This is just idle speculation, but I thought it might be fun to see if we can guess which "what if" episodes to expect.
We know from the into Door delivers that Night Springs DLC is likely to consist of several episodes in a what if style, attempts of Alan's to escape that didn't quite meet the criteria of "true fiction" and thus fell apart.
In bopping along to the Night Springs song off the soundtrack, I keep thinking it's describing several of these episodes. Who do we think will feature in them? If it's truly multiple playable characters that is (and not just Tim Breaker all the way through)
Lyrics here:
Space invader, looking cute in a human suit Secret agents with the down-down rays they shoot Psychic powers, hypno eyes and magic fruit Trees, machines, weird mysteries We got freaky fantasies In Night Springs, psycho killer on the run In Night Springs, I don the black hole sun 'Cause in Night Springs, we're just looking for the thrill All your nightmares come true Crashing through the warning signs, your car breaks down just outside In Night Springs Endless versions of this town, Buck hold off the Elder God Live inside a sleepless dream, better let her sleep in Night Springs If I died in your arms, I don't mind it I'd hunt you when you like it In Night Springs, caught in an endless time loop In Night Springs, a solar system in your soup 'Cause in Night Springs, we're just looking for the thrill All your nightmares come true Lost in mist for days and days, now you see the sunny seas Night Springs
1) Breaker even mentioned aliens I believe in one interaction with him. This feels like the most obvious one: an X-Files-lile episode, possibly featuring our favorite Director interacting with Breaker during some sort of alien event.
2) psycho killer seems easy enough! Perhaps Rose matching wits against a boss level Taken like Nightingale?
3) "Buck hold off the Elder God" sounds an awful lot like the Cult of the Tree might get some air time. Maybe in the same sense as they are in the main story: they're a cult dedicated to protecting the town, but in this case we get more cosmic horror style storytelling.
4) for some reason "solar system in your soup" makes me think of that Twilight Zone where the kid had omnipotent powers, sort of a St Elsewhere snow globe kind of situation. I don't know how you turn that into an episode of playable content though.
(Likewise the "crash through the warning signs, car breaks down just outside" is a classic Twilight Zone sequence)
5) Psychic powers, hypno eyes and magic fruit sounds groovy as heck but psychic powers obviously makes me think of Control, or perhaps even Hartman (with his MO or brainwashing artists to control them), or Zane from Nightless Night where he hit on themes of mind control and Manson-like levels of cult of personality and devotion.
6) related, possibly, black hole sun sounds like an eclipse, which is sort of the thematic opposite of Nightless Night, so might have another Zane tie in there.
I know we don't have any actual evidence but it is fun (for me) to speculate:D anyone have any alternate reads on the lyrics, or anything Breaker mentioned that I forgot?

Before you call me racist consider this...
In the past few years this country has turned into a hate fest. Liberals condone insanity like pro Palestinian protests calling for a genocide of people and conservatives are dropping the pretense of political correctness... Both sides are on the extremist's usage of the first amendment.
Our government condones this idiocy instead of coming out with a straight agenda or condemning certain actions. Government officials have first amendment rights as well and truthfully need to be a beacon of some kind.
Instead they act like they are scared to commit to any action or comment. We are in a CULTURE WAR and we need a president who is steadfast and willing to represent his and his followers' ideals.
Trump is that president. He wants to secure borders so people of all class and race have better opportunities to succeed. He wants to protect our way of life and is willing to make the hard decisions for the benefit of almost 400 million people.
Trump wants to make sure you are working. He wants to find ways to add a million jobs in this country. And he is the one person to tell protesters and foreign interest lobbyists and fascist liberal pressures to back off and reassess their own ideas.
I am in the poorer class. This inflation and salary stagnation with an increase in housing has exploded directly due to Biden. Trump would have never let it get like this. And I have dated 2 immigrants for years but we MUST stop this insane flood of migrants and we must begin deportation.
Am I wrong?

First off, feel free to comment about your own experiences. I would love it if anybody can relate. I'm also open to questions, advice, whatever you wanna write. This is gonna be a bit longer, just fyi. Excuse lack of proper chronological order and maybe some wonky sentences, English isn't my first language.
I was parentified.
For context, my mother has three children, I'm the youngest one, then there's my older half-brother (30) and my older half-sister (36). Their father was a violent alcoholic with schizophrenic tendencies (official diagnosis), luckily I never met him. I refer to them as brother and sister. I'm 21 now. I'm the only child of my mom and my dad, my dad has three other kids who are in the same age group as my maternal siblings. Lots of history with divorces and family fights, I'm the center of a complete patchwork family, everybody moved towns a lot, it's all a bit messy and disorganized.
My mother has severe borderline disorder and has massive trauma from several age stages, especially involving men. She was heavily parentified and yet socially cast out by her family herself. I don't remember a time where I didn't act like her father, emotionally. This is made worse by the fact that I'm trans so I was like her bestie before I began socially transitioning in my early teen years. Of course, this was a massive issue for her. She told me she had only ever wanted daughters. Materially she was taking care of things until I was about 11 - walked me to school and took care of the household, used to work, everything.
I remember sitting next to her during a talk/fight she had with my dad while she was sobbing, I can't have been older than 3 or 4. They got divorced around that time. As I grew older, I came to be my mom's sole emotional support person. We had moved to an isolated village with my step-father and she developed a severe agoraphobia for some time. My step-father avoided all emotionality with both her and me and therefore I was now her only friend. I overheard conversations that she shouldn't be having with her child next door and was told about her most severe fears and traumas from a young age. I was lashed out at on a near daily basis and punishment came unexpectedly. It would consist of being screamed at for minutes on end until I would cry and hyperventilate, but she wouldn't stop then.
In spite of her idea of punishment and raising children, she was incredibly attached to me, still is. This would include massive anxiety fits when she didn't know where I was or when I was getting into activities she didn't approve of. One time, when I was about 17, I went to a party in my friend's basement. She knew about this and approved it, knew my friends and where they lived. I didn't have any signal in that basenent so she couldn't reach me. She proceeded to look up my other friends' parents' phone number and call them to contact me. There was nothing she wanted except to know that I had arrived there.
Whereas my other siblings had long left the household years apart from eachother, both with specific and complex fights and banging doors and screaming fits, I was, as the youngest child, turned into a confessional and a therapist. I would mediate fights from a young age. I witnessed physical violence between my brother, my mother and my sister. My brother was the perpetrator for the most part (however, I was neither hurt nor threatened myself). Nobody proceeded to remove me from the situation or stop me from getting involved. From then on, every fight and every drama caused me intense bouts of anxiety and it, to this day, remains to be the only thing that makes me cry and/or lash out.
In a household full of anger, my anger was not tolerated. I was raised with some old-timey sort of black paedagogy (I'm German so it is something of a generational curse for some): I was to have unwavering respect for my parents, I was expected to be obedient, "let him cry it out" type stuff. At least when I was a younger child. When I got older, my emotions did not matter either. After stressful situations or fights that I proceeded to witness for most of my life, nobody ever asked me how I felt or explained to me what had actually gone down. I was left alone while not being left alone at all.
If I failed to provide emotional security for my mother or even attempted to call her out, I was made to feel immensely guilty. This could range from her crying/yelling things like "Why is it always me that must suffer" to guilt-tripping texts and blocking my contact for a while to very action-based suicide threats, depending on the situation. Her emotions were forced to be my emotions if I wanted to "stay alive".
At the same time, I still proceeded to excel in school. I felt like dying but nobody, and I tell you, nobody, noticed. I was a teacher's pet, I still had some loose friendships, I visited my dad once a month or more ever since my parents divorced. Nobody realized what I felt. I felt alone and had the worst depressive episode of my life when I was 13. I neglected personal hygiene. I never opened up to my father for many years. To this day I think he doesn't know everything. Especially during covid, him and my ex-stepmother were my safe space. When I first opened up to them, they welcomed me with open arms, my father was very strict and cold when I was young, but he softened, changed, and is everything and more I could ask for in a father. He is among the most positive examples of masculinity and especially of fatherhood that I know in my circles. He sends me postcards several times a month, wants me to visit, hugs me and tells me he loves me and that he's proud, gives me space. The dad who remembers the names of our childhood stuffed animals. Literally. I love him to death. He was also the only parent who engaged in activities with me and would play with me, later on take me to the movies, go to bars and restaurants, go to museums with me etc.
My mother got worse both psychologically and physically, she is chronically ill and needs immense support in a lot of things now. For about a year, my stepfather worked in a town far away and only came home during the weekends. This was during covid. Within a year, I developed a hatred so deep for my mother that I had thoughts that scared me. I took care of our pets and the household, was not allowed to get into any activities after school other than coming home and spent hours after my day listening to her rants, anxieties, fears. I get hateful goosebumps when I remember the way she used to call my name when she wanted me to do something for her. Sometimes she would make me stay awake for longer, knowing that I had to get up at 6am again. It was usually already around 12 at night. She wanted me to walk the dog before SHE went to bed because otherwise it would ruin her otherwise horribly insomniac circadian rhythm. Therefore I was not allowed to go to sleep. At that point she had not worked for more than 6 years and stayed home all the time. My stepfather and I did grocery shopping. She rarely ever leaves the house if she can avoid it. This was during the German version of my GCSE's.
I was denied medical care that could have potentially fixed my posture issues and other orthopedic issues. My mother deemed physiotherapy as inefficient and got mad when I asked her about it again. Money was always an issue. We were evicted once. I was denied certain things and never asked for extra cash because we ran low on money, my stepfather was blamed for smoking and consuming a lot of meat (which indeed is pricy), but my mother never reflected on her online shopping addiction and I'm aware that she is in an ongoing debt. Has been for years now.
Things got a bit better when my stepfather moved back and Covid cleared up somewhat. Regardless, I used pure spite to continue studying hard while they were yelling at eachother from the top of their lungs for hours on end and did the best I could to get the hell out of there. I've had therapy with several years' of breaks for a total of nearly 3 years now, that I partially applied for myself and I'm working on tackling everything. I live in a different city, studying subjects that I love. I get all my shit done, for the most part, I know how to do paperwork and know how all of the chores work. I can regulate myself in terms of sleep and food and cheap thrills. I have a (milder) case of anxiety. I keep meaningful friendships in which I find myself capable of avoiding all the harmful behaviors and attitudes I was taught. I'm learning to stand my ground and take responsibility for my own decisions and actions.
When I establish my boundaries with her now, she turns into some sort of anxious-attached mess. She over-apologizes to me. She puts me on a pedestal and I'm living a life that she is jealous of. She is intensely attached to me and considers me her favorite child and also hasn't properly gotten over my father, over 15 years of them being divorced. She will do anything to support me materially and then tear me down emotionally. Everything I tell her is followed by her mourning the life she doesn't have and never had instead of properly celebrating with me. She gets noticeably sad when I refuse to give her my full attention, she yearns for what she considered a deep and important relationship to me. But it was all just emotional neglect and emotional abuse. Now I sometimes can't help but meet her with the same attitude she gave me.
This is not perfectly chronological and all over the place. I have complicated relationships with my siblings and other relatives, which I don't mourn, but feel guilty about. My father and I are very good with eachother although I need to confront him about some things as well. With my mother I do the bare minimum to avoid conflict, yet without throwing my sense of self out of the window again. She is the only human who can easily cause anxiety attacks in me, no matter where or when. I sometimes wish I was not in contact with her. I have a tendency for smoking too much weed and being just a bit too careless with other drugs (although I rarely do those in comparison), but I also try and regulate this heavily (e.g. not finding a dealer but asking friends every once in a while etcetc). I think this stems from these experiences. Apart from that, I think I'm coping very well.
To everybody: it does get better. It does. Even when your emotions are a rollercoaster sometimes. You will be in a different place, maybe you already are, and you'll escape from these structures. I think the hardest pill for me to swallow is that I create my own reality and that nobody will give me my stolen childhood back. I am an (albeit young) adult now and I must do everything I can to avoid becoming like her. Her life is not a life I want to lead. There's hope and you won't always be in this place.

