will give you more power to get what you want.
· Look good
· Be more feminine
· Speak softly
· Smile
· Laugh at whatever he is saying and make him feel good about who he is
· Let him talk more than you
· Feed his ego
· Act vulnerable and he will want to do things for you, will want to please and impress you
(I added:
· Ladylike, dainty, girlish, delicate, compassionate, considerate, sympathetic, tolerant, warm-hearted, gracious
· Calm, refined and tasteful
· Agreeable, friendly, good-natured,
· Kind, moral, pleasant, delightful)
That’s how you get what you want.
Our power is in our femininity, not in our masculinity, not in being in competition with a man, but making them weak because we are giving them exactly what no-one else does and so they’re not used to it and they yield to it and want more of it and they’re going to do what you want.
Being feminine is the key to getting what you want. There is no magic formula; it’s just ‘being feminine’. Work on that and you will get what you want. Work on your baby voice. Work on asking men for things and help, feeling vulnerable around them and stroking their ego and you can pretty much get what you want, especially if you choose the right target. Don’t go up and choose someone who has a thousand options, go up and choose someone who feels lucky to be with you and who will act accordingly.
~~
Men don’t like jealous women. You look insecure if you show jealousy. If you feel jealous, act like you don’t care – laugh it off.
~~
Men don’t like to be told what to do or have someone running their life. They don’t need you to offer them suggestions – this will just make them feel like a child, emasculated and they will rebel.
~~
Have a hobby and have a life.
Have your own life.
Make yourself number one.
Make sure he likes you more than you like him. If he really likes you he is going to chase you and not let you go, and you don’t even have to do anything to make this happen.
~~
I am not a people pleaser. I live for myself not others. And that’s how you have to be to be unbothered. Be unbothered always and you will live your best life.
~~
I live in a fantasy world every day. That’s why I can create the world that I want.
~~
A dream woman is motivation for a man in every way. If you no longer motivate him, you are no longer his dream woman.
~~
A good actress will melt into her role.
~~
Instead of waiting and having regret later, make the decision now to do what’s best for you, not what’s best for the outside world and what they think. Do what’s best for you in the long run, not what’s best for you right now in this one moment which will pass. Think ahead. Right now is gone. As soon as you think about it, it’s gone.
~~
To be a dream woman and to be worshipped by the man you are with, you have to stay focused on you. Don’t be about him. A man’s dream woman does not mean she is all over him. She has a life. Keep a healthy distance instead of being extra clingy. That way you stay on his level. Make sure you appeal to his friends (in a classy way) too. He will see that others appreciate you and know that he has the prize.
~~
“Put outfits together in your mind when negative people are talking.”
~~
How to be unbothered?
Comments:
‘Fake it till you make it. That’s what happened with me I started to pretend that it didn’t bother me. Now I’m literally so unbothered and focused on myself.’
‘When you are showing that you’re upset or bothered, you are giving them power to know they affected you. I love everyone but I do not argue. I have trained myself not to get emotional even at my husband or family. Being this way also makes you more respected, it’s part of your charisma.’
‘Being unbothered is a choice.’
~~
Comment:
If you're over 35 the best ways to look young is to drink a gallon of water a day....it's good for wrinkles..and helps your makeup glide on like butter.
Eat less and eat as much green as you can (Kale, Broccoli, Spinach) so you can be as slim as possible so that you feel good in your clothes....
Work out to increase your confidence...
Dress your age....nothing worse than a woman who dresses out of her age range...makes you look like you're trying too hard...
~~
Build confidence by not accepting that you have low self-esteem. Every day improve yourself so your self-esteem gets higher and higher. Don’t wallow in it, don’t accept it. Every day tell yourself what you want:
I look good
I feel good
I’m great
Tell yourself that. Give other people compliments, and they will give you compliments. Before you know it, you’ll have high self-esteem. You have to work on it, it doesn’t come automatically. It took a long time to tear down your self-esteem, and it takes a moment to pull it back up.
Just work on it, keep moving forward. Don’t let anyone put you down again.
~~
How to keep your husband interested
· Less communication
· Less giving of information
· Spend more time apart
· Don’t get so close that he is going to want to back up
· You have to get close then back up, get close then back up again
· Look your best at all times
· Don’t smother people and they won’t try to escape you
· Have a life
· Have things to do
· Have a to-do list that does not require that person
Go out and do things. He will appreciate you more when you get back. He will wonder what you’ve been doing. He will anticipate your return.
Don’t let him conquer you. When men have conquered a woman, they will move on. If he doesn’t feel like he can ever conquer you, he will try harder. Never let him feel like he totally has you.
~~
Masculine people (men or women) tend to run to the rescue of others.
~~
Shera, on uplevelling your looks and being your best every time you step out the front door: Don’t let life pass you by. Life is short. Life is very short.
Comment on Shera’s video: My mom went through a season where she dressed up and it just made our whole family and home come alive. I remember when my mom walked into the living room all fixed up and my little cousin's eyes just lit up. He said be careful don't touch her lol. He literally went from seeing her as a plain ol’ aunt to a princess. He was so young, but he couldn't fake it; that was his instincts.
~~
· It’s not about looking young, it’s about looking good.
· If you miss an opportunity to be levelling up, you are only cheating yourself.
· Stay ready.
· Every day do something to improve yourself - hair, exercise, mindset, self-esteem
· Enjoy getting ready – be creative
· If you’re wearing makeup, go bold. Men want to see the makeup.
· Men like it when you look your best. When you’re out in public, people are judging a man’s status by the type of wife he has, how she looks. You add status to any man that you are with.
· If you are attractive, you will have a lot of friends inviting you out. They will use you to attract attention because you look good. They are going to gravitate towards you and associate you with success. Your appearance will get you further than almost anything else.
~~
When you’re trying to lure a man in, dress for that man. Men do pay attention to what you look like.
Broke men pay attention to your silhouette. They look at your body because they just want to have sex with you.
Men with money pay attention to what you wear: your clothes, your shoes, your jewellery, your shoes, your hair, everything. Are you appropriate? If he wants to take it to the next level and take you out and get to know you, start a relationship, introduce you to his friends, he isn’t just looking at your body.
~~
The better you look, the more successful he looks.
~~
Men are visual creatures. Everything men do is based on that they see. How they treat you is based on what they see.
If you go without makeup, hair not done, and dressed badly, you won’t get the same treatment even by the people who see you every day. When you look good, the people around you have a little bit more respect for you. They see you looking pulled together and to see you any other way is foreign to them.
When you are levelled up, keep this in mind, don’t backslide. When a man meets you looking good, he wants to see you like that for your entire marriage. He doesn’t want you to let yourself go.
Try hard to keep yourself up during your marriage; how you looked when you met him is how he wants to see you forever more.
Men are very visual creatures, so when they see us looking bad, it upsets them. It literally makes them clench inside a little bit because they are so affected by the visual.
You are like a Christmas tree or a beautiful ornament. It’s a pleasure to look at you and they’ll want to be around you just for that.
People may treat you badly because you didn’t keep up your looks - a man could be speaking to another woman or ignoring you.
~~
“Just act and dress like a feminine lady. You’re making them feel younger by being in their presence. Watch 1950s Hollywood movie stars to watch how those ladies acted.”
Never help a man level up as they will always put you in a maternal role and look at you as a mother figure.
How to change your mindset:
1. Tell yourself that you are no longer allowing people to make you feel bad about something – that’s your choice.
2. Decide that you want to be better, and each day take action towards being better. Your self-esteem will rise from this.
3. Surround yourself with like-minded people so you can influence and help each other.
~~
People who talk less are generally more well respected.
~~
“Look for the positive in every negative comment or situation, and you will find it every time.
Whatever your weakness is, make it your strength, to fuel you to the next level. That’s how you really level up from inside. Face your weakness head on. If someone calls you fat, flaunt it. Say, ‘So what? Yes, I eat, I haven’t seen a rib in many decades, but I’m happy. I got a lovely husband, nice house, nice car.’
Instead of being a victim about it, empower yourself with it. Your flaw can be your power. It can be your power if you take it and embrace it and stop focusing on it as an insecurity. The more you focus on something as an insecurity, the more other people will focus on it because they know it’s your weakness and that’s how you get affected. Whatever your flaw is, turn it into something that can give you more than it can take from you. If people say it’s a flaw, take it and turn it into a power.”
~~
Don’t listen to what people say; what do you think? Opposition creates interest.
~~
· Be extra feminine in the way you dress, speak, act.
· Be charming - smile, don't argue (and then do exactly what you were going to do anyway).
· Ask for help from your man - opening a jar, lifting something, reaching up high, anything - they love it. Do this three times a day. Say things like 'It's too heavy for me'. Doing this makes them feel protective of you.
· When you are offered help, accept it.
· Talk to men in a feminine baby-voice.
· Practice being feminine and flirty every day to men everywhere so that it becomes second nature. Things such as asking a man for assistance at the supermarket and smiling and saying thank you in a feminine voice.
· Use your feminine charm on everyone around you.
· Look your best, put on makeup every day, smell good, be well groomed, have nice nails.
· Speak to him as if he's a person and not a child - don't try to control him. Mothers control their children and men don't want to have sex with their mother.
· Ask for what you want, but do it in a feminine way.
· Act like the prize to be the prize.
· Be unpredictable - men will get bored of you if you are too predictable. If you are unpredictable it is exciting to them plus scares them a little too. They will wonder why you are different.
· Don't talk so much.
· Mirror how he acts to bring him closer. Say your man is a bit distant; my natural inclination is to wonder what is wrong, try and talk to him etc. That is clingy, a better way to behave is mirror that - be busy doing your own things, happy but busy and let him come looking for you when he comes out of his cave.
· Be feminine in everything you do - surround yourself with reminders of your femininity - i.e. a pink phone cover.
· Be the receiver not the giver.
· Let him think up ideas, with your subtle input.
· Hardly ever text or call him at work, unless you need him to pick up something.
· Dress up every day for no reason.
· Smile.
· Always be levelling up.
· Have a plan B.
· Don't tell him your plans for the day or where you have been - be a little mysterious and let him wonder what you've been up to.
· Keep the mystery alive with privacy - closet, bathroom etc.
· Don't do everything together.
· Have hobbies and interests of your own.
· Make him feel like a man by asking his advice, seeking help from him, not trying to tell him what to do etc.
· Keep up with new trends and the latest styles. Try new looks, buy new clothes, look cute.
· Make him feel younger by being fresh, new and exciting.
· Be excited by life and easily impressed.
· Go on vacation, go out to places.
· Do new things and turn him on to new things. Do new things in bed.
· Change your looks - look different, be different.
· Listen to the latest music.
· Keep up with the latest trends in things.
· Be an exciting adventure.
· Be happy go lucky, not a care in the world, everything is fun.
· Head up, chin up, look around, smile.
· Get all excited when you talk about little things.
· Light up when you talk to people.
· Bring a high energy.
· Wear your hair long and straight or smooth-wavy.
· Be seasonal - with your look/outfit, eating, décor.
· Reinvent yourself regularly.
· Play different characters for fun.
· Channel someone else when you go out.
· Be constantly changing and improving.
