Might be a noob post but who else has tried to pause the game during the Kronos fight?
I was playing a run of Hades 2 while my partner was on her way to my place. I've gotten to Kronos several times but haven't yet beaten him, but this time I was having a great run and thought I had a good shot.
I'm on phase 2 with two death defiances when I see my partner coming to my door. She's also playing but isn't as far as me, so not wanting to spoil it I pause the game and get ready to sleep my deck. Well... I figured out the fun way what happens when you try to do that :D
Cue my partner walking in to me in my living room, panicked, yelling "no!! I can't pause!! I CANT PAUSE!!!!" with no context for anything that's happening.
I did not win the run :p

Went to Carowinds for the first time on Sunday, 5/19. Rain was in the forecast all week, but no rain fell on the park while I was there! Sun peeked through a bit in the afternoon, but the temperature was phenomenal. Crowds were pretty light and most every ride was a walk on or 10 minute wait from open until about 1:30 in the afternoon. Crowds began to pick up then and waits were a bit longer as a result. Got in 15 coaster laps and a few flat rides in about 6 hours (not including an hour break for lunch and rest), so not a bad day at all.
Here are my thoughts on the coasters:
Hurler: A pretty average woodie. The pace into the first turn was pretty great and smooth, but things were a bit downhill from there. Definitely has its best stuff at the beginning and the worst at the end. Rode once and didn't return.
Fury 325: I left my spouse and proposed to Fury 325. Wedding date TBD. Jokes aside, my first giga was all I could have ever hoped and dreamed for. Like I legitimately almost cried after my first lap because it was that good. I could not believe how smooth it was either. Just unreal. For perspective, the tallest coaster I'd ridden before Fury was like 150 feet tall, so this was just in a league of it's own for me. Ended up riding it 4 times (twice in row 3, once in the last row, and once in the first row). Front row is in a league of its own. All three trains were running all day, smooth as could be.
Carolina Cyclone: A clone of this ride was my first upside down coaster when I was a kid, so lots of nostalgia with this layout. Smoothest Arrow I've ridden in years, so that was a plus.
Ricochet: You either love or hate wild mouse layouts, and I absolute hate them. The brake run at the end of Ricochet almost sent the lap bar through my stomach too. Not a fan, one and done.
Vortex: I usually enjoy stand up coasters, but this one was extra rough. Maybe it was just the back row, but it boxed the shit out of my ears over and over. Had to go get some Ibuprofen afterwards lol.
The Flying Cobras: Running super smooth, but ops were extremely slow, making for a long line most of the day.
Nighthawk: Closed. Never ridden one of those Vekoma flying coaster, so I was a bit bummed.
Intimidator: Closed. Those airtime hills looked amazing...
Kiddy Hawk: It was social hour at ride ops. It was taking 8 minutes to dispatch trains because they were standing around chit chatting before checking seat belts. Then there'd always be someone who needed to get off or some shit and they could never figure out how to manually unlock the seat in a normal amount of time. One of the weaker kid coasters out there too; not sure why I bothered.
Afterburn: If it weren't for Fury, this would probably have been my favorite coaster at the park. And it's turning 25 this year!! It was buttery smooth and the first drop is sneaky fast. Ops were fast and both trains were running all day. Don't sleep on Afterburn. It was better than any of the other inverted B&Ms I've ridden.
Copperhead Strike: I loved the the themeing. Absolutely fantastic. However, the launches left a lot to be desired, and I was fairly disappointed given all the things I'd heard about this coaster. The layout was great, the hangtime when upside down was incredible, and the turns were smooth and snappy. Ops were quick and running 3 trains at a time made quick work of the queue. Definitely have mixed feelings on this one. I still went back and rode it a total of 3 times, so obviously I liked it enough!
Tip In 1: I got to ride Fury with one of the ride operators who had just gotten off shift. There was a brief delay in the station, so I got to chat with him about the ride timing and the trim brakes and general ride ops for a couple minutes while waiting to pull back in. Wish I'd had time to ask more questions.

Johann Gottlieb Fichte

19 May 1762 – 29 January 1814
J. G. Fichte and a priori Providentialism
Part of a Series on the Philosophy of History
Sunday 19 May 2024 is the 262nd anniversary of the birth of Johann Gottlieb Fichte (19 May 1762 – 29 January 1814), who was born in Rammenau, Saxony, then part of the Holy Roman Empire, on this day in 1762.
Fichte is often remembered in histories of philosophy as an immediate successor to Kant in the German idealist tradition. While still a young man Fichte wrote and anonymously published Attempt at a Critique of All Revelation. This was in 1792 when Fichte was 30 years old. Many believed that Kant had written this work, given Kant’s earlier critiques of pure reason, practical reason, and judgment, so when Kant denied authorship and identified Fichte as the actual author, Fichte experienced the philosophical equivalent of being an overnight sensation.
But Fichte’s life was an unsheltered as Kant’s life was sheltered. He was a born trouble-maker and was willing to touch the third rail of Enlightenment politics by writing and speaking openly about matters of religion, as revealed by his work on revelation. Fichte is sometimes called inflexible and rigid, though we could also say (a little more charitably) that he was principled and not inclined to compromise. Partly as a result of this temperament, Fichte became embroiled in a controversy in German intellectual life remembered as the Atheismusstriet, or Atheism Controversy.
During this controversy Friedrich Jacobi published an open letter against Fichte in which Jacobi coined the term “nihilism” to describe what he took to be Fichte’s position:

“Truly, my dear Fichte, I would not be vexed if you, or anyone else, were to call Chimerism the view I oppose to the Idealism that I chide for Nihilism. I have paraded my not-knowing in all my writings; in my non-knowledge I have prided myself so to be with knowledge, so perfectly and completely, that I am certainly allowed to be contemptuous of the mere doubter.—I have wrestled for truth with zeal and fervour since childhood as few others; as few others have I experienced my powerlessness—and my heart has grown tender for that—yea, very tender, my dear Fichte—and my voice so gentle! Just as I have deep compassion for myself, as human being, so I have it for others. I am patient without effort; but that I am truly patient without effort costs me a lot. The earth will be light above me—it won’t be long.”

Nihilism was to go on to have quite a career as an idea after Jacobi’s letter. While for Jacobi, the nihilism he attributed to Fichte was the inevitable outcome of reason, nihilism did not remain centered on Jacobi’s critique of Kantian philosophy, but came to signify belief in nothing at all.
Fichte’s controversial stance created a problem for the authorities at the University of Jena, where Fichte was employed at the time. Fichte wouldn’t budge, and this was one of the episodes responsible for his reputation for inflexibility, so the University of Jena dismissed him in 1799. At this point, with little to his name and few prospects, Fichte walked from Jena to Berlin—Google Maps says it takes 55 hours to complete this walk—and eventually he became part of the philosophical scene in Berlin.
Fichte attempted, semi-successfully, to support himself with popular books and lectures. For a philosopher coming from a background of Kantian philosophy—the most technical philosophy of its day—this was a bold project, but he gamely attempted to bring his interpretation of Kantianism to the masses. One of the outcomes of this effort was Fichte’s short book The Vocation of Man (1800). Fichte’s academic work was riddled with jargon, but The Vocation of Man is written in plain language and was intended for a popular audience. However, it’s still a demanding philosophical argument. In it, Fichte articulated a conception of human destiny that is universalistic, rationalistic, teleological, and even infinitistic:

“Let us not ask of history if man, on the whole, have yet become purely moral. To a more extended, comprehensive, energetic freedom he has certainly attained; but hitherto it has been an almost necessary result of his position, that this freedom has been applied chiefly to evil purposes. Neither let us ask whether the aesthetic and intellectual culture of the ancient world, concentrated on a few points, may not have excelled in degree that of modern times! It might happen that we should receive a humiliating answer, and that in this respect the human race has not advanced, but rather seemed to retrograde, in its riper years. But let us ask of history at what period the existing culture has been most widely diffused, and distributed among the greatest number of individuals; and we shall doubtless find that from the beginning of history down to our own day, the few light-points of Civilization have spread themselves abroad from their centre, that one individual after another, and one nation after another, has been embraced within their circle, and that this wider outspread of culture is proceeding under our own eyes. And this is the first point to be attained in the endless path on which humanity must advance.”

Notice that Fichte implies a distinction between two kinds of progress: there is progress toward the highest degree of excellence, and here humanity may have backslid, but there is also progress toward broadly distributed high culture, and here Fichte thinks that his time definitely surpassed previous history. Fichte also says that progress, by which he means moral progress, is an endless path, and we have already seen that it is possible for humanity to experience retrograde moral progress, so the pathway to man becoming purely moral, as Fichte sees it, is endless, it can incorporate reversals, and it can be striving to new heights or to wider diffusion.
This and many other passages point to the infinite perfectibility of man, which shows us the extent to which Fichte had imbibed the ideals of the French Revolution—or, we might say, he had imbibed the ideals of the French philosophers who were instrumental in laying the foundations of the French revolution, and were later arguably co-opted by the revolution, as in the case of Condorcet, who wrote this paean to the infinite perfectibility of man while on the run from the revolutionary gendarme. But the infinite perfectibility of man as Fichte imagines it is a teleology with a real history: things can go wrong, we can get sidetracked, we might pursue one form of moral excellence or another, and so on.
And Fichte also transmuted the French concept of the infinite perfectibility of man in the image of German idealism, producing a kind of philosophical spiritualism. Part of this transmutation of ideals came about because of the direction that Fichte saw the French revolution take as it developed. Many philosophers at the time initially supported the ideals of the French Revolution, but came to see it in a different light after the Terror and the Napoleonic Wars. Fichte as well.
Seeking to rally his countrymen after defeats inflicted by Napoleon, Fichte gave a series of public lectures later published as Addresses to the German Nation. This was more than a half century before the unification of Germany as a nation-state. In the twentieth century this work was savaged by George Santayana in his book Egotism in German Philosophy, which I mentioned in my episode on Wars and Rumors of Wars. Santayana called Fichte “an uncompromising puritan” and in Santayana’s fever dream of German expansionism he imagined Fichte as the source of it all:

“…Fichte gives us prophetic glimpses of an idealistic Germany conquering the world. The state does not aim at self-preservation, still less is it concerned to come to the aid of those members of the human family that lag behind the movement of the day. The dominion of unorganised physical force must be abolished by a force obedient to reason and spirit. True life consists in refashioning human relations after a model innate in the mind. The glorious destiny of Germany is to bring forth and establish the world anew. Natural freedom is a disgraceful thing, a mere medley of sensual and intellectual impulses without any principle of order. It is for the Germans to decide whether a providential progress exists by becoming themselves the providence that shall bring progress about, or whether on the contrary every higher thought is folly. If they should fail, history would never blame them, for in that case there would be no more history.”

Many others also have seen Fichte’s work through the lens of the wars of their time, which were the world wars of the twentieth century, rather than through the lens of the wars of Fichte’s time, which were the Napoleonic Wars.
Fichte knew that he was putting his life on the line by publicly speaking out against the French, as he at one time referenced the fate of Johann Philipp Palm. Palm, a book seller, was connected to a pamphlet, Germany in Its Deep Humiliation (Deutschland in seiner tiefsten Erniedrigung), that angered Napoleon. Napoleon ordered his subordinates to try and execute Palm within twenty-four hours. Palm was tried on 26 August 1806 by a French military tribunal, found guilty, and shot within hours of the verdict. Four other book sellers also were tried were not executed. Fichte knew that the same thing could happen to him in publicly speaking out on behalf of the German people. We can see from incidents such as this that Fichte was in the thick of the history of his own time, sometimes riding the wave and sometimes making waves.
Roberta Picardi notes both the derivation and dependence of Fichte’s views from Kant, as well as Fichte’s divergence from Kant:

“Fichte explores the epistemic status and method of history with an aim which is clearly taken from Kant: the purpose of introducing a systematic and scientific method in the infinite field of the empiricism, of which history is a part, together with experimental physics. As we can read in The Characteristics of the Present Age he wants to obtain ‘a sure progress according to rule instead of an uncertain groping in the dark’ from history, i. e., instead of the ‘Herumptappen’ (this is the German word for ‘groping’) that in the second Preface to the Critique of Pure Reason Kant contrasts with the ‘secure path of a science’.”

But the secure path of science isn’t always all that secure, given that there are multiple scientific pathways, and not all pathways lead to the same end. This is the distinction within Fichte’s philosophy of history noted by Angelica Nuzzo:

“Fichte builds his idea of a philosophy of history upon a paradoxical argument. He pushes to the extreme the claim of the bare factual nature of history as a realm of irrational, not-conceptual, and thoroughly contingent reality. Yet he also maintains that philosophical knowledge of history is possible—although neither as deductive, nor conceptual, nor genetic knowledge. Against the fictitious notion of historical Wahrscheinlichkeit (plausibility, probability), Fichte holds on to the notion of ‘historical truth’ and to its ‘logic.’ Despite its radically empirical character, history can be construed a priori.”

