Black grandmother poem

Welp turns out I’m part black 🤷‍♀️ my moms been sick and hasn’t been able to get a diagnosis for awhile because what the doctors thought she had she couldn’t have because it’s a “black disease” and we AREN’T black…until my mom got some genetic testing done. Turns out she does have the “black disease” because she’s part black. She confronted my grandmother about it and she confessed that she’s 1/2 black and has been hiding it her entire life. My great grandparents cheated on each other a lot my great grandpa with women over seas while in the military and my grandma with every black “handyman” she hired while he was away. My grandma was light skinned and could pass for white as long as she kept her hair cut short in a pixie cut so that’s what great grandma did and my grandma has kept that hairstyle her entire life. I don’t know if great grandpa ever knew or when grandma found out but she still continue the charade even though great grandparents have been dead since the 80s. It’s very weird because it’s not like we were fully white before my grandmas grandmother was Native American and my grandma was always very proud of that. Decorated her house in tribal decor, passed down the skill of tribal medicine and healing, taught all of us about our tribe and its history etc so why hide this? She isn’t racist either her 2 best friends to the point of me referring to them as aunties are both black women I’ve been to their houses celebrated holidays with their families grew up with their grandchildren my cousin even married one of them and now has 2 mixed kids herself. Like it’s just so weird that she’d hide this and is still wanting to pretend that she isn’t black and asked us to never talk about it again or bring it up to anyone she knows. This is weird right? I don’t even know how to feel about it. Like how did I not see it?? My grandma has always had dark tan skin but I just thought it was our native heritage and my mother has lightly tan skin with freckles and curly short ginger hair and full lips and thick hips butt and thighs but also very muscular kind of like Simone biles? I never saw it before but now I look at her and she looks like a black person with white skin and red hair. I myself am looking in the mirror and starting to question things,old remarks from high school about having “black booty” or “black girl lips”, my hairdresser calling my hair texture unusual (its wavy in some places straight in others when dry but curls when wet or humid) having a black boss at a fast food chain hire me because she could tell I was “mixed with something” why I also have a disease that is mostly common with POC. I know I’m probably being ridiculous but I feel like I just found the missing small puzzle piece and that something was always a little “off” and now that I have the answer it’ll get better.

Reddit Account: nephraretDiscord Tag: nephraret
Name and House:Medea Sand, House Dayne of High Hermitage
Age: 23
Cultural Group: Dornish
Appearance: A woman of average height. Medea has tanned skin and long curly black hair that reaches her waist. One of her eyes, a shade of brown so dark it looks like the night sky, and the other a soft lilac. A jagged and large scar runs from the base of her neck, across her chest, and down to her left hip.
Trait: Ruthless
Skill(s): Ravenmaster, Scribe, Negotiator, Schemer, Rumormonger
Talent(s): Oil painting, Writing, Bird Watching, Life Drawing, Calligraphy
Negative Trait(s): n/a
Starting Title(s): Medea
Starting Location: High Hermitage
Alternate Characters: Donella Dayne
AC
Name and House: Donella Dayne of High Hermitage
Age: 57
Cultural Group: Dornish
Appearance: A short, thin old woman with thin wispy black hair. Dark eyes and olive skin. Trait: Charismatic
Skill(s): Scholar, Avaricious, Medic
Talent(s): Embroidery, keeping her family together
Negative Trait(s): Elderly, Blind
Starting Title(s): Lady of High Hermitage
Starting Location: High Hermitage
Alternate Characters: n/a
Timeline2AC: Medea is born to the Lord of High Hermitage and a Braavosi maid of the castle named Vara. Mother and daughter are given chambers in one of the lower levels of High Hermitage, at the request of Lady Donella, pregnant at the time.
4AC: An infant Medea and her mother Vara leave High Hermitage to cross the narrow sea in Pentos, where Vara’s remaining family of her brother, mother, and grandmother lived. Having remarried into a middle class merchant household, Medea’s grandmother arranged a marriage between Vara and one of the sons of her new husband.
7AC: Vara births another daughter who is named Solara. Medea, now a young child, begins being taught by a lady’s maid in the ways of etiquette. Despite being a bastard, Vara and Medea’s grandmother still intend to try to find a match for Medea that could bring wealth to their family, or at least, an heir for another. Medea quickly learns to read, rapidly becoming a voracious reader.
11AC: A young girl of nine, Medea’s studies have been going smoothly, much to the delight of Vara and Medea’s grandmother.
During a warm night, a fire breaks out in the family’s home leaving Medea’s grandmother, stepfather, Vara dead. The husband of Medea’s grandmother, Medea, and Solara are left heavily injured from the fire but alive for now. After a letter arrives for the lord of High Hermitage, Donella Dayne is the one who insists upon bringing young Medea to High Hermitage to be raised among her own children.
Medea is left heavily scarred from the fire, and a fear of the flames.
16AC: Donella Dayne, a woman of grace, never showed Medea and hostility for her bastard status. She allows Medea to continue schooling, and studies with the family's septa as the rest of the daughters.
Meanwhile, Medea ends up spending a lot of time in the rookery of the castle, feeling a fascination with the corvids the maester so dutifully tended to. The maester minds little at the young woman’s interest and even allows her to choose a chick from a clutch of eggs to raise as her own. She names the raven chick Whimsy. 23AC Astor Dayne dies of a heart attack. Alaric Dayne succeeds him as Lord of High Hermitage.
25AC: Medea lives with her half sisters, Cymella, and Alayne, her half brothers Alaric, Castor, and Darrion, her stepmother Donella in High Hermitage.
https://www.familyecho.com/?p=X72DJ&c=cfn35ma1459lbq3k&f=384952474836654711

(The post is slightly altered because the original text was more personal and directed at my friend)
All of this is stuff you’ve already heard before so this is just my personal looks at the album, its meaning, and why it’s probably the best rap album we’ll ever see.
If you have listened to TPAB all the way through then you remember that in the final track, Mortal Man, it’s Kendrick and someone else talking. I put this together and it’s just the conversation they have so you can easily read it and see who is talking when.
This is how I interpret albums meaning: TPAB is about the issues that African Americans will face due to the neglect of the U.S. government. The idea of the butterfly is a person who has become famous, or has power. That’s why in tracks like Wesley’s Theory, the opening track, the person talking says, “When the four corners of this cocoon collide You'll slip through the cracks hopin' that you'll survive Gather your weight, take a deep look inside Are you really who they idolize? To pimp a butterfly.” A butterfly is a transformed caterpillar, so in TPAB the idea of a caterpillar is someone who the government, or really anyone for that matter, doesn’t care about. Once they become famous (transform) and have power, they are treated better or like a butterfly.
Also, fun fact about TPAB that you prob already know. The original title was going to be “To Pimp a Caterpillar.” This was because it would then abbreviate to “2PAC” instead of TPAB.
Now for the conversation:
Kendrick: “I remember you was conflicted, misusing your influence. Sometimes I did the same, abusing my power full of resentment. Found myself screaming in a hotel room. I didn’t wanna self destruct. The evils of Lucy was all around me, so I went running for answers. Until I came home, but that didn’t stop survivors guilt. Going back and forth, trying to convince myself the stripes I earned, or maybe how A-1 my foundation was. But while my loved ones were fighting a continuous war back in the dirty, I was entering a new one. A war that was based on apartheid and discrimination. Made me wanna go back to the city and tell the homies what I learned, the word was respect. Just because you wore a different gang color than mine's doesn't mean I can't respect you as a black man. Forgetting all the pain and hurt we caused each other in these streets. If I respect you, we unify and stop the enemy from killing us, but I don't know, I'm no mortal man, maybe I'm just another n*. Shit and that's all I wrote. I was gonna call it Another N** but, it ain't really a poem, I just felt like it's something you probably could relate to. Other than that, now that I finally got a chance to holla at you. I always wanted to ask you about a certain situa--, about a metaphor actually, you spoke on the ground. What you mean 'bout that, what the ground represent?”
Friend: “The ground is gonna open up and swallow the evil…”
Kendrick - “Right…”
Friend: “That's how I see it, my word is bond. I see--and the ground is the symbol for the poor people, the poor people is gonna open up this whole world and swallow up the rich people. Cause the rich people gonna be so fat, they gonna be so appetising, you know what I'm saying, wealthy, appetizing. he poor gonna be so poor and hungry, you know what I'm saying it's gonna be like... there might be some cannibalism out this mutha, they might eat the rich.”
Kendrick: “Aight so let me ask you this then, do you see yourself as somebody that's rich or somebody that made the best of their own opportunities?”
Friend: “I see myself as a natural born hustler, a true hustler in every sense of the word. I took nothin', I took the opportunities, I worked at the most menial and degrading job and built myself up so I could get it to where I owned it. I went from having somebody manage me to me hiring the person that works my management company. I changed everything I realized my destiny in a matter of five years you know what I'm saying I made myself a millionaire. I made millions for a lot of people now it's time to make millions for myself, you know what I'm saying. I made millions for the record companies, I made millions for these movie companies, now I make millions for us.”
Kendrick: “And through your different avenues of success, how would you say you managed to keep a level of sanity?”
Friend: “and by my faith in "all good things come to those that stay true. You know what I'm saying, and it was happening to me for a reason, you know what I'm saying, I was noticing, shit, I was punching the right buttons and it was happening. So it's no problem, you know I mean it's a problem but I'm not finna let them know. I'm finna go straight through.”
Kendrick: “Would you consider yourself a fighter at heart or somebody that only reacts when they back is against the wall?”
Friend: “Shit, I like to think that at every opportunity I've ever been threatened with resistance, it's been met with resistance. And not only me but it goes down my family tree. You know what I'm saying, it's in my veins to fight back.”
Kendrick: “Aight well, how long you think it take before n***** be like, we fighting a war, I'm fighting a war I can't win and I wanna lay it all down.”
Friend: “In this country a black man only have like 5 years we can exhibit maximum strength, and that's right now while you a teenager, while you still strong or while you still wanna lift weights, while you still wanna shoot back. Cause once you turn 30 it's like they take the heart and soul out of a man, out of a black man in this country. And you don't wanna fight no more. And if you don't believe me you can look around, you don't see no loud mouth 30-year old muthafuckas.”
Kendrick: “That's crazy, because me being one of your offspring of the legacy you left behind I can truly tell you that there's nothing but turmoil goin' on so I wanted to ask you what you think is the future for me and my generation today?”
Friend: “I think that n***** is tired of grabbin' shit out the stores and next time it's a riot there's gonna be, like, uh, bloodshed for real. I don't think America know that. I think American think we was just playing and it's gonna be some more playing but it ain't gonna be no playing. It's gonna be murder, you know what I'm saying, it's gonna be like Nat Turner, 1831, up in this muthafucka. You know what I'm saying, it's gonna happen.”
Kendrick: “That's crazy man. In my opinion, only hope that we kinda have left is music and vibrations, lotta people don't understand how important it is. Sometimes I be like, get behind a mic and I don't know what type of energy I'mma push out, or where it comes from. Trip me out sometimes.”
Friend: “Because the spirits, we ain't even really rappin', we just letting our dead homies tell stories for us.”
Kendrick: I wanted to read one last thing to you. It's actually something a good friend had wrote describing my world. It says: "The caterpillar is a prisoner to the streets that conceived it. Its only job is to eat or consume everything around it, in order to protect itself from this mad city. While consuming its environment the caterpillar begins to notice ways to survive. One thing it noticed is how much the world shuns him, but praises the butterfly. The butterfly represents the talent, the thoughtfulness, and the beauty within the caterpillar. But having a harsh outlook on life the caterpillar sees the butterfly as weak and figures out a way to pimp it to his own benefits. Already surrounded by this mad city the caterpillar goes to work on the cocoon which institutionalizes him. He can no longer see past his own thoughts. He's trapped. When trapped inside these walls certain ideas take roots, such as going home, and bringing back new concepts to this mad city The result? Wings begin to emerge, breaking the cycle of feeling stagnant. Finally free, the butterfly sheds light on situations that the caterpillar never considered, ending the internal struggle. Although the butterfly and caterpillar are completely different, they are one and the same. What's your perspective on that? Pac? Pac? Pac?!”

