The moment a lot of you have been waiting for is here!
A couple of notes before you read (or after because I would just jump into the list right away too)

1. Direct quotes from Ali herself are in italics.
2. I tried my best to keep everything in timeline order. Some people like The Come Back Kid I placed in the order where they reconnected/talked about on the pod. But I did my best to note this.
3. All this information came from the FMH podcast, the Patreon, the original FMH blog, TikTok and other podcast that feature FMH/Ali. I also crossed reference information with this sub. I got most of this done with the help of the Patreon and listening to 1.75x speed but I lost accessed to the Patreon because my subscription ended.
4. I'm open to edits! Things around the matchmaker era confused me and if anything is incorrect or if I'm missing someone, please let me know! I will note where corrections are made.
5. Some people don't have anything simply because only a name was said or I couldn't find any details about the person/date
6. And of course, please be respectful of all the sub rules!

Names on the original FMH blog

• Mr. Adorable aka The Coach
• Trouble
• Waffles
• Future Husband Brian (FHB)
• Cookie
• Peter Pan
• Ambiguous Goodbye Guy
• Bad Bitch Man

AOL chatroom Boyfriend
Mentioned on Tiktok and on the pod once
Myspace Boyfriend
Mentioned on Tiktok
Third Boyfriend
Met on eCrush.com in 2002 and this was mentioned on the Cracked Up podcast, The Dave Glaser Podcast and Tiktok
The Kiwi
Met on a 2 week Model UN type youth trip in high school when Ali was 15, never a boyfriend but she had a huge crush on him, he tried to kiss Ali and she literally ran away, didn’t talk the rest of the trip but exchanged numbers and screen names (Ali’s was FineGal13 or BeachJewel760), she made him a mixtape cd called “Ali’s really cool mix for The Kiwi” but never sent it and she still has it. In 2021, he DM’d her when she posted photos of her and her mom in France and invites her to visit him in London, she says she can’t but says they should catch up if he comes to NYC
Fourth Boyfriend
Met on OkCupid when you had to use it on the computer, this was mentioned on Tiktok
The Homecoming Date or Light Switch
First boyfriend? (she goes back and forth calling him her first bf or a situationship), a family friend, a month younger than Ali, dated in high school but went to different high schools, football player, made him ask her to her Homecoming dance over email (her words), Ali hid in the bathroom the whole Homecoming dance, 3-4 revisits of this situations as adults, saw him on Bumble a few years ago and texted him that he had a typo in his bio, “he very much wanted to be with me” and now he’s married with a kid. His mom is still “obsessed” with Ali and she listens to FMH
Random college guy
Freshman year of college, Ali doesn’t have a nickname for him/doesn’t remember his real name, met this guy through a friend, was texting him to invite him over to hot tub but her phone autocorrected to “how about some hot rubbing tonight?” but Ali didn’t noticed/didn’t correct it and he never replied, Ali had a house party and got really drunk and was all over him, he left the party early, she messaged him on MySpace 3-4 times asking why he left
The Resident
Matched on Match.com, first guy she dated in NYC after college, older than Ali, a doctor, lasted 3 months ”maybe”, he didn’t like Ali’s friends, got a card from him on her birthday and it said “Love, The Resident” and it took Ali back a little, Ali drinks black coffee because of him, he coordinated having her mom visit NYC for her birthday then he broke up with her a week later
The Ghost
Met at a bar when she was 25, turns out they matched on OkCupid and they already had a date scheduled next week, they dated for 6-8 weeks, had sleepovers, “The worst ghosting experience I’ve ever had”, he borrowed The Great Gatsby from Ali’s roommate, planned to make dinner together after a beach trip in August with her friends and never showed up, Ali is blowing up his phone and gets no reply, two weeks later she finally texts “are you alive? check yes or no” and he responds “Yes”, Ali then ask if he could return the book and gets no reply again, 5 months go by and she receives the book in the mail with the note: “Here’s the book back. Sorry. P.S. sorry about last summer. I was in a bad place. You’re a great person and your salmon is amazing”, since then she has ran into him twice on the streets and matched with him on Bumble
The Coach/Mr. Adorable
First serious boyfriend at 26/27 in 2013, matched on Match.com or met through work depending if you’re listening to the pod or reading her OG blog, clean-cut look, played volleyball, Ali invited him to a friend’s birthday party and they made out in the streets at 4am, on their second date he asked Ali if she was seeing any one and when Ali said no he ask her to be his girlfriend 3 days after their first date, dated for almost 1.5 years or almost 2 years depending on if you’re listening to the pod or the Patreon, first time saying “I love you” to a guy, “lovely guy“, never would posted Ali on his instagram until Ali said something, he “lived” with her for two weeks while he was in between apartments, tried blind folding/hair pulling during sex and she didn’t like it, by the end of their relationship Ali didn’t like sex and thought she wasn’t a very sexual person, after they broke up Ali drunk texted him at 2am and he picked her up and she spent the night and she took her things in the morning in a rolly suitcase, from her blog in 2015: “I just want to be careful I don’t end up with another Mr. Adorable situation, where I find myself dating my platonic best friend”, had drinks with him in 2016 from the blog: “Not in a romantic way (at least on my end)”, Ali still talks to him sometimes through casual instagram DMs, he’s currently (as of 2021) dating someone for 4+ years and Ali thinks they’re going to get engaged
Trouble
OG 2015 FMH blog, never mentioned on the pod, “I was immediately enamored with him”, met at a Beer Olympic party but he worked with one of Ali’s best friends (Ali was still dating The Coach at the time), lived in BK, tattoos and stubble, Ali’s best friend said he was a “fuck boy”, “he very much made me see that it was the right thing for me and The Coach to not be together”, from her blog in 2015: “he has this look in his eye like he’s constantly laughing at me – in a super sexy way”, he texted her saying he didn’t see anything romantically with her and she sent a gif of someone shrugging
Personal side note: Ali has mentioned she has cheated on someone but never disclosed who she cheated on or with. I feel like she cheated on Mr.A/The Coach with Trouble because of the timeline. Just a guess.
Waffles
Matched on Bumble, OG 2015 FMH blog, he asked Ali fuck/marry/kill breakfast foods, dated 2 months around summer time, on Fourth of July while watching fireworks he said how they had a great day and Ali replied with something along the lines with “yeah, it would be better if I could call you my boyfriend”, he said he wanted a relationship but just not with Ali and shortly afterwards they stopped seeing each other
The Buffalo
Lived in Buffalo NY, 6’5, Scorpio, met in 2015 at Adults National volleyball (Ali’s team won that year) where he was heckling her while she was playing, asks Ali’s mom for her number and Ali’s mom said “I guess you’re tall enough” and told him to ask her himself, he flew her out and she met his parents, dated over summer, exclusive but never boyfriend/girlfriend (but called him her LD boyfriend on TikTok), texted and talked on the phone a lot, Ali’s best friend’s favorite ex “they had really good banter”, in October he invited her to his cousins wedding and she invited him to her friends wedding, after Ali bought her ticket to his cousins wedding (with the promise he would buy her ticket to her friend’s wedding) he ghosted and stonewalled her, she “poured her heart out to him on voicemail” and he never replied, she asked him to pay her back for her ticket and he got mad that she “made this about money”, 2 years later he told Ali that he freaked out because he really liked her and saw a future with her but knew she would never move to Buffalo and it would “never work”, Ali said at the time she would have considered moving for him, Ali used to have him blocked on Facebook and told all her friends not to update her on info about him (unless she asked). He’s now married and goes to Disney with his wife (which Ali kind of scoffs at?), Ali said on TikTok that she dodged a bullet
Baby Bic
Met him at Adults National years ago, had a flirtationship with him in 2016 when he was 19 years old, ran into him at the Adults Nationals 2021, last texts she got from him were about getting his fake ID taken away at the bar and him visiting her in NYC but Ali didn’t want to buy him beer and drink at her apartment
The Chef
Matched on Tinder around 2016, he loved karaoke, “total shit”, asked Ali to be his girlfriend and to meet his mom after a month, off and on dating, broke up the first time because he was talking to his ex, lied and flew to Mexico to see his ex while dating Ali, that ex sent Ali a Snapchat of them in bed together on that Mexico trip, Ali broke up with him via text and called him a shitty boyfriend, he’s the reason Ali deleted her Snapchat because of drunk Snaps he would send post break up, FB messaged Ali 6 years later (while Roark was visiting/staying with Ali) and said sorry for being a shit head. Ali’s best friends hated him
The Dentist
Met on Halloween in the wild, Canadian, dated NYE 2016- May 2017 “nice guy, not my guy”, one of Ali’s best friend’s favorite ex “he adored you, “he was too sweet for me” and “he had no edge to him”, he painted Ali’s cat for her 30th birthday but she was annoyed it was just Rory and not both cats, The Chef texted Ali while on a date/sleeping at his house
ASV - Aspiring Sober Vegan
Met through a friend (her best guy friend’s college roommate) the day before she had to fly out to her dad’s memorial, a doctor, into meditation, remembered him “being cuter” when they went on a first date, felt “the spark”, had “omg this is awesome sex”, Ali described this relationship as a “slow burn” and “the most attracted she ever been to a partner” even thought she didn’t think he was that cute in the beginning, dated 2-3 months before he tried to ghost Ali but they talked and broke up, four months later they start casually dating/FWB because he’s moving but this turns into a ‘middle distance relationship’ and he moves to Philly, had a lot of communication issues but didn't have a lot of fights, wants to live in Ohio and give a % of his income to charity, Ali was close to saying ‘I love you’ but didn’t, he uninvited her to meet his extended family and they got in a fight, broke up with her a couple weeks before their 6 month anniversary at the park while on a picnic and told her that she’s still his favorite person, Ali used to think he was “the one that got away” and would frequently have dreams about him. From what Ali knows, he's sober but not vegan
The Scientist
2017 or 2018ish, from San Diego, went on one date, Ali ended up ghosting him due to the decline in her dad’s health, saw him on Hinge while she was in San Diego for 3 months in 2020, texted him and apologized for ghosting him, ended up going on 2-3 more dates, took a selfie in front of his house and sent it to him but acted like she didn’t know that was his house and made a TikTok about it, things ended up not working but she doesn’t make it clear on who ended it. She can now see she shouldn’t have been going on dates during this time when her dad was sick.
Good on Paper Divorced Dude
Met a couple of years ago (she told this story on TikTok in 2020) on Bumble
The Groomsman
Met at her friend Ashley’s wedding in Chicago Oct 2019, had a “two night stand” with him, texted/talked/FT’d for 3-4 months, divorced, never dated seriously/FWB, saw each other a couple time when he came to NYC, Ali stopped talking with him due to FMH and her trying to find a serious relationship, he starts dating someone, follows FMH on insta, slid into her DM in 2022 and then sent her soup while she was sick, turns out he’s single again, 2 months later Ali is heading to Chicago and texts him “Hello! Reminder that my arrival to your neck of the woods is imminent” and turns out he is now seeing someone and Ali doesn’t see him while in Chicago (at least she doesn’t mention it)
Unnicknamed person
He was her plus one at her best friend from college’s NYE wedding 2019/2020, met and hung out with Ali’s mom, posted photos of them together on her personal Insta story, “fully dating but weren’t official hehe” doesn’t have a nickname/never gave him a nickname? This could be The Latvian/the person she texted her friend in DC about saying “I think I’m on a date with my husband”

Starts FMH on January 2020 on Instagram/TikTok

The Traveler
He was browsing Bumble while Ali was in the bathroom during their first date, he was banned from Bumble and was using his grandma phone number. Ali turned down a second date
The Duke
Early FMH, went for long periods of time in between texts, 7-8 Zoom dates while Ali was in San Diego and he was in NY, Ali said you could see three of his ex’s on his instagram page (without scrolling), they finally went on one date and it was “meh” but they did kiss on their date
The Oyster
Matched on Bumble (he had one photo and no bio) two weeks before Valentines Day, Gemini, a lawyer, part of the 13 First Dates in 30 Days series (he was #13), dated Feb 2020-Aug 2020, love bomber, felt “the spark” and became official after 3 dates, best first date ever??? at the time, said “I love you” to Ali after two weeks, “For most of my relationship with The Oyster, he didn’t live in the city he had moved to Connecticut without telling me”, would fight all the time, opposite political views, Ali felt like a “fucking summer camp director” because she planned all their dates and he would get upset if Ali didn't have a plan, sought out a therapist (Megan) because of her relationship struggles because of him, went to Mass/church, he wanted a traditional marriage/life/wife/kids (at one point had Ali thinking she wanted that), didn’t want to live in NYC, didn’t support BLM, Cindy hated him
The Pilot
Went on 3 dates, texted a lot, didn’t hear back from him in four days and when she said she was looking to date someone who showed more consistency, he replied saying he met someone the day after their last date who seems to have more free time than Ali and he wants to pursue that but would like to be friends, Ali said on TikTok that this other women “bent her schedule to his schedule” and she was unwilling to do that. Mostly talked about him on TikTok
The Analyst
Matched on Bumble two years ago and went on one date, re matched in 2021 and he stood Ali up, she send him a text “getting stood up” script and he never replied. Only mentioned him on TikTok (?)

Ali and Roark start FMH: The Podcast February 2021

The Boomerang
First date on the pod? I couldn't find anything else about him
The Scuba Diver
The Music Man
One date, “he didn’t do anything wrong, he’s just not for me”, amped up small talk, complimented Ali a lot which made her feel awkward cause she wasn’t feeling it, he texted her and asked for a second date and Ali sent the no ghosting script
The Bet
Uses the phrase “ok bet”, 28 years old shoe designer, only went on one dinner date to a spot he picked, turns out its cash only and he didn’t bring cash, was not into him , not looking for the same thing
The Dinosaur
Nickname was previously The Hawaiian, first date at Dinosaur BBQ, stood in a parking spot to save for Ali, he asked for a kiss after their date and Ali declined saying maybe next time
The Rose
He sent her a rose on hinge, first date was an hour long walk in the park while drinking beer
The Comic
Matched on Hinge, older than Ali (Ali’s friends express how happy they were to hear that), had brunch on their first date (was the first part of a double header but the second guy canceled), listed as “moderate” politically on Hinge, good and easy convo, went back and forth twice over text and then never heard back from him, “technically not ghosting...”
The Camper
Met in the wild at a volleyball tournament in July, lives in Chicago, 27 years old, hung out the whole time, over heard Ali asking someone to get her a make out partner, gave Ali his number, drunkly ask him for a FT date in the future and he didn’t reply, Ali texts him again about a volleyball thing and he replied back with not a lot of enthusiasm, Ali is going to Chicago in Sept for a volleyball tournament and she’s already planning on playing 4-on-4 with her best friend vs. his roommate and maybe The Camper, he texts her saying he has to work on the date of the tournament and won’t be able to do the 4-on-4 game, “I feel like I got broken up with someone I never want to date in the first place”

Ali’s Matchmaker contract starts in August 2021 - 6 matches

The Schmoozer
Went on a dinner date, was chatting up the waitress in a kind of creepy way, was bragging about a lot of things and it turned Ali off and Ali texted him her no ghosting script
The Accountant
1st matchmaker match, 31 years old, lives in BK, his dad has also passed away, easy to talk to, on the third date she wasn’t sure if she saw a future with him and in her gut doesn’t feel like this would be a slow burn, Ali breaks things off with him, months (?) later he sent Ali a 5 min long voice memo and they said they were both down to see each other as friends. He later on dated and ghosted Erica
The Aussie
Matched on Hinge, in politics, from Australia but lived all over the place, asked Ali what she’s looking for on the first date and he said he’s “casually looking for something serious”, Ali accidentally walks up to a different person on their second date, Ali texts him saying she would love to see him before he leaves on a trip and she wasn’t happy that it took him till the next day to reply and he can’t see her before he leaves
The Goalie
Was supposed to be Ali’s 2nd match, he’s a paying client, Ali didn’t hear back from him for a while when she told him where she lived, he wrote to the matchmaker saying that she lived too far away even though it states where she lives in her matchmaker profile
The Journalist
2nd matchmaker match, ended things because she was dating/pursuing things with The Discoball and paused her matchmakers matches

The Threepeat
Matched multiple times on dating apps but this recent time with Hinge, Amazon seller, first date was a pizza lunch date (with bubbles aka champagne) and he gave her a single yellow carnation, talked a lot about her “side hustles” aka her food blog, coaching, FMH and the pod (Ali didn’t mentioned the name on FMH), had an awkward half kiss during the date and then gave her a peck when they said goodbye, he had no night stands by his bed?, spent the night but told public pod they had a movie night, different kissing styles, 6 dates, broke things off with Ali two days before her first date with The Rower WHILE Ali was on a Halloween girls trip
The Rower
Dated from Halloween 2021 till early Feb 2022, Pisces who is 6 days older than Ali, has an ex-fiancé (they dated for 8 years, engaged for two of them, she broke off the engagement with him 1.5 years ago once he started dating Ali), has a shared dog with this ex, slept together around Xmas on the fourth date and Ali got a UTI, first time having “omg this is awesome sex” since ASV, first person Ali slept next to wearing an eye mask "that's a big step for me", had him watch 90 Day Fiancé, on New Years Day told her that he sees “long term relationship potential” with her but doesn’t want to be exclusive after 5 dates, “we didn’t talk all week”, he said he wasn’t as ready as he though to date someone seriously and “I don’t know why I don’t want to be in a relationship with you” they broke up over the phone, Ali said he’s a good human and wants to date someone like him, 3.5 weeks later Ali drunk texted him at 3:00 am saying “its really hard not to talk to you” which Ali said was a lie, he replied back (few days? A week later?) while Ali was on another date and it made her cry a bit, she replied back saying “the door is closed but not locked” in regards if he wants to get back together. “Fin… for now”

2022

The Discoball
Matched on Hinge but didn’t go on a first date for two week, Gemini, used to be a singer in a band, moved from DC to NYC, went on 7 dates in 2022, had a dog w/ ex and ex got full custody once he moved, met one of his friends on the second date, slept with him on the second date “morning and night”, he tried to find the podcast without knowing the name, podcasted from his house in DC, he would send Ali photos of them together “all the time”, gave a virtual presentation from his hotel room, did Molly together in DC, had him watch 90 Day Fiancé, moved to BK (didn’t see each other for 2 months pre-move), had a sex-less sleepover (a milestone for Ali), he showed up for her on her dad’s death date (something that a person she’s dating has never done), used to listen to the pod but stopped before they stopped seeing each other, ghosted her after they had a talk about moving things forward to exclusive and Ali texted him something along the lines of “your silence is the answer” when she didn’t hear back from him for a week and he ghosted her. Ali said he sucks in #77 AUA
Lisbon
The Brit
M&M
The Come Back Kid
They went on 2-3 dates in Nov 2018 and reconnected in May 2022, "felt immediately comfortable", sat next to a very drunk lady on their second 1st date and was supportive but "didn't step on Ali's toes" when the drunk lady said something offensive to Ali, couldn’t remember if they slept together or not, knows about FMH, ghosted Ali
The Trainer
The Cold Brew
The Nomad
3rd matchmaker match, reminded Ali of The Oyster, wanted kids and didn’t want to live in NYC forever, Ali was upset at first because her matchmaker was supposed to screen for that but the matchmaker DID check and it wasn’t mentioned when she was screening The Nomad, no second date because those are dealbreakers to him
The Catcher
Matched on Bumble, “good not great” after their first date, ~April 2022, talked about sports a lot on their first date
The Gentleman
4th matchmaker match, knew about Ali’s FMH socials before their date, Ali didn’t like his texting style, awkward intro on their first date “like hugging a 2 x 4”, he runs a dating event company and actually email Ali to be a guest on the pod when FMH first started, awkward goodbye, didn’t discuss the actual first date on the main pod because she doesn’t want to give him a reason to reach out again
The Tennis Pro
Ali had a good time on their date, “He is an adult, he’s mature” BUT “I don’t think he was into it”
The Padre
Matched on Bumble, 3 dates, from San Diego, “energy mismatch”, doesn’t want to know or listen to FMH, no psychical connection/kiss, only a kiss on the cheek on their last date, “I haven’t spoken to him since Friday night [a week]”, she didn’t want to do what The Threepeat did to her (break up while on vacation/traveling), she said it might be a MOO

Roark leaves and Erica joins the pod Oct 31st 2022

Captain Kirk
5th matchmaker match, found him on Bumble before their in-person date, ghosted Ali AND the matchmaker???
6th matchmaker match
Last match and Ali states she will not talk about this date or anything about it
JFK Kirk?
Matched on Bumble, didn’t realize he’s located in SD, exchanged personal instagram info, not sure where things went or how things ended

