This is the Working Glitches Section! This is always being improved, and if you have any recommendations please let me know in the comments or send me a direct message. If you know a glitch is working on any other platform I haven't included or doesn't work anymore, also let us know. If a platform is in italics, it means it is unsure. If a platform is just "Xbox" or "PlayStation", that means that it works with both old gen and new gen versions of the game.
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Money and RP Glitches:

BEFF - Xbox, Playstation - Solo	No Save AHK - PC - Solo	Arena RP Glitch - Xbox, Playstation, PC - Solo
Cayo Double Secondary Loot - Xbox, Playstation, PC - Solo	5k RP Every 30 Secs - Xbox, Playstation, PC - Non-Solo	Dr Dre Linux Replay Glitch - PC - Solo
Facility Car Dupe - Xbox, Playstation, PC - Non-Solo	Exclusive Solo Frozen Money PS5 New Gen- PS5 - Solo	Easy Money and RP - Xbox, Playstation - Semi-Solo
Improved SFM - Xbox, Playstation - Non Solo	2 Player Car Dupe - Xbox, Playstation - Non-Solo	25 Second Frozen Money - Xbox, Playstation - Solo
Skip Cluckin Bell Setups - Xbox, Playstation - Solo
​

Player Based Glitches:

Checkerboard Outfit in Lobby - Xbox, Playstation, PC - Solo	Unlock Love Fist Shortsleeve - Xbox Series, PS5 - Solo	Wear Any Blacklisted Outfit - Xbox, Playstation - Solo
Cashmere Coat with Vest - Xbox, Playstation, PC - Solo	Never Fall Off Bike - Xbox, Playstation, PC - Non-Solo	Orange/Purple Joggers and Bulletproof - Xbox Series, Playstation - Semi-Solo
Play as Big Rabbit - Xbox, Playstation - Non-Solo	Transfer Coloured Chutes Duffle Bags - Xbox, Playstation - Solo	Apartment God Mode - Xbox, Playstation - Solo
Candy Cane Weapon - Xbox, Playstation - Non-Solo	Jet Black Duffle - Xbox, Playstation - Solo	Bigfoot Beard - Xbox, Playstation - Solo
Halloween Biker Jacket - Xbox Series, PS5 - Solo	Black Joggers - PS4 - Solo	No Ankles - Xbox, Playstation, PC - Solo
Female Joggers - Playstation - Solo	KD Farm - Xbox, Playstation - Non-Solo	Outfit Transfer - Xbox Series, PS5 - Non-Solo
Remove Bodysuit Logo - Xbox, Playstation, PC - Solo	IAA Badge - Xbox, Playstation, PC - Solo	Transfer Duffle - Xbox, Playstation, PC - Solo
Invisible Arms on Cop Outfit - Xbox, Playstation, PC - Solo	Any Shoes with Gorka Pants - Xbox, Playstation, PC - Solo	Cop Outfit - PS4 - Semi-Solo
Transfer Glitch - Xbox Series, PS5 - Semi-Solo	Perma Stun Lock - Xbox, Playstation, PC - Semi-Solo	Modded Outfits (No Checkerboard) - Xbox, Playstation, PC - Solo
Kill God Mode Players - Xbox, Playstation, PC - Solo	Invisible Stomach - Xbox, Playstation - Solo	Thermals in Aircraft - Xbox, Playstation, PC - Solo
Play as Franklin - Xbox, Playstation, PC - Non-Solo	Ballistic Health Boost and Minigun - Xbox, Playstation, PC - Solo	FIB Necklace - Xbox, Playstation - Solo
Gorka Joggers with IAA Belt and Invisible Torso - Xbox, Playstation, PC - Solo	Duffle Bags - Xbox, Playstation, PC - Solo	Machine Revolver - Xbox, Playstation, PC - Solo
Frontier Outfit in 1 Day - Xbox, Playstation, PC - Solo	Save CEO Outfits - Xbox, Playstation, PC - Solo	Female No Bra - Xbox One - Solo
White Duffle - Xbox, Playstation - Solo	Grey Snapback Half Hat - Xbox, Playstation, PC - Solo	Merge Special Outfits - Xbox, Playstation, PC - Solo
Juggernaut Suit - Xbox, Playstation, PC - Solo	Racing Suit Shoulder Pads - Xbox, Playstation, PC - Solo	Gruppe, Prison and Paramedic Belts - Xbox, Playstation, PC - Solo
Overcoat and Suit Vest - Xbox, Playstation, PC - Solo	No Kick Glitch - Xbox, Playstation, PC - Solo	Chemical Mask on All Outfits - Xbox, Playstation, PC - Solo
Alien Outfit Without Mask - Xbox, Playstation, PC - Solo	Topless Female - Xbox One, Playstation 4 - Solo	NOOSE Outfit - Xbox, Playstation - Solo
Invisible Arms - Xbox, Playstation, PC - Solo	CEO/MC Joggers & Outfits - Xbox, Playstation - Solo	Semi No Ragdoll - Xbox, Playstation, PC - Solo
Account Dupe Workaround - Xbox - Solo	OTR Invisible Character - Xbox, Playstation - Solo	Vehicle Warehouse OTR - Playstation, Xbox - Solo
Agency God Mode - PS5 - Solo	Save Cluckin Bell Outfit - Xbox, Playstation - Solo	Headless Glitch - Xbox, Playstation - Solo
Solo Coke Business OTR - Xbox, Playstation - Solo	Invisible While On the MK2 - Xbox, Playstation - Semi-Solo	Unlock High Flyer Parachute - Xbox, Playstation - Non-Solo
Autoshop God Mode - Xbox, Playstation - Solo	MOC OTR - Xbox, Playstation - Non-Solo	Give AA Trailer to Friends - Xbox, Playstation - Non-Solo
Halloween Weather in Freemode - Xbox, Playstation - Solo

Miscellaneous:

Infinite Toreador Boost - Xbox, Playstation, PC - Solo	BEFF Double Garage - Xbox, Playstation - Solo	Public Solo Session - Xbox, Playstation, PC - Solo
Complete Tier 3 Survival Headshot Challenge - PS - Solo	Modded Acid Lab - Xbox, Playstation, PC - Non-Solo	Drive Unreleased Cars - Playstation - Solo
DMO Lite - Playstation - Solo	MOC Solo Merge - Xbox, Playstation, PC - Solo	Weapons in Facility - Xbox, Playstation - Solo
TP Mugshoot Room - Playstation - Solo	Infinitely Spawn Vehicles - Xbox, Playstation - Solo	Sell 27 Cars/Day - Xbox One, PS4 - Solo
Arena War AFK - Xbox, Playstation, PC - Solo	Vehicle Magic Slot - Xbox, Playstation - Non-Solo	Magic Slot Flip - Xbox Series, PS5 - Non-Solo
Brickade Fooliganz Livery Flip - Xbox, Playstation - Semi-Solo	Bypass Daily Sell Limit - Xbox, Playstation - Solo	Brickade Merge - Playstation - Solo
GATF - Xbox, Playstation - Non- Solo	BF Wevil Speed Glitch - Xbox, Playstation - Solo	Shooting Range Glitch - Xbox, Playstation - Solo
Thermal in Story Mode - Xbox, Playstation, PC - Solo	2 Sparrows at Same Time - Xbox, Playstation - Solo	Quickly Fill Nightclub - Xbox, Playstation - Solo
Infinite Company SUV's - Xbox, Playstation, PC - Solo	Endless Simeon Test Drive - Xbox, Playstation, PC - Solo	Double Damage - Xbox, Playstation, PC - Solo
Teleport in LSCM - Playstation - Solo	Get Inside Luxury Autos - Xbox, Playstation, PC - Solo
Cayo Prep Job TP - Xbox, Playstation - Solo	Skywalker - Playstation - Solo	Cop Car Glitch - Xbox, Playstation, PC - Non-Solo
Colored Stock Wheels - Xbox, Playstation - Non-Solo	Never Fall Off Bike - Xbox, Playstation, PC - Non-Solo	Director Mode Trailer Online - Playstation - Solo
Launch Glitch - Xbox, Playstation, PC - Non-Solo	Car on Cerberus Slot - Xbox, Playstation - Non-Solo	Casino No Timer - Xbox Series, PS5, PC - Non-Solo
No Wanted Level - Xbox, Playstation, PC - Solo	Launch Glitch - Xbox, Playstation, PC - Solo	Drive Invisible Vehicle - Xbox, Playstation, PC - Non-Solo
Sultan Classic Speed Glitch - Xbox Series, PS5 - Non-Solo	Yellow Car Freak Out - Xbox, Playstation, PC - Non-Solo	BMX Launch - Xbox, Playstation, PC - Solo
Special/Person Vehicle in Sumo - Xbox, Playstation - Semi-Solo	Unlock Trevor at Beginning of Game -PS4 - Solo	Wheel Merge/Transfer - PC - Non-Solo
Chameleon Pearlescent Glitch - Xbox Series, PS5 - Solo	No Cops - Xbox, Playstation - Solo	Magic Slot Merge - Xbox, Playstation - Solo
Bushole Launch - Xbox, Playstation, PC - Solo	Extra Consumables - Xbox, Playstation - Solo	Out of Bounds - Xbox, Playstation, PC - Semi-Solo
Under the Map Anywhere - Xbox, Playstation - Solo	Invisible Aircraft - Xbox, Playstation - Solo	Walk in the Sky - Xbox, Playstation - Semi-Solo
Merge/Teleport Jobs - Xbox	2 Boys, 1 Hole - Xbox, Playstation, PC - Solo	RC Bandito C4 Throw - Playstation - Solo
Autoclub Podium Vehicle - Xbox, Playstation, PC - Solo	Launch Glitch - Xbox, Playstation, PC - Semi-Solo	Low Grip Tires on Any Car - PC - Solo
High Speed Jet Donuts - Xbox, Playstation, PC - Solo	OOB Glitch - Xbox, Playstation, PC - Solo	Toreador God Mode - Xbox, Playstation, PC - Solo
Wall Breach - Xbox, Playstation, PC - Solo	Teleport with Akula - Xbox, Playstation, PC - Solo	Hydra with MOC Health - Xbox, Playstation, PC - Solo
Freeze Time - Xbox, Playstation - Solo	Transparent Jet - Xbox, Playstation, PC - Solo	Trevors Car - Xbox, Playstation - Solo
Matte Pearlescent Respray - Xbox, Playstation, PC - Solo	Hide Cargo - Xbox, Playstation, PC - Solo	Hydra Speed Glitch - Xbox, Playstation, PC - Solo
Weapons Inside Arena - Xbox, Playstation - Non-Solo	Teleport Inside of UFO - Playstation - Solo	GATF Workaround - Playstation - Non-Solo
Change the Inductor Bike Color - Xbox, Playstation, PC - Solo	Terrorbyte Merge - Xbox, Playstation - Solo	Old Casino/Story Map Online - Playstation, Xbox - Semi-Solo
Unlock Special Hidden Weapons - PS4, Xbox One	NPC Bone Jiggling - Playstation, Xbox - Solo	Add Extra Accessories to Vehicles - Playstation, Xbox - Solo
Park Ranger Outfit Glitch - Playstation, Xbox - Solo	AFK Exploit - Xbox, Playstation - Solo	Save Park Ranger Vehicle - Xbox, Playstation - Non-Solo
Motorcycle to Car Merge - Xbox, Playstation - Non-Solo	Last Gen Car to Car Merge - PS4, Xbox One - Non-Solo	Current Gen Car to Car Merge - PS5, Xbox Series - Non-Solo
Moc to MOC GCTF Glitch Out - Playstation, Xbox - Non-Solo	Apartment Vehicle God Mode - Xbox, Playstation - Semi-Solo
Cluckin Bell Weapons Setup Glitch - Xbox, Playstation - Solo	Facility GCTF w/ All OTR Methods Included - Xbox, Playstation - Non-Solo	Fly Under the Map with a Jet - Xbox, Playstation - Solo
Facility Invisibility + No Cops + OTR and God Mode - Playstation, Xbox - Solo

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Some Helpful Tips About This Subreddit:
• Please read the rules before you post.
• Please stay civilised, and do not be rude towards others.
• Please do not comment stupid things such as “I didn’t use this glitch”. Seriously, what’s the point?
• Please do NOT post gamer tags anywhere on this subreddit. If you need to tell someone, just PM the person.
• If you see anyone breaking rules, make sure to report the post so we can get on it ASAP!
• If you’re desperate to ask a question, just ask on the weekly questions thread.
• We also have a chat which is quite helpful, and you can ask questions there and get a response.
• There is a very helpful scammer list for B2B Bogdan by , make sure to check it out here before hosting one for someone.
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Have a Question about a Glitch?:
Ask the poster of the glitch inside the post, rather than this main page. People there created it, found it, or at the very least have been using it recently, and are far more likely to give you the correct answer.
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Have a Glitch That Isn't Linked Here?:
Make/Link a post and send me a PM and I will put the post here. (We appreciate your contribution!)
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Need any help? Message the mod team.

