The beginning of my daughters 6th grade year (2021), a new girl moved to town. We will call her Ruth. Her parents had recently divorced and she moved here with her mother. My daughter quickly became friends with her and I noticed my daughter coming out of her shell more. Being less shy, more outgoing. I was happy for her to have made a new friend that she was close so quickly with. The friendship quickly turned into best friends. The girl began coming over to our house for sleepovers on the weekends as kids do. They would hang out at the park together in town. She eventually asked to go over to her house to hang out and I said yes. She knew it would just be hanging out during the day as I really didn't know her mother well. My daughter got in the car and told me how much she liked hanging out over there and then proceeded to tell me there roaches crawling on the floor in the girls bedroom, THEN asked if she could stay the night sometime. I told her no and explained to her why and said that her friend is always welcome to come stay at our home. BFF's continue. No harm, no foul.
Fast forward to 7th grade year. Still BFF's. This is great. Especially since girls are so awful to each other ALL THE TIME IN JUNIOR HIGH. Her mom has a work trip and has to travel out of state for a few days during the school week. She asked if her daughter could stay with us. My husband and I agreed that it would be fine and she stayed with us for a few days while her mom was out of state. Still BFF's.
Now it's the middle of 7th grade year, around January (2023). Her mom (46 y/o)started dating a new guy(50 y/o). This guys fiancé had recently left him for another guy. We will call him John. I live in a dominantly republican area if this gives you any idea of the people I'm dealing with/talking about. Anyways, they fall in love and she moves in with John within 6 months of dating each other. (Approx May 2023). Her son decides to move back with his dad. Her other daughter moved in with a boyfriend (she is over 18). So, just the mom and daughter move in with him and his son(irrelevant).
Summer 2023 it is suddenly unfair that Ruth is always coming over to our house, but my daughter never goes over there. My husband(37 y/o) and I(35 y/p) agree that it is ok for her to go over there. John had just recently putting up an above ground pool. We don't have a pool. It's summer. I get it. She goes over there plenty of times, I let her stay late as we just live about a mile or two down the road. John starts building a "cabin" as a "great outlook over the pool". This is basically a cabin/pool house thing up 12 feet above the pool, but kind of to the side. My husband and I think its super weird...but whatever, they continue hanging out back and forth at one another's houses. Ruth continues to stay over a lot. In the midst of all of this and my daughter meeting John she informs me that....John thinks my daughter is a liar. Of course I asked why. John thinks that because my daughter will not look him in the eye when she speaks to him. My daughter is shy and has a lot of anxiety. I told her that she is not required to look him in the eye if she doesn't want to her. Its HER choice. John now has a say in what Ruth wears. He is not allowing her to wear short shorts anymore because it will give off the wrong impression to men dressing that way. Same with tops as far as her chest and stomach. I don't mean extreme stuff either. I mean if she has a shirt that touches her pants, but when she lifts up her arms it shows her stomach it is not allowed. I also really don't care how people choose to allow/not allow their children to dress, it is just that she was previously allowed to wear these things. She is also no longer allowed to hang out in her room alone, she has to hang out with her family in the living room.
Fast forward to a couple of months ago. Still BFF's. My daughter asked for Ruth to stay over. Of course, its fine with my husband and I. However, Ruth cannot stay over because it is now unfair that Ruth always stays at our house and my daughter never stays there. My daughter asked me if she could spend the night over there. She informed me that if she was not able to spend the night over there, then they wouldn't be able to hang out anymore. I figured it was just two teenagers making stuff up to be able to stay somewhere. I always used to do it when I was a kid...all kids do it. I asked my daughter if she wanted to stay there. She was upset, and said yes because if she doesn't then they won't be able to be friends. She said so if she has to do it to be friends with Ruth, then she will. My daughter does not even use public restrooms/school restrooms. The only place she will go to the restroom is at home. My husband and I talked it over and did not allow her to stay because of how he openly talks shit about our daughter, and if you've read above...its giving narcissist. We explained all of this to our daughter.
Later that night there is a knock on our door. Its Ruth mom and John. They asked if they could talk to us. John asked if we called him a pedophile. We didn't. We explain this. Convo continues. Not a heated convo just a normal convo. They continue to talk to let us know that they don't drink or anything but they are facing misdemeanor charges for fighting ANOTHER GIRLS PARENTS in the 8th grade class at a Poker Run for a fundraiser a few months ago but it wasn't their fault. Then John asks if I bought Ruth a tanktop recently. It was a spaghetti strap. John tells my husband and I "Ruth isn't allowed to wear those because soon they will be freshman in highschool and ALL of the seniors have a bet to see how many freshman they can fuck and the ones dressed like that will be the easiest targets" Blood boils . I informed John politely but sternly that girls should not have to worry about how they are dressed, parents should be teaching the BOYS how to behave properly and obtain consent. John also defended a sex offender that was charged for molesting a girlfriends daughter who is disabled and cannot speak or talk for herself. John defended him and said technically she WASNT a minor and he is a good guy. Idc about sex offenders and I do believe in rehabilitation but a crime is a crime. Long convo. Basically chit chatting about our kids. It ended with them telling us that our daughter is always welcome to stay and we said thanks and they left.
Now, Ruth is no longer allowed to hang out with my daughter. Ruth has to ride the bus and cannot get rides home with us because its US. They are not allowed at the park together. She's not allowed here. This is per John and Ruth's mom. They had graduation and Ruth had to make sure John didn't catch her talking to me.
I obviously want my daughter to be happy. She has not given me an attitude about any of this. She has gotten upset and cried and just told me that she would do it if she had to because she doesn't want to lose her friend. She wants to have a good summer but John gives me the CREEPS and narcissist vibes. I also feel like its a control thing for him?
Plz be nice. I'll cry if I'm TA. lol

I am a 32-year-old gay, chubby, feminine male. I've recently had family trouble: my father has gone missing on the Navajo reservation, which has taken a toll on my family. I was never close with my father due to being the oldest and seeing his alcoholic abuse cause domestic violence against my mother. My brother, the second child, who should have been named Junior but wasn't, worshiped our father and started taking up his career. Now that our father is missing, this sibling has taken up the alcoholic title. Though he may not be abusive, my mother and I think he might turn out to be soon. The baby of the family has had a love-hate relationship with our father. He also loves to blame everyone for his personal issues and bad choices. He has mother issues and is now copying our second brother by drinking every day. Both of them drinking has led to poor financial decisions, putting my mother and me in debt as we try to fix our finances and provide food and keep the house up to date. We rent the house we live in, so if we decide to move, the owner will likely charge us for the accumulated minor damages. I think I am the only one worried about this situation. Our mother is devastated by our father's disappearance. In my mind, they were soulmates and high school sweethearts. She was the cheerleader, and he was the sports jock. They loved each other, but my father's alcoholism was a huge problem, so she raised all three of us mostly on her own. There is evidence suggesting foul play in our father's disappearance, adding another layer of complexity to our family troubles. A bit about me: I struggled with coming out of the closet until I had my first boyfriend in 2011. My mother was very homophobic due to her religious upbringing but eventually learned to accept me. That first relationship only lasted a few months because his mother made a comment about my transportation to his home. At the time, I had no car, so I took the bus. When she asked how I got there, his response was "the bus," to which she said, "The bus? Isn't that for peasants?" This made me uncomfortable and led to our breakup. He was my first and only boyfriend, and I've never dated after him. At a young age, I was molested by a male cousin, which I believe influenced my sexuality and femininity. I have forgiven him and learned to move on with my life without blaming him. I've always wanted a job in Hollywood but have come to realize that's not going to happen. However, I landed the second best thing: working and traveling with Broadway shows. I took my first tour for ten months, back in 2022, came home, and took a season off. On this tour, I grew from my experiences and became an independent adult. I feel like I became the best version of myself. On tour, I had no one but myself, and I became independent. Now that I'm back home, I feel like I have to take care of everyone and make decisions for the long run. I'm not going to lie, I was sleeping with guys left and right and living life. When I came home, I reconnected with two guys: one a young African American guy and the other a Hispanic guy. The African American guy was younger than me, well-endowed, about my height, and very slender. We had known each other for the years I was on tour. He was living alone and had his own place. We were hooking up, and that's it. We connected less during my tour. I then reconnected with the Hispanic guy. He is about my age, shorter than me, and very masculine. He's a gentleman. When we first met, he came to my place. I thought that I had cleaned myself well, but when I pulled out my buttplug, I realized I hadn't. I excused myself and re-douched. He was very understanding and sweet about the whole situation, and I fell in love with his charm. When he left that night, I hoped I didn't scare him off, but he messaged me a few weeks later, this time inviting me to his place. He turned on his fireplace and laid blankets on the floor for us, being tender and romantic. After this encounter, I overthought the situation, building an idealized image of him, which made me sick with worry. He says he owns a company, which is why he doesn't reply quickly, but my social media feeds suggest otherwise. He never checks on me, but the African American guy did from time to time. A few weeks after visiting the Hispanic guy, I messaged the African American guy to see if he wanted to meet up. He told me he had become homeless and was looking for a bed at a homeless shelter. He asked if he could stay with me until he found a bed. Despite being undecided, I agreed. The worst part was that he showed me what a relationship with him could be like: affection, endless cuddles, and companionship. It was everything I wished for in a relationship, but I had to remind myself that I was only helping him temporarily. In this short time, he showed me love and what life could be like with a boyfriend. However, we eventually argued over something small, and he left, leaving me heartbroken. Songs from Ariana Grande's album became my anthems: "We Can't Be Friends," "I Wish I Hated You," and "Imperfect for You." I miss him, but he's too young to forgive me. I still see the Hispanic guy, but I fear I'm building him up to be something he's not. He still takes a while to reply to my messages, and I make excuses for his absence. I hope we'll become something, but I think that's unlikely, which also breaks my heart. A week ago, my siblings and mother and I had a huge argument, all of us under the influence. It started with me telling my mother that I wanted to move out. She, being overbearing, shut down and pushed me away from the idea, using my drunk siblings to turn against me. This brought out the worst in everyone, with all the built-up envy and jealousy coming out. Now, I'm indecisive about my future. Should I take a traveling job and leave my mother alone with my siblings, knowing they're not in the right state of mind? Is the person I'm seeing worth my emotional investment?

The word of the Experienced
Guidelines on bullying in Western Pennsylvania School Districts
Teach your sons to abuse other boys. Molesting them if need be.
The boys who are molested will have to deal with it in therapy.
They will be ostracized by their peers.
They will suffer all the more
A young boy when properly abused and sexually hazed will be unable to think properly and consider all around him to be out to get him.
It makes it easier then to paint him as a schizophrenic.
They will be laughed at and scoffed at by your women and humiliated. It's like you've painted on your enemy a red letter A as a kid. Imagine trying to manage all those feelings as a kid. HAHA! He'll never have a chance.
It's funny too. Through and through. We do this because we can get away with it and we marry and have children all over the state of PA. Our wives and girlfriends they never find out. No one ever knows. But we just blame the victim and when they get angry, we'll just string em up.
After your sons sexually abuse him, make sure that you and your neighbors team up on his family members and call HIM and THEM the strange one's. After all, they adopted children from another country and raised them here. What a weakness.
Orphans. Next to trash.
Their mothers will make a mockery of it. Remember this in how you raise your young men. Molest other boys if need be so that you can conquer them easier. Whenever the victim seeks to rise out of the place of their abuse, paint them as a madman and a shooter. That if they fight back they’ll be like a columbine shooter. This way you can control them while your sons abuse them psychologically. Don’t worry, it’s nothing new. This is what happened to a boy I knew in Pittsburgh, Pa. We had our way with him promptly and he grew up this way. He never healed and he was kicked around by people endlessly until around thirty one. Never saved more than fifteen thousand dollars and was completely disabled because of the sexual abuse and hazing we caused him as a boy. He was an orphan. We made sure as a young man that we drugged him well enough with a bunch of friends that gave him drugs and treated him less than he was worth. He was middle class so we made sure to get him after he was sexually abused as a ten year old and fifteen to be around the wrong crowd so we could make him estranged from the family that cared about him. Of course, he wasn’t able to make friends after ten because the kids on the bus of the school he went to were all touching each others privates, but whenever it came out that they did it they all just blamed the orphan boy and he took the fall for the whole neighborhood. That’s exactly what we did to him. It was pretty funny to see him grow up this way, we watched as his entire life fell apart and he lost everything. Never able to find sanity. From what I heard after our sons had their way with him sexually and drugged and abused him he never got any better. Every time people saw him the only thing they would do is stare at him, like he was a kind of example of what happens when you’re an orphan bastard in America. You get what white power brings to orphans from another country, nobody wanted him so we made sure to make it that way forever. We redneck trash love to blur the lines between molestation and friendship. It makes the most sense to us to inspire severe mental health issues in children and then act like nothing happened. We’re waiting for him to kill himself. We’re excited to watch. Oh another thing, there’s a judge in Allegheny country we’ve been using who was selling cocaine and harassing young boys. We kept him on the stand for many years.
We’ll get away with this forever. It’s funny to watch.
What's more to us is that we have control of most of Western Pennsylvania. The young boy orphan who we know always did try to fight back. We loved sending the police to his house while our sons got away with sexually assaulting him, drugging him, and abusing him. He played sports with him so we made sure that the cops son definitely got to fondle his testicles against his will. Whenever he got angry and threatened to fight back or act like he was gonna shoot someone we just would send the cops dad to his house to "calm him down" a little while we all got away with it. The funniest part was watching his mother and father turn against this kid. They didn't even want that idiot anymore, they just wanted to throw the boy out and put him in a psych ward because they just thought he was a complete and total fuck up. After all he was the weak one for getting molested right? He was the fuck up for being sexually hazed and keeping quiet right? Not much of a man that fifteen year old boy was huh? While the people in Allegheny county all just act like it's nothing new. We like how we abuse our young boys out here especially the orphans from other countries.
How we relished this cute twinks pain. We loved telling him he was a saintly figure. "Saint --------------" we called him. It was funny to watch, all his friends convincing him it was his job to be like a holy figure. While they took advantage of him, drugged him, and ruined his relationship with his mother. He would take the trays up for the kids and especially the cops son who would touch his dick, by his junior year he didn't know the difference between being molested anymore and just being a willing participant. It's like the kid hadn't a single clue but the whole rest of the school and staff knew but, just because he was an orphan they chose to not do anything. After all, an orphan boy? It's like nothing happens to them. They aren't people after all especially if they're from another country. It was really enjoyable overall watching this kid lose everything. Last I heard he spent nine years tortured, night terrors every night. Disability.
Ah well. Keep Pennsylvania Proud.
Go Stillers!
He goes on. Unseen and unheard. But we know the truth.
(Based on the screwtape letters and real events)

I can’t keep doing this, I just got into a fight with my mom she struck me and I hit her back, then my brothers came running down and separated us then she started talking about how I’m disobent disrespect and how I always lie to her and her w my brothers have never lied to her once in her entire life. And then yelled at me saying they didn’t rape me and it was fault if anything ever happened and that I’m lying about it, I have to fucking get on the bus with on them every single fucking day. And she told them if they ever did anything wrong to me they should come out and apologize now, then she asked them if they ever assaulted me in any type of way and one of them lied while the other said nothing. Then she asked me why didn’t I tell her what was happening and why I didn’t do anything to stop it, and then she blamed it on my dad saying he had to do something to them first for them to do something to me. How can you not understand that they did it on their own account? And then she said I’m going to the up promiscuous like my older sister because she was molested also. One of my brothers apologized for raping me blaming it on hormones and how I was the “only girl in the house “ and I hope you can forgive me I know that you might not accept it but I’m sorry. And my other brother said nothing. And then my mother started blaming my dad for it again saying she failed all her children as a parent and how she failed me and that I should have came and told her what was happening. And then she said she forgives them for what they did to me and how they need to ask God for forgiveness, I can’t fucking comprehend how you can forgive them for raping me. I can’t stay here any longer and she keeps blaming everyone else for everything that’s happened and she always puts them above me and treats me like the black sheep. I didn’t grow up with my other siblings and one them got taken by they came back during their teen years so they don’t know about anything that has been happening at home, I don’t have anyone I trust to tell this too and I still have 3 years until I’m 18 so I can’t move out. I despise myself so much and I have nothing to live for, 15 fucking years of hurt and pain and I have nothing to account for it. No one on this earth loves me and I can’t love myself and I can’t handle the thought of ever being inmate with someone after everything that’s happens so how would I ever get married? I am so tired of waking up everyday and being in this house, everyday feels the same and I have seen them both every single day since my other brother got back from college. My mom won’t let me see my sisters and she yells at me when I try to leave the house but then she yells at me when I’m at home, I feel so pathetic and worthless. I can’t keep doing this, nothing in my life has meaning or accounts for anything. I feel like I’m falling back into my old ways I just get so sad and angry and I end up taking it out on myself I use to cut my shoulders and I’ve been thinking about starting again. I am trying so hard

