Originally chronicled here.
I am not the OOP. OOP is u/Lost_Beginning_2824
This was originally posted in TrueOffMyChest
2 updates
(recovered via pushpull)
Original post - February 6th, 2024
1st Update - February 28th, 2024
2nd Update - March 8th, 2024
Trigger warning: mention of domestic violence situation
I’m married to a woman who acts like a teenage girl – February 6th, 2024
My wife behaves like a teenage girl and I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.
This is just a rant. Curious to know how many full grown adults behave the way my wife does. I’d say out of all of the adult women I know, like friends, relatives, wives of my friends, none of them behave this way unless they keep it a closely guarded secret.
Editing right here to add that my wife is in her 30s, for context.
My wife is always obsessed with somebody, a man or sometimes multiple men at one time. Usually there is one or two main focuses at a time. When I talk obsessed I mean obsessed like a teenage girl or maybe even preteen girl would be. I’ve seen pictures of her bedroom when she was that age and they were literally wallpapers in posters of her favorite guys. That’s totally normal for a 13 year old girl. She still behaves that way as a woman in her 30s. Granted, our bedroom walls aren’t wallpapered in posters but they probably would be if I allowed it.
Her obsessions have ranged from rock stars, actors, non-entertainment industry public figures. It’s like one day she hasn’t even heard of the guy in question and the next day she’s super fan #1 and knows just about everything there is to know about him. She will read and watch everything there is to watch about the man. She will bring him up in every conversation. She will adopt parts of him into her own personality. She will suggest things that make it clear to me that she wants me to adopt characteristics of these men as part of my appearance or personality. She will openly admit to me that she’s masturbated over the guy multiple times in one day.
When she finds a new man to obsess over, she puts the others in her little stable of men who she always has a place for in her heart and in her fantasies, so they never really go away. The new man just takes center stage and becomes the main focus of almost her entire life.
So the current obsession is so strange to me. Never saw this one coming, but leave it to her to always find somebody new to fall in love with. The intensity that she has during these periods - it’s honestly like she falls in love with these men.
I’m laughing so hard just typing this all. Her current obsession is Bret Hart, former pro wrestler. This woman had never watched wrestling before in her life. Always thought that stuff was below her. And now she’s obsessed with this former pro-wrestler. She watched one show about him, for reasons I’m not aware of, and I could tell almost instantly where it was headed. I thought “here we go…” So now the Bret Hart obsession is in full swing. Has she already dropped close to $1000 in vintage Bret Hart shirts on eBay? Of course. Bought all the stickers and magnets and all sorts of other stupid crap she can find? Yep. Does she send me Bret Hart YouTube clips all.day.long when she’s supposed to be working? Yes she does.
So, I better get to work brushing up on my Bret Hart knowledge and tag lines. This is the key to getting laid when it comes to her. I’m used to this by now. It’s just not something that I can easily explain to anyone I know.
I mean, there’s are things I’m a fan of, but she is next level. I can’t think of anyone I know who is her age and acts like this. She was voted most likely to grow up and become a groupie when she was in high school, so this is absolutely nothing new for her. Sigh.
Many are lighthearted in the comments
plastic_Schedule_891
I mean he's the best there is, was and ever will be so that one makes sense at least .
You don’t think I’m hearing that 10 times a day now?
I better start planning that trip to Calgary.
Limerence is mentioned
poopchutethemoon
Yeah my bouts of limerence have been with people I’ve dated but reading that made me realize that I was very much being obsessive and it was totally all consuming. Glad it’s over honestly. Those feelings are exhausting.
Very interesting to hear you say the feelings are exhausting. It’s like a full time job for my wife, so I could see that. She told me she’s at work with her door closed pretending to be working, but she’s really watching Bret Hart videos on YouTube. She can’t even focus on her job.
OOP reveals more of the life he’s signed up for in the comments
get-bread-not-head
You've pretended to act like other men for 20 years?!
Damn dude, I hope you're finding ways to accept it and cope. That sounds rough, having to be someone else to have sex... stay strong king
Nah, I just learn their catchphrases or gain some deep fan knowledge that’ll impress her or maybe perfect a vocal impersonation of them that I can drop at the opportune time. The vocal impersonations work the best as far as making her like me and being like “ok, wanna have sex now?”
another_canoe
But what do you guys actually share *together*? That's not related to the obsession of the season? (I'm not going to even bother asking if she's tried to learn about any of your hobbies/interests).
NGL, this is all pretty grim to me, my man....and I'm someone who loves having a partner who is passionate about things and nerds out.
I fear that you've spent so long with her infatuations steamrolling over your own interests and preferences that you have convinced yourself that getting attention-by-proxy as your main source of validation from your SPOUSE is a healthy way to live.
If I told you that I was big into anime and Japanese RPGs and the only way I get interested in doing it with my actual wife is if she adopts the catch phrases /personality characteristics of my latest "waifu", would you feel some concern for my wife's mental health?
I'm also wondering about this spending....
She’s pretty dismissive of my interests and hobbies. I’ve told her I’d like her to try to pretend to show a little more interest sometimes. I make an effort to show real interest in her stuff and she does not do the same. I’m very into music and I do geek out over guitars and gear and things like that and she couldn’t tell you anything about any of the guitars I own other than “he has a blue one, he has a red one. “ We do love some of the same bands. Of course she wants to fuck the band members and I just want to talk about the chord progression on my favorite guitar tracks, but it’s close enough. We like a lot of the same movies and that sort of thing. We have the same sense of humor and can keep each other laughing for ages. We have a lot of the same views on life and on the world in general.
I don’t know, we just get each other I guess.
I would be concerned about the waifu thing, but I guess in my case she always likes guys who I think are pretty cool anyway. She has good taste, at least. If she has to be obsessing over some other guy constantly at least she does it over guys I can respect on some level.
Regarding the spending, I spend way more than she does. Only difference is it’s not usually fan merch I’m buying. But she tolerate my spending when it comes to stuff like guitar gear. She rolls her eyes and reprimands me but she tolerates it and just knows I won’t stop. I’m the same when it comes to her fan stuff. I get it, she wants the vintage 1993 Bret Hart shirt that costs hundreds…not a modern shirt that just anyone could go online and buy for $25 right now. She wants the cool, rare stuff. I’m the same with my guitars so I guess it’s like we understand each other in some way. I think it’s weird to become a fan of somebody and 2 days later drop thousands on them though. At least my money pit is consistent.
I think we both feel like we’re the only person who will semi understand and tolerate all of this stuff from each other
Not included here, but in several comments, OOP definitely brings up his wife’s looks as a positive in the relationship and he finds her antics at times amusing or even attractive.
1st Update - February 28th, 2024
I recently wrote about my wife suddenly discovering former pro-wrestler Bret “The Hitman” Hart one day after never even knowing of his existence, experienced love at first site, and is now even deeper than love with him then she was a month ago.
Tonight, I experienced a good hour of her sobbing, literal sobs, after watching the Bret Hart A&E biography. “I just love him so much. I love him with all my heart. I don’t want any more bad things to happen to him. Also, I’m very jealous he’s not my husband.”
She also went from not wanting any kids to suddenly wanting a baby so she can name it Bret (a girl or a boy, doesn’t matter…they will be named Bret). And she almost had me convinced, but I blame that on the heat of the moment.
She’s bought all sorts of clothes just like his. My wife now dresses like Bret Hart in and outside of the ring.
The past few days she’s been acting really annoyed with me. Finally I’m like “Wtf am I doing wrong?” I bought you Bret Hart stuff for your birthday! I call you Mrs. Bret Hart now, even though you’re my wife. I even sent you flowers at work from Bret. I mean that was supposed to get me points because she knew they were from me and I was playing into her obsession which she’s now apparently shared with everyone she works with. They’ve bought her a giant Bret Hart wall decal for her office.
Ok, so I did forget our anniversary which was very recently. Totally forgot it. Then again, so did she. She was too busy masturbating over Bret Hart to remember our wedding anniversary. I mean bad husband points for me obviously but all the birthday gifts had to have made up for it. I mean, I even ordered a Bret Hart birthday banner and got her a Bret Hart themed birthday cake as if she were a 7 year old boy in the year 1994.
So why is she acting so annoyed lately? Why does she act like she hates me and can’t stand to even be in the same room as me? She finally admits…I’m not Bret Hart. None of her obsession have ever been this bad. She’s seriously threatening me with divorce now because I’m not Bret Hart! She “just wants a guy like that.” She had to go walk the dog today and cry over it, how much she hates me and wishes she was married to Bret Hart. Oh fuck me you want a guy like your dad because that’s what Bret Hart is like…exactly like her dad, the same look, the same hair, the same damn age.
I told her I think she should get checked out for autism or some other sort of disorder. Her obsessions have never been this bad. She should make an appointment now because the waitlist is long. She just laughed. There’s nothing wrong with her. She just has different taste in men now, according to her.
Some comments
psychick
Therapist here - she needs to see a psychiatrist. This is mental illness to the extreme. Either she goes, or you leave. This is ultimatum territory. And, stop giving into her obsession. It makes it worse.
nualt42
Man, when she threatens divorce, take it. Jump at the chance.
Hell, sit, be a good boy and offer your fucking paw if that’s what it takes to get treated to an exit strategy. Don’t worry about dignity, sounds like you gave that up a long time ago.
She’s even looked up the divorce process for where we live and says we can be amicable about everything. She assures me she’s not looking to take any thing that is rightfully mine. She just wants a clean break.
Sophie3546
I’m surprised he even lasted this long. Calling her “Ms. Bret Hart” …..I can’t even fathom.
Excuse me, it’s MRS Bret Hart, not Ms.
NEW UPDATE - March 8th, 2024
Hi, you might remember me as the guy whose wife was obsessed with JFK (35th President of the United States), then experienced a world wind romance with former WWF pro-wrestler Bret Hart (the best there is, the best there was, and the best there ever will be), but now she’s met a new man. I thought the Bret Hart obsession was the worst one yet. Never has she threatened divorce or told me she hated me because I wasn’t the object of her desire. Luckily, that was a relatively quick love affair for her. 3-4 months is a short run for her and one of her men. But I should be careful what I wish for.
This new one is the first time I’ve felt that I should maybe, just possibly, feel legitimately scared. Her newly developing obsession is Patrick Bateman. Yep, the character from American Psycho. Specifically, the movie version played by Christian Bale.
It’s not like she’s just met the guy. She’s seen the movie before but it doesn’t appear that they hit it off initially. Now, she’s suddenly started making constant reference to him. Bret is gone and now it’s just Patrick Bateman and maniacal laughter and purchasing all of the items in his skin care routine. I’d like to see her do 1000 crunches though. That’ll be the day.
She has always admitted to living the 80s preppy/yuppie look. She loves assholes. Assholes are a weakness for her. Psychopaths? Hmm…that’s a new one, unless you count the time she was in love with the Menendez Brothers years ago. God, the pastel Ralph Lauren sweaters she used to try to make me wear. Pastels are just not my shades.
Now, there was a time many years ago where I did have to hide all the knives in our home. I was legitimately scared that she was going to murder me. I forget what she was upset about now. I am, after all, her type - an asshole. I did something that bothered her and she ran for the knives. I had to hide them and then lock myself in a bedroom because she was literally chasing me. That was before she decided that she’d be the female Patrick Bateman. Granted, she says “only mean in the looks and snob department-nothing else.”
She’s trying to determine what the female equivalent to a Patrick Bateman hairstyle would be right now. I’m just worried about the bank account with this obsession. The amount she’ll spend on business cards alone.
Comments
lemonade_sparkle
Your wife is severely mentally ill, and needs help quickly.
Is there no chance of persuading her to get help?
If not, what preparations have you made to leave her?
I’m a strange way, I think these obsessions are what keep her sane.
Her getting help is funny though. It’s not going to happen. Sure I’ve tried to persuade her to see a therapist but she just won’t.
ctIaTErA
I probably shouldn’t be laughing as hard as I am right now. This is truly bizarre. Does she narrate her morning routine in the mirror each day now?
But in all seriousness, she’s chased you with a knife? Thats far more concerning than any of the obsessions with these men, and yes I did read the post about the wrestler. I thought it was just very quirky behavior before, but she seems truly unhinged now.
It was years ago. Like 10+ years ago. I’m much stronger than her so it’s not hard to hold her down if need be.
I AM NOT OOP
NO BRIGADING, NO HARASSMENT

3.4. Mahishasaka or Sarvāstivādis

[wisdomlib.org:] [Mahishasaka had the doctrines] similar to those of the Mahasanghika. [Mahishasaka] denied reality to past and future, but maintained the reality of the present. Similarly, the school rejected the doctrine of the void and the non ego, the production of taint by the Five consciousness, the theory of nine kinds of non activity, and so on. They held that enlightenment came suddenly rathern than gradually.

Mahasamghika split from the Sthaviravāda (Theravada or Dhamma-Vinaya) and produced many schools.

According to the Theravādin Dīpavaṃsa, the Sarvāstivādins emerged from the older Mahīśāsaka school, but the Śāriputraparipṛcchā and the Samayabhedoparacanacakra state that the Mahīśāsaka emerged from the Sarvāstivāda. [Sarvastivada (wiki)]

Some Vajjian monks, who were possibly the followers of Devadatta, established the Mahasamghika after the schism after rejecting ten Vinaya rules. Like a few other monks, a Vajjian monk complained about the Vinaya rules. The story is recorded in Vajjiputta Sutta, which was utilised to support an argument that the Dhamma-Vinaya tradition added new rules. Indeed, the Buddha, the founder of the Dhamma-Vinaya Sasana, added new rules as required. However, before His passing He let the monks remove the minor rules, but the monks kept all the 227 rules. Only some Vajjian monks once again attempted to remove ten rules and split the Sangha after their attempt failed. These rebel monks founded many schools that united into Mahayana. The Sarvāstivādis wrote many famous Mahayanist scriptures.

Gandhāran Mahīśāsakas are associated with the Pure Land teachings of Amitābha Buddha. [Seated Buddha Amitabha statue.jpg (wiki)]

• Mādhyamika Also known as: Śūnyavāda, Shunyavada, Encyclopaedia Britannica
• Sarvastivada Also known as: Sarvastivadin, Vaibhashika, Encyclopaedia Britannica

Mahāsaṅghikās revised the Dhamma and Vinaya in their own way. The revised collections were known as Ācariyavāda as distinguished from the Theravāda of the First Buddhist Council. Dīpavaṃsa says, that the Mahāsaṅghikās did not stop after changing the Vinaya rules. They went further by laying down for themselves new doctrines contrary to the established ones. They recited for their purposes the sūtras and Vinaya, they made alterations in the texts and their arrangements and interpretations.
There are four kinds of teachings, that can be accepted as the Buddha's words – sutta, suttānuloma, ācariyavāda, attanomati. In Parinibbāna Sutta there are other four kinds of teaching – Buddhāpadesa, Saṅghāpadesa, Sambahulattherāpadesa, Ekattherāpadesa. They are not contradicting each other.
They also replaced portions of the text by others according to their liking and even rejected certain parts of the canon though they have been accepted according to the tradition of Mahā Kassapa's council. They refused Parivāra and Abhidhamma Pakaraṇa, Paṭisambhidā, Niddesa and Jātaka.
Mahāsaṅghikās divided their canon into five parts: 1. Sūtra, 2. Vinaya, 3. Abhidhamma, 4. Miscellaneous, 5. Dhāranīs. [ Notes from BPU Sri Lanka - Third Year ]

According to Sibani Barman in Dipavamsa (study): Chapter 2d - The Third Buddhist Council,

the Vibhajjavādins claim that their theories and Canon are same as the original Sthaviras (the elders).

• But that statement is untruthful. Kaccānagotta Sutta is a living proof. This is explained in 3.3.

Sarvāstivādis Doctrines

[David Bastow. The first argument for Sarvastivada. Asian Philosophy Vol. 5 No. 2 Oct.1995 Pp.109-125 Copyright by Asian Philosophy]

[Bastow:] The argument is two-fold: that past states of mind can be directly perceived; and that the temporal and causal context of these states of mind, including their karmic future and the possibility of an alternative saving future, can also be directly perceived.

In demonstrating their belief, the Sarvāstivādis attacked, the Venerable Maugdalyayana in the Maugdalyayana-skandhaka, the first chapter of the Vijnanakaya (200 BCE?):

[Bastow:] The sramana Maugdalyayana says: The past and the future do not exist; the present and the unconditioned (asainskrta) exist.

• Atacked: Singled out a thera, ignored the Buddha, and attacked the Dhamma;
• The Venerable Maugdalyayana represents the Sakyamuni Buddha.
• The past is memory, not the present dhamma. The past as memory is perceived, not lived nor imagined. The past as perceived is not lived, but it was lived, so it can be perceived.
• The future is yet to be lived, so it cannot be perceived, but it can be planned, expected and imagined.

[Bastow:] Section 1: [The Sarvāstivādis argued based on] probably Anguttara Nikaya III section 69 (i.e. A i 201-3). "There are three akusala-mulani (roots of ill, roots leading to bad consequences). These are lobha, greed; dvesa, anger; and moha, confusion." From this agreed premise the argument proceeds, first taking the case of lobha. There is no doubt then that there has been, is, will be a seeing that lobha is akusala (otherwise translated: a seeing of akusala--presumably meaning akusala-dharmas--in or through lobha). The lobha that is thus seen--is it past, present or future? If it is past or future, then it must be admitted that past or future exist. So could it be present?

• Lobha (greed) which existed in the past does not exist now, nor will exist in the future. When the object that caused that state of mind dimished, that greed also dimished. For example, one ate a certain food with greed. After eating it, greed was replaced by another state of mind, sleepiness, which was about sleeping and delusion. Sleepiness is different from craving for food. One does not get sleepy for food.
• If the same greed were to exist until now, one must be greedy the same way one was greedy for that food. Then one must not have different states of mind, anger and delusion.
• Greed cannot liberate anyone from anger and delusion.
• If that greed and all other greed must exist right now, greed must be accumulating and becoming too much to handle.
• And there were times of anger and delusion.
• Can anyone proove they are suffering from all the greed, anger and delusion which they had in the past?

[Bastow:] To allow this would involve admitting that there are in one pudgala two simultaneous cittas, states of consciousness; but this cannot be admitted. However, there must be seeing of either past lobha, or future lobha, or present lobha; otherwise it could not be that someone sees that lobha, akusalamula, is akusala. And in that case it would not happen that someone becomes repelled by lobha, detached, freed from lobha, obtains nirvana (or has obtained or will obtain nirvana).

• Hetu paccaya (root condition)
• Root (anusaya) exists but not as a plant (lobha).

[Anusaya Sutta:] its root destroyed, made like a palmyra stump, deprived of the conditions of development, not destined for future arising; [Thanissaro Bhikkhu] [Anusaya] are identified or associated with kleśa, paryavasthāna, and āsrava, and they are the ‘root’ of bhava [Dr. Ari Ubeysekara:] The seventh and the last of the latent tendencies is [obsession with ignorance (avijjanusaya)] which can be considered as the root cause of all unwholesome actions.

• Root (obsession) of greed is not greed.
• Nibbana is realised by exhausting the past kamma committed based on greed, anger and delusion.
• Anusaya Sutta: Obsessions (1): the seven obsessions

[Bastow:] The same argument is then applied to other things that can be seen with respect to lobha: it can be seen that lobha is a fetter, a bondage, an anusaya; and further that lobha is to be rejected, to be left behind, to be abandoned, to be fully known (prajna).

• Sarvāstivādis knew about anusaya, but they might not understand it as explained by the Sakyamuni Buddha.
• Lobha comes into being when consciousness comes to contact with a sight, sound, smell, taste, touch or thought of an object/subject that is alluring.
• Dosa comes into being when consciousness comes to contact with a sight, sound, smell, taste, touch or thought of an object/subject that is agitating/annoying.
• Moha comes into being when consciousness comes to contact with a sight, sound, smell, taste, touch or thought of an object/subject that is difficult, mysterious, deluding...
• Lobha, dosa, and moha cannot exist at the same moment of consciousness, nor unconscious-ness.
• Lobha, dosa, and moha are cetasika.
• Citta and cetasika need each other's support to stand like the two sheaves of reeds.
• Lobha, dosa, and moha cannot be abandoned, but they must be eradicated by digging out the roots.

