Ryhming poems about vacations with family
Clan Area 51
2017.01.15 04:07 azsheepdog Clan Area 51
This is the private room for discussions in DML Clan Area 51
2012.05.08 18:02 ItsOnlyPain r/lovehurts has gone private to protest reddits api changes. this is indefinite till change occurs.
2014.10.29 21:10 SmilingAnus AT&T technicians
A place for all AT&T Technicians and employees. Everything from Wire Techs to Tier 2. #Friends /ATT /uverse
2024.05.20 09:03 Majestic_Present6397 Long Distance relationship
I'm from Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, and my girlfriend is from Pahang, Malaysia. We're both 16, and the distance between us is almost 200 km. She told me she will move to Selangor, which is only 30 minutes away from me. My family usually visits Pahang for vacation, and I told her that I would be coming next month, but she suggested we should meet when we're 18 because our parents won't allow us to date as minors. I respect her decision and agree it’s a good idea for us to date openly with our parents' knowledge instead of secretly.She matches my humor, but she faces challenges at home; her father verbally abuses her mother, and her parents often fight. I'm not sure how to comfort her since she usually ends up comforting me and also she told me she is not worried about them. However, she tells me she loves me very much, and I care deeply about her. I always send her words of appreciation, telling her how beautiful she is and how much I love her. I keep her updated on everything going on in our lives.I love her so much and can’t wait to meet her. Her mom takes good care of her, and I hope I make her happy too.We always text each other and play games online together. She doesn’t care about my looks; she just loves me. Whenever I ask her about something, she responds with affection. She also gives me helpful tips on studies and takes good care of me. ***My question is: how can I take good care of her and comfort her during hard times, and how can we ensure our relationship lasts in this long distance,how to make her happy and she is the one who comfort me during hard times
submitted by Majestic_Present6397 to dating_advice [link] [comments]
2024.05.20 09:02 Majestic_Present6397 Long Distance relationship
I'm from Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, and my girlfriend is from Pahang, Malaysia. We're both 16, and the distance between us is almost 200 km. She told me she will move to Selangor, which is only 30 minutes away from me. My family usually visits Pahang for vacation, and I told her that I would be coming next month, but she suggested we should meet when we're 18 because our parents won't allow us to date as minors. I respect her decision and agree it’s a good idea for us to date openly with our parents' knowledge instead of secretly.She matches my humor, but she faces challenges at home; her father verbally abuses her mother, and her parents often fight. I'm not sure how to comfort her since she usually ends up comforting me and also she told me she is not worried about them. However, she tells me she loves me very much, and I care deeply about her. I always send her words of appreciation, telling her how beautiful she is and how much I love her. I keep her updated on everything going on in our lives.I love her so much and can’t wait to meet her. Her mom takes good care of her, and I hope I make her happy too.We always text each other and play games online together. She doesn’t care about my looks; she just loves me. Whenever I ask her about something, she responds with affection. She also gives me helpful tips on studies and takes good care of me. ***My question is: how can I take good care of her and comfort her during hard times, and how can we ensure our relationship lasts in this long distance,how to make her happy and she is the one who comfort me during hard times
submitted by Majestic_Present6397 to dating_advice [link] [comments]
2024.05.20 08:50 Randymarsh29 Wife and In laws want a khula
Asalamalekum,
I got married to my wife through arranged marriage last year. We had a 6 month engagement period prior to our Nikah. We moved to a different country after the wedding.
We get along well and I enjoy her company a lot. I love her a lot and admire a lot of her good qualities. I am very affectionate towards her and we are very active in terms of intimacy.
After the move to our home( we live alone), She got extremely homesick and due to this she would spend long hours talking to her mother daily. I didn't mind this initially but it got to a point where she would speak with her mother atleast 5 - 6 hours daily. I found this a bit abnormal and asked if she could reduce the phone time and instead speak with me about whatever is bothering her , so I can support her emotionally. She would deny there is anything wrong with this and it's quite common for brides who get married to speak with their parents since they just moved out.
I applied for her work permit in the meantime, but she wanted start working immediately without one. I told her that is a violation of her visa and provided her the tracking number for her work permit application and asked her to start working as soon as her work permit is approved. She was not happy with with me and blamed me for stopping her from working.
Within 3 months of the weddings she kept mentioning that she would like to visit her parents. I was initially against her travelling home so soon and we had a few arguments over it. Since I was going through a rough patch at work I would often work 18+ hours(I work from home). I requested her support for 1.5 month till I conclude my current project. I promised her that only if she waited 1.5 month longer, we could travel to her parents home together for a long vacation.
She got extremely angry at me for asking her to stay. Within a few days she purchased the tickets for herself with her own money and left.
Fast forward she travels to her parents home and she cut of communication for days at a time. She neither answered my calls of texts messages.
Recently,I come to find out that she wants a khula and her family is accusing me of controlling behavior, anger issues and using their daughter as a servant becuase i prevented her from working and used her for cooking/ cleaning only.
I didn't want to contest the charges and apologized to her parents and promised to do better.And i asked them to retract the khula. But no one wants from her family wants to talk to me. Her father is not replying to my calls /messages either.
My family asked a mufti to mediate the matter. During the mediation process, her father cited a risk to her life because of me and the her father says he cannot send her back to me due to this reason. He is afraid of her taking her own life due my alleged bad behaviour.
I never hurt her physically in any way, I am beyond shattered to hear this. She is blaming me for her decision to go for a khula and accusing me of using her as puppet and touching her raw neve by asking her not to speak with her mother.
I am willing to do anything to fix this but i find this very strange and sad. Any advice on how to navigate is appreciated.
Jazakallah
submitted by Randymarsh29 to MuslimMarriage [link] [comments]
I got married to my wife through arranged marriage last year. We had a 6 month engagement period prior to our Nikah. We moved to a different country after the wedding.
We get along well and I enjoy her company a lot. I love her a lot and admire a lot of her good qualities. I am very affectionate towards her and we are very active in terms of intimacy.
After the move to our home( we live alone), She got extremely homesick and due to this she would spend long hours talking to her mother daily. I didn't mind this initially but it got to a point where she would speak with her mother atleast 5 - 6 hours daily. I found this a bit abnormal and asked if she could reduce the phone time and instead speak with me about whatever is bothering her , so I can support her emotionally. She would deny there is anything wrong with this and it's quite common for brides who get married to speak with their parents since they just moved out.
I applied for her work permit in the meantime, but she wanted start working immediately without one. I told her that is a violation of her visa and provided her the tracking number for her work permit application and asked her to start working as soon as her work permit is approved. She was not happy with with me and blamed me for stopping her from working.
Within 3 months of the weddings she kept mentioning that she would like to visit her parents. I was initially against her travelling home so soon and we had a few arguments over it. Since I was going through a rough patch at work I would often work 18+ hours(I work from home). I requested her support for 1.5 month till I conclude my current project. I promised her that only if she waited 1.5 month longer, we could travel to her parents home together for a long vacation.
She got extremely angry at me for asking her to stay. Within a few days she purchased the tickets for herself with her own money and left.
Fast forward she travels to her parents home and she cut of communication for days at a time. She neither answered my calls of texts messages.
Recently,I come to find out that she wants a khula and her family is accusing me of controlling behavior, anger issues and using their daughter as a servant becuase i prevented her from working and used her for cooking/ cleaning only.
I didn't want to contest the charges and apologized to her parents and promised to do better.And i asked them to retract the khula. But no one wants from her family wants to talk to me. Her father is not replying to my calls /messages either.
My family asked a mufti to mediate the matter. During the mediation process, her father cited a risk to her life because of me and the her father says he cannot send her back to me due to this reason. He is afraid of her taking her own life due my alleged bad behaviour.
I never hurt her physically in any way, I am beyond shattered to hear this. She is blaming me for her decision to go for a khula and accusing me of using her as puppet and touching her raw neve by asking her not to speak with her mother.
I am willing to do anything to fix this but i find this very strange and sad. Any advice on how to navigate is appreciated.
Jazakallah
2024.05.20 08:42 Magistyna No matter how much your heart aches and how bad you hurt, I promise you will heal and get over it: Here's how I got over a 1+ year relationship with who I thought was the love of my life and my future. Please read this if your heart hurts and you feel it'll never get better.
It was me 4 years ago searching on Reddit and every corner of the internet how to stop the heartache, how to stop my heart feeling like it was bleeding in my chest through tears in my eyes. I did everything I could. I pretended like I was very happy, I lived a lie when others asked how I was doing, I tried to gaslight myself into thinking it was for the best and nothing worked. I was in agonizing pain. Does this sound like you? Are you trying to cope through the excruciating pain and emotional turmoil you're going through right now like I did?
My breakup happened just a week before the COVID lockdowns. I couldn't access therapy when I needed it most no matter how hard I tried. This was also a point in my life where I didn't have many close connections or friends; I had nobody to vent to or talk to, and when I tried with one friend, they ghosted me because of it.
I had also just moved in with my partner and we were engaged. I thought the world of him and I believed he was my future and who I would have children with. I centered so much of my love, time and attention our relationship no matter what. We were together for just over a year when it all came crashing down.
It doesn't really matter how the breakup happened in any case with anyone; it happened and it hurt, period. That's where I feel your pain. I've been through what you're going through and it lasted me 1 year and 3 months. Every. Single. Day. Yes, there was better days but they were never enough and never consistent. It was a constant battle to distract and cope, and it rarely worked.
With this newfound freedom from my thoughts, I began to fall in love with the little things. I went on more walks, I hung out with the ducks and geese around me. I loved the way the sun felt on my skin. I began experimenting with my fashion choices. I was able to pick up a new hobby and get deep into it. I went on a vacation, I reconnected with my old friends. Life had meaning again and I could breathe.
As a result however, I fell in love with my own solitude. I made myself happy and I was picking up the pieces and improving my life for myself. My future included me, myself, and I, and I was not interested in dating. Seeing couples and weddings didn't phase me. I was happy for others, but I wasn't thinking the same thing for myself. I was focused on being happy, enjoying life and improving myself as a person. I didn't want to date anymore or put myself out there. I didn't wanna think about men at all, it left a bad taste in my mouth. Obviously I knew I wouldn't feel this negatively about dating forever, but I let myself feel it for as long as my heart did. I was done lying to myself.
Four years have passed now since the breakup. I'm in a committed, long term relationship with another, brilliant, funny and romantic man. I've never felt so loved before. I put myself out there again and succeeded. Life is so different. It's beautiful, it's unique, it's fun and it comes with a lot of lessons. I never think about my ex unless something extremely specific to him or my relationship is brought up or asked about. I feel so detached from it that it's like I'm talking about someone else's relationship. I feel nothing, absolutely nothing. It's liberating. I cried, begged and prayed for days like this and I'm living them now.
I promise you that there is light at the end of the tunnel no matter how bad it hurts. I've been there, believe me. I thought the world was coming to an end. I made little to no progress until 1 year and 3 months later. It's not a race. Give yourself and your heart time. Grieve, cry, heal, feel hurt. Don't pretend. It will get better, I promise. 💖
submitted by Magistyna to BreakUps [link] [comments]
My breakup happened just a week before the COVID lockdowns. I couldn't access therapy when I needed it most no matter how hard I tried. This was also a point in my life where I didn't have many close connections or friends; I had nobody to vent to or talk to, and when I tried with one friend, they ghosted me because of it.
I had also just moved in with my partner and we were engaged. I thought the world of him and I believed he was my future and who I would have children with. I centered so much of my love, time and attention our relationship no matter what. We were together for just over a year when it all came crashing down.
It doesn't really matter how the breakup happened in any case with anyone; it happened and it hurt, period. That's where I feel your pain. I've been through what you're going through and it lasted me 1 year and 3 months. Every. Single. Day. Yes, there was better days but they were never enough and never consistent. It was a constant battle to distract and cope, and it rarely worked.
- The constant overthinking.
- Dreaming of them.
- Desperately trying to cope and distract myself.
- Couldn't stop talking about him or our relationship.
- Crying uncontrollably.
- Pretending like I was happy/someone else.
- How I got over it at last.
With this newfound freedom from my thoughts, I began to fall in love with the little things. I went on more walks, I hung out with the ducks and geese around me. I loved the way the sun felt on my skin. I began experimenting with my fashion choices. I was able to pick up a new hobby and get deep into it. I went on a vacation, I reconnected with my old friends. Life had meaning again and I could breathe.
As a result however, I fell in love with my own solitude. I made myself happy and I was picking up the pieces and improving my life for myself. My future included me, myself, and I, and I was not interested in dating. Seeing couples and weddings didn't phase me. I was happy for others, but I wasn't thinking the same thing for myself. I was focused on being happy, enjoying life and improving myself as a person. I didn't want to date anymore or put myself out there. I didn't wanna think about men at all, it left a bad taste in my mouth. Obviously I knew I wouldn't feel this negatively about dating forever, but I let myself feel it for as long as my heart did. I was done lying to myself.
Four years have passed now since the breakup. I'm in a committed, long term relationship with another, brilliant, funny and romantic man. I've never felt so loved before. I put myself out there again and succeeded. Life is so different. It's beautiful, it's unique, it's fun and it comes with a lot of lessons. I never think about my ex unless something extremely specific to him or my relationship is brought up or asked about. I feel so detached from it that it's like I'm talking about someone else's relationship. I feel nothing, absolutely nothing. It's liberating. I cried, begged and prayed for days like this and I'm living them now.
I promise you that there is light at the end of the tunnel no matter how bad it hurts. I've been there, believe me. I thought the world was coming to an end. I made little to no progress until 1 year and 3 months later. It's not a race. Give yourself and your heart time. Grieve, cry, heal, feel hurt. Don't pretend. It will get better, I promise. 💖
2024.05.20 08:40 Delicious_Net_900 Should I have sex with my ex?
