Easter preschool door

My (ex)fiancé and I had been together for almost 6.5 years, engaged for almost 2.5. Over the last several months, my (ex)fiancé has sat me down to talk about our relationship about once a month. Before these conversations, he would shut down and barely speak to me for several days even when I would ask what was wrong. Then he would finally tell me he was ready to have a conversation and would express his frustrations with the relationship. By the time of our conversations, I would already be on the defensive from his recent behavior. I also generally do not receive feedback well. When he would try to tell me that he was unhappy in our relationship because I didn't compliment him enough, flirt with him enough, or tell him I loved him enough, I would shut down. I was not able to hear what he was really trying to tell me. Instead, I put up a wall and told him to love me for who I am. I basically asked him "If I'm happy in our relationship despite my frustrations, why can't you be?" I now realize that is not an appropriate or healthy response when your partner is trying to communicate with you.
I did try to hear him. I gifted him some lingerie for the first time and let him take a boudoir photo shoot of me wearing it. I started sending a few more cute messages. I tried to make more time to cuddle with him when he would ask. I tried to give him more hugs. I tried to thank him more for picking up around the house. I wrote him a cute letter and surprised him with a few gifts for Easter. However, about a month ago, we had another one of those conversations. Except this time the first things he brought up were 'wondering what else is out there' and talking about how other girls are always complimenting him. Again came the walls and extra defensiveness. I ended up writing him a letter talking about how I didn't know if I could ever be what he wanted me to be and that maybe he should think about calling things off. This was obviously a defense mechanism to try to beat him to the punch line and talk about a self-fulfilling prophecy. Three weeks later he would sit me down and tell me he wanted to know what else was out there again and that he didn't know if he could go through with marrying me. My efforts did not feel like enough for him and I understand why. I was having a hard time connecting my emotions with my actions which made my actions seem reactionary and not genuine or provoked by love.
I have been through a lot more trauma in my life than I realized. My dad was in the Navy while I was growing up. We had to move every three years. A very pivotal point in my life was when we moved when I was in the 6th grade. I lived right next door to my best friend. I was finding my love for math and theater. I also played soccer and was a Girl Scout. When we moved, I became very depressed, though I didn't understand that's what it was at the time. I stopped all of my extracurricular activities. I stopped getting too close to people because I knew I would have to move or they would have to move eventually. I mostly stayed in my room and kept to myself, even from my family. I also have struggled with anxiety for as long as I can remember. Then, in my senior year of high school, I got my first-ever boyfriend. We were in a relationship for over 4 years. In that relationship, I would always be the one to try to talk about our problems. I would be the one who would always want longer hugs and more cuddles. But it was not a healthy relationship. We broke up and got back together many times. I found several illicit texts to other girls on multiple occasions and he would always gaslight me by saying his younger brother stole his phone or I misinterpreted the messages. I think this caused me not to want to show my emotions because it wasn't reciprocated and resulted in heartache. Then, three years ago my younger brother died in a tragic car accident at the age of 17.
When I realized I could lose the love of my life, I realized that he was right about me not being affectionate enough. I had built up walls to protect myself. I thought I had made progress on my anxiety and depression, but I realized I was wrong. I also realized that I have issues with communication, trust, and vulnerability. I was a great partner in other ways and I did express my love in other ways. I moved across the country, coast to coast, with him to a state where I didn't know anyone so that he could attend his dream school. I take care of the household. I get the majority of the groceries. I do all of the cooking. I do all of the maintenance cleaning. I take care of our 2 cats and 1 dog. I say all of those in the present tense because we currently still live together but are sleeping in separate rooms. I also financially supported him by lending him money and letting him pay less of the rent because I made more money. I accept all of him including that he has terrible time management skills, he can have a hard time controlling his emotions at times, and he is disorganized and messy. I also accepted that I would have to wait for marriage and children because of his school and accepted that he did not have a lot of free time between school, work, and his hobbies. I supported his love for his hobbies by accepting his purchasing of expensive equipment even when he owed me money, traveling to watch several events that were important to him, and traveling to see him win an award from his job. I would write heartfelt cards for every holiday. I also bought him dozens of children's books about love that I wanted us to read to our children one day.
When I realized I could lose him, I felt something change inside me. It was like I could feel a hole being blown in the wall I had built up. I felt all my love for him overwhelm me. I couldn't hug him, kiss him, or tell him I love him enough. I tried to talk to him to apologize for my behavior and how badly I'd hurt him. I tried to explain how I felt like a different person and how I really wanted to work hard on improving myself as a partner to make our relationship work. I tried to prove my words with actions. I wrote a list of things I needed to work on including communication and being more affectionate. I also wrote out a list of ways to work on those things and actually started doing the things on the list. Some of the items I had already begun to do like hug and kiss him more and tell him I love him more. I also tried to ask more questions about his interests/hobbies/day. I was more vulnerable and talked with him about my feelings more. I even initiated intimacy, something I had really only done once in a blue moon when I was intoxicated. I also set up my individual therapy sessions.
Despite all of my efforts, over the next two weeks, he continued to say he did not know if he could be with me and wanted to know what else was out there. He was very wavering and said multiple times "I don't know what the right decision is." He said he could not trust that my changes would last and that it was probably too late. I begged him to try couples therapy, but he refused and said "Therapy takes too long" and basically said it wasn't worth the time. He finally broke up with me after 2 weeks of going back and forth and I was devastated. He later talked to a mutual friend of ours and changed his mind about therapy. I was so happy to hear that he had changed his mind. However, now I feel like I can't even trust him anymore. He's turning into a person I don't recognize and I don't know what he's capable of anymore. I don't know if the man I love still exists. When he told me he was now agreeable to try therapy he said "We're still broken up, but I won't talk to any other girls." and then promptly said "And it will give me more time to find a place to live if things don't work out." He deleted several Instagram posts that had photos of me after he agreed to try therapy which makes me think he's not actually that open to healing our relationship. He complained to me about how he might have to take out student loans after I told him he needed to pay me for half of the rent while we're broken up and not decreased rate he had been paying me. He also "checked on me" on the night of the 3rd year anniversary of my brother's death when he heard me crying. Then he just sat on the end of the bed scrolling his phone while I cried as if he was checking on me because he felt like he had to and not because he wanted to. When I asked him if he had some sort of deadline in mind for the therapy, because he had previously mentioned that it takes too long, he said July or August and I have a suspicion that is because a girl he likes is leaving for summer break but will be back at the end of August for the next semester.
I just feel like the way he has been acting is not how you act towards someone you were in a relationship with for almost 6.5 years. Especially after saying you still love them and have no negative feelings towards them. That means even though you don't think you are a good relationship match, you should still want to treat them with respect. You should care that they are hurting during this time. You should want to comfort them in their grief of a separate event. You should mean it if you say you want to try therapy.
TL; DR : Do you think therapy will help?

Has anyone taken their puppy camping (in an RV so maybe “glamping”)? Any tips? We are renting a camper and going with a big group of our friends for the weekend next month (we have our own camper, myself, SO and two kids). We paid the pet fee for the camper (cheaper than boarding her). Mostly I’m worried about sleeping. Usually she sleeps right outside our bedroom door at home. I’m trying to expect the worst that she won’t sleep well and it will be rough in the new environment. I do want to take her for socialization, and I want her to be part of our family but I just realized this is happening in like 3 weeks and now I’m feeling nervous 😬 She will be done with “puppy preschool” and halfway through her AKC STAR puppy class by the time of our trip.
Any advice is helpful! I am aware I may not be able to do the group activities (beach, pool, etc) with her and am trying to formulate a backup plan for if I decide it will hinder my trip enjoyment to take her.

My sister seems like the worst person in the world to me and I need some outside opinions on this. Right now, I'm a minor in middle school, I would not like to specify my age, and the sister mentioned in the title is 24. My oldest sister is currently 26. I'll call the sister I really hate Sarah (24), and the other one that I really love Katie (26). As more context, Katie works a great job in a big city, she's super independent, and she treats the family to lots of nice things. Sarah lives at home and freeloads off my parents. Sarah has diagnosed ADHD, depression, OCD, anxiety, and probably more that I don't know about. I understand that when she was little my parents had very different parenting styles and I know that lots of things traumatized her mostly parents and teachers. The thing is, ever since I was little, she's been the one traumatizing me. I remember very clearly there was this one time where she had locked me in her room again (she did this multiple times a week to me) so she could yell at me about things I didn't understand. I was probably between the ages of 3-5 at that time. I remember that one specific time I was crying really really hard and as a child if I cried too hard I would have this feeling like I would need to puke. This specific time I remember my mom was banging on my sisters door to tell her to let me out, and I remember thinking if I could just throw up on her bed them she could definitely let me out, so I forced myself to cry harder until I threw up, and she let me out. Even after that, she would still always shut me in a room with her, and since my parents told her that she wasn't allowed to lock the door with only me and her inside a room, she would just hold the door shut and I couldn't open it because she was 10+ years older than me. Even today I hate being in the same room as her alone even with the door open for that reason. From when I was in preschool to probably 2nd grade in elementary school, she would always argue super loudly with my parents, specifically my dad, and she would always scream at him to divorce my mom and I just remember it was really scary. In recent years, her depression has been bad, so I've been trying to help out. When she needs food to be cooked, I cook for her, and when she moved back to our house from her apartment, she didn't do any work and it was just me my parents and my oldest sister moving her stuff for her. This is important because of an argument we had today. My mom was helping me clean out my room because my cat had been sick so we decided to deep clean my room to have a better environment for her, and while my mom was wiping stuff down, I was fixing a waterbottle, which was a task I had put off for months. She walked to me, told me to help my mom, and then got mad at me when I told her I wanted to finish fixing my water bottle first. For context for the next part, she always yells at me about things I do wrong and how I'm so entitled all the time. I understand that the way I'm raised is very different than the way she was because my parents have changed a lot in 10 years. I hate it when she yells at me, I can't even defend myself or say anything back, and if I ever say something mean to her she can't take it because she's struggling with mental health and it impacts her so badly. I don't get it, she always tells me to tell her what she can fix, and when I do, I admit I say those things at not the best times like during argument and stuff, she gets so pressed about what I say. Apparently its ok for her to insult every family member, but they can't say anything back to her. (mostly me and my dad, she always yells at him about how my mom always does all the work around the house, which is mostly true, but I also see him putting in an effort to take on chores. He does work until 6-8pm every day, but my mom is almost the only one taking care of me. My sister acts so proud of herself when she drives me to class, which I'm grateful for, but then she insults my dad for not doing it. As a literal freeloader, I don't get why she thinks she gets to insult him so so much. I am a feminist, I get what she's saying, but my dad is far from the horrible man she probably sees him as.) I've been struggling with suicide ideation for around 4 years, I've always hated school because it kills my creativity and it makes my life feel like a never ending cycle, and I always use home as my safe space. Sarah ruins the safe space and makes me unable to enjoy my own home. She is a huge part of why I literally don't want to live. The argument today escalated because when she called me entitled and lazy for not helping my mom with cleaning my room, which I did previously, I had just stopped to fix my water bottle when she had started talking at me, and so I said she can't speak on that because when she was moving back to our house everyone in the family helped move furniture except for her. She got so angry, told me that I was throwing her depressive episode in her face, and told me I was demonizing her mental health. I understand that depression is hard to handle, I've had two friends go to both hospitals and recovery places for depression and attempts. I completely understand that depression stops you from doing things, but I don't think that those things should just be ignored either. It's ok for her to not be able to move her own things because of depression, but I don't think its ok for her to preach about it to me and call me a horrible person when I bring it up. I'm not blaming her for having depression, I'm just calling her out for being a hypocrite. Another problem I have with her is that she's always trying to parent me. When I was little, whenever she was crying and sobbing and screaming I always brought her water and tissue paper, but she did nothing for me. I remember Katie always taking care of me when my parents were to busy with Sarah. I love Katie so so much, she does so much for me, she inspires me so much, and whenever she raises her voice at me it's because I'm in danger and whenever she lectures me its because I actually did something wrong. I always listen to Katie because I always feel like she's qualified to tell me things, because she's a great person and I know she will never tell me to do something that she herself cannot do. I don't think Sarah is qualified to take care of me. I hate how she tries to act like a big sister to me when I'm literally ashamed to have the same last name as her. I don't know what to do, I can't get away from Sarah because she still lives in my parent's house, has no job, and has not shown any sign of a plan for her future. Please help, I just want to stop letting my life be this impacted by her.

