TW! Suicide
HELP!! Ever since i was 7-8 I have had anxiety, though every year it gets worse and worse. Im at the point where i never go outside and lay in bed all day, rotting away. I have done this for maybe 4 years, though the past 2 years i legit haven’t went outside at all, where as before i would maybe go to the store with my mom or something. I was even homeschooled due to my anxiety. The most embarrassing part is that its all because of the fact that i have to fart/poop when i am anxious. Knowing this, i get even more anxious. Its a snowball effect.
When i did go to school, i would cry and beg my mother to not make me go because of the fact that i would constantly have to fart during class. I never did, i would just hold it in. Even when i did so, my stomach would make loud growling noises that i swear the entire class could hear but idk if they did. When i was finally homeschooled, i stayed inside because i was afraid of having to fart. Yes, even around my family.
But after some traumatic events this anxiety has caused which i cannot go into detail abt, i never want to leave my bed again. Unfortunately, my family is broke and we can’t afford to live in our trailer anymore so we are getting kicked out. My mother can’t afford to buy a home and we don’t wanna keep getting kicked out of homes because we can’t afford rent. So, she decided on getting a camperv for all of us to live in. I thought this trailer was bad, but i cannot imagine having to live in an rv with my family. I get bad anxiety thinking about it, and as im typing i am shaking.
I know i am dramatic for being so afraid of these things, especially around my family, but i don’t think i have any control over it. I just don’t know what i am gonna do. All my life i’ve felt hopeless and isolated from the world. I have even gone so far as to considering suicide multiple times when at my limit. Im just so tired. I don’t wanna live this way, but i am too afraid to get out of my comfort zone or tell anyone.
Im only 15 and i have had no childhood. Its just been me on my device in bed all day long. I don’t even remember anything due to my anxiety sometimes, like most of my childhood. My mom tells me she wishes the old me before my anxiety, though i dont remember it. I wish i could live life like a normal person and not like a freak with my stupid anxiety. Rn all i know i can do to prepare to move into the rv is to not eat which i haven’t for 2 days so far. I am so afraid of getting a stomach ache or diarrhea, especially in a car. I haven’t even been in a car for years, but every time i was in one it would be a terrible experience.
Im writing this to maybe get some reassurance or tips, and to get it off my chest as i am having a mental breakdown. I read some others having a similar issues on here, so i got a bit of courage to share my own story. Srry its long.

TW! Suicide
HELP!! Ever since i was 7-8 I have had anxiety, though every year it gets worse and worse. Im at the point where i never go outside and lay in bed all day, rotting away. I have done this for maybe 4 years, though the past 2 years i legit haven’t went outside at all, where as before i would maybe go to the store with my mom or something. I was even homeschooled due to my anxiety. The most embarrassing part is that its all because of the fact that i have to fart/poop when i am anxious. Knowing this, i get even more anxious. Its a snowball effect.
When i did go to school, i would cry and beg my mother to not make me go because of the fact that i would constantly have to fart during class. I never did, i would just hold it in. Even when i did so, my stomach would make loud growling noises that i swear the entire class could hear but idk if they did. When i was finally homeschooled, i stayed inside because i was afraid of having to fart. Yes, even around my family.
But after some traumatic events this anxiety has caused which i cannot go into detail abt, i never want to leave my bed again. Unfortunately, my family is broke and we can’t afford to live in our trailer anymore so we are getting kicked out. My mother can’t afford to buy a home and we don’t wanna keep getting kicked out of homes because we can’t afford rent. So, she decided on getting a camperv for all of us to live in. I thought this trailer was bad, but i cannot imagine having to live in an rv with my family. I get bad anxiety thinking about it, and as im typing i am shaking.
I know i am dramatic for being so afraid of these things, especially around my family, but i don’t think i have any control over it. I just don’t know what i am gonna do. All my life i’ve felt hopeless and isolated from the world. I have even gone so far as to considering suicide multiple times when at my limit. Im just so tired. I don’t wanna live this way, but i am too afraid to get out of my comfort zone or tell anyone.
Im only 15 and i have had no childhood. Its just been me on my device in bed all day long. I don’t even remember anything due to my anxiety sometimes, like most of my childhood. My mom tells me she wishes the old me before my anxiety, though i dont remember it. I wish i could live life like a normal person and not like a freak with my stupid anxiety. Rn all i know i can do to prepare to move into the rv is to not eat which i haven’t for 2 days so far. I am so afraid of getting a stomach ache or diarrhea, especially in a car. I haven’t even been in a car for years, but every time i was in one it would be a terrible experience.
Im writing this to maybe get some reassurance or tips, and to get it off my chest as i am having a mental breakdown. I read some others having a similar issues on here, so i got a bit of courage to share my own story. Srry its long.

I have a 2015 Ram 1500 5.7 Hemi Crew Cab. I just got it detailed and as I was driving it home I got a "Service Shifter" message and couldn't engage D, R, N after getting it in park.
I towed it home and now it shifts fine after sitting, but the ABS, Park Brake, EBS, and Trailer Brake alarms and lights are all going off on start up.
Any ideas on where to start looking? Fuses and visible wires seem fine. I've looked under the front seats and under dash.

