Mary's perspective
So I'm tied to a fucking tree, though at least I'm in the shade. Hooded, panel gagged, wrapped in a white sleep sack, secured with rope. My ass, tits, and pussy exposed. Almost directly beneath my hanging boobs, two of Queen Of Mean's most junior Dommes play Spades on a fold out card table, ignoring me for the moment. Not that I'm complaining.
The filming for the episode where Saarya Rahul's clone is discovered by the Perseverance Co. has started. Yeah, I learned that bitch Lara Gupta is coming back, before I knew why.
I was actually mummified and trapped in the bondage frame on the Amazonian Ship's bridge. We're not filming a scene, QOM's crew just found it a convenient place to strap me into when they're busy and want to make sure their lowest slave stays out from underfoot. Just like in the ready room, I'm supposed to have a domme watch me all the time for my safety.
Of course, Daci is in charge of drawing up the rotation, and she assigns the youngest and most immature of Queen Of Mean's crew to watch me. No big surprise, sometimes they go to screw off with their friends, leaving me trapped alone on the set. A silent mummy with her lady parts hanging out, and her wide, desperate eyes tracking back and forth.
That's what happened the day I was reacquainted with Lara. I had been enjoying the peace and quiet of the set, I actually enjoyed not being tormented by one of QOM's sadistic Junior Dommes. Then I heard steps and laughing voices, coming from the sets back passageway. I braced myself from some sadistic cruelty from my Mistress Daci and her evil minions.
Instead I heard Mistress Daci say "You want to know where Girl Mary is, Miss Nora and I want to surprise you. Surprise, Miss Lara, here she is!" I heard an audible gasp that had to be Lara Gupta. "That's Mar-".
I hear Mistress Nora's girlish chuckle. "You said you read the release material, Lara, this is Girl Mary being her new super submissive self!" Both her and Mistress Daci giggle.
The three women walk around to regard my mummified ass from the front. To the right Mistress Daci, in her black Amazonian pilot flight suit, with red insignia and badges. She grins at me with her usual sadistic delight.
In the center Lara Rajaneesh Gupta in the flesh. I'm surprised she's not wearing the tight bootie shorts and unicorn T-shirt. She is wearing a loose fitting black T-Shirt saying "Want To Impress This Desi Girl? Whip Me Up Some Curry!" And what looks like faded store bought Levis. Most striking is her eyes. Last time her eyes were shifty and sneaky. Now they're warm and open, she actually looks saddened by my plight, and embarrassed for me.
I don't have much time to process that when I hear Mistress Nora speak. My eyes automatically track to my slender former student and current Domme. She's wearing her especially low cut Stellar Compact Navy blue jumpsuit with Commanders rank tabs.
"Girl Mary, why are you contaminating these two fine free ladies with your scummy slave gaze? Eyes down now!" Realizing my mistake, too late, my eyes dropped to the deck. I hear Daci giggle at my plight.
"Mistress Daci, why isn't there a domme to watch this slave and stop behavior like this? This is lax for such a professional crew as yours." Daci seems more serious when she says. "Miss Nora, I apologize, I fix it now." A moment later I hear her chewing ass, presumably on her phone, of the domme she assigned to watch me. I take no pleasure then that, I know the little bitch is going to take out Daci's butt chewing on my sorry slave hide.
"Miss Nora, Miss Lara, I apologize, the domme assigned to watch this subbie is on her way back here. She will be appropriately disciplined for not watching this slave." Miss Nora says "Thank you, Daci." Lara remains silent.
I hear footsteps running down the passage in a rush. Daci orders the junior domme to halt in the entrance, and unleashes another blistering tirade on her. Then she tells her to remain in place until her betters leave.
Nora says "Daci, Lara, lets forget this unpleasantness, I ordered us some curry from Miss Connor's favorite Thai Bistro! She's going to have lunch with Slave Sarah and Slave Constance at her living unit. Layla is going out to eat with a visiting uncle. We have the Ready Room to ourselves, we can eat and chat there."
Lara and Daci agree that sounds good and I hear the three ladies receding steps. Then I hear my designated Domme "Miss High and Mighty barks orders and eats with the cute little bunnies, while I have to watch your stupid ass! But that's okay...I can still get my own back!"
I feel the first stinging line of fire on my behind from her whip. Punishing my slave ass unfairly for her screw up...
A day later, I'm sandwiched between Nora on my right and Layla on my left. I'm naked, hooded, and panel gagged with my arms bindered behind my back. My nipple clamps chained to the desk, my clit leash anchored to the deck.
We're in the classroom where Constance and I were first indoc'd into QOM's crew's way of doing things. Guess I'm not even good enough to be in the ready room anymore. At least for script readings, Daci, for whom English is obviously not her first language, is absent. Layla and Nora can get really rough, but even together they're not as mean as that fucking Romanian bitch.
Today I focus, and obey their directions, keeping my gloomy slave feelings inside. My former protege and the Hispanic girl are surprisingly calm as they guide me through my part of the script.

 Opening Scene 

A mummified, helpless girl secured to a tree. Only her eyes, tits and pussy visible in her slave wrappings. The camera pulls back with her still centered. She's surrounded by a hellscape of burnt out vehicles, scorched earth, and blackened trees.
A robotic AI Voice gives a briefing:
AI briefer: At 0800 we spotted a hostage at the forward observer point guiding artillery pinning down the 6th Stellar Compact Marines Battalion. Obviously female, her identity remains unknown, although she might be one of the MIA Orbit Guard members from when this planet was initially assaulted by a combined Amazonian N'Docc" force.
This tactic was first noted when we were mopping up the surviving ground forces after the retaking of the Botany Bay colony. A captive is secured at a critical strategic point, to buy them time to do the most damage to Stellar Compact forces and slip away. They know we will eventually sacrifice the hostage, if we feel that's necessary. But they know our doctrine, that we have to do a cost benefit analysis and try to save the hostage if we can. They count on this to do the maximum damage as they retreat, if they can't turn the battle to their favor.
Unfortunately, a cost benefit analysis determined this unknown hostage could not be saved without unacceptable losses to the 6th Marines, and possibly jeopardizing the ground campaign on this world. At 0956, the determination was made to terminate the forward observer post with extreme prejudice.
A Plasma Mortar Smart Round was keyed to the coordinates and launched. ( A Holo Data link picture appears, showing the mortar in relation to the forward observer spot. A graphic represents the round launched, and a line with mathematical calculations represents its trajectory).
(The picture shifts back to the restrained slavegirl. You see shifty scrambling in the background) It appears all hostiles manning the outpost detected the launch and escaped without discernible casualties. (The hostage isn't so lucky, her desperate eyes track the flaming football descending on her position. She mmmphs and wiggles, her big breasts swaying. A moment later, in an Orange red flash she is incinerated, a death devoid of dignity bestowed on so many courageous Stellar Compact female soldiers before her).
(The view shifts with no further commentary, which would be superfluous. We see Commander Gail to the left of a large viewscreen, Rear Admiral Mendez to the right. Gail puts her head in her hands and takes a moment to gather herself.)
Mendez: Commander-Nora, I'm sorry. I know that must be hard, especially after what happened to Captain Rommie. But I need you to understand what's going on down there. There are still fierce pockets of resistance. Stellar Compact Intelligence has confirmed that the Amazonians want to take you alive and make you a Whipping Girl, whomever does it will attain greater honor than even Commander Sappho capturing poor Rommie. Is a morale tour really worth it?
Gail (Raises her head, visibly pulls together) I know the risks, but understand why you showed that to me. I don't want to die at all, especially not like that. But war entails risks. I knew that when I pounded my fist on that table, and yelled at a conclave Admirals, that I risked Dismissal or even Court Martial. I know it now, and think it's important enough to do.
Mendez: It's not just you. The media has dubbed you the "Heroine Of Botany Bay" and "The Savioress Of The Stellar Compact" you being killed, or slowly tortured as a Whipping Girl, could devastate our morale at a critical juncture, even turn the tide of the war against us again!
(Mendez takes a deep breath, pauses)
Don't get me wrong, I care about your well being Commander. I lost one of the finest female command Officers I knew on my watch. If I lost another-I don't know if I could forgive-(The normally poised Admiral casts her head down and seems to be wiping away tears).
(Nora reaches out to gently touch the Admiral's right shoulder with her left hand. Unsolicited contact with a Flag officer in peacetime can be a serious offence, depending on circumstances. In wartime, it can be a Capitol one. The Admiral's Marine Guard starts to move in on the impertinent commander. The Admiral pulls herself together and waves them off).
Mendez (Grabs Gail's hand with her right, clasps it in both hands) Nora, the first time I saw you, you seemed ready to jump behind the Cybo-Chief Warrant Officer ASSHO to escape from my gaze. Now you're a battle tested hero. You've come a long way baby."
Nora: Ma'am, I never wanted to be a hero. I don't FEEL like one. All I ever wanted to do was be an explorer. Also show a society on the verge of revoking women's rights, that we ARE as capable as men. But now that I am one, it's not about me, it's about us, the Stellar Compact as a whole. What kind of hero avoids risks when it comes to encouraging those who look to them as a role model?
Mendez (releases Gail's hand, looks stern again) Young woman, I could order you not to go ground side. (She gets a small, fond smile) an order you might choose not to obey. So I don't have to convene Court Martial proceedings, I give you permission. You be careful down there, Commander, or I will personally spank you like I used to do to my daughters!"
Gail (small smile) Ma'am, I have Chief Warrant Officer ASSHO protecting me-and Gabby-Staff Sergeant Perez and her Marines. I'd bet on them over a Regiment of N'Docc" any day!
Mendez (Stern and serious) Young lady, you may have to. Keep your head on a swivel. Dismissed.
(Nora salutes, the Admiral returns it, the meeting is over. Nora leaves the briefing room, her own Marine Guard falling in after her as she leaves).
I try to cover my chagrin, once again, "Boss Bitch" Miss Connor, makes me look pathetic and my Mistress looks awesome with her writing. I wish I'd never asked Dave to let me start this project! I'm still strapped to this tree, sweltering, with my lady parts exposed for all to see.
Lara's perspective
So "Boss Bitch" asked to meet me at 08:30 at the Ready room for a script meeting about my character. With my security badge, I could walk around unescorted, and I had the cypher lock combo to the ready room. Still when I came to the door ten minutes early, the red privacy light was on, I thought it polite to wait for Sheila.
The pretty half breed girl rolls up almost right on time, trademark fedora on head, coffee cup in hand. She sees the red light and frowns. She politely asks me to hold her cup and pounds the intercom button.
"Alright, bitches, I don't care if you're having a les orgy in there! You have 30 seconds to get dressed and wipe off the table, then I'm coming in!" She takes the coffee cup back and times it on her phone. When time's up, she punched in the combo and stormed in, with me close behind.
Her assertion of them having an orgy isn't far off. Constance is naked, kneeling and facing a chair, her arms secured with padded zip ties to each arm of the chair, panel gagged. Sarah is also naked, behind Constance, standing and with arms bindered behind her, though not muzzled. She is proudly standing facing us, smiling, her fine Asian assets on display.
I take a quick glance at Nora, in her blue jumpsuit, sitting across the table with a coffee cup in hand. Her proud smile shows how far her exotic subbie has come. Sarah knew without being told she had to proudly "present" to Sheila and I, because she was nude. I look back at the two naked girls.
Layla is on the other side of the chair from Constance in her Stellar Compact Marine Uniform, smiling like a Cheshire cat.
Our fearless leader fixes the two Dommes and the Alpha Slave with a "Start talking, ladies" gaze. Nora asks "Sarah, would you like to explain to Miss Connor what we're doing?" Sarah eagerly replies "Yes, Mistress Nora!"
The Asian girl turns to face Sheila earnestly. "We're helping Constance get in touch with her submissive and sapphic desires. I was rubbing my nipples on her back and whispering in her ear, while Mistress Layla reassured her and calmed her. This was an idea the four of us came up with together, and Constance has a safe signal, three mmmphs, if it gets too intense for her."
Sheila's attention turns from the happy, nude former Navy girl to the other sub. "Constance are you ok, and alright with all this?" Constance mmmphs "Yes, Miss Connor." She doesn't sound under duress, this is the most relaxed I've seen her.
Sheila nods. "Girls, make sure you clean up any messes you make, and no going down on each other on the table, remember we eat there. Carry on." Three clear, and one mmmphed "Yes, Miss Connor."
Sheila nods. "Lara and I will be in my office, don't hesitate to knock if you need me." Boss Bitch turns to her office and I move to follow.
"Miss Connor, Lara wait ." Nora is looking at us with a bold, devilish glint in her eye. Where is that mousy little waif I met the first time? "We're ahead of the shooting schedule, we have time, why don't you and Lara join us? Four Dommes, two subs, why not have a little fun, girls?"
Then the gleam in her eyes got even more wicked. "If one or both of you want to sub for awhile, relinquish some of your responsibility? Two hot dommes, four exotic subs, it would challenge Layla's and I's Mistress skills, and we'd all enjoy a big shower of girl come." Nora and Layla exchange looks like they're ready, even eager for that challenge.
Sheila looks intrigued, hell I'm a little intrigued and horny myself, despite what happened last time. But Sheila firmly asserts "Tempting, my little horndogs, but we're ahead because I put business first, my horny little bitches. Lara and I have a lot to do if we want to stay on schedule, so we'll have to pass. Have fun girls." Layla, Nora and Sarah look disappointed, but nod, they know who's in charge.
When Mary, Nora and Sarah "topped" me last time, Shelia helped them Domme me, of course, but never took off her clothing. Does she ever cut loose, get naked with her girls when they get really wild? If Sheila and I had a private session, who would top, and who would bottom? My pussy getting wet, I send those thoughts to horny jail. Sheila's right, we have priorities, not just the show but saving Sandy.
I wait for Sheila to sit, then politely take my seat. With her usual lack of preamble, Boss Bitch shoves a shooting script for my first new episode across her desk at me. I pick it up and page through it.
Basically, Commander Gail does a morale tour of the violently liberated colony world Persephone. The Stellar Compact has the upper hand, the Alliance fleet being driven out of the system. Fierce pockets of N'Docc" and Amazonian Warriors fight on ground side, they'd rather fight to the last cat and woman than surrender.
The Mobile Medical units are overwhelmed with military casualties, so liberated civilian casualties languish. The Red Cross, the Red Crescent and other medical NGO's are allowed on world to pick up the slack. The problem is some of them feel obligated to treat N'Docc" and Amazonian wounded. This causes sometimes enraged reactions among a recently liberated civilian population. Violent acts against aid workers who treat the enemy are common. Military authority usually looks the other way if a victim is the "enemy" or someone known to treat them. Most incidents are blamed on "Insurgents" even when they're obviously not the culprit.
During a tour of a hovel city, Gail, Assho, and their Marine Guard hear screaming. They head down a shadowy alley, and see several men trying to rape a dark skinned woman clad only in a tattered man's work shirt, the rest of her torn clothes strewn around the alleyway.
Gail yells at them to stop, and the woman takes the opportunity to flee her rapists and run to Gail, ASSHO, and their Marine Guard; cowering behind ASSHO. A moment of shock from Gail, when she sees the woman is a dead ringer for her mentor LCDR Saarya Rahul, but she composes herself.
Gail: What are you men doing to this poor woman? Hasn't the enemy done enough, bastards like you need to finish their work?
Scumbag 1: Begging pardon, miss, but this little tart is giving aid and comfort to the enemy, we's just seeing if she got some fur her own, miss.
Gail(looking disgusted) Really? You're a sick freak.
(She's about to say more when a local militia patrol shows up. They ignore the Scumbag and his two minions focusing on the girl hiding behind ASSHO).
Patrol Leader: Causing a ruckus again, you little tease? We let you off easy even though you were the Domina's body servant. You still can't keep from making difficulties.I'm taking you to lock up!
(Gail clears her throat pointedly)
Patrol Leader (Really looking at her, taken aback) Oh, sorry Commander, that this little twitch got you caught up in her troubles. If you'll just hand her over...
Gail: (looking for insignia, seeing faded Sergeant stripes) Sergeant, you will arrest these three men and take them to your lock up immediately, charge them with attempted rape!"
Patrol leader (looking shocked) Ma'am you can't be serious....
Gail: Take them into custody now, or we will. And I'll report you to the planetary Provost Marshall!
Patrol Leader (Looking angry) Aye, Ma'am! (To the scumbags) C'mon boys. (The patrol surrounds the three men but doesn't cuff them. The patrol laughs and jokes with the scum as they saunter away).
(Gail looks disgusted, but then turns to help ASSHO tend to the sobbing girl who is a double of her mentor).
I look up. "Your usual top notch work, Sheila, Ari will believe we're not just phoning it in. Trust me."
Sheila looks at me soberly "I do. Now let's start talking about freeing my sister....
I nod. "So my initial plan is to simply purchase her...

