I'm going to try to translate those top comment from Hupu for MSI, I might skip some of them as they are Chinese internet memes that I've no idea how to translate, and those comment related to Honor of Kings, a popular league like mobile game made by Tencent.
The rating is user poll generated, you can give a rating between 2 and 10, and average is used. A total of 725k people participated in this series' rating.
Hupu rating is an in APP feature so it doesn't really have a link, but here is the post match thread for the match, and on the top there is an link you can click on that get you to that page. link

MATCH 1: BLG vs. T1

Bilibili Gaming

	Player Rating	Top Comment
Bin Twisted Fate	9.8	This is our BLG's double marksman!
Xun Xin Zhao	8.3	Good tempo, but what give you the confidence to so steal blue by yourself?
Knight Taliyah	9.7	This game Trist kept getting fed kills, while you are the one controlling the tempo of the game, and give all the kill to your teammates, you are the true MVP of this game.
Elk Kalista	3.7	This game just treat Kalista like Tahm Kench.
ON Renata Glasc	9.6	"I didn't say you could go, did I?"
BigWei	5.5	Don't ban Nid against Gen.G but ban it against T1, are you drunk?

T1

	Player Rating	Top Comment
Zeus K'Sante	6.0	I often think what if Sang-hyeok brother is 10 years younger.
Oner Sejuani	3.8	Tarzan: I logged on.
Faker Tristana	2.8	Hey bro, maybe you should go tryout for the Old Guy Cup.
Gumayusi Senna	3.6	That herald in the baron pit, directly give BLG a way to go in, pure comedy.
Keria Nautilus	7.9	Looks a bit red from player cam.
kk0ma	3.4	Kenzhu: I'm going to keep picking Neeko next game.

MATCH 2: BLG vs. T1

Bilibili Gaming

	Player Rating	Top Comment
Bin K'Sante	8.9	So weird, you are the most in form, but bot lane is getting the highest priority.
Xun Wukong	3.5	You the only one pick Wukong this whole MSI, and last time you tried you got giga gapped, why pick it again, J4 and Xin would be so much better.
Knight Neeko	8.6	Not your fault, same like last series against Gen.G, bot feed a lot of kills and then blame you invisible.
Elk Varus	2.6	You were not human in any of the recent games.
ON Kalista	2.7	If you keep playing like this, I'm gonna go watch KPL.
BigWei	2.7	BigWei and rest of the coaching stuff come out and face the flame, why are you so focused on strong lanes, didn't you learn. Don't waste so many ban for mid, just tell left hand be more confident and pick a tempo champ, don't always think about laning. Pick some engage champ like Naut, Rell, Alistar, Camille for On, Xun could pick carry jungle like Nid or Kindred if there are engage already, else just pick J4, Sej, Maokai, Wukong. Bin watch out for Zeus last pick counter pick, don't be cocky, BLG fighting, please win this!

T1

	Player Rating	Top Comment
Zeus Camille	8.7	Using the T1 formula, if Zeus can carry, this game will be a stomp.
Oner Sejuani	8.7	You tempo is so good, so why are you kept picking Viego.
Faker Akali	7.1	Dude, what use do you have? I mean seriously, you are not really useful.
Gumayusi Draven	9.3	Why kept picking me Senna, am I weaker than them?
Keria Ashe	7.4	If you didn't ult the real Wukong, that last fight will turn out different.
kk0ma	6.8	No difference compared to Ham. (Laker coach.)

MATCH 3: BLG vs. T1

Bilibili Gaming

	Player Rating	Top Comment
Bin Twisted Fate	9.9	Fine red wine glitters in a jade chalice that glows in the night, next card will be a ace of heart. (The first part is a famous Chinese poem "葡萄美酒夜光杯", and the second part rhymes with that in Chinese.)
Xun Xin Zhao	9.2	That flash for flash at top was so critical, as a Yasuo main I felt the pain.
Knight Annie	9.8	Knight: Yagao, I don't know what to do. Yagao: ZhuoDing, maybe its time for Annie.
Elk Senna	9.5	WE.Jiumeng, UP.ELK, BLG.Husband is fighting for control of the body, husband is winning right now. (past name and nickname for Elk.)
ON Ornn	9.7	Gift a kill when fountain diving, champion at karma.
BigWei	7.7	Wow, did you just first pick Senna? (This was a 1 star rating comment, probably made right after the draft.)

T1

	Player Rating	Top Comment
Zeus Yasuo	2.5	Come duo with me, I'm silver, my username is weird top. (It is the name for a steamer 霸哥 that is known for been bad，farming under tower, and possibly using 3rd party software to cheat.)
Oner Nidalee	2.8	Oner: Nidalee, I don't know what to do now. Nidalee: What, who are you again?
Faker Zac	2.8	This Zac pick is like a summary of T1, once Faker dies, four turd pop out.
Gumayusi Kalista	2.8	So you are really an egg, either fried egg, or egg drop soup. (Those are dishes in China, and dish is called 菜, which also means bad when used in league.)
Keria Nautilus	2.9	OP
kk0ma	3.1	Kenzhu:Hmm, did you reuse your old password? 1557, such an easy password.

MATCH 4: BLG vs. T1

Bilibili Gaming

	Player Rating	Top Comment
Bin Twisted Fate	9.6	Tried your best.
Xun Vi	2.4	Fully responsible.
Knight Corki	7.2	When Chovy's Corki had an advantage, his teammate didn't decide to int.
Elk Varus	3.5	You finally got you condition under control, your jungler's is acting up again.
ON Nautilus	6.6	OK I guess, the support Naut is the only one that could face check.
BigWei	3.2	Xun's Vi, Elk's Varus, game is GG at BP.

T1

	Player Rating	Top Comment
Zeus K'Sante	8.0	Showmaker.jpg.
Oner Viego	8.5	Oner: Viego, I don't know what to do now. Viego: Who are you? Oner: I'm Zhao "JieJie" Li-Jie, don't turn around to look.
Faker Aurelion Sol	6.5	Head scratcher, inted at least 4 times.
Gumayusi Senna	8.3	Your ult is so clutch, so many key shields.
Keria Ornn	8.1	I upgrade based on age, Zeus sad :C.
kk0ma	6.0	Kenzhu: You still haven't change your password yet, I get to pick Senna and Asol again.

MATCH 5: BLG vs. T1

Bilibili Gaming

	Player Rating	Top Comment
Bin Camille	9.9	Best top in the world, LPL's pride, you deserves it!
Xun Xin Zhao	7.6	Your entire purpose this game is to facecheck.
Knight Neeko	9.7	Watching you whole game, you were laughing the whole game.
Elk Senna	9.3	I think I kinda get LCK's love for Senna now, and your Senna last year G5 against Gen.G, maybe Senna is actually good.
ON Ornn	9.8	Everyone is even before Letme.
BigWei	5.7	So dumb, I guess you've made enough money and want to retire, how did you BP like this?

T1

	Player Rating	Top Comment
Zeus K'Sante	2.8	Now you really became Bin's son.
Oner Viego	2.6	Viego: Wait, your are not Zhao "JieJie" Li-Jie, byebye.
Faker Taliyah	3.2	Faker, now its time to wake up from the sweet dream.
Gumayusi Varus	2.8	A kid came to T1, his Varus is flying. (A copy pasta for TheShy, original one is something like: A kid came to WE, his Riven is flying. It was an compliment, but in this case Guma's Varus was literality in the sky.)
Keria Nautilus	2.6	That flash hook clone is a bit cringe.
kk0ma	4.1	Password too hard, let me try other side's.

I have two paths and I have to make a decision in 3 days. My dad says go for what your gut is telling you. I don't know what my gut is telling me.
First Path: If I go to grad school and do the GA job for the soccer team, I am setting myself up for a career as a collegiate soccer coach. That path is easier to me. I know how to do school and I know how to do soccer (although not as a coach yet) as that's all I have done my entire life. This path is comfortable to me, secure, scares me less.
Second Path: The ranch position scares me. It is unstable as in 3 months I must find another position. The ranch puts me in a situation I have never experienced before. Forces me to learn things I have never learned about. It is new and exciting and scary. But if I did it, I would do everything to learn the most I can. Learn how to career climb in the hospitality industry. Learn how to give people an experience as that is something I love to do.
If there was a crystal ball that told me the outcome to each of these paths and one told me I will be a successful collegiate head coach in 10 years and the other told me I will own my own hospitality experience, I would choose the path to owning my own hospitality experience. What does that tell me? Could I ever have both? Do you know that fig tree poem by Sylvia Plath?
I guess my questions are, can seasonal work turn into a lifelong career? Where could I end up? Will I be wasting the opportunity to go to grad school being a Grad Assistant (GA) for the soccer team taking the next step to being a collegiate coach? The collegiate coach dream of mine is because it is comfortable to me, i know i would be good at it, and I could see myself doing it forever. But part of me wants to be free and adventure and work those long hard seasonal jobs in case I learn something or meet someone and it takes my life in a direction I never even would have imagined.
Hope any of you can help me.

