Are you a regular person who just wants an online friend group so you can run some Overwatch and maybe a few other games? This is the one. No contenders teams over here, we at Rapture Gaming (rG) are simply dedicated to the group experience and supporting each other while we play. Whether you're a seasoned pro or new to the game, we welcome players of all skill levels and experience. We support both PC and console players, so no matter what platform you're on, you'll have a group of fellow players to play and learn with.
rG stands out among the rest of the Discord servers due to our very popular game nights. We have Overwatch game night twice each week, and there’s a strong turn-out for each and every one. Game nights are usually quick play or arcade modes to keep it chill and inviting, but it’s also a good place to meet your next comp duo, trio, or even full stack if you’re so inclined.
Please be advised that rG is committed to being a non-toxic community. We believe that gaming should be fun and enjoyable for everyone, and that means creating a positive and inclusive environment for all of our members. We encourage members to build each other up, and to celebrate each other's successes. So come join us, and let's take on the ladder together!
Join the discord! -> https://discord.gg/rapturegaming
To complete registration: follow the new user walkthrough (“Get Started” tasks) through acknowledging the Code of Conduct up to Battalion Request. Click “1 Abyss” in the drop-down. Answer the questions and click submit. Verification is done manually, so bear with us while we respond. You’ll be able to access some of Abyss while you wait, scroll down on the room list to find our area.
This is a 17+ server. We require that you have a working headset and microphone and a disposition suited to playing with other community members..
If you have any questions, don’t hesitate to hit me up on discord! (brighteyes) We look forward to meeting you and playing with you soon!
-BrightEyes

Are you a regular person who just wants an online friend group so you can run some Overwatch and maybe a few other games? This is the one. No contenders teams over here, we at Rapture Gaming (rG) are simply dedicated to the group experience and supporting each other while we play. Whether you're a seasoned pro or new to the game, we welcome players of all skill levels and experience. We support both PC and console players, so no matter what platform you're on, you'll have a group of fellow players to play and learn with.
rG stands out among the rest of the Discord servers due to our very popular game nights. We have Overwatch game night twice each week, and there’s a strong turn-out for each and every one. Game nights are usually quick play or arcade modes to keep it chill and inviting, but it’s also a good place to meet your next comp duo, trio, or even full stack if you’re so inclined.
Please be advised that rG is committed to being a non-toxic community. We believe that gaming should be fun and enjoyable for everyone, and that means creating a positive and inclusive environment for all of our members. We encourage members to build each other up, and to celebrate each other's successes. So come join us, and let's take on the ladder together!
Join the discord! -> https://discord.gg/rapturegaming
To complete registration: follow the new user walkthrough (“Get Started” tasks) through acknowledging the Code of Conduct up to Battalion Request. Click “1 Abyss” in the drop-down. Answer the questions and click submit. Verification is done manually, so bear with us while we respond. You’ll be able to access some of Abyss while you wait, scroll down on the room list to find our area.
This is a 17+ server. We require that you have a working headset and microphone and a disposition suited to playing with other community members..
If you have any questions, don’t hesitate to hit me up on discord! (brighteyes) We look forward to meeting you and playing with you soon!
-BrightEyes

Cultivating a list of "must-know" things for a successful life before 18 is a noble pursuit, but there's no one-size-fits-all answer. Success can look different for each person depending on their values, goals, and circumstances. However, there are some key areas and skills that can build a strong foundation for navigating life after 18:
Personal skills:

1. Self-awareness: Understanding your strengths, weaknesses, values, and passions.
2. Resilience: Developing coping mechanisms and bouncing back from challenges.
3. Critical thinking: Analyzing information, forming independent opinions, and problem-solving effectively.
4. Effective communication: Expressing yourself clearly, actively listening, and building positive relationships.
5. Time management: Organizing tasks, prioritizing, and meeting deadlines effectively.
6. Financial literacy: Budgeting, saving, understanding debt, and responsible credit use.
7. Healthy habits: Maintaining physical and mental well-being through exercise, good diet, and quality sleep.
8. Emotional intelligence: Recognizing and managing emotions in yourself and others.
9. Adaptability and flexibility: Embracing change and learning new things throughout your life.
10. Empathy and compassion: Understanding and caring about the feelings and experiences of others.

Practical skills:

1. Basic cooking and home maintenance: Learning to cook simple meals and take care of your living space.
2. First aid and CPR: Knowing how to respond to emergencies.
3. Technology skills: Utilizing technology effectively for communication, research, and learning.
4. Driving, car care, and basic bike maintenance: Understanding traffic rules and safe driving practices.
5. Basic sewing and DIY skills: Fixing clothes, mending furniture, and doing simple repairs.
6. Research and information literacy: Evaluating sources and finding reliable information.
7. Public speaking and presenting: Being comfortable speaking in front of others.
8. Networking and interpersonal skills: Building and maintaining relationships with peers and mentors.
9. Time management and organizational skills: Planning and prioritizing effectively.
10. Learning a new language: Expanding your communication abilities and cultural understanding.

Career & Life Planning:

1. Career exploration and goal setting: Understanding your interests and setting realistic career goals.
2. Resume writing and interview skills: Presenting yourself effectively for job opportunities.
3. Researching and applying for colleges or vocational programs: Making informed decisions about your education.
4. Understanding basic legal contracts and documents: Knowing your rights and responsibilities.
5. Civic engagement and voting rights: Participating in your community and understanding the democratic process.
6. Environmental awareness and sustainability: Learning to live responsibly and protect the planet.
7. Digital citizenship and cyber safety: Protecting your online identity and using technology responsibly.
8. Understanding personal rights and responsibilities: Knowing your legal rights and how to advocate for yourself.
9. Building a support network: Identifying and relying on trusted friends, family, and mentors.
10. Volunteering and community service: Giving back to your community and making a difference.

Remember:

• This is not an exhaustive list, and the importance of each item will vary depending on individual circumstances.
• Encourage curiosity and exploration over rote memorization.
• Foster critical thinking and the ability to adapt to changing situations.
• Promote a growth mindset and the willingness to learn from mistakes.
• Emphasize self-discovery and pursuing passions in life.

Ultimately, helping young people develop these skills and cultivate a sense of agency will empower them to build their own definitions of success and navigate life after 18 with confidence and resilience.

Already listed on COINMARKETCAP and BITMART trading . Today we had a partnership with another meme For community growth and free airdrops from both coins. I am an investor not a dev but DEVS are insane !!! This is early guys I am already x5 my investment but I am holding strong this is going very high long term.

We will be going into the Xiao Man (小满) solar term (节气) starting from 20 May to 4 Jun 2024. Xiao Man is the 8th solar term out of the entire 24.
The reason it is called Xiao Man is because during this period, grains like barley (大麦) and winter wheat (冬小麦) start to get fuller (饱满). However, the grains still need more time to become fully ripened. Hence it’s called ‘Xiao Man’ (小满, on its way to being fully ripened) instead of ‘Man’ (满, meaning fully ripened).
During this solar term, we can expect to see more rainfall and high temperatures at the same time. This means the environment will be very humid, resulting in dampness (湿邪) developing in the body.
When the body has too much dampness (湿邪), the person will experience symptoms like poor appetite, bloated stomach, lack of energy or not having the urge to drink water.
The dietary direction for this solar term should be 健脾化湿, which means strengthening the spleen to remove dampness.
Before we go into the recommended list of foods, I strongly recommend you to avoid consuming cold drinks and sweet stuff during this period as it will worsen the dampness in the body.
The following are the top 5 foods recommended during this solar term:
Green Beans (绿豆) – Also known as mung beans, they not only can help to clear heatiness in the body but they can also help to remove dampness by increasing the urination frequency. Compared to red beans, green beans have stronger heat-clearing and anti-inflammatory properties.
Red Beans (红豆) – Red beans have the properties of clearing heatiness and removing dampness in the body. This is the reason why some people like to mix Chinese barley with red beans for dampness removal. Red beans have stronger dampness removal properties than green beans.
Winter Melon (冬瓜) – Winter melon is a good food to eat during this period because it helps to remove the dampness in the body through urination. It can also reduce body heatiness due to the summer heat.
Chinese Yam (山药) – Chinese yam is very suitable to be consumed during this period because it can help to strengthen the spleen and improve its ability to get rid of accumulated dampness in our body.
Chinese Barley (薏苡仁) – Another highly recommended food to eat during this period is Chinese barley as it has very strong properties to help with clearing dampness, especially if you have water retention issues in the lower part of your body.

General Wellness Recommendation

During this period, the heart can easily accumulate fire (心火), resulting in insomnia, dizziness, feeling frustrated, and/or irregulaheavy heartbeat.
The main lifestyle recommendation is to reduce the heart fire or prevent it from going into an excessive state.
Meditating is an effective way to reduce heart fire. Do consider meditating before sleep. It can help to reduce the heart fire and calm the mind.
For best results, you can enjoy a book after meditation (instead of using mobile devices) and go to bed when you start to feel sleepy.
Another important thing to note during this period is to avoid doing strenuous exercises.
The reason is that such exercises will make you sweat a lot and in TCM, there is a saying “汗为心之液” – which means the sweat is actually fluid from the heart. This also means that excessive sweating will deplete the heart’s Yin energy and thus, making one’s heart go into the heart fire (心火) state easily. Try to go for light exercise so you won’t sweat so much.
If you have been sweating a lot during this period, make sure you add some lily bulbs (dried or fresh) to your diet as lily bulbs can help to replenish your heart Yin energy.
Another simple way to replenish heart Yin energy is to drink more water. But if you’re unable to do so for practical reasons (especially during work), then consuming lily bulb will be a better way.
Hope you find this post helpful and have a healthy Xiao Man solar term!

