Just read about an owner debating rehoming her reactive dog, and I wanted to give some hope to anyone who is beyond that point. My American Staffordshire mix was brought back to the shelter after a year in her former family. They didn’t have time for her, and that’s all I was told.
When I got her, she was obviously smart, wanted to be a good dog, and was 50 lbs- just at the top end of what I as a medium sized woman was able to control on a leash. I quickly learned she was nervous, rattled, and afraid of her crate. Broke out of two crates. Had accidents in the house if I left even right after going potty. She pulled so much I could barely walk her more than ten minutes, and experimented with three different types of harness (she broke two). Outside, she was completely unfocused, manic, and overstimulated so easily. Immediately lunged, started fence fighting, and barking/snarling very aggressively towards other dogs and some people. She is a high drive breed and needs tons of attention, interaction, and exercise.
Fast forward to a year later, my dog still is highly reactive but is really happy, silly, extremely eager to focus all that energy on learning tricks, and she’s really thriving. She is the perfect work-from-home companion and gets her needs met with me. I’ve learned her triggers. I’ve also learned tons of little things that help distress her without any medication. I cannot imagine having children or not being a homebody, having a more time consuming career that took me out of the house and still being able to give this dog a happy life. I am so glad I picked her, because I know she needed exactly me and we love each other and have so much fun learning together. The point of this post is that there is definitely a home out there that’s right for your reactive dog even if it’s not yours.
We play in the fenced in yard, back of the house away from dogs or people. She does amazingly well with proper guest protocol and introduction. I spent months desensitizing her to her crate and bought her a massive thick steel one that she can’t harm herself on and can feel safe in, we worked our way up from two minutes crate time. And if I’m ever (rarely) gone more than three hours she gets a Rover walker to come give her some exercise and a break- she even puts herself back in the crate when she can sense it’s time. I work with a trainer. We have crazy specific routines for the car or the vet. She can walk 90% of the time with a LOOSE LEASH which is amazing to see after where she’s come from. We still have our ups and downs on walks, but we have learned each other and she recovers so much quicker now if she does get triggered, and I as a first time owner of a reactive dog have learned exactly what to do.
We make a great team, I can’t wait to see how she matures through the years in this home that’s set up perfectly for her, and I’m forever grateful her family made the hard decision. I know it had to be hard, but it was the right thing to do in her case.

WAR
A few days later my phone buzz-chirped. I opened my messages to find several pics of Dennis' Jeep, a blurry mess of lights, and a final shot of Dennis leaning back in the driver's seat with his eyes closed and his junk out and at attention. And there was a caption.
"Consider us EVEN."
I saw red. The possibility of finding peaceful contentment with Whisky was a distant memory. A figment of my imagination. I wanted blood. I wanted to slap Mary's fat fucking face senseless. I wanted to rat her out to Chuck. I was livid. Angry heat spread from my sternum to my shoulders, and the sharp sting of wrath radiated through my being. I rang Mary.
Mary: How does it feel, bitch?
I couldn't make words. I was shaking. My head was spinning. All I could muster was a meek little, "Why???"
Mary: You owed me.
Me: Mary, I'm not screwing Whiskers. And how did you even FIND Dennis? Do you even LIKE him?
Mary: Totes! He's soooooo cute! We banged it out five or six times in his car, and then he told me to lie down in the parking lot. And then he pissed all over my titties! It was soooo hot!
Me: I don't believe you. Dennis is into some pervy-ass shit. But not piss.
Mary: Well, he told me you were too vanilla to do anything fun.
Me: YEAH. I didn't wanna get butt-blasted without a rubber by a guy who couldn't even be bothered to show up when we had plans. That's not being vanilla. That's having self-respect.
Mary: Guys don't like girls who make a big deal about self-respect. It's a major turn-off. That's why I get so much more boom-boom than you do. Hey! Now that we're done fighting, you can pick me up and take me out for sushi! I'll teach you how to make men happy and then you'll owe me dinner. I obviously pleased Dennis when you couldn't.
Words failed me yet again. I shouted a much, much filthier version of, "GO SCREW," hung up on her, put on my sneakers, and ran aimlessly through my neighborhood until I almost collapsed. Once I trudged back home, I smoked a shit-ton of cigarettes and drank a shit-ton of vodka (for me, which was like... three shots) and really did collapse.
Up to this point, I felt like I had been patient with Mary. More patient than she deserved. I probably hadn’t done her any favors by allowing her to behave like a fucking maniac while I did nothing more than gently suggesting alternative behaviors. I still wanted to have faith in her ability to grow (emotionally). But all of that came crashing down. For some reason, my formerly improved sense of self-respect crashed as well...
I texted Whisky, planned to meet him at his townhouse, and successfully banged him. It was absolutely a hate bang even though I didn't hate Whisky at all (yet). I'd never engaged in hate-fueled intimacy before. I didn't realize those two states could co-exist like that. As reluctant as I am to admit it, it was cathartic. And it was also admittedly unfair to Whisky because he had no idea what was happening. I had just used him to make myself feel marginally better about a guy I guess I still had some kind of feelings for.
In case I've been unclear, I'm fully acknowledging that my actions were immature, inconsiderate, and indefensible. Don't bang somebody just because you're mad at somebody else, kids. Nobody wins. Well, it might feel like winning for a short time. It's NOT. It's bad behavior. And I absolutely hold myself accountable. Did I deserve to get verbally abused by the psycho neckbeard lurking behind the mask of the man I’d just hate-banged? No. Unequivocally, NO. But would Whisky have been well within his rights to dump me in a spectacular fashion if he’d realized what I was doing in that moment? Abso-freakin-lutely. Hell, I would have totally deserved it if he’d booted me out of his house butt-naked and screamed insults from the window. An isolated hurling of insults is not the same thing as chronic verbal maltreatment within the context of a relationship. But that's a serious topic that feels out of place in this story.
So instead of calling me on my crap and giving my butt the boot, Whisky remained oblivious to what was going on in my misguided mind and took the hate bang to mean that our relationship had just gone to the next level. And he became even sweeter and more affectionate towards me. This made my skin crawl because all my feelings for Dennis (both good and bad) had just come flooding back with a vengeance. I had no idea what to do with them. Part of me wanted Dennis to hug me and apologize. Part of me wanted to punch him in the dick. Part of me wanted Whisky to hug me and assure me that I had value as a human being even if some Golden God hadn’t chosen me to be his partner. And then part of me wanted to snap at Whisky every time he touched me. "You're NOT the one I want, Asshat!!!!!!!"
But the truth was... I didn't really want Dennis anymore. I mean... I wanted him in theory, but I didn't want the real version. He was a flake. He was nasty. I couldn't wrap my head around his inconsistent, albeit devout, spiritual beliefs. He was indeed a braggadocious butthead. I suspected that he wasn't even a very nice person beneath his affable veneer. Even so, I was irrationally irate with Mary for deliberately stalking him and seducing him. Did she really think that would make me look at my relationship with Whisky differently? I hadn't stalked him. I hadn't even pursued him. In fact, I'd rejected him several times (albeit not out of respect for Mary). How are these two situations alike??? What am I failing to see here??? Maybe I was the villain. I certainly wasn't innocent. But neither was Mary.
I mean... Mary was friggin’ MARRIED. And she'd been going around blabbing indelicately about all her supremely nasty boom-boom (whether real or fabricated) with Whiskers, Scumbanger, Tech Guy, Artistic Director, and the Hoggs. How the living, breathing, God-forsaken FUCK had she decided that she was entitled to sexy time with my (former?) crush just because I was dating ONE of the innumerable guys she’d stalked once upon a time???? Gaaaahhhhhhhhh!
And then it got even worse. Dennis was almost finished with his graduate program and was planning to move to New York that summer, while I still had another two years to go (counting the internship). But we both worked in the Neuropharmacology Lab that semester, so I still had to see him every week. Even though nothing had happened between us in a long, long time, I never knew if Dennis was going acknowledge my presence or look right through me. The power of invisibility isn't all it's cracked up ti be. But the next time I saw him, following the Mary tryst, he very deliberately approached me and said in an almost apologetic tone, "Val? Can we please talk after lab?" I nodded.
He asked me to get in his car, but I couldn't stand the thought of sitting in the ghost of Mary's snail trail. I insisted that we sit in my car, and he didn't protest. The familiar scent of mandarins and mountain air wafted through my Prius as I steeled myself for a confrontation.
Dennis: I think your friend stalked me...
Me: The crazy bitch with the big boobs?
Dennis: Yeah... She messaged me on Facebook and she was talking like you'd told her about me and thought we should hang out. I said we should call you and invite you to come along, but she said you had a boyfriend. Do you have a boyfriend?
Me: I'm dating someone. But what does it matter?
Dennis: Oh. I guess it doesn't. Anyway, I met her at this 24-hour diner. She drank like... ten beers even though I told her I don't drink. She kept talking about her cat or something...
Me: Whiskers?
Dennis: Yeah.
Me: That's a guy. She used to have a thing for him.
Dennis: That’s a guy’s name??? Weird. Well, anyway... She got all sloppy and literally started doing mouth stuff to me under the table.
My stomach turned and my blood boiled. "I don't need to hear that. She already told me all about your night. She sent me pictures of your dick and she told me how you peed on her in the parking lot."
Dennis: She said I WHAT??? Babe! Er. Um. Val! I would never do that.
I gave him a skeptical stare.
Dennis: Hand to God! I didn't pee on her. But, wait... She took pictures of my stuff???
I took out my phone and showed him the pic. Dennis blushed ferociously and looked away. Finally, he said quietly, "I'm so ashamed of myself."
I sighed. "You're always ashamed of yourself. That's why I stopped fooling around with you. It felt like you were ashamed of me, too."
Dennis: Babe! No. I just have to get right with God.
Me: Well, have you talked to God about Mary?
Dennis: I'm not ready for that one yet. I feel dirty. Like... dirtier than usual.
Me: Well, now I feel kind of guilty. She's mad at me because I'm dating a guy she used to have a crush on. She went after you because she knew I used to have a crush on you.
Dennis: You had a crush on me??? For real?
At first, I scoffed (thinking he was being sarcastic). Then I looked at his wide eyes and realized that he might have actually been that clueless.
Me: Yes, Dennis. I massively had a crush on you. You knew that. But I was apparently too vanilla for you, according to Mary.
Dennis: What??? Babe! I never said you were vanilla. I said you were classier than her.
Me: Well... Thank you? If that really is what you said to her, I appreciate that.
Dennis (striking his version of a smoldering pose): So. Uh... You still have a crush on me?
Me: I think I'll always wonder what could have been if we were each just... slightly different people. But I had to move on. I knew you didn't like me in that way, and it wasn't fair to either of us.
Dennis: Well, for what it's worth, I wish it had been your mouth the other night.
I finally smiled a little bit. I wished the same thing. But I didn't say that out loud.

