Eggplant purple wedding ideas
"[...] to sleep, to sleep and not to dream."
2024.05.19 22:17 trucknoisettes "[...] to sleep, to sleep and not to dream."
Hello Pureasoiaf :) I'd love to hear anyone's thoughts on this Hamlet reference in Daenerys IX (AGOT) as I know barely anything about Shakespeare, but I think its a fascinating and very informative choice. It's referring to this part of Hamlets famous "To be or not to be" soliloquy where he's contemplating suicide after being tasked with avenging his murdered dad and really severely not feeling up to all that (emphasis mine):
Compare to this, which is almost identical (and as that's one of the most famous lines in the history of literature would definitely have been removed by Martin or his editors if it was in there on accident):
We're given startlingly (and skillfully) very little direct information about her state of mind during and after this, despite it being her POV, and rely mostly on surrounding context: all of those things are horrifying, but also later she gets dragons. But, particularly in light of her likening walking into the fire to an act of consummation itself ("This is a wedding, too, she thought." - Daenerys X, AGOT) I think it's worth remembering that Hamlet stuff, because in that soliloquy the "consummation devoutly to be wish'd" is not marriage, but suicide. And Dany essentially sacrifices who she was, her personhood, to take on the role of Mother of Dragons etc etc. And, in keeping with other self-sacrifices in the books, it does work, when prior to her stream of consciousness in front of the fire she had absolutely no idea how to make dragons. And also, just for fun, brings the dragons birth a lot more in line with other magical occurrences in the books too, as it's self sacrifice that seems to be the key ingredient.
My two cents anyway. I'd love to hear what others think, especially if you're more familiar with Hamlet. Why do you think that "to sleep, to sleep and not to dream" line was used? What meaning is it supposed to convey, and does it affect how you see Dany's journey, or her place in the wider story? Are there any other Hamlet references that you've noticed? Is there anything else in that soliloquy, or the rest of the play, that you think may come up in the future?
submitted by trucknoisettes to pureasoiaf [link] [comments]
'tis a consummation Devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep; To sleep, perchance to dream —ay, there's the rub: For in that sleep of death what dreams may come, When we have shuffled off this mortal coil, Must give us pause—there's the respect That makes calamity of so long life.To give a really butchered translation of these lines as I understand them, Hamlet is saying that death (the "consummation") sounds pretty neat right now, actually. But, using sleep as a metaphor for death, as a Christian he fears "what dreams may come", aka what if he ends up in hell. So he decides not to risk it.
Compare to this, which is almost identical (and as that's one of the most famous lines in the history of literature would definitely have been removed by Martin or his editors if it was in there on accident):
Inside the tent Dany found a cushion, soft silk stuffed with feathers. She clutched it to her breasts as she walked back out to Drogo, to her sun-and-stars. If I look back I am lost. It hurt even to walk, and she wanted to sleep, to sleep and not to dream.This quote closes out the chapter where, after Rhaego's death, Drogo's catatonia and the collapse of the Khalasar, Dany promises to avenge Eroeh, and basically decides that it's her job fix the whole world, seeing as nobody else is going to bloody do it. But then she finds she's unable to revive Drogo using sex, aka the sole power she has been alloted, due to her position as "wife", (i.e. she is confronted with her total powerlessness), and any hope for accomplishing her promise dies with Drogo.
We're given startlingly (and skillfully) very little direct information about her state of mind during and after this, despite it being her POV, and rely mostly on surrounding context: all of those things are horrifying, but also later she gets dragons. But, particularly in light of her likening walking into the fire to an act of consummation itself ("This is a wedding, too, she thought." - Daenerys X, AGOT) I think it's worth remembering that Hamlet stuff, because in that soliloquy the "consummation devoutly to be wish'd" is not marriage, but suicide. And Dany essentially sacrifices who she was, her personhood, to take on the role of Mother of Dragons etc etc. And, in keeping with other self-sacrifices in the books, it does work, when prior to her stream of consciousness in front of the fire she had absolutely no idea how to make dragons. And also, just for fun, brings the dragons birth a lot more in line with other magical occurrences in the books too, as it's self sacrifice that seems to be the key ingredient.
My two cents anyway. I'd love to hear what others think, especially if you're more familiar with Hamlet. Why do you think that "to sleep, to sleep and not to dream" line was used? What meaning is it supposed to convey, and does it affect how you see Dany's journey, or her place in the wider story? Are there any other Hamlet references that you've noticed? Is there anything else in that soliloquy, or the rest of the play, that you think may come up in the future?
2024.05.19 22:15 PadamPadamMyHeart I made the decision to turn my back on two nieces and cutting them out of my life?
I am a 58-year-old male - culturally Greek, raised in Australia, migrated to the U.S. and have lived in NYC for over 20 years now. My parents raised my two older sisters – 9.5 years older with 3 children and 4 years older with two daughters, and myself, the only son and youngest of three, Down Under. I left my family in Australia upon moving to NYC in 2004 with my partner. It was tough leaving them behind because as dysfunctional as we were, we all loved each other.
Unfortunately, in the 8 year lead up to the pandemic – first, I lost my father to colon cancer; 2 years later my beautiful mother to vascular dementia; 2 years after that my 14 year marriage dissolved after my partner admitted he had been having an affair with a work colleague for several months; 1.5 years after that my middle sister and dear friend died from a brain aneurysm; followed by my eldest sister who died of lung cancer the following year.
I fell so ill from stress that I developed severe IBS and had to have emergency surgery. I thought I was going to die. If that wasn’t enough, I hadn’t even healed when I caught COVID; lost my job a few weeks later; and, then I managed to survived a home invasion during which I was assaulted and threatened with a knife but, somehow, I managed to get the two criminals out of my space in 7.5 minutes, without a single item stolen. I’ve been through a lot but I’ve always battled through.
My middle sister had two daughters, M1 aged 40, and M2 aged 38. Until my sister passed away in early 2018, I had a great relationship with M1. I was always there to support as she tended toward “unlucky in love” and was also diagnosed with lupus over a decade ago. Her mother and I were always solid support for her, and she would speak to me about any personal problem.
Her younger sister M2 is a very different character and was I was unable to build as strong a relationship – it was not purposeful nor deliberate. I made attempts and managed to get closer to her after she was married but she always tended to be more distant. As hard as I tried, M1 & I sensed that she somewhat resented my relationship with her older sister.
After my sister passed away suddenly aged only 56, we were all devastated. I flew in from NYC and was in Australia for 9 days for the funeral. I spent 7 of the 9 days with my brother-in-law (BIL) - a good man – and my two nieces M1 & M2. It was an emotionally draining stay, with a relentless stream of visitors to pay their respects.
I spent the other 2 days house-sitting for a dear friend which I gladly accepted to secure some peace and solitude. I slept at least 16-18 hours on each day. Upon returning to my BIL’s home for my final two days, M1 approached me and asked to speak to me outside in their back yard. She proceeded to tell me how very disappointed she was in me; that she felt I was an “absent mourner" and not supporting her in her grief in the way she expected; I was also not grieving "appropriately," and that her mother /my sister would be disappointed.
I had travelled 24 hours, in a blur, halfway across the globe to bury my sister and was now receiving bereavement advice from my niece. I told her to quit with the nonsense and that she should mourn her mother any way she likes, but she is not to tell me how I should conduct myself when I’m grieving.
Her voice quickly escalated, and she proceeded to then scream at the top of her voice about how disgusting I was that I wasn’t “there” to respect her mother; and be there for her. I reminded M1 that her mother, was also my sister and I knew her for a whole lot longer than she did. I also reminded her that staying for 7 of 9 days with her, does not constitute “being absent” in anybody’s language.
It was midnight, she continued to scream, yell, abuse me with neighbors being woken up on all sides. I stood up and decided to leave and not put up with her bullshit any longer. I walked inside and caught her sister, M2, ears to the door, listening to everything … and it made me realize they were bothin on this effort to publicly “dress me down”.
M2 proceeded to "stand with her sister" and yell at me, too. I was seriously flabbergasted by their accusations. My BIL certainly did not feel the same way and he told the girls to explain to him what their problem was!?! If there was a real problem – he should be the first to be complaining about me. Their anger and resentment was shocking, inexplicable and totally unfounded. I flew home to NYC two days later devastated not just at losing my beautiful sister - but at my nieces’ disgraceful performance.
In November 2020, I flew back to Australia to visit family for the holiday season as COVID enveloped the globe. I struggled to feel fully comfortable with my nieces, and one thing is for sure: they never apologized to me for their outburst at me less than two years prior. This time it was the festive season and I decided to stay some of the time at BIL's house. Upon arriving, I was shocked - the house was spotlessly clean, as my sister liked to keep it, and everything in the house was unchanged - everything was in the exact same spot, as the day my sister died. I was concerned, M1 was clearly struggling, not dealing with her mother’s death. Even her father, my BIL had started casually dating another woman, and I threw support behind him which he appreciated. M1, on the other hand, was vehemently against this, and refused to give her father’s new relationship her blessing.
Eventually, the inevitable happened – M1 starts to relay a story that I recognized as my own, and after a few erroneous details, I reminded her of the facts that she was actually deviating from. She literally exploded for not allowing her to relay my story… incorrectly.
Yet again, her screams and anger were so loud, that I actually saw neighbors peering over their fencing. She screamed at me to leave "her house" and that I was the devil. (I need to add here that both nieces became born again Evangelical Christians.) I reminded her that the house belonged to my sister & BIL, and she had no authority over whether I stay or not.
Her screams & verbal attack, (the second one now), was so loud, aggressive, and her enraged face so red, that she looked unhinged. I went to grab a mug to make a coffee and get as far away from her as I could. As my hand reached into the cupboard for a mug, she used the cupboard door to p.a. me I saw stars.I stared at her in shock and said: "You just p.a. your mother's brother," at which she just screamed even louder
My BIL arrived shortly after and I told him that I needed to leave. I gave him the facts and then told him: "She doesn't support your new relationship - not because its "too soon" - but because she's miserable and unhappy… and she begrudges anyone their happiness - it eats away at her." She screamed at him to throw me out until he yelled "Shut up!" at her. She then called us both devils and stormed into her room.
