Quotes for my husband s birthday

This is not NJ specific but I figured I'd ask my NJ peeps. I want to buy a whiskey smoker kit for my husband for Father's Day. Anyone have one they recommend?
I don't want to buy from Amazon, would prefer something made in the U.S., and under $150.
If I can buy from a local NJ business that would be ideal.
Here are a few I have found so far:
https://www.agedandcharred.com/products/cocktail-smoker-kit
https://birdcreekwhiskey.com/products/whiskey-smoker-kit
https://smokeshowsmoker.com/
https://smokedfashioned.com/collections/frontpage/products/the-forever-cocktail-smoker-kit?variant=42700043419826

I’ve been going through a lot of shit lately & it seems I’ve picked up sexting to cope with it. I discovered months ago that my husband was a porn addict & likely has been for many years. He let his brain rot into some filth that triggered a lot in me from my past traumas. We are separating & ive mourned our relationship but I can’t stop craving attention or sexual desire from others. I’m worried that it’s going to led to me acting out in real life & that’s real scary. I’m in therapy & am on meds nothing seems to be helping. I feel like I do it as a form of self harm it feels good at first but later I hate myself. What else can I do?

Hi DMs,
Gonna be running a oneshot for a girl tonight, they’ve finished BG3 multiple times but never played DND so I figured I’d try a lighthearted oneshot set in a parody of the shire
Their character idea is that of a young noblewoman cast out by their family as latent wild magic abilities become apparent
Her character will then journey to find another outcast family member, an eccentric old wizard that’s her grandfather.
The wizard has taken up residence in a cosy halfling settlement, helping the locals with minor enchantments and is soon to be celebrating his Eleventy First birthday
As the party preparations are underway, there’s a big BBQ/cookout going on and the head chef is using an enchanted Silver Spatula to flip burgers and sausages on the grill, ensuring the perfect sear every time
My encounter idea is that a group of goblins raids the settlement, stealing meat, ale, and the Silver Spatula, spurning the characters to retrieve it and save the BBQ
Maybe a quick social/combat encounter in the Halfling settlement, a bit of exploration to find the goblin cave, and once they reach the end they find a very hungry Ogre flipping fresh Halfling burgers on a grill
Just looking for any tips or ideas for things i could do mechanically or even any funny NPC ideas :) what would you do?
Edit: The pc will be lvl3-5 with the wizard npc follower, maybe another halfling with a frying pan as a martial

I’ve been going through a lot of shit lately & it seems I’ve picked up sexting to cope with it. I discovered months ago that my husband was a porn addict & likely has been for many years. He let his brain rot into some filth that triggered a lot in me from my past traumas. We are separating & ive mourned our relationship but I can’t stop craving attention or sexual desire from others. I’m worried that it’s going to led to me acting out in real life & that’s real scary. I’m in therapy & am on meds nothing seems to be helping. I feel like I do it as a form of self harm it feels good at first but later I hate myself. What else can I do?

Hi, I know people here are very advanced in manifestation. But I think I don’t know how to do it properly. My SP(husband) and I decided to work things after 1 year of living apart and we spent a nice time for 3 days when I went to visit him to talk things over. He was all open to work things out and all but now I’m back here and last 2 days I’ve spent crying and begging him to not end things. He’s saying that he’s done with me and wants a formal divorce as he can’t let go of the past. I feel like I’m back to square one where I’m again at a loss to know what happened. I was positive and confident and happily imagining things now here I am lying in bed and shocked that he can do this to me. This is the second time he’s said this. Last time he did this in December but he agreed that we can maybe take some more time to think. I know people here are very good at manifestation and technique but I just can’t visualise or even do any techniques for more than 2 days without sadness setting in by looking at 3d. I’m scared that he will do what he says and I hate being this helpless and feeling used by him. Please advice. Also I am confused about one thing - what if he’s good at manifesting more than I am and I am his reality mirrored outside in the world. He has amazing self worth and self concept and doesn’t look least bit sad to be ending this. If he didn’t manifest this and I did this, I want to know how. As I don’t think these were ever my dominant thoughts to end. I always imagined that he would come back begging and realise my worth and not be able to move on but it feels like everything is in reverse here.

