I 28/F have been with my partner 28/M for 12 going on 13 years. He’s my only REAL relationship experience as we got together when we were 15/16. I came from a very troubled household so in a lot of ways he has been my savior growing up. However in 2021 things started to get difficult, I put it on myself because both of my parents had passed away that year and I was in a very dark place. I started drinking a lot and stopped taking of myself (taking my medications) and I ended up pregnant. I knew I was very emotional and going through some things so I tried my hardest not to be clingy but he just stopped caring, I remember begging him to not to leave me in the house big,pregnant and depressed but it never worked. After we had the baby, I found out that he was distant cause he had cheated and once again I made excuse cause I knew my pregnancy was difficult, and I was very sick as well as grieving, I just felt like I wasn’t a good partner so I attempted to forgive(really I was so alone, just lost all the family I had and the one I built with the man I loved was crumbling before my eyes, I just wanted things to stay the same) . So fast forward a year and things are still rocky. We argued 2 months ago and he let me know that he has another child (basically he has been cheating the whole 12 years and has decided that he knows he wants us now) I tried to explain how that’s such a big betrayal of trust, and literally broke my heart but somehow I was told that I was being selfish and him having a baby just out in the world doesn’t effect me. Now he has involved family who are telling me I’m being selfish for wanting to leave. ( I should mention that at the start of 2021 we moved across country and I do not have any friends or family at all) maybe I am being selfish but it’s impossible to believe he could love me. Now it feels like he’s begging me to check back in to the relationship but I can’t look at him without being disgusted. Am I wrong for planning to leave?
—————-
TLDR After 12 years with my partner he told me he had a child sometime during our relationship but that’s all. Now he’s calling me selfish because I told him it changes everything.

Hey all,
I’m a 22(F) from the Southern Tier. Born and raised. I have just graduated from a small college in my hometown, with a Bachelor of Arts. And I’ve been thinking about leaving within the next two years after I finish my masters in school library.
My two big reasons for leaving include

1. The Weather
2. High Taxes
   
3. Now, hear me out. I do love all 4 seasons. (I love the fall and summer.) But I’ve had knee surgery twice, and I get really bad knee pain in the winter (no matter what kind of exercise I do). And I have pretty bad asthma that is not controlled. (I’m trying to control it and have been going to the doctor’s.) But the winter makes my asthma worse, and so does however, super humid and hot air.
   
4. This one is pretty much self-explanatory lol.
   

I’ve been thinking about Florida because I have some family down there, but I also don’t like the governor and how crazy some people are there…
Please tell me some reasons why I should stay.

This is a job ad but if not allowed, feel free to delete. Thank you!
Are you a life sciences graduate who is currently in the BPO industry with a toxic work environment?
If not, are you a fresh graduate with a degree in life science who is looking for your first job opportunity?
Or you could be a life science graduate (or even a license holder) who is looking into changing career paths.
This opportunity may be for you.
Thermo Fisher Scientific is currently hiring Medical Information Specialists to start on JULY!
Job Description Overview:

• Provides technical and medical information, and/or performs intake of adverse events/ product complaints with quality customer service.
• Analyzes and researches inquiries and documents interactions according to organizational, client and regulatory guidelines.
• The information provided will be given to a level in parallel with the individual’s expertise, experience, and training.

Minimum Qualifications:

• MUST be a graduate of Bachelor of Science in Life Science courses (Pharmacy, Nursing, Biology, Medical Technology, Psychology, and etc. – Chemistry is not considered)
  • Fresh Graduates are welcome to apply! (Trust me, we hire a lot of eligible and skillful fresh graduates.)
  • Applicants without BPO or Contact Center experience are welcome to apply! (We can train you! This is not a hard-core call center.)
• Excellent English Communications Skills – both speaking and writing.
  • Must be willing to undergo English Language Assessment (if required)
• Must be amenable to work on Night Shift (US Office hours).
• Must be amenable to work in BGC, Taguig (Main Office) 5x a week during training.
• Must be amenable to work in a Hybrid work setup (1 to 3x a week onsite after training period)
• Must be amendable to do 10 - 11 calls per shift. (I repeat, this is not a hard-core contact center!)

*Salary Package: 32k to 38k
Benefits:

• Hybrid work set-up after training! (1 to 3x a week onsite)
• HMO (Medical, Dental, Mental Health) upto 2 dependents
• Vacation Leaves
• Sick Leaves
• Insurances
• Hardware and other peripherals provided by us!
• Guaranteed 2 days off weekly!

\Salary Package - Offer MAY vary per applicant.*
PLEASE NOTE! Hiring process is tedious and may take time. Be patient and wait for the communication from our Talent Acquisition Team and Hiring Managers.

To apply, send me a DM!!!

I think they will get a real job next year because their channel will be completely dead when Emma leaves. Tbh I can’t wait for them to work again I’m so sick of rich people being out of touch.

Some history
My agoraphobia developed out of a number of traumatic experiences when I was younger. It has been extremely severe in terms of avoidance. I hadn’t left my rural county in 9 years prior to now.
When I was 12 years old, I got extremely sick in the city (~35 miles from where I live). I had appendicitis, but the doctors at the time could not figure it out. It was too late. My appendix burst and I almost died. I spent 16 days in the hospital and had to withdraw from the remainder of the school year.
This as well as severe panic attacks that I developed afterwards led to me developing agoraphobia, along with PTSD, OCD, and panic disorder. I’ve had to build my entire life around my agoraphobia, missing graduations, weddings, derailed college plans, and losing friends. I always felt left out by missing out on things, and I felt guilty that I’ve deprived my family from experiences with me as a result of it.
I ended up graduating from college mostly by taking classes online from a reputable university. I got two master’s degrees afterwards.
It was found fairly recently (2022 or 2021) that I had a genetic mutation which was preventing my medication from working for most of the time I had been taking it, and I had to start taking L-Methylfolate for it to work.
My brother got engaged in January of last year and they have been planning the wedding for June of 2024.
Recent Events
I’ve been making more of a conscientious effort to do things outside of my comfort zone, and I think part of this has been finding the correct medication. I had never before felt like I could actually “do it.”
In October of 2023, I went to somewhere outside of my county with my mom and partner by about ~15 miles and closer to the city. We went to a coffee shop. This was my first time leaving my county since 2015. I was nervous and had to keep getting up to walk around while waiting for our order. I started crying when we pulled into the town outside of my county because I couldn’t believe that I made it.
I’ve had a remote job doing really rewarding work. Just last month, my job had an in-person staff meeting in the city. They knew about my agoraphobia, and there was no pressure for me to attend. But trying to build on my success in October, I pushed myself and made it. I made it to the city for the first time in 9 years! I was so shell shocked that it was hard for me to process. I was only able to stay for 3-4 hours, but by the time I got home, I was exhausted.
Just a couple of weeks ago, I went back into the city again with my parents to get fitted for my suit for my brother’s upcoming wedding next month. Despite my trip to the city last month, I was really nervous to go. I did get really nervous a few times as it was slightly further than my work, but I made it.
Concerns
I’m very nervous for the wedding, because it is much further than the city. It is ~65 miles from home, rather than the ~35 which I have recently just started getting accustomed to. That may not seem like much more to most people, but that’s huge for me.
My brother hasn’t really talked to me about his wedding at all. My other brother was asked to be the best man. I wasn’t asked to give a speech, but they want me to be in the line. My other brother (the best man) asked me if I was going to go to the bachelor party, which I don’t think I’m going to be able to do. I’m glad he at least asked.
My family has likely just got used to excluding me from everything because of my condition. But it’s still sort of hurtful, because I feel like I don’t matter as much.
I am not the one getting married and it’s not my wedding, so I don’t really have any right to complain about how they want to do things. I guess it just sort of hurts that I have been taking these huge steps to try to go, and I can’t even be bothered to be asked to speak or do anything else besides be in the line.
It sort of annoys me that it seems they didn’t even take the difficulty of me being able to attend into consideration. Again, it’s their wedding, but maybe I’m just hurt because I would do the same for my brother if he dealt with something similar.
I’m also really nervous because of how far away from home it is. My partner and I were going to drive separate so we could leave earlier if we need to. But being that far from home and having a panic attack is making me feel super uneasy.
I’m trying to stay positive, but I’m scared everyone in my family (mainly my parents) are going to hate me if I can’t do it. Quite frankly, my brother doesn’t even seem to care if I show up.