Frequently Asked Questions

If you ask about something which can be clearly answered via the information in the FAQ's, your comment will be removed.
Where are the newest glitches?

• Sorting the sub by new is the easiest way to find the most current glitches
• Our Discord server has a section with quite a few working glitches

Are Heist Replay Glitches patched?

• No, and they probably won't be any time soon; if ever.
• Heist replay glitch is still working in the enhanced version.
• Please note that timings might be more difficult than in the past.

How do I do X Heist Replay?

• Cayo Perico
• Casino
• Bogdan

Tips on how to avoid heist reset on consoles.

• Take a break after 2 consecutive attempts
• Try clearing your cache after 2 consecutive attempts
• Try disconnecting after the white transaction loading circle and before the orange loading circle
• Try disconnecting after the "Transaction Pending" disappears at the bottom of the screen

Can you get banned from doing X Glitch?

• Outside of the few admonished outliers such as the strain of Apartment Glitches, you WON'T GET BANNED for doing any glitches. This includes things such as Heist Replays, AFK's, Merges, Dupes (creating/owning/selling Dupes) and etcetera.

Any good RP glitches around?

• This is a new type of job, TeamLilac AFK, and should be similar to Peter Griffin AFK. Please feel free to leave feedback on this job since its new

Best money glitch out right now?

• Heist Replays (Bogdan/Cayo Perico), GCTF Dupes, and/or Semi-Frozen Money (solo) will always remain as time proven choices. Alongside whatever Dupe Glitch is currently available/working.

Anything pertaining to Dupes?

• Destro's Duping Encyclopedia will most likely have your answers. Start with the Introduction segment which covers the jist of the relevant topics, otherwise flip through to the topic dedicated chapter
• DSL Guide contains the updated DSL limits and thresholds and will continue to be regularly and consistently updated, please refer to this if you need help regarding the your sale limit and issues pertaining to it.

Merge Glitches?

• LSCM Car to Car for Last Gen
• LSCM Car to Car for Current Gen

External Resources:

• Our Discord Server - Highly recommended and it's the best place to help keep you updated with all the working glitches being discovered.

Se7enSins:

• Glitched Clothing Megathread
• GTA Blacklisted Vehicles

Looking for a partner in crime?

1. Need People for Duping/Trading - Refer to
2. Need People for Heist Replays/JAFK/Misc Jobs - Refer to

Happy glitching! 😉

In celebration of the release of minusT's Eternal Night part 2, have Sakuya as an NPC for D&D 5e.
Sakuya Izayoi. Medium Humanoid (Human), Lawful Neutral. CR: 16 (15,000 EXP) AC: 13 (18 with Mage Armor) HP: 120 (20d6+40) SP: 30 ft, fly 50 ft. Initiative: +13 (Temporal Awareness, Gift of Alacrity)
Str: 11 (+0) Dex: 20 (+5) Con: 14 (+2) Int: 16 (+3) Wis: 11 (+0) Cha: 18 (+4)
Saving Throws: Dexterity +10, Charisma +9. Skills: Acrobatics +10, Perception +5, Performance +9. Special Immunities: Chronurgy, Dunamancy (time), Slow, Time Stop. Senses: Passive Perception 5. Languages: Common. Proficiency Bonus: +5
Thrown Weapon Fighting: Sakuya can draw a weapon that has the Thrown property as part of the attack she makes with the weapon. In addition, when she hits with a ranged attack using a thrown weapon, she gains a +2 bonus to the damage roll.
Deflation World (1/Day): If Sakuya would be reduced to 0 hit points, she switches places with an alternate timeline iteration of herself that performed better during the fight. Sakuya restores 80 hit points and ends all conditions and effects upon herself. Because she now has an intricate tie to the timestream she is selectively immune to any spell or effect with a duration greater than instantaneous cast on herself by another creature. Sakuya cannot render herself immune to her own non-instantaneous spells and effects however. Because she can now see and shift between timelines, she has advantage on all attack rolls, ability checks, and saving throws. Additionally, other creatures have disadvantage on attack rolls against Sakuya.
Inflation Square (2/Day): Sakuya can borrow time from the future. This allows her to take one additional Action during her turn. Dual Vanish (3/Day): If Sakuya fails a saving throw, she can erase the failure from all timelines, forwards and backwards in time, and shift to a timeline where she succeeded instead.
Temporal Awareness: Sakuya can add her Intelligence modifier to her initiative rolls.
Spell Mastery: Sakuya can cast Gift of Alacrity and Misty Step at their lowest level without expending a spell slot.
Signature Spells: Sakuya can cast Haste and Slow once at 3rd level without expending a spell slot.
Items:
Silver Dagger (x4): Dagger made of polished silver, probably used in vampire hunting or something idk.
Blinkback Belt: A leather belt with multiple loops and small sheathes that can hold up to four weapons. Any such weapon with the thrown property that is held in the belt and then thrown by the wearer is magically transported back to this belt directly after the attack.
Sakuya's Special Pocket Watch of Blood: A silver pocket watch that does not tell the correct time even once a day. This item has 5 charges, regaining one charge at midnight every day. By using the watch, one charge is expended to cast the Time Stop spell. Upon expending its final charge, the glass on the watch face cracks and the gears grind to a halt, rendering the watch unusable. Alternatively, the watch can be smashed using one action, stopping time for the wielder for 1 round for every charge still remaining. The time stop caused by doing this does not end even if one of the actions Sakuya uses during this period, or any effects that she creates during this period, affects a creature other than herself or an object being worn or carried by someone other than herself.
Actions:
Silver Dagger - Melee Weapon Attack: +10 to hit, reach 5 ft, 1d4+5 Silvered Piercing damage, Finesse, Light, Thrown (20/60).
Killing Doll - Sakuya makes four Silver Dagger attacks.
Inscribe Red Soul - Melee Weapon Attack: +10 to hit, reach 5 ft, 2d4 Silvered Slashing damage, on hit Sakuya does one more Inscribe Red Soul attack, creatures that have avoided taking damage from an Inscribe Red Soul attack this turn become immune to it until the start of Sakuya's next turn.
Soul Sculpture - Ranged Weapon Attack: +5 to hit, reach 25 ft cone, 1d4 Silvered Slashing damage +1d4 Silvered Piercing damage, on hit Sakuya does one more Soul Sculpture attack, creatures that have avoided taking damage from a Soul Scripture attack this turn become immune to it until the start of Sakuya's next round.
Luna Dial (3/Day): As an action, Sakuya can magically force a creature she can see within 60 feet to make a DC 17 Constitution saving throw. Unless the saving throw is a success, the creature is frozen in time until the end of Sakuya's next turn or until the creature takes any damage. While stopped in this way, the creature is incapacitated and has a speed of 0.
Bonus Actions:
Eternal Meek: Sakuya makes two Silver Knife attacks.
Inflation World (3/Day): Sakuya can accelerate her actions relative to the actions of others, enabling her to temporarily act as though affected by a Haste spell. Until the start of her next turn, Sakuya's Speed is doubled, she has +2 bonus to AC, advantage on Dexterity saving throws, and she gains an additional action, said action can be used only to take the Attack (one weapon attack only), Dash, Disengage, Hide, or Use An Object action.
Reactions: Sakuya can take up to 3 reactions per round but only one per turn.
Parry: Sakuya adds 5 to her AC against one melee attack that would hit her. To do so, she must see the attacker and be wielding a melee weapon.
Chronal Shift (2/Day): After Sakuya or a creature she can see within 90 feet makes an attack roll, an ability check, or a saving throw, she can force the creature to reroll. Sakuya makes this decision after she sees whether the roll succeeds or fails. The target must use the result of the second roll.
Convergent Future (3/day): Sakuya can peer through possible futures and magically pull one of them into events around herself, ensuring a particular outcome. When Sakuya or a creature she can see within 60 feet makes an attack roll, an ability check, or a saving throw, she can ignore the die roll and decide whether the number rolled is the minimum needed to succeed or one less than that number (your choice).
Perfect Maid: In response to being targeted by an attack roll that fails to hit, Sakuya can immediately teleport, along with any equipment she is wearing or carrying, up to 30 feet to an unoccupied space she can see. Sakuya can then make two Silver Dagger attacks against the creature that attacked her.
Za Warudo: Sakuya can cast Time Stop as a reaction using either one charge from Sakuya's Special Pocket Watch of Blood or her 9th level spell slot.
Legendary Actions: Sakuya can take 3 legendary actions, choosing from the options below. Only one legendary action can be used at a time and only at the end of another creature's turn. Sakuya regains spent legendary actions at the start of her turn.
Watchdog of the Devil: Sakuya makes an Intelligence (Investigation) or a Wisdom (Perception) check.
Jack the Ripper (costs 2 Actions): Sakuya makes one Inscribe Red Soul attack or one Soul Scripture attack.
Vanishing Everything (Costs 2 Actions): Sakuya magically teleports, along with any equipment she is wearing or carrying, up to 30 feet to an unoccupied space she can see.
Cast a Spell Card (Costs 3 Actions): Sakuya casts a spell from her list of prepared spells, using a spell slot as normal.
Lair Actions: On initiative count 20 (losing initiative ties), Sakuya can take one of the following lair actions; she can't take the same lair action two rounds in a row.
Private Square: Sakuya slows time for each creature within 30 feet of herself. Until initiative count 20 of the next round, the affected creature can move or take an action on its turn, not both. The creature also can't take a reaction or a bonus action. Regardless of the creature's abilities or magic items, it can't make more than one melee or ranged attack during its turn.
Time Paradox: Sakuya chooses a space she can fit into within the lair. She exists simultaneously in her space and the chosen space until initiative count 20 on the next round. Whenever she takes an action, Sakuya chooses which version of her is acting. If an effect or attack can target both of Sakuya's spaces at the same time, she is affected only once. Once this effect expires, Sakuya chooses which version of herself that remains.
Sakuya's World: The flow of time is altered such that every creature in the lair must reroll initiative. Sakuya can choose not to reroll.
Spellcasting: Sakuya is a 20th level Wizard, her spellcasting ability is Charisma (spell save DC 17, +9 to hit with spell attacks). Sakuya has the following spells prepared:
Cantrip: Booming Blade, Sword Burst, Toll the Dead, Mending, Prestidigitation.
1st (3/4): Gift of Alacrity*, Mage Armor*.
2nd (3/3): Cloud of Daggers, Misty Step, Hold Person, Immovable Object.
3rd (3/3): Counterspell, Conjure Barrage, Haste, Slow, Summon Fey.
4th (3/3): Dimension Door.
5th (3/3): Steel Wind Strike, Conjure Volley, Temporal Shunt, Hold Monster.
6th (2/2): Blade Barrier, Word of Recall, Heroes' Feast.
7th (2/2): Mordenkainen's Magnificent Mansion, Mordenkainen's Sword.
8th (1/1): Maze.
9th (1/1): Time Stop.
* Sakuya casts these spells on herself before combat.

100 Magic Items 1. Staff of lesser healing: This staff appears as a quarter staff with a heart shaped ruby on top. The staff can heal for 1d4 hit points. It can do so in three ways 1. If holding the staff 2. If holding the staff and touching another player with your hand. 3. At a range of 25 feet provided the the character holding to staff makes an arcana check of 15. If the arcana check fails it does nothing. The staff has 3 charges and recovers 1d3 charges at dawn.

1. Living Cloak (Requires Attunment): While wearing this cloak you can say the words “Living Cloak” as a bonus action and the cloak comes to life. The cloak has 1d4 hit points and an AC of 15. It can not attack and its main purpose is to give flanks. On your first turn the cloak has a flying movement of 25 feet. On every turn after that it has a flying movement speed of 100 feet. The cloak remains alive for 1 minute or until killed. On death the cloak flys back onto the character.
   
2. Potion of Mind-flayer (1d3): This potion is make from the tentacles of a mind-flayer. When a character consumes the potion it looks just like a Mind-flayer except their size does not change. The creature takes a -3 to Str, Dex, and Con but gains a +5 to Wis, Int, and Cha. The character also gains magic resistance. This potion last 1d4 hours.
   
3. Potion of Troll (1d3): This potion is made from the eyes of a troll. When a character consumes this potion they look just like a troll except their size does not change. The character takes a -3 to Int, Wis, Cha but gains a +5 to Str, Dex, and Con. They also gain dark vision up to 60 feet. This potion last 1d4 hours.
   
4. Forever smoking pipe: This pipe never runs out of pipe-weed and can be light by saying “Smoke” in halfling. You can only use this pipe if you know how to speak halfling. While smoking the pipe you have +5 to all charisma throws with halflings.
   
5. Staff of Webs: This staff appears to be made of rotten wood held together by spiders webs. The user can use the Staff as a bonus action to shoot a spider web in a straight line for 25 feet. It pulls the caster as far as it shoots. It has 1d5 charges and recovers 1d5+1 charges at dawn.
   
6. Staff of Light: This is a white wooden staff with a glass ball at the top. This staff can cast light 1d10 times. If cast overtop of the light cantrip the range changes to 40 feet of bright light and 20 feet of dim light. It recovers 1d10 charges at dawn.
   
