Hello all,
I've thought about this for a little while now and I think that, unfortunately, I need to rehome my little guy. I really don't want to, but my mental health is not where I want it to be, and it's affecting how I take care of my gecko. I don't want to end up being one of those crappy owners that neglects their pet simply out of stubbornness. I really did the best I could and I had hoped that having a little critter to take care of might help me out, but it seems as though it's having the opposite affect.
The gecko is still very shy and timid, and he hides a lot. I've never been able to hold him, and I've hardly touched him. He's skittish as well. I don't think he would be good for kids, but an adult owner. I'm really hoping to find someone on the more experienced side to take him.
Along with the gecko, you'll get all of the stuff I've got for him - tank, hides and clutter, bug grub, shelving unit for the tank, lighting, etc. Literally all of it. I would ask for some money back since I have spent a lot, but I dunno, that seems kind of weird. We can talk about it though.
So, if you or anyone you know is in the Sacramento area and is looking for a new friend, please let me know! I'd be more than happy to talk. Also, if anyone has any good recommendations for other places to advertise rehoming my lil guy, that would be great.

This is a copy of a report filed with the IRS and local police departments. It is a 3 page report detailing a Pittsburgh area AAU baseball team called Pittsburgh premiere and their illegal activities over the past 4+ years. Activities include tax evasion, money laundering, racketeering, filing false tax returns, embezzlement, theft, mail fraud, and running an illegal gambling operation. They use youth baseball as a front for their illegal operations.
the owner runs a youth baseball “non profit” in southwestern Pennsylvania. I put non profit in quotation marks because there are hundreds of thousands of dollars being generated every year through tuition and gambling operations but most of it is not used on baseball or the players but seems to disappear. The owner is running a non profit but running it as a business and making very large unreported profits. There is no over sight on the money or costs associated with the program.
In 2020 there were 72 players across 6 teams at an average of $2500 a year in tuition per player. That’s $200,000.
Expenses include tournaments at around $500 each(around 8 tournaments per team per calendar year). Indoor training facilities (at a discount as it’s owned by one of the coaches on staff). Baseballs. Insurance. Team Equipment. 2 uniforms for spring/summer. (Fall uniforms are typically a hat/t shirt donated by a sponsor). Bat bags. Helmets. Etc. All travel expenses are covered by the parents though. I would estimate expenses around $100k a year worst case scenario. which would leave around $100k that should be invested back into the program and players. For things like individual Equipment. pitching machines for each team, technology like Rapsodo, professional guest coaches like college/pro coaches, uniform/tournament cost and travel costs. But it disappears every year.
To try and explain where all the money goes the owner told a parent he has to pay big field rental fees(not true it’s typically free for a resident to get a field permit) and that he pays 20k a year for insurance. According to the web it’s around $300 a year per team for sports insurance. So $1800 roughly for 6 teams. That’s off by $18,200. For 72 players. So $18,200 is missing. To compare, A local community (greater Baldwin Whitehall athletic association) with 2000 ball players pays 6k a year for insurance. Jessie Siefert is the president and Told us the costs for his entire org. Again. GBWAA pays $6000 a year for 2000 players and jim coulter claims to pay $20,000 for 72 players.
At the 2020 cash bash 4 years ago (and each year since ) the owner charged his own organization $15,000 for food(many non profits get the food donated or at the very least provided at cost). There were around 350 people in attendance. That is approximately $42 per person for food. For frozen chicken fingers, pasta, rolls, pop, and salad. The owners restaurant provided the food For the event. We tried to raise funds for our sons but the owner took $15,000 off the top for food that could not have cost more than $2000-$3000. I have not spoken to one family that made money unless their ticket won or they won money gambling. Because everyone spent more money donating baskets than they received on their ticket sales.
An at that 2020 cash bash. 72 Families were given 15 tickets each to sell for a cash bash at $40 each. The owner Let one dad sell 57 tickets off the top. taking money out of 71 families hands and putting it into the hands of one guy. Why? Why that guy?. That guy is a bookie. The owners bookie. He goes by the name of “smitty”. And the owner bragged to me personally that he gambles $4000 per football game. Plus This bookie was owed $10,000 dollars by a friend of the owners. I don’t know his name. But it was the cousin of one of the assistant coaches. Which nearly resulted in fight between the bookie and the assistant coach in the parking lot at the end of the cash bash. Which then resulted in many parents questioning if the fundraiser helped to alleviate someone’s gambling debts. And that appears to be what happened.
40k brought in on ticket sales 15k given out at cash bash. $25x 1000 ($25k) given to parents for each ticket sold. And Expenses =Food. Beer (donated i believe) Hall rental. Party Supplies. We sold Jell-O shots. Liquor shots. (Both donated by parents). Money wheel. Dice game. Multiple 50/50 all night. “Tip boards”. Chinese auction ( all baskets donated) and table games.
People in the count room estimate We Must have brought in 40k+during the cash bash with 350-375 people attending in person and tipping on all of their winnings. Money was pouring in everywhere. My wife and i lost at least $250 gambling at the event alone. Nearly every guest I talked to says they lost/spent over $100 at the event.
Yet All of those games and events brought in exactly enough money to cover the cost of food. Beer. And party supplies. ? So we brought in approximately 80k gross. Gave out 15k at the event in cash bash winnings and gave parents $25 per ticket or $25k. And our expenses at the event were $40k for a 4 hour youth baseball fundraiser? Most people do not spend $40,000 on a 300 guest wedding. which included $15k in food that went straight to the owner of the program. How did all of the other gambling and sale of things like Jell-O shot and liquor (that were donated by parents) result In 0 profit. Nothing. Not one dollar. I saw hundreds and hundreds of dollars in the tip cup at the bar and yet none of that was profit? The 50/50 profit alone was in the thousands on the night. Yet it disappeared.
One family gave the following information. our personal donations and expenses were around $600. But they only received $500 for selling 20 tickets. So they lost $100 on the event. But the owners restaurant had a $15000 night for food that probably cost around $2000-$3000.
The only people that seemed to make money were the owner and his buddies who he allowed to exceed The table max from $10 a hand to $100 a hand on a table game. The table game lost over $1000 within minutes and had to be shut down.
2 days after the event the owner and his wife flew to las Vegas for a vacation. With what appears to be tens of thousands of dollars of Pittsburgh premieres money that was raised by families for their son’s baseball expenses.
Pittsburgh premiere also routinely promotes lotto tickets for sale on Facebook. They are advertised to benefit Pittsburgh premiere players. Here is one example. 250 tickets were sold. 1000 possibilities. Based on the Daily 3 digit. 25% chance someone who bought a ticket wins. 75% chance the owner wins and keeps it all. They are trying to ensure the winning ticket doesn't get sold. By Only selling 250 tickets. With 1000 possibilities. That means it's a 75% chance the owne keeps it all.
Not only that. To make matters worse they also have an org wide bingo every year where all of the proceeds “go to the org” not the players or their families. the coach keeps the money. All of it. Tens of thousands in profit for this bingo completely disappears each year. Each family is forced to sell X number of tickets. It’s in the contract they sign when they join the team. The event brings in tens of thousands in profit and it all goes directly to the coach Jim coulter and none of it appears to be spent on the boys or baseball.
I am told he takes the cash and buys equipment and supplies for his restaurant and will not be able to explain where the cash comes from. As well as cash funneled through the restaurant.
This appears to be money laundering. tax evasion. Embezzlement. Filing of false tax returns. Misappropriation of non profit funds. Mail fraud. felony theft. Racketeering. And Illegal gambling. This “non profit” runs a year round illegal gambling and fundraising operation that includes football polls. Basketball polls. Lotto tickets. Bingo games both in person and virtual. Cash bash events multiple times a year. And They post about these events and fundraisers on Facebook all year long. Very little of the funds actually benefits the players and the org. The people involved used Venmo and PayPal for gambling but more recently switched to cash to try and conceal the money.
This coach was forced out of his job as a police officer when he was found to have unlawfully beaten a motorist after a traffic stop and it resulted in a Multiple million dollar lawsuit settled for the plaintiff
When I try to make the money disappear on paper. I can’t. Not even close. Even if each team does 12 tournaments a year(they don’t). At $600 per tournament (it isn’t) that’s $43,000. And if uniforms/helmets/bag bags are $600 per player (they aren’t) that’s another $43,000. That’s $86000. With $124,000 a year left for equipment. Baseballs. Indoor training facilities (that one of the coaches owns and rents at a discount to the team). Insurance. No matter what I can’t seem to spend $200,000 a year on 6 teams no matter how frivolously I spend it on paper. For profit teams often pay the head coach, sometimes up to $5000 a year or more I’m told. But that’s still only $30,000 across 6 teams. And I don’t believe that income was claimed on any tax returns as they try to force you to pay in cash for tuition. And fundraisers to limit the paper trail. So all of the coaches accepted cash but did not report it as income. They can’t stand it was a gift as it was a paid position in cash.
Also. In 2019. When the owner was coaching for another AAU org. He organized a bingo fundraiser for his 11u team. The owners of that team forbid him from running the fundraiser using their name when the org would not benefit from it. He did it anyway. And was fired. He took that 11u team and created the Pittsburgh premiere org.
around 150-200 people attended this bingo game in 2019. and the owner reported the profit only covered the costs of the event and a handful of tournaments and uniforms for the players. The owner reported Approximately $9000 in profit from the 13-14 families that sold tickets to the event. His restaurant also provided the food but we did not get the food at a discount or at cost. The event also included games of chance like the aforementioned cash bash. He kept the $9000 and was supposed to use it to completely fund the season but we had to give more money when he spent it all. I do not remember all of the details. It just immediately struck me as odd that a coach would be so adamant and insistent that we organize a bingo fundraiser when no other for profit baseball org does that. You charge the parents tuition and it’s their responsibility to come up with the money and that’s the end of it. He insisted on organizing a bingo game and handling all of the money. And having his restaurant provide the catering at a premium price.

In March of 2024, Mark Orr, the Athletic Director for the athletic department for Sacramento State University attended the practice of the Sacramento State Cheerleaders as they prepared for their National Competition in Daytona Beach, Florida.
He explained that to be covered by insurance to go to Nationals, they would have to become a "club".
The athletes would have to vote on becoming a club. They asked how this would change the program, would they still be NCAA during game seasons, would they still cheer during football, basketball, and volleyball games, can they be insured by an outside vendor for the event?
Mark Orr looked them in their faces and told them if they became a club, the school could help them. Nothing else would change, this would just be a "paper change." CSUS preferred to not insure programs using outside companies. But don't worry, everything will stay the same.
Yesterday, the first day of the summer session, two days after cheer evaluations and tryouts concluded with teams being posted, the 2023-2024 dance team and cheerleaders received an email from the Athletics Department.
Mark Orr outed himself as a liar.
He let them know that since they wanted to "compete" on their own merits, they were no longer a part of the spirit block at Sac State. Despite the years they have dedicated to perfecting their dance, cheers, tumbling, and stunting, they would no longer sit in front of a crowd and cheer on their teams.
The athletic department (which has had no time to offer a STUNT program or competitive cheer program as part of its school athletics program) will be forming a committee to find a director for this new spirit squad. Then they will advertise widely to get applicants, interview, and hire them. That person will then develop a program how they would like, have tryouts, pick their team, coach them, and get uniforms for them.
To add insult to injury, Mr. Orr thinks so little of these athletes that he believes he will have all of this done in the next 80 or so days since this is now the squad you will see at Hornet Fest and welcome back activities.
Many of the current Sac State Cheerleaders live on campus. In the past, they have spent their own money to stay near campus before the dorms open to practice, train, and workout to be ready to cheer on their Hornet Athletics. Everything about the way Mr. Orr and Sac State Athletics has handled this screams vindictive, retalitory, immature, and egotistical.
Please encourage Sac State Athletics to rethink this decision and put spirit back in the hands of cheer and dance. I also suggest they rethink who is leading their Athletic Department going forward.
A petition can be found at change.org/sacstatecheer

This short story is a part of the Mieran Ruins Collection. The rest of the stories can be found on this masterpost.
Fort Spencer was often called Fort Retirement. The base lacked weapons beyond the bare minimum, it conduced little research, it had no civilian governments to coordinate with. It received a higher amount of foodstuffs and luxury goods than five bases combined. The staff came in two flavors, high-ranking officers that were nearing the end of their life and fresh soldiers to serve them.
Fort Spencer was located near a large lake which was perfect for training exercises (boat excursions). The wildlife was noted to be not as mutated as other parts of the country. The flora had a tendency to glow, but analysis showed it was no more toxic than the rest of the world. As such, it was considered charming. Most officers spent their careers hoping to end in this location.
Frida, Polly, and Jim didn't know any of this history. They only knew that it had a radio that connected it to the bases across the land. This made it perfect for their advert.
"Alright, so step one is seeing how many guards there are. I think we should wait for a few hours and see how many guards come out," Polly said. She looked at her partners. Frida and Jim looked at each other. Olivia would've insulted her, and Reid would've claimed credit for her idea. Both would listen to her though. Frida and Jim had no idea how to do that. Instead, they both broke out running at Fort Spencer leaving Polly sighing in their dust.
"Fine. We'll do it your way." Polly crouched to the ground and tried to hide.
Normally, running unarmed at a military base would be a horrible idea. Fortunately, there were no guards posted at Fort Spencer for the moment. It was bingo night at the mess hall, and all the able-bodied recruits were needed to ensure the event ran smoothly as possible.
When Frida and Joe reached the gate, both hit with their shoulders. The gate swung open, and the two fell on the ground. Neither had expected the gate to be unlocked, but neither were the type to contemplate. The two nodded at each other and agreed to split up.
Joe opened the door to the first bunker he saw and found the barracks of the fresh soldiers. An uncharitable interpretation would be to refer to it as the servant quarters. It was filled with bunk beds. Before each bunk bed was a trunk to be split by the inhabitants. In the back corner, a bucket was stationed in case anyone had to relieve themselves. Joe began vandalizing the squalid conditions. He tossed the bucket around the room and tore up sheets. Trunks were knocked over.
When Joe was done, he went to the next bunker, this belonged to an officer. Officers either had a roommate or a suite to themselves. They had indoor plumbing, a kitchenette, a large bed, and a private library. Jim made quick work of all of them. Jim moved through the houses like a tornado destroying all in his path.
Frida kicked down the door to the mess hall. Everyone inside was drunk and singing Happy Birthday off-key in a bad chorus line. Frida smiled and joined them. She forgot about her mission and enjoyed the revelry. A few of the new soldiers recognized her as an outsider, but they didn't care. They weren't paid enough to care. Eventually, Frida accidentally hit a drunken officer. She laughed with the officer until he punched her in the face. Frida retaliated by breaking a glass on his head. A brawl broke out that consumed the mess hall.
Polly walked in behind the two and surveyed the carnage. She shook her head. "Those idiots." She searched for a radio tower and walked towards it. When she reached the door, she realized that she couldn't pick the lock. She wished Jim or Frida was here so she they could break it down. With little concern, she decided to try the knob anyway. It opened without resistance. She smiled and assumed the hard part was over.
Unfortunately, she didn't realize the complications and technology required to operate a largescale communication network. The back wall was a giant machine filled with knobs, switches, and meters with a microphone in the middle. Polly walked to it and found a large button labeled "Broadcast." She found another knob labeled distance and turned it to the maximum setting. A nearby speaker played a static noise. Polly adjusted the controls until it went away. Then, she pressed and spoke into the microphone.
"Hey everyone come to Pacifico City. It's the best beach town in the world. You will find all of your relaxing needs there. Once again, come to Pacifico City. Where fun goes to rest." Polly stepped away proud of herself.
Outside, she discovered that every barrack had been lit on fire. Jim emerged from the blaze of one building with a somber look on his face.
"It's done." He uttered. The mess hall doors opened, and Frida flew outside head first.
"Wow, that was fun," Frida said. Polly looked down at them.
"While you two were goofing off, I had to do everything," Polly sighed, "Let's go home."
"They shall not rise again," Jim said as he followed her.
"Where fun goes to rest is a terrible tagline," Reid said. He and Olivia were preparing for the guests while Alex stood away from them watching.
"I agree. It sounds like a total fun killer. We really do have to hold her hand and do everything," Olivia replied.
"I am impressed that she got on the radio." Reid looked at the small machine. "I assumed she would blow up before establishing a connection."
"It's not that impressive. I assume she just connected to us which she doesn't need," Olivia said.
"That's not true," Alex said. Polly and Reid looked at him.
"What does that mean?" Reid said.
"That's my uncle's military radio set. It's old and can only pick up really strong signals from the proper channels. If we heard her, the entire military heard her," Alex said.
"Well, that's good advertising," Reid said, "I am shocked she got anyone to agree to let her to advertise."
"We both know she didn't. Frida and Jim barged in, and she pressed a button. She'll claim all the credit surely," Olivia said.
"That's true." Reid and Olivia went back to work until Reid stopped. "Wait, that means she broke onto a base."
"Presumably."
"And there was a lot of collateral damage."
"That's Frida and Jim's favorite kind of damage."
"And she broadcasted our location to everyone," Reid said. Olivia froze in terror.
"Oh god, we're doomed."
AstroRideWrites