Devadaha Sutta (2)

[SN 22:2 Venerable Sāriputta explained to a large number of monks:] ‘When one is not free from passion, desire, love, thirst, fever, & craving for [rūpa], then from any change & alteration in that [rūpa], there arises sorrow, lamentation, pain, grief, & despair. When one is not free from passion… for feeling… for perception… for fabrications… & despair. When one is not free from passion, desire, love, thirst, fever, & craving for consciousness... & despair. Seeing this danger, our teacher teaches the subduing of passion & desire for [rūpa]… for feeling… for perception… for fabrications. Seeing this danger our teacher teaches the subduing of passion & desire for consciousness.’

A History of Indian Philosophy Volume 1

by Surendranath Dasgupta 1922 212,082 words ISBN-13: 9788120804081
Quoting Vasumitra (100 A.D.), Surendranath Dasgupta presents three major Mahayanist groups as doctrinally not very different, and the Hindu authors ignored their (minor) differences.

1. Mahāsaṅghikas: the body was filled with mind {citta) which was represented as sitting,
2. Prajñaptivādins: no agent in man, no untimely death, for it was caused by the previous deeds of man,
3. Sarvāstivādins believed that everything existed.

We can observe how all these doctrines are presented in the earliest Mahayanist sutras, particularly the Mahāprajñāpāramitāśāstra, the Prajñāpāramitāhṛdayasūtra, the Lankavatara Sutra, Saddharma Pundarika Sutra (the Lotus Sutra).

the Prajñaptivādins had inaugurated the Śūnyavāda by drawing up a list of ten emptinesses. In the Mahāvibhāṣā [...] we read [...] there are many śūnyatās [...] Were the Prajñaptivādins the inventors of these ten śūnyatās or were they borrowed from the Mahāyānists? [II. Emptiness in the Hinayānist sects]

Gelongma Karma Migme Chödrön asks that question. The Hindu writers seem to have the answer:

[Dasgupta] When the Hindu writers refer to the Buddhist doctrine in general terms such as “the Buddhists say” without calling them the Vijñānavādins or the Yogācāras and the Śūnyavādins, they often refer to the Sarvāstivādins by which they mean both the Sautrāntikas and the Vaibhāṣikas, ignoring the difference that exists between these two schools.

Nāgārjuna did not consider the Prajñaptivādins as Mahayanists. Mahayana did not exist when the Mahāsaṅghikas was formed after the second schism (Devadatta's schism was the first), so they are considered as Sthaviravādis, who produced Prajñaptivādins and Sarvāstivādins. By AD 5th-6th, Bodhidharma arrived to China, and according to him, Mahayana was well-established as the Yogacara school, which adopted the Lankavatara Sutra.

Bodhidharma was believed to have introduced the Lankavatara Sutra to Chinese Buddhism. This sutra was a development of the Yogacara (“Mind-only”) school of Buddhism established by the great masters Asanga and Vasubandhu, and Bodhidharma is described as a “master of the Lankavatara Sutra”. [ Bodhidharma – the founder of Gongfu (Tsem Rinpoche and Pastor Adeline)]

The authors of the Lankavatara were the Sarvāstivādins.

[Bodhidharma:] the only reason I’ve come to China is to transmit the instantaneous teaching of the Mahayana This mind is the Buddha. (Bloodstream Sermon)
[Bodhidharma:] "This nature is the mind. And the mind is the buddha."
[Lanka:] this triple world is nothing but a complex manifestation of one’s mental activities."

Bodhidharma, known as an expert in the ten-stage sutra, was a zen master, from the Yogacara school. He did not know vipassana, as he condemned arhats. He was clearly a follower of Mahadeva, who authored the five points downgrading the arhats.

[Bodhidharma:] Among Shakyamuni’s ten greatest disciples, Ananda was foremost in learning. But he didn’t know the Buddha. All he did was study and memorize. Arhats don’t know the Buddha...

Bodhidharma did not know the meaning of arhat. Nāgārjuna defines arhat in Mahāprajñāpāramitāśāstra as follow:
[quote]
1. Ara means enemy (ari) and hat means to kill (han). The expression therefore means “killer of enemies”.^\1]) Some stanzas say:

The Buddha has patience (kṣānti) as his armor (varman), Energy (vīrya) as his helmet (śīrṣaka),
Discipline (śīla) as his great steed (mahāśva),
Dhyāna as his bow (dhanus),
Wisdom (prajñā) as his arrows (śara).
Outwardly, he destroys the army of [Māra] (https://www.wisdomlib.org/definition/mara#mahayana) (*mārasena*).
Inwardly, he destroys the passions (kleśa), his enemies.
He is called Arhat.

1. Furthermore, A marks negation and rahat means ‘to be born’. The expression means, therefore, “unborn”. The seeds (bīja) of the mind of the Buddha (buddhacitta) ‘do not arise’ in the field of rebirths (punarbhavakṣetra), for ignorance (avidyā) in him has been dissolved.

[end quote] Nevertheless, the Flower Sermon, which was composed in 1036 states that Mahayana comes from Kashyapa, whom Bodhidharma mentions in the Bloodstream Sermon. Based on Bodhidharma's attitude to the arhats, that Kashyapa could not be the Venerable Mahakassapa, the father of the Sangha who established the Theravada. However, that Kashapa appears in the Lankavatara Sutra:

Kashyapa (fl. 400 B.C.) . Also known as Uruvilva Kashyapa or Mahakashyapa, he was the eldest of the three Kashyapa brothers and among the Buddha’s earliest disciples. He was also India’s First Patriarch of Zen. [Lankavatara Sutra: Glossary. Page 458]

The Mahayanists expect they could become Buddhas by following these individuals.

The Flower Sermon (1036 AD) : the Buddha gathered his disciples together for a talk on Dharma. Instead of speaking, however, the Buddha simply held up a lotus flower in front of him without saying a word. “I possess the true Dharma eye, the marvelous mind of Nirvāṇa, the true form of the formless, the subtle Dharma gate that does not rest on words or letters but is a special transmission outside of the scriptures. This I entrust to Mahakasyapa.”

Reddit Account: u/deepbeepbeep
Discord Tag: spicybadgercurry
Name and House: Emmon Flowers (bastard of Holyhall)
Age: 26
Cultural Group: Primarily Andal descent, Reachman
Appearance: Inclined to being a little plump, with chestnut colored hair and hazel eyes. Plainer than most singers in dress and appearance, favoring brown and white over more gaudy colors.
Trait: Erudite
Skill(s): Investigator, Espionage, Scholar, Scribe, Ravenmaster
Talent(s): Lute player, good singing voice
Negative Trait(s):
Starting Title(s): Bastard of Holyhall, the Maid of Holyhall (derogatory)
Starting Location: Opening Event
Alternate Characters: Yes (see below)
Name and House: Jocelyn Graceford
Age: 25
Cultural Group: Primarily Andal descent, Reachman
Appearance: Was mauled by a hunting dog when she was young, ruining her face and any chances of a decent marriage. Has deep brown eyes, and hair like a raven’s wing – though for the most part, Jocelyn wears a dark veil over her face, hiding the bulk of the damage.
Trait: Insidious
Skill(s): Covert, Rumormonger, Devious
Talent(s): Chronicler, poet, embroiderer
Negative Trait(s):
Starting Title(s): Hermit of Holyhall, Hag of Holyhall (derogatory)
Starting Location: Opening Event
Biographies
Emmon Flowers:
Born just a year prior to the Conquest, Emmon is the product of his father (also named Emmon), who was the sickly heir to Holyhall at the time, and Septa Ynys, who had arrived with Lord Willem (Emmon Graceford’s father)’s second wife, Rhea Merryweather, as an attendant. Septa Ynys gave birth to Emmon Flowers after his father’s death from disease. Emmon Sr. had been aware of his child’s coming, and was hoping to live long enough to meet the child he never believed he would have – though that wouldn’t be the case.
Septa Ynys was called back to do penance for the sin of Emmon Flowers, and Emmon himself was taken to be raised by septons so that he might also do penance for the sin of existing – by becoming a septon himself. Lord Willem, who outlived his son and was hoping to have more children by his second wife, was glad of the disposal of an inconvenient bastard – the resemblance of the infant to his father at that age was more hurtful than gratifying.
Emmon learned music and scholarship (religious and otherwise) with the septons, but was known for being a bit too inquisitive and curious for his own good, despite being otherwise pliant and eager to please. Brief talk was made of sending him to the Maesters, but the Faith believed that Emmon was what was owed to them – after all, he had been born of the Faith.
When he was sixteen, Emmon finally retaliated against another bullying novice – landing one punch on the other boy. Unfortunately, the other boy was slightly more martial, and Emmon came out the worse of the two in the fight. Something about this particular incident, however, convinced the septons that Emmon was more trouble than he was worth – perhaps it was the straw that broke the stallion’s back, amongst all the inconvenient questions Emmon would raise. Either way, Emmon was sent back to Holyhall.
Lord Willem was still alive at the time, but by then had only had a daughter, Jocelyn, by his second wife, the Lady Rhea. He took in Emmon purely to avoid the scandal that would have arisen by having the bastard of Holyhall out on the street, and gave him no other kindness but this.
Emmon spent his time playing music as the resident musician at Holyhall, which gave him at least some purpose, and assisted the Maester with the tending of ravens.
When Emmon was twenty, Lord Willem died suddenly – and the only child that remained was Jocelyn, who had always been kind to Emmon, but who had a talent for intrigue that frightened Emmon to an extent. He saw it coming that he would become part of her machinations, but had no real way of stopping it. At least he would be able to continue his music and studies. At least there would be that.
Timeline
1 BC – Emmon Flowers is born, Emmon Graceford dies. Septa Ynys is sent away to do penance, Emmon is given to septons.
15 AC – Emmon sent in disgrace back to Holyhall
20 AC – Death of Lord Willem Graceford. Ascension of Jocelyn Graceford, Lady of Holyhall
23 AC – Emmon sent to King’s Landing to serve as a singer and the eyes and ears of his aunt
Jocelyn Graceford
Jocelyn was born to the second wife of Willem Graceford and was the only child of this marriage to survive to adulthood – though that very nearly didn’t happen. Jocelyn was badly disfigured by a hunting dog when she was seven years old, and despite treatments by a maester, was ultimately disfigured. Thankfully, she had been able to keep her eyes and tongue. After this, her father abandoned his hopes of arranging a suitable betrothal for her.
Lord Willem had hoped to have a son and heir by his new wife to replace his deceased first heir, but unfortunately, only Jocelyn survived. Rhea Merryweather tried to give her husband a new son and heir, but her multiple pregnancies after Jocelyn only resulted in stillbirths or children who, to the despair of their parents, died in the cradle days after birth.
After his wife finally expired in childbed when Jocelyn was nineteen, Willem was quickly making plans to take a new wife, only to die suddenly and unexpectedly, leaving Jocelyn the Lady of Holyhall.
There are rumors Jocelyn poisoned her father, to prevent him from creating a new heir and sending her to the silent sisters. She denies these rumors.
Because of her disfigurement, Jocelyn tends to not leave Holyhall unless there is great cause for it, or if she cares for those she visits, such as family at Longtable. She wears a long dark veil over her face, to hide the bulk of the damage, and even at Holyhall, only her Maester has seen underneath the veil.
Jocelyn, despite her isolation and lack of marriage prospects, however, is interested in keeping informed, even from her seat in the Reach, and has utilized her nephew to this end.
1 AC – Conquest. Also, Jocelyn was born.
8 AC – The Hound Incident
20 AC – Death of Jocelyn’s mother, Rhea Merryweather. Later in the year, the death of Willem Graceford, Lord of Holyhall.
23 AC – Sent Emmon to King’s Landing.
Family tree: https://www.familyecho.com/?p=RC8O6&c=gwmdyzwnxei4x1xa&f=359849491848085097

I am sitting in one of the disused but quite beautiful parts of the neighborhood, waiting for it to rain.
The rain has already come and gone, a light rain that left traces of dampness on the pavement – the shade of the spring day darkens, becomes real, which is a comfort because that realness, that feeling of extra substance, comes from the water cycle working the way it's supposed to.
I feel it around my nostrils, on the cheeks of my face near the eyes, like I'm a frog looking up from its pond water, which is a pleasant feeling to sashay around town with. This is the spring we all know, the moisture appearing on my skin after drifting miles above the earth ten minutes earlier –
an epic plunge is what we are walking through, but it's already rising again, and let's face it – we live in a cook pot set on media, I mean medium – medium is the setting on the cook pot, which notice is more than a crock. From the frog’s point of view, it is ideal.
From our point of view, standing in the chop of the water cycle, we are soaring in the air – then minutes from now, we might be walking in the clouds, and who knows after that, but this is the context for comings and goings this mid-afternoon – this potential for levitation.
I find a broad and elegant tree stump to sit on and record the concrete. Someday we'll all have concrete recorders but today, we just have me.
The stumps are not indigenous to the property, at least I don't think so, but I'm not exactly sure why I don't think that, given that the facility that occupies the block was once probably a forest with abundant marshy places. The forest went, then some infrastructural evolution played out that upcycled into a world-class performing arts center.
Given that my art, before it is anything, is performative – watch the monkey paint words with a stick – I'm hand-in-glove with the performance of the plaza.
I am sitting in a grove of tree stumps, which automatically brings to mind entropy – we all will die someday, become handsome all-weather furniture that slowly disintegrates – but then the overwhelming pleasantness of the day causes the thought to move on, and the stumps become a moment in time that is also a cross-section of full biography, which is quite a thing to be sitting on, waiting for the rain.
The forecast, which I predict would be one of the more impressive modern achievements to the humans who lived through the ice age – just an opinion – the forecast –
I picture ice-age human faces in stunned wonder as weather prediction after weather prediction comes true. The forecast
says there is a one-hundred percent chance of rain later this afternoon, time precise to the quarter hour, but with Doppler weather radar, one can make one's own data-driven prediction about when the rain will start to the nearest few minutes.
Someday we'll wear watches that are nothing but countdown clocks ’til the next time the forecast calls for rain – when the clock reaches the nearest minute, it switches to seconds.
This broad, elegant stump I'm sitting on sets on a bed of gravel which, when it rains, can convince me it is river gravel – pick up a few of the rounded stones, give them a close look for evidence of the past. I briefly imagine
finding the remains of a sauropod, each piece of gravel containing a tiny piece of a single sauropod, which together add up to the most complete sauropod skeleton yet discovered.
The stump is all take and no give, and yet I think I prefer it to popping open a lawn chair – the imperviousness of the stump being conducive to recording the concrete.
My backside is about eighty-years wide, which is older than my age, which inspires thoughts about backing into predestination, at least where just sitting around on a fine spring day is concerned. Like a bump on a log in a way, and let's face it – the concrete doesn't get much more concrete than that. A splashing sound
comes from the page. I scan the paper like it’s the sky, and I'm waiting for an aerial firework to open, then I find the spot of rain splashed across the phrase think so – think so, is the phrase – which is followed by a second raindrop, this one hitting the word water, causing the ink to run a little.
A one-hundred percent chance – does that even make sense? I picture a barrel of rain, rolling across the plains. Perhaps we should feel lucky for being visited by such a probability – possibly years before it rolls around again.
Rain will undoubtedly fall at this time, we say to our ice-age guests, and they will hold up the one hand like it's rain, hold up the other like it's time, weigh the two sides side-by-side maybe, maybe invent that gesture where the dancer holds both palms above their heads, lifts them up and down like they're raising the roof.
Still, I'm not sure they'll really understand all those computer models, hypotheses wrapping themselves around big-data projects involving sensors and rain gauges deployed across the land, starting centuries ago. Science raised the roof, we might say, at least as far as weather prediction is concerned.
I sense the rain not exactly letting up, retreat to the interior of the performing arts center after taking a few notes.
Along part of the gravel is a long puddle of water from the overnight rain, and I would need but a few fish bones or raccoon tracks to believe the whole thing was situated beside a river, the sort of gravel bed surging with snow melt earlier in the season.
This being the Midwest, higher elevations are usually metaphorical, metaphorical before they are anything else, and I think about the campus surging with graduates this past weekend, the landscape of human potential, in all directions, inundated by them.
Inside now, I see a balloon bouquet along one wall of the concourse, with gold Mylar affirmation – The Best Is Yet to Come! – floating on the end of a ribbon.
A one-hundred percent chance of rain – imagine telling all those graduates, you have a one-hundred percent chance of finding love within a fortnight. Call it a graduation gift, then imagine all those rain gauges quivering in their brackets at the thought of measurements certain to be made, collated, used to improve the algorithms that animate the global gods of rain.
At the far end of the concourse, a lady is teaching a gentleman how to dance – they aren’t touching, aren’t even facing each other – side-by-side – and I hear her call out the moves, move-by-move.
Maybe he’s an actor and she’s going over a certain bit of choreography for an upcoming production. Maybe he’s a restless spirit, and she’s teaching him the art of haunting.
That ghost forest in the gravel outside is adjacent to one of the busiest intersections on campus, and yet, turn your back to it, and it becomes just another element in the stopping and starting of the cosmos.
I could see to either end of the block from that broad, elegant tree stump I was sitting on without really being seen from the street which, along with a lush stand of grass in a nearby raised garden bed, brings to mind the wide-open prairie from centuries past.
I picture deer bounding over golden rod. I picture foxes negotiating cone flowers.
The interior of the performing arts center is designed around the premise of potential – four theaters in league with the cardinal directions, plus a blindingly white amphitheater and a low stage in the concourse itself, where they hand out complimentary spliffs and pass around community bongs during free upbeat life-affirming musical programs, attended by folks after the workday is over, plus a helping of retirees.
Okay, not grass but alcohol, but you get the point – people enjoy shindigs now and then. The lady and gentleman are out of sight, but she’s still giving direction – I can hear their back and forth somewhere around the curve in the wall,
which might stand for the passing of time. I imagine myself performing the pasodoble – no, I take it back. I imagine myself performing the pasodoble – no, I take it back! For real this time! I imagine myself destroying the pasodoble – no, god, my boot heels! The planks on the floor! I take it back!
The sun returns, so I pick up my things, head back out to that secluded space, spend a few minutes admiring the resoundingly designed program of the building.
Preformed white concrete panels are suspended twelve feet off the ground to establish the roof of the entrance. Ninety-degree angles abundantly in evidence. Brick pixelates the angled outer walls with the stuff of the earth. Ultra-high resolution, they call it around the masonic lodge.
Someone in the amphitheater is having their photo taken by a professional – everyone loves to do photo shoots there. She is wearing dark knee socks, a navy jumper and a blue bowl haircut, or maybe it’s a wig – I can’t tell from here. I picture anime or promotional material for this fine spring day.
A squirrel bounds through the grass – then poses in front of me, paws together, as though summoning oration.
A robin alights on the stone cladding of the raised beds, begins to stand exclusively on its left leg. The leg is angled under the center of mass – it’s a practiced move.
No one knows why the American robin does this – maybe it’s like bird meditation, though the memory of the American robin is so specifically extraordinary when it comes to navigation and geospecific locations that effectively, at the sensual level on up, it is living in a reality separate from our own, so who knows what meditation might mean.
They can see the magnetic fields of the earth in their eyes using a protein called cryptochrome, which reacts to magnetism. Cryptochrome – like something from the Marvel universe.
Maybe when the American robin stands on its left leg, it’s spacing out to the daytime reality of solar storms, the whole environment all aflutter with a phenomenology of waves passing around the material world.
The robin and the squirrel go their separate ways, and I feel the temperature drop – ah, me! the pasodoble! – as the next part of the front crosses campus.
A peel of thunder indicates the breaking of the sound barrier by means of electromagnetism and the displacement of gasses. Electromagnetic properties experience disequilibrium as a kind of earthquake in the sky that causes the air to vibrate in an awe-inspiring way – the sound magnetic fields make when they rearrange themselves in a gaseous atmosphere.
We are fluid dwellers, through and through, we humans and mammals and reptiles and amphibians and lichen gnawing on patches of the plaza’s concrete. Maybe from the standpoint of the atmosphere, land is just one big coral reef.
When that perfect destiny began to drop rain, the sound at first was curious, expectant – an all-squinty-eyed-and-kissy-faced sort of rain began to fall that grew into a snowy hum that seemed to have a simple song playing inside it, like someone playing a ukulele in the room next door, singing along.
The gig carries on for twenty minutes or so – an opening act – before the rain begins to march double time through the streets – barely soldiers even when they were soldiers.
Less tactic and more matador, this rain storm, and its boot heel crashes down on the planking of the still-lovely spring day. These magnetic storms are not
for war making, nor fighting bulls, nor even for entertaining that cosmic bird called the American robin. What are they for then?
American robins also configure their flight by the stars, by remembering features on the land, by creating mental maps of it all.
And they swim with both grace and endurance, as they navigate this liquid world, this concrete way of life.
In the moment, they are roosting in a tree, observing the silver magnetic waves marching through the streets. Made of what? The pasodoble! Concrete.