I don’t know where to start, this will be a long post. If you read through, thank you!
I first stopped speaking to my mother in 2019, I would now describe her as a covert narcissist but at the time I was just fed up with feeling like I was parenting an emotionally volatile teenager every time I spoke to her, every conversation ended in an argument and I was always to blame, always “breaking her heart”. I was an emotional (and on a few occasions as a teen, physical) punching bag and I just couldn’t take it anymore. For a few months her texts would switch between loving, heartbroken and scorned, getting meaner and meaner the longer I left them without a reply. She then started texting my boyfriend (now husband) to tell him how the no-contact was tearing her apart and giving him messages to pass on to me.
Fast forward, I fell pregnant at the end of 2021 and felt that she needed to hear the news from me. Less out of any actual desire to speak to her and more because I didn’t know what she would do if I let her hear it through the grapevine. I had read a couple of books about narcissistic parents by this point and set very clear boundaries for her. I would send her pregnancy updates and ultrasounds but I didn’t want unsolicited advice or constant phone calls and I was absolutely not prepared to hash out our “differences”. This was fine for a couple of months until is wasn’t and she stopped respecting my boundaries, called me non-stop until I answered and told me I was selfish if I didn’t want to talk. I pushed back and she told me to “have a nice life” and blocked me.
Our daughter was born 4 months later and at 4 days post-partum I got a text from her saying “I’m flying to name of my town on Friday, I don’t care if you don’t want to see me. You will show me my granddaughter through the window if you’re still not speaking to me”, I called her in hormonal hysterics while she was with friends and she answered the phone with this unnatural, sickly sweet voice and said “darling, you sound so upset what’s wrong? Do you have support at home?” It was like talking to a stranger, the thought of that phone call still sends a chill down my spine. My dad (they have been divorced for many years) eventually talked her out of the visit and she blocked me again.
This pattern has repeated itself multiple times over the past 2 years since my daughter was born, I set a boundary and she disregards it. I am selfish and she is heartbroken, she blocks me and I don’t hear anything for a couple of months. Then she begs me to unblock her so I can send pictures of her granddaughter. For clarity’s sake, I have never blocked her.
That brings us more or less to today. My family (husband, daughter, dog and I) will be moving overseas for work in about 2 months, this happened suddenly as is the nature of my husband’s job. We found out yesterday and my dad was the first person I told (we have a great relationship), he told his mom (my grandmother) and she told my mother. This morning I received multiple calls followed by a text from her telling me she’d like to have a “little chat”, reluctantly I worked up the courage to call her and she asked me straight away if we were moving overseas, I said yes. She told me “I will be coming to stay before you go” I told her that wouldn’t work, I have a lot on my plate preparing for the move and I would be lying if I said that a visit for her wouldn’t add more stress, she started to yell immediately asking “are you really so selfish that you can’t make time for your own mother?” I asked her to calm down and she said “now you’ve fucking done it, that’s it we’re done” and hung up, the whole call was less than two minutes and I hardly got a word in.
I couldn’t help it, I sat and cried for a while. As much distance as I have tried to put between us, hearing my mother speak to me that way still triggers this feeling inside of me and I revert back to this little child hiding in the corner of my room from my mom’s big feelings. I called her back and asked if we could talk calmly, my exact words were “I think your emotions are controlling you right now and I don’t want to leave things like that” unfortunately, she did not stay calm. She told me her heart was broken for me because one day my daughter would cut me off too and I’ll have regrets about the way I’ve treated my own mother, she said I am a my father’s surname through and through, that I’ve always been a selfish bitch who never thinks about anyone else’s feelings, she then told me to have a nice life (again) and that she never wants to speak to me again. She hung up after that.
I guess I just don’t know where to go from here. I feel sick and anxious and I’m not completely convinced that she won’t just turn up to my house anyway. The words “no-contact” sound so clear cut and linear but I feel like my journey has been anything but. Sometimes I think she’s right and I really am selfish for wanting distance, but accomodating her feelings constantly and mentally preparing for her next emotional tirade every few months is also affecting my ability to be present and healthy in my relationships with my own family.
I should mention that she has made no effort to take accountability for our relationship breakdown in the past 5 years. She will ask if I’m “over it yet” or resort to a disingenuous “fine, I was a terrible mother and I never did anything right” type of apology, she also laughed at me when I asked her to seek therapy if she wants any kind of real relationship in the future.
If you’ve read this far and you’re comfortable sharing, please tell me how you cope with the turbulence of no-contact or with emotionally immature parents in general. I would be so grateful to just know that I’m not alone in this.

