Having flashbacks of certain looks that they used to give you has to be one of the worst pains in the world. Thinkin about them doing that with someone else makes me feel so defeated.. anyone else ever have this feeling? I miss everything about them.

(The post is slightly altered because the original text was more personal and directed at my friend)
All of this is stuff you’ve already heard before so this is just my personal looks at the album, its meaning, and why it’s probably the best rap album we’ll ever see.
If you have listened to TPAB all the way through then you remember that in the final track, Mortal Man, it’s Kendrick and someone else talking. I put this together and it’s just the conversation they have so you can easily read it and see who is talking when.
This is how I interpret albums meaning: TPAB is about the issues that African Americans will face due to the neglect of the U.S. government. The idea of the butterfly is a person who has become famous, or has power. That’s why in tracks like Wesley’s Theory, the opening track, the person talking says, “When the four corners of this cocoon collide You'll slip through the cracks hopin' that you'll survive Gather your weight, take a deep look inside Are you really who they idolize? To pimp a butterfly.” A butterfly is a transformed caterpillar, so in TPAB the idea of a caterpillar is someone who the government, or really anyone for that matter, doesn’t care about. Once they become famous (transform) and have power, they are treated better or like a butterfly.
Also, fun fact about TPAB that you prob already know. The original title was going to be “To Pimp a Caterpillar.” This was because it would then abbreviate to “2PAC” instead of TPAB.
Now for the conversation:
Kendrick: “I remember you was conflicted, misusing your influence. Sometimes I did the same, abusing my power full of resentment. Found myself screaming in a hotel room. I didn’t wanna self destruct. The evils of Lucy was all around me, so I went running for answers. Until I came home, but that didn’t stop survivors guilt. Going back and forth, trying to convince myself the stripes I earned, or maybe how A-1 my foundation was. But while my loved ones were fighting a continuous war back in the dirty, I was entering a new one. A war that was based on apartheid and discrimination. Made me wanna go back to the city and tell the homies what I learned, the word was respect. Just because you wore a different gang color than mine's doesn't mean I can't respect you as a black man. Forgetting all the pain and hurt we caused each other in these streets. If I respect you, we unify and stop the enemy from killing us, but I don't know, I'm no mortal man, maybe I'm just another n*. Shit and that's all I wrote. I was gonna call it Another N** but, it ain't really a poem, I just felt like it's something you probably could relate to. Other than that, now that I finally got a chance to holla at you. I always wanted to ask you about a certain situa--, about a metaphor actually, you spoke on the ground. What you mean 'bout that, what the ground represent?”
Friend: “The ground is gonna open up and swallow the evil…”
Kendrick - “Right…”
Friend: “That's how I see it, my word is bond. I see--and the ground is the symbol for the poor people, the poor people is gonna open up this whole world and swallow up the rich people. Cause the rich people gonna be so fat, they gonna be so appetising, you know what I'm saying, wealthy, appetizing. he poor gonna be so poor and hungry, you know what I'm saying it's gonna be like... there might be some cannibalism out this mutha, they might eat the rich.”
Kendrick: “Aight so let me ask you this then, do you see yourself as somebody that's rich or somebody that made the best of their own opportunities?”
Friend: “I see myself as a natural born hustler, a true hustler in every sense of the word. I took nothin', I took the opportunities, I worked at the most menial and degrading job and built myself up so I could get it to where I owned it. I went from having somebody manage me to me hiring the person that works my management company. I changed everything I realized my destiny in a matter of five years you know what I'm saying I made myself a millionaire. I made millions for a lot of people now it's time to make millions for myself, you know what I'm saying. I made millions for the record companies, I made millions for these movie companies, now I make millions for us.”
Kendrick: “And through your different avenues of success, how would you say you managed to keep a level of sanity?”
Friend: “and by my faith in "all good things come to those that stay true. You know what I'm saying, and it was happening to me for a reason, you know what I'm saying, I was noticing, shit, I was punching the right buttons and it was happening. So it's no problem, you know I mean it's a problem but I'm not finna let them know. I'm finna go straight through.”
Kendrick: “Would you consider yourself a fighter at heart or somebody that only reacts when they back is against the wall?”
Friend: “Shit, I like to think that at every opportunity I've ever been threatened with resistance, it's been met with resistance. And not only me but it goes down my family tree. You know what I'm saying, it's in my veins to fight back.”
Kendrick: “Aight well, how long you think it take before n***** be like, we fighting a war, I'm fighting a war I can't win and I wanna lay it all down.”
Friend: “In this country a black man only have like 5 years we can exhibit maximum strength, and that's right now while you a teenager, while you still strong or while you still wanna lift weights, while you still wanna shoot back. Cause once you turn 30 it's like they take the heart and soul out of a man, out of a black man in this country. And you don't wanna fight no more. And if you don't believe me you can look around, you don't see no loud mouth 30-year old muthafuckas.”
Kendrick: “That's crazy, because me being one of your offspring of the legacy you left behind I can truly tell you that there's nothing but turmoil goin' on so I wanted to ask you what you think is the future for me and my generation today?”
Friend: “I think that n***** is tired of grabbin' shit out the stores and next time it's a riot there's gonna be, like, uh, bloodshed for real. I don't think America know that. I think American think we was just playing and it's gonna be some more playing but it ain't gonna be no playing. It's gonna be murder, you know what I'm saying, it's gonna be like Nat Turner, 1831, up in this muthafucka. You know what I'm saying, it's gonna happen.”
Kendrick: “That's crazy man. In my opinion, only hope that we kinda have left is music and vibrations, lotta people don't understand how important it is. Sometimes I be like, get behind a mic and I don't know what type of energy I'mma push out, or where it comes from. Trip me out sometimes.”
Friend: “Because the spirits, we ain't even really rappin', we just letting our dead homies tell stories for us.”
Kendrick: I wanted to read one last thing to you. It's actually something a good friend had wrote describing my world. It says: "The caterpillar is a prisoner to the streets that conceived it. Its only job is to eat or consume everything around it, in order to protect itself from this mad city. While consuming its environment the caterpillar begins to notice ways to survive. One thing it noticed is how much the world shuns him, but praises the butterfly. The butterfly represents the talent, the thoughtfulness, and the beauty within the caterpillar. But having a harsh outlook on life the caterpillar sees the butterfly as weak and figures out a way to pimp it to his own benefits. Already surrounded by this mad city the caterpillar goes to work on the cocoon which institutionalizes him. He can no longer see past his own thoughts. He's trapped. When trapped inside these walls certain ideas take roots, such as going home, and bringing back new concepts to this mad city The result? Wings begin to emerge, breaking the cycle of feeling stagnant. Finally free, the butterfly sheds light on situations that the caterpillar never considered, ending the internal struggle. Although the butterfly and caterpillar are completely different, they are one and the same. What's your perspective on that? Pac? Pac? Pac?!”

I'm 31 years old, live in NJ. 5'9", 165 lbs (fit/athletic build) 3rd generation Chinese American (my family immigrated here in the 1900s). My family identifies as American as we tend to eat more pasta than rice and my generation has not learned the language. College educated with a Bachelor's in Biomedical Science (switched from an Engineering major...turns out I don't like theoretical math); currently working in the pharmaceutical industry and pretty much love the industry as there isn't any work drama and it's relatively straightforward yet challenging.
I've tried a few long distance relationships and they're quite difficult to manage...they were great when we able to meet in person and I didn't mind putting in the extra work. I'd be willing to try one if the distance is reasonable and the there is a definite spark between us. I am pretty sure I fit the definition of a demisexual, so I'll be strictly trying to form a connection first. I REALLY need the emotional connection before there is a sexual attraction, mentally I can't do hook ups (they're just really hard for me to handle and I have turned people down).
Personality wise I've been told that I tend to bring people together and keep things fun. I have a few different groups of friends and communities I am often with...and they can vary from the youngsters (21 to 30) to the old guys (60+) to the group that's around my age. I would say I'm pretty good at conversing and I try to stay on top of most current events. Mentally I'm an old man and feel more comfortable in that setting, so much that I literally hang out with 60+ years olds at the gym after a workout in the hot tub. I call them the hot tub gang and it's always a set of regulars where we might talk about the same thing every single day until someone newer to the group says that we talked about it yesterday.
I would say fitness is a major player in my life. I started out hating swimming as a kid, but here I am almost 27 years later...I made it through the lessons at the YMCA, joined a club team, swam in high school, swam in college and now I'm a swim coach and instructor as a hobby/side job in my free time. There's something about being a part of coaching people and watching them grow up and succeed that makes me smile.
My free time in the cold months usually consists of planning DIY projects or working on them. I tend to work on all the cars in the family and am the one that fixes them up or finds replacements for them. Or planning my next road trip to somewhere nicer. Whereas in the warm months I love going down to the beach to go for a swim and have a nice relaxing breakfast outdoors. I do have a few kayaks that I'll bring out to go with friends or if I feel it's safe a nice solo paddle to clear my mind. When I think about it, too many of my hobbies involve water. But I do enjoy things on dry land I promise!
I'm really looking for someone I can grow together with, a long term or forever relationship. I want a relationship where both of us put 100% in all the time and if we don't, we can talk to each other about our concerns and work it out. Honestly what I've realized is that maybe I am altruistic...I miss making someone feel happy and loved, miss the good morning texts, the waiting around all day just to see their texts, I miss spoiling someone and the feeling of that feeling of seeing that look that you get when someone truly loves you. I would love to slowly get to know you by having some conversations where the time just flies, then to a point where we talk nonstop, maybe some in person dates and then maybe eventually settle down together and enjoy life together.
Important stuff: Although I enjoy interacting with kids and it's a major part of my life...I don't want any of my own so...sorry if this is a dealbreaker for anyone. I don't drink (except for maybe wine at special occasions....I get really bad Asian Flush so I'll turn bright red if I smell alcohol essentially lol), not into smoking/drugs (Bad asthma and I'm just not into any of that stuff). I don't judge anyone that's into drinking or recreational drugs, it's just not for me personally. Religion wise, I'm Agnostic. Politically I lean relatively to the left.
I'm really searching for that genuine connection; voice calls are definitely a plus and would love to get to know you. It's alright if we end up just as friends that talk here and there.
If it sounds like you could be the one send me a chat or DM and tell me a bit about yourself. My name is Kevin and I'd love to know about you.