Heartbreak.
That’s what got me, well, out of my funk. In a sense, at least. I was in a rut. Knew it. She did too. Guess we were in a rut, really. Ran its course. Doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt like hell, but, well, sometimes stories end, you know?
So I did my piece. Curled up into the fetal position and fucking bawled. Days went by. Go to work. Go home. A zombie. Drank a lot more. But time wore down the edges eventually. And one day, I said “fuck it.” Packed my car, quit my job, and fucked off across the country. That was the plan anyway. Heading home. Maybe with my tail between my legs. I wasn’t sure.
It was a long drive. From the West Coast to the depths of the Midwest. From the shimmering, golden shores to undulating, aureate waves of grain. Radio stations fading in and out. Long stretches of static. Data dropping fucking everywhere. Sometimes I twisted through the AM band. Hellfire and brimstone. Vast conspiracies that always lacked imagination. What happened the fun stuff? Lizard people. Time travelers. Area 51. Not anymore. Everything’s a fucking angle. Propaganda. Switch it off.
I took a long way. Choosing county routes over the interstate. I had time to kill, so why not? Might as well see some of this country. The back parts. Dark parts. Quiet parts. Flyover parts. The “you don’t see anyone other than the locals and lost” and kinda parts. And I guess I was lost, right? In a sense. Though, I was hoping I wouldn’t become physically so. God knows I didn’t need to slip through the cracks of the Earth somewhere out near Kearney, Nebraska.
But things did get strange–shouldn’t that be expected out in these less-traveled places, though?--somewhere around Sheldon, South Dakota. I was at a rest stop, pulled over for a break, trying to get the last Clif bar to break free of the piece of shit vending machine, when I saw a black semi roll up.
Now, when I saw black, I mean completely. Utterly. Entirely. A pitch black cab with tinted black windows pulling a matching black trailer. Even the rims were black. It stood out like a oozing sludge against the golden, baked landscape. I stood there, by the vending machine, waiting for a while to see who would emerge. Of course I was curious. BUt…no one did. It just sat there–this beast of a vehicle–idling. I figured the driver must have been pulling over to take a nap or to call it quits from his shift–they can only drive so long, right? But you’d think they’d want to step out and stretch their legs.
Eventually, I managed to hit the plastic of the machine just right to free my Clif bar. I tore it open, took a bite, and returned to my car. Back on the road. I had places to be.
It was strange, though. I kept seeing the black truck after that. It passed me–somehow–on the highway a few dozen miles from the rest stop. But I caught up, a few miles outside of Sioux City. I passed right alongside it, my eyes straining to see who was driving. Naturally, the windows were tinted too and I couldn’t see a damn thing. I just couldn’t put it out of my mind. Such an odd sight. This big, beastly, pitch black truck barreling across the dull Midwest. It didn’t even have any markings. No company logo. No indication of what it was delivering, who it belonged to, or where it might be going. Well, it did have plates. Washington. But there was no way to know where it originated from.
After passing by it and getting through Blue Earth, I saw it again at a rundown motel. The Cozy Inn. I had pulled off a few hours earlier, deciding to spend the night. I was exhausted, had pulled a 10 hour day and could barely keep my eyes open. The clerk put me up in some grimy room that looked like the set of more than one true crime series. Stained sheets. Peeling wallpaper. A bathroom sink more inclined to spit out brown gunk than drinkable water.
My window faced the parking lot. I sat up for a while, curtains drawn, vaguely watching the television–playing one of those trashy true crime shows I feared I might end up on–and the parking lot. Cars occasionally came and went. I saw some of my neighbors, who looked mostly like travelers or perhaps vagrants. While a police officer was detailing a particularly gruesome scene on Murder Comes Home, I saw the black semi roll into the parking lot.
Once again, it sat there idling, headlights blazing through my window. I grew irritated. I almost got up to go outside. As I was contemplating the possible dangers of such a decision, a woman approached the monstrous truck. She looked beautiful in a miserable way, with a short fluorescent pink skirt and heels too high for the pock-marked parking lot.
She opened the passenger side door and climbed in, disappearing into the tinted darkness. The headlights went off and for a while I watched, silence save for the exploitative program murmuring in the background:
Her limbs were buried in separate spots along the roadside ditch…
My heart–broken though it was–thumped in my throat.
Her head was never recovered…
I walked outside, suddenly very concerned. I stood on the pavement in my shorts and t-shirt, facing the truck, no idea what I might do.
The door opened.
The woman stepped out.
Blood was running down her neck.
I ran up to her, “Miss, hey, Miss, are you okay?! You’re bleeding. Should I call an ambulance?” I was frantic, my eyes darting between the blood on her neck, trying to ascertain the source and the thumping truck.
“Oh, I’m fine. Just swell. Fucking grand.” Her voice was dreamy. Her eyes were glazed over as though she was in a daze.
I grabbed her arm, “I really don’t think you’re–”
She suddenly became more cogent, grasping my hand, “You don’t wanna get fucking involve in this, kid.”
I thought that was an odd thing to say–she was younger than me.
“I’m just trying to–” The headlights went on, illuminating us like a spotlight on a stage. The woman darted off, swaying as she did.
I stood there–stupid–not moving. All the lights in the parking lot went out and all I could hear was the engine idling. The driver’s side window rolled down. For a while–what seemed like an eternity, really–nothing happened. But then a hand emerged, casually, finger curling backwards, calling me over. And so I walked. What was I going to do? Be rude?
I couldn’t see inside the cab, but a voice emerged. It was deep, bone-shaking. It didn’t feel like it traveled through the air. More like it vibrated my eardrums, bouncing around my skull.
“You’re hurt.”
It took me a moment to gather myself, “Hurt?”
“Deeply. Wounded. Lost. Like a stray dog.”
I squeezed my hands together and could feel tears welling up in my eyes, “I’m just–”
“I can help.” The voice pushed inside me.
“You can?”
“Get in. Come take a little ride. You’ll feel better. Free. Happy. Complete.”
I stood in hesitation, my eyes on the hand, which was a deathly pale. It was almost translucent, but seemed so soft, gentle. I wanted to feel it on my cheek.
“Okay.”
I walked to the other side of the cab, pulled open the heavy metal door, and climbed into the plush, black seat. As soon as I pulled it shut I felt hands all over me. In my hair. On my neck. Roaming along my collarbones. Grasping my shoulders. I couldn’tj tell how many. Four? Six? Eight? Soft and gentle and cold.
I closed my eyes. I sank into the darkness. The headlights went out as the cab rumbled, pulling back onto the deserted county route.
And I felt good. So good.
Now, I don’t feel anything at all. Not scared or sad or hurt or lost. I’m found. Just like you could be found. So if you ever see a pitch black semi rolling along the highway, think about flagging it down.
And then, like me, you’ll never have to die