I have some frames that I’d like to use for my new prescription. I’m looking for high end lenses and my local shop (Luxury Eyesight in the West Loop) quoted me a price of $613.50 (including tax). That’s a bit too pricey for me.
Anyone have tips for filling prescriptions in Chicago?
Happy June Y’all!!!

Hi all.
Now then, I have a good friend called Tim, he was forced into getting a spiderweb face tattoo on his 18th birthday, what happened was him and his friends went out, Tim got horrendously drunk and his so called friends took him to a backstreet tattoo parlour, one of his so called friends uncles owned the place and gave my friend a face tattoo.
His so called friends took him home and when he woke the next morning and looked in the mirror he nearly fainted in shock, it’s ruined his life, he’s 45 now and if it wasn’t for meeting his girlfriend Beth in 2011 he’d be swinging from a rope in the woods, she saw beyond the tattoo to the person underneath, love bloomed and they now live in a caravan in Sudbury, Tim is a Deliveroo rider, Beth has a small Etsy business.
Anyway things have been going sour, Tim only earns on average around £5 per hour, Beth earns £200 a month, with the rent on the caravan being £500 and with bills and everything this means Beth’s dad has been giving them £800-1000 a month, he owns his own roofing company and employs 9 men so he can well afford it.
The thing is, he detests Tim and calls him a lazy scumbag, Tim is in tears most of the time over it.
Tim has been discriminated against all his life, he’s never held down a job for more than a year or so, he went to an interview for Tesco and Sainsburys, they took one look at his tattoo and basically told him where to go, he was a chef in a country pub and the landlord brought in a new waiter who used to make fun of Tim, my friend told the landlord to sack the waiter, he didn’t, so Tim smashed up the kitchen and walked out, he couldn’t face the abuse from the waiter.
Anyway, Beth was looking online and saw a caravan up for rent in a village outside Chelmsford, it’s slightly cheaper at £475 a month, she could continue her Etsy business and Tim could do his delivering in Chelmsford, they said it would be busier than Sudbury and Tim would earn more money.
They asked me to see what people in Essex think, what would you do if you ordered something and my friend delivered it? He’s got long white hair, worry lines on his face, he’s usually in tears, his clothes are ripped and dirty as he can’t afford new ones and they don’t have a washing machine, and one of the soles is off his trainers.
Would you be pleasant and nice to Tim? Give him a nice tip?
Him and Beth want to know before possibly taking the plunge and moving to Essex.