Hi guys! I'm in search of some rooted cuttings and was wondering if anyone on here could help me out. I've moved a lot over the last few years with the military and we're finally settled in this house for a while. So if you're pruning or thinning or just experimenting with propagation, keep me in mind please! Lol.
Some of my favorites that I've had to leave behind and would love to replace are:
Annabelle Hydrangea Jasmine officinale Vetiver grass - Sunshine Pawpaws Dinner plate dahlias Oriental lilies Lavender Lemon and lime trees
I have a messy cottage garden starting up again finally. Comfrey, blackberries, a baby baptisia, irises, calla lilies, crinum, lemon balm, catmint, a Jude the Obscure rose, and purple heart are what I've managed to get going here so far outside of annuals. 💜
I love odd colors, fragrant flowers and pretty much any cottage garden plant.

I'm worried, and I'm sad, as I have this weird feeling that my dear sister is already gone, and there's nothing I can do to get her back. I come from a family of 3 siblings : my sister June (28F), me (25F) and my brother Alex (21M). We also took in our cousin Ariane (17F) when she was younger as her parents' divorce was very rocky. She was with us from 10 to 15 yo. I have to admit June was always more of a mother to us 3 than our own mother. Our parents were great and provided us with everything we needed, but they were not really available for us. My mother was a workaholic and suffered from work-related injuries. Her right arm was left paralyzed from this. My father worked everyday, even on weekends, and he would be gone from 7am to 7pm.
June was left doing everything in the house since she was at least 12 yo : cooking meals, chores, groceries,... She was the one we would wake up in the night when we were feeling ill, or had an "accident". She was the one who would bandage us up when we fell. She was the one comforting us when we were sad or had a nightmare. She was the one who helped us do our homework and recite our lessons. She always made sure we were happy and safe. It's useless to say that we adored her.
I hate to admit that I began to resent her growing up. I was jealous of my friend's sisters who would take them on shopping sprees, had boyfriends and went to parties. While the only outing June allowed herself was her part-time job as a groomer in a nearby ranch. She only had 1 friend she never saw, and her social skills were terrible. She was shy, socially awkward, and had a hard time outside of the house. She never told us, but I think she hated school. When she turned 18, she began to work full time at the ranch. And even then, she would came back home and do all the chores and take care of us 3 teens. My boyfriend always calls her Snow White. Anytime he would visit, she'd be scrubbing the floor, ironing, cooking,... And she was always humming or singing, surrounded by our pets. We thought it was cute, and never realized she was overworked.
There was an incident when my brother found her passed out in the bathroom. She would always stay close to 1 hour in the bathroom in the evening. We used to joke that she had to scrub every inch of her body to get rid of the manure stench. Once, she forgot to lock the bathroom, and Alex got in. He found her asleep on the floor, laying on a bath towel. She later admitted she was sometimes so tired she'd actually had a 40 minutes nap on the bathroom floor, then 20 minutes to shower and get ready. She said it was because it was the only place our parents will not bother her, but now I think we also had our responsibility in this. One by one, we left the house. Al moved to the city with his girlfriend to pursue their music career, and they are doing great. I moved in with my boyfriend of 8 years and we are engaged, and Ariane went back to her father. June was left alone with our parents. She cried every time one of us would move out, she seemed so happy that it turned out great for us. When our father retired, June was 26 and finally felt comfortable leaving the house as well. She bought a small bungalow in the countryside. Our father was worried as the location is pretty isolated, but June has a big dog, and it's only a 10 minutes drive from their house. We thought she was doing great, and she was finally in her element. We saw each other at family events, and she seemed still tired, but serene. One month ago, Alex wanted us to reunite for old time's sake, the four of us and our s.o. June invited us to her bungalow, it had been a while since we all went there together. She had dressed a beautiful table, and we could see she had put her heart in a delicious meal as always. However, her behavior was very off... She was very quiet, and had a sad smile. Like her mouth was smiling, but her eyes were like... lifeless. She seemed very "cautious" around us. Walking on eggshells all the time. Like she was talking, but adding "I hope it's okay if I say that " or "You don't have to tell me if it's to personal". Alex' girlfriend's name is Annabelle. "You want more wine, Ann ... oops. Hope it's okay if I call you Ann, Sorry, I know some people don't like when you use nicknames".
The way she dresses also changed. She used to wear dresses all the time. Girly dresses, with flowers and frills. But now she wears large baggy pants and simple black tops. She has like a dozen in her bathroom. I also found antidepressants in her bathroom while looking for a towel. It worries me. She's always been the strong one, the pillar of the family. She never told anyone about mental health issues she might have. When we were outside, a murder of crows landed in her garden. One of them was on the fence and she told it "Not today yet, friend". She then turned to us and said "He's waiting for me to drop dead so he can eat my eyes, the rascal". There are spiders everywhere in the house. Don't get me wrong, the house is squeaky clean, but the spiders remained untouched. My boyfriend tried to smash one above the sink, and June screamed "No !! Leave Betty alone, she's a friend!". She pretended it was because the spiders keep the fly and mosquitoes outside. But I have a weird feeling. Ariane asked to see the large cabinet in which June exposed some wooden miniatures she builds. It's really cute. But we noticed she also got into resin, and in one of the drawers was a collection of dead insects preserved in resin. It was never in her character to do something like that, and Al joked about the kind of "Jeffrey Dahmer" hobby this was. She got defensive, and told us the bugs were already dead, she just preserved them in resin for whatever reason. Something weird also, she talks to an "entity" in her house. Apparently it locked her in the attic once, bangs on doors, and plays with the lightbulbs in the house. I don't believe in paranormal at all. But when we were eating, the kitchen light began to flicker. June sighed and said "Come on, sir. I have guests. Stop now". And just like that, it stopped. Ariane was pale as a sheet, she's very into ghosts and stuff. June didn't elaborate further than "Don't worry, he's annoying but harmless". Alex had taken his guitar with him. He asked June if she'd be down to sing with him for old time's sake. June would never have passed an occasion to sing. But she pretended she had a sore throat, and "maybe next time". I don't know. She's not the sister I used to know. I worry something wrong is going on. I talked about it to Alex, who said she was just tired, and maybe she missed us, which is why she looked so nostalgic. I also aksed my boyfriend, who thinks now she had more free time, so her creative side is expanding. And even if it's in a way we don't like, who should just be glad for her. I didn't talk to Ariane about it, she's young and I don't want her to worry. But I can't help but think about June. She's not the same person. We used to hug a lot, but now she seemed tense when I hugged her goodbye. Almost... scared. I need to talk to someone about this. But I don't know who. I can't force her to see a therapist. Hell, I don't even know if something's wrong with her, or if I'm just overreacting. I send her some messages, and she always replies with smileys and "take care". But I don't know. Maybe we staid away from her too long, she's feeling alone, something in her broke... It's like she's a ghost of her former self. A shell. I'm so scared she might do something bad to herself.

Hi, I wanted to share my husband's story: My husband and I worked for an inventory company that had us inventory home depots and Lowes on the entire West Coast, such as Cali, Arizona, Las Vegas, Washington, and Utah. For context, we would be driving in teams in 3 vans, and our bosses would fly out to the city that we were going to be inventorying another piece to add in our team that contained mine and my husband's was my husband's brother and girlfriend when we got sent to Vegas for the second time we were placed in a hotel that was very sketchy like the kind you see in horror flims my husband and I were walking to our room and we felt as if something/someone was watching us after a while we got ready for bed and I always fall asleep first than my husband as it's kinda complicated for him to fall asleep in new places around 3 am or so my husband wakes me up by hitting my side crying and terrified and screaming now my husband is NEVER phased so for him to be crying and pale caught me off guard he kept saying "it grabbed me !" And " it burns!" I looked at his arm, and there were red marks on him. After 30 minutes, there was a mass message from my boss advising us to pack up because we are leaving Vegas that afternoon which was odd because we usually stay to do two home depots, but we were now only scheduled to do one my husband was still pale and clear as day disturbed later on at work my boss came to our team and asked if we were okay because at 3 am she heard screams turns out she heard my husband screaming... and our other teammates said at 3 am ALL hotel phones were ringing nonstop. My husband had to be cleansed by his mom. A month and a half later, we were in AZ after doing inventory. Our team was driving to the following location, but during that time, we pulled over * my husband's brother was driving * and saw a staircase my husband's brother and girlfriend went up as my husband and I stayed behind to change out of uniform my husband gets a call from his brother and invited us to come up the stairs because at the top there was a rosary with flowers and covered in holy things I didn't want to go, but my husband went mind you my husband and I are NEVER separated even at rest stops but I stayed behind next thing I know my husband's brother and girlfriend come down gagging I asked what was wrong and they said the minute that my husband went up . it went from smelling like flowers to smelling like rotting flesh my husband came down the stairs looking sad and heartbroken as he told me he feels like if that thing that touched him was still with him. We left that job, and one day, we were watching the first Annabelle, and during the part where the demon grabs the mom, my husband went pale and sweaty. I asked if he was okay, and he responded, "That's what grabbed me that night, and it said you're coming with me" I believe in God I pray to God and I see that God and his angels were protecting me those times and I praise God for doing so even my husband who wasn't big on believing in our lord and savior is now more open to my beliefs in God he doesn't seem to feel a dark presence anymore which is a big relief. Thank you for reading my story

Happy Sunday,
Thanks for checking out my post. So, like the title says I'm looking to make a friend that could lead to something romantic, or if it doesn't at least I've made a cool friend.
I'm 32, 6'1, and 195 lbs. I have dirty blonde hair, blue eyes, and dimples. I get told I look in the 24-28 age range very often. For the past few months I've been on a path of self/life improvement. I eat super clean, workout 6x a week, work on my mental health often, and try to maintain healthy hobbies.
There are some areas in my life where I might be considered a conundrum. I work as an armed security guard -- gun on my hip and Kevlar under my duty shirt. At work I'm one of the guys. I relay stories about my past; being a bouncer and out on security patrols encountering danger... at home (and in my free time) I hang out with my cats, write poetry and short stories, go hiking, take road trips to the beach, read often (mostly fantasy and general fiction), play the occasional video game, and cook (a lot). I love flowers and gentle things. I wish the world was a gentler place. Sometimes it feels like I lead a double life. Even some of my guy friends don't know how "soft" I am. The closest ones do. Frankly, I got made fun of a lot growing up for being sensitive. I guess I'm pretty selective on which parts of me people get to see. That's why I'm here, I want to find someone to share that softer side with.
Personality wise I'm very kind and try to show it to everyone and everything around me. I'm super affectionate and sweet. I'm gentle but also very protective. Sometimes, I can be a tad insecure -- I'm betting it's already shown in this post. I'm usually lighthearted and will be goofy/silly to get a laugh out of someone. Quite a few people have told me I feel warm and safe and it's my most favorite compliment(s) I've ever received. There's plenty more good and bad that comes with me, but I don't think this is supposed to be a biography, lol. I'm also super big into cuddling and showing my affection. I don't think any of of my friends or former partners would describe me as anything close to cold.
I'm hoping that you are more than anything: kind. Somewhere close to 23-39, fit enough to go places and do things like a 10 mile hike or swim in the ocean (if this is a irl thing), can appreciate a sometimes grim sense of humor, and aren't totally adverse to reading a book, and can find joy in little things.
So, yeah, thanks for reading this, and if you think we'd hit it off as friends or more ( I really am open to both) I hope you message me. I'm happy to share pics if that's important to you/whatever dynamic we find.

Thank you to everyone who submitted names! If you want to just get to it, here is the voting form: https://forms.gle/NVvnGRrrwyXBAND7A
And the nominees are…
Best Fake Accent
Sutton Foster - Sweeney Todd
Daniel Radcliffe - Merrily We Roll Along
Aaron Tveit - Sweeney Todd
Kara Young - Purlie Victorious
Jeremy Jordan - The Great Gatsby
Most Athletic Performance
All The Acrobats - Water For Elephants
Justin Guarini - Once Upon A One More Time
Daniel Radcliffe - Merrily We Roll Along
Sutton Foster - Once Upon A Mattress
Everyone - Illinoise
Best Ensemble
The Outsiders
Here Lies Love
Merrily We Roll Along
Once Upon A One More Time
Hell’s Kitchen
Back to the Future
Water For Elephants
Ensemble Member Who Really Lives by the Motto that there are “No Small Parts”
Amber Ardolino - Back to the Future
Carson Stewart - The Notebook
Max Rackenberg, Rocco Van Auken, Brady Wagner aka all the Frankie Jr.’s - Merrily We Roll Along
Jonathan Christopher - Sweeney Todd
Best Playbill Biography
Hillary Clinton - Suffs
James Monroe Inglehart - Spamalot
Paul Alexander Nolan - Water For Elephants
Nik Walker - Spamalot
Taran Killam - Spamalot
Best Playbill Design
Merrily We Roll Along
Cabaret
Water For Elephants
Here Lies Love
The Notebook
Best Use of Pop Culture References to Connect With the Youth: Combined with the Best/Worst/Corniest Jokes Category, because they both had very similar nominees.
All the Lesbian Jokes - Lempicka
“I’m Done With the Spanish Flu” - The Great Gatsby
The George Santos Reference - Spamalot
The Ozempic Jokes - Spamalot
Lots of Things - The Mean Girls Movie
Best Merch
The Notebook, Specifically the Tissue Boxes
Once Upon A One More Time
Gutenberg!
Suffs
Merrily We Roll Along
Best New or New-Ish Performer
Liam Pearce - How to Dance in Ohio
Ali Louis Bourzgui - The Who’s Tommy
Nichelle Lewis - The Wiz
Hannah Cruz - Suffs
Brody Grant - The Outsiders
Most Highly Critically Acclaimed Play that Only 17 People Actually Paid To See
Jaja’s African Hair Braiding
Uncle Vanya
Days of Wine and Roses
Prayer For the French Republic
Lempicka, starring Mariand Torres
Performer Who Did Not Get To Show Off Enough In Their Role: thank you to u/Comprehensive-Fun47 for suggesting this category and its nominees!
Sierra Boggess - Harmony
Julie Benko - Harmony
Beth Leavel - Lempicka
Steve Carrell - Uncle Vanya
Christina Sajous - The Who’s Tommy
Worst Show to go Into Blind
Days of Wine and Roses
Lempicka
Merrily We Roll Along
The Who’s Tommy
Here Lies Love
Best Official Social Media of a Production: There are so many posts to choose from to best represent each of these shows marketing moves; I just went ahead and chose my favorite post from each nominated show.
Gutenberg!
Lempicka
The Great Gatsby
The Outsiders
How To Dance In Ohio
Best Theatre-Related Social Media
Bryan The Business Analyst
MickeyJoTheatre
Kate Reinking
BroadwaySHO
The Theatr App
Most TikTok Worthy Song
Woman Is - Lempicka
Roaring On - The Great Gatsby
Kiss Me - The Notebook
Best Stage Door Experience
Merrily We Roll Along
Harmony
Sweeney Todd
The Great Gatsby
Lempicka
Worst Stage Door Experience
Gutenberg!
Sweeney Todd
Days of Wine and Roses
The Great Gatsby
Merrily We Roll Along
Role Most Likely To Be Stolen By James Chosen in a Movie: And yes, these all were suggested more than once.
Tamara de Lempicka - Lempicka
Anyone - Spamalot
Bud or Doug - Gutenberg
Jay Gatsby - The Great Gatsby
The Cowardly Lion - The Wiz
Single Best Costume
Aaron Tveit’s Bloody Shirt that Sold For $6k - Sweeney Todd
This Cinderella Dress - Once Upon A One More Time
This Glinda Dress - The Wiz
Emcee’s Dress During “Money” - Cabaret
Rafaela’s Jacket - Lempicka
Single Best Prop
The DeLorean - Back to the Future
The Notebook - The Notebook
Rosie the Elephant - Water For Elephants
The Typewriter - Merrily We Roll Along
The Hats - Gutenberg!
Craziest News Story
Lauren Boebert at Beetlejuice
My Son’s A Queer Postponement/Cancellation
Ethan Slater and Ariana Grande
New Sweeney Todd Casting
Two Great Gatsby Musicals
Best Post on Broadway
Eva Noblezada Last Show Updates! - u/elaerna
Tired of the "what show should I see" posts? Help me build a flow chart we can pin! - u/FlowersBloomUntil
Sweeny Todd is just a guy????????? - u/badwyrm
MEGATHREAD of Spamalot (2023-24) Knights Who Say "Ni!" bits (Alex Brightman, et al.) - u/Thatchos
Gutenberg Guest Roster - u/Apprehensive-Sir1988
Best Producer on Gutenberg!
Lin-Manuel Miranda
Weird Al
Audra McDonald
Idina Menzel
Steve Martin and Martin Short
Worst Snack Allowed in the Theater
Anything with Crinkly Wrapping
Chips
Spaghetti Sauce
Popcorn
Alcohol
Worst Things To Do As An Audience Member
Be On Phones
Talking
Singing Along
Filming
Shame Performers For Not Stage-Dooring
Worst Behaved Audience
Sweeney Todd
Moulin Rouge
An Enemy of the People
Aladdin
Student Matinees in General
Best Bathroom Attendant
Stephen Sondheim Theatre (& Juliet)
Al Hirschfeld Theatre (Moulin Rouge)
August Wilson Theatre (Funny Girl, Cabaret)
Bernard B. Jacobs Theatre (Parade, The Outsiders)
Broadhurst Theatre (A Beautiful Noise)
Single Best Song to Come Out of This Season
Great American Bitch - Suffs
Great Expectations - The Outsiders
Evanesce - Days of Wine and Roses
Woman Is - Lempicka
Here Lies Love - Here Lies Love
Best Play That Did Not Premiere On Broadway
Oh, Mary!
Primary Trust
Jonah
Death, Let Me Do My Show
All The Devils Are Here
Best Musical That Did Not Premiere On Broadway
Dead Outlaw
Operation Mincemeat
Here We Are
Teeth
The Connector
Most Anticipated Show of Next Season
Sunset Boulevard
Romeo + Juliet
Boop!
Gatsby
Our Town
Old Friends
…
That’s all of them! Please let me know if there are any better links I can put in, or if any of the links don’t work.
I know there are some statistics nerds on this subreddit, so if anyone can come up with some wacky statistics related to these nominees, that would be real cool! Or if anyone wants to design the program for this year’s Bad Tony’s, that would also be really cool! Alright, anyway, I hope you all enjoy!