Our 3.5 year old said she wanted to try ballet so we signed her up for a 3-4 program at the Y. She was really excited to start, we got her a special ballet outfit and everything.
Its not a mommy and me class but parents sit right outside of the room in front of a big glass window and the door is open. She has been going to a preschool program for over a year and has no problem separating there so I didn’t think a dance class where I was 10 feet away and visible would be a problem…
Well its been a disaster so far. The first class there was a lot of crying and she wouldn’t go in the room without me there and then just clung to me. Second and third classes my husband took her thinking she would separate easier from him but she still won’t go in the room and gets very distressed. He’s tried standing at the open doorway so there wouldn’t be a physical barrier between them but she won’t cross the threshold.
Theres 5 classes left. My husband thinks we should keep taking her even if she never goes in and finish out the semester. I think we should drop the class because its causing tension and stress in the family, plus I don’t want her to think it’s okay to sign up for an activity but only watch from the sidelines and not participate. I worry if we get the whole way through without her stepping inside she’ll think thats okay to do again in the future.
I know kindergarten is still a year away for her but I feel like this is not a good sign for how that transition will go and I feel like we have to set her up for success by practicing separation in new environments so I feel pressured to “get it right” here.

During Christmas every year my wife’s side of the family hosts a big family dinner. Her side is very big and there house really isn’t the biggest. Every year my kids have to sit on the floor, the couch, or in a bed in a room. There’s never opened seats at the table for them. During the Christmas dinner, my kids were complaining that the cats that they own were coming up to them while they were eating. My daughter is allergic when in contact with cats so my wife asked if it was okay if she shut the door while they ate in the bedroom. Her mom got mad and said No and that she would be fine. About 2 minutes later 2 of my kids came to me with their plates and both of them had cat hair in the plates. My daughter was freaked out as she has apparently aten it but realized while chewing it was there. I told my wife’s family if there was not enough spots at the table then we were not gonna come for family dinners like this one unless it was summer and my kids could eat outside. We then left and went home. We didn’t go back for easter, but when the first summer family gathering came around we got a text in the family group chat about it. We headed out there and when we walked in we got hit with a ton of rude comments and remarks. They then proceeded to tell us to leave or they would call the cops. This was about 4 days ago and we left right after they made that statement. My daughters are upset they couldn’t see there cousins. But I have been wondering, AITAH for leaving during the middle of Christmas dinner?

I am not the OOP. The OOP is u/SRBias posting in relationship_advice
Ongoing as per OOP
1 update - Long
Original - 10th May 2024
Update - 13th May 2024
​
I (50 M) just learned my spouse (47 F) was unfaithful years ago in marriage. She came clean from guilt. Where do I go from here?
​
This will be quite a lengthy read because I'm laying out everything to get honest opinions with all the context. There's a TLDR at the end for those who'd rather skip the backstory. I know that most people go incognito with a throwaway account for this kind of post. But I wanted this to be authentic, using my real account. I didn't want anyone to think this was disingenuous. If we know each other in real life or you find me on my other socials, let's keep our chats here or in PMs. I don't want anyone harassing anybody, and I have a sixteen-year-old daughter who has been spared this drama so far.
I tied the knot shortly after high school, and let's just say, if my marriage were a collegiate course, it would be "F*** Up - 101." It was a masterclass in what not to do, featuring every red flag in the book. I was fresh-faced and barely off on my life journey, thinking I'd hit the jackpot. I'd assumed I'd accomplished what my parents did, that being the poster couple for marital bliss. I was so naive, always giving the benefit of the doubt. Meanwhile, my then-wife, fresh from escaping her parental fortress of solitude, went bat s*** crazy, deciding that 'living life to the fullest' didn't include me in the picture.
Before I knew it, I was Mr. Mom with our toddler while she was trapped underneath a few individuals, making up for lost time. After finally catching her in the act, I filed for a divorce and braced for the impact. Divorcing in '97 in the heart of the bible belt was not favorable towards the husband back then. What followed was straight out of a horror movie. I paid my attorney five thousand dollars to watch her take everything from my guitars and video games. She even claimed keepsakes from a departed relative, and the judge seemed happy to grant her every wish. Not only did I bid farewell to everything I owned, but my time with my son got slashed to a mere Wednesday afternoon and alternating weekends.
My faith in women was broken. I went on a few dates here and there but mostly kept it to casual encounters and dinners. I never let anyone get too close. But, in early 1999, at a friend's birthday party, I met a woman whose marriage had crashed harder than mine. She'd had a stillbirth six months into her pregnancy, and her husband dared to bring his girlfriend to the funeral. She was heartbroken, to say the least, to learn about her husband's affair and the end of her marriage on the day they laid her daughter to rest. We sat on a couch that night, swapping tales of romantic ruin. She was clever, and to me, that is an instant connection. It's rare for me to find someone who makes me laugh instead of vice versa. As I headed home, I couldn't shake her from my thoughts, kicking myself for not asking for her number.
The next, my phone rang, and it was her! She'd gotten my phone number from someone we both knew and asked: "Would you like to get food sometime?" I said, "Now sounds great!" So, I drove to her grandmother's house, and off we went on what turned out to be what I still consider the perfect date. Now, I get it; we were both lonely and had our hearts broken, but trust me, this was no spark; it was an inferno. And believe it or not, we've been inseparable since that day. We have not spent a night apart. That was twenty-five years ago, with us marrying a year after our meeting. Go ahead and facepalm, I know how it sounds, but it's hard to put the connection between us into words. Even I'm still shaking my head in disbelief.
Our families adored the two of us together. I was certain I had found my soulmate, if you believe in that, and I was certain she felt the same. We enjoyed each other's company, and our lives meshed perfectly. As with life, however, it finds those moments of bliss to take a giant s*** on you. In 2006, I began feeling ill; eating resulted in violent illness, which I initially thought was a virus. But after a week with no improvement, it was clear this was something else. I was admitted to the local hospital and underwent numerous tests. When I was first admitted, I weighed 222 pounds at a height of 6'2". Within a year, I had dropped to 146 pounds, and my condition dumbfounded the doctors. My health was deteriorating rapidly. Throughout the ordeal, she never left my side, her hand in mine, begging me not to leave her.
In late 2007, a last-ditch effort sent me to the Cleveland Clinic, where a young doctor rushed me into surgery. When I awoke three hours later, she was there, hand in mine, with a smile. It was a success; I was cured. While I'll spare you the details, it involved my colon. Finally, I could eat and move without agony. My life resumed, and we were happy again. The following year, she received a lucrative job offer in her field, earning more than I did. That didn't bother me at all; she worked hard, and she'd earned it.
After her miscarriage, my wife was unable to conceive. We had been trying since 2000 and eventually came to terms with the fact that it might not happen. In 2010, we got a call from the state of Minnesota about a two-year-old girl who had been taken from her mother due to drug-related charges. They asked if we would consider adopting her because the mother had requested she be placed with family members before her parental rights were terminated. My wife and I drove for 30 hours to meet her, and after a few months, we adopted her and welcomed her into our home.
Our daughter faced social challenges and had endured abuse, leading the two of us to decide one of us needed to be at home with her. As mentioned, my wife earned significantly more, so it made sense for me to be the one to step into the role. I dedicated each day to supporting our daughter's mental health. While I played a part, I can't claim all the credit for this; her preschool, kindergarten, and therapist were instrumental in her learning to socialize and trust again. Eventually, I took up freelance journalism, so I was home when our little one finished her school day.
Our evenings were family time, and we took small trips on weekends. It was in 2017 that my wife returned from work one evening, deeply shaken by what she told me was a workplace argument. Despite my attempts to console her, she remained incorrigible. She was declaring her intent to find a new job. She'd never had any issues before, so I was stunned. For days, she was a mess and withdrawn. When I pressed for details, she'd say, "It would only upset you. Let me deal with it."
True to her word, she left for a new company within a week, accepting a 15 percent reduction in pay. I should have questioned it then, but she never gave me cause for concern. Once she began her new role, life returned to normal, and our family happily moved forward. In 2022, I published my first novel with an independent publisher, fulfilling a lifelong dream. I could sense the pride emanating from both my wife and daughter. I had achieved this milestone before my fiftieth birthday, and I couldn't wait to start on my second one.
And now, ladies and gentlemen, this is where my world breaks. In 2023, as I was finishing up my new novel, my twenty-seven-year-old son from my first marriage died suddenly of a heart attack. He had an underlying condition that none of us knew about. I want everyone to understand that when you say, "I couldn't imagine my child dying," you truly can't. There is no pain quite like it. My wife and daughter, who also felt his loss deeply, did their best to support me. But there is no way to deal with such a tragedy. In the months following his death, I immersed myself in my work, striving to complete my second book for him.
On the day I finished it in January, my father passed away after a long battle. Dad had been ill for a long time. You think you can prepare yourself for that, but that's a lie you tell yourself. The loss was hard, and my daughter was instrumental in getting me back on my feet. My second book was released in February, and I tried to smile as I had my release party. At the beginning of April, I started feeling better, writing outlines for my third novel and doing the same things I'd always done with my wife and daughter.
My wife and I have a Wednesday tradition where she picks a random recipe she finds online, and we cook it together. On April 3rd, while making crockpot chicken tacos, I thanked her for everything. She asked why, and I thanked her for everything she'd done to get me through the tough times. I shared a lot of pent-up emotions, telling her I couldn't have managed without her. She started crying, then weeping, and soon she was sobbing uncontrollably. I tried to comfort her with a hug, but she pushed me away. I apologized, not realizing my words would stir such a reaction.
Suddenly, she confesses her infidelity. I laughed, mistaking it for a joke. She grabs my shoulders and then details how, back in 2017, a 28-year-old at her former job started flirting with her, and she reciprocated. She believed it was innocent, yet it persisted. My wife has always feared growing old. Her birthdays were days she dreaded every year. She admitted that the attention from a younger man was exhilarating. She told me that turning 40 had sent her into a tailspin and that she couldn't talk to me about it because I would have just shrugged it off.
He invited her to leave work early and come to his place one day. She couldn't understand why she chose to; maybe it was the thrill. She said she didn't know, but she went and ended up sleeping with him. Afterward, she felt terrible, glaring at her keychain in his driveway because it had a photo of me holding our daughter. She drove home, and that's when she lied about having a workplace argument. She never wanted to return there. It's why she suddenly went somewhere else. She then told me she wanted to tell me but didn't have the fortitude to do it.
I remained silent, just wide-eyed and open-mouthed. She apologized, saying she couldn't live with it any longer. I just shook my head, unable to speak a single word. She offered to leave if that's what I wanted, to attend counseling, or even to beg for my forgiveness. Instead, I picked up my AirPods and phone and walked out. I wandered from six in the evening until almost eleven that night. When I returned, she was on the loveseat, asking if I was ready to talk. I shook my head again, went to my office, where I had a couch, and slept there.
The next day, after our daughter left for school, she asked if I had anything to say. I said yes. I questioned why she brought this up after the worst year of my life. Why couldn't she have kept it to herself until I could somewhat deal with something of this magnitude? She just looked away. I scoffed and told her to go to work and to try not to f*** anyone during her lunch break. That would have been April 4th; those were the last words I said to her until last night.
She had attempted to talk to me several times, but I would just walk past her into my office, trying to focus on my upcoming science fiction comedy book. Writing something funny is challenging when the thought of your spouse rolling around with another man stuck in her consumes your thoughts. A week ago, my daughter asked in the car if everything was okay, and I lied to her, which made me feel sick. Then, last night, my wife came to the office door and asked, "Are we getting a divorce?" I looked at her and replied, "Looks like it." She started crying and closed the door.
I haven't consulted an attorney, and the thought of divorce hadn't crossed my mind until she mentioned it. That's why I wrote this essay. Where do I go from here? How do I start to untangle this mess? I have no desire for therapy. I don't even want to step outside. I'm broken at this moment. The burden of everything has been overwhelming. There's been so much to bear this past year. What do you say to someone who has been by your side through it all, only to tear your heart apart?
Thank you for reading to the end. And for those who are part of the TLDR crowd, my wife decided to go home with a younger man, felt guilty about it, and quit her job. She waited eight years to tell me about it.
​
Comments
​
Foreign_Flight4566
Jesus, man. I’m sorry for your loss(es). Timing of your wife’s confession is mind-boggling. Realistically, this is above Reddit’s pay grade. I’ll recommend therapy, but probably above a therapist’s pay grade too. I know you also state you don’t want therapy, but that sounds like the exact time you need it. They can offer grief support, which is what you’ll need as you tease out emotions from losing loved ones and a very nasty betrayal. I hope you find happiness in whatever you decide.

OOP: I contemplated several different subs and I have no idea why I chose this one. I should have clarified above that after my son died, local hospice house around here has grief counseling, which I used extensively. I don't want to do couple's counseling is what I should have said. My apologies. I posted this to try and get outside perspectives from people, and maybe give me a different angle to look at this.

