I've been doing home workout for 3 months now and I'm using dumbells (7-10kg) and bodyweight workout. And I noticed that my shoulder is not that big. It looks like it is slightly bent or maybe is it genes? or should i just wait for some time for it to grow/be consistent.
here's my routine:
Day 1: Chest and Triceps
Push-Ups: 4 sets of 8-12 reps Dumbbell Chest Press: 3 sets of 10-15 reps Dumbbell Flyes: 3 sets of 10-15 reps Tricep Dips: 3 sets of 8-12 reps Dumbbell Tricep Kickbacks: 3 sets of 10-15 reps Tricep Extensions: 3 sets of 8-12 reps
Day 2: Back and Biceps
Pull-Ups: 3 sets AMRAP Bent-Over Rows: 3 sets of 8-12 reps Dumbbell Pullovers: 3 sets of 10-15 reps Chin-Ups: 3 sets AMRAP Dumbbell Bicep Curls: 3 sets of 8-12 reps Hammer Curls: 3 sets of 10-15 reps
Day 3: Legs and Shoulders
Dumbell Squats: 4 sets of 6-8 reps Dumbbell Lunges: 3 sets of 10-12 reps per leg Bulgarian Split Squats: 3 sets of 10-12 reps per leg Dumbbell Shoulder Press: 4 sets of 8-12 reps Lateral Raises: 3 sets of 10-15 reps Dumbbell Rear Delt Flyes: 3 sets of 10-15 reps

I have been told that some of the days below have repeated movements so I wanted some advice here
Push 1 Db Incline Press Chest push machine Chest Fly Machine DB lateral raise Rope Tricep extension Skull crushers
Pull 1 Pull up Standing cable pull (single arm) Sitting Lat pull down Standing lat pull down barbell curl Seated DB curl
Push 2 High to Low cable push Low to High cable push Dips Db incline press DB lateral raise DB shoulder press
Pull 2 Cross body hammer curl Seated Row Seated Lat Pulldown Cable curl Standing lat pulldown

Hello all, I’m hoping someone can shed some light on what’s going on with me.
Male 29 US
No medications, taking Vitamin D and B12
For the past few months I’ve been experiencing the following symptoms. Random pain in my left armpit/shoulder area right where my arm connects to my torso. Sometimes the pain will shoot down my arm to my fingertips. Recently I’ve developed new more alarming symptoms. I start yawning uncontrollably despite having plenty of sleep. At the same time as I’m yawing, my head will feel very “full” I feel pressure in the back on neck on the left side. The left side of my jaw will hurt. My ears pop. And I feel lost, confused, sometimes even like I’m disconnected i guess? I’ll have trouble understanding when someone is talking to me. It’s almost like I don’t feel present if that makes sense? All these symptoms happen at the exact same time. Meaning it’s either I’m feeling all of them OR I feel completely fine. I’ve even narrowed down when the symptoms start. When I wake up and I’m doing things around the house I feel completely fine, but the second I get into my car the symptoms all hit me like a truck and they don’t stop for the rest of the day. They will continue even when I get to work. The only time the symptoms will stop is if I’m actively engaged in something work related, conversation, or anything stimulating. This has been going on for about 3-4 months.
I don’t know who to turn to anymore, I just want some answers. SOMETHING to bring up to my PCP. Anything. I’ve been to 5 doctors, I’ve gone to the ER twice. Blood tests came back fine except for really low Vitamin D (which I’ve been working on). Had chest x rays and those were fine too. Everyone is telling me I’m fine, I’ve even tried more “non traditional” approaches like Asian teas, and shady chiropractors. Nothing is helping. Doctors are just saying it’s stress it’s stress. I’ve lived with stress my entire life. Why is this happening now? What can it be? What can I do? Somebody please help me because I feel trapped.

Stats: * 33 yo Male 88kg 167cm
Current RM’s:

Squat: 155kgs
Bench: 100kgs
Deadlift: 170kgs

This cycle’s goal(s):

Increase RM’s while addressing mid-range weaknesses which I notice in all Big 3 lifts.
Work on Shoulder, Chest, Arms, and Back aesthetics/hypertrophy.

Program: General Gainz
Frequency: Every other day
A. * T1 Squat * T2 Bench Pin Press * T3 Kroc Rows * T3 EZ Bar Curls * T3 Leg Extensions * T3 Calf Extension
B. * T1 Overhead Press * T2 Rack Pulls * T3 Lat Pulldowns * T3 Lateral Raises * T3 Facepulls * T3 Cable Rope Overhead Triceps Extension
C. * T1 Bench Press * T2 Pin Squat * T3 Kroc Rows * T3 Triceps Press * T3 Pec Deck Flys * T3 Straight Bar Triceps Pushdown
D. * T1 Deadlift * T2 Incline Bench (30 deg) Pin Press * T3 Lat Pulldowns * T3 Hammer Curls * T3 Leg Curls * T3 Back Extension
Notes:

All T2 variations of the T1 lifts are pin variations, set at the height where the weakness is. For Squat it’s slightly above parallel, Bench slightly above chest, Rackpulls — mid shin to below the knees.
T3’s will be done at 4MRS, with weights @ 8-12 rep range.
For arms, I remember seeing a u/gzcl comment recommending these movements, and placed them at where he recommended they be placed.

Questions & Concerns

Do I have too much tricep work on bench day? Or can triceps be worked that much? I really want to keep triceps press since they’re like dips which I can’t do for many reps yet, and I feel them in my chest too.
Should I bother working on calves? I feel like I just put them there to have an equal amount of T3s across all days. I’m thinking more back extensions but I’d just be coming from that on Deadlift day.
I have been doing Kroc Rows and Lat Pulldowns for a little over a year now. Should I move them up to T2? And as Pendlays instead of Krocs.