7. Wand of Random Cantrips: This is a wand covered in ancient runes. Roll 1d50 and a Random Cantrip is cast. The wand has 1D3 charges and recovers 1d3 charges at dawn.
   
8. Bag of Magic Arrowheads (1D20): This is bag contains arrowheads that slightly glow. A character can try to make +1 arrows with this item. To do so they must make an arcana 13 throw for each arrow. If they fail the arrowhead stops glowing and losses all magical properties. If the character has Magical Tinkers Tools they gain advantage.
   
9. Bag of Hot Stones (1D20) This is a bag of small red stones. They can be used in a sling. They do 1d4 damage bludgeoning as well as 1d4 Fire damage.
   
10. Sack of holding: It appears as a bindle on a stick. The stick is caved with runes and the sack is made from fine silk. Works just as a bag of holding but can only carry 100 LBS and 25 Cubic Feet.
    
11. Ring of Detect Evil (Requires Attunment Cleric, Paladin, Monk): The ring is made of gold with a red crystal inside. When an evil creature is within 100 feet the red crystal glows.
    
12. Magical Sharpening Stone: This stone is made from a blue rock. A character can spend an hour to sharpen a weapon. Do do so they must make an arcana 15 check. A magically sharpened weapon becomes +1 on its first hit. If the attack roll misses it keeps its +1 magical properties. On a hit to weapon losses all its magical properties on the next turn. If the character rolls a natural 1 while sharpening a weapon the stone violently shatters doing 2d4 damage to whoever is using it.
    
13. Sleep Compass: This compass is sliver. It always points in the direction of your last long rest.
    
14. Tracking Compass:This gold compass comes in a small leather case. When removed from the case it allows points back towards the case.
    
15. Magical Sleeping Bag: This sleeping bag is made from owlbear hide that has runes branded into it. When a medium or smaller creature sleeps inside it on a long rest they gain one extra hit die in health back. It takes one turn to get in or out of the sleeping bag.
    
16. Fire Stick: This is a foot long stick of oak wood with runes caved in the side. You can rub your fingers against either end of the stick and it produces a small flame. This flame provides 10 feet of dim light and can be used to catch things on fire.
    
17. Potion of long sight(1d3): This potion is light blue. When a character drinks this potion they can see twice as far as they normally could. This potion last 1d4 hours
    
18. Potion of all sight(1d3): This potion is leaves off a strong glow of white light for 5 feet. When a character drinks this potion they can see under any light conditions. They also cannot be blinded even by magic. This potion last 1d4 hours.
    
19. Highland Cloak (Requires Attunment): This is a wool cloak made of Tartan fabric. It grants +2 to constitution.
    
20. Banner of the Firery Sword: This banner comes in a wooden tube with instructions for its use. The banner depicts a yellow sword with flames on a red background. When the banner is raised all slashing and piercing attacks are at advantage and can do an extra 1d12 fire damage. After a minute the banner erupts into flames consuming it.
    
21. Potion of Goblin(1d3): This potion is made of a goblin’s ears. When a character drinks it they gain +10 to Dex and a -3 to Str, Wis, Cha. They appear as a goblin however their size does not change and they gain dark vision for 60ft. This potion last for 1 hour.
    
22. Music Rocks: These two small rocks are shaped like the inside of an ear. They’re covered in music notes and come in a velvet case. When placed in a character’s ear music starts playing. The character must make a Wisdom 10 save or be deafened for 1d4 minutes. After the deafening wears off they can try the save again. After a successful save they gain advantage to performance throws for an hour. After an hour they must make another Wisdom saving throw. The character can tap the stones with their hand and say out loud the kind of music they wish to play with the stones.
    
23. Bag of Magic Coins: The bag contains 1d4 silver coins. Every day at dawn 1d4 silver coins appear in the bag.
    
24. Horn of Helmor: This is a brass horn with runes on it. When blown make a performance check of 15. If the character is proficient in Horned instruments they have advantage. If successful a Veteran magically. After 5 minutes the Veteran magically vanishes. The horn can be blown once a day.
    
25. Gloves of Animal Handling (Requires Attunment Druid, Ranger, Fighter) These are leather gloves that fit only a medium sized character. When worn they grant a +5 to Animal Handling.
    
26. Magic Hat (Requires Attunment Wizard, Sorcerer, Warlock) This hat once belonged to a powerful Wizard. When wearing this hat you gain a +5 to Arcana.
    
27. Magical Tinkering Tools: These tools allow you to tinker with magical items.
    
28. Mountaineers Arrows (1d20): These arrows when shot produce a magical rope behind them. The rope cannot be cut by non-magical means. The arrows sticks into the ground using magic and can hold 1000 pounds of weight. After an hour the rope dissolves into dust and the arrow loses all magical properties.
    
29. Cavaliers Horn: This is a silver horn with runes on it. When blown make a performance check of 15. If the character is proficient in horned instruments they have advantage. If successful a white riding horse magically. After an hour the riding horse magically vanishes. The horn can be blown once a day.
    
30. Blood Dagger: This is a dagger covered in blood. No matter how hard the character tries to clean it the blood always comes back. When attacking with this dagger if you roll a 20 it also does 1d4 necrodic damage. You heal the amount of damage taken on this roll.
    
31. Fire Dagger: This dagger is always warm to the touch. If you roll a 20 it does an extra 1d8 fire damage but if you roll a 1 you take 1d4 fire damage.
    
32. Ice Dagger: This dagger is cold to the touch. If you roll a 20 it does an extra 1d8 cold damage but if you roll a 1 you’re frozen in place and Incapacitated for 1d4 turns.
    
33. Acid Dagger: This dagger is covered in corrosive metal. When attacking it has a 1d4 chance to have a -1 to damage. If you roll a 20 it does 1d10 extra acid damage.
    
34. Lightning Dagger: This dagger gives a tingling sensation when being held. In order to not drop it you have to make a Constitution 7 save. If you roll a 20 it does an extra 1d10 lightning damage.
    
35. Magical Cornucopia: This appears to be a normal cornucopia. However each day it produces enough food to feed 1d4 people.
    
36. Fishing Rod of Morn: When making a survival check to catch fish you have a +5.
    
37. Portable Raft: This is a small wooden carving of a raft. When you speak the words “Float” while looking at the carving it enlarges into a raft that can hold 500 Lbs. When looking at the raft and you say “Carving” it shrinks back into the small carving.
    
38. Lucky Clover (Requires Attunment): This is a small golden four leaf clover. While attuned to this item a character can reroll any skill check once a day.
    
39. Lucky Scabbard (Requires Attunment): This is a Scabbard made of gold and silver. It can fit a Shortsword, Longsword, Greatsword, Rapier or Scimitar. At the beginning of the day the character must chose a weapon to put in the scabbard. 1d4 times a day the character can reroll to hit with that weapon.
    
40. Lucky Quiver (Requires Attunment): This quiver is made of gold and silver. This quiver can hold Arrows or Crossbow Bolts. At the beginning of the day the character must choose what ammunition to put in the quiver. 1d4 times a day the character can reroll to hit with any weapon that takes that kind of ammunition.
    
41. Lucky Ammunition Pouch (Requires Attunment): This pouch is made of fine black silk and is pulled shut by gold strings. This pouch can hold either Blowgun Neddles, Sling Bullets, or Darts. At the beginning of the day the character must choose what ammunition to put in the pouch. 1d4 times a day the character can reroll to hit with any weapon that takes that ammunition.
    
42. Crystal of the Heart. (Requires Attunment) This small heart shaped red crystal gives you advantage on Insight checks.
    
43. Adventurers Boots (Requires Attunment): These boots give you advantage on savings throws against exhaustion while doing a Forced March.
    
44. Thieves Boots (Requires Attunment): These boots give a +5 to stealth checks.
    
45. Thieves Gloves (Requires Attunment): These gloves give a +5 to Sleight of Hand checks.
    
46. Boots of Jumping (Requires Attunment): These boots allow you to jump twice as high.
    
47. Bag of Waterproof : This blue 3x3 foot bag has a zipper on it. When closed any items inside remain completely dry even if completely immersed in water. The bag always floats as long as there is only 100 LBS in it.
    
48. Trusty Boots (Requires Attunment): You are not effected by difficult terrain
    
49. Barbarians Helmet (Requires Attunment): This helmet is made of iron and has two horns sticking out the top. This helmet allows you to rage once a day as if you were a 1st level barbarian. If you are a barbarian already you can rage one more time and do one more point of damage on this rage.
    
50. Scholars Robes (Requires Attunment): These robes are made of ancient fabrics. While wearing them you gain +5 to History checks.
    
51. Holy Crucifix: This item is made of Wood and Gold. Once a day the Crucifix can be held up. When this is done all undead within 100 feet run away. Every turn they start within 25 feet of the Crucifix they take 1d4 damage. The effects of the Crucifix last for 1d4 minutes.
    
52. Potion of Wildshape (1d3): This potion is dark green color. When you drink this potion you transform into a random CR:1 Beast. The effects last for 1d4 hours. If you die as the beast you return to the amount of HP you had when you drank the potion.
    
53. Potion of Good Looks: This potion is white skin colored. When you drink this potion you gain +5 to Charisma. The potion last for 1 hour.
    
54. Net of Restraint: This net can be thrown on a Small or Medium creature. The net automatically flys onto any target of the characters choice within 50 feet. The creature must make a Dexterity 15 save or be restrained for 1d4 turns. After the net is thrown it becomes magically tangled up. It’s becomes untangled the next day at dawn.
    
55. Horn of the Grave: This is a bone horn with runes on it. When blown make a performance check of 15. If the character is proficient in Horned instruments they have advantage. If successful a 1d3 Skeletons magically appear to help you. After 5 minutes the Skeletons magically vanishes. The horn can be blown once a day.
    
56. Horn of the Undead: This is a rotten wood horn with runes on it. When blown make a performance check of 15. If the character is proficient in Horned instruments they have advantage. If successful 1d3 Zombies magically appear to help you. After 5 minutes the Zombies magically vanishes. The horn can be blown once a day.
    
57. Rune of Instant Damage (1d2): This is a smooth rock about the size of your hand. When you raise it it does 2d20+10 damage instantly. After you raise it the rune crumbles to dust.
    
58. Book of Cantrip Knowledge: This is a leather bound book containing all the cantrips. A character can spend 1 hour studying the book. After doing so they learn one Cantrip from any class. After that the book magically vanishes. In order to cast this Cantrip they must make an Arcana 15 check.
    
59. Magical Scroll Case: This scroll case is made of wood that is cover in leather. The leather has runes branded into it. At the beginning of each day a scroll appears with a random level 1 spell. If the scroll is not used that day it magically vanishes. These scrolls can not be sold and if attempted magically vanish.
    
60. Scroll of ableism: This scroll can raise or lower an ability score at random. The character that reads this scroll picks an ability score. Then they roll 1d4. The effects are permanent. 1:-2 2:-1 3:+1 4:+2
    
61. Book of Halfling Culture: This book has a cover made of beautiful flowers. A character can spend an hour studying it. Afterwards they learn Halfling language and get advantage on all charisma throws against Halflings.
    
62. Book of Elven Culture: This book has a cover made of wood. A character can spend an hour studying it. Afterwards they learn Elven language and get advantage on all charisma throws against Elves and Half-Elves.
    
63. Book of Dwarven Culture: This book has a cover made of stone. A character can spend an hour studying it. Afterwards they learn Dwarven language and get advantage on all charisma throws against Dwarves.
    
64. Book of Goblin Culture: This book has a cover made of crudely tanned animal hide. A character can spend an hour studying it. Afterwards they learn Goblin language and get advantage on all charisma throws against Goblins.
    
65. Book of Draconic Culture: This book has a cover made of dragon scales. A character can spend an hour studying it. Afterwards they learn Draconic language and get advantage on all charisma throws against Dragons and Dragonborn.
    
66. Book of Gnome Culture: This book has a cover made of gears. A character can spend an hour studying it. Afterwards they learn Gnome language and get advantage on all charisma throws against Gnomes.
    
67. Book of Orc Culture: This book has a cover made of black hair. A character can spend an hour studying it. Afterwards they learn Orc language and get advantage on all charisma throws against Orcs and Half Orcs.
    
68. Book of Underdark Culture: This book has a cover made of brains. A character can spend an hour studying it. Afterwards they learn Deep Speach, Gith and Undercommon language and get advantage on all charisma throws against Gith and Aberrations.
    
69. Book of Hellish Culture: This book has a cover made of brimstone. A character can spend an hour studying it. Afterwards they learn Abyssal and Infernal language and get advantage on all charisma throws against Tieflings, Demons, and Devils.
    
70. Book of Ocean Culture: This book has a cover made of sea shells. A character can spend an hour studying it. Afterwards they learn Aquan language and get advantage on all charisma throws against all other Aquan speakers.
    