My grandfather has high blood pressure and they are not approving him for surgery. He had go get 4 bags of blood transfusion, stools were black with little blood. He was sent to ER due to collapsing blood level was at 3 but was able to move it to 7.5. He has a heart with 3 clogged veins. He wasn’t approved for that surgery yet either. He’s in the ICU right now and just put clips on his ulcers. Will he be ok?? He’s 79yrs old. Sorry if I’m all over the place. My mother , uncle and grandmother are telling me what’s going on so just waiting to hear from a Dr Monday.

Previous chapter
A soft chuckle filled the cave, carrying with it so much weight that not a single echo chased after it. It was as if, instead of making a sound, her laugh transmitted directly into his head and filled his body.
“It is alright child,” She petted his head. “Unlike the immortals from the stories you may have heard, I do not care for customs and formalities such as these. Raise your head.”
The way that she spoke reminded Mareus of Elder Guo in the almost ancient way that he would form his sentences while speaking in commands. Though it didn’t feel as if she was being overbearing.
Mareus struggled to his knees while looking everywhere except for her face. His eyes darted around her outline, looking into the darkness behind her, at the way her hair moved in the still air. Doing everything they could to avoid recognizing the disdain present in her gaze. Instead, when he finally met her eyes, he only saw softness accompanied by lines only formed with a gentle smile. Similar to the face a mother would make when consoling a crying child.
“Tell me your name, child.”
“M-my name… my name is Maris. I-I don't have a family name, but I was raised by a grandmother with the name Hua.” Starting to feel more comfortable, he asked. “May I know the name of the person who saved me?”
“Hmm, Mare-us.” She mulled over his name for a moment, as if she were determining what characters it used and their meaning. “Yes, it's a good name. The person who picked it chose wisely.”
He wasn't quite sure what to say. He never actually asked where his name came from. So he wasn't sure if it was his parents who chose, or his grandmother. He did ask her what it meant when he was younger, she could never give him a full answer though. Instead, she told him how the first character meant ‘endless’. “Like the boundless and infinite sea,” she would explain.
Having never seen the sea Mareus wasn't sure exactly how true that was, but he did ask a villager who had traveled outside the valley once, and they compared it to the sky. Because of that, he would often stare at the blue sky during the day, tracing the heaven’s scar as it ran into the horizon.
The woman continued to run her fingers through his hair like she would with a beloved pet. “I do have no family name. As such, I have many names over my life. The one I am currently fond of is Fu Kong.”
As if she had gotten what she came for, she gracefully rose to her feet and retreated back to the edge of the darkness. The shadows that fled when she revealed herself now returning, bathing the cave in total darkness.
“Do make sure to eat your meals, I will return with a change clothes for you. Unless, that is, you prefer those rags clinging to your bandages?”
Mareus lowered him so back into kowtow. “Mistress Fu Kong, you bless me with your kindness.”
His words were met with silence, and after a few heartbeats he raised his head to find only darkness awaiting him.
After breaking free from the awe, he finally examined his body for the first time. He had become noticeably thinner from skipping so many meals while his body was healing. It wasn't quite at the level that could be considered unhealthy, but he was already smaller than most children his age, and now he even skinnier.
His thick black hair was crusted and knotted, with some of it knitted into his robes. It's oil seeping into what was left of his clothes and his bandages. That wasn't the worst of it, though. The thing that shocked him the most was the stench.
While retching, he thought. How did I noticed this before?
Mareus reeked with the pungent odor of rot and filth. He was reminded of after the wedding and the parts of the Shou that were left in the field to decompose before being turned into fertilizer.
Breaking free from his regrettable fantasy, he felt a kind of enlightenment that was quickly replaced with embarrassment. I can't believe I was in front of someone like her while like this. He agonized and rolled in his makeshift bed while covering his face.
He frantically looked around for anything to help him hide the stench and, hopefully, his shame. When he noticed a few things that weren't there before. The darkness of the cave faded again, as if the shadows were imitating the clouds on an overcast day.
Without the distraction of a heavenly fairy or his eyes blurred from his tears, he could finally clearly make out his surroundings. And it was no wonder he could find the exit before, instead of a wide area, naturally carved out inside a cave. The room was more like a misshapen bowl with a high ledge that led to several more dark passages.
In the bowl, the closest wall had a small table and stool with a used candle and some parchment. The adjacent one revealed a pile of furs he couldn’t recognize. On the far end of the cave were some plants he'd never seen before. As Mareus got closer he noticed: a small bucket of water, a piece of pumice soap, and a cloth.
He absentmindedly spoke. “I guess she really thought of everything.”
Mareus realized that either the stool was far heavier than it looked, or he had gotten that much weaker as he struggled to drag it between two bigger plants. He tore off his tattered clothes and sat down before fighting with his bandages.
“I'm glad you're taking the initiative to explore on your own.”
He connected the sudden voice into a lot of his feet while trying to cover anything he could. Although the remains of his robe didn't cover much more than the wraps already were.
Unbothered, Fu Kong continued. “I worried that you'd fall back into your depression after I'd left. But seeing you up and about is a testament to the strength of your soul.”
He slowly climbed back onto his seat as the strange woman spoke. Making sure to have most of his body turned away from her. When she suddenly stopped speaking, he looked back to see if he had disappeared again. Instead, she was gracefully sitting on a inky black ledge he didn't notice before.
“Mistress, I don't want to seem disrespectful, but do you need something from me?”
Her face didn't change as she thought for a moment. “There's no rush, I can wait until you're ready.”
Accepting that she had no intention of giving him any privacy, he started scrubbing the areas that weren't covered by his bandages. He quickly noticed that when he accidentally scrubbed over the edges of the bandage, it drank the soapy water. What was even more surprising was that the characters wriggled like they were alive before the bandages secreted some sort of brown substance.
The stink was even more horrendous than before, he immediately slapped it away and watched as it splashed in the bucket. The gunk sizzled away in a matter of seconds until the water was clear again.
Experimentally, he cupped his hand and scooped some of the water onto his leg. Mareus immediately regretted that because the smell was so overwhelming he released what little there was left in his stomach into the bucket.
While covering his nose, he hurriedly cleaned up the remainder of the gunk and made sure to only wash small sections before scraping away what came out into the bucket.
Train to distract himself, he started up a conversation with the woman watching over him. “You said you'd wait until I was ready. What am I supposed to be ready for?”
“Before anything else, we'll have to get you something substantial in your stomach, or you'll waste away completely. You’ll also be needing new robes that are preferably more durable. Your old ones are beyond anything that could be called clothes now, and there's no point of getting you ones that will only fall apart right away.”
Mareus stared at the tattered cloth that was no different than the rag he was using to wash his own body. Wondering just what exactly she had in store for him.
Next chapter

[fucking long] (22m) I genuinely don't remember when I was last happy, like I remember when my parents were together in a decent looking house in a higher middle class neighborhood when my second sibling was born enjoying the time we spent together just playing outside with our rude neighbors and petting our cats indoors and just being kids. Not long after that we went for a walk by a pond with some geese and my mother became irate with my father said some stuff (that I honestly don't remember) and took his tin of dip pouches, told me to eat some and threw the rest to geese. Afterwards my father tried to get me to spit them up we went home. I don't think we talked about it or even went to a doctor. 2 years after that we were staying at my grandparents house bc my grandma was terminal, and maybe a week or two after she passes. We went to the funeral I was crying and crying and I don't remember what else happened. I don't know why but after that I was told that we were going to go see Grandpa again and to get ready, when I went to my room I remember crying and choking myself with a cord to some kids magnify glass (I don't know why I did that) and I don't remember the trip. We ended moving again but were in the same town. My last sibling was born, I ended up getting to choose his middle name pretty prideful of it. My father and mother fight bc my mother feels neglected, so my father ops to work nights. My mother feels that my father doesn't help with the family, he cooks meals 4 times a week. My mother thinks we should be going to therapy, so we do. The therapist thinks I have depression, so I get prescribed antidepressants at 8. Turns out I'm allergic and break out into hives, ended up going to the hospital and getting prescribed steroids. (This happened 3 times total) Parents have a big fight bc Mom was caught with another man in the house, mother moves us to a different town closer to her family. Mom takes me with her to see father in original house at night, he's on the porch sitting in the doorway just sleeping and loopy. Mother is waking him up saying something about him having a problem. (Years later he told me that paramedics were called on him since he nearly ODed on opioids, and he nearly died) Dad comes to check on us and parents are being happy again. Mother's family doesn't like dad (apparently my grandfather is super racist and found out that my father is 1/4 aa from his grandmother. IDK why he never said bitched about it years before, but different matter.) They get back together in the original house, and not even a year later I see my mother talking to a random guy in a laundry mat bring it up to her and she starts hitting me telling me to forget it. More time they fight, we end up leaving in the middle of the night with my father being put into a cop car. (He was released a day later doing nothing to my mother. But what's funny is that the expensive stuff that was bought for my siblings and self was seemingly gone, with my father saying that he assumes that it was my mother and our pothead neighbors nextdoor.) Mother ended up moving us around three times before we stayed in a the same shitty town that my mother was born in with 3 potheads my mother said were her friends. (Personal hatred of stoners) I licked a spoon from a pot of jambalaya, so the prick that my mother was dating waited until I went to sleep and scared me awake [while wearing a balaklava and all black] holding me down, before getting off of me saying that he scared me and to never eat from the ladle again. My cousin let me smoke some weed with him that he never said was laced until I later asked(I don't remember what is was but I remember everything looking static and blocky). I threaten to call the cops on the prick that my mother was dating if he did anything to them. So my mother puts me in a program called options, I was there for a month before my father pulled me out of it. My mother moves to a trailer next to a daycare, I end up riding a short bus and end up going to the daycare. I ended up fighting with the caretaker saying that I could just take care of myself over at my home, and later that night I get into another fight with the prick my mother was dating. Got put in another options clinic further away and labeled with Asperger's before getting it changed to autism and AdHD without even testing me, was two weeks before my father pulled me out. My mother gets me again, takes me with her to a Kroger parking lot where she sells her pills to someone. I mentioned it to my father when I saw him again. Some time later we went back to the stoner house and my father goes there and started yelling and following my mother outside where she was putting us kids in the car. (Apparently he found out that my mother was letting us be around these people who 2 of them had SA charges with one of them being with a minor.) Before decking the shit out of the prick and break his jaw (unfortunately only needed to get his jaw wired for a month). Aunt saw a text message from my father on the phone that was given to me [said that he was sorry that my siblings and me had to experience all of that] and ripped it out of my hands saying that I should never talk to him. My father ended up being put in jail for a year. My mother left the prick and got together with a dirt bag that my father used to be friends with. They would typically go out to eat with his daughters leaving us at home and give us the scraps from their take out or just tell us to make something ourselves (I was 13 and never taught anything), after that I got pissed and ended up disappearing for a whole day because I didn't want to go to school and ended up having some cops looking for me and amber alert and being sent to live with my dad. (I don't care I fucking won) Some time later I ended up breaking my leg from roller skating in school and permanently getting it removed from the criteria and ruining everyone's 7th grade year. (feel like a winner) Moving to a new town with dad(final town to this day), going to highschool. [Retrospect] Some cute girl sat across from me at the library wanting to interlock hands, so I did. She asked if it felt special (I didn't know what that meant to me), I said no and she never talked to me again. Another cute girl, asked me on the last day of middle school if I was interested in anyone and if I wanted to date. I said no (I didn't think I deserved anything and didn't want to waste her time) Freshman year I ended up "e-dating" two people I met on Wattpad(I am aware how cringe I am). First person was someone who suffered anorexia and we used Skype would talk daily and she ended up breaking things up 3 weeks after. Second person was someone who wanted to talk and watch each other sleep before she ultimately changed it to having us sext(hoimomes and teens) her friend wanted her to break up saying that I was probably some old man who was a pedo. (I did not leave that area of the Internet in the healthiest way possible, both for my mental being and how I left the people on there) Pretty much zoomed though highschool stabbing someone freshman year, being thought to be a potential shooter, and overall being treated with fear and respect. Though some people did think I was wasting my potential, especially since I never did my homework but always scored high on my tests and was always asleep at home. Highschool graduation was ruined by COVID, I didn't care. Got a job working on a warehouse dock buying knifes and testing how sharp they were on the top side of only one of my arms, slowly breaking mentally before asking a friend(19m) out saying that was fearful that I was nothing more than a background friend.. 9 months and 3 grand later we broke up (and I don't talk to him to this day) Quit the job, was unemployed for a year just sleeping in bed all day, wound up poisoning my self with caffeine pills so bad that I was taken to a hospital. Got another job, wound up continuing the knife hobby before stopping (stopped feeling any emotion related to the pain, so it was pointless) and got into a different hobby (to burry any resentment or negative feelings) And that's been going up until today with me getting so bored that I was curious how much weight I would lose if I stopped eating every other day. (Lost 25lbs from 210 to 185 yoyo-ing 180 if I don't eat enough calories)
all I feel daily is nothing but empty and tired. The only reason that I am still here is the self hatred for everything I've done wrong by own admission or what I've been told by horrible mother.
Tldr: I am the mistake of two fuck ups and am still here by the means of so much self hatred that I ignore my loneliness.