So I have a strain somewhere in my shouldetricep and I’ve been told it will take about 6 weeks to recover. I can still workout my legs and back and do only one or two chest and tricep workouts still. Is there anything I can do to help slow the muscle I’m sure to lose in that time?

Summary

I competed for the first time at the USPA Drug Tested Emerald City Classic hosted by DOP Strength Gym in Kirkland, WA on May 18th, 2024.
Here's my Instagram post with videos of my third attempts and a photo with my participation medal (I was the only 110kg submaster male lifter).
I went 9/9 with no red lights, broke my gym PRs on squat and deadlift, and had an awesome time. I competed in the submaster 110kg class in raw full power, weighed in (24h before) at 105.7 kg, and totaled 545kg. I planned to take very light openers, big jumps for my second attempts (15kg for squat and deadlift, 10kg for bench), and then smaller jumps (7.5kg for squat and deadlift, 5kg for bench) for my thirds, and I stuck to that plan. All of my lifts felt great and moved fast except for my third bench, which was a little bit of a grind. My strategy paid off because I had a much more enjoyable day going 9/9 a little light, compared to how I would have felt if I had missed any of my first or second attempts--which I saw happen to plenty of other lifters.
The gym was a little crowded with 60 lifters in 4 flights but the meet was super well run, with good vibes all around. The meet director was super clear at the rules briefing and the spotteloader crew absolutely hauled ass and the whole meet was over at 3 pm. I also got to see several master's lifters set state and national records, including a 72 year old woman, so that was awesome to watch.
My friend and training partner, who is an experienced master's lifter and meet judge, showed up to handle me and that made a huge difference in my experience. He really helped me a ton with understanding the pace, timing my warmups, loading the bar, chalking my back, cheering me on, telling me when to rest, eat, hydrate, everything. He really did a fantastic job.

Prep

I took Steve DeNovi's free 3x Bench - Conventional Deadlift program and ran Block 3 and the peaking block (10 weeks), with modifications to the accessory selection and split to make it 4 days a week. My weekly split was:

Mon: Primary squat, OHP, pull ups, bicep curls
Tue: Primary bench, secondary deadlift (cluster singles), chest supported rows, face pulls, tricep pushdowns
Thu: Secondary squat, paused squat, tertiary bench (Larsen press), lat pulldowns, DB incline press
Fri: Primary deadlift, paused deadlift, secondary bench, bent over rows, lateral raises

I really enjoyed this program and got a lot out of it. I felt like the peak timing was just right for my meet.

Squat

Squats felt great in prep. My training max for the first block was 425 lbs and I upped it to 435 for the second block. I didn't feel like I under or overshot any of my prep lifts, my RPEs felt accurate.
There was a little confusion about whether squats would be done on a 25kg squat bar or a 20kg power bar, but they ended up using the 20kg Kabuki power bar. The knurling felt great on my back.

170kg. The main thing in my head was to take my time setting up, which I did, and I think it helped calm my nerves. When I unracked, the bar tilted to the right slightly, but I was able to level it out as I walked out. Stance felt solid, got a strong brace, weight felt light and moved fast.
185kg. Better unrack. Felt lighter than I expected.
192.5kg. Beat my gym PR of 415lbs. My handler said my third looked like it moved better than my second. I felt a cramp in my right inner hamstring as I locked it out though, and it's feeling sore today. I felt in control the whole rep but I think I kinda dive-bombed it and went a little too deep and that over-stretched my hammie. Looking back at the videos, I think I rushed the descent on all my squats, even though I had been practicing a slower descent during prep. Something to work on cleaning up before my next meet.

Bench

I kind of wrote off bench for this meet since I made poor progress in prep. For the first 5 week block my training max was 265 lbs and I felt like I was undershooting, so I increased it to 275 lbs, but once I started hitting singles at 250+ they weren't moving well and my butt started coming off the bench. I fixed that issue late in prep by setting my feet further back. My left shoulder had also been bothering me a bit lately, plus I started getting some tennis elbow on my left from the bent over rows or something. So I went with attempts I knew for sure I could hit, and didn't get too excited for bench. I also really felt that bench was a natural "valley" between the peaks of squat and deadlift, in terms of the energy level of the meet.

100kg. A gimme attempt just to practice the commands for real.
110kg. This was the best bench single I've had lately--setup, foot placement, arch, unrack, controlled descent, pause, and press, everything felt solid and it went up so fast that my friend who was working the scoring table shouted "Put some weight on the bar!"
115kg. Unrack felt great, controlled eccentric and pause felt good, got a fast press command, but I think my back slipped a little on the pad, which was kind of slick, and I didn't get enough leg drive, and forgot to cue bar path, so I pressed it straight up off my chest and hit a sticking point, then my back cramped up and my arms started shaking. I barely got it locked out. I originally wanted to aim for 120kg on my third attempt but now I'm glad I didn't because I for sure would have missed it.

I'm pretty satisfied with just getting 9 white lights on bench because I was so worried about my butt popping up or having a brain fart and jumping the start or rack command, and those things didn't happen.

Deadlift

Deadlifts are my best event (long arms) and the pauses and cluster singles in DeNovi's program really helped dial in my setup and make me stronger off the floor. Having access to a deadlift bar in training was nice, as the whip might have thrown me off if I had only ever trained on a stiff bar. Liquid chalk + hook grip + Kabuki bar = unlimited grip.
Toward the end of prep I changed my setup to get rid of my dynamic "hip pump" wedge and just sink straight into my starting position, set my hook grip, and just patiently "leg press the floor away." This change really paid off because it helped me get the most out of the deadlift bar and made my lockouts a breeze.
I was worried about the back cramp during my third bench interfering with my deadlift, but as I started warming up, my back felt fine, however I was feeling that third squat in my right hamstring. Thankfully the pain subsided once I got warm again.