Are you a life sciences graduate who is currently in the BPO industry with a toxic work environment?
If not, are you a fresh graduate with a degree in life science who is looking for your first job opportunity?
Or you could be a life science graduate (or even a license holder) who is looking into changing career paths.
This opportunity may be for you.
Thermo Fisher Scientific is currently hiring Medical Information Specialists to start on JULY!
Job Description Overview:

• Provides technical and medical information, and/or performs intake of adverse events/ product complaints with quality customer service.
• Analyzes and researches inquiries and documents interactions according to organizational, client and regulatory guidelines.
• The information provided will be given to a level in parallel with the individual’s expertise, experience, and training.

Minimum Qualifications:

• MUST be a graduate of Bachelor of Science in Life Science courses (Pharmacy, Nursing, Biology, Medical Technology, Psychology, and etc. – Chemistry is not considered)
  • Fresh Graduates are welcome to apply! (Trust me, we hire a lot of eligible and skillful fresh graduates.)
  • Applicants without BPO or Contact Center experience are welcome to apply! (We can train you! This is not a hard-core call center.)
• Excellent English Communications Skills – both speaking and writing.
  • Must be willing to undergo English Language Assessment (if required)
• Must be amenable to work on Night Shift (US Office hours).
• Must be amenable to work in BGC, Taguig (Main Office) 5x a week during training.
• Must be amenable to work in a Hybrid work setup (1 to 3x a week onsite after training period)
• Must be amendable to do 10 - 11 calls per shift. (I repeat, this is not a hard-core contact center!)

*Salary Package: 32k to 38k
Benefits:

• Hybrid work set-up after training! (1 to 3x a week onsite)
• HMO (Medical, Dental, Mental Health) upto 2 dependents
• Vacation Leaves
• Sick Leaves
• Insurances
• Hardware and other peripherals provided by us!
• Guaranteed 2 days off weekly!

\Salary Package - Offer MAY vary per applicant.*
PLEASE NOTE! Hiring process is tedious and may take time. Be patient and wait for the communication from our Talent Acquisition Team and Hiring Managers.

To apply, send me a DM!!!

Are you a life sciences graduate who is currently in the BPO industry with a toxic work environment?
If not, are you a fresh graduate with a degree in life science who is looking for your first job opportunity?
Or you could be a life science graduate (or even a license holder) who is looking into changing career paths.
This opportunity may be for you.
Thermo Fisher Scientific is currently hiring Medical Information Specialists to start on JULY!
Job Description Overview:

• Provides technical and medical information, and/or performs intake of adverse events/ product complaints with quality customer service.
• Analyzes and researches inquiries and documents interactions according to organizational, client and regulatory guidelines.
• The information provided will be given to a level in parallel with the individual’s expertise, experience, and training.

Minimum Qualifications:

• MUST be a graduate of Bachelor of Science in Life Science courses (Pharmacy, Nursing, Biology, Medical Technology, Psychology, and etc. – Chemistry is not considered)
  • Fresh Graduates are welcome to apply! (Trust me, we hire a lot of eligible and skillful fresh graduates.)
  • Applicants without BPO or Contact Center experience are welcome to apply! (We can train you! This is not a hard-core call center.)
• Excellent English Communications Skills – both speaking and writing.
  • Must be willing to undergo English Language Assessment (if required)
• Must be amenable to work on Night Shift (US Office hours).
• Must be amenable to work in BGC, Taguig (Main Office) 5x a week during training.
• Must be amenable to work in a Hybrid work setup (1 to 3x a week onsite after training period)
• Must be amendable to do 10 - 11 calls per shift. (I repeat, this is not a hard-core contact center!)

*Salary Package: 32k to 38k
Benefits:

• Hybrid work set-up after training! (1 to 3x a week onsite)
• HMO (Medical, Dental, Mental Health) upto 2 dependents
• Vacation Leaves
• Sick Leaves
• Insurances
• Hardware and other peripherals provided by us!
• Guaranteed 2 days off weekly!

\Salary Package - Offer MAY vary per applicant.*
PLEASE NOTE! Hiring process is tedious and may take time. Be patient and wait for the communication from our Talent Acquisition Team and Hiring Managers.

To apply, send me a DM!!!

Are you a life sciences graduate who is currently in the BPO industry with a toxic work environment?
If not, are you a fresh graduate with a degree in life science who is looking for your first job opportunity?
Or you could be a life science graduate (or even a license holder) who is looking into changing career paths.
This opportunity may be for you.
Thermo Fisher Scientific is currently hiring Medical Information Specialists to start on JULY!
Job Description Overview:

• Provides technical and medical information, and/or performs intake of adverse events/ product complaints with quality customer service.
• Analyzes and researches inquiries and documents interactions according to organizational, client and regulatory guidelines.
• The information provided will be given to a level in parallel with the individual’s expertise, experience, and training.

Minimum Qualifications:

• MUST be a graduate of Bachelor of Science in Life Science courses (Pharmacy, Nursing, Biology, Medical Technology, Psychology, and etc. – Chemistry is not considered)
  • Fresh Graduates are welcome to apply! (Trust me, we hire a lot of eligible and skillful fresh graduates.)
  • Applicants without BPO or Contact Center experience are welcome to apply! (We can train you! This is not a hard-core call center.)
• Excellent English Communications Skills – both speaking and writing.
  • Must be willing to undergo English Language Assessment (if required)
• Must be amenable to work on Night Shift (US Office hours).
• Must be amenable to work in BGC, Taguig (Main Office) 5x a week during training.
• Must be amenable to work in a Hybrid work setup (1 to 3x a week onsite after training period)
• Must be amendable to do 10 - 11 calls per shift. (I repeat, this is not a hard-core contact center!)

