Scholarship motivation for letter cse

OK, Ok Hear me out. I Know, I know that the Secret Ending reveals the Foretellers returning and calling Xigbar Luxu. I know this happens, but...BUT WHAT IF THAT ISN'T LUXU? WHAT IF ITS BRAIN?
Hear me out I know this seems insane but I have some reason to think this.

1. Xigbar knows an awful lot about Ancient Keyblade wielders for someone who never directly participated in the Keyblade War. The man has some very strong opinions that the few cutscenes we see of him don't seem to match.
   
2. Xigbar's weirdness about Ventus. Xigbar gets these weird flashbacks about Ventus specifically when talking to Roxas and Sora and its weird? Luxu as far as we can tell, has never actually met Ven. While Brain was around for during the whole Ventus possessed by Darkness fight in Union X and has just been around Ven more in general certainly long enough to form an opinion.
   
3. Xigbar's lettering just works better: Brain - Bragi - Braig - Xigbar
   

So why would the Foretellers call him Luxu? Well, all of the Foretellers have read the Book of Prophecies which may indicate that Luxu was supposed to call them back at this exact location and/or they or the MoM made a plan for Luxu to do this way back before the Original Keyblade War. But it doesn't have to be Luxu. In fact, none of the Foretellers seem sure at all that it's Luxu. They don't initially believe him. ANd he never directly confirms it. All he says is that its still him underneath. Now we, and the Foretellers, assume that Luxu is making this assertion, but if Luxu taught Brain how to body hop its entirely possible he's playing with our assumptions because he never directly claims to be Luxu.
We know that Luxu approached Brain in the LifePod Room, and we know Brain told him he intended to be the virus in the system. The game fades to black before we see exactly how that scene resolves, but we also know from KH3 Secret Reports that Luxu did bequeath the Gazing Eye to a Union Leader which we assume to be Brain. We also know that Brain was standing in the Keyblade Graveyard with the Blackbox at the end of Union X, where we see Xigbar with it at the end of KH3.
But Brain is also in Scala ad Caelum before the start of Missing Link. So how does this all play out?
My theory is that Luxu takes Brain as his apprentice, teaches him about body hopping, bequeaths him the GOAT and the BB and leaves to either keep observing and make sure everything ends up where it needs to be in the end or tries to figure out where the MoM disappeared to.
The body hopper we've been seeing is Brain, moving from vessel to vessel, trying to figure out how to save the Dandelions. This makes some of KH3 make more sense. All the members of Org13 Sora meets up with are investigating the connections between Hearts and their bodies, and if people can be reconstructed from Data versions. Which would make sense if Brain intended to reconstruct the Dandelions using Replica bodies. And Brain intends to screw p the MoM's plan, lying to the Foretellers wouldn't be an issue.
As for why we see him in Scala ad Caelum in Missing Link- well there's no reason time travel only needs to go forward. Sora went backwords in KH3, so Brain could be doing the same.
So where is Luxu in all this? Well, I think at some point he becomes Luxord. Luxord is known as the "Gambler of Fate" His whole thing is that there is always a chance for the outcome to be different, which I think is a fitting motivation for an apprentice who originally WAS NOT GIVEN A COPY OF THE BOOK OF PROPHECIES. He's as blind as we are, which mean every choice he makes...is a gamble. Luxu was also just supposed to watch, and given that Xigbar seems to interfere with things every chance he gets, as well as the fact he does know things from the Book (a copy of which BRAIN RECEIVED AND READ) makes for an interesting twist. And we know both Luxord and Demyx have to part of the Ancient Keyblade Legacy somehow because Xemnas tells us as much in KH3 - and we already know who Marluxia and Laxrene are. And Luxord has largely BEEN an observer. He chimes in occasionally with commentary, but he's only ever fought Sora twice. Every other time he's let the Heartless or others do it. He also mentioned in POTC world he's always liked the 'Long Game'. And he's the only person to mention what the Black Box is said to contain, given
FYI This is part of why I subscribe to Demyx being the MoM theory. Of all of Org13 - Demyx and Luxord are the ones we don't really have backstories for yet. And given that Luxord never really treats Sora as an enemy, an opponent yes, but not an enemy, I have to wonder. Especially since he specifically gives Sora something (The Card) where no other organization member does that.
Also that custscene with him and Xigbar in ReMInd : "Yes that's what I've always done, followed the orders from above without question." - just, gives me Luxu vibes. That whole scene just gives me interrogation vibes - of Luxord is Luxu, then it really is all the same to him as long as everything ends up where it needs to be in the end.
TL:DR Xigbar is acyually Brain and Luxord is Luxu - Change my mind.
Also I expect Missing Link to completely disprove this once we get the whole thing, so take it with a grain of salt.

since I’ll be applying to transfer I’m kind of hoping i get a scholarship because I seen someone else do it and my gpa is 3.8 and I have multiple EC’s, community service , good writing skills, and bomb professors and non professors to write me a letter of recommendation. What else should I focus on ? My major is information systems I don’t have any good schools in my state for info systems that offers transfer students good aid packages .

I’ve been in band since sixth grade. I’ve always met just the bare minimum. I believe it’s because I’ve never really liked band, and it was just the most appealing choice I had at the time. Because I’ve never really liked band, I’ve only put 50% of the effort needed to become good. Now, after all this, I’m starting to reconsider whether that’s the reason why.
My parents have let me quit band next year up till now. Suddenly, they’ve changed their minds. Reason why I’m quitting is because I’ve already done band for five years, and I want to spend the time I would use doing marching band on things that I haven’t had the chance to experience yet. My parents argue that these things will always be an option for me in the future, whereas marching band will not.
I know this, but being told and reassured that I wouldn’t be doing band next year has given me so much relief. I became hopeful that I’ll finally have chances to do what I’ve really wanted to spend my time with that’s been taken up by band. I’ve completely reimagined my life without marching band, and it’s the most beautiful position I’ve seen myself in so far.
The reason they don’t want me leaving band is because of scholarships. The sole reason.
❕here’s why I don’t want to do band next year, but you may skip this part if you want to. ❕
I’ve been miserable in band, and have had the most worst experience in marching band. I had SEVERE personal issues my freshmen year, and I was never truly able to live in the moment during band. This year I am emotionally closer to myself, but we’ve got a new director, and things quickly went to 💩. I didn’t meet his expectations and was put into JV while also far surpassing the exceptions set for the majority of the JV team. Everyone said it was a mistake. I didn’t worry about it at first, because yeah, it was a mistake, so we’d expected it to be fixed.
I worked so so so hard each day to be noticed. I asked our director how to get out of JV. Join master classes and practice your positions outside of rehearsal. I did that, all while pestering him once every two weeks about when new placements would be arranged, because he reassured me multiple times that they would. I just needed him to know how serious I was about all this.
Our JV team marched within the same four corners throughout the whole show, casted off to one side of the field. We were never, not once acknowledged during rehearsals ever. everyone would fight with each other the whole rehearsal, and I’d never be able to get to my same six spots correctly with people goofing around next to me, blocking me off from getting to where I needed to be. We’d only perform during football games. We would do props during competitions, and hide behind the back screens so that we wouldn’t be seen by the audience, but also couldn’t watch our band perform at all. It felt like I was completely disconnected from the rest of the band. I needed to get out of this.
Eventually I got onto varsity, but not because I had “improved,” but because another kid’s grades on varsity were plummeting. That is the concrete reason why, I asked him.
So after all this throughout the course of four months, I became sad again, and generally upset with my life at the moment. Not depressed, not happy. I built a LOT of resentment against him, which I am actually having a meeting with him tomorrow about to figure it out, because he does genuinely want to know and improve. The resentment has come from the wrong place at the wrong time, inexperience with having dealt with this before and not knowing how to react, and the way he went about it. It’s just been a bit messy.
So with these experiences, I thought it’d be safe to say that I’d never want to do band ever again, and that that would be met. So I’m stuck here writing this, trying to decide whether or not I should save my emotional well being, or “tough it out,” and (potentially) get a scholarship
I’m worried that it is possibly the amount of psychical exertion that comes with marching band that has made these experiences worse, and that although I’ve had these experiences now, and I can respond more efficiently if they were to happen again, I might not be able to get through them because of exhaustion. I have dreams that I want to pursue now, and my creativity and motivation for creativity is completely crushed when I force myself through psychical things such as marching band. I’m worried that there’s just no way for me to win with marching. The psychical exhaustion translates to mental exhaustion, and I just don’t trust myself to be able to get through another year of it.
Please share with me anything that you think could help me reach a conclusion here. Thank you for reading. I understand that this is a heavy situation to come here for advice, but this is my last resort in terms of where I can post. Y’all probably understand the situation best.

