Can you crush up adderall and put it in a drink
advice on breakups with your fp :( keeping in minimal contact but blocked on our main accounts
2024.05.20 08:49 justalittleguy00 advice on breakups with your fp :( keeping in minimal contact but blocked on our main accounts
on mobile, so i apologize for punctuation and grammar :( i just got out of a year long, live in relationship with my exgf and fp. unfortunately i am not and was not in therapy at the time. i wasn’t taking care of myself mentally and i had forgotten how to just Manage. there were a lot of things that led up to it, but the main reason was due to my meltdowns and that they “couldn’t live like that anymore.” :( now i have moved, and it feels like it was entirely my fault. i also can’t help but split and be angry and defensive about it as well.. so i feel kinda stuck in it and its making me feel like i hate them. i don’t WANT to hate them. i want to love them and they said they’re gonna be there for me, we’re best friends, they love me, they want us to grow into better people and decide after that if a relationship is what we want, etc. but it’s so hard to see past that right now.
without divulging into everything, which kinda sucks because i’m asking for advice lol, yes this relationship is very very important to me, they are my soulmate, and i would like to be good to this person and make amends in time and keep in contact when we can but it just hurts. they want to talk to other people in the meantime and they’re mailing me all my things back and it feels like its over. like they’re getting me out of their life… i have so many thoughts and i don’t know which ones are real.
anyways, i guess the advice i’m asking for is, is it worth putting myself through this pain and this spiral and it making me “hate” the person i love? i don’t want to ghost, i want to express my feelings.. but maybe these feelings aren’t rooted in reality.. i just feel lost.
if anyone read this, thank you :(
submitted by justalittleguy00 to BPD [link] [comments]
without divulging into everything, which kinda sucks because i’m asking for advice lol, yes this relationship is very very important to me, they are my soulmate, and i would like to be good to this person and make amends in time and keep in contact when we can but it just hurts. they want to talk to other people in the meantime and they’re mailing me all my things back and it feels like its over. like they’re getting me out of their life… i have so many thoughts and i don’t know which ones are real.
anyways, i guess the advice i’m asking for is, is it worth putting myself through this pain and this spiral and it making me “hate” the person i love? i don’t want to ghost, i want to express my feelings.. but maybe these feelings aren’t rooted in reality.. i just feel lost.
if anyone read this, thank you :(
2024.05.20 08:48 Fanciful1986 Is it legal for a DCYF worker to lie about a drug test!
Ok, this happened to me in 2015 and I’ve always wondered if I had a case…
In 2015 I was a recovering heroin addict on suboxone. I got pregnant and let my doctor know what was going on so I could be put on a very low dose. The pregnancy was tough, with a lot of Braxton-Hicks contractions. I often would have to lay upside down on my couch (to take the pressure off my cervix) listening to soothing music and drinking tea.
Despite that, My son was born at around 32 weeks and he was 4lbs even. Very small and born breach, and when he came out he was not breathing. They had to suction his airways and someone had to give him his first breath with a ventilator. He was immediately sent to the NICU to be put inside one of those horrible incubator boxes, where you can only touch them through a rubber arm and glove.
Needless to say we were distraught. But after he was sent to the NICU I was visited by a woman from the DCYF (they investigate every child born on suboxone as a rule). I’ll call her Kim. When I met with this woman I got the worst feeling whenever I’d answer her questions or say something. Her overall disdain for me was palpable. In my mind I’m thinking to myself “this woman hates me!”. But I still tried to be cordial and cooperative.
Anyway, the day after she met with me, she met with my son’s father and his mother, and she told them that our son was withdrawing from drugs! My son’s father and his mother were horrified to say the least. Kim then asked his mother and he if they would be able to care for my baby because she did not anticipate that I’d be allowed to have my child. Of course they said yes. When the distressing meeting was over my boyfriend first called the hospital to check on his son, and he was then going to call me.
When he called the hospital he asked what was going on with his son. The nurse on the phone actually laughed! She said “we only give him caffeine in the mornings, he’s not withdrawing from anything as far as we know… I’ll check his chart but I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
My son’s father then called me and told me what had happened. I knew they would be drug testing me, the baby and my placenta, but I had only taken my prescription medications and a very low dose at that.
That’s when I realized she was so sure that I was going to fail for drugs that she was just telling everyone the results were back! I knew it couldn’t be possible, but as an ex-drug addict I was also doubting myself. Could I be wrong? Was I crazy? Could this really be happening?
After this I got a call from my ex, the father of my oldest son. He told me Kim had told him the same thing as she wanted to take my oldest son (who had never lived with anyone else) and move him in with his father. I knew that had to be a violation of my rights, because my ex had no right to know anything about the condition of my child who was not related to him, but again, I was unsure. And I was scared of this woman. Did she really have this kind of power? Had my drug test come back positive?
This was all happening on a Friday. I spent the weekend waiting anxiously to call the DCYF office and speak to Kim and hopefully someone in charge of her. Monday finally came and I got my mail early in the morning. Inside was a copy of my drug test. My CLEAN drug test…
I was elated! I immediately called Kim’s line, and suddenly it led me to another woman’s desk. A supervisor who greeted me kindly and asked me to identify myself. I was all too happy to tell her who I was and ask her how to speak to my case worker, Kim, whose card I was holding in my hand.
She replied that she was now handling my case. I hesitated and asked why? She said again that she would be the one handling my case from now on. I then asked her why Kim had told my bf and his mother that my son had been in withdrawal from drugs. Again, she avoided my question and told me they’d be closing my case. I just needed to sign some papers.
I was confused. But I could tell this woman was not going to discuss Kim, for whatever reason. I was happy to hear the case would be closed so I agreed to come in with my bf and his mother that day.
When we came in they had only a few papers. But the last one I started to read and it said something along the lines of “I (my name) agreed with Kim that I may have had drugs in my system resulting in my son experiencing opioid withdrawal” and so on…
I also noted how it was backdated to Friday. It was Monday. I refused to sign, as did my bf and his mom. When we refused I was told I needed to sign or they would “consider permanent placement” of my newborn. In a panic, we signed…
I later found out Kim was fired Monday morning. Because of my case? I don’t know.
The case was closed, I have my children, but was this legal? What happened? Does anyone have any idea as to why the DCYF worker was able to do this or if it happens often? I’m hoping to hear from people who have worked in the DCYF or family court. Thank you!!
submitted by Fanciful1986 to legaladvice [link] [comments]
In 2015 I was a recovering heroin addict on suboxone. I got pregnant and let my doctor know what was going on so I could be put on a very low dose. The pregnancy was tough, with a lot of Braxton-Hicks contractions. I often would have to lay upside down on my couch (to take the pressure off my cervix) listening to soothing music and drinking tea.
Despite that, My son was born at around 32 weeks and he was 4lbs even. Very small and born breach, and when he came out he was not breathing. They had to suction his airways and someone had to give him his first breath with a ventilator. He was immediately sent to the NICU to be put inside one of those horrible incubator boxes, where you can only touch them through a rubber arm and glove.
Needless to say we were distraught. But after he was sent to the NICU I was visited by a woman from the DCYF (they investigate every child born on suboxone as a rule). I’ll call her Kim. When I met with this woman I got the worst feeling whenever I’d answer her questions or say something. Her overall disdain for me was palpable. In my mind I’m thinking to myself “this woman hates me!”. But I still tried to be cordial and cooperative.
Anyway, the day after she met with me, she met with my son’s father and his mother, and she told them that our son was withdrawing from drugs! My son’s father and his mother were horrified to say the least. Kim then asked his mother and he if they would be able to care for my baby because she did not anticipate that I’d be allowed to have my child. Of course they said yes. When the distressing meeting was over my boyfriend first called the hospital to check on his son, and he was then going to call me.
When he called the hospital he asked what was going on with his son. The nurse on the phone actually laughed! She said “we only give him caffeine in the mornings, he’s not withdrawing from anything as far as we know… I’ll check his chart but I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
My son’s father then called me and told me what had happened. I knew they would be drug testing me, the baby and my placenta, but I had only taken my prescription medications and a very low dose at that.
That’s when I realized she was so sure that I was going to fail for drugs that she was just telling everyone the results were back! I knew it couldn’t be possible, but as an ex-drug addict I was also doubting myself. Could I be wrong? Was I crazy? Could this really be happening?
After this I got a call from my ex, the father of my oldest son. He told me Kim had told him the same thing as she wanted to take my oldest son (who had never lived with anyone else) and move him in with his father. I knew that had to be a violation of my rights, because my ex had no right to know anything about the condition of my child who was not related to him, but again, I was unsure. And I was scared of this woman. Did she really have this kind of power? Had my drug test come back positive?
This was all happening on a Friday. I spent the weekend waiting anxiously to call the DCYF office and speak to Kim and hopefully someone in charge of her. Monday finally came and I got my mail early in the morning. Inside was a copy of my drug test. My CLEAN drug test…
I was elated! I immediately called Kim’s line, and suddenly it led me to another woman’s desk. A supervisor who greeted me kindly and asked me to identify myself. I was all too happy to tell her who I was and ask her how to speak to my case worker, Kim, whose card I was holding in my hand.
She replied that she was now handling my case. I hesitated and asked why? She said again that she would be the one handling my case from now on. I then asked her why Kim had told my bf and his mother that my son had been in withdrawal from drugs. Again, she avoided my question and told me they’d be closing my case. I just needed to sign some papers.
I was confused. But I could tell this woman was not going to discuss Kim, for whatever reason. I was happy to hear the case would be closed so I agreed to come in with my bf and his mother that day.
When we came in they had only a few papers. But the last one I started to read and it said something along the lines of “I (my name) agreed with Kim that I may have had drugs in my system resulting in my son experiencing opioid withdrawal” and so on…
I also noted how it was backdated to Friday. It was Monday. I refused to sign, as did my bf and his mom. When we refused I was told I needed to sign or they would “consider permanent placement” of my newborn. In a panic, we signed…
I later found out Kim was fired Monday morning. Because of my case? I don’t know.
The case was closed, I have my children, but was this legal? What happened? Does anyone have any idea as to why the DCYF worker was able to do this or if it happens often? I’m hoping to hear from people who have worked in the DCYF or family court. Thank you!!
2024.05.20 08:47 tabascojizz AITAH (28F) for being mad at my boyfriend (30M) for getting so drunk we had to go home?
Context is that we were supposed to go to day 3 of a music festival and he pregamed so hard that while we were in line for transport to the festival grounds, he basically couldn’t stand up straight and insisted on going home. Immediately after we got out of the line he proceeded to puke everywhere in front of other bystanders and basically getting it all over himself…then we sat down for a bit before making the trek back to the hotel and he puked on the ground some more (throwing up his entire food intake for the day essentially and again, getting some on himself). We traveled a long way for this and I was already sad about having to end the weekend, and now feel robbed of my last day experience sitting at the hotel with him while he puked some more - in the shower instead of the toilet, so we could be facing a cleaning charge - and then passed our while I just laid in bed feeling upset that at that moment I could have been having the time of my life.
I don’t want to sound cold but he is a grown ass man at 30 and I think it’s reasonable to expect someone of that age / with plenty of experience with alcohol to understand your own limits and pace yourself, especially knowing today was the last day and we don’t get a redo. I was livid when we came back to the hotel only to find a handle of tequila basically finished by himself single-handedly, and cups of what smelled like straight tequila. I’m also annoyed that as he gets kind of immature when drinking, he wasn’t necessarily apologetic to the situation and basically tried to trick me into thinking he showered the puke off before climbing into bed (when really he had already clogged the shower with the remainder of his puke food mixture). I wouldn’t say he binge drinks like this often, but he definitely can get pretty incoherent while others in his groups seem to be functioning pretty well on night outs. I will also come home to find him a little tipsy on a casual Sunday night while he’s having beers with football, but maybe I just don’t understand as I’m not a big drinker myself. Just feel like if you’re to the point of making yourself so sick like this after consuming an amount you know is way too much, a little concerning….
Alcohol issues aside; am I being way too petty about this? Should I be trying to put away my anger and just be happy he’s safe? Not sure if I or he is the one being selfish.
TL;DR: BF got himself so drunk he caused us to both miss out on the last day of a music festival we’ve been excited about for ages. AITA for being pissed at him??
submitted by tabascojizz to AITAH [link] [comments]
I don’t want to sound cold but he is a grown ass man at 30 and I think it’s reasonable to expect someone of that age / with plenty of experience with alcohol to understand your own limits and pace yourself, especially knowing today was the last day and we don’t get a redo. I was livid when we came back to the hotel only to find a handle of tequila basically finished by himself single-handedly, and cups of what smelled like straight tequila. I’m also annoyed that as he gets kind of immature when drinking, he wasn’t necessarily apologetic to the situation and basically tried to trick me into thinking he showered the puke off before climbing into bed (when really he had already clogged the shower with the remainder of his puke food mixture). I wouldn’t say he binge drinks like this often, but he definitely can get pretty incoherent while others in his groups seem to be functioning pretty well on night outs. I will also come home to find him a little tipsy on a casual Sunday night while he’s having beers with football, but maybe I just don’t understand as I’m not a big drinker myself. Just feel like if you’re to the point of making yourself so sick like this after consuming an amount you know is way too much, a little concerning….
Alcohol issues aside; am I being way too petty about this? Should I be trying to put away my anger and just be happy he’s safe? Not sure if I or he is the one being selfish.
TL;DR: BF got himself so drunk he caused us to both miss out on the last day of a music festival we’ve been excited about for ages. AITA for being pissed at him??
2024.05.20 08:45 mrsvanjie Pramipexole making me depressed? Augmentation severe and doctors won’t take me seriously
I have had RLS (since I can remember) at 16, although I remember having sleep problems as a child so it’s quite possible it started much younger.
I’ve managed the condition using marijuana but tried ropinerole about 7 years ago. I came off of that after a few weeks due to the nausea and constant hot flushes.
