After a long battle with thinking that it's not ADHD it's just I'm not putting effort I finally decided to give a shot at getting diagnosed and went to a psychiatrist I didn't particularly tell him I was thinking I have ADHD for not creating any bias in diagnosis and ended up getting diagnosed with anxiety with a anti depressant and clonampro prescribed to me I wasn't doubting it so I took the 30 days dose and nothing changed with me so I went to psychiatrist to follow up this time I ended up saying I think I had ADHD to which in response he told me to meet a psychologist so I booked and appointment for it ended up talking about my life experiences for about 1 and hour half and she didn't feel like I have much ADHD symptoms and recommended me to get personality test and ended up telling me to continue talking anxiety meds as it takes time to work and shifted me to a Fluoxetine 40mg from 20mg it's been another month and nothing has changed and I don't know what I should do now
These are the symptoms I experience :Feeling lazy and sleepy all the time and procrastinate things till the last minute till the pressure gets me to act
Trouble with personal hygiene even getting normal things done like brushing and bath feels like a task and trying to avoid it which led to me getting a root canal and 4 fillings last year
Avoiding social interaction for a long time going out only twice or thrice during the month
Same with school and college I used to skip a lot because I couldn't find the patience to stay I was enrolled in classes for boards initially I went but then I started skipping those as well.
COVID helped me with college as lecturers were online but I couldn't really pay attention to them cause it would space out and can't rewind stuff in live lectures so I just joined those lectures for attendance then when those lectures recordings were available offline I used to watch them later so I could rewind any part where I spaced out .
Taking impulsive decision and feeling guilty after taking them like spending money on something I don't really need or in game purchases
Hyperactivity and Fidgeting keep moving my legs and pulling hairs when doing something that doesn't interest me with slight active tremors in hands which have not gotten worse since I have no problem with writing and doing daily tasks experiencing for last 5 years that I can remember
Trouble with concentrating and forgetful which leads to silly mistakes repeatedly. Haven't sit still for an hour concentrating on something without getting up or moving legs or making up some kind of excuse just to get up and avoid the task that I was supposed to do
Problem of maintaining eye contact during a conversation and spacing out during a conversation having issues to do both at the same time which sometimes lead to very awkward moments.

The Unconventional Business Model of Adam22's No Jumper Adam22, whose real name is Adam Grandmaison, has carved out a unique niche in the world of hip-hop media with his wildly popular No Jumper podcast and brand. His journey from running a BMX blog to becoming one of the most influential voices in the underground rap scene is a testament to his entrepreneurial spirit and unwavering dedication. From BMX to Hip-Hop Adam22's foray into the world of media began in 2006 when he started a blog called "The Come Up" (TCU), which quickly became the go-to destination for BMX enthusiasts. His passion for the sport and his ability to connect with the community laid the foundation for his future success. As TCU gained traction, Adam22 expanded his reach by launching a BMX-inspired clothing line called ONSOMESHIT and opening a retail store in Downtown Los Angeles. This diversification allowed him to tap into multiple revenue streams and solidify his brand's presence in the BMX world. The Pivot to Podcasting In a serendipitous turn of events, Adam22's friendship with underground rapper Xavier Wulf led to his first in-depth interview, which garnered an overwhelmingly positive response. This unexpected opportunity opened the door to the world of hip-hop media, and Adam22 seized the moment. The No Jumper podcast was born, and Adam22's unique approach to interviewing up-and-coming artists quickly set him apart from traditional rap media outlets. His ability to connect with artists on a personal level and his genuine interest in their stories resonated with both the artists and their fans. The No Jumper Business Model Adam22's success with No Jumper can be attributed to his unconventional business model, which combines multiple revenue streams and leverages the power of social media and online communities. Merchandise and Sponsorships One of the core components of the No Jumper business model is merchandise sales. Adam22 has leveraged his brand's popularity to create a line of No Jumper apparel, which has become a coveted item among fans. This merchandise not only generates revenue but also serves as a powerful marketing tool, with fans proudly displaying their allegiance to the brand. In addition to merchandise sales, No Jumper has attracted sponsorships from various companies seeking to tap into the influential underground rap scene. These sponsorships provide a steady stream of revenue and allow Adam22 to maintain creative control over his content. Live Events and Touring No Jumper's success has also paved the way for live events and touring opportunities. Adam22 has organized No Jumper shows featuring up-and-coming artists, providing fans with an immersive experience and generating additional revenue streams. Online Presence and Community Building Perhaps the most significant aspect of Adam22's business model is his ability to leverage the power of online communities and social media. No Jumper's YouTube channel, with its extensive library of interviews and content, has amassed a massive following, generating substantial revenue through advertising and sponsorships. Moreover, Adam22 has cultivated a dedicated online community through platforms like Reddit and Instagram, where fans can engage with the brand and each other. This community-building approach not only fosters loyalty but also creates opportunities for monetization through exclusive content and merchandise offerings. Challenges and Controversies While Adam22's unconventional approach has undoubtedly been successful, it has not been without its challenges and controversies. Some critics have questioned the ethics of his business practices, particularly his involvement in the management of controversial artists like XXXTENTACION. Additionally, Adam22's candid and unfiltered interview style has sometimes drawn criticism from those who perceive it as insensitive or exploitative. However, his supporters argue that this approach is precisely what sets No Jumper apart and resonates with the underground rap community. The Future of No Jumper As the landscape of hip-hop media continues to evolve, Adam22's ability to adapt and innovate will be crucial to the longevity of No Jumper. His willingness to embrace new technologies and platforms, coupled with his deep understanding of the underground rap scene, positions him well for continued success. One potential avenue for growth is the expansion of No Jumper into a multi-media empire, encompassing not only podcasts but also video content, live events, and even record label ventures. By diversifying his offerings and leveraging the power of his brand, Adam22 could solidify No Jumper's position as a dominant force in the world of hip-hop media. Conclusion Adam22's journey from BMX blogger to hip-hop media mogul is a testament to the power of passion, perseverance, and unconventional thinking. His ability to identify and capitalize on emerging trends, combined with his unique business model, has allowed him to carve out a niche in the highly competitive world of hip-hop media. As the industry continues to evolve, Adam22's willingness to embrace change and his unwavering commitment to authenticity will undoubtedly shape the future of No Jumper and inspire a new generation of entrepreneurs to forge their own unconventional paths to success. Watch Video Preview

I have lived out of the USA for the majority of the time since 2021. In 2021, I was working a W2 job, and Aetna sent out a check to me to reimburse me for out of network services. The check never arrived and since mid 2021, I've been calling them every couple months to receive a status update. Still don't have the check. I believe it was for mid four figures.
So last year, I was on Cigna Global coverage. I had to go to the ER and spent about 10k out of pocket (doctors were worried I had endocarditis). I submitted the claims right after I left the ER, and I got email confirmation of the claims being submitted. A couple months later, late 2023, I followed up with them through their secure message portal, and through their online chat, and through phone, asking for an update. They said they were working on it.
I called them again in April 2024. They said they would send to the escalation team and get back to me. They didn't. In May of 2024, I contacted my state's insurance division, and they told me to contact a different US agency. I called that agency, and over the phone they were of no help, just telling me 'tHat's whY you HaVe to saVe the ConfirMaTioN of the ClaiMs beIng SubmItted'. I... have email confirmations of all the claims, lol.
So anyways, I post about my experience on social media, and someone from Cigna's social media account gives me an email to reach out to. I reach out to them through email, and someone messages me through their secure portal. They say thanks for submitting, and tell me it will take up to 30 days to get a response back. Surprise, no response back. In fact, in my Cigna account, the claims aren't even showing up under 'submitted claims'.
So, what the fuck do I do? I've spent countless hours on Cigna (not to mention Aetna). I have 15k worth of claims that I can't get paid. I'm truly at wits end, sometimes feel like on the verge of crying when thinking about how I've been abused by this health care system. I'm also worried because if I get sick (my doctor said I am at risk for kidney stones), I don't want to see a doctor, because I don't want to pay out of pocket anymore.

Long time lurker here (36yo). I have gone low contact and no contact with my family in the past. I've been the family scapegoat since I was born.
I grew up in an abusive household where my needs were not being met. I wouldn't be taken to the doctor if I was unwell and I was taught to fear such individuals. I have a neurodevelopmental condition which means I used to stammer, stutter, make odd noises and repeat the same things over and over. I would be physically hit or beat up for the slightest hint of emotion or display of these traits. My earliest memory was being 3yo and being screamed at to the point of meltdown by my mother that I was "A bad person and to pack my stuff up because I was going to be taken to jail." She would put her hand over my mouth if I laughed, cried or made any noise. I must have told my kindergarten teachers of the abuse because every day I went out I was told, "What is said in this house stays in this house." All my school reports, birthday certificates and documents are hidden from me. I'm not allowed access to these.
I would be served a singular burger with a few chips for my dinner and wear clothes which needed replaced but they "couldn't afford" which caused bullying in school. I wasn't allowed to bath or shower regularly because I would take too long and "their work is more important than your school" so I would bathe once a week. I have issues with passing stools and if my parents were needing the toilet they would batter on the door, force me to stop whatever I was doing and get out. If i didn't get out I'd be called derogatory names and the threat of physical violence was always there because they were unpredictable.
I would be called derogatory names by parents, fat by other family members and my other sibling was the golden child, they were allowed to bite me, throw things at me and as they got older they would engage in substance misuse which wouldn't get as severe consequences. The last time I was hit was when I was sixteen unprovoked for no reason. I was held down on my bed with my mother wrapping her thighs around me attacking and hitting me and when I started hyperventilating I got it even worse because I was faking it. When it became clear they realised I was old enough to press charges they started taking away my internet access. I was always accused of looking to start an argument. They didn't sign any of my funding to do further education because they didn't want me to go to college and be independent. I would self fund instead.
Eventually I went into a homeless place to escape the abuse. They tried to get me to come back home, they tried to throw money at me and when it didn't work they threatened to come and take my stuff out of the accomodation because they saw my belongings as their property.
Years on and I have my own place closed to them and because they cannot get away with the physical abuse anymore it's largely mental. My sibling depends on them for handouts of money and cigarettes even though they are working and own their own place. I am dependent on social security for my disability and this means I was able to return to education where I'm training to be a healthcare worker through disability support. I have been becoming more independent, taking small day trips and it's clear they are jealous and want to keep me unwell and become dependent on them by falsely claiming I'm not disabled to target my financial security. I don't ask or get money off them.
It came to a head when my sibling is claiming they are mentally unwell and using this to prove I am not disabled. The family have told me they are fed up of me, that my own mental health is the reason why they are all struggling and they are not taking any personal responsibility for their own life stresses.
After witnessing my family targeting an older man, covering up the evidence and openly stating they are going to put mental pressure on him and make his "end days a living hell". I blocked all contact, walked out of their house, told them I won't be spoken like this anymore and I reported them to the police. The police have assured me that I can make a report about the historical abuse I have had growing up and that they are there to support me through making that report.
I have been falling behind in assignments. I may lose my place at college which is what they want too. I am considering moving out of the country for my own safety as my sibling is now posting publicity on social media that they want to unalivw themselves because I have blocked the whole family and they know some rough types but it means losing my place to train to become a healthcare worker.
I guess I'm just looking for some advice and support. I am terrified. I have even ordered a DNA test because the abuse has been that extensive that I don't believe I am theor biological child. It doesn't help that my sibling says they have no baby pictures of me gaslighting me to think I'm adopted.
Should I relocate and try to get a place at another training institute when I am safe? Should I come forward and make a report to the police about the historical abuse? What if I'm not believed? How do I go about the possibility of fake welfare concerns if I do disappear? (They don't care enough to check on me but they would likely do this maliciously down the line) How do I deal with the public posts on social media? What should I do if my family ever approach me? I have made it clear I never want to speak to or see them again.

The Unconventional Business Model of Adam22's No Jumper Adam22, whose real name is Adam Grandmaison, has carved out a unique niche in the world of hip-hop media with his wildly popular No Jumper podcast and brand. His journey from running a BMX blog to becoming one of the most influential voices in the underground rap scene is a testament to his entrepreneurial spirit and unwavering dedication. From BMX to Hip-Hop Adam22's foray into the world of media began in 2006 when he started a blog called "The Come Up" (TCU), which quickly became the go-to destination for BMX enthusiasts. His passion for the sport and his ability to connect with the community laid the foundation for his future success. As TCU gained traction, Adam22 expanded his reach by launching a BMX-inspired clothing line called ONSOMESHIT and opening a retail store in Downtown Los Angeles. This diversification allowed him to tap into multiple revenue streams and solidify his brand's presence in the BMX world. The Pivot to Podcasting In a serendipitous turn of events, Adam22's friendship with underground rapper Xavier Wulf led to his first in-depth interview, which garnered an overwhelmingly positive response. This unexpected opportunity opened the door to the world of hip-hop media, and Adam22 seized the moment. The No Jumper podcast was born, and Adam22's unique approach to interviewing up-and-coming artists quickly set him apart from traditional rap media outlets. His ability to connect with artists on a personal level and his genuine interest in their stories resonated with both the artists and their fans. The No Jumper Business Model Adam22's success with No Jumper can be attributed to his unconventional business model, which combines multiple revenue streams and leverages the power of social media and online communities. Merchandise and Sponsorships One of the core components of the No Jumper business model is merchandise sales. Adam22 has leveraged his brand's popularity to create a line of No Jumper apparel, which has become a coveted item among fans. This merchandise not only generates revenue but also serves as a powerful marketing tool, with fans proudly displaying their allegiance to the brand. In addition to merchandise sales, No Jumper has attracted sponsorships from various companies seeking to tap into the influential underground rap scene. These sponsorships provide a steady stream of revenue and allow Adam22 to maintain creative control over his content. Live Events and Touring No Jumper's success has also paved the way for live events and touring opportunities. Adam22 has organized No Jumper shows featuring up-and-coming artists, providing fans with an immersive experience and generating additional revenue streams. Online Presence and Community Building Perhaps the most significant aspect of Adam22's business model is his ability to leverage the power of online communities and social media. No Jumper's YouTube channel, with its extensive library of interviews and content, has amassed a massive following, generating substantial revenue through advertising and sponsorships. Moreover, Adam22 has cultivated a dedicated online community through platforms like Reddit and Instagram, where fans can engage with the brand and each other. This community-building approach not only fosters loyalty but also creates opportunities for monetization through exclusive content and merchandise offerings. Challenges and Controversies While Adam22's unconventional approach has undoubtedly been successful, it has not been without its challenges and controversies. Some critics have questioned the ethics of his business practices, particularly his involvement in the management of controversial artists like XXXTENTACION. Additionally, Adam22's candid and unfiltered interview style has sometimes drawn criticism from those who perceive it as insensitive or exploitative. However, his supporters argue that this approach is precisely what sets No Jumper apart and resonates with the underground rap community. The Future of No Jumper As the landscape of hip-hop media continues to evolve, Adam22's ability to adapt and innovate will be crucial to the longevity of No Jumper. His willingness to embrace new technologies and platforms, coupled with his deep understanding of the underground rap scene, positions him well for continued success. One potential avenue for growth is the expansion of No Jumper into a multi-media empire, encompassing not only podcasts but also video content, live events, and even record label ventures. By diversifying his offerings and leveraging the power of his brand, Adam22 could solidify No Jumper's position as a dominant force in the world of hip-hop media. Conclusion Adam22's journey from BMX blogger to hip-hop media mogul is a testament to the power of passion, perseverance, and unconventional thinking. His ability to identify and capitalize on emerging trends, combined with his unique business model, has allowed him to carve out a niche in the highly competitive world of hip-hop media. As the industry continues to evolve, Adam22's willingness to embrace change and his unwavering commitment to authenticity will undoubtedly shape the future of No Jumper and inspire a new generation of entrepreneurs to forge their own unconventional paths to success. Watch Video Preview