71. Book of Giant Culture: This book has a cover made of Granite. A character can spend an hour studying it. Afterwards they learn Giant language and get advantage on all charisma throws against Giants and Orges.
    
72. Book of Heavenly Culture: This book has a cover made of white marble. A character can spend an hour studying it. Afterwards they learn Celestial language and get advantage on all charisma throws against Clerics.
    
73. Book of Nature Cultures: This book has a cover made of Leaves. A character can spend an hour studying it. Afterwards they learn Druid and Gnoll language and get advantage on all charisma throws against Gnolls and Druids.
    
74. Book of Fire Culture: This book has a cover made of obsidian. A character can spend an hour studying it. Afterwards they learn Ignan language and get advantage on all charisma throws against all Ignan speakers.
    
75. Book of Sky Culture: This book has a cover made of glass. A character can spend an hour studying it. Afterwards they learn Auran language and get advantage on all charisma throws against all creatures that speak Auran.
    
76. Book of Ground Culture: This book has a cover made of clay. A character can spend an hour studying it. Afterwards they learn Terran language and get advantage on all charisma throws against all Terran speakers.
    
77. Book of Fay Culture: This book has a cover made of grass. A character can spend an hour studying it. Afterwards they learn Sylvan language and get advantage on all charisma throws against Fey.
    
78. Box of Illusions: This appears as a small metal box with a crystal inside. When the box is opened the character must make an Arcana check of 15. If successfully the illusion of any small creature of the characters choice appears right above the box.
    
79. Potion of Inner Strength (1d3): This potion is a dark red color. When drank the character gains +5 to Strength. This potion last 1d4 hours.
    
80. Rainbow Quill: This is a Quill that has a rainbow pattern in the feathering. It never runs out of ink and writes in rainbow colored ink.
    
81. Wand Kit (1d3): This is a kit for making magical wands. A character can use the kit to imbue the wand with any level 1 spell they know. Doing so takes 3 hours and an arcana 15 check. Any wands made have 1d4 charges.
    
82. Wand of Tame Animal: This wand is made of beech wood. When this wand is used any beast CR:1/4 or lower is tamed. Has 1d4 charges.
    
83. Cloak of Magical Warmth (Requires Attunment): This cloak is made of a thick wool and is warm to the touch. It gives you +5 to saving throws against cold and 1d4 chance of resistance to cold damage.
    
84. Cloak of Heat Resistance (Requires Attunment): This cloak is made of thin fibers and is cool to the touch. It gives you +5 to saving throws against fire and 1d4 chance of resistance to fire damage.
    
85. Ring of Detect Magic (Requires Attunment Wizard, Sorcerer, Warlock): This ring is made of silver with a blue crystal in it. When the ring is within 10 feet of magic the blue crystal glows.
    
86. Portable Tent: This item appears as a simple piece of fabric 1x1 feet. When looking at the fabric and the word “Enlarge” it forms a full size tent big enough for 4 people. When looking at the tent and saying the word “collapse” it collapses back down to a 1x1 foot piece of fabric.
    
87. The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch: A golden hand grenade with a cross on top. First thou shall take out the holy pin. Then shall thou count to three. No more no less. Three shall be the number thou shall count and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shall thou not count, neither count thou two. Excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number be reached, then lobest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch toward thy foe. Who being not in my sight shall snuff it. Range 25 feet. Must make an Intelligence save of 10 to use it or it blows up in the characters hand. 1d100 damage all creatures in a 15 foot radius.
    
88. Box of Rotten Cheese: This box is made of wood and contains a large chunk of stinky cheese. The box can be opened once a day. When the box is opened the character must make a Constitution 15 save and 1d3 Swarms of Rats come to the characters aid. If the Constitution save is failed they take 1d4 damage and are poisoned for 1d4 rounds.
    
89. Book of Lore: This book gives you a +10 to history roles related to identifying monsters.
    
90. Book of Nature: This book gives you a +10 to nature rolls related to identifying monsters.
    
91. Book of Peoples: This book gives you a +10 to investigation rolls related to Identifying monsters.
    
92. Book of Arcana: This book gives you a +10 to Arcana rolls related to Identifying monsters.
    
93. Normalcy Gloves: These leather gloves are covered in runes. While wearing these gloves you can hold hot, cold, electric, or acid objects that would normally deal damage to you.
    
94. Refilling Vile of Poison: This vile has 1d3 doses of basic poison in it. Every morning at dawn 1d3 doses are restored to it.
    
95. Bell of Alarm: This small golden bell makes a loud ringing noise when rung. The sound can be used as a signal for up to a mile.
    
96. Bag of many Potions: This Bag is perfectly shaped to hold a singular potion flask made of silver. Every day at dawn one of the following potions are in the flask. Potion of Healing, Potion of Climbing, or Potion of Water-breathing. Roll 1d3 to determine what random potion you get.
    
97. Brewing Stand: This is a set of Alchemical tools specially designed for making potions. If used in combination with Alchemist tools you get advantage when rolling to make potions. You must find or experiment to discover potion recipes.
    
98. Magic Map (1d4): This appears as a simple piece of parchment. However when you rub your hand against it a map of 100x100 feet appears centered around you.
    
99. Potion of Frost (1d3): This potion can be thrown 30 feet. The creature this potion is thrown at must make a Dexterity 15 save or be frozen in place for 1d4 turns. While frozen in place the creature is incapacitated.
    

(Edit: Fixed formatting)

Here are some homebrew magical starting items. Plan on letting my players get 1 each at random for the beginning of my homebrew campaign.
100 Magic Items 1. Staff of lesser healing: This staff appears as a quarter staff with a heart shaped ruby on top. The staff can heal for 1d4 hit points. It can do so in three ways 1. If holding the staff 2. If holding the staff and touching another player with your hand. 3. At a range of 25 feet provided the the character holding to staff makes an arcana check of 15. If the arcana check fails it does nothing. The staff has 3 charges and recovers 1d3 charges at dawn.

1. Living Cloak (Requires Attunment): While wearing this cloak you can say the words “Living Cloak” as a bonus action and the cloak comes to life. The cloak has 1d4 hit points and an AC of 15. It can not attack and its main purpose is to give flanks. On your first turn the cloak has a flying movement of 25 feet. On every turn after that it has a flying movement speed of 100 feet. The cloak remains alive for 1 minute or until killed. On death the cloak flys back onto the character.
   
2. Potion of Mind-flayer (1d3): This potion is make from the tentacles of a mind-flayer. When a character consumes the potion it looks just like a Mind-flayer except their size does not change. The creature takes a -3 to Str, Dex, and Con but gains a +5 to Wis, Int, and Cha. The character also gains magic resistance. This potion last 1d4 hours.
   
3. Potion of Troll (1d3): This potion is made from the eyes of a troll. When a character consumes this potion they look just like a troll except their size does not change. The character takes a -3 to Int, Wis, Cha but gains a +5 to Str, Dex, and Con. They also gain dark vision up to 60 feet. This potion last 1d4 hours.
   
4. Forever smoking pipe: This pipe never runs out of pipe-weed and can be light by saying “Smoke” in halfling. You can only use this pipe if you know how to speak halfling. While smoking the pipe you have +5 to all charisma throws with halflings.
   
5. Staff of Webs: This staff appears to be made of rotten wood held together by spiders webs. The user can use the Staff as a bonus action to shoot a spider web in a straight line for 25 feet. It pulls the caster as far as it shoots. It has 1d5 charges and recovers 1d5+1 charges at dawn.
   
6. Staff of Light: This is a white wooden staff with a glass ball at the top. This staff can cast light 1d10 times. If cast overtop of the light cantrip the range changes to 40 feet of bright light and 20 feet of dim light. It recovers 1d10 charges at dawn.
   
7. Wand of Random Cantrips: This is a wand covered in ancient runes. Roll 1d50 and a Random Cantrip is cast. The wand has 1D3 charges and recovers 1d3 charges at dawn.
   
8. Bag of Magic Arrowheads (1D20): This is bag contains arrowheads that slightly glow. A character can try to make +1 arrows with this item. To do so they must make an arcana 13 throw for each arrow. If they fail the arrowhead stops glowing and losses all magical properties. If the character has Magical Tinkers Tools they gain advantage.
   
9. Bag of Hot Stones (1D20) This is a bag of small red stones. They can be used in a sling. They do 1d4 damage bludgeoning as well as 1d4 Fire damage.
   
10. Sack of holding: It appears as a bindle on a stick. The stick is caved with runes and the sack is made from fine silk. Works just as a bag of holding but can only carry 100 LBS and 25 Cubic Feet.
    
11. Ring of Detect Evil (Requires Attunment Cleric, Paladin, Monk): The ring is made of gold with a red crystal inside. When an evil creature is within 100 feet the red crystal glows.
    
12. Magical Sharpening Stone: This stone is made from a blue rock. A character can spend an hour to sharpen a weapon. Do do so they must make an arcana 15 check. A magically sharpened weapon becomes +1 on its first hit. If the attack roll misses it keeps its +1 magical properties. On a hit to weapon losses all its magical properties on the next turn. If the character rolls a natural 1 while sharpening a weapon the stone violently shatters doing 2d4 damage to whoever is using it.
    
13. Sleep Compass: This compass is sliver. It always points in the direction of your last long rest.
    
14. Tracking Compass:This gold compass comes in a small leather case. When removed from the case it allows points back towards the case.
    
15. Magical Sleeping Bag: This sleeping bag is made from owlbear hide that has runes branded into it. When a medium or smaller creature sleeps inside it on a long rest they gain one extra hit die in health back. It takes one turn to get in or out of the sleeping bag.
    
16. Fire Stick: This is a foot long stick of oak wood with runes caved in the side. You can rub your fingers against either end of the stick and it produces a small flame. This flame provides 10 feet of dim light and can be used to catch things on fire.
    
17. Potion of long sight(1d3): This potion is light blue. When a character drinks this potion they can see twice as far as they normally could. This potion last 1d4 hours
    
18. Potion of all sight(1d3): This potion is leaves off a strong glow of white light for 5 feet. When a character drinks this potion they can see under any light conditions. They also cannot be blinded even by magic. This potion last 1d4 hours.
    
19. Highland Cloak (Requires Attunment): This is a wool cloak made of Tartan fabric. It grants +2 to constitution.
    
20. Banner of the Firery Sword: This banner comes in a wooden tube with instructions for its use. The banner depicts a yellow sword with flames on a red background. When the banner is raised all slashing and piercing attacks are at advantage and can do an extra 1d12 fire damage. After a minute the banner erupts into flames consuming it.
    
21. Potion of Goblin(1d3): This potion is made of a goblin’s ears. When a character drinks it they gain +10 to Dex and a -3 to Str, Wis, Cha. They appear as a goblin however their size does not change and they gain dark vision for 60ft. This potion last for 1 hour.
    
22. Music Rocks: These two small rocks are shaped like the inside of an ear. They’re covered in music notes and come in a velvet case. When placed in a character’s ear music starts playing. The character must make a Wisdom 10 save or be deafened for 1d4 minutes. After the deafening wears off they can try the save again. After a successful save they gain advantage to performance throws for an hour. After an hour they must make another Wisdom saving throw. The character can tap the stones with their hand and say out loud the kind of music they wish to play with the stones.
    
23. Bag of Magic Coins: The bag contains 1d4 silver coins. Every day at dawn 1d4 silver coins appear in the bag.
    
24. Horn of Helmor: This is a brass horn with runes on it. When blown make a performance check of 15. If the character is proficient in Horned instruments they have advantage. If successful a Veteran magically. After 5 minutes the Veteran magically vanishes. The horn can be blown once a day.
    
25. Gloves of Animal Handling (Requires Attunment Druid, Ranger, Fighter) These are leather gloves that fit only a medium sized character. When worn they grant a +5 to Animal Handling.
    
26. Magic Hat (Requires Attunment Wizard, Sorcerer, Warlock) This hat once belonged to a powerful Wizard. When wearing this hat you gain a +5 to Arcana.
    
27. Magical Tinkering Tools: These tools allow you to tinker with magical items.
    
28. Mountaineers Arrows (1d20): These arrows when shot produce a magical rope behind them. The rope cannot be cut by non-magical means. The arrows sticks into the ground using magic and can hold 1000 pounds of weight. After an hour the rope dissolves into dust and the arrow loses all magical properties.
    
29. Cavaliers Horn: This is a silver horn with runes on it. When blown make a performance check of 15. If the character is proficient in horned instruments they have advantage. If successful a white riding horse magically. After an hour the riding horse magically vanishes. The horn can be blown once a day.
    
30. Blood Dagger: This is a dagger covered in blood. No matter how hard the character tries to clean it the blood always comes back. When attacking with this dagger if you roll a 20 it also does 1d4 necrodic damage. You heal the amount of damage taken on this roll.
    
31. Fire Dagger: This dagger is always warm to the touch. If you roll a 20 it does an extra 1d8 fire damage but if you roll a 1 you take 1d4 fire damage.
    
32. Ice Dagger: This dagger is cold to the touch. If you roll a 20 it does an extra 1d8 cold damage but if you roll a 1 you’re frozen in place and Incapacitated for 1d4 turns.
    