Some of the flavor of Fichte’s a priori approach to history can be gained from his primary work on the philosophy of history Characteristics of the Present Age (Der Grundzüge des gegewärtigen Zeitalters, 1806), in which he decomposes history into Five Principal Epochs, based not on historical contingencies, but rather upon human destiny and moral development:

“…we endeavoured to pre-figure the whole Earthly Life of Man by a comprehension of its purpose;— to perceive why our Race had to begin its Existence here, and by this means to describe the whole present Life of humankind:—this is what we wished to do,—it was our first task. There are, according to this view, Five Principal Epochs of Earthly Life, each of which, although taking its rise in the life of the individual, must yet, in order to become an Epoch in the Life of the Race, gradually lay hold of and interpenetrate all Men; and to that end must endure throughout long periods of time, so that the great Whole of Life is spread out into Ages, which sometimes seem to cross, sometimes to run parallel with each other:—1st, The Epoch of the unlimited dominion of Reason as Instinct: —the State of Innocence of the Human Race. 2nd, The Epoch in which Reason as Instinct is changed into an external ruling Authority;—the Age of positive Systems of life and doctrine, which never go back to their ultimate foundations, and hence have no power to convince but on the contrary merely desire to compel, and which demand blind faith and unconditional obedience:—the State of progressive Sin. 3rd, The Epoch of Liberation,—directly from the external ruling Authority—indirectly from the power of Reason as Instinct, and generally from Reason in any form;—the Age of absolute indifference towards all truth, and of entire and unrestrained licentiousness:—the State of completed Sinfulness. 4th, The Epoch of Reason as Knowledge;—the Age in which Truth is looked upon as the highest, and loved before all other things:—the State of progressive Justification. 5th, The Epoch of Reason as Art;—the Age in which Humanity with more sure and unerring hand builds itself up into a fitting image and representative of Reason:—the State of completed Justification and Sanctification. Thus, the whole progress which, upon this view, Humanity makes here below, is only a retrogression to the point on which it stood at first, and has nothing in view save that return to its original condition. But Humanity must make this journey on its own feet; by its own strength it must bring itself back to that state in which it was once before without its own coöperation, and which, for that very purpose, it must first of all leave.”

We can call Fichte’s Five Principal Epochs a “stadial” philosophy of history, since “stadial” refers to stages. In this passage we gain an appreciation of the necessity of the five stages of history as a developmental process that cannot be gotten around: there is no royal road to the end of the history.
In the Second Lecture from Fichte’s Some Lectures Concerning the Scholar’s Vocation, he makes explicit both the a priori developmental history of humanity and the utopian picture of the ultimate end of human development:

“…a very great man has said, life in the state is not one of man’s absolute aims. The state is, instead, only a means for establishing a perfect society, a means which exists only under specific circumstances. Like all those human institutions which are mere means, the state aims at abolishing itself. The goal of all government is to make government superfluous. Though the time has certainly not yet come, nor do I know how many myriads or myriads of myriads of years it may take (here we are not at all concerned with applicability in life, but only with justifying a speculative proposition), there will certainly be a point in the a priori foreordained career of the human species when all civic bonds will become superfluous.”

The editor says in a footnote that the “great man” mentioned was probably an allusion to Kant’s Idea of History from a Cosmopolitan Point of View. We saw in my episode on Kant how Kant saw the teleology of humanity as establishing the perfect civil constitution, though I also speculated that, if we take Kant’s later writings on history in the context of his early pre-critical work on natural history, this Kantian teleology for humanity is nested within a larger cosmological teleology. By my reading, then, Kant is actually the more naturalistic position, while Fichte is the more anthropocentric, and his ideal is a purely spiritual ideal, even an a priori idea. For example, Fichte isn’t in the least interested to even give an estimate of the period of time that will be required for humanity to abolish all government, but he only points out that this is the ultimate end.
Marx also predicted the withering away of the state after communism had been achieved, and Marx, too, emphasized definite stages in human development that would lead to this outcome. With Kant, Fichte, and Marx all predicting the end of formal human governments we might take this prediction as a distinctive feature of a certain class of philosophies of history. Toynbee, too, saw not exactly the end of the state, but the end of universal civilizations, which would cede their place to universal churches, which sounds to me a lot like Kant, Fichte, and Marx anticipating the ultimate abolition of government in a perfect society.
This we can understand as a kind of inverse teleology, in which it is not (or not only) the advent of some future eventuality that is foreseen, but the abolition of some present state-of-affairs in the future as the goal of human development. For Kant, Fichte, Marx, and Toynbee, there is a dual teleological movement, in which some novel state-of-affairs is to unfold, while a present state of affairs is to give way and disappear as the new order comes to replace it. We could call this a stadial philosophy of history, but it is as much a substitutional philosophy of history: one social order is substituted for another; familiar institutions are to be replaced by novel institutions that take their place.
As far as the new institutions are expected to be an improvement over the old, this is also a melioristic philosophy of history. All progressivist philosophies of history are also melioristic, but we can distinguish between gradualistic meliorism, in which iterated reform eventually converges on a perfect society, which could be a finite or an infinitistic process, and stadial meliorism, in which there is a replacement rather than reform of a social order, and this replacement is an improvement.
For a non-stadial, non-teleological philosophy of history, we can turn to Leopold von Ranke, who was critical of Fichte’s five epochs:

“One of the ideas with which philosophy again and again confronts history as an irrefutable claim is that mankind is on an uninterrupted road to progress, in a steady development toward perfection. Fichte, one of the foremost philosophers in this field, assumes five epochs, a world plan as he says – reason ruling through instinct, reason ruling through law, emancipation from the authority of reason, reason as science, and reason as art. If this or a similar scheme were to any extent true, then general history would have to follow the road of progress which the human race followed in the indicated direction from one age to the next. The sole subject matter of history would then be the development of such concepts as they appear and manifest themselves in the world of phenomena. But this is by no means the case. For one thing, the philosophers themselves have extraordinarily varied opinions about the nature and selection of these supposedly ruling ideas. But they very wisely focus only on a few peoples in world history while considering the lives of all the rest as nothing, as a mere supplement. Otherwise it could not be hidden for a moment that from the beginning to this day the peoples of the world have been in the most varied conditions.”

We saw earlier that Fichte by no means argued for an uninterrupted road to progress, but we can set that aside as being of secondary importance. The antagonism between Fichte and Ranke runs deeper. Ranke is often associated with the emergence of historicism, and sometimes he is identified as the source of historicism. Ranke even was willing to express his historicism in theological terms when we said that all ages are equidistant from God. With this view of history as consisting of co-equal periods each with their own integrity it would be difficult, though not impossible, to argue for progress. In Characteristics of the Present Age Fichte rejects the view that an age can be assessed on its own terms:

“Should our view of the Present Age prove to have been a view taken from the standing-point of this Age itself, should the eye which has taken this view have been itself a product of the Age which it has surveyed, then has the Age borne witness to itself and such testimony must be set aside.”

Fichte, then, needs some criterion for his view of the present age other than the present age itself, and he finds it in religion:

“…what has been the nature of this theory, considered in its essential elements, and to what chief department of human thought it has belonged? I answer:—It was a Religious Theory; all our contemplations were Religious contemplations, and our view of things, and the eye which embraced that view, were Religious.”

Fichte goes one better and actually gives a definition of religion in the next paragraph:

“RELIGION consists in regarding and recognising all Earthly Life as a necessary development of the one, original, perfectly good and perfectly blessed Divine Life.”

Both Ranke and Fichte, then, invoke theological sanction for their conception of history, though this conception is starkly different, with Ranke taking each age to be sufficient unto itself, and no less related to the divine than any other age, while Fichte took each age to be dependent upon a larger framework for its meaning. While Ranke the historian insists on the individual uniqueness of each age, while Fichte the philosopher sees each age in relation to the whole of which it is a part. It is the task of Fichte’s Characteristics of the Present Age to provide for his contemporaries this larger framework so that they can understand their place in history, which for Fichte means understanding their place in the moral development of humanity.
Even Fichte’s conception of religion and moral development is strikingly abstract, as we find a little further on in the last chapter of Characteristics of the Present Age: “…Religion is nothing external,—it never clothes itself in any outward manifestation.” And, “…True Religion does not manifest itself outwardly, and does not impel man to any course of external conduct which he would not otherwise have adopted, but that it only completes his true Inward Being and dignity.” This is not necessary an orthodox position, and we’ve already seen how Fichte got himself in trouble with authorities with his views on religion.
It would seem strange to call Fichte’s philosophy of history a providential philosophy of history, as it seems to have little in common with, say, St. Augustine, but by Fichte’s own account, his is a pervasively religious perspective, and his philosophy of history is an account of humanity’s progress toward moral perfection. This progress is a purely inward fulfillment, without any observational consequences, again, by Fichte’s own account. I’ve run into this view in one other thinker, and that is Simone Weil. In my episode on Weil I quoted her criticism of providentialism of a kind that I called vulgar providentialism:

“Divine Providence is not a disturbing influence, an anomaly in the ordering of the world; it is itself the order of the world; or rather it is the regulating principle of this universe. It is eternal Wisdom, unique, spread across the whole universe in a sovereign network of relations.”

I think Fichte would have agreed with this, and with the examples of both Fichte and Weil we can see that there is a place within the conceptual space of philosophy of history for what we could call a pure providential philosophy of history, or, if you like, an a priori providentialism.
Ranke’s criticism of Fichte is predicated upon the necessity of a vulgar providentialism that is reflected in the empirical world. But if, as Fichte said, religion is nothing external, and it does not impel man to any course of external conduct, neither should it impel any course of external conduct on the world. This also resolves the paradoxical argument that Angelica Nuzzo found at the heart of Fichte’s philosophy of history, since the bare factual nature of history can be distinguished from the providentialism that can be construed a priori.

Video Presentation

https://youtu.be/T8eIxZi0LrM
https://www.instagram.com/p/C7LPoSKNdPB/
https://odysee.com/@Geopolicraticus:7/j.-g.-fichte-and-a-priori:6

Podcast Edition

https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/73G2BY64JJb
https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/a31b8276-53cd-4723-b6ad-a39c8faa4572/episodes/306a6446-d4d7-4e24-a447-c89fd310d7a2/today-in-philosophy-of-history-j-g-fichte-and-a-priori-providentialism
https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-today-in-philosophy-of-his-146507578/episode/j-g-fichte-and-a-priori-177816272/
​

Husband fell out of love with me
I'm posting anonymously as this is very humiliating and just not something I'm ready to discuss with anyone I know as of yet. I'm sorry if this is really long but I need advise and to just get all of this off of my chest. Will most likely delete later.
I (26f) have known my husband (28m) since we were young children. We grew up together for a while and then separated for over a decade when our families moved. I moved to a different part of town while he and his family moved to another town and hour and a half away. We hadn't spoken or seen each other until he managed to find me on social media when I was 21. I had been in an emotionally and mentally abusive relationship at the time and was having a hard time finding my way out of that situation. When he messaged me I initially didn't even recognize him or his name. I was just going to leave him on read. But my curiosity got the better of me and I decided to go back and look at his page and that was when I recognized him. He helped me muster the courage I needed to break out of the turmultuious relationship I had been in and then drove an hour and a half just to see me. That meant a lot to me at the time. Shortly after we began our relationship and I quickly fell pregnant. We kept witnessing strange things that hardly felt like coincidences and had both come to the agreement that they we signs from the universe that we were on the correct path.
Fast forward to now. We have been together for almost 5 years and married for 3 after next week. We have two very young children together and have weathered many hardships as a couple in this time. In the beginning all was well. My husband still tried. He put in effort where he could. He watched me battle post partum depression after a very traumatic birth experience with our first child. Almost two years later we fell pregnant with our second which I was very apprehensive about because of the troubles I had in my first pregnancy. Things started changing with him after I became pregnant again (which I forget to mention he was initially very happy and excited about) his demeanor toward me had subtly started to change.
He stopped being as loving and affectionate. He seemed annoyed or indifferent to when I was upset or struggling internally. If I was crying or having a hard time he would just walk straight by me not even batting an eye. Before I had our second I lost one of my sisters unexpectedly and still am having a hard time handling the grief. When my sister passed away my husband offered me no condolences or emotional support what so ever. I was forced to face my grief alone. I've tried communicating with him about the way I've been feeling but he is completely emotionally closed off. I began to notice that the man I had married was a very emotionally unavailable person and I had tried to suggest seeking help to work through his communication issues and emotional unavailability but he is heavily against seeing a professional. He refuses still to this day to work on himself as a person at all.
Since having our second child we moved back to the town his family is from. We live in a home, my husband found a new job that he has to get up very early for and works very long hours through the week. When I would bring up how neglected I felt by him he would chalk it up to just being "too tired" "too sore" "too stressed". He puts absolutely no effort into our marriage at all. It's not the example of marriage I want set for our children let alone the fact that it eats away at me, makes me wonder if there is something wrong with me, and leaves me feeling unwanted, unloved, and like I don't matter at all. It makes it hard for me to be the mother I want to be. I find myself always overstimulated, and I feel like I'm constantly pouring from an empty cup.
I'm sure a lot of you will say "sounds like he's cheating" but I'm ashamed to admit that I have checked his phone, he never hides it from me. I found absolutely nothing on it and when he's not working he's always home with us. Just off on his own working on our house or only spending time with the kids or sleeping as he has to be up early. So if he is cheating he must be a professional at it cause he covers his tracks very well.
That brings me to recently. I've had this dull feeling in the pit of my stomach that I have found myself in a loveless marriage. I've been changing my appearance and dressing nicer. Doing my hair and make up more. And it doesn't seem to make a difference to him. Everyday I can feel depression quickly consuming me. I'm falling deeper and deeper into a place I've been working very hard to heal from and not fall back into. But now here I am. My husband's been slightly mean to me with some of the comments he's made about my appearance lately. making me feel completely unlovable and worthless. Everyday that passes without any kind of affection from him has built up in me and finally last night I was so upset. That knawing feeling in the pit of my stomach that something was amiss In my marriage I could no longer surpress. I've been having troubles sleeping. I can barely eat. My body dismorphia is coming back as well as eating disorders I used to have.
Last night I just couldnt sleep. I was so restless with the feeling of being trapped in a loveless marriage I couldn't stop my mind from racing. I finally fell asleep on the couch at about 6 am and dreamt that I had confronted my husband about my gut feeling to which he admitted he didn't love me in the dream. I woke up feeling distraught because of it. My husband was already up, tending to the kids acting as though everything was fine when I couldn't hold it in anymore. I finally confronted him. I told him about the gut feeling I had and asked him if he still loved me. He said he did. I rephrased the question and asked if he was IN love with me. That's when he looked down and fell silent. My heart plummeted and I began shaking feeling as though my life was crumbling around me. I then asked him if he wasn't in love with me, then was he in love with someone else to which he replied no and seemed sincere about that. I asked him why he had fallen out of love with me and he said because he sometimes felt like I wasn't pulling enough weight with chores. (Which may I add I may not get everything done in a day while tending to young hyperactive kids but I do make sure everyday that he does come house to all the toys picked up and floors swept and vacuumed if anything. And I try to get as many dishes done as I can with kids pulling on my pant sleeves.) So I'm not sure if I believe that to be the true reason. I asked where he wanted to go from here. Did he want me to take the kids and leave and let him pick up where he had left off from before we ever got together or if he wanted me to stay and try to fix our relationship. He said he wished for me to stay and we work on our marriage. I suggested couples counseling and he immediately shot it down saying we could work it out ourselves to which I asked how and then he shrugged and said, verbatim, " I figured you'd just read a book". That was when I got angry. At that moment I knew he wants me to be the one to figure out how to get him to fall back love with me. which in turn means he will not be willing to put any work into actually fixing our marriage. Even after all of this he still won't hardly communicate, still not being affectionate, hell he still hasn't even apologized or shown any remorse for hurting me so deeply.
I'm now at a loss. I'm so hurt by this. I'm humiliated, I feel betrayed. I have so many doubts about him in this moment. I've let him know that I'm not just going to be able to get over this. I severely dissociated after his revelation of no long being in love with me. I'm so upset because I do love him still and have sacrificed everything for him. Absolutely everything. Almost my life included. I told him I'm having a hard time deciding whether I'm going to stay or go. Frankly I just want to disappear from this world.
Does anyone have any insight? What should I do?
TL;DR: My husband of almost 3 years has admitted to falling out of love with me but says he wants to still try to work it out and save our marriage, while simultaneously proving unwilling to put any work into salvaging the relationship at the same time. I'm very hurt by his admission of no longer being in love with me and don't think I can move past this. What should I do?