Something happened the other day and ive already talked about it a lot with friends but it stays on my mind so id like to see what people with more life experience have to say about it
First things first, i (26F) am autistic, i can hide it quite well (i think) but i often struggle with social stuff, so it is very well possible ive given green signs when i didnt realise I also have never had a relationship and zero experience with romance or crushes
So, now for what happened, the other day, i met up with a guy (24M) after chatting online for a while, he wanted to pay for everything but since im a Dutch girl in Japan and he is a Japanese guy, i thought it might be cultural differences or something idk what i thought This was may 12th, and he found out my bday was 2 days away, so he asked if i had anything to do, i said no and he in response asked if i wanted to celebrate with him. And sure, why not, i didnt have anything to do and i had a lot of fun hanging out with him So may 14th we go to dinner and all goes well, it was fun and he finds out i am moving next week, so he suggested to help. I told him many times id appreciate it but only if he wanted to and i didnt wanna pressure him or anything, but he helped. The move was may 20th, and this time i nade sure to pay for dinner, as a thank you for helping me move During this dinner he found out i had never done karaoke, so he convinced me to go with him This was later that week, i think the 23rd I am way to shy for karaoke but we had fun, towards the end he grabbed my hands and noticed a new ring i bought, he wrapped his arm around me and swayed back and forth a bit and in my autistic mind this was all part of karaoke, idk he did chose love songs, but i thought cuz he thought we would both know them Then out of nowhere he kissed me on the cheek, it took me a moment to process and in this moment he wants to actually kiss me, he caught me completely off guard and i pulled away making things SUPER awkward But he recovered fast and on our way to the subway everything was basically normal
Ive been wanting to talk to him about it since, to tell him i am autistic and what that means for me and possibly for him, so he can make his choice if he still likes me, but he has cancelled for being sick twice now, he does still say he really wants to meet me but idk Maybe i am over thinking this and he is actually sick, or maybe i did something wrong
I also have no idea how i feel, or what i am even supposed to feel, i have never liked anyone beyond platonically and even though it does make me happy whem he texts, so does when my bestie texts, so i have no idea I have never been in a relationship or even had feelings, to the point ive started to identify as asexual
So basically, i guess what im asking, did i do anything wrong since he cancelled twice now. And once i do get to talk to him, what do i say, i kinda have a general idea, but advice on this would be nice
TLDR: guy tried to kiss me and now im confused about everything, asking for advice on what to tell him

Here's the list of funds that reported GME positions to the SEC for March 2024 (most recent reporting period).
Data was parsed from N-PORT filings directly from the SEC:
https://efts.sec.gov/LATEST/search-index?dateRange=custom&category=custom&startdt=2024-01-01&enddt=2024-06-01&forms=NPORT-P

Fund	Shares	Market Value	Loaned Shares Market Value	Estimated Loaned Shares
iShares Core S&P Mid-Cap ETF	8,362,468	104,698,099.36	97,300,907.76	7,771,638
VANGUARD TOTAL STOCK MARKET INDEX FUND	8,131,396	101,805,077.92	84,045,508.0	6,712,900
VANGUARD SMALL-CAP INDEX FUND	6,622,509	82,913,812.68	71,854,784.0	5,739,200
VANGUARD SMALL-CAP VALUE INDEX FUND	4,464,490	55,895,414.8	52,362,421.04	4,182,302
VANGUARD EXTENDED MARKET INDEX FUND	4,020,333	50,334,569.16	45,878,288.0	3,664,400
SPDR S&P MidCap 400 ETF Trust	2,196,118	27,495,397.36	0.0	0
iShares S&P Mid-Cap 400 Value ETF	1,575,205	19,721,566.6	18,919,510.36	1,511,143
SPDR(R) Portfolio S&P 400 Mid Cap ETF	987,852	12,367,907.04	11,129,581.18	888,944
iShares Russell Mid-Cap ETF	781,141	9,779,885.32	5,059,857.84	404,142
iShares Russell 1000 Value ETF	686,228	8,591,574.56	8,507,001.96	679,473
SPDR(R) S & P 400 Mid Cap Value ETF	537,387	6,728,085.24	6,046,433.84	482,942
iShares Russell Mid-Cap Value ETF	469,177	5,874,096.04	4,754,557.64	379,757
SPDR(R) S&P(R) Retail ETF	468,908	5,870,728.16	4,940,409.42	394,601
VanEck Video Gaming and eSports ETF	434,847	5,444,284.44	0.0	0
JNL Mid Cap Index Fund	355,404	4,449,658.08	2,267,922.88	181,144
iShares Core S&P Total U.S. Stock Market ETF	290,811	3,640,953.72	2,698,085.04	215,502
EQ/Mid Cap Index Portfolio	250,298	3,133,730.96	553,772.16	44,231
iShares Core S&P U.S. Value ETF	212,862	2,665,032.24	1,660,026.8	132,590
Northern Mid Cap Index Fund	207,379	2,596,385.08	0.0	0
College Retirement Equities Fund - Stock Account	200,844	2,514,566.88	2,489,376.64	198,832
iShares Russell 1000 ETF	194,046	2,429,455.92	2,189,885.72	174,911
VANGUARD BALANCED INDEX FUND	177,479	2,222,037.08	1,840,440.0	147,000
Large Cap Index Master Portfolio	176,004	2,203,570.08	1,205,225.28	96,264
MoA Mid Cap Equity Index Fund	155,985	1,952,932.2	0.0	0
College Retirement Equities Fund - Equity Index Account	138,452	1,733,419.04	1,716,078.84	137,067
Index 400 Stock Portfolio	137,294	1,718,920.88	0.0	0
Empower S&P Mid Cap 400 Index Fund	125,083	1,566,039.16	728,088.08	58,154
Mid Cap Index Trust	122,575	1,534,639.0	1,880,150.0	150,172
NVIT Mid Cap Index Fund	119,550	1,496,766.0	1,569,403.05	125,352
MetLife Mid Cap Stock Index Portfolio	103,443	1,295,106.36	1,342,707.84	107,245
STATE STREET SMALL/MID CAP EQUITY INDEX PORTFOLIO	95,724	1,198,464.48	1,129,204.57	90,192
LVIP SSGA Mid-Cap Index Fund	94,354	1,181,312.08	0.0	0
JNL/Mellon Consumer Discretionary Sector Fund	90,343	1,131,094.36	1,131,094.36	90,343
AZL Mid Cap Index Fund	83,599	1,046,659.48	892,851.28	71,314
EQ/400 Managed Volatility Portfolio	80,974	1,013,794.48	946,606.92	75,608
Amplify Video Game Tech ETF	74,435	931,926.2	903,956.52	72,201
iShares Russell 3000 ETF	71,260	892,175.2	880,343.8	70,315
THRIVENT MID CAP INDEX PORTFOLIO	67,312	842,746.24	799,564.76	63,863
Calvert VP S&P MidCap 400 Index Portfolio	59,972	750,849.44	0.0	0
AVIP S&P MidCap 400 Index Portfolio	55,253	691,767.56	0.0	0
Strategic Equity Allocation Trust	51,955	650,476.6	796,700.0	63,634
Calvert U.S. Large Cap Value Responsible Index Fund	48,596	608,421.92	0.0	0
iShares Russell 2500 ETF	46,037	576,383.24	951.52	76
SPDR(R) Portfolio S&P 1500 Composite Stock Market ETF	39,886	499,372.72	449,430.44	35,897
EQ/Common Stock Index Portfolio	39,200	490,784.0	0.0	0
T. Rowe Price Extended Equity Market Index Fund	38,104	477,062.08	0.0	0
Schwab Crypto Thematic ETF	35,096	439,401.92	0.0	0
MidCap Stock Portfolio	32,935	412,346.2	408,214.6	32,605
Calvert U.S. Large Cap Core Responsible Index Fund	31,480	394,129.6	0.0	0
Fidelity Mid Cap Value Index Fund	30,010	375,725.2	368,088.0	29,400
EQ/Mid Cap Value Managed Volatility Portfolio	28,796	360,525.92	341,313.72	27,261
JNL/Mellon U.S. Stock Market Index Fund	27,968	350,159.36	350,159.36	27,968
ATM Mid Cap Managed Volatility Portfolio	27,895	349,245.4	229,895.52	18,362
JNL/RAFI Fundamental U.S. Small Cap Fund	27,812	348,206.24	0.0	0
EQ/Large Cap Value Managed Volatility Portfolio	25,530	319,635.6	0.0	0
AST T. Rowe Price Asset Allocation Portfolio	24,874	311,422.48	295,472.0	23,600
VANGUARD TAX-MANAGED CAPITAL APPRECIATION FUND	24,685	309,056.2	0.0	0
Fidelity Enhanced Mid Cap ETF	23,460	293,719.2	264,172.0	21,100
Voya RussellTM Mid Cap Index Portfolio	22,835	285,894.2	271,759.12	21,706
SFT Index 400 Mid-Cap Fund	22,089	276,554.28	0.0	0
iShares ESG Screened S&P Mid-Cap ETF	19,825	248,209.0	206,918.04	16,527
VOYA INDEX PLUS MIDCAP PORTFOLIO	17,734	222,029.68	101,850.2	8,135
Bridge Builder Tax Managed Small/Mid Cap Fund	15,386	192,632.72	0.0	0
Calvert U.S. Mid Cap Core Responsible Index Fund	15,037	188,263.24	0.0	0
JNL/DFA U.S. Small Cap Fund	14,808	185,396.16	0.0	0
Empower Mid Cap Value Fund	13,964	174,829.28	173,076.48	13,824
PD Large-Cap Value Index Portfolio	12,964	162,309.28	0.0	0
Bridge Builder Large Cap Value Fund	12,910	161,633.2	0.0	0
Virtus AlphaSimplex Global Alternatives Fund	11,646	145,807.92	0.0	0
T. Rowe Price Mid-Cap Index Fund	11,156	139,673.12	0.0	0
VIP Extended Market Index Portfolio	10,546	132,035.92	128,956.0	10,300
EQ/Large Cap Value Index Portfolio	10,427	130,546.04	0.0	0
TEXAS CAPITAL TEXAS SMALL CAP EQUITY INDEX ETF	10,276	128,655.52	0.0	0
T. Rowe Price Total Equity Market Index Fund	8,800	110,176.0	0.0	0
PD Mid-Cap Index Portfolio	8,684	108,723.68	0.0	0
AZL Russell 1000 Value Index Fund	8,551	107,058.52	104,905.08	8,379
SA U.S. Small Company Fund	8,267	103,502.84	0.0	0
AST Prudential Growth Allocation Portfolio	8,115	101,599.8	96,404.0	7,700
Bridge Builder Small/Mid Cap Value Fund	7,777	97,368.04	0.0	0
GuideMark Large Cap Core Fund	7,342	91,921.84	90,056.36	7,193
MassMutual Disciplined Value Fund	6,358	79,602.16	0.0	0
SIMT LARGE CAP INDEX FUND	6,300	78,876.0	78,738.28	6,289
AST T. Rowe Price Growth Opportunities Portfolio	6,101	76,384.52	71,364.0	5,700
TIAA Separate Account VA-1 - Stock Index Account	6,029	75,483.08	0.0	0
Goldman Sachs U.S. Equity Dividend and Premium Fund	5,300	66,356.0	62,600.0	5,000
Total Stock Market Index Trust	5,203	65,141.56	79,050.0	6,314
VIP Total Market Index Portfolio	5,082	63,626.64	61,348.0	4,900
GuideMark Small/Mid Cap Core Fund	4,972	62,249.44	0.0	0
Retailing Fund	4,381	54,850.12	31,362.6	2,505
LVIP Dimensional U.S. Core Equity 2 Fund	4,091	51,219.32	0.0	0
AZL DFA U.S. Small Cap Fund	3,793	47,488.36	0.0	0
1290 VT Socially Responsible Portfolio	2,972	37,209.44	35,216.58	2,813
LVIP Dimensional U.S. Core Equity 1 Fund	2,914	36,483.28	0.0	0
TIAA-CREF Life Stock Index Fund	2,912	36,458.24	36,082.64	2,882
Humankind U.S. Stock ETF	2,625	32,865.0	0.0	0
State Street Total Return V.I.S. Fund	2,500	31,300.0	0.0	0
JNL/DFA U.S. Core Equity Fund	2,216	27,744.32	0.0	0
SA Multi-Managed Mid Cap Value Portfolio	2,206	27,619.12	0.0	0
Syntax Stratified MidCap ETF	2,160	27,043.2	0.0	0
SPDR(R) Portfolio MSCI Global Stock Market ETF	2,040	25,540.8	0.0	0
New Covenant Growth Fund	2,040	25,540.8	0.0	0
The Institutional U.S. Equity Portfolio	2,036	25,490.72	0.0	0
First Trust S-Network Streaming & Gaming ETF	1,976	24,739.52	0.0	0
Value Equity Index Fund	1,865	23,349.8	23,349.8	1,865
Calvert US Large-Cap Core Responsible Index ETF	1,848	23,136.96	0.0	0
AZL DFA U.S. Core Equity Fund	1,792	22,435.84	0.0	0
Calvert US Mid-Cap Core Responsible Index ETF	1,685	21,096.2	0.0	0
Retailing Fund	1,524	19,080.48	12,807.96	1,023
SA U.S. Core Market Fund	1,519	19,017.88	0.0	0
Wilshire 5000 Index Fund	1,424	17,828.48	17,640.68	1,409
Mid-Cap 1.5x Strategy Fund	961	12,031.72	9,014.4	720
ProFund VP UltraMid-Cap	833	10,429.16	9,703.0	775
SPDR S&P 1500 Value Tilt ETF	776	9,715.52	0.0	0
VOYA BALANCED PORTFOLIO	698	8,738.96	8,651.32	691
Calvert U.S. Large Cap Growth Responsible Index Fund	592	7,411.84	0.0	0
THRIVENT ESG INDEX PORTFOLIO	506	6,335.12	5,008.0	400
Mid-Cap 1.5x Strategy Fund	354	4,432.08	3,317.8	265
State Street Balanced Index Fund	148	1,852.96	0.0	0
SPDR S&P 1500 Momentum Tilt ETF	84	1,051.68	0.0	0
Unusual Whales Subversive Republican Trading ETF	18	225.36	0.0	0