The root potentials are not differentiated. By reciting the Name, a rebirth is confirmed.
‘differentiated’ here means pick and choose. The Buddha does not pick and choose the root potential of living beings. As long as he recites Namo Amitabha Buddha, he will attain a rebirth.
第十章 不擇根機 稱名必生
「擇」是選擇、挑選。對任何根機的眾生不加選擇，只要稱念彌陀名號，必得往生。

1. The Dharma Door of Amitabha recitation pervasively gathers in the myriad potentials.

(1) The doubts of living beings
The Pure Land which we desire to be born is truly pure and adorned. How about every one of us? After we have learnt the Buddha Dharma, we contemplate ourselves especially and we know that we are the defiled man who is filthy and sinful, who is impure with greed, hatred and delusion. After further thinking, doubts arise in us: I am this defile man of impurities, with heavy karmic hindrances. Are you sure I can attain a rebirth in such a Pure World of Ultimate Bliss? Standing from the angle of a mundane, this doubt is unavoidable.
一、念佛法門廣攝萬機
（一）眾生的疑慮
我們所嚮往的淨土，是那樣清淨莊嚴，而我們每個人自身呢，特別是學佛之後反觀內省，就知道自己污穢、罪垢，貪瞋癡三毒不淨。這樣想一想，難免起疑惑心：像我這樣一個染污不淨、業障深重的眾生，果然能往生那麼清淨的極樂世界嗎？
站在凡夫這一邊，難免有這樣的疑問。
(2) ‘living beings of the ten directions’ refer to the living beings in the nine Dharma realms.
In other Dharma Doors, only the man with superior good roots and sharp wisdom are able to cultivate the path. Those who are with inferior root potential and low mentality are unable to learn the Dharma. Anyhow, some living beings will be left out. But in the Dharma Door of Amitabha recitation, it pervasively brings in living beings of the superior root nature, the mediocre and the inferior ones. None will be left out. It is the Dharma Door for all men. So, it is thus described, ‘The one Dharma which gathers in the myriad potentials.’ The six syllables Name is the one Dharma which can rescue all living beings.
‘The one dharma which gathers in the myriad potentials’ has its evidence derived from the 18th Vow when it is thus stated, ‘living beings of the ten directions.’
（二）「十方眾生」即九法界眾生
其他法門，上根利智能夠修學，下根劣智就學不來，總有眾生遺漏在外。可是念佛法門，上、中、下三根普攝，無一人不能修，無一人不當修，所以是「一法攝萬機」——以六字名號一法，救度一切眾生。
「一法攝萬機」的根本依據，就是第十八願當中的「十方眾生」。
‘living beings of the ten directions’ is an expansive scope. ‘Ten directions’ means it is not limited to our Saha world only. It is inclusive of all the empty space in the ten directions, all the living beings in all the worlds pervade the Dharma realm. ‘Living beings’: Other than the Buddha Dharma Realm, the other nine dharma realms belong to living beings. These living beings include the Bodhisattvas of the Equal Enlightenment and also those in the Avici hell. Everyone is inclusive.
「十方眾生」包括得很廣泛。「十方」，不限於我們娑婆世界，而是十方盡虛空、遍法界一切世界的眾生；「眾生」，除了佛法界，九法界都屬於眾生，上至等覺菩薩，下至阿鼻地獄眾生，通通包括在內。
In the passage on Vows, these words are stated, ‘except for those who have committed the five rebellious acts, who slander the Proper Dharma.’ It seems that the Buddha will not save those who have committed the five rebellious acts, who have slandered the Dharma. But Great Master Shandao has clarified this point based on the Contemplation Sutra, the lowest position of the inferior grade, saying that these are words of preventive measure, giving warning to the living beings so that they will not commit such severe offences. But if they have committed these offences, the Buddha will still save them.
願文裡雖然有「唯除五逆，誹謗正法」八個字，似乎五逆謗法的人不救，但善導大師已經根據《觀經》下品下生說明這是抑止意，警示眾生不要犯此重罪；如果已經犯了，還是要救。
In the Adornment Sutra, another version of the Sutra of Immeasurable Lifespan, it has clearly stated the rescue of living beings in the three evil paths:
Living beings from the realms of hell, hungry ghosts and animals are born in my Land after receiving my Dharma Transformation. They will attain Annutaraksamyaksambodhi very soon.
《無量壽經》異譯本《莊嚴經》明確說明救度三惡道眾生：
地獄、餓鬼、畜生，
皆生我剎，受我法化，
不久悉成阿耨多羅三藐三菩提。
In the ‘Great Amitabha Sutra’ it is thus stated, ‘All the man and devas, the flying insects and wiggling worms, who on hearing my Name are filled with compassion. They are excited and joyful. All of them are able to be born in my Land.
《大阿彌陀經》說：
諸天人民、
蜎飛蠕動之類，（蜎ㄩㄢ；蠕ㄖˊㄨ）
聞我名字，
莫不慈心，歡喜踴躍者，
皆令來生我國。
‘The flying insects, the wiggling worms’ refers to the worms which fly and crawl. These living beings are most stupid and deluded. Throughout hundreds of thousand Kalpas, they are unable to leave transmigration. Dharmakara Bhikshus talks about these living beings and says, ‘They will all be born in my Land.’
「蜎飛蠕動」是指飛蟲和爬蟲。像這樣的眾生，是最極愚癡的，百劫千劫無法出離。而這樣的眾生，法藏比丘說「皆令來生我國」。
2.Great Master Fa Zhao’s verses: Transforming the tiles into gold
(1) Prelude
At the causal ground, that Buddha has brought forth these magnificent vows, ‘I will surely come forth to welcome you if you have heard my Name, if you are calling my Name.’ He does not differentiate if you are poor or rich, if you are with low mentality or are very talented. He does not differentiate if you are greatly learned, that you have upheld the pure precepts. He does not differentiate if you have transgressed the precepts and are heavy in sinful roots. As long as you turn over a new leaf to recite lots of Namo Amitabha Buddha, even the broken tiles can be transformed into gold.
This is the Great Master Fa Zhao who has made use of the verses of Great Master Ci Min to explain the meaning of the 18th Vow in the Sutra of Immeasurable Lifespan.
二、法照大師「變瓦成金之偈」
（一）引文
彼佛因中立弘誓，聞名念我總迎來；
不簡貧窮將富貴，不簡下智與高才；
不簡多聞持淨戒，不簡破戒罪根深；
但使迴心多念佛，能令瓦礫變成金。
這是法照大師引用慈愍大師的偈文，解釋《無量壽經》第十八願的含義。
(2) Explanation
（二）釋義
‘At the causal ground, that Buddha has brought forth these magnificent vows’: That Buddha Amitabha Buddha was known as Dharmakara Bhikshu. He has brought forth the expansive and magnificent great Vows. Generally speaking, the magnificent vows refer to the forty-eight Vows. Here, Great Master Fa Zhao has specially pointed out the 18th Vow. ‘Magnificent’ means expansive and limitless, inclusive of all living beings. ‘On my attainment of Buddhahood, if…’ refers to the vows. ‘if they cannot attain a rebirth, I will not certify to Proper Enlightenment.’ ‘If living beings in the ten directions cannot attain a rebirth when they call my Name, I swear that I will not accomplish Buddhahood!’ This is called ‘swearing’. It is known as the ‘taking an oath, making Vows.’ It is a serious matter.
「彼佛因中立弘誓」：彼阿彌陀佛因中叫法藏比丘，建立了弘廣的大願。「弘誓」，總的來講，指四十八願；法照大師在這裡特別指第十八願。「弘」是廣大無邊，任何眾生都包含在內。第十八願：「設我得佛」就是願；「若不生者，不取正覺」——「如果十方眾生稱我名號不得往生，我誓不成佛！」這叫「誓」，合稱「誓願」，非常殷重。
‘I will surely come forth to welcome you if you have heard my Name, if you are calling my Name.’ This is a brief explanation of the 18th Vow. The merits and virtues of hearing my Name is inconceivable. Living beings who recite my Name Namo Amitabha Buddha are all welcome by him to his Western World of Ultimate Bliss. No one is left out. ‘surely’ means no one is left out.
「聞名念我總迎來」：這是簡略地解釋第十八願。聽聞我的名號功德不可思議，念我阿彌陀佛的名號的眾生，通通被迎接到西方極樂世界去，沒有一個遺漏在外。「總」是一個不漏。
Below, four verses are used to explain the ‘living beings of the ten directions’ in the 18th Vow.
‘He does not differentiate if you are poor or rich:’ ’differentiate’ means to pick and choose. ‘or’ means whether, either. Dharmakara Bhikshu has brought the vows, ‘I will surely come forth to welcome you if you have heard my Name, if you are calling my Name.’ He does not differentiate, choose or pick, saying, ‘This is a poor man. I will not save him. That is a rich man, I will save him.’ This is not the way! There is no differentiation in poverty and wealthiness.’ This is the meaning of ‘he does not differentiate if you are poor or rich’
下面用四句話解釋第十八願的「十方眾生」。
「不簡貧窮將富貴」：「簡」是挑選、揀擇，「將」是又、且。法藏比丘「聞名念我總迎來」的誓願，並不分別、挑選：「這個貧窮的，我不救；那個富貴的，我救」——不是這樣！沒有貧富的差別，這叫「不簡貧窮將富貴」。
‘If you are with low mentality or are very talented’: ‘with low mentality means a man with inferior root potential who is lacking in wisdom, who is not knowledgeable. ‘talented’ refers to a man with great wisdom, who is of superior root and sharp wisdom. According to Dharmakara Bhikshu, he has vowed that, ‘Whether you are with little wisdom or are very talented, if you have heard of my Name and are mindful of me, I will come forth to welcome every one of you.’
「不簡下智與高才」：「下智」，下等根機、智慧低劣、無智無識的人；「高才」，高等智慧、上根利智的人。法藏比丘的誓願，「不管是下智人、高才人，你聞名念我，我通通來迎」。
‘He does not differentiate if you are greatly learned, that you have upheld the pure precepts. He does not differentiate if you have transgressed the precepts and are heavy in sinful root.’：You are well-learned and you recite Namo Amitabha Buddha, I will come forth to welcome you. You have little learning but you recite Namo Amitabha Buddha, I also come forth to welcome you. You uphold the pure precepts strictly and recite Namo Amitabha Buddha, I will come forth to welcome you. If you have transgressed the precepts, that you are very sinful. But if you recite the Buddha’s Name, I will also come to welcome you. Amitabha Buddha does not choose and pick. He does not differentiate who you are as he bestows his Great Kindness equally to all. This resembles the sun which shines on the good men and it also shines on the evil men. Amitabha Buddha lights of kindness shine forth equally, taking pity on all Amitabha reciters, rescuing all Amitabha reciters. For a wealthy man whose richness is the greatest in the country, if he does not recite Namo Amitabha Buddha, he cannot attain a rebirth. For a beggar who does not have any money if he recites Namo Amitabha Buddha exclusively, he can arrive at the World of Ultimate Bliss.
「不簡多聞持淨戒，不簡破戒罪根深」：你廣學多聞念佛，我來迎；少學寡聞念佛，我也來迎。你嚴持淨戒念佛，我來迎；破戒罪深念佛，我也來迎。阿彌陀佛沒有選擇，沒有分別，平等大慈。如同太陽的光明，照著善人，也照惡人。阿彌陀佛平等慈光憐憫、救度一切念佛人。富翁，富可敵國，不念佛，不能往生；乞丐，不名一文，專修念佛，能到極樂世界。
‘As long as you turn over a new leaf to recite abundant Buddha’s Name,’ ‘As long as’ seems very simple. ‘As long as you act this way’. ‘Turning over a new leaf’ are important words. It means that you have a change of mind. You have turned around from the former thoughts which rely on self-effort. Now, you only rely on Amitabha Buddha. You do not feel inferior, neither do you become arrogant. All the poor men, rich people, men with little wisdom, talented men, men with wide learnings, with little learnings, people who uphold the precepts, who have transgressed the precepts should have a change in mind. ‘To recite lots of Namo Amitabha Buddha’ means to recite exclusively, continually. They enjoy and love to recite Namo Amitabha Buddha.
「但使迴心多念佛」：「但使」，聽起來很簡單，「你只要這樣」；「迴心」這兩個字很重要，迴心轉意，迴轉原來靠自己的心，來靠阿彌陀佛，既沒有下劣想，也不起高慢想。貧窮、富貴，下智、高才，多聞、寡聞，持戒、破戒，都要迴心。「多念佛」就是專念佛，相續念佛，念佛不嫌多。
‘lots’ is a general trend of practice, without limitation. This is because the root potential of living beings is different. Some are busy while others are relaxed. If we set ten thousand as lots of recitation, some might not reach it. While others might feel too little.
「多」，是一個大致的方向，沒有限定。因為眾生根機各有不等，時間各有忙閑，如果定一萬句為多，有人達不到，還有人嫌太少。
So, here is only a general trend in practice. We have to set a demand on oneself. As it is spoken by Great Master Shandao, ‘Setting a demand on yourself to recite diligently throughout the whole life.’ This is known as ‘lots of recitation.’
所以，這裡只是一個大方向，自己要求自己。像善導大師所說的「勵心克己，畢命為期」，這叫「多念佛」。
The poor man might feel this way, ‘I do not have money to accrue merits and virtues. I am afraid I cannot attain a rebirth just by reciting the Buddha’s Name.’ Is this the right way of thinking?’ The answer is no! We must turn around and let Amitabha Buddha decide, ‘I am poor and I cannot afford to give a lot. But I recite Namo Amitabha Buddha. Amitabha Buddha will surely come to welcome me!’ It is unnecessary to spend lots of money. Amitabha recitation is a Dharma Door that a poor man can afford to practise. We do not have to spend money to buy this Name. Talking about this, if we need to buy the six syllables Name, how much money should we spend? So, it is not because of being poor or rich. The poorer the man, the more we need to rescue him, to relieve him. Dharmakara Bhikshu has thus said,
‘In the immeasurable Kalpas, if I do not become a great donor to relieve the poor pervasively, I vow not to accomplish the Equal Enlightenment.’
貧窮的人會覺得「我沒有錢作功德，像我這樣光念佛怕不能往生吧」，這個心對不對呢？這個心不對！要迴轉過來，任憑阿彌陀佛：「我雖然窮，不能大布施，但是，我念阿彌陀佛，阿彌陀佛必定接引我！」不用花錢，窮人能修得起的法門，就是念佛法門。這句名號不用花錢買。話講回來，這句六字名號，如果花錢買，花多少錢能買得來呢？所以，不在於我們是貧窮還是富貴，甚至越是貧窮的越要救濟。法藏比丘說：
我於無量劫，不為大施主，
普濟諸貧苦，誓不成等覺。
All of us are the poor men who are lacking in wealth, lacking in merits and virtues. We do not have the merits and virtues of Dharma wealth. As long as we can recite Namo Amitabha Buddha, Amitabha Buddha will rescue us to the World of Ultimate Bliss. If we have to rely on building the temples, cultivating the merits and virtues only we can arrive at the World of Ultimate Bliss, only the rich men are qualified to be born there. This is not the case.
不論在財富上，還是在功德上，我們都是窮人，沒有功德法財。只要念佛，阿彌陀佛就會救度我們到極樂世界去。如果靠建寺院、作功德才可以到極樂世界，那麼，只有富人才有資格了——不是這樣。
Even the rich men must also have a change of mind. As it is said, ‘It is not easy for the rich to practise the path.’ These words are true indeed. When a man is rich, he is high in status and he is honoured by others. It will be difficult for him to learn the Buddha Dharma. One reason is that he is very arrogant, feeling that he is higher than others, that he is very special. Another reason is it is not easy for him to encounter the genuinely Good Knowing Adviser. He might have many friends but they come not because of learning the path. They come for money. Internally, he is arrogant and externally, there is a lack in good affinities. Besides, as he is rich, happy and at ease, he will only fall into enjoyment. This is very difficult for him to cultivate the Path. The rich men feel this way, ‘I have donated lots of money. I have accrued lots of merits and virtues. So, I am qualified for a place in the World of Ultimate Bliss.’ Can this be the proper view? This is improper. He must have a change of mind, ‘Though I have cultivated lots of merits and virtues in the Buddha Door, they are the merits and virtues with leakage. They are incomparable to the merits and virtues of the six-syllables Buddha’s Name.’ So, a rich man must put down the mind to rely on his own effort. He must learn to be humble, to have a change of mind to recite Namo Amitabha Buddha sincerely.
富貴人，也要迴心。「富貴學道難」這句話確實不假。有錢，地位顯貴，難以學佛。一方面是因為他有驕慢心，覺得自己高人一等，比別人優越。另一方面不容易遇到真善知識，雖然有許多朋友，但不是為道而來，而是為錢而來。內存驕慢，外缺善緣，加上富樂自在，耽於享受，這樣學道就很困難。富貴人覺得「我布施了多少錢，作了多大的功德，所以我到極樂世界有分」，這樣的想法正確嗎？不正確。要迴心轉意：「縱然我在佛門裡作了功德，但這還是有為有漏的功德，與六字名號的功德無法相比。」所以，富貴人要把那種自我倚仗的心放下來，謙卑下來，迴心老實念佛。
A man with little wisdom is often enveloped in inferiority. He is thinking, ‘I am so stupid and deluded. I have no wisdom. How am I going to attain a rebirth?’ He must also have a change of mind. The rescue of Amitabha Buddha does not depend on how cultured you are, how many Sutras you have read, whether you are a university lecturer. These are not taking into consideration. Even though you are stupid, deluded, low and inferior, there is no difference for you to attain a rebirth in the Pure Land. People who are simple -minded, deluded, with little wisdom can believe in the Pure Land Dharma Door easily. Great Master Yin Guang has thus said, ‘Two types of people can have faith in the Pure Land Dharma Door easily. They can easily become the honest Amitabha reciters. Who are the two types of people? The first type is the wise men. The second type refers to people who are simple and a lack of wisdom. These are the two extremes: the wisest and stupidest.
下智的人往往心存卑劣：「我這樣愚癡，沒有智慧，怎麼能往生呢？」這樣的心要迴轉。阿彌陀佛的救度，不是看你有多少文化、讀了多少經典、是不是大學教授，不是看這些。雖然愚癡卑劣，往生淨土沒有差別。愚癡少智的人往往比較容易和淨土法門相應。印光大師講：淨土法門，兩種人最相應，最容易成為老實念佛人。哪兩種人呢？一種是上智的人，一種是下愚的人——最上智慧的和最下愚癡的，這兩個極端。
Only the wisest and the stupidest would practise Amitabha recitation persistently.
Once these two types of people are resolute and firm in the exclusive cultivation of Amitabha recitation. No one can change them. Why is this so? The wisest men have widely studied all the teachings and Sutras, penetrating all the Dharma Doors. They know that only the Dharma Door of Amitabha recitation is the best. So, they can be honest in their practice, reciting the Name of the Buddha, relying totally on the Original Vows of Amitabha Buddha without taking a side glance. These wisest men are such like Nagarjuna Bodhisattva, Vasubandhu Bodhisattva, Great Master Tan Luang, Great Master Dao Chuo, Great Master Shandao. Why do those who are stupidest recite Namo Amitabha Buddha honestly? They say, ‘I do not know much. I can only recite Namo Amitabha Buddha!’ Can you still remember the story I have told you previously, the story ‘Do have mercy on me, Amitabha Buddha’?
唯上智與下愚不移。
這兩種人一旦專修念佛了，他的志向堅定，不能改變。為什麼呢？上等智慧的，廣研一切經教，通達一切法門，知道唯有念佛法門最好，所以他能老老實實專念這句名號，仰仗彌陀本願，心無旁騖，像龍樹菩薩、天親菩薩、曇鸞大師、道綽大師、善導大師。下愚的人為什麼可以做老實念佛人呢？「我什麼都不會，我只有念佛！」上次講了「阿彌陀佛你可饒了我」的故事，大家還記得嗎？
There was an elderly lady who had put in lots of effort trying to attain a rebirth. She heard people saying this, ‘If you cannot recite the Sutras, you cannot attain a rebirth.’ She was illiterate. She did not want to trouble others to teach her just in case they might get irritated. So, she asked her daughter, ‘Please check the dictionary for me and tell me how to pronounce this word.’
Her daughter is not a Buddhist. She asked, ‘Mum, you are so old already. Are you taking examination in the Buddhist University?’
‘You do not understand! Just tell me how to pronounce it.’ So, she spent lots of effort learning Amitabha Sutra. Then she learnt a Mantra. It is so hard for her. Later, she had a chance to learn the Pure Land Principles as explained by Great Master Shandao, and understood that whatever kind of potential a person can be, if he recites Namo Amitabha Buddha exclusively, he will attain a rebirth. Immediately, she turned to the western direction and hit her head hard on the ground three times, ‘Oh, Amitabha Buddha, you have mercy on me! You have mercy on me!’ For the sake of attaining a rebirth, she copied the Sutra every day, memorized the Sutra, checked the dictionary. It is truly hard for her. She was so afflicted.
有位老太婆，為了往生，費了好大勁。聽說不會誦經不能往生，她又不識字，問人家又怕人家不耐煩，就問她女兒：「幫我查查字典，告訴我這個字怎麼讀。」
她女兒還沒入佛門，說：「媽，你這麼大年紀了，你還要考佛教大學啊？」
「你不懂！你告訴我怎麼念就好了。」她費了好大勁，學了《阿彌陀經》，還學了一個咒，非常辛苦。後來她聽了善導大師闡釋的淨土教理，得知任何根機專修念佛一定往生，她馬上向西方磕了三個響頭：「阿彌陀佛，你可饒了我了！你可饒了我了！」她為了求往生，每天抄啊，背啊，查字典啊，非常艱難，非常苦惱。
