Hi All - I am on Metoprolol Succinate, 25mg daily once per day, primarily to control heart palpitations, as well as to lower BP.
However, a week ago, I switched to a vegan diet, which is known to reduce BP just by itself, and my BP (which I check 2x per day) has been lower...a little too low....like 101 over 70.
So for some reason, I misunderstood and thought that because my tablet is scored down the middle, that I can take half-doses....and I did just that. I took a half-dose at 0800am, and felt funny, so I took the second half-dose at 12pm.
I did this today, and now I feel even MORE strange....dizziness, slight nausea and a strange uneasy feeling in the chest area.
Long story short - I did not take more than the daily dosage prescribed....just had spread the prescribed dose out over several hours (half a dose in the morning, and half a dose in the afternoon), and now feel strange and uneasy. Could be me just being paranoid. Should I go to the ER?

*by the way, I am not buying it right now, maybe later in the summer if I like photography which is looking good so far*. Anyways, so my dad just dug up a Pentax *ist DL and I'm liking it so far. I want to see for, in the future, if there are any viable options for a new camera. My main issues with it:

1. hard to control settings, I still am confused on where to set exposure, for example
2. no live view. The viewfinder is fine for some shots, but if the camera needs to be low-to-the ground or at a weird angle, which it is pretty often, it's super hard to see the shot.

So now I am looking for cameras. I know this is a long-shot, but I want an old(ER) budget DSLR with live view and decent performance (comparable/better than the *ist DL) and just a camera that's easy to learn with. My budget is about $100, if it's slightly above it then still let me know because this isn't a strict budget, but under $140 for sure. All I want is the camera w/ a basic lens, a few lenses would be nice but I doubt that's viable.
Thanks for any recommendations!

Hi all, hoping the sub can help me with 2 litter box issues that I have just not been able to solve myself. Sorry for the text wall!
Background: I have two big ol 20 pound boy cats, very tall and long, comparable in size to Maine coons. One of them is an edge pee-er (sit right up against the edge and pee straight out of the box) so I need a box with high sides all around. I have tried 5-6 different “XL” litter boxes and none of them are big enough, including this one I bought a few days ago that I linked here. And others that are bigger dont have high enough sides.
Im open to a litter box with or without a cover, even though I think without is better especially for tall cats, but those without covers aren’t as great for cats who pee out of the box.

1. Anyways, all that to say, does anyone have a recommendation for an XXL litter box? (I need it at least a 3rd larger than the one I linked, it’s just too small for them).
   
2. My other cat has some stress litter habits and jumps in and out all the time. I’ve been using “Worlds Best Cat Litter” and it used to work great but lately it’s become SO SO dusty. (Cat prints everywhere gross!) Does anyone have a good recommendation for cat litter that has little to no dust?
   

Thank you!!

Quotes from Sasakis Record of Linji book. Seriously the notes are super thorough. Google it, get a PDF or buy it for 27 bucks on Amazon. Read all of it including the notes.
I'll post the quote, relevant notes, and my thoughts so it has some original content and this isn't just some ctrl c Ctrl p post.

““If you wish to diff er in no way from the patriarch-buddha, just don’t seek outside. “The pure light in a single thought of yours—this is the dharmakāya buddha within your own house. The nondiscriminating light in a single thought of yours—this is the saṃbhogakāya buddha within your own house. The nondifferentiating light in a single thought of yours—this is the nirmāṇakāya buddha within your own house. This threefold body is you, listening to my discourse right now before my very eyes. It is precisely because you don’t run around seeking outside that you have such meritorious activities.

Note
The pure light… within your own house In this passage Linji speaks of the human body as a house that is the dwell- ing place of the trikāya, the threefold body of buddha 三身, which reveals its presence through the three aspects of each instant of human thought. Th e three bodies of the trikāya are:

1. Dharmakāya 法身: the unconditioned, absolute buddha, beyond all form. Th e dharmakāya is buddha viewed as truth itself, and as such is the essence of wis- dom and purity. Linji is referring to this latter attribute when he characterizes the light of the mind in its fi rst manifes- tation as 清淨 (Skr., pariśuddha), that is, pure and free from any defi lement. Th e dharmakāya is symbolically represented by Vairocana Buddha, whose name means “omni- present light,”
   
2. Saṃbhogakāya 報身: the “reward” or “recompense” body. Th is is the body that a buddha receives as a reward for fulfi ll- ing the vows taken during bodhisattva- hood. It is defined under two aspects: as the body received for the buddha’s own enjoyment 自受用身, and as that received for the sake of others 他受用身. In this second aspect the saṃbhogakāya reveals itself to the bodhisattvas, to whom alone it is traditionally said to be visible, in order to enlighten and inspire them. A typical representation of the saṃbhogakāya is Amitābha/Amitāyus Buddha.
   
3. Nirmāṇakāya 化身 or 應身: the body that the buddha assumes when, in human form, he appears in the world for the purpose of bringing enlightenment to others. A typical representation of the nirmāṇakāya is Śākyamuni Buddha.
   

Th e doctrine of the threefold body of bud- dha is confi ned to Mahayana Buddhism, although undoubtedly its origin can be found in ideas that arose in the older Bud- dhist traditions.
Me:
We can see right from the get go, interpreting the trikaya as something outside is the nonzen way of going about it. Trying to understand them apart from ourself is seeking outside. The notes make it clear that no one considered Shakymuni to have more than one body, the "bodies" were represented by other Buddhas, these other Buddhas are from various sutras.

““According to the masters of the sutras and śāstras, the dharmakāya is regarded as basic substance and the saṃbhogakāya and nirmāṇakāya as function. From my point of view the dharmakāya cannot expound the dharma. Th erefore a man of old said, ‘Th e [buddha-]bodies are posited depending upon meaning; the [buddha-]lands are postulated in keep- ing with substance.’ So we clearly know that the dharma-nature body and dharma-nature land are fabricated things, based on dependent understand- ing. Empty fi sts and yellow leaves used to fool a child! Spiked-gorse seeds! Horned water chestnuts! What kind of juice are you looking for in such dried-up bones!

Notes:
According to the masters…. Compare this passage to the words of Linji’s teacher Huangbo in the cf:
A buddha has thre e b o dies. The dharmakāya preaches the dharma of the universal voidness of self-nature; the saṃbhogakāya preaches the dharma of the universal purity of things; the nirmāṇakāya preaches the dharmas of the six pāramitās [see page 211, below] and all other good practices. Th e dharma of the dharmakāya cannot be grasped through words, sounds, forms, or the written word. Th ere is nothing to be said, nothing to be demonstrated; there is nothing other than the universal voidness of self-nature. Th us it is said, “Th ere is nothing to be preached as the dharma; this is called preaching the dharma.” Th e saṃbhogakāya and the nirmāṇakāya both appear in response to particular circumstances, and the dharma they preach corresponds to outer con- ditions and to their listeners’ capacities; in this way they guide sentient beings. None of this is the true dharma. There- fore it is said, “Th e saṃbhogakāya and the nirmāṇakāya are not the true buddha, nor are they the ones who preach the dharma.” (t 48: 382a)
Dependent understanding translates 依通, an unusual term that is not found outside of Chan writings. Japanese com- mentators take it to be an abbreviation of the phrase 依倚通解, “understanding that depends upon something else.” In the section of the gy devoted to Nanquan Puyuan, an exchange between Nanquan and a certain monk is recorded:
Th e monk asked, “Is a student not permit- ted to understand the Way?” Th e master said, “To understand what Way? Also, how understand?” “I don’t know,” the monk said. Th e master said, “Not knowing is all right, but if you take my words you will be called one of dependent understanding.” (x 68: 70a)
Th e wl of Huangbo Xiyun has:
But to one who has seen into his own nature, what place is not his own original nature? Th erefore the six gati (destinies); the four ways of birth; and the mountains, rivers, and great earth, all are the pure and bright substance of our own nature. Therefore it is said, “Seeing form is no other than seeing mind, because form and mind are not diff erent.” One who accepts form and, on this basis, sees, hears, and perceives, and who then tries to see into [nature] by reject- ing things as such—such a one will fall into the ranks of those in the two vehicles [śrāvakas and pratyekabuddhas], whose understanding is dependent 依倚通解. (x 68: 21b)
Empty fi sts and yellow leaves used to fool a child! translates the two expres- sions 空拳黃葉、用誑小兒, metaphors for something that is passed off for what it is not. They are found frequently in the Nirvana Sutra and other scriptures. The Mahā-prajñā-pāramitā Sutra, for example, uses the expression “empty fi st” 空拳 as a metaphor for deceiving others with false views:
It is like deceiving a young lad with an empty fi st. Because he is ignorant he thinks there is something real in it. (t 7: 1104c)
And the Northern Nirvana Sutra uses “yellow leaf ” 黃葉 to indicate expedient teachings:
It is as, when a child cries and wails, its father and mother will pull a yellow leaf from a poplar tree and say, “Don’t cry! Don’t cry! We will give you a piece of gold.” Th e child, on seeing the yellow leaf, imagines it to be pure gold and at once stops crying, though in truth this poplar leaf is not gold. (t 12: 485c)
Dried-up bones translates 枯骨, an expression likely deriving from an alle- gory that is found in texts like the Zhengfa nianchu jing 正法念處經 (Sutra on con- templating the true dharma) and the Da baoji jing, in which a dog licking a dried bone mistakes its own saliva for juice from the bone.
Me: I think it's pretty obvious just from these bits that the three body of Buddha has nothing to do with the man Siddhartha Gautama. We can also see that they are founded in Buddhist Sutras. Most of what Zen masters say is based on their understanding of sutras. These terms were expedients, like literally all of the teachings of Buddha and all the Zen masters. Gold leaves to stop children crying, a phrase which also originated from a sutra