Howdy! I just finished up my first year in the Texas A&M Engineering program as an out-of-state student and have enjoyed my time on campus so far. I chose A&M over other schools that also had amazing engineering programs for the campus culture and vibe that was significantly different from everywhere else I visited. I have no family members in Texas nor any family/friend connection to the school, so I am appreciative of everyone I have met so far, for the people I am to meet in the future, and those who make the Aggie experience the one it is! Especially for the fact that it makes me feel like I have a home outside of my home!
With campus culture aside, financially, I am in a bit of a pickle. I was aware of this issue before going to A&M, but it was a more of a gamble on whether this would play out my way properly, but one I was willing to take in order to be an Aggie. For context, I received 0 scholarships with my acceptance letter for attending the institution, and countered my offer to the financial aid office based on the fact I had a 35 on the ACT and was ranked in the top 4% of my high school class of about 550 students. With this in mind, the school gave me a mere $4000, and not per semester, in total. Meaning, only $500 per semester for 4 years when my tuition which costs about $19,000 per semester. Essentially, nothing. The reason I was able to attend A&M was only based on the fact that my grandparents had a college fund built up for me and that I won a bunch of scholarship competitions that paid off the first year. While I can work a job to pay for food and get some help regarding living expenses from my parents, we cannot afford to pay this on top of almost $40,000 of tuition per year. Even more so as I have 2 younger brothers that will soon attend college. I would have to go into debt next year – assuming I do not receive any additional scholarships – and this jeopardizes my life for about the next 15-20 years as I did want to attend grad school immediately after undergrad.
I initially took a gamble financially on this school as there is a policy that declares that out-of-state students can get an automatic in-state tuition waiver if a student receives $4000 of scholarship from the university. Not other organizations, just simply whatever scholarships are directly affiliated with Texas A&M, and I believe this is specifically through the University Scholarship Application. Prior to committing to the school, I thought that this would be a feasible threshold to obtain as I knew my work ethic and that I would do anything to alleviate the financial burdens of not only myself, but also my family and to give my younger brothers a chance to attend the college of their dreams. Regarding my stats, I would like to think I am a competitive student as I earned a 4.0 GPA, I was in an academic student organization related to my major, an additional academic club (not-related to major but just out of interest), and a sport/recreational club. However, while in Texas, I have learned the "state rivalry" between my home state of California and Texas is for some reason a real thing outside the internet. I am concerned that this rivalry, while sounding farfetched, may screw me out of reaching this $4000 threshold. To note, the only scholarships that apply to the $4000 threshold are ones that are deemed as "competitive scholarships." Meaning, scholarships where not only a pool of out-of-state are being considered, or only in-state, but rather both groups being viewed in the same pool of applicants for a scholarship. The only reason I voice this concern is because this legit happened in the past to me with the stats I had in high school before coming to A&M. I have heard stories from other out-of-state students (from different states than mine and similar stats in high school) have either their out-of-state tuition waived or had a full tuition/ride scholarship given to them by the university. Furthermore, with Texas pride as a probable bias toward those on scholarship committees, I am concerned I will not be even fairly evaluated as a majority of the money will just be given to less or equally competitive individuals due the fact their families currently reside in Texas. This also was a common occurrence I ran into at Texas A&M, as a good amount of in-state students received something from the school prior to attending the university.
I would also like to note that obtaining residency in the state would not necessarily be the difficult part, it would be for the school to recognize me as an in-state resident for tuition purposes. With all this in mind, here are my questions below that I have.

1. What are the odds I have at receiving the threshold of $4000 to get the in-state waiver?
2. If I don't receive the $4000 threshold, I will likely be only able to pay for another semester maximum without going into the trenches of student debt. What would be the best course of action from here? Do I go back to my local community college and then see if I can transfer with scholarship to an in-state university? Do I stick it out at A&M and go into debt or potentially go to a community college in Texas, obtain residency, then transfer back?

I apologize for the long post, and I will take any helpful advice into consideration!
Thanks and Gig 'Em!

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This is my second ever time going to SNM. I wrote up about my first time and how magical it was and I'm so glad I got to go again because let me tell y'all I somehow managed to have an entirely new experience this time.
I got the Oz Guest ticket to ensure I got an Ace card, and I was the first one off the elevator. I was dropped off on the 5th floor, alone, which was quite creepy with all the hospital beds and tubs and the forest. There was no one for several minutes, and I was disoriented and couldn't find the stairs or any way out. I drifted between the tub room and the forest, and eventually a nurse appeared in the tub room. I observed her wringing clothes in water, and draping them across the tubs, staging them like they were people. This process was slow and I heard a noise in the distance so I followed that into the forest, where I saw one other guest watching the cottage in the forest. I noticed finally that there was actually a nurse inside, eyes closed, only visible from one angle so I hadn't seen her when I passed earlier.
With nothing else to do, I stood there watching for what seemed like ages. Surely, at some point, she would do something? It was so long that I thought for sure I was missing a lot of the show. I wondered if it was worth it. I wondered what the other guest was wondering. A few others passed us, but no other characters for the longest time. Then a bell chimed, and the nurse finally opened her eyes. She looked out at us, stood, and....closed the window. At this point I was sure I had just wasted my time. I was debating leaving. But no one else was moving. But surely, this was a waste of time. I turned to leave, and suddenly the nurse from the tub room appeared, crying, and the nurse inside the cottage opened the window to observe her. I must say the lighting here was excellent, but then the lighting in this show continuously impresses me. I have never been a lighting nerd but this show has made me realize how impactful lighting can be to a show. It's used masterfully in many scenes.
But back to the show. The nurse finally came out, and touched hands with the other nurse. They walked. I walked. We all wove through that forest, until the tub nurse ran suddenly, and we were running too, and then we were locked out from a gate. The tub nurse appeared in a window to the tub room, and danced as we watched. This small dance seemed to me like she was on the edge of a cliff, and her grief took her over as she fell suddenly off the edge. Not fell, leaped. I read this scene as a woman tortured by grief taking her own life, while a friend? Colleague? Observed.
Then my cottage nurse turned and walked slowly back to her cottage. She opened the door a crack, and turned, staring at me. I stepped closer. She opened it further. Cautiously, I stepped inside. She closed the door behind us. What transpired next was a magical experience I will not soon forget, with the taste of tea on my lips and whispered words about a moon like decayed bark and a sun like a wilted sunflower and stars like flies pinned to place. Blood will have blood...
I left and there was no one outside the cottage or indeed in the forest at all. I made my way through it and the tub room and finally found another hallway. I'm going to be honest, I do forget where I wandered then, and I may definitely be mixing up the order in which the following scenes happened because the night was a fever dream. But I witnessed scenes I did not see the first time I went last month. Somehow, by luck, other than the ending scene and the rave I did not see any duplicate scenes.
I saw the porter - who I don't think I ever encountered last time - and his dance in the hotel lobby is my new favorite. It's so full of raw joy, and though he was clearly an older man he danced with boyish jubilance that was infectious. More than a few of us observers were absolutely dancing along with him as we watched. I also found his interactions with the Boy Witch fascinating and their choreography at the telephones was my favorite by far.
The Boy Witch was another character I only saw in the ballroom and the rave last time, but who I witnessed several scenes with this time around. He's far too fast for me to follow, but I was lucky enough to be in the right place at the right time several times throughout the show. It was the same actor as last time, and I have to saw I think he plays the character really well. He's clearly sought after by everyone he encounters, seducing and drawing people in. I loved every scene with him almost as much as the Porter. Also, is the snake tattoo his or his characters? It's really beautiful, either way.
I saw two very intimate scenes with the Bald Witch, who I wondered how I missed last show but found out I didn't - she wears a wig through part of the show 😅 The little room she cleans up in a few times throughout the show off the side of the lobby is where I encountered her most. Once solo, and I felt almost bad I stepped into the room with her because I'm not small and I know I partially blocked the view of people outside of the room but fortune favors the bold right? I did try to squeeze myself into a corner, which only resulted in another person coming in to fully block the view from the hallway. That person caught the eye of the bald witch instead of me (I should have just stayed out blocking them 😤) and was allowed to touch her head in a very intimate moment.
The second time I caught her in there was by following a woman whose character name I don't know, after the ballroom scene where the two of them move the trees and then embrace. This time I did not care if I blocked people, me and one other person were in the room and watched the two women clean themselves up and reapply makeup. When the other woman left, I stayed with the bald witch (now wearing a wig), who fascinated me.
At some point I ended up in the rave bar before the rave began. I didn't know the "Hell Here" sign changed to "Hello There" before the rave! Every time I had seen it previously it had the o and t unlit. I saw Hecate readying for the rave. The music changed, and she danced, and eventually she made gasping sounds. Each gasp seemed to be a summoning. A ritual, drawing the other characters towards her. Her scream initiated the rave, and this time I had front row view from a different angle than I had previously, so it was like seeing it new all over again. Every bit as incredible, but different enough to feel like a brand new experience. And again, the lighting, seriously I'm a lighting whore after this show. I will forever judge theater experiences by their use of lighting compared to this show now. I hope whoever is in charge of lighting design is paid handsomely because seriously their work really drives the story. The music too, but I'm more impressed by the lighting tbh.
After the rave, I debated trying for the Hecate 1 on 1 since I knew what triggered it from last show, but I wanted to try new experiences this time so I tried to follow the Boy Witch instead. But I couldn't keep up, and there were too many people, and the next thing I knew I was by myself wandering empty halls again.
I can't remember if this happened before or after the rave, but I saw Agnes in the hall with all the shops. She went into a bedroom, and lay to sleep, where the tailor (not sure that's the characters actual title?) snuck in through the closet and put her capelet over her as she slept. When he left, she woke, and she locked the door to the room. I watched her put on makeup, and then go into the closet. Me and the 3 others watching kind of looked at each other, wondering if we should follow. Two of them tried the door, to find it's locked. Once I knew that I plowed into the closet and had a delirious thought about going to Narnia but no, I just ended up back in the shops hallway, where I saw Agnes meet the man who had covered her when she slept, and together they went into the clothier, and danced as he presented her with fabrics to choose from, and when he left she stole his money, and he brought her flowers, and then she went back to her room. She went next to the detective agency, and wrote a letter which I couldn't read despite trying over her shoulder (I'm a creep, this show makes me feel like such a voyeur lol).
At some point I ended up back in the lobby, watching the porter and the Boy Witch and two women and I think MacBeth? Dancing on the lobby desk, which was wonderfully choreographed again. Instead of following the others I stayed with the porter and situated myself in front of him as he made a tiny boat out of a card. Then Agnes was there, ringing the bell for the porter, and I realized then we'd had a reset because I had seen this scene already. I went to take the boat origami, but as I reached for it another guest snatched it away - like literally, she had been pressed to my side the entire scene, her fingers twitching so she clearly knew the opportunity would be coming. I thought that was a little uncalled for, but whatever, I'd already had a few very special moments today I wasn't going to let one instance sour anything.
I left to find another scene as I had watched this one already, and ended up back at the Manderlay bar by accident. Took that opportunity to use the restroom and grab a quick drink because a woman was singing and she had a lovely voice. Listened until her song was done and when I went to leave, the guy who was the greeter at the start of the show asked if I want to enter a different way, and took me in through the "main" entrance which somehow I had never gone in through before?? This deposited me in the lobby of the hotel of course, and I wandered until I encountered two people running towards each other and embrace, sobbing. The man went on, and far too many people followed him so I followed the woman, who went into the room with the lit cross where Duncan(?) body is. She unwrapped him and used true loves kiss to bring him back to life. Together they went to the ballroom and danced, which was beautiful. Then she left, and I followed our resurrected Duncan because I had NO IDEA he came back to life at any point from last show so I was like bro what are you gonna do with your new life??? Well, he decided to retrace his steps of course, clearly confused and slowly remembering what had happened to him as he went first to the cross room, then to the place of his murder, then through to the room he dances in before his murder, and then he went running. I tried keeping up but well, I am not a runner.
Somewhere along the way I end up back in the ballroom, having followed someone I encountered in the hall. I thought oh great, banquet again, let me wander and see if anything else happens elsewhere since I have already seen this? But as I went to leave, the Porter and a woman came in, and positioned themselves in the back of the ballroom. I had not seen this before as I'm usually at the front, so I decided to stay and see if they do anything interesting. And this is when I realized the show was ending, because the banquet turned into a hanging, and we were then all ushered out.
Second time going to this show, and I feel I saw a whole new show having witnessed so many scenes I hadn't seen last time. I wonder how many more I am missing? I hope to see it once more next month, and maybe finally see the entire show and put together the pieces of plot. I definitely feel that this time I was able to absorb more, and found myself actually applying motives and thoughts and words to scenes that had none. I love that there are very few spoken scenes - it leaves the experience up to the beholder to interpret, and I know from reading others recaps that we all kind of notice different inflections that mean different things to us and change how we view a scene. I'm only sorry i waited so long to see this show - I wish I could have seen it more often to truly capture all of it.
But, I may have another chance next month! Until then, I for one will definitely be getting a good nights sleep after all that walking today 😂