This is the second half of my list for Florida's execution roster. As stated in the first part, I split it into two halves in order to follow reddit's character count limitations. Link to part 1.
The currently 105 executed offenders, cases 53 to 105:
53. Aileen Wuornos (~1974-2002, lethal injection): Wuornos murdered 7 men between the ages of 47-65. She was a street prostitute that enticed her victims with promises of sexual favors. After a victim was entrapped, Wuornos shot them dead, and robbed them of their money and their vehicles. Although Wuornos initially claimed that she killed the victims in self defense, she later admitted that they were murdered for their valuables. Her criminal history was extensive, and she had several convictions for armed robbery, assault, DUIs, reckless discharge of firearms, and disorderly conduct. She was also accused of domestic violence by an ex husband, and he placed a restraining order on her within weeks of their marriage.
54. Linroy Bottoson (~1971-2002, lethal injection): In a robbery of a post office, Bottoson stole $14,000 in money orders and $100 in cash, and abducted the post mistress, 74 year old Catherine Alexander. After holding her captive for 3 days, Bottoson stabbed Alexander 16 times, and ran her over with his car. He had several robberies on his criminal record.
55. Amos King Jr. (~1972-2002, lethal injection): After he escaped from a minimum security prison, King broke into the home of 68 year old Natalie Brady and assaulted her. She was raped, stabbed, and savagely beaten in the attack. King then set her house on fire, and returned back to the prison. At his arrival, the prison counselor confronted him about his absence and bloodied clothing. He was stabbed 25 times by King, but managed to survive his injuries. Despite her injuries, Brady managed to crawl out of her burning home, but succumbed to blood loss shortly before help could arrive. King had a previous conviction for robbery.
56. Newton Slawson (1989-2003, lethal injection): Slawson went over to the home of the Wood family (consisting of parents, 23 year old Gerald and 21 year old Peggy, and their children, 4 year old Jennifer and 3 year old Glendon) to buy some cocaine. During an argument over the transaction, Slawson shot and killed Gerald, Jennifer, and Glendon, and wounded Peggy. Slawson then stabbed Peggy (who was 8 months pregnant) with such force that he tore her unborn child out of her womb.
57. Paul Hill (1994-2003, lethal injection): During an attack on an abortion clinic, Hill shot and killed John Britton, a 69 year old abortionist, and his bodyguard, 74 year old James Barrett. Britton’s wife, 68 year old June, was also wounded in the shooting. Hill was a hardline pro life activist and Christian fundamentalist, and saw ending abortion by any means necessary as his personal divine mission.
58. Johnny Robinson (~1980s-2004, lethal injection): Robinson and his teenage accomplice picked up 31 year old Beverly St. George when they found her broken down on the side of the road. They then raped St. George and shot her to death. He tried to claim that they had consensual relations and St. George was hit by an accidental discharge during intercourse. If Robinson's "recollection" was to be believed, he then shot her again to cover up an "accidental" shooting of a white woman. The courts weren't convinced by the defense, and the accomplice admitted that the murder was entirely deliberate and calculated from the beginning. Robinson had several rape convictions and accusations before St. George's murder.
59. John Blackwelder (~1970s-2004, lethal injection): While incarcerated for molesting a 10 year old boy, Blackwelder tied up his cellmate, 39 year old Raymond Wigley, under the alleged pretenses of a bondage session and strangled him to death with makeshift rope. According to Blackwelder, Wigley had been sexually harassing him, and he wanted to put a permeant end to the unwanted advances. Blackwelder had several sexual assault convictions dating back to the 1970s, and was also previously convicted for threatening former vice president Dan Quayle. His victim was the accomplice of another executed offender, John Marek, and was serving a life sentence for assisting him in the torture murder of a woman [for more details on Marek and Wigley's crimes, please see section 68] at the time of his own death.
60. Glen Ocha (1999-2005, lethal injection): Ocha picked up 28 year old Carol Skjerva from a bar and they had sex in his home. However, Skjerva allegedly made mocking remarks towards his genitals and threatened to tell her fiance of their encounter. In a drunken rage and under the influence of ecstasy, Ocha hung her with rope from his kitchen door.
61. Clarence Hill (1982-2006, lethal injection): During an attempted bank robbery with an accomplice, Hill engaged in a shootout with the responding policemen. One of the officers, 26 year old Stephen Taylor, was killed and another was wounded.
62. Arthur Rutherford (1985-2006, lethal injection): Rutherford was hired by a widow, 63 year old Stella Salamon, to do odd jobs around her home. He then drowned Salamon in her bathtub and tried to cash in a check of $2,000 from her account. Salamon's nude body was found with a broken arm, bruising all across her face, and three head wounds.
63. Danny Rolling (~1960s-2006, lethal injection): Rolling murdered a total of 8 people between the ages of 8-55. In 1989, Rolling stabbed 55 year old William Grissom, William’s 24 year old daughter Julie, and his 8 year old grandson Sean to death in their home. Julie’s body was ritualistically mutilated and posed during the attack. A year later, he shot his estranged father, 59 year old James. Although James survived, he was left permanently blind. Rolling then burglarized several student dorms in a week long rampage. Five students, 23 year old Tracy Paules, 23 year old Manuel Taboda, 18 year old Sonja Larson, 17 year old Christa Hoyt, and 17 year old Christina Powell, were bound, raped, and stabbed to death. Only Taboada was spared from any sexual abuse. As with Julia Grissom, Rolling posed the female victims into provocative positions and mutilated their bodies. Roiling decapitated Hoyt and placed her head on a cabinet shelf for the sole purpose of shocking witnesses stumbling across the scene. He had a long history of robberies, assaults, and voyeurism, and some of his earliest convictions occurred when he was a teenager.
64. Ángel Díaz (~1960s-2006, lethal injection): In his native Puerto Rico, Díaz stabbed an unidentified man, who was a director of a local drug rehabilitation center, 19 times while the victim was asleep. Díaz was sentenced for second degree murder, but he escaped after beating a guard near death, and fled to Florida. During his stay in Florida, Díaz and his accomplices robbed a strip club at gunpoint, and shot and killed the manager, 49 year old Joseph Nagy. After Nagy’s murder, he and his accomplices relocated themselves to Connecticut. However, they were arrested for a possession of illegal firearms charge. Díaz and 3 other inmates briefly managed to escape by beating up a guard and threatening another at knifepoint, but were quickly recaptured. After a cellmate testified that Díaz confessed to Nagy’s murder, he was deported back to Florida and sentenced to death. His execution sparked controversy, as it took him 34 minutes to succumb to the lethal drugs. Díaz’s other criminal convictions include shooting and injuring an officer during an armed robbery and several drug possession charges. Authorities also suspected him of being involved with several Puerto Rican nationalist insurgent groups.
65. Mark Schwab (1987-2008, lethal injection): Schwab lured 11 year old Junny Rios-Martinez into a motel room by posing as a photographer for a surfing magazine. He bound Rios-Martinez, anally penetrated him, and smothered the boy to death with a pillow. Schwab also had a conviction for the sexual battery of a 13 year old boy, and he was released after serving 3 out of an 8 year prison sentence months before Rios-Martinez's murder.
66. Richard Henyard (1993-2008, lethal injection): Henyard and his teenage accomplice carjacked 35 year old Dorothy Lewis, and her two daughters, 7 year old Jamilya and 3 year old Jasmine. The pair raped Dorothy, and shot and killed both of her daughters. Dorothy was also shot in the head, but was able to survive. Dorothy recounted that she tried praying for her and her children's safety, and Henyard taunted her by mockingly claiming to be Satan himself.
67. Wayne Tompkins (~1980s-2008, lethal injection): While helping his girlfriend move from their home, Tompkins made sexual advances on her 15 year old daughter, Lisa DeCarr. When she rejected him, Tompkins raped and strangeld her to death with a bathrobe, and tried to report DeCarr as a runaway. Tompkins also had several sexual assault convictions and accusations prior to the murder. One incident involved him abducting and abusing a gas station clerk.
68. John Marek (~1980s-2008, lethal injection): Marek and his accomplice, Raymond Wigley, picked up 47 year old Adela Simmons. They forced Simmons to perform oral sex on them, burned her fingers and pubic hairs, and strangled her to death with a bandana. The pair then dumped her body near a beach. Marek was sentenced to death for Simmons' murder, while Wigley was given a life sentence. While in prison, Wigley himself was strangled to death by the above mentioned John Blackwelder.
69. Martin Grossman (1984-2010, lethal injection): Grossman was given probation after a spree involving the burglary of an ex girlfriend's home and stealing cars. While out shooting a stolen handgun with a friend, they were confronted by Margaret Park, a 26 year old wildlife ranger. Wanting to avoid being arrested and put back into prison for violating his parole, Grossman and his friend attacked Park with a flashlight. They wrestled her service pistol away from her and shot and killed Park with it. Due to Grossman being Jewish, his death sentence outraged several Jewish organizations across the globe, and they petitioned ceaselessly for his clemency.
70. Manuel Valle (1978-2011, lethal injection): While driving a stolen car, Valle was pulled over by Louis Pena, a 41 year old police officer, for a traffic violation. In the confrontation, Valle shot Pena and his partner. Although Pena was killed in the shooting, his partner's life was saved by a bullet proof vest.
71. Oba Chandler (~1960s-2011, lethal injection): Chandler enticed a woman, 36 year old Joan Rogers, and her two daughters, 17 year old Michelle and 14 year old Christe, with the promise of a boat ride. On board, he bound the family with rope and raped all three of them. Chandler then tied concrete blocks around Joan and her daughters' necks and tossed them into the ocean to drown. He also raped and strangled 20 year old Ivelisse Berrios–Beguerisse after abducting her from a mall, and was linked to the murder by a 2014 DNA test 3 years after his execution. Chandler was an inveterate sexual predator with a very long criminal history, and was first arrested for car theft in his early teens. Many of his other crimes include several convictions of armed robbery, burglary, rape, counterfeiting, and kidnapping. In one incident, he broke into a couple’s house, and sexually assaulted the wife in front of her husband. One surviving victim, a 24 year old Canadian tourist, helped investigators tie Chandler to the Rogers’ murders with her reports.
72. Robert Waterhouse (~1966-2012, lethal injection): In 1966, Waterhouse snuck into the home of 77 year old Ella Carter, and raped and strangled her to death. He was paroled after serving 8 years of a life sentence. A few years later, Waterhouse picked up 29 year old Deborah Kammerer from a bar and assaulted her on a nearby beach. He stabbed and violated Kammerer with a broken bottle, shoved a tampon down her throat, and drowned her in the ocean waters.
73. David Gore (1981-2012, lethal injection): Gore and his cousin abducted and murdered 4 teenage girls (17 year old Ying Hua Ling, 17 year old Lynn Eilliot, 14 year old Angelica LaVallee, 14 year old Barbara Byer) and 2 grown women (48 year old Hsiang Huang Ling and 35 year old Judith Daley). The victims were kidnapped through force, picked up while hitchhiking, or tricked into thinking that Gore was a police officer detaining them. They were then tied up, raped, and shot or strangled to death. The cousins dismembered the bodies in their attempts to destroy them and buried the scattered remains in shallow graves. Two of their victims, Ying Hua Ling and Hsiang Huang Ling, were a mother and daughter pair of Taiwanese immigrants, and the cousins murdered them together. A 7th victim, 14 year old friend of Eilliot, was also abducted and sodomized, but she managed to escape with Eilliot's help.
74. Manuel Pardo Jr. (1986-2012, lethal injection): Pardo was a corrupt cop heavily involved in the drug trade. After his department fired him for his abuse of power and suspected tampering of investigations, Pardo went on a crime spree. He shot and killed at least 9 men and women in robberies and interpersonal disputes. The victims he murdered in robberies were 39 year old Ulpiano Ledo, 37 year old Luis Robledo, 33 year old Mario Amador, and 28 year old Roberto Alons. In every robbery incident, he stole the victims’ credit cards. Pardo killed 28 year old Fara Quintero in an argument over a ring he pawned to her and 30 year old Sara Musa for refusing his demands of buying him a VCR set with a credit card stolen from one of his previous robberies. Another victim, Michael Millot, a 38 year old Haitian refugee that took up work as a gunsmith, was slain out of Pardo’s fears of him being a police informant. His last murders were 40 year old Ramon Alvero, a drug dealer that he work for, and Alvaro’s girlfriend, 38 year old Daisy Ricard. Pardo turned on the couple after Alvaro stiffed him of a meeting. He shot Alvaro dead, but Padro’s gun jammed when he tried to shoot Ricard as well. As he was beating Ricard to death with his gun, it discharged and hit Pardo’s foot. On death row, Pardo tried to fashion himself as a vigilante trying to rid Florida of all drug related crimes.
75. Larry Mann (~1970s-2012, lethal injection): Mann ambushed 10 year old Elisa Nelson while she was biking from school to a dentist appointment. He raped Nelson and beat her to death with a pipe. Authorities also initially suspected Mann in the murders of several girls in the area, such as 16 year old Janie Sanders and 13 year old Rose Levandoski, but the current thinking is that another (still unknown) predator was likely responsible. Although he had convictions against adult women, Mann was a pedophile with a history of mostly preying on young girls.
76. Elmer Carroll (~1972-2012, lethal injection): Carroll broke into the room of 10 year old Christine McGowan. He raped and strangled the girl to death, tucked the body underneath the bedsheets, and stole her stepfather's construction truck. McGowan's body discovered was by her stepfather when he came to check on her. At the time of the murder, Carroll had two separate convictions (including one against his then 5 year old niece) for child molestation and was first accused of rape at the age of 16.
77. William Van (~1971-2013, lethal injection): Poyck Van Poyck and another man, Frank Valdez, ambushed a prison van that their incarcerated friend was being transported in with the intent of freeing him. The pair shot and killed a guard, 40 year old Fred Griffis and wounded another. Despite overtaking the van, they were forced to retreat without their friend with the arrival of police reinforcements. Both were captured after a brief shootout with the police and were given death sentences for Griffis’ murder. The case sparked controversy when Valdez was beaten to death by other prison guards in his cell. The officers involved were all fired but acquitted for murder in their trials. Van Poyck had several convictions of armed robbery on his record.
78. John Ferguson (~1960s-2013, lethal injection): Ferguson was the mastermind of the Carol City massacre that his above mentioned accomplices, Marvin Francois and Beauford White, participated in. He also committed a series of murders on his own. Two of his other victims, 17 year old Brian Glenfeldt and 17 year old Belinda Worley, were a couple that were ambushed in the parking lot of an ice cream shop. Ferguson raped Worley, shot her and Glenfeldt dead, and ran off with her jewelry and Glenfeldt’s wallet. Another couple, 82 year old Katherine and 75 year old Raymond Perry, were assaulted by Ferguson in their motel room, robbed, and shot dead execution style. Authorities also believe that Ferguson was responsible for the murders of James Ward, a 40 year old runaway from a mental institution, and Joseph Walters (age unknown), but was never convicted of them in court. Ferguson had a troubled upbringing, was stealing cars at the age of 13, and convicted for the attempted murder of an officer. Due to allegations of him being a schizophrenic, his execution was delayed numerous times, which is why he was put to death decades after his accomplices.
79. Marshall Gore (1988-2013, lethal injection): Gore abducted and murdered two women, 30 year old Robyn Novick and 19 year old Susan Roark. Both women were last seen in his company, and they were raped, beaten, and stabbed to death. He also carjacked 32 year old Tina Coralis while she was driving with her 2 year old son Jimmy. Gore raped Tina, beat her with a rock, slit her throat, dumped her on the side of the road, and drove off with her car while Jimmy was still in it. Tina survived the attack and notified the police about her kidnapped son and stolen car. The police were able to rescue Jimmy unharmed and capture Gore without incident.
80. William Happ (~1980s-2013, lethal injection): Happ dragged 21 year old Angela Crowley out of her own car window in a convenience store parking lot. He anally raped and strangled Crowley to death with her pants. A corner's report mentioned that Crowley received over 20 blows to her head during the assault. Happ had several convictions of armed robbery, one of which pertained to an abduction incident.
81. Darius Kimbrough (1991-2013, lethal injection): Kimbrough climbed into the apartment window of 28 year old Denise Collin with the help of a ladder. He raped and repeatedly slammed her head against the wall. She was found bloodied and nude by the paramedics called to the scene. Collin died of her injuries in the hospital a day after the attack. Her murder went unsolved until samples of Kimbrough’s DNA were collected from another one of his rapes. With the presence of additional pubic hairs found in Collin’s room, at least two other men were also certainly involved, but they remain at large to this day.
82. Thomas Knight (~1960s-2013, lethal injection): Knight began his string of murders by abducting his former employer, 64 year old Sydney Gans, and Sydney's wife, 60 year old Lillian. After her forced them to withdraw $50,000 from their bank accounts, Knight shot the Gans' dead. He was apprehended and, but he managed to escape from jail while awaiting trial. While on the run, Knight gunned down a clerk, 54 year old William Culpepper, while holding up a liquor store, and $640 from the cash register. A month later, Knight was recaptured following an armed standoff with police, and sentenced to death for the Gan killings. On death row, he stabbed a correctional officer, 48 year old Richard Burke, to death with a sharpened spoon over the prison allegedly barring him from seeing his mother. Knight had numerous theft and burglary convictions that date back to when he was 9 years old.
83. Juan Chavez (1995-2014, lethal injection): Chavez accosted 9 year old Jimmy Ryce when the boy was dropped off at a stop by a school bus, and abducted him at gunpoint. He took Ryce to a trailer on his employers' property and raped him. When Ryce tried to signal a passing helicopter for help, Chavez shot him in the back of the head, and muffled his cries as he died. The body was then decapitated and dismembered, and Chavez buried the remains near his trailer.
84. Paul Howell (~1990s-2014, lethal injection): Howell was part of a drug smuggling gang. One of the members had a falling out with the ring and made an agreement with law enforcement to testify against them. Howell constructed a microwave bomb to assassinate the witness in her home, and he assigned an associate to carry out the hit. As he was transporting the bomb to its intended destination, the associate was pulled over and detained by deputies. While being processed, the bomb detonated prematurely, and killed a deputy, 35 year old James Fulford, Jr.
85. Robert Henry (1987-2014, lethal injection): As part of his plan to assault the gas station that he worked at, Henry tricked his co workers, 53 year old Phyllis Harris and 35 year old Janet Thermidor, into thinking that a robber was holding him hostage. He duped the women into allowing themselves to be tied up and gagged, as Henry claimed to them that the fictitious "robber" was forcing him to do it. Both women were beaten with hammers as Henry ransacked the station’s store. After he stole a total of $1,269 from the register, he poured gasoline all over the building, and set it on fire. Thermidor and Harris were burned alive in the blaze and died of their injures, but Thermidor survived long enough to identify Henry as the assailant.
86. Robert Hendrix (1990-2014, lethal injection): To prevent his cousin, 25 year old Elmer Scott Jr., from testifying against him in a then upcoming burglary trail, Hendrix broke into the home that he shared with his wife, 18 year old Susan, with an accomplice. He shot Susan and Elmer, beat them with the butt of his rifle, and slashed their throats. In the case that he was about to be tried for, Elmer and Hendrix burglarized a home together, and Elmer agreed to testify against him in exchange for a reduced sentence.
87. John Henry (~1975-2014, lethal injection): In 1975, Henry got into an argument with his first wife, 28 year old Patricia Roddy, while they were driving with her daughters. Henry pulled over and stabbed Patricia to death in front of her children. After he plead guilty, Henry was given a 15 year sentence for second degree murder, and was released in 1983 after serving 8. Shortly after his release, he married 28 year old Suzanne Overstreet. As what happened with his first wife, he fatally stabbed Suzanne during an argument in 1985. He then took his stepson, 4 year old Eugene Christian, to a chicken farm and stabbed him to death as well. Henry also had several convictions for the possession of drugs and illegal firearms.
88. Eddie Davis (~1980s-2014, lethal injection): Davis kidnapped his ex girlfriend's daughter, 11 year Kimberly Waters, from her home and gagged her with a rag. He took the girl to a trailer that he used to live in, and raped and strangled her to death. His criminal activity before the murder included several arrests for burglary and autotheft.
89. Chadwick Banks (1992-2014, lethal injection): Banks shot his wife, 30 year old Cassandra, in the head while she was sleeping on their couch. He then crept into the room of his stepdaughter, 10 year old Melody Cooper, and sexually assaulted her. Melody was also shot dead during the abuse.
90. Johnny Kormondy (~1989-2014, lethal injection): Kormondy and his two accomplices invaded a house that Gary McAdams, a 38 year old banker, shared with his wife, 38 year old Cecilia. The couple were ambushed after they returned home from a high school reunion. Gary was shot and killed by Kormondy, while Cecilia was forced to orally copulate the other intruders. Several items were stolen in the robbery, but my sources didn’t disclose any specifics. Kormondy had several previous convictions of robberies and auto thefts, and the earliest occurred when he was 14.
91. Jerry Correll (1985-2015, lethal injection): Correll shot and killed his ex wife, 25 year old Susan, their daughter, 5 year old Tuesday, Susan's sister, 29 year old Marybeth Jones, and their mother, 58 year old Mary Lou Hines. All four victims were murdered in a home they shared together.
92. Oscar Bolin (~1977-2015, lethal injection): Bolin was sentenced to death for the abductions and murders of 26 year old Teri Matthews, 25 year old Natalie Holley, and 17 year old Stephanie Collins. All 3 victims were kidnapped while they were getting off from work, raped, and killed in beating and stabbing attacks. He raped and strangled a fourth victim, 30 year old Deborah Stowe, to death in Texas, but wasn't charged due to already facing the death penalty in Florida. Bolin also took part in the non fatal abduction and gang rape of a waitress in Ohio, was charged for kidnapping his girlfriend (which were later dropped by the courts), and had several theft convictions that started when he was 15.
93. Mark Asay (1987-2017, lethal injection): Asay shot and killed a black man, 34 year old Robert Booker, during a racially charged fight that he picked at a bar. After Booker's murder, Asay, his brother, and their friend went cruising for prostitutes. They encountered a cross dressing sex worker, 26 year old Robert McDowell, they were acquainted with and picked him up. McDowell was also shot dead by Asay when they got into an argument over payment for an oral sex act.
94. Michael Lambrix (1983-2017, lethal injection): While intoxicated, Lambrix beat one of his friends, 35 year old Clarence Moore, to death with a tire iron, and fatally strangled another friend, 19 year old Aleisha Bryant, with a t-shirt in their trailer. He was previously arrested for welfare fraud and was detained for an unspecified "unrelated charge" during the murder investigation.
95. Patrick Hannon (1991-2017, lethal injection): 27 year old Brandon Snider vandalized the bedroom of his ex girlfriend while she was away on vacation. The ex girlfriend's brother was friends with Hannon, and he convinced him to launch a revenge attack on Snider with the help of another friend. They broke into Snider's apartment, stabbed him, and slit his throat. Snider's roommate, 28 year old Robert Carter, witnessed the murder, and tried hiding underneath his bed. Hannon dragged Carter out and shot him to death.
96. Eric Branch (1991-2018, lethal injection): In 1993, Branch abducted and carjacked 21 year old Susan Morris. He raped, beat, and strangled her to death, and then buried Morris' body in a shallow grave near a nature trail. Branch used Morris' car to flee back to his native Indiana, but was captured for a traffic violation. A registered sex offender, Branch had previous convictions for sexually abusing a 14 year old girl, and raped an unidentified woman 10 days before Morris' murder.
97. José Jiménez (~1990-2018, lethal injection): Jiménez fatally strangled Marie Debas, a 32 year old French woman who was allegedly in a relationship with a Medellin cartel drug runner, during a burglary of her apartment. Two years later, he burglarized the home of 63 year old Phyllis Minas, and stabbed her to death.
98. Bobby Long (~1990-2018, lethal injection): As the “Classified Ad Rapist”, Long raped over 50 women. He was given that epithet due to contacting and luring his victims through classified ads. After one of his victims sought charges that initially convicted him (though were later dropped on appeals), Long’s pattern of sexual violence escalated to murder. Long murdered at least 10 women and teenage girls between the ages of 18-28 and non fatally assaulted a 33 year old woman, Linda Nuttall, and a 17 year old girl, Lisa McVey. The victims were picked up through hitchhiking, forcibly grabbed while walking alone on streets, or were prostitutes lured with promises of payment for sexual favors. Long’s sparing of his last victim, McVey, provided to be his downfall, as it was her meticulously detailed reports that led law enforcement to him.
99. Gary Bowles (~1970s-2019, lethal injection): Bowles lured 6 men, 72 year old Milton Bradley, 59 year old John Roberts, 47 year old Walter Hinton, 47 year old Alverson, 39 year old David Jarman, and 38 year old Albert Morris by prostituting himself to them. Once a victim was enticed, Bowles strangled them, and stole their credit cards. He also had several convictions for armed robbery, hospitalized his stepfather in his early teens, and served a 6 year prison sentence for sexually assaulting his girlfriend.
100. Donald Dillbeck (~1979-2023, lethal injection): In 1979, Dillbeck stole a car, and was pulled over by a deputy, 31 year old Dwight Hall. After a prolonged chase and scuffle, Dillbeck shot and killed Hall with his own gun. He was then given a life sentence for Hall's murder. Dillbeck escaped from prison in 1990, and stabbed 44 year old Robbie Vann to death while trying to seize her car. The pursuing officers recaptured him shortly after the killing, and he was sentenced to death for Vann's murder.
101. Louis Gaskin (~1986-2023, lethal injection): Gaskin started his burglary spree by breaking into the home of couple, 56 year old Robert and 55 year old Georgette Sturmfels. He shot them both dead, and stole their lamp, VCR set, and some jewelry and money. His second target was a house owned by 38 year old Joseph Rector and his wife Mary (age unknown). Although Gaskin shot Joseph, the couple both managed to escape him with their lives. Due to him wearing a ninja costume as a disguise during the robberies, he was dubbed as the "Ninja Killer" by media outlets. Gaskin also had a few robbery convictions at the time of the murders.
102. Darryl Barwick (1983-2023, lethal injection): Barwick stalked 24 year old Rebecca Wendt as she was sunbathing in a pool, followed her to her apartment, and forced himself inside to rob it. He stabbed Wendt 37 times and raped her. At the age of 16, Barwick had committed a similar act of rape and burglary against an unidentified woman, and was released from prison 3 months before Wendt's murder.
103. Duane Owen (1984-2023, lethal injection): Owen raped 14 year old Karen Slattery while burglarizing a home she was babysitting at, and stabbed her to death. A few months later, Owen burglarized another home owned by 38 year old Georgianna Worden. She was sexually assaulted and fatally beaten with a hammer. He was captured while breaking into another house on the same day, and confessed to Worden and Slattery's murders
104. James Barnes (~1988-2023, lethal injection): In 1988, Barnes invaded the home of 41 year old Patricia Miller, and tied her up with her own shoelaces. She was sexually assaulted, beaten to death with a hammer, and Barnes set her bed on fire to destroy any evidence of the crime. 9 years later, Barnes strangled his estranged wife, 44 year old Linda, to death in her home, and stuffed the body into a closet. He stayed in the house until he was arrested by police officers. Barnes also admitted to the shooting deaths of Chester Wetmore, a 14 year old runaway, and Brenda Fletcher, a 50 year old prostitute, but was never charged for their killings. According to Barnes, he killed both victims for stealing from him.
105. Michael Zack III (1996-2023, lethal injection): Zack befriended two women, 40 year old Laura Rosillo and 31 year old Ravonne Smith, while hanging out at bars. He lured Rosillo to the beach with the promise of drugs, and assaulted her with a tire iron. Rosillo was raped, strangled to death, and he buried her body in a sand dune. A day later, he tricked Smith into letting him inside her house. She was smashed in the head with a glass bottle, raped, and stabbed to death. Zack then fled with her car, television set, VCR, and her purse. On a different note, when he was a child, Zack’s older sister dismembered their mother with an ax over an argument regarding the sister’s boyfriend. He used that story to gain the sympathy of his victims. His sister (who was simply institutionalized rather then incarcerated for the murder) also testified about their stepfather’s alleged abuse of them at his trial, though the prosecutors debunked most of her stories.