Hello all, I’m writing here full of anxiety and it seems I just can’t stop crying.
In December 15th, my mom got a huge spike of fever, every time she ate, her body temperature went under the roof. She finally agreed to call an ambulance. After 16hs at the hospital we heard a diagnosis - perforated diverticulitis in several places, emergency surgery and colostomy needed. She went through it, spend 5 days not knowing she will live or die. She spend two weeks in a hospital. Seeing my mom this way, scared, hopeless, weak, was the hardest thing I had to witness. My heart shattered in million pieces, but I’m so so glad she was alive.
Once we got home, after rehabilitation, things started to go back to normal step by step. Still taking antibiotics, but she was up and about. One hell of a strong woman my mom is!. But to our surprise - temperature rise again - her incision wound got infected. Another round of antibiotics - no success. As we live in a small town, healthcare system could not do as many tests as she needed - I brought her back to my place to the capital of the country and brought her to the er - 10 cm capsule of infected puss under her surgical incision. They cut it out and took a sample - three different gut bacteria’s were living under her skin. Three different antibiotics to fight it off- for 40 fucking days. I seen my mom cry, I see her face and the words “I’m so tired of being sick” was hurting the most. But finally, April 3rd - mom crp levels were back to normal.
We found a best doctor in an area, and went to meet him. His empathy hypnotised us - mom got scheduled for a reversal surgery May 17th. As she said - it was easier the first time - all the anxiety and waiting for the surgery, thinking about complications, dreaming of shitting herself in front of the class ( she is a biology teacher) everything seemed like too much. As mom and i are best friends, we are a team, I could feel her anxiety, but not imagine what she went through and still had to go through.
She got her colostomy reversal surgery 48 hours ago. As she said, she cannot compare it with the first time, it’s much easier. Also, she passes gas every time she moves (today was the first time she stood up and went to the bathroom and passed some mucous!). Her temperature is a bit elevated, but nurses said it’s fine and expected after such surgery. but I’m so scared we have to go through the same path again - long and painful reabilitation, shitloads of antibiotics, mom losing all her hope and I’m unable to help :(
My mom is in her 60s. No illnesses apart from this situation, all her blood work is better than mine (I’m 28) 😅 she is so strong and I’m so proud of her, but also so soooo scared.
Maybe someone been in similar situation regarding this journey? How can I help my mom? Is it as hard to recover form reversal as it is from original surgery? What she can expect? I need some insights I’m so lost and want to be the best for my mom and her recovery journey.

Record temperatures, record migration, record emissions, record displacement, record PFAS……start building an ark.
Last Week in Collapse: May 12-18, 2024
This is Last Week in Collapse, a weekly newsletter compiling some of the most important, timely, useful, soul-crushing, ironic, stunning, exhausting, or otherwise must-see/can’t-look-away moments in Collapse.
This is the 125th newsletter! You can find the May 5-11 edition here if you missed it last week. You can also receive these posts (with images) every Sunday in your email inbox with Substack.
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Flash flooding in northern Afghanistan killed 300+ people and destroyed 1,000+ homes. Hundreds of thousands of others have been affected. Last month, similar floods in the region killed 70+. Four died in Texas storms last week as well.
Venezuela is suffering from record wildfires, which so far this year have burned about 5M acres—almost the size of Sardinia. Some experts think indigenous people started the blaze as an attempt at forest clearance, which quickly got out of hand. “Institutional failures” compounded the disaster when the ailing government responded with an inadequate number of poorly equipped firefighters. Another study from last week examined the impact of wildfires on soil health.
Flooding and “cold lava” killed 50+ in Indonesia, injuring dozens and displacing several thousand. Cold lava is a mixture of water and rocks tumbling down the side of a volcano. Meanwhile, an actual volcano erupted in Indonesia, sending smoke & ash 5000m high; further eruptions are possible soon.
The Swiss Re Institute published a 37-page report last week about natural disasters in 2023—and how much damage, in USD, they caused. The largest catastrophe was the February 7.8 earthquake in Türkiye & Syria, which killed 59,000+ people and caused $163B+ in damage. The report is full of interesting graphics & data about natural disasters.

“Last year, economic losses from natural catastrophes reached USD 280 billion, meaning that 62% of the global losses were uninsured….the insured losses surpassed USD 100 billion for the fourth consecutive year….annual insured losses will grow by 5–7% over the long term…today’s insured losses could double in 10 years….There were 142 insured-loss inducing catastrophes in 2023, a new record. Most were of medium severity, which we define as events resulting in losses of USD 1–5 billion….Over the last 30 years, we estimate that natural catastrophe insured losses have grown by 3 percentage points more annually than the global economy (in inflation adjusted terms)...”

Flooding and heat waves are impacting Brazil’s oranges, responsible for about 70% of the world’s supply. One food analysts declared that the “era of cheap food is over”—in the UK, at least. That may be one reason why UK residents took record food bank packages last year. Madagascar is struggling to adapt to a future with far less rainfall.
France is growing more concerned about a dam on Lake Geneva, controlled exclusively by Switzerland. The Rhône River, which begins in Switzerland and flows south through France, is shrinking in summers as climate change melts Switzerland’s remaining glaciers.
The Tonlé San River has been dammed in Vietnam, lowering the level in Cambodia and sometimes drying the river downstream entirely. Meanwhile, China’s lychee harvest is getting blasted by rain, impacting the world’s largest source of lychee. And, once again, Saudi Arabia is suffering flooding in its inland regions. 7 dead in historic flooding in Iran.
The eminent climate scientist James Hansen posted that, since “human-made aerosols and their cooling effect are in decline,” the cooling effect of La Niña will be counterbalanced by these rising temperatures. He also identifies a “large anomaly of increased absorbed solar radiation at midlatitudes in the Northern Hemisphere” responsible for rising temperatures there. CO2 levels are rising faster today than they have at any point in the previous 50,000 years…and a study of millennia-old trees determined last summer was the hottest worldwide in 2,000+ years…
Record nighttime May temperatures were tied in the Philippines and Vietnam. A couple Indonesian cities broke records for May temperatures. And a number of southern African states saw more records drop. And Toronto saw a record tied for the number of days reaching 14 °C (57 °F). A heat wave has returned to Bangladesh. Flooding in Cali (pop: 2.9M), Colombia.
The University of Washington was ordered to stop a geoengineering project that scientists sere conducting from the deck of a decommissioned aircraft carrier. The experiment ejected aerosolized saltwater in an attempt to reflect solar radiation. A comparative study in Nature Communications of a number of carbon pricing found that, yes, carbon pricing does work to reduce the total CO2 emitted.
It’s that time of the year again. Wildfires in Canada grow, some of which are moving towards the tar sands—forcing thousands to evacuate. 39 of the total nation’s blazes are “out of control,” resulting in air quality alerts in the United States. Meanwhile, across the Caribbean, water shortages have become the new normal, and residents (and tourists) are finding their old consumption habits hard to change. St. Lucia has declared a water emergency. In Myanmar, water shortages worsen, particularly as related to the spiraling conflict.
At least ⅛ of Europeans live in a place at risk of extreme flooding—so says a 175-page report from the European Environment Agency posted on Wednesday. The number of people living in flood-risk coastal areas in the EU & UK is expected to jump 24% by 2050. The graphics-packed report also considers how flooding will impact healthcare facilities, mental health, wastewater treatment plants, the spread of disease, cyanobacteria, permafrost thaw, and much else.

