hello everyone! i am a baker and about 8 months ago i got cookie dough in the charger port of my iphone 11. as soon as my shift ended that night i went home and cleaned it out as best as i could with isopropyl alcohol and qtips. the port was working for awhile but a few days ago it stopped altogether. should i take it to a business and have it professionally cleaned or is there a way i can fix this at home? i’ve only waited this long because money is tight and i’ve been putting off biting the bullet and spending the money to have a professional look at it. thank you for reading!

I'm 43F. I've been dating this German guy (M43) for almost 2 years. We met online. We clicked from the very first moment and became exclusive very soon.
He's a super nerd. I whimsically define him a less obnoxious Sheldon Cooper. I like him a lot and throughout the time I have developed deep feelings for him. He's not good with words, but he's always been by my side when I needed him. Honestly, under many aspects he's the best partner I've had in years.
What bothers me is that he says he cannot say whether he loves me or not, he always says he likes me very much.
His friends basically ignore me. I try to be the better person and tell myself it's just a cultural difference (they're all German, I'm not), but deep inside myself I have the feeling they're just rude.
I made an effort and planned a trip to my Home Country so that he could meet my best friends and my family. To date, I still haven't met anyone from his family aside his brother (but only because he happened to be in town while on his way back home).
Me and my guy agreed that we won't get married (it's really not a must for me) nor live together (we both need our personal space and our flats aren't big enough for one of us to move in). I recently told him that although the big 2 (marriage/living together) are out of question, I'd like to have some perspective, because we're both mid 40. I told him I'd like to know he wants to get older with me. His answer was freaking rational as usual and it was like a slap in the face "I can't say it because I can't tell you something that for me is not true". I'm trying to see what's good in him, in us. But I'm feeling demotivated and sometimes sad.
Any thoughts, anyone? I really could use someone else's two cents.

I'm in love with my best friend of 5 years, she's dismissive avoidant and I'm anxious attachment. After the up and down of 5 months of courting and bread crumbing from her it became clear that it wasn't going to happen (when she told me she'd started seeing someone and started blowing me off for him) and honestly it ruined our friendship so I went no contact with her.
It's been 2 months and I decided I wasn't going to waste my time pining over someone who never really wanted me. So I started dating (just casual fun, nothing serious) and have been seeing some wonderful women. Even though I miss her (she was my best friend) I thought I was getting better.
Last Friday was her birthday and I was really tempted to reach out to her but didn't, then a mutual friend of ours got tagged in photos they all took together to celebrate and I saw her with the guy she choose over me for the first time.
I feel like I'm back to square one 🫤

Partner busy, she tries her best but I am starting loosing feelings
I will preface by saying that despite life is hitting hard (work mostly) this is not the case where the partner disappears for days with no communication. We call once a week/10 days, some few updates throughout the day but no real conversations. I really know she is making an effort.
Following other people suggestions from this forum I have been keeping myself busy, both with Individual activities and hanging out with friends.
But the result is that the excitement for the weekly call is fading, I think maybe because I feel the relationship is on her terms, or maybe I simply feel like we are not “building” a relationship for the majority of it.
we are supposed to close the gap in a month. So at this point I am considering whether I should probably just endure this

Hello All,
I'm going to try to explain my situation in a little bit of detail and try to get advice on how to complete my case. I hope if anything that this can help the next person figure out the proper path to go down.
In my military service as a 91B all-wheeled mechanic I completed a sleep study and was approved confirmed as having sleep apnea. Prior to my service I got excellent sleep but during my service I started to feel extreme lethargy. Multiple times I would fall asleep while driving (one time being during a convoy), I would have constant headaches, and many more of the symptoms from sleep apnea. Prior to service I was 220lbs but during the time-frame I was 185lbs with abs and in the best shape of my life. According to my service records I was obese which was the furthest from the truth. I was diagnosed with mild- sleep apnea during a sleep study with a VA referred institute.
Fast- forward to last year in June where I submitted a new claim that had a recent diagnosis of servere sleep apnea from the VA (with a CPAP prescription). I also submitted for retrocalcaneal bursitis for an injury I suffered in service. I did a C and P examination in November for both. The examiner was a traveling nurse that had no clue she was doing examinations that day (I'm not sure if this is relevant or not). It went by fast and she was kind.
Early January I got my decision letter for the retrocalcaneal bursitis and was approved for 10%. My sleep apnea portion was deffered because they needed more information from the examiner.
Around mid January I was denied for sleep apnea. One of the reasonings was that "There were no findings related to sleep apnea." See first photo attached of the denial. My VSO and I surmised that the cause of this denial was that they didn't receive my sleep apnea exam while in service. Also, they claimed I was obese during that time-frame.
I found the hospital I completed the original assessment in, obtained the assessment, found photos of myself from that time-frame disproving the obesity claims, and sent a personal statement in as a supplemental claim on January 31st.
After months of waiting from January 31st to this past Friday May 17th I finally got a response on my supplemental claim. See second attached photo of my most recent denial response.
My ultimate question is what's the next step? Is there anything else I should submit as another supplemental claim or do I have a case for a higher level review?
I hope I explained everything and would love some advice from anyone experienced in this. I appreciate the assistance so far.