I (21f) moved out and live with my bf. My mother works at Walmart and Ross as a side job. My mom continuously asks me for money. Me and my mother don’t have the best history and I personally don’t really like helping her, mostly due to the fact that I was raised poorly by her (when I say poorly I mean poorly parenting wise) my mom is a liar, very too faced women, and when I needed help and was doing things on my own, she didn’t help me.
My mom is a selfish person and if money is involved in anything, she’s a dog. My childhood was rough because of her and unfortunately my sisters will be as well (12 and 7 years old). She always begs my sister dad for money and he gives it to her but she would always use the kids as an excuse. He literally helps her with half of the bills and he gives her money for the kids but we never understood where all the money goes because she’s always crying that she can’t pay her bills, my sisters don’t have the best clothes and they’re always going to school looking a mess. My mom is the worst human being and I have so much resentment for her. She only contacts me when she needs money and will act like she wants to know how I’m doing so she can ask me for money. She’s put us in bad situations that I had to get ourselves out of (almost getting kicked out even though she knew months in advance that landlord was selling the house)
I also hate helping my mother because she never tries to improve herself, she continues her acts because she knows she has support systems in her corner that will help her whenever she needs. I usually feel guilty when I don’t sometimes and end up sending her money anyways. I want to cut her out of my life but I can’t because I don’t want to let my sisters suffer so I try and help them as much as I can. My mom doesn’t do her job as a parent, I resent her so much because she raised my sisters so poorly and I warned her of the outcome and tried to help her parent properly but my mom never listens. I feel bad for my sisters because this isn’t their fault that they’re bad and don’t listen.
Anyway, sorry about the rant but if she would put some effort in improving then ok but she doesn’t. Is it bad that I don’t like helping her and want to just stop?
Edit: I see people here saying that I’m upset that she’s poor, I wish I could type my whole life out but I can’t but I’ll give you guys some ideas. She raised me around a bunch of child molesters, in high school I needed her the most I was bad in school, hanging around the wrong crowd, I was crying out for help, when I was sitting in front of her face balling my eyes out telling her how I felt she laughed at me and called me crazy, since that day everything changed, I became a hate filled mess, that day if she would’ve been there for me I feel everything would’ve been different, that day will always be implanted in my brain till the day I die. My whole teenage years I tried building a bond with this women but she would tell me something different then turn her back and talk shit about me to my old step dad. When he was living with us, for years he was molesting me, I told her about it finally when I was 18 years old, instead of kicking him out of the house to protect her youngest daughters, she let him stay and didn’t say anything to him. I always did everything on my own even if it didn’t involve money, everyday when I didn’t have a car and I was taking the bus to and from work in the hot sweating heat, she never tried to help me, she’d get slick with me and give me an attitude. So yes I fucking hate her. I had a discussion with her years ago and told her I am not interested in building a bond but she needs to raise my sisters better then she raised me and she’s doing an awful job at it. She wants to move this random man that she met in Haiti into our home with my little sisters, she has no sort of awareness and I had to scream at her that I am not allowing her to let that random man in the house. (Maybe he isn’t that kind of guy but my mom is careless and I want to protect my sisters as much as I can) My mom cares about men more than she does her own daughters which is why I’ve been molested multiple times as a kid. For years I have been trying to teach my mother on how to be a mother, she could care less. So everyone jumping to conclusions that I hate my mom because she’s poor can fuck off, if anything I’ll take being in poverty if it means I’d be protected and loved by my mother.
There’s more to this but I needed her as a mother since I was young and she was never there so I don’t feel I should be for her either, I’m sticking around to help my sisters as much as I can but my mom can suffer for all I care.

For the first time since his incarceration, Bankman-Fried described his daily life in a detailed interview with journalist William D. Cohan of Puck:

On a recent Tuesday, I went to the Metropolitan Detention Center in Brooklyn for an intimate chat with America’s most famous prisoner, Sam Bankman-Fried. During our 75-minute conversation, we discussed everything from Caroline Ellison and the travails of his new life, to his regrets about the demise of FTX and his forthcoming appeal.
I got the distinct impression that Sam still doesn’t believe he committed any crimes, only that he was the one responsible for putting FTX in a position where it was vulnerable to a bank run and the devious actions of its competitors

WILLIAM D. COHAN -- May 9, 2024
On Tuesday afternoon, I found myself in the most unusual circumstances—sitting on a small plastic chair at a cramped table in the Metropolitan Detention Center, the federal prison on 29th Street in Sunset Park, in Deep Brooklyn. Outside, it was a gorgeous day, the sort of picturesque and slightly humid one that inevitably reminds longtime New Yorkers of the weather on the morning of September 11th. Inside the prison’s visiting room, however, there was no natural light, no sunshine, only the Hitchcockian buzz of fluorescent bulbs and three vending machines standing in a corner. Posters on the wall attempted to compensate for the bleak atmosphere by buoyantly welcoming visiting families.
I first met Sam Bankman-Fried in December 2021, during the height of his power and influence, when he was the richest person in the world under 30. My friend Anthony Scaramucci, a.k.a. The Mooch, had connected us. On a cold winter night at the One Hotel, on Sixth Avenue, I interviewed him for a documentary I am part of making about Bitcoin and its developer, Satoshi Nakamato. Sam showed up an hour late, in a black t-shirt and cargo shorts, apparently having just flown in via private jet from the Bahamas. A month later, Sam’s cryptocurrency exchange, FTX, would raise its final $400 million round of financing from a group of highfalutin investors—led by Softbank, Temasek, and Paradigm—at a valuation of $32 billion, making the company one of the most valuable in the sector. At that moment, Sam was said to be worth $26 billion.
This week, we reconnected amid very different circumstances. Sam and I arranged for this visit through his Corrlinks email account, at the suggestion of his mother, Barbara Fried, and the family’s prison advisor. We met on Tuesday around 1 p.m. because that was the only day that visiting hours are permitted at MDC, a hangover from the Covid era. Prisoners can have visitors for one of two sessions, either starting at noon or at five in the afternoon.
We were meeting later than noon because of the staffing shortage at the facility. I was allowed to bring in $1 or $5 bills, up to a total of $30, in case I wanted to buy Sam some water, soda, or snacks from the humming vending machines. I was told to put my $20 bill as well as my wallet and iPhone into a locker. Sam was not permitted to buy anything himself.
Following about an hour of bureaucratic snafus (I went to the wrong building at first, and I wasn’t wearing dark pants—although an exception was made for me) and other forms of prison processing (shoes and belt off, metal detection, sticking my hand in a scanner) I was finally allowed inside the prison, without a phone, a watch, a recording device, or even a pad of paper and a pencil. (I knew this in advance, of course, and set about preserving my recollections of our conversation immediately after leaving the facility.)
After a few minutes of waiting, I looked up to see Sam Bankman-Fried, over in the corner, dressed head to toe in a chocolate-brown prison jumpsuit, along with the still-wild frizzy hair that has been his trademark. These days, Sam looks considerably thinner than the last time we met—it appeared he’d lost 25 pounds, at least. But he looked better and fitter than I thought he would, to be honest—less pudgy, less manic, less fidgety, no bags under his eyes.
He was sustaining himself on rice and beans, he said, because the prison food was unsurprisingly inedible, especially the vegan entrées he was served, which his fellow inmates thought literally smelled like shit. He wasn’t complaining, mind you; he noted that he was just trying to make the best of a bad situation. The rice he buys at the prison commissary has become one of the currencies of the realm inside MDC. We joked briefly about how the arbitrage opportunities in jail were better than anything he experienced trading crypto at Jane Street Capital or buying and selling assets at Alameda. He looked me in the eye pretty much the whole time, something he rarely did with people in the old days.
After we shook hands, he sat down in his own plastic chair as a camera watched us from the ceiling. We were surrounded by a couple of other inmates, dressed similarly, facing their visitors. Sam declined my initial offer to buy him some snacks but ultimately agreed to a $4 bottle of water and a small $2 package of Wheat Thins, which he eagerly consumed.
We talked for the next 75 minutes or so, the first in-person interview he has given to a journalist since he was locked up in the MDC last August and then subsequently convicted of two counts of wire fraud, conspiracy to commit wire fraud, securities fraud, commodities fraud, and money-laundering at his federal trial in November. In March, he was sentenced to 25 years in prison. Our chat, under these rather drastic circumstances, was a profoundly jarring and fascinating experience.

Prison Diaries

Sam began by answering my question about his life in prison. According to him, he lives in an area of the jail that was dedicated mostly to incarcerated women, save for the 35 men with whom he shares a dormitory-style existence in a big open room—bunk beds, no privacy, extreme boredom, and four television sets tuned to ESPN, Telemundo, BET, and a news channel. Sam said he could try to persuade his fellow inmates to change up the channel selection, but television bores him, so he has no interest in that challenge. He prefers watching a small selection of movies or playing some inferior video games on a tablet, without an internet connection, that the prison provides him and other inmates.
When I told him he seemed better than I had anticipated, he replied that he’d become good at faking it. So, yes, life inside the MDC is not the Bahamas. But, truly, I had expected to see him coping less well. At the MDC, Sam has mostly been permitted his prescription medications, and the cocktail he’s been allowed has him thinking clearly, he said, and energized for the legal battle he plans to wage soon against the verdict.
In the meantime, he told me, he doesn’t fear for his safety. He can use the bathroom and shower a couple of times a week in peace. He’s always been a light sleeper, and he’s still not sleeping soundly at the MDC, but mostly because people sometimes bug him during the night about those bags of rice, which they intend to use to barter. He has not been touched or abused, and he seemed notably thankful for that.
He acknowledged that he has a unique rap sheet at MDC, and his fellow prisoners indeed recognize him. He estimated that about half of the other 35 men in his unit were murderers who had been turned into cooperating witnesses for the prosecution in exchange for not serving a life sentence. In prison, many inmates consider cooperating witnesses the lowest form of vermin, lower even than child molesters. Sam also told me that some of the other prisoners tried to get close to him, thinking they would benefit financially from the proximity to a former billionaire. He doesn’t play along, he said.
We didn’t talk about his trial strategy or whether he intentionally siphoned off the $8 billion of FTX customer funds into Alameda. Both topics seemed moot at this point. We did discuss his onetime girlfriend, Caroline Ellison, whom he selected to run Alameda after lawyers kept hounding him about the inherent conflicts in him running both FTX and the hedge fund. (He chose to run FTX.) He acknowledged that he had asked a few other people if they would be interested in the role, but they turned him down. Ellison, he said, was a good manager of people and a good administrator but didn’t like making big investments and didn’t like taking risks. (Obviously, this seems like a bizarre aversion for a hedge fund manager, but I didn’t belabor the point.) In any event, Alameda ended up doing both.
He regretted that he had not tried harder to find another executive. He also said he should have ignored the lawyers and just kept running both FTX and Alameda, conflicts be damned, sort of like how Elon Musk oversees his various companies. Wishing he had ignored his lawyers’ advice emerged as a theme of Sam’s during our visit.

Legal Therapy

We did talk a fair amount about his appeal and about how he believed he was set up to be the fall guy—the victim of the old build-’em-up-only-to-tear-’em-down narrative arc. His theory of the case was that by the fall of 2022, it was every man for himself on a boat that looked to be sinking. By early November 2022, FTX was facing a liquidity crunch. Sam first sought a deal with Binance, which quickly fell apart or was never truly real, and was in the process of trying to raise billions in capital when his lawyers advised him to turn the keys of FTX over to John J. Ray III, which he did. Ray quickly filed FTX for bankruptcy and installed Sullivan & Cromwell, the company’s outside counsel, as counsel to the debtor.
Sam became the target of federal prosecutors, he told me, soon after FTX’s outside counsel at Sullivan & Cromwell made a presentation to them, on November 9, 2022, a day or so before the bankruptcy filing, about what they believed Sam may have engineered between FTX and Alameda, which has been described as the theft of $8 billion of customer money. In a sworn declaration about that meeting, S&C attorney Andrew Dietderich said he reported to the D.O.J. only what Ryne Miller, FTX’s U.S. general counsel, told him about a problem of “reconciling digital assets with entitlements” on FTX’s U.S. exchange, and nothing about Sam and his alleged transgressions.
Sam told me that had he not been persuaded by Sullivan & Cromwell and then by his personal attorneys to relinquish his job as C.E.O. to Ray, the company would not have filed for bankruptcy, and it would still be a thriving enterprise, worth $80 billion now. In this alternate reality, he would be worth $40 billion and he certainly wouldn’t be at the MDC. (S&C declined to comment on Sam’s theory of the case. It’s also fair to reiterate here that Sam was sentenced to 25 years in prison after a jury convicted him of the crimes described above.)
I got the distinct impression that Sam still doesn’t believe he committed any crimes, only that he was the one responsible for putting FTX in a position where it was vulnerable to a bank run and the devious actions of its competitors, not unlike how both Bear Stearns and Lehman Brothers failed in 2008. Why, Sam wondered, was he prosecuted when no one at either Bear or Lehman faced criminal prosecution? During our chat, Sam was contrite and certainly chastened, but not exactly apologetic: He was adamant about his innocence, aside from a few degrees of negligence—punishable, in his view, perhaps by civil consequences, not criminal penalties and a quarter-century sentence.
According to Sam’s theory, he isn’t in prison for commingling assets of FTX and Alameda. Instead, he’s an innocent guy who didn’t get a chance to negotiate a deal with the federal prosecutors, and wonders why he was even prosecuted at all for what he believes was a form of a bank run. Instead, they just presented him with his indictment and told him he could eat it— accept it and plead guilty and then get sentenced, or go to trial and try to fight it. Since there was no plea bargain on the table, he said, he fought the charges at trial, and lost. Unlike his fellow inmates, he told me, Sam speaks to his new attorney nearly every weekday for an hour or so, as the focus of his appeal comes into view. He expects to file it this fall. Yes, he will appeal, but most people think he faces long odds of success.
On the day of my visit, Sullivan & Cromwell, still counsel to the debtor-in-possession in FTX’s bankruptcy case, filed a first draft of a plan of reorganization that appears to give its customers and creditors all of their money back, plus a little more—a return of $15 billion on $12 billion of claims—in large part because of the investments Sam made through Alameda. The plan, which still has a long way to go before being confirmed, also gives Sullivan & Cromwell, along with other FTX advisors, “exculpation” from future lawsuits related to its conduct in the matter. This is not unusual in a plan of reorganization. But Sam has exhaustive thoughts on this subject, which I may explore with him in a follow-up conversation.