· Be a lively woman - bubbly, happy, exciting, smiling, lifts their spirits, fun to be around.
· Grab his hand and pull him along like a child.
· Be energetic and breathe life into others.
· Mirror his body language about 10-30 seconds later.
· Try new things, new looks.
· Practice your charm on waiters etc.
· Be a people watcher in different environments depending on the lifestyle you desire.
· Look from the outside in - how do people view you? How attractive are you?
· Transform yourself.
· Be his ultimate fantasy girl.
· Look good, do your makeup every day.
· Speak to your him as if he is a person and not a child.
· ‘Can you help me/lift that/get me a blanket?’ in a baby voice. Get him used to looking after you. ‘This is too heavy for me, I can’t reach it’. Do this three times a day minimum.
· Ask for what you want in a feminine way.
· Use the baby voice.
· Be extra feminine.
· Be charming – smile, don’t argue – agree (but do exactly what you want anyway).
· Ask for help from men.
· When you are offered anything, accept it.
· Talk to men in a feminine nature.
· Practice being feminine and flirty every do so that it becomes second nature to you – it will become easier with practice.
· Ask questions and smile.
· Play a bit dumb (not stupid; request their knowledge).
· Use your feminine charm on everyone around you – practice on any man to get better.
· Never get too comfortable (don’t let yourself go).
· Keep the illusion going – makeup, hair, lotion, fragrance.
· Look like you did when you first met (me: 66-67kg, long blonde hair, stylish clothes).
· Men are visual creatures and your hair is foremost – long, silky and straight.
· Have your makeup on, look cute.
· Shera’s husband treated her differently when she gained weight and then lost weight.
· Shera’s advice to a lady who gained 40 pounds and now her husband isn’t attracted to her: ‘Lose 40 pounds’.
· Still look sexy even if you’ve been together a while.
· Exfoliate your face and body.
· Have glowing, moisturised skin.
· Use highlighter on your face.
· Wear perfume, body lotion, nicely scented products.
· Wear red lipstick, eye makeup.
· Wear light, modern perfumes.
· Have simple, nice nails.
· Tell him that whatever you want is your ‘ultimate fantasy’.
~~
If you want to be married to a rich man, dress like a rich man’s wife.
~~
Be unbothered
It’s so amazing to just not care. You have no idea how much better your life gets when you stop caring. When you stop caring about stuff that’s not beneficial to you, everything blossoms, everything. Because your attention is no longer on anything negative, it’s all on you, and so you blossom.
How to keep your man chasing you? Be busy, don’t call him all the time. Have a hobby or a business and let him have to go looking for you.
~~
Did you ever feel insecure about your weight?
“No.
At any weight my mental game was tight, it was good. I could get anything I wanted, so it never really held me back. The only thing that would ever make me feel insecure about anything is… I really don’t have a lot of insecurities anymore. I had the normal insecurities of a child. But when I grew up and I understood that you could take your power from any situation, you no longer have insecurities.
If I was insecure about my weight, I wouldn’t be up here on YouTube, and if someone says something about how I look, I don’t care. I say Okay yeah and so what? I’m eating good, I’m living good. It doesn’t bother me, because that’s not what defines me. I’m gonna get paid skinny or fat. I’m gonna be happy at whatever makes me feel happiest. So it’s all about how you feel about yourself and how you value yourself. You don’t base your self-worth on what other people think about you.
And the reason why I teach people you gotta look good if you want to turn heads and make men cross the room is because if you are trying to get a date, yes, you have to be concerned with what other people find attractive. But that should not ever play a role in your own personal self-esteem.
Whatever you need to feel good at the time, tomorrow or today, that’s what you need to be doing.”
~~
2024.05.19 20:10 TA-aita-use-only AITA for blocking a coworker on facebook
I (22F) had my baby (1F) last year. At 21 weeks she had 2 heart defects, needed to be born 300 miles away at a specific hospital and would need heart surgery within 2 weeks.
I suffered a severe PPH, 2.2litres and my baby was taken to NICU without even getting to see her. The only photo from delivery has wires over her and a mask on her face. I couldn't hold her until the next day.
We spent 4 weeks hospital with emergency surgery at 1 week, keyhole surgery at 2 weeks followed by a stroke due to a complication. We were another week in the children's ward 100 miles from home.
We made weekly 200miles round trips for blood tests once home and were messed about a lot by varying consultants and doctors.
We were then told in October that the main surgery would be before Christmas
I was diagnosed with Postpartum Depression, and have suspected PTSD due to the trauma of everything. So lot of tough feelings and triggers especially relating to pregnancy/birth/newborns etc
A girl I work with (M) was pregnant. It was difficult hearing about her due to my high risk pregnancy and her having a healthy one and it escalated the further on she got and the more we dealt with. My mental health was deteriorating as everything came up e.g all the normal moments we missed and the surgeries and nicu etc
I removed M from Facebook but couldn't stop checking her page to see if she'd had her baby when it hit around her due date.
When I saw M had her baby I took an overdose of lorazpam and ended in A&E
I left my work group chat and blocked her on Facebook. Seeing her posts just brought up everything we'd suffered while she didn't have too and seeing her being happy she got her baby so many days early (mine was born at 39wks and had emergency surgery on her due date) and believing her baby gave her purpose. Meanwhile I had no connection, no feelings to my baby and struggled with thoughts of harming her due to my PPD.
A while later I got a message from my manager (S) who's also very good friends with this M . S said she'd had been over seeing M and M said she'd tried to find me on Facebook to message but couldn't and that if I needed anything to message her
S then told my mum (a seasonal member of staff who was off work at this time) that M was upset I'd removed her off Facebook and didn't understand what she'd done.
I hadn't spoken to M or S about it, M didn't know what she'd did but I just blocked her.
AITA for doing it?
Tl;Dr NICU baby needed surgery then constant issues afterwards lead to PPD and PTSD. Pregnancy/birth/newborns became a trigger due to our experiences and I had to block a coworker who just had her baby as it was too hard to see but she's upset about it.
submitted by TA-aita-use-only to AmItheAsshole [link] [comments]
I suffered a severe PPH, 2.2litres and my baby was taken to NICU without even getting to see her. The only photo from delivery has wires over her and a mask on her face. I couldn't hold her until the next day.
We spent 4 weeks hospital with emergency surgery at 1 week, keyhole surgery at 2 weeks followed by a stroke due to a complication. We were another week in the children's ward 100 miles from home.
We made weekly 200miles round trips for blood tests once home and were messed about a lot by varying consultants and doctors.
We were then told in October that the main surgery would be before Christmas
I was diagnosed with Postpartum Depression, and have suspected PTSD due to the trauma of everything. So lot of tough feelings and triggers especially relating to pregnancy/birth/newborns etc
A girl I work with (M) was pregnant. It was difficult hearing about her due to my high risk pregnancy and her having a healthy one and it escalated the further on she got and the more we dealt with. My mental health was deteriorating as everything came up e.g all the normal moments we missed and the surgeries and nicu etc
I removed M from Facebook but couldn't stop checking her page to see if she'd had her baby when it hit around her due date.
When I saw M had her baby I took an overdose of lorazpam and ended in A&E
I left my work group chat and blocked her on Facebook. Seeing her posts just brought up everything we'd suffered while she didn't have too and seeing her being happy she got her baby so many days early (mine was born at 39wks and had emergency surgery on her due date) and believing her baby gave her purpose. Meanwhile I had no connection, no feelings to my baby and struggled with thoughts of harming her due to my PPD.
A while later I got a message from my manager (S) who's also very good friends with this M . S said she'd had been over seeing M and M said she'd tried to find me on Facebook to message but couldn't and that if I needed anything to message her
S then told my mum (a seasonal member of staff who was off work at this time) that M was upset I'd removed her off Facebook and didn't understand what she'd done.
I hadn't spoken to M or S about it, M didn't know what she'd did but I just blocked her.
AITA for doing it?
Tl;Dr NICU baby needed surgery then constant issues afterwards lead to PPD and PTSD. Pregnancy/birth/newborns became a trigger due to our experiences and I had to block a coworker who just had her baby as it was too hard to see but she's upset about it.
2024.05.19 19:46 iskenzo looking for / buying..
 | submitted by iskenzo to RoyaleHigh_Trading [link] [comments] |
2024.05.19 19:22 BGodInspired How Does 1 Peter 2:24 Teach Us to Live By His Wounds?
https://bgodinspired.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/1716138745.png
Are you ready to experience the deep, transformative healing that comes from Jesus? Begin by praying, seeking His presence in your life, and immersing yourself in the Bible’s truth. Reach out to a community of faith for support, encouragement, and prayer. Let the healing power of Christ’s sacrifice rejuvenate your spirit, body, and mind today.
In closing, remember that by His wounds, we are healed. Step into the fullness of life that God has for you, embracing each day with the hope and wholeness found in Jesus Christ. Your journey of healing begins now.
If you want to want to research more Bible Answers on your own, please try our Bible Answers GPT. It’s easy to get lost in the interesting responses you’ll find… every search is like a new treasure hunt 🙂
Source =
submitted by BGodInspired to BGodInspired [link] [comments]
Unlocking the Promise of Healing in 1 Peter 2:24
Welcome to an uplifting journey through one of the most reassuring verses in the Bible, 1 Peter 2:24. This passage is not just a verse; it’s a gateway to understanding the depth of God’s promise of healing and redemption. Whether you’re searching for physical, emotional, or spiritual restoration, this exploration aims to bring light and hope to your path.Understanding the Power of 1 Peter 2:24
1 Peter 2:24 stands as a beacon of hope for many, stating: “He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed.” This powerful verse encapsulates the essence of the Gospel—Jesus Christ’s ultimate sacrifice for our sins not only grants us salvation but also heals us.- Sin’s Burden Lifted: Reflect on the profound truth that Jesus bore our sins, liberating us from their weight and offering us a new life free from the past’s chains.
- Healing Through His Wounds: Explore the miraculous exchange at the cross, where Jesus’ suffering brought us healing, comfort, and wholeness.
- Living to Righteousness: Embrace the call to live a life characterized by righteousness, inspired by the sacrifice that Jesus made for us.
Applying 1 Peter 2:24 to Our Lives
How can we embrace the profound truths of 1 Peter 2:24 in our everyday lives? It starts with understanding that healing is a multifaceted blessing, encompassing physical ailments, emotional wounds, and spiritual battles. Here’s how you can apply this transformative verse to your life:- Seek Spiritual Renewal: Let go of past sins and embrace the righteousness that comes through faith in Jesus Christ. Allow His sacrifice to transform and renew your spirit.
- Believe in Physical Healing: While we might not always understand God’s timing or will, trust in His promise that by Jesus’ wounds, we have been healed. Approach Him with faith for your physical healing.
- Find Emotional Wholeness: Jesus’ sacrifice covers every aspect of our being. Allow His peace to mend your heart and heal emotional scars, knowing you are fully loved and valued by Him.