Kirk #1
Met in the wild, make out a lot the night they met, “stealing kisses throughout the night”, exchanged numbers, planned a date (no specifics, just the day) but when Ali texted him day of he asked to reschedule (no specifics again), he replied back that he’s picking up a rental car, told him she’s looking for someone to respect her time and he never replied back

2023

The Falcon
First date of 2023, matched on The League, first nickname was “League Kirk”, hard to talk to, felt like Ali was always reaching for the next topic, likes to travel, “there wasn’t a vibe”, MOO
The Roommate
Used to be her friend’s roommate and have met before (Ali doesn’t remember but it was the day after that exclusive convo with The Rower), “totally cute”, reunited at their mutual friend’s engagement party January 2023, made out at the bar, comes back to her place and sleeps over (no sex), Ali questions why her friends never set them up and its because he was taking a break from dating, first date they made out a lot at the bar (again), “I really felt like we were already a couple”, “It didn’t feel like a first date”, mentions her FMH content has popped up on his FYP, tried texting him after their date and he wasn’t giving effort, she’s glad she didn’t sleep with him because “one night stands aren’t my thing”, MOO
The Belgian
Matched on Bumble, accidentally had their first date during a trivia night at a bar, easy to talk to
The Viking
Ali forgot they had a first date on the day of said date
Tinder Man
Matched on Tinder (duh) on Valentine’s Day, first Tinder date in three years, good convo on first date but got a pushy vibe from him at the second bar they went to, put his hand up her sweater and was kissing her in the bar, made Ali uncomfortable and she told him that after he asked her on a second date
The Historian
Matched on Bumble, good conversation on the first date with a wide range of topics like “urban planning and its impact on feminism”, he’s in grad school
The Georgian
Matched on Hinge, he asked if she was free on Friday and she said yes but didn’t hear back from him in two days and in that time she made plans for Friday, rescheduled for a Saturday afternoon date at a dive bar, ate on her way to her date “it would be next level rude to eat on the subway”, good first date, talked about places he wants to take her to
The Publicist
Matched on Tinder, lives in BK, Jewish, one year younger then Ali, good first date, invited him to the Chaotic Singles Party that night, came over to Ali's apartment (which Ali said was messy) before and he made her favorite cocktail for her, a couple of listeners met him at the CSP, goofy and silly convo mixed with deep and serious convos, second date was at the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens and a tasting menu dinner, he made a Resy reservation and Ali got an email saying she was added to it ”fuck receiving gifts, THAT’S my love language”, he's into words like Ali, he sneezed and Ali said "God bless you" but then corrected herself and said "gesundheit" and he leaned over and kissed her and said he loves that she cares about her words, he met her friends on the third date ”It felt so easy. It felt so comfortable”, her friends took “sneaky” picture and videos of them together which Ali said she loves a sneaky pic, took all their date recap videos on his phone, cooked Ali steak on their fourth date, "it's very comfortable", had him watch 90 Day Fiancé, Ali met two of his friends and some of his teammates he plays a rec sport with, had sex the day they took a trip outside of the city, Erica met him before their trip to Greece and I said “he’s dorky in a good way”, WhatsApp video chatted while in Greece and told her “see you in two days!” at the end of their call, said she felt less anxious about him compared to other relationships while on vacation, sent him a birthday present while she was in Greece, felt an energy shift coming back from vacation and didn’t hear back from him 3 days after she came home, Ali requested a call to talk about this distances she was feeling, ”I did the 12 date rule and it didn’t work!”, she said the distance help her see that they’re not compatible, went on a total of 9 dates. Ali talks about the “break up” on episode 123
Mr. Chaotic
Matched on Tinder but he saw Ali at the Chaotic Singles Party and Cassidy the host is there mutual friend, went to a brewery and played games on their first date (Ali said this was her favorite first dates in episode 147 where they recapped 2023), works in entertainment industry, very high energy, knows about FMH and he said she's entertaining to watch, splits his time between NYC and some unknown city, texted while she was in Greece, ”The man gives good texts”
Random Matchmaker Match
Withdrew his match to Ali because he found her FMH socials. Talked about on #71 AUA
Gone with the Wind
Matchmaker match, said some gross things about women in volleyball outfits on their first date, Ali told her matchmaker about this, ”I would describe him as misogynistic overall”, Ali was glad he did say those weird things so early on so she didn’t waste her time, the matchmaker flagged his account. This was around June 2023
The Rock
Ali knows him from an activity that they used to be involved with in the city (she's very vague about what this is) from 8 years ago, he had a very serious/long term GF when they met, follows her personal Insta, has never talked about him because he’s never been a “prospect”, summer 2023 they met up to catch up and found out that he’s now recently single but he’s moving out of NYC for work, Ali texts Cindy saying she thinks this is a date, Cindy said to tell him that you really want to kiss him, he ends up telling Ali “I really want to kiss you”, made out at the bar, Ali invited him back to her apartment and they had sex the night before Ali ended things with The Publicist, “one night stand vibes” but she said she was down to do it again, Patreon only and talked about on #75 AUA
The Tourist
Matched on Hinge, just moved to Brooklynn, went to a brewery in BK for their first date, Ali showed up to the date dripping in sweat, allergic to cats, he sent Ali a ‘no ghosting’ text the next morning
The Stout
Matched on Bumble, ”we had really great banter right away”, laughed the whole time on their first date, talked about going on a second date during their first date
Speed Racer
Matched on Bumble, drinks first date, axe throwing second date, made out after their second date, MOO, randomly texted Ali ~6 months later because he said one of Ali’s date recap videos about him popped up on his FYP (Ali and Erica think this is a lie), he thought Ali wasn’t into him, he claims he was doing all the work with texting even though there was only a few messages since they exchanged numbers after their second date
Billy Joel
Recently sober, Ali said she felt like they had several inside jokes before they met in person, ate pizza on her way to their first date, second date was getting coffee and going to the museum, they cooked dinner together for their third date at Ali’s apartment and they watched 90 Day Fiancé (he didn’t like it), he Googled how to clean a red wine stain when it spilled on her countertop, he asked if she wanted to have sex and she turned it down, the next day/the day before a 7am flight Ali booty called him and they had sex, she was drunk and said the sex wasn’t good/they stopped mid way, helped Ali pack for her flight, Ali said he’s at a crossroad and he doesn’t seem like a long term fit, Erica found a condom on the ground while cat sitting, Ali said she didn’t regret hooking up with him but wishes she hadn’t done it, MOO
Sales Cycle
30 seconds in and Ali said he was very boring, only really talked about his job, stared at Ali’s boobs, “might be a MOO”, texted her ‘merry christmas’

2024

Pie Guy/Dr. Laundry
Matched on The League, 34 years old, requested a nickname change from Pie Guy to Dr. Laundry, he had to cancel their second date because he got hit by a car, went on two dates, Ali sent him a pic of his subway stop saying something along the lines of “the stop isn’t looking as cute today” and turns out someone he dated with in that photo, were supposed to go on a third date the night she got back from a bachelorette party but he didn't answer her text when she said she landed, the next day he asked her how her trip was not acknowledging her previous text at all, Ali expressed her disappointment and he replied that he was tired last night, she said she would've been understanding if he said something then ghosted her
Andddd I stopped listening to the podcast around the Dr. Pie Laundry Guy but have stayed up to date with everything via this sub.
I have a huge interest in dating culture, human behavior and data similar to Ali and this little project of mine was really interesting once I got the framework of this list. I started this list once I found this sub in December 2023 and started re listening to the Patreon while working out (and lost 10 lbs ayeee) and writing down information in my notes app. I did my best to keep this list unbiased and just give facts and information that was said.
My own thoughts after making this list is that I'm very sad for Ali. I didn't realize the extent of her dating history. I think about my own dating history or even my friends who are in their 30's and dating and Ali's dating lore runs so deep. Is Ali unlucky with love? Did she pass on someone that could have been great for her? How has she had so many dates with little success in a long term partner or even going beyond 6-8 dates? Or is Skyline the person she has been waiting for? What's the pattern with all this dates/men? So many questions.
I truly do hope Ali finds her guy because I believe theres someone for everyone. Until then, I'll be hopping into this sub (cause y'all are too funny and give the best advice) and waiting for Ali to find Mr. Height.
Enjoy and I look forward to everyone thoughts! I'll keep my eye out for any edits that need to be made.
Bonus quotes:
“Longest relationship was a little under a year and a half. Haven’t made it past 6 months with anyone else” - AUA #7 11/27/21
“I spent the first 10+ years of my dating life being sort of perennially single” -1. The Actual First One episode 2/21/21
"I think my parent's story is the reason why I think that I can romantically get back together with an ex and it'll work out" -The Dave Glaser Podcast 4/5/21
“Almost every relationship I’ve ever been in, with a couple of exceptions, started as a situationship.” -21. The Undefined One 7/11/21
“All of my boyfriends have been white” -Ali’s BFF Special on Patreon 4/23/22
“You definitely need an older guy” -Cindy on Ali’s BFF Special on Patreon 4/23/22
“I’ve been on the dating apps since high school. Dating websites at the time” -Ali’s BFF Special on Patreon 4/23/22
“Who would be the perfect man for Ali?”
“Clearly a combination of the The Dentist and [the early stages of] The Buffalo” -Cindy on Ali’s BFF Special on Patreon 4/23/22
“Do you consider The Rower or Disco ball to have been situationships?”
“No, I don't consider either The Rower or The Disco Ball to be situationships” -question asked on TikTok 11/9/22

So I was reading a very heated debate on a classic car Facebook group a few minutes ago.
SITUATION
The seller (Male, but under a business name, think "Billy Jones Business") has advertised the vehicle online, giving a very brief description of the car, but enough to make them interested.
They have asked for a quick sale, and no time wasters.
At the same time, another individual (Female) has posted a very similar, but more brief description to Marketplace, with screenshots of the original post, but with a different sale price.
Messaging
The buyer has them messaged the seller asking for a time to meet, location, and some general queries about the vehicle.
Has also pointed out that someone else has screenshot the ad and is advertising it for a higher amount.
The "seller" has then only stated, constantly

Message me at 04xx yyy zzz, no time wasters

And responding to the other ad (with the screenshots) gets

Message at 04aa bbb ccc

(A different number)
The Facebook posts
Now this has been pointed out to be a common scammer tactic on Facebook and CarSales, they want you to go off the platform and then they will say things like

I need to know you are serious, I want a deposit before you get the address

Now, side note, I myself encounter this scam a lot, quote often get told I need to make a deposit before I can have a VIN for a PPSR, or before I can come and see the car, the scam being you give them $500 or $1,000 and then boom, they vanish and never respond, quite often because "banks are too slow" you send the deposit over a Cash App or PayPal. They do this because Facebook and CarSales block you if you try and request dodgy payments
Anyways, after the possible buyer posted this to a few Facebook groups, and a lot of people agreed it was scammy, and that they saw the same car and we're curious (as the price was just slightly better than the market rate), a gentleman with a similar but slightly different name (Think William instead of Billy, and a completely different surname) has jumped on saying that (italics added for context):
1) They posted the ad from their business page (except the ad was posted using a Facebook profile, not a Facebook page)
2) The other person is their partner (except, why post with screenshots and not the original photos, and why post at a different price and location to the original car?)
3) When asked why "they" are using use a very common scammer tactic (Taking the conversation off site, and they simply refuse to answer this question, instead redirecting the conversation to say it is "safer")
4) When asked why they refuse to answer the questions, "they" argue that they have no issues answering questions (to which many responded pointing out they are refusing to answer questions to many people who have now located the ad and sent queries)
5) When asked why they are using the common scam tactics of screenshots and multiple locations, as well as locked profiles with fake names, "they" responded that they are "Expanding their market"
6) Finally, when questioned by the Admins of at least 3 classic car groups that allow sales posts in those groups, why they haven't posted in those extremely targeted groups for those specific cars, they have stated again, it's because those groups don't allow them to "narrow down to serious buyers only" (which all those admins in various ways pointed out it was a crock of shit)
7) When pointed out that what "they" are doing is very scammy, they instead accused everyone else of trying to build an organised scam on "other pages" and then implies that Facebook groups are pages.
My experience
I myself located the ad, and it was actually for something I would be interested in looking at given that my daily was recently written off, and this car is right on the border of using as a daily or putting on historical rego, in fact, I'd seen it before these posts and had thought about sending a message, I was able to independently confirm that:
1) The seller refuses to answer questions
2) They are using a Facebook profile with a fake name of a business
3) That business also doesn't have an ABN listed (at least under that business name)
4) They refuse to answer questions and immediately direct you off site to a mobile number
The two scenarios
1) Dude is a scam
2) Dude is a boomer that doesn't realise they are looking like a scam

At last night’s Fluvanna County School Board meeting, members of the public presented evidence obtained through a Freedom of Information Act request that School Board Chair Andrew Pullen had mislead the public about an application for a charter school.
At the April 10 School Board meeting, members of the board decided they would not take action on a proposed charter school application. However, a FOIA request revealed that prior to the April 10 School Board meeting and without the participation or consent of the larger board, Pullen had worked directly with the Deputy Secretary of Education, Emily Anne Gullickson, to submit the application for the charter school. Gullickson said the application was ready for “committee review” and thanked Pullen for his “thoughtful submission” as of April 5, a full five days before the Board met to discuss the application. Pullen was later invited to a meeting with the Secretary of Education, Deputy Secretary of Education, and Joy Barresi, the applicant for the charter school, which took place on April 30th.
At the May 8th School Board meeting, community members spoke both in opposition to the charter school and Chair Pullen’s failure to conduct the process in an open and transparent way. Chair Pullen claimed that his actions had been misinterpreted by the public, the Board, and the Department of Education.
“I will note as a board member who is one of five voices ultimately when we vote on things that I was displeased that one of the board members, without consulting anyone else at this table, did send the charter school application to the state,” School Board member James Kelley said. “Fundamentally we act with one voice, and when someone using an official email address sends something to the state, it would be an easy assumption that it is the voice of all five board members.”
Background:
Video of the school board meeting can be found here. Starting at 1:37:00, the public presents the evidence that Pullen submitted a charter school application to the Virginia Board of Education. School Board member comments followed immediately after.
Here is the original email Pullen sent to Julianne Szyper, Liuetenant Governor Winsome Sears’ Chief of Staff, and the thread that followed. As can be seen, Deputy Secretary of Education called it a “thoughtful submission” and said she “received confirmation from VDOE on Friday 4/5 that they received your application and would be preparing it for committee review.” Pullen goes on to clarify that he “was more or less looking for feedback on the application, but whatever you all think is best is fine with me.” (Italics added for emphasis.) It is not clear whether the application is officially under review or not, and Pullen has refused to answer questions asking for clarification.
Here is a copy of the email inviting Pullen along with Joy Barresi (the charter school applicant), Secretary of Education Aimee Guidera, and Deputy Secretary of Education Emily Anne Gullickson to a zoom meeting to discuss the application. Pullen responds that he will “try to listen in or participate if you all feel that’s appropriate and I’m available.” It is not clear if he attended or what was discussed at the meeting.
All of the emails obtained through the original and follow up FOIA requests can be found here.

(There are a few content warnings past this point. Abuse, Selfharm, sexual abuse, and of course the tagged.)
I knew it would happen eventually. She has always found joy in terrorizing my little sister and I, especially when things start looking up for us. I say my little sister, because we were both adopted and she wasn't. It allowed her to get away with all types of abuse growing up, including sexual. Us being adopted was a big thing. She never wanted it and even expressed so when she'd abuse us.
"If you say anything, I'll say that you did this to me because mom will believe me over you and then I'll get to live by myself again." That type of thing.
I had actually blocked a lot of it out and downplayed a lot of it until after my mom died and my sister's abuse escalated to borderline psychotic. I don't normally say that, but our Nan had taken temporary custody of us and had us see psychologists. Mostly because the way my older sister acted on the night of our mom's death and the morning afterwards made everyone super suspicious of her and my little sister and I terrified of her. I could elaborate, but it would make this post several pages long, but it's also exactly what you think I'm insinuating.
Well, her sessions came to the conclusion that she most likely had some sort of anti-personality disorders, but since she was 17 and not a legal adult, they couldn't label her with anything like that. She very quickly became super aggressive after learning of this and refused to go back to the doctor. Or any doctor for that matter.
She did a bunch of stuff after this to try and go live with her older boyfriend. She lied to CPS that we were abusing her. She filmed my little sister and I without consent and sent it around the school via group chats. Hell, she even lied on the stand when her boyfriend's mom attempted to file for custody of her. Luckily, the judge called her out on her perjury and told her to knock it off and stop wasting resources. She even stole our adoption papers, our birth certificates, our SS cards, and more and shipped it off to her boyfriend's house. Unfortunately for her, our Nan hired a PI to track her movements because she was clearly unwell, and she also didn't delete the group chat or log out of Facebook on my little sister's phone where she clearly stated "I'm not going to jail over taking some goddamn stack of papers!"
Despite all of that we had to suffer under the same roof as her for a few months until her 18th birthday. She wasted no time in making sure we suffered. I did every class activity possible to not be in the same house as her. When I expressed what was going on to some people at school, they didn't believe me because and I quote "That sounds like some lifetime movie bullshit and besides, your sister claims that you're the one actually hurting her." Apparently she would purposely hurt herself or cut herself and send pictures/videos to people and claim that we held her down and did it ourselves. Abusers groom their peers just as much as they abuse their victims.
I cut contact with her the second she left the house. The last thing she told me was "Family doesn't do this to family, but you're not my family. You're not my sister." She had a shit eating grin the entire time as she packed.
The only other times I saw her since were by accident during COVID when I worked a diner and she was door dasher. She didn't recognize me because I had a mask on and because she was high on something with her kids in the backseat. (She wasted no time baby trapping the now ex boyfriend with 3 kids back to back. We know it was babytrapping because she left her unopened and unused Depot shot in her room after she moved out.) The other time was at our Nan's funeral. She was barred from it, but she still showed up at the end of the service and was promptly kicked out. That didn't stop her from slowly driving around the parking lot and looking for me as I hid in my best friend's car. I caught that on video.
Apparently, some members of the family believe that what she did isn't that bad, that she's family, and that "it happened so long ago!" 4 years isn't a long time and I don't want to hear shit from the people that let their son beat his wife and kids and shoot the family dog in front of them to prove a point. They've been leaking information slowly to her despite me saying as little as possible. Spoon feeding is what I think it's called and now she's been trying to reach out to me via social media on new accounts that I don't have her blocked on.
She hasn't private messaged me, but she's been harassing my little sister ever since she left. I'm just exhausted at this point and I don't need the stress. I'm moving soon and I plan on keeping all my information to myself again. I wish I could move cross country instead, but it is what it is. You can't just up and leave a lot of situations.
UPDATE 5/4/2024:
She reached out directly through Facebook messenger, just as I knew she would. It genuinely made me angry and disgusted. I'm not going to post the screen shot, but I will just type out what she wrote word for word. She actually sent this message at the beginning of April, shortly after this post, but I never bothered to really update here because if I'm being completely honest, she just reconfirmed that she has never changed and is still as selfish as ever and that I could care less as long as she stays away from everyone I care about in my life.
The message read as:
"Hey I just wanted to reach out and say I love you and think of you. And that I know we always didn't get a long as kids. I was very toxic and selfish a lot of the times. I couldn't help who I was as a child but I can help who I am as a grown woman and I just wanted to apologize for a lot. I was going through pictures with my girls and they wonder why I don't talk to my sisters anymore. I was just going to reach out and see if maybe you and (little sister) wanted to meet up with me one day and meet my girls and maybe catch up. If not that's okay I totally understand. I really needed to reach out and say my peace."
That last line was something that made me see red and it took my partner soothing my pregnancy rage with some frozen peanut butter to calm me down. I think in my fit of rage I repeated "THIS WAS NEVER AN APOLOGY IF IT WAS JUST FOR YOU!" 15 times at minimum.
Her verbiage added to the rage as well. To anyone else it seems like a slightly genuine apology, but as someone who lived with her for over 15 years, I can translate this flavor of narcissism nicely for you. "I don't remember\* what I did to make you upset, but now that I'm being inconvenienced because it's difficult to explain to my kids that no one in my direct family talks to me due to the stuff I don't remember doing I felt the need to reach out and apologize. If you don't respond that's okay! It happened long enough ago for me to think that you need to get over it and if you haven't- then you're the problem because I clearly have. :)"
*I put remember in italics because she does remember and if I was to bring any of it up as my reasoning as to why I don't have contact with her, if for some reason someone was holding a gun to my head to make me have this theoretical conversation, it would be met with classic DARVO and the narcissist's prayer.
I actually told my little sister the day after just to give her a heads up that she's changed her pattern of behavior. My little sister told me some new information. Apparently, she sent the EXACT same message to her when she was pregnant and just swapped the names around, which is odd because her kids weren't old enough to be having conversations as deep as she mentioned in the message. So, we both agreed that she most likely sent them to us in hopes that our pregnancy hormones would make us upset or give her more sympathy.
I most likely won't give another update on this post, but if I do, it'll be on my profile instead of on here to keep the sub's feed cleared up.
On a good note, I've moved into my new place officially and put in my notice. My little chicken nugget is in the third trimester, and I developed a bad case of gestational diabetes. My partner wants me to take it easy and has been finding new hobbies to help me pass the time when I'm out of work. He's trying to get me to play Elden Ring.