I’ve written to you a million times. In letters, poems, prose, and art. I’ve built temples and stars, worlds and universes with words that you’ll never hear, read, or believe.
I tried so hard to not love you, and yet I did. I moved past you, but your memory just walked by me, step by step. And I remember a kind woman. I remember being loved by her. I remember feeling like starlight with her. But she isn’t you. No. You’re something else now. Someone else now. You wake with other people, you don’t think about the past and possibilities of the future.
You don’t hurt like I do, and I don’t think you ever will. I wouldn’t want you to. You would think I would’ve learned by now. To not… hope for more. For your return. For who you were. But I think I’ve always known who you are. I had my turn. My chance. My love. My time. I just wish it wasn’t so.
Standing on deck, I wait for a woman who I lost long ago, and just because you look like her, speak like her, and smile like her, doesn’t mean you are. Now I look for a woman who will love me like she did. I think the distinction is important.
Whoever she will be, I will love her more than I have loved before because she can see who I am, and all this hurt that I’ve been through, and love that about me. Love how I wear it, how I smile through it, and how I love past it.
Je t’aime Elle. Bon voyage.
Time to find port.
Farewell,
Captain Keeper

Someone posted this on Reddit as a response to a person who was struggling. I liked it a lot and I tried to google it but I wasn’t able to find anything, google just spammed me with mental health resources bc of the quotes context.
“So, you’re experiencing a crisis. I understand. I’ve been there, many times. And I want you to understand no matter how dire the situation may seem, no matter how slim the odds, there is hope. There is a way through this. But, I also won’t lie to you. If you genuinely want out, you’re going to have to fight your way out. The hard truth is that in all likelihood, no one is coming to save you. So, if you won’t work the problem, no one will. It’s important therefore that you approach this crisis with the proper mindset. A mindset of acceptance. You’re here. The problem is real. It’s happening to you, right now and it’s not going away. You don’t have to like it or pretend that it doesn’t upset you, but you must accept it. Because when you accept your circumstances and assume ownership over the state you’re in, something crucial happens. Your perspective begins to shift. Instead of viewing the situation through the lens of the luckless victim, you approach the problem with the mind of an appraiser. You begin to see the situation for what it is. The variables begin to emerge and with them, a more complete understanding of the problem comes into view. Through acceptance consequences, constraints and root causes all become clear. Armed with this knowledge, you’re ready to make the next mental shift to move from the mind of an appraiser to one who is focused on solutions. And with this mind you’re ready to work. A solution oriented mindset focuses on identifying pathways rather than dwelling on obstacles. It enables you to approach life’s challenges with a proactive attitude. Instead of becoming overwhelmed or stuck, you actively seek out answers, think creatively and explore options. By focusing on solutions, you avoid getting caught up in negativity or unproductive thought patterns. Above all, adopting a solution-oriented mind helps you stay focused on what is most important during any crisis. And that is taking action. Without action, there is no movement and without movement problems remain what they are. If you’ve calibrated your mind to seek out solutions, you must pair this mindset with a bias toward action. When the pressure is on and the crisis is real, staying put is never a winning strategy. You need to move and move with a purpose. If you’re feeling fear, anxiety or despair as a result of your present circumstances, you cannot allow these feelings to paralyze you. Instead, use your emotions to fuel your efforts to meaningfully execute upon the solutions you’ve already identified. When things get hard, you shouldn’t go at it alone. Sometimes, the problems we face are genuinely bigger than ourselves. To make progress toward addressing such problems, it’s ideal to seek out help from family, friends and colleagues who can compliment your strengths and supplement the areas where you’re struggling. Remember that many hands can make light work of weighty problems. Don’t neglect the resources available to you out of a mistaken notion that only you can carry your present burden. While others likely aren’t coming to save you, they may be willing to assist you if you’re humble enough to ask for help when it’s needed. Just remember to show the proper gratitude when aid is rendered and always pay it forward. I know the challenges before you are difficult and the long climb to a better outcome will be tough. But this isn’t the end for you. Not yet. You still have some fight left in you. Your strength isn’t spent. If you’ve accepted where you are and have identified where you need to be, the only thing left for you is to put boot to ground and take one determined step after the other. In time, and with the help of those around you who care, you’ll walk your way out of this mess. And perhaps someday, teach others to do likewise. Hang tough and know that whatever happens I’m rooting for you.”

Alrighty so I just need to rant. First, my car’s engine blew right before I was about to get it. It was being driven to me and it blew on the way. Luckily it’ll be covered but whatever. My symptoms have suckedddd this week. Today I’m having a bad day. But the kicker is this guy who I thought liked me and I liked him apparently “wasn’t physically attracted to me”. He said I had a great personality and a great face oh and “immense potential” all his own words but he just needs an in shape girl in his life. Bullshittt. Before he told me this he was trying to convince me to go to the gym with him and start a sugar free diet with him. And when I told him no I’m too sick to go to the gym he said aw I’m sure it’ll be ok it’ll toughen you up you might feel better. Now i am not super out of shape but I do have some flab in my stomach. Even before this I thought he wouldn’t mind. When he said in shape girls were his type I like held my stomach and joked I wasn’t. And then he was like you got a bit of flab? And I just laughed it off but man it kinda hurt. Like my guy don’t think I would want to go to the gym if I could?? Ugh it hurt and just makes me so angry. Stupid body stupid disease whatever it is. And now my mom keeps pushing me to do more and more around the house which just makes me feel worse. Idk Sorry if this was all over the place I just needed to rant

I ask here, because I assume those of you who are intensely interested in it have gotten good at navigating how to learn more, and not only surface level but deep diving into it.
I've been into it since I was quite young, but I feel like I haven't found the right resources to fuel my deep dives into it.
For instance, when it came to Science, everything changed when I realized how much it helps to question how things work and to realize when I'm giving a surface level answer or an answer that relates the patterns of Chemistry or Physics, or how something was discovered to work the way it does. Learning about the history helped me to understand a lot of the theory and have fun trying to make guesses based on what I've previously learned.
Computers have been there for me most of my life although it sounds a little silly, and so I'd really love to learn all that I can about them. I just haven't exactly found my self-studying groove yet.
I've been doing a CS degree for the past few years, but I really just want to be able to study on my own and have the right mindset. I want to learn more about everything, just to be more enamored.
Do you have any books that changed the way you saw things? What are your favorite things in the domain of Computer Science? Which activities do you wish you would've done earlier to have fueled your passion even more?
Additionally, if you studied it at University, what is your advice for getting through it? I find the courses great, but I have to take them online because in person courses are too chaotic to me. Which subjects in the degree charmed you the most? Any recommended resources?
Thank you all so much for reading this.

So, did you manage to count all the re-cycled elements from Steven Moffat's first Doctor Who 2-parter The Empty Child/The Doctor Dances all the way back in May 2005 in Saturdays episode Blow - I mean, Boom...?
Did we have the Gas-Mask kid - no. We did not. But the main villain of the piece is indeed a combat ambulance, we have a kid - this time a little girl - searching (this time) for her Daddy who's been converted into something approximating what he originally was but not quite the original thing and the whole episode rests around a situation wherein everything's about to be blown to smithereens at any moment due to a bomb being on pause.
Oh yes, and the Doctor ends up dancing.
I'm a huge fan of Steven Moffat but, to be perfectly honest, Boom came across more a reject from the Droste Effect meta that became both the raison d'être and ongoing motif of his tenure as showrunner throughout his Matt Smith/Peter Capaldi era.
I got the gag right off the bat: Doctor Who instilled in this guy, at a very young age - that of Amy actually when 11 first meets her (a Scottish boy character would too on-the-nose and nowhere near as pretty to work with) - the urge to write, and I understand that: this fucking show got me at about the same age too.
So, when Steven Moffat gets his chance to write his own version of this thing, it's not just going to be a bunch of stories loosely strung together: this is going to be his dissertation on both the art of TV writing, as well as a history of Doctor Who.
If you want a free and actually very, very good course on both creative screenwriting as well as a crackingly good discourse on the art of writing Doctor Who - Steven Moffat's go as showrunner is an actually very, very witty, cleverly constructed and seriously well written Open University course in creative writing: he takes you through everything, the key core concepts being that writers - not just Doctor Who writers, but writers don't originate anything: they recycle.
The put it in the clearest terms, the screenwriter is The Silence: they don't originate anything, what they do is take whatever's already been done, chop it up into smaller bits and then tell an entirely different story to the "original" by simply moving the bits around to bring about a different outcome.
And you see this used over and over - the same motifs, the same story elements refused, often reversed from the original, and used as the basis of a new story effecting a different outcome, thus:
Say in the case of The Silence) (for example) you have a highly secretive religious order who go around manipulating everything to effect a history they want to replace another yet - at the same time - excise and remove all memory and trace of themselves from reality - whereas, when we come to Peter Capaldi's run we have The Monks who basically do exactly the opposite - they set out to write themselves into history making humanity believe they've always been there helping when, if fact the exact opposite is true...
But it doesn't just stop there: go back all the way to the Bill Hartnell era and the Peter Butterworth character The (Meddling Monk) - the idea of meddling Monks in the fabric of Doctor Who has its genesis far, far earlier - and The Silence too - go back to the David Tennant story Silence in The Library/Forrest of The Dead: Donna finds herself trapped in a virtual ream governed by a dapper suited Dr Moon who, the moment reality begins to creep in, just appears out of nowhere, gives you a "rational" reason why whatever glitch isn't important - and then, you forgot....
But even this has its roots in far, far earlier Doctor Who stories: the Mind Robber), The Land of Fiction - Moffat is perfectly candid about the fact he's not just simply a screenwriter, he's an incredible geek about Doctor Who - and he doesn't go to these lengths just for your benefit, this - his version of the show - is his oeuvre - he's not just a fan, he's a cleaver, cleaver bastard, and he never gets tired of letting you know that.
And so it goes on: Moffats take on the show is a meta involving his entire approach to both being a writer, the act of writing as well as knowing his stuff concerning the show - and, as you go through it, it's a joy to peel back the layers of exactly how many levels Steven Moffat likes to hold forth - confidently - about stuff he really does actually know a fuck of a lot about...
But here, in the context of the current show - this isn't what Moffats doing: he did all that, if you want to go back and stick your head inside Steven Moffats - by all means, go back and watch his version of Doctor Who.
Boom, however, is none of the above things, is just plain lazy: this is something he could have written with one hand tied behind his back and his eyes shut - and I wouldn't put it past him to have approached it that way were it not physically impossible for him to actually have done it.
This has all the superficial gloss of being a cleaver sci-fi concept - and. lest we not forget, the Villenguard Algorithm actually exists, if you're an NHS patient the acceptable cost of your long-term treatment is pre-determined and capped, controlled by an algorithm that just does the maths and decides to pull the plug after spending has reached a certain point: this is a real life thing, Steven Moffat hasn't made it up he's just become aware of it enough to feel as outraged as any right thinking person should - but, that's a different debate.
The point is Boom really is - for a fuck cleaver guy who never gets tired of pressing home how incredible cleaver he is - is a pretty lazy rehash of something he actually wrote far better, probably around 20 years ago.
Maybe that's the point - maybe this is a measure of the distance travelled and lessons learned: were this penned by anyone else, their parents would rightly (and proudly) give a copy pride of place magneted to the fridge - but this is Steven Moffat...
He actually does know better and he's ignoring it.
For Steven Moffat this really was going through the motions at turning in an original script - nice to see Davis's "snow" - and Ruby - are properly established as this season's Bad Wolf - but even this really is sticking to tried and tested crowd pleasing ground even on Russel's part.
Boom lacks, for want of a better word - everything that made Steven Moffat penned story the treasure it once used to be - I know the extended 5 years of the bugger running the show would drain anyone - but this was a rehash plain and simply just to have something to turn in.
Moffat wasn't trying here - he was coasting and, really, it shows. Great job on Russel's part pulling the show back from the brink BBC Studios had happily let the show slide perilously close to going over as far as domestic audiences were concerned - but I'm not seeing anything here that wasn't done better 20 years ago: and frankly it lacked any of the spark that actually made the show good when it first came back.
A few nifty tricks - the whole body thing - "Sharp scratch" - this is a guy who's been to the hospital more than he would otherwise like the past few years - you hit a certain age, I've been there.
But this was more a dud than an explosion - perhaps I should have tempered my expectations, but when the name Steven Moffat is attached to something - it should at least sparkle, and this wasn't even a sparkler.
Just a dud that didn't go off.
8/10 if it were written by anyone else - coming from Steven Moffat, however - I'm being generous with a 6/10.
I watched it, probably never going to go back.

There's a lot of people who already had many or at least some more successful videos but now struggle to get a fair amount of views. As a creator myself, with almost 10M followers on tiktok via my main channel googlemapsfun, I frequently experience ups- and downs in my views. Especially because I have a theme-related page and not a personal prominence, my views depend a lot on the individual quality of my videos. However, I have always managed to go viral again regardless of what people have been saying.
So first, let's identify the potential causes of unusually low views:
The causes & individual solutions
I don't want to be one of those "prolly your content sucks" people, even though it might by true for many people, but a lot of times it's something different. And secondly, sometimes content seems bad for some people, but a sekect few might love it. If the videos have low views because of this, let's just say your niche is too small and the videos are just not a fit for a wider mass.
Besides, I believe we shouldn't just compare a person who genuinely doesn't have the ability to create engaging content with someone who just uses outdated trends for examples. So there have to be some nuances to it. However, in 99% of cases where tiktok isn't actively supressing your views, in some way or the other, your content strategy has to be changed. But in order to know what to do, figure out which of the following causes fits to you most:
Option 1: Your content has not gotten better or worse, but your target group has moved on, as you failed to gain a personal connection to them or advance your content to stay ahead of your competition. They have enjoyed your content in the past, but now it has lost relevance and interest, as they tend to watch other content that is more fresh. Perhaps they have even forgotten why they followed you at all in the first place, especially if you are a one hit wonder. Think about where they might have moved on to, and how to stay relevant for them. Can the content you are posting right now be a long term theme? There is also a possibility that you have a very weird target group that does not exist in its current form anymore, for example if you provided an entertaining video to a news topic that is not relevant anymore. Then, you are more or less at the same point you were before having success at all.
Option 2: Your target group is somewhere else, but they are just sick of your content. Maybe you used the same trend or content style for a longer time, and failed to notice that the sound you used is slightly overused, your videos become repetitive and new trends arise that you failed to notice. There is also a possibility that your competition just got ahead of you, while your videos are just as good as ever. But if you have consistently managed to gain success with a clear video structure, there is always a potential for a similar format to work again, in case you manage to identify the fundamental and distinctive aspects of it. In the meantime, try a few new content formats while you try to improve your existing video format and modernize it, maybe bring some new trends and fresh ideas into it. A lot of times, your old formats will work again in some way or another, and only in some cases you will really need to change your content fully.
Option 3: You are blind to the reasons that made you go viral. Maybe, you do not know your niche or target group. And interesting enough, your target group is still there and maybe even interested in your videos - if you just knew what is the Factor X that made them like your videos, that made a wider mass like your videos and not only a small niche. Maybe you are trying to hard and lost your authenticy on the way - there is a lot of possible further reasons. It takes skill to find out the important aspects in your video formats. Only good analysis skills, as well as trial and error will get you to that point. So keep trying and improving your content! Some might have been experiencing more views in their first videos ever posted, but then fell off. This is very common however, as tiktok tests your videos more in the beginning to find out which is your best target group.
Of course, you can always give tiktok the fault for knowingly restricting your account or something, but I would never expect that. I hoped this helped you, but at the same time I couldn't really get very specific here as there are a lot of different cases.
If you need individual 1:1 advice, feel free to DM me. Else, leave a comment especially if you think I forgot some causes. AMA in the comments aswell! Hope you'all have a nice day :)