I've heard that with some things, you wouldn't use the word solubility or say something is soluble , because it reacts. So for example HCl dissociates into H+ and Cl-, and the H+ reacts with H2O to form H3O+. And Cl- just connects weakly to an H2O molecule. And because it react after dissociation, the fact that it reacted means we don't say it's soluble.
The thing is though, isn't all dissolving a reaction. e.g. NH3+H2O (granted the equilibrium is to the left, not much conversion happens), but NH3 dissolves to produce OH- ions in water. The OH- are produced by a reaction between a Bronsted base (NH3), and H2O being here a Bronsted acid. But we speak of solubility of NH3 despite the reaction.
With NaOH+H2O.. NaOH is a strong base, it dissolves to produce OH- ions in water, and a lot of them. It dissociates and a bronsted lowry reaction takes place where OH- + H2O H2O + OH- which doesn't do much 'cos the products are the same as the reactants, but there's a lot of chemical reaction taking place there.
CaO I heard that it reacts in room temperature water, so one would only look at solubility for a temperature where the reaction doesn't take place, like 10 degrees C or 5 degrees C.. And it's found to be very insoluble in water.. But how can we look at solubility without a reaction. Will it just break into Ca2+ and O2- and not produce OH- ions in water? That would then mean that dissolving e.g. a base dissolving involves not producing OH- ions in water . So this seems a bit contradictory.
I have seen a solubility table show R(reacts) for calcium oxide, and I(insoluble) for magnesium oxide. I understand now that magnesium oxide reacts requires heat maybe 70C to react. Whereas Calcium oxide would react at 25C. So I can see why they list Calcium Oxide with R, and Magnesium oxide with I. But then I wonder about saying things are (S), like NaOH or NH3. Because that requires a reaction.
So I don't understand on the one hand, saying that something is either soluble, insoluble, or reacts. (and if it reacts we don't say it's soluble). And on the other hand, solubility being a reaction.

To help streamline things on the Subreddit, please use the weekly support thread for any support-related concerns.
As much as possible, we ask that you use the dedicated support channel to submit a ticket.
If you are new to KuCoin we strongly recommend you visit the KuCoin Help Center and check the FAQ first.
If you need assistance, here’s how to reach the KuCoin Support team:

1. KuCoin website: Click “Submit a Ticket” on the homepage footer or select “Submit a request” in the KuCoin Help Center
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Please refrain from submitting multiple tickets.
Due to the large volume of support inquiries lately, it may take a little bit longer for our support team to reply to your email. You can comment your ticket number under this post, and our Reddit moderators will help to follow up on your case.
Also, in line with our goal of streamlining things on the Subreddit, we'll be summarizing our other news into their own posts:
KuCoin Service Status (May 20 - May 26, 2024)
New KuCoin Listing (May 20 - May 26, 2024)
KuCoin Campaigns (May 20 - May 26, 2024)
⚠️Reminder❗ Please keep in mind that we cannot provide any official support in this subreddit as our support desk can only be reached via the website. Recent reports show that there are many scammers out there acting as Official KuCoin Moderator or Support. Please be wary! Official moderators of this sub will NEVER ask for anything on your end other than your ticket number to help escalate the request. If you run into any of these issues and you're unable to verify things further, there is a list of moderators here that you can possibly check

Why are Vikings built to be annoying; A Thesis by JLNS0KU
This is both a rant and not, as it's a complete introspective into the faction. This will be talking about lightspam as well, something that's a nonissue in this day and age but still exists, but nevertheless, is still apparent with a few heroes due to a number of reasons. Though I admit, there are exceptions to the rule I have established already. The exceptions would be Raider and Valkyrie, who I never feel cheated or unsatisfied if I win or lose against them. I could never hate these two, so my Raider and Valkyrie mains, you are doing great. You heroes could use some slight buffs or nerfs, but for argument sake you'll be excluded. With the two heroes pushed aside, I will now delve into the history of "lightspamming" and deconstruct every Viking hero one by one in order to deduce what makes them annoying.
As I have previously stated, lightspam is a non-issue in today's time in comparison to the past. You see, when For Honor first released, up until the CCU in year 4, lightspamming was real and efficient. Most were 400mls, near unreactable even in today's time and with the newer consoles for those not on PC. In addition to being faster and more stamina efficient when compared to heavy attacks, they also did much more damage by today's standards. Some went well past 22 damage, and some heroes even had 3 light chains to make spamming all the easier. Of course in reference to Orochi, which brings me to my next point in the past, and how the Samurai were primarily lightspammers. Orochi, Nobushi, and Kensei all had three light chains, Aramusha and infinite light chain, Shinobi had little other options, and Shugoki of course had the hyperarmord light to interrupt any and all offense. The stigma still exists of course against the Samurai for this, but only fools complain about lightspam from Orochi, who had the third light removed a while ago much like Shugoki's armored light. The CCU of course took care of the rest, and it made lightspam nothing short of ineffective.
But my dear reader, it never killed lightspam. Lightspam still exists, far weaker, but equally as annoying in today's time. For no matter if they work against you or don't, your opponent will be adamant to throw it out against you, due to the lack of a fully developed brain. My findings conclude the Vikings, ironic enough, house the de facto light spammer in the game. But my research (getting my ass slapped) revealed much more. Allow me to now dive deeper, and explain the basics of our remaining Vikings.
We shall start firstmost with Warlord, adequately named Borelord by some, with how simple and plain this grease stained Neanderthal really is. I have always stated that Warden is the white bread of For Honor, with how simple he is. If that's the case, Warlord would be equivalent to the stale moldy bread some booger picking child left behind the bleachers during gym. He is a product of his time, forgotten, and both tasteless and unhealthy for you. Despite having absolutely zero redeeming qualities, as he fell out of meta as of late, people still insist on playing this hero. Firstly, I am not one to judge you harshly on your character choice, you are entitled to play who you desire. But in a game with 34 different heroes, you pick the most stale, boring, and bland hero for more than a single rep? I will question your tastes then, but I understand them. Warlord being a product of his time, has not aged well. I do not blame the veterans of this hero, but it does not have to make me enjoy him. He is boring to fight as and to fight, since his kit is extremely limited. Most of the time, Warlord will try to light you over and over to shrink your health pool, so that for the first time in years they may use a heavy and perhaps get the execution. Any reactable maneuver you do, however, will be parried instantly. This means, of course, that your offense becomes that of Warlord, who now has forced you to play his sick twisted game of doing nothing but an opener bash and light attacks. Warlord, who I also like to call Warwar like I was speaking to a toddler incapable of higher thinking, is incapable of doing anything interesting ever. And for some reason, he is one of the last heroes who can easily put you out of stamina, since his parry riposte stuns and eats a chunk of your stamina, and his gb into wall splat eats a third. For the reasons listed, I believe he is one of the most annoying, and unenjoyable heroes. I imagine most Warlord players wanted to play as a fatman, but didn't want to be funny or interesting like Shugoki, so they got second best.
Onto our next Viking, Berserker. Berserker is an interesting case, because unlike Warlord, Berserker is actually strong. Deemed as S-Tier for the past few seasons and still going strong, this hero is an extreme fucking menace that always makes me sigh when I see one. In some odd twist, I've also seen many grow an ego from playing someone so easy, and given a year or so, I imagine this number might grow exponentially and one day reach at least half the amount of Orochi's with ego, but I digress. In Berserker's case, we have another case of lightspam, even though he's not limited to it. You see, this homeless crackhead can feint intio 400 mls heavies that are armored. He can easily track dodges on the heavy timing, trade and keep his offense going, or interrupt any offense you have going as well. Most Berserks will throw this out 3-4 times in a row, and think they have some masterclass good at the game. Despite how annoying this is, it's not as nearly as bad as the rest of his kit, who has no weakness. You cannot outtrade him, you cannot outrun him, you cannot outdodge him, and you certainly cannot outdo his absurd feats. His damage can easily reach 40+ on heavies, and his instant hyperarmor enables this easily. If you hated dodge recovery cancels before, then I'm sure you'll hate them combined with instant armored attacks. But while I also understand he's an excellent hero choice, I still believe there's way to many of them. Seriously, every other fucking game there is a Berserker. I've officially counted more Berserkers than Orochi. Orochi. A character whose nickname by the community was Roach, for being a bug you want to stomp and with how many they are. I genuinely wish they take this crackhead out back and break his knees. As a final note onto this mess of a hero, his marching fire armor is fucking ugly.
Our third is Highlander. Personally, I have never ever enjoyed this hero. He has been a mess from day one, with high damage but no reliable way to access it. However he's recently received a rework, so, what does this mean? Well, I actually believe his rework was okay. It granted him much more access to his offensive stance, and gave him more tools to work with. This unfortunately, had the side effect of making him good. If there was any hero that should've stayed bad, it would be Highlander. The idea that his rollcathcer is a command grab that pins you and can easily set up a quick gank is ludicrous, and returning to the light-spam topic for a moment, Highlander can actually do it quite well. Once again, lightspam in this discussion isn't about if it's effective or not, but merely a playstyle of a bygone era most people partake in. That being said, Highlander's offensive stance lights are now 400mls, which actually makes them an effective means to spam with. So this is our third viking who usually will lightspam you somewhat, which once again, is annoying.
Moving on to our fourth, is Shaman. Shaman is an interesting case, as the always delusional Shaman mains believe just because she's bad (she should be) that she can't be annoying (she is). Shaman, in my opinion, is by far the most annoying Viking. But she is not the best light spammer. In fact, she rarely spams lights at all. Shaman is actually a very rare case of a zone spammer, as her shit is extremely annoying and effective. Some dodges will still be caught by her dumb looking flurry of blows. It's her spammiest move by far, and genuinely, Shaman is meant to be spammy. This is because in a stroke of absolute brilliance, Ubisoft decided to give her a lifesteal as an innate part of her moveset. Yes, the most complained aspect about Kyoshin, is just naturally a part of this ugly tweaker. Ensuring that once she gets an insane 17 dmg bleed 400mls stab, she has a healthswing on every thing she does. Her zone is perfect for this at it's four hits or yet another change at a 17 dmg bleed stab. But my friends, it gets far worst. For you see, her bite is even more absurd. Confirmed off GB or by an ally, Shaman's bite does a huge 35 damage, while also healing her for 50. This is a 50 damage health swing, which is absolutely absurd, and should not exist in this game's day and age. Especially when, an ally can easily sneak in a heavy during the bite's wakeup. Many stupid people defend this, by saying Shaman has to work for it through her bleed. But I must retort, does not every hero have to work for their damage? Does Shugo not have to for his hug? Does Jorm not for his slam? Well ignore what I just said, because not even Shaman has to work for her absurd bite. In some sort of unholy alliance, most Nobushi'a have started keeping Shaman's as pets. Any match with a nobu and shaman is most likely a duo, and you can bet they're going to be sitting in eachothers lap all game. One tick from bleed is all it takes for you to lose against them, as Nobushi's 35 damage undodgeable against bleeding foes, allows shamam to get her bite with insane ease. Her bite also guarantees more damage from Nobu, so by being generous, we can say that a Shaman and Nobu gank can be nearly 70 damage. God, I hate this bitch and her stupid hair, and one day I wish Shaman mains may actually learn what good fashion is, so my eyes won't be assaulted while I'm being violated by genderbent Hannibal Lector.
Our fifth is Jormungandr, who actually stumps me quite a bit. His most annoying aspect is his wallsplat, which frankly, I despise that this mechanic has become more common. But that's very little reason to place him with these.... other "heroes". No, I've noticed that most Jormungandrs I come across, also prefer to spam lights. Despite having an interesting kit, nine times out of ten, they will always light, light, zone, light, light. Even more odd, is I feel most I come across rarely let their unblocable heavy fly, instead, choosing to feint it for a light attack. I actually believe this has to be further researched, so it is here I humbly ask the Jormungandr council to investigate themselves, and found out why this might be. I see now I have the least to say about Jormumgandr, but nevertheless, I'd still consider him annoying enough to be listed.
And finally we arrive, to the most, abhorrent, foul, despicable character ever conceived. The pinnacle of how not to design a hero, the de facto lightspammer, who could make even Orochi blush; Vanrangian Guard. Varangian, is by far, the most annoying Viking if I push my Shaman hate boner aside. Ubisoft Montreal was truly cooking, when it came to designing this dumbass character. We shall start firstly by discussing her ability to lightspam, which is frankly uncontested. You see, Varangian has enhanced lights that also have the superior block property. This is not unheard of, what is, however, would be the fact both her dodge attack and her light finisher also have crushing counters. So, by pressing light and light over and over, she'd actually be doing what she's designed to do by the devs themselves. You cannot simply block a light, as that won't stop her offense, and both starter and finisher light give her no reason not to lightspam, as her damage goes up to 20 with a CC. Her CC on dodge attack is also vastly more generous compared to Tiandi or Zhanhu, who require more strict time. Yes, Virginia really is a lightspam machine, who is constantly rewarded by pressing the right bumper over and over. Even if you parry a light attack and get your punish, she'll surely do it again. But my dear reader, we are not done yet, for you see, that's not all that makes this hero annoying. In another stroke of brilliance, no doubt cooked up by Harvard graduates and other brilliant scholars, she can pin you constantly. In order to combat the meta of wide attacks and hitstun, they made a hero who has wide attacks and hitstun. By simply blocking an attack with her shield, she can pin you for a few seconds, easily preventing you from doing anything more. To which, if she so wills it, can do a guaranteed heavy, which will pin you again for an additional amount of time. Vagina is designed, almost directly akin to Warlord, but a modern take that actually makes them a viable pick. Her other mix-up, the orange into soft feint gb, is also taken from another hero, that being JJ. Unblockable soft feint to gb is not inherently annoying, but it's extremely boring and effective, much like everything else about Vag. She's a brick wall who can also attack thanks to her constant CC's and pins. I also don't believe anyone like her or mains her because they find her moveset enjoyable, anyone who says otherwise is clearly a Ubisoft plant to persuade others that she isn't simply lazy design.
This marks the closure of my post, I hope I have enlightened some to the flawed and absurdity of these chosen heroes, and while I do hope they can be changed for the better, I also hope we can all collectively agree that anyone who plays these heroes are less than human, excluding Jormunagndrs, who are on thin ice. As always, I am open to debate to the comments, and will thoroughly explain any questions one may have.