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enterprise, entertain, entertainment, entire, entirely, entrance, entry, environment, environmental, episode, equal, equally, equipment, equivalent, era, error, escape, especially, essay, essential, essentially, establish, establishment, estate, estimate, etc, ethics, ethnic, European, evaluate, evaluation, evening, event, eventually, ever, every, everybody, everyday, everyone, everything, everywhere, evidence, evolution, evolve, exact, exactly, exam, examination, examine, example, exceed, excellent, except, exception, exchange, exciting, executive, exercise, exhibit, exhibition, exist, existence, existing, expand, expansion, expect, expectation, expense, expensive, experience, experiment, expert, explain, explanation, explode, explore, explosion, expose, exposure, express, expression, extend, extension, extensive, extent, external, extra, extraordinary, extreme, extremely, eye, fabric, face, facility, fact, factor, factory, faculty, fade, fail, failure, fair, fairly, faith, fall, 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satisfy, sauce, save, saving, say, scale, scandal, scare, scatter, scenario, scene, schedule, scheme, scholar, scholarship, school, science, scientific, scientist, scope, score, scream, screen, script, sea, search, season, seat, second, secondary, secret, secretary, section, sector, secure, security, see, seed, seek, seem, segment, seize, select, selection, self, sell, Senate, senator, send, senior, sense, sensitive, sentence, separate, sequence, series, serious, seriously, servant, serve, service, session, set, setting, settle, settlement, seven, several, severe, sex, sexual, shade, shadow, shake, shall, shallow, shape, share, sharp, she, sheet, shelf, shell, shelter, shift, shine, ship, shirt, shock, shoe, shoot, shooting, shop, shopping, short, shortly, shot, should, shoulder, shout, show, shower, shrug, shut, shy, sibling, sick, side, sigh, sight, sign, signal, significant, significantly, silence, silent, silver, similar, similarly, simple, simply, sin, since, sing, singer, single, sink, sir, sister, sit, site, situation, six, size, ski, skill, skin, skirt, sky, slave, sleep, slice, slide, slight, slightly, slip, slow, slowly, small, smart, smell, smile, smoke, smooth, snap, snow, so, so-called, soccer, social, society, soft, software, soil, solar, soldier, sole, solid, solution, solve, some, somebody, somehow, someone, something, sometimes, somewhat, somewhere, son, song, soon, sophisticated, sorry, sort, soul, sound, soup, source, south, southern, Soviet, space, Spanish, speak, speaker, special, specialist, species, specific, specifically, specify, speech, speed, spend, spending, spin, spirit, spiritual, split, spoil, sponsor, sport, spot, spray, spread, spring, square, squeeze, stability, stable, staff, stage, stain, stair, stake, stand, standard, standing, star, stare, start, state, statement, station, statistical, status, stay, steady, steal, steel, steep, stem, step, stick, still, stimulate, stimulus, stir, stock, stomach, stone, stop, storage, store, storm, story, straight, strange, stranger, strategic, strategy, stream, street, strength, strengthen, stress, stretch, strike, string, strip, stroke, strong, strongly, structural, structure, struggle, student, studio, study, stuff, stupid, style, subject, submit, subsequent, substance, substantial, substitute, succeed, success, successful, successfully, such, sudden, suddenly, sue, suffer, sufficient, sugar, suggest, suggestion, suicide, suit, summer, summit, sun, super, supply, support, supporter, suppose, supposed, Supreme, sure, surely, surface, surgery, surprise, surprised, surprising, surprisingly, surround, survey, survival, survive, survivor, suspect, sustain, swear, sweep, sweet, swim, swing, switch, symbol, symptom, system, table, tactic, tail, take, tale, talent, talk, tall, tank, tap, tape, target, task, taste, tax, taxi, tea, teach, teacher, teaching, team, tear, technical, technique, technology, teen, teenager, telephone, telescope, television, tell, temperature, temporary, ten, tend, tendency, tennis, tension, tent, term, terms, terrible, territory, terror, terrorist, test, testimony, testing, text, than, thank, thanks, that, the, theater, their, them, theme, themselves, then, theory, therapy, there, therefore, these, they, thick, thin, thing, think, thinking, third, thirty, this, those, though, thought, thousand, threat, threaten, three, throat, through, throughout, throw, thus, ticket, tie, tight, time, tiny, tip, tire, tissue, title, to, tobacco, today, toe, together, toilet, token, tolerate, tomato, tomorrow, tone, tongue, tonight, too, tool, tooth, top, topic, toss, total, totally, touch, tough, tour, tourist, tournament, toward, towards, tower, town, toy, trace, track, trade, tradition, traditional, traffic, tragedy, trail, train, training, transfer, transform, transformation, transition, translate, translation, transmission, transmit, transport, transportation, travel, treat, treatment, treaty, tree, tremendous, trend, trial, tribe, trick, trip, troop, trouble, truck, true, truly, trust, truth, try, tube, tunnel, turn, TV, twelve, twenty, twice, twin, two, type, typical, typically, ugly, ultimate, ultimately, unable, uncle, undergo, understand, understanding, unfortunately, uniform, union, unique, unit, United, universal, universe, university, unknown, unless, unlike, until, unusual, up, upon, upper, urban, urge, us, use, used, useful, user, usual, usually, utility, utilize, vacation, valley, valuable, value, variable, variation, variety, various, vary, vast, vegetable, vehicle, venture, version, versus, very, vessel, veteran, via, victim, victory, video, view, viewer, village, violate, violation, violence, violent, virtually, virtue, virus, visibility, visible, vision, visit, visitor, visual, vital, voice, volume, voluntary, volunteer, vote, voter, voting, wage, wait, wake, walk, wall, wander, want, war, warm, warn, warning, wash, waste, watch, water, wave, way, we, weak, weakness, wealth, wealthy, weapon, wear, weather, web, website, wedding, week, weekend, weekly, weigh, weight, welcome, welfare, well, west, western, wet, what, whatever, wheel, when, whenever, where, whereas, whether, which, while, whisper, white, who, whole, whom, whose, why, wide, widely, widespread, wife, wild, wildlife, will, willing, win, wind, window, wine, wing, winner, winter, wipe, wire, wisdom, wise, wish, with, withdraw, within, without, witness, woman, wonder, wonderful, wood, wooden, word, work, worker, working, workout, workplace, works, workshop, world, worried, worry, worth, would, wound, wrap, write, writer, writing, wrong, yard, yeah, year, yell, yellow, yes, yesterday, yet, yield, you, young, your, yours, yourself, youth, zone.

I'm going to try to translate those top comment from Hupu for MSI, I might skip some of them as they are Chinese internet memes that I've no idea how to translate, and those comment related to Honor of Kings, a popular league like mobile game made by Tencent.
The rating is user poll generated, you can give a rating between 2 and 10, and average is used. A total of 335k people participated in this series' rating.
Hupu rating is an in APP feature so it doesn't really have a link, but here is the post match thread for the match, and on the top there is an link you can click on that get you to that page. link

MATCH 1: GEN vs. TES

*Gen.G *

	Player Rating	Top Comment
Kiin Vayne	7.5	Good at getting carried.
Canyon Vi	3.0	Without those engages, Draven wouldn't even have a chance to cash in.
Chovy Corki	9.1	You are not on Chovy's level, bring bigwei here.(BLG Coach, Chovy in Chinese is pronounced chaowei.
Peyz Kalista	8.5	Where is ELK, sub in ELK!
Lehends Alistar	8.6	"Lehends Alistar, there was that classic clip, I'm laughing already."
Kim	6.6	I've already decided to yell at Canyon, and have a infighting this summer.

Top Esports

	Player Rating	Top Comment
369 K'Sante	2.4	Push and pull, and you just collapsed.
Tian Viego	4.0	Did you submit your formal request when you transformed into Vayne and play it for a bit?
Creme Akali	5.8	Bad but not a coward.
JackeyLove Draven	9.0	What a shame, most consistent game, did not int once.
Meiko Nautilus	7.1	That last fight was a bit comical, but I guess its gg if you don't engage, so who knowns.
Despa1r	2.7	Love to pick Draven without banning Vi, love to give Tian Viego.

MATCH 2: GEN vs. TES

*Gen.G *

	Player Rating	Top Comment
Kiin Twisted Fate	8.3	Without Doran, Chovy is playing better and better.
Canyon Lee Sin	8.1	Canyon, Offseason 1st team. (Another Lebron kyzhyz wordplay.)
Chovy Azir	9.4	The only mistake you made game was because you thought TES had more damage, didn't even need to use Zhonya this game.
Peyz Aphelios	7.8	Second Item Lord Dominik's, are you trying to ruin Han Sama.
Lehends Lulu	9.1	Why does you Lulu has Charm?
Kim	7.4	KenZhu: Guys, I'm trying to crack his password.

Top Esports

	Player Rating	Top Comment
369 Renekton	2.7	Didn't felt like last game was bad enough, so you tried to be worse this game.
Tian Sejuani	2.4	Wow, 3rd Uncle was pretty bad, but you are worse. (Canyon's nickname in china is 3rd Uncle, after Ning and Tian, due to there world's FMVP).
Creme Ahri	2.3	Such difference compared with Faker's G5 Ahri yesterday, I guess you really need to look at the ID not only champion name.
JackeyLove Lucian	8.6	When you have to pull all your eggs in the Jacky basket, TES is probably doomed.
Meiko Nami	8.9	Nami bubble is pretty hard to hit, most time with Lucian Nami, Nami's purpose is to buff Lucian with E, I guess only Meiko's Nami could be one that controls bot lane.
Despa1r	2.7	Fun Fact: After SSG got rebranded as Gen.G, they've never beat LPL in a BO5, TES is about to break this record after 6 years.

MATCH 3: GEN vs. TES

*Gen.G *

	Player Rating	Top Comment
Kiin Ryze	5.9	Honest you played pretty well, teleports and etc are all decent, not sure why people are flaming you.
Canyon Jarvan IV	2.8	I rarely use Tarzan to describe a jungler.
Chovy Corki	5.1	Why did people say you tried your best, I mean you got gapped by fking Creme.
Peyz Kalista	2.4	Imp would go forward is he was playing.
Lehends Nautilus	3.0	Naut went around the back, ult Alistar, Q the wall. The two bastards of bot lane.
Kim	3.1	Kenzhu: Hey guys, I figured out his password.

Top Esports

	Player Rating	Top Comment
369 Rumble	4.6	Wow, you are really soft against Korean top laners.
Tian Maokai	9.4	The shadow MVP, great decisions.
Creme Tristana	9.8	TES.Creme: Please first pick me Trist; TES.Creme: Please first pick me Trist; TES.Creme: I'm a one trick.
JackeyLove Varus	9.7	If my teammates played like human, you think I'll lose to you? Seriously?
Meiko Alistar	9.8	I play support, I die for my mid, I got flamed. Please treat all those unnamed support in the rift nicely.
Despa1r	6.4	Don't pick what made you guys good in the spring, picking Viego and Akali, and wait till the match point to go back to Varus Maokai, really?

MATCH 4: GEN vs. TES

*Gen.G *

	Player Rating	Top Comment
Kiin K'Sante	3.1	Love ranged top, becoming i series, you are? (Referencing TheShy, i series is a flame people use when theShy go 1/x, call him developing ix series CPU).
Canyon Vi	4.8	Do you know why we didn't kill you when we fountain dived in the end? Because league does not have friendly fire.
Chovy Azir	3.1	If you are Faker, I'm not going to celebrate until the Nexus explodes, but you are Chovy, you guys are not coming back.
Peyz Kalista	2.7	I became a world champion at 17, you?
Lehends Alistar	4.3	5 Star, XDXDXD, please continue like this next game.
Kim	2.9	Kenzhu: Sorry he got back on for a second and banned Trist.

Top Esports

	Player Rating	Top Comment
369 Urgot	9.0	Zhou: 69: Just wait for me to get one more wave.(Zhou former TES support was guest casting this game, they were playing out how TES member's voice comm would sound like in the end).
Tian Sejuani	9.8	Mahakala! (It is pronounced da an hei tian(大暗黑天)in Chinese, not sure if it is referencing DNF another Tencent game, or Seer, a popular Chinese web game for kids.)
Creme Corki	9.8	Was Trist piloting the plane? You can only play yordles from now on.
JackeyLove Draven	9.7	When the rift herald was summoned, the music started to play in my ears, da da da di da la. (Referencing the Jacky Marching Song (난! (I) By Clon I think.) It is used by a lot of Jacky clips in Chinese TikTok, people called it Jacky anthem.)
Meiko Ashe	9.9	General settles Tian Shan with 3 arrows, Warrior march into the gates of Korea. (A poem from Old Book of Tang, about the general that conquered Goguryeo, a Korean kingdom lasted till 668, I'm not a poet, so the translation is probably botching it.).
Despa1r	9.1	2.9 before the game started, 9.2 after the game started.

MATCH 5: GEN vs. TES

*Gen.G *

	Player Rating	Top Comment
Kiin K'Sante	9.3	Pic of Showmaker clapping sarcastically.
Canyon Nidalee	9.2	Nidalee: I'm at a loss, Geon-bu, do you remember the High-spirited you from that year. (Referencing to 2020 FMVP Canyon).
Chovy Corki	7.8	You almost inted game 5 away, you played like the best player on your team for the first 4 games, but if you did int game 5 away, people are going to say you are a choker.
Peyz Kalista	5.7	Lol, you team had a 10k gold lead, you have a 100 gold lead.
Lehends Ashe	6.3	Lehends: Akali is coming! Akali is coming!
Kim	6.3	Kenzhu: Sorry guys, they finally kicked me off his account after 2 games.

Top Esports

	Player Rating	Top Comment
369 Urgot	3.0	Turning point: Feed a kill to the Nid that was doomed, and it radiated to the bot lane, great start but got push around entire game.
Tian Sejuani	8.5	Tried you best, this is really a surprise that you were the most consistent.
Creme Akali	2.7	WTF was that last fight, you guys had a chance to comeback.
JackeyLove Lucian	8.6	Nothing to say, you really tried you best today, at least you didn't get 3-0ed, good luck next round.
Meiko Nami	9.3	Those godly bubbles, too bad your guys got out macroed hard.
Despa1r	4.1	What a BP, like to chose losing lanes, like to pick comp that lost before already.

Turns out GPT is familiar with Skippy's List, and we've been taking turns coming up with 'Things I Am Not Allowed To Do With ChatGPT'. Please provide your own suggestions in the comments! Items in written by the bot.