Totals

Shares	Market Value	Loaned Shares Market Value	Estimated Loaned Shares
44,465,086	556,702,876.72	444,847,623.08	35,530,960

Over the past few months I've grown to really dislike my job. One thing that kicked this off was being around my coworkers for a company event (I am primarily remote) and realizing I didn't "fit in". I like my companies mission and product but I'm not obsessed with it. Everyone else seems to have this undying loyalty to the company that I really can't relate to. I realize my behavior is starting to get me dinged when it comes to promotions and raises. Comments such as "you're exceeding in this area but I feel like for us you can be doing more" or "*insert coworker* went above and beyond and did this. Could you do more of that." and my personal favorite "You're not promoting us on social media. Can you post more about us." I feel like these type of comments penalize me for not being obsessed with my job.
I look at work as a means to an end. In my opinion, as long as I like the work that I'm doing and I'm being compensated in a way that allows me to achieve my financial goals then I am fine. I don't mind the extra things that go into corporate life such as, networking, upskilling, playing office politics, etc because those serve a purpose and will get me to my goal. But I just really draw the line at making a company my personality.
Has anyone else gone through this? Do you feel like being "money motivated" has made you the oddball among your team? Also what are some industries that don't "penalize" for this mindset. I feel like Big Tech is one of them but idk about others.

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I've had some ideas for a while on how some TI mechanics could be reworked or implemented differently. I figured that I may as well write them out to post here. Just to be clear, I'm not saying the game should necessarily add any of these, they're just ideas I think would be interesting to discuss.
Factions
Unified player faction: Instead of picking from the 7 factions at the start, the player always begins as a UN committee trying to formulate a response to the crisis. Your actions during the early days align you towards one of the factions.

• 2 factions are guaranteed to split off around the time that the Academy crackdown currently happens
  • If you align with Humanity First or Resistance, Protectorate and Servants leave
  • If you align with Academy, Initiative, or Exodus, HF and Servants leave
  • If you align with Servants or Protectorate, HF and Resistance leave
• Depending on how you manage the other factions, you'll likely have 2 more split off by mid-game

Faction Senate: This idea was inspired by the Galactic Council from Stellaris. The UN space council is a body of 100 members formed a few months into the crisis that starts with little power, but can grow in power and implement bigger policies as the game progresses.

• Factions try to align council members towards their voting bloc through various methods
  • Bribery, lobbying, blackmail (spending money, influence, ops)
  • Controlling appointment of new members
    • At game start, members selected from random country, weighted by total CP, similar to EU4 bishops
    • Appointed councilors have a chance of being a faction member based on CP control of the country they're from
    • Change to direct proportional elections, regional proportion system, or 2 members per independent country
• Initial UN announcement decision can give more starting aligned members
  • Public announcement grants 10 members, subtle manipulation grants 6, staying in the shadows grants 2
• The space council can implement a variety of policies. Policies take time to implement based on resources available, taken from IP taxes and faction contribution
  • Sanctioning non-democracies
  • Changing how councilors are chosen
  • Deploying sun shades
  • Forming a world government
  • Inviting representatives from the Alien Administration
• Countries and factions can withdraw to starve the organization of funding and legitimacy, at the cost of becoming unable to influence it anymore and losing any benefits it can bring

4 faction start: Each faction starts in a pair with another faction. The factions still play the same as now, but basically you have a guaranteed ally to start with.

• Eventually the differences in the faction will cause issues
  • You can resolve your differences and merge the other one into your faction
  • Purge the other faction to destroy them. You'll get the majority of their assets but many are destroyed or taken by others
  • Split amicably
• Factions
  • Anti-alien: Resistance / Humanity First, moderate vs radical
  • Coexistance: Academy / Protectorate, idealistic vs cynical
  • Pro-alien: Servants / Aliens, partial vs total subjugation
  • Unaligned: Initiative / Project Exodus, short-term vs long-term escapism

Orgs
Orgs as actors: This idea is inspired from a discussion on this subreddit. Orgs act like restricted councilors, able to perform certain actions on their own.

• Action set depends on category of org
  • Foreign intelligence can increase unrest in other countries
  • Domestic intelligence can crackdown and defend interests in its own country
  • Media companies can increase support
  • Special forces can assassinate and detain
• Orgs have skill level of 4/8/12 based number of stars
• Existing government orgs will perform certain actions even if no faction owns them
• Orgs can still be set to support councilors, like what they do now

Org development: Orgs can be created and leveled up

• Private orgs require money and time investment
  • Factions can start an org in any category they want with a time and money investment as well
• Government orgs leveled up through IP investment
  • Countries have org capacity, similar to councilors, but based on GDP
  • Consumed org capacity costs IPs, similar to armies
  • Nations can create new orgs from specific categories
    • Foreign/domestic intelligence
    • Counterterrorism
    • Special forces
    • Research

Org charts: Every organization, including CPs, is made up of org charts of characters. Control of CPs depends on controlling specific positions at the top of each chart

• Most characters only have limited simulation, just a name/age/nationality.
  • Characters will get moved around occasionally due to promotions, dying, retiring, losing election, etc.
• Factions recruit characters to their side, then promote them internally like in Shadow of Mordor
  • Certain forms of recruitment don't reveal the character as a member to allow infiltration
• Controlled characters can be promoted to a faction's inner circle and become a full councilor
• Org structure depends on the type of org
  • Promotion/appointment system
  • Internal elections
  • Number of executives
  • Power of different roles

Control Points
Control point autonomy: Control points will have some control over investment

• Direct control, ie trade unions automatically siphon some IPs to welfare
• Soft requirement like spoils, ie defense sector demand on a percent of IPs directed towards military

Increased priority weighting: Certain CPs will count for double when calculating the percent of IPs assigned to a priority

• Corporations counts as 2 CPs for the economy category
• Executive counts as 2 CPs for all categories

Resources
Near-future alloys: Got the idea from the nanofiber in 3 Body Problem. Create a mid-tier resource that has to be manufactured on Earth or in orbit to build mid-game modules and ships

• Modern alloys assumed to be cheap and easy to manufacture, costs stay as basic resources

I am the aforementioned “professor” in a BORU post about me related to posts in subreddit. I decided to post a response after this event was brought up again with a mutual, Maria. We’re both hanging out as I type this. She and I have both hung out with “boyfriend” (Bob) in group settings and think there are definitely two sides to this story. My main gripe is being portrayed as a drunk and a man-stealer. Below is the original BORU post that I found while browsing one day. Also, someone did find me after reading this post due to how specific it is. I am responding pararaph by paragraph so you do not need to read the original post, feel free to.
The title in BORU is below as I cannot link other subreddits. (Was able to link, after the fact)

Do I (28F) need to worry about my boyfriend's (24M) friendship with his professor (25F)?

https://www.reddit.com/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/7mIcJp6t7n

My bf (24M) became friends with his former professor (25F), sometime last year - I don't know what to make of it. They seem to be friendly and talk consistently every week, and from what he tells me, it's usually very surface level. Sometime last year after the course ended, my bf, his professor, and some of his male classmates went somewhere to eat together. My bf brought up that he was going to be attending an event (plastic modeling show), and his professsor showed interest and invited herself to the event and asked if she could stay at his airbnb with his friends. My bf and his friends were all OK with it.

I was an instructor for one class/semester that BF (Bob) attended. I have no say or sway at the school and have not taught since then. I taught a class related to my profession. I did not get to know Bob personally until after the class was over. On the last day, he expressed that I was a great instructor and gave me a miniature he built as a show of gratitude. I also made miniatures (a different type though) and was intrigued that someone else was into this hobby. We stayed in touch. Later, I invited a few students for a meal (girls and guys) and the boy students were the only ones who RSVP’d yes. Bob did mention an event. I did not invite myself, I said me and my friend Linda were interested and may go too. Later on, Bob invited me to join their group’s airbnb because I was looking at hotels. A previous event trip fell through for my and Linda’s friend group and I felt bad she couldn’t go on a trip in the USA before she had to go back to her home country. This trip was to replace that experience. Bob invited us to the airbnb and Linda and I shared a room with 2 beds, Maria ended up coming on this trip as well, which the group was also okay with, and stayed in the same room with me and Linda

I unfortunately couldn't attend the event, but from what my bf told me, he and a few of his friends met up at their airbnb. That same day, his professor comes to my bf's airbnb and tagged a few of her girl friends along (I believe they all stayed in the same place). The next day, they go to the event, went to a bar afterwards and got drinks. A lot of them (except my bf) got pretty drunk and my bf took the liberty of being the designated driver for his professor and her friends. His professor won some model kit from the event, and even in her drunken state, asked my bf if he could stay up with her to work on the kit together. From what my bf tells me, nothing else happened that night.

Respectfully, I had one cocktail and then his friend bought everyone a shot. That was the extent of my drinking. I wasn’t drunk, Linda wasn’t drunk, and no one else in the group ended up being drunk., Maria was though. Maria underestimated how strong the drinks were and she was the DD and we did not have enough time to sober up once she felt the alcohol hit her. She couldn’t drive, I didn’t want to drive her dad’s car, and Linda doesn’t have a US driver's license. Bob offered to drive the car with me, Linda, and Maria back to the airbnb. The other car was driven back by his friend who was not drunk and drove sober. At the airbnb, Bob asked what i would do with the model kit I won, I said i am not familiar with this type of miniature and so I would sell it on facebook marketplace. He said it was actually easy to build, he had built that one before, and he could help me build it right then as all their tools for building were still out on the table. I said he didn’t have to but he insisted and I accepted his help. I was also still not drunk. Next to us in the living room, Maria and 2 of the guys were watching Ouran High Scool Host Club and Cowboy bebop. We all stayed up until 2AM building or watching anime. For half of the trip, me and the girls split off and did our own thing. We did not stay with the group the entire tip because our intent was to piggy back a small girls weekend while also seeing the event.

After the event, everyone from that group created a group chat and they continue to plan and talk about future events together. Since then, my bf and his friends had met up with his professor and got to meet his professor's fiance at an anime convention and it sounded like they all got along well. His professor continues to express interest in other events and it sounds like she may be attending another event with my bf and his friends in the near future.
I trust my boyfriend and don't think he is hiding anything from me. Honestly speaking, I think it's hard for me to understand their friendship as it is his professor. I've had a conversation with him on this, and he's let me know that I have nothing to worry about. I would like to hear other's opinions and see what ya'll think of this friendship? Is this something I need to be concerned about or is it really nothing?
Thank you all!
\Edit: the professor was my bf's former professor. She is classified as an adjunct faculty and works as an accountant as her full time job (which explains why she is a young professor).*
\My bf has not graduated college yet and is still a student at his university.*

Bob and his group went to an anime convention. I and my friend group also went because I was not aware there was one near me until Bob mentioned it. My friend group, I thought, got along well with his friends and it was a great first con experience. I and a few of my friends expressed interest in future events. I think she is hung up on this professor titleship but I was an instructor whom students called professor but I was very clear this was a side gig and I was had a career. I was never in any position of power at the school, I was a contract employee used to fill an open course section at an undesirable time. For the majority of the time I knew Bob, we were equals who were only 1 year apart in age and shared a similar hobby.

Relevant Comments:
You should go to one of the events with him:
"I do struggle with social anxiety so it makes me uncomfortable to be sharing a space with a lot of unknown people. I am hoping to go to the next event though since it's local."
Her relationship with students is grossly unprofessional:
"I'm totally with you - I am also quite confused of her choice of "friends". I am not sure why of all places, does she choose to share an airbnb with her former student and to be drunk with them. She is classified as an adjunct faculty, so she is a professor but is part time (she works full time as an accountant). The whole situation feels weird to me."
Clarification:
Commenter: You say “his professor” what is their specific academic connection? She taught him once years ago and now they’re roughly equals and friends? Or she’s his primary support for a PhD? Or what?
OOP: The first option - she taught him last year and now are now friends. He is no longer in a course with her. I totally understand how it's possible for students and their professors to be friendly, but i've never heard or seen of a friendship where you consistently talk and hang out together so casually.
So she's no longer his professor- they are two adults of the same age and power level:
"It kind of gives me the same vibes like if a student graduated HS and is friends with their young teacher (obv not the same thing, but a student-teacher relationship is there). I think as a teacher, you should still uphold that level of professionalism and mentorship, even if you are no longer the student's teacher.
I also want to note that they are technically not "equals" since they're both in relationships. She can't be acting however she wants with former students."

I respect that they view my actions unprofessionally. I did not view it as such since I was no longer an instructor and have not been since. I taught a 4 month course one day a week. I would not be friends with an 18-22 year old I had nothing in common with.