My husband and I are due in a month with our first! We’re both set on his first name being Everett but we can’t agree on a middle name. Here are our top three:

• Everett Stone (representing nature + growth, feeling grounded + calm, Crestone peaks in Colorado, and Pearl Jam’s lead guitarist)
  
• Everett Alexander (inspired by Alexander Supertramp- Into the Wild)
  
• Everett Jack (family name, husband likes it the best)
  

Honest, third party opinions on the middle names?
Or any other fitting options? We’ve gone through a lot of options to narrow to these three, but in case there’s one we’ve missed that hits the mark for both of us!
Last name starts with A, 4 letters

Just as the title says. I want to start out by saying I do live with my mom along with one of my brothers (19). My mom and I split the bills evenly and I work full time. My mom got divorced back in 2013 to my step dad, before then my mom and I never had a healthy relationship, she always chose her husband and their sons( half brothers) over me. I was in and out of the house living with either friends or grandparents. After the divorce we reconnected and have been getting along since then. Fast forward to now, last night after I got off work she told me she was going out with her boyfriend. I was like okay cool have fun then she told me he was going back to Mexico( where he’s from) & when he gets back she’s going to get married and move her boyfriend and his son in. I was shocked but didn’t say anything after. I want to add that since they’ve been dating my brothers and I never met him not once. We know his name and that’s it. He’s been invited to many dinners and family functions and will ghost my mom or say he’s scared of my brothers “beating him up.” They also NEVER spend time together, maybe like once every five months and they live in the same town. I told her that was weird and she replies “that’s an adult relationship.” I disagree. I know that yes, I can move out, which will take a bit of time for me to gather money to do so but I will do it. I also know one of my brothers (19) that lives with me and my mom will want to leave as well and I’m more than happy for him to live with me & before I get any hate in living with my mom in my 30s, I want to add we’re Mexican and living with parents until marriage is the norm, along with other reasons I chose to stay. The other two brothers (26) & (28) live on their own. I spoke with them and they also said it was very odd but that I can’t do anything about it. I want my mom to be happy but I just find this very odd and I have bad feelings about this.. even if I was on my own I’d still have these feelings. Despite her being independent when she’s with a man she always follows the man’s lead even at the cost of her children, atleast that’s how it was for me growing up. He has three more children he wants to bring and move in with my mom. We don’t have enough room for them, we live in a three bedroom two bath single wide. Years ago she mentioned this when we lived in another house and wanted to move him and all his children in and my brother was still in highschool so she didn’t do that but know that’s their goal. I just want to know if I’m over reacting? I want her to be happy but there’s so many red flags, atleast to me. How do I bring this up to her without sounding like I’m being selfish?

Gonna be running a oneshot for a girl tonight, they’ve finished BG3 multiple times but never played DND so I figured I’d try a lighthearted oneshot set in a parody of the shire
Their character idea is that of a young noblewoman cast out by their family as latent wild magic abilities become apparent
Her character will then journey to find another outcast family member, an eccentric old wizard that’s her grandfather.
The wizard has taken up residence in a cosy halfling settlement, helping the locals with minor enchantments and is soon to be celebrating his Eleventy First birthday
As the party preparations are underway, there’s a big BBQ/cookout going on and the head chef is using an enchanted Silver Spatula to flip burgers and sausages on the grill, ensuring the perfect sear every time
My encounter idea is that a group of goblins raids the settlement, stealing meat, ale, and the Silver Spatula, spurning the characters to retrieve it and save the BBQ
Maybe a quick social/combat encounter in the Halfling settlement, a bit of exploration to find the goblin cave, and once they reach the end they find a very hungry Ogre flipping fresh Halfling burgers on a grill
Just looking for any tips or ideas for things i could do mechanically or even any funny NPC ideas :) what would you do?
Edit: The pc will be lvl3-5 with the wizard npc follower, maybe another halfling with a frying pan as a martial

I had a miscarriage 2 months ago and I'm really eager to start trying again. My husband had a business trip last weekend and was supposed to be back during my ovulation week. He was meant to return yesterday, right at the peak of my ovulation. Unfortunately, his meeting went so well that he has to stay until next Tuesday.
So, he couldn't come back for BDing! I'm trying not to make a big deal out of it because it's not his fault and I'm happy his business is doing well. But I'm really mad that there's no chance of conception this cycle. I feel like I've wasted a perfectly good fertile window because of his business trip.
I did an ovulation test today and it’s showing negative, so I’m raging. I don't even feel like having sex until my next ovulation now! Not sure what I'm asking—just needed to vent!