A Call to Action: Embrace Healing and Wholeness Today
As we reflect on the powerful message of 1 Peter 2:24, let’s take a moment to thank God for the incredible gift of His Son, Jesus Christ. His love and sacrifice offer us healing, freedom, and a new life filled with righteousness. Whether you’re seeking physical healing, emotional mend, or spiritual renewal, remember that in Jesus, you have a source of strength and restoration.Are you ready to experience the deep, transformative healing that comes from Jesus? Begin by praying, seeking His presence in your life, and immersing yourself in the Bible’s truth. Reach out to a community of faith for support, encouragement, and prayer. Let the healing power of Christ’s sacrifice rejuvenate your spirit, body, and mind today.
In closing, remember that by His wounds, we are healed. Step into the fullness of life that God has for you, embracing each day with the hope and wholeness found in Jesus Christ. Your journey of healing begins now.
If you want to want to research more Bible Answers on your own, please try our Bible Answers GPT. It’s easy to get lost in the interesting responses you’ll find… every search is like a new treasure hunt 🙂
Source =
2024.05.19 19:13 Freeman_Alex [WTS] ⚜️⚜️⚜️Freeman Shipyard Store vol.4⚜️⚜️⚜️ OC LTI Ursa Medivac +Respite Paint $55 ⚜️OC LTI Pulse/LX +Dominion Paint $25 ⚜️Prowler to Hull D CCU $45 ⚜️Hull D to Orion CCU $50 ⚜️CHEAP WARBOND CCU ⚜️QuickSALE ⚜️Open24/7 ⚜️Good Prices&Trade History ⚜️Rare Paints ⚜️JUST WRITE ME
⚜️ Freeman Old Star Shipyard of Tortuga ⚜️
🔥 HOT SALE & SPECIAL OFFERS & Warbond CCU 🔥
| CCU - FROM | -> TO | Save $ | Warbond Bonus | Price |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Razor | Retaliator Base | - | - | $7 |
| Prowler | 600i BIS 2953 | 🔥 | +paint & poster | $40 |
| Hull D | Orion | $50 | 120m | $50 |
| Prowler | Hull D | $65 | - | $45 |
| Razor | SRV | $15 | - | $5 |
⚜️ ➤ If you want to buy something, SEND PM me or send me DM to AlexFreeman#8529 in Discord. ⚜️
My old store pages with trade history: vol.1, vol.2, vol.3
Tip: Use⚜️ ➤ I want to buy store credits ⚜️ I am waiting for your commercial offers
⚜️ ➤ REFERRAL SERVICE ⚜️
| Quantity | Price, $ |
|---|---|
| 1 referral | $-- |
| 5+ referral | $-- for each |
🔥Hot discounts🔥
⚜️ ➤ CONCIERGE PACKAGES:
| Item | Insurance | Includes | Price |
|---|---|---|---|
| UEE EXPLORATION 2948 PACK | LTI | SC+SQ42+VFG+20k | $800 |
| SCOUNDREL PACK | LTI | SC+SQ42+VFG+20k | $740 |
| ENTREPRENEUR PACK | LTI | SC+SQ42+VFG+20k | $640 |
⚜️ ➤ ORIGINAL CONCEPTS and Cross-Chassis Upgraded ships:
⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️
⛵CLICK HERE TO PLACE AN ORDER ⛵
⚜️ ➤ SHIP PAINTS:
⚜️ ➤ SUBSCRIBERS EXCLUSIVE SETS:
⚜️➤ SHIP UPGRADES - CROSS-CHASSIS UPGRADES (CCUs, upgrades), some upgrades can be chain in few steps CCU's:
| SHIP | TARGET SHIP | < | Upgrade from | Price |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 400I | ||||
| 400I | < | CONSTELLATION ANDROMEDA | $15 | |
| 600I EXPLORER | ||||
| 600I EXPLORER | < | PROWLER | $70 | |
| ARROW | ||||
| ARROW | < | AURORA MR | $50 | |
| ARROW | < | MUSTANG ALPHA | $50 | |
| ARROW | < | C8X PISCES EXPEDITION | $35 | |
| ARROW | < | 100i | $30 | |
| ARROW | < | AVENGER TITAN | $25 | |
| ARROW | < | RELIANT KORE | $15 | |
| CATERPILLAR BEST IN SHOW EDITION | ||||
| CATERPILLAR BISE | < | VANGUARD HARBINGER | $100 | |
| CORSAIR | ||||
| CORSAIR | < | TAURUS | $60 | |
| CRUCIBLE | ||||
| CRUCIBLE | < | STARFARER GEMINI | $21 | |
| CUTLASS BLACK BEST IN SHOW EDITION | ||||
| CUTLASS BLACK BISE | < | GLADIUS | $70 | |
| CUTLASS RED Subscriber | ||||
| CUTLASS RED Subscriber | < | F7C-S HORNET GHOST | $25 | |
| CUTLASS BLUE | ||||
| CUTLASS BLUE | < | PROSPECTOR | $30 | |
| DEFENDER | ||||
| DEFENDER | < | CORSAIR | $15 | |
| DEFENDER | < | HORNET F7C-M HEARTSEEKER | $37 | |
| GLADIUS | ||||
| GLADIUS | < | AURORA MR | $65 | |
| GLADIUS | < | MUSTANG ALPHA | $65 | |
| GLADIUS | < | C8X PISCES EXPEDITION | $50 | |
| GLADIUS | < | 100i | $45 | |
| GLADIUS | < | AVENGER TITAN | $40 | |
| GLADIUS | < | RELIANT KORE | $30 | |
| GLADIUS | < | ARROW | $20 | |
| HAMMERHEAD | ||||
| HAMMERHEAD | < | CARRACK | $150 | |
| HAMMERHEAD | < | CARRACK EXPEDITION W/C8X | $100 | |
| HULL C | ||||
| HULL C | < | CATERPILLAR | $175 | |
| MERCHANTMAN | ||||
| MERCHANTMAN | < | STARFARER GEMINI | $300 | |
| MERCHANTMAN | < | ARGO MOLE | $345 | |
| NAUTILUS | ||||
| NAUTILUS | < | CARRACK | $175 | |
| PERSEUS | ||||
| PERSEUS | < | CARRACK Expedition W/C8X | $40 | |
| PERSEUS | < | CARRACK | $90 | |
| PERSEUS | < | ORION | $115 | |
| PERSEUS | < | 600I EXPLORER | $220 | |
| PERSEUS | < | MERCHANTMAN | $248 | |
| PERSEUS | < | ARGO MOLE | $380 | |
| PERSEUS | < | ANDROMEDA | $485 | |
| POLARIS | ||||
| POLARIS | < | PERSEUS | $70 | |
| POLARIS | < | HAMMERHEAD | $70 | |
| POLARIS | < | NAUTILUS | $60 | |
| POLARIS | < | CARRACK | $250 | |
| RECLAIMER BIS 2949 | ||||
| RECLAIMER BIS 2949 | < | VALKYRIE | $300 | |
| SAN'TOK.YĀI | ||||
| SAN'TOK.YĀI | < | HORNET F7C-M HEARTSEEKER | $37 |
⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️
⛵CLICK HERE TO PLACE AN ORDER ⛵
2024.05.19 19:13 Chaoticsatire3 Help! Timeline of MIL toxicity. Can you relate? Advice needed. Intrusive, judgmental, overbearing MIL.
-My husband & I have been together for 8yr. Below is a timeline of my MIL issues starting when we first began dating, to now, several years married.
Before meeting my now-husbands mother, VERY early on in our relationship and before we were even official, his mother requested to follow me on all my social media accounts. I had not met her at the time and found it way too soon & creepy. Even at this point I got the initial feeling she was the type who forces levels of intimacy that she has not made the effort to genuinely attain.
-In the beginning I did make a concerted effort w/ his family. I quickly learned his Mother asks v. intrusive questions. It’s clear her questions aren’t genuine, but for the sole purpose of having ‘intel’. As if it’s ’information gathering’ for her benefit.
-The 2nd time meeting his mother she immediately asked me what year my parents got married. I told her I wasn’t sure & she began asking me if I knew what decade.. followed by questions re: my mom’s birthdate. Then she told me what she really wanted to know was my mom’s age (always an ulterior motive..). She was beyond giddy to discover she was younger than my mom. I told her my mom was slightly older than some of my peers mothers bc she had a daughter (my sister) before I was born who passed away and she had trouble conceiving afterwards. His mom didn’t react or respond to this as she was still so giddy to over the fact she was younger than my mom. Red flag..
-When my husband and I were first dating, he lived in a house w/ several guy friends. He was 26. Whenever we’d visit his family his mom would beg him to move back home so he could save money. I found this odd behavior for a mother wanting their son to grow & flourish as an adult.
-After a year & a half dating we decide to move in together. My future MIL pulls me to the side for a 1 on 1 conversation & tells me, “if things don’t work out, don't worry, there’s always a way to break a lease & get out of living together if things aren’t going well” (..why would things not go well…?). She continues on, quizzing me ab my prior relationships and how they ended. Before reverting back to the topic of me and her so moving in together, basically telling me she doesn’t approve.. conversation leaves me feeling unaccepted, awkward and gross. I immediately told my partner how uncomfortable this made me. He was upset and went to have a talk with her. In their conversation- she gaslights him, telling him she feels like she’s walking on eggshells w/ us & she did nothing wrong, we are so sensitive, how she doesn’t do anything right, etc.
-She begins incessantly planning get togethers with us, telling us she never gets to see us (when we visit 1-2x/month). We don’t even live in the same city. Not to mention we’re busy in our 20’s w/ friends & establishing our own lives. Every time she sees us she leads w/, ‘oh I’ve missed you sooo much. when did I see you last? Why has it been so long? I’m soooo happy to see you. (On & on, guilt trip behavior).
-Our first Christmas dating we spent w/ his family, the 2nd year w/ my family. When we told her we planned to spend the 2nd Christmas w/ my family, his mother had a huge outburst which I’d describe as frantic/triggered/unhinged. My husband and I were upset by her reaction and left shortly after. The following day I txted her we were upset she reacted to our plan that way, we spent the prior Christmas w/ them & it was our decision.. and that moving forward we’d be splitting holidays. She played it off, said: “I wasn’t upset at all if you thought that I really wasn’t! I don’t think I came off like that, sorry if you felt that way” then proceeded to change the subject. Once again gaslighting (this being the last time I confront her on my own. My husband handles from here on out).
-She begins asking where I buy all my clothes. Nonstop questions ab my material possessions. Then starts going out and buying the same items for herself.
-She starts constantly telling my husband on the phone how she never sees him, leaving him feeling guilty (he’s improved a lot on the guilt-front, since our early dating era). When we see his parents 1-2 times a month.. and live 2 hrs away.
-Around this time, If I stated an opinion ab something (as in I would bring a topic up on my own) she’d debate everything I’d say as if I wasn’t allowed to have my own opinion.
-Pulls me to the side of a party 1 on 1 & tells me in private ‘you’re so lucky to have my son, I just want you to know that you’re really lucky.. I hope you know it’ she wasn’t being nice when she said it.
-Around this time she tells us how my partners sister is so sad he has a gf (me), yet she doesn’t have a boyfriend. Triangulating her 2 children, w/ the goal of wanting her son to feel guilt for being happy and in a successful relationship.