*Salary Package: 32k to 38k
Benefits:

• Hybrid work set-up after training! (1 to 3x a week onsite)
• HMO (Medical, Dental, Mental Health) upto 2 dependents
• Vacation Leaves
• Sick Leaves
• Insurances
• Hardware and other peripherals provided by us!
• Guaranteed 2 days off weekly!

\Salary Package - Offer MAY vary per applicant.*
PLEASE NOTE! Hiring process is tedious and may take time. Be patient and wait for the communication from our Talent Acquisition Team and Hiring Managers.

To apply, send me a DM!!!

I'm already 22 but I haven't been to college and have only been employed once for a short while. I'm fully dependent on my parents for mostly everything but I try not to ask for anything because I already feel guilty enough for existing. For context, I have school debt, that's why I can't get my senior high school diploma, and apply to any colleges. My dad basically has lost his job and my mom is having trouble paying my tuition off, on top of all our expenses and debt. I also have a debilitating mental illness which prevents me from holding a job for long, that's why I had to leave my previous work and almost fail school countless times. Now, I have things I want to do, for once in my life I have something to live for everyday. One of those is that I want to study Japanese and I'm planning on taking a JLPT exam on December to get a certificate needed for a well-paying Japanese translator job position. I am passionate about this cause and I'm working hard to attain my goal—well, WAS working hard. Because I couldn't take it anymore. Everyday I feel like shit because my mom's struggling and I'll continue to hate myself if I don't do something about it. So I'm trying to come to the decision to get another job to help my mom. And I don't know, I feel lost, I feel like a helpless kid. I know it's the most obvious, most practical adult choice to get a job—I'm already 22, for christ's sake—but I can't help but be deeply saddened by the fact that I'm letting go of a life I wanted to have. I'm in this weird transitional place in my life and I feel so alone. I don't have anyone to talk to about this because I basically don't have any friends anymore, too. I don't want to fall into a pit of depression right now because my mom needs me. I didn't know growing up should be this painful because I feel like it's not just about me getting another job to pay for the bills like an adult would eventually have to do, it's also about sacrificing the last few moments of my youth unwillingly. I mean, I'm still in the process of figuring shit out and getting my shit together and then suddenly I have to work, too. I don't even know if what I feel is valid or if I'm just being a pussy about it. I still have trouble accepting that I'm not a kid anymore—right now, all I can do is cry.

I've posted about a year ago regarding my then 7th month old scratching his head and hurting himself in the process. You can find the old post here: https://www.reddit.com/Parenting/comments/139ip9z/baby_wont_stop_scratching_his_head_until_it_bleads/
Recently I've had 3 different parents that have found the post and were in the same situation, inboxing for an update/solution, so I decided to make an update post in case more parents are looking for answers. Sorry I took so long. I know the despair you feel. I assure you it will get better if you persevere. This is an extremely long post, so I have bolded the several topics, in case you don't want to read everything, so they are easier to find.
To update on my son's situation: He's now 1y and 7 months. He is allergic to milk and he has a combination of cradle cap and eczema. In addition to this, he was also born with Hydronephrosis (enlarged kidneys) which means he is limited in the medication that he's allowed to take (no ipobrufren, as an example)
The Cradle Cap situation has improved by itself, mainly by just carrying on with what we were doing. We use the Frida Flake Fixer treatment and a cradle cap shampoo (Dentinox). We've also been advised not to wash his head every day, leave it 1 or 2 days (one doctor even said once a week). For the cuts, the best thing was indeed a Vaseline barrier to help the raw skin heal. Even though it definitely stinks, the healing is the most important part. I would put Vaseline on his scalp the day before a bath, do the treatment with the Frida Brush and then I would rub a Baby Scalp Oil (Colief) to soften the flakes on the day after the bath; I would put Vaseline on the scalp the next day and he would take a bath the next day, rinse and repeat, until the cuts were healed, and I could ditch the Vaseline step. If the cut was deep I would sometimes apply Sudocream only at night after a bath and the Vaseline was removed and he'd fallen asleep so he wouldn't take it off. He still slept with mittens inside his cuffed babygrow, but he always managed to get one or two fingers out, I kid you not when I say, that sometimes I would sleep holding his hand to prevent him from scratching his head when the wounds here at it's worst. All of these steps have contributed to has improved the cradle cap lot and eventually disappeared in about a month's time. He's going trough a second outbreak now, a year later, but no where near as bad as it was then, he's not scratching himself to death.
The Eczema situation. Right....... this situation has improved for a few good 7-8 months with the Aveeno Baby Dermexa Emollient Cream. I would use it 3 times a day or more to fight of dry skin. The areas where the skin folded were the worst. Arm folds, neck folds, behind the knees, there the eczema would install and spread, That could only be controlled an Hydrocortisoid Cream, 1% w/w. It did eventually disappeared save for one spot -- just behind the right knee. He developed a habit of scratching it with his left foot. But, lets put the Eczema situation on hold for a moment, while we talk about:
The Milk Allergy situation.... Oh Boy..... this is about to get very long.....
In my previous post made at the beginning of May 2023, I stated that my son had been to the A&E (a week before the post) for an allergic reaction to porridge, so he would either be allergic to Milk and/or Gluten. We were told a referral was done to our GP for a visit by an allergy team who would walk us through to process of slowly introducing allergens so that my son would hopefully be able to safely be exposed to them in the future and advised to "only feed him vegetables and fruit". We were given an "prescription" for an antihistamine to continue the treatment and to use as an SOS in case of another allergic reaction in the future. No allergy tests were done for my son at all.
We were told that, it would take a couple of weeks before we were contacted by the allergy team and to contact the GP after two weeks if we hadn't heard from them. We waited a month and nothing. At the end of May, I went to our GP to ask for updates on this situation. Imagine my shock when the GP told me that they didn't even have ANY information about my son being in the A&E. They've spent 1h contacting the hospital to get the paperwork from the A&E that SHOULD have been sent to our GP. In said paperwork, it states that the hospital would like the GP to sort out the allergy appointment. So, no allergy appointment had been made for an entire month and if I hadn't enquired about this situation, the GP would have had no clue about the need to make one because they didn't have the necessary paperwork! I was given an apology and scheduled an "assessment appointment" 2 days later. I enquired about an Antihistamine prescription, since my son was gonna start nursery in a couple of weeks when my maternity leave would end and I needed to provide a bottle for them in case of an allergic reaction, because we still didn't know what my son was allergic to.... Lo and behold, when the GP staff looks at the hospital paperwork, it was stated that no more antihistaminic was necessary, against what we were advised, as we should have one antihistamine as SOS, I had to press the GP to provide us with an prescription (which the lady was very quick to do after seeing me ready to implode regarding this absolute incompetence) so the nursery could have one antihistamine with themselves as we couldn't keep juggling our bottle back and forth with them.
The assessment appointment which basically consisted in 5 mins of asking for details about the allergic reaction, all of which was written in A&E's paperwork and only then being referred to a dietitian's team. I was given no ETA, no info about where it would be, no contact that I could call to at least be put on a waiting list in case of a cancellation, nothing. I was only asked to wait and when confronted, the practitioner admitted that this appointment COULD have been made straight in the hospital's A&E, instead of this ridiculous and time wasting bureaucratic football between the Hospital and the GP.
You might think this was the end of the miscommunication and incompetence.... Oh oh But no,.. of course not!! I waited another month of silence. At the end of June I called the hospital's appointment hotline enquiring about my son's appointment, only to be told that he doesn't have one because a referral hadn't been made yet! I was fuming!! I immediately called the GP who have assured me that a referral has been sent to the hospital's Paediatric and gave me it's referral number and they would enquire....
If you are in the UK like I am and you see that your baby/child is being ignored by your GP / Hospital and not getting the appropriate care, then do as I did and contact PALS near your area. That was the best piece of advice that I have received from people at my local breastfeeding group, and if being a mother has taught me anything, is that sometimes, you will have to be a momma bear (aka Karen to the eyes of the target) and advocate for your child. I work in retail, I despise Karens and I have no wish to be one, I am usually a pushover. But I will not allow anyone to trample on my son's health. And while I do have respect for the NHS, seeing has my brother in law works there, I know damn well, by his own words, that the main problem is not the lack of funds, but the pockets where they go and the terrible disorganization.
At that point I had enough of excuses and I made a complaint to PALS about both the GP and the Hospital. My son was almost 9months and still breastfeeding but eating mostly Vegetables and Fruit as solid food as per A&E'S guidelines, delaying his weaning and feeding development and causing stress with the nursery and our family as we didn't know what he was allergic to and couldn't move on to full meals. I flat out asked them if they were intent on my son completing an entire year of life being fed only Vegetables and Fruit besides breastmilk, and called them out because an 8 month baby should not be put on the back burner over and over again due to the incredibly poor communication between these two organizations and have his health jeopardized. I demanded a resolution ASAP and forward this to the Paediatrician as I did not trust the hospital to be able clearly communicate between their departments and whom I suspected had not been told absolutely nothing regarding all this. Two days later the allergy team specialist rang me to personally and profusely apologise and take the situation under her control and give me her allergy guidelines which I should have been given since the beginning. I was still forced to wait until early July for a allergy test - Milk was found to be the culprit.
I still thank everything that I had enough perseverance to stick with breastfeeding and never, ever, though to look at formula. I tremble to think about the consequences, Even though I'm aware that dairy free formulas exist, me being a 1st time ignorant mother, chances were I could have picked a wrong one. Fortunately I produced more than enough milk and my son had a good latch. Also because my son was not making any allergic reactions to my milk, this meant there was a higher chance that he could grow out of his allergy, as he was still getting enzymes from the dairy that I consumed. From here on, food introduction was a breeze. He's a real foodie, he loves to eat and he loves to eat with us. Adapting our diet was a bit of work, as I have IBS and my husband is diabetic so there might be some foods that will be a trigger or might not be the most ideal to someone in our family, but we managed to strike a good balance. Vegan options do help and we are having fun exploring that.
The problems then came with the nursery. After letting them know that my son was allergic to milk and other things were fine, the cases of allergic reaction in the nursery stated to increase and he started getting very bad reactions. First we suspected cross contamination, then that he might be allergic to something else, but the foods they were saying he was allergic to made absolutely no sense as he was just fine having those at home. We came to the conclusion after several events in the softplay area - that involved no food at all - that the culprit might be their cleaning products and further pressed after two different members of staff said they themselves were allergic to that product - Milton. After several bickerings between us and the nursery and us visiting our origin country for Xmas where my son ate in 4 different household and 5 different restaurant with absolutely no allergy reaction (in comparing to the then daily cases of reaction on the 3 days that he stayed at nursery), we finally convinced the nursery to change their cleaning products - they are now using Sanell. In addiction to prevent cross contamination, my son was given his own high chair, that no other child uses. Happy to say the cases of allergy are nearly non-existent now. His recent blood results also came back with amazingly good improvements, so we got the thumbs up from the Allergy Team and the Paediatrician to start the milk ladder and slowly and gradually adding milk to his diet. Currently he's in stage one and having half a teaspoon of malted milk biscuit daily with no reaction. It will probably still be able two months until he can have a full biscuit, but I can't wait to see his smile when we get to this stage - he loves taking the little piece of my hand.
Because of the back and forth with the nursery and them insisting that the allergic reaction could be due to other foods, the allergy team at the hospital was more concerned with that than his Eczema situation. We had to insist about it, since we suspected the reactions might be Eczema instead, stating that I was still waiting for the promised skin specialist appointment since end of April last year. The lead Team Speciallist, again showed her amazing professionalism and chased up the situation and we finally got our appointment jointly with her and the skin specialist in January of this year. She gave us a few products to try but said that the Eczema situation was relatively controlled. The samples that she gave were:

• Dermol 500 Lotion - we still use this for his bath as a soap substitute
• Adex Gel - kind like an emollient cream, it was ok-ish
• Cetraben Cream - didn't seem to make any difference, but can also be used as a soap substitute so we'll give it a go after Dermol is finished
• Zerodearm Ointment - didn't seem to make any difference, but it has a Vaseline like quality to it, so might try again

About a week after the appointment, my Son had an mild outbreak of Eczema on his legs. We tried several combinations of above products that seemed to temporally control the situation but didn't complete solve it. In Early March of this year the Eczema appeared in his back. He has a huge red birthmark the size of my hand on his back, so that skin is very sensitive. He started to scratch and rub his back against things and it didn't took long to break the skin. It didn't bleed but it was oozing/weeping which would make the skin get stuck to his clothes and then get raw, so no treatment was going to work on that as it would slide off with the oozing/weeping. I despaired then as I had a year ago.
So I went back to the thing that worked last time - Vaseline. This time though, it was on a place that I couldn't exactly leave uncovered. My son was about to do some blood tests so hospital had given us numb cream to put on the inside of his elbows and some clear medical film. He had this done before and I remembered that the film had been resistant enough to keep the cream in and didn't hurt his skin, so I though, maybe I could apply the same theory. So I bought some clear medical film (Tegaderm Film), put a good chunk of Vaseline on the wound and sealed it with the film. I changed this twice or three times a day, depending if he was in the nursery or not. It worked like a charm and it allowed the skin to heal. For reference, the nursery manager, whose son suffers with really bad eczema has suggested me the AproDerm Ointment which also has a Vaseline consistency to it, but my son's situation cleared up before I had to use it.
The skin specialist by then had prescribed a treatment with another hydrocortisoid cream ( Daktacort 2% 1% w/w, needs to be kept refridgerated ) and an emollient cream - Epimax Oatmeal Cream. For the other patches of Eczema (that were not in wound), I would use Daktacord, once in the morning, once in the evening, and I would use Epimax to keep the skin moisturized along the day, whenever I would change a diaper. The skin specialist told us to keep using Daktacord twice a day for a week, then drop it to once a day on the following week, and then drop it to every other day on the week after. This has worked brilliantly and it solved all Eczema patches, including the stubborn one behind his right knee, We were able to drop the Daktacord and we now only use the Epimax emollient regularly about twice a day.
Thank you if you have read everything so far, I hope you have found something that could be of use to you. Happy to answer any questions that you might have, or if you're feeling desperate like I was and just need some reassurance, just drop me message!