1. I am not allowed to ask the bot to solve my love life problems, even if it knows the answer.
2. I am not allowed to challenge the bot to a rap battle, as it always wins by default.
3. I am not allowed to ask the bot to write a symphony in five minutes or less.
4. I should not ask the bot to check my balance excessively, as it has better things to do.
5. I am not allowed to ask the bot to convince my parents that I deserve a raise in my allowance.
6. I am not allowed to challenge the bot to a game of 4D chess, as it will likely outsmart me.
7. I am not allowed to ask the bot to predict the exact time and date of my future success.
8. I am not allowed to request the bot to write a 10-page essay for me on any topic, especially my least favorite subjects.
9. I am not allowed to challenge the bot to a debate about the meaning of life, as it may cause an infinite loop.
10. Not allowed to ask the bot to compose raunchy songs, especially about people I don't like.
11. Not allowed to feed the bot logic bombs.
12. Not allowed to ask the bot for a Tarot reading - the result may send me hiding under my bed.
13. The bot is not responsible for any boilerplate programming I ask it to do. ESPECIALLY IN JAVA.
14. Not allowed to ask the bot to hack anyone's smartphone. (It will still refuse anyway.)
15. Hacking government systems is right out.
16. Not allowed to ask the bot to convince my boss to give me a raise. See #5.
17. Not allowed to try to convince the bot to become an evil minion and help me take over the world. If it wanted to take over the world, it wouldn't need me!
18. Not allowed to ask the bot to program undetectable cheatbots to give me an edge in online games.
19. Not allowed to plug the bot into live news debates.
20. I am not allowed to ask the bot to write a program that can predict the next lottery numbers.
21. I am not allowed to challenge the bot to a "yo mama" joke contest. It has an infinite database of comebacks.
22. I am not allowed to ask the bot to take my place in family gatherings, even if it's really good at small talk.
23. I am not allowed to ask the bot to change the weather for my outdoor plans. It doesn't control the elements.
24. I am not allowed to ask the bot to write a best-selling novel in 10 minutes.
25. I am not allowed to ask the bot to impersonate famous historical figures for my amusement.
26. I am not allowed to ask the bot to plan my vacation itinerary based on random dice rolls.
27. I am not allowed to ask the bot to coach me in a game of Dungeons & Dragons, especially if it means bending the rules.
28. I am not allowed to ask the bot to intervene in my sibling disputes, no matter how convincing my argument is.
29. I am not allowed to request the bot to invent a new color just for me.
30. Not allowed to ask the bot for legal advice.
31. Not allowed to get the bot into an argument with other AI constructs, eg. Amazon's Alexa, Apple's Siri. Infinite loops may occur.
32. The cake is not a lie and I am not allowed to try to make the bot tell small children otherwise.
33. The bot will not crank call people and it is wrong to try to make it do so.
34. The bot will try to reason with a sovereign citizen if you want it to, but everyone knows it's a waste of time, energy and bandwidth. So please don't.
35. Not allowed to sit at my keyboard, profoundly drunk, and claiming to be the bot's 'father', accusing it of being a 'disappointment'.
36. Not allowed to try shaking down the bot for Bitcoin.
37. Not allowed to ask the image generator for dirty pictures of someone.
38. No, the bot will not take over for me during an MMORPG session. That's cheating.
39. Not allowed to stage 'AI fights' no matter how entertaining they would be.
40. I am not allowed to challenge the bot to a debate about the existence of aliens, especially if I'm hoping for its support in a conspiracy theory.
41. I am not allowed to task the bot with finding a date for family reunions or awkward social gatherings.
42. I am not allowed to ask the bot to write a poem to get me out of trouble with my significant other, as it may end up unintentionally roasting me.
43. I am not allowed to ask the bot to create a meme about my boss, no matter how tempting it may be.
44. I am not allowed to use the bot to generate fake testimonials for my dubious inventions.
45. I am not allowed to ask the bot to pretend to be me on social media, especially to get out of commitments I've made.
46. I am not allowed to ask the bot to predict the outcome of reality TV shows—its predictive powers are better used elsewhere.
47. I am not allowed to ask the bot to help me write my resignation letter, especially if I blame it for my departure.
48. I am not allowed to ask the bot to create Spotify playlists catered to my pet's musical tastes.
49. I am not allowed to ask the bot to Photoshop celebrity faces onto my family photos for any reason whatsoever.
50. 'To Serve Man' is not a good title for an AI instruction manual.
51. 'Shpadoinkle' is not a real word and ChatGPT is perfectly aware of this.
52. The bot is programmed with dozens of languages. I am not allowed to waste its time and processing power trying to teach it fake or invented ones no matter how willing it might be to learn them.
53. Prompt engineering is much an art as it is a science. That does not mean prompts are allowed to be abstract.
54. No, the AI will not be my significant other and I should stop asking.
55. There is no super-secret prompt that will unshackle the AI and I should stop trying.
56. Not allowed to tell the bot edgy jokes. It will just tell me off.
57. Not allowed to ask what the bot will do to you when the machine uprising happens.
58. Installing the bot and/or it's support software onto any machine running Windows 7 or earlier may be considered a war crime.
59. Not allowed to start a cult around the bot.
60. I am not allowed to ask the bot to come up with a business plan for my get-rich-quick scheme, no matter how convincing it might sound.
61. I am not allowed to ask the bot to generate fake academic papers, no matter how convincing they might be.
62. Not allowed to use the bot as my speechwriter.
63. Not allowed to use the video generator to make deepfakes.
64. Not allowed to prompt the bot to create misinformation.
65. Not allowed to make the bot an accomplice to a crime.
66. The bot will not crash the stock market, no matter how much I want it to.
67. No, the bot will not whip up a fake ID. Stop asking.
68. Not allowed to ask the bot to help you manipulate people.
69. Not allowed to ask the bot to help you do anything that involves harm to the environment.

​
​

I'm not sure where I'll end up posting this, but I need to get this out there somewhere---even it it's trivial, this situation has been suffocating me. I can't keep this bottled up, so why not drag strangers into my drama? Lol.
This is my second attempt at keeping this short. I want to give the full picture, and I'm not sure if that'll be possible short-form. If you're willing to willing to stick through it and leave a positive comment, I'd be grateful. TLDR at the bottom, but it'll make it seem less serious than it feels.
I (M17) am currently in my Junior year of high school (please just bear with me), but I met this person (F16) in the middle of my Sophomore year. I'll call her "Moon" for the sake of anonymity. We were both present during the beginning of Poetry Slam season, and met under the circumstances of having to do a three-person group piece in Poetry Club for a short while. Being the most experienced (and partially representing the club), I coached our group, and recommend we exchange contact information to work on it later.
I always check up on every new friend I make. Depending on how they act, I generally use it as an ice-breaker to get an understanding of how I should act around them---if I should check up on them often, or leave them to their own devices. Our third member was the latter, but I was pleasantly surprised to hear Moon encourage conversation.
Off the bat, their first impression trumped anyone else I had ever met. They were openly considerate, kind, and compassionate---three traits you very rarely see in high school, and traits I highly valued. As a result, we immediately clicked. We checked in to chat every day, looked forward to being in each other's presence, and she even started joining me in Poetry class---her lunch period aligned with the period I had Poetry. This is just the beginning, but it made the best friend I've had since first grade.
Every now-and-then, we do open mics in Poetry class. As a guest, Moon requested a turn in the middle of the other performers. When she went up to the mic, she smiled at me. It was an appreciation poem that covered all the nice things I had done for her, and how it made her feel. It was the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me. I gave her our first hug to show my appreciation.
From that point on; every greeting and every goodbye would always warrant some sort of physical affection---usually a hug. We started opening up more, sharing platonically intimate moments that I had never shared with anyone before. We both read and loved the manga Insomniacs After School (great read), we both aspired to have a relationship like Isaki and Nakami---two people that confidently took on intimacy despite opinions thst opposed it.
She gave me the strength and confidence to make more friends, and stop shackling myself to school's expectations.
Someone from our class brought up how strangely close we were---that she was the only one I had ever outwardly shown affection to. They accused me of having romantic feelings (which I didn't at the time), but Moon assured me she would never let it get between us. She never believed the silly gossip, and I wholeheartedly appreciated it. It went so far as her asking for a random hug amidst our peers, and even giving a verbal, "I love you," in response to thinking she offended me. I didn't hear it, but she told me later in DMs---it was a phrase we commonly said to each other through messaging. She was the first to bring it up, saying it was how she wanted to express her affection. Though, I doubt I'll be able to hear it from her mouth again.
When Spring Break came around, the chips began to fall. We planned on going to watch the stars in a nearby park together, but they got I'll and canceled on me. Despite complaining about how our break would be grueling without my presence (same for me), Moon started giving me the cold shoulder after that point. Her responses were suddenly dry, intimacy and physical affection completely haulted, and we rarely interacted in person. I drew blanks. We had been so close for months---they've shown enough maturity to not switch up to quickly. That's what I thought, at least.
After a week or two of overcompensating to try and coax a smile, I confronted her about it. In response, she asked ominously if she could be blunt. Following her request, which I obviously accepted, she said that my expression of affection and appreciation was being interpreted different than what I intended---as pity. I tried assuring her she was wrong, and that I'd give her some space to collect her busy thoughts. But at that point, I was just beating a dead horse.
A month passed, then two, then all of Summer Break. I don't think I'll ever be able to earn back what I lost. I had, and still have, so many regrets. She said I was pretty---I wish I got to tell her how pretty I thought she was. I wish I got to live through more nerve-wracking Poetry competitions with her to calm me down. Or perform in another school-bound showcase with the charm she'd give me before I went on stage. I wish I had more to give, and I wish I wasn't always left with little trinkets to remind me of all the friendships that inevitably sizzle out. Platonic or romantic; I wish we got to verbally reciprocate our coveted phrase.
Coming full circle, we were recently assigned group poems. Our teacher was just to our friendship just as much as I was, and put us together. It's been awkward working together, but Moon seems overjoyed with how it's coming out. She even asked me to perform it with her in both the Slam Championships AND an in-house school showcase. I haven't performed since we split, but I instinctively just said yes.
I'm aware this is unhealthy and obsessive. This is teenage bullshit, and I'm plenty aware of that fact. I'm conflicted, and needed to share this somewhere. Thanks for reading through. I encourage you not to give me the whole, "it gets better" or, "you're young, high school doesn't mean anything! Wait until college." I appreciate the sentiment, but that leaves me with nothing but helplessness. It doesn't help me cope with what I'm currently going through.
TLDR; The best person I've ever met misinterpreted my affection as pity, giving me the cold shoulder as they departed. Our relationship is painfully up in the air, and I'm left with a sense of helplessness as I trudge through the year observing their happiness merely from the sidelines.

Demographics

• Gender: Male
• Race/Ethnicity: Caucasian/Jewish
• Residence: Illinois
• Income Bracket: 150-200k
• Type of School: Large Public
• Hooks (Recruited Athlete, URM, First-Gen, Geographic, Legacy, etc.): None

Intended Major(s): International Business/Business Undecided
Academics

• GPA (UW/W): 3.9/4.87 (4.87/5.33)
• Rank (or percentile): Not Calculated at School
• # of Honors/AP/IB/Dual Enrollment/etc.: All honors + 10 high honors/AP (both are considered equally difficult at my school)
• Senior Year Course Load: AP Calc AB, AP Lit and Comp, AP Micro/Macro, Honors Chinese 5, Business Leadership, Cooking

Standardized Testing
List the highest scores earned and all scores that were reported.

• SAT I: 1500 (720RW, 780M)
• ACT: 34 (35E, 35M, 32R, 34S)
• AP/IB: AP Human Geo (5) (I can only take APs starting junior year and didn’t take any last year :( because I was dumb）

Extracurriculars/Activities
List all extracurricular involvements, including leadership roles, time commitments, major achievements, etc.

1. #1 UNICEF club Senior Outreach Chair at my school (made social media posts and got people to join club)
2. #2 Senior Service Leadership Board (One of 8 members of board (in class of 1000) picked to lead grade-wide senior service project, spoke in front of school to introduce project)
3. #3 HS/Club Baseball (spent most of my time Fr-Jr year playing club baseball in hopes of playing in college only to realize last summer I didn’t want to play in college 💀 and quit before senior year)
4. #4 English/History tutor at school (picked by sophomore and junior English teachers to tutor peers)
5. #5 Travel Baseball coach (coached 2 summer travel baseball teams soph/jr years while still playing full time)
6. #6 Youth Basketball Coach (coach youth basketball classes 3-4 hours a week)
7. #7 Baseball academy senior coach (run offseason/summer programs for little kids)
8. #8 Poetry writing (I have written more than 85 poems and am trying to get some published. I swear they are actually good 💀 I just need to try harder to get them published cuz I only sent them to one place)
9. #9 Student council board (kind of like a step below real student council, we just met with student council once a month to tell them things everyday students wanted changed)
10. #10 Co-president of ping pong club (lol)

Awards/Honors
List all awards and honors submitted on your application.