Currently he is 37years old & I 32 years old.dorry in advanced it's a long story ,but I think its important to know the past history for the best advice..
We met in 2012 dated 4 years,I broke up with him cause I felt a lack of affection after years together & maybe there was someone else,he promised there was nobody else but,after time my insecurities & instincts said different.as a women we see the signs,there was inconsistencies so I called it...& 2weeks later he texted me asking if I was going to ever tell him about my pregnancy if he didn't ask..👀👀👀Iwas stunned, immediately shot up & I went to the Drs & found out I was 16weeks pregnant with our son.i had irregular periods so a missed period wasn't alarming & I was on birth control.he met me up at the Drs ,we talked it out,we got back together & broke up agin just before Our son being born, he found out he had gotten another woman pregnant during our split & the woman was keeping the child,he wasn't there for our son's birth nor to sign the certificate (his choice)..I got a lawyer & we had all forms ready we just needed him to sign off his rights.he got a lawyer & refused to sign.before court we decided to handle this no lawyers just us raising our son as best as we both could without involvement of the state.
Never the less hes a loving father to our son,not the most active father since he moved 8 hrs away due to work but,he makes it work by having daily communication with our son & financially helping me monthly for my son's expenses we have a shared bank account he adds funds to monthly & anything our son wants or requires sports gears, clothing,shoes etc is all charged into this card.we have a great relationship as friends now.we speak not daily but constantly keep in contact & if we ever need to talk or vent we can normally call each other..it wasn't easy the first few years alot of bickering.
the other women disappeared completely after she found out about my son & I & he never saw or heard of her again,he tried contacting her,but no response all he had was a name & number & eventually the number was disconnected..they had a mutual friend & he's asked for my brothers help since my brother is a private investigator & the woman not long after birthing the bby married & the husband wanted to adopted the child as his own,since he had a motorcycle accident many years ago hurting his man part's causing him to go sterile.. My ex came in contact with them & they wanted to met us & we flew out to meet them in South Carolina & they asked my ex to sign off his rights,which he did after a few days of thinking about it,the boy looks identical to my son,almost like I was looking at my son younger...both the woman & her husband where so sweet & nice people,my ex got to hold his son & I took a picture of them for him to have with both boys..he seemed conflicted & full of regrets after signing,he struggles with this some days,but accepted that maybe this is better for the child.this was in 2018 our son was 3ish 4 years old.
We do family vacations all 3 of us during our sons school breaks & I love them! My son loves them! We have a blast,my son gets to spend time with his parents & see us get along & be friends & all 3 of us just stay partying, sometimes dad & I drink a little bit more than we planned,not waisted just slightly buzzed,we get extra silly & loud & our son says we are more playful when we drink adult grape juice (we are wine🍷ppl) 😂😂🫣 but never get hung over . we brain storm about our next adventure while on vacation I recently took us to Disneyland & DCA during spring break 1 week of fun,I live near Disney so dad stayed with us..this upcoming late June he wants us to go to him & camp in an RV at the beach..he FT me last night showing me the RV his uncle is letting us barrow..its beautiful! queen bed master room &a garage for the golf cart & 2ATV he's letting us use,a separate room with a twin bed ,an attached patio it's luxurious! Kitchen, bathroom/shower..the works! after our call ended,he texted me if id be ok with sharing a bed with him & our son take the twin bed alone,we normally share a bed while on vacation,but usually our son is with us..I was hesitant for a sec ,but I thought about it & thought it would be nice if I wasnt on the edge for once & wake up to my son on top of me or a foot or hand on my face,so i agreed,he's always been respectful & we have boundaries & both respectful of that..
it's been years since we where together,but then he asked if we could have casual sex too.. He mentioned that every vacation we go on he usually craves me & he's started to grow feelings for me agin.i have noticed he's more touchy,but I assumed we where just comfortable around eachother & he said last time he saw me at Disney he'd lean on in me to smell me & when I'd hold his face as he leaned on me he loved it, that it would do things for him.. he adorably asked me to dance with him,I noticed something when I looked in his eyes,I blushed & said "what!?" & He smiled & said "nothing, you just look nice dancing with the castle behind you." We ended the dance with a very well timed spin & a bow from him & a curtsy from me. My son recorded the whole firework show & us dancing & the video ends with him giggling telling his dad he cought us dancing & his dad giving him a thumbs up..almost like it was planned 😂😂..
I'm scared! I don't think I can handle casual sex with this man or a relationship there's a lot of history between us & insecurities that will arise...now I'm nervous about our future co parenting,shits gonna be awkward now.
Suggestions
submitted by Delicious_Net_900 to sexadvise [link] [comments]
We met in 2012 dated 4 years,I broke up with him cause I felt a lack of affection after years together & maybe there was someone else,he promised there was nobody else but,after time my insecurities & instincts said different.as a women we see the signs,there was inconsistencies so I called it...& 2weeks later he texted me asking if I was going to ever tell him about my pregnancy if he didn't ask..👀👀👀Iwas stunned, immediately shot up & I went to the Drs & found out I was 16weeks pregnant with our son.i had irregular periods so a missed period wasn't alarming & I was on birth control.he met me up at the Drs ,we talked it out,we got back together & broke up agin just before Our son being born, he found out he had gotten another woman pregnant during our split & the woman was keeping the child,he wasn't there for our son's birth nor to sign the certificate (his choice)..I got a lawyer & we had all forms ready we just needed him to sign off his rights.he got a lawyer & refused to sign.before court we decided to handle this no lawyers just us raising our son as best as we both could without involvement of the state.
Never the less hes a loving father to our son,not the most active father since he moved 8 hrs away due to work but,he makes it work by having daily communication with our son & financially helping me monthly for my son's expenses we have a shared bank account he adds funds to monthly & anything our son wants or requires sports gears, clothing,shoes etc is all charged into this card.we have a great relationship as friends now.we speak not daily but constantly keep in contact & if we ever need to talk or vent we can normally call each other..it wasn't easy the first few years alot of bickering.
the other women disappeared completely after she found out about my son & I & he never saw or heard of her again,he tried contacting her,but no response all he had was a name & number & eventually the number was disconnected..they had a mutual friend & he's asked for my brothers help since my brother is a private investigator & the woman not long after birthing the bby married & the husband wanted to adopted the child as his own,since he had a motorcycle accident many years ago hurting his man part's causing him to go sterile.. My ex came in contact with them & they wanted to met us & we flew out to meet them in South Carolina & they asked my ex to sign off his rights,which he did after a few days of thinking about it,the boy looks identical to my son,almost like I was looking at my son younger...both the woman & her husband where so sweet & nice people,my ex got to hold his son & I took a picture of them for him to have with both boys..he seemed conflicted & full of regrets after signing,he struggles with this some days,but accepted that maybe this is better for the child.this was in 2018 our son was 3ish 4 years old.
We do family vacations all 3 of us during our sons school breaks & I love them! My son loves them! We have a blast,my son gets to spend time with his parents & see us get along & be friends & all 3 of us just stay partying, sometimes dad & I drink a little bit more than we planned,not waisted just slightly buzzed,we get extra silly & loud & our son says we are more playful when we drink adult grape juice (we are wine🍷ppl) 😂😂🫣 but never get hung over . we brain storm about our next adventure while on vacation I recently took us to Disneyland & DCA during spring break 1 week of fun,I live near Disney so dad stayed with us..this upcoming late June he wants us to go to him & camp in an RV at the beach..he FT me last night showing me the RV his uncle is letting us barrow..its beautiful! queen bed master room &a garage for the golf cart & 2ATV he's letting us use,a separate room with a twin bed ,an attached patio it's luxurious! Kitchen, bathroom/shower..the works! after our call ended,he texted me if id be ok with sharing a bed with him & our son take the twin bed alone,we normally share a bed while on vacation,but usually our son is with us..I was hesitant for a sec ,but I thought about it & thought it would be nice if I wasnt on the edge for once & wake up to my son on top of me or a foot or hand on my face,so i agreed,he's always been respectful & we have boundaries & both respectful of that..
it's been years since we where together,but then he asked if we could have casual sex too.. He mentioned that every vacation we go on he usually craves me & he's started to grow feelings for me agin.i have noticed he's more touchy,but I assumed we where just comfortable around eachother & he said last time he saw me at Disney he'd lean on in me to smell me & when I'd hold his face as he leaned on me he loved it, that it would do things for him.. he adorably asked me to dance with him,I noticed something when I looked in his eyes,I blushed & said "what!?" & He smiled & said "nothing, you just look nice dancing with the castle behind you." We ended the dance with a very well timed spin & a bow from him & a curtsy from me. My son recorded the whole firework show & us dancing & the video ends with him giggling telling his dad he cought us dancing & his dad giving him a thumbs up..almost like it was planned 😂😂..
I'm scared! I don't think I can handle casual sex with this man or a relationship there's a lot of history between us & insecurities that will arise...now I'm nervous about our future co parenting,shits gonna be awkward now.
Suggestions
2024.05.20 08:36 throwaway7272748593 someone plewse help me i’m so scared man
i think i’m supposed to be dead
about a week ago i was on vacation in florida visiting family and we went to the beach. while there i had a blast (apart from losing my prescription glasses in the ocean) and i was fine for the next few hours. shortly after i got back to my hotel room i started replaying every second on the beach. i feel in my legs nonstop the way the waves made my feet and legs feel and i have come to the conclusion its because i faked or cheated death in some way. i was supposed to die on that beach and im not supposed to be alive. since the beach every part of my life (even before i realized i shouldve died) has felt extremely odd. like just genuinely off in a way, where you wouldnt notice it without some hindsight and i think its bc i was supposed to die. therefore my entire life and story and whatever is happening on this earth is reacting strangely to me interacting with my environment, like a coding issue in a video game. i haven’t slept in days. ive become extremely paranoid, to the point of seeing snd hearing people, and i dont know what to do. i’m so scared and i cant sleep ive been up for days and i just want to be normal again please help me m
submitted by throwaway7272748593 to u/throwaway7272748593 [link] [comments]
about a week ago i was on vacation in florida visiting family and we went to the beach. while there i had a blast (apart from losing my prescription glasses in the ocean) and i was fine for the next few hours. shortly after i got back to my hotel room i started replaying every second on the beach. i feel in my legs nonstop the way the waves made my feet and legs feel and i have come to the conclusion its because i faked or cheated death in some way. i was supposed to die on that beach and im not supposed to be alive. since the beach every part of my life (even before i realized i shouldve died) has felt extremely odd. like just genuinely off in a way, where you wouldnt notice it without some hindsight and i think its bc i was supposed to die. therefore my entire life and story and whatever is happening on this earth is reacting strangely to me interacting with my environment, like a coding issue in a video game. i haven’t slept in days. ive become extremely paranoid, to the point of seeing snd hearing people, and i dont know what to do. i’m so scared and i cant sleep ive been up for days and i just want to be normal again please help me m
2024.05.20 08:36 throwaway7272748593 i think i was supposed to die
i think i’m supposed to be dead
about a week ago i was on vacation in florida visiting family and we went to the beach. while there i had a blast (apart from losing my prescription glasses in the ocean) and i was fine for the next few hours. shortly after i got back to my hotel room i started replaying every second on the beach. i feel in my legs nonstop the way the waves made my feet and legs feel and i have come to the conclusion its because i faked or cheated death in some way. i was supposed to die on that beach and im not supposed to be alive. since the beach every part of my life (even before i realized i shouldve died) has felt extremely odd. like just genuinely off in a way, where you wouldnt notice it without some hindsight and i think its bc i was supposed to die. therefore my entire life and story and whatever is happening on this earth is reacting strangely to me interacting with my environment, like a coding issue in a video game. i haven’t slept in days. ive become extremely paranoid, to the point of seeing snd hearing people, and i dont know what to do. i’m so scared and i cant sleep ive been up for days and i just want to be normal again please help me m
submitted by throwaway7272748593 to confessions [link] [comments]
about a week ago i was on vacation in florida visiting family and we went to the beach. while there i had a blast (apart from losing my prescription glasses in the ocean) and i was fine for the next few hours. shortly after i got back to my hotel room i started replaying every second on the beach. i feel in my legs nonstop the way the waves made my feet and legs feel and i have come to the conclusion its because i faked or cheated death in some way. i was supposed to die on that beach and im not supposed to be alive. since the beach every part of my life (even before i realized i shouldve died) has felt extremely odd. like just genuinely off in a way, where you wouldnt notice it without some hindsight and i think its bc i was supposed to die. therefore my entire life and story and whatever is happening on this earth is reacting strangely to me interacting with my environment, like a coding issue in a video game. i haven’t slept in days. ive become extremely paranoid, to the point of seeing snd hearing people, and i dont know what to do. i’m so scared and i cant sleep ive been up for days and i just want to be normal again please help me m
2024.05.20 08:35 JMCLtheFirst I was abandoned by my closest people and I can't seem to move on...
So this is going to be a long story, but a very intriguing one (or so my friends say). Bear with me and if you could offer some advice on what to do please share. I know I'm probably just young and naive but I feel like the pain will never stop. Like I'm going to always be held back by this particular experience.
Also sorry for any grammatical or spelling errors, English isn't my first language.
So all of this begins October of 2022 when I 18 M (at the time) moved to a new city to study film. I was lucky enough to have good grades and be so passionate about this art that it kind of felt incredible to have this new beginning. I rented a small house which I decorated with my collections and all my stuff and ended up loving every second spend in it.