My dad and mom split up when i was a baby and i spent majority of my childhood thinking my moms boyfriend was my dad. I didnt meet my biological dad formally until i was 7-8.
People said he was my dad but i was confused because i already had a “dad” at home, i kinda just went with it but i had no idea who he really was until my grandma and him were driving me back home and i called my moms boyfriend “dad”. He was justifiably hurt but he pointed his anger at me and pushed me away further.
My grandma just wanted the best for me and allowed him around atleast a good dozen of times so we could have some type of relationship but every time would end up feeling like i was back home with my mom and her boyfriend. He would sob. Beg me to talk to him. To see him. To move in with him. I remember the pain in his eyes i cannot ever imagine putting a child through those emotions and every single time he isolated me to do that.
I barely knew him when he tried to convince me to move in the first time, he told me i could have my own room, my own dog, paint my walls, ect. It makes me sick to my stomach now looking back realizing how many times he has moved and lost his houses since then. What situations would i be put in if i was a little more desperate for a relationship with him?
Everytime i saw him he had a new girlfriend. The new girl he brought was always my “new mom” and whatever kids she brought with her were my “new siblings”.
The only somewhat good memory i have with him is when he brought me fishing in the late afternoon, we had fun and talked but if my memory is correct we ended up walking empty streets to find a bar but i dont remember going in because it was either well past alcohol time or they didnt allow child in that late.
But alas, he died this morning. He was found in his house alone wearing his favorite football jersey.
Yknow, i really didnt think i would feel much. I claimed i lost feelings for him to many people but i guess thinking about it, me checking occasionally if hes sent me another weird link or music video of facebook mightve meant something. Like that time i almost broke no contact because he sent me a photo of bbq on the grill.
But i have sobbed for a good amount of time today and nothing feels real. I was dancing on tables and fist pumping when my moms boyfriend died and i spent my whole life with him so i thought i had this day all figured out. Im scared to find out how he passed because i already have a feeling and i dont know how i would cope with that. The last time he sent me a link on facebook was Wednesday and it feels so weird.
If i could take one positive thing out of this, is that i can start visiting my grandma again without being in fear of seeing him. I can see my cousins and possibly build a relationship with their kids that i havent seen since they were babies. I dont blame my grandma for a single thing, she tried her best and kept him away as best as she could and she doesnt question my decision. She was my safe space away from my mom and boyfriends house and still takes care of me when i need help and ill always be grateful for her.
But thats about it, i have no idea where this is going to take me, just gonna go through the motions.

How to proceed with scorpio men
hi, I would like to ask for advice. gemini f25
Two months ago, I met a guy who is a Scorpio at my workplace, but he works for a different office. We saw each other a few times, waved at each other and I realized that we share the same passion for cars, so one day when i saw him in the lobby, i went to him with an excuse and started a conversation. We had a 20 minutes long conversation where he told me he would love to show his car during the summer when it will be ready and then I told him I can show him mine. He opened up about how he stopped racing as prices are too high, etc. so he mentioned a few things that are personal i guess, and so did i, then we both left for work.
After our conversation i didnt really see him much, he comlimented my car once in the garage and, he replied to one insta story about a car but there was no communication at all. Here cones the weird part: I was talking outside with a friend of mine and i basically caught him eavesdropping, but it was super awkward so i pretended i didnt see him. A few days later, I was talking to a guy outside our office building who is actually my brother and I saw him again peeping behind a statue checking who I’m talking to and when I turned to him he immediately left.
A few days after these encounters, it was a Friday afternoon and I was walking back to the office building to get my car and i saw him at the red light. I was trying to ignore him at first, but then I looked at his way, and he was smiling and waving at me, i smiled back and waved back. So i texted him “you really need to show me your car now🥲” i I thought this message would be like flirty but cute reflecting on what we talked about. 2 days passed by, no reply and the minute he arrived at the office on monday he texted me back saying “i hope so” “ we will look for a time that suits us” I just like his messages a few days after.
My guess, he has a girlfriend but he kind of likes me so he doesnt wanna say like oh sorry I have a girlfriend we cannot talk, but he is also not overstepping the line.
I really like him and i have no idea what to do. Please give me advice. Thank you for taking the time to read.

hi, I would like to ask for advice. gemini f25
Two months ago, I met a guy who is a Scorpio at my workplace, but he works for a different office. We saw each other a few times, waved at each other and I realized that we share the same passion for cars, so one day when i saw him in the lobby, i went to him with an excuse and started a conversation. We had a 20 minutes long conversation where he told me he would love to show his car during the summer when it will be ready and then I told him I can show him mine. He opened up about how he stopped racing as prices are too high, etc. so he mentioned a few things that are personal i guess, and so did i, then we both left for work.
After our conversation i didnt really see him much, he comlimented my car once in the garage and, he replied to one insta story about a car but there was no communication at all. Here cones the weird part: I was talking outside with a friend of mine and i basically caught him eavesdropping, but it was super awkward so i pretended i didnt see him. A few days later, I was talking to a guy outside our office building who is actually my brother and I saw him again peeping behind a statue checking who I’m talking to and when I turned to him he immediately left.
A few days after these encounters, it was a Friday afternoon and I was walking back to the office building to get my car and i saw him at the red light. I was trying to ignore him at first, but then I looked at his way, and he was smiling and waving at me, i smiled back and waved back. So i texted him “you really need to show me your car now🥲” i I thought this message would be like flirty but cute reflecting on what we talked about. 2 days passed by, no reply and the minute he arrived at the office on monday he texted me back saying “i hope so” “ we will look for a time that suits us” I just like his messages a few days after.
My guess, he has a girlfriend but he kind of likes me so he doesnt wanna say like oh sorry I have a girlfriend we cannot talk, but he is also not overstepping the line.
I really like him and i have no idea what to do. Please give me advice. Thank you for taking the time to read.