-Husbands mom starts getting jealous when we go on family beach trips w/ my family. We go for a week every year. She makes disapproving comments to us/ is generally unhappy her son is enjoying vacations.
-She starts making comments to my partner ab how I’m so closed off and won’t open up to her (making me look bad while playing the victim) and crying to him about never seeing him and how he doesn’t make enough effort..
-Begins incessantly micromanaging my husband: texts him reminding him of this and that, tells him my (as in me…) birthday is X days away, to make sure to get me something, to get his sister something, reminding him he should ‘make plans with his dad soon or go see his dad soon’ or ‘have you called your sister recently? You need to call her it’s your job as a brother’
-Begins generally undermining how we live our lives and casting judgement on any and every decision we make unless we do exactly as she sees fit/what she believes is ‘the right way’. It feels like she believes we were put on this earth to obey her and there is only one way, her way. She does out of her way to show us she thinks she is smarter and more savvy than us, in this game of life.
-Around this time his sister who is only 2 years younger begins acting bratty- we give her furniture, tvs, clothing large items she says she wants and she is super ungrateful, complains about the items we give her, tells us they’re too heavy for her & that we need to carry it for her and put it In her house for her. Only calls or texts us when she needs something, wants advice, or wants to complain to us. Never any other times. It’s always all ab her.
-His sister then keeps our dog for us when we are out of town for a few days (which we were shocked she even agreed to since isn’t exactly supportive or helpful). We stocked the fridge w/ 7-8 bottles of wine for her and made our home lovely/ special for her stay. Her new boyfriend even came to stay at our home with her (they both have roommates so this was also an opportunity for the 2 of them to be alone together). After our trip we were over the top grateful, thanking her many times. She then pitched a fit to my now husband telling him we bought her cheap Trader Joe’s wine and she can’t believe we didn’t bring her back a tshirt from our trip or pay her money for the sacrifice she made, complaining on and on while yelling at him. I would personally never keep my siblings/family members pets for them and expect payment. I would however pay a friend.
-My partner and I get engaged and his mom/sister begin trying to force get togethers, my husband sister starts asking me to go to workout classes with her, painting classes, massages, etc.. which is v. out of character for her. It continues & becomes apparent this is happening only bc I’m now engaged to her brother. It feels disgenuine as she never made these efforts in the 5 years before we were engaged…
-My bridesmaids are my closest, nearest dearest friends who I’ve known for 10+ years. My husband’s sister cried when she found out she wasn’t a bridesmaid and started calling my husband weekly crying / begging him to be a bridesmaid. Then my MIL starts calling, telling him how disappointed she is. He tells his mother, I’m not sure why she’d expect to be a bridesmaid, she’s never made an effort, they aren’t close, she gets to select her closest friends to stand by her side. This has nothing to do with not liking or leaving anyone out on purpose. His mom cries, repeats how deeply disappointed she is, how wrong this is, etc. My husband tells his mother he plans to ask his dad to be his best man. Disclaimer: neither of my brothers were by husbands groomsmen, they couldn’t have cared less…
-My husband asks his father to be his best man. His father declines and says ‘no, not unless your sister can be a bridesmaid’………………….
-My MIL creates her own wedding hotel block for her friends and family, sending out a mass email to them. This is outside of the 4 hotel blocks we already have on our wedding website.
-I start hearing my MIL is saying to friends/family, ‘As long as my son is happy that’s all I care about, I just really hope that he is. All I can do is hope’ and telling people how devastated she is that her daughter isn’t a bridesmaid and how messed up and wrong it is and how weddings are a family celebration for the family. No one ever confronts me once about the bridesmaid situation.
-My husband ends up telling his mother to never mention the bridesmaid topic again, how he won’t tolerate it and is done hearing about it.
-We ask my SIL to give a reading at our wedding. Her response: ‘if I have to’. She is a pill our entire wedding, in almost every photo she is scowling.
-When we receive our wedding photos & upload online, my SIL/MIL text and ask me where all the photos of them are (there were plenty…). I told them I uploaded every photo our photographer sent. They told me this wasn’t true, were extremely disrespectful to me, basically told me I was lying when I wasn’t. I uploaded every single one. I even reached out to my photographer to ask if she’s deleted any of the photos before sending…
-My husband & I got into a disagreement with my SIL where we had a huge argument resulting in a 6 month period of no contact. This arises after we confronted her, calmly & maturely about an issue we had to which she cussed us out and called me every terrible curse word you can imagine. My husband was livid- told her she would not talk to/ab me that way & how childish she was behaving, how we should be able to confront her when we are upset about something she’s done, etc. After several months of no contact w/ my SIL, my MIL begins calling my husband saying: you ‘will/must’ resolve things w/ your sister. He says no & it’s not her business. My husbands father then calls him, clearly deployed by MIL (as he’s very chill/no-drama). The situation becomes even more stressful due to my MIL pressuring my husband re: a topic that doesn’t involve her. I too become stressed, seeing my in laws trying to control him. My in laws then have my SIL’s bf text my Husband saying, ‘I really hate seeing this for the family I want everyone to be ok’ (although once has my SIL attempted to reach out & apologize for calling me a bit** cu**, etc). When his attempt doesn’t work on my husband, my MIL then sends my husband & me a joint text message ab How she wouldn’t be intervening if her daughter could handle this on her own & how we need to fix it. My husband responds & tells his mom off, essentially saying: This isn’t your business. My wife is owed an apology, you guys also have never apologized for how horribly you treated us during our wedding.. the happiest time of our lives, a day we get to have exactly how WE want. My sister can handle her own problems she’s an adult, shes never going to learn bc you meddle in every problem she has bc you want things your way. Then when you don’t get what you want, you get everyone to do your dirty work for you in hopes you can bulldoze & get your way. You make everything ab you, what you want, when & how you want it. Those days are over (this is a summary of his response).
(hmm wonder why my SIL doesn’t know how to handle adversity, bc you handle everything for her even though she is an adult)
-SIL reaches out to my husband and says she wants to talk. He says no, you treated my wife poorly. You will reach out and apologize to her, not me. You won’t disrespect my wife. And she does do this although it takes her a week or so. And it did seem genuine.
-I think this all stems from drama my MIL creates, and when things don’t go her way she pulls others in to manipulate them & do her dirty work for her.
-husband and I lived 2 hours from his parents. We end up moving 10 hours away to create distance from his family. They disapprove and generally disapprove of any and every decision we make, as they don’t act with love and support our decisions as loving parents would.
-In laws announce they are starting an annual family vacation…to the private beach MY family has vacationed at since I was born (it’s not a mainstream location…it’s rather obscure). My in laws have never even been there before. I tell my husband I absolutely refuse to go & will not enable the intrusive/copying behavior.
-My husband & I take a trip just 2 of us. We stay in an airbnb. 3 months later his parents tell us they planned a trip to the same location for the 2 of them & they’d also found & booked the exact same airbnb we stayed at so they could experience the same exact trip my husband & I went on….
-Additional overstepping, intrusive, creepy behavior like above persists. They start buying many of the same exact material items, or furniture we own (obscure antiques, designer items, etc….), essentially copying everything we do. We want our own unique & individual things that make us, US. & it seems as if demand to show us they won’t allow us to have that for ourselves under and circumstance. Almost as if they aren’t entitled full access to our lives, so they will bulldoze and access our lives in their own ways to make them feel in control. This is my take.
-There’s no major animosity now but we have majorly pulled away from them. My husband calls his parents once a month or so. We now see them 3-4 times a year.
-Things will be nice & relaxing for a month or 2 then out of the blue my MIL will blow up out of nowhere calling my husband 8x in a row telling him he will speak to his mother he will do this and that. Often he simply ignores her or waits several days to respond. She likes to tell him ‘you need to call your father and speak with him’ ‘hey it’s dads birthday make sure do this and that’ (obviously we know when their birthdays are… we are pretty on top of things, still she cannot stand not being in control).
-MIL just flipped out on my husband for not calling her on Mother’s Day, though we send a gift, card, and send multiple texts first thing in the morning. My husband received multiple messages from his dad : why have you not called your mother??? Did you forget? Call your mother now. We’re skeptical the texts were actually from his dad..
-Although we’ve distanced ourselves, the every 2 mnth outbursts are exhausting. I am now 6 weeks pregnant. So excited! BUT Dreading telling them as I envision MIL & SIL making it all about them, freaking out ab how we aren’t involving them enough.. I imagine my MIL starting to disgeuninely call/text me constantly, demand to be involved at the level she expects & believes she deserves, will probably buy high chairs, cribs, etc for her own home.. and make it about her In any way possible.
Any advice on how to deal with a woman like this? I feel like I have to constantly prepare for her actions, outbursts, or things she might say. She’s draining, the pressure she puts on my husband is absurd, her expectations are outrageous, she’s judgmental and controlling, everything is about her, and she is emotionally immature in every way. I feel protective over my husband and our marriage and can’t stand them constant trying to order him around with their high expectations and demands. Help!
submitted by Chaoticsatire3 to JUSTNOMIL [link] [comments]
Before meeting my now-husbands mother, VERY early on in our relationship and before we were even official, his mother requested to follow me on all my social media accounts. I had not met her at the time and found it way too soon & creepy. Even at this point I got the initial feeling she was the type who forces levels of intimacy that she has not made the effort to genuinely attain.
-In the beginning I did make a concerted effort w/ his family. I quickly learned his Mother asks v. intrusive questions. It’s clear her questions aren’t genuine, but for the sole purpose of having ‘intel’. As if it’s ’information gathering’ for her benefit.
-The 2nd time meeting his mother she immediately asked me what year my parents got married. I told her I wasn’t sure & she began asking me if I knew what decade.. followed by questions re: my mom’s birthdate. Then she told me what she really wanted to know was my mom’s age (always an ulterior motive..). She was beyond giddy to discover she was younger than my mom. I told her my mom was slightly older than some of my peers mothers bc she had a daughter (my sister) before I was born who passed away and she had trouble conceiving afterwards. His mom didn’t react or respond to this as she was still so giddy to over the fact she was younger than my mom. Red flag..
-When my husband and I were first dating, he lived in a house w/ several guy friends. He was 26. Whenever we’d visit his family his mom would beg him to move back home so he could save money. I found this odd behavior for a mother wanting their son to grow & flourish as an adult.
-After a year & a half dating we decide to move in together. My future MIL pulls me to the side for a 1 on 1 conversation & tells me, “if things don’t work out, don't worry, there’s always a way to break a lease & get out of living together if things aren’t going well” (..why would things not go well…?). She continues on, quizzing me ab my prior relationships and how they ended. Before reverting back to the topic of me and her so moving in together, basically telling me she doesn’t approve.. conversation leaves me feeling unaccepted, awkward and gross. I immediately told my partner how uncomfortable this made me. He was upset and went to have a talk with her. In their conversation- she gaslights him, telling him she feels like she’s walking on eggshells w/ us & she did nothing wrong, we are so sensitive, how she doesn’t do anything right, etc.