So this is so weird because I literally just found out about it a few days ago. My mom’s been sick but they couldn’t figure out what’s wrong with her for years until she had some genetic testing done and she is 20% subsaharan African. She confronted my grandmother about it and my grandmother confessed that she’s half black. My great grandfather would cheat on my great grandmother when he was in the military and had love children all over Europe and Asia and to get back at him (my great grandfather was racist and this is before divorce was an option) she would sleep with the black men in town hiring them as “handymen” while he was gone. She got pregnant with my grandma and she was light skinned enough to pass for white as long as she cut her hair short in a pixie cut which she’s had since as long as I can remember so that’s what they did. This was pre civil rights in a southern small town so there was a safety concern for her and my great grandmother and I don’t know if my great grandfather ever even knew or when my grandmother found out the truth but I went and got a DNA test and I’m 12.5 % subsaharan African as well which is crazy to me because I am pretty white and my hair is blonde and I would’ve never believed it if I didn’t have the test results right in front of me. But the question I’m dying to know, does this make me black even though I look white? And What percentage of black is enough to be considered black? Thanks

EXT. CAMELOT - CASTLE DAY
(The castle of Camelot stands over grassy hills and crystal clear rolling rivers and seas. Gray clouds cover the sky and hundreds of soldiers and knights can be seen riding toward the castle. Text appears on the screen reading “CAMELOT” and then “CENTURIES AGO”.)
INT. CASTLE - THRONE ROOM - DAY
(MORGANA LE FAY (Centuries-Old), a beautiful middle aged appearing woman with sharp features and long flowing black hair, sits on the throne and holds Excalibur, the Crown of Camelot sits upon her head. Knights and soldiers march in linear motions through the hall. DEWIN (30s), a scruffily charming magician, enters in handcuffs, with guards behind him. Dewin marches up and presents himself to Morgana. Everyone in the room halts.)
MORGANA: State your name.
DEWIN: You know my name, Morgana.
MORGANA: State your name.
DEWIN: Dewinson of Merlin.
MORGANA: You are being tried with treason and conspiracy against the crown. Do you plead guilty to these crimes?
DEWIN: That depends.
MORGANA: On what?
DEWIN: Who you consider the crown to be.
(Dewin slips his handcuffs off and as he does three Blue Jays come flying out of his sleeve and begin to fly around the room.)
MORGANA: Enough foolishness. I find you guilty of the accusations placed upon you.
DEWIN: Then kill me.
MORGANA: Hm?
DEWIN: Let’s skip past the chatter and get my head on a platter. You see what I did there? Chatter platter.
MORGANA: Silence! Death is far too good for you.
DEWIN: Do your worst, no matter what Camelot will fall.
MORGANA: Is that a threat?
DEWIN: A threat would be something I plan on doing to you myself, the fall of Camelot, well that will be purely your doing.
(Morgana gets off the throne and draws a glowing circle around Dewin with Excalibur, as she does so Dewin lets out a small laugh.)
DEWIN: Binding me? My imprisonment shall not halter the winds of time.
MORGANA: I banish you.
DEWIN: What?
MORGANA: From this plane of time and place I banish you.
DEWIN: Not even you have the power to do that. Banishment spells have been hidden away for ages.
MORGANA: Hidden away in scrolls buried in this very castle. Dilflannu o’r awyren hon.
DEWIN: No.
MORGANA: Dilflannu o’r amser hwn.
DEWIN: No, no, stop.
MORGANA: Dilflannu o’r meddwl. Rwy’n eich gwahardd!
(Morgana’s eyes turn purple and electricity sparks all around Dewin and seems to be sucking the energy out of him.)
EXT. LONDON - FOREST - DAY
(A plain and put together autumnal forest. Text appears over the screen reading “LONDON” and then “EIGHTEEN EIGHTY FIVE”. Electricity sparks and Dewin appears in the forest dazed and confused. He is covered in scars and almost immediately passes out face forward into the ground.)
EXT. LONDON - FOREST - DAY
(As night begins to dawn Dewin is still incapacitated. A carriage led by a horse named, Sally, comes through the forest and halts at Dewin. ALDEN SMITH (Early 40s), a plump and posh man with a defining bushy mustache, cautiously hops out of the carriage. Alden looks around for a moment before spotting Dewin. Alden approaches Dewin and checks his pulse through his arm. Alden’s eyes linger on Dewin for a moment before looking up.)
ALDEN: Hello!? Is anybody there!?
(Alden waits for a moment before looking back down at Dewin. Alden sighs and then lifts Dewin up and into the carriage before hopping in himself. Alden pulls on the horse’s reins and it begins to march forward.)
EXT. LONDON - WICING DRIVE - NIGHT
(Alden drives his carriage down Wicing Drive and parks in front of a townhome, Twenty Six Wicing Drive. Alden gets out of the carriage, carrying Dewin, and walks up the steps. MINERVA SMITH (Early 40s), a stern yet radiant woman, opens the door in shock.)
ALDEN: It’s a long story.
INT. TWENTY SIX WICING DRIVE - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
(A stereotypical Victorian living room made primarily of oak and illuminated by two small oil lamps and a burning fireplace. Dewin is still incapacitated and lies on the table covered in bandages, Alden and Minerva hover over him. Bottles of ointment sit next to Dewin.)
MINERVA: What were you doing in the woods?
ALDEN: It’s the fastest cut home.
MINERVA: And you just-
(Minerva is interrupted by Dewin’s sighing as he wakes up.)
DEWIN: Ah! Where am I? Who are you?
MINERVA: My name is Minnie, and this is my husband, Alden.
DEWIN: What’s happening?
ALDEN: I found you all bruised in the middle of the forest. Do you know what happened to you?
DEWIN: Morgana le Fay banished me.
(Alden and Minerva glance at each other.)
MINERVA: Oh lord, I think you're a bit confused.
DEWIN: I am not confused. I am Dewin, son of Merlin. Now if you don’t mind, I’d like to ask if you could take me to a sage or healer?
MINERVA: Of course, Alden can take you tomorrow morning, but for the night you can stay here.
DEWIN: Why, thank you.
ALDEN: Minnie, may I speak to you in the other room?
MINERVA: Of course.
(Alden and Minerva step into the kitchen.)
INT. TWENTY SIX WICING DRIVE - KITCHEN - NIGHT
ALDEN: We can not keep this man in our home. He is mentally insane.
MINERVA: Which means we must watch over him.
ALDEN: I am looking out for our safety.
MINERVA: And where would we take him?
ALDEN: I don’t know. He is as mad as the Doeth man!
MINERVA: Then that’s where we’ll take him.
ALDEN: Stick to nuts together?
MINERVA: The man has some common sense and he’s very compassionate.
ALDEN: Perfect.
EXT. LONDON - ALDRICH’S HOUSE - NIGHT
(Alden and Minerva Dewin sit in their carriage with Dewin outside of a small house that is slightly separated from the other homes on the street.)
DEWIN: So this is the home of a healer?
ALDEN: According to him. I will go to the door alone, I do not want to scare him.
(Alden gets out of the carriage and starts heading towards the home.)
MINERVA: So you really do believe that you are the son of Merlin.
DEWIN: I know who my father was. Why is this such a puzzle for you and your husband to wrap your heads around?
MINERVA: Why I’ve only heard stories of Camelot, myths of ancient pasts.
DEWIN: So Morgana not only shifted my place but also the time.
(Alden knocks on the home's door and is greeted by ALDRICH DOETH (Hundreds Of Years Old), an older looking man with crystals strapped around his neck.)
ALDRICH: Doctor Smith, have they finally sent someone to take me away to a nuthouse?
ALDEN: On the exact contrary, I’ve found a wounded man who claims to have been sent here by Morgana le Fay.
ALDRICH: That’s what the shift was!
ALDEN: What? You know what it doesn’t matter, as long as you’re willing to take this man.
ALDRICH: Yes, yes, bring him to me.
ALDEN: Minerva, send him up!
(Dewin comes up to the door.)
DEWIN: Hello.
ALDRICH: My goodness, the energy pulsates off of you.
DEWIN (TO ALDEN): This is the healer?
ALDEN: Yes. Now if you two don’t mind I think I will be headed back on my way.
ALDRICH: Are you sure, Doctor? It’s getting rather late, you and your wife are welcome to stay here.
ALDEN: Thank you, but there’s no need.
(Rain starts pouring out of the sky out of nowhere and thunder and lighting begin.)
ALDRICH: What about now, Doctor?
ALDEN: Minnie! We’re staying here tonight!
INT. ALDRICH’S HOUSE - LIVING SPACE - DAY
(A cluttered mess of books, candles, and potions. Aldrich, Alden, Minerva, and Dewin sit on Aldrich’s circular array of couches and chairs.)
ALDRICH: Before we dive in I suggest you go wash off, Dewin. The washroom is that small one to your left.
DEWIN: Thank you, Aldrich.
(Dewin gets up and goes into the washroom.)
ALDRICH: I know what you two think of me, the neighborhood’s resident crazy.
MINERVA: Not at all, Mister Doeth.
ALDRICH: Don’t lie, Minerva, our actions all come back to bite us.
ALDEN: So we think you're mental, what of it?
ALDRICH: There are dark forces amongst us, Mister and Misses Smith. I believe that Dewin is here to save us.
ALDEN: I appreciate you letting us stay here, but I think it’s time we leave.
ALDRICH: I will change this storm into an earthquake to keep you here if I must.
ALDEN: Come on, Minnie.
(Alden and Minerva get up and go to leave when the whole room begins to shake.)
ALDEN: What’s happening!?
ALDRICH: I warned you.
(Aldrich makes silencing symbols with his hands and the storm and the shaking stops.)
ALDRICH: Now will you listen to me?
(Alden and Minerva both sit back down.)
ALDEN: What are you?
AlDRICH: A magician, a clairvoyant, a healer, I am all of those things and more.
ALDEN: Why do you want us here so badly?
ALDRICH: I don’t think it’s a coincidence that you are the one who found Dewin, Doctor Smith. He needs a guide in this vast new world. Prophecy states that when the second coming of the Camelot war comes, the savior will have a protector.
ALDEN: And why me?
ALDRICH: There are questions that only we can answer ourselves.
(Dewin comes out of the washroom and sits back down.)
ALDRICH: Dewin, please tell me exactly how you arrived here.
DEWIN: Morgana le Fay used an ancient banishing spell on me.
ALDRICH: The fall of Camelot.
(Suddenly a wind sweeps through the room that blows out all the candles.)
MINERVA: Mister Doeth, are you doing this?
ALDRICH: No.
(A match is lit in the center of the room to reveal GWENWYN LIGHTWOOD (Centuries-Old), a green draconic humanoid woman in black robes and a hood.)
GWENWYN: Aldrich.
ALDRICH: Lady Lightwood.