My roommate (let’s call her Katie) and I moved in together in a small apartment in NYC August 2023. Katie went to college with my best friend from elementary school and needed a roommate since her rent was expensive and I was also looking for a roommate at the time so we decided to look for an apartment together.
We signed a year lease, so the lease is up August 2024. I didn’t know Katie that well, but from the few times I met her she seemed nice with some strange qualities, (who doesn’t?) but we also just grew up differently and in completely different states. While I was living with Katie, her and my childhood friend got into a fight and Katie would badmouth my childhood best friend to me and I would get uncomfortable. I wanted to be able to listen to her, but also that’s my childhood best friend.
Katie was always having problems with boys. She’s 30 and wanted to get married soon and she was very jealous of her friends who were getting married (including my childhood best friend)
Anyways… fast forward to April 2024, I’m working a 10 hour shift in the hospital when Katie texts me saying she has a “surprise”. I walk into the apartment and there is a small dog there that she adopted. I’m all for adopting a dog especially if she was feeling lonely but I felt disrespected that she didn’t ask me first. We share an apartment and it’s tiny. The dog is also not potty trained. After a long day, I wasn’t THAT happy to see she bought a dog but a day later I got over it. We talked about paying $50 a month extra on our rent so we could have the dog and now Katie is acting strange and went back to her hometown and left the dog there with family. I never said she couldn’t keep the dog, I was just surprised after working a long day. She keeps making comments how her other friends are happy for her because her mental health has been declining and I was happy for her aswell, but I don’t like the way she went about doing things. We talked about her getting a dog and we agreed I’d go with her to see the dog first before she bought it.
Now Katie is treating me like a coworker you can’t stand and I feel uncomfortable in my own apartment. I moved to nyc because it was closer to my job and I didn’t want to commute 2 hours everyday there but I find myself staying with my parents more than being in the apartment with her because of her energy. We already mutually agreed to not resign the lease in August. AITA?

My parents...they always strip me from everything I love. They take away everything. They took away my closest friendship, the only relationship that made me feel happy. They took them away from me simply because they were upset that them themselves felt as if "they weren't good enough for me so why was I seeking other relationships?". I just felt lonely. I loved my parents but it felt nice to have someone else to actually genuinely love me. Because of my parents I don't have a social life, I spend all my time in the house and with them. They only want me to be friends with people they approve but I don't really feel connected to them.
Even my interests and hobbies, like music. Just now they yelled at me for fumbling up and ending up not performing/practicing in front of them because I felt too embarrassed or shy. They told me they're taking away my music lessons because I'm useless and I can't even perform in front of them. I don't know. I love music and I love playing an instrument. I know being a musician you have to have confidence and be able to perform in front of an audience but when my parents tell me to I start to feel embarrassed and self conscious and it feels forced. And when I can't even when I try they get mad and threaten to take music completely away from me. I feel bad because they're the ones that's paying for my music lessons and I know they want to hear me but I just can't. I dont know why. Its probably anxiety but they say it's not really an excuse seeing as they're family.
For a long time I've given up on romance or love because I know my parents are going to probably put me in a forced marriage or in a marriage that benefits them. Yes it upsets me but I don't really care anymore. I suppose it's better to have someone that makes my parents happy because no matter what I do, if they're not happy, I can't be happy.

I've been divorced for 2 years now. My ex just got remarried and I am so happy for them, she's amazing and I feel so blessed we have another adult in this world and on our team who loves our son. That being said, gosh I'm ready for it to be my turn. I have trudged through dating, and I mean I’ve made every attempt to continue to show up bright eyed and bushy tailed but….. It's been ghosting after ghosting, lie after lie, hookups and dead ends. My poor freaking heart is too fragile for this.
A little about me; I'm 38 and work full time as a mental health therapist. I LOVE what I do and feel SO lucky. I also adore being a mom and watching my son grow and excel. I love tattoos, reading, naps, seeing concerts or stand-up, having good conversations on patios with drinks. I am also college basketball obsessed and live for the season!.
Physically I'm 5'7, brunette, hazel eyes, bbw/thick, winning smile, great sense of humor, tattooed, loving, kind, warm, and hopelessly looking for my person. I have a dog I love, some best friends that are so good to me, but I'm just missing that someone to do mundane life stuff with along with fun stuff. I hate sleeping alone and I miss having that hand to hold
I'm most attracted to taller, beefiebulkier men, beards and tattoos are welcome but not a must. Nice smiles, kind hearts, great sense of humor, and a willingness to connect are a must. Also PLEASE be single, between 28-45, and in the US (Colorado preferable!) Say hi and let's see if we can find something beautiful.