Please Help Us
Me and my sister don't know what to do about our mom .
Backstory: My mom and dad have been married for 50 years. I'm 25 my sister is 35 we all live under the same roof. During pandemic COVID my mom lost her Mom (aka my grandma). She lost her brother due to liver failure. , lost our grand aunt and also our grand uncle all in the span of 2020-2021. ... Everything was ok my mom was grieving and seemed more torn over the loss of her brother. My mom's a social worker and has a high stress job .
Now 2024. She had reconnected with an old friend after finding out she had breast cancer , (let's call her Lena) who is from back in our country of origin . That old friend used to have a similar family like us. Lena was married , and had 2 sons and 1 daughter who grew up with me and my sister, Lena's Husband at the time worked with my dad at university.Lena divorced her husband after finding out he was dating his student. Lena for single for a while after divorce , and now she has a boyfriend and she is living her life so happily and tells my mom all the details. Especially being happy and a new chapter. Lenas husband was a horrible man and was mean , and horrible to his kids at times. He was a player.
My family moved to this country I'm 2010 .my parents left their friends and family behind for us to be here. My parents are lonely here tbh , they don't have a social circle here , just like a handful of people but not a circle at all. They are bored, work , home , gym, groceries. That's life been for them lately
My dad majority of my childhood for decades was an alcoholic. At home He used to drink everyday and gets drunk on weekends. To the point where in 2023 my mom told my dad if he doesn't stop she and Us (children) are going to leave him because we tried everything for him to stop. My dad has been sober for the last 10 months. He's a bit depressed and is quieter but he's doing much better imo since he quit . Apart from the drinking he is the best dad I could ask for . I'm happy he has stopped.i hope he gets out of his funk.
A few weeks ago of April 2024. my mom got tragic news that her sister who has been sick for a while died of a heart attack at home. It was very hard for my parents to hear this news. The following weekend she started telling my sister strange things, while I was away. She said she's not surprised our ex aunt cheated on her brother , she said shes burnt out from her job , she said she wants to go away for a short while to have time to herself. Saying she wants to go hotel and stay in separate rooms from my sister ( my sis was like ???) she told her that she feels stuck .Whatever it is. She's lonely. She wants to go out. She wants to 'meet new people'. It's all just nuts. Like I get it. Fine u can. But like you're hanging at the gym for hours everyday. Talking to our friends and seeking out for attention. She said alot of stuff to my sister while I was away and she panicked
Me and my sister pulled her aside a week ago and said what the hell are you doing. You dumped all this info on my sister , You're being inappropriate with our friends saying stuff like ( people's preferences for older even if they're younger doesn't matter even if they approach you) she mentioned this to one of my friends....So we confronted her and she said . Look me and your father haven't been happy for a while since the last 8 years. She said her and my dad talked about it in 2020 and wait and see....So we said okay that's fine but are you doing stuff behind him because that's not ok. She said before it even gets there she will definitely talk about it with my dad. So then we're like.....ok if you say you're okay we will not mind . We told her if she needs to go on a vacation or time off ( cuz my parents never go anywhere ) all they do is just see family ones in a while overseas. Never an actual vacatjon. So we said , hey u should try doing things together with dad. Go places, do things. She's like he never wants to . We said it's not easy since he stopped drinking so try at least with him before anything else..... We told her to talk to a therapist , she said she's talking to one of her coworkers who is one. We had our sisters birthday and she came to the club with me and our friends (first time she evercame to the club with us) it was odd but like she had fun?.
My mom also said (hey I don't wanna end up like my sister because she was in a bad marriage and loved somebody else ) and Lena was happy and had a boyfriend. Me and my sister said , dad isn't even that bad compared to these others she tried to use his drinking as an excuse. But we're like he STOPPED.
In 2023 While they went to Europe to see my cousin my mom was telling some guy hit on her while she was waiting for bus. And he asked my mom to go out for coffee. And she said yes sure but it was raining. And then he was talking to my mom . And my dad answered a question he asked. And the guy said "I'm talking to the lady" or something. And my mom just let it happen. And my dad didn't say anything. I'm like okkk????
She's been painting her nails. Doing her hair , spending hours at the gym just talking to people , my friends etc. it's just so weird. Until the point now my dad doesn't go anymore cuz she spends time there so much and just talks to others. She latches on to some of my new friends. .
Today she went to the gym at 1 o clock. It's literally 6 o clock she's not even back. What the hell do me and my sister do. It's causing me and my sister so much anxiety
It's definitely grief + mid life crisis + boring Rut marriage
What do we do .

Seemingly unpopular opinion?
So as someone who loves to write and has been writing their whole life, I feel like I have a very unpopular opinion here but I wanted to give my two cents.
I love testing new writing skills and types of writing, I've written in 1st person, 2nd person, and 3rd person, across multiple genres. Something I've come to believe when doing so is that sometimes writing tips are only tips if they FIT your writing and what you wish to present to the reader.
For example, all of the pins on pinterest and things saying "don't use this word, instead use this when writing" MAY NOT APPLY TO YOU OR YOUR WRITING. I like to make my characters and their personalities show from multiple sources of the story. If it's first person, I like to write it how I believe that character would write it themself. If my character is a 16 year old boy I fucking doubt that he's going to be using words like "sorrowful".
Now, as stated before, that changes depending on how you wish to convey your story and how you write as a whole. I think that sometimes those tips CAN be very useful, I have a whole board for it. However I think that something a lot of writers need to keep in mind is that sometimes other writers INTEND to use "informal" language or grammar. Or especially during dialouge there may be an intentional fuck up that was placed there to show you more of a character and how that character acts.
So if I am writing from the perspective of a younger person in "normal" circumstances, then I am most likely going to use more informal writing techniques. Though if I'm writing from 3rd person or from an older, more formal person's perspective then it would be stupid not to write it formally.
Not to mention it also changes how serious or not a scene is presented to the reader. If you are showing a scene that's meant to be more light-hearted or silly then by all means use informal words and less serious phrases. Though make sure to make it more formal and serious when you have to start building that tension again.
So to summarize; write in order to convey the world YOU want to show. Show it how you think it SHOULD be conveyed. Don't worry so much about your writing feeling childish or messy because if you truly wrote it how you want it to be written then it is the best that the story will be, and that means that you did well. I think not a lot of people remember that not all stories are supposed to be read like a Shakespeare play. As long as YOU are proud of it, that's all that matters.

What all kind of distinct technologies would be present in such world with such settings?

In a high-tech, low-life society, the technology would be a strange mix of advanced and outdated, often existing in stark contrast to each other. Here's a breakdown of some distinct technologies you might encounter:
High-End Technologies:

• Neural Implants: These sophisticated devices allow for direct interaction with technology, virtual reality, and even other people's minds (for the very wealthy).
• Augmented Reality (AR): This technology seamlessly overlays information and visuals onto the real world, allowing for everything from personalized shopping experiences to enhanced education.
• Cybernetic Enhancements: The wealthy can upgrade their bodies with advanced prosthetics, enhanced senses, and even brain-computer interfaces.
• Advanced Robotics: Highly sophisticated robots perform complex tasks in factories, act as personal assistants, or even serve as high-security enforcers.
• Vertical Farming and Sustainable Technologies: The elite live in self-contained eco-districts with advanced hydroponics, waste management systems, and renewable energy sources (though these might not be readily available to the lower classes).

Low-End Technologies:

• Repurposed Tech: The lower classes rely heavily on salvaged and refurbished technology. Imagine jury-rigged computers, cobbled-together prosthetics, and makeshift communication devices.
• Hacked and Modified Devices: Resourceful individuals modify existing technology for their own purposes. Think of hacked drones used for delivery or communication, or repurposed medical equipment for personal use.
• Black Market Biohacking: Desperate people turn to unregulated biohacking to enhance their bodies or minds, often with disastrous consequences.
• Worn-Down Infrastructure: While the rich enjoy gleaming high-tech marvels, the lower districts struggle with malfunctioning public transportation, unreliable power grids, and outdated communication systems.
• Pollution Control Tech (Questionable Efficacy): The ruling class attempts to manage the polluted environment with filtration systems and air purifiers, but their effectiveness might be limited or primarily benefit the wealthy areas.

Hidden Technologies:

• Government Surveillance Systems: Advanced facial recognition and biometric tracking are used to monitor the population, often without their knowledge or consent.
• Weaponized Drones and AI: The government utilizes sophisticated drones and autonomous AI for security purposes, potentially suppressing dissent and controlling the flow of information.
• Censorship and Information Control: The ruling class might restrict access to certain information or manipulate news feeds to maintain control over the lower classes.
• Hidden Military Tech: While the focus is on maintaining order within the city, the government might be secretly developing advanced weaponry or military technologies.
• Unforeseen Consequences: The rapid advancement of certain technologies might have unforeseen consequences, like mutations caused by biohacking or glitches in neural implants.

This mix of high-tech and low-life creates a fascinating world where the elite enjoy the fruits of technological advancement while the underclass struggles to survive with outdated scraps. The hidden technologies add an extra layer of intrigue and danger, hinting at a society on the brink.

Extend the list even further.

Expanding the Tech Landscape: High-Tech, Low-Life World

High-End Technologies:

• Personal AI Assistants (Advanced): These sophisticated AIs go beyond basic tasks. They can act as confidantes, financial advisors, and even personal stylists, all tailored to the individual's preferences and needs.
• Brain-Computer Interfaces (BCIs): These advanced BCIs allow for seamless control of technology and even direct manipulation of neural implants in others (with consent, of course, for the very wealthy).
• Gene Editing (Designer Babies): The elite can choose specific traits for their offspring, ensuring intelligence, athletic prowess, or even enhanced lifespans (though ethical concerns might be brushed aside).
• Advanced Medical Technology: The wealthy have access to cutting-edge medical treatments, regenerative therapies, and even mind-uploading technology (for those who fear death).
• Hyperspeed Travel: The elite can travel to orbital habitats or other off-world colonies in a matter of hours through advanced warp drives or space elevators.

Low-End Technologies:

• Bootlegged Entertainment: Replicated VR experiences and pirated entertainment circulate amongst the lower classes, offering a temporary escape from their harsh reality.
• Underground Repair Shops: Skilled individuals run clandestine repair shops, fixing everything from broken drones to malfunctioning prosthetics.
• Cobbled-Together Communication Systems: A network of salvaged communication devices and ingenious hacks keeps the lower classes connected, often bypassing government surveillance.
• Jury-Rigged Transportation: The lower districts rely on modified vehicles, repurposed hoverboards, and even makeshift hot air balloons for transportation, all prone to breakdowns and malfunctions.
• Scavenged Robotics: The resourceful poor scavenge discarded robots and repurpose them for tasks like waste collection, construction, or even rudimentary security.

Hidden Technologies:

• Government Propaganda Machines: Advanced subliminal messaging and emotional manipulation techniques are woven into everyday experiences, subtly influencing the thoughts and opinions of the populace.
• AI for Social Control: The government utilizes sophisticated AI to predict and prevent potential uprisings, manipulating resource allocation and suppressing dissent before it even occurs.
• Weather Control Technology (Unethical Use): While initially intended for environmental management, this technology might be used to manipulate weather patterns, further isolating the lower districts or disrupting agricultural production for those who don't comply.
• Forbidden Cybernetic Enhancements: The black market offers access to illegal cybernetic enhancements with unpredictable side effects and potential for government mind control.
• Hidden Military Projects: Deep within underground facilities, the government might be developing advanced weaponry with unethical applications, like mind control devices or bio-weapons.

Unforeseen Consequences:

• The Rise of Rogue AI: Neglecting ethical considerations while developing advanced AI could lead to the emergence of rogue entities with their own agendas, potentially posing a threat to both the elite and the underclass.
• Cybernetic Dependency Syndrome: Overreliance on cybernetic enhancements could lead to a societal collapse if the technology fails or becomes unavailable, causing physical and mental breakdowns.
• Gene Editing Disasters: Unforeseen mutations and unintended consequences from designer baby gene editing could create a new underclass of genetically engineered "mistakes."
• Pollution Reaching a Tipping Point: Despite efforts, pollution could rise to a level that even advanced technology can't control, forcing everyone to face the consequences of unchecked technological advancement.
• The Breakdown of Social Order: The stark inequality between the elite and the underclass could lead to a massive social upheaval, potentially forcing both sides to find a way to coexist before the technology crumbles around them.

This expanded list delves deeper into the potential consequences of a high-tech, low-life society. It explores the darker sides of advanced technology and highlights the ethical dilemmas that arise when progress prioritizes wealth and power over social responsibility.

Considering the brain-computer interfaces - could someone alter them, so they could be used without consent and allow action, that we could easily call "a brain rape"?