-She begins incessantly planning get togethers with us, telling us she never gets to see us (when we visit 1-2x/month). We don’t even live in the same city. Not to mention we’re busy in our 20’s w/ friends & establishing our own lives. Every time she sees us she leads w/, ‘oh I’ve missed you sooo much. when did I see you last? Why has it been so long? I’m soooo happy to see you. (On & on, guilt trip behavior).
-Our first Christmas dating we spent w/ his family, the 2nd year w/ my family. When we told her we planned to spend the 2nd Christmas w/ my family, his mother had a huge outburst which I’d describe as frantic/triggered/unhinged. My husband and I were upset by her reaction and left shortly after. The following day I txted her we were upset she reacted to our plan that way, we spent the prior Christmas w/ them & it was our decision.. and that moving forward we’d be splitting holidays. She played it off, said: “I wasn’t upset at all if you thought that I really wasn’t! I don’t think I came off like that, sorry if you felt that way” then proceeded to change the subject. Once again gaslighting (this being the last time I confront her on my own. My husband handles from here on out).
-She begins asking where I buy all my clothes. Nonstop questions ab my material possessions. Then starts going out and buying the same items for herself.
-She starts constantly telling my husband on the phone how she never sees him, leaving him feeling guilty (he’s improved a lot on the guilt-front, since our early dating era). When we see his parents 1-2 times a month.. and live 2 hrs away.
-Around this time, If I stated an opinion ab something (as in I would bring a topic up on my own) she’d debate everything I’d say as if I wasn’t allowed to have my own opinion.
-Pulls me to the side of a party 1 on 1 & tells me in private ‘you’re so lucky to have my son, I just want you to know that you’re really lucky.. I hope you know it’ she wasn’t being nice when she said it.
-Around this time she tells us how my partners sister is so sad he has a gf (me), yet she doesn’t have a boyfriend. Triangulating her 2 children, w/ the goal of wanting her son to feel guilt for being happy and in a successful relationship.
-Husbands mom starts getting jealous when we go on family beach trips w/ my family. We go for a week every year. She makes disapproving comments to us/ is generally unhappy her son is enjoying vacations.
-She starts making comments to my partner ab how I’m so closed off and won’t open up to her (making me look bad while playing the victim) and crying to him about never seeing him and how he doesn’t make enough effort..
-Begins incessantly micromanaging my husband: texts him reminding him of this and that, tells him my (as in me…) birthday is X days away, to make sure to get me something, to get his sister something, reminding him he should ‘make plans with his dad soon or go see his dad soon’ or ‘have you called your sister recently? You need to call her it’s your job as a brother’
-Begins generally undermining how we live our lives and casting judgement on any and every decision we make unless we do exactly as she sees fit/what she believes is ‘the right way’. It feels like she believes we were put on this earth to obey her and there is only one way, her way. She does out of her way to show us she thinks she is smarter and more savvy than us, in this game of life.
-Around this time his sister who is only 2 years younger begins acting bratty- we give her furniture, tvs, clothing large items she says she wants and she is super ungrateful, complains about the items we give her, tells us they’re too heavy for her & that we need to carry it for her and put it In her house for her. Only calls or texts us when she needs something, wants advice, or wants to complain to us. Never any other times. It’s always all ab her.
-His sister then keeps our dog for us when we are out of town for a few days (which we were shocked she even agreed to since isn’t exactly supportive or helpful). We stocked the fridge w/ 7-8 bottles of wine for her and made our home lovely/ special for her stay. Her new boyfriend even came to stay at our home with her (they both have roommates so this was also an opportunity for the 2 of them to be alone together). After our trip we were over the top grateful, thanking her many times. She then pitched a fit to my now husband telling him we bought her cheap Trader Joe’s wine and she can’t believe we didn’t bring her back a tshirt from our trip or pay her money for the sacrifice she made, complaining on and on while yelling at him. I would personally never keep my siblings/family members pets for them and expect payment. I would however pay a friend.
-My partner and I get engaged and his mom/sister begin trying to force get togethers, my husband sister starts asking me to go to workout classes with her, painting classes, massages, etc.. which is v. out of character for her. It continues & becomes apparent this is happening only bc I’m now engaged to her brother. It feels disgenuine as she never made these efforts in the 5 years before we were engaged…
-My bridesmaids are my closest, nearest dearest friends who I’ve known for 10+ years. My husband’s sister cried when she found out she wasn’t a bridesmaid and started calling my husband weekly crying / begging him to be a bridesmaid. Then my MIL starts calling, telling him how disappointed she is. He tells his mother, I’m not sure why she’d expect to be a bridesmaid, she’s never made an effort, they aren’t close, she gets to select her closest friends to stand by her side. This has nothing to do with not liking or leaving anyone out on purpose. His mom cries, repeats how deeply disappointed she is, how wrong this is, etc. My husband tells his mother he plans to ask his dad to be his best man. Disclaimer: neither of my brothers were by husbands groomsmen, they couldn’t have cared less…
-My husband asks his father to be his best man. His father declines and says ‘no, not unless your sister can be a bridesmaid’………………….
-My MIL creates her own wedding hotel block for her friends and family, sending out a mass email to them. This is outside of the 4 hotel blocks we already have on our wedding website.
-I start hearing my MIL is saying to friends/family, ‘As long as my son is happy that’s all I care about, I just really hope that he is. All I can do is hope’ and telling people how devastated she is that her daughter isn’t a bridesmaid and how messed up and wrong it is and how weddings are a family celebration for the family. No one ever confronts me once about the bridesmaid situation.
-My husband ends up telling his mother to never mention the bridesmaid topic again, how he won’t tolerate it and is done hearing about it.
-We ask my SIL to give a reading at our wedding. Her response: ‘if I have to’. She is a pill our entire wedding, in almost every photo she is scowling.
-When we receive our wedding photos & upload online, my SIL/MIL text and ask me where all the photos of them are (there were plenty…). I told them I uploaded every photo our photographer sent. They told me this wasn’t true, were extremely disrespectful to me, basically told me I was lying when I wasn’t. I uploaded every single one. I even reached out to my photographer to ask if she’s deleted any of the photos before sending…
-My husband & I got into a disagreement with my SIL where we had a huge argument resulting in a 6 month period of no contact. This arises after we confronted her, calmly & maturely about an issue we had to which she cussed us out and called me every terrible curse word you can imagine. My husband was livid- told her she would not talk to/ab me that way & how childish she was behaving, how we should be able to confront her when we are upset about something she’s done, etc. After several months of no contact w/ my SIL, my MIL begins calling my husband saying: you ‘will/must’ resolve things w/ your sister. He says no & it’s not her business. My husbands father then calls him, clearly deployed by MIL (as he’s very chill/no-drama). The situation becomes even more stressful due to my MIL pressuring my husband re: a topic that doesn’t involve her. I too become stressed, seeing my in laws trying to control him. My in laws then have my SIL’s bf text my Husband saying, ‘I really hate seeing this for the family I want everyone to be ok’ (although once has my SIL attempted to reach out & apologize for calling me a bit** cu**, etc). When his attempt doesn’t work on my husband, my MIL then sends my husband & me a joint text message ab How she wouldn’t be intervening if her daughter could handle this on her own & how we need to fix it. My husband responds & tells his mom off, essentially saying: This isn’t your business. My wife is owed an apology, you guys also have never apologized for how horribly you treated us during our wedding.. the happiest time of our lives, a day we get to have exactly how WE want. My sister can handle her own problems she’s an adult, shes never going to learn bc you meddle in every problem she has bc you want things your way. Then when you don’t get what you want, you get everyone to do your dirty work for you in hopes you can bulldoze & get your way. You make everything ab you, what you want, when & how you want it. Those days are over (this is a summary of his response).
(hmm wonder why my SIL doesn’t know how to handle adversity, bc you handle everything for her even though she is an adult)
-SIL reaches out to my husband and says she wants to talk. He says no, you treated my wife poorly. You will reach out and apologize to her, not me. You won’t disrespect my wife. And she does do this although it takes her a week or so. And it did seem genuine.
-I think this all stems from drama my MIL creates, and when things don’t go her way she pulls others in to manipulate them & do her dirty work for her.
-husband and I lived 2 hours from his parents. We end up moving 10 hours away to create distance from his family. They disapprove and generally disapprove of any and every decision we make, as they don’t act with love and support our decisions as loving parents would.
-In laws announce they are starting an annual family vacation…to the private beach MY family has vacationed at since I was born (it’s not a mainstream location…it’s rather obscure). My in laws have never even been there before. I tell my husband I absolutely refuse to go & will not enable the intrusive/copying behavior.
-My husband & I take a trip just 2 of us. We stay in an airbnb. 3 months later his parents tell us they planned a trip to the same location for the 2 of them & they’d also found & booked the exact same airbnb we stayed at so they could experience the same exact trip my husband & I went on….
-Additional overstepping, intrusive, creepy behavior like above persists. They start buying many of the same exact material items, or furniture we own (obscure antiques, designer items, etc….), essentially copying everything we do. We want our own unique & individual things that make us, US. & it seems as if demand to show us they won’t allow us to have that for ourselves under and circumstance. Almost as if they aren’t entitled full access to our lives, so they will bulldoze and access our lives in their own ways to make them feel in control. This is my take.
-There’s no major animosity now but we have majorly pulled away from them. My husband calls his parents once a month or so. We now see them 3-4 times a year.
-Things will be nice & relaxing for a month or 2 then out of the blue my MIL will blow up out of nowhere calling my husband 8x in a row telling him he will speak to his mother he will do this and that. Often he simply ignores her or waits several days to respond. She likes to tell him ‘you need to call your father and speak with him’ ‘hey it’s dads birthday make sure do this and that’ (obviously we know when their birthdays are… we are pretty on top of things, still she cannot stand not being in control).
-MIL just flipped out on my husband for not calling her on Mother’s Day, though we send a gift, card, and send multiple texts first thing in the morning. My husband received multiple messages from his dad : why have you not called your mother??? Did you forget? Call your mother now. We’re skeptical the texts were actually from his dad..
-Although we’ve distanced ourselves, the every 2 mnth outbursts are exhausting. I am now 6 weeks pregnant. So excited! BUT Dreading telling them as I envision MIL & SIL making it all about them, freaking out ab how we aren’t involving them enough.. I imagine my MIL starting to disgeuninely call/text me constantly, demand to be involved at the level she expects & believes she deserves, will probably buy high chairs, cribs, etc for her own home.. and make it about her In any way possible.
Any advice on how to deal with a woman like this? I feel like I have to constantly prepare for her actions, outbursts, or things she might say. She’s draining, the pressure she puts on my husband is absurd, her expectations are outrageous, she’s judgmental and controlling, everything is about her, and she is emotionally immature in every way. I feel protective over my husband and our marriage and can’t stand them constant trying to order him around with their high expectations and demands. Help!
2024.05.19 18:42 adulting4kids One Sentence Story Genre Specific Prompts
- Fantasy:
- "The magical amulet shimmered in the moonlight, revealing its dormant powers to the chosen one."
- Science Fiction:
- "The time traveler arrived in a future where humanity faced extinction and only memories remained."
- Mystery:
- "The cryptic message etched onto the ancient statue pointed towards a hidden treasure."