TL;DR: Luigi and Saiko have the potential to be a pairing with fun contrasting personalities and character growth potential while working with what's there in canon already without much if any change.
Time for something a bit... different for this sub, at least from what I can tell. I only just joined yesterday thanks to Medi's recent video.
Before we begin, I want to start off by saying that this is in no way a "my ship is better than yours" post. You are all free to like what you want, all I'm doing is trying to spread love for a pairing I hold so dear, and why I wish more people knew what's special about it. In other words, don't take this the wrong way. With that out of the way...
Saiko Bichitaru is my favorite SMG4 character. It took a bit for me to appreciate her, but as a fan of the show since 2013, as her debut year of 2018 went by and she continued to develop into a core cast member, I thought that for a show like this it was a very well-executed character arc, with a pretty heartwarming conclusion to boot. In the years since, besides perhaps 2019 which I thought was pretty good for her character, she took a step back in favor of other characters getting the spotlight, which isn't necessarily a bad thing but part of me does wish they got to utilize certain dynamics with her more. Tari and Kaizo are obvious ones, but another obvious one that I think is largely unnoticed these days is her dynamic with Luigi.
Luigi is my other favorite character, for generally being likable while still being entertaining, but there are other, niche-er reasons too I will get into later. For now I will say that he has has a sort of "magic" about him, in that despite his cowardly exterior (occasionally gigachad moments aside, which are mainly done for comedy's sake) he has a big heart and tries to see the best in people. In SMG4, him becoming Saiko's friend during her darkest hour (heh) is one of the biggest examples of this. It started an unlikely friendship between a timid but kindly plumber and a tough and passionate rockstar, something that remains to this day, but mainly in background cameos. Despite this, I've noticed that the larger fanbase doesn't really acknowledge this much, likely to due A. the lack of major usage since 2020 and B. some fans weren't around when those videos were new. But that's why I'm here today: I am here to talk about what makes this dynamic work so well, but also that I legitimately think that while considering that, Luigi x Saiko is a pairing that can work extremely well given what's already there without much interference. Again, I'm not saying that it's "better" than other pairings involving one of these two, only that it's one of the more "realistic" pairings as a whole in my opinion. To start with, let's go over Saiko's character arc again.
PART 1: SAIKO
I don't want to turn this into a recap, so we'll go over her story briefly before getting into the parts involving the green Italian man. A fictional rockstar in a dating game from the band KS-2 brought in by Boopkins due to his loneliness, Saiko started off as an extremely clingy yandere, violently demanding attention from others if even a second was put away from her being the center of attention. After about six months of her being a villain, eventually she realized that she has a problem and became depressed over it, only fro a certain someone to come in and kickstart her redemption, slowly but surely becoming nicer and becoming friends with the SMG4 gang, notably Tari and Meggy.
I personally feel like a lot of Saiko's POV is understood if you saw certain videos happen as they aired, but it all started with Luigi's Lesson, where the usually cowardly Luigi learns about Saiko's problems and tries to help her become nicer. As you may know, he succeeded for the most part, with her doing a good deed by the end (saving Mario from choking on hot dogs), and she slowly became nicer over time. The thing is that Luigi was Saiko's first true friend, someone who saw her potential for being a good person before anyone else. In this case, I don't really count Boopkins since while he did care for her, after her debut he tried to stay away as much as he could and didn't really attempt to help her until after Luigi kickstarted that whole thing. Beyond that though, there were still moments throughout 2018 that showed Luigi being the one to help Saiko improve herself, the main one being a small moment in The Mario Cafe, but even Mario and the Diss Track had Luigi be the one to tell Saiko the truth about Bob in that arc.
All things considered, my personal interpretation is that Luigi saved Saiko's life. Without him being there for her, Saiko would've continued scared off people with her violent tendencies, and she never would've found the "attention" she desired so much via the SMG4 gang. And it all started because some easily-scared plumber saw something more in someone even he was previously scared of. Speaking of which, let's talk about him.
PART 2: LUIGI
To start with, I wanted to mention that Luigi is bisexual, not homosexual. "Gay" can be used as an umbrella term for anyone in the LGBT+ community, and Luigi has shown attraction for both men and women throughout the series, with a lean towards men mainly for comedy purposes. The 2015 episode Love for Luigi is a very notable example of this, where Luigi falls in love with Daisy and tries to win over her heart, and he succeeds by the end... but did he really? Much like several other aspects of the series, this is something only really brought up when it's convenient (like the 2016 episode Boo Busters) but otherwise Luigi is portrayed as single. Since we live in an era where they care about canon a little more, I think the only plausible explanation for this is that they broke up.
While I imagine that Luigi is fine with this these days, to get into headcanon territory a little, perhaps Luigi still feels lonely to this day. I mean, he still shows attraction to people, even showing interest in romance (such as this one clip from a Mario Does Things video from a couple of years back called "luigi tries to get with the ladies" on the Shorts channel), so there probably has to be some level of desire for it internally. Maybe he feels lonely, which is why he could relate to Saiko's struggles at first. But that's enough about headcanons for now.
Another thing about Saiko is that she just fits Luigi's taste in general. Luigi is with Daisy in Nintendo canon, and she's a strong gal with a lotta passion for what she cares about. While Luigi is plenty capable himself, in SMG4 he still shows signs of timidness and cowardice every once in a while, and of course he tends to be the butt of many jokes that he can't do anything about. From a comedy perspective that's fine, but from Luigi's POV, considering the several other responsibilities he has, the dude is tired. Someone strong and passionate like Saiko has the potential to teach him about confidence and standing up for himself in return for him teaching her about kindness and being rewarded for it. Long story short, being with Saiko not only fits Luigi's own tastes in partners, but Saiko in particular could do something that helps him better himself. In turn...
PART 3: LUIGI & SAIKO
Everything discussed leads to a relationship between two contrasting personalities with their own problems, and getting together leads to both of them becoming happier in the process. And hey, who doesn't like a ship with contrasting personalities? The thing about LxS though is that the seeds were already planted in the show itself to build off from, with the setup given in Luigi's Lesson potentially giving us just that. As for their dynamic, the times they do show up together, as I said before, consistently have them friendly without any real holes or inconsistencies. A large part of that is due to their underusage together, but even in recent episodes, we have moments such as the 2022 Christmas episode where they were cooking dinner together, or a more recent episode that shows them together at SMG3's coffee shop.
One final major point though is that I think Luigi and Saiko being a couple could bring things full circle. Saiko, a woman looking for love and improves herself thanks to a certain person starting it all.... only for said person to fall for the woman that Saiko became, and in turn Saiko falls for Luigi for being the one who started her new life and for being a kindhearted person who understands her the most, next to Tari mainly shown in the KS-2 mini-arc from 2022. In other words, the person Saiko was really looking for was the person in-front of her the whole time. If you ask me, that's a pretty fitting note to "conclusively" end Saiko's original character arc, even if it already ended around 2019.
As a side note, Luigi and Saiko have potential to be really good parents, but with the "gender roles" switched, which is always fun. Luigi is timid, caring, and tidy, while Saiko is also caring, but also passionate, tough, and cares for her friend's well-beings, both like a mom and a dad respectively. It also has a lot of comedy potential as you have the two of them learning the ropes of parenthood, and it could lead to more interactions with other characters, mainly Karen (in which Luigi already gave advice to on parenting one time, showing that he already has the ropes to a degree).
CONCLUSION
Overall, Luigi and Saiko have a lot of potential for not only their dynamic, but also the idea of them becoming a couple. I wish more people knew about this since I feel that LxS is largely seen as "MxM's Player 2" given how you only really see MxM fans mention the pairing. That isn't a bad thing at all, I myself like that pairing, but I do wish that the pairing had a little more of a fanbase of its own. But hey, that's part of why I'm talking about this now. The good news though is that there has been something of a small resurgence of the pairing already despite the fact of content, mainly through the existence of RockRage8962's fankid characters Angelo and Rin, who were made into Gmod characters by Duz/Glithware and AnEyeArtist.
Despite this, I do wish that more people understood why this pairing is special, and I hope with this essay, more people can do so. You can still like whatever pairings you like, but whether this convinces you on the ship's idea or not, I hope you at least gain a little more respect towards it. If anyone has any questions or want me to elaborate on something, let me know and I'll likely respond, but if you made it this far, thanks for reading!
BONUS: A playlist of videos containing at least one Luigi and Saiko moment, from 2018 to 2020.
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLDYLLnT8V-AT9AUb28cpE87_-a4CMbEed