33. Acid Dagger: This dagger is covered in corrosive metal. When attacking it has a 1d4 chance to have a -1 to damage. If you roll a 20 it does 1d10 extra acid damage.
    
34. Lightning Dagger: This dagger gives a tingling sensation when being held. In order to not drop it you have to make a Constitution 7 save. If you roll a 20 it does an extra 1d10 lightning damage.
    
35. Magical Cornucopia: This appears to be a normal cornucopia. However each day it produces enough food to feed 1d4 people.
    
36. Fishing Rod of Morn: When making a survival check to catch fish you have a +5.
    
37. Portable Raft: This is a small wooden carving of a raft. When you speak the words “Float” while looking at the carving it enlarges into a raft that can hold 500 Lbs. When looking at the raft and you say “Carving” it shrinks back into the small carving.
    
38. Lucky Clover (Requires Attunment): This is a small golden four leaf clover. While attuned to this item a character can reroll any skill check once a day.
    
39. Lucky Scabbard (Requires Attunment): This is a Scabbard made of gold and silver. It can fit a Shortsword, Longsword, Greatsword, Rapier or Scimitar. At the beginning of the day the character must chose a weapon to put in the scabbard. 1d4 times a day the character can reroll to hit with that weapon.
    
40. Lucky Quiver (Requires Attunment): This quiver is made of gold and silver. This quiver can hold Arrows or Crossbow Bolts. At the beginning of the day the character must choose what ammunition to put in the quiver. 1d4 times a day the character can reroll to hit with any weapon that takes that kind of ammunition.
    
41. Lucky Ammunition Pouch (Requires Attunment): This pouch is made of fine black silk and is pulled shut by gold strings. This pouch can hold either Blowgun Neddles, Sling Bullets, or Darts. At the beginning of the day the character must choose what ammunition to put in the pouch. 1d4 times a day the character can reroll to hit with any weapon that takes that ammunition.
    
42. Crystal of the Heart. (Requires Attunment) This small heart shaped red crystal gives you advantage on Insight checks.
    
43. Adventurers Boots (Requires Attunment): These boots give you advantage on savings throws against exhaustion while doing a Forced March.
    
44. Thieves Boots (Requires Attunment): These boots give a +5 to stealth checks.
    
45. Thieves Gloves (Requires Attunment): These gloves give a +5 to Sleight of Hand checks.
    
46. Boots of Jumping (Requires Attunment): These boots allow you to jump twice as high.
    
47. Bag of Waterproof : This blue 3x3 foot bag has a zipper on it. When closed any items inside remain completely dry even if completely immersed in water. The bag always floats as long as there is only 100 LBS in it.
    
48. Trusty Boots (Requires Attunment): You are not effected by difficult terrain
    
49. Barbarians Helmet (Requires Attunment): This helmet is made of iron and has two horns sticking out the top. This helmet allows you to rage once a day as if you were a 1st level barbarian. If you are a barbarian already you can rage one more time and do one more point of damage on this rage.
    
50. Scholars Robes (Requires Attunment): These robes are made of ancient fabrics. While wearing them you gain +5 to History checks.
    
51. Holy Crucifix: This item is made of Wood and Gold. Once a day the Crucifix can be held up. When this is done all undead within 100 feet run away. Every turn they start within 25 feet of the Crucifix they take 1d4 damage. The effects of the Crucifix last for 1d4 minutes.
    
52. Potion of Wildshape (1d3): This potion is dark green color. When you drink this potion you transform into a random CR:1 Beast. The effects last for 1d4 hours. If you die as the beast you return to the amount of HP you had when you drank the potion.
    
53. Potion of Good Looks: This potion is white skin colored. When you drink this potion you gain +5 to Charisma. The potion last for 1 hour.
    
54. Net of Restraint: This net can be thrown on a Small or Medium creature. The net automatically flys onto any target of the characters choice within 50 feet. The creature must make a Dexterity 15 save or be restrained for 1d4 turns. After the net is thrown it becomes magically tangled up. It’s becomes untangled the next day at dawn.
    
55. Horn of the Grave: This is a bone horn with runes on it. When blown make a performance check of 15. If the character is proficient in Horned instruments they have advantage. If successful a 1d3 Skeletons magically appear to help you. After 5 minutes the Skeletons magically vanishes. The horn can be blown once a day.
    
56. Horn of the Undead: This is a rotten wood horn with runes on it. When blown make a performance check of 15. If the character is proficient in Horned instruments they have advantage. If successful 1d3 Zombies magically appear to help you. After 5 minutes the Zombies magically vanishes. The horn can be blown once a day.
    
57. Rune of Instant Damage: This is a smooth rock about the size of your hand. When you raise it it does 2d20+10 damage instantly. After you raise it the rune crumbles to dust.
    
58. Book of Cantrip Knowledge: This is a leather bound book containing all the cantrips. A character can spend 1 hour studying the book. After doing so they learn one Cantrip from any class. After that the book magically vanishes. In order to cast this Cantrip they must make an Arcana 15 check.
    
59. Magical Scroll Case: This scroll case is made of wood that is cover in leather. The leather has runes branded into it. At the beginning of each day a scroll appears with a random level 1 spell. If the scroll is not used that day it magically vanishes. These scrolls can not be sold and if attempted magically vanish.
    
60. Scroll of ableism: This scroll can raise or lower an ability score at random. The character that reads this scroll picks an ability score. Then they roll 1d4. The effects are permanent. 1:-2 2:-1 3:+1 4:+2
    
61. Book of Halfling Culture: This book has a cover made of beautiful flowers. A character can spend an hour studying it. Afterwards they learn Halfling language and get advantage on all charisma throws against Halflings.
    
62. Book of Elven Culture: This book has a cover made of wood. A character can spend an hour studying it. Afterwards they learn Elven language and get advantage on all charisma throws against Elves and Half-Elves.
    
63. Book of Dwarven Culture: This book has a cover made of stone. A character can spend an hour studying it. Afterwards they learn Dwarven language and get advantage on all charisma throws against Dwarves.
    
64. Book of Goblin Culture: This book has a cover made of crudely tanned animal hide. A character can spend an hour studying it. Afterwards they learn Goblin language and get advantage on all charisma throws against Goblins.
    
65. Book of Draconic Culture: This book has a cover made of dragon scales. A character can spend an hour studying it. Afterwards they learn Draconic language and get advantage on all charisma throws against Dragons and Dragonborn.
    
66. Book of Gnome Culture: This book has a cover made of gears. A character can spend an hour studying it. Afterwards they learn Gnome language and get advantage on all charisma throws against Gnomes.
    
67. Book of Orc Culture: This book has a cover made of black hair. A character can spend an hour studying it. Afterwards they learn Orc language and get advantage on all charisma throws against Orcs and Half Orcs.
    
68. Book of Underdark Culture: This book has a cover made of brains. A character can spend an hour studying it. Afterwards they learn Deep Speach, Gith and Undercommon language and get advantage on all charisma throws against Gith and Aberrations.
    
69. Book of Hellish Culture: This book has a cover made of brimstone. A character can spend an hour studying it. Afterwards they learn Abyssal and Infernal language and get advantage on all charisma throws against Tieflings, Demons, and Devils.
    
70. Book of Ocean Culture: This book has a cover made of sea shells. A character can spend an hour studying it. Afterwards they learn Aquan language and get advantage on all charisma throws against all other Aquan speakers.
    
71. Book of Giant Culture: This book has a cover made of Granite. A character can spend an hour studying it. Afterwards they learn Giant language and get advantage on all charisma throws against Giants and Orges.
    
72. Book of Heavenly Culture: This book has a cover made of white marble. A character can spend an hour studying it. Afterwards they learn Celestial language and get advantage on all charisma throws against Clerics.
    
73. Book of Nature Cultures: This book has a cover made of Leaves. A character can spend an hour studying it. Afterwards they learn Druid and Gnoll language and get advantage on all charisma throws against Gnolls and Druids.
    
74. Book of Fire Culture: This book has a cover made of obsidian. A character can spend an hour studying it. Afterwards they learn Ignan language and get advantage on all charisma throws against all Ignan speakers.
    
75. Book of Sky Culture: This book has a cover made of glass. A character can spend an hour studying it. Afterwards they learn Auran language and get advantage on all charisma throws against all creatures that speak Auran.
    
76. Book of Ground Culture: This book has a cover made of clay. A character can spend an hour studying it. Afterwards they learn Terran language and get advantage on all charisma throws against all Terran speakers.
    
77. Book of Fay Culture: This book has a cover made of grass. A character can spend an hour studying it. Afterwards they learn Sylvan language and get advantage on all charisma throws against Fey.
    
78. Box of Illusions: This appears as a small metal box with a crystal inside. When the box is opened the character must make an Arcana check of 15. If successfully the illusion of any small creature of the characters choice appears right above the box.
    
79. Potion of Inner Strength (1d3): This potion is a dark red color. When drank the character gains +5 to Strength. This potion last 1d4 hours.
    
80. Rainbow Quill: This is a Quill that has a rainbow pattern in the feathering. It never runs out of ink and writes in rainbow colored ink.
    
81. Wand Kit (1d3): This is a kit for making magical wands. A character can use the kit to imbue the wand with any level 1 spell they know. Doing so takes 3 hours and an arcana 15 check. Any wands made have 1d4 charges.
    
82. Wand of Tame Animal: This wand is made of beech wood. When this wand is used any beast CR:1/4 or lower is tamed. Has 1d4 charges.
    
83. Cloak of Magical Warmth (Requires Attunment): This cloak is made of a thick wool and is warm to the touch. It gives you +5 to saving throws against cold and 1d4 chance of resistance to cold damage.
    
84. Cloak of Heat Resistance (Requires Attunment): This cloak is made of thin fibers and is cool to the touch. It gives you +5 to saving throws against fire and 1d4 chance of resistance to fire damage.
    
85. Ring of Detect Magic (Requires Attunment Wizard, Sorcerer, Warlock): This ring is made of silver with a blue crystal in it. When the ring is within 10 feet of magic the blue crystal glows.
    
86. Portable Tent: This item appears as a simple piece of fabric 1x1 feet. When looking at the fabric and the word “Enlarge” it forms a full size tent big enough for 4 people. When looking at the tent and saying the word “collapse” it collapses back down to a 1x1 foot piece of fabric.
    
87. The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch: A golden hand grenade with a cross on top. First thou shall take out the holy pin. Then shall thou count to three. No more no less. Three shall be the number thou shall count and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shall thou not count, neither count thou two. Excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number be reached, then lobest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch toward thy foe. Who being not in my sight shall snuff it. Range 25 feet. Must make an Intelligence save of 10 to use it or it blows up in the characters hand. 1d100 damage all creatures in a 15 foot radius.
    
88. Box of Rotten Cheese: This box is made of wood and contains a large chunk of stinky cheese. The box can be opened once a day. When the box is opened the character must make a Constitution 15 save and 1d3 Swarms of Rats come to the characters aid. If the Constitution save is failed they take 1d4 damage and are poisoned for 1d4 rounds.
    
89. Book of Lore: This book gives you a +10 to history roles related to identifying monsters.
    
90. Book of Nature: This book gives you a +10 to nature rolls related to identifying monsters.
    
91. Book of Peoples: This book gives you a +10 to investigation rolls related to Identifying monsters.
    
92. Book of Arcana: This book gives you a +10 to Arcana rolls related to Identifying monsters.
    
93. Normalcy Gloves: These leather gloves are covered in runes. While wearing these gloves you can hold hot, cold, electric, or acid objects that would normally deal damage to you.
    
94. Refilling Vile of Poison: This vile has 1d3 doses of basic poison in it. Every morning at dawn 1d3 doses are restored to it.
    
95. Bell of Alarm: This small golden bell makes a loud ringing noise when rung. The sound can be used as a signal for up to a mile.
    
96. Bag of many Potions: This Bag is perfectly shaped to hold a singular potion flask made of silver. Every day at dawn one of the following potions are in the flask. Potion of Healing, Potion of Climbing, or Potion of Water-breathing. Roll 1d3 to determine what random potion you get.
    
97. Brewing Stand: This is a set of Alchemical tools specially designed for making potions. If used in combination with Alchemist tools you get advantage when rolling to make potions. You must find or experiment to discover potion recipes.
    
98. Magic Map (1d4): This appears as a simple piece of parchment. However when you rub your hand against it a map of 100x100 feet appears centered around you.
    
99. Potion of Frost (1d3): This potion can be thrown 30 feet. The creature this potion is thrown at must make a Dexterity 15 save or be frozen in place for 1d4 turns. While frozen in place the creature is incapacitated.
    