I'm 24 Trans man, ~2 years on T and ~10 months Post-top. And while I'm overall happy and satisfied with my transition and appearance, there are some things I enjoyed as a "girl" and I've been missing them lately!
The one that has been bugging me the most is clothes. Women have such cute clothes! It's pretty and expressive and vibrant, while men's clothes is all pretty flat and muted and boring. Do you have any suggestions for spicing up my wardrobe to incorporate some more colors, patterns, and/or textures? I feel like I have no idea how to dress STILL, and I don't have a father figure in my life that could guide me in the right direction. So strangers on the internet are the best I've got
Another thing is makeup! I used to loooove doing a full face with lipstick and bold eyeshadow and all, but doing it now would bring me dysphoria. I hope eventually I'm at a point in my transition where wearing makeup still allows me to feel masculine. It took me about a year on T before I painted my nails again (to avoid being misgendered) so maybe this is one of those things too.
I think both of these things really boil down to my insecurity in my body. I've gradually grown more confident and secure but I know it will take time to fully feel sure of myself. I mean it's basically relearning everything I knew and getting used to a new body and lifestyle so I try to give myself grace.
Is there anything that you guys miss? Or can you give me any suggestions? Anything is appreciated 💜

TL;DR It's a fun, novel handheld for people who want a completely unique, ultra-portable experience and don't like phone games. It comes with a fantastic community that keeps me coming back. Y’all are awesome!
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Howdy! Here's my lengthy Playdate review after my first two weeks, including some observations I don't think I've seen anyone mention yet. I hope this helps someone decide if this quirky little thing is worth it.
Why I wanted a Playdate: I'm a casual gamer. I love my Switch (Stardew, Tower Fall, A Short Hike, It Takes Two, Smash Bros, etc) and hate my Xbox (purely Rocket League). I play mostly at home because, frankly, the Switch isn't portable enough as I can't throw it in my pocket and I ain't about to carry a bag around in case I want to check on my farm. Phone games never appealed to me as I just don't enjoy touch screens for interactive entertainment, plus ads can go eat dirt. I learned about the Playdate when it was first announced, but I'm cautious of completely new devices as we live in a world of cool ideas that get abandoned (my poor Pebble). But after preorders started arriving and the developer community continued growing, I realized the Playdate's development, evolution, and relevance won't depend on one company, but a whole involved group of people who all want this thing to succeed. So, I went for it.
The physical console: My immediate thought after unboxing was, this plastic is a little... gritty? Not cheap-feeling, but I was expecting a soft-touch plastic. The Playdate surface almost felt like a very fine fingernail file, but I got used to it quickly. Everything else about the build is flawless. It's solid, easy to throw in your pocket or backpack, and I can't stop picking it up. The crank is perfectly tuned, it takes no effort to turn but stays static when you don't touch it. The crank sensor is extremely precise. And the speaker on this thing genuinely surprised me, I’d say it rivals smartphone speakers.
The OS: Super clean, concise operating system, it solely exists to get you to your games. You have your home page to scroll through your library, Settings with 0 fluff, and the Catalog app (with the best shopping mart music). One gripe about Catalog is I wish it had a simple search or just “View all” option rather than sifting through collections. Of course you can search on a computephone but I would enjoy slightly more robust navigation on the Playdate itself.
The Screen: When the lighting is right, this screen looks amazing. It’s crisp and snappy. Very reminiscent of Pebble. BUT it would still be nice to have a backlight. It isn’t papematte like a Kindle screen, it’s reflective and really weird with light angles. For example, I’ve played on my covered balcony with full sunlight around me, but the dark ceiling of my balcony made it hard to see even with sunlight all around. I had to angle the screen toward the sky to get a better reflection.
The games: I’ve only scratched the surface of what this platform has to offer, but I’ll share my early thoughts. I’ve contained my urge to buy everything at once, sticking with 1-2 Catalog/Itch games a week to give each game a fair chance. Although I love the arcade games with precise crank controls, I’m eager to see more narrative options as the Playdate has certainly opened the door for the writers who want to make their brilliant storylines interactive. * Whitewater Wipeout: While it is fun, this is oddly one of my least favorite games so far. Even after dozens of attempts, the cranking direction vs what you see on screen just doesn’t feel right. * Casual Birder: Very cute, relaxing game. Feels very Stardew-adjacent with witty dialogue and a rewarding plot. I wish the story was a bit longer, it just sorta ends. I was enjoying the journey so much that the sudden conclusion made me sad that it was over so quickly. * Crankin’s Time Travel Adventure: This is exactly the kinda game you can only get with the Playdate. The controls are tight and the audio effects are hilarious and immersive. My only gripe (which feels like I’m overlooking something) is that you can’t replay levels you’ve already completed. I want to hand the game to my friends but I don’t want to start them on the difficult levels I’m on. * Boogie Loops: This one feels a bit over my head, or perhaps I just haven’t given it a fair shot. Everyone should have their own opinion but this doesn’t feel like something that you’d buy a Playdate for. I’m sure I’ve missed something but I just haven’t found much entertainment from it.
Now for a few Catalog games. * Root Bear: Phenomenal. Games like this are largely why I wanted the Playdate. It’s quirky, unique, utilizes the crank very precisely, and has tons of replayability. $103 so far! * A Balanced Brew: Sensational. Another great example of precise cranking. The visuals are striking and the evermore-challenging stages never feel repetitive. Flawless physics. * Recommendation Dog: At first I wasn’t all that enthused, but after a couple tries this is now one of my favorites. Such a fun use of the crank and hilarious details throughout the Rolodex. * A Joke That’s Worth .99¢: I hear that song in my nightmares now. Such a silly, Souls-difficulty game. Beautifully miserable, disgustingly replayable, just a true scourge that I can’t stop playing. 0/10 but maybe 12/10 depending on if I ever hear the damn punchline.
Itch.io has endless options, here are a few notable ones. * super corporate tax evader: Fun little game, cute crank feature. But I lost interest after a few plays, it’s pretty limited in content and I feel like it’s fairly easy to get high scores once you figure it out. I hope it updates with more content and more challenging situations, because it’s a smart little game. * Binairo: This is an example of a game you can easily get on your phone, but it’s just more tangible and fun on this little black and white screen. I’ve spent a lot of time solving these deceptively simple puzzles. * Maze: Fantastic ball balance game. The accelerometer in the Playdate is astonishingly sensitive, which makes this an awesome challenge. It even works upright which is weirdly intuitive. * Memory Lane: Basic card matching memory game, but the aesthetics and simplicity are very nice. Again, more enjoyable on Playdate than a phone screen.
I’m still trying a few more but haven’t played them enough to have a full impression: Post Hero, Reel Steal, Simorgh, About Time.
I hope this is informative for someone! I’ll probably check in with a smaller update in a few more weeks or after Season 1.

Hiyo, I'm a depressed(but medicated!) person seeking platonic friendship. I love gaming first and foremost and have since I was a wee lil kid on an NES and Sega Genesis and eventually N64, though all of my gaming these days is on pc. I'm looking most for a gaming buddy who likes co-op games(I don't do pvp at all). I do have really bad anxiety and am very shy so introductions are awkward and it's a bumpy start, but I warm up soon enough! Though conversations do be hard. I'm left leaning and don't tolerate bigotry(so if your views don't align, we might not get along) I'm mostly just looking for a friend(or friends) to hang with and maybe game or stream or something.
Beyond gaming, I enjoy a tiny bit of anime(have only seen maybe a handful of shows) and old rock or video game musics and random memes and cute animol pics, nature-y type stuff, LotR and Star Wars, random comedy shows and movies and well, probably just about anything as my humor and interests are all over. At the very least I'd like to hear about yours!
PM me since I don't look at comments and don't do reddit chat, tell me a bit about yourself(so I have some idea of who I'm talking to :P), and we can share discords or something! Bonus points for night owls bc my sleep is terrible.

Hey! I'm Nush! I'm looking for someone to have really long, meaningful conversations with and do fun stuff together!
I feel like I'm emotionally in a place where I can work towards building better friendships which hopefully last forever, and I'm really excited to meet new people and share experiences with!
I understand the importance of persistent effort in maintaining a friendship and I'm more than willing to go beyond whatever is expected for people I love! I'm just trying to be the friend I needed when I was in a deep, dark place. Here's a lil information about me, if I seem interesting to you, I'd love to talk to you and know you better. :D
A lil info about me!
📏- (Make a mental avatar of me) I'm 6 feet, Indian. I have dark brown eyes, short wavy black hair with brown streaks, I'm pretty athletic in my build, broad shoulders, long legs. My aesthetic constantly oscillates between nerd and stripper.
🖋 I'm an author and a poet. I like keeping things, ideas and people immortal in my work. I'd like to think of myself as a hope collector, who likes to collect abandoned hope, repurpose it, and make it into something you would want to have in your life.
🤯 The only high class meme enthusiast. This is a consequence of being on the internet for far too long. From tacky Facebook memes to Gen Z humor, you can bet I will be gasping for air.
👟 I'm really passionate about the environment, and I'm very eco-friendly. I love guerilla gardening and being a rebel against the capitalist system. I'm always open to having a healthy discussion/debate even on things I don't agree upon.
🍮 I love cooking! I'm always looking forward to learning new cuisines! I also like to grow most of my ingredients. I'd say food is one of my love languages!
⭐ I really like anime, I've had this weird generational habit of collecting different rocks (Rockhounding), I hit the gym everyday, I try to be spiritual, and read. One of my recent obsessions has been chess! I'm also fascinated by history and art.
🏳️‍🌈 I'm bisexual and an LGBT ally! I've been in the worst depression and I've made it out. Here to give away all my love. ❤️
ʕっ•ᴥ•ʔっ

Hey! I'm Nush! I'm looking for someone to have really long, meaningful conversations with and do fun stuff together!
I feel like I'm emotionally in a place where I can work towards building better friendships which hopefully last forever, and I'm really excited to meet new people and share experiences with!
I understand the importance of persistent effort in maintaining a friendship and I'm more than willing to go beyond whatever is expected for people I love! I'm just trying to be the friend I needed when I was in a deep, dark place. Here's a lil information about me, if I seem interesting to you, I'd love to talk to you and know you better. :D
A lil info about me!
📏- (Make a mental avatar of me) I'm 6 feet, Indian. I have dark brown eyes, short wavy black hair with brown streaks, I'm pretty athletic in my build, broad shoulders, long legs. My aesthetic constantly oscillates between nerd and stripper.
🖋 I'm an author and a poet. I like keeping things, ideas and people immortal in my work. I'd like to think of myself as a hope collector, who likes to collect abandoned hope, repurpose it, and make it into something you would want to have in your life.
🤯 The only high class meme enthusiast. This is a consequence of being on the internet for far too long. From tacky Facebook memes to Gen Z humor, you can bet I will be gasping for air.
👟 I'm really passionate about the environment, and I'm very eco-friendly. I love guerilla gardening and being a rebel against the capitalist system. I'm always open to having a healthy discussion/debate even on things I don't agree upon.
🍮 I love cooking! I'm always looking forward to learning new cuisines! I also like to grow most of my ingredients. I'd say food is one of my love languages!
⭐ I really like anime, I've had this weird generational habit of collecting different rocks (Rockhounding), I hit the gym everyday, I try to be spiritual, and read. One of my recent obsessions has been chess! I'm also fascinated by history and art.
🏳️‍🌈 I'm bisexual and an LGBT ally! I've been in the worst depression and I've made it out. Here to give away all my love. ❤️
ʕっ•ᴥ•ʔっ