On the weekend my friend and I were in a rush to get somewhere, we missed our tram so I ordered an Uber. Literally as I clicked confirm my phone died. I had seen on screen for a millisecond that driver would be 3 mins. We waited about 5 mins and no car came so my friend ordered another.
Whilst waiting for the other, a car came and stopped near us (this would have been double as long as the initial 3 mins now) but we weren't sure if it was my Uber and my friends was coming right behind so we got in that. I see I have been charged $10 cancellation (it was only going to be a $10 ride) which is fair enough to compensate the driver but I feel like hes also rated me badly because of it when he took double as long to get there anyway. Which I think is unfair when my phone died unexpectedly and he's getting paid to not even do the job. Is there anyway to dispute the rating (not the fee)?

Once upon a time, there was a lonely guy named infinite_b0ner. He sat quietly in his room, contemplating the meaning of life. Why is life filled with so many mysteries? Do aliens exist? Why am I without any friends? That latter question made him stop... He turned his chair towards the window and looked out towards the distant lands. A long sigh left his breath as he saw the petals on the flowers slowly drift down, noting it as an imagery of his own life where the petals represent time cascading down a path of no return. Time was passing and he felt so goddamn lonely. No individual would look him into his eyes and say, "I love you, infinite_b0ner..." Instead they watch him with disgust. They look at his name and say "wtf are you?! Get away from me, weirdo." Mr. B0ner closed his eyes in the moment when those memories of judgement came rushing through his brain. Sort of like when the blood rushes to his... "NO! It's too early for that," he thought to himself. He murmured, "People consider me a dirty beast. I shall not think of such thoughts anymore. I've got to free myself from that identity." He stood by the window as the sun began to set, leaving his eyes closed as a smile slowly took over his sadness. “Nah, this name is too funny. I shouldn’t change myself for others. I shall wear my name proudly and the right individuals will come and accept me for who I am.” infinite_b0ner stood proudly in that moment before sitting back down at his computer to visit this subreddit. “It’s time to make a post and find an amazing, caring person to join me on my journey to be the best, like no one ever was.”
Now onto my info:

• A lonely, single 28 year old dude that apparently loves to write at times!
• I'm into making other people laugh, showing off my humorous side at times!
• A great listener who will spend the time getting to know you. I enjoy being there for others!
• You won't have to worry about me ghosting or lacking in the conversation department. I love to meet people and taking the time to really invest in others
• I also enjoy reading, gaming, exploring nature, working out, and... eating. What's your favorite food?
• I'm an overthinker in life, sadly. Heck, I'm overthinking this post and wondering if anyone will be interested! Overthinkers unite!