Hi ShopifyeCommerce - I'm Paul and I follow the e-commerce industry closely for my Shopifreaks E-commerce Newsletter. Each week I post a summary recap of the week's top stories, which I cover in depth in the newsletter. Let's dive in... .

1. STAT OF THE WEEK: PDD Holdings, the parent company of Temu, spent nearly $2 billion on advertisements last year at Meta, according to a report by The Wall Street Journal that cited people familiar with the matter. It was the number one advertiser by revenue on Meta and one of Google's top five advertisers last year as well. .
2. Target's new premium membership program -- Target Circle 360 -- will officially launch on April 7th, costing $99/year, but Target is offering a first year discounted rate of $49 through May 18th. The membership includes unlimited free same-day delivery for orders over $35 in as little as one hour and free two-day shipping with no order minimum. Plus an additional 30 days to return purchases beyond the standard 90-day return policy. Target is also relaunching its free Target Circle loyalty program to become easier to use and more personalized with discounts automatically applied as opposed to the customer having to scan through deals on the app. Lastly Target is rebranding its Target RED Card, which offers 5% off purchases and other perks, as the Target Circle Card — although the card itself will still be rectangular. .
3. Walmart is launching an early morning delivery service to stay ahead of its rivals. The morning delivery service will include two options: One hour or less – priced at $10 per trip. Orders will need to be placed before 6am, and many will be delivered in 30 minutes. Three hours or less – this slightly slower option will only cost $5. Customers who are not members of Walmart+ will also have a base delivery fee added to their orders, which I assume will vary by market and customer location. .
4. Last Thursday, The House Energy and Commerce Committee voted 50-0 to pass a bill that would force ByteDance to divest TikTok into a US-owned company. If passed, ByteDance would be required to sell the app within five months or face removal from U.S. app stores. The bill, called the Protecting Americans from Foreign Adversary Controlled Applications Act, would give the executive branch the power to identify social media apps as national security threats if they are deemed under the control of foreign adversaries, like China, Russia, Iran and North Korea, and prohibit their use domestically. The rationale being that those platforms could use their algorithms and data on Americans to meddle with politics in the U.S. .
5. Last week Apple terminated Epic Games' Sweden AB account, which Epic claims was in retaliation of it speaking out against the company. Epic intended to use that account to bring the Epic Games Store (its own app store) and Fornite to iOS devices in Europe, which it can now do thanks to the new Digital Markets Act. Two days later, Apple reinstated the account after European Union officials looked into the issue and “requested further explanations on this from Apple under the DMA.” .
6. Meta offered more details about how it plans to make its messaging apps interoperable with third-party messaging services, as required by the new Digital Markets Act. Here's what was revealed so far: Interoperability with third-party messaging services was enabled on Mar 7th to comply with the DMA. This will open the door for users from Signal, iMessage, Telegram, and other apps to message users on WhatsApp and Facebook Messenger. Third-party providers will need to sign an agreement with Meta before it will enable interoperability, and engaging with third-party chats will be opt-in for users. .
7. Wayfair plans to roll out a consolidated delivery option for B2C shipments, in which customers can select a date for multiple items to be delivered at the same time. CEO Niraj Shah said, “As you can imagine, delivering things one at a time is less efficient than delivering a lot of things all at once.” Despite seeing an uptick in order volume (11.3M orders fulfilled in Q4, up 2.7% YoY), Wayfair still posted a $174M net loss in Q4 and laid off 1,650 employees in January. The retailer, which spends about 20% of every revenue dollar on some form of logistics (factory to port, ocean container freight, drayage, linehaul, warehousing, last mile delivery, etc.), is now looking for ways to reduce its logistics costs. .
8. Temu, which since launching in Sep 2022 has only catered to Chinese sellers, is expected to open its marketplace to sellers in the US and EU in the coming weeks. Unlike Temu's China-based sellers, new sellers from the West will not ship goods to Temu’s warehouses in China to have them fulfilled. Instead sellers from US and EU will handle fulfillment from their own domestic warehouses. Temu will also not manage pricing or marketing, mimicking the Amazon, eBay, and Walmart marketplaces. .
9. Patreon is rolling out an expansion of its e-commerce tools for creators, soon allowing them to sell one-off digital goods and offer free subscriptions. The company views the new free subscription offering like a newsletter, or a way to reach all of a creator's fans at once, which could help onboard more fans into paid supporters. For e-commerce transactions, Patreon will keep 5% of the sale, plus tax and payment processing fees, which is lower than the 8% cut it takes on subscriptions. .
10. Amazon delayed the launches of new online storefronts in Switzerland, Ireland, Belgium, and potentially other European countries this year, which the company had been planning to launch since 2022. Stores for Nigeria, Chile, and Colombia have also been put on hold. Amazon did not launch any new storefronts in 2023, which is rare for the company which has opened at least once new international market each year since 2016. .
11. Wix officially launched its new AI website builder, which can build a website and create original images using only text prompts. Users only have to answer a few questions, like what you want to call the site, what it's about, and what your goals are for it, and the AI builder creates a draft site for you, which you can then edit using Wix's traditional website builder. I first reported (story #1) on Wix's plans to launch this AI builder in July 2023. .
12. The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau finalized a rule on Tuesday that caps most credit card late fees at $8 as part of a broader push by the Biden administration to eliminate junk fees. The bureau estimates that the new regulation will save families more than $10B a year by cutting fees from an average of $32, but the financial industry says that the new regulation will hurt consumers by causing more people to pay late, which will damage their credit scores. LOL, I'm not sure if that's how that works guys. I'd imagine that a reduced late payment fee will mostly help consumers who are already in a bad spot, as opposed to encouraging more people to pay late. .
13. Etsy came out with a new feature called Gift Teasers that lets shoppers send a digital preview of the gift they purchased on Etsy to the recipient. Now last-minute shoppers can purchase gifts on Etsy that will most likely arrive late for the special occasion, and Etsy will instantly send a digital preview of the gift directly to the recipient or schedule the teaser to be sent when the item ships so that they know something is on the way. I like it! .
14. A wave of social media influencers are earning money by promoting illegal knockoffs imported from China on Facebook, TikTok, Discord, and Reddit. One knockoff brand called Pandabuy claims to have signed up thousands of content creators to its marketing program last year. Daniel Shapiro, VP of strategic partnerships at Red Points, a firm that helps brands detect counterfeits of their products online, said that their platform detected a 26% increase in counterfeiting by Chinese sellers in 2023 YoY — a stat which kind of sounds to me like an ad for their services, but it may also be true. .
15. Flipkart is planning to make an instant-delivery service available in select locations throughout India as early as May this year. The Walmart-owned company has been steadily laying the groundwork to improve its delivery time for quite a while, heavily investing in it supply chain infrastructure with a particular focus on reducing delivery times for grocery items. .
16. Walmart expanded its existing Beauty Virtual Try-On capabilities through its app to include hair color options. The capability spans close to 500 products so far. Walmart also offers virtual try-on capabilities with cosmetics and apparel, and in January, launched an augmented reality try-on for eyewear. .
17. Sam Altman is re-joining the OpenAI board after an independent probe found that his conduct “did not mandate removal.” The special committee of the OpenAI Board announced the completion of the review and expressed its full confidence in Altman and Greg Brockman's ongoing leadership of the company. The board also announced the election of three new Board members which include Dr Sue Desmond-Hellmann (former CEO of the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation), Nicole Seligman (former EVP and General Counsel of Sony), and Fidji Simo (CEO of Instacart and board member at Shopify). .
18. Amazon infringed on British trademark rights by promoting identical branded products from another party to British shoppers on its US website, according to a recent ruling. The case revolves around the use of the words “Beverly Hills Polo Club” or the logo consisting of these words, coupled with an image of a horse and a rider, which are trademarks owned in the UK and EU by a company in the Netherlands, but are owned by a different entity in the US. According to the lawsuit, Amazon targeted customers in the UK and EU with advertisements and offers, thereby infringing on trademark rights. .
19. A coalition of 40 state attorneys general sent a letter to Meta expressing concerns regarding the surge in consumer complaints related to account takeovers and lockouts. The letter read, “Consumers are reporting their utter panic when they first realize they have been effectively locked out of their accounts” and that having their accounts taken away from them can be “traumatizing.” The letter emphasizes the need for Meta to take immediate action to provide assistance to users affected by account takeovers. .
20. Instacart will now be powering the websites for Harps Foods, Price Chopper, and Canseco's Market through its Instacart Storefront service and mobile app. Meanwhile DoorDash linked up with Rouses Markets to provide on-demand delivery for the Gulf Coast grocery chain. The new partnerships are part of the companies' latest endeavours to expand their partner bases with smaller retailers. .
21. Whole Foods is opening its first small-format location in New York City this year called Whole Foods Market Daily Shop. The grocery store will be much smaller at up to 14k sq.ft. than the standard Whole Foods stores which average 40k sq.ft. and feature a limited selection of on-the-go options. .
22. Alibaba announced plans to introduce new AI tools to assist merchants on its Taobao and Tmall platforms. The tools are expected to improve the state of advertising on the platforms, allowing merchants to create image and video campaigns via text input. .
23. Oura, the wearable health technology company, is now selling its Ring Horizon, Ring Heritage, and Ring Sizing Kit on Amazon, following its launch on Best Buy a year earlier. Customers that buy the sizing kit will receive a $10 Amazon credit that can be used toward the purchase of an Oura Ring. .
24. Meta's new AI model, designed to enhance video and user Feed recommendations, could eventually benefit advertisers by directing viewers to more relevant results, according to some experts. Meta has traditionally used separate AI models for content recommendations across various services such as Reels, Groups, and Feed, but now the company is working on a project to power their entire video ecosystem with a single model, which could then be used to recommend products as well. .
25. Bold Commerce launched its Build with Bold Partner Program to extend the company's technology to new SaaS solutions and agency partners. The program aims to make composable checkout more accessible to agencies through new training, support, and documentation. .
26. ShopeeFood, one of Vietnam's most popular food delivery apps, has been miscalculating the distance of deliveries by up to 2.1km, as a result of the app ignoring one-way streets and roads with median barriers, according to delivery workers. The platform has a mechanism to compensate for these types of miscalculations, but workers say the process is tedious and don't opt for it in many cases. .
27. X unveiled a new feature called “Articles” that allows users to share long-form content on the platform including images, videos, GIFs, posts, and links. Users can format their articles with various HTML options like headings, subheadings, bold, italics, strikethrough, indentation, lists and more. The feature is exclusive available to X Premium+ users. Elon Musk also announced that like, retweet, and favorite counts would be disappearing from the main feed in a future design change, which he says is to make the feed cleaner. .
28. TikTok Shop expanded its partnership with Shopify in the UK, now allowing Shopify merchants to connect their online store to its shopping platform using a new app, create TikTok ad campaigns, synchronize their product catalogue, and sell products through in-feed videos and LIVE broadcasts. The UK expansion follows the launch of the TikTok for Shopify App in the US last year, and will be available to merchants in the UK from March 6. .
29. Last year TikTok introduced longer videos to its platform via an invite-only Creativity Program, which required videos longer than a minute to qualify for monetization. Now TikTok announced that the program will be called Creator Rewards moving forward, and will calculate payouts based on an “optimized rewards formula” focusing on originality, play duration, search value, and audience engagement. The new fund for one minute long videos promises to rectify previous creator complaints of low payouts from the original creator fund, which often just paid a few dollars for several million views. .
30. Google introduced a new Shopping Ad format that enables competing Comparison Shopping Services to drive traffic to their own website, instead of directly to merchants. Now a comparison shopping service can run campaigns for its product pages, just like merchants do for their product pages, and enter the same ad auction as merchants, competing for a position in the same product ad box. .
31. Klaviyo released a set of professional services packages to help enterprise-level customers leverage the e-mail and SMS marketing tools on their platform, with prices beginning at $30k/month. Many Klaviyo partners criticized the company for competing against their own agency partners, while others said that the services wouldn't impact most of their partners. Klaviyo wrote in the announcement, “While Klaviyo is partner first, and we always recommend our customers leverage a trusted services provider, in the rare instance where that isn't possible, these SKUs may be recommended.” .
32. Insider Intelligence rebranded back to eMarketer and launched a new series of product features called PRO+. Four years ago when eMarketer and Business Insider Intelligence merged, they started using the name Insider Intelligence, but are now returning back to their original name. However they are still part of the Business Insider Intelligence company. .
33. Two-thirds of surveyed consumers said that they don't mind retailers using AI to automate repetitive tasks, but that they don't want it to replace human interaction. Most agreed that retail experiences will always require a blend of AI and human interactions. Shoppers want to know if a company is using AI, and not have the AI take them out of an already comfortable journey. .
34. Plus 10 seed rounds, IPOs, and acquisitions of interest including Beyond, Inc's acquisition of Zulily's intellectual property and brand assets for $4.5M. .
    I hope you found this recap helpful. See you next week!
    

For more details on each story and sources, see the full edition: https://www.shopifreaks.com/target-circle-360-morning-delivery-us-vs-tiktok/
What else is new in e-commerce? Share stories of interesting in the comments below (including in your own business) or on shopifreaks.
-PAUL Editor of Shopifreaks E-commerce Newsletter

Hi ecommerce - I'm Paul and I follow the e-commerce industry pretty closely for my Shopifreaks E-commerce Newsletter. Each week I post a summary recap of the week's top stories, which I cover in depth with sources in the full edition. Let's dive in... .

1. STAT OF THE WEEK: PDD Holdings, the parent company of Temu, spent nearly $2 billion on advertisements last year at Meta, according to a report by The Wall Street Journal that cited people familiar with the matter. It was the number one advertiser by revenue on Meta and one of Google's top five advertisers last year as well. .
2. Target's new premium membership program -- Target Circle 360 -- will officially launch on April 7th, costing $99/year, but Target is offering a first year discounted rate of $49 through May 18th. The membership includes unlimited free same-day delivery for orders over $35 in as little as one hour and free two-day shipping with no order minimum. Plus an additional 30 days to return purchases beyond the standard 90-day return policy. Target is also relaunching its free Target Circle loyalty program to become easier to use and more personalized with discounts automatically applied as opposed to the customer having to scan through deals on the app. Lastly Target is rebranding its Target RED Card, which offers 5% off purchases and other perks, as the Target Circle Card — although the card itself will still be rectangular. .
3. Walmart is launching an early morning delivery service to stay ahead of its rivals. The morning delivery service will include two options: One hour or less – priced at $10 per trip. Orders will need to be placed before 6am, and many will be delivered in 30 minutes. Three hours or less – this slightly slower option will only cost $5. Customers who are not members of Walmart+ will also have a base delivery fee added to their orders, which I assume will vary by market and customer location. .
4. Last Thursday, The House Energy and Commerce Committee voted 50-0 to pass a bill that would force ByteDance to divest TikTok into a US-owned company. If passed, ByteDance would be required to sell the app within five months or face removal from U.S. app stores. The bill, called the Protecting Americans from Foreign Adversary Controlled Applications Act, would give the executive branch the power to identify social media apps as national security threats if they are deemed under the control of foreign adversaries, like China, Russia, Iran and North Korea, and prohibit their use domestically. The rationale being that those platforms could use their algorithms and data on Americans to meddle with politics in the U.S. .
5. Last week Apple terminated Epic Games' Sweden AB account, which Epic claims was in retaliation of it speaking out against the company. Epic intended to use that account to bring the Epic Games Store (its own app store) and Fornite to iOS devices in Europe, which it can now do thanks to the new Digital Markets Act. Two days later, Apple reinstated the account after European Union officials looked into the issue and “requested further explanations on this from Apple under the DMA.” .
6. Meta offered more details about how it plans to make its messaging apps interoperable with third-party messaging services, as required by the new Digital Markets Act. Here's what was revealed so far: Interoperability with third-party messaging services was enabled on Mar 7th to comply with the DMA. This will open the door for users from Signal, iMessage, Telegram, and other apps to message users on WhatsApp and Facebook Messenger. Third-party providers will need to sign an agreement with Meta before it will enable interoperability, and engaging with third-party chats will be opt-in for users. .
7. Wayfair plans to roll out a consolidated delivery option for B2C shipments, in which customers can select a date for multiple items to be delivered at the same time. CEO Niraj Shah said, “As you can imagine, delivering things one at a time is less efficient than delivering a lot of things all at once.” Despite seeing an uptick in order volume (11.3M orders fulfilled in Q4, up 2.7% YoY), Wayfair still posted a $174M net loss in Q4 and laid off 1,650 employees in January. The retailer, which spends about 20% of every revenue dollar on some form of logistics (factory to port, ocean container freight, drayage, linehaul, warehousing, last mile delivery, etc.), is now looking for ways to reduce its logistics costs. .
8. Temu, which since launching in Sep 2022 has only catered to Chinese sellers, is expected to open its marketplace to sellers in the US and EU in the coming weeks. Unlike Temu's China-based sellers, new sellers from the West will not ship goods to Temu’s warehouses in China to have them fulfilled. Instead sellers from US and EU will handle fulfillment from their own domestic warehouses. Temu will also not manage pricing or marketing, mimicking the Amazon, eBay, and Walmart marketplaces. .
9. Patreon is rolling out an expansion of its e-commerce tools for creators, soon allowing them to sell one-off digital goods and offer free subscriptions. The company views the new free subscription offering like a newsletter, or a way to reach all of a creator's fans at once, which could help onboard more fans into paid supporters. For e-commerce transactions, Patreon will keep 5% of the sale, plus tax and payment processing fees, which is lower than the 8% cut it takes on subscriptions. .
10. Amazon delayed the launches of new online storefronts in Switzerland, Ireland, Belgium, and potentially other European countries this year, which the company had been planning to launch since 2022. Stores for Nigeria, Chile, and Colombia have also been put on hold. Amazon did not launch any new storefronts in 2023, which is rare for the company which has opened at least once new international market each year since 2016. .
11. Wix officially launched its new AI website builder, which can build a website and create original images using only text prompts. Users only have to answer a few questions, like what you want to call the site, what it's about, and what your goals are for it, and the AI builder creates a draft site for you, which you can then edit using Wix's traditional website builder. I first reported (story #1) on Wix's plans to launch this AI builder in July 2023. .
12. The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau finalized a rule on Tuesday that caps most credit card late fees at $8 as part of a broader push by the Biden administration to eliminate junk fees. The bureau estimates that the new regulation will save families more than $10B a year by cutting fees from an average of $32, but the financial industry says that the new regulation will hurt consumers by causing more people to pay late, which will damage their credit scores. LOL, I'm not sure if that's how that works guys. I'd imagine that a reduced late payment fee will mostly help consumers who are already in a bad spot, as opposed to encouraging more people to pay late. .
13. Etsy came out with a new feature called Gift Teasers that lets shoppers send a digital preview of the gift they purchased on Etsy to the recipient. Now last-minute shoppers can purchase gifts on Etsy that will most likely arrive late for the special occasion, and Etsy will instantly send a digital preview of the gift directly to the recipient or schedule the teaser to be sent when the item ships so that they know something is on the way. I like it! .
14. A wave of social media influencers are earning money by promoting illegal knockoffs imported from China on Facebook, TikTok, Discord, and Reddit. One knockoff brand called Pandabuy claims to have signed up thousands of content creators to its marketing program last year. Daniel Shapiro, VP of strategic partnerships at Red Points, a firm that helps brands detect counterfeits of their products online, said that their platform detected a 26% increase in counterfeiting by Chinese sellers in 2023 YoY — a stat which kind of sounds to me like an ad for their services, but it may also be true. .
15. Flipkart is planning to make an instant-delivery service available in select locations throughout India as early as May this year. The Walmart-owned company has been steadily laying the groundwork to improve its delivery time for quite a while, heavily investing in it supply chain infrastructure with a particular focus on reducing delivery times for grocery items. .
16. Walmart expanded its existing Beauty Virtual Try-On capabilities through its app to include hair color options. The capability spans close to 500 products so far. Walmart also offers virtual try-on capabilities with cosmetics and apparel, and in January, launched an augmented reality try-on for eyewear. .
17. Sam Altman is re-joining the OpenAI board after an independent probe found that his conduct “did not mandate removal.” The special committee of the OpenAI Board announced the completion of the review and expressed its full confidence in Altman and Greg Brockman's ongoing leadership of the company. The board also announced the election of three new Board members which include Dr Sue Desmond-Hellmann (former CEO of the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation), Nicole Seligman (former EVP and General Counsel of Sony), and Fidji Simo (CEO of Instacart and board member at Shopify). .
18. Amazon infringed on British trademark rights by promoting identical branded products from another party to British shoppers on its US website, according to a recent ruling. The case revolves around the use of the words “Beverly Hills Polo Club” or the logo consisting of these words, coupled with an image of a horse and a rider, which are trademarks owned in the UK and EU by a company in the Netherlands, but are owned by a different entity in the US. According to the lawsuit, Amazon targeted customers in the UK and EU with advertisements and offers, thereby infringing on trademark rights. .
19. A coalition of 40 state attorneys general sent a letter to Meta expressing concerns regarding the surge in consumer complaints related to account takeovers and lockouts. The letter read, “Consumers are reporting their utter panic when they first realize they have been effectively locked out of their accounts” and that having their accounts taken away from them can be “traumatizing.” The letter emphasizes the need for Meta to take immediate action to provide assistance to users affected by account takeovers. .
20. Instacart will now be powering the websites for Harps Foods, Price Chopper, and Canseco's Market through its Instacart Storefront service and mobile app. Meanwhile DoorDash linked up with Rouses Markets to provide on-demand delivery for the Gulf Coast grocery chain. The new partnerships are part of the companies' latest endeavours to expand their partner bases with smaller retailers. .
21. Whole Foods is opening its first small-format location in New York City this year called Whole Foods Market Daily Shop. The grocery store will be much smaller at up to 14k sq.ft. than the standard Whole Foods stores which average 40k sq.ft. and feature a limited selection of on-the-go options. .
22. Alibaba announced plans to introduce new AI tools to assist merchants on its Taobao and Tmall platforms. The tools are expected to improve the state of advertising on the platforms, allowing merchants to create image and video campaigns via text input. .
23. Oura, the wearable health technology company, is now selling its Ring Horizon, Ring Heritage, and Ring Sizing Kit on Amazon, following its launch on Best Buy a year earlier. Customers that buy the sizing kit will receive a $10 Amazon credit that can be used toward the purchase of an Oura Ring. .
24. Meta's new AI model, designed to enhance video and user Feed recommendations, could eventually benefit advertisers by directing viewers to more relevant results, according to some experts. Meta has traditionally used separate AI models for content recommendations across various services such as Reels, Groups, and Feed, but now the company is working on a project to power their entire video ecosystem with a single model, which could then be used to recommend products as well. .
25. Bold Commerce launched its Build with Bold Partner Program to extend the company's technology to new SaaS solutions and agency partners. The program aims to make composable checkout more accessible to agencies through new training, support, and documentation. .
26. ShopeeFood, one of Vietnam's most popular food delivery apps, has been miscalculating the distance of deliveries by up to 2.1km, as a result of the app ignoring one-way streets and roads with median barriers, according to delivery workers. The platform has a mechanism to compensate for these types of miscalculations, but workers say the process is tedious and don't opt for it in many cases. .
27. X unveiled a new feature called “Articles” that allows users to share long-form content on the platform including images, videos, GIFs, posts, and links. Users can format their articles with various HTML options like headings, subheadings, bold, italics, strikethrough, indentation, lists and more. The feature is exclusive available to X Premium+ users. Elon Musk also announced that like, retweet, and favorite counts would be disappearing from the main feed in a future design change, which he says is to make the feed cleaner. .
28. TikTok Shop expanded its partnership with Shopify in the UK, now allowing Shopify merchants to connect their online store to its shopping platform using a new app, create TikTok ad campaigns, synchronize their product catalogue, and sell products through in-feed videos and LIVE broadcasts. The UK expansion follows the launch of the TikTok for Shopify App in the US last year, and will be available to merchants in the UK from March 6. .
29. Last year TikTok introduced longer videos to its platform via an invite-only Creativity Program, which required videos longer than a minute to qualify for monetization. Now TikTok announced that the program will be called Creator Rewards moving forward, and will calculate payouts based on an “optimized rewards formula” focusing on originality, play duration, search value, and audience engagement. The new fund for one minute long videos promises to rectify previous creator complaints of low payouts from the original creator fund, which often just paid a few dollars for several million views. .
30. Google introduced a new Shopping Ad format that enables competing Comparison Shopping Services to drive traffic to their own website, instead of directly to merchants. Now a comparison shopping service can run campaigns for its product pages, just like merchants do for their product pages, and enter the same ad auction as merchants, competing for a position in the same product ad box. .
31. Klaviyo released a set of professional services packages to help enterprise-level customers leverage the e-mail and SMS marketing tools on their platform, with prices beginning at $30k/month. Many Klaviyo partners criticized the company for competing against their own agency partners, while others said that the services wouldn't impact most of their partners. Klaviyo wrote in the announcement, “While Klaviyo is partner first, and we always recommend our customers leverage a trusted services provider, in the rare instance where that isn't possible, these SKUs may be recommended.” .
32. Insider Intelligence rebranded back to eMarketer and launched a new series of product features called PRO+. Four years ago when eMarketer and Business Insider Intelligence merged, they started using the name Insider Intelligence, but are now returning back to their original name. However they are still part of the Business Insider Intelligence company. .
33. Two-thirds of surveyed consumers said that they don't mind retailers using AI to automate repetitive tasks, but that they don't want it to replace human interaction. Most agreed that retail experiences will always require a blend of AI and human interactions. Shoppers want to know if a company is using AI, and not have the AI take them out of an already comfortable journey. .
34. Plus 10 seed rounds, IPOs, and acquisitions of interest including Beyond, Inc's acquisition of Zulily's intellectual property and brand assets for $4.5M. .