Update: my boyfriend and I had a more heart-to-heart talk regarding his teacher and he recognizes that it crossed some of my boundaries. He believes that she may be behaving the way she does because when she hangs out with her fiance's friends, she gets bored with them (and may possibly be seeking attention from other people?). Several weeks later, my boyfriend had a conversation with his college instructor regarding their friendship and told her how I didn't feel comfortable of their friendship and how he thinks they should keep communication at a minimum. She brought up how she understands because her fiance also had an issue with how she chose to share an airbnb with my bf. She mentions to my boyfriend that she sees him as a brother and that's why she feels really comfortable with him, but that she will try to respect my boyfriend's wishes of keeping conversations at a minimum.

I did not know it had crossed any of their boundaries at the time until the phone call. I treated Bob the same way I treated all of my friends but I do understand and respect that not everyone has the same view of friendship. My friend group went through a period where we would talk about going to stuff and then no one does any work to follow through. The event Linda and our friends were going to attend that never happened is a good example. I didn’t want lazy friends being the reason why I did not experience things. Bob did follow through on going to things. My husband’s concern was that it was a group of guys we had not met yet in person and we were all girls. I told him that if I thought any one of them was giving off weird vibes, we would immediately leave and get a hotel. As for the phone call, he did call to tell me basically the same and my understanding was that we should talk less because she does not like the closeness. At the time, we were messaging every day and I did make an attempt to reduce the frequency to once a week.

Well, even after that talk, she continues to still message my boyfriend weekly on random life updates. And because she is also part of my bf's chat in discord, one of his friends invited her to attend another plastic modeling show (it occurred recently) and dinner. Since she accepted the invitations, I chose to attend as well so that I could personally meet her. The dinner occurred first and it was very uncomfortable because she practically ignored me the entire night. When she joined us at the table, she greeted my bf but didn't say anything to me (even my bf noticed and got annoyed, but then introduced us). She got increasingly drunk throughout the night and was saying random stuff about my bf to his friends like "he could've been the best student in my class but it's cause he missed some assignments" and "[bf's name] gave me a 5 star review on rate my professor!". She ended up not going to the show, but my bf had a chat with his guys and they told him that they want to respect my feelings too and make it a guys' night next time.
I would like to hear other's opinions and see if you also think she is acting suspicious?

One thing left out is that during the phone call between Bob and I, I asked Bob if his GF would want to ever talk to or get to know me, or all 3 of us hang out, and he said he asked her and she said she did not want to do that and she was uncomfortable at the thought of meeting me. I did stop messaging him frequently and only did so once a week to ask how his job search was going and to let him know the status of a big event in my life. I thought that was what was requested, less interaction, not no interaction. Maria and I went to this dinner because everyone from the airbnb trip was going to be there (Linda did not go). What is not mentioned is that Bob and the GF arrived 40 minutes into eating. I nodded in their direction when they came and said hey in their general direction, not specifically at Bob or her. I did not talk to either specifically because (1) GF does not like me and him talking and I was not about to directly talk to Bob in front of her (2) she said she did not want to talk to me or get to know me and never retracted that statement. I learned Bob and GF thought it was a slight against them that I only said hey to Bob but I didn’t direct it to anyone and I was trying to play it safe. Had I known she came to personally meet me, I would have tried to talk to her. After learning why she came, I was surprised she did not talk to me even though she came to meet me. As for the alcohol, except for them, since they arrived late, everyone had 2-3 drinks already because it was happy hour. Me and Maria made friends with the bartender who gave us discounted cocktails. I even bought a drink for GF so she could get the discount and then pay me back. It is true I said those jokes but I said them in jest and these were jokes already made previously. To be fair, she did not try to talk to me at all, nor did she try to talk to Maria. Later that week, Maria called me to catch up and mentioned the dinner. She commented that GF made no effort to get to know us and thought GF went to monitor him and me. In essence, she ignored me and Maria and Maria and I ignored her. I did not go to the show because I had a prior commitment.

Relevant Comment:
She wants to have sex with your boyfriend. She's crossing major boundaries. Has he stopped conversation with her?
"I wouldn't be surprised if that is her intention cause there's def some shady people out there. I agree, she is crossing some professional and personal boundaries, and I think it's quite unusual behavior for any teacher to act like that. Yes, he has stopped communicating with her. She was consistently messaging him until last week...so hopefully she got the memo.

As mentioned in her post, I did view Bob as a brother. He lived similar experiences to me but I felt like he was where I would have been had I not moved out from my parents when I did. I wanted to see him professionally thrive and accomplish his goals of getting a car and moving out as those were things I strived for but had already attained. As for the 5-6 times we met up, it was in group settings and he met all of my friends and my husband as well. This post, to me, makes it seem like I was always hanging on to Bob but there were many instances of me and my friends breaking off to do our own thing. My husband and Linda’s husband were both okay with us going to the airbnb at the time and later on met and got to know Bob too. Each time we met, if I drank, I had 2 drinks and one time I had 3. I am not sure how Bob told these events to his GF so it may just be lost in translation but the only person who ever got drunk at a meet up was Maria and it was once. I do not agree with her stating that I was constantly drunk for each meet up or always asking/inviting myself to things. He invited me to join his airbnb group (i asked if Linda and Maria could join me), I did ask to join his group for another event until my friend group arrived (which included my husband, Linda, and Maria), and his friend invited me to the group dinner (Maria attended). To this day, his GF has never said a word to me or Maria (she did not say hi, only waved to us), nor us her. When I offered to order and bring her cocktail from the bar, I believe Bob was the one who responded to my offer. I only found out about what she was thinking via this BORU post. Linda, Maria, and I haven’t talked to Bob since, this was a cathartic write with Maria as it is very jarring to randomly find a post about yourself and then also have someone find you from that post.

The Fresh and Fit channel experienced a meteoric rise due to several key factors: 1. Provocative and Controversial Content : The channel gained traction by tackling controversial topics related to dating, relationships, and gender dynamics in a confrontational style. Their bold and unapologetic takes, often deemed misogynistic by critics, generated significant buzz and attention. 2. Charismatic Hosts : The dynamic chemistry between hosts Myron Gaines and Walter Weekes (Freshprinceceo), along with their charismatic personalities, resonated with a significant portion of the audience seeking advice on dating and self-improvement. 3. Capitalizing on the "Red Pill" Movement : Fresh and Fit tapped into the growing "red pill" ideology, which promotes traditional gender roles and criticizes modern feminism. Their content aligned with and amplified these views, attracting a dedicated following within this community. 4. Leveraging Social Media : The hosts effectively utilized social media platforms like Instagram to promote their content and engage with their audience, further amplifying their reach and popularity. 5. Controversial Guests and Debates : The channel frequently hosted controversial guests, such as OnlyFans models, Instagram influencers, and other "red pill" figures, leading to heated debates and confrontations that fueled engagement and viewership.
The Rise and Fall of Fresh and Fit: Unpacking the Controversial "Red Pill" Movement on YouTube In the ever-evolving landscape of social media, a new breed of content creators has emerged, captivating audiences with their bold and divisive perspectives on gender dynamics, relationships, and societal norms. At the forefront of this movement stands Fresh and Fit, a YouTube channel that has garnered both fervent support and intense criticism for its unapologetic embrace of the "red pill" ideology.Hosted by Myron Gaines and Walter Weekes (known as Freshprinceceo), Fresh and Fit has amassed a staggering following, with over 1 million subscribers and videos regularly garnering millions of views. However, beneath the veneer of their provocative content lies a complex web of ideologies, controversies, and societal implications that warrant a closer examination. The "Red Pill" Ideology: A Primer To understand the phenomenon of Fresh and Fit, one must first grasp the core tenets of the "red pill" movement. Originating from the 1999 film "The Matrix," the term "red pill" has come to symbolize a metaphorical awakening to perceived harsh realities about gender relations, feminism, and the dynamics of power between men and women.Adherents of the "red pill" ideology often espouse traditional gender roles, criticize modern feminism, and advocate for a hyper-masculine approach to dating and relationships. They reject what they perceive as societal conditioning and embrace a worldview that emphasizes male dominance, female submission, and the pursuit of sexual conquest.In the words of Myron Gaines, the author of the controversial book "Women Deserve Less," the "red pill" philosophy is about "leveling up and the double-edged sword of social media." This sentiment encapsulates the movement's emphasis on self-improvement and the perceived need for men to assert their dominance in a world where gender dynamics are perceived as skewed in favor of women. The Rise of Fresh and Fit The meteoric rise of Fresh and Fit can be attributed to several key factors, each contributing to the channel's ability to captivate and polarize audiences. 1. Provocative and Controversial Content: Fresh and Fit gained traction by tackling controversial topics related to dating, relationships, and gender dynamics in a confrontational style. Their bold and unapologetic takes, often deemed misogynistic by critics, generated significant buzz and attention. As one Reddit user aptly described, "They invite the weirdest pornstars and only fans women with the trashiest mindset and act as if they are representative of all women." 2. Charismatic Hosts: The dynamic chemistry between Myron Gaines and Walter Weekes, along with their charismatic personalities, resonated with a significant portion of the audience seeking advice on dating and self-improvement. "Myron led a sinful lifestyle, with high body count n all, n his wealth will attract," commented a Reddit user, highlighting the allure of their personas. 3. Capitalizing on the "Red Pill" Movement: Fresh and Fit tapped into the growing "red pill" ideology, aligning their content with and amplifying these views, attracting a dedicated following within this community. As one critic noted, "They are scamming young guys hard and it makes me sad to see. They are selling courses for like $800 to 'teach' guys how to hit on girls on Instagram." 4. Leveraging Social Media: The hosts effectively utilized social media platforms like Instagram to promote their content and engage with their audience, further amplifying their reach and popularity. "They give off insecure vibes and only bring on girls that are 10 years younger then them," observed a Reddit user, highlighting their strategic use of social media. 5. Controversial Guests and Debates: The channel frequently hosted controversial guests, such as OnlyFans models, Instagram influencers, and other "red pill" figures, leading to heated debates and confrontations that fueled engagement and viewership. As one critic noted, "They bait them or subtly try to make them agree with them to go like 'See guys? What have we told you?'" 6. Appealing to a Specific Demographic: Fresh and Fit's content primarily targeted young men seeking dating advice and validation for traditional masculine ideals, filling a perceived gap in the market. "A friend of mine started watching Fresh and Fit and Kevin Samuels religiously a couple of months ago after a break-up. Went from being a normal guy to someone who genuinely hates women and rants about gender roles to me all the time," shared a concerned Reddit user. While controversy played a significant role in the channel's initial growth, it ultimately contributed to its downfall as well, with YouTube demonetizing the channel due to violations of its policies. The Cult of Fresh and Fit: Indoctrination and Manipulation As Fresh and Fit's popularity soared, concerns arose regarding the potential for indoctrination and manipulation of their predominantly young male audience. Critics argued that the channel's content perpetuated harmful stereotypes, fostered misogynistic attitudes, and promoted a distorted view of gender relations.In a thought-provoking video essay titled "The Cult of Fresh and Fit," YouTuber Aba & Preach delved into the psychological tactics employed by the channel, drawing parallels to cult-like behavior. The video highlighted how Fresh and Fit leveraged techniques such as love-bombing, us-versus-them mentalities, and the creation of an echo chamber to solidify their influence over their followers."They give me revenge of the nerds vibes," commented a Reddit user, alluding to the channel's appeal to a demographic of disaffected young men seeking validation and a sense of belonging. This sentiment underscores the potential for Fresh and Fit's content to foster a toxic subculture that perpetuates harmful attitudes and behaviors. The Societal Impact: Misogyny, Extremism, and Radicalization Beyond the confines of the Fresh and Fit channel, the "red pill" ideology has been linked to broader societal issues, including misogyny, extremism, and the potential for radicalization.In a study conducted by researchers at the University of Melbourne, a strong correlation was found between adherence to "red pill" beliefs and endorsement of hostile sexist attitudes towards women. The study highlighted the potential for such ideologies to contribute to the normalization of misogynistic views and the perpetuation of gender-based discrimination.Moreover, there have been instances where individuals associated with the "red pill" movement have been implicated in acts of violence and extremism. In 2018, a self-proclaimed "incel" (involuntary celibate) carried out a deadly attack in Toronto, claiming to be part of a "rebellion" against women. While Fresh and Fit has not been directly linked to such incidents, the potential for their content to contribute to the radicalization of vulnerable individuals remains a concern. The Countermovement: Voices of Reason and Critique In response to the rise of Fresh and Fit and the "red pill" movement, a countermovement has emerged, comprising voices of reason and critique from various spheres, including academia, journalism, and social commentary.Prominent figures such as Dr. Nerdlove, a dating coach and author, have actively challenged the harmful narratives propagated by the "red pill" community. In an interview with The Guardian, Dr. Nerdlove stated, "The red pill is a toxic ideology that encourages men to view women as objects to be acquired and discarded, rather than human beings with agency and autonomy."Journalists and social commentators have also played a crucial role in exposing the flaws and dangers of the "red pill" ideology. In a scathing article for The Atlantic, Laurie Penny criticized the movement's embrace of "reactionary masculinity" and its perpetuation of harmful gender stereotypes.Furthermore, online communities such as exredpill on Reddit have emerged as safe havens for individuals seeking to disengage from the "red pill" mindset and engage in constructive discussions about healthy relationships and personal growth. The Way Forward: Promoting Healthy Discourse and Accountability As the debate surrounding Fresh and Fit and the "red pill" movement rages on, it is imperative to address the underlying issues and promote a more constructive dialogue on gender relations, personal growth, and societal progress. 1. Fostering Healthy Masculinity: Rather than perpetuating toxic masculinity and misogynistic attitudes, there is a need to promote healthy expressions of masculinity that embrace empathy, respect, and emotional intelligence. Initiatives that encourage positive role models and mentorship programs for young men could play a pivotal role in this endeavor. 2. Emphasizing Consent and Mutual Respect: Discussions surrounding dating and relationships should prioritize consent, mutual respect, and the recognition of women's autonomy and agency. Content creators and influencers have a responsibility to promote healthy and ethical practices, rather than perpetuating harmful narratives. 3. Promoting Media Literacy and Critical Thinking: In the age of social media and online echo chambers, it is crucial to equip individuals with the skills to critically evaluate information and identify potential biases or manipulation tactics. Media literacy programs and educational initiatives could play a vital role in empowering audiences to make informed decisions. 4. Holding Platforms Accountable: Social media platforms and content hosting services must take a proactive stance in enforcing community guidelines and content policies, ensuring that harmful or extremist content is promptly addressed and removed when necessary. 5. Encouraging Diverse Perspectives: Rather than perpetuating a singular narrative, it is essential to amplify diverse voices and perspectives on gender relations, relationships, and personal growth. Inclusive dialogues that embrace nuance and complexity can foster greater understanding and progress. As the Fresh and Fit phenomenon continues to evolve, it serves as a poignant reminder of the power of social media to shape narratives and influence societal attitudes. By fostering healthy discourse, promoting accountability, and embracing diverse perspectives, we can navigate the complexities of gender dynamics and relationships in a manner that upholds respect, empathy, and the pursuit of mutual understanding.