What I am crossing my fingers for:

• To meet a wonderful, understanding, respectful friend that is willing to invest effort into this and make it work
• Someone to smile and laugh with, and befriend for good!
• A respectful, caring individual that is here for the right reasons and isn't a magician in disguise who will disappear out of the blue

I think that's the gist of who I am and what I am searching for. Obviously, there is more about me that I can share, but I feel that I should reserve that for our conversation as we get to know each other more! So feel free to message me if you're interested. :)
Thank you for reading and I hope you have an amazing day!!

My 4 year social community server project: Dreamland

Please feel free to take a look in there so you can see what I've built and what I'm capable of!

About me:

Hello! You can just call me Ape, it's nice to meet you. I'm extremely passionate about building communities and creating wonderful memories with people! It's what I've been doing for over 4 years nonstop and I've enjoyed every moment of it. I'd like to keep doing it and help build new communities out there.
I've got various interests and hobbies such as military armored vehicles, science/science-fiction, fantasy, film, gaming, anime/manga, and much more. I've always been quite a nerd at heart. :)

My experience:

Dreamland was my main community project that I worked on for 4 years. I built it from scratch and kept it running with consistent engagement, ensuring a healthy and friendly community thrived. It was a small 21+ social community that maintained 70 - 80 members over the years, at least 45% of that number were active at any given moment. It was home to many people during the pandemic and after.
It is unfortunately sporadically active as I've taken a huge break from it after 4 years of nonstop work. Since then, I've been helping any new servers I find to grow into a flourishing community.
I'm highly experienced with social communities but I'm also very flexible and can help build communities geared towards more specific topics or niches.

What I can do for you:

I'm excellent at building communities from scratch and keeping members engaged through consistent conversations. I'm great at moderating and keeping a community healthy and friendly. I can also provide consultation on how to better run, engage and moderate your community. I'm willing to stay and continue growing and moderating your community for as long as you need me.
That is what I offer with my services.
I'll work on your server for $15 per hour. Feel free to privately message me here if you wish to reach out to me and ask any questions. :D

The beginning of my daughters 6th grade year (2021), a new girl moved to town. We will call her Ruth. Her parents had recently divorced and she moved here with her mother. My daughter quickly became friends with her and I noticed my daughter coming out of her shell more. Being less shy, more outgoing. I was happy for her to have made a new friend that she was close so quickly with. The friendship quickly turned into best friends. The girl began coming over to our house for sleepovers on the weekends as kids do. They would hang out at the park together in town. She eventually asked to go over to her house to hang out and I said yes. She knew it would just be hanging out during the day as I really didn't know her mother well. My daughter got in the car and told me how much she liked hanging out over there and then proceeded to tell me there roaches crawling on the floor in the girls bedroom, THEN asked if she could stay the night sometime. I told her no and explained to her why and said that her friend is always welcome to come stay at our home. BFF's continue. No harm, no foul.
Fast forward to 7th grade year. Still BFF's. This is great. Especially since girls are so awful to each other ALL THE TIME IN JUNIOR HIGH. Her mom has a work trip and has to travel out of state for a few days during the school week. She asked if her daughter could stay with us. My husband and I agreed that it would be fine and she stayed with us for a few days while her mom was out of state. Still BFF's.
Now it's the middle of 7th grade year, around January (2023). Her mom (46 y/o)started dating a new guy(50 y/o). This guys fiancé had recently left him for another guy. We will call him John. I live in a dominantly republican area if this gives you any idea of the people I'm dealing with/talking about. Anyways, they fall in love and she moves in with John within 6 months of dating each other. (Approx May 2023). Her son decides to move back with his dad. Her other daughter moved in with a boyfriend (she is over 18). So, just the mom and daughter move in with him and his son(irrelevant).
Summer 2023 it is suddenly unfair that Ruth is always coming over to our house, but my daughter never goes over there. My husband(37 y/o) and I(35 y/p) agree that it is ok for her to go over there. John had just recently putting up an above ground pool. We don't have a pool. It's summer. I get it. She goes over there plenty of times, I let her stay late as we just live about a mile or two down the road. John starts building a "cabin" as a "great outlook over the pool". This is basically a cabin/pool house thing up 12 feet above the pool, but kind of to the side. My husband and I think its super weird...but whatever, they continue hanging out back and forth at one another's houses. Ruth continues to stay over a lot. In the midst of all of this and my daughter meeting John she informs me that....John thinks my daughter is a liar. Of course I asked why. John thinks that because my daughter will not look him in the eye when she speaks to him. My daughter is shy and has a lot of anxiety. I told her that she is not required to look him in the eye if she doesn't want to her. Its HER choice. John now has a say in what Ruth wears. He is not allowing her to wear short shorts anymore because it will give off the wrong impression to men dressing that way. Same with tops as far as her chest and stomach. I don't mean extreme stuff either. I mean if she has a shirt that touches her pants, but when she lifts up her arms it shows her stomach it is not allowed. I also really don't care how people choose to allow/not allow their children to dress, it is just that she was previously allowed to wear these things. She is also no longer allowed to hang out in her room alone, she has to hang out with her family in the living room.
Fast forward to a couple of months ago. Still BFF's. My daughter asked for Ruth to stay over. Of course, its fine with my husband and I. However, Ruth cannot stay over because it is now unfair that Ruth always stays at our house and my daughter never stays there. My daughter asked me if she could spend the night over there. She informed me that if she was not able to spend the night over there, then they wouldn't be able to hang out anymore. I figured it was just two teenagers making stuff up to be able to stay somewhere. I always used to do it when I was a kid...all kids do it. I asked my daughter if she wanted to stay there. She was upset, and said yes because if she doesn't then they won't be able to be friends. She said so if she has to do it to be friends with Ruth, then she will. My daughter does not even use public restrooms/school restrooms. The only place she will go to the restroom is at home. My husband and I talked it over and did not allow her to stay because of how he openly talks shit about our daughter, and if you've read above...its giving narcissist. We explained all of this to our daughter.
Later that night there is a knock on our door. Its Ruth mom and John. They asked if they could talk to us. John asked if we called him a pedophile. We didn't. We explain this. Convo continues. Not a heated convo just a normal convo. They continue to talk to let us know that they don't drink or anything but they are facing misdemeanor charges for fighting ANOTHER GIRLS PARENTS in the 8th grade class at a Poker Run for a fundraiser a few months ago but it wasn't their fault. Then John asks if I bought Ruth a tanktop recently. It was a spaghetti strap. John tells my husband and I "Ruth isn't allowed to wear those because soon they will be freshman in highschool and ALL of the seniors have a bet to see how many freshman they can fuck and the ones dressed like that will be the easiest targets" Blood boils . I informed John politely but sternly that girls should not have to worry about how they are dressed, parents should be teaching the BOYS how to behave properly and obtain consent. John also defended a sex offender that was charged for molesting a girlfriends daughter who is disabled and cannot speak or talk for herself. John defended him and said technically she WASNT a minor and he is a good guy. Idc about sex offenders and I do believe in rehabilitation but a crime is a crime. Long convo. Basically chit chatting about our kids. It ended with them telling us that our daughter is always welcome to stay and we said thanks and they left.
Now, Ruth is no longer allowed to hang out with my daughter. Ruth has to ride the bus and cannot get rides home with us because its US. They are not allowed at the park together. She's not allowed here. This is per John and Ruth's mom. They had graduation and Ruth had to make sure John didn't catch her talking to me.
I obviously want my daughter to be happy. She has not given me an attitude about any of this. She has gotten upset and cried and just told me that she would do it if she had to because she doesn't want to lose her friend. She wants to have a good summer but John gives me the CREEPS and narcissist vibes. I also feel like its a control thing for him?
Plz be nice. I'll cry if I'm TA. lol