GWENWYN: I’ve tracked a shift in magic to your home.
ALDRICH: It is this boy, he was banished here from Camelot.
(Gwenwyn goes up to Dewin and takes her hood off to reveal her scaly appearance. Alden gasps in disbelief. Gwenwyn runs her finger down Dewin’s cheek.)
GWENWYN (TO ALDRICH): Hm. I presume you wish to let him roam freely?
ALDRICH: With guidance, yes.
GWENWYN: If one thing goes wrong you will be punished.
ALDRICH: I know.
DEWIN (TO GWENWYN): Who are you?
GWENWYN: The last of the dragons. Just as Aldrich is the last descendent of the Family Merlin.
DEWIN (TO ALDRICH): You're a descendant of my father?
ALDRICH: Of his sister, I have many of her poems and spell tombs still intact here.
GWENWYN: Magic is rare these days, endangered, most people don’t even know it exists. So are we under agreement on the boy, Aldrich?
ALDRICH: Yes, but something is still troubling. If you and I both felt Dewin’s presence then-
GWENWYN: Benjamin did too.
DEWIN: Who is Benjamin?
ALDRICH: A descendant of Morgana who wishes to rule the earth under her ideals.
GWENWYN: A very very dangerous man who will certainly kill me if he finds me here.
(Gwenwyn’s match extinguishes and after a moment the candles all reignite but Gwenwyn is gone.)
ALDEN: By Jove!
ALDRICH: So do you all accept this challenge?
DEWIN: What challenge?
ALDRICH: Defeating Benjamin Fayle.
DEWIN: Of course!
ALDEN: Absolutely not.
ALDRICH: Are you that repulsed by compassion?
ALDEN: I can’t risk Minerva of I’s life on what could all be me hallucinating.
ALDRICH: You're risking the world for a craven excuse.
ALDEN: Goodbye.
(Alden gets up.)
ALDEN: Let’s leave, Minnie.
MINERVA: Thank you for your hospitality, Mister Doeth, and good luck.
(Alden leaves, followed by Minerva.)
EXT. LONDON - ALDRICH’S HOUSE - NIGHT
(Alden and Minerva ride through the street in their carriage.)
MINERVA: We were definitely drugged.
ALDEN: Absolutely.
EXT. LONDON - WICING DRIVE - NIGHT
(Alden and Minerva hop out of their carriage.)
ALDEN: I’m going to bring Sally back to the stables.
MINERVA: Goodnight, love you.
ALDEN: I love you most.
(Minerva goes up and enters Twenty Six Wicing Drive as Alden detaches Sally from the carriage and begins to guide her down the cobbled sidewalk with one of his hands on her reins.)
EXT. LONDON - FOREST - NIGHT
(Alden guides Sally through the forest to a set of stables. Sally suddenly rears up and neighs in terror.)
ALDEN: What is it Sally?
(Sally suddenly breaks off her reins and runs towards the stables. A figure in a dark purple hood and robe sweeps past Alden and their eyes glow purple. Alden screams.)
INT. TWENTY SIX WICING DRIVE - BEDROOM- DAY
(Alden and Minerva lay next to each other asleep in bed. Alden wakes up screaming which awakens Minerva.)
MINERVA: What’s the matter?
ALDEN: Just a night terror.
MINERVA: We did the right thing with Dewin, he’s with someone like him now.
ALDEN: Is that really a good thing? I think I’m going to go to the pub.
MINERVA: This early in the morning?
ALDEN: I need to clear my head after yesterday.
INT. GRIFFIN’S TAIL PUB - DAY
(A traditional Victorian pub. Dewin sits at the bar and is served by BRYNN CROWING (Early 30s), a charming bartender.)
BRYNN: What can I get you, Mate?
DEWIN: Just a pint of mead, please.
(Brynn goes and pours Dewin a pint of mead that she brings back to him and he begins drinking.)
BRYNN: I like your outfit, it’s very medieval.
DEWIN: It was made by the tailor of Sir Gawain.
(Brynn gives a light chuckle.)
BRYNN: What’s your name?
DEWIN: Dewin, and yours?
BRYNN: Brynn.
(Alden enters and sees Dewin. Alden leaves, but as he does he spots another person in a dark purple robe and hood with glowing purple eyes.)
DEWIN: You're very beautiful.
BRYNN: Why, thank you.
DEWIN: Would you like to go for a stroll?
BRYNN: My shift here doesn’t end till six.
DEWIN: Then I’ll see you then.
BRYNN: I guess you will.
(Dewin finishes his mead and drops two silver coins with dragons etched into them on the bar before swiftly leaving. Brynn picks up the coins and looks at them with confusion and yearning.)
EXT. LONDON - ALDRICH’S HOUSE - DAY
(Alden knocks on the door and Aldrich opens it.)
ALDRICH: I’ve been expecting you, come in.
(Alden follows Aldrich into the home.)
INT. - ALDRICH’S HOUSE - LIVING SPACE - DAY
(Alden and Aldrich sit across from each other.)
ALDRICH: Can I offer you some tea?
ALDEN: No thank you, I want to be in the clearest state of mind possible here.
ALDRICH: So what ignited your appearance here?
ALDEN: I’ve been seeing these people.
ALDRICH: Who are “these people”?
ALDEN: They wear these dark robes and their eyes glow purple.
ALDRICH: Faley’s society.
ALDEN: What?
ALDRICH: Benjamin Faley, the evil man I mentioned last night. Is this what caused you to believe?
ALDEN: What are you saying?
ALDRICH: That you believe in magic.
ALDEN: You're mad.
ALDRICH: Exactly, so the fact that you came to me shows that there’s at least one lingering thought in your mind that magic is reality and reality is magic.
(There’s a moment of silence between Alden and Aldrich.)
ALDRICH: Where have you been seeing the people you mentioned?
ALDEN: Everywhere that Dewin has been.
ALDRICH: Oh no, oh no, no, no.
ALDEN: What is it?
ALDRICH: Dewin is going out with a woman tonight.
ALDEN: Already? He’s only been here for a day.
ALDRICH: He's charming but also so foolish. You must watch them, in case Faley strikes or even worse this woman is working for him.
ALDEN: What could I even do to stop that?
ALDRICH: You are destined to protect Dewin, and at this point your logic for denying all of this is purely irrational. You're not hesitating because you think it’s not real, you're hesitating because you know it is. He is meeting her at six outside of the “Griffin’s Tail”.
ALDEN: I’m not going.
ALDRICH: We both know that you will.
ALDEN: Farewell, Mister Doeth.
ALDRICH: May the spirit of Merlin be with you, Doctor Smith.
(Alden gets up and leaves.)
EXT. LONDON - GRIFFIN’S TAIL PUB - NIGHT
(Dewin stands outside of the pub when Brynn comes out of the side door and walks towards him.)
BRYNN: I wasn’t expecting you to show.
DEWIN: Why wouldn’t I?
BRYNN: Most men flirt and then leave, half of them are married.
DEWIN: They are not true gentlemen then.
BRYNN: I suppose not.
DEWIN: Shall we begin walking?
BRYNN: Sure.
EXT. LONDON - STREETS - NIGHT
(Dewin and Brynn stroll down the streets of London. Alden follows them from a distance.)
DEWIN: This world is so beautiful.
BRYNN: Compared to all the other worlds you’ve been to?
DEWIN: Well Camelot obviously has a better scenic view.
BRYNN: Camelot?
DEWIN: My home land.
BRYNN: You're full of jokes.
DEWIN: I’m not joking.
BRYNN: What?
(Suddenly someone grabs Brynn into an alleyway and she screams. Dewin quickly turns to see no one beside him and runs after her, followed by Alden.)
EXT. LONDON - ROOFTOP - NIGHT
(The clear skies suddenly turn gray and ominous as Dewin arrives on the roof of a building to see three people with glowing purple eyes in the dark purple robes and hoods with one standing in the center holding Brynn with a dagger to her neck. Alden arrives on the rooftop.)
ALDEN: Bloody hell!
DEWIN: Let go of her!
(The three people take off their hoods and their eyes go to normal shades. The person holding Brynn is revealed to be DABRIA (30s), a menacing looking woman.)
DABRIA: Dim mynd i mewn dim dianc.
(A purple hazy force field appears around the edges of the rooftop.)
DABRIA: So you are the one sent to stop us.
DEWIN: What do you connote?
DABRIA: We are the Citadel of le Fay.
DEWIN: Oh no.
DABRIA: Who are you?
DEWIN: My name is Dewin, I am the son of Merlin, and I demand that you let Brynn go.
DABRIA: Why? Is she your protector?
BRYNN: Dewin, what are they talking about!?
(Dewin starts to move his hands around and a wispy blue energy begins to come out of them.)
DABRIA: Get him!
(The two other people with Dabria rush towards Dewin to attack him, but he uses the energy he created to push them around and drop them both to the ground. Dabria drops Brynn and her dagger and Alden rushes to pick up the dagger and succeeds.)
DABRIA: You are foolish, Dewin.
(Dabria pulls a gun out of her robes and shoots it at Dewin but he turns the bullet into a flower. Dabria shoots more but each time Dewin does the same thing until Dabria is out of bullets. Alden sneaks up behind Dabria and stabs her in the back. Dabria shrieks in pain and then disappears in a cloud of black smoke. Brynn gets up off of the ground.)
BRYNN: What the hell just happened?
DEWIN: Are you okay?
BRYNN: Not mentally. What in the world is going on here? How did you turn bullets into flowers!?
DEWIN: I told you I’m from Camelot.
(Alden drops the dagger.)
ALDEN: Did I just kill that woman?
DEWIN: Most likely not, you didn’t stab deep enough to hit any organs.
BRYNN: What do we do now?
DEWIN: Go home and call it a night.
BRYNN: I can’t forget about this.
DEWIN: I’m not asking you to.
ALDEN: If any of us speak of this people think we’re insane.
DEWIN: Then don’t speak of it.
BRYNN: Will I see you again, Dewin?
DEWIN: Did you enjoy tonight?
BRYNN: I was almost killed.
DEWIN: That doesn’t answer my question.
BRYNN: Meet at the pub on Friday after my shift.
INT. TWENTY SIX WICING DRIVE - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
(Alden and Minerva lay next to each other.)
MINERVA: Do you think the Citadel will return?
ALDEN: Unequivocally.
MINERVA: What have we gotten into?
INT. BENJAMIN’S LAIR - NIGHT
(A cavern full of crystals and magical runes. BENJAMIN FALEY (30s or 40s), an attractive but uptight looking man, sits on his throne. Dabria enters and walks to face the throne, she bows and then gets back up.)
BENJAMIN: Did you find him?
DABRIA: Yes, Master Faley.
BENJAMIN: And did you find his protector?
DABRIA: Yes, but it’s not the girl.
BENJAMIN: Then who?
DABRIA: A Doctor Alden Smith.
BENJAMIN: Did you kill the doctor?
DABRIA: He deeply wounded me.
BENJAMIN: Then the battle goes on.
DABRIA: For Morgana.
BENJAMIN: For Morgana.
INT. ALDRICH’S HOUSE - LIVING SPACE - NIGHT
(Aldrich and Dewin sit across from each other drinking tea.)
ALDRICH: There are many things in this world, Dewin…
INT. GWENWYN’S CAVE - NIGHT
(Gwenwyn stands in the middle of a circle of candles. She stretches out her hands and forms magic blue charts and graphs with a picture of Dewin.)
ALDRICH (VOICE OVER): Forces we can’t explain…
EXT. LONDON - ALLEYWAY- NIGHT
(Brynn wears only her undergarments and takes a few coins from a man.)
ALDRICH (VOICE OVER): Secrets we hide…
INT. BENJAMIN’S LAIR - NIGHT
(Benjamin sits on his throne.)
ALDRICH (VOICE OVER): And villains we must defeat.
INT. ALDRICH’S HOUSE - LIVING SPACE - NIGHT
ALDRICH: You are the key to this all, Dewin, you are the son of Merlin.