TLDR: They do, just not in the ways you might expect.
I apologize to those who were looking for an erudite, scholarly article with cited quotations from approved theosophical sources. Unfortunately, it’s only my opinion based on my studies, personal experience, and pure speculation in some instances, and without delineating which are which, so if you choose to read further, please keep that in mind. Those of us who like to study The Mahatma Letters to A.P. Sinnett, the Letters from the Masters of the Wisdom, and the letters received by Olcott in Old Diary Leaves marvel at the number of notes, messages, and sometimes long letters that were received by numerous aspiring chelas from 1873 to about 1886, filled with encouragement, wisdom, and teachings of the Ancient Wisdom doctrine. Where did these Masters go?
Those particular Mahatmas have continued to progress in their spiritual enlightenment at a pace far faster than that at which most of us are traveling. Some may not be directly associated with human spiritual development at all by now, and if they are, it is from a much greater distance, metaphorically speaking, than the distance between them and aspirants in 1880. Hume and Sinnett were told not to worry because there would always be a few replacements for the Adepts as they progressed to other assignments.
KH had to get special permission from the Mahāchohan to communicate through HPB with Sinnett, Hume, and others. It was given very reluctantly and with more restrictions as time went on. The Adepts were hoping to find one or more Europeans (including people of European descent in other countries) that could take up the work begun by HPB. They tried various potential candidates, beginning with Hume and Sinnett, and invariably they failed, one after another. In the meantime, HPB still had to furnish the specific energy she alone could supply to make communication possible between a Mahatma and those who had none of the special training she had. The two Englishmen were warned early on that if she died, her energy reserve was only enough for two or three letters, at most. As it turned out, it was only one letter that was received after she died in 1891.
It seems that training Europeans to be chelas is not as easy as training certain Asians. Per KH, “You may be, and most assuredly are, our superiors in every branch of physical knowledge; in spiritual sciences we were, are, and always will be — your Masters.” The Asian way of thinking is simply better adapted to grasping spiritual concepts. But obviously it isn't impossible for Europeans to succeed since KH also assured Hume and Sinnett that there were two English Adepts even at that time. So it is possible, just more difficult. This implies that Europeans have to work even harder to achieve the same degree of progress. Not what we wanted to hear, but still good to know.
After HPB died, communications ended abruptly. Her students were bereft. Olcott, who periodically had received direct communications, was confused. He assumed they would continue as before. Damodar, one of the few chelas who had also been able to receive direct communications, had left for Tibet about the same time Blavatsky left India forever. Olcott was convinced that Damodar would return to fill in for her, but that never happened. I realize there are theosophists who believe that communications continued after HPB’s death, but in my opinion, the quality of those messages were markedly different from the quality we find in The Mahatma Letters, so I don’t have much confidence in most of those post-Blavatsky messages.
The original experiment of training one or more European chelas to replace Blavatsky failed. All the thousands of Mahatma-hours devoted to the goal seemingly came to nought. Except that it didn’t. Even if it didn’t succeed immediately, the seeds had been planted, but it would take time for results to be realized. We have a plethora of information now on how to become a chela, but that too is a problem. How do we sift through the mountains of information available, much of it not very useful, to find those few pure nuggets of gold that will point us in the right direction? The answer is simple: discernment. Okay, maybe not that simple, since not many people seem to have developed discernment. This qualification was originally called discrimination, but I will use the term discernment since the meaning of discrimination has changed markedly in the past 100 years. How do we develop discernment?
Again, the answer is simple: Get rid of ego. Now at least we have something we can understand. The answer may be simple, but getting rid of ego is anything but simple. We have to be willing to let go of it, release our attachment to possessions, our quest for power, our love of attention, need for approval, need to be needed, need of validation, our desire for excitement and drama. That’s a lot, but it has to be done, even if it takes more than one lifetime to make it happen, but hopefully some of us started the process in previous lifetimes and are continuing to work on it currently. If anyone thought the path was going to be easy, it isn’t. If it were, it would be nothing special. Anyone with a little perseverance could gain the powers of the advanced chelas without giving up much that we cherish. The path to chelaship is not fun and exciting, certainly not for a long, long time. It is mostly pain and hardship as we give up one thing after another that we thought was so important to our happiness. The more we are attached to material things and the goals of materialism, the more arduous the ascent up the mountain of chelaship.
So far, acquiring discernment and getting rid of ego are two things we can definitely work on. What’s next? Well, purity is absolutely essential. So, becoming a vegetarian, a non-smoker, a non-drinker and not engaging in sex except within an approved form of marriage, right? Well, those will all be required at some point, and even more eventually, but they are not required in the early stages. Purity of motive is number one, then comes purity of ethics. Do we believe it’s okay to lie if it helps achieve a good result? Not according to KH. He said an untruth had never passed his lips in this lifetime and emphasized that being scrupulous in telling the truth is absolutely necessary. How can a Mahatma trust someone who is willing to lie sometimes? They can’t, and more than one aspiring chela failed because they couldn’t pass that test. Sterling ethics are essential for chelaship.
Another requirement is an unconditional love of humanity and all living things, which includes our planet. Is there anyone at all that you hate? If so, you don’t have unconditional love of humanity and don’t truly believe in Brotherhood. Without this foundational belief in Oneness, to the point that we treat everyone as a brother, regardless of their actions, then we haven’t grasped the full meaning of this concept. It’s something else we may need to work on.
Does anyone receive any communications from these Masters anymore? Yes, they do. They are the ones who have been working for more than one or two lifetimes already toward that goal. They are already ahead of most of us who are still struggling to figure out what is important and what is not. Through sheer hard work they have succeeded in developing discernment, reduction of the ego to almost nothing, non-attachment and non-reaction. Through countless hours of meditation, they have achieved oneness, to some extent, with their Higher Self, and glimmers of inspiration and insight are beginning to come through. These faint first fruits of effort eventually become a more reliable channel by which any Mahatma who may have been watching over those efforts can test the connection from time to time, by planting a thought near us to see if we recognize it, and if we do, observe what we do with it. This process can take many, many years, more than one lifetime. If we become impatient and inclined to try a faster method, not only are we doomed to failure, but it will take more than one lifetime to get back on track. Some of us have already experienced that before. The Mahatmas learned a lot from their experiment in the 1880s. One result is that they retreated back behind their curtain of secrecy and anonymity, and it isn’t hard to see why. They and their agents were assailed from all sides, by scientists, religious people, and spiritualists, but their most severe critics were their former friends that they had tried to help to gain understanding. How could they focus on working for the benefit of humanity while being attacked 24 hours a day? It will probably be a long time before they try something like that again. Nothing is out in the open now. It isn’t through large groups that they work, but their efforts are concentrated on a few individuals who work together with a few other individuals. Progress comes through very small groups, not through large organizations. Those large organizations serve a purpose too, to preserve the original teachings and make sure they remain available to the world, and to serve as a starting point for a few brave souls who are willing to make the tremendous effort required for self-transformation into an intelligent, purified, discerning instrument, willing to give up cherished but inaccurate ideas, and motivated by pure love of humanity, to be trained further after lifetimes of effort to attain that intermediate goal of becoming an accepted chela. These are they with whom they communicate.