Go West, Young Man

I’m not sure how much longer Sam will be at the MDC, and neither is he. He has asked to remain in Brooklyn at least until the fall, when his appellate brief will be filed. But that’s not up to him, of course. If he gets moved, which could come at any moment without warning or explanation, I’m told, it would probably be to California, closer to Palo Alto, where he grew up, the son of two Stanford Law professors. At that point, the question will be whether he gets to spend his incarcerated years in a federal penitentiary, which are mostly nasty places filled with hardened criminals, or in more of a minimum security prison, as Mike Milken once did.
If he does get moved out of Brooklyn, his family and legal team worry, he could spend as long as four months on a bus, handcuffed to the seat, making his way, slowly, across the country. Such prison buses make frequent stops—picking up new prisoners, dropping off others—which explains why they take so long to reach their final destinations. There’s also a remote possibility that he could be placed on one of the many planes operated by the U.S. Marshals Service, a.k.a. “Con Air.” But he’s more likely to get the infamous “diesel therapy,” they fear. Either way, during this hypothetical cross-country journey, Sam would be completely incommunicado with both his family and his lawyers until he reaches his new home in California, deprived of the minimal access to the internet and email he now enjoys in Brooklyn.
Just as we were getting ready to discuss some knotty issues, such as his choices during his trial or the fact that many of the people who once worked for him had turned against him to save themselves, our visiting time was up. It was non-negotiable. We quickly shook hands again. Then Sam went back to his dormitory and I went back outside into a glorious spring afternoon.
Credits/Via: https://puck.news/exclusive-prison-chat-with-sam-bankman-fried/

NSFW Warning
I truly don't know what to do anymore, I'm completely lost.
I'm a 20 year old male with autism and possible OCD.
There are many things I want to talk about so this is going to be really long and unorganised.
From age 18 up until last year, I viewed and masturbated to CSAM, and the way I went about getting hold of it is equally bad, if not worse. I cannot express in words the shame and remorse I feel for this.
I know most of you hate me now and I don't blame you, and I guarantee you I hate myself more for it.
The most confusing part about it is I don't find children attractive, there's no groinal response, urges, desires, arousal, nothing. I don't even take a second glance or stare, the only thing I have is intrusive thoughts. Recently I was sat in the corner of a crowded bus, and since there was nowhere else to sit, three boys, none of which could have been older than 13 sat by me, one next to me, and the other two across from me, to which I felt nothing of that nature whatsoever.
My instincts when I've been around children in recent times is purely parental and protective.
I'd never hurt a child, especially in that way, I'd slit my wrists or set myself on fire before I did that, I might just slit my wrists anyway.
I'd run into a burning building, I'd run out onto a busy road, I'd give my life to save a child's life.
I don't go out of my way to be around children, I find them for the most part irritating, I don't hate them though. Throughout my entire life I preferred the company of adults. I even live across from a playground ffs.
I'm scarred for life by some of the things I saw in those images and videos, how the hell could someone do something like that?! I want to climb through the screen and protect those kids, give them a hug and let them know nothing can hurt them anymore.
I stumbled across an image hosting site when I was 16 whilst trying to find material involving my peers again, and the site hosted lots of cropped images of teens on webcams and older kids on webcams (it was obvious what they were doing), and on the page for the accounts, it usually displayed an email where stuff could be traded, but I didn't pursue that until 2 years later.
I went about acquiring it through sending old images and videos of myself, and in a lot worse way as well.
Starting from 14 up until last year, I very occasionally placed my phone in the bathroom and filmed my friends urinating, this happened definitely less than ten times, and most of them I deleted from everywhere, but I kept one and a screenshot of a few others, I started posting these images, as well as my own nudes, on an old reddit account which was deleted not long after, I made sure to hide their identities while doing this, I enjoyed the attention and compliments I would get, and I loved bigging up my friends and seeing them get compliments.
Then I used this content to acquire the bad stuff years later, including the stuff of me.
I had an Idea that this was considered wrong but I didn't understand how it could have been harmful.
This happened to less than 5 friends, all the content I had I have long since deleted and wiped any access to, and I have no intention to do this again, but the main issue is the fact that copies could have been made of it, and I accidentally sent the uncropped video once. There's the possibility none of this stuff is out there, but it's still vile and repulsive.
One of them was my closest friend, who I had known basically all my life, I broke down to him and told him what I had done and what I believe does me to this awful, reprehensible place, and you know what he did? He told me he forgave me and that some video possibly being out there doesn't phase him and his life isn't ruined at all and it will go on either way.
But he understandably said we can't see each other anymore, that he still loves me, believes I'm a good person and wants me to live a good life and make the world a better place, which was a dream of ours.
It's extra difficult because we were so close, we had experienced so much together, held all the same interests and beliefs, and I loved him only like family could, so the fact I committed this vile act of betrayal rids me with so much shame, and deservedly so. In a way I find it harder to get through because I didn't understand the true consequences of my actions and how this could have affected him and others, it would be less confusing and easier to accept I'm just the lowest form of humanity that way.
I displayed other problematic behaviours from a young age, all to do with boundary issues, I sometimes used to touch my friends when I was 12 but never their actual genitals, and I used to jokingly show my erection to people as well.
The only constant that I knew for certain is wrong is genuine rape and molestation, which is a line I know for certain I could never cross, and never will.
From a very young age (around 3 or 4) my mother would do very inappropriate party tricks around me with her friends late at night when they were drinking, her friends would call me sexy, and as I got older and hit puberty, she started making comments about my bulge and other things despite the fact I hated it and told her so.
When I was 7 I was groomed and molested by an 8 year old boy, I wanted him to help me pass a level on my DS game and he said he'll do it if I have sex with him, me being 7 I didn't understand what that was and with him being older I complied. We were naked during this, he fondled my genitals and got me to do the same to him, he inserted his fingers into my anus as well.
When I was 10, two of my close friends groomed me, they simulated blowjobs on each other and got me to do the same to them.
When I was 11, my 12 year old friend groomed and molested me despite me protesting, he got me to get in my bed with him and he rubbed up against me. Earlier that day he also got me to sit in his lap whilst cuddling me from behind, we were wearing underwear.
When I was 13, that same friend when he was nearly 14 and another friend who was already 14 groomed and molested me in my pool again, I had an erection in the pool and jokingly showed one of them it, and it escalated from there. They both got naked and got me to do so, I protested but eventually gave in to the pressure, they also showed each other their genitals and got me to do the same, later that boy got me to sit in his lap again whilst the older boy rubbed up against me.
There was also just the normal experimenting stuff, one of my friends used to show me his erections and I would do the same.
All of my friends were going through puberty and their bodies were changing and so was mine, which I found incredibly fascinating and arousing, and I had seen most of my friends genitals and some other students genitals throughout growing up, so me being young and autistic, I became very curious.
Kids before finishing Elementary/Primary School were swearing and talking about sex, then as I got older (11) kids were drinking, smoking, doing drugs, talking about masturbation habits and apparently having genuine sex. Then by the time I was 13, there was a lot of students taking nudes, nudes being spread around school and nudes being leaked (including mine, which distressed me for a few days, but only because people knew they were mine, if they were spread around but they didn't know it was me, I wouldn't have cared), kids with condoms and other stuff etc.
I started watching non-pornographic sexual content online (sex scenes from movies, TV shows, games etc) at age 9 which I would genuinely get an erection from watching.
At age 10 I hit puberty (testicles largened) and I started masturbating to non pornographic stuff. Including videos of animals mating. I also tried to find stuff involving my peers and found a fake video of stuff suggestive of that.
At 11 I started to grow pubic hair and had my first ejaculations, as well as discover porn, and I had my first crush which was on a 12 year old boy who was another friend, who I would masturbate to. This crush lasted a number of years, but he was straight so it couldn't go anywhere. This was also the age I started taking nudes and videos of me masturbating.
At 12 I started to grow underarm har and facial hair began to appear on my upper lip, I was watching porn very heavily at this point.
At 13 my voice had broken and I was nearly my full adult height, this was also the age I first masturbated to a non-sexual nude image of a child. As well as videos of stuff like naturism and videos of circumcision (I don't have a pain or gore fetish, I would just blank it out and focus on the genitals.)
By 14 I was my full adult height, I had adult sized ejacualtions and my penis had fully grown. And that is when I started posting my nudes online. To which I would have sexual conversations with adults, not knowing I was setting myself up to be groomed and have something normalised in my head which shouldn't be.
By 15 I was growing facial hair, as well as chest and abdominal hair. And I found a shotacon involving a boy my age having sex with an adult woman, and I would pretend to be him.
At 17, a 19 year old flirted with me and got me into sending nudes to him, and he did the same, which I didn't see as bad and despite it being technically illegal, I still don't.
I also did the same when I was 19 with a 17 year old stranger online, but they were very willing and I didn't pressure them, no personal info was shared between us.
I also messaged a 15 and 14 year old at some point but stopped myself from letting it go any further. And cut them off before anything could be shared.
And when I started watching the CSAM, it was mostly teens 9n webcams that I watched, I was lured into thinking that this content isn't kids being assaulted or anything (which it is) and due to my experiences twisting my view, I thought kids were enjoying it (which they weren't) since I would have had enjoyed it at that age (which I wouldn't have) it wasn't until I saw unmistakable suffering which is when I stopped and vowed to never go there again. It was mostly stuff involving boys, the stuff involving girls I just found too revolting. I wanted to relive those experiences, go back to a time I was happier. It felt safe and comforting.
All of these experiencs warped my views and understanding of things, desensitised me and made me believe things were ok that weren't and that kids aren't as innocent as they are seen to be (which they are). I have never commited rape or an act of molestation and never will, these are acts I've always seen as vile and disgusting.
I've suffered with mental health issues for a long time as well.
I've struggled with feelings of self-hatred and worthlessness since around 9 or 10.
I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety at 13, I've been self harming and suicidal since 15, I've also been attempting suicide since 15.
I've always felt like the odd one out, I always felt like I was the worst at everything, I was the one who was left out of games at school, the one who was always picked last in sports.
I was bullied a lot growing up, by students and occasionally teachers alike.
My mother is narcissistic and has been emotionally and occasionally physically abusive to me since I was 14 (telling me she hates me and that everyone else hates me, tells me how horrible I am, tells me that I should kill myself and do everyone a favour, threatened to stab me in my sleep, hit me on the occasion, bit me, threw things at me, including heavy things and glass, strangled me).
I truly don't know what to do anymore, I'm completely lost.
I'm a 20 year old male with autism and possible OCD.
There are many things I want to talk about so this is going to be really long and unorganised.
From age 18 up until last year, I viewed and masturbated to CSAM, and the way I went about getting hold of it is equally bad, if not worse. I cannot express in words the shame and remorse I feel for this.
I know most of you hate me now and I don't blame you, and I guarantee you I hate myself more for it.
The most confusing part about it is I don't find children attractive, there's no groinal response, urges, desires, arousal, nothing. I don't even take a second glance or stare, the only thing I have is intrusive thoughts. Recently I was sat in the corner of a crowded bus, and since there was nowhere else to sit, three boys, none of which could have been older than 13 sat by me, one next to me, and the other two across from me, to which I felt nothing of that nature whatsoever.
I'm sexually attracted to males 20 and over, and I'm romantically and sexually attracted to females 20 and over, I wouldn't even date an 18 or 19 year old.
My instincts when I've been around children in recent times is purely parental and protective.
I'd never hurt a child, especially in that way, I'd slit my wrists or set myself on fire before I did that, I might just slit my wrists anyway.
I'd run into a burning building, I'd run out onto a busy road, I'd give my life to save a child's life.
I don't go out of my way to be around children, I find them for the most part irritating, I don't hate them though. Throughout my entire life I preferred the company of adults. I even live across from a playground ffs.
I'm scarred for life by some of the things I saw in those images and videos, how the hell could someone do something like that?! I want to climb through the screen and protect those kids, give them a hug and let them know nothing can hurt them anymore.
I stumbled across an image hosting site when I was 16 whilst trying to find material involving my peers again, and the site hosted lots of cropped images of teens on webcams and older kids on webcams (it was obvious what they were doing), and on the page for the accounts, it usually displayed an email where stuff could be traded, but I didn't pursue that until 2 years later.
I went about acquiring it through sending old images and videos of myself, and in a lot worse way as well.
Starting from 14 up until last year, I very occasionally placed my phone in the bathroom and filmed my friends urinating, this happened definitely less than ten times, and most of them I deleted from everywhere, but I kept one and a screenshot of a few others, I started posting these images, as well as my own nudes, on an old reddit account which was deleted not long after, I made sure to hide their identities while doing this, I enjoyed the attention and compliments I would get, and I loved bigging up my friends and seeing them get compliments.
Then I used this content to acquire the bad stuff years later, including the stuff of me.
I had an Idea that this was considered wrong but I didn't understand how it could have been harmful.
This happened to less than 5 friends, all the content I had I have long since deleted and wiped any access to, and I have no intention to do this again, but the main issue is the fact that copies could have been made of it, and I accidentally sent the uncropped video once. There's the possibility none of this stuff is out there, but it's still vile and repulsive.
One of them was my closest friend, who I had known basically all my life, I broke down to him and told him what I had done and what I believe does me to this awful, reprehensible place, and you know what he did? He told me he forgave me and that some video possibly being out there doesn't phase him and his life isn't ruined at all and it will go on either way.
But he understandably said we can't see each other anymore, that he still loves me, believes I'm a good person and wants me to live a good life and make the world a better place, which was a dream of ours.
It's extra difficult because we were so close, we had experienced so much together, held all the same interests and beliefs, and I loved him only like family could, so the fact I committed this vile act of betrayal rids me with so much shame, and deservedly so. In a way I find it harder to get through because I didn't understand the true consequences of my actions and how this could have affected him and others, it would be less confusing and easier to accept I'm just the lowest form of humanity that way.
The other two friends I stopped communicating with, I wiped the account wiped the content from all areas they were stored on, deleted what they were stored, everything, and there is a possibility it's not out their at all.
I displayed other problematic behaviours from a young age, all to do with boundary issues, I sometimes used to touch my friends when I was 12 but never their actual genitals, and I used to jokingly show my erection to people as well.
The only constant that I knew for certain is wrong is genuine rape and molestation, which is a line I know for certain I could never cross, and never will.
From a very young age (around 3 or 4) my mother would do very inappropriate party tricks around me with her friends late at night when they were drinking, her friends would call me sexy, and as I got older and hit puberty, she started making comments about my bulge and other things despite the fact I hated it and told her so.
When I was 7 I was groomed and molested by an 8 year old boy, I wanted him to help me pass a level on my DS game and he said he'll do it if I have sex with him, me being 7 I didn't understand what that was and with him being older I complied. We were naked during this, he fondled my genitals and got me to do the same to him, he inserted his fingers into my anus as well.
When I was 10, two of my close friends groomed me, they simulated blowjobs on each other and got me to do the same to them.
When I was 11, my 12 year old friend groomed and molested me despite me protesting, he got me to get in my bed with him and he rubbed up against me. Earlier that day he also got me to sit in his lap whilst cuddling me from behind, we were wearing underwear.
When I was 13, that same friend when he was nearly 14 and another friend who was already 14 groomed and molested me in my pool again, I had an erection in the pool and jokingly showed one of them it, and it escalated from there. They both got naked and got me to do so, I protested but eventually gave in to the pressure, they also showed each other their genitals and got me to do the same, later that boy got me to sit in his lap again whilst the older boy rubbed up against me.
There was also just the normal experimenting stuff, one of my friends used to show me his erections and I would do the same.
All of my friends were going through puberty and their bodies were changing and so was mine, which I found incredibly fascinating and arousing, and I had seen most of my friends genitals and some other students genitals throughout growing up, so me being young and autistic, I became very curious.
Kids before finishing Elementary/Primary School were swearing and talking about sex, then as I got older (11) kids were drinking, smoking, doing drugs, talking about masturbation habits and apparently having genuine sex. Then by the time I was 13, there was a lot of students taking nudes, nudes being spread around school and nudes being leaked (including mine, which distressed me for a few days, but only because people knew they were mine, if they were spread around but they didn't know it was me, I wouldn't have cared), kids with condoms and other stuff etc.
I started watching non-pornographic sexual content online (sex scenes from movies, TV shows, games etc) at age 9 which I would genuinely get an erection from watching.
At age 10 I hit puberty (testicles largened) and I started masturbating to non pornographic stuff. Including videos of animals mating. I also tried to find stuff involving my peers and found a fake video of stuff suggestive of that.
At 11 I started to grow pubic hair and had my first ejaculations, as well as discover porn, there was also an image I masturbated to which depicted a boy of my age giving oral to a man, and I had my first crush which was on a 12 year old boy who was another friend, who I would masturbate to. This crush lasted a number of years, but he was straight so it couldn't go anywhere. This was also the age I started taking nudes and videos of me masturbating.
At 12 I started to grow underarm har and facial hair began to appear on my upper lip, I was watching porn very heavily at this point.
At 13 my voice had broken and I was nearly my full adult height, this was also the age I first masturbated to a non-sexual nude image of a child. As well as videos of stuff like naturism and videos of circumcision (I don't have a pain or gore fetish, I would just blank it out and focus on the genitals.)
By 14 I was my full adult height, I had adult sized ejacualtions and my penis had fully grown. And that is when I started posting my nudes online. To which I would have sexual conversations with adults, not knowing I was setting myself up to be groomed and have something normalised in my head which shouldn't be.
By 15 I was growing facial hair, as well as chest and abdominal hair. And I found a shotacon involving a boy my age having sex with an adult woman, and I would pretend to be him.
At 17, a 19 year old flirted with me and got me into sending nudes to him, and he did the same, which I didn't see as bad and despite it being technically illegal, I still don't.
I also did the same when I was 19 with a 17 year old stranger online, but they were very willing and I didn't pressure them, no personal info was shared between us.
I also messaged a 15 and 14 year old at some point but stopped myself from letting it go any further. And cut them off before anything could be shared, or any messages could be exchanged for that matter.
And when I started watching the CSAM, it was mostly teens 9n webcams that I watched, I was lured into thinking that this content isn't kids being assaulted or anything (which it is) and due to my experiences twisting my view, I thought kids were enjoying it (which they weren't) since I would have had enjoyed it at that age (which I wouldn't have), it wasn't until I saw unmistakable suffering which is when I stopped and vowed to never go there again. It was mostly stuff involving boys, the stuff involving girls I just found too revolting. I wanted to relive those experiences, go back to a time I was happier. It felt safe and comforting. It was relatable.
All of these experiencs warped my views and understanding of things, desensitised me and made me believe things were ok that weren't and that kids aren't as innocent as they are seen to be (which they are). I have never commited rape or an act of molestation and never will, these are acts I've always seen as vile and disgusting.
I've suffered with mental health issues for a long time as well.
I've struggled with feelings of self-hatred and worthlessness since around 9 or 10.
I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety at 13, I've been self harming and suicidal since 15, I've also been attempting suicide since 15.
I've always felt like the odd one out, I always felt like I was the worst at everything, I was the one who was left out of games at school, the one who was always picked last in sports.
I was bullied a lot growing up, by students and occasionally teachers alike, and even my boss at my first job.
My mother is a heavy drinker, narcissistic and has been emotionally and occasionally physically abusive to me since I was 14 (telling me she hates me and that everyone else hates me, tells me how horrible I am, tells me that I should kill myself and do everyone a favour, threatened to stab me in my sleep, hit me on the occasion, bit me, threw things at me, including heavy things and glass, strangled me). There was also manipulation tactics like gaslighting, she alienated me from others by telling her friends and family how awful I was. Pushed me into meltdowns and got me to lash out, to which she called the police and got me arrested and made me look like the bad one on multiple occasions.
My father was a drug addict who died when I was 14, I saw him less than ten times my whole life, he grew drugs in my room when I was an infant, my most distinct memory is him coming to my house very late one night when I was around 9 or 10 talking about demons and bad spirits.
Addiction runs in my family (my father's father is an equally heavy drinker, his mother is a drug addict who ran a brothel), so the addictive tendencies have been past down to me.
I probably was addicted to porn by 13, and had been feeding it for years without knowing it.
My adopted grandfather died when I was 4, and my adopted grandmother (which I lived with from birth) who was my guiding light, died less than a week before my dad did.
The only father figure I really had (who was an alcoholic but otherwise very good with me) was my mother's partner who she met when I was 6, and he died when I was 8.
I was also very close to my mother's best friend, who had been more of a mother to me than my actual one had been some time died when I was 17.
My mother had an abusive ex who stalked her and threatened to set fire to the house, who also left ranting letters and stood in the back garden at night, so we lived in fear of stuff like that for over a year from when I was 12 through 13.
She also had an abusive lodger who was an even heavier drinker than she is, so from when I was 14 through 16 I witnessed them physically fight, both get arrested and on a few occasions I had to defend her from him.
Many of my friends have betrayed me over the years (I know I'm one to talk) but when this started to happen I would have never dreamed of betraying anyone, personal stuff was shared about me which I trusted them with, there was a lot of bad talking about me without me knowing. My toe closest friend turned on me at age 12 and isolated me from my other friends, I blamed myself at the time which I why I moved schools at 13 since I thought I was just making everyone miserable.
I didn't get diagnosed with autism until I was q9 despite trying to get it since I was 12, it hurt knowing I had been paying my whole life for being different, feeling ashamed of who I am (and rightly so now really), wondering why what I said was offensive, why I didn't understandfulky why this was wrong, why I was so sensitive to jokes, why I took e everyhing literally, why I made impulsive and reckless decisions without understanding the consequences of them.
I was never considered attractive and was ridiculed for it (girls used to jokingly flirt with me to torment me at school). I'm 5'6, always have struggled with weight, hairline started receding at 16, eczema so my skin is always red, dry and flaky, really bad diastema and acid reflux which means it's really hard to make my breath smell nice and my teeth are very worn because of it. I have had sex with someone who was older than me and we were both consenting adults, and we were both very respectful of boundaries.
I was also desensitised to other things slide gore and violence, I played a lot of violent video games when I was a kid, my mother is really into controversial shock movies (she got me to watch Cannibal Holocaust with her when I was 11).
The worst part about all of this is the fact all my friends who I love would hate me if they knew about what I've done so, none of them would trust me anymore or respect me, which is what friendships are all about right? So in a way they feel strange, they feel fake.
I could never find a relationship or true love because nobody wants to date a serial sex offender.
I hate knowing the fact I'm a sex offender, it's eating me alive.
I'm not registered and there is no real proof of what I did, so I can't turn myself in or anything.
I want to do good in the world, I have so much love to give, but it feels wrong me helping people because it feels like there is a sinister undertone to everything I do.
I've always enjoyed being charitable, I love giving money to the homeless or putting change in a donations box.
I feel guilty whenever I feel hapoy since I don't deserve to be, the only things that I enjoy now are food and playing video games, it's the only job I get out of day to day life.
The only fate I deserve is being stabbed to death in prison or something.
All I want is to be loved and accepted despite my flaws and mistakes, but I never could be.
The only other person I've told is my mother, who has been supportive.
I've been on antidepressants since 18 and I'm trying to get therapy, but I'm not hoping or expecting anything good will happen from this. I've been in and out of therapy since I was 11.
I had dreams, I had aspirations, I wanted to change the world for the better, I wanted to have a son, not to hurt him, but so he doesn't end up like me, but I reliase that is not possible. I don't deserve to be around children.
I hate keeping secrets, but I have no choice but to keep this one.
I want to identify with good people, but I can't.
Every good thing I do is invalidated now.
I forgive everyone who has wronged me in anyway, since I'm worse than them.
I just pray I can go out doing good, doing the right thing.
I am no better than Jimmy Saville, Ian Watkins or any of them types of people.
If you want to motivate me to end it all, feel free.
If you have read through all of this, thank you.