Now, a brief focus on M2. It was summer 2017, and M2 was due in November with her second child. Her husband is American and M2 moved here from Australia and were living in the Midwest. I attempted to build a closeness with her since she was living in the US. During a call to her in July 2017, she invited me for Thanksgiving that year to be with her family, as well as see her mothemy sister and BIL who were spending several weeks there to welcome their new grandchild.
I was so excited. I even told M2 that I would stay at a nearby hotel, so as not to burden them with a newborn at home. A few weeks prior to Thanksgiving, I called to confirm my dates, etc., and without missing a beat, she proceeds to tell me that it is now all too much for her and she retracted her invitation …I was dis-invited. I sat there in silence, in shock.
I had discretely asked my sister several weeks prior, whether she would consider visiting NYC with my BIL, even for a weekend, as they were going to be with M2 for over 6 weeks and were so close!
She said to me, "Do you think we haven't thought of that? We'd love to come to come to NYC and see you. But we'll never hear the end of it from ‘you-know-who’."
So, I spent Thanksgiving on my own, with no family in NYC, less than 1.5 hours flying time away from a warm, festive house that contained M2, her family, my BIL and my dear sister.
Less than 3 months later … my sister was dead. And I never got a chance to see her one last time.
That opportunity was taken from me without so much as an "I'm sorry that I did that to you." In fact, I never received an apology from either M1 nor M2 for all the things they did to me.
When I got back to NYC from the disastrous Aussie trip, M2 refused to communicate with me any further, so I knew M1 had been in her ear about our fallout and likely never even mentioned the p.a. I contacted her and mentioned that minimally, I expected her to at least hear me out.
Her response???
"In my experience, I would describe you the same way my sister would, so I tend to believe her, and my role now is to protect my family."
I replied, "What, so your family is in danger now? From me?!"
She curtly wrote: "I wish to focus on my family, my sister, and the Lord." ...or something to that effect.
I can genuinely, authentically state that I still have no idea why they turned so viciously nasty, so vindictive, and without sounding too dramatic – so evil towards me. I have my other nieces, family, friends to back me up wholeheartedly. It was ironic to me that the two evangelicals ended up being so mean-spirited, and emotionally abusive.
I knew I had to make a big decision, so I sought the counsel of some wonderful loved ones in my inner circle, and their guidance was unanimous: walk away from the toxicity. I knew I had no other choice. I have not spoken to my two nieces for four years now.
I posted this to see if others had similar experiences, and to gather feedback as to whether I *am* the a-hole for cutting my two nieces out of my life. AITA?
submitted by PadamPadamMyHeart to family [link] [comments]
Unfortunately, in the 8 year lead up to the pandemic – first, I lost my father to colon cancer; 2 years later my beautiful mother to vascular dementia; 2 years after that my 14 year marriage dissolved after my partner admitted he had been having an affair with a work colleague for several months; 1.5 years after that my middle sister and dear friend died from a brain aneurysm; followed by my eldest sister who died of lung cancer the following year.
I fell so ill from stress that I developed severe IBS and had to have emergency surgery. I thought I was going to die. If that wasn’t enough, I hadn’t even healed when I caught COVID; lost my job a few weeks later; and, then I managed to survived a home invasion during which I was assaulted and threatened with a knife but, somehow, I managed to get the two criminals out of my space in 7.5 minutes, without a single item stolen. I’ve been through a lot but I’ve always battled through.
My middle sister had two daughters, M1 aged 40, and M2 aged 38. Until my sister passed away in early 2018, I had a great relationship with M1. I was always there to support as she tended toward “unlucky in love” and was also diagnosed with lupus over a decade ago. Her mother and I were always solid support for her, and she would speak to me about any personal problem.
Her younger sister M2 is a very different character and was I was unable to build as strong a relationship – it was not purposeful nor deliberate. I made attempts and managed to get closer to her after she was married but she always tended to be more distant. As hard as I tried, M1 & I sensed that she somewhat resented my relationship with her older sister.
After my sister passed away suddenly aged only 56, we were all devastated. I flew in from NYC and was in Australia for 9 days for the funeral. I spent 7 of the 9 days with my brother-in-law (BIL) - a good man – and my two nieces M1 & M2. It was an emotionally draining stay, with a relentless stream of visitors to pay their respects.
I spent the other 2 days house-sitting for a dear friend which I gladly accepted to secure some peace and solitude. I slept at least 16-18 hours on each day. Upon returning to my BIL’s home for my final two days, M1 approached me and asked to speak to me outside in their back yard. She proceeded to tell me how very disappointed she was in me; that she felt I was an “absent mourner" and not supporting her in her grief in the way she expected; I was also not grieving "appropriately," and that her mother /my sister would be disappointed.
I had travelled 24 hours, in a blur, halfway across the globe to bury my sister and was now receiving bereavement advice from my niece. I told her to quit with the nonsense and that she should mourn her mother any way she likes, but she is not to tell me how I should conduct myself when I’m grieving.
Her voice quickly escalated, and she proceeded to then scream at the top of her voice about how disgusting I was that I wasn’t “there” to respect her mother; and be there for her. I reminded M1 that her mother, was also my sister and I knew her for a whole lot longer than she did. I also reminded her that staying for 7 of 9 days with her, does not constitute “being absent” in anybody’s language.
It was midnight, she continued to scream, yell, abuse me with neighbors being woken up on all sides. I stood up and decided to leave and not put up with her bullshit any longer. I walked inside and caught her sister, M2, ears to the door, listening to everything … and it made me realize they were bothin on this effort to publicly “dress me down”.
M2 proceeded to "stand with her sister" and yell at me, too. I was seriously flabbergasted by their accusations. My BIL certainly did not feel the same way and he told the girls to explain to him what their problem was!?! If there was a real problem – he should be the first to be complaining about me. Their anger and resentment was shocking, inexplicable and totally unfounded. I flew home to NYC two days later devastated not just at losing my beautiful sister - but at my nieces’ disgraceful performance.
In November 2020, I flew back to Australia to visit family for the holiday season as COVID enveloped the globe. I struggled to feel fully comfortable with my nieces, and one thing is for sure: they never apologized to me for their outburst at me less than two years prior. This time it was the festive season and I decided to stay some of the time at BIL's house. Upon arriving, I was shocked - the house was spotlessly clean, as my sister liked to keep it, and everything in the house was unchanged - everything was in the exact same spot, as the day my sister died. I was concerned, M1 was clearly struggling, not dealing with her mother’s death. Even her father, my BIL had started casually dating another woman, and I threw support behind him which he appreciated. M1, on the other hand, was vehemently against this, and refused to give her father’s new relationship her blessing.
Eventually, the inevitable happened – M1 starts to relay a story that I recognized as my own, and after a few erroneous details, I reminded her of the facts that she was actually deviating from. She literally exploded for not allowing her to relay my story… incorrectly.
Yet again, her screams and anger were so loud, that I actually saw neighbors peering over their fencing. She screamed at me to leave "her house" and that I was the devil. (I need to add here that both nieces became born again Evangelical Christians.) I reminded her that the house belonged to my sister & BIL, and she had no authority over whether I stay or not.
Her screams & verbal attack, (the second one now), was so loud, aggressive, and her enraged face so red, that she looked unhinged. I went to grab a mug to make a coffee and get as far away from her as I could. As my hand reached into the cupboard for a mug, she used the cupboard door to p.a. me I saw stars.I stared at her in shock and said: "You just p.a. your mother's brother," at which she just screamed even louder
My BIL arrived shortly after and I told him that I needed to leave. I gave him the facts and then told him: "She doesn't support your new relationship - not because its "too soon" - but because she's miserable and unhappy… and she begrudges anyone their happiness - it eats away at her." She screamed at him to throw me out until he yelled "Shut up!" at her. She then called us both devils and stormed into her room.
Now, a brief focus on M2. It was summer 2017, and M2 was due in November with her second child. Her husband is American and M2 moved here from Australia and were living in the Midwest. I attempted to build a closeness with her since she was living in the US. During a call to her in July 2017, she invited me for Thanksgiving that year to be with her family, as well as see her mothemy sister and BIL who were spending several weeks there to welcome their new grandchild.
I was so excited. I even told M2 that I would stay at a nearby hotel, so as not to burden them with a newborn at home. A few weeks prior to Thanksgiving, I called to confirm my dates, etc., and without missing a beat, she proceeds to tell me that it is now all too much for her and she retracted her invitation …I was dis-invited. I sat there in silence, in shock.
I had discretely asked my sister several weeks prior, whether she would consider visiting NYC with my BIL, even for a weekend, as they were going to be with M2 for over 6 weeks and were so close!
She said to me, "Do you think we haven't thought of that? We'd love to come to come to NYC and see you. But we'll never hear the end of it from ‘you-know-who’."
So, I spent Thanksgiving on my own, with no family in NYC, less than 1.5 hours flying time away from a warm, festive house that contained M2, her family, my BIL and my dear sister.
Less than 3 months later … my sister was dead. And I never got a chance to see her one last time.
That opportunity was taken from me without so much as an "I'm sorry that I did that to you." In fact, I never received an apology from either M1 nor M2 for all the things they did to me.
When I got back to NYC from the disastrous Aussie trip, M2 refused to communicate with me any further, so I knew M1 had been in her ear about our fallout and likely never even mentioned the p.a. I contacted her and mentioned that minimally, I expected her to at least hear me out.
Her response???
"In my experience, I would describe you the same way my sister would, so I tend to believe her, and my role now is to protect my family."
I replied, "What, so your family is in danger now? From me?!"
She curtly wrote: "I wish to focus on my family, my sister, and the Lord." ...or something to that effect.
I can genuinely, authentically state that I still have no idea why they turned so viciously nasty, so vindictive, and without sounding too dramatic – so evil towards me. I have my other nieces, family, friends to back me up wholeheartedly. It was ironic to me that the two evangelicals ended up being so mean-spirited, and emotionally abusive.
I knew I had to make a big decision, so I sought the counsel of some wonderful loved ones in my inner circle, and their guidance was unanimous: walk away from the toxicity. I knew I had no other choice. I have not spoken to my two nieces for four years now.