I'm Not very social. Thats just a fact. I've always had my school friends and some people from other activities but none of them really felt like they understood me. No sade to them, I really love them, it's just that I know my hobbies and personality are niece and weird so we don't always see eye to eye. So I wanted to overcome my social anxiety and meet new people.
For the first semester I was all alone. Completely. Spent days upon days without leaving my house if I didn't have school and even didn't have any actual human interaction if not necessary. I didn't realise how much I was hurting myself. The Second semester, someone approached me in school and asked if I could help them with the editing for their final movie, let's call him Jacob 18 M. I already was searching for a group project to join in order to pass the class so this felt like a sweet deal. The group was Jacob and 2 girls, let's call them Ellie 18 F and Hannah 18 F.
With time we started talking about more then just the movie. I was really surprised by how many things we had in common. It was the first time someone I met liked musical theatre or (and this is gonna sound sad, please don't judge me) people didn't want me to leave whenever I approached them. They invited me to things, to their homes and after school and to trips at the beach ect. We were together almost every day. Till late at night or through it. Just the 4 of us. Felt like we could rule the world.
One day i thought Ellie was flirting with me. That was a weird feeling. I'm not very good looking and had a lot of extra weight so that was pretty much the first time but my friends told me that was the case from what I was describing. I mentioned it to Jacob and he told me something I didn't expect. He told me him and Ellie were in an open relationship and were hiding it from everyone except Hannah because of his ex who was in school with us. He also confessed he once had a crush on me and that's why he approached me in the first place. He also saw Ellie flirting with me but was ok with it due to the "rules of their relationship".
I was ok with not having a romantic relationship with Ellie. She would actually become one of the closest friends I've ever had. Or so I thought.
I actually started having a crush on Hannah. She loved some of the movies I loved. Had some of my quirks so I didn't feel ashamed around her and she started watching my favourite tv show with me. During our time together everyone (even her sister and Jacob who found out I liked her) told us that when we were together we could only see each other. As if we had a unique way of communication that nobody else could understand.
I confessed my crush and she told me she felt the same way but that there where 2 problems. First that she gets very anxious about relationships, has only ever been to one and had never kissed anyone. I assured her I wasn't going to pressure anything and I only cared for her and wanted to go on a date sometime. She replied she would like that very much. The second problem she confessed was that she was in love with Jacob for months now but nobody knew. Then everything made sense. The things she did for him and all. How she acted around him. I was surprised I didn't notice it before. She told me she wanted to get over it and proceed to ask to kiss me. We kissed a lot but nothing more that night. She went home after a few hours.
The next day Hannah she felt very distant. We wanted to go to the movies with Ellie but she disappeared all day. Late at night she asked my to go for a walk since we lived near each other. Then she told me she wanted to forget everything and last night was a mistake. That her anxiety has gotten into her and although she really wanted a relationship she couldn't be in one. The next few days we talked again and she said she didn't share any of this with Jacob to have someone in the group I could talk to if I needed help. Ellie was that for her.
It was already summer so we all went to our home towns. I missed her a ton. We stilled talked and the other 2 knew something was off with me. About 2 moths later we all went to Hannah's summerhouse for vacation. We were having fun, getting drunk and all that 19-year old stuff. One night me and Hannah were watching my show together and the time felt right so I asked to kiss her. She told me no and finally told me the truth. Turns out she liked that we flirted but after kissing me she realised it wasn't anything more. Also everyone knew except me. But after all this time I had realised I was in love with this girl. I told her if she could keep all of this to herself and she said yes.
We were all still friends. But I couldn't let go. My mental health began to decent and I started feeling like they would leave me out of stuff to go hang out alone and during October I tried talking some time away to see if they would even talk to me if I didn't. They didn't even say good morning once. I tried again and again. Jacob and Ellie said we all need to talk together. They repeated the same words. Like as if it was rehearsed. I went to "the talk".
Jacob did most of the talking. He talked about boundaries and how after everything between me and Hannah the group hasn't been the same. That after I didn't tell him what happened in our vacation they went to her and forced Hannah to do so. They where all attacking me. I heard lie after lie and all followed up with "we just need some time" and that all of this was cause they loved me.
I have discussed what they accused me of with friends, family and therapists. Although I didn't not believe it at first they all confirmed it was finding little details in my day-to-day behaviour (unrelated to all of the above) and using it to kick me out. They didn't intend of even speaking to me again. Lies feed to everyone by Jacob.
I went away. I don't know if it was for the better. But for a few weeks at first and then months later, I went back to my home town. Their lies became actual blame and I got a message from Ellie saying that we are done (just one month after trying to convince me they needed time and confessing she in particular didn't even notice anything until her boyfriend accused me).
Last time I saw any of them was in December when I gave Hannah her Christmas present. I told her I wasn't trying to get her back and I would continue to keep my distance since my first priority is what she wants and I meant that. I really do love her and would do anything for her to be happy. But I miss her a ton.
It's been 5 months since then. I stopped going to school and kept my distance from anyone related to that life. I have depression and cannot think about anything else. I heard that Jacob still talk shut about me to everyone. I have realised what has happened and have discussed this with multiple common friends who have confirmed this. Jacob is Manipulating the other 2 because of the bad relationship with his parents. He knows Ellie won't do anything with anyone else despite the "open" relationship due to her luck of confidence (so it only works for him). She need him to operate in public and to deal with her extreme anxiety so he takes advantage of that and Hannah follows him everywhere with the excuse of just being a good friend.
There are so many things I couldn't include (this is a hugh post already) about more lies and proof that they where bad for me. But I can't move on. I have seeked medical help but I just cant imagine my life in the future without them. Everything is a reminder of what we've been through. Jacob used to call me his family and when I begged him for our friendship back he didn't even care. Not on my birthday, not on new years... never. I lost all of them.
I'm back now. Not sure why, whether I'm back to continue my studies or to see if I could win them back. If I could have Hannah in my life in sime form. But I'll probably see them tomorrow morning (I randomly walked behind them today, don't think they noticed me).
Please if you have any advice share it. I just want to feel happy again. Even for a second.
TL,DR: The girl I'm in love with stopped talking to me along with my 2 best friends. I can't move on and I'm supposed to face them again in school after not seeing them for months. They all lied to me and nothing seem to help. I have depression and I dont want to feel like this for the rest of my life.
submitted by JMCLtheFirst to lostafriend [link] [comments]
Also sorry for any grammatical or spelling errors, English isn't my first language.
So all of this begins October of 2022 when I 18 M (at the time) moved to a new city to study film. I was lucky enough to have good grades and be so passionate about this art that it kind of felt incredible to have this new beginning. I rented a small house which I decorated with my collections and all my stuff and ended up loving every second spend in it.
I'm Not very social. Thats just a fact. I've always had my school friends and some people from other activities but none of them really felt like they understood me. No sade to them, I really love them, it's just that I know my hobbies and personality are niece and weird so we don't always see eye to eye. So I wanted to overcome my social anxiety and meet new people.
For the first semester I was all alone. Completely. Spent days upon days without leaving my house if I didn't have school and even didn't have any actual human interaction if not necessary. I didn't realise how much I was hurting myself. The Second semester, someone approached me in school and asked if I could help them with the editing for their final movie, let's call him Jacob 18 M. I already was searching for a group project to join in order to pass the class so this felt like a sweet deal. The group was Jacob and 2 girls, let's call them Ellie 18 F and Hannah 18 F.
With time we started talking about more then just the movie. I was really surprised by how many things we had in common. It was the first time someone I met liked musical theatre or (and this is gonna sound sad, please don't judge me) people didn't want me to leave whenever I approached them. They invited me to things, to their homes and after school and to trips at the beach ect. We were together almost every day. Till late at night or through it. Just the 4 of us. Felt like we could rule the world.
One day i thought Ellie was flirting with me. That was a weird feeling. I'm not very good looking and had a lot of extra weight so that was pretty much the first time but my friends told me that was the case from what I was describing. I mentioned it to Jacob and he told me something I didn't expect. He told me him and Ellie were in an open relationship and were hiding it from everyone except Hannah because of his ex who was in school with us. He also confessed he once had a crush on me and that's why he approached me in the first place. He also saw Ellie flirting with me but was ok with it due to the "rules of their relationship".
I was ok with not having a romantic relationship with Ellie. She would actually become one of the closest friends I've ever had. Or so I thought.
I actually started having a crush on Hannah. She loved some of the movies I loved. Had some of my quirks so I didn't feel ashamed around her and she started watching my favourite tv show with me. During our time together everyone (even her sister and Jacob who found out I liked her) told us that when we were together we could only see each other. As if we had a unique way of communication that nobody else could understand.
I confessed my crush and she told me she felt the same way but that there where 2 problems. First that she gets very anxious about relationships, has only ever been to one and had never kissed anyone. I assured her I wasn't going to pressure anything and I only cared for her and wanted to go on a date sometime. She replied she would like that very much. The second problem she confessed was that she was in love with Jacob for months now but nobody knew. Then everything made sense. The things she did for him and all. How she acted around him. I was surprised I didn't notice it before. She told me she wanted to get over it and proceed to ask to kiss me. We kissed a lot but nothing more that night. She went home after a few hours.
The next day Hannah she felt very distant. We wanted to go to the movies with Ellie but she disappeared all day. Late at night she asked my to go for a walk since we lived near each other. Then she told me she wanted to forget everything and last night was a mistake. That her anxiety has gotten into her and although she really wanted a relationship she couldn't be in one. The next few days we talked again and she said she didn't share any of this with Jacob to have someone in the group I could talk to if I needed help. Ellie was that for her.
It was already summer so we all went to our home towns. I missed her a ton. We stilled talked and the other 2 knew something was off with me. About 2 moths later we all went to Hannah's summerhouse for vacation. We were having fun, getting drunk and all that 19-year old stuff. One night me and Hannah were watching my show together and the time felt right so I asked to kiss her. She told me no and finally told me the truth. Turns out she liked that we flirted but after kissing me she realised it wasn't anything more. Also everyone knew except me. But after all this time I had realised I was in love with this girl. I told her if she could keep all of this to herself and she said yes.
We were all still friends. But I couldn't let go. My mental health began to decent and I started feeling like they would leave me out of stuff to go hang out alone and during October I tried talking some time away to see if they would even talk to me if I didn't. They didn't even say good morning once. I tried again and again. Jacob and Ellie said we all need to talk together. They repeated the same words. Like as if it was rehearsed. I went to "the talk".
Jacob did most of the talking. He talked about boundaries and how after everything between me and Hannah the group hasn't been the same. That after I didn't tell him what happened in our vacation they went to her and forced Hannah to do so. They where all attacking me. I heard lie after lie and all followed up with "we just need some time" and that all of this was cause they loved me.
I have discussed what they accused me of with friends, family and therapists. Although I didn't not believe it at first they all confirmed it was finding little details in my day-to-day behaviour (unrelated to all of the above) and using it to kick me out. They didn't intend of even speaking to me again. Lies feed to everyone by Jacob.
I went away. I don't know if it was for the better. But for a few weeks at first and then months later, I went back to my home town. Their lies became actual blame and I got a message from Ellie saying that we are done (just one month after trying to convince me they needed time and confessing she in particular didn't even notice anything until her boyfriend accused me).
Last time I saw any of them was in December when I gave Hannah her Christmas present. I told her I wasn't trying to get her back and I would continue to keep my distance since my first priority is what she wants and I meant that. I really do love her and would do anything for her to be happy. But I miss her a ton.
It's been 5 months since then. I stopped going to school and kept my distance from anyone related to that life. I have depression and cannot think about anything else. I heard that Jacob still talk shut about me to everyone. I have realised what has happened and have discussed this with multiple common friends who have confirmed this. Jacob is Manipulating the other 2 because of the bad relationship with his parents. He knows Ellie won't do anything with anyone else despite the "open" relationship due to her luck of confidence (so it only works for him). She need him to operate in public and to deal with her extreme anxiety so he takes advantage of that and Hannah follows him everywhere with the excuse of just being a good friend.
There are so many things I couldn't include (this is a hugh post already) about more lies and proof that they where bad for me. But I can't move on. I have seeked medical help but I just cant imagine my life in the future without them. Everything is a reminder of what we've been through. Jacob used to call me his family and when I begged him for our friendship back he didn't even care. Not on my birthday, not on new years... never. I lost all of them.
I'm back now. Not sure why, whether I'm back to continue my studies or to see if I could win them back. If I could have Hannah in my life in sime form. But I'll probably see them tomorrow morning (I randomly walked behind them today, don't think they noticed me).
Please if you have any advice share it. I just want to feel happy again. Even for a second.
TL,DR: The girl I'm in love with stopped talking to me along with my 2 best friends. I can't move on and I'm supposed to face them again in school after not seeing them for months. They all lied to me and nothing seem to help. I have depression and I dont want to feel like this for the rest of my life.