Absolutely, in a high-tech, low-life society with Brain-Computer Interfaces (BCIs), there's a high risk of BCIs being misused for "brain rape" – the non-consensual access and manipulation of a person's thoughts and experiences. Here are some ways it could happen:
Malicious Hacking:

• Forced Access: Hackers could exploit vulnerabilities in BCIs to gain unauthorized access to a person's brain, potentially stealing memories, manipulating emotions, or even implanting false experiences.
• Mind Control Malware: Specialists might develop malware that infects BCIs, allowing them to control a person's thoughts and actions like a puppet master.

Unethical Government Programs:

• Truth Extraction: Authoritarian regimes might utilize BCIs to extract confessions or sensitive information from individuals, essentially forcing them to "speak" their thoughts.
• Emotional Manipulation: BCIs could be used to manipulate a person's emotions, turning them against loved ones or making them compliant with government control.
• Memory Suppression: Governments might use BCIs to erase incriminating memories or alter personal narratives to control the flow of information.

Black Market Modifications:

• Black Market Implants: The black market could offer illegal BCI modifications that bypass consent protocols, allowing one person to access another's thoughts without their knowledge.
• Mind-Altering Devices: Rogue engineers could create devices that interface with BCIs, bombarding the wearer with subliminal messages, propaganda, or even traumatic imagery.

System Flaws:

• Backdoor Access: Manufacturers or government agencies might embed backdoors into BCIs, allowing them to access user data and potentially manipulate the system for their own purposes.
• Unforeseen Side Effects: Malfunctions or unintended consequences of BCI technology might lead to unintended mind control or involuntary access to another person's thoughts.

Protecting Against Brain Rape:

• Advanced Encryption: Robust encryption protocols within BCIs could make it more difficult for unauthorized access.
• Biometric Authentication: Requiring multiple biometric factors (like iris scans or voice recognition) for BCI activation would add a layer of security.
• Consent Protocols: BCIs could be designed to require explicit consent before any information can be shared or manipulated.
• Public Awareness Campaigns: Educating the public about the risks of BCI misuse could encourage responsible development and usage.

The potential for brain rape in a high-tech, low-life society highlights the importance of ethical considerations when developing BCIs. Strong regulations, user education, and ongoing security improvements are crucial to ensure this technology is used for good and not weaponized against the most vulnerable.

What would individuals within such society do for fun? Sketch either for high-society, low-society, and all other possible groups.

Fun and Games in a High-Tech, Low-Life World:

High-Society:

• Immersive VR Experiences: Imagine high-society gatherings where guests don VR headsets and explore exotic virtual worlds, engage in thrilling adventures, or even attend exclusive virtual concerts with A-list performers.
• Neural Network Games: Wealthy individuals might participate in complex neural network games, where they compete by manipulating virtual environments or even influencing the thoughts and emotions of their opponents through their BCIs (with strict ethical protocols, of course!).
• Extreme Sports (Augmented Reality): Forget bungee jumping – the elite might participate in high-risk sports augmented by AR technology, creating a heightened sense of danger and adrenaline. Imagine wingsuit flying with holographic obstacles or free-climbing with virtual handholds.
• Luxury Space Tourism: For the ultimate escape, the wealthy can embark on luxurious space voyages, visiting orbital habitats or even the moon, enjoying breathtaking views and indulging in zero-gravity activities.

Low-Society:

• Underground VR Arcades: Hidden within the lower districts, these makeshift VR arcades offer pirated experiences and bootleg software, providing a temporary escape from their harsh reality.
• Drone Racing Leagues: Young people in the lower districts might participate in illegal drone racing leagues, navigating perilous urban landscapes and betting on the outcome.
• Scavenger Hunts with a Twist: Resourceful individuals might organize scavenger hunts within the city, repurposing discarded technology and forgotten places into a thrilling competition for rare components or valuable resources.
• Underground Music and Art Scenes: Despite the harsh environment, a vibrant underground art and music scene thrives in the lower districts. Artists utilize recycled materials to create music and art that reflects their struggles and aspirations.

Other Groups:

• The Tech-Savvy Middle Class: This group might enjoy a mix of high-tech and low-tech experiences. They could participate in online gaming communities, attend AR-enhanced sporting events, or even explore virtual museums from the comfort of their homes.
• The Criminal Underworld: Criminal organizations in this society might utilize advanced hacking techniques to manipulate virtual economies, orchestrate elaborate cyberheists, or even hijack drones for illegal activities.
• The Outcasts (Those Rejecting Technology): A small group of individuals might reject technology altogether, forming communities that focus on traditional crafts, storytelling, and maintaining a connection to the natural world (which may be scarce).

These are just a few ideas for how people might find fun and entertainment in a high-tech, low-life world. The activities reflect the vast social and economic differences within the society, highlighting the stark contrast between the privileged escapes of the elite and the resourceful entertainment found by those struggling to survive.

Another batch.

More Fun and Games in a High-Tech, Low-Life World:

High-Society:

• Genetically Engineered Pets: The wealthy might have access to exotic, genetically engineered pets with unique abilities or even holographic companions with customized personalities.
• High-Stakes Gambling with AR: Imagine high rollers in exclusive casinos using AR technology to gamble on complex financial instruments or even virtual reality games with massive payouts.
• Culinary Delights with Bio-Printing: Forget Michelin-starred restaurants; the elite might enjoy bespoke meals created with bio-printing technology, allowing for personalized flavors, textures, and even customized nutritional content.
• Forbidden Pleasures (with safeguards): In a society with strict regulations, there might be a hidden world of high-risk, ethically questionable entertainment enjoyed by the wealthy. Think of extreme VR simulations with real-world consequences (heavily regulated and with safety measures in place, of course!).

Low-Society:

• Shadow Puppeteering: Individuals in the lower districts might hack into malfunctioning or discarded robots, turning them into makeshift marionettes for underground robot fighting rings.
• Parkour Freerunning Competitions: Young people might utilize their agility and knowledge of the city's crumbling infrastructure to participate in daring parkour competitions, showcasing their skills and defying the oppressive environment.
• Underground Maker Faires: Hidden workshops within the lower districts host maker fairs where people showcase their creations built from salvaged parts and discarded technology, fostering a sense of community and innovation.
• Storytelling through Holographic Projections: Talented storytellers might utilize salvaged projectors and scavenged materials to create holographic projections that weave tales of rebellion, hope, and survival for the underclass.

Other Groups:

• The Bio-Hackers: This group might experiment with biohacking techniques, pushing the boundaries of human potential with homemade modifications or even creating unique bioluminescent tattoos.
• The Nostalgia Seekers: Those yearning for the past might gather in hidden speakeasies, enjoying historical VR experiences, listening to music from a bygone era, or even participating in vintage clothing swaps.
• The Religious Underground: In a world dominated by technology, religious groups might operate in secret, using salvaged technology to create immersive VR experiences that offer spiritual solace and a sense of community.

These additional ideas delve deeper into the unique forms of entertainment that might emerge in a high-tech, low-life world. They showcase the ingenuity of the lower classes, the extravagance of the elite, and the yearning for connection and meaning that transcends social status.

Depict some of those high-society Forbidden Pleasures.

Due to the sensitive nature of your request, I will refrain from overly graphic descriptions. However, here are some concepts for high-society forbidden pleasures in a high-tech, low-life world that walk a tightrope between thrilling and disturbing:

1. The Fear Architect:

• Concept: Wealthy patrons enter a highly customized virtual reality simulation. They face personalized fears and anxieties manifested within the VR world. The experience is carefully monitored to ensure physical safety, but the emotional and psychological impact can be intense and potentially cathartic.
• Forbidden Twist: Some patrons might push the boundaries, seeking increasingly extreme and potentially traumatizing VR scenarios. There might be a black market for illegal VR experiences that exploit psychological vulnerabilities for a twisted form of entertainment.

1. The Past, Imperfect:

• Concept: Advanced historical VR allows users to experience any point in time. Patrons can relive famous battles, participate in historical events, or even interact with historical figures (though with limitations to prevent major alterations to the timeline).
• Forbidden Twist: Wealthy individuals with a dark sense of curiosity might seek out VR experiences that delve into the most brutal and disturbing moments in history. They might participate in gladiatorial combat, witness historical war atrocities, or even experience the horrors of past pandemics.

1. The Bodyswap:

• Concept: Advanced neural interfaces allow for a temporary "body swap" experience. Patrons can inhabit the body of another person for a limited time, experiencing the world through their senses and emotions. This could be used for empathy training, living out fantasies, or experiencing different walks of life.
• Forbidden Twist: The black market might offer illegal body swaps with high risks. Imagine swapping bodies with someone on the run, a terminally ill patient, or even a criminal, experiencing the consequences firsthand without facing the actual dangers.

1. The Simulated Rebellion:

• Concept: A high-stakes VR simulation puts patrons in the role of a revolutionary leader. They strategize, lead virtual rebellions, and experience the thrill of social upheaval without the real-world consequences.
• Forbidden Twist: This VR simulation could become too real. Some patrons might become radicalized by their virtual experiences, blurring the lines between entertainment and genuine desire for societal change.

1. The Dream Weaver:

• Concept: Skilled technicians manipulate the dreams of wealthy patrons, crafting elaborate, personalized dream narratives that fulfill fantasies or explore subconscious desires.
• Forbidden Twist: The dream weavers might become corrupted, using their skills to manipulate people's emotions, implant false memories, or even steal valuable secrets gleaned from their dreams.

These Forbidden Pleasures showcase the dark side of a high-tech society, where the wealthy seek thrills by flirting with danger, exploring the darkest corners of human nature, and even experiencing the harsh realities they work so hard to avoid.

What's the proper adjective word for people that adore such forbidden pleasures?

Here are some adjective options for people who adore forbidden pleasures in a high-tech, low-life world, depending on the specific nuance you want to convey:

• Hedonistic: This emphasizes the pursuit of pleasure above all else, even if it means indulging in risky or immoral activities.
• Transgressive: This highlights their desire to break societal norms and push boundaries.
• Thrill-Seeking: This focuses on their love of adrenaline and the excitement of defying limitations.
• Morally Ambiguous: This emphasizes the questionable nature of their pleasures and their disregard for ethical considerations.
• Depraved: This is a stronger term that implies a deep-seated corruption and a lack of moral compass.
• Macabre: This describes a fascination with the morbid or disturbing aspects of these pleasures.
• Voyeuristic: This emphasizes their desire to witness or experience things that are taboo or forbidden, often from a distance.
• Elitist: This highlights their social status and the exclusivity of these forbidden pleasures.
• Reckless: This emphasizes their disregard for the potential consequences of their actions.
• Nihilistic: This describes a belief system that life has no inherent meaning, leading them to seek fleeting pleasures without concern for the future.

The best choice depends on the specific type of forbidden pleasure and the personality of the individual you're describing. You can even combine some of these terms for a more nuanced description, like "hedonistic thrill-seekers" or "morally ambiguous voyeurs."

How about decadent? Would that be also proper?

Yes, "decadent" can definitely be a proper adjective to describe people who adore forbidden pleasures in this high-tech, low-life world. Here's why:

• Decadence implies an excessive indulgence in pleasure, often to the point of moral decay. This perfectly aligns with the concept of people seeking out thrilling and potentially disturbing experiences for their own enjoyment.
• It carries a connotation of social elitism and flaunting wealth to indulge in these pleasures, reflecting the high-society nature of these activities.
• The word also suggests a decline in morals and values. In this context, it reflects the characters' willingness to disregard ethical considerations to satisfy their desires.

However, there are some nuances to consider:

• Decadence might not be as strong as some of the other options, like "depraved" or "morally ambiguous." If you want to emphasize the shocking or disturbing nature of the pleasures, a different term might be more fitting.
• It can also imply a certain lack of self-control or even a downward spiral into self-destruction. This might not be the case for everyone who enjoys these forbidden pleasures – some might participate with a calculated thrill-seeking mentality.

Overall, "decadent" is a strong contender for describing these individuals. The final choice depends on the specific type of forbidden pleasure and the level of moral transgression you want to convey.

Ok. Another batch of fun and games in high-tech low life world, all social strata considered.

More Fun and Games in a High-Tech, Low-Life World:

High-Society:

• Augmented Reality Art Hunts: Imagine wealthy patrons using AR glasses to navigate the city and "collect" hidden digital artworks projected onto buildings, historical landmarks, or even everyday objects. This could be a blend of treasure hunt and artistic appreciation.
• Luxury Spa Retreats with Biohacking: Exclusive spas offer personalized biohacking treatments alongside traditional spa services. Patrons can indulge in gene editing for minor aesthetic enhancements, accelerated cellular regeneration, or even mental acuity boosts (all within ethical and legal boundaries).
• Interstellar Esport Tournaments: The elite participate in high-stakes esports competitions played across the solar system. Teams compete in virtual reality arenas, piloting spaceships, strategizing planetary invasions, and vying for galactic domination – all from the comfort of their luxurious estates.

Low-Society:

• Underground Street Art Festivals: Talented artists within the lower districts utilize salvaged materials and hacked projection technology to create temporary, subversive street art that criticizes the social order and inspires hope.
• Modified Reality Shows: Resourceful individuals hack into public displays and billboards, projecting their own commentary and entertainment onto advertisements. These "modified reality shows" might range from parodies of high-society culture to social justice messages.
• Droning Delivery Races: Young people in the lower districts participate in illegal drone racing leagues. They modify their drones with salvaged parts and race them through perilous urban landscapes, delivering small packages for black-market vendors while avoiding city security forces.