I posted this to see if others had similar experiences, and to gather feedback as to whether I *am* the a-hole for cutting my two nieces out of my life. AITA?
2024.05.19 22:15 Agreeable_Algae_8869 AITA for not being a more involved bridesmaid and bringing a plus one?
IATA ???? Claire and I have been best friends for almost 7 years. we met in college while both being premed. I was able to get into medical school on my first try while she tried over 3 times without success and works in insurance now. She got engaged to her boyfriend as she was trying to apply to medical school for a 4th time. By then I was ending my second year of medical school and about to start my third year of medical school. Unfortunately, also during this time my then serious live in boyfriend(who was also a medical student) of 2 years died unexpectedly in an accident. I was devastated.
Claire was very supportive at first, but very quickly started to pull away from me and only wanted to talk to me about her wedding. She was always busy when I tried to make plans and was away during my Birthday, and even told me she could not be around me while I was grieving because she needed to keep her life going and plan a wedding and I was making her too sad. She spent this entire year preparing her wedding, I was one of the bridesmaids, and she multiple times showed concern that I was not as involved in the wedding preparations or responding to emails as quickly as she would have liked. One time while drunk during her bachelorette she called me a bitch for not responding to emails quickly, later denying she had any recollection of calling me that. I didn’t mean to not respond quickly It was a combinations of multiple things. Her sister was made of honor and I had a pretty busy 80 hrs per week schedule and could not answer 20 emails per week about approving the menu for the bachelorette dinner or if I preferred shorts versus pants Pijamas, or to choose what colors I wanted to wear. Looking back at it now it would have taken only a few seconds to respond but at the time I was so overwhelmed with school, studying for boards and my own personal grieving that responding to an email about choosing between lilac and violet for the bridesmaids dresses felt like a huge task. I made this clear to her and told her look I can’t be as involved in the planning but I would be happy to go along with anything you want or your sister chooses. Despite all of this I helped her picked her dress and went to multiple appointments with her and also Attended and paid my way to Her bachelorette. Even though I was a broke medical student. All the bridesmaids had a plus one for the wedding. I was planning on bringing my sister but she had a last minute work commitment she couldn’t get out off. Claire told me she preferred if I didn’t bring anyone she knew but didn’t invite to her wedding, but I explained to her that I was actually scared of going to her wedding alone, and at this point we had a lot of mutual friends so my options were limited. And she mostly invited other couples so most of our single friends/acquaintances were off limits. I was still grieving and I was afraid I would burst into tears. I made it clear that I was happy for her wedding but it was also very triggering since we both had started dating our respective partners at the same time and moved in together at the same etc, and while she was getting engaged I had to grieve the death of mine. She accused me of being jealous of her. I tried to explain to her it wasn’t jealousy but grief because attending a wedding was very triggering for me. She gave me the option of not attending her wedding if it was that hard. I told her that I felt I could attend if I could bring a plus one for support. Since she did not want me to bring someone she knew but didn’t invited to the wedding, I brought a very old childhood friend of mine that I had become closer with during the last year. He had reached out when he heard the news of my boyfriend passing away and for the last year had been checking on me regularly. We had always been good friends and he had gotten divorce during the same time so we started to talk often and support each other. He offered to fly in and be my plus one if I didn’t have anyone to come with (he lived across the country at that time) Claire made it clear that she was also not not happy with me having a plus one that she didn’t know and told me that I could bring him as long as I should be aware that I could not cater to my date since I had bridesmaid responsibilities that day. I assure her it would not be a problem.
I missed the rehearsal dinner the prior night because I had a medical school test that afternoon and then had to drive 5 hours to the wedding site I told her about this in advance. Didn’t make it until midnight. I woke up bright and early and went to the bridal suite. Had breakfast and hung out with the other bridesmaids for a bit. I then went back to my room to get ready and shower and this took maybe a couple of hours. When I arrive to the bridal suite she was getting her make up done and was clearly upset, she spent the entire rest of the evening upset and giving me the cold shoulder. I thought it was just nerves. The wedding ended and I headed back home and I texted her to thank her for everything etc. And also to apologize for not being as involved with the planning as I would have liked. She responded by accusing me of being jealous of her for getting married and purposely trying to sabotage her wedding. She accused me of making up a fake medical school exam and arriving to her wedding early but refusing to attend the rehearsal dinner, she also accused me of taking too long to get ready purposefully to avoid her and hanging out with my date way too much instead of the bridal party. She then Told me I used her wedding as an excuse to have a fling instead of focusing on her. And she then told me I had a lot of personal work to do and I have fucked up priorities in life.I tried to explain to her than none of those things happened and I have no idea where is getting all those conclusions , to no avail. She is no longer talking to me and blocked me from all social media. Worth to notice I have tried to reach out and nothing. And I heard from a mutual friend she did not get into medical school again and her now husband prohibit her from trying a fifth time since it was a huge financial strain and he wants to focus on having a family. AITA for not being a more involved bridesmaid and bringing a plus one or is she being unreasonable? I had never had this happened before with a friend. One of my other really close medical school friends is getting married next month and I am also a bridesmaid and I have had none of these issues with her.
submitted by Agreeable_Algae_8869 to AITAH [link] [comments]
Claire was very supportive at first, but very quickly started to pull away from me and only wanted to talk to me about her wedding. She was always busy when I tried to make plans and was away during my Birthday, and even told me she could not be around me while I was grieving because she needed to keep her life going and plan a wedding and I was making her too sad. She spent this entire year preparing her wedding, I was one of the bridesmaids, and she multiple times showed concern that I was not as involved in the wedding preparations or responding to emails as quickly as she would have liked. One time while drunk during her bachelorette she called me a bitch for not responding to emails quickly, later denying she had any recollection of calling me that. I didn’t mean to not respond quickly It was a combinations of multiple things. Her sister was made of honor and I had a pretty busy 80 hrs per week schedule and could not answer 20 emails per week about approving the menu for the bachelorette dinner or if I preferred shorts versus pants Pijamas, or to choose what colors I wanted to wear. Looking back at it now it would have taken only a few seconds to respond but at the time I was so overwhelmed with school, studying for boards and my own personal grieving that responding to an email about choosing between lilac and violet for the bridesmaids dresses felt like a huge task. I made this clear to her and told her look I can’t be as involved in the planning but I would be happy to go along with anything you want or your sister chooses. Despite all of this I helped her picked her dress and went to multiple appointments with her and also Attended and paid my way to Her bachelorette. Even though I was a broke medical student. All the bridesmaids had a plus one for the wedding. I was planning on bringing my sister but she had a last minute work commitment she couldn’t get out off. Claire told me she preferred if I didn’t bring anyone she knew but didn’t invite to her wedding, but I explained to her that I was actually scared of going to her wedding alone, and at this point we had a lot of mutual friends so my options were limited. And she mostly invited other couples so most of our single friends/acquaintances were off limits. I was still grieving and I was afraid I would burst into tears. I made it clear that I was happy for her wedding but it was also very triggering since we both had started dating our respective partners at the same time and moved in together at the same etc, and while she was getting engaged I had to grieve the death of mine. She accused me of being jealous of her. I tried to explain to her it wasn’t jealousy but grief because attending a wedding was very triggering for me. She gave me the option of not attending her wedding if it was that hard. I told her that I felt I could attend if I could bring a plus one for support. Since she did not want me to bring someone she knew but didn’t invited to the wedding, I brought a very old childhood friend of mine that I had become closer with during the last year. He had reached out when he heard the news of my boyfriend passing away and for the last year had been checking on me regularly. We had always been good friends and he had gotten divorce during the same time so we started to talk often and support each other. He offered to fly in and be my plus one if I didn’t have anyone to come with (he lived across the country at that time) Claire made it clear that she was also not not happy with me having a plus one that she didn’t know and told me that I could bring him as long as I should be aware that I could not cater to my date since I had bridesmaid responsibilities that day. I assure her it would not be a problem.
I missed the rehearsal dinner the prior night because I had a medical school test that afternoon and then had to drive 5 hours to the wedding site I told her about this in advance. Didn’t make it until midnight. I woke up bright and early and went to the bridal suite. Had breakfast and hung out with the other bridesmaids for a bit. I then went back to my room to get ready and shower and this took maybe a couple of hours. When I arrive to the bridal suite she was getting her make up done and was clearly upset, she spent the entire rest of the evening upset and giving me the cold shoulder. I thought it was just nerves. The wedding ended and I headed back home and I texted her to thank her for everything etc. And also to apologize for not being as involved with the planning as I would have liked. She responded by accusing me of being jealous of her for getting married and purposely trying to sabotage her wedding. She accused me of making up a fake medical school exam and arriving to her wedding early but refusing to attend the rehearsal dinner, she also accused me of taking too long to get ready purposefully to avoid her and hanging out with my date way too much instead of the bridal party. She then Told me I used her wedding as an excuse to have a fling instead of focusing on her. And she then told me I had a lot of personal work to do and I have fucked up priorities in life.I tried to explain to her than none of those things happened and I have no idea where is getting all those conclusions , to no avail. She is no longer talking to me and blocked me from all social media. Worth to notice I have tried to reach out and nothing. And I heard from a mutual friend she did not get into medical school again and her now husband prohibit her from trying a fifth time since it was a huge financial strain and he wants to focus on having a family. AITA for not being a more involved bridesmaid and bringing a plus one or is she being unreasonable? I had never had this happened before with a friend. One of my other really close medical school friends is getting married next month and I am also a bridesmaid and I have had none of these issues with her.
2024.05.19 22:06 mycatdrowned Tattoo ideas
Hi I’ve played halo for as long as I can remember and my absolute favourite thing about the series is odsts (call me basic but they 🔥), I turned 18 last year and want to get a tattoo dedicated to the game and want some ideas, my current sort of rough idea is an ODST firing into a halo 2 style elite with an smg and have purple blood on the visor etc (I think the thought of that is cool asf) but tell me your ideas and show me your tattos!
submitted by mycatdrowned to halo [link] [comments]
2024.05.19 21:59 shitpostingmusician “Elegant” eyebrow jewelry?