I know the trailer was a few days ago which definitely got me excited and hyped but now I just want to see the gameplay as well more details with the features they added and lastly the menu ui.

This is about how I wanted TrackMania to become more popular and mainstream

I'm not speaking for everyone here, but I wanted Nadeo to focus on launching a new game with a strong marketing strategy rather than focusing to continuing updating TrackMania 2020.
I'm not hating on TM2020, in fact I'm happy that TM2020 still has a dedicated fan base and continues to receive updates and support from its developers. But did you know TM2020 used to lack popularity when it was first announced?
Why TM2020 is not popular in the first place?
When TM2020 first announced, only most TM community knew about it, barely anyone outside heard of this game (The views in the trailer of TM2020 speaks for itself), this means the game barely had any marketing or promotion at all. Not to mention it adds controversies among players in the TM community. Though ofc there are some excitements, but we will discuss what had happened to TM2020 when its first announced:
The Subscription model controversy
The biggest talking point surrounding the release was NADEO decision to adopt a subscription-based model, which required players to pay a 10$/year to access new content and features. I Myself have no problem with the subscription due to how ridiculously low the prices are, but the thing is that if people found out that the game use Subscription-based model, they will blindly hate the game and won't looking to deep further which means even if how low the prices are they are not going to care about it because at its core it's still a Subscription game.
TM2020 got popular thanks to YouTube and Twitch, I see no problem here
Of course, they helped the game to increase awareness and generate excitement around TM2020 the most. Most new players know about this game thanks to Youtubers like Wirtual, Scrapie, Spammiej,... But did you notice that TM2020 only gets most amount of attention from old TM YTbers and not those popular YTbers like PewDiePie, Jacksepticeye, VanossGaming,... Then what if I say that people who watch those TM YTbers often stayed for their content and not play the game for themselves (Yes they said they don't like racing games and stayed for the content but still majority of them didn't bother playing TM2020 which is of course the Subscription model). That said it did give TMNF more attention and alot of people who were introduced to TM usually play TMNF first.
What was your idea for a new TM game?

TrackMania 2 (2026)

• Free-to-Play Model. Before any of you ignorant straight up threaten me without reading the text below, please LISTEN FIRST. This actually brings more Accessibility and larger player base because its free, and also this is the one that gives the company the most profit so they could sustain ongoing development and updates through microtransactions, this ensures the game remains fresh and engaging over time. Free-to-play games are more likely to be shared and recommended by players to their friends and social networks due to their accessibility and low barrier to entry so they can contribute to TM2's popularity and growth over time. And I know that you are concern about Pay-to-win mechanics but judging how NADEO lower their prices for their subscription model. I can safely say that NADEO would most likely carefully making a balance between monetization and player experience so they can create a positive and sustainable free-to-play game.
• Featured all of 4 environments and vehicles from old TM2. but with redesign to match with modern look of TM2020. Even though TM2 cars are pretty drivable, they need to be revamped because of the *features* in transitions between terrains. TM2 cars (excluding stadium) have a problem with entering other surfaces that if you try to steer while you are on between the 2 surfaces, your car will snap and lose control of your car immediately, especially going from drift to grip.
• Integrate ManiaExchange to TrackMania 2. This is fairly simple yet effective idea which is to make it easier and faster for players to find a new or good map right inside the game without having to open a browser or through ManiaExchange Plugin.
• Customize your car like NFS or Forza. If NADEO wanted to ban custom 3d cars, then they need to add car customization parts to their car like adding different types of body kits, spoiler and hood without affecting the gameplay too much.
• Add ShootMania as a separate gamemode. I know this sound funny, but I think it's a pretty cool idea to add SM to TM2 so to add more variety and probably gain some attention from FPS gamers.
• A proper tutorial for beginners. The Tutorial Campaign in TM2020 was mostly just bare bones of what the game has to offer without teaching the mechanics of the Stadium Car and what do those surfaces do, you have to figured it all by yourself or from a YTber.
• Cross-platform availability. Consider making the game available on multiple platforms (PS5, XBOX, PC) at launch with build-in Openplanet on consoles as to provide a consistent experience for players regardless of their preferred platform.
• Improve marketing and promotion. Invest in targeted marketing campaigns across various channels, including social media, gaming websites, and streaming platforms. Highlight the unique features of TrackMania 2, such as its amazing track editor, competitive gameplay, and vibrant community.