Hi all,
I know I’m going to get comments saying Islamically hijab is fard, which you’re right, it is. I’m not saying it’s not, but we also have free choice and should not be pressured.
My husbands family is very conservative but traditionally so, the women all wear dupatta on their head and not really hijab.
I’ve started to make more of an effort to pray and my MIL keeps telling me to wear dupatta on my head and keeps coming up to me and puts it on my head. My other sister in laws wear it and so I keep being pressured by only my MIL.
I live separately but see my in laws pretty much everyday. My husband says to ignore my MIL but it’s pretty hard! Many girls in the family wear the dupatta but don’t pray but it’s ok bc they are wearing the loose scarf on their head. Honestly, this isn’t the way to bring someone closer to actually wearing the hijab, it’s doing the opposite.
I’ve made every single compromise for my MIL/in laws but no compromise made on their behalf for me, which is really upsetting. What can I do to get my MIL off my back?

Hey there, I need some advice on whether it's appropriate or just absurd to send a birthday letter and a small gift to my ex-girlfriend. Our situation is a bit complicated, so here's some background:
My ex and I had a relationship that spanned two significant periods. We met, got together, separated (without discussing it at all; we just drifted apart), and then almost a year later, we got back together. We broke up for the second time about three months ago.

• In our first relationship, we had significant lack of communication. I was very avoidant and stressed, which made me distant even though I wanted to be with her and truly loved her. She tried to connect with me, but I just couldn't reciprocate. After our first breakup, I realized what went wrong and started to work on myself, digging deep into my issues and aiming for personal growth. She unknowingly pushed me towards this self-improvement journey.
• We rekindled our relationship around six months ago. This time, I was the one trying to connect, but she had been through a lot in the past year, including a traumatic event, which I won't go into detail about. She wanted the relationship mentally but was emotionally too hurt and tired to commit fully. She has a lot on her plate: a full-time job, started her Bachelor’s studies, and has issues at home with her parents. After two months, she chose not to continue the relationship, feeling it wasn’t fair to me as she couldn’t be fully present, although she saw that I was willing to stay, fight for us, be patient with her, and sit in the mud with her.
• During our breakup talk, I gave her a therapeutic gift so she can draw in her alone time or whenever she likes (she loves to draw but didn’t have many opportunities to do so in the past year). We ended things positively, holding hands while walking around the park and saying "see you later" instead of a formal goodbye.
• I've been focusing on personal growth since then and am not looking to get back together. I genuinely see it as better for her to have the time to heal and get stronger. I wish her all the best because she deserves to be happy.

Her birthday is coming up, and I want to send her a short positive WhatsApp message to congratulate her and say that I've left her something small in her mailbox, hoping it will bring a smile to her face. The gift I want to make it handmade, along with a letter expressing my congratulations and appreciation.
My Conflict: I don't want to overstep any boundaries or make her feel uncomfortable. My wish is simply to make her something special. I aim to respect her space while showing this kind gesture. However, I worry about the potential of triggering negative emotions or discomfort.
So, the question is: Should I go ahead with this, or would it be better to keep my distance and let her celebrate without any of my input?
Any advice or similar experiences would be greatly appreciated.
P.S.: I'm ready for any feedback, and if I seem like I was or am a jerk, believe me, I have heard it all from myself. I really don't like the version of myself from the past year and there is really no excuse for my actions and the way I neglected her and our relationship. I also see things I still need to improve.
TL;DR: Ex-girlfriend's birthday is coming up. We broke up three months ago after a complicated relationship. I want to deliver her a handmade gift and letter but worry it might be inappropriate or make her uncomfortable. Should I go ahead or keep my distance and just send a normal message not too long and not too short?
Thank you in advance!!