So I’m floating the idea of getting an eyebrow piercing, I’ve always found them to be so hot and badass. I got my nostril pierced and am slowly working on my ears, but these are the most “socially acceptable” piercings. I work as a classical musician for weddings and orchestras so I have to keep in mind any mod I do has to at least appear elegant and low-key when I do gigs or I won’t get hired again. I love the look of an eyebrow piercing but it mostly looks edgy (which I love), but I’ve struggled to find some initial jewelry (since I’ll be wearing it for a while) that can pass as something acceptable for my line of work.
submitted by shitpostingmusician to piercing [link] [comments]
2024.05.19 21:51 cckittycc Rehome US only - Chanel, LV, Cartier, Unbranded Balenciaga
 | Shipping within the US only and payment via Paypal F&F please. Willing to invoice by Paypal G&S with fees if you’re an established Redditor with buyer feedback. submitted by cckittycc to RepladiesDesigner [link] [comments]
6.Unbranded Balenciaga Motorcycle City Bag: $50 shipped (purchased around 2014 from a Korean leather company, was advertised as real leather but seems very dry) More pics: https://imgur.com/a/QFYlC7a |
2024.05.19 21:33 larisa_27 Fujifilm X-A1 and Fujifilm XF 35mm F2 R WR X Mount Is that a good idea?
I'm planning on buying my first ever camera and I'm new in this scene. I was wondering if this is a good idea, camera plus that specific lens? I'm going to a wedding in a few weeks and they don't have a photographer (they don't want one but don't mind me taking photos) so that is the first real use I'm going to need this camera-lens combo. I'm planning to take photos of some social events as I am a content creator and work in culture and PR. And I'm traveling frequently. Those are the reasons I need a camera for, not anything professional, and my budget is 600 euros.
my second option for this camera is 7Artisans 35mm f/0.95 - Fujifilm X Fit lens.
As I'm not really educated about the matter, I would appreciate any help. Thank you :)
submitted by larisa_27 to AskPhotography [link] [comments]
my second option for this camera is 7Artisans 35mm f/0.95 - Fujifilm X Fit lens.
As I'm not really educated about the matter, I would appreciate any help. Thank you :)
2024.05.19 21:31 Voice_of_m AITA for refusing to remarry my husband two years after our ongoing divorce?
Disclaimer: I’m sorry, it’s really long.
My husband (28M) and I (29F) got married in December, a couple of years back. I’d known him since school, and we reconnected on March of the year we got married. Most of the relationship was long distance, since he lives in a different continent, but he did visit me during this time, and we stayed together for a couple of months. It was magical, and we decided to go ahead and get married.
At the time of our wedding, he was on student visa, and had just completed his course. He didn’t have a job, and was applying for jobs then. I didn’t think much of it, since I’d been working for 5 years then. I assumed I could support him till he got a stable job.
Fast forward to the wedding, his parents refused to attend because they had a disagreement with my parents over the dowry. They wanted $49k as dowry, which my parents and I thought was unreasonable. He also agreed, it was indeed unreasonable. But since his parents refused to attend the wedding, he asked if I could also not invite my parents, and if it could be just the two of us at the wedding, because he’d feel awkward as no one was present for him. (it was a court marriage) Although I didn’t like this idea initially, I agreed, because I wanted him to feel happy, as it was supposed to be our day. Then he started negging me to the point, where he chose my wedding dress, down to the Color, hairstyle, cut and everything. I didn’t think much of it, to be fair.
He flies down here, we get married, and he flies back in a week.
I was supposed to travel to the country he was at, on a dependent visa. Due to diplomatic issues between the countries, my visa gets delayed over 8 months. And we didn’t know when I’d get the visa. So, my parents suggested he come here instead, so we could be together, as he did not have a job at the time and could look for one here instead. To which he agreed, but him and mil had “demands” 1. We’re to buy him a car that costs no less than $30k since we need transportation 2. We’re to either buy a house worth $90k of their liking, at his hometown, where neither my parents or I stay, or get that money deposited in a joint account that him and I’d share, so we’d have no difficulties to “settle in”
Although I find it ridiculous, my parents agreed since they couldn’t see the distance taking a toll on us. I start looking for jobs at his hometown and secure one that pays well. It had been 2 months, but he still wouldn’t even book his tickets.
Eventually, I got the visa 10 months after our marriage, and I moved in with him and his parents. It is very awkward, since he doesn’t earn, because of which, his parents have to spend for us. Everyday, he says he’s trying to find a job, but is either playing games on his phone or asleep. I ask him to help me apply for my employment documents, which he refuses to, because he suddenly wants me to be a stay at home wife. Although I worked very hard to build my career, and it breaks my heart, I agree if it’s what makes him happy. But suggest that, I’d work till he finds a job, as I’m not comfortable with his parents spending on us. But I can’t do much, since I need a work permit, and he refuses to give me his credentials to apply for the same. This causes several fights between us.
2 days after I moved in with him, mil and husband start asking about the money and the car, we’d discussed. I told him, it was only if he were to move there, which he did not. This enraged both of them, and they’d constantly call my parents up and fight over it, making me pick sides, and if I backed my parents up, they’d starve me for a day.
Two months later, I get pregnant. Mil, for some reason walks into our bathroom, sees the pregnancy test on the counter, does not say a word to me, and proceeds to call doctors to find out how to get an abortion, in front of me. Since it was illegal in the state we were at, she proceeds to call my parents and tell them we need a $100k for the hospital expenses, at the time of child birth, since I did not have an insurance. Or I could fly back to be with my parents, and he’d come visit the child and I, every year, which I found offensive.
Eventually, when my parents didn’t agree to both of it, they said I need to go home and get an abortion. When I refused, they proceeded to starve me for 3 entire days and my dad booked a ticket and helped me escape the hellhole.
After I got home, they’d constantly call and harass me, saying, don’t get the abortion, just give us the money and we could raise the child together. When we didn’t agree, because we genuinely don’t have that kind of money, and I don’t want to raise a child all by myself, I went ahead with the abortion.
There were complications during the surgery because I was too far along, and hence I was on bed rest for over a month after it. In this time, he calls and demands a divorce, since his mother has found him a “good girl” to marry.
I felt like my world fell apart, and ended up in therapy for feeling suicidal. We eventually, had no choice but agree to a divorce.
As soon as we mentioned alimony, he said he loves me very much and does not want a divorce. He calls my parents and apologises, saying he was blinded by rage, and did not mean it, and that he wants to reconcile. Both him and mil apologise to me, for how they treated me. My parents encourage me to give it another shot, and I agree. However, I want it all in writing that, he’ll never ask my parents for money again, either he’ll come here, or I’d move there, but we get a place of our own and not reside with parents and this is to happen within 6 months. Although he agrees to these terms, he refuses to give it in writing, because it’s “disrespectful”. I do not want to reconcile, because him refusing to do it is sus.
So, I tell him I’d go ahead with the divorce, to which he says, he has no money to give as alimony. When I said that is not my problem, he faked a heart attack, which went away, the moment I asked for medical documentation.
I end up choosing mental peace and say, I want no alimony, and just want to get him out of my life. The minute I say that, he becomes extremely lovey doves and is begging me to remarry him after 2 years of the divorce. I said, ABSOLUTELY NOT.
Now he’s calling all the relatives and mutual friends and painting me an asshole over it. AITA for not wanting to do anything with him and choosing my mental peace over everything?
I apologise again for the super long post.
submitted by Voice_of_m to AITAH [link] [comments]
My husband (28M) and I (29F) got married in December, a couple of years back. I’d known him since school, and we reconnected on March of the year we got married. Most of the relationship was long distance, since he lives in a different continent, but he did visit me during this time, and we stayed together for a couple of months. It was magical, and we decided to go ahead and get married.
At the time of our wedding, he was on student visa, and had just completed his course. He didn’t have a job, and was applying for jobs then. I didn’t think much of it, since I’d been working for 5 years then. I assumed I could support him till he got a stable job.
Fast forward to the wedding, his parents refused to attend because they had a disagreement with my parents over the dowry. They wanted $49k as dowry, which my parents and I thought was unreasonable. He also agreed, it was indeed unreasonable. But since his parents refused to attend the wedding, he asked if I could also not invite my parents, and if it could be just the two of us at the wedding, because he’d feel awkward as no one was present for him. (it was a court marriage) Although I didn’t like this idea initially, I agreed, because I wanted him to feel happy, as it was supposed to be our day. Then he started negging me to the point, where he chose my wedding dress, down to the Color, hairstyle, cut and everything. I didn’t think much of it, to be fair.
He flies down here, we get married, and he flies back in a week.
I was supposed to travel to the country he was at, on a dependent visa. Due to diplomatic issues between the countries, my visa gets delayed over 8 months. And we didn’t know when I’d get the visa. So, my parents suggested he come here instead, so we could be together, as he did not have a job at the time and could look for one here instead. To which he agreed, but him and mil had “demands” 1. We’re to buy him a car that costs no less than $30k since we need transportation 2. We’re to either buy a house worth $90k of their liking, at his hometown, where neither my parents or I stay, or get that money deposited in a joint account that him and I’d share, so we’d have no difficulties to “settle in”
Although I find it ridiculous, my parents agreed since they couldn’t see the distance taking a toll on us. I start looking for jobs at his hometown and secure one that pays well. It had been 2 months, but he still wouldn’t even book his tickets.
Eventually, I got the visa 10 months after our marriage, and I moved in with him and his parents. It is very awkward, since he doesn’t earn, because of which, his parents have to spend for us. Everyday, he says he’s trying to find a job, but is either playing games on his phone or asleep. I ask him to help me apply for my employment documents, which he refuses to, because he suddenly wants me to be a stay at home wife. Although I worked very hard to build my career, and it breaks my heart, I agree if it’s what makes him happy. But suggest that, I’d work till he finds a job, as I’m not comfortable with his parents spending on us. But I can’t do much, since I need a work permit, and he refuses to give me his credentials to apply for the same. This causes several fights between us.
2 days after I moved in with him, mil and husband start asking about the money and the car, we’d discussed. I told him, it was only if he were to move there, which he did not. This enraged both of them, and they’d constantly call my parents up and fight over it, making me pick sides, and if I backed my parents up, they’d starve me for a day.