Hey, I’m Merry. Muslim woman who has moved lately from Palestine “Gaza” to Egypt. I’m looking to meet a man who is also interested in mono relationship. Giving his time and effort to know each other as I will be giving him my attention and my loyalty. I understand that sometimes people can talk with different girls or guys to choose from, but I hope at some point we can agree that we are closed and officially together. The only reason is to not waste time and to give ourselves the right quality time to understand and study each other.
As in the post it says I’m Muslim, so I’m looking for muslim guy at the same age, less or a bit more. I’m well educated, I have grown up learning a lot about both life and principles so I have strong beliefs in them, I appreciate discipline and respect as they are really important in any type of relationship not only between couples.
I work from home, I love kids but I’m not planning to get too many kids, I’m good looking woman, I go to gym, eat healthy, I enjoy quiet times and I don’t get bored easily from being alone, my motives to get into relationship is because I really think I can be a good healthy partner. I would also enjoy someone company and the idea of growing together “ not only age “ but as people, as humans, as brains and as open to learn from life and give to it.
I have been in long healing process that I think it helped with building who I’m. I’m just looking for a simple mature man who enjoys my company, good looking, calm, enjoy family time and loves me for who I’m. I would appreciate if he is passed the immature phase, not in his middle age crisis, someone who is looking for same principles love, respect, honesty, loyalty. If you think you can’t provide those at any time in the future or based on your past please don’t waste our time. I’m also working on getting my master scholarship in the meantime.
If it helps, I’m interested in Arts, Science, psychology “ alot “, I like to read astrology but it’s not necessarily to believe in them, I love to do handmade things for any kind of occasion, I enjoy long walks, beach talk, I appreciate alone time and I understand a lot about men from my readings so it can be both blessing and curse.
If you ever cared about love languages mine is word of affirmation and physical, I’m INFP, 9w1 personality type, so I appreciate people who are interested in learning about those things to get into healthy relationship that is promising into something long term and deep meaningful.
I don’t mind which country you are from , or if this lead to any ldr. all appreciated if we matched on the scale of principles, look, emotions and goals. I don’t mind sharing photos but not in the beginning. I’m open to answer questions and get into long deep meaningful conversations without crossing the lines of being respectful and classy.

I just finished the RBC Brooklyn Half yesterday, after a 12-week training program. I’d built up a lot of expectations for the race, for a whole host of interrelated reason (that I’ll unpack in the body of this thing); all those expectations, unfortunately, caused me to get carried away, and made my experience of the race overall 1) unenjoyable while I was running and 2) disappointing after I finished.
I’m a teacher, and I frequently relay this paraphrasing of a Confucius quote to my kids: “We can either learn how to act by imagining consequences and reflecting, which is best; or by watching others make mistakes, which is hard (though not for us). The most difficult way to learn is through experience, but if that’s what it takes, then that’s what it takes.” One of my top-upvoted comments of all time is in this sub, telling people to not ruin a race for themselves by over-fixating on time-goals at the expense of enjoying their race.
And yet—

Race Information

• Name: RBC Brooklyn Half
• Date: May 18, 2024
• Distance: 13.1 mi
• Location: Brooklyn, NY
• Time: 1:38:2X

Goals

Goal	Description	Completed?
A	Sub or Equal 1:32	No
B	Sub 1:35	No
C	Finally Pace Myself Properly	No

Splits

Split	Pace	Time
5k	7:04	21:55
10k	7:20	44:42
15k	7:12	1:07:03
20k	8:23	1:33:03
Finish	7:55	1:38:2X

Background Context

I started running in Oct of ‘22, and caught the bug. I ran a half in April of ‘23 in 1:47, and loved the distance. I built base over the summer to ~30-35 mpw, and then trained for the Philly Half in Nov of ‘23. Ended up getting a 1:38:0X in that race, which was really exciting. More exciting was that I approximately even-split that race — my second half took ~30 seconds longer than the first. I left that race feeling exactly how I wanted to — like a washcloth wrung out completely. I felt like that race & time represented the absolute best of my ability, given my current level of fitness; and I felt like I tried my best the whole way through.
Last important piece of context re: diagnosing this race’s disappointment: between Oct of ‘22 and Nov ‘23 I went from ~240 lbs avg to ~195 lbs average. My lowest weight dipped to the high 180s, but I stabilized around 190 pretty quickly.

Training

I used Runna to train for Philly and really enjoyed the experience. My organizational skills are pretty lacking, and I spend 100% of them in other areas of my life — so I enjoy using an app that offloads some of that cognitive lift for me, fully worth the sub during training blocks.
As far as milage, I managed:

Week	Miles (Ran / Goal)
1	25 / 33 mi mi (missed 2 runs from travel)
2	32 / 36 mi (missed 1 run b/c travel)
3	38 /38 mi
4	12 / 20 mi (deload, missed 2 runs from illness)
5	28 / 38 mi (missed 2 runs from illness carried over from previous week)
6	40 / 40 mi
7	43 / 43 mi
8	23 / 23 mi
9	50 / 43 mi (extended 2 easy runs by ~3 miles apiece)
10	43 / 40 mi
11	29 / 35 mi (missed 1 run due to illness)
12	23 / 23 mi (including race).

As I’m sure you can already see, I missed a meaningful amount of runs due to illness/other life interruption. Concurrent with all this is the fact that my wife is due with our 2nd child in, well, like a week and a half from now; so a lot of the missed runs in weeks 1-5 also reflect a dramatic net increase in my responsibilities b/c of my wife feeling out of it / not being able to get as much done as normal (no shade at all; she’s literally building a new human that wasn’t there before). Overall I got ~92% of all milage done, running 388 miles during these 12 weeks. Mistake #1: I didn’t adjust my time goals in light of missing workouts; I figured if I just worked harder to “catch up,” I would be fine.
The plan included 2 quality sessions a week — 1 tempo run and 1 interval session, and the weekend long run frequently had pace thrown in. I vastly prefer tempo to interval running — personally, I cite being ~200 lbs as the reason. Once I get going, it’s easy to keep going, but frequent stops & starts just burn energy that I can’t afford to lose. Mistake #2: as I trained, my weight went from the high 190s to the high 200s, and I raced at ~207 lbs. I wasn’t consistent w/ nutrition during training, and the associated stress of my job, as well as parenting & chores usually handled by 2 people being done mostly by me — I often used lil’ snacks as a quick dopamine fix (adhd heads out there, you know what I’m talking about.)

Pre-Race

I wasn’t sure I’d be able to run the race in the first place — my first daughter (now 7) was born at 36 weeks, and I anticipated my second needing the same (choleostasis enjoyers, rise up). Instead, though, this baby seems primed to go the distance — so I got equal parts excited and nervous to be able to deliver on all my training.
I’d cut my time by 9 minutes from my first to the second half, and tried to be conservative in aiming to cut ~5 minutes between these cycles — so I aimed to run 7:00-7:05 for the race, dipping into the 6:55s if I felt good at the end of the race, and set my A goal for 1:32, and my B goal for 1:35. Mistake #3: I didn’t have any serious qualitative goals, and my quant goals were made too far in advance to be realistic. I also wasn’t proactive in adjusting my goals based on how training was going — despite advocating for that same thing in posts on this sub.
Man, it’s so easy to say smart things, and so hard to actually do them.
About 10 days before my race, I came down with a cough thing that sapped a bit of my energy. Kept me up at night, and sapped ~10-15% of my energy on a given day. The Wednesday before my race I asked my wife, “Do you think 3 days is enough for me to be back at 100%?” And I want to say to other runners out there: if you’re having to ask that question, go ahead and adjust your goals. We’ll tag that as Mistake #4.