2024.05.20 08:33 throwaway7272748593 i think i was supposed to die
i think i’m supposed to be dead
about a week ago i was on vacation in florida visiting family and we went to the beach. while there i had a blast (apart from losing my prescription glasses in the ocean) and i was fine for the next few hours. shortly after i got back to my hotel room i started replaying every second on the beach. i feel in my legs nonstop the way the waves made my feet and legs feel and i have come to the conclusion its because i faked or cheated death in some way. i was supposed to die on that beach and im not supposed to be alive. since the beach every part of my life (even before i realized i shouldve died) has felt extremely odd. like just genuinely off in a way, where you wouldnt notice it without some hindsight and i think its bc i was supposed to die. therefore my entire life and story and whatever is happening on this earth is reacting strangely to me interacting with my environment, like a coding issue in a video game. i haven’t slept in days. ive become extremely paranoid, to the point of seeing snd hearing people, and i dont know what to do. i’m so scared and i cant sleep ive been up for days and i just want to be normal again please help me m
submitted by throwaway7272748593 to helpme [link] [comments]
about a week ago i was on vacation in florida visiting family and we went to the beach. while there i had a blast (apart from losing my prescription glasses in the ocean) and i was fine for the next few hours. shortly after i got back to my hotel room i started replaying every second on the beach. i feel in my legs nonstop the way the waves made my feet and legs feel and i have come to the conclusion its because i faked or cheated death in some way. i was supposed to die on that beach and im not supposed to be alive. since the beach every part of my life (even before i realized i shouldve died) has felt extremely odd. like just genuinely off in a way, where you wouldnt notice it without some hindsight and i think its bc i was supposed to die. therefore my entire life and story and whatever is happening on this earth is reacting strangely to me interacting with my environment, like a coding issue in a video game. i haven’t slept in days. ive become extremely paranoid, to the point of seeing snd hearing people, and i dont know what to do. i’m so scared and i cant sleep ive been up for days and i just want to be normal again please help me m
2024.05.20 08:30 throwaway7272748593 i think i’m supposed to be dead
about a week ago i was on vacation in florida visiting family and we went to the beach. while there i had a blast (apart from losing my prescription glasses in the ocean) and i was fine for the next few hours. shortly after i got back to my hotel room i started replaying every second on the beach. i feel in my legs nonstop the way the waves made my feet and legs feel and i have come to the conclusion its because i faked or cheated death in some way. i was supposed to die on that beach and im not supposed to be alive. since the beach every part of my life (even before i realized i shouldve died) has felt extremely odd. like just genuinely off in a way, where you wouldnt notice it without some hindsight and i think its bc i was supposed to die. therefore my entire life and story and whatever is happening on this earth is reacting strangely to me interacting with my environment, like a coding issue in a video game. i haven’t slept in days. ive become extremely paranoid, to the point of seeing snd hearing people, and i dont know what to do. i’m so scared and i cant sleep ive been up for days and i just want to be normal again please help me m
submitted by throwaway7272748593 to TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]
2024.05.20 07:38 anonymous94808 Mid life crisis
I 35f am at some weird stage in my life. I think I’m having a mid life (at this rate) crisis.
I have two kids. How can I describe my life? My life is western privileged. Rat race. Full time 9-5. Daycare dropoff pickup. A sliver of miserable vacations a year. Creeping around my house after dark just trying to use the bathroom quietly so my partner doesn’t know I’m up drinking to get away from the reality of the day and the next day. Wake up miserable. Kids often don’t listen. I’m capable of making changes but haven’t seen anything come to fruition yet. I feel like I’m not being heard, certainly not seen. I am an invisible person. My “friends” are few, I don’t think I have ever had a single person I can wholly confide in. I only regret this because I know some do. I used to feel this way about my younger sister but we had a fight a few years ago and that relationship has become more distant. I am alone, floating in a sea, surrounded by doubt and confusion. Others seem happy, grounded, confident. Everything with me is fake. I have social anxiety which masks itself as brash confidence, even more so when I drink to rid myself of it. I can’t keep up. I don’t want to. All of the things I used to be able to get away with are coming to pass. Drinking to excess with university friends in my late 20s and early 30s for fun has now come to drinking on my own in secret at home to quell my feeling of hopelessness and anxiety. I am not as good as others, I lack many things which seem effortless to those I emulate. I am an increasingly sad person, questioning myself constantly. Who am I? What am I doing this for? How do I be more confident in my life?
I am definitely looking at things more glass half empty these days. The father I idolized now seems, 4 years after his death, far away and paltry. The choices of my parents around my childhood self centred and unnecessary, if not callous. Unthoughtful.
I rarely show my true feelings to anyone, I hold everything inside. Girl there aren’t enough hours in the life of my therapist to properly capture this pain. I hide everything so well that everything just seems fine and I just keep going. Waiting for something to snap, some realization by someone that I’m not okay. I can’t do it for myself. Shame and embarrassment when I do melt down, smoothing everything over in the aftermath and convincing I am okay.
All those years in school, all that time perfecting one thing or another, and for what? Simply people who have good jobs and a stable family life seem so much more palatable right now. For all my “smarts”, my schooling, my on paper this and that, I’m just a stubborn, introverted, moody individual who has never been and never will be cool. Passing down the same neuroses to my own children, as hard as I try not to. They learn from my behaviour, not words, and guess what? They’re just like me. And for what?
submitted by anonymous94808 to alcoholism [link] [comments]
I have two kids. How can I describe my life? My life is western privileged. Rat race. Full time 9-5. Daycare dropoff pickup. A sliver of miserable vacations a year. Creeping around my house after dark just trying to use the bathroom quietly so my partner doesn’t know I’m up drinking to get away from the reality of the day and the next day. Wake up miserable. Kids often don’t listen. I’m capable of making changes but haven’t seen anything come to fruition yet. I feel like I’m not being heard, certainly not seen. I am an invisible person. My “friends” are few, I don’t think I have ever had a single person I can wholly confide in. I only regret this because I know some do. I used to feel this way about my younger sister but we had a fight a few years ago and that relationship has become more distant. I am alone, floating in a sea, surrounded by doubt and confusion. Others seem happy, grounded, confident. Everything with me is fake. I have social anxiety which masks itself as brash confidence, even more so when I drink to rid myself of it. I can’t keep up. I don’t want to. All of the things I used to be able to get away with are coming to pass. Drinking to excess with university friends in my late 20s and early 30s for fun has now come to drinking on my own in secret at home to quell my feeling of hopelessness and anxiety. I am not as good as others, I lack many things which seem effortless to those I emulate. I am an increasingly sad person, questioning myself constantly. Who am I? What am I doing this for? How do I be more confident in my life?
I am definitely looking at things more glass half empty these days. The father I idolized now seems, 4 years after his death, far away and paltry. The choices of my parents around my childhood self centred and unnecessary, if not callous. Unthoughtful.
I rarely show my true feelings to anyone, I hold everything inside. Girl there aren’t enough hours in the life of my therapist to properly capture this pain. I hide everything so well that everything just seems fine and I just keep going. Waiting for something to snap, some realization by someone that I’m not okay. I can’t do it for myself. Shame and embarrassment when I do melt down, smoothing everything over in the aftermath and convincing I am okay.
All those years in school, all that time perfecting one thing or another, and for what? Simply people who have good jobs and a stable family life seem so much more palatable right now. For all my “smarts”, my schooling, my on paper this and that, I’m just a stubborn, introverted, moody individual who has never been and never will be cool. Passing down the same neuroses to my own children, as hard as I try not to. They learn from my behaviour, not words, and guess what? They’re just like me. And for what?
2024.05.20 07:08 Open-Two-9689 Eagle Project Question
My Daughter had her Eagle project workday Saturday - and NO troop leadership showed up - SM was on a family vacation, ASM announced the day before she wouldn’t be there and the other adult leader said he and his scouts (4) would be there - then one of them texted middle of the day saying my daughter wasn’t clear when it was. (She initially had the date wrong on band, but once she realized it she corrected the post, commented that she put the correct date, AND created a new post with the correct date, as well as announcing it at COH and weekly meetings.) so the only adults there were her mother and I plus my sons best friends mom (all 3 have done YPT, her mother and I are both MBC’s.) and an ASM from my sons troop for about 5 minutes when he dropped of his kids. So my question is: will that have any bearing on her completing the rest of the steps to finish her Eagle?
submitted by Open-Two-9689 to BSA [link] [comments]
2024.05.20 07:07 Repulsive_Touch_8724 How can I find a way out?
I’m lost in a world that doesn’t exist anymore. Let me give a little context on this.
I’m from southern part of India (29 M) had a not normal childhood and my family isn’t exactly what one would call normal, it was great until one point but when I was around 13-14 my parents joined a religious group (not a cult) but were so much invested in that they forced me and my brother to follow their ideology and the path as a family, the time me and my brother realised that the path wasn’t for us it started a turmoil in the family causing lot of arguments and situations are still the same. My parents wanted me and my brother to stop our education and join the religious community, after a struggle and lot of arguing we opted out of that. It was at that time I met my love of my life, she was such a wonderful person. That was my chance to have my own family, feel like home. After we graduated I joined in the same company she was placed in our final year so I could be with her (not insecure but just wanted to be with her) we had our ups and downs like usual relationships but I was determined to always make things work and so did she I thought, I think she kept all the downs at one place and one day after ~8yrs into our relationship she decided to call it quits. I couldn’t accept that, wanted to fight for her and make her see the ups too, it was the time of Covid initial stages where the world stopped moving. All I could do was talk or chat but couldn’t meet, she stopped listening, even blocked me everywhere, after a lot of struggle got her to talk but only to know that she has already moved on within a few days, some guy who was able to be there in the time. After what felt like a world-ending struggle she managed to break every contact with me. She wasn’t to be blamed even I didn’t want to be with myself I was just glad that someone wanted to, just wished it would last longer.
I was heartbroken, devastated, depressed so much that I couldn’t even imagine living anymore. After contant support from my brother and friends I joined therapy but it didn’t feel like it helped. It’s been 4 years since she ever spoke to me, she moved to a different country for masters. I haven’t been able to regain my will to live, I’m not going to kill myself and cause pain to my brother or my friends. I tried many things to move on, therapy didn’t help much, tried dating apps, dated a woman for a while but couldn’t really connect with her, gave therapy one more shot didn’t work out, took a long vacation solo and with friends but everything still feels like it’s still happening. I look at my phone hoping every notification was a text from a person who probably doesn’t even think about me. I look into the crowds hoping to find a known silhouette. I don’t know how to get myself out. I don’t know how to stop looking for my home which doesn’t exist anymore.
I don’t feel like asking for help from anyone anymore, my brother or my friends. I’ve imposed myself enough and don’t feel like disturbing their lives for my own. I just want to sleep one night peacefully. I want to feel alive again. Smile without having to force it for the sake of people around me. I don’t know what to do.
Sorry for the long post.
submitted by Repulsive_Touch_8724 to hyderabad [link] [comments]
I’m from southern part of India (29 M) had a not normal childhood and my family isn’t exactly what one would call normal, it was great until one point but when I was around 13-14 my parents joined a religious group (not a cult) but were so much invested in that they forced me and my brother to follow their ideology and the path as a family, the time me and my brother realised that the path wasn’t for us it started a turmoil in the family causing lot of arguments and situations are still the same. My parents wanted me and my brother to stop our education and join the religious community, after a struggle and lot of arguing we opted out of that. It was at that time I met my love of my life, she was such a wonderful person. That was my chance to have my own family, feel like home. After we graduated I joined in the same company she was placed in our final year so I could be with her (not insecure but just wanted to be with her) we had our ups and downs like usual relationships but I was determined to always make things work and so did she I thought, I think she kept all the downs at one place and one day after ~8yrs into our relationship she decided to call it quits. I couldn’t accept that, wanted to fight for her and make her see the ups too, it was the time of Covid initial stages where the world stopped moving. All I could do was talk or chat but couldn’t meet, she stopped listening, even blocked me everywhere, after a lot of struggle got her to talk but only to know that she has already moved on within a few days, some guy who was able to be there in the time. After what felt like a world-ending struggle she managed to break every contact with me. She wasn’t to be blamed even I didn’t want to be with myself I was just glad that someone wanted to, just wished it would last longer.
I was heartbroken, devastated, depressed so much that I couldn’t even imagine living anymore. After contant support from my brother and friends I joined therapy but it didn’t feel like it helped. It’s been 4 years since she ever spoke to me, she moved to a different country for masters. I haven’t been able to regain my will to live, I’m not going to kill myself and cause pain to my brother or my friends. I tried many things to move on, therapy didn’t help much, tried dating apps, dated a woman for a while but couldn’t really connect with her, gave therapy one more shot didn’t work out, took a long vacation solo and with friends but everything still feels like it’s still happening. I look at my phone hoping every notification was a text from a person who probably doesn’t even think about me. I look into the crowds hoping to find a known silhouette. I don’t know how to get myself out. I don’t know how to stop looking for my home which doesn’t exist anymore.
I don’t feel like asking for help from anyone anymore, my brother or my friends. I’ve imposed myself enough and don’t feel like disturbing their lives for my own. I just want to sleep one night peacefully. I want to feel alive again. Smile without having to force it for the sake of people around me. I don’t know what to do.
Sorry for the long post.
2024.05.20 07:06 books_bikes_boobs 30 years old but essentially still a teenager. Looking for advice, inspiration, anything.
Hey everyone. I'll try to keep this brief.
I'm thirty and my life is barely different from when I was a teenager. In the realm of love and romance I'm about what you'd expect (a "wizard" as it used to be called). I haven't had a real job pretty much ever but I've started and quit A LOT, like nineteen total that I can remember, including a very good job that's easily the second biggest regret of my life behind not getting to know my mom more. I don't have much life experience, work experience, social experience, or romantic experience. That's why I say I really just feel like I'm a teenager still.
My mom died in February after a prolonged illness but she rapidly deteriorated. One day she was sick in the same regular way she had been for months and the second day I could barely hear her speak and the third day she was pretty much unconscious. I managed to talk to her on the second day and promised I would get my life together.