Chapter one
How do memories look for you? Like flashes? Clear as day? Can you remember?
I can. I can see things so clearly. I can hear things so clearly. I can remember. But only as flashes.
I’m listening to Cathy O’Briens book and she says write. Do not speak.
Even now I don’t think it’s the same as typing.
I plan to get a notebook specifically for my memory. It’s strange. Like vomit. All mingled and mixed. And out of order. And “this memory” makes me think of “this memory.” And “this happened” but then before “this happened”. And I wish I could talk to someone but then also I’m glad I’m not. Cause what if they lead me astray. What if they make me believe it never happened.
This piece will be out of order. And for that forgive me. I want so badly to be cohesive and coherent but I’m afraid everything is jingled together.
Even now I have so much to say. The parkway. The basement at the elementary. The send off. The moving. The sexuality. They darkness. The depression. The dancing. The curiosity. The principal. Hiding under the desk. The gifted program. The dancing. The willingness. The ducks. The parties. The men. The lamp. Sergio. The face touch. The blood. The penthouse. The club. The drinks. The promises. The moments. The warnings. The desires. The memories. The tattoo. The dildos. The performance. The chat rooms. The meet ups. The hospital visits. The blood stains. The positions. The rooms. The timing. The willingness. The stretching. The exam. The scared nights. The scary movies. The drunken adults. The lumber jacks. The cia. Rox. The satanic worship. The rape of him. The unknown history of my family. The wealthy in Georgetown. The dress up. The music. The handball. The four square. The singing. The dancing. The sodomites. The teachers. The screams. The need for me. The desire for me. The bartenders. The p’mers. The stomach aches. The separation. The piss. The dark. The bath. The blue outfit. The men. The bus ride. The taxi ride. The train. The massage parlor. The neighbor. The chat rooms. The men. The parkway. The basement. The hallway. The grandparents. The crib. The dreams. The screams. The fear. The bus. The bubbles. The drinks. The cops. The piercings. The drives.
Nothing happened to me ever. I was never molested. I was never raped. I was never taken advantage of. I was protected from everything and anything.
However, by the time I was 16, I was heavily and deeply knowledgeable and accustomed to just about any and everything sexually in any and all parts of my body and also more than willing.
And I had tried committing suicide 3 times and lived with chronic stomach issues for the majority of my child hood.
For what reason I have no memory.
Cathy says to write. Write and your brain will think logically. And you will remember.
There’s so much, I don’t know where to start or what to write about. It’s different on a phone cause I can go back and add or re word and re order. I’m doing this tonight cause I don’t have a notepad. But it’s all out of order on paper and in my head. But if I write, even if out of order, maybe I’ll remember. I don’t even know why I’m posting.
But I have to unravel it. Beginning to end or not in order. There’s a lot of clarity but not a lot of memory.
And how and why does that make sense? It doesn’t.
So forgive me for this blog, for it will more than likely weave a tale that doesn’t make sense and is probably not true.
Or is that my alter telling me I will never remember. Cathy O’Brien says write. And I will.
Was I an mkultra/ human trafficking subject in the 90s and 2000s?
I hope to find an answer.

Got triggered and realized how stupid I was to welcome these people - my narcissistic mother for that matter - back into my life.
Had to welcome her back again if I want to stay in touch with everyone else because since I was gone, she went around bothering everyone to the point they couldn't live in peace. At first they didn't understand why I did what I did but eventually they do understand and greatly sympathize with me.
Her? Had no issue went around talking shit about me, throwing me under the bus and all, but also no issue in trying to friend friend me and acting like the typical loving mum. Nothing has changed. She's still the same crazy woman, or worse; because she's retired now so she's sitting on her phone 24/7 hoping she could control me.
Mind you, nothing has changed with her and its been 9 years or so since I last contacted her. But due a close family member of mine died; I just had to reconnect with everyone else and they all are having a tough time.
Anyway, I decided since I would have to welcome her back too; I've been grey rocking all the information regarding my family. Why? This woman wanted me to extort my partner's family for money and give it to her so that she could live comfortably. She had and still has no regards for my kids' privacy so fuck that idea about me sending her any photo updates. This woman went around behind my back telling my partner I was a psychopath to him and his mum while I was heavily pregnant. Lastly, the super last straw for me: her asking for intimate photos of my kids and I stood my ground refusing her any of that. She threw a tantrum about being the grandma and would not risk the kids' privacy.
This is the same woman who allowed her husband to molest me because he was giving her money so that she could afford all the good things in life that she never had. She lied about the rest of the family being dead. She lied about how others wanted her house. She lied about so many things and still continue to do it.
So, yeah. She can fucking forget about any updates from me on my kids. Also, her not letting go the idea of psoriasis being incurable is beyond me. I told her time and time again that it is something that doesn't go away. She insists on buying me cream, these ancient medicines leaves, etc. idiotic.
Sorry, had to vent. Gotten sick of it and more than ready to block her ass again just to save some peace in my life. I cannot go around being angry at her around my own family. Stupid!

https://www.eastidahonews.com/2024/05/american-falls-man-charged-after-allegedly-impregnating-a-14-year-old-girl/
https://www.eastidahonews.com/2024/05/former-school-bus-assistant-charged-with-lewd-conduct-for-alleged-sexual-contact-with-8-year-old-girl/
For the past several weeks I have been routinely posting about the high levels of child molesting/pornography in SE Idaho. I have gotten some push back from people saying it isn't any h higher then anywhere else. I truly ask you to rethink your position.
Until the general population of this state force the powers that be to do something, this will continue. By not doing anything, you are tacitly approving and encouraging this type of behavior. I have written, called, and emailed the governor on down with the information. I suggest everyone else does too.

I'm living a completely wrong, shitty life since last 15years. I'm studios, did well in education and career but deep down I know my life's fucked up and gross. I feel so wrong and depressed about everything I've and pulled my progressive graph of life so down. Here're my confessions:
Age 13 - Used public bus to travel school. molested 100+ girls of any age taking advantage of rush in bus.
Age 18 - Started masturbating & watching porn... watched porn daily and masturbated thinking about every girl in university, neighbours, high school, close female friends, any random girl. Due to this, I always struggled to have a close friendship with opposite genders I had so many chances.
Age 23 - Developed fetishes and jerked off to aunts undies, bras... etc girl in PGs, etc
Age 24 - Flashed random girls in public and woman while driving to any place if got a chance to do it. feeling so gross while even thinking about this situation now. Even jerked off thinking about my sisters, aunties, girls in the family, etc.. unable to control my thoughts.
Age 25 - Started using Omegle - jerked off with random girls almost every night, watched Omegle porn and jerked off.
Age 27 - Intentionally recorded my aunt changing her cloths after bathing... saw her full nude. jerked off multiple times watching her video & deleted it after I regretted doing it. She really trust me a lot. I will regret doing it my entire life.
I lost a chance of having a beautiful girl in my life if I had kept away from above shit and had a perfect successful, content full, amazing life. I'm living with this regret now. Only if I had met her once in the right time and imagined my life with her, I'd have did everything to get her.... but I fucked up this possibility due to above issues.
Now I'm suffering from PIED, erection issues, focus issues, anxiety, mild-depression. hair issues, skin issues, belly fat, less energy, less confidence, low Testosterone. mood swings, etc.
And I'm fucking done. I want to get out of this shit. I want to fix my life. I want to overcome this shitty gross life situation and become a man I dream of becoming now. I want to build up my character. I cannot confess this to anyone. but saw the people posting their stories and thought of seeking help in this community and let universe know that this is what I want now.
Need your support and I'll do everything I can to fix my life from now.
NoFap DAY 2 - Hard more is on. struggling to stay focused, having back flashes of memories & regrets.. but I'm not going to give up this time. staying strong.

I know it is in my neurotic nature to view things a little negatively, & I try to not let thoughts like these win.
I am 21 years old and I have gone through more trauma than most, not all, but most of anybody that I know.
I was molested as a child for five years by a trusted family member who was related to my childhood best friend. I was also molested by said childhood best friend.
I had seen somebody very important to me shoot themselves in the face, and had to force myself to be resilient enough to process that as a young girl still in middle school.
I had to lie to CPS at 15 out of fear of being separated from my little sister. I have three siblings in total, but we do not speak: None of them are borderlines. Just me. I am the black sheep.
My father was a dead beat, who I had only met a handful of times. My step father wasn’t any better - a violent man who my mother only married and obeyed for her own security.
My mother was a diagnosed narcissist. A strict & controlling Jehovah’s Witness. I can’t remember the last time my mother hugged or complimented me. She usually expressed her “love” towards me with materialistic items such as steak dinners or cruises.
That sounds nice, right? Sure.
But she was an alcoholic, too. She’s choked me against the wall by her arm and told me she’s wished I was dead. She was so controlling when I was a child - I didn’t have a touch phone until I graduated high school. Wasn’t allowed to drive, wasn’t allowed to close my bedroom or bathroom door, wasn’t allowed to have social media. I only had a flip phone that my mother controlled VIA her Verizon account which would flag her if I ever tried to text a phone number that wasn’t hers. She would email my teachers and ask them who I sat next to in class, who I walked with, and then eventually she applied to work at my school herself.
I wasn’t allowed to date, have friends, go to the mall, go to the movies, go to football games or school dances.
She isolated me and constantly told me I had to represent her. Perfect, blonde, ladylike, and a daughter of God.
She would destroy my bedroom and take my little sister out for breakfast while I cleaned her mess up as punishments. She’d rip up homework assignments if I used her printer without permission and she’d take away my right to wearing winter coats at the bus stop.
She’d make me late for school to hover behind me as I covered bruises and cuts with makeup. Black eyes, busted open lips, bruised ribs and bruised legs. Her fingerprints bruised into my arms.
She’d tell me nobody would ever marry me and I would look ugly in a wedding dress. My parents have told me their love for me is conditional and my mother stole the first car I bought myself as a teenager to sell to my older sister.
She even destroyed a piggy bank my great grandmother painted for me and in doing so said “she never loved you anyways.”
I was just 14.
I also remember her sitting on my head with her hands and knees, pushing all of her weight into my skull. I was also 14. I remember laying on the bathroom floor just waiting for her to crush my head and kill me.
I remember all the nights my mom never came to pick me up from work as a teenager, and I remember us fist fighting until my hands were covered in blood. I remember the boiling rage I felt when she’d pull me into a hug a few moments after, saying to me “You know nobody loves you more than I do.”
She’d force me to sleep with her sometimes, too. Not sexually. More like she would be drunk and would beg me to soothe her through the night. I fucking hated doing it, I didn’t want to soothe this fucking monster. This rotten woman…
But I did it anyways. Because she was my mommy, & I loved her.
I did EVERYTHING for her. I existed for her.
I left home the day I turned 18 & fell into the hands of a lot of people who targeted girls like me. But I didn’t know this at the time - I idolized people and believed they could commit no evil.
Moved in with a boyfriend when I had no car, no job, no phone. He stabbed me in my arm with a knife once, water boarded me, raped me OVER and OVER and OVER. Eventually left me homeless.
The boyfriend before him cheated on me and ended up marrying the girl. He was my first Favorite Person & also a diagnosed sociopath. He told me he never wanted a family but had a baby with her so quickly..
I have a lot of issues from all of this, clearly.
I developed severe OCD, eating disorders, PTSD, major depressive disorder, but the most difficult is BPD.
I remember when I was a little girl I would cry at my window for Peter Pan to save me. All that I wanted was to be a wife and a mother, I told myself that if I didn’t kill my self and just kept holding on, I’d be safe and protected by somebody who loves me. I’ll never be hit or punched or scratched or screamed at or gaslit or manipulated or brainwashed ever again. I held on tightly to that hope as I left home and ran straight to the nearest man that LOVED how fucked up I was. Naive and young and completely alone.
Did you spend your 18th hanging out with friends? I spent mine sobbing on my boyfriend’s doorsteps as I tried to quickly come up with a way to survive. I remember walking to work until my heels bled, I remember teaching my own self how to pump gas or write a check, I remember having ABSOLUTELY NOOOOOOBOOOOOOOOODY except for me.
I’ve realized now I probably am never going to get that happy family picture I always dreamed of. My life is way too complicated for the average person to comprehend and handle. I think I have been a fool for thinking my past traumas did not matter and that I could live my life unscathed.
People love me at first - they become obsessed over me. I’m the “different” girl, the “mysterious” girl. I’m a character to them but to me this is MY real life. Once they realize that my dark runs just as deep as my light, it’s over. I think people find me alluring because I am attractive and I am socially intelligent enough to morph myself into a reflection of your own interests.
But once I let someone in, they feel blind sided. They can’t grasp how so much depth exists within one person. They do not understand how trauma forever changes brain chemistry during key developmental stages. They do not understand how hard I TRY.
I’ve tried so many different angles. But none of them work.
I think I am meant for a life of solitude. I used to think maybe I could only date another borderline, or a therapist. Someone who really really understood.
I don’t want to be a statistic. A lot of people are usually surprised to learn I have a cluster B personality type because I am just so good at playing the social games everyone is so easy to understand, so easy to see, and so easy for me to predict.
I have a hard time meeting others who are the same as I am. Sometimes I even wish I was with a narcissist again.
I don’t know. I just think, with assisted dying being an option for those with BPD & all, I just think we should not even fucking be here. Even the professionals know that. Clearly.
Nobody is ever as emotionally intelligent as I am, and no it isn’t the grandiosity speaking. But I feel like if I have spent the time to learn about myself and my triggers and my emotions, why can’t others do the same to themselves and also to me? I thought that is how it worked?
It is because they LOVE me. But they don’t love ME.
Worst comes to worst if I am not married by 40 I will just adopt. Perhaps I was meant to be a therapist… & only that. I wanted to be a licensed clinical social worker, I wanted to write books about the brain, I wanted to conduct my own research on psychology.
I wanted to do this alongside someone, as their wife and their child’s mother.
I’ve never cheated before. I’ve never hit someone I was with. I’ve never called a partner a bad name, I’ve never left them to cry alone.
I loved people until I got to the point to where I have realized I am simply, plainly, unlovable.
I have a good brain that could be put to work, so I suppose I should stop trying to love people so much and just focus on what I know I can excel at instead. Just bluntly accept the fact that I am indeed wired wayyy differently than the rest of these people, and begin to live accordingly.
I do not think I was meant to be loved. My chances at that were destroyed as soon as I was born. Before that, even, stress in the womb from my father knocking her up and then running away.
All I want is love.
I suppose a career and a cat is second best.

Let me vent, I have no rap friends in the city I'm in now and I'm seething.
I was a day one Kendrick fan, since I heard ignorance is bliss back in 2010 and been a fan of Drake since NWTS. I had K Dot as number 1 until maybe a year ago. DAMN was my favourite album of this era. But Cole just keeps getting better and a lot of older songs have a timeless feel to them. Songs like 3 wishes don't age. Also loved that Drake gave us bangers every year for like a decade straight.
Since the beef escalated I have lost all respect for both of them. Id go as far to say I HATE Kendrick Lamar, I hate Drake too but I also pitty him.
They both weaponised child abuse to win their petty little rap beef, it's pathetic. Since we don't have receipts I'm going to operate under the assumption that all the allegations are BS and they turned this rap battle into a fake news competition. (Will say Kendrick hitting Witney is the only thing that doesn't seem far fetch, I mean did you see the album cover of MMATBS? And whole sounds like he's trying to repent but that being said Drake did have every reason to lie)
The way I see it Dot started this beef over pure competitive spite. Drake asking for the FFS feature was an olive branch but Dot is hater so he does 'Like That' instead. Fair game I guess, rap is competitive. In push up's Drake mentions Whitney's name but nothing about her and ends the song saying "I was trying to keep it pg". Drake was trying to say becareful or I'll take it there.
Kendrick drops Euphoria warning don't talk about my family or it's going bad BUT then proceeds to talk about Drake's kid... Dot had to know how Drake would react to this. After the Pusha beef Drake said "you know there's rules to this" and the WHOLE WORLD said no there's not, gave him an L and called him a pussy for like 5 years. Of course Drake isn't going to hold back this this time.
The way I see it destroying Drake was more important to Kendrick than keeping his family out of limelight. If Dot wanted to keep this about bars he could have.
Drake's drops, goes bad. He definitely capping about Dave free, why would Kendrick partner with the guy that cucked him? but whatever.
Dot knew Drake was going to call him a woman a abuser so he called him the only thing thats worse, a child abuser... How else was he going to win?
Apparently it's not about bars any more it's about dirt. But I'm not believing that shit just because the guy who hated him and had the most to gain from it said so. Especially since he said Drake had another secret child and we know that's not ture. Plus the whole time Kendrick is acting like slayer of predators, protector of women. Where was this energy when Kodak Black (a convicted rapist) was on his last album? And isn't getting into this beef in the first place when you know Drake is going to talk about your girl kind of throwing Witney under the bus?
So K.Dot drops 'Not Like Us', which is so cringe and distasteful. Like either these pedo allegations are Ligit in which case don't put them on a fucking DJ mustard beat or they're lies which is super disrespectful to actual victims of abuse.
Then Drake had the oppunity to take the moral high ground but he chose to mock Dot for getting molested (even tho he wasn't), like WTF is wrong with him? And people call this the greatest rap beef ever, I'm disgusted. Both of these guys are going out sad.
I know victims of abuse and seen how tragically it effected them. Seeing these two weridos make lite of it to get brownie points has made sick to my stomach.
Fuck it Coles the goat now.