Continuing…
I figured that if I could re-seat the pump head, I could tighten up the metal-to-metal seal, kill the fire and get it back in production in one fell swoop.
So, that was the plan.
I beat and bashed that flange with the 18 pound sledge and though there were some creditable chips flying, the seal remained just tantalizingly out of alignment.
I did have a load of necessary explosives, but with this job, cooler heads needed to prevail.
I did, instead, use a logging chain to connect the pump jack to the back bumper of my truck.
A few high speed runs, a lot of swearing and just a few more tappy-taps with the sledge.
Roughly an hour and a half later, the pump jack was seated, sealed and back in production.
After resetting them, I ran some barbed-wire around the four posts that the mower had also knocked down. San Juan Gas Well 12-78B was well and good back in production.
Funny. I said it took me about an hour, plus or minus, and I showed up at the County Fairgrounds just 2 hours after I left the house; but I’d still be billing all concerned for 12 hours plus parts.
I don’t kid around when I say that emergencies get triple billed.
Plus, it looked like it might rain.
Somewhere in the county.
So, they get billed for inclement weather service.
After the call for Es’ car insurance, I’m going to have to hire the county mower dude to knock over a few wells a month just to pay her premiums…
Anyways.
Back at the fairgrounds and I’m shocked and amazed to see what the crew has done in my absence.
The place looks like it’s ready to go...the ballpark has been repainted, renovated and brought into the 21st century. The parking areas were freshly bladed and painted. The Porta-San farm was off to one side and gleaming. The beer garden, ticket booths, first aid station, everything done according to plan.
I was very wary. Certainly things like this are unable to go on without at least one major fuck-up.
But, no!
So, we got to the point of the pre-opening day dry-run.
There’s an enormous amount of work yet to do: basically, there’s games, food court, baseball diamond and park, bingo field, Porto-san farm, beer garden, parking lots, entrance gate, ticket takers and hand stampers, ticket sales, first aid, shuttle busses, security, and carnival rides.
Some of this is sub-let out, such as the carnival rides, food court and loo farm, but the rest are our creations and needed manning for the two days we’ll be open. Plus, there was one additional ride that no one would have guessed. That appears tomorrow just as the park opens.
Anyways, in the main office, I call a general meeting and we begin to, for the lack of a better term, ‘storyboard’ the park, timings and operations.
Tickets are a dollar, US currency only. We get loads of Mexican pesos and even a few Canadian loonies and toonies, but I have no desire to worry about international exchange rates. We determine that all attractions will run in ‘whole dollar’ units; i.e., a beer will be USD$2/16 oz. Games are set by the owner, but usually ‘x attempts/dollar’. Entrance fees will be set at children 0-4: free, 5-13: $1, 14-18: $2, adults: $3. Must have hand stamped to return. It’s free and multiple-entry, but will change daily.
The entrance to the ball games is free. Food, beverages and such prices are determined by the vendor.
You get the general idea. I’ll not describe every activity/cost, but I’m sure you all have been to a county or state fair and that’s the general model we chose to follow.
Inside the cyclone fence, we’re not longer a democracy, but a dictatorship. What we say, goes. We have the rules of the house printed up on 4’ x 8’ plywood sheets and distributed around the park in strategic areas; particularly at the front gate. Nothing too onerous, other than if you displease us, we have the authority to toss you out of the park, ban you, trespass you, forbid your re-entry or hold you for the local constabulary.
In other words, have fun, but we don’t suffer fools lightly.
Also, no firearms. This state is concealed carry, but we’ve checked with the local law dogs and we can forbid them. I’m still toting a 10mm, but I write the rules, so you know how that goes.
Just in case.
Also, no fireworks, explosives or other detonating/deflagrating nasties. I’m the only one licensed for these items, so just take a load off, have a beer or five and let us do the heavy lifting.
It was a late night when I wearily plopped into the Jacuzzi that night before the grand opening. We’d been so busy building the park and tending to minutiae, that we never supposed it wouldn’t fly.
“What if the place is a bust?” I worried worriedly.
The Keeper reminded me that “Wrong thinking is punishable; right thinking will be as quickly rewarded.”
“Enough with the negative waves, Moriarty.”, I snuffed as Khan unceremoniously capsized me with an over-enthusiastic greeting.
Finally, it was D-Day. I kissed Es goodbye and ignored her protestations that it wasn’t even dawn yet. I made certain I had enough cigars, a change of clothes and my super-secret shoulder holster for my 10mm.
I needed to get to the location early as there was still a bit of dozer work I wanted to finish before the gates opened at 1000.
But first, stop for a thermos of coffee at the local cafe, and well, those Danish look really nice. Just one won’t hurt, I lied to myself.
I was at the park first light and pleased to see more than half the crew (and their families) had arrived. Yes, free park doings for all park employees. Since we’re only open 2 days, one-half worked opening, the other half was slated for closing. However, families were welcome on both days, free admittance.
I mean, hey, we’re not savages.
A couple of the baseball teams had already arrived and were being bussed to their respective arena areas. We had a parking area set aside just for their busses and such, but it was a ways away, so we had shuttle busses laid on just for them.
I liked the modular aspect of the park: the baseball pitch was more or less self-contained with immediate access to the rest of the park. All the food trucks were in the food court, all the merchants were set-up in Merchant’s Alley, a name they chose themselves. The Porto-san farm was off on one side and proved to be placed in the proper orientation for the local winds. The Beer Garden was the first thing you saw once past the entrance gate. 6 lines, little waiting, as 4 were for beer and 2 were for soft drinks. Behind the Beer Garden was Security and First Aid.
Ah, First Aid.
Thanks to a little conniving, cunning and cuteness, we had one of the local hospital’s Medi-Vac helicopters parked just behind and a hundred meters away from our First-Aid station.
I did a couple of demolition jobs for the Chairman of the hospital and he was more than pleased to be strong-armed into loaning out one of his helicopters.
It was good advertising and could prove to be a life saver.
They also had 4 others that were in service to cover our tri-county area so this one wouldn’t be missed unless it was a full-on exchange. So, I think we’ll be OK for a couple of days.
Besides, I could fly the thing in a pinch.
Anyways, we had our early morning meetings and rode around in the golf cart that someone had appropriated from the local links to check in with the merchants, food court operators and others up and working at this ridiculous hour.
Unbelievable as it seems, things were actually humming along in sync and there were no major disasters. I decided to get my dozer work completed before the crowds appeared so I nipped off to the northern edge of the park.
1000 rolled around and I looked to see the car park better than one-third full. Most all workers and sub-contractors parked in the facility lot to the south so that meant that there were actual people things arriving to partake of our little scheme.
No one was more amazed than me.
Many were there for the baseball matches, but many we also strolling around, partaking of the beer garden, the food courts and games of skill much like any other fair. Later that afternoon, there was to be a battle of the bands for local performers which should draw even larger crowds. These would take over the baseball diamond once the games were complete.
We were going to run 3 Bingo games that day. One at 1300 hours, one at 1500 hours and them the big one at 1800 hours. We had no idea how long each game would take, but we figured a couple of hours each. The first two games were conventional Bingo (fill out the word Bingo with your card numbers; first one wins the game). The last, and biggest purse, was “full card”. First full card wins. Depending on the gate take, the prize for that game was 3 times the first two.
Many people were interested in the Burnt Bowling Ball Bingo games and were buying up Bingo cards at the rate of knots. Since I was going to be the Bingo shooter, I enlisted Parker to be the game’s Master of Ceremonies. He was a closet ham and once I shoved a cordless microphone into his hands, he was a natural born Bingo caller.
I was farting around on the dozer, trying to clear a recalcitrant patch of aspens when a couple of kids stood by the cyclone fence and were shouting at me.
“Whaddya want?” I yelled back.
“How much for dozer rides?” one of the rangier kids asked.
“Not a ride.”, I said, “I’m actually doing real work here.”
“Aw, man!”, on of the kids objected, “I always wanted to see what it was like to ride a bulldozer.”
A light bulb went off inside my skull.
“You kids got tickets?” I asked.
“Oh, yeah!”, they shouted in unison and held up long links of tickets in today’s crimson color.
“Just wait a few minutes”, I said to them as I throttled the old dozer down.
Within 15 minutes, we had a gate installed in the cyclone fence, an enclosed table and ticket-taker’s area right out front and a sign with still wet-letters reading: “Dozer Rides: 5 tickets.”
Hell, I don’t mind if the little fart rides shotgun while I tend to some light landscaping. I can even let them run some of the controls for an extra thrill.
And that’s how Dozer Rides became one of the most popular rides at the fair. I’m seriously thinking that we get a hold of some old construction equipment, like a backhoe, wheel loader, walking cat, and such; find an acre or seven that needs a bit of work and charge folks a set price per hour to go out and play with the heavy equipment.
I’d bet that would be a money-making machine. Then I thought of liability and injury laws.
Nah. I’ll stick to detonics and demolition.
“$20 to set and detonate a stick of dynamite. Nitro Extra.”
Anyways.
It was about noon as I sipped a cold local libation and walked around the fairgrounds. One baseball game had concluded (the home team lost) and another was gearing up. The food court was bustling and the merchants, of everything from CDB oil to rain gutters, were doing a brisk business.
“Hellfire and dalmatians”, I thought to myself, “It looks like this is actually going to work.”
The crowd ranged from kids in strollers to geriatrics in their Electroscoots. Everyone seemed to be having a good time, and with the Rig Pig’s security presence, there was not a note of dissension to be heard. Everyone behaved themselves and was having a good time.
One o’clock rolled around and we began the first bingo game. B-6 was the first number to be called and Parker was having a good time hamming it up as he called the numbers, I was taking in a good amount of currency when people thought they could aim better them me, and the ball hustlers out in the field learned quickly to avoid incoming balls and yet were right on top when the ball impacted.
The first game lasted about an hour and a half. The purse for the first game was $750, and the little old lady that won was over the moon when we confirmed her card was indeed the winner.
Another half hour, and game 2 of the day would begin. The purse here was $1,250. We almost ran out of Bingo cards, but Father Rivera of the local Catholic Church helped us out by ‘loaning’ us 5 gross more. I was on the phone with the printers ordering a rush job for tomorrow of another 10 gross.
The printers both hated and loved us.
The crowds waxed and waned and before the third game of the day (The BIG Game), but about 1730, the lost were filling rapidly and the shuttle busses making runs every 10 minutes.
The purse for the day’s last game, based on our take for the day overall and my donation of all Dozer Ride funds, was $7,500.
That ain’t chicken feed and it was even broadcast over the local radio. Suddenly, we went from sparsely populated to fucking inundated.
The game kicked off precisely at 1800 hours. I was having a grand old time, really getting into the spirit of the event. Parker was getting very happy being so close to the Beer Garden and was really a natural-born comedian and game caller. He stuck in some local stories, that if the Beer Garden hadn’t been open so long probably would have resulted in fisticuffs.
But, it was all in good fun.
And the bloody game took almost 3 hours. I looked like an 18th century chimney sweep and Parker had almost gone hoarse. Finally, someone filled the card, had it verified and was awarded the comically huge check.
Come 2145, it was time for the evening’s fireworks finale.
“When the fireworks are done, you don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here.”
“Beer Garden open for another 10 minutes, after that, it’s closed for the evening.”
We had a Mayan-style pyramid of empty beer barrels out back of the Beer Garden. Their shiny silver skins reflected the fireworks grandly. Got to hand it to the Mexican pyrotechnicians, they made great fireworks. Not a single misfire or dud and the last one, a horribly expensive 18” shell, was everything they said it would be, and more.
Triggering every car alarm in the parking lot just seemed like the perfect end to a long, though fun and profitable, day.
Plus, the best part?
I get to do it all over again tomorrow.
I’m old and tired. I got in my truck and headed home. I’m going to try this “diversify and delegate” business. Let someone else handle what needs to be done tonight.
Garbage detail.
Beer delivery and empties return.
Food service.
Economics. Profit and loss. Tallies.
Security.
ad infinitum.
I kissed Khan goodnight, mussed Es’ hair and collapsed into a well deserved coma. I had the strangest dreams that something just wasn’t quite right…
Up with the chickens the next day and I decided I might as well just wear what I wore yesterday. I was going to smell like a diesel mechanic and pyrotechnics operator again anyways.
After an impromptu shower and a new set of duds, thanks to Es’ insistence, I pulled out the first cigar of the day and lit it while traveling to the fairgrounds.
Deja vu all over again.
I parked my truck and wandered over to the office. Security buzzed me in and relieved me of a few of my nicer cigars.
Parker greeted me with a fresh coffee, an ashtray and a huge smile.
“OK”, I said between sips of Kona’s best, “What’s the secret?”
“Well”, he grinned, “Even with paying off everyone, we still cleared enough to finalize the bowling alley”.
“Even after our charitable contributions?” I asked.
“Oh, yeah”, he smiled. “Today’s gonna be lagniappe”.
“Does that include payment to your silent partner?” I asked.
He handed me a green tally book.
“Damn.” I said slowly, looking at the numbers. “Even with over $10k in prize money, we still made enough…”
“Yep”, Parker beamed. “’Bowling Ball Bingo’. Sheesh. Who would have thought…?”
“And the Beer Garden’s just opened.”, I smiled, “C’mon, I’ll buy you some liquid breakfast.”
We had several, as the morning was still young and we deserved it.
I had the guys take over the Dozer Ride, and they had a great time building fortresses out of old timber and river cobbles. They had better times destroying them, especially to the whoops and hollers of the kids riding with them.
I spent an hour or so getting the fireworks set for the opening and closing ceremonies. It was Sunday, so I waited until 1030 before setting off the official “We’re open for business” volleys.
However, today was quiet. It was dead compared to the previous day.
Parker began to fret. “What if everyone came yesterday and no one shows today?”
I stood by, lit a cigar, and pondered.
Then Hector and Zach wandered up.
“Senor”, Hector said, “What is today?”
“Sunday”, Parker and I replied.
“And what do many people do on a Sunday morning?” He asked.
“Recover from a hangover?” I offered.
“Get the wife to… ah, make breakfast?”, Parker added.
Hector and Zach just closed their eyes and shook their heads.
“How about ‘Go to church’?” they both asked in unison.
“Of course”, we said. “How could we forget?”
“Enjoy the quiet”, Zach said, “Because when services are over, I’ll bet you a Benjamin there’s going to be traffic jams in the parking lot and a rush on the gate.”
“What makes you think so?” I asked.
“The prize for the final Bingo game got leaked.”, Hector said, “These people would walk over you for $20k.”
“How did this get leaked?” I was going to ask, but didn’t.
“Um”, I said, thinking out loud, “Man your battle stations. It’s going to get messy around here in an hour or so…”
The battle I lines were drawn and everyone was at their post one and one half hours later.
The two nearest lots filled within 30 minutes. The two auxiliary lots took the overflow, but threatened to burst. Luckily, the shuttle busses were operating in fine form.
“Looks like I owe Zach a hundred”, I said to no one in particular.
Parker grinned like the cat that had eaten the canary. “You’ll never miss it after today.”
The first game, with a purse of $1,000, went off without a hitch.
The second game of the day, worth $2k, went off fine. We had to call in breweries from southern Colorado as we had basically drank this part of the Southwest dry over the last couple of days.
Food trucks were coming dangerously close to running out of food. The gamesters of the fairway were getting down to their bottom of the barrel prizes. I finally shut down the Dozer Ride as the old girl needed a well deserved rest.
Then it was time for the announcement.
“Full Card Bingo will commence in 15 minutes. First prize: $20,000. Card sales end in 10 minutes.”
People bought cards like they were dinner portions on Jakoo. Some had over 100 cards each, which proved to be a logistical nightmare if there was even a slight breeze. But, buy them they did and we finally ran out of cards only 5 minutes before we closed down sales.
I had the full team helping me on this last game. We’d rotate running and calling with loading and firing. It proved to be a long night, well until 2145 before we had someone call “BINGO!”.
They didn’t have the full card, and were freaking out when Security arrived and calmed them. We once again explained the rules and if everyone still agreed, we’d continue.
We did. They did and we had another potential winner after only 3 more shots.
This time, the card was correct.
Never before was there more whoops, hollers and groans then when Parker announced that we had a big winner.
The winner’s grin was only matched by the size of the comically outsized award check.
The band struck up a spiffy little number and there was one final rush on the Beer Garden. Luckily, I had foreseen this eventuality and sent the guys, in secret, to procure us a few of the locally brewed fermented malt beverages before all the hoo-ha.
There were toasts and draughts, as I let my minions run the fireworks finale for the evening. I was right on deck if something went awry, but I’d tested and galved the set-up several times so I knew nothing would go haywire.
A sincere thank you to all that made it this far, and the final firework of the night zoomed skyward.
Sure, it cost around US$2,500, but it was one of the loudest and most amazing thrice-color changing, lightning bolt and bloom fireworks I’ve ever seen.
The applause by the remaining crowd indicated they appreciated it as well.
And then, it was done.
I did my needful, said goodnight to all and remembered to tell everyone to be at the post-show meeting tomorrow morning, around 1100.
We were all pooped and needed some time to recuperate.
The next day, everyone assembled as per orders.
Parker was grinning in that most disconcerting manner of his. Either it was good news or he had set a new record for homicide. It was hard to tell which.
First off, thanks to everyone and disbursement of the employment checks, all with healthy bonuses.
Then, there was the matter of disbursal of funds to various charities. Healthy disbursal.
Finally, an overall profits and loss announcement.
We’d made enough to cover all investors, with a nice little 5.5% addition. All vendors and participants had been collected or disbursed. The new bowling alley was totally funded, even with a 10% slop JIC (just in case).
We were also slated for the local news as both TV and newspaper wanted interviews.
Parker handled that. I passed as I needed to load up the dozer and figure out what to do with four bowling ball cannons.
I was able to home the cannons in the yard of National Oilfield Services, as they owed me. The dozer is back in it’s shed at home, and I am watching the sun set as Es, Khan and I relax in the hot tub.
“So”, Es started, “You call this retirement? I have seen you for more than 10 minutes at a stretch for weeks.”
“Very true, m’dear”, I replied, “But it was all for good causes”.
“Yes, I agree”, she said, “But you can’t continue like this. You even found time to knock out a well fire that I didn’t even hear about until it was over and done.”
“Guilty as charged”, I said, “But, I am slowing it down. I can’t just stop and whang it into reverse.”
“But you are going to take some time off”, Es demanded, “I insist.”
“OK”, I replied and handed here an envelope.
“What’s this?” she asked.
“Your cut”, I replied.
In the envelope were two tickets for First Class state rooms aboard the Viking cruise line for the “Grand European Sojourn”, 18 days down the Danube River. Something Es has always wanted to do.
“And the dates are open. Just choose when and we’ll go”. I noted.
I haven’t heard such a school-girly “Squee!” in decades.
Little did I realize that I now needed a tux and Es needed a new travel wardrobe.
All this and I get to wear a penguin suit.
Life, I swear, sometimes….