I hope you found this recap helpful. See you next week!
PAUL
Editor of Shopifreaks E-Commerce Newsletter
PS: If I missed any big news this week, please share in the comments.

Just after 8 pm on the night of Wednesday, June 4th, 2014, the torso of a man was discovered behind a jersey barrier of the parking lot in the dune area of Town Neck Beach in Sandwich, Massachusetts by two men walking a dog. The man's dismembered torso was stuffed in a duffel bag that was wrapped in a plastic tarp and fastened with duct tape to a “Cart-All” two wheel dolly, with a blue plastic base that was able to be folded in along with the wheels ( a photo of the dolly can be found in the links below). His head and 4 limbs, which had all been removed, have never been located. The way in which the man's torso was mutilated (with the limbs and head being removed), is indicative of methods used to hinder the identification of murder victims using traditional identification methods. Investigators theorize that the man's limbs may have been removed because he had identifying tattoos. His DNA was run through national databases, with no matches being found.
Investigators believe that there was only one perpetrator involved in the murder, rather than multiple killers. Their train of thinking is that multiple people could easily carry a full body, but a torso attached to a dolly would be easier for only one person to move and dispose of. They also believe that the victim is known to his killer, due to the efforts made to hinder identification. Whether the victim’s body was dismembered for these reasons or for other unseen reasons is yet to be uncovered.
The torso belonged to the body of a black man, whose approximate height was between 5'8”ft and 6'0"ft. His weight was between 220lbs and 230lbs. His body type was described as “in good health, but not overly muscular”. He also had a 3 to 4 inch surgery scar on the right side of his abdomen, which hinted at the possibility that he could've had a hernia surgery in the past. The man's age could not be estimated, but investigators could ascertain that he was at the very least “between the stages of adolescence and late adulthood”. His post-mortem interval was believed to have been within 24 to 48 hours of the discovery of the torso at the dunes of the beach.
Found on the torso was a dark blue t-shirt, with “I Got Serviced” in italic font on the front and bearing the logo of “Cranston Windustrial Company”, a Cranston, Rhode Island pipe distribution business, and other vendors on the back (a photo of the t-shirt can be found in the links below). The other clothing found with the remains consisted of black “Echo” brand sweatpants, a white “Gazy” brand t-shirt size 4XL, a white “Fruit of the Loom” brand t-shirt size 3XL and striped “Hanes” brand boxer shorts.
According to employees of “Windustrial”, thousands of the shirts were handed out every year to employees and customers alike, with the quantity at which they were handed out hindering identification of the decedent.
Virginia DNA technology company Parabon Nanolabs was contracted to create a composite of the man's likeness from his DNA. He is predicted to be of mainly African admixture (mainly West African, with the rest of his ancestry being made up of South African and Northeast European DNA. He is also predicted to have had black hair and brown or hazel eyes. A photo of his composite and phenotype report can be found in the links below.
9 years forward, this is where the case stands today. Thank you so much for giving the Barnstable John Doe (2014) a moment of your day.
Sources:
NAMUS
Unidentified Awareness Wiki)
WCVB
Reddit Write-Up
"WeWontForgetThem" Facebook Group
The Enterprise
Huffington Post
FBI
Phenotype Report

TLDR: If you're serious about getting selected for OTS, read this whole thing. Valuable insight into the OTS selection board process from a Colonel who sat a recent selection board.
First, this info was gathered from a post on a private Facebook group. An effort was made to anonymize/safeguard the author. No, I won't share more info; if the privacy of board members won't be respected, then they won't be willing to share this kind of insight. Second, the express purpose of the author for putting this all together was to help leaders who had Airmen interested in commissioning. As a result, there is a heavy prior service skew to some of the wording. Third, the details below were copy/pasted from a briefing. A briefing without the briefer is incomplete at best. I do not have any briefing notes, or commentary. Fourth, below a line I'll highlight below, no changes were made to the original text , except for multiple XXXXXX to indicate information scrubbed for privacy reasons. I will do my best to add italics, bold, emphasis, etc, as best as able, but this format has some limitations. No, I will not post the slides (see point 1). Bold will likely indicate a slide title.
Lastly--this kind of stuff doesn't come out often. As someone who applied to OTS many moons ago, I remember vividly how much I craved information about this mysterious process. Please respect the author, and be grateful we have this valuable insight.
​
---------------------------------BEGIN BRIEFING------------------------------------------------
Disclaimer
“The views expressed in this presentation are those of the briefer and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the Air Force, the Department of Defense, or the U.S. Government.”
This brief contains my observations and recommendations
Different Board Members = Different Perspectives
Information and Procedures Change
AFRS is THE Authority on OTS Package Requirements!
Overview
• My Motivation
• Scene SetteContext
• How Board was Organized
• Package Overview
• Package Scoring
• Key areas to focus
• Personal Statements
• Awards
• Derogatory Info
• Results of 23OTS03
• Expectation Management
​
My Motivation:
I once sat where you are sitting...
Enlisted Career
AFSC: XXXXX
3 Duty stations XXXXXXX
1997: Promoted to SSgt
2000: Applied/Selected for OTS
2001: Commissioned
​
Officer Career
AFSC: XXXXXXX
13 duty stations / Too many deployments
Sq/DO: XXXXXXX
Sq/CC: XXXXXXXX
Current: XXXXXXXXXX
​
Scene Setter for 23OTS03
23OTS03 Non-Rated Board 5-9 Jun 2023
• 792 OTS Applicants
• 685 Enlisted (86%)
• 105 Civilian (14%)
​
• The Board
• 9 Colonel / Colonel Selects from across the Air Force
• Different AFSCs: Finance, Non-Pilot Flyers, Intel, OSI, Engineers, Security, Acquisition, etc. (Note: I was the only XXXXXX)
• AFRS did a solid job on GendeRace representation
• Given a charge and sworn oath for protection/non-disclosure
• Divided into teams of three and assigned a block of applicants
• One team did all civilian packages first
• All packages were reviewed/scored on a computer
​
The OTS Package
Each Package 13-15 Pages
• Personal Statements
• AF Form 56
• Work History
• Education/Degrees/Awards
• Job Choices
• Law Violations/Derogatory Info
• Interview Form
• AFOQT Scores
• EPRs
• Letter of Recommendation
​
Observations / Recommendations
• The AF Form 56 is the first discriminator in weeding out those willing to put the work into becoming an officer and those who do not.
• Follow Instructions - If the application requires certain information or added documentation, make sure you provide it.
• Do Your Research – OTS guidance, NMS, NDS, AF Strategy
• Help the Board do the right thing (Selecting You!)
• Be consistent with format/information used across package.
• Don’t make the board have to hunt for info or question.
• Write so it is clear to someone not in the Air Force (or your AFSC).
• Limit acronyms and drop words only others in your AFSC know.
• Seriously, ask a non-military to critique and rewrite if needed.
​
Pop Quiz!
• Q: If Tom has 257 OTS packages, each with 14 pages, and given only 4.5 days to score them, how much time can he spend on each package if he works 10-hours a day?
• A: ~5-7 minutes
​
Package Scoring
Board members scored each package independently in three areas; members did not know how others scored. **
• Education/Aptitude (2-3 Points in .1 increments)
• AFOQT/Academics (degrees, GPA, accolades, etc)
• Experience (2-4 Points in .1 increments)
• EPRs, Awards, span-of-control, demonstrated leadership
• Potential/Adaptability (2-3 Points in .1 increments)
• Adaptability, communication skills, derogatory information
• Lowest/Highest possible score: 6 /10
** Scoring Integrity and “Splits”: A record with two
individual scores that are different by more than 1.5 points
require a re-score. 7.1 and 8.6 would require a re-score.
​
Education / Aptitude (2.0 – 3.0 Points)
Observations / Recommendations
• Degrees
• “Where/How” was not as important as “What” was studied, GPA, and academic awards; bonus points if it applied to current job or aligned to a requested officer AFSC.
• Its understood most enlisted complete school online but high- profile universities (Harvard, Stanford, MIT, etc) still stood out.
• A strong AFOQT carried more weight than a GPA
• Not all schools grade the same.
• Some academic degrees are harder than others.
• There are more 4.0 GPAs than AFOQT scores above 75.
• The GPA / AFOQT Inversion Anomaly
• Consistent high GPA / low AFOQT (or visa versa).
If possible, address less than optimum scores: “I was young, didn’t study, learned lesson, A+ since”; take ownership/show recovery!
​
Experience / Leadership (2.0 – 4.0 Points)
Observations / Recommendations
• Derived mostly from EPAwards/Dec/SURF
• Leadership potential
• Job performance
• Scope of responsibilities / supervision
• Honors and recognition
• Community services
• Athletics, skills, hobbies
• Observations on Rank and Scores:
• E-6 & Above: Clear advantage with experience but also records that could potentially show inconsistent performance.
• Airmen/NCOs lacked experience/records but often had BMTS Honor Grad, Tech School DG, ALS Levitow/DG, etc; also, more foreign languages.
​
Potential /Adaptability (2.0 –3.0)Points
Observations / Recommendations
• A quantitative score based on qualitative assessments.
• Personal Statement / Communication Skills
• Evaluation of Interviewing Officer
• Letter of Recommendation
• Personal Experiences
• Law Violations / Involvement with law
• The most ‘squishy’ for scoring packages.
• Best opportunity to gain (or lose) “style points”.
​
Personal Statements
• The only “voice” you have.
• It’s the first thing we read...
...and we read a lot of them.
• Creative use of a leadership quote
that everyone else used in their
package is not creative.
• It is not Facebook/TikTok.
• Make it PERFECT: Grammar, spelling,
readability, etc.
Tell Your Story
• Board wants to know you...not how
much you know.
• Make it count!
Remember
• 5-7 Minutes per package.
• Be complete...but more is not better.
• Consider your audience...
...and don’t imply they’re stupid.
​
Observation/Strategies
• Awards: If you list an award by name but no one outside
your AFSC/unit knows what it is, then is it really an award?
• Unless it is common (Sijan, Levitow, 12 OAY), stick to scope/level & year - if possible, use extra space for strat: Gp MX NCOY ’21 (#1/37).
• If you were the winner at the wing, do you really need to
state you were winner for the same award at the group and
squadron?
​
Derogatory Information
• Derogatory information will not automatically kill a package
but not addressing it will.
• Call it out early in your package (opening statement!?), clearly demonstrate ownership/recovery and positive performance since.
• Ensure it is documented in the appropriate area (Line 15).
• Provide the interviewing official draft words that also speak to the information, recovery/positive performance.
• Request it be further stomped to death with the highest endorsement possible in the letter of recommendation.
​
Results for 23OTS03
• 116 / 792 OTS Applicants: 15%
• 99 / 685 Enlisted
• 17 / 105 Civilians
Averages
GPA Pilot CSO ABM AA Q V
3.7 58 73 63 63 57 67
• Board members only score packages
• No insight on number of number OTS slots available until PSDM.
• Will not know the highest non-select / lowest-select score.
​
Expectation Management
• Selection for OTS is more about what is going on in the world than it is your capability to lead or value as a person.
• In 1996...
• The job market was uncertain, so few AF officers left service.
• Less than 1% of the enlisted corps held a master’s degree.
• A TSgt, with a 4.0 GPA master’s degree couldn’t get selected.
• The enlisted selection rate for OTS was ~9%.
• In 2000...
• The job market was hot and AF officers left in droves.
• ~5% of enlisted corps held bachelor’s degrees.
• A TSgt-Select, with a 3.7 GPA bachelor’s degree was selected.
• The enlisted selection rate for OTS was ~75%.
​
Expectation Management
Not everyone, even those who would make great officers, will
be selected for OTS.
• Should you submit a package?
• Observation: Carpe Diem!
• But honestly, only you can (and should) answer that question – and there is no wrong answer.
• Should you try again if not selected?
• Could you have done better?
• Re-take AFOQT
• Classes to Boost GPA
• Write a better package
• Seek a job that might get you there
• Other options: ROTC, Guard/Reserves...to officer.
• Make Chief!
​
Closing Thoughts
• OTS selection is based on the score of the best packages
• Some things are hard to change/improve, but a solid package can influence how the board views them.
• Start early, iterate often, ask for help and critiques – make it count!