(Edit: Fixed Formatting)

SYNOPSIS: (~1300 words)
You wake up one evening and find your lamia roommate watching YouTube videos on the TV. She turns over the remote to you, and as you go back in her history to find a video she’s suggested, you find that there’s a lot of ASMRP videos. Flustered, she answers your questions, inadvertently confessing her feelings for you....
TERMS:

• You can fill, post, and monetize freely. Just credit me (as u/RHfactoral) and if your fill is behind a paywall, let me download a copy for myself.
• You are free to make cosmetic/surface modifications (name changes, minor wording choices for the sake of flow, ad libs), as long as they don't drastically affect the plotline and overall atmosphere. Genderflipping is also welcome.
• DM me on Reddit if you'd like to make more drastic changes
• You are not free to add anything hateful/bigoted/xenophobic to this script.
• SFX are suggestions, not rules. I include them mainly to help indicate things like physical actions or scene/location transitions, but you are free to use them or not at your discretion.
• The same goes for music – I'll provide links to royalty-free/free-use selections if I suggest some kind of music, but it's never a requirement.
• Constructive criticism is always welcome.

KEY to stage directions
[Square brackets and SFX: indicate sound effects and/or the action they're meant to depict]
(Parentheses indicate tonal or other such cues for the VA)
Italics indicate a word to be emphasized
Ellipses (...) indicate a pause for emphasis. A (beat) is a slightly longer pause than that. Space between paragraphs indicates a pause for the listener's "dialogue" (or a moment of quiet between listener and speaker)
– BEGIN –
[SFX: footsteps out to an open kitchen/living room area]
Hey. What’s up?
Hungry, huh? I’ll bet. I thought about waking you up for dinner, but you’ve been so tired lately, I thought I should just let you sleep.
I made one of the frozen pizzas. If you want the other half, it’s still in the microwave. I figured you might want to warm it in the toaster oven.
Yeah, I was having some trouble sleeping, myself. I decided to come out and watch some videos on the TV.
Sure! Let me just turn off the headphones.
[SFX: rustling as she takes off headphones and moves closer to speaker]
Here’s the remote. Pull up whatever you like.
Oh, I think I know which one you’re talking about! I started watching it on my phone earlier today, but the battery died. Wanna watch it with me?
Cool! Go ahead and…oh. I’m blanking on the title, too.
It might be a little further back in my viewing history if you want to scroll back through it.
Maybe it was last night? (beat, then panicky) Waitwaitwait, let me… (resigned) Oh, hell.
There’s no point in me lying, is there? You saw.
(sighing) I appreciate you trying to lie for me, but…I can see it on your face. You saw.
Well, they’re ASMR videos. Audios. Whatever you want to call them. I don’t really get the tingles from them that some people do, but the really good ones can be comforting and soothing.
(indignant) No! God! Do you really think I’d watch that out here? You don’t watch that kind of stuff out here, do you?
(mollified) Exactly. “Ew,” indeed.
(mildly disgusted) Ew…no, it wouldn’t be any different if it was a leather couch!
(relieved, but also annoyed) Oh. (takes a deep breath) As much as I appreciate it, I don’t think that’s the way to lighten the mood right now.
What’s that?
Come on, I know you better than that. You’re not going to be able to pretend this didn’t happen, not really. No matter how much you swear otherwise.
Sure. Ask me whatever you want to know, and I’ll be as honest as I can be.
I guess you can keep looking. I don’t know how looking at more of the titles is going to help, but…
Okay. The things in the brackets are description tags.
Yes, there are a lot of “friends to lovers” tags. It’s a popular trope.
There’s a bunch of fill-in-the-blank to lovers tags. Enemies, rivals, strangers…
Yes, roommates, too.
Well, there aren’t a lot of lamia POV videos out there, so I have to make do with what’s available.
(getting uncomfortable) Look, I’m starting to think it might be better to just have you ask me things instead of trying to read things into my watch history.
Good. First question, then.
Isn’t that part obvious? I’m demi-human, and I need to be loved, just like anybody else does.
It’s a song lyric. Don’t worry about it. But you know what I mean. Sometimes, being a “monster girl” is… kind of lonely.
I mean, yeah, there’s dating apps, but…all they really do is make it easier for the fetishists and creeps to find me. It’s really hard to find something, or someone, genuine. I haven’t, at least not yet.
Yeah. So in the meantime, if I’m feeling sad and lonely, I’ll listen to these to calm my mind and fall asleep.
Should you be concerned about what?
(sheepishly, for the next three lines) There weren’t that many videos in there, were there? A few, sure, but –
I guess it did take me a little longer than normal to get to sleep last night.
(with some sadness) I suppose I am feeling a bit lonelier than usual.
Because my friend Amelia – the one that lives across town? You’ve met her, I think? Well, she’s been hanging out with someone she met last week, and I guess…I envy her a little. I mean, it’s more than that, but…that’s what’s set it off this time.
I guess there is someone I’m into, but (yawns) I don’t think they see us as anything more than roommates – (frantic and embarrassed) Friends! Friends! Oh, God….
(embarrassed) What do you mean I don’t have to be embarrassed? It’s like you’re walking in on me emotionally naked! I’m all on display tonight…
(calming down) Okay. I’ll listen.
It doesn’t have to be perfect, does it? I’d rather have you be honest with me. Especially right now.
Coil you? Now? I know I’ve coiled you sometimes when it’s really, really cold, and I’ve enjoyed it, too, but it’s the middle of summer…. (starts to realize what the listener is suggesting) Ohhhhh….
(with some trepidation) Really? You really mean it?
(pleased) Come here…
[SFX: rustling as speaker coils around the listener]
Here we go. Nice and cozy.
(flirtatiously) Oh, you want to be a little closer, do you?
[SFX: rustling as speaker brings listener close]
(For the rest of the script, the speaker is much closer to the listener, and a bit more soft-spoken. Ad-lib the occasional rustle SFX as the two snuggle and cuddle, as much as you see fit)
How’s that? I’m not too in-your-face, am I?
[SFX: kissing, for a couple of beats]
Good.
[SFX: kissing]
Mmmm, it feels so nice to finally be able to put my arms around you like this.
[SFX: kissing]
That ain’t bad, either. (laughs)
How long have you had feelings for me, anyway? And how did I miss this? Usually, I can read you as soon as you enter the room. I thought I could, anyway.
The night I fell asleep on the couch? Are you talking about last winter?
Oh, I was uncomfortable as hell the next morning. The hangover didn’t help, but I was so contorted. I had my tail twisted up in all kinds of awkward positions. I’d have been a lot colder, too, if it weren’t for all the blankets you brought out…
Yeah, I guess you wouldn’t have been carrying me to my bed, would you?
You felt…protective of me? Really? That’s…so sweet of you.
So that was the moment? Wow.
Me? Well…funny enough, it was the next morning, when I woke up in the living room. My head and tail ached from the hangover and the knots I almost tied myself into, but I wasn’t cold.
It took almost every blanket and bedsheet in the apartment just to cover me – I think you even used a few bath towels – but you went to all that trouble just to make sure I'd be warm. You knew I’d need it, that I get cold so quickly. I didn’t have to ask or explain – you already knew.
You’re not like the people I see on these dating sites. You’re kind and thoughtful and…respectful? I don’t know if that’s the right word, but does that make sense? Kinda?
I guess what I mean is…You don’t look at me like a monster, or meat. You treat me like a person. That’s a big deal for any demi-human – especially one who isn’t mostly-humanoid, like a catgirl or a kitsune. Someone like me....It would be weird of me not to have feelings for you after that.
(amused) I know, right? Practically the same moment, and neither of us had any idea.
I know. A year’s a long time, but here we are now. Me, coiled around you with my arms around your neck, and you, with yours around my waist.
[SFX: kissing]
And that. Mustn’t forget that.
Are you sure you’re not too hot with me wrapped around you like this?
(playfully, this line and the next) You are so bad. God…
Did I say “don’t?” I don’t believe I did. [SFX: kiss] If you want to take your shirt off, I’m not going to stop you.
(mildly surprised) The videos again? What’s your question?
I wouldn’t call it a “thing” for humans. I mean, that’s how we make baby lamias, after all, even before the Breach. It’d be like saying a human has a “thing” for humans.
(chuckles) Yeah, let’s not get ahead of ourselves there. And by that, I mean, let’s not get ahead of me.
(murmuring contentedly) Besides, I’m still just enjoying this, getting to be this close to you like this, the way I’ve been wanting to for…god, a year?
Yeah. I could stay like this for a while.
But not here on the couch. It was nice, waking up with all those blankets you put on me, but it still felt like…You know what it’s like when you sleep in the wrong position, and wake up with your neck hurting? Imagine that going two-thirds of the way down your body.
Oh, no. I don’t want to stop, either.
(somewhat seductively) Then let’s go back to my bedroom. I’ve got better AC there, too.
Well, it’s either that, or the floor. I think my bed’s more comfortable than that, don’t you?
(chuckles) You are incorrigible.
Incorrigible, not “encourageable.”
[SFX: kissing]
Well, maybe a little bit…
– END –

^{11th Moon, 20 AC Dragonstone Mood}

Start carving, darling
I wanna smell the dinner cooking
I wanna feel the edges start to burn

– XX –
“Do you remember the story of the Cannibal?”
Their Solar at Summerhall was, admittedly, far better than anything they’d known thus far. Zhoe had been born in a cheap room in the basement of a brothel in Mole’s Town, where protection from the cold meant no windows to let the light in. Four walls, two cots, a fireplace. That had been their home, and when Danny was born it had become hers too.
In a seat by the window, Danny turned away from her view of the shore to look address her. Kissed-by-Fire, they’d called her in Mole’s Town, for her shock of red hair. The singular streak of silver-gold that framed her face might have been the only thing that gave any hint that they might have been sisters. That, and the eyes; Both were purple, but Zhoe’s eyes were a piercing shade more akin to Amethyst; Her sisters was more akin to plum, and in the cold light of the North they looked closer to brown.
“So happens I do,” she said, “why?”
“Do you think he’s real?” asked Zhoe.
“‘Haps,” Danny turned back to the window, “I don’t think it matters. He’s not been sighted in our lifetimes, who’s to say?”
“Might be that he’s lonely, do you think?”
“You would be too, if you killed your brothers and sisters. He has his name for a reason, as do we all.”
– XX –
Dragonstone was impressive to say the least; The island was coated in soot and smoke, and in the distance, a ways away from her goal, stood the castle itself. Black as cole, bent and reshapen into something both beautiful and ghastly. To the east, in the light of the rising moon, she could see the silhouettes of stone dragons sitting atop the keep, illuminated by midnight. But it was not the Keep she was after.
Among other things, the island had been known to inhabit a score of wild dragons whose population had been quickly dwindling under the might of another. Zhoe had only come to know of the Cannibal only through stories. He who had come before the Targaryens, black as the night sky with eyes of emerald green, jagged and malformed, vicious and volatile. Rarely seen, but known for the bloodshed he caused, and the piles of dragon’s bones in his wake. He’d been feeding, and with all the hatchlings on Dragonstone he was never left wanting.
– I –
She saw him first through his eyes; Boiling blood, acid-hot; and searing flesh that left an acrid taste in her mouth. This had been her child, she knew, newly-hatched. Not that it mattered now, for it was nothing but a meal for the beast she had dreamt of becoming. She felt disgusted in herself, and yet exhilarated all the same. She dreamt of kinslaying, and it sang to her sinews in a way that made her feel strong, wretched. Zhoe felt alive as the Blood of the Dragon ran down her jagged, scaled chin.
But he wanted more, or so she believed. She had been called upon, and she could not bring herself to refuse. Whether the Cannibal wanted to feast on her too, she could not be sure.
– II –
In another dream, one had during her long nights at sea, she was afforded a layout of the island proper. She felt the rush of midnight air, the feeling of salt spray on her belly as she grazed the ocean to hunt for fish to sate her appetite until she found another victim. When she slaked her hunger, she took higher, above the clouds and into the night sky. Where she needed not chase after hatchlings and drakes, needed not taste the boiling blood and acrid flesh of her kin, but where she could stretch her wings. Time was immeasurable in her slumber; She might have flown for an hour or a day and it would not have mattered, for when she descended she still felt strong. How radiant the moon looked, she thought, as she caught it through the clouds, before sinking down to the darkness below.
– XX –
To the Dragonmont. She had seen its layout from above, and knew which routes to take. She couldn’t see more than a few feet in front of her, and yet it had been as if she’d grown up on the Dragonmont. The floor beneath her felt near as much as much as home as the rocky island of Summerhall; Better yet, the icy lands just south of the wall where she was born. Somewhere above, surely nesting in the hottest recesses of the Dragonmont, lay her prize. But she took a detour; There was a cave a few yards onward where she feasted in her dreams.
– III –
Zhoe recalled the feeling of her dragon’s breath, the crackling of eggs newly hatching to their own deaths. She had feasted upon her brothers and sisters for years.
– XX –
Hunting for dragon eggs was no easy feat - she could feel her way through the darkness well enough, but digging for what she could not see? She might as well have been searching for a needle in a haystack; Hells, that may have been easier. But the cave was small, and once she could identify the empty mounds of eggs already feasted on she could feel out for those intact. She had been so caught up in her dream that, when she cut her hand on the sharp edge of what she was sure was an egg, she had to stop herself from raising her hand to her mouth to feast. In time she found one, and then two, and once she had them she took them in her arms the same way a mother would hold her babes, and she began her ascent anew.
Zhoe was breathing hard now. The air at the greater heights of the Dragonmont were thick with smoke, and her climb had done her no favours. When she breathed in too deep the smoke stung enough to make her cough, and as she got higher the coughs turned to hacks, and the hacks to heaving and retching until, when she retreated into an alcove to rest, she dropped to her knees and up came dinner stained black with soot.
Her journey thus far had gone uninterrupted, but her noise had not gone unnoticed. In the night, in the black expanse of night and soot and smoke she saw green… Hot as fire itself, as piercing and bright as nothing she had ever seen before. They were eyes, and they looked fierce and angry and violent.
She pushed herself to her feet when the coughing subsided, wheezing more than breathing.
“I see you’ve found me,” she spoke, “and I, you.”
– IV –
She saw a flash of something new; A vision, reflected in his eyes. The last time someone had come to disturb his lair he made a meal. Someone wanted to slay him, or tame him. It was no matter, for they burned to, swarmed in green ran through with all the colours of the rainbow and more. She feasted again, only this time the taste was sweeter.
– XX –
A shock of flame erupted from the Cannibal’s mouth; Green, as bright as the piercing colour of his eyes, ran through with reds and yellows and blue and black onto the ground before him. His flame was a kaleidoscopic death sentence and the heat alone, though not touching her, was enough to make her feel dizzy. Shakily, she threw the eggs into the makeshift pyre and watched them crack and pop like walnuts. In the flames she could hear the sound of dragons hatching, followed by their death cries.
– V –
In the flames she saw prophecy. In the flames she saw a contract.
– XX –
When the flames died all that remained was smoke and the charred corpses of hatchlings that had never been afforded the chance to live; Their labour brought on by force that they would be rid of the world before they grew too big to kill. She likened it to tansy tea in a sense, and it made her question if Cannibal had always had a taste for his own kind. Perhaps, a very long time ago, a dragon with scales as black as the night sky and wildfire eyes had preyed upon hatchlings and drakes out of necessity.
He bowed his head - he kept his eyes on her - but she watched as he tore into the larger of the two hatchlings, the one with more meat on it. She watched him tear, and rip, and slice until he’d made himself ribbons of flesh. Zhoe watched as he feasted, watched as the blood ran down his jagged, scaled chin. He did not go in for the second hatchling.
He wanted her to have the first bite.
She didn’t have claws, or the strength to tear herself a piece, or even a knife to cut a piece. When she took the hatchling in her hands the heat of it alone was enough to make her skin hiss.
She bit into it like she would a leg of goat, if she were lucky enough to have one to herself. It had been everything she dreamed it to be; Acid-hot and acrid, and she almost wretched it up a dozen times before she could swallow it down.
– XX –
Stoutfast had been built by Dragonflame, for without it she would surely have frozen to death before it could be built. It was nothing special; Half as big as most keeps south of the Neck, and nowhere near as beautiful as Dragonstone yet just as ghastly. Cannibal, having helped build the keep, had been kept fat and fed on aurochs when she took him beyond the wall. He hungered for something more, Zhoe knew.
Perhaps he would get to truly feed again.
– VI –
Mayhaps she would like to see it as much as he would.