Happy Monday, Barkada --

The PSE lost 10 points to 6619 ▼0.1%

Today is MB's 5th birthday!
I'm not really a big celebrations guy, so I'm not sure how to mark the occasion, except to say that I'm thankful for your continued readership and for the community of great people that has grown up around the newsletter as the days turned into weeks, turned into months, and turned into years.
Want to see something crazy? Here's MB's very first episode.
For those who have been there from the beginning, thank you for guiding MB's development through all of my weird experiments over the years. Your comments, support, and willingness to help always leave me speechless.
For those who support MB on Patreon now and in the past, your generosity in paying for something that you receive for free is humbling. Your support has helped me build scripts, host my site, and pay for help.
For those who contribute to MB directly, like Jewel, and to all of my partners, Mike Tan of Vini.com, Ely Paclibar (Your REIT Buddy), and Investagrams, thank you for working with me every morning to stitch this newsletter together. It wouldn't be the same without you.
Today is something of a long episode, but I hope you'll indulge me on MB's birthday because I really hope that you'll like the segment about the team of traders that I've sponsored to enter the Trading Cup 2024 competition, and the review of Alternergy's STAR Investor Day presentation.
Hope you like it!

▌In today's MB:

• PSE suspends PNX, C, and INFRA
• Zobels sell remaining MWC holdings
• TC24: Introducing MB's Trading Cup 2024 team!
  • The Trading Cup competition
  • Meet Matthew, Jenny, and Sef
  • Good luck team!
• Alternergy's first public Q&A
  • Its growth strategy
  • Outlook of renewables market
  • Why it loves wind
  • When dividends?

▌Daily meme Subscribe (it's free) Today's email

▌Today's sponsor: DoubleDragon

▌Main stories covered:

• [UPDATE] PNX, C, and INFRA suspended for failure to submit Annual Reports... The PSE issued suspensions to three companies [link] prior to the open of trade on Friday morning for failure to submit FY23 Annual Reports. The three companies suspended are Phoenix Petroleum [PNX 4.17 ▼0.2%; 0% avgVol], Chelsea Logistics [C 1.30 ▲4.0%; 0% avgVol], and Philippine Infradev [INFRA 0.53 ▲1.9%; 0% avgVol]. AgriNurture [ANI 0.62 ▲8.8%; 305% avgVol] narrowly avoided suspension by submitting its Annual Report 38 minutes before the PSE’s suspension deadline. The ANI FY23 Annual Report disclosure erroneously reports a net income improvement of 1560% to ₱146 million, instead of a ₱146 million net loss, perhaps this oversight comes from a behind-the-scenes race to submit before the deadline.
  
  • MB: I’m married to an accountant who did the auditing grind for years, so I know that it’s not easy to put these reports together; they’re complex and knock-ons from problems in any of the subsidiaries can cause problems that ripple up the chain and back down. That being said, producing these annual reports is something of a bare-minimum condition of public corporate life. Every management group rides its accounting department and its auditing team into the dirt to get its quarterly and annual reports out on time. I don’t have any inside knowledge into why PNX, C, and INFRA are in this position, but I listen to the silence from these management groups. Good teams communicate with their minority shareholders in times of uncertainty, and a trading suspension is a time of great uncertainty for retail investors.
• [NEWS] **Ayala Corp sells remains of its MWC holdings to Enrique Razon for ₱14.5-B... Ayala Corp [AC 620.00 ▲1.3%; 131% avgVol] [link] disclosed that its subsidiaries, Michigan Holdings and Philwater Holdings, would sell their combined holdings in Manila Water Company [MWC 26.60 ▼1.5%; 123% avgVol] to Trident Water Company Holdings (TWC), which is owned by MWC’s current owner, Enrique Razon. The combined value of the two sales to TWC is ₱14.5 billion. The block of shares coming to TWC through Michigan Holdings was already processed and paid-for (~₱12.9 billion), and the remaining ₱1.6 billion worth of shares from Philwater Holdings will be purchased in installments over the next five years. AC confirmed that it will have no post-transaction common share interest in MWC, and that its voting stake will be “nil”.
  
  • MB: In a weird way, the transfer of ownership and control of MWC from the Zobel Family to the Razon Family is one of the only lasting “achievements” of the Duterte administration. I put “achievements” in quotation marks because it’s not clear how the President’s overreach into the public markets benefitted anyone other than the obvious (MWC’s current owner). As longtime readers of MB will know I have a deep respect for Mr. Razon’s business acumen and operational quality, but I don’t know that MWC customers have necessarily felt any change as a result of this transfer, and I don’t know that minority shareholders have felt any change either. So maybe it was just Mr. Razon in the right place at the right time while Duterte rode the media waves of threatening the Zobels with death and dismemberment? Yeah, it was a weird time.
• [TC24] Introducing MB’s Trading Cup 2024 team!...Merkado Barkada** is sponsoring a team of three traders to compete in Trading Cup 2024 hosted by Investa, where hundreds of traders will be competing for up to ₱640k in total prizes based on their trading performance with ₱300k in virtual currency across the PSE, US markets, and crypto markets. This is a long competition (it runs from April 22 through July 26), so we will follow the members of Team MB throughout the contest to check in on what’s working, what’s not working, and what it’s like on the front-lines of the country’s largest trading tournament. Let’s meet the team!
  