I am not the OOP. The OOP is u/MentalPlatypus5193 posting in amiwrong
Concluded as per OOP
1 update - Medium
Thanks to u/colorsofautomn for finding this BORU
Original - 28th April 2024
Update1 - 10th May 2024
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1 New Update
Update2 - - 18th May 2024
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My son [19M] filed harassment charges against me and my husband because we were making him go to college
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Me and my son moved to US last year. I was a single mom for 16 yrs before I met and then married my husband. I saved up money so he can go to college. Where I came from, college is very important. We moved to a small town and my son found new friends. These friends in my opinion were not a good influence. I am used to polite and academically oriented kids back home. These new friends of his make fun of his books and his plans of going to college.
Before his HS graduation, me and my husband took him to several unis in the state so he could get a feel for which one he would like to go to. Then after he graduated from HS, I told him I have about $20k saved up for college. He said it is not going to fit because tuition is pretty expensive nowadays. I suggested he can just go to a community college 20 mins away and live at home to save money. He agreed and I gave him access to the fund (joint account).
Long story short, he did not enroll himself and instead started partying a lot and used the money on expensive dates with his gf. He moved out and stopped talking to me. I worked hard to save that up for more than a decade and I am upset that he wasted it in less than a year. Me and my husband went to his place and asked that he pay me back since it is specifically for college and not "fun money".
He called the police and filed harassment charges. I told the police to review the cctv footage because the whole time I was talking to him through his ring cam, I was calm and reasonable and my husband was just standing behind me not saying anything. I was outside the door talking, he never even opened the door to talk to me face to face. The police said there's nothing he can do if my son and his gf felt "harassed", he can file a restraining order if he wants to.
Back home, this is unforgivable to treat your parent like this. But here in US, I was treated almost like a criminal. My sister in law said it is my fault for confronting him and that the money is his to spend since I made him a joint account owner. Am I wrong?
Edit: People cursing me because I said something about wanting to throw my chancla on my son's face, to be clear I have never laid my hands or my flip flops on him ever. But after what he did, my intrusive thoughts wants me to throw it but of course I won't. If he called the cops on me just because I want to talk to him, what more if I threw my flip flops on his face??
His relationship with me before moving to US was fine. He knew my struggle as a single mom and he always try to help me around the house. I was not strict at all he was free to go out with friends anytime. He was even thrilled to have a father figure and my husband always try to make him feel included in everything.
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Comments
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ManufacturerAny835
Lesson learned never give someone access to money unless you’re ok with them running away with it

OOP: He was a good boy before moving here. I thought he knew my struggles and how much I sacrificed to save money. I just thought he would never betray me like this.

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dingdongsbtchs
Honestly I think a lot of parents don’t realize the depth of their children and forget that just because you think of them as one way doesn’t mean they don’t have other layers that can make them a different person. Sadly your son has found some less than savory friends to surround himself with and now he has to live with the decision he made. I honestly wouldn’t offer help for university again and would leave communication up to him. Also has there been any questions or discussion of potential drug use??
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2workigo
The money is gone. And since he was a joint account holder and a legal adult, there’s nothing to be done except refuse to help him financially anymore. Let him figure it out on his own from now on. The friends he had will likely drift away now that he no longer has a fat bank account to fund their party lifestyle.
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Treacle_Moon
Her biggest fault is waiting till it was all gone to do something about it. She had joint access. She could have stepped in long before now and tried to deal with it. Too little too late unfortunately.
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Update - 12 days later
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I still have not heard from my son and I don't expect him to reach out. But his gf's mother has called me asking if my house is still open to him. I asked her why, it turns out he hasn't paid his share of the last month's rent and his gf had to pay it for him.
I said it is not my problem and he is not welcome anymore in my house since he is an adult. The gf's mom said "what kind of mother would not extend help to his teenage son?". She further insulted me and said now she knows why he left me.
At this point I really don't care anymore. I tried to help him get a good start in life but he wasted it. Aside from the $20k, he lived rent free in the house, free food, free phone, car, gas money, and I pay all the utility bills and his health insurance. All I asked is that he focus on his studies. Finish at least an associate's degree so he can get a decent job and be fully independent from me asap.
For some who asked why college is so important to me, as an immigrant, we are held under certain standards. We have to prove to USCIS that we will not become a public charge -- meaning we won't rely on any government aid. I want him to be able to be a good immigrant and become productive. I don't even know if he can become a citizen if he makes below poverty income. I was just trying to make sure he gets to live a good life.
Some of you asked if he even wanted go to to college. Back when we were in our home country, he begged me to pls send him to college no matter what.
P.S. The harassment charge was closed for lack of evidence of harassment, a lot of what he said were lies.
Edit: Another thing that gave me chills was when he moved out it was the middle of the night and me and my husband were both asleep. My son left the front door hanging open (I saw it in the camera). We live in a small town but there's a lot of crime in our area, someone could have gone in and done something bad.
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Comments
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bluedreamer62
Some people just have to learn the hard way, his gf probably had a good time with him spending his college fund now 5hat it’s gone the fun is over. So comes the reality.
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PoliteCanadian2
So you’re saying this is the Find Out stage that follows the Fuck Around stage?
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Sharp_Mathematician6
Yep
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SnooWords4839
His GF's mom has no right to bitch you out. Your son left, spend his college fund and now has to figure out how to adult. You do not owe him anything at this point.
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ladyalcove
She's just calling her out because she's realizing that now she has to take care of this bum.
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butterfly-garden
Yup. She, too, is in the Find Out stage.
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** New Update*\*
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Update 2 - 8 days later
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His girlfriend's mom called me again today and basically handed the phone to my son to "sort it out between us". I let him just talk and tell me what is on his mind. Here's a summary of his point of view:

• He felt like I deprived him of a lot of things growing up. I couldn't buy him an Xbox/playstation, iphone, or anything a teenager wants when we were in our home country. I can't afford it. Back then I was making $1k a month and saving 20% of it for his college fund and whatever was left was for us to live on. I was helping my parents too with some groceries so money was really really tight. When I look back now, I don't know how I made it all fit.
• He felt so small because his clothes were hand me downs from cousins or just cheap clothes I bought from tianguis.
• He said I was not supportive unlike his friend's parents. Some of his friends have wealthy parents who bought their sons a house and never had to go to college or think about their future because they will inherit the family farm anyway. I have no generational wealth to be that supportive. I wish I have.
• He said I have so much house rules. Yes I do. I want him to wash his plates after eating (I used to do it for him), clean his room and keep it tidy, make sure the windows are tightly shut in winter, keep the thermostat at 68 during winter to save electricity, come home at 11pm or else the house will be double locked from the inside for my safety (because my husband drives a truck and not home at night most the time). I also told him before that since he has a part time job, he can't use my credit card for anything but emergency anymore, but he still used it sometimes anyway (card's been frozen since he moved out).
• I asked him why file charges when I only wanted some explanation from him. He said he don't want to inconvenience his gf and filing charges is the easiest way to get me to stop trying to talk to him.

So basically he felt deprived as a kid and that he thinks he was just healing his inner child when he spent the money. He said his friends told him I owe that to him for bringing him to this world. He thinks that I should not have a child if I can't afford these things.
I asked him why he left the door open that night. He went silent for a few seconds then said "I just thought that if the house get robbed, I could just say I cashed the money from the bank and the robbers must have found it". Unbelievable.
At this point I was so emotional and I was a crying mess. I told him I am deeply sorry that I was his mom and that he had to grow up feeling deprived because I was poor. Then he said "Oh stop with your guilt tripping, you are saying that to make me feel bad.
Oh and he also said he hates it when I do this. I don't yell like that lady but I pretty much bug him to get up and help me set the table. I never get a response so I had to raise my voice higher. He said I was so rude. But he grew up with this. This is me being me. All moms back home do this. Al of a sudden he is comparing me to his mom's friends. In our culture we want food to be eaten while it is fresh from the stove. I spent 1 hr cooking after a long day at work, the least you can do is help me set the table and eat my food while it's nice and warm.
I hung up. My heart is broken in so much pieces. Am I wrong?
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Comments
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Whitewitchie
He has a chip on both shoulders. Leave him be. It's despicable he left the door open so you were vulnerable to burglars. Absolutely no consideration for your safety at all.
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Mtndrums
Dude's a spoiled brat, and an idiot to not see his "friends" were using him. You need to cut him off and let him figure things out.
dublos
Not spoiled. Mom could not spoil him.
Entitled.
This child believes he's entitled to the same things his friends grew up with, even though his parents provided the best they could provide.
u/MentalPlatypus5193 your son has made his bed. Let him sleep in it.
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I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP. Please remember the No Brigading Rule and to be civil in the comments

Hey guys. Ive been trying to tweak my list as i build it so that it fits needs that have popped up as I have been playing smaller games. Any feedback will be great. Just a few things, i am putting the gryns in the chimera and bum rushing a point, rushing the catachans to another point to try to get my opponent to split his forces, then the classic command blob with sully to buff my arty and tc, and tc then buffs the dorn and the exterminator. Thats the general idea. Of course once the game starts everything changes... lol Impies (2000 points)
Astra Militarum Strike Force (2000 points) Combined Regiment
CHARACTERS
Gaunt’s Ghosts (100 points) • 1x Ibram Gaunt • 1x Bolt Pistol 1x Gaunt’s chainsword • 1x Colm Corbec • 1x Corbec’s hot-shot lascarbine 1x Straight silver knife • 1x Elim Rawne • 1x Rawne’s lascarbine 1x Straight silver knife • 1x Hlaine Larkin • 1x Larkin’s long-las 1x Straight silver knife • 1x ’Try Again’ Bragg • 1x Bragg’s autocannon 1x Straight silver knife • 1x Oan Mkoll • 1x Lascarbine 1x Mkoll’s straight silver knife
Lord Solar Leontus (125 points) • Warlord • 1x Conquest 1x Konstantin’s hooves 1x Sol’s Righteous Gaze
Platoon Command Squad (80 points) • 1x Platoon Commander • 1x Close combat weapon 1x Plasma pistol 1x Power fist • Enhancement: Drill Commander • 4x Veteran Guardsman • 4x Close combat weapon 3x Lasgun 4x Laspistol 1x Master Vox 1x Medi-pack 1x Plasma gun 1x Regimental Standard
Tank Commander (220 points) • 1x Armoured tracks 1x Demolisher battle cannon 1x Heavy stubber 1x Hunter-killer missile 1x Lascannon 2x Militarum plasma cannon • Enhancement: Grand Strategist
Ursula Creed (55 points) • 1x Duty and Vengeance 1x Power weapon
BATTLELINE
Catachan Jungle Fighters (55 points) • 1x Jungle Fighter Sergeant • 1x Close combat weapon 1x Laspistol • 9x Jungle Fighter • 9x Close combat weapon 2x Flamer 7x Lasgun 1x Vox-caster
Catachan Jungle Fighters (55 points) • 1x Jungle Fighter Sergeant • 1x Close combat weapon 1x Laspistol • 9x Jungle Fighter • 9x Close combat weapon 2x Flamer 7x Lasgun 1x Vox-caster
Infantry Squad (60 points) • 1x Sergeant • 1x Plasma pistol 1x Power weapon • 7x Guardsman • 7x Close combat weapon 6x Lasgun 1x Plasma gun 1x Vox-caster • 1x Heavy Weapons Team • 1x Close combat weapon 1x Laspistol 1x Mortar
Infantry Squad (60 points) • 1x Sergeant • 1x Plasma pistol 1x Power weapon • 7x Guardsman • 7x Close combat weapon 6x Lasgun 1x Plasma gun 1x Vox-caster • 1x Heavy Weapons Team • 1x Close combat weapon 1x Laspistol 1x Mortar
DEDICATED TRANSPORTS
Chimera (70 points) • 1x Armoured tracks 1x Chimera heavy flamer 1x Heavy flamer 1x Heavy stubber 1x Hunter-killer missile 1x Lasgun array
OTHER DATASHEETS
Bullgryn Squad (90 points) • 1x Bullgryn Bone ’ead • 1x Brute Shield 1x Bullgryn maul 1x Close combat weapon • 2x Bullgryn • 2x Brute Shield 2x Bullgryn maul 2x Close combat weapon
Leman Russ Exterminator (170 points) • 1x Armoured tracks 1x Exterminator autocannon 1x Heavy stubber 1x Hunter-killer missile 1x Lascannon 2x Plasma cannon
Manticore (190 points) • 1x Armoured tracks 1x Heavy bolter 1x Hunter-killer missile 1x Storm eagle rockets
Manticore (190 points) • 1x Armoured tracks 1x Heavy bolter 1x Hunter-killer missile 1x Storm eagle rockets
Rogal Dorn Battle Tank (260 points) • 1x Armoured tracks 1x Co-axial autocannon 1x Heavy stubber 2x Heavy stubber 2x Multi-melta 1x Oppressor cannon 1x Pulveriser cannon
Scout Sentinels (60 points) • 1x Close combat weapon 1x Hunter-killer missile 1x Lascannon 1x Sentinel chainsaw
Scout Sentinels (60 points) • 1x Close combat weapon 1x Hunter-killer missile 1x Lascannon 1x Sentinel chainsaw
Tempestus Scions (50 points) • 1x Tempestor • 1x Plasma pistol 1x Power weapon • 4x Tempestus Scion • 4x Close combat weapon 2x Hot-shot lasgun 1x Meltagun 1x Plasma gun
Tempestus Scions (50 points) • 1x Tempestor • 1x Plasma pistol 1x Power weapon • 4x Tempestus Scion • 4x Close combat weapon 2x Hot-shot lasgun 1x Meltagun 1x Plasma gun
Exported with App Version: v1.14.0 (42), Data Version: v379

Might be a long shot but I figure I’d ask.
Any suggestions for good summer camps for kids in the Cedar Park, Steiner Ranch, or West Lake Hills region?
Affordability is a factor here as I’ve seen them cost as much as $450 a week.