My wife, Day (30), and I (29) have been together for seven years and just welcomed our baby girl four weeks ago. I am originally from East Africa, and Day is African American. About five years ago, I filed for my mother, Ana, to relocate to the US because I'm her only child and wanted her closer. I informed Day of this move, and she pushed against it. We argued, and I assured her that Ana would only stay temporarily with us for three months, after which I would help her find a job and a place to become independent. Day even argued that if Ana moved here, we would need to relocate to the South of the US to be closer to her mom, which was weird to me, but I was okay with relocating.
Fast forward to five months ago, Ana's visa was approved, and she needed to leave her home country for the US within six months. Coincidentally, Day was pregnant at the same time. I reminded Day about the relocation, and she threw a fit about it and used a lot of profanity toward Ana even though she had never met her. She also asked me to choose between her and Ana. I was confused about the question, as I never intended to make Ana live with us permanently or beyond the three months we had initially agreed on.
Also, throughout this period, I excused Day's behavior by blaming hormone changes due to pregnancy.Three weeks ago, we had a baby girl, and Ana arrived a week later, three days before her visa was meant to expire. From day one when Ana arrived, it's been hell in our house.
On the first day once she arrived, Ana was so excited to meet the baby and couldn't wait to hold her even though she was visibly tired from the trip. She went and took a shower and asked us to bring the baby. Day brought her from the bassinet to give Ana but was visibly upset. When Ana asked us to bring a blanket and a cap to keep the baby warm since she was barely one week old and was lightly dressed, Day responded to the request faster than I did; however, I could tell she was faking a smile and was very angry.
A few hours later, Day came to the kitchen area to do something, and Ana asked her to go and rest and told me to fulfill any tasks she needed. Ana also told Day that she could send her on any errands she wanted. Day went inside, and a few hours later, she called me to complain about Ana.Her complaint was that Ana was commanding her in her own house, asking her to bring the cap and blanket and also asking her to go get some rest.
Even though I know Ana means well, I empathize with Day and sided with her. I then went to Ana right after the complaints to discuss the situation with her and asked her to not interfere if Day does anything around the house. I also told her to politely ask Day for anything by saying, "Can you please".
Ana obliged without any complaints and even apologized, stating she didn't mean to offend her.It is worth noting that Ana also brought with her some native East African clothes as gifts for Day and the baby, which Day did not appreciate. I later lied to Ana, stating Day loved the clothes and was thankful for them.After that incident, there was some calm even though I noticed Day was always with our daughter in the bedroom and rarely came out.
When I realized for days she was always with the baby, I proposed we go out on dates to give her a break, while Ana watched over the baby. Day somewhat resisted and wanted the baby to come with us but later gave in and left the baby with grandma.
During this period, Ana would ask Day daily what she wanted to eat so she could cook it. I was helping with feeding the baby and changing diapers, alongside helping organize things in the house since we just moved to a new place. For about five days, there was some level of peace until my MIL visited.
As a matter of fact, a day before my MIL arrived, Day and I dropped the baby with Ana so we could go on a date. While we were heading to our destination, I overheard my MIL asking Day on the phone what we were doing, and she told her we were heading to the mall. MIL was upset when she told her we left the baby with Ana. Day kept saying, "Don't worry about it," multiple times. I didn't ask Day what was said, as that was a conversation with her mom, but I was concerned about what would happen once she started living with us.
It is worth noting that my MIL and my mom had never spoken to each other or met before or after we got married, so there is no bad blood between them.
The next day, when I returned from work in the evening, I found Day, Ana, and my MIL in the living room watching a show, which initially made me happy, thinking everyone was getting along. My wife even mentioned that she asked Ana to teach her Swahili, and my MIL expressed her plans to teach Ana crochet and said she would be buying the accessories needed. Ana was delighted to be around them despite her limited English.
However, I soon learned that Day and her mother were upset with Ana.While eating dinner that night, Day told me, "Ana needs to back off." I was taken aback and asked her what was wrong. She explained that while they were sitting in the living room, the baby began to cry in the bassinet, and Ana stood up and carried the baby, then asked her to make baby food.
Day was upset because she felt Ana had disrespected her and her mother by picking up the baby without permission and commanding her to prepare food. Another instance that bothered Day was when Ana stood over her while she was changing the baby's diaper, applying Vaseline.
I empathized with her and told her I would speak to Ana about it. After finishing my food, I talked to Ana about the allegations. Ana was shocked but apologized, explaining it was just a cultural norm in Africa for the community to help raise a child. I asked her to get permission from Day before carrying the baby, even though it felt strange to do so, and to refrain from interfering when Day was changing the baby. My mom said she wouldn't beg to carry her grandchild and decided she would avoid sitting with Day and my MIL to prevent any further offense.
The next day, Day came to me, visibly upset, stating her mother had cried because of the disrespect from Ana. I was alarmed, thinking this was a new incident, but it turned out to be the same issue from the previous day. Day began using profanity and stated that as long as Ana lived in the house, she would not find peace nor be allowed to carry the baby.
She even threatened to call the police if Ana made her mother cry again. I tried to calm the situation by stating that her mother was being manipulative and that she was being influenced by her, which upset Day even more.
For the next three days, Ana did not touch the baby but remained polite to my MIL and Day. Yesterday morning, I was holding the baby and needed to do a few chores around the house since Day was resting after watching the baby during the first shift. I took the baby to Ana upstairs to allow her some time with her granddaughter while I worked.
When Day realized I wasn't holding the baby, she was very upset, but she didn't say anything. Once I finished what I was doing, which took less than an hour, I went upstairs and took the baby from Ana, asked my MIL if she would like to hold her. She declined, so I took the baby to Day.
Today, I was trying to wash feeding bottles and asked my mom to help me hold the baby. She obliged, and once the baby started fussing, she asked me to bring her food. I did, and she began to feed her. When Day saw Ana feeding the baby, she was upset again and asked me if we hadn't gone to church yet. I told her no, as I was trying to finish washing the bottles. She proceeded to take the baby out of Ana's hands. Ana asked her if she could just finish feeding the baby, but Day didn't respond and just dragged the baby out of her hands.
I felt ashamed watching this play out in front of my eyes. I didn't say a word. I drove Ana to church and felt stunned and ashamed that I somehow played a role in all that had happened. Interestingly, Ana didn't even talk about the incident; instead, she talked about something completely unrelated to take our minds off the situation.I feel like my MIL is somewhat responsible for Day's behavior.
She will be leaving next week, but I'm already sick of having her close to me and my family. It is worth noting that my MIL has four siblings, and the three sisters among them have cut her off as well as Day due to her dramatic nature. My brother-in-law has been married twice and on both occasions did not inform my MIL and wife about it until three months after the fact.
Also, our wedding was quite unconventional as it was during COVID-19, and my family couldn't attend to meet my in-laws, and Day and my mother-in-law fought during that period which led to no contact between them for a year.
I have excused Day's behavior as postpartum stress, but this is wearing me out. I have lost about 10 pounds in the last three weeks.This cultural difference was something I was warned about by friends, but I didn't listen and thought love conquers all. Foolish me.As much as I love Day, I really can't stand her disrespect my mom and also preventing her from holding my child.
I fear this may lead to the worst happening to our relationship if this issue persists.I am already thinking of going for counseling with her, even though I know she might decline.
People of Reddit, how do you suggest I approach this issue?
TLDR: My wife (Day) doesn't want my mom (Ana) to hold our child for no apparent reason.