Notes: This script is okay for monetization. Can be used on Patreon, just let me know if you do. If you use it, please give credit. You can change pronouns if preferred but otherwise please don't edit the script. My scripts are meant for adult audiences and all characters are 18+. For clarification on the format of the script, any place that says (Pause) is a place for the Listener's response. Anything in \asterisks and italics** isn't meant to be read aloud, it's there to either hint at the tone or provide context that might help the script make more sense.
​
Summary: As their cousin's wedding draws closer, Narrator is tired of being hounded by their family to find a significant other. In a fit of brilliancy, stupidity or both they realize that they have a perfect solution - pretend to date their best friend.
​
Word Count: Approximately 1,192 words (Not including any actions or cues left in asterisks and italics)
​
Writer’s Notes: I'm a few minutes late, but I swear I'm keeping up with my challenge! That being said, enjoy this short, cute little scripts with one of my favorite tropes - fake dating!
​
Script Below:
​
\It’s a calm, laid back afternoon, and Narrator and Listener are hanging out at Listener’s apartment. The TV is on in the background, mainly for the white noise, and they’re scrolling through their phones. After a few moments, Narrator groans, grabbing Listener’s attention.**
\Annoyed** “Oh my god. How many times do I have to see pictures of my cousin and her new fiance before my brain explodes?”
(Pause)
“Seriously, they’re everywhere! Every single app I open, there’s a new picture of them being all cute and in love.”
(Pause)
“I’m not exaggerating though, that’s the problem! They’re everywhere! Facebook? There’s a picture of them on a date. Instagram? A picture of her dream wedding dress. Twitter? A post about how happy they are to have found each other. I could open like, Candy Crush or something, and they’d probably be there too.”
(Pause)
“No, I don’t mean it like that. She seems happy, and I’m happy for her, it’s everyone else in our family that is getting on my nerves. They keep sending me links to her posts and pointing out that-”
\Mocking/exaggerated** “‘Oh, your cousin is so happy with her relationship, they’re so cute together! They’re wedding is going to be beautiful! Why don’t you have someone in your life like that? You need to go out more and meet someone!’”
\Narrator groans.**
“It’s so annoying! And it’s been going on for months now! Months!”
\Narrator sighs exaggeratedly.**
“I swear, I’m on the brink of madness. Complete and utter madness, you hear me?”
(Pause)
\Amused, joking** “Hey, quit laughing at me! I’m being serious! I’m gonna be driven to despair from my family’s demands to find a suitable partner! My life is turning into a historical drama, and I don’t even get the fancy clothes or anything!”
\Narrator laughs.**
“Alright, fine. Maybe that was a little overdramatic, but only a little. Really though, it’s been almost nonstop. Look at all of these texts I’ve gotten!”
\Narrator opens their phone, showing Listener the amount of texts they’ve received.**
“Exactly! I literally get at least three people a day texting me about it. And don’t even get me started on the way they tag me in all of my cousin’s posts. She actually called me about it and asked why everyone in our family keeps doing it. She just laughed at me and said ‘good luck.’”
(Pause)
“Yeah, I know. Apparently before me, she was the one getting annoyed by our family about ‘finding someone.’ She said it was especially bad because her older brother had gotten married right after her boyfriend broke up with her.”
(Pause)
“I know, right? I’d feel bad for her, but she’s the one getting married and I’m the one who has to deal with my grandma asking about ‘the cutie in the picture I just posted on the Instabook.’”
(Pause)
“Yeah, she means Instagram, but every time we try to tell her that, she just forgets. So ‘Instabook’ it is.”
(Pause)
“Huh? Oh, it was actually a picture of you and me. You remember when we went to the fair downtown and were messing around with those bubble machines? I posted the pictures to Instagram, and now apparently my grandma thinks we're dating. Also my grandpa, but that’s mainly because he doesn’t have any social media, so he’s just taking my grandma’s word for it.”
\Narrator laughs for a moment before having a sudden realization and suddenly sitting up.**
\Excited** “Hold on! That would be perfect!”
(Pause)
“No, I mean if you and I were dating!”
(Pause)
“Wait, listen, you gotta hear me out! C;mon! This is a great idea!”
(Pause)
“Think about it - I need my family to get off my back about dating someone, and some of them already think we’re dating. So if I were to just be like, ‘hey, surprise, I actually am dating them!’ then they’d finally leave me alone! It’s perfect!”
(Pause)
\Playful, joking** “What do you mean ‘what’s in it for you?’ Helping out your best friend in the entire world, that’s what! My gratitude should be enough of a reward.”
(Pause)
“Ugh, fine. I guess… If I say we’re dating, then I can bring you to my cousin’s wedding and you can have some of the cake. How’s that sound?”
(Pause)
“What if I tell you that there’s also gonna be a buffet?”
(Pause)
“Ha! I knew that would get you! Let’s shake on it.”
\Narrator and Listener shake hands.**
“It’s a done deal then. Now, how should I tell them…”
*Pause)
“Yeah? You think that will work? Just a picture of us together?”
(Pause)
“True, that would probably be the quickest way to do it. Not to mention that it would be some kind of poetic justice or whatever.”
(Pause)
“Alright, then what kind of picture were you thinking? Like, what’s gonna make us look like a real couple? Because I don’t think a picture of us just hanging out and watching TV while we’re on our phones is the best way to do it.”
(Pause)
“Yeah? Just on the cheek, right? And I’ll just take a selfie of us?”
(Pause)
“Okay, then come over here, get closer to me. We both need to be in the picture if we want this to work.”
\Narrator laughs as they sit closer together.**
“Alright, now lean your face closer so I can kiss your cheek.”
(Pause)
“Hey, quit laughing! If we want to make this look convincing, then we have to look like we’re in love.”
(Pause)
“Whatever, just smile and let me kiss you.”
\Narrator kisses Listener’s cheek and takes a selfie of both of them.**
“Ha, got it! Oh wait, I wasn’t holding the camera right. Let me try again.”
\Narrator tries again, kissing Listener and taking a selfie.**
“There- Wait, no, that one’s kinda blurry. Let’s try that one more time.”
\Narrator tries one more time, kissing Listener and taking a selfie.**
“Perfect! That one looks fantastic!”
\Narrator laughs happily.**
“Aww, look at us! We look so cute together!”
(Pause)
“We really do, don’t we? Like, this picture looks so real! Hell, I’m convinced that we’re together! You look so happy and your smile is so cute, it’s impossible to think that we’re not together after seeing this!”
(Pause)
\Playful/joking** “Why, thank you! I think that I look rather adorable as well.”
(Pause)
“Okay, now let me just post this real quick… Aaand done! Posted!”
\Narrator laughs.**
“Oh my god, this is going to be amazing. I can’t wait to see what everyone says! Better yet, I can’t wait to see everyone have to eat their words! They all keep talking about how I need to find my ‘perfect other half,’ but the joke’s on them - I’ve already got you right here next to me.”
(Pause)
“Well yeah, of course I do. You’ve always been my perfect match.”
\Realizing what they’ve said, Narrator clears their throat in attempt to clear up their suddenly flustered thoughts.**
\Flustered** “I mean, we’ve practically been friends forever, obviously we’re each other’s other half. We’re like a dynamic duo or something - we complete each other! I mean, you know, not like that, but it’s like- You know what I mean.”
\Narrator laughs, embarrassed. But before Listener has a chance to say anything, Narrator notices their phone.**
\Surprised** “Wait a second. Holy shit, look at this. I just posted the picture a minute ago! Look at how many comments it has already!”
(Pause)
“I know, that’s crazy! Oh fuck. And now everyone is texting me. And grandma left me a voicemail.”
\Narrator sighs.**
\A bit amused, joking** “I feel like I may not have thought about the downsides of this plan before going through with it. I’m about to be completely and utterly drowned in calls and texts from my entire family. But hey, at least I have the best fake-partner ever to get through it with.”
\Narrator laughs.**
“Oh hey, my cousin just texted! She says ‘congratulations, and welcome to the family.’”
(Pause)
“I know, that’s super sweet of her. Oh hey, she also says that if one of us catches the bouquet, she’ll give us both two pieces of cake.”
\Narrator laughs.**
“I mean, I’m game if your game.”
(Pause)
“Perfect! Then here’s to us and our successful partnership! May it bring us much cake in the future.”
\Narrator laughs and the audio ends.**

A baby screenwriter buddy texted asking my recommendations for using AI to write scripts. He insisted he just wanted help speeding up the unpleasant bits, since he’s a lawyer and doesn’t have a lot of free time.
I wrote a brief thread about my response on the Trashfire-Formerly-Known-as-Twitter and it seemed to resonate, so I thought I’d get on here and explore my thoughts a bit more thoroughly (a.k.a. expose myself to the Troll Army that seems to eviscerate me every time I say anything on Screenwriting Reddit, ever).
This is what I would’ve told my Baby Screenwriter Pal if I hadn’t been dodging childcare to text him back, and if I didn’t have a rabid hatred of writing long-form prose using only my thumbs. I’ll put my tweets [exes/ elongators/whatevers] in italics, then expand below.
Ehem:
Setting aside for the moment the morality question\, I think we’re still at a place where the results will be way inferior to what you could manage on your own…*
I meant that. My buddy’s a smart cookie. I worked with him as he wrote his first pilot, and he kept me on my toes, responded thoughtfully to criticism, and leveled up fast. I don’t think you have to be a Former President of the Student Association Turned Lawyer (a.k.a. “keener,” for all the Canadians in the crowd) to be better at writing than Artificial Intelligence currently is.
AI can churn out passable, almost-competent “content,” but it can’t play. It can’t have fun. It can’t surprise itself. Everything I’ve (yet) seen from AI has been recognizable as a screenplay, and (let’s face it) superior to what the average, just-started-smashing-hehis-face-against-a-keyboard- screenwriter can produce. But there’s no real spark to it.
At least, not yet.
My thread continued:
But even if that weren’t the case, writing isn’t a destination. It’s a process that teaches and changes you along the way. And contrary to everyone’s secret fantasy, Screenwriting as a Job isn’t just a script you sell… it’s a collaborative human community that continues on through the last edit and final sound design tweaks.
This is the part of the thread that got quote-tweeted by at least two different tenured professors, so you know it’s the real deal. Either that, or it sounded vaguely like an inspirational poster and tenured professors are as susceptible to sunshiney bunkum as the rest of us.
I think the point stands, though.
Screenwriting, more than any other form of writing, is a communal act. Turn it into a machined product and you’re ripping the heart out of it. Not only are the people attempting to use artificial intelligence to write screenplays liable to produce heartless, emotionally blank dreck, they’re also robbing themselves of a precious and increasingly scarce thing.
As I went on to say:
Handing screenwriting over to machines isn't just ignoring the substantial risks of a new technology. It's an abandonment of some fundamental aspects of what it takes to live a good, fully human life... It's not outsourcing busywork; because creativity isn't a chore. It's the key to a joyous, full LIFE.
Why would you wanna outsource your joy?
Has anyone at this point NOT noticed that we’ve already handed over waaaay too much of the good things in life to a few tech-head control freaks so arrogant as to think that “engagement” is somehow the same thing as Love?
I’m old enough to remember life before the internet, and the day when Facebook spawned out of the Harvard cesspool and took the word “friend” from us, grinding it into a desiccated, lifeless powder.
That sucked.
My Lawyer buddy, who’s my same age, asked a great question – if maybe I’m resistant to this in the same way my grandparents were resistant to television. The answer is probably “yes,” to some degree, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that I’m wrong… or that my grandparents were, either.
I read an article once, in a volume of that Grand Repository of All Human Knowledge, “The Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader,” about a dude who raised a huge stink (heh heh) against the licensing of Radio, because he said music on the radio would kill local, community, amateur music. People would no longer sit out on their porches singing together and chatting with the neighbors who passed by, he worried. They’d retreat to their dens, and community (and the music that often bound it together) would be broken.
As far as my excremental memory recalls, the man protested all the way to Congress… and lost.
And so did we.
I know this sounds ironic, coming from a dude obsessed with filmed entertainments, but we are where and when we are. And we love what we love. As the inimitable conservationist, brilliant writer, and all-around nice guy Wendell Berry once told me, “Every time I go to the grocery store, I come back with a car full of compromises.”
We can tell good stories that help people remember good things. We can write stories that bind us together—we can reclaim, with good stories, a little bit of what I firmly believe we still know (on some level) that we need. But not if we hand our storytelling over to a regurgitation machine. A machine that never has fun, that has never known joy, that has never and will never know love. A machine that cannot an envision a future better than the shitstorm we’ve made of the present.
I’m sure a person could find ways to “use” this shiny new technology to speed up their screenwriting process.
But the last thing any of us need is another technology accelerating us further and further from a pace that is human, and beautiful, and good.
- - -
*I do understand there’s some moral gray area that's been monochromed into existence by the fact that AI is sorta-kinda only doing what the best Artists already do (stealing)… just on overdrive, without accountability, and with zero conscience.
There are definitely real, live, meat-popsicle human Artists out there with close to zero conscience, but their finitude makes them smack-downable. The AI deluge will be unstoppable and, without regulation, unidentifiable. Furthermore, I’m not personally convinced there’s as much gray area as AI proponents claim, because I think AI takes the Industry’s existing tendency to treat human Works of Art as “products,” or “content,” or “things,” and forces a mountain of amphetamines up its nose.
I hold with Terry Pratchett, who in this always re-postable discussion that Granny Weatherwax (the greatest Witch the Discworld has ever known) has with a Priest of Ohm, says:
"There's no grays, only white that's got grubby. I'm surprised you don't know that. And sin, young man, is when you treat people like things. Including yourself. That's what sin is."
"It's a lot more complicated than that--"
"No. It ain't. When people say things are a lot more complicated than that, they means they're getting worried that they won't like the truth. People as things, that's where it starts."
"Oh, I'm sure there are worse crimes--"
"But they starts with thinking about people as things..."
I think Granny’s right. And I think that extends not just to people, but also their Art (when it’s a real, Love-born expression of their true Themness). I think if you treat Art as merely “things,” or “products,” or “content,” you do something that’s morally wrong.
That sounds super Luddite and a wee bit fru-fru, I know. And there’ll be people who’ll tell me the whole blah-blah-blah about, “it’s where Art meets Commerce,” and, “Be a realist,” and, “Stop using your imagination to envision a world in which the pursuit of green paper rectangles doesn’t dictate every single human decision.”
To which I say, with all due respect and in the loving spirit of The Good Place:
Go fork yourselves.

I will warn you in advance, this will be a long post. I will put all the bracketed statements in italics and bold every quote to try and make them stand out.

So, I was not an extrovert in school, and people very quickly noticed. Bullying, social exclusion, yeah long, painful story short school was not a great time for me, and bar a few things I have to be thankful for (meeting my best mate for one) it's not a time I really like to remember.
I regularly go to a local pub, by regularly I mean I try to go at least once a week. It's kind of like an outing for me. I have gone to this pub since I was at least 18, and I enjoy it. However last year, this girl who went to my school started working there. This shocked me, as for one I hardly see anyone from my school drinking there (which is partly why I like it) so I did not expect to see anyone from my school start working there. But also, this girl was a grade under me, however we spoke briefly during what would turn out to be my last year there and well she was, there's no real nice way to say this so I'm just gonna say it, a b**ch. We'd also had some history where, long story short she'd more or less told me she was no longer interested in talking. So immediately I'm like 'well, this is awkward'.
Being the introvert I am, I did what I've always done in awkward situations. Avoid them. To the point that I literally avoided her existence, didn't acknowledge her and actively went out of my way to go to the other bar (there's two in this pub) to get served when she'd be there (which I have to say became annoying as there was a period where she was there nearly every week). Not only that but I actually would convince my best mate (who hung out with me there a lot last year) to leave if she was there and I didn't want to deal with her, usually just as we'd got there. We ran into each other at another venue one night, to which she tried confronting me about it all and I did what I've always done, not respond.
Needless to say, I had my best mate and others, including my therapist, trying to convince me for months to be at least civil with her (I had convinced myself I disliked her by this point). Of course I didn't listen, because to me the sky was gonna fall in if I even dared consider acknowledging her existence. But, I'd be lying if I said it wasn't starting to get old at this point. Even for me. And by the time I'd convinced my friend to leave for the last time, even I'd had enough. I actually asked myself 'why am I even coming here if this is what I do to myself?', all the people who told me to make amends used to say 'you're really screwing yourself over more than anything' and well, I'll give it to them, they were right.
So long story short, I decided I was going to do it. But how? Surely after more than a year of not uttering a single word to her other than beer requests initially, she'd give me a bad reception. Eventually though I just said F it, and walked up. To which she, much to my shock, actually opened the batting by asking if I wanted the beer I used to always get with my best mate. I didn't know she remembered, let alone how she remembered after so long. We've now got to the stage of cordial chats, and last time I saw her I actually apologised for how I'd acted during the past year. She replied with that's okay and we're sweeping it under the rug, although she did say, among other things 'I'm kind of paid to be nice'. So in other words, confirming my initial suspicion that it being at her work has a lot to do with it and that, had it not been there, there's every chance I would have got that bad reception I feared she'd give me. Oh well, she probably would have been entitled to that honestly.
Here's the thing though, she still didn't leave my mind. Even after putting it all to rest. I did say to myself 'if after I do this she's still on my mind then it's probably something more', but I think I didn't want to admit it. I have heard of that happening, a dislike covering romantic feelings (I do believe some of those other feelings were real at the time though), but I thought for sure that would never happen to me. It wasn't until I was talking to another friend of mine about it all, and I uttered the phrase 'I'm treating this as if it's someone I like', that I began to acknowledge it could be true. It was as if it was a lightbulb moment honestly.
My best mate doesn't know, and won't. He actually hangs shit on me for my dealings with her, joking that I do have feelings. If only he knew lol.. I did tell that friend I uttered the phrase above to, and my therapist. They were shocked, it's fair to say.
Why is it awkward? Well for one obviously the history, you know to go from not even acknowledging one's existence to feelings is quite a jump and to be honest even I can't fully understand why it's happened. She also has a boyfriend (wouldn't be the first girl I've had feelings for to have one in all fairness), but to be honest even if she didn't I doubt the feelings would be reciprocated. We're not even really friends, you know as I said to that 'other friend of mine' I mentioned above (who I also had feelings for at one time) 'at least when I had feelings for you we were friends so there was something to fall back upon, with this there's pretty much nothing'.
And I think it's gonna stay that way. A few months back I tried sending her a friend request on Facebook which she not only didn't accept, but deleted (I did it for another reason but knowing what I know now I think it could have had something to do with this, her having a boyfriend probably had a lot to do with it which didn't even honestly occur to me at the time). My therapist actually suggested bringing this up to her, which deep down I do want to do but like, where does it lead? It's either because she has a boyfriend (or some other reason), or it's more or less an admission that this relationship is purely to do with our interactions at the pub. In which case, you know how do you do that exactly without either making it awkward or walking away with a dagger in your heart?
Plus, I don't see us having any common interests really. Maybe a few, drinking, cars, we go for the same football team (which I'm not even all that interested in these days, I could get into it if it looked like it was going to progress further but it's likely not), that's it really. She's also friends with at least one person from my school who I know for a fact doesn't like me. So when my therapist says 'aim for friends first', you know it's good advice and I do agree with it, as I said above doing it right now would likely just make it even more awkward. And seeing as I have to see her a lot, yeah awkward is not what you want. It's just, you know how exactly do you suggest I do that? I havn't got much to work with as it is, and even if there was a chance of it happening, you know the boyfriend kind of kills it.
Obviously deep down I want to tell her. She's not the most attractive person out there but she's alright, she's definitely got her high points. You can definitely still see the b**chiness, but she's sassy asf and honestly, I can imagine she would be fun. However, I can't. And even if I could, knowing me I'd totally crap my pants.
Any advice you could give me on what to perhaps do in this situation, or even on how to cope with it all, would be very much appreciated. Sorry for the long post.

** ALL WEEKEND *\*
10 AM - 4 PM Winter Craft Show Old San Ysidro Church, 966 Old Church Rd., Corrales Free and open to the public. Unique, handcrafted works of art by New Mexico artists that are sure to delight this holiday season. The 35th Annual Winter Craft Show is the place to holiday shop this year!
6 - 8 PM Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone Flix Brewhouse, 3200 La Orilla Rd. NW Let the magic begin! We’re kicking off Flixmas with Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. An orphaned boy enrolls in a school where he learns the truth about himself, his family and the terrible evil that haunts the magical world (tickets)
** BOTH FRI 12/1 AND SAT 12/2 *\*
9 AM - 4 PM Holiday Craft and Plant Fair ABQ Garden Center, 10120 Lomas Blvd. NE Handcrafted items, plants, and food! All proceeds benefit the Council of Albuquerque Garden Clubs (more info)
** BOTH SAT 12/2 AND SUN 12/3 *\*
11 AM - 6 PM North Valley Holiday Stop & Shop Los Ranchos A festive two-day shopping event in the North Valley. Visit 28 unique businesses that include boutiques, shops, restaurants, salons, book stores, gyms, apparel, breweries, wineries, toy stores, specialty grocery stores and more! (website)
12 - 5 PM Holiday Marketplace Casa Rondena Winery, 733 Chavez Rd. NW Experience the magic of the holiday season, a splendid showcase of A curated show of handmade products, wine, food and festivities, and merriment that will warm your heart. Nestled amidst the picturesque winery in Los Ranchos de Albuquerque, this event is a perfect blend of artistry and indulgence, making it a must-visit destination for wine connoisseurs and those seeking unique, quality handmade gifts. Free admission to all. Tasting Room will be open 12-7pm, with an array of delightful offerings, as you find the perfect gift for the wine lovers in your life
Annual Arts & Crafts Fiesta Risen Savior Catholic Church, 7701 Wyoming Blvd. NE Join us for Food, Shopping & Fun!