I have owned a game shop for 10 years now. I see neck beard types. I see leg beard types. I see incels. The whole rainbow of cringe is often in my very shop. They play their games. Stink up the joint. Above all else though they got on my ever loving nerves I swear.
I bought the shop back in 2013ish after my grandfather died. He left me some decent money, which is about all the good he ever did. Cranky old man stuck around far too long and was a drain on myself. My parents saddled me with caring for him. My only escape from that bitter old man was the game shop. I would go and play war games and yugioh. Around 2011 I was banned from the store for chronically selling yugioh cards in the shop. Something the crotchety land whale that owned the shop did not like. So he banned me. When my grandfather finally died he afforded me the opportunity to lift my ban by purchasing the shop at a high markup. I may have overpaid, but it was worth it to get back my home away from home and to ban that landwhale from his own shop.
Once I took over. I learnt that I wouldn’t be able to participate in games as much unless I wanted to hire employees. Which I did not. I don’t really understand the taxes and had no interest in paying extra to employ people. So I basically ran it all myself for a damn long time. It was fun at first. But I realized I actually hated my customers. I hated games. I hated these goblins that occupied my shop for events and game nights. That’s how you make money though. Stupid events for stupid little neckbeards.
So I am gonna tell you about some choice individuals. I like to call them The Party. Four human shaped food holes that were far too loud. When I was young, back in the 80’s dungeons and dragons wasn’t fun. It was a game to be won. I dont know what happened. Maybe it was all them critical role streamers that ruined it. At some point neck beards gravitated to dungeons and dragons as a form of fun. As a way to make jokes. They basically ruined the game. I hate that they ruined a great war game and turned it into nothing but jokes. Us older nerds get not a drop of respect as these youngins trample over our great games.
The party consisted of two manlet weirdos. Dressed in what looked to be homemade wizard robes. A tall thin man dressed in an outfit that would be seen on frank sinatra. And the loudest legbeard landwhale I have ever had the displeasure of meeting. They would come in on open play nights and occupy the back room where the warhammer gamers played. Their volume was completely unacceptable. I had asked them politely several times to keep it down. I had received several complaints from the warhammer players as well. It was not uncommon for the war gamers and The Party to start arguing. Which was always a sight to behold. 90 percent of the time I didn’t intervene hoping one of The Party might get their teeth knocked out. It never got to that point. Despite all the wishing in my heart.
Still I tolerated them for the most part. They bought plenty of snacks. Overpriced soda cans and over priced chips are good money in this line of business. Cleaning up after them was a pain. Cheeto smeared tables and chairs are not fun to clean. I remember once asking them to clean up after themselves. They just stared at me with blank dead fish eyes before talking about the hot dog man. The hotdog man being some sort of inside joke. They found it hilarious. It was some recurring npc in their campaigns that did “wacky” hijinks or something. They tried to explain it to anyone who would listen. Anytime someone else would laugh at their stupid joke I wanted to just close up shop.
Then I started fucking with them. I’d shake up cans of soda they bought. I’d “accidentally” bump into their table while moving inventory. This would cause their set up and dice to spill all over. I’d sell them microwaved dice sets “at a discount” and laugh with joy as they consistently rolled nat 1’s. I actually had quite a bit of fun coming up with new ways to inconvenience them. Damaging their favorite table, replacing the chairs at that table with uneven ones. One time I spilled a cup of hot chocolate on the one dressed like frank sinatra.
They eventually started blaming their new streak of misfortune on the hotdog man. That fucking stupid inside joke about the hotdog man had grown to encompass their real life misfortune. These beardy fucks had completely disassociated from reality apparently. It wasn’t long after this began in the shop that it spread. Any little thing that went wrong in the shop others started blaming on the hot dog man! Bad game of yugioh…hot dog man. Shit your pants? HOT DOG MAN! Dog got hit by a car! HOT DOG MAN! It permeated and spread because these little beards never shut up about their stupid inside joke.
I could not tolerate it any longer. As a game shop owner I am the god of these halls and I would not take this beardery. NAY! I didn’t clean my grandads colostomy bag for 8 years to have my castle ruined by the fucking HOT DOG MAN! No these nerds hard to go. I had to hatch a scheme to get them out of the shop.
It was actually relatively easy to come up with a scheme. I knew the fat leg beard was dating the tall “well dressed” kid. But, I also knew she was a bit of a cheater. They had many arguments about her cheating on him. Why such a beast would be able to get so many men interested in her I have no idea. But i knew she had her eyes on one of the seedier warhammer players in the store. He wasn’t a good guy, actually a bit of an alcoholic who hung around because this was all he had left. So I struck a deal, I offered him a hefty amount of figurines for his army in return for “seducing” the land whale. A task he was actually excited about.
Over the next couple weeks I watched as the alcoholic man inserted himself into The Party. I watched as he got closer to the girl, I saw the “well dressed” beard grow more and more insecure. Going outside in a huff more often. The leg beard and her boyfriend arguing loudly in front of the store a few times.Then on the third week during an open play night only the land whale leg beard appeared, crying as she clung to the alcoholic war gamer and complained about her boyfriend. The crying was only slightly less annoying than hearing about the hotdog man. I tried to tune it out by doing some stocking of new inventory for the upcoming yugioh release. I eventually noticed a distinct lack of belly aching. I looked over to the side room, and saw that the alcoholic and legbeard were actively making out on a table. Disgusted I made sure the cameras were recording in the side room.
The world was at peace again. The Party would soon be destroyed thanks to some well deployed miniatures in the right desperate losers hands. Simple as can be. Soon my store would be free of the hot dog man plague. This is why you should never mess with a wealthy man we are wealthy because we are wise. My store is one of the best in this town and it is because of my wisdom. No one else can compete with me because I am too good to be doing this.
As I stocked the cabinet with new singles I had recently bought from someone clearly desperate for drug money I found myself very pleased with myself. I sang as I organized my new acquisitions. Then sneaking a peak at the camera I noticed a distinct absence of the obese legbeard and the war gaming alcoholic. I tried to locate them by walking back there, only to hear the sounds of unholy degenerate acts in the bathroom. I found myself amazed by their lack of shame and more so how easy the land whale was. I guess it’s true what they say “fat chicks will do anything”. I contemplated breaking it up. Then I thought it might be really funny if she got pregnant and the frank sinatra wannabe had to raise a cuck baby. So I allowed it to continue. They left together sometime later.
I went ahead and did a little facebook stalking, as frank sinatra and the land whale were both on on my stores facebook page. Two days later they were broken up and the land whale was dating and apparently living with the alcoholic wargamer. Now I still have to deal with her, but the rest of The Party is distinctly absent.
I posted the video from the security cameras on the facebook page on valentines day that year and tagged the frank sinatra wannabe, deleting it after he left some angry comment under it. Just one more jab at his stupid broken heart. That’s what he deserves for being a cringe neckbeard with his stupid inside jokes.
Now the legbeard and alcoholic play wargames on open play nights at the shop and she’s much quieter. The legacy of the hotdog man died shortly after. I do now have to occasionally observe as the land whale and alcoholic wargamer swap spit on a table. I’ve had to make a sign for the bathroom door that say “please do not fuck in here” and when that didn’t work yell at the both of them. Saying something along the lines of “THIS IS NOT A MOTEL!” but even with that inconvenience, it is still preferable to those beards and their stupid inside joke. I will take cringe bathroom sex over the hot dog man any day.
I am just happy that I met my wife in Mexico. If you have money and a passport, get yourself a Mexican wife. They are much less insane than your average american woman. Also they are very grateful to be here. So that pays dividends in the end. Plus you have someone who can talk to the repair men in their native language around here. Wish I would have known she was infertile beforehand. On the brightside though no condoms. So its not all bad. There are no any beards in Mexico my friends.
If you read this ReddX thanks I’ve been a big fan of the channel for a long time and have wanted to write a story. I just haven’t had the time as I am a very busy and important man. But I can tell we’re like kindred souls. You’re gonna love reading all my installments because were bouth great men of substance and the world. It is time I aired out all these beards. So you’re welcome for contributing to your collection of stories. I truly am a generous king.
Your Best Friend
KingRodGod

I’m using a throwaway account for this just in case. Also this is very long, I tried making it shorter, sorry.
A little over three years ago I (23F) met an amazing lady at work, I’ll call her Susan (33F). She is a bit older than me but we clicked instantly. We are the best of friends and I love her to pieces.
About a year after we met she posted a photo of me online and one of her friends, we will call him Jack (30M), responded saying I was cute and asked her who I was. Jack lived in another state but Susan and Jack have known each other for a very long time. They met in High-School and are very very close.
Anyway, eventually Susan gave Jack my info and Jack and I also became really close friends. Eventually he moved to where Susan and I live and we all began hanging out all the time.
About a year ago, (a little over a year into me knowing Jack.) the three of us went on a trip together. During that trip Jack got really drunk and assaulted me the night before we were to return home. I didn’t say anything the next day because I didn’t want to ruin the trip for Susan.
Once we finally did get back home it took me about a week to fully process everything that had happened. It was a lot to handle considering how close I was with Jack. Not only that but what was harder was figuring out how to tell Susan about it. Like I said, her and Jack are very very close.
Anyway, eventually I told her what had happened and she was obviously disgusted and horrified that he would ever do that. A time or two she tried to “justify” it by saying things like how he was drunk and how he isn’t that type of guy but I think that was more of the shock than anything else.
When I eventually told Jack that I didn’t want to be around him anymore (the same day I told Susan what happened) we went our separate ways. Honestly the details of how all of that went down don’t really matter. What I’m here to talk about is how a year later Susan and Jack are still really close friends.
Now, let me start by saying that I did tell her that she didn’t have to blow up a 10+ year friendship because of me. So I don’t really have any right to feel upset about any of this to begin with. I think I’m more here to see what other people’s opinions are.
Anyway, Susan and Jack didn’t really talk for a few months because of this. I mean they did talk all the time but never in person. Susan decided she did want to stay friends with him she just wasn’t entirely comfortable being around him until she had processed everything herself.
However, eventually they did start hanging out again. Not only that but Susan regularly makes comments about how she wishes we were all still friends and that him and I would make up. Sometimes she will mention inviting him out drinking with us while we are already out drinking. When I tell her I don’t think it’s the best idea she will say something like, “yeah but you love me so you’ll put up with him for me”
Not just that but she gives me regular updates on his life and tells me everything going on with him. Especially about how much he misses me and regrets what he did by destroying our friendship.
I don’t know, on one hand I don’t care because literally I couldn’t care less about this fucking guy. I don’t like him and he means shit to me these days, I literally never think about him unless she brings him up.
But on the other hand what actually bothers me a little is how much she brings him up. I’ve told her multiple times I don’t care about his life or what he’s doing and for the rest of that day she won’t bring him up but the next time we are out she will.
Before you say it, I know I’m being a hypocrite by saying this but part of me is a little… hurt? Upset? Sad? I don’t know the right word for it but part of me feels something about how she didn’t really say anything to him about it.
I mean they talk about what happened a lot with each other because, like I said, Jack is a baby who can’t accept that his actions have consequences. I don’t know, maybe it’s the fact that they are exactly the same as before that bothers me? I never expected her to stop being friends with him. But I guess I thought something would happen.
Even though her and I are each other’s person. They have a long history together and it takes more than one incident to walk away from all of that. I just know how I would react if the rolls were reversed and it’s a lot different.
Like I said, I don’t know exactly what I’m looking for with posting this. To be completely honest I don’t really know how I feel about all of this. It’s not something that really upsets me, but I guess it just stings a little. I don’t know, I’m not the best with words. If you have any thoughts, opinions, questions, anything at all I’ll gladly take it. Maybe all I really want is someone to talk about it with, idk.

The mods of ProRevenge exercised their judgement that, fair enough, my childhood story did not constitute revenge. I respect the decision. Apparently it was crossposted to another sub first, though, but the thing was too dang long and ended up cut off. I will provide the full post here and give full permission for anyone who is able to, to post the second half on the reddit it was crossposted to, but I would only like to say first:
I only use reddit to troubleshoot tech issues since Google is down the drain now, and read BoRU posts on occasion. In general, I like to keep a very low social media footprint. So please understand that this will be my final word on this post. :)