​
cakivalue
Not couples counseling but individual therapy for you. You need the support right now after all you've been through and an unbiased third party to support you through the pain and demise of your marriage, next steps and co-parenting.
My unprofessional angle here is that this is most likely over. Had she come clean in 2017 you would have been able to make a choice regarding forgiveness, couples therapy etc. she held on to this secret for seven years and then dumped it on you at the worst time in order to ease her own guilty feelings. Especially knowing that you had both been hurt in this exact way in the past is especially jaw dropping that she did all of this.
​
Magnum_tv
Fuck man! This is...just fuck...
Firstly, I'm so sorry for your losses. I extend my sincere condolences.
You need grief counseling. This would help you put things in perspective. At least you'll be able to eventually make decisions based on logic than just pure emotion.
Secondly, your spouse. She not only betrayed you, she lied to you for eight years. EIGHT YEARS! That's fucking scary, because now you're gonna be wondering what else she can be hiding.
Now I'm an asshole, I'd be out of that marriage tomorrow. You however, have truly built a life with her. If, and I mean a big fucking IF, she's regretful, you should divorce, it would be less stress in your life having to be her warden. Because the trust is gone.
If, she's remorseful, you could try to work it out. But she needs to put in the work. Not you, HER. Because she's the one who fucked up.
Remember, regret and remorse are two completely different things.
I'd recommend you still talk to a lawyer before making a final decision. The more informed you are, the better choice you'll be able to make.
I'm truly sorry you're dealing with this, best of luck brother.

OOP: Thank you so much. This is another thing in the back of my mind what else has she been dishonest about?

​
​
Update - 3 days later
​
UPDATE - After spending Saturday morning formulating and reading the staggering number of comments, I've made my decision. Some said my issue was far beyond the Reddit pay grade – they were mistaken. I deliberately avoided turning to family and friends, seeking a view from an outside perspective, and I think it worked. My gratitude goes out to all who sent private messages and responded; your thoughts on the matter helped me come to my conclusion.
On Saturday evening, I approached my wife to apologize for the silent treatment, I told her I wasn't attempting to punish her and acknowledged that it was childish. I told her if I would have opened my mouth, I would have been overly harsh and ruined any opportunity of a civil conversation. I promised we'd discuss it the next day.
On Sunday evening, I let it all out; I didn't cry, or raise my voice. I asked the man's name, which she provided. I asked her if the man was married when she betrayed us, and she confirmed he was. That hit me hard, because she knew he was also with someone. I asked if he was still married. She told me she had no clue, she hadn't seen him since the day she left for her new job. I told her I hoped they were, because I was going to make sure she knew. If my life had to be ripped apart, so would his. I thought that would get a rise out of her, it didn't. She just nodded.
I expressed my doubts about the affair being an isolated event, echoing the comments of several others. She maintained it was a one-off and was the sole reason she left her job. I explained that after eight years of this lie, it's natural for me to question anything she said. I then made it clear that if there's more to the story than what she's admitted, now is the time to be as open and honest as possible.
Any further revelations would be a deal-breaker for me, and there would be no excuse that could rectify it. She pleaded it was a singular occurrence and that she's been wanting to confess since it happened. I asked if he had reached out after her departure, she denied any contact. I responded that it didn't surprise me, assuming he got what he wanted and moved on to another person at work. It was the only cheap shot I threw.
I requested that she leave the house for a few weeks, I wasn't telling her it was over, but I wanted to be away from her. I suggested she could stay with her sister, her mother, or even rent a place—anywhere but here. I also informed her of my intention to discuss the situation with our daughter, who is 16 by the way, some people have commented believing her to be quite younger. To my surprise, my wife revealed she had already told her about a week ago, which I was completely unaware of. She inquired about the tone of the house, and my anger, and my wife confessed to her. Before my daughter went to bed, I asked her, and indeed, my wife had admitted that she had been unfaithful. I wanted to know why she hadn't come to me about it, and she told me she didn't want to make me feel worse.
I've decided to keep her home from school tomorrow to have a heart-to-heart about everything. It's important for me to understand her feelings and to emphasize that harboring hatred towards her mother isn't the goal. Her mother has always been loving and supportive. It's natural for her to feel angry, and that's okay, but picking sides isn't beneficial – nobody wins in this situation. It's a tough reality I'm coming to terms with, everyone loses. Tomorrow, I plan to contact three local therapists and reach out to the grief counselor I met after my son's death. I'm not interested in couple's therapy; I believe individual therapy is what I need, and since it's highly recommended, I'm going to pursue it.
My daughter's school year is ending soon, and I'm looking forward to spending quality time with her. I prefer to keep our plans private from family and friends; it's our personal matter. Someone advised me about controlling the narrative, but the only thing that matters now is that my daughter knows the truth. I need some time to come to terms if this relationship is salvageable. I need this time for self-reflection and to assess the situation. When she asked if we were going the route of legal separation, I clarified that it wasn't the case. I told her that when I look at her it brings up feelings of anger, which isn't healthy.
To my astonishment, she consented to everything. She doesn't want our relationship to end, and I reminded her that her actions with him forfeited that choice to me. She mentioned my wedding ring as a sign that she still matters to me, and I assured her that she does. I proposed we conclude things there. As I walked by, I touched her shoulder; she nodded in agreement. Later, she phoned her sister and made plans to stay with her the following evening after work.
TLDR. I want to express my gratitude to everyone for their support and guidance, except to the asshole that just wanted to pick a fight. I apologize for the length of my initial post; I believed the full context was necessary to help you understand why I'm so conflicted. To those who reached out privately and know my identity, your discretion is deeply appreciated. I'm looking forward to spending the next month with my daughter and starting therapy. Your messages are welcome, and I'll do my best to respond to each one. I'll provide another update in the future when I've made a decision about our next steps or if it's time to move on. I am not rushing into this decision lightly.
​
Comments
​
Bolt_McHardsteel
Clearly you have given this a lot of thought, and come up with a way forward that is best for you. Good luck in therapy, get yourself mentally right, there is no rush to make a final decision on your marriage. Take good care of your daughter! She seems like an amazing kid. Hang in there.
​
I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP.
Please remember the No Brigading Rule and to be civil in the comments