Oddly enough, having that somewhat respectful, somewhat reassuring conversation with Dennis quelled my anger at Mary... a little. Don't get me wrong; I was still pissed and I never let her get close to me again after that. But I also never made a big, dramatic show of telling her off. In my mind, that would have invited more unnecessary drama. By tacitly distancing myself and henceforth keeping her at arm's length, she wasn't able to freak out over anything and I was able to keep her out of my business.
Years and years later, even now that Mary is a functional person with a healthy BMI, and much better manners (most of the time), she is still wont to bring up her tryst with Dennis. While I genuinely applaud her for putting in the work and making some sensible changes, I'll never be super buddy-buddy with her again. The fact that she still throws Dennis in my face to this very day makes me suspect that there remains a touch of cray in her gray matter.
And where Whisky was concerned, I had finally felt some sense of closure with Dennis after the aforementioned talk. So I leaned into a new relationship. And it was fine at first. Not super hot, but also not super weird. Having learned from my disgusting mistake, I know that I tend to get tempted to speculate about incredibly offensive crap regarding Funky Whisky whenever his behavior is unremarkable and not in keeping with the delightfully repulsive tone that this audience tends to enjoy. So I'll end this chapter here. In the next proper installment, I'll finally shed some light on The Goblinization. But before I wrap things up, I need to write a one-off about The Pie Guy and bring back some classic cringe!

Hi all - Fresh widow here. My husband (41 years old, I’m 36) of almost 10 years passed away suddenly and unexpectedly on April 3rd from a sudden cardiac arrest. He had an underlying genetic heart condition (hypertrophic cardiomyopathy) that was diagnosed in 2020 but he decided to not seek further diagnosis on it to see what treatment was best. The first cardiologist he saw told him he wouldn’t die of the condition and would live a long life. I think this gave my husband a false hope and made him think it wasn’t that serious. He also was very strong willed and if he thought he was okay then he was okay in his mind (he even told family and friends it was just anxiety - I knew it wasn’t but even if I tried pushing him to check it out he would have become anxious or angry about it).
Other than his heart condition my husband was in great health - perfect weight, ate healthy foods and drank a lot of water, was active. His only vice was smoking cigarettes but he didn’t even do that too much. I think him dying at the time he did was due to dehydration (he was fasting for ramadan) and he took otc cold medicine (not great for those with heart conditions) because he thought he had a cold coming on. He has done both of these things over the years but never at the same time.
Anywho enough back story. I have been a wreck ever since he passed (no surprise). So many emotions. I’m so angry he didn’t take his health seriously and that ultimately sealed his fate. I’m sad and angry he left my daughter and I so young. Our daughter only just turned two and he wanted her so bad (I was the one who made us hold off on getting pregnant for years). She was supposed to have so many years with her daddy. It’s the thing that makes me cry the most. Thinking of the loss of that relationship is so crushing. Our daughter was born in 2022 a couple years after his heart condition diagnosis- I don’t know why he didn’t think to go back to the cardiologist at that time to see if he was okay to do nothing or needed to seek some form of treatment. He also didn’t leave us in a very good financial situation but luckily my parents are able to help us for now.
Another emotion that hits me a lot is resentment. My husband and I fought a lot over the years - it was usually stupid stuff but he would often get very upset with me and the fights were hard to stop. It took a toll on my feelings for him even though I loved him so much. I always thought we would be able to get to a better place but now with him dead I have no closure on that.
I’m seeing a grief counselor once a week and it feels great when i’m talking with her but afterwards I feel so low unless I’m highly distracted. It really sucks and I hate feeling this way. I was already in a sad place before he passed but now it’s even more sad.
I want happiness for my daughter and I. I just want a simple happy life. It’s all I ever wanted. I know it’s super early in the grieving process but I hope there is happiness on the horizon for my daughter and I in the near future.

This is something that's been bothering me for a while. I have several small software projects I would like to share with human users, but I've stopped pushing my code to github because it just makes me feel kind of gross to think I am contributing free labor to the technical oligopoly of closed source language models.
I know there are contradictions in my thinking here. I have worked for several companies whose products were built on open source products (though to be fair a couple of those companies weren't just _using_ open source but were actively contributing or producing their own open source projects) and I have contributed to open source projects I know are used in commercial products. I don't claim to be free of contradictions and I'm not trying to resolve those here.
What I want to know is this: Is there space in the definition of open source for a license that imposes restrictions on the distribution of the licensed source such that it cannot be distributed via hosting services like Github whose terms of service include implied license grants that allow them to basically do whatever they want with the code they host?
I get that there is a definition of open source offered by OSI and I can see good arguments being made against "human-only open source" (but I can also see some good counter arguments). I also get that copyright itself (an arguably outdated legal paradigm where LLMs are concerned) includes the doctrine of fair use which hasn't fully played out in the courts yet.
Am I the only one who feels this way? Or is this sense that there is a problem to be solved shared by others in the community?
If we can't call a license with restrictions against the use of covered software to train LLMs "open source" but we still want to share it with humans in ways that are otherwise covered by the OSI definition, what would we call it? In my mind, the restriction against use in LLMs without the attribution typically required of open source doesn't make such software proprietary (though I can see someone who feels affront at this kind of restriction wanting to call it proprietary).
I was thinking about this earlier today and decided to try putting together a pass at such a license, calling it the "Human Public License":
* https://gitea.com/waynhuman-public-license
This is a modification of MPL 2.0 based on a collection of "non-AI" versions of other licenses.
I would like to call this license "open source" as I think it fits much of the spirit of open source before the LLM hype and productization of LLMs brought to my awareness the code I intended to share with other humans might also be used to train closed source LLMs.
Not that it's very relevant or important but I am trialing this license on a little tool I started working on recently:
* https://gitea.com/waynchooks

I've just moved to perth australia and I'm considering ditching the idea of buying a car in favour of a motorbike/skateboard combo for commuting. Just wondering if yall have any input you could give me from your own experience with the community:

1. How long does it take to learn to ride an evolve board in a meaningfullyuseful way (I have no experience skateboarding or snowboarding, but otherwise have good control of my balance).
2. While learning to ride can you make things super easy for your self by turning all the settings (speed, acceleration, braking) down to their lowest setting & tightening the trucks so the board doesn't turn as quickly? I was imagining a world in which a quick way to learn would be to turn everything down and tighten the trucks, then increase your power curves and loosen the trucks bit by bit as you get comfortable/bored with the current set-up.