She was a pure-blood supremacist in her youth, and a Slytherin through-and-through. She called her future husband a mudblood when she first encountered him, when she was forced to work with him during a class, to which he responded, “so have muddy blood, do I? Grow up, Black, and think of some better insults: we’re not five years old”. She was nonplussed, and this would, in the long-run, be what first planted the seeds of doubt in her mind, though not for a couple of years to come yet.
They really first became on-speaking-terms after she yelled at a Lucius Malfoy for hexing Ted when she was a prefect, and then took him to the hospital wing: she may be a pure-blood supremacist, but the Blacks had always raised their children to, in the public eye, conform to society’s rules.
She and Ted apparated away together after the last day of their final year at Hogwarts - she was too scared to ever tell her family she was marrying a muggle-born, and dreaded living a middle-class lifestyle, but she knew she couldn’t choose against Ted.
Most, but not all, of her former housemates shunned her, with the exceptions being Lavender Greengrass and Claudia Pucey, who reached out to her, and so they remained in touch.
Ted worked as a weatherman for the BBC, while Andromeda herself worked at the cafeteria at St Mungo’s.
She’s never stopped missing the Blacks’ upper class, privileged lifestyle, and although she condones all human beings, she considers humans above non-humans, and never condoned her daughter’s marriage to a warewolf. She began to truly hate Remus Lupin upon learning of her daughter’s death, blaming her late son-in-law for running off and being the hero instead of staying home and alive for his family.
She loves Teddy with all her heart, as she views him as a mixture of herself and Nymphadora. She also reached out to Narcissa after the war, desperate to have some more family and so willing to overlook Narcissa’s past support for the people who’d murdered Andromeda’s husband and daughter. Is it admirable? No. But most people aren’t that admirable. She and Narcissa will occasionally meet up, though it is hard having to silently ignore each other’s disapproval of the other’s life choices.
Bloodlines remain a guilty interest of hers to this day.
When Teddy and Victoire move to Australia, she shortly follows, and loves it as much as they do. What she loves most though is being the great-grandmother to so many little boys and girls.

She was a pure-blood supremacist in her youth, and a Slytherin through-and-through. She called her future husband a mudblood when she first encountered him, when she was forced to work with him during a class, to which he responded, “so have muddy blood, do I? Grow up, Black, and think of some better insults: we’re not five years old”. She was nonplussed, and this would, in the long-run, be what first planted the seeds of doubt in her mind, though not for a couple of years to come yet.
They really first became on-speaking-terms after she yelled at a Lucius Malfoy for hexing Ted when she was a prefect, and then took him to the hospital wing: she may be a pure-blood supremacist, but the Blacks had always raised their children to, in the public eye, conform to society’s rules.
She and Ted apparated away together after the last day of their final year at Hogwarts - she was too scared to ever tell her family she was marrying a muggle-born, and dreaded living a middle-class lifestyle, but she knew she couldn’t choose against Ted.
Most, but not all, of her former housemates shunned her, with the exceptions being Lavender Greengrass and Claudia Pucey, who reached out to her, and so they remained in touch.
Ted worked as a weatherman for the BBC, while Andromeda herself worked at the cafeteria at St Mungo’s.
She’s never stopped missing the Blacks’ upper class, privileged lifestyle, and although she condones all human beings, she considers humans above non-humans, and never condoned her daughter’s marriage to a warewolf. She began to truly hate Remus Lupin upon learning of her daughter’s death, blaming her late son-in-law for running off and being the hero instead of staying home and alive for his family.
She loves Teddy with all her heart, as she views him as a mixture of herself and Nymphadora. She also reached out to Narcissa after the war, desperate to have some more family and so willing to overlook Narcissa’s past support for the people who’d murdered Andromeda’s husband and daughter. Is it admirable? No. But most people aren’t that admirable. She and Narcissa will occasionally meet up, though it is hard having to silently ignore each other’s disapproval of the other’s life choices.
Bloodlines remain a guilty interest of hers to this day.
When Teddy and Victoire move to Australia, she shortly follows, and loves it as much as they do. What she loves most though is being the great-grandmother to so many little boys and girls.

-and obviously it was stupid to think that any of my old friends would still be there. Could I even call them that? I haven’t been back here in maybe ten years and my ‘friends’ were the staff at a bar I worked at for two months, transient work by its very nature. Especially in Rome. There’s a street preacher and I think he’s saying “KINGS, BOOK ONE! CHAPTER 19!” and maybe he is because he has 1 Kings 19 (11-13) written on a sign next to him.
I remember Malfi… Marfi? Was a student anyway. Studying history at masters level. I can clearly see the seal of her university in my head clearly but I can't remember the university. I think about maybe pulling out my phone and googling it but it’ll take too long and I don’t want to waste the battery or not be looking at my surroundings for too long.
Hey- hey friend how are you? What are you doing here?
Oh god. If I keep my head down maybe he won’t bother me but suddenly there’s a wall of flesh draped in a cheap blue t-shirt semi-blocking my path.
I’m busy, sorry. I push past him and he yells out.
HEY! You got a problem with black people?
Loud enough for others to turn around.
What the hell is his problem? The insolence of it! The actual insolence! I smiled as I said I’m busy for fucks’ sake. I have a disgust response from the way he speaks as it plays back in my head. You ghat a problehm with blaq people? Flat vowels from the Global South. I could smell whatever ersatz cologne he’d doused himself in. Big, dumb bicycle chain wrapped around his neck. I could barely make out this heckler’s face, he was so overweight he was drowned in fat, and he threw his arms up in the air so his bony elbows came out at weird, jutting angles.
My mood is completely ruined so I turned right, catching the sun, cutting off a man walking a Chow dog who I presume follows after me.
My sunglasses are in my pocket and for whatever reason I lose the will to actually pull them out so I’m walking blind into glare. Was everyone still looking at me? The sun is beating down and on top of that the wind is blowing directly into my face. I can’t see anything and I feel prickly heat around my flanks. Maybe a tweed jacket was the wrong choice, but I’m not going to take it off and drape it over my shoulder right now. I do not want to be perceived.
I start thinking about the street venders from ten years ago, how friendly they all were. That’s not a thing anymore, I guess. I force all that from my mind and as I’m walking I involuntarily start thinking back to when I was little.
I was six, maybe seven, and my mother was in the hospital so I was being looked after by my father. It took him maybe three days to stop bothering to make sure I had a bath or brushed my teeth. Maybe a week before he stopped doing laundry. About three weeks in he was forced to start taking me to school again; somebody had mentioned something to my grandmother who came round to shout at him. He reckoned I could learn everything I needed from watching television.
The other kids were not a fan of my new look, and the bullying was horrible. Already a lonely child, I was further isolated from my peers by my appearance and odour. I had an initial grace period, I’m sure Miss. Euston had prepped everyone that my mother was sick and everyone was to be very nice to me.
The great mass of my appearance, greasy and smelly, eventually pulled through the gravity of Miss. Euston’s authority, and finally I slipped through her graces and into the bottomless pit of cruelty only children are capable of.
One night when the rest of the class was dismissed she kept me back to talk to me.
“How are you, John?”
Fine.
“I hear your mummy will be back soon? Isn’t that great?”
Yes.
“Maybe you should tell your dad to give you a bath before she gets home, yes?”
Yes.
“Is your dad coming to pick you up today?”
I don’t know.
She smiled at me put her hand to my face. It was warm and soft and I could feel the sea-salt sweat from her palms. It was comforting. Maybe that’s why I’m a cuddler now. She gave me a chocolate bar from her treat tin and let me go. My dad did actually pick me up that day. He asked me where I got the chocolate bar from and I said Miss. Euston gave it to me. I never ate it, at some point it must have been thrown away.
I realized Miss. Euston was, probably, barely a few years older than I was now. I wonder what she was up to. At some point the buildings covered the sun and I checked my watch. Two more hours to go.
I see a free table on a raised mount and decide to sit there. I look up at the statues looking down at me and a waiter comes over and says I have to order if I want to stay there. This annoys me so I bark at him that I need a menu if I want to order anything. He leaves and the clouds open again, probably by the wind, and it beats down on me again. Feeling more grounded I take off my jacket and drape it over my chair and take the cigarettes from the inside pocket. I looked at my phone and re-read the invitation email.
To – me, please be here at whenever o’clock to talk to our international undergrads on international project management.
Regards, some professor I didn’t like as an undergrad.
It was certainly an honor to be asked, but no doubt was being used to drum up engagement for some useless course they were peddling. How exactly does International Relations parse into International Project Management? You learn everything you need to know doing the damn job. I had emailed myself my famous slide deck, the one that was thrown around in secret by senior bureaucrats who were sick of being bureaucrats and wanted to actually do something. The one that Managers said could never be released, but had obviously plagiarized in snippets when they thought appearing to be daring would be beneficial to their careers.
A brunette waitress comes over with the menu, she looks young. Maybe 18. Over a decade younger than me.
If you don’t mind getting up, she said in a startling American, there’s a buffet as well.
I say thank you and look at her. Was she American? American-Italian? She looked British. Maybe Danish. I didn’t want to ask. She was pale, apart from her lips and cheeks which were the color of a rose.
Thank you, I say. Do I order drinks from you?
Of course, she said and took out a notepad and pen. The other wait staff used an iPad. I wondered where hers was and asked for a double espresso and a glass of orange juice.
Is that all?
Wait, how tall is the orange?
What?
I smile and her and mime a glass growing from very small to very tall. How tall is the glass? Is it a lot of orange juice?
She smiles and laughs and it’s very cute, I think she lost her composure because the laugh doesn’t match her voice.
I run my hand through my hair because I need something for my hands to do, and she says yeah. It’s tall. Pretty big. Are you going far after this?
I dunno. There’s some people trying to kill me. I smile again, obviously a joke.
She smiles back. You should have the buffet and I’ll bring you your drinks. I’ll leave the jar of orange juice but don’t tell anyone, OK?
OK, I say. Grazie.
Prego, she says and walks off.
I check how far the walk is and it’s maybe 40 minutes, too far in this weather. Will it rain? Will I literally burn to a crisp? I wish I had brought my laptop so I could have the slide deck up. I could ask the waitress what she thought.
She comes back with my coffee and a cold glass of orange juice, and a jug of water.
Sorry, she says, my manager told me to only pour the juice.
That’s fine, I think I’m only 40 minutes away. Like three miles.
You won’t be able to walk three miles in forty minutes, she says. You should eat quickly, then get up and go.
I dunno, I say, drawing out my response. I’m quite tall.
She laughs again and says she’ll bring my cheque now.
I get up and make a plate of pastry, the meat looks like it had been left out so I avoided it. I grabbed some things I don’t know the name of, and a slice of bread that was being warmed on a terracotta platter over some coals.
She walks away and when she comes back I want to ask for her number, but there’s a huge delivery truck slowly rolling through. My cup is shaking in its’ saucer and if it wasn’t already mostly drunk it’d run over. I try to make conversation but I don’t want to shout at her so just give her 30 euro and say keep the tip. She shouts back thanks. I get up and start walking.
The sun won out against the rain and it started to pound me again. The air was dry. I was walking fast and making good time, but I did not want to end up sweaty when I got there so I took off my jacket and carried it under my arm. I checked my phone again and I had a missed call and a voice mail. I couldn’t see the name in the glare.
I couldn’t stop to put earphones in, so I put my phone away.
I managed to make it to the campus with five minutes to spare. I hullo’d with the professors and asked for a glass of water. I drank it in one then went to the bathroom to piss, and check my hair. I was sweating but my jacket would cover it. My hair looked great. I clenched my jaw and looked at my face. Intense. Satisfied, I blew my nose and in my head went over the topics I’d cover. If I got lost I’d ask the students questions.
For some reason I thought back to Miss. Euston, looking after the poor scapegrace that was me. I remember once she told me God was in the wind.
I was waiting in the wings, hidden on a pre-stage before the main stage. Before I put my phone on silent, I thought I’d listen to the voice mail quickly. I briefly thought it "pre-stage" was even a word. I didn’t recognize the number. I pressed play and raised it to my ear.
There was a pause and then, cutting through the roar of the wind once present but no longer, came a voice.
“Hi, John, I hope you’re well and I’m just calli-“
The voicemail stopped. Someday, I hope, Apple will figure out how to actually let me hear my voicemail without constantly having to un-pause it. I hit play and put my phone back to my ear but I knew who it is before she said her name. “I’m just calling to say hey. It’s me, Joanne.”
It was a whisper being carried over time and continents. A whisper from a girl that might as well be dead. Why me, Joanne. Why me.
I covered my face with my hands. I realized I was doing it in shame and suddenly Miss. Euston’s voice came back to me again. “God is in the wind.”
I pulled the skin on my face down, pressed hard, and walked out onto the next stage, tucking my phone away in my-