During a pregnancy almost two years ago the symptoms became severe. I was of course not using marijuana during pregnancy and therefore was sleeping 2-3 hours per night, spending the night crying… then going insane as this progressed for around 8-10 weeks of sleep deprivation. Doctors wouldn’t take me seriously because they didn’t want to medicate me. Finally a sleep doctor prescribed codeine but the dose I required to get rid of my symptoms was too high for him to be comfortable. Then I was put on pramipexole (sifrol), this helped at 0.125 for a while and then needed to be increased to 0.250. My symptoms started occurring earlier in the night, slowly moving from 8:30 to 7:30 and then earlier. And now my symptoms start from about 3am and continue well into the morning, even happening while I am exercising at the gym.
Sadly the pregnancy ended in a loss, not related to the medication or sleep issues, but I continued to take the medication and using medical marijuana and Valium for nights the symptoms are unbearable.
I have now been on pramiexole for about 1.5 years and it is clearly not working. I refuse to increase my dose because of augmentation and we are currently trying to conceive. I also notice a lack of impulse control at higher doses.
My sleep doctor prescribed me Targin to come off of pramipexole for 10 days (cold turkey I might add) and then go back on it to see if it ‘reset’ the medication, but this didn’t work.
But! When I was taking 5mg targin in the morning and 10mg targin at night, I no longer had RLS. It was amazing!
I went back to the doctor and told him that pramipexole isn’t working, I don’t want to increase, my symptoms have augmented severely to the point I have RLS 24/7 and I asked to be put on Targin. (Opiates are safer in pregnancy than dopamine agonists so this was part of my thought process - why keep taking something that doesn’t work that well and isn’t pregnancy safe). He refused as he is worried about dependence and then told me to increase my pramipexole dose instead… he gave me targin for breakthrough symptoms however targin is not effective for this because it takes 2 hours to kick in, and when I have breakthrough symptoms, I need something to work quickly. I tried to increase my pramipexole dose and stopped after two days because my impulse control was horrendous.
Between the last visit and next visit (next week) it has been almost two months. In the meantime, my husband and I are suspecting that pramipexole may be responsible for other psychological symptoms that I am experiencing. I experience an inability to deal with stress and end up with leaden paralysis quite often. I experience many of the symptoms of dopamine agonist withdrawal, no motivation, no interest in activities or hobbies. So my husband suggested I try to halve my dose back to 0.125 to see how I was, and my ability to deal with stress improved but my RLS is so severe that I am struggling to function. I went back to 0.250 and the same depressive symptoms occurred.
Anyway… sorry for the long post but I will be seeing my sleep doctor next week, I’ll be bringing my husband along to advocate for me because it seems my doctor doesn’t take me seriously. We want me to be off of pramipexole. I can’t take gabapentin due to its unsafe nature in pregnancy (but I also don’t even want to take this medication in the first place). For me, the only logical solution is daily opiate therapy. I would rather be dependent on opiates than to suffer the agony that I am in now. But my doctor won’t support this.
Any advice for my appointment or situation? (Absolutely no alternative medicine suggestions please and thank you)
Anyone else feel that dopamine agonists changed their personalities and caused them to be depressed?
submitted by mrsvanjie to RestlessLegs [link] [comments]
I’ve managed the condition using marijuana but tried ropinerole about 7 years ago. I came off of that after a few weeks due to the nausea and constant hot flushes.
During a pregnancy almost two years ago the symptoms became severe. I was of course not using marijuana during pregnancy and therefore was sleeping 2-3 hours per night, spending the night crying… then going insane as this progressed for around 8-10 weeks of sleep deprivation. Doctors wouldn’t take me seriously because they didn’t want to medicate me. Finally a sleep doctor prescribed codeine but the dose I required to get rid of my symptoms was too high for him to be comfortable. Then I was put on pramipexole (sifrol), this helped at 0.125 for a while and then needed to be increased to 0.250. My symptoms started occurring earlier in the night, slowly moving from 8:30 to 7:30 and then earlier. And now my symptoms start from about 3am and continue well into the morning, even happening while I am exercising at the gym.
Sadly the pregnancy ended in a loss, not related to the medication or sleep issues, but I continued to take the medication and using medical marijuana and Valium for nights the symptoms are unbearable.
I have now been on pramiexole for about 1.5 years and it is clearly not working. I refuse to increase my dose because of augmentation and we are currently trying to conceive. I also notice a lack of impulse control at higher doses.
My sleep doctor prescribed me Targin to come off of pramipexole for 10 days (cold turkey I might add) and then go back on it to see if it ‘reset’ the medication, but this didn’t work.
But! When I was taking 5mg targin in the morning and 10mg targin at night, I no longer had RLS. It was amazing!
I went back to the doctor and told him that pramipexole isn’t working, I don’t want to increase, my symptoms have augmented severely to the point I have RLS 24/7 and I asked to be put on Targin. (Opiates are safer in pregnancy than dopamine agonists so this was part of my thought process - why keep taking something that doesn’t work that well and isn’t pregnancy safe). He refused as he is worried about dependence and then told me to increase my pramipexole dose instead… he gave me targin for breakthrough symptoms however targin is not effective for this because it takes 2 hours to kick in, and when I have breakthrough symptoms, I need something to work quickly. I tried to increase my pramipexole dose and stopped after two days because my impulse control was horrendous.
Between the last visit and next visit (next week) it has been almost two months. In the meantime, my husband and I are suspecting that pramipexole may be responsible for other psychological symptoms that I am experiencing. I experience an inability to deal with stress and end up with leaden paralysis quite often. I experience many of the symptoms of dopamine agonist withdrawal, no motivation, no interest in activities or hobbies. So my husband suggested I try to halve my dose back to 0.125 to see how I was, and my ability to deal with stress improved but my RLS is so severe that I am struggling to function. I went back to 0.250 and the same depressive symptoms occurred.
Anyway… sorry for the long post but I will be seeing my sleep doctor next week, I’ll be bringing my husband along to advocate for me because it seems my doctor doesn’t take me seriously. We want me to be off of pramipexole. I can’t take gabapentin due to its unsafe nature in pregnancy (but I also don’t even want to take this medication in the first place). For me, the only logical solution is daily opiate therapy. I would rather be dependent on opiates than to suffer the agony that I am in now. But my doctor won’t support this.
Any advice for my appointment or situation? (Absolutely no alternative medicine suggestions please and thank you)
Anyone else feel that dopamine agonists changed their personalities and caused them to be depressed?
2024.05.20 08:45 Ecstatic_Treacle1397 I’m (23F) at my wits end w/ my partner (23M). Is it time to just call it quits?
It’s a little long but I desperately need advice, it gets a little weird
Background: We’ve known each other since we were 16, had a little entanglement while he was in a relationship (last from the time we were 16 to 21), it was nothing physical, just a mutual crush (yes, this happened while he was in a relationship. We fell out of touch after high school.
We were both post breakup (I was single for a month or two after dating someone for 3 years; he was single for two months after dating someone for 5 years), we reconnected when he DMed me, went on a date, and it was history. We’re so compatible and we literally finish each other sentences. We’ve spent almost every day together since. We got symbolically married 9 months after our first date (not legally, but we considered each other husband and wife). It seemed meant to be. I’ve had my happiest moments of my life with him in such a short time, we’ve built a whole life, traveled the world.
But he’s always had a little mean streak (but so does everyone, I’m a grumpy person so I understand some level of it) but it gets a lot worse when he’s drunk, it came out after being together for about a year. This latest time has just been the straw on a camels back. We had a date in the city (about an hour away) and we drank, it was a long night. He ended up DMing a girl that I used to be friends with (he’s aware this friendship ended badly, we both know her from HS, he’s known her longer). This isn’t the first time, it happened probably about a year or close to ago, I checked his phone after he was drinking with a friend and he DMed 3 different girls at 4am. This recent night, He was belligerent, there’s 3 holes in our walls currently. He’s pushed me before and it didn’t happened again, but he screamed and yelled in my face while I sat crying on the floor, called me the worst names which is also not the first time. He knows I have a history of childhood abuse and I don’t take well to environments like this. Not to mention a month before this occurred, he totaled my car because he didn’t listen to me or the law and totaled my car. We ended up fixing it and getting a pay out.
He promised to get therapy, he promised to not drink as much but he just hasn’t followed through. Today is a little less than a month after the first incident and we were drinking to celebrate the end of my finals, I did great, I was so happy and proud of myself. On our way home from picking up our last round of drink from around the corner, he “love tapped” the car in front of us in the driveway because he was looking at his phone which was the reason for his first accident last month. (We live in a very small apartment complex). I lost it, I admit I yelled and got frustrated, I’m just so tired of him promising me things and not following through. I decided to let it go and not let it ruin my celebratory night. We moved away from our apartment complex for obvious reasons but there was no damage. A little later, we were in the car and nowhere near a bathroom and I had been drinking and I had to pee. I peed in a plastic cup and was going to dump it but jokingly pretended throw it on him, but obviously nothing got on him, it’s a joke. I asked him to dump it and give it back so I could put the cup in the garbage, he dumps most of it and “jokingly” actually splashes the rest on me, it got on my face and shirt, very gross. I threw water back at him. He argued how I’m so much worse for throwing water in him because it was more. It’s summer, we’re outside, water dries, throwing pee on someone is gross.
I’m tired of dealing with all of this. Is he ever going to change? Am I just unreasonable? I just love him so much and the good can sometimes make the bad unnoticeable. But I don’t want to keep comprising my boundaries for someone who doesn’t respect me as a partner. What do I do?
submitted by Ecstatic_Treacle1397 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
Background: We’ve known each other since we were 16, had a little entanglement while he was in a relationship (last from the time we were 16 to 21), it was nothing physical, just a mutual crush (yes, this happened while he was in a relationship. We fell out of touch after high school.
We were both post breakup (I was single for a month or two after dating someone for 3 years; he was single for two months after dating someone for 5 years), we reconnected when he DMed me, went on a date, and it was history. We’re so compatible and we literally finish each other sentences. We’ve spent almost every day together since. We got symbolically married 9 months after our first date (not legally, but we considered each other husband and wife). It seemed meant to be. I’ve had my happiest moments of my life with him in such a short time, we’ve built a whole life, traveled the world.
But he’s always had a little mean streak (but so does everyone, I’m a grumpy person so I understand some level of it) but it gets a lot worse when he’s drunk, it came out after being together for about a year. This latest time has just been the straw on a camels back. We had a date in the city (about an hour away) and we drank, it was a long night. He ended up DMing a girl that I used to be friends with (he’s aware this friendship ended badly, we both know her from HS, he’s known her longer). This isn’t the first time, it happened probably about a year or close to ago, I checked his phone after he was drinking with a friend and he DMed 3 different girls at 4am. This recent night, He was belligerent, there’s 3 holes in our walls currently. He’s pushed me before and it didn’t happened again, but he screamed and yelled in my face while I sat crying on the floor, called me the worst names which is also not the first time. He knows I have a history of childhood abuse and I don’t take well to environments like this. Not to mention a month before this occurred, he totaled my car because he didn’t listen to me or the law and totaled my car. We ended up fixing it and getting a pay out.
He promised to get therapy, he promised to not drink as much but he just hasn’t followed through. Today is a little less than a month after the first incident and we were drinking to celebrate the end of my finals, I did great, I was so happy and proud of myself. On our way home from picking up our last round of drink from around the corner, he “love tapped” the car in front of us in the driveway because he was looking at his phone which was the reason for his first accident last month. (We live in a very small apartment complex). I lost it, I admit I yelled and got frustrated, I’m just so tired of him promising me things and not following through. I decided to let it go and not let it ruin my celebratory night. We moved away from our apartment complex for obvious reasons but there was no damage. A little later, we were in the car and nowhere near a bathroom and I had been drinking and I had to pee. I peed in a plastic cup and was going to dump it but jokingly pretended throw it on him, but obviously nothing got on him, it’s a joke. I asked him to dump it and give it back so I could put the cup in the garbage, he dumps most of it and “jokingly” actually splashes the rest on me, it got on my face and shirt, very gross. I threw water back at him. He argued how I’m so much worse for throwing water in him because it was more. It’s summer, we’re outside, water dries, throwing pee on someone is gross.
I’m tired of dealing with all of this. Is he ever going to change? Am I just unreasonable? I just love him so much and the good can sometimes make the bad unnoticeable. But I don’t want to keep comprising my boundaries for someone who doesn’t respect me as a partner. What do I do?
2024.05.20 08:43 ADreamLight Logistic Mechanic Observations
Been playing PS (Squad44) since 2018 but recently have been playing primarily logistics. Started before the recent logistics overhaul and been playing after. These are some observations I have noticed and some things I would like to see changed. A lot of these are a source of frustration which makes it harder and more confusing to do my job. Looking for feedback and suggestions as I want to see this game grow and most of my fondest memories are when logi is allowed to do its job. I have read they are going to be changing logi a bit but am not sure of the exact changes and if any of these are included then disregard.
Annoying things I have noticed in game:
Minor tweaks:
The new updates have made the game look prettier and I appreciate all of the work the devs have done. I like the new emplacement icons too. Keep up the good work lads and I look forward to seeing what you come up with in the next update.
As I said before. Open to suggestions as I do not know all the mechanics. Just a casual player who enjoys building forts.
submitted by ADreamLight to postscriptum [link] [comments]
Annoying things I have noticed in game:
- Back-capping
- Remove FOB radio
- Allow building everywhere
- Allow respawning of trucks
- All squad members mark
- Bring back free supplies
- Rebalance logi/inf fob placements
Minor tweaks:
- Allow showing of supplies radius for placed drops.
- Show how many emplacements you can place still. I hate it when I don’t know how many barbed wire I have left or guns.
- Increase the allowed machine gun placements a bit. I feel I have been too limited in some games.
- People have also mentioned potential redzone adjustments and I will echo that here
- Bring back towing 😫
- I would like to always have the vehicles spawned in at base. I just hate searching for signs. Understand if this would lag the crap out of the game. If so, disregard. Perhaps put a map marker on where they could be spawned.