The full context for this little adventure of mine is that I just moved to Perth, and I also just got my motorcycle learners. As I'm in Western Australia that means I'll have another 5 months of public transport to put up with before I can ride the bike to get around as a commuting vehicle (because i cant ride without a supervisor riding next to me on my learners). I like the idea of having something other than my legs, or a vehicle driven by someone else to get me from A to Bnif I need to, and I'm wondering if I can realistically just get a board and learn in an acceptable time frame for it to be useful as a mode of transport.
I could just take the easy way out and get a scooter....but an electric skateboard just seems so much cooler, so I wanna try invest in that instead XD
All thoughts welcome

Disclaimer: I know I’m gonna get downvoted to hell because K2 is the only other game besides 0 that everyone and their mother has played but I don’t care, I’m butthurt lol.
So I’m doing a replay of Kiwami 2 and I swear I don’t remember the boss fights being this frustrating. I previously said Kiwami 1 had the worst boss fights but honestly looking back on them, all the 1v1 fights were great, it was the group fights that suck ass. Kiwami 2 has the exact opposite problem. Group fights work fine but 1v1s feel so clumsy. This is easily the weakest Kiryu has ever felt in the series, even more so than Y6 somehow. I remember having these complaints the first time around but I don’t remember it being so bad. Kiryu can literally get ragdolled after every hit and if ANYONE hits him during a combo it instantly cancels out. The quickstep genuinely sucks ass even when you max it out and the fact that you need to limit break the attack stat, erasing any challenge the game offers, to unlock double quicksteps is even worse. It gets to the point where I dodge out of the way but still get hit because Kiryu either doesn’t move far enough or the enemy changes directions mid air and hits me anyways.
It’s THIS game that truly makes me realize that RGG really doesn’t know how to design a difficult but fair boss. With a few exceptions almost all of their bosses are laughably easy or filled with the most bullshit I’ve ever seen. Kiwami 2 is no exception. The combat doesn’t get good until you limit break all your stats and unlock all the skills. However at that point the combat is so laughably easy that you’ll wipe Ryuji out in less than a minute (literally did this on my first playthough on accident). I’m just speedrunning this game so I can move on and replay Peakuza 3.

I know many of you will advise me to go see an ENG. I have done so, countless times already. Some said that I had a deviated septum. Others rejected this statement and pointed out I needed turbinate surgery to get rid of the issue. A third group of ENGs does not see an issue at all.
However, my breathing is not as good as I'd like it to be. When I breathe in, I feel as if the air goes nowhere. It hits a wall right at the top of my nose, and that's it. My sense of smell is intact, but I always feel as if there is a blockage preventing air from fully entering into my body.
Fast forward to two weeks ago when I started swimming. Right after a swim, and usually up to five-six hours afterwards, I can breathe properly. Yes, the stream of air is not the strongest ever, but I feel that the air is entering my body. I can it feel it pass through my nose without hitting a wall.
I'm wondering why this is, of course, but also what else I can do to reach this state (and maybe make it last).
Just FYI: I have no lung issues at all. No heart issues, nothing. And this is a problem I've been dealing with since my teenage years.
Please help. What can I do to improve? Podcasts, books, websites, breath work practices - anything that can help. Thanks.

Very recent
Ran a campaign with 2 gms and goddamn this was the worst gm I’ve seen in so long, and one gm was absolute dogshit
So first warning sign: the gm power trips like all hell, they refer to themselves as the god of the game and when they’re told a rule that works in the scenario or explained how certain things work, they get mad and make their own rule out of nowhere (ftr, this gm was horrible with the rules to the point where they didn’t even know what a saving throw was despite this not being their first campaign, it happened a lot).
Second warning sign: the gm is super controlling, there are so many examples to name so I’ll just go through notable ones.
Had character’s entire fates planned out, including unavoidable death
Commonly “took over as god” and had the party go places they wanted them to go by force despite lack of planning
Forced people to rp exactly how they wanted (revealing character details to party, using character’s voice, never speaking ooc, etc)
Chose to NOT ALLOW PLAYERS TO PICK THEIR RACE OR CLASS UPON DEATH. Yes, this isn’t even a joke, if a character died, the dm would make them a new one, when this was revealed and players requested races they went as far as to tell them they’d to the exact opposite.
Nerfed abilities and spells on the spot if it did something they didn’t want it to. For example: telepathic speech being noticed by anyone with a semblance of magic talent, detect magic not finding school of magic, create water just not being allowed to be used, dissonant whispers doing less damage than a single spear stab (rolled max damage on 2 guards while twinning it, neither died) and more
Took pretty much all suggestions as insults, rudely blew others off when trying to suggest a rule or recommendation, etc
And even more than this
Third warning sign: demanding players have certain irl items and such, no digital dice allowed, no online sheets allowed, you had to have motherfucking candles for ambience, you had to have a webcam, etc
Last warning sign: a deep hatred for spell casters, wizards could only pick spells from their school, spells within melee range proc opportunity attacks, pretty much every area could entirely negate magic (prison had anti magic, entirety of most major city was anti magic, this one disease sped up when magic was used, and these were all back to back plot points) but when their magic npcs used it they could do pretty much anything with ease despite being like, a random herbalist in a random town in the desert.
None of these things were established prior to the campaign and the majority of the players were brand new to dnd, this was their introduction to the game. Like my first dm wasn’t a shining example but he at least had good grips on the rules, this dm is just horrible, I feel so bad for the other players
TLDR: extreme railroading, extremely stubborn, very bad understanding of the rules, super controlling, and rude dm

we had a lady come in earlier and she made a big deal over HER ordering at the wrong store. i asked her the usual questions, “are you sure it was this store?” “is there another name?” blah blah blah… well she got mad and starts asking me to check the phone orders and whatnot. when i said we still didn’t have the order and asked her again if this was the right store, she started saying all this bs about how she works a real job, makes 27k a year which is obviously more than me because i work at a pizza place, and starts insulting me and my coworkers. my manager comes out (bc she’s full on YELLING atp), checks for her order and shocker! we don’t have it… after some back and forth with my manager she leaves all mad and shit, mumbling.
like nobody brought up money. nobody insulted your job. nothing. just trying to do my job…
why do people do this? and are they always gonna react this way? bc good Lord…

I should've googled this scammer! I knew it was too good to be true. I just signed up to WhatsApp 1 week ago.
She was a beautiful Singaporean girl that lives in New York that owns a beauty business. She keeps pressuring me to invest in crypto. We talked about finance and business and life. She was very nice and try to get to know you. She continues to discuss about crypto majority of the time. She told me to download Coinbase and deposit money in there. Then, she talks about KINE and sends a website. DO NOT SETUP an account!! She teaches you what to press through screenshots. I was suckered and deposit $200 just to try it out. She kept on telling me I need to put more money in the account to actually make money. She chats with you everyday. She got upset because I'm poor and I would not deposit more money and stop talking to me. I tried to transfer out this KINE account and would not transfer back to my Coinbase. Luckily I lost a little. From now on I'll do my research. 😁🤦🏻‍♂️

I sometimes use reddit as a diary of sorts and this is one moment I never want to forget. My 5yo daughter and I love music. We regularly have dance parties where we put on music and dance around for an hour or two,and we have instruments all through the house and are making a ruckus near daily. A few months back I seen that pointfest in St. Louis had two of my favorite band headlining (bad omens/wage war) for $25 a ticket. My daughter also likes these band and I thought this might be a great opportunity to take her as the tickets were so cheap that I wouldn't mind leaving early if she wasn't having a good time.
Lately work has been kicking my ass and I've just been beaten and haven't got to spend the time with her I wish I could, and it's been damaging my mental health.
When we got to the concert it was very hot, so we found some shade and just relaxed through the early bands and just let her accommodate herself to the crowd of people. I was getting a little bit bummed that she was getting whinny about the heat and not having toys and whatnot, but she eventually got over it and started having fun.
When the main stage opened up she took a much needed nap and woke up just in time for Wage War. I tried to get her to dance but she was a bit shy around all the people, but she got to see a small mosh pit and she sang a bit. When Bad Omens got up there she started to get really excited. Their stage was covered in screens and she was blown away by the light show. By about their third song she was really loosening up and being more interactive. When they played her favorite song "Limits" she lit up and was singing along with me.
At the start of their set she wouldn't scream after the song, despite normally be a very loud kid, but I finally got her to yell and when she did I gave her a kiss on the cheek. After that she would kiss me after each song and just had a big smile on her face. She was also blown away by everyone holding up there lights for a slow song and just thought it was so cool. Bad Omens set was almost 2 hours and she was locked in the whole time and just taking in the moment so well. At the end when everyone chanted "one more song" she chanted "six more songs".
Like I said work and life had been beating me lately but having that moment with her reminded what maximum happiness is and really helped bond us. She always loves me, but normally prefers to cuddle her mom or cries for mom when she's not around, but all day today she was my little buddy and had no problem cuddling me over mom. Yesterday was a special moment for me and I will always cherish it.
Also the bands were incredible and I suggested everyone who likes rock go see them. Seen a LOT of concerts and this was definitely top 3, if not my favorite concert.