The Fresh and Fit channel experienced a meteoric rise due to several key factors: 1. Provocative and Controversial Content : The channel gained traction by tackling controversial topics related to dating, relationships, and gender dynamics in a confrontational style. Their bold and unapologetic takes, often deemed misogynistic by critics, generated significant buzz and attention. 2. Charismatic Hosts : The dynamic chemistry between hosts Myron Gaines and Walter Weekes (Freshprinceceo), along with their charismatic personalities, resonated with a significant portion of the audience seeking advice on dating and self-improvement. 3. Capitalizing on the "Red Pill" Movement : Fresh and Fit tapped into the growing "red pill" ideology, which promotes traditional gender roles and criticizes modern feminism. Their content aligned with and amplified these views, attracting a dedicated following within this community. 4. Leveraging Social Media : The hosts effectively utilized social media platforms like Instagram to promote their content and engage with their audience, further amplifying their reach and popularity. 5. Controversial Guests and Debates : The channel frequently hosted controversial guests, such as OnlyFans models, Instagram influencers, and other "red pill" figures, leading to heated debates and confrontations that fueled engagement and viewership.
The Rise and Fall of Fresh and Fit: Unpacking the Controversial "Red Pill" Movement on YouTube In the ever-evolving landscape of social media, a new breed of content creators has emerged, captivating audiences with their bold and divisive perspectives on gender dynamics, relationships, and societal norms. At the forefront of this movement stands Fresh and Fit, a YouTube channel that has garnered both fervent support and intense criticism for its unapologetic embrace of the "red pill" ideology.Hosted by Myron Gaines and Walter Weekes (known as Freshprinceceo), Fresh and Fit has amassed a staggering following, with over 1 million subscribers and videos regularly garnering millions of views. However, beneath the veneer of their provocative content lies a complex web of ideologies, controversies, and societal implications that warrant a closer examination. The "Red Pill" Ideology: A Primer To understand the phenomenon of Fresh and Fit, one must first grasp the core tenets of the "red pill" movement. Originating from the 1999 film "The Matrix," the term "red pill" has come to symbolize a metaphorical awakening to perceived harsh realities about gender relations, feminism, and the dynamics of power between men and women.Adherents of the "red pill" ideology often espouse traditional gender roles, criticize modern feminism, and advocate for a hyper-masculine approach to dating and relationships. They reject what they perceive as societal conditioning and embrace a worldview that emphasizes male dominance, female submission, and the pursuit of sexual conquest.In the words of Myron Gaines, the author of the controversial book "Women Deserve Less," the "red pill" philosophy is about "leveling up and the double-edged sword of social media." This sentiment encapsulates the movement's emphasis on self-improvement and the perceived need for men to assert their dominance in a world where gender dynamics are perceived as skewed in favor of women. The Rise of Fresh and Fit The meteoric rise of Fresh and Fit can be attributed to several key factors, each contributing to the channel's ability to captivate and polarize audiences. 1. Provocative and Controversial Content: Fresh and Fit gained traction by tackling controversial topics related to dating, relationships, and gender dynamics in a confrontational style. Their bold and unapologetic takes, often deemed misogynistic by critics, generated significant buzz and attention. As one Reddit user aptly described, "They invite the weirdest pornstars and only fans women with the trashiest mindset and act as if they are representative of all women." 2. Charismatic Hosts: The dynamic chemistry between Myron Gaines and Walter Weekes, along with their charismatic personalities, resonated with a significant portion of the audience seeking advice on dating and self-improvement. "Myron led a sinful lifestyle, with high body count n all, n his wealth will attract," commented a Reddit user, highlighting the allure of their personas. 3. Capitalizing on the "Red Pill" Movement: Fresh and Fit tapped into the growing "red pill" ideology, aligning their content with and amplifying these views, attracting a dedicated following within this community. As one critic noted, "They are scamming young guys hard and it makes me sad to see. They are selling courses for like $800 to 'teach' guys how to hit on girls on Instagram." 4. Leveraging Social Media: The hosts effectively utilized social media platforms like Instagram to promote their content and engage with their audience, further amplifying their reach and popularity. "They give off insecure vibes and only bring on girls that are 10 years younger then them," observed a Reddit user, highlighting their strategic use of social media. 5. Controversial Guests and Debates: The channel frequently hosted controversial guests, such as OnlyFans models, Instagram influencers, and other "red pill" figures, leading to heated debates and confrontations that fueled engagement and viewership. As one critic noted, "They bait them or subtly try to make them agree with them to go like 'See guys? What have we told you?'" 6. Appealing to a Specific Demographic: Fresh and Fit's content primarily targeted young men seeking dating advice and validation for traditional masculine ideals, filling a perceived gap in the market. "A friend of mine started watching Fresh and Fit and Kevin Samuels religiously a couple of months ago after a break-up. Went from being a normal guy to someone who genuinely hates women and rants about gender roles to me all the time," shared a concerned Reddit user. While controversy played a significant role in the channel's initial growth, it ultimately contributed to its downfall as well, with YouTube demonetizing the channel due to violations of its policies. The Cult of Fresh and Fit: Indoctrination and Manipulation As Fresh and Fit's popularity soared, concerns arose regarding the potential for indoctrination and manipulation of their predominantly young male audience. Critics argued that the channel's content perpetuated harmful stereotypes, fostered misogynistic attitudes, and promoted a distorted view of gender relations.In a thought-provoking video essay titled "The Cult of Fresh and Fit," YouTuber Aba & Preach delved into the psychological tactics employed by the channel, drawing parallels to cult-like behavior. The video highlighted how Fresh and Fit leveraged techniques such as love-bombing, us-versus-them mentalities, and the creation of an echo chamber to solidify their influence over their followers."They give me revenge of the nerds vibes," commented a Reddit user, alluding to the channel's appeal to a demographic of disaffected young men seeking validation and a sense of belonging. This sentiment underscores the potential for Fresh and Fit's content to foster a toxic subculture that perpetuates harmful attitudes and behaviors. The Societal Impact: Misogyny, Extremism, and Radicalization Beyond the confines of the Fresh and Fit channel, the "red pill" ideology has been linked to broader societal issues, including misogyny, extremism, and the potential for radicalization.In a study conducted by researchers at the University of Melbourne, a strong correlation was found between adherence to "red pill" beliefs and endorsement of hostile sexist attitudes towards women. The study highlighted the potential for such ideologies to contribute to the normalization of misogynistic views and the perpetuation of gender-based discrimination.Moreover, there have been instances where individuals associated with the "red pill" movement have been implicated in acts of violence and extremism. In 2018, a self-proclaimed "incel" (involuntary celibate) carried out a deadly attack in Toronto, claiming to be part of a "rebellion" against women. While Fresh and Fit has not been directly linked to such incidents, the potential for their content to contribute to the radicalization of vulnerable individuals remains a concern. The Countermovement: Voices of Reason and Critique In response to the rise of Fresh and Fit and the "red pill" movement, a countermovement has emerged, comprising voices of reason and critique from various spheres, including academia, journalism, and social commentary.Prominent figures such as Dr. Nerdlove, a dating coach and author, have actively challenged the harmful narratives propagated by the "red pill" community. In an interview with The Guardian, Dr. Nerdlove stated, "The red pill is a toxic ideology that encourages men to view women as objects to be acquired and discarded, rather than human beings with agency and autonomy."Journalists and social commentators have also played a crucial role in exposing the flaws and dangers of the "red pill" ideology. In a scathing article for The Atlantic, Laurie Penny criticized the movement's embrace of "reactionary masculinity" and its perpetuation of harmful gender stereotypes.Furthermore, online communities such as exredpill on Reddit have emerged as safe havens for individuals seeking to disengage from the "red pill" mindset and engage in constructive discussions about healthy relationships and personal growth. The Way Forward: Promoting Healthy Discourse and Accountability As the debate surrounding Fresh and Fit and the "red pill" movement rages on, it is imperative to address the underlying issues and promote a more constructive dialogue on gender relations, personal growth, and societal progress. 1. Fostering Healthy Masculinity: Rather than perpetuating toxic masculinity and misogynistic attitudes, there is a need to promote healthy expressions of masculinity that embrace empathy, respect, and emotional intelligence. Initiatives that encourage positive role models and mentorship programs for young men could play a pivotal role in this endeavor. 2. Emphasizing Consent and Mutual Respect: Discussions surrounding dating and relationships should prioritize consent, mutual respect, and the recognition of women's autonomy and agency. Content creators and influencers have a responsibility to promote healthy and ethical practices, rather than perpetuating harmful narratives. 3. Promoting Media Literacy and Critical Thinking: In the age of social media and online echo chambers, it is crucial to equip individuals with the skills to critically evaluate information and identify potential biases or manipulation tactics. Media literacy programs and educational initiatives could play a vital role in empowering audiences to make informed decisions. 4. Holding Platforms Accountable: Social media platforms and content hosting services must take a proactive stance in enforcing community guidelines and content policies, ensuring that harmful or extremist content is promptly addressed and removed when necessary. 5. Encouraging Diverse Perspectives: Rather than perpetuating a singular narrative, it is essential to amplify diverse voices and perspectives on gender relations, relationships, and personal growth. Inclusive dialogues that embrace nuance and complexity can foster greater understanding and progress. As the Fresh and Fit phenomenon continues to evolve, it serves as a poignant reminder of the power of social media to shape narratives and influence societal attitudes. By fostering healthy discourse, promoting accountability, and embracing diverse perspectives, we can navigate the complexities of gender dynamics and relationships in a manner that upholds respect, empathy, and the pursuit of mutual understanding.

Hi, I'm Shawn. I'm 35 and live in a charming little town in Virginia, just a quick 29-minute drive from Harrisonburg. I'm on the lookout for people who are genuinely interested in building real friendships. If you're someone who values regular communication and meaningful connections, we might really hit it off!
I don't usually like to talk myself up—I don't think of myself as particularly fascinating or charismatic—but I'm eager to step out of my comfort zone. I'm ready to pursue authentic connections, especially when it comes to romance. So, if you're up for building something real, let's get to know each other!
I'm a traditional geek at heart, who still gets weak in the knees at the excitement of exploring fantastical worlds. Whether it’s diving into a comic book or navigating the digital landscapes of video games, I find immense joy in science fiction, fantasy, and anime. Creating a Magic: The Gathering deck is my current project, and I love getting lost in a D&D adventure (though I'm taking a short break from that right now).
By night, I work as a security guard. In my downtime, I enjoy reading, writing fanfiction, and tuning into podcasts about Bigfoot, Dogman, hauntings, aliens, and other cryptids. While I don't participate in cosplay myself, I have a deep appreciation for the art and effort that goes into it. I also enjoy a little true crime as well, but unlike most, I don't obsess over it.
I’ve always been an animal lover, even if they aren't the cuddly type. I once owned a Hermit Crab, which was quite an interesting experience. Currently, I have a dog named Scout who, to be honest, can be kind of an asshole at times, but he has his moments. I also have a whole slew of chickens clucking around the yard. A friend offered me a chinchilla when they were downsizing, but I had to turn it down because I simply didn’t have the room.I’d love to have a bearded dragon named Spyke or a Sugar Glider named Momo one day.
I know it's important to some, but I wouldn't necessarily say I'm a supporter of the LGBTQ+ community as I believe that how someone lives their life is their business so long as they aren't harming anyone or involving children. I also use the word "Dude" in a gender-neutral manner. I believe in the importance of respecting individual preferences so weatheryouidentifyas a man,woman nonbinary or anythinginbetweenyou'llbe my Dude. Additionally, I am open to the 420 culture socially as I use it to treat my insomnia, although I'm not personally involved. Politically, I consider myself more centered, and I identify as agnostic.
At this point in my life, I’m really looking for genuine in-person connections with people who are straightforward and honest. I'm definitely not interested in running into deceitful cam girls or romance scammers trying to get my credit card info or convince me to buy gift cards. I want to meet both men and women around my age 30-49 who I can hang out with, make great memories, and spend quality time together. It’d be great if they lived nearby or are okay with some travel now and then. Especially those Who are single, not married, and don’t have kids—I'm just not up for being a third wheel.
I've noticed a trend of individuals seeking deeper connections, craving meaningful conversations, and even expressing interest in video and voice chatting. While I understand the appeal of putting a face to the name, I believe that such interactions should evolve naturally, without feeling forced. But if you insist on getting to know me on a deeper level I'll include a few things below that'll help you understand me a bit better.
So, to sum it up, I’m looking for friends who are like me: single, not married, and without children. Ideally, you’d be nearby or okay with occasional travel so we can meet up easily. Building meaningful friendships through shared activities and mutual interests is what I’m after.

 THIS AND THAT 

Early Bird or Night Owl:: Night Owl
Bookworm or Movie Buff:: Bookworm
Board games or Video games:: Both
City or Country:: Country
Favorite Color:: Purple
Favorite Season:: Summer
Musical Taste:: Variety, but Meatloaf is my favorite and I don’t like blue grass
Favorite Video Game:: Mass Effect
Favorite ME Romance:: Tali
Favorite ME Class: Sentinel
My Zombie Apocalypse Plan:: "We get in my car, drive over to Mom's. We go in, take care of Philip. 'So sorry, Philip.' Then we grab Mom, go get Liz, go to the Winchester, have a pint, and wait for this whole thing to blow over."
Gaming:: I'm all about video games, especially RPGs and sandbox games like Mass Effect and ARK: Survival Evolved.