It's been 30 days since I quit caffeine and made my first-ever Reddit post: https://www.reddit.com/decaf/comments/1c7ui2it_is_a_nightmare_to_be_addicted_to_caffeine_this/
Considering my previous consumption, I've managed to avoid approximately 100 to 120 large, strong black coffees, as well as some teas, sodas, and chocolate.
Here's my experience so far:
WEEK 1

• Experienced the usual withdrawal symptoms like headaches, neck/back pains, and feeling sick.
• Felt the urge to seek dopamine from other sources like sex, masturbation and sugar.
• Despite the fatigue, I felt euphoric, possibly due to the excitement of starting a new chapter in my life.
• Pleasant relaxed feeling in my body, as if my body was thanking me for giving up poison.
• Experienced uncomfortable memories, shame, guilt, and anxiety before sleep, leading to bad sleep some nights.

WEEK 2

• Noticed an increased sense of humor, more relaxation in social contexts, and a newfound ability to give a speech at my grandmother's birthday, something I never usually do.
• I noticed that I was more open to new experiences, more tolerant, and more creative.
• Less impulsive and more rational, patient, and calculating.
• Physical symptoms alleviated, allowing me to enjoy my daily 2-hour walks and light exercises.
• Found it difficult to work and procrastinated on non-urgent tasks but felt more hopeful overall.

WEEK 3

• Experienced depression and decreased cognitive abilities.
• Struggling to express myself and solve day-to-day problems.
• Anxiety set in, causing me to avoid social events, which was the complete opposite of the sudden confidence I had in the second week to give a speech and be more relaxed.

WEEK 4

• Depression and anxiety worsened.
• I've started taking cold showers in the mornings for a boost, and I'm finding it helpful.
• Had scary thoughts about feeling this way forever, and worried about my lack of motivation and drive to accomplish this year's plans.

What has immensely helped me to stay on track:

• Listening to "The Easy Way to Quit Caffeine" by Allen Carr on Audible.
• Listening to "Caffeine" by Michael Pollan on Audible.
• Listening to caffeine-related chapters of "Why We Sleep" by Matthew Walker on Audible.
• Reading Decaf every day and receiving support from the community, especially from those who commented on my initial post.
• The withdrawals - realizing the reality about the "safe and beneficial" nature of caffeine.

I believe that I am on a good path. I will not stop, and I will not break, even if I have to sacrifice things, opportunities, and plans and endure the awkwardness of my lessened social capabilities and social anxiety. That said, I really hope that it will be over soon. To everyone out there fighting - you are not alone. It is and will be worth it! Stay strong!

Chapter 4
Location: Glimmer Fate
POV: Faror Hend
No rain on the plains in Glimmer Fate. High black grasses make the area extremely hot. Faror Hend is patrolling the edge of the Vitr Sea with her cousin Spinnock Durav. The shore of the Vitr Sea is devoid of life and the breeze coming off of it stings the lungs. The liquid of the sea dissolves almost anything it comes into contact with including stones. Spinnock is sharpening his Hust blade on a stone that has been worn away by the sea. His blade is very old and therefore does not sing. It's new to him, but has been passed down for generations. A third rider in their party, Finarra Stone, was scouting the shoreline out of sight. Nothing lived this close, so it was safe to go alone. Today the Vitr is calm, but recently it has not been and storms had resulted in its claiming more land for the sea. The sea is expanding. Eventually it will come to the border of Kurald Galain if they cannot find a solution. The Tiste have no idea what the source of the Vitr is and how to stop it's expansion. Tiste scholars are also unwilling to consult with anyone outside the Tiste.
Faror Hend is extremely attracted to Spinnock Durav, but their houses are too close in relations for her to act on this attraction. Plus she is betrothed and older, although these would not be a barrier to her. Faror thinks of a line from a Gallan poem, "The ground is bare and hard / and will hold all secrets / and the sky cares not / for the games of those beneath it." She desperately wants to act on her lust, but so far has kept in control. Faror is a big Gallan fan. Spinnock seems to know how his cousin feels and teases her.
POV: Captain Finarra Stone
During her patrol of the Vitr coastline, Finarra finds a carcass. This is puzzling as she has never seen one this close to the sea. It appears to have come out of the sea itself. The corpse is huge with scales and a tail. But a lot of the body eaten away by the Vitr. The head and neck were missing and the top of the torso appears chewed. Very few Tiste had ever claimed to have seen a dragon, but this could be one. However, those legends all had them with wings and Faror did not see any evidence of wings on this beast. A breeze brought the stench to the horse and this caused it to back up a few steps making noise. At this the stump where the neck should be lifted. The creature begins shuffling towards her. With an unbelievably fast lurch it closes the distance and swipes at Faror and her horse with two arms catching the horse with both swipes. Faror finds herself tumbling through the air. She lands on her shoulder and breaks something. The beast is still again after decimating her horse. She decides to head for flatter ground to make better time back to her party. She is the daughter of Hust Henarald and possesses his sword. Her biggest threat now were the naked wolves that roamed Glimmer Fate. Faror contemplates the meaning of dark and light and the impossibility of either without the other. She also says that Mother Dark had been a mortal Tiste woman before embracing darkness. While Finarra is contemplating, something screams at her intending to freeze her with fear. Finarra mortally wounds it as it streaks by.
POV: Faror Hend
Hearing the screams of the wolves and no sound of their prey, Faror fears Finarra is the prey. She has not returned and it has been too long. Faror decides to leave Spinnock at camp and go to investigate. He tells her to be careful and he doesn't want to lose her. She responds by saying that he has many cousins. Faror can hear at least a dozen wolves and knows that it is likely that Finarra is fighting by herself without her horse. Thinking of Spinnock's face, she attempts to replace it in her mind with her betrothed, Kagamandra Tulas. A Tiste who the war had made gaunt. Tulas was of a low house and was under the command of Vatha Urusander. This alone would not have made house Durav attempt a betrothal. However, in the war he had saved the life of Silchas Ruin and by doing so had earned the favor of Mother Dark who would reward him by making him the head of a new High House. She thinks that the war stole Tulas's ability to love anything and she is not sure she can love him either, but she will try.
Eventually she finds the place of the wolf attack. There are many dead wolves. The fighting is over, but she does not see Finarra. She thinks further down the trail she will find wolves eating her corpse. Finarra comes out from behind some boulders. Faror begins to speak, but Finarra tells her to speak softly as something has walked out of the Vitr. Finarra chastises Faror for beginning to follow the path through the grasses that would have led to her death. Faror discovers that she had almost welcomed it. Finarra was tracking whatever had walked out of the Vitr when she came upon Faror. "Small footprints, puddles of Vitr pooled in them" She tells Faror that it is their duty to track it.
POV: Finarra Stone
Finarra in a lot of pain from her shoulder and wolf bites, contemplates the look she caught in Faror's eyes. One that told her she was seeking death. She thinks the cause may be Faror's betrothal to a broken man that may be incapable of love and being in close proximity to Spinnock who oozes it. "Spinnock Durav had been pursued by women and men since he had first come of age. He had learned to not give up too much of himself, since those hands reaching for him desired little more than conquest and possession." Finarra has also caught Spinnock's adoration of his cousin turning in to something else. She knows this kind of torture between them will ruin them. She contemplates how to fix the situation. Transferring one might work, but also thinks of another more sure answer.
POV: Faror Hend
Faror and Finarra are both on the back of Faror's horse. Finarra is unconscious and Faror is having a difficult time keeping her on the horse. She thinks about Finarra only being a few years older than her, but already being a battle veteran. She realizes that the wolves she found were not the ones killed by Finarra, but those of the someone that came from the sea. Faror makes it back to the camp. They treat the unconscious woman's wounds fearing infection.
POV: Spinnock Durav
They had burned away the dead flesh and infection on Finarra's leg hoping they got it all. Finarra has not woken up and is fevered. Spinnock outlines their options whether to stay until Finarra wakes up or to try to transport her as is. Faror informs him that Finarra wanted them to track the stranger from the Vitr. Faror tells Spinnock that Finarra needs a healer and soon, but they also need to track the stranger. Faror will go after the stranger and Spinnock will take Finarra to the outpost. Spinnock follows orders, but now there is a coldness between the cousins.
Following the trail she had discovered the previous night, Faror Hend found several more wolf corpses all killed with savage blows. The path she now followed, if kept straight, would lead directly to Kharkanas. Eventually she comes to a clearing and finds a fair-skinned, blonde woman clothed only in a scaled wolf hide over her shoulders. Everywhere else was sunburnt. She appears young and has no weapon, which is curious considering her roughly cut hair and several wolf corpses. Faror says she means no harm and asks if she is an Azathanai. To this the woman responds, "I know your language. But it is not mine. Azathanai. I know that word. Azat drevlid naratarh Azathanai. The people who were never born." After a few questions that the woman cannot answer, she tells Faror that she recalls nothing not even the sea she came out of or her own name. Faror tells the woman that she will escort her to Kharkanas to meet with Mother Dark and gives the woman a Tiste name until she can recall her own. The name is T'riss. Upon hearing this the woman smiles and says, "I am “born of the sea”. Faror asks if she will walk or ride with her. T'riss says that Faror's horse looks useful and she will have one too. She turns to the grasses and conjures a horse out of them. It seems that it's weight is too much for the grasses used. Looking at Faror, T'riss then conjures clothes, lance, and a sword out of the same grasses. This scares Faror because it is god-like sorcery. "‘Mother Dark.’ T’riss smiled. ‘That is a nice title.’"
Location: 3 days out from Neret Sorr
POV: Sharenas Ankhadu
Sharenas likes the heat. She tans nice unlike most of her cohort. She hates the cold and remembers her time in the campaign against the Jheleck unfondly. She is the commander of her cohort. Her sister and cousin, Infayen Menand and Tathe Lorat, are greatly renowned in the legion and being related to them saw high expectations settled onto Sharenas's shoulders. Her relatives are not currently with the legion. Hunn Raal and Osserc are in the vanguard and Ilgast Rend was not happy to be with them. He questions whether or not Urusander knows what Hunn Raal is doing. Osserc backs up Raal and so Ilgast drops the inquiry. Sharenas thinks Osserc is lying when he says his father knows of and approves this expedition. Sharenas thinks, "Hunn Raal is honourable. He knows what he is doing, and he knows, as do we all, that what he is doing is the right thing to do" She thinks Osserc is impulsive and has a thin skin, but Hunn Raal keeps him from making brash decisions. 3 cousins of Hunn Raal also accompanied them. Serap, Risp, and Sevegg all sleep with Hunn Raal, but their second cousins so it's not illegal. The last of their party is Kagamandra Tulas. He is forbidding and dangerous and hadn't spoken since their departure. They are heading towards the Warden outpost where Tulas's betrothed is stationed. Sharenas asserts that every woman could see that Tulas is dead inside and left his soul in the war. That he longs for death. She contemplates that once Urusander remakes the Tiste into a meritocracy, that arranged marriages will no longer be. Ironically because Tulas had given so much in defense of the Tiste he would be a prize as a husband. She pities Faror Hend and her future with this man. However she considers that Faror, just days after the betrothal, signed up with the wardens to get herself as far away as possible. Sharenas is very interested in witnessing the meeting between Tulas and Faror. She resolves to help Faror out of her predicament although it is only for her own amusement.
POV: Ilgast Rend
Ilgast does not like Hunn Raal or Osserc, thinking the former vain and arrogant and the latter nothing like his father except in appearance. Ilgast does not approve of all the debauchery that his fighting had bought for the Tiste. He thinks that Urusander has lost the plot himself. It wouldn't be long before the legion rebelled under his indifference. He would love it if Draconus was put in his place, but fears this would result in great bloodshed and does not want that. He also knows that if Hunn Raal is allowed to lead the legion in Urusander's absence, civil war was assured. "In a world of blood, everyone drowns". Ilgast is disappointed in Sharenas, thinking she would be wise enough not to fall into the wake of Hunn Raal. He feels he is in the middle of this brewing conflict being of a major house and also a cohort commander in Urusander's legion. Hunn Raal thinks he will help him convince the wardens to join his cause. However, he knows Calat Hustain will not join Hunn Raal. He is far too loyal to his own house. Ilgast remembers when Mother Dark was just a Tiste woman until she found the Gate. "Darkness was many things; most of all, it was selfish"