This is part 2 of my list for Virginia's post Furman execution roster. As mentioned in part 1's opening paragraph, character count limitations forced me into splitting my Virginia's execution roster into two separate posts. For the link to part 1, please click here.
59. Kevin Cardwell (1991-1998, lethal injection): Cardwell intercepted Anthony Brown, a 15 year old drug carrier, while he was at a bus stop. He lured Brown into his apartment and searched his belongings for any drugs. Brown was then dragged into the woods, shot to death, and stripped of the cocaine strapped to his legs.
60. Mark Sheppard (~1980s-1999, lethal injection): Sheppard and his accomplice Andre Graham were invited by their dealers, 40 year old Richard and 35 year old Rebecca Rosenbluth, over to their home to buy cocaine. However, an argument broke out during the transaction, and Sheppard shot the couple to death. The pair then drove away from the scene with the couple's car and a few undisclosed stolen items. Sheppard had a long history of violence that dated back to when he was 9 years old.
61. Tony Fry (1994-1999, lethal injection): Fry and his partner shot Leeland Jacobs, a 42 year old car salesman, while robbing his Ford Dealership. The pair tied Jacobs to a car they stole while he was still alive, and dragged him to death.
62. George Quesinberry Jr. (1989-1999, lethal injection): Quesinberry shot 63 year old Thomas Haynes while breaking into his office with an accomplice. When Haynes survived the initial shooting, Quesinberry hit him in the head with the gun and fractured his skull. The pair stole a total of $200 in the robbery.
63. David Fisher (~1970s(?)-1999, lethal injection): Fisher was paid $7,000 by an associate to kill 18 year old David Wilkey in retaliation for abandoning a murder scheme. Originally, Wilkey was part of a conspiracy to seduce and marry a young woman in order to kill her for an insurance policy, but backed out when he genuinely fell in love with the would be victim. He was tricked into going on a hunting trip with Fisher and shot to death by him. Fisher had 25 previous criminal convictions and was involved with organized crime. He was in the witness protection program at the time of Wilkey’s murder.
64. Carl Chichester (1991-1999, lethal injection): During a holdup of a Little Caesars, Chichester shot and killed the manager, 30 year old Timothy Rigney, for refusing to open the cash register. He and his two accomplices ran off with a total of $110.
65. Arthur Jenkins III (1991-1999, lethal injection): Jenkins and his teenage brother shot and killed their uncle, 72 year old Floyd, and their uncle's friend, 69 year old Lee Brinklow. They then stole their wallets and sacked Floyd's home for any money and valuables.
66. Eric Payne (~1980s-1999, lethal injection): Payne broke into the residences of two women, 61 year old Ruth Parham and 57 year old Sally Fazio, and raped them. Both women were beaten to death with a hammer, and he took money from their drawers and pocket books. He had a history of drug possessions and exposing himself to women.
67. Ronald Yeatts (1989-1999, lethal injection): Yeatts and an accomplice invaded 70 year old Ruby Dodson's home and stabbed her to death. The pair grabbed her purse during the burglary and divided up the money they found in it.
68. Tommy Strickler (1989-1999, lethal injection): Strickler and his partner kidnapped 19 year old Leann Whitlock from a mall and crushed her head with a 70 pound boulder. Whitlock's car and credit cards were stolen during the attack.
69. Marlon Williams (~1980s(?)-1999, lethal injection): Williams was paid $4,000 to murder 44 year old Helen Bedsole by his dealer, who was also her estranged husband. The couple were in the midst of a bitter divorce at the time, and the dealer wanted to both collect a life insurance policy and prevent Helen from dividing up their assets. He suck into the couple’s home, and shot and killed Helen in the kitchen. Williams had an extensive criminal history, which included cutting the throat of his ex girlfriend’s grandmother, 71 year old Virgina Parker, during a bungled attempt on her life.
70. Everett Mueller (1990-1999, lethal injection): 10 year old Charity Powers was dropped off at a skating ring by her mother. She was supposed to be picked up by her mother's friend, but they didn't show up due to failing asleep in their home. While Powers was waiting outside the ring in vain for her ride, she was abducted by Mueller. He raped the girl, slashed her throat, and dumped the body in a nearby forest.
71. Jason Joseph (1992-1999, lethal injection): While robbing a Subway with an accomplice, Joseph shot and killed one of the clerks, 22 year old Jeffrey Anderson.
72. Thomas Royal Jr. (~1991-1999, lethal injection): Royal and 3 other gang members fatally shot a police officer, 29 year old Kenneth Wallace, while he was sitting in his patrol car. Wallace was killed as part of the gang's campaign to target law enforcement agents. Royal and his fellow gang members were also suspected in the shooting of James Smith Jr. (age unknown), a Vietnam veteran, outside his trailer, but the charges were dropped from the lack of sufficient evidence.
73. Andre Graham (~1993-1999, lethal injection): Graham assisted the above mentioned Mark Sheppard in the Rosenbluth murders. He also shot and killed a waitress, 20 year old Sheryl Stack, and injured a 23 year old man while robbing a restaurant on his own, and is suspected in a total of 10 murders.
74. Douglas Thomas (1990-2000, lethal injection): The parents of Thomas' 14 year old girlfriend, 33 year old James and 33 year Kathy Wiseman, barred her from seeing him. In a bid to continue their relationship, Thomas and his girlfriend shot them to death in their home.
75. Steve Roach (1993-2000, lethal injection): Roach shot and killed 70 year old Mary Hughes on her doorstep and stole her credit card. He was caught on tape trying to use Hughes' stolen cards to pull money out of an ATM machine in North Carolina.
76. Lonnie Weeks Jr. (1993-2000, lethal injection): Weeks was pulled over by a state trooper, 50 year old Jose Cavazos, for speeding while driving a stolen car. In the confrontation that followed, he shot Cavazos dead after climbing out of the car, and fled the scene. He was captured hiding in a nearby motel after an hour long manhunt.
77. Michael Clagett (1994-2000, electric chair): Clagett's girlfriend was fired from her job as a hotel waitress by the management, and the couple decided to retaliate by robing the establishment. They shot and killed the owner Lam Van Son, a 41 year old Vietnamese refugee, a waitress, 31 year old Karen Rounds, two other employees, 31 year old Karen Rounds and 32 year old Wendell Parish Jr., and a customer Abdelaziz Gren, a 34 year old Moroccan immigrant, and took $400 in cash from the register. Van Son’s 3 year old son was sleeping in the backroom during the attack, but the couple left him unharmed.
78. Russel Burket (1993-2000, lethal injection): Burket snuck into the home of 30 year old Katherine Tafelski while her Navy SEALs husband was deployed overseas, and sexually assaulted her. Katherine and her 5 year old daughter Ashley were both beaten to death with a "rusty" crowbar.
79. Derek Barnabei (1993-2000, lethal injection): Barnabei seduced a fellow Old Dominion University student, 17 year old Sarah Wisnosky, into a relationship with him and kidnapped her. She was raped, partially strangled, beaten to death with a hammer, and dumped into a river near campus grounds. Due to him being of Italian ancestry, his death sentence and execution sparked outrage in Italy.
80. Bobby Ramdass (1992-2000, lethal injection): Ramdass was condemned for the shooting death of Mohammed Kayani, a 34 year old Pakistani immigrant working as a clerk, during a convenience store robbery. He also shot dead 19 year old Darrell Ferguson in an alley and wounded a cab driver in other robberies.
81. Christopher Goins (1994-2000, lethal injection): Goins broke into the home of his 14 year old girlfriend (who was 7 months pregnant with his child). He shot and killed her parents, 35 year old James and 29 year old Daphne Jones, and her siblings, 9 year old Nicole and 4 year old David. The girlfriend and her youngest sibling, 21 month old Kenya, were also shot in the attack. Both of them survived, but the unborn child was lost in the shooting.
82. Thomas Akers (1998-2001, lethal injection): Akers and his accomplice were driving with their friend, 24 year old Wesley Smith. When they pulled over on a road to urinate, they pounced on Smith. In the attack, he was strangled with a belt and beaten to death with a baseball bat. They pair then grabbed $200 from his wallet and dumped his body in a creek. While on death row, Akers demanded his execution and made threats against the judge who sentenced him if it wasn't carried out.
83. Christopher Beck (1995-2001, lethal injection): Out of anger for being fired, Beck invaded the house of his former employer, 52 year old William Miller. He waited for him and his two roommates, 54 year old Florence Marks and 34 year old David Kaplan, to return home and shot and stabbed them all to death. Marks was also raped in the attack. Although Beck claimed that he "only" staged a sexual assault on her, a medical examination confirmed that she was abused in that manner. Beck stole several guns, bicycles, and money in the robbery.
84. James Patterson (1987-2002, lethal injection): Patterson held his friend's mother, 56 year old Joyce Aldridge, in her home at knifepoint. Enraged that she only had a few coins in her purse, he raped Aldridge, stabbed her 3 times, and left her to die. When Aldridge managed to crawl to a phone to call her son for help, Patterson returned and stabbed her 14 more times. Although Aldridge's murder was left unsolved for years, Patterson was later imprisoned for raping an 18 year old girl, and DNA found at the murder was traced to his samples filed in the inmate database in 2000.
85. Daniel Zirkle (1999-2002, lethal injection): Zirkle's girlfriend broke off their relationship due to his violent behavior and filed protective orders against him. He was arrested for violating them and sentenced to a few months in jail. After his release, Zirkle went to his ex girlfriend's home without her permission to visit their daughter, 4 year old Christina. However, the ex girlfriend's other daughter, 14 year old Jessica Shifflett, blocked him from coming inside. He stabbed her to death and kidnapped Christina. He then drove Christina to the George Washington National Forest, slit her throat, and stabbed himself in a failed suicide attempt.
86. Walter Mickens Jr. (~1974-2002, lethal injection): Mickens ambushed and sodomized 17 year old Timothy Hall, and stabbed him 143 times. He stripped the boy of nearly all of his clothing, and left him to die in an abandoned apartment. A long time sexual predator and career criminal, Mickens had several robbery and sodomy convictions dating back to the 70s. One of his previous incidents involved breaking into an elementary school, and coercing a teacher of her purse by threatening the life of a 7 year old student. He also had a conviction for sexually assaulting a cellmate.
87. Aimal Kasi (1993-2002, lethal injection): In his efforts to fight against American foreign policy regarding Islamic nations, Kasi attacked the Langley CIA headquarters with a Type 56 assault rifle. He shot dead 2 CIA employees, 66 year old Lansing Bennett and 28 year old Frank Darling, and wounded 3 others. Kasi then fled to Afghanistan, but was lured into his native Pakistan to be captured in a joint FBI-CIA led operation, and extradited back to the United States to face trial.
88. Earl Bramblett (~1970s(?)-2003, electric chair): Bramblett had molested 11 year old Winter Hodges and feared that her parents, 41 year old William and 37 year old Teresa, were planning on reporting him to the police. In an attempt to prevent that from happening, he attacked the family in their home. Teresa was strangled, while William, Winter, and another daughter, 3 year old Anah, were shot dead. Bramblett then set the house on fire to destroy any evidence of the murders. He had several abuse allegations and was also suspected in the 1977 disappearances of two 14 year old girls, Tammy Akers and Angela Rader, that worked for him, but was never charged for any of them.
89. Bobby Swisher (1997-2003, lethal injection): Swisher abducted 22 year old Dawn Snyder from her flower shop at knife point and raped her. He slashed Snyder's throat and dumped her into a nearby river. Despite managing to swim back to shore, Snyder succumbed to her injuries on the river bank.
90. Brian Cherrix (1994-2004, lethal injection): Cherrix ambushed 23 year old Tessa Van Hart while she was trying to deliver a pizza. He sodomized and shot Van Hart twice in the head, and left the body in her car. The crime was left unsolved until Cherrix was arrested for shooting and wounded his brother two years later. In an attempt to secure leniency, Cherrix disclosed some details of Van Hart's murder, but tried pinning it on a deceased cousin. He only confessed when investigators learned that the cousin couldn't have possibly done it.
91. Dennis Orbe (1998-2004, lethal injection): Orbe fatally shot Richard Burnett, a 39 year old clerk, while robbing a grocery store, and seized $90 from the register.
92. Mark Bailey (1998-2004, lethal injection): Bailey shot and killed his wife, 22 year old Katherine, and their 2 year old son, Nathan, while they were laying in bed. He claimed to investigators that the murders were done out of anger for Katherine's alleged infidelity.
93. James Hudson (2002-2004, lethal injection): In a feud over a driveway, Hudson broke into the home of the Cole family (consisting of brothers, 64 year old Thomas and 56 year old Walter, and Thomas' wife, 64 year old Patsy) to confront them with a shotgun. He shot all three of the Coles dead and drove away from the scene. Hudson was captured after nearly a day long manhunt.
94. James Reid (1996-2004, lethal injection): Reid stabbed 87 year old Annie Lester 22 times with a pair of scissors, beat her with a can of milk, and strangled her with the cord of a heating pad. He left the body in her bedroom and fled her house. Although the evidence for his guilt was overwhelming (which included the blood on his clothes matched Lester's DNA, several of his fingerprints were discovered on the murder weapons, samples of his saliva were found on a cigarette butt in her house, and his handwriting was identical to the writing of a death threat sent to Lester), Reid's death sentence and execution was contested on the grounds of him allegedly having brain damage from a car accident, seizures, and alcoholism. The motivations behind Lester's murder remain unknown, but prosecutors suspected that it might have been part of a bungled robbery or rape attempt.
95. Dexter Vinson (1997-2006, lethal injection): Vinson attacked his ex girlfriend, 25 year old Angela Felton, near her home. Felton tried to escape by driving away, but he rammed her car with his, and forced her inside it. She was then dragged into a vacant house, raped, beaten, and stabbed in the face, neck, arms, buttocks, stomach, and vagina. The body was left in the house as Vinson fled the scene.
96. Brandon Hedrick (1997-2006, electric chair): Hendrick kidnapped a sex worker, 23 year old Lisa Crider, while he was cruising for prostitutes. Initially, Crider and Hendrick had engaged in paid consensual relations, but the situation turned violent when he robbed her of $50 at gunpoint. She was then raped, shot in the face, and dumped into a river.
97. Michael Lenz (~1990s-2006, lethal injection): While serving 29 years for a burglary and weapons possession conviction, Lenz stabbed a fellow inmate, 41 year old Brent Parker, to death. Both were part of a Nordic Neopaganism sect, and the killing was committed over Parker allegedly not expressing enough devotion to their deities. Parker was serving a life sentence for killing a friend during a drunken rage at the time of his own murder.
98. John Schmitt (1999-2006, lethal injection): During a holdup of a bank, Schmitt shot and killed the guard, 39 year old Shelton Dunning, and took $35,000 from the vaults.
99. Kevin Green (1998-2008, lethal injection): Green and his teenage nephew stormed a convenience store, and forced the owners, 68 year old Lawrence Vaughan and his wife, 53 year old Patricia, to hand over $9,000 in cash. They then shot the couple, killing Patricia and wounding Lawrence.
100. Robert Yarbrough (1997-2008, lethal injection): Yarbrough and his accomplice tied up 77 year old Cyril Hamby while robbing his grocery store. They subjected Hamby to beatings and nearly decapitated him with a pocket knife. The pair then stole beer, wine, cigarettes, and an undisclosed amount of money.
101. Kent Jackson (2000-2008, lethal injection): Jackson and an accomplice attacked 79 year old Beulah Kaiser in her apartment, and raped her. She was stabbed several times in the neck, beaten, and her cane was shoved down her throat after she was anally penetrated with it. A cigarette butt found at the crime scene was traced to the pair.
102. Christopher Emmett (2001-2008, lethal injection): Emmett was staying at a motel room with a coworker, 43 year old John Langley, while they were working on an out of town roofing job. The pair played cards until Langley went to bed. As he slept, Emmett bludgeoned him to death with a lamp, and stole $100 from his wallet. He used the stolen money to buy crack cocaine.
103. Edward Bell (~1990s-2008, lethal injection): While running away from officers trying to arrest him for a parole violation, Bell shot and killed one of his pursers, 32 year old Sergeant Ricky Timbrook. Bell had a long criminal record, which included several felony and misdemeanor convictions of assault, burglary, carrying conceal weapons, and was found to have stolen a car during the investigations of Timbrook's murder.
104. John Muhammad (~1999-2008, lethal injection): The so called “D.C. Sniper”, Muhammad shot and killed 17 random people between the ages of 21-76 with the help of a teenage accomplice in mostly sniper attacks. The killings took place in the national capital, hence the epithet, and across several states. Due to his affiliation with the Nation of Islam and the accomplice’s accounts of planning terrorist attacks and training camps, Muhammad’s murder spree are often considered to be acts of Islamic extremism in the media. However, experts believe that his real intentions was to kill his estranged wife using the sniper attacks as a mask. Muhammad had a long history of domestic violence, and had abducted his children from his estranged wife on numerous occasions. His accomplice had also accused him of sexual abuse a few years after his execution.
105. Larry Elliott (2001-2008, electric chair): Elliott, a former military counterintelligence agent, was in an online "sugar daddy" relationship with a much younger woman. At the woman's request, Elliott sent her over $450,000, which she used to pay for a home, credit card, car, breast enhancement surgery, and enrolling her children in a private school. The woman was also involved with a bitter custody dispute with her children's father, 30 year old Robert Finch. In an attempt to win the woman's devotion, Elliott shot and killed Finch in his home, and beat Finch's girlfriend, 25 year old Dana Thrall, to death with the butt of his gun.
106. Paul Powell (1999-2010, electric chair): Angry that his friend, 16 year old Stacie Reed, was in an interracial relationship, Powell made an attempt to rape her in her home. When she fought back, Powell stabbed her to death. He also tied up Stacie's 14 year old sister to be raped, stabbed, and strangled, and left the girl to die in the family's basement. The sister managed to survive with the timely arrival of their stepfather, who called the police and the paramedics to the scene. On the mistaken belief that the death penalty was off the table, Powell sent letters flaunting the lewd details of the murder to taunt the prosecutors, judge, and the victims’ family.
107. Darick Walker (~1996-2010, lethal injection): In 1996, Walker walked up to the door of 36 year old Stanley Beale, and angrily accused him of showing up at his home despite the fact that they were complete strangers. He then shot Beale dead in front of his children and girlfriend, and ran away from the scene. A year later, Walker forced himself into an apartment, and shot 34 year old Clarence Threat seven times while he was laying in bed with his girlfriend. Walker had a history of violence and frequently stole from his friends and family. In one reported incident, he kicked the stomach of a pregnant woman in an act of rage.
108. Teresa Lewis (2002-2010, lethal injection): Lewis conspired with two men that she had a sexual relationship with to kill her husband, 51 year old Julian, and her stepson, 25 year old Charles. Charles was about to be deployed to participate in the then upcoming invasion of Iraq, which gave him a $250,000 life insurance policy that Lewis wanted to collect from both him and his father. She let her accomplices inside their trailer, and shot Julian and Charles while they were sleeping. Charles was killed immediately, while Julian, who witnessed Lewis pay the attackers, survived long enough to notify the responders of his wife's involvement.
109. Jerry Jackson (2001-2011, lethal injection): Jackson broke into the apartment of 88 year old Ruth Phillips, and woke her up while he was rummaging through her room. Despite Phillips' pleas for her life, Jackson raped her and suffocated her to death with a pillow. He stole her car and a total of $60 in the break in, and spent the stolen money on marijuana.
110. Robert Gleason (2007+(?)-2013, electric chair): In 2007, Gleason shot and killed 54 year old Michael Jamerson, in order to prevent him from testifying about his drug trafficking activities, and was given a life sentence for the murder. While incarcerated, he tied up and strangled his cellmate, 63 year old Harvey Watson (who serving a life sentence for a mass shooting). Prison officials then transferred him to a high security prison to await trial for Watson’s murder, but he managed to strangle another inmate, 26 year old Aaron Cooper (who was serving 34 years for robbery), to death with the wire that separated their cages. Gleason demanded the death penalty, which was given to him by the courts. He also claimed that he committed several other killings before Jamerson, but his additional confessions currently remain unverifiable.
111. Alfredo Prieto (~1984-2015, lethal injection): Prieto was both a serial killer of young women and a member of the Pomona Northside street gang. His sexual crimes involved the abductions, rapes, and shooting deaths of at least 4 females, 24 year old Tina Jefferson, 22 year old Rachael Raver, 19 year old Stacey Siegrist, and 15 year old Yvette Woodruff. Raver and Siegrist’s partners, 22 year old Warren Fulton III and 21 year old Anthony Gianuzzi, were also murdered during their kidnappings. The other known victims, 27 year old Manuel Sermeno, and couple, 71 year old Lula and 65 year old Herbert Farley, were shot dead during robberies. In the home invasion that killed Woodruff, Prieto and his fellow gang members also abducted her 17 year old friend and the friend’s 33 year old mother. The mother and daughter pair were gang-raped, shot and stabbed together, but they managed to escape with their lives. Prieto was sentenced to death in both California and Virginia, but stayed in California’s San Quentin until his death warrant was signed in Virginia. He had also shot and injured 3 gang members over his suspicions of them sleeping with his wife, but was lightly sentenced due to the victims' gang affiliations.
112. Ricky Gray (~2005-2017, lethal injection): Gray and his similarly aged nephew murdered at least 9 people, which composed of a lone woman, 35 year old Treva Gray, and two entire families, the Harveys (consisting of parents, 49 year old Bryan and 39 year old Kathryn, and their daughters, 9 year old Stella and 4 year old Ruby), and the Baskerville-Tuckers (consisting of 21 year old Ashley, her 46 year old mother Mary, and Mary’s 55 year old husband Percyell) in a week long burglary spree. Almost all of the victims were tied up and gagged in their homes, and beaten to death with hammers or had their throats slit. Before she was killed by them with her parents, victim Ashley Baskerville had assisted Gray and his nephew in several of their robberies. The pair stole any items and valuables they could carry, and were reported to have taken money, computers, television sets, wedding rings, and even cookies. They were also linked to several non fatal assaults, one of which involved a 26 year old man being beaten into a coma.
113. William Morva (~2005-2017, lethal injection): Morva, a son of Hungarian immigrants, and an accomplice were arrested while trying rob a grocery store at gunpoint. While awaiting trial, he badly sprained his ankle and wrist in prison, and was transferred to the Montgomery Regional Hospital for treatment. He overpowered a deputy guarding him with a metal toilet-paper container, stole his gun, fatally shot Derrick McFarland, a 25 year old hospital security guard, and escaped. Morva then fled to Virginia Tech’s campus, and shot and killed 40 year old Eric Sutphin, one of the police officers chasing him.