I'm 31 years old, live in NJ. 5'9", 165 lbs (fit/athletic build) 3rd generation Chinese American (my family immigrated here in the 1900s). My family identifies as American as we tend to eat more pasta than rice and my generation has not learned the language. College educated with a Bachelor's in Biomedical Science (switched from an Engineering major...turns out I don't like theoretical math); currently working in the pharmaceutical industry and pretty much love the industry as there isn't any work drama and it's relatively straightforward yet challenging.
I've tried a few long distance relationships and they're quite difficult to manage...they were great when we able to meet in person and I didn't mind putting in the extra work. I'd be willing to try one if the distance is reasonable and the there is a definite spark between us. I am pretty sure I fit the definition of a demisexual, so I'll be strictly trying to form a connection first. I REALLY need the emotional connection before there is a sexual attraction, mentally I can't do hook ups (they're just really hard for me to handle and I have turned people down).
Personality wise I've been told that I tend to bring people together and keep things fun. I have a few different groups of friends and communities I am often with...and they can vary from the youngsters (21 to 30) to the old guys (60+) to the group that's around my age. I would say I'm pretty good at conversing and I try to stay on top of most current events. Mentally I'm an old man and feel more comfortable in that setting, so much that I literally hang out with 60+ years olds at the gym after a workout in the hot tub. I call them the hot tub gang and it's always a set of regulars where we might talk about the same thing every single day until someone newer to the group says that we talked about it yesterday.
I would say fitness is a major player in my life. I started out hating swimming as a kid, but here I am almost 27 years later...I made it through the lessons at the YMCA, joined a club team, swam in high school, swam in college and now I'm a swim coach and instructor as a hobby/side job in my free time. There's something about being a part of coaching people and watching them grow up and succeed that makes me smile.
My free time in the cold months usually consists of planning DIY projects or working on them. I tend to work on all the cars in the family and am the one that fixes them up or finds replacements for them. Or planning my next road trip to somewhere nicer. Whereas in the warm months I love going down to the beach to go for a swim and have a nice relaxing breakfast outdoors. I do have a few kayaks that I'll bring out to go with friends or if I feel it's safe a nice solo paddle to clear my mind. When I think about it, too many of my hobbies involve water. But I do enjoy things on dry land I promise!
I'm really looking for someone I can grow together with, a long term or forever relationship. I want a relationship where both of us put 100% in all the time and if we don't, we can talk to each other about our concerns and work it out. Honestly what I've realized is that maybe I am altruistic...I miss making someone feel happy and loved, miss the good morning texts, the waiting around all day just to see their texts, I miss spoiling someone and the feeling of that feeling of seeing that look that you get when someone truly loves you. I would love to slowly get to know you by having some conversations where the time just flies, then to a point where we talk nonstop, maybe some in person dates and then maybe eventually settle down together and enjoy life together.
Important stuff: Although I enjoy interacting with kids and it's a major part of my life...I don't want any of my own so...sorry if this is a dealbreaker for anyone. I don't drink (except for maybe wine at special occasions....I get really bad Asian Flush so I'll turn bright red if I smell alcohol essentially lol), not into smoking/drugs (Bad asthma and I'm just not into any of that stuff). I don't judge anyone that's into drinking or recreational drugs, it's just not for me personally. Religion wise, I'm Agnostic. Politically I lean relatively to the left.
I'm really searching for that genuine connection; voice calls are definitely a plus and would love to get to know you. It's alright if we end up just as friends that talk here and there.
If it sounds like you could be the one send me a chat or DM and tell me a bit about yourself. My name is Kevin and I'd love to know about you.

I'm 31 years old, live in NJ. 5'9", 165 lbs (fit/athletic build) 3rd generation Chinese American (my family immigrated here in the 1900s). My family identifies as American as we tend to eat more pasta than rice and my generation has not learned the language. College educated with a Bachelor's in Biomedical Science (switched from an Engineering major...turns out I don't like theoretical math); currently working in the pharmaceutical industry and pretty much love the industry as there isn't any work drama and it's relatively straightforward yet challenging.
I've tried a few long distance relationships and they're quite difficult to manage...they were great when we able to meet in person and I didn't mind putting in the extra work. I'd be willing to try one if the distance is reasonable and the there is a definite spark between us. I am pretty sure I fit the definition of a demisexual, so I'll be strictly trying to form a connection first. I REALLY need the emotional connection before there is a sexual attraction, mentally I can't do hook ups (they're just really hard for me to handle and I have turned people down).
Personality wise I've been told that I tend to bring people together and keep things fun. I have a few different groups of friends and communities I am often with...and they can vary from the youngsters (21 to 30) to the old guys (60+) to the group that's around my age. I would say I'm pretty good at conversing and I try to stay on top of most current events. Mentally I'm an old man and feel more comfortable in that setting, so much that I literally hang out with 60+ years olds at the gym after a workout in the hot tub. I call them the hot tub gang and it's always a set of regulars where we might talk about the same thing every single day until someone newer to the group says that we talked about it yesterday.
I would say fitness is a major player in my life. I started out hating swimming as a kid, but here I am almost 27 years later...I made it through the lessons at the YMCA, joined a club team, swam in high school, swam in college and now I'm a swim coach and instructor as a hobby/side job in my free time. There's something about being a part of coaching people and watching them grow up and succeed that makes me smile.
My free time in the cold months usually consists of planning DIY projects or working on them. I tend to work on all the cars in the family and am the one that fixes them up or finds replacements for them. Or planning my next road trip to somewhere nicer. Whereas in the warm months I love going down to the beach to go for a swim and have a nice relaxing breakfast outdoors. I do have a few kayaks that I'll bring out to go with friends or if I feel it's safe a nice solo paddle to clear my mind. When I think about it, too many of my hobbies involve water. But I do enjoy things on dry land I promise!
I'm really looking for someone I can grow together with, a long term or forever relationship. I want a relationship where both of us put 100% in all the time and if we don't, we can talk to each other about our concerns and work it out. Honestly what I've realized is that maybe I am altruistic...I miss making someone feel happy and loved, miss the good morning texts, the waiting around all day just to see their texts, I miss spoiling someone and the feeling of that feeling of seeing that look that you get when someone truly loves you. I would love to slowly get to know you by having some conversations where the time just flies, then to a point where we talk nonstop, maybe some in person dates and then maybe eventually settle down together and enjoy life together.
Important stuff: Although I enjoy interacting with kids and it's a major part of my life...I don't want any of my own so...sorry if this is a dealbreaker for anyone. I don't drink (except for maybe wine at special occasions....I get really bad Asian Flush so I'll turn bright red if I smell alcohol essentially lol), not into smoking/drugs (Bad asthma and I'm just not into any of that stuff). I don't judge anyone that's into drinking or recreational drugs, it's just not for me personally. Religion wise, I'm Agnostic. Politically I lean relatively to the left.
I'm really searching for that genuine connection; voice calls are definitely a plus and would love to get to know you. It's alright if we end up just as friends that talk here and there.
If it sounds like you could be the one send me a chat or DM and tell me a bit about yourself. My name is Kevin and I'd love to know about you.

i miss the feeling of constantly being able to update someone on a daily like man i need some kilig in my life ulit lolz. like please, when will i have that again??? and being taken out on dates too ofc. but yes hi, looking for someone who i could potentially date perhaps and that it leads to something more?
about me: 21, pansexual and femme presenting, pre med student, qc representative. 5’7-5’8 in height if that ever matters and mestiza. much of a yapper, medyo maldita kung kinakailangan pero baka sayo is all sweet and nagpapalambing lol, replies fast so you wouldnt have to worry bout that, huge caffeine addict fr 😭 plus sized/has got curves so if you arent into that then dont dm.
about you (F):

• 20+ years old
• masc/andro pweds din femme pero im more into mascs talaga
• pweds student or working
• within the metro, preferably qc
• im okay w any body type but mas prefer ko one w curves or chubby
• not under 5 flat
• good conversationalist
• walang sabit and di hung up sa ex or any past connections
• not a ghoster and hindi putol putol mag reply please lang
• dont bother entertaining me rin kung takot mag commit and di rin pala ready makipagrelasyon (IF we do get to that part)

about you (M):

• pretty much the same listed as the ones above except for body type. id like it if average or in between that and ofc di rin hung up sa ex and so on :) good conversationalist and has a good sense of humor.

come hmu with a slight intro about yourself and lets see if we click and vibe :). then we can switch to ig or dc afterwards. HI’S AND HELLO’S STRICTLY WONT BE ENTERTAINED!!! make reading comprehension a habit please cuz you’ll just stay in my inbox if so.
STRICTLY 20+ ABOVE ONLY.