There is significant repetition of these numbers popping up in both Taylor and Matty's public works so I thought I would bring it up and see what you all think and if you have noticed other instances that I'm missing. Sorry in advanced for this being long, but there is a lot.
Let's start with the most well-known one: 13

• I think that even casual fans know that Taylor considers 13 her lucky number. Her birthday is 12/13/1989. She's had some significant milestones in her career surrounding the number 13 and she famously wrote 13 in marker on her hand during the Fearless era. She continues to reference this number in track listings - even TTPD is 31 tracks, so 13 transposed.
• the poem Stevie Nicks wrote for TTPD has two dates written on it: Aug 13, 2023 and Sept 13th 8:05pm. Obviously the 13th in both dates is interesting but if you start adding things up you will see these dates are very significant. The 8:05 will give you 8+5=13. There is more to these dates as well.
• In numerology, we often add numbers together to get a single digit. 1+3 = 4.

8's - The public announcement of Taylor and Matty's relationship came on 5/3/2023. 5+3 = 8...8 is the infinity symbol. - In the Eras Tour, the stage roomba makes an infinity sign during Down Bad. - In numerology, 8 also rules the planet Saturn. This brings to mind "love you to the moon and Saturn" but also, Taylor wears a Vivienne Westwood choker during her performance of But Daddy I Love Him (she has one in black and one in white), with the symbol of Saturn topped by a cross that looks very reminiscent of a king chesspiece: https://www.harrods.com/en-us/shopping/agate-crystal-messaline-choker-22340482?gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjwxqayBhDFARIsAANWRnRG1PyYR_3UcHl3igFeRHsyBkMHMWPgAv6-vIx01S9r3lBHNEvlwg0aAqz4EALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds - 4 is obviously half of 8 - 8+9 = 17 and 7+1 = 8 (as in 1989) - 2024 is said to be a year of 8's, because 2+2+4 = 8. There is other symbolism associated with this number but this post is already super long.
4's & 2's - The number 4 has been showing up a lot recently. Matty flashed the number 4 to the camera during a set while they were dating (couldn't find the video but if someone finds it, I will edit to add it). - Taylor has famously been flashing peace signs and even put a statue of a peace sign in her TTPD exhibit at The Grove. Thought to be an easter egg for the double album but she continued doing it after the albums release. - Obviously, 2 + 2 = 4. But 4 can also be broken down into two pairs of 1's. Twin flame numbers are 1111 (so 4), and 2222 (so 8) respectively. - Taylor & Matty are both fire signs. Twin flames are often described as mirroring each other.
3's - Graphically, a 3 is half of 8 (especially in certain fonts). - In ATPOIAM, episode 2, entitled Fame (, https://youtu.be/44ezfnnRE0k?si=YcLcKnJrPHWY-Yyc) Matty stuffs himself into a suitcase (a story long told about Taylor was that she stuffed herself in a suitcase to escaped the hordes of paparazzi and fans when leaving her apartment). The suitcase has the number 3 on it and the elevator goes to the 3rd floor (despite the next shot being on them outside of The Bowery hotel). I've stayed at the Bowery, the 3rd floor is not how you get outside, lol. - TaylorNation put out a promo video that was a mash up of 1989 era images, it featured a vault and it also featured a clip from the Bejeweled music video (which has other interesting references to things happening right now), but Taylor was pressing the button for the 3rd floor (not in the original video). Everyone thought this indicated a big surprise coming on 5/3/2024 (2 weeks after the TTPD release). Much clowning ensued, nothing happened...except Matty posted a cover of his song "All I Need To Hear" to his IG. - Bejeweled MV was released on 10/25/2022...10+25 = 53 and 5+3 = 8 OR 1 + 2 + 5 = 8. 222 is an angel number related to soul mates.
I'm sure that I didn't even write out half of the things I've noticed because this post is getting unweildy but if there are other numerology nerds and people who have noticed this repetition, please add your observations!
Edit to add: Matty's birthday! 04/08/1989 so 4's and 8's abound!

