I almost didn’t post this because my mom has been spying on my account. I need to share with someone though.. sorry it’s long.
In 2021, I had my first miscarriage. At my first ultrasound I was told baby didn’t have a heartbeat. A few weeks later, my sister told me she was pregnant and it was a surprise. She said she didn’t know how to tell me. I was really upset but I did my best to be supportive. Later that night I was crying on my bathroom floor telling my husband I wanted to die. He held me and begged me not to talk that way. Needless to say it was rough.. I did my best to be there for her during her pregnancy. Not going to lie, my family was kinda weird around me. Didn’t talk about her baby a lot. Didn’t ask for me to help with the baby shower. I was happy they didn’t ask much of me because I didn’t have the capacity to do those things.
A few months later, I got pregnant again. A few weeks after that, I miscarried again. It was awful. My sister was still pregnant and I had to continue to force myself to be supportive. I met my niece a few months later. Held her, smiled.
I decided to take a break from trying again. I wanted to focus on healing my mental health first. Months turned to years and I was content. I felt like I could live without kids and focus on traveling and being an aunt.
Fast forward to last summer. I had a feeling I was pregnant and took a test. It was positive. I had a mixture of feelings. Thinking back now, I was just scared. My past had traumatized me enough that I was extremely anxious about losing this pregnancy. I did everything I could to prevent that from happening. What I ate, who I spent time with, etc. Well, some things you just can’t prevent I guess. I lost my daughter right before our third trimester. It’s been 3 months. I’ve been a mess ever since. Some days are better than others. I’ve gone back to work and everyone is pregnant or their wife is pregnant. I’ve grown a huge resentment toward everyone there. I hate my job that I once loved. I don’t want to be there. I don’t want to see the happy pregnant people. I try to think nice things but the negative thoughts are so strong. I hate them. I hate their happiness. I don’t want to see them, I don’t want them near me, I don’t want to hear about their babies. I know that’s mean and unhealthy but this voice in my head is loud.
Then, yesterday, my sister text me saying she’s pregnant again. I want to die. How am I supposed to be around her when she’s pregnant? Listen to my family talk about baby stuff? I can’t. I told her I needed space until I deal with this news and it, understandably, upset her. My mom called me and told me that I need to work towards getting better and even though I can’t control what’s happening, I can control how I respond. She told me I need medication, more therapy, all that. I don’t think they really understand what’s going on in my head. How sick I am when I think of babies knowing I won’t ever see mine again. How angry I am at the universe or God or whatever it was that didn’t protect my daughter when I needed her to be ok. What did I do to deserve this? How could this happen again? Every time something extremely traumatic happens my sister gets pregnant and I’m supposed to deal with it? How is that fair? I hate my life and I’m in a dark place.

TW for sexual, physical, medical, emotional, and religious abuse, childhood sa, suicidal ideation, and self harm
This past week has been incredibly difficult due to that holiday so I decided it would be good for me to write a letter to my nmom to keep for myself during my healing process to get everything out and it's been very cathartic. Part of my healing journey has been sharing my (extremely personal) experience with others who understand, hence why I'm sharing this here, and maybe it'll give someone some strength knowing that I made it out after all of this. I hope everyone was kind to themselves this week and was able to treat this holiday as a holiday for themselves for surviving their nmoms!
Dear mom, Happy belated Mother’s Day. My Mother’s Day was spent being upset and anxious so I decided to write this letter. This letter is so incredibly difficult to write and even more difficult to read back to myself. Moving away from university and back home during COVID was genuinely one of the most difficult things I have done in my life simply because of all of the repressed memories that flooded back into my brain every single day I was in that house. I used to resent the pandemic for forcing me to live in an environment that made me want to harm myself every single day and die every other day, but I am now thankful for the clarity that it brought me as I don’t think I’d have the foresight that I have now.
There is a lot that I want to say. I am angry, bitter, resentful, and traumatized from things that you have done to me as a child and also as an adult. I thought for a very long time that thing were normal but thank God I now know just how truly fucked up so many of my childhood experiences were. Not a single day goes by where I don’t think about the emotional, physical, and sexual abuse that I went through. I am haunted every single day by things that you did (and some things that you didn’t do) and hope that one day I will be able to heal from what I experienced.
I grew up being close to my cousin Chloe (a year younger than me) who was obviously very bitchy, mean, and abusive. This fact isn’t something you weren’t aware of as I know a fully grown adult would be able to see how she treated and talked to me when around you and come to the obvious conclusion that I should not have been allowed to be around her. She bullied me, called me names, physically assaulted me by pushing me, pulling my hair, and sitting on me with my hands held behind my back until I couldn’t breathe, forced me to bathe in scolding hot bath water that would burn my skin, making me undress and make fun of parts of my body, and forced me to watch things that she knew would scare me. This is the same time that I started having insomnia and struggled in school due to anxiety. It’s also the same time I remember my sound sensitivity starting. Do you remember my childhood friend’s mom Amelia and how protective she was over my friend, Diana? Diana met Chloe at my 9th birthday party and Diana went over to her house for a playdate and Chloe did something to her. She physically reached over and groped Diana on the privates. I knew Amelia IMMEDIATELY prevented her daughter from ever being around Chloe again. I also knew that it's possible she mentioned this to my aunt, but I'm not positive. I know that Amelia is the type of mom to prevent Diana from reading Harry Potter because she thought it was a bad influence on her due to being “demonic”, so I wouldn’t be surprised if she made you aware of what Chloe did to Diana as she knew that I spent a lot of time around her. I doubt that what Chloe did to Diana was ever kept a secret from you. Chloe also forced me to do sexual things I didn’t want to do from roughly the ages of 8-11. One time, we were in her kitchen and she pulled out a knife and said that she was going to stab me. By then, I knew she just wanted to scare me so when I had no reaction, she put the knife away. I was terrified of what would happen if I said no to her so I went along with whatever she wanted. She would go into the bathroom and tell me to follow, would lock the door, and make me take off my clothes and let her do things to me and forced me to do the same things to her. I used to think that you had NO IDEA about this until I remember you saying the words- “you were an amazing kid and never had any problems until you got a little older. I always wondered if something happened.” Who the fuck says that to their kid???? Yeah, something DID happen and it wouldn’t have happened if you protected me!!!! You fucking idiot!!!! I remember being in our new house and taking a shower with you when I was about 8 (which was VERY inappropriate and should NEVER have happened at all) and saying something that clearly made you uncomfortable. It CLEARLY indicated something was going on. I remember the exact face you made and know that any normal, healthy adult would have done something about it and made sure nothing was happening. They would have made sure I was SAFE, and talked to me about safety, but nothing was said or done. You have failed me many times, but this one is the most painful. Not only will you need to live with the fact that you knew about my abuse and did nothing, but I will have to live with the fact that my mom knew "something happened” and didn’t care about me enough to protect me. I look at my beautiful niece Hallie, and imagine not protecting her like that and want to vomit. I cannot fathom how a mother would have the thought “I wonder if something happened to my daughter to case a massive behavioral change” and NOT DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT! You didn’t talk to me, never asked me if Chloe was doing anything, or anything at all. If I even had a minor suspicion that something was happening to Hallie, I would IMMEDIATELY do something about it because THAT IS MY JOB as an adult in her life. You failed me and deserve to know that this traumatized me and gave me PTSD. I am NOT autistic, no matter how much you WANT me to be so you can go around and gain sympathy for “having an autistic daughter” rather than owning up to the fact that you caused what “went wrong” with me.
Not only did you not help prevent me from being molested by my cousin, you also added to my sexual trauma by forcing me to use the giant egg monistat insert to treat a yeast infection when I was 11. I was ELEVEN and you had a bright idea to force a HUGE foreign object into my prepubescent body even though you were fully aware I could have easily gotten a prescription for a pill to swallow from a doctor. I was scared. I had so much pain and itching and needed a mother to hug me, tell me it’s going to be okay, or at the very least, EXPLAIN what I had and how we were going to fix it. You didn’t do any of that. You told me to lay down and proceeded to try and administer medication that is NOT meant for children 12 and under due to the physical damage it could cause. I was clearly in pain and scared, but you kept trying anyways. At any point, you could have stopped and taken me to the fucking doctor, but nope. You then got frustrated that “you couldn’t get it in” and told your 11 year old daughter to shove it inside herself. Then you left the room. I hadn’t even had a period yet, let alone know where my vagina was but you sure felt the need to yet again abandon your parental responsibilities and place them onto your kid! Miraculously, I put it in and wobbled out to lay on the couch because I was in physical pain from BOTH the infection and YOU, but because a child’s body isn’t able to properly fully insert the medication used (which once again I’ll remind you is meant for girls 13 and up), it came out and got on the couch because you didn’t give me a pad. And rather than prioritize your own daughter’s health, safety, wellbeing, and comfort, you were more upset about the stain on the couch and yelled at me. I will never forget in all of the years that I am alive how ashamed and disgusted I felt standing behind you watching you furiously scrub at the stain that I caused (actually, that YOU caused since this never should have happened in the first place!) and feeling a huge flood of guilt every time I saw that couch stain. One of the best days of my life was when we got a new couch and I never had to see that stain again.
All of this caused me to develop anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts and ideation, self harming behaviors, having out of body experiences where I dissociate, and panic attacks amongst other things. YOU caused ALL of this and you fought tooth and nail to convince me that it was MY fault for being broken. “There’s something going on with you,” and you made it your mission to never take any responsibility for any of the trauma that you caused. Not only did you ignore all signs of abuse and sexually assault me yourself, you bullied and helped a family friend Sharon bully me when I was “being mean” to (her daughter) Faith. I was treated like I was a mentally ill monster who couldn’t be trusted and always got in trouble whenever Faith shed a single tear because I was “mean to her”. Faith cried at LEAST 15x a day, and I was blamed every time she decided to say I was the reason. You allowed a monster (Sharon) to ABUSE me and had the incredibly wise idea to start passing along what shit talking you two would say about me TO ME, a 13 year old girl. I was THIRTEEN. I was A CHILD. And yet, you came crying and complaining to me about how tired you were of hearing Sharon say I was being mean to her daughter when you could have TOLD THE OTHER ADULT IN THE SITUATION TO STOP. It never was my responsibility as a child to try and make another adult stop abusing me by “behaving better.” There was nothing wrong with how I was behaving. You never once tried to help me, you always blamed anybody and everybody else for your failures. I would come and ask you for help when I was struggling and if you didn’t care, you would pawn it off to somebody else- “go talk to your older sister” “talk to your therapist about that” “I don’t know what to say except to tell you to pray about it” and when I came back saying praying didn’t magically fix my depression, you told me to pray harder. I guess you really thought it was a skill issue rather than a diagnosable health condition! No wonder I wanted to die! Hahaha! I’ll never forget the look of disgust on your face when I was sobbing hysterically and struggling to get out the words when I told you just how badly I was affected by Sharon and said how you played a role in helping her harm and abuse me. “WELL. I’m SORRY if you think I didn’t protect you enough. I know what that feels like because my parent’s took my sister’s side a few weeks ago when we were having an argument” (as FULLY GROWN 50+ YEAR OLDS arguing and bitching LIKE CHILDREN!) No, mom, it’s not the same. I was a child and not only did you not stop an abuser from harming me, you joined in. You allowed her access to me and you passed along what horrible things she said was wrong with me. “SHARON said she thinks YOU’RE BIPOLAR. Do you think you are?” “Sharon told me that you’re having AN EPISODE and are being mean to Faith! Show me your phone!” Erm? I’m thirteen? What do you expect me to do? “Well, I just don’t understand why you keep bringing this up when it happened so long ago. I just hope you can forgive her and move on.” You’re fucking disgusting. Should I go into detail about how many times I asked you to not interact with Sharon more than you needed to and you proceeded to try and force her into my life more? You KNEW how uncomfortable I was with you attending Faith’s wedding and yet, you cared more about how you looked and not only attended, but hosted both her wedding and wedding shower. I have always wondered why you never cared how I feel until I realized that you prioritize yourself and how you look to other people above anything and everyone. There is a clear pattern of behavior- - When I was 17 and you were berating me at your work for wanting to visit my friend up in Boston to see a concert together because “you just didn’t understand why I’d want to do that” and I started crying. You rolled your eyes and said “you better leave now if you don’t want my next client to see you crying because her appointment is in a few minutes.” You cared more about having your random client seeing me cry and potentially thinking you’re a bad mom than comforting me. - When I was 13 and we were saying our nightly prayer the night that I had my “therapy appointment” (aka, you and my “therapist” chastising me for writing in my diary that I was having suicidal thoughts), when you were praying you said “Dear God, please help (my name)… and… pLEASE HELP ME!!!!” Clearly, YOU were affected more than I was even though I was the one wanting to die because of you. Wow. Your life is so hard! - Telling everyone around you that I “have problems” and am “really struggling” so you can gain an ounce of sympathy. The way that your friends come up and talk to me is baffling. - Laughing about me with my friends in high school when I was out of the room- “hahaha my daughter is sooooo weird hahaha” - When I was 18 and you called my “therapist” (who did NOT get my consent before doing this and violated her ethical guidelines) after I moved out and stopped talking to you, you got her to help you write a list of “rules” to force me to stay in contact with you. They consisted of requiring me to “talk to you, dad, or my sister at least 1x/day” so you “knew that I was safe” aka, you wanted to control me even though I was an adult and not living in your house. I was perfectly safe, and yet you made me sound like I was doing drug deals in the morning, prostituting myself after lunch, and had plans to commit felonies later that night. I went to school, ate, and went back to my apartment. You had no right manipulating me into talking to you by using my therapist, dad, and sister against me. Pathetic. - Telling me to go do my runs on a strange man’s property instead of the road because it’s “safer.” Dad said that this man who I’VE NEVER MET told him that “there are bad people out there who will kidnap her and do horrible things to her, SO INSTEAD she should run on MY property!” Not sketchy or rapey at all, right? And completely dismissing me when I said that made me uncomfortable by saying “my dad knows him”? Lady, do you know any rape statistics? Clearly not, because you’d then know that only 7% of assaults are strangers while 93% are family members or acquaintances. NINETY THREE PERCENT. The amount of times that I’ve mentioned someone made me uncomfortable or had a massive affect on me as a child and you’ve replied with “Oh, well did they touch you?” People don’t have to touch me to traumatize me. You’re pathetic for thinking that.
I’m not mad at Chloe. I don’t feel any anger or ill will towards her at all. She was a child just like I was a child. She was failed more than I was failed. No child acts that way and assaults other children without learning that from somewhere. I blame her parents for what happened to her. I blame YOU for what happened to me. I vividly remember things that my aunt would say the same time this was happening about little girls and their bodies and I want to smash my head against the wall. Children are to be protected above anything and everything else, by you didn’t. Do I hate Faith and think that she’s a bad person because of what happened when we were 13? No. I fully blame you and Sharon. The amount of adults that have failed me in my life keep me up at night. I think about how different my life would be had dad been more involved and seen what was going on and taken me away from you. I am angry with him for that. I dream one day I will be able to sit down with him and tell him everything I have written about and he will hug me, support me, cry with me, and apologize for not being there more to protect me. But who knows, he might defend his child abusing, mentally ill wife and say I’m making up everything. Who knows.
Do you want to know what my sister said when I told her all of this? She apologized to me for not being 15 years older than I am so she could have raised me instead. I want you to sit here and think about how fucked up that is. My own sister wishes she could have taken me away from you so you couldn’t have abused me. I imagine the pressure she must have felt having to grow up while also raising her mother and sister and I sob for her. I’ve sobbed for me for the mental anguish and torture I experienced at your hands. I’ve even sobbed for you because I can’t imagine being even a fraction of how fucked up you are to resort to abusing and neglecting your child- a child you begged to have. A child you had trouble having and prayed for. Embarrassing.
I’m never going to have a relationship with you again. If God is willing, I will never have to interact with you ever again. Saying that phrase “if God is willing” is ironic because you forcing me to pray my problems away rather than helping me led me to not believe in him. How can I believe in something that also neglected me? I’d sit in my dark bedroom night after night praying and sobbing for him to help me. I didn’t know what was happening to me, but I felt broken and alone. I now know that I was a child praying for God to take away my PTSD, and that is not possible. My heart breaks for that child.
You’re a pathetic excuse for a mother and human being. I’m truly shocked that I survived you and your abuse. I’m surprised that I didn’t ever try to kill myself to try and get away from you because you’re a vulture that prays on innocent people. The only important people in your life are people you think will give you something or will make you look good. That’s why you refused to ever cut ties with Sharon, you knew she was sexually abused as a child and you couldn’t POSSIBLY NOT be her friend because you need her to be your “friend,” or rather, your token sexually abused as a child friend. I genuinely hope that you get better and become a normal healthy person but I won’t ever be around to see it. I hope you feel even a fraction of the pain and abandonment that I have felt my entire life. Happy Mother’s Day, but today isn’t Mother’s Day for me, it’s Daughter’s Day. Moving far away from you one month ago has truly saved my life. Instead of trying to survive, I am enjoying my life. I would have died in that house. I get to finally celebrate being away from you and celebrate myself for staying strong and fighting when I could have easily given up. You once told me “you feel like I HATE you!” to guilt me into fawning over you and telling you how much I loved you, but now you get the opposite. I DO hate you and hate how you have permanently changed me and I wish to never see you again. Instead of praying for the “God forsaken, atheist, lost, evil, liar, miserable, spiteful, hateful, disgusting, mentally ill, “autistic” daughter, pray for yourself. Pray for God’s forgiveness for emotionally, medically, physically, sexually, and religiously abusing and neglecting me. You deserve to remain in your "clueless" state of "having NO IDEA what you did wrong to make her stop talking to me!" for the rest of your life.Happy Daughter’s Day.