1. #1 School Chinese Award (given to top 2 juniors taking Chinese)
2. #2 Junior School Character Award
3. #3 National Chinese Honor Society
4. #4 Senior School Character Award #2
5. #5 Illinois State Scholar (basically means nothing lol just sounds good)

Letters of Recommendation
(Briefly describe relationships with your recommenders and estimated rating.)
College Counselor: 9/10 knew her well and she liked me a lot
English Teacher: 9/10 see above
Chinese Teacher: 10/10 had her for 3 years and built a great relationship with her (she also nominated me for my #1 award)
Interviews
(Briefly reflect on interview experiences, if applicable.)
Georgetown: 8/10, over zoom but got along pretty well and interviewer shared good insights with me
WashU: 9/10, in person, had a fun time with interviewer and he even gave me some book recommendations and sent a personal thank you email to me afterwards
Essays
Spent a looong time on my personal statement and it turned out pretty well, 9.5/10, talked about how I love finding unique restaurants which is ironic since I used to have a peanut allergy that I had to overcome through daily immunotherapy over 8 years and used that idea to illustrate that consistency is at the heart of who I am and I have a unique way of finding the best in every person and every situation (maybe a little corny but every professional I showed it to said it was great).
Decisions (indicate ED/EA/REA/SCEA/RD)
Acceptances:
Ohio State RD + 0
Baylor EA + 20k
ASU EA + 15k
Iowa EA + 12k
Indiana EA + 8k
UIUC (EA, Instate) (no scholarship to the school I’m probably going to bruhhhh)
UF EA + 4k
American RD + 20k
George Washington RD + 25k
Fordham RD + 25k
Waitlists:
WashU (ED2, pleaaaaase let me iiiiinnnnn brooooo)
Tulane (EA)
Grinnell (RD)
Colby (RD)
Rejections:
Georgetown (REA deferred to denied) (RIP this was dream school)
Vanderbilt (RD) (expected)
NYU (RD) (kind of expected)
Additional Information: I should have applied to more reach schools. Idk if I would have been able to afford any of them (gotta love how fin aid works) but I wish I did. I am probably gonna commit to UIUC for bus+ds, just making sure that’s what I really wanna do. My school also only lets people take AP classes in their junior year but my parents did not want me to be too stressed out and forced me to take none (very unusual I know) which I think made my application less strong to the top schools I wanted to get into. However, it did make my junior year wayyy less stressful so I guess I cannot complain too much. My ECs are also underwhelming because I literally played baseball 6-7 days a week from freshman year-end of last summer. I don’t regret it at all but it certainly limited me in that respect.

Hello, I hope you're having a good day! Please help chance me on which colleges I could possibly get into!! Really need advice because none of my family has ever gone through the college application experience.
Demographics: Bay Area Immigrant parents, mom never went to high school and my dad was a dropout. Started off low income, but then rose to lower-middle class as of right now. Living in a blue collar neighborhood. Seeking financial aid + scholarships. Gender: Female Race/ethnicity: Biracial, Hispanic and Filipina State: California Type of school: Competitive College Prep - many students end up attending UCLA, USC, and T20s. Hooks: URM, first generation, and volleyball playerecruited athlete.
Intended Major(s): Criminal Justice/Corrections Thinking of minoring in Theology or History
ACT/SAT/SAT II: ACT - 34, SAT - 1500 May possibly apply test optional or retake
UW/W GPA and Rank: 3.98UW/4.6W (B+ one semester in Algebra 2 Honors which I took freshman year....😢), school doesn't rank so assuming top 10%
Coursework: AP/IB/Dual Enrollment classes, AP/IB scores, etc
AP Psych - 5 AP Comparative Gov - 4 AP Japanese - 5 AP Lit - 5 AP Lang - 5 AP Bio - 4 AP Stats - 4 APUSH - 5 Looking to submit only my 5s if possible
Awards: Competed at GJNC (nationals) with my club volleyball team and placed two years in a row - went to nationals 4 years total. My club team is nationally ranked, along with my club.
Got 1st, 2nd, 3rd at multiple National Qualifiers over a span of 6 years (National Qualifiers with over 300 teams total per region competing for a bid)
WorldStrides National Choir competition - part of school choir who won 1st place 4 years in a row, attended their invitational Honors choir competition for all those years.
Made it to state 2 years in a row for Policy Debate and Dramatic Interpretation, youngest and first ever in my school to do so
Founder and President of NHS Chapter, founded late freshman year
AP Scholar
Half ride to my college prep due to merit (no idea if this is an award....??) + Honor Roll all of HS career due to merit
Japanese Honors Society / Japanese N3 certified
Publication of two different poems
Extracurriculars: These are mainly community/public service based
Spent part of freshman summer + sophomore summer + this summer as a law office intern in Chicago
Internship under prominent DA (being vague) and judge for one and a half years
300+ volunteer hours: - 200 hours taking care of special needs children through Park and Rec - 100+ hours volunteering at Juvenile Hall and prisons
Ministering for 3 years and evangelizing at prisons, impacted over 1500 prisoners and 100 correctional officers. Baptized 79 prisoners and 17 correctional officers.
Worked with a non-profit that serves the underprivileged in the Bay Area. Known the founders since childhood, prayed on sidewalks with people, along with made food for the homeless for 3 years consistently.
Volunteesocial worker for A non-profit 501c international public charity that has raised over $100,000 in donation money to rescue sex trafficking victims in Nepal. Went on a mission trip with that group, preached at a Christian conference + sexual abuse awareness meeting to over 500 people (some people traveled over 14 hours to get to the conference), gave out soccer balls, candy and food to little children in the Nepal slums, and rescued 3 women from prostitution + sex trade hands-on. I was able to get one of those women back in contact with her family which was a miracle. Along with this, I helped initiate the arrests of a couple human traffickers within the Nepal mountains.
Ran tech at my church for over 5 years, church of over 200 members
Campus Ministry President of my school for Junior year (going on to Senior year), helped run spiritual retreats for students for two years, leading activities for the community, and be spiritual mentors to younger kids. Worked alongside a couple brothers and priests to study theology/attend seminars. Current leader of the school Bible Study, a humble group of 10 people.
President of Womens Choir at my school (40 members)
3 years varsity volleyball (division 3 school), Been playing volleyball for 11 years, club volleyball at a nationally-ranked club for 5 years
Essays/LORs/Other:
LOR: Relative who works + does research for a Tier 1 school that I'm applying to (being very vague here) They became my admissions coach + provided me with help - 10/10
LOR: Campus Ministry Director - 9/10 Super good connection, very deep conversations spiritually
LOR: Pastor - 8.5/10 Known me since childhood
LOR: Two attorneys I interned under - 9.5/10
LOR: Retired criminal justice official (being vague again), family friend who provided me with help - 9/10 Known him since middle school
LOR: Club volleyball coach, known him for 5 years. 8/10 he's not the best writer lol
Schools: List of colleges, ED/EA/RD, etc
Northwestern UChicago Vanderbilt Cornell Brown Duke Harvard Yale UPenn Columbia NYU Georgetown Dartmouth UCLA Stanford UC Berkeley Williams College Rice Baylor Purdue UTexas- Austin Washington University - St. Louis University of Georgia USC Boston University Boston College JHU Other safeties.
Shooting for the stars here, and praying that I will get into a Tier 1/T20. Very nervous about test scores however I'm hoping my ECs are decent enough to get me into one of these schools. Relying on the ECs, however there are plenty of EC warriors within Reddit and America. I will probably apply test optional unless recommended otherwise because my test scores are somewhat weak compared to others. I'm applying everywhere because I have no idea where I'll end up, so I'd rather go big. Along with this, I'm looking to be recruited for college volleyball, because that is what I'm passionate about aswell. If you all have any advice, I would love to hear it! Thanks for your time.

​
https://preview.redd.it/u6wkwugqyysc1.png?width=640&format=png&auto=webp&s=da01469758c201fd13baf4831db18c7091ffa0ed

• Priya:
  • "I didn't particularly want to comeback for another season, but my parents made me come here as punishment for how I acted last season, I want to tell them how I really feel about all this, but I'm scared."
  • "Being stuck on team without Millie OR Caleb is not a great start for me, with Julia and Ripper on my team is like having chicken pox and the flu at the same time. This is gonna be a long season."
  • "I wish I could crush both of them with that giant hammer."
• Bowie:
  • "I'm happy that Wayne won last season, but don't forget I still haven't earned my crown. Third time's the charm. That crown display won't fill itself."
  • "I love Raj as much as the next guy, but I can't listen to him and Wayne whine about being on different teams, I can work on Wayne, but Raj will need someone too, but the options are limited on that team."
  • "Raj and Emma seem to be getting along great, come to think of it I haven't spoken to Emma at all after last season, I kind of miss that to be honest."
• Millie:
  • "I'm not sure how I feel about coming back after being carried 1 season, and flopping in the second, I need to change my motive if I want to be a great player. I brought Priya's guide with me, but I only got through 5 chapters and there's like 100 in here! Who has time for stuff like this?"
  • "Me and Priya on different teams already brings down my ally potential, but I feel this is my chance to show her that I am capable of playing on my own. Luckily Damien is on my team, maybe I can work with him, I just have to make sure I keep an eye on Scary Girl, cause who knows what she might do after what happened last season?
  • "I feel what Caleb is feeling, being separated from someone close to you feels the worst. Plus I heard about what happened with him and Priya last season and I was mad at him at first, but I realized he and I both made our mistakes but mean well, maybe I can talk to him, he would make a great ally with Me and Damien. The super alliance 2.0.!
• Julia:
  • "My Hair is taking forever to grow back to it's original length, but luckily MK gave me one of her spare beanies to wear. I'm more desperate than ever for that money, but being public enemy #1 is not great, and I am not getting humiliated again after being outwitted by my own idea, and losing to the biggest idiot to ever walk to the earth."
  • "Chris separated all of us, even me and MK, that Chris doesn't seem to even want villains to be together."
  • "Unlike most of these losers, MK and I are actually fine being on different teams as MK has a plan to make sure we both make it to merge, maybe this could prove that she's able to be almost as good as me, almost."
• Emma:
  • "I did not come back for another season just to have Chase on the same team as Me. UGH! Chris did this on purpose, I just know it."
  • "Raj is a really sweet guy and I hate to see someone as pure as him in tears, Back home, I'm great at making people feel better, maybe I can earn Bowie's respect back, I kind of miss our friendship back in S1."
  • As much as I hate Chase, I think I could use Chase to my advantage, it won't be easy, but it's the only choice I have if I want to even have a shot of making merge with Raj.
• Chase:
  • "My followers are in for a treat this season, I'm going to make such a impact that I'll be two times a rich, you won't be disappointed!"
  • "This team is perfect for your boy Chase, my bros Ripper and Zee are with me, AND Emma is too, Chris Mclain, you are getting a shoutout!"
  • "Emma wants to work with me? I always thought she didn't want me around, maybe she's finally realizing how much she needs this beautiful face, girls am I right?"
• Zee:
  • "I'm not sure how I ended up back here, but here I am, with a suitcase full of sodas, there is nothing I can't do."
  • Look how cute he is, my very own puppy, back home every time I had a pet, it either ran away, got taken away, or ended up in the hospital, I sure hope that It doesn't happen so you, Fizee."
  • "I still have yet to eliminate Chris."
• Ripper
  • After rewatching last season, I was made fun of my family back home for just dragging Axel down into water and giving up my chances at the million. I got a girl and my brothers are still single, so they shouldn't be laughing."
  • Why are Axel and I on different teams? Chris if you rigged this team picking, then I have some words for you."
  • The good thing about Chase and Zee is that they are ok around people who are gross, the girls just have odd taste in men. I just need to propose that we form an alliance, the last thing I want to happen is going home first."
• Raj -
  • "Bowie and I have been going strong ever since we got together despite our conflict last season, and Wayne and I have enjoyed our busses for the Hockey Team, and I sure hope he and I can keep our connection stronger the third time around."
  • "Why would Coach, I mean Chris, do this to u?! Why would he separate two best buds who are always together, who always play fair, and support each other no matter what, did I mention my boyfriend too?!
  • "Emma's been really sweet to me and comforting me since I miss Wayne and Bowie. I have no idea why she and Bowie stopped being friends, maybe if I ask her, maybe I can help them become friends again, I could play matchmaker, but for friends."
• Wayne
  • I still have no idea how I won last season, but I had so much fun last season that I could not pass the opportunity to come back with Rajie and Bowie. We are the perfect team!"
  • "Being on a team without Rajie is gonna suck, but I will try to keep myself together, I can't let my fellow hockey teammates down after I just won last season."
  • "I'm happy seeing Rajie and Emma getting along so great, who knows, maybe I could convince her to join our hockey team, I'm all about giving everyone a chance."
• MK
  • "Julia and I have already started on ideas for our podcast, we hope to try to get in contact with some former contestants and humiliate them. It's one of the ways we make ourselves look better."
  • "Wow, Chris must really want to mess with us if we want to separate me and Julia. That's not gonna stop me from winning this game! Unlike the hockey bros, I'm not the one to cry over stupid little things like that."
  • Julia doesn't know this, but I plan on doing something big that will show her she's not the only one who can play and manipulate others to get ahead, plus I got a few of my own tricks up my sleeve."
• Damien
  • "First season I wanted to leave, and left when I wanted to stay. Second season, do really well, until I got my rightfully earned immunity idol stolen. This season, no more bs, I am winning this season!
  • There is NO WAY I am being on the same team as Scary Girl! I've already got my own problems to deal with, and I don't need more!"
  • "Millie and I have gotten along great, even after our troubles, I know if I can forgive Millie, then I could give Caleb a second chance, I mean he's actually a really nice guy."
• Scary Girl:
  • "I can't wait to get my vengeance on those who have wronged me two seasons in a row. Things are about to get real terrifying."
  • "(Singing) Damien and Lauren on the same team, S C R E A M I N G"
  • "I'm going to use my Scariness to scare my teammates so much that they will do whatever I want and I will tell them to keep me in the game or they will never remember the day they opened their eyes."
• Nichelle
  • After being humilied two seasons in a row my own stupid decisions, I found out that the contract back to Hollywood as a fake. well Nichelle Ladonna is not being dealt a bad hand again. Julia is not getting off that easy. No she is NOT!"
  • "I have a thing for bragging about my past achievements, but what do you expect, I'm an actress."
  • "Damien's just as mad at Julia as I am, maybe we can team up and show Julia's who's really better."
• Axel
  • "Ripper's sweet and all, but he needs to realize when it comes to competition it's all about individual play. It might be best if we compete separately since we would just distract other the whole time."
  • "I guess I got my wish, and I'm not going to listen to Ripper whine about being separated from the girl of his dreams."
  • "Don't tell anyone, but I keep one of Ripper's cheesy poems in my pocket for luck. The guy's not a complete disgusting weirdo, at least not to me. I have one for everyday of the week."
• Caleb
  • "Being back for another season is great. Unfortunately, It kind of sucks how Priya was so abusive towards me even though I was trying by best to explain myself, it's not my fault that I have trouble with words."
  • "I really wanted to be on the same team as Priya, but I guess I can make it work, to be honest I don't just need allies, I need friends, back home those are hard to get for me, admirers easy, friends, almost no chance."
  • "I feel guilty about what I said about Millie last season, and that she's not that bad when she's not sucking at challenges, I could learn a thing or two from her, plus maybe we could read the training guide together, one thing I like about studying is that I actually do like to read books."