I (27F) have an older brother, 33M. We didn't get along very much as kids due to the age gap, not for my lack of trying. I never really understood why my brother didn't really like spending time with me, because he was one of my favorite people in the world, despite all his bullying.
For context, I'll give some examples of what my brother has done to me over the years with some vague age ranges of when they occurred.
When I was about 3, my brother convinced me that red was orange and orange was red because I was learning my colors in preschool. He also used to steal food like tater tots off my little high chair tray and would pretend he didn't do anything when my mom checked on why I was crying (I was NOT a fussy baby/toddler, so it set off alarm bells when I did.)
I think when I was 4 or 5, my brother came into my room after I had already been put to bed, and he woke me up. Thing is, he was hovering over me with a scary mask on, only the hallway light, and a butterknife. Not sure I really have to explain why that was traumatic. I'm still afraid of masks to this day.
When I was around 10-12, my brother kept drinking all the milk or kool aid that I would make and never replenish/remake it. I told him to stop, he wouldn't, of course. My mom was fostering other children and didn't have time for squabbles like this. So I very visibly spit on top of the kool aid pitcher and left the lid off so it was seen. What does my (reminder, 17-19) brother do? He wrenches the bowl of cereal I'm currently eating out of my hands, spits in it, and shoves it back at me hard enough that it spilled all over me. Now, I'm not an angry person. I'm not a violent person. But I was still a child and fed up with being bullied by someone who was/almost an adult. I never tried getting physical before because I was so much smaller, but I hit puberty kind of early. So I splashed the bowl back at him to see how he liked it. He threw me to the ground and hit me. My mom had to break us up and told us we were both to blame, so he didn't even get punished.
Several times, he would turn the lights off on me when I was on the other side of the room in the basement away from the switch, because I was afraid of the dark for a very long time.
We had Sonic Adventure 2 we shared. If we ever fought about something, or I reminded him it was my turn, he threatened to say goodbye forever to my chao. I am extremely soft hearted so that accomplished what he wanted.
Sometimes I would notice my things go missing. I had assumed maybe my mom put them away somewhere and forgot, but I'm pretty sure I know what happened to them. Especially gamecube games-- Those discs were tiny! He was pawning them for drug and booze money. One time he was drunk and admitted he had been selling his adderall for other drugs. That came to a head one terrible Christmas Eve. Brother was home for the holiday and I'm not very clear on what events led up to it, but my parents caught my brother in the bathroom with a baggie of various drugs that he was already doing. He insisted it was just weed, but my parents didn't believe that. I wouldn't know, I only briefly saw the bag, but it was full of both a large green ball of like leaves and lots of white powder. It was a vicious screaming match for a few hours. I hid out in my room on a different floor and played a video game as loud as I could so I didn't have to hear my family. The screams died down after a while, and I cautiously went out of my room. My brother had left the house for a while. I had a few holiday assignments and decided to just crank them out while my family cooled off, and I did it at the dining room table because that's where our Christmas tree was too and I desperately needed that good cheer magic. I was quietly writing, not saying anything, not making much noise, when my brother came back in the house. He stopped off at the kitchen for something and muttered something rude and belittling to me. At this point I'm a preeten-early teen and he had already ruined the day that had always been magical to me before, as my grandma used to stay over with us on Christmas Eve. She had died rather recently at the time. And I can't tell you exactly what I said. I think I've blocked out as much as I can. I made some snide remark, something like 'at least I don't do drugs' and in the next second I was yanked out of my chair. My brother picked me up by the neck and slammed me against the wall. I know I clawed and kicked against the wall as hard as I could. I blacked out, and I woke up on the floor with my parents absolutely screaming at him that he could have killed me. As a side note to the whole ordeal, he never apologized, and it's made my adult life a lot harder as weed becomes more and more commonplace. Just the thought of it used to send me in a panic attack, I could feel the hands choking me again. I've gotten better about dealing with it, but I still refuse to have it in any part of my life whatsoever. It's cost me a few relationships.
When I was in college, my brother had moved back in with me and my parents because his girlfriend dumped him for being a piece of shit that worked at walmart and did nothing but drink all day despite having a state paid scholarship, that he wasted, because he couldn't keep his GPA above 2.8. He was a music major. The classes he took were things like 'History of Jimi Hendrix' and 'The Beatles'. He just partied too much to even attend class. He took the dog they got with him, not at all prepared for her. The dog is a high energy breed that is difficult to train, and we had two small 5-10 pound dogs at home. At 1 year old, bro's dog was about 30 pounds. He often left for several hours during summers/breaks when I was home, without telling anyone, knowing that I would either hear the dog cry if he crated them and feel bad and let them out or that I wouldn't banish them to a crate if they were already in a room with me. The dog bullied our other dogs and bit at everyone. Dog was incredibly overly protective of my brother-- Trait of the breed. I was back at college for a few months and had spent a good month mourning the loss of a 5 year relationship. I never really heard anything from him. Then out of the blue, my brother asks me if I can let him and dog stay for the night (we live 2 hours from the college) because my mom had kicked him out. The dog had bit her and she snapped at my brother to control his f'ing dog and he responded by calling her, the woman who birthed him, payed for his other college costs, paid back loans he promised to pay to other family members, never charged him rent, and he called her a f'ing female dog. She snapped. While I agree that my mom was completely in the right to do that, I have too soft of a heart to just leave him with nowhere to go. He promised it was just a night so he could get in touch with some friends closer to home and figure shit out. I let him come to me.
I really regret that decision.
At the time I had a new roommate (she was very nice though, I liked her) and a sort of FWB who doted on me for a little while. I texted FWB and asked if he could bring some alcohol by-- I was still 19 at the time, underage to buy it, but FWB was old enough and agreed the man could probably do with a drink. We stayed out on our little porch area to make sure that we wouldn't be disturbing my roomie in any way while we socialized. My brother got really wasted. He told me terrible things about our deceased grandmother (who he knew I had really loved growing up, and had no idea about who she really was because she had always loved me). And he laughed. He laughed when he saw the discomfort on my face. My FWB was feeling pretty bad for me and suggested we go to bed because it was also like 3 in the morning and both of us had class in the morning, so we go inside. The apartment has a shared common room/living room, little kitchen area, and laundry closet. My bedroom is on one side and roomie's was on the other-- Both bathrooms are also ensuite to the bedroom. So I went in and changed out of my clothes into something comfier to sleep in and crawled into my bed, letting my brother do his own thing in the bathroom. I'm just trying to rest and suddenly my brother is pulling me out of my bed and dragging me out of my own room. He's yelling that he's taking my bed, did I really expect him to take the couch? And I'm not very confrontational. I'm flustered, tired, and honestly a little afraid after the neck choke incident. FWB steps in like a hero and tries to calmly explain that its my bed, and I will sleep in it, I have been kind enough to let him stay and he should not be so ungrateful. Brother fucking loses his mind. Starts screaming his head off about how selfish I am and how reliant I am on our parents and won't be able to do anything on my own as an adult (I was financially dependent on my parents at 19 while in college, shocker). He starts drunkenly trying to pick up his dog's toys and searching for his keys, and both FWB and I step in and tell him he can't go driving like this, after like half a bottle of fireball. He at least needs to sober up before he can drive. I stand in front of the front door, as my brother is still searching for his keys, and there is no way I'm letting him out of here right now. Brother has found his keys, and starts pulling at me and hurting me. Lucky for me, FWB had been a pretty good wrestler in highschool. He got my brother pinned down and I snatched the keys, hiding over by the sink in case I had to throw them in there. He's screaming his head off and my poor roommate comes out and asks what the hell is going on because she knows I'm very quiet and tend to keep visitors in my room. I'm like half sobbing trying to explain and the FWB, still pinning my brother, tells her that we're trying to keep him from drunk driving. My roommate does not play around with that. She was in nursing school, and had recently lost a friend to a drunk driver. I don't know how it worked, but she put on her stern nurse tone and told my brother that he was free to leave when he sobered up, or she herself would be calling the cops on him, and both me and FWB could press additional charges for assault. He reluctantly agreed to this condition and FWB let him off the floor, but sat in front of the front door just in case. When he was sobered up, he left, saying 'I hope you like mom and dad, because I'm not your family anymore'.
And that was devastating. I couldn't stop crying. My FWB went back to bed with me and laid me down in bed and let me cry until I passed out. He skipped his class that day to be there for me. I know I don't paint a good picture of my brother, but I did/do love him. I thought now that we were older that he'd mellowed out and we could be good friends like I always wanted. I mean, I made like 300 fake facebook accounts back in the day to vote for his band to be a headliner at a large concert. Just a few years prior when he was home on a break he introduced me to a TV show we binged and he let my lay on his shoulder. (I was/am very touch starved but paralyzed by fear that I'm annoying the other person, and all my friends were made later in life and are states away). When Pokemon Go came out we would take late night drives around quiet places of town while hunting pokemon together. We traded off the controller on online battlefield games and compared scores and the most ridiculous deaths. I really thought that he loved me too, finally, after years of resentment.
He didn't speak to me for 2 years. I didn't find out until later, but my parents lied for him on my behalf that he still loved me and was just annoyed, and gave me birthday/christmas presents that they told me had been from him, just that he was working. I really treasured those objects when I didn't know the truth about them. I got a really stupid mug with the first letter of my name on it in pink and zebra print (two things I don't really enjoy) but I used that thing every single day.
So, these are glimpses into my previous relationship with my brother. I don't really remember when he started speaking to me again, but I sure know he never apologized. He had finally hit rock bottom and asked my father to put in a good word for him at (insert facility with decent pay and good benefits but hard work), which he had previously rejected by telling my parents that it was a shit job. My brother's name got put closer to the top of the resumes. He got in. It wasn't easy work, or comfy sometimes, but it paid well enough to endure that, I guess. My brother used to be rather athletic.
Between the cut off point and then, my brother had worked at a (also generic job) a town or two over and hated the commute. He also happened to find a girlfriend with an apartment sort of close by. She didn't like having him over because of his dog, and almost never let him do any overnight. But now that my brother had a better paying job, she was willing to move in with him, of course. My brother bought a house in our home town and she came with it. She pays a ridiculously low amount of rent to my brother.
If she was home and brother wasn't, the dog stayed crated up because she didn't want to deal with it. Both of them worked, but her job isn't at all difficult. And yet somehow, sometimes pulling doubles, my brother ended up doing most of everything. My brother, who didn't learn to do his laundry until his 20s, ate pizza every single day, and had left used condoms on the floor of his bedroom in our parents house when he left. He did most of the cooking because she says she's bad at it. But will make pies for her mom. When the holidays came around, instead of discussing or rotating, they will always go to her family first. If my brother can come to ours at all. He often misses entire occassions (we don't go out big, but like, cmon. Hand your dad the gift card on his birthday at least, not 2 weeks later).
I also used to get to hangout or see my brother sometimes. Maybe once every few weeks, and it was fun! It was the friendship I had always dreamt of. Now I can't even get him to do anything online with me from the comfort of his own home. I don't have a single text from him this year past 1/27.
At first, we all understood. She was quirky. I was quirky. We share several similar traits and interests. I used to like that and be excited to have a family member like me, but now I dread the day she becomes family.
Let's start with the smoking car. Me and my parents were driving near his street so we could cut through to the highway, and out of nowhere, black smoke starts coming from the hood. My father tells me and my mom to get out and he'll get it to my brother's and out of the road to look at it and see what was going on. This was like.... early August. It was very hot outside. Since I've 'been in the house before' and 'know what it's like' I am 'allowed' to come into my brother's house to cool off. But GF refuses letting in either of them, referring to the messy state of the house. Which, okay, fair-- But its HER messes. My brother cleans up after her. I learned later that GF snapped at him about his family always coming over unannounced and how she has to hurry to put on a bra and everything is messy and we can't just drop in its rude! She says, as her mother and brother do the exact same thing, in a house she doesn't own. But my family let it be water under the bridge for now. My brother called me a f'in a'hole for telling my mom about the conversation. Because my mom was livid.
The next thing is my father. My dad's family has a pretty big history of strokes and heart attacks, and he's had one heart attack. My dad had been in pain all day and he finally gave up at about 3AM and woke my mom up to drive him to the hospital. I don't have a license at this point, so there's little that I can do. My mom says the surgery he probably needs isn't even done here and they're transferring him, my mom asked me to keep my brother in the loop. So I told him about this and about the time they would reach the hospital, because my mom dad gran and I share locations. I asked if he would take me up, I had a bag full of things that might make him more comfortable or less stressed. The hospital they're taking our dad to is a little over an hour away. Everyone is more or less frantic. My brother is talking to work for him, I'm making sure that for however many hours that our pets will be okay and talking to my mom's work. We drive there and nothing major happens, but it was so... Uncomfortable? Tense. The thing that's hurting my dad is a blocked or enlarged blood vessel that cuts off oxygen to the tissue around it, which, cells die, and you really need your colon, the area my dad has an issue with. The thing is, until they can do the surgery, it was like he was a ticking time bomb. My brother takes me home when visitor hours are over and I hold my dogs tight. The next day is filled with lots of pricks pokes and prods at my dad so we don't go that day. We do go the day after, Friday. My brother's GF is in the truck with him. I'm not really paying attention to much of anything because for all we know my dad could die before we got there. Brothers' GF goes to get some snacks from the long drive and the fact that she's not exactly family yet. My brother, mom and I rotate who is away in the cafe and eating with GF. I see GF and my brother whispering angrily at each other. She's tugging at his arm. I manage to pick up 'We're going to miss my mom's dinner!" And I am just stunned. Her mother has a small family dinner every single friday and makes meatloaf. His GF wanted us to head back from our critical father, because she didn't want to miss a weekly event. And I really have to hand it to my brother for not snapping right then and there. He waited until we were in his truck and out of the hospital parking lot and says "How in the f'ck do you say something to me like that? Like, for real, wtf!" GF starts crying and says its a family tradition and her mom is all she has left-- False. She has her mom, sister, and brother, at least. Her father died in a car incident that hospitalized her as a kid. So my brother snaps again like 'are you seriously telling me you value a f'ing loaf of meat over a life? we have no idea what will happen, my dad could die within the hour and i'm not there, he could die tomorrow, how long d-" And GF cuts him off wailing that her dad is dead. Which, yes, is a horrifyingly traumatic experience. But she does not get to play the 'my dad is dead' card ten years after the fact, to justify leaving our possibly dying father before visiting hours ended. She tried to emotionally blackmail my brother by apologizing to me through tears that this must be so hard for me but honestly I was doing my best to block it out, staring at pictures of dogs in hammocks. I shared my brother's sentiment.
But wait, there's more! Remember that car accident GF had years ago? You would think that, if nothing else, she would be empathetic for someone/their family in a car crash? You'd be wrong! I was rear ended at 60 mph right in front of my house after coming home from work (the ambulance took me straight back to work lmao). The physical damage to me was pretty minimal, bruises and a sprained ankle because my foot was pressed on the brake, waiting for an opportunity to cross into the driveway. This was late October 2020. Covid regulations were pretty strict. So I was alone in a room for a while and in pain. My parents had followed the ambulance. My dad had actually heard the crash and went 'huh she usually comes home now' and runs over after seeing the wreckage. My parents had the crash footage, grainy, but there thanks to the cameras set up outside our house. I hadn't realized it by that point but I had a pretty good concussion, and I was hurt, and scared. I was texting my mom constantly but my dad had left his phone at home in the rush to get my mom and she hadn't charged her phone, they'd been in the parking lot for like an hour and a half already. They promised me they'd be back soon, they'll just pop in and let my brother know since he lives nearby. My parents didn't even ask to like, stay and sit with them instead of a cold car. My mom asked to pee and to borrow a charging cable (they had one, GF has the same model phone) given the, you know, situation. My brother barely cracked the door to speak with them. He said no, because GF was uncomfortable, because they were waiting for their second negative test to come in. Read that again. They had tested negative. It's not like my mom would go near anyone to the bathroom either-- The back door that's used more often is literally inches away from the bathroom door. My brother didn't even try to argue with his GF about his own home and some empathy for someone else dealing with a car crash. It absolutely disgusted my parents. And later on brother told me he got another earful about our parents just dropping in without notice and its like? Excuse me? Its his house!
Unfortunately, a tire popped on my parents' car when we were nearby. It was like, 3 years since the first issue with the car. I went inside and asked my brother to let my mom in because its raining. GF did not like that, and didn't realize I could overhear her down the hall, arguing with my brother and his family again. I went over the next day to my brother and he was actively cleaning up GF's mess so it wouldn't be as 'embarassing' for her. I sat him down and talked to him as realistically as I could. I have depression, anxiety, emotional abuse trauma, agorophobia, and very few friends. But I'm okay. He started very quietly expressing his frustration towards GF. She doesn't do much around the house or contribute financially, lets her family over but not his, him doing most of the cooking despite regularly pulling 12s. I sat there calmly, because of course I knew this. This is what makes the situation somewhat even more sticky. I asked my brother, "Do you actually love someone like that? Or are you afraid to be alone?" He's been in one relationship or another for most of my life. Lately he had been confiding in me about how bad his mental health was falling and I was like 'that's not a slump, that's. that's depression.' So when I asked my brother the question, he hesitated. That spoke loudly enough in my opinion. But then I also saw my brother's face crumpling as he admitted he just didn't want to be alone. GF wants babies but my brother knows with her medical history and condition on top of being so lazy and bluntly told me she would not be a good mother and hopes to God that day doesn't come. He is so unhappy being with her. We both heard the rustling of a comforter and my brother lowered his panicky voice and asked me to leave so she doesn't see me here. That is incredibly messed up, especially since its his name on the house. I haven't seen my brother at his house since then, and that was over 2 years ago.
During COVID, GF started working from home, and it stayed that way. My brother still takes care of most things.
In the mean time, he's proposed to her. Yeah. I managed to save things when all our faces dropped at the Christmas dinner he announced their engagement at. My brother calls her by a nickname that was also the name of a beloved family dog that had passed away only one month ago. My dad and my reactions at that time were genuine confusion and sadness about him bringing up our passed pet. Everything was pretty quiet after that. When we got home, I texted my brother and told him that hearing our dog's name in conversation after losing her so recently shattered us, be we were, in fact, happy for his engagement.
I lied.
None of us want him to marry her. I dread the day that I get a wedding invitation or GF shows up pregnant. She would be a terrible mother. My brother is aware of the fact that my parents think she's a rude, inconsiderate brat that only thinks of herself, from that earlier conversation that I talked to my parents about. My mom snapped that they don't have to like her, all they were required to do was be civil, and we are, so shut up.
At larger family functions GF tends to gravitate around me. Like I said, we have similar interests and personalities. And I have never told her to get lost or had it in me to upfront tell her we don't like her. I am absolutely horrible at confrontation, but my patience is wearing thin.
Last year my parents set up brunch for Mother's Day. We were at the table when my brother called and said they were going to urgent care because GF had another one of her migraines that make her vomit. Which, she takes medicine and has injectable solutions. Some situation always comes up with her right before my brother would come to us.
My parents tried again with the Mother's Day brunch last week. On the day of, he said that he was too tired to come, can we try next week? Please insert the eyeroll of the century.
Because of our clear dislike, my brother doesn't often bring his GF around anymore on the offchance she lets him. It occurred to me that my parents planned the same brunch as last year, and I was dreading my question. "Is GF coming with us for brunch?" They don't know. All my brother did was confirm the time and place. The thought of having to deal with her in the morning and pretend that I don't see her for what she is, is already exhausting me. I can barely get my brother to even play online with me. I feel like this has been festering long enough that at some point, its all going to overflow at once. But I am absolutely disgusted by how she takes advantage of my brother's fear of being alone and how the world revolves around her.
I had a dream the other day, actually, it was a good dream. I was at their wedding, and the priest guy said the standard 'speak now or hold your peace' and I stood up and loudly shouted OBJECTION! Every single person in the room turned to look at me, one because I don't raise my voice like that, two my patience is vast, and three, to upset me to this level of shouldering my anxiety by making a spectacle of myself. I then explained every detail, especially how much she was charged for rent, that my brother admitted he wasn't happy, and I wanted better for him than to just be an ATM maid.
If I bring this up to my brother again, I may lose him forever. But if I don't, he may be miserable together. And on the third side-- Do I actually really want my brothers' friendship at this point? Like, I'm definitely fed up dealing with his GF like she is. Plus, I pointed out and reiterated to him before that he admitted he wasn't happy.
I am very, very quiet by default. Never got into much trouble. I was and still am a gentle soul at my core being. If things get to a point where I cross lines of polite manners and call someone out on their bs, people around know that someone did something almost unforgivable. I'm wondering if my brother would know that.
TLDR; Brother's fiancee is disliked for good reason. My brother has isolated. I miss him, but also never want to see him again. I want to remind him that this marriage isn't a good idea, but I don't want to antagonize him.