- Update maps. Some are inaccurate given the new changes. This doesn’t really matter as much but I felt it is worth mentioning.
- Give all logi binoculars. I can’t remember if they all have it but I’m pretty sure they don’t.
The new updates have made the game look prettier and I appreciate all of the work the devs have done. I like the new emplacement icons too. Keep up the good work lads and I look forward to seeing what you come up with in the next update.
As I said before. Open to suggestions as I do not know all the mechanics. Just a casual player who enjoys building forts.
2024.05.20 08:42 lollidee Unsafe!
You’re making me feel unsafe. Why do I, as a woman, have to feel unsafe in spaces meant for women, to make YOU (a man) feel safe? You’ve been a “woman” for only a few years. You are attracted to women. I don’t feel safe with YOU in MY spaces. If I was in a dorm situation and had to share sleeping arrangements with you, I would be uncomfortable. Scared, actually (especially since you are attracted to women). Why do real biological women always get the raw end of everything. We always have to make sacrifices for men (you who is a white man born from privilege and wealth) who decided you were a woman one day? How come you can’t make your own trans space and not involve women in it? You say there is more than 2 genders. Why can’t you be your own “trans” gender? You show a great sense of entitlement to compare yourself to the brutality that real marginalized people have faced over the centuries. You’ve been marginalized for 5 minutes! YOUR CHOICE. YOU made the decision to put yourself there. Your choice. Don’t EVER compare yourself to a real woman. You have no idea what they feel or think or the sense of unfairness we have felt our entire lives at the hands of men. How dare you claim to be the victim when you are usurping our spaces! And how dare you call people who don’t like YOU the K K K? You don’t know my background or anyone’s on here and what they have suffered as real hate so stop being a whiny crybaby all the time. Grow up!
submitted by lollidee to TayHoTrishUsa [link] [comments]
2024.05.20 08:42 Kooky_Gain2070 BF’s Friend Excluded Us and I’m Pissed!
(For context: everyone in this story is 25-35. Names are changed, details are simplified, etc.)
Two weeks ago, my boyfriend Bob asked me to be his plus one to his friend Freda’s birthday trip an escape room (hereinafter “e-room” for brevity). Bob doesn’t care about e-rooms, but he knows I love them and rarely get to do them. I immediately RSVPed for the both of us because the e-rooms have to be booked in advance and have strict occupancy limits once booked.
I read on the e-room’s website that it had some physical components including “dodging lasers.” My boyfriend is recovering from a broke leg; he can walk but doesn’t have full mobility back, so I wondered if he would be able to participate. But Freda invited him knowing his current condition, so I assumed the physical component must be pretty nominal. 🚩
FFW to last night: the e-room was booked for 10 people, and exactly 10 people RSVPed. About 20 people (including Bob and me) were at Freda’s house before the e-room for pizza and drinks. Freda comes up to me and says that she heard that I love e-rooms and that she’s excited to solve one together.
As a group of us exited her apartment to Uber to the e-room, I counted 12 people in the group and mentioned this to Freda, who didn’t seem worried about it. 🚩🚩🚩
Once we get there, Bob and I were among the first ones to sign in, complete the waiver, and sit in the lobby. After a few minutes, Freda started pacing between the lobby and the sign-in area. She stopped in the lobby and said to me, Bob, and a few others, “I don’t know what to do. There’s two extra people here who aren’t going to be able to play, and I don’t know who it’ll be…” She paused and lingered, implicitly asking one of us to volunteer, but no one did. Eventually Freda said, “Okay, executive decision: Bob since you still have a broken leg, Bob and OP won’t play. Is that OK with you two?”
Obviously, I wanted to say, “It’s abso-fucking-lutely not OK with us. If his leg precludes him from playing, why did you invite him in the first place? And if it doesn’t preclude him, why are we being excluded and not the two people who didn’t RSVP? And if even it does preclude him, why does that necessarily preclude me too? Why are you telling us this here and now in front of everyone!?”
But I bit my tongue in front of his friend and let him talk for the both of us: “Sure, no problem.”
Freda apologized and said, “Well, at least you can sit in the lobby and watch us play through the live video feed!” She said this with complete sincerity, as if it was any less imprudent as saying, “I’m sorry that I’m fucking your wife, but you can always listen through the bedroom door if you want!”
Bob asked me if I wanted to just leave, but in a fit of raging pettiness, I said we should stay. We hung out and just talked in the lobby. I was still really pissed, but Bob was simply resigned: “I’m not surprised. I’m always excluded from things.”
After about 90 minutes, the group of 10 came out of the e-room cheering, having solved it just it time. Freda, with complete earnestness, came up to me and said, “That was so fun! OP, you would’ve really loved it!” She started explaining how the puzzles worked, but I just cut her off and said we’d seen it all on the video feed.
— — — —
I’m still fuming a day later, but I don’t know if I should be. In hindsight, we really should’ve left as soon as we were excluded. I guess I didn’t want to “run away” from the problem, but staying just exacerbated it.
On the one hand, I feel bad for being the sour grapes at this woman’s birthday party that I was gracious invited to. I also genuinely don’t think there was any malice or forethought to her actions.
But on the other hand, it really felt like a slap in the face to be excluded in-person of everyone after we had all physically traveled to the venue. If we had been uninvited a day or even hour before, I still would’ve been very disappointed, but I wouldn’t have felt so disrespected and angry.
submitted by Kooky_Gain2070 to Rants [link] [comments]
Two weeks ago, my boyfriend Bob asked me to be his plus one to his friend Freda’s birthday trip an escape room (hereinafter “e-room” for brevity). Bob doesn’t care about e-rooms, but he knows I love them and rarely get to do them. I immediately RSVPed for the both of us because the e-rooms have to be booked in advance and have strict occupancy limits once booked.
I read on the e-room’s website that it had some physical components including “dodging lasers.” My boyfriend is recovering from a broke leg; he can walk but doesn’t have full mobility back, so I wondered if he would be able to participate. But Freda invited him knowing his current condition, so I assumed the physical component must be pretty nominal. 🚩
FFW to last night: the e-room was booked for 10 people, and exactly 10 people RSVPed. About 20 people (including Bob and me) were at Freda’s house before the e-room for pizza and drinks. Freda comes up to me and says that she heard that I love e-rooms and that she’s excited to solve one together.
As a group of us exited her apartment to Uber to the e-room, I counted 12 people in the group and mentioned this to Freda, who didn’t seem worried about it. 🚩🚩🚩
Once we get there, Bob and I were among the first ones to sign in, complete the waiver, and sit in the lobby. After a few minutes, Freda started pacing between the lobby and the sign-in area. She stopped in the lobby and said to me, Bob, and a few others, “I don’t know what to do. There’s two extra people here who aren’t going to be able to play, and I don’t know who it’ll be…” She paused and lingered, implicitly asking one of us to volunteer, but no one did. Eventually Freda said, “Okay, executive decision: Bob since you still have a broken leg, Bob and OP won’t play. Is that OK with you two?”
Obviously, I wanted to say, “It’s abso-fucking-lutely not OK with us. If his leg precludes him from playing, why did you invite him in the first place? And if it doesn’t preclude him, why are we being excluded and not the two people who didn’t RSVP? And if even it does preclude him, why does that necessarily preclude me too? Why are you telling us this here and now in front of everyone!?”
But I bit my tongue in front of his friend and let him talk for the both of us: “Sure, no problem.”
Freda apologized and said, “Well, at least you can sit in the lobby and watch us play through the live video feed!” She said this with complete sincerity, as if it was any less imprudent as saying, “I’m sorry that I’m fucking your wife, but you can always listen through the bedroom door if you want!”
Bob asked me if I wanted to just leave, but in a fit of raging pettiness, I said we should stay. We hung out and just talked in the lobby. I was still really pissed, but Bob was simply resigned: “I’m not surprised. I’m always excluded from things.”
After about 90 minutes, the group of 10 came out of the e-room cheering, having solved it just it time. Freda, with complete earnestness, came up to me and said, “That was so fun! OP, you would’ve really loved it!” She started explaining how the puzzles worked, but I just cut her off and said we’d seen it all on the video feed.
— — — —
I’m still fuming a day later, but I don’t know if I should be. In hindsight, we really should’ve left as soon as we were excluded. I guess I didn’t want to “run away” from the problem, but staying just exacerbated it.
On the one hand, I feel bad for being the sour grapes at this woman’s birthday party that I was gracious invited to. I also genuinely don’t think there was any malice or forethought to her actions.
But on the other hand, it really felt like a slap in the face to be excluded in-person of everyone after we had all physically traveled to the venue. If we had been uninvited a day or even hour before, I still would’ve been very disappointed, but I wouldn’t have felt so disrespected and angry.
2024.05.20 08:42 Magistyna No matter how much your heart aches and how bad you hurt, I promise you will heal and get over it: Here's how I got over a 1+ year relationship with who I thought was the love of my life and my future. Please read this if your heart hurts and you feel it'll never get better.
It was me 4 years ago searching on Reddit and every corner of the internet how to stop the heartache, how to stop my heart feeling like it was bleeding in my chest through tears in my eyes. I did everything I could. I pretended like I was very happy, I lived a lie when others asked how I was doing, I tried to gaslight myself into thinking it was for the best and nothing worked. I was in agonizing pain. Does this sound like you? Are you trying to cope through the excruciating pain and emotional turmoil you're going through right now like I did?
My breakup happened just a week before the COVID lockdowns. I couldn't access therapy when I needed it most no matter how hard I tried. This was also a point in my life where I didn't have many close connections or friends; I had nobody to vent to or talk to, and when I tried with one friend, they ghosted me because of it.
I had also just moved in with my partner and we were engaged. I thought the world of him and I believed he was my future and who I would have children with. I centered so much of my love, time and attention our relationship no matter what. We were together for just over a year when it all came crashing down.
It doesn't really matter how the breakup happened in any case with anyone; it happened and it hurt, period. That's where I feel your pain. I've been through what you're going through and it lasted me 1 year and 3 months. Every. Single. Day. Yes, there was better days but they were never enough and never consistent. It was a constant battle to distract and cope, and it rarely worked.
With this newfound freedom from my thoughts, I began to fall in love with the little things. I went on more walks, I hung out with the ducks and geese around me. I loved the way the sun felt on my skin. I began experimenting with my fashion choices. I was able to pick up a new hobby and get deep into it. I went on a vacation, I reconnected with my old friends. Life had meaning again and I could breathe.
As a result however, I fell in love with my own solitude. I made myself happy and I was picking up the pieces and improving my life for myself. My future included me, myself, and I, and I was not interested in dating. Seeing couples and weddings didn't phase me. I was happy for others, but I wasn't thinking the same thing for myself. I was focused on being happy, enjoying life and improving myself as a person. I didn't want to date anymore or put myself out there. I didn't wanna think about men at all, it left a bad taste in my mouth. Obviously I knew I wouldn't feel this negatively about dating forever, but I let myself feel it for as long as my heart did. I was done lying to myself.
Four years have passed now since the breakup. I'm in a committed, long term relationship with another, brilliant, funny and romantic man. I've never felt so loved before. I put myself out there again and succeeded. Life is so different. It's beautiful, it's unique, it's fun and it comes with a lot of lessons. I never think about my ex unless something extremely specific to him or my relationship is brought up or asked about. I feel so detached from it that it's like I'm talking about someone else's relationship. I feel nothing, absolutely nothing. It's liberating. I cried, begged and prayed for days like this and I'm living them now.
I promise you that there is light at the end of the tunnel no matter how bad it hurts. I've been there, believe me. I thought the world was coming to an end. I made little to no progress until 1 year and 3 months later. It's not a race. Give yourself and your heart time. Grieve, cry, heal, feel hurt. Don't pretend. It will get better, I promise. 💖
submitted by Magistyna to BreakUps [link] [comments]
My breakup happened just a week before the COVID lockdowns. I couldn't access therapy when I needed it most no matter how hard I tried. This was also a point in my life where I didn't have many close connections or friends; I had nobody to vent to or talk to, and when I tried with one friend, they ghosted me because of it.
I had also just moved in with my partner and we were engaged. I thought the world of him and I believed he was my future and who I would have children with. I centered so much of my love, time and attention our relationship no matter what. We were together for just over a year when it all came crashing down.
It doesn't really matter how the breakup happened in any case with anyone; it happened and it hurt, period. That's where I feel your pain. I've been through what you're going through and it lasted me 1 year and 3 months. Every. Single. Day. Yes, there was better days but they were never enough and never consistent. It was a constant battle to distract and cope, and it rarely worked.
- The constant overthinking.
- Dreaming of them.
- Desperately trying to cope and distract myself.
- Couldn't stop talking about him or our relationship.
- Crying uncontrollably.
- Pretending like I was happy/someone else.
- How I got over it at last.
With this newfound freedom from my thoughts, I began to fall in love with the little things. I went on more walks, I hung out with the ducks and geese around me. I loved the way the sun felt on my skin. I began experimenting with my fashion choices. I was able to pick up a new hobby and get deep into it. I went on a vacation, I reconnected with my old friends. Life had meaning again and I could breathe.
As a result however, I fell in love with my own solitude. I made myself happy and I was picking up the pieces and improving my life for myself. My future included me, myself, and I, and I was not interested in dating. Seeing couples and weddings didn't phase me. I was happy for others, but I wasn't thinking the same thing for myself. I was focused on being happy, enjoying life and improving myself as a person. I didn't want to date anymore or put myself out there. I didn't wanna think about men at all, it left a bad taste in my mouth. Obviously I knew I wouldn't feel this negatively about dating forever, but I let myself feel it for as long as my heart did. I was done lying to myself.
Four years have passed now since the breakup. I'm in a committed, long term relationship with another, brilliant, funny and romantic man. I've never felt so loved before. I put myself out there again and succeeded. Life is so different. It's beautiful, it's unique, it's fun and it comes with a lot of lessons. I never think about my ex unless something extremely specific to him or my relationship is brought up or asked about. I feel so detached from it that it's like I'm talking about someone else's relationship. I feel nothing, absolutely nothing. It's liberating. I cried, begged and prayed for days like this and I'm living them now.