Two months later, I get pregnant. Mil, for some reason walks into our bathroom, sees the pregnancy test on the counter, does not say a word to me, and proceeds to call doctors to find out how to get an abortion, in front of me. Since it was illegal in the state we were at, she proceeds to call my parents and tell them we need a $100k for the hospital expenses, at the time of child birth, since I did not have an insurance. Or I could fly back to be with my parents, and he’d come visit the child and I, every year, which I found offensive.
Eventually, when my parents didn’t agree to both of it, they said I need to go home and get an abortion. When I refused, they proceeded to starve me for 3 entire days and my dad booked a ticket and helped me escape the hellhole.
After I got home, they’d constantly call and harass me, saying, don’t get the abortion, just give us the money and we could raise the child together. When we didn’t agree, because we genuinely don’t have that kind of money, and I don’t want to raise a child all by myself, I went ahead with the abortion.
There were complications during the surgery because I was too far along, and hence I was on bed rest for over a month after it. In this time, he calls and demands a divorce, since his mother has found him a “good girl” to marry.
I felt like my world fell apart, and ended up in therapy for feeling suicidal. We eventually, had no choice but agree to a divorce.
As soon as we mentioned alimony, he said he loves me very much and does not want a divorce. He calls my parents and apologises, saying he was blinded by rage, and did not mean it, and that he wants to reconcile. Both him and mil apologise to me, for how they treated me. My parents encourage me to give it another shot, and I agree. However, I want it all in writing that, he’ll never ask my parents for money again, either he’ll come here, or I’d move there, but we get a place of our own and not reside with parents and this is to happen within 6 months. Although he agrees to these terms, he refuses to give it in writing, because it’s “disrespectful”. I do not want to reconcile, because him refusing to do it is sus.
So, I tell him I’d go ahead with the divorce, to which he says, he has no money to give as alimony. When I said that is not my problem, he faked a heart attack, which went away, the moment I asked for medical documentation.
I end up choosing mental peace and say, I want no alimony, and just want to get him out of my life. The minute I say that, he becomes extremely lovey doves and is begging me to remarry him after 2 years of the divorce. I said, ABSOLUTELY NOT.
Now he’s calling all the relatives and mutual friends and painting me an asshole over it. AITA for not wanting to do anything with him and choosing my mental peace over everything?
I apologise again for the super long post.
2024.05.19 21:31 Girds1 Lefant M210 Battery Charging issues!
I have owned a Lefant M210 for about 2-3 years now and love it, sadly the battery died and was stuck on 0% with an abnormal charging error. I purchased a replacement battery with the same specs and installed it but now the robot sits on the dock the light comes on that it is charging (slow flash purple) but it is stuck at 0%. I have tried pulling the new battery out and double checking the connecters, making sure everything is seated. Made sure all the contacts are clean and that the dock is powered on and working. I dont want to have to purchase another battery but im running out of ideas as to why it will not charge. Any help would be appreciated thanks!
submitted by Girds1 to roomba [link] [comments]
2024.05.19 21:30 Voice_of_m AITA for telling my husband, I’ll not marry him again, 2 years after our ongoing divorce?
Disclaimer: I’m sorry, it’s really long.
My husband (28M) and I (29F) got married in December, a couple of years back. I’d known him since school, and we reconnected on March of the year we got married. Most of the relationship was long distance, since he lives in a different continent, but he did visit me during this time, and we stayed together for a couple of months. It was magical, and we decided to go ahead and get married.
At the time of our wedding, he was on student visa, and had just completed his course. He didn’t have a job, and was applying for jobs then. I didn’t think much of it, since I’d been working for 5 years then. I assumed I could support him till he got a stable job.
Fast forward to the wedding, his parents refused to attend because they had a disagreement with my parents over the dowry. They wanted $49k as dowry, which my parents and I thought was unreasonable. He also agreed, it was indeed unreasonable. But since his parents refused to attend the wedding, he asked if I could also not invite my parents, and if it could be just the two of us at the wedding, because he’d feel awkward as no one was present for him. (it was a court marriage) Although I didn’t like this idea initially, I agreed, because I wanted him to feel happy, as it was supposed to be our day. Then he started negging me to the point, where he chose my wedding dress, down to the Color, hairstyle, cut and everything. I didn’t think much of it, to be fair.
He flies down here, we get married, and he flies back in a week.
I was supposed to travel to the country he was at, on a dependent visa. Due to diplomatic issues between the countries, my visa gets delayed over 8 months. And we didn’t know when I’d get the visa. So, my parents suggested he come here instead, so we could be together, as he did not have a job at the time and could look for one here instead. To which he agreed, but him and mil had “demands” 1. We’re to buy him a car that costs no less than $30k since we need transportation 2. We’re to either buy a house worth $90k of their liking, at his hometown, where neither my parents or I stay, or get that money deposited in a joint account that him and I’d share, so we’d have no difficulties to “settle in”
Although I find it ridiculous, my parents agreed since they couldn’t see the distance taking a toll on us. I start looking for jobs at his hometown and secure one that pays well. It had been 2 months, but he still wouldn’t even book his tickets.
Eventually, I got the visa 10 months after our marriage, and I moved in with him and his parents. It is very awkward, since he doesn’t earn, because of which, his parents have to spend for us. Everyday, he says he’s trying to find a job, but is either playing games on his phone or asleep. I ask him to help me apply for my employment documents, which he refuses to, because he suddenly wants me to be a stay at home wife. Although I worked very hard to build my career, and it breaks my heart, I agree if it’s what makes him happy. But suggest that, I’d work till he finds a job, as I’m not comfortable with his parents spending on us. But I can’t do much, since I need a work permit, and he refuses to give me his credentials to apply for the same. This causes several fights between us.
2 days after I moved in with him, mil and husband start asking about the money and the car, we’d discussed. I told him, it was only if he were to move there, which he did not. This enraged both of them, and they’d constantly call my parents up and fight over it, making me pick sides, and if I backed my parents up, they’d starve me for a day.
Two months later, I get pregnant. Mil, for some reason walks into our bathroom, sees the pregnancy test on the counter, does not say a word to me, and proceeds to call doctors to find out how to get an abortion, in front of me. Since it was illegal in the state we were at, she proceeds to call my parents and tell them we need a $100k for the hospital expenses, at the time of child birth, since I did not have an insurance. Or I could fly back to be with my parents, and he’d come visit the child and I, every year, which I found offensive.
Eventually, when my parents didn’t agree to both of it, they said I need to go home and get an abortion. When I refused, they proceeded to starve me for 3 entire days and my dad booked a ticket and helped me escape the hellhole.
After I got home, they’d constantly call and harass me, saying, don’t get the abortion, just give us the money and we could raise the child together. When we didn’t agree, because we genuinely don’t have that kind of money, and I don’t want to raise a child all by myself, I went ahead with the abortion.
There were complications during the surgery because I was too far along, and hence I was on bed rest for over a month after it. In this time, he calls and demands a divorce, since his mother has found him a “good girl” to marry.
I felt like my world fell apart, and ended up in therapy for feeling suicidal. We eventually, had no choice but agree to a divorce.
As soon as we mentioned alimony, he said he loves me very much and does not want a divorce. He calls my parents and apologises, saying he was blinded by rage, and did not mean it, and that he wants to reconcile. Both him and mil apologise to me, for how they treated me. My parents encourage me to give it another shot, and I agree. However, I want it all in writing that, he’ll never ask my parents for money again, either he’ll come here, or I’d move there, but we get a place of our own and not reside with parents and this is to happen within 6 months. Although he agrees to these terms, he refuses to give it in writing, because it’s “disrespectful”. I do not want to reconcile, because him refusing to do it is sus.
So, I tell him I’d go ahead with the divorce, to which he says, he has no money to give as alimony. When I said that is not my problem, he faked a heart attack, which went away, the moment I asked for medical documentation.
I end up choosing mental peace and say, I want no alimony, and just want to get him out of my life. The minute I say that, he becomes extremely lovey doves and is begging me to remarry him after 2 years of the divorce. I said, ABSOLUTELY NOT.
Now he’s calling all the relatives and mutual friends and painting me an asshole over it. AITA for not wanting to do anything with him and choosing my mental peace over everything?
I apologise again for the super long post.
submitted by Voice_of_m to CharlotteDobreYouTube [link] [comments]
My husband (28M) and I (29F) got married in December, a couple of years back. I’d known him since school, and we reconnected on March of the year we got married. Most of the relationship was long distance, since he lives in a different continent, but he did visit me during this time, and we stayed together for a couple of months. It was magical, and we decided to go ahead and get married.
At the time of our wedding, he was on student visa, and had just completed his course. He didn’t have a job, and was applying for jobs then. I didn’t think much of it, since I’d been working for 5 years then. I assumed I could support him till he got a stable job.
Fast forward to the wedding, his parents refused to attend because they had a disagreement with my parents over the dowry. They wanted $49k as dowry, which my parents and I thought was unreasonable. He also agreed, it was indeed unreasonable. But since his parents refused to attend the wedding, he asked if I could also not invite my parents, and if it could be just the two of us at the wedding, because he’d feel awkward as no one was present for him. (it was a court marriage) Although I didn’t like this idea initially, I agreed, because I wanted him to feel happy, as it was supposed to be our day. Then he started negging me to the point, where he chose my wedding dress, down to the Color, hairstyle, cut and everything. I didn’t think much of it, to be fair.
He flies down here, we get married, and he flies back in a week.
I was supposed to travel to the country he was at, on a dependent visa. Due to diplomatic issues between the countries, my visa gets delayed over 8 months. And we didn’t know when I’d get the visa. So, my parents suggested he come here instead, so we could be together, as he did not have a job at the time and could look for one here instead. To which he agreed, but him and mil had “demands” 1. We’re to buy him a car that costs no less than $30k since we need transportation 2. We’re to either buy a house worth $90k of their liking, at his hometown, where neither my parents or I stay, or get that money deposited in a joint account that him and I’d share, so we’d have no difficulties to “settle in”
Although I find it ridiculous, my parents agreed since they couldn’t see the distance taking a toll on us. I start looking for jobs at his hometown and secure one that pays well. It had been 2 months, but he still wouldn’t even book his tickets.