This happened decades ago now, back in primary school. I only remembered it because I was recently catching up with old friends from back then, and we got to laughing over old stories and then someone mentioned, "The wildest was when you organised that whole protest against our teacher."
"The time I did what?"
The consensus was I did, indeed, organise the entire class to rebel against our teacher that resulted in her being deposed and our class getting a "substitute" for the rest of the year. I almost fell out of my chair hearing this story from their mouths. It wasn't that I didn't remember it, of course I did--that year was awful. It was just that it existed very differently in my memory.
Two important pieces of background knowledge to understand here:
I went to a very very small, very very rural school. How small? Each classroom was composed of the entire year level, and the largest had at most 30 kids in them. My class/year level was on the smallest in the entire school, with a piddling 14 kids in it altogether. While we still had our cliques and factions, our small size caused our class to be very tight knit and protective of each other. How rural? The school building itself was incredibly small, but one thing we were not short on was gigantic empty fields surrounding us on all sides. Great for sports, great for (it turns out) student protests.
I was, at the time, undiagnosed autistic. I mean I still am autistic, I'm just formally diagnosed now. But back then I was just seen as being a very quirky kid. One of the ways this quirkiness manifested was that I really had trouble adapting to the rules and structure of grade school and how it differed from what I was used to. At home if I wanted to pee, I just went to the toilet. Now I have to put my hand up? Now I have to ask permission to piss? Then I went home and put my hand up to ask my mom for permission to pee and she told me I didn't need to! Madness! Chaos! I don't care what the rules are, please just be consistent!
But one of the main parts of my brain and the way it works is that sometimes my brain, separate from my will, would just make a decision about a course of action and I would very calmly commit to it come hell or high water. Like, it is vitally important that I stay true to this course of action. I can't explain it. It's like I set a rule for myself and if something disrupts that, I just shut down and stop functioning.
So when the school said, "Okay, when this bell rings during recess/lunch, that means you have to leave the playground and go back to class", I was a confused child already struggling with all these completely nonsensical limitations and guidelines imposed on me. So when that bell rang, I got that calm little voice in my head that said, "Hmm, no, I'm good out here actually. I don't think I will go back into class." So I would just continue to sit out on the playground, playing with my plastic spider toys or sitting on the swing. Teachers would realise what was going on and come out to get me and tell me I have to go back to class, and I would just very calmly hear them out and then smile at them and politely as possible tell them, "No thank you, I want to stay out here."
They really didn't know what to do with me. I wasn't getting upset, I wasn't throwing a tantrum, I wasn't yelling, I wasn't being rude in any way. I was incredibly docile and would let them explain things to me with endless patience and then just politely refute them and go back to what I was doing, like this was just a very normal and reasonable negotiation between two equal parties. I have memories of sitting on the swing while three very confused and flustered adult staff huddled around me trying to bribe me with candy to go back to class. It would take a whole lesson block to lure me back to the classroom, and then at lunch the whole thing would start over again. It took me three years at school to finally accept the status quo thanks to a religious nutter I got for a teacher, and finally went back to class when the bell rang (was never happy about it though).
I eventually settled into school life. Excelled at subjects I liked, at least passed subjects I didn't, followed the rules, was seen as intelligent and obedient and was often liked by my teachers. Until my final year, when we got the teacher I can only rudely monniker Mrs Bigmouth.
Mrs Bigmouth should not have been a teacher. She had a trigger temper and would explode into long, verbally abusive tirades against us if we ever did anything she felt was disrespectful behaviour. What was disrespectful behaviour? Damned if I know. It changed day by day, depending on mood. You could disrespect her to her face one day and she'd laugh and say you have such razor wit, and politely ask a question the next and she'd scream at you for ten nonstop minutes then give you a week of DT for talking back. The absolute peak moment of her boiling temper came when she threw a dictionary at a girl's head because she was whispering to me in class. When I tell you it missed her by half an inch...
But believe it or not, this wasn't what made her such an awful teacher. It was so hard to get teachers at rural schools back then, there was almost nothing you could do to get fired, so we had experience with teachers with nightmare tempers. What made her such an issue was her big mouth. She used us, her trapped audience, as free therapy. She would infodump, traumadump, about her very personal, very private life to us. All day. She'd be two words into a spelling list and launch into an extended story session about her marital issues with her husband. We'd be heads down doing fractions and, unprompted, she'd declare to the class that her adult daughter no longer talks to her and then diatribe to us about it until the bell rang. She had money issues, a contentious relationship with her parents, her marriage was on the rocks. She once pulled me aside after school and spoke with me, at length, about how she was thinking of having another child to try to repair her marriage. I was like, okay lady, I'm 11, about to miss my bus, and my house is a 4 hour walk on foot from here.
We weren't learning. We'd hadn't had a complete lesson since the first week of the school year. We were behind on the cirriculum and frustrated. One kid had brought a stopwatch into school and would time lessons vs her monologues and kept detailed lists, and we would come to school each morning and do betting pools on them. What subject would she interrupt, what would she talk about, and how long would it go.
But all that still wasn't the breaking point if you can believe it. No! Still not! The problem was it wasn't just her own private life she couldn't keep her mouth shut about. It was everyone else's. Because parents would make the reasonable assumption that she should be told things as our class teacher that would be important to know, and that she would understand these things were said in confidence. Instead she would veer randomly off in the middle of talking to us about her horrible weekend to let us know whatever private or traumatic thing was going on in a classmate's life that she had been made aware of. That was awful. That was what made that year hell. It wasn't even about when my secrets were shared with the entire class against my consent. It was watching the faces of my small, lovely, supportive class of 11 year old children go pale and scrunch up with held-back tears as things they never wanted to share were announced like morning news. God we hated her.
Then one day that voice came. The one I hadn't heard in years. The bell ring to go back into class and that voice said, "But I don't want to be in that classroom. I'm not even being taught there." So I just... didn't. I didn't go back to class. I just sat in the playground in a daze eating grass (don't eat grass, it's not good for your teeth). Despite how small my class was, I don't think Mrs Bigmouth even noticed I wasn't there. Others did though. Come lunch and everyone came out, my friends asked me where I was and I said, "Oh, I didn't go back to class."
"Why didn't you go back to class?"
"Why would I go back to class?"
Lightbulb moment for my schoolmates. Yeah, why would they go back to class? What was the point? From a practical standpoint, they weren't learning. From an emotional standpoint, it was horrible to be there. A friend who had had her family's dirty laundry aired to the entire class just last week, things even she didn't know because her parents tried to keep it from her, asked if she could sit with me rather than go back to class. I just stared at her, vacant and confused.
"Sure? I mean, I'm just eating grass though."
Over the next few days, two kids turned into four, turned into ten, turned into the whole class. The whole class was doing a sit-out protest on the field rather than go back to class. Of course Mrs Bigmouth tried to do something about it. She'd come out, screaming at us and threatening us with DT and internal suspension, but six months of that behaviour had totally vaccinated us against her. I'd become the de facto leader and spokesperson of the protest by merit of being the first to sit out and also because I was well known to not give a shit (autistic brain: I actually just frequently had trouble reading and reacting with the correct social behaviour but it gave me a cool and aloof bad boy mystique I guess). I gave her the exact same treatment from back in grade one. I would let her scream, let her holler, let her threaten, let her spittle rain down on me, and then I would give her a sweet and innocent smile and nod in acknowledgement and say, "No thank you, we're going to remain out here." And thirteen pairs of eyes would stare at her in total silence. No one, not even the most gobbermouthed little shite in the class, would volunteer a word. The unspoken agreement was all negotiations were my responsibility.
The thing about angry people is that they feed off conflict. They get you angry so they can respond with even more anger and it nourishes them. She had no absolutely no plan of action on how to deal with me patiently hearing her out then refuting her in the gentlest of terms.
Another thing that ended up helping down the line is that we made an attempt to conduct our own classes. I mean, they sucked and we didn't learn much because we were kids with no supervision, but it was really cute in retrospect. We'd have groups of people assigned to subjects, with some people bringing in words they found in a dictionary for spelling lists and others bringing in old 6th grade homework from older siblings. The heart was there and it served a purpose, if not educational.
"Okay, but how did no one else notice this was happening? Surely people would notice 14 kids sitting on the lawn, not in class?"
Rural school. Big. Empty. Fields. Even screaming at us, the most other classrooms would hear would be muffled voices, and everyone was used to hearing her yelling at us or taking us out onto the field abruptly to make us do laps as group punishment. Plus the way the school buildings were arranged was that it was actually all in one straight line of adjacent rooms, and ours happened to be at the very end of the building. No windows faced the field we all sat in except that of our own classroom. It was just a very lucky arrangement of coincidences and preconceived notions, at least for a couple weeks. I couldn't tell you the exact number, this was so long ago and as a kid I definitely had a more stretched idea of time. Minutes felt like hours, especially during that year. But there was definitely at least two weekends that passed by since the "sit-out protest" started.
Eventually someone cottoned on to what was happening, or maybe Mrs Bigmouth humbled herself and finally confessed to her boss that she had lost control of a bunch of 11-year-olds, so we were called into the principal's office to sort this out. As the representative of our class, I was of course chosen to attend the meeting, flanked by the girl who'd had the dictionary thrown at her head and my friend who was the first to sit out with me. Since I understood that this meeting was one where we were probably going to be yelled at for doing the wrong thing, a thing I had ample experience of, I felt like the easiest way to mitigate things (especially since I felt guilty for being the instigator) was to explain in a very rational and logical way the series of events that led up to our bad behaviour. As well, for my entire life my mother had always taught me that it was no good complaining about things unless you were also willing to think of solutions. "I'm hungry!" - "Well, what's a solution to that problem?" - "Uh, make myself a sandwich?" - "Great! Let's do that together!"
So what did I do? Of course, to make things as clean and concise as possible, I interviewed my class one by one to hear each individual story of why they didn't feel comfortable going to class anymore, itemised them under categories (Verbal Aggression; Interruptions of Lessons; Oversharing Student Life) for easier discussion because my little quirky brain loved itemising things, and then as a kind of olive branch came up with solutions (we wanted to finish lessons unhindered, we wanted our personal privacy to be respected, we wanted to be able to catch our bus on time rather than being held back with unfair DT or long "chats"). So many things sort of came together in this beautiful, wholly accidental way. We had months of records of timed rants and monologues, noted down to the millisecond thanks to that kid's stopwatch. We had records of us trying to teach ourselves during the protests, showing this wasn't us just not wanting to go to class but due to us feeling as though we did not have a class to go to. When the principal heard all this, her jaw it the floor. A lot of it was stuff she knew, peripherally, but things had just never been laid out so neatly before. Some of it was stuff we'd complained to parents about, but it was one kid coming home and telling one parent one time, weeks ago. There was no real sense, up until now, the sheer scope of her behaviour. She didn't even answer us. She just said, "Okay, I need to call your parents."
We got the rest of the week off school. That weekend, every parent of every student came to a meeting between them, Mrs Bigmouth, and the principal. Stories were swapped. My exercise book with my tidy little lists and the records of the betting pool and monologue times were confiscated and brought into the meeting. I don't know what went down, but when my mother came home she just told me that Mrs Bigmouth would not be our problem for the rest of the school year, and more importantly, that she was incredibly proud of me and that I did the right thing. Rarely in my childhood had my inability to integrate into normal society led me to doing the right thing, so I just remember crying and hugging and feeling vindicated about, I don't know, just existing or something.
So yeah. From the outside perspective here is what it looked like: I, the ringleader with a history of dismissing school rules, organised a sit-out strike amongst my class. I kept the protest peaceful and non-disruptive to other classes. When negotiations with the principal were finally arranged, as the representative I compiled a clear list of greivances, with evidence, and a list of reasonable demands. I mean, holy crap, yes, yes I clearly organised a student protest.
The actual results of it are mixed. We got a revolving door of substitute teachers of varying quality for the rest of the school year, occasionally being bundled into other classrooms entirely when they couldn't find someone. It wasn't a great learning environment and we continued to struggle a lot, but it was better than before. Mrs Bigmouth was not actually fired but put on leave for the rest of the school year, then returned and was put in charge of a different year level (which happened to be the class of the younger sister of a guy in my class: according to him, she was quiet as a church mouse that entire year so I hope at least she learned her lesson, or at least finally got divorced and went to actual therapy). The entire ordeal caused our already small and close class to become really really supportive and like family to each other and we all remain in touch until this day. And we became fierce about standing up for ourselves.
I kind of learned to parse the difference between when it was appropriate to go along with set societal rules even if I don't understand them, and when those rules were just straight up unreasonable and nobody should be required to follow them. I did, years alter, lead an actual (very small) strike at work but intentionally that time. My mother was proud of me then too. :)

Actually, this is my final word on this post:
I am sending much love from across the internet to every neurodivergent person who saw themselves in this story and a possibility of how being out of the ordinary can also mean being extraordinary. You are fantastic! You are fantastic! You are fantastic! I will say it three times so you understand the importance of it!

Private ceremony
Hello, me and my significant other will be visiting the Greek islands and a one higher end resort as a surprise from me to her. We have spoken in the past and neither one of us want a traditional marriage/ engagement. However we have talked about a private ceremony with the two of us saying a few words. And was wondering if there were any cute Greek traditions or (non greek) ideas anyone had that we could do. We are not into rings as I am in Healthcare and she has an allergy to most metals. But if anyone has ideas of other options I'd love to hear those as well!