I promise you that there is light at the end of the tunnel no matter how bad it hurts. I've been there, believe me. I thought the world was coming to an end. I made little to no progress until 1 year and 3 months later. It's not a race. Give yourself and your heart time. Grieve, cry, heal, feel hurt. Don't pretend. It will get better, I promise. 💖
2024.05.20 08:40 GypsyInAHotMessDress When was the first memory of you being scammed?
I was in grade one in 1966. I was 5. It was a really hot day and we used to be able to get a frozen orange juice that took all lunchtime to eat. I was allowed to buy one a week in Summer, and had just opened my delicious ice block when a girl in my class asked me for my ice block. I said no. About 5 minutes later she came up to me and said my teacher wanted to see me and I had to go to the teachers lunchroom. She said you can’t take your ice block, so I put it in my school bag and when to the teachers room. I knocked on the teachers lunchroom door and my teacher told me she didn’t need to see me about anything. I went back to my school bag to get my ice block. It wasn’t there. I saw the girl in the school yard with my ice block and asked her to give it back. She said it was hers. I couldn’t do anything about it. 5 year old me was very dumb, but a lesson learnt. I have trust issues to this day..ha ha..
submitted by GypsyInAHotMessDress to AskAnAustralian [link] [comments]
2024.05.20 08:39 External_Meaning_616 Things absolutely get better
I use to use this page ALL THE TIME a couple years ago with my ex, constantly asking for advice on how to keep my relationship going (spoiler alert: it didn’t) and all I can do is laugh at my past self about all the bullshit I put up with her. Nowadays I have this beautiful blonde by my side and we take care of EACH OTHER meaning on MY bad days she takes care of ME!!! Nothing is one sided anymore, I never thought that would be possible but it so is. I do not have this constant weight on my shoulders and I never have to walk on eggshells. I feel healthier, I’m really fucking happy which I never felt was possible with my exwbpd. I’m so glad I stopped feeding into her manipulation and I could not care less where she is now. Though, sometimes it is hard for me to remind myself that I am not in the relationship I once was in and I am able to trust my current gf and talk about what I’m feeling, but I do!!! I talk about my feelings and I never get blocked, or yelled at or told that they don’t matter anymore. Instead I get a beautiful blonde girl that rubs my back and tells me everything will be okay and I am able to believe her! I really hope the people on this page that were struggling like I once was are able to find the peace I was able to obtain. My advice is to just let go when things get rough, no person is worth that much pain and there is a beautiful life waiting for you on the other end. It’s so hard to understand in the moment but it’s so so possible. I wish I could tell my younger self that.
submitted by External_Meaning_616 to BPDlovedones [link] [comments]
2024.05.20 08:38 zomrise First two tries failed. Nothing happened. BioGaia tablets dead on arrival?
My first time making yogurt and it failed.
What I did:
Result:
Questions to you:
submitted by zomrise to ReuteriYogurt [link] [comments]
What I did:
- took 1/2 liter (=1/8 quart) of 3.5% fat UHT milk (German UHT milk if that makes a difference)
- put 1 tea spoon of inulin in the milk
- in one experiment used it directly, in one heated it up to 80-90C /176-194F and held it for 25 mins (measured with thermometer)
- disinfected all glasses and tools with boiling water
- took 3 BioGaia Gastrus tablets (I use half the milk, so thought this was enough), crushed them to fine powder. Tablets can't be bought in pharmacy directly from BioGaia in Germany, so I ordered the Polish version of it on eBay. Best before date: 09/2025. Looking at the ingredients, it seems exactly the same as the US version.
- milk was measured at 38.5C/101F when I put the crushed BioGaia Gastrus in and mixed it. There was a slight "fizzling" and the milk foam disappeared ()
- put the mix into jars in a yogurt maker and let it sit for 24h at 38C/100F.
- Had measured the temperature stability of yogurt maker before in a glass of water, seems to vary between 37-40C / 98.5-104F
Result:
- smelled exactly like milk with inulin, tasted a tiny bit to confirm. Not souacidic whatsoever.
- as liquid as when I poured the mix into the jar before fermentation
- pH at around 6.5, measured with cheapo pH measuring sticks.
- pH due to ascorbic acid, but not due to reuteri
- most likely interpretation to me: no fermentation happened at all
- most likely reason to me: BioGaia tablets dead.
Questions to you:
- Did you spot any mistake?
- Any alternative interpretation to tablets dead on arrival?
- Any other test I can make to confirm that the BioGaia tablets are dead/alive? Any similar experience
- any reliable source to buy them in Germany/Europe?
2024.05.20 08:38 PepiDaJudoka Why do they do so much better without me?
I'd like to put on some information about pwBPD and their usual behavioral pattern after breakup.
Many ex partners of pwBPD or pwNPD often witness a certain behavior that happens right after the breakup. The pwBPD or pwNPD starts acting indifferent and really "over it". This behavior has complex reasons.
As they discard you, often, they need to make up a reason that is untrue or is just very uncertain. This is because you didn't do anything wrong. Many of us don't believe that there's not a fault on our side because of GASLIGHTING. pwBPD and pwNPD often try to change partner's perception and points of view, they're masters of it. Actually, it is pretty easy for them to succeed at gaslighting since their partner loves them so much and doesn't intend to search for the truth, in the moment.
Another reason is that pwBPD has found a new FP. Oftentimes, they do so even during the relationship. Now, please note a few things. The new FP is about to go through the same hell, you went through. The cycles of devaluation and revaluation are INEVITABLE, just as discard. This behavior is NOT to be taken personally, try to get this in your mind.
Once they get rejected or bored of their new FP, they WILL hoover. And now, let me tell you something. Once their partner expressed love to them, they consider them their object, forever. There is no way out of this place. Even if the pwBPD has a new FP. Not even NC gets you out of this place. You will always stay in their database of supplies, UNTIL ONE OF YOU DIES, if I'm to say it like that. That is why they hoover even after 5-10-20 years later. When they don't hoover, it means, they either don't care now or they assume you're mad at them so they wait it out for you to cool down.
Most importantly, if you can't stand that they're doing so much better without you, please know, they don't. It's all a facade. It's their own fake reality, they try to make real for them and their people.
The discard is just a bigger brother of splitting. It doesn't mean anything else but an exhibition of their inconsistency. When they split, they also snap back. When they discard, they want to snap back too, often they only can't. They certainly miss what they had with you, as their decisions are always uncertain and always changing.
I don't say, I'm doing any good after breakup, i have severe panic attacks and depression. But I hope to help someone by posting this. I study BPD and NPD every single day ever since breaking up so I know the patterns and intentions. Stay strong, people ❤️
submitted by PepiDaJudoka to BPDlovedones [link] [comments]
Many ex partners of pwBPD or pwNPD often witness a certain behavior that happens right after the breakup. The pwBPD or pwNPD starts acting indifferent and really "over it". This behavior has complex reasons.
As they discard you, often, they need to make up a reason that is untrue or is just very uncertain. This is because you didn't do anything wrong. Many of us don't believe that there's not a fault on our side because of GASLIGHTING. pwBPD and pwNPD often try to change partner's perception and points of view, they're masters of it. Actually, it is pretty easy for them to succeed at gaslighting since their partner loves them so much and doesn't intend to search for the truth, in the moment.
Another reason is that pwBPD has found a new FP. Oftentimes, they do so even during the relationship. Now, please note a few things. The new FP is about to go through the same hell, you went through. The cycles of devaluation and revaluation are INEVITABLE, just as discard. This behavior is NOT to be taken personally, try to get this in your mind.
Once they get rejected or bored of their new FP, they WILL hoover. And now, let me tell you something. Once their partner expressed love to them, they consider them their object, forever. There is no way out of this place. Even if the pwBPD has a new FP. Not even NC gets you out of this place. You will always stay in their database of supplies, UNTIL ONE OF YOU DIES, if I'm to say it like that. That is why they hoover even after 5-10-20 years later. When they don't hoover, it means, they either don't care now or they assume you're mad at them so they wait it out for you to cool down.
Most importantly, if you can't stand that they're doing so much better without you, please know, they don't. It's all a facade. It's their own fake reality, they try to make real for them and their people.
The discard is just a bigger brother of splitting. It doesn't mean anything else but an exhibition of their inconsistency. When they split, they also snap back. When they discard, they want to snap back too, often they only can't. They certainly miss what they had with you, as their decisions are always uncertain and always changing.
I don't say, I'm doing any good after breakup, i have severe panic attacks and depression. But I hope to help someone by posting this. I study BPD and NPD every single day ever since breaking up so I know the patterns and intentions. Stay strong, people ❤️
2024.05.20 08:38 K7sweetshrooms Growing Magic Mushrooms From Scratch
 | [caption id="attachment_2913" align="aligncenter" width="664"]📷 Magic Mushroom Grow Kit: Growing Your Own Is Easy[/caption] submitted by K7sweetshrooms to MagicMushroomUSA [link] [comments] Magic Mushroom Grow Kit: Growing Your Own Is EasyPsilocybin supporters want to be able to enjoy their preferred magical mushroom without having to worry about buying it from a dealer on the street or using other dubious methods to get high.These organizations are researching the use of psilocybin and other psychedelic substances, such as LSD, in the medical sector, particularly with regard to their ability to treat certain mental health issues, such as PTSD. What if you could produce fresh mushrooms all year round in the comfort of your own home, avoiding all of this possible trouble? Nowadays, anyone who is interested can try their hand at it very easily. [caption id="attachment_2914" align="aligncenter" width="620"]📷 Magic Mushroom Grow Kit: Growing Your Own Is Easy[/caption] How to Grow Your Own Shrooms[caption id="attachment_2915" align="aligncenter" width="815"]📷 Magic Mushroom Grow Kit[/caption]Growing your own organic mushroom crop is surprisingly easy these days, and you can buy almost everything you need with a mushroom grow kit directly from the internet, from places like Amazon, 2funguys, and Back to the Roots Organic. There are additional websites that specialize in selling kits that include everything you need to grow various kinds of mushrooms. Additionally, there are many different varieties of mushrooms available. You're likely to find what you're searching for, whether it's a Lion's Mane mushroom kit, a pearl oyster mushroom, reishi mushrooms, shiitake mushrooms, morel mushrooms, Golden Teachers, or something else What you'll absolutely need are two things: Consider spores as the seeds for your [mushroom](https:https://mondomagicmushroom.com) harvest. You should have flourishing mushrooms in a few months if you sow these into your substrate and maintain humidity and happiness for them. A spore syringe is a necessary instrument for the work because it makes it simple to scatter your spores onto the substrate. Even while you could start from scratch, that would take a lot longer and might not be as beginner-friendly of a procedure. Because of this, you should consider purchasing a [mushroom grow kit](https:https://mondomagicmushroom.com), which includes a ready-to-use substrate, spores of the mushroom variety of your choice, and a spore syringe. You can experiment with a new growing medium as you gain experience. To aid in the growth of the mushrooms, some farmers opt to utilize a humidity tent with indirect light, while others continue to employ Harvest and StorageGive your [mushroomsmagic mushrooms grow kits ] time to grow (this can vary depending on the particular type you selected), and once harvesting time arrives, you'll want to store your mushrooms someplace secure and cool until you intend to cook them for consumption.The mushrooms should be completely dried before being stored in a cool, dark area, like a cabinet or cellar. They can theoretically remain effective eternally if you want to put them in a freezer until you're ready to use them, but you can anticipate them to last for up to three years in this state. [Psilocybe mushroomspsilocybe mushrooms ] should be dried before storing by being placed on a piece of paper or a napkin for a few days. The procedure might be sped up by putting them underneath an operating fan. Is There Anything You Should Know About Magic Mushrooms?Although proponents of psychedelia have extensively extolled the virtues of mushrooms and other psychedelic drugs like mescaline, peyote, and LSD, it's crucial to keep in mind that these drugs also have drawbacks. |
2024.05.20 08:38 GhoulGriin Best Cheap Crossbows
 | submitted by GhoulGriin to u/GhoulGriin [link] [comments] https://preview.redd.it/6nqvjb6y0j1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c9ae3159d3bcf8e511bd75a62384428e04291134 Are you looking for a cost-effective way to get into crossbow shooting? Look no further! In this article, we've compiled a list of the best cheap crossbows on the market, ensuring that you can enjoy the thrill of target practice without breaking the bank. Discover the top budget-friendly options and choose the one that suits your needs and budget. . The Top 17 Best Cheap Crossbows
Reviews🔗Affordable Camo Crossbow Package for Hunting Enthusiastshttps://preview.redd.it/vykbfl6z0j1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7cb402a37e8bd54254061a44ab8efa69098d11f1 During my first encounter with the Barnett Wildcat C5 Camo Crossbow Package, I was immediately impressed by its sleek design and ease of assembly. It only took me about 20 minutes to set it up, and I was ready to take my first shot. This crossbow felt surprisingly comfortable, thanks to the lightweight GAM composite stock and thumb hold grip. While shooting, the vented quad limbs helped keep noise down, making it more enjoyable to use outdoors. One of my favorite features was the high-energy wheels, which provided a smooth and steady drawback with every shot. Additionally, the synthetic string and cable system added great durability and reliability. However, one issue I faced was with the scope; it required a bit of adjustment to get it zeroed in correctly, but that's a minor concern compared to the overall performance of the crossbow. Overall, the Barnett Wildcat C5 Camo Crossbow Package proved to be a fantastic addition to my outdoor gear collection. Despite being a newbie in the world of crossbows, I could quickly handle this one with ease and confidence. I highly recommend it to anyone looking for an affordable, powerful, and reliable crossbow package. 🔗Steambow AR-6 Stinger II Tactical Crossbow - High-Performance Hunting Accessoryhttps://preview.redd.it/o5j9kjsz0j1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=985fb6d846825955de7beb201a09981fbca09c4f The Steambow AR-6 Stinger II Tactical has definitely made an impact in my daily life. The first thing that caught my attention was its sleek design. The impact-resistant polymer construction is not only durable but also UV-resistant, which is a great feature for outdoor use. The length-adjustable AR-style buttstock along with the standard buffer tube provides a comfortable grip. One of the standout features for me was the maximum velocity of up to 220 FPS and a maximum energy of up to 15.2 FPE. I could really feel the power behind each shot! The ridged and textured pistol grip made holding it steady during use much easier. However, there were a couple of drawbacks. The instructions booklet was virtually useless, and I had to rely on a video to assemble it. Additionally, the shims were quite frustrating. Despite these small setbacks, the crossbow performed well and was a lot of fun to use. Overall, I'd recommend this to someone looking for an affordable and powerful crossbow. 