I've asked here before, maybe twice before, but that didn't get anywhere. This time I've provided an even better recreation from a YouTube video: Here
I animated that, trying to match the graphics with a mix of what I remember and what I'd assume it actually looked like, plus filters for what a game recording of it might've looked like, idk. There might've been a GUI, but I don't remember that at all.
Platform: I played this on a Windows 98 computer, maybe online. With it being online that kind of opens the door a lot. I've previously searched through archives and lists of games, but I haven't found it.
Genre: It was an adventure game of some sort. I think I controlled the character with the arrow keys and was confused by the directions it went. I remember walking through the corridors, but not too much what the gameplay exactly was. I know it was intriguing though.
Release Date: I'm not sure. I played it around 2001-2003. I recalled my older sibling introducing the game to me, but they don't recognize the game.
Graphics/ Art Style: The graphics were definitely crusty, probably prerendered. Maybe the Main character was a small 3D model rendered in game, but I imagine it would've been simpler for the main character to be prerendered like the backgrounds and other objects. I tried to capture that idea in my animation, but I didn't want to put the effort into actually prerendering the graphics. I feel as though the Anubis statue and the main character might've been more detailed, but I didn't want to detail them more.
Notable Characters: There was the Adventurer character who vaguely looked like what I presented, but it might've been a more tan suit, and the pants might've gone all the way down instead of having boots over them. There was also a statue of Anubis or some monster guarding doors. But they were always doors I couldn't get to. They were across the void.
Notable gameplay mechanics: I feel as though there were bats that could hurt you, along with a floor that would crumble beneath you. There might've been snakes and arrows that shot out of the wall. I think the snakes were hard to see. Same with the bats.
Other Details:
And of course, the doors that were across the void I couldn't get to. Maybe my sibling had played earlier and now those paths weren't available, I don't know. I recall asking about it, like "Why would they put pathways and doors in places you can't get to? How do I get there?" And my older sibling would just shrug it off. But of course, they don't even remember the game lol.
Some people have insisted it was actually an NES game or city building game, but no... I didn't have an NES, and it was definitely not a city builder.
I played this on our family Windows 98 computer. My sibling was the one who first found it and opened it. I might've asked for the website once and opened it there a few times myself, but I eventually forgot and lost what that was. If it was a website.
It might've gone into full screen or just been a new window. I get this feeling that I would click the link on the website and it would launch the game. I think it was just one of many games on the website. Not a full MMO or whatever.
If my memory of the website is correct, it just had a white background with a list of games to play, this being the most fun one it had, while the others were lame puzzle games.
When bringing this up with my sibling, they said they remembered an egyptian style game, but not this, rather it was Charmer. Which was a game I forgot about, but I did play that as well.
Another suggestion they gave was that the website could've been crayola and it was a game from there, but I couldn't find anything on that.
If I make a new post in the future, not only would I expand the gameplay animation, which, I don't think I have much to add, but there is the second door, then I'd also animate like the website to give an idea of that.
Further context: I was around 4-5 when I played this game. Basically, around when I was going to preschool. Maybe a bit older, but not too much older. My family only had a Windows 98 computer, we didn't have any consoles or older software. There wasn't an NES or an Amiga or whatever. Later, we did get 2 XPs. One family one and one just for my older sibling as they loved computer games. I did too, but I was younger. And even when I did get to my older sibling's age when they got their first computer, my parents didn't get me my own, despite the fact I was constantly on the family computer. They probably didn't have money.
We later had a knock off console, the Zone, which was a knock off of the wii with Atari graphics and awful games. Not worth looking into. Then we had a Nintendo DS when I was around 9 or 10. It wasn't until I was in high school I got my own laptop. Anyway, yeah
This is just to reiterate that it probably wasn't an NES, Amiga, or Comodore 64 game. Nor would it have been a Playstation 2 game. My neighbor did have a PlayStation 2, but he only had wrestling games and a snow boarding game. Plus, he'd only invite my twin sister over, not me, mostly.
Previous Suggestions: Challenge of Empires (Platformer with vastly different art style) God of War (This is a different genre) Secrets of the Pyramid (Right vibes, but this is a point and click game without isometric backgrounds) Knight Lore (Very different art style, wrong time period) Egypt Dungeon Escape (This is a point and click mystery game with toony graphics. The game I'm looking for, while potentially having point and click mechanics for movement, played very differently) Dark Secrets of Africa (Best suggestion so far in terms of looks, but too big of a world) Prince of Persia (The game I'm looking for isn't a platformer, plus it ran on Windows 98) Scarab of Ra (Wrong art style, and more of a pseudo 3D grid maze text game.) Entombed (Comodore 64) Curse: The Eye of Isis (This is a full 3D game, which isn't what I'm looking for.) I Have no Mouth and I must Scream (Ellen's Portion) (This has cutscenes and the art style doesn't fit) Zak McKraken and the Alien Mindbenders Indiana Jones and the Fate of Atlantis (Right angle, the game might've looked like it, but clearly not this game) The Mummy Online (This one has full 3-D graphics, definitely the wrong art style.) Heimdall (This is an amiga game, and it's the wrong art style) Cadaver (Ditto to above) The Pharaoh's Tomb (Best suggestion in terms of gameplay, wrong art style, and wrong time period) Ultima VIII (Too Big of a world, too much freedom of movement. Plus, doesn't look right to me) Egyptia (It's a puzzle game with a 3D or bird's eye perspective) Captain Salve and the Secrets of the Pyramid (Not much info, I'll look into it more) Ankh (Full 3D game) Rich Diamond (Too Zoomed out)
Previous recreation images: Version 1 Version 2 Version 3

For easter eggs
• there is a brain plush behind the door you send scrap in, when the door opens walk in and go around back and you will see it on a crate. (There are no additional easter evgs in that room)
• For the burger plush its in the kitchen counter next to the door where you buy stuff.
These are few things i encountered with my friend that just wish they were fixed:
• If you have 3 or less days in your contract selling items ahead of time add to your quota, its.really no point because when you come back to base youll notice all your sold scrap you sold before.you left is gone and you have to hope you met qouta with what you have. So be sure.if you have extra towards your next quota, its better to keep it with you on ship until you need to sell to complete your contract.
• If you end the session while things such as items you paid for are in your inventory wthe next time you reenter the session, your paid items will be gone, best way to do prevent this.is.all players need to drop them in the ship before they or all leave the session.

If you want to receive this as a daily email in your inbox, you can now join at this link

worldnews

• PauloPatricio

France vs. 'Shrinkflation': Starting July 1, All 'Shrinked' Products Must Be Labelled For Consumers
Comments Link

• DekiTree

French police kill man trying to 'burn synagogue'
Comments Link

• Unusual-State1827

More than 60% of world’s coral reefs may have bleached in past year, U.S. agency says
Comments Link

news

• RaffyGiraffy

Florida teen says she was denied entry to prom for wearing a suit
Comments Link

• a_dogs_mother

Teen died from eating a spicy chip as part of social media challenge, autopsy report concludes
Comments Link

• DavianVonLorring

A Lakota graduate’s plume was cut from her cap. The Farmington district remains silent.
Comments Link

science

• mvea

Social progressives were more likely to view rape as equally serious or more serious than homicide compared to social conservatives. Progressive women were particularly likely to view rape as more serious than homicide, suggesting that gender plays a critical role in shaping these perceptions.
Comments Link

• mvea

A new technique has allowed scientists to freeze human brain tissue so that it regains normal function after thawing. Scientists have successfully frozen and thawed brain organoids and cubes of brain tissue from a 9-year-old girl with epilepsy.
Comments Link00121-8)

• Wagamaga

Glimpse of next-generation internet. Scientists established the practical makings of the first quantum internet by entangling two quantum memory nodes separated by optical fiber link deployed over a roughly 22-mile loop through Cambridge, Somerville, Watertown, and Boston
Comments Link

space

• ubcstaffer123

Huge, solar flare-launching sunspot has rotated away from Earth. But will it return? The sunspot AR3664 may not be done with us just yet.
Comments Link

• slowburnangry

Europa's Icy Crust Is 'Free-Floating' Across the Moon's Hidden Ocean, New Juno Images Suggest
Comments Link

• OlympusMons94

Europe is uncertain whether its ambitious Mercury probe can reach the planet
Comments Link

Futurology

• Hot_Transportation87

Microsoft's Emissions Spike 29% as AI Gobbles Up Resources
Comments Link

• Worldly_Flow9133

Researchers at the University of Washington developed deep-learning algorithms that allow users to pick which sounds to filter through their headphones in real-time
Comments Link

• chrisdh79

Frozen human brain tissue works perfectly when thawed 18 months later Scientists in China have developed a new chemical concoction that lets brain tissue function again after being frozen.
Comments Link

AskReddit

• Accomplished-Cat-325

What insult that deeply hurt you won't you forget?
Comments Link

• BlastingSquid886

What is a good movie to watch while drunk?
Comments Link

• ccie6861

What embarrassing or disturbing thing have you found while helping a friend move?
Comments Link

todayilearned

• LeftNeck9994

TIL Multiple studies have found that an extra inch of height can be worth an extra $1,000 a year in wages both for men and women
Comments Link

• tyrion2024

TIL in 2012 LL Cool J broke the nose, jaw, and ribs of a man charged with breaking into his home. His family was sleeping when their home security alarm went off at 1am, "sending LL Cool J into action". After catching the man, he held him until the authorities arrived.
Comments Link

• icanhazkarma17

TIL American composer Kevin MacLeod allows anyone to use his music for free, as long as he receives credit for the song. This has led to his music being used in thousands of films, millions of videos on YouTube.
Comments Link

dataisbeautiful

• jcceagle

[OC] Life expectancy vs. health expenditure
Comments Link

• klokain

Do UFO Sightings Happen Near Airports? Best Locations and Times to Spot a UFO. [OC]
Comments Link

• phatangus

For a majority of Americans, a standard tip when dining at a sit-down restaurant is 15% or less
Comments Link

Cooking

• PreschoolBoole

What’s the most absurd way you cook a food item that you swear is superior?
Comments Link

• Warm_Forever9843

What's your favourite recipe that includes zucchini?
Comments Link

• Bunnyeatsdesign

What rice dishes are not served hot?
Comments Link

food

• mabmab4

[homemade] Chicago Dogs
Comments Link

• Fbeezy

[Homemade] Eggs Florentine
Comments Link

• briblossom

[homemade] Gnocchi
Comments Link

movies

• MarvelsGrantMan136

Tony McFarr, Chris Pratt’s ‘Guardians of the Galaxy’ & ‘Jurassic World’ Stunt Double, Dies at 47
Comments Link

• MarvelsGrantMan136

Francis Ford Coppola’s ‘Megalopolis’ - Review Thread
Comments Link

• hekenwkskdn777728

New LONGLEGS Poster
Comments Link

Art

• Zamaliev_Igor

From a hayfield, Zamaliev _Igor, watercolor, 2024
Comments Link

• papaAnkIES

Flight, Bacriswell2, oil, 2024
Comments Link

• Just_Benefit6810

“Phases”, Adam Feher, Digital Collage, 2021
Comments Link

television

• MarvelsGrantMan136

‘Fallout’ Sets Another Nielsen Streaming Chart Record, Becomes First Non-Netflix Show to Top 2 Billion Minutes Viewed in Consecutive Weeks
Comments Link

• MarvelsGrantMan136

'Shogun' Seasons 2 and 3 in the Works at FX, Hulu; Will Compete in Drama Category at the Emmys
Comments Link

• indig0sixalpha

'X-Men ‘97' understood the power of perfect timing
Comments Link

pics

• Douglasqqq

Jack Black walking around Brighton, England alone.
Comments Link

• Dar-Vin

The portal In Dublin this evening!
Comments Link

• t-o-m-u-s-a

Houston just had severe weather.
Comments Link

gifs

• GrowLapsed

Marijuana Timelapse - 5 Weeks of Flowering Buds
Comments Link

• HappySkullsplitter

We don't need roads
Comments Link

• Squirrelmonkeycom

Europa-pa
Comments Link

educationalgifs

mildlyinteresting

• KingOfAllFishFuckers

I bought another smart car, can park them both in the same space.
Comments Link

• jesusismagic

I have not worn a watch for over 10 years, but you can still see where it used to be on my arm.
Comments Link

• Lancet11

Found out this winter that Crown Royal freezes
Comments Link

interestingasfuck

• ThatCoolBlondeGirl

It’s been 84 years…
Comments Link

• DrFetusRN

*A regular work day at the Temu warehouse *
Comments Link

• NickyPappagiorgio

*Cannabis growing naturally in the Himalayas *
Comments Link

funny

• Thapee

*I just took a photo of my receding hairline yesterday and my reaction was same! *
Comments Link

• OddlyCheap

I was walking to class and saw these bumper stickers
Comments Link

• explosivejoseph

Throuple in the front row of a comedy show
Comments Link

aww

• ughstopbanningme

opened our front door to see this, the mom is still there she just got scared when i opened it.
Comments Link

• Rdhilde18

*Saved a baby possum *
Comments Link

• dmcdaniel87

My dad rescued this little guy
Comments Link
Get this as a daily email!