That's all for now, if you have any more ideas that could be put into TrackMania 2 I'm happy to hear it. That said if you have criticism or concerns, please provide it in detail.

After the release of *Muv-Luv Unlimited* and before the announcement of *Muv-Luv Alternative*, the phrase "Our battle has only just begun" became a sentiment that resonated strongly within the fan community. This phrase encapsulated the collective anticipation and speculation about the unresolved plotlines and character arcs introduced in *Unlimited*. Fans were left with a cliffhanger and numerous questions about the fate of the characters and the larger story, which fueled extensive discussions and theories about what could come next.
The *Muv-Luv* series, especially *Unlimited*, ended on a note that clearly indicated there was much more to the story. Takeru Shirogane, the protagonist, was still grappling with the realities of the alternate world, the BETA threat was still looming large, and many personal and narrative arcs were left open. This open-ended conclusion was a deliberate choice by Kōki Yoshimune, the creator, to set up for a more expansive continuation in *Muv-Luv Alternative*.
During this interim period, fans engaged in a lot of speculation and discussion about the future of the series. They analyzed every detail from the games, shared theories on forums, and eagerly awaited any official news or hints about the sequel. Yoshimune’s interviews and public statements often hinted at more to come without giving explicit details, which only heightened the anticipation. The release of the *Muv-Luv Supplement* fandisc in 2004, which included additional content and a trailer for *Alternative*, further confirmed that the story was indeed far from over and provided some relief to the eager fanbase.
The phrase "Our battle has only just begun" thus became a rallying cry among fans, symbolizing both their frustration with the unresolved storyline and their hope and excitement for the continuation. This period of waiting and speculating helped to build a strong, engaged community that was ready and eager for *Muv-Luv Alternative* when it was finally announced.
For a more detailed look into this period and the community's response, various fan forums and archived discussions can provide a wealth of insights into the collective sentiment and expectations of the fans during this time

Hello, I live in the U.S. I’m a 30 year old male and just found out I’m having a child and I’m panicking a bit about how far behind I am in life. I should have my A.S. In Supply chain management in May of next year. I’m aiming for a higher paying job related to supply chain or inventory. Any suggestions would help.

Link to trailer
Welcome to FireEmblemHeroes’s official banner hype thread!
People are eager to express their opinions on any new banner trailer that releases, and that's great! However, /new/ can get pretty crowded when there are 10 people fawning over the newest banner. Due to this, we create megathreads for each banner trailer - Salt and Hype. Until the Banner is live in-game, all hype fueled threads should be redirected here, so report any if you see them outside.
Share your excitement for the new banner here, even if it's just a small detail! This probably isn’t necessary to say, but please remain civil towards other Summoners, and enjoy!
Weekly/Important Megathreads:
Weekly Discussion Megathread

Platform(s): Xbox and/or playstation, but I do not know which generation.
Genre: First person, I think also a shooter.
Estimated year of release: Between 2018 and 2022, I think.
Graphics/art style: Realistic, post-apocalyptic environment. Dark, shadowy environment. Kind of a S.T.A.L.K.E.R or Metro vibe.
Notable characters:
Notable gameplay mechanics: Some of the enemies seemed to be supernatural, sometimes hard to detect monsters.
Other details: I'm looking for a game a once saw a trailer for. In the trailer, a group of around 5 men that seemed to be guarding the area are attacked by some supernatural, monstrous creature(s).
I remember much of the fight was seen through the point of view of one of the men being attacked. Towards the end of the trailer, this character kills one of the attacking monsters with a knife. In the next instant, the attacking monster's appearance changes to be one of the attacked men, making it seem as if the point of view character killed his companions.
edit: When I first started looking for this game, I thought it may have been one of the S.T.A.L.K.E.R or Metro games, none of the trailers for those games are the one I remember.