Just wanna share the main reason why i don't want to attend in this so called "true church" anymore.
I was sexually harrased by one of the ADDPRO when I was a kid, prolly I was around 7-8 years old and he's around 22 or 23 that time.
The first time he did it, we were on the bus going home from SPBB sa apalit. I'm seated sa gitnang upuan ng bus, if familiar kayo sa bus noon na may seats sa gitna ganon sya. Nasa tabi ko sya na upuan then nakatulog me, tapos naalimpungatan ako na yung kamay nya nasa gitna na ng legs ko. At first nasa mababa pa na part e, hanggang sa pataas ng pataas and luckily for me nakadating kami sa amin ng di nya ako nahawakan fully.
The second time is eto yung isa sa pinaka malala, kasi nangyari sya sa unit nila before sa apalit. Eh since im bata pa that time, oo lang ako ng oo eh parang that time sinabihan nya mom ko na sa unit nalang daw muna ako matulog tas hahatid nya nalang ako kinabukasan. So when we're there na, mind you kasama namin sa iisang kama yung ate nya and then he molested me and he tried to penetrate me pero hindi nya tinuloy. I can't defend myself kasi im a kid kaya after kong labasan non nagsabi na agad ako na gusto kong pumunta sa pwesto nila mama. And this jerk while we're walking back to our pwesto, ginaslight pa ako na kesyo baka kaya KO lang daw nagawa yon kasi curious ako. So me as a bata, I believed.
Third, so this guy kasi is very close to my family because my mom used to work for them as a labandera. As we all know, yearly there is a scheduled outing sa beloved Morong Star Beach Resort noon, and since our family isn't that financially fortunate kapag sasama kami sa Morong yung guy yung nagbabayad ng seat ko lagi. So since he'll pay for my seat, my mom will tell me to take a seat beside this guy to show appreciation ganon. And then it happened right there sa BUS.
Ilang beses syang naulit I think until I was 14 before ako nabautismuhan. The reason why ako nagpabautismo is because I feel so dirty whenever naaalala ko at nakakasalubong ko sya sa lokal. At first I thought pa nga na ako lang ginanon nya, but no, ginanon nya din bestfriend ko na gay sa van naman and mind you nasa same na van ang parents ng bestfriend ko na yon, apaka walanghiya.
Until now, traumatized pa din ako at ayaw na ayaw ko syang makita. Pero since tinanggal na ang zoom "kuno" I really want to exit na kasi nanunumbalik yung alaalang ganon.
Ps. Didn't open it up to my parents kasi, natakot ako talaga na magsabi :((

Despite the typo in the title, this is the second part of my list for Missouri's execution roster. As stated in the first part, character count limitations forced me to split it into two separate posts. For the link to part 1, please click here.
The currently executed 98 offenders, cases 50 to 98:
50. Samuel Smith (1979-2001, lethal injection): In 1979, Smith bound and strangled a physician, 28 year old Zachary Moraitis, to death while robbing his apartment. He was charged and convicted for second degree murder, and given a 12 year sentence for it. 8 years later, a group of inmates, which included 24 year old Marlin May, attacked another inmate. Smith intervened, got into a knife fight with May, and stabbed him to death.
51. Jerome Mallett (~1985-2001, lethal injection): Mallett shot and killed James Froemsdorf, a 35 year old state trooper that pulled him over for speeding, with his own handgun when he tried to arrest him. He fled the scene with a handcuff stuck on his left wrist, which was still on him when Mallett was captured two days later. As a child, Mallett suffered an injury that deformed his right hand, which enabled to slip it out of the cuffs during the botched arrest. At the time of Froemsdorf's murder, Mallett was wanted for robbery and parole violations.
52. Michael Roberts (1994-2001, lethal injection): Roberts tricked his neighbor, 56 year old Mary Taylor, into letting him hang out at her house with the intentions of pulling a robbery. They watched television together for several hours until Taylor decided to hush out of the door. He then pounced on her with a hammer he snuck inside, and inflicted 19 blows to her head. Roberts also poured boiling water on Taylor's face, choked her with a telephone cord, and stabbed her with her own butcher knife. A total of $200 and other undisclosed valuables were stolen and most of it was spent on cocaine.
53. Stephen Johns (1982-2001, lethal injection): During a gas station robbery, Johns and his accomplices shot and killed the clerk, 17 year old Donald Voepel, and took $248 from the register.
54. James Johnson (1991-2002, lethal injection): Johnson got into an argument with his wife and daughter in their home and tried to evict them both at gunpoint. The police were called, and Johnson shot and killed the responding officer, 27 year old Leslie Roark. He drove to the home of another police officer, and fired on his family while they were having a Christmas party. The officer's wife, 38 year old Pam Jones, died in the shooting. Johnson then attacked other policemen in their homes, and fatally shot 54 year old Sheriff Charles Smith in one assault, wounded an officer in another, and gunned down a deputy sheriff, 42 year old Sandra Wilson, when she tried to respond to his rampage. He took a female hostage in a standoff with police, but Johnson released her and surrendered after a day of negotiations.
55. Michael Owsley (1993-2002, lethal injection): Owsley and his accomplice double crossed their dealers, 18 year old Elvin Iverson and Ellen Cole (age unknown), during a drug deal and tied them up at gunpoint. The pair beat and strangled their captives in the hope of extorting money from them. Iverson was shot point blank in the head while Cole managed to escape their captors.
56. Jeffrey Tokar (~1983-2002, lethal injection): Tokar and his girlfriend drove into a remote countryside in search of empty houses and farms to rob. The couple picked a farm house owned by 35 year old Johnny Douglass as their target. While they were burglarizing the property, Douglass returned home from an errand with his 8 year old son and 4 year old daughter. The family ran into the couple when they went inside, and Tokar held them at gunpoint. Despite Douglass' daughter pleading for her father's life and Douglass' own pleas, Tokar shot him dead. He had a long history of burglaries, and was released from prison after serving 3 years for burglary just months before the murder. His other previous convictions include DUI and assault.
57. Paul Kreutzer (1992-2002, lethal injection): Kreutzer bound and raped 36 year old Louise Hemphill in her own home. Hemphill was stabbed in the neck, beaten with a baseball bat, and strangled to death with a belt. Her purse, along with other incriminating items such as duct tape, bloodied gloves, and a bb gun, was discovered in Kreutzer's possession.
58. Daniel Basile (1992-2002, lethal injection): Basile was hired to kill 28 year old Elizabeth DeCaro by her husband, who wanted to collect a life insurance policy. He carried out the murder by shooting Elizabeth dead in her kitchen.
59. William Jones Jr. (1986-2002, lethal injection): Jones was dating a much older man, 49 year old Stanley Albert. He shot and killed Albert "execution style" in his apartment, wrapped him in a blanket, and dumped his body in a forest. Although Jones claimed that he acted to protect himself from a sexual assault, prosecutors postulated that the murder was motived by his desire to steal Albert's car (which he was captured speeding in).
60. Kenneth Kenley (~1984-2003, lethal injection): In the last of a day long string of robberies, Kenley stormed a tavern and shot a customer, 27 year old Ronnie Felts, dead. He kidnapped the tavern's owner, but she managed to escape from him in the parking lot. Kenley also abducted a woman during a convenience store robbery earlier that day, and sexually assaulted and shot her. She managed to jump out of his car window and survived her injuries. He was released from a 4 year prison sentence for theft just months before his rampage.
61. John Smith (1997-2003, lethal injection): Smith stabbed his ex girlfriend, 22 year old Brandie Kearnes, and her stepfather, 51 year old Wayne Hoewing, to death in their home. Kearnes wrote Smith's name in her own blood as she was dying from her injuries.
62. Stanley Hall (1987-2005, lethal injection): Hall carjacked 44 year old Barbara Wood to use her car in a planned drive by shooting and tossed her into the Mississippi river from a bridge in front of responding police officers. Years before, Hall shot and wounded a 4 year old girl while trying to kill a man he had been chasing, and had been on parole for that crime at the time of Wood's abduction and murder.
63. Donald Jones (1993-2005, lethal injection): Jones walked inside the home of his grandmother, 68 year old Dorothy Knuckles, to beg for money. They got into an argument over his cocaine addiction and alcoholism, and he stabbed her to death with a butcher knife from the kitchen. He then stole an undisclosed amount of money, a VCR set, and her car. Jones used both the money he gained from renting the car and selling the VCR set and the money he stole from Knuckles for cocaine.
64. Vernon Brown (~1973-2005, lethal injection): Brown raped, strangled, and fatally stabbed 19 year old Synetta Ford in her apartment. A year later, he enticed 9 year old Janet Perkins into his home. He then sexually abused and strangled her to death with rope. Brown forced his 11 year old, 9 year old, and 7 year old stepsons to help him dispose of Perkins' body. A lifelong sexual predator, he had a prior conviction of assaulting a 12 year old girl and molested his stepsons. Authorities also suspected that he was involved with the murders of 9 year old Kimberly Campbell and a still unidentified Jane Doe, but he was never charged for them.
65. Timothy Johnston (1989-2005, lethal injection): Johnston beat his wife, 27 year old Nancy, with a chair and kicked her to death in front of her 11 year old stepson (from a previous relationship) over his suspicions of her infidelity. According to the stepson, Johnston physically abused her several times in their marriage. He was part of a biker gang and also had charges of burglary and assault pending at the time of the killing. As a side note, Nancy's stepson was living with the couple, as his biological mother went missing and his biological father committed suicide in the boy's presence a year before the murder.
66. Marlin Gray (1991-2005, lethal injection): Gray and 3 accomplices kidnapped two sisters, 20 year old Julie and 19 year old Robin Kerry, in front of their 19 year old cousin. The sisters were gang raped together and thrown off a bridge. Their cousin was also tossed off the bridge, but he survived his injuries.
67. Dennis Skillicorn (1979-2009, lethal injection): In 1979, Skillicorn and some accomplices shot and killed 81 year old Wendell Howell in his home and stole his television set. He was given a relatively lenient sentence of 35 years for agreeing to testify against the other shooters and was paroled in 1992. A few years after his release, Skillicorn recruited another felon, Allen Nicklasson, and a teenage boy they befriended, and went on another robbery spree. In the process, they fatally shot 31 year old Paul Hines, 47 year old Richard Drummond, 47 year old Joseph Babcock, Joesph's 38 year old wife Charlene, and possibly an unidentified woman in Mexico. The gang found themselves stranded on roads and highways several times due to poor driving, and Drummond and the Babcocks were both abducted and murdered when they tried to help them out.
68. Martin Link (~1982-2011, lethal injection): A chronic sexual predator, Link abducted 11 year old Elissa Self-Braun while she was walking home from school. Self-Braun was raped and strangled to death with a cord. He had several previous convictions of sexual assaults against young girls and grown women between the ages of 13-71, and was caught in a prostitution sting operation. Many of Link's victims testified in the murder trial and partially secured his death sentence.
69. Joseph Franklin (~1977-2013, lethal injection): In a rampage that spanned across several states, Franklin shot 15 to 20 victims between the ages of 13-45 in mostly sniper attacks, and firebombed a synagogue. Most of his victims were killed, but a few such as pornographer Larry Flynt (36 years old at the time of the shooting) and and Civil Rights attorney Vernon Jordan (45 years old at the time of the shooting) survived their injuries. Franklin was a white supremacist, and mostly targeted Blacks, Jews, civil rights activists, and interracial couples.
70. Allen Nicklasson (~1980s-2013, lethal injection): Nicklasson assisted the above mentioned Dennis Skillicorn in the robbery murders of Paul Hines, Richard Drummond, Joseph and Charlene Babcock. He had a history of petty crimes starting as a child, but my sources were scant on the details.
71. Herbert Smulls (~1994-2014, lethal injection): While robbing a jewelry store with an accomplice, Smulls shot and killed the owner, 57 year old Stephen Honickman, and stole some jewelry. He had 11 previous convictions of robbery and theft, and was tied to another robbery committed in similar circumstances.
72. Michael Taylor (1989-2014, lethal injection): Taylor and Roderick Nunley kidnapped 15 year old Ann Harrison while she was waiting for a school bus. They dragged her inside their car and drove Harrison to the home owned by Nunley's mother. She was gang-raped by the pair in the house's garage and stabbed to death.
73. Jeffrey Ferguson (1988-2014, lethal injection): Ferguson and an accomplice snatched 17 year old Kelli Hall from a service station she worked at. She was taken to a barn, where she was raped and strangled to death. Hall's body was dumped on the property. Ferguson had an assault conviction that pertained to an incident of him shooting and injuring a friend in a dispute over a woman. That same woman also claimed that Ferguson sexually assaulted and physically abused her numerous times while they lived together.
74. William Rousan (1993-2014, lethal injection): Rousan, his teenage son, and his brother attacked a farm owned by a married couple, 67 year old Charles and 62 year old Grace Lewis. Under his orders, Rousan's son shot and killed both of the Lewis'. The Rousans stole the couple's truck, a VCR set, two cows, jewelry, and a saddle in the robbery.
75. John Winfield (1996-2014, lethal injection): Winfield was enraged that his ex girlfriend started dating another man and confronted her about it at her apartment. Two friends of her, 23 year old Shawnee Murphy and 20 year old Arthea Sanders, were also present with them. In a fit of anger, Winfield shot all three of the women multiple times each. Murphy and Sanders died at the scene, while the ex girlfriend survived with severe facial disfigurements and was permanently blinded.
76. John Middleton (~1990s-2014, lethal injection): Middleton was a meth dealer whose operations had been increasingly compromised by police raids. In an attempt to root out the potential informants, he armed himself with an SKS rifle, and shot and killed three of his associates, 39 year old Randy Hamilton, 29 year old Alfred Pinegar, and 21 year old Stacey Hodge. He disposed of the bodies with the help of his girlfriend. A rival meth dealer had also accused Middleton of raping and beating his girlfriend to death with a baseball bat, but he wasn't prosecuted for that crime.
77. Michael Worthington (1995-2014, lethal injection): Worthington cut through the window screen of a neighboring condo, and sexually assaulted the tenant, 24 year old Melinda Griffin. He strangled her to death with a cord and his bare hands when she tried to fight back. Griffin's car, jewelry, and credit cards were stolen by Worthington, and he used the card to buy drugs.
78. Earl Ringo Jr. (1998-2014, lethal injection): Ringo and his accomplice ambushed a delivery driver, 45 year old Dennis Poyser, and a manager trainee, 22 year old JoAnna Baysinger, as they were walking into a Ruby Tuesday restaurant. He shot and killed Poyser upon entry, and forced Baysinger to pull out $1,400 from the restaurant's safe. Despite her compliance, Ringo shot Baysinger in the head.
79. Leon Taylor (~1975-2014, lethal injection): In 1975, Taylor and some accomplices fatally stabbed 62 year old Jesse Howartzer while burglarizing his apartment. He was given a second degree murder conviction and was released sometime before the 1990s. In 1994, Taylor and his half siblings forced a gas station attendant, 53 year old Robert Newton, to pull out $400 from the register and shot him dead. Newton's 8 year old stepdaughter was also present to keep him company, and Taylor moved to kill her as well. The girl's life was only spared when his gun jammed. After the robbery, he expressed his regrets of not "choking the little bitch" to his siblings.
80. Paul Goodwin (1998-2014, lethal injection): Goodwin was removed from a boarding home, and he blamed his neighbor, 63 year old Joan Crotts, for it. His habit of harassment towards her intensified, and he repeatedly shouted vulgarities and threats on her front porch, tossed beer bottles and eggs at her lawn and house, and fed her dog chicken bones. It escalated to the breaking point when Crotts invited Goodwin inside her home in an attempt to have the issue peacefully resolved. Goodwin instead forced Crotts to perform oral sex on him and bludgeoned her to death with a hammer. His execution was controversial, as Goodwin allegedly had a cognitive disability.
81. Walter Storey (1990-2015, lethal injection): Storey climbed up the balcony of his apartment complex, and entered a neighboring flat. He stabbed the tenant, 36 year old Jill Frey, 12 times with his kitchen knife and broke 6 of her ribs in a beating. Frey's pocketbook, keys, and car were stolen in the robbery.
82. Cecil Clayton (1996-2015, lethal injection): Clayton got into an altercation with his estranged girlfriend at a store, and shoved her a number of times. The employees notified the police, and a few officers were sent to the scene. They spoke with Clayton and he agreed to return to his home while the police escorted the shaken girlfriend back to hers. In the following night, Clayton tried to break into her house, and she called the police. One of the dispatched officers, 29 year old Christopher Castetter, was shot dead in the ensuring confrontation.
83. Andre Cole (1998-2015, lethal injection): Cole broke a window and entered the home of his ex wife to confront her about debts relating to child support payments for their two children. His ex wife's boyfriend, 38 year old Anthony Curtis, tried to usher him out the door, but was stabbed to death for his troubles. Cole also attacked his ex wife, but she survived her injuries.
84. Richard Strong (~1999-2015, lethal injection): Strong fatally stabbed his girlfriend, 23 year old Eva Washington and her 2 year old daughter, Zandrea Thomas, in their apartment. Both of the bodies were mutilated almost beyond recognition. He had assaulted Washington numerous times in their relationship. Many of the episodes were taken to the courts. One choking incident required him to be in anger management classes and Washington pushed a restraining order that she later withdrew in another.
85. David Zink (~1980s-2015): Zink kidnapped 19 year old Amanda Morton after ramming her car with his own on the freeway. He bound Morton to a cemetery tree and raped her. She was beaten to death, and her body was found with over 100 blunt trauma related injuries. Zink had just been released after serving 20 out of a 33 year sentence for sexual assault at the time of the abduction and murder.
86. Roderick Nunley (1989-2015, lethal injection): As mentioned under Michael Taylor's section, Nunley partook in the abduction, rape, and murder of Ann Harrison.
87. Earl Forrest II (2002-2015, lethal injection): Forrest was in the home of 51 year old Harriet Smith trying to negotiate a deal involving her buying him a lawn mower and a trailer in exchange for a source of meth. An argument broke out, and Forrest fatally shot Smith and her housemate, 41 year old Michael Wells. He stole $25,000 worth of meth and fled to his home. A squad of responding police officers confronted him there and Forrest opened fire on them. Sharon Barnes, a 48 year old deputy, was killed, and Sheriff Bob Wofford and Forrest's girlfriend Angela Gamblin were wounded by him in the exchange.
88. Mark Christeson (1998-2017, lethal injection): Christeson and his cousin abducted 37 year old Susan Brouk, and her two children, 12 year old Adrian and 9 year old Kyle, from their home at gunpoint. The pair raped Susan, slashed her throat, and drowned her and her children together in a pond. Several items such as the family's shotguns, television set, VCR, car stereo, video game controller, and checkbooks were stolen from the home, and sold for money to sustain themselves as fugitives.
89. Russell Bucklew (1996-2019, lethal injection): Bucklew was infuriated that his ex girlfriend, Stephanie Ray, broke off their relationship and started dating 27 year old Michael Sanders. He began by beating Ray in her trailer, cut her jaw with a knife, and threatened to kill her if she stepped foot in Sanders' trailer. The attack had the opposite effect of its' objective, and instead terrified Ray to the point of moving in with Sanders for protection. Weeks later, Bucklew "borrowed" his brothers' handcuffs and guns, and stormed Sanders' trailer. He shot and killed Sanders, shot at his 6 year old son, and kidnapped Ray. Bucklew bound her with the handcuffs, dragged her into his car, and raped her. She was rescued by police officers, who wounded and subduded Bucklew in a shootout. However, Bucklew briefly escaped, and attacked Ray's mother and her boyfriend with a hammer before he was recaptured. His execution was contested, as Bucklew allegedly had a medical condition that would've made the lethal injection "inhumane."
90. Walter Barton (1991-2020, lethal injection): Barton was condemned for the fatal attack on his landlady, 81 year old Gladys Kuehler in her trailer. She was raped and stabbed over 50 times. A page from Kuehler's checkbook was taken, which was used to transfer $50 to Barton's account. Blood found on his clothes were also linked to Kuehler by a DNA test. Kuehler and Barton were reportedly close and many accounts report that he assisted her in walking and did chores around her home. However, she had him evicted due to falling far behind on rent days before the murder. Barton, his attorneys, and supporters in Missouri’s Innocence Project pushed that the blood on his clothes was from posthumous contact with Kuehler’s body while allegedly discovering it. From such concerns, his execution was a source of controversy.
91. Ernest Johnson (~1990s-2020, lethal injection): Johnson held a retail store at gunpoint. In retaliation for the employees destroying the safe key, Johnson shot 3 employees, 58 year old Fred Jones, 57 year old Mable Scruggs, and 46 year old Mary Bratcher. When the victims survived the initial shootings, he beat and stabbed them to death with a hammer and a screwdriver. He had previous convictions of robbery and burglary, and was released from prison a year before the murders. His execution was contested, as Johnson had brain surgery to remove a tumor in 2014. According to his attorneys, the operation rendered him cognitively disabled, and therefore was ineligible for execution.
92. Carman Deck (1996-2022, lethal injection): Deck, his sister, and their mother's boyfriend invaded the home of a couple, 69 year old James and 67 year old Zelma Long. They shot and killed the Longs, and stole jewelry, checks, and a total of $200 from the house.
93. Kevin Johnson Jr. (~2000s-2022, lethal injection): Johnson was heavily involved with robberies and other crimes as a teenager, and spent much of his time in and out of prison. In 2005, local law enforcement suspected Johnson of violating the terms of his probation, and raided his family home. His 12 year old brother died of a seizure during the search, and Johnson and the family blamed the officers involved. He hunted down one of the officers, 43 year old William McEntee, and shot and killed him while he was on patrol.
94. Scott/Amber McLaughlin (~1992-2023, lethal injection): McLaughlin abducted their girlfriend, 45 year old Beverly Guenther, from her office as she was getting off from a shift. They raped and stabbed Guenther to death, and dumped her body in a neighborhood. Guenther’s family recounted that McLaughlin was extremely abusive during their relationship, and harassed Guenther when she left them. The harassment included several incidents of burglarizing Guenther’s home. McLaughlin was also a registered sex offender with a conviction of molesting a 14 year old girl. They received national attention for being the first known transsexual to be executed in the United States. Biologically male during their offenses and transitioned to female on death row.
95. Leonard Taylor (2004-2023, lethal injection): Taylor shot and killed his girlfriend, 28 year old Angela Rowe, and her 3 children, 10 year old Alexus, 6 year old AcQreya, and 5 year old Tyrese, in their home. He had several unrelated sexual offenses against a former stepdaughter and other unidentified women, and was involved with drug trafficking. Despite his history and the other damning evidence against him (including testimony of his brother mentioning that he confided about committing the murder and traces of Angela's blood being found on his glasses), Taylor was popular among Missouri Innocence Project organizations for his daughter's alleged claims of him calling her 2,000 miles away from the crime scene.
96. Michael Tisius (2000-2023, lethal injection): In an attempt to break a friend out of a rural jail, Tisus shot and killed two guards, 33 year old Leon Egley and 36 year old Jason Acton. However, he was driven away by police reinforcements, and forced to flee the jail emptyhanded with his accomplice, the friend's girlfriend. They were captured in Kansas when their car broke down. Tisus was previously held in the targeted jail for an unspecified misdemeanor, and became acquainted with his friend while they were cellmates.
97.Johnny Johnson (2004-2023, lethal injection): Johnson was sleeping over at a friend's house where 6 year old Cassandra Williamson was also staying with her father. In the middle of the night, Johnson lured Williamson into an abandoned factory, and raped her. When she tried to fight back, he crushed her skull with a brick. At the time of the murder, Johnson was a transient with a criminal history, but I couldn't find any specifics regarding his past convictions. Johnson's execution was a source of controversy, as he was previously diagnosed with schizophrenia.
98.Brian Dorsey (~2006-2024, lethal injection): Dorsey was on the run from a drug related debt to his dealers and retreated to his cousin, 25 year old Sarah Bonnie, and her husband, 28 year old Benjamin, for sanctuary. In their home, he shot the couple dead in front of their 4 year old daughter and performed acts of necrophila on Sarah's body.