Put plenty of time in, ng3. But it was with a guid to blood build and help from others. I struggle figuring out where to go when what I'm missing or need to advance certain things and am in need of a friend to explain things ie I understand nothing about any magic builds. Looking for a sort of coop play with someone chill talk and learn .. sad to say almost all my runes came from an exploit... I know I'm a disgrace lol Gamertag on xbox is fullmetal agony feel free to send a message.

Hey, it’s my first time writing something like this on Reddit. But I don’t know what to do. I’ve been diagnosed with BPD after my attempt, and now I’m having problems with my favorite person because he just wants to be friends, but I can’t handle my emotions. It’s only been one month, by the way, since we met, but everything feels extreme. I know it sounds so absurd, and I don’t want to make it difficult for him. But I feel suicidal; I can’t breathe. I cut myself just to watch me bleed. It’s supposed to help me feel better, but nothing. I always try so much but have never been loved. I don’t think I’ve ever been loved by someone. I wrote him a letter I’m never going to send because I don’t want him to be upset, but I just want to share how I feel with someone. I’m so fucking alone anyway " Again, I feel so helpless. I want to write to you and explain myself. I want you to love me, to hold me in your arms. I want to cry, scream, drink until I pass out, or kill myself. But instead, I am just writing to you. Today, I wrote to you saying I miss you. I really miss you. The void inside me, which I had forgotten, is growing larger and consuming me again. I hope you are better. You play games a lot, maybe it helps you distract yourself. It doesn’t work for me. I don’t want to go out or do anything. I’m suffocating; I don’t want to breathe. I love you. Leaving wasn’t my choice. I hope you understand this. Actually, you probably do because that’s what you wanted. I’m sorry. I feel so inadequate. I never feel worthy of love. Was it that hard? I am doing my best. Am I difficult? I can’t breathe. The absence of your presence is suffocating me. How could you take so much from me in such a short time? Is it about me? No! I have never felt this way before. Am I getting sick? The more I think about you, the more I think about death. You both dance in my mind. I know which one will accept me. I love you. I want to love you, but I am losing myself. Please come back before it’s too late."

This is venting, and I hope I don’t upset people for not putting tags, I don’t know what tags to put as warnings, but I’ll gladly delete this post or anything to make this place safe. This is a really cool place.
Hello. First, I would like to introduce my gender identity at this moment from what I’ve always been. I’m a transman that goes by he/him, and I’m bisexual. Also, this might be very long. Very long.
I’ve had this identity for at least years. The first time I came out was to my sister, when I told her “I don’t like to be a girl, or feminine, and I like the sound of being masculine or being called he/him, and I like this name”. She respected that, and I was happy that day, to which I told my trusted family members. And for those past years, I didn’t may no mind to it and I found it comforting. I wore more masculine clothing, did try to deepen my voice, and was really excited on the idea of starting HRT and getting surgeries.
Until, literally, about 5 days ago, I stumbled upon what “detransitioning” was. Now, I knew what it was and what it meant, and i remember the actual first time I heard of it, I expressed to my sister, “What if I turn out to be cis at the end like them, and I can’t turn back because of HRT and it’s irreversible changes it can do to my body?” She smiled at me and told me “If you turn out to be cis at the end of the day, why should that matter? It all on how you feel comfortable, and what you find most that identifies you. If you end up cis, it’s because you feel more comfortable that way.”
And I smiled back. I liked that answer.
At the time.
Coming back to now, I was scrolling through TikTok and stumbled upon a video of someone’s detransitioning. I completely respect those who detransition, and their journey on discovering themselves. But, it’s the stories that scare me. Some regretting transitioning because being trans was “a phase”, or “taking HRT destroyed me when I was young”, or “none of it was real”. (And those who even turn against the trans community, but that’s another story.)
Now, when I heard these stories and how they affected those who transitioned, I immediately started to become very paranoid.
“Am I trans enough? What if I just followed my friends? What if this is all really a phase? What if I turn cis all at the end, and all of this was just attention seeking? Am I attention seeking? Am I just a girl then?”
It was awful. But, I came over these thoughts, and realized no cis person would think this way. I didn’t mind being trans, and I didn’t like the thought of being cis again. But, when I thought of this, I would think “what if I’m lying to myself? What if I do like being cis?” But, I feel like I would know I like being cis.
Though, I can’t help but feel there’s this underlying sense that everything feels wrong about me, even though the stuff I identify with it the closest way I’ll ever explain my identity.
At most though, I went through this identity for a moment on what I liked, and here is what I like and don’t like:

1. I like being called by he/him, but I’m also getting very positive thoughts when being called they/them.
2. I only ever like to be masculine, wear masculine and act and dress that way as well, mostly with baggy clothes, tight tank tops and I really want a binder. At most, I’ll wear thigh socks, but I’m a little iffy on that really... I like a small stache, I like hair on my body, and my deep voice, and how my face looks masculine at times. For my hair, I want to get a wolf-cut, mullet, idk. I like this hair I have now.
3. I liked being treated as a boy, and whenever I see guys out in public, I always fantasize on being them. I always think “I wish I was chosen to be like that, so I wouldn’t have to exprienxe all of this. I wish I was born that.”
4. When I was younger, I loved playing dolls, dress-up, and wondering what kind of woman I’d be when I’d get older. I always thought of someone beautiful and tall. But, then I started to show more masculine sides once I started to like girls. I wore more hoodies, jeans, and never showed people my long hair. I only ever did once.

That’s the most I can think of right now. And the most I had interpreted it was, I was a non-binary transmasc. But the thing is, I hear non-binary people don’t mind themselves being their agab, though I haven’t met every non-binary person, haha.
I’m just scared, overall. I’m angry I’m having so much trouble with this. All of this. And lately, I’ve been having these thoughts I would never tell anyone.
At most my question is…”I don’t know who I am.” Sometimes, I think “what if this is the wrong life, and this soul I have was just forced to attach to it?”. It’s becoming so awful that I’m starting to become very existential. I’ve been questioning my existence.
At times, i don’t know if I’m comfortable as a girl, and when I think about me being one, I can’t. I don’t know what to think of it. When I think of myself as a boy, I feel guilty, and now I’m starting to not even feel connected to anything at all because of what’s happening through my head. I don’t have the balls (hah) to go to a therapist, and I’ve been like that for years, even as a kid I’ve suffered through the thought of “why am I here? Who am I?”
I haven’t been able to sleep. I dont like eating these past few days. I didn’t like waking up. Now I don’t even like to look at my own skin. Hell, now I feel weird whenever people started to call me by my preferred name and pronouns. I love to dream because it feels like I’m away. Is this even being trans anymore? What the fuck is this? Do I miss being cis?
What if I’m lying to myself that I hate being trans? What if I’m lying to myself that I like being masculine? What do I like? Will I ever find who “me” is?
I don’t know who a “me” is.