215kg. Felt light, as it should have, like a last warmup. Not much else to say.
230kg. My handler said "earn your third attempt!" I executed my setup and pull exactly like my first attempt and was surprised by how fast it broke the floor and how easy the lockout was. I heard someone say "that's a good hinge!"
237.5kg. I almost went for 240 but kept it conservative because I was worried about my hamstring. I kinda regret holding back now. I took a couple extra seconds to build up a really hard brace before methodically executing my setup. Just as the bar passed my knees they shook a little, and the crowd started cheering for me, but the bar didn't slow down at all so I knew I had it in the bag for 9/9 and just felt ecstatic.

A spectator walked up to me afterward and gave me a really good compliment--he said my deadlifts looked like a hydraulic machine!

Next steps

Now that this meet's behind me, my main training priority will be getting my bench up. I'm going to reevaluate my approach to frequency, volume, specific vs. hypertrophy work, and my diet.
For squat, I think I'll continue doing pauses and maybe add tempo descent work or something to break my dive-bombing habit because I don't want to pull a hammy with a heavier weight at my next meet.
My deadlift feels locked in, so I'm not going to fix what isn't broken. I want to work in some RDLs in my offseason since I haven't done them in a while, but that's it.
There's another USPA meet at the same venue in late September which is kinda soon but I'm really tempted to do it so I can go in more confident, open a little higher, set some new meet PRs, and get my money's worth with this USPA membership. It's about 17 weeks away now so that's enough time to have a few weeks of offseason before another prep cycle.

I've known about these games from many years ago, but never tried them till this year when I got XV as a gift from my brother.
Already bought the Pixel Remasters (I-VI, including Strangers of Paradise which seems to have a connection to FF I), VII-X (which includes crisis core, the Remakes and X-2), 12, Type-0, 15 and 16.
But I'm curious about Final Fantasy XI and XIII, because one is online from PS2 as far as I remember and the other one I can't find it in the PS store. Is there a way to play XI? Haven't checked steam for them yet.
So far, I've completed some of them in this order (there's comments about my experience playing each game so you can skip this):
XV was the first one and I loved the characters. I cried a lot with the ending and loved the interactions between them. The camping, cooking, photos and dialogues (Ignis coming up with new recipes while the rest of the gang is dying) felt so compelling that even losing the Regalía hurt me. I swear I've seen Regalia shed a tear when it reached it's end like Going Merry in One Piece. Regalía was the fifth member I didn't even know till I lost it. Can't say I had any high expectation because I played the game without any idea of what to expect (didn't watch any trailer, clip, etc. Also, didn't know about the Fabula Nova Crystallis and it's connection to FF XIII). Although I played the base version because I forgot to download the Royal pack or some sort of update (some bosses were different or missing in the last chapter from I've seen in videos). So I'll replay it once I'm done with the rest.
VI was the next. I've heard many good things about it and they were all true. The intro was pretty much a huge spoiler of the ending lol. Loved the story and it's characters, also cried with it. Celes theme still makes me cry when I remember the cliff scene when Cid dies. The Cataclysm and World of Ruin were so unexpected but still so enjoyable (except for the cultist tower, hated that place, although it's music was wonderfully ominous). Kefka was SO charismatic and fun as a villain tha I'm not even sure the dialogue of him being the first attempt of infusing Magic into someone would implicate that he could have either been a wicked person before the experiment and it turned him way worse than before (like captain america with the serum just boosting what he was already) or just some random person/soldier who got his mind totally destroyed and went mad in the process (might explain the "You sound like the lines from a self-help book" rant).
Then I played FF I. Tbh, the time travel and the "first boss was actually the final boss" twist was the least I expected from the first game. It was enjoyable, although the magic system was kind of bothersome. Thank god that there was elixirs. What I read about the Warmech was true. Harder than the final boss, got myself searching for it like 50 minutes till it decided to appear, just to get myself obliterated. After a few more hours grinding and 4 attempts, finally got to beat it.
Started FF II right after finishing FF I. The key terms were very interesting to get more dialogue and info from the characters. The levelling systems was both good and bad. I enjoyed the idea of Magic and weapon mastery levelling up the more I used them, but as someone who likes to overlevel and get lots of supplies just to avoid using them, it really got tedious and had to resort to hitting myself. Really liked the whole war aspect. Can't say I've felt anything for the characters, even the permanent dead ones. They were just joining and then whoops dead already, except for Minwu. Bloodsword almost obliterated the Emperor in hell lol
FF III was a curious one. Read about the job system and found it very interesting. Also, that Onion Knights were both the worst and best job in the game and I decided to complete the game as just OK from the very beginning, minus some segments that required me to use Magic to either unlock or get inside some places. It was hell. For the first time in my life (and these games), I had to use ítems in battle to kill some enemies which straight killed me in 3 turns or less, although the grinding part wasn't new for me. But farming the Onion equipment, that's another story. Having played games like Runescape I thought grinding for a specific item wouldn't be so hard like there, but sweet RNGesus it was truely one of the longest grinds. The whole "floating continent is just a small part of the real world" reminded me of Hunter x Hunter's Dark continent.
Currently playing FF IV and I think I made a mistake. In the mist cave, I died fighting the boss, then went straight to it again, defeated it, but the game was using a save file from before I got every chest in there, so I'm not sure if I completely lost content for the trophies because I noticed it after getting a bard character. Not sure if I should restart from the beginning.
Still have to play FF:

V
VII (leaving it for the last, including Crisis Core, because of the Remakes). Also means I need to watch the Advent Children movie.
VIII
IX
X and X-2
XI if it's even possible
XII
XIII 1, 2, 3 and Type-0
XIV (saw some bosses from previous games, but don't have the context)
XV (just because of the Royal additions). Need to watch the movie too.
XVI (when I get a PS5)
Strangers of Paradise (just know it's connected to FF I and many Chaos memes)

Hi all,
Not sure if this is the right place, but I'm an intermediate lifter but have been inconsistent during COVID. I'm looking to do a hypertrophy focused, cut/body recomposition program. Here's the 6-day PPL program I have now that's based on the equipment available at my gym:
Monday (push) --Barbell Bench (3x4-6) --High, Medium, Low cable fly (1x10-12 each) --Seated Barbell Overhead Press (3x10-12) --Standing Cable Tricep Pushdown w/ rope (3x15) --Ab machine, targeting core abs (3x15)
Tuesday (pull) --Overhand Grip Plate Loaded Lat Pulldown (3x10-12) --TBar Row (3x10) --Cable Face Pull (3x12) --Incline Dumbbell Curl (3x12) --Decline Russian Twist w/ Weights, for obliques (3x10)
Wednesday (Legs, quad/glute focus) --Abduction/Adduction superset warm-up (3x15) --Barbell Back Squat, light warm-up (2x10) --Hack Squat (3x10) --Pendulum Squat (3x10) --Seated Calf Raise Machine (3x12-15) --Back Extension with weights (3x10-12) --Standing Glute Kickback Machine (3x-10-12) --Leg Extension (3x10-12)
Thursday (Push) --Incline Barbell Bench Press (3x5-7) --Machine Supported Dips (3x10) --Plate Loaded Machine Overhead Press (3x10) --Standing Cable Overhead Tricep Extension (3x10) --Hanging Leg Raise (3x10 + hold until failure on last set)
Friday (Pull) --Machine Supported Pull Ups, mixed grip (3x8-10) --Chest Supported High Row (3x8-10) --Single Arm Cable Lateral Raise (3x10-12) --Seated Cable Curl (3x10-12) --Standing Cable Torso Rotations, obliques (3x10-12)
Saturday (Legs, Hamstring/glutes focus) --Abduction/Adduction superset warm-up (3x15) (I have a bad hip flexor, so I try to do more) --Leg Press Machine warm-up (2x12) ----Calf Raise superset w/ leg press (2x20) --Barbell Good Morning (3x10) --Dumbbell Walking Jump Lunges (3x10-12) --Hip Thrust Machine (3x8-10) --Back Extension with weights (3x12) --Seated Leg Curl Machine (3x10-12)
Sunday --Light cardio, elliptical or incline walk. Stretching
Questions: 1) If I'm cutting, should I add more cardio? I work from home, so getting steps is more of a challenge daily.
2) Should I add more to shoulder and trap exercises? I tried splitting up shoulders and deltoids, but I'm not sure if I have sufficient reps for them.
3) Do I need to do more core exercises? I read conflicting info on the amount of ab workouts needed ranging from a few specific core routines a week to none at all. I tried to do only one core exercise a day as a middle ground.
4) Should I add wrist exercises like farmer carries on Sunday? Or do the other workouts suffice in that area?
Notes: A) I was lifting regularly since 2018ish. Since the pandemic in 2020, I haven't stayed consistent due to a new job and travel. I'm starting a WFH position now so hopefully I can stay on track much easier rather than trying to accommodate with limited hotel gyms
B) I've been testing some of this workout here and there (see travel above), and I've generally felt good, tough leg days took a while to recover. I definitely feel it in my legs and chest, but less so in shoulders and back, but I'm not sure if that's normal
C) Push/Pull workouts take me about an hour, including any wait times. Leg days take about 1.25-1.5 hours simply because they're exhausting. Sometimes I skip the last leg extension/curl depending on energy. I don't want to spend more than that daily unless I'm incorporating cardio.
D) Diet will get on track too. I'm currently about 5'5 177. Looking to get to about 140ish to get back to about 7-8% body fat. I'll be eating about 1400 cals/day (metabolic rate is roughly 1900 or so) and getting 150g protein a day
Thank you! All feedback is welcome.