  • “Hi I’m Matthew. I’m a project manager in network engineering in the telecommjnications industry and an agency leader in one of the top global brands in insurance. I have been trading since 2016. Though I like momentum trading, I found more success in position trading because it is less volatile since I can only check my open positions during my free time.” Matthew is 37 and lives in Paranaque. Trading experience: PSE (8 years), US (1 year), CRYPTO (1 year).*
  • “Hi I'm Jennelyn. I'm a Civil Engineer by profession in a government organization. I started trading back in 2020 for a year. I was reckless back then, but I've learned a lot, I'd say. I stopped trading in 2021 to focus on my career and I shifted my trading journey to learning first. Now with the Trading Cup I've found another motivation to push through. I tried day trading, and it was really frustrating and draining, so this time I'm doing swing trading through price action and volume.
  • “My name is Sef. I'm currently in college studying Management. I've been mostly self-taught but over the years I took a lot of learnings from other people. I've tried a lot of strategies but most of the time I'm a swing trader. So, I try to look for strong catalysts and take positions within times of consolidations. My implementation of it during the competition hasn't been perfect, partly due to finals week. But I trust in the process. I've been trading in the PSE for 5 years now. I only started trading the US markets and Crypto, recently. I think my current performance in the competition is reflective of my experience within the three markets. [PSE: +17.4%, CRYPTO: +4.2%, US: -11.5%]. We still have a few months to go and it's still anyone's game. A lot of the top leaderboard right now is primarily driven by 1 or 2 positions that no one saw coming, I think you can guess which stocks I'm referring to.
    • MB: Welcome to the team, Matthew, Jenny, and Sef! My goal in founding Team MB is to give readers a little insight into the thought processes behind the winning and losing trades of each team member. We have a diverse group across age, background, experience, and trading style, so I think we’ll get some interesting perspectives on the markets as the weeks go by before the July 26 finale. The team members will get to keep 100% of any prizes that they win, along with a monthly stipend from Merkado Barkada for all the coffee/snacks needed to keep focus on all three markets simultaneously. Good luck, team!
• [NEWS] Alternergy conducts first public Q&A since IPO... Alternergy [ALTER 0.70 ▲1.4%; 159% avgVol] presented its Q1 results on Wednesday as part of the PSE’s STAR Investor Day event, and MB was there to document its first public Q&A with institutional and retail investors since its IPO over a year ago. For me, the most interesting component of any STAR presentation is the Q&A, because it’s where we get the chance to hear the management team talk outside of the the cold forensics of the financial statements to address the hope, fear, optimism, and pessisim of the average investor.
  
  • On enhancing shareholder value: The ALTER team said that it’s focus is on controlling what it can control, and that as a developer, it does everything that it can to complete projects “within the timeline and committed budget”, increase its pipeline, and build good relationships with stakeholders.
  • On its growth strategy: ALTER said that its “DNA is a developer”, and therefore its “preference is brownfield development” as opposed to acquisitions. (MB note: “Brownfield” means development on land that has been previously used for some other purpose. “Greenfield” would be development on untouched land.) The management team said that it is open to being “opportunistic” with acquisitions, but that its overall focus is on “looking for projects from the ground and building them toward completion.”
  • On outlook of renewables market: “The power industry is really at the point where there is a sustained pressure towards a price increase.” The ALTER team said that there’s a shortage of power supply, and what existing supply there is will come under pressure as power plants age or weather phenomena disrupt operations. ALTER said that it’s strategy is to simply grow its portfolio into this market gap, especially over the next two years.
  • On wind vs solar: The ALTER team was asked whether it was intentional to be “more exposed to wind rather than solar”, and ALTER responded by saying that while both wind and solar are scalable, they “like wind” because it generates more electricity per installed capacity. As the ALTER team put it: “For instance, if we build a 50 MW solar, you’ll only need a 25 MW wind project to match the amount of energy that we will be generating.” ALTER said that wind is also less intensive in terms of land use to generate the same amount of energy, and that its analysis shows that wind projects generate more cash flow than solar projects.
  • On starting to distribute dividends: *One question asked when ALTER would start paying dividends, and the ALTER team responded (after a laugh) that it’s “all about resource allocation”. ALTER said that at this stage, it’s a growth company, and that it would like to use its resources to build a “sizeable portfolio over the medium term” with the goal of “increasing shareholder value.” ALTER said that once it has achieved that goal, “dividend payments would not be far behind.
    • MB:Kudos to any management team that takes questions from the public. It’s not easy to be this communicative and transparent, but as a long-term investor, this kind of insight into the management team’s thinking and analysis of their own data and the market as a whole is important. If your trading style is technical, ALTER’s analysis of wind versus solar isn’t going to matter to you at all, but if your thesis is based on bets in the power generation sector, that response might trigger some research that could be helpful. Overall I’d say that the ALTER team did very well. It was clear that they were nervous, but over time I’m sure the team will become more comfortable with answering the questions and interacting with the investing community in such a person-to-person way. Well done, ALTER!

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The core themes of the character (loneliness and strength mirrored with weakness and association, nature vs nurture) are really cool. The twin's backstory is on par with Shigaraki's in terms of complexity, maybe even better despite being shorter.
Here's a list of things I find interesting about All for One ever since his backstory was revealed :
All for One went from a one dimensional character to a full fleshed person in the final arc :
Seeing the origin behind his dream actually makes it make sense beyond "ahahaha me wanna be evil" : The child who has nothing becomes obsessed with ownership to the point of wanting to own everything. All for One's obsession with having plans upon plans and control in general also seems to come from his extremely unstable environment as a child. Him stealing the glowing kid's Quirk is a show of his innate pettiness, but also depicts his longing for acknowledgment, which is the one thing he never got to have despite his power before he embraced the Demon Lord persona.
All for One is given a dream, and also the power to realize it, which turns to out be a curse of sorts, in the sense that it isolates him, which mirrors the way One for All became too heavy for All Might's to bear alone. It's pretty cool that the one man who managed to take him down was, in a way, haunted by his responsibility and his dream in the same way All for One was. In a sense, All for One's evilness is a role he stuck himself in because it allowed him to fulfill his need for control, acknowledgment and ownership in a way no other way to live ever could. It's not something he was born with.
All for One calling his dream of controlling the world hollow also makes him more interesting to me : a man obsessed with ownership would rather have the one thing he's already owned before with him rather than the one he was never able to have. Whether All for One loves Yoichi is impossible to know, because we don't really know how All for One even feels emotions, for all we know, ownership and love truly are one and the same to him. His regrets over killing Yoichi could be the same regret a child feels when breaking his favorite toy, or it could be genuine desperation for atonement from a man who never sought it in his life. Which brings me to my next point : All for One is a mixture of nurture and nature : he was born with an extremely powerful Quirk, a strong frame, and a clearly abnormal mind, but he would've turned out differently in a different setting, even if his life wouldn't have been perfect. This is the core message or My Hero Academia, and the main theme behind Shigaraki's character, except All for One ended up conveying it more effectively.
I think the reveal that All for One was behind the Shimura tragedy actually made him more interesting to me because he specifically made Tenko accidentally Decay his own mother, and recreated the conditions that led All for One himself to become a villain for Tenko. Subconsciously, despite claiming that he's an evil Demon Lord, that implies he realizes that his environment made him who he is and could make someone else a villain. It's also hinting at a form of jealousy/longing for the life that he was never able to have, which makes him a bit more interesting imo.
All for One's backstory is very short, and it's honestly impressive that Horikoshi managed to explain so many aspects of a previously one dimensional character so succinctly.