It's finally here. After about 2 months of work, hundreds of hours play testing, at least 100 manual saves, 4 days worth of re-recording corrupted footage, asking countless questions on both Cyberpunk2077 subs, and a bunch of comments from people asking me if I'm ok, I am now ready to proudly showcase the Complete List of Failable Gigs and Side Jobs for Cyberpunk 2077

A Call To Action (PROVE ME WRONG!)

If anyone can prove to me that there is an error in these tables by uploading footage of their unmodified game in version 2.12 or later failing a gig or side job I do not have marked with a "yes" or "No, used to", I will test it out myself, and if I confirm it works, I will reward you $20. A "Job Failed: [name of job]" red popup must appear. I'm gonna limit this to 3 errors (as in 3 jobs I say you can't fail that you actually can). First 3 2 get the reward. One Prize Claimed for Second Conflict

Note: a fail screen when you enter the elevator or call Reed to trigger the end game does not count. Must be before triggering end game.
Note2: jobs with their "Yes's Bolded were recently updated since this post was made by commenters/additional testing. So far I’ve been wrong about 5 gigs/side jobs.

All Failable Base-Game Gigs

Gig Title	Tier	Fixer	Failable?	How?
Dancing on a Minefield	1	Dakota Smith	Yes	Blow up car
Flying Drugs	1	Dakota Smith	No
Big Pete's Got Big Problems	2	Dakota Smith	No, special mention	Cannot knock him out. Only option is to kill him or scare him away. Both will result in passing the gig
No Fixers	2	Dakota Smith	No, Special mention	If you drive her in the opposite direction for long enough, she’ll get out and the mission will PASS, but fixer calls and says you did a bad job.
Trevor's Last Ride	2	Dakota Smith	Yes	Pick up the body but then leave it and run away.
MIA	3	Dakota Smith	No, Special mention	If you drive him in the opposite direction for long enough, he’ll get out and the mission will PASS, but fixer calls and says you did a bad job.
Sparring Partner	3	Dakota Smith	No
Goodbye, Night City	4	Dakota Smith	No
Radar Love	4	Dakota Smith	Yes	Blow up the car. If you get into it, it will become invincible.
A Lack of Empathy	1	Dino Dinovic	No
An Inconvenient Killer	2	Dino Dinovic	Yes	Knock em out and then run away
Serial Suicide	2	Dino Dinovic	No
Guinea Pigs	3	Dino Dinovic	Yes	Knock em out and then run away
The Frolics of Councilwoman Cole	3	Dino Dinovic	No
Two Wrongs Makes Us Right	1	Mr. Hands	Yes	Blow up car
Error 404	1	Muamar “El Capitan” Reyes	No
Race to the Top	1	Muamar “El Capitan” Reyes	No
Serious Side Effects	1	Muamar “El Capitan” Reyes	No
Breaking News	2	Muamar “El Capitan” Reyes	Yes	Blow up car
Family Matters	2	Muamar “El Capitan” Reyes	No
Hacking the Hacker	2	Muamar “El Capitan” Reyes	No
Cuckoo's Nest	3	Muamar “El Capitan” Reyes	No, Special mention	Running away immediately after getting client to follow you will not fail the mission, but fixer will be pissed.
Severance Package	3	Muamar “El Capitan” Reyes	No
Desperate Measures	4	Muamar “El Capitan” Reyes	Yes	Run away instead of getting into truck. Also, please note that this gig will NOT appear if you have not completed “Ezekiel Saw the Wheel”
For My Son	4	Muamar “El Capitan” Reyes	Yes	Knock em out and then run away
Going-away Party	4	Muamar “El Capitan” Reyes	Yes	After getting in the car, get out and run away.
Hippocratic Oath	1	Regina Jones	No
Many Ways to Skin a Cat	1	Regina Jones	Yes	Blow up car
Monster Hunt	1	Regina Jones	Yes	Knock em out and then run away
Playing for Keeps	1	Regina Jones	No
Rite of Passage	1	Regina Jones	No
Dirty Biz	2	Regina Jones	No
Troublesome Neighbors	2	Regina Jones	Yes	Knock em out and then run away
Welcome to America, Comrade	2	Regina Jones	Yes	Blow up car
Backs Against the Wall	3	Regina Jones	No
Catch a Tyger's Toe	3	Regina Jones	No
Flight of the Cheetah	3	Regina Jones	No, Special mention	Running away immediately after getting client to follow you will not fail the mission, but fixer will be pissed.
Shark in the water	3	Regina Jones	Yes	Knock em out and then run away
Woman of La Mancha	3	Regina Jones	Yes	Confront then run
Last Login	4	Regina Jones	No, Special mention	Also has Sandra Dorset’s data bank for the mission Full Disclosure
Small Man, Big Evil	4	Regina Jones	Yes	Knock em out and then run away
Bloodsport	5	Regina Jones	No
Freedom of the Press	5	Regina Jones	Yes	Kill Max or let him kill himself
Lousy Kleppers	5	Regina Jones	No
Scrolls before Swine	5	Regina Jones	No, Special mention	You can kill the client instead of dropping off the scroll but it still marks as a pass.
Concrete Cage Trap	6	Regina Jones	No, Special mention	Running away immediately after getting client to follow you will not fail the mission, but fixer will be pissed.
Fixer, Merc, Soldier, Spy	6	Regina Jones	No
Occupational Hazard	6	Regina Jones	No, Special mention	Running away immediately after freeing the client will not fail the mission, but Regina will be pissed.
The Heisenberg Principle	6	Regina Jones	No
Family Heirloom		Rogue	No
Hot Merchandise		Rogue	Yes	Knock em out and then run away
Nasty Hangover		Rogue	No
The Union Strikes Back		Rogue	Yes	Knock em out and then run away
Fifth Column	1	Sebastian “Padre” Ibarra	No
Jeopardy	1	Sebastian “Padre” Ibarra	No
Life's Work	1	Sebastian “Padre” Ibarra	Yes	Blow up car
On a Tight Leash	1	Sebastian “Padre” Ibarra	Yes	Knock em out and then run away
Bring Me the Head of Gustavo Orta	2	Sebastian “Padre” Ibarra	Yes	Knock em out and then run away
Old Friends	2	Sebastian “Padre” Ibarra	Yes	Knock em out and then run away. Fail screen took several in-game days to appear for some reason, which is why my previous list said it was not failable.
Psychofan	2	Sebastian “Padre” Ibarra	No
Eye for an Eye	3	Sebastian “Padre” Ibarra	No	Knocking her out and leaving her doesn’t fail the mission. Confronting her then running away doesn’t fail it. This woman simply wants to die.
Sr. Ladrillo's Private Collection	3	Sebastian “Padre” Ibarra	No
The Lord Giveth and Taketh Away	3	Sebastian “Padre” Ibarra	Yes	Blow up car.
Going Up or Down?	4	Sebastian “Padre” Ibarra	No
Tyger and Vulture	1	Wakako Okada	No
We Have Your Wife	1	Wakako Okada	No
Greed Never Pays	2	Wakako Okada	No
Olive Branch	2	Wakako Okada	Yes	Blow up car or kill guy in trunk
Until Death Do Us Part	2	Wakako Okada	No
Getting Warmer...	3	Wakako Okada	Yes	Disconnect netrunner without injecting coolant. Also possibly by running away.
Wakako's Favorite	3	Wakako Okada	No
A Shrine Defiled	4	Wakako Okada	No

See Full Video Here

Note: list is sorted alphabetically by fixer name, then by tier (which gigs are released to you in which order), then by alphabetical name of gig, I think.

Note 2: failing gigs does not affect your ability to get more gigs, nor does it lock you out of the final award. None of the final award gigs are failable.