It's been a few months and I'm struggling again. The primary advice I'm looking for is work related. I have never essentially worked for more than a few months at a time and I'm 30. It is brutal trying to get interviews for any decent job. Hell, I know it's hard for people with regular work histories. I've resorted to lying on my resume and making up experience (unrelated to the jobs I'm looking for; just to clear the gap up a little). Honestly, the only thing I can get is working at Amazon, which I've done before and hated (it's multiple parts of those 19 prior jobs). I can't ask anyone in my life for help because my resume has no real work experience. And it just seems like any job I can get means losing my weekends or working overnights. On top of that I have around $18k in credit card debt I need to pay off before I can move out or anything like that. It's hard not to feel doomed, especially when my friends are traveling the world full time, making hundreds of thousands of dollars, opening businesses, starting families, buying homes, etc. Meanwhile I've never had a job or even a girlfriend, and I'm not building a career or wealth or anything.
My life isn't totally doomed. I managed to get a college degree, graduating in 2020 with a computer science degree from a decent school. I only have Dep. of Education student loans which means with the SAVE plan I'm pretty safe on those. I do have a solid group of friends. I'm not homeless and can live at home. I recently became an artist and am very driven about it and into it which has been a major boon in my life.
But some of that good stuff is a double edged sword. If I didn't have a degree then getting one would be an obvious step. But I do have one, and I have no work experience (let alone experience in any white collar field), and it's been over three years since graduating so I'm not in that "new grad" territory any longer. How can I possibly solve this? My goal is to become a technical writer. I'm worried I'll never have a shot again at upward mobility.
Similarly, my friends are great but like It's becoming harder to relate to them, and if I take a job working weekends or overnights it'll be even harder to ever see them. They're already talking about a big group vacation this summer but I won't be able to go because jobs in America won't even give you reasonable unpaid time off. One of the ballasts of my mental health is becoming an anchor.
Anyway, I'm not looking for advice that's really specific. I don't think it'd be possible to give any. I guess I'm just curious for general advice or stories or any inspiration or hope you can offer.
Thanks.
submitted by books_bikes_boobs to DecidingToBeBetter [link] [comments]
I'm thirty and my life is barely different from when I was a teenager. In the realm of love and romance I'm about what you'd expect (a "wizard" as it used to be called). I haven't had a real job pretty much ever but I've started and quit A LOT, like nineteen total that I can remember, including a very good job that's easily the second biggest regret of my life behind not getting to know my mom more. I don't have much life experience, work experience, social experience, or romantic experience. That's why I say I really just feel like I'm a teenager still.
My mom died in February after a prolonged illness but she rapidly deteriorated. One day she was sick in the same regular way she had been for months and the second day I could barely hear her speak and the third day she was pretty much unconscious. I managed to talk to her on the second day and promised I would get my life together.
It's been a few months and I'm struggling again. The primary advice I'm looking for is work related. I have never essentially worked for more than a few months at a time and I'm 30. It is brutal trying to get interviews for any decent job. Hell, I know it's hard for people with regular work histories. I've resorted to lying on my resume and making up experience (unrelated to the jobs I'm looking for; just to clear the gap up a little). Honestly, the only thing I can get is working at Amazon, which I've done before and hated (it's multiple parts of those 19 prior jobs). I can't ask anyone in my life for help because my resume has no real work experience. And it just seems like any job I can get means losing my weekends or working overnights. On top of that I have around $18k in credit card debt I need to pay off before I can move out or anything like that. It's hard not to feel doomed, especially when my friends are traveling the world full time, making hundreds of thousands of dollars, opening businesses, starting families, buying homes, etc. Meanwhile I've never had a job or even a girlfriend, and I'm not building a career or wealth or anything.
My life isn't totally doomed. I managed to get a college degree, graduating in 2020 with a computer science degree from a decent school. I only have Dep. of Education student loans which means with the SAVE plan I'm pretty safe on those. I do have a solid group of friends. I'm not homeless and can live at home. I recently became an artist and am very driven about it and into it which has been a major boon in my life.
But some of that good stuff is a double edged sword. If I didn't have a degree then getting one would be an obvious step. But I do have one, and I have no work experience (let alone experience in any white collar field), and it's been over three years since graduating so I'm not in that "new grad" territory any longer. How can I possibly solve this? My goal is to become a technical writer. I'm worried I'll never have a shot again at upward mobility.
Similarly, my friends are great but like It's becoming harder to relate to them, and if I take a job working weekends or overnights it'll be even harder to ever see them. They're already talking about a big group vacation this summer but I won't be able to go because jobs in America won't even give you reasonable unpaid time off. One of the ballasts of my mental health is becoming an anchor.
Anyway, I'm not looking for advice that's really specific. I don't think it'd be possible to give any. I guess I'm just curious for general advice or stories or any inspiration or hope you can offer.
Thanks.
2024.05.20 07:05 cornxoxo1 I made a mistake and may have outed myself as taking testosterone. What should I do?
Hello! I am 20 years old. I don't live with my parents but my parents pay my rent. So still incredibly financially dependent. They also pay for my college and give me allowances for grocery's and things. In fact, I use that allowance to pay for doctor's visit's and my testosterone.
I have a website, a blog I created, to post poems and other personal writings. I made it in highnschool and would share it with close friends. I shared it with my mom. She ended up turning on post notifications so that whenever I post a new entry she would be updated. It was sweet, knowing she wanted to know how I felt about things... In that way.
Then today. She often accidentally genders me correctly. (I have a brother) So I say "He is fine." Almost like i'm warming her up to the idea haha...
I've come out to my family as nonbinary when I was around 16. My mom said she would never call me He.
So today when I said "He is fine." She said "can you stop saying that. I did not give birth to a he, I am not calling you that."
I fought back only slightly. I wasn't planning on nor prepared to come out to her in that moment.
My original plan was to take testosterone and until she started asking questions, say nothing. And when she did start asking questions I planned to answer them truthfully. As by that time the changes would had already really began to take effect.
All that to say, after the incident today. I went to my blog. I wrote something. Titled "You hate me. I know you hate me. You'll hate me once you find out what I've done."
Pretty dramatic lol I know but that's the whole point. I made a space for myself to express myself however I felt necessary. I mention the exact incident (meaning she knows I'm talking about her). One of the lines are "Today I thought I should never tell you. That I practiced voice training instead and just went to the gym a bunch. That will be easier for you. You'll hate me less."
I hit publish. Feeling relieved to have gotten these negative thoughts and emotion's off my chest. As well as honestly rethinking my speak until spoken to policy. Thinking, maybe I should lie for as long as I can.
Then later today I got a notification. Someone was on my website, reading that post. I knew, I instantly remembered. She gets notifications for when I post. I try to quickly delete and block her member profile. Trying to kick her from viewing it. Nothing works. I had set it up a while back so you put in a password before entering the site after a fall out with someone who had access to it, but I guess fot previous members it bypasses that.
Then I heard her walking up the stairs. I knew.
She comes in and closes the door, she never does that, and sit's on my bed. (I'm home for summer)
She tells me that she saw my post and asks if I think that she hates me. I say no, its nuance and that I forgot she got notifications for that. That she wasn't supposed to see it. It's not enough for her. She ask's what I did. I hesitate. I say "I came out as nonbinary before and (don't remember likely giberish) that's what I did is be who I am." I didn't know what to say. I'm not a good liar.
I have only been on testosterone for 5 weeks. I have got to therapy for a couple months discussing my gender and whether or not I wanted to start hormone replacement therapy. I have been contemplating it however, for around a year before starting therapy. I did this all by myself. I decided to tell my brother (37) after going to my consultation. He had his own reservations but he told me he loved me no matter what. He still misgenders me but his hearts in the right place and right now i'll take what I can get. My dad is the quiet type. He doesn't hold a lot of power in our household and is likely quiet because of it. I know i can't rely on him for any impactful support. I also have no idea whether there would be any.
I thought about calling my brother after it happened but he is ignorant on the matter. I don't know the lengths he would go to protect me. I am unsure and that scares me. I don't have any trans friends on HRT who could advise me.
I remember at my consultation my doctor expressed real concern for whether I had a supportive family unit or not. I told him I don't think my mother would could me off or disown me (she's the breadwinner) but thats when I was under the impression that I would have full control over when and how I would tell her.
Now. I am feeling that fear a bit stronger. I am gunning for my PHD in psychology. I live in an apartment near campus. I am extremely privileged. Although, my relationship with my immediate family is extremely dysfunctional it works.
Based off what she read the likely hood is at the very least she has an inkling that I am on T. I ended the conversation by saying I wasn't ready to have this conversation right now and she wasn't meant to read that. I asked her to turn the notifications off :P (stupid, I just didn't know what to do or say).
I drafted the post and made a new website moving everything on to there. I decided I will no longer share that website with anyone. It's for my eyes only. Until I can be sure someone deserves to gain access to its contents.
Anyway, any advice on how I should handle this? Right now we are both leaving to go on separate vacations. So I will be taking my medicine with me and I won't have to worry about her possibly snooping through my things to find out if I am or not. I will likely need to hide my T when I come back. I don't think telling her now is a good idea. I have a therapy appointment next tuesday so I will also ask my therapist for advice. Support or encouragement is also welcome :)
submitted by cornxoxo1 to ftm [link] [comments]
I have a website, a blog I created, to post poems and other personal writings. I made it in highnschool and would share it with close friends. I shared it with my mom. She ended up turning on post notifications so that whenever I post a new entry she would be updated. It was sweet, knowing she wanted to know how I felt about things... In that way.
Then today. She often accidentally genders me correctly. (I have a brother) So I say "He is fine." Almost like i'm warming her up to the idea haha...
I've come out to my family as nonbinary when I was around 16. My mom said she would never call me He.
So today when I said "He is fine." She said "can you stop saying that. I did not give birth to a he, I am not calling you that."
I fought back only slightly. I wasn't planning on nor prepared to come out to her in that moment.
My original plan was to take testosterone and until she started asking questions, say nothing. And when she did start asking questions I planned to answer them truthfully. As by that time the changes would had already really began to take effect.
All that to say, after the incident today. I went to my blog. I wrote something. Titled "You hate me. I know you hate me. You'll hate me once you find out what I've done."
Pretty dramatic lol I know but that's the whole point. I made a space for myself to express myself however I felt necessary. I mention the exact incident (meaning she knows I'm talking about her). One of the lines are "Today I thought I should never tell you. That I practiced voice training instead and just went to the gym a bunch. That will be easier for you. You'll hate me less."
I hit publish. Feeling relieved to have gotten these negative thoughts and emotion's off my chest. As well as honestly rethinking my speak until spoken to policy. Thinking, maybe I should lie for as long as I can.
Then later today I got a notification. Someone was on my website, reading that post. I knew, I instantly remembered. She gets notifications for when I post. I try to quickly delete and block her member profile. Trying to kick her from viewing it. Nothing works. I had set it up a while back so you put in a password before entering the site after a fall out with someone who had access to it, but I guess fot previous members it bypasses that.
Then I heard her walking up the stairs. I knew.
She comes in and closes the door, she never does that, and sit's on my bed. (I'm home for summer)
She tells me that she saw my post and asks if I think that she hates me. I say no, its nuance and that I forgot she got notifications for that. That she wasn't supposed to see it. It's not enough for her. She ask's what I did. I hesitate. I say "I came out as nonbinary before and (don't remember likely giberish) that's what I did is be who I am." I didn't know what to say. I'm not a good liar.
I have only been on testosterone for 5 weeks. I have got to therapy for a couple months discussing my gender and whether or not I wanted to start hormone replacement therapy. I have been contemplating it however, for around a year before starting therapy. I did this all by myself. I decided to tell my brother (37) after going to my consultation. He had his own reservations but he told me he loved me no matter what. He still misgenders me but his hearts in the right place and right now i'll take what I can get. My dad is the quiet type. He doesn't hold a lot of power in our household and is likely quiet because of it. I know i can't rely on him for any impactful support. I also have no idea whether there would be any.
I thought about calling my brother after it happened but he is ignorant on the matter. I don't know the lengths he would go to protect me. I am unsure and that scares me. I don't have any trans friends on HRT who could advise me.
I remember at my consultation my doctor expressed real concern for whether I had a supportive family unit or not. I told him I don't think my mother would could me off or disown me (she's the breadwinner) but thats when I was under the impression that I would have full control over when and how I would tell her.
Now. I am feeling that fear a bit stronger. I am gunning for my PHD in psychology. I live in an apartment near campus. I am extremely privileged. Although, my relationship with my immediate family is extremely dysfunctional it works.
Based off what she read the likely hood is at the very least she has an inkling that I am on T. I ended the conversation by saying I wasn't ready to have this conversation right now and she wasn't meant to read that. I asked her to turn the notifications off :P (stupid, I just didn't know what to do or say).
I drafted the post and made a new website moving everything on to there. I decided I will no longer share that website with anyone. It's for my eyes only. Until I can be sure someone deserves to gain access to its contents.
Anyway, any advice on how I should handle this? Right now we are both leaving to go on separate vacations. So I will be taking my medicine with me and I won't have to worry about her possibly snooping through my things to find out if I am or not. I will likely need to hide my T when I come back. I don't think telling her now is a good idea. I have a therapy appointment next tuesday so I will also ask my therapist for advice. Support or encouragement is also welcome :)
2024.05.20 06:54 Jetblackheart21 20 [M4NB/F] #Online #USA Dream a little dream of me
GI'm from Utah County and non-Mormon, so you can see the obvious fun I have dating /S. I'm not making this a sob story; the real reason I'm posting here is that it feels a bit more personal than most dating apps. I'm a pretty cheerful, confident guy. I can be a massive smartass and yap a lot, but I can have serious conversations and value communication. So, if you need an ear, I'm game, but do expect the same in return. I tend to be out and about a lot, usually doing stupid stuff and trying not to get hurt or in trouble while doing it. Most of the time, I'm a pro, but there are quite a few stories where I fumbled, lol.