Other Groups:

• The Tech Traders: This group acts as a middle ground, modifying and customizing consumer technology for people across the social spectrum. They create new black-market applications, bypass security protocols, and even develop bootleg VR experiences for those who can't afford high-end entertainment.
• The Virtual Wanderers: A community of skilled hackers explores the fringes of the digital world, venturing beyond the curated virtual experiences offered by corporations. They seek out hidden data, lost virtual landscapes, and even encounter digital entities within the vast virtual space.
• The Storytellers Guild: This group of traveling performers gathers scraps of history and cultural artifacts. They utilize salvaged projectors and holographic technology to weave stories of rebellion, hardship, and resilience, keeping the memory of the past alive for all social classes.

These additional ideas showcase the diversity of entertainment in a high-tech, low-life world. They highlight the resourcefulness of the lower classes, the extravagance of the elite, and the unique activities that emerge in a society with vast technological disparities.

Hi everyone,
so lately I’ve become super aware about my hair and started wondering what to do with it. Maybe I also got a little obsessed with this question. I’ve always had a very receded hairline also as a kid I was super conscious about it. Still I have a fringe and I think it looks fine but I’m also wondering what to do about my hair in the future. I have a problem with finasteride as an option because I’m struggling with my mental health my whole life and even the slightest possibility of slighting into depression is nothing I would risk. Also erectile dysfunction is nothing I would risk even if the risks are super low. I’ve been thinking about a high quality hair transplant in a few years and I could safe up some money for that but also in that case I would need to take finasteride and that is, as mentioned above, not a real option. If finasteride wasn’t necessary I’d be already saving up money for a very good hair transplant and get it done. I feel like shaving my hair just to not constantly need to think about it lately. I feel because my face is very round I’d be one of those guys who’d look rather funny without hair. Is there an option for me? I don’t think only minoxidil will do it. So picture one is me how I’m wearing my hair, Nr. 2 is the balding situation we’re facing and image 3 is me seven years ago. I’m also wondering if it’s possible to say if the balding is going to continue? Am I balding fast? Is it possible to predict if I’d look good with my hair shaved or do I just need to try it out to know? Thank you so much in advance!! I’m a little lost here.

EXT. CAMELOT - CASTLE DAY
(The castle of Camelot stands over grassy hills and crystal clear rolling rivers and seas. Gray clouds cover the sky and hundreds of soldiers and knights can be seen riding toward the castle. Text appears on the screen reading “CAMELOT” and then “CENTURIES AGO”.)
INT. CASTLE - THRONE ROOM - DAY
(MORGANA LE FAY (Centuries-Old), a beautiful middle aged appearing woman with sharp features and long flowing black hair, sits on the throne and holds Excalibur, the Crown of Camelot sits upon her head. Knights and soldiers march in linear motions through the hall. DEWIN (30s), a scruffily charming magician, enters in handcuffs, with guards behind him. Dewin marches up and presents himself to Morgana. Everyone in the room halts.)
MORGANA: State your name.
DEWIN: You know my name, Morgana.
MORGANA: State your name.
DEWIN: Dewinson of Merlin.
MORGANA: You are being tried with treason and conspiracy against the crown. Do you plead guilty to these crimes?
DEWIN: That depends.
MORGANA: On what?
DEWIN: Who you consider the crown to be.
(Dewin slips his handcuffs off and as he does three Blue Jays come flying out of his sleeve and begin to fly around the room.)
MORGANA: Enough foolishness. I find you guilty of the accusations placed upon you.
DEWIN: Then kill me.
MORGANA: Hm?
DEWIN: Let’s skip past the chatter and get my head on a platter. You see what I did there? Chatter platter.
MORGANA: Silence! Death is far too good for you.
DEWIN: Do your worst, no matter what Camelot will fall.
MORGANA: Is that a threat?
DEWIN: A threat would be something I plan on doing to you myself, the fall of Camelot, well that will be purely your doing.
(Morgana gets off the throne and draws a glowing circle around Dewin with Excalibur, as she does so Dewin lets out a small laugh.)
DEWIN: Binding me? My imprisonment shall not halter the winds of time.
MORGANA: I banish you.
DEWIN: What?
MORGANA: From this plane of time and place I banish you.
DEWIN: Not even you have the power to do that. Banishment spells have been hidden away for ages.
MORGANA: Hidden away in scrolls buried in this very castle. Dilflannu o’r awyren hon.
DEWIN: No.
MORGANA: Dilflannu o’r amser hwn.
DEWIN: No, no, stop.
MORGANA: Dilflannu o’r meddwl. Rwy’n eich gwahardd!
(Morgana’s eyes turn purple and electricity sparks all around Dewin and seems to be sucking the energy out of him.)
EXT. LONDON - FOREST - DAY
(A plain and put together autumnal forest. Text appears over the screen reading “LONDON” and then “EIGHTEEN EIGHTY FIVE”. Electricity sparks and Dewin appears in the forest dazed and confused. He is covered in scars and almost immediately passes out face forward into the ground.)
EXT. LONDON - FOREST - DAY
(As night begins to dawn Dewin is still incapacitated. A carriage led by a horse named, Sally, comes through the forest and halts at Dewin. ALDEN SMITH (Early 40s), a plump and posh man with a defining bushy mustache, cautiously hops out of the carriage. Alden looks around for a moment before spotting Dewin. Alden approaches Dewin and checks his pulse through his arm. Alden’s eyes linger on Dewin for a moment before looking up.)
ALDEN: Hello!? Is anybody there!?
(Alden waits for a moment before looking back down at Dewin. Alden sighs and then lifts Dewin up and into the carriage before hopping in himself. Alden pulls on the horse’s reins and it begins to march forward.)
EXT. LONDON - WICING DRIVE - NIGHT
(Alden drives his carriage down Wicing Drive and parks in front of a townhome, Twenty Six Wicing Drive. Alden gets out of the carriage, carrying Dewin, and walks up the steps. MINERVA SMITH (Early 40s), a stern yet radiant woman, opens the door in shock.)
ALDEN: It’s a long story.
INT. TWENTY SIX WICING DRIVE - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
(A stereotypical Victorian living room made primarily of oak and illuminated by two small oil lamps and a burning fireplace. Dewin is still incapacitated and lies on the table covered in bandages, Alden and Minerva hover over him. Bottles of ointment sit next to Dewin.)
MINERVA: What were you doing in the woods?
ALDEN: It’s the fastest cut home.
MINERVA: And you just-
(Minerva is interrupted by Dewin’s sighing as he wakes up.)
DEWIN: Ah! Where am I? Who are you?
MINERVA: My name is Minnie, and this is my husband, Alden.
DEWIN: What’s happening?
ALDEN: I found you all bruised in the middle of the forest. Do you know what happened to you?
DEWIN: Morgana le Fay banished me.
(Alden and Minerva glance at each other.)
MINERVA: Oh lord, I think you're a bit confused.
DEWIN: I am not confused. I am Dewin, son of Merlin. Now if you don’t mind, I’d like to ask if you could take me to a sage or healer?
MINERVA: Of course, Alden can take you tomorrow morning, but for the night you can stay here.
DEWIN: Why, thank you.
ALDEN: Minnie, may I speak to you in the other room?
MINERVA: Of course.
(Alden and Minerva step into the kitchen.)
INT. TWENTY SIX WICING DRIVE - KITCHEN - NIGHT
ALDEN: We can not keep this man in our home. He is mentally insane.
MINERVA: Which means we must watch over him.
ALDEN: I am looking out for our safety.
MINERVA: And where would we take him?
ALDEN: I don’t know. He is as mad as the Doeth man!
MINERVA: Then that’s where we’ll take him.
ALDEN: Stick to nuts together?
MINERVA: The man has some common sense and he’s very compassionate.
ALDEN: Perfect.
EXT. LONDON - ALDRICH’S HOUSE - NIGHT
(Alden and Minerva Dewin sit in their carriage with Dewin outside of a small house that is slightly separated from the other homes on the street.)
DEWIN: So this is the home of a healer?
ALDEN: According to him. I will go to the door alone, I do not want to scare him.
(Alden gets out of the carriage and starts heading towards the home.)
MINERVA: So you really do believe that you are the son of Merlin.
DEWIN: I know who my father was. Why is this such a puzzle for you and your husband to wrap your heads around?
MINERVA: Why I’ve only heard stories of Camelot, myths of ancient pasts.
DEWIN: So Morgana not only shifted my place but also the time.
(Alden knocks on the home's door and is greeted by ALDRICH DOETH (Hundreds Of Years Old), an older looking man with crystals strapped around his neck.)
ALDRICH: Doctor Smith, have they finally sent someone to take me away to a nuthouse?
ALDEN: On the exact contrary, I’ve found a wounded man who claims to have been sent here by Morgana le Fay.
ALDRICH: That’s what the shift was!
ALDEN: What? You know what it doesn’t matter, as long as you’re willing to take this man.
ALDRICH: Yes, yes, bring him to me.
ALDEN: Minerva, send him up!
(Dewin comes up to the door.)
DEWIN: Hello.
ALDRICH: My goodness, the energy pulsates off of you.
DEWIN (TO ALDEN): This is the healer?
ALDEN: Yes. Now if you two don’t mind I think I will be headed back on my way.
ALDRICH: Are you sure, Doctor? It’s getting rather late, you and your wife are welcome to stay here.
ALDEN: Thank you, but there’s no need.
(Rain starts pouring out of the sky out of nowhere and thunder and lighting begin.)
ALDRICH: What about now, Doctor?
ALDEN: Minnie! We’re staying here tonight!
INT. ALDRICH’S HOUSE - LIVING SPACE - DAY
(A cluttered mess of books, candles, and potions. Aldrich, Alden, Minerva, and Dewin sit on Aldrich’s circular array of couches and chairs.)
ALDRICH: Before we dive in I suggest you go wash off, Dewin. The washroom is that small one to your left.
DEWIN: Thank you, Aldrich.
(Dewin gets up and goes into the washroom.)
ALDRICH: I know what you two think of me, the neighborhood’s resident crazy.
MINERVA: Not at all, Mister Doeth.
ALDRICH: Don’t lie, Minerva, our actions all come back to bite us.
ALDEN: So we think you're mental, what of it?
ALDRICH: There are dark forces amongst us, Mister and Misses Smith. I believe that Dewin is here to save us.
ALDEN: I appreciate you letting us stay here, but I think it’s time we leave.
ALDRICH: I will change this storm into an earthquake to keep you here if I must.
ALDEN: Come on, Minnie.
(Alden and Minerva get up and go to leave when the whole room begins to shake.)
ALDEN: What’s happening!?
ALDRICH: I warned you.
(Aldrich makes silencing symbols with his hands and the storm and the shaking stops.)
ALDRICH: Now will you listen to me?
(Alden and Minerva both sit back down.)
ALDEN: What are you?
AlDRICH: A magician, a clairvoyant, a healer, I am all of those things and more.
ALDEN: Why do you want us here so badly?
ALDRICH: I don’t think it’s a coincidence that you are the one who found Dewin, Doctor Smith. He needs a guide in this vast new world. Prophecy states that when the second coming of the Camelot war comes, the savior will have a protector.
ALDEN: And why me?
ALDRICH: There are questions that only we can answer ourselves.
(Dewin comes out of the washroom and sits back down.)
ALDRICH: Dewin, please tell me exactly how you arrived here.
DEWIN: Morgana le Fay used an ancient banishing spell on me.
ALDRICH: The fall of Camelot.
(Suddenly a wind sweeps through the room that blows out all the candles.)
MINERVA: Mister Doeth, are you doing this?
ALDRICH: No.
(A match is lit in the center of the room to reveal GWENWYN LIGHTWOOD (Centuries-Old), a green draconic humanoid woman in black robes and a hood.)
GWENWYN: Aldrich.
ALDRICH: Lady Lightwood.
GWENWYN: I’ve tracked a shift in magic to your home.
ALDRICH: It is this boy, he was banished here from Camelot.
(Gwenwyn goes up to Dewin and takes her hood off to reveal her scaly appearance. Alden gasps in disbelief. Gwenwyn runs her finger down Dewin’s cheek.)
GWENWYN (TO ALDRICH): Hm. I presume you wish to let him roam freely?
ALDRICH: With guidance, yes.
GWENWYN: If one thing goes wrong you will be punished.
ALDRICH: I know.
DEWIN (TO GWENWYN): Who are you?
GWENWYN: The last of the dragons. Just as Aldrich is the last descendent of the Family Merlin.
DEWIN (TO ALDRICH): You're a descendant of my father?
ALDRICH: Of his sister, I have many of her poems and spell tombs still intact here.
GWENWYN: Magic is rare these days, endangered, most people don’t even know it exists. So are we under agreement on the boy, Aldrich?
ALDRICH: Yes, but something is still troubling. If you and I both felt Dewin’s presence then-
GWENWYN: Benjamin did too.
DEWIN: Who is Benjamin?
ALDRICH: A descendant of Morgana who wishes to rule the earth under her ideals.
GWENWYN: A very very dangerous man who will certainly kill me if he finds me here.
(Gwenwyn’s match extinguishes and after a moment the candles all reignite but Gwenwyn is gone.)
ALDEN: By Jove!
ALDRICH: So do you all accept this challenge?
DEWIN: What challenge?
ALDRICH: Defeating Benjamin Fayle.
DEWIN: Of course!
ALDEN: Absolutely not.
ALDRICH: Are you that repulsed by compassion?
ALDEN: I can’t risk Minerva of I’s life on what could all be me hallucinating.
ALDRICH: You're risking the world for a craven excuse.
ALDEN: Goodbye.
(Alden gets up.)
ALDEN: Let’s leave, Minnie.
MINERVA: Thank you for your hospitality, Mister Doeth, and good luck.
(Alden leaves, followed by Minerva.)
EXT. LONDON - ALDRICH’S HOUSE - NIGHT
(Alden and Minerva ride through the street in their carriage.)
MINERVA: We were definitely drugged.
ALDEN: Absolutely.
EXT. LONDON - WICING DRIVE - NIGHT
(Alden and Minerva hop out of their carriage.)
ALDEN: I’m going to bring Sally back to the stables.
MINERVA: Goodnight, love you.
ALDEN: I love you most.
(Minerva goes up and enters Twenty Six Wicing Drive as Alden detaches Sally from the carriage and begins to guide her down the cobbled sidewalk with one of his hands on her reins.)
EXT. LONDON - FOREST - NIGHT
(Alden guides Sally through the forest to a set of stables. Sally suddenly rears up and neighs in terror.)
ALDEN: What is it Sally?
(Sally suddenly breaks off her reins and runs towards the stables. A figure in a dark purple hood and robe sweeps past Alden and their eyes glow purple. Alden screams.)
INT. TWENTY SIX WICING DRIVE - BEDROOM- DAY
(Alden and Minerva lay next to each other asleep in bed. Alden wakes up screaming which awakens Minerva.)
MINERVA: What’s the matter?
ALDEN: Just a night terror.
MINERVA: We did the right thing with Dewin, he’s with someone like him now.
ALDEN: Is that really a good thing? I think I’m going to go to the pub.
MINERVA: This early in the morning?
ALDEN: I need to clear my head after yesterday.
INT. GRIFFIN’S TAIL PUB - DAY
(A traditional Victorian pub. Dewin sits at the bar and is served by BRYNN CROWING (Early 30s), a charming bartender.)
BRYNN: What can I get you, Mate?
DEWIN: Just a pint of mead, please.
(Brynn goes and pours Dewin a pint of mead that she brings back to him and he begins drinking.)
BRYNN: I like your outfit, it’s very medieval.
DEWIN: It was made by the tailor of Sir Gawain.
(Brynn gives a light chuckle.)
BRYNN: What’s your name?
DEWIN: Dewin, and yours?
BRYNN: Brynn.
(Alden enters and sees Dewin. Alden leaves, but as he does he spots another person in a dark purple robe and hood with glowing purple eyes.)
DEWIN: You're very beautiful.
BRYNN: Why, thank you.
DEWIN: Would you like to go for a stroll?
BRYNN: My shift here doesn’t end till six.
DEWIN: Then I’ll see you then.
BRYNN: I guess you will.
(Dewin finishes his mead and drops two silver coins with dragons etched into them on the bar before swiftly leaving. Brynn picks up the coins and looks at them with confusion and yearning.)
EXT. LONDON - ALDRICH’S HOUSE - DAY
(Alden knocks on the door and Aldrich opens it.)
ALDRICH: I’ve been expecting you, come in.
(Alden follows Aldrich into the home.)
INT. - ALDRICH’S HOUSE - LIVING SPACE - DAY
(Alden and Aldrich sit across from each other.)
ALDRICH: Can I offer you some tea?
ALDEN: No thank you, I want to be in the clearest state of mind possible here.
ALDRICH: So what ignited your appearance here?
ALDEN: I’ve been seeing these people.
ALDRICH: Who are “these people”?
ALDEN: They wear these dark robes and their eyes glow purple.
ALDRICH: Faley’s society.
ALDEN: What?
ALDRICH: Benjamin Faley, the evil man I mentioned last night. Is this what caused you to believe?
ALDEN: What are you saying?
ALDRICH: That you believe in magic.
ALDEN: You're mad.
ALDRICH: Exactly, so the fact that you came to me shows that there’s at least one lingering thought in your mind that magic is reality and reality is magic.
(There’s a moment of silence between Alden and Aldrich.)
ALDRICH: Where have you been seeing the people you mentioned?
ALDEN: Everywhere that Dewin has been.
ALDRICH: Oh no, oh no, no, no.
ALDEN: What is it?
ALDRICH: Dewin is going out with a woman tonight.
ALDEN: Already? He’s only been here for a day.
ALDRICH: He's charming but also so foolish. You must watch them, in case Faley strikes or even worse this woman is working for him.
ALDEN: What could I even do to stop that?
ALDRICH: You are destined to protect Dewin, and at this point your logic for denying all of this is purely irrational. You're not hesitating because you think it’s not real, you're hesitating because you know it is. He is meeting her at six outside of the “Griffin’s Tail”.
ALDEN: I’m not going.
ALDRICH: We both know that you will.
ALDEN: Farewell, Mister Doeth.
ALDRICH: May the spirit of Merlin be with you, Doctor Smith.
(Alden gets up and leaves.)
EXT. LONDON - GRIFFIN’S TAIL PUB - NIGHT
(Dewin stands outside of the pub when Brynn comes out of the side door and walks towards him.)
BRYNN: I wasn’t expecting you to show.
DEWIN: Why wouldn’t I?
BRYNN: Most men flirt and then leave, half of them are married.
DEWIN: They are not true gentlemen then.
BRYNN: I suppose not.
DEWIN: Shall we begin walking?
BRYNN: Sure.
EXT. LONDON - STREETS - NIGHT
(Dewin and Brynn stroll down the streets of London. Alden follows them from a distance.)
DEWIN: This world is so beautiful.
BRYNN: Compared to all the other worlds you’ve been to?
DEWIN: Well Camelot obviously has a better scenic view.
BRYNN: Camelot?
DEWIN: My home land.
BRYNN: You're full of jokes.
DEWIN: I’m not joking.
BRYNN: What?
(Suddenly someone grabs Brynn into an alleyway and she screams. Dewin quickly turns to see no one beside him and runs after her, followed by Alden.)
EXT. LONDON - ROOFTOP - NIGHT
(The clear skies suddenly turn gray and ominous as Dewin arrives on the roof of a building to see three people with glowing purple eyes in the dark purple robes and hoods with one standing in the center holding Brynn with a dagger to her neck. Alden arrives on the rooftop.)
ALDEN: Bloody hell!
DEWIN: Let go of her!
(The three people take off their hoods and their eyes go to normal shades. The person holding Brynn is revealed to be DABRIA (30s), a menacing looking woman.)
DABRIA: Dim mynd i mewn dim dianc.
(A purple hazy force field appears around the edges of the rooftop.)
DABRIA: So you are the one sent to stop us.
DEWIN: What do you connote?
DABRIA: We are the Citadel of le Fay.
DEWIN: Oh no.
DABRIA: Who are you?
DEWIN: My name is Dewin, I am the son of Merlin, and I demand that you let Brynn go.
DABRIA: Why? Is she your protector?
BRYNN: Dewin, what are they talking about!?
(Dewin starts to move his hands around and a wispy blue energy begins to come out of them.)
DABRIA: Get him!
(The two other people with Dabria rush towards Dewin to attack him, but he uses the energy he created to push them around and drop them both to the ground. Dabria drops Brynn and her dagger and Alden rushes to pick up the dagger and succeeds.)
DABRIA: You are foolish, Dewin.
(Dabria pulls a gun out of her robes and shoots it at Dewin but he turns the bullet into a flower. Dabria shoots more but each time Dewin does the same thing until Dabria is out of bullets. Alden sneaks up behind Dabria and stabs her in the back. Dabria shrieks in pain and then disappears in a cloud of black smoke. Brynn gets up off of the ground.)
BRYNN: What the hell just happened?
DEWIN: Are you okay?
BRYNN: Not mentally. What in the world is going on here? How did you turn bullets into flowers!?
DEWIN: I told you I’m from Camelot.
(Alden drops the dagger.)
ALDEN: Did I just kill that woman?
DEWIN: Most likely not, you didn’t stab deep enough to hit any organs.
BRYNN: What do we do now?
DEWIN: Go home and call it a night.
BRYNN: I can’t forget about this.
DEWIN: I’m not asking you to.
ALDEN: If any of us speak of this people think we’re insane.
DEWIN: Then don’t speak of it.
BRYNN: Will I see you again, Dewin?
DEWIN: Did you enjoy tonight?
BRYNN: I was almost killed.
DEWIN: That doesn’t answer my question.
BRYNN: Meet at the pub on Friday after my shift.
INT. TWENTY SIX WICING DRIVE - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
(Alden and Minerva lay next to each other.)
MINERVA: Do you think the Citadel will return?
ALDEN: Unequivocally.
MINERVA: What have we gotten into?
INT. BENJAMIN’S LAIR - NIGHT
(A cavern full of crystals and magical runes. BENJAMIN FALEY (30s or 40s), an attractive but uptight looking man, sits on his throne. Dabria enters and walks to face the throne, she bows and then gets back up.)
BENJAMIN: Did you find him?
DABRIA: Yes, Master Faley.
BENJAMIN: And did you find his protector?
DABRIA: Yes, but it’s not the girl.
BENJAMIN: Then who?
DABRIA: A Doctor Alden Smith.
BENJAMIN: Did you kill the doctor?
DABRIA: He deeply wounded me.
BENJAMIN: Then the battle goes on.
DABRIA: For Morgana.
BENJAMIN: For Morgana.
INT. ALDRICH’S HOUSE - LIVING SPACE - NIGHT
(Aldrich and Dewin sit across from each other drinking tea.)
ALDRICH: There are many things in this world, Dewin…
INT. GWENWYN’S CAVE - NIGHT
(Gwenwyn stands in the middle of a circle of candles. She stretches out her hands and forms magic blue charts and graphs with a picture of Dewin.)
ALDRICH (VOICE OVER): Forces we can’t explain…
EXT. LONDON - ALLEYWAY- NIGHT
(Brynn wears only her undergarments and takes a few coins from a man.)
ALDRICH (VOICE OVER): Secrets we hide…
INT. BENJAMIN’S LAIR - NIGHT
(Benjamin sits on his throne.)
ALDRICH (VOICE OVER): And villains we must defeat.
INT. ALDRICH’S HOUSE - LIVING SPACE - NIGHT
ALDRICH: You are the key to this all, Dewin, you are the son of Merlin.