I (19f) drunkenly made out with a friend of mine (21m) (let’s call him X) a few days ago when we played a drinking game with friends in college. This came out of nowhere - I was sure we had a platonic relationship and never wanted anything more. Anyway that night I got VERY drunk fast and felt dizzy, so I sat down to take a break. My friend X has always been very caring and protective of me when drunk - if we’re out, he’ll put his arm around me to walk me home and give me his jacket if it’s cold. But this time he was extra affectionate like he’s never been before. He sat down with me, asking how I was feeling, holding my hand and rubbing it with his thumb. I got up to use the bathroom and when I came out he was standing outside talking with my friend about a girl - I overheard her was telling him to go after the girl (idk who). Anyway I came out of the bathroom and X walked out of his suite into the hall and motioned for me to follow. I did without thinking and as soon as we stepped out he hugged me. Very tightly and oddly intimately. I was still feeling so drunk and a bit dizzy at this point so I held him tightly too.. then he began to occasionally kiss my forehead which confused me as I didn’t know what his intentions were. We sat down in the chairs outside his suite still hugging and then somehow we started making out and he kept whispering that I was so cute, and I think I told him I loved him a few times (I don’t really😭 but I was so incoherent) and every once in a while he told me to look at him and he would stare into my eyes and ask me if I was feeling ok and kept offering to walk me home. Throughout this, our friends would come out in the hall and check up on me to see if I was still dizzy but I could tell they thought it was odd that X and I were so close and I was basically on his lap. Eventually, my friends walked me home and I didn’t want to leave X but I couldn’t tell them that or they’d suspect something between us.
Next day, I wake up hungover and so confused. I couldn’t believe I made out with X who I had no feelings for so I texted a friend for advice. I told her everything, how I was so drunk and he was being so affectionate and she told me I was sexually assaulted??? Because I was drunk and incoherent and couldn’t consent to making out or him touching me? I’d never looked at it that way. While we made out I wasn’t uncomfortable and was enjoying it, but the morning after I had no idea what I did or what happened. I never would have done something like that sober. My friend told me even if I don’t consider it assault, it’s a red flag that he suddenly started being so touchy when I was drunk and kept making out with me when he knew I was dizzy and cognitively impaired. She advised me to text him about it and see if he apologizes.
I’m not sure how to bring this up to X or if it should even be considered assault, or just a drunken mistake.

WAR
A few days later, my phone buzz-chirped. I opened my messages to find several pics of Dennis' Jeep, a blurry mess of lights, and a final shot of Dennis leaning back in the driver's seat with his eyes closed and his junk out and at attention. And there was a caption.
"Consider us EVEN."
I saw red. The possibility of finding peaceful contentment with Whisky was a distant memory. A figment of my imagination. I wanted blood. I wanted to slap Mary's fat fucking face senseless. I wanted to rat her out to Chuck. I was livid. Angry heat spread from my sternum to my shoulders, and the sharp sting of wrath radiated through my being. I rang Mary.
Mary: How does it feel, bitch?
I couldn't make words. I was shaking. My head was spinning. All I could muster was a meek little, "Why???"
Mary: You owed me.
Me: Mary, I'm not screwing Whiskers. And how did you even FIND Dennis? Do you even LIKE him?
Mary: Totes! He's soooooo cute! We banged it out five or six times in his car, and then he told me to lie down in the parking lot. And then he pissed all over my titties! It was soooo hot!
Me: I don't believe you. Dennis is into some pervy-ass shit. But not piss.
Mary: Well, he told me you were too vanilla to do anything fun.
Me: YEAH. I didn't wanna get butt-blasted without a rubber by a guy who couldn't even be bothered to show up when we had plans. That's not being vanilla. That's having self-respect.
Mary: Guys don't like girls who make a big deal about self-respect. It's a major turn-off. That's why I get so much more boom-boom than you do. Hey! Now that we're done fighting, you can pick me up and take me out for sushi! I'll teach you how to make men happy and then you'll owe me dinner. I obviously pleased Dennis when you couldn't.
Words failed me yet again. I shouted a much, much filthier version of, "GO SCREW," hung up on her, put on my sneakers, and ran aimlessly through my neighborhood until I almost collapsed. Once I trudged back home, I smoked a shit-ton of cigarettes and drank a shit-ton of vodka (for me, which was like... three shots) and really did collapse.
Up to this point, I felt like I had been patient with Mary. More patient than she deserved. I probably hadn’t done her any favors by allowing her to behave like a fucking maniac while I did nothing more than gently suggesting alternative behaviors. I still wanted to have faith in her ability to grow (emotionally). But all of that came crashing down. For some reason, my formerly improved sense of self-respect crashed as well...
I texted Whisky, planned to meet him at his townhouse, and successfully banged him. It was absolutely a hate bang even though I didn't hate Whisky at all (yet). I'd never engaged in hate-fueled intimacy before. I didn't realize those two states could co-exist like that. As reluctant as I am to admit it, it was cathartic. And it was also admittedly unfair to Whisky because he had no idea what was happening. I had just used him to make myself feel marginally better about a guy I guess I still had some kind of feelings for.
In case I've been unclear, I'm fully acknowledging that my actions were immature, inconsiderate, and indefensible. Don't bang somebody just because you're mad at somebody else, kids. Nobody wins. Well, it might feel like winning for a short time. It's NOT. It's bad behavior. And I absolutely hold myself accountable. Did I deserve to get verbally abused by the psycho neckbeard lurking behind the mask of the man I’d just hate-banged? No. Unequivocally, NO. But would Whisky have been well within his rights to dump me in a spectacular fashion if he’d realized what I was doing in that moment? Abso-freakin-lutely. Hell, I would have totally deserved it if he’d booted me out of his house butt-naked and screamed insults from the window. An isolated hurling of insults is not the same thing as chronic verbal maltreatment within the context of a relationship. But that's a serious topic that feels out of place in this story.
So instead of calling me on my crap and giving my butt the boot, Whisky remained oblivious to what was going on in my misguided mind and took the hate bang to mean that our relationship had just gone to the next level. And he became even sweeter and more affectionate towards me. This made my skin crawl because all my feelings for Dennis (both good and bad) had just come flooding back with a vengeance. I had no idea what to do with them. Part of me wanted Dennis to hug me and apologize. Part of me wanted to punch him in the dick. Part of me wanted Whisky to hug me and assure me that I had value as a human being even if some Golden God hadn’t chosen me to be his partner. And then part of me wanted to snap at Whisky every time he touched me. "You're NOT the one I want, Asshat!!!!!!!"
But the truth was... I didn't really want Dennis anymore. I mean... I wanted him in theory, but I didn't want the real version. He was a flake. He was nasty. I couldn't wrap my head around his inconsistent, albeit devout, spiritual beliefs. He was indeed a braggadocious butthead. I suspected that he wasn't even a very nice person beneath his affable veneer. Even so, I was irrationally irate with Mary for deliberately stalking him and seducing him. Did she really think that would make me look at my relationship with Whisky differently? I hadn't stalked him. I hadn't even pursued him. In fact, I'd rejected him several times (albeit not out of respect for Mary). How are these two situations alike??? What am I failing to see here??? Maybe I was the villain. I certainly wasn't innocent. But neither was Mary.
I mean... Mary was friggin’ MARRIED. And she'd been going around blabbing indelicately about all her supremely nasty boom-boom (whether real or fabricated) with Whiskers, Scumbanger, Tech Guy, Artistic Director, and the Hoggs. How the living, breathing, God-forsaken FUCK had she decided that she was entitled to sexy time with my (former?) crush just because I was dating ONE of the innumerable guys she’d stalked once upon a time???? Gaaaahhhhhhhhh!
And then it got even worse. Dennis was almost finished with his graduate program and was planning to move to New York that summer, while I still had another two years to go (counting the internship). But we both worked in the Neuropharmacology Lab that semester, so I still had to see him every week. Even though nothing had happened between us in a long, long time, I never knew if Dennis was going acknowledge my presence or look right through me. The power of invisibility isn't all it's cracked up ti be. But the next time I saw him, following the Mary tryst, he very deliberately approached me and said in an almost apologetic tone, "Val? Can we please talk after lab?" I nodded.
He asked me to get in his car, but I couldn't stand the thought of sitting in the ghost of Mary's snail trail. I insisted that we sit in my car, and he didn't protest. The familiar scent of mandarins and mountain air wafted through my Prius as I steeled myself for a confrontation.
Dennis: I think your friend stalked me...
Me: The crazy bitch with the big boobs?
Dennis: Yeah... She messaged me on Facebook and she was talking like you'd told her about me and thought we should hang out. I said we should call you and invite you to come along, but she said you had a boyfriend. Do you have a boyfriend?
Me: I'm dating someone. But what does it matter?
Dennis: Oh. I guess it doesn't. Anyway, I met her at this 24-hour diner. She drank like... ten beers even though I told her I don't drink. She kept talking about her cat or something...
Me: Whiskers?
Dennis: Yeah.
Me: That's a guy. She used to have a thing for him.
Dennis: That’s a guy’s name??? Weird. Well, anyway... She got all sloppy and literally started doing mouth stuff to me under the table.
My stomach turned and my blood boiled. "I don't need to hear that. She already told me all about your night. She sent me pictures of your dick and she told me how you peed on her in the parking lot."
Dennis: She said I WHAT??? Babe! Er. Um. Val! I would never do that.
I gave him a skeptical stare.
Dennis: Hand to God! I didn't pee on her. But, wait... She took pictures of my stuff???
I took out my phone and showed him the pic. Dennis blushed ferociously and looked away. Finally, he said quietly, "I'm so ashamed of myself."
I sighed. "You're always ashamed of yourself. That's why I stopped fooling around with you. It felt like you were ashamed of me, too."
Dennis: Babe! No. I just have to get right with God.
Me: Well, have you talked to God about Mary?
Dennis: I'm not ready for that one yet. I feel dirty. Like... dirtier than usual.
Me: Well, now I feel kind of guilty. She's mad at me because I'm dating a guy she used to have a crush on. She went after you because she knew I used to have a crush on you.
Dennis: You had a crush on me??? For real?
At first, I scoffed (thinking he was being sarcastic). Then I looked at his wide eyes and realized that he might have actually been that clueless.
Me: Yes, Dennis. I massively had a crush on you. You knew that. But I was apparently too vanilla for you, according to Mary.
Dennis: What??? Babe! I never said you were vanilla. I said you were classier than her.
Me: Well... Thank you? If that really is what you said to her, I appreciate that.
Dennis (striking his version of a smoldering pose): So. Uh... You still have a crush on me?
Me: I think I'll always wonder what could have been if we were each just... slightly different people. But I had to move on. I knew you didn't like me in that way, and it wasn't fair to either of us.
Dennis: Well, for what it's worth, I wish it had been your mouth the other night.
I finally smiled a little bit. I wished the same thing. But I didn't say that out loud.

Oddly enough, having that somewhat respectful, somewhat reassuring conversation with Dennis quelled my anger at Mary... a little. Don't get me wrong; I was still pissed and I never let her get close to me again after that. But I also never made a big, dramatic show of telling her off. In my mind, that would have invited more unnecessary drama. By tacitly distancing myself and henceforth keeping her at arm's length, she wasn't able to freak out over anything and I was able to keep her out of my business.
Years and years later, even now that Mary is a functional person with a healthy BMI, and much better manners (most of the time), she is still wont to bring up her tryst with Dennis. While I genuinely applaud her for putting in the work and making some sensible changes, I'll never be super buddy-buddy with her again. The fact that she still throws Dennis in my face to this very day makes me suspect that there remains a touch of cray in her gray matter.
And where Whisky was concerned, I had finally felt some sense of closure with Dennis after the aforementioned talk. So I leaned into a new relationship. And it was fine at first. Not super hot, but also not super weird. Having learned from my disgusting mistake, I know that I tend to get tempted to speculate about incredibly offensive crap regarding Funky Whisky whenever his behavior is unremarkable and not in keeping with the delightfully repulsive tone that this audience tends to enjoy. So I'll end this chapter here. In the next proper installment, I'll finally shed some light on The Goblinization. But before I wrap things up, I need to write a one-off about The Pie Guy and bring back some classic cringe!