As a Swiftie I was so excited to see how they would use this song when I found out it was going to be featured. The lyrics are just so perfect for the moment, almost feels like it was written for the show even though we know it isn’t lol apologies for the VERY long deep dive here! I posted the full lyrics below too. Hope you enjoy!
“One night, a few moons ago I saw flecks of what could’ve been light” - the kiss, Colin’s realization of his feelings
“But it might just have been you passing by unbeknownst to me” - Colin unsure of if Penelope felt/feels the same
“Life is emotionally abusive” - by his own words it’s been torture
“And time can’t stop me quite like you did” - his thoughts being consumed by her, hasn’t been able to move on from that night
“And my flight was awful, thanks for asking.” - she didn’t write him back during his travels, and he missed her. He boasts stories but we see later that they were all hallow and empty to him.
“I’m unglued, thanks to you” - he literally can’t function now. Also related to the previous line, she didn’t write and he lost his identity without her there to remind him of who he really is. Pen has basically been unglued since they met!
“Flying in a dream, stars by the pocketful” - both of them living in the fantasy of each other. So idk if this line is a direct reference to the book “Stars in My Pocket Like Grains of Sand” (likely is given all the stars/space references in the song) but there is a lot to unpack here for why Taylor may be referencing this text, but for the parts that relate to Colin and Pen, basically (very basically as this is a very complex work) it’s a sci-fi story about two beings who find their perfect impossible match among the vast universe and what implications does that have among the intergalactic universe and politics. One of the main points of the novel is asking the reader to challenge societal rules about love and desire and how the main character’s desire for the other was not the societal norm and they are breaking these norms. There is a binary world but they don’t play in the binary rules.
The chorus: self explanatory it’s about thinking it’s unbelievable that someone you’ve wanted for so long could want you back. It’s rare and weird to see, “like snow on the beach.”
“You wanting me tonight feels impossible” - can be seen from both Penelope and Colin here thinking their feelings are never going to be reciprocated.
“But it’s coming down, no sound, it’s all around” - they see it but can’t believe it, it’s overcoming them, surrounding them, but it doesn’t feel real. Penelope doubting the things she’s seeing because she’s been burned by reading the signs wrong for so long. Colin seeing Pen take Debling’s hand to dance, walking away from him so she must not feel the same. Both trying to deny it but it’s happening, it doesn’t feel real so it must not be right? Everyone else seeing what’s happening but to them they’re lost in their own heads.
“This scene feels like what I once saw on screen” - or in this case in the “silly” romance novels Pen reads. Colin rushing in to stop her from marrying someone she doesn’t love and who doesn’t love her. Knight in shining armor, Cinderella, fairytales, etc.
“I searched aurora borealis green” - I mean the green dress, hello?? Beautiful patterns and fabrics of green she wears all season. Colin searching for her through the crowds. Also the green aurora is caused by oxygen aka they need each other like air.
“I’ve never seen someone lit from within blurring out my periphery” - the world falls away when they look at each other. They see the other person’s glow like no one else. Two parts stand out for me for this is the sunlight that hits Pen after Colin leaves and they make their agreement for him to help her find a husband (she is left in his glow) only to crash back when the latest LW paper comes and she realizes what she wrote about him. And the scene at the party where Colin walks to Pen after speaking to his mom about having the courage to ask if she felt the same - the scene around them blurs out and the parallel of coming back to reality when Debling comes over. They’re so focused on the other they don’t see/remember the world. Lots of examples of this line honestly.
“My smile is like I won a contest and to hide that would be so dishonest and it's fine to fake it 'til you make it ‘til you do, 'til it's true” - the laughter and friendship they share, the giddiness when they let down their barriers and see each other, when they hid their feelings they are dishonest to themselves. I also like this as Penelope trying to convince Colin she cares for him and maybe if she shows him how much they’re perfect for each other she can will it to be true.
“I (I) can't (can't) speak afraid to jinx it I (I) don't (don't) even dare to wish it” - follow up to the previous line, Penelope never saying out loud how she feels for Colin because then it would be real outside her mind and people will break her dream. Also Colin not being able to talk to Violet about his question being about Pen. Both of them only dream of the other, unable to speak on their feelings because what if it’s all in their head?
“But your eyes are flying saucers from another planet” - both of their eyes speaking their feelings to each other when their words fail. When they look at each other they are transported to a different reality that seems otherworldly. Also see my notes on the pocket full of stars line that joins here talking about the universe and finding each other.
This is one of my fav ones because it’s a lyric-ception: “now I’m all for you like Janet” - a reference to the song “All for You” by Janet Jackson, lyrics below are self explanatory:
“Finally I figured out But it took a long, long time Now there's a turnabout Maybe 'cause I'm tryin
There's been times (I'm so confused) All my roads (they lead to you) Just can't turn and walk away
Well, it's hard to say what it is I see in you Wonder if I'll always be with you Words can't say it and I can't do Enough to prove it's all for you
I thought I'd seen it all 'Cause it's been a long, long time Oh, but then we'll trip and fall Wonderin' if I'm blind
Rain comes pourin' down (pourin' down) Fallin' from blue skies (fallin' from blue skies) Words give out a sound Comin' from your eyes”
“Can this be a real thing? Can it? Are we falling like snow at the beach?” - them finally thinking and admitting that the dream world where they are together is real. They are the rare and beautiful thing they deemed impossible. They fell for each other in an inprobable but real way. Two things (snow/beach) that don’t seem to be compatible but when they come together it’s the most beautiful and special moment like they should have always been that way.
Full lyrics:
One night, a few moons ago I saw flecks of what could've been lights But it might just have been you Passing by unbeknownst to me Life is emotionally abusive And time can't stop me quite like you did And my flight was awful, thanks for asking I'm unglued, thanks to you And it's like snow at the beach Weird but fuckin' beautiful Flying in a dream, stars by the pocketful You wanting me tonight feels impossible But it's comin' down, no sound, it's all around Like snow on the beach Like snow on the beach Like snow on the beach Like snow, oh, oh oh This scene feels like what I once saw on a screen I searched aurora borealis green I've never seen someone lit from within Blurring out my periphery My smile is like I won a contest And to hide that would be so dishonest And it's fine to fake it 'til you make it 'Til you do, 'til it's true Now it's like snow at the beach Weird but fuckin' beautiful Flying in a dream, stars by the pocketful You wanting me tonight feels impossible But it's comin' down, no sound, it's all around Like snow on the beach Like snow on the beach Like snow on the beach Like snow, oh, oh oh I (I) can't (can't) speak afraid to jinx it I (I) don't (don't) even dare to wish it But your eyes are flying saucers from another planet Now I'm all for you like Janet Can this be a real thing? Can it? Are we falling like snow at the beach? (Snow at the beach) Weird but fuckin' beautiful Flying in a dream, stars by the pocketful (flying in a dream) You wanting me tonight feels impossible (you wanting me) But it's comin' down, no sound, it's all around Like snow on the beach (snow on the beach) Like snow on the beach (flying in a dream) Like snow on the beach (you wanting me) Like snow, oh But it's comin' down, no sound, it's all around Like snow on the beach (it's comin' down, it's comin' down) (It's comin' down, it's comin' down) (Like snow on the beach) (It's comin' down, it's comin' down, it's comin' down, it's comin' down) (It's comin' down, it's comin' down, it's comin' down, it's comin' down) (Comin' down, it's comin' down, it's comin' down, it's comin' down)
Obviously this was a VERY deep dive but as someone who just deep dives Taylor’s songs so much it seemed like a fun way to take this song and relate it to Colin and Penelope, so thank you if you stayed with me the whole way. Whoever picked this was definitely in their feelings after hearing it too and had to include it in this season. I thank them for their service 🫡🫶

So, my husband is away. On a retreat. A very shitty, pushy retreat... against his will... because he did something dumb in 2020 while he was feeling sorry for himself. Let's leave it at that.
He's been away for a year, in April, and I am living by myself for the first time EVER. We have upwards of four more years of this. I mostly keep to myself. Obviously I haven't had sex or any form of physical intimacy for over a year. (I suppose that's not necessarily OBVIOUS but that's the fact of it, nonetheless)
I haven't gone a year without sex since I was in high school.
Now, Shawn and I agreed to no extramarital partners while this is happening and I intend to stick with that.
However,
My best friend is off in the Midwest, chasing her passions. They have a 6 year old that tends to be a handful, so I offer to come over, help with the boy, I get to be around things that walk upright and he get's to converse with someone in his age group.
Well, he's a lot like my husband. He's a lot like the type of men I typically went for, chill, masculine without being chauvinistic, a dork, etc.
He's very sweet with me, made me dinner, gave me a few badly-needed compliments, he's not the least bit unhandsome.
I've found myself thinking about him in that way on occasion and have even had sex dreams about him.
Now, I would never and WILL never act on these feelings, for multiple reasons:
I would be betraying my husband, he'd be betraying his wife, I'd be risking my friendship with her, I learned years ago to not fuck your friends as it often gets weird, and most importantly, I'm just missing my husband and the physical intimacy and male attention I've been without for the past year and I'm not an animal and I can control myself.
I just needed to say it to SOMEBODY, even if that "somebody" was some thousands of Redditors. I suppose I can safely tell it to my Mom, too. I'll do that.
Anyway, thank you, Reddit.
P.S.
This actually put me in the mind of that two-part episode of "Daria" where she and Jane are on the out and then she kisses Tom. I'm gonna put that on now.

Hello everyone. I wanted to start by saying I posted this dream on this subreddit a couple of months ago, but I deleted it because I have really bad OCD, and I have been going through a lot of mental health issues, but I really felt inspired to share it again, and I’m going to try to keep the post up this time. If anyone reading this already read this a couple months ago, then feel free to scroll past this. Anyways, let’s get started.
The Dream: My mom and I were in front of Jesus, and he was getting ready to judge us, but he was going to judge me first. I was really nervous though, and he noticed I was nervous, so he came over to me and knelt down and started rubbing my feet to comfort me. I then said to him, “Oh thank you, you’re so kind.” He got up then and was about to judge me, and I told him I was really nervous. He asked what I was nervous about. I told him I was nervously I was going to go to Hell. He asked me why I was nervous about that. I told him that I believe in him and I try my best to follow him, but that I just don’t know if it’s enough. After I said that he started walking towards me with his arms out wide. I started backing up then because I felt intimidated, but I ended up falling down this cliff down a dark, fiery pit. As I was falling Jesus said to me in a sarcastic but still kind way, “Yes because it definitely makes sense that someone like you would go to Hell. Someone who would bring so much light to a place like that.” After he said that I landed in this big pot of water, and I was in a confined area, so I couldn’t move. I was really scared, and knew I was in a part of Hell. I thought about what Jesus had just said to me, and I realized that he was telling me I didn’t belong there in Hell. The water underneath me then started getting warmer, and warmer, and warmer, and I knew it was only a matter of time before it would get hot and start burning me. So in desperation I said “Lord, save me!” Right after I said that I was brought back up in front of Jesus, and he had this light shining all around him. This next part I leave out sometimes because I can’t remember it well, but I’m pretty sure after I was brought back up in front of him he gave me a hug and said something like “See, Hell isn’t for you”, or something like that.
I believe Jesus came to me in a dream to comfort me and to let me know that I shouldn’t be so hard on myself, and that I am on the road to Heaven. I am so happy I had this dream, and I think about it when I worry that I’m on the road to Hell. I hope you found this dream interesting. God Bless Everyone!!✝️😊🙏
P.S. The painting I included is what Jesus looked like in my dream, and the background was all black when I was around him just like in this painting. It’s like I was inside the painting. This painting was painted by a young girl named Akiane Kramarik at the age of 8 after she had dreams of Jesus. I did see this painting before, and it is actually how I picture Jesus, so that’s why I believe he appeared to me like this in my dream.