Roll…roll…roll…
KER-SMASH!
“Good one, Rock. One more and you’ve got yourself a turkey.” Parker Markle, owner of the bowling establishment, noted.
“Thanks, Parker”, I said, thankfully accepting another longneck, “You still going on with your renovations here?”
“Damn straight!”, he replied, “I’ve got me investors, I’ve got me plans, and I’ve even got me real building permits this time…”
Two weeks later, we’re standing out in front of Parker’s still smoldering bowling alley and Parker is on the verge of tears.
“God damn shame”, I said, trying to commiserate my friend.
“Fucking squatters. Can’t even start on the renovations without these bastards…We chuck’em out of your place and the fuckers burn the place down. Hear from the local constabulary yet?”
“Yeah”, he snuffs, “Fucker’s ain’t got a hard dollar among them; nor two cents in their heads. Sure, I can sue, but to what purpose? Look at the place. I had my investors…I had plans…I’m well and truly fucked, Rock.”
“How much you out? “I asked, “How much you need to rebuild and remodel?”
“Oh, fuck me”, Parker trembled, “At least $55-60 thou. Where the fuck am I supposed to come up with that sort of scratch?”
Ker-ching!
I chucked my empty into the bin.
SPANG!
Parker immediately, without asking, dips into the ever-present cooler and hands me an icy-cold one.
In return, I hand Parker my business Rhodium American Express card.
“What’s this?”, he asks.
“It’s my entry into the world of keggeling and conspicuous consumer consumption” I chuckled.
“What the fuck?”, Parker asked, brow furrowed like the early spring marijuana fields hereabouts.
“Use it to order your needful things”, I said, “I’ve got way more than 60 thou free on the card. I mean, let’s not go nuts…”
“You mean?” He asked, quizzically.
“Yep.”, I replied, “Your wishes have been answered…sort of.
Parker looks at me with wide, wondering eyes.
“I’m your god-damned partner.” I smiled as I lit a huge Oscuro cigar; channeling Marion Ravenwood.
“Oh, fuck”, Parker suddenly breaks into a mile-wide smile. “We’re going to be the first bowling alley to have a walk-in humidor, aren’t we?”
“Fuckin-A, Bubba.”, I chuckle, “Plus a Class-A liquor license. Enough of this Class-B slinging beer for bucks bullshit, we’re going to have us a real tavern here on the green…”
“Let me get my plans”, Parker laughs, “I never thought of going the Class-A direction.”
“We’re going to serve more than pre-nuked wings and slate-board pizza.” I said, “We’re going to have 75 lanes, a full-service tavern, walk-in humidor, 80s arcade, and real fucking food. I remember you going on and on about it before the fire. Well, I haven’t forgotten what you’re dreaming about, so fuck it, let’s just do it.”
“It might go a bit past 60 large”, Parker said, slightly uncertainly.
“Let’s just keep it under 100k and for the love of grog, don’t say anything to Esme…”, I pleaded with Parker.
“I’ll do my best”, Parker said, as a manly handshake ensued.
“This could be the start of a beautiful friendship” I nattered.
Between my American Express card and Parker’s insurance pay out, we’ve got more than enough to start selecting contractors and hire us a security team. We’ve had the plans drawn up, had all the blueprints drafted, reviewed and OK’ed by the various governmental departments.
We are ready to tear down what remains of the old place, groom the land, and begin our re-build.
But first, there’s this little problem neither of us had foreseen.
What the fuck are we going to do with over 1,500 scorched pins and 800 or so blistered bowling balls?
We’ve already ordered all new pinsetters, pins and balls; so, what to do with all the leftovers…?
What to do?
What to do?
Of course! We hold a pre-opening carnival and sell tickets to a bowling ball mortar game.
No shit! Carve out a big-ass target out in some field, and fire bowling ball mortars. The closest ticket to where the ball lands wins.
We can worry about the details later.
First, I need to gin-up a set of bowling ball mortars. We’re going to introduce the southwest to Bowling Ball Bingo!
Hell. We’ll make it a huge pre-opening event: bowling ball punt guns, food trucks, local music, games of skill, food trailers, local brewery participation, drinking and merry making.
Still going to need some bowling ball cannons.
But first, we’ll need a place to hold the festivities.
No worries.
Y’see. I know this guy…
Now, in town, there’s been a lot of building. In fact, it looks overly developed.
However, go outside of town a couple of miles, and it’s heavily rural, fallow, and all agrarian.
Then there happens to be an old Junior League baseball diamond that’s been closed for years and in an advanced stage of neglect and derelictitis. However, it’s right off the main exit highway and nestled up closely to the San Juan River. Loads and loads of area to expand and have a nice little festivity.
I know the owner, the venerable ol’ bean Gilberto Cabrera.
So, I load up with beer and cigars and drive over to see Gilberto.
He’s outside his one-up, two-down, three across shotgun shack, sipping warm Modeles and cursing every aspect of life he’s currently been assigned.
I roll up and Gilberto instinctively reaches for his trusty double-barreled Ruger, gauge of 12.
“Whoa!”, I shout. “Just me, Gil. Kindly ol’ Doctor Rock.”
“What the fuck do you want?”, he growls.
“Hey!”, I yell, “Use low tones, or you can’t have any of the goodies I brought back from Canada.”
He props the shotgun over in a corner and being the avaricious old bastard he normally is, he bids me over to the porch to have a rag-chew and he a rifle of my truck’s built-in humidor.
I wander up and present him some pure maple syrup, fresh from Walmart, a half dozen cigars and a cold 12 pack of straight from the land of sky-blue waters, Hamm’s (“The beer refreshing”).
We sit and catch up with each other. He’s an old widower and never had time for kids, so he’s grateful to have someone at least approximately his age to rabbit on with. He’s either 70 or 125, or somewhere in between.
It’s hard to tell with some of these old, wrinkly types.
Anyways, I broach the subject of ‘borrowing’ his land in and adjacent to the old ballpark.
“What fer?” He asks.
“Well,” I reply between sips of some recently obtained Kentucky Firewater, “Parker Markle and I are partners in a new rebuild of his bowling alley, which the squatters burned to a crisp once we got the local fuzz to chuck’em out.”
“Aye?”, he scowls, “Bastards. What does that have to do with me?”
“We decided to hold an impromptu festival, a couple of days, for grand re-opening, where we’d get some folk in to cater the event, with music, maybe some carnival-type rides, local food trucks and trailers, petting zoo for the kids, maybe a pick-up softball game or two and (saving the best for last) Bowling Ball Bingo.”
“What the hell’s that last one?” He wondered.
“Well, we’ve got nearly 1,000 old and slightly scorched bowling balls from the fire. Parker’s got new stock coming in with the insurance money. So, what better way to dispose of old bowling balls by building a couple of cannons, firing the balls skyward and have them fall on some prepared ground? The ground with have a checkerboard of letters and numbers, and instead of popping up little balls at the local Catholic Church, we use bowling ball cannons to choose?”
“Gil looks at me and scoffs, “Y’know, it’s not been really too quiet around here since you moved in. I know you’re a Master Blaster, but what do you really do?”
“Nothing too exciting,” I snicker, “I just snuff oil and gas well fires.”
“Hrumph”, he snorts, “No wonder it’s like the Fourth of July hereabouts every weekend.”
“A man’s gotta stay in practice”, I chuckle back.
We both have a snort and I produce new cigars. We spend the next few hours drafting up an agreement where we can use his land to hold the festival.
But the land and facilities are in a sad state of repair.
So, I promise to fix it up if he loans it to us for pre-opening weekend.
OK, but the facilities need paint, weed removal, blading for parking, Porta Johns, marking of parking areas, etc.
I tell Gil that’s fine. We’ll do all the work necessary to get his 40-acre donation ready for the big weekend. I also agreed to cede the finished area over to the Junior League baseball concern when we’re finished. As well as give the Jr. League 5% of the take, as the area is impoverished and any little help would be smiled upon greatly.
Gil also wants a nice, little honorarium to the tune of 5% of the gate.
“Sorry, Gil”, I replied, “But that’s a NCD (No Can Do). But I’ll let you sit in the security shack and keep an eye on the gate and warn about any potential trouble”.
He seemed less than amused.
“The gate will be right next to the beer garden and I could arrange it so that you could receive free beer in exchange for your time and sharp eye.” I noted.
The ink on the agreement wasn’t yet dry when Gil stated calling for his free beer.
“In a couple weeks, Gil”, I said, handing him a 12-pack of Blatz. “This’ll hold you until then.
He was deliriously happy. Free beer. Free cigars. A minuscule dose of power over his neighbors.
“Today is going to be a long day”, I noted to myself as I pulled out of Gil’s driveway.
First order of business was getting my old D-6 Caterpillar Dozer up and running. However, it needs some work.
I’ve got an idea, but the more it fleshed out, the more I felt like Hawkeye Pierce trying to get a new pair of boots from the Army.
I think I can nuke several birds with one stone: A trip to see Clay Smith about pipe for four bowling ball cannons.
I’ve known Clay for years and he’s one of the reasons we’ve settled in the area. He runs a fabricating/machine shop and that means I don’t need to buy an outbuilding to build my own metal shop.
After the obligatory handshakes, beers and cigars, we get down to brass tacks.
Well, CRA monel steel actually.
Found some 12.000" OD {A} x 8.600" ID {B} x 3.400" Wall {C} DOM Steel CRA casing, actually from the US Navy and once was part of a battleship’s complement; unknown which boat was the donor.
Perfect for 4 cannons.
CRA refers Corrosion Resistant Alloy; special pipe composited by two different materials including inner pipe and outer pipe. Inner CRA layer (0.25~26.0mm) normally such as Stainless steel, Duplex, Nickel alloy, Titanium, Hastelloy, Monel, etc., which are suitable for high corrosion environment.
Outer base material could be seamless or welded, SAWL, SAWH, ERW, HFW, or DSAW carbon steel pipe. The carbon steel substrate provides the required strength and the CRA cladding/lining provides the adequate corrosion resistance to the product being transported. The dissimilar metals that are present through the thickness of the pipe wall bring certain challenges to welding of clad/lined pipes, because welding of such pipes is usually carried out from the outside, using a single-sided welding technique
Clay needs some welding consumables, and will cut and polish the pipe for me if I find him a special CRA cutter-welder.
So, off to see Madden Martin at his welding shop.
“Madden, I need to borrow your CRA welder.” I notify him.
“Sure, what for?”, he asks.
“I’m building bowling ball cannons.” I replied.
“Oh. OK”, retorts Madden, thoroughly nonplussed with the day’s turn of events.
Sure, I can borrow the welder, all I need is to get him some good Wisconsin beer.
After a trip to the house, Madden loads the CRA welder into my truck after he offloads 2 cases of Blatz Light Cream Ale, 2 Cases of Leinenkugel’s, 2 cases of Point (“When you’re out of Point, you’re out of town”) and 2 cases of Spotted Cow from New Glarus.
I drop off the cutting welder to Clay and Javan Elliott, his second in command. We sit and chew the rag for a while, as his minions, of which he has thousands it seems, do the needful.
With the flick of the forklift, they load the 4 cut sections of the bowling ball punt guns in my truck.
Back to see Madden and we discuss his “kids” (apprentices) that are going to be helping me make the bowling ball cannons.
All it cost me was another couple of cases of beer and a box of ridiculously expensive cigars.
There are 6 “kids”:
2 Native American (Navajo): Shizhe'E (Navajo), Atsidi (Navajo),
2 Hispanic (by way of Old Mexico): Hector Manzanares, Richardo Sanchez (really) and,
A pair of local Heinz-57 variety Norteamericanos: Zachary Gibson and Alfie Walsh.
They all spoke passable English, and with my intense Oilfield Spanish, we could still communicate.
First, came the really dirty work. The pipe sections needed to be swaged, that is, drifted to see if they were the proper dimensions.
Any underage had to be filled with weld and then ground to specs. Any overages had to be ground down to specs.
This steel is about a 65-68 Rockwell hardness.
FYI: Rockwell hardness refers to how resistant a metal object is to penetration and permanent deformation from another material. It’s a measuring system of non-destructive metallurgical testing that determines how hard and strong steel truly is.
Truth is, it’s tougher than hammered nails. Way tougher, more like high-speed steel in circular form. However, it’s great for lateral compression and tension resistance, but prone to quench cracking. Quench cracks result from stresses produced during the transition from austenite to martensite, which involves an increase in volume. The martensitic transformation starts at the outermost surfaces of the part being quenched.
In other words, when there’s a phase change in the steel, it must be tempered or annealed slowly. So, a temperature shift greater than 300C must be done slowly or the metal cracks like an old soft-boiled eggshell.
I spent the rest of the day designing the cannons, and once that was done, explaining the blueprint to the gang of 6. They listened intently, asked non-stupid questions and generally came to impress me with the knowledge and work ethic.
The next day, I dropped back over to Madden’s and viewed the finished products.
They built the cannons beautifully. I checked them over and they were in specs every single measurement. They had acid-dipped them to get rid of the mill scale and then, went ahead and laid out the jobs.
It seems trivial, but many, even older hands, will do that in the opposite order. Here’s how errors creep in and begin to multiply.
I swaged each bore with a bowling ball I’d liberated from the old alley and it snugged into each like a Joey snugs into Mamma Roo.
I figured I could use these guys to help renovate the ballpark. I ask Madden if I can poach them for the duration of the build.
Madden readily agrees.
As long as they’re OK with a new boss and I’ll pay their way:

1. Beer.
3. Cigars.
5. $350/day.
6. Plus, I needed to teach them the basics of detonics.

Since this was Friday, I paid up for their day’s work and told them to meet me, bright and early (~0800) at the ballpark.
Six voices, in unison and several languages, agreed they’d be there with bells on.
That, I thought, would be interesting to see…
Saturday morning; I had my boon friend, Cat-skinner and all-around good guy, William “Kit” Carson come to the house and help me maneuver the old Cat 6 onto its trailer.
The beast is an old 1977 D6D model, with 140 original horsepower. The D6 is a versatile machine that can be used for a variety of tasks. It is commonly used in construction, mining, and agricultural applications. It is a great choice for clearing land, grading, and road building. It can also be used for digging and pushing materials, as well as for light demolition work. The machine is capable of pushing large loads and can handle most types of terrain.
I took it in trade for a job I did leveling out an old, abandoned limestone quarry that the owner was standing to lose via fines some ~US$50,000/day. He procrastinated and postponed, but did none of the US Government required remediation to the old rip-rap quarry once he finally wrung every peso out of that old hole.
It cost me a few cases of dynamite, a shitload of ANFO, a water well rig and a number of shotholes; but once we were finished, the place resembled a Kmart parking lot rather than the dark side of the moon.
But he didn’t have the cash to pay me and my crew, so I took his old D6 to hold while he generated some cash flow.
He died intestate some 14 months later. I submitted my bills to his estate and they basically said to keep the Cat, they’d sent the proper documents for title transfer, and we’d all call it a day.
So, I had a tinker item. I’d have Kit drop by when I was out of pocket and he could futz with the old girl and see if he could get her up to specs.
We replaced virtually every part on the tractor at one time or another. We stroked and bored the old powerplant and took her from ~140 BHP to around 500. Added a new turbocharger, since now we were residing at over 6,000’ AMSL. New tracks, pinions, trunnions, idlers, ripping hook, roller carrier, ad infinitum. New hoses, clamps, hydraulic cylinders…virtually jacked-up the radiator cap and inserted a new machine underneath.
She still was a cranky old bitch, and had to be kept warm and dry otherwise she’d sit and spit, sputter and smoke.
Yes, we were kindred spirits.
We teased her up onto the trailer and I backed my truck into the drive to hook-up. Luckily, the ballpark was less than 3 miles distant, as even my heavy-duty dualie truck was near it’s limit when it came to towing as the dozer tipped the Toledos at just over 37k pounds.
We all met over at the park and I immediately laid out an impromptu office on the hood of my truck. I had topo maps, aerial photos of the park, and after covering the maps over in vellum, I dragged out my drafting gear and started to sketch dimensions, and where things were going to go.
Kit had backed the dozer off the trailer and I battened everything down with old oil company map magnets and pulled my rig out of the way. I chose a spot under a copse of old-growth elms and live oak. The elms were afflicted with Dutch Elm Disease and the oaks had nasty cases of Live Oak Decline.
They were going to be removed and burned as per NOAA and BLM and half a dozen other alphabetic soup governmental agencies.
Besides, this is where the bingo board was to go.
Kit spent the best part of the day keeping the Cat running and training all of our international proteges. We took frequent breaks to go and rescue the Cat when Ricardo forget where the brake was and damn near drove into the Lower San Juan River or to ensure my charges were staying well hydrated.
The beer was locked in a cooler for when the drinking light was lit after 1700 hours.
Between them taking turns on learning how to speak “Cat”, Kit and the others often came by with ideas, comments and flat-out ridicule for how I was designing the park. Often, this required the liberation of some of my prime cigars.
Parker dropped by and informed me he had lined up 12 local food trucks for the two days, so we’d need parking, Porta Johns, running water and power for these guys.
“Fine”, I replied, “We now have a food court.”
“And well need parking”, Kit noted.
“How many cars at once? “, I asked.
“Best make it a thou”, He replied.
“Hmm…”, I hmm’ed. “The average car is a bit under 7′, but if you are driving them in, you need to park them far enough apart to allow exit on the driver’s side. So, allow 10′ width per car.
The average length is just under 15′. You can certainly park them close enough to allow 18′ per car, for backing and pulling out purposes.
While each acre of land contains 43,560 square feet, a simple mathematical computation shows if each parking space requires 180 square feet, 1 acre of land would accommodate 242 parking spaces. Of course, this assumes no turning lanes and each parking space is right next to each other. If a field that is 180 feet by 242 feet (approximately 1 acre) is designed with six rows of parking spaces with each parking space being approximately 10 feet by 18 feet and the traffic lanes are 24 feet wide, approximately 150 spaces can be designed. Therefore, there are three pairs of parking rows, each containing 48 spaces. The one-way traffic lanes are 12 feet wide and the two-way traffic lanes are 18 feet wide.”
“OK, I said aloud, “It looks like for a thousand cars at once, we’ll need about 7 acres. No problem. We’ve got nothing but space out here.”
“Problem”, Atsidi cautioned, “7 acres represent a long walk. Come in late and too far to drag the kids.”
“OK, clever dick”, I replied, “You and Shizhe’N are tasked with finding some shuttle buses. 25 or 30 person coaches that can just drive an ellipsoidal track around the parking areas. Let me know when, where and how much.”
“For two days?”, he asked.
“Nahh”, I said, “Let’s get them here a day early for a dry run. 3 days.”
“OK, bossman”, he smiled, “But we’ll need some greenery to grease those wheels…”
I peeled off a series of Benjamins from my wallet and gave them to them along with a register to sign.
“Everything on the up and up.”, I said, “I need receipts for everything. I’m going to keep sharp tabs on how much everything costs. Savvy?”
“Oh, yeah, Rock”, they both smiled, “We savvy goodly.”
“Wise-asses.” I snickered.
After lunch, we all sat around smoking and chatting. There were ideas being bounced all around. Some quite good, some a bit silly and some downright laughable.
To give you a rough idea of the layout, it all centered around the ballpark. It had bleachers, a bullpen, dugouts, rudimentary concession stands. And the ball diamond. The park was originally built for the local Little League, with base paths 70’ and pitching distance 50’. Over the years, it had been revived and now had 90’ base paths and 60.5’ pitching distances.
We decided that a fresh coat of paint would revive the old park and make it look more festive (and real). I reached out to several local businesses, and most bought advertisements on the outfield back fences. They’d supply the either canvas banners or plywood sheets with all the pertinent information about their company. Only cost $50/weekend, and it was tax deductible.
It was tax deductible since Esme pointed out our whole endeavor could be umbrellaed under as per the internal revenue code, a 501(c)3 is a nonprofit organization for religious, charitable, scientific, and educational purposes.
Donations to 501(c)3 are tax-deductible.
That helped grease the skids well and I had the lads out hammering and trying off canvas from the gusty Santa Ana-type winds that swept the area.
I won’t go over each and every event we had set for the park, but between Kit, myself and the guys, we had bladed down to the top Kirtland Shale roughly 8 acres for parking facilities. Kit took a turn and angled the main blade and inserted gutters around each acre of parking to facilitate drainage.
I built a Porta San farm that was close enough to the beer vendors yet far enough from the Food Court to be a convenience to all and a detriment to none. I even got the local Honey Wagon drivers to donate their time for a passel of free entrance and drinks tickets.
We had taken out ads in the local trades and dailies; as well as someone on the Internet built a page for the event.
We had a LOT of interest and actually had to turn away some potential partners as this was only a two-day affair. Evidently, a few groups had tried before, but never more that reviving the Little League and park. We went whole hog and decided it was going to be something with all the flavor of a State Fair, but we decided early on that a petting zoo for the kids was enough. I mean, the state actually still runs a real State Fair.
OK, we had a functional ballpark for Little through Senior League. Even had water piped in for the showers and real toilets, rather than Porta Johns. Along one side of the diamond, closer to the river, was the games and attractions area. A rectangle of ‘ping pong ball in the bowl to win a goldfish, to balloon shooting galleries and guess your weight/age’ type of attractions; along with some very, very sedate rides; carousel, mini-scrambler and a Squirrel Nut Zipper, as I recall.
Along the other side of the diamonds, was the food court. We had now some 18 trucks and trailers committed to the festivities. We were going to have funnel cakes, roast turkey legs, pickle-on-a-stick, some Mexican bakeries with all their delectables and one, oddly enough, all the way from Baja Canada hawking huge, ‘it takes two hands to handle’ cream puffs.
How that last one got wind of our little soiree was going to remain a mystery…
Then there was the entrance with ticket taker-sellers.
Of course, I had put in a specialty tent, with the help of no less than 7 local micro-breweries; a Beer Garden. We decided to just go with a Class B license and avoid all the potential nasties of both glass bottles (we only sold draft beer in Solo cozy-red cups) and high proof liquor.
There were, of course, a battalion of Porta Johns in close proximity to the Beer Garden.
We had a couple of the local oilfield service companies donate a fully functional and kitted out First Aid Station as well as a Security office.
Taking notes from the Chicago 1969 Republican party in Chicago, we put out feelers for large, tough people to enforce security if such was needed.
Thanks to Hector and Rick, we had the local motorcycle club, “The Rig Pigs” volunteer their services as security. These are guys that not only work in the Oil Patch but are also motorcycle aficionados. I know or have gotten to know every one of them, from Roughneck to Toolpusher to Rig Manager.
To be continued…

I know how much Indie and Self Published authors appreciate reviews/ratings so I’m trying to give some attention to books with less than 100 reviews on Goodreads! If anyone grabbed the Kindle Unlimited deal for Mother’s Day almost all of them are available. Feel free to comment any other indie books you’ve read for book bingo!
Square: Entitled Animal
Book: Vick’s Vultures (Union Earth Privateers #1) by Scott Warren Genre: Space Opera, Military Science Fiction
Review: 5/5 This is the first military sci fi I’ve read in a long time and it was great! There were only 150 pages but this book had excellent worldbuilding, characters, and unique space warfare.
Link: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/31299516
Square: Alliterative Title (Hard Mode)
Book: The Extramundane Emancipation of Geela, Evil Sorceress at Large (Geela, Evil Sorceress at Large #1) by Laura Brisbois Genre: Fantasy, Comedic Fantasy
Review: 5/5 Darkos, a priest, and Geela, evil sorceress, were an entertaining pair. I loved the fact that Geela is a 70 year old divorcee who gets to travel around and still have adventures/curse people and terrorize villages.
Link: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/58546843
Square: Published in 2024 (Hard Mode)
Book: I Ran Away to Evil by Mystic Neptune Genre: Romance, Comedic Fantasy, Cozy Fantasy
Review: 3.5/5 I was reminded of books like Dark Lord of Derkholm by Diana Wynn Jones or Dealing With Dragons by Patricia C Wrede. Some small editing issues and extremely short chapters as this was published on Royal Road originally.
Link: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/210360523
Square: Character with a Disability (Hard Mode)
Book: The Bear & The Rose by E K Larson-Burnett Genre: LGBT Romance, Fantasy
Review: 4.5/5 A fantastic Celtic mythology inspired sapphic love story. The prose is so poetic and reminds me of novels by Patricia McKillip. I loved it so much I read it in one day!
Link: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/74966671
Square: Set in a Small Town
The Artificers Apprentice (Small Town Crafter #1) by Tom Watts Genre: LitRPG, Cozy Fantasy, YA
Review: 4/5 Slice of life LitRPG is not a genre I usually read. I wasn’t sure about the RPG elements in a book but thankfully they didn’t get in the way of the story. This book was exactly as advertised, cozy. The residents of Sunhampton were charming and I enjoyed reading about magical crafting.
Link: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/62493348

Some are advertised with really cheap Asian commercials. Being internals of the 80s I’m thinking some sort of China scam what’s up with these?

Can anyone recommend any bingo halls in the greater Sacramento area?

Below you will find a weekly reminder of our Rules and partial FAQ. It's definitely a long read, but it's worth your time, especially if you are new to the community, or dropping by as a result of a link you found elsewhere. We periodically revise our rules, this weekly notice will help keep you informed of any changes made.
NOTE: These rules are guidelines. Some moderation discretion is to be expected.

Community Rules

1. Kindness Matters

Advise, don't criticize.

• Post with empathy, thoughtfulness, and constructive commentary rather than judgment. Don't be an asshole.
• Name-calling, slurs (including gender or race based slurs), and insults towards other community members will not be tolerated. Do not attack others for their personally held values, custody situation, marital status, physical distance from stepkids, or economic status; or on the basis of race, sex, sexual orientation, age, religion, or ethnicity.
• No name-calling toward children, including the above-mentioned insults or the term "skids", or terms such as "mini-wife" or "mini-husband."
• Comments advocating spanking or any mention of wanting to harm children are not allowed.
• This is a support sub, not a judgement sub, assholes are not tolerated. Comments with terms used in other subs to pass judgement on assholes will be removed.

2. No Drama

This is a support sub.

• Bickering, nitpicking, and thread derailment will not be tolerated and will be subject to removal at moderator discretion.
• Do not repeatedly badger a poster demanding answers, or refuse to acknowledge an answer that's already been given.
• Do not use sensitive issues from past posts (either from this sub or other subs) to attack another user, as we are all discussing vulnerable topics.
• Crossposting anything from /stepparents to any other subreddit might result in a ban and may result in the original thread being locked. Brigading our sub will result in an immediate ban.

3. Report, Don’t Rant

No backseat modding.

• If you see someone breaking the rules, report the post or comment to the mods rather than engaging them in an argument. Failure to do so may be subject to comment removal at moderator discretion.
• No meta posts complaining about rude comments, DMs, or general sub issues.
• If you think someone is a troll or previously banned user, either use the report function or message the mods to direct their attention to the issue.

4. No Naming & Shaming

No userpings or links.

• Tagging/pinging users or other subreddits in an attempt to bully, harass, or complain will not be tolerated. Do not tag other subs, ever.
• If you want to complain about another subreddit being hostile to stepparents, do not name the subreddit. "Other parenting/advice/judgement subs" will suffice.

5. No Platitudes

Nobody knew what they were getting into.

• Comments like "You knew what you were getting into", "Love them, love their kids!", "They're a package deal!" and "You have to love them like your own!" will be removed.
• Comments suggesting that OP is not cut out for stepparenting will be removed at moderator discretion.
• Comments like "This is just a part of parenting, deal with it!" will be removed at moderator discretion.

6. No Trolling

We have zero tolerance for trolls.

• This is a support sub. Our subscribers do not have the time, nor inclination, to provide support to internet trolls. Posts that are suspected to be trolling attempts will be immediately removed, and the poster banned.
• Concern trolling, devil's advocating, gish-galloping, sealioning, and general asshattery are subject to immediate removal and banning without warning or notice.
• Any attempt to circumvent the ban by creating a new username will be reported to reddit admins and possibly result in account suspension.

7. No Personally Identifiable Information

Use discretion when posting.

• We highly recommend using a separate account for support subs to help prevent being doxxed. Do not post any information that may allow others to figure out your identity.
• Do not post photos of children, or any other photo that could be used to identify you or another user on the sub.
• Any image that contains a name or other identifying information should have the name or identifying information blurred out. This includes drawings, notes, and screenshots.
• Do not link to social media or any articles/blogs where you or another user on the sub is mentioned by name.

8. No More than 2 Posts per 24 hours

Use the daily threads.

• We are not a huge sub, but we are no longer a small sub. If you have multiple grievances to air, use the daily discussion threads instead of multiple posts.

9. Follow Reddiquette

Remember the human.

• Adhere to the same standards of behavior online that you follow in real life.
• Read it in full here.
• Downvoting is reserved for comments that don’t contribute, and shouldn't be used to indicate disagreement.
• If you believe someone is in violation of the subreddit rules, please either use the report function or message the mods to direct their attention to the issue.
• Suspected brigading will be reported to reddit admins.

10. No Porn, Spam, Blogs, or Research Studies/Surveys Without Mod Approval

Just don't.

• This is a SFW subreddit. Posting pornography will result in immediate post removal and permanent ban.
• Advertising on the subreddit (outside of Reddit's own advertising) is not allowed.
• No personal blog posts are allowed without express moderator permission.
• No advertising without prior mod approval.
• No asking for money/posting fundraisers/etc.
• For links to parenting research studies or surveys, please message the mods for permission before posting.

11. Disputes in Modmail Only

Don't argue with the mods on the sub.

• Any issues specifically related to how a mod is moderating should be addressed to the full moderating team via mod mail. This ensures that all mods are aware of any concerns and prevents disintegration of the topic thread at hand.
• This means to do not message or send chat requests to individual mods. All discussion and complaints about mod actions need to be done in mod mail ONLY. Failure to follow this rule can result in an immediate permanent ban.
• Comments in threads asking about mod decisions are subject to removal without notice.

12. Moderator Actions

We aren't kidding.

• Users are expected to know the rules before posting. If you are warned or banned for violating the rules, ignorance is not an excuse.
• Moderators will remove posts and comments and/or lock threads in accordance with the rules above. Typically this happens when threads have gone off-topic in a way that is not productive for the OP, or comments overall have become contentious or disrespectful.
• If a poster continues to argue or to willfully violate these rules, temporary and permanent ban procedures will be followed. Any attempts to avoid or bypass temporary bans will result in a permanent ban. User bans will not be discussed in the sub. Questions posted about user bans are subject to removal and the poster subject to warning/ban procedures. The mod team will not discuss a specific user ban with anyone other than the user involved.
• New accounts are subject to manual approval until they are no longer deemed "new" by the mod team. This helps to weed out trolls and ban evaders.
• We rely on Automoderator to scan for specific words and phrases that are not welcome here and notify the mod team to review the comment or post. This includes slurs of any type and platitudes such as "Love them as your own!"
• The mod team uses a combination of blacklisting and banning when dealing with trolls.
• We employ the use of a bot that automatically bans anyone who comments in subs that have historically harassed our users. If you are picked up by the bot for telling trolls to get fucked, reach out via mod mail and we'll get you sorted out.
• The rules above as well as ban procedures are considered guidelines only; some deviation may be necessary on a case by case basis and/or at the mod team's discretion.

13. Ban Procedure

These actions are at moderator discretion.

• Pornography will result in an automatic permanent ban.
• Extremely egregious content will result in an immediate permanent ban.
• You may receive a 7 or 30 day temporary ban for first and second rule violations, depending upon severity.
• Continued rule violations will result in a permanent ban.
• Willful attempts to avoid or bypass temporary bans will result in a permanent ban.
• We recognize the reddit site-wide rules of using alt names to get around bans and will ban those as well as report them to reddit admins.

​
​

FAQ - About the Rules

What does Kindness Matters mean?

• Shortest version? Don't be an asshole. People come here for support and advice, they do not come here to be yelled at or told they are the reason everything is going sideways. There are ways to point out that someone may want to do some reflection on their own actions and reactions without being an asshole about it.
• The purpose of this subreddit is to provide support and a sense of belonging for struggling stepparents. We aren't here to pass judgement, but rather to offer support, empathy, and constructive commentary. That does not include "hard truths" or "tough love." Stepparents get enough of that in every other subreddit, we're not passing it out here. Be respectful.
• Remember, most people aren't going to come to a sub like this when everything is going great and everyone is getting along. People are coming here when they are down, when they are feeling defeated and stretched to the limit. Kicking someone when they are down is shitty behavior and we don't tolerate it.

What about being kind to the kids?

• "Won't somebody think of the children?" Pearl clutching isn't needed here. If you read the Kindness Matters rule closely, you will see that there is a clause in there about name calling children. We don't allow it. We also don't allow people rolling in telling OP that they feel sorry for their stepkids because OP is feeling overwhelmed and overloaded.
• If anyone is advocating slapping, spanking, or any other form of violence, report the comment immediately. We do not advocate violence towards children of any sort. The mod team does not advocate any sort of physical punishment at any time.
• Venting about behaviors is not the same as insulting the kids. However, if you see a post or comment where kids are being name called or dragged to the point of no return, use the report button. We try to catch the posts and remove them before they hit the sub, but we cannot see every comment without your help. Use the report button to bring problematic comments to our attention. Don't engage in a war of words on our subreddit.

Why is this sub such an echo chamber?