- Romance:
- "Their love story began with a handwritten note found in a secondhand bookstore."
- Horror:
- "The eerie carnival arrived in town, bringing with it a sinister clown no one could forget."
- Historical Fiction:
- "The faded photograph discovered in an attic unveiled a family secret dating back centuries."
- Thriller:
- "The sudden blackout plunged the city into chaos, triggering a chain of unsettling events."
- Adventure:
- "A mysterious island appeared on the horizon, beckoning adventurers with promises of treasure."
- Dystopian:
- "In a world where emotions were forbidden, a rebellion ignited by an act of love began."
- Comedy:
- "The case of mistaken identity led to a series of uproarious misadventures at a high-society ball."
2024.05.19 18:38 Spiritual_Wedding_97 This might be a long one but hear me out… (ADVICE NEEDED)
Ok, hi guys, I just needed someone else opinion on this because I’ve been driving myself insane going through every possibility.
I have this friend I met her through work and she’s about 20 odd years older than me. I’m late 20s. We’ve worked together for quite sometime and through that time we build this awesome friendship. Like really great, she’s so lovely genuine. I don’t see her as an older woman. she’s so down to earth sweet, and would do anything for anybody. We always laughed until we cried. And always listened to one another.
One time about 5 years ago we kissed at a Christmas party. Didn’t meant much then just put it down to a drunken thing as we was both wrecked. But then overtime I started developing these feelings for her. I didn’t tell her because I didn’t want to ruin our friendship. But then when she was drunk one night messaged me and said she loved kissing my lips and wanted to do it again.. then quick text back like she wasn’t sure if she meant that. So I just said I didn’t want to ruin the friendship. Anyway.. as the years have gone on. She’s been there for me through a lot of shit I had going on a year or so ago. Like legit she was my rock. The way she always tells me she loves me and would do anything for me she has proven that. But it’s the way she compliments me all the time. Telling how great I am and I’m the best person she’s ever met and I’m sweet and funny loveable beautiful all that jazz. It’s hard not to love this woman. Or have somewhat feelings for her. Anyway. We’ve spoken on the phone when we’ve both had a drink and she’s telling me what she wants to do to me, and visa versa but come the Monday when we see each other at work she said it just drink talk. I laughed and said no worries. We’ve been out to the pub together and again we’ve ended up kissing and this time a lot more touching involved. Unfortunately last year I had to move to another building for work because of circumstances at home. The way this woman was so upset to see me go. She was genuinely heartbroken. The weeks coming up to me leaving she wouldn’t talk about because she didn’t want to face the fact I would be leaving. That day comes and it was horrible. It felt like I was leaving her forever which wasn’t the case. We both cried and cuddled each other. I held her hand and said it wasn’t going to be forever, that I would be back. But 17 months is a long time. That night we needed up going to the pub again we was drunk and by the end of the night we ended up kissing. We always just put it down to the drink because we don’t do this when we are sober. Few months into my new job, and we spoke on the phone and she admits that she loves me in all ways (whatever that means) and that she wants to have a passionate night with me. She was drunk but I wasn’t so I didn’t elaborate further. Again when we see each other next. We didn’t really speak about what she said. Anyway, we were both drunk but not together and we text dirty things to each other, and she kept saying it’s my age that’s the problem. (I’m nearly 30) which I totally get, but I need to add that I think she was bi curious she has only ever been with and had relationship with men but has openly admitted to me that she loves women porn. And loves the woman body.
We go out for our work Xmas do and I booked a room that night. She came back with me and we went full on lesbian shit. She did things to me, but wouldn’t let me do things to her, (she’s self conscious anyway) so I think that might have been the reason why she didn’t let me. But oh my god. I have never felt so excited and alive in all my life. This woman makes me happy and I love her dearly. I think about her all the time. And would do anything for her. And visa versa. I’m just confused.shes told me when she’s dropped me off to my mates over the phone when she’s had a drink tat she wanted to kiss me but was scared. And has also admitted she’s confused..
When I asked her how she feels when she’s sober about me. She told me she loves me dearly and thinks I am sexually attractive but she’s not in love with me. She only loves me as a dear friend. But I think she’s in denial to herself and doesn’t want to admit she’s got feelings for someone a lot younger than her. But I could be reading this all wrong, I want to talk to her again when she’s sober and try and address this but not make her feel awkward or uncomfortable.
how would you guys take this? And thank you, for listening to me.
submitted by Spiritual_Wedding_97 to BiWomen [link] [comments]
I have this friend I met her through work and she’s about 20 odd years older than me. I’m late 20s. We’ve worked together for quite sometime and through that time we build this awesome friendship. Like really great, she’s so lovely genuine. I don’t see her as an older woman. she’s so down to earth sweet, and would do anything for anybody. We always laughed until we cried. And always listened to one another.
One time about 5 years ago we kissed at a Christmas party. Didn’t meant much then just put it down to a drunken thing as we was both wrecked. But then overtime I started developing these feelings for her. I didn’t tell her because I didn’t want to ruin our friendship. But then when she was drunk one night messaged me and said she loved kissing my lips and wanted to do it again.. then quick text back like she wasn’t sure if she meant that. So I just said I didn’t want to ruin the friendship. Anyway.. as the years have gone on. She’s been there for me through a lot of shit I had going on a year or so ago. Like legit she was my rock. The way she always tells me she loves me and would do anything for me she has proven that. But it’s the way she compliments me all the time. Telling how great I am and I’m the best person she’s ever met and I’m sweet and funny loveable beautiful all that jazz. It’s hard not to love this woman. Or have somewhat feelings for her. Anyway. We’ve spoken on the phone when we’ve both had a drink and she’s telling me what she wants to do to me, and visa versa but come the Monday when we see each other at work she said it just drink talk. I laughed and said no worries. We’ve been out to the pub together and again we’ve ended up kissing and this time a lot more touching involved. Unfortunately last year I had to move to another building for work because of circumstances at home. The way this woman was so upset to see me go. She was genuinely heartbroken. The weeks coming up to me leaving she wouldn’t talk about because she didn’t want to face the fact I would be leaving. That day comes and it was horrible. It felt like I was leaving her forever which wasn’t the case. We both cried and cuddled each other. I held her hand and said it wasn’t going to be forever, that I would be back. But 17 months is a long time. That night we needed up going to the pub again we was drunk and by the end of the night we ended up kissing. We always just put it down to the drink because we don’t do this when we are sober. Few months into my new job, and we spoke on the phone and she admits that she loves me in all ways (whatever that means) and that she wants to have a passionate night with me. She was drunk but I wasn’t so I didn’t elaborate further. Again when we see each other next. We didn’t really speak about what she said. Anyway, we were both drunk but not together and we text dirty things to each other, and she kept saying it’s my age that’s the problem. (I’m nearly 30) which I totally get, but I need to add that I think she was bi curious she has only ever been with and had relationship with men but has openly admitted to me that she loves women porn. And loves the woman body.
We go out for our work Xmas do and I booked a room that night. She came back with me and we went full on lesbian shit. She did things to me, but wouldn’t let me do things to her, (she’s self conscious anyway) so I think that might have been the reason why she didn’t let me. But oh my god. I have never felt so excited and alive in all my life. This woman makes me happy and I love her dearly. I think about her all the time. And would do anything for her. And visa versa. I’m just confused.shes told me when she’s dropped me off to my mates over the phone when she’s had a drink tat she wanted to kiss me but was scared. And has also admitted she’s confused..
When I asked her how she feels when she’s sober about me. She told me she loves me dearly and thinks I am sexually attractive but she’s not in love with me. She only loves me as a dear friend. But I think she’s in denial to herself and doesn’t want to admit she’s got feelings for someone a lot younger than her. But I could be reading this all wrong, I want to talk to her again when she’s sober and try and address this but not make her feel awkward or uncomfortable.
how would you guys take this? And thank you, for listening to me.
2024.05.19 18:29 AdvancedApartment705 AITA for wanting to cut contact with my daughter's father?
AITA
This is gonna be probably pretty long and all over the place but I'll try and keep it straight and to the point.
So I have a daughter. She is 11 almost 12. For the first 9+ years of her life her dad had not been involved. ( She was a fortune product of a one night stand) When he showed up almost two years ago it was with some fabricated story that a child support case worker alienated him and threatened him with harassment if he pursued a relationship with his daughter. I did try to reach out a couple times when she was younger trying to encourage a relationship between them and all attempts went ignored. He says this is because he was afraid I was setting him up. Well up until this past December I took him at his word. He was semi involved until that point. In December he met a woman and all contact stopped minus a few check ins and multiple inappropriate messages to me considering he was in a relationship. Each time this happened I would lay a boundary. During one of these contacts he promised he'd send his child support and $100 for Christmas/Birthday gift for her. That did not happen. He instead sent me a dirty video saying he "hoped that made up for it" 🤮🤮🤮 at this point I lost my iiisssshhhhh on him and told him essentially he was in a relationship and needed to knock it off. I didn't want to see that and it was disrespectful to me and his partner.
He moved in with this partner within a month of meeting her. Red flag right?
Before he met her I was trying to help him find an apartment locally as he lives 200 miles away. I absolutely advocated for him to have a relationship with his daughter from the second he showed up because I've never been the type to keep my children from their father unless it was for good reason. He was supposed to get her a phone and pay for it so they could maintain contact. Never happened. I supplied the phone and the service and it was silent.
After he had sent me that video I had put him on restricted on FB so I didn't get any messages from him. I finally get a call from him on Valentine's day apologizing for his behavior and letting me know he was sending some child support that day.
Then at some point in March he reaches out again saying he was no longer with this girl and he was sorry for his absence and he'd do better. The following week our daughter's phone caught fire and I let him know (not that he was contacting her anyways). The next day he said his cousin had gifted him a phone and he wanted to send it to our daughter. Cool. Let's do it. Then he texts a few days later saying he would be in a town 45 miles south of me and could I meet him and said girlfriend to receive the phone and bring our daughter so he could see her. (At this point the last I knew him and chick had broken up). I said no thanks you can drop it in the mail and I would not be bringing our daughter to meet him with the on again off again girlfriend. I found that extremely disrespectful as he had stopped contact with our daughter when he met this woman and I did not feel comfortable bringing my daughter to meet her or even really dealing with her myself. They obviously have an unstable relationship. He called me petty, we had som choice words and again I didn't hear from him.
Two days ago our daughter was admitted to a psychiatric facility after I found some very concerning diary entries by my daughter talking about Una living herself.
Since coming into our lives my daughter has turned into a mean spirited person. She will fat shame her brothers, hit and push her you get siblings and is just kind of generally abusive to everyone around her. She's told me multiple times she's angry at him and very hurt.
Anyways, I figured he ought to know she's being admitted as this is pretty serious. His response was "we are trying to figure a way up there". As in him and the girlfriend were going to come up while our child was in crisis. I went off again. Telling him again he has chosen this woman over our daughter and how dare he think it's appropriate to bring this woman up here while outr daughter is in crisis. I told him it is up to our daughter if they are involved and just showing up ESPECIALLY with the person she feels (justifyibly so) that he chose over her while she's in crisis. He come back with he has no idea why I'm bringing it back to him and the girlfriend when we should be focusing on getting our daughter better. My stance is, he brought it up. He asked for eventually for us all to be able to be cool and again he implied he was going to try and bring her up here to visit our daughter in the hospital. I laid a boundary. And some how I am the one not focusing on our daughter right now.