The Race

Gorgeous morning. I live ~1.5 miles from the race start, so I walked over to Franklin and then jogged the remaining ~1 mile to the start as a warmup. Skipped bag dropoff for the same reason I don’t like checking bags while flying, did a quick pee (quick pee, long portapotty wait time), and went over to the corral.
My whole “thing” as a runner is that I’m deceptively fast — that is, that I’m most commonly the least-fit looking person out of the people running equivalent paces to myself. When I started running, that gave me a bit of imposter syndrome; any more, I draw on it for motivation. So as I was waiting in Corral C to start, I realized I felt a lot of pressure — to be able to deliver on being fast, to prove that I’m actually fit, whatever. No one outside of myself cares, obviously. But that’s now how this stuff works.

The First 10k — Would’ve Been Great If This Was a 10k

My pacing plan was as follows: don’t exceed 7:00 pace at any point in the first 7 miles; aim for ~7:30-7:45 going up Prospect Park’s big hill; use the downhill at 10k to catch my breath; and use the last 7 miles down Ocean Ave to winch down on speed if I was feeling good, or just hold around 7:05 if I was spent.
I was able to hit the first half of this plan pretty well, as my splits up top suggest. But I could tell, starting as I ran around GAP and into the park, that I was working too hard — the effort I was expending was too much. As I reflect on it now, I realize I was probably in ~1:35 shape (~7:15 splits); but I stubbornly refused to drop down in pace. I noticed my heart rate was in the high 170s as I ran through Prospect Park, where my HM pace usually puts me at 165 on the dot. I tried to tell myself it was race excitement + caffeine. [Arrested Development Narrator Voice: It wasn’t.]
I hit the 10k mark at 45 minutes pretty much on the dot. My 10k PR is 44:0-something. This is when I realized my pacing was probably a bit on the screwed side. I’m fairly capable with distance, and am better at medium-exertion-long-distance than I am at hard-exertion-short-distance (my 10k predicts a slightly better 5k time than I currently race). I thought to myself: “Well, you can always just drop down a bit and hold. What’s the worst that can happen?”

The Worst That Can Happen: AKA You’ll Feel Pretty Silly When You Try to Tell Your 38.5 Week Pregnant Wife That Your Last 6 Miles Were Quote “Unimaginable Suffering” And It “Felt Like It Would Never End”

I had been under the impression that Ocean Ave would be a “gentle downhill,” but had never run it prior to the race. This, dear reader, is a lie. Somehow, the last 6 miles of the race are entirely uphill; or at least, that is what it’ll feel like if you go out 5% over your current level of fitness.
The sun really started to get to me; and while I’d had water & nutrition, my gut wasn’t enjoying it, and I didn’t feel energized or like any second wind was coming. I specifically remember that Mile 9 felt like it took 20 minutes to finish; the last 5k of the race simply wouldn’t arrive.
I pulled off to the side to slow down; first to 7:30, then 7:45, then 8:00, with no respite. My legs were heavy despite feeling fueled — I was just dyin’ out there. My wife had been texting encouragement during the race, and I managed to send her back from my watch at mile 9 “all goals are now out the window,” and it was just about finishing — first, to finish without walking. But I took 2 30-second walk breaks when the fatigue felt unendurable — pulling off to the side and counting down from 30, while getting passed.
That was another feature of the race that made it so challenging — that same dynamic of “being deceptively fast” that I mentioned above came back to bite me, as I got passed continuously by people who’d raced their fitness, rather than their goals, in the first half of the race. That demoralized feeling was incredibly difficult to handle. I hadn’t, before today, understood why someone would quit a race; and now, even though I didn’t quit, I get it.
As I passed mile 11, I realized that, while my initial goal was fully out the window, I could still PB the race, even though my pace between miles 9 and 11 was more than a minute off my goal pace; I’d just need to hold approximately 8:00 pace, and I’d be right up against my prior PB. That didn’t make anything any easier, but it did make me feel like the suffering had a point.
Got an encouraging text from my wife, found some other folks at ~8:00 pace, and tried to lock into that pace next to them. And then I just sort of suffered to the finish line. I don’t know what the views looked like; I’m not sure what the race atmosphere was like. I wish I’d paced myself better so I could have experienced that fully.

Post-Race: Why Don’t They Tell You That You Have to Walk Up Stairs To Get Out of Cyclone Stadium BEFORE You Go Into the Stadium?

Got medal, got water. Drank about 5 consecutive cups of water, and then exited the boardwalk. Texted my wife that it’d been really hard but I finished, and right as I did, a critical mass of finishers arrived such that cell service got knocked out for everyone. Thus began the Long Night of The Soul for me at Cyclone stadium.
I walked in, walked around, realized there wasn’t anything I wanted to do in there, and then tried to go back out; at which point I was told “Exit is out that way,” and I said, “I can’t just go back out? I gotta go upstairs to leave, after running a race? That’s the rule?” The guy who told me didn’t deserve my sass; and I deserved to not go up stairs. Oh well.
I managed to get up the stairs without cramping up (though it was close). I went and looked out over Surf Ave, at everyone walking to and from the race, and just got to sit with my thoughts for a bit. I got myself a bit choked up & had a very dignified little cry at this realization, which I think does fully distill my feelings about the race: “I feel like I tried my hardest, but I don’t feel like I did my best.” I think that we often treat those two statements like they’re interchangeable, but there’s actually a bit of space between those ideas, and my race fell into the gap between them. I both tried very hard the entire time, but also, I could have done a better job pacing myself and picking target times. That disappointment is rough.

To Do Better Next Time

So to conclude this whole long sad love letter to learning: some takeaways, ranked from Most Transferrable (re: life skills) to Most Specific.

1. Actively listen to ya dang body, fool

Self-explanatory: by setting a goat at the outset of training, and then sort of driving toward it without respect for a lot of recently-added stressors in my life, I didn’t end up running any faster — I just made the running I did do kind of miserable. Next time I intend to use HR & Effort (together!) as a better indication of the pace my body feels comfortable running during the race. We say so much “Trust the taper,” and I think here I’d benefit from reminding myself, “… buuuut the taper doesn’t make impossible things possible.”

1. Don’t invest so heavily in the quant goal

I got very invested in how proud I would be if I managed to achieve the goal, and that forward-projecting is part of what caused me to overshoot the goal in the first place. Next time around I want to have a process goal to the tune of “Enjoy the race while trying to wring out your body like a washcloth.” Or something; I have time to plan.

1. Lose 15-20 pounds.

I’m 5’9; I’m strong and I’m heavy. My running has kind of been those two vectors pointing against each other the whole time. But I think I’m at the point where, if I want to be able to sustain 7:00 speeds for more than a 10k, I need to lose some of the excess weight I’m holding onto. I could also do strength training, but I’ve got a baby on the way; heart tells me that getting 7-10% lighter will be a lot easier than getting 7-10% stronger.
So that was training, goals, and next steps. Hopefully, by seeing my mistakes, you’ll be able to avoid them yourself in the future. Hopefully!
Made with a new race report generator created by herumph.

Reaching out to PhD, post-doc, post-grad students/alumni
Hello everyone I am currently working as a Data Scientist in the field of Medical Imaging, and now I am again in a dilemma about whether I should apply for a PhD or go for 2nd Master's.
Allow me to set some context :
I finished my Master's on a high, and wanted to get into the field of research (specifically innovative research). There was clarity in my mind about the fact that before going proper research positions, I needed to improve my profile further and also needed to get some industrial experience to see what problems are trying to be solved and to see what goes into meeting current global standards. My original plan was to do this and later seek out PhD positions. But, after speaking with multiple people (family and colleagues) who had either finished their PhD or dropped or thought about it decided not to go, I decided that it'd be wise for me to actually get to know the place, the people and the professors whom I would be working with. There is a particular aspect within AI that I want to do research in and was able to identify a professor in Ratsch lab(at ETHZ) whose interests very much align with mine. However, I feel like there still a few things in Deep Learning that I have not studied academically, such as Real Analysis, which is foundational to DL, so I was still leaning towards doing a Master's and gaining that confidence.
I am hesitant again, because I am unsure if I will be accepted into a Master's program at all given my background. My Bachelor's wasn't great AT ALL. It was essentially a general degree that I picked, which had a mix of management, commerce and programming. This is where I discovered that I have no aptitude for the management and commerce world. My thing was computers. I re-evaluated my options in the following year, and that is when I discovered Data Science and AI. It was love at first sight and I didn't care about the job prospects or anything, I just went for it. My Master's was again a general Master's but it was great, I finished with a CGPA of 9.38/10 and topped my batch along with getting to work on some NLP (DL) projects under a professor there. Since then, I have been listed as an inventor for a patent, had a poster published in ECR and will have another published in RSNA soon. Also working on solving a novel problem at my company.
I intended on applying for a Masters in Data Science in 2024 end, but based on what I have read in many places, ETHZ and most European universities don't seem to give a lot of weightage to most of the good stuff on my CV, making me feel a little dejected. I am preparing for GRE at the moment in an attempt to bolster my profile and I think I have a genuine and concrete Motivation letter.
Should I just write to the professor and try for PhD instead? Or does a Master's still make sense? Are there any other options? Should I look forward options outside Europe? I have looked at University of Amsterdam which seems relatively promising. I am looking for a multi-disciplinary approach to AI, so a philosophical understanding along with strong technical details when it comes to mathematics.
my_qualifications: BCA (62.67 %) from Pune University - But excellent scores in lab courses and mathematics. MCA (9.38 cgpa) from Pune University - Top of my batch 2 years Work Exp as a Data Scientist
Any insights would be appreciated <3