(19M, 5'9 155 lbs.) Hi, this is gonna be a bit long, but let me explain the entire situation so far:
Going back about a year or so, I started noticing an elevated heart rate above what I usually would have. I have an apple watch that allows me to check my heart rate, and around this time I started to get notifications that my heart rate was above average (in the 120s to 130s range while resting as opposed to my normal 60-80 range). This happened a few times along with some very minor chest pain / tightness, however after laying down for a few hours / going to bed it would usually return to normal. Around the same time I got diagnosed with anxiety and ADHD and placed on an SSRI to help my anxiety after trying ADHD meds and not liking them. I never really had any incidents with high heart rate after that, so I had assumed it was just anxiety causing it (and that may still be the case). A few months went by and I ended up starting college and got myself a girlfriend. As I ended up finding out, SSRIs, while great, have the unfortunate side effect of erectile dysfunction, so I weaned off my meds so I could prioritize my love life. There were a few incidents after this where my heart rate was above average, but again I just chalked this up to anxiety, as it would usually go away on its own. At one point I went into my on campus doctor's office just to verify my heart was okay after an elevated heart rate the night before, and they gave me an EKG which came up clear. Months go by, and things are fine, besides a slight uptick in anxiety. Unfortunately however, my relationship began to crumble and my anxiety skyrocketed, and we eventually broke up, which led me to talking to my doctor and getting placed back on anxiety medication. However, I really didn't like how SSRI's impacted my libido, so after trying a few more SSRI's I was placed on Buspirone. I love Buspirone, and it's made a noticeable difference on my confidence / reducing anxiety. When I take my full dose at once (30 mg), I tend to get a bit dizzy / nauseous, however when split up into 10 mg taken at breakfast lunch and dinner I have no noticeable side effects. I will say (and I don't know if this is in any way important but I'm just naming everything possible), I have noticed that since stopping the SSRIs and starting Buspirone I tend to ejaculate VERY fast which is abnormal for me, and although I would like to fix that it is not my main concern. Moving on though, after about a month or two after being placed on Buspirone, we get to where my heart problems start. As someone who had never used any substances my entire life, leaving home and going to college gave me the freedom to try new things, and although I know it's not great, on weekends me and my friends will get together and drink or occasionally smoke weed / take an edible. I was worried at first about interactions with my medication, but after some research all anything online could tell me was that I may get drunk faster / more nauseous and dizzy, which wasn't too big of a deal for me. I had tried weed earlier in college and didn't like the way it made me feel, however after being placed on Buspirone I decided to try it again and actually enjoyed the feeling, so I started doing it more on the weekends as opposed to just drinking, which leads us to the incident. Me and some friends had just sat down to watch a movie, and all taken an edible. Time passed, and I started to notice that my heart rate was extremely elevated, way more than I was usually used to. I checked my heart rate, and found that my watch was displaying an average of 160 bpm. At first I thought I was just having a bad high and tried to calm myself. I laid on the floor and put some ice on my forehead, but nothing was helping. I checked my heart rate again and saw that my watch was displaying 190, which really freaked me out as that was way higher than I had ever seen before. I had my sober friend call Public Safety for me, and they came to my dorm room and did a basic check up on me. They said that I had a fever, and when they took my heart rate they got something in the 160s range. Their explanation was that my anxiety, when combined with being high and likely being sick made my heart rate elevated, which made sense at the time. I went into my college's health services to follow up the next day since my heart rate was still elevated (in the 120s-130s range), however they again told me it was probably just anxiety. A few days went by and my heart rate was STILL above average, so I decided to double check with my real doctor off campus. About a day before this I had also stopped taking my medication to see if it could be the cause for my elevated heart rate. The doctors took my vitals and immediately noticed that had very high blood pressure and an elevated heart rate, to the point where they sent in a second doctor to recheck my vitals and make sure it was correct. After talking to me and having me give a run down of my symptoms, they had me schedule an appointment with a cardiologist and told me that if I ever experience chest pain and a heart rate above 100 bpm that wouldn't go down to go to the hospital. I had also told them about how I stopped taking my medication and they told me that that was fine and to tell the cardiologist about it. About a week passes, and I have my cardiologist appointment