When I was 8 years old my parents had just gotten a divorce, but just to add on to that my dog died a few days after. I was at my mom's house watching a horror movie with her and my sister, it was a week after my dog died, I told my mom I had to go to the bathroom and got up to leave. I got in the bathroom and washed my hands when I was done, I then walked out and started walking to my mom's room since that was where we were watching the movie. Her room was down a long-ish hallway, however the bathroom was even further down. When I was little I normally looked down when I walked, and that's what I was doing, since I knew the layout of the house, that was untill I heard an all to familer growl. With a little hope I looked up and saw my dog, Bobo, except he looked different. His full white fur had what looked like dried blood on it, one of his legs was twisted up, his eyes we're almost completly black and the parts that were supposed to be white were blood shot. I yelled in exitment as I started walking closer to him, he however started walking back but looked very uncomfortable. The area behind him was pitch black, I then looked up and saw a tall black figure withits arms out staring at me, it looked as if it had strings on it that were forcing my dog to move. In that moment my mom excited her room making me look back at her "mom look! Bobo is back!!" I yelled happily, but she just looked at me with worry, "Alex, honey.. Bobo is gone, I know yo miss him but you have to let him go..." she said as she picked me up. I just looked back to where I saw him but he was gone. We watched the rest of the movie and went to bed. The next night I saw him again, the exact same thing happened, but he looked worse. My mom came in and told me the exact same thing and he dissapeared. The next day I went to my dad's house and I didn't see him, but the second I was alone at my mom's house the same events went down. This continued for three years every time he looked worse and worse, but one day it just stopped, I had gotten used to him being there but it didn't bother me that he was gone. Fast forward a few years, we were at a family gathering an I brought it up to my mom in front of everyone "remember when I was eight and I was convinced I kept seeing him" I laughed but when I looked up she wasn't laughing "what?" I asked but she just shrugged it off. Around a month after that, I saw him again... We still live in the same house, I was at my mom's in my bedroom, alone.. I was on my phone before I heard a "growl" if you could even call it that, it was low and raspy, like it hadent done that in years. I looked up and saw him.. You could see every bone in his body, it was honestly scary. His eyes we're black but there was way more white then before but it wasn't white it was a really dark red. There were maggot holes everywhere on him. The same black figure was there, nothing had changed about him, I was gunna scream as it started moving closer to me but my mom walking in with food. It dissapeared and I ran to her, she told me to go eat but she had a worried look on her face like the first time I said I saw him. We all sat down me, my order sister, and my mom, she asked me what happened with a small shake in her voice "I saw Bobo again.." I said "but I didn't see him, I think I need to go see a doctor or something because I must be seeing things..." I finished as my mom looked at me muttering things under her breath before actually talking, my sister hoever was laughing a bit. "Alex, honey, you don't need to go to a doctor.. I've been seeing it to, I thought that if I said nothing was there you would cut it out or believe that it wasn't there for a while it worked but, I guess now it isn't.." my sister sat there with a puzzled look "what I'm saying is we will figure something out" my sister looked even more confused but went to her room, the rest of dinner was silent the last time we talked was that night for her to say she loved me. But that now brings us to now, while I am writing this I have been seeing him non stop and he won't leave, or even move. I think my sister has started seeing him to because she has been acting very weird lately, I still have a couple more days at my mom's house before I go back to my dad's, and I don't know what to do. He is genuinely scaring me, what should I do?