And, I actually liked it a lot more than I thought I would.
I followed Glee religiously up until The Quarterback. After that episode I stopped watching. I couldn’t do it anymore. I hated the episode at the time (but rewatched it as well and saw it through a new light).
So over the weekend, I decided why the fuck not. I’ll bite.
I watched the rest of Season 5…which, admittedly felt strange. The back half of the season was all about the original cast in NYC. We hardly saw McKinley High anymore … and that batch of characters from the JakeRyderMarley era went poof! Vanished. I didn’t like that.
But, season 6 to me was quite an interesting turn of events … and I found myself rather pleased with it. Not to mention bawling my little eyes out.
When Rachel got her own TV show i was always under the impression that it wound up being a huge hit and that was the end of her story until she won a Tony. I had always heard people in this subreddit talk about how they hated the fact that she quit Funny Girl to do that… but it was really such a Rachel thing to do.
I was FLOORED that not only at the start of S6 I saw Rachel back in Lima…but that it lasted for the rest of the season! I really expected to see Rachel back on her feet by the end of that first episode.
It also felt relatable because I had to move back in with my parents / hometown in my late 20’s after living a glamorous life in big cities the past 7 years. No, I wasn’t on Broadway. Lol. So perhaps I’m biased.
I found myself loving Rachel’s character even more because she really did care about the Glee Club … i always believed the first time the club was revived was all made possible because of Rachel. Not so much Will. To see her work hard to bring it back again was just chef’s kiss. Her character didn’t seem selfish at all. I loved seeing that human side to her scared to go back to NY and being totally honest about not being ready. I’m glad she chose NYADA in the end. And now I’m such a Rachel and Sam shipper, too! Who would’ve thought those two would be a match made in heaven? I liked them better than Samcedes.
The Blaine-Kurt-Britt-Santana marriage had me bawling my eyes out, too.
I wasn’t too keen on the new batch of Glee clubbers. And again, I’ve never heard anyone mention them in this subreddit …. Guess they were pretty forgettable. Roderick was cool. The twins? Uh-uh. Gross. Even though the incest jokes were self aware on the show….. There were still weird moments when the sister winked at the brother when if was meant to be a serious moment.
I loved the ending and how McKinley became an art school; and Sam teaching there.
I’m so glad the final season didn’t take place in NYC . It really took me out of the show anytime a scene was played there because it didn’t feel like I was watching Glee. The most important setting on Glee was the choir room, followed by the hallways and auditorium.
Anyhoo! Phew! I just wanted to lay it all out there. That’s what I missed on GLee!
I know I’m late to the party…and who was I to call myself a Gleek all this time without knowing what went down in the final season?
But yeah I guess I’m opening up an informal season 6 discussion for Anyone who feels like sharing their two cents.

For reference, my family says I have a gift at getting friends. I never believed them. I always had some difficulty finding friends that shared interests and weren’t brain dead fakes. On about December 28th of 2023, I found a streamer a streamer who does Nintendo games. I don’t know about you but Nintendo was a big part of my early childhood and it was nice finding nostalgia and common interests. I quickly befriended the streamer and most of the viewers which was astounding to me considering I couldn't find other friends groups.
Fast forward to around late March 2024. One of the people I befriended left. I didn't think much of it and that he just needed some time to himself. For context, I’m a nice person and an empath from what my family and few friends say. I always put others first and put myself down if it means that others are ok. This along with me being protective of friends when they needed it gave me a mothefather figure status. I also get worried about everything which helped that I guess.
Anyways, three and a half weeks since their departure pass. I DM them and apologize if I did anything wrong. No answer. That was odd. I brushed it off. They come back at four weeks. I say hello and apologize again. I also let them know they had me worried. No reply. This was in a live stream too. Everyone else all said hello, welcome back, missed you, etc. He responded to all of them. I was upset but brushed it off again.
Two weeks pass and I reach out privately again. I ask if they were ok. 15 minutes later and I get a response. They said they were depressed, needed to find themselves and wanted to take their own life. They also included that it was because of things I did and personal life. I apologize, leave the server and give up the streams for a bit for him to calm down.
When I joined back after a month, he was fine. He was perfect and happy. Just like before he left. Odd isn’t it? I ask him what I did wrong. No clear answer. All he said was it was jokes I was making. That doesn’t make sense because the people he was talking with were making the same jokes as I did.
So I’m here. A month and a half after all this drama. They’ve made me want to quit everything that makes me happy because it makes them happy and reminds me of how I had to give up some of my only friends and put myself down so ungodly low that I tried taking my own life TWICE. They knew about my situation with friends too.
I want to say they made it up. Then I’m called a horrible person. I want to make amends but nobody but my good friend who had NOTHING to do with this will listen. I’m scared to come back and talk with some people because I’m scared that they might have told them lies about me. I never thought I would be sharing a story on Reddit but this is my last resort for advice. This probably isn’t the right channel and tag but oh well. I’m sorry if someone relates to this story and please reach out if you know what I should do or if you have any words of encouragement.

Put plenty of time in, ng3. But it was with a guid to blood build and help from others. I struggle figuring out where to go when what I'm missing or need to advance certain things and am in need of a friend to explain things ie I understand nothing about any magic builds. Looking for a sort of coop play with someone chill talk and learn .. sad to say almost all my runes came from an exploit... I know I'm a disgrace lol Gamertag on xbox is fullmetal agony feel free to send a message.

For reference, my family says I have a gift at getting friends. I never believed them. I always had some difficulty finding friends that shared interests and weren’t brain dead fakes. On about December 28th of 2023, I found a streamer a streamer who does Nintendo games. I don’t know about you but Nintendo was a big part of my early childhood and it was nice finding nostalgia and common interests. I quickly befriended the streamer and most of the viewers which was astounding to me considering I couldn't find other friends groups. Fast forward to around late March 2024. One of the people I befriended left. I didn't think much of it and that he just needed some time to himself. For context, I’m a nice person and an empath from what my family and few friends say. I always put others first and put myself down if it means that others are ok. This along with me being protective of friends when they needed it gave me a mothefather figure status. I also get worried about everything which helped that I guess. Anyways, three and a half weeks since their departure pass. I DM them and apologize if I did anything wrong. No answer. That was odd. I brushed it off. They come back at four weeks. I say hello and apologize again. I also let them know they had me worried. No reply. This was in a live stream too. Everyone else all said hello, welcome back, missed you, etc. He responded to all of them. I was upset but brushed it off again. Two weeks pass and I reach out privately again. I ask if they were ok. 15 minutes later and I get a response. They said they were depressed, needed to find themselves and wanted to take their own life. They also included that it was because of things I did and personal life. I apologize, leave the server and give up the streams for a bit for him to calm down. When I joined back after a month, he was fine. He was perfect and happy. Just like before he left. Odd isn’t it? I ask him what I did wrong. No clear answer. All he said was it was jokes I was making. That don’t make sense because the people he was talking with were making the same jokes as I did. So I’m here. A month and a half after all this drama. They’ve made me want to quit everything that makes me happy because it makes them happy and reminds me of how I had to give up some of my only friends and put myself down so ungodly low that I tried taking my own life TWICE. They knew about my situation with friends too. I want to say they made it up. Then I’m called a horrible person. I want to make amends but nobody but my good friend who had NOTHING to do with this will listen. I’m scared to come back and talk with some people because I’m scared that they might have told them lies about me. I never thought I would be sharing a story on Reddit but this is my last resort for advice. This probably isn’t the right channel and tag but oh well. I’m sorry if someone relates to this story and please reach out if you know what I should do or if you have any words of encouragement.

“True happiness comes from the joy of deeds well done, the zest of creating things new.” Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Bio
Name: Taylor Bennett Armstrong	Date of Birth: 04/03/2024
Age: 15 years old	Gender: Demiboy
Sexual Orientation:	Nationality: Canadian
Ethnicity: Irish-Jewish	Languages: English, French, Japanese
Hometown: Toronto, Canada	Demigod Conundrums: ADHD

Family:

Name Relation Age Occupation Relationship ------------
Benjamin Armstrong Father 42 years old Artist Taylor shares a special bond with his father, Benjamin Armstrong. Despite being a single parent for much of Taylor's life, Benjamin always made sure to provide a loving and nurturing environment for his son. He recognized Taylor's unique talents from a young age and encouraged him to explore his creativity without limitations. Benjamin's own passion for art and innovation served as an inspiration for Taylor, shaping his worldview and igniting his love for invention. Benjamin supports Taylor's dreams and ambitions wholeheartedly, even if he doesn't always understand the mechanics behind his son's creations.
Eliza Armstrong Stepmother 43 years old Graphic Designer She brings a different perspective to Taylor's life. As a graphic designer, she values precision and order, which sometimes clashes with Taylor's more spontaneous and chaotic approach to creativity. However, despite their differences, Eliza cares deeply for Taylor and wants what's best for him. She worries about Taylor's safety and well-being, especially when his inventions go awry and cause unintended chaos. She often finds herself playing the role of the voice of reason, urging Taylor to think things through more carefully before diving headfirst into his next project. Despite their occasional disagreements, Eliza recognizes Taylor's potential and admires his boundless imagination and ingenuity.
Rachel Armstrong Half-sister 10 years old Student Rachel Armstrong, Taylor's half-sister, adores her older brother and looks up to him with wide-eyed admiration. From a young age, she was fascinated by Taylor's inventions and artistic talents, often trailing after him like a curious puppy, eager to learn and explore alongside him. Taylor sees Rachel as the most precious angel in the world and is very protective of her. He takes great joy in teaching her how to sketch, build, and code, fostering her own love for art and invention. Rachel, in turn, idolizes her big brother and cherishes their time together.