• Not allowing contributors to pile on and tell OP that they are a terrible human being who should never be around children does not equate to being an echo chamber. Many contributors here will offer OP suggestions to help them work through their resentments and frustrations, and the most egregious situations are called out. We simply ask that it be called out with respect.
• If you feel that a post is simply too much for you to handle without following the rules, move on to another post.
• If you believe that a post itself is crossing the rules report it. If the mod team has approved the post, it is because the mod team believes that the OP needs help from the community or needs a moment to vent and move on from their vent. That does not give you license to pile on disrespectfully. Unless it is proven that OP is a bot, assume that OP is a human being with real thoughts and feelings and has posted from a place of vulnerability.

Why can't I tell OP that they are an asshole?

• Because this isn't a judgement sub. We aren't AITA, we don't want to be AITA.
• Comments with terms like YTA, NTA, ESH, NAH will be removed.
• Don't start your posts with INFO either. We generally recognize that as a fishing attempt for more information to pass judgement on OP, and again, we are not a judgment sub.

But OP asked if they were an asshole?!

• Their post somehow got past our automoderator. Just use the report button. We will address it with OP.
• If you've asked if you are an asshole, a-hole, a*hole, a**hole, whatever, don't be surprised if your post is removed without warning. This isn't a judgment sub. If you want judgment, you know where to go.

What is a gendered slur?

• While it seems that everyone understands what racist slurs are, people struggle understanding the concept of gendered slurs. Generally speaking, we are talking about derogatory nouns or verbs that are used to negatively describe people or situations based on gendered terms.
• We've gone back and forth on this a few times, and the truth is, we get it, it's your safe space and you want to be able to vent about BM/BD how you want to vent about them, without us telling you how to vent about them. Fair enough. Vent away. What we are going to stick to here how people are referring to other users and to stepchildren.
• Examples that are not allowed:
  • "My SD is such a little bitch."
  • "She dresses/acts like a slut."
  • "My SS acts like a pussy."
  • "My SS is such a beta male."
  • "You are all fucking whores."
  • "Any dude who is raising some sluts kids is a cuck!"
  • "Little Lord Fauntleroy over here thinking he runs the house!"
  • "You're just the bangnanny, get used to it."
• Don't call users here names, don't call stepchildren names.
• Masking the term with asterisks or other neat little tricks might get you around the bot, but if we see it, we're removing it and quite possibly giving you a time out. The intended word is still there and you deliberately tried to skate the rule.
• As there is not enough space to list every term that is offensive and does not belong, nor every situation in which term or phrase may be allowable in context, this rule is enforced based on moderator discretion.

Seriously? You are the language police now?

• We're here to talk about stepparenting. And we would like for that to happen in a respectful way. Attacking each other doesn't help. Belittling stepchildren draws in trolls who don't understand your frustration, all they see is an evil stepmonster talking shit on the internet about a poor, innocent baby. Yes, even if that "poor, innocent baby" just robbed you blind and set fire to the house on their way out the door. That's just how it goes.
• We are aware that this is a relatively new rule and a lot of older posts and comments contain a lot of problematic language, including some from mods themselves. We are growing and evolving, and rules change as the sub grows and evolves.

What does No Drama really mean?

• Pretty much what it says, do not bring drama from other subs into this sub. Do not engage in vote brigades. Do not try to incite other subscribers to riot in a different sub. Don't follow posters into this sub from other subs to continue to harass them. Do not badger someone or derail threads. Do not harass community members because you don't agree with them. There's enough drama in the daily lives of subscribers, more isn't needed.

What is thread derailment?

• When a comment chain has devolved to the point where all you are doing is arguing back and forth with someone about the same thing over and over again, you have derailed the thread. Also known as bickering. It's what children do. We assume if people are in a stepparent role they are adults. We expect you to act like it.
• If you aren't a stepparent, or in a stepparenting role, consider that perhaps this subreddit isn't for you. If you want to participate, do so with respect. Thread derailment, arguing, bickering, and nitpicking are not allowed.

But what if they didn't answer my question?

• No one has to answer your questions. This is a support sub, not an inquisition. Jumping on a bandwagon with "OP is evading the question" in a 20 comment long chain is the epitome of thread derailment. You'll find more information about trolling below and how this might be considered such.

Why am I being silenced? I'm just asking for a back and forth!

• Thread derailment, badgering, and nitpicking are considered harassment. Continued harassment of either community members or mods will get you banned.

Why can't I look at someone's post history and comment about it?

• No mod in the history of this sub has ever once said post histories are forbidden. What we do frown upon is using someone's post history to attack, belittle, or otherwise harass someone.
• Example Post: "My stepkid's mom really hates me. How can I make this better?"
  • Okay: "Based on the timeline and your post history, it looks like this may have started as an affair. Unfortunately there's going to be outstanding issues for a long time due to that. Try focusing on yourself and how you can move forward without worrying about how someone else feels about you."
  • Not Okay: "Holy shit! You were the OW! What the hell do you expect, homewrecker?!"
• Example Post: "I am completely overloaded and feeling very down about myself."
  • Okay: "In your post history you mentioned that your spouse wasn't really helping around the house. Has that changed at all?"
  • Not Okay: "LOL, you already got the answers you need in your post on relationships. You are stupid for sticking with your lazy spouse."

Why can't we crosspost stuff to other subs?

• We can't stop you from doing so. The problem isn't that something has been crossposted, it's when the community that it's been crossposted to feels the need to come over here and harass OP. When we see that happening, we lock the post and start passing out bans. If you did the crossposting, you'll be banned. If you participated in the brigading, you'll be banned.

What if it's my own post?

• Again, we can't stop you from doing so. We prefer that you don't technically crosspost, but rather just copy and paste your post. Why? Because inevitably the above will happen. Redditors from other subs will follow you back to /stepparents and start attacking users here. It just happens.

What is "brigading"?

• Reddit defines vote manipulation and brigading as follows:
• Using multiple accounts, voting services, or any other software to increase or decrease vote scores.
• Asking people to vote up or down certain posts, either on Reddit itself or through social networks, messaging, etc. for personal gain.
• Forming or joining a group that votes together, either on a specific post, a user's posts, posts from a domain, etc.
• We, along with pretty much every other subreddit that has ever had to deal with this nonsense, further define brigading as this: You saw a post on another sub that linked to our sub either via a link in a comment or a crosspost. It was basically saying something along the lines of "OMG, check out these assholes over on /stepparents! They literally hate all their stepkids!" And then you and your friends come over and start hammering on OP and telling OP how much they suck. Congrats, you have just participated in a brigade.

What is this whole Report, Don't Rant thing about?

• If you see a post or comment that breaks the rules, instead of engaging, report it. When you report it, it sends notification to the mod team. We will act on it where appropriate. Engaging with bad faith users may result in your comments being removed. If you repeatedly do so, you may end up being banned.

What if I see an obvious troll?

• Report it.

What if they are being really mean in comments?

• Report it.

What if they are harassing me in private messages?

• Step 1: Report them to admins. You can report harassment to reddit by using this link or send a DM to reddit admins. Include the link to the DM, admins can see your inbox and providing a direct link is helpful for them to weed out bad actors.
• Step 2: Block the person so they cannot directly contact you again.
• Step 3: Send us a mod mail and let the mod team know. Tell us who they are and what they said, send us a screenshot if you can - admins can see your DMs, mods can't. We'll take action where necessary by banning from the sub if they aren't already banned.

What do you mean by No Naming & Shaming?

• Just as we prefer to not be linked to or crossposted from, we do not allow linking to or calling out other subs by name. If you see something you want to share, say it's a hot post that has hit the front page and a stepparent is being absolutely flayed, just refer to it as "that hot post that hit the front page." If you want to complain about other places in general, "other parenting/advice/judgement subs" will suffice. Absolutely under no circumstances should you link to anywhere else.

I can't link to other subs?

• Do not directly link to another sub. (e.g.: "/insertsubnamehere is ridiculously hostile to stepparents!")
• Do not name other subs. (e.g.: "I won't link to it directly, but insertsubnamehere is ridiculously hostile to stepparents!")
• Do not abbreviate other subs. (e.g.: "I know that ISNH is ridiculously hostile to stepparents!")

I can't ping other users?

• Do not summon another user with a username ping/tag. (e.g.: "insertusernamehere was being an asshole.")
• If you are agreeing with someone, it is okay to link to them. (e.g.: "I agree with insertusernamehere, you need to take a couple of steps back and reflect on this.")

What does No Platitudes mean?

• Sanctimonious, overused clichés that grossly oversimplify the stepparenting experience are neither wanted nor allowed here. We have all heard it a thousand times before, we don't need to hear it again. It's not nearly as insightful and wise as some would like to think.

Why don't you people understand it's a package deal?

• Any comment that suggests that OP should have known what they were getting involved with, or that they needed to understand that the kids were part of some package they needed to accept before signing up for marriage is subject to immediate removal.
• This is one of the most insensitive things you can say to a stepparent. Most stepparents were aware of the children, but they were probably not aware of all of the family dynamics.

Why can't you just love them like they are your own?

• Demanding that a stranger you do not know love children that are not biologically theirs as if they were theirs can be incredibly damaging to someone who is already in a vulnerable situation. Any comment that falls along these lines will be removed.

What do you mean by No Trolling? I was just...

• No means no. No trolling. No pretending to be a stepparent and then whipping out the Greatest Hits Bingo Card of The Worst Stepparent in the History of Stepparents. We see you. We've seen you a thousand times.

What does "concern trolling", "gish-galloping", and "sealioning" have to do with stepparenting? This isn't a debate sub, why are you using debate terms?

• That's absolutely right, this isn't a debate sub. And yet, here we are, day after day, having to defend ourselves against this sort of thing. So, enough. No more. Usage of any of these things will get you banned.

What is "Concern Trolling?"

• A concern troll is someone who disingenuously visits sites of an opposing ideology to disrupt conversation by offering unwanted advice on how to solve problems which do not really exist.
  • Example Post: OP expresses concern that she will feel, and possibly act, differently towards her stepchildren after her husband decides that no, he doesn't want anymore children after all.
  • Example Concern Troll pulled from actual mod mail after their comment was removed: "Possible child abuse claims need to be sorted out well before whatever empathy you believe the OP was looking for."

What is a "Devil's Advocate"?

• "I'm just playing devil's advocate here, but have you considered that maybe BM is just really tired and needs a break, too?" BM has dozens of different mom based subs alone on reddit she can complain on, this sub is for stepparents. The stepparent doesn't need to consider that maybe BM is just really tired and needs a break.

"Gish-galloping?" What does that even mean?

• The Gish Gallop is the fallacious debate tactic of drowning your opponent in a flood of individually-weak arguments in order to prevent rebuttal of the whole argument collection without great effort. The Gish Gallop is a conveyor belt-fed version of the on the spot fallacy, as it's unreasonable for anyone to have a well-composed answer immediately available to every argument present in the Gallop.

And "sealioning?" What's that?

• Sealioning involves jumping into a conversation with endless polite, reasonable questions and demands for answers, usually of entry-level topics far below the actual conversation (e.g. "please prove sexism exists"). This tactic differs little from harassment; instead of discussion, the point is to derail discussion, receive criticism (for their ignorance) so as to look like a victim, or to make someone feel overwhelmed and quit talking.

Who gets to define what is considered asshattery?

• The mod team, of course! If we feel that comments are out of line, are trolling, are leading up to a fight or "just asking questions", we are going to remove them and most likely ban the offender.

​
​

FAQ - Sub Questions

Posting Guidelines for Stepparents

• Body text is required, we suggest you use line breaks between paragraphs as a wall of text is difficult to read. Posts that have only a title are likely to be removed. Instead of using names (even fictitious ones), try to use the sub acronyms. It helps our users to follow along if you use the acronyms and not names.
• Assign a post flair that accurately describes what your post is about and what you are seeking. If you are posting an update from a previous post, include a link to that post.
• Flairs are applied to posts to determine what a person is looking for. When submitting a new post, you should choose a flair that specifies if you are looking for advice, support, etc. The following link flair is available and is color coded with side bar links so that you can search by flair:
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Posting Guidelines for Bioparents

• Stepparents is a support community for stepparents, by stepparents. As bioparents, you may want to have more insight into how the stepparent in your life feels or thinks. You may have questions on how to ease the transition for your partner. However, please keep in mind that this community was not created for you. It was created for your partner or your ex's partner. If you are seeking support on how to deal with a stepparent, there are other subs more suited for your situation and your post is subject to removal.
• There are some posts from bioparents we will accept:
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• There are some posts from bioparents we will not accept:
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Guidelines for Stepkids

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What the heck are all these acronyms? I'm confused!

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1. Device Identification Exercise:

• Provide excerpts from various texts and ask students to identify and annotate instances of specific literary devices.
  
• Discuss their findings as a class, exploring different interpretations and applications of the devices.
  

1. Creative Writing Prompts:

• Assign each student a specific literary device and ask them to craft a short story or poem that prominently features that device.
  
• Encourage creativity and exploration of the device's nuances in their narratives.
  

1. Literary Analysis Essays:

• Assign students a literary work (poem, speech, or prose) and ask them to write an essay analyzing the author's use of a chosen literary device.
  
• Emphasize the impact of the device on the overall theme and tone of the work.
  

1. Collaborative Storytelling:

• Divide the class into small groups and have each group create a collaborative story.
  
• Assign a different literary device to each group, instructing them to incorporate it seamlessly into their narrative.
  

1. Speech Writing and Delivery:

• Have students choose a social or political topic and write a persuasive speech using anaphora or epizeuxis to enhance their rhetorical impact.
  
• Organize a speech delivery session where students showcase their use of repetition for emphasis.
  

1. Literary Device Showcase:

• Assign each student or group a different literary device and ask them to prepare a presentation showcasing its historical origins, notable examples, and contemporary usage.
  
• Encourage multimedia elements such as visuals or short video clips to enhance engagement.
  

1. Rewriting Exercises:

• Provide sentences or paragraphs containing common expressions and ask students to rewrite them using more complex literary devices.
  
• Discuss the impact of the changes on tone, mood, and overall meaning.
  

1. Debate on Stylistic Choices:
   • Organize a debate where students defend or critique an author's use of a specific literary device in a given text.

• Encourage students to articulate how the device contributes to or detracts from the effectiveness of the work.

1. Literary Device Scavenger Hunt:

• Provide a list of literary devices and have students search for examples in books, articles, or online.
  
• Discuss their findings in class, exploring how different authors use the same device in diverse ways.
  

1. Themed Poetry Slam:

- Task students with creating a thematic poetry slam where each participant focuses on a different literary device. - Host a class poetry slam event where students perform their pieces and discuss their choices. 

1. Interactive Online Quizzes:

- Curate online quizzes or interactive activities that allow students to self-assess their understanding of literary devices. - Provide instant feedback to reinforce learning. 

1. Peer Review and Feedback:

- Implement peer review sessions where students exchange their creative writing assignments and provide constructive feedback on the integration of literary devices. - Encourage discussions on the effectiveness of different approaches. 

1. Literary Device Journal:

- Assign students a literary device to track in their personal reading over a set period. - Have them maintain a journal documenting instances of the device, their interpretations, and reflections on its impact. 

1. Literary Device Bingo:

- Create bingo cards with different literary devices - As students encounter instances of these devices in class readings or discussions, they mark off the corresponding squares on their bingo cards. 

1. Real-world Application Project:

- Challenge students to find examples of literary devices in advertisements, speeches, or news articles. - Present their findings, discussing how the devices are employed for persuasive or artistic purposes in the real world. 

Yes, I am aware of the mantra “never sell, only buy”. But the truth is that I have a couple firearms I hardly ever shoot. I don’t see a reason to keep them when all they do is take up space in the safe and the money they’re worth could be put to use. It’s been a hot minute (almost 10 years) since I’ve sold anything, so I feel a bit out of the loop.
That said, is Calguns still the best place to advertise and connect with potential buyers for PPT? Or is there a better website for that these days? I’m in NorCal (north of Sacramento) if that matters.

Discussion post. I am having a debate with a friend who owns a bar and restaurant over booking bands for shows at the venue.
Bars and venues believe it is up to the band (whomever they may be) to bring in a crowd. Any band they bring in must bring so many people.
I believe that it is your responsibility as a venue owner to bring entertainment to your existing patrons as well as entertainment to draw new patrons local to you. This is for any form of entertainment or event.
Karaoke? Yes I have multiple patrons who would enjoy that. The same applies for trivia, music bingo, food trucks, etc. as a venue owner you are bringing in events that cater to your existing patrons and market yourself to new ones.
Should bands advertise and bring some people? Absolutely, but it should never be expected of them to save your venue from a slow night. We exist to entertain. That’s it. It is up to the venue to determine if our entertainment is what your patrons want.
What do you guys think?