I’m in a tough spot and need some advice. I’m in love with my best friend’s sister. She’s a few months older than me, and our families grew up together. We even live in the same building, so I hang out at their place a lot and spend time with the whole family.
I’ve had a crush on her since we were young but never had the courage to say anything for fear of ruining our friendship. I’ve tried putting out subtle hints like more obvious compliments, spending more time at their place when she’s around, and talking about relationships. That’s when she told me she’ll connect me with one of her friends, which broke my heart and confirmed she doesn’t see me the way I see her. She even mentioned getting messages from some guys trying to pursue her, and ofc she is she's beautiful, smart, on her diin and has a good personality. It upsets me that she's cool telling me about these people because that's just another sign that she doesn't see me more than the family friend.
I want to tell her how I feel, but I’m pretty sure she’s not going to take it well, and neither will my friend. If things go south, that means it’s a wrap for me. I don’t want to make things uncomfortable for her, but seeing a future where she’s with someone else will mess me up. What should I do, y’all?

I (18m) work 40+ hours a week of heavy physical labor as a metal fabricator. When I was 16 I completed duel enrollment and got welding certifications at a technical school. Because of this, I did not have any classes my senior year of HS and started working full time.
Now, a year later, I dont think I can do it anymore. People weren’t joking when they said this economy is bad. I live in a literal traphouse with fentanyl addicts because its all i can afford. I work what is supposed to be a high paying job but still live paycheck to paycheck. From rent, groceries, girlfriend, and bills, I am left with very little money each month.
I have no time for myself, and breathe in heavy metals all day. I can feel myself worsening in physical and mental health.
I cant quit my job because obviously I will be broke and homeless Lol.
I feel stuck in an inescapable cycle. I am a good entrepreneur but have no time to work on starting my own business. I am literally just stuck.
When i was younger i trapped, but i got in too deep with a lot of big players and it resulted in some close calls. I was making shitloads of money and had so much time to be free and enjoy life, but my girlfriend says she will break up with me if i go back into that lifestyle, which is understandable.
I genuinely think i will take my chances and start hitting licks. I will probably die young either way and might as well gamble for a shot at a better life.
what do yall think i should do?

Hey everyone. I'll try to keep this brief.
I'm thirty and my life is barely different from when I was a teenager. In the realm of love and romance I'm about what you'd expect (a "wizard" as it used to be called). I haven't had a real job pretty much ever but I've started and quit A LOT, like nineteen total that I can remember, including a very good job that's easily the second biggest regret of my life behind not getting to know my mom more. I don't have much life experience, work experience, social experience, or romantic experience. That's why I say I really just feel like I'm a teenager still.
My mom died in February after a prolonged illness but she rapidly deteriorated. One day she was sick in the same regular way she had been for months and the second day I could barely hear her speak and the third day she was pretty much unconscious. I managed to talk to her on the second day and promised I would get my life together.
It's been a few months and I'm struggling again. The primary advice I'm looking for is work related. I have never essentially worked for more than a few months at a time and I'm 30. It is brutal trying to get interviews for any decent job. Hell, I know it's hard for people with regular work histories. I've resorted to lying on my resume and making up experience (unrelated to the jobs I'm looking for; just to clear the gap up a little). Honestly, the only thing I can get is working at Amazon, which I've done before and hated (it's multiple parts of those 19 prior jobs). I can't ask anyone in my life for help because my resume has no real work experience. And it just seems like any job I can get means losing my weekends or working overnights. On top of that I have around $18k in credit card debt I need to pay off before I can move out or anything like that. It's hard not to feel doomed, especially when my friends are traveling the world full time, making hundreds of thousands of dollars, opening businesses, starting families, buying homes, etc. Meanwhile I've never had a job or even a girlfriend, and I'm not building a career or wealth or anything.
My life isn't totally doomed. I managed to get a college degree, graduating in 2020 with a computer science degree from a decent school. I only have Dep. of Education student loans which means with the SAVE plan I'm pretty safe on those. I do have a solid group of friends. I'm not homeless and can live at home. I recently became an artist and am very driven about it and into it which has been a major boon in my life.
But some of that good stuff is a double edged sword. If I didn't have a degree then getting one would be an obvious step. But I do have one, and I have no work experience (let alone experience in any white collar field), and it's been over three years since graduating so I'm not in that "new grad" territory any longer. How can I possibly solve this? My goal is to become a technical writer. I'm worried I'll never have a shot again at upward mobility.
Similarly, my friends are great but like It's becoming harder to relate to them, and if I take a job working weekends or overnights it'll be even harder to ever see them. They're already talking about a big group vacation this summer but I won't be able to go because jobs in America won't even give you reasonable unpaid time off. One of the ballasts of my mental health is becoming an anchor.
Anyway, I'm not looking for advice that's really specific. I don't think it'd be possible to give any. I guess I'm just curious for general advice or stories or any inspiration or hope you can offer.
Thanks.