Hey all! So I wanted to give a part two since I'm not high now lol, and also I wanted to clear up some things and add in some other details I left out that I just remembered. If you haven't seen the first part of this post then I suggest going to that, otherwise you'll be very confused. Also, I forgot to add this in my first post but DON'T READ if triggered by certain topics like r*ape, SA, murder, abuse, etc. Another thing is, this post is going to be a lot darker and aside from talking about what happened, I'm also looking for advice on my mental state and how to cope. So please read with caution because I'm going to be talking about what happened with B, but also about my past before him and how what happened is affecting my past trauma.
So, I'm not going to retell the whole story but I am going to be bringing up a lot of parts from it and things I didn't realize until after the incident happened. And some of the things I didn't think of until my friend brought it up. So in my first post, I was talking about how B (26M) was REALLY into Jeffrey Dahmer. Well, in the show we watched with Evan Peters, I noticed a lot of things Jeffrey did as well as already knowing a lot about him before watching it. I noticed that B was doing a lot of things similar to him. Now, I forgot to add in this part last time, but B was really 'straight phobic.' Now I'm a bi transman but I don't hate cis / straight people. In fact, a lot of my friends are cis and in straight relationships. For some reason though, he did, to a weird extent. And even though he was being respectful in the beginning, I'm starting to get a feeling he wasn't actually gay or cared about trans people. Because it seems as though ALL of his former partners were transmen. Which isn't that weird I guess, and he did tell me he tried dating a cis man before but it didn't work. After I met him in person he was telling me that he really liked his trans partners to still have sex vaginally and he liked tits. So, I was kind of confused at that. I think what was really going on was that he isn't gay but wanted to be so he could be like Jeffrey Dahmer. I know it's a bit of a stretch, but you'll see why later. So another thing is, Jeffrey would always ask his potential victims to go back to his place for drinks and to take photos, particularly sexual ones. Jeffrey would then lace the drinks and go on to do weird things to his victims while taking their pictures. And while I was trapped at his place, B kept pushing alcohol on me, A LOT. So much so, that when I kept refusing he started getting angry. However, once I pretended to take a sip it was like his whole attitude changed. He also kept joking it was laced, like EVERYTIME he offered me some. Even though I didn't actually drink any, like I said in the first post, I still got a few drops on my lips and in my mouth. After that I started to get a headache and was a bit dizzy. Also, he had told me before that he liked to take pictures of his partners in sexual poses while they held his guns. Aside from the guns, that's EXACTLY WHAT JEFFREY WOULD DO. For some reason, I didn't piece any of this together until afterwards. I guess I was too shaken up to think clearly. I said this before as well, but when I first entered his house, it was pitch black and he had black out curtains on EVERY WINDOW in his house. His bedroom, living room, kitchen, I mean his whole house made it seem like it was night outside. Another thing that is eerily similar to Jeffrey, is that B told me before I met him in person he always liked dating someone younger. I, at the time, was nineteen and he was twenty five, about to turn twenty six. I honestly don't know what was wrong with me so have not seen the BIG RED FLAGS in the beginning, but he played it off so well I didn't even notice them until after everything happened. And it isn't like me to go for older guys, I usually try to go for someone two years older or younger than me, as I don't like have a huge age gap between me and my partner. Anyway though, Jeffrey always went for younger guys, as well as sometimes KIDS. So, that's another thing similar between them, as well as the fact that B told me he was into little brother play. Where he makes his partners act like a younger brother during sex, etc. He also told me he liked for his partners to SUCK ON BINKIES. BRUHHHH, no thanks bro, I'm good. See, if it was just one of these things that he liked / was into, then I guess it would be normal. Just a guy into a weird ass kink, but all these things combined just did not sit right with me as well as how he was acting. Now, I said in my other post that basically the ENTIRE TIME I was with him, he had a weird ass expression on his face that made me uncomfortable. I wish I could explain better, but it was like constipated / confused look, like Edward from Twilight when he does those weird facial expressions. His brows were always furrowed and he looked like he was uncomfortable / anxious the whole time. He was being super sketchy. His body language was just really off-putting and made me feel weird. And the thing he kept ranting about the most was how Jeffrey Dahmer was misunderstood and just needed someone to be there for him, and then maybe he wouldn't have killed people. The thing that scared me the most was how he said he felt the same way, that he wished he could just have someone not leave him and how he had trust issues after his former partners. Especially the one I mentioned in the last post, about how his ex partner before me snuck out in the middle of the night and got his family to come get him. His family lived across the country, so it had to have been pretty bad for his ex to call his parents and tell them to come get him. Because they drove across multiple different states to come pick him up in the middle of the night so he could sneak away. I have a major feeling that B left out a lot of their fight and why his ex actually left. Not to mention while I was with him, he watched every move I made and wouldn't let me get on my phone without him seeing what I was doing / texting to people. I have a feeling if he thought I was trying to leave him he would've done something bad. Just like Jeffrey. Jeffrey wouldn't always hurt his victims (Not at first anyway) it was always when they said they had to leave that he would get angry and force them to stay. So, idk man, I could've been killed or worse. Also, I know I said I could've been killed or worse, and some of you are probably thinking what's worse than being killed? Well, to me, a lot of things he could've done would have been worse. Especially if he was trying to be like Dahmer, then I could've gotten acid injected into my brain or been r*aped. Which is exactly what I think he was trying to do, with how much alcohol he was trying to push on me. He also kept 'petting' me and touching my thighs while he told me all the ways he'd kill me 'if he was a serial killer.' I genuinely think that something bad would've happened if I didn't have one HELL of an excuse to leave. Because honestly, my mom couldn't have given a better excuse for me to go that also sounded real and not like a lie. Because, like I said before, I had told him before I met him that my mother had health issues and was always in and out of the hospital, so it was perfect that she used that as an excuse. He got really cold and wasn't speaking to me when he heard my phone call and that I had to leave, but I think if I would've tried to leave without that excuse or by giving him an obvious lie, then I might not be here. I'm also super grateful to my best friends who let me come to their place and stay late instead of going home. Me and my best friend, basically my sister, have talked about this a lot since it happened and every time we do, we try to rationalize why someone would act like that, other than being an actual serial killer / r*pist. But we can never think of a reason besides the fact that he simply is what he seems like. A really unhinged person who could've hurt me badly. Also, this was my FIRST TRUE experience in online dating and I honestly think I'm never going to try that again. I've run into so many creeps trying to date online, AND in real life. Most people who aren't trans probably don't realize or know this, but there are a lot of men that want to do really weird and fucked up things to trans people because I guess they think we are some mutant or something, or 'the best of both worlds.' I've run into them a lot, and when I met B, I thought that was over. I thought I had met an actual good person who was educated on trans topics and was respectful of my boundaries and my body. Nope. Now I'm starting to think dating, at least where I live now, is almost impossible and I think I'm going to be alone for