• Sat: 2 - 6 PM
• Sun: 10 AM - 2 PM

4 PM Gloria Holiday Concert The Albuquerque Civic Chorus will be singing Gloria by Vivaldi, Christmas Day by Holst, familiar carols, hymns, Hanukkah and secular Christmas songs. $10 adv, $15 door

• Sat: Asbury United Methodist Church, 10000 Candelaria Rd. NE
• Sun: First Presbyterian Church, 215 Locust St. NE

** Fri 12/1 *\*
Fri 3:30 PM One Hundred Years After Heisenberg UNM Dept of Physics & Astronomy, 198 Yale Blvd. NE Distinguished Professor Emeritus, Carlton M. Caves, will deliver this week’s P&A Colloquium. Carl has been hard at work since his retirement from UNM in all kinds of ways, and importantly in his work to rethink the great questions regarding measurement in quantum mechanics. One hundred years after Heisenberg’s Uncertainty Principle, the question of how to make simultaneous measurements of noncommuting observables lingers (click link for more info)
Fri 5 - 8 PM Holiday Market The Gallery, 8210 Menaul Blvd. NE Sponsored by Tractor Brewing. Hoffmantown Shopping Center. What a great way to shop for one-of-a-kind affordable presents!
Fri 5 - 8:30 PM Winterfest "Christmas in Toyland" Rio Rancho City Center, 3149 Civic Center Cir. NE, Rio Rancho The City of Rio Rancho's Winterfest 2023 marks the beginning of the holiday season and is a great event for the whole family. Enjoy dinner at a Food Truck, gather for the parade in front of City Hall in City Center, then watch the tree lighting, and end your night with fireworks. There will be a variety of activities in-between for the entire family. Take your photo with Santa and enjoy a cup of FREE hot chocolate. The parade begins at 6pm and the tree lighting will take place at after the parade
Fri 5 - 9 PM Old Town Holiday Stroll New Mexico Museum of Natural History and Science, 1801 Mountain Rd. NW Join us for an evening of holiday fun! The Museum will be a destination on the City of the Old Town Holiday Stroll. Stop by for educational activities and plenty of holiday cheer! NatureWorks Discovery Store will be open to help visitors get started on their holiday shopping, and the Naturalist Center and Observatory will both be open to visitors. This free event is part the New Mexico Dept of Cultural Affairs' New Mexico Traditions program (more info)
Fri 5:30 - 7:30 PM 12x12 Fundraising Exhibitions Harwood Art Center, 1042 7th St. NW Our 12×12 Main Event will feature a preview of over 100 12x12 works by emerging and established local artists, the debut of Prelude/The Shop at Harwood, 6x6 artworks by Escuela Del Sol Montessori Students, dinner available to purchase by Route 66 Food Truck, complimentary hot cocoa and live music by Metamorfos. Prelude and 6x6 artworks will be available for public purchase at this event, 12x12's will go on sale at the link below the following day, Sat, Dec 2 at 6pm
Fri 6 - 8:30 PM World AIDS Day Expo NM, 300 San Pedro Dr. NE Our community will come together to honor those who have been lost to HIV and to celebrate our continued efforts in providing care for those living with HIV. In addition, we want to continue building awareness and education about HIV - to reduce stigma and foster the prevention of HIV. FREE EVENT. FREE travel mugs and blankets to the first 100 guests, FREE Parking for all participants, FREE refreshments. 6 PM – Meditation, reflection, and music. Refreshments are served. 7 PM – On-stage Presentation and speakers. 8 PM – Candle lighting, live music, and conclusion
Fri 6 - 9 PM Milonga del Corazon Tango in Bloom, 3409 Central Ave NE Join us for the last Milonga del Corazon of the year! DJ Paul will be bringing the music, Chef Mila the tapas, and me warm hugs that are long over due! $15 cover includes a glass of wine or botanical beverage! We do need to make sure we have the numbers to cover staffing for Mila's so if you intend to go, please RSVP as going. If you know people who would be interested in going that are not on facebook, please have them email me at [desertbloomdancer@gmail.com](mailto:desertbloomdancer@gmail.com) to confirm that they will be there
Fri 6 - 9 PM Holiday Dance & Toy Drive CSP Dance Studios, 1624 Eubank Blvd. NE Variety Dance with PURPOSE! Lets make sure that kiddos in the hospital get to celebrate a joyful Christmas! Please make sure to bring UNWRAPPED presents. Suggested toy donation ideas: Stuffed animals, arts and crafts supplies, gift cards, hygiene products, blankets, books, batteries, and clothing. Need some more ideas? Check out their Amazon Wish List
Fri 6 - 10 PM Karaoke with KJ Famous Amos La Luna Eatery, 7600 Jefferson St. NE Musical enchantment at our sophisticated yet family-friendly Karaoke Nights
Fri 7 PM Miguel Espinoza Fusion in Concert First Unitarian Church, 3645 Carlisle Blvd. NE Based in Denver, the Miguel Espinoza Fusion, the collective beating heart of world-class musicians Miguel Espinoza (guitar), Dianne Betkowski (cello), and Randy Hoepker (bass), invites the listener into a rich and colorful symposium of musical traditions. Firm roots in flamenco, classical, and jazz are woven through with North African rhythms, Celtic whimsy, and Brazilian expressions for a sound that is transformative, vibrant, and deeply emotive. Their fourth album, Gabriella (2023), features the collaborative efforts of two-time Grammy winner Howard Levy, as well as fellow two-time Grammy winner David Balakrishnan, of the Turtle Island Quartet. Their third album, Living in a Daydream (2022), again features extensive collaborations with Howard Levy. Advance tickets $20: ($25 at door)
Fri 7 PM A Night of Holiday Jazz, featuring Amy Faithe and Keith Robertson City on a Hill Church, 3715 Silver Ave SE Come join us for some holiday tunes, cocoa and cookies! Singer, songwriter, recording artist, and ABQ Native, Amy Faithe has been mesmerizing audiences with her powerful and dynamic vocal stylings since the age of 5. With musical influences such as Aretha Franklin, Whitney Houston, Ann Wilson and Barbra Streisand, Faithe has been afforded the opportunity to perform in NYC, Los Angeles, Las Vegas, and Nashville to name a few. Amy is currently recording and performing with her pop/rock band “The Fa”, alongside co-founding member Mike Araiza. US tour dates coming soon! Keith Robertson is the nephew of legendary Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Inductees The Isley Brothers, and a professionally trained drummer, percussionist, songwriter, and producer. The industry first took notice of Keith in 1988 when he received percussion and drum programming credits on Teddy Pendergrass’ Gold Plaque award winning LP “Joy”. From there, he toured as a singepercussionist with Grammy Award winners “The Dazz Band.” He went on to receive a multi-platinum award for his songwriting collaboration on N-Sync’s 11 million + bestselling CD “No Strings Attached” in 2001 (tickets)
Fri 9 PM The Next Episode: A First Friday Experience Uptown Funk, 4720 Alexander Blvd. NE Relive the 90s and 2000s! Our DJs Gonzo Supreme, M. Martinez, and Clout will transport you to the era of boomboxes and baggy jeans with legendary Hip Hop and R&B tracks. Capture memories in our dedicated photobooth, with a professional photographer on hand to ensure visual memories. Don't miss this blast from the past. Grab your presale tickets before they sell out
Fri 10:30 PM Cybergrime - one late night of 8 breakneck shorts of hypersleazy technophilic subversion! The Guild Cinema, 3405 Central Ave NE Check out the trailer. Dir. various - 2023 - 62m. NOT ONE FOR THE KIDS! Content Advisory: extreme sexual violence, murder, suicide, gore, nudity, bodily fluids, substance abuse and some shorts contain flashing lights! Curated by Henry Hanson and presented in partnership with FACETS, CYBERGRIME is a disgusting erotic nightmare lovingly extracted from the fiber optic cable lodged in the slimiest depths of your brain. Oversaturated and underexposed: 8 twisted short films (ANNIHILATOR, A.I. MAMA, 1-888-5-BLUE-YOU, S.I.D.S, UN PD AVEC PC, MONSTERDYKË, BLACK PILL & PURE FILTH) plus original glitch art form this breakneck 62-minute collection of hypersleazy technophilic homo-depravity, with a live electronic solo set by Keikii (tickets)
** Sat 12/2 *\*
Sat 9 AM - 2 PM Girl Scout Holiday Entrepreneur Craft Fair 6600 Gulton Ct. NE The holiday season is upon us, and what better way to celebrate than by supporting young entrepreneurs in our community?! Unique Handmade Crafts: Our talented Girl Scouts have been busy creating a variety of handmade crafts. Shop for unique gifts and keepsakes, perfect for the holiday season! Support Young Entrepreneurs: By shopping at our fair, you're supporting the entrepreneurial dreams of young girls. Every purchase helps them learn business skills and brings them one step closer to their goals. Local Shopping: This holiday season, keep your shopping local. By buying from our craft fair, you're not just getting a unique product, but you're also giving back to your community. Come shop, enjoy the holiday spirit, and support our young entrepreneurs!
Sat 9 AM - 5 PM Christmas Open House Osuna Nursery, 501 Osuna Rd. NE Join us for the jolliest celebration of the year. You'll find winter's natural splendors from gorgeous evergreens to the flair of Christmas cactus. As you explore the Christmas Shop filled with North Pole Quality décor and gifts enjoy: Exclusive one-day discounts on all seasonal merchandise, Festive treats and cocoa to keep warm, Enchanting carols, and our very own visit from Santa Claus himself with the opportunity for photos from 11am to 1pm. It'll be a day of holiday fun for the whole family that promises unique gifts made easy!
Sat 9 AM - 5 PM Christmas at the Marketplace Poulin Marketplace, 8600 Pan American East Fwy NE Shop for your family and friends at this festive event and support local, family-owned businesses, including local artisans. Family fun activities including: Photos with Santa from 9am - 4pm by Caycee J Photography, sign up here, Live Music, Food Trucks, Vendor Fair
Sat 10 AM - 3 PM Craft Fair Jefferson Middle School, 716 Girard Blvd. NE Come shop Local at our annual Holiday Craft Fair - Please join our community as we celebrate another amazing event. Shop local while supporting our public school and small businesses. Over 70 vendors. Live music. Food. Silent Auction and more. AHS band boosters will be here to preform and share holiday cheer
Sat 11 AM - 1 PM A Little Holiday Event with Rose Princess and Little Mermaid Creativity Warehouse, 1950 Juan Tabo Blvd. NE Be our guest at Creativity Warehouse to celebrate the holidays and paint your own pottery with the Rose Princess and Little Mermaid! Each participant will get their choice of one piece of tiny tot pottery, a princess portrait with both princesses with a digital download, and a magical storytime hosted by the princesses! (tickets)
Sat 11 AM - 1 PM Gingerbread House Decorating St. Tim's Lutheran Church, 211 Jefferson St. NE Join us for a delightful day of decorating gingerbread houses, an ugly sweater contest, raffles, and delicious treats, hosted by Greater ABQ Habitat for Humanity! Space is limited, so please register! This event is open for family groups with youth ages 5+. Raffles, Youth Ugly Sweater Contest, Hot Chocolate, Goodies, And More! For more information or to RSVP to save a spot, reach out to: [regina@habitatabq.org](mailto:regina@habitatabq.org) or 505-359-24
Sat 11 AM - 2 PM Holiday Pop Up Market La Salita Restaurant, 1950 Juan Tabo Blvd. NE The holidays are right around the corner! So why not pop in, have lunch, and support local artists! Join us as we host local vegan vendors both inside and outside of our restaurant. As well as a portion of all food and beverage sales will go to benefit Santuario De Karuna. Santuario is a an incredible animal sanctuary located in Tijeras, NM, and is the home to over 45+ residents! Some of the local crafts for purchase will include; Handmade jewelry, soaps, desserts, sipping chocolate, crafts, photography, crochet work, a local massage therapist, dog trainer plus more! So please join us in supporting Santuario as well as getting some of that holiday shopping done
Sat 11 AM - 3 PM Holiday Jingle at Avanyu Plaza Indian Pueblo Cultural Center, 2401 12th St. NW The Indian Pueblo Cultural Center invites you to experience the magic of the season at this FREE festive family event. We'll have live holiday music, art, children's activities, and more! Avanyu Plaza will be decked out for the holidays, and you can also enjoy the food and refreshments at our wonderful restaurants while you’re here: 12th Street Tavern, Sixty Six Acres, Indian Pueblo Kitchen, Itality Plant Based Foods, Rude Boy Cookies, Starbucks at Avanyu Plaza, Laguna Burger
Sat 11 AM - 4 PM Holiday Herbalpalooza Red Root Acupuncture and Herbs, 2400 Rio Grande Blvd. NW, Ste E We will have artisan craft vendors, herbal goodies, chair massage, kids activities, tamales and herbal teas. One hour workshops: Herbal Smoking Blends, Aromatherapy Blending and Bath Bombs! This will be a fun, family friendly event where you can stock up on all your herbal holiday goodies and visit with the Red Root Community!
Sat 11 AM - 5 PM Holiday Market Rio Bravo Brewing, 1912 2nd St. NW It's the time of year for beer and holiday cheer! Join us for a holiday market featuring 30+ local vendors throughout the brewery. We will have live entertainment, food and drink specials! A perfect opportunity to grab some Christmas gifts while you drink which typically isn't allowed at the mall! FREE entry. All ages welcome
Sat 11 AM - 10 PM The 4 Casks of Christmas Steel Bender Brewyard, 8305 2nd St. NW, Los Ranchos Our winter warmer, Brickie American Stout, cask-conditioned with a few of our favorite things, and then we pair a pint with different treats from local businesses. This year's theme is Cozy Coffee House, all casks have the addition of local coffee! For $7 you get a pint + a treat (WHILE THEY LAST)! And remember, casks are available THAT DAY ONLY...tapping at 11am. Cask #1: Maple and Brown Sugar Brickie with Colombian Coffee from Little Bear Coffee (click link to see pairings for every Sat in Dec)
Sat 12 - 4 PM Holiday Mercado Rayos Del Sol, 6780 4th St., Los Ranchos Music By DJ NB, Local Artisan Vendors, Food! Come and get your holiday shopping done with 30+ local artisan vendors. DJ NB will be bringing the hottest music!
Sat 12 - 5 PM Annual Holiday Market Bow & Arrow Brewing, 608 McKnight Ave NW Sip & Shop from a holiday mix of local artisans and merry makers in a cheerful festive beer hall! Etkie, Momo & Co., Uncle Joe Designs, Robert Mesa, 4 Your Plate Only, Bruce Lane, Eat Cute Bakery, Milford Calamity, Quw'utsun' Made, Hands On Clay, Make It Beautiful Designs, Prickly Foods, Rowan & Wren Flowers. Eats by NewMex-A-Que
Sat 1 - 3 PM Basics of Distilling Class Southwest Grape & Grain, 3401 Candelaria Blvd. NE A beginner level class covering the distilling process and the ingredients that go into various spirits. Enjoy some good craft spirits? Always wanted to make your own? In addition to discussing the various types of spirits and the ingredients that go into them, we will cover the basic distillation process, various types of stills, and everything else you will need to start making your own whiskey, rum, vodka, or moonshine! (tickets)
Sat 2 - 4 PM Annual NM Photographic Art Show: Shades of Gray Expo NM, 300 San Pedro Dr. NE Come see some AMAZING B&W photography this holiday season! Join Andrew Kozeliski and many others for the opening reception. Enter the fairgrounds on San Pedro at Copper. Free parking for the event
Sat 4 - 6:30 PM Annual Mexican Dinner and Bake Sale Second Presbyterian Church, 812 Edith Blvd. NE $13 for Adults, $6.50 for 12 and under
Sat 5 PM Watch the Twinkle Light Parade Empire Board Game Library, 3503 Central Ave NE Watch the Twinkle Light Parade with the best seats in Nob Hill, enjoy some hot chocolate, and after the parade stay and play some games!
Sat 5 - 7 PM Stories by the Fireside Indian Pueblo Cultural Center, 2401 12th St. NW Enjoy the spirit of the holiday season and the age-old tradition of storytelling around the bonfire! Each event includes Native American storytellers and tales, cultural dances, and refreshments. Admission to each event is a new or lightly used children’s book. All books will be donated to the Coalition to Stop Violence Against Native Women. Doors open at 4:45PM. Please dress warmly as this is an outdoor event. 5 - 6 PM: Dance Group - White Mountain Apache Crown Dancers (Apache), 6 - 7 PM: Storyteller - Michael Garcia (Santa Ana) (click link to see schedule for each weekend)
Sat 5:15 PM Twinkle Light Parade Nob Hill Get into the holiday spirit with this year’s Twinkle Light Parade! This family-friendly event will light up Central Ave. in Nob Hill from Washington Blvd. to Girard Blvd. Comprised of all local businesses, organizations, school groups, families, and more, the parade is sure to live up to its twinkly reputation. Grab the family and get there early to enjoy this City tradition!
Sat 6 PM Belly Dancing Night Sahara Middle Eastern Eatery, 2622 Central Ave SE, Ste A Come for a night of dancing, food, and entertainment!
Sat 6 - 8 PM Free Night for Foster & Adoptive Families Explora, 1701 Mountain Rd. NW You're invited! Foster, adoptive, bio, guardian, kin and forever families -- join us! Join New Mexico Child First Network once again for our annual night-in for foster, kinship, guardians and adoptive families at Explora! This is a no-cost event full of fun activities, community resources, free pizza, hot cocoa, pictures with Santa, and more! Free for all attendees! Please RSVP here. SEE YOU THERE! LET'S HAVE FUN AND CELEBRATE FAMILY!
Sat 6 - 10 PM Dance Through the Decades Geckos Bar and Tapas Too, 5801 Academy Rd. NE Fundraising event for Carrie Tingley Foundation kid’s hospital. $5 a person or $20 for 5 people. Live music by The Ross Brothers Band. Dress up as your favorite decade! We're turning back time from the swinging '60s and the groovy '70s! Dance through the decades with us and raise money and awareness for a great foundation!
Sat 6 - 11:30 PM Metal, Rock, and Hip Hop Show Juno, 1501 1st St. NW Medusa's Madhouse - NM's Ultimate Tribute to Anthrax, INS - 90s Rock, T.R.U.T.H. (True Rhymes Uniquely Teaching Honesty) - Hip Hop. 21+. $5
Sat 7:30 - 10 PM West Coast Swing Social Dance CSP Dance Studios, 1624 Eubank Blvd. NE Join us for a fun night of West Coast Swing dancing! Great music and a fun group of dancers. There will also be a little bit of Country Two Step and Night Club Two Step to mix things up. Come out and dance with us! No partner necessary. @ CSP Dance Studios. $5 SSNM Members, $8 Guests (non-members)
Sat 8 - 10 PM 90s Country Covers Night Tractor Brewing - Wells Park, 1800 4th St. NW Come two step to the songs you know and love live by the incredibly talented Back In The Saddle! They'll play all the hits you know and love from George Straight, Brooks and Dunn, Shania Twain and more!
Sat 8 PM - 1 AM Adobe Disco Sister, 407 Central Ave NW Adobe Disco x Alexis Tucci x The Silver Rider x Install by On Syt. $10 tickets at the door
** Sun 12/3 *\*
Sun 10 AM Pulp Fiction Historic Lobo Theater, 3013 Central Ave NE THE HISTORIC LOBO THEATER along with Albuquerque Film & Music Experience is excited to bring Pulp Fiction to the big screen! Showing Starts at 11:30 am Tickets are ONLY $10 for General Admission Come Early Brunch Starts at 10 am Full Buffet Available for only $21. The ticket price is for entry to the movie only. Pajama brunch and a movie. Exclusive Brunch Menu! Made to order pancakes, mimosas and more. 10% off if you come in your pajamas
Sun 10 AM - 4 PM 1 Year Anniversary - Beer and Coffee Extravaganza Sunday Service Motor Co, 2701 4th St. NW We are hitting our one year mark! It has been an awesome year and we want to thank and celebrate...YOU! Swing through for special thank you from the Sunday Service Team, Coffee, Beer, Food and Live Music by @ crazybird. We cant wait to see you, show our appreciation and HAVE SOME FUN!
Sun 11 AM - 3 PM Beyonce Brunch Damacio's Bar and Tapas, 722 Central Ave DJ Shatta
Sun 11 AM - 4 PM First Sunday Stroll Nob Hill Main Street Come support local business while discovering all that Nob Hill has to offer: a variety of pop up vendors, specials, workshops, and walkability. Explore the area on the first Sunday of each month and find some new favorite shops, eateries, classes, and fun!
Sun 11 AM - 4 PM Holiday Market Little Bear Nob Hill, 3123 Central Ave NE Tis the season for good tidings and local goods— join us for our Annual Holiday Market! This year’s bustling bazaar is full of amazing local vendors offering a variety of goods including vintage clothing & homewares, live-screenprinting, jewelry, art, baked goods, bath & body and more! So come, sip coffee, eat, shop and cross everyone off your gift list! Free Entry All ages event
Sun 2 - 6 PM Holiday Ho'ike Hiland Theater, 130 Monroe St. SE Come and join us for a festive celebration at our Holiday Hōʻike! Get ready to be dazzled by an unforgettable event filled with live music, dance, and joy. Immerse yourself in the cultures of Polynesia and the holiday spirit as we showcase the talents of the dancers of Ka Lā Kapu Polynesian Dance School, with special guest performances by Hula Mai Kalani and Ka Mele Kapu. From traditional dances to modern renditions, this event promises to be a delightful experience for the whole family! Don't miss out on this incredible opportunity to celebrate the holidays island style! Guests will also enjoy holiday shopping with local vendors featuring a selction of handmade and unique gifts. 2pm - Doors Open for Holiday Shopping, 4-6pm - Show (with intermission). 30% of all proceeds will be donated to the Maui Strong Fund at the Hawaiʻi Community Foundation (tickets)
Sun 3 - 4 PM Holiday Concert KiMo Theatre, 423 Central Ave The ABQ Concert Band invites you to join them as they usher in the season with our traditional holiday concert. Downbeat is 3pm. As always, this concert is FREE and open to the public
Sun 4 - 7 PM Music on the Patio: Brightsmith Canteen Brewhouse, 2381 Aztec Rd. NE Americana, 90s, Folk Cover Band
Sun 6:30 - 8:30 PM Monty Python and the Holy Grail Flix Brewhouse, 3200 La Orilla Rd. NW You might think we’re coconuts, but 'tis the Holy time of the year. Experience the 48½th Anniversary of Monty Python and the Holy Grail this holiday season (tickets)