They live in an ivory tower, they're self absorbed alcoholic narcissists who don't give a fuck about anyone but themselves and they feast on Schadenfreude the way a vulture will feast over a carcass.
Me and my bf have been revenge evicted from our 2 bedroom house (landlord decided he wanted to "sell the house" barely an hour after I'd complained about mould and a silverfish infestation) because our credit is fucked (we both have CCJS mostly got ourselves into debt trying to keep up with paying sky high rent) and my boyfriend is a self employed plumber and gas engineer (no landlords will rent to self employed people without a guarantor) we're having to live in a static caravan (no pisstakers please) we got the section 21 notice in November I went that whole time without telling them it was only when my 6 year old niece told them a month ago that my sister spun a bullshit story of us "downsizing" we haven't downsized we've literally been booted out of our home and if we didn't live in this caravan we'd be on the streets with a 3 year old cat.
My family have no idea that this ordeal has completely broken me and him, that for months I'd been waking up having anxiety attacks about where we were going to live what was going to happen etc that I've been crying and on/off suicidal (I suffer with BPD, depression and Asperges, my boyfriend has ADHD and depression) my aunt came round to see me the other day cos it was my birthday and my back went up, our bed is in our front room cos the bedrooms are too small for our bed and she was asking who sleeps on what side, she was asking why there are tshirts up on the curtains and my sister tried to explain its because it gets really stuffy and hot in the caravan and I put them up for shade and to try and make it cooler, she said I didn't "seen keen" on living here, I felt ashamed when she left with my sister I wanted to cry and it was my 33rd birthday. My family have got me moving in cards and that's nice but they have no idea how much me and my boyfriend have suffered and struggled with this they think we've chosen to move here when we haven't it's out of sheer desperation, they all own their own homes, they're all very well off they're extremely out of touch, if anyone ever tries to tell them about their difficult times they get shut down over it or they're given really patronising harsh lectures. My cousin was being bullied a few years ago and all my aunt could say to that was "me and your uncle are struggling to pay our mortgage". That's the type of family I have.
I hate that I have the kind of family I can't tell things to, they don't know I lost one of my pets last year, they don't know my boyfriend has struggled with depression and he's been in and out of work, I've had to carry all this on my own and so has he we've had 0 support from anyone not that we deserve it or are owed it but sometimes I wish I could tell them whats going on in my life, even the good things. I keep them at a distance and it's for the best for my mental well being but I hate it. It's isolating, it's lonely and it makes me bitter I think but I suppose it's for the Best.

Hi I need advise my grandpa's sister aunt Tina (not her actual name no offense to any Tina's) has pissed me off greatly you see her and her first daughter her son in law along with her grand kids and my great grand mother came to our town I'm not terribly close to her but we used to be Im closer to her two daughters but she came down to help my great grand mother go through her stuff and some back story her and my grandpa's step mother my granny died when I was 7 but before I was born my mom was promised the kiln and bisque ware for pottery and stuff well I would ask my granny if I could paint the ceramics but she didn't have paint for them so there is sentimental value. We where supposed to get them, but after my granny and great grandpa died my aunt Tina wouldn't let my mom take the kiln saying it was ruined cause one of my great grandparents dogs would pee on it well this was blatant lie my mom caught but she didn't want to argue and my grandpa is tired of fighting his sister. But when we went to visit my aunt was talking to my mom while I was out of the room saying she was going to fire up the kiln again and had gone behind my mothers back asking my grandpa for the pottery wheel he had bought for my mom and I quote " we wouldn't need it since we would be moving into a trailer" mind we're gonna buy land at the coast but my aunt had foolishly told my mother this luckily my mother hadn't heard it from grandpa. But the fact she did NOT asked my mother before she asked my grandpa. This stuck my mom in a nerve as she was very close with my granny and so was I she had already been frustrated earlier today and this pushed her over edge she didn't sleep last night which is dangerous since she works a long night shift and has to drive a long way and there's a ton of wildlife at night but what's worse is this caused her to snap at me excessively yelling a little and she called me a few hours ago telling me she was sorry for snapping she was hurt and frustrated. My mother doesn't cry very often unless she's hurt or extremely frustrated and she was both so after explaining she began to cry in her work parking lot and I'm very protective of my mother and grandmother, so this ticked me off cause this isn't the first thing my aunt's done she's caused damage to sentimental items before. For example my granny had a beautiful sunset moth in a terrarium she had my aunt took off the protective glass dome and filled it with news paper leaving the Sunset moth uncovered which caused it to get damaged and disintegrate into dust. My granny also had these collectible crystal and gemstone eggs and I was the only great grand child that met granny but also no one else wanted them but she still tried to divide them among the family when that was the only thing I asked for, but not only did her and my biological great grandmother say she wasn't apart of the family when she tried to give her opinion in a FAMILY matter and I'm tired of her toxic and passive aggressive behavior towards my side of the family and I'm very tempted to confront her over the phone tomorrow and give her an ultimatum of either respecting my family and giving back what is rightfully theirs or not talk to me every and not knowing any future children I have in the far future. Should I do it what are your suggestions please in need help
Age wise im 15 and my aunt is in her fifties my mom is in her late thirties and my grandma is in her mid fifties and my grandpa

Hi I need advise my grandpas sister aunt Tina (not her actual name no offense to any Tina's) has pissed me off greatly you see her and her first daughter her son in law along with her grand kids and my great grand mother came to our town I'm not terribly close to her but we used to be Im closer to her two daughters but she came down to help my great grand mother go through her stuff and some back story her and my grandpa's step mother my granny died when I was 7 but before I was born my mom was promised the kiln and bisque ware for pottery and stuff well I would ask my granny if I could paint the ceramics but she didn't have paint for them so there is sentimental value. We where supposed to get them, but after my granny and great grandpa died my aunt Tina wouldn't let my mom take the kiln saying it was ruined cause one of my great grandparents dogs would pee on it well this was blatant lie my mom caught but she didn't want to argue and my grandpa is tired of fighting his sister. But when we went to visit my aunt was talking to my mom while I was out of the room saying she was going to fire up the kiln again and had gone behind my mothers back asking my grandpa for the pottery wheel he had bought for my mom and I quote " we wouldn't need it since we would be moving into a trailer" mind we're gonna buy land at the coast but my aunt had foolishly told my mother this luckily my mother hadn't heard it from grandpa. But the fact she did NOT asked my mother before she asked my grandpa. This stuck my mom in a nerve as she was very close with my granny and so was I she had already been frustrated earlier today and this pushed her over edge she didn't sleep last night which is dangerous since she works a long night shift and has to drive a long way and there's a ton of wildlife at night but what's worse is this caused her to snap at me excessively yelling a little and she called me a few hours ago telling me she was sorry for snapping she was hurt and frustrated. My mother doesn't cry very often unless she's hurt or extremely frustrated and she was both so after explaining she began to cry in her work parking lot and I'm very protective of my mother and grandmother, so this ticked me off cause this isn't the first thing my aunt's done she's caused damage to sentimental items before. For example my granny had a beautiful sunset moth in a terrarium she had my aunt took off the protective glass dome and filled it with news paper leaving the Sunset moth uncovered which caused it to get damaged and disintegrate into dust. My granny also had these collectible crystal and gemstone eggs and I was the only great grand child that met granny but also no one else wanted them but she still tried to divide them among the family when that was the only thing I asked for, but not only did her and my biological great grandmother say she wasn't apart of the family when she tried to give her opinion in a FAMILY matter and I'm tired of her toxic and passive aggressive behavior towards my side of the family and I'm very tempted to confront her over the phone tomorrow and give her an ultimatum of either respecting my family and giving back what is rightfully theirs or not talk to me every and not knowing any future children I have in the far future. Should I do it what are your suggestions please in need help.
Age wise im 15 and my aunt is in her fifties my mom is in her late thirties and my grandma is in her mid fifties and my grandpa is in his late fifties he's older than my aunt and im just trying to do the right thing please any advise?

In proper English said "niece" is my second cousin once removed who lives a couple hours' flight from me. But in my culture "once removed" is the same as niece/nephew or aunt/uncle, so I will refer to this 16-year-old girl as Niece.
I am very close to her mother, my second cousin (42F). She recently flew in to attend a funeral in our family. While staying with me I learned that Cousin intends to move out tonight and file for divorce this coming week.
Cousin does have an affair and is leaving for her AP. In general I usually oppose affairs vehemently, as I have survived my own father's affair and know how it hurts the family. But please refrain from judging my cousin, because the point of my post is about what I could do to support her daughter, rather than debating the morality of my cousin's infidelity.
With proper context, I understand why Cousin went there. She's been enduring chronic emotional abuse from her own STBXH (43M) including rape, and being silenced and shamed for grieving for her father who died earlier this year.
Cousin has had trouble leaving because like many survivors of abusive marriages it takes time and enormous effort and willpower to pull off leaving. Not to mention that she and STBXH run a business together and have been striving to brave a presentable face for their delicate professional network.
Cousin's marriage has been dead for years, but before she managed to completely pull off leaving, her AP came into the picture and catalysed her exit. While I would never condone cheating to betray a loving spouse, I do find myself sympathetic to this particular grey area, especially because I see that the AP happens to have goals, values and capabilities that align with what Cousin needs in order to pursue a fulfilling future and not live the rest of her life as a zombie in an undead marriage.
Cousin has informed her 21-year-old son of the upcoming divorce and her affair. Although Nephew is a devout Christian who in principle does not condone divorce and affairs, he understands that this marriage has killed his mother's spirit, and he supports whatever his mother needs to do in order to reclaim her own autonomy, confidence and identity. He promises to look out for his sister in this difficult and potentially traumatising transitional period. He also told his mother that he loves her no matter what, though he is also honest and firm about boundaries like being unwilling to meet the AP because he does feel that AP has robbed him of his mother.
Niece has not been informed of what is about to happen in the coming days, and my heart breaks for her. Like her older brother, she is an intelligent and hard working young person with big dreams for her future, and a good heart. And I know she also loves her mother to the moon and back. My heart breaks for her because she will be blindsided by her parents' upcoming divorce.
Despite the marriage troubles, Cousin describes STBXH as an otherwise good father and provider. He will contest the fault divorce, but Cousin will offer him a full share of the house and custody of their daughter, because she will be moving to the countryside for her next job.
My Aunt (Cousin's motheNiece's grandmother) also lives in Cousin's STBXH's house, but will also be blindsided by this upcoming divorce. Aunt is a good person who I know will do her best to support her granddaughter, but she will also struggle with her own grief and strong emotions, and often speaks unfiltered before thinking.
While Cousin was staying with me, I addressed preparing Niece with some other good key people in her support system. I suggested hooking Niece up with a psychologist to see on a fortnightly or monthly basis so that she has a reliable adult figure to help her process her complicated emotions in a non-judgmental safe space, develop healthy coping skills and overcoming strategies, disarm traumas before they have a chance of festering, and gets empowered by someone who can model reclaiming her identity and self-worth in a world that's changing overnight.
I also offered to check in with Niece and to be there for her through this difficult transitional period.
I'm not half as close to Niece as I am to her mother, but we are on friendly terms. My ex husband is a novelist/filmmaker and my Niece is a huge fan of his, so at one point she texted me lovely compliments and expressed enthusastic interest in my ex's newer works-in-progress. I also offered her words of support when her now late grandfather was hospitalised and her family moved to his city to care for him.
I guess this brings me to my questions. Because I care about my Cousin, I'm interested in contributing to Niece's support system by offering to be there for her as a safe adult she can trust and approach anytime for perspective, a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on and a voice of reason. What can I do for a teenage girl in my extended family who is going through a parents' divorce blindsided?
For those of you who have been in these aunty/uncle shoes before, what are some do's and don'ts and key lessons you have learned from your experience?
And for those of you who survived parents' divorce as blindsided teenagers, who were the best safe adults in your support system at the time, and what did they do for you? Or if you weren't as lucky, what kind of support did you wish you had, and what do you wish adults in your life back then did differently?
Finally, what can I do to facilitate recovering my niece's love and respect for her parents in spite of their faults and her anger and grief about it?
Thank you!

This is a long one. I (f37) am thinking about not going to my great nieces first birthday.
My niece (19) and I have always been quite close. I have always been there for her growing up and was heavily involved since the day she was born. I actually watched her be born. I always held my nieces and nephews as babies, changed their nappies, bathed them, looked after them, took them places, bought them things etc. Now my niece has had a baby and it’s the total opposite of how things were when my niece was a baby. She never wants people to hold baby, do things for baby,look after her or do ANY of the things I did when she was little. Every time I tried to hold her or be involved in any way it was as if I was a stranger trying to hold her baby. I always felt like I was a nobody and my niece didn’t want me to acknowledge her daughter at all. I began to feel guilty for even looking at her. It all came to a head when I asked what kind of baby seat she used as I wanted to get one just incase me or my parents ever needed to have or pick up my great niece for any reason. I got shut down and was told that there was no point as she would never be in anyone else’s car so there was no need to buy a baby seat. I was over trying at that point. I had put so much energy and effort into trying to be the best great aunt I could be just as I had been the best aunt I could be for my niece but I was getting rejected left right and centre. I made a generic post on Facebook saying that I was giving up trying which she obviously knew was about this situation. She wouldn’t answer any of my texts or phone calls. I should mention that I suffer from depression and mental illness and was on the verge of a breakdown. I was at a very low point and decided I needed to get away. I spontaneously bought a ticket to Germany for the next day for four weeks. (My sister lives in Germany) I then get a text from my niece saying the following.
Hey (name removed) Look i’m not mad at you i’m just disappointed that something as simple as telling you not to buy a car seat for baby as it’s not necessary caused you to posted things on facebook and etc. It’s disappointing you haven’t respected husband and I’s boundaries, privacy and personal choice for us and our family. On my multiple occasions you haven’t taken no for an answer and I feel like i’m walking on egg shells quite frankly trying not to upset you. I feel as though I can’t say “no don’t buy a car seat” or no to a cuddle with baby without offending you. It’s really draining constantly feeling like husband and my decisions for our baby are not being respected or understood by you at family gatherings, which doesn’t bring joy and happiness into my life and my family. I understand you might mean well but at the end of the day it’s not your decision on anything to do with baby it’s up to husband and I and unfortunately if you can’t respect that then we aren’t going to want to see you, and want to catch up with you and ect. We are a private family and like to have our space we also do not have time for drama and etc in our lives. I’m sorry if this upsets you but husband and I only want the best for our baby and that includes the people around her. And it is so negative and upsetting to see that one of our family members have posted about us on her facebook and is not the type of energy we want in are daughters life. We are currently in the middle of moving house so I don’t have time for long conversations like this, and that’s why I haven’t answered you yet but when we have settled down in our new house and everything we can catch up and talk in person. Hope you understand where we are coming from and think and process what I have said Thank you. love you 🫶🫶
It was like a gut punch. I totally broke down after that. The time away was good but it was super awkward when I returned home. I didn’t want to engage at all. Over time things slowly improved and I felt like things were getting better. Then one day a weeks back we were having a family bbq and she had put baby on the ground while holding her hands. I put my arms out to pick her up and my niece held babies hands tighter and said something along the lines of why do you always have to pick her up when I put her down. I was taken aback and left the room for a while. I kept my distance the rest of the day and haven’t reached out since. I should also add that my sister and niece are very similar in the sense that if I don’t reach out to them (eg call or text) I NEVER hear from them. I am so drained and tired of trying and have become distant. I don’t want to socialise with them or talk. My great nieces first birthday is next week and I don’t want to go. I don’t t have the energy to pretend everything is ok. I don’t see the point in me being there. So would I be the asshole if I didn’t attend.

Need to vent - please read if you can
Just had a really rough day and need to vent as I don’t have many friends.
Met my wife in college (2010) and everything was going great, We moved in together, graduated, both started working full time and got married in 2014. We have 2 daughters, ages 7 and 5
I was working 3rd shift and would come home, watch my 7 year old when she was a baby until my wife got home and then I would eat dinner, take a nap and wake up for work. I did this for a year or 2 and then my mother in law started to help out. Got a text from my wife saying her mom just walked out of the house yelling at my daughter and went home. Supposedly was calling her a brat and spoiled (to a 2-3 year old) etc.
We then had baby number two in 2020. This was especially difficult with Covid. I worked in drug manufacturing and was required to be on site. So I would work 3rd shift and come home and sleep during the day as we had a nanny at this point (non vaccinated which is important later on). With Covid my wife was super cautious. I was cautious, but she was very cautious. Everyday when I got home from work I had to immediately take my shoes off outside, come in and throw my clothes in the washer and immediately shower. I was the only one doing grocery shopping which had to be wiped down etc etc. my parents lived next door to us but were unsure of getting vaccinated and my wife then did not want them anywhere near the kids. This goes for my aunts uncles and my 2 sisters who were not vaccinated as well.
After our children were born, my wife changed pretty drastically. I was always nervous about having a child from a financial aspect and if we could literally even afford it etc but she assured me we could and I was madly in love with her and wanted to be a father. But once they were born, especially after baby number 2, it felt like everything I did I couldn’t do right. Couldn’t do the dishes right, the laundry correctly, or anything for that matter. But it was only me. Example if I forget to put my shoes away when I come inside, she would call me out about it whereas if she didn’t put her shoes away, I would be a total asshole if I even mentioned it.
She wanted me off of third shift because the girls were too much for her to handle at night by herself, so I took a role on 1st shift where I was home more at night but it didn’t really change anything.
We saved up and were able to purchase a house. Things had gotten so tense between the two of us because she was getting mad at our kids for any reason, ignoring them and just staying in her room while leaving all chores to me (and I mean everything, breakfast dinner lunch, laundry dishes cleaning the bathroom cutting the lawn etc etc) all while she just relaxed in our room.
It got to a point that on the first day we moved into our new home July 2021, I told her that I think she needs to get help and that I would help her and support her etc and she responded by telling me she wanted a divorce.
We talked things through and were together, things seemed to be better. I worked hard and got a new job at work which ended up being a majority remote once I talked to my boss and told him I would like to be home more for the kids wife etc.
So fast forward a year and in the summer she said she had an appointment for a massage 1.5 hours away near her parents lake house. I was never really a fan of the lake house as it’s kinda where she grew up, it’s all her mom talks about and she has people up there still that she has been with in the past.
So I stay home with the kids for the weekend, and I found text messages of her to a guy who lives up there basically saying it was nice seeing him again and that she thinks he was always the one etc etc and sending quotes from a book to him. When she came home I asked her at night about it and she lied. We went to marriage counseling and tried to work on things. One thing I was frustrated with was the sex aspect as we had not had sex in 2 years. She told me that she would not have sex with me unless I got a vasectomy. So I did. And we’ve had sex less then 8 times since then, none of which have been in the past year or so.
One thing I was really against now at this point was going to the lake as the guy she met up with lives on the lake near her parents house. So she ended up booking an air bnb for a week and we all ended up going up there and I was miserable the whole time.
Fast forward a year, I asked if she was sure she wanted to file for divorce and she said yes so I got a lawyer and filed for divorce. We are in the midst of figuring out what to do with the house but it’s going to kill me refinancing my rate. But this morning she wakes up and asked if we have anything planned. I told her I needed to go to the bank and she asked our girls if they wanted to go their with me or if they wanted to go with her to her parents lake house. Of course the girls wanted to go to the lake so I was home by myself today without the girls. I cleaned up the house for everything cleaned ups and tidy for everyone.
I know I’m ranting but it made me so sad and so mad about her going there. I feel like we were meant for each other but we both hold so much in because we hate confrontation which I think is how we ended up in this position. Just sad all around.
I feel like sometimes we are making the wrong decision for our kids and the family and it makes me sad thinking of her with someone else and now having to compete against someone else being my girls dad etc.
Just needed to rant and will be looking at comments if anyone has any advice for me or just encouragement. I would really appreciate it