Eventually, I got the visa 10 months after our marriage, and I moved in with him and his parents. It is very awkward, since he doesn’t earn, because of which, his parents have to spend for us. Everyday, he says he’s trying to find a job, but is either playing games on his phone or asleep. I ask him to help me apply for my employment documents, which he refuses to, because he suddenly wants me to be a stay at home wife. Although I worked very hard to build my career, and it breaks my heart, I agree if it’s what makes him happy. But suggest that, I’d work till he finds a job, as I’m not comfortable with his parents spending on us. But I can’t do much, since I need a work permit, and he refuses to give me his credentials to apply for the same. This causes several fights between us.
2 days after I moved in with him, mil and husband start asking about the money and the car, we’d discussed. I told him, it was only if he were to move there, which he did not. This enraged both of them, and they’d constantly call my parents up and fight over it, making me pick sides, and if I backed my parents up, they’d starve me for a day.
Two months later, I get pregnant. Mil, for some reason walks into our bathroom, sees the pregnancy test on the counter, does not say a word to me, and proceeds to call doctors to find out how to get an abortion, in front of me. Since it was illegal in the state we were at, she proceeds to call my parents and tell them we need a $100k for the hospital expenses, at the time of child birth, since I did not have an insurance. Or I could fly back to be with my parents, and he’d come visit the child and I, every year, which I found offensive.
Eventually, when my parents didn’t agree to both of it, they said I need to go home and get an abortion. When I refused, they proceeded to starve me for 3 entire days and my dad booked a ticket and helped me escape the hellhole.
After I got home, they’d constantly call and harass me, saying, don’t get the abortion, just give us the money and we could raise the child together. When we didn’t agree, because we genuinely don’t have that kind of money, and I don’t want to raise a child all by myself, I went ahead with the abortion.
There were complications during the surgery because I was too far along, and hence I was on bed rest for over a month after it. In this time, he calls and demands a divorce, since his mother has found him a “good girl” to marry.
I felt like my world fell apart, and ended up in therapy for feeling suicidal. We eventually, had no choice but agree to a divorce.
As soon as we mentioned alimony, he said he loves me very much and does not want a divorce. He calls my parents and apologises, saying he was blinded by rage, and did not mean it, and that he wants to reconcile. Both him and mil apologise to me, for how they treated me. My parents encourage me to give it another shot, and I agree. However, I want it all in writing that, he’ll never ask my parents for money again, either he’ll come here, or I’d move there, but we get a place of our own and not reside with parents and this is to happen within 6 months. Although he agrees to these terms, he refuses to give it in writing, because it’s “disrespectful”. I do not want to reconcile, because him refusing to do it is sus.
So, I tell him I’d go ahead with the divorce, to which he says, he has no money to give as alimony. When I said that is not my problem, he faked a heart attack, which went away, the moment I asked for medical documentation.
I end up choosing mental peace and say, I want no alimony, and just want to get him out of my life. The minute I say that, he becomes extremely lovey doves and is begging me to remarry him after 2 years of the divorce. I said, ABSOLUTELY NOT.
Now he’s calling all the relatives and mutual friends and painting me an asshole over it. AITA for not wanting to do anything with him and choosing my mental peace over everything?
I apologise again for the super long post.
2024.05.19 21:20 MirrorMeddle [Metashape] Round 63 submissions are open!
Submit your deck here:
https://3cardmagic.org/submit-deck
Deadline: Sunday, May 26th at 18:00 UTC.
The new bans are:
You can see the full banlist here:
https://3cardmagic.org/dynamic-banlist
Join us on Discord:
https://discord.gg/4aAsdPk8mh
Congrats to Sea-Kay, for taking first place with Treetop Village + Sunken Citadel + Field of Ruin. Field of Ruin did a lot of work in the finals, and a 9 turn clock is also quite premium these days. I have a particular soft spot for all-land decks, so I really love to see this one doing well!
lpaulsen got second place with Hopeless Nightmare + Tel-Jilad Stylus, congrats! We're continuing to see non-targeted discard do well, perhaps in part because of the presence of Dark Depths, but here it really excelled against the tapped land decks in the finals.
Congrats to aw for getting third place with Volrath's Stronghold + Necrotic Sliver + Orzhov Basilica! Similar to Sea-Kay's deck this round, the land destruction aspect really paid off in the finals.
Lastly, we had zergog coming in fourth place with T1 Gut, True Soul Zealot, congrats! Killing on T4 is state of the art for stompy decks, and this one can also win through Maze of Ith and potential blockers! Also shout out to WillWorkForSugar for submitting essentially the same deck, but landing in a less favorable group.
submitted by MirrorMeddle to threecardblind [link] [comments]
https://3cardmagic.org/submit-deck
Deadline: Sunday, May 26th at 18:00 UTC.
The new bans are:
- Treetop Village
- Hopeless Nightmare
- Volrath's Stronghold
- Gut, True Soul Zealot
- Lotus Bloom
- Luminarch Aspirant
- Boseiju, Who Endures
- Mana Vault
You can see the full banlist here:
https://3cardmagic.org/dynamic-banlist
Join us on Discord:
https://discord.gg/4aAsdPk8mh
Last Round
We banned some good threats last round, but there were still plenty of powerful ones remaining, so this round felt somewhat like business as usual.Congrats to Sea-Kay, for taking first place with Treetop Village + Sunken Citadel + Field of Ruin. Field of Ruin did a lot of work in the finals, and a 9 turn clock is also quite premium these days. I have a particular soft spot for all-land decks, so I really love to see this one doing well!
lpaulsen got second place with Hopeless Nightmare + Tel-Jilad Stylus, congrats! We're continuing to see non-targeted discard do well, perhaps in part because of the presence of Dark Depths, but here it really excelled against the tapped land decks in the finals.
Congrats to aw for getting third place with Volrath's Stronghold + Necrotic Sliver + Orzhov Basilica! Similar to Sea-Kay's deck this round, the land destruction aspect really paid off in the finals.
Lastly, we had zergog coming in fourth place with T1 Gut, True Soul Zealot, congrats! Killing on T4 is state of the art for stompy decks, and this one can also win through Maze of Ith and potential blockers! Also shout out to WillWorkForSugar for submitting essentially the same deck, but landing in a less favorable group.
Next Round
Bans:- Treetop Village: This one didn't see too much play, but occasionally we'd see it alongside Assasin's Trophy and a karoo. If you're looking to do something similar to Sea-Kay's deck this round, Faerie Conclave comes to mind, although it's a full 3 turns slower.
- Hopeless Nightmare: In addition to lpaulsen's deck this round, this will also remove the Bloodhall Ooze deck that also played this card. I don't think that'll change a ton though as you can still play things like Funeral Charm + Cruel Sadist. I believe this is the third card to be banned for combing with Tel-Jilad Stylus. It's cool to see that card having success here, and I'm looking forward to see if any more cards come out of the woodwork for that pairing.
- Volrath's Stronghold: I think this has only been submitted alongside Necrotic Sliver. I'd guess the closest thing we have as a replacement would be Smallpox + shuffle titan, but there's a good number of matchup differences for that deck.
- Gut, True Soul Zealot: T1 threat gets a tad worse. You can still kill on turn 4 with Goblin Rabblemaster, but you won't be beating Magus of the Moon on the draw that way.
- Lotus Bloom: It'll be nice to see non-land-based combo return! Maybe with the Boseiju unban that distinction won't be so meaningful though. You can jam one of these with Show and Tell, or two with your favorite 6 drop threat. I've tried a good number of single-bloom ideas in the past, but they've pretty much all turned out bad. The trouble I think is the useful third cards for such decks spend most of their time on the banlist.
- Luminarch Aspirant: This guy + Soul Partition is another way to beat Lotus Bloom decks. I don't see a super compelling reason to cast this on turn 1, as the land-interacting utility lands have all been banned, but maybe someone will find a way to make that work.
- Boseiju, Who Endures: Very nice flexible land destruction. You could cast it on turn 1 with a Mox and... blinkmoth nexus I guess? There's lots of ways of doing it on turn two, like Sunken Citadel, Hickory Woodlot, or green manland + TSP storage.
- Mana Vault: We already have Crystal Vein + Mana Crypt, so this isn't unlocking a new amount of mana on turn 1. The card that comes to mind for this is Thought-Knot Seer, which in my experience isn't fast enough to work well with Mana Crypt, but can still beat things like 2/2s if you're only taking 1 damage a turn.
Unban Voting
We're voting on whether or not to unban Swarm Shambler and Inkmoth Nexus. Don't forget to vote if you wish to see either card unbanned.2024.05.19 21:15 Nice_Tangerine1368 Getting Married
I got engaged last year and also developed agoraphobia about 7 months prior to my engagement. I’ve put in an immense amount of work and I have been doing a lot better than I was a year ago. I can go places, do things, be in crowds, etc with minimal anxiety but I’m paralyzed planning my wedding.
When I was younger like a lot of girls I had ideas for my wedding and all the things I wanted and now I’m scared. I don’t even want a ceremony because the idea terrifies me. For some reason my panic stems from standing (I broke my leg quite awhile back but it has never really felt “strong” since then).
I almost passed out when I was proposed too, I felt fine in the moment but walking back to the car afterwards I felt like I was going to pass out and started panicking. I’m TERRIFIED of passing out, I don’t know why (maybe the embarrassment of passing out). I cannot fathom passing out or puking or anything on my wedding day.
We’ve talked about just doing the ceremony between us (like at the courthouse) and having a backyard celebration (like a cookout). I’m getting ALOT of negative opinions from my family about this. They think I’m trying to rush the wedding by doing this (we’ve been together for 8 years, I don’t think we’re “rushing” anything and we have been engaged for 8 months). I’m just paralyzed in planning. Whenever we talk about it (my fiance and me) I get anxious. I can’t figure out what to do. I don’t care so much about a wedding anymore than I do a marriage. I love my fiance and just am excited about being married to him, I don’t want it to be a show or big deal for OTHER people but I seem to care a lot about everyone else’s opinions.