I like to work out. I mostly do calisthenics. I'm admittedly fairly skinny but decently toned. I've also taken up running, but I'm not Usain Bolt, lol. I also play video games, mostly military simulation games like Arma and OHD. I also play platformers like Mario and Sonic, with Sonic being my go-to for my neurodivergent self. I'm big into history, mostly WW2 and the Cold War, and some WW1. I'm actually working on making a Cold War-themed board game.
On top of being a nerd, I do have a sensitive side. I know some of you have probably rolled your eyes, but hey, I like to write poems, and I'm a huge flirt when I warm up to someone. I'm looking for a sweet, caring person around my age and preferably living in the USA. I'm not picky, it's more important that we click, you know?
As for my values, I'm very liberal and an atheist. You don't have to share my views exactly, but I'm being upfront now to avoid causing issues later. I drink sometimes and don't use drugs. I don't care if you use pot, but anything harder is a no-go zone for me, as my family has some history with addiction. If you want to talk, I'm down to give you my Snap or Discord in DM
submitted by Jetblackheart21 to ForeverAloneDating [link] [comments]
I like to work out. I mostly do calisthenics. I'm admittedly fairly skinny but decently toned. I've also taken up running, but I'm not Usain Bolt, lol. I also play video games, mostly military simulation games like Arma and OHD. I also play platformers like Mario and Sonic, with Sonic being my go-to for my neurodivergent self. I'm big into history, mostly WW2 and the Cold War, and some WW1. I'm actually working on making a Cold War-themed board game.
On top of being a nerd, I do have a sensitive side. I know some of you have probably rolled your eyes, but hey, I like to write poems, and I'm a huge flirt when I warm up to someone. I'm looking for a sweet, caring person around my age and preferably living in the USA. I'm not picky, it's more important that we click, you know?
As for my values, I'm very liberal and an atheist. You don't have to share my views exactly, but I'm being upfront now to avoid causing issues later. I drink sometimes and don't use drugs. I don't care if you use pot, but anything harder is a no-go zone for me, as my family has some history with addiction. If you want to talk, I'm down to give you my Snap or Discord in DM
2024.05.20 06:50 astrowithakshay Aaj Ka Rashifal 20 May 2024: Good news will come into the lives of people of these zodiac signs today, know how your day will be
 | Today's Horoscope 20 May 2024: submitted by astrowithakshay to u/astrowithakshay [link] [comments] Aaj Ka Rashifal 20 May 2024 Aries- Today the financial condition of Aries people will be strong. There will be a happy atmosphere in family life. Will spend quality time with family. Seniors can divide the money among the children. There will be many opportunities for personal growth, but you will also face many challenges in life. There will be an opportunity to change jobs. There will be important changes in professional life. Office performance will be excellent. A good image will remain intact in management. Romantic life will be good. Relationships with spouses will become stronger. Taurus- Be a little careful in financial matters today. Don't hesitate to seek advice from a financial expert if needed. Obstacles in work will be removed with the support of family. There will be chances of progress in job and business. Hard work will yield results. The boss in the office will praise your work. Stay away from office politics. Focus on your work. Don't hesitate to take responsibility for new work. This will increase the chances of career growth. Relationship problems will go away. There will be new exciting turns in love life. Gemini – Today is going to give mixed results. The mind will be troubled due to excess expenses. Some big decisions may have to be taken in the family. There are chances of a long journey in connection with work. Focus on your career goals. Make every effort to achieve success. There will be a very busy schedule in professional life. Work pressure will increase. Don't bring office stress home. Spend time with family. There will be a happy atmosphere in love life. Do yoga and meditation daily. This will keep you mentally and physically healthy. Cancer- Today will be a very auspicious day. Your skills and creativity will be appreciated in the office. Religious functions can be organized at home. Interest in spiritual work will increase. You can plan a trip with family. There will be a pleasant atmosphere in the house due to the arrival of guests. Take decisions related to money very thoughtfully. There will be emotional disturbance today. The mind will remain troubled due to fear of the unknown. Don't hesitate to share your emotions with your partner. This will keep love and romance intact in relationships. Leo – Today Leo people will take part in social work. Take a break from your daily routine. Engage in self-care activities. Take a healthy diet. Keep an eye on new opportunities for financial gain. Today, copywriters, editors, and other professionals will get many golden opportunities for career growth. It is possible to organize auspicious functions at home. Social status and prestige will increase. The mind will remain happy. Love will increase in a romantic life. The relationship with your partner will be strong and deep. Virgo – Today you will be appreciated in society. Your work will yield pleasant results. Will be interested in educational work. You can plan a vacation with your family. Pay attention to the health of family members. You may have to provide financial help to a brother or sister or a close friend. Single people will meet someone interesting. Love and trust will remain in relationships. Maintain good relations with colleagues in the office. Stay away from office politics and try to improve your performance. Libra – Today your financial condition will improve. You will get relief from problems in family life. There will be chances to travel abroad. Interest in social work will increase. There will be new opportunities for financial gain with the advice of a close friend. Will be interested in spirituality. Energy and confidence will increase. Romantic life will be good. The emotional bond with your partner will be strong. Do not be careless about your health. Avoid consuming oily and spicy food. Include food rich in protein and nutrition in your diet. Scorpio – Today there will be a happy atmosphere in the family life of Scorpio people. There will be positive energy in the house. Younger brothers and sisters will achieve new achievements in their careers. Will get support from family members. Long pending work will be successful. Be prepared to control increasing expenses today. Pay attention to your fitness. Do yoga and exercise daily. Engage in a new fitness activity. This will keep your overall health good. Sagittarius – Today will prove to be auspicious and fruitful. The economic situation will be strong. Money stuck for a long time will be returned. You can make your lover meet the family. Indulge in new adventure activities. Explore new things in life. You can plan to travel somewhere with family or friends. You will be appreciated in the society by helping the needy. Your performance will be good in the office. There will be a happy atmosphere in romantic life. Spend quality time with your partner and don't hesitate to share your emotions with them. This will increase love in relationships. Capricorn – Today, positivity will increase in the lives of Capricorn people. New achievements will be achieved in my career. Will get support from family. There will be chances of traveling. Will attend some family functions with relatives. Focus on saving money. Make a new financial plan. Control unnecessary expenses. This will strengthen your financial position. The inflow of money will increase and material wealth will increase. A special person will enter the love life of single people. Aquarius – Today the financial condition of Aquarius people will be good. The inflow of money will increase. Females can plan to purchase household appliances or electronic devices. Be a little careful while traveling. While making online payments stay alert. You will get relief from long-standing problems. The decisions taken today related to money will prove to be correct. But do not blindly trust anyone in financial matters. Do not invest without doing research. Love life will be good. There will be plenty of love and passion in relationships. Pisces – People of Pisces should not take any hasty decision today. This may cause harm. Be ready to showcase your talent in the office. Can go somewhere with family. There will be happiness and peace in the family. The economic situation will improve. But manage money smartly. Control unnecessary expenses. Take money-related decisions wisely. Pay attention to your health. Adopt a healthy lifestyle. Solve relationship problems together. This will strengthen and deepen the relationship with your partner. Akshay Jamdagni: Expert in Astrology, Vastu, Numerology, Horoscope Reading, Education, Business, Health, Festivals, and Puja, provide you with the best solutions and suggestions for your life’s betterment. 9837376839 |
2024.05.20 06:11 Sweet-Count2557 Best Family Beaches in California
 | Best Family Beaches in California Welcome to our guide on the best family beaches in California!As beach lovers ourselves, we know the importance of finding the perfect spot for a memorable family getaway. In this article, we'll take you on a journey to stunning shores like Coronado Beach and picturesque destinations like La Jolla Cove.From soft sand to exciting water activities, we've got you covered. Join us as we explore the top family-friendly beaches in California and help you plan an unforgettable beach vacation for your family.Let's dive in!Key TakeawaysCoronado Beach in Coronado is considered the safest beach in California for swimming and offers a range of family-friendly activities and amenities.La Jolla Cove in San Diego is known for its beautiful cerulean waters and is a haven for seals and sea lions. It offers opportunities for snorkeling, scuba diving, kayaking, and exploring sea caves.Balboa Beach in Newport Beach is a sun-kissed beach with a proximity to Balboa Pier. It is ideal for learning how to swim and offers a variety of water activities. The nearby Balboa Fun Zone provides amusement park fun.South Carlsbad State Beach in Carlsbad is a peaceful and quiet beach with fewer tourists. It is a great spot for relaxation and offers camping opportunities.Coronado Beach in CoronadoWe love Coronado Beach in Coronado because of its soft sand and spacious areas. This beach is one of the best family beaches in California. The sand at Coronado Beach is incredibly soft, making it perfect for building sandcastles and playing beach games.The beach also offers plenty of space, so even on busy days, families can find a spot to relax and enjoy themselves.Coronado Beach is known for its family-friendliness and safety. With shallow waters and gentle waves, it's a great place for kids to swim and play. Lifeguards are always on duty, ensuring the safety of everyone in the water. The beach also provides amenities such as picnic tables, restrooms, and bonfire pits, making it convenient for families to spend a whole day there.For older children and teenagers, Coronado Beach offers activities like surfing, paddleboarding, and boogie boarding. The beach is known for its excellent water quality, making it a great spot for water sports. There are also tide pools to explore, where kids can discover fascinating marine life.Overall, Coronado Beach in Coronado is one of the best family beaches in California. Its soft sand, spacious areas, and family-friendly amenities make it an ideal destination for families looking to enjoy a day at the beach.La Jolla Cove in San DiegoLa Jolla Cove in San Diego offers incredible snorkeling and scuba diving opportunities with its abundant sea caves and diverse marine life. Here are four reasons why La Jolla Cove should be at the top of your list when planning a family beach trip to California:Snorkeling and Scuba Diving: The crystal-clear cerulean waters of La Jolla Cove provide the perfect setting for exploring the underwater world. Snorkelers and scuba divers can marvel at the colorful fish, vibrant coral reefs, and even encounter friendly sea turtles and playful seals.Sea Caves: La Jolla Cove is known for its fascinating sea caves that dot the coastline. These natural wonders offer a unique and thrilling experience for adventurous families. You can kayak or paddleboard through the caves, discovering hidden treasures along the way.Wildlife Watching: La Jolla Cove is a haven for seals and sea lions. Families can spend hours observing these magnificent creatures lounging on the rocks or frolicking in the waves. It's a fantastic opportunity for kids to learn about marine life and appreciate the beauty of nature.Outdoor Activities: In addition to snorkeling and scuba diving, La Jolla Cove offers a range of outdoor activities for the whole family. You can enjoy a picnic on the soft sandy beach, fly kites against the backdrop of the ocean, or take a leisurely stroll along the picturesque coastline.With its stunning marine life, captivating sea caves, and exciting outdoor activities, La Jolla Cove is a must-visit destination for families seeking a memorable beach experience in California.Balboa Beach in Newport BeachLet's talk about Balboa Beach in Newport Beach!This sun-kissed beach offers a wide range of water activities, making it a popular spot for families. With its proximity to Balboa Pier and the Balboa Fun Zone nearby, there's no shortage of amusement park fun.Plus, it's an ideal place for learning how to swim, and you can even try your hand at surfing, parasailing, or fishing.Balboa Beach ActivitiesBalboa Beach offers a variety of exciting activities such as surfing, parasailing, and fishing.Here are four reasons why these activities make Balboa Beach a must-visit destination:Surfing: With its perfect waves and warm waters, Balboa Beach is a paradise for surfers of all levels. Whether you're a beginner or an experienced surfer, you'll find the ideal wave to ride and enjoy the thrill of catching the perfect wave.Parasailing: Take to the skies and experience the breathtaking views of Balboa Beach from a whole new perspective. Parasailing allows you to soar above the crystal-clear waters and marvel at the stunning coastline while feeling the wind in your hair.Fishing: Grab your fishing gear and head to Balboa Beach for a day of angling fun. Whether you prefer casting from the shore or venturing out into the deep sea, you'll have plenty of opportunities to catch a variety of fish, from bass to halibut.Balboa Fun Zone: After a day of adventure on the beach, visit the nearby Balboa Fun Zone for some amusement park fun. Enjoy thrilling rides, play games, and indulge in delicious treats, making your day at Balboa Beach even more memorable.With these exciting activities and attractions, Balboa Beach offers something for everyone seeking adventure and fun in the sun.Accessibility of Balboa Beach?We can easily access Balboa Beach through various means of transportation, such as driving or taking public transportation.Located in Newport Beach, California, Balboa Beach offers a sun-kissed paradise with plenty of water activities for the whole family to enjoy.With its proximity to Balboa Pier, this beach is ideal for those looking to learn how to swim or try their hand at surfing. For thrill-seekers, there are opportunities for parasailing and fishing.Nearby, the Balboa Fun Zone offers amusement park fun for all ages.Whether you choose to drive or take public transportation, you'll find that Balboa Beach is easily accessible and provides a perfect setting for a day of sun, sand, and endless water adventures.South Carlsbad State Beach in CarlsbadWe can enjoy a peaceful and quiet day at South Carlsbad State Beach in Carlsbad, with its wide and uncrowded beach for sandcastle building and relaxation. Here are four reasons why South Carlsbad State Beach is a great destination for families:Serene and Tranquil Atmosphere: Unlike some crowded beaches, South Carlsbad State Beach offers a serene and tranquil environment. With fewer tourists, families can find a quiet spot to unwind and enjoy the sound of crashing waves.Perfect for Sandcastle Building: The wide expanse of sand at South Carlsbad State Beach provides ample space for sandcastle building. Children will love getting creative and building their own mini fortresses by the shore.Relaxation and Quiet Time: If you're looking for a beach where you can truly