It was a typical Wednesday night, and I was lounging on the couch with my three cats—Mittens, Shadow, and Ginger—when the emergency alert blasted through my phone, startling all of us.
“THIS IS A CDC EMERGENCY ALERT. DO NOT GO OUTSIDE. REPEAT, DO NOT GO OUTSIDE. AN UNKNOWN PATHOGEN HAS BEEN RELEASED.”
The message repeated in a loop, sending chills down my spine. My cats, sensing my unease, huddled closer. I bolted downstairs to the basement, where I had a small stockpile of supplies. We’d be safe here, I thought. We’d ride this out.
Days turned into a week, and the supplies dwindled. The eerie silence outside was unnerving. No sounds of traffic, no neighbors, not even birds. The world had gone quiet. My cats and I were growing hungrier by the day, and I knew I had to venture out to find food.
Covering my mouth with a makeshift mask, I cautiously opened the front door. The streets were deserted, an apocalyptic wasteland. Abandoned cars lined the roads, and trash was strewn about, but there was no sign of life. I moved quickly, staying alert for any signs of danger.
As I rounded the corner near the local grocery store, I froze. In the distance, a group of people in hazmat suits with CDC and unrecognizable insignia on their uniforms were gathered around a body. The figure on the ground had charred skin, a sight that turned my stomach. I tried to back away silently, but one of them spotted me.
“Hey! Get inside!” one of the soldiers shouted, his voice muffled through the suit. “Now!”
Panic surged through me as they began to run towards me, their weapons raised. My legs moved before my mind could catch up, and I sprinted back the way I came. Bullets whizzed past, the sound of gunfire echoing through the empty streets.
I darted into an alley, heart pounding, and ducked behind a dumpster. My breaths were ragged, and I clutched my chest, trying to calm down. Peeking out, I saw the soldiers sweeping the area, their movements methodical and precise. They were searching for me.
After what felt like an eternity, they moved on, their shouts and footsteps fading into the distance. I waited, paralyzed by fear, until I was sure they were gone. I needed to get back home, to my cats, and figure out what the hell was happening.
I made it back without further incident, collapsing inside and bolting the door behind me. My cats mewed softly, sensing my distress. I sank to the floor, trying to make sense of the chaos.
Days passed, and the hunger gnawed at us relentlessly. The hazmat soldiers were a constant presence, patrolling the neighborhood. Each time they passed, I held my breath, praying they wouldn’t discover us.
One night, as I lay in the darkness with my cats, I heard something outside. A soft scratching at the door. My heart leaped into my throat. I grabbed a knife from the kitchen and approached cautiously.
“Help… please…” a weak voice whispered.
I cracked the door open and found a woman, her skin marred by burns similar to the body I’d seen. She collapsed into my arms, barely conscious. I dragged her inside and locked the door again.
She looked up at me, her eyes filled with terror. “They did this… the soldiers. They’re not CDC. They’re covering up something… something worse than the pathogen…”
Before she could say more, she slipped into unconsciousness. I stared at her, my mind racing. The real threat wasn’t the pathogen—it was something far more sinister.
The soldiers returned that night, searching more aggressively. I knew we couldn’t stay here much longer. Gathering my cats and what little we had left, I prepared to leave. We had to find a safe place, a place where we could uncover the truth.
As I stepped into the night with my cats in tow, I knew there was no turning back. The world outside had become a nightmare, and the only way to survive was to uncover the secrets that the soldiers were so desperately trying to hide.As I stepped into the night with my cats in tow, I knew there was no turning back. The world outside had become a nightmare, and the only way to survive was to uncover the secrets that the soldiers were so desperately trying to hide.
We moved swiftly through the deserted streets, keeping to the shadows. Every rustle of leaves or distant sound of movement set my nerves on edge. The weight of the knife in my pocket was the only comfort I had.
I needed a plan, but first, we needed a safe place to rest. I remembered an old abandoned warehouse on the outskirts of town, a relic from a bygone era. It wasn’t ideal, but it was our best shot. We reached the warehouse without incident, and I carefully pried open a side door that had seen better days. Inside, the air was stale, and the darkness was absolute, but it would do.
Setting up a makeshift camp, I turned my attention to the woman who had found us. She was still unconscious, her breathing shallow but steady. I cleaned her wounds as best as I could with the limited supplies I had. My mind raced with questions. Who was she? What did she know about the soldiers and their cover-up?
Suddenly, her eyes fluttered open. She looked at me, her gaze intense. "You have to leave," she whispered, her voice barely audible. "They're looking for you. They know you're here."
"Who are they?" I asked, desperation creeping into my voice. "What's really going on?"
She tried to sit up, wincing in pain. "They released something—something they can't control. The pathogen was just the beginning. They're trying to contain it, but it's spreading faster than they anticipated. The burns… they're from the inside out. It's like the body is burning itself."
My heart pounded as her words sank in. "What do we do?"
"We need to get to the CDC headquarters," she said, her voice gaining strength. "There's evidence there. Proof of what they did. If we can get it out to the world, we might have a chance to stop this."
It was a long shot, but it was a plan. I gathered what little supplies we had left and prepared for the journey. The CDC headquarters was on the other side of town, a perilous trek through an urban wasteland patrolled by hostile forces.
As we set out, I kept a vigilant eye on our surroundings, my cats close by. The streets seemed even more desolate, an eerie silence hanging in the air. We moved quickly, avoiding the main roads and sticking to the back alleys.
Halfway to our destination, we heard the distant hum of engines. We ducked into an abandoned building, peering out from the shattered windows. A convoy of military vehicles rolled by, soldiers scanning the area with flashlights. I held my breath, praying they wouldn't notice us.
Once they passed, we resumed our journey. The closer we got to the CDC headquarters, the more signs of destruction we saw. Burnt-out vehicles, collapsed buildings, and the occasional body lying in the street. It was as if the world had ended while we were hiding in our basement.
Finally, we reached the perimeter of the CDC compound. The building was heavily guarded, soldiers in hazmat suits patrolling every entrance. We needed a distraction. I spotted a gas station nearby and formulated a risky plan.
"Stay here," I whispered to the woman, handing her the knife. "If anything happens, run."
She nodded, her eyes filled with determination. I crept towards the gas station, my heart pounding. Breaking a window, I managed to find a few fuel canisters. I rigged a crude explosive with some rags and matches, praying it would be enough.
With a deep breath, I lit the makeshift fuse and tossed it towards the gas pumps. The explosion was deafening, a massive fireball lighting up the night sky. The soldiers scrambled towards the blaze, giving us the opening we needed.
We slipped through the perimeter and made our way into the CDC building. Inside, it was chaos. Alarms blared, and people in lab coats rushed about. We found a terminal and the woman began to download files, her fingers flying over the keyboard.
"Hurry," I urged, my eyes on the entrance. "They'll be here any second."
The download finished just as the first soldiers burst into the room. We grabbed the USB drive and ran, bullets whizzing past us. We burst through a side exit and into the night, the precious evidence clutched tightly in my hand.
Now we had the proof, but getting it out to the world would be another challenge. As we disappeared into the darkness, I knew this was just the beginning. The fight for survival had only just begun, and the truth was our only weapon against the horrors that had been unleashed.We ran through the night, the USB drive clutched tightly in my hand. The CDC soldiers' shouts and gunfire faded into the distance as we made our way through the abandoned streets. We couldn’t stop now. The evidence we carried was the only hope of exposing the truth and stopping this nightmare.
"We need to get to the old radio tower on Pine Hill," the woman said, her voice strained but determined. "It's heavily guarded, but it's our best chance to broadcast the evidence to the survivors."
The radio tower was a relic from the pre-internet era, now repurposed by the government for emergency broadcasts. It was located on a hill just outside town, a place that would be swarming with soldiers. We had no choice.
The journey to Pine Hill was treacherous. We stayed off the main roads, navigating through back alleys and abandoned buildings. Every sound made us jump, every shadow felt like a threat. My three cats, Mitten, Shadow, and Ginger, stayed close, sensing the tension.
As we approached the hill, the reality of our mission set in. The radio tower loomed ahead, surrounded by a high fence and a contingent of soldiers. Their hazmat suits and the strange insignia on their uniforms made them look more alien than human.
"We need a plan," I whispered, crouching behind a crumbling wall with the woman. "We can’t just charge in."
She nodded, her eyes scanning the area. "We need to create a distraction, something to draw them away from the main gate."
I thought about the explosion at the gas station. "If we can set off another explosion, it might draw enough of them away for us to sneak in."
We scavenged the nearby buildings, finding a few old fuel canisters and some rags. It wasn’t much, but it would have to do. We set up the makeshift bombs at a safe distance from the gate, rigging them to go off with a delay.
"Ready?" I asked, my heart pounding in my chest.
She nodded, her face set in grim determination. We lit the fuses and ran back to our hiding spot. Moments later, the night was torn apart by a series of explosions. Flames shot into the sky, and the soldiers at the gate scrambled towards the inferno.
"Now!" she shouted, and we sprinted towards the fence. The distraction had worked; most of the guards had left their posts. We cut through the fence with a pair of wire cutters and slipped inside, making our way towards the tower.
Inside the compound, we moved swiftly but cautiously. We encountered a few straggling soldiers, and a quick, silent takedown ensured they wouldn’t raise the alarm. The main control room was on the top floor, and we had to move fast.
As we ascended the stairs, the sound of footsteps echoed from below. More soldiers were coming. We reached the control room and barricaded the door behind us. The equipment was outdated but functional, and the woman immediately began setting up the broadcast.
"Keep them off me," she said, her fingers flying over the controls. "I need a few minutes."
I nodded, gripping the knife tightly as I stood guard. The door shook as the soldiers pounded on it, shouting orders. I knew it wouldn’t hold for long. My heart raced as I prepared for the inevitable confrontation.
The door burst open, and soldiers poured in. I fought with everything I had, slashing and dodging, trying to buy her enough time. The room was filled with chaos, the sound of gunfire and shouts echoing off the walls.
"Got it!" she yelled, just as a soldier lunged at me. I managed to dodge, and she hit the broadcast button, sending the evidence out over the airwaves.
The soldier caught me off guard, his gun aimed directly at my head. But before he could pull the trigger, the woman tackled him, knocking the gun from his hand. Together, we fought off the remaining soldiers, adrenaline fueling our every move.
The broadcast was live, transmitting to any survivors who might be listening. The truth was out there now, and there was no turning back. We had exposed the government's dark secret, revealing the horrors they had unleashed.
As the last soldier fell, we took a moment to catch our breath. The room was a mess, but we were alive. The woman looked at me, her eyes fierce.
"We did it," she said, her voice trembling with a mix of exhaustion and relief.
"What's your name?" I asked, realizing I never knew the name of the woman who had saved us all.
"Emily," she replied. "And you?"
"David," I said, offering her a weary smile. "What's next?"
"We find more survivors," Emily said. "We need to band together, stay safe, and figure out how to stop this once and for all."
As we left the radio tower, my cats trailing behind us, I knew the road ahead would be long and dangerous. But for the first time since the outbreak, I felt a glimmer of hope. We had taken the first step in fighting back, and we wouldn’t stop until we reclaimed our world.As we descended Pine Hill, the adrenaline from our successful broadcast still coursed throughour veins, we encountered a lone CDC soldier. He was younger than the others, his hazmat suit splattered with dirt and blood. He raised his hands in surrender, his eyes wide with fear.
"Please, don’t shoot," he begged, his voice trembling.
Emily and I exchanged glances. We needed answers, and he might be our best shot.
“Drop your weapon and get on your knees,” I commanded, keeping the knife at the ready. He complied, dropping his rifle and kneeling on the ground.
“Who are you?” Emily demanded. “And what the hell is going on?”
“My name is Sergeant Walker,” he stammered. “I’m just following orders. Please, you have to understand, it’s not what you think.”
Emily stepped closer, her eyes narrowing. “Then explain it to us. What have you released? What’s really happening?”
He swallowed hard, glancing around nervously. “They didn’t tell us everything at first. The pathogen was supposed to be a bioweapon, something to give us an edge in warfare. But it mutated… it’s out of control.”
“We already know it’s bad,” I said, tightening my grip on the knife. “Tell us something we don’t know, or I swear we won’t be as kind as we’ve been.”
His eyes darted between us, and he took a deep breath. “There’s a new variant,” he admitted, his voice shaking. “It’s worse than the first one. The mortality rate is 98 percent, and it’s incredibly transmissive. It turns the infected’s brain to jello, makes them mindless, driven by a desperate urge to consume others.”
I felt a cold dread settle in my stomach. “What do you mean, ‘consume others’?”
“They eat other infected,” Walker said, his voice barely above a whisper. “It’s like they’re trying to regain parts of their humanity, but it’s futile. They’re just spreading the infection further.”
Emily’s face paled. “How did this happen? How could you let this happen?”
“It wasn’t supposed to be like this,” he said, tears forming in his eyes. “We were just following orders. We didn’t know. By the time we realized, it was too late. The higher-ups tried to contain it, but it spread too fast. Now they’re just trying to cover it up, to hide their mistake.”
I looked at Emily, the horror of his words sinking in. “What do we do now?”
“We have to find more survivors, warn them,” she said, her voice resolute. “We need to band together and fight back, somehow.”
I turned back to Walker. “Thank you for telling us. Get out of here, go somewhere safe. But know this: if we ever see you again, and you’re still working for them, we won’t be as merciful.”
He nodded, tears streaming down his face. “Thank you. I… I’m sorry.”
We watched as he ran off into the night, his figure quickly swallowed by the darkness. The information he’d given us weighed heavily on our minds. The situation was far worse than we’d imagined, but we couldn’t let despair take hold. We had a mission, a purpose.
As we continued our journey through the desolate streets, my cats trailing close behind, I felt a renewed sense of determination. The world had become a living nightmare, but we had taken the first steps toward fighting back. We would find more survivors, we would uncover more truths, and we would stop this horror, no matter what it took.
The road ahead was fraught with danger, but for the first time, we had hope—and that was something they couldn’t take away from us.
As we watched Sergeant Walker disappear into the darkness, a sinking feeling settled in my chest. The weight of his revelations hung heavy in the air, and I couldn’t shake the sense of despair that threatened to overwhelm me. But before we could fully process what had just transpired, footsteps echoed behind us, and Walker’s voice called out.
“Wait! Please, don’t leave me!” he cried, his voice frantic.
Emily and I turned, startled by his sudden return. His hazmat suit was torn, his face streaked with dirt and tears.
“What do you want?” Emily demanded, her voice sharp with suspicion.
Walker stumbled forward, his hands trembling. “I can’t go back to the CDC,” he gasped, desperation evident in his eyes. “Not after what they’ve done. You said you need survivors… well, I’m one of them. Please, I’ll do anything. Just let me stay with you.”
I exchanged a hesitant glance with Emily. Could we trust him? After everything he’d been a part of?
“We can’t stay here,” I said, my voice low. “If you’re coming with us, you need to keep up.”
Walker nodded eagerly, his relief palpable. “Thank you. I won’t let you down, I swear.”
With that, we continued on our journey, Walker falling into step beside us. The night stretched on, the silence broken only by the occasional sound of our footsteps and the distant howl of the wind. We didn’t speak, each lost in our own thoughts, haunted by the horrors we’d witnessed.
As the first light of dawn began to creep over the horizon, we found ourselves on the outskirts of a small town. It was quiet, eerily so, but there was a sense of life here that we hadn’t felt in days.
“This is where we’ll start,” Emily said, her voice firm. “We’ll find survivors, gather supplies, and figure out our next move.”Walker nodded, determination shining in his eyes. “I’m with you,” he said, his voice steady. “Whatever it takes.”And so, with the dawn of a new day, our unlikely group set out into the unknown, united by a common goal:
survival. The road ahead would be long and fraught with danger, but together, we had hope—and that was something worth fighting for.
As the sun rose higher in the sky, casting its golden light over the desolate town, we knew our first order of business was finding hazmat suits. With the threat of infection looming over us, protection was paramount if we were to continue our mission.
Scouring the abandoned streets, we moved with caution, alert for any sign of danger. Emily led the way, her eyes scanning every building for a potential source of supplies. After what felt like hours of searching, we finally stumbled upon an old hardware store.
The door creaked open, revealing shelves lined with dusty boxes and debris-covered floors. We moved quickly, gathering whatever supplies we could find—flashlights, batteries, duct tape—anything that might be useful in our fight for survival.
But the real prize was the hazmat suits tucked away in a corner, their bright yellow material standing out against the gloom. We wasted no time in suiting up, grateful for the added layer of protection they provided.
Once we were fully geared up, we stood in the dim light of the store, our spirits lifted by the newfound sense of security. But our moment of respite was short-lived, as a noise from outside drew our attention.
Footsteps echoed in the distance, growing louder with each passing moment. We exchanged tense glances, our hands instinctively reaching for our weapons. Whoever—or whatever—was approaching, we were ready to defend ourselves.
The door swung open, and a figure stumbled inside, panting heavily. It was a young woman, her hazmat suit torn and bloodied, her face streaked with dirt and sweat.
“Please,” she gasped, collapsing to the ground. “Help me.”
Emily rushed to her side, pulling off her helmet to reveal a shock of red hair and wide, terrified eyes.
“What happened?” Emily asked, her voice gentle but urgent.
The woman took a deep breath, trying to compose herself. “I was part of a group trying to escape the city,” she said, her voice trembling. “But we were ambushed by infected. They came out of nowhere, tearing through us like animals. I’m the only one left.”
A chill ran down my spine as I listened to her story. The infected were becoming more aggressive, more organized. If we didn’t act fast, we could be next.
“We need to get out of here,” I said, my voice tense. “Now.”
With a sense of urgency, we helped the woman to her feet and gathered our supplies. The hardware store was no longer safe, its walls offering little protection against the growing threat outside.
As we slipped back into the sunlight, our hazmat suits offering a false sense of security, I couldn’t shake the feeling that our journey was far from over. The road ahead would be treacherous, filled with danger at every turn. But together, we would face whatever challenges came our way, united in our determination to survive.

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/Decent_Lecture_1514
I run a DnD group with kids aged 7-11 at my local YMCA, and some parents are trying to get the game outright banned. I have to have a meeting with both parents and HR Department and effectively present my case. Please help!
Originally posted to DnD
Thanks to u/PitaEnigma for suggesting this BoRU
EDITORS NOTE: because it's mentioned and some may not remember or been born when it happened, a quick synopsis of the satanic panic
The Satanic panic is a moral panic consisting of over 12,000 unsubstantiated cases of Satanic ritual abuse (SRA, sometimes known as ritual abuse, ritualistic abuse, organized abuse, or sadistic ritual abuse) starting in the United States in the 1980s, spreading throughout many parts of the world by the late 1990s, and persisting today.
Original Post May 9, 2024
Sorry if this is a longer post, but important context below ⬇️
So yeah I'm a program coordinator at our local YMCA and I run an after-school program (effectively am a glorified babysitter hahaha). This past school year I passively mentioned that I play a lot of DnD when one of the kids asked me if I had any plans that weekend, and it totally piqued their interest when I explained to them what the game was like/about. Naturally they asked if they could try and play and I figured sure why not, I'll write a fun and fam friendly one-shot for them.
They all absolutely loved it. It's turned into a proper campaign with about 7 of the 24 kids me and my coworkers look after consistently playing. I've had to limit the sessions to just 1-2 days of the 5 day school week, because I have other kids too that aren't interested in it, and I obviously still need to give them attention and interaction as well (and as you know DnD can be a very engaged and attention demanding). I thought this was a fair compromise. Days that it's nice outside we are always out running around, being active, playing sports -- but if it's a rainy day, or on our weekly Friday Movie Day, we generally play. It's been such a blast sharing something I love so deeply with kids who I care about so much.
So here comes the issue:
Almost every parent of the core group that plays loves that we are doing this (one even plays weekly and we bonded over it haha), but there is one child whose parents certainly do not; they want their kid just constantly active and engaged and playing sports, not playing "silly make believe", which I guess I get to a degree because this is kinda the MO of the YMCA traditionally; healthy active living.
​
I've explained that most days of the week we do just that, and that this is something we only do on Fridays or rain days when we are stuck inside, but they aren't budging. I think they have a misguided idea of the game and what it is, or maybe they are just fundamentally against it, I'm not sure. I don't think it's to the level of like the era of thought where media and the masses thought DnD was some kind of satanic game, but I feel like there could certainly be a bit of that.
​
Anyway they want it to stop immediately. I've told them I'm not forcing anyone to play, and that if they really feel that way they are within their rights to tell their child they don't want him playing, but they are trying to take it a step farther and get it banned. ALSO I would feel horrible if this child were forbade from playing while all his friends have a blast doing so. Just doesn't seem right.
I understand that it's a game that can involve more mature themes and gameplay, and probably isn't reeeeeeeeally for super young folk, but I feel the way I'm running it mitigates this for the most part: there's no PVP (so no bullying can happen), I'm dealing with waaaaaay less serious themes and stakes, and I don't even include any circumstances where they fight any other humanoids -- strictly just heroes fighting big bad monsters and saving towns. You know the drill.
So yeah long story short(ish) the parents of the one child have called a meeting with HR to discuss the playing of this game at the YMCA. I have it on Sunday. I'm confident I'm gonna have to effectively state my case and explain why I think this is not only an okay thing to be doing, but actually in fact a good thing. I don't know if I'll be able to fully sway them if their mind is already made up, all I can do is just speak my truth haha.
I do whole-heartedly think this game can be super beneficial for young folk. I'll spare you my long form thoughts, but between the teamwork and communication required and rewarded, the problem solving (both ethically and logically and mathematically), AND the improvisation emphasized, I think it stimulates a young mind very well. Lets them escape their own world for a bit and take agency and feel they have control, something young people so desperately desire.
So in conclusion, I'm kinda just writing this to get it off of my chest and vent, BUT I guess my questions would be:
​

• do you have any advice on how to properly communicate my points on why this game can be beneficial for young minds?

​

• Do you know of any other benefits I'm missing?

​

• have you ever had experiences similar to this?

Or maybe you disagree with me and think I'm out of line here, which is totally fair too. Just looking to start some dialogue.
RELEVANT COMMENTS
Thackebr

I know it is a hassle, but if you get to keep Dnd, you might want to start requiring permission slips. That way, you could avoid this in the future.

The_Law_Of_Pizza

This will make it less likely for the OP to get a surprise angry parent, but I don't like the precedent of demanding permission slips for a mundane board game.
It sets up an expectation that D&D is different in some way, and gives ammunition to these weirdos who are still trapped in the Satanic Panic - it lets them point to the permission slips and say, "Look, even your own policies admit that this is something to be hidden behind barriers and parental approval."
At a certain point we have to stand up to these people in society and tell them that they're being ridiculous and that we won't concede to their demands under any circumstances. That takes a great deal of backbone by the YMCA administration, though.