I’ve currently been working at Panda for about 9 months now. I’ve made a huge mistake that’s made working here feel like torture, and I’m not sure how to go about this, because I may get fired. I’ll try to go as in detail as possible.
So when I first started working here, there was this coworker, let’s call him onion, that started flirting with me. If you could even call it flirting, it was more just inappropriate comments. I won’t lie, I retaliated the comments, because I thought he was cute. It eventually spiraled into him asking for my insta, me giving it to him, and we talked almost daily. I could tell he was interested in me, whether it was romantic or sexual or whatever it was. During December, he got promoted to cook (I’m counter help). We started hooking up. We hooked up twice in December and once in January. Not sure if it matters, but he was 18 and I was 17. Now while we were hooking up, he was romantically talking to one of our coworkers (let’s call her tomato) Tomato was training to be a shift lead, but now she officially became one like a month ago. A few days after our last hook up in January, onion and tomato officially started dating. He completely stopped talking to me and unfollowed me. I, of course, was completely fucking heart broken. I’ve grown to like tomato, and I thought he liked me back (stupid, I know). It’s now complete torture having to working with onion and tomato. My best coworker friend tried to tell tomato what was going on between onion and I, and how onion was being unfaithful. She got mad, and clearly doesn’t like me, but I can tell she tries to keep it professional. She’s extremely bossy towards me, but nothing worth reporting. Now, I hate onion. I can’t stand how he could just use me and then ‘ghost’ me, but I still have to see his stupid face. Tomato made him stop talking to me. Now, I don’t now where to go from here. I want to get onion fired for this, but I’m not sure what that will result in. My best coworker friend told me that associates in different ‘levels’ of panda (like counter help, manager, shift lead) aren’t allowed to have romantic relationships, and could lead to termination (hence why i mentioned our positions), but idk how true that is? When I hung out with onion outside of work, he mentioned that if anyone were to catch us together outside of work, we would both get fired. I dont know how true that is either. I read that panda handbook, but it didn’t help much. I’m assuming that me and onion would both get fired if anything, not just him. If that’s the case, I wanna make sure I already have another job secured before I report this (I’m already looking anyway, I hate panda). It’s definitely cause a LOT of tension in my workplace. The only person that knows about this is my best coworker friend. I understand it wasn’t just onion how was at fault here, but to be honest, I had NO idea that he was talking to tomato. He never mentioned it once. Anyone knowledgeable in panda law, please help.

So me and my bestf had been close for the last 5 years. Two years back I fell in love w him and I didn't regret any of that until yesterday. It was like we never dated but we liked eachother initially but he fell outta that and I didn't know when I was alone in this and he was in it only for fun or like you call it FWB. It was one sided after that. He took lust for love. When I confessed to him finally he says it had always been a fwb, what you talking about? Like WHAT? He claims that he said it at the start but I don't remember. And am pretty sure he didn't say that because I have always hated the idea of fwb. Anyway we jus remained friends and didn't date but he would touch me every now and then and I would let him because I didn't wanna lose him and wanted to be close to him. I regret that. Not sticking to my values. Everytime I got pissed at him and tried to talk, he would give some reason trying to justify himself and they would be so believable that u couldn't say no and would look stupid infronta him. I always apologized. He would always come by when he wanted something and the next day I could feel him getting distant. All I said was communicate if you want space from me or you don't wanna talk so that am not left overthinking that omg he hates me, did I do something wrong? He said how am I supposed to communicate that when I don't wanna talk. Me pushing you away speaks for itself. It's always actions over words. Can't you see? He says I always need to be told everything like a kid and I don't understand anything. It hurt. Am I asking the wrong thing? If I don't wanna be pushed away like that? When another dude came along who was treating me right, he got mad at me and says low-key I was falling for you but you did that. You play with dudes. I don't know anymore am done. I thought we were exclusive like that but you go and talk to him and flirt w him. I immediately blocked that other dude. I did what I did by my choice, I don't regret it? Did he somehow manipulate me there? Is that manipulating? We in a group where everyone adores him. He is like perfect to them. They call him such a gentlemen, they most nice and charming person they have met. If I try to say what he did they say rethink and put back efforts again. Don't stop talking to him. He nice. I keep running back to him. I feel scared that omg they calling him sucha gentlemen, what if I lose him? He seems so perfect, what if I lose him? There are so many reasons to hate him and I've tried, but none makes sense. If all of us in a group sit and try to point out one toxic trait or weakness of his, we can't. He calls himself stoic. Says that's why he doesn't care when his best friend who has done what not for him left him and went. Because he never processes emotions, he says stop whining or thinking and solve the problem. While I need to process my emotions and then pick myself up. He makes me feel so stupid but I can't let go of him? I did yesterday when I blocked him because he started flirting with my best friend. Yet somewhere deep down I keep hoping for him to come back or I don't know. I feel did I do the wrong thing? Was I harsh with him? Did I overreact when I said get the fuck out and he said I didn't flirt with your bestf. She sent me the texts where he is calling her his cute lil bear, mi amor and what not. He says that's not flirting? Why can't I get him off my mind? Has he manipulated me over time? I don't wanna be stuck in this one place. Please help

I apologize in advance for the length of this behemoth Story time Reddit: Last night I was chilling at a camp grounds in upstate NYC and this really cute bartender was on her first day ever for the job, anyways I didn’t even notice her until a community dinner at 6pm when she got some food and went to the bar to get ready for the night because us folks at the camp were gonna party till LATE I’m 18M turning 19 and I had aspirations to be a bartender myself in the familiar country of Mexico where my family operates a gin booze business. she 22F just turned and I was eager to Yk like ask her how her first day on the jobs going right? Now I time goes by we all just chilling having dinner and our rolls out some Gigachad kitchen employees with dessert and everybody fiends the fucking ice cream sandwich bars and I hastily think about the fellow bartenders out the back of the building (it’s the girl I’m taking about whose new and one other girl whom is basically her chaperone because they are her aunt) approach the bar with 2 ice cream sandwiches asking if they wanted the last stock of what remained of dessert 😂 they politely decline and I just give them away to my boys and walk back to the main cafeteria area and around 5 minutes pass people start to clear out and I not really a drinker and not of age to drink in the US (although I have been to other countries to bars that you don’t need to be 21 to drink all fine) Sit down at the bar with the 2 bartender ladies, i start yapping about all the musical bullshit I do in life and the video game I’m developing and whatnot and that’s why I came up to nature to record the ambient sounds for my project idk why BUT then when I realize is that the girl whose new’s eyes fixated on me intensely full German stare and I’m kinda intimidated ngl, so ofc as a good bartender would ask, they ask if I want anything to drink and i politely decline because I wasn’t really thirsty 💀 We start to just chat a bit I ask about how their day went and then that’s when I realize the new girl whose bartending it’s her first day and she’s absolutely drunk out the wazoo, I feel kind of bad because she was about to just go take a walk break and I saw she could barely even move straight 💀 so I ask “so what are some good things to do around here?” They reply really excited that before it gets too dark (somehow they say that and it’s already becoming 8:30 and dark at out) I should go to this really pretty creek waterfall and the absolutely double whammy hammered chick volunteers to take me. Now me skeptical af and realizing that either A, she can’t keep her eyes of me because she’s deadbeat drunk or B, she thinks I’m cute and wants to know me this is why she offered to take me to a cool place. I accept and I have to walk this girl out the bar because she’s in heels and bouncing all over the place. We make it to a downhill section we have to cross and I see her struggling and ask if she needs a hand and she hastily accepts, next thing up her arms are basically spaghetti and rolling with the wind as we make it down this hill her holding onto me for dear life. We start to walk a bit and I start to ask the big legal concern questions that us “technically inclined” men ask like “How old are you” “Do you have a boyfriend?” And “Are you in school?” I eventually get all these answers and we by some will of god walk up to an abandoned dark horror movie looking ass tipi (basically this ⛺️ thing for u non cultured swines) for some reason my hood senses start tingling and the white girl slasher film mindset goes into my mind like “Why the fuck am I about to go in there?” But hey YOLO why not go into creepy dark crowded place with drunk girl? We waltz up into that bitch looking like injured bank robbers clobbering all over the ground because the ground muddy and we can barely fit into the small opening of it, point is in there she starts basically interviewing me fucking speed run piers style and I answer being sober decently competent. Me not trying to make her feel uncomfortable turn my flashlight on to scout the area and we realize there’s some makeshift bench in there so we have a seat. She doesn’t like the fact the lights on and then she asks “do you want to kiss” and proceeds to inform me I’m a weirdo for turning on the light. Now I’m like: “ aight what the fuck girl like it’s dark spooky af out the hell u want me to do get mauled by spiders in this Native American trap house? Then Yk me never had a girlfriend and curious accepts her kiss offer and right as we are about to friggin kiss a RANDOM ASS NPC COUPLE SPAWNS IN AND JUST WALKS UP TO OUR FUCKING TIPI! What are the fucking odds bro, like it’s pitch black basically out and I’m in the middle of the woods, now they see us (we look hella sus at that moment) and kinda just walk away after being like “ooooh cool!” But anyways I get a pretty Alr first kiss, get insulted for being a horrible kisser and walk it off quoting myself “Bro it’s cuz I’m a Libra right?” Jokingly anyways we kinda talk a bit she enlightens me on some personal facts and me too, I ask if she’s had a boyfriend and she says yeah I would had asked how many but didn’t weirdly enough and she’s asked me then if I had ever had a girlfriend and I respond honestly that nope I haven’t and she doesn’t buy it, she thinks I’m lying. She then proceeds to ask me how tall I am and me being a tall ass mf for my race i respond “6 foot 3” and she’s like DAMNNNNNNN ewwww. I’m dying of laughter and ask what’s wrong. I never get a response 😭 Anyways she then decides to empty her pockets and she came for some reason with basically a mythical rarity load out of pocket loot. 2 Cinnamon booze plastic shots, lip gloss, chapstick and a cart. Now me being the worlds biggest glorified coward who never smoked and almost never drinks was amazed she had all this shit on her. I ask her how much she had to drink tonight and she told me how for every drink she served she also drank (idk why tf weird flex but ok?) we then kinda decide to go out of the tent because all of a sudden she wants to explore the pitch black woods when we both have very little phone battery left for flashlight. I think in my sober mind that’s a horrible idea and I remember in the back of my mind we had to be back in an hour from like 8:30pm and I remind her assuming she will have it into account but fail to realize SHES DRUNK AF AND CANT PROCESS SHIT!!! Anyways we walk around the creek bed and eventually we have a seat and just weirdly enough lay down watch the stars and talk about romantic stuff, she is very kind all of a sudden and we are just laughing wholeheartedly and enjoying ourselves and occasionally she tries to sloppily kiss me and I’m kinda just laying there like : 🙃. But yeah we there doing all that and then she somehow convinced me to do shots of the weird spicy booze she brought and I was very nervous and almost about to fully fold because I had a lot of important things in my life impending in the coming days and I didn’t want to fuck something up being drunk (not knowing myself if I’m a lightweight or heavyweight drinker) We each do one and I’m kinda there lying paralyzed and shivering in my boots not because of the alcohol but because of the nerves I am chilling with a girl on a beauty of a night next to some lovely sounding creek noises and making out. Me being the newbie I am just go along with anything she says or does because I’m not trying to blow what I have going Yk. But yeah time passes we just there on essentially natures lawn hugging and kissing and talking about cute life aspirations and then I have to break the hard news to her, I inform her I won’t be staying around long by any means ( I leave the next day back to da hood for school) and I feel so bad inside! Like this girl even age difference aside whatever was very kind and I didn’t want to ruin what we had going so I try and explain how I would try to visit her and later the next day I am able to check that tickets cost roughly $50 for one ways to the town she lives in and takes 2 hours and a half something if me for love I was able to do im down ig… Now as a recap: She knows I live super duper far away, She and I both understand we don’t want to ruin what we have and we are trying to see how we can keep this going. I hear someone scream her voice and then I’m like Awww shit ur in trouble right? I check my phone and it’s MOTHERFUCKING 11PM!!!! I’m like OH SHIT WE BEEN GONE A WHILE DAMNNN, I pull her up off the ground and try to get her to her aunt who I assumed was looking for her and then we sadly said it last farewell quickly. She kisses me and then she gets yoinked and chewed tf outta by basically her big auntie bartender me feeling horrible and all because I was so immature not checking the time, I walk up to her to take responsibility for the situation and not be a beta male type character she asks me all of a sudden if I’m “ok or hurt” and I say yeah I’m fine and then she walks away and for some reason my good manners and habits kick in as I quietly shout “good night” and she shouts back “yeah good fucking night!” Slams the door with my newfound friend and they both gone. I feel real bad for the situation but hey it already happened, and I then find out from some of my fellow campers that she was threatening essentially to call the state police because people have gotten lost in the woods but in my head I’m like NUH UH I GOT S TIER GOD MEMORY!!! Anyways I do have the girl I was withs number I message her apologizing for not being more responsible and whatnot and then a lot of time happens from there on. I go to bed at 1:30am, wake up the next morning at 6:57am and I’m worried because she hasn’t responded. I paranoid and feeling like a hopeless romantic sit around stressing for hours until BOOM I get off a call checking up with my moms who was out of town get a message from my dear bartender girl! I’m beyond ecstatic and try to see if we can say goodbye because I have to go so soon that same day (today as I’m writing this) we try to compromise and plan but sadly it doesn’t work out for us and we just don’t get a well deserved farewell. I feel truly defeated and depressed about it and people I’m with are speculating how I have barely eaten in all the hours I have been up today. I reply it’s that m stresses but don’t go into detail trying to avoid ancontroversial discussion. This girls name is Sofia and I as I hope a constituted decent person hope I can keep this relationship but there are a few obstacles. 1, she lives 2 hours best case scenario from me. 2, she doesn’t really answer my messages until very late after I send them (for example i message her 12:30 she responds then doesn’t respond until past 5pm same day) and It’s hard to have a relationship with flawed communication I can see. Now for me I have always wanted to find love but never really succeeded in it and I’m truly just grateful for having any experience like this at all and I want to hear feedback from fellow guys and girl as to what I should do to keep this a respectful and responsible relationship you know?
Sincerely and looking forward to feedback, K