Looking at attending a job fair tomorrow at Santa Fe casino.
I need a part time job for evenings/weekends (like anytime from 5PM to midnight weekdays, or anytime on weekends), and am not picky.
Does Stations have like on call or part time jobs? I know they do, but how does it really work there in May 2024? Like can I even realistically get one of those types of jobs with a separate full time gig? Or do they pretty much require 24x7 availablity for jobs there these days? Note, I don't have hospitality experience on my resume, but am willing to do pretty much any job in the industry.
Here's the job list from the fair tomorrow (I believe all the "Hospitality" ones are Stations):
Available positions at this event:

• Accounting Clerk 2
• Accounting Clerk 3
• Accounting Manager
• ADVERTISING: Hiring Manager
• ADVERTISING: Sales Rep
• ADVERTISING: Sign Spinner
• Bus Drivers
• CABLE: Cable Installer
• CABLE: Cox Business Technician
• CABLE: Underground Cable Installer
• Convenience Store Assistant Manager
• Convenience Store Cashier
• Convenience Store Manager
• C-STORE: Assistant Managers
• C-STORE: Cashiers
• C-STORE: Clerk
• C-STORE: Sales Associates
• Customer Service Representatives
• EDUCATION: Massage Therapist Instructor - Part -Time
• EDUCATION: Medical Billing Coding Instructor - Full-Time
• EDUCATION: Pharmacy Technician Instructor - Full-Time
• EDUCATION: Radiography Clinical Coordinator - Adjunct/ On Call
• HOSPITALITY: Assistant Pastry Chef
• HOSPITALITY: Bar Host
• HOSPITALITY: Bartender
• HOSPITALITY: Bell Person
• HOSPITALITY: Bingo Agent
• HOSPITALITY: Bowling Representative
• HOSPITALITY: Bus Person
• HOSPITALITY: Cafe Assistant Room Manager
• HOSPITALITY: Cafe General Manager
• HOSPITALITY: Call Center Assistant Manager
• HOSPITALITY: Casino Cage Cashier
• HOSPITALITY: Catering Banquet Porter
• HOSPITALITY: Catering Coordinator
• HOSPITALITY: Central Reservation Agent
• HOSPITALITY: Cook (Line Cook)
• HOSPITALITY: Corporate Slot Operations Manager
• HOSPITALITY: Count Team Attendant
• HOSPITALITY: Food Server
• HOSPITALITY: Front Desk Clerk
• HOSPITALITY: Gift Shop CashieClerk
• HOSPITALITY: Guest Room Attendants
• HOSPITALITY: Guest Services Supervisor
• HOSPITALITY: Host/Cashier
• HOSPITALITY: Hotel Assistant Manager
• HOSPITALITY: Hotel Rooms Controller
• HOSPITALITY: Housekeepers
• HOSPITALITY: Housepersons
• HOSPITALITY: Internal Maintenance Manager
• HOSPITALITY: Kitchen Workers
• HOSPITALITY: Maintenance Engineering Supervisor
• HOSPITALITY: Maintenance General Engineer
• HOSPITALITY: Marketing Clerk
• HOSPITALITY: National Sales Manager
• HOSPITALITY: Noodle Bar Specialty Room Chef
• HOSPITALITY: Operations Manager
• HOSPITALITY: Owner Relations Coordinator
• HOSPITALITY: PBX Operator
• HOSPITALITY: Platform Engineer IV
• HOSPITALITY: Poker Cashier
• HOSPITALITY: Poker Dealer
• HOSPITALITY: Pool Bar Porter
• HOSPITALITY: Pool Cabana Host
• HOSPITALITY: Pool Food Server
• HOSPITALITY: Pool Lifeguard
• HOSPITALITY: Pool Sprinter
• HOSPITALITY: Pool VIP Bartender
• HOSPITALITY: Porters
• HOSPITALITY: Promotions Clerk
• HOSPITALITY: Public Area Cleaning Supervisor
• HOSPITALITY: Race & Sports Writer
• HOSPITALITY: Race and Sports Supervisor
• HOSPITALITY: Resort Guest Relations Agent
• HOSPITALITY: Security Supervisor
• HOSPITALITY: Slot Machine Utility Technician
• HOSPITALITY: Slot Marketing Representative
• HOSPITALITY: Slot Technical Project Supervisor
• HOSPITALITY: Slots Guest Service Ambassador
• HOSPITALITY: Steakhouse Room Chef
• HOSPITALITY: Surveillance Agent
• HOSPITALITY: Utility Porter
• HOSPITALITY: UX Designer
• Internal Sales Representative
• Leasing Agents & Managers
• Licensed Insurance Representatives
• Light Industrial and Porters
• Maintenance Tech
• MEDIA: Account Executive
• MEDIA: Digital Ad Operations Manager-Remote
• MEDIA: On -Air Talent
• MEDIA: Programming Support & Operations-Remote
• MEDIA: Promotion Events Support
• Sales
• SOLAR: Sales Representatives
• STADIUM: Accounts Payable Clerk
• STADIUM: Assistant Broadcast Technology Manager
• STADIUM: Assistant Production Technology Manager
• STADIUM: Building Engineer
• STADIUM: Convention Technician
• STADIUM: General Manager
• STADIUM: General Manager
• STADIUM: IPTV and Displays Coordinator
• STADIUM: Payroll Coordinator
• STADIUM: Sales Manager
• STADIUM: Senior Director of Sales
• STADIUM: Stadium Protection and Response Manager
• STADIUM: Stadium Representative
• STADIUM: Staff Accountant
• STADIUM: Ticket Seller

At our career fair, you'll have the chance to:

• Meet face-to-face with recruiters and hiring managers
• Explore open job opportunities and learn about what it's like to work at different companies
• Network

This is your opportunity to discover new career paths, learn about job openings, and make connections that can help you advance in your career.
Don't miss out on this exciting event. Register now. We can't wait to see you there!

Phew! There is SO MUCH on this weekend I might even get out of the house myself.

• This list is so robust that I haven't been able to keep it very well organised - i.e. sorted by Day only
• The Gig Guide is Coming Soon, there are some music events in here
• Times are 24 Hours
• Please visit the event pages to confirm costs and details, some events require membership or their links were dodgy or their details were scant - always confirm with the event provider
• Don't forget to check comments for suggestions and corrections
• (R) = Recurring - These events are on every week (more or less)
• PROMO = Retail Event (Shopping!)
• This list will eventually become a mailing list (but reddit will always get some love!)
• Transparency statement: No sponsors, no payments made for any of this advertising - even with this weeks personal picks
• You can, however, say thanks by chucking a donation to my PayPal
• I'm just one beaver! Your donation is gratefully received.

General:

Brisbane Comedy Festival and heaps of good other stuff @ Powerhouse https://brisbanepowerhouse.org/?section=whats-on
QPAC is Packed: https://www.qpac.com.au/whats-on
German Film Festival Until 29th of May @ Palace Cinemas https://germanfilmfestival.com.au/
Sportsball: https://www.suncorpstadium.com.au/What-s-On.aspx
Pick of the Week:
Abbeystowe Challenger Clash Medieval meets MMA Buhurt International event at the Abbey Museum Abbeystowe Challenger Clash - Buhurt International 25 - 26 May https://abbeystowe.com/abbeystowe-challenger-clash/
And this one looks fun:
What: Synthetique Where: Can You Keep A Secret? 619 Stanley St, Woolloongabba When: 1800 - 2200 Info: Free entry, more info https://synthschool.org
Lastly, a different kind of sportsball:
What: Celtic FC vs Rangers FC - Scottish Cup Final Where: The Lord Alfred, Caxton St When: 2130 Info: https://www.facebook.com/events/3617247851939152/

THURSDAY

What: Board Game Nights @ Lucky Cat Cafe (R) Where: 667 Ipswich Road Brisbane, QLD, Australia, Queensland 4103 When: 1800-2100 Info: 18+, Free Parking, Contact for info regarding bookings
What: Queer Sister Smackdown - WILDCARD ROUND Where: Sportsman Hotel When: 2100 Info: Free Entry
What: Beer Garden Trivia (R) Where: Wickham When: 1900 Info: Pet friendly, register before the event
What: Broncos Player Appearance at rebel Everton Park Where: 752 Stafford Rd, Everton Park QLD 4053, Australia When: 1630 Info: Food trucks, prizes, games and player appearance from 4:30pm
What: Aussie Comedy Legends Where: Princess Theatre When: 1930 - No Latecomers! Info: https://www.brisbanecomedyfestival.com/events/aussie-comedy-legends/
What: UQ Law Society - Senior Moot Grand Final Where: Banco Court, Supreme Court Building, 415 George St When: 1745 Info: Outsiders welcome, register: https://form.jotform.com/241371780169864 before 2000 Wednesday
What: PROMO: C&L Mega Tool Sale Where: 6 Armada Place, Brisbane, QLD, Australia, Queensland 4014 When: Thurs, Fri, Sat Info: https://www.facebook.com/events/830793649067756
What: The Rise & Fall of Fashion's Provocateur John Galliano Where: New Farm Cinema When: 1800 Info: Part of Brisbane Fashion Festival, advance booking recommended
What: Synthetique Where: Can You Keep A Secret? 619 Stanley St, Woolloongabba When: 1800 - 2200 Info: Free entry, more info https://synthschool.org
What: Festa Italiana - Weekend 1 Where: Howard Smith Wharves When: Thurs 1600, Friday 1600, Saturday 1200, Sunday 1200 Info: https://www.facebook.com/events/911045000708413/
What: Matched Speed Dating @ The Gatsby Where: 890 Ann Street When: 1900 Info: NEARLY SOLD OUT https://cityswoon.com.au/speed-dating-brisbane-the-gatsby-lounge-bar-5252
What: Deathless Dome Workshop (R) Where: 51 Prospect Road Gaythorne, QLD 4051 When: From 1600 (90 minute session), Several times and bookings available Info: https://www.eventbrite.com.au/e/deathless-dome-workshop-tickets-884645387167
What: Ferny Grove Food Truck Pop-Up Where: Ferny Grove Aqua Park When: 1700 - 1900 Info: Rolls Pho Mi & Mi Casa Burger Truck

FRIDAY

What: Balls Out Bingo @ Sporties (R) Where: Sportsman Hotel When: 2000 Info: Bookings Essential
What: PROMO: Warehouse Clearance Event Where: 614 Zillmere Rd, Aspley When: Fri, Sat, Sun 0800 - 1600 Info: wfc.com.au FREE COFFEE, FREE PETTING ZOO, FREE FACE PAINTING, FREE SAUSAGE SIZZLE
What: Antiques, Vintage, Collectables and Records Where: 8 Brendale Centre, 7 Johnston Road, Brendale When: Fri 0900 to Sun 1400 Info: https://www.c2cjunktiques.com.au
What: QUEST End of Semester Boat Party (STUDENTS ONLY) Where: Botanic Gardens Edward Street Gates When: 1700 - 2030 Info: https://events.humanitix.com/end-of-sem-boat-party
What: End of Semester After Party (STUDENTS ONLY) Where: Stock Exchange Hotel - 166 Charlotte Street When: 2130 til late Info: Kick-ons after the boat party https://www.facebook.com/events/1481647302561270/
What: Careers and Jobs Expo Where: Convention Centre Southbank When: Fri 0900 - 1500 and Sat 0900 to 1600 Info: Free, Register here: http://careersemploymentexpo.com.au/Brisbane.html
What: KARNIVOOL Pre-Party Where: Skulligans - 105/38 Warner St, Valley When: 1700 Info: Free Entry, $10 Pizza Slice and Beer deal from 1700
What: Missy Higgins, All Ages at QPAC Where: QPAC Southbank When: 1900 Info: https://qpac.n.qtix.com.au/tickets/series/missyhiggins24
What: Vegan/Vego Laneway Festival Where: 148 Logan Road, Woolloongabba When: 1600 - 2030 Info: Free entry, free underground parking for 5hrs, https://www.facebook.com/events/950383850088387/
What: Social Mingle, Dinner Party: Angels and Devils Theme Where: Mastani Bar and Restaurant - 43 Ipswich Rd, Woolloongabba When: 1800 Info: $15, Bookings Essential https://www.cloud9zouk.com.au/events/social-mingle-dinner-party-angels-and-devil-theme
What: The Kitty Kats Live @ Doo-Bop Where: 101 Edward Street When: 1900 - 2100 Info: $49 https://doo-bop.com.au/events/the-kitty-kats/
What: XC POST Benga Box Where: 3 Bilston St, Stafford When: 2000 Info: $25, Tickets: https://www.ticketebo.com.au/head-of-rivebbc-xc-post
What: Vice City - Fortitude Valley's True Crime Tour (R) Where: Church St, Fortitude Valley When: 1700 - 1830 Info: $28 https://www.eventbrite.com.au/e/vice-city-fortitude-valleys-true-crime-tour-tickets-703960774627
What: Quiz Beer: 6 Beers for 20 Years of Quizmeisters Where: Brewski, 22 Caxton Street, Petrie Tce When: 1200 - 2300 (really? I'd call Brewski and confirm this) Info: https://www.facebook.com/events/847047457467871/
What: Sea Shanty and Folk Song Session (R) Where: Barbossa Bar & Bottle Shop, 168 Grey St, South Brisbane QLD 4101, Australia When: 1900 - 2200 Info: https://www.facebook.com/events/1592042841639619/

SATURDAY

What: Vice City - Fortitude Valley's True Crime Tour (R) Where: Church St, Fortitude Valley When: 1700 - 1830 Info: $28 https://www.eventbrite.com.au/e/vice-city-fortitude-valleys-true-crime-tour-tickets-703960774627
What: Missy Higgins, All Ages at QPAC Where: QPAC Southbank When: 1900 Info: https://qpac.n.qtix.com.au/tickets/series/missyhiggins24
What: Emo Vs. Horror - Emo Night Brisbane Where: The Brightside Brisbane When: 2000 - 0300 Info: From $12 https://www.eventbrite.com.au/e/emo-vs-horror-emo-night-brisbane-may-tickets-839871497257
What: PROMO: KickAss Warehouse Sale Where: 39 Iris Place, Acacia Ridge When: 0900 Info: https://www.facebook.com/events/996279998512277/
What: Street Feast Redcliffe Where: Redcliffe Showgrounds When: 1600 - 2100 Info: $2 Cashless Entry https://www.facebook.com/events/3641308392778577/ Vendors Register here: https://form.jotform.com/StreetFeastQLD/foodretailapplicationform
What: PROMO: Lighting Illusions (Skygate) Where: 34 The Circuit, Brisbane Airport When: 0900 - 1600 Info: https://www.facebook.com/events/468651258948112/
What: Townsville Grammar School Alumni Meet Up Where: Pullman & Mercure King George Square When: 1530 Info: Free, registration: https://events.humanitix.com/brisbane-past-grammarians-catch-up
What: Little Shop of Treasures Grand Opening Where: 18 Alexandra St, Paddington When: 0900 Info: https://www.facebook.com/events/451430600712764/
What: Vinnies Paddington Grand Re-Opening Where: 16 Latrobe Tce, Paddington When: 0900 - 1700 Info: https://www.facebook.com/events/1572259696670919/
What: Her Wardrobe x Jan Powers Farmers Market Where: Powerhouse New Farm When: 0800 - 1200 Info: Free entry https://www.facebook.com/events/1595172964359496/ Vendors registration: www.herwardrobe.com
What: Handmade Market Where: QLD Museum, Whale Mall When: 1000 - 1500 Info: https://www.facebook.com/events/1356960811678541/
What: Doggy Adoption Day by OTC K9 Rescue Where: The Lodge, Shop 7 Waterworks Road When: 0900 - 1200 Info: https://www.facebook.com/events/779273587687755/
What: Gigs and Picnics Where: City Botanic Gardens When: 1200 - 1600 Info: https://www.facebook.com/events/6929723100469780
What: FILM: The City of Lost Children (La Cite des Enfants Perdus) Where: GOMA When: 1500 Info: From $7, tickets: https://www.qagoma.qld.gov.au/cinema/screening/the-city-of-lost-children
What: Puppies and Pilates Where: Bardon When: 0900 & 1030 Info: $40, https://www.trybooking.com/CRKRG
What: Le Grande Soiree (UQ, not sure if Students Only) Where: Rydges Southbank When: 1830 - 2230 Info: From $110 https://events.humanitix.com/la-grande-soiree-edsoc-x-cesa-x-mess-ball-2024
What: Connected Women Brisbane Launch Party Where: Lina Rooftop, 80 Tribune St, Brisbane When: 1300 - 1600 Info: $65 https://events.humanitix.com/connected-women-launch-party-brisbane
What: Succulent Sale, Springwood Where: Springwood Community Centre When: 0800 - 1130 Info: https://www.facebook.com/events/886388919614391/
What: The Hills Carnivale Where: George Willmore Park, Amaroo Ave, Ferny Hills When: 1200 - 1900 Info: https://www.facebook.com/events/1276749359947502/
What: WE ARE 80s PARTY Where: La Costa Restaurant and Bar, 209 Brunswick St, Valley When: 2000 - 0100 Info: $23.50 https://tickets.oztix.com.au/outlet/event/871487f2-b5cd-484f-8b7a-91b6b4d97eb8
What: Milton Common Collective - Wine & Distillery Tasting Where: 35 Railway Tce, Milton When: 1130 - 1500 or 1600 to 2000 Info: $55 https://www.eventbrite.com.au/e/milton-common-collective-tickets-881131145977?aff=oddtdtcreator
What: Dancing for Everyone! Where: 10 Love Street, Spring Hill When: 1900 Info: $20 https://www.cloud9zouk.com.au/events/cloud-9-zouk-dance-party-25th-may-2024
What: UQ Economics Ball - MUST BE UQES MEMBER Where: Cloudland When: 1900 - 2300 Info: https://clubs.getqpay.com/?s=1862&eventid=24484
What: Shannons Auto Caffeine Sunset Edition Where: 107 Fison Ave W, Eagle Farm When: 1700 - 2100 Info: https://www.facebook.com/events/1263595268134236/
What: Gentleman's Ride (Motorbike Event) Where: 79B Albert St When: 0800 - 1400 Info: https://www.facebook.com/events/1119641092500503/
What: QLD Young Labour Conference Where: 27 Peel St, South Brisbane When: 1000 - 1500 Info: Registration required: https://www.facebook.com/events/798050338925654/
What: Thrift Shop Sale Where: Salvation Army Taigum When: 0700 - 1200 Info: https://www.facebook.com/events/970200017992167/
What: Daytime Trivia with Doggos Where: Prince Consort, 230 Wickham St When: 1200 - 1500 Info: $30, https://events.humanitix.com/doggotrivia
What: The Guzzler Training Run and Brooks Giveaway Where: Mt. Coot-tha When: 0645 Info: https://www.facebook.com/events/2180481762291727/
What: PROMO: Horseland First Birthday Party Where: 22 Kingston Road, Underwood When: 0900 Info: https://www.facebook.com/events/460759566634300/
What: Epic Meal for an Epic Cause Where: Australian School of Meditation and Yoga When: 1700 - 1830 Info: From $19 https://events.humanitix.com/epic-meal-for-an-epic-cause
What: Canapes and Cocktails - Mother's Day Out Where: Darling and Co 157 Terrace, Paddington When: 1400 - 1600 Info: $59 https://www.facebook.com/events/934657115021948/
What: Colour Consciousness: A FREE Spiritual Art Workshop Where: 355 Wickham Tce, Spring Hill When: 1300 - 1600 Info: https://www.facebook.com/events/1015709046806079/
What: FILM: Bound Where: New Farm Cinema When: 1900 Info: From $14 https://www.fivestarcinemas.com.au/new-farm/movie/bound
What: XXXX Doomben Race Day Where: Doomben Racecourse When: 1000 Info: From $15 https://moshtix.com.au/v2/event/xxxx-doomben-cup-day-saturday-25th-may-2024-doomben-racecourse/160765
What: Walking with Vida Where: Museum of Brisbane When: 1000 - 1130 Info: $59 https://www.eventbrite.com.au/e/walking-with-vida-tickets-749681215697
What: CONVERGE: A Queer, Alt Music and Art Showcase Where: The Cave Inn, 47 Balaclava St, Woolloongabba When: 1830 Info: https://www.facebook.com/events/642603861314541/
What: Horror Maze and Bar Where: 226 Brunswick St, Valley When: 1900 - 2345 Info: Free https://www.facebook.com/events/452671070629139/
What: Brisbane Singles Bar Hop 35 - 49 Where: Valley When: 1930 - 2300 Info: Tickets, https://www.events.socialmingles.com.au/event/brisbane-singles-bar-hop-gpb/
What: The Bread Gang Where: The MET When: 2100 Info: https://www.facebook.com/events/941262827541443/