relax and have some quiet time with your family, South Carlsbad State Beach is the place to go. Lay back on the sand, soak up the sun, and enjoy the peaceful surroundings.Safety and Peace of Mind: South Carlsbad State Beach has a lifeguard station, ensuring the safety of swimmers and providing peace of mind for families. You can rest easy knowing that there are trained professionals keeping an eye on the water.With its uncrowded beach, sandcastle building opportunities, relaxation, and safety measures, South Carlsbad State Beach is a wonderful choice for a family day out by the ocean.Zuma Beach in MalibuZuma Beach in Malibu is a scenic stretch of sand along Pacific Coast Highway that offers a variety of beach activities for families. With its lifeguard station ensuring safety, visitors can enjoy swimming and bodyboarding in the refreshing waves.However, it's worth noting that parking at Zuma Beach may be limited, so it's advisable to arrive early to secure a spot and make the most of the day.Beach Activities at ZumaZuma Beach in Malibu offers various beach activities, including swimming and bodyboarding opportunities. Here are four exciting activities you can enjoy at Zuma Beach:Swimming: Dive into the refreshing waters of Zuma Beach and enjoy a leisurely swim. The lifeguard station ensures your safety while you splash around.Bodyboarding: Grab your bodyboard and ride the waves at Zuma Beach. Feel the exhilaration as you glide across the water, catching the perfect wave.Volleyball: Gather your friends and family for a friendly game of beach volleyball. Zuma Beach has well-maintained courts where you can showcase your skills and have a blast.Picnicking: Pack a delicious picnic and relax under the shade of the palm trees. Zuma Beach provides picnic areas where you can enjoy a meal while taking in the beautiful ocean views.With its range of activities, Zuma Beach is the perfect destination for a fun-filled day by the sea.Parking Availability at Zuma?But, is parking available at Zuma Beach in Malibu?Well, parking at Zuma Beach can be a bit tricky. While the beach itself offers scenic beauty and a plethora of activities, finding a parking spot may require some patience and luck. The parking lot tends to fill up quickly, especially during weekends and holidays when the beach attracts a large number of visitors.It's advisable to arrive early in the morning or consider carpooling to increase your chances of finding a parking spot. However, if the parking lot is full, there are alternative options available nearby, such as street parking or paid parking lots in the surrounding area.Despite the parking challenge, Zuma Beach is definitely worth a visit for its stunning views and enjoyable beach activities.Now, let's talk about some other beach recommendations.Other Beach RecommendationsWe should also consider visiting Huntington Beach or Pismo State Beach as other beach recommendations. Here are four reasons why these beaches are worth considering:Huntington Beach: Known as 'Surf City USA,' Huntington Beach offers a vibrant and energetic atmosphere. With its wide sandy beach and consistent waves, it's a haven for surfers and beach enthusiasts. Families can enjoy beach volleyball, biking along the boardwalk, and exploring the nearby Pier Plaza. The beach also hosts events like the annual US Open of Surfing, which adds excitement to any visit.Pismo State Beach: Located in the charming town of Pismo Beach, this beach offers a more laid-back and relaxed vibe. Families can enjoy long walks along the sandy shores, build sandcastles, and fly kites in the gentle ocean breeze. Pismo State Beach is also known for its stunning sunsets, making it a perfect spot for a romantic evening stroll.Moonstone Beach: Nestled in the picturesque town of Cambria, Moonstone Beach is a hidden gem along the Central Coast. Its unique pebble-filled shoreline offers a different beach experience. Families can collect beautiful moonstones, explore tide pools, and enjoy the stunning coastal views. The beach is also adjacent to Cambria's charming Main Street, where visitors can find quaint shops and delicious dining options.Santa Monica Beach: Located in the heart of Santa Monica, this beach offers a mix of fun activities and beautiful scenery. Families can enjoy the iconic Santa Monica Pier, complete with its amusement park rides and carnival games. The beach also offers bike rentals, beach volleyball courts, and opportunities for rollerblading along the boardwalk. With its vibrant atmosphere and stunning views, Santa Monica Beach is a must-visit destination.Whether you're looking for a lively beach experience or a tranquil coastal retreat, Huntington Beach, Pismo State Beach, Moonstone Beach, and Santa Monica Beach offer something for every family. So grab your sunscreen, pack your beach gear, and get ready for a memorable beach adventure in California.Frequently Asked QuestionsAre There Any Specific Beach Activities Available for Teenagers at the Recommended Family Beaches?Yes, there are specific beach activities available for teenagers at the recommended family beaches.Coronado Beach in Coronado offers surfing, paddleboarding, and boogie boarding for teenagers.La Jolla Cove in San Diego provides opportunities for snorkeling, scuba diving, kayaking, and exploring sea caves.Balboa Beach in Newport Beach is great for teenagers to learn how to swim and offers surfing, parasailing, and fishing opportunities.These beaches have a variety of activities to keep teenagers entertained and engaged.Is There Any Beach Camping Available at the Recommended Family Beaches?Yes, there's beach camping available at some of the recommended family beaches. South Carlsbad State Beach in Carlsbad offers camping opportunities, allowing families to enjoy a peaceful and quiet beach experience. With wide and uncrowded beaches, it's perfect for sandcastle building and relaxation.Additionally, Coronado Beach in Coronado offers camping facilities, making it a great option for families who want to enjoy the soft sand and spacious areas. Beach camping can add an extra element of adventure to your family beach trip.Are There Any Restrictions or Regulations Regarding Bonfires at the Recommended Family Beaches?There are no specific restrictions or regulations regarding bonfires at the recommended family beaches.Bonfires are a popular activity at Coronado Beach in Coronado, where families can enjoy picnics and gather around a bonfire while enjoying the soft sand and spacious areas.However, it's always important to follow local fire regulations and guidelines to ensure safety and protect the environment.What Are Some Nearby Attractions or Points of Interest Near the Recommended Family Beaches?Near the recommended family beaches, there are plenty of attractions and points of interest to explore.Coronado Beach in Coronado offers picnic tables, tide pools, and even surfing for teenagers.La Jolla Cove in San Diego is known for its seals and sea lions, as well as snorkeling and sea cave exploration.Balboa Beach in Newport Beach is close to the Balboa Fun Zone and is ideal for learning how to swim.South Carlsbad State Beach in Carlsbad offers a peaceful and quiet atmosphere, perfect for relaxation.Zuma Beach in Malibu provides scenic views along Pacific Coast Highway, along with volleyball courts and swimming opportunities.Are There Any Specific Rules or Guidelines for Bringing Pets to the Recommended Family Beaches?Yes, there are specific rules and guidelines for bringing pets to the recommended family beaches. It's important to check the individual beach regulations as they may vary.Some beaches allow dogs on leashes, while others may have designated off-leash areas. It's crucial to clean up after your pets and ensure they're well-behaved and don't disturb other beachgoers.Always prioritize the safety and comfort of both your pet and fellow beach visitors.ConclusionAnd there you have it, folks! California truly offers some of the best family beaches in the world.From the pristine shores of Coronado Beach to the breathtaking beauty of La Jolla Cove, there's no shortage of options for a fun-filled family getaway.So grab your sunscreen, pack your beach toys, and get ready to create unforgettable memories with your loved ones.California's family beaches are waiting to welcome you with open arms.Happy beach hunting! submitted by Sweet-Count2557 to worldkidstravel [link] [comments] |
2024.05.20 06:08 Intelligent_Bug_945 Rant :P (kinda funny ig)
Backstory: My friend Jared and Michelle were dating for about a year or two but they broke up recently. Then Michelle accused Jared of SAing a mutual friend, yet when Jared got a recording of said friend denying that this ever happened, or that she said Jared did anything like that, Michelle still told everyone to block Jared and that he's a r*pist anyway.
Today: Some friends and I are going on vacation together (without her obviously) and I posted on my close friends story on Instagram a picture of the airb&b were renting (with a friends parent). Michelle sees this (because i forgot shes in my close friends) and posts on her own story "personally I would never let my friends not include me in something" (even though she obviously would because she has said nothing to me personally so...). Then all my friends are texting me about this (because im not on her close friends anymore lmao) and saying "way to go Bri now they're pissed off." So to make her feel shitty about this I post a picture of my mom saying "Hey kiddo! Your dad wants to know if you want to go to New York with us this summer!" on my close friends again (to obviously make her think its a vacation with family not friends and make her think she's got the wrong idea).
submitted by Intelligent_Bug_945 to teenagers [link] [comments]
Today: Some friends and I are going on vacation together (without her obviously) and I posted on my close friends story on Instagram a picture of the airb&b were renting (with a friends parent). Michelle sees this (because i forgot shes in my close friends) and posts on her own story "personally I would never let my friends not include me in something" (even though she obviously would because she has said nothing to me personally so...). Then all my friends are texting me about this (because im not on her close friends anymore lmao) and saying "way to go Bri now they're pissed off." So to make her feel shitty about this I post a picture of my mom saying "Hey kiddo! Your dad wants to know if you want to go to New York with us this summer!" on my close friends again (to obviously make her think its a vacation with family not friends and make her think she's got the wrong idea).
2024.05.20 06:08 Virgo936ATL AITA FOR TELLING MY SIL SHE IS ACTING BITTER?
My brother in law and his wife are going through divorce. It’s been 3 years since he left her. We’ll call BIL “bill” and SIL “Mary ”. Bill and Mary have 2 sons, I have 3. They are very close in age to my sons. They act alike and share mannerisms and hobbies, and adore each other! Bill found a new girlfriend and they have a nice condo together.
When the family learned of the divorce, everyone tried to get bill to work through his marital problems. He doubled down he couldn’t take another second with Mary . The family loves Mary and hated to see the split, but we couldn’t convince bill to stay with his wife. We were cursing bill out as Mary had not too long given birth when he decided to call it quits.
I married into the family but Mary and I were close. Mary was venting to me one night about keeping bills kids away from him because she didn’t like his gf and didn’t want the kids to meet her. Understandable because she wanted her marriage to work, BUT they are his children and telling him he could never see his children because of the gf is wild to me. I came into my marriage with one child and as much as do not like his dad, that’s his son.
Mary blocked all of us. We can’t see the kids , my kids can’t play with them, they can’t come to bday parties, vacations, or holidays with us like they used too and I told her it’s not fair to punish us or the kids for what bill did. We need to be grown about the situation. I got a big F U for not being sensitive to her situation because I told her eventually she needs to get over it. The relationship ended 3 years ago.
The court is dragging its feet finalizing the divorce so in her head, she’s the wife and bill chose his mistress over his family. I told her to seek therapy about why she’s so bitter that because he was a bad husband he’s a bad dad. Because he does everything for his children and gives her a lot of money every month but can’t take his kids to Disney world ? She said never to ask for her children again. I love those boys, my kids ask for their cousins all the time . Breaks my heart. AITA?!
submitted by Virgo936ATL to AmItheAsshole [link] [comments]
When the family learned of the divorce, everyone tried to get bill to work through his marital problems. He doubled down he couldn’t take another second with Mary . The family loves Mary and hated to see the split, but we couldn’t convince bill to stay with his wife. We were cursing bill out as Mary had not too long given birth when he decided to call it quits.
I married into the family but Mary and I were close. Mary was venting to me one night about keeping bills kids away from him because she didn’t like his gf and didn’t want the kids to meet her. Understandable because she wanted her marriage to work, BUT they are his children and telling him he could never see his children because of the gf is wild to me. I came into my marriage with one child and as much as do not like his dad, that’s his son.
Mary blocked all of us. We can’t see the kids , my kids can’t play with them, they can’t come to bday parties, vacations, or holidays with us like they used too and I told her it’s not fair to punish us or the kids for what bill did. We need to be grown about the situation. I got a big F U for not being sensitive to her situation because I told her eventually she needs to get over it. The relationship ended 3 years ago.
The court is dragging its feet finalizing the divorce so in her head, she’s the wife and bill chose his mistress over his family. I told her to seek therapy about why she’s so bitter that because he was a bad husband he’s a bad dad. Because he does everything for his children and gives her a lot of money every month but can’t take his kids to Disney world ? She said never to ask for her children again. I love those boys, my kids ask for their cousins all the time . Breaks my heart. AITA?!
2024.05.20 05:56 HemLen1985 Victim of repeat cheating
About 3 years ago I discovered my wife was cheating on me with a co worker of hers. It was what I guess you would call an emotional friend. I won't get in to the details of how I found out but after confronting her a few times over a few months she finally turned around and ended things with that person. At the same time many issues she had with me came to light and were brought up as reasons for what she did. I took all of this to heart, wanted my marriage to work, and agreed with many of her concerns. This led to a period of reconciliation between us where we we really working on things, and our relationship, love life, etc. was as good as it had been in a while. Things seemed good, I knew she was genuinely remorseful too.
That good period lasted for 9 months or so and then I noticed a change in her behavior towards me. She wanted to be out of the house more, do more things on her own, etc. This was coming out of covid so of course I understood, and supported her as I was fully committed to making things work for her as much as I could. During this time I began hearing about a new employee of hers though. His name always seemed to come up when talking about where she'd been, baseball, things for work, etc. Normal stuff, all good but coming out of being cheated on and the residual affects of that, hearing the same guys name a lot raised a lot of flags.
I expressed my concerns over this which led to a lot of defensiveness but insistence that things were good. I noticed our romantic life began to suffer during this time too, not non existent but very sporadic and noticeably different. More defensives when it came up. Generally she was much more withdrawn, emotionless towards me, just different. I also noticed my wife on her phone texting more, a bad habit from the first instance of cheating, and she always seemed to be texting with this employee. This continued throughout a couple vacations we took, constant texting, taking selfies, etc. She continued to spend more time out and later hours at work during this time too. I raised my specific concerns multiple times, tried to express I was feeling isolated, etc, but the friendship continued.