This has been on mind for a few weeks now, but since I deleted Facebook and Twitter over a year ago now I don't really have anywhere to post this so I thought I'd throw it on here since it's likely the only subreddit where this isn't going to get immediately deleted.
So there has been news reports for the last week in the UK about how Muslims and The Left are organising a pro-Palestinian march for this Sunday to coincide with the Remembrance Parade that takes place every year at the Cenotaph to remember Armed Service personnel who died in battle during WWI and beyond.
I say The Left in italics because quite often things get boiled down a Left Vs Right thing which obviously never quite works. I consider myself a social conservative, so I am technically of The Right, but I can't stand a lot of the so-called Right-Wing Zionist shills. So on this issue it places me personally in a strange situation. I don't support Hamas, but can absolutely sympathise with ordinary Palestinians. I don't support Zionists, but I can absolutely sympathise with ordinary Israeli civilians. I absolutely cannot support Islamists and their moronic left-wing allies in the West, but I also absolutely cannot support British conservatives and so-called nationalists who place Zionist causes above British interests.
So with all this said as a preface, I thought I'd go over a few issues here and perhaps help both The Left and The Right find a mutual position here.
Firstly, let's point out the real big one: The fact that Zionist Banks in both America and Britain deliberately prolonged WWI in exchange for the Balfour Declaration.
During WWI, the war had led to a stalemate in which the British were considering armistice. A peace agreement between the Allies and the Central Powers in either 1916 or 1917, would have saved millions of lives from America, Europe and the Levant. So why didn't it happen? One of the most prevalent reasons given is that the American's entrance into the war (using German U-boat activity as a precursor) was agreed behind closed doors because of the strong Zionist lobby within the American government.
In other words, the Balfour Declaration, which gave Zionist Jews the promise of Palestine, led to millions more deaths of Americans, Europeans, Arabs and Turks. So how many Goyim was Israel worth?
This is all before we point the finger at who exactly were responsible for the rise of Communism and the destabilisation of Germany. Simply put, had the war ended more amicably then we might also have avoided WWII altogether and even more deaths, not to mention the holocaust which we're told is the entire reason that we can never question Isra..... oh wait. Maybe there's something in that. (Why the hell is the holocaust even called the "holocaust"? Ho-hum.)
Second issue with this whole farce is this: 141 British Service Personnel were killed in Palestine during 1945-1948, mostly by Jewish terrorists.
During the first Palestinian conflict, both Arabs and Jews attacked Commonwealth soldiers posted there who tried to maintain the peace, however (despite Britain's promise to slowly hand-over control) most British deaths were the result of Zionist attacks, not Arabs - which is ironic given that it was Britain that was openly facilitating a population replacement.
To put it into context, around 457 British service personnel died in Afghanistan in two decades of counter-insurgency work, so 141 is not a small number.
Why on earth are these facts always ignored by so many of the pundits on The Right in media discourse? I mean I have my suspicions of course... but I doubt I'm allowed to voice them on Reddit.
This is before we point out things like, oh I don't know, the fact that Israel continued to sell anti-ship missiles to Argentina during the Falklands conflict.
The TLDR to all of this is: The left and the right are equally co-opted by vested interests and nuanced, reasoned debates that take facts into consideration are deliberately prevented from being expressed because information like what I've written above blow all of these media mouthpieces out of the water.

I’ve been selling my art for a few years now, which means I’ve been dealing with social media scammers for about the same length of time. Until today, it’s always been on Instagram, but this morning I got my first ever Facebook page message from a scammer. I’m sharing because they dug themselves in a hole from the start and it’s interesting to watch them keep trying even though it’s never going to work. For reference, whenever I get an enquiry like this I'm 99% sure it's a scam. However I always try to be polite and give them information until it becomes obvious, because occasionally it's not a scam and I don't want to lose clients!
My thoughts/commentary as the conversation goes are in italics – I didn’t message those bits.
Anelia (scammer): Hello (waves emoji) I love (heart emoji) the art (art emoji) work you do are your commissions open? (wink face emoji)
(I’m a fine art painter; a real customer never, ever begins a conversation with this many emojis, never mind a wink face one to end with. I’m already sure it’s a scam)
Me: Hi, yes I do take commissions, but I couldn’t fit anything in before Christmas, if that’s what you were looking for?
Anelia: (shares a photo from my FB feed, which happens to be of the front cover of my new 2024 art calendar that I just launched)
Anelia: Is it still available?
(OK, so she says she wants a commission, but now she’s asking if my calendar is available. I realise I could have a bit more fun with this if I act as if she’s interested in the painting on the front and not the calendar, for reasons that will become apparent).
Me: that’s my 2024 calendar. The piece on the cover is currently available yes, through the Teichert Gallery in Halifax. Would you like their contact details?
(I’m not lying here, the piece on the front of my calendar is currently for sale through this gallery)
Anelia: Where are you located?
Me: I’m in Nova Scotia Canada
Anelia: Can you ship to USA?
(At this point I take a quick look at her profile for fun… She has a Russian sounding name, and most of her posts are in Russian)
Me: Yes, the buyer pays the shipping costs but I have shipped to both the USA and Europe before
Anelia: Okay
Me: I’m not sure whether the Teichert Gallery can ship that particular painting to the USA though, you would need to ask them
Anelia: (replying specifically to my last message) They can
(Wow, she managed to get in touch with them quickly… their website refers to them being able to ship art, but not where they ship to)
Anelia: What is the total amount including the shipping fee?
Me: You would need to buy that piece from the gallery, I don’t know what their shipping fees would be. Their number is (gallery phone number).
Anelia: Sorry I want you to ship it for me
Me: I’m afraid I can’t do that, the painting is with the gallery for them to sell. I’m not sure why you wouldn’t want the gallery to sell and ship it to you?
Anelia: Okay
(there was a longer pause at this stage; I suspect she was consulting someone else on how to reply to this)
Anelia: Did you know what I can send you the money and get it for me?
Me: why would you do that? It’s much simpler to buy directly from the gallery
And she hasn’t replied since… it’s been over 6hrs now so I think she’s given up. I’m honestly surprised she didn’t give up when I said the piece was with a gallery, but then I guess all these scams bank on the artist being desperate for a sale, so I was supposed to either take the painting from the gallery and sell it myself (that’s not going to endear me to the gallery if they find out!) or – and her last effort was hilarious – buy it myself from the gallery using money that she was going to send me, and then send it on to her.
She was just so desperate to have a reason to send me money, and as a result acted in a way that NO genuine client would. These things are all scripted, and as soon as she sent that image I knew her script wasn’t going to work and I was curious to see how she dealt with it. And she was worse than I thought!
Sadly, there are too many scammers trying to pull this stuff on independent artists, and many are so excited at the prospect of a paying client that they go along with what is being proposed....

I’ve been selling my art for a few years now, which means I’ve been dealing with social media scammers for about the same length of time. Until today, it’s always been on Instagram, but this morning I got my first ever Facebook page message from a scammer. I’m sharing because they dug themselves in a hole from the start and it’s interesting to watch them keep trying even though it’s never going to work. For reference, whenever I get an enquiry like this I'm 99% sure it's a scam. However I always try to be polite and give them information until it becomes obvious, because occasionally it's not a scam and I don't want to lose clients!
My thoughts/commentary as the conversation goes are in italics – I didn’t message those bits.
Anelia (scammer): Hello (waves emoji) I love (heart emoji) the art (art emoji) work you do are your commissions open? (wink face emoji)
(I’m a fine art painter, a real customer never, ever begins a conversation with this many emojis, never mind a wink face one to end with. I’m already sure it’s a scam)
Me: Hi, yes I do take commissions, but I couldn’t fit anything in before Christmas, if that’s what you were looking for?
Anelia: (shares a photo from my FB feed, which happens to be of the front cover of my new 2024 art calendar that I just launched)
Anelia: Is it still available?
(OK, so she says she wants a commission, but now she’s asking if my calendar is available. I realise I could have a bit more fun with this if I act as if she’s interested in the painting on the front and not the calendar, for reasons that will become apparent).
Me: that’s my 2024 calendar. The piece on the cover is currently available yes, through the Teichert Gallery in Halifax. Would you like their contact details?
(I’m not lying here, the piece on the front of my calendar is currently for sale through this gallery)
Anelia: Where are you located?
Me: I’m in Nova Scotia Canada
Anelia: Can you ship to USA?
(At this point I take a quick look at her profile for fun… She has a Russian sounding name, and most of her posts are in Russian)
Me: Yes, the buyer pays the shipping costs but I have shipped to both the USA and Europe before
Anelia: Okay
Me: I’m not sure whether the Teichert Gallery can ship that particular painting to the USA though, you would need to ask them
Anelia: (replying specifically to my last message) They can
(Wow, she got in touch with them quickly… their website refers to them being able to ship art, but not where they ship to)
Anelia: What is the total amount including the shipping fee?
Me: You would need to buy that piece from the gallery, I don’t know what their shipping fees would be. Their number is (gallery phone number).
Anelia: Sorry I want you to ship it for me
Me: I’m afraid I can’t do that, the painting is with the gallery for them to sell. I’m not sure why you wouldn’t want the gallery to sell and ship it to you?
Anelia: Okay
(there was a longer pause at this stage; I suspect she was consulting someone else on how to reply to this)
Anelia: Did you know what I can send you the money and get it for me?
Me: why would you do that? It’s much simpler to buy directly from the gallery
And she hasn’t replied since… it’s been over 6hrs now so I think she’s given up. I’m honestly surprised she didn’t give up when I said the piece was with a gallery, but then I guess all these scams bank on the artist being desperate for a sale, so I was supposed to be desperate enough to either take the painting from the gallery and sell it myself (that’s not going to endear me to the gallery if they find out!) or – and her last effort was hilarious – buy it myself from the gallery using money that she was going to send me, and then send it on to her. She was just so desperate to have a reason to send me money, and as a result acted in a way that NO genuine client would. Oh, that piece is available from a gallery? Great, I’ll give them a call. End of conversation! Never mind that her first message was about commissions and yet she wasn’t interested in commissioning me at all (that’s the more normal route for these scams: “please paint my dog/son/house”).
These things are all scripted, and as soon as she sent that image I knew her script wasn’t going to work and I was curious to see how she dealt with it. And she was worse than I thought!

TL;DR;

“Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.”— Seneca Semisonic, Closing Time. Hat tip to dubious_unicorn for the correction.

I learnt that to write, there’s no secret. You just have to write. And every step on the journey, even pressing “Publish”, is merely the start of another journey with more things to learn, improve and get better at.

Background

I have always written. I blog weekly (usually around 1.5 to 2k words) about my life living on a boat. Occasionally, I’ve tried to write a novel, but they’ve been abandoned for various reasons. In the last three years, I’ve probably written somewhere in the order of 500k words. This time, I finished. I wanted to share a bit about what was involved beyond the writing part.
Firstly, a bit about what I wrote. It's a memoir about what happens when you up and quit your job, move to Greece and buy a boat with no idea what you’re doing. It ended up at 68k words long and took around 22 months from start to live on Amazon.
It didn’t start in isolation. A friend who is a big fan of the weekly blog planted the seed that “you should make this into a book.” After thinking about it, I realised that instead of struggling with plot and motivation, this is what I wanted to write about. The idea was as simple as “I’ve got some fun stories, why don’t I turn this into here’s what I learnt along the way and maybe readers will find something to help them too.”

Lessons Learned

1. Write: There is no secret. Just write. Get those words out of your head and onto paper. They will suck. That’s okay. Build strong habits. I can pump out 2k words every Saturday morning for my blog. I've done it for 165 weeks straight now. At first, it was just a public journal, but now it's become more. I practice writing techniques, like including dialogue from incidents during the week and fleshing out the characters and scenes of life on the boat.
2. It gets easier: Writing about my life in book form was intimidating at first but liberating because I stopped worrying about the plot and second-guessing things; I KNOW what happened next. It let me focus on dialogue and character. Of course, it turns out that even in a memoir, the plot is essential - it came back, but it helped me write without worrying about it at first.
3. Stop obsessing over beginnings and endings: The first scene in my story wasn’t written until draft 3 or 4, about 16 months in. Write, then finesse. DO NOT GET STUCK FINESSING WHEN THERE’S MORE WRITING TO DO.
4. Spelling, grammar and formatting don’t matter: At least, not at the start (with the caveat that you’ll naturally get better at it the more you write). I wrote a lot of raw material, very badly, that I ended up throwing away for bigger-picture story issues. I’m glad I didn’t waste too much time making that word perfect.
5. Get it out in front of people: Unless you genuinely write just for yourself, you need readers and lots of different ones. Have some people read and re-read it chapter by chapter. Save some readers to approach it with clean eyes, and it’s okay if they only ever see a particular draft. If what you're writing is technical, get non-technical people to read it (important for a memoir about a boat!)
6. Brown M&Ms: Van Halen famously had a rider for their concerts that specified a bowl of M&Ms with the brown ones removed. The reason was simple - if that instruction was followed, it was a good bet everything else was too. How does this apply to writing? I left “Brown M&Ms” in my manuscript. Egregious typos, like a lowercase b at the start of a word e.g. bWhere are you? If you proofread and miss these, I get a sense of how thorough you are. Conversely, if they are the ONLY thing you see, that tells me something, too. My brother was DETERMINED to find an error, and he spotted the “Brown M&M’s” and three others. I found many more after that. The idea of these “Brown M&Ms” was accidental, but I used it a lot after the first errant b made its way into a draft.
7. Have a viewpoint: I’m a nobody. Seriously, there’s no reason to listen to me about living on board a boat. Still, my writing and the engagement of my test readers dramatically improved once I allowed myself to express opinions and have a point of view. People want to feel something when they read. It might be agreeing or disagreeing with you, but you can’t equivocate your way through a book. There’s a degree of imposter syndrome here that you have to fight to overcome here, I think.
8. Strong characters: Every book needs them—even a memoir. Paint pictures for your readers and let them get to know and love the characters in your book. Even though this book is my story (or your hero’s), it improved when I rewrote it with more dialogue and conversation. Early test readers were frustrated as I told the story but failed to explain, at least briefly, the motivations of those who helped us achieve goals along the way.
9. Make them feel: Although it’s your book, you have to ask, “What do you want the reader to feel?” I had several anecdotes I loved in earlier drafts. The feedback? “They all make the same point, and I feel like you’re hitting me over the head with it.” If you ask for feedback, you need to be honest with yourself and listen to it. You don’t have to follow it; it’s your book, but it’s also entirely possible that your writing doesn’t have the intended impact.
10. “Art is never finished, only abandoned” - Leonardo Da Vinci: I did four drafts, reviewed every line with Grammarly, went through at least ten beta readers, printed hard copies and had my pedantic and detail-focused wife redline errors. There are still occasional mistakes. Fortunately, they are generally not spelling problems but poor word choice, wrong word choice or inconsistencies. Even now, I continue to find more I could change. The ending is still not as strong as I’d like. Eventually, you have to let it go.
11. It doesn’t stop at writing ‘The End’: If you intend to publish, traditional or self, the writing is just the beginning. It took a couple of months from “I’ve finished!” for formatting, proofreading, cover art, etc.. I rewrote the last two chapters after feedback from people who were “fresh eyes” as my final review. I’m yet to be agented or traditionally published (it’s a goal for a future project), but I hear it’s more like 12 - 18 months in that realm.
12. It doesn’t stop at hitting Publish either: Having published, I now realise there’s even more to go! Some things I’d heard of (and some I’d never heard of), but I didn’t appreciate how much was involved until I got there. For example, did you know there’s an Amazon Authors site? You won’t find out about it until you’ve published, but once you have, you’ll need a bio and a headshot as just ONE example.
13. Start your cover early: I had a finished manuscript fully edited and ready to go, but I had to wait for the cover, which was frustrating. It was something I could have done in parallel.
14. You will learn by doing: I’ve been told repeatedly to write first and edit later. Yet the lesson never really stuck until I completed this project. Having completed this project (although the temptation to drop an update with a few edits is strong!), my second project — a short fiction story has been MUCH easier. I feel more confident in leaving things unfinished and incomplete and to keep pushing forward. I know just how much revision there is to go; I won’t miss it. I know now that I will reread each word twenty, thirty, fifty or a hundred times more. I am a lot more efficient about getting those words out of my head so I can get to the meat of properly constructing and building the story with the understanding it’s going to change along the way. Mechanically, I’m also a better writer. All those words and all that past effort mean that, while not perfect, my dialogue and grammar are improving. It’s generally well-formatted the first time and, I think, more engaging.
15. Footnotes suck: I LOVE footnotes, I use them extensively. They are the hallmark of Terry Pratchett, my favourite author and the writer I wish I could be. They are also frustrating to format correctly and difficult to read on Kindle. Knowing what I know now, I would have avoided them for this project. FWIW, I have just under 100 footnotes. I love them all like they are my own children. Humour, fourth wall breaks, glossary, the uses are endless, but if you're sticking to Kindle Create (which I happily recommend as a first-time author), just don't.
16. Write: It’s worth repeating. There is no secret. Just write, then edit.

The process

First draft (12 months)

This took around a year to complete, with several lengthy breaks. I tended to write in bursts of three chapters. I sent three chapters at a time to alpha readers with strict reading instructions:

1. DO NOT TELL ME ABOUT GRAMMAR OR SPELLING. I KNOW IT SUCKS.
2. Is it fun? Is the story interesting? Do you want to read more? Is there anything confusing?

A lot of feedback at this stage was “There’s something here, you should continue,” but also “I want to hear more about character X,” or “Why did you do that? What were you thinking?”
This first draft was around 75k words.

Second draft (2 months)

I took the first draft and started to tidy it up a lot. My early alpha readers at this time could see things improving. I brainstormed with them on how to complete some arcs.
The manuscript then went out to another three new readers with similar instructions.
One of them came back with very harsh advice. They told me that this manuscript is interesting, but overall it sucks. They pointed out a lot of problems that the early readers had missed. Characters are introduced out of sequence, the action jumps back and forth in time, and there’s a general lack of cohesion.
The early readers, who all read chapter by chapter, were by now so familiar with the material they tended to focus on “this reads better,” or “Joe is much stronger as a character now,” but not “is the whole making sense.”

Third draft (5 months)

I printed all 200+ pages and went back to pen and paper. I found this a VERY good way to restructure, cross out and re-arrange content (lots of big red pencil arrows and margin notes).
This was the most disheartening edit. I took the feedback from the second draft to heart. I streamlined things. I deconstructed the whole book, separating all the scenes, reordering them into themes, and then rewriting and moving them together in a new order. My overall arc changed considerably. While the content was often the same, the messages and meaning changed.
With a clearer picture of HOW the book fit together, it was obvious the introduction (which I loved) was selling a different story. I rewrote the first chapter with a different focus.
It wasn’t until this draft that the “WHY” of the memoir started to evolve. Before, it was a collection of loose anecdotes. Now, it has become something with a point of view, a tale to tell and a reason why the target audience would want to hear it.

Fourth draft (1 month)

At this point, I considered the book was done. After all, I’d sweat blood and tears to tear it apart. I explored Grammarly and Pro Writer (I chose Grammarly because I couldn’t get Pro Writer to work with my toolset — more on that later). Every single sentence was polished, and at this point, BIG efforts were put into stylistic consistency. Was it North or north? Were boat names in italics? Was it 1 AM, 1 am or 1 a.m.? Learned or learnt? I’m Australian, so I decided to publish to Australian English standards, but I’ve also lived and worked in the USA for so long (last nine years) that my spelling is inconsistent.
I sent drafts to people who had a significant role in the book to ask if they were OK with how I’d described them (or in a select few cases, where I didn’t want to approach them, I went into the book and changed a few key details to make them anonymous). It was a huge boost that everyone I asked said yes, with only two coming back with relatively minor modifications.
I then sent it out to influencers I’d selected as my ARC reviewers - people I would ask to write reviews. Both are relatively large YouTubers in their niche - sailing/boating content. This step was helpful but could be done better. I learnt through doing. These people were what I thought an ARC should be, but ultimately, my process was flawed. I can use them as grab quotes in ads, but they aren’t review writers, which I think is more important.
One of them wrote a fantastic blurb but also came back with a lot of feedback about the ending. The last two chapters left them feeling very unsatisfied. I took a break for a few days, then looked at them again with their feedback in mind. They were right. More content got moved, and the penultimate chapter became the end, while the final chapter was cut from 4,000 or so words to an epilogue of around 600.
It ended up at around 68k complete.