“Europe has seen devastating floods following record rainfall, droughts of magnitudes not experienced in hundreds of years, continuing sea level rise, and increasing lake and sea temperatures….permanent water stress already affects 30% of people in southern Europe….since 2018, more than half of Europe has been impacted by extreme drought conditions….Climate change is expected to increase mercury bioaccumulation in the marine food chain due to rising ocean temperatures, ocean acidification and permafrost thawing….Depression, anxiety and PTSD may persist for years after a flooding event….Under the changing climate, northern Europe is becoming wetter in general, but drier in summer. Southern Europe is becoming drier, especially in winter. For central-eastern and western Europe, the trend is less clear…” -selections from the report

Milan suffered flooding last week, the worst May flooding in 170 years. Early spring in the UK has disrupted migratory bird species and their usual patterns.
A 74-page working paper which is not yet peer-reviewed claims that earlier estimates for how much GDP would be impacted by another 1 °C temperature rise is way less than it would be in actuality. The paper claims the real cost (in USD) is about 6x greater. They claim “global temperature has much more pronounced impacts on economic activity than local temperature” and that extreme weather is mostly behind the projected decline in productivity.
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Epidemiologists are worried about how climate change in Africa may extend the life of disease-bearers like ticks and mosquitoes. Other epidemiologists are worried about how cattle may become a permanent reservoir for H5N1. Growing traced of bird flu have been found in wastewater testing in the U.S., but investigators think it may be runoff from infected dairy farms.
Obesity, high blood sugar, and high blood pressure rates today globally are 50% higher than in 2000—though researchers claim that air pollution still poses a larger threat. Of a study participants in Hawai’i, 75% had respiratory issues, probably from the Maui wildfires last year.
The 2024 World Migration Report is out, and its 384 pages are not as apocalyptic as one might think. However, internally displaced people are at their all-time highest. India, Mexico, Russia, China, and Syria lead the world in emigrants; another document contains the definitions for who exactly constitutes a migrant. Unfortunately much of the data relied upon ends in 2022. Data from this year, not included in the above report, indicates a 40% jump in traffic through the Darien Gap compared to the same time period in 2023.

“The last two years saw major migration and displacement events that have caused great hardship and trauma, as well as loss of life….There have also been large-scale displacements triggered by climate- and weather-related disasters in many parts of the world in 2022 and 2023, including in Pakistan, the Philippines, China, India, Bangladesh, Brazil and Colombia….disinformation tactics are increasingly being used by nefarious actors with negative impacts on public, political and social media discourse on migration….Forced displacement is the highest on record in the modern era…overconsumption and overproduction linked to unsustainable economic growth, resource depletion and biodiversity collapse, as well as ongoing climate change (including global heating) are continuing to grip the world….the risk of further conflict has not been higher in decades, as military spending reached a new record high of USD 2,240 billion in 2022…” -excerpts from the introduction

Another report, focusing on internal displacement, came out last week; its 69 pages show a cross-section of about 47M people displaced by natural disasters (56%) or armed conflict (44%). Most of the disasters were storms & flooding, and most of the conflicts were civil wars of some form. This report also provides detailed region-by-region analyses—with sub-Saharan Africa accounting for 46% of global IDPs.

“Conflict and violence triggered 13.5 million movements, the highest figure for the past 15 years….Disasters and conflict are presented as different triggers, but their impacts can overlap, often leading to repeated and/ or protracted displacement….Drought triggered 331,000 displacements in Somalia….Floods triggered 550,000 displacements in Ethiopia….Conflict and violence triggered 3.8 million displacements in DRC in 2023, a slight fall from the record four million in 2022, but still the second-highest figure globally after Sudan….nearly two-thirds of the internal displacements recorded in 2023 originated from Khartoum state. More than 39 per cent of the state's inhabitants were forced to flee, leaving entire neighbourhoods empty….Criminal and communal violence triggered nearly three-quarters of Nigeria's 291,000 conflict displacements….” -selections from the spotlight on sub-Saharan Africa

Experts are concerned about the mental health impacts that climate change has on our minds. Hotter temperatures reportedly increase depression & aggression. Wildfires and storms can cause PTSD. Workers feel stress and desperation as their usual industries are impacted. And air pollution influences ordinary brain processes in many ways.
Some analysts believe “Peak China” may be over, signaling a period of economic tapering-off, as well as a growing militancy. Increasing U.S. tariffs on Chinese goods are continuing to separate the two economies. The Netherlands finally formed a provisional government, though its proposed immigration & farming policies have set it at odds with the EU.
The Federal Reserve, the U.S. central bank, released a 46-page report on potential climate risks to the banking system’s resilience. As far as I understood, most of the risk lies in extreme weather events and the risk to insurance agencies.
Part of southeast England experienced an outbreak of Cryptosporidium, a diarrhea & vomiting illness, highly contagious, which can last weeks. At least 22 cases have been reported. Meanwhile, the CDC is issuing warnings about the more dangerous strain of monkeypox circulating in the DRC, although cases are currently limited to Africa.
North Carolina’s Senate voted to ban mask-wearing last week, under the reasoning that it would make police identification of protestors difficult. An fMRI study found lasting neurological changes in COVID survivors; they “had significantly higher cognitive complaints of mental fatigue and cognitive failure….even two years after recovering.” Experts say a summer rise in COVID cases is coming to the United States.
A study on The Canadian/American Great Lakes found that PFAS levels are increasing in the 3 largest lakes (Superior, Huron, and Michigan), while decreasing in the other two (Erie, Ontario). The study also found that precipitation is the primary means by which the Lakes are accumulating PFAS, since the chemicals are small & stable enough to move through the water cycle. Meanwhile, in England’s Lake District, a telecom failure resulted in raw sewage being pumped into England’s largest and most famous lake, Windermere, on-and-off for 10 hours; and a major British water CEO took a $4M USD pay package last year. And a look into the Chicago River’s health found that microplastics & trash are endangering health & biodiversity.
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An assassination attempt by a lone wolf on Slovakia’s PM left him in critical condition, but likely to survive. 11 civilians were slain by cartel fighters in a few battles in Mexico. Violence continues to spiral out of control in Goma, DRC.
In Haiti, everything worsens indefinitely. Guns have reportedly entered from Florida, a phenomenon which officials call an “iron river.” Police have been put on the defensive against the growing might of the gang warlords.
A brawl broke out in Taiwan’s parliament. An Iranian plot was allegedly foiled to smuggle weapons into Jordan to destabilize the pro-U.S. regime.
Dozens more died in Sudan from escalating violence around Darfur. People are warning about “a disaster on top of a disaster” and the possibility of Sudan splitting apart. Others have called it “hell on earth” as 1,000+ refugees cross the Chad border every day. Disease and malnutrition are growing, while famine encroaches upon 9M helpless victims of the conflict—but the world’s attention is elsewhere.
The U.S. Army Engineers completed constructing the pier in Gaza to deliver humanitarian aid. Some 600,000 Gazans have been displaced from Rafah already, and fighting has escalated against Hamas militants in northern Gaza.
Taliban forces skirmished with Pakistani soldiers for about 90 minutes last week. Taliban attacks in Pakistan, and counterattacks have resulted in a kind of ambient disruption for the rocky border zone.
Violent protests—and counteroperations—are continuing in New Caledonia (pop: 270,000), a Pacific island part of overseas France. The riots, which have killed 6 people so far, began after metropolitan France proposed a plan to expand voting rights beyond indigenous residents. A state of emergency has been declared amid worries about a spiral of violence taking hold.
As the Sahel dries out, experts are concerned about the links to rising terrorism in the region. The Sahel accounts for over 40% of global terrorism deaths—according to the analysts’ understanding of “terrorism.” Mali in particular has reportedly become home to 41 new, different non-state armed groups (NSAGs) since 2007. A contested election in Chad resulted in the consolidation of the interim leader’s power.

“If governments are continually unable to solve regional issues, the people will be at the whim of any terror group that has a basic organization. It serves these groups’ interests to promote insecurity where they can and create security where they want. A “hearts and minds” campaign in the Sahel could lead to long-term and locally supported insurgencies in a land that is currently rife with civil strife.” -from the article

Some wargamers concluded that a Trump victory in 2020 would spell the end of NATO, or at least the end of its utility. Vladimir Putin replaced his minister of defense with a top economic advisor, just before going to Beijing to reaffirm their friendship with “no limits.” Some say Putin is planning on a forever war. Some say NATO is gearing up for one, too.
Russia made several gains in the suburbs of Kharkiv, seizing several settlements which some analysts doubt they will hold. Putin claims they aren’t really trying to take Kharkiv anyway… Russia also made small progress in the Donbas—although they suffered their largest one-day casualties since the start of the war. The U.S. allocated another $2B to hasten the delivery of weapons to the front lines. The next weeks will be crucial on the front. Switzerland has invited 160+ nations to send delegates to a peace summit intended to design a path to making peace in this War.
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Select comments/threads from the subreddit last week suggest:
-Brazil’s flooding was really, really bad, judging from this post and its accompanying images. Across just one of Brazil’s 26 states, 600,000+ people have been made homeless, 100+ have died, and the storm season isn’t over yet. Some of the flooding isn’t expected to subside for another month.
-How specifically might climate change make humanity extinct? This thread crowdsources a number of plausible ways, from ordinary famines to nuclear war and even a massive deoxygenation process. I tend to think it will be a consequence of an eventual nuclear exchange, followed by extended famine and disease.
Got any feedback, questions, comments, complaints, upvotes, doom prophets to follow, hugelkultur guides, directions to off-grid bunkers, ark schematics, etc.? Check out the Last Week in Collapse SubStack if you don’t want to check collapse every Sunday, you can receive this newsletter sent to your (or someone else’s) email inbox every weekend. What did I forget this week?