in a few days. I had been up the night before working on my final exams, so I hadn't gotten much sleep, and besides a breakfast sandwich that I had for lunch I hadn't eaten much either. I had been experiencing chest pain all day, but I assumed it was being caused by my lack of sleep, so after classes I went and took a nap. After a few hours I woke up, and immediately noticed that I still had chest pain. I checked my apple watch, and my heart rate was displaying roughly 90-110 bpm while laying down, which on top of the chest pain made me worried since my doctor had told me that that was cause to go to the hospital. I called my parents to tell them about it, and they drove to the school and had me sit in the car and eat some food they had made to see if it would help at all. However, even after this, my heart rate was still above 100 bpm and I still had chest pain, so my mom made the call to bring me to the hospital. While on the way to the hospital, out of nowhere my heart rate increased to about 170-180 bpm, which freaked me out. We arrived at the hospital, and they immediately gave me an EKG to make sure I wasn't going to drop dead. During this time, I also was shaking a lot and couldn't make myself stop. Eventually they took me into a room and decided to run some tests on me. The tests they did are as follows: BASIC METABOLIC PANEL, CBC WITH DIFF, TROPONIN NH, D DIMER DEEP VEIN THROMB LEVEL, TSH REFLEX, X-RAY CHEST PA AND LATERAL, and ECG-12 LEAD. While I'm not a doctor, from what they told me and from what I can see, everything turned up pretty normal. My potassium was a smidge low, as well as my MCV and MPV, and my Monocyte (absolute) was a tad high, but generally nothing to worry about. The website where I'm viewing my test results display my ECG as abnormal and an attached document says I have left atrial enlargement as well as sinus tachycardia, but they only mentioned sinus tachycardia in the hospital so I assume that it was just the machine reading my test results and giving its own diagnosis. Long story short though, I left the hospital a few hours later, and although I still had a slightly elevated heart rate they said I was fine to go about life normally and to follow up with my cardiologist. Cut to the present, and I just met with my cardiologist a couple days ago. I gave him the general rundown of the above story (but didn't mention the edible as a precursor to the 190 bpm heartrate as my mom was in the next room over and the door was wide open), and after checking my vitals he told me that although I did have an elevated heart rate and high blood pressure, my chest pain probably wasn't a huge concern and that he wasn't too worried it was anything life threatening. He told me I could resume taking my meds (which I had temporarily replaced with ashwagandha supplements while I waited for the appointment and have since stopped taking), and had me wear a little device that monitored my heart rate for 24 hours, which I'm set to return in a couple days. He also told me that when I returned it he would check my results and give me an echocardiogram and go from there. So, with any luck, he should be able to figure things out then. However, I wanted to post this to see if anyone could help me get any ideas on what it could be that I could run by him to help speed things up. Oh and one last thing, if you can't think of anything in regards to what could be causing my elevated heart rate, I actually would like to know why I'm ejaculating so fast so I can fix it because its gotten to the point where I can't even enjoy masturbating because of how fast I cum.
In case I missed anything, here's a list of my symptoms (although I have no idea if they're all correlated):
- High heart rate (anywhere from 90-190 bpm)
- High blood pressure
- Chest pain / tightness on my left side and does not hurt more when I breath in / out (every now and then pain extends to my neck and shoulder)
- Frequently tired
- Insomnia (could be correlated with the above symptom lol)
- Get out of breath faster than usual
- Anxiety (already had this though)
- Mild depression (probably from my breakup)
- Lack of motivation (probably from my ADHD)
- Very rare and random spasms in my neck
- About 10 pounds weight loss in the past few months
- Headaches (could be from the meds)
- Sexual Dysfunction
- Minor rash under my eyes that’s been coming / going
- Eczema / rash flare ups past few months above my eyes, on my inner elbows, on my hands, and on my neck that I’ve been able to get rid of with a steroid cream
- Wrists, elbows, knees and ankles (although many joints in general) tend to bother me / crack a lot
- Glands under my neck are frequently swollen
- Rashes on the tops of my feet and toes
- Multiple gray / white hairs appearing in the last few months
- Probably something minor that I'm forgetting but if I can't think of it it probably isn't important (will update this list if new symptoms arise)
Brief family history:
- Grandma (moms side) has rheumatoid arthritis - Grandma (dads side) had multiple sclerosis - Great Grandma (moms side) had Alzheimer's - Aunt (moms side) has an undiagnosed heart problem - Aunt (moms side) has rheumatoid arthritis and Reynaud's, inconclusive testing for lupus - Aunt (dads side) has something? something to do with swelling of feet and ankles? not too sure - Mom had anemia