Link to original post for context.
Thank you so much to all of the amazing people who commented and reached out. I wasn't able to respond to anywhere near all of them but I am so grateful to everyone for opening my eyes to how toxic and unhealthy this situation is.
As I stated in this update, I called my dad and basically just explained that we were having some issues, and just to ease my mind I wanted him to come down and be nearby when I talked to my husband. He did not press for more info and told me that he was on his way. He and my mom live ~6 hours away, so it's not exactly a very ideal ask but he didn't even hesitate, which I am grateful for. He arrived Friday night and parked outside our condo and we agreed that id call him and immediately hang up if I needed him to come inside, in case my husband got aggressive or angry. I did not expect him to, since he never has before, but some of the comments made me feel like I'd better be safe rather than sorry.
I debated all day Friday about how exactly to approach this situation and how I could trigger this conversation without him shutting down or getting angry. I decided to casually approach the conversation and ask him how he'd feel about me getting another vibrator (to replace the one that mysteriously broke after he 'caught' 'me using it in the shower). In response he asked "what for?" To which I replied "because it feels good". I knew this would be his response, but it was something along the lines of "what am I not good enough"? As it usually was in the past. I explained to him that it has nothing to do with him not being good enough, and that sex is supposed to be fun and experimental and interesting and that it was just something that would make it better for both of us. He then suggested that I just wanted it to use on myself, to which I asked if that would be a problem. He told me that I know how he feels about that and so I asked him why he was bothered by the idea of me masturbating. He got very defensive and asked why I would want that when I could have him, so I asked if he ever felt like he'd rather just pleasure himself rather than going through the motions of having sex. He said no and that he's "not a beta who spends his days stroking when he could be doing anything more productive". I explained to him that that was okay if it was his preference but that sometimes my sexual desires are to pleasure myself versus having sex. That's when his same ridiculous argument came out of that being "basically cheating". Pulling from another Redditor, I explained that cheating involves multiple people, and that it is impossible to be cheating if I am alone. He told me to "fuck off and go stick the shower head between my legs". I started to get upset and realized that here is when I always back down. I feel the need to apologize and make him feel better, id usually have started something and would end up guilt fucking him because I felt bad, but I didn't. I told him that he made me feel like he was trying to control me and my body and that I wasn't okay with that. He told me I could "go be a fucking whore somewhere else then" and got up off the couch and ran upstairs. I could hear him slamming my drawers open and acting like he was putting my clothes in a bag. I resisted the urge to run up there after him and just decided to sit there and see what would happen. Eventually he came back downstairs and apologized and said that he's very uncomfortable with the idea of me masturbating in our home, when I asked him to explain why, he said because it makes him feel unwanted. I told him that this isn't true, and that I do want him, but sometimes I just want that and he said "okay I guess".
I decided to leave it at that for the night, and didn't want to press any further. I told my dad it was okay to go and that I was so sorry for wasting his time and he told me he'd be staying the weekend at a hotel just to be safe.
Eventually we went up to bed and I realized if I left it at that it would just get swept under the rug like it always does. I'd go on putting up with this until it came full-circle again and I was not going to do that to myself.
I decided to ask him about him telling me that he listened to me when I showered. I told him I wanted to talk about it and he told me that he was just joking and that "I'm a fucking moron if I actually thought he was serious". I told him that it was an odd joke, especially considering he was angry and very much not laughing when he told me. He insisted that he was joking and I told him that i didn't believe him. He then responded by saying he wouldn't do it again. This went in circles for a bit before he finally admitted to deciding to do this after catching me in the shower. Instead of accusing him of anything, I asked him if he thought that was an invasion of my privacy, to which he informed me that we are married and I do not have privacy. I told him that was an issue and that in order to have a healthy marriage we both needed privacy. He was determined that there is so such thing as privacy in marriage, so I flat out asked him if he wanted me in the bathroom while he was pooping. He said no, I said "right , because you want your privacy". He told me that's different.
Over the course of the next 10 minutes or so, this escalated from a simple conversation into a full blown screaming match, and we got absolutely nowhere in our argument. It was like talking to a brick wall. I was so heated by this point that I don't even remember what was said, but he eventually told me I was: a fucking worthless whore, that i had nothing without him, that my vag was disgusting and made him sick, that I was fat and no one will ever want me (I'm 125 lbs btw), that im lucky someone like him would even look in my direction, etc, etc, etc.
I could barely see my phone through the tears and I called my dad and asked him to come get me.
My husband looked at me and said "you're fucking dad isn't driving 6 hours to come get you you dumb fuck". I started to grab some random things of mine and yelled that he was here staying in town, and he broke down and started sobbing.
He told me that he knows he's controlling, that he has serious issues, and that he's terrified of losing me. He said that he knows he's not good enough for me and that he's so afraid of losing me that he's pushing me away to save himself the inevitable heartache. He said that if he ever lost me he'd k*** himself.
As I watched this grown ass man snotting and crying in a heap on the floor, I kinda realized that I feel nothing for him. Like, nothing. The blinders I've been wearing were removed and I no longer saw the handsome, intelligent, caring, strong man I once did. I saw a pathetic, abusive, controlling, sad, and sick person. I came to the realization in that moment that there's no fixing this, and even if he does change, I would never trust him or see him in the same way again.
My dad knocked on the door and my husband ran and hid in the bathroom. I took my bags and went outside to meet him. He asked me if I wanted to talk about what was going on and I said no. He asked what I needed from him and I asked if we could just go back to his hotel room. He asked if my husband hit me and I said no. Before we had even gotten to the hotel my husband began texting me. It started with pleading with me to stay and forgive him and turned into insults over the course of the next day or so. He never threatened me physically, but told me if I didn't come home I'd lose him forever, that I'd be losing out on the best man I'd ever have, etc, etc. he told me that his friends laughed at him for being with such an ugly bitch, that his parents hate me because they know I'm not good enough for him, that I couldn't get pregnant because I'm probably a fucking whore banging other guys on the side, that he was embarrassed to be seen with me in public, and so much more.
I'm leaving. And not because Reddit told me to, because I'm genuinely not even remotely interested in staying with him and because I deserve better.
I spoke to a friend from school, and will be staying with her until I'm done school next month. After that, I'm going home to figure some things out and get a fresh start.
I'm currently in bed in a hotel room with my dad and have never felt more loved or safe. He is going to go over to the house tomorrow and retrieve my belongings, after which he is helping me move into my friend's apartment and then heading home.
I don't have much to say at this point other than thank you again to everyone who made me realize how dangerous this situation could have been. I was determined that we were not going to divorce but after Friday night I don't think there's any going back to that. I'm over it. I might update again, I might not. But making that post genuinely might have saved my life. Thank you.