WARNING : This gets deep into the future.
I've begun to worry to the point where I cannot function entirely. Sure, I can get through the day and appear ' calm '. But I am not. I can't enjoy anything at all. I'm so scared of losing everything I love. I'm scared of that happening to others too. I quest¡on things a lot, so as a result I try and find answers and solutions..but it doesn't always work. Often times I end up questioning even further.
For example, I could be questioning how humans can slow down reverse the aging process. Then how long that could take before it is accessible to people. And then I would start questioning if humans are able to evacuate Earth, assuming time could be limited. I did a bit of searching and if it's accurate { please correct me if not }, the planet has a billion years or so. PLENTY of time to prepare, right ? Of course it is. Humans have and can achieve so much in merely a fraction of such timeframe. But I'm scared we won't. A lot of people are too busy enabling gen0cide, exploitation, etc. Of course not everyone will be a good person, but it shouldn't be THIS horrific either. We could be focusing on so many better things. It irritates me that some people just choose to be cruel instead.
Another problem is I don't always think with words, rather with pictures. Because of this it can be difficult to express my concerns. I get worried that nothing I say will make sense regardless of how it is phrased. I'm spending all of this time thinking of hypothetical situations in the future, and it making me miss out on living in the present. I'm stupid and trying to figure EVERYTHING out. Even though I know I can't. And even if I understand that doesn't automatically result in disaster either. I will admit I am an impatient person, so that could definitely contribute in some way. I do want to work on that too. I'm missing out because I cannot ' go back to normal ' until I have found answers that will soothe my worries.
Even as I am writing this, it is difficult to express myself because I'm scared of triggering even deeper fears. I know I have to confront these fears but it's so fucking hard. Usually I get through it on my own..but I don't know if I can this time. I am sorry if this is being unrealistic. I just want the best for everyone. I want to be okay. I want others to be okay too. I'm scared for us. My heart aches for us. I love us.
Thank you for your time.

New to town and looking to make friends (35 M)
Also looking to meet a nice woman. The apps only go so far, what’s the best way to meet people and singles in this area?