Hi,
My niece & nephew are both autistic/ADHD and my sister would homeschool them if she could
As their aunt, I would like to be able to homeschool them. I believe in QLD/Aus it must be the actual parent or a registered teacher.
Are there any fellow Aussies who have done something similar?
I'm assuming most relatives who homeschool already have a teaching degree (eg. a grandparent who already has a career in education)
I'm currently studying a tertiary prep course via TAFE and want to go on to further study anyway. Is a bachelor degree in primary/secondary education the only option?
The aim is to be qualified as soon as possible, so that I could do the last couple of years of primary + highschool with them (they're 9 & 6 now).
Any advice or info is appreciated. Also any concerns 😅
Or recs for Aus specific homeschooling groups? I'll check out FB
(For context, neither parent is able to homeschool themselves, but would be at home to care for kids/offer general support. The kids also have support workers, OTs etc. I'm like a 3rd parent to them & understand their needs and how they best thrive/learn very well)
Thanks :)

Hello,
I’m 23 f and I have at least 3 women I know who are most likely in abusive relationships. One of them is my friend, one of them is my aunt, one of them is boss. All three of them I’ve had a situation where I witnessed a clear sign of abuse. This is a long one. But I feel like each situation matters.
The first one is my best friend. She would tell me all types of events that happened between them where he was not a good man. Mostly cheating. I tell her to leave him multiple times. Next thing you know she’s pregnant and they move in together. He didn’t change though. Next thing you know they were fighting and he hit her in the car, bruising her. I beg her to leave. She doesn’t. The next event that happens is that they’re arguing in the house and he pulls a knife on her threatening her. He eventually gets mad and throws their baby onto the bed and storms out the apartment. She sent me the footage and I tell her to please leave for the safety of her baby and call the police. The police didn’t do anything but make his whole family mad at her. The police did not care at all. She tells me she’s going to have her dad get her a ticket to leave and move in with her dad. I kept asking about how that’s going everyday. And it turns into a month afterwards. She stayed. She gets pregnant again. And her boyfriend hates me and told me if I go to her baby shower he won’t be there and neither will his family. So I don’t go because of this and also because I’m scared he’ll hurt me too. She doesn’t tell me about what happens with him anymore. I feel like through speaking up and trying to help I made her situation worse.
The second woman is my auntie. She’s not my aunt by blood and not even by marriage but she has my biological uncles children. You can’t go anywhere with them without them arguing at the end of the night. They’re both still young and only 4-5 years older than me and they both have a drug addiction with coke. However, I notice he gives her coke more than he does it himself. He goes out of his way to embarrass her, call her names, and ruin the night. He doesn’t care whose it’s in front of. I’ve never seen him physically hit her, but I wouldn’t doubt for a second he does. Nobody in my family speaks up because he’s blood. And they’ll always take his side because they just see her as the coke head baby mom. And she does have her issues. She’s had fights with other members of my family because of them. And I don’t excuse her from them. But I think the way my uncle talks to her is unacceptable and verbally abusive. Not only does he do it front of our family, but he does it in front of his own kids who are all girls. One night we’re all getting back from somewhere and they start fighting and he’s just berating her over nothing all because she asked if I wanted to go get something to eat. I tell him calm down it’s okay it’s not that deep and then he tells me “you’re not helping at all”. I’m not a very confrontational person. I’m often scared to be the one to speak up. So I put my hand on her should and tell her it’s okay. And he gets mad at me and tells me “you’re not helping AT ALL stay out of it”. It’s a quiet way back home. Weeks pass and it’s my birthday so we’re all playing board games having a good time and drinking. Me and my aunt start talking about mental health and stuff and my uncle doesn’t like it so he tells her it’s time to go to bed. And my aunt is like we’re talking and we’re about to watch another movie. I agree and my uncle gets mad at both of us. When he walks out we talk about him being weird and he starts blowing up when he gets back. I’m drunk and I’m like this is the moment I speak up because this is not okay. I stand my ground and I continue watching the movie with her even though he’s throwing a fit in the background. Eventually he just shuts the tv off. And I turn it back on. Eventually we’re fighting over the buttons and he tells me you’re my niece and you’re turning against me don’t ever ask me for anything ever again. My dad wakes up and tells us all to be quiet. And he tells ME to calm down. When this all started because of him. I go and hug my aunt and just go to bed. The next morning they’re laid up together again and they’re both not talking to me. And the rest of my family tells me I should’ve just minded my business and to stay out of peoples relationships. But how can I stay silent seeing this happen? This scars me because It felt like everyone turned against me instead of the obvious abuser. My aunties smiles at me, but she wont speak to me because it’ll start another fight with my uncle. We eventually hang out again but I feel discouraged for speaking up anymore. Because nothing changes.
The next person is my boss. I know this is odd. And I’m not that close to my boss. And I don’t know what happens when she’s at home with her husband. But there was a work trip and my boyfriend and I go to the event in her husbands car to carpool. I’m the car I guess she gave the wrong directions on accident. He starts driving crazy yelling at her and calling her stupid. The way he was driving at that moment you would’ve thought he was drunk. He’s driving over sidewalks, speeding on city roads cutting off other people while berating her. She just stays silent. And I stay silent. My boyfriend stays silent. I’m scared to speak up anymore. Because I know nothing will change. But something needs to be said. But if I feel like if said anything I would’ve caused more trouble.
What am I supposed to do in situations like these? Do I really say nothing? It’s like every part of my body is fighting to speak up but the only person who gets punished is me and the victim. But never the abuser. What do I do when witnessing this?

First lf all, hello potatoes! This is my first ever post on anything, so bear with me!
I (21f), have an aunt who I've finally decided to go no contact with after years of her bs. For the sake of this post, let's call her EA. EA has always been a narcissist, though none of us really did anything about it for a while.
For instance, when I was young, about 12 or 13, she decided it would be a good idea to take me and my three siblings to a youth group, even though we never wanted to. She pretty much dragged us over there and would act like she was doing something good for us so we could pay her back later. We never wanted to go, because of some issues we had with the last religious group we went to, and it became painful for us to deal with.
Anyway, we ended up being late to an event one night, and the entire 30 minute drive down, she had been complaining about how late we were. Once we had gotten to the building, she went inside and talked to the person in charge about it. My siblings and I had come in and she locked eyes with me.
"Thanks a lot, kids."
That's all she had to say to us, then proceeded to complain to the person in charge over the whole ordeal. Being as young as I was and as sensitive as I was at the time, I held on to that feeling. Eventually, we stopped going, again because it was hard for us and EA made it unbearable.
Several years went by, and not long after I had graduated, she had come back into my life, in a much more violent way than before. I had moved out for school and work, so I wasn't physically there, but I heard about it after the fact. It turns out, while my parents and EA had gone to an appointment they both had in the nearest city (3+ hour drive), she had attacked my mother. Not verbally, but physically. She had pounced on her and left scratches and bruises. The cause of the fight? Some water on her butt. She threw a whole fit and physically attacked my mother, over a little bit of water on her butt.
Let me tell you, I was fuming when I had heard about it. She even went so far as to insult us when she attacked my mother, and I'll never forget it.
"You're raising your kids to be just like you!"
She made it sound like a bad thing for us to turn out like my mother. Now, my mother is a kind woman with a soft heart and a soft spot for dogs and cats. She loves crystals and plants, and she loves cloudy days and being by the ocean. She accepts all of us for who we are, and makes inappropriate jokes for us to laugh at. To hear EA insult my mother made me angry, but she had told me not to put any energy into it.
EA began to get worse afterwards. I was working a job that was slowly killing me, and whenever she'd visit, she had that sickly sweet 'I'm tolerating you enough to talk to you' look on her face and tone in her voice. When I was moved to nights, I was hoping to never deal with her again. But then, my grandmother fell down.
I heard about it during one of my shifts, and when I had gotten off, I couldn't sleep. I was afraid something would happen to her if I was asleep, so I stayed awake until my bf (21m) woke up. I told him the situation and we had a talk about it, and we both agreed that it would be best if I moved back to take care of her. So, on my first day off, I packed all my stuff and left. I texted my boss, who I wasn't on good terms with, and told her the situation. I pretty much handed in my two week notice, but only gave her two days.
So, I came home and moved in with my grandma so I could take care of her. Cooking, cleaning, laundry, dishes, anything and everything she needed done, I would do it. I was lucky enough to be able to bring my dog, a chihuahua dashund pug mix, to live with me. Spud made things a bit easier for me, considering everything that I had given up and what was going on. It felt like things were gonna get better.
Until my grandmother had to go to the hospital. I wish I was kidding, but I'm not. She couldn't get out of bed one morning, and since I didn't know what to do, I panicked and called my father. He came and checked on her, gave her an oxygen treatment, and when things didn't improve, he called EA so they could go to the hospital. I was freaking out and pacing around on the balcony, trying to calm down as they carried her to the car and drove to the hospital two towns over. She got better, so that helped, but it scared me so badly I couldn't sleep for a while. We were given an oxygen machine and told to have her on it as often as possible. That first night was terrible. I hadn't slept at all that night, or for the next few nights, because I was afraid of what would happen if I did.
To help with this, my father bought a baby monitor so I could make sure she was okay, and after a few days, I was feeling much better. EA began showing up, when she hadn't come at all before the hospital visit. When she did, the first thing she did was complain.
My little sis (11f), was helping me clean, and we had finished doing what my grandmother needed us to do when EA had come in. The first thing she said to us was that we should be cleaning, and began cleaning the stuff we didn't get to. She then started to complain about how we weren't doing these tasks that my grandmother never asked us to do. My sister and I just looked at each other with confusion. I could tell she was feeling bad, but it wasn't her job to do in the first place. EA took her cleaning to my grandmother's bedroom, and she stayed in there for a long time.
I began to get worried, so I ended up heading to my room downstairs to check the monitor, only to find EA had covered it. I sat, confused by what she had done. It's not like I had the monitor there to snoop around, it was only there to make sure my grandmother was okay. I shrugged it off and uncovered it before I went to bed that night. After a few days, I had decided to make the trip to see my bf. It was almost a 2 hour drive, so I wanted to leave early. I asked my little brother (18), to watch over everything while I was gone for a few days. He agreed for the price of some dark chocolate for his own mochas in the morning. I agreed, and made sure he knew what medications my grandparents had to take and when, where the blood pressure cuff was and how to use it, and the device to check my grandmother's oxygen. After that, I packed the clothes I'd need for four days, and left.
Things were going smoothly for a while. I was laughing and relaxing with my bf, watching videos he had saved to show me, and going on dates, talking and catching up. On the third day, I got a text from my brother saying that he was angry. I asked why, and he explained everything.
He said EA had showed up, and was trying to make me and my sister sound like thieves. She claimed we had gotten into some drinks meant for my uncle, who's diabetic and also lives with my grandmother. I told him I don't drink that particular brand anymore, and my sister only ever got into the milk and some cold water. I showed my bf the messages, and we both had a good laugh over it. He knew that I don't drink that particular brand, and that I enjoy a different brand altogether, so we thought it was just ridiculous.
It continued like this for a while. EA would make little comments and talk with my grandmother about certain topics, trying to make me and my sister sound like we were against her. All the while, I was doing my usual job of cooking and cleaning for her and making sure she was okay. I was pretty much untouchable in her eyes.
My mother had come by to visit for a while and make sure everything was okay one day. We talked, she helped me cook, and we just had a good time, until EA popped in unannounced. My grandmother, wanting them to fix their relationship as sisters, stopped my mother from leaving the kitchen and told them to hug. I was watching the whole thing and heard EA say something thst just made me want to yell.
"Are you gonna attack me again?"
She made herself sound like the victim, and made it seem like my mother had attacked her. They hugged, and things proceeded to get worse from there. I refused to talk to EA when she came by, and I'd watch when she started her random cleaning. If she went into my grandmother's bedroom, I'd go downstairs, watch the monitor and try to make sure she wasn't stealing anything. She coveted the camera again and again, which slowly drove me crazy. I regret not talking to her about it.
She did it again when I was on another trip to see my bf, and this time, my brother called her out on it. He told her to stop covering the camera, that it was only there to make sure my grandmother was okay at night, nothing more. According to him, EA began yelling at him and puffing her chest out over the whole thing, while my brother acted more mature and waited for her to finish. He then asked if she was done, to which she huffed. He was getting pretty angry over it. I had him tell me everything thst was going on, so I was up to date while I was gone.
This would continue for a few more weeks, and again, while I was away, EA would confront my brother, but this time, she said something thst made me lose it. My brother was telling my uncle that it probably wasn't a good idea to take a pastry with him downstairs, since it had a bunch of sugar. EA went ballistic over this and started getting in my brother's face, yelling about it and calling him a few names like r-tard, and said, and I quote, "No wonder you were bullied, you deserved it."
For context, my brother faced severe bullying when we were in school. He was thrown around, threatened, hit, and more. He also has an accent due to having multiple earaches as a baby, so sometimes, it's hard to understand him. He's a smart kid, with a good heart, and having a middle aged swamp monster with a superiority complex getting in his face and yelling at him about how stupid he was and saying he deserved to be bullied broke me and hurt him. He didn't show it, but I know it hurt him.
When I found out, I was angry, sad, and an all around mess. My bf read the messages and didn't know what to do. I was ranting and rambling angrily by this point, in tears and just about seeing red. I was getting more angry as I talked about it, completely unaware that while my bf was playing a game, he was playing with a friend, and they could hear everything. They heard my voice beginning to shake as I let out all my frustrations, and they heard how angry I was that this haggard hoghag of a woman could treat my little brother like that. I ended up crying myself to sleep that night, I was so furious.
After that, she kept coming around and trying to make all of us sound like the villains of the tale while she was the goodie two shoes. I cut all contact with her, refused to talk to her or even acknowledge her existence, and just continued to enjoy myself. My sister had some other plans
EA is diabetic, so she can't really have sugar, so my sister had an idea to pay her back, at least a little. EA had come over to open oysters with us. My grandmother had ordered them for me and my sister, because we enjoyed them so much. My sister decided to get some Popsicles from the freezer upstairs and started to eat one in front of EA. She also handed one to me, so I could enjoy too. We got some looks from EA, but I don't remember hearing her say anything. Later on, we even went so far as to make delicious chocolate chip banana bread while she was there, so she couldn't have some but had to deal with the temptation. I guess this could count as a petty revenge story, but I don't know where else to put this. I just wanted to get this story off of my chest and hear what the other petty potatoes think about this.
So, AITA for going to contact with my aunt? And for going so far as to make treats she can't have?