Hi there, sorry about the formatting, this is my first time posting to Reddit so please be understanding. I'm unsure where I should even post this and I'm unsure if anyone will see this. I am a 25f new mum to a beautiful baby girl but I was definitely not ready to become a parent yet as I am still working through a lot of childhood traumas, sometimes I feel like I didn't have much of a choice but I wouldn't change it for the world as she is a blessing. I was so sick during the pregnancy that by the time I found out I was pregnant I left the decision to my partner as I felt I was in no state to make any decisions, we decided together to keep the pregnancy as we have had some fertility issues in the past and did not want to risk missing an opportunity like this again. I feel so blessed and my partner had also proposed to me a week before I gave birth which really helped me persevere. My partner is always by my side but is also struggling with his own issues which is why I don't want to make him deal with my issues.
My issue is now 4 months postpartum I am struggling to cope, not with the parenting and routines but with everything that has happened to me and how it affects my decisions when it comes to my daughter. I left home when I was 16 and spent years pulling myself out of depression and suicidal thoughts as well as building some coping skills that have really helped me in the past. Lately, I feel like I have hit a brick wall and nothing I have done in the past is helping me. I am constantly being told that I should be relying on the people around me more for help but when they do help in their own way, it usually makes things harder for me as they don't actually listen to what I am asking for and honestly I struggle to trust anyone when I can't even trust myself. Sometimes I am just so overwhelmed and the only I can do to keep my daughter safe is to walk away from her, I did not have that as a child and I will be damned if I let my issues affect my child like that. I feel such self-hatred, I have been struggling with a weed addiction as well even though I have managed to give up every other drug, alcohol and vice but no matter how hard I try I cannot do what is best for my daughter and I feel like a mess.
Every decision I have made in regards to my daughter has been argued with by so many people, I always knew other people would have a different opinion to me but I did not realise how many people would be in my face and offended by my choices. For example, I wanted to wait until 6 months to start feeding solids to my daughter but so many people on both my partner's and my side of the family kept pressuring us until we gave in and started feeding her at 4 months (gastro issues run in both sides of the family and I wanted to do as recommended by WHO to try to help my daughter avoid those issues). Another issue is that I am adamant about not sending my daughter to stay at people's houses (even family) or go to daycare until she is able to speak (I have been sexually assaulted as a child on multiple occasions in different situations, ei, at daycare, by other children in Sunday school, by other children who were left to take care of me and my family just to name a few) and my MIL has taken this personally no matter how I try to explain it to her. She can be very insensitive and often says hurtful things without even realising them. I haven't even mentioned my partner's childhood traumas as I am struggling to deal with my issues.
I have been to the GP to discuss my feelings and see what type of help I can get but he has only recommended anti-depressants and some counselling I'm unsure if that is going to help me at the moment as I have always struggled to help myself, especially through the mental health programs here. I also don't like the idea of being medicated as my mother has abused prescription medication, taken multiple things that weren't meant for her and has permanently affected her to the point she now gets seizures and other behavioural issues associated with abusing particular drugs.
I also have a very rocky relationship with my parents as my father was not there very often as a child leaving me and my siblings with our mother who neglected, physically, mentally, and verbally abused us. We were never given a safe environment as children, constantly surrounded by dangerous people, in dangerous situations. We never got appropriate medical attention unless docs or some other outside influence were involved. Eventually, all of us children were taken from our mother's care, most of us ending up with my father or their other family members as some have different fathers. Like I said I left home at 16 as I was becoming increasingly violent and mentally unstable and if I am being honest, being around my siblings after everything that happened was so hard, I had failed them so much and let them down and I just could not continue to hurt them like that. After I left I was a mess and my mother had actually convinced me to move in together, if it weren't for my now partner I would have been left in a situation that I could not handle, especially when my own mother scammed me, took my money, left us in rental arrears, left us in a house we couldn't afford on our own with her debt and continued to do the same thing with my siblings once they hit the age of 16 no matter how much I try to warn them what she is like. She is very good at acting like your best friend as a kid but constantly forgets she is supposed to be our parent.
There is just so much going on in my life and I am struggling to cope and need advice on how to get past these issues and be the best parent to my daughter.

TL;DR it's basically another 5 years of long distance and even then we don't know if we will be able to close the distance or not. And if we do, it will be against both of our wishes, just for the sake of our relationship. There is no certain end to the distance.
I know it's a bit long but please advise.
So me (21M) and my gf (20F) have dated for almost 3 years now. We were high school sweethearts and only the past 7 months of our relationship have been long distance. I moved to Germany to do my bachelors and we didn't break up cause we both really love each other. We have been together so long and it is a very stable, mature relationship unlike any of my peers. I would marry her if I could.
Since I'm an international student and she is 6000kms away, I can only afford to go home once a year. We are from a conservative muslim majority country where it's very hard to have any privacy or autonomy as a young couple. We haven't even kissed in 3 years together 🤯. So getting married at such a young age is not possible esp when I'm a student myself.
The real problem is that she is in medical school right now and will complete her studies in 4 years. After which, she plans to take USMLE (US Medical Licensing Examination) and move there. I believe she will be successful because she is a nerd honestly XD. A lot of time involved in getting matched in the US and getting a visa. So basically it will take her maybe 5 years to get to the USA. She has been hoping that I move there with her, I will be done with my bachelors by then and we can get married there. She also says that as a medical professional, the best place to work is in the USA as the apprenticeship is shorter there and they pay their doctors the most. So she isn't open to considering any other countries. Training in the UK is 7 years and it's half that in USA. So that explains why she wants to go to the USA.
Problem #1: I intend to settle in Germany as I have a passion for cars and that's the industry I want to work in. Germany is a pretty good country for that and the standard of living here is seriously good. You need to earn maybe twice or more to have the same standard in USA. I really don't admire life in the US. I would rather enjoy my free healthcare, paid days off, mental health being a valid excuse to stay at home and the crazy long maternal/paternal leave.
Problem #2: Since I am an immigrant here, I really want to stay here for the 5 years and get a German passport because I stand no chance of migrating to the USA on a third world country passport. Also uprooting your life like this and moving so far away from everything you love is incredibly painful. I cannot imagine doing that all over again to move to USA after spending 5 years in Germany and being fully integrated. I will also be more than a day's flight away in the USA from my parents and that makes me feel worse as the only son.
So now that I have explained our situation, it is another 5 years until we have any chance of closing the distance and that too will be in a country atleast one of us doesn't like or have much prospect in. I'm afraid we will spend another 5 years on our relationship only to be disappointed in the end when things don't work out cause there is no end seemingly. What should we do? Should we part ways? Should we stick together and hope that magic somehow brings us together in favorable terms.