 DEALBREAKERS 

1. Little to No Effort Life gets busy, and I don’t expect immediate responses all the time, but I do hope for some genuine interaction, consistency, and effort to keep in touch. I’ll definitely put in the same effort and energy on my end. We don’t need to have all the same interests, but having enough in common to keep things enjoyable would be awesome. Friendships is a two-way street. If I'm always the one initiating plans, reaching out, or investing in the relationship, while you show little to no effort or interest, it quickly becomes exhausting and one-sided for me. Friendship takes work, and if you're going to waste my time with prolonged periods of not texting me, then it's probably best we aren't friends. Relationships require effort from both sides to thrive, and it’s essential to value each other's time and commitment. If mutual respect and communication aren't present, maintaining the friendship simply isn't worthwhile.
   
   1. Poor Hygiene: Basic hygiene is important for personal and social interactions. If a friend's poor hygiene regularly makes it uncomfortable to be around them, it becomes a significant barrier in developing a close and healthy friendship. I'm a bigger guy so I always make sure my Hygiene is on point, teeth brush, shower twice a week and deodorant.
   2. Irresponsiblity:: As a 35-year-old adult, I expect my friends to act like grown-ups. I'm not here to play the role of a mom or a babysitter. If you happen to get drunk and out of control occasionally and you're usually a good friend, I'll ensure you get home safely. However, if every time we hang out, I find myself dealing with your drunken behavior and having to wrestle your keys away from you like you're a defiant child, I'm putting an end to our friendship. If you can't manage your finances because you blew all your money on weed and then come to me for a loan, I'm cutting ties with you. I have nothing against smoking weed, but if you can't function without it and it's become an addiction, then I'm walking away. If you engage in petty drama on social media like a teenager, I'm walking away. I simply want people around me to act like responsible adults. I've outgrown all the immature antics reminiscent of high school drama.

This is not the typical "Can I do CS at [obscure school]" post.
Instead, I was in interested in prospective students takes about the massive group of STEM students entering liberal arts colleges and the apparent lack of "arts" in these colleges over time. For context, take your average LAC where their top majors are Econ, CS, Bio (Consulting, Software Engineering, Pre-Med). At Pomona, where I attend, the top majors are CS, Econ, Math, and Politics. As a STEM student myself, I understand that we need jobs and there is a serious necessity for many international students (~14% of our campus) to major in STEM, however, it has severely limited academic, social, and cultural opportunities for many friends and myself.
For example, faculty hiring has become so concentrated in the STEM subjects that whole humanities departments can be added together and still not equal the sum of faculty in those departments. Imagine applying to a liberal arts college for art history and expecting support, and then ending up in Pomona's Art History Department where there's only 5 full time faculty, 2 of them are set to retire, and 1 of them is the director of our massive museum and will likely not have much time for you. So you realize that hm, I don't really like these professors' subspecialties, and the one prof I do, all the seniors take her classes before I can even get into them. Maybe I should consider the econ department, which has a laundry list of Profs for advising, research, and support. I want to emphasize how many of my friends essentially had this journey. When almost all of your college's research, investment, and hiring goes towards STEM, no one studies in the traditional liberal arts subjects beyond Math, Physics, Biology, and Chemistry.
But, it's not just an issue of majors. It's an issue of culture. A liberal arts college shouldn't have people spinning their heads to get into a consulting club or fighting for CS club spots. We barely have any creative clubs (and there's high demand, because, again, this is a liberal arts college), because the college has such little support in English, Music, and Art (kinda, it's a weirdly exclusive but well-funded major) that no one has any energy or spends much time producing their own work, let alone time to spend with friends creating art. It has become blasphemous to be a liberal arts major...at a liberal arts college.
Lastly. Let's go back to the student before- an art history-turned-economics major. She's now a junior in econometrics and Corporate Finance, and she does fine, not particularly well. She got an internship at Barclays that she's deeply nihilistic about. She follows another student, who graduated in Art History her freshman year, and has just graduated from Williams Masters in Art History and is going off to the MOMA as a curator! She's so happy for her, but deeply regrets her own decision not to continue art history, knowing that if she stayed, she probably would've had better work opportunities for her interests, more passion for her major, and a higher GPA. This is why I think these are wasted opportunities for students. By all means, people at a liberal arts college should have access to resources in the humanities at the level of STEM.
TLDR: LACs have become too STEM focused and its taking away opportunities for students to do what they genuinely would be good at and succeed in.

Warning: Mahabang post. LET ME VENT OUT HERE, GIVE ME YOUR THOUGHTS TOO, GUYS! Hello, F and a SHS Graduate. I've been admiring this guy na taga kabilang section since the 1st year of junior high. He's academically inclined, student leader siya, and known for being friendly. Friends niya dati yung mga kaklase ko, so may connections kami. Oo, Friendly siya, but not too friendly sakin. I think it's obvious sa kaniya na I have a crush on him since pinaparinggan siya ng mga friends ko every time we meet ways. But madami namang nagkakagusto sa kaniya, and pinapansin niya naman sila even though alam niya ang feelings nila. We're not interactive towards each other, ni hindi pa nga kami mutuals in any of our social media accounts. Sapat na yon na reason for me na dapat "happy crush" ko lang siya and hindi ko i-deepen ang feelings ko for him. But 2 months before our graduation, our interactions burgeoned. Madami kasi kaming connections, so inside those two months, for the first time talaga, we talked with each other, nagka one on one. Brief interaction lang, pero huy, grabe yung kilig ko that time kasi in almost 6 years of admiring him, yun yung first time na i felt close to him. Fast forward many days later, dumami yung interactions namin. Nanibago ako since hindi kami ganito nung past school years, ngayon lang talaga, at graduating pa. Tas sabi pa ng mga friends ko, kinikilig daw siya. They've been telling me rin na may gut feeling sila na happy crush niya rin ako, pero siyempre ayaw kong mag assume. Anyway, he sent me a friend request sa FB, tas minesssge pa hahahaha.Fast forward again, sa SHS Promenade namin, we had our FIRST pic together. AND SIYA YUNG NAG INITIATE NA MAG PICTURE KAMI??? but may story behind dun, pinaparinggan kasi siya ng friends namin na "wala daw akong partner and pwede ko ba daw siyang maging partner for dance" even though i already have a partner (friend ko) 😭. And kahit biro lang namin yun sa COF, sineryoso niya naman. Sabi niya "wala daw siyang partner" even though meron (friend niya rin). Tas sabi niya sa friends ko (WALA AKO THAT TIME) if seryoso ba sila and siya daw partner ko for the grand entrance. My friends asked him if gusto niya ba, and he said YES. Pero wala kaming assurance if mangyayari yon, kasi we didn't clarify kung true ba or joke joke lang. Kaya yun, nung prom, hindi kami yung partner because na late ako, and nag start na yung program. I wasn't disappointed din naman kase we both have partners naman. Though sad lang kase I thought nakalimutan niya yung sinabi niya. But then again, hindi ko na yun dinibdib kasi I'm not his priority naman. But shocks, after nung prom, I overheard him telling my classmate na friend niya na makikipag-picture daw siya with me. Tas sabi pa ng friends ko, he looked desperate daw. I can also affirm kase hearing his tone while saying those, parang gustong gusto niya talaga. So after nun umuwi kami, nagmessage kaming dalawa. He told me na he was sorry and he was really looking for me daw. Sayang din daw na hindi kami nagpartner sa grand entrance, that's why yung pic namin dalawa was like a "compensation" for not being able to take me sa entrance. MEDJO NASAKTAN AKO NUN kase, maybe that meant na responsibility niya lang ako and hindi niya talaga gusto from the heart na ako yung partner niya?? But hindi na ako nag overthink masyado. Okay nako sa ganon considering that happy crush (?) ko lang siya.
Fast forward again, sa graduation namin. I really told myself na magm-moveon nako sa kaniya kasi i was really confused kung happy crush ko lang ba talaga siya or CRUSH ko na talaga siya. Ayun, i was sad kasi we didn't interact that much nung graduation kasi busy. So I followed him on IG kasi nga, wala na e, graduate na and hindi na kamj magkikita. Inactive siya sa IG ha, but I was so surprised to see na finollow back niya ako. MINESSAGE PA! Tas yung mga statements niya, nakakaconfused. Share ko lang yung iba, sabi niya "I am so happy. I usually don't use Instagram, but the moment you followed me here, napaka timing." Hahahaha sino bang hindi mag-aassume, nag first move siya TAS HINDI SIYA GANITO BEFORE, tas why would he be SOOO HAPPY na i followed him? Tas imemessage pa? So yun, inabot ng 12 in the midnight yung usapan namin. NAGKA DEEP TALKS GUYS! Kung kailan pa talaga ako magmo-moveon, hays. Our interactions continued sa social media accs, tas we chatted pa nga kahapon. SIYA PA NAG F-FIRST MOVE. And napaka confusing lang kasi yung mga statements niya are like "I am sorry for being too talkative, I just enjoy talking to people I am comfortable with" OR NAG C-COMPLIMENT PA NGA SAKIN. AND chansing niya pa, he asked me if i have the pics w him sa prom coz his teacher asked him daw and wala daw siyang serious na pic. PERO HELLO???? Siya pa talaga walang formal pics, eh siya nga PROM KING tas andami niya pang awards, malamang madaming media nag photograph sakaniya that time. I saw him being taken a photo rin by his father and some of his friends. So why would he ask for pictures pa??? Yung reason niya pa is "wala siyang formal." I sent him our pics naman and told him na he can crop me out if needed na yug face niya lang makita. Pero sabi niya, there's no need daw and if-flex niya talaga na may picture kaming dalawa, like?????? BAKIT NAMAN NIYA IFFLEX HAYS. Tas he kept on saying na he had fun daw talking with me kasi we have much in common daw which before we didn't know pa. And SIYA PA NAGSABI na hindi daw siya active talaga sa social media platforms and only GCs are the ones that keep his message inbox alive. So ako lang daw ka talk niya in terms of private convos. hays, NAGKA DEEP TALKS WITH 6 YEARS HAPPY CRUSH SI ANTEH, MAY ASSURANCE PA????.
Sa ngayon, he interacts with me through notes. Yung mga notes ko, relevant sa reply niya sa notes niya. Ayaw ko talagang mag assume pero, does he like me back, too? Or friendly lang talaga siya? Because, hindi naman kami ganito, he doesn't talk to me before or nakikipag interact even though he's famous for having a friendly demeanor. Isa pa, my girl-friends always tell me na they have instincts na happy crush niya rin ako but he's just not interactive with the one he likes. You know what they say, girl instincts are usually right. Hahahahaha.
I DON'T KNOW, FRIENDLY LANG BA TALAGA, OR MAG POSSIBILITY? KUNG KAILAN PA TALAGA NAG GRADUATE. SHOULD I CONTINUE TO HOPE, OR MAGM-MOVEON NALANG SA FEELINGS AND WILL JUST SET A LABEL NA "FRIENDS" LANG TALAGA KAMI???? HELP

Hi, all,
I have a BS in philosophy and an MS in war and conflict studies and am looking to pursue a PhD.
The challenge I’m facing is that I have an intuitive idea of what I want to do but I have not yet been able to pin it down precisely enough to turn it into a proposal. I’m a bit scattered and need your help finding a way to synthesize my thoughts.
Here’s what I have some clarity on so far:

• The idea is to pursue a PhD in philosophy, I’ve found a program that is quite diverse and would welcome an interdisciplinary approach (which mine would have to be).
• It would be related to peacebuilding but not specifically what I did for my master’s project which focused on a particular conflict.
• I’m interested in exploring what conditions would define a modern matriarchal society (I’m yet to find a coherent answer) and how that could serve as a restorative response to the ways in which patriarchal structures have led to our current global crises.
• I recently read Turning Point by Fritjof Capra and have been immensely inspired by his perspective, as I share his views, and would also like to incorporate an aspect of that into my PhD. Namely, a systems theory approach to social change.

How would you go about bringing all of this together into a coherent whole? Or maybe it’s too wide and I need to narrow it down more and just focus on one thing? I’m neurodivergent and sometimes find it hard to pull in all of the pieces, but once I do I’m better able to organize it and clarify it in my mind.
I got my master's degree in 2009 and because I’ve been out of school for so long I also feel a bit out of the loop on what it is they’d want for a proposal exactly. The research I’ve done online on what is needed to submit a PhD proposal seems to be greatly varied. The school I have my eye on gives a general idea but nothing specific, and I don’t want to contact them until I have a more coherent idea of what I want to do.
Your constructive feedback, ideas, and kindness are greatly appreciated.

The phenomenon you're describing is related to a psychological concept known as desensitization. Desensitization refers to the diminished emotional responsiveness to a stimulus after repeated exposure to it. This process can affect how people perceive wealth, violence, and many other aspects of life. There are several factors and explanations behind this:

1. Habituation: When people are repeatedly exposed to a stimulus, they become accustomed to it, and it elicits less of a response over time. This is a basic form of learning where the brain learns to tune out non-threatening stimuli to focus on new and potentially more important information.
   
2. Normalization: Continuous exposure to certain behaviors or circumstances can make them seem normal, even if they are not. For instance, celebrities who are constantly surrounded by luxury might come to see it as a baseline standard rather than something extraordinary.
   
3. Psychological Adaptation: Humans have a tendency to adapt to new conditions and environments. This is known as the "hedonic treadmill," where people return to a relatively stable level of happiness despite major positive or negative events or life changes. Wealthy individuals may experience initial pleasure from new luxury items, but over time, they adapt, and these items no longer bring the same level of satisfaction.
   
4. Emotional Numbing: Repeated exposure to distressing content, such as violent or graphic images, can lead to emotional numbing, where the individual feels less emotional distress over time. This can be a defense mechanism to cope with continuous exposure to such stimuli.
   
5. Social Comparison: People often evaluate their own lives by comparing themselves to others. For non-rich people, seeing luxury items can evoke awe or aspiration. For the wealthy, their reference group often includes even wealthier individuals, which can lead to a constant desire for more, diminishing the satisfaction from their current possessions.
   
6. Behavioral Conditioning: In the case of watching graphic content, some individuals might start as a challenge or curiosity but then become conditioned to the shock value, reducing their sensitivity. This can be dangerous as it may lead to seeking more extreme content to achieve the same level of arousal or interest.
   
7. Cognitive Dissonance: People might engage in behaviors that reduce the emotional impact of their experiences. For example, celebrities might use substances to cope with the pressure and expectations of their public life, leading to a cycle where they become desensitized to the detrimental effects of these substances.
   