Appearance

Faceclaim: this Picrew Voiceclaim Walter from Spies in Disguise

Features	Description
Height	5’8 feet
Weight	157 lbs
Hair	Ginger
Eyes	Blue
Skin	Tan
Build	Lean, slim
Scent	Ink, paint, oil
Attire	Gamer Aesthetic

Overview: Ginger Hair: One of Taylor's most noticeable features is his vibrant ginger hair, which seems to have a life of its own. His locks cascade in untamed waves around his head, framing his face in a fiery halo. Despite occasional attempts to tame it, Taylor's hair always manages to retain its wild, rebellious spirit, reflecting his own untamed nature. Taylor's eyes are a mesmerizing shade of blue. They sparkle with curiosity and intelligence, constantly darting from one point of interest to the next. Across Taylor's nose and cheeks are scattered a constellation of freckles, like tiny stars dotting the canvas of his face. Despite his intelligence beyond his years, Taylor's face retains a youthful charm and innocence. His features are soft and rounded, with a hint of boyish mischief lurking behind his bright smile. There is a sense of wonder and curiosity in his expression, as if he is forever on the brink of discovering something new and exciting. Taylor's fashion sense is a reflection of his personality, blending comfort with a hint of geeky flair. He favors graphic t-shirts adorned with characters from his favorite video games, showcasing his love for gaming and pop culture. His hoodies are oversized and well-worn, providing both warmth and a sense of familiarity. Taylor's cargo pants are practical and utilitarian, offering plenty of pockets to store his tools and gadgets for tinkering. His sneakers are his constant companions, scuffed and worn from countless adventures and late-night gaming marathons.

Personality

“Creativity is a wild mind and a disciplined eye.” Dorothy Parker
Quality Traits Positive Optimistic, Creative, Kind-hearted, Spontaneous, Resilient Neutral Naive, Chaotic, Impulsive, Eccentric, Idealistic Negative Gullible, Overbearing, Impatient, Inattentive, Stubborn
Overview: Taylor radiates an infectious positivity that lights up any room he enters. He greets each day with boundless enthusiasm, seeing every challenge as an opportunity for adventure and growth. His optimism is unwavering, even in the face of adversity, and he has a knack for finding the silver lining in the darkest of situations. Taylor's sunny disposition makes him a joy to be around, and his genuine smile can brighten even the gloomiest of days. Taylor marches to the beat of his own drum, embracing his individuality with gusto. He has never been one to conform to societal norms or expectations, preferring to chart his own course through life. Taylor's free-spirited nature is reflected in everything he does, from his spontaneous inventions to his unconventional approach to problem-solving. He thrives on the freedom to express himself creatively, unbound by rules or conventions. Taylor's energy is boundless, and he approaches everything he does with an infectious sense of excitement and wonder. He is easily captivated by new ideas and experiences, often bouncing from one project to the next with the fervor of a child in a candy store. Taylor's excitable nature fuels his insatiable curiosity, driving him to constantly seek out new challenges and adventures. Despite his youthful exuberance, Taylor possesses a keen intellect far beyond his years. He is a natural problem-solver, able to think outside the box and come up with innovative solutions to even the most daunting of challenges. Taylor's mind is a whirlwind of ideas and possibilities, constantly buzzing with new inventions and artistic endeavors. His creativity knows no bounds, and he revels in the thrill of bringing his imagination to life. Taylor's intelligence and creativity have instilled in him a healthy dose of confidence, bordering on cockiness at times. He knows his worth and isn't afraid to show it, often speaking his mind with a brashness that can catch others off guard. However, Taylor's confidence is tempered by his humility and genuine humility. He is quick to acknowledge his mistakes and learn from them, never allowing his ego to overshadow his humanity. At the core of Taylor's personality is a deep well of kindness and empathy for others. He genuinely cares about the people around him and goes out of his way to help those in need. Taylor's compassion knows no bounds, and he often puts the needs of others before his own. He is quick to offer a listening ear or a shoulder to cry on, and his unwavering support has endeared him to many. Beneath Taylor's cheerful exterior lies a vulnerability that he often tries to conceal. He is sensitive to the opinions of others and fears being rejected or misunderstood. Taylor's insecurities stem from a desire to be accepted and valued for who he truly is, flaws and all. Despite his outward confidence, he struggles with feelings of loneliness and self-doubt, yearning for genuine connections and validation. Taylor's drive for excellence can sometimes border on perfectionism, leading him to be overly critical of himself and his work. He sets high standards for himself and is often disappointed when he falls short of his own expectations. However, Taylor's perfectionism is tempered by his resilience and determination to persevere in the face of failure. He sees each setback as an opportunity to learn and grow, refusing to let obstacles dampen his spirit. Taylor has a gift for communication, able to express his thoughts and feelings with clarity and sincerity. He is a natural storyteller, captivating audiences with his animated anecdotes and infectious enthusiasm. Taylor's ability to connect with others on a deep emotional level makes him a trusted confidant and valued friend. He listens intently to others, offering words of encouragement and wisdom when needed. Taylor approaches life with a sense of adventure, always eager to explore new horizons and push the boundaries of what is possible. He thrives on the thrill of discovery, relishing in the excitement of unknown possibilities. Taylor's insatiable curiosity drives him to seek out new experiences and embrace the unknown with open arms. Whether embarking on a daring quest or simply trying out a new recipe, he approaches each adventure with the same sense of wonder and excitement. Taylor has a playful sense of humor that often borders on mischievousness. He loves to joke and laugh, finding joy in the absurdities of life. Taylor's playful nature brings levity to even the most serious of situations, helping to ease tension and lift spirits. He delights in pulling harmless pranks and sharing witty banter with friends, always with a twinkle in his eye and a grin on his face. Taylor is incredibly adaptable, able to thrive in any environment or situation. He approaches change with a sense of curiosity and excitement, eager to embrace new challenges and opportunities. Taylor's ability to adapt to different circumstances has served him well throughout his life, allowing him to navigate the complexities of both the mortal world and the realm of the gods with ease.
Preferences
Favourite... Item Food Macaroni and cheese, mango milkshake Colour Electric Blue Season Summer Weather Sunny, warm, clear skies Music Pop, rock, orchestral, jazz, celtic Animals Bunnies and Cats Book/Movie Genre Fantasy, Sci-fi, Romance, Slice-of-life, Adventure, Action Media Avatar: The Last Airbender, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Chronicles of Narnia, Kingdom Hearts, Legend of Zelda, Genshin Impact, Honkai Impact 3rd, Honkai: Star Rail, Pokémon, a scary amount of anime, etc…
Hobbies:

• Drawing
• Painting
• Crafting
• Sewing
• Video Games
• Cosplay

Demigod Info

Powers

Name	Type	Description
Psychometry	Domain	The ability to glean information from a particular object relevant to the parent's domain, especially its material make-up and method of creation. (Crafts, Mechanics and Art)
Enhanced Skill Proficiency	Domain	A trait where one is naturally adept in the skills lorded over by their parent. (Crafts, Mechanics and Art)
Summon Tool	Domain	The ability to summon any small tool. (Once every 5 minutes or per turn.) (Duct Tape or Superglue)
Machine Communication	Minor	A trait where one is able to understand and communicate with automatons and machinery (includes code).
Electrical Resistance	Minor	A trait where one is able to resist electricity to a such degree that they are able to withstand badly interacting with small appliances.
Machine Manipulation (Technokinesis)	Minor	The ability to directly control mechanisms, machines and automatons.
Basic Enchantment	Major	The ability to imbue weapons, crafts, machinery and automatons with magical properties (modmail for specific enchantments). Options: Weapon Transformation—into a mundane item; Monster Hunting Proficiency for a) Fleshy Monsters—Sharpness, b) Armored Monsters—Bludgeoning, c) Ghosty Monsters—Absorption

Weapon of Choice: Bastard Sword
Fatal Flaw: Naivety Taylor's fatal flaw lies in his inherent naivety, stemming from his trusting and optimistic nature. Despite his intelligence and creativity, Taylor often lacks the worldly wisdom and discernment needed to navigate the complexities of the world around him. His naivety makes him vulnerable to manipulation and deception, as he struggles to see the darker intentions lurking behind the smiles of others.

Items and Equipment

Name	Age	Description
Sketchbook	7 years old	Taylor always carries a sketchbook with him, filled with doodles, sketches, and designs inspired by his vivid imagination.
Art Supplies	3 years old	As someone who enjoys art, Taylor keeps a collection of art supplies like pencils, markers, and colored pencils, allowing him to bring his creative visions to life wherever he goes.
Tool Kit	5 years old	As a budding inventor and tinkerer, Taylor carries a compact tool kit with him at all times. It contains essential tools like screwdrivers, pliers, wrenches, and a mini soldering iron, allowing him to repair gadgets, fix mechanical issues, and work on DIY projects on the fly.
Nintendo Switch	2 years old	Taylor never leaves home without Nintendo Switch. He keeps a selection of his favorite games in his backpack, ready to play whenever he has a spare moment to indulge in his love of gaming.
Music Player	3 years old	Music is a constant source of inspiration and motivation for Taylor, so he always carries a portable music player loaded with his favorite tunes.
Cat Headphones	1 year old	High-quality headphones that allow him to escape into his own world of music whenever he needs a break from the hustle and bustle of everyday life. They are cat-themed for no reason other than Taylor felt like it.