awhile. :') Not to mention, I'm now traumatized after what happened with B, and I already had trouble trusting men, and just people in general. Before meeting him I have already been SAed before, multiple times. I guess I'm simply asking for advice on how to move on from something like this. I was trying, and doing kind of ok, moving on from things that had happened before I met B, but now after what happened with him I feel like I'm back sliding and it's making me relive all my past traumas. I basically trust no one, when it comes to sexual things, besides my two best friends I've known since childhood. I tend to over sexualize everything, even things that aren't sexual at all, and get scared around ANYONE, even family members, who I know deep down don't see me like that. I was also abused as a kid and wasn't able to get out of it until I was eighteen, and I've only just turned twenty now, so it wasn't even until two years ago I was still being abused. I feel I've fallen into the dark again and my panic attacks have gotten worse again. I feel depressed and I didn't realize until recently that I'm suicidal again. I didn't realize it until recently, because when I was younger and suicidal, I knew I was. I've tried unaliving myself before so I didn't think about it because I don't feel that way now. It's different this time. Instead of my thoughts directly wanting me to pull out a gun and, ya know, this time it's more subtle and more of a subconscious action. Like closing my eyes for a few seconds while driving. Or intrusive thoughts about ramming head first into the car in the other lane. Or going hiking and thinking of what it would feel like to step off the cliff. I'm honestly just tired. I feel like every person I meet has some kind of ulterior motive, whatever it is. I'm working at a really nice job but it seems like every time I save up money and am doing good for my future, I have to use it on something unexpected that pops into my life. I'm living with my grandparents for now because they said they weren't going to charge me rent, and I'm super grateful for that, but even still I can't keep money and I kind of just don't see my future anymore. Both my parents were drug addicts, my mother to pain pills then xans after that, my father was mainly an alcoholic but also did meth, pills, and other things. It doesn't help because when I was younger, around my early teen years (13-16) I started smoking cigs when I was 12, then I started smoking weed, which I still do, but then it got worse and I've tried xans, snorting pills I didn't even know what they were, drinking, and I've even done shrooms and LSD. I've also had some really bad trips on LSD that made my severe panic disorder worse and after that I now disassociate a lot too and have trouble knowing if I'm in reality while having a panic attack. And after what happened with B, his house and the smell (Cigs and booze) just reminded me what it was like living with my parents in that crack house looking trailer. It's like my brain won't let me let go of the past and move on. It's like I'm constantly stuck there still. And aside from dating, it's also super hard to meet people as friends where I live. I love my two best friends, one of which has been with me since we were basically fetuses and her parents and mine were friends, so her parents were also abusive drug addicts. It's nice to have someone so close and how we can relate to what we went through. We joke that we were traumatized by our parents, but also by each other's parents as well lol. Even though I'm grateful for them, you never know what's going to happen in the future and I don't want to be solely dependent on them and be able to make new friends, but I just can't. I feel so alone, and my friend I grew up with has been moved out a lot longer than me and has had time to heal, and I don't wanna keep dumping my mental problems on her because it's unfair to her. I feel like I'm just bringing her back to our past with me. When I moved out, I completely cut ties with my father, I don't even like calling him that, as he was the first person to SA me and he is, in general, and evil person. I try to think that evil people don't exist, but then I think of him and I realize they do. My mom though, is a good person when she isn't on anything. Recently though, I blocked her and haven't talked to her in over a month because she OD again on xans and amphetamines. I kind of realized recently that she is almost as bad as my father, even though I never wanted to admit that to myself. Because when I was younger, I admitted to her that he had SAed me and she kept pressuring me to tell her what happened, like, IN DETAIL. I told her no because I didn't want to relive it and think about it, even now I have a lot of repressed memories. And because I wouldn't tell her EXACTLY what happened, she doesn't believe. I think she does, deep down, but she doesn't want it to be real. And after her OD last month, she tried telling me she didn't and that it was just her BLOOD PRESSURE. LIKE OH MY GOD BITCH, WHY DO YOU LIE? She must think I'm stupid or something. Before I blocked her, I cussed her out over text and said something like "Who do you think was the first person at the hospital? Not grandma, not your husband, ME. I've always been there for you first. Who do you think told me you had OD? The doctors when I first got there!" And she still denies it, even though when me and my friend got the hospital she was lying there naked (they had to cut her clothes off to save her) with a breathing tube stuck down her throat. I've tried helping her my whole life but apparently she doesn't want help. So now I've gotten tired of her BS and I blocked her and now my grandma is pressuring me to talking to her, luckily though, my grandpa went through something similar as a kid and understands how it is so he isn't guilt tripping me into talking with her. I'm just tired of having to put into traumatic situations. My mental health just keeps getting worse. Somehow, trauma always finds me and nowadays, it seems my only friends are my demons. It used to not be like this, but now even when I'm with my two closest friends, I still feel lonely. Like they are reminding me that when I leave my friends, I'm alone again. Anyway, I know this probably isn't the right subreddit for this, but I kind of just started ranting, sorry for that.
Also, to clear some things up, no I don't use drugs, not anymore. I've never really been an addict at all in my life, somehow. I just did drugs because I wanted to escape when I was younger, and thankfully I never got addicted to any of them. Not like you can get addicted to LSD or shrooms anyway. The only thing I've got addicted to was cigarettes, which rn, is the least of my concerns. And as for weed, I used to be a major stoner but it started making my panic attacks worse so I stopped for a few years, cold turkey, and only recently started smoking it again. So, I'm not worried about weed and if anything, it's been helping now. Especially since I don't smoke it nearly as much as I used to. So, for those worried about me being or getting on drugs, don't worry I'm fine. I have made a clear boundary for myself to never do anything besides smoking my cigs and weed. Cause I've seen how drugs affect my parents and others I've known and I've sworn to myself that I won't become them. It also sucks though because I see psychedelics as something that can help a lot of people with trauma, and the first shrooms trip I ever did changed my life for the better. Now though, after my bad LSD trip, I don't know if I can every do them again. Maybe one day, but not for the foreseeable furture. Again, sorry for going on a rant. I'll probably post this to another subreddit and see if anyone can help. I'm not looking for therapy as I don't have the money or health insurance. Just looking for someone who can relate that has been able to move past similar things and find happiness. If you've read this far, thank you. Like seriously, from the bottom of my heart. It means a lot to me that someone would read about another person's problems and life experience. I hope whoever is reading this is having a great day / night wherever you are, and are living your best life. And for those reading that are going through a similar situation right now and can't get out, I promise you aren't alone. I haven't really gotten better, so I can't say things get better, but I can say it DOES get easier. All I can say is, you aren't alone in it. There are others, like me, who know your pain. Keep living, it'll be worth it. Even though I'm not doing my best and my mental problems are still with me, that doesn't mean it's all been bad. I've made a lot of amazing memories after I moved out. Keep going.