I apologize for the sheer wall of text but maybe this will be good cathartic Sunday reading? It helps a lot to write it out. I am a 49M widower, three years out of losing my wife (48F), father of three adult kids. Last year I felt I was ready to find love again, and joined a dating app. Very quickly I matched with Lexi (47F, not her real name) and was smitten right away.
I am in the tech and startup space in my city and she had just moved from the opposite coast with a tech background and two exits. In fact, she swiped on me because we had just connected by email two weeks earlier because she was looking to join the startup scene in her new home.
She was so accomplished and warm and smart. She was into Buddhism and spoke much of the language of my childhood in terms of peace and joy. We had so much in common. We quickly talked about cofounding a startup, I loved her own dreams for the future, she was supportive of mine. We were honest and vulnerable and despite feeling utterly naive and awkward it felt great.
It was also complicated. She had been married twice before, the most recent physically abusive and prompting her cross-country escape with her two sons. She was self-aware enough to know she was dealing with the trauma and I was wholeheartedly supportive. Practical things like helping her finish all the paperwork for her divorce or keeping a distance so as not to upset her kids made sense.
But over time and sometimes with great pain we would run into triggers and need to break and reset. Our attempts to do something together were too hard because she would fear losing control—which made sense. She was terrified of not having support in a new city and I made sure to be available to her as much as possible—down to reserving certain hours every day to be with her. She asked me to move into her building, then panicked because her sons might see me, so I moved into the building next door.
I loved her so much and wanted to do everything to keep her happy or at least feeling safe. Maybe my years as a caretaker to my late wife conditioned me in this way. But Lexi and I knew we both were in complex places in our lives and tried hard to navigate things. She read about dating a widower, I read about PTSD and ASD—something she felt explained a lot going back to childhood, from sensory sensitivity to difficulty reading nuance in social situations. As an awkward guy myself, I was empathetic.
We co-developed a shared document that basically helped us avoid landmines. When our daily time together would be. Where to park so she wouldn’t notice if I wasn’t home. Boundaries to protect her kids—which did feel like we were sneaking around and would fill her with guilt. She loved to cook and had specific dietary preferences and I adopted the same diet (and still stick to it, mostly, because it did improve my health). She said she felt safer the more of my face she could see, so I changed my glasses and shaved my facial hair. She was afraid of getting pregnant so I got my long-planned vasectomy.
And this all sound crazy, but I was happy to do it, and she seemed to be trying hard, too. She adopted ASD coping strategies, we put reminders around our respective homes, she even put my photo on her wall as part of a ranked list of priorities… though I think I came after her boys and her dogs. (I’m a cat person but loved her dogs, dogsat her dogs, and the regular walks were a main way we spent time together, even when things were rocky.) More articles and books, personality tests, studying results to find paths forward. She had a science background so did find some comfort in analyzing us.
The biggest trigger was that I would sometimes travel out of town. I work remotely so it wasn’t hard to just stay put. But before we met I’d planned to go to a big concert in LA with my daughter, and couldn’t not go. That one weekend trip was the biggest hurdle we faced. I even paid for therapy for her and kept my promise to keep in constant touch—but it caused a two-week break, and a lot of anguish thereafter. She felt abandoned even as I showed in every way that I was committed. A couple of times she had panic attacks and curled into a ball while we were out and about. Once she ran from me, genuinely afraid of me, when I had gotten frustrated and made a sarcastic remark.
Because of her past abuse, the physical side of our relationship was also tricky. There were rules here, too, but as a middle-age effective virgin, I was still into it. I’d only had one serious partner in my life, so everything was new and amazing… but for it to also be a hot-cold-voracious-guilt rollercoaster was… confusing. A few times I would be strong enough to say, “If this is too hard, we could just be friends.” But THAT was, as you might imagine, another huge threat to her sense of safety.
Until she concluded the same. We pledged—via email, because by then even text messages were too intense for her—to be good, single friends. Walks, hikes, movies. Love you always. Then no contact for four months. She mailed my keys back to me.
Of course, I still lived next door, and ran into her maybe four times during that span. She seemed stricken a couple of times, and would not speak, not really look up, and twice crossed the street to avoid me. Her dogs were happy to see me, which made it especially awkward. I tell you, I felt like the worst person on earth, a man who failed to be a good partner and caretaker when I thought that was a strength. I was worried that I made her PTSD worse, that she was a wreck…
Until three weeks ago, our anniversary. She said she was sorry for causing me pain and wanted to be friends. I could have fainted dead. We met up for lunch.
She was glowing. She was so happy. Her sons were now both adults and she decided they were going to be just fine, and feeling liberated. She wasn’t ASD, it was just PTSD. She had started a graduate program to become a therapist (something we discussed), happy to both be able to tap her experiences to help others and to have the chance to practice with herself and classmates. She turned her love of cooking into selling her stuff at a local market (something we discussed). gave up her diet because it made it hard to date. And she’d been dating. And had a boyfriend who was taking her out of town for a week. I immediately saw the brilliant woman I first met, and was frankly gutted. I was happy she was happy, I was crushed that she got where she is AFTER me, not WITH me.
My friends tell me she was genuinely troubled and that PTSD doesn’t just vanish in a few months. That she was wearing a mask with me, and that this new boyfriend—with whom she also has amazing commonalities—is getting the same “mimic” behavior. That, if anything, her wanting to reconnect means she’s looking to assuage guilt or regain a part of her still critical support system. That I turned myself inside out for her, and the most important question to ask myself is whether I should be as open to being friends as I am.
I made a lot of changes in my life for her, many positive, many that still persist. I feel like it would be a waste to go through what we did and NOT be friends. But I definitely went through the wringer and I feel like I’m now the one recovering from trauma. I believe in therapy and am going to work on this. But I’d value an objective take.
TDLR; First relationship as a widower was to an amazing but complex woman was very fraught and fell apart. After no contact for four months she asked to meet up, and she was glowing and normal and I’m shook. Was it bad timing and I missed my chance, or is she maybe not really okay? And can we still be friends?

Hi, folks!
I've thought about joining for a bit of time and I've finally got around to do so. Sorry for my english just in case - might get rough at some points.
I've been struggling with depression for... now nearly half of my life. Sometimes it was stable, sometimes worse, sometimes absolutely terrible. I've started gaining weight some time before finishing high school and then really took off after leaving the family house. I've quickly learned that "bad food makes happy" and I went overboard with it, kilogram after kilogram.
Over the years, I've tried to lose weight many times - always with a lot of hope, always with cutting something out (food I liked, snacks etc.) and exercising. Never managed to actually stick to it - at some point I always let myself take a day off, 2 days off and hey - I was back where I started... and getting worse, fatter, heavier. Mental health dropping, s***idal thoughts creeping in time and time again.
Around the end of 2022 and first half of 2023 I was at the lowest point of my life up to that point. And I thought "it's now or never", but also "hey, how about we just stop trying? Let's just eat shitty food until it kills us - at least we can die happy, since we don't have enought courage to actively take our life away". So it continued, even though I had all the reasons to give it a go - once again, no amount of hope, no amount of logic, no amount of seeing myself as a blob of fat helped get me moving.
I'm sure it's gonna sound cheesy, but it's not going to be what you think, I swear. Around the second half of 2023 I've fallen in love. Badly. For the first time in years. It progressed, as I was getting fatter and fatter, more reluctant to leave my apartment even for the most basic needs. Thing is - it was and is somebody completely out of my reach and somebody I'm not even allowed to think about this way, you know.
And this year, I broke. Remember taht "lowest point" from 2023? I got to an even lower one around the last week of April. To the point, where there was just no escape from intrusive thoughts - no way to ignore my problems. Suddenly TV shows and games stopped working. Social media stopped working. Shitty food stopped working - I was suddenly cut away from what always helped me take the edge off and escape.
And one day, a few weeks ago, it got to the point where I couldn't live. Literally couldn't. I was becoming obsessed with how strongly I feel about somebody and how much I'd have liked to just stop, since those thoughts were hurting me in the long run. And I don't know - out of sheer desperation maybe - I've started to train one day. Some pushups with terrible form, some crunches, situps and a stationary bike. And hey, wtf - it helped me a bit. I've found that "little happiness", normally supplied by food in something that never gave me any (no exercies were pleasant in any way ever for me).
I kept doing this and I'm still doing this. Every single day for 3 weeks now. I'm noting the progress, trying to break my own records, visualizing good things. I'm still mad in some unwanted, not needed, not deserved at least love, but when it's getting really bad, exercises help me get myself together.
It's weird to me, it's scary. Well, life is, always was. But there's some hope, just a little, tiny bit. I've even made a bucket list, even though I never believed in stuff like that. Even went back to doing new things - like new shows at least, not only stupid social media or reaction videos. A way ahead of me - if I can even make it - is terribly long. And along the way - who is to say, if one day exercies stop saving my head? I mean, fastfood stopped at some point, right?
I'm not really sure what my point is, it's all a mess, guys. I just... want to get myself a bit stronger, a bit tougher. Getting my life a bit better, my psyche too, my body and condition. And I kinda feel like I need to, because my own emotions are going to be the death of my one day. I guess I'm a bit scared to be hopeful. And I'm terrified of learning about the person I love getting further away from me too. Because I believe, the way I am now - still undisciplined, still depressed, still unstable - I can't survive learning that this person gets married, becomes a parent or just builds a future with someone. I'm ashamed of that and yet this is what I feel amid my current good streak.
I will be checking my weight tomorrow - for the first time since I've started exercising. I hope there's even the tiniest good change. And I hope to regain the will to live. And to stop fantasizing about people who're too above me.
Thank you for reading this, whoever you are. I hope you're getting there - wherever you're trying to get.