Then, there is another lotus friend. What does she study? She is nearly seventy and she is learning the ‘Expansive Treatise of the Sequential Bodhi Path.’ She has already no time to learn all these! What time does she have, with impermanence before her eyes, with the yellow mud nearly covering up her neck? What she should swiftly do is to recite Namo Amitabha Buddha! For the sake of doing her assignment, every night she studies the book and takes notes. The next day, she must answer questions. She said, ‘I wake up at three every morning. At night, I have to study until very late. I was so tired, sweating all over!’ All these happen just because she can read. If she cannot read, she will surely recite Namo Amitabha Buddha honestly, am I right? This happens all because she does not understand the root, the source of the Dharma Door. If she can understand, people with little wisdom can simply recite Namo Amitabha Buddha just like us, in accord with our identity. This is good enough.
還有一位蓮友，學什麼呢？快七十歲了，在學《菩提道次第廣論》。學這些，來不及了！無常就在眼前，你現在黃土都快埋到脖子了，哪來得及啊？要趕緊念佛！結果她為了交作業，每天晚上都要看書，還要做筆記，第二天要回答問題。她說：「三點鐘就要起床，晚上有時要學到半夜，累得渾身是汗，太累了！」就因為她認識幾個字，她要是不認識這幾個字，不就老實念佛了嗎？這都是不瞭解法門的根源。瞭解了，下智的人就以我們的身分老實念佛就好。
In Xuan Cheng, an old lady by the Name Yao Chun Lin attained a rebirth in the Pure Land at 84. She is an illiterate and she is very pious. As her ancestors have faith in the Buddha, she is influenced by the Buddha teaching from a very young age. But she does not understand the Buddha’s principles and she only knows how to pray with incense and bowing. During the Cultural revolution, no one is allowed to believe in the Buddha, no one can make offerings to the Buddha. So, secretly she burnt incense in the hole of the mud stove, to make offerings to Avalokiteshvara Bodhisattva. As the kitchen stove belongs to the Kitchen God, she prayed to the Kitchen God and said, ‘Kitchen God Bodhisattva. I do not have a place to burn incense for Avalokiteshvara Bodhisattva. Do you mind if I burn the incense at your place?’ It looks as though she is very stupid. Actually, she is very kind, abiding by her position. After the Cultural Revolution, people are free to have their own faith. At the beginning, she was quite worried, that the law of the Government prohibits her faith. So, she still conducts her prayer secretly. After some time, her daughter told her, ‘What era is it now, that you are still hiding your prayers? Now, we are free to believe in the Buddha. Mother should simply make offerings to the Buddha openly.’ Only then did she bring the Bodhisattva out to make offerings. But she still does not know the aim of learning the Buddha Dharma. She only knows she must be kind and accrue virtues, besides helping others. Later, a lotus friend told her, ‘Old lady is so sincere in your prayers. How come you do not recite Namo Amitabha Buddha?’
宣城有位老太太叫姚春林，八十四歲往生淨土。她一個大字不識，人很虔誠，因為祖上信佛，所以從小受過佛教的影響，但是不明佛理，只是燒香拜拜。「文革」時期不准信佛，不准供佛。她就在土灶的鍋洞裡偷偷地點香供觀音菩薩。因為灶上屬於灶王爺的地盤，她就跟灶王爺打招呼說：「灶王菩薩，我沒有地方給觀音菩薩燒香，就借你這個地方燒一燒，你沒有意見吧？」她這個心，好像挺愚鈍，其實很善良，很本分。「文革」之後，信仰自由了，一開始她還有點怕，還怕政策再不讓信佛，還是偷偷的。日子久了，她的女兒說：「這都什麼年代了，你還偷偷摸摸的？現在信佛自由了，你可以放心大膽供佛了。」這樣她才請菩薩來供。但是，她還是不知道學佛的目的，只知道行善積德，為人要善良。後來一位蓮友對她說：「老人家這麼虔誠！你怎麼不知道念佛啊？」
She asked, ‘What Buddha should I recite?’
‘Recite Namo Amitabha Buddha!’
‘Oh! Recite Amitabha Buddha, but I am praying to Avalokiteshvara Bodhisattva.’
‘Besides making offerings to Avalokiteshvara Bodhisattva, you should recite Amitabha Buddha, to seek a rebirth in the Western World of Ultimate Bliss.’ Only then that she managed to hear about the World of Ultimate Bliss. At that time, she was already eighty-one -year- old. After another two months only then she began to recite Namo Amitabha Buddha at home, phrase after phrase. Besides, she also got herself a recital device. She still continued to recite Namo Amitabha Buddha. But in her heart, there is still some doubts. A lotus friend came to tell me, ‘The elderly lady Yao is a very pious woman. But she is still very worried about her qualification to go to the World of Ultimate Bliss. Besides, she has not met with any left home people her whole life. Now, she is very ill. I think it will not take long. Can Shifu go to see her as she wishes so much to see a Shifu.’ I listened to this and felt that she was a worthy lady. I went to see her. On seeing me, she put her palms together respectfully and we started chatting.
She said, ‘I am afraid that I am not qualified. I am illiterate. I do not know any Sutras either. Do you think Amitabha Buddha want people like me?’
I told her, ‘Yes, Amitabha Buddha wants you! As long as you recite Namo Amitabha Buddha, Amitabha Buddha will take all in! He welcomes you to go as you are his precious child!’
On hearing this, she was so happy and said, ‘It is so good! It is so good! It is so good!’ She exclaimed three times. You see, this is having ripe good roots. After hearing my words, she has no doubts at all. She continues to recite Namo Amitabha Buddha whole-heartedly.
她問：「念什麼佛啊？」
「念阿彌陀佛！」
「哦！念阿彌陀佛——我供的是觀音菩薩。」
「供觀音菩薩，你也要念阿彌陀佛，要求生西方極樂世界。」她這才聽說極樂世界。這個時候，她已經八十一歲了。又過了兩個月，她才開始念南無阿彌陀佛，一句一句在家裡念，還請了念佛機。念歸念，她心裡還是有疑惑。一位蓮友就來跟我講：「這位姚老太太，人很虔誠，但是就怕自己不夠格，不能到極樂世界。另外，她一輩子沒有見過出家人，她現在病得很重，估計差不多快要走了。師父是不是去看看她，她很想見見出家人。」我一聽，感覺她很可貴，我就去了。她一看見出家人，就恭敬合掌，然後就跟我聊上了。
她說：「我怕不行啊，我一個字也不認識，什麼經都不會，像我這樣的人，阿彌陀佛要嗎？」
我說：「阿彌陀佛要啊！你只要念佛，阿彌陀佛一個不漏！非常歡迎你去，把你當寶貝！」
她一聽就高興了：「那就好！那就好！那就好！」連講三遍。你看，這就是善根成熟了，講了她就不懷疑，就專心念這句名號。
She was down with the last stage of liver cancer. Liver cancer (Hepatocellular carcinoma) is a very painful disease. But she did not have the pain. She only felt numbness in the area around the liver. When the two daughters came home, she would ask them to recite Namo Amitabha Buddha. One day, the two daughters were sitting by her side. The younger daughter recited softly but the eldest daughter was silent. The old lady was not happy, asking her the reason for not reciting. The eldest daughter was shameful when her mother asked her and answered, ‘Mother, I recited in my heart.’
她是肝癌晚期——肝癌是很痛的，但是她身上一點痛苦都沒有，只是肝部有點麻木的感覺。兩個女兒一回來，她就叫她們念佛。一天，兩個女兒在旁邊，小女兒小聲念，大女兒沒張口，老太太就不高興了，問她怎麼不念佛。大女兒被媽媽這一問，不好意思了，說：「媽，我在心裡念。」
‘What do you mean you are reciting with your heart? Why can’t you open your mouth?’ She did not allow her to recite in her mind, asking her to open her mouth to recite.
Her children are mostly very filial. Once they reached home, she would say, ‘Everyone recite Namo Amitabha Buddha. Do not talk other nonsense.’ So, everyone also recited Namo Amitabha Buddha. After sometimes, she was too ill. The lotus friends went over to conduct aided recitation. At that time, the weather was especially hot, around August. The lotus friends recited six syllable words she would recite six syllable words. The lotus friends recited four syllable words she would recite four syllable words, ‘Amitabha, Amitabha… ‘When the recitation was loud, she would be loud too. Sometimes, she even sat up to recite Namo Amitabha Buddha, following our recitation. In such a situation, it looked as though she was leading the lotus friends to recite Amitabha Buddha. Though the weather was so hot, lotus friends who joined the aided recitation said instead, ‘This is the only old lady who have made us so energetic in aided recitation!’ No one was talking. Everyone recited Namo Amitabha Buddha for the whole session.
「什麼在心裡念？你為什麼不能開口啊？」她不許她在心裡念，叫她開口念。
她家裡的孩子都挺孝順的。一回到家裡，她就說：「你們都念佛，其他事不要閒扯。」大家都念佛。這樣過了一段時間，說是不行了，蓮友們去助念。那時候天氣特別熱，我記得是八月分。蓮友助念，她隨你怎麼念：你唱六個字，她也唱六個字；你念四個字，她也念四個字，「阿彌陀佛，阿彌陀佛……」；你要是念大聲，她也念大聲。有時候她還坐起來念佛，跟著我們的聲音。那種情形，簡直就是她在帶蓮友念佛。雖然天那麼熱，助念的蓮友卻說：「這樣的老太婆，我們為她助念，感到就是有勁！」大家一句閒話都沒有，一句佛號念到底。
I was getting ready to go to Nanking the next day. So, I do not have the chance to send her. On that day itself, she passed away early in the morning. Later, I went over to see her and she looked very good. She had passed away in the most supreme way, in the most adorned manner! Her hands and bones were softer than baby just as if she was boneless. Everyone went forth to shake hands with her. After the cremation, there appeared the relic, the relic flowers. After such an experience, her two daughters started to have faith in the Buddha. The whole family including the old and young members, males and females come to a few tens in number take vegetarian food for forty -nine days on her behalf. She is truly a very wonderful lady! This is a lady with low wisdom. She is illiterate but she has attained a rebirth in the Pue Land. So, we can see it does not depend on our cultural level to attain a rebirth.
我當時要準備第二天去南京，就沒有機會送她走。就是那一天，她清早往生了。後來我去看她，她的面色、氣韻非常好，走得非常殊勝，非常莊嚴！手和骨節簡直比嬰兒還柔軟，就好像沒有骨頭一樣，所有的人都跑去跟她握手。火化之後，還得到舍利子、舍利花。有了這個經歷，她的兩個女兒都開始信佛了，家裡的男女老少，大大小小一共幾十口人，都為她吃素四十九天。所以，她也是很了不起的！這就是下智的人、沒有文化的人往生淨土。可見，不是靠我們的文化程度去往生。
There is another interesting story. In Zhejiang, Cixi, there is a Upasika by the surname Yan. Her hometown is Zhejiang Yu Yao. Her neighbour at her hometown is an old lady, by the surname Chen. So, she calls her Chen Po. Chen Po is different from other people. Ever since she was young, Upasika Yan has been seeing Chen Po enjoy Amitabha recitation. She recites on her own, without any guidance. Anyway, who is going to teach her Amitabha recitation? Maybe it is passed down from her ancestors, that she knows there is the Buddha Dharma. But she does not know about the attainment of a rebirth in the World of Ultimate Bliss. She only likes to recite, ‘Amitabha, Amitabha, Amitabha…’throughout the days and nights. One day, Upasika Yan has learnt the Buddha Dharma and she thinks of the old lady in her hometown. She went home to visit her mother. Then she said to Chen Po, ‘A Po, it is good to recite Namo Amitabha Buddha! Do you know about the World of Ultimate Bliss?’
還有一個故事也很生動。在浙江慈溪，有一位姓嚴的居士，老家是浙江余姚。她老家隔壁有一位阿婆，姓陳，她就喊她「陳婆」。這位陳婆跟別人不一樣，嚴居士小的時候就看見陳婆喜歡念佛。她念佛也沒有人教，那時候誰教她念佛呢？她大概 也是祖上帶來的，知道有佛法，但是不知道往生極樂世界，就喜歡念佛，「阿彌陀佛，阿彌陀佛，阿彌陀佛……」一天到晚念。嚴居士後來學佛了，就想起老家還有這麼一位老太婆，回去探望母親的時候，她就對陳婆講：「阿婆，你念佛好啊！你知道極樂世界嗎？」
Chen Po answered, ‘I do not know.’ Upasika Yan is very expedient in her way. She knows A Po believes that a man will go to hell after his death. So, she asked, ‘Do you know after passing away, we must go to see the King Yama?’ ‘Yes, I know.’
陳婆回答：「我不知道。」
嚴居士比較善巧，她知道阿婆相信人死後有下地獄這回事，就問：「你知道人死了要去閻羅王那裡嗎？」
「那我知道。」
Again, she asked, ‘Are you afraid to go to see the King Yama?’ She answered, ‘That is not good! I do not want to go there.’
She said, ‘The World of Ultimate Bliss is a good place. It is better than the heavens. If you go to the World of Ultimate Bliss, then, you do not have to go to the place of King Yama. Do you want to go?’
‘Yes, of course, I want to go!’
她又問：「去閻羅王那裡怕不怕？」
「那當然不好！不願意。」
她說：「極樂世界是非常好的地方，比天上還好。到了極樂世界就不用到閻羅王那裡去了。你要不要去呀？」
「那好啊，那我當然要去！」
Chen Po is that simple. She knows there is the World of Ultimate Bliss. She does not want to go to the place of King Yama to undergo judgement. With this kind of mind, she recited Namo Amitabha Buddha, Namo Amitabha buddha… from morning till night. This is the first time she has heard about the World of Ultimate Bliss, that by reciting Namo Amitabha Buddha, we can go there.
陳婆就很簡單，知道有一個極樂世界、不要到閻羅王那裡去審判，就懷著這樣的心念佛——南無阿彌陀佛，南無阿彌陀佛……一天到晚念。這是她第一次聽到念佛可以到極樂世界。
Later, Upasika Yan went back to her hometown again and her mother told her, ‘Our neighbour A Po is sick. She is on the bed. Do go and take a look at her!’ Upasika Yan went over to see her and found that she did not recite Namo Amitabha Buddha on the bed. Upasika Yan asked, ‘A Po, you like Amitabha recitation so much. Now, why are you not reciting?’ She asked, ‘Can I recite Namo Amitabha Buddha while lying on the bed?’
後來，嚴居士又回老家一趟，她媽媽說：「隔壁的阿婆病了，躺在床上，你去看看吧！」嚴居士就去看她，見她躺在床上不念佛。嚴居士說：「阿婆，你這麼喜歡念佛，現在怎麼不念佛啊？」
她說：「躺在床上也能念佛嗎？」
Upasika Yan told her, ‘No problem! You are sick now. So, it is inconvenient. Amitabha Buddha does not mind. You can lie on the bed to recite Namo Amitabha Buddha.’
She said, ‘I am worried that I should not recite on the bed. I wanted to recite but I dared not do it. It is so good for you to tell me this. I believe in you. I have seen you growing up before me and I know you will not lie to me.’ Good! She started to recite Namo Amitabha Buddha again.
嚴居士就跟她說：「沒關係！你現在生病不方便，阿彌陀佛不嫌棄，你躺在床上也好念佛的！」
她說：「我就怕不能念佛，我想念還不敢念。你這樣告訴我就好了，我相信你講的話，我從小看著你長大的，知道你不騙人。」好！她又開始念佛。
After the passing by of one more month, Upasika Yan’s mother told her, ‘Our neighbour A Po has already passed away. She has left in such a supremely wonderful way.’
又過了一個多月，嚴居士的媽媽說：「隔壁的阿婆走了，走得非常殊勝。」
No one in the old lady’s home believes in the Buddha. Before she left, she told her daughter the time she would be leaving.’ But her daughter did not believe in her. She said, ‘Mother, you look so good. Where are you going?’ She did not take her words seriously. So, she passed away silently, with no aided recitation. When her daughter came back and found that her mother had already passed away. But her body is still very soft. She was very frightened because she had no faith in the Buddha. She did not know what has happened. She ran to see Upasika Yan’s Mother, her neighbour and said, ‘Do come and see what has happened to my mother. Is she death already or still alive? Why is her body so soft?’ You see, this is a very common old lady who is not cultured, who only recite Namo Amitabha Buddha exclusively. She took care of her recitation and she left in such a supremely wonderful way.
老婆婆家裡沒有人信佛，她走的時候提前告訴女兒她什麼時候要走。女兒不相信：「你精神好得很，你往哪裡去啊？」沒當一回事兒。她是一個人悄悄走的，沒有人助念。她女兒跑回來一看，媽媽死了，身上還是軟的，就害怕了，因為不信佛、不瞭解怎麼回事，就跑到隔壁找嚴居士的媽媽：「你看看我媽怎麼回事，是死還是沒死？怎麼身上是稀軟稀軟的？」你看，就這麼一個平常的老太太，沒有文化，專修念佛，守著這句名號，走得非常殊勝。
Great Master Yin Guang said that he had been travelling tens of thousand miles to and fro from the south to the north. He has met with lots of people. In most cases, Amitabha reciters who are honest, simple will pass away peacefully and at ease, even though there is no manifestation of lights or auspicious marks. But those who has penetrated the sects and teachings, who look down on the Pure Land practitioners, who are very well-known often leave the world in a pitiful and chaotic way. At the last moment of life, the well-versed ones, the wise ones suffer a loss in comparison to the uneducated ones, the ones with no wisdom. You may be winning now, but at last you will lose. This is not good.
印光大師講，他走南闖北，往返萬餘里，見過很多人，往往是老實愚癡的念佛人，即使走的時候沒有什麼放光動地的瑞相，但最起碼都走得安詳自在；那些通宗通教、蔑視淨土的人，雖然有很大的名聲，但是走的時候總是呼爹叫娘。到最後，有學問、有智慧的人反而輸給沒有學問、沒有智慧的人。大家不要現在贏過人家，到最後輸給人家，那就不好了。
Of course, if the wise ones are not proud of his wisdom, in the way just as described by Great Master Yin Guang, that he is able to put down his body and mind, that he recites Namo Amitabha Buddha sincerely just like the common old ladies, his wisdom will be much more supreme. This is because not only he can attain a rebirth, he can also propagate the Dharma to benefit living beings. This is much better.
當然，有智慧的人如果不倚恃自己的智慧，像印光大師所說的，也能夠放下身心，老老實實學一般的老太太來念佛，他的智慧就更加殊勝。因為他不僅可以自己往生，還可以弘法利生，那就更好了。
The ones with great learning should have a change of mind. They should not be so proud of their knowledge that they refuse to recite Namo Amitabha Buddha. They should think this way, ‘My knowledge and understanding are very limited. Even Manjushri Bodhisattva, Samantabhadra Bodhisattva are also seeking to attain a rebirth in the Pure Land of Ultimate Bliss, what is more so for a common man like me?’ They should transform the mind of arrogance to seek a rebirth in the World of Ultimate Bliss.
多聞的人，也要迴心，不要認為自己廣學多聞，就可以不念佛。應該說：「我們的智解很有限，文殊菩薩、普賢菩薩都求生極樂淨土，何況我這個庸庸凡夫呢？」迴轉高慢的心，求生極樂世界。
Those who uphold the precepts should also have a change of mind to seek a rebirth in the Western World of Ultimate Bliss. By doing so, their Brahman conduct will be guaranteed. They are confirmed to attain Buddhahood.
How about those who have transgressed the precepts, who are deep in sinful karmas? Most of them will feel that they are finished, ‘I am finished. I am sure to fall down!’ May be Amitabha Buddha will not rescue people such like me.’ This type of thinking is improper too. They should have a change of mind. With a mind of regrets and repentance they should say, ‘I am heavy in sinful karmas. With a root potential like me, I am sure I will fall down! Only Amitabha Buddha who is Greatly kind and Compassionate can rescue me with this root potential. So, I will have a change of mind to rely totally on Amitabha Buddha. In every thought, I am mindful of the Buddha, reciting His Name to seek a rebirth in the Western Land.’ People such like are confirmed to attain a rebirth too.
持淨戒的人，也要迴心求生西方極樂世界，這樣才能保證梵行清淨，決定成佛。
破戒的、罪業深厚的人呢？一般會覺得「完了，我要墮落了！我這樣的人，阿彌陀佛可能不救。」這樣的心也是不正確的，也要迴心轉意。應該懷著慚愧心和懺悔心：「我罪業深重，以我這樣的根機，肯定要墮落！現在只有阿彌陀佛大慈大悲，能夠救度我這樣的根機。所以，我的心迴轉過來，投靠阿彌陀佛，念念念佛，求生西方。」這樣也決定往生。
During the Song Dynasty, there was a monk by the name Ying Ke. It was recorded in the ‘General records of the Buddha.’ Dharma Master Ying Ke had left the homelife. But he did not abide the Buddha’s precepts and pure rules and had many transgressions.
宋朝有一位出家師父，名叫瑩珂，在《佛祖統紀》裡有記載。瑩珂法師雖然出了家，但是在戒律方面毀犯很多，沒有按照佛法的清規戒律來做。
After some time, he realized his faults, ‘Oh dear! I am in troubles. I continue to drink wine, to eat meat. Besides, I have transgressed many other precepts. I am indeed leaving the homelife in vain. I am very sure I will fall into the evil paths!’ He was very frightened as he had not bothered to learn any Dharma Door. In fact, his mind was not on the Path. Now he had an awakening and he borrowed a book from his Dharma brothers. It is the ‘Biography on attaining a rebirth.’ After he had read the book, he heaved a sigh of relief, ‘I see! By reciting Namo Amitabha Buddha I can attain a rebirth in the Western World of Ultimate Bliss!’ He immediately had a change of mind and became very diligent in Amitabha recitation. He swore that he would not eat nor drink for seven days, ‘My sins are too severe. It is most frightening to fall into the hell! Since I can go to the West by reciting Namo Amitabha Buddha, I have better go now, reciting the Buddha’s Name now!’ After bringing forth this mind, he closed his doors and recited Namo Amitabha Buddha by himself in the room.
過了一段時間，他良心發現：「麻煩了！像我這樣子，酒肉也沒有斷，其他戒也多有毀犯，我豈不是白白出家一場！豈不是要墮落惡道！」心中就很恐慌。他沒修學過什麼法門，因為沒有道心嘛。現在醒悟了，他就向同住的道友借了一部《往生傳》，看過之後非常感慨：「原來念佛可以往生西方極樂世界！」他一轉變過來，就勇猛念佛，發誓七天不吃不喝：「我造罪太重了，墮落地獄不得了！念佛能到西方，乾脆現在就念著佛去！」發了這樣的心，就把門關起來，一個人在房間裡念佛。
After three days, he had a dream of Amitabha Buddha who came to tell him this, ‘You can still live another ten years. After ten years, I will come again to welcome you. You should be diligent.’
Ying Ke Dharma Master said, ‘Amitabha Buddha! I am this man with inferior root, with no wisdom. I am afraid after such a long time I might lose my Proper mindfulness and start to commit sins of decay. Please help me, Amitabha Buddha who is kind and compassionate. Do bring me along earlier. I do not want to live another ten years.’ This is the genuine mind to seek a rebirth in the Western World of Ultimate Bliss. This is bringing forth the courageous mind of diligence.