~
probloodmagic

Geez. Really putting the "C" in YMCA. I imagine looking into how people fought back during the "Satanic Panic" might provide some good advice for this.

u/efrique had a great comment about handling a new round of the satanic panic
Here
Many offered sites that share good info about why DnD is helpful and beneficial to kids
thatdanglion

You can point the leadership and parents to the numerous studies showing the many ways playing D&D is beneficial for kids, too. One, for example.

g3rmb0y

I just looked through this thread, there's a ton of great stuff here.
Some additional good orgs that talk about the therapy side are: https://gametogrow.org/ https://geektherapeutics.com/ https://rollforkindness.com/ (That's me) https://www.thebodhanagroup.org/

dgendbreau

D&D has also been shown to be useful in teaching kids about social skills, creative writing, theory of mind, mental math, team work, problem solving etc.
https://dnd.wizards.com/resources/educators

Update May 13, 2024
Made a post a few days ago about how I run a DnD campaign for some kids in an after-school program I run for the YMCA, and subsequently how the parents of one of the kids was trying to get the game banned and whole operation shut down. I wasn't sure the best way to make an update, but I linked the whole original post above so you can have a read if you'd like ^
So firstly genuine genuine genuine big thanks to everyone who took the time to read and respond with input and suggestions. It means a ton and really helped a lot. So I'm just gonna jump right in with what happened.
Firstly, I took the advice about getting testimonies from parents who were super happy that I was playing this game with their kids -- we weren't allowed to have outside visitors involved in the actual meeting with HR, but I got emails and messages from mostly every parent (besides the one complaining about it lmao) to voice their support and why they think this is not a harmful thing, and in fact actually a good thing. I really think this helped a lot and was a big factor, so thanks everyone who suggested. It's not something I would've thought to do on my own ahahah.
I didn't want to come in toooooo heavy with the articles and very clear scientific proof about the benefits of developing minds playing TTRPGs', because (as it turned out) this was actually more just conversational and "pleasant" than I thought it was gonna be, at least from HRs side. I did mention to them the multiple studies done on this exact scenario, but it turned out I didn't even really need them. There were definitely moments of tension, but this was a more civil conversation than I anticipated from all parties involved. I'm not sure if it was the fact that the parents who complained had to talk to me in person WITH my bosses and HR reps present and it calmed them down a bit? But yeah anyway.
I wish it was a more dramatic story, but basically I just levelled with them person to person.
People who said they were betting on it being a Christian, satanic-panic angle: you were right, mostly anyway. As in, that was definitely a main part of their argument. They are in fact Christian and were concerned, but it was really coming from a place of ignorance about what this game is about, and they specifically didn't understand the fact that the DM (me) can entirely control what the contents of it is. I'm assuming they just googled DnD and probably saw some things they didn't agree with, but once I explained that the way we were playing it included no demon spawn or worshipping, or any killing of other humans, or allowing of murder-hobo activity, they softened up a bit. I told them it's a strictly G/PG rated experience that I'm curating for them. And of course I explained the social and academic benefits of DnD, and how much of a bonding activity this is for the group, and how much their son in particular loves it. This helped big time.
Ironically, it was their other argument about wanting active engagement for their child (ie; sports lol) that was a little harder to combat. From their and HRs perspective, this whole program and the YMCAs MO IS in fact healthy active engagement. I explained that most days of the week we are doing just that. I'm a tennis instructor as well and have played sports all my life (and they know this), so I tried to assure them that I get their child a SOLID amount of engagement (plus free tennis lessons effectively haha). I'll save you the whole back and forth, but this was a majority of our 45 minute meeting.
Im trying to wrap this up with a bow but not sure exactly how, so I'll just finish with the bullet points from the end of the discussion:
• The game is not banned! HOORAY HOORAY!
• I am now only allowed to play it with them once a week (on Friday), but all things considered I'll take this as a win!
• and best of all, the complained parents are letting their kid continue to play!!!! I'm sending them a detailed summary of the contents of my game so they can look it over, but they said with it now "officially" only being once a week, and with a better understanding of what it actually is, they will let him to continue to play. I'm so unbelievably happy.
So boom. Happy ending. Again big thanks to everyone for giving their advice and linking resources; it helped so much and meant a lot. This is a big win for "the community" I feel, at the risk of sounding too corny. You are all the best. I love this game so much 🥹
RELEVANT COMMENTS
OOP explains how they made DnD G/PG rated

So the method I've taken is that this is mainly an explorative and mystery solving campaign. There is combat occasionally, but it's heeeeeavy on the RP aspect of these aforementioned things (aka 7 kids screaming over each other lmao)
I briefly mentioned in the previous post that when I do involve combat I don't include any that js player versus any humanoids -- so no "killing" of bandits or raiders or pirates or anything resembling, it's strictly taking out big bad monsters, or a big spidebats/owlbear or whatever when it does happen. This takes a big amount of the potential nastiness out: Timmy cant go home saying "Mom I killed 4 dudes today!", regardless if he understands the deeply political and socio-economic rooted reasons why it may be justified he did that 🙄 hahahah.
So yeah eliminated that entirely, strayed away from words like "kill" or "dead" or certainly "murdered", and have a very very "heroes save the town from mishaps" type adventure. For a quick example our last plot hook/beat (which ended up taking up like 3 Fridays because of how long it can take with young kids hahaha) involved them stumbling into a town and discovering that it holds the map to an ancient treasure that is rumoured to be buried in a magical woods nearby. Maaaaaany puzzles and skill checks later they found it deep in the woods by a magic tree and had to answer (very basic) riddles from the speaking and living tree in order to get access to it. They succeeded and absolutely loved it and there was no combat at all.

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP
DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/IcemanEx54
GM Locked Me Out Of Interacting With Other Players Because I Got Confused
Originally posted to rpghorrorstories
TRIGGER WARNING: manipulation, controlling behavior, sexism
Original Post March 6, 2024
I'm a player in a tabletop RPG campaign and I just wanted to vent about this session. The GM uses a "rules light" homebrew system and it's his homebrew world as well. He's been doing this campaign for years now, but I just joined through a mutual friend after another player left recently.
When I joined the campaign, the GM had told me he wanted me to be from a particular country as a prince, and since it was his homebrewed world, I went with it. The country I'm a prince of is a massive empire that has conquered many lands. I wanted to be a morally good character so I made up a backstory where my prince had a secret romance with a commoner so it gave me more empathy and understanding than my other royal peers would have. Then in session 1, he had the commoner immediately break up with me since the players were all leaving the city session 1.
Several sessions later, there is a carnival being hosted in the empire and all the players are attending. The players split up and my part began with my character watching as a mentally handicap child was put in the dunk tank and was being dunked against his will. So I had my character help the child and stop the game (This isn't relevant to the larger story but I thought it was really weird). Then I am told I have to go to the "main stage" which is just a strip club seemingly. And of course, walking around topless serving drinks is my character's commoner love interest that I made in session 0. The GM laughs a bit and comments, "Isn't it funny? Look at what your ex has to do without you." I have my character give her the shirt off his back and we go to the outskirts of the carnival to find a quiet place to talk, but then the carnival was ambushed by some enemies as arrows and fire rained down on the parade.
Suddenly, my character and his ex are teleported back to the main stage and the GM starts jumping back and forth between all the player characters asking what we want to do without any sort of initiative and if we don't respond quickly enough he skips to another player. I ask, "What direction are the arrows coming from?" GM, "You can't tell". "Which direction to the palace?" I ask. "You don't know," he tells me. I'm honestly genuinely confused about what to do here and my mind goes blank, but then the GM has my bodyguard (a Brienne of Tarth type) tell me to follow her so I do. As he cuts back and forth, another player loses his mom in the chaos, I tell GM, "I want to help him find his mom." "You can't see him" GM tells me. Then I ended up surrounded by 12 ambushers in the "Pleasure Gardens". GM asked what I would do. I say since the carnival is burning, I look for a piece of wood on fire and since it's the pleasure gardens maybe there's some oil I can spill and light on fire to separate myself, my bodyguard, and ex who are all with me from the ambushers. He tells me there's no oil and then I'm held down by the men. I tried to escape, but he says I failed (he just did a dice roll behind his screen and didn't tell me the results). I am then hogtied by the ambushers with my bodyguard and ex and thrown in a cart. Meanwhile, the other two players have stolen a cart and are escaping. I try to do a goofy wave as my character is tied up towards my companions and he just says, the carts never pass each other so the other players don't see you. Before the session ends he tells me my bodyguard is dead.
After the session, I think my body language showed I was a bit bummed. So GM pipes in, "You want to know why you failed that encounter?" He proceeded to tell me it was because I followed my bodyguard and there was no way a woman could have protected me and I needed to make the choice instead. Some of the other players chimed in and said it was surprising my bodyguard failed since in the lore she was a 20-year veteran who survived "The Great War". The GM keeps defending his choice. Then he started making self-deprecating jokes about how he just sucks then and he's the worst GM ever until the other players all reassure him it's fine. I kind of just sat there shell-shocked.
His system reduces dice rolls to a rarity and he does them all himself as a "way to keep tension". I'm honestly more about hanging out with my friends than judging the quality of any campaign or system but this was my first "combat" of any sort in the campaign and I just felt so helpless in this system and it was frustrating. Plus there are no insight or persuasion rolls, just what the GM claims "my character would know" and "how his NPCs would act". So I'm not sure how I was supposed to handle this encounter. Being a GM myself, I thought he was using my bodyguard character to get me back on track, but I thought wrong. I honestly wouldn't have minded if he was just railroading me for a plot point, but him trying to manipulate me and saying his hands were tied when he essentially locked me out of interacting with the other players for the rest of the session is what bothers me the most.
Edit: Changed gaslighting to manipulating since I was using the term wrong and don't want to dilute it's meaning.
Update: GM Defends Style And Told Me He Owns My Character March 20, 2024
This is an update from my post a couple of weeks ago.
One of my friends in the group reached out to me and asked me to not leave the group. He told me there were only 2 sessions left and asked me to stick around as a favor to him. I told him I'd reach out to GM and see if we could get on the same page. So I texted the GM and told him I wanted to talk because I had some concerns after the way everything went down last session. He was down and we talked on the phone a couple of days later. To my surprise, the first thing he did was profusely apologize. I hadn't been responding in our group chat, partly because I was mad and partly because my partner had a death in her family. I guess me not responding caused him to dwell on the last session a bunch. He said he was going to retcon my bodyguard's death and keep her alive. I even told him that the treatment of women in the campaign was bad and that it was making the story worse, he told me that it is something that he can work on being better about too. I was surprised, but all this gave me a lot of optimism for this conversation.
I was honest and I told him that his homebrew system is very difficult for me since I don't have a character sheet. So my character doesn't have abilities, he doesn't level up, and I can't do things like roll investigate or perception rolls which makes it hard for me to make informed decisions. I told him it makes me very risk adverse because I don't have things like HP to even know if I'm in danger. He responded to this by telling me I shouldn't worry about that because his GM style rewards me if I roleplay well enough. He went on to say he hates systems with things like perception rolls because that's "Not how real life works".
I also lamented the fact that I also don't get to interact with the other players much. I didn't mention this in my first post, but he plays with all of us in a Discord call but he only plays with us one at a time, and the two of us who aren't playing are expected to listen and record notable quotes for his notes. He'll switch between characters where each player gets 2-3 "scenes" in a 3 hour session. He has our characters all spread out across the country Game of Thrones style and I've only gotten to play with another player in 2 sessions so far. This was also why that carnival scene was so frustrating because all 3 players were finally in the same place and we were trying to find each other and he just kept saying, "You don't see them".
He told me that he doesn't do party-based adventures because you can't get character growth that way. I pushed back and said I've seen awesome character growth in traditional DnD style games in the past, it just depends on the group. I also said he's just making things harder for himself by trying to run three campaigns instead of one. And if we don't have character sheets and aren't in a party then this is all more dramatic improv than a tabletop RPG.
He responded by saying his way is better because it creates a real story and that I should be happy because he made me the main character. (I guess that is what me being the prince means?) He then went on a rant about how much he loves the game world he created and he's very grateful that our characters brought it to life. But then he says that since it's his world, he feels like he owns our characters now and that after the campaign he wants us all to sign off on him using the characters to write books and a screenplay. And if we don't he'll just change their names and do it anyway. He then thanks me and tells me that this campaign is the main thing that has been stopping him from self-harm and going to dark places. Then he says he has to go and he rushes to hang up before I can say anything else.
I'm dumbfounded after that rapid-fire series of bombshells. I've known since the first few sessions that this was barely a TTRPG, but I got to hang out with my friends so I didn't care what it was. It was nice to hang out with old friends a couple times each month. Then the story got weird, and there was so much misogyny, and then I had the horrible session that caused my original post. Then in this conversation, he throws up even more red flags that I'm not blind to, but he is also planting a seed that he may harm himself without the campaign which is not something I want on my conscience. I'm just exhausted at this point.
TLDR: GM says that abilities and parties make TTRPGs worse and he wants to use our characters to write books/movies after the campaign because he owns them since we're playing in his world. He says he may fall back to self-harm without the campaign, making me feel guilty for wanting to leave.
RELEVANT COMMENTS
ShitThroughAGoose

Any update to this?

OOP

I ended up doing one more session for the finale. There was some drama during that session and when I mentioned that I didn't want to play in the next season of the campaign. I wasn't sure if I wanted to post about it again. I might still, but I think I want to take some time and reflect on everything.