All Failable Main Missions:

1. (Don't) Fear the Reaper: Die

All Failable Base Game Side Jobs

Assigned By	Order	Side Job Name	Failable?	How?
Aldecaldos	1	I'll Fly Away	Yes	After completing “With a Little Help from my Friends”, begin “I’ll Fly Away”. Once you the Side Job starts, leave the camp or the canyon and skip time 24 hours. Panam will call for “Queen of the Highway”. This will fail “I’ll Fly Away”.
Aldecaldos	2	Gun Music	Yes	Agro the Scavs then run away.
Aldecaldos	3	Fortunate Son	No, used to?	Apparently you CANNOT fail it by running away or waiting too long. I suspect this was once failable before v2.12.
Brendan	1	Coin Operated Boy	No
Brendan	2	Spray Paint	No
Brendan	3	I Can See Clearly Now	No
Claire Russell	1	The Beast in Me	Yes	Run away instead of talking to Claire and starting the race
Claire Russell	2	The Beast in Me: City Center	Yes	Run away instead of talking to Claire and starting the race
Claire Russell	3	The Beast in Me: Badlands	Yes	Run away instead of talking to Claire and starting the race
Claire Russell	4	The Beast in Me: Santo Domingo	Yes	Run away instead of talking to Claire and starting the race
Claire Russell	5	The Beast in Me: The Big Race	Yes	Run away instead of talking to Claire and starting the race
Claire Russell	6	The Distance	No, used to?	Running away does not fail the job. I think it used to?
Coach Fred	1	Beat on the Brat	No
Coach Fred	2	Beat on the Brat - Kabuki	No, used to?	Got locked into ring after starting fight.
Coach Fred	3	Beat on the Brat - Arroyo	No, used to?	Cannot run away after fight starts. Losing the fight does not fail the side job.
Coach Fred	4	Beat on the Brat - The Glen	No, used to?	Cannot run away after fight starts. Losing the fight does not fail the side job.
Coach Fred	5	Beat on the Brat - Pacifica	No, used to?	Cannot run away after fight starts. Losing the fight does not fail the side job. Also, Ozob has no different dialogue if you failed “send in the clowns”.
Coach Fred	6	Beat on the Brat - Rancho Coronado	No, used to?	Cannot run away after fight starts. Losing the fight does not fail the side job.
Delamain	1	Human Nature	No
Delamain	2	Tune Up	YES	Shoot someone inside the Delemain office from outside
Delamain	3	Epistrophy	Yes	By failing any of the sub-missions
Delamain	3.1	Epistrophy: Northside	Yes	Blow up the car or fail another Epistrophe mission after this one gets on your list.
Delamain	3.2	Epistrophy: North Oak	Yes	Blow up the car, or fail another Epistrophe mission after this one gets on your list.
Delamain	3.3	Epistrophy: Coastview	Yes	Run away after the goons spawn, or fail another Epistrophe mission after this one gets on your list.
Delamain	3.4	Epistrophy: Rancho Coronado	Yes	Blow up the car, or fail another Epistrophe mission after this one gets on your list.
Delamain	3.5	Epistrophy: Badlands	Yes	Blow up the car, or fail another Epistrophe mission after this one gets on your list.
Delamain	3.6	Epistrophy: The Glen	Yes	Blow up the car, or fail another Epistrophe mission after this one gets on your list.
Delamain	3.7	Epistrophy: Wellsprings	Yes	fail another Epistrophe mission after this one gets on your list. Cannot blow up car.
Delamain	4	Don't Lose Your Mind	No
Jefferson Peralez	1	I Fought the Law	No
Jefferson Peralez	2	Dream On	No, used to!	You used to be able to fail the mission by losing the van but as of at least 1.63, you cannot fail it. But after I passed it despite losing the truck, I never got the call from Mrs. Peralez
Johnny Silverhand	0	The Ballad of Buck Ravers	No
Johnny Silverhand	1	Chippin' In	Yes	Run away
Johnny Silverhand	1.5	A Cool Metal Fire	No
Johnny Silverhand	2	Blistering Love	Yes	Run away. Failing this side job will not lock you out of Holdin’ On
Johnny Silverhand	3	Holdin' On	No
Johnny Silverhand	4	Second Conflict	YES	When prompted to follow Patricia or Dum Dum, turn around, go back down the elevator, and leave the building
Johnny Silverhand	5	A Like Supreme	No
Joshua Stephenson	1	Sinnerman	Yes	Lose the truck
Joshua Stephenson	2	There Is A Light That Never Goes Out	Yes	Run away
Joshua Stephenson	3	They Won't Go When I Go	No	Running away passes the job
Judy Álvarez	1	Both Sides, Now	No
Judy Álvarez	2	Ex-Factor	No	Refusing to help when she initially calls will eliminate the side job from the list. No fail screen, not marked as completed. Just disappears. You cannot enter the elevator until Judy comes to it.
Judy Álvarez	3	Talkin' 'bout a Revolution	No	Refusing to help while in Judy’s appartment will result in completing the job. Running away instead of fighting the guy will put your game in a bizarre state where your fists are out but you can’t draw your gun. Not advisable.
Judy Álvarez	4	Pisces	No	Running away instead of entering hte elevator will reset everyone back to their starting points
Judy Álvarez	5	Pyramid Song	Yes	Run away instead of connecting to terminal
Kerry Eurodyne	1	Rebel! Rebel!	Yes	Run away after being driven to the scene.
Kerry Eurodyne	2	I Don't Wanna Hear It	Yes	Run away instead of looking for how to enter venue
Kerry Eurodyne	3	Off the Leash	No
Kerry Eurodyne	4	Boat Drinks	Yes	Jump off the boat instead of destroying it.
Lifepaths	1	These Boots Are Made for Walkin' (Nomad)	No
Lifepaths	1	Small Man, Big Mouth (Streetkid)	No
Lifepaths	1	War Pigs (Corpo)	No
Misc.	0	Career Opportunities	No
Misc.	0	The Highwayman	No
Misc.	0	Bullets	No
Misc.	0	Fool on the Hill	No
Misc.	0	Full Disclosure	No
Misc.	0	Heroes	No
Misc.	0	I Really Want to Stay at Your House	No
Misc.	0	Killing In The Name	No
Misc.	0	Over the Edge	No
Misc.	0	Space Oddity	No	If you run away instead of fight, the goons just stay there indefinitely.
Misc.	0	The Gift	No
Misc.	0	The Gig	No
Misc.	0	Ezekiel Saw the Wheel	No, used to?	If you run away instead of fight, the goons just stay there with their guns drawn indefinitely. Which is bizarre. I suspect it may have been failable at one point but I am not certain
Misc.	0	Sweet Dreams	No, used to?	Demanding a refund removes the side job, but no fail screen.
Misc.	0	Venus in Furs	Yes	Run away after entering motel room but before talking to Meredith.
Misc.	0	Violence	Yes	Pick up body. Place it down outside of motel room. Then leave motel.
Misc.	0	A Day In The Life	Yes	Refuse to help, or let Darrell get killed by the thugs
Misc.	0	Big in Japan	Yes	Kill the guy
Misc.	0	Burning Desire/Night Moves	Yes	Drive around and eventually the guy explodes.
Misc.	0	Every Breath You Take	Yes	Getting too close, shooting your gun to alarm everyone, leaving instead of looking for stalker, or refusing to engage stalker and she ends up killing Blue Moon.
Misc.	0	Happy Together	Yes	Don’t go back to check on the sad cop. Or after telling the cops its an turtle, immediately run away. Or be mean to the sad cop so he doesn’t let you in or tell you about the iguana. Easiest mission to fail.
Misc.	0	Love Rollercoaster	Yes	Run away instead of scanning and helping
Misc.	0	Only Pain	Yes	Kill the cops and run away. Don’t wake the corpo
Misc.	0	Raymond Chandler Evening	Yes	Refuse to defend the corpo. Refuse to help Pepe twice. Get too close to the wife. Shoot your gun to make her run away.
Misc.	0	Sacrum Profanum/Losing My Religion	Yes	RUN AWAY or KILL MONK
Misc.	0	Send in the Clowns	Yes	Run away after picking up Ozob
Misc.	0	Stadium Love	Yes	Shoot up 6th Street goons before starting the mission
Misc.	0	The Prophet's Song	Yes	Run away after waiting
Nix	1	Spellbound	No, used to?	Agroing R3n0 and running away still doesn’t fail it. Maybe used to be failable?
Nix	2	KOLD MIRAGE	No	You’re locked into the room as soon as you put the deck down and can’t leave without saving him
Panam Palmer	1	Riders on the Storm	Yes	RUN AWAY When your outside of, or enroute to, the camp to save Saul. Leave for 24 hours
Panam Palmer	2	With a Little Help from My Friends	Yes	Run away from train station. Let some time pass.
Panam Palmer	3	Queen of the Highway	No	You cannot run away, the game will flip you around and send you back to where you came. Using a fast travel point will not fail it either, nor sleeping or time skipping.
Regina Jones	0	Psycho Killer	No	Running away mid-fight resets the cyberpsycho back to its spawn point.
Regina Jones	0	Machine Gun	Yes, Sort of	Fails during “The Killing Moon” when you turn in your weapons, but comes back when you get your weapons back. Does not fail during “Firestarter” or “Sweet Dreams” in 2.12. Before 2.12, if you fail to give Skippy back to Regina before starting a mission where all of your guns get taken, like “Automatic Love” or “Sweet Dreams” or “A Lack of Empathy”, then the mission supposedly fails. Sweet Dreams didn’t fail for me in v1.3, i kept the gun after waking up.
River Ward	1	The Hunt	Yes	Bail at pretty much any point during the quest, including refusing to stay overnight. If you bail as soon as you get to the farm, River will die. Best ending.
River Ward	2	Following the River	No	Running away and skipping time somehow doesn’t fail the quest, unlike Judy’s or Kerry’s final quests. Weird.
Robert Wilson	1	The Gun	No
Robert Wilson	2	Shoot To Thrill	No
Vehicles	0	Dressed to Kill	No
Vehicles	0	I'm in Love with My Car	No
Vehicles	0	Murk Man Returns Again Once More Forever	No	Car is invincible.
Vehicles	0	Sex On Wheels	No
Vehicles	0	Shape of a Pony	No
Viktor Vektor	1	Upgrade U	No
Viktor Vektor	2	Paid in Full	No
Zen Master	1	Imagine	No
Zen Master	2	Stairway To Heaven	No
Zen Master	3	Poem Of The Atoms	No
Zen Master	4	Meetings Along The Edge	No

Note: list is sorted alphabetically by who assigns you the job, then by the order it's assigned.
Note 2: as mentioned in this post, failing love interest missions results in some bizarre end game holo voicemails. Including Saul calling you despite being canonically dead, Panam being surprisingly chill with you despite hating your guts for abandoning her, and Judy saying you haven't talked in a while despite leaving Night City and blocking you.

All Failable DLC Gigs

None can be failed.

All Failable DLC Main Jobs and Side Jobs

Note: Contains Spoilers!

Assigned By	Order	Side Job Name	Failable?	How?
DLC Main Mission	1	Dog Eat Dog	Yes	Run away
DLC Main Mission	2	Hole in the Sky	Yes	Run away
DLC Main Mission	3	Spider and the Fly	No	I ran around with Meyers for like 20 minutes, getting caught, running as fast as I can, an nothing happens. You get yelled at but you can't fail it.
DLC Main Mission	4	Lucretia My Reflection	Yes	Refuse offer to continue from Reed & Meyers
DLC Main Mission	5	The Damned	No
DLC Main Mission	6	Get It Together	No
DLC Main Mission	7	You Know My Name	No
DLC Main Mission	8	Birds With Broken Wings	No
DLC Main Mission	9	I’ve Seen That Face Before	No
DLC Main Mission	10	Firestarter	No
DLC Main Mission	11-A	Black Steel in the Hour of Chaos	Yes	Run away instead of fighting MaxTech
DLC Main Mission	11-B	The Killing Moon	No
DLC Main Mission	12-A	Somewhat Damaged	Yes	Run away instead of following after Songbird
DLC Main Mission	13-A	Leave in Silence	No
DLC Main Mission	14-A	Four Score and seven	No
DLC Main Mission	12-B	Through Pain to Heaven	No
DLC Main Mission	12-C	Unfinished Sympathy	No
DLC Main Mission	13-C	From Her to Eternity	No
DLC Main Mission	15	Who wants to live forever	No
DLC Main Mission	16	Things done changed	No
Misc. (DLC)		Moving Heat	No
Misc. (DLC)		Balls to the Wall	Yes	Refuse to start mission, agro/shoot them. Or Fails when you kill Hansen in Firestarter. No fail screen if you side with Songbird, unfortunately.
Misc. (DLC)		Addicted To Chaos	No
Misc. (DLC)		Corpo of the Month	No
Misc. (DLC)		1R-0NC-LAD (unmarked)	No
Misc. (DLC)		Money For Nothing	No
Misc. (DLC)		New Person, Same Old Mistakes	No
Misc. (DLC)		No Easy Way Out	No
Misc. (DLC)		One Way or Another	No	Passes as soon as you open the shipping container. Wiki is wrong, you don’t have to kill the attackers
Misc. (DLC)		The Show Must Go On	No
Misc. (DLC)		This Corrosion	No
Misc. (DLC)	10.5	Tomorrow Never Knows	No
Misc. (DLC)		Voodoo Treasure	No
Mr. Hands (DLC)		Run This Town	YES!	Refuse to help twice while visiting with Mr. Hands.
Mr. Hands (DLC)		Dazed and Confused	Yes	Tell Lina the truth
Mr. Hands (DLC)		Dirty Second Hands	No
Mr. Hands (DLC)		Go Your Own Way	No
Mr. Hands (DLC)		Shot by Both Sides	Yes	Shoot Bree when she first reveals herself. Or run away instead of investigating the old lab with her.
Muamar "El Capitan" Reyes (DLC)	1	Push It to the Limit	Yes	Blow up car after getting into it. INFINITELY FAILABLE unless you pass it once
Muamar "El Capitan" Reyes (DLC)	2	Just Another Story	Yes	Blow up car after getting into it. INFINITELY FAILABLE FOREVER!
Muamar "El Capitan" Reyes (DLC)	3	Baby Let Me Take You	Yes	Drive truck into water

Special Thanks:

• The mission tree has been a godsend
  
• Table formatting brought to you by ExcelToReddit
  
• The fine folks on /cyberpunkgame and /lowsodiumcyberpunk
  

Thanks for reading.