(I am SO sorry for the needed lengthy) Back Story & Context Leading To My Decision:
I (33F) have 1 sister, “Sam” (38F). Although we share the same parents, our childhood & the way we were treated was incredibly different. Mainly because Sam had always been favored & treated far better than me. A fact that Sam refuses to acknowledge to this day.
Before & after my parents got married, it was agreed upon that they would not have children, until one day my mother “Susan” (66F) came up with the bright idea that if she gave her parents (“Norma & Gene”) a grand-baby they would finally love her. She went off the pill without telling my father, got pregnant, then had Sam. To no one’s surprise, Susan hated being a mom. So she would ship Sam across the country to Norma & Gene’s constantly, so much so, they saw her as THEIR child. And they showered her with love that Susan never even got a taste of. This led to Susan being aggressively jealous & resentful of her child.
Years later, my dad was tricked again into having me to “save their marriage.” They divorced when I was 3. All Sam ever knew from Susan was neglect, emotional & mental abuse from Susan, which only became worse when she could use “favoring” me as another way to hurt Sam. This was NOT a secret in my family, resulting in maltreatment towards me (either subconsciously or intentionally).
Abuse toward Sam turned physical. My father was given full custody of her when I was 8, and I was left with Susan for the next 2 years until she decided she wanted to move to San Francisco because she “deserved” a more glamorous life. I do not remember the years living with Susan, but recently one of my closest friends (of 25 years) said to me I practically lived at her house & she barely interacted with Susan throughout the entirety of our friendship.
To make up for Susan being an awful parent, Norma & Gene would dote on Sam & shell out a lot of $$$ to give her a very nice life which includes but not limited to; taking her on luxury trips around the world (I was only invited on 1 in the times we lived together), Norma would write her lengthy letters to continue growing their bond, has had so much money spent on her such as down payment on her first house & paid for extravagant events such as majority of the bill for her $50,000 wedding @ 21yo, the rest my father paid for. The only time she worked before graduating with her degree was part time ONE semester in college then quit because it was “so tiring” to work & study. Want to guess who paid her bills & gave her an allowance the rest of the time? Compare this to me when I barley received a kind word. They offered me money ONCE in my early 20’s to pay off my credit card & medical debt I accrued in college as I had to pay all my own bills while working full time (I have been working since I was 15) and going to school full time. I am the only one in the family who worked in college, yet I am still the only one to graduate with honors. I accepted with the condition it would come out of my “inheritance.” I have never asked or been offered money since. I have paid for ALL my own bills since I left home @ 18 years old.
Despite the obvious disparities and constant hurt they put me through, I was an active member of the family who mainly kept her mouth shut. I attended family events unless I could not afford to go, I sent holiday gifts, called between 1-2x per month for an 1 hour+ phone call in which I most often bit my tongue unless it was to defend Sam as Norma & Susan did not agree with her parenting.
Something to note, in May 2021 my father had an accident that would lead to his passing in December 2021. The disagreements & Sam’s nastiness toward me after the accident and then his death further strained our relationship.
Fast forward to March 2023. An explosive incident at Susan’s home. Susan started berating Sam for not allowing Susan to take my oldest nephew cross country for a week. When Sam confronted her on the abuse she endured growing up, and will not subject her kids to that, Susan lost it. Not only did Susan say that Sam made that up (I have the court documents in my possession) she screamed at Sam until she began sobbing in ear shot of her 3 young kids, husband, and my step father. I stood up for Sam as always, which resulted in Susan screaming in my face “I don’t want a relationship with you” with Sam as a witness. I cut ties with Susan in that very moment, then made the family aware of my decision, and everyone, including Norma agreed to respect my decision which she later went back on.
By August 2023, my physical health that had been on a rapid decline since 2019 including 18 out of 23 (78%) of my spinal discs deteriorating without a known cause had become unbearable to manage + time I had to take off because of migraines & doctor’s appointments, I had to quit my corporate desk job. I had enough money saved to tide me over for some time, but as any US adult in their 20’s & 30’s know, it’s been rough the past few years, add in physical disabilities & limited mobility + regular migraines, I was running low on money & needed help. So at the end of December, at the encouragement & insistence of my aunt “Elizabeth” (61F & Susan’s sister) who I had become quite close with over the past few years, I went to Norma & Gene to ask for a LOAN. They had donated $25,000 to Sam’s place of worship on her behalf a few months prior, offered to buy Sam & her husband a house the year prior, paid for Elizabeth’s bills & expensive lifestyle for the last year when she was soul searching on what line of work she wanted to do next, this was after putting a down payment on Elizabeth’s new $470,000 condo + $70,000 of renovations it needed, not to mention the literal hundreds of thousands of dollars that they have given Susan over the years just to pay off her credit card debt (none of which is coming out of their inheritance might I add) she assured me they would absolutely loan their granddaughter with serious health issues money. Elizabeth would talk to them personally about it, just to seal the deal while Sam would help me find cheaper alternatives to my current necessities such as Medicaid.
I make the request, and to my surprise they are more than happy to help me with a loan. But one week later & their phone calls with Susan, they say by email they “love me but cannot continue to financially support my poor decisions.” I call Elizabeth who says, it was not in her best interest to talk to them about helping me as I am “worthless to this family and society while being disabled.” Then adds that she will not let her “mental health deteriorate just to emotionally support me.” I then immediately reach out to Sam who does not even have the guts to talk by phone only text, and says she called Susan to explain my circumstance but “wasn’t going to argue or pick a fight” to help me and that she is sorry that that she “can't show up for me the way I want her to because she needs to maintain her own mental health, relationships and boundaries.” She also threw in that I have “made up this narrative in my head” that they treat her & I different, that she is treated better. This is literally in the same conversation where I already listed how she was treated better.
That day I fully cut contact with Norma, Gene, and Elizabeth. I told them they will not be hearing from me again, and I will not be attending theirs or Susan’s funeral. And I stopped speaking with Sam for the time being. Ironically, what led us to speaking was last month (April 2024) I had begun working on an article about going No Contact with family members. I asked if I could discuss her childhood abuse in a few sentences as part of the article. She agreed and offered to give me quotes. I accepted then interviewed her. From there we began rebuilding our relationship.
Then Wednesday, May 8, Norma passes. I do not attend the funeral that happened on Friday, May 10. My two cousins who I have become very close with in the last 6 months understood why, and supported my decision. I made it clear to Sam, who told Susan I would not be attending and I had made it clear in January that when the time came, I would l not be attending their funerals. Which clearly they saw as an empty threat. But even though I did not go, I continually checked in with them & Sam to ensure they were okay. Not once from Wednesday to yesterday (Tuesday) did Sam reply to a single message. As I was concerned about this, I reached out yesterday morning. She replied in the afternoon. I was incredibly hurt by her very lengthy message. Here are 2 excerpts that led me to full NC.

1. “Your perspective on the situation was clear, you werent coming to be with the family and you arent grieving [Norma’s] death at least in the conventional sense. I had to be the one to answer from most of the family why you werent there, it was incredibly awkward and uncomfortable for me.”
2. “Since late January/Early February things have already been really strained between us. I know that most that comes from my point of view and actions were really hurtful to you. I hate that I hurt you and Its been difficult for me to reconcile that I can't show up for you the way you want me to while also maintaining my own mental health, relationships and boundaries.”

She continually says that she cannot show up for me the way I need without affecting her mental health, jeopardizing her relationship with Susan, Gene or Norma, crossing boundaries (boundaries she never clarified or explicitly said to me ONCE) and I am not someone that would ever want to hinder someone else’s life by my presence or cause inner turmoil by associating with me. I let her know this and said I will stop trying to cultivate a relationship and I will step away for good. I said it as kind as possible, taking an hour to craft a message that can only be seen as kind. I told her if she responds I will not be reading it.
I work very hard to stay positive as it’s just me to lean on. When there is something eating at me emotionally, it will drain my energy & have me spiral until it is resolved. I did not want to waste another moment feeling hurt especially when I wasted hours being angry & upset after receiving her text before crafting my reply.
My dad always preached that Sam is “far more sensitive” than me & needs to basically be treated with kid gloves despite her being almost 5 years older (he held this stance until his passing). He would have surely wanted me to apply that rule to this situation by waiting a few weeks to cut ties once she had time to process her grief. As Norma was the closest person to a loving mother Sam consistently had, I cannot help but compare it with my experience of losing my dad. If someone who always supported me esp. with any family issues, cut contact the same week he passed, it would have added a whole other layer of devastation & loneliness to an already difficult time
So, I am torn on whether it was right of me to put myself first or if I should have done what I am known & expected to do which is making Sam’s feelings the priority over mine.
ADDITIONAL ADVICE REQUESTS: 1. If anyone else has gone through a similar situation or has no immediate family, how do you handle it when having to discuss it with others? Such as explaining it to a new S/O’s, or the least complicated version to their family members or my friends who do not know the full back story but will eventually pick up on me not mentioning my sister or my nephews & niece. 2. If anyone is not able bodied or is limited to working options due to health, what you do for your full or extra income (outside of any government assistance)?
TY to all who comment &/or upvote!☺️

My Mom is basically estranged from all her siblings now, and it kind of makes me sad.
She is the youngest of seven and had many nephews and nieces on that side.
There was some huge family conflict in my family about a decade ago and it never really got solved. As you can imagine, it involved money.
My grandparents ran a modest but somewhat prosperous hipping/ trucking business that my grandpa founded in the 50s.
Upon his death in the early 80s he gave the entire thing to my grandmother, and not any of his seven kids, perhaps with impressive foresight.
Right around that time the economy was terrible and my grandma needed help and support in running it, so she turned to my uncle, who gave up a a job as a lawyer to help her run it, acting as almost CEO even though she owned it. He always ran it impressively and ethically, but could be a bit standoffish, impatient and annoyed with people, like anyone can be.
He wasn’t as forthcoming with her as he should have been, though he did nothing illegal. To make sure there was oversight, she brought in my mom and other 5 siblings as overseers. Big mistake.
Some immediately accused my uncle of deceit and theft, though he never did that. Within short order they tried to remove him from leadership and sell the company so they themslevs could have more money.
I got the sense that a lot of their actions wasn’t concern over ethics or how the business was run or even the business at all. A lot of it stemmed from personal avarice, desire for more, a sense my grandparents weren’t fair to everyone and just plain envy.
My mom was the one who stopped the dissolution of the successful business. Because it was my grandmas wish, because my disabled ( autistic) uncle worked and had a home there, and because there was a strong community of employees there whose lives/ livelihoods were being trifled with by my relatives.
In spite of or peraps because of my moms ethical stance, she was shunned by my aunts, and our family excluded from events. None of my relatives have been willing to entertain idea they were misguided.
could there he hope for reconciliation? thoughys pleaze!
Sometime around a de

Salaam all!
I've attempted to compile the "do's and don'ts" of the Qur'an, the following list is all OC. I very likely have made some mistakes/errors in judgment whilst compiling - or missed things out, so please do comment and point things out, i'll edit the post.
Enjoy :)

﷽

Do this:

Serve God (1:5)
Ask God for help (1:5)
Believe in Unseen (2:3)
Uphold the salāt (2:3)
Believe in the Qur’an and what preceded it (2:4)
Be certain of the Hereafter (2:4)
If in doubt, bring a Surah like it (2:23)
If there comes to you guidance from Him, follow it (2:38)
Render the zakāt (2:43)
Be in ruku’ (2:43)
Use reason (2:44)
Seek help in patience and salāt (2:45)
Consider your meeting with the Lord (2:46)
Be in prudent fear of the judgment day (2:48)
Trust in God, the last day, and do good (2:62)
Be good to parents (2:83)
Be good to kin, fatherless or the poor (2:83)
Be in prudent fear (2:103)
Say “look at us” (2:104)
Pardon and forbear (2:109)
Send good ahead (2:110)
Bring proof of claims (2:111)
Submit to God (2:112)
Do Good (2:82)
Trust in God and the last day (2:126)
Hold to the creed of Abraham (2:135)
Say that you trust in Him, what He has sent down (2:136)
Make no distinction between the prophets (2:136)
Immerse in Him (2:138)
Respond to those who say that Abraham (and descendants) were Christians/Jews with “know you better, or does God?” (2:140)
Direct your face to the inviolable place of worship wherever you are (2:144)
Remember Him (2:152)
Be grateful to Him (2:152)
Be patient (2:153)
Bear glad tidings to the patient (2:155)
Repent / Ask forgiveness (2:160)
Love Him (2:165)
Eat what is halāl or tayyeb (2:168)
Trust in Him, the last day, the angels, the Writ, the prophets (2:177)
Give wealth to relatives, the fatherless, the needy, and the wayfarer (2:177)
Manumit slaves (2:177)
Keep a covenant when you make it (2:177)
Qisās ‘prescribed’ (2:178)
Pay blood-money if no Qisās (2:178)
Will ‘prescribed’ (2:180)
Make right when you notice testator partiality (2:182)
Fasting in general ‘prescribed’ (2:183)
If sick or on journey, carry fasting forward (2:184)
Pay fidya if fast missed (2:184)
Fast in Ramadān (2:185)
Respond to Him (2:186)
Trust Him (2:186)
Lie with women after fasting (2:187)
Seek what he prescribed (2:187)
Eat and drink until the white thead is clear from the dark, then fast till sunset (2:187)
Approach houses by doors (2:189)
Fight those who fight you (2:190)
Kill those who fight you (2:191)
Turn out those who turned you out (2:191)
Don’t fight in the inviolable masjid until fought (2:191)
Fight until they desist, or until the end of fitnah (2:193)
Qisās in the sacred months (2:194)
Spend in His cause (2:195)
Do the hajj (2:196)
Do the offering of animals if not possible (2:196)
If sick, or hindrance of the head: redemption by fasting, charity, or penance (2:196)
If cannot attend, fast three days during it, the seven days upon return, save if family is permanently resident on site (2:196)
Take provision (2:197)
Remember Him at al-mash’ar al-harām (2:198)
Pour forth from where men have poured forth (2:199)
Remember Him like the remembrance of your father or stronger, after rites finished (2:200)
Ask Him to give you good in the World and Hereafter, and to protect you from the punishment (2:201)
Sell yourself for Him (2:207)
Enter into submission completely (2:208)
Fighting ‘prescribed’ (2:216)
Trust (2:218)
Emigrate (2:218)
Strive in His cause (2:218)
Hope for his mercy (2:218)
Spend the surplus (2:219)
Approach purified women in the correct manner (2:222)
Purify yourself (2:222)
Bear glad tidings to the mu’minūn (2:223)
Wait four months after foreswearing women (2:226)
Divorced women wait themselves for three menstrural courses (2:228)
When divorcing, retain them or release them (2:231)
Remember His favour (2:231)
Children are suckled for two ‘haūl’ (2:233)
Father provides provision and clothing (2:233)
Widows must wait for 4 months and ten days (2:234)
When divorcing her and you haven’t touched her nor appointed an obligation for her, make her a gift (2:236)
If they have an obligation appointed, then give half, unless forgoed (2:237)
Don’t forget the bounty between you two (2:237)
Preserve the salawāt (2:238)
Stand up for God humbly obedient (2:238)
If in fear, waking or riding (2:239)
Widows are to recieve one years maintenance with no expulsion (2:240)
Divorced women recieve provision (2:241)
Fight in His cause (2:244)
Spend of what He provided (2:254)
Deny tāghūt (2:257)
Spend in His cause (2:261)
Give up usury (2:278)
Defer money return until ease upon borrower (2:280)
[Follow debt contract instructions] (2:282)
If on journey and no writer, then a pledge in hand (2:283)
Make no distinction between messengers (2:285)
Obey Him (2:285)
Be truthful (3:17)
Seek forgiveness at dawn (3:17)
Be obedient (3:17)
Bear witness that there is no God save He (3:18)
Ask those given the writ and the unschooled if they’ve submitted (3:20)
Obey Him and the Messenger (3:32)
If they turn away, bear witness that you are submitting (3:64)
Fulfil your covenant (3:76)
Make no distinction between the prophets (3:84)
Spend of what you love (3:92)
Make pilgrimage to the house (3:97)
Hold fast to Him (3:101)
Hold fast to the rope of God together (3:103)
Have a community that invites to God, enjoins what is fitting, and forbids perversity (3:104)
Compete in good deeds (3:114)
Place trust in Him (3:122)
Be in prudent fear of the fire (3:131)
Vie with each other for forgiveness (3:133)
Control wrath (3:134)
Travel in the Earth to see the final outcome of the deniers (3:137)
Seek His approval (3:162)
Respond to God after injury befalls (3:172)
Fear Him (3:175)
Remember Allah standing, sitting, on the sides; reflect on the creation (3:191)
Be steady (3:200)
Give the fatherless their property (4:2)
If there is an injustice of the fatherless, then perform polygamy (4:3)
Give women their dowries (4:4)
If they remit anything voluntarily, then consume it with satisfaction and pleasure (4:4)
Feed and clothe the incompetent (4:5)
Test the fatherless when they reach marriage, if they are sound then give their property with witnesses (4:6)
Men/Women have a designated share of what parents/relatives leave (4:7)
If the fatherless and needy are at the site of division, then give part of what is left (4:8)
[Inheritance laws] (4:12-13)
[*] (4:15-16)
If you can’t marry free women, then from MMA of believing maids, marry them with the leave of their people (4:25)
MMA are due half the punishment of free women if they commit fāhisha (4:25)
Avoid enormities of whats forbidden (4:31)
For men and women is a share of what they earned (4:32)
Give shares to those whom your oaths have bound (4:33)
Men have responsibility over women (4:34)
Women are to be humbly obedient and keeping unseen what God keeps (4:34)
If you fear contempt from your women, then admonish them, and leave in beds apart, and [*] them – save that they obey you (4:34)
If a breach is feared, then an arbitrator from both sides are to be raised (4:35)
Good conduct towards relatives, the fatherless, the needy, the neighbour, the companion, the wayfarers, and MMA (4:36)
Spend of what Allah provides (4:39)
If you are ill, on a journey, have defecated, or had intercourse, and find not water, then perform tayammum (4:43)
Deliver trusts to owners and judge with justice (4:58)
Obey those in authority amongst you (4:59)
If you differ in a matter, refer to God and the Messenger (4:59)
Turn away from munāfiqūn, and admonish them (4:63)
Ask the messenger to ask forgiveness for you (4:64)
Take precaution and advance in groups/together (4:71)
Fight satan’s allies (4:76)
Consider the Qur’an with care (4:82)
Interceding in a good cause (4:85)
When you are greeted, return it, or greet with something greater (4:86)
Take not that munāfiqūn as allies until they emigrate in His cause, if they turn back then kill them (4:89)
If they withdraw and offer peace, you have no path against them (4:90)
Accidental murder of a mu’min: Manumit a mu’min slave and give blood-momey to family – save forgiveness (4:92)
Fast two months consecutively if not possible (4:92)
Verify/investigate when you go forth in His cause (4:94)
When you are amongst them then perform the salāt for them[follow procedure mentioned] (4:102)
When that salāt is concluded, remember Him standing, sitting, on the sides, and when at ease (4:103)
The salāt is required to be performed at set times for the mu’minūn (4:103)
Submit your face to Him, do good, follow the creed of Abraham (4:125)
Stand up for equity for the fatherless (4:127)
Be witnesses to God (4:135)
Bear tidings to the munāfiqūn (4:138)
Desist from tritheism (4:171)
[Kalalah inheritance] (4:176)
Fulfil contracts (5:1)
Assist one another to virtue (5:2)
Eat from what is caught by what you have trained of animals of prey as trainers (5:4)
When you rise for the prayer, wash the face, the hands, the arm, and the feet to the ankles (5:6)
If you are unclean, then purify yourself (5:6)
Lend to God a goodly loan (5:12)
Bury after death? (5:31)
If one wages war against God and His messenger, and work corruption in the land: Then kill them, or crucify [or put to death by stake] them, ot their hands and feet be cut off, or they be banished (5:33)
Seek to Him the means of approach (5:35)
[Punishment for stealing] (5:38)
Let ahl al-injīl judge by what God sent (5:47)
Take Him, His messenger, and those who trusted as allies (5:56)
Be moderate (5:66)
Prevent one another from performing perversity (5:79)
Eat of what God has provided from what is lawful and good (5:88)
[Oath expiation] (5:89)
Avoid khamr, games of change, altars, and divining arrows (5:90)
Bear responsibility for yourself (5:105)
[Testimony after death] (5:106)
Listen (5:108)
Travel in the Earth to see the final outcomes of the deniers (6:11)
Use reason (6:32)
Call to Him (6:41)
Humble yourself (6:43)
Turn in repentance after committing evil by ignorance (6:54)
Measure God with the measure due (6:91)
Preserve your salāt (6:92)
Leave those who fabricate, and what they fabricate (6:112)
Eat over which His name has been remembered (6:118)
Leave the outwardness and the inwardness of sin (6:120)
Work according to your power (6:135)
Render due on day of harvest (6:141)
Inform with knowledge when making claim (6:143)
Follow the straight path (6:153)
Dedicate your salāt, penance, your living, and your dying to Him (6:162)
Uphold countenances at every place of submission (7:29)
Call to Him sincere in doctrine (7:29)
Take your adornment at every place of submission (7:31)
Acknowledge Messengers when they come (7:35)
Call to Him humbly and in secret (7:55)
Be patient for the judgment (7:87)
Repent and believe after evil deeds (7:153)
Follow the unschooled prophet (7:157)
Forbid evil (7:165)
Use your [metaphoric] senses (7:179)
Call to Him by his names (7:180)
Call your partners and see if they respond (7:194)
Seek refuge in Him from the satan, if provoked (7:200)
Heed to the Qur’an and listen attentively (7:204)
Reserve spoils for God and His messenger (8:1)
Make right in what is between you (8:1)
Respond to Him and His messenger when He calls you to what gives you life (8:24)
Fight until no fitnah (8:39)
If they turn away know that He’s your protector (8:40)
What you obtain of spoils, a fifth belongs to God, His messenger, relatives, fatherless, the poor, and wayfarer (8:41)
If you fear treachery, cast them back (8:58)
Prepare forces and calvary to terrify them (8:60)
If they incline to peace, then incline to it (8:61)
Consume what you took of spoils (8:69)
Strive with four property and lives (8:72)
Help those who seek help within the deen (8:72)
Bear tidings to those in kufr of a painful punishment (9:3)
Kill, seize, ambush, and restrain the mushrikīn once the inviolable months have passed (9:5)
Release them if they repent, and perform the prayer, and render the zakāt (9:5)
If a mushrik seeks protection, grant it,.until he hears His words; then escort to his secure place (9:6)
Fight those who make not unlawful what is unlawful (9:29)
Fight until the jizya is payed (9:29)
Give the Rabbis and Monks tidings of a painful punishment (9:34)
Please Him (9:62)
Let them be (9:95)
Act (9:105)
Rejoice in the contracted bargain with Him (9:111)
Keep His limits (9:112)
Be with the truthful (9:119)
Fight the kufār close to you (9:123)
Be harsh with them (9:123)
Serve Him (10:3)
If they challenge the Qur’an, ask them to bring a Surah like it (10:38)
Declare yourself quit of them (10:41)
Consider that the punishment can come at any time (10:50)
Take a straight path (10:89)
Look at what is in the heavens and the Earth (10:101)
Humble yourself unto Him (11:23)
Be clement, compassionate, penitent (11:75)
Be right-minded (11:78)
Right ordering (11:88)
Watch (11:93)
Fear the punishment of the hereafter (11:103)
Uphold the prayer at both ends of the day, and at the night’s approach (11:114)
Forbid corruption (11:116)
Use reason (12:2)
Pick imprisonment over sexual immorality (12:33)
Invite to Him with insight (12:108)
Respond to Him (13:18)
Join what’s commanded to be joined (13:21)
Avert evil with good (13:22)
Find rest in remembrance (13:28)
Be patient wherein you are hindered (14:12)
Fear His station (14:14)
Speak a good word (14:24)
Leave them to enjoy themselves (15:3)
Give glory (15:98)
Warn that there is no God save Him (16:2)
Be virtuous (16:32)
Ask the people of the remembrance if you know not (16:43)
When you recite the Qur’an, seek refuge from the accursed satan (16:98)
Falsely declare things to be lawful/unlawful (16:116)
Repent, despite committing evil out of ignorance (16:119)
Invite with wisdom, comely admonition, and dispute with what is best (16:125)
Retaliate with the like of what wherewith you are harmed, save that you forgive (16:126)
Strive for the hereafter (17:19)
Good conduct to parents (17:23)
Speak to them a noble word (17:23)
Be gentle with them and make supplication for them (17:24)
Speak a gentle word to those who need charity, but you can’t provide (17:28)
Weigh with the straight balance (17:35)
Recite the Qur’an (17:45)
Say that which is best (17:53)
Uphold the prayer at the merging of the sun until the dark of the night (17:78)
Recite at dawn (17:78)
Keep a vigil with some of the night (17:79)
Ask God to cause you to enter a true entrance and to leave at a true exit (17;80)
Declare that truth has come, and vanity is to pass (17:81)
Declare Him a sufficient witness (17:96)
Perform salāt at a medium volume (17:110)
Whoso wills, let them believe – and vice versa (18:29)
Be steadfast in His ‘ibādah (19:65)
Eat and attend to your cattle (20:54)
Give glory before rising of the sun, before it’s setting, some of the night, and at two ends of the day (20:130)
Extend your eyes towards what has been granted to others (20:131)
Call in hope and fear (21:90)
Be a righteous servant (21:105)
Feed the unfortunate poor (22:28)
Make an end of unkemptness (22:29)
Fulfil vows (22:29)
Walk around that ancient house (22:29)
Honour the sacred things (22:30)
Avoid false speech and abomination of idols (22:30)
Incline to Him (22:31)
Honour the tokens of God (22:32)
Sacrifice at ancient house (22:33)
Remember His name over camels when they are in lines (22:36)
When their flanks collapse, eat thereof and feed the reticent poor and the beggar (22:36)
Be in ruku’, and sujood (22:77)
Be a mu’min (23:1)
Be humble in salāt (23:2)
Preserve chastity (23:5)
Preserve your salawāt (23:9)
Leave them in their flood of ignorance, for a time (23:54)
Have a heavy balance (23:102)
Lash the unchaste woman and the unchaste man each with 100 lashes, have no pity on them, and let it be witnessed by mu’minūn (24:2)
Lash those who accuse chaste women with insufficient witnesses with 80 lashes, and never accept them as a witness (24:4)
If you, as a visitor, are asked to leave, then leave (24:28)
If you are a man, lower your gaze (24:30)
As a woman, you should also lower the gaze, you must additionally not reveal adornment except what I’d apparent, and you should cover the bosom [except to listed people] (24:31)
Give in marriage the unmarried (24:32)
Abstain if you find not marriage (24:33)
Emancipate those who seek it, if there is good in them, and give them of your wealth (24:33)
Declare allegiance (24:51)
If you are part of one’s right hand possessions, or one who has not reached puberty yet, then – ask permission before entering at the three times of their nakedness (24:58)
Greet with a greeting from God (24:61)
Rest at night (25:47)
Walk modestly (25:63)
Speak peace when addressed by ignorants (25:63)
Spend the night standing and in sujūd (25:64)
Seek a middle ground when spending, if you must (25:63)
Pass by vain speech with dignity (25:72)
Request to Him that your wives and progeny be made a comfort, and make you a good model (25:74)
Obey the command of the committers of excess (26:151)
Warn relatives (26:214)
Help people out (28:25)
Seek provision with Him (29:17)
Discover how He originated creation (29:20)
Reflect within yourself (30:8)
Provide to MMA (30:28)
Set yourself towards the right natural deen (30:30)
Desire His face (30:38)
Prepare for yourself (30:44)
Grateful to parents (31:14)
Be modest in walk (31:19)
Lower the voice (31:19)
Fall in sujūd when reminded of proofs (32:15)
Forsake your bed (32:16)
Call the adopted children by their fathers (33:5)
Take the messenger as a model
Stay within houses [prophet wives] (33:33)
Give glory morning and evening (33:42)
Give those whom you divorce before consummation provision (33:49)
[Historic conduct regarding prophet’s house] (33:53)
Greet the prophet with a valuation (33:56)
Women draw down over themselves some garments, for recognition (33:59)
Stand up for God in twos and alone, then reflect (34:46)
Let the workers work (37:61)
Remember David, the repentant (38:17)
Be humbly obedient in the watches of the night (39:9)
Hope for His mercy (39:9)
Expand your breast to submission (39:22)
Experience a positive reaction to the Qur’an (39:23)
Come with the truth and live in accordance to it (39:33)
Follow the best of what is sent down (39:55)
Invite to your Lord (41:33)
Grow not weary in giving glory (41:38)
Take the Qur’an as a healing (41:44)
Defer disputes to His judgement (42:10)
Uphold the Deen (42:13)
Be in dread of the hour (42:18)
Love your kin (42:23)
Avoid enormities of sin and immorality (42:37)
Conduct affairs by mutual consultation (42:38)
Help yourself when insolence visits (42:39)
Remember His favour once settled on cattle (43:13)
Watch for the day of the obvious smoke (44:10)
Watch (44:59)
Forgive those who look not for His days (45:14)
Follow the sharī’a (45:18)
Keep to the path (46:13)
[Say what is mentioned upon reaching fourty] (46:15)
Believe in what was sent down upon Muhammad (47:2)
Smite the necks of those in kufr when in battle (47:4)
Grace or ransom war captives (47:4)
Help Him (47:7)
Be obedient (47:21)
Consider the Qur’an with care (47:24)
Sue for peace when you have the upper hand (47:35)
Honour the messenger (48:9)
Be hard against those in kufr (48:29)
Lower voice in presence of messenger (49:3)
Verify the report of a perfidious one (49:6)
Make right between groups of mu’minūn (49:9)
Fight the oppressive group (49:9)
Make right between brothers (49:10)
Preserve modesty and duties (50:32)
Give ear with a conscious mind (50:37)
Glorify at the ends of the sujūd (50:40)
Listen for the day that the Caller will call from near (50:41)
Sleep little of the night (51:17)
Ask forgiveness before break of day (51:18)
Give glory when arising (52:48)
Give glory at the retreat of the stars (52:49)
Remember the ayah of the ark (54:15)
Remember the Qur’an, which is easy for remembrance (54:17)
Remember destruction of sects (54:51)
Fear His standing (55:46)
Aim to be of the sābiqūn (56:10)
Touch the Qur’an only when purified (56:79)
Aim to be of the muqarrabūn (56:88)
Fight before victories (57:10)
Lend to Him a goodly loan (57:11)
Compete for forgiveness (57:21)
Observe good/neutral innovations with due observation (57:27)
If you go back on what you have said, then free a slave before touching [other circumstances in next verse] (58:3)
When engaging in private conversation, don’t allow it to be of a sinful kind (58:9)
Make room in the assemblies when instructed; arise when instructed (58:11)
[Charity before conversation with messenger historically] (58:12)
What the messenger gives you, take it [and opposite] (59:7)
Protect from avarice of the nafs (59:9)
Look to what you have sent ahead for the morrow (59:18)
Take Abraham and his companions as good models [see full verse] (60:4)
Examine the emigrated women, to determine their faith; if they are mu’mināt, send them not back (60:10)
Return the mahr to those whom have had wives flee to kuffār (60:11)
Fight in compacted ranks (61:4)
When the call for the Friday salāt is heard, hasten to it (62:9)
Disperse upon completion, seek His bounty (62:10)
Spend before death arrives (63:10)
Beware of enemies amongst wives and children (64:14)
Listen to the Qur’an (64:16)
Count waiting period after divorce (65:1)
Turn not divorcees out of house, unless they commit immorality (65:1)
Seperation to be witnessed by two just men (65:2)
If no menstruation, count three months (65:4)
If pregnant, wait until end (65:4)
Lodge then where you are, according to means, don’t press them (65:6)
Spend if they have a child, until delivered (65:6)
If they suckle, give them their reward; consult honourably (65:6)
If difficulties between you, let another suckle (65:6)
Let him with abundance spend out of it (65:7)
Fear your Lord while unseen (67:12)
Walk in the tracts (67:15)
Be patient with comely patience (70:5)
Be constant in your salāt (70:23)
Confirm.the day of judgment (70:26)
Be in dread of the punishment (70:27)
Be upright in your witness (70:33)
Preserve you salāt (70:34)
Follow the broad ways of the Earth (71:20)
Recite the Qur’an distinctly (73:4)
Devote yourself completely to Him (73:8)
Recite what is made easy of the Qur’an (73:20)
Magnify Him (74:3)
Purify your garments (74:4)
Foresake defilement (74:5)
Give food out of love of Him to the prisoner (76:8)
Seek a way to paradise (76:18)
Remember His name morning and evening (76:25)
If you have a plan then plan against Him [challenge] (77:39)
Be lowly (77:48)
Take the day as a living (78:11)
Take your Lord as a journey’s end (78:39)
Fear His station (79:40)
Let aspire those who aspire (83:26)
Let look at what you are created from (86:5)
Take heed (87:10)
Purify yourself (87:14)
Remember His name (87:15)
Look at the creation of the camel, sky, mountain, Earth (88:20)
Free a slave (90:13)
Feed in a day of starvation a fatherless relation, or a needy one in misery (90:16)
Counsel one another to compassion (90:17)
Increase the nafs in purity (91:9)
Confirm the best (92:6)
Recount His favour (93:11)
When unoccupied, make ready (94:7)
Turn your desire to Him (94:8)
Enjoin prudent fear (96:12)
Draw near (96:19)
Be pleased with Him (98:8)
Have a heavy balance (101:6)
Counsel each other to truth (103:3)
Sacrifice (108:2)
Declare that you serve not what those in kufr serve (109:2)
Declare the oneness.of Him (112:1)
Seek refuge in Him from the evil of what He created, the darkness, the blowers on knots, and the envier (113:5)
Seek refuge from the evil of the retreating whisperer (114:4)

Don’t do this:

Buy error at the price of guidance (2:16)
Make equals with God (2:22)
Deny before bringing a surah like it (2:24)
Break the agreement (2:27)
Work corruption in the land (2:27)
Deny the āyāt (2:39)
Conceal truth knowingly (2:42)
Enjoin virtue and forget yourselves (2:44)
Ask to see/interact with Him openly (2:55)
Change the saying (2:59)
Complain (2:61)
Kill prophets (2:61)
Exceed bounds / Transgress (2:61)
Transgress the Sabbath (2:65)
Ask unnecessary/excessive questions (2:71)
Assume (2:78)
Fabricate a kitāb, claiming it’s from God (2:79)
Ascribe what you know not (2:80)
Allow offenses to encompass you (2:81)
Kill amongst you and turn out of homes (2:84)
Assist in sin (2:85)
Believe in part of the kitāb and reject the rest (2:85)
Buy this life over the hereafter (2:86)
Wax proud (2:87)
Claim that your heart is covered (2:88)
Deny what God has sent (2:90)
Ignore/Deny clear signs (2:92)
Commit shirk (2:96)
Be an enemy to Him, angels, messenger, or Gabriel and Michael (2:98)
Practice sihr (2:102)
Say “attend to us” (2:104)
Ask Muhammad the same way that Moses was asked (2:108)
Exchange security for kufr (2:108)
Attempt to bring people into kufr (2:109)
Claim who enters paradise (2:111)
Hinder places places of worship (2:114)
Say that He has a son (2:116)
Follow vain desires (2:120)
Be in kufr (2:126)
Be averse to the creed of Abraham (2:130)
Die save you are submitting (2:132)
Conceal witness from Him (2:140)
Say that those matyred are dead (2:154)
Follow the footsteps of shaytān (2:168)
Commit evil (2:169)
Commit the immorality (2:169)
Follow/Trust forefathers blindly (2:170)
Eat carrion, blood, or flesh of al-khinzīr (2:173)
Eat what is dedicated to other than Him (2:173)
Buy punishment at the price of forgiveness (2:175)
Differ concerning the kitāb (2:176)
Transgress after qisās settlement (2:178)
Change the will (2:181)
Lie with women when remaining in masājid (2:187)
Consume wealth in vanity (2:188)
Bribery (2:188)
Shave head until animal is at slaughter place (2:196)
Destroy yourself (2:195)
Have sex, do perfidity, or quarrel during hajj (2:197)
Ask God to give to you in the World (2:200)
Complete the hajj in less than two days (2:203)
Destroy tilth and progeny (2:205)
Have pride in sin (2:206)
Exchange favour of God for denial (2:211)
Fight in the sacred months (2:217)
Expel those of the inviolable masjid (2:217)
Consume khamr or engage in games of chance (2:219)
Marry mushrikīn until they are safe from calling to hell (2:221)
Approach women during menstruation (2:222)
Make God a cover for oaths (2:224)
Conceal pregnancy (2:228)
Take what you have given women unless they cannot uphold the limits (2:229)
Transgress the limits of God (2:229)
Remarriage not lawful till she marries someone else (2:230)
Retain women through harm (2:231)
Take ayāt in mockery (2:231)
Constrain not those whom you divorce from marrying spouses (2:232)
Allow a mothefather to be harmed by child (2:233)
Take an oath with those whom you intimated of women regarding proposal, save you speak a fitting word (2:235)
Decide upon knot of marriage until writ reaches it’s term (2:235)
Force others into the doctrine (2:256)
Hinder (2:262)
Commit immortality (2:268)
Consume usury (2:275)
Commit sin (2:276)
Conceal the witness (2:283)
Seek the interpretation of what is ambiguous, seeking fitnah (3:7)
Kill those who enjoin equity (3:21)
Say that the fire will touch for days numbered (3:24)
Take kāfirūn as allies (3:28)
Engage in scheming (3:54)
Dispute regarding what you have no knowledge in (3:66)
Clothe truth in vanity (3:71)
Seek outside the doctrine of God (3:83)
Deny after faith (3:86)
Obey a faction of those given the writ (3:100)
Be divided (3:103)
Take intimatez other than your own (3:118)
Consume usury (3:130)
Faint/Grieve (3:139)
Assume entry to jannah (3:142)
Weaken/Yield (3:146)
Be like those in kufr, who believe that different circumstances would have saved their brothers (3:156)
Coercion (3:161)
Incur His wrath (3:162)
Say with your mouths what isn’t in your heart (3:167)
Think that those killed in his cause are dead (3:169)
Fear not Satan’s allies (3:175)
Buy denial at the price of faith (3:177)
Be miserly with what God gives of His bounty (3:180)
Say that God is poor (3:181)
Having pride and pretending (3:188)
Exchange your bad things for their [fatherless] good things (4:2)
Polygamy if you fear that the fatherless will not be justly treated (4:3)
Give the incompetent your wealth (4:5)
Consume the property of the fatherless wastefully/hastily (4:6)
Try repent last minute (4:18)
Inheriting from/Constraining wiomen against their will – save that they commit fāhisha (4:19)
Take from the fortune that you gave your first wife for your new wife (4:20)
Marrying what your fathers married (4:22)
Marrying your mothers, daughters, sisters, p/m aunts, nieces, milk-mothers, milk-sisters, mothers-in-law, step-daughters under protection, daughters-in-law, being in wedlock with two biological sisters simultaneously (4:23)
Marrying married women – save MMA (4:24)
Take secret friends (4:25)
Kill those amongst you (4:29)
Consume wealth in vanity (4:29)
Wish for that by which Allah has made some of you exceed others (4:32)
Being a conceited boaster (4:36)
Being miserly and enjoining miserliness (4:37)
Spend wealth for recognition (4:38)
Oppose the messenger (4:42)
Approaching the salāt when intoxicated or unclean – save passing by upon the path – until you wash (4:43)
Twist tongue and slander the Deen (4:46)
Beliefs in fictions and tāghūt (4:51)
Envy the bounty of others (4:54)
Referring legislation to tāghūt (4:60)
Staying behind from fighting (4:72)
Try hiding away (4:78)
Conspiring (4:81)
Leaking information regarding public safety (4:83)
Interceding in an evil cause (4:85)
Killing a mu’min on purpose (4:92)
If one greets with peace, don’t declare them a non-mu’min (4:94)
Being sedentary (4:95)
Making excuses about being oppressed, to justify wronging their souls (4:97)
Faint in seeking the people (4:104)
Advocating for the treacherous (4:105)
Argue on behalf of those who decieve themselves (4:107)
Commit an offense upon an innocent (4:122)
Make a breach with the messenger after the guidance is clear (4:115)
Following desires, changing the creation (4:119)
Incline towards only one wife, leaving the other hanging (4:129)
Distort/Evade (4:135)
Wavering (4:137)
Sit with those who discourse vainly concerning the proofs of God until they move to another subject (4:140)
Seel to decieve God (4:142)
Performing the salāt to be seen (4:142)
Public mention of evil, save when wronged (4:148)
‘Choosing’ messengers (4:150)
Ask to see God (4:153)
Be tritheistic (4:171)
Hunt when forbidden (5:1)
Violate the tokens of God, or the inviolable month, or the offering, or the necklaces, or the visitors (5:2)
Commit injustice to those who turned you out of the inviolable place of worship (5:2)
Consume the strangled, the beaten, the fallen, the gored, that eaten by the beast of prey – save what is slaughtered, that sacrificed upon the alter (5:3)
Seek apportionment by divining arrows (5:3)
Deny the faith (5:5)
Claim that God is the Messiah, son of Mary (5:17)
Claim that you are His sons and beloved (5:18)
Kill another soul (5:30)
Fear mankind (5:44)
Take the Jews and Christians as allies (5:51)
Take those who take the dīn in mockery as allies (5:57)
Take the call to the salāt in mockery (5:58)
Claim that His hand is fettered (5:64)
Forbid the good things made lawful (5:87)
Kill game when forbidden (5:95)
[Expiation for killing] (5:95)
Ask about things that would distress you if made clear (5:101)
Follow forefathers (5:104)
Declare clear signs to be sorcery (5:110)
Take Jesus and Mary as gods (5:116)
Ask for angels (6:8)
Mock messengers (6:10)
Be among the mushrikīn (6:14)
Oppose Him (6:15)
Be a wrongdoer (6:21)
Declare the Qur’an to be be legend (6:25)
Claim that there is only one life (6:29)
Denial of the meeting (6:31)
Of the ignorant (6:35)
Call to other than Him (6:40)
Take an intercessor besides Him (6:51)
Drive away those seeking His face (6:52)
Sit with those who discourse vainly concerning His proofs (6:68)
Take your deen as play and diversion 6:70)
Clothe the faith with injustice (6:82)
Deny the Writ, judgment, and prophethood (6:89)
Claim revelation (6:93)
Be deluded (6:95)
Make the jinn partners of God (6:100)
Revile those whom are called besides Him (6:108)
Seek other than Him.as a judge (6:114)
Be of the doubtful (6:114)
Obey most on Earth (6:116)
Lead astray by vain desires without knowledge (6:119)
Eat not that over which His name has not been remembered (6:121)
Assigning a share of His creation to partners (6:136)
Declaring things to be taboo (6:138)
Kill your children (6:140)
Make unlawful what He has provided you (6:140)
Commit excess (6:141)
Approach open or concealed immorality (6:151)
Follow other ways (6:153)
Wait for angels (6:158)
Divide the deen into sects (6:159)
Allow the satan to subject you to fitnah (7:27)
Commit excess when eating and drinking (7:31)
Make unlawful the adornment of God (7:32)
Sectarian zealotry (7:33)
Wax proud at proofs (7:36)
Be a mujrim (7:40)
Seek to make His path crooked (7:45)
Name names with no authority (7:71)
Scorn His command (7:77)
Approach men with lust, rather than women (7:80)
Lie in wait on the road, threatening and turning away from The Path (7:86)
Being blind to lessons (7:95)
Bribe using promise of power (7:114)
Bewitch people (7:116)
Be stubborn (7:132)
Be heedless of proofs (7:136)
Follow that path of the workers of corruption (7:142)
Take the wrong path, ignore the path of sound judgment (7:146)
Be impatient over His command (7:150)
Be a forger (7:152)
Scorn what you’ve been forbidden.(7:166)
Deviate concerning His names (7:180)
Public speech (7:205)
Dispute the truth after it’s clear (8:6)
Retreat (8:15)
Turn away when you are near (8:20)
Pretend to hear (8:21)
Betray (8:27)
Turn away from the inviolable place of submission (8:34)
Make a mockery of the salāt (8:35)
Spend wealth on turning away from path of God (8:36)
Dispute together (8:46)
Be boastful (8:47)
Let those in kufr believe that they got away (8:59)
Bear tidings of a painful punishment to the mushrikīn with whom a covenant has been made, who haven’t been deficient towards you in anything, nor assisted anyone against you (9:4)
Allow your beloved things to be dearer to you than Him and His messenger (9:24)
Allow the mushrikīn to approach the inviolable place of submission (9:28)
Take Rabbis and Monks as lords (9:31)
Wrong yourselves concerning the count of months (9:36)
Engage in their postponement (9:37)
Spend unwillingly (9:54)
Come to the prayer as an idler (9:54)
Allow their wealth and children to impress you (9:55)
Complain regarding charity distribution (9:58)
Hinder the prophet (9:61)
Enjoin perversity and forbid what is fitting (9:67)
Withhold His bounty and turn away (9:76)
Deride the believers who willingly give charity (9:79)
Remain behind due to weather (9:81)
Perform the funeral prayer for any one of them (9:84)
Staying behind due to affluence (9:86)
Make excuses (9:94)
Take what you spend as a loss, await reversals (9:98)
Take a place of submission in harm and denial (9:107)
Ask forgiveness for the mushrikīn (9:113)
Go forth all at once (9:122)
Look not for the meeting (10:7)
Neglect after being helped (10:12)
Desire for the Qur’an to be changed (10:15)
Rebel in the Earth after being delivered (10:23)
Deny before interpretation arrives to you (10:39)
Allow their speech to grieve you (10:65)
Repent too late (10:91)
Hide away (11:5)
Wish that a treasure or an angel had been sent upon him.(11:12)
Make the path crooked (11:19)
Dismiss on basis of mortality and lack of bounty (11:27)
Claim that your deity caused messenger to be touched with evil (11:54)
Follow that command of tyrants (11:59)
Heed due to their disappointment (11:62)
Decrease the measure and the balance (11:84)
Respevt others for power more than you do Him (11:92)
Rely upon those who do wrong (11:113)
Reveal dreams that could cause enmity (12:5)
Falsify evidence (12:18)
Sexual assault (12:23)
Despair of the comfort of God (12:87)
Deny physical resurrection (13:5)
Seek to hasten the evil instead of the good (13:6)
Sever what’s commanded to be joined (13:25)
Become bored when being presented with ayāt (14:9)
Threaten to expell warners (14:13)
Respond to Satan (14:22)
Speak a bad word (14:26)
Ignore similitudes (14:45)
Be of those who despair (15:55)
Refuse to provide rights and hospitality (15:70)
Build bunkers to feel secure from Him (15:82)
Make the Qur’an into parts (15:91)
Seek to hasten the command (16:1)
Be an open disputant (16:4)
Offer submission too late (16:28)
Appoint daughters for Him (16:57)
Refuse to give provision to those that their right hands posses (16:71)
Make conceptual comparisons for God (16:74)
Be a burden (16:76)
Take oaths as deception (16:92)
Take another disposer of affairs (17:2)
Being hasty (17:11)
Be perfidious (17:16)
Say “fie” to / Repell old parents (17:23)
Squander wastefully (17:26)
Be extreme on both ends of charity (17:29)
Kill your children for fear of poverty (17:31)
Approach zina (17:32)
Commit excess in lawful killing (17:33)
Walk exultantly (17:37)
Be neither loud nor quiet in salāt (17:110)
Say that you will do something later without declaring that it’s dependant upon God’s will (18:23)
Show-off (18:34)
Declare something to be eternal (18:35)
Be contentious (18:54)
Try refuting the truth (18:56)
Do shirk in the ‘ibadah of Him (18:110)
Follow lusts instead of the salāt (19:59)
Deny, then claim that you will recieve wealth and children (19:77)
Neglect the rememberance (20:42)
Carry injustice (20:111)
Oppose His command (20:121)
Have a distracted heart (21:3)
Declare the Qur’an to make no sense (21:5)
Declare yourself to be a God (21:29)
Be devoted to statues (21:52)
Divide your affair amongst yourselves (21:93)
Serve upon an edge (22:11)
Be a treacherous ingrate (22:38)
Take what Satan casts as a fitnah for you (22:53)
Seek behind relations with wives or MMA (23:7)
Declare His promise to be far-fetched (23:36)
Be self-exalting (23:46)
Divide your command into writings (23:53)
Talk to no purpose into the night (23:67)
Have a light balance (23:103)
Marry other than one unchaste or a mushrik, if you are unchaste (24:3)
Accuse chaste women without sufficient witnesses (24:4)
Love that there be spread of immorality (24:19)
Swear not to give (24:22)
Enter other’s houses without having asked leave nor greeted those therein (24:27)
Strike feet to reveal adornment [for women] (24:31)
Compel your girls to whoredom, if they desire chastity (24:33)
Submit only when the truth is to your liking (24:49)
Swear that you’d do what the messenger commands (24:53)
Slip away surreptitiously (24:63)
Be greatly scornful (25:21)
Make friends with wrong people (25:28)
Abandon the Qur’an (25:30)
Take desires as a god (25:43)
Spend extravagantly and miserly (25:67)
Bear witness to falsehood (25:72)
Disbelieve on basis of abject followers (26:111)
Build bunkers to live forever (26:129)
Lay hold as tyrants (26:130)
Cheat with men (26:166)
Follow poets (26:224)
Hasten on the evil before the good (27:46)
Commit immorality with open eyes (27:54)
Approach men with lust instead of women (27:55)
Divide and oppress people (28:4)
Seek the ignorant (28:55)
Exult in riches (28:76)
Assume that you won’t be tried (29:2)
Obey parents who compel you to shirk (29:8)
Take idols as love between you and the life of this world (29:25)
Cut off the way (29:29)
Commit perversity in your assemblies (29:29)
Continued in the comments.

Salaam all!
I've attempted to compile the "do's and don'ts" of the Qur'an, the following list is all OC. I very likely have made some mistakes/errors in judgment whilst compiling, so please do comment and point things out, i'll edit the post.
Enjoy :)

﷽

Do this:

Serve God (1:5)
Ask God for help (1:5)
Believe in Unseen (2:3)
Uphold the salāt (2:3)
Believe in the Qur’an and what preceded it (2:4)
Be certain of the Hereafter (2:4)
If in doubt, bring a Surah like it (2:23)
If there comes to you guidance from Him, follow it (2:38)
Render the zakāt (2:43)
Be in ruku’ (2:43)
Use reason (2:44)
Seek help in patience and salāt (2:45)
Consider your meeting with the Lord (2:46)
Be in prudent fear of the judgment day (2:48)
Trust in God, the last day, and do good (2:62)
Be good to parents (2:83)
Be good to kin, fatherless or the poor (2:83)
Be in prudent fear (2:103)
Say “look at us” (2:104)
Pardon and forbear (2:109)
Send good ahead (2:110)
Bring proof of claims (2:111)
Submit to God (2:112)
Do Good (2:82)
Trust in God and the last day (2:126)
Hold to the creed of Abraham (2:135)
Say that you trust in Him, what He has sent down (2:136)
Make no distinction between the prophets (2:136)
Immerse in Him (2:138)
Respond to those who say that Abraham (and descendants) were Christians/Jews with “know you better, or does God?” (2:140)
Direct your face to the inviolable place of worship wherever you are (2:144)
Remember Him (2:152)
Be grateful to Him (2:152)
Be patient (2:153)
Bear glad tidings to the patient (2:155)
Repent / Ask forgiveness (2:160)
Love Him (2:165)
Eat what is halāl or tayyeb (2:168)
Trust in Him, the last day, the angels, the Writ, the prophets (2:177)
Give wealth to relatives, the fatherless, the needy, and the wayfarer (2:177)
Manumit slaves (2:177)
Keep a covenant when you make it (2:177)
Qisās ‘prescribed’ (2:178)
Pay blood-money if no Qisās (2:178)
Will ‘prescribed’ (2:180)
Make right when you notice testator partiality (2:182)
Fasting in general ‘prescribed’ (2:183)
If sick or on journey, carry fasting forward (2:184)
Pay fidya if fast missed (2:184)
Fast in Ramadān (2:185)
Respond to Him (2:186)
Trust Him (2:186)
Lie with women after fasting (2:187)
Seek what he prescribed (2:187)
Eat and drink until the white thead is clear from the dark, then fast till sunset (2:187)
Approach houses by doors (2:189)
Fight those who fight you (2:190)
Kill those who fight you (2:191)
Turn out those who turned you out (2:191)
Don’t fight in the inviolable masjid until fought (2:191)
Fight until they desist, or until the end of fitnah (2:193)
Qisās in the sacred months (2:194)
Spend in His cause (2:195)
Do the hajj (2:196)
Do the offering of animals if not possible (2:196)
If sick, or hindrance of the head: redemption by fasting, charity, or penance (2:196)
If cannot attend, fast three days during it, the seven days upon return, save if family is permanently resident on site (2:196)
Take provision (2:197)
Remember Him at al-mash’ar al-harām (2:198)
Pour forth from where men have poured forth (2:199)
Remember Him like the remembrance of your father or stronger, after rites finished (2:200)
Ask Him to give you good in the World and Hereafter, and to protect you from the punishment (2:201)
Sell yourself for Him (2:207)
Enter into submission completely (2:208)
Fighting ‘prescribed’ (2:216)
Trust (2:218)
Emigrate (2:218)
Strive in His cause (2:218)
Hope for his mercy (2:218)
Spend the surplus (2:219)
Approach purified women in the correct manner (2:222)
Purify yourself (2:222)
Bear glad tidings to the mu’minūn (2:223)
Wait four months after foreswearing women (2:226)
Divorced women wait themselves for three menstrural courses (2:228)
When divorcing, retain them or release them (2:231)
Remember His favour (2:231)
Children are suckled for two ‘haūl’ (2:233)
Father provides provision and clothing (2:233)
Widows must wait for 4 months and ten days (2:234)
When divorcing her and you haven’t touched her nor appointed an obligation for her, make her a gift (2:236)
If they have an obligation appointed, then give half, unless forgoed (2:237)
Don’t forget the bounty between you two (2:237)
Preserve the salawāt (2:238)
Stand up for God humbly obedient (2:238)
If in fear, waking or riding (2:239)
Widows are to recieve one years maintenance with no expulsion (2:240)
Divorced women recieve provision (2:241)
Fight in His cause (2:244)
Spend of what He provided (2:254)
Deny tāghūt (2:257)
Spend in His cause (2:261)
Give up usury (2:278)
Defer money return until ease upon borrower (2:280)
[Follow debt contract instructions] (2:282)
If on journey and no writer, then a pledge in hand (2:283)
Make no distinction between messengers (2:285)
Obey Him (2:285)
Be truthful (3:17)
Seek forgiveness at dawn (3:17)
Be obedient (3:17)
Bear witness that there is no God save He (3:18)
Ask those given the writ and the unschooled if they’ve submitted (3:20)
Obey Him and the Messenger (3:32)
If they turn away, bear witness that you are submitting (3:64)
Fulfil your covenant (3:76)
Make no distinction between the prophets (3:84)
Spend of what you love (3:92)
Make pilgrimage to the house (3:97)
Hold fast to Him (3:101)
Hold fast to the rope of God together (3:103)
Have a community that invites to God, enjoins what is fitting, and forbids perversity (3:104)
Compete in good deeds (3:114)
Place trust in Him (3:122)
Be in prudent fear of the fire (3:131)
Vie with each other for forgiveness (3:133)
Control wrath (3:134)
Travel in the Earth to see the final outcome of the deniers (3:137)
Seek His approval (3:162)
Respond to God after injury befalls (3:172)
Fear Him (3:175)
Remember Allah standing, sitting, on the sides; reflect on the creation (3:191)
Be steady (3:200)
Give the fatherless their property (4:2)
If there is an injustice of the fatherless, then perform polygamy (4:3)
Give women their dowries (4:4)
If they remit anything voluntarily, then consume it with satisfaction and pleasure (4:4)
Feed and clothe the incompetent (4:5)
Test the fatherless when they reach marriage, if they are sound then give their property with witnesses (4:6)
Men/Women have a designated share of what parents/relatives leave (4:7)
If the fatherless and needy are at the site of division, then give part of what is left (4:8)
[Inheritance laws] (4:12-13)
[*] (4:15-16)
If you can’t marry free women, then from MMA of believing maids, marry them with the lesve of their people (4:25)
MMA are due half the punishment of free wine if they commit fāhisha (4:25)
Avoid enormities of whats forbidden (4:31)
For men and women is a share of what they earned (4:32)
Give shares to those whom your oaths have bound (4:33)
Men have responsibility over women (4:34)
Women are to be humbly obedient and keeping unseen what God keeps (4:34)
If you fear contempt from your women, then admonish them, and leave in beds apart, and [*] them – save that they obey you (4:34)
If a breach is feared, then an arbitrator from both sides are to be raised (4:35)
Good conduct towards relatives, the fatherless, the needy, the neighbour, the companion, the wayfarers, and MMA (4:36)
Spend of what Allah provides (4:39)
If you are ill, on a journey, have defecated, or had intercourse, and find not water, then perform tayammum (4:43)
Deliver trusts to owners and judge with justice (4:58)
Obey those in authority amongst you (4:59)
If you differ in a matter, refer to God and the Messenger (4:59)
Turn away from munāfiqūn, and admonish them (4:63)
Ask the messenger to ask forgiveness for you (4:64)
Take precaution and advance in groups/together (4:71)
Fight satan’s allies (4:76)
Consider the Qur’an with care (4:82)
Interceding in a good cause (4:85)
When you are greeted, return it, or greet with something greater (4:86)
Take not that munāfiqūn as allies until they emigrate in His cause, if they turn back then kill them (4:89)
If they withdraw and offer peace, you have no path against them (4:90)
Accidental murder of a mu’min: Manumit a mu’min slave and give blood-momey to family – save forgiveness (4:92)
Fast two months consecutively if not possible (4:92)
Verify/investigate when you go forth in His cause (4:94)
When you are amongst them then perform the salāt for them[follow procedure mentioned] (4:102)
When that salāt is concluded, remember Him standing, sitting, on the sides, and when at ease (4:103)
The salāt is required to be performed at set times for the mu’minūn (4:103)
Submit your face to Him, do good, follow the creed of Abraham (4:125)
Stand up for equity for the fatherless (4:127)
Be witnesses to God (4:135)
Bear tidings to the munāfiqūn (4:138)
Desist from tritheism (4:171)
[Kalalah inheritance] (4:176)
Fulfil contracts (5:1)
Assist one another to virtue (5:2)
Eat from what is caught by what you have trained of animals of prey as trainers (5:4)
When you rise for the prayer, wash the face, the hands, the arm, and the feet to the ankles (5:6)
If you are unclean, then purify yourself (5:6)
Lend to God a goodly loan (5:12)
Bury after death? (5:31)
If one wages war against God and His messenger, and work corruption in the land: Then kill them, or crucify [or put to death by stake] them, ot their hands and feet be cut off, or they be banished (5:33)
Seek to Him the means of approach (5:35)
[Punishment for stealing] (5:38)
Let ahl al-injīl judge by what God sent (5:47)
Take Him, His messenger, and those who trusted as allies (5:56)
Be moderate (5:66)
Prevent one another from performing perversity (5:79)
Eat of what God has provided from what is lawful and good (5:88)
[Oath expiation] (5:89)
Avoid khamr, games of change, altars, and divining arrows (5:90)
Bear responsibility for yourself (5:105)
[Testimony after death] (5:106)
Listen (5:108)
Travel in the Earth to see the final outcomes of the deniers (6:11)
Use reason (6:32)
Call to Him (6:41)
Humble yourself (6:43)
Turn in repentance after committing evil by ignorance (6:54)
Measure God with the measure due (6:91)
Preserve your salāt (6:92)
Leave those who fabricate, and what they fabricate (6:112)
Eat over which His name has been remembered (6:118)
Leave the outwardness and the inwardness of sin (6:120)
Work according to your power (6:135)
Render due on day of harvest (6:141)
Inform with knowledge when making claim (6:143)
Follow the straight path (6:153)
Dedicate your salāt, penance, your living, and your dying to Him (6:162)
Uphold countenances at every place of submission (7:29)
Call to Him sincere in doctrine (7:29)
Take your adornment at every place of submission (7:31)
Acknowledge Messengers when they come (7:35)
Call to Him humbly and in secret (7:55)
Be patient for the judgment (7:87)
Repent and believe after evil deeds (7:153)
Follow the unschooled prophet (7:157)
Forbid evil (7:165)
Use your [metaphoric] senses (7:179)
Call to Him by his names (7:180)
Call your partners and see if they respond (7:194)
Seek refuge in Him from the satan, if provoked (7:200)
Heed to the Qur’an and listen attentively (7:204)
Reserve spoils for God and His messenger (8:1)
Make right in what is between you (8:1)
Respond to Him and His messenger when He calls you to what gives you life (8:24)
Fight until no fitnah (8:39)
If they turn away know that He’s your protector (8:40)
What you obtain of spoils, a fifth belongs to God, His messenger, relatives, fatherless, the poor, and wayfarer (8:41)
If you fear treachery, cast them back (8:58)
Prepare forces and calvary to terrify them (8:60)
If they incline to peace, then incline to it (8:61)
Consume what you took of spoils (8:69)
Strive with four property and lives (8:72)
Help those who seek help within the deen (8:72)
Bear tidings to those in kufr of a painful punishment (9:3)
Kill, seize, ambush, and restrain the mushrikīn once the inviolable months have passed (9:5)
Release them if they repent, and perform the prayer, and render the zakāt (9:5)
If a mushrik seeks protection, grant it,.until he hears His words; then escort to his secure place (9:6)
Fight those who make not unlawful what is unlawful (9:29)
Fight until the jizya is payed (9:29)
Give the Rabbis and Monks tidings of a painful punishment (9:34)
Please Him (9:62)
Let them be (9:95)
Act (9:105)
Rejoice in the contracted bargain with Him (9:111)
Keep His limits (9:112)
Be with the truthful (9:119)
Fight the kufār close to you (9:123)
Be harsh with them (9:123)
Serve Him (10:3)
If they challenge the Qur’an, ask them to bring a Surah like it (10:38)
Declare yourself quit of them (10:41)
Consider that the punishment can come at any time (10:50)
Take a straight path (10:89)
Look at what is in the heavens and the Earth (10:101)
Humble yourself unto Him (11:23)
Be clement, compassionate, penitent (11:75)
Be right-minded (11:78)
Right ordering (11:88)
Watch (11:93)
Fear the punishment of the hereafter (11:103)
Uphold the prayer at both ends of the day, and at the night’s approach (11:114)
Forbid corruption (11:116)
Use reason (12:2)
Pick imprisonment over sexual immorality (12:33)
Invite to Him with insight (12:108)
Respond to Him (13:18)
Join what’s commanded to be joined (13:21)
Avert evil with good (13:22)
Find rest in remembrance (13:28)
Be patient wherein you are hindered (14:12)
Fear His station (14:14)
Speak a good word (14:24)
Leave them to enjoy themselves (15:3)
Give glory (15:98)
Warn that there is no God save Him (16:2)
Be virtuous (16:32)
Ask the people of the remembrance if you know not (16:43)
When you recite the Qur’an, seek refuge from the accursed satan (16:98)
Falsely declare things to be lawful/unlawful (16:116)
Repent, despite committing evil out of ignorance (16:119)
Invite with wisdom, comely admonition, and dispute with what is best (16:125)
Retaliate with the like of what wherewith you are harmed, save that you forgive (16:126)
Strive for the hereafter (17:19)
Good conduct to parents (17:23)
Speak to them a noble word (17:23)
Be gentle with them and make supplication for them (17:24)
Speak a gentle word to those who need charity, but you can’t provide (17:28)
Weigh with the straight balance (17:35)
Recite the Qur’an (17:45)
Say that which is best (17:53)
Uphold the prayer at the merging of the sun until the dark of the night (17:78)
Recite at dawn (17:78)
Keep a vigil with some of the night (17:79)
Ask God to cause you to enter a true entrance and to leave at a true exit (17;80)
Declare that truth has come, and vanity is to pass (17:81)
Declare Him a sufficient witness (17:96)
Perform salāt at a medium volume (17:110)
Whoso wills, let them believe – and vice versa (18:29)
Be steadfast in His ‘ibādah (19:65)
Eat and attend to your cattle (20:54)
Give glory before rising of the sun, before it’s setting, some of the night, and at two ends of the day (20:130)
Extend your eyes towards what has been granted to others (20:131)
Call in hope and fear (21:90)
Be a righteous servant (21:105)
Feed the unfortunate poor (22:28)
Make an end of unkemptness (22:29)
Fulfil vows (22:29)
Walk around that ancient house (22:29)
Honour the sacred things (22:30)
Avoid false speech and abomination of idols (22:30)
Incline to Him (22:31)
Honour the tokens of God (22:32)
Sacrifice at ancient house (22:33)
Remember His name over camels when they are in lines (22:36)
When their flanks collapse, eat thereof and feed the reticent poor and the beggar (22:36)
Be in ruku’, and sujood (22:77)
Be a mu’min (23:1)
Be humble in salāt (23:2)
Preserve chastity (23:5)
Preserve your salawāt (23:9)
Leave them in their flood of ignorance, for a time (23:54)
Have a heavy balance (23:102)
Lash the unchaste woman and the unchaste man each with 100 lashes, have no pity on them, and let it be witnessed by mu’minūn (24:2)
Lash those who accuse chaste women with insufficient witnesses with 80 lashes, and never accept them as a witness (24:4)
If you, as a visitor, are asked to leave, then leave (24:28)
If you are a man, lower your gaze (24:30)
As a woman, you should also lower the gaze, you must additionally not reveal adornment except what I’d apparent, and you should cover the bosom [except to listed people] (24:31)
Give in marriage the unmarried (24:32)
Abstain if you find not marriage (24:33)
Emancipate those who seek it, if there is good in them, and give them of your wealth (24:33)
Declare allegiance (24:51)
If you are part of one’s right hand possessions, or one who has not reached puberty yet, then – ask permission before entering at the three times of their nakedness (24:58)
Greet with a greeting from God (24:61)
Rest at night (25:47)
Walk modestly (25:63)
Speak peace when addressed by ignorants (25:63)
Spend the night standing and in sujūd (25:64)
Seek a middle ground when spending, if you must (25:63)
Pass by vain speech with dignity (25:72)
Request to Him that your wives and progeny be made a comfort, and make you a good model (25:74)
Obey the command of the committers of excess (26:151)
Warn relatives (26:214)
Help people out (28:25)
Seek provision with Him (29:17)
Discover how He originated creation (29:20)
Reflect within yourself (30:8)
Provide to MMA (30:28)
Set yourself towards the right natural deen (30:30)
Desire His face (30:38)
Prepare for yourself (30:44)
Grateful to parents (31:14)
Be modest in walk (31:19)
Lower the voice (31:19)
Fall in sujūd when reminded of proofs (32:15)
Forsake your bed (32:16)
Call the adopted children by their fathers (33:5)
Take the messenger as a model
Stay within houses [prophet wives] (33:33)
Give glory morning and evening (33:42)
Give those whom you divorce before consummation provision (33:49)
[Historic conduct regarding prophet’s house] (33:53)
Greet the prophet with a valuation (33:56)
Women draw down over themselves some garments, for recognition (33:59)
Stand up for God in twos and alone, then reflect (34:46)
Let the workers work (37:61)
Remember David, the repentant (38:17)
Be humbly obedient in the watches of the night (39:9)
Hope for His mercy (39:9)
Expand your breast to submission (39:22)
Experience a positive reaction to the Qur’an (39:23)
Come with the truth and live in accordance to it (39:33)
Follow the best of what is sent down (39:55)
Invite to your Lord (41:33)
Grow not weary in giving glory (41:38)
Take the Qur’an as a healing (41:44)
Defer disputes to His judgement (42:10)
Uphold the Deen (42:13)
Be in dread of the hour (42:18)
Love your kin (42:23)
Avoid enormities of sin and immorality (42:37)
Conduct affairs by mutual consultation (42:38)
Help yourself when insolence visits (42:39)
Remember His favour once settled on cattle (43:13)
Watch for the day of the obvious smoke (44:10)
Watch (44:59)
Forgive those who look not for His days (45:14)
Follow the sharī’a (45:18)
Keep to the path (46:13)
[Say what is mentioned upon reaching fourty] (46:15)
Believe in what was sent down upon Muhammad (47:2)
Smite the necks of those in kufr when in battle (47:4)
Grace or ransom war captives (47:4)
Help Him (47:7)
Be obedient (47:21)
Consider the Qur’an with care (47:24)
Sue for peace when you have the upper hand (47:35)
Honour the messenger (48:9)
Be hard against those in kufr (48:29)
Lower voice in presence of messenger (49:3)
Verify the report of a perfidious one (49:6)
Make right between groups of mu’minūn (49:9)
Fight the oppressive group (49:9)
Make right between brothers (49:10)
Preserve modesty and duties (50:32)
Give ear with a conscious mind (50:37)
Glorify at the ends of the sujūd (50:40)
Listen for the day that the Caller will call from near (50:41)
Sleep little of the night (51:17)
Ask forgiveness before break of day (51:18)
Give glory when arising (52:48)
Give glory at the retreat of the stars (52:49)
Remember the ayah of the ark (54:15)
Remember the Qur’an, which is easy for remembrance (54:17)
Remember destruction of sects (54:51)
Fear His standing (55:46)
Aim to be of the sābiqūn (56:10)
Touch the Qur’an only when purified (56:79)
Aim to be of the muqarrabūn (56:88)
Fight before victories (57:10)
Lend to Him a goodly loan (57:11)
Compete for forgiveness (57:21)
Observe good/neutral innovations with due observation (57:27)
If you go back on what you have said, then free a slave before touching [other circumstances in next verse] (58:3)
When engaging in private conversation, don’t allow it to be of a sinful kind (58:9)
Make room in the assemblies when instructed; arise when instructed (58:11)
[Charity before conversation with messenger historically] (58:12)
What the messenger gives you, take it [and opposite] (59:7)
Protect from avarice of the nafs (59:9)
Look to what you have sent ahead for the morrow (59:18)
Take Abraham and his companions as good models [see full verse] (60:4)
Examine the emigrated women, to determine their faith; if they are mu’mināt, send them not back (60:10)
Return the mahr to those whom have had wives flee to kuffār (60:11)
Fight in compacted ranks (61:4)
When the call for the Friday salāt is heard, hasten to it (62:9)
Disperse upon completion, seek His bounty (62:10)
Spend before death arrives (63:10)
Beware of enemies amongst wives and children (64:14)
Listen to the Qur’an (64:16)
Count waiting period after divorce (65:1)
Turn divorcees out of house, unless they commit immorality (65:1)
Seperation to be witnessed by two just men (65:2)
If no menstruation, count three months (65:4)
If pregnant, wait until end (65:4)
Lodge then where you are, according to means, don’t press them (65:6)
Spend if they have a child, until delivered (65:6)
If they suckle, give them their reward; consult honourably (65:6)
If difficulties between you, let another suckle (65:6)
Let him with abundance spend out of it (65:7)
Fear your Lord while unseen (67:12)
Walk in the tracts (67:15)
Be patient with comely patience (70:5)
Be constant in your salāt (70:23)
Confirm.the day of judgment (70:26)
Be in dread of the punishment (70:27)
Be upright in your witness (70:33)
Preserve you salāt (70:34)
Follow the broad ways of the Earth (71:20)
Recite the Qur’an distinctly (73:4)
Devote yourself completely to Him (73:8)
Recite what is made easy of the Qur’an (73:20)
Magnify Him (74:3)
Purify your garments (74:4)
Foresake defilement (74:5)
Give food out of love of Him to the prisoner (76:8)
Seek a way to paradise (76:18)
Remember His name morning and evening (76:25)
If you have a plan then plan against Him [challenge] (77:39)
Be lowly (77:48)
Take the day as a living (78:11)
Take your Lord as a journey’s end (78:39)
Fear His station (79:40)
Let aspire those who aspire (83:26)
Let look at what you are created from (86:5)
Take heed (87:10)
Purify yourself (87:14)
Remember His name (87:15)
Look at the creation of the camel, sky, mountain, Earth (88:20)
Free a slave (90:13)
Feed in a day of starvation a fatherless relation, or a needy one in misery (90:16)
Counsel one another to compassion (90:17)
Increase the nafs in purity (91:9)
Confirm the best (92:6)
Recount His favour (93:11)
When unoccupied, make ready (94:7)
Turn your desire to Him (94:8)
Enjoin prudent fear (96:12)
Draw near (96:19)
Be pleased with Him (98:8)
Have a heavy balance (101:6)
Counsel each other to truth (103:3)
Sacrifice (108:2)
Declare that you serve not what those in kufr serve (109:2)
Declare the oneness.of Him (112:1)
Seek refuge in Him from the evil of what He created, the darkness, the blowers on knots, and the envier (113:5)
Seek refuge from the evil of the retreating whisperer (114:4)

Don’t do this:

Buy error at the price of guidance (2:16)
Make equals with God (2:22)
Deny before bringing a surah like it (2:24)
Break the agreement (2:27)
Work corruption in the land (2:27)
Deny the āyāt (2:39)
Conceal truth knowingly (2:42)
Enjoin virtue and forget yourselves (2:44)
Ask to see/interact with Him openly (2:55)
Change the saying (2:59)
Complain (2:61)
Kill prophets (2:61)
Exceed bounds / Transgress (2:61)
Transgress the Sabbath (2:65)
Ask unnecessary/excessive questions (2:71)
Assume (2:78)
Fabricate a kitāb, claiming it’s from God (2:79)
Ascribe what you know not (2:80)
Allow offenses to encompass you (2:81)
Kill amongst you and turn out of homes (2:84)
Assist in sin (2:85)
Believe in part of the kitāb and reject the rest (2:85)
Buy this life over the hereafter (2:86)
Wax proud (2:87)
Claim that your heart is covered (2:88)
Deny what God has sent (2:90)
Ignore/Deny clear signs (2:92)
Commit shirk (2:96)
Be an enemy to Him, angels, messenger, or Gabriel and Michael (2:98)
Practice sihr (2:102)
Say “attend to us” (2:104)
Ask Muhammad the same way that Moses was asked (2:108)
Exchange security for kufr (2:108)
Attempt to bring people into kufr (2:109)
Claim who enters paradise (2:111)
Hinder places places of worship (2:114)
Say that He has a son (2:116)
Follow vain desires (2:120)
Be in kufr (2:126)
Be averse to the creed of Abraham (2:130)
Die save you are submitting (2:132)
Conceal witness from Him (2:140)
Say that those matyred are dead (2:154)
Follow the footsteps of shaytān (2:168)
Commit evil (2:169)
Commit the immorality (2:169)
Follow/Trust forefathers blindly (2:170)
Eat carrion, blood, or flesh of al-khinzīr (2:173)
Eat what is dedicated to other than Him (2:173)
Buy punishment at the price of forgiveness (2:175)
Differ concerning the kitāb (2:176)
Transgress after qisās settlement (2:178)
Change the will (2:181)
Lie with women when remaining in masājid (2:187)
Consume wealth in vanity (2:188)
Bribery (2:188)
Shave head until animal is at slaughter place (2:196)
Destroy yourself (2:195)
Have sex, do perfidity, or quarrel during hajj (2:197)
Ask God to give to you in the World (2:200)
Complete the hajj in less than two days (2:203)
Destroy tilth and progeny (2:205)
Have pride in sin (2:206)
Exchange favour of God for denial (2:211)
Fight in the sacred months (2:217)
Expel those of the inviolable masjid (2:217)
Consume khamr or engage in games of change (2:219)
Marry mushrikīn until they are safe from calling to hell (2:221)
Approach women during menstruation (2:222)
Make God a cover for oaths (2:224)
Conceal pregnancy (2:228)
Take what you have given women unless they cannot uphold the limits (2:229)
Transgress the limits of God (2:229)
Remarriage not lawful till she marries someone else (2:230)
Retain women through harm (2:231)
Take ayāt in mockery (2:231)
Constrain not those whom you divorce from marrying spouses (2:232)
Allow a mothefather to be harmed by child (2:233)
Take an oath with those whom you intimated of women regarding proposal, save you speak a fitting word (2:235)
Decide upon knot of marriage until writ reaches it’s term (2:235)
Force others into the doctrine (2:256)
Hinder (2:262)
Commit immortality (2:268)
Consume usury (2:275)
Commit sin (2:276)
Conceal the witness (2:283)
Seek the interpretation of what is ambiguous, seeking fitnah (3:7)
Kill those who enjoin equity (3:21)
Say that the fire will touch for days numbered (3:24)
Take kāfirūn as allies (3:28)
Engage in scheming (3:54)
Dispute regarding what you have no knowledge in (3:66)
Clothe truth in vanity (3:71)
Seek outside the doctrine of God (3:83)
Deny after faith (3:86)
Obey a faction of those given the writ (3:100)
Be divided (3:103)
Take intimatez other than your own (3:118)
Consume usury (3:130)
Faint/Grieve (3:139)
Assume entry to jannah (3:142)
Weaken/Yield (3:146)
Be like those in kufr, who believe that different circumstances would have saved their brothers (3:156)
Coercion (3:161)
Incur His wrath (3:162)
Say with your mouths what isn’t in your heart (3:167)
Think that those killed in his cause are dead (3:169)
Fear not Satan’s allies (3:175)
Buy denial at the price of faith (3:177)
Be miserly with what God gives of His bounty (3:180)
Say that God is poor (3:181)
Having pride and pretending (3:188)
Exchange your bad things for their [fatherless] good things (4:2)
Polygamy if you fear that the fatherless will not be justly treated (4:3)
Give the incompetent your wealth (4:5)
Consume the property of the fatherless wastefully/hastily (4:6)
Try repent last minute (4:18)
Inheriting from/Constraining wiomen against their will – save that they commit fāhisha (4:19)
Take from the fortune that you gave your first wife for your new wife (4:20)
Marrying what your fathers married (4:22)
Marrying your mothers, daughters, sisters, p/m aunts, nieces, milk-mothers, milk-sisters, mothers-in-law, step-daughters under protection, daughters-in-law, being in wedlock with two biological sisters simultaneously (4:23)
Marrying married women – save MMA (4:24)
Take secret friends (4:25)
Kill those amongst you (4:29)
Consume wealth in vanity (4:29)
Wish for that by which Allah has made some of you exceed others (4:32)
Being a conceited boaster (4:36)
Being miserly and enjoining miserliness (4:37)
Spend wealth for recognition (4:38)
Oppose the messenger (4:42)
Approaching the salāt when intoxicated or unclean – save passing by upon the path – until you wash (4:43)
Twist tongue and slander the Deen (4:46)
Beliefs in fictions and tāghūt (4:51)
Envy the bounty of others (4:54)
Referring legislation to tāghūt (4:60)
Staying behind from fighting (4:72)
Try hiding away (4:78)
Conspiring (4:81)
Leaking information regarding public safety (4:83)
Interceding in an evil cause (4:85)
Killing a mu’min on purpose (4:92)
If one greets with peace, don’t declare them a non-mu’min (4:94)
Being sedentary (4:95)
Making excuses about being oppressed, to justify wronging their souls (4:97)
Faint in seeking the people (4:104)
Advocating for the treacherous (4:105)
Argue on behalf of those who decieve themselves (4:107)
Commit an offense upon an innocent (4:122)
Make a breach with the messenger after the guidance is clear (4:115)
Following desires, changing the creation (4:119)
Incline towards only one wife, leaving the other hanging (4:129)
Distort/Evade (4:135)
Wavering (4:137)
Sit with those who discourse vainly concerning the proofs of God until they move to another subject (4:140)
Seel to decieve God (4:142)
Performing the salāt to be seen (4:142)
Public mention of evil, save when wronged (4:148)
‘Choosing’ messengers (4:150)
Ask to see God (4:153)
Be tritheistic (4:171)
Hunt when forbidden (5:1)
Violate the tokens of God, or the inviolable month, or the offering, or the necklaces, or the visitors (5:2)
Commit injustice to those who turned you out of the inviolable place of worship (5:2)
Consume the strangled, the beaten, the fallen, the gored, that eaten by the beast of prey – save what is slaughtered, that sacrificed upon the alter (5:3)
Seek apportionment by divining arrows (5:3)
Deny the faith (5:5)
Claim that God is the Messiah, son of Mary (5:17)
Claim that you are His sons and beloved (5:18)
Kill another soul (5:30)
Fear mankind (5:44)
Take the Jews and Christians as allies (5:51)
Take those who take the dīn in mockery as allies (5:57)
Take the call to the salāt in mockery (5:58)
Claim that His hand is fettered (5:64)
Forbid the good things made lawful (5:87)
Kill game when forbidden (5:95)
[Expiation for killing] (5:95)
Ask about things that would distress you if made clear (5:101)
Follow forefathers (5:104)
Declare clear signs to be sorcery (5:110)
Take Jesus and Mary as gods (5:116)
Ask for angels (6:8)
Mock messengers (6:10)
Be among the mushrikīn (6:14)
Oppose Him (6:15)
Be a wrongdoer (6:21)
Declare the Qur’an to be be legend (6:25)
Claim that there is only one life (6:29)
Denial of the meeting (6:31)
Of the ignorant (6:35)
Call to other than Him (6:40)
Take an intercessor besides Him (6:51)
Drive away those seeking His face (6:52)
Sit with those who discourse vainly concerning His proofs (6:68)
Take your deen as play and diversion 6:70)
Clothe the faith with injustice (6:82)
Deny the Writ, judgment, and prophethood (6:89)
Claim revelation (6:93)
Be deluded (6:95)
Make the jinn partners of God (6:100)
Revile those whom are called besides Him (6:108)
Seek other than Him.as a judge (6:114)
Be of the doubtful (6:114)
Obey most on Earth (6:116)
Lead astray by vain desires without knowledge (6:119)
Eat not that over which His name has not been remembered (6:121)
Assigning a share of His creation to partners (6:136)
Declaring things to be taboo (6:138)
Kill your children (6:140)
Make unlawful what He has provided you (6:140)
Commit excess (6:141)
Approach open or concealed immorality (6:151)
Follow other ways (6:153)
Wait for angels (6:158)
Divide the deen into sects (6:159)
Allow the satan to subject you to fitnah (7:27)
Commit excess when eating and drinking (7:31)
Make unlawful the adornment of God (7:32)
Sectarian zealotry (7:33)
Wax proud at proofs (7:36)
Be a mujrim (7:40)
Seek to make His path crooked (7:45)
Name names with no authority (7:71)
Scorn His command (7:77)
Approach men with lust, rather than women (7:80)
Lie in wait on the road, threatening and turning away from The Path (7:86)
Being blind to lessons (7:95)
Bribe using promise of power (7:114)
Bewitch people (7:116)
Be stubborn (7:132)
Be heedless of proofs (7:136)
Follow that path of the workers of corruption (7:142)
Take the wrong path, ignore the path of sound judgment (7:146)
Be impatient over His command (7:150)
Be a forger (7:152)
Scorn what you’ve been forbidden.(7:166)
Deviate concerning His names (7:180)
Public speech (7:205)
Dispute the truth after it’s clear (8:6)
Retreat (8:15)
Turn away when you are near (8:20)
Pretend to hear (8:21)
Betray (8:27)
Turn away from the inviolable place of submission (8:34)
Make a mockery of the salāt (8:35)
Spend wealth on turning away from path of God (8:36)
Dispute together (8:46)
Be boastful (8:47)
Let those in kufr believe that they got away (8:59)
Bear tidings of a painful punishment to the mushrikīn with whom a covenant has been made, who haven’t been deficient towards you in anything, nor assisted anyone against you (9:4)
Allow your beloved things to be dearer to you than Him and His messenger (9:24)
Allow the mushrikīn to approach the inviolable place of submission (9:28)
Take Rabbis and Monks as lords (9:31)
Wrong yourselves concerning the count of months (9:36)
Engage in their postponement (9:37)
Spend unwillingly (9:54)
Come to the prayer as an idler (9:54)
Allow their wealth and children to impress you (9:55)
Complain regarding charity distribution (9:58)
Hinder the prophet (9:61)
Enjoin perversity and forbid what is fitting (9:67)
Withhold His bounty and turn away (9:76)
Deride the believers who willingly give charity (9:79)
Remain behind due to weather (9:81)
Perform the funeral prayer for any one of them (9:84)
Staying behind due to affluence (9:86)
Make excuses (9:94)
Take what you spend as a loss, await reversals (9:98)
Take a place of submission in harm and denial (9:107)
Ask forgiveness for the mushrikīn (9:113)
Go forth all at once (9:122)
Look not for the meeting (10:7)
Neglect after being helped (10:12)
Desire for the Qur’an to be changed (10:15)
Rebel in the Earth after being delivered (10:23)
Deny before interpretation arrives to you (10:39)
Allow their speech to grieve you (10:65)
Repent too late (10:91)
Hide away (11:5)
Wish that a treasure or an angel had been sent upon him.(11:12)
Make the path crooked (11:19)
Dismiss on basis of mortality and lack of bounty (11:27)
Claim that your deity caused messenger to be touched with evil (11:54)
Follow that command of tyrants (11:59)
Heed due to their disappointment (11:62)
Decrease the measure and the balance (11:84)
Respevt others for power more than you do Him (11:92)
Rely upon those who do wrong (11:113)
Reveal dreams that could cause enmity (12:5)
Falsify evidence (12:18)
Sexual assault (12:23)
Despair of the comfort of God (12:87)
Deny physical resurrection (13:5)
Seek to hasten the evil instead of the good (13:6)
Sever what’s commanded to be joined (13:25)
Become bored when being presented with ayāt (14:9)
Threaten to expell warners (14:13)
Respond to Satan (14:22)
Speak a bad word (14:26)
Ignore similitudes (14:45)
Be of those who despair (15:55)
Refuse to provide rights and hospitality (15:70)
Build bunkers to feel secure from Him (15:82)
Make the Qur’an into parts (15:91)
Seek to hasten the command (16:1)
Be an open disputant (16:4)
Offer submission too late (16:28)
Appoint daughters for Him (16:57)
Refuse to give provision to those that their right hands posses (16:71)
Make conceptual comparisons for God (16:74)
Be a burden (16:76)
Take oaths as deception (16:92)
Take another disposer of affairs (17:2)
Being hasty (17:11)
Be perfidious (17:16)
Say “fie” to / Repell old parents (17:23)
Squander wastefully (17:26)
Be extreme on both ends of charity (17:29)
Kill your children for fear of poverty (17:31)
Approach zina (17:32)
Commit excess in lawful killing (17:33)
Walk exultantly (17:37)
Be neither loud nor quiet in salāt (17:110)
Say that you will do something later without declaring that it’s dependant upon God’s will (18:23)
Show-off (18:34)
Declare something to be eternal (18:35)
Be contentious (18:54)
Try refuting the truth (18:56)
Do shirk in the ‘ibadah of Him (18:110)
Follow lusts instead of the salāt (19:59)
Deny, then claim that you will recieve wealth and children (19:77)
Neglect the rememberance (20:42)
Carry injustice (20:111)
Oppose His command (20:121)
Have a distracted heart (21:3)
Declare the Qur’an to make no sense (21:5)
Declare yourself to be a God (21:29)
Be devoted to statues (21:52)
Divide your affair amongst yourselves (21:93)
Serve upon an edge (22:11)
Be a treacherous ingrate (22:38)
Take what Satan casts as a fitnah for you (22:53)
Seek behind relations with wives or MMA (23:7)
Declare His promise to be far-fetched (23:36)
Be self-exalting (23:46)
Divide your command into writings (23:53)
Talk to no purpose into the night (23:67)
Have a light balance (23:103)
Marry other than one unchaste or a mushrik, if you are unchaste (24:3)
Accuse chaste women without sufficient witnesses (24:4)
Love that there be spread of immorality (24:19)
Swear not to give (24:22)
Enter other’s houses without having asked leave nor greeted those therein (24:27)
Strike feet to reveal adornment [for women] (24:31)
Compel your girls to whoredom, if they desire chastity (24:33)
Submit only when the truth is to your liking (24:49)
Swear that you’d do what the messenger commands (24:53)
Slip away surreptitiously (24:63)
Be greatly scornful (25:21)
Make friends with wrong people (25:28)
Abandon the Qur’an (25:30)
Take desires as a god (25:43)
Spend extravagantly and miserly (25:67)
Bear witness to falsehood (25:72)
Disbelieve on basis of abject followers (26:111)
Build bunkers to live forever (26:129)
Lay hold as tyrants (26:130)
Cheat with men (26:166)
Follow poets (26:224)
Hasten on the evil before the good (27:46)
Commit immorality with open eyes (27:54)
Approach men with lust instead of women (27:55)
Divide and oppress people (28:4)
Seek the ignorant (28:55)
Exult in riches (28:76)
Assume that you won’t be tried (29:2)
Obey parents who compel you to shirk (29:8)
Take idols as love between you and the life of this world (29:25)
Cut off the way (29:29)
Commit perversity in your assemblies (29:29)
Continued in the comments.

I’ve always disliked being around babies. I don’t mind toddlers/kids but I just cannot stand being around babies. I’ve known how I felt for as long as I can remember and I expressed this to my family quite a few times throughout my life. My feelings were always invalidated, which isn’t surprising considering how my family is made up of conservative Christians who are sticklers for gender roles. In their eyes all women should want to be mothers and if they don’t then “the devil stole that part of them”.
But that isn’t really the point here.
When I found out that my sister was pregnant, I wasn’t happy or excited. I was concerned. I had no idea what that meant for me as an “aunt”. I had a feeling that I would be forced to be involved in her child’s life but I wasn’t sure to what degree.
When the baby finally arrived, I still didn’t feel any kind of happiness or excitement. I felt so indifferent when I first saw the baby that he might as well have been a stick she picked up on the way home from work. Even now, a year later, I’m just as indifferent. I do not love my nephew nor do I even like him. I don’t hate him by any means but I have zero desire to connect with him or spend time with him.
I’m constantly struggling with my feelings on the matter. Sometimes I feel bad about it and other times I’m able to mostly accept it.
Well, earlier today I was watching videos where a guy judges people in clips, talking about their red flags and green flags. One such clip was a man practically vibrating with giddiness upon seeing his niece for what I assume was the first time. He immediately takes the chance to hold her and even starts crying. You can see the mother in the clip and just how happy she is about how excited her brother(?) is to hold her baby.
Something about it just tore me up. It might just be because my mom got upset at me a couple of days ago for my less-than-subtle attempts at avoiding my nephew and the things she said while lecturing me. It might be how the guy who was judging the clip went on and on about just how incredibly nice the man was. Whatever the case, after watching that clip I felt like a horrible person. I still feel like a horrible person.
My sister is never going to get that experience from me. She is never going to see me cry over being able to hold her child. She is never going to see me be genuinely happy about things that revolve around her child. She is never going to have anything like that.
I just feel like a jerk.

Bullies, narc****** and abusers run this world. Society enables them while disarming victims from defending themselves. Hell, they PUNISH victims people for defending themselves.
You will find systems of abuse EVERYWHERE. At schools, work, HOAs, in families, in friendships, etc. You will see the same patterns in all these systems.
I'm done. The system is too deep to dismantle. Instead, I'm playing the game.
School -- I told my niece to fight back at school against bullies. And if the administration says anything, to fake cry and tell them "she's having problems at home." If bullies can get with away with abusing others because "they are having problems at home" then so can the victims. The bully gets off on a technicality? For example, the school can't punish because they already had gotten home when the fight happened. Use that same technicality to your advantage to strike back and get away with it.
Enablers -- Closet supporters/the self-interested narc******. I'm done trying to "rescue" them. To get them to repent. They will learn the hard way that sociopaths and narc**** don't have friends, they have servants. They want to be servants, they can be servants. Don't be fooled -- they are not good people who are just duped by narcs/abusers; many of them know what they are doing and that they are supporting bad people. They are extremely manipulative. Usually, the abusers will discard them once the enabler no longer brings any benefit to them. I now laugh at my aunt. She sided with my dad's baby mother over my mom and joined the campaign to harass her. 30 years later, the baby mother and my half siblings treat her like shit, left her out dry on her own once they got older. Hahaha.
Even the "good enablers" -- the rescuers/pollyanna/saints, I'm done trying to get through to them. They are always going to be victims and if you stay close to or follow their lead, you will be too. Some of them are not the good people they pretend to be. Some are extremely manipulative. And they are extremely self-righteous and controlling and will straight up try to force you to interact with abusers. I've decided to stop answering their phone calls and to only entertain them to the extent needed.
I'm Done "Rescuing" Victims from Being Used -- Every time I have tried to tell a friend this guy is using them for sex? They hit back at me and say I am making it up. She then began attacking me. Tried to tell people pleaser co-worker that this person at work is using them to do their work for them? She didn't even see it that way and and instead I was the bad guy. Hell, some don't want to be saved, they want you to be miserable just like them. I don't even bother saving the so called "good" victims -- if it were you in the same position, some would just spinelessly and cowardly sell you or leave you out to dry. This isn't my business. If I witness a crime, I will report. But other than that, I do not care anymore.
Work -- I'm done fighting bad management. Some companies are meant to die out. Some are meant to continue surviving solely on the overtime labor of bad management. Some are meant to survive on desperate applicants who go there only out of desperation, get the experience and leave their first opportunity. The focus is on me as an individual, getting what I am seeking to get out of the job, and selling my talent to the highest bidder. Just get what you need out of the job, and jump ship when it's time to jump ship. Bad management? Leave and they will eventually collapse on their own.
Bad Groups/Systems -- I'm just done fighting them, whether it be a bad HOA. Just leave and let the system collapse or survive on the overtime labor of the bad management.
I'm done fighting. I'm done being the hero. I'm done fighting this system. Now, I'm playing to win.