Final Update May 11, 2024
[Final Update] Moving On From My Toxic DM And Losing A Friend In The Process
This will hopefully be my last post on this sub for a long time, but I’ve been using this place to vent about my toxic situation for a while so I figured I might as well post how everything concluded and what happened when I left. I’m going to reflect on everything and recap the important parts so no one has to read 3 posts.
It all started when I decided to start DMing to keep in touch with some college friends after graduation. During my first campaign, one of the players, Pirate, asked if his friend, Colorado, could join. I didn't really know Colorado, but I figured, "the more, the merrier."
Colorado had some issues early on, giving unsolicited advice to everyone on how to play and viewing newer or shy players as “side characters”. However, he frequently missed sessions, only showing up for less than half of them for the first few years so nothing came to a head early on. Then, Colorado decided he wanted to bring back his tabletop campaign from his college days and started trying to recruit players after my sessions. Pirate suggested I join the campaign, promising that Colorado was a better DM than player. Since I had been the Forever DM up to that point, I agreed to give it a go.
I created a character who was part of the royal family but enjoyed interacting with commoners in the slums, even having a secret girlfriend from that background. After that, Colorado also started hitting me up to help with the campaign. I ended up photoshopping character art for a bunch of his NPCs and I even drew his world map for him. I didn't mind doing it, as I do that kind of stuff for fun.
For our first session, Colorado had already created character sheets for us based on our backstories, but only he could see them. Colorado would also roll all the dice himself so “all we had to focus on is roleplaying”. We played one on one in different "scenes" that could last around 30 minutes to an hour each. We usually had around 2 to 4 scenes per session, depending on what Colorado thought was important. During the game, Colorado asked us to write down quotes from him and the other players when it wasn't our turn.
I had to wait for well over an hour before I could finally play. My first session was on rails. I mostly just had to repeat after Colorado during a ceremony. Afterwards, I got to sneak out of the castle and meet with my commoner girlfriend, but Colorado immediately had her break up with me. Then I was told that I had to leave the city. I was essentially locked out of my hanging out in the slums and commoner girlfriend subplots. NPCs generally disliked my morally good character, especially my sister who was depicted as purely evil towards me. Despite my efforts to mend the relationship, she never changed her mind and Colorado never rolled any dice to determine that. Later Colorado revealed to me the character was based on his ex-girlfriend, who was originally intended to be the player character from my country before they broke up.
Eventually, I finally got to interact with another player, Soldier, who I had really good chemistry with and we had a really fun scene. Which Colorado exclaimed, “See! This is why I keep you apart. It makes these moments so much more epic!” But I’m just thinking that if we were in a party, every session could be this epic.
Then Colorado got busy. He went to some alternative medicine nature retreat and didn’t pay his rent the whole time he was gone so he got evicted. At that point, the campaign went on hiatus as people got busy and Colorado was couch hopping. It was during that time I considered the campaign over and made my first post because I thought it fit the sub. Then a year after the last session, Colorado started trying to organize the group to do 3 more sessions to finish the campaign. I just ghosted the group chat for a while, but Pirate’s roommate is a player in the campaign I DM so Pirate started hopping on the call asking me to come back for the finale. Pirate told me that it would be different this time because all of our characters were going to meet up for the finale and he really wanted to play with me. I naively agreed to give the game a second chance.
The first of those three sessions led to this post and this follow up.
[TLDR - I never got to meet up with the other characters. Colorado made my ex a stripper and I was captured by invaders with no dice rolls to prevent it. I had a conversation with him about my concerns after the last session. He apologized and agreed to make changes saying he needed the campaign for his mental health.]
Colorado decided to have a single super finale session, which I reluctantly attended because of sunk cost fallacy. I was imprisoned, beaten and whipped, separated from my girlfriend and recently resurrected bodyguard. A deus-ex ninja offered to help me escape, but I wanted to save all the prisoners. So I helped the commoners escape with the ninja before saving my girlfriend. My bodyguard got captured, but I made sure my girlfriend escaped and then I went to save my bodyguard because I wasn’t letting her die after she just got resurrected. I tried to find my bodyguard but every door was locked and I was forced into a long one on one fight with a guard that would make John Carpenter blush. I lost the fight due to an unknown -2 modifier on my fighting rolls, leading to my re-imprisonment.
Pirate tried to board a boat to reach my location, but was unsuccessful. Colorado informed him that the sailors refused to let him on the ship because they didn't like his tone. Fortunately, Soldier saved me and we agreed to stop the big bad and rescue my bodyguard together. With a squad of Soldier's peers, we pursued the big bad into the woods. Without any rolls, all the other soldiers were sniped by archers.
Finally, the two of us reached the clearing where the big bad and his followers were. We were outnumbered about 30-2. My bodyguard and the other commoners were tied to a tree. Soldier was the same race as the villain so he approached while I stayed hidden. He delivered an awesome passionate speech against the big bad's actions saying that it wasn’t what their ancestors would want. I’m sitting there waiting and hoping for a persuasion roll… and nothing. Colorado says the big bad doesn’t change his mind and he sets the tree on fire, causing my bodyguard and the commoners to burn to death. Soldier and I retreated into the woods to end the campaign.
Pirate was supposed to have a scene after us, but he fell asleep because it was past 1am. Colorado kept trying to call Pirate on the phone. I joke, “Hey, we’re old now, being up past midnight isn’t as easy as it used to.” To which Colorado replies, “I just thought Pirate had more respect for me than this.” The Discord call becomes quiet and after Colorado starts focusing on Soldier and I. He wants to know why we’re not discussing the ending more. I remarked that it was a bit of a downer and I’m tired. Then Colorado starts spiraling, saying that RPGs are just another medium that he failed at just like film and music. HE STARTS CRYING and hangs up from the Discord call. Soldier and I stayed on and had a short “That was awkward” conversation. I don’t know Soldier well so I didn’t say much about my grievances with the campaign and eventually we ended up just talking about Baldur’s Gate 3 for an hour.
The next day, I wake up to a barrage of texts from Colorado apologizing, mansplaining how hard it is to be a DM as if I’ve never done it myself. He then starts sending me messages with all his ideas for my character in the next season and how he promises I’ll have more freedom next time. I wouldn’t understand, but he NEEDED to do the prison sequence and my bodyguard to die for my character growth, but next season will be different. I tell him I’m not doing another season. Colorado replies saying that he thought I’d say that because Pirate (who was apparently not sleeping) told him Soldier and I were bitching about the campaign after the session. Colorado said that once I get over it, we can start talking about season 3. I reaffirmed my stance. Then Colorado texts me one last time and asks if I’ll still make his maps and character art even if I don’t play. I said no again.
It's been two months since I last heard from Colorado or Pirate. We used to play games and talk about pro wrestling all the time, but now there's been no contact. A lot of the comments on my posts helped me realize I was prioritizing Colorado’s mental health over my own and I felt like it was my responsibility to support his campaign because he constantly referenced how important it was to his mental health. Intentional or not, he preyed upon my empathy. I’m not his Giving Tree and I shouldn’t be left a stump for a campaign where he doesn’t even want us to affect the world.
I sometimes worry Pirate is going through a similar situation to me, but for a longer period of time. Pirate introduced me to Colorado, and he's really loyal to him. I think that slowed down my exit from the group because I trusted Pirate to be my friend as well. I remember opening up to Pirate about a panic attack I had while Colorado was spiraling one day, and he just shrugged it off as me being dramatic. It's frustrating. I want both of them to be happy, but I can't make that happen for them, especially if it comes at the expense of my own well-being.
I ended up venting to some of my irl friends and they really supported and listened to me which is why I didn’t feel a need to vent here. I learned a lot about what not to do when DMing from this campaign and it made me reevaluate my approach to playing RPGs. Now I'm in a group with my irl friends and it's a blast. I can relax and just have fun playing again.
TLDR - I started DMing to stay connected with college friends who were scattered across the country. One player, Pirate, introduced me to Colorado, who eventually took over as the DM. Colorado had some unconventional methods, such as not using character sheets and controlling all the dice rolls. The game became focused on his storyline and my character had limited agency. Despite this, I gave the campaign a second chance. In the final session, things went poorly, and Colorado had a breakdown. Despite his apologies and promises for the next season, I decided not to continue playing. I have not heard from Colorado or Pirate since. I now play with my real-life friends and it's much more enjoyable.
RELEVANT COMMENTS/ADDED INFO
TicketPrestigious

Glad you're doing better. That does sound like quite a toxic situation.
If I've understood it right, the stuff with Pirate 'falling asleep' but actually listening in to you and Soldier talking feels like a massive red flag to me. I understand worrying about him since you were/felt like you were friends, but if he's enabling Colorado with that sort of stuff then it's probably best to move on.

OOP

Yeah even the best case would be that Pirate woke up after Colorado left the call and just overheard Soldier and me talking without us realizing because his mic was muted and we assumed he had passed out and then he snitched after which is still a bad look tbh. I had been distancing myself from Pirate since he invalidated my panic attack prior to this. It's just hard to be vulnerable with someone again after that.

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP
DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7