We know throughout Legacy of Yangchen Feishan had mobilised his armies after learning the truth of what happened at Bin-Er. Essentially he trying to start to a world war obvious that didn't happened because Yangchen had succeeded by preventing threat of war by becoming protector of all four shang cities. But I always been fascinated about this early version of the Hundred Year War as at this point the Fire Nation of Yangchen Era didn't experience an industrial revolution yet.
So I wonder let just say Yangchen failed from preventing war and then Feishan begin to wage war on the Fire Nation and The Water Tribes how much of a scale of this conflict would be compared to the Hundred Year War and what would the battles and theaters look like in this alternate timeline?
Also who would be the victors of the conflict If it is Feishan who actually win the war what would he did with the now conquered north & south Pole and the Fire Islands? would he be like Sozin where he set up colonies and imperialism or something different to the Fire Nation of Roku/Aang era by being an expansionist conquest then imperialism?
I'm just fascinated of how things different if the Hundred Year War was a lot earlier in Yangchen's Era?

1. Starting with a clean and dry surface, spray Wonder Lace Bond Adhesive Spray 2-4 inches away from hair onto the hairline or desired area. 2. Allow to air dry until tacky or use a blow dryer on cool setting; repeat the process for 2-3 times to ensure a secure hold. 3. Once tacky, apply the lace as you would and tie down. Allow to sit for 10-15 minutes. 

I recently realized we now low cost ETFs in our 401k. The Mutual funds do have slightly higher Expense ratios (0.2% and up compared to ~0.03% for the ETFs)…but I’m told MutFunds also have some hidden fees they are not ‘required’ to disclose and not factored into the ER. So I’m tempted to sell off the mutual funds and target date funds and instead buy the ETFs. The ETFs inside are not well known brand to me (Spartan) but they seem familiar. One is an SP500 ETF for example. Is this reasonable or am I over thinking it?

Okay, so I spent 3 days in the hospital where a cardiologist diagnosed me with POTS. No TTT, but echocardiogram, ekg, X-ray, blood work, etc..standing up my HR was going from 85 to 145.. I also would wake up in the middle of the night with it in the 140s+…BUT I have low blood pressure. I have for a year at least now. Like, 95/70 which doesn’t bother me, and it isn’t orthostatic, it’s constant. I take 6mg of metoprolol as needed but I usually can’t take it because of the low bp. So they gave me Midodrine at the ER not long ago and today I took my first dose. Well, my face was itchy and BURNING and my chest got so tight I ended up in the ER again and stopped the med…I’m worried this isn’t POTS.. I don’t know much about it but hypotension or low bp all the time? Hm.. maybe POTS and hypotension. Because I’ve been dealing with the high HR issue for over 5 years now.. I dunno.

THESE CHANGES ARE JUST A CONCEPT
This post is about suggested changes to ADC itemization (and seryldas). The recent changes put all power into IE and made everything else weak except LDR, Mortal, Collector. Statikk is a joke and some zeal items are bad too.
I'm only doing this out of boredom and am not biased towards any champs (the last time I played was 6 months ago. Now I just test things). I simply think that this design of the new items is stupid.
It would make sense for them to put power into IE if they wanted to shift adcs power into lategame but now they just rush it anyways. Buffing it because of some items losing their crit chance also doesn't make sense because many got it increased so if you build crit items with IE it's a huge free buff which is why they had to nerf everything else. It's all a vicious circle of non sense.
The goal here is just to nerf mainly IE but also LDR, Mortal and if necessary Collector but I didn't include it.
At the same time buff Statikk so it actually makes sense, revert ER, rework Navori and PD, buff RFC and Runaans, remove/revert Shieldbow and some small changes to Bork/Kraken. Finally some buff to Serylda's grudge and change to its slow.

Infinity Edge - nerf
Crit damage: 50% >> 40%

.

Lord Dominiks Regards - nerf
AD: 45 >> 40

.

Mortal Reminder - nerf
AD: 40 >> 35

.

Statikk Shiv - buff
Cost: 2900 >> 2600
AD: 50 >> 40
Passive: The killed enemy (3s cd!!) also grants 0.5% permanent crit chance.
Wording update: Killing an enemy deals 90 magic damage to up to 6 nearby enemies and grants 0.5% crit chance (3s cd on non-champions). On champion takedowns the damage is 270.

(This is BAD on yas/yone btw as it gives 0 crit when you buy it and their heavy waveclear is anti synergetic.)
Worst item in the game. My change is targeted for ADCs, especially with bad waveclear, who want to hit their IE powerspike sooner. By the time they get IE they will have some crit chance farmed but before it they will have practically none. Keep in mind you can only proc it every 3s so you don't get crit chance for each minion. The longer the game goes, the faster you clear waves so the less crit you get from one unless you take it slow in nasus style.
.

Essence Reaver - just revert it

They wanted to bring back old items but this is one of the worst ones. There's no fun about it, noone can really build and the one with sheen was one of the most satisfying items in the game. Gangplank now has to build sheen + crit item. Was a pointless bad change absolutely noone likes it.
.

Navori's Flickerblade - rework buff
Cost: 2600 >> 2800
Lethality: 0 >>10
AD: 0 >> 20
AS: 40% >>20%
(Still has 25% crit chance)
Build path: Zeal + dagger + dagger >> Zeal + Serrated Dirk

Doing poorly. My change looks broken but Dirk (20 ad, 10 lethality) is 1000g while 20% AS and 200g cost is 900g and it's supposed to be a buff. This is meant to make it an all-rounder item that can be used by both auto-attackers and casters with its cd reduction passive.
.

Phantom Dancer - rework
AS: 60% >> 40%
Passive: Become ghosted >> Attacks grant ghosting for 5s and vs champions also 5% crit chance up to 25%.

This is partially so the windbrothers have a decent 1 item spike as to somewhat compensate the IE nerf. 20% AS is 600g while 25% crit is 1000g but it needs to be stacked within 5 attacks. If you were to build a cloak with the current one it's 15% chance without stacking which isn't that big of a difference.
So what makes it good is not gold efficiency but that you can get a high amount of crit chance instead of other stats in only 2600g. So if it were to cost like 3200g it would be pointless. On adcs it's a very good combo with IE and also BT which lost its crit. (I also think the effect fits the image of the 2 sabers)
.

Runaan's Hurricane - buff
AS: 40% >> 60%
Passive bolts damage: 55% AD >> 40% AD
Build path: Zeal + Slingshot >> Zeal + Dagger + Dagger

Pretty much only twitch builds this, kog sometimes as 3rd item. This item is too weak after losing 30 onhit dmg. So I made this the heavy AS item in place of PD. Also why tf does it build from slingshot? Maybe the buff is too much I'm not very sure about this one.
.

Rapid Firecannon - buff
AS: 35% >> 40%
Passive energized bonus magic damage: 60 >> 50(+1 per 2% bonus attackspeed) (pre-conversion for jhin)

Again an item that is just too weak. Last patch it had 30 AD 20% AS now it just has 35% AS. It's really just compensation of a huge nerf (due to IE) from this patch. The attackspeed scaling makes it more synergetic with attackspeed as an item that doesn't synergize well with AS. Also fits the name.
.

Scout's Slingshot - buff
Damage: 40 >> 50
Cooldown: 40 (-1 per aa) >> 20 (-1 per aa)

You paid 300g for 40 dmg like every 20s...if autoing regularly
.

Kraken Slayer - buff vs tanky enemies
Passive damage: 140-310 >> 120-290
Passive increase: 0-50% increase based on 0-100% enemy missing hp >> 50% per proc on the same target up to 100%.

Its passive was straight up nerfed from 50-100% increase to 0-50% based on 0-100% missing hp (so 50% if the enemy is dead lol). It was supposed to be anti tank but now has nothing specialized against tanky enemies. This doesn't revert it entirely because it nerfs the base damage but it makes it deal more dps than burst. It's supposed to be a small buff vs tanks only.
3 procs atm deal about 140 * 1.3 = ~180 average dmg from 100 to 0.
Changed it's (120 + 180 + 240) / 3 = 180 average dmg but stays high on further procs.
At level 18 it's ~400 vs 435 average dmg (so it's a tiny buff lategame). All in all this is only better vs tanks not squishies. (If a squishy is low at the beginning it's even a nerf).
.

Blade of ruined King - small build path buff
AD: 55 >> 50 AS: 30 >> 35%
Build path: Pickaxe >> Heartbound axe (same as Kraken but vamp instead of rectrix)

5 AD is slightly better than 5% AS but it gets a bit better build path. It's a tiny buff because its scaling was hard nerfed. (15 AD is worse than 3% current hp (=~1.5% max hp) vs enemies with more than 1000 max HP. Not saying that the nerf wasn't mostly justified.)
.