🔗Affordable Compact Crossbow for Various Useshttps://preview.redd.it/ghpez0d11j1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=38f158440727c3d5344ecd215bf9ebdd6f264486 The AR-6 Stinger II Compact Crossbow Black 414, a compact and versatile crossbow that has become a staple in my outdoor adventures. Its ease of use and portability have made it a go-to choice for a variety of activities. The draw weight of 35 pounds ensures a sturdy and reliable shot, while its compact design makes it perfect for hunting in tight spaces or carrying during longer excursions. However, despite its strong points, I've noticed that it can be quite noisy, which might be a concern for those in more sensitive shooting environments. Overall, the AR-6 Stinger II Compact Crossbow Black 414 strikes a balance between performance and convenience, making it a worthwhile investment for hunting enthusiasts on a budget. 🔗Affordable High-Performance Crossbow Packagehttps://preview.redd.it/od5fr6t11j1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=974cd23ded362693b0b80a7372171e77ba2bc894 I was skeptical when I first heard about the Killer Instinct Boss 405 Crossbow Package. Would it live up to its name or be just another cheap, noisy contraption? To find out, I decided to give it a try. The first thing that stood out was the crossbow's lightweight design. The X-Loc foregrip and adjustable stock made it effortless to handle and maneuver. The micro-Lite aluminum barrel was another impressive feature, providing both accuracy and reducing the overall weight of the crossbow. The Lumix 4x32 illuminated scope offered a clear, bright view of the target. However, I found the trigger to be a bit tricky at first. It took some practice but eventually, I got used to it. I also appreciated the string and limb suppressors, as they helped reduce the noise when I fired the crossbow. While using the crossbow, I noticed that it required a bit more cocking effort than expected. But with the supplied rope cocker, I was able to manage the weight effectively. Overall, the Killer Instinct Boss 405 Crossbow Package had its flaws, like the tricky trigger and clunky adjustable stock mechanism. However, the positives, such as the accurate shooting and sleek design, won me over. For the price, it's a great value that provides a satisfying hunting experience. 🔗Killer Instinct Lethal 405 Crossbow Package: Powerful Hunting Accessory for Beginnershttps://preview.redd.it/gutecrc21j1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ca814609840131fbb8f10a15ba73196da02e41d6 The Killer Instinct Lethal 405 Hunting Crossbow Pro Package has quickly become a trusted companion in my outdoor adventures. The powerful, durable design of this crossbow stands out among others - its aluminum barrel, adjustable stock, and quiet operation have made it my go-to choice for hunting in various terrains. The most striking feature of this crossbow is the Dead Silent limb and string suppressors. On countless occasions, they have allowed me to take down game without spooking my quarry. Moreover, the included rope cocker has significantly improved my reloading speed, ensuring I'm always prepared for the next shot. However, this crossbow isn't without its drawbacks. The bolt quiver isn't particularly impressive, and the field tips on the carbon bolts can be quite fragile. I found myself constantly replacing them, which felt somewhat wasteful. Additionally, the crossbow's IBO speed rating of 405 feet per second can sometimes lead to overshooting targets, as I have to be extra cautious with my aim to avoid overcompensating. Despite its minor flaws, the Killer Instinct Lethal 405 Hunting Crossbow Pro Package has proven to be a reliable and fun tool for my hunting endeavors. It packs all the necessary features to put a successful hunt together and has yet to miss a mark. Whether you're an experienced hunter or just dipping your toes into the world of crossbows, this one is worth considering. 🔗Affordable CenterPoint Hornet Recurve Crossbow - Speedy Fun for Beginnershttps://preview.redd.it/7pl502p21j1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d4be2445054fa3bb69a74ede7152545fd27061d3 I had the pleasure of trying out the Centerpoint Crossbow Hornet, and let me tell you, it definitely lived up to my expectations! This crossbow was so convenient and easy to use that I quickly became hooked. One of the first things I noticed was how incredibly fast it was; it could fire arrows at remarkable speeds of up to 191 FPS. I never thought I would be using a crossbow so casually, but it quickly became something I enjoyed practicing with. The stealth black stock and reflex red dot sight made it incredibly accurate, and I found myself hitting the mark with almost every shot. However, the red dot sight did leave a little to be desired. Its build quality felt a bit cheap, and I had to improvise a solution to keep it in place. But overall, the inclusion of three 6-inch aluminum arrows was a nice touch. Another feature I appreciated was its ease of use. The break barrel style cocking made reloading incredibly simple, and I could handle it without any issues. Though the product's draw weight was 80 lbs, it still felt lightweight and compact. However, I did encounter a few hiccups during my experience. A couple of the arrows snapped when they met their targets, and I had to search for replacements. Additionally, I had trouble with a stray screw that kept coming loose on the barrels, which was a minor annoyance. Despite these small setbacks, I found the Centerpoint Crossbow Hornet to be a great crossbow for the price. It was fun, engaging, and offered some surprising features that made it quite enjoyable to use. Overall, this product may be ideal for someone who wants an inexpensive way to practice archery or engage in some backyard target practice. 🔗Centerpoint Dagger 405 Crossbow for High-Performance Shootinghttps://preview.redd.it/ky7usw531j1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5b0a13726966cddc84852ab4d3c2e5d03fdc485f The Centerpoint Dagger 405 Crossbow was a game-changer in my hunting experience. With its adjustable butt pad, I found it to be an ergonomic fit, allowing me to wield it with ease, even during long sessions. I was particularly impressed by its Whisper Silencing System, which helped keep my prey unaware of my presence. The crossbow boasted a powerful 405 feet per second speed, packing quite the punch. However, the drawback I had to confront was the draw weight, at a hefty 220 pounds. It became a real challenge to pull back the string, even for someone with my experience. The Dagger 405 comes equipped with a decent scope and comes with a few carbon arrows, a detachable quiver, and some rail lube, making it an all-inclusive package. Overall, while the Dagger 405 does come with its fair share of challenges, its accuracy and power make it an excellent choice for those looking for a reliable hunting companion. 🔗High-Performance Crossbow with Fast Speed and Durable Designhttps://preview.redd.it/2kbddah31j1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=709182e8a4ae9fdf4a5f8fcf7481fd456984147a I recently tried out the BearX Trek 380, and must say, it was quite the experience. The speed and power packed into this compact crossbow are certainly impressive. Weighing in at just 7.5 pounds, it's incredibly easy to maneuver in the field, even for beginners like me. One of the standout features is the anti-dry fire inhibitor and the dual string suppressor system. These safety mechanisms provide a sense of security when using the crossbow. However, I did find the cocking process a bit challenging, especially without the assistance of a crank. The crossbow also comes with a 4x32mm multi-crosshair scope, 3 carbon arrows with field points, 5-arrow quiver, cocking rope, rail lube, and string wax. This is quite a comprehensive package for a crossbow at this price point. Overall, the BearX Trek 380 offers a great balance between performance and affordability. It's definitely worth considering for those looking to get into crossbow hunting without breaking the bank. Just remember to be patient when getting the hang of it, and always prioritize safety when handling the weapon. 🔗High-Power Crossbow with Whisper Silencing Systemhttps://preview.redd.it/q5b4tmu31j1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=47dd45a1dae85720b67472ada9d33c53af1886bf My experience with the Centerpoint Amped 425 Crossbow has been a mix of excitement and frustration. On one hand, the bow generates some devastating power from its compact build, delivering up to 425 feet per second and a knockdown force of 160 foot-pounds - all with a whisper-silent design. The custom-designed riser, aluminum rail, and adjustable stock provide a smooth, comfortable handling experience. However, a few cons come to mind. First, the weight and difficulty in cocking the bow might be a challenge for some users, especially those who are new to crossbows. Lastly, while the Whisper Silencing System does a great job of reducing noise, some users might find it necessary to add the optional cocking device for easier use. Overall, I find that the Centerpoint Amped 425 Crossbow is a powerful, well-crafted, and user-friendly crossbow that's a great choice for the budget-conscious crossbow enthusiast. 🔗High-Quality All Black Compound Crossbow for Experienced Shootershttps://preview.redd.it/n2lohg641j1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e9164f080765a78610fba58058c7afc43a63b7ba The SAS MK-250 Compound Crossbow is a powerful bow designed for the seasoned crossbow shooter. With its sleek all-black finish, it not only looks stylish but also feels comfortable and stable to hold and shoot. The crossbow boasts a solid aluminum arrow guide and a reliable trigger mechanism, ensuring each shot is precise and accurate. The bow limbs, made of strong pressed Hi-Tech glassfibre, help maintain the integrity and longevity of the crossbow, no matter how frequently it's used. However, this crossbow might not be the best choice for beginners. Its lack of dampers, string stops, and anti-fire device may lead to a noisy and less efficient shooting experience. Additionally, the arrows that come with the crossbow are quite heavy and may require replacement to achieve optimal speed. Overall, this crossbow delivers on power and durability, but it may not be as user-friendly for those new to the sport. 🔗Adjustable Compact Pink Crossbow for Outdoor Funhttps://preview.redd.it/nyazvfo41j1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=97586fd26fcb0f8c4a49ed22382a2c0dce4d9a8f Using the Bear x Desire XL Pistol Crossbow has been an exciting adventure in my backyard. The compact design of this pistol crossbow makes it easy to store and transport, yet it's powerful and accurate. The self-cocking arm and forearm grip are perfect for beginners like me, and the adjustable stock allows for comfort and increased stability while shooting. The velocity of 175 FPS makes target practice enjoyable and the 60-pound draw weight provides a challenge without being too overwhelming. However, there are a couple of drawbacks to this pistol crossbow. The supplied aluminum bolts with plastic push-in fletchings are prone to breaking upon impact with firm surfaces, and the cocking stock latch tends to break almost immediately. These issues are frustrating, but they do not significantly detract from the overall performance of the pistol crossbow. In conclusion, the Bear x Desire XL Pistol Crossbow offers a fun and user-friendly shooting experience for beginners and enthusiasts alike. Its adjustable stock, compact design, and powerful velocity make it an excellent choice for backyard target practice. However, the flimsy bolts and faulty latch might require replacement over time. 🔗Affordable Wicked Ridge Invader Crossbow with ACUdraw and Pro-View 400 Scopehttps://preview.redd.it/ra0k1c051j1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=04e4f7e5feac4d70b1997148caf4716fa495df17 I recently had the chance to try out the Wicked Ridge Invader M1 crossbow, and I must say, it exceeded my expectations. As a beginner with crossbow hunting, this product was an excellent addition to my gear. The built-in ACUdraw crank cocking device proved to be a game-changer, significantly reducing the draw weight and making cocking a breeze. One of the standout features was the 70-yard Pro-View 400 scope, which offered impressive aimpoints and a cleaner view for improved accuracy. The scope's updated reticle made a noticeable difference when taking shots at various distances. Additionally, the crossbow's pre-sighting at 20 yards gave me confidence that it would perform well on the hunt. The fact that this crossbow is built in the United States was a nice touch, and the craftsmanship was evident upon handling the device. The inclusion of a Pro-View 400 scope, 3 Match 400 arrows, and a 3-arrow quiver made the package even more appealing. However, there were a couple of downsides I encountered during my experience. Firstly, the compact size of the crossbow made it slightly uncomfortable for me to carry and handle for extended periods. Additionally, the weight of the crossbow was a bit heavier than expected, making it challenging for me to carry it around for hours in the field. Despite these minor drawbacks, the Wicked Ridge Invader M1 crossbow proved to be a reliable and efficient hunting companion. The combination of features and performance made it a valuable addition to my gear, and I would highly recommend it to anyone looking to upgrade their crossbow or start their hunting journey. Buyer's Guidehttps://preview.redd.it/s082nng71j1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a58deee1a7817adb9972b61444a05e287db87b7b None FAQhttps://preview.redd.it/8ftfkcu71j1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c959a504301a2b7cbf412469c925891cb49b71ac What is the best cheap crossbow on the market?The best cheap crossbow on the market varies depending on the user's preferences and budget. However, some highly-rated options worth considering are the Barnett Outdoorsman Recruit Tactical Crossbow Package, the CenterPoint Sniper 380 Fully Loaded Crossbow Package, and the Tenpoint Intrepid G2 Crossbow Package. All of these offer great value for their price point.What is the minimum age requirement to use crossbows?https://preview.redd.it/saqbbe781j1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=95b55b8ba0805733643688b690923eb8ff4cdfc0 In the United States, there is no minimum age requirement for using a crossbow. However, it is recommended that children under 16 be supervised by an adult when using the device. What is the maximum range of a cheap crossbow?The maximum range of a cheap crossbow can vary significantly depending on factors such as the quality of the arrows, the power stroke of the crossbow, and the user's skill. As a general guideline, expect a cheap crossbow to have a maximum range of around 400 feet (120 meters) to 600 feet (180 meters) when using high-quality arrows. https://preview.redd.it/t86984n81j1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=66eaf025fea923b016c03e0a1b3b02ae1768501c What are the safety features of a cheap crossbow?Cheap crossbows usually come with safety features such as an anti-dry fire mechanism, a safety trigger guard, and a safety switch to prevent accidental discharge. It is essential to follow the manufacturer's instructions for proper usage and to always wear safety gear when using a crossbow.Can I use broadheads with a cheap crossbow?Yes, you can use broadheads with a cheap crossbow. However, it is essential to choose the appropriate broadhead for the type of hunting or shooting you plan to do. Broadheads specifically designed for crossbows are generally more durable and provide better accuracy.What is the average weight of a cheap crossbow?The average weight of a cheap crossbow typically ranges between 6 and 8 pounds (2.7 and 3.6 kilograms). Lighter crossbows can be easier to handle and maneuver, while heavier ones may offer more stability and accuracy.Do I need a license to own or use a cheap crossbow?Licensing requirements for owning and using a cheap crossbow can vary depending on your location. In the United States, many states do not require a license for owning or using a crossbow. However, you may need a hunting license if you plan to use the crossbow for hunting purposes. It is essential to check your local laws and regulations before purchasing or using a cheap crossbow.What is the recommended draw weight for a cheap crossbow?The recommended draw weight for a cheap crossbow can depend on factors such as the user's strength, the type of hunting or shooting they plan to do, and the local laws and regulations. As a general guideline, beginner crossbow users may prefer a low draw weight of around 150 pounds (66 kilograms), while more experienced users may opt for higher draw weights of 200 pounds (90 kilograms) or more.As an Amazon™ Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases. |
2024.05.20 08:37 Queasy_Possession_67 Journey to Unphimosis
My journey began mid to late last year (m 20 then) and at the point I had never seen the head of my penis and having been desensitised to porn growing up you do grow with this reality that something isn’t normal. Irrespective of this I never really took any action and just assumed like for everyone else that one day it will naturally loosen up.