Sorry for the long post, I’m just at a loss on how to not feel scared, do what we want to do with confidence, feel secure in my decisions, etc.
submitted by Nice_Tangerine1368 to Agoraphobia [link] [comments]
When I was younger like a lot of girls I had ideas for my wedding and all the things I wanted and now I’m scared. I don’t even want a ceremony because the idea terrifies me. For some reason my panic stems from standing (I broke my leg quite awhile back but it has never really felt “strong” since then).
I almost passed out when I was proposed too, I felt fine in the moment but walking back to the car afterwards I felt like I was going to pass out and started panicking. I’m TERRIFIED of passing out, I don’t know why (maybe the embarrassment of passing out). I cannot fathom passing out or puking or anything on my wedding day.
We’ve talked about just doing the ceremony between us (like at the courthouse) and having a backyard celebration (like a cookout). I’m getting ALOT of negative opinions from my family about this. They think I’m trying to rush the wedding by doing this (we’ve been together for 8 years, I don’t think we’re “rushing” anything and we have been engaged for 8 months). I’m just paralyzed in planning. Whenever we talk about it (my fiance and me) I get anxious. I can’t figure out what to do. I don’t care so much about a wedding anymore than I do a marriage. I love my fiance and just am excited about being married to him, I don’t want it to be a show or big deal for OTHER people but I seem to care a lot about everyone else’s opinions.
Sorry for the long post, I’m just at a loss on how to not feel scared, do what we want to do with confidence, feel secure in my decisions, etc.
2024.05.19 21:12 OopsImAGirlOnReddit I need a prettier shader, and I can't find it, please help!!
I need help, finding good shaders that suit my needs.
I so badly want to find a shader that gives a soft vibrant glow to all the light sources, something that makes everything look pretty at night and would make light sources feel like a bright neon sign lighting up all the stuff around it with its own color. A shader that allows me to look up at Minecraft's night sky and see a visual representation of the idea that Minecraft doesn't have our worlds light pollution. To see the Minecraft galaxy in its most beautiful form with bright vibrant glowing space blues and purples.
I'm not worried about performance issues, I'm confident my pc will run most things. I just can't seem to find a shader pack that gives me this. Until now, I've used Sildur's Extreme Volumetric Lighting, and I like the glow it gives light sources for the most part, but I need something more.
submitted by OopsImAGirlOnReddit to Optifine [link] [comments]
I so badly want to find a shader that gives a soft vibrant glow to all the light sources, something that makes everything look pretty at night and would make light sources feel like a bright neon sign lighting up all the stuff around it with its own color. A shader that allows me to look up at Minecraft's night sky and see a visual representation of the idea that Minecraft doesn't have our worlds light pollution. To see the Minecraft galaxy in its most beautiful form with bright vibrant glowing space blues and purples.
I'm not worried about performance issues, I'm confident my pc will run most things. I just can't seem to find a shader pack that gives me this. Until now, I've used Sildur's Extreme Volumetric Lighting, and I like the glow it gives light sources for the most part, but I need something more.
2024.05.19 21:08 BauskeDestad Had no idea they made a Purple Thunder Zero. Definitely my favorite flavor right now. Gonna go stock up!
 | I knew about Purple Thunder before due to Circle K stores around me, but never saw a Zero version. Found these at Kroger recently and figured I'd try it. I'm hooked, it's so good. Reminds me a bit of Pitch Black, but just a but different. Doubt this'll be a permanent flavor, but I hope it sticks around for a while. submitted by BauskeDestad to mountaindew [link] [comments] |
2024.05.19 21:06 Shicodread_09 [Kuchi ga Saketemo Kimi Ni Wa Even If You Slit My Mouth Kajimoto Akari] Wait a minute...isn't she supposed to be a second year in high-school?!
![[Kuchi ga Saketemo Kimi Ni Wa Even If You Slit My Mouth Kajimoto Akari] Wait a minute...isn't she supposed to be a second year in high-school?!](https://preview.redd.it/3wv5x8kylf1d1.jpeg?width=640&crop=smart&auto=webp&s=356c3f7944c300dc24e7cce06fb8c55cd74718ca "[Kuchi ga Saketemo Kimi Ni Wa Even If You Slit My Mouth Kajimoto Akari] Wait a minute...isn't she supposed to be a second year in high-school?!") | submitted by Shicodread_09 to manga [link] [comments] |
2024.05.19 21:06 Dheeraj_ux Practicing to Improve my UI design created a Wedding website design for the Weddingwires. its a redesign project pls upvote and comment your feedback cause it helps me to improve my skills
 | submitted by Dheeraj_ux to FigmaDesign [link] [comments] |
2024.05.19 21:04 agilecabbage Ideas for a border.
I had a border full of English Lavender and while I have put drainage in, this winter was far too wet and it all died.
The problem I've got is the issues with clay soil in the winter but baked dry (south facing) in the summer.
RHS recommends Astrantia Ruby Wedding or Phlox White Admiral as potential replacements. Any other ideas?
submitted by agilecabbage to GardeningUK [link] [comments]
The problem I've got is the issues with clay soil in the winter but baked dry (south facing) in the summer.
RHS recommends Astrantia Ruby Wedding or Phlox White Admiral as potential replacements. Any other ideas?
2024.05.19 20:58 Available_Koala0220 Are my wife and/or I the asshole(s) for getting married without her parents there and without their approval?
So, very messy and very long situation incoming. I am new to this, never posted before, but I’m going to try and be as all encompassing as possible. I feel there is a lot of context needed to make sure that no one is being misrepresented as I truly want to know if we’re in the wrong.
Essentially, back in April of this year (which feels much further away than it actually is), my wife (26F) and I (29F) got married. I’m American and she’s from another country, we’ve been together for a bit over 3 years and engaged since September 2023. Since we have no way to legally live together at this time, we decided she would come visit me for a few months so we could get a feel for it as much as possible before getting married and officially moving in together.
This was also something we agreed to do to put her parents’ minds at ease. For some more context, when we first started dating, she was not living at home/in her home country. Therefore, this meant when I would visit her, there weren’t any opportunities to meet up with her family (parents and brothers). We attempted offering to do video calls with them or even fly them over for her birthday when we knew I’d be visiting, but they always declined saying they felt calls would be awkward or that they couldn’t take off work to visit (understandable, but we did try to give several months warning and I know they’ve visited my partner there before).
Finally, last year, when my partner was in the process of moving back home, I was able to book a couple weeks off of work and go visit hemeet her family. I was extremely nervous as I’d never met the parents before and I know my own family means a lot to me and I knew then I wanted to marry my then girlfriend, so to me it was basically meeting my in-laws.
Throughout the trip we didn’t talk all that much and they didn’t ask me too many questions, but they seemed perfectly nice and I thought things were going well. Towards the end of the trip, my wife proposed to me and I said yes. This was something we’d been talking about for a while and I was super excited to move forward.
The next day, when she told her folks, they did NOT take it well, even going so far as to say she was confused (about her sexuality). I was not privy to this conversation, so I don’t want to misquote by adding anything else. More context: they knew my wife had purchased a ring and intended to propose. Needless to say, the next few days were ROUGH, but her parents were still pleasant to my face. Her and I ended up going to a different city for the last few days of my trip (which was previously planned) but we were both extremely upset and her guilt-ridden for upsetting her folks.
After that trip, things started to relax a little, bit by bit and we were eventually back to normal. We did all we could (mostly my wife did the leg work as I didn’t want to cross any boundaries) to make her parents feel more comfortable about the plan moving forward, at the time we were considering a fiancée visa since we were, y’know, fiancees lol. She walked them through the timeline and they still weren’t super comfy with it since I’d only met them once (understandable, I think) and we’d not yet lived together. So, we told them we’d have my partner come stay with me for a few months since she wasn’t working and I have an apartment, job, and cats I can’t leave. From what I understand, they liked that idea.
Flash forward to the past few months. She came to stay with me and at the beginning of her 3rd month here we had a consultation with an immigration attorney. In the consultation, the attorney said we’d be better off getting married since nothing was holding us back (like kids, prev. marriages, etc.) as the process is less invasive and we’re working towards marriage anyway. At this point, there were only about 3 or so weeks left in the trip and we had to make a decision as to whether we wanted to wait even longer to start the journey, or get married and start moving forward (this process will take over a year as is).
Ultimately, we decided that we didn’t want to have to keep waiting. We love each other, want to be married, and want to start our lives together. So we did it, we got married! It was a very small ceremony in my brother’s apartment since my step-sister is ordained and we were able to forgo trying to get a date at the courthouse on short notice – meaning we had wifi we could patch people in on Zoom from my wife’s side as well.
Now, here is the issue. Throughout this few week process leading up to the wedding from meeting with the attorney, my partner’s family (parents and brothers) all made it clear they did not approve of the marriage and thought she was “making a mistake”. They also said they wanted to be excited for my partner but just couldn’t be, and asked us to postpone the wedding until later in the year so that they could adjust/come to terms with it/be excited for her. They also made comments about getting married without her family there, which we did feel bad about. We attempted to offer and fly them over (they couldn’t due to work schedules) but we did provide them with the link to the live call. We also made it clear that while we are getting married, we still want to have a larger “wedding” later so that we can celebrate with all our family and friends together (which we intend to have in my partner’s home country). At the wedding, all of her friends signed onto the Zoom and only one of her brothers showed up, not her parents or other brother.
There were several moments leading up to the wedding where we nearly didn’t go through with it because she was so torn up at the fact her family was so upset she was getting married. Trying to help take something off her plate with making a decision, I called it and said maybe we shouldn’t right now. We’ve made it long distance for so long and I would do absolutely anything for her, including wait another 2-3 years before we can realistically be married and live life together. I just didn’t want her to hurt. But ultimately, saying we wouldn’t only made things harder and we kept coming back to it being what we want to do.
Aside from her family, everyone else was super supportive (my family & friends, all of her life long friends). We are happy to be moving forward, no question. Neither of us regret doing it and I’m so happy to finally be married to the love of my life, even as she needs to be on the other side of the world. But as she’s had to return home in the meantime while visas are in process, things have been rough. Her folks haven’t brought up the marriage and when talking to her one brother tonight, he told her everyone has been super upset and not coping well. He explained that her mom was hurt about not being included in the wedding and severely depressed. He also explained her other brother has just been angry. This eventually led to a long conversation with her family. Apparently her parents wanted to join and had intended to but didn't know the exact time or that when the link was sent it was go time. The ceremony literally lasted for two minutes and she said goodbye to everyone on the stream pretty quick because the time difference meant it was late for them. Her brother made it clear that he thought she should have done more like call them or wait until they joined. She was really hurt and the stress was taking a toll in the lead up to the day. She thought they had the information and hadn't wanted to be there. Things remain tense, this literally just happened, but they have said they love her unconditionally and want to move forward but just don't know how.