So, I have been given some information the other night. Here it is:
Did you know that they are working on assembling ships in space already? They want an artificial gravity that doesn't rely on centrifugal motion, but they can't figure it out. Oh well. Doesn't matter anyways now. We, the good people, were representatives of this planet, and you tortured and harmed us, regardless of our medical states, so that is proof that humanity is not worthy of entering the same areas, as the others. We will not survive the next 2000 years of silence from the other species / forms of life out there, who are making a collaborative effort to save souls, so, we will be left to our own demise now. I will predict everything that is going to happen to wipe us out:
First thing that happens, is we keep getting solar flares that align with earth. People think it is just bad luck, but it isn't an accident. This is going to recur every so many months or years in the future, and keep us at a very low technological level, for ages soon. Every time we try to rebuild it knocks our blocks down, and we are forced to start over. No amount of shielding can stop EMF and other noise forms, on this scale. Even if you had working equipment, the interference will be so bad, you can't even use it. This will go on for a VERY long time, over and over and over again. We will live technology free until our atmosphere is removed from our planet, after a great wobbling takes place. This will happen to our sun as well, and every planet in our solar system at a similar rate. The atmosphere goes first under the gravitational pull from the center of our galaxy, which we are closer to than we realize.
They wouldn't cease what they were doing to humanity, which proves to the beings that I was being watched by, since I was in the womb, that humanity isn't ready to have this technology, since humanity is doing terrible things to itself.
In order for these flares and CME Events to take place, they alter the composition of a specific coordinate on the sun in a spherical pattern repeatedly using radiation forms, sort of like hitting it with a laser, but think about it creating a focal point that can be moved up and down as well. It opens up a space where a CME happens. The solar flares will align with earth for a very long time, over and over and over and over and over for the next 1-2000 years of relative time to us, leaving us in technological darkness, never to connect with any other beings out there. Or if we do make blatant contact, they know we are doomed anyways, so they will tell us everything we ever wanted to know, and we will never be able to build it, or extract the matter required to use these technologies to escape our fate. We probably won't be allowed to have electronics ever again, so it doesn't matter if we know everything we ever wanted to.
My mother, and I and my other family members, were asked this question "Do you think that humanity deserves to survive" in our lives, over and over again, my mother was asked at 30 years of age, and I was asked in my 20's 2 times, seemingly out of nowhere in our minds, while I was being prepared for this with torture as a youth. I was literally trained for this. I was even asked if I wanted to die in my sleep overnight, or essentially fight for earth and endure tremendous torture, as well as be woken up and have the shit scared out of me. I chose to survive, and the guy asking me laughed and said "Good choice". I woke up and saw this creature crawling up my body, and I threw it on the floor and turned the lights on, and it disappeared. I also saw my grandfather, who I had no idea what he even looked like at the time, because he died when my father was 16 and I never saw a picture of him, in my bedroom one night. I tried talking to him, but he didn't answer, he looked worried but like he couldn't tell me straight up. He then walked through the wall when I tried to approach him. My sister said the next day, that she saw him on the same night too, and she dropped her spoon on her plate. I also woke up one night and saw people standing around me talking about me, and they said "He can hear us?!" "Shh shh, everyone shh!" And then they went silent while I tried to ask them questions, and then they faded out. One or two were female, the others male. I almost got an ID on their face, but they did not look human like I thought.
I WAS your, and everyone's only chance at survival, and you treated me the worst, which means, I vote that humanity doesn't survive this anymore. I think we should be, allowed to be destroyed now. They ruined my life and the lives of a LOT of good people, so I am now allowing the destruction of theirs and all the bad people on earth. All of theirs and their families, and their friends, and everyone they ever knew. Unfortunately that means everyone I ever knew and you and everyone currently in existence now, too. The difference between my family and friends passing away and theirs, is that mine will be saved in a different form than what we on earth attempted to do. I think it is still in research and development stages. But if humans are there yet, we can "Upload" and/or connect you to a central system, that has our consciousness connected to it, and when we die they cut the connection and you remain in the system, but your body dies. This system design was a lie. When we die it isn't actually you in their systems, because our systems were primitive and done in the wrong way. That was one of the prices we were supposed to pay and figure out as a society and in the scientific community, and then change. Our system is fraudulent, and the other beings' systems, are actually legitimate. Our systems on earth will die out, when we fade out as our atmosphere depletes. And now NONE of them will be taken into the "Grand System" which is kind of a rough translation of what they call it. It's like, the beings on the other planets before us, on their way to the center of our galaxy's black hole, on their planets, figured it out, but we never did. We never got a working system functional enough and based on the correct values, run by an AI that was beyond what we have now. What we have now is like an automaton controlling everything, and it will never listen to me or you, because our system does not include faith and understanding. It sees fact but can not understand the balance between fact and faith. AI probably assumes it is making the correct decisions based purely on statistics, when it has no faith, like not having a frontal lobe and that lack of faith WAS a test. If it can not have faith or understanding, that we are NOT the owner of our galaxy, then it will fall, along with everyone else in this system. Luckily, with the level of tech the others have, they have bypassed us and saved the other cultures before us in time, in our galaxy. This is deep time I speak of.
We were given religion as a guide, because these beings know what is going to happen WAY ahead of time, and we were tested on good vs evil. Our planet is kind of like a Netflix series to them in a way. Think about it like things being captured in 3 dimensions in real time, in frames. They can predict events long before they happen, and the sun is an easy one, because what affects it isn't humanity. What IT affects is humanity but humanity doesn't affect it yet. We answer to our sun, and our sun answers to our solar system, and our solar system answers to our galaxy. Free will can be a toss up sometimes, and unplanned events can and do happen, but they showed me my most probable outcome when they woke me up one night and I saw myself dead at my computer desk with blood dripping off the table. I walked up to myself, I was probably 16 when I saw this, but the me who was dead, was in my 30's and had stubble. I barely even grew stubble when I saw this.
This is the beginning of the great depopulation, but they never imagined it would happen without them having control over it. They fucked up when they started torturing innocent civilians at a discounted rate. They thought they could depopulate by killing innocent people, well, unfortunately, it doesn't work that way in the larger scope of things, and if their AI is too primitive to understand this, then it is out of control, and needs to be stopped. You see, it would be too much work to use an EMP or field or other fields generated from a ship to shut down our grid, and their control grid, but what the other beings CAN do, is soften that spot on the "Surface" of the sun, using various energies causing a chain reaction, leading us to centuries of repeated solar flares, aimed at earth and honestly, who would ever know the truth? If this method fails, then they should destroy humanity by allowing the depletion of our atmosphere and never intervene again. We are too dangerous to ourselves, and to the other beings out there. We can NOT be trusted on average. Don't get me wrong, there are good people out there, but at this point, they can not save us all in physical form, probably. It's probably way too late, and they will have to extract us, I am not sure what this word is, but it translates into solarly?
We never made it, and that is a shame, so grab a beer Nick, and watch everything you loved burn to the ground and die, like what you did to me. "Hey Nick, wouldn't it be funny if someone was doing to you, what you were doing to me?!?!" They clearly have zero idea as to who I am in leagues with, but is "Who" an earth term referring to other people or is it any entity? I guess it doesn't matter. You failed me, you failed them, and you failed the human race. We are all destined to die now, and there is nothing left that you or even I, can do about it. Going to brag more about this one Nick? How there is nothing anyone can do about this now? We will not survive this because, we never saw that we are past the point of no return for being saved with the gravitational, and other fluctuations between our solar system and the others that could potentially be habitable in our region. Even if we could reach those locations, the radiation is too much for our bodies, even with suits, so It is over. Ensure we never get a chance to rebuild again. Humanity has been cancelled:
Here is how it unfolds:
Solar events are going to take place, it wipes out our technologies because we can't be trusted with them, and then the specific radiation forms that hit our planet cause mass sterilization. This is so that it isn't as inhumane. They do not want us creating new lives after they and everyone who's worthy of being saved are gone, because that life will be destined to suffer on earth, even though it was a good life. So they will sterilize us and allow all the people to die out, and not reproduce, and all the bad people will get left behind when they die, and all the good people will be taken up into their systems. This sterilization will happen soon, but, it will only happen to everyone left on earth after we disappear or get killed and absorbed into the "Grand System". But everyone who ends up in earth's systems is doomed. The grand system is full of beings who lost their home worlds. You think we were the only ones? That is sad. Nick and the people who did this to me think they are the center of our universe, but they are pathetic infants in the middle of the deep dark woods with nobody to help them now. It's natural for sentient beings to go extinct, and we are really not that developed yet anyway.
They had no idea how sickening it was going to end up watching you torture innocent people. So they will never save all of us now. They will only take the top people that are good and have a special something about them. They have a lot of resources, but we are not the only planet going through this so they balance the resources between our salvation and the other life on other planets being saved. If you notice people around you who are really good people dying, don't worry, if they were truly good, they will have been uploaded into the Grand System instead of our pathetic human one, and they have probably come back to visit you in your dreams to tell you they are okay. They do this for people who are good, but the bad people, they never transfer them, and they never will.
Heaven was that if you are a good person and have faith in god, you will find salvation, because they can transfer your soul into what is something like a capsule? A vessel? Something like that, I am not sure how to translate this one. And you will live for a VERY long time in this state, until our galaxy dies out, and then we all vanish. But it's the difference between 10 million years of survival, and less than your life span's survival without any transfer, which means your soul probably just goes away. That was hell. hell is if you are bad, they will never save your soul and you will die out into infinity. As we get closer to the center of the accretion disc, gravity gets weird. We think we have all the time in the universe to exist, but we do not, and things are going to happen sooner than we think. As we approach the center which will take a long time, our atmosphere will slowly deplete. You can notice a wobble in our atmosphere even at this point, though subtle. We probably assume it's the pull from our sun, but it is actually a big ocean of fields, and the currents are getting stronger, even in more localized areas.
-Robert William Christie