This was yesterday and I have not heard one word from him. He has not inquired as to how our daughter is, what facility she is at, how he can contact her. Nothing. I am so irate at this point I am seeing red.
AITA for being so angry at him? In my state abandonment is after 6 months. He was gone for 9 years. He has been inconsistent at best especially the last 6 months or so. Would I be justified in just blocking him and continuing on with our life like he never showed up?
submitted by AdvancedApartment705 to dustythunder [link] [comments]
This is gonna be probably pretty long and all over the place but I'll try and keep it straight and to the point.
So I have a daughter. She is 11 almost 12. For the first 9+ years of her life her dad had not been involved. ( She was a fortune product of a one night stand) When he showed up almost two years ago it was with some fabricated story that a child support case worker alienated him and threatened him with harassment if he pursued a relationship with his daughter. I did try to reach out a couple times when she was younger trying to encourage a relationship between them and all attempts went ignored. He says this is because he was afraid I was setting him up. Well up until this past December I took him at his word. He was semi involved until that point. In December he met a woman and all contact stopped minus a few check ins and multiple inappropriate messages to me considering he was in a relationship. Each time this happened I would lay a boundary. During one of these contacts he promised he'd send his child support and $100 for Christmas/Birthday gift for her. That did not happen. He instead sent me a dirty video saying he "hoped that made up for it" 🤮🤮🤮 at this point I lost my iiisssshhhhh on him and told him essentially he was in a relationship and needed to knock it off. I didn't want to see that and it was disrespectful to me and his partner.
He moved in with this partner within a month of meeting her. Red flag right?
Before he met her I was trying to help him find an apartment locally as he lives 200 miles away. I absolutely advocated for him to have a relationship with his daughter from the second he showed up because I've never been the type to keep my children from their father unless it was for good reason. He was supposed to get her a phone and pay for it so they could maintain contact. Never happened. I supplied the phone and the service and it was silent.
After he had sent me that video I had put him on restricted on FB so I didn't get any messages from him. I finally get a call from him on Valentine's day apologizing for his behavior and letting me know he was sending some child support that day.
Then at some point in March he reaches out again saying he was no longer with this girl and he was sorry for his absence and he'd do better. The following week our daughter's phone caught fire and I let him know (not that he was contacting her anyways). The next day he said his cousin had gifted him a phone and he wanted to send it to our daughter. Cool. Let's do it. Then he texts a few days later saying he would be in a town 45 miles south of me and could I meet him and said girlfriend to receive the phone and bring our daughter so he could see her. (At this point the last I knew him and chick had broken up). I said no thanks you can drop it in the mail and I would not be bringing our daughter to meet him with the on again off again girlfriend. I found that extremely disrespectful as he had stopped contact with our daughter when he met this woman and I did not feel comfortable bringing my daughter to meet her or even really dealing with her myself. They obviously have an unstable relationship. He called me petty, we had som choice words and again I didn't hear from him.
Two days ago our daughter was admitted to a psychiatric facility after I found some very concerning diary entries by my daughter talking about Una living herself.
Since coming into our lives my daughter has turned into a mean spirited person. She will fat shame her brothers, hit and push her you get siblings and is just kind of generally abusive to everyone around her. She's told me multiple times she's angry at him and very hurt.
Anyways, I figured he ought to know she's being admitted as this is pretty serious. His response was "we are trying to figure a way up there". As in him and the girlfriend were going to come up while our child was in crisis. I went off again. Telling him again he has chosen this woman over our daughter and how dare he think it's appropriate to bring this woman up here while outr daughter is in crisis. I told him it is up to our daughter if they are involved and just showing up ESPECIALLY with the person she feels (justifyibly so) that he chose over her while she's in crisis. He come back with he has no idea why I'm bringing it back to him and the girlfriend when we should be focusing on getting our daughter better. My stance is, he brought it up. He asked for eventually for us all to be able to be cool and again he implied he was going to try and bring her up here to visit our daughter in the hospital. I laid a boundary. And some how I am the one not focusing on our daughter right now.
This was yesterday and I have not heard one word from him. He has not inquired as to how our daughter is, what facility she is at, how he can contact her. Nothing. I am so irate at this point I am seeing red.
AITA for being so angry at him? In my state abandonment is after 6 months. He was gone for 9 years. He has been inconsistent at best especially the last 6 months or so. Would I be justified in just blocking him and continuing on with our life like he never showed up?
2024.05.19 17:56 Onceuponatimeipost18 Am I overreacting? I’m pregnant and don’t want my mil here
I will try to be brief, but it’s a long story. Me (31F) and SO (36) have been together for almost 12 years. We moved to another country 6 years ago. I thought I had a good relationship with my MIL although I’ve seen her crazy behavior towards others several times - She drinks every weekend to the point she starts being violent and starts a drama. She provokes people and plays the victim later. What confused me very much was that she was an awesome person when she was not drunk - so I only thought she had a tough life and depression issues (very silly of me). But in reality, I should’ve seen she doesn’t talk to any family members and she said they are all wrong and ungrateful and“treated her so bad after everything she’s done for them” - of course, she does not mention what she did to provoke them.
Fast forward to last year, she came to stay with us for 4 months. 10 days after she arrived she decided to drink on the weekend - I had gone Christmas shopping with my sister and niece and we spent the entire day out. My MIL started sending me weird messages and my husband told me later she was implying I wasn’t with my sister. This cause I huge fight and I told her to respect me at my house. At this point I started seeing who she really was. I could hear he talking shit about me with his siblings. 2-3 fights happened during this period and I felt my husband was not backing me up. I was trying to ignore all of this because I knew he missed his family so much and mine also live here so I tried to do it for him. But it was an absolute nightmare and I held lots of resentment towards him. One day she left her phone with me and - I know I was wrong - but I saw SO MUCH SHIT about me and my family in a conversation with my BIL. I also cause a huge fight and I couldn’t hate all of them more.
She ended up living early after I told her if I heard her talking shit about me she’d go to a hotel.
Once she returns, a friend told us she would spent the entire day bad mouthing me to his mom (who was also visiting) saying she was sure I was cheating on my husband with one friend of ours. My husband finally reacted and said a lot to his mom. She attacked the woman later with nasty messages and ended up blocked.
It’s been a year I’m NC with her and his brother (the other one I don’t like as well but he’s not blocked) . SO stills talks to her weekly.
I am now 12w pregnant and I hear their conversation - she always asks about the baby, never about me like I’m an incubator lol. She even said the baby looked like him (from a 12w ultrasound) 🤷♀️ Today I heard she asked how far along am I and when is the due date. She’s obsessed with her only grandchild (BIL’s son 9yo) and even said she wanted to take him from his mom because she’d take better care of him. My SIL NEVER leaves him alone with her, thankfully.
Anyway, I’m freaking out that she will offer to come and help and I absolutely DONT want this woman here at all. I don’t know how my husband would react if she starts insisting on coming here, he said I don’t need to worry but it’s very defensive about FMIL. I am aware I have a SO problem because she can’t manipulate him easily with her dramas. I swear I’d leave this house if she comes here. I want my mom to be here. I am freaking about this bc I remember how jealous she was of my SIL’s mom when my nephew was born. She wanted to be the first, the most important and etc. She’s also very jealous of my mom and our relationship.
If I have a girl she will be absolutely crazy because it was her dream and she had only 3 boys. I’m not sure if I’m overthinking this, but I feel she’ll ask to come here. When she left (even after all fights) she said something like “if you guys have a kid I’ll come to help. Actually, not sure if you will want bc you have your mum huh?” Which I replied “yes, I have my mom here and it’s all good”. She also cried when my husband told her I was pregnant saying she loved me and was devastated because she would never get to know her grandchild. She’s just a fucking narcissistic I dislike so much.
How can I prepare for this situation?
submitted by Onceuponatimeipost18 to JUSTNOMIL [link] [comments]
Fast forward to last year, she came to stay with us for 4 months. 10 days after she arrived she decided to drink on the weekend - I had gone Christmas shopping with my sister and niece and we spent the entire day out. My MIL started sending me weird messages and my husband told me later she was implying I wasn’t with my sister. This cause I huge fight and I told her to respect me at my house. At this point I started seeing who she really was. I could hear he talking shit about me with his siblings. 2-3 fights happened during this period and I felt my husband was not backing me up. I was trying to ignore all of this because I knew he missed his family so much and mine also live here so I tried to do it for him. But it was an absolute nightmare and I held lots of resentment towards him. One day she left her phone with me and - I know I was wrong - but I saw SO MUCH SHIT about me and my family in a conversation with my BIL. I also cause a huge fight and I couldn’t hate all of them more.
She ended up living early after I told her if I heard her talking shit about me she’d go to a hotel.
Once she returns, a friend told us she would spent the entire day bad mouthing me to his mom (who was also visiting) saying she was sure I was cheating on my husband with one friend of ours. My husband finally reacted and said a lot to his mom. She attacked the woman later with nasty messages and ended up blocked.
It’s been a year I’m NC with her and his brother (the other one I don’t like as well but he’s not blocked) . SO stills talks to her weekly.
I am now 12w pregnant and I hear their conversation - she always asks about the baby, never about me like I’m an incubator lol. She even said the baby looked like him (from a 12w ultrasound) 🤷♀️ Today I heard she asked how far along am I and when is the due date. She’s obsessed with her only grandchild (BIL’s son 9yo) and even said she wanted to take him from his mom because she’d take better care of him. My SIL NEVER leaves him alone with her, thankfully.
Anyway, I’m freaking out that she will offer to come and help and I absolutely DONT want this woman here at all. I don’t know how my husband would react if she starts insisting on coming here, he said I don’t need to worry but it’s very defensive about FMIL. I am aware I have a SO problem because she can’t manipulate him easily with her dramas. I swear I’d leave this house if she comes here. I want my mom to be here. I am freaking about this bc I remember how jealous she was of my SIL’s mom when my nephew was born. She wanted to be the first, the most important and etc. She’s also very jealous of my mom and our relationship.
If I have a girl she will be absolutely crazy because it was her dream and she had only 3 boys. I’m not sure if I’m overthinking this, but I feel she’ll ask to come here. When she left (even after all fights) she said something like “if you guys have a kid I’ll come to help. Actually, not sure if you will want bc you have your mum huh?” Which I replied “yes, I have my mom here and it’s all good”. She also cried when my husband told her I was pregnant saying she loved me and was devastated because she would never get to know her grandchild. She’s just a fucking narcissistic I dislike so much.
How can I prepare for this situation?
2024.05.19 17:37 InvestmentBoth9220 For wanting to move on in and end my marriage
Just a little bit of a back story. I have been sick for the past year and half. My blood levels have been low and the drs don’t know what the cause is, is it it an iron deficiency or something worse. So they began doing a series of infusion treatments on me to see if my blood levels would rise. While this has been going on I was still working but thankfully my employer was understanding and said whenever I needed to go rest just make up the time where I could. I am a contingent employee under contract so I have no pto or sick time. So I cant necessarily miss because I need the money to help support my spouse and children. I also home school one of my children.