SUNDAY

What: Dragons and Flagons (R) Where: The Alliance Hotel, Spring Hill When: 1400 - 1700 Info: FREE https://www.facebook.com/events/1775613289596874/
What: QUEARGASM Where: 569 Brunswick Hotel, New Farm When: 1300 - 1800 Info: FREE ENTRY https://www.facebook.com/events/890280202852341/
What: Street Feast Where: Pine Rivers When: 1600 - 2100 Info: $2 Cashless Entry Vendor Registration: https://form.jotform.com/StreetFeastQLD/foodretailapplicationform
What: Twenty One Pilots Pop-Up Shop - Album Launch Where: 312A Brunswick Street, Valley When: 1000 - 1400 Info: https://www.facebook.com/events/818050670207726/
What: Japanese Market (R) Where: 123 Charlotte St When: 1000 Info: Free
What: 1UP x James Toys Swap Meet Where: 230A Lytton Rd, Morningside When: 0800 Info: Free Entry https://www.facebook.com/events/457374460175500/
What: Your Local Wedding Guide Expo Where: Exhibition Building 595 Gregory Tce, Bowen Hills When: 1000 - 1500 Info: Free Tickets https://www.weddingguide.com.au/expo-brisbane
What: Broncos Team Signing + Buffet Where: 98 Fulcher Rd, Ashgrove When: 1700 - 1900 Info: $150, https://www.trybooking.com/events/landing/1227859
What: UQ Beer and Rum Party (MEMBERSHIP REQUIRED) Where: Botanic Gardens River Hub When: 1315 - 1800 Info: $35 https://www.facebook.com/events/1130293148015896/
What: Her Wardrobe Market Where: Mt Gravatt Showgrounds When: 0800 - 1200 Info: Free Entry, Free Parking https://www.facebook.com/events/1003827627939052/
What: Choral Spectacular - 4MBS Festival of Classics Where: Brisbane City Hall When: 1500 Info: From $50 https://4mbs.sales.ticketsearch.com/sales/salesevent/129780
What: Simmo and Jodie and Lions and Hawks Where: 24 Martin St, Fortitude Valley When: 1230 Info: https://www.facebook.com/events/1492672831662047
What: Coda Red Where: Bardon Bowls Club When: 1430 Info: All Ages, Bookings Recommended www.bardonbowls.com
What: Sacred Earth Where: Multicultural Centre 10 Wharf St, Kangaroo Point When: 1600 - 1800 Info: $43.50 https://www.sacredearthmusic.com/event-details/brisbane-concert-2024
What: FILM: Island of Lost Souls Where: GOMA When: 1300 Info: $10 https://www.qagoma.qld.gov.au/cinema/screening/island-of-lost-souls-2024-05-26
What: Fab Finds Market Where: Geebung Bowls Club When: 7 Thompson St, Zillmere Info: NO ATM ON SITE, BRING CASH https://www.fabfindsmarkets.com.au
What: Authentic Relating in the Park Where: Orleigh Park When: 1400 - 1630 Info: https://www.facebook.com/events/761610486166715/
What: PCMC Race 3 - Wetlands Wander Where: Please click the link, I forgot to paste it in :( When: from 0700 (registration), Race from 0900 Info: https://paddleqld.asn.au/event/pcmc-race-3-wetlands-wander
What: Morgan and Wacker Shop Ride Where: 54 Ross St, Newstead When: 0830 Info: RSVP by Friday 22 May https://mcholdings.wufoo.com/forms/morgan-wacker-hd-26-may-shop-ride/https://www.facebook.com/events/984796476984413/
What: Themed Trivia Sundays @ Hop and Pickle (R) Where: 6e Little Stanley Street, Southbank When: 1800 - 2200 Info: https://www.facebook.com/events/1117295099296797
What: Green Heart Fair Where: Victoria Park When: 0900 - 1500 Info: https://www.sustainablebrisbane.com.au/whats-on/green-heart-fai
What: PROMO: Homemaker Inspo Party! Where: 1058 Ann St, Valley When: 1000 - 1500 Info: FREE https://www.facebook.com/events/932732041972433/
What: Milton Markets (R) Where: Milton Green, Cribb St, Milton When: 0700 - 1300 Info: https://goodwillprojects.com.au/markets/milton/
What: Breakfast at Joe's Where: 1084 Kingsford Smith Dr, Eagle Farm When: 0600 - 0900 Info: Cars, Bikes and Breakfast https://www.facebook.com/events/379064775135379/
What: Northey Street Farmer's Market Where: 16 Victoria St, Windsor When: 0600 - 1000 Info: It looks like it's just Blueberries? https://www.facebook.com/events/428387809620352/
What: History Day Where: 349 Wardell Street (enter via Trundle St) When: 0900 - 1500 Info: $20 https://events.humanitix.com/history-day
What: Maprun Parks QLD Where: Edenbrooke, 27 Drummond St, Sinnamon Park When: 1600 Info: From $5, Cashless Preferred https://www.facebook.com/events/344945375266579/
What: Console Cowboys Where: Netherworld, 186 Brunswick St When: 1800 Info: https://www.facebook.com/events/3614306175565841/
What: Mega Garage Sale Where: 51 Watt St, Caboolture When: 0900 - 1200 Info: https://www.facebook.com/events/968383138292856/
What: Attention Shoppers, Angela Dowling, Timothy Joseph-Band, Ungodly Hours Where: Cyber Palace, 89 Gipps St When: 1600 - 2100 Info: Humanitix looks broken, https://www.facebook.com/events/2325597607650206/
What: The Walters @ Lefty's Where: Lefty's, 15 Caxton St When: 1630 - 1930 Info: https://www.facebook.com/events/787404563318868/
What: League of Extraordinary Gamers Where: 67 Ipswich Road, Woolloongabba When: 0900 - 1800 Info: $10 https://www.facebook.com/events/335667489544103/
What: The Brook Hotel's First Birthday! Where: 167 Osborne Rd, Mitchelton When: 1400 - 1600 Info: Petting Zoo, Jumping Castle, Giant Slide, Fairy Floss https://www.facebook.com/events/2362422014148598/
What: FILM: All About Eve Where: New Farm Cinemas When: 1430 Info: from $14 https://www.fivestarcinemas.com.au/new-farm/movie/all-about-eve
What: Celtic FC vs Rangers FC - Scottish Cup Final Where: The Lord Alfred, Caxton St When: 2130 Info: https://www.facebook.com/events/3617247851939152/
What: Million Paws Walk Brisbane Where: Forgan Smith Lawn When: 0800 - 1300 Info: from $30 https://www.millionpawswalk.com.au/brisbane
What: Herb Awareness 2024 Where: Albion Peace Centre When: 0900 - 1500 Info: https://www.facebook.com/events/170844936093185/

NB: This list wont be updated - any corrections or additions are - you guessed it - in the comments!

Need an event buddy? Post over in brisbanesocial or ask in the Discord (sidebar)

Enjoy!

Below you will find a weekly reminder of our Rules and partial FAQ. It's definitely a long read, but it's worth your time, especially if you are new to the community, or dropping by as a result of a link you found elsewhere. We periodically revise our rules, this weekly notice will help keep you informed of any changes made.
NOTE: These rules are guidelines. Some moderation discretion is to be expected.

Community Rules

1. Kindness Matters

Advise, don't criticize.

• Post with empathy, thoughtfulness, and constructive commentary rather than judgment. Don't be an asshole.
• Name-calling, slurs (including gender or race based slurs), and insults towards other community members will not be tolerated. Do not attack others for their personally held values, custody situation, marital status, physical distance from stepkids, or economic status; or on the basis of race, sex, sexual orientation, age, religion, or ethnicity.
• No name-calling toward children, including the above-mentioned insults or the term "skids", or terms such as "mini-wife" or "mini-husband."
• Comments advocating spanking or any mention of wanting to harm children are not allowed.
• This is a support sub, not a judgement sub, assholes are not tolerated. Comments with terms used in other subs to pass judgement on assholes will be removed.

2. No Drama

This is a support sub.

• Bickering, nitpicking, and thread derailment will not be tolerated and will be subject to removal at moderator discretion.
• Do not repeatedly badger a poster demanding answers, or refuse to acknowledge an answer that's already been given.
• Do not use sensitive issues from past posts (either from this sub or other subs) to attack another user, as we are all discussing vulnerable topics.
• Crossposting anything from /stepparents to any other subreddit might result in a ban and may result in the original thread being locked. Brigading our sub will result in an immediate ban.

3. Report, Don’t Rant

No backseat modding.

• If you see someone breaking the rules, report the post or comment to the mods rather than engaging them in an argument. Failure to do so may be subject to comment removal at moderator discretion.
• No meta posts complaining about rude comments, DMs, or general sub issues.
• If you think someone is a troll or previously banned user, either use the report function or message the mods to direct their attention to the issue.

4. No Naming & Shaming

No userpings or links.

• Tagging/pinging users or other subreddits in an attempt to bully, harass, or complain will not be tolerated. Do not tag other subs, ever.
• If you want to complain about another subreddit being hostile to stepparents, do not name the subreddit. "Other parenting/advice/judgement subs" will suffice.

5. No Platitudes

Nobody knew what they were getting into.

• Comments like "You knew what you were getting into", "Love them, love their kids!", "They're a package deal!" and "You have to love them like your own!" will be removed.
• Comments suggesting that OP is not cut out for stepparenting will be removed at moderator discretion.
• Comments like "This is just a part of parenting, deal with it!" will be removed at moderator discretion.

6. No Trolling

We have zero tolerance for trolls.

• This is a support sub. Our subscribers do not have the time, nor inclination, to provide support to internet trolls. Posts that are suspected to be trolling attempts will be immediately removed, and the poster banned.
• Concern trolling, devil's advocating, gish-galloping, sealioning, and general asshattery are subject to immediate removal and banning without warning or notice.
• Any attempt to circumvent the ban by creating a new username will be reported to reddit admins and possibly result in account suspension.

7. No Personally Identifiable Information

Use discretion when posting.

• We highly recommend using a separate account for support subs to help prevent being doxxed. Do not post any information that may allow others to figure out your identity.
• Do not post photos of children, or any other photo that could be used to identify you or another user on the sub.
• Any image that contains a name or other identifying information should have the name or identifying information blurred out. This includes drawings, notes, and screenshots.
• Do not link to social media or any articles/blogs where you or another user on the sub is mentioned by name.

8. No More than 2 Posts per 24 hours

Use the daily threads.

• We are not a huge sub, but we are no longer a small sub. If you have multiple grievances to air, use the daily discussion threads instead of multiple posts.

9. Follow Reddiquette

Remember the human.

• Adhere to the same standards of behavior online that you follow in real life.
• Read it in full here.
• Downvoting is reserved for comments that don’t contribute, and shouldn't be used to indicate disagreement.
• If you believe someone is in violation of the subreddit rules, please either use the report function or message the mods to direct their attention to the issue.
• Suspected brigading will be reported to reddit admins.

10. No Porn, Spam, Blogs, or Research Studies/Surveys Without Mod Approval

Just don't.

• This is a SFW subreddit. Posting pornography will result in immediate post removal and permanent ban.
• Advertising on the subreddit (outside of Reddit's own advertising) is not allowed.
• No personal blog posts are allowed without express moderator permission.
• No advertising without prior mod approval.
• No asking for money/posting fundraisers/etc.
• For links to parenting research studies or surveys, please message the mods for permission before posting.

11. Disputes in Modmail Only

Don't argue with the mods on the sub.

• Any issues specifically related to how a mod is moderating should be addressed to the full moderating team via mod mail. This ensures that all mods are aware of any concerns and prevents disintegration of the topic thread at hand.
• This means to do not message or send chat requests to individual mods. All discussion and complaints about mod actions need to be done in mod mail ONLY. Failure to follow this rule can result in an immediate permanent ban.
• Comments in threads asking about mod decisions are subject to removal without notice.

12. Moderator Actions

We aren't kidding.

• Users are expected to know the rules before posting. If you are warned or banned for violating the rules, ignorance is not an excuse.
• Moderators will remove posts and comments and/or lock threads in accordance with the rules above. Typically this happens when threads have gone off-topic in a way that is not productive for the OP, or comments overall have become contentious or disrespectful.
• If a poster continues to argue or to willfully violate these rules, temporary and permanent ban procedures will be followed. Any attempts to avoid or bypass temporary bans will result in a permanent ban. User bans will not be discussed in the sub. Questions posted about user bans are subject to removal and the poster subject to warning/ban procedures. The mod team will not discuss a specific user ban with anyone other than the user involved.
• New accounts are subject to manual approval until they are no longer deemed "new" by the mod team. This helps to weed out trolls and ban evaders.
• We rely on Automoderator to scan for specific words and phrases that are not welcome here and notify the mod team to review the comment or post. This includes slurs of any type and platitudes such as "Love them as your own!"
• The mod team uses a combination of blacklisting and banning when dealing with trolls.
• We employ the use of a bot that automatically bans anyone who comments in subs that have historically harassed our users. If you are picked up by the bot for telling trolls to get fucked, reach out via mod mail and we'll get you sorted out.
• The rules above as well as ban procedures are considered guidelines only; some deviation may be necessary on a case by case basis and/or at the mod team's discretion.

13. Ban Procedure

These actions are at moderator discretion.

• Pornography will result in an automatic permanent ban.
• Extremely egregious content will result in an immediate permanent ban.
• You may receive a 7 or 30 day temporary ban for first and second rule violations, depending upon severity.
• Continued rule violations will result in a permanent ban.
• Willful attempts to avoid or bypass temporary bans will result in a permanent ban.
• We recognize the reddit site-wide rules of using alt names to get around bans and will ban those as well as report them to reddit admins.

​
​

FAQ - About the Rules

What does Kindness Matters mean?

• Shortest version? Don't be an asshole. People come here for support and advice, they do not come here to be yelled at or told they are the reason everything is going sideways. There are ways to point out that someone may want to do some reflection on their own actions and reactions without being an asshole about it.
• The purpose of this subreddit is to provide support and a sense of belonging for struggling stepparents. We aren't here to pass judgement, but rather to offer support, empathy, and constructive commentary. That does not include "hard truths" or "tough love." Stepparents get enough of that in every other subreddit, we're not passing it out here. Be respectful.
• Remember, most people aren't going to come to a sub like this when everything is going great and everyone is getting along. People are coming here when they are down, when they are feeling defeated and stretched to the limit. Kicking someone when they are down is shitty behavior and we don't tolerate it.

What about being kind to the kids?

• "Won't somebody think of the children?" Pearl clutching isn't needed here. If you read the Kindness Matters rule closely, you will see that there is a clause in there about name calling children. We don't allow it. We also don't allow people rolling in telling OP that they feel sorry for their stepkids because OP is feeling overwhelmed and overloaded.
• If anyone is advocating slapping, spanking, or any other form of violence, report the comment immediately. We do not advocate violence towards children of any sort. The mod team does not advocate any sort of physical punishment at any time.
• Venting about behaviors is not the same as insulting the kids. However, if you see a post or comment where kids are being name called or dragged to the point of no return, use the report button. We try to catch the posts and remove them before they hit the sub, but we cannot see every comment without your help. Use the report button to bring problematic comments to our attention. Don't engage in a war of words on our subreddit.

Why is this sub such an echo chamber?