-Just mercy -Bryan Stevenson -No longer human -Dazai Osamu (I’ve read I love it sm) -Ikigai -Hector Garcia -Crime and punishment -Fyodor Dostoevsky -The life of a stupid man -Akutagawa Ryūnosuke -Regarding the pain of others -Susan Sontag -The setting sun -Dazai Osamu -Rashōmon -Akutagawa Ryūnosuke -The Flowers of Buffoonery -Dazai Osamu -Naomi -Junichiro Tanizaki -The box man -Kōbō Abe -Medicine Walk -Richard Wagamese - Nothing But Blackened Teeth-Cassandra Khaw -School Girl -Dazai Osamu -Poems of Chūya Nakahara -Chūya Nakahara -Heaven -Meiko Kawakami -In Praise Of Shadows -Junichiro Tanizaki -Scarlet Memorial -Zheng Yi -Some Of Your Blood -Theodore Sturgeon -House Of Leaves -Mark Z. Danielewski -The yellow wallpaper -Charlotte Perkins Gilman -Slip -Marika McCoola -The silence of the lambs -Thomas Harris
I really like literacy fiction, biography/autobiography, poetry, psychology, gore, traditional literature, history, crime, Japanese folklore and ghosts(yokai, myths)

Hi! I grew up in the Bible Belt, went to church twice a week from birth until I moved out of my parents’ house at 22. When I moved out, I lost the desire to go to Church and I stopped. Honestly, I had lost it long before then but I still went to church just to appease my parents. I never truly “enjoyed” church. I found it incredibly boring and I basically tuned out every service. It was impossible to pay attention to. I also started having some questions about the entire religion. I did a lot of research and found a lot of contradictions in the Bible and found out so many that are huge hypocrites and the most judgmental people on the planet were the ones in the front row pew every Sunday. I became very bitter about that and just kind of lost respect for religion as a whole. It got worse when my younger sister came out as gay and my grandparents stopped talking to her. Then they found out I was living with my boyfriend (without being married) and they pretty much stopped talking to me too. I just had a bad experience and it left me a little resentful.
I never wanted to stop believing in God though. I hope with everything in me that there is a Heaven and life beyond this. I believe God works things out for those who worship him. My boyfriend recently found a church he really likes and is becoming a member of. I started going with him as well, and while I still find it sort of boring and tend to zone out, I’m better than I used to be. I try to pray when I can or listen to a short sermon otw to work or something sometimes. Anything I can to be a better Christian.
My concern is for the past few years, I have been utterly fascinated with new age, “witchy” things. I find astrology super interesting, and also pretty accurate a lot of times. I find crystals interesting; I have purchased a few and while I don’t necessarily believe that they’re a “cure all”, if I want to be more confident and wearing carnelian around my neck helps me achieve that, is that really hurting anyone or going against a religion? I understand not practicing magic or anything because God’s will should come first. But if I want to burn a little incense to help unwind/meditate, wear a few magic rocks, or plant a few herbs/flowers around my house for protection/good luck, am I going to hell? As long as there’s a line somewhere is the main thing, right? I’m just worried I’m a failure and God hates me for liking the things I like, I feel like a good Christian shouldn’t like these things, but here I am. I’ve always liked the aesthetic of moons, stars, and black cats. I like visiting cities like New Orleans, Salem, and Savannah, and learning about their paranormal history. I like reading biographies about Marie Laveau and Stevie Nicks. It all makes me so happy and I find it more interesting than anything in the Bible I’ve ever read and I feel awful about it. Can the two really be that different? Can they be so different that they’re not even relevant to each other at all? I’m just seeking some perspective/clarity is all! Thanks!

I listened to the audiobook about two months ago and I still find myself going back through certain chapters. I’ve bought both the Peever & the Michael Glenny translations and will be properly reading it soon, I just wanted to share the topic and was hoping for a discussion.
The characters within it were so fascinating to me.
From Woland coming to Moscow and completely reeking havoc to the town, sending the poet Homeless to the mental asylum and somehow getting Berlioz killed. The dark magic show which led to complete chaos, too. The humor between Woland and his entourage was really something.
The depiction of Jesus of Nazareth worked as an odd parody to the biblical accounts. Matthew Levi being horrible at notating what Jesus preached (intentional as some sort of a sick joke? He does attempt to put Jesus out of his misery but fails), and Judas not being a disciple, and not even committing suicide out of guilt, but rather, falling for an obvious trap of lust through Niza. Pilate being depicted as being remorseful and completely obsessed with Jesus after his judgement, dreaming of the moonlight and having one last conversation with Jesus (which gets paid off by the end). I honestly can't say enough things about that plot line.
The Master and Margarita themselves aren't really introduced until about halfway or 2/3 of the way through the book. Both being disloyal to their partners but falling for one another quickly, almost as a fever dream sequence with the flowers. The book that the Master wrote, almost feels like it was fed to him by the devil in one way or another, however, Woland is completely surprised when Margarita tells him that the Master wrote a biography about Pontius Pilate, so maybe not. The sense of pure love that is taken over both of them almost feels like a childrens book, they love and care for one another, so much so that even as he completely disappears, she does everything in her power to get him back, including a deal with the devil (Faust).
The way this book ends is simply a thing of beauty, somehow, these three plots all become interwoven by the end, Pilate gets what he wants, the Master and Margarita get their happy ending through Jesus and Woland, and the town of idiot and non-believers either perishes or continues on as usual (not sure since it gets skipped over pretty fast).
Tell me what you guys thought about the book. I absolutely loved the depth of it.