Formatting / Publishing readiness (2 months)

At this point, I was done! I had a novel. I am thrilled with it. I’ll publish it.
Yeah, there’s a lot more to it than that!
I had to format it as an eBook, create Front and Back Matter, and create a cover. This took more time than expected; in particular, the cover was far more involved than I thought.
Having published and submitted the eBook for review, I figured, “Why not just go with the Kindle Direct Publishing for paperbacks…” Yeah, there was a lot more to learn there, too.
Formatting for print is not a trivial exercise, especially if you use a lot of footnotes. And, of course, then there’s print covers.

The tools

CAVEAT: I genuinely believe the tools DON’T MATTER (except for print publishing, which comes later). See Lesson 1. WRITE. You can waste a lot of time picking fonts, page layouts and so forth that distract from what you’re trying to write. That said, here’s what I used:

1. Ulysses. This is a Mac / iPhone app focussed on writing and content organisation, using markdown. Why do I love it? Five reasons:
   1. It keeps my focus on writing.
   2. Markdown keeps my manuscript clean. I write, THEN worry later about what template to use for exporting.
   3. It keeps things structured. Both chapters/notes, etc. AND content (e.g. headings). This becomes critical in formatting for the eBook and Publishing later.
   4. Revisions. I can scroll back to the very first version of chapter 1, 20 months ago. I can write and delete without a concern I’ll lose something.
   5. It syncs with my iPhone, and I can use it on the go.
2. Grammarly. I hear pro-writing aid is better for long form. I couldn’t get it to integrate with Ulysses, but Grammarly worked like a charm. So that’s what I’ve used.
3. Kindle Create for ePub. Free from Amazon, it works extremely well for straightforward eBooks (especially if you’re not too obsessed with the design of chapter headings and scene breaks or don’t want many images.)
4. Sketch for Cover Design - a design tool I’m familiar with and like. It’s not ideal for that, but I could make it work.
5. Print Copy Interior PDF. It's here that I got stuck. Kindle Create puts all the footnotes at the end of the book (technically end notes). Vellum allows them per chapter, but I have so many I need them per page. Atticus is the easiest option I found that lets that happen. Ulysses would work IN THEORY, but there are no templates out of the box for the Amazon Kindle Trim Sizes, and I didn't want to create my own (I might yet), so Atticus it was. This is my caveat - if you're print publishing, you want a good tool that helps you do what you need. Obviously, a professional will go to InDesign, but as a self-publisher, I felt that was overkill and too big a learning curve. Atticus was perfect for that, although I prefer Ulysses for the writing.

What’s next?

The book is in the wild; now it’s promotion time. So, I’ve become a (terrible) graphic designer, creating posts for my community. I’m approaching large Facebook Groups in my genre to ask permission to promote. I’m setting up interviews with some YouTubers. I’m pushing friends and family to buy and give it a star rating and a review. I'm refreshing my KDP dashboard 10 times a day, and I’m basking in the glory of having finished something.
This stage is a marathon, not a sprint. People promise to buy it, but I can see they haven’t (yet) - something that’s easy to do if they are my only Canadian friends. I want reviews, but with only a few days in the wild, they are slow coming in. People buy books but don’t read them quickly all the time.
I chose to release it on Amazon only, mainly for simplicity and to push it on Kindle Unlimited. I was surprised at the success of the Paperback version. I almost didn’t bother, but at the moment, 25% of sales are a Paperback copy.
I’ve also done well in the categories I chose, hitting the #1 New Release in two of the three and #8 in overall sales for the week for one of them. I suspect this also means there are not a lot of sales in those categories, but it’s still a nice pat on the back to see “#1 in” against your listing.
Against the background of this promotion, I’ve moved to editing my new novella, and I’ve started my next book.
Thanks for reading! And, if you have questions fire away, I'll do my best to get to answering them over the next 24 hours or so.

Totally not me right now A definitive list of everything we know about the season as of now, between official information releases and leaks/outside sources.

September

• September 20^th - 24^th - Psychic Spectacular. Release of shiny Solosis. • September 23^rd - Grubbin Community Day. • September 27^th - October 2^nd - Out to Play Event. An event focused on Routes, will feature Showcases for both forms of Growlithe. • September 30^th - Azurill Hatch Day.

October

• October 5^th - 9^th - An event celebrating the release of Detective Pikachu Returns. Will feature costumed Pikachu, possibly along other Pokémon from that game. • October 7^th - 8^th - City Safari:Seoul: Seoul sees the introduction of Skiddo. There's also a Go Battle League Weekend event for global players, featuring more sets per day and a timed research. • October 12^th - 17^th - Harvest Festival featuring Smoliv. • October 13^th - 14^th - City Safari:Barcelona. Unlike the Seoul one, there's no global event. • October 15^th - Timburr Community Day. • October 19th - 31^st - Halloween. Will see the releases of shiny Phantump and Zorua, and the debut of Greavard (See you again next year, Mimikbros). From the 26^th, this will also be a rocket takeover event, in which Giovanni will get shadow Regigigas. Usually includes candy bonuses. The Halloween cup runs in GBL from October 20^th - November 3^rd . • October 21^st - Skorupi Incense Day.

November

• November 4^th - 5^th - City Safari:Mexico City. Event hours on the 5^th are noticably longer than usual, to accomodate: • November 5^th - Wooper Community Day. Will see the release of Paldean Wooper, and its evolution, Clodsire. • Early - Mid November - Festival of Lights, with the release of Tadbulb and shiny Morelull. Festival of Lights type events correlates to the Indian holiday of Diwali, which occurs this year on November 12^th. GBL sees an Electric typed cup from November 3^rd - 17^th , so possibly around that time. • November 11^th - Mega Garchomp Raid Day. • November 21^st - The Master Ball timed research ends, with trainers unable to finish it in time able to buy a ticket for a special research rewarding one (thanks Niantic). • November 25^th - Mareep Community Day Classic.

October raids

• September 16^th - October 6^th - Mega Gardevoir. • September 23^rd - October 6^th - Entei, Raikou, Suicune. • October 6^th - 20^th - Guzzlord. • October 6^th - 20^th - Mega Gengar. • October 20^th - November 3^rd - Darkrai. • October 20^th - November 3^rd - Mega Banette.

Showcases Prep

Decided to add a section here, to help folks collect and be ready for the upcoming showcases. Currently, it seems all showcases are based on who got the biggest, but that might change in the future. CD Pokemon, despite not being confirmed as such, would be listed (in italics) as every CD now features a showcase of the title Pokemon.
• Grubbin, Vikavolt • Growlithe (both forms) • Timburr, Conkledurr (CD) • Pumpkaboo, Gourgeist • Shuppet, Banette • Phantump • Gastly, Gengar • Wooper (both forms), Quagsire, Clodsire (CD) • Mareep, Ampharos (CDC)

Conclusion

And that's the season so far. As for the theme of it all, I find it very hard to determine, and there simply might not be one, as the events seem typical for the season and real life circumstances, rather than related to a specific in game lore.

References

1.https://reddit.com/TheSilphRoad/s/J0QeLV7uPe 2.https://reddit.com/TheSilphRoad/s/oGExADjk8u 3.https://reddit.com/TheSilphRoad/s/rjakf0SGFB

(now 30 years old)
I've tried to break this into two parts: normal text = main story, italic text = my additional thoughts and ramblings.
One day on Facebook I got a message from a woman saying she knew my dad, and said she was his kids' cousin. Not knowing a lot about my dad's family, I thought she was saying she was my cousin in some weird way so I went running downstairs and showed my dad but he said he didn’t recognise her. I can’t remember the exact conversation from there but she said that my dad had a previous marriage and 2 children that he left for my mum. My parents came running upstairs when it clicked in my dad’s head who she was, and the secret broke out. My dad had left his family for my mum, and the youngest was only 18 months older than my elder sibling.
The story I got from my parents was that he was in an unhappy marriage and they had met at work. They didn’t have a long affair but realised soon after meeting they wanted to be together. His ex-wife’s family apparently had a violent side so when my dad left, he left them the house and essentially everything he owned so he could leave quickly but always paid child support and wanted to stay in his children's lives. His family also reacted very badly to his situation and had very little contact with him afterward. He said he wasn’t legally going to go after any shared custody because he knew he was the one leaving and didn’t want to make things worse financially or emotionally. But, after trying to have visitation with the children on her terms it apparently always turned into a huge argument which he didn’t think was fair to the children. He also said her family did turn violent, sending threats to their home and workplace and even throwing a brick through his office window. So ultimately he cut ties, thinking it was better for all the children involved. When said violence was going on, my mum was also pregnant with my older sibling so more children would be involved soon too.
The story I got from the other side, their dad was having an ongoing affair and left them with absolutely nothing, paid no child support, and was told he was just a horrible person but said they knew very little about him really. I know a limited story, but at the time I was actually more interested in getting to know my half-siblings than getting a story of what we were told may or may not have happened in the past.
​
I can verify that his family has not spoken to him my whole life. I met his mother once when I was about 5 or 6 and she has only recently re-made contact with him being probably close to 90 and wanting to make amends… and his dad died when I was very very young. I can also kind of verify leaving all his stuff as he has spoken about family stuff that he just “no longer has” in separate conversations (things that you would leave in places like the loft).
Of course, he would be in jail if he hadn’t paid child support based on our financial situation when we were younger, although this did change as I went into my teen years so it may have impacted the amount being paid to them.
Other than that these are just the stories parents told their children.
As I write this, I note that the financial situation changes my family had (from a 4/5 bed detached house with annual holidays to places like Florida and Egypt and private schools, to a 3-bed semi-detached house, with holidays rare if at all and normal schools) occurred around the same time as this first contact from the cousin… So maybe that did change the child support at least enough for the subject to be a topic in the household again and to trigger the contact.
​
So I got to know one of my half-siblings a bit more, and very much enjoyed doing so. I tried with my other half-sibling, but much like my full-sibling, they were not very interested in the whole situation and weren't so interested in getting to know each other, which I get.
After some time of speaking to them, they asked if I could pass their number on to our dad because they’d really like to get to know him. This was the elder of the half-siblings, so must have been about 18 at the time. I remember feeling so excited, We were all basically grown up now, they could finally have a relationship with their dad, and I could have another sibling!
​
The thing is, my dad was a great dad when we were growing up. Yes, he had his flaws and grumpy moments, like all parents do. But he’d be a parent on all the school trips, but would get us into fun mischief - like going to see the dinosaurs instead of human evolution at the natural history museum, or making us take goofy or trick-illusion pictures (like we were standing on each other's heads or something), he would always be up for any fun adventure we were on as kids and was always cracking typical dad jokes, and was also hard-working and provided for us well. So with this perception of him, I of course wanted my half-sibling to get to know him and finally have a father figure which they indicated they never had before that I felt I had somehow selfishly robbed her of by being the chosen child.
​
Oh how wrong I was. My dad, initially, I remember seemed quite up for the idea. But somehow from the initial asking my dad, my mum got involved. And the argument started. It somehow turned into that they couldn’t believe I had the audacity to make contact with his children, knowing what they went through with the threats from their family and how I could be opening that can of worms all over again. But the line that really stuck with me from my mum “What do you expect, you to all go play happy families while I sit at home”.
And after that, I just didn’t know what to say to my half-sibling or anyone about the whole thing.
I never texted them back.
And the subject was never brought up again in my family. (Except for the occasional dig I threw in mid-argument during my teen years about it)
The reason I’m writing this I guess is to just try to process the situation again and get an outside perspective. After 15/16 years I still hate how I handled the situation and wonder what my half-sibling must have thought at the time and even now. And I've never spoken to anyone about it.
I know I’ll get a lot of your parents are arseholes… but I feel somewhat responsible for the whole thing too. And it just bugs me, what must be going on in my parents' heads. And how my half-sibling may be feeling if I feel this bad…
I don’t know. Sometimes I feel like I’m missing a point here.
​
And I thought it may be an interesting POV from someone who was a child that is part of that chosen second family. Ergh, the guilt.
​
I still feel so awful about never trying to explain the situation to them and maybe try and just build a relationship with them with no involvement of parents. I lost the number a long time ago, and can’t find them on social media (maybe even blocked from all that time ago…) so it’s not a possibility now which I have thought about.
But that was the thing, I was a teenager, a child even. How could I process why my parents couldn’t open this relationship when I thought it was one every kid surely deserved to have if they could, and in this situation basically an adult asking to have that relationship? I was basically threatened with bringing violence on my family, which was something I had never had to deal with, I did grow up in a bit of a cotton-wool bubble, I just thought at the time I was maybe protecting my family and still to this day don’t know how to explain the situation properly. I just don’t understand the “why” from my parents, especially my mum, who wouldn’t let someone as an adult have a relationship with their dad but very hypocritically claims Mamma Mia is one of their favourite films.
And why keep the whole thing a big secret until they had to tell us? It’s not like divorce and half-siblings are a big deal, it’s normal… Isn’t it?
I’ve never spoken to friends about it out of embarrassment I think and my family do not speak about this at all (or anything that has feelings involved) and it would probably end up in another argument to try to even have a conversation to understand why. And I’m sure I’d be met with the same story of violence. But all I can and could see was someone trying to get to know their dad at an age where their mum's brothers, extended family, and mates surely wouldn’t start the same stuff again as years ago… Like 16 years ago at the time? (basing that on the age of my older sibling)
​
And if somehow you’re my half-sibling and reading this, and I’m sorry…
And if somehow you're my sibling and reading this, no you didn’t.

Totally not me right now I've complied a list of predictions for the next season's events and releases, based on official information and the leak that floated around a couple of weeks ago. Obviously not everything is known past september, so take everything later than that with a grain of salt and don't rely on it too heavily.

September

• September 1^st - Season begins. New GBL season as well, which will include a vast move shakeup. Rotated spawns. Timed Research rewarding a master ball will be available (running until November 21^st ). • September 2^nd - Charmander Community Day Classic. Will include both of its exclusive moves- Dragon Breath and Blast Burn. • September 5^th - 10^th - Ultra Unlock #1. Titled "A Paldean Adventure", you'll be able to choose one starter and go on an adventure with it, and eventually evolve it. Lechonk will also be released, along with its shiny form. Unown forms spelling 'PALDEA' will be available from raids.4x XP and Stardust from catching Pokemon. • September 10^th - 15^th - Ultra Unlock #2. 4 new debut: Nymble, Pawmi, Bombirdier (also available as a shiny), and Frigibax. Shiny Lechonk becomes available, and several old pokemon shiny rates are boosted. • September 13^th - First DLC of Pokemon Scarlet and Violet (The Teal Mask) releases, and a new outfit is released in Pokemon Go, might include further unannounced bonuses, but currently it's part of the ultra unlock event. • September 17^th - Oddish Research Day. • September 20^th - 24^th - Psychic Spectacular. Release of shiny Solosis. • September 23^rd - Grubbin Community Day. • September 27^th - October 2^nd - Out to Play Event. Unknown details as of now, but will feature Showcases for both forms of Growlithe (more on that later), so could be either Hisui or Canine related. • September 30^th - Azurill Hatch Day.

October

• Early to mid October - Harvest Festival featuring Smoliv. • October 7^th - 8^th - City Safari:Seoul: Seoul sees the introduction of Skiddo. There's also a Go Battle League Weekend event for global players, featuring more sets per day and a timed research. • October 13^th - 14^th - City Safari:Barcelona. Unlike the Seoul one, there's no global event. • October 15^th - Timburr Community Day. • October 21^st - unknown Saturday event. • Late October - The Annual Halloween Event. Usually includes candy bonuses, and the release of a new Ghost type family. The Halloween cup runs in GBL from October 20^th - November 3^rd , so likely around that time.

November

• November 4^th - 5^th - City Safari:Mexico City. Event hours on the 5^th are noticably longer than usual, to accomodate: • November 5^th - Wooper Community Day. Will see the release of Paldean Wooper, and its evolution, Clodsire. • Early - Mid November - Festival of Lights, with the release of Tadbulb. Festival of Lights type events correlates to the Indian holiday of Diwali, which occurs this year on November 12^th. GBL sees an Electric typed cup from November 3^rd - 17^th , so possibly around that time. • November 11^th - Unknown event, might be tied to the Festival of Lights event. • November 21^st - The Master Ball timed research ends, with trainers unable to finish it in time able to buy a ticket for a special research rewarding one (thanks Niantic). • November 25^th - Mareep Community Day Classic.

September raids

• September 1^st - November 1^st - Shadow Zapdos. Available only on weekends. • September 1^st - 16^th - Kartana / Celesteela. Northern and southern hemisphere, respectively, switching on September 8^th . Mega Manectric. • September 16^th - 23^rd - Genesect Burn Drive. • September 16^th - October 6^th - Mega Gardevoir. • September 23^rd - October 6^th - Entei, Raikou, Suicune.

Showcases Prep

Decided to add a section here, to help folks collects and be ready for the upcoming showcases. Currently, it seems all showcases are based on who got the biggest, but that might change in the future. CD Pokemon, despite not being confirmed as such, would be listed (in italics) as every CD now features a showcase of the title Pokemon.
• Charmander, Charizard • Lechonk • Nymble • Pawmi • Oddish • Spoink • Grubbin, Vikavolt • Growlithe (both forms) • Timburr, Conkledurr (CD) • Wooper (both forms), Quagsire, Clodsire (CD) • Mareep, Ampharos (CDC)

Conclusion

And that's the season so far. As for the theme of it all, I find it very hard to determine, and there simply might not be one, as the events seem typical for the season and real life circumstances, rather than related to a specific in game lore.

From Facebook (my own additions/links are in italics):
Dear Stylists,
Shining Nikki will have update maintenance from 2023-8-25 2:00:00 to 2023-8-25 6:00:00 (UTC-7). During the maintenance, Stylists will not be able to log in. Please be aware of the maintenance and plan your game time accordingly.
It may take longer or shorter than expected to complete maintenance. Thank you for your understanding!
Please be aware that there will also be a non-mandatory update available on App Store and Google Play Store.
Maintenance CompensationPink Gems x100, Stamina x60, Mystery Tickets x3

1. Memory Collection Season VIII will be updated. Collect time-limited set pieces to obtain [Netga·Starry Muse] and tons of rewards!
   1. Should be this set
2. The Max Level of Nail Salon will be raised to 59 after the update.
3. New makeup adornments and snap features will be available. Stickers can also be layered. There is also a limited-time bonus event for you to better experience the optimization. Let's dive in!
   1. The global announcement for the makeup and snap features is here!
   2. My post about these two features on the TW server, plus the sticker layering, is here (summary at the bottom is pretty accurate, just note those "face decorations" are a new type of item)
4. The themed event [Sleeping Star of Eternity] will start after the update. Join in the event and wake up the princess to earn tons of rewards!
   1. Post with all the currently announced info here
5. The benefits event [Burning Heat] will be available after the update. Complete tasks to get the SR clothing - Burning Heat!
   1. Announcement post here
6. The benefits event [Bloom Up] will be available after the update. Share to get the SSR clothing [Bloom Up], a pose, and Pink Gems!
   1. Announcement post here. This is the set Nikki wears in the Bloom Up music video from Nikki's 10th anniversary!
7. The 9th [Stylist Recall] event will be available! Invite your Stylist friends to win plenty of rewards!
   1. Announcement post here
8. The COLOURS Fashion Show event will be available for a limited time. Collect Show Tickets to get limited rewards including [UR Concept Choice] and more!
9. More sticker backgrounds such as [Night Light] and [Wonderful Celebration] can be unlocked in Photo after the update.
   1. Sounds like there will be more too, but guessing it's these: Night Light (32 pink gems) and Wonderful Celebration (28 pink gems)
10. You can use "Quick Unlock" in Nail Art Research after the update.
11. There will be a double-check button for you to avoid any misoperation when you leave the Styling Competition after the update.

Bugs Fixed
Optimized the UI interfaces and the visual display of some clothing pieces.
A few of these haven't gotten announcements yet, I am not sure if they will. If they are, I'll edit in links to the announcement posts!