What happened to VPR in your bio and what's going on? (Timestamp: 2:04) - Scheana: So to be honest, my sister does all of my links and that stuff on Instagram for me. I didn't even notice that it was taken out of my bio until everyone else did. I think maybe when she put the Sweet and Sour song in, she took out VPR because there were too many things in my bio. - Scheana: Also, for 11 years, I've never had anything VPR in my bio until we were nominated for an Emmy. James Kennedy and I worked together the day we found out and we're like, who could put it in their bio faster? What emoji should we use? - Scheana: And we both put it in our bio and then lo and behold, we didn't win the Emmy. And what was it? Emmy nominated VPR was in my bio for, I think just around the Emmy time and then my sister took it out. - Scheana: So literally no other rhyme or reason, nothing else going on there. It just, too many things in the bio just make it a little too cluttered looking and you know, I'm OCD. So I guess she just wanted to keep it clean.
Do you wish you guys have been able to break the fourth wall more? Are there any moments from past seasons where you wish that it happened? (Timestamp: 3:22) - Scheana: Yes, honestly, I think that is so interesting when you're watching a reality show and they talk about the show on the show. - Scheana: They do this on Kardashians. They do this on the D'Amelio show. And I just think that makes the reality even more real because there are things that happen in press on Watch What Happens Live at the reunion last year. - Scheana: There are things that you want to address where you have to say like, oh, well the last time we were in New York together, I noticed they were doing that on the first episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey. And we used to do that all the time on the show. Sometimes you just want to be like, look at the reunion last year, but you have to say like, well the last time we all got together. - Scheana: And it's just easier and I think it makes sense if you just say, well, you said this on Watch What Happens Live, not I heard you said. And so I do hope moving forward with the way our season ended that we're able to have more moments like that because I think it just adds to our reality. And there have been so many things in the past. - Scheana: I can't even think off the top of my head, but yeah, many moments where I wish we could just talk about the show on the show. But I also understand why they don't like to do that. And I think it's only really meant for important moments. So, hopefully there is a season 12 and maybe we see a little more of that.
How are you feeling after Reunion 1 aired? (Timestamp: 4:56) - Scheana: Well, I have not looked on anything said on social media. I felt like watching the episode, it was a pretty good one. I think the next two are gonna be definitely more dramatic from what I remember. I feel like I tend to emotionally blackout after Reunion days. - Scheana: And I'm like, wait, what happened? What did we say? And then we have to watch it back. But that's the beauty of reality TV is you gotta watch back your life, the good, the bad, the cringe, all of it.
Is there anything you wish we got to see this season but didn't? (Timestamp: 5:35) - Scheana: There are a few things, but there's also a secrets revealed episode that is going to air, I believe only on Peacock, after the third part of the reunion the following week. - Scheana: So you'll see some new interview bites. We did some doubles there, which is really fun. And you'll see some scenes that didn't make it in. - Scheana: One of them is my sister's birthday and Valley Brat launch party. So that was a really fun day. Almost the entire cast was there. Katie and Tori were there. And I'm excited to see that. I haven't seen it yet, but I know that that's one of the scenes that we should be seeing. Stay tuned.
Anything you wish you said at the reunion that you didn't get a chance to say? (Timestamp: 6:20) - Scheana: I haven't seen the last two episodes of The Reunion yet, so I'm not sure what all will be included. You'll have to ask me again in two weeks.
What are you planning to do on the VPR break? (Timestamp: 6:34) - Scheana: Reflect, grow, learn. I'm going to be working on a dream project of mine this summer, so I'm very, very excited about having time to do that and not figuring out how I'm going to juggle that with filming five days a week. I'm going to get to enjoy a summer off for the first time in like 12 years and the first time as a mom. So I'm really looking forward to having some downtime focusing on some other projects. - Scheana: Summer starts preschool and yeah, it'll just be nice to finish getting stuff done in our house. We're almost fully furnished, not completely yet. We still got some tweaks and add some little accent pieces, need some artwork in the living room, but I'm just excited to have time with the family and in the new house. - Scheana: And as crazy as it sounds being in the desert in the summer, I love being in Palm Springs. Even if it is 120 degrees outside, there's just something about my house. It's so peaceful. - Scheana: And now that we have Lala next door, I mean, we have both of our houses close to each other, but we'll definitely be out there a bunch this summer.
How do we feel about the next season being on hold? (Timestamp: 7:55) - Scheana: I think this break is needed. Honestly, I think it is the smartest decision to not jump right back in to another season like we did after Scandoval. I don't think enough time had passed. And I feel like if we gave it a little more time to breathe, things would have been a lot different. - Scheana: But I don't know, maybe we needed to jump back in as soon as possible to capture what was still happening. But for right now, after that reunion and how dramatic the season ended, and as you guys know, we all watched the last part of the finale together in front of each other for the first time, which was extremely emotional. I feel like all of us need a little bit of an emotional break. - Scheana: Some from each other, some from the cameras. I need a couple more EMDR sessions before I go back into another season. But I think giving us some time off to let some new story build up, follow some of the projects that we've been working on. - Scheana: And yeah, I think it is very needed and I think it'll be good in the end. I didn't know how I felt about it in the beginning, but the more I've sat with it, I'm like, yeah, this is the right decision.
What did you make of Ariana voting No It's Done on that IG fan poll asking do you think there will be a season 12 of VPR? (Timestamp: 9:18) - Scheana: Well, as her friend, I fully support her pursuing her dreams. I always have. I've said that multiple times. It's like if VPR and reality TV no longer serve her, then on to the next thing. She's going back to Broadway. She's doing Love Island. - Scheana: She has so many amazing things lined up. I don't even know what else is in the pipeline for her, but I'm sure many more amazing things. So if it's time to move on, it's like I completely get it. - Scheana: As her coworker, if this is true, I mean, it's kind of frustrating that she would advocate for the end of a work project that is a big part of my business and what Lala and I as moms do to support our families. - Scheana: So that's what's tricky too with this show is our life is our job and our job is our life. And as a friend, I understand and respect boundaries. As your coworker, there can be moments where it's frustrating. So that's how I feel about that.
What are your hopes for season 12? (Timestamp: 10:40) - Scheana: Well, I hope that we have one. First of all, the finale did feel very series ending, but I think it also opens up the door for a new beginning. I think there are still so many stories to be told among this group. - Scheana: And maybe with ending the season with the fourth wall breaking down, maybe that opens up the door to more of that for hopefully season 12. I think we have a really interesting story to tell moving forward. And I think there's going to be a lot left to tell.
How do you feel about Ariana not watching the season? (Timestamp: 15:28) - Scheana: Look, I get that it can be difficult to watch back sometimes. And I am a person who season six did not wanna watch back that relationship. And that relationship with Rob doesn't even compare to her relationship with Sandoval. - Scheana: So I understand she was busy, she was working, she was living in her happy bubble in New York, doing Chicago, and probably didn't wanna let anything get into her orbit, burst her bubble. I did the same thing when I was doing my show in Las Vegas. And I was performing every night on stage. - Scheana: I didn't want any of that going into me going on stage. So I get not wanting to disturb your peace. It's like she was literally living her dream at the moment that the show was airing. - Scheana: But with that being said, she wasn't watching the season, but she was keeping up on social media. And that's the thing that's hard for me because she's seen clips. And I know this does get addressed later in the reunion. - Scheana: I don't know what will air. I just remember speaking about it. But she was basing her perception off of fan clips and commentary. Like I know she even said on Watch What Happens Live that one of the things that hurt her the most was seeing the backup dancer comment I made. - Scheana: And in context that was honestly never meant to be shady. It was a cheeky comment where I'm actually like making fun of myself. I mean, I am not Beyonce, okay? It was a joke. But for her to say that really hurt her, I'm like, damn girl, like I didn't mean it in that way. - Scheana: But if you did watch the whole season and Andy asked her, did you see the conversation Scheana had with Sandoval? I felt like that conversation, I was having her back. I was advocating for her and her mental health and the things that he had done that were wrong outside of the affair. - Scheana: She never even watched that. She says that she lived the show, so she didn't need to watch it back. But there were all of the moments that she wasn't there for that I do wish she watched back because I think she would have a bigger picture of how I was being a good friend to her. - Scheana: So for her and Katie to say that they felt like I was a better friend to Sandoval this season, I definitely don't think I was a better friend to Sandoval. I don't think I was a good friend to Sandoval at all. Did I treat him like a human? Sure.
Is Summer Moon's half sister really named Winter Sky? (Timestamp: 22:51) - Scheana: No, I think someone online made that up. It's been circulating. That is not her middle name. It's not for me to say what her middle name is, but it's absolutely not Sky or anything close to that or seasonal.
Why do you think Katie spoke one way about Ariana off camera versus on camera? Do you think it was because she wanted to protect Ariana's feelings or was she worried about the backlash from the fans if she said anything critical about Ariana? (Timestamp: 24:36) - Scheana: I don't necessarily think it's either. I think it was and has been a business decision for them to remain a united front. They've made a lot of money on something about her. - Scheana: So I get, you know, not wanting to affect their business and I fully support that. I know what Lala said at the reunion, she felt that Katie was being fake by acting one way on camera and different behind the scenes. But I mean, I think Katie was probably prioritizing her brand as she was making, you know, probably more from that than from the show. - Scheana: So as a friend, I understand and respect the business decision. But you know, again, as a coworker, it's frustrating when you're not living your truth. So I get it. - Scheana: But it's like, we all show up and do the uncomfortable stuff. And when others aren't, it is frustrating. And if you do act differently on and off camera, you're probably going to get called out for it. - Scheana: So you should be prepared. If you say something on a phone call, just like Brock said something to Lala in private season nine, you know, just because it's off camera doesn't mean it's not going to get brought up on camera. So being authentic always is the only way to be on reality TV, honestly.
Do you see Lala's hypocrisy when it comes to her critique of Ariana's boundary needs, like Randall? (Timestamp: 29:34) - Scheana: I think it's different situations. Honestly, Lala and Randall weren't coworkers. If Randall had been on the show, I think it would be a different story.
How do you feel about Lala saying you were living in the comments section? (Timestamp: 29:50) - Scheana: I think it's more the concept that I let public perception get to me as I really don't spend a lot of time in the comments section. I read the first 20 to 30, as those are usually people I follow and friends, and then I'll see the next couple, but once there's a negative one, I'm like, okay, let's put this away. - Scheana: So it's like if I did fully live in the comments section, it would not be good for my mental health. And I mean, of course I care when people are mad at me. I'm a people pleaser as we know, but I'm also working on that.
Do you agree with LVP that a Lala and Schwartz coupling would be a beautiful thing? (Timestamp: 30:29) - Scheana: No.
Do you agree with Lala that Ariana got cheated on and then made it her whole personality? (Timestamp: 30:31) - Scheana: No, I don't agree with that either. If anyone has made it their personality, that would be more fitting of the other woman involved.
What do you think happened in NYC with Jax, Tom and Victoria after Watch It Happens Live? (Timestamp: 30:54) - Don't know, don't care.
Why aren't you and Sandoval talking much now? (Timestamp: 31:00) - Scheana: I mean, Sandoval and I haven't talked much in over a year since pre Sandoval, so nothing really has changed.
Tom said in a recent interview that he's not getting a redemption arc, but a re humanizing. Do you agree? (Timestamp: 31:14) - Scheana: I mean, whatever it is, I think he probably blew it. And even just watching him on Watch What Happens Live this season, it's like, yeah, you really haven't changed, buddy. - Scheana: You know, I did try to do what Scheana always does and see the tiny bit of good still left and the soul still there, but yeah, you know, whatever
If Tom told LVP that he was suicidal, why was he still filming? Did she get him help? (Timestamp: 31:47) - Scheana: That is a great question. You'll have to ask her that. From what I know, if he was feeling that way during filming, he would have to be in therapy and like talking to a psychiatrist regularly. But yeah, I don't know too much else about that.
Now that the dust has settled, do you think Tom made you look dumb? Do you regret it? (Timestamp: 32:08) - Scheana: I wouldn't give him that much power, TBH. If you think I looked dumb, it was my own doing. I don't regret any of my actions. I don't regret trying to still see some good in someone who had been a very good friend to me for many years, leading up to filming the show from the beginning. - Scheana: Tom and I were very close. We were close for the first few seasons. Season three, I felt like, was it two or three? Whenever Miami Girl and the whole that came around, I did feel like I was seeing a different side of him, the side that we all saw last year. I didn't think he was good for Ariana. - Scheana: I voiced my concerns to her mom. I stand by all of those things that I said back then, but when Ariana convinced me that he was a good person, he didn't do this and I needed to get off this or I was gonna lose her as a friend, I immediately just got over it. I made him my brand again and we built such an insanely strong bond from season two or three, whenever that was, up until Scandoval - Scheana: Although we were not speaking a ton leading up to all of this stuff, I think he knew what he was doing and that's why he started distancing himself from me. That's why Rachel started distancing herself from me because they knew they were being shady for seven months. - Scheana: So Tom and I not speaking that much right now is no different than the seven months leading up to Scandoval. But it's like also with Tom, I've had conversations with him on and off camera and I've tried to get through to him to snap him out of this downward spiral to start showing some empathy and deference towards Ariana, but it's been over a year now and he hasn't really been able to do that. - Scheana: It's like, regardless of who this man was in the past, I do have to accept the reality that that is not who he is now. It's been a hard pill for me to swallow and to watch back, but I think part of me maybe hoped that he had temporarily lost his mind and could be just shaken back to reality. - Scheana: I hoped that he could be genuinely remorseful, but I don't think he is. I felt like there were moments of it where the mask came down and I saw that Tom, and then he's just gone again. And then he says dumb shit that he tried to defend on Watch What Happens Live. - Scheana: (Does a Sandoval impression) “I was like, well, no, I was saying it was good for me. I did my job.” And it's like, no, that's not how you meant. And that right there, it's like Tom, right when you're starting to take a few steps forward, you just fully bury yourself again. I just, I don't get it, but I guess I do.
Do you see how much Sandoval manipulated you in the finale with that final scene? Can't you see through Tom's narcissism? The man has repeatedly lied to you, put you in legal peril, and he takes cheap shots at you by bringing up the Eddie thing. When are you going to wake up and realize this man doesn't care about you (Timestamp: 35:00) - Scheana: Wow, that's a loaded question. Look, a lot of things happened this last year that have changed my perspectives on various people and relationships in my life. Tom and I were friends, as I just said, for so many years, and years before VPR, and it's like viewers have only seen a small fragment of that friendship on the show. Same can be said for all of my castmates. - Scheana: Tom and I are always going to be tied together through this show and our long history, but we're never going to have a friendship like we had before. It's impossible to go back when so much has been broken. Like not just the friendship broken, but the trust shattered. - Scheana: I mean, and I haven't really necessarily seen the growth in him that would merit my energy being fully put back into rekindling a full friendship with him. So I'm not going to try and build that back up if I'm not seeing that from him.
Following you these last years on the show, listening to the podcasts and vlogs, it really felt like you would finally found your voice in this group once you had cut ties with Tom Sandoval. Now that he's back in the picture, you seem to have lost it. How can we help get that voice back? (Timestamp: 36:24) - Scheana: Look, I'm working on it. As hard as it is to watch back sometimes, one of the benefits of reality show life is the added perspective that comes with it. So in due time, I am doing my best. I really genuinely am. I'm trying.
If Rachel tried to reach out to you now, would you respond? If so, what would you say? (Timestamp: 40:22) - Scheana: Oh, I don't think I'm ever gonna hear from that girl, so I don't know what I would say, honestly.
Do you think that Rachel was groomed by Sandoval? (Timestamp: 40:30) - Scheana: I mean, that part of their dynamic was nowhere near me, so I wouldn't be able to answer that.
***end of recap