First Previous
"Scargiver, this is Scathach." The Warmaster's voice came out of the Captain's wrist console. The wrist console looked the same as the ones they'd used in the Confederation, but it had been extensively modified to prevent anyone from hacking into it.
"Scathach, Mims." Captain Mims kept walking. They were almost to the bridge of the Encounter. "Go ahead."
"The Klaath are here."
"We know." Mims slapped a control panel. The door to the bridge slipped open. "The Federation called them, somehow."
"We saw the energy surge," the Warmaster informed him, "and we saw you disable the human ship. Do you intend to take up the hunt?"
The Oluken had roughly ten thousand Military ships in Tendril Sector. They were oddly designed, with glowing lines that shifted in strange patterns across their oblong hulls. Long metal tentacles sprouted from the ships, each tipped with some variety of energy cannon. Ten thousand ships was plenty for keeping order in a trading sector, but Yvian doubted it was enough to repel an Incursion.
"Hell yes," The Captain walked past the holodisplay, heading for the consoles at the far end of the bridge. "I never pass up an opportunity to kill the Klaath."
"I thought as much." The Warmaster grunted. "Have your Queenships protect the Gates. My Hunters will secure the stations. I've called reinforcements, and they will be here shortly." He gave a short, annoyed growl. "Someone will have to speak with the Oluken before they soil themselves."
Mims pointed at Lissa as he took a seat in front of the center console. "I'm on it," she acknowledged, taking the console to his left.
"Alert," said Kilroy. "Klaath clusters detected in Aldara sector."
"Of course they are," Mims gritted his teeth. He commed the Warmaster. "Lissa's taking care of the Oluken. We're having," he pointed at Kilroy, "two Queenships jump to each Gate. That should be more than enough."
"Affirmative," Kilroy acknowledged.
"The rest are coming with me," the human continued. "There's another Incursion at Aldara."
"Aldara?" Yvian could hear the Warmaster's raised eyebrows. "If the humans want to throw their planet away, let them."
"I can't do that." Mims took his hand off the comm and pointed at Yvian. "Systems check."
Yvian nodded and took the console to his right. She started a diagnostic routines. Scarrend squatted on his haunches next to her, pulling up a sensor display on his console.
"You can and you should," Scathach disagreed. "The humans are using the Klaath as a diversion. We're bound to defend the Oluken by treaty, but wasting forces on an uninhabited world is foolish."
"I know." Mims pulled up flight control on his console. The Random Encounter was nestled up against the massive hull of the Monster In Paradise. He eased the ship away from the Peacekeeper Queen and raised the shields. "I'm not asking you or the Empire to help. The Peacekeepers and I will be enough."
"Perhaps." The Vrrl allowed. "Unless the humans are dividing our forces in preparation for an attack."
"It's possible." Mims shrugged. "But I think this diversion's for something else. I'll explain later. I've got Klaath to kill."
"Then kill them here," Warmaster Scathach voiced. "Don't let the humans dictate your actions, Scargiver. Protecting their world is an act kindness that will come with a cost."
"This isn't kindness," Mims told him. "It's spite. The Klaath will never have Aldara. Not while I breathe. Can I count on you to take care of things here?"
Yvian's diagnostic programs finished. "All systems green," she reported.
"Foolish." The Warmaster chuffed in resignation. "But I suppose it can't be helped. Go defend your territory human, even if it's not your territory anymore. The Vrrl Starfang Empire will take care of things here."
"Thank you," said Mims.
"Do not thank me, Scargiver," Scathach chided. "The Oluken are of use to the Empire. An attack on them is a challenge to us, and challenges are answered with tooth and claw. We are the Apex."
"Fair enough." Mims pulled up a Nav console and entered the coordinates for Aldara Sector. "May Fortune favor you on the cusp of The Crunch."
The Warmaster grunted. "May your prey be worthy of the hunt." He ended the transmission.
"Our weapon systems are fully functional," Scarrend reported. "Shields are still charging. They will be at full in twenty three minutes."
"We'll go when they're full," said the Captain. "Kilroy, I want two Queenships at every Gate in Aldara. Have Admiral Zhukov send in half a million Stinger units, too. I want half of those protecting the planet. The rest will break off into groups of a thousand and go hunting."
"Big Daddy Mims," Kilroy objected, "we only have eight hundred twenty three thousand and four Peacekeeper Stinger Units. Sending that many to Aldara will greatly reduce the defenses of New Pixa Sector."
"Just do it, Kilroy," Mims ordered. "We've still got forty Queens and millions of convectional ships. If we get hit with more than they can handle, half a million Stingers won't make that much difference anyway."
"Affirmative." Kilroy hesitated. His eyes flashed purple before returning to the red of combat. "Big Daddy Mims, there is no reason for you to go to Aldara yourself. Peacekeeper units will be sufficient."
"No, Kilroy," Lissa disagreed. "We have to go." Yvian nodded her agreement. She knew the man's history, too.
"This ship is a standard Federation built gladiator," the Peacekeeper reminded them. "It will have negligible impact on an Incursion, and is at significant risk of being destroyed."
"I know," the Captain snapped. Kilroy's eyes flashed blue. Mims took a breath. "Sorry, Kilroy. I know the Encounter's not built for this. I know the Peacekeepers can handle this better than I can." He shook his head. "It doesn't matter. It's Aldara. The last time the Klaath came there I... I can't leave it alone. I have to go. I have to make sure they can't take anything else."
The machine left his console, eyes still blue. He walked over to Mims and put a hand on his shoulder. "This unit understands." He returned to his station, eyes flicking back to crimson. "Aldara will be protected. The Klaath will be destroyed. We will be sufficient."
"We will be sufficient," the Captain echoed.
"This is foolish," Scarrend objected. "You are throwing away Peacekeeper lives for sentiment."
"You're not wrong," the human admitted. He tilted his head, thinking. "Though to be fair, we'd probably be sending them anyway. A chance to capture more Klaath Queens is too good to pass up."
"Affirmative," Kilroy agreed.
Yvian pulled up a sensor display. Tendril Sector had a sizeable solar system. Lots of planets, and three hefty asteroid belts. None of the planets were habitable, but there were plenty of resources for mines and manufacturing. The sector doubled as a trading hub, and there were nearly a million stations scattered throughout the system. Most of the stations were unarmed. It was something Yvian had expected growing up in the Confederation, but now that she'd seen more of the galaxy unarmed stations struck her as a terrible idea.
Despite the large number of stations, there were only a few hundred thousand ships in the sector. Mostly unarmed Oluken cargo haulers. Yvian assumed anyone who had a jumpdrive had already escaped, leaving the rest of those poor souls to flee to the nearest station and pray that the Elders would drop shields long enough to let them dock. There were also a few hundred ships of the Vrrl Starfang Empire circling a few of the trading posts, gunning down any Klaath that came close. Several dozen vessels of the Pixen Technocracy were doing the same.
Half a million Vrrl capitol ships were dividing into smaller fleets and heading for the stations. The Priderender had already left the formation with an escort of four battlecruisers. More Vrrl were pouring out of each of the Gates, with fighter class Hissiths and Clawwings undocking from battlecruisers and running for the farthest stations at maximum acceleration. None of the Vrrl bothered avoiding the Klaath. Nor did they seek them out. They just moved to their destinations, smashing anything stupid enough to get in their way.
There were roughly fifty thousand Klaath Klusters so far, but more were appearing every second. Each Kluster was a sphere, made up of twenty Raiders grouped around a single Klaath Fighter and fused together. Most of them would drift aimlessly through the void until they came within a few hundred kilometers of a ship or a station. Then the Klusters would erupt, the ships separating and zooming in for the kill. Other Klusters gathered together, forming circles of spinning ships. Space rippled within the circles, opening portals to allow Corvettes, Frigates, and the dreaded Destroyers into the sector.
Two Peacekeeper Queenships were coming out of Tendril Sector's East, South, and North Gates. The Queens would take half an hour to exit the Gates completely, but that didn't stop them from putting their beam weapons to devastating use. The Queens concentrated their fire on the Klaath nearest the Gates. The Klaath didn't use Jumpgates, and destroying the Gates would be the first thing they tried. A few thousand Stinger units detached themselves from each of the Queens, switching their diffused anti-MAC weapons back to traditional long range beam cannons. They would circle around behind the Gates and kill any Klaath attacking from that direction.
The Monster in Paradise and one other Queenship stayed where they were, about two hundred thousand kilometers from the West Gate. Their Stinger units were launching as well. The Random Encounter idled within the Monster's shield bubble, staying protected until its own shields were charged.
The Oluken Military were doing what they could, where they could. All their ships were roughly frigate sized, about two thirds of a kilometer in length. They were fast, almost as fast as a Federation ship, and their shields were much stronger than Yvian expected. Their weapons were less impressive. Each ship had thirty two metal tentacles with cannons on the end, but they packed less punch then Confederation guns, far less than the humans and the Vrrl. The Random Encounter had more firepower, and it was just a fighter. The Oluken had been patrolling in groups of eight, and they were desperately trying to link up with each other or the Vrrl before the Klaath overwhelmed them.
Yvian moved to access the sensor reports of Aldara Sector, but a question from Scarrend interrupted her. "Shouldn't we be sending someone after the spy?"
"In the middle of all this?" Lissa gestured at the sensor display.
"We don't have to hunt her down ourselves," Scarrend pointed out. "A few dozen Peacekeeper units would be more than enough."
"There's no point," said the Captain. "The Peacekeepers let Myrsa get away on purpose."
"They did?" Yvian frowned at the machine.
"Think about it," said Mims. "A Peacekeeper unit's a walking lie detector. Do you really think they didn't know Myrsa was a spy? Or that she wasn't being monitored? There's no way she got to an unattended ship without them knowing."
"Affirmative," Kilroy agreed. "Peacekeeper units had to manufacture an emergency to explain why Myrsa Trin was unattended. The riots provided excellent cover."
"Ok, but... why?" Yvian frowned harder. "Why let her get away? Why let a spy work with Lissa at all?"
"I've got a better question." Lissa's tone was frosty. "Why didn't you tell me about it?"
"That was my call," said Mims. "You're an amazing person, Lissa, and I love you dearly, but you're not cut out for spycraft."
Lissa regarded the human with a glare so furious Yvian could see it through her helmet. "What's that supposed to mean?"
Mims returned her look with the seriousness it was due. "Lissa. If you knew Myrsa was a spy, would you have still made friends with her?"
"What? No!" The glare receded. "I wouldn't have let her work for me at all."
"Exactly," said the human. "It's standard practice to keep track of known spies. If our enemies have a spy in place they're less likely to try sneaking in another one, and it lets us feed false intel and uncover other spies. It's good spycraft, but it only works if they don't know their cover's blown. You're smart, beautiful, and a born leader, but you don't have it in you to pretend to be someone's friend when you're not. Not for long, at least. If we told you about Myrsa, she'd know you were on to her within a day."
"That's..." Lissa started. "I could... No." She sighed. "You're right. I don't have to like it, though."
"Intelligence is a dirty business," said the Captain. "No one likes it."
"Ok, but why'd we let her go?" Yvian came back to the matter at hand. "Why give the humans their spy back?"
"Good question," said Mims. "Kilroy?"
"Myrsa Trin has gathered extensive intelligence on our capabilities," Kilroy answered. "The information she has acquired implies that we are considerably more powerful and dangerous than we actually are. This will increase the likelihood the meatbags will surrender. More importantly, Myrsa Trin will give the humans access to a Lucendian crystal implant."
"What good will that do them?" asked Scarrend. "The only Lucendian ship outside of New Pixa is the child yoked to their anti-tech ship, and that specimen is too small and weak for the humans to pilot."
"Negative," said the machine. "There is one other Lucendian vessel outside of our custody. A vessel with the same capabilities as the fallen Skygem."
Another Skygem? Oh. Oh, Bright Lady. "Blingy," Yvian breathed. She'd handed the ship to the Xill shortly after getting her implant. She'd known the ship was alive. She hadn't realized just how sapient the crystal ships were, but she'd known she was alive. She'd known, and she handed her over anyway. Condemned Blingy to torture and experimentation at the hands of the machines. It might be the worst thing she'd ever done. "You're talking about Blingy."
"Affirmative," Kilroy confirmed. "The ship known as Blingy is still in the custody of the Xill. Specifically, the ship is located at Hub 14, under Reba's control. It is not possible for Peacekeeper units to retrieve the vessel without provoking a war with the Xill. Nor is it likely Exodus the Genocide can convince Consensus to return the ship to us if they succeed in defeating Reba."
"But Reba might give the ship to the humans," Yvian guessed.
"Especially if it'll help screw us over," Lissa added.
"Affirmative," said Kilroy. "Without a functioning Lucendian vessel, the Pixen Technocracy has no way to counter the Vore when they return. We cannot retrieve Blingy from the Xill, so we must take Blingy from the humans."
"A dangerous play," Scarrend remarked. "I have seen what these ships are capable of. If the humans have one when we do not..."
"They might be able to win," said Lissa. "And they know it. Why else would they do..." she gestured at her sensor display. "All this?"
"It's a big risk," Mims agreed. "But I think it's one worth taking. Good work, Kilroy. Tell the other units I'm impressed." He glowered down at his console. "I just wish... What the hell?"
Yvian checked her own display. The Klaath were leaving. Fast. Klusters circled up, opening portals to take the bigger ships out of the system. Those Klusters not forming portals disappeared, going back to wherever they came from. Raiders and Fighters still mindlessly shot at whatever targets they'd found, but the rest of the Klaath were leaving. In a few more minutes they'd all be gone.
"I've never heard of the Klaath just leaving." Yvian could hear Lissa's frown.
"We've never seen an Incursion without a habitable planet either," said Scarrend. "Maybe they figured out there's nothing here but gas giants and barren rocks."
"We get Klusters in uninhabited sectors all the time," said Mims. "Usually just a couple, but I saw a couple thousand pop in at Trinog Sector a few years back. They don't leave. They just float around until the bastards starve to death or someone kills them."
"Big Daddy Mims," Kilroy spoke up. "The Klaath are leaving Aldara Sector as well."
"What the hell?" Mims repeated himself. He typed into his console. Yvian followed his example, pulling up the sensor feed being relayed from the ships in Aldara Sector. It was just as the Peacekeeper said. The Klaath were leaving.
"Strange," Scarrend remarked, "but I suppose we shouldn't complain when a problem solves itself."
"No." The Captain's shoulders were taught. "It can't be that easy. Not with the Klaath." He was silent for a moment, head bowed, breathing slowly. His shoulders relaxed slightly, and he raised his head. "Kilroy, I want everything we can spare at Aldara. Right now."
"What do you mean everything?" Lissa asked.
"I mean fucking everything." The Captain was grim. "Every ship, every weapon platform, every fucking gun Zhukov can spare."
"Are you experiencing a hunch, Big Daddy Mims?" A tinge of purple crept into the red of Kilroy's eyes.
It was another scary thing about the humans. Premonitions. Hunches. Mims claimed there was nothing supernatural about it. Just his subconscious processing information, a benefit born of experience and the brain's tendency towards pattern recognition. Yvian wasn't sure it was that simple, but she did know one thing. When the Captain had a bad feeling, things tended to go very bad, very quickly.
"I don't know. Could be PTSD." Mims clenched his fists. "But better safe than sorry."

I have had many pets… cats and dogs. I had a kitten in the past with FIP. I was way too late before I even learned what this disease was. I lost her. I only had her for about a month before she passed. I tried the “treatment” but it was too late and she passed that night. Three years passed and I have 4 healthy fur babies that I am so grateful for. We decided to add another kitten to our household after my friend explained to me that his adopter never showed up. We were ready and I took him. He was special. He was my favorite kitty ever. There was just a special sort of kindness to his soul. We moved into a new state. I noticed him sleeping a lot. I figured it was stress from moving. I made an appointment at a local cat clinic just to check. They ran blood work but nothing was terrible. I started noticing him breath heavy a bit. I went to a vet for a second opinion. They went over the bloodwork and said it may be just an infection. We went with a shot of antibiotics and an anti inflammatory. There was no improvement so I went to the ER. I demanded an X-ray. They found his chest full of fluid. We had it drained. I went right to the treatment page on Facebook. I knew this was FIP and I didn’t want to wait to treat him. We met with a volunteer to show us how to inject. It was TERRIBLE. He screamed out in agony for a minute straight. It burned his little body. I told her there’s no way I can do this twice a day for 82 days. I called all around my new city to find someone to help us inject. No one was available. The lab result came back diagnosing FIP. The vet suggested Euthanasia. She told me how cruel it is to inject because the PH isn’t made for cats. She said there’s no long term studies of effectiveness. I’m so sad. I wish I knew there were pill. I regret not trying. I’m so angry that vets can not prescribe this medicine. I can’t believe I ended up on some black market journey to no avail. I miss my Cat. I don’t know how to cope with this pain!

Hey. This is going to be a bit long so buckle up. I would like to start by saying that I wish I had the confidence to do this in person, but I don’t and this way gives you an easier out. I started really liking you after you broke up with Abby, but didn’t say anything because I didn’t know if you were emotionally available after her. I tried to get close to you and now that I know you better I know that you are a great, genuinely great guy, and if you want to friend zone me I would completely understand and be honored to be your friend. I’m only saying this now because I feel like this is the most comfortable way for you. If you want to pretend this never happened, go for it. If you want to block me and not look at me again, you can and now we don’t have school in the way of that. I don’t really know what I am trying to achieve in this message, as I know you likely don’t reciprocate, and even if you did I wouldn’t know where to go from here as I have never expressed my feelings for people before, but I figured it was worth a shot.
I won’t judge you no matter what your response is. You don’t even have to give me one and I will get the picture, but hopefully you at least get an ego boost out of this lol.

Hey. This is going to be a bit long so buckle up. I would like to start by saying that I wish I had the confidence to do this in person, but I don’t and this way gives you an easier out. I started really liking you after you broke up with Abby, but didn’t say anything because I didn’t know if you were emotionally available after her. I tried to get close to you and now that I know you better I know that you are a great, genuinely great guy, and if you want to friend zone me I would completely understand and be honored to be your friend. I’m only saying this now because I feel like this is the most comfortable way for you. If you want to pretend this never happened, go for it. If you want to block me and not look at me again, you can and now we don’t have school in the way of that. I don’t really know what I am trying to achieve in this message, as I know you likely don’t reciprocate, and even if you did I wouldn’t know where to go from here as I have never expressed my feelings for people before, but I figured it was worth a shot.
I won’t judge you no matter what your response is. You don’t even have to give me one and I will get the picture, but hopefully you at least get an ego boost out of this lol.

Hey all, I’m doing a lot more practice these days and am really enjoying it. I’m getting myself away from zombie range sessions and really working on different things.
What I need to figure out is how exactly should i apply drills? I’ve got a good 5-10 drills that work well and target things I need to improve on.
How do I implement this into a practice routine? Just do drill 1 for x shots or minutes then try to apply in full swings, before moving onto drill 2?
How many should I do at a time? How much should I focus on the learning of the drill after doing it? Is it enough to just do it then move on? Do 5 drills in a row?