• Not allowing contributors to pile on and tell OP that they are a terrible human being who should never be around children does not equate to being an echo chamber. Many contributors here will offer OP suggestions to help them work through their resentments and frustrations, and the most egregious situations are called out. We simply ask that it be called out with respect.
• If you feel that a post is simply too much for you to handle without following the rules, move on to another post.
• If you believe that a post itself is crossing the rules report it. If the mod team has approved the post, it is because the mod team believes that the OP needs help from the community or needs a moment to vent and move on from their vent. That does not give you license to pile on disrespectfully. Unless it is proven that OP is a bot, assume that OP is a human being with real thoughts and feelings and has posted from a place of vulnerability.

Why can't I tell OP that they are an asshole?

• Because this isn't a judgement sub. We aren't AITA, we don't want to be AITA.
• Comments with terms like YTA, NTA, ESH, NAH will be removed.
• Don't start your posts with INFO either. We generally recognize that as a fishing attempt for more information to pass judgement on OP, and again, we are not a judgment sub.

But OP asked if they were an asshole?!

• Their post somehow got past our automoderator. Just use the report button. We will address it with OP.
• If you've asked if you are an asshole, a-hole, a*hole, a**hole, whatever, don't be surprised if your post is removed without warning. This isn't a judgment sub. If you want judgment, you know where to go.

What is a gendered slur?

• While it seems that everyone understands what racist slurs are, people struggle understanding the concept of gendered slurs. Generally speaking, we are talking about derogatory nouns or verbs that are used to negatively describe people or situations based on gendered terms.
• We've gone back and forth on this a few times, and the truth is, we get it, it's your safe space and you want to be able to vent about BM/BD how you want to vent about them, without us telling you how to vent about them. Fair enough. Vent away. What we are going to stick to here how people are referring to other users and to stepchildren.
• Examples that are not allowed:
  • "My SD is such a little bitch."
  • "She dresses/acts like a slut."
  • "My SS acts like a pussy."
  • "My SS is such a beta male."
  • "You are all fucking whores."
  • "Any dude who is raising some sluts kids is a cuck!"
  • "Little Lord Fauntleroy over here thinking he runs the house!"
  • "You're just the bangnanny, get used to it."
• Don't call users here names, don't call stepchildren names.
• Masking the term with asterisks or other neat little tricks might get you around the bot, but if we see it, we're removing it and quite possibly giving you a time out. The intended word is still there and you deliberately tried to skate the rule.
• As there is not enough space to list every term that is offensive and does not belong, nor every situation in which term or phrase may be allowable in context, this rule is enforced based on moderator discretion.

Seriously? You are the language police now?

• We're here to talk about stepparenting. And we would like for that to happen in a respectful way. Attacking each other doesn't help. Belittling stepchildren draws in trolls who don't understand your frustration, all they see is an evil stepmonster talking shit on the internet about a poor, innocent baby. Yes, even if that "poor, innocent baby" just robbed you blind and set fire to the house on their way out the door. That's just how it goes.
• We are aware that this is a relatively new rule and a lot of older posts and comments contain a lot of problematic language, including some from mods themselves. We are growing and evolving, and rules change as the sub grows and evolves.

What does No Drama really mean?

• Pretty much what it says, do not bring drama from other subs into this sub. Do not engage in vote brigades. Do not try to incite other subscribers to riot in a different sub. Don't follow posters into this sub from other subs to continue to harass them. Do not badger someone or derail threads. Do not harass community members because you don't agree with them. There's enough drama in the daily lives of subscribers, more isn't needed.

What is thread derailment?

• When a comment chain has devolved to the point where all you are doing is arguing back and forth with someone about the same thing over and over again, you have derailed the thread. Also known as bickering. It's what children do. We assume if people are in a stepparent role they are adults. We expect you to act like it.
• If you aren't a stepparent, or in a stepparenting role, consider that perhaps this subreddit isn't for you. If you want to participate, do so with respect. Thread derailment, arguing, bickering, and nitpicking are not allowed.

But what if they didn't answer my question?

• No one has to answer your questions. This is a support sub, not an inquisition. Jumping on a bandwagon with "OP is evading the question" in a 20 comment long chain is the epitome of thread derailment. You'll find more information about trolling below and how this might be considered such.

Why am I being silenced? I'm just asking for a back and forth!

• Thread derailment, badgering, and nitpicking are considered harassment. Continued harassment of either community members or mods will get you banned.

Why can't I look at someone's post history and comment about it?

• No mod in the history of this sub has ever once said post histories are forbidden. What we do frown upon is using someone's post history to attack, belittle, or otherwise harass someone.
• Example Post: "My stepkid's mom really hates me. How can I make this better?"
  • Okay: "Based on the timeline and your post history, it looks like this may have started as an affair. Unfortunately there's going to be outstanding issues for a long time due to that. Try focusing on yourself and how you can move forward without worrying about how someone else feels about you."
  • Not Okay: "Holy shit! You were the OW! What the hell do you expect, homewrecker?!"
• Example Post: "I am completely overloaded and feeling very down about myself."
  • Okay: "In your post history you mentioned that your spouse wasn't really helping around the house. Has that changed at all?"
  • Not Okay: "LOL, you already got the answers you need in your post on relationships. You are stupid for sticking with your lazy spouse."

Why can't we crosspost stuff to other subs?

• We can't stop you from doing so. The problem isn't that something has been crossposted, it's when the community that it's been crossposted to feels the need to come over here and harass OP. When we see that happening, we lock the post and start passing out bans. If you did the crossposting, you'll be banned. If you participated in the brigading, you'll be banned.

What if it's my own post?

• Again, we can't stop you from doing so. We prefer that you don't technically crosspost, but rather just copy and paste your post. Why? Because inevitably the above will happen. Redditors from other subs will follow you back to /stepparents and start attacking users here. It just happens.

What is "brigading"?

• Reddit defines vote manipulation and brigading as follows:
• Using multiple accounts, voting services, or any other software to increase or decrease vote scores.
• Asking people to vote up or down certain posts, either on Reddit itself or through social networks, messaging, etc. for personal gain.
• Forming or joining a group that votes together, either on a specific post, a user's posts, posts from a domain, etc.
• We, along with pretty much every other subreddit that has ever had to deal with this nonsense, further define brigading as this: You saw a post on another sub that linked to our sub either via a link in a comment or a crosspost. It was basically saying something along the lines of "OMG, check out these assholes over on /stepparents! They literally hate all their stepkids!" And then you and your friends come over and start hammering on OP and telling OP how much they suck. Congrats, you have just participated in a brigade.

What is this whole Report, Don't Rant thing about?

• If you see a post or comment that breaks the rules, instead of engaging, report it. When you report it, it sends notification to the mod team. We will act on it where appropriate. Engaging with bad faith users may result in your comments being removed. If you repeatedly do so, you may end up being banned.

What if I see an obvious troll?

• Report it.

What if they are being really mean in comments?

• Report it.

What if they are harassing me in private messages?

• Step 1: Report them to admins. You can report harassment to reddit by using this link or send a DM to reddit admins. Include the link to the DM, admins can see your inbox and providing a direct link is helpful for them to weed out bad actors.
• Step 2: Block the person so they cannot directly contact you again.
• Step 3: Send us a mod mail and let the mod team know. Tell us who they are and what they said, send us a screenshot if you can - admins can see your DMs, mods can't. We'll take action where necessary by banning from the sub if they aren't already banned.

What do you mean by No Naming & Shaming?

• Just as we prefer to not be linked to or crossposted from, we do not allow linking to or calling out other subs by name. If you see something you want to share, say it's a hot post that has hit the front page and a stepparent is being absolutely flayed, just refer to it as "that hot post that hit the front page." If you want to complain about other places in general, "other parenting/advice/judgement subs" will suffice. Absolutely under no circumstances should you link to anywhere else.

I can't link to other subs?

• Do not directly link to another sub. (e.g.: "/insertsubnamehere is ridiculously hostile to stepparents!")
• Do not name other subs. (e.g.: "I won't link to it directly, but insertsubnamehere is ridiculously hostile to stepparents!")
• Do not abbreviate other subs. (e.g.: "I know that ISNH is ridiculously hostile to stepparents!")

I can't ping other users?

• Do not summon another user with a username ping/tag. (e.g.: "insertusernamehere was being an asshole.")
• If you are agreeing with someone, it is okay to link to them. (e.g.: "I agree with insertusernamehere, you need to take a couple of steps back and reflect on this.")

What does No Platitudes mean?

• Sanctimonious, overused clichés that grossly oversimplify the stepparenting experience are neither wanted nor allowed here. We have all heard it a thousand times before, we don't need to hear it again. It's not nearly as insightful and wise as some would like to think.

Why don't you people understand it's a package deal?

• Any comment that suggests that OP should have known what they were getting involved with, or that they needed to understand that the kids were part of some package they needed to accept before signing up for marriage is subject to immediate removal.
• This is one of the most insensitive things you can say to a stepparent. Most stepparents were aware of the children, but they were probably not aware of all of the family dynamics.

Why can't you just love them like they are your own?

• Demanding that a stranger you do not know love children that are not biologically theirs as if they were theirs can be incredibly damaging to someone who is already in a vulnerable situation. Any comment that falls along these lines will be removed.

What do you mean by No Trolling? I was just...

• No means no. No trolling. No pretending to be a stepparent and then whipping out the Greatest Hits Bingo Card of The Worst Stepparent in the History of Stepparents. We see you. We've seen you a thousand times.

What does "concern trolling", "gish-galloping", and "sealioning" have to do with stepparenting? This isn't a debate sub, why are you using debate terms?

• That's absolutely right, this isn't a debate sub. And yet, here we are, day after day, having to defend ourselves against this sort of thing. So, enough. No more. Usage of any of these things will get you banned.

What is "Concern Trolling?"

• A concern troll is someone who disingenuously visits sites of an opposing ideology to disrupt conversation by offering unwanted advice on how to solve problems which do not really exist.
  • Example Post: OP expresses concern that she will feel, and possibly act, differently towards her stepchildren after her husband decides that no, he doesn't want anymore children after all.
  • Example Concern Troll pulled from actual mod mail after their comment was removed: "Possible child abuse claims need to be sorted out well before whatever empathy you believe the OP was looking for."

What is a "Devil's Advocate"?

• "I'm just playing devil's advocate here, but have you considered that maybe BM is just really tired and needs a break, too?" BM has dozens of different mom based subs alone on reddit she can complain on, this sub is for stepparents. The stepparent doesn't need to consider that maybe BM is just really tired and needs a break.

"Gish-galloping?" What does that even mean?

• The Gish Gallop is the fallacious debate tactic of drowning your opponent in a flood of individually-weak arguments in order to prevent rebuttal of the whole argument collection without great effort. The Gish Gallop is a conveyor belt-fed version of the on the spot fallacy, as it's unreasonable for anyone to have a well-composed answer immediately available to every argument present in the Gallop.

And "sealioning?" What's that?

• Sealioning involves jumping into a conversation with endless polite, reasonable questions and demands for answers, usually of entry-level topics far below the actual conversation (e.g. "please prove sexism exists"). This tactic differs little from harassment; instead of discussion, the point is to derail discussion, receive criticism (for their ignorance) so as to look like a victim, or to make someone feel overwhelmed and quit talking.

Who gets to define what is considered asshattery?

• The mod team, of course! If we feel that comments are out of line, are trolling, are leading up to a fight or "just asking questions", we are going to remove them and most likely ban the offender.

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FAQ - Sub Questions

Posting Guidelines for Stepparents

• Body text is required, we suggest you use line breaks between paragraphs as a wall of text is difficult to read. Posts that have only a title are likely to be removed. Instead of using names (even fictitious ones), try to use the sub acronyms. It helps our users to follow along if you use the acronyms and not names.
• Assign a post flair that accurately describes what your post is about and what you are seeking. If you are posting an update from a previous post, include a link to that post.
• Flairs are applied to posts to determine what a person is looking for. When submitting a new post, you should choose a flair that specifies if you are looking for advice, support, etc. The following link flair is available and is color coded with side bar links so that you can search by flair:
  • Advice - For when you are specifically asking for advice or help.
  • Announcement - Mod Use Only, for subreddit announcements.
  • Daily (Formerly TTP) - Mod Use Only, for our daily discussion threads.
  • Discussion - A little advice, a little "How does your family handle this?"
  • JustBMThings - Pretty sure this is self explanatory!
  • Legal - Asking for legal advice? Tag it with this!
  • Miscellany - Just a sort of off topic thing? Use this tag.
  • Resource - Sharing a good resource or asking for one? This is the tag you need!
  • Support - For those days when you want nothing but a good old fashioned cry and some community love.
  • Update - Updating us on something that you posted about previously? Use this one!
  • Vent - We all need to vent sometimes. Respect the tag as a vent. This isn't how OP talks all day every day.
  • Win! - Celebrate those wins with us with this tag!
  • Megathread - Mod Use Only, for large mega threads (typically around major calendar events.)

Posting Guidelines for Bioparents

• Stepparents is a support community for stepparents, by stepparents. As bioparents, you may want to have more insight into how the stepparent in your life feels or thinks. You may have questions on how to ease the transition for your partner. However, please keep in mind that this community was not created for you. It was created for your partner or your ex's partner. If you are seeking support on how to deal with a stepparent, there are other subs more suited for your situation and your post is subject to removal.
• There are some posts from bioparents we will accept:
  • Seeking advice on how to support your partner as they navigate stepparenting
  • Seeking resources to help you better support your partner
  • Seeking resources for your partner
• There are some posts from bioparents we will not accept:
  • Complaints about how the stepparent is too involved in your kids lives
  • Vents about how the stepparent is not involved enough in your kids lives
  • "Cautionary tales" advising stepparents to back off
  • Seeking advice on how to tell the stepparent to back off
  • The Do's and Dont's of Stepparenting
  • How your kid's stepmom is literally The Worst
• Comments from bioparents that are helpful and supportive are welcome and appreciated. Comments from bioparents that are not helpful or supportive are not welcome and subject to removal. There are several other subs that may meet the needs of bioparents better than we can. We recommend /coparenting, /parenting, /parents, /blendedfamilies, and /singleparents as starting points.

Guidelines for Stepkids

• At this time, we do not generally accept posts from stepkids. Comments from stepkids that are helpful and supportive are welcome and appreciated. Comments from stepkids that are not helpful or supportive are not welcome and subject to removal. If you are a stepkid seeking support, we highly recommend /stepkids. It is a very supportive community specifically for stepkids. We also recommend /blendedfamilies as another potential group for support.

What the heck are all these acronyms? I'm confused!

• Check out the Common Acronyms wiki page. We try to keep this updated as new terms are introduced to the sub.

Why aren't my posts or comments showing up?

• New posters and accounts go through a waiting period before their posts will show in the sub and the comments on posts automatically. During the new account approval period the mod team will check posts to be sure you aren't attempting to circumvent a ban with a shiny new account. Please be patient while the timer runs down on your "new" status and the mod team approves your posts and responses.

Why was my comment removed?

• Comments are removed when they do not follow the rules of the sub. These rules are published in several places for your reading pleasure.
• Comments are removed at moderator discretion. In some cases your comment may be removed while another remains up. If you find this to be the case, and you believe the comment to be violating the rules, instead of arguing with mods or demanding they remove the additional comments, just report it.

This comment/post is really offensive! Why is it still up?

• All moderators are volunteers and have busy real lives. Sometimes things get past us. The best thing you can do is report anything you find offensive or inflammatory. It's the quickest and most reliable way of alerting us to an issue.

I've received a hurtful/unwanted PM from someone about my recent post. What should I do?

• If you receive an unwanted/hurtful PM from a name you don't recognize, please report it to Reddit Admins using our handy pre-populated form. Be sure to include the permalink to the message. We've been dealing with a few unhappy folks who like to attack stepparents, and reporting it to the admins is the only way to make it stop.

What are the general moderator guidelines?

• Users are expected to know the rules before posting. If you are warned or banned for violating the rules, ignorance is not an excuse.
• Moderators will remove posts and comments and/or lock threads in accordance with the rules above. Typically this happens when threads have gone off-topic in a way that is not productive for the OP, or comments overall have become contentious or disrespectful.
• If a poster continues to argue or to willfully violate these rules, temporary and permanent ban procedures will be followed. Any attempts to avoid or bypass temporary bans will result in a permanent ban. User bans will not be discussed in the sub. Questions posted about user bans are subject to removal and the poster subject to warning/ban procedures. The mod team will not discuss a specific user ban with anyone other than the user involved.
• New accounts are subject to manual approval until they are no longer deemed "new" by the mod team. This helps to weed out trolls and ban evaders.
• We rely on Automoderator to scan for specific words and phrases that are not welcome here and notify the mod team to review the comment or post. This includes slurs of any type and platitudes such as "Love them as your own!"
• The mod team uses a combination of blacklisting and banning when dealing with trolls.
• We employ the use of a bot that automatically bans anyone who comments in subs that have historically harassed our users. If you are picked up by the bot for telling trolls to get fucked, reach out via mod mail and we'll get you sorted out.
• The rules above as well as ban procedures are considered guidelines only; some deviation may be necessary on a case by case basis and/or at the mod team's discretion.

I've been wrongly banned/Why can't I comment here?

• Due to an influx of harassment from users with specific user histories, we have employed a user history ban bot as described above. If you think this has affected you and wish to appeal, please message the mods.

Why was I banned without warning?

• There are numerous reasons that the mod team might opt to move perm banning without warning. Message the moderators if you have specific questions.