Put the spoiler tag to be sure.
I realize Penacony's quest is yet to finish, and Acheron will most probably be explored further down the line as the story progresses even beyond Penacony, but I wanted to get this out just as I am feeling it (plus, I dare to say that we do have a big picture of who Acheron is by now, so I doubt something drastic will happen to change this, but only time can tell).
This sentiment originates from the direct parallel from her Genshin Impact counterpart: Raiden Shogun, or more specifically, Ei. I am not going to get into details regarding this character, that's not the point of discussion I want to convey here. What I wanted to point out is how this character has been a hot spot for controvery for three years within the Genshin community. And with her being my favorite character from that game, it just infuriates me how she has always been so "villainified" and misunderstood, taking all her negative attributes to hyperbolic extremes that make her out to be worse than she actually is. I guess I can only blame the writing for this. I would also try to add anything related to Raiden Mei from Honkai Impact, but I am not familiar with the game, and I do NOT speak about things I don't know.
But with Acheron, the atmosphere feels different, more positive even. And I guess it is also due to her writting. I cannot think of anything she has done that can be considered morally grey, or even bad. She has been one of the key people in freeing Penacony from Ena's dream. Everything that surrounds her just makes the audience respect her. She fought against millions of demons in a futile attempt to save her planet. She endured the, debatably, most dangerous Aeon the game has. She has taken upon herself the meaningless task of guiding the lost souls to rest. Her ultimate goal is to kill the very same being that made her life, and many other lost souls, a misery. She has also shown numerous times she never retorts to violent means if she can solve the issue without it (She has been taunted to fight by 6 people so far: Duke Inferno, Aventurine, Welt, Sam, the Dream Master and Boothill. Out of them, only two were struck down, because they wouldn't accept any other solution but to fight). Her presence even clashes with what we know of Self-Annihilators. Despite being close to becoming a shell of what she once was, and currently being an Emanator of Nihility no less, her view of what life is is actually very hopeful and warm. She is a hero and a warrior through and through, and I am happy to see that the general reception of her character seems to be a positive one.
The only thing I can think of that can make her look like a bad person is that if you got stuck into believing that what happened in the Rondo Across Countless Kalpas trailer was all literal. But I'd dare to say that you need to be too illiterate to not notice that it was mostly a metaphorical way of portraying the Nihility within herself, and what happens when anyone interacts too closely to what she went through, specially when that someone is a memetic entity of the Rememberance.
I know this may sound nonsensical, as they are different characters, so of course they are treated differently. You may be correct, I just found it curious that my favorite characters from both games turned out to be the "Raiden Mei" iteration of each game. So this is just the feeling of relief after seeing that "she" went from being hated and misunderstood endlessly for years, to being actually decently written, with a lot of positive traits that make her a very likeable character.
Was this post a stupid rant? Yes. Was it unnecessary? Possibly. But you could say that doing meaningless things is part of the beauty of Nihility.