First Previous Wiki
Admiral Tenrah returned to the battle map, looking at all the various icons and routes to and from star systems. So far, the Sennes Armada was keeping its pace mostly on track. The delay due to the diplomats from the Misan Li Heptarchies no longer would matter.
King Siran had pulled back from the battlefront against the High Federation in an attempt to pivot to the Hive Union. He had won the battle, but the stragglers included the remaining leadership of the High Federation anyway, so they could continue to remain somewhat organized. The massive civil war would soon spill into a more international affair, due to the King's rhetoric. But that was entirely his fault when he so strongly advocated for the deaths of Cawlarians who had lived on planets for generations that he happened to desire.
And he would not let his name be stained with even the suggestion of a loss. The Battle Planner and Fleet Commander Annabelle Weber were also now on their way to the front, and the diplomats from the Heptarchies were tagging along. Phoebe was in discussions with them now, and supposedly there'd been a few breakthroughs on that front. Whatever she'd promised them or get them to agree to, the fleet buildup along the Hive Union's border with the Heptarchies was slowing.
The Interstellar Gathering seemed to have realized no amount of bluffing would get the High King out of war. Even if he was a proxy force aligned with them, King Siran was not valuable enough for them to risk a wider war. It was just as Tenrah had expected and had told Eyahtni, Kawtyahtnakal, and the Patriarchs when he'd met with them several days ago. Just as a young hatchling couldn't be allowed to stray too far from the nest, there was simply no sense for the Heptarchies to risk economic ruin.
Orith and those who ruled over him would shift their tone while pretending it was a natural decision, not one they'd been forced to make to align with reality.
"I must commend your tactics in the latest training exercise," Tenrah said, ruffling his feathers slightly before respectfully nodding to Annabelle.
"I am pleased to hear such high praise from you, Admiral," the woman said. She was fully dressed in her regulation spacesuit, meaning most of her face was obscured. But Tenrah wouldn't complain since it was more than prudent to be ready for anything. The next unknown ships might not be friendly.
He had also looked into the parties responsible for the lack of communication or warning of the Misan's arrival. As it turned out, general incompetence was to blame. A receiver hadn't been properly calibrated, so the transmission signal had just been noise. He'd given the officer in charge of that an earful before eventually letting up and telling him to do better. A personal visit with the Admiral was one thing. But a second personal visit was quite another.
Tenrah drew a vector toward some of the outer systems controlled by the High King. A few garrison forces were there, but they would be swept away almost instantly. What most concerned him was the shipyards in the region that received most of their metals from a select group of planets in those systems. They were rich in the metals required to forge the alloys needed in the High King's fleet.
The High Federation had been something of a dumping ground for either overthrown species or other alien species that had been deported from their homeworlds before the war broke out. This was reflected in the number of species inhabiting the worlds, each with unique names, traits, and temperaments.
"We plan on taking this path, and then splitting to conquer these systems and disable their metal exporting abilities," he explained. "Then we will move to this system."
He zoomed in more and drew a new vector from where the previous one ended. "We have intelligence that they have at least four planet crackers there. Brey will send FTL suppression satellites through portals on the outer edges, with her portals boosted by our psychic amplifier fields. we will be able to take over the system quickly, and begin the process of either disabling the planet crackers or moving them back to our territory."
"We will need to know the angles the superweapons are at before committing to the battle," Annabelle said. "Otherwise, judging by the trajectory cone you have, we can bypass them entirely and reach Siran within two weeks."
"And that is an interesting proposal. Can you lay out your plan, in that case?"
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
Annabelle did so. She and Tenrah discussed the strategy's risks, and they eventually decided that such a tactic, while bold, wouldn't do what they set out to do: ensure the safety of the Cawlarians near the border. They were already trying to evacuate from the coming war front, but cities and planets were large things that took a lot of time to completely empty.
And more garrison forces, whether they were androids from Phoebe or specialized and highly trained defenders from the Union, were still moving in as the civilians evacuated. Kawtyahtnakal had established a fund for them, but many people were too stubborn to leave. Despite the looming threat of war and possible massacre, they still refused to board the passenger ships. Annabelle could respect their tenacity and courage, though she personally believed it was counterproductive.
A few encroaching splinters of Siran's fleet had already struck the evacuation forces. He'd sent around 2% of his ships away to harass all the border systems within reach in an attempt to get the Armada bogged down in defense. But with such small forces and the Union on such high alert, all of the important stations with weak shields were well within the protective layers of planetary shields in the area.
Larger garrisons than necessary were still required, of course, but Tenrah had managed to navigate the desperate concerns of the Feathers and those like them in charge of governing their planets with his natural political skill. He didn't need to ask them for favors because, as an Admiral, he alone held power over how his portion of the fleet would respond. Annabelle had witnessed that loyalty and control well within the organization of his fleet. Even at his advanced age, she continued to be impressed with his adaptability and skill at monitoring three-dimensional battle planes and fields.
She pointed to the cone of possible directions Siran was expected to take. They were generally adjacent to the border, though they would head around the left side of the territory he claimed from the Union. If he reached it, millions of lives would be lost every day. Once he broke the shields entirely, the planets would be utterly glassed down to their mantles.
She'd read up on his methods and had seen videos of them in action. Despite all her training, it still was haunting. The hivemind helped to soothe her when the unpleasant parts of command sizzled up to meet her in the middle of the night.
But they would not impede her on the field of battle. When she went to war, the hivemind suppressed all that wasn't necessary for the mission. It was their agreement, one which she'd asked of it. And being a node of the network meant that her stability was paramount, even more so than her title as Fleet Commander. For if she fell, others could take her place. Protocols ensured and demanded that.
But her place in the hivemind was what allowed it to have any strength this far out. It could form avatars and help with long-range communications, though the main mind back on Earth and Luna obviously remained disconnected from this distance.
"I would normally agree with you, Fleet Commander, but I am reminded of your tactic to use decoy hard light holograms."
"They will suspect that any ships heading right for the barrels, or close enough, are either not valued enough or are the decoys."
"Then all you have to do is make them impossible to ignore," Tenrah said. "I can lend you bombs capable of remaining armed and capable of being triggered inside of hard light holograms, even with jamming involved. Then, they will be unable to ignore them, and the explosions generated would destroy the shields in place around the planet crackers. If they fire the weapons, then the residual magnetic interference will allow us to destroy them, since the shields will be far weakened."
Annabelle could see the potential brilliance of the strategy. But it was just that- potential. In space, there were no obstacles. Without stealth fields, there was no hiding. And with hard light holograms, stealth was obviously off-limits.
They would be left approaching from angles that they would be unable to adapt to. She had her VI plot several routes but was unsatisfied, so she had Edu'frec link into the network to do it. Phoebe had been replaced after contacting a Sprilnav network to ensure she could scrub any programs that may have gotten through to her without distraction.
It would be a terrible thing for a Sprilnav AI to make it to her dreadnaught, for sure.
"We will likely need a threefold diversion at least," Annabelle said. "Maybe fourfold, if we can spare the forces, and brave any minefields that may exist."
"Well," Tenrah began. He pulled up a few schematics of the weapons her dreadnaught carried. "I believe you can solve the minefield issue from a distance, even with the lightspeed limit. After all, they can't move easily. As for the actual attack? I suggest a sixfold flower formation, with a twisting wings accent."
"You will have to show me a diagram of that," Annabelle said, grasping uselessly at the unfamiliar words. Before their integration had begun, there had been a limit to how much doctrine she could memorize.
Tenrah pulled up an image of an alien flower blooming with six petals. And then the image faded, overloading with a stylized ribbon of red shapes. The ribbons spun on their sides every thirty seconds, like corkscrews that were flatter.
"And in this case, the ribbons represent the drone formations. I can send a few carriers into the battle with fighter escorts, though we will need to keep them spread out to avoid any direct lines of sight from the planet crackers."
"I heavily doubt they will waste such shots on carriers," Annabelle said. "And if you commit more, you will overwhelm their defenses. I believe your drones are highly reflective, so only missiles and bullets can deal sufficient damage at the involved speeds and numbers we are working with here."
She tapped the diagram, shifting it by about 45 degrees.
"I believe I can fit a stealth force here, which will engage the back defenses of the planet crackers once they focus their shields frontward. I can likely get a full battlecruiser group in, and if you can press in as a wedge around 10 million kilometers above me from where I come in, and around 30 million kilometers below," Annebelle paused to draw the vectors with her hands, "Then it will aid in my ability to subdue them. It would likely shorten the battle time from a week down to four days."
"Assuming their detection satellites are not capable of seeing it."
"And we will target those too. I believe the first strike can fall on those, since the planet crackers will interfere with their ability to scan behind themselves, and such large power signatures can be noted."
"There is one more problem," Tenrah said. "We are generally working on the assumption of trying to capture these ships, yes?"
"Yes," Annabelle said.
"Then will we board them?"
"Yes, but no. Edu'frec and Phoebe's commando androids will open up the beach heads on the physical surfaces of the planet crackers, while our specialized mental warfare agents will take the fight to them in the mindscape. I assume you have your own plans in that regard?"
"It depends on how we will split the planet crackers. There are 12 in the system. Half and half?"
"That seems prudent," Annabelle replied. She selected the ones that would be most advantageous for her various gambits and strategies to work. They were closer together, which meant more capacity for coordination, mutual aid, and shielding. But it also meant a larger target, one which she could hit from many vectors without worrying about each enemy ship having a wide field of view. Some battlecruisers and cruiser groups were scattered around, but they were not enough to resist the Armada. And once Siran was robbed of a quick way to end the war, the Union would hold the upper hand, capable of committing devastating power to a fleet that remained in a system for a long time.
Yet the same was true for the Union and the Alliance. If the battle took too long, or their command positions were located, then the terrible might of the planet cracker beams would be turned upon them instead. Annabelle's dreadnaught was powerful. More so than all the ones before it. But that didn't mean she wanted to test her shields against alien planet crackers.
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
Penny was talking to a group of freed slaves on Justicar. These were recent ones who still held quite a bit of trauma. They'd taken to calling her 'Liberator' despite her never identifying herself as such. It was oddly endearing and did make her feel quite a bit better. It was good to just be able to go out and help people.
She felt some perturbations in the mindscape but ignored them. Right now, she needed to ensure that the gangs couldn't continue their horrific industry. She'd taken out most of their heavy equipment and was now waiting for the Guides to finish searching.
Sirens and alarms echoed in the distance. Penny sent psychic energy into her eyes, but she was too far underground to see anything without using the energy itself instead of light to see. Justicar's mind seemed busy, so she couldn't connect with him. As time went on, Penny felt that something was wrong. It was a gut feeling that she couldn't place. But because of that, she was on edge. She made a large shield of psychic energy above them.
She held it for several minutes. Nothing happened, but Penny wouldn't let it down that quickly. Justicar still didn't respond. Her communicator rang. Kashaunta was calling.
"What's going on?" Penny asked.
"The Grand Fleet is-"
Light and heat smashed into her, easily breaking through her shields. She briefly saw tens of thousands of Sprilnav burning before the light overwhelmed her eyes. Her communicator was destroyed. The onslaught was accompanied by a monstrous level of sound. Shockwaves drilled Penny into the melting and fracturing ground, forcing her lower and lower into expanding pools of magma and liquid metal.
The city's upper layers fell upon her, crashing with great and terrible force. But Penny was now fully reinforced with psychic and conceptual energy. She erupted furiously from the rubble. The air around her burned with heat as she continued to accelerate. The armor plates now surrounding her glowed cherry red, but they were white by the time she'd reached space.
She reached the first planetary shield.
"Displace," Penny growled. She forced reality to move as she willed and to place herself where she saw fit. The Grand Fleets were high above, firing upon a small group of ships that had detached from Azeri's fleet. They seemed to be directly attacking the broken-off contingent and not Justicar itself.
So Penny increased her eyesight and analyzed the battle in both real space and the mindscape. Nilnacrawla helped her identify Justicar's targets. The massive Elder was angrier than she'd ever seen him, and his size, which was even larger than Tetelali, made that incarnation of him appear more like a god of wrath. She saw him brutally tear through groups of minds desperately running to avoid him.
She could faintly see spheres of psychic and conceptual energy area denial fields. From this distance, the flagships' strength was truly impressive. Both of them were at least ten times as powerful as Azeri's had been during their battle. It was clear both Kashaunta and Valisada had ordered upgrades.
Then, her attention came to the dreadnaught, which seemed to be at the head of the attack. Penny explored the ship with her psychic power, pushing aside all resistance. Several lasers struck her, but she ignored them, denying their impact in reality against her own.
It glowed with the fury of weapons firing. Missiles and fighters flowed out of its bays. Bullets, nukes, and lasers streamed from red-hot gun barrels. A nuke hit her but didn't explode. She ripped it apart, using the materials to add energy to her reserves.
Justicar continued to go in inside the mindscape. He tore at them like a shark at a school of minnows in a coral reef. His ravenous anger and hatred were frightening, but Penny rapidly got used to it. Calling up her own memories of the innocent people who'd been killed for no reason, Penny wrapped herself in energy and began to erase her signature from the area.
Fighters flew past her, no longer hitting her psychic shields with bullets. Lasers stopped firing at her since she'd moved from her last position, and there was no longer anything for them to track. Penny floated in the stars, with bright blooms of white fusion explosions blossoming around her. And so she moved forward. She reached a cruiser. She reached forward, teleporting past its shields, and shut down the ship's reactor by teleporting all of its fuel into the void.
Soon, a missile from Kashaunta's Grand Fleet found the vessel, and it vanished in another sphere of heat and light. Of course, it was all silent in space. Penny could only hear her heart beating and occasional warnings from Exile or Nilnacrawla at incoming attacks. Exile occupied the area in her ears, which felt weird, but it allowed him to speak without showing himself in the mindscape. Given his nature and the fact that the Grand Fleets likely had detections for speeding space entities, it would be a terrible idea for him to appear there. Nilnacrawla continued to help Penny with the mental aspects of the battle.
He processed the energy input and output that Penny was giving off in the hopes of keeping her off the sensors of the dreadnaught battlegroup. She didn't want to attract the full focus of one of those massive guns. The explosions on Justicar would have been capable of cracking apart a mountain range if not for the extensive dampening Justicar's shields had done. And she'd withstood them only because she could shunt off most of their impact into reality, leaning into her conceptual nature and the nature of Cardinality to escape certain death.
Even with her power, as high as it had ever been, the blow she was taking were the most powerful physical impacts she'd ever endured.
She also suspected Yasihaut's work in this, though she had nothing to prove. She also had to remain vigilant about the Judgment. She couldn't take overly hostile actions, so she didn't just teleport the Sprilnav in the area out of their ships. She tried it on a smaller scale, and a weak pressure from the dreadnaught made her power fail to affect them.
But those Sprilnav were still doomed to die by their commander. But Penny didn't wish to doom the Alliance and herself by taking their deaths into her own hands. And she was stained with enough blood, metaphorical and literal. The ashes of the people she'd freed had fallen away with her ascent into the atmosphere, but the gritty memory and feel of them never would.
Once again, she'd been powerless to save those who'd needed her. And if she'd had that power, what could she have really done? Would she have been forced to stand there and take it? Or could she have really fought back in a way that wouldn't be turned against her in the Judgment? And was she wrong for considering all of that during such a horrendous time, when she'd literally seen thousands of people turned to slag and ash before her very eyes just ten minutes ago?
Penny burned with shame and grief. She hated this. She hated that things always turned to this. Why couldn't the galaxy just leave people alone? Why did there have to be so much suffering? Her anger threatened to overwhelm her, but with a herculean effort from her, Nilnacrawla, and Cardi, it was beaten back.
Penny felt Justicar getting close to breaking through the shield. She sent a small jolt of power to its underside. A thick bolt of psychic lightning infused with rage leaped from her arms, shattering the shield completely and taking roughly half her power. In the dreadnaught, the antimatter reactor she could sense radiating its energy suddenly lost all coolant access.
She pushed her psychic energy into herself and her conceptual energy into words that she harmonized into existence with the force and might of her will.
"Cardinality: One to zero. Reversal."
A heap of her energy left her instantly, stopping a budding explosion from ripping the dreadnaught apart. Justicar absolutely ravaged whoever was inside that ship, including what appeared to be a leader figure in the mindscape. Penny watched Justicar smash the Elder's corpse in his jaws and tear his soul from his body before shredding it violently with a contraption that looked straight out of a horror movie.
She let the explosion go, and so it went. The dreadnaught cracked in half. The Grand Fleets, which had never stopped firing, finally broke through the shields as the circuits failed to supply them with power. Hundreds of thousands of lives winked out instantly, torn to subatomic particles by beams coming from two different flagships. Penny went straight to Kashaunta, appearing on the ship's bridge still in stealth. To their credit, her guards noticed immediately and bared their weapons at her.
The guns that were powerful enough to blast holes in skyscrapers and sturdy enough to withstand a fall from orbit with hardly a scratch unloaded their payloads into her. Penny opened her mouth, and strings of psychic energy writhed outward, wrapping themselves around the guns and wrenching them out of the claws of Kashaunta's guards while the impacts' explosions were contained by thick shields.
Kashaunta herself had already drawn her sword but hadn't moved an inch.
"Penny," she said dryly. "Welcome to my ship. I apologize for your reception."
A new shield came down on both of them, preventing their words from reaching the ears of Kashaunta's subordinates.
"Think nothing of it, Elder Kashaunta. What punishments will be given to the Grand Fleet Commander?"
"Well, technically I am not the Grand Fleet Commander of this fleet," she said. "So that is not really something I can enforce. However, the Grand Fleet Commander of the 85th Grand Fleet does wish to talk with you, Justicar, and myself about what just occurred."
"And you believe him?" she exclaimed.
"He sent transcripts of the message he sent to one Elder Solei, asking him to cease his actions before it was too late."
"Even the Alliance can make deepfakes," Penny said.
"And do you think I would be ignorant of such things, child?" Kashaunta asked. "We have ways around those. That is why we still have a society after billions of years of time to screw it all up. Deepfakes are a problem of less advanced species and cultures, not those with the tools to handle them."
"Which are AIs, which you also ban throughout the galaxy."
"Yes."
"Isn't that hypocritical?"
"Yes, it is," Kashaunta said. "You can go and complain to the Judges who decided that if you wish, though asking them to think of the children instead of preserving the power of the entire Sprilnav species will get you laughed at by a billion mouths."
Penny felt something in her mind take offense to Kashaunta's wording. It didn't feel like it was part of her, but it also did. The shock of all the lives lost hit her again, making her scowl.
"So there will be nothing done?" Penny growled.
"No. Prepare for a neutral and level-headed discussion. If you wish to have any seat at a table such as this, you will conduct yourself with decorum. You will not accuse Elder Valisada of being responsible for whichever fool did this, and you most certainly will not baselessly claim that Yasihaut is at fault for this, even if it is likely that she or her backers are. It is time you learn the lesson that all Elders have: there are always more Sprilnav. Recognize that this was a strike against you without casting aside all of your goodwill among those that matter."
"Those that matter," Penny mused. "Sometimes I forget what you are."
Kashaunta stepped forward, eyes narrowing. She let out a hiss.
"You saw a few thousand people die, and now you're back to the racism again? Grow up. People die all the time in this galaxy. You complain about the status quo. I would respect that, if you could stomach what is required to change it. Death will continue to run rampant, and you will be the reason more die no matter what you do. 760 sextillion Sprilnav, Penny. And you cry over ten thousand?
During the Source war, we sent two years olds to war. You don't get to slide back into comfortable dumb hatred of our species because of a few stupid people. Rest assured, if you ever get this Alliance-based order, you or your successors will become tyrants. There will be a human who has the power and will to start wars, and enact genocides, for functionally no reason. Need I remind you of World War Two, and World War Three? If you multiply the population of Humanity by a trillion, that means you'll get a trillion Pol Pots, or Hitlers, or Genghis Khans.
And a hell of a lot more dumb idiots in power, which ascribes most of the history of nearly every species in the galaxy. Notice how Valisada and I both fired on Solei once he decided to be an adult daycare nominee? Notice how Valisada has not fired at us, or Justicar, and is trying his best to start a constructive dialogue? People die in war, Penny. This is reality. And you cast your disdain onto me, the only Sprilnav keeping you alive in this place, because I happened to be born an Elder. But no. I'm still some alien, right? Just another dirty animal for you to kill when the Judgment ends."
Kashaunta's fury caught Penny off-guard. The Elder truly meant her words. Penny had deeply offended her, cracking open the facade she usually maintained. The smug feeling at having made Kashaunta go on such a tirade faded when she considered the circumstances. Maybe she had acted like a child. But she hadn't said anything truly deserving of such a furious tirade, had she?
Not unless her proclamation that she remembered 'what Kashaunta was' had an implication that she didn't understand. Kashaunta was a mass murderer, one who was more than willing to justify it when necessary. And she downplayed the fact that this attack was on Penny herself and on thousands of innocents on a Sprilnav planet where she was meant to be safe. This wasn't a pair of assassins in the night, slipping poison into water or dropping snakes into a bed. This was a much more insidious and terrifying evil. Penny had been powerless to stop it.
Penny knew she was right, but Kashaunta did not. Could she truly weigh her scant decades against Kashaunta's billions of years of age? Perhaps. Age was not wisdom, though it certainly could be experience. Kashaunta turned around and started to walk away. Sadly, Penny still needed her.
"I'm sorry, Kashaunta. I am... incredibly charged. I am very pissed right now. I am not apologizing for how I feel about this attack. I have every right to be upset, and I will remain so. I will not be bullied or cowed into submission, even by a thousand more tirades. There comes a point where something must be done. But if you are upset over what I said, then I would at least like an honest clarification why."
"Because you had showed me you could think like a person should. That you didn't see people's species anymore. That you were becoming less racist. And yet, when you are cut raw, you still see me as a Sprilnav Elder alone, and therefore complicit in this massacre I literally did everything I could to do stop before it worsened. You said you knew 'what I am' as if you'd forgotten that. And it is clear that you meant that you'd forgotten your belief that I am some dirty criminal Sprilnav, who deserves to be slaughtered in the dark for the crime of being born in her species.
You care more for the ash on Justicar than you do for what I have given you. Your simplistic view of reality would mean that if you could push a button to kill us Elders, you'd do it, robbing countless families of their loved ones, because you now remember 'what we are,' and are again regressing away from your previous growth."
"I am one person, Kashaunta. I don't understand why you care this much about me. But I can recognize that the message you received is one of terrible bigotry. I am suffering, every day, every week, that I remain in this god-forsaken place. It hurts for you to dismiss the people I care about, even for a moment, dying just because there are many of them. But that does not excuse what I said to you despite the death toll you carry on your own head. It was a half-truth."
Kashaunta laughed. "Do you know why I care so much about what you think, Penny? It is because you are the other aliens. All at once. The Alliance is the face of all things 'alien' in many places. Remember what conceptual energy is? Lecalicus told you, I believe. You represent more than just your own views. And if you're able to forgive a speeding space entity, but not me, then it shows that we will never have peace. That no matter what, this cycle of hatred will continue, and I will need to either build a new galaxy with aliens that don't hate us for our ancient crimes, or just figure out another way. You are the face of the rest of the galaxy, Penny. And you have just told me that you still hate me for being an Elder. After I thought you had changed."
"And you believe you are undeserving of such hatred?"
"Penny," Kashaunta said. "The Alliance didn't exist when many of these events happened. Some of your grievances are older than the mountains on Earth. You say you hate us for genocides that happened so long ago that they no longer hold any meaning. There is no compensation we can give to dead species on dead worlds. What you want is an alien species to hate and blame for all the universe's problems. Because it is easier to hate us than to confront reality. And we are the ones you have been told to hate."
"They were not small things. It was the deaths of trillions of people, Kashaunta."
"Yes. And it was wrong. I can understand that. But what do you think will happen when your Alliance, filled with people who hate us, takes over? You will see humans bombing Sprilnav schools, and the hivemind will do nothing, for it will share that hate. Acuarfar will abduct and torture us. Knowers will devour our children. And in the face of that? You would turn a blind eye, because it is too hard to solve with a simple fix. You will only propagate generational hatred, just as all the Alliances and Galactic Republics and Peace Unions did before you.
Because underneath your message of equality for all species is oppression and genocide for us, the villains in your little story. That is what happens in reality, once the benevolent dictators die. And you, who have lived with us, eaten with us, and talked with us, will sit upon your golden throne, and when I am brought before you, naked, bleeding, and in need of support, you will throw me away, because all I am to you is an Elder. That mindset is exactly what stands in the way of peace. It is why I stopped giving you aliens chances for so long. And having to argue this with you at all makes me think you may no longer be worth my effort."
More manipulation. Penny was ready to shout at her, but Nilnacrawla pulled her thoughts away from blind anger. And it did feel unnatural for her. Alien.
"This is not peace," Penny said. "This is war. And we are circumstantial allies. I will not become what you claim."
"I have sown the seeds of a thousand despots," Kashaunta said. "I recognize them when I see them because I have reaped the heads of a million more."
Penny sighed. She wanted to resist and continue arguing, but it wouldn't get her anywhere. Now that she had thought about it, she was unlikely to overturn a viewpoint set in a billion years of experiences. Perhaps Penny could explore this later, when she had time to properly process it all.
"Very well. I will go to this meeting of yours, and I will conduct myself with decorum. However, while I refuse to belittle or forget thousands of deaths, I am sorry that you feel this way."
"But you are not sorry about making me feel so."
"No," Penny replied. She suppressed her emotions more, taking the time to carefully consider her words. Kashaunta was wrong and oddly sensitive right now. Saying the wrong thing could damage far more than their mutual feelings. As much as she wanted to win this argument, Kashaunta was who she was. She was the alien dictator keeping the Alliance alive.
"We are both right in some ways, and perhaps we might be both wrong, too. This only shows how tough the road will be. We at least are consciously trying to come to an understanding. But for the billions of Alliance citizens, quintillions of aliens, and sextillions of Sprilnav? It is a gargantuan task. And... right now, I don't think it is possible."
"It isn't," Kashaunta said. "And it won't be for thousands of years. But we don't get some neat little time skip to wait and solve all of our problems for us. Change will start only when we make it."
Kashaunta was throwing her a bone, then. They both knew the argument couldn't continue right now.
"So we have an understanding, then," Penny said. "Hatred will remain, but it must be minimised. That way, cultural and social pressure will eventually stamp it out, and we may have peace."
"No. We will have a truce, which will only become peace with much more work. The Alliance is a nation that is 24 years old. Only a single generation has grown up within it. Negotiations will be hard with so many who remember the hatred. But Valisada is not like other Sprilnav. He will seek to bring a hybrid war to you and the Alliance, unless you can convince him that you truly mean to bridge the divide. You are clearly misguided, but have a genuinely good heart. That will make life hard for you. Your words today would have spelled the death of you and the Alliance, had I not established this shield around us to hide them. Out of the spirit of our friendship, I will not request a favor in return for this boon."
"Thank you, Kashaunta. Though I'm not sure I can consider you a friend."
"The fact that you bothered to listen to my side of things, in this limited aspect, despite the hurt you must feel right now, proves otherwise. I am well aware of my past crimes, Penny. I know that my emotions today were a weakness I should have been able to seal, and that you will still see me for who I was, and not who I am. I know how it sounds for me, a killer and a ruler, to be upset at being confronted. But that is how I am. I still have my pride as an Elder, and there is only so far it can be pushed. Who I was certainly would qualify as beyond evil. But to remain at the top, there are limits to how far you can swing into benevolence.
I cannot atone. Do not try to make me repay debts that you don't own. If you are ever to have more Elders on your side, whether Progenitors or otherwise, you will need to learn to deal with this. There will be people with death tolls higher than the population of the Alliance, who were once the heart of evil and are now at least acceptable. The first step will be recognizing that, yes, we are in fact friends, despite my history. Because only from friendship and understanding can hope come."
"I will think about this more. My feelings about this, and about you, have not yet solidified."
"I was wrong for what I said to you, Penny. We are both on edge, and said things that we didn't properly express. We should get our heads in order before re-entering this argument with logic instead of emotions."
"I agree. I will go and see who I can save. And I will think more about this. I freed people from slavery, and watched them die today. Respectfully, I must spend some time away from you for now."
Penny left the ship. In something near her subconscious, anger remained. When she landed in the rubble once again, she missed a small but steady stream of conceptual energy wafting into her from below.