Shieldbow - just remove it?

Noone builds this item. 12% lifesteal was 642 gold. 5 AD and 5% crit is only 375 gold. Plus lifesteal is more valuable in general.
Either add like 8% lifesteal back - or lower it's cost to like 2600g - or add AS/AD - or else remove it because bulding this is just a trap in its current state. It has 20% pickrate on samira as 3rd item and that's it. It's also red but has no lifesteal which is confusing.
.

Serylda's Grudge - buff
Cost: 3200 >> 3000
Slow: Abilities slow enemies below 50% hp by 30% for 1s >> Dealing physical damage to an enemy slows them by 20% for 2s (8s cooldown per enemy)

Serylda's is a bit too weak compared to cleaver and LDR. The LDMortal 5 AD nerfs from above and the lower cost on serylda should make it even. The slow with cd I think is a far better design for assassins and makes it not annoying with abilities like ezreal q.
I made it physical damage only mainly so yorick E doesn't proc it thus wasting it. This way his ghouls slow afterwards but only once due to the cd.

Hi all, I'm a big fan of Katana Crafting - SE, which adds katanas to Skyrim in a thoughtful way, most of them at parity or maybe slightly worse than their 1H sword counterparts stat-wise.
I enjoyed this mod so much so that I installed Samurai - Dai Katana 2H Katana Animation (MCO SCAR) to use with the 2H Katanas, and made some edits to ADXP I MCO ER Katana (SCAR) to accomodate the 1H Katanas.
The only mod I found to distribute these katanas into the game, using SPID or otherwise, was KatanaCrafting_SPID, but based on the latest comments it's out of date compared to the current version of Katana Crafting - SE.
So I decided to try and make my own, with the help of the ini file provided in SPID Random Distribution Helper! Here's what I have so far:

• Link to my DISTR.ini text file-in-progress: https://pastebin.com/ka14GkpW
• I've played as far as Whiterun with this file loaded and have seen the standard 1H Steel Katana appear on Whiterun Guards so far.
• To enable my draft as-is in your game, you should save everything in my pastebin link to a .txt file with a filename ending in "DISTR.ini", e.g., "Katana_Crafting_SE_SPID_test_DISTR.ini". You need to have Spell Perk Item Distributor (SPID) and Katana Crafting - SE, and all of their requirements installed; then you can create an empty mod in Mod Organizer 2, right-click the mod on your mod list, left-click "Open in Explorer" and paste the txt file you created into the folder. As long as the mod loads after SPID, you should be OK.

Questions for smarter people:

• For the distribution of Silver-tier katanas, for example, I intended for a 10% chance for any Vigilant NPC to gain either a 1H Silver Katana, 1H Silver Wakizashi, 1H Silver Dai-Katana or 1H Silver Tanto. So a 10-sided dice is rolled, and if the correct number comes up, a 4-sided dice is rolled where each number corresponds to a different type of silver katana that will be added to a Vigilant NPC's inventory. Does my logic look OK for this purpose?
• I have seen 1H Steel Katanas (Item = 0xD70) appear on Whiterun Guards, but I haven't seen 1H Steel Wakizashi (0xD71), 2H Steel Dai-Katana (0xD72) or 1H Steel Tanto (0xD73) appear at all. Is there anything in the file that you see that would preclude those from appearing?
• How would I add katanas to the hostile Orc combatants you find in camps / bases while exploring? I'd want to exclude NPCs like the College of Winterhold Librarian from getting a katana. Is something like "Keyword = KC_Orc*Orc" too broad?
• How do I add katanas to the major vendors of the vanilla game? What would the syntax look like?
• If I were to add katanas to the vendors of major mods (e.g., Beyond Skyrim: Bruma), how would the syntax change? Would there be an issue if the user did not have that mod installed or would SPID just move on to the next line?
• Are there further groups of units who should have katanas that are not currently covered? Like, should Forsworn have Bloodforged katanas?
• Are my percentages OK? Like, 10% as the "highest" odds of gaining a katana for most groups too low? Os it weird for Assassins / Dark Brotherhood to have Glass / Ebony gear? Let me know!

Bot-friendly tags for all the mods I mentioned: {{ Katana Crafting - SE }} {{ Samurai - Dai Katana 2H Katana Animation (MCO SCAR) }} {{ ADXP I MCO ER Katana (SCAR) }} {{ KatanaCrafting_SPID }} {{ SPID Random Distribution Helper }} {{ Spell Perk Item Distributor (SPID) }} {{ Beyond Skyrim - Bruma SE }}

I am 31m Roughly a month ago after excessive alcohol consumption I realized my hangover symptoms weren't normal.. Clammy skin, cotton in the brain, heart palpitations, and dysphagia. The last two were unique and especially the dysphagia was completely new. Every second or third word if I wasn't extremely focused would come out slurred. While at work this freaked me out, a lot. I managed to get myself together in the second half of my shift and most of my symptoms went away. I suddenly had energy again and didn't feel like I was thinking through molasses.
Fast forward over the next 4-5 weeks I would experience new symptoms, typically trailing heavy drinking days. The cotton in the brain, trouble swallowing (full-blown dysphagia hasn't happened again so far), heart palpitations and general weird body and mind feelings..
I only drink on weekends, but lately I have been putting away some serious alcohol compared to past practice. I haven't been doing this consistently for years, I typically take breaks such as observing dry January. I have no doubt my recent scare involves some alcohol withdrawal, but I believe it also lead straight into an almost 48 hour long panic or anxiety attack.
Before 5 weeks ago I considered myself someone that mostly became anxious in normal and appropriate times to do so. However, I have been reaching a substantial amount of stress lately.. Things not done, new experiences on the horizon, not following through with healthier practices, etc..
Now then onto my most recent experience, Wednesday was day 3 of heavy drinking. I think I would sum up maybe 5,000-6,000ml of 8% beer on Wednesday alone. I woke up still a little intoxicated, my fitbit clocked 5-6hrs of sleep. I proceed to work where I develop some of the previous symptoms as I sober up: Clammy skin, trouble swallowing, confusion/cotton brain, heart palpitations, shortness of breath. After I make it off-shift 10 hours later I start to feel a bit better. I make it home, and I take some recently prescribed hydroxyzine. (I visited Urgent Care a week prior for help with some of these symptoms, the doctor didn't ask nor did I volunteer my drinking habits. He was however convinced I was suffering from panic or anxiety attacks.)
After taking 25mg and trying for some much needed sleep I begin to go into an episode of fear, maybe even dread. All of my previous symptoms return including some new ones: Chills, Hot Flashes, Muscle Spasms, Restless Legs, Twitching, Insomnia. I got about 1 hour of sleep Thursday Night. Every attempt was met by jerking awake the second I entered sleep.. like having a door shut in your face. The worst symptoms showed up after my attempt at sleep. A rising feeling in my stomach like being on a rollercoaster that would travel up my body but stop around my chest area, sudden onset of intense fatigue or a wave of cotton-brain, and an uncontrollable feeling in my throat and jaw that I can't seem to describe.
These symptoms continued pretty consistently for 48 hours. I did get 3 hours of sleep on the second night. I did not go to the hospital. I decided on the third day if they persisted I would go to the ER. So far most symptoms have tapered down to become non-existent or very minimal. I do still get a smaller rising sensation in my stomach anytime I panic, such as thinking about if I'll be able to sleep tonight, etc..
I came here to tell this story but also to ask if anyone has experienced these scarier symptoms during a panic or anxiety attack. I have stopped the sauce for now, and classic Google is telling me that my symptoms can be anything from dehydration to epilepsy.
I am brand new to panic/anxiety disorders. Apologies for the long read.

Curious if anybody has been on both? And how you would compare them.
Ive struggled on metoprolol but finally found a time that works for me that doesn’t impact my sleep and waking up. I gained a few pounds (nothing crazy) on metoprolol and finally my pants started to feel loose again. I found that by moving my dose to the morning and walking before my dose I could easily walk 30-45 minutes regularly (5-7 days a week).
However I still had NSVT episodes on metoprolol and moving up in dose was not an option so instead moved to sotalol for anti arrhythmic properties.
I am working up to 160mg.
Has anyone gained weight on sotalol?
or lost weight when they switched from metoprolol to sotalol?