During this time because I have not been performing in the bedroom with my spouse because I have been sick and exhausted. It is not like I didn’t want I just physical could not. This past Christmas while I was working I sent a Text to my husband just telling him thanks for taking to me the dr the other day. He responds with I want a divorce. He then proceeds to tell me I am soul eater that I am drag him down and now that he has lost weight he wants to explore more options with his body that couldn’t before and I am not giving him sex everyday like I use to. He asked me for an open relationship. I said this is not a conversation to have via text come home. At that point I was worked up at my desk while working and not feeling the best.
He comes home and completely avoids me. I tried engaging in conversation everything but he went straight to his computer ignoring me. The next morning I woke up and tried engaging in conversation again he ignored me until later that evening. during the conversation he began a by saying he wants to leave because he doesn’t believe I respect him or appreciation him and he doesn’t feel in control of the relationship further more me being sick is exhausting and the children we adopted do not respect him either.
I sat their in a daze because something was not sitting right with me. I asked if there was someone else he initially said no but then I said you’re lying and he confessed he was talking with his ex and that they had been sexting. He said it wasn’t affair because it was not physical however in our first year of marriage he sexted someone and I sat the boundary that it was not ok! Fast forward 10 years he did it again.
On Christmas he decided to leave.. imagine having to tell the 2 kids you just adopted on Christmas it wasn’t their fault because they were blaming themselves due to the comment he made as he was leaving he stated “don’t let your mom get in your head like my mom did when she divorced my dad…” what why would say that! I explained to the kids that we were just in a rough spot and no matter what happens we love them unconditionally and nothing is their fault because our younger son was saying if him and his brother didn’t come in the picture none of this would happen. Worse day of my life especially. The next day he messaged and asked if we were going to his moms to celebrate Christmas and that k got what I wanted he had to sleep in a parking lot. I told him not to sleep in a parking lot and for the sake of the kids come home. But if he were to come home this thing with ex had to stop. The only reason it began because I wasn’t given him attention and she is going through a divorce and gave him everything he needed that she was better than me in all aspects. I sat there and cried. He the canceled my health insurance.
He came home and I went to the bedroom to sleep he texted me and said o you can’t come out here now that I came home. I go outside the room to talk to him and he told me I needed to speak to a therapist that I am crazy and a narcissist. That he is going to stay.
I began speaking with a therapist paying out of pocket and told her everything that occurred and what he had said and done and what I have said and done and that I was really nervous about being a narcissist and if I were a narcissist. After speaking with her for a moments she told me I wasn’t a narcissist but I do suffer narcissistic victim syndrome and that I live with my narcissist. I told her I was having a hard time with forgiveness with the other girl because if she was going through a divorce because her spouse cheated why would she do that to another person. The therapist was to ask her.
So I took her advice and I sent the message. She responded. We had a completely adult conversation she stated she begged my husband not to cheat but he led her to believe we were in an open marriage. She reassured me going for she would not be a bother anymore and I thanked her.
Fast forward a couple of days I get a follow on my instagram from a girl I use to work with. I have spoken with this person in years but i remembered her because she was so nice. So I sent her a private message that literally just said hello how are you? She responded as if I was trying to get intel out of her regarding my spouse and was so nasty. I sat there crying not understanding why this person was so mean and spouse what is it. I said this girl we worked followed me and I sent her message saying hello and she goes off about you what the hell are you telling me people. He said nothing I am not telling anybody anything.
So I messaged her back to shut the conversation down and showed the screen shot of where she followed me and I wasn’t even following her. I told her not to make up lies about my husband then she sends me a screenshot of her and my husband convo he had villianized me to her. I thanked her for the message and blocked her. I fwd a screen shot of the message to his phone and set in silence. He responded “Yeah? And? Be sure to bring that up to your therapist too. Way to send us a whole step backwards because you can't talk to me like an adult. I lied about not knowing because I wanted to see how far you would take it.”
The goodness out of all this is I am no longer a contingent and next month will have health insurance again to start back my infusions treatments to determine why my blood levels are low fingers crossed it is an iron deficiency.
Am I the asshole for wanting a divorce?
submitted by InvestmentBoth9220 to AmIActuallyTheAsshole [link] [comments]
During this time because I have not been performing in the bedroom with my spouse because I have been sick and exhausted. It is not like I didn’t want I just physical could not. This past Christmas while I was working I sent a Text to my husband just telling him thanks for taking to me the dr the other day. He responds with I want a divorce. He then proceeds to tell me I am soul eater that I am drag him down and now that he has lost weight he wants to explore more options with his body that couldn’t before and I am not giving him sex everyday like I use to. He asked me for an open relationship. I said this is not a conversation to have via text come home. At that point I was worked up at my desk while working and not feeling the best.
He comes home and completely avoids me. I tried engaging in conversation everything but he went straight to his computer ignoring me. The next morning I woke up and tried engaging in conversation again he ignored me until later that evening. during the conversation he began a by saying he wants to leave because he doesn’t believe I respect him or appreciation him and he doesn’t feel in control of the relationship further more me being sick is exhausting and the children we adopted do not respect him either.
I sat their in a daze because something was not sitting right with me. I asked if there was someone else he initially said no but then I said you’re lying and he confessed he was talking with his ex and that they had been sexting. He said it wasn’t affair because it was not physical however in our first year of marriage he sexted someone and I sat the boundary that it was not ok! Fast forward 10 years he did it again.
On Christmas he decided to leave.. imagine having to tell the 2 kids you just adopted on Christmas it wasn’t their fault because they were blaming themselves due to the comment he made as he was leaving he stated “don’t let your mom get in your head like my mom did when she divorced my dad…” what why would say that! I explained to the kids that we were just in a rough spot and no matter what happens we love them unconditionally and nothing is their fault because our younger son was saying if him and his brother didn’t come in the picture none of this would happen. Worse day of my life especially. The next day he messaged and asked if we were going to his moms to celebrate Christmas and that k got what I wanted he had to sleep in a parking lot. I told him not to sleep in a parking lot and for the sake of the kids come home. But if he were to come home this thing with ex had to stop. The only reason it began because I wasn’t given him attention and she is going through a divorce and gave him everything he needed that she was better than me in all aspects. I sat there and cried. He the canceled my health insurance.
He came home and I went to the bedroom to sleep he texted me and said o you can’t come out here now that I came home. I go outside the room to talk to him and he told me I needed to speak to a therapist that I am crazy and a narcissist. That he is going to stay.
I began speaking with a therapist paying out of pocket and told her everything that occurred and what he had said and done and what I have said and done and that I was really nervous about being a narcissist and if I were a narcissist. After speaking with her for a moments she told me I wasn’t a narcissist but I do suffer narcissistic victim syndrome and that I live with my narcissist. I told her I was having a hard time with forgiveness with the other girl because if she was going through a divorce because her spouse cheated why would she do that to another person. The therapist was to ask her.
So I took her advice and I sent the message. She responded. We had a completely adult conversation she stated she begged my husband not to cheat but he led her to believe we were in an open marriage. She reassured me going for she would not be a bother anymore and I thanked her.
Fast forward a couple of days I get a follow on my instagram from a girl I use to work with. I have spoken with this person in years but i remembered her because she was so nice. So I sent her a private message that literally just said hello how are you? She responded as if I was trying to get intel out of her regarding my spouse and was so nasty. I sat there crying not understanding why this person was so mean and spouse what is it. I said this girl we worked followed me and I sent her message saying hello and she goes off about you what the hell are you telling me people. He said nothing I am not telling anybody anything.
So I messaged her back to shut the conversation down and showed the screen shot of where she followed me and I wasn’t even following her. I told her not to make up lies about my husband then she sends me a screenshot of her and my husband convo he had villianized me to her. I thanked her for the message and blocked her. I fwd a screen shot of the message to his phone and set in silence. He responded “Yeah? And? Be sure to bring that up to your therapist too. Way to send us a whole step backwards because you can't talk to me like an adult. I lied about not knowing because I wanted to see how far you would take it.”
The goodness out of all this is I am no longer a contingent and next month will have health insurance again to start back my infusions treatments to determine why my blood levels are low fingers crossed it is an iron deficiency.
Am I the asshole for wanting a divorce?
2024.05.19 17:25 bladehunterhd Anger towards my Dad
To start off, my dad used to be my hero growing up, when I was a kid and he was deployed over seas I would cry for him to return, and even with his anger issues and yelling against me and my two siblings I stilled cared about him but in 2014 we would move and my family arrived my dad planned on divorcing my mom, he planned this by holding onto out furniture as to wait to get my mom kicked out of the house so we had to me and my sister had to wait for our furniture my brother would be lucky as he went to college as we were moving, but me and my sister didn't go to school intill our furniture arrived. During that time we were using air mattress while my dad wasn't in the house, at the time I thought our furniture was just taking a long time to arrive as we moved from Hawaii and my dad was just out of the house for a while as this happened before when my parents had a fight, and even when me and my sister went on visitation I thought it was temporary intill my dad told us they were getting a divorce. I was sad but didn't also fully realize the situation, it wasn't intill my dad got a apartment after renting a room in a house that my anger for my dad started as after my and my sis helped bring things in he told us "I'm sorry for your mom being such a monster". After that situation would be 5 long years of visitation and him trying his hardest to get full custody while my mom would get none, luckily that never happened but he tried everything even using his sister(aunt) to sit us down when we were at Christmas visitation and ask "what medication my mom took to make her act this way" this even made me hate my aunt who up intill this point I had a decent relationship with. But my dad wouldn't stop there from calling the police on me and my sister to force us into visitation, to poking me till I had a bruise when I refused to talk to him. He even forgetting my age, when we argued and thought i was a year younger. Everything he did just made me hate him even more, but even now 5 years after I turned 18 and didn't have to see him anymore I still wanted to reconnect as I had a hole from not having a father, intill I was about to message him on Facebook and saw in 2020 he made a shirt during covid saying to make sure you wear a mask and that he need to outlive his ex-wife. I just don't understand why he hated her so much my mom did nothing to deserve this and during the divorce never said a single bad thing about him, yet he claimed she was alienating us against him, when it was him that alienated us against him. And even though he remarried and didnt even invite his kids it made me angry, and even though i wouldnt have gone it still makes me sad that he doesn't try more to reconnect besides sending me and my sibling post cards and money, that were most likely money my grandfather left us, as he told my brother about it, but my grandfather never used a lawyer and trusted my aunt to do the right thing, which my aunt is another story. I don't even want money, all I ever wanted was am apology for all the wrong he has done. There is more to the story but it's already long enough, I want to still message him but not to reconnect but to now confront him, though I dont know if I should.
Sorry for the long post.
submitted by bladehunterhd to GetOffMyChest [link] [comments]
Sorry for the long post.
2024.05.19 17:12 A_lonely_astronaut 100 favorite albums
 | Rate my 100 favorite albums, I tried to make it not just rym or mu core submitted by A_lonely_astronaut to Topster [link] [comments] |