My wife feels like we could have done more to prevent these feelings being hurt and is dealing with so much guilt. I feel like we did what was right for us and we continuously reassured them that I would still be visiting while we wait for visas to process and that it means a lot to me that we have a good relationship and that they get to know me and my family. I even reached out to her mother via text apologizing about how things were happening, but assuring them that I still want to know them. They didn’t respond. I don’t know, I feel like we just did what was right for us as a couple. Long distance is hard, we want to be together, we love each other and want to be married, and we’re still going to have another larger wedding in the future. But at the same time, I don’t want people to feel excluded or deeply depressed due to our marriage, especially my wife’s family.
Are we the assholes for going through with the marriage right now instead of postponing like they asked?
submitted by Available_Koala0220 to AITAH [link] [comments]
Essentially, back in April of this year (which feels much further away than it actually is), my wife (26F) and I (29F) got married. I’m American and she’s from another country, we’ve been together for a bit over 3 years and engaged since September 2023. Since we have no way to legally live together at this time, we decided she would come visit me for a few months so we could get a feel for it as much as possible before getting married and officially moving in together.
This was also something we agreed to do to put her parents’ minds at ease. For some more context, when we first started dating, she was not living at home/in her home country. Therefore, this meant when I would visit her, there weren’t any opportunities to meet up with her family (parents and brothers). We attempted offering to do video calls with them or even fly them over for her birthday when we knew I’d be visiting, but they always declined saying they felt calls would be awkward or that they couldn’t take off work to visit (understandable, but we did try to give several months warning and I know they’ve visited my partner there before).
Finally, last year, when my partner was in the process of moving back home, I was able to book a couple weeks off of work and go visit hemeet her family. I was extremely nervous as I’d never met the parents before and I know my own family means a lot to me and I knew then I wanted to marry my then girlfriend, so to me it was basically meeting my in-laws.
Throughout the trip we didn’t talk all that much and they didn’t ask me too many questions, but they seemed perfectly nice and I thought things were going well. Towards the end of the trip, my wife proposed to me and I said yes. This was something we’d been talking about for a while and I was super excited to move forward.
The next day, when she told her folks, they did NOT take it well, even going so far as to say she was confused (about her sexuality). I was not privy to this conversation, so I don’t want to misquote by adding anything else. More context: they knew my wife had purchased a ring and intended to propose. Needless to say, the next few days were ROUGH, but her parents were still pleasant to my face. Her and I ended up going to a different city for the last few days of my trip (which was previously planned) but we were both extremely upset and her guilt-ridden for upsetting her folks.
After that trip, things started to relax a little, bit by bit and we were eventually back to normal. We did all we could (mostly my wife did the leg work as I didn’t want to cross any boundaries) to make her parents feel more comfortable about the plan moving forward, at the time we were considering a fiancée visa since we were, y’know, fiancees lol. She walked them through the timeline and they still weren’t super comfy with it since I’d only met them once (understandable, I think) and we’d not yet lived together. So, we told them we’d have my partner come stay with me for a few months since she wasn’t working and I have an apartment, job, and cats I can’t leave. From what I understand, they liked that idea.
Flash forward to the past few months. She came to stay with me and at the beginning of her 3rd month here we had a consultation with an immigration attorney. In the consultation, the attorney said we’d be better off getting married since nothing was holding us back (like kids, prev. marriages, etc.) as the process is less invasive and we’re working towards marriage anyway. At this point, there were only about 3 or so weeks left in the trip and we had to make a decision as to whether we wanted to wait even longer to start the journey, or get married and start moving forward (this process will take over a year as is).
Ultimately, we decided that we didn’t want to have to keep waiting. We love each other, want to be married, and want to start our lives together. So we did it, we got married! It was a very small ceremony in my brother’s apartment since my step-sister is ordained and we were able to forgo trying to get a date at the courthouse on short notice – meaning we had wifi we could patch people in on Zoom from my wife’s side as well.
Now, here is the issue. Throughout this few week process leading up to the wedding from meeting with the attorney, my partner’s family (parents and brothers) all made it clear they did not approve of the marriage and thought she was “making a mistake”. They also said they wanted to be excited for my partner but just couldn’t be, and asked us to postpone the wedding until later in the year so that they could adjust/come to terms with it/be excited for her. They also made comments about getting married without her family there, which we did feel bad about. We attempted to offer and fly them over (they couldn’t due to work schedules) but we did provide them with the link to the live call. We also made it clear that while we are getting married, we still want to have a larger “wedding” later so that we can celebrate with all our family and friends together (which we intend to have in my partner’s home country). At the wedding, all of her friends signed onto the Zoom and only one of her brothers showed up, not her parents or other brother.
There were several moments leading up to the wedding where we nearly didn’t go through with it because she was so torn up at the fact her family was so upset she was getting married. Trying to help take something off her plate with making a decision, I called it and said maybe we shouldn’t right now. We’ve made it long distance for so long and I would do absolutely anything for her, including wait another 2-3 years before we can realistically be married and live life together. I just didn’t want her to hurt. But ultimately, saying we wouldn’t only made things harder and we kept coming back to it being what we want to do.
Aside from her family, everyone else was super supportive (my family & friends, all of her life long friends). We are happy to be moving forward, no question. Neither of us regret doing it and I’m so happy to finally be married to the love of my life, even as she needs to be on the other side of the world. But as she’s had to return home in the meantime while visas are in process, things have been rough. Her folks haven’t brought up the marriage and when talking to her one brother tonight, he told her everyone has been super upset and not coping well. He explained that her mom was hurt about not being included in the wedding and severely depressed. He also explained her other brother has just been angry. This eventually led to a long conversation with her family. Apparently her parents wanted to join and had intended to but didn't know the exact time or that when the link was sent it was go time. The ceremony literally lasted for two minutes and she said goodbye to everyone on the stream pretty quick because the time difference meant it was late for them. Her brother made it clear that he thought she should have done more like call them or wait until they joined. She was really hurt and the stress was taking a toll in the lead up to the day. She thought they had the information and hadn't wanted to be there. Things remain tense, this literally just happened, but they have said they love her unconditionally and want to move forward but just don't know how.
My wife feels like we could have done more to prevent these feelings being hurt and is dealing with so much guilt. I feel like we did what was right for us and we continuously reassured them that I would still be visiting while we wait for visas to process and that it means a lot to me that we have a good relationship and that they get to know me and my family. I even reached out to her mother via text apologizing about how things were happening, but assuring them that I still want to know them. They didn’t respond. I don’t know, I feel like we just did what was right for us as a couple. Long distance is hard, we want to be together, we love each other and want to be married, and we’re still going to have another larger wedding in the future. But at the same time, I don’t want people to feel excluded or deeply depressed due to our marriage, especially my wife’s family.
Are we the assholes for going through with the marriage right now instead of postponing like they asked?
2024.05.19 20:56 Weirderthanweird69 Total drama my way (didn't change much)
Focusing on elims and some relationship highlights.
Gender war
Eva, Bridgette, Heather, Lindsay, Gwen, Leshawna vs Duncan, DJ, Trent, Owen. Eva went to the boys side due to being too manly.
Geoff and Izzy return.
After this, things go same as normal.
submitted by Weirderthanweird69 to Totaldrama [link] [comments]
- Katie
- Sadie
- Noah
- Ezekiel
- Izzy
- Justin
- Geoff
- Cody
- Beth
- Tyler
- Courtney
- Harold
Gender war
Eva, Bridgette, Heather, Lindsay, Gwen, Leshawna vs Duncan, DJ, Trent, Owen. Eva went to the boys side due to being too manly.
Geoff and Izzy return.
After this, things go same as normal.
2024.05.19 20:54 Glittery_M Help, it got eaten
 | I was a baby when VHS was still widely used in home. I’m 25 now and I have absolutely no idea why it got eaten, why it won’t work. I just ruined an old family video. We have a bunch of family coming in within the week for a funeral service and I thought it would be nice to play the old family videos and the wedding anniversary party that happened when everyone was happy and I was just a baby. But I can’t get the player to work. I have it hooked into the TV correctly, I think. I had a video game that I played with brother in 2008 that had the same red white yellow plug things. But yikes SOS (Btw I did get the tape free after playing tug of war.) submitted by Glittery_M to VHS [link] [comments] |
2024.05.19 20:54 Dheeraj_ux Practicing to Improve my UI design created a Wedding website design for the Weddingwires. its a redesign project pls upvote and comment your feedback cause it helps me to improve my skills
 | submitted by Dheeraj_ux to UX_Design [link] [comments] |
2024.05.19 20:52 rbOthree Looking for wedding gift recommendation
Hi all,
I know next to nothing about wine. However, I am getting a wedding gift for someone close to me who I know loves wine. Typically they buy pricier bottles and use a vacuum seal cork to reseal, so as a wedding gift, I'm getting them a coravin.
One idea I had was to give it with a nice(r) bottle of wine that may justify having something like a coravin.
I know they typically drink red wines, and recently they were saying how much they enjoy Marques De Riscal Reserva. So I was thinking maybe a Rioja or something in that family?
Does anyone have any opinions on what may work? Any and all recommendations would be very much appreciated.
submitted by rbOthree to wine [link] [comments]
I know next to nothing about wine. However, I am getting a wedding gift for someone close to me who I know loves wine. Typically they buy pricier bottles and use a vacuum seal cork to reseal, so as a wedding gift, I'm getting them a coravin.
One idea I had was to give it with a nice(r) bottle of wine that may justify having something like a coravin.
I know they typically drink red wines, and recently they were saying how much they enjoy Marques De Riscal Reserva. So I was thinking maybe a Rioja or something in that family?
Does anyone have any opinions on what may work? Any and all recommendations would be very much appreciated.