https://preview.redd.it/pvo8x89d4wyc1.png?width=859&format=png&auto=webp&s=aed8d99080aba99e4362d4b58165056ba49a96bb

Humans are Weird – Snow

Original Post: http://www.authorbettyadams.com/bettys-blog/humans-are-weird-snow
Pale full-spectrum light was filtering in through the frozen precipitation on the skylights. Fifteenth-Click flew up to the next one and opened his mouth to sound the seal. He sent out the soundwave and waited for it to ping back and echo properly before he snatched a perch on the wide gripping ledge the human design left on the edges of their windows. The water cold material was clearly leaching heat from the room. It wasn’t much, but it was enough to make his winghooks twitch uneasily.
“How’s it going up there little buddy?” a voice called out from below.
Fifteenth Click glanced down and saw the diurnal maintenance worker standing by the desk, resting his upper body on his polearm of a cleaning swab. He decided that now was as good a time for his break as any and gladly released the chilling window seal and fluttered down to his coworker.
“The seals are in fact within the parameters the architects gave us,” Fifteenth Click admitted. “Nothing is leaking, the condensation is all but nonexistent, and the thermal loss is withing acceptable margins, but by the tattered wing those parameters! Why in the roots of the tallest tree in the forest do you build in extraneous movement to your structures?”
“Don’t you little guys build in flexibility to your tree cities?” the human asked with an amused smile.
“Not around critical windows designed to keep water out!” Fifteenth Click exclaimed, pulling out a juice orb and stuffing it in one cheek. “That congealed sap like substance you manufacture is something else for absorbing the movement as a seal but it is crazy to depend on it with that load of snow up there? Why not just forgo windows entirely and rely on the full spectrum artificial light sources?”
“Folks like natural light,” the human said as he began to run the swab over the floor.
“Understandable,” Fifteenth Click admitted, landing on the soft surface of the human’s hat. “Be that as it may I still don’t understand why you humans feel the need to build permanent bases in these death trap climate pockets anyway. This planet has multiple habitable zones where the air won’t suck your life out if you go outside without a thermal coating.”
“The mines are here,” the humans said with a shrug, “and we can endure the snow well enough to-”
The far door swung open with a burst of the deep, resonant notes of human song and a midsize human female came spinning into the room.
“-outside is frightful! But my dear, you’re so delightful!” she sang out as she circle the room, seemingly unaware of the two of them.
Fifteenth Click stared in fascination as he chewed thoughtfully on his orb.
“Of course,” his friend muttered, “the snow ain’t so bad but you do have to put up with this sort of nonsense from the snow lovers.”
The other human was now drifting towards them, singing some tune that seemed to be about accepting the current situation with good grace because your social group was pleasant. Fifteenth Click thought that an admirable and sensible sentiment, and he wondered what his friend found irritating in the displayed behavior. The woman finally noticed them and grinned, turning her dance to a bouncy walk in their direction.
“Did you see outside Bob?” she demanded. “Did you see? It must have snowed all night! There is like a foot of the stuff on the ground. I made a whole snow family this morning and a little sno-glu village! And the wing who roosts in my rafters even requested if they could use the sno-glus for their outdoor exercises! I am going to try and organize a company wide snowball fight this afternoon. It’s going to be tricky because of the dangers of hitting one of the Winged so we will have to cordon the area off and -”
The human glanced up at the now opaque skylights and her words turned into a squeal of delight that almost reached a normal pitch. Her feet tapped fast and rhythmically on the floor.
“There’s so much snow!”
She darted forward and placed a kiss on Bob’s cheek before darting to the door, to, presumably, go back out into the snow.
“And you do not find her positive attitude pleasant?” Fifteenth Click asked after she had gone.
Bob heaved a massive sigh and began swabbing the mop over the floor again.
“It just gets a little old,” he explained, “it gets old real quick and folks like her who had just a little bit of snow growing up stay like that pretty much all winter.”
https://preview.redd.it/z1r47zdq5wyc1.png?width=859&format=png&auto=webp&s=345b2aa969dc4477723bf706ca634158b3a33b8c

Science Fiction Books By Betty Adams

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Please go leave a review on Amazon! It really helps and keeps me writing becase tea and taxes don't pay themselves sadly!

Humans are Weird – Snow

Original Post: http://www.authorbettyadams.com/bettys-blog/humans-are-weird-snow
Pale full-spectrum light was filtering in through the frozen precipitation on the skylights. Fifteenth-Click flew up to the next one and opened his mouth to sound the seal. He sent out the soundwave and waited for it to ping back and echo properly before he snatched a perch on the wide gripping ledge the human design left on the edges of their windows. The water cold material was clearly leaching heat from the room. It wasn’t much, but it was enough to make his winghooks twitch uneasily.
“How’s it going up there little buddy?” a voice called out from below.
Fifteenth Click glanced down and saw the diurnal maintenance worker standing by the desk, resting his upper body on his polearm of a cleaning swab. He decided that now was as good a time for his break as any and gladly released the chilling window seal and fluttered down to his coworker.
“The seals are in fact within the parameters the architects gave us,” Fifteenth Click admitted. “Nothing is leaking, the condensation is all but nonexistent, and the thermal loss is withing acceptable margins, but by the tattered wing those parameters! Why in the roots of the tallest tree in the forest do you build in extraneous movement to your structures?”
“Don’t you little guys build in flexibility to your tree cities?” the human asked with an amused smile.
“Not around critical windows designed to keep water out!” Fifteenth Click exclaimed, pulling out a juice orb and stuffing it in one cheek. “That congealed sap like substance you manufacture is something else for absorbing the movement as a seal but it is crazy to depend on it with that load of snow up there? Why not just forgo windows entirely and rely on the full spectrum artificial light sources?”
“Folks like natural light,” the human said as he began to run the swab over the floor.
“Understandable,” Fifteenth Click admitted, landing on the soft surface of the human’s hat. “Be that as it may I still don’t understand why you humans feel the need to build permanent bases in these death trap climate pockets anyway. This planet has multiple habitable zones where the air won’t suck your life out if you go outside without a thermal coating.”
“The mines are here,” the humans said with a shrug, “and we can endure the snow well enough to-”
The far door swung open with a burst of the deep, resonant notes of human song and a midsize human female came spinning into the room.
“-outside is frightful! But my dear, you’re so delightful!” she sang out as she circle the room, seemingly unaware of the two of them.
Fifteenth Click stared in fascination as he chewed thoughtfully on his orb.
“Of course,” his friend muttered, “the snow ain’t so bad but you do have to put up with this sort of nonsense from the snow lovers.”
The other human was now drifting towards them, singing some tune that seemed to be about accepting the current situation with good grace because your social group was pleasant. Fifteenth Click thought that an admirable and sensible sentiment, and he wondered what his friend found irritating in the displayed behavior. The woman finally noticed them and grinned, turning her dance to a bouncy walk in their direction.
“Did you see outside Bob?” she demanded. “Did you see? It must have snowed all night! There is like a foot of the stuff on the ground. I made a whole snow family this morning and a little sno-glu village! And the wing who roosts in my rafters even requested if they could use the sno-glus for their outdoor exercises! I am going to try and organize a company wide snowball fight this afternoon. It’s going to be tricky because of the dangers of hitting one of the Winged so we will have to cordon the area off and -”
The human glanced up at the now opaque skylights and her words turned into a squeal of delight that almost reached a normal pitch. Her feet tapped fast and rhythmically on the floor.
“There’s so much snow!”
She darted forward and placed a kiss on Bob’s cheek before darting to the door, to, presumably, go back out into the snow.
“And you do not find her positive attitude pleasant?” Fifteenth Click asked after she had gone.
Bob heaved a massive sigh and began swabbing the mop over the floor again.
“It just gets a little old,” he explained, “it gets old real quick and folks like her who had just a little bit of snow growing up stay like that pretty much all winter.”

Science Fiction Books By Betty Adams

Amazon (Kindle, Paperback, Audiobook)

Barnes & Nobel (Nook, Paperback, Audiobook)

Powell's Books (Paperback)

Kobo by Rakuten (ebook and Audiobook)

Google Play Books (ebook and Audiobook)

Check out my books at any of these sites and leave a review! "Flying Sparks" - a novel set in the "Dying Embers" universe is now avaliable on all sites!
Please go leave a review on Amazon! It really helps and keeps me writing becase tea and taxes don't pay themselves sadly!

Hi, I'm new to hvac. Could somebody please explain why when the system is low on the refrigerant ac coil starts to freeze. My thought is that when the refrigerant is low there is less refrigerant going into the evaporator coil and it's easier for blower to heat the refrigerant increasing it's temperature. So if the temperature of refrigerant increasing faster and forcing it to turn into vapor faster then why coil is getting frozen? I couldn't find any explanation to this on youtube.

Can a restricted main trunk cause a condenser to freeze? I just had my AC replaced two years ago, and last year I came home and my condenser unit had a frozen line, I shut it off and called the tech, he came out and we started it back up and he checked it and it was fine, I replaced the slightly dirty filter while he was here. Worked for the rest of the year as designed. Cut to two days ago, I reversed the two main trunks on my furnace to put more air flow to the 2nd and 3rd floors, and not completely shut the one to the 1st and basement. Was running fine then it froze up again. I just replaced the air filter, a good one for allergies and pet dander. So I let the unit thaw out, started it back up again, pulled the filter 1/2 way out to see if that may be the issue and it froze up again. So could my restricting the air flow be the cause? Its like 80 digress out today and the tech of corse can't get here till tomorrow.