TUCKING ALL DAY
A serious guide for a very sexy purpose
This guide is intended to provide information to help a person who is Assigned Male At Birth (AMAB) the instruction for a comfortable way to be tucked for long periods of time and/or to achieve the smoothest appearance. Various clothing options will be provided as well as the pro’s and con’s of each one.
Disclaimer – This guide is intended for people who are 18 years of age or older. For serious tucking only. People who are pre-Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) or who are not going to change their hormones can experience some initial discomfort, pain, or even physical harm leading to a hernia. Consult your primary care physician at your next regular checkup, they will want to conduct an inspection of your lower abdomen for any potential signs of a future hernia. The test is simple involving some pressure being used outside your body to test for any signs of tears just below your skin. While a hernia is not likely to happen to most folks, it is highly worth a few few extra seconds at your visit to the doctor.
This guide should not be used as your only source of information. Please read the entire document before attempting the tucking method from section 2 of this guide.
Thanks, I hope this helps you get soft and smooth you wonderful people!
Section 1 - Terminology
Many people who want to tuck for extended periods of time do not want to refer to their genitalia by the medical terminology. This guide will use slang terminology instead.
Medical Term Term Used Here Definition Used Here
Testicles Berries Balls
Anus and Colon Bussy The surrounding skin is well shaven and the colon is cleaned and ready for penetration
Scrotum Coin Purse This does not include the testicles
Penis Clitty The shaft and head of the penis
Male Genitalia Meat Meaning the external portion, once the testicles are internal they are not included under “Meat”
? Grower A penis which is smaller when not erect
? Shower A penis which is approximately the same size whether flaccid or erect
Section 2 Tucking method
2-1 Tucking Intro
One of the goals of an All Day Tuck is for your Meat to stay in place and the important factors are proper coverage of the garment, sufficient compression of the Meat, and enough insulation to keep everything warm enough to remain a little moist. At times you may want to add a Boy Short panty or any women’s panty over your chosen tucking garments.
Prolonged tucking requires proper hygiene to avoid a yeast infection. It also requires a regular shave down there to avoid chaffing.
The first few times you tuck using this method there can be some initial discomfort or even pain. Do not push yourself too hard. You may want to ease into the full tuck by attempting this method but stop before following all steps. This can be similar to a little stretching before a physical activity. You will need to assess your level of pain, it should not be extreme.
At times you may want to tuck and experience difficulty because there is too much blood in the spongy tissue of your Clitty or you may not have the proper garments yet to contain a proper tuck. In these cases you can follow this tucking method and simply sit down at the edge of your bed or a chair to reduce the size of your swollen Clitty or just to hold your tuck in place
2-2 Hiding Those Berries!
You may need to crouch or lay on your side for best results. Begin by placing your dominant hand behind your back and between the legs.
Grasp the very bottom of your Coin Purse and give it a little tension by pulling gently downwards.
Maintain that light tension on the Coin Purse and bring it back towards your Bussy.
Your Berries should have risen and now be close to the base of your Clitty.
Using your non-dominant hand and spread your fingers in order to be able to manipulate both of your berries. (Live Long and Prosper hand sign From Star Trek)
Gently encourage your Berries upwards on either side of your Clitty. This is where discomfort or pain may occur.
*For novices. You may wish to focus on one Berry at a time if there is difficulty or pain. Just make a small circular motion on the underside of the Berry/Berries to encourage them upwards. There are small openings to the lower abdomen where Berries drop from in infancy. Those openings are usually smaller than your adult Berries, until they are gently stretched a little.
For those who are going to take HRT, an anti-androgen will be taken until such time as the berries cease to function. At that point they will likely become smaller, softer, and less sensitive. Tucking becomes much easier but reproductive functions will be greatly affect
Keeping your berries in the original position will increase their temperature. This will not have any feminizing effects on your body but will likely decrease your sperm production and I have no idea if it will affect production of Testosterone.
2-3 Getting The Meat Into Position
Once the Berries “pop” into position use your non-dominant hand to push your Clitty back towards your Bussy and against your Coin Purse. Note, you should still be using your dominant hand to maintain the position and tension on your Coin Purse.
The final step for this tucking method and just before you secure your tuck with appropriate clothing is to hold the tuck together by squeezing your thighs together.
The next section covers the popular clothing items used to maintain a tuck in a comfortable and sustainable way.
NO DUCT TAPE!!!
Section 3 Clothing To Secure That Tuck
Gaffs
I use many different brands and do not recommend any one over another. I will say that BBlair offers good quality and it’s Trans Owned! Gaff And Go offers gaffs with thinner waist straps. Pictured here is a transwoman who likely has less meat than average or an expert at minimizing There are many shapes and materials for modern gaffs. Stretch Satin is the most securing material and stretches less than other clothing options listed below, but has an optimal design. A stretch satin gaff is a great choice for beginners and experts alike. Some less desirable aspects are the cheaper models often do not have a narrow thong leaving to much material between the butt cheeks, they are generally 25-35 USD, and are less sexy or less like a woman’s panty.
Most of my 14 years tucking have been with Gaff panties.
No-Show Women’s Stretch Brief Panties
I have no brand opinions for these. You can just go to any women’s department and are likely to find something that works.
This is the most comfortable and least sexy option for securing a tuck, most suitable for a good night’s sleep. Multiple panties are layered with one or two being put on backwards. You may add a final layer with the panties put on in the intended position. You should experiment with panties one and two sizes smaller than recommended for your waist/hip size.
Your Meat may remain secured best if positioned a little more towards your front which can leave a little bulging with some outfits.
Even More Options – Advanced
Stripper Clothing!!! Bonus points!!!
Body Zone and The Beauty Cave offer options I have access to at a store near me. I am not endorsing these Brands over other brands, I just do not know of other brands that may work. These items are thin and stretchy unlike similar items designed for swimming, this is key.
Bikini Bottoms Method
This is great for those with less Meat or who are experienced with gaffs and with minimizing their Clitties.
Prepare your tuck and put a string bikini bottom on as a first layer. It should be located further back than intended so that the bottom of the Coin Purse and head of the Clitty will be contained. It’s okay if a little Meat sticks out over the top.
Put a second string bikini on as intended to be worn. This method may not work for everyone and will take some practice. A tie string bikini might help with it’s customizable tension.
This is the method I use for tanning and achieving porn star tan lines.
Conclusion
Compression
Comfort
Warmth
Find what works for you and have fun
SIT ON IT!!!
About the author
I was assigned male at birth. I am in my 40s now. I was deeply closeted until I was 30 years old and just ready for everything to end. I love this world and want others to have an easier time in life than I did. I love you all. See you around you sexy babes <3

I am NOT the Original Poster. That is u/Ok_Outcome3739. She posted in AITAH

Do not comment on Original Posts. See rule 7. Also, this sub has a 7 day waiting period. Ergo, the newest update is 7 days old.

Mood Spoiler: OOP gets answers
Original Post: May 11, 2024
I 29F have a 5F with my ex 32M. We were engaged but never really planned to have kids before marriage or at least for the next few years. I was on the pill and he used protection sometimes but I ended up pregnant. Since it was unplanned. Abortion was on the table. He was more into making it work so both of us decided to keep the baby. I wasn't emotionally prepared but for him love is all it takes to make everything work. Fast forward 6 months he started to change. He would give me the silent treatment if I do something wrong. He wouldn't engage in any conversation about the baby and would just yell at me if I ask what's wrong. I was almost 8 months pregnant when he told me he's just not ready to be a father and can't do both things. It's either fatherhood or his career. I was scared to be a single mother so I told him it's fine I can take care of our baby and be a SAHM until things get better for him, but he refused and made it clear everything is over. Since the house was his I left and went to live with my mom until I found myself a place.
I gave birth to my baby girl and he never came to see her. His mother and sister were there for me and to this day they're still part of my daughter's life. As for him he gave up his parental rights and granted me full custody (legally) but was willing to contribute financially through child support (He voluntarily provides financial support in an amicable arrangement). I'm not proud of it but there are nights I called him just to ask him why did he do that to us. I wasn't even ready but seeing him happy and excited made me think we could make it work together. He never really answered my calls. We used to communicate through his mother or sister or email. I love my baby and won't ever see her as a mistake. I'm still doing my best to be the best mother she deserves. I have a good paying job now and everything is better than before.
Now here's the thing. After 5 years and when I finally feel my life got better and figured out my shit, he wants to get involved. He's been calling and texting me for a week now. He doesn't regret a thing and he's not asking. He's telling me that he has the right to see his daughter and be there for her. How can I trust him not to wake up one day and decide being in her life is a mistake and disappear again? He can do that to me but I just don't want my daughter to get hurt. I told him he can see her but not this way. He wants more than just to see her. He even threatened me if I don't agree then he has no problem telling her in the future how I'm the reason she grew up without a father.
His mother and even my mother want me to just let him into my daughter's life with no exceptions. And I'm not comfortable doing that because I know him. WIBTA if I decide on what's best for our daughter or just suck it up and let him in?
Edit: just wanted to mention English isn't my first language, so sorry if there are any errors. Also sorry if this is a bit long but I wanted to give you all the details.
Relevant Comments:
What the hell changed:
Exactly, I don't know how. He never answered my calls for two years and never wanted to see her for 5 years and now out of nowhere he's blowing up my phone demanding a relationship with her and expecting me to just let him in. Thank you for the advice 🙌🏻
Downvoted Comment:
Commenter: I take it that you trust your mother, that she knows everything that happened just as much as you do, that you don't think she has any malice towards you or your daughter.
If that is the case then it should at least give you pause to question why it is she does not agree with you on this matter and you should at least speak to her and ask her what her reasons are.
This has nothing to do with what you think he deserves. This is entirely about would it be beneficial for your daughter to have a positive relationship with her father and to have him as a presence in her life. You have no right to deny that to your child and if he does tell her you are the reason she grew up without a father, that will be 100% the truth.

OOP: My mother hates to see her daughter being a single mom. I'll be honest here. my family felt ashamed to have a pregnant daughter outside of marriage. she not only wants him back in my daughter's life but she also wishes to see us back together. As for his mother. It's HIS mother I don't need to say more.