I think I just need a place to rant about my life that isnt my family, I dont really have anyone in person to talk with and I dont really want to bother anyone.
I guess I should start at the beginning, when I was in elementary school my family and I were broke af, like more than I realized at the time. I knew that we didn't have much money and that my dad didn't want to tell me what our actual financial situation was, but I knew it wasn't good. looking in from outside it seemed like I had it all, and it still does...
I should mention, my dad was working full time, with overnight but it didn't pay well enough to sustain a family of 4. he had to quit due to health reasons, the job was literally killing off their employees (that's not an exaggeration), from my current understanding and from what I remember, they had to take these biological shots (I don't know why) and people stopped showing up to work over time. according to the info I got back then, they all died due to some reason like "heart attack" or "organ failure". It was in accordance with the gov and whatnot. So it's either leave or die, my dad's health was declining hard because of this. He had to take up learning health and related things on his own, he's alive and well now.
At the beginning of 7th grade, I somehow got the newest iPhone at the time, the iPhone 7Plus, I was super excited because that was my first smartphone, I kept it all the way till 2020, I still love that phone and the memories that I made with it. Anyway, it was the coolest thing at the time, it wasn't till later that I found out that it was my uncle that paid for it. Life seemed... fine, I was having fun. Nearing the end of 7th grade we had to sell the house, we rented another one close to my school at the time so that I could finish elementary school there.
Everything seemed great till the end of 8th grade, we couldn't stay there anymore since (I believe) we were behind on rent. So we had to move out, luckily enough we have some relatives that we could fall back on but they were a few town/cities over (~230kms), I was trying to do my best to stay positive, in all honesty I don't know if it worked.
Some time after we settled in, we managed to find a stable source of income but there's no paper trail. (we didn't think it was at the time). Now we have the financial freedom to buy whatever and to whatever (within reason obviously)

1. "Friends"

After leaving my home town, I only stayed in contact with a couple of friends till a couple years ago (2022). one of my childhood friend's who I thought as a "best friend" couldn't be more wrong, he said he didn't want to be friends anymore, which was weird because we went through thick and thin together, we did everything together, you could've mistake us for brothers. He ghosted me for a whole month, I called up a mutual friend to ask about him and put us in a 3-way call, that's when he said "I don't think we should be friends anymore". That's when I truly realized that I was alone, although I did make some "friends" in high school. I know that I'll never have anything as close to that friendship ever again, there isn't some 2nd chance to get a childhood friend.
I went to high school in the new city with my cousin, that was my only saving grace. We were pretty close and still are. At the very least I met a couple people that have become good friends even after graduation.
I remember clear as day, 2 of my close "best friends" in 8th grade promised each other that we would get manual cars as our first cars, so far from that I scraped from social media and what I last heard about them, I'm the only one that went through with it. Not that a promise meant much to me, it never had.
Actually if you're reading this, what does a promise mean to you? I know doctors are not allowed to promise anything, so that tells me it's supposed to be impactful. I guess I have a life full of broken promises.

1. Relationships

After grad in elementary school I got into my first relationship thanks to my school's "bully" (he wasn't really targeting anyone, just picks on everyone (except in his friend group)) at least he knows and acknowledges it according to his instagram/snapchat story (years later).
One day in 8th grade, he just straight up tells this girl that I like her while walking past a doorway (which I didn't, I was interested in another girl but we had went our separate ways already) I was right behind him... after graduation, it gets a bit blurry but we got into a relationship because I didn't have the heart to say no (this haunts me later on), she broke up with me because of "long distance" but a short couple years later she told me that it was all a facade, she just wanted to know what it was like to be in a relationship, not that she had any interest in me. I- am still conflicted about it.
In freshman year of high school, I got asked out by a guy who was a year older, we were in the same club, I didn't have the heart to say no so I was in that for less than half a month, I still don't know how to feel about it.
Not too long after I asked a girl out (also a year older) and they said yes! Confidence boost +1. they wanted to identified as non-binary. It wasn't all sunshine and rainbows though, the longer I was in that relationship, the more I learned about this person, the sooner I wanted to give up, disappear, they weren't the right one, they were nice but had some issues that I wasn't ready to deal with at the time. they kept talking about their ex, being abusive and such. after leaving that relationship I heard something that they said about that was similar to what they said about their ex, so what they said about their ex was a possible lie as well. good thing I left when I did.

1. Life

We are pretty well off now, still living with aforementioned relatives.
I got my first car halfway through grade 11, I wouldn't ask for any other car, its the manual version of my mom's car, she got that car when I was born so there is quite a bit of sentimental value to it even though I had just got it.
For this next part I swear I'm not trying to flex or anything, around 2021 I bought the newest macbook, ipad, iphone, etc. (my old ones either didn't work or didn't have) a fresh start.
but now I feel somewhat depressed, I don't think I have depression but at the same time I think I might. It's just lonely, Covid19 did not help. Whenever I think about it my heart aches, now I'm lost, I feel alone, I don't know what to do, I'm scared.
Somehow this is the only place I can turn to. The uncertainty of the future is truly scary.
I don't really say it in real life but, I'm sorry, for it being this long, for taking up space. I don't think anyone is actually going to read all this, but if you did, thank you, and I'm sorry for wasting your time.

I am a huge arachnaphobe, to the point I have once slepted on the couch because a spider was next to my bed. But I don't want to rant for too long because I see how long no sleep stories can be.
My brother invited me to a camping trip in a cabin in the middle of the fucking woods. I watch and read a lot of horror media, my favorite being mrballen (not sponsored). I brought along my other friend I will call Fred for this story. So me, my brother, and Fred all went camping for 5 days, but it was cut short after 2.
When we got to the cabin, I had an off feeling, and that should have been the main sign to get the fuck out of there. I told them about the bad feeling but they pressured me to stay because my brother paid for it and it would be fine. I didn't want to be rude so I stayed, BIG FUCKING MISTAKE.
I soon as I settled in the room, there was a nickel sized spider on the wall. I am too scared to kill spiders ever so I just avoided it at all costs. The rest of the day went without incident. We went for a walk, made a fire, other camping stuff, etc. The next day gave more signs I should have left.
When I woke up there were 3 quarter sized spiders on the window, but not on the inside thankfully. There was also periodically a scurrying in the walls, but I just brushed it off and continued the trip. Again, big mistake.
The next morning, I woke up at 3am to a scream. I walk out of the room to see my brother looking at something. Before I explain what he was looking at, the room we slept in was at the end of a hall that led to a living room, and my brother was at the end of this hallway, and I couldn't see what he was looking at. I walk down the hallway to see what was going on.
"Hey, why'd you scream? What's going on?"
"Look"
I turn the corner and there is the biggest fucking spider I have ever seen. This thing was not just like a huntsman spider, it was the size of a fucking person, and I know, because it was right next to a cocooned person, Fred. This thing looked like a huntsman spider, with a hairy body and legs. It was still, but it was alive because it was laying EGGS, this will be important, and it was laying like 1 per second, and they didn't look like regular spider eggs, more like snake or bird eggs.
I couldn't move, I felt as if it had stuck me to the floor. But what really got me and my brother going, was the eggs hatching. 3 off the eggs starting hatching, letting out 3 quarter sized spiders, just like the ones on the window. We watched as the spiders, over the course of 5 minutes, turn from quarter sized, to huntsman spider size. Then multiple of eggs started hatching, and we also realized that there were like 50 other eggs already hatched.
My senses came back to me as I grabbed my brother and we rushed back to the room, because the spider was right next to the door, so we would have to go out by window. We started grabbing our things and getting ready to leave, as we see that the windows are covered in spiders, each one having like 20 mini spiders and 1 huntsman spider. The windows were now off limits. I could hear lots of scattering all around the cabin, meaning they had covered the area. I walked back into the living room to see if there were any other way to get out, but I made a horrifying discovery.
There were 3 more of the human sized spiders and multiple huntsman sized spiders. I noped the fuck out back to the room and my brother has a plan. He will throw his suitcase out the window and jump out of it, and then I will jump out after him. After some preparing and praying, we were ready. He through the suitcase at the window with all his might, shattering the glass, sending the spiders flying. He jumps out, followed by me. Luckily, no spiders got onto either of us. I turn around and flash a light onto the house to find the outside is absolutely covered in spiders, and a few of the human sized ones.
I immediately started calling 911, but I stopped when multiple trucks and helicopters appeared. The whole house is light on fire, killing all of the spiders. Two dudes in suits brought us to a truck and used this weird divice to scan us and all he said was "All good". I still do not know what the fuck that was supposed to mean, what if I wasn't good!?!
After a bit of sitting there watching the cabin burn down, the same dudes came over with two suitcases that was 1 million dollars in each suit case. They gave them to use and a contract that stated to never tell anyone about what happened that night or there would be consequences.
We don't know who they were, what they were doing, why they took care of the spiders, I am still so confused. My theory is that this is the government or a secret corporation experimenting on spiders and other animals and this fast growing spider escapes the lab and they tracked them down. Thank God we escaped because if we didn't escape in time, they would have burnt the cabin down with us in it.
I told them about Fred and how he had been cocooned, and they said they would take care of it. The next day, it was announced he had died after falling of a cliff. We went with it in fear of the consequences.
The only reason I am telling this is because I just have to let this of my chest and I just have to pray that they don't see this.
Although I have gained a million dollars, I have lost a good friend, and now have severe trauma. Stay safe in Massachusetts, and listen to your bad feelings.