(25f) I've been struggling with health OCD since I was 17. I was in the ER every day for two years, not even overexaggerating unfortunately. I had constant panic attacks which led to me to cut out caffeine entirely, even since being an avid coffee drinker since the age of 7 years old. Eventually, I started to have focal seizures, I had my first one at 17 and it was shrugged off as a panic attack by the ER. At 19 years old I was diagnosed with ventricular tachycardia and put on VERY serious heart meds that today I have been taken off of.
I just want to know if someone can relate to this and hopefully offer some advice, life for me is hell every day and I don't even feel like a person anymore, just a robot that was made to experience every scary physical symptom ever.
My day to day consists of these actions:

• checking pulse upwards of 50 times a day
• writing down exactly when I took my medication and watching the clock to make sure I take it exactly on time or earlier to avoid feeling my meds wear off
• taking my blood pressure 2-3 times a day
• alcohol abuse (I can't feel my pulse when I'm intoxicated)
• calling the poison control center every time I take a new medication
• hating the sound and feeling of my own heartbeat
• constantly dizzy and panicking over it
• asking to feel my friends and families pulses to compare and see whats "normal"
• 1-2 hours a day googling different illnesses and symptoms
• checking any food or drinks so I don't accidentally intake caffeine
• asking my nurse/doctor relatives health related questions more than I talk to them about anything else
• constantly exhausted and drained
• not wanting to leave the house in case I have a medical event
• avoiding exercise because it makes it so I feel my heart race

Previous Part
I woke up to the smell of sausage and eggs. Over by the side of my bed was a tray with a masterfully prepared omelet and sausage to match. That’s not what caught my eye though. What did that was the little note stuck to the side of they tray.
“Sorry for terrorizing you- R”
Was scrawled in barley legible hand writing, Rocco’s I imagined.
“So it can cook but not write?”
I muttered to myself as I got out of bed.
A fresh change of clothes was laid out for me and I decided just not to question it. The clothes fit perfectly and I tried not to let my mind wander as to why that was while I ate breakfast. Rocco’s omelet was outstanding, for a trash panda he made a great cook but I have no idea where he would’ve picked that up. After I finished I brought my dishes downstairs and ran into Stein in the kitchen.
“The clothes fit don’t they? My eyes aren’t what they used to be, I should’ve just sent Rocco up to ask your size.”
“No no, they fit fine, and please don’t send Rocco to do anything without telling me. I think that might just give me a heart attack on the spot. I’m still really not used to all… this going on”
I said gesturing to the raccoon who had wandered into the kitchen and was now flipping me the bird with both his paws.