so I have been seeing this debate on "Would you rather be trapped in the woods with a random man or a bear "It got a lot of men mad so let me put my input here i chose the bearas a woman in this world, I know the dangers of men I have been held down while an ex forced his finger inside me a bear wouldnt do thatI have been molested from the ages of 13-16 a bear wouldn't do that my point is a bear wouldn't rape me I can scare the bear off or the bear would just leave me alonea man wouldn't do that a man would keep coming and won't stop until you threatened police and I have a example of thiswhen I was about 18 or 19 I went on a date with my ex Cody to the movies the whole entire time I was there watching that movie with him he touched my breast he didn't want to watch the movie he wanted a booty callthat next weekend I had introduced him to a friend of mine he was over age she was underage at the time and he was sending her messages asking her if she wanted to fuck himshe sent me screenshots and I ended it with him and she blocked him that same fucking week he began stalking me and sent me a text saying "I'm gonna come rape you kill you and burn your house down with your family in it"\They then carved into my tree in the front yard "I can see you" which terrified me that weekend I had actually ended up going to my mom's house just because its a good break from my sisterthis creep followed the city bus to my mom's house waited until I got inside and knocked on my mom's door! when I got home I called the police and told the officer he had been stalking me and they asked where he worked i told them and they said they couldn't do anything until he tried something so my answer is yes I choose a bear I trust that bear would act like a bear

Now before I get the whole, "No, sexual assault is never your fault." I know that's true to an extent but for me I felt like it was my fault and I'll tell you why I think that.
Before this situation, I am just my grandmothers and grandfathers 15 year old granddaughter living with them because my mother had kicked me out for basically being useless, ergo my presence with my Grandfather and grandmothers home. They spoil me, they basically do anything to try and feed me with a silver spoon and they have now made a "plan" to not only send me money fortnightly but also give me money (cash) ontop of that.
Now this all feels too good to be true for me, so now I am greedfully spending my money on unnecessary things that I deemed to be a necessity such as luxury-spends, nails, shoes, clothes, dr@gs, alcohol, anything that a 15 year old girl would want at the time, I was getting. But as my stay progressed, I would notice my grandfather be oddly rude and somewhat pedophilic, the sum of reasons that caused this was because of 1. His Phone. He had extreme amounts of teen porn filled to the brim on his phone, every app I clicked on had some sort of naked picture of a teenage girl inappropriately doing things to herself. I shrugged it off because androids are easy to inject with viruses and malware if you're not careful and especially if you don't know the foundation of your phone's security.

1. The way he behaved around my Grandmother and the way he talked about women.

There are things I will always understand about people, but not about the things he has said about doing to women, and about what women should do to him. I always cringed at what he would say to me, and most of the time I genuinely wouldn't listen and most of the things he'd say would fly across my head, but there was this one time he had insulted my grandmother infront of me, and this time, she retailiated instead of hitting him in the head like the usual spite of her to do. So, I actually spoke back to him and he had just chuckled and brushed it off like his comment didn't matter, but it did.

1. The way he behaved around ME.

He would always offer to do my laundry which I would consistently reject because I am my own person and I've always been capable enough to do my own things in life, but most of the time when I would be too tired to do my laundry, he would do it and I would get very mad for him touching my things because specific things like bras, and panties of mine would disappear after he would handle them and I would have to end up buying new undergarments because of this, he would also try to change my bedsheets and anything like that to help out which I would appreciate but he would also try to lay on the bed as well after doing this and it would also make me feel super uncomfortable, another thing he used to do was sit next to my bed watching TV (because I was living in the lounge area which had a couple of couches, a big single bed, a TV and half of that room would be cut off into the kitchen.) I would wake up most of the time to him on his phone, watching porn infront of my unconscious body and I almost puked the first time I saw. This was only a couple of times but I've also seen him squeeze his d*ck mid conversation with me and I would only notice because he did it quite visibly.
Now the day that came, and why I think this situation of his assault was my fault was because well, I was under a lot of heavy influential drugs, that I thought was just weed but came to only found out later that they were laced. I was smoking a lot of marijuana at the time and I think this night, I had none so, my grandfather had come home late at night after finishing work, he had smelt of alcohol and liqour and I had asked him to talk with me, I had given him a hug and thanked him for being my koro. He started to rub me and tried to feel me up but I had stopped his hand and smiled at him, he smiled back at me and then I tried to pull away but he had pulled me back in so I had assumed it was for another hug, so to try to get him away from me and out of respect for my elders, I kiss him on the cheek, and so I pull away another time and now he is trying to kiss me. I actually swerve him and tell him no, and now I finally push him hard enough for him to stumble back.
(By the way, when I mean kiss on the cheek, I really mean a kiss on the cheek as out of respect. In my culture, a kiss on the cheek represents the love of someones child being brought back to them. So no, I didn't mean for the kiss to be represented as inappropriate.) Within that same minute, he had apologized and it was never brought up again until, I started acknowledging the effects of not only the drugs, but my mindset when I had came to my grandparents. I had left months later and had started living back with my mum, having not telling her anything, I broke down a lot.
I had told my mother that my grandfather's son, (my uncle) had molested me. (Which was a straight-out lie and an irrational accusation). I was going to make a report but I made the decision not to because I knew it was a lie and knew I wouldn't be believed in, but my brother and my mother did believe me at the time. I was going insane trying to wrap my head around the betrayal my grandfather had just handed me, and it took me longer than what was going on for me to realize that I had to process what had happened a bit more further than I would've liked to admit at the time. So, fast forward onto this month of May, my grandmother is picking me up from a local bus stop and driving me back to my Aunty's house that I am currently staying at for school. She is now hounding me about the rumours about her son, (my uncle) about him molesting me. I eventually break down to her and tell her the truth about my grandfather and she apologizes because I am basically snot-faced crying crocodile tears that won't stop falling.
Ever since then, my grandmother has ignored and avoided all messages from me and I have avoided all contact with my grandfather, I still think It's my fault til this day and I understand if others do as well. I was in a very depressed mental state alongside the fact that I was a useless teenager who almost dropped out of school because of my smoking addiction and laziness to do better.
TLDR; My grandfather sexually assaulted me and I think it was my fault because I was being a young, stupid teenage girl.

There's a lot going on in state legislatures right now. I very much recommend keeping up with what's happening in your state because there are just a few of the hundreds of pieces of legislation on the table in the US right now. A handful of them are good things.
Pay special attention to the ones that have passed.
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Rhode Island - Introduced
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https://webserver.rilegislature.gov/BillText24/HouseText24/H7832.pdf
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Allows the sexual offender board of review to use, in addition to applicable validated risk assessment tools, a structured professional judgment approach to determine the level of risk a registered sex offender poses to the community.
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Rhode Island - Introduced
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https://webserver.rilegislature.gov/BillText24/HouseText24/H8129.pdf
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Includes visual images that are created or manipulated by digitization, or without the consent of the person, within the purview of the crime of unauthorized dissemination of indecent material and expands jurisdiction of the crime.
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Rhode Island - Introduced
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https://webserver.rilegislature.gov/BillText24/SenateText24/S2826.pdf
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Allows the sexual offender board of review to use, in addition to applicable validated risk assessment tools, a structured professional judgment approach to determine the level of risk a registered sex offender poses to the community.
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New Hampshire (bill is projected to pass)
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https://gencourt.state.nh.us/bill_status/legacy/bs2016/billText.aspx?sy=2024&id=1571&txtFormat=html
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Prohibits registered sex offenders from employment at businesses providing direct services to minors or direct supervision or oversight of minors.
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Alabama - ENACTED
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https://alison.legislature.state.al.us/files/pdfdocs/SearchableInstruments/2024RS/HB127-int.pdf
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Makes it a class C Felony to tamper with GPS/Electronic Monitor
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Michigan - Proposed
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https://legislature.mi.gov/documents/2023-2024/billintroduced/Senate/htm/2024-SIB-0843.htm
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Makes having sex with a dead body a registerable offense
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Ohio - Passed
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https://search-prod.lis.state.oh.us/solarapi/v1/general_assembly_135/bills/hb161/IN/00/hb161_00_IN?format=pdf
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Amends sections 2907.02, 2907.03, 2907.04, 2907.05, 2907.06, 2907.07, and 2945.42 of the Revised Code to eliminate the spousal exceptions for the offenses of rape, sexual battery, unlawful sexual conduct with a minor, gross sexual imposition, sexual imposition, and importuning and to permit a person to testify against the person's spouse in a prosecution for any of those offenses.
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Alabama - ENACTED
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https://alison.legislature.state.al.us/files/pdfdocs/SearchableInstruments/2024RS/HB168-int.pdf
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Raises max age (was 17, now is 18) for offenses involving obscene materials with depictions of children, authorizes punitive damages for victims of those offenses, and directs Board of Ed. to require policies related to those offenses
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Illinois - Proposed
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https://www.ilga.gov/legislation/103/HB/10300HB5541.htm
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Amends the Sex Offender Registration Act. Reinserts the provisions of the introduced bill with the following changes. Provides that moneys in the Offender Registration Fund shall be allocated pursuant to the Sex Offender Registration Act and the Murderer and Violent Offender Against Youth Registration Act (rather than just the Sex Offender Registration Act). Provides that the verification letters may be sent electronically. Clarifies that the registration information must include a photograph of the sex offender which shall be updated at each registration rather than annually. Makes technical changes.
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Illinois - Proposed
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https://www.ilga.gov/legislation/103/HB/10300HB1390.htm
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Provides that a period of probation, a term of periodic imprisonment, or conditional discharge shall not be imposed for a felony offense that requires registration under the Sex Offender Registration Act.
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Illinois - Proposed
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*There's a LOT to this one. Recommend reading it if you live there.
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https://www.ilga.gov/legislation/103/HB/10300HB4623.htm
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Provides that a person who is convicted of obscene depiction of a purported child is ineligible to receive a school bus driver permit. Amends the Criminal Code of 2012. Provides that "child pornography" includes the depiction of a part of an actual child under 18 who by manipulation, creation, or modification, appears to be engaged in sexual activity. Creates the offenses of obscene depiction of a purported child and non-consensual dissemination of sexually explicit digitized depictions. Defines offenses and provides criminal penalties for violations. Amends the Code of Criminal Procedure of 1963. Provides for the forfeiture to the State: (1) of any profits or proceeds and any property the person has acquired or maintained in violation of those offenses; (2) any interest in, securities of, claim against, or property or contractual right of any kind affording a source of influence over any enterprise that the person has established, operated, controlled, or conducted in violation of those offenses; and (3) any computer that contains an obscene depiction of a purported child. Amends the Bill of Rights for Children. Provides that under certain conditions, the parent or legal guardian of a child who is the victim of obscene depiction of a purported child may make a victim's impact statement on the impact which the defendant's criminal conduct or the juvenile's delinquent conduct has had upon the child. Amends the Unified Code of Corrections. Provides that a period of probation, a term of periodic imprisonment, or conditional discharge shall not be imposed for specified violations of the offense of obscene depiction of a purported child. Provides for enhanced penalties for specified violations of obscene depiction of a purported child. Provides that the court shall impose a consecutive sentence when the defendant is convicted of specified violations of the offense of obscene depiction of a purported child. Amends the Sex Offender Registration Act to provide that a person convicted of obscene depiction of a purported child must register as a sex offender.
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Illinois - Proposed
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https://www.ilga.gov/legislation/BillStatus.asp?DocNum=2158&GAID=17&DocTypeID=SB&SessionID=112&GA=103
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This actually lowers the distance on residence restrictions.
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Provides that it is unlawful for a child sex offender with the duty to register under the Sex Offender Registration Act to knowingly reside within 250 (rather than 500) feet of a school building or the real property comprising any school that persons under the age of 18 attend, a playground, child care institution, day care center, part day child care facility, (deletes day care home and group day care home) or a facility providing programs or services exclusively directed toward persons under 18 years of age. Provides that the provisions do not apply if the property was established as the child sex offender's current address of registration prior to the date that entity was opened, or if the entity must obtain a license in order to provide programs or services, the date that the license was issued. Amends the Arsonist Registration Act, the Sex Offender Registration Act, and the Murderer and Violent Offender Against Youth Registration Act. Provides that if the registrant is an indigent person, the law enforcement agency having jurisdiction shall (rather than may) waive the registration fee. Lowers various penalties from felonies to misdemeanors for violations of these Acts. Reduces the registration period under the Murderer and Violent Offender Against Youth Registration Act from 10 years to 5 years. Defines in the various Acts "indigent person" and "poverty guidelines". Provides that the amendatory changes apply retroactively. Makes other changes. Effective immediately.
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Illinois - Introduced
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https://www.ilga.gov/legislation/103/HB/10300HB2279.htm
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Amends the Criminal Code of 2012. In the statutes prohibiting child sex offenders and sexual predators from being present or loitering in public parks, provides that "public park" includes an indoor or outdoor facility, building, or sports field used for recreational purposes under the jurisdiction of the State or a unit of local government.
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New York - Proposed
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https://assembly.state.ny.us/leg/?default_fld=&bn=S01972&term=2023&Summary=Y&Actions=Y&Text=Y&Committee%26nbspVotes=Y&Floor%26nbspVotes=Y#S01972
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Allows a district attorney to file a petition to seek the imposition of residency restrictions for certain sex offenders; allows a sex offender subject to a residency restriction to petition the court which imposed such restriction for an order terminating or modifying such residency restriction.
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New York - Introduced
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https://assembly.state.ny.us/leg/?default_fld=&bn=A09953&term=2023&Summary=Y&Actions=Y&Text=Y&Committee%26nbspVotes=Y&Floor%26nbspVotes=Y#A09953
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Prohibits level 2 and 3 sex offenders from residing within 1,500 feet of their victim or school grounds; prohibits such offenders from attending or participating in school sponsored activities
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Mississippi - Passed - waiting on Governor to sign
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https://billstatus.ls.state.ms.us/documents/2024/html/SB/2400-2499/SB2448IN.htm
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Eliminates possibility of parole for SO's over 19 years of age
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New York - Introduced
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https://assembly.state.ny.us/leg/?default_fld=&bn=S03002&term=2023&Summary=Y&Actions=Y&Text=Y&Committee%26nbspVotes=Y&Floor%26nbspVotes=Y#S03002
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Requires nonresident visitor sex offenders and registered sex offenders register when temporarily residing within the state; requires short-term rental hosts and short-term rental hosting platforms inform nearby property owners when nonresident visitor sex offenders and registered sex offenders are staying in the unit.
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New Jersey - Introduced
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https://pub.njleg.gov/Bills/2024/A3000/2572_I1.HTM
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Prohibits sex offenders from distributing candy or other items to children on Halloween.
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South Dakota - PASSED & ENACTED
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https://mylrc.sdlegislature.gov/api/Documents/257768.pdf
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Changes eligibility for Tier 1 offender to apply for removal from 5 years to 10 years
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Indiana - Proposed
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https://iga.in.gov/pdf-documents/123/2024/senate/bills/SB0151/SB0151.01.INTR.pdf
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Allows the prosecution of Level 3 felony rape and child molesting offenses to be commenced at any time. (No more statute of limitations)
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Indiana - Introduced
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https://iga.in.gov/pdf-documents/123/2024/house/bills/HB1307/HB1307.01.INTR.pdf
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Specifies that a person required to register as a sex offender in another jurisdiction who moves to Indiana is required to register for life in Indiana. Prohibits a serious sex offender from entering a public park while a child is present, makes a violation a Class A misdemeanor, and increases the penalty to a Level 6 felony for a subsequent offense.
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Lousiana - Proposed
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https://www.legis.la.gov/Legis/ViewDocument.aspx?d=1352820
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Provides for surgical castration of persons convicted of certain crimes when the victim is under the age of thirteen.
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Utah - PASSED/SIGNED takes effect 5/1/2024
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If you live in Utah you really need to read this one, it adds a LOT of information to the public registry website.
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https://le.utah.gov/~2024/bills/sbillint/SB0011.pdf
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Oklahoma - Introduced
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http://webserver1.lsb.state.ok.us/cf_pdf/2023-24%20INT/SB/SB1890%20INT.PDF
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Forbids anyone ever convicted of a SO from having any contact with anyone under 18, including their own children, unless their records have been expunged. It makes registration for some crimes that were not previously registerable retroactive to 2020. Makes the court unable to allow someone convicted of a SO to forgo registration
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Washington - Introducted
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https://lawfilesext.leg.wa.gov/biennium/2023-24/Pdf/Bills/House%20Bills/2178.pdf
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Creates a pathway off of lifetime probation for SO's
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1. Walang sandalan yung naupuan ko sa bus tapos yung katabi kong may sandalan naman, sa likod ko pa sumasandal. Medyo uncomfy pero did not 100% consider him as a creep, baka pagod lang siya. We all are.
   
2. Nasa bank ako for company errand. May nakasabay ako mag queue tapos tinabihan ako sa waiting area kahit ang daming vacant seats. Tingin siya nang tingin. Nung tinawag na siya sa front, he was only staring at me for the whole 15 min na pina-process yung request niya. Kahit pa tingnan ko siya, he does not break eye contact. Nakakatakot. I considered him 99.9% creepy guy. I was unable to think of any reason why u would stare at a person for that long, at hindi siya tulala. Minsan taas baba pa sa katawan. Talagang nakatitig. Scary.
   

For me, as a woman, it's really just a fight or flight response kapag may mga ganun. I would like to say sorry kung napagbintangan man namin kayong manyak kahit that wasn't the intention. Ang problema lang kasi, it came from history of many men molesting women, and we are bound to be scared of history repeating. I'm not sure when to know when it's dangerous or not. Maybe you can share your story, any gender is welcome.