Understanding these psychological processes helps explain why continuous exposure can lead to desensitization and altered perceptions of various stimuli, from luxury and wealth to violence and other intense experiences.

u/SpacePaladin15 is responsible for the creation of the NOP universe. u/JulianSkies is responsible for the creation of a metric fuckton of fics within that universe.
this story is my ficnapping entry for... uhhhh... *checks notes* old scabbard, the allergy, gremlins, game review: escape series, river wolves and meteors. it's probably not strictly necessary to read them to enjoy this ficnap? but you should do it anyway, because they are Very Excellent™.
////////////////////////// Barkeep's Log: Reunion ////// Wednesday, July 9th, 2138 8:16 PM, Brasilia Time //////////////////////////
Ah, the middle of the week. For most bars, it is a time of quiet, of minimal activity. Some scant few people might show up; either regulars who come every day, or those who seek to unwind with a quick drink or just get out of the house for a bit, but they don't often stay long. They get one or two cups, share the bare minimum of a chat, and then get on their merry way.
...But of course, that's just the way humans do things.
The countless aliens who have taken up residence in Sao Paulo since the fall of the Federation simply don't seem to care for our silly calendar. They come in whenever they please, week or weekend, midday or midnight, rain or shine. Sometimes they want to get blackout drunk, other times they just want a quick taste of home. Or, there's always the frequent visitor who's just here to get their fill of social contact. Those ones are perhaps my favorite. After the horrors of the Federation War, and taking refuge on Skalga, I certainly won't ever tire of seeing aliens and humans—total strangers to one another—start chatting and getting along, coexisting in peace and harmony, without anyone batting an eye.
Today, though... was not the typical rush of aliens and one or two human regulars. When the bell above the door jingled and a figure stepped in from the cool outside air, consider my surprise to see not a small fluffy thing with no clothes, but a tall, lanky human man, with a face I hadn't seen in months.
"Lucas," I jovially said. "Welcome. It's good to see you again."
He smiled bashfully and raised an arm in a silent wave, seeing a dozen heads turn to look at him. One head in particular turned much farther than the rest; a gaunt human woman, accompanied by a relaxed venlil—Bella Rivers and Taya, both of whom are... perhaps my most frequent guests. "Oh damn! And here I was starting to think you died in a car accident, Luc," Bella said, clearly surprised to see another human at this hour, letalone one who'd been absent for so long.
"Haha, no..." Lucas said, making a beeline for the bar. "Just been... er, busy, you know how it is. How've things been here?"
Bella cast a brief glance at me, asking a silent question, to which I gave a simple nod. "It's been great," she answered in my stead. "Every day feels like more people know about this place. I keep telling Keeps to start thinking about remodeling, get some more space in here before it starts turning into a moshpit every weekend."
Lucas let out a chuckle. "I almost can't believe you two come here so often that you can say that."
Taya leaned around Bella just enough to look Lucas in the eye. "Well no duh! Where else are we gonna go? Name one pub in this city besides The Crossroad that's licensed to sell alien food and drink, and always cares about dietary restrictions!"
Bella laughed. "Okay girl, you ain't gotta shill that hard."
"Nuh uh. I'm not drunk enough not to shill," the normally-reserved venlil droned. She most certainly was a little drunk...
"Speaking of," I cut in, turning to Lucas. "The usual?"
His eyebrows shot up in surprise. "You still remember my drink?"
"Of course."
He looked thoughtful for a moment, before smiling. "Yeah. I'd love that."
I wasted no time in gathering my tools and the requisite bottles and ingredients to put together his complicated order. To say I pride myself on remembering my patrons, their quirks, and their likes and dislikes... would be an understatement. What is a barkeep if not the central pillar of the establishment? It simply wouldn't do for me to be anything less than reliable.
"For real though," Bella said. "It's not just the food that keeps us here. Like yeah, I love being able to trust my food, but there's more to it. Just look around," she waved a hand out at the rest of the room, "Isn't it great, seeing so many different people, from so many different walks of life, all come together in one place? Back during the war, I... we never imagined we'd get to see something like this. And yet here we are, back on Earth, with God knows how many aliens just hangin' around, being chill, doing their things."
"Huh... yeah, I guess I can see it-- ah, thanks Keeps," Lucas said as I passed him his completed drink. "If you forget everything that's happened, it kinda does look like how everyone dreamed things would go before first contact."
Bella smiled wistfully, idly swirling her half-full drink with her straw. "I think it's amazing. All these different cultures and faces mashing together at once, just this giant melting pot of people and worldviews and everything."
"...Yeah. It really is incredible."
Bella's brows furrowed as Lucas wasted no time in taking a large swig of his drink. It seemed as if something was on his mind, and perhaps she could tell. "Hey... where have you been, these past few months?"
"I've... well," he put down his glass, staring at it almost disdainfully. And after I'd made it so perfectly for him, to boot. Rude. "I've actually been trying to uh, cut back on the drinking..."
Bella turned, glancing confusedly at Taya, who flicked her tail in equal uncertainty. "Really? But you've always been such a responsible drinker. I don't think I can even remember a single time you've ever caused trouble, or got sick or anything. Did something happen?"
"No, nothing like that. I just wanted... well, here, look at this," he said and produced his holopad, skillfully swiping to his photo album. In seconds, he pulled up a picture of himself alongside an alien with gray fur... and long, floppy, dog-like ears. A farsul. "This is Talon. He's been staying with me since the xenomed center got going full swing."
Taya recoiled at the sight, ears flattening in apparent anger before Bella turned and shot her a firm glare. The venlil immediately shrunk on herself, looking both apologetic, and yet still agitated.
"I'm doing it for him. He... um, let's just say he gets a little nervous," Lucas mumbled. He swiped to another picture, this time with Talon hanging off his arm like a monkey, tongue lolling out of his wide-open muzzle in obvious glee. "He's such a sweet little guy, like the brother I never had. But it wasn't good for him, to be dealing with me coming home drunk. He needs stability, consistency. I... was making him worry whether I'll be the same every time I walk through the door. So I promised him I'd stop."
Bella put a hand on Lucas' shoulder. "Well that's sweet of you. I can tell you care a lot."
Lucas frowned. "Of course I care. After the shit he got put through in those... fucking goddamn facilities."
A bubble of silence surrounded the trio as his words sunk in. Bella swirled her drink one last time before she took a huge swig. Lucas watched her for a moment before he grabbed his own near-full glass and downed the whole of it in one fell swoop.
"Hhh. So much for that," he grumbled as he glared down at his freshly emptied cup. Then his expression softened slightly, turning closer to remorse. "...Sorry. I didn't mean to fuck up the vibe. I uh, got some other pics of him if--"
"No, Lucas, it's okay," Taya suddenly said. "There's nothing wrong with being honest. Especially not in a place like this," she pointed one eye toward me, "ain't that right, Keeps?"
All I could offer in response was a curt nod.
Bella reached over and laid a hand on his shoulder. "If something's on your mind, then... c'mon, be straight with us."
Lucas sighed. "I wish there were more I could do for him," he bluntly said. "We've tried so many things to help him stay calm. Breathing exercises, fidget toys, music... but it's never enough. He still just can't function in public, or around new people, or... anywhere. Especially if I'm not there. And I don't know what to do anymore. I keep telling him to take as long as he needs, but I..." Lucas slouched over, holding his head in his hands, "I feel like every time takes a little longer."
"Um... Y'know..." Taya spoke up, as her ears twisted nervously. "It... sounds like, maybe, um... he... needs a friend?"
"I am his friend," Lucas deadpanned.
"N-no, I mean... oorgh, how do I say this?"
"I think what she's trying to say is... if you want a little help, Lucas, we'd be happy to be there for you. For him."
Lucas's brows furrowed for a moment before he seemed to grasp what she was saying, and his eyes went wide. "Really? But-" his eyes locked onto Taya, "but you're--"
Taya shook her head. "Don't say it. I... I know. I know what I am," she all but whispered. "But maybe I don't want to be like... this. Maybe I want to be better. After all, if I'd never tried to have an open mind about humans, I never would've met Bella!"
"Well... okay," Lucas said, as a small smile grew on his face. "Here. Lemme get your numbers, and I'll talk to him, and we'll get in touch?"
Bella nodded and presented her pad, as Taya did the same. "Yep! And hey, if he isn't up to meeting in person, maybe you can see if he wants to try just being... like, pen pals or something?"
"Hah. He's not a child, you know. But thanks. I really mean it."
"I know you mean it. We're glad to help."
The three of them tapped pads to exchange contacts, and with that, their fates became intertwined. Whatever may happen to them after today, I cannot know. A humble barkeeper such myself shan't be blessed with the absolutes of the future. Some may try to predict what is to come, but I believe the future is theirs to decide, that they may take whatever happens in their own hands and mold it to their will.
It is all I can hope that Bella and Taya will return and share with me the stories of their antics. Or, as unlikely as it seems, perhaps Lucas could bring Talon here, for them both to participate in this gathering of souls; for them to find joy among friends new and old; for the chance to walk the wondrous crossroads of life and love.
​
////////////////////////// Barkeep's Log: Scampering Menaces ////// Monday, July 14th, 2138 1:39 PM, Brasilia Time //////////////////////////
Monday. The day of loathing. Of rest and relaxation coming to an end. Of waking up early, getting ready for work, and repeating yet another week of monotony. Some would question my sanity, to open the bar at all on a Monday, letalone to do so at noon. But those foolish few simply haven't seen how excited aliens can be about something so mundane as lunch.
But alas, the lunch rush never persists forever, and just like always, I eventually found my beloved pub woefully empty. As it would likely stay for the rest of the afternoon, save for the occasional visitor with a more unusual schedule.
...Or, perhaps, should I be so lucky... a much more rare sight; a true oddity, who might seek to come here only during the dead hours.
And wouldn't you know, it was on this day that I was blessed with one such patron. Or... multiple patrons. A human and a trio... no, quartet of dossur. It was very much a challenge for me to keep track of the little sapient rodents as they skittered about, both on and literally around their human, but I was more than certain that there were definitely only four of them.
At first, I thought there were three dossur. But then one of them retreated into their human's apparently rather spacious hoodie, and a very distinctly different dossur came out. She looked... mangy, for lack of a polite term, with numerous patches of discolored and uneven fur, and what appeared to be a few healed scars. It was clear to me that she must have been through something horrible, and yet had been saved by the miracle of modern medicine.
The small group's incursion upon my shop was... relatively peaceful. They certainly had no qualms about using their outdoor voices, speaking loudly and freely about whatever came to mind, from plans for when they got home, to theorycrafting about potential vacations they could take, and even to the status of the Sapient Coalition as a whole. I, of course, had no right to begrudge them for being so noisy—they were the only ones in the bar, after all.
But everything changed when the front door swung open, the gentle dingle of the bell heralding the arrival of yet another rare antisocial patron.
To my surprise, this newcomer was another human. But not just any human, oh no, this was a very particular human. One who I could say might be somewhat of a regular, despite his tendency to avoid the busier hours. It was no trouble for me to recognize him from the slightest glance, as his unforgettable silver hair, and the red highlights within, matched gorgeously with his red scarf.
As he entered, a somewhat shorter than average venlil trailed close behind. He too wore a red scarf, though for a... different reason. A deeply personal reason, that neither he nor his human have ever seemed keen to share. And I, out of respect for them both, shan't pry.
With a brief, wary glance at the table of chaos, the two of them made their way toward the bar. They hardly made it more than a few steps before a painfully loud shriek, followed by three more of the same, damn near shattered every piece of glass in my bar.
"HUMY!!!!!" "OH MY GOD HI!!" "JOHN! LOOK!!" "Don't yell in my ear--" "Wait is it really-- IT IS! GUYS GET OUT HERE--"
And in a staggering instant... where I thought there were only four dossur, I was once again proven thoroughly WRONG. From within John's hoodie came not one, not two, but four more of the little bastards! There were eight of them! They all scampered up their poor handler's arms and stood on his head and shoulders, waving their whole bodies and jumping up and down, and being so very loud.
"HI HUMY!!!!!!!!" "HI!!!" "HIIIIII!!!!!!" "He's so tall..." "Is that VV?? HI VV!!" "WOW I didn't know his hair was really that white!"
Humy, while certainly shocked by the sudden attention, somehow managed to take it in stride. He raised a hand and waved back to the crowd of not-squirrels, the action shutting them up for only a moment before they started squealing even LOUDER in sheer excitement.
"Guys... Y'all oughta quiet down a bit," John said... or so I think. I frankly couldn't hear him over the orchestra of rodent insanity.
One particularly bold dossur—the one with the damaged fur—made her way down from the chaos table and practically sprinted to Humy's legs, before climbing him like a tree. He recoiled in surprise, but she kept going until she was leaning off the top of his head, staring straight into his eyes. The others went silent, waiting with bated breath for whatever might happen next.
...
"Hi."
The poor man, frazzled, startled, accosted-by-an-alien-squirrel, took a long moment before he figured out what to do about this situation. "Um. Hi."
Unfortunately, that was the wrong response.
"HE SAID HI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" "I WANNA SAY HI TO HUMY!!" "THAT'S NOT FAIR, HOW COME SHE GETS--" "JOHN!!!" "Guys, pl--" "--TO SAY HI TO HIM?!?!!?!" "JOHN BRING US TO HIM OR DIE"
John abruptly slapped the table and stood up, nearly flinging half of his passengers in different directions as they panicked and clung to him for dear life. "I'm so sorry," he quickly said, "They're not usually like this. We'll just be going," he turned to me, making eye contact for an instant, "Cya later, Keeps."
"No, wait!" Humy said, just barely before the swarm could scream their collective dissent. "Please don't. I don't mind, I promise. All I ask is you quieten down a notch, is that okay?"
The dossur looked amongst each other; some of them drooped in shame, while others seemed to simply not grasp the relevance of the request. But in the end, it was John who spoke up first. "He's right, guys. Y'all need to tone it down. No more screaming."
"Okay?" "Sorry..." "Makes sense." "SURE!!--"
John immediately snatched up that particular troublemaker before stuffing him in his hoodie, never to be seen again.