Things came to a head around that christmas. She became very angry when I again brought up my concerns. During this time she became very resistant and unwilling to make decisions together, make plans, spend time together, ets. and her mood towards me really seemed to change for the worse. I asked about marriage counselling and we did begin attending during this time. This was about a year ago and our love life ended at that time too at her insistence. So we attended counselling for about 3 months, both of us were honest and shared but after a while she pulled away from that. She became very angry and resentful, dissociated from her family and mine during this time too. Brought up past resentments with how they'd treated her in the past. Just overall very angry and negative.
The friendship continued, with her continued insistence it was innocent. over the past year I've noticed some periods of time where shes spent less time with him, less texting, but I mean any amount of it I hope people would understand is harmful to me. Things never went away though and she'd make a show of saying shes with him, etc. or he'd be there with others just so I knew she wasn't hiding anything. I feel my concerns are valid, especially given our past issues and my genuine efforts to work on the marriage and on self improvement.
Recently though on the topic of self improvement I've been noticing a big chasm between how others around me (coworkers, family, etc.) react to me and how my wife does. I feel I'm a very positive person and others react very well to this but my wife maintains this strong wall against me despite my self improvement and consistently more positive behavior in our marriage over several years now, citing past behavior on my part that led to the first affair. This has become harder and harder for me to live with. I despearately want to make my marriage work, for myself, our kids and for every other normal reason. There is just so much to lose and I know I could contribute to a good marriage if we both wanted to work towards one.
She refuses to do that though. Cites past behaviour. But stays in the marriage, etc. It hasnt added up for a while. Why the abject refusal to at least try working on things when were still together with no plans not to be? Like why not at least try. Start with small things, low stakes at the start, build the trust, etc. Doesn't make sense. So recently I've started noticing things and I've found proof after 2 years of this that she has recently been lying about spending time with this employee. Business trip inconsistencies, etc. Scrap notes talking about cuddling, etc, being kissed on the forehead, holding hands, etc. with him when she was supposed to be elsewhere with other people.
So I confronted her with my feelings that something about her recent trip doesn't add up. Can she prove she was where she said she was. I know she cant. She became extremely angry, defensive, threats to leave the marriage, to walk out over me going there. It was bad. I never laid my cards fully out though to prove I know she's lying. I wanted to see if she would admit to anything, she won't. Still insists her friendship with this person has been significantly reduced (it hasn't, again I have proof of lying and that its inappropriate). I'm not sure if its sexual, but there is a clear emotionally supportive friendship happening that is definitely walking the line.
We're at the point now where we are talking separation for the summer. So I can work on my trust issues (yeah again I'm the cause of everything). Part of me feels its ok to try. She says shes still open minded to work on things if a separation helps to improve things but she won't commit. Theres clearly a lot of gas lighting here. I'm torn if this is even worth it or if I'm out of hope. Again there is so much to lose. I love this person so much and know it could work if we were focused on the same things. And of course the impact to my kids that I desperately want to avoid. I understand the emotional cheating is to fill something she wasn't getting from me in the past. But again, lots of self improvement on my part over years now and she has acknowledged I've changed for the better and can be a good husband. But refuses to work on things (despite being together) or to even tell me what she needs different. All I get is that she's traumatized from the past.
I'm looking for advice here. I know what I'm describing is a situation most would walk away from or even not let get this far. But here I am several years later. My strong conviction and desire is to try to earn a chance to make it work together, until the wheels fall off. But I also know I'm at the end of the road now. Am I right to keep trying this last ditch effort? Or am I being misled in it too. I'm so stressed, confused and have been carrying this for years. I know most of the replies will be blunt and that I should leave her, end things, start over. But I'm looking for any advice out there too that could help me stay on the path I've been on, I still have some hope. Please help. I need reassurance I'm still on the right path.
submitted by HemLen1985 to cheating_stories [link] [comments]
That good period lasted for 9 months or so and then I noticed a change in her behavior towards me. She wanted to be out of the house more, do more things on her own, etc. This was coming out of covid so of course I understood, and supported her as I was fully committed to making things work for her as much as I could. During this time I began hearing about a new employee of hers though. His name always seemed to come up when talking about where she'd been, baseball, things for work, etc. Normal stuff, all good but coming out of being cheated on and the residual affects of that, hearing the same guys name a lot raised a lot of flags.
I expressed my concerns over this which led to a lot of defensiveness but insistence that things were good. I noticed our romantic life began to suffer during this time too, not non existent but very sporadic and noticeably different. More defensives when it came up. Generally she was much more withdrawn, emotionless towards me, just different. I also noticed my wife on her phone texting more, a bad habit from the first instance of cheating, and she always seemed to be texting with this employee. This continued throughout a couple vacations we took, constant texting, taking selfies, etc. She continued to spend more time out and later hours at work during this time too. I raised my specific concerns multiple times, tried to express I was feeling isolated, etc, but the friendship continued.
Things came to a head around that christmas. She became very angry when I again brought up my concerns. During this time she became very resistant and unwilling to make decisions together, make plans, spend time together, ets. and her mood towards me really seemed to change for the worse. I asked about marriage counselling and we did begin attending during this time. This was about a year ago and our love life ended at that time too at her insistence. So we attended counselling for about 3 months, both of us were honest and shared but after a while she pulled away from that. She became very angry and resentful, dissociated from her family and mine during this time too. Brought up past resentments with how they'd treated her in the past. Just overall very angry and negative.
The friendship continued, with her continued insistence it was innocent. over the past year I've noticed some periods of time where shes spent less time with him, less texting, but I mean any amount of it I hope people would understand is harmful to me. Things never went away though and she'd make a show of saying shes with him, etc. or he'd be there with others just so I knew she wasn't hiding anything. I feel my concerns are valid, especially given our past issues and my genuine efforts to work on the marriage and on self improvement.
Recently though on the topic of self improvement I've been noticing a big chasm between how others around me (coworkers, family, etc.) react to me and how my wife does. I feel I'm a very positive person and others react very well to this but my wife maintains this strong wall against me despite my self improvement and consistently more positive behavior in our marriage over several years now, citing past behavior on my part that led to the first affair. This has become harder and harder for me to live with. I despearately want to make my marriage work, for myself, our kids and for every other normal reason. There is just so much to lose and I know I could contribute to a good marriage if we both wanted to work towards one.
She refuses to do that though. Cites past behaviour. But stays in the marriage, etc. It hasnt added up for a while. Why the abject refusal to at least try working on things when were still together with no plans not to be? Like why not at least try. Start with small things, low stakes at the start, build the trust, etc. Doesn't make sense. So recently I've started noticing things and I've found proof after 2 years of this that she has recently been lying about spending time with this employee. Business trip inconsistencies, etc. Scrap notes talking about cuddling, etc, being kissed on the forehead, holding hands, etc. with him when she was supposed to be elsewhere with other people.
So I confronted her with my feelings that something about her recent trip doesn't add up. Can she prove she was where she said she was. I know she cant. She became extremely angry, defensive, threats to leave the marriage, to walk out over me going there. It was bad. I never laid my cards fully out though to prove I know she's lying. I wanted to see if she would admit to anything, she won't. Still insists her friendship with this person has been significantly reduced (it hasn't, again I have proof of lying and that its inappropriate). I'm not sure if its sexual, but there is a clear emotionally supportive friendship happening that is definitely walking the line.
We're at the point now where we are talking separation for the summer. So I can work on my trust issues (yeah again I'm the cause of everything). Part of me feels its ok to try. She says shes still open minded to work on things if a separation helps to improve things but she won't commit. Theres clearly a lot of gas lighting here. I'm torn if this is even worth it or if I'm out of hope. Again there is so much to lose. I love this person so much and know it could work if we were focused on the same things. And of course the impact to my kids that I desperately want to avoid. I understand the emotional cheating is to fill something she wasn't getting from me in the past. But again, lots of self improvement on my part over years now and she has acknowledged I've changed for the better and can be a good husband. But refuses to work on things (despite being together) or to even tell me what she needs different. All I get is that she's traumatized from the past.
I'm looking for advice here. I know what I'm describing is a situation most would walk away from or even not let get this far. But here I am several years later. My strong conviction and desire is to try to earn a chance to make it work together, until the wheels fall off. But I also know I'm at the end of the road now. Am I right to keep trying this last ditch effort? Or am I being misled in it too. I'm so stressed, confused and have been carrying this for years. I know most of the replies will be blunt and that I should leave her, end things, start over. But I'm looking for any advice out there too that could help me stay on the path I've been on, I still have some hope. Please help. I need reassurance I'm still on the right path.
2024.05.20 05:47 Repulsive_Touch_8724 How can I find a way out?
I’m lost in a world that doesn’t exist anymore. Let me give a little context on this.
I’m from southern part of India (29 M) had a not normal childhood and my family isn’t exactly what one would call normal, it was great until one point but when I was around 13-14 my parents joined a religious group (not a cult) but were so much invested in that they forced me and my brother to follow their ideology and the path as a family, the time me and my brother realised that the path wasn’t for us it started a turmoil in the family causing lot of arguments and situations are still the same. My parents wanted me and my brother to stop our education and join the religious community, after a struggle and lot of arguing we opted out of that. It was at that time I met my love of my life, she was such a wonderful person. That was my chance to have my own family, feel like home. After we graduated I joined in the same company she was placed in our final year so I could be with her (not insecure but just wanted to be with her) we had our ups and downs like usual relationships but I was determined to always make things work and so did she I thought, I think she kept all the downs at one place and one day after ~8yrs into our relationship she decided to call it quits. I couldn’t accept that, wanted to fight for her and make her see the ups too, it was the time of Covid initial stages where the world stopped moving. All I could do was talk or chat but couldn’t meet, she stopped listening, even blocked me everywhere, after a lot of struggle got her to talk but only to know that she has already moved on within a few days, some guy who was able to be there in the time. After what felt like a world-ending struggle she managed to break every contact with me. She wasn’t to be blamed even I didn’t want to be with myself I was just glad that someone wanted to, just wished it would last longer.
I was heartbroken, devastated, depressed so much that I couldn’t even imagine living anymore. After contant support from my brother and friends I joined therapy but it didn’t feel like it helped. It’s been 4 years since she ever spoke to me, she moved to a different country for masters. I haven’t been able to regain my will to live, I’m not going to kill myself and cause pain to my brother or my friends. I tried many things to move on, therapy didn’t help much, tried dating apps, dated a woman for a while but couldn’t really connect with her, gave therapy one more shot didn’t work out, took a long vacation solo and with friends but everything still feels like it’s still happening. I look at my phone hoping every notification was a text from a person who probably doesn’t even think about me. I look into the crowds hoping to find a known silhouette. I don’t know how to get myself out. I don’t know how to stop looking for my home which doesn’t exist anymore.
I don’t feel like asking for help from anyone anymore, my brother or my friends. I’ve imposed myself enough and don’t feel like disturbing their lives for my own. I just want to sleep one night peacefully. I want to feel alive again. Smile without having to force it for the sake of people around me. I don’t know what to do.
Sorry for the long post.
submitted by Repulsive_Touch_8724 to mentalhealth [link] [comments]
I’m from southern part of India (29 M) had a not normal childhood and my family isn’t exactly what one would call normal, it was great until one point but when I was around 13-14 my parents joined a religious group (not a cult) but were so much invested in that they forced me and my brother to follow their ideology and the path as a family, the time me and my brother realised that the path wasn’t for us it started a turmoil in the family causing lot of arguments and situations are still the same. My parents wanted me and my brother to stop our education and join the religious community, after a struggle and lot of arguing we opted out of that. It was at that time I met my love of my life, she was such a wonderful person. That was my chance to have my own family, feel like home. After we graduated I joined in the same company she was placed in our final year so I could be with her (not insecure but just wanted to be with her) we had our ups and downs like usual relationships but I was determined to always make things work and so did she I thought, I think she kept all the downs at one place and one day after ~8yrs into our relationship she decided to call it quits. I couldn’t accept that, wanted to fight for her and make her see the ups too, it was the time of Covid initial stages where the world stopped moving. All I could do was talk or chat but couldn’t meet, she stopped listening, even blocked me everywhere, after a lot of struggle got her to talk but only to know that she has already moved on within a few days, some guy who was able to be there in the time. After what felt like a world-ending struggle she managed to break every contact with me. She wasn’t to be blamed even I didn’t want to be with myself I was just glad that someone wanted to, just wished it would last longer.
I was heartbroken, devastated, depressed so much that I couldn’t even imagine living anymore. After contant support from my brother and friends I joined therapy but it didn’t feel like it helped. It’s been 4 years since she ever spoke to me, she moved to a different country for masters. I haven’t been able to regain my will to live, I’m not going to kill myself and cause pain to my brother or my friends. I tried many things to move on, therapy didn’t help much, tried dating apps, dated a woman for a while but couldn’t really connect with her, gave therapy one more shot didn’t work out, took a long vacation solo and with friends but everything still feels like it’s still happening. I look at my phone hoping every notification was a text from a person who probably doesn’t even think about me. I look into the crowds hoping to find a known silhouette. I don’t know how to get myself out. I don’t know how to stop looking for my home which doesn’t exist anymore.
I don’t feel like asking for help from anyone anymore, my brother or my friends. I’ve imposed myself enough and don’t feel like disturbing their lives for my own. I just want to sleep one night peacefully. I want to feel alive again. Smile without having to force it for the sake of people around me. I don’t know what to do.
Sorry for the long post.