I believed in fairies as a kid. More than believed in them. I think something terrible happened to me, and I've just buried it until now.
Call me a typical emotion-bottling man, but I have never considered therapy. No matter what I went through, no matter how many times I thought to myself, verbatim, that I should talk to someone about this, I just never thought of it as an option. It simply wasn't on my roster. It was just one of those things that existed on a separate plane of existence than I was living in, never to cross paths or interact lest the universe collapse in on itself.
I have no problem with therapy, don't get me wrong. It isn't like I don't understand the overall appeal. I have plenty of friends who swear by it, swear it has helped them tremendously, including my wife. It just wasn't ever something I thought was in my cards.
"I just never really thought about it," I told Alice one evening, when she had brought the topic up once again after dinner.
There was a serene sense of peace wafting through the entire house that day, and I was feeling content. It was a Sunday, and swimming season, so we had dropped Emmie off that morning at the public pool for practice and gone straight to our favorite breakfast place. The rest of the day was filled with all the conversation that had built up over the week, all the topics we couldn't fully dig into with each other while babysitting our eight year old, and lounging, all crammed in between sporadic bursts of housework and paperwork we had to catch up on. It was the perfect day, in my humble opinion. It was a lovely moment of peace in the midst of a chaotic life, as is life with kids. And now the sounds of Mario Kart drifted in from the living room, Emmie's squeals cutting through the cheery music every now and then, causing Alice and I to share small smiles of acknowledgement.
Oh, to be a child again. Still a little drenched from a post-swimming shower, full of chili, eyes glowing with the reflection of a television screen.
"Well, maybe you should." My wife was scooping leftover chili into a Tupperware with a ladle. Her hair had been tied up like it was every day after dinner, as if she planned to run a marathon rather than do the cleaning up. She wasn't looking at me, dialed into the task at hand.
It's crazy how some parts of my memory could be so good, and others nonexistent.
I reached over from where I stood before the dishwasher, sliding my arm around her waist. She gave me a look, like, what?
"I just don't think it's for me, babe," I muttered, resting my mouth on her shoulder as if I was trying to skip her ears and speak right through her skin. "You know those things make me uncomfortable sometimes."
She let out a half groan, half sigh, setting down the container and the ladle and turning to face me, draping her arms over my shoulders.
"Everything makes you uncomfortable, John."
I smiled, letting my hands fall to her hips. I knew her frustrated act was just that, an act, at least for the most part.
"It's good for you," she continued pointedly, reaching up to tap her pointer finger against my forehead as I swayed her back and forth to a nonexistent tune. "Like medicine. And I know for a fact there are some things you need to work through."
I feigned offense. "You think I'm some kind of nut job?"
"Everyone needs therapy," she snarled, pulling out of my arms, but she didn't resist when I reached out and drew her back in. "Not just nut jobs."
And that was how most of those conversations went. Some got a little more heated, ending with a lightly slammed door (so as not to wake our daughter) and a whisper-shout of "this is why you need therapy!"
I feel I'm making it sound bad, but it wasn't. Even our more serious fights never quite felt like fights. They felt like playing. We were like two cats, biting and tackling and swishing our tails, but never baring our teeth to hiss. I never felt genuine, full-bodied anger towards her, and I knew she felt the same. It sounds sappy, but we were just very in love. I sometimes felt that we had never actually left the honeymoon phase.
I'm also making it sound like that conversation was incredibly common, and it wasn't. It came up maybe once every few months. I knew she was just looking out for me. She knew me better than anyone.
We had met through mutual friends, and we had initially bonded over our terrible childhoods. We both had moms who were out of the picture, and over emotional, over compensating dads, although this manifested in vastly different ways. Alice's mother left her father for a D-list rockstar type, following him on his state wide tour. She would sometimes send Alice letters or postcards from the road, although her dad wouldn't always let her keep them if they seemed to be stained with blood or seemed to have made contact with any strange white powders.
Her dad coped with anger. He never laid a hand on her, but his shouting and the sounds of glass bottles smashing against the walls kept her up almost every night. During the days he'd take her out, buy her things, go mini golfing and bowling and to the movies. Anything to seem more fun than her mother.
My mother passed away on my seventh birthday. She was driving home from work, which was at a law firm half an hour away from our house, when it began to rain. She was texting my dad her ETA when she ran a red light and a semi truck T-boned her, completely obliterating her car.
After that, everything changed. My seventh birthday could've been my twenty-first. At night it was the worst. I remember sitting with my dad as he cried, curled up in a sobbing ball on the filthy living room carpet, whimpering like a kicked puppy. He would scream and wail so loud the walls shook. He would say, over and over as if I wasn't hearing him, sometimes mumbling and sometimes shrieking, "She was cut in half. I'm sorry sir, she's gone. No, there's no chance she survived, she was completely cut in half."
The days were almost worse. During the day, when he could decrease the helpless wails into weeping at the very least, his attention turned to me. He tried to get something out of me, almost silently begging me to break down with him. Every other second it was, "How are you feeling, son? Do you understand what's happening? You poor thing, you must be devastated, your mommy is gone... Don't you want to cry?"
But I couldn't indulge, and I didn't want to. I had to wash the sheets, because he'd pissed them again, and I didn't want him to sleep in it and smell like pee when he took me to school the next day. I had to vacuum the carpet, so the next time he curled up on it and begged God to take him too, when he finally stood up, his cheek wouldn't be caked in crumbs and dust.
I don't know if I ever truly mourned. My mother's death was more like an absence, as if someone had taken a pair of scissors and carved a chunk out of my side, or snipped off a limb. I could still feel her, I could still talk to her, but all I got back was a deep ache and a crushing silence.
I hated how people reacted when I told them my mom was dead, and had been since I was a little boy. I hated the looks on their faces when they asked how she died, and when I told them. How their mouths fell open dumbly and their eyebrows twisted and contorted in sympathetic horror. "I'm so sorry, I didn't know," they said, as if there was vomit rising in their throats, and I wanted to say, "Well, you fucking asked, didn't you?"
Alice never reacted like that. In fact, she never really even asked me what happened. We were on our second date, nursing beers while leaning against the pool table a a dingy speakeasy, when she told me about her own mom. It was the first time in a long time I actually felt like the conversation was open, like I could respond and she would listen and care, but not too much. Not an uncomfortable amount. When I told her about my parents she didn't say anything, and her pretty face didn't contort. She leaned over the corner of the pool table and kissed me on the cheek, took my hand.
The day she found out she was pregnant, we promised each other to be better, to not let our child ever have to grieve alone or feel the very specific hopeless terror that only a parent can cause.
So maybe I should have listened to her. Maybe I should have gone to therapy the first time she brought it up, the first time she told me how it had helped her get through her own terrible memories. But if I'm being honest, I didn't think I had anything to get through. I had left it in the past, I had coped so far in my own somewhat crooked way, I didn't want to dig any of that back up. I didn't want to be put back in that place where I was expected to talk, to cry, to open up. It made my skin crawl just thinking about it.
"I was always the therapist," I would say to her with a crooked grin. "And I like it that way."
Then, the dreams started.
I could tell you I don't know what triggered them, I don't know why it was now. But that wouldn't be the truth. I know exactly why I started to remember.
At first, they were brief. Nightmares that I couldn't quite recall or explain, waking up disoriented and a little sick. The rest of my day would feel strange, like I was surrounded by a thick fog. Eventually, they started to wake me up in the middle of the night, drenched in sweat and screaming, scaring the shit out of my wife. Once I ran to the bathroom and threw up, barely making it to the toilet. That was when the word "therapy" came up again.
It feels like I've been in a coma for twenty years, and I'm just waking up now.
It's so strange how different the world looks to a child.
I believed in fairies as a kid. Laugh it up if you want. When I turned four, my aunt brought me this book - we've all had one, I think. It was one of those huge hardcover books filled with information about something mythical, with little patches of fabric to simulate a mermaid's scales or a dragon's claw.
Mine was about fairies, and it was so real to me. My mom would sit up with me later than she probably should have, reading to me, placing my hand on the textures to feel. I wanted to know everything about them, I became obsessed, and naturally, my parents played along. They bought me toys, books... every year I had a fae themed birthday cake, and any kid who dared to giggle behind their hands weren't invited to next year's celebration.
When I was old enough to use the internet, supervised of course, I began further research. My mom helped me navigate Wikipedia first, and they had plenty of information to sustain me for a while. My interest turned from wings and magical powers to different types of fae from every corner of the earth, mushroom rings and their alleged distaste for iron. While I still wasn't very good at reading, I would just look at the pictures until she got home from work.
When my mom died, the fairy memorabilia began to amp up. My aunt bought me new books, gave them to me wrapped and tied with ribbons with tear filled eyes, and my dad brought them up whenever he thought I needed comforting and felt strong enough to leave the house. "Wanna go look in the forest for fairies, son?"
I'm embarrassed to admit it, but I began to worship the fairies. I was convinced they lived in the forest behind my house, just behind each tree I looked at, hiding from me. I would spend my weekends escaping into the woods with a bucket and a cheap pair of binoculars, positive that this time, this day, I would see one.
At night, when my dad finally passed out in his own puddle of tears and other bodily fluids, I would pray to them. I never believed in God, we weren't a particularly religious family, and besides, I had seen what good He had done for my dad thus far. But I believed in the fairies.
I asked them for help with my father. I asked them for peace. I asked them to bring her back to me.
They never answered.
Until they did.
It was a Friday. I remember now, I'm not sure how I could have forgotten. After school I had sprinted into the shade of the trees before my dad could stop me, gripping the hem of my shirt in my fist, the thin fabric bearing the weight of two handfuls of the shiniest silverware and most colorful buttons I could find in our dusty cabinets.
I had a plan that day. I was going to lure them to me.
My path began in a clearing where I thought a ring of mushrooms may have begun to grow... but even without that, it was just the perfect spot for fairies. I could picture them flitting between the trees, chirping to each other happily, picking wildflowers to weave into flower crowns.
I walked backwards all the way back to my bedroom window, dropping another item every few steps. When I got inside and looked out my window, I could see my trail of shiny things curve through the overgrown grass in our backyard and disappear into the trees.
I was so excited, I could hardly contain myself. Tonight, surely, they would come to me. They would show themselves, and they would help me. But after another few late hours of coddling my father, finally convincing him to drink some water and get in bed, I was exhausted. I completely forgot about my plan. When I got to my room I collapsed on my mattress, not even bothering to undress before I closed my eyes.
Then I heard it. The scratching.
I opened my eyes. The moonlight shining through my bedroom window casted strange shadows across my ceiling, shadows of the swaying grass and the creaking trees.
It was strangely silent, other than the sound. Usually there was lots of noise, or at the very least a few crickets, but not tonight. Tonight, I realized, I couldn't even hear the wind.
I sat up slowly, as if in a dream, and looked toward my window. I couldn't see anything out there, nothing glaringly obvious at least, that could be making that noise.
The scratching turned to a tap. Tap tap tap, like a fingernail against a glass. It had a playful air to it, like someone was saying, look over here!
I stood, rubbing my eyes, and stumbled over. The tapping stopped abruptly when I got to the window and peered outside, out to the dark yard, pitch black if not for the moon's glow. The grass didn't sway, the trees didn't creak. I frowned and unlatched the window, sliding it up above my head.
I was right, there was no wind. Not even a gust. Everything was still outside, like it was frozen. I actually started to believe it was frozen, that time had stopped completely somehow, before I saw it.
My trail of silverware and buttons. Sparkling softly in the moonlight.
Disappearing.
It began where the path met the trees, curving off where I couldn't follow it anymore. A fork disappeared right before my eyes, right on the edge. Just vanished, as if someone who was invisible had picked it up and stuffed it in a pocket very quickly.
Then another went, a spoon. Then a particularly large gold button. Whatever was taking them was doing what I had wanted, it was taking my bait, it was coming to me. And it was as if whatever had tapped at my window had wanted me to see this, wanted to show me.
But something felt very, very wrong.
This wasn't how I had pictured it. There was no twinkling, tiny winged thing at my window, winking at me before dashing back into the safety of the trees. There were no secrets being whispered in my ear, no fairy dust or promises of better things.
Something about this wasn't right. It felt like a mimicry, almost a mockery, of what I had imagined. Like something was trying to give me what I wanted, but was rusty at it.
I didn't want this anymore.
My stomach twisted and my hands shook as I pulled the window back down slowly, watching more glittery things disappear from the grass, growing closer and closer. As soon as it was closed I quickly locked it and pulled the blinds shut, turning my back to the window as if something would happen that I didn't want to see.
Nothing happened. The deafening silence continued for a few seconds as my ears strained to hear anything else happening outside. Then the wind picked up, and the sounds of crickets, muffled by my closed window, filled the night air.
I don't remember when I fell asleep that night, I just know I felt unnerved and jumpy for a while. I woke up the next morning feeling guilty. Had the fairies really come last night? Maybe they had come to talk to me, to bring me gifts, favors, and what had I done? I had closed my window on them. I felt ungrateful. Why had I even been scared? Because it was dark outside? What was I, a baby?
When I opened my window and peered outside, I gasped. The trail of silverware and buttons was completely gone, all the way up to the last one, which I had placed on my windowsill. In its place was a shoe. I didn't know what kind of shoe it was, but it looked sort of nice, fancy. I remember smiling out the window as I opened it, as if they were looking, and taking my gift.
How could I forget that night? How could I have forgotten what happened after? I feel crazy, either like I made it all up or like I've made up everything since then, like my life isn't truly my own.
I remember telling my dad. I remember saying, "Dad, the fairies came last night!" and the absent smile he gave me.
Until I showed him their gift. The shoe. Instantly his face went pale and he snatched it from my hands, staring at me as if I was something unholy.
"Where did you get this, Johnny?"
"The fairies, dad, I told you!"
He didn't respond. Just gave me another long, solemn look, before turning away from me, still holding the present I received close to his chest. I was upset, but I knew better than throwing a tantrum. That would be too much emotion anyways, too uncomfortable. Even back then, I didn't know how to handle those things.
I didn't show him their gifts after that. I didn't want to risk having them taken away. I tried not to be scared of the fairies, even though they always came at night, but I didn't go to my window when they came anymore. I read everywhere that fairies didn't particularly like to be seen, even though this one seemed to want to be. It always began with tapping, but otherwise complete silence that almost felt like it was swallowing me... and eventually the tapping would stop, the silence would pass, and I would fall asleep. In the morning there was always another gift for me, sitting on my window sill. A sparkly gold ring, the other matching shoe, a hat... I smiled when I took every one, wanting them to know I was grateful. And I would leave things for them too, little sweets or shiny things like coins or paperclips that I found on the ground at school.
Things seemed to get better with my dad for a while. He kept to himself more, he was quieter. At night he would cry softly in his room, rather than his uproarious wails that I used to have to quell so the neighbors wouldn't come knocking. During the day, he would talk to me, but more casually. He didn't ask me how I was feeling anymore, or tell me to let it out.
I hoped this was the fairies. I felt invincible, like I had a secret superpower that no one knew about. I was friends with fairies.
Then one night, everything changed.
It started with the tapping, as always. That night I was fast asleep, catching up on well earned rest since the nightly therapy sessions had ceased.
The tapping woke me. It was that loud. It was louder than usual... but it seemed like it stopped abruptly as soon as I raised my head to look.
That was different...
That night, I had left my blinds up and my window open by accident. Since that first night, even though I wasn't scared anymore, I had always closed them... but this time, I must have forgotten.
It was silent outside. It seemed darker than usual. I could almost make out something, a shape, way on the other side of the yard, but it was too dark and I was too far away to tell.
That feeling from that first night retuned. A twisting like a hand reaching into my stomach and mixing things around, a heavy feeling in my chest like someone had stolen all of the air from my room, even though the window was open. The silence seemed to crush me, bearing down on me from every angle, making my ribs hurt.
The feeling that something was very wrong.
I don't remember deciding to stand: looking back, I have no idea why I would do that in my state of fight or flight. I don't know if I consciously chose to. I don't remember walking over, but I remember getting there, my hands on the windowsill and my head poking out into the completely still night air.
There was something there. On the edge of the trees. Right where I had seen that first fork disappear into thin air. I squinted, leaning further into the darkness to try and make out what it was.
When I finally did, the outline taking shape as my eyes adjusted to the darkness, I began to shake uncontrollably. I remember that I tried to scream, but no sound would come. I couldn't move, couldn't do anything but stare.
Two legs stood in front of the trees, facing me. Two legs, a blood-soaked pair of slacks, no shoes on the purple, swollen feet. And a jagged, violent rip in the torso where the rest of my mother's body had been severed from its lower half.
It took me a while to realize that the legs weren't standing on their own. They began to move, jerking clumsily toward the window, like something I couldn't see was struggling to hold them up. I finally forced myself out of my trance and fell to my carpet, vomiting.
I don't remember much else about that night yet. My dad came running when I started crying, I'm sure, but he didn't see what I saw. My mom's legs were gone, or hidden. Because they weren't for him.
They were for me.
We moved after that. Before now if you had asked me why we moved so far away so suddenly, I probably would have mumbled something about the grief, and it being too hard to stay where my mother had died. But I remember why now.
It was because the next morning, when I checked my windowsill, there was a hand. My mother's hand. Purple and stiff, and missing her gold wedding ring. Reaching, fingers rested against the glass, like it was trying to get in.
Like it had been tapping.
I don't want to think about what else it might have brought, had we stayed.
That thing, whatever it was, wasn't my mother, and it wasn't a fairy. I had invited something else with all my praying, with all my naive and innocent beliefs, and with all my bottled up emotions. I had invited it, and I had let it in.
And then I had forgotten everything. Maybe I bottled that up, too.
Now I remember. Now I'm having nightmares, and waking up with that sick feeling in my gut, my eyes jumping to our closed bedroom window.
Because a week ago, my daughter woke me up very early in the morning my jumping on our bed. A week ago, she shook me awake, her eager smile stretching all the way across her face. A week ago, she told me, "Dad, the fairies came last night!"
She showed me a doll, a ballerina, with a pink tutu and beautiful long blonde hair.
And now, with all these terrible memories hitting me like cold water to the face, only one keeps me awake at night.
I asked them for help with my father. I asked them for peace. I asked them to bring her back to me.
It has granted two of my wishes, in its own twisted way. My father grew distant from me and my mother was brought back in pieces.
I'm happy now. But I don't have peace. I don't think I'll ever fully have peace, at least not with a child and a wife to try and provide for, and not with all of these memories.
So what has it come back for?