"Ah... anyway..." Humy said, and gestured to the counter, where VV had already taken a seat during the commotion. John took the unspoken invitation, and the middle-aged man reunited with his friend as the dossur wrangler sat on his other side.
The swarm, of course, wasted no time in dismounting John and lining up right in front of poor Humy. Or, well, only two of them lined up. One crawled up onto his sleeve, two onto his shoulders, and the last simply kept climbing around, seemingly not intent on stopping ever. The seventh and eighth remained imprisoned in John's pocket and sprawled out atop Humy's head, respectively.
"Is Humy your real name?" "Why's your hair white?" "Your scarves are so cool!" "What's your favorite fruit?"
Humy burst out in a fit of chuckles, evidently amused by the dossur speaking over each other in their haste to treat him like a talking jungle gym. "Wow. John, right?" he turned to the other human, who gave a curt nod. "How do you live with this?"
"Very patiently," John deadpanned. "No one would ever believe me if I told them these little shits are highly trained Marines."
"Have you ever been on a cruise?" "What's your favorite game?" "If I gave you a strawberry, would you eat it?" "Are you two dating?" "Seriously, why's your hair white!?"
"Okay, okay, c'mon, one at a time! Why don't all of you line up right here in front of me, and I'll go down the line?"
"No." "...Nah." "It's comfy up here." "And it's boring down there!" "And your hair smells good..."
Humy sighed and shook his head, but his smile betrayed his mirth at the situation. "Fine... let's see... you, at the very top. What's your question?"
"Huh? Oh, uhhh-" the mangled one trailed off. She'd been rather quiet the whole time. "Hmm... what's your next video gonna be, and when's it gonna be out?"
"Ooh!" "Yeah!" "Yes yes yes tell us!" "Genius question, Fée!"
Humy, despite the dossurs' excitement, grimaced. "I'm sorry, you guys, but I can't answer that. I just can't leak upcoming content!"
"Auugh!" "Noo c'mon!" "What." "That's not fair!"
"But..." Humy cut them off, looking thoughtful. "Well... maybe I can tell you one thing. I might have something very, very special lined up soon. Do you all remember when I played that thafki game, Survivor? Well I--"
Humy jumped, startled as VV—who'd been totally quiet and unobtrusive the whole time—abruptly grabbed his sleeve and tugged it sharply. A sheepish expression spread across the human's face. "Oops! Can't spoil the surprise. Sorry! How 'bout we hear another question?"
The dossur pouted, looking dejected, disappointed and all-around displeased. But, with that, the seven tiny herbivores quickly moved on, and continued to pester Humy with evermore nonsense. Too much nonsense. Truly, veritably, too much.
It wasn't until hours later, around 4 PM, that both parties finally grew fatigued and split ways. In the wake of their madness, I could feel nothing but gratitude for the fact that, despite their behavior, the rodents hadn't made a mess of anything, nor skipped out on their tab. While they were loud, and excitable, and far too much enjoyed using poor Humy as a playground... they weren't hooligans. They were, in the end, people. Not just noisy squirrels.
With that in mind... perhaps, maybe, just maybe, next time they come in... I wouldn't be unwilling to greet them, to welcome them to this place of character and merriment; to welcome their uniqueness among the myriad faces that make themselves known; to invite them in as members, as friends, as we all tread upon the ever-exciting crossroads of greetings and farewells.
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////////////////////////// Barkeep's Log: Mayflies ////// Friday, August 1st, 2138 9:05 PM, Brasilia Time //////////////////////////
Ah, the weekend. For a bar, it is the busiest time one could imagine. But for a bartender such as myself, it is so much more. The activity, the bustle, the countless different people coming together and simply being themselves. Just by merely being here, serving drinks and dinner to all who would want it, I am blessed with the wondrous opportunity to overhear talk and tales of peoples' lives—their homes, their hopes and dreams, their fears and regrets.
And today, of course, was no exception. Perchance, allow me to skip the lengthy preamble and get to the good stuff.
The moment an elderly, borderline decrepit old man entered the bar, he had my attention. Someone his age, coming somewhere like this, alone? The scenario piqued my curiosity.
He had a tired air to him, something between boredom, the general fatigue that comes with such advanced age and... if my keen eyes didn't deceive me, a touch of discomfort. As if he was out of his element in some way, not quite sure what to do with himself. He kept silent, bothering no one as he approached the counter and scanned one of the many QR codes plastered around the dining room.
His face stayed the same as he reviewed The Crossroads' prodigious menu, as though he was unimpressed with our unrivaled selection. But then, he paused, and something changed in his stance. His eyes flicked up and met mine, his expression suddenly lit ablaze, full of energy that wasn't there before. "Redtato tacos?" he curtly asked, sounding almost bewildered. His gaze dropped back down to the menu, to the other dishes on that same page. "Spice plates... cricket burgers," he looks back up at me, wearing a deranged grin, "even goddamn ichor ice cream? You're insane."
"Insane? Tell me you're new here without telling me," a new voice interjected. One of the other patrons—a thafki, who unlike her kin, had taken to wearing a black hoodie with the emblem of the United Nations—turned to us, appearing amused as she looked between me and the old man. "Wow, you're a perfect match for one another. Didn't think humans could get any older than ol' Barkeep here. What's someone as ancient as you doing here, new guy?"
"Hah. I like you, Blue," the man said as he took a seat beside the nosy and maybe slightly drunk alien.
"My name's not Blue. Call me Ayeli."
He held out a hand toward Ayeli. She glanced at it before shaking it without a second thought. "Ryusei," he said, before eyeing her beverage. "Tell you what, Barkeep, gimme one of whatever that is. And a refill for her, if she'll have it."
"Saltwine," I said, and reached beneath the counter to procure the bottle from which I'd poured Ayeli's first glass. I turned it back and forth in front of him, letting him read the translated label. "Be warned. This is a specialty item. It is not to most peoples' tastes, nor is it cheap."
"Pfft just do it. I've eaten rocks, you old coot."
The sheer brazenness of his words, the unwavering resolve in his eyes, and the utter lack of hesitation in his voice, took me truly off guard for the first time in a long, long while. "I'm not an old coot, you bumbling codger," I grumbled as I took a glass and filled it. Then, putting my professional facade back on just like nothing ever happened, I turned to Ayeli and hovered the bottle over her cup. She gave a thumbs up, and I poured.
Ryusei stared at me with a smug grin. "Pff. Looked in a mirror lately? Time ain't been good to you, friend. Look at all them gray hairs. Yeek."
"I can poison you in seventeen different ways," I deadpanned.
"As if I'd even be able to tell? There's nothing you can do to me that my body hasn't done at least twice already."
"Venlise alcohol. Not diluted."
"Now there'd be a challenge..." he murmured, before his attention drifted to his idle drink. He raised the glass to his lips and took a hearty sip, allowing the fluid—its texture, its flavor—to rest in his mouth before swallowing. "Mmh. Damn."
"You like it?" Ayeli asked.
"Y'know what? Yeah. Shit's weird in all the right ways. Hits your tongue like a pile of salt, but goes down smooth. No aftertaste, no burn, just a quick slap in the face and then it's gone."
Ayeli drummed her fingers on the counter before taking a long swig of her own drink. "Mmmhmm. That's how it is. How it's meant to be. I can't wait 'til someone figures out how to make this stuff for cheap."
"Speaking of. Ey Barkeep, put me down for one of them fucked up tacos. Let's see just how close a buncha earthlings can get to authentic Martian cuisine."
With a nod and several practiced movements, I had his request sent to the kitchen in seconds. I don't believe he saw me even touch the order pad with how fast I was.
"...Martian?" Ayeli asked. "Now hang on. That's... the red planet, no?"
"Mhm," The man let out a grunt of affirmation. "First planet humanity settled besides Earth. It's a dead, empty husk. Nothing but rocks and dust and solar radiation. I was born there."
"Huh. What're you doing here, then? There no bars on Mars?"
"...Classified."
"Oh. Yeah..."
Quiet spread between the two, Ayeli staring blankly into her own reflection within her glass. Ryusei's eyes slowly drifted toward her as his brow furrowed. "You... were a soldier, huh?"
Ayeli jolted, startled by the question. "Wh--? How... I mean, yeah. I guess I was. But how can you tell?"
"Eh. I've been there. Where you are now."
"...What?"
He took another sip. "You know how it is. Everything goes to shit. Then it gets better. Now everyone's pretending life is back to normal, and you have to pretend too. Even if you lost friends. Or family. Or... parts of yourself."
...
Ayeli frowned. "I... yeah. I guess."
"You guess?"
"It's... it's not that I've lost people. Or parts of myself," she said. "It's not even that I have to pretend that everything's back to normal."
Ryusei raised an eyebrow.
"All things considered, I've lost nothing. I joined the UN Marines, killed some lizards, and now I'm here. And I'm fine. Not even 'oh you're lying to yourself, you need a therapist' fine, but just... actually fine."
"Why's that, do you think?"
"I don't know. All my friends are so much worse off than me. They're all... fucked up, from everything. But I'm not. I just don't feel anything."
"I just... shouldn't I feel something?" she continued. "I've killed people. Drowned people. Slit throats. But whenever I think about it, there's just nothing. No guilt, no shame, no... no empathy."
"I understand," Ryusei breathed. Something behind his eyes changed, his tone becoming more... genuine. "You and I are alike, in a way."
"...Really?"
Ryusei swirled his drink before taking a quick sip. "When I was younger, I was part of something bigger than myself. It was dangerous as all hell—sixty percent fatality rate—but I was glad to be doing it. Glad to be playing my part. Happy to risk my life so someone else doesn't have to. But then it was over, and I got back to life like normal. I got my accolades, I took my damn awards, and I went home. And that was that."
"Except it wasn't," he continued. "I went home, and found out my family had ripped themselves apart. Half of em were obviously over the moons with pride, knowing I'd been there in the very front and came home a goddamn hero. But the rest... they had been scared. Terrified they'd never see me again. It was all they wanted for me to just come home and be safe."
"And... that's what got you?" Ayeli asked. Something in her voice was vulnerable, almost afraid. "The fact that you were ready to move on, but no one else was?"
Ryusei nodded. "I felt like a shithead not because I'd almost died a hundred times, but because I'd been the reason my parents got divorced."
Ayeli stared into nothing, dead silent for a long moment before she grabbed her drink and downed the remainder of it in one go. "F-fuck," she rasped. "It was supposed to go back to normal. We were supposed to have our happy ending. So why is everyone still like this? Why can't we just be okay now?"
"Because people need time, kid. You and I are the exceptions. You'll get your happy ending, you just... gotta wait. Gotta be there for them when they need you."
"How?"
"Whatever way you can. My little brother got hit the hardest by our parents' shitshow. He couldn't stand being around either of them. So I would drive him out to the middle of nowhere, and we'd just watch the universe go by. We'd count the stars, talk about how small we are, how it just keeps going, how empty it all is, yet still teeming with mystery. By the end of it, we'd both be feeling better... and then we'd do it again a week later when we felt like shit again. And on and on, for years."
"...We've already seen the stars though. How would that help?"
Ryusei slid his glass over to Ayeli, offering her the last few sips he had. "There are more things of beauty in this world than just the stars. Take it from me, old fart that I am—if you just take the time to look, you can find meaning anywhere. Even things you might take for granted."
Ayeli perked up, as if she'd realized something. "The ocean..."
"Something like that."
"It's... it's simple, it's mundane, it's so normal to us now that we can just go swimming whenever we like. But ten years ago, that would've been different. We... we did it. We changed it. For ourselves. We won."
"You hit the nail on the head, Blue. Tell all that to your pals. Really show them that it's over."
She looked down at the drink she'd been given, and lifted it to her lips to take a small sip. "An ocean of water, an ocean of stars... what difference does it make? Maybe you're right. Maybe we really are alike."
"Both have been around for millenia. And both will be there still, long after we're gone," Ryusei said. He looked down at his hands, an odd half-smile on his face. "Call me a sentimental old coot, but part of me still finds comfort in the stars. An infinite sea of beacons, shining in every direction for eternity. Always there, always waiting, no matter what."
"Mmm... y'know, it's funny. Our ancient ancestors probably each thought the same at one point or another. Wonder if any of 'em ever looked up in just the right place, at the right time... and looked straight at each other, even if they didn't know it."
"Heh. As much as I want to rain on your parade and say that's impossible... well, just look at the two of us, eh? The chance that we both would happen to be here, right now. Maybe it's not. The universe is pretty damn huge, and yet here we are."
Ayeli sat up straight in her seat, a determined look spreading across her face. "Yeah. I... I think I know what to do. How to help everyone else move on. Thanks for the drinks, 'Keep. And the chat, Ryusei."
"Yeah yeah. Go on, get outta here. Get back to your friends."
The thafki nodded and gave us both a smile, and then with one last wave goodbye, she made her way out of the establishment. Ryusei sighed and turned back to the bar, crossing his arms and slouching in that tired, past-our-prime way we both must know so well.
Before long, his plate of redtato tacos were brought out, and without another word, he got to work. He remained silent as he ate, but I could tell by the look on his face that he was satisfied.
"Alright... yeah, yeah you did good..." he said when there was nothing left to eat. "I'll remember this place. Think if I ever end up 'round here again, I might stop by."
"You'll always be welcome... until you call me old again. Then you might find something different in your cup than you ordered."
He laughed, grinning like a madman as he stood from his seat. "Bold of you to threaten me with a good time. Now I'm definitely coming back!"
With that, he paid for his meal and his and Ayeli's drinks, and just as suddenly as it all began, he was gone. The cycle of greetings and goodbyes played its part yet again, bringing us together and pulling us apart as if no time had passed at all.
But where his and Ayeli's presence left my bar, their imprints have not. In my memory, and theirs, lies the everlasting essence of our encounter. The feelings of meeting, of learning, of sharing ourselves—and above all else, the words they spoke. The sentiment has truly been burned into my recollection, never to be forgotten with how it touched my heart, my very soul.
How wondrous it is that two people so similar and yet so different could ever meet. The universe is vast—immeasurably so—and still they both happened to be in the right place at the right time for their lives to become intertwined. Is it coincidence? Is it fate? I can't possibly know. Such things are beyond my station. All I can say for certain is that it will happen again, and again, on an eternal cycle. So long as life itself persists, people will always be bound to find one another.
And that, I believe... is the true beauty of our crossroads of destiny.
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