This happened when I was about 14, so a good few years ago.
I was at the park with my best friend (guy) when I started to get catcalled by some random boys I didn't know. Feeling uncomfortable, I told my mother about it later and she said, to my face,
"I could tell that you enjoyed the attention."
Before preceding to talk to me about improving my appearance so I could get more "compliments" like that. I had never felt more disgusted and violated then in that moment.
I think one, she was trying to convince me I wasn't a lesbian and that I do like boys; and two, that I should improve my appearance like wearing makeup to church every Sunday and taking better care of my hair.
This wasn't the first or only time this happened either. This happened all the time at school, in public, and church was the worst. I was always told it was because they liked me, but I felt like they were making fun of my weight. Every time this happened nobody ever bothered to tell the boys to leave me alone, all they told me was to ignore them. Or even sometimes they comment on by dress, saying that the collarbone is a little too revealing. The worst was when I caught an eighty-something old dude (who I remember would always stare at me and the other girls) staring at me during church one time before I realized two of my front buttons popped off revealing my bra. I was fucking crying and so ashamed and embarrassed for the longest time and blaming myself for my big boobs and always wearing sports bras after that to make them look smaller. I was fifteen.
If someone ever you to tell me that women are not oppressed in the church or that men are taught to respect women, show them this post or any of the countless other stories from other victims. Because this cult teaches men to be fucking foul, and sometimes they go along with it.

I want to start off apologizing for the grammar mistakes and unorganized thoughts that will soon occur.
What do I do knowing my boyfriend is comparing me to other girls? For context, I (22F) and my boyfriend (21M) have been together for almost a year now (in a week). We met online and instantly connected. I was going to school in another state so we did long distance for most of our relationship until he moved in with me. Now we both live together in a studio with two cats (one we got together).
Our relationship has been good, the typical ups and downs but we usually get over it. We both struggle with being extremely insecure but he definitely externalizes it while I internalize it. Most of our issues stem from his retroactive jealousy and him feeling very insecure. I try my best to reassure him but a lot of times he doesn’t believe me. I struggle with comparing myself to others especially looks wise. I have seen the type of influencer and people that he’s attracted to (early into the relationship)and I am in no way shape or form close to looking like that which made me more insecure in our relationship. He does reassure me that I am the prettiest girl and whatnot but because of my insecurities I have trouble believing that. I have voiced this to him especially in regards to social media.
I really don’t want to air out his business but I think it is essential to the story. He claims himself to be a loser since he works a minimum wage job and feels that he doesn’t do much to support me. I recently just graduated with my BSN and my BA and have quite the future ahead of me and he has told me he is very jealous of that since he isn’t a school person. I was given lots of scholarships which I used to pay for a lot of our stuff because I know he struggles with money since he has to pay for his car and insurance and whatnot. I really don’t mind this but he really hates that I pay for a lot of our stuff. He voiced to me that he hates that he isn’t able to provide for me like I have for him. He said he resents me for being “perfect” as most of our problems have stemmed from him and not me. He struggles to believe that a girl like me could love him and questions my love for him which brings us to a few days ago.
Just a few days ago, he confessed that he looks at other girls on his suggested or people you may know on instagram and compares me to them. He said that he imagined what it would be like to be with them and how they would feel about him. He admitted to doing this for a month. I asked him if he found these people attractive and he said yes. It hurt me so bad. I asked him if he has done it with me in the room and he also said yes. It hurts me that he claims to love me so much and that I am the girl he wants to marry but then he does this. I don’t know why these girls being “normal” people affects me so much and could be people he potentially knows.
From his perspective, he doesn’t know why he did this. He still claims that he loves me so much and that he wants to marry me and only sees a future with me. Through his comparisons he realize that I love him for who he is, and that he thinks I am the only one who would/will. He said he did it because he is so insecure and thinks that I will just leave him so he imagines being with other people. He also just didn’t believe that I love him. I asked him why he just didn’t come to me for reassurance and he doesn’t have an answer. He is begging me to stay with him and says that he will do anything to earn my trust back. I just don’t understand why he did this and if he’s being honest with his reasoning.
I want to more than anything try and work this out but it hurts so much and I don’t know why. I am trying to find reasons to justify this or blame myself for doing something wrong or not being enough. I just don’t understand why and I can’t bring myself to believe that someone who loves me so much would do that. I think maybe this is normal but this is something I would never do. We are on the verge of a break up and i don't know how to feel. I don’t know if this is something I can get over easily. I feel more insecure than I have ever felt in my life. Every time I look at him or think of the situation I just cry. He has left the decision to me to whether we stay together or break up. I leave for my trip to Asia in a few days and will be gone for 3 weeks. I don’t know how to work this out if we’re long distance again with a time difference, how to trust him, how to feel good about myself, and not overthink. I don’t want to throw away this relationship because the thought of us not together also hurts. On the other hand, if we do break up this is the perfect time as he would have three weeks to pack and move without us having to interact much.
I really don’t know what to do. I really want to stay and work on it because I do think that he is being genuine in what he is saying but I don’t know how to get over this and trust him fully. What should I do?