Reaching out to PhD, post-doc, post-grad students and alumni at ETHZ
Hello everyone 🙋 I am a non-EU/EEA citizen who is currently working as a Data Scientist in the field of Medical Imaging, and now I am again in a dilemma about whether I should apply for a PhD or go for 2nd Master's.
Allow me to set some context :
I finished my Master's on a high, and wanted to get into the field of research (specifically innovative research). There was clarity in my mind about the fact that before going proper research positions, I needed to improve my profile further and also needed to get some industrial experience to see what problems are trying to be solved and to see what goes into meeting current global standards. My original plan was to do this and later seek out PhD positions. But, after speaking with multiple people (family and colleagues) who had either finished their PhD or dropped or thought about it decided not to go, I decided that it'd be wise for me to actually get to know the place, the people and the professors whom I would be working with. There is a particular aspect within AI that I want to do research in and was able to identify a professor in Ratsch lab whose interests very much align with mine. However, I feel like there still a few things in Deep Learning that I have not studied academically, such as Real Analysis, which is foundational to DL, so I was still leaning towards doing a Master's and gaining that confidence.
I am hesitant again, because I am unsure if I will be accepted into a Master's program at all given my background. My Bachelor's wasn't great AT ALL. It was essentially a general degree that I picked, which had a mix of management, commerce and programming. This is where I discovered that I have no aptitude for the management and commerce world. My thing was computers. I re-evaluated my options in the following year, and that is when I discovered Data Science and AI. It was love at first sight and I didn't care about the job prospects or anything, I just went for it. My Master's was again a general Master's but it was great, I finished with a CGPA of 9.38/10 and topped my batch along with getting to work on some NLP (DL) projects under a professor there. Since then, I have been listed as an inventor for a patent, had a poster published in ECR and will have another published in RSNA soon. Also working on solving a novel problem at my company.
I intended on applying for a Masters in Data Science(2025) in 2024 end, but based on what I have read in many places, ETH doesn't seem to give a lot of weightage to most of the good stuff on my CV, making me feel a little dejected. I am preparing for GRE at the moment in an attempt to bolster my profile and I think I have a genuine and concrete Motivation letter.
Should I just write to the professor and try for PhD instead? Or does a Master's still make sense? Are there any other options? I have looked at University of Amsterdam which seems relatively promising. I am looking for a multi-disciplinary approach to AI, so a philosophical understanding along with strong technical details when it comes to mathematics.
Any insights would be appreciated <3

She’s showing off a scrub daddy kit.
Cash is yelling in the background. Now he’s on screen with her in a “clean” but stained shirt.
The tv is blaring in the background.
Cash is off screen and back to yelling in the background.
I guess he walked up to her. She asked him what he wanted and then she immediately offered him pancakes.
Cash just screamed ow. She didn’t even pause the live to check on him just yelled “what happened did you step on a letter”
Said they’re gonna go to the trampoline park at 5. Does anyone have a copy of the schedule she posted? I don’t think 5:00 on a school night is time to go to the trampoline park.
She asked for prayers for Colt because he has a test coming up but then didn’t explain about the test.
Now HG is yelling for her and she didn’t even acknowledge him.
I guess Colt’s test is something about math. I genuinely hope he does well and is gaining something from going to school despite constantly missing days and probably being exhausted when he is there cause Judy never lets him sleep.
Colt might get into ABA therapy because of something his school initiated the paperwork. Again, I hope it works out for him and whatever happens with custody she doesn’t pull him out and try to homeschool him.
Someone just asked about established meal times 😂. Who was it. Now she’s saying Cash fell asleep late and slept late so he woke up late so meal time had to be moved back. I have a toddler who thinks sleep is a fun option. You know what I do when she falls asleep late? I still wake her up around the same time everyday so that way those late nights are an exception not the norm.
Saying Colt is aggressive and she knows she’s gonna catch shit for saying that. No shit Joanne. She’s saying Colt got aggressive with Cash yesterday.
The background sounds so chaotic. It’s overstimulating me and I’m in a dark room with no extra noise letting my daughter nap.
She said this is gonna be a commercial live. Whatever that means.
Said she has no motivation today. But said when she’s more motivated chit chatting with “us”. As someone with ADHD I get that. But podcasts and audiobooks help me stay on task. Body doubling videos were suggested because they do work. She said she uses them but idk when she would. She’s always on live “cleaning.”
She just told Cash to say “buy a scrub daddy”.
ZM is in her live talking with her like everything is okay.
She’s back to shilling the scrub daddy kits. She said she uses them everyday.
Said Colt has anxiety about going to the barber that’s why they gave him one at home 🙄. And he likes the way his hair looks. Even the anxiety about going to the barber is true they could’ve at least used scissors and not fucking clippers to cut his hair ?
Just told cash to say “go buy this” again.
Said Colt says kids at school are mean but he says she’s mean when he doesn’t get his way. Way to invalidate your kid telling you he’s getting bullied Joanne.
Said she has to talk about the kit every 45 seconds or she’ll get a violation and she’s already had two because she wasn’t showing it.
Saying she’s tired but needs to clean with her scrub daddy kit.
Cash is still hovering behind her. She told him again to say “go buy this.”
Someone I’m guessing Cash wants her phone. She offered him his iPad or the computer but letting any of the kids have her phone is a hard no today.
Okay sorry yall. I gotta wake my daughter up so she isn’t up all night

Hey everyone! I just wanted to share my success with y'all I have been into manifestion since 2 years now and after alot of failure here's what worked for me and what didn't
ENGLISH ISN'T MY FIRST LANGUAGE SO I'M SORRY IF IT'S HARD TO UNDERSTAND A FEW THINGS YOU CAN FREELY ASK ME AND I'LL TRY MY BEST TO EXPLAIN IT
I finally move out and started my college at a new place and at a new state it was near to impossible because months ago I was financially struggling I had no motivation and felt like I can't get selected by any college because of my grades, My mom and dad didn't even had the money for me to study further and I kinda accepted it but something in me still wanted to try so I tried attracting my dream college which is one of the top buisness university in my country rn I felt anxious and scared and yeah... You guessed it right my online test for that particular University went great but I f-ked up in my university interview still after the interview I clammed myself somehow and forgot that it ever happened I listened to a random subliminal after that lol but somehow with low score and everything I got into that university
After everything I totally forgot about this top University and I prepared for other colleges and kept myself occupied with tests and work (and to my shock I got in all of them) fast forward to the next month I got my results which were very important for my university and bank loan, My exams went really bad because of family problems and I lost my motivation to study even knowing it was important still I couldn't focus but somehow without any prior studying or guidance I manage to pass in all my subject (which was still good cz I thought I'll fail) but I had failed in an additional subject which doesn't gets counted while calculating my overall percentage as it was additional so I was saved by an inch one thing I realised is I had put all my attention, thoughts, listening to subliminal and scripting while desiring my perfect grades but back of my mind it always hit me they my exams weren't good I had a 44 subliminals in my exam success playlist which idk is the reason that I got lesser than what I desired my marks to be. At the end everything worked out anyway and the bank nor the university stopped me due to my marks lol
Now here comes my another problem after receiving my offer letter I saw the fees and no way I could afford that but I always went to sleep thinking it happened and I'm in front of my dream university standing there admiring it and soon after a month a distinct relative of mine called my dad and told him he will fund my living expenses and everything I was over the moon to hear that (we aren't really close but that relative of mine still wanted to help to his own willingness) and after that I applied for a loan to cover my college fees and here you would need connections with the bank employees to get your process done fast or it would take upto a month to get approved (I had already emailed the university admission council to extend my fees deadline so I needed that money badly) but idk how an old friend of my mom got in contact with her and told us he could help me with that he had alot of connections in the bank which made the process fast. Also in my college process I just listened to one subliminal and that too I haven't consistently give it a thought or attention Maybe that's the reason why I got into that prestigious university.
I still don't exactly know what I did wrong while manifesting my exam desired marks a little guidance on this would be helpful for me to work on what really went bad from my side.
Currently I'm still in my hometown just waiting for my bank to approve my loan this week and then I'll be moving to my new appartment at a new place next month :)

I am a former Christian whose entire family apart from my dad are still Christian. My sibling even went to a Christian college for their undergrad and graduate degree. Out of curiosity, I asked my sibling some basic questions (at least I thought they were basic) regarding some biblical scholarship such as “did you know roughly half of Paul’s letters in the Bible are considered written by someone else?” or the “Markain priority”. They didn’t know about anything I asked, so it got me thinking… what exactly do they teach you in Bible college?