TL;DR: Luigi and Saiko have the potential to be a pairing with fun contrasting personalities and character growth potential while working with what's there in canon already without much if any change.
Time for something a bit... different for this sub, at least from what I can tell. I only just joined yesterday thanks to Medi's recent video.
Before we begin, I want to start off by saying that this is in no way a "my ship is better than yours" post. You are all free to like what you want, all I'm doing is trying to spread love for a pairing I hold so dear, and why I wish more people knew what's special about it. In other words, don't take this the wrong way. With that out of the way...
Saiko Bichitaru is my favorite SMG4 character. It took a bit for me to appreciate her, but as a fan of the show since 2013, as her debut year of 2018 went by and she continued to develop into a core cast member, I thought that for a show like this it was a very well-executed character arc, with a pretty heartwarming conclusion to boot. In the years since, besides perhaps 2019 which I thought was pretty good for her character, she took a step back in favor of other characters getting the spotlight, which isn't necessarily a bad thing but part of me does wish they got to utilize certain dynamics with her more. Tari and Kaizo are obvious ones, but another obvious one that I think is largely unnoticed these days is her dynamic with Luigi.
Luigi is my other favorite character, for generally being likable while still being entertaining, but there are other, niche-er reasons too I will get into later. For now I will say that he has has a sort of "magic" about him, in that despite his cowardly exterior (occasionally gigachad moments aside, which are mainly done for comedy's sake) he has a big heart and tries to see the best in people. In SMG4, him becoming Saiko's friend during her darkest hour (heh) is one of the biggest examples of this. It started an unlikely friendship between a timid but kindly plumber and a tough and passionate rockstar, something that remains to this day, but mainly in background cameos. Despite this, I've noticed that the larger fanbase doesn't really acknowledge this much, likely to due A. the lack of major usage since 2020 and B. some fans weren't around when those videos were new. But that's why I'm here today: I am here to talk about what makes this dynamic work so well, but also that I legitimately think that while considering that, Luigi x Saiko is a pairing that can work extremely well given what's already there without much interference. Again, I'm not saying that it's "better" than other pairings involving one of these two, only that it's one of the more "realistic" pairings as a whole in my opinion. To start with, let's go over Saiko's character arc again.
PART 1: SAIKO
I don't want to turn this into a recap, so we'll go over her story briefly before getting into the parts involving the green Italian man. A fictional rockstar in a dating game from the band KS-2 brought in by Boopkins due to his loneliness, Saiko started off as an extremely clingy yandere, violently demanding attention from others if even a second was put away from her being the center of attention. After about six months of her being a villain, eventually she realized that she has a problem and became depressed over it, only fro a certain someone to come in and kickstart her redemption, slowly but surely becoming nicer and becoming friends with the SMG4 gang, notably Tari and Meggy.
I personally feel like a lot of Saiko's POV is understood if you saw certain videos happen as they aired, but it all started with Luigi's Lesson, where the usually cowardly Luigi learns about Saiko's problems and tries to help her become nicer. As you may know, he succeeded for the most part, with her doing a good deed by the end (saving Mario from choking on hot dogs), and she slowly became nicer over time. The thing is that Luigi was Saiko's first true friend, someone who saw her potential for being a good person before anyone else. In this case, I don't really count Boopkins since while he did care for her, after her debut he tried to stay away as much as he could and didn't really attempt to help her until after Luigi kickstarted that whole thing. Beyond that though, there were still moments throughout 2018 that showed Luigi being the one to help Saiko improve herself, the main one being a small moment in The Mario Cafe, but even Mario and the Diss Track had Luigi be the one to tell Saiko the truth about Bob in that arc.
All things considered, my personal interpretation is that Luigi saved Saiko's life. Without him being there for her, Saiko would've continued scared off people with her violent tendencies, and she never would've found the "attention" she desired so much via the SMG4 gang. And it all started because some easily-scared plumber saw something more in someone even he was previously scared of. Speaking of which, let's talk about him.
PART 2: LUIGI
To start with, I wanted to mention that Luigi is bisexual, not homosexual. "Gay" can be used as an umbrella term for anyone in the LGBT+ community, and Luigi has shown attraction for both men and women throughout the series, with a lean towards men mainly for comedy purposes. The 2015 episode Love for Luigi is a very notable example of this, where Luigi falls in love with Daisy and tries to win over her heart, and he succeeds by the end... but did he really? Much like several other aspects of the series, this is something only really brought up when it's convenient (like the 2016 episode Boo Busters) but otherwise Luigi is portrayed as single. Since we live in an era where they care about canon a little more, I think the only plausible explanation for this is that they broke up.
While I imagine that Luigi is fine with this these days, to get into headcanon territory a little, perhaps Luigi still feels lonely to this day. I mean, he still shows attraction to people, even showing interest in romance (such as this one clip from a Mario Does Things video from a couple of years back called "luigi tries to get with the ladies" on the Shorts channel), so there probably has to be some level of desire for it internally. Maybe he feels lonely, which is why he could relate to Saiko's struggles at first. But that's enough about headcanons for now.
Another thing about Saiko is that she just fits Luigi's taste in general. Luigi is with Daisy in Nintendo canon, and she's a strong gal with a lotta passion for what she cares about. While Luigi is plenty capable himself, in SMG4 he still shows signs of timidness and cowardice every once in a while, and of course he tends to be the butt of many jokes that he can't do anything about. From a comedy perspective that's fine, but from Luigi's POV, considering the several other responsibilities he has, the dude is tired. Someone strong and passionate like Saiko has the potential to teach him about confidence and standing up for himself in return for him teaching her about kindness and being rewarded for it. Long story short, being with Saiko not only fits Luigi's own tastes in partners, but Saiko in particular could do something that helps him better himself. In turn...
PART 3: LUIGI & SAIKO
Everything discussed leads to a relationship between two contrasting personalities with their own problems, and getting together leads to both of them becoming happier in the process. And hey, who doesn't like a ship with contrasting personalities? The thing about LxS though is that the seeds were already planted in the show itself to build off from, with the setup given in Luigi's Lesson potentially giving us just that. As for their dynamic, the times they do show up together, as I said before, consistently have them friendly without any real holes or inconsistencies. A large part of that is due to their underusage together, but even in recent episodes, we have moments such as the 2022 Christmas episode where they were cooking dinner together, or a more recent episode that shows them together at SMG3's coffee shop.
One final major point though is that I think Luigi and Saiko being a couple could bring things full circle. Saiko, a woman looking for love and improves herself thanks to a certain person starting it all.... only for said person to fall for the woman that Saiko became, and in turn Saiko falls for Luigi for being the one who started her new life and for being a kindhearted person who understands her the most, next to Tari mainly shown in the KS-2 mini-arc from 2022. In other words, the person Saiko was really looking for was the person in-front of her the whole time. If you ask me, that's a pretty fitting note to "conclusively" end Saiko's original character arc, even if it already ended around 2019.
As a side note, Luigi and Saiko have potential to be really good parents, but with the "gender roles" switched, which is always fun. Luigi is timid, caring, and tidy, while Saiko is also caring, but also passionate, tough, and cares for her friend's well-beings, both like a mom and a dad respectively. It also has a lot of comedy potential as you have the two of them learning the ropes of parenthood, and it could lead to more interactions with other characters, mainly Karen (in which Luigi already gave advice to on parenting one time, showing that he already has the ropes to a degree).
CONCLUSION
Overall, Luigi and Saiko have a lot of potential for not only their dynamic, but also the idea of them becoming a couple. I wish more people knew about this since I feel that LxS is largely seen as "MxM's Player 2" given how you only really see MxM fans mention the pairing. That isn't a bad thing at all, I myself like that pairing, but I do wish that the pairing had a little more of a fanbase of its own. But hey, that's part of why I'm talking about this now. The good news though is that there has been something of a small resurgence of the pairing already despite the fact of content, mainly through the existence of RockRage8962's fankid characters Angelo and Rin, who were made into Gmod characters by Duz/Glithware and AnEyeArtist.
Despite this, I do wish that more people understood why this pairing is special, and I hope with this essay, more people can do so. You can still like whatever pairings you like, but whether this convinces you on the ship's idea or not, I hope you at least gain a little more respect towards it. If anyone has any questions or want me to elaborate on something, let me know and I'll likely respond, but if you made it this far, thanks for reading!
BONUS: A playlist of videos containing at least one Luigi and Saiko moment, from 2018 to 2020.
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLDYLLnT8V-AT9AUb28cpE87_-a4CMbEed