Trivia

• Zodiac Sign: Pisces
• MBTI: ESTP-T (The Entrepreneur)
• Enneagram: Type 7 (The Enthusiast)
• Love Languages: Words of Affirmation (receive); Acts of service (give)
• Quirk: Doodling on almost every surface he sees when bored.
• Fears: Hurting People, Big Animals

Backstory

“There is no innovation and creativity without failure.” ***Brené Brown*
Taylor Bennett Armstrong was born into a creatively vibrant family. His father, Benjamin Armstrong, was a dedicated artist who often spent hours in his studio, painting and sculpting. Benjamin's work was deeply inspired by classical art, and his studio was filled with references to mythological themes and ancient techniques. This environment planted the seeds of creativity in Taylor from a very young age.
Taylor’s biological mother was Techne, the goddess of art, craft, and invention, but he had no knowledge of her divine heritage. His mother left shortly after his birth, leaving Benjamin to raise Taylor on his own. Despite the absence of his mother, Taylor's early childhood was filled with love and encouragement from his father.
When Taylor was five, Benjamin met Eliza, a talented graphic designer, at an art exhibit. They quickly bonded over their shared love for art and soon married. Eliza embraced Taylor as her own, though she struggled to understand his unique, often chaotic way of thinking and creating.
Even as a young child, Taylor showed remarkable intelligence and creativity. By the age of six, he was building simple machines and drawing intricate designs. His father was both amazed and slightly concerned when Taylor began to take apart household appliances to understand how they worked. While Benjamin encouraged his son's curiosity, Eliza worried about the constant mess and occasional accidents that resulted from Taylor's experiments.
Taylor’s half-sister, Rachel, was born when he was five. She looked up to her big brother with admiration, often following him around and watching as he created his various inventions. Despite the occasional mishap, Taylor and Rachel shared a close bond, with Taylor frequently making small toys and gadgets to entertain her.
School was both a blessing and a curse for Taylor. His intelligence allowed him to excel academically, but his unique way of thinking and his constant tinkering often got him into trouble. Teachers labeled him a "problem child" due to his inability to sit still and follow conventional methods. Taylor's inventions occasionally caused disruptions, further cementing his reputation.
Socially, Taylor found it hard to connect with his peers. His enthusiasm and intelligence often intimidated other children, and he was frequently taken advantage of by classmates who used him to boost their own grades. These experiences left Taylor feeling lonely and self-conscious about his naivety, although he never let it dampen his cheerful spirit.
Taylor's life took a dramatic turn when he was 15 years old. One day, while working on a particularly ambitious project in his makeshift workshop, he was visited by Oleander, a satyr sent by Camp Half-Blood. Oleander had been observing Taylor for some time, noting his extraordinary abilities and his connection to the divine.
Oleander revealed to Taylor the truth about his mother, Techne, and his demigod heritage. At first, Taylor was skeptical, thinking it was some sort of elaborate joke or fantasy. However, Oleander's ability to demonstrate his satyr powers and his deep knowledge of Taylor's unexplained talents eventually convinced him.
Explaining the situation to his family was a challenge. Benjamin, who had always suspected that there was something special about Taylor, took the news in stride. Eliza, though worried and confused, ultimately supported the decision, understanding that Camp Half-Blood could provide Taylor with the guidance he needed. Rachel was both excited and scared for her brother, worried about the dangers he might face and she would miss him.
Thankfully, despite the huge distance he and Oleander had to travel from Toronto to Long Island went calmly, for the most part, with not many delays or monsters attacking them.
Well, at least until they reached New York. After that, the whole “calm journey” was out the window. It almost seemed like all the monsters decided to wait until they were close to their destination to suddenly appear one after the other. First they had to somehow avoid a cyclops. Then they were attacked by dracanaea. And finally, they were chased by harpies until they crossed the border of Camp Half-Blood.
By some miracle, they were still alive.
What a way to be introduced to demigod life.

Present Day

“Creativity is inventing, experimenting, growing, taking risks, breaking rules, making mistakes, and having fun” Mary Lou Cook
Taylor's arrival at Campbell Half-Blood was… something, alright.
You know, being chased by monsters from New York to Long Island, passing out in between attacks and then waking up in the Medic Cabin feeling like you've been hit by a truck and maimed by a cat at the same time was, in short, not fun. It also didn't help the fact that he had to stay in bed to get treated for what, hours. Which, for someone like Taylor, was absolute torture. Good for him then that demigods, apparently, had magic healing and he didn't have to stay for days instead. At least Oleander was around to explain every detail about the world he's been thrust into now that he was out of danger. And as a plus, he was also claimed, so yay! He had no clue who Techne was, but he was sure he would learn soon enough.
So, what does Taylor do after getting patched up? Does he wait and rest for a bit just to make sure everything is okay with him? Does he stop for a moment to process everything that has happened to him in the last 24 hours?
No! Of course not! This is Taylor, after all. Him staying put for more than 10 minutes would be a miracle already.
Instead, he just went off on his own to see what this Camp Half-Blood was all about. He just had to get to his cabin first, which would be relatively easy with Oleander's instructions, and then he could explore this place to his heart's content!
Hopefully, Camp Half-Blood would be ready for the chaotic force Taylor would prove to be.
[OOC: Hello, everyone! Say hello to my new character, Taylor! Feel free to interact with him literally anywhere at Camp, he's probably going to be there at some point anyway lmao. Thanks for reading;)]

My grandparents (especially my grandmother) are so mentally challenged (including my mother) to the point where I don’t and can’t establish a connection how it is i even come from these people. For example today an argument happened between my grandmother and I. I have been dealing with a chronic medical condition called tmjd and I’m miserable every single day of my life. Today moments ago we tried to have a conversation about it that ended in disgrace as it normally does because my grandmother has such a significant lack of comprehension it’s almost unrealistic. We try to talk and it starts out by her asking me if I’m ok. I go on in an aggressive way to tell her no. I can’t even bare the idea of talking to her anymore because she disgusts me to the point of disbelief which is the reason I aggressively tell her no. Mainly because our conversation end up no where and what she says makes no sense at all sometimes. At this point after 6 whole years of dealing with this condition and wanting to die because of it she still has the audacity to say why. I don’t even know if it’s audacity at this point or if it’s just such complete ignorance. How after 6 full years of conversation after conversation, doctors after doctors. Getting injection therapies and so forth can she be so belligerent to keep asking me why. Same thing with my mother . My grandmother is 75 now but she has been like this her whole entire life. So it’s nothing new what so ever. I got this condition when I was 22 and haven’t been the same since. I used to be a regular gym goer. I was into powerlifting and believe me I was a strongman not just your average powerlifter. I had super human strength. Could have made worlds strongest man competition easily. I was healthy as an ox. I just don’t understand at this point how they can’t tell a difference. I mean my physical appearance is even dramatically different. So back to that. So I began by asking her how she can’t tell a difference in my physical appearance and condition. She says you look like you lost weight. I’m thinking ok but I’ve obviously lost muscle I have bags under my eyes I sit in the house all day and don’t move from my bed and all you have to say is I lost weight? Then I say I used to bench press so and so weight. I say what’s that mean to you that I can’t do that anymore. She says “it means you look good” …….WTF? I’m thinking to myself like this lady has absolutely lost her fucking mind what does that even mean. How does that mean that and how does she even think that it means that. It sounded like gibberish just came out her mouth. I feel like I’m talking to a bunch of two year olds all the time. Over the course of my entire life she has always said nonsense similar to this but in other ways with other conversations. My mother as well. I just feel completely lost at this point they have made me absolutely hate them. I hate them so much that if I wasn’t in this state of condition I’d pack my things up and leave and never look back and change my contact information and all. They are all so mentally challenged that I have no idea how they made it in life. It’s absolutely astounding. My grandmother has never had a job in her life. My grandfather owns a bar and my mother runs it. But for Christ sake I just don’t know what to do anymore I’m in misery every single day of my life and I want to die. My family does not by any means make my life any easier and they help me in no way other than giving me a place to live. They don’t even know where to begin to help me even if they wanted to. I just feel like every time I talk to any of them our conversation feel child like. It’s like I’m the adult and they are the children. I just want to hold and intellectual conversation with my family but I know they are not capable of it and it’s saddening. But mainly frustrating to the point where I want to hit them. It’s not even about trying to have an intelligent conversation (because they aren’t capable) but it’s about even having a regular one which is difficult to them. It always ends up in an argument where they are saying things from emotion and not actually logical in anyway and so then it’s turns into this victim mentality situation and it’s just an absolute fucking mess. Or someone says something that’s utterly gibberish. It’s pointless to talk to them anymore and I have nobody I can speak with about it. It’s so awkward just being around these guys and not talking to them through the entire day. There’s times where my grandmother will constantly insist on talking to me me but I straight up totally ignore her. And she won’t understand that that’s what I’m doing and she’ll hold an entire conversation basically by her self but she’ll imagine she’s talking with me. I mean it’s absolutely crazy what I go through with these guys. If I want to ignore my mother she’ll turn hostile. But if I know it’s one of those days for her that’s she’s going to say some dumb ass shit I have two choices which is engage in conversation with her whether I like it or not and it still turns into an argument or ignore her which will turn into an argument. It’s a lose situation with her all the time. She’s also an alcoholic and won’t admit it. I just wish I had some help in my life but there isn’t any. I have hundreds of videos of these guys acting belligerent and senile. I just know if I ever get better I’ll always have these to reflect on and remember as to why I went my separate way and decided to never talk to any of them again. Any suggestions other than move out. Talk to a therapist or go for a walk. I also have about 8 disc herniations from a car accident. So makes it even more difficult to get out. I don’t have a job because I’m so disabled from having a constant head and the car accident. I just don’t know anymore. Trust me if I had the option to move out I would have a long time ago. I hate them so much. I mean I genuinely from the bottom of my soul hate them. Very badly hate them. I wake up in disgust. I look at them with disgust. Everything disgust me about them. And they don’t get that. They don’t even act accordingly to other emotions to towards them. If I knew someone hated me as much as I hate them I’d never try to establish a connection with them just based off of that. But they act as if they never get into an argument with each other one moment and then the other are screaming their heads off at each other. My mother does 90% of the screaming. She’s screams like a maniac. I understand everyone has yelled before in their life but when it comes to my mom she’s screaming on a regular basis. It’s made me absolutely despise her. I won’t miss a single one of them when they die. They have no respect for me or understanding that I’m going through what I’m going through. I can’t express how much I hate them. My stomach feels uneasy when I look at any of them let alone want to talk to them. My mother nonchalantly goes on with her life right after an argument and then will talk to you moments later as if it didn’t even happen. My grandmother does the same. I just want to feel better so I can move on in my life. I forget to mention my dad has never been in the picture. But from my understanding after talking to him a few times I understand exactly why he’s not apart of my life. I mean we talk over the phone. But I understand why the relationship between him and my mother never lasted. Just by what he tells me about my mom, I can relate the same experiences. Makes total sense and I swear to God, I do not blame the man.