I'm gonna have to be vague for obvious reasons, but I just needed to get this off my chest. I'm working at a place with Ashley, and she still thinks she's not in the wrong. Literally on her first day on the job, she talked about how she has 100k followers on tiktok and when my other coworker asked her about advice on growing a business on tiktok, she said to not to doxx yourself. Like that's literally the most obvious thing ever, but that's not the worst part of it. She has talked about how, and I quote, "the people on tiktok took away her kids" by basically spam calling wellness checks. I had always thought she was weird and it threw me off more when she acted like she knew me personally when she can't even remember my birthday and has probably asked like 4 times on separate days. She also pretty much begged for people not to look her up on tiktok and that she hated it when she would go out in public at the store and she has no idea who and who doesn't know her, like girl just delete the acc. I normally never use reddit but idk where else I could've posted this anonymous. Moral of the story I work with Ashley and she still thinks she's not in the wrong, at all.

Hi all,
I know I’m going to get comments saying Islamically hijab is fard, which you’re right, it is. I’m not saying it’s not, but we also have free choice and should not be pressured.
My husbands family is very conservative but traditionally so, the women all wear dupatta on their head and not really hijab.
I’ve started to make more of an effort to pray and my MIL keeps telling me to wear dupatta on my head and keeps coming up to me and puts it on my head. My other sister in laws wear it and so I keep being pressured by only my MIL.
I live separately but see my in laws pretty much everyday. My husband says to ignore my MIL but it’s pretty hard! Many girls in the family wear the dupatta but don’t pray but it’s ok bc they are wearing the loose scarf on their head. Honestly, this isn’t the way to bring someone closer to actually wearing the hijab, it’s doing the opposite.
I’ve made every single compromise for my MIL/in laws but no compromise made on their behalf for me, which is really upsetting. What can I do to get my MIL off my back?

But she is HUGE lol. I put a king size pillow above my pillow for her every single night and she is outgrowing it. This might be a stupid question but Does anyone know of a product or solution that wedges between the wall and the bed and is meant for cats who sleep above their owners head?
More of a nice to have, but I would love if my feet didn’t hang off the bed to accommodate her for the next 15-20 years 😂 she’s bonded to me and won’t do this with my husband. Just me. It’s special but there’s gotta be something out there. I googled, couldn’t find much.

This might be long and might be incoherent, but this is the first time I feel like I have actually found a safe space to unload all of this and I haven’t done that before so bear with me.
I am married with 3 kids. My twin is married with 2 kids. I know that reunion is not possible. He lives states away, we have been no contact for 12 years - and that is what is so freaking frustrating. It has been 12 YEARS. And, we were teenagers when we met. Shouldn’t I have grown out of these feelings?
I met my TF in high school. I was in a relationship with my now husband when we met. I honestly made it no secret I was in love with my twin, even with having a boyfriend. My twin made it no secret he was in love with me, too.
He ended up moving back to the state he had recently moved to my town from, and I wrote him this long letter telling him how much I love him, but I honestly couldn’t bring myself to leave my boyfriend. He truly made me believe if I left, he would kill himself. And I couldn’t do that. He was also a good boyfriend, sweet and funny. How could I do that to him, right?
Well, me and my twin kept in contact for a little while after he left, but my boyfriend hated it and I was so afraid of what he would do. He became good friends with my family, and my mom told me I needed to stop talking to my twin because of my boyfriend. I’m 15 years old at this time, so I listened to her because I mean I couldn’t really think for myself and I was confused.
Now I am married to that boyfriend, and my twin is in another state married to his wife.
A lot of the times, I can try and convince myself I am happy the way things are. My husband is sweet, he’s kind, he’s a good dad, and we genuinely enjoy each others company. I can’t imagine ever hurting him or my kids. And I’d never ever ask my twin to hurt his wife and kids either (especially because, like I said, haven’t talked in 12 years)
But still, everyday I find myself hoping and praying that I’ll run into him somehow. That he’ll have come back to visit (my hometown where I still live is also his hometown, he had moved and then came back and then moved again) and we will bump into each other on the street. I find myself wishing I could hold him in my arms just once. That I could talk to him, hear his voice just once. He consumes my mind, and I feel like it’s driving me crazy.
I try to convince myself that I’m actually just in some kind of spiritual psychosis, and that this whole concept is just bull and I am just trying to find a way to excuse my confusing feelings toward him as a way to try and lessen the guilt that I feel for having them. I see synchronicities of 777, 444, 1111, 222 every single day, multiple times a day. That really isn’t helping me AT ALL either.
How on earth do I let go? How do I move on? I don’t want to miss him like this anymore. I am tired of craving something I absolutely cannot have. I’m 27 years old, I haven’t seen him since I was 15. So why haven’t I grown out of the feelings? Why can’t I forget him after 12 years of absolutely no contact? It hurts so much. And I don’t think he believes in the concept of twin flames. I’m almost certain this is a completely one sided feeling, hence why I want to make myself truly believe this is just spiritual psychosis.
Still, everyday I whisper to myself “I love my husband…but he will never be HIM”.
I don’t want to hurt like this anymore.