https://imgur.com/a/J5XnSpk
Finally got off my butt and did my WFA recert for the first time in (way too long, like since scouts). Everyone always says once you have the training you carry less stuff but I found the opposite. I finished the course realizing "damn, long term wound management is resource intensive even for minor injuries" but I think I've got enough here to not be seriously wanting for anything. weight is 175g.
General

• 4" flat fold elastic wrap. I really need to get a vacuum sealer so I can make these on my own. more expensive than a standard packaging ACE but dang it's so much more compact
  
• Gloves
  
• Roller Gauze
  

FOOTCARE

• Uncle Bills Sliver Grippers
  
• Nail Clippers
  
• Moleskin 3x kidneys
  
• Molefoam 1x sheet (this stuff is amazing for building up around blisters)
  
• Tegederm
  

GOO

• 1x Poison Ivy wipe (unnecessary if you carry soap I guess, but I don't.)
  
• 2x Antibiotic ointment, mostly for footcare
  
• 1x Diphenhydramine ointment for bugbites
  
• 1x hydrocortizone for bugbites/rashes
  

MEDS

• 2x Tylenol for fever
  
• 4x Diamode cus ya boi got IBS
  
• 2x Benadryl for major allergies
  
• 8x Motrin
  
• 2x baby Asprin
  

BOOBOO

• 2x Small bandaid
  
• 2x Medium Bandaid
  
• 2x Large Bandaid
  
• 1x Steristrips (pack of 3) for moderate wounds
  
• 1x Dermabond (Don't seal deep wounds, but this can be good for sealing skinned knees/elbows if you're crossing water or something else gross)
  
• 1x Transparent dressing
  
• 2x Gauze pads
  

I went with transparent dressing since it doesn't need to be changed every 12hrs like a regular bandage, so a smaller moderate wound could be stabilized with steristrips and covered in transparent dressing and be good for 3-5 days (long enough to start healing properly or get out of the woods) while allowing me to monitor it without wasting any supplies
Stuff that's not shown:

• My dorky bandana with the scene assessment and patient history system on it
  
• Garmin InReach
  
• RitR notebook and golf pencil
  
• Duct tape on my hiking pole.
  
• I'll also usually keep a CAT TQ tucked in my thigh pocket if I'm doing anything with a fall risk or in an area where people do gun stuff, because improvising TQs sucks. Yeah you can do it in a pinch but you aren't getting a belt TQ or DIY windlass cinched down before you black out in 60-90s.
  

Stuff I feel like I'm missing but I don't want to make it bulky/heavier

• A tick key, this is the only thing on the list I might add. I have one in my bigger kit and its amazing.
  
• 1x More Roller gauze, tegederm, transparent dressing and gloves. If something starts getting infected and I have to start repeatedly cleaning and warm soaking, I don't have a lot of stuff here to redress effectively.
  
• A small burn pad like second-skin. They're amazing for scalding burns (like... fucking up with your stove), but they're heavy
  
• Triangle bandage: Really bulky, but much easier to use than clothing for splinting and bracing
  
• A second ACE wrap
  
• Irrigation syringe: I carry smart waterbottles so I could put a pinhole in the cap to use for irrigation, if you use nalgenes or something similar you won't have an efficient way to presurize water for cleaning wounds.
  
• Tincture of Benzoin for helping stuff stick to the foot, small, might be worth adding for 5g.
  

I've also got a larger ~750g kit that has more of everything and more trauma stuff that I take (hunting, shooting, climbing, or with groups of friends where I'm "the first aid guy"), but that definitely wouldn't qualify for this sub lmao.
Note: the 4 digit stickers are for an excel spreadsheet where I track everythings location (car firstaid kit, hunting kit, backpacking kit etc), expiration dates and inspection intervals. I'm a nerd. If you think this is bad, I strongly considered a barcode system...
Thoughts?
Edit:
Budget: (Anything reasonable)
Weight: 175g
Goal weight: unknown
Looking to: Either add things I missed, upgrade/make subsitutions for efficiency, or remove things if they're really dumb but I don't think there's any capabilities that I'm willing to sacrifice unless there's just a better way to do them
Use: backpacking and dayhikes (solo). 80% self care, 20% being able to provide good-samaritan first aid within my scope of practice (NOLS WFA, not a professional)