Update Post: May 13
He didn't stop with the calls and texts and I read some of the comments wondering why he suddenly wants to be in my daughter's life so I agreed to meet up with him and discuss everything yesterday. We talked for about 30 mins. 30 mins of me trying to explain to him that he literally gave up his parental rights years ago and there's no need for threatening since he legally has no right to see her if I don't allow him. While he was focused on expressing how I haven't changed and complimenting my body. His comments became too much so I decided to just leave but I noticed he was wearing a ring on his right hand and didn't hesitate to ask him about it. He said he proposed a few weeks ago but he thinks he rushed things. I asked him if she knows about my daughter and if this is why he's here. He said no she still doesn't know and he genuinely wants to be part of his daughter's life. He basically spent 30 mins flirting with no shame that he's engaged and showed no sign of being genuinely interested in getting involved. I told him to just forget about my daughter but if he wants to we can see a judge and they can laugh at him. He threatened to cut financial support and I made it clear I never really needed his help. Sending me $1000 once or twice a year with his sister was already no help and I can give back his money if he wants to.
Now I know what I did wrong but it was the only way to get the answer I needed. On my way home I called his sister and lied about how things went. I said that he told me everything and how his fiancée encourages him to be a better person and I think that's why he wants in which is a good thing. His sister told me everything I needed to know. How his fiancée has a good heart and how she didn't like it when she discovered that he has a daughter but never saw her before. She basically wouldn't have said yes if he didn't promise to try and fix things. So both his mother and sister knew the reason he wanted to get back into my daughter's life and his mother encouraged me to let him in without even being honest with me.
So all this wasn't about my daughter. It was about him and impressing his fiancée who was horrified that he wants nothing to do with his daughter. My mother gets it now but his mother called the same day asking what's the plan now. I told her there's no plan. He could have just given me full custody but he wanted nothing to do with her to the point he decided to sign away his rights. And he seemed already fine with the relationship they have which is none. She tried to make me consider letting him in because at the end it's my daughter's decision. My daughter is 5 years old what decision?? Anyway I made it clear to her that both her and her daughter legally aren't my child's family and from now on there will be no alone time with her. And if they keep pressing me I can easily cut them out.
I will discuss this with a lawyer though. I have everything documented and I'm sure he doesn't have a leg to stand on but still. Just in case he tries something.
And let me show you some of his texts that I'm very tempted to get his fiancée's number and send her some screenshots. English isn't our first language so I translated them for you
"Who sees you now would never tell you weren't ready for this. you look happier"
"You know I really didn't know how much I missed you until I saw you today"
"Good night beautiful kiss (my daughter's name) for me"
I don't know if I'm just overreacting but if my fiancé texts his ex this way. I for sure won't find it acceptable.
By the way with him back. I realized that I never really dealt with the way he broke my heart. Maybe I cried but I had to figure out my life as soon as I could for the sake of my daughter. When I gave birth all I started thinking about was my daughter. Even the nights I called him it was never to ask about 'me' it was always about 'us'. I was scared and not ready to be a mom. And now that I'm a mother I've never felt this strong. I don't know what I'm trying to say here but I'm glad how my life turned out.
Thank you for the advice. I'm glad I gathered the courage to see him. I feel so much better. At least now I know I don't have to worry about him shaking my baby's life up 🙌🏻🤍🤍
Relevant Comments:
Commenter: Im sorry you have to deal with this jerk op. So many people in your og post called it. He’s only interested in your daughter because of his new woman
Honesty block him and go very lc with his family because they are not looking out for your or your daughters best interest

OOP: Thank you. I'm planning to do that but he's still not done with the threats about telling lies to my daughter. I'm trying to gather everything I can before I block him.

Commenter: Ask the sister for the fiancée's number, say he forgot to give it to you.
Something tells me you'll be bonding over his abandoned children in a few years.

OOP: Love the idea🙌🏻 shared trauma makes for great bounding material 😂🙌🏻🤍

​

So my boyfriend 25M and I 22F have been together for almost 4 years now and recently I have felt like he is loosing attraction towards me. I don't know what to do so I'm coming here for advice.
We met on tinder summer 2020, we met just to hook up but continued to hang out and ended up dating after about 1 week or 2. I had to go to another state for college but we continued to be together, I would drive to see him every other week (about a 3 hour drive) and would stay with him. Everything was good and we had intimate time often.
We figured out quite quickly that his love language is quality time and mine was physical touch. He has never been much of a touchy person so that was something I had to get used to.
Fast forward two years we both have graduated and now live together in his hometown. I love it here, our home, our life here. He has a great job that pays great and I am very grateful for him because without him I wouldn't be able to afford this life. I love my job (I am a teacher) but it gets stressful taking care of children all day. He worked very hard to get to were he is now so I am very proud of him for it.
I do most of the cooking, we split the cleaning and chores around the house. Yes we have had some disagreements over the years about things but we have always been able to talk it through and work something out that works for both of us when we have had a long week.
We have very good communication skills in our relationship so I have never felt like I can't talk to him about something that's been bothering me. So when it comes to this I feel like I have tried so much I am just tired of talking and ready for fixing.
About 2years ago I caught him talking to another girl, she blew him off but from what I understand (parts were said on Snapchat and the rest were on messenger) he just wanted pictures and she wouldn't send them. I was gone back to my hometown for a week. I called often but he didn't talk much. Hes not much a talker on the phone so I didn't think much of it, so when I got home and I saw the messages (he left his phone open in the bathroom). The next morning I confronted him and he said he was lonely and missed me. I told him that I need to talk to him and even FaceTime but he was always too tired or not in the mood.
It took about a month to get through that but I still feel alarms going off in my head when I see him on his phone late at night or closing out apps when I walk in the room.
I feel like that was the start of me feeling like he was looking interest in me. Sexually anyways. He was always loving it every other way, I felt comforted and cared for which I didn't get while growing up.
Since than it was good, we went on weekly dates, spent time together talked through emotions when we'd get overwhelmed or was having a hard time mentally because of stress. I love him and I always felt like he loved me.
But we still were not being intimate. When I would try he'd say he was tired from work or just not in the mood. I would try to get him in the mood with massages, dirty talk, foreplay, lingerie etc. But it just didn't do anything. I found a pattern that he'd only be in the mood in the morning on Saturdays or Sundays.
When I would bring it up he'd say he didn't realize that's what he was doing and he was sorry for making me feel like he wasn't attracted and that he loves me very much and he just doesn't have much of a sex drive because of the medication he is taking or work has been a lot. He was also getting his bachelor's online and that was also taking a lot of energy from him. I always understood.
One Friday when I got home I did the cleaning, I cooked and served him before he had his weekly gaming night with his friends I tried to get him in the mood and I was shut down like always. "I'm too tired and I just want to relax and get the game ready for tonight." Is what he said. So I left him alone, I had a good night by myself with dessert some wine and get up the bathroom for a bath.
Before I got in the tub I realized I forgot my robe in our bedroom, so I got on a towel and went over to get it and when I opened the door I found him in bed jerking off to some porn. Which I found out later that he doesn't watch porn on sites he comes on Reddit.
"I'm sorry, I forgot my robe!" I blurted out after I stood in the door a second stunned because I have never walked in on him before. I hurried and got my robe before sprinting out the door back into the bathroom. I heard him yell I love you and something else but I shut the door before I heard.
At first I laughed because it's embarrassing to be caught and it was just funny to be honest. Then I started crying, I felt like I hadn't cried in so long from how hard I cried. It hurt. To only be touched, kissed more than just a peck, once a month. It hurt more than I realized.
I understand that its easier to just take care of it yourself, I'm no one to judge, you know yourself best and there is no shame in that. And sometimes yes sex can take a lot of energy. But to be shut down every time, it wasn't like I was asking all the time like I'm a horndog, it fucking hurt.
After a few hours in the bathroom I finally went to bed and he was sound asleep. I felt like I was being dramatic, like I was crazy and I needed to get over myself.
The next day I explained how I have been feeling. How it feels like I'm just someone that comes home and cooks, takes care of things and then we sleep in the same bed.
He said he didn't notice this and thought everything was going good. I have brought up how little we have sex before and it was always the same answer. I told him that yes everything has been good, but I just don't feel like your attracted to me anymore, how we used to have sex weekly, more than once a week. After that we had more conversations and had intimate times more but still limited, I took what I could get.
It was still only when he'd be in the mood but still I felt like it had to have something else to get in the mood, like he'd only be ready after being on his phone or if his office/bathroom for a while. Or right when he'd come home from work. I still felt like I couldn't get him in the mood.
Lately at night he has been going out to the living room before bed saying he was too hot in the room, which I understood because he gets hot easy and I get cold so I always have multiple blankets. We sleep with separate blankets for that reason, which other people said is weird for a couple but I'm fine with it as long as I get my blankets.
As more of a joke I asked him if he goes to the couch to jerk off and then come back to bed. He said yes sometime. Which again hurt. I'm right here! What do I have to do to get some dick! He said he didn't want to lie and say no but he also didn't want to hurt my feelings.
I just don't know what to do anymore, I just want him to look at ME and see something he wants. I want him to want me. I want him to see me and think how sexy I am and want me. Am I not good enough? Do I gross him out? Have a done something to make him not want that from me? I am chubby, but he said he likes chubby girls and I never felt insecure about it till all this...What do I do?