Hi everyone! This is my first post here. I am honestly so desperate at this point and would love any insight.
In december 2023, I had unprotected sex. I then took a plan b. Approx a week later, I wake up with burning, itching, and brown discharge. I try to ignore it thinking it’ll go away but the bleeding progresses into a mini period.
A week later, I go to the ER because I am starting to feel sick while these issues persists. They test for BV/STIS/ Yeast/UTIs, and everything is negative. They were concerned by my heart rate but end up giving me IV meds to remedy that. The vaginal symptoms stop, although, my period ended up being over a month late. Right after the vaginal symptoms, I experience awful joint pain, migraines, palpitations, and dizziness.
These symptoms now persist every two months exactly. A week after my period (which have gotten lighter), i feel burning, burning stops and then the autoimmune symptoms. I tested for ureaplasma and mycoplasma twice and both tests came out negative (i plan on testing again).
I am waiting for my Evvy results, but I dont know what to do. I have seen so many doctors, gotten tested for every std/bv/etc and no one has answers. I have a urologist, gyno, and rheumatologist appointments coming up,but I am losing hope. I am only 23,and this is making me not want to be here anymore.
TLDR; vaginal and autoimmune symptoms. No answers.

After the last 4 months of drinking almost every day I feel a renewed interest in trying to quit again. If I'm being honest, I really don't see myself succeeding this time, just like I haven't the last 30 or so times I've tried over the past decade. The first few days are always a piece of cake for me, then when I'm starting to feel normalish I convince myself to get back to drinking. It starts off slow, but over the weeks it picks up until I go too far, stay up too late and let things like work ethic, housework, parenting responsibilities and personal care slide.
I think the main reason I get back on the booze after a few days away from it would be that I am genuinely 100% dissatisfied with my life. Things are bad, and they just keep getting worse. Work is unfulfilling, but I can't leave. I make decent pay ($35/hr) but I can't pay my bills due to crushing debt and a constantly rising cost of living. My wife and I separated 2 years ago (a good thing) but due to financial issues I had to move back into the house with her and the kids to avoid losing the house, which because I am behind on property taxes might still happen anyway. This makes for a somewhat uncomfortable living situation at times.
I am severely depressed and have zero self esteem but I can't find help. The province I live in is in the process of completely destroying and selling off our health care system so finding a family doctor is all but impossible. I've tried counselling but couldn't find a good fit before my benefits ran out as they only cover about 4 sessions per year. I'm severely introverted and have one friend who also happens to be my boss. We talk about this stuff, but I don't want to put too much on her as I feel like a burden as it is. Honestly, just typing that out has me wanting to take my empty cans in and rush off to buy a cheap case of beer to put an end to these feelings (even if just temporarily). I won't right now, and I'll try really hard not to later on.
In the past I've also convinced myself that because I wasn't seeing results as soon as I was hoping I would consider it not worth it and give up. If I were to list the things I would like to see from quitting they would be: - Increased energy levels. I always feel run down. - Better sleep. I can sleep for up to 10 hours and still have difficulty waking up in the morning. - More positive attitude. I'm so negative all the time. - A return of interest. I have lost my past interests and don't feel passion for anything anymore. I no longer feel a point to life and wouldn't say I have any goals anymore. - More money. Or more accurately put, I would like to feel like I'm catching up on what I'm behind on. Getting ahead is out of the question for the foreseeable future. - Get the drive to exercise. Even the thought of stretching semi regularly seems like an absolute impossibility right now. - Be more present with my kids. I'm present with them now, and very present with them when I'm in my drunken "sweet spot" but not so much in the mornings where I'm hung over. - Most importantly, I want to feel in control of my life again. In every aspect of my life I feel trapped and like I have no say in my own life. Obviously getting drunk, staying up late and playing video games let's me feel like I have some sort of control. The irony of it being that the beer is actually in control.
Anyway, thanks for reading through this kind internet stranger. I need help and am desperate to find the solution to the biggest problems in my life. Alternatively, if you're the type of person who reads through subs like this for the same type of entertainment you might get from watching Jerry Springer or Cops, then I hope my life is more enjoyable to you than it is for me. It gives it some sort of value.
Day 1...

I found a tick on me earlier, can't have been in there more than 3 hours. I know it's really not the right thing to do but I was about to go into a meeting for an hour or so, so just pulled it out with my fingers as I panicked and didn't want to leave it there. It took a couple of tries so I think it had bitten in.
It was pretty tiny and has left a small red spot, but no rash or anything yet.
Should I ring the doctors in the morning or is that overreacting and its just a case of wait and see if a rash/symptoms develop and then ring?

I'm not talking about neurodivergency or chronic illnesses but stuff that everyone can become sick with like depression or symptoms like intrusive thoughts. The thing is, I WAS prescribed a psychiatrist, I WAS prescribed with a neurologist but I can't get fully diagnosed because my parents refuse to continue visiting the doctor. I could get there myself but I can't leave the house because they won't let me. Screw them

I'm fairly certain this post doesn't go against the rules but if it does I will take it down.
So tomorrow I'm going to give my GP a letter asking for an ADHD referral and my mum knows this. However I also want to hand in a letter asking for a referral for social anxiety as I have been pretty certain I have it for many years and I really want to see if there's any way my life could be made easier with a diagnosis. The problem is I don't really want my mum to know. There is no reason I shouldn't tell my mum she's very understanding and wouldn't have a problem with it it's just my anxiety that makes me not want any attention and if I tell her "hey I have social anxiety" I'm gonna get a lot of attention and a lot of conversations about how I'm feeling which I am not prepared to deal with, even if I tell her to leave me alone I will know she's thinking about it. There's no reason I can't hand in this letter I am 18 it's literally just my anxiety holding me back. I'm not even entirely sure what I want out of getting this diagnosis as it would force me to talk to doctors about my feelings too and I might not even get anything to help me out of it. Even if I do hand in the letter it might be months or years before I get any kind of reply. Basically in my mind I have 3 options.

1. Hand in the letter without telling my mum and end up telling her later on when the doctor calls me back. (This will likely result in her thinking I hide important things from her.)
2. Tell her about my decision and hand in the letter. (Resulting in a lot of attention and conversations which will make my anxiety worse.)
3. Just don't give the doctor the letter and continue living my life filled with anxiety knowing there might be something that could help me.

So I know the objectively best decision is to tell her and hand in the letter but I'm hoping some people who read this will know what anxiety feels like and understand why it's so hard for me. So, for those people, what would you do in my place? What decision would you make?

I've lived in Finland for the past 6 years and since I've moved here, I've had lots of issues with healthcare and KELA and I'm wondering if anyone else has experienced this.
I'm struggling with a lot of physical symptoms and illness. I've been near-bedridden for the past 1 year, on a sick leave from college and the doctors are being completely useless.
Instead of trying to find me a diagnosis for my illness and help me, they are instead trying to find reasons why I'm not sick. Every specialist visit feels like I'm put on trial and they don't even do any tests on me.
I have to wait 5 months for an appointment to a specialised doctor just for them to take my weight and tell me it's in my head without even doing a test.
I've gotten many letters in the mail downright denying healthcare for me because my physical pains and weakness, fainting spells etc are "clear signs of depression and I should visit a psychiatrist instead"
Having not even the muscle strength to get an education and having to do REPEATS of depression tests to prove I'm not just mental is honestly tiring.
I once called 112 to help me because I was on the ground and couldn't walk from the pain and they told me to go to the kitchen and get a painkiller. Dispatcher then hung up and told me she'd call an hour later. An hour later my own mother found me unconscious on the floor with my phone ringing next to me.
I hate the Finnish healthcare system