Stein nodded to me with what I hoped was understanding. As much as Rocco seemed harmless (Maybe… hopefully?) I really didn’t want the furry little demon arriving anywhere near me unexpectedly. We already saw how that went in the basement yesterday. I finished washing my dishes in the sink as Stein ate his breakfast. He seemed so calm and normal, compared to the things I’d seen in this house so far. If you took one look at Bianca you say she looked too good to be true. Rocco is… well, he’s a talking raccoon, that’s immediately strange. But when it came to Frank and Stein you couldn’t tell there was anything off about them. Honestly I still had trouble seeing where they fit into this whole thing.
I was lost in this train of thought as I went through the motions of taking my groceries out of the refrigerator where someone had put them. I didn’t even realize Bianca was standing behind me till she tapped my shoulder. Jumping out of my skin I screeched out,
“Jesus Rocco what the hell!”
Bianca went from serious to laughing hysterically in no time flat.
“He really has you spooked after last night doesn’t he?”
She barely got out between bouts of laughter.
“I’m sorry really, oh and I’ve got this for you.”
Chuckled Bianca, handing me a wad of cash with a face that didn’t look remotely sorry for laughing at me.
“Just for that I’ll take it! But I’ve got to ask, how do you have this much cash just lying around, isn’t that a little risky?”
“You’d have to ask my unc… Frank or Stein.”
Bianca answered, stumbling on the apparently familiar lie. As she said this Stein stood up from the table and answered my question.
“Researching the supernatural isn’t always safe but Germany pays its scientists well, even if we don’t work for them anymore.”
“Germany? When did you work with the German government?”
I asked, a sinking suspicion settling into the pit of my stomach.
“1941, The Führer requested me specifically and I met Frank there. Oh don’t look at me like that! I didn’t support his cause, he simply wanted to look into forces outside his control and that was my specialty. It was business nothing more.”
Stein responded, pointing his finger at me and sounding a little annoyed.
“But that would make you… there’s no way you’re that old. Uh I don’t mean!”
“Think nothing of it, if anything, it means our serum worked. Distilled it from the DNA of a few pureblooded vampires and designed it to slow human aging to a crawl.”
Bianca cut him off,
“Stein, I think I can see steam coming out his ears. Can we maybe give the supernatural stuff a rest? I know you’ve been around it all your life but I think its a bit much for him.”
“Yes, I suppose your right Bianca. I’ll leave you two be then.”
Stein surrendered, as he turned and walked out of the room. Like he hadn’t just dropped yet another bomb on me.
I held myself together much better this time. After talking raccoons and succubi, learning vampires apparently existed in such an offhanded manner just didn’t surprise me as much. At this point I was just about ready to accept any supernatural entity I’d ever heard of existed in some capacity. In fact that might be the best policy moving forward.
“Hey you’re not going to pass out on us again right?”
Bianca asked turning back to me, genuine concern in her voice.
“No, I’ll be fine. The more I hear about this kind of thing the better I am at just accepting it. It’s a lot easier hearing it from one of you guys than having it drop out of the sky at me.”
I joked, walking with Bianca to the door. I noticed my poor attempt at a joke was the first time I said anything about Imalone without feeling like someone would call me crazy. I couldn’t dwell on that for too long right now though, I had to drop off the groceries that had taken me a full day to get. In hindsight though, I’ve had worst trips to the grocery store.
The next few days passed without any real issues, I got things set up in the house and ordered some furniture with the money I got from Bianca. On the second day I figured I should go out and explore the town a bit. I was getting bored being cooped up doing normal things and apparently I wanted to throw a wrench in all that.
“Maybe a bar” I thought to myself as I walked out the door just as the sun had started to think about setting, “Those are always a good place to meet people”.
This is where I tell you I may be just a little awkward. Even back home I didn’t really get out and meet new people much but I figured now is as good a time as any to start. I threw together a quick outfit with the clothes I brought with me from home. Hopefully I looked at least a little bit presentable in khakis and a red dress shirt. I walked out my door and immediately saw Bianca’s house peering out over the town. I considered dropping by to see if Bianca wanted to join me. I had told her about the reasons I ended up in Eagles Peak but I still knew precious little about her. I assumed her past wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows. I wanted to know what exactly drew someone like her to a sleepy little town like this. Maybe seeing if she wanted to join me would be a good opportunity to learn something about her? It’s entirely possible I just wanted to spend more time around her because she was drop dead gorgeous. Maybe it was because she was the first person I bumped into in town? I couldn’t put my finger on it and if we’re being honest I didn’t want to admit the real reason to myself.
That would have to wait for another day though. I had spent so much time thinking about it that by the time I snapped back to reality I was by the greyhound bus stop, well past her house. There was another bus stopped there and people were getting off of it. None of them looked like what I would call a local but its not like I’d really know what a “local” looked like here anyways. Still, this town couldn’t get this many visitors right? It was weird but probably had a completely reasonable explanation.
“The Eagle’s Roost” read the sign above the bar’s entrance, it was actually a pretty high class looking establishment. The fresh red paint gleamed against the faded whites and grays of the other buildings on the street. Inside, a well polished dark wood floor greeted me. The room was completed by a roaring stone fireplace and a well used set of stools by the counter.
“Hey there! Anyone home?!”
I called out into the empty bar.
“Give me a minute!”
Replied a deep gruff voice form the back room. Eventually a man emerged from the room, well I say man but what I mean was a mountain in human form. This guy had to be about 7 feet tall and built from solid granite. Seriously, the muscles on this guy would’ve put The Rock to shame.
“Little early to start drinkin’ isn’t it?”
The mountain grunted judgmentally.
“Well I’m new here I just wanted to see the town. I could come back later if you want.”
“New, why didn’t you say so! New here, I haven’t seen anyone new here in years! come sit down if you’ve got questions about this place I can probably answer them!”
The now elated giant boomed at me. He turned hospitable in an instant, offering me a drink on the house for his poor manners before. His name was Tucker and he’d come to the town years ago as a foreman for it’s mine. The mine dried up and the workers moved on but something about this town spoke to him and he decided to stay. He opened up this bar and the rest is history. Something about the way he talked about the mine did’t sit right with me though. He kept mentioning how it dried up like he was trying to convince me that was what happened. Plus a mine out here didn’t exactly make much sense to me.
“So you run this place alone then?”
I asked, more to be polite than out of genuine curiosity. We had started to run out of things to talk about after conversation about the mine dried up much like it apparently had.
“Never needed any help besides my wife’s, but most days I just run the place alone, yes. No sense in hiring help here, not many people looking for work outside of the ones working at that grocery store down the street. Anyways I should get back to work, its getting to be about time we actually open to the public.”
I turned my head to look at the sign I now realized was stuck to the door. “Eagle’s Roost Hours: 6PM-1AM every night”. I realized with embarrassment I had walked through the door an hour before opening. Tuck had been nothing but friendly though, and I almost felt bad for assuming the locals like him would want to shoo me away. After all, everyone I’d met so far had been nothing but nice, not including Rocco that is.
As I turned my attention back to my drink I thought about the mine again. I hadn’t seen any records of the mine Tuck mentioned in my internet searches of the town before I came here. Honestly it had been incredibly difficult to dig up anything on the town. I wasn’t necessarily the most thorough in my search, but mines tend to be a staple of the towns they’re located in. This mine in particular seems to be what the town was built on. I’m not sure what had me so worked up on this mine issue but I was sure it was important. I sat there at the bar, mulling it over and sipping on my drink when a hand slapped down on my shoulder.
The man it was attached to said something but I couldn’t catch it even if I wanted to. I was far to laser focused on the mark seared black into the mans hand, the exact same eagle that was burned into my back. I pushed him off and bolted for the door, all I heard behind me was the mans confused “What?” And Tuck shouting at him.
“Now what in the Blazes did you do to the poor kid Robert!”
I shot off into the street from the bar, no one was chasing me but the fact that the symbol was here had set me off like a deer running from a gunshot.
“What the hell happened to you?”
Called a now familiar, heavily accented voice from the alleyway.
“Rocco, what are you doing out here?”
I questioned, bewildered at finding him out in the open. I’d never admit it but seeing a familiar face, even Rocco’s, calmed me down a little
“I’m a raccoon in an alleyway, what do you think I’m doing, fishing? No, I’m rootin' around in the trash, Frank needs some lithium foil and he can’t be bothered to run out and buy some batteries himself, stingy bastard.”
He retorted, looking for all intents and purposes like a normal raccoon at the moment.
“Even if I were to guess I wouldn’t have even come close to that.”
“I live to surprise”
Rocco sneered, taking a bow dripping with sarcasm.
“Anyways Frank is back at the house right? There’s something I’ve got to tell him.”
I asked, turning and running as soon as I got a response in the affirmative.
“Yeah he is, what exactly is so importa…. And he’s gone”
I made it to their strange high house in record time and burst through the door like I owned the place. For some reason Bianca seemed completely unfazed as I crashed into the entryway without so much as a knock.
“You know, you don’t live here right?”
“Oh yeah, good to see you too Bianca. Anyways, were is Frank, or Stein for that matter I’ve got something to ask.”
“They’re in the basement.”
Bianca said pointing to the door without looking up from the book she was reading.
Her dismissive attitude didn’t even register to me as I made my way down the basement steps. I got to the bottom and an acrid scent assaulted my nostrils.
“Do I even want to know what that is?”
I called into the basement, announcing my presence. Frank emerged from a room to my side decked out in a full lab coat and goggles along with a hairnet to protect what little of his still remained.
“What do you need?”
“You guys seem to know a lot about the supernatural right? Well, does this symbol mean anything to you?”
I said pulling off my shirt and turning my back to show him the mark that woman had left me with. His reaction could best be described by the sound of shattering glass as he dropped the beaker he was holding as he saw the symbol.
“Where did you get that?!”
He yelled more than asked.
“Back in Imalone.”
“Imalone? What’s that supposed to mean?”
It dawned on me that I hadn’t explained it to him like I had Bianca, so I filled him in. I told him the whole truth this time, where the mark came from, what really drove me to Eagles Peak, all of it. Frank listened diligently looking more concerned by the minute, at some point Stein joined him. A similarly shocked look was plastered across his face. I swear he was turning white when he answered my question.
“It’s the mark of the Thunderbird, and from what you told us, you met… her in person.”
“So why do you look so worried about it?”
I asked, feeling a little worried.
“Well she’s marked you personally, most people that have that mark would’ve gotten it to show devotion or allegiance and it certainly wouldn’t have come directly from the Thunderbird.”
The way Stein talked about this “Thunderbird” made me think I may be in even deeper shit than I realized.
“So do you two actually know anything about the Thunderbird?”
I asked, hoping these two would know something considering their long study of the supernatural.
“Until recently I only knew of the native legends surrounding the creature. I heard of people marking themselves with that symbol so I assumed there must be some truth to the legends. But neither me nor Frank has ever seen the Thunderbird, much less seen it..er, her take a human form.”
Stein answered, sounding almost disappointed in himself. I got the sense that not knowing something like this really ate at him. Which was just further proven by what he said next, a grin suddenly appearing on his face.
“Frank, I think we have our next big research project on our hands then.”
“I’ll start pulling any records I can find of accounts like Keith’s here.”
Frank said, hurrying over to a computer in the basement corner that looked ancient.
“Yes and compare those to the various legends surrounding the Thunderbird.”
Stein responded, rifling through a row of cabinets against the far wall.
Those two seemed to be whipped into a frenzy by something they knew next to nothing about being dropped in their laps.
“Guys… Guys! Can we hold off on going full mad scientist mode for just a second I’ve got one more thing to ask!”
I yelled trying to get their attention. when they turned to me I could see the spark in both their eyes as they hastily responded in unison.
“Yes, what!”
“Have either of you heard about a mine in this town? Tuck at “Eagle’s Roost” mentioned it but I don’t remember seeing anything about it when I looked into this town.”
“Ah the mine, it’s out in the forest north of town somewhere. There was a collapse or something a few years after it opened and the town covered it up. It would’ve been very embarrassing for them to admit the screw up so they just… didn’t, that’s all there is too it.”
Frank answered, seemingly bothered by the mundaneness of that question.
“So the mine is still out there then?”
“Of course! What did you think it just walked away? No, leave us be we’ve got work to do.”
Stein snapped.
As I left the two to their business and made my way out of the house I ran into Rocco, several grimy batteries grasped in his paws.
“They uh… I don’t think they’ll need those batteries anymore bud.”
“God damnit! That’s what I get for trying to be helpful.”
Rocco yelled, as he threw the batteries against the wall. I had to chuckle at the absurdity of it all. Here I was walking past a talking raccoon on his way down to two scientists looking into a Thunderbird. That’s a real thing that’s currently happening to me. Just a few days ago simply seeing Rocco knocked me out almost immediately and now he was just a minor inconvenience. Could it be that I was actually adjusting to all the crazy things that had been happening around me? I sure thought so.
Upstairs, Bianca was still nose deep in her book at the kitchen table.
“Hey can I ask you something?”
“Yeah sure, what is it?”
“Ever been into the woods around town? There’s something I want to check out there.”
“I don’t usually leave the house all that much if I’m honest.”
Bianca answered, a touch of sadness in her voice.
“Do you want too? Leave the house I mean.”
“What are you getting at?”
“Well, I’m going to be headed out there tomorrow looking for the old mine.”
“And why are you looking for that?”
She questioned suspiciously.
“I have a feeling it has something to do with the mark that woman… and I forgot I didn’t tell you about that.”
Bianca looked up at me as she said with a smirk.
“I knew there was more to that story from the other night. Why didn’t you tell me?”
I’ll spare you the details but needless to say I told the story again. I really need to start bringing everyone together when I do these things, it would save me time.
“So that’s why you came here, and you think this mine has something to do with it?”
Bianca exclaimed excitedly. I could almost see the lightbulb going off over her head.
“Yeah that’s pretty much it, do you want to come with? I mean you don’t have to go but I”
She cut me off,
“You know what maybe I should go. Two sets of eyes gives us better odds right? And you have a bad history with forgotten places I seem to recall.”
Bianca said with a coy smile.
“That’s what we’ll do then, I’ll get some things ready and stop by tomorrow, we’ll leave from there.”
And before she had a chance to rethink her answer I left feeling pleased with myself.
My next stop was the hardware store on the other side of town. Of course I still had my travel bag from the good old Imalone trip but I figured I’d pick up some more tools that could come in handy.. I ended up with two heavy duty flashlights, some work gloves of various sizes cause I had no idea what size would fit Bianca, and a set of bolt cutters. It was only when I got up to the counter and the clerk gave me the stink eye that I noticed my mistake.
“You planning to break into something kid?”
Questioned the older guy cashing me out. I responded before my brain caught up with my mouth.
“I was planning on it but you guys didn’t sell balaclavas. So I guess I’ll have to wait.”
The man eyed me for a second then burst out laughing as he handed me my things. Which was good because I knew a few places back in Wisconsin where pulling that would’ve got me pulled into a backroom for questioning. Not a lot of people knew how to take a joke back home. Weirdly enough it was the first time I thought of home since coming here. Obviously I had family back there but we weren’t exactly close like I said before. I just found myself missing the familiarity of the area I had lived in for the past 24 years of my life. I think that’s why I came to the decision to call my mother when I got home later that night.
The whole walk home I had this strange feeling of being watched. No-one was there, I’m sure because I checked… several times. But even as I locked the door to my house and starting sorting out a bag of supplies for Bianca, the feeling didn’t go away. As I pulled out my phone to call my mother the feeling finally faded into the background as I got her familiar answering machine.
“Hi, you’ve reached Carla, leave your name and number after the tone.”
Straight and to the point as quickly as possible, that was the best way to describe mom and it showed even in her answering machine.
“Hi mom I bet you’re wondering where I ended up. Well I’m in New York now, in a sleepy little town. Its nice really, I already met some new people they’re… well they’re a bit strange but I think I might fit in with them. I’m still looking for a job but I had a really well paying temp thing the other day so I’ll be fine for a little while. Anyways, hope you’re doing well, love you.”
I teared up a bit as I ended the call, I hadn’t called my mother in at least a year. She never checked up on me and I never checked in with her. We’d see each other at family gatherings and talk but outside of that I didn’t really contact her much anymore. It was sort of a mutual agreement that we both had, we assumed the other was alright. But being this far from Wisconsin, this far from home, had finally caught up with me. I wanted to at least hear her voice, even if it was just a recording.
As I finished up packing for tomorrow I was quite proud of myself. I’d thought of just about everything, I dug some old hiking boots out for myself and some rope from my old travel bag. Several different sets of flint and steel and about three days worth of dehydrated food adorned the top pocket of both bags. I’d even found an old water purification kit that ended up in one of the duffle bags I brought from my apartment. In short, I was the most over prepared for an excursion like this I’d ever been. It did help push back the eyes I felt peering at me from somewhere over my shoulder, the feeling of being watched still not leaving me. Once I laid down and tried to fall asleep the feeling only intensified. Sounds of rolling thunder in the distance reminding me of my time in Imalone and the fury of the storm the Thunderbird brought. I felt strangely confident as well though, tomorrow Bianca and I may finally start to uncover some answers as to why I felt called to this town, and maybe even what this mark could mean for me.