My sister Rebecca Bumgardner was a youtube journalist who was exposing police corruption in Lowndes County Mississippi on her youtube channel "Lowndes County Accountability" https://youtube.com/@mississippiqueenaudits?si=HJa17BTgc7LZgv_3. She began her activism back in 2020 due to her being arrested for "talking" by Lowndes County sheriff's department. Please refer to her channel to watch the body cam footage as well as her own video footage of the same event titled "TYRANT ALERT!!! HELP!!!!! ARRESTED FOR TALKING!!!". She filed and personally delivered a formal complaint regarding this incident directly to sheriff Eddie Hawkins. She also video documented this particular event as well. Please also refer to her channel and see video footage titled "REBECCA HANDS COMPLAINT FORMS DIRECTLY TO SHERIFF EDDIE HAWKINS". To all of our (the family) knowledge there wasn't any investigation done into the matter nor was Rebecca ever contacted regarding an investigation to her complaints she had indeed filed with the department. She has documented denials of FOIA requests with the sheriff's department concerning this matter as well as other matters of even greater importance. Shortly after filing these complaints and continuing in her activism against police corruption my sister started noticing being followed by local sheriff's deputy vehicles. She was eventually pulled over for speeding which immediately turned into an illegal k9 search situation resulting in no drugs being found but Rebecca receiving minor traffic tickets. She also video documented that incident as well. Please refer to her channel and see video footage titled "K9, stupid cop ID refusal, 🤩🙂UPDATE: 5/10/2022 💥ALL CHARGES DISMISSED💥 LAWSUIT INCOMING". It wasn't long after that Sheriff Eddie Hawkins came to her residence, exited his personal vehicle and seemingly made a mental visual outlay of the place then attempted to leave without saying a word to anyone! I remember this in detail because she called me moments after he left to tell me how she went outside her home and introduced herself and got him to shake her hand before he left! Extremely odd behavior of a sheriff to appear at a little old trailer park for no reason we both thought until the unimaginable happened. On July 6th 2022 the Lowndes County sheriff's department staged a drug raid on my sister's home with no valid warrant and arrested her without an arrest warrant and charged her with sale of methamphetamine. Please refer to her channel to see the home surveillance footage and her account of that day. It is titled "RAID Footage 💥Lance Luckey, SHERIFF EDDIE HAWKINS is PACKET PHOTO editor🤣". My sister eventually was able to make bond on these false charges and she continued in her activism along with video documentation of all her encounters with any law enforcement as well as with anyone affiliated or employed by any local government offices she had to come in contact with to attempt to obtain all information on her new charges as well as information needed for her intended lawsuit against several local officials including the Lowndes County sheriff's department. Please refer to her channel to watch all the material as all of the video footage is relative to this story. While out on bond Rebecca continued to be harassed by local deputies and even falsely arrested again by the sting unit for failure to obey. She was video documenting this particular incident but her phone was stolen by deputies! She was able to obtain the body cam footage of only one certain officer via FOIA request once she bonded out but was never able to get her personal cell phone back. Please refer to her channel and see video footage titled "Illegally arrested for FTO by STING LCSO 662-328-6788". There is so much more to this story in between but I intended to make a short story out of a long ordeal. Look ya'll my sister was by no means perfect but she never sold methamphetamine. On May 26th 2023 my sister Rebecca Bumgardner was maliciously prosecuted and falsely convicted on not only one but three false counts of sale of methamphetamine and sentenced to 24 mandatory years in prison! She didn't receive a fair trial nor did she have adequate representation. Had she had either of those she would have beat those charges. I am currently working on obtaining other means of proving my sister has been falsely convicted and praying I don't end up there with her because of it! Please consider her story so we can help this not happen to the next person if nothing else. Thank u for ur time in reading this material.

Hi everyone, I'm considering buying a 1976 airstream lanyard for $7500 on monday that has no title. This is like all my savings so I'm really nervous about the title situation. We want to buy it to actually use it eventually, not just sit on our property.
Details: The details of the trailer sound and look great with good photos and the current owner recently towed it 200 miles from the property he owns and put on new tires. If it looks weird when I get there in person, I have no problem saying NO (messed up axels, frame issues etc.).
The trailer has no title, but has permanent Virginia Plates (seller and I are both located in VA). So obviously someone registered it at some point. The airstream has a VIN as well. Asking around to others in Virginia you can get an abandoned title if you have the DMV list the trailer for a set amount of time to see if its stolen (I guess if it is you're just S*** outa luck and lose the trailer I'd guess) or you can get a title that claims you built a tiny home and get a new VIN issued (making the airstream not technically have an airstream title at that point).
We really want an airstream to travel with our small family and are willing to spend money and time restoring it, but if it cant be registered for travel or we may have it taken back by a legitimate owner, thats a lot of risk. Is there anything I can do to ensure it isn't stolen or to reduce the risk here? Any advice is appreciated. Thanks,