Athena:
Athena, as the protector of the citadel, maintains her virginity as a symbolic reference to the inviolability of the polis: Just as she is not penetrated, neither are the city walls.4 Perhaps more significantly, Athena’s character is functionally androgynous; that is to say, while her sex is female, her gender is strongly masculine. Although she does partake of the feminine task of weaving especially, she is a goddess of warfare and strategy, and protector of the citadel. In the mundane lives of the Greek mortals, such activities were properly in the realm of men. Athena, then, had a strong masculine overlay upon her female sex, such that it was not conceivable for her to submit to a male sexually, or to be distracted with pregnancy and maternity. Furthermore, as she herself states to the audience in Aeschylus’ Eumenides (ll. 735–738), “I approve the male in all things—except marriage—with all my heart.” Athena is a guide and comrade to the male, his companion in the field and, one might say, at the drawing board. But she cannot fulfill such a function and be liable to eroticism: She does not submit to males, sexually or otherwise, because she is one of them, and their superior at that, being a goddess.
Hestia:
Hestia must remain a virgin because of her embodiment of stability. Her role as virgin tender of the fire is important for understanding ancient Greek conceptions of the family. The Greeks were patriarchal and patrilocal, meaning men wielded greater control in politics, law, and economics, and that women left their natal families upon marriage to join their husbands’ families. There was always a certain distrust of wives, strangers in the paternal household who could still have loyalties to their own families, or who could form greater bonds with their children than with a husband and his clan. Furthermore, there was a general anxiety present in same-sex familial relationships. Sons inevitably enforce the notion of the father’s mortality, and sons or grandsons often cause a (grand)father’s death in literature, like Oidipous and his father Laius. Mothers and daughters might form close bonds, but those bonds are inevitably severed when the daughter leaves her family to join a husband’s household, as with Demeter and “Persephonê. Thus, the closest familial bonds are between mother and son, and father and daughter. However, as with the mother–daughter bond, the father–daughter bond is constrained by the daughter’s need to leave home upon marriage. In human life, then, a father’s closest familial ally is temporary. The lives of the gods, however, were not so constrained, and in Hestia existed the ideal paternal ally: the daughter who did not marry but who clung to the paternal hearth, ultimately loyal to the paternal line. Just as the hearth is the solid center of the household, the virgin daughter, on the divine plane, is the solid center of the family. Hestia, being both, is more than just a hearth goddess for the Greeks: She is the personification of stability.
Artemis:
Artemis is forever a virgin because she, like her brother, never grows up. She is the perpetually nubile maiden, always just on the verge of fertile maturity, but never passing the threshold into domestic maternity. She is not asexual, like Athena or Hestia, but eternally on the cutting edge of sexuality without going over.