Hello. It's my first time building a PC and I am going to use it for programming workloads. I'll most likely be using it for compiling and debugging applications, and, maybe, virtual machines (a little bit of gaming then and there as well). Therefore, I do not see any need for buying a dedicated GPU for my build. That's why I've chosen a Ryzen 7 5700g as my CPU. However, I do not know if these are the best components that I should use. Importantly, I do not want to overclock my system or go over 800usd in price. Additionally, I will be using a dual monitor setup. Please let me know if I should swap out the APU or what I could do about optimizing the cooling inside the limited space and other points that I may have missed.
Here is my build: [PCPartPicker Part List](https://pcpartpicker.com/list/RKMhXk)

Type	Item	Price
CPU	AMD Ryzen 7 5700G 3.8 GHz 8-Core Processor	$163.00
CPU Cooler	Thermalright Frozen Edge 69 CFM Liquid CPU Cooler	$53.90
Motherboard	ASRock A520M-ITX/ac Mini ITX AM4 Motherboard	$119.17
Memory	Corsair Vengeance RGB Pro 32 GB (2 x 16 GB) DDR4-3600 CL18 Memory	$81.99
Storage	Kingston NV2 1 TB M.2-2280 PCIe 4.0 X4 NVME Solid State Drive	$60.99
Case	Cooler Master MasterBox NR200P Mini ITX Desktop Case	$122.19
Power Supply	be quiet! SFX L Power 500 W 80+ Gold Certified Fully Modular SFX Power Supply	$104.77
Total		~$706.01

Edit: Added Prices

I’ve been licensed since I was 16, I used to drive EVERYWHERE and it was my favorite thing in the world.
Around the time I turned 19 I started having really bad generalized anxiety which I found to begin triggering episodes of vasovagal syncope, and this has turned into full-blown driving anxiety for the last five years.
I haven’t fainted while driving, I haven’t been in any accidents, but my SO drives EVERYWHERE since my anxiety began. I do try to get behind the wheel every so often when I’m feeling good, have somebody with me, or I’m going a very short distance, and it always ends the same: having to switch off because of my anxiety.
I get dizzy, my vision starts freaking out, sweaty palms and feet, heart racing, and I feel like I’m going to faint. This is common on longer stretches of road, but mainly while sitting at a red light. I’m a very safe and I’d say good driver, but I’m so terrified of fainting or having a medical emergency behind the wheel that I just don’t drive anymore.
I’m currently 37 weeks pregnant, and looking into buying a vehicle of my own after baby is born. I’d really like to be able to drive if there’s an emergency, and not be stuck at home while my partner is at work every day. I know that there’s not much I can do in my current position, but I’ve gotten new glasses which seem to help, and I’m looking into therapy but I’m about to lose my insurance.
Some things I’ve tried while driving in the past that help marginally, but don’t completely solve the problem: Smoking (before pregnancy) Loud music AC on full blast Window all the way down Frozen water bottle between my legs or to hold on my neck/face Calling somebody to talk with on the phone during scary moments
Even with these little helpers, I always find myself bouncing up and down and screaming for help while sitting at stoplights.
I want to drive again, I want to LOVE driving again, but I don’t know what to do and I feel so hopeless. I’m going to have my baby to think about very soon, and I need to overcome this for him. I don’t want to be this person when he arrives.

Bizarre request:
I struggle to sleep in 61F+ rooms. Absolutely crazy, I know it’s ridiculous, no one else has this issue and I’ve tried everything over the years.
Anyways.
I’m trying to figure out a solution for reliably cooling a 100sqft bedroom to the sub60 range (54F ideal but 58-60F range would still be incredible).
I also travel month to month for work, so I’m looking for a portable solution. Primarily in regions in the US with highs and lows topping out at 100F and 70F respectively.
Portable and window AC units generally have a minimum setting of 60-66F and seem to only cool a room to within a couple degrees of that.
I’ve tried tricking internal AC unit thermometers by exposing them to heat lamps (lol), but then I just end up with frozen coils. I’ve been too dumb to truly understand that or figure out a working solution, but it seems like there’s likely to be one - perhaps a setup with a spot heater that somehow heats the coils? Perhaps by swapping refrigerants somehow? No idea what’s reasonable or possible.
This is particularly an issue when ambient indoor and outdoor temps are in the 55-65F range, because I encounter coil freezing or limited cooling capacity, but the outdoor temperature is still too high to cool the room to sub60F.
Willing to invest quite a bit of time and money in this.
If I find some $5k 8000BTU 200lb portable unit that can reliably cool a 100sqft room down to 58F on a 60F night, I would actually consider that a huge win.
Thank you for entertaining this ridiculousness

My AC unit will blow cold air for a little bit and then slow down and kind of just “dump” air out instead. I don’t exactly know how else to explain it other than that. When my AC initially turns on, it’ll blow hard - enough to see my shower curtain or other curtains moving around a bit. If it’s on for a bit, it won’t necessarily blow but kind of just dump the air out of the vent. The air is still cold but not enough to cool the house. For example, my AC has been on and running since 5:21pm. It’s now 7:09pm and is doing its air dumping thing so it’s not cooling really. My house is ~700sq feet. When it initially turns on for the day, it’ll be fine. As the day drags on, it does this.
When I first bought the house (3 years ago), I did not have this problem at all. Now it’s a huge issue! It did this last summer & I didn’t think much of it but here we are again this summer and the same issue.
I don’t see frozen coils or problems with the outside unit. The fan inside runs like normal.

You don't have to go through all those steps to turn off an EV. It's not a combustion engine. Essentially if your foot isn't on the accelerator it's off.
I have a different EV because I hate Elongated Muskrat but just getting off the front seat will turn off the radio and AC/heat. Then locking the car turns off the center display.
What Drew did with all those steps is force close the center display and probably radio and AC. My EV is still able to be put into drive with the display off so that doesn't actually turn the vehicle off.
Once my display was frozen so I had to drive with no music, AC, or GPS so that was annoying. But I still have a little gear shifting knob so driving wasn't affected.

This wasn't my first suicide mission.
I had subbed in for A2, our regular gunman. My squadmate, B1, had dropped us on a mission to sabotage an air base. Their AA defenses limited our drop arsenal, so we picked the bare essentials. B1 fancies the new Quasar cannon, an orbital laser for big bots, and an airstrike from his favorite Eagle. I've always been an AC kind of guy, with a couple strikes of my own, and an AC sentry, freshly jellied from the engineering bay.
I had no idea what I was about to get myself into.
B1 took the southern portion of the map. It looked harder from orbit, but he had the guns and grit to do it. My job was simple, I had the northern segment, with just a single dropship pad.
Getting to that pad was no easy feat, however. Three outposts and a blizzard later, my autocannon backpack was about half empty. I was middling on supplies, Eagle-1 only had a single strike left, and my sentry was on cooldown. B1 was clear on the other side of the map with the supply pod, gearing up to assault a Detector Tower.
As I rounded a sharp icy hill to get my first look at the pad, I could feel my heart sink.
The four-legged behemoth stood next to the vulnerable parked dropships. It was already facing me, like it knew I was coming.
"Hey B? That's uh... that's a Fac Strider. Guarding the dropship pad."
A moment of brief pause. "Oh fuck."
The absence of an offer to help meant that I was on my own. B1 was already in detection range of the tower, he had no choice but to push onward. And so did I.
I chucked my first airstrike at the strider, hoping to break its top cannon with one run. Eagle-1's payload landed clean across its back, but the turret remained in one piece. I must've sunk five more Autocannon rounds into that dastardly weapon before I realized my shots were pinging harmlessly off its armored surface.
"Eagle-1 rearming, be back shortly."
Fuck. I was on my own now. The strider let out a hellish bellow, its underside glowed red as it deployed its first wave of Devastators. The chainguns spun up immediately, harrying yours truly as I rushed to the mountain for cover. The top turret took aim.
BLAM! The first shot lands beside me, throwing me off my feet. I barely keep my Autocannon in my hands. My back is pressed against the icy wall, I can feel the thumping of my heart in my chest, and the steps of the factory in my feet.
BLAM! Another shot, next to me as I'm behind cover. I check my stratagems again. Sentry is cooling down, Eagle-1 is gone. I'm by myself.
The first wave of Devastators rounds the mountain and opens fire. I retaliate with a stun grenade, catching the lot of them in its wake, and blasting those fiends with shots from my trusty Autocannon. By the time I'm done reloading, the Factory has made its way around the mountain, and the chainguns once again whir to life.
I didn't feel the bullet wounds as I dove to safety behind a tiny cluster of icicles, but I did feel the hemorrhaging when I landed. My chest was split wide open, even as I jammed a stim into my neck I could feel death's cold grip clawing at me.
"I'm hit!"
BLAM! Before I can stand, my fragile cover is shattered out from in front of me, and my body slides across the ice, out into the open field. The chainguns spin up again as I scramble to my feet and dive for the mountain.
I land in a nook between the rocks. The gunfire harmlessly skitters off, tossing chunks of ice and rock into my helmet's visor. I'm pinned down.
"You need help?" From B1. But I can't afford to distract him, not as he assaults a tower.
"I'm fine!" I shot back.
BLAM! My hidey-hole is obliterated, and I'm violently thrown to the ground by the impact once again. This time, before those damned chin-mounted death machines can spin up, I dive to the side and find another nook.
I just need to buy time. Time for... something. A distraction perhaps.
My ruminating is cut short. Another Devastator wave is suddenly upon me, out of nowhere. I chuck a stun grenade blindly at them, catching myself in its blast, but I'm safe from the chaingun fire for now. They're so close, in fact, that I can't possibly miss, even as I whip out my Redeemer and spray down the first two before its righteous vengeance turns into impotent clicks. For the last one I swap to my Liberator, just in time to-
BLAM! I'm ejected from my spot, I must have flown twenty or so feet in the air, landing painfully on my back and once again out in the open. I try to sprint to my feet, but all I can do is crawl.
"My leg!" I shout out painfully. Somehow, as I was being thrown across the frozen landscape, the remaining Devastator had landed a pinpoint shot on my right calf, immobilizing me. That wasn't the only cause for panic, however, as I reached into my medical pouch but grasped only air.
"I NEED STIMS!"
This was it. Immobile, out in the open, food for the chainguns. At least I can take one last clanker with me. I drew a bead on the clanker's face, my autocannon sounds off, and it falls, just as the chainguns open fire. I shut my eyes, ready to embrace the sweet release of a hero's demise...
I hear the deadly guns spray at me. My life flashes before my eyes. And then...
Nothing. I open my eyes in disbelief. Every single shot from that deadly volley missed. Sweet liberty must've been protecting me, and she wasn't done with me yet!
I was able to scramble to my feet and leap to one side, landing behind a rock that was just big enough to crouch behind. My breath was haggard, my hands were shaky as I reloaded my Autocannon. And, just as Liberty would have it, at that moment, my Sentry had come back online.
I waited for the Factory Strider to waste its next shot. BLAM! And then I stood up and chucked that sucker as far as my arm could catapult it.
There's scarcely a sound sweeter to a Helldiver's ear than the successful deployment of something that can draw fire away from me. And draw fire it did. While its rounds glanced harmlessly off the armored torso of the beast, it served as distraction enough for me to make my own moves.
"My turn."
I drew a bead on the first chaingun, and... one, two, three shots, and the metal coupling broke, the lethal six-barrel dropping to the ground harmlessly.
BLAM! The top cannon obliterated my sentry, but it had already served its purpose, and I was already taking aim at the second gatling.
One. Two. I missed the third, but the fourth shot rattled the second deadly machine gun off the chin of the leviathan. I was ecstatic. Could I actually survive this encounter?
The Factory Strider had other ideas. Out from its bosom rose another legion of Devastators, their hate-filled eyes met mine as I loaded another clip into my trusty Autocannon.
BLAM! Right past me. The giant clanker must have lost its nerve, it shouldn't have missed such a clean shot. But democracy's tenacity had made me a bastion, I didn't even flinch as I unloaded my remaining rounds into the Devastators below, and felled them.
Finally it was now a fair fight. One on one, man versus machine. I knew what I'd have to do -- I'd have to make my way to the belly of the beast and let loose the righteous fury of the people's will. My headset microphone then chirped, and a voice sweeter than an angel's graced this grizzled veteran's ears.
"Super Earth's finest, back in action."
I could only imagine the grin on that pixie-faced blonde bombshell -- she had to know the effect she had on me. The code punch-in was like an involuntary response to her words. The arc of my right arm, catapulting that gem towards the behemoth would have made General Brasch proud. The spot that it landed was precise, spot-on, just like in training.
But the shriek I gave, the panicked, yet hopeful, "LIBERTY SAVE ME!" That was all me.
What followed was pure bliss. The fwoosh of the Eagle fighter's engines. The KRA-KOOM of her armor-piercing bombs. The secondary explosion of that damned cannon turret. And the pained guttural scream that the Strider bellowed as it fell to its knee equivalents.
"Boom. Target down."
--
Based on a real experience lol. I may have embellished the tale somewhat, but whatcha gonna do? Thanks to my buddy B1 for actually taking on that detector tower single handedly, I'm sure his story is just as (if not more) exciting.
Would love to tell more real tales from Helldivers II gameplay like this if this post gets enough love. Till then, Master Sergeant "F2" Fen, over and out.