Isa akong batang laking mahirap. All the kinds of bullying naranasan kona and kahit I am on my adult stage na bakat na bakat padin sa ala ala ko kung ano ang mga napagdaanan ko during my years of schooling.
During my elementary days way back mga 2004-2010, baon ko 2 pesos a day pero hindi pa araw araw may baon. Minsan nag aabot sila mama at papa ng 5 pesos ng monday and that's it for the whole week. I am too innocent in those time kasi Im proud to say na never ako nag cocomplain to my parents regarding that,siguro dahil alam kong wala din naman magbabago if I ask them kasi I know na walang wala din naman talaga sila. Minsan yung mga kaklasmayt ko pa noon tinatawanan ako pag tinutulog ko lang ng recess time namin kahit yung tiyan ko tumutunog sa gutom, while them enjoying their meals and have money on their hands to show off. They don't wanna be friend with me either kasi di ako nakakasabay sa kung anong meron sila kaya ako yung typical na batang PAPASOK sa skul ,UUPO,TAHIMIK at magsasalita lang pag kinakausap. Ang tanging alam ko lang non is disiplinado ako ng mga magulang ko kaya naman never ako nanlimos ng kahit ano or nainvolve sa gulo or na guidance sa skul, if my conflict man non sakin at sa klasmayt ko, umiiwas nalang ako at mananahimik kasi takot akong magkamali eventhough sinasabihan na nila ako "DUWAG" "LAMPA" etc.... One time may pinapa project si teacher sakin that requires money to buy it. Sinabi ko din naman kila mama pero they can't provide so pagpasok ko ng umaga sa skul, sobrang kabado ako kasi lahat sila may maipapasang project and ako lang wala. Then when my name called by our teacher sinabi ko yung totoo but the teacher just say "Baka gusto ako pa magprovide para sayo" sabay tawa. Until then naging hobby na nya akong pagtawanan infront of his co teachers at sa mga students at ako lagi inuutusan taga bunot ng puting buhok nya.🤣 well nakakatawa nalang sya sakin now pag naaalala ko
Fast forward... 2011 Highschool days... I enter highschool like elem na walang wala din. All my things are old, from bag to notebooks, yung lapis ko parang nasa 3 inches nalang ang haba kasi di ko napapalitan. Even my slippers have butas na which is naging reason ng bullying din. Yung ibang klasmayts ko laging kinukwestyon bakit daw ganun di ako mabilhan ng mga magulang ko pero di ko sila sinasagot. Just like elem days, ako yung tipo ng stujanteng tahimik lang sa upuan, kaya ang tingin ng guro namin sakin "MABAIT" pero may mga guro padin na hindi talaga ako nagugustuhan dahil sa bagay na wala ako na meron madalas mga klasmayts ko. Malayo ang skul namin sa mga bahay namin kaya nagbabaon kami ng pang lunch namin. Madalas baon ko araw araw is itlog,pancit canton na isang piraso tapos ginagawa kong pang recess at lunch na yun. Even that thing I was questioned lagi by my klasmayts but I don't answer them. I was so lonely nun kasi wala naman gustong makipagkaibigan sakin, even if may groupings, I was left alone and doing my activity alone. If you guys are wondering how's my marks in school? I was a regular student and never ako na fail sa subject ko kasi yun din habilin ng magulang ko sakin. I was so obedient to my parents even those times na pinag aabsent nila ako para magtrabaho sa bukid at para may baon ako sa school.Then the next day, I will be punished in school for being absent without telling them my reasons. I know how hard my life is kaya nangangako ako sa sarili ko na I have to finish my studies kahit anong mangyari. There are some teachers who love humiliating me in front of many students for the things I have, such meron daw ako shoes na old pero walang socks, butas ang pantalon, and ngilaw na ngilaw ang puting uniporme signs of it being old enough. One thing I am struggling about is yung yellow pad paper, yun kasi gamit namin ng highschool and most of them have it tapos ako pag humihingi ako ayaw din naman ako bigyan, kaya ang ending I'm using notebooks as alternative for it. My teacher would question it again pero same thing, my silence is my response. In those years, teachers are allowed to beat students as sign of disiplina and I was beaten as a punishments for not providing projects and unattended classes dahil sa need ko kumita ng pera para may pambaon. Pag binabalikan ko siya, awang awa ako sa sarili ko. And those people who treated me that bad, I still remember them but I forgave them. Masakit lang pag naaalala ko😭 I just can't imagine na nalagpasan ko siya na ako lang magisa at walang nasandalan even my parents. All those bullying I have received from my society, inako ko lang magisa yun at none from my siblings and parents knows about it.
Fast forward...2015- 2019 College... This one is the most legit na sobrang hirap. Pero bago pa mag umpisa ang semester nun I confront my self na kahit anong mangyari " I have to be a regular students,walang bibitiw at wag na wag babagsak sa kahit anong subjects
1st -2nd year college ko, I tried everything I can, to provide for my own tuition fees and allowances. Yes nagbibigay sila mama at papa pero hindi kasya, minsan 150- 200 lang kaya nila iabot for a week allowance, ang bording house ko laging delayed ang bayad, and my tuition is always on hold kaya laging suki ako ng special exam. Pinasok ko mag work as taga dilig ng halaman and care taker ng isang bar and grill for the night and study in the morning. I have no choice but to do it cause ayokong mag stop sa pagaaral. Kaya naman pag sumasahod ako sa part time ko, binibili ko ng mga sapatos sa shoppee and then I resell it on facebook market online around the city. After my class ng afternoon dun ko sila minimeet up sa city and there I earned money. Tho, of all the efforts and hardships na ginagawa ko still my studies is my top priority. I was so payat sa sobrang pagod, puyat at stress.lagi pa akong nag nose bleeding and I was so worried for my health pero tuloy ang laban. Again, none from my siblings and parents knows about it. I kept it all alone and di din naman sila nag tatanong kasi they thought I am doing fine dahil wala din naman silang narerecieved na reklamo sakin. BULLYING? ofcourse di padin ako nakaligtas jan, I was called "EWW ANG ITIM, MUKHANG MATANDA kasi di nakakapag ahit ng balbas at nakapagpagupit" minsan sasabihin pa nila "Huy kumain ka naman para ka nang kalansay" without knowing my whole story. One time I cried inside the confort room kasi I couldn't help myself na mainggit sa mga classmates ko nun na after class they will be having a talk about san sila mag lulunch if sa Jollibee ba, mcdo or sangyup. Samantalang ako, after class I was so busy meeting people with their orders. Minsan nadadaanan ko pa sila sa fast food having a good time while ako may bitbit na malaking basket puno ng sapatos na idedeliver.🙂 If my mandatory na event sa skul na need attendan, I used to ask people I don't know if may pwede ba akong mahihiraman ng susuotin tapos sasabihin nila try nila hanapan ako pero they then laugh at me afterwards. I feel so ashamed of doing it but I have to. So ayun na nga iniignore ko lang yung mga moment na tinatawanan ako sa looks ko, sa mga bagay na wala ako na meron sila. Basta focused ako sa acads ko nun at sa pagkita ng pera.
During my 3rd yr college. Yung part time kong work nagsara so I was forced to stop working with them na. And so yung pagbebenta ko ng sapatos nalang ginagawa ko. I was so lost that time kasi diko alam ako gagawin ko. Malaking tulong yun sakin lalo na 2yrs nalang kailangan kong tapusin sa pagaaral at mas malaki ang expenses ko na.Isang araw papasok ako ng gate sa skul and there are posters around our campus about scholarships and yung minimum qualified average. I have know idea if abot ba ng average ko dun sa offer ng scholars. so I run towards our registrar to request for a certificate of my grades. My world just stop for a while and I'm in tears kasi naabot nga. 86.04 yung average ko and the asking is 85.0.lang. moving forward, I got the scholarship and it helps me with my tuition fees. Kaya ang pinoproblema ko nalang non is bording house ko. Until meron na namang ibang offered na scholarships sa city so kahit sobrang haba ng pila,tiniis ko kasi I know it will save me. Luckily God is so good to me kaya I got them. That's why sa huling taon na pagaaral bago grumaduate, everything goes well and smooth because of those 3 scholarships. I Gave up selling shoes and focus sa exams nalang until I manage to graduate.....
July 2019.... FINALLY GRADUATED AND A CERTIFIED DEGREE HOLDER OF PSYCHOLOGY....
2024 update about me? I am now in a good path, I took a career that is relevant to my degree and still want exploring more things...

I made a throw away just for this because I don't want it on my main.
Today was a typical Sunday. I (39M) was doing a lot of house work and like usual no one else was really doing any. For just some quick context we've been married for 17 years and together 18, we have 3 kids (15F, 6F, 4M)
Today, my wife (37F) made a minor deal out of me doing outside yardwork today. I said I'd rather do it tomorrow. She tried to talk me into it but I said "I'm not going to, there's too much to do inside. So I'll do it if you take over what I was doing inside."
Normally this is where she would try to sweet talk me into doing what she wants. But that didn't happen today. She said, "I ain't doing shit, I work and I put out, thats what I do around here." At first I thought she was joking but she was dead serious.
I said, "You don't do housework because you have a job and you put out?". She said, "Yeah, you knew I always wanted to be a SAHM, if that happened Id do the house, but it didn't, so I work, and I put out, so you don't really have any reason to complain."
I just said "okay" because this was not argument worthy to me, went to hug her, she blocked me and said "No." 10 minutes later she texted me the weather will be fine tomorrow so you can just do the yard then. I did a bunch of housework, she layed around and watched movies but acted really annoyed any time I came into our room until after dinner, when she said "Get the kids to bed early so I can ride you ".
I'm still thinking about it, she normally acts cute and butters me up when she doesn't want to do something or wants me to do something. But today she was crass and aggressive, which is not normal. I had no idea she felt this way. We talked about the SAHM thing many years ago and I thought we had both agreed that we couldn't afford that. It was just such odd behavior, she had an angry tone the whole conversation and an annoyed tone the rest of the day, it was not the usual playfulness she gives me.
Does this sound like some kind of built up resentment? Anyone else had a spouse with a similar attitude? I would chock it up to a bad day but it's was a day off for everyone and she just got back from a work out she told me was really good. When I picked her up she seemed happy. I'm just really confused right now.