Hey Reddit, We're in a dire situation with our 7-year-old daughter and we desperately need advice and support. Over the past week, our family has been barely hanging on through her meltdowns, getting only 1 to 5 hours of sleep a night, and making 2 ER visits. She has always had high anxiety and, over the past couple of years, has developed a severe sensitivity to clothing. These issues seem to amplify each other now, and she's spiraled to the point where she barely eats, drinks, goes to the bathroom, or sleeps, leading to frequent meltdowns multiple times a day.
Background:
After a growth spurt, she is very tall for her age, ~97 percentile, she grew out of her already limited set of clothes she was comfortable in, including her last pair of underwear. This triggered a lot of anxiety because without underwear, all bottoms felt too awkward for her to wear. Not being able to wear clothes then increased her anxiety since she couldn’t go out or have people over. We also pressured her to wear clothes, which only caused more anxiety. The increased anxiety then led to heightened levels of sensitivity which increases anxiety and so on in a negative feedback loop. She's now at the point where she can’t wear clothes, wash her hands, brush her teeth, take medications, go to the bathroom, and rarely even eats or drinks. She won’t comply with anyone’s requests, even doctors. She often stands in the bathroom for hours as the tile feels the least triggering to her sensitivities. Touching water is off-limits because it feels “too soft” and makes her itchy when it dries, triggering anxiety attacks if she accidentally gets wet. This all happened within a month where we haven't had anything close to this serious ever happen before.
What We’ve Tried:
We’ve taken her to the ER twice, where they did blood, urine, neuro, and psych checks. She does better in the ER, not melting down as much in front of others compared to us, especially me (Dad) and her Mom. We have Grandma and Auntie here, which helps, but we're all running on extremely low sleep, and the situation is not sustainable. We've consulted with three psychiatrists and three therapists who don't know what's going on. She’s on Guanfacine (0.5mg, 70lbs) twice a day for calm and sleep, and we're trying to start Lexapro for her anxiety.
Our Plea:
We’re desperate for any advice, experiences, or support you can offer. We feel like we’re at the end of our rope and don’t know what to do next. Any suggestions or words of encouragement would mean the world to us right now. Thank you.

Was I truly being rude or was his feeling just hurt?:
This guy Ik from my college followed my ig and expressed interest in me. I turned him down at first because I’ve been going through a lot recently, but now that I’ve calmed my emotions down I decided to meet with him on campus.
He offered to go out to eat and reluctantly I agree to go to get some Chinese food at the mall. Luckily he ended up being a really calming and chill dude and we engaged in conversation easily.
The mall that we were in was practically empty, and barely any stores were open, so after eating we walked around to burn off some calories. We sat down in an empty furniture store and chatted for like an hour. The guy and I were comfortable with each other er and he didn’t shy away from physical contact. Mostly on his end. Personally I’m not one for physical affection, but he would place a hand around my waist or hug me. He’s a bit taller than me as well so he’d place his head on top of mine. I thought it was very cute, even though I was extremely nervous. I made sure he didn’t cross any boundaries though, because I’m not ready for that.
The mall closed and he asked me if I wanted to go home or do something else. I told him I was free until nine. We drove to target and did some shopping. It was all very chill and comfy. We joked around and played around with each other.
Then when we left target he asked me if I wanted to smoke with him before I went home. I have asthma and don’t smoke often. Plus when I smoke I get really obnoxious, so I warned him that I might be very high energy. He said he didn’t mind.
I take two puffs of smoke and that was enough for me 😭. Then we start talking. I make jokes about him. Earlier in the evening I had also made some jokes about how I thought he gave off napoleon dynamite vibes. He had shown me his drivers ID as well and I said he look kind of Zesty 😭 (meaning flamboyant) because he looked so young and girlish since he took that photo at 18 and now has a scraggly beard and a very masculine look compared to back then. He chuckled at that and I expressed that I was kidding and at the time he didn’t seem to care or so I thought.
The guy also made jokes about my lisp and how nerdy I was. It was all in good fun in my opinion. When I smoked with him I made even more jokes. Which was that he gave virgin vibes and that I thought he “didn’t get hos fr” and I didn’t say it either malice or anything, but I understand how he could’ve been offended. He didn’t show it though.
We then Started talking about our love lives and he assumed that I wasn’t really looking for a relationship. I asked him why he thought that and he said that since I’m talking to more than one guy at a time. I asked him what he meant by that. And he said that since I was talking to him and exploring my options with other ppl I must not be seriously looking. I start cackling and said that I literally just met him and we aren’t talking. Then he went on a rant talking about how he doesn’t want a relationship and wants a “vibe” to hang out with. I asked him “so you just wanna fuck” and he started beating around the bush saying that it’d be nice to fuck but he wants a connection blah blah blah 🙄 and I tell him to “shut up, this is our first hang out I’m not even thinking about that rn” and he left it alone.
Randomly the guy kissed me. Since I’m high I find it hilarious and wasn’t really into it, so I immediately started laughing about it. He then asked me if I wanted to go to the back seat with him and I said “no, it’s not good to make decisions while high” and he seemed disappointed. Then I showed him one of those TikTok’s where it was like “that face men make before they kiss you” and then start hysterical laughing again because I’m high and everything is funny.
He drops me home soon after because it was nearing nine. The next day he sends me 4 two minute voice notes crying about how he thinks I give off “bad vibes” and how I’m “disrespectful” or some shit. Literally I said oh I’m sorry if anything I said offended him and I didn’t mean to come off as disrespectful. I had borrowed his hoodie so I said to him “when you’re ready you can come for your hoodie” and before I even left the car the night before he was like “ohhh I really wanna see you again. Do you wanna see me bc if you aren’t interested in me lmk so I can get my hoodie back” I told him that I’d like to see him again, atp I’m thinking platonically bc he seems to be interested in a hookup and I wasn’t.
And each time I said that I understood he was like “it’s not even that serious blah blah blah but when you called me a gay virgin I was put off blah blah” and I said I understood and he needs to come get his hoodie. Instead of saying Alright ima come get it he went on and on about how his feelings aren’t hurt but we’re “over” and how he doesn’t want to know anything else about me 😭 It’s like he was breaking up with me or some shit. Saying “I knew this wouldn’t work out since the beginning at least now Ik for sure that you’re disrespectful and I’m not wasting my time on you” and I’m like “alr man come get your hoodie” 😭
I then asked him why he spent the whole day with me and even urged me to to go to the back seat with him and yet again he sent another voice note saying how much he doesn’t like my personality and how he’s “done with me” 😭
So I just blocked him. I doubt that I’m being rude to him. I think he’s just mad that I didn’t want him or want drooling over him. I thought it was weird he kissed me and tried to get me in the back seat if he “didn’t think it’d work out” obviously he wanted to use me for sex but got burned instead and is mad. He still hasn’t come to get his hoodie so ima throw it out or give it away. How else should I have handled this situation? Should I have apologized? I don’t feel like I’ve done much wrong and also o felt weird vibes from him personally since he was so forward with his approach towards me even after I explained that I’m not into hooking up with him.
TLDR: classmate asked me to go out to eat. We went out and had a pretty good time until the end of the evening where he asked to go to the back seat while o was high and I refused. Afterwards when I go home and we spoke the next day he started berating me for being “disrespectful” and started bringing up all the things he didn’t like about me during our hang out. I apologized but thought it was weird that he spent the whole day with me and tried to make moves on me if this is how he truly felt. Should I have apologized or just called him out immediately?