We live in the suburb of a large metropolitan city and my child attends a preschool program with flexible hours. The program is part of a larger community center. Both have been a part of our community for many years.
My child is almost 4 and attends in the afternoons. When I picked her up on Monday she told me a weird story about going potty and everyone being gone and the classroom being dark and her friends grandpa finding her.
I was confused but she didn't seem upset so I didn't make a big deal about it. I had no reason to think it wasn't something benign.
The director calls me later and I found out that my child was forgotten in the classroom (there were 5 children in the class including my daughter) and when this grandpa came to pick up their child, my child was standing at the classroom door with it open, crying. I guess she had been in the bathroom in the classroom and the teacher went outside without her. The playground is on the opposite end of the building.
The director agreed that this was unacceptable and would update me on the steps they would take.
I sent a very strongly worded email to the executive director of the community center and the center director indicating that it was egregious that my 3 year old would be forgotten and found by a man who is not on staff at the center. The executive director was pretty flippant and just agreed that it was unfortunate and that she's trusts the leadership of the director. Director called me and they fired the teacher yesterday. I removed my child immediately after this incident and have no plans to re-enroll.
My 3 year old hates being left alone for any amount of time now, bed time is a disaster. She's waking up in the middle of the night screaming the past two nights.
WWYD?

Can anyone share their experience with the free preschool options for 3-4 year olds, such as:
a. HCAP Head Start program
b. EOEL public preschool program
c. Pre-school Open Door (POD) subsidy
We have a member (lives in town) who has qualified for the POD subsidy, but has also been accepted to the HCAP Head Start program, which is free. Of course, with the POD subsidy, you can select your own preschool, as long as it's under $1500 a month, but I'm curious if the HCAP program is good quality itself?
I believe that free does not always equate to low quality and from what I have researched, the HCAP program does require an application process and a waitlist, so they were somewhat selective in who was accepted (at least, by income, I think). For the POD subsidy, the member only has a little over a week to find somewhere, which may be difficult since most are likely to be full at this point in the year. I know almost nothing about the EOEL program though. Thank you.

This is going to be a long one, I apologize in advance.
Yesterday I was terminated from my center after only 2 ish almost 3 months of employment and I feel like I was completely blindsided and very unequipped due to lack of training.
First, some backstory. Before landing this job I had a little previous experience in this field but as an assistant pre-k teacher at a different center. This new center I was recently fired from is very understaffed and desperate for teachers but because of my previous experience, I was offered the position of lead pre-k teacher. I was so happy and excited to be able to take on the responsibility of getting 4 year olds ready for school.
Due to the fact that the center is understaffed and the preschool teacher would call out/be unable to make it due to personal reasons, I would often be in charge of supervising both the preschoolers and the pre-k kids since they were so close in age. Outside of signing employment documents and a converstion about the employee handbook, I never received any formal training I was just thrown into a classroom and told staff meetings would be held, and that when they hired more people to free up some time to do some training, they would get around to training the newer teachers. Around this same time I had also just found out I was pregnant. When I was only expected to have the class I was hired for and have experience with (pre-k), I was able to actually get lessons done, do circle time, and carve out time for educational crafts/play and would only have about 7 kids in my ratio. None of these kids had any behavioral issues outside of being a kid or had any learning disabilities and if they did, none of it was ever brought to my attention. In the preschool class, about 3-4 of them have autism at varying places on the spectrum and a lot of the rest of them just don’t want to listen.
I began to get burned out because the preschool teacher was calling out more which by default would leave me with not only my class, but her class too though i never complained because I understood we were short staffed. I admittedly had a hard time gaining any control over the now combined classes or being able to get any learning done because every 5 seconds I had to deescalate fights between children, biting episodes, outbursts from the ones with disabilities because I was not equipped nor aware of their needs/how to redirect them in a way that works for them or even communicate with them and it became an issue and my boss had sat me down to bring it to my attention. I was actually greatful for this because I could finally tell her that I felt very unequipped to be in a combined classroom where I do not have the proper training on how to handle a classroom with some children having disabilities by myself. She thanked me for my honesty and again mentioned how they were trying to hire more people and that when they got that squared away, they would be able to finally get some training done so that I would have better ways to handle my now combined class since they still didn’t have a preschool teacher.
One day was particularly awful in terms of having a handle on the class and one of the children with autism had a meltdown and began kicking me in my pregnant stomach, hitting me with toys and biting so hard that they left marks on me. I got overwhelmed and asked someone else to step in and eventually was told that the director was going to make sure I was no longer in preschool because it was way too much stress for me especially with me being pregnant. This led to my very brief stint of being an infants teacher for one day.
I was excited to try infants thinking it would be far less stressful and it was however a baby needed a diaper change and I took the baby to the changing table, then took a maximum of 6 steps to let the teacher know I put the baby up there to be changed and was told that I can’t leave a child unattended on a changing table. Let me once again repeat that at this point, 3 months into working for this center i STILL do not have any type of formal traning and the training they promised I would receive had not been started yet. I fully had no idea that that even counted as leaving a child unattended and after I was told not to do that, I never did it again, mostly due to the fact that I was never put in the infants room again.
Fast forward to yesterday, I’m cleaning the classroom so I have a video playing on the tablet to keep the kids busy while i clean. One of the children with autism decides they wanted to get up and get a toy. As I’m in the motion of taking the toy to put it back, the child’s parent walks in and sees. The parent tells the child that it’s not nice to not listen to the teacher and to tell me I’m sorry and to put the toy back. They then leave and the child tells me goodbye and I say I’ll see them tomorrow. Another teacher comes in to relieve me and says she overheard the same parent tell the director I had snatched the toy from her child and as I’m heading out the door, the director stops me to let me know I’ve been terminated.
I recently received my termination letter and it stated I was terminated due to cellphone usage (we use an app to track their bathroom breaks, meals and naps and activities and I was told by the director using my phone to input the data into the app was fine), leaving children unattended on changing tables, leaving staff out of ratio, aggressive attitudes and behavior towards children with disabilities and children without, improper supervision during every transition, and lack of ability to car for children in infants, toddlers, preschool and pre-k.
I am utterly heartbroken and very confused because I admit these things are true but most (phone usage, leaving children unattended on changing tables, ratio, and aggressive attitudes/behavior) have been grossly taken out of context and everything that was listed as a reason to terminate me are all things that I was supposed to be trained on and the training never happened.
Am I fully at fault for this termination? I’m genuinely asking because I feel like if I was supposed to be trained and I never got the proper training and as a result I performed my job poorly, how could i entirely be the sole person responsible?
Opinions are welcome as well as feedback, this was only my second time working in this field so I truly am just flabbergasted. I personally feel like I got thrown to the wolves and then cut due to convenience.

Here's a list of different forms of modern poetry, along with the title, poet, and a quote from a work that made the genre popular:

1. Spoken Word Poetry:
   
   • Title: "Holler If You Hear Me"
   • Poet: Saul Williams
   • Quote: "I exist without skin color, without nationality, without religious bias."
2. Instagram Poetry:
   
   • Title: "Milk and Honey"
   • Poet: Rupi Kaur
   • Quote: "you tell me to quiet down cause my opinions make me less beautiful but I was not made with a fire in my belly so I could be put out."
3. Hip-Hop Lyrics:
   
   • Title: "The Message"
   • Artist: Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five
   • Quote: "Don't push me 'cause I'm close to the edge. I'm trying not to lose my head."
4. Spine Poetry:
   
   • Title: "A Hummingbird in My House"
   • Poet: S.C. Wilson
   • Quote: "In my house, the air is filled with a hummingbird's song, sweet and gentle."
5. Lyrical Essays:
   
   • Title: "Citizen: An American Lyric"
   • Poet: Claudia Rankine
   • Quote: "Because white men can’t / police their imagination / black men are dying."
6. Instapoetry:
   
   • Title: "The Sun and Her Flowers"
   • Poet: Rupi Kaur
   • Quote: "how you love yourself is how you teach others to love you."
7. Twitter Poetry:
   
   • Title: Twitter poetry often exists as micro-poetry or haikus within the platform.
   • Poet: Various Twitter poets
   • Quote: "City lights whisper, hearts embrace the night, love blooms in shadows."
8. Song Lyrics (Rock):
   
   • Title: "Bohemian Rhapsody"
   • Artist: Queen
   • Quote: "Scaramouche, Scaramouche, will you do the Fandango!"
9. Song Lyrics (Rap):
   
   • Title: "Lose Yourself"
   • Artist: Eminem
   • Quote: "You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow. This opportunity comes once in a lifetime."
10. Free Verse Poetry:
    
    • Title: "Leaves of Grass"
    • Poet: Walt Whitman
    • Quote: "I celebrate myself, and sing myself."
11. Ecopoetry
    
    • Title: "The Wild Iris"
    • Poet: Louise Glück
    • Quote: "You who do not remember / passage from the other world / I tell you I could speak again: whatever / returns from oblivion returns / to find a voice..."
12. Afrofuturist Poetry
    
    • Title: "Space is the Place"
    • Poet: Sun Ra (also a jazz musician)
    • Quote: "Space is the place of the mind; space is the place of the thoughts that are positive."
13. Pop Culture Poetry
    
    • Title: "The Princess Saves Herself in This One"
    • Poet: Amanda Lovelace
    • Quote: "but if you only shine light / on your flaws, all your perfects / will dim."
14. Transgressive Poetry
    
    • Title: "Hustle"
    • Poet: David Lerner
    • Quote: "Life's a fast car on a wet road, with no brakes and bald tires."
15. Multimedia Poetry
    