as the title says, i graduated high school last year and am close to finishing up my first year at community college right now. just trying to get a feel for what i want to do in the long run before transferring to a bigger university.
unfortunately i lost the majority of my long-term friends my senior year of high school. they weren’t great people and we had a falling out that was inevitable looking back on it. i currently have 3 friends, though we rarely talk and never hang out in person, so it feels like having none.
i feel like i do all of the things you should do to find friends but i never get past the initial acquaintance stage. i have a job and have good relationships with my coworkers, i talk to people in my classes, etc. i even tried joining the school’s band but it didn’t work out, plus no one seemed to be there to make friends like i had hoped. i try has hard as i can to “put myself out there” despite being an anxious person.
i know people always say that i’ll “find my people” eventually and i get that but i am so lonely. its so bad that my mental health is suffering. the only people i can confide in are my parents, and even then i don’t want to share certain things with them. even though my old friends didn’t treat me great we had good moments and i just want someone to spend time with.
if anyone can give me some advice, preferably something new/uncommon that i haven’t tried i’d appreciate it. i really am just desperate at this point.
TLDR: lost all close friends senior year of high school, now lonely in college and looking for advice

I am STILL NOT the Original Poster. That is still . She posted in and .
You can read the previous BORU's here and here. New Update marked with ****\* Thanks to u/Choice_Evidence1983 and u/Direct-Caterpillar77 for letting me know!
Trigger Warning: brief mention of murder
Mood Spoiler: happy ending
Original Post: April 16, 2023
Throwaway because I have in-laws on Reddit.
Myself (25F) and my fiancé (27M) have a 2 month old son. We are overjoyed at being parents, but most of my in-laws are refusing to even see our baby because of a decision we made concerning his name.
My in-laws have a tradition of giving the first-born son of every generation the same name. Let's say it's "Peter". This has been going on for about seven generations already, and they're very serious about it. My fiancé's eldest cousin was the latest person to get named Peter. Every one of his cousins has only had daughters so far, so our baby is the first son of his generation, and consequently should get the name.
I have no problem with the name Peter, and would've been okay with naming my son that. Unfortunately, that was also the name of my uncle, who died before I was born. I won't get into details, but it was tragic and traumatizing for my family. My father never got over losing his younger brother.
My grandmother asked the family not to name any of our future children Peter during her lifetime. My MIL and FIL knew about this promise, and at first seemed to not only be okay with us avoiding the name Peter, but also supportive of the one we chose.
However, my grandmother sadly passed away when I was 7 months pregnant. We traveled for her funeral. On our last days there, my in-laws called to offer me their condolences. Then my MIL asked me if I was willing to "think about the name Peter now."
Suddenly, they were insistent that the name we chose was awful and we had to honor their tradition. According to them, they had only agreed to make an exception for us for my grandmother's sake, and had no obligation to keep it now that she had passed.
My family agrees that while it's true we don't have to avoid the name anymore, it still doesn't feel right to use it. My fiancé agrees with me as well, but his parents spent the last weeks of my pregnancy trying to convince us to change our minds about the name.
When our baby was born and we named him what we wanted, my in-laws were furious that we had broken a 7-generation-old family tradition. Some of them hadn't previously wanted to name their sons Peter, but did it anyway for the family's sake. They said our decision was selfish, and that my family "should have moved on by now."
This has truly nothing to do with whether my family has moved on or not, it just felt like a betrayal to my grandmother and uncle's memories to even consider using the name.
My FIL offered us $1000 to change our son's name to Peter after he was born. That was two months ago, and neither of my fiancé's parents have met the baby or seen us since I was pregnant. Most of my in-laws are on their side, and this is causing a huge rift between my fiancé and his family. He assures me he's fine, but I'm starting to feel really guilty about this.
AITA?
EDIT: The tradition started, as far as I know, when OG Peter died and his son, also named Peter, named his firstborn after his father. Peter III ended up having the first son of the following generation, and did the same thing. That one died before having children, so his sister gave the name to her son, and so on. The name “Peter” is very common in my country, so none of them ever got bullied over it, and the fact that it was also my uncle’s name isn’t as unlikely as one might think.
Also, middle names aren’t used in my country. Most people get the maternal surname before the paternal one instead.
EDIT 2: It wasn't 1000 dollars. Different country, different currency. It's still a lot of money, but would probably translate to about 200 USD.
Relevant Comments:
Can you use Peter as a middle name?"
Our country/culture doesn't generally use middle names. If we did, I'd be willing to think about that, even though my son's name doesn't match "Peter"."
How many Peters are alive right now in your family???"
There are 3 living "Peters" in the family right now. Only the eldest (my fiancé's great uncle) actually goes by Peter. The other two have nicknames ("Pete", "Petey", etc)."
OOP is voted NTA
Update Post: May 24, 2023 (a bit over 1 month later)
(OOP's post was removed from AITA, and reposted on her profile. I'm using the date of the AITA post. Comments are also from AITA)
I posted this on AITA, but it got removed about an hour ago because I mentioned a violent encounter on an edit. I tried editing it out and getting it back up, but it didn't work. I'm posting here in case anyone still wants to read it.
Original
Thank you so much to everyone who commented and offered support. A lot has happened since I posted, so I thought I'd give you an update.
About a week after my post, my fiancé's parents contacted us. They apologized for their behavior, and begged to meet my son. They said they were ready to leave the naming debacle behind and truly wanted to be involved in their grandson's life.
We were skeptical, but invited them over to meet the baby. The visit went well. They began coming over almost every day during the next three weeks. I noticed neither of them ever called my son by his name, but I didn't point it out. For the first time in months, things seemed good between my fiancé and his parents.
One day, my fiancé was helping my FIL with something at our place, so my MIL and I went to the park with my baby. Some time later, I had to go to the bathroom, so I left him in the stroller with her.
When I got back, she was sitting on a park bench, chatting with a woman who was cooing over my son. I went over there and introduced myself as "(son's name)'s mom", and she said, "I thought his name was Peter."
I didn't say a word, and neither did my MIL. She followed me to the car and we went back to my apartment. On the way there, I texted my fiancé about what had happened. The moment we got there, he kicked both his parents out of our place.
He'd read my texts and confronted his father. Thankfully, my FIL is a terrible liar, and confessed immediately. Apparently, both my in-laws ONLY call my son Peter. That includes whenever they're talking about him, every time they introduce him to someone else, and even baby-talking to him on the few occasions they were left alone with him. Neither of them are embarrassed by this, and they both think they're in the right.
We're heartbroken. Especially my fiancé. Not only because his parents can't let go of their pride, but also because the name we chose for our son means a lot to us both.
I blame myself for encouraging my fiancé to allow them near our son. I was raised in a different city than all my grandparents, and always wished they could have been more involved in my life. Losing my grandmother didn't help. Pretty much every doubt I had only existed because I thought it would be important for my son to grow up with all of his grandparents around.
But now, all my guilt is gone. If they can't respect my son enough to call him by his name, they don't deserve to be in his life.
I hope they enjoyed the three weeks they had with their grandson. Because that's all they're getting until they get their heads out of their asses.
EDIT: I thought I'd clarify some things. First of all, I'm not comfortable sharing my son's name here, but I promise it's not a "yooneek" name or anything like that. It's perfectly normal and popular-ish in our country.
Secondly, I mentioned this in the comments, but while my family didn't try to dictate me on my son's name, they would never be comfortable with it. My uncle Peter passed almost three decades ago, but it forever changed everyone who knew him. My grandmother's wish might seem a bit irrational, but it was motivated entirely by grief and it didn't seem right to disrespect that just because she's not around anymore.
And to whoever PM'd me that my fiancé's only on my side to keep the peace, he didn't want to use the name either. Months before I got pregnant, he told me he hoped one of his cousins would have a son before we did, because he always hated the tradition and sympathized with my family. He's just as angry at his parents as I am, if not more. Also, most of his cousins and some other relatives have come around and apologized.
Relevant Comments:
Are they this unhinged in other areas of your life too?"
According to my fiancé, they've always been a little entitled, but I never really saw them enough to be able to say that. I will say that, though they were polite, they very clearly didn't care about me until we moved in together. My MIL pretended not to remember my name every time she saw me, and my FIL would lose interest in any conversations that weren't about him. Once it was clear me and my fiancé were in for long term, they started acting a lot more friendly towards me, but it never seemed sincere."
Have other family members come around yet?"
Most of my fiancé's cousins have come around, and his brother was always on our side. His grandmother and some of his aunts and uncles are with us too. His grandfather (divorced from his grandmother), two out of three living Peters (the two oldest) and pretty much everyone else are either still mad at us or haven't reached out to talk about it yet.
My entire family is on my side. They promised not to interfere in the naming process, but are relieved we didn't name him Peter."
One more note on the $1000 offered in the first post:
"And that's $1000 in MY country's currency. It roughly translates to $200USD." (note- OOP clarifies in a comment that she is Brazilian)
OOP drops this horrible bombshell about her uncle, the one who died before she was born:
"My uncle was murdered. My grandmother's request was motivated by trauma."
"Again; my family would be mostly fine with naming my son Peter. My dad and my aunt might have been uncomfortable, and my grandmother asked us all not to do so, but I wouldn't have been disowned if I had. It simply felt disrespectful, especially since my grandmother passed shortly before my son was born.
My uncle's death was traumatic for my family, but the name Peter is hugely common in my country."
Update Post 2: July 28, 2023 (3 months from first post)
My son is now 5 months old (almost six!). We're still NC with my fiancé's parents, who haven't seen us since May. We've both blocked them everywhere. His relatives who were on our side still are, and most of the ones who weren't haven't come around. If anything, they're even more pissed now.
I remember someone suggesting that my fiancé's family might stop using the name after we decided not to. Well, you were right. Last week, one of my fiancé's cousins announced she was pregnant with a boy. She included her baby's name in the announcement, and it's not Peter.
What followed was a string of aggressive Instagram DMs from both MIL and FIL. They both created accounts for the sole purpose of contacting me. I didn't see them until two days later. They sent me almost an hour worth of voice messages about how I'd "ruined their family".
They wish their son had never met me, that he'd see me for "who I truly am", and that I'd never gotten pregnant. Many of the messages ended with "I hope you're happy now", as if they thought they were getting the last word, only to think of something else they wanted to say. There was name calling, an accusation of me cheating, and the persistent refusal to refer to my son as their grandchild.
My fiancé and I listened to the messages together. He hadn't gotten any. As much as I tried to distance myself, I was in tears by the time it was all done. I still don't regret anything, specially after the stunt they pulled back in May, but I'm not completely free of the guilt yet. Not to mention their complete disregard for their grandson. I was already having an overwhelming week, and this just seemed like the final straw.
I must have spent close to an hour sobbing in my fiancé's arms. Once I was calmer, he unblocked his parents just to scream at them for a while. I only heard his side of the conversation, but it was more than enough. He finished the call by saying he didn't want to hear from them again.
We had a long talk afterwards. My fiancé opened up about the emotional blackmail by his family before and after my pregnancy. My in-laws were close to threatening him with anything they could if we didn't name our son Peter. I told him about my guilt, and how awful I feel for putting him through this. We reassured each other, cried a bit more, and had a mostly pleasant evening with our baby.
We contacted his cousin. The family is giving her shit for breaking the tradition again. They're being way less aggressive though, and I think many of my in-laws are finally learning to let go. We're not expecting any apologies anytime soon, but we'll be glad if they come.
Our wedding will be in September 2024, and whoever doesn't give us a sincere apology until then is uninvited. My fiancé's parents are banned either way. We came to that decision together.
Also, I'd like to address some comments on my previous update about how I was "letting my family's trauma win", or how the name wouldn't be hurtful now that my grandmother has passed.
I can't stress enough the damage my uncle's death caused. He was only 30 years old. He had a fiancée, a great career and his whole life ahead of him. I don't know many details about what happened, because I didn't want to upset my family by asking. My grandmother wasn't the only person hurt by this, my entire paternal family was. And if I remember correctly, the person responsible isn't even in jail anymore. It was more than 20 years ago, but the wound never truly closed.
So yeah, I think it's safe to say the tradition is over. The next Not-Peter will be here in January, right before my son's first birthday. It was never my intention for this to turn into such a shitstorm, but I'm so incredibly proud of my little family.
Thank you so much to everyone who shared their stories and offered advice during these last few months. I'll be forever grateful for all the support I got from y'all.
*****New Update Post: May 13, 2024 (13 months from OG post, about 10 from last post)****\*
Hey everyone, it's been a while. I hope you guys had a great Mother's Day!
I remember that last year, I promised myself I'd write a final update as soon as I felt calmer or felt the situation was closer to being solved. That actually happened months ago, but I've been busy lately.
Following my previous update, my fiancé's side of the family remained upset about the tradition being over for a few more months. They were way less intense about it, specially with the pregnant cousin I mentioned, but it was still evident.
That cousin's Not-Peter (almost a year later, I still can't think of a better term) was born in January. Our son turned one the next month. I think the fact that these two things happened so close together helped many of my in-laws let go of the tradition.
We got a few apologies we weren't expecting. Some of them were sincere enough that we slowly started reestablishing contact.
My fiancé's parents were not among those who apologized. We haven't spoken to either of them since last July. From what I've heard from some of his other relatives, however, MIL seems regretful. She has told some of them that she wishes she could be part of her grandson's life, and wonders if making his name a hill to die on was a bad decision. FIL, from what I gather, barely acknowledges my baby exists.
My fiancé knows about how his mother feels, but he says he doesn't care. And even if we did get an apology, I don't think either of us can forgive his parents. As much as we're mostly okay now, it sometimes feels like their treatment of our family ruined the first few months of our baby's life. I know that's not actually true, but I don't want them around my child.
Besides all that, things have been great. My son is 15 months old now, which I don't think I'll ever really get used to. He recently started drawing and has been expanding his vocabulary. He said "mamãe" first, by the way.
My fiancé and I are still getting married in September. We're thinking about moving abroad in a couple years (for work reasons), but we're not sure yet. We also recently got a dog (sadly, we didn't name him Peter).
This will be my final update. Whatever guilt I had about this situation a year ago is completely gone, and my life has been peaceful enough that it feels safe to say the shitshow is over.
Hugo, if you ever find this, you are the most fantastic thing that has ever happened to us. Thank you for letting me be your mom.
Thank you, Reddit, for all the love, advice and support you've given me this past year.
Relevant Comment:
Commenter: Whilst this may be your final update on the naming sage, you said you are getting married in September 2024 and MiL&FiL aren't going to be invited.
Prepare for more craziness from them at that time and good luck :)