My brother told my family and I about this post and we lost it. We got a ton of ideas for a Bluey (minigame) stage and it needs to get out there. Now, I have no clue how much has been said about this already and I haven't found all that much here, so I'm hoping we're not saying things that were already thought up and said.
Straight up combat seemed a little off for such a wholesome show, so we thought the family's abilities would be different, so here they are. Bluey would have her xylophone and freeze enemies, stunning them. Bingo would have Chattermax, which she could set down and have run around and have fight for her. She could also have the asparagus and turn enemies into animals. Bandit could have a badminton, but I'm not sure what he would do with it but smack things with it or hit high up targets, buttons, and stuff like that. A keepy uppy bomb could also be somewhere in there, maybe a team attack where they hit it up a couple times before someone either misses or slams it down so it pops and explodes.
These are all we could think of at the moment, but I thought they were good enough to share. If we don't get something Bluey at some point, I might cry more than I did watching Sleepytime.

Hi,
Context 1, Early June
I was medically withdrawn from school (selective, large university) in September of 2022. It started, in early June of that year, with me having my first cold when I travelled for a weekend event, in three or four years, and the cold was so bad, I was so confused and tired I almost boarded the wrong flight home (like I walked down the bridge and almost entered the wrong plane to God knows where, until I turned around and a flight attended had to give me like a very kind pep talk).
It started with a strep throat during that weekend, then I began to cough so hard I felt dizzy, and I didn't stop coughing until December of that year. It was the worst cold I've had in my life, and I think it was made worse by the additional focus on hygiene during COVID (face masks etc.), which might have weakened my imune system. It was my first time going out without wearing a mask, and I happened to catch a cold.
Context 2, Late June/July
When I returned, I was alone in my off campus apartment, my body would itch (and this didn't make sense because there aren't any insects like mosquitos or I guess even ants in this area since it's so arid), I would sweat when I slept in my air conditioned room, I would have to walk a mile from my off campus apartment in the Arizona like heat and climate of July and August while having a cold. When I entered my over-cooled central AC apartment (I would have to leave windows and doors open to make it warmer) from the 95+ degree weather (I'm from a cold area of the country, but I grew up in several continents, and I'd never experienced this much heat), my stomach would begin to hurt from the instant change in temperature. I had to do really important work stuff that I couldn't miss, so I took different medications which caused my chest to hurt. I didn't want to go to the hospital because I was on the opposite side of the country, and I didn't know what would happen since I'm completely unfamiliar with how medical things are handled, and I had never stayed overnight in a hospital before, and I knew what I'm experiencing would probably warrant an extended stay.
Context 3, July/August
I then stopped eating, sleeping, and drinking water. Someone began spam texting me implicitly illicit texts (I would block the number, but another one would appear from another number, so like a dozen different numbers, and the texts weren't like a bot or automated, it would include photos and mention things I did recently e.g. go to the bar, it didn't ask for money or to download an app, it felt like someone I could have met or known irl was harassing me, perhaps as just a joke), and I barely give my number out and change it around once a year, so I was just so upset someone I knew gave my number to someone, or is doing this. Because of the delirium from the cold, I the began to send like weird (but not in any way, threatening or harassing, texts to mostly my friends who also attended the school) to figure out who gave my number or was behind the harassing texts. I had also experienced another issue with on campus, irl, harassment from a previous roommate that I had to report to campus safety multiple times, and I guess perhaps just because of the delirium, considering the digital harassment, I had become super persistent about my physical harassment that occurred just the semester before, and then an academic dean seriously offered to help, but then this led to a meeting with several deans. A day after this meeting, I emailed one of the deans to say that I am crying, and I was emailed at 8am to do a pysch evaluation at 11am in the morning. Because I hadn't slept the night before, and I had a feeling this would be a consequential meeting, in addition to having to walk 1 mile in the afternoon heat to this meeting, I asked to reschedule and then I was told no. Then I was sent a Maxient involuntary medical withdrawal letter.
Context 4, Now
I've been to about half a dozen pysch doctors (even one that's a lecturer at a leading medical research university), and about four therapists, since, and I haven't been diagnosed with anything definitively. My current therapist, who is a former (or current) professor in psychology, and I've met with since late November of 2023, still doesn't have a diagnoses. I present extremely well, and I'm usually more social and normal than most people (as in, whenever I do any internship or research program, I'm usually assigned management mentors, or tracked towards management as opposed to the actual job, since I just seem so social/"normal"), so I guess you would have to look really deep to find something. I know that I probably have a sleep issue, so after meeting with a sleep doctor, I'm trying to setup a sleep study. In the meantime, I've been prescribed medication to combat day time sleepiness. Other related medical issues include the fact that my dad has Cushing syndrome, and I'm pretty confident I have it, or at least a cortisol issue (I have the visible/physical signs, as well as persistent high blood pressure, and other symptoms). Then, I also have several skin issues, that I'm also treating as well. I'm also getting ready to get evaluated for an anxiety issue which multiple doctors think I have.
To be extremely honest, I'm kind of grateful I experienced this because I understand my body more, and how to seek help when my body is overwhelmed. Also, I kind of knew there would be an job crisis issue in April of 2022 since interest rates were rising and it would lead to less investments, therefore less jobs, so I've kind of enjoyed using this time to relax, travel, and learn new things. However, I'm starting to become anxious that I won't be able to return at all.
Question
Which leads to the question and title of my post, do time limits on withdrawals or leaves of absence apply to medical withdrawals or leaves of absence? My grades are pretty good, and I have no disciplinary issues, so I can still transfer, but I would still like to get back in, to be extremely frank, I would like to get back in first before transferring (just to tie up some loose ends to make a stronger transfer application). The way the communication (emails) from the schools non academic deans are worded, it's being made to seem as if I can't return at all (unless I reapply through admissions/the common app) regardless of if a doctor clears me. The way the letter is worded, it seems like I need to be cleared by a medical professional. My advisor, whose a non-educational lawyer, said I would only be approved to return if I take medication for 6-12 months. An email with a non-academic dean said this as well.
Side note
The most upsetting thing about this whole experience has been attempting to communicate this to people early on, who I usually wouldn't go to with issues, but my close advisors aren't familiar with academia and medical issues, so I've been forced to, and getting told I should leave the school or just college entirely because I have some severe psychiatric issue, that no doctor or therapist I've met thinks I have. It's I think part of what caused me to take so long, until I began speaking with my current therapist whose helped me kind of recount what happened. I feel like, it's very easy in similar situations to mine, to be directed towards potentially a wrong and inapt direction and I think the stem of this is the stigma around mental health.

Ok so my son turns 3 next month, my sons father cheated on me multiple times and i found out all at once about 2 years ago when i went through his phone. We split, got back together, briefly tried therapy and have been really good since Oct 2023. I found out I’m pregnant again and i immediately became worrisome .. i wanted a second child but i don’t know if we’re healed enough for that or if I’m ready. But he kept encouraging me to make our family bigger and how things are better. But I’ve honestly never fully trusted him. He tries to reassure me but i know he’s a liar and a narcissist and i already felt like “he could be doing something still” even though he comes home at reasonable times now, doesn’t drink as heavy as the past and answers my calls now either right away or soon after.
But this feeling is intensifying .. may be the hormones, may be intuition.
So tonight (about 2 weeks since finding out about my second pregnancy) he was drinking and didn’t answer my calls for about 45mins. And for some reason i just knew there was more to it. He comes home drunk and calls me when he steps out of the car since i called he had about 6 missed calls from me but says he was walking down the street towards our house because he’s smoking a cigarette.
I asked him why he didn’t have his friend drop him off in front of the house and accused him of being dropped off by a woman. He denied it, made jokes, told me how much he loved me and I’m being crazy.
He fell asleep and his guy friend that he said he was with text him asking him to go out. If he had really been with him and he dropped him off why would he text him to go out?
So i checked the phone. Def not as much things there as i found 2 years ago. But on occasion he FaceTimed a female that he has saved under a different name. And one of the females he was cheating on with me before .. was re-saved in his phone under a different name. Someone i know btw so i pleaded to him if i took him back he’s to never talk to her again. And yet her number always ends up back in his phone
Clearly i can’t stay. My mind still keeps trying to make excuses. But I’ve known what it was for so long already.
My dilemma is .. i wanted a second child and I’m really hoping for a girl. But i don’t know if i want to be a single mom of 2 under 5. And i don’t know if i want to go through this pregnancy and breakup at the same time. I’m only like 6 weeks pregnant at most and i contemplate just stopping it now. But i know I’ll regret it. But I’m fearful , like what if i can’t love this baby the same way i loved my first knowing he made me do this alone.