[First Contact] [Dark Ages] [First] [Prev] [Next] [wiki]
"Any other species having been all but wiped out would eventually die. Even if they had the numbers for a genetically stable population, depression and ennui would carry them away.
"The Mad Lemurs of Terra though, they looked it as just one more thing to scream and rave against.
"None of us should have been surprised they returned."- Former Grand Most High Sma'akamo'o, from I Have Ridden the Hasslehoff
Sitting on the armored limousine, Violet Flowers Line Paths to Peace watched as the vehicle left the spaceport. He was looking around at everything, taking in what people were wearing, what they were doing. Vehicles, air traffic, everything.
Any other planet that Violet had been too, the Empire of Kitira would be seen as hyper-aggressive, prone to violence, and a powder keg waiting to happen. The fact that the majority of citizens were armed. There were air defense positions everywhere around the star port, with, from what Violet's limited military knowledge told him, extensive sensor systems and targeting systems.
The road showed waving fields of grain and vegetables. He was surprised to see that the fields were being worked by actual people, in brightly colored clothing, rather than robots.
When he saw the sign, which his contact lens translated for him, it suddenly made sense.
"NAKASERO TRADITIONAL FRESH PRODUCE!" as well as "WHY EAT NUTRIFORGE WHEN YOU CAN EAT TRADITIONAL FOODS?" was hand painted on a wooden sign. There were women in bright clothing carrying baskets of woven fiber filled with vegetables. They would move to very modern vehicles before placing the baskets in the back seat.
They do not have to live such lives, they choose to, he thought.
He had studied the nutriforge, creation engine, and matter forge. It was a Terran invention, from even before they managed to achieve superluminal flight They had managed to crack the riddle of energy to mass, mass to energy, with minimal loss during the transfer. As near as he could tell they managed to achieve matter transmission at roughly the same time.
He nodded as he saw another produce area go by. This time it was healthy trees heavily laden with fruit, with living people tending to it, all in the same types of outfits.
The nutriforge freed billions from the work to eat cycle, yet they have people out working to create food, he thought.
More heavily armed citizens.
None of them seemed too curious about the stingwings flying low and slow, the grav strikers, or the armored convoy. Sure, a few people stared for a moment or two, but the majority seemed to just glance then go back to what they were doing.
The vehicles got on a highway.
Armored convoys appeared to be standard. He saw more than a few go by, all of them with heavy security. Some were labeled, personal, political, or corporate. Others were blank, or just had security services on them.
Even individual vehicles seemed heavily armored and armed.
He remembered the sign from the starport.
"BEYOND THIS POINT, YOU HAVE CONSENTED TO BEING RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR OWN SAFETY"
He had checked.
Earth, Terra, whatever name (He was fond of Tellus), was not a single unified nation that encompassed the planet.
Instead, it was nation states, some of which still competing along esoteric definitions. Some of them were actively at war to the point that there were no less than eleven ongoing conflicts involving military forces.
He had looked. During the fifty years that Terra had been in the Bag, Terra had gone from 123 nation states to 85 back up to 90, down to 87, up to 113, down to 92, and was now at 126 nation states.
Civil wars, absorbing other nations through armed conflict, balkanization, and other means of splitting and combining.
It seemed to be a fairly frequent occurrence on Tallus, for nations to divide, combine, even return from history. There were more than a few nations that were destroyed through warfare or absorbed by their neighbors that then returned.
Violet was glad that he had examined Dreams memoir on her time on Tellus, as well as observations of other leaders
Terrans were adept at conflict, to other observers and their writing it appeared to be a Terran's natural state.
Violet had looked over Tellus history books as his craft had moved in, understanding their history meant everything.
He realized his mistake now.
For the rest of the universe, it was over thirty thousand years, over forty thousand years, since the brutal war between Tellus and a variant Hive of Mantid. He had noted to himself to read up on that conflict as well as communicate with Hive Home diplomatic services to find out exactly what had happened.
Not the official story, but the reality.
He knew how it was easier to let records fade away that contained embarassing facts.
It was never easy to admit that your entire species had been wrong, had been terrible, had been evil.
He knew the shame.
His own people had a dark time, when the original Omniqueen had taken them over after they had found the way to enlightment. How the Omniqueen and her servants had devoured so many of his people's friends. How only a carefully orchestrated rebellion and stellar geometry had allowed them to break free of the Omniqueen.
He carried a slight bit of shame.
Speakers, in antiquity, were powerful psychics, flush with phasic energy. They could control entire planets through their mastery of psychic energy and psychic domination.
That was then.
Over the millions of years his people had changed.
This is now.
No longer could he reach out. No longer could he exert his will over others.
He was truly a Speaker. He spoke for even the smallest of the castes, spoke for the voiceless, spoke in the voice of the Overqueen.
But he could not put his thoughts into the minds of others.
For tens of millions of years, his kind could hear others.
But they used their voice to speak.
It was an honor to be a Speaker. To use his voice to speak for those who used psychic powers to speak. To be able to arbitrate between peoples who could not hear one another due to psychic wavelengths without invading their mind.
The silence and privacy of one's own mind was paramount.
Eloquence was a gift from the universe to the Speakers of his people.
He turned from his musing, watching the fertile land sweep by as the ship approached the city of Captain Alex's Rest. The skyrakers were lit up, lights twinkling. It looked almost like a fairy tale city. Holograms flickered and danced, making it look like the city was sparkling.
He nodded to himself.
He had dealt with primates before. They could be touchy, but usually they were placid, slow to move, slow to anger. The ones that were not usually never got beyond hunter-gatherer or destroyed themselves, at the latest, in an orgy of atomic hellfire.
Not the Terrans.
He looked down at his datapad, checking the updated information. The files from Smokey Cone and Hivehome had arrived during the ride.
Petabytes of data.
He sighed and looked back out of the window.
There would be complaints lodged by his staff toward Diplomatic Services once he arrived at his lodging. It was an unacceptable oversight that Diplomatic Services had sent him completely unprepared beyond a scant few biographies and documentaries. While others may point at the tens of thousands of years that had gone by, Mantid and Lanaktallan and Treana'ad databases handled millions, tens of millions of years of data without losing it due to file degredation.
True, the Lanaktallan databases had issues with file indexing due to the sheer amount of data they kept, but it should have been easy to get the data Violet had needed.
The city was busy, with a dizzying array of colorful or drab clothing. He saw beings of many different species on the streets.
He idly wondered if skin, hair, or eye color denoted castes to the Terrans.
A quick check showed that in antiquity it had.
Ah, yes, the 'The Other Syndrome', many species suffered under it, he thought, reading some it.
Again, he noted how Terran history was full of impossibilities.
He had been made aware of Terran temporal warfare countermeasures. He had been aware of the fact that the Terrans did not care that it might not be their true history, it was true to them and that was all that mattered.
This is going to be difficult, he thought to himself.
His datapad beeped and Violet looked down at it.
The Diplomatic Corps had decided that his datapad was secure and his security clearances were high enough for a file marked immediate priority to be sent to him.
He read it.
He read it again.
And again.
The file detailed what the actual problem was.
He had been sent due to the fact that the Terrans had been in The Bag for over thirty thousand years local for the rest of the galaxy, but only fifty local for them. That when they had vanished into The Bag, the enemy had been the Lanaktallan and the Atrekna (now extinct), as well as the Unified Council and the Precursor Autonomous War Machines.
Now the enemy was the Mar-gite, whoever was facillitating them, two unknown groups, and a handful of smaller, newer, aggressive and energetic species on the fringes of Confederate Space, usually in the Long Dark.
The real reason for the diplomatic urgency was, well, to put it in layman's terms...
mind blowing.
He had read about the Terran rebirth system, largely considered to be a legend or a myth by most beings. That a dead human could be resurrected via a neural mapping copy within minutes or hours.
Recently, upon leaving The Bag, the TerraSol Gestalt had let it slip that the system to perform neural mapping and impressing for Terrans had been applied to all the other races. That trillions of non-Terran beings were in what was being listed as "AFTERLIFE (SUDS)" and "AFTERLIFE (ACTIVE)", dwelling in some kind of user specific paradise with full interaction.
Several Gestalts, and soon afterwards, governments demanded access to the dead. Many wanted them to solve problems, to give interviews to curious academics, to answer for crimes (real or imagined), to solve manpower shortages.
The TerraSol Gestalt, and the Solarian government refused.
Violet nodded. He agreed with the assessment that what was desired was nothing more than slavery.
He agreed with the meme that showed someone living miserably, dying, and a government worker pulling them out of the grave and putting them back to work in misery. Many of the memes ended with "Not even death is a respite. What do you have to lose?"
He nodded. That was understandable. In some nation-states, the government had become malevolent. The idea that you could not escape, even in death, from state enforced bondage, was horrifying. The ethical implications were staggering.
Violet understood their anger. Not personally, not based on personal experience, but intellectually and through observation.
A being could be brought back again and again to serve 'the needs of the People/State' and their work would never be finished.
It was eternal slavery.
The datacomp beeped and he checked it. His arrival and his image had appeared on social media sites despite the attempt at a blackout. Many Terrans were upset that he was present on Tellus. A few of the memes and postings referred to fighting in the Human-Mantid War. Many of those were aggressive toward his person.
Violet thought about it as the car entered the city itself.
From what he had read on the Sentience Uninterrupted Disaster System, those beings may have been killed during the Human-Mantid War and just recently rebirthed.
Their memories of a war over forty-thousand years ago for him were only years old.
Violet made an annotation on his datapad to give a speech that would state that his Hive had never encountered Terrans before. Terran Descent Primates, yes.
His homeworld and worlds of his nation had millions of Terran Uplifted Primates as citizens. He had grown up knowing, respecting, and having affectionate relations with many of the Primates of the Overqueens.
It would complicate things that the Human-Mantid War was within living memory for millions of the Terrans.
Still, Violet enjoyed a challenge. It was merely a challenge to his overarching goal.
Finding common ground for the returning Solarian Military Directorate and the rest of the Confederacy.
Violet found the outrage that Terrans felt at the idea of the consent of the deceased being revoked for 'Needs' to be perfectly understandable, logical, and a sign of empathy.
The threats of violence were not because they did not see the others as equals.
It was because those equals were attempting to strip away one of the driving motives of the Terrans.
Consent.
Looking through the historical timeline on his dataslate, Violet looked over the times that advanced nations had revoked consent through various machinations.
It always ended in bloodshed.
Well, not entirely. Sometimes it ended at the voting box.
He found it interesting that in the Hamburger Kingdom, a being's consent could be revoked if they were nominated for public office, which was treated more like a punishment than anything else. In The Celestial Kingdom lands consent was guarded by the Emperor, who ensured the rapacious and scheming Lesser Divines could not strip away the consent of the Beloved Ones, which was the name for the common person.
The vehicle slowed, moving through heavily armed checkpoints.
There were already protestors waving signs telling him to leave or die.
That was all right. He had experienced that before.
"We will ensure your security is at high alert at all times," The leader of his personal guard said.
Violet just nodded as the limo moved onto the secure estate grounds. It came to a stop and a Terran military warborg opened the door carefully.
"We have arrive, sir," the warborg stated.
"Indeed," Violet said, climbing out of the limo.
He breathed deep, slowly, as he headed for the diplomatic residence.
He had a lot of work to do.
HAT WEARING AUNTIE
Oops.
--- NOTHING FOLLOWS ---
TREANA'AD HIVE WORLDS
Oops? What's oops?
Define "oops", sis.
--- NOTHING FOLLOWS ---
HAT WEARING AUNTIE
Nothing. It's fine. It'll be fine.
...
...
Probably.
---NOTHING FOLLOWS---
LANAKTALLAN FREE HERD
Not precisely an explanation that inspires confidence. The last 'oops' we had, an entire stellar system exploded.
Define 'oops', if you would.
--- NOTHING FOLLOWS ---
HAT WEARING AUNTIE
It's fine. It's all fine. We're not at war. All good.
We're all good here. We have a-a oops here, uh, now. Give us a few minutes to lock it down. Uh, little oops, not very dangerous.
---NOTHING FOLLOWS---
RIGEL
We're at war on several fronts, what do you mean we-
Wait. Is this about TerraSol? I thought you were sending diplomats to talk to them.
WHAT DID YOU DO?!
---NOTHING FOLLOWS---
HAT WEARING AUNTIE
I did send diplomats! One of our best! You've all met him. He's perfect for the job.
He's one of the best, highly skilled.
It's just... I might have forgotten that he's a Speaker...
--- NOTHING FOLLOWS ---
TREANA'AD HIVE WORLDS
You sent. A speaker. To TerraSol.
A speaker.
To a TerraSol that is already jumpier than a hatchling after six cones.
To a TerraSol that is manifestly angry.
To a TerraSol that has probably invalidated most of our war fighting tech and techniques in the last five decades while they've been in The Bag and we've had a thirty thousand and some odd year head start?
The same ones who wrote "AVENGE US DOT DOC"?
You sent a speaker there?
--- NOTHING FOLLOWS ----
HAT WEARING AUNTIE
Yes. Look, it's fine. He's still alive. We haven't had a second incident. Just... close, is all.
The Terrans calmed down.
So, you know...
Oops.
---NOTHING FOLLOWS ---
RIGEL
Oops indeed.
At least a couple hundred systems aren't burning.
--- NOTHING FOLLOWS---
[First Contact] [Dark Ages] [First] [Prev] [Next] [wiki]

[First Contact] [Dark Ages] [First] [Prev] [Next] [wiki]
"A human is born in pain. They live in pain. They die in pain.
"And they're willing to inflict that pain thrice upon anyone who they determine to be the enemy.
"Because the enemy exists only to be destroyed." - Former Grand Most High Sma'akamo'o, from his autobiogrpahy entitled: I Have Ridden the Hasslehoff, New Telkan Press, Post Second Precursor War
Mantids were often known for poetic names, and he was no exception. With the name Violet Flowers Line Paths to Peace, and he had recently brokered a peace deal between several long time warring faction of Telkan in the Telkan Systems. He had brought an end to a six hundred year on again off again war that had consumed millions but had never outright moved to total war. All parties had been satisfied and felt that the deal was more than fair and all factions had come away better off than they had been.
Part of the senior diplomatic negotiators for the Confederacy of Aligned Systems Diplomatic Corps, Violet had dealt with some of the most dangerous beings and organization in the galactic spur and managed to bring about peace between all of the factions.
Even more impressive, people of all species genuinely liked him.
The flotilla that carried him and his diplomatic team had been in hyperspace when everyone had heard it.
LET THE UNIVERSE SHAKE IN THE WRATH OF TERRASOL
The flotilla had immediately dropped from hyperspace and then made a least-time journey to the nearest friendly system with a needlecaster. It had been a trip of less than 40 hours. He had immediately communicated to Diplomatic Services that he was standing by and that he would make a least-time hyperspace multi-leg route toward the TerraSol Restricted Zone.
Sixty hours ago he had been in an older system, at the edge of old TerraSol Restricted Space. His diplomatic flotilla around the outer gas giant, taking on mass, when he had received an urgent communique.
TERMINATE ALL CURRENT AND FUTURE EFFORTS AND ASSIGNEMENTS
STAND BY FOR NEW ASSIGNMENT
He had to admit, he had been somewhat apprehensive.
Worrying, Violet had returned to his quarters to watch H'Relp the Moo Moo Tender Power Hour and eat popcorn, trying not to worry about what this next assignment would be.
When the orders were brought to him, he raised an antenna and knew that he was about to face the most challenging assignment of his career.
Of any diplomat's career.
He was to proceed immediately to TerraSol. He would engage in diplomatic negotiations after an international incident, as well as the current geopolitical landscape, had led to TerraSol withdrawing from the Gestalt system as well as closing the gates on what few embassies that they had already staffed.
The first thing Violet did was request from "We Live Here Now and Enjoy This Place as a Bastion of Goodness" home-system all data from the last decade of Confederate/Terran interactions.
Records were nearly eighteen hours returning, via priority needlecast.
True, the station resented that his diplomatic authority gave him near total exclusive access to the needlecaster, but a few overtures and concessions in authority ensured that the station personnel felt as if it was to their benefit that his diplomatic team was using their needlecaster.
The big one was he ordered his flotilla to upgrade and perform maintenance on the needlecaster so that it could serve his needs, taking it from the Diplomatic Corps' budget rather than the system's budget.
Once he had the relative data, transmitted from the venerable Free Mantid States "Hive Home", he began to peruse it even as the flotilla got underway again.
The most pertinent data was from a Gold Caste mantid from Diplomatic Services, during the opening phases of the Confederacy/Council Conflict over forty-thousand years prior.
He watched Dreams of Something More's personal logs, paying close attention to her details on TerraSol and Terran Descent Humans. He admired her abdominal wrap, the robe she wore on her thorax, her love of interesting looking hats, and her attitude.
She had toured TerraSol before her deployment to the Lanaktallan Council territory.
He paid personal attention to the data on Terrans.
They were a primate species. Extremely aggressive in all areas, including scientific and technological advancement. They alternated between hyperviolence and overwhelming pacifist attitudes.
He took note of Dreams's observation that polling 10,000 Terrans would give you 11,001 opinions.
It became obvious that he would have to be careful. The Terrans had been xenocided during a war for survival against the Lost Precursor Species. The survivors scattered across the galaxy and now lost. Their homeworld, home system, had been turned into a prison.
They had been trapped for just over fifty years while nearly 40,000 years had gone by for the rest of the universe.
That meant that Mantid diplomatic envoys present in the TerraSol system would be trained and experienced.
Those were his best resource, if he could convince them to work with him and if they had not gone native.
However, examining *Dreams of Something More'*s biography and writings, 'going native' appeared to be unaviodable when dealing with Terran Descent Humans.
He made note of that, also.
The flotilla dropped from hyperspace only eight light-days from the Solarian System. It received instructions, to be followed to the letter, for the hyperspace microjumps they were to make to approach TerraSol.
Violet nodded. The Terrans would be wary, still on wartime footing for a war that had only been a few decades behind them and they could not be sure was not still raging when they came out.
He instructed the diplomatic team to be as passive as possible.
His guards were told to keep their weapons in storage mode and unloaded, with the breaches open to show that there were no rounds in the chamber.
He examined the images of the planets as his ship made the sixty hour trip to TerraSol.
The ninth planet appeared to be wrapped in huge chains, with large canyons with lava burning in the depths. It was named after a Terran religious figure who ruled the underworld as well as a strange looking canine owned by an anthropomorphic mouse.
The gas giants were blurry to his ship's sensors, evidence of heavy masking. He stood in an observation blister and stared at the nearest one. It glimmered and gleamed.
Either extraction yards or shipyards.
He was willing to bet both.
The satellite of Terra was massive, named Luna. Lights glimmered on the surface, whole cities on the surface, uncaring of the vacuum.
Terra itself was lit up. The population metrics were odd, with over a billion Lanaktallan in residence as full citizens.
When he saw that one was a politician, he looked up footage.
It was a Hamburger Kingdom Senate session, debating on whether or not Terra should involve itself in the current war against the Mar-gite. A Senator was claiming that it would be centuries before the Mar-gite could threaten Earth (Another name for Terra, it seemed to have nearly 30 names, some quite poetic) so there was no reason to engage in the conflict.
The Lanaktallan signaled that he wished to speak and was granted five minutes.
The Lanaktallan, one Ba'ahn Ya'ahrd, stood up and stated: "Allow me to present my constituents' rebuttal" as the other Senator smirked.
The Lanaktallan drew a pistol from the holster at his waist and began shooting at the other Senator, who dove behind a table.
After eight shots, the Lanaktallan sat down.
"I cede my time and further ammunition to the next speaker," he stated.
That required hours of examination.
Violet was somewhat shocked to see that duels with swords, bladearms, knives, bare hands, pistols, even high speed vehicle races, were common methods of resolving disagreements all over TerraSol.
Still, he was glad when the flotilla was given permission to land.
He made sure he was wearing a Charlie the Moo Moo abdominal wrap, a jacket from "Jak the Telkan" series clothing line, nifty boots with curled toes that had bells on the curls, as well as a Moo Moo Tender hat.
He informed his staff to dress comfortably but professionally as the ship's captain sounded the all-clear.
True, the Captain had had misgivings at the amount of firepower surrounding the ship, but Violet was sure it was just precautionary, born of having been imprisoned during the war tens of thousands of years ago.
The ramp lowered and Violet motioned his subordinates forward.
"Show no aggression, even if you are subjected to primate threat displays," Violet said. "There has been a grave diplomatic mistake and international incident. Let us not compound problems."
His guards nodded.
The black mantids rushed down the ramp, taking up positions. They didn't like that they were only allowed their bladearms free, their weapons locked down behind their backs. Still, they gathered up in the traditional formation to protect the ship.
Large Terran warborgs moved up to face the black mantids.
Violet nodded. Just like the historical documentaries and Dreams of Something More's writings. He had to admit, they were more fearsome appearing in person than on video.
He adjusted the psychic shielding headband under his hat to ensure he was properly protected. All of the documentation had warned of Terran psychic power, both the strength and the unpredictability of it.
The golds moved down next. They moved up and the Terran Descent Human diplomatic team moved forward.
Violet listened as the greetings were exchanged.
The Terrans were glad to see the golds.
The golds were glad to see the Terrans.
The Terrans hoped the current difficulties could be dealt with in a professional and civilized manner.
The golds agreed and hoped their efforts would enable such a resolution.
The Terrans asked if the golds were ready to go someplace more conducive to diplomatic negotiations.
The golds deferred, instead making an introduction.
"Presenting, the lead diplomatic, Senior Diplomatic Attaché and Plenipotentiary, Violet Flowers Line the Path to Peace," the head of the Gold delegation stated, making a sweeping gesture with her bladearms.
Violet motioned for his guards to flank and follow him and moved down the ramp.
The effect of his appearance was immediate.
The warborgs all went to live weapons. Half of them went down on one knee, deploying heavy weapons. Sensors, lasers, and ranging devices painted over Violet and his guards.
"SPEAKER!" the lead Terran delegate bellowed out, grabbing for the pistol on his hip.
"WARRIORS!" someone else yelled.
"What?" Violet asked, turning around. "What?"
Stingwings were taking off, weapons were deploying to aim at the ship. Warborgs were changing position, taking up obvious offensive and defensive positions. The entire Terran Descent Human delegation had drawn weapons or were getting behind warborgs which were moving forward.
Violet shrunk back, confusion and fear filling him.
"I don't udnerstand, what did I do?" he asked, his antenna and legs trembling.
"DON'T FUCKING MOVE, BUG!" the lead Terran diplomat shouted, leveling a pistol at him. "I'LL FUCKING SPLATTER YOU, I SWEAR ON DAXIN'S WARSTEEL BALLS!"
"What did I do?" Violet asked. He waved at the warriors. "Please, my bladearms and hands up, there has been some misunderstanding."
Violet felt fear and dismay, his gut churning, as dismay filled him. His very appearance was causing the Terrans to react violently.
"Please, I have done nothing, there's no need for violence," Violet said, holding his bladearms and hands up.
For a long moment the only sound was the hum of grav-lifters and the sounds of birds.
"You're a fucking speaker," the lead Terran Diplomat said, his voice harsh and full of barely restrained violence. "Surrounded by Menhit cursed Warriors. On Terra."
"Yes," Violet said. "I am a fully accredited diplomat, originally hailing from the We Live Here Now and Enjoy This Place as a Bastion of Goodness systems before entering the Confederate Diplomatic Corps and being assigned to Diplomatic Services. I bring the greeting of the Confederacy of Aligned Systems, which you knew as the Terran Confederacy of Aligned Systems."
"Do you have any idea what happened here?" the lead diplomat said, his voice sounding like he was speaking with grinding plates.
"The Terran Xenocide Event and the events of the Second Precursor War sealed you in here after sustaining a full frontal attack by the Lanaktallan Unified Council's martial forces," Violet said. "May my guards and I lower our hands and bladearms?"
"We aren't worried about your hands or bladearms," the diplomat said. "We remember what Speakers can do."
"I am capable of listening to the other castes and collate their concerns, desires, and wishes to the Overqueens. I act as both the voice of the Queens and the voice of the common Mantid," Violet said. He combed his antenna. "My abilities are honed well enough I can listen to an immature green mantid worker caste tell me that the school is stealing the good turkey gravy for themselves and billing his parents."
The diplomat blinked slowly. "That's not how we saw you last."
Violet nodded, suddenly understanding. "Oh, you refer to the Human-Mantid War. The First and Second intergalactic conflicts between your two nations."
The human nodded.
Violet combed his antenna. "Such a terrible thing," he said softly. "To be led astray by your own queen, who you have entrusted with your very soul. To have queens and speakers feed upon your misery, that they inflict, rather than share in your joy and bliss of living a life full of wonder and safety."
He shook his head. "We too, my people, labored under such a terrible Omniqueen. A fearsome and terrible being, who enslaved our queens, who devoured our people, who literally feasted upon the flesh of the species that were our friends."
Two of the warriors nodded.
"We had moved past such vileness, when the Omniqueen arrived and enslaved us," Violet said softly. "Only, unlike the Mantid of Mantid Prime, we had no Terrans to liberate us through force of arms," he made sure to flash symbols of sorrow and embarrassment between his antenna and with his body language. "My ancestors fought, bitterly, against the tyranny of the Omniqueen and only stellar geometry saved us. Not just the Mantid, but our friends too."
The guns were lowering.
"If my presence is disturbing to your people, I can withdraw," he pointed at the lead gold mantid. "Finds Peace in the Maelstrom is perfectly capable of acting as an intermediary between our people."
The diplomat stood for a long moment. Finally he inhaled slowly and let the breath out all in a rush.
Violet knew that what the Terran had done signified he had made a difficult decision that he might regret later and felt anxiety that the decision might be a critical error.
"Things have changed outside The Bag," he said slowly. He motioned and the warborgs stepped back. The scanning and targeting systems switched off. "Your name is Violet then?"
Violet nodded. "Yes, and I greet you."
"I greet you too."
[First Contact] [Dark Ages] [First] [Prev] [Next] [wiki]