OOP: I really do think this is over. My fiancé's parents don't know when or where we're getting married, so I'm not worried about them showing up. They haven't reached out to us in months, and we have no interest in contacting them.

I know the title sounds a bit nasty but once I provide context I hope others will understand.
My best friend who I’ll call George and I have been best friends since we were kids, always had the same interests, always wanted to do the same kinda job. When we finished high school we both decided we wanted to pursue a paramedic career.
We both applied to universities and luckily got accepted into the same place. Things were literally perfect and once we completed our degree, we applied to work at the same ambulance stations and luck hit us again and we managed to be assigned to the same station. Our shift patterns were different but we were able to do overtime shifts together, and after a few years managed to get a shift pattern together, and it couldn’t have been anymore perfect working your dream career with your best mate.
Where things soured however was when a senior paramedic role opened up. This is like a team leader role where you have more clinical skills, and have your own team of paramedics you manage. I was offered the job role, and was told George was the runner up.
George told me on our many 12 hour shifts together that he would love to do this kind of role. So because A. I wasn’t really interested in moving to a manager role yet, and B. This is something George wanted to do, I decided to refuse the offer on the condition George would receive it. Which he did.
It was kept secret for a bit that I refused so he could take it but one of the other senior paramedics told him, and at first he was incredibly grateful, and things were great between us. However, 7 months ago I noticed some changes in his behaviour and attitude.
He became more distant, wasn’t as chatty, didn’t want to hang out as often. This was really weird since we literally would see each other most days. When I pulled him up on it, he just said it was because he was busy with the responsibilities of the new job.
I accepted that for a while, but yesterday things came to a head and I was upset at not seeing my best friends for weeks on end. When I pushed for a real explanation, he straight up told me we can longer have a best friend relationship because as he’s my manager, it wouldn’t be professional and would bring into query any favouritism.
I said I would happily change managers if that was a concern, however he shut that idea down and said it wouldn’t matter since he’s still a manager. Every solution I tried to make wasn’t good enough and he eventually just said we can no longer be best friends because it could jeopardise his role as a senior paramedic and to just drop it and maintain a professional relationship.
After everything we went through together and did together I’m genuinely heartbroken. I feel like I’ve just lost a big part of myself. And I know it sounds bad but I wish I never gave up that promotion if I meant I’d still have my best friend with me. Maybe I’m selfish for that but I’m genuinely sobbing over losing him.