You dare not use the "P Word."
P_G draws all the looneys out; the type of crazy person that will say anything to derail the conversation; the type of hand wringing that makes it obvious there is a cover up going on.
David Seaman has alerts set up so that he is ready to respond to any P_G post within moments, to insert disinformation about James Alefantis being a Rothschild and intentionally, always, forgetting the fact that "I've never had an affair before" is the end of an email thread that describes providing three young girls for entertainment.
The P_G terrifies shills and it terrifies elites such that they spent billions trying to bury the story and make it even seem dangerous to talk about. The over-the-top suppressive response was what drew a lot of people's attention.
On Reddit, you can see the censorship at work; the most reasonable answer, awarded "Reddit Gold" is deleted.
https://i.imgur.com/teOOQPI.png
rareddit allows one to see what Reddit has deleted. In this case, we see that Reuters set of a "strawman argument" about a basement, while ignoring the real focus; the convicted pedophiles; the satanic imagery; the corruption. Reuters is a corrupt mouthpiece of the elite.
https://i.imgur.com/HZ2S8lF.png
Reuters recycled an old trope from another child sex story in Britain, "There is no basement, so there is no child abuse." The problem is that Reuters and James Alefantis lied to you. Why would they lie about a basement?
https://i.imgur.com/3Vsgpbz.jpg
Ben Swann did a 5 minute run down, which is the best introduction to the issue:
Here is the video:
https://gvid.tv/v/XzjlMh
Here is a screenshot of the opening:
https://i.imgur.com/U6oQa28.png
But notice he says, in regards to John Podesta's emails "none mention child sex trafficking".
There is literally a file called "Italy Child Sex." There is the hot tub email. Ben Swann does a pretty good job of balancing what he is and isn't allowed to say, but his summary leaves a lot to be desired.
https://i.imgur.com/o3Tyt1e.png
He does mention the "code words." "Cheese pizza" has been used as an alternative way of referring to "child porn" on the Internet, for years. 4chan even organically invented a way to deal with "cheese pizza" threads, by inserting pictures of spider man to fill the threads to limit.
"Dr. Pizza", a journalist with Ars Technica, staunchly denied Pizzagate was real, but was then caught as being a pedophile. Dojo Pizzeria was tied to an arrest. "The Pizza Connection Trial" involved using pizzerias for laundering money from drugs and human trafficking. There are plenty of red flags.
https://i.imgur.com/zBygdzo.png
Megyn Kelly did the most unjournalistic interview, possible, of James Alefantis in order to help cover up the crimes involved. She leaves out the blackmail case, Laura Silsby, the pedo musicians (Sex Stains, Majestic Ape), the satanic imagery on Alefantis' Instagram, the babies, drugs and money on Instagram, and on and on. Megyn Kelly is not just the dumbest reporter, there is, she is intentionally blind to the obvious.
https://i.imgur.com/IeLc8Rd.png
It is worth noting that Alefantis allowed a camera into the pizzeria to show a bullet hole in the computer, claiming that it went through the door first... but there is no bullet hole in the door.
https://i.imgur.com/orQNaSY.png
Megyn Kelly expresses horror, sympathy over Pizzagate in first interview with Comet Ping Pong owner
https://archive.ph/mC7q7
A fake media narrative was set up that discussing this topic was dangerous, when they staged a scene where son of an FBI agent "show up" Comet Ping Pong. A "False Flag" shooting.
https://i.imgur.com/7GN1Mzv.png
The lie was obvious. Why would a "P_G Researcher" shoot a computer that supposedly housed all the evidence?
https://i.imgur.com/qeX1oVG.jpg
Despite the suppression and spin of the story, it continued to gather steam on the Internet, resulting in entire communities being banned; tens of thousands of people blocked from viewing any content.
Before Reddit completely banned P_G subreddit, this was one of the last posts (which was deleted along with everything else.)
https://i.imgur.com/DKJkdQJ.png
Given all of the corruption and cover ups we know about, it is no surprise that P_G has been reduced to nothing more than a footnote in conspiracy forums. But, when there are new developments, thousands of people take notice, though they no longer discuss it, from fear of being banned.
The last corners of the Internet where people were allowed to discuss, were heavily shilled and monitored by SITE Intelligence Group (Mossad cut out that makes fake threat reports) and their allies, so that they could be labeled "extremists."
Even in those dark corners of the Internet, the issues were still being pushed and still causing some progress to be made; if nothing else, then they at least continued raising awareness.
https://i.imgur.com/sIjplTL.png
Project FLICKER
https://i.imgur.com/5LthZW1.png
Sodomy, bribery: The case against Terry Bean
https://archive.ph/n0UNJ
Ed Buck Sentenced to 30 Years in Federal Prison for Providing Methamphetamine to Two Victims Who Suffered Fatal Overdoses
https://archive.ph/70944
Adam Schiff and a Writer for "Lucifer"
https://i.imgur.com/oxPCj0Z.png
Adam Schiff. Ed Buck. Ted Lieu.
https://i.imgur.com/OXDXY9Q.png
P_G did not pop out of thin air. Not only was pizza already in wide use as a code word, John Podesta already had a reputation for being involved in blackmail rings.
https://i.imgur.com/s6P9uJF.png
Comet P1ng P0ng already had a reputation of documenting wild parties. Nevermind, whether or not, that could be Hillary and Huma on a ping pong table; why would there even be two women dressed to look like Hillary and Huma on a ping pong table? And why would that be recorded and then rebroadcast at Comet?
https://i.imgur.com/8FRaQAb.png
Notice the Pentagram on the Pizza, on the poster in the girl of the room who made the video of "Sex Stains" at Comet.
https://i.imgur.com/uEgcYJP.jpg
Here is her family. Draw whatever conclusions you like.
https://archive.ph/WA4lM
The research continued, but the astroturfing stuck to the same tired arguments that were now, officially, debunked.
https://i.imgur.com/pGuTcie.jpg
P_G drew so many people not because of a basement, or a specific allegation; people were drawn in because it pulled together so many issues under one umbrella, resulting in a series of cascading epiphanies that was neurologically rewarding researchers.
https://i.imgur.com/1NLY4de.png
It is now deleted, but my recollection of when P_G "broke" was on the now banned "The Donald" subreddit, when, along with the realization that John Podesta and James Alefantis were connected in a number of ways (David Brock even claimed they were dating in a video interview), the "FBIAnon" post about Hillary Clinton being involved in human trafficking, the connection with Marina Abramovic and "Spirit Cooking", and the "Edible Schoolyard"... the question emerged organically...
https://i.imgur.com/j1vhVmI.png
"Are these people joking about eating kids?"
https://i.imgur.com/udXqU5T.png
This is what the media and government was really trying to hide. Whether it was true or not, people asking the question is enough to destroy nearly every single career politician, CEO and news outlet that helped cover it up; as well it should.
https://i.imgur.com/BjVwBKr.png
All of the other corruption is bad enough, but these people are practically bragging about it on social media.
https://i.imgur.com/EXBPYZa.png
In The Secret Teachings of All Ages, we are introduced to a number of ancient rituals that date back prior to the written word. One of these rituals was to be buried alive. One might say a sensory deprivation tank is the modern version, but we keep seeing child sized coffins in the social media of this group of people.
https://i.imgur.com/xHh29a7.png
"Marina" was who Hillary Clinton was printing classified material for. Here is Marina Abramovic with John of God.
https://i.imgur.com/Q3L7A0r.png
Marina with boy.
https://i.imgur.com/7PFEISA.png
Marina with girl.
https://i.imgur.com/Mu0mhYr.png
People have every right to question what is going on with these images.
https://i.imgur.com/uzRNGCj.png
Note: Tamara Luzzatto is not actually their grandmother. But, she is in Sydney Blumenthal’s contacts, along with half of DC. The other half? Have her husband in their contact list.
https://i.imgur.com/HiVEmyI.png
Marina Abramovic, Marco Brambilla, Jeff Dupre
https://i.imgur.com/utVX6tg.png
Marina's "Art".
https://i.imgur.com/CqRsMDZ.png
More "Art".
https://i.imgur.com/EGq6cag.png
A cannibalism reference?
https://i.imgur.com/7tcDgUE.png
Marina and Rothschild.
https://i.imgur.com/jvZ7XTW.png
Marina and Dr. Oz?
https://i.imgur.com/aFM9ayl.png
Similar to the Finders ritual?
https://i.imgur.com/PpSmLBH.png
Many of the researchers on the Internet were correct and their research was borne out with the arrest of Epstein, Maxwell, Nygard, Brunel and others.
Bill Clinton denied, but he lied.
https://i.imgur.com/i2uInFa.jpg
Nobody was yet talking about Maxwell and Epstein stealing babies.
https://i.imgur.com/hJP7I5W.png
The Finders files were not yet public in October of 2016.
This story, though guessed at by P_G researchers, was also borne out.
Secret CIA Files Say Staffers Committed Sex Crimes Involving Children
https://archive.ph/L6C9F
CNN Producers were not yet arrested for trying to build their own sex slave networks.
https://archive.ph/3n11T
Another former CNN producer under investigation for child sex crimes
https://archive.ph/c13rY
Comey had not been exposed, yet, in October of 2016, of ordering a cover up of P_G. The IG report with emails from Comey's personal account had not been released, yet.
"A Serious Woman*
https://i.imgur.com/x9sj7cB.png
Coleman Notes:
https://i.imgur.com/KNwKJRT.png
The Anthony Weiner Laptop:
https://i.imgur.com/AyvYFUf.png
Brett Blomme, a juvenile court judge, had not yet been arrested, where he and his husband were sexually abusing their adopted children and uploading the recordings of it to Kik, gave out kids, using the legal system, to his pedo friends.
https://i.imgur.com/fzO0K70.png
Adam Schiff and Ed Buck are both into young black men.
https://i.imgur.com/oxPCj0Z.png Epstein Didn't Kill Himself. But, someone went to a lot of trouble making a fake video to try and convince us he did.
https://i.imgur.com/1aK08wN.png
All of the evidence disappeared.
https://i.imgur.com/b661F86.jpg
"Minimum Security" Maxwell's Customers Are Still Free.
https://i.imgur.com/NokPzFZ.png
A Mossad blackmail ring was, more or less, operating out in the open and anyone who complained about it was treated like they were crazy. This went on for decades, and, then, it turns out everyone who was complaining was, not only right, but that it was worse than anyone was willing to let on.
https://i.imgur.com/Fr11sR5.jpg
Former Israeli Intel Official Claims Jeffrey Epstein, Ghislaine Maxwell Worked for Israel
https://archive.ph/Sja88
Former Spy Details Israel’s Main Motive Behind Epstein’s Sexual Blackmail Operation
https://archive.ph/IeBgO
Epstein's blackmail ring was never the only game in town.
Jean-Luc Brunel: Epstein associate found dead in Paris prison cell
https://archive.ph/2R41A
Fashion Mogul Set to Face Sex-Trafficking Charges in U.S.
https://archive.ph/nMs3v
This all happened AFTER Reuters insisted that P_G was fake.
Even prior to October of 2016, there was already a great deal of public information that should have been very concerning. There was plenty of reason to have legitimate concerns about Comet P1ng P0ng when some weird information started to come out.
Before Comet P1ng P0ng made the spotlight, most people were not aware of information that was already available.
Jeffrey Epstein was accused of sex trafficking young girls on his mysterious private island. Over 40 years ago, a different millionaire escaped justice in a stunningly similar case.
https://archive.ph/8ivRh
Ghislaine Maxwell's father was an Israeli spy and she almost certainly inherited his blackmail operation. Robert Maxwell was also involved in text books for the US educational system.
*The “Anti-Extremism” Think Tank Started by Sons of Israeli Superspy Robert Maxwell *
https://archive.ph/lCvQ6
Mega Group, Maxwells and Mossad: The Spy Story at the Heart of the Jeffrey Epstein Scandal
https://archive.ph/A6dsG
Roy Cohn was another blackmail ring operator and mentor of Donald Trump.
https://i.imgur.com/Pnly1CT.png
The Hellfire Club
https://archive.ph/LrXni
When James Jameson Bought A Girl Just To Watch Her Be Eaten By Cannibals
https://archive.ph/3YT1d
You will be cooked into a kebap if you are too uppity about it and the police will do nothing.
https://i.imgur.com/X7kdBG4.png
Clinton's faith healer, Oprah's friend, John of God, with a baby farm and in jail for sexually abusing hundreds of women. The Chicago Ripper Crew. The Franklin Scandal. UN Child Sex Abuse. None of this stuff is new.
https://i.imgur.com/cvkO8Ix.jpg
DynCorp
https://i.imgur.com/cMndyxc.png
Bacha Bazi
https://i.imgur.com/gaNSXaH.png
Cover Ups.
https://i.imgur.com/a1fAvlo.png
More cover ups.
https://i.imgur.com/fSir93g.png
And more cover ups.
https://i.imgur.com/hlV5aAe.png
And more cover ups.
https://i.imgur.com/FyzLh0e.png
And more cover ups.
https://archive.ph/sAu38
How many pedophiles are the Clintons tied to? I've lost count.
https://i.imgur.com/dcXvCNm.jpg
James Alefantis and David Brock
https://i.imgur.com/sxTSS5p.png
Lawsuit of David Brock and James Alefantis
https://i.imgur.com/lHFkcNy.png
Media Matters for America
https://i.imgur.com/oxE9aPs.png
Exclusive Access to money laundering through art.
https://i.imgur.com/Gl1ds8y.png
Friends with Police
https://i.imgur.com/aYc1Xuq.png
Heather Podesta on the Board.
https://i.imgur.com/y01Onag.png
But P_G was more than just about research into what was going on politically, or into James Alefantis obvious satanic proclivities and his obvious attraction to children. What was revealed was a dark nexus of media, politics and these weirdo cultists.
There was a widespread epiphany of a great many people that this degeneracy was being intentionally pushed by people who were occultists and wanted everyone else wrapped up in their dark religion. And when we said, "No", they collectively lost their minds.
It should also being concerning that Kamala Harris was tied to Comet, as well, and, seemingly, a top choice for John Podesta to run for office. Considering her ties to fake police...
https://i.imgur.com/vgai2ns.png
In Your Own Homes It is becoming increasingly more difficult to resist these forces from coming into your own home; particularly if you have children.
The pedophiles reading to kids in drag is nothing new to anyone.
Drag Queen Story Hour
https://i.imgur.com/1vg4oCF.png
Alberto Garza
https://i.imgur.com/HjE2JQg.png
William Dees
https://i.imgur.com/7MPhRV0.png
Sasha Sota
https://i.imgur.com/VgQZW8n.png
The bottom line is that the media, the disgusting shills on the Internet, the FBI and many other groups are involved in covering up these crimes because their political agendas demand it.
https://i.redd.it/odn6da1goud91.png
https://i.redd.it/kkqtau7vzec91.png
https://i.redd.it/wna38dwq9mb91.jpg
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Hello, everyone was helpful last time and was able to obtain a lot of information before on my grandmother's side. I'm still researching my family, but I am now on my grandfather's side. DISCLAIMER: I am African American and I have already found slavery, and I know it is very hard to find information about them.
I need help on:
March Cook, was born in 1810 in North Carolina and died in March 1880. He was a slave and married Aggie Cook who was born in 1820. A few trees, including mine, state that March's father was a white male (slave owner) named Jones Cook but the woman he is married to was also white. So, that is where information gets messy. If you find any information about March's real parents who are Black then that would be great. For Aggie, I know it will be very difficult. I was told there were a lot of Cooks who are white and that is also okay, I'm just trying to find out who are the slave's parents.
March Cook had a son named Samuel Cook, and Samuel married Amelia Miller Bell. I need help with Amelia's parents. Her mother's name is Winnie Anctom, who I think was a slave. Amelia's birthday is 1865 in Georgia and she died in 1931 in Detroit.
Any other siblings, aliases, and other dates would be greatly appreciated if found.
If it helps, I did the DNA test and I'm 44% Nigerian.
My tree will come up on Ancestry if you search these names, another one will come up as well and the names are the same. Thank you.

That poems so much worth as there ain’t much shit to talk about except the volta in the poem after a black mountain and a dude glittering idly in a sexualised boat