I'm a first-year apprentice who did 10 months at an exterior panel company and I quite liked the work. As work on the building wrapped up, I was laid off and so I called my BA to get me more work. He found me a spot at a concrete company and I worked 2 weeks and 3 days before being laid off for "talking back" to my foreman.
Before I detail those interactions, I want to state that I understand that foremen are not here to baby me or be my friend. I get that. The two bosses I had at the panel company seemed like they were always in a bad mood and only capable of shouting aggressively to get a point across. I took it as par for the course and just tried to learn as much as I could and try to be an asset not a liability to the crew.
That said, this concrete foreman had a habit of yelling nasty things and calling people "dipshit motherfucker" and "ignorant fuck" all day long. At the panel company, the bosses would ruthlessly attack what you did and how fast/slow you did it, but they almost never attacked the carpenter. So this was new to me. And mr. concrete didn't say these things in a ball-busting way. I have 3 older brothers and uncles in the trades. I know what ball-busting is. I also heard from pretty much all the laborers and a handful of the carpenters that the foreman was a terror. Only 2-3 of the carpenters said "ha, you get used to it, he's a great guy, really."
One the first occasion where I talked back, the foreman gave improper directions, scolded me when I responded to those, and then I aggressively yelled that his initial instructions were wrong and I was just doing what he said. The second and last time I yelled and cursed back was when he gave vague instructions and scolded me when I didn't immediately do exactly what he wanted. So I did what I understood from his instructions and then asked what the fuck he wanted next. (All of this was him on the ground and me alone on a boom lift btw.) After we stripped the column with the crane, I came down and he said
Him: "You know, you can't talk back to me. That's not how this works." Me: "When you talk to people like they're dogs, are you really surprised when some of them talk back?" Him: "Yes. How hard is it to understand instructions the first time they're given? (silence) That's a question, you got an answer?" Me: "No." Him: "So you want me to give your check? Cuz I don't give a shit." Me: "It's up to you."
I meant that last line to mean, "either talk to me like a human or fire me. It's one or the other." Sure enough, he gave me my paycheck for the week an hour before EOD and I left.
Am I to expect that foremen want to work with spineless pushovers who just take verbal abuse all day? "That's not how this works" to me sounds like "I, the mighty foreman, am supposed to have all the power and you're supposed to bend over and take it." I don't like that shit. Is this going to get me fired a lot?
Could I have handled this better?
Am I an asshole who's trying to make waves and prove a point? Or a naive idealist who believes that apprentices should be spoken to like human beings?

Hello all,
I'm currently a SE for a hardware/software company in the security industry. I've already completed HR, Hiring Manger, Demo presentation and have a final in-person multi-stage interview for a SaaS. I'm a bit nervous but confident, I'm not sure what to expect as I've only worked for my current company.
There are 4 sessions with different parties. The first is a Sales Team/Peer interview. I've prepped some questions around deals, deal structuring and sales methods for this section. I'm also going to prepare to talk about some of my best and worst deals as well as difficulties in overcoming the sales challenges and getting the signature.
The second part, is a technical interview with a SWE. For this one, I'm going to prepare some of my more technical projects as well as prepare to answer technical questions about products I have supported. I think I'm going to ask some specific questions about the SaaS company's product and ask for best use-cases.
The third part is with the CEO.. I'm not quite sure what sort of questions to ask here but I believe it would be somewhere along the lines of their vision for the company, how they will lead the company to that goal and what the long term goal of the company is.
The final interview is with VP of Sales Growth. I believe this would be also somewhat similar to the previous sales interview but are there any specific questions I should ask?
I'm very excited about this opportunity and am trying to set myself up the best shot at a position at this company, I don't have many friends in the tech world and even less in Pre-sales so I can't really discuss this face to face with anybody I know.
If anyone has any advice, questions or any general information that you think would help me, I would very much appreciate it if you could share with me and salesengineers
Thank you very much for your insight.

so for context, me and my best friend have been friends for about 2 years now. as soon as we met we became instantly close and most people see us as one at this point because of how much time we spend together. recently though she has been doing/saying things that make me not want to be her best friend anymore. She has always had a bit of an issue with drugs. she can’t really go on a night out without touching cocaine. I am at a point in my life where i don’t want to be around that nor be around her when she’s having an awful comedown tbh. I’ve been seeing this guy for a few weeks, it’s still pretty fresh and we all went out last weekend. His friends left early so it ended up just being me him and her. she asked him if he wanted to get drugs with her and when she did they were taking it throughout the night. i rly didn’t like the person she became. Never letting me get a word in. constantly trying to talk to him every-time i would. i even noticed that they were being quite playful together. not necessarily in a flirty way but just kind of teasing and i thought to myself would i be doing this with a guy she was seeing? no. Since then she has been taking a bit of an interest in asking me about him, What he’s been saying to me ect. all whilst saying she’s never the type of girl that would be sneaky like that. i thought that up until now… We were at an after party and Him and I had left for 10 minutes to speak alone. the next day she asked me “were yous just kissing when you left with him or did anything else happen”. which i thought was strange. Now i don’t know if there’s any future with me and this guy but it’s the principle that i introduce her to someone i’m interested in and she turns into a different person. When we were at the after party she completely embarrassed me in front of him by taking far too much drugs , passing out, being sick and could barely string a sentence together so most of the night i was mothering her.
There has been other things recently like saying that i hadn’t shaved my legs in a while to him and making blatant mean comments to me when it’s just us. like “you have no boobs” or when i showed her a gym pic saying i looked like i was gaining muscle in my arms she responded with well you don’t have any.
Recently i have seen a complete different side to her that i rly don’t like. She always passes the snarky comments as jokes but i’ve told her she’s being too harsh then she still proceeds to make them. I’ve been backing off the past few days and she keeps on getting clingier asking me what is wrong and why i’m being distant but i don’t know what the hell to say to her without her going ape shit that i’m thinking of ending our friendship. Any tips?
TL/DR- My best friend has been making snarky comments and taking a bit too much of an interest in the guy i’m speaking to. I don’t know if i want to be her best friend anymore.