My personal theories (I'm not a doctor though so obviously not too sure): Autoimmune Disease + Dysautonomia: - From a list of symptoms, I have experienced all of the following at some point over the last month: Lightheaded when standing up, nausea, brain fog, fast heart rate, high blood pressure, changes in bowel movements over the course of the past few months (both constipation and diarrhea), fatigue, sexual dysfunction, chest pain and discomfort, shortness of breath, heart palpitations, sleeping problems, dizziness, sweating a lot, watery eyes, frequent headaches, changes in body temperature, drooling (when I sleep), mood swings, anxiety, and sensitivity to light. Based on this a potential theory could be an autoimmune disorder on top of a heart condition? Also explains the elevated monocyte (absolute) levels. Serotonin Syndrome: - I was doing research and discovered that Buspirone, when taken with other medication that increases serotonin, can cause serotonin syndrome. After another google search, I found out that weed can increase serotonin levels. The only hole in this theory is that I stopped taking Buspirone after the initial spike in heart rate / blood pressure but had no noticeable changes.
TLDR: I have a high heart rate and blood pressure and can't figure out why

[Disclaimer ; Going to be a bit long and cringe]
Hi guys,
I am in a weird spot right now. I'm going to give you a summation of the events that led me here
1st GF left me and came back to me (5x) -> We finally break-up -> Met my 2nd girlfriend -> It was fantastic -> 5 months in I discovered that she lied about 95% of everything -> I forgave her -> We lasted for 11 more months -> Over the course of those 11 months, I was already deteriorating but I stayed because I loved her -> She said that she is also unhappy and unfulfilled because of our relationship [LDR] -> I break up with her because she deserves someone better, even though I loved her very much -> Met this girl Liked her for 2 months Formally met each other when our friend group drank together Found out she had a boyfriend Talked as friends They break up We hit it off Do couple things Ex comes back Ghosts me Sleeps with him I ask her if she's going to ghost me again and go back with him She says no-> Christmas break Ghosts me Went through a phase -> Met another girl We hit it off I found out she then slept with another guy hours before meeting up with me -> I left Stalked my "classmate's" Instagram they are now officially together [She and her ex] Try to cut her off We became blockmates We became groupmates Now..I am checkmate -> I try to ignore her, can't as we're always put closer for some reason -> I try to work it out with her -> She does something fckd up [Rinse and repeat x infinity] -> I bit the bullet and reached out again I drove her We talked -> Asked her if she wants us to just keep ignoring each other She says no -> We talk for a couple of days She ghosts me again I see her everyday as not only is she in my class, but we're in the same group -> Now, I am here.
So.. what is "here". Well, I realized that I was being toxic to myself. I have some serious issues. I hated being myself. I hated being alone. I can't open up to my friends and family as I didn't want to burden them, I have longed believed that I should only open to my "partner" about my issues, as I know I am not a burden to her. Ever since I was a fat sixteen-year-old kid, I have always wanted to experience having a girlfriend. Someone for myself. Someone to go on dates with, Someone to take cute pictures with, Someone to hold hands with while walking around/home, someone to cuddle with, Someone to go home to and just cuddle after a long day of school, Someone to take care of me when I'm sick, Someone to rest my head unto when I am tired. Those kinds of things. And though I have had 2 exes, both long-term [1st =13 months & 2nd =16 Months], So even though I have had girlfriends, I never really got to experience having a girlfriend. I was in a relationship with my phone as both of them were LDRs. So when I met my classmate, I thought that it was finally my chance to have something "Easy". To finally experience the things that I have long wanted to experience and in a sense..I did. Little did I know that.. that cute girl with glasses was about to treat me the worst. That's why I kept jumping from one girl to another. Cause I wanted someone to "unload" my issues to. I wanted someone to listen to me and then hug me afterward.
It took me 21 years to realize that.. that was stupid.
I shouldn't depend on other people for my peace and happiness and to fix me. I needed to learn how to be self-sufficient. Yes, I am used to being alone, because of my LDRs, but I was never really okay with it. I just acted like I was because I had no choice.
Now I am trying to be okay with it.
I ghosted everyone. I ignored all of my friends' messages and requests to go out. I want to be content while being alone. That's why the moment we get dismissed from class, I immediately leave so I can be alone. I don't want to hang out with my friends as I don't want to bring the mood down cause I can't be my normal jolly self, and I know as well that .. going out with them is just a bandaid solution. Yes, I'll be happy when I'm with them, but the moment I go home and I am alone.. Everything will rush in and break me. I don't want that. I want to rejoin them when I am fully okay. I don't want to rush into another relationship or girl again, as I don't want a repeat of what happened. I don't want to meet another girl as I will eventually fck it up again by being too volatile and by just acting too fast and just start unloading my baggage.
It has been 2-3 weeks since I last spoke to any of my friends. I have been going out and hanging out by myself for those 2-3 weeks. And.. this is the tricky part.
I seriously have no idea where I am. When I zone out, I don't cry anymore, but I am nowhere near happy. It doesn't hurt as much anymore not because I am doing better, but because I got numb. When I'm alone, I think about my ex and my classmate all the time, but this time it doesn't immediately break me. It just makes my chest tingle a little bit.
To be honest, I am scared. As I don't know how to let people in anymore. I don't know when to go back. A part of me is telling to me to go back now, but a part of me is saying I am not ready. The thing is I don't know when I'll be ready. Here's the thing too, when it's daytime I just distract myself by sleeping and working, and it doesn't feel as painful. Yes, I still get a little "When will I have that ..?" Whenever I see couples around me, but not as painful. But when it's nighttime.. when I no longer have enough energy to work. As I lie on my bed, I realize how "alone" I am as I have no one to end my day with. But the fucked up thing is , during the day I have almost no interest to talk to anyone. I actually don't reply as fast as I used to. Before, I'll reply as soon as I have the chance. Now, i'll reply like 6-10 hours later, not on purpose or anything.. I just don't feel like it, I don't know why [For real tho, can someone explain that..?]/ I want someone to be there for me, but after the past few weeks, I am afraid that they might not have space in my life anymore. Cause to be honest with you, cringe.. but when I'm sitting alone, a part of me wishes that someone would follow me and sit beside me. I've wanted that for years now. But I am slowly smothering that dream out.
I know I can't stay like this. I want to be better. I want to get out.
I just don't know how.
I want to be self-sufficient. I want to be happy and content on my own so when the time comes that I let someone inside again, when they inevitably do something fckd up, I won't hurt as much as I can manage on my own.
I want that.
But I know that I can't stay like this forever, and I don't know if I'm making progress or not. When I'm alone, things don't hurt as much, but when I see my classmate in class.. When I see her texting on her phone as the message I left a week ago remains inboxed I get pissed off. I don't know why. I know this looks like me putting all the blame on my classmate, and yes, she did do the most amount of damage in the smallest window of time. But to be fair, it was my fault as well. As a part of me kinda wanted to use her a way of getting over my issues that I have faced since I was a kid and from my 2 exes. Again, little did I know that Instead of helping me get back on my feet, she'll deal the coupe de grace that will make me kill the past version of myself. She isn't the sole reason as to why I have broken down, but she did do enough damage to kill me 25 times over, She was just the last straw to break the camel's back..but boy what a straw she was.
I still want to have a girlfriend, I still want someone to be there for me when I get home from school. I still want someone to call before I go to sleep, but I know I'm afraid to risk it, cause maybe I am not ready yet and I might rush and fuck it up again, so I shut myself out until I am sure that I am ready. But i know to myself that there's a huge possibility that I'll never be ready and one day I'll be surprised that 2 years have past and I am still in the same spot and I am still alone. This puts me in a loop as shutting myself down also shuts down any chance of me getting one.
See why I am so fckd?
Ugh I'm a mess, but I am not stupid enough to be delusional and think that I can do this on my own. I need some help guys.
sorry for the long entry, Love y'all.