    • Title: "Inanimate Alice"
    • Poet: Kate Pullinger and Chris Joseph
    • Quote: "Inanimate Alice, Episode 4: 'Hometown' is a work that appeals not only to readers and writers but also to gamers and cinephiles."
16. Instapoetry
    
    • Title: "Salt."
    • Poet: Nayyirah Waheed
    • Quote: "if the ocean can calm itself, so can you. we are both salt water mixed with air."
17. Digital Minimalist Poetry
    
    • Title: "The New Census: An Anthology of Digital Poetry"
    • Poet: Stephane Mallarmé (the digital interpretation)
    • Quote: "Everything in the world exists in order to end up as a book."
18. Concrete Poetry
    
    • Title: "Easter Wings"
    • Poet: George Herbert
    • Quote: "With thee / O let me rise / As larks, harmoniously, / And sing this day thy victories."
19. Postcolonial Poetry
    
    • Title: "The God of Small Things"
    • Poet: Arundhati Roy
    • Quote: "Things can change in a day. All it takes is for something to happen that's not supposed to happen, and it sets off a chain of events that alters the course of everything."
20. Twitterature (Twitter Poetry)
    
    • Title: Various Tweets
    • Poet: Contemporary poets like Rupi Kaur, Warsan Shire, and others
    • Quote: "In the quietest hours of the night, I find solace in the echoes of your laughter. #moonlightwhispers"
21. Multimedia Poetry:
    
    • Title: "Hypertext Hotel"
    • Poet: Jodi Ann Stevenson
    • Quote: "In the digital corridors, every hyperlink is a door to a new verse."
22. Meme Poetry:
    
    • Title: "Internet Memes"
    • Poet: Various Internet Users
    • Quote: "Impact font wisdom, a generation's humor encapsulated in a single image."
23. Neo-Surrealist Poetry:
    
    • Title: "The Persistence of Memory"
    • Poet: Salvador Dalí (Visual Art)
    • Quote: "The only difference between me and a madman is that I am not mad."
24. Afrofuturist Poetry:
    
    • Title: "Parable of the Sower"
    • Poet: Octavia E. Butler
    • Quote: "All that you touch, you change. All that you change, changes you."
25. Virtual Reality Poetry:
    
    • Title: "VR Dreamscape"
    • Poet: VR Experience Designers
    • Quote: "In pixelated realms, dreams dance in virtual echoes."
26. Magnetic Poetry (Magnetic Words):
    
    • Title: Various Magnetic Poetry Kits
    • Poet: Various Magnetic Poets
    • Quote: "On fridges and desks, words collide to birth serendipitous verses."
27. Post-Internet Poetry:
    
    • Title: "Being and Time in the Internet Age"
    • Poet: Kenneth Goldsmith
    • Quote: "In the age of information, poetry is reclaimed from the detritus of the digital landscape."
28. Transcendentalist Poetry:
    
    • Title: "Walden"
    • Poet: Henry David Thoreau
    • Quote: "I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately."
29. Quantum Poetry:
    
    • Title: "The Dancing Wu Li Masters"
    • Poet: Gary Zukav (Science and Philosophy)
    • Quote: "The fact is, if you see it correctly, everything is dancing."
30. Asemic Writing Poetry:
    
    • Title: "The Asemic Poems"
    • Poet: Various Asemic Writers
    • Quote: "In the absence of recognizable text, the pen dances freely, creating abstract visual poetry."

Around Easter, I was in Helsinki. Something happened that has been puzzling me. Our flight was at 8am on 1 April 2024 and we were staying in central Helsinki. We checked train times and saw there was a train from the central station at about 5.15 that would get us to the airport around 6am. However, when we got to Helsinki central train station, the doors were shut on Kaivokatu. We couldn't go inside the station!I looked through the door windows but couldn't see anyone inside the station. In the end, we were lucky there was a bus waiting that was going to the airport and we got it.
I feel we must have made some mistake but can't work out what it was! I know the clocks changed in the early hours of 1 April but I can' t link hat to what happened. Maybe we had to enter the station at another entrance?
Please can someone explain this?
We loved being in Finland. It's a lovely country!

Alright so let me get down to it, I am 14 he is 15 and I have liked him since early March but have never spoken to him at this point only once in our design technology class we used to have together. Over the easter break he added me on snapchat and instagram and we have been talking everyday without fail non stop, over the easter break i was in japan with family so there was a time difference but we adjusted to it for the 2 weeks i was there. He'd ask me to send him daily vlogs of everything i'd do there and just to spam him so when he wakes up he has something to wake up to pretty much. Within the first day of us talking he had already started making silly jokes, my friend had said something funny so i put it on my instagram story and he replied to my text saying "oh just go text __" with a rolling eyes emoji as a joke. We had also talked about birthdays and I mentioned how his is in my calendar and notes and he said he knows mine too and called me cute when i said i have it in my notes. We have a mutual friend who had hinted to him to start talking to me and be my friend because i was too shy to and this friend had asked him within 3 days of me and him being friends if he likes me, he asked "does she like me (implying me) or does she like like me because i wouldnt mind either" he said he wasnt sure if he liked me or not because it was too early. Our mutual friend would tell me he would always say "oh we are young and theres no point of dating at this age" since he had one girlfriend previously and he is over it but is just tired of getting played with pretty much. Fast forward me and him and our friend made plans to go out together in London but she couldn't make it so it was just me and him, nothing was awkward when we met up we hugged and got on with it. He held doors open for ,e offered to pay for my stuff, offered me his food because I hardly bought anything (I don't enjoy KFC that much but he wanted to go so we did), we went to an art gallery together, he suggested we go on London eye together and if you don't know what that is it's pretty much a big ferris wheel. We were at a bus stop together this same day and we were talking about our favourite games pretty much getting to know eachother face to face and we held eye contact through the whole thing and we were both smiling. When we were going home on the train he asked me to sit opposite him which I was confused why and he wouldn't tell me why but I'm assuming it was to look at me because he didn't have a problem with sitting next to me at all. We were out until sunset pretty much 8 hours and we hugged when we went home and oh my god his fragrance was SO strong but smelt SO good and it stayed on me even when I was home. Anyway skipping forward to when we were back to school, I made him a gift basket with stuff from Japan and I gave it to him and he hugged me infront of all his friends and sent me videos of him opening everything and he was super happy with it. I told him the night before I was so so scared to give him it because what if he didn't like it and he told me he'd love it no matter what, i also mentioned how i tried my best with it and he said cute. We have matching bracelets which I suggested and he was fine with me getting them from japan for us, we have been wearing them everyday pretty much and everyone at school thinks we are dating. Now, the bracelets I bought from japan he complained it was quite tight on his wrist so I ordered us new ones, they are spiderman themed ones gwen and miles with a half heart magnet on each so when you put them together it makes a full heart. I gave it to him around 3 weeks ago and he was so happy with it, he walked past me and i said he looks zesty as a joke and he laughed and told me to shut up but said thank you once again. We play games together all the time and our main thing is roblox horror games we both adore them and it's so fun playing them with him and pretty much everyone teases us at school about eachother. Anyway, 2 weeks ago I got a dm from a girl at my school asking for my snap as she wanted to tell me something, in summary she accused him of taking his bracelet off around his friends and saying he was talking to other girls to cover up the fact he was talking to me pretty much embarrassed of me. I sobbed my eyes out and texted him asking to talk, he said sure and I expected him to text me but he ended up calling me, I talked to him about all this and he was shocked and proved it all false, at this point we had been wearing our 2nd pair of bracelets since he complained about the other but 1 day he forgot it at his dads house so we didn't have it that day. He said to prove to me he never takes it off he's going to wear the bracelet that is tight on his wrist and I thought it was so so sweet, we were on facetime for so long and his mum ended up inviting me over to their house and i of course went. He also offered me to look through his phone to prove he isn’t talking to other girls or trying to cover it up which i thought was weird if he didn’t like me? Later that night I texted him saying i'm getting mixed signals off him and I kinda played it off as "oh we are friends and im scared u like me" so he said no he doesnt but i wanna think its because of the way i worded it, moving on i met up with him last period and our other friend pretended to drop me off and he said "heres your girlfriend __" and he said "ah thanks __" basically not flinching to me being called his girlfriend, we walked together and at this point i am also friends with his sister. We were walking and we went to his room, he let me do his makeup and he downloaded my favourite game (Final Fantasy 7) to play since I was there and we played a bit together, we played some minecraft too and it was hillarious and a roblox single player horror. I know it sounds childish but i really love these things, we ate dinner in his room and I also noticed he had a shelf dedicated to the gift basket i made him, literally nothing on that shelf but the stuff i bought him which was so cute. He also has a shelf dedicated to fragrances and he got me to pick my favourite and coincidentally was the one he wore when we went out together and i told him how it stayed on me all day and he said "good that means its good". Then I had to go home, I was at his home pretty much for 3 hours and I had to go since he had rugby, anyway when I was leaving I gave him a hug and I felt silly so i tightened it slightly and I felt him do it back which made me really happy, I said bye and walked down the stairs and I could hear it took a while for him to close the door which made me think he watched me walk downstairs and my theory was proven right when he texted me after saying how nice my mums car is. I texted him after thank you so much for having me over and he said i need to come over again and we said he could come around mine next time. Later that day I posted some pics I took on my story which he was fine with as he viewed them and didn't say anything. The next day he texted me during last period asking if i could take some specific ones down as his entire class was pretty much teasing him and he got tired of it, he usually doesn't care what others think about us and has literally told me that before himself but I completely understood as it was pretty much his whole class so of course I did and he said he didn't want people to think we're dating, I apologized profusely and things were back to normal, the day after I get a text from my friend and she asked if he was texting me during last period the day prior and i said yes how did u know and she said he had a baby smile on his face which made me happy. Anyway, since then it has just been pretty much mixed signals he said we should go ice skating together because i mentioned i never have and we are also planning to go painting in the park together next week. Earlier this week I think Tuesday? I curled my hair and i sent him a snap of it as we were planning to play together and he replied to it saying "Woah" and i asked what do u mean woah as i didnt know what snap he was replying to, we got on a ps party and i kept pestering him to tell me why he said that and he was making excuses saying he replied to my story but it showed up as snap and basically just getting nervous and bothered until he finally said "your hair looked very nice" he also complimented my necklace last week and i have only been wearing that and whenever he sees it he comments on it which makes me smile. On the Tuesday he also remembered what times I had my tutor so we planed when we could play which i thought was really sweet too. On Monday I sent him a lot of videos of me yapping and i said sorry for the spam at the end and he said "wdym sorry for the spam yap all u want" so then Wednesday or Tuesday I can't remember which, I literally sent him over an hours worth of videos I'm NOT exaggerating and it was of me literally just talking and he watched every single one and replied to them too and even saved some in our chats, he has tendencies to save random pics and vids of me in our chat. Today he was meant to do district sports for our school so he didn't wear his bracelet as he didn't want to break it but then last minute they said he couldn't go and i went to his form / homeroom and checked up on him and he genuinely looked upset which almost made me cry and i wanted to hug him so bad but everyone was there and i didnt know if he'd be okay with it so throughout today i've literally been sending him videos and texts to make sure he's okay now i'm just waiting on a reply. his replies are SHIT literally all his friends and his ex say this too so its not just a me thing. also is it a good sign if he introduced me to all his friends? over the weekend i was in a ps party with him and 3 others for like 2 days! He's generally a really friendly person nobody dislikes but I also think he likes me and literally everyone i tell about this says he does! I don't know tho because i really really really like this guy hes the first guy ive ever actually liked so i dont know what to do now :( Does he like me?!
EDIT: I also forgot to mention we hung out together at school on monday and he was fine with me grabbing his wrists and dragging him around :D ! We also walked past eachother yesterday and he was smiling really hard when he saw me and went "eww" as a joke because we do that to eachother and i just went "eww shut up" back while giggling
UPDATE 17/05/24: he said he wants to meet my friends? i asked one of them and they said its a thing guys do to get closer to their crushes, anyway we were playing a bunch of stupid games together and he kept laughing when i’d get mad and he would abandon me in scary games to make me panic and come back and when id be the only one left he would whisper RUN and stuff and my friend said today at school he was looking at me

My LO is 34 months old / almost 3yo. He used to be a very good sleeper. After the bedtime routine, he would fall asleep by himself. We just had to tuck him in.
But since a few weeks he’ll do everything to not sleep. At bedtime and before his nap. He’ll use every excuse to stay awake. Like cuddling, he wants to change his socks/pyjamas, he needs to go potty etc. If i leave the room, he’ll climb out of his bed and stand by the door to yell for me. Getting him to sleep takes 1-1,5 hours everyday.
We tried dropping his nap, but then he’ll get cranky and he’ll throw tantrums (especially after preschool). We tried introducing quiet time but he’ll still be tired with tantrums. But if he takes a nap, he’ll wake up at night. He has been waking up every day at 5am. He does goes back to sleep after some cuddles. I’m a very tired mom who is desperate for some tips. Does anyone have the experience? How do I get my toddler to stop fighting his bedtime? HELP!