However this wasn’t the case and having a girlfriend and partaking in sensual activities you do realise that whilst my condition was not at the severe end it was still making any action in the bedroom highly uncomfortable. This would lead to slight cuts, not being able to finish and really affecting my mental state and making me feel ashamed that Id struggle to finish. It would also make me feel bad for my girlfriend to by not being able to finish and I think it really affected the both of us.
So for me it was about taking a stand, doing the research and like all good things in life nothing comes easy. Hours of reading to figure out what is happening, the seriousness and ways to address. I initially went to a GP who was completely useless and not interested so I began to do my own work. Slow stretching in a warm shower and within two weeks I managed to whilst flacid retract my foreskin. Whilst this was exciting you realise the years of hygiene problems you face with phimosis having had Smegma and the sensitivity issues as well.
But seeing results is probably the greatest reward that one can have and I do urge everyone who has it to keep persevering small steps everyday and the results will come and that will drive you to keep going. For me the hardest part has been retracting whilst erect and whilst I have been able to for a couple months it is still a work in progress and stretching is a daily task I still undertake in the shower each day to loosen the foreskin.
I can safely say having done so it has rapidly improved my own confidence as well as my intimate life and therefore whilst the first step is the hardest and it will take time to see results, if you put your mind to it it is more than possible.
Good luck on your journeys comrades and I will see you on the other side 🫡🫡
submitted by Queasy_Possession_67 to Phimosishelp [link] [comments]
However this wasn’t the case and having a girlfriend and partaking in sensual activities you do realise that whilst my condition was not at the severe end it was still making any action in the bedroom highly uncomfortable. This would lead to slight cuts, not being able to finish and really affecting my mental state and making me feel ashamed that Id struggle to finish. It would also make me feel bad for my girlfriend to by not being able to finish and I think it really affected the both of us.
So for me it was about taking a stand, doing the research and like all good things in life nothing comes easy. Hours of reading to figure out what is happening, the seriousness and ways to address. I initially went to a GP who was completely useless and not interested so I began to do my own work. Slow stretching in a warm shower and within two weeks I managed to whilst flacid retract my foreskin. Whilst this was exciting you realise the years of hygiene problems you face with phimosis having had Smegma and the sensitivity issues as well.
But seeing results is probably the greatest reward that one can have and I do urge everyone who has it to keep persevering small steps everyday and the results will come and that will drive you to keep going. For me the hardest part has been retracting whilst erect and whilst I have been able to for a couple months it is still a work in progress and stretching is a daily task I still undertake in the shower each day to loosen the foreskin.
I can safely say having done so it has rapidly improved my own confidence as well as my intimate life and therefore whilst the first step is the hardest and it will take time to see results, if you put your mind to it it is more than possible.
Good luck on your journeys comrades and I will see you on the other side 🫡🫡
2024.05.20 08:36 silhaa How do we move forward with this?
Basically,my boyfriend and I were out on a date and when we were at the table waiting for our food,we were joking around about checking each others phones and he said show me your WhatsApp as a joke. I was like look and just opened my WhatsApp and gave it. I have this thing where I feel uncomfortable giving access to my phone or my laptop to anyone,regardless of my relationship w that person. It makes me unsettled if someone has my phone/laptop far too long because there’s a lot that I keep on these devices that are just for myself,nothing incriminating or that errs on the side of cheating. So i acted weirdly and grabbed my phone and quickly showed him my Instagram as well. I asked as a joke and he gave me his phone but I didn’t even take a peek because well i trust him.
Fast forward to when we’re in his car he tells me he felt insecure because of the way I acted,like I’ve something to hide. Which understandably so,I did act like I’ve something to hide. Now we were both high and drunk as well,and he said he was getting paranoid thinking of the way I reacted to the situation and I’d never acted that way before which I agree. I tried to explain it to him that I’m weird when it comes to my phone and my laptop and that there’s nothing on it that would suggest infidelity of any sort but he was too clouded by his emotions and wasn’t opening to hearing me out,he just said if there’s nothing on there let me go through it once and you can prove me wrong. Now this going through each others phones thing that couples do is something that goes against the values I hold for relationships,because I believe reaching that point means the relationship is already dead. And I thought he was also aligned on this because he’s told me checking each others phone is weird and I wouldn’t ever agree on a relationship w someone that does that. I do agree the way I acted was very unlike me it did seem like I had something to hide. So I flat out denied doing that for him because it goes against the values that I hold for relationships which makes me look more sus I agree. He was visibly distressed because in his opinion the explanation I was giving were mere words and if I let him go thru my WhatsApp once i could prove him wrong.
He said he tried not to think much of it while we were sitting and he was expecting me to notice his changed demeanour in the restaurant and ask him what’s wrong. I told him it’s harder for me to read a person when I’m under the influence which I’ve told him before also. He told me if he didn’t tell me about this right now,the feelings will ruminate if he keeps it in the rest of the relationship and end up making things much worse so he wanted to get to the bottom of this and move ahead w the relationship. And when I denied,he said it would be a dealbreaker because his mind would never have peace continuing forward and it would harbour actual trust issues. He told me just let me go thru your WhatsApp for 2 minutes and I hope you prove me wrong. He wasn’t ready to listen and wanted a solution that would alleviate this problem fit to his liking. Finally I gave up and let him go thru it and I broke down. There was nothing on it and he was extremely apologetic about it and we discussed it in detail. This was extremely shitty of him to put me thru especially when I’ve never even once come close to breaking his trust and he’s done me wrong a few times(nothing like cheating or anything) and I still had faith in him,so it isn’t unreasonable to expect the same back esp when I’ve never given him a reason to ever doubt me. At that point he let his insecurity take over him and I feel I shouldn’t need to prove myself at every point (I’ve never had to,ever) because of his personal insecurities. He told me it’s also because sometimes he feels like he’s being played because I don’t put in as much effort (for eg he gets me flowers every meet and chocolates and orders me food randomly and I don’t do any of this) so it feels very one sided (we’ve just been seeing each other 3 months) so I told him it’s because he’s done me wrong before that I’m apprehensive of putting in efforts to spoil the other person and that since he told me this a few days prior to this altercation I’ve been working on that as well. Obviously I called it quits then and there after giving him my phone because he was extremely anxious and I just wanted to stabilise his mental state. I agree the way I acted was v sus but does that warrant such an outcome? Advice is appreciated! TIA xx
submitted by silhaa to TwoXIndia [link] [comments]
Fast forward to when we’re in his car he tells me he felt insecure because of the way I acted,like I’ve something to hide. Which understandably so,I did act like I’ve something to hide. Now we were both high and drunk as well,and he said he was getting paranoid thinking of the way I reacted to the situation and I’d never acted that way before which I agree. I tried to explain it to him that I’m weird when it comes to my phone and my laptop and that there’s nothing on it that would suggest infidelity of any sort but he was too clouded by his emotions and wasn’t opening to hearing me out,he just said if there’s nothing on there let me go through it once and you can prove me wrong. Now this going through each others phones thing that couples do is something that goes against the values I hold for relationships,because I believe reaching that point means the relationship is already dead. And I thought he was also aligned on this because he’s told me checking each others phone is weird and I wouldn’t ever agree on a relationship w someone that does that. I do agree the way I acted was very unlike me it did seem like I had something to hide. So I flat out denied doing that for him because it goes against the values that I hold for relationships which makes me look more sus I agree. He was visibly distressed because in his opinion the explanation I was giving were mere words and if I let him go thru my WhatsApp once i could prove him wrong.
He said he tried not to think much of it while we were sitting and he was expecting me to notice his changed demeanour in the restaurant and ask him what’s wrong. I told him it’s harder for me to read a person when I’m under the influence which I’ve told him before also. He told me if he didn’t tell me about this right now,the feelings will ruminate if he keeps it in the rest of the relationship and end up making things much worse so he wanted to get to the bottom of this and move ahead w the relationship. And when I denied,he said it would be a dealbreaker because his mind would never have peace continuing forward and it would harbour actual trust issues. He told me just let me go thru your WhatsApp for 2 minutes and I hope you prove me wrong. He wasn’t ready to listen and wanted a solution that would alleviate this problem fit to his liking. Finally I gave up and let him go thru it and I broke down. There was nothing on it and he was extremely apologetic about it and we discussed it in detail. This was extremely shitty of him to put me thru especially when I’ve never even once come close to breaking his trust and he’s done me wrong a few times(nothing like cheating or anything) and I still had faith in him,so it isn’t unreasonable to expect the same back esp when I’ve never given him a reason to ever doubt me. At that point he let his insecurity take over him and I feel I shouldn’t need to prove myself at every point (I’ve never had to,ever) because of his personal insecurities. He told me it’s also because sometimes he feels like he’s being played because I don’t put in as much effort (for eg he gets me flowers every meet and chocolates and orders me food randomly and I don’t do any of this) so it feels very one sided (we’ve just been seeing each other 3 months) so I told him it’s because he’s done me wrong before that I’m apprehensive of putting in efforts to spoil the other person and that since he told me this a few days prior to this altercation I’ve been working on that as well. Obviously I called it quits then and there after giving him my phone because he was extremely anxious and I just wanted to stabilise his mental state. I agree the way I acted was v sus but does that warrant such an outcome? Advice is appreciated! TIA xx
2024.05.20 08:36 findmewithabook How new is the alcoholism?
Touchy subject but YOLO I guess:
I wanna start this by saying, like many people, I have lost (and gotten to keep in spite of!) loved ones to issues with substance abuse. I’m not trying to make light of this issue, but I think it does deserve actual discussion.
Am I the only one who isn’t really buying the sudden “secret alcoholic” label? Even typing that thought out feels very wrong and bad, because I know that it’s really not my fucking place to say this about anybody’s life or health, ever… but also she put it in the art, so let’s treat her like a goddamn artist for once:
I know she’s been on the wine mom vibes for several years now (in fact, I’m pretty sure I know EXACTLY when this change took place as somebody very close to me is a massive Swifty who was a complete teetotaller, never even had a sip until they were almost 30, and then suddenly was ok with moderate alcohol to wind down…around the same time I noticed the change in Taylor’s image; so I have a rough idea that it’s been about 3-4 years of “wine mother TayTay”.)
But wine mom vibes were a part of the cultural zeitgeist. All those cringy painted wine glasses with lame logos, the memes. I feel like it fits her millennial heart to the core. She put it in her music like other artists and it was both age appropriate and culturally accepted.
Now, I know that normal drinking can become problematic drinking. I know that problematic drinking can look and operate in a variety of unexpected ways that might not necessarily seem problematic to onlookers. It’s feasible, expected even, that a millennial wine mom could grow to have a drinking problem.
And yet, I still think it’s fucking bullshit.
The Master of Schemeville coincidentally owning up to a fraught relationship with a substance while titling herself “tortured” and “poet” at the same time? At its best it’s cliche and cringe purely because as a society we’re trying not to glorify those things and their connection to art, at worst it’s manipulative and dismissive of heavy societal ills. And make no mistake, “owning up” to the alcoholism while titling the album that is glorification. Full stop.
I know a lot of the evidence recently is regarding her embarrassing behavior at the Grammy’s and her always having a drink in hand for paparazzi pics… so? She’s always been embarrassing in public. Drunk, sober, young, or old. Always cringe.
She knew what was on the album before the Grammys. She’s a master manipulator and knows what the public is thinking about her at all times. Of course she was going to get drunk and act up. Of course she’s going to always have drinks in hand after the album. Of course of course of course. She said she was an alcoholic in TTPD and now she’s doing what she always does, rewriting history and planting current clues to fit the narrative.
submitted by findmewithabook to travisandtaylor [link] [comments]
I wanna start this by saying, like many people, I have lost (and gotten to keep in spite of!) loved ones to issues with substance abuse. I’m not trying to make light of this issue, but I think it does deserve actual discussion.
Am I the only one who isn’t really buying the sudden “secret alcoholic” label? Even typing that thought out feels very wrong and bad, because I know that it’s really not my fucking place to say this about anybody’s life or health, ever… but also she put it in the art, so let’s treat her like a goddamn artist for once:
I know she’s been on the wine mom vibes for several years now (in fact, I’m pretty sure I know EXACTLY when this change took place as somebody very close to me is a massive Swifty who was a complete teetotaller, never even had a sip until they were almost 30, and then suddenly was ok with moderate alcohol to wind down…around the same time I noticed the change in Taylor’s image; so I have a rough idea that it’s been about 3-4 years of “wine mother TayTay”.)