I don't know what I'm feeling. I have self-isolated and I want to get out.
[Disclaimer ; Going to be a bit long and cringe]
Hi guys,
I am in a weird spot right now. I'm going to give you a summation of the events that led me here
1st GF left me and came back to me (5x) -> We finally break-up -> Met my 2nd girlfriend -> It was fantastic -> 5 months in I discovered that she lied about 95% of everything -> I forgave her -> We lasted for 11 more months -> Over the course of those 11 months, I was already deteriorating but I stayed because I loved her -> She said that she is also unhappy and unfulfilled because of our relationship [LDR] -> I break up with her because she deserves someone better, even though I loved her very much -> Met this girl Liked her for 2 months Formally met each other when our friend group drank together Found out she had a boyfriend Talked as friends They break up We hit it off Do couple things Ex comes back Ghosts me Sleeps with him I ask her if she's going to ghost me again and go back with him She says no-> Christmas break Ghosts me Went through a phase -> Met another girl We hit it off I found out she then slept with another guy hours before meeting up with me -> I left Stalked my "classmate's" Instagram they are now officially together [She and her ex] Try to cut her off We became blockmates We became groupmates Now..I am checkmate -> I try to ignore her, can't as we're always put closer for some reason -> I try to work it out with her -> She does something fckd up [Rinse and repeat x infinity] -> I bit the bullet and reached out again I drove her We talked -> Asked her if she wants us to just keep ignoring each other She says no -> We talk for a couple of days She ghosts me again I see her everyday as not only is she in my class, but we're in the same group -> Now, I am here.
So.. what is "here". Well, I realized that I was being toxic to myself. I have some serious issues. I hated being myself. I hated being alone. I can't open up to my friends and family as I didn't want to burden them, I have longed believed that I should only open to my "partner" about my issues, as I know I am not a burden to her. Ever since I was a fat sixteen-year-old kid, I have always wanted to experience having a girlfriend. Someone for myself. Someone to go on dates with, Someone to take cute pictures with, Someone to hold hands with while walking around/home, someone to cuddle with, Someone to go home to and just cuddle after a long day of school, Someone to take care of me when I'm sick, Someone to rest my head unto when I am tired. Those kinds of things. And though I have had 2 exes, both long-term [1st =13 months & 2nd =16 Months], So even though I have had girlfriends, I never really got to experience having a girlfriend. I was in a relationship with my phone as both of them were LDRs. So when I met my classmate, I thought that it was finally my chance to have something "Easy". To finally experience the things that I have long wanted to experience and in a sense..I did. Little did I know that.. that cute girl with glasses was about to treat me the worst. That's why I kept jumping from one girl to another. Cause I wanted someone to "unload" my issues to. I wanted someone to listen to me and then hug me afterward.
It took me 21 years to realize that.. that was stupid.
I shouldn't depend on other people for my peace and happiness and to fix me. I needed to learn how to be self-sufficient. Yes, I am used to being alone, because of my LDRs, but I was never really okay with it. I just acted like I was because I had no choice.
Now I am trying to be okay with it.
I ghosted everyone. I ignored all of my friends' messages and requests to go out. I want to be content while being alone. That's why the moment we get dismissed from class, I immediately leave so I can be alone. I don't want to hang out with my friends as I don't want to bring the mood down cause I can't be my normal jolly self, and I know as well that .. going out with them is just a bandaid solution. Yes, I'll be happy when I'm with them, but the moment I go home and I am alone.. Everything will rush in and break me. I don't want that. I want to rejoin them when I am fully okay. I don't want to rush into another relationship or girl again, as I don't want a repeat of what happened. I don't want to meet another girl as I will eventually fck it up again by being too volatile and by just acting too fast and just start unloading my baggage.
It has been 2-3 weeks since I last spoke to any of my friends. I have been going out and hanging out by myself for those 2-3 weeks. And.. this is the tricky part.
I seriously have no idea where I am. When I zone out, I don't cry anymore, but I am nowhere near happy. It doesn't hurt as much anymore not because I am doing better, but because I got numb. When I'm alone, I think about my ex and my classmate all the time, but this time it doesn't immediately break me. It just makes my chest tingle a little bit.
To be honest, I am scared. As I don't know how to let people in anymore. I don't know when to go back. A part of me is telling to me to go back now, but a part of me is saying I am not ready. The thing is I don't know when I'll be ready. Here's the thing too, when it's daytime I just distract myself by sleeping and working, and it doesn't feel as painful. Yes, I still get a little "When will I have that ..?" Whenever I see couples around me, but not as painful. But when it's nighttime.. when I no longer have enough energy to work. As I lie on my bed, I realize how "alone" I am as I have no one to end my day with. But the fucked up thing is , during the day I have almost no interest to talk to anyone. I actually don't reply as fast as I used to. Before, I'll reply as soon as I have the chance. Now, i'll reply like 6-10 hours later, not on purpose or anything.. I just don't feel like it, I don't know why [For real tho, can someone explain that..?]/ I want someone to be there for me, but after the past few weeks, I am afraid that they might not have space in my life anymore. Cause to be honest with you, cringe.. but when I'm sitting alone, a part of me wishes that someone would follow me and sit beside me. I've wanted that for years now. But I am slowly smothering that dream out.
I know I can't stay like this. I want to be better. I want to get out.
I just don't know how.
I want to be self-sufficient. I want to be happy and content on my own so when the time comes that I let someone inside again, when they inevitably do something fckd up, I won't hurt as much as I can manage on my own.
I want that.
But I know that I can't stay like this forever, and I don't know if I'm making progress or not. When I'm alone, things don't hurt as much, but when I see my classmate in class.. When I see her texting on her phone as the message I left a week ago remains inboxed I get pissed off. I don't know why. I know this looks like me putting all the blame on my classmate, and yes, she did do the most amount of damage in the smallest window of time. But to be fair, it was my fault as well. As a part of me kinda wanted to use her a way of getting over my issues that I have faced since I was a kid and from my 2 exes. Again, little did I know that Instead of helping me get back on my feet, she'll deal the coupe de grace that will make me kill the past version of myself. She isn't the sole reason as to why I have broken down, but she did do enough damage to kill me 25 times over, She was just the last straw to break the camel's back..but boy what a straw she was.
I still want to have a girlfriend, I still want someone to be there for me when I get home from school. I still want someone to call before I go to sleep, but I know I'm afraid to risk it, cause maybe I am not ready yet and I might rush and fuck it up again, so I shut myself out until I am sure that I am ready. But i know to myself that there's a huge possibility that I'll never be ready and one day I'll be surprised that 2 years have past and I am still in the same spot and I am still alone. This puts me in a loop as shutting myself down also shuts down any chance of me getting one.
See why I am so fckd?
Ugh I'm a mess, but I am not stupid enough to be delusional and think that I can do this on my own. I need some help guys.
sorry for the long entry, Love y'all.

i read the expectations of what happens after treatment and no where did it mention muscless soreness or joint stiffness and one that travels from location of application up the arm, etc.
[22M]
https://www.bazuka.co.uk/Content/downloads/Bazuka-Sub-Zero-rev10-221013.pdf
(applied it twice, actually tbh, on same hand) but on a different wart on same hand, (they aren't close to each other) first time i applied i did already feel joint stifness and muscle soreness