Hey Guys,
So you may be aware that western scholarship has been approaching the topic of the preservation of the Quran in depth. In the 70s, Patricia Crone wrote Hagarism which led to the development of the Revisionist School of Quranic studies. They said that because the Quran mentions vegetation and because Mecca wasn’t as large as a trading hub as Muslim tradition represents, and because the Quran seems to reference such a wide gamut of sources, it was impossible that the Quran was compiled in Arabia, but must have been in Petra or a city with greater links to the wider world, and that it was written by comities over three hundred years after the prophet.
The secondary claim of the academics is that none of the Hadith literature can be trusted. Now, I do believe that some of the Hadith (perhaps more than we assume) may have been corrupted, but I do think academia is far too dismissive of the historicity of the hadith completely. I read the Hadith in precisely the same way that I read the old testament: both contain some Wahi - or revelation - but neither is the word of God verbatim, and if anything in them directly contradicts the Quran or aql, I reject it outright. That being said, I do believe some of it is historical and goes back to the prophet and is therefore part of the Sunnah and is Wahi.
Returning to our discussion: the discovery of the Sanaa’ palimpsest put the revisionist theory to rest as the entire Quran has now been attested to around 650 - Uthman’s Quran. However scholarship has not yet been able to conclude the historicity of Abubakar’s Quran. I have attached my arguments (I have not included the arguments of the person I was discussing with because I do not have his permission to repost).
I was wondering what you think of this argument, or whether any of you are capable of carrying out or redesigning the experiment I outline here to prove the likely historicity of Abubakar’s Quran. Please note, I take on a secular tone in the text because that’s the rules of that forum which I respect, it’s academia not apologetics, not because I believe in the ideology. However, here, I hope to see what you think.
POST 1
Dr. Van Putten points out there is significant orthographic consistency in Quranic manuscripts, highlighting the way the name Ibrahim is spelled for instance.
Do you believe this could demonstrate elements of the original compilation of the Quran under Abu Bakar ?
My argument is fairly simple:

1. Uthman’s recension was done to prevent variants and to maintain a uniform authoritative codex.
2. Given that context, it doesn’t make sense to have variant spellings of proper nouns like names in a standardised text, particularly in verses adjacent to eachother which would be jarring.
3. This is not due to the fact that orthography wasn’t important, as we see meticulous care to retain the variant orthographical features across manuscripts.
4. Given the push for uniformity, there must have been a stronger push factor / reason to retain the lack of uniformity in a project whose entire purpose was uniformity.
5. The most obvious reason is that the original authoritative text that the first compilation (Abu Bakar’s tentatively) was sourced from was fragmentary: ie sourced from different fragments written by several different scribes each of whom had different spellings of proper nouns - the collection of this fragmentary material (written on perishable items according to tradition - led to the first compilation project which retained the variant spellings in the Abubakar Archetype). The Uthmanic recension had access to the Abubakar archetype but the variant spellings were retained because the fragmentary verses held the highest authority. Zaid was said to be in charge of both projects.
6. Since the original manuscript (Abu Bakar’s) was personal property of the Caliph (and wasn’t copied or in distribution until Uthman) other variants were not destroyed according to the traditional narrative, other stemma could have formed either from companion codexes or from the Uthmanic codex forward (the variants being sourced from other physically attested fragmentary pieces - therefore justifying their inclusion.
7. The most likely scenario for the text we see in my mind is the tradition: a fragmentary written archetype that was faithfully followed by Zaid ibn Thabit (and variants being included from other fragmentary attestations of the same verses).

So does the orthography suggest the narrative of the original pre-Uthmanic compilation of an authoritative text has legs / should be explored further / is the most cogent explanation of currently available data ?
Dr. Van Putten, I also reference your work in making my argument, so please let me know if I have mischaracterised it, I would also love your thoughts on this theory.
POST 2
Hey, first thank you for your response. What i was trying to say is that the spelling wasn’t standard and varied both between scribes and a single scribe may spell words differently, thats a given.
My actual point is that while that may generally be true, the fact that the uthmanic text more or less faithfully reproduces the set of variant spellings in copies suggests that the uthmanic committiee did care about the spelling, but chose not to make it uniform - otherwise the locations of the variants wouldnt be relatively consistent in copies. This, to me at least, suggests there was an archetype which had the variant spellings, which was respected as an authoritative source ie an earlier written codex which was likely fragmentary.
It’s just an assumption, you’re right, but was wondering if it has legs.
Another way to get to what i’m asking, does the evidence youve found suggest the existence of an earlier written codex as the tradition attests to ? If not, whats a better explanation for what we see ?
POST 3
Thank you again for your response, it's really an honour speaking with you.
“If the first codex wasn't a direct copy of anything,” My argument is that the first codex was a copy of written fragmentary verses.
The consistency of the Uthmanic manuscripts with regards to the spelling convention (whatever the distribution of the way a single word is spelled, that's not my focus, my focus is on the consistency with which each spelling appears in its position across manuscripts) - if that consistency is high, that strongly suggests they were aware of the different spellings because they cared enough about the spellings to reproduce them faithfully in their exact positions, but they didn't change them - and the existence of an authoritative written text that was collected from fragmentary sources / scribes (and therefore had varied spellings) would seem to have the most explanatory power for the data we do see.
What I’m inferring is that if we see this consistency in the location of certain spellings in the Uthmanic text type, the story of Abubakar's Quran explains that data best.
For clarity:
My argument actually doesn’t rely on the distribution between various spellings in the text, but rather on the fact that the position of the various spellings are maintained exactly in copies - i.e. the difference in count between the spellings isn’t relevant to this argument.
If we limit ourselves to a single codification, this creates a conundrum: on one hand they seem to care immensely about the position of various spellings (and therefore implicitly care about the spelling), but on the other hand they don’t see the differences in spellings as significant as obvious variation exists in the text - so the position of various spellings in the text is important, but the fact that there are different spellings of the same word between those precise positions is not important (as there are variants).
POST 4
This is what I reference:
Dr. Van Putten’s findings lit a light bulb off for me: the data makes most sense if the traditional narrative is correct and there were two codifications.
Van Putten: “By examining 14 early Quranic manuscripts, it is shown that this phrase is consistently spelled using only one of the two spellings in the same position in all of these different manuscripts. It is argued that such consistency can only be explained by assuming that all these manuscripts come from a single written archetype, meaning there must have been a codification project sometime in the first century.”
Sidky: “If the first codex wasn't a direct copy of anything, then there is nothing for them to care about.”
But there was something to copy according to the tradition: written fragments that had small chunks of Surahs or just had individual verses. I want to test for that - ie can the orthographic data we have not be random or just chalked up to ancients not caring about spelling, but instead be due to the fact that the verses were transcribed by different scribes. This isn’t a multiple author hypothesis - I don’t think that has credence, it is however an argument that it may be worth testing if the first codex was fragmentary, which would strongly support the traditional narrative.
The first codex wasn’t a written rendition of an oral text according to tradition, it was a compilation of fragmentary verses that were in turn the actual written editions of the oral text. The difference is significant - because if true, and assuming the fragments were small and written by the scribes then the speaker of the oral text would be the prophet himself and the variation would likely be from the prophet or from the scribes mistranscription of what he said - but because they were small fragments, this is less likely.
POST 5
My theory explains this by the strict adherence to the written fragmentary verses that Zayd collected from scribes that wrote them down. Each had a different approach to orthography, but whatever their approach when the original Abubakar Quran was collected their writing held absolute authority as it was written under the supervision of the prophet, so Zayd would be motivated to retain it exactly (if there was more than one attestations of the same verse, for instance an additional article or the lack of one, Zayd could choose to use one fragment in one codex and another fragment in another codex to preserve both as both meet the same conditions of authority). Each scribe likely had different spelling conventions, and likely applied their preferred spelling conventions with differing consistency.
A scribe that wasn’t consistent could have the same word spelled differently in the same verse, and another scribe that was meticulously consistent could have an entire Surah with completely consistent spelling - depending on what fragments were found from which scribes.
Whatever was on those fragments was likely transcribed exactly (as Zayd, the same person in charge of Uthman’s compilation, was also in charge of the first compilation project, and so likely employed the same standard of exact copying of the written text irrespective of spelling variants).
So if the traditional narrative is correct, if we had the original codex we would expect to see some natural variation in the spelling convention because it was collected from various sources with different spelling conventions - if the Uthmanic text faithfully copied that text, whatever the distribution of variants between the various words in number, we would see their exact position meticulously maintained in copies of the Uthmanic codex because the first codex would have had them and would be authoritative.
POST 6

1. The best explanation for why the Uthmanic text maintained orthographic variance is because it copied from an authoritative older written text.
2. The best explanation for why the older written text has variation in the spelling is that it was transcribed by different scribes who spelled things slightly differently. Those initial scribes would have been dictated to directly by the Prophet so their transcription would outweigh all others, so the variants we see could either be due to their mishearing, or assuming the Prophet was illiterate, he would not have been able to enforce spelling conventions, so scribes would have had creative license to write the name in the spelling convention they were most familiar with. So scribes with a Jewish background would be more likely to spell ‫ﺍ‬ ‫ﺑ‬ ‫ﺮ‬ ‫ﻫ‬ ‫ﻢ‬ and those without would spell ‫ﺍ‬ ‫ﺑ‬ ‫ﺮ‬ ‫ﻫ‬ ‫ﻴ‬ ‫ﻢ‬, but if those spellings appeared next to another word like Nimatullah and we see that both one spelling of Abraham appears every time one spelling of nimatullah appears, and a third word with variant spelling in the quran also appears in only one way when the first two have that form, then we can suggest that it comes from a single fragment that had orthographic consistency, and other fragments of the quran with a similar pattern likely come from the same scribe.