But wine mom vibes were a part of the cultural zeitgeist. All those cringy painted wine glasses with lame logos, the memes. I feel like it fits her millennial heart to the core. She put it in her music like other artists and it was both age appropriate and culturally accepted.
Now, I know that normal drinking can become problematic drinking. I know that problematic drinking can look and operate in a variety of unexpected ways that might not necessarily seem problematic to onlookers. It’s feasible, expected even, that a millennial wine mom could grow to have a drinking problem.
And yet, I still think it’s fucking bullshit.
The Master of Schemeville coincidentally owning up to a fraught relationship with a substance while titling herself “tortured” and “poet” at the same time? At its best it’s cliche and cringe purely because as a society we’re trying not to glorify those things and their connection to art, at worst it’s manipulative and dismissive of heavy societal ills. And make no mistake, “owning up” to the alcoholism while titling the album that is glorification. Full stop.
I know a lot of the evidence recently is regarding her embarrassing behavior at the Grammy’s and her always having a drink in hand for paparazzi pics… so? She’s always been embarrassing in public. Drunk, sober, young, or old. Always cringe.
She knew what was on the album before the Grammys. She’s a master manipulator and knows what the public is thinking about her at all times. Of course she was going to get drunk and act up. Of course she’s going to always have drinks in hand after the album. Of course of course of course. She said she was an alcoholic in TTPD and now she’s doing what she always does, rewriting history and planting current clues to fit the narrative.
2024.05.20 08:35 cristinabutnoh My [F29] fiancé [M28] confessed to lap dances/happy ending, do I need the details?
We’ve been together for 5.5 years, lived together 3 years, been engaged for 6 months. I literally thought we were the perfect couple because everything between us was seamless, no big fights, no toxicity, no jealousy. But recently he confessed to receiving a happy ending (see previous post for more details on that). He told me 1 week after it happened that he went for a massage, and the lady started touching him and he let her. He told me he didn’t touch her or anything either. He’s been extremely remorseful, sought therapy, and now we go to church together ( which I think is a miracle in and of itself because he always claimed to be an atheist ). I asked for space and in that time I decided that was something I could forgive him on, so we’ve been trying and everything was great!
But then, 2.5 months later, he drops more news on me. He told me that he actually looked up places that provided happy endings, and asked for it. He also grabbed her ass and tits. Then he tells me that he received two lap dances from strip clubs in Vegas in previous years: 2.5 years ago, he went to vegas for his little brothers bday. I specially asked him not to go to the strip club. When he came back from the trip, he told me they went but that he didn’t receive anything. I was sad ab this but since nothing happened I let it go. But turns out he lied and he did get a VIP lap dance. 1 year later, we went to vegas because he bought me a Bruno Mars concert ticket. If you don’t know, they take away your phone during his concert, so he dropped me off at the concert and then went to the strip club (because he knew I couldn’t access my phone for 2 hours to text him or check his location) and got a lap dance and never mentioned it until now. I literally had no idea. Both times the strippers allowed touching and he told me he touched their ass and tits, and asked to kiss the second strippers tits but she said no.
While h e was telling me he was crying and I can tell he is super remorseful. He confessed he has a porn addiction and that path led him to the strip clubs and happy ending. But he wants to change that which is why he confessed everything. During church the pastor said “what you don’t repair, you will repeat” so this is his way of repairing this.
I asked for space again, he’s getting an Airbnb for 1 month starting tomorrow per my request. That request alone was hard because I know he’s a wreck right now, but I have to put me first. So my question is, should I ask more details on what exactly happens during the lap dances? I didn’t really know what happens, but I looked it up right now and some say the stripper removes her panties, gives hand jobs, etc. but do I really need those details in order to process everything? Or am I just asking for pointless information? Obvi I don’t wanna know but I do at the same time.
submitted by cristinabutnoh to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
But then, 2.5 months later, he drops more news on me. He told me that he actually looked up places that provided happy endings, and asked for it. He also grabbed her ass and tits. Then he tells me that he received two lap dances from strip clubs in Vegas in previous years: 2.5 years ago, he went to vegas for his little brothers bday. I specially asked him not to go to the strip club. When he came back from the trip, he told me they went but that he didn’t receive anything. I was sad ab this but since nothing happened I let it go. But turns out he lied and he did get a VIP lap dance. 1 year later, we went to vegas because he bought me a Bruno Mars concert ticket. If you don’t know, they take away your phone during his concert, so he dropped me off at the concert and then went to the strip club (because he knew I couldn’t access my phone for 2 hours to text him or check his location) and got a lap dance and never mentioned it until now. I literally had no idea. Both times the strippers allowed touching and he told me he touched their ass and tits, and asked to kiss the second strippers tits but she said no.
While h e was telling me he was crying and I can tell he is super remorseful. He confessed he has a porn addiction and that path led him to the strip clubs and happy ending. But he wants to change that which is why he confessed everything. During church the pastor said “what you don’t repair, you will repeat” so this is his way of repairing this.
I asked for space again, he’s getting an Airbnb for 1 month starting tomorrow per my request. That request alone was hard because I know he’s a wreck right now, but I have to put me first. So my question is, should I ask more details on what exactly happens during the lap dances? I didn’t really know what happens, but I looked it up right now and some say the stripper removes her panties, gives hand jobs, etc. but do I really need those details in order to process everything? Or am I just asking for pointless information? Obvi I don’t wanna know but I do at the same time.
2024.05.20 08:35 Etherealmama3 Striking the match, and just cannot stop pouring the gas
TW mention of childhood trauma, fertility; ab*rtion and miscarriage
I (26, F) live with my partner (28 M) of two and a half years and our Irish twins (19 months and 5 months old) we have a long and complicated history to say the least. (10+ years) A timeline for some context would be that we met young, freshman and juniors in high school; we went to different schools, made up, broke up a few times and always kept a very tight friendship in between young spouts of infidelity and overall teen bs. In my youth I experienced many pregnancy complications, which led to some emotional trauma for me. (More context here; one miscarriage was my partner’s when we were young and I didn’t tell him— it wasn’t right, but a confusing time for me) Through everything we always came back to each other. I lived a rougher life with minimal support, while his parents fawned over him constantly, and always had a higher quality of life. (Not yucky rich people, people who worked hard and wanted their child to enjoy the benefits). His parents loved me and I kept him far away from my family’s mess. That is, until I got pregnant.
My partner and I, let’s call him Drew, were not together at the time I conceived our first child. I told him the truth- he wasn’t my only current partner and that I respected him enough to tell him outright immediately; I told him that I love him, and I would chose him, and would consider and ab*rtion even though it would destroy me. I would do it, to earn trust back, and solidify us together again, as I’ve always wanted. He said he could never let me do that, but the fact that I put that out on the table showed how much I valued him in this time. We slowly worked on us, and welcomed our first healthy baby together! It was so beautiful! He meant my family, I slowly realized again why I kept them away, but I put my best foot fwd to build a strong “family” foundation.
I felt myself treading on eggshells emotionally because I knew he was taking on a lot- id moved in with him and his parents for us to save money and get secure, he worked full time, and prepared fully for a baby he wasn’t sure would be his. (Context: we only found out our first child was his recently through paternity, we did not test @ the hospital as the child arrived premature and emotionally we clung together tho feelings may have been unresolved— Drew secretly got a test recently) I’m sure there was plenty he has not said to me as he worked through his emotions and fell so madly in love with our child so quickly, that everything went to the side. ALTHOUGH we were going out once a week, and were the happiest at this point in my opinion. I had no postpartum issues and things were moving in a positive direction!
We begin to find normal life again when BOOM! Baby #2– this time— Drew was thrilled! Bouncing around ecstatic! This pregnancy was ALSO very healthy! Very good! Both made me very sick, but I managed better than many women who get it far far worse than I did. This is where some conflict arrises. At this point with baby number 2, I want to move out. Asap. Obviously he’s breadwinner but long story short, we move out. We’ve now been here 6 months and things have gotten bad as of recent. My family lives very close by, which has caused some conflict. I start to see “expectations” being let down. With ourfirst child I was SO SAD that he didn’t get me flowers, so I’d assumed (stupid I know) that he would get some for me, and it wouldn’t happen, for example.
I feel like I’ve gotten no postpartum care after our second child. He was “exhausted” in the hospital when I was recovering and not paying much attention to me. When we got home, no real physical affection that didn’t feel sexually driven. I can’t explain it? Like he just didn’t care about me anymore? I tried explaining and felt low key bullied out of everything I was feeling, “that’s not what I meant, I’m sorry” I’d believe it, we move on. At a point it began feeling too disrespectful. Mind you, now I’m only a few weeks PP, still bl*eding from birth and really needing to feel loved, but in a different way? More emotional. I’ve only had my last child 14 months prior before his one was born, my body and brain are traumatized to say the least- at this point. Things escalate.
We get into heated arguments that I begin SCREAMING. He gets disrespectful and dismissive which sends me spiraling, and we go back and forth for a few weeks. I will explain, in detail, what I need, and still won’t get it. Or may receive a snarky remark on why I didn’t get treated the way I asked- after a while of this repeating- I finally snap. I put my hands on him. I disgusted myself. I shook in anger and he laughed in a way I’ve never seen. It terrifies me. It’s happened one other time now, which was worse than the first. This ends up happening as a result of him trying to retreat to sleep, where I feel dismissed, and frankly just gross that he leaves me in tears to sleep, that u stomp into the room and continue the argument. He will say things like “I just can’t do this I am too tired” and “I don’t care I’m too tired to care” and I continue to spiral. I emotionally abuse him when I go in and just cannot let it go, but I cannot sleep from the anxiety of an unresolved issue (especially ones where he is very mean and stomps off to sleep, something in my brain is so abandoned in that moment I almost demand him to love me like he claims he does) it is like my fight or flight like I need him to help me calm down because I love him and want to feel safe with him.
More context; this man has NEVER been mean to me. I believe this is a result of him not being watered/appreciated out loud by me, but always needing to “provide something” for me. The issue is the things he does (a lot) don’t need to be done. But the few small things I NEED done are never ever done (example, a clean bottle for the 6am feed before bed to help me a little) instead I wake up to a sink full of bottles and starving baby. Etc. so because I am SO LOW I feel unable to provide that nurture for him. When I beg for that nurture he claims to not have it for me. He doesn’t listen to me, constantly does things I ask him not to, etc. I love him so much. I just feel so hated. I feel like he has never been sorry for things in our past, nor is he sorry about how I feel now, he just wants me to shut up (he doesn’t say that, he doesn’t even yell). More context I do work FT as well as care for our children alongside him. I over extend myself to many friends and am very extroverted so he doesn’t mind me going out a few days a week for an hour or two to relax. In many ways I am SO lucky to have him!!! In others, his words and actions feel so spiteful and resentful. I feel so overwhelmed and like I am giving my all, but have no safe place to fal. I also believe I provide him that same feeling.
Tonight, I drug him out of bed again, I needed him so badly. He was too tired. He ended it with “maybe this is just who you are. Maybe I just don’t love you” then fell asleep. A few minutes later, I woke him quietly after I cried, moved him to th bed where he said “I love you”. And it just hurts.
I feel like I single handedly destroyed my best friend and the love of my life from postpartum anxiety. Please help me get better (I know I need therapy badly I am looking into it immediately) I am so lost. Please help me.
submitted by Etherealmama3 to ToxicRelationships [link] [comments]
I (26, F) live with my partner (28 M) of two and a half years and our Irish twins (19 months and 5 months old) we have a long and complicated history to say the least. (10+ years) A timeline for some context would be that we met young, freshman and juniors in high school; we went to different schools, made up, broke up a few times and always kept a very tight friendship in between young spouts of infidelity and overall teen bs. In my youth I experienced many pregnancy complications, which led to some emotional trauma for me. (More context here; one miscarriage was my partner’s when we were young and I didn’t tell him— it wasn’t right, but a confusing time for me) Through everything we always came back to each other. I lived a rougher life with minimal support, while his parents fawned over him constantly, and always had a higher quality of life. (Not yucky rich people, people who worked hard and wanted their child to enjoy the benefits). His parents loved me and I kept him far away from my family’s mess. That is, until I got pregnant.
My partner and I, let’s call him Drew, were not together at the time I conceived our first child. I told him the truth- he wasn’t my only current partner and that I respected him enough to tell him outright immediately; I told him that I love him, and I would chose him, and would consider and ab*rtion even though it would destroy me. I would do it, to earn trust back, and solidify us together again, as I’ve always wanted. He said he could never let me do that, but the fact that I put that out on the table showed how much I valued him in this time. We slowly worked on us, and welcomed our first healthy baby together! It was so beautiful! He meant my family, I slowly realized again why I kept them away, but I put my best foot fwd to build a strong “family” foundation.
I felt myself treading on eggshells emotionally because I knew he was taking on a lot- id moved in with him and his parents for us to save money and get secure, he worked full time, and prepared fully for a baby he wasn’t sure would be his. (Context: we only found out our first child was his recently through paternity, we did not test @ the hospital as the child arrived premature and emotionally we clung together tho feelings may have been unresolved— Drew secretly got a test recently) I’m sure there was plenty he has not said to me as he worked through his emotions and fell so madly in love with our child so quickly, that everything went to the side. ALTHOUGH we were going out once a week, and were the happiest at this point in my opinion. I had no postpartum issues and things were moving in a positive direction!
We begin to find normal life again when BOOM! Baby #2– this time— Drew was thrilled! Bouncing around ecstatic! This pregnancy was ALSO very healthy! Very good! Both made me very sick, but I managed better than many women who get it far far worse than I did. This is where some conflict arrises. At this point with baby number 2, I want to move out. Asap. Obviously he’s breadwinner but long story short, we move out. We’ve now been here 6 months and things have gotten bad as of recent. My family lives very close by, which has caused some conflict. I start to see “expectations” being let down. With ourfirst child I was SO SAD that he didn’t get me flowers, so I’d assumed (stupid I know) that he would get some for me, and it wouldn’t happen, for example.