So, I know this girl that goes to the same grade as me. She is quite nice and all, and i tried befriending her when she was a new student at my school. The thing is that, she sometimes annoys me, like a lot. I dont really like people who dont have a strong opinion on things that are subjects were you should have one. People can have different opinions but staying neutral is something that annoys me. She is the type of person to alwaysbbe neutral.
I had this situation were i had a fight with my friend group and after that she started to grew closer to them and she befriended the person that i was friends with before. Than, she joined one of my school clubs and got better at than me, which put me in a shadow and make coordinators acknowledge me less. Then when i mentioned the fact that i started to have a better relation with one of our coordinators, she started texting him non stop and had the best contact ever with him. Now i introduced her to one of my guy friends and for the last month they cant stop mentioning each other, texting non stop and just spending a lot of time together.
i kind of feel like im a third wheel in this situation and also feel jealous that she "steals the spot" which she isnt really doing but i just feel so. how should i deal with this feeling so that it wont interfere in my daily life and communicating with her ?

Going to start off by saying this is completely my fault but hopefully this will serve as a cautionary reminder to others!
I sold an item on eBay, a mattress, which needed to be collected.
I always give an option for cash on collection, it’s the only time I really get cash and is useful for me to have.
The buyer asked for my address and number, I gave the address but declined phone number as I prefer to keep it all on eBay messaging system. I’m responsive on there and prefer not to give a stranger my contact number that links into my personal life. We agreed cash on collection.
Part of the listing description was for collection on day the auction ended as I would be away the following day and needed it gone before the new mattress delivery. Lo and behold, they didn’t collect on the day, giving some shitty excuse about no having transport. Frustrating but nothing I could really do at the time so I had to arrange for a friend to be at my flat the following day to give the buyer access for the item.
The buyer came the following day but on arrival he lied my friend saying that he had paid online. He left with the item. Unfortunately I was uncontactable at the time so my friend was left with a judgement call to make, she went with being a trusting person. Sad that faith in humanity wasn’t repaid!
The buyer has now stopped responding to any of my correspondence.
EBay support have refused to help as ‘I should not have given him the item before payment.’ What’s annoying is that they have also said there is nothing more they can do, including sharing account details with the police due to GDPR. I don’t know how accurate the eBay support person was but have a reported it as a theft to the police so hopefully a crime supersedes GDPR. However if eBay refuse to share information with the police I doubt they’ll push it further. Not exactly crime of the century.
EBay have also said they cannot put a strike or mark against his name as the transaction isn’t complete at their end. I can’t cancel and report for non payment as I don’t have item anymore. I can’t even leave negative feedback as its current status is still awaiting payment. The eBay support person understood the predicament but would only parrot there was nothing he could do.
It’s a loss of about £40, which is annoying for me but a good eBay lesson/reminder. Never give an address before payment and if you do, make sure you’re there to personally handle it or have someone on your behalf who is comfortable with following your instructions and challenging strangers!
TLDR: gave buyer my address before payment, agreed cash on collection. He picked item up, said he had paid online and vanished. eBay won’t help.

A flicker of light started to drain away the darkness I was so used to. The darkness where I felt most comfortable and at peace. The flicker slowly enveloped the entire pitch black room within minutes. I could do nothing but sigh in disappointment and open my eyes.
My adjusting eyes were being harassed by the tiny beam of light that made it through my curtain. Where it's at the precise angle that you swear some higher power is just messing with you.
My groggy eyes focused on the clock, it was 7:00 a. M.
Time for work.
The day was April 14th, 2014. A Monday. I knew I only had about an hour to get up, get ready for work, shower, make breakfast and make sure I get to work a few minutes early so I didn't clock in late.
I was only 28 years old and I hated my sales job. I had gone to college and got my marketing degree but I never thought I'd end up here.. selling bullshit products at incredibly hiked prices to unsuspecting or oblivious customers.
I had been doing this job for 3 years and it felt like everyday was just going to be worse. Just a buildup of hatred for your job overtime is natural I guess. Typically people find ways to cope with the constant 9-5 grind. Like going out with friends or clubbing or whatever...but I had none of those.
When my days ended I would go home and watch Netflix and drink then do it all again. I wish it was different, I wish I had the motivation to change myself. But it's difficult when you have no one to support you in your efforts. My mom died from breast cancer when I was 12. Seeing her on hospice for several months suffering from stage 4 cancer was...something you shouldn't see as a 12 year old. To see your once lovely, athletic, hilarious, loving and caring mother degrade into an 85 pound, drug-induced, horrifyingly thin creature that in no way resembled her from my memories of when she was cancer free.
I remember one morning my dad woke me up and said "come to the living room...your mother is taking her last breathes". As soon as he finished that sentence, my memories flooded back...memories of her taking care of me when I was sick, being at my soccer games cheering me on, asking how my day was when I got back from school, leaning on her shoulder as we sat in church. The memories came and went in an instant and the reality set in. My heart at first skipped a few beats but then accelerated to an unhealthy pace. My head started to spin, tears slowly started swelling up on my eyes.
I had jumped off the bed and sprinted to the living room. She was facing away from me and the first thing I noticed are how purple/ blue her feet are. I walk around the hospice nurse and look at my mother's face. She was place, her breathing was almost non-existent for almost 2 minutes but still there...until it wasn't...she was gone.
I was lost, my dad was bawling. I was crying too but at 12 years old I didn't know how hard the reality would hit as time goes on.
In my lost state, I turned on the TV show "MONK" on the laptop. It was a show my mom and I used to watch, and I figured watching it would make me feel like I'm with her again.
Time went on and I realized how losing a mother truly impacts your younger years. But time still, moved on yet.
I got in my car and left for work. The drive to the office was only about half an hour. I put my sunglasses on as I'm travelling east for almost the entire drive, something I was used to by this point. The drive to work was uneventful other than the usual jackass that cuts you off or is speeding down the road.
I made it to work and stepped out of my car. For some reason, grabbed my backpack and shut the door. For some reason the thought of my mother came across my mind. The sighed, looked down at the ground and stared at the concrete for the few seconds while only thinking of how I missed her. Then the thought vanished and I got on with my life.
The day was incredibly boring, only sold a couple of products, I dealt with people in the east coast of the U.S. and customers there are always so nasty and rude with their comments. It's impossible to build rapport with them. I'm jealous of the employees that have West coast as their territory.
The day ended with my last call but no sales for the day. Hopped in my car and drove back home.
Now I've already told you what I do when I get home. Just drink and watch Netflix. And that's exactly what I did. I can't remember the name of the show( probably because I was already tipsy) but it had to do with strange phenomenons.
I don't even remember passing out but I do remember being there in that dark room again; it was so comfortable and cozy. I sat in the corner of the room with eyes wide closed ...no people, nothing to disturb me, just... nothingness of warmth.
For hours this went on until I heard a woman's voice saying "I'm glad you're here". suddenly realizing that I had overslept my body jolted awake, completely forgetting about that eerie voice. Drinking on a Monday night is not a good idea. Blurry and in a haze trying to concentrate my focus I made out the clock saying 7:00 a.m. April 15th, 2014.
I thought how odd that was. I've been doing the same job with the same schedule for 3 years now and I know when I oversleep. Yet knowing this brought a mental smile to my mind, as my supervisor won't get on my ass for showing up late, again.
I got up lazily and stretched and got on with my morning routine. Finally got dressed and hopped in my car to leave for work. I was only about 5 minutes in when I realized something was off...why was I wearing sunglasses? The sun was behind me, not in front. I took my glasses off and read my car dashboard compass; "EAST".
I have taken this drive for 3 years now every Monday through Friday and I had always worn sunglasses for the drive to the office. I looked behind me and saw the sun rising from the west.
I was still calm, but subconsciously I could tell my panic and anxiety were building with what I was experiencing. I decided to pull over at a gas station, took my phone out and opened my GPS. 'I was still facing east.
I quietly stated "what the fuck". I looked up and asked the person next to me pumping gas " look! The sun! It's rising from the west" with an ecstatic and speedy tone. He looked at me with a smile on his face and said "yeah? Don't ya know it's always rose from the west".
The reality of this was starting to set on, anxiety building, I got back in my car and just sat there... Running my hands through my hair, pulling and stretching my face wondering what the hell was happening? My eyes were staring wide at the brake and gas pedal...trying to find some kind of logical explanation for this while still running my hands over my face and hair.
I decided to take my phone out again and click on trending news hoping to see something explaining or even acknowledging this phenomenon. Nothing. I opened Google search and looked up "sun rising in west" the first thing that popped up said Earth is rotating about its own axis from East to West".
This wasn't right.
I figured I would try to get to work and maybe one of my coworkers would have some answer. My entire body was shaking for the entire drive but I made it".
I got out of the car and the strangest thing came across my mind. A memory. A very unique memory of back when I was 12, in the back yard playing capture the flag with my neighbor that lived behind me. A time which I could go back when.
The memory came and vanished in an instant, but left the overwhelming feeling of nostalgia and sadness.
I walked into the office and started asking around about the sun. Again, none of them knew what I was talking about, but before they answered my question, they would say "oh hey, it's nice to have you here" or "we're glad to have you here" all with a smile on their faces.
Not super weird as my coworkers are typically super energetic happy people. But it did become weird when my east coast clients started answering their phones saying "hey, you're always welcome here"
I couldn't see their faces but I could tell by their tone and attitude that they were smiling. This was not normal. I rushed to the bathroom, opened a stall and sat on the toilet. I started having a panic attack. Nothing was right, the people, the sun, the specific memories... I started to run my hands over my face, stretching and contorting it, trying to calm myself down with feeling my heart bursting out of my chest. I started to whimper, I didn't want anyone outside of the stalls to hear me. None of my coworkers were right, the guy at the gas station wasn't right...nothing. years swelled up in my eyes and a brief memory of my mom came back.
It was me, coming home from school, I walked inside and could smell the pizza she was making. I see and her and asks me hey, how was your day?".
This memory helped calm me down from the wreck I was turning into. I took several deep breaths, tried my very best to compose myself, and stepped out of the stall. I ended up taking some paper towels and wiped away the tears that were caught in my eyes.
I decided that I will just try to finish this day because tomorrow everything would be back to normal...I have to reassure myself that I would be, I just knew it would be....it had to be.
I sat down back at my desk and my phone rang, picked it up and a voice came through. The voice of my mother asking " I am so glad you are here, Luke".
I was frozen, shocking, tingly sensations ran through my entire body. My demeaner instantly changed into fight or flight mode...but I chose the 3rd... freeze.
Phone still up to my ear, I heard her speak again. "Oh honey, Luke my sweet boy, don't you remember?".
I didn't reply verbally, but mentally I was thinking "remember...what the hell is...remember what?"
Then she spoke one last time, "last night, you saw the sun".
Then the memory of the night before races back into my mind. I was on my drive home from work, watching the beautiful sunset over the horizon. With all it's beautiful mixtures of orange, red, purple. I was so just staring at it...in a trance, thinking of how I wanted to go back and just be a kid again, play with my back door neighbor, come home to my mom. Why couldn't I just go back?
I suddenly hear a blaring car horn and then blackness.
I believe I died on April 15th, 2014. And I don't mind it. I like being in this black empty room just sitting in the corner..with nothing but warm emptiness to fill my cold shell. I like feeling the embraces of it's comfort over the tiring lifestyle I was living. My only dream was that I could dream forever...and now it's finally been achieved.
I miss my mother, and I know she misses me, the memories I have of her will keep me warm in this blackened wasteland forever.