If we have a sufficient number of pairings to analyse we can build confidence that all of the verses that adhere to those pairing were written by a single scribe & confirm the Abubakar hypothesis with a degree of statistical confidence, because the story of fragmentary compilation would match the data we see, .

Added trigger warning for discussion of coming out and unsupportive family. This weekend has brought up a lot of feelings for my wife (MTF 26). She finally sent a letter coming out to her family. Previously, they’ve had nothing positive to say about the community. There was quite literally a time her father said gay people shouldn’t be allowed to teach kids because they’ll be inappropriate. As a teacher (F23), that really angered me. They’ve called the community hateful things, supported movements against us, and have used religion as their motive. She’s really afraid, I am too. I’ll never know what her fear feels like, but I told her I support her and will always back her in whatever way she directs. Today, she’s having a lot of big feelings. I’ve gotten used to that, especially when she has days we affectionately call “crying days”. However, she will close off from me and become super cold. Like she’ll say nothing matters and just ignore me. I know part of the anxiety I feel with it has to do with my childhood trauma, but when she does this, I have a horrible twist of anxiety all day. Nothing I say or do is the right thing and I just want to help. We’ve tried having little hints where she tells me what she needs like space or hugs or distraction, but today she’s not giving that to me. I know I can’t fix everything, I just need some advice. How best can I support her? When I came out as pan to my family, everyone who mattered was supportive, so I know I don’t understand that fear for her.

Hello, I currently work in the skilled trades (13 years exp.29 y/o male). I have recently applied for a bunch of jobs but one posted to Indeed is truly enticing to me and I know for a fact that I have a ton of very relevant skills to what the job is looking for. I placed an application through Indeed and also sent a copy of my resume in through the company website with a cover letter on both. In my younger years I worked as a recruiter with Aerotek and learned that there is an etiquette to the application process. However my dilemma is that although I really want this job and I know I am 100% qualified and motivated I do not want to put a bad taste in the hiring departments mouth by being overbearing with follow up. Should I lay off or is it worth it to keep periodically reaching out? THANKS!

I am currently in 7th semester and I almost 8 months is left for gate. From last 1 month I am preparing for GATE CSE 2025. But I have told my friends that I would sit for placement and if did not get placed then I would go for GATE, kind of lie. I want to ask if I should inform my friend that I am preparing for gate? I would also sit for placement, but just for gaining the experience.
I have not informed them because I think if I would tell them then I might not study fully motivated. Something like "If we tell about the goal then we do not work for it" I do not remember exactly.
Problem with telling about them is that they would be like "oh that is nice", "crore package and all", and other things I do not want to listen to all these. but after knowing about gate they might feel betrayed. we are group of 6 boys. I asked them about further studies but no one was interested.
my_qualifications : 3rd year completed computer engineering, tier 3 college.
Also I am new to reddit so If any mistake please forgive me.

I know this happens on the show, so it's a popular theory that Shireen will be sacrificed to resurrect Jon, but I don't think this is likely in the books. If anyone is going to be sacrificed for Jon (which may not even be necessary since Beric was brought back without a sacrifice IIRC), I think it's a lot more likely to be either Val or Gilly's baby, rather than Shireen.
The first count against Shireen is just logistics. GRRM has said Stannis will burn Shireen (which also makes more sense since Stannis is a parallel to Agamemnon from the Iliad), and Stannis is currently camped out near Winterfell, or in a battle, or something, however we interpret the contents of the Pink Letter. Jon's body would need to be frozen in ice and prevented from decomposing for a really long time before Stannis gets back to the Wall. Stoneheart was pretty messed up after only a few days, and I have to assume that Jon will be more functional than Stoneheart since he's one of the most prominent characters in the series. It's not impossible, but it seems less complicated/contrived, if his resurrection happens before Stannis returns.
The second count against Shireen is motivation. Even assuming that Stannis has come back to the Wall and that Melisandre and Stannis both believe that Jon is essential to saving the world, why would they burn Shireen to bring Jon back? Mel usually talks about the importance of king's blood, and there is, as far as they believe, king's blood at the Wall in addition to Shireen. It keeps coming up that the wildlings don't view king's blood in the same way as the southerners do, with Jon being repeatedly frustrated by Stannis and co.'s misunderstandings about Val and the baby that they believe is Mance's. To me, it feels significant that we keep getting reminded that Stannis's camp, which includes Melisandre, believes that Val and Gilly's baby are royalty-adjacent.
In my opinion, if Melisandre (or much less likely, Stannis) were interested in trying to use king's blood to revive Jon, their attempt #1 would be Gilly's baby and potentially Val, rather than Shireen. Personally I also think that this would raise some dramatic stakes on Jon's decision-making, since he did the baby swap to protect Mance's baby but hurt Gilly and her baby in the process. That whole episode felt very grim to me, and I would love to be wrong but worry that we have not seen the last of that particular decision.

For background: I feel like I am risking too much here at UST because I set high expectations for myself. I didn't pass the UPCA back in 2023, yet passed the USTET with my priority program, AB in Political Science. Kaso, my family wasn't financially well-off but I still persevered, promising them that I would take any scholarship opportunity.
Luckily, I passed the San Lorenzo Ruiz (Working Scholar) scholarship. It was manageable at first during our 1st semester and survived. Yet, 2nd semester came and it was hard to cope with, especially bumigat yung readings and schoolwork. I was constantly getting low scores on quizzes kahit na wala ako tulog from studying. Tapos, it was hard to manage my time, being a working scholar, required to render 24 hours a week. I was super drained and lost my motivation, all together.
I feel like I over-estimated my capabilities, and risking too much nga sa UST. But, I am uncertain if makakapasa pa ba 'ko sa major subject ko, so I want to shift sa UPD para at least kahit bumagsak, libre.
I just have some questions, if anyone can answer, it would be a big help. 1. If I get a singko in my grade, but still pass the required GWA (which is 2.00), can I still shift? 2. If I manage to shift, would I be disqualified for Latin honors?

For background: I feel like I am risking too much here at UST because I set high expectations for myself. I didn't pass the UPCA back in 2023, yet passed the USTET with my priority program, AB in Political Science. Kaso, my family wasn't financially well-off but I still persevered, promising them that I would take any scholarship opportunity.
Luckily, I passed the San Lorenzo Ruiz (Working Scholar) scholarship. It was manageable at first during our 1st semester and survived. Yet, 2nd semester came and it was hard to cope with, especially bumigat yung readings and schoolwork. I was constantly getting low scores on quizzes kahit na wala ako tulog from studying. Tapos, it was hard to manage my time, being a working scholar, required to render 24 hours a week. I was super drained and lost my motivation, all together.
I feel like I over-estimated my capabilities, and risking too much nga sa UST. But, I am uncertain if makakapasa pa ba 'ko sa major subject ko, so I want to shift sa UPD para at least kahit bumagsak, libre.
I just have some questions, if anyone can answer, it would be a big help. 1. If I get a singko in my grade, but still pass the required GWA (which is 2.00), can I still shift? 2. If I manage to shift, would I be disqualified for Latin honors?

Your answer was...
"That is not true."
Last week, I caved to my own insecurities and made sure to remind you that you are cared for. You see, people wired with our particular kind of neurospicy will often either lack emotional permanence, or maturity, or suspect people are running around with ulterior motives.
You did question why I did that. I did that because, despite the infrequency of our communications these days... I still feel you. Your reply also included how very not ok you are currently - which just proves that I can feel you just the same as always. I wish I could have just sent you "I know" and show you the letter I had written the night before. I'm still here, just as I have always been... and I do understand better than you think. Chaos fairy almost went to the beautiful place nearest you this morning, just to be a little bit closer, and to watch the sunrise surrounded by beauty. You also apologized in that text. I don't need you to apologize, I need you to remember that if its too dark in your head, I'm waiting at the top of that pit of darkness with the rope.
Yeah, I want to hang out. We don't even have to process what you are going through if you don't want to. We can be ridiculous and fun. I will protest only on the inside that....you will have to process the thoughts, you will have to feel the feelings, ALL OF THEM. Ignoring them and stuffing them down does not make them cease to exist. I know this from experience. It will be hard, but I'm only here to be the kind of friend you need to keep up your healing journey. Love is patient, love is kind... you know? I'm here, and will remain here. I will continue to reach out now and then, as you do need consistency, and I genuinely want to because you are an absolute treasure of a human being. I'm not like the others. I'm not going to chase, but I'm certainly not leaving - I'm meant to be a good friend, and good friends do not leave when things get tough. They stand by your side as a support. ❤️