I feel like I’ve gotten no postpartum care after our second child. He was “exhausted” in the hospital when I was recovering and not paying much attention to me. When we got home, no real physical affection that didn’t feel sexually driven. I can’t explain it? Like he just didn’t care about me anymore? I tried explaining and felt low key bullied out of everything I was feeling, “that’s not what I meant, I’m sorry” I’d believe it, we move on. At a point it began feeling too disrespectful. Mind you, now I’m only a few weeks PP, still bl*eding from birth and really needing to feel loved, but in a different way? More emotional. I’ve only had my last child 14 months prior before his one was born, my body and brain are traumatized to say the least- at this point. Things escalate.
We get into heated arguments that I begin SCREAMING. He gets disrespectful and dismissive which sends me spiraling, and we go back and forth for a few weeks. I will explain, in detail, what I need, and still won’t get it. Or may receive a snarky remark on why I didn’t get treated the way I asked- after a while of this repeating- I finally snap. I put my hands on him. I disgusted myself. I shook in anger and he laughed in a way I’ve never seen. It terrifies me. It’s happened one other time now, which was worse than the first. This ends up happening as a result of him trying to retreat to sleep, where I feel dismissed, and frankly just gross that he leaves me in tears to sleep, that u stomp into the room and continue the argument. He will say things like “I just can’t do this I am too tired” and “I don’t care I’m too tired to care” and I continue to spiral. I emotionally abuse him when I go in and just cannot let it go, but I cannot sleep from the anxiety of an unresolved issue (especially ones where he is very mean and stomps off to sleep, something in my brain is so abandoned in that moment I almost demand him to love me like he claims he does) it is like my fight or flight like I need him to help me calm down because I love him and want to feel safe with him.
More context; this man has NEVER been mean to me. I believe this is a result of him not being watered/appreciated out loud by me, but always needing to “provide something” for me. The issue is the things he does (a lot) don’t need to be done. But the few small things I NEED done are never ever done (example, a clean bottle for the 6am feed before bed to help me a little) instead I wake up to a sink full of bottles and starving baby. Etc. so because I am SO LOW I feel unable to provide that nurture for him. When I beg for that nurture he claims to not have it for me. He doesn’t listen to me, constantly does things I ask him not to, etc. I love him so much. I just feel so hated. I feel like he has never been sorry for things in our past, nor is he sorry about how I feel now, he just wants me to shut up (he doesn’t say that, he doesn’t even yell). More context I do work FT as well as care for our children alongside him. I over extend myself to many friends and am very extroverted so he doesn’t mind me going out a few days a week for an hour or two to relax. In many ways I am SO lucky to have him!!! In others, his words and actions feel so spiteful and resentful. I feel so overwhelmed and like I am giving my all, but have no safe place to fal. I also believe I provide him that same feeling.
Tonight, I drug him out of bed again, I needed him so badly. He was too tired. He ended it with “maybe this is just who you are. Maybe I just don’t love you” then fell asleep. A few minutes later, I woke him quietly after I cried, moved him to th bed where he said “I love you”. And it just hurts.
I feel like I single handedly destroyed my best friend and the love of my life from postpartum anxiety. Please help me get better (I know I need therapy badly I am looking into it immediately) I am so lost. Please help me.
2024.05.20 08:34 PenisAbsorber2 My mom is in love in covering our whole family in cat piss
BITCHASS HAS 11 STRAY CATS SHE SPENDS 4K (dollars) A MONTH ON, WHINES WE ARE POOR BECAUSE OH WOW MOM 4K IS QUITE FUCKING ALOT DONT YOU THINK, THAT THEN PISS ON EVERYTHING. THEY PISS IN SHOES I THEN PUT MY FEET IT, HELL YEA I CAN JUST FEEL THAT LOVELY CAT PISS GO INBETWEEN MY TOES JUST WHAT I FUCKING WANTED, THEY PISS ON THE FLOOR, THEY PISS ON THE COUCH THAT NOW PERMANENTLY SMELLS LIKE CAT PISS (AND MY MOM STILL SLEEPS ON THIS COUCH), AND THEY PISSED ON A WORK CHAIR MY DAD ONCE SAT IN WITHOUT NOTICING THE CAT PISS IN IT BECAUSE THE CHAIR IS FUCKING BLACK.
BUT THIS TIME THEY REALLY MADE ME LOSE IT. TODAY THE CATS PISSED IN THE ROOF ROOM, AND THE PISS BEGAN LEAKING THROUGH THE GAPS INBETWEEN THE WOOD, AND WHEN I WAS PUTTING ON MY GLASSSES, FUCKING CAT PISS LEAKS AND FALLS STRAIGHT ON MY FACE, AND BY THE TIME I REALIZED WHAT THE FUCK IF THIS WASNT A LEAK OF W A T E R LIKE I SOMETIMES HAVE IN MY ROOM, I FIND MYSELF SMELLING LIKE CAT PISS. I TRIED WASHING IT OFF BUT I STILL SMELL LIKE CAT PISS, I TRIED MY FACE (thats where the cat piss dropped onto) WITH SOAP LATER AT SCHOOL AND I STILL SMELL LIKE CAT PISS, MY BEDROOM IS DEFINITELY GONNA SMELL LIKE CAT PISS AND GUESS WHAT THIS BITCHASS MOTHER DOES? NOTHING, SHE JUST SHRUGS IT OFF AND TELLS ME MY GLASSES DONT SMELL, EVEN THOUGH THEY CLEARLY DO.
"YOURE GOING INSANE OVER A STUPID THING" I'M COVERED IN CAT PISS AND YOU EXPECT ME TO NOT GO MENTAL? ESPESSIALLY WHEN IM SUPOSSED TO GO TO SCHOOL? IM INCREASINGLY GROWING SICK FROM THE SMELL AND YOU EXPECT ME TO ACT LIKE ITS FINE?
THEN SHE HAS THE GAUL TO YELL AT ME WHEN SHE SEES IM PISSED OFF IN PUBLIC. ONE OF THE CLASSMATES HEARD HER YELL AND STARED AT US WERID
SHE IS ACTIVELY PUTTING MY HEALTH AT RISK BY NOT BEING HYGENIC AND HAVING CAT PISS EVERYWHERE. I MEAN IM NO MEANS A HYGENIC PERSON (i often forget to shower due to shit ton of shitty disorders) BUT LIKE FUCK THAT DOESNT MEAN I CANT BE ANGRY AT THIS. THESE ARE WILD CATS, THEY HAVE DISEASES THAT CAN BE TRAMSITTED VIA PISS TOO
"BUT THEYRE HEALTHY, DISEASE FREE AND WORM FREE" MY ASS, YEA SURE YOU WAVED YOUR MAGICAL WAND AND POOF ALL DISEASES GONE RIGHT? WELL EVEN IF THIS IS THE CASE, I CAN STILL CATCH DISEASES FROM THE BACTERIA INSIDE THE PISS, YOU CANT CLEANSE PISS TO BE PURE OTHERWISE WED PISS IN GLASSES WE WOULD DRINK FROM AND EAT SHIT FOR A HOLIDAY DINNER
I AM 18, I CANT MOVE OUT BECAUSE IM FINANCIALLY DEPENDANT ON THEM, WELL MAINLY MY DAD BECAUSE HES THE ONE RIPPING HIS ARMS OFF TO GIVE US BREAD, JUST FOR MY MOM TO SPEND IT ALL ON A BUNCH OF DISEASED WILD FUCKING CATS.
I CANT WAIT FOR ONE DAY TO SMELL CAT PISS FROM MY SNAILS'S TERRARIUM
submitted by PenisAbsorber2 to Vent [link] [comments]
BUT THIS TIME THEY REALLY MADE ME LOSE IT. TODAY THE CATS PISSED IN THE ROOF ROOM, AND THE PISS BEGAN LEAKING THROUGH THE GAPS INBETWEEN THE WOOD, AND WHEN I WAS PUTTING ON MY GLASSSES, FUCKING CAT PISS LEAKS AND FALLS STRAIGHT ON MY FACE, AND BY THE TIME I REALIZED WHAT THE FUCK IF THIS WASNT A LEAK OF W A T E R LIKE I SOMETIMES HAVE IN MY ROOM, I FIND MYSELF SMELLING LIKE CAT PISS. I TRIED WASHING IT OFF BUT I STILL SMELL LIKE CAT PISS, I TRIED MY FACE (thats where the cat piss dropped onto) WITH SOAP LATER AT SCHOOL AND I STILL SMELL LIKE CAT PISS, MY BEDROOM IS DEFINITELY GONNA SMELL LIKE CAT PISS AND GUESS WHAT THIS BITCHASS MOTHER DOES? NOTHING, SHE JUST SHRUGS IT OFF AND TELLS ME MY GLASSES DONT SMELL, EVEN THOUGH THEY CLEARLY DO.
"YOURE GOING INSANE OVER A STUPID THING" I'M COVERED IN CAT PISS AND YOU EXPECT ME TO NOT GO MENTAL? ESPESSIALLY WHEN IM SUPOSSED TO GO TO SCHOOL? IM INCREASINGLY GROWING SICK FROM THE SMELL AND YOU EXPECT ME TO ACT LIKE ITS FINE?
THEN SHE HAS THE GAUL TO YELL AT ME WHEN SHE SEES IM PISSED OFF IN PUBLIC. ONE OF THE CLASSMATES HEARD HER YELL AND STARED AT US WERID
SHE IS ACTIVELY PUTTING MY HEALTH AT RISK BY NOT BEING HYGENIC AND HAVING CAT PISS EVERYWHERE. I MEAN IM NO MEANS A HYGENIC PERSON (i often forget to shower due to shit ton of shitty disorders) BUT LIKE FUCK THAT DOESNT MEAN I CANT BE ANGRY AT THIS. THESE ARE WILD CATS, THEY HAVE DISEASES THAT CAN BE TRAMSITTED VIA PISS TOO
"BUT THEYRE HEALTHY, DISEASE FREE AND WORM FREE" MY ASS, YEA SURE YOU WAVED YOUR MAGICAL WAND AND POOF ALL DISEASES GONE RIGHT? WELL EVEN IF THIS IS THE CASE, I CAN STILL CATCH DISEASES FROM THE BACTERIA INSIDE THE PISS, YOU CANT CLEANSE PISS TO BE PURE OTHERWISE WED PISS IN GLASSES WE WOULD DRINK FROM AND EAT SHIT FOR A HOLIDAY DINNER
I AM 18, I CANT MOVE OUT BECAUSE IM FINANCIALLY DEPENDANT ON THEM, WELL MAINLY MY DAD BECAUSE HES THE ONE RIPPING HIS ARMS OFF TO GIVE US BREAD, JUST FOR MY MOM TO SPEND IT ALL ON A BUNCH OF DISEASED WILD FUCKING CATS.
I CANT WAIT FOR ONE DAY TO SMELL CAT PISS FROM MY SNAILS'S TERRARIUM
2024.05.20 08:34 vaxfarineau I want to drink again.
I’ve been feeling great for a while, and I think that’s the problem. Sometimes I want to go out for drinks, meet people, socialize. I feel like such a weirdo, like, hey I can’t drink because I used to drink too much! And I know my brain is tricking me because I’ve been sober and fine for so long, so why can’t I be fine now? Just have one. Just have a couple.
I think it’s also hard because I can’t be “California sober” and use weed, it makes me anxious. I have a panic/anxiety disorder and I’m on antidepressants, I suspect I have ADHD as well that’s untreated (which I think may be my main problem? I’m bored, no dopamine, lost my job and having trouble finding one,) and I just feel like nothing helps take the edge off of just… life in general. I feel stressed. I don’t feel light, relaxed & at ease like I would if I was a bit buzzed or high. I don’t know, I’m just feeling like an animal trapped in a cage, a lion pacing in a chain link cage in middle America.
Sometimes I feel like I want to go to clubs and dance on tables with people, go on a cruise and party with strangers. I worry I’m not having fun or able to have fun. And that’s the problem, right? Why is drinking the only fun I know how to have? I mean, I do know how to have fun otherwise. I love rollerskating with my best friend, crafting and baking. But I kind of want to be hedonistic and wild. How do you do that sober? I find myself thinking about it more and more every day. I keep having dreams about drinking. I’m always glad I didn’t drink when I wake up, but my brain will not let it go. It’s like the thought is just swirling in my brain, like a storm brewing. Everyone acts like at this time, it should be easy now. You’ve been sober for so long. But nobody seems to really talk about it being difficult past the first few months.
It’s 11:30 pm. I’m not going to drink. But I am going to think about it. And so I came here to write about it.
submitted by vaxfarineau to stopdrinking [link] [comments]
I think it’s also hard because I can’t be “California sober” and use weed, it makes me anxious. I have a panic/anxiety disorder and I’m on antidepressants, I suspect I have ADHD as well that’s untreated (which I think may be my main problem? I’m bored, no dopamine, lost my job and having trouble finding one,) and I just feel like nothing helps take the edge off of just… life in general. I feel stressed. I don’t feel light, relaxed & at ease like I would if I was a bit buzzed or high. I don’t know, I’m just feeling like an animal trapped in a cage, a lion pacing in a chain link cage in middle America.
Sometimes I feel like I want to go to clubs and dance on tables with people, go on a cruise and party with strangers. I worry I’m not having fun or able to have fun. And that’s the problem, right? Why is drinking the only fun I know how to have? I mean, I do know how to have fun otherwise. I love rollerskating with my best friend, crafting and baking. But I kind of want to be hedonistic and wild. How do you do that sober? I find myself thinking about it more and more every day. I keep having dreams about drinking. I’m always glad I didn’t drink when I wake up, but my brain will not let it go. It’s like the thought is just swirling in my brain, like a storm brewing. Everyone acts like at this time, it should be easy now. You’ve been sober for so long. But nobody seems to really talk about it being difficult past the first few months.
It’s 11:30 pm. I’m not going to drink. But I am going to think about it. And so I came here to write about it.