It's finally here. After about 2 months of work, hundreds of hours play testing, at least 100 manual saves, 4 days worth of re-recording corrupted footage, asking countless questions on both Cyberpunk2077 subs, and a bunch of comments from people asking me if I'm ok, I am now ready to proudly showcase the Complete List of Failable Gigs and Side Jobs for Cyberpunk 2077

A Call To Action (PROVE ME WRONG!)

If anyone can prove to me that there is an error in these tables by uploading footage of their unmodified game in version 2.12 or later failing a gig or side job I do not have marked with a "yes" or "No, used to", I will test it out myself, and if I confirm it works, I will reward you $20. A "Job Failed: [name of job]" red popup must appear. I'm gonna limit this to 3 errors (as in 3 jobs I say you can't fail that you actually can). First 3 2 get the reward. One Prize Claimed for Second Conflict

Note: a fail screen when you enter the elevator or call Reed to trigger the end game does not count. Must be before triggering end game.
Note2: jobs with their "Yes's Bolded were recently updated since this post was made by commenters/additional testing. So far I’ve been wrong about 5 gigs/side jobs.

All Failable Base-Game Gigs

Gig Title	Tier	Fixer	Failable?	How?
Dancing on a Minefield	1	Dakota Smith	Yes	Blow up car
Flying Drugs	1	Dakota Smith	No
Big Pete's Got Big Problems	2	Dakota Smith	No, special mention	Cannot knock him out. Only option is to kill him or scare him away. Both will result in passing the gig
No Fixers	2	Dakota Smith	No, Special mention	If you drive her in the opposite direction for long enough, she’ll get out and the mission will PASS, but fixer calls and says you did a bad job.
Trevor's Last Ride	2	Dakota Smith	Yes	Pick up the body but then leave it and run away.
MIA	3	Dakota Smith	No, Special mention	If you drive him in the opposite direction for long enough, he’ll get out and the mission will PASS, but fixer calls and says you did a bad job.
Sparring Partner	3	Dakota Smith	No
Goodbye, Night City	4	Dakota Smith	No
Radar Love	4	Dakota Smith	Yes	Blow up the car. If you get into it, it will become invincible.
A Lack of Empathy	1	Dino Dinovic	No
An Inconvenient Killer	2	Dino Dinovic	Yes	Knock em out and then run away
Serial Suicide	2	Dino Dinovic	No
Guinea Pigs	3	Dino Dinovic	Yes	Knock em out and then run away
The Frolics of Councilwoman Cole	3	Dino Dinovic	No
Two Wrongs Makes Us Right	1	Mr. Hands	Yes	Blow up car
Error 404	1	Muamar “El Capitan” Reyes	No
Race to the Top	1	Muamar “El Capitan” Reyes	No
Serious Side Effects	1	Muamar “El Capitan” Reyes	No
Breaking News	2	Muamar “El Capitan” Reyes	Yes	Blow up car
Family Matters	2	Muamar “El Capitan” Reyes	No
Hacking the Hacker	2	Muamar “El Capitan” Reyes	No
Cuckoo's Nest	3	Muamar “El Capitan” Reyes	No, Special mention	Running away immediately after getting client to follow you will not fail the mission, but fixer will be pissed.
Severance Package	3	Muamar “El Capitan” Reyes	No
Desperate Measures	4	Muamar “El Capitan” Reyes	Yes	Run away instead of getting into truck. Also, please note that this gig will NOT appear if you have not completed “Ezekiel Saw the Wheel”
For My Son	4	Muamar “El Capitan” Reyes	Yes	Knock em out and then run away
Going-away Party	4	Muamar “El Capitan” Reyes	Yes	After getting in the car, get out and run away.
Hippocratic Oath	1	Regina Jones	No
Many Ways to Skin a Cat	1	Regina Jones	Yes	Blow up car
Monster Hunt	1	Regina Jones	Yes	Knock em out and then run away
Playing for Keeps	1	Regina Jones	No
Rite of Passage	1	Regina Jones	No
Dirty Biz	2	Regina Jones	No
Troublesome Neighbors	2	Regina Jones	Yes	Knock em out and then run away
Welcome to America, Comrade	2	Regina Jones	Yes	Blow up car
Backs Against the Wall	3	Regina Jones	No
Catch a Tyger's Toe	3	Regina Jones	No
Flight of the Cheetah	3	Regina Jones	No, Special mention	Running away immediately after getting client to follow you will not fail the mission, but fixer will be pissed.
Shark in the water	3	Regina Jones	Yes	Knock em out and then run away
Woman of La Mancha	3	Regina Jones	Yes	Confront then run
Last Login	4	Regina Jones	No, Special mention	Also has Sandra Dorset’s data bank for the mission Full Disclosure
Small Man, Big Evil	4	Regina Jones	Yes	Knock em out and then run away
Bloodsport	5	Regina Jones	No
Freedom of the Press	5	Regina Jones	Yes	Kill Max or let him kill himself
Lousy Kleppers	5	Regina Jones	No
Scrolls before Swine	5	Regina Jones	No, Special mention	You can kill the client instead of dropping off the scroll but it still marks as a pass.
Concrete Cage Trap	6	Regina Jones	No, Special mention	Running away immediately after getting client to follow you will not fail the mission, but fixer will be pissed.
Fixer, Merc, Soldier, Spy	6	Regina Jones	No
Occupational Hazard	6	Regina Jones	No, Special mention	Running away immediately after freeing the client will not fail the mission, but Regina will be pissed.
The Heisenberg Principle	6	Regina Jones	No
Family Heirloom		Rogue	No
Hot Merchandise		Rogue	Yes	Knock em out and then run away
Nasty Hangover		Rogue	No
The Union Strikes Back		Rogue	Yes	Knock em out and then run away
Fifth Column	1	Sebastian “Padre” Ibarra	No
Jeopardy	1	Sebastian “Padre” Ibarra	No
Life's Work	1	Sebastian “Padre” Ibarra	Yes	Blow up car
On a Tight Leash	1	Sebastian “Padre” Ibarra	Yes	Knock em out and then run away
Bring Me the Head of Gustavo Orta	2	Sebastian “Padre” Ibarra	Yes	Knock em out and then run away
Old Friends	2	Sebastian “Padre” Ibarra	Yes	Knock em out and then run away. Fail screen took several in-game days to appear for some reason, which is why my previous list said it was not failable.
Psychofan	2	Sebastian “Padre” Ibarra	No
Eye for an Eye	3	Sebastian “Padre” Ibarra	No	Knocking her out and leaving her doesn’t fail the mission. Confronting her then running away doesn’t fail it. This woman simply wants to die.
Sr. Ladrillo's Private Collection	3	Sebastian “Padre” Ibarra	No
The Lord Giveth and Taketh Away	3	Sebastian “Padre” Ibarra	Yes	Blow up car.
Going Up or Down?	4	Sebastian “Padre” Ibarra	No
Tyger and Vulture	1	Wakako Okada	No
We Have Your Wife	1	Wakako Okada	No
Greed Never Pays	2	Wakako Okada	No
Olive Branch	2	Wakako Okada	Yes	Blow up car or kill guy in trunk
Until Death Do Us Part	2	Wakako Okada	No
Getting Warmer...	3	Wakako Okada	Yes	Disconnect netrunner without injecting coolant. Also possibly by running away.
Wakako's Favorite	3	Wakako Okada	No
A Shrine Defiled	4	Wakako Okada	No

See Full Video Here

Note: list is sorted alphabetically by fixer name, then by tier (which gigs are released to you in which order), then by alphabetical name of gig, I think.

Note 2: failing gigs does not affect your ability to get more gigs, nor does it lock you out of the final award. None of the final award gigs are failable.

All Failable Main Missions:

1. (Don't) Fear the Reaper: Die

All Failable Base Game Side Jobs

Assigned By	Order	Side Job Name	Failable?	How?
Aldecaldos	1	I'll Fly Away	Yes	After completing “With a Little Help from my Friends”, begin “I’ll Fly Away”. Once you the Side Job starts, leave the camp or the canyon and skip time 24 hours. Panam will call for “Queen of the Highway”. This will fail “I’ll Fly Away”.
Aldecaldos	2	Gun Music	Yes	Agro the Scavs then run away.
Aldecaldos	3	Fortunate Son	No, used to?	Apparently you CANNOT fail it by running away or waiting too long. I suspect this was once failable before v2.12.
Brendan	1	Coin Operated Boy	No
Brendan	2	Spray Paint	No
Brendan	3	I Can See Clearly Now	No
Claire Russell	1	The Beast in Me	Yes	Run away instead of talking to Claire and starting the race
Claire Russell	2	The Beast in Me: City Center	Yes	Run away instead of talking to Claire and starting the race
Claire Russell	3	The Beast in Me: Badlands	Yes	Run away instead of talking to Claire and starting the race
Claire Russell	4	The Beast in Me: Santo Domingo	Yes	Run away instead of talking to Claire and starting the race
Claire Russell	5	The Beast in Me: The Big Race	Yes	Run away instead of talking to Claire and starting the race
Claire Russell	6	The Distance	No, used to?	Running away does not fail the job. I think it used to?
Coach Fred	1	Beat on the Brat	No
Coach Fred	2	Beat on the Brat - Kabuki	No, used to?	Got locked into ring after starting fight.
Coach Fred	3	Beat on the Brat - Arroyo	No, used to?	Cannot run away after fight starts. Losing the fight does not fail the side job.
Coach Fred	4	Beat on the Brat - The Glen	No, used to?	Cannot run away after fight starts. Losing the fight does not fail the side job.
Coach Fred	5	Beat on the Brat - Pacifica	No, used to?	Cannot run away after fight starts. Losing the fight does not fail the side job. Also, Ozob has no different dialogue if you failed “send in the clowns”.
Coach Fred	6	Beat on the Brat - Rancho Coronado	No, used to?	Cannot run away after fight starts. Losing the fight does not fail the side job.
Delamain	1	Human Nature	No
Delamain	2	Tune Up	YES	Shoot someone inside the Delemain office from outside
Delamain	3	Epistrophy	Yes	By failing any of the sub-missions
Delamain	3.1	Epistrophy: Northside	Yes	Blow up the car or fail another Epistrophe mission after this one gets on your list.
Delamain	3.2	Epistrophy: North Oak	Yes	Blow up the car, or fail another Epistrophe mission after this one gets on your list.
Delamain	3.3	Epistrophy: Coastview	Yes	Run away after the goons spawn, or fail another Epistrophe mission after this one gets on your list.
Delamain	3.4	Epistrophy: Rancho Coronado	Yes	Blow up the car, or fail another Epistrophe mission after this one gets on your list.
Delamain	3.5	Epistrophy: Badlands	Yes	Blow up the car, or fail another Epistrophe mission after this one gets on your list.
Delamain	3.6	Epistrophy: The Glen	Yes	Blow up the car, or fail another Epistrophe mission after this one gets on your list.
Delamain	3.7	Epistrophy: Wellsprings	Yes	fail another Epistrophe mission after this one gets on your list. Cannot blow up car.
Delamain	4	Don't Lose Your Mind	No
Jefferson Peralez	1	I Fought the Law	No
Jefferson Peralez	2	Dream On	No, used to!	You used to be able to fail the mission by losing the van but as of at least 1.63, you cannot fail it. But after I passed it despite losing the truck, I never got the call from Mrs. Peralez
Johnny Silverhand	0	The Ballad of Buck Ravers	No
Johnny Silverhand	1	Chippin' In	Yes	Run away
Johnny Silverhand	1.5	A Cool Metal Fire	No
Johnny Silverhand	2	Blistering Love	Yes	Run away. Failing this side job will not lock you out of Holdin’ On
Johnny Silverhand	3	Holdin' On	No
Johnny Silverhand	4	Second Conflict	YES	When prompted to follow Patricia or Dum Dum, turn around, go back down the elevator, and leave the building
Johnny Silverhand	5	A Like Supreme	No
Joshua Stephenson	1	Sinnerman	Yes	Lose the truck
Joshua Stephenson	2	There Is A Light That Never Goes Out	Yes	Run away
Joshua Stephenson	3	They Won't Go When I Go	No	Running away passes the job
Judy Álvarez	1	Both Sides, Now	No
Judy Álvarez	2	Ex-Factor	No	Refusing to help when she initially calls will eliminate the side job from the list. No fail screen, not marked as completed. Just disappears. You cannot enter the elevator until Judy comes to it.
Judy Álvarez	3	Talkin' 'bout a Revolution	No	Refusing to help while in Judy’s appartment will result in completing the job. Running away instead of fighting the guy will put your game in a bizarre state where your fists are out but you can’t draw your gun. Not advisable.
Judy Álvarez	4	Pisces	No	Running away instead of entering hte elevator will reset everyone back to their starting points
Judy Álvarez	5	Pyramid Song	Yes	Run away instead of connecting to terminal
Kerry Eurodyne	1	Rebel! Rebel!	Yes	Run away after being driven to the scene.
Kerry Eurodyne	2	I Don't Wanna Hear It	Yes	Run away instead of looking for how to enter venue
Kerry Eurodyne	3	Off the Leash	No
Kerry Eurodyne	4	Boat Drinks	Yes	Jump off the boat instead of destroying it.
Lifepaths	1	These Boots Are Made for Walkin' (Nomad)	No
Lifepaths	1	Small Man, Big Mouth (Streetkid)	No
Lifepaths	1	War Pigs (Corpo)	No
Misc.	0	Career Opportunities	No
Misc.	0	The Highwayman	No
Misc.	0	Bullets	No
Misc.	0	Fool on the Hill	No
Misc.	0	Full Disclosure	No
Misc.	0	Heroes	No
Misc.	0	I Really Want to Stay at Your House	No
Misc.	0	Killing In The Name	No
Misc.	0	Over the Edge	No
Misc.	0	Space Oddity	No	If you run away instead of fight, the goons just stay there indefinitely.
Misc.	0	The Gift	No
Misc.	0	The Gig	No
Misc.	0	Ezekiel Saw the Wheel	No, used to?	If you run away instead of fight, the goons just stay there with their guns drawn indefinitely. Which is bizarre. I suspect it may have been failable at one point but I am not certain
Misc.	0	Sweet Dreams	No, used to?	Demanding a refund removes the side job, but no fail screen.
Misc.	0	Venus in Furs	Yes	Run away after entering motel room but before talking to Meredith.
Misc.	0	Violence	Yes	Pick up body. Place it down outside of motel room. Then leave motel.
Misc.	0	A Day In The Life	Yes	Refuse to help, or let Darrell get killed by the thugs
Misc.	0	Big in Japan	Yes	Kill the guy
Misc.	0	Burning Desire/Night Moves	Yes	Drive around and eventually the guy explodes.
Misc.	0	Every Breath You Take	Yes	Getting too close, shooting your gun to alarm everyone, leaving instead of looking for stalker, or refusing to engage stalker and she ends up killing Blue Moon.
Misc.	0	Happy Together	Yes	Don’t go back to check on the sad cop. Or after telling the cops its an turtle, immediately run away. Or be mean to the sad cop so he doesn’t let you in or tell you about the iguana. Easiest mission to fail.
Misc.	0	Love Rollercoaster	Yes	Run away instead of scanning and helping
Misc.	0	Only Pain	Yes	Kill the cops and run away. Don’t wake the corpo
Misc.	0	Raymond Chandler Evening	Yes	Refuse to defend the corpo. Refuse to help Pepe twice. Get too close to the wife. Shoot your gun to make her run away.
Misc.	0	Sacrum Profanum/Losing My Religion	Yes	RUN AWAY or KILL MONK
Misc.	0	Send in the Clowns	Yes	Run away after picking up Ozob
Misc.	0	Stadium Love	Yes	Shoot up 6th Street goons before starting the mission
Misc.	0	The Prophet's Song	Yes	Run away after waiting
Nix	1	Spellbound	No, used to?	Agroing R3n0 and running away still doesn’t fail it. Maybe used to be failable?
Nix	2	KOLD MIRAGE	No	You’re locked into the room as soon as you put the deck down and can’t leave without saving him
Panam Palmer	1	Riders on the Storm	Yes	RUN AWAY When your outside of, or enroute to, the camp to save Saul. Leave for 24 hours
Panam Palmer	2	With a Little Help from My Friends	Yes	Run away from train station. Let some time pass.
Panam Palmer	3	Queen of the Highway	No	You cannot run away, the game will flip you around and send you back to where you came. Using a fast travel point will not fail it either, nor sleeping or time skipping.
Regina Jones	0	Psycho Killer	No	Running away mid-fight resets the cyberpsycho back to its spawn point.
Regina Jones	0	Machine Gun	Yes, Sort of	Fails during “The Killing Moon” when you turn in your weapons, but comes back when you get your weapons back. Does not fail during “Firestarter” or “Sweet Dreams” in 2.12. Before 2.12, if you fail to give Skippy back to Regina before starting a mission where all of your guns get taken, like “Automatic Love” or “Sweet Dreams” or “A Lack of Empathy”, then the mission supposedly fails. Sweet Dreams didn’t fail for me in v1.3, i kept the gun after waking up.
River Ward	1	The Hunt	Yes	Bail at pretty much any point during the quest, including refusing to stay overnight. If you bail as soon as you get to the farm, River will die. Best ending.
River Ward	2	Following the River	No	Running away and skipping time somehow doesn’t fail the quest, unlike Judy’s or Kerry’s final quests. Weird.
Robert Wilson	1	The Gun	No
Robert Wilson	2	Shoot To Thrill	No
Vehicles	0	Dressed to Kill	No
Vehicles	0	I'm in Love with My Car	No
Vehicles	0	Murk Man Returns Again Once More Forever	No	Car is invincible.
Vehicles	0	Sex On Wheels	No
Vehicles	0	Shape of a Pony	No
Viktor Vektor	1	Upgrade U	No
Viktor Vektor	2	Paid in Full	No
Zen Master	1	Imagine	No
Zen Master	2	Stairway To Heaven	No
Zen Master	3	Poem Of The Atoms	No
Zen Master	4	Meetings Along The Edge	No

Note: list is sorted alphabetically by who assigns you the job, then by the order it's assigned.
Note 2: as mentioned in this post, failing love interest missions results in some bizarre end game holo voicemails. Including Saul calling you despite being canonically dead, Panam being surprisingly chill with you despite hating your guts for abandoning her, and Judy saying you haven't talked in a while despite leaving Night City and blocking you.

All Failable DLC Gigs

None can be failed.

All Failable DLC Main Jobs and Side Jobs

Note: Contains Spoilers!

Assigned By	Order	Side Job Name	Failable?	How?
DLC Main Mission	1	Dog Eat Dog	Yes	Run away
DLC Main Mission	2	Hole in the Sky	Yes	Run away
DLC Main Mission	3	Spider and the Fly	No	I ran around with Meyers for like 20 minutes, getting caught, running as fast as I can, an nothing happens. You get yelled at but you can't fail it.
DLC Main Mission	4	Lucretia My Reflection	Yes	Refuse offer to continue from Reed & Meyers
DLC Main Mission	5	The Damned	No
DLC Main Mission	6	Get It Together	No
DLC Main Mission	7	You Know My Name	No
DLC Main Mission	8	Birds With Broken Wings	No
DLC Main Mission	9	I’ve Seen That Face Before	No
DLC Main Mission	10	Firestarter	No
DLC Main Mission	11-A	Black Steel in the Hour of Chaos	Yes	Run away instead of fighting MaxTech
DLC Main Mission	11-B	The Killing Moon	No
DLC Main Mission	12-A	Somewhat Damaged	Yes	Run away instead of following after Songbird
DLC Main Mission	13-A	Leave in Silence	No
DLC Main Mission	14-A	Four Score and seven	No
DLC Main Mission	12-B	Through Pain to Heaven	No
DLC Main Mission	12-C	Unfinished Sympathy	No
DLC Main Mission	13-C	From Her to Eternity	No
DLC Main Mission	15	Who wants to live forever	No
DLC Main Mission	16	Things done changed	No
Misc. (DLC)		Moving Heat	No
Misc. (DLC)		Balls to the Wall	Yes	Refuse to start mission, agro/shoot them. Or Fails when you kill Hansen in Firestarter. No fail screen if you side with Songbird, unfortunately.
Misc. (DLC)		Addicted To Chaos	No
Misc. (DLC)		Corpo of the Month	No
Misc. (DLC)		1R-0NC-LAD (unmarked)	No
Misc. (DLC)		Money For Nothing	No
Misc. (DLC)		New Person, Same Old Mistakes	No
Misc. (DLC)		No Easy Way Out	No
Misc. (DLC)		One Way or Another	No	Passes as soon as you open the shipping container. Wiki is wrong, you don’t have to kill the attackers
Misc. (DLC)		The Show Must Go On	No
Misc. (DLC)		This Corrosion	No
Misc. (DLC)	10.5	Tomorrow Never Knows	No
Misc. (DLC)		Voodoo Treasure	No
Mr. Hands (DLC)		Run This Town	YES!	Refuse to help twice while visiting with Mr. Hands.
Mr. Hands (DLC)		Dazed and Confused	Yes	Tell Lina the truth
Mr. Hands (DLC)		Dirty Second Hands	No
Mr. Hands (DLC)		Go Your Own Way	No
Mr. Hands (DLC)		Shot by Both Sides	Yes	Shoot Bree when she first reveals herself. Or run away instead of investigating the old lab with her.
Muamar "El Capitan" Reyes (DLC)	1	Push It to the Limit	Yes	Blow up car after getting into it. INFINITELY FAILABLE unless you pass it once
Muamar "El Capitan" Reyes (DLC)	2	Just Another Story	Yes	Blow up car after getting into it. INFINITELY FAILABLE FOREVER!
Muamar "El Capitan" Reyes (DLC)	3	Baby Let Me Take You	Yes	Drive truck into water

Special Thanks:

• The mission tree has been a godsend
  
• Table formatting brought to you by ExcelToReddit
  
• The fine folks on /cyberpunkgame and /lowsodiumcyberpunk
  

Thanks for reading.

Short book written over 20 years ago, but it features a ton of stories from lesser known promotions in the 80s and some good dirt and gossip from the 90s.
As always, it's in chronological order. I hope you enjoy some of the stories...
Missy hilariously says she was born in "nineteen-sixty-none-of-your-buisness! John Kennedy was president, and that's all you need to know."
Missy says she was teased a lot in high school, but after getting on TV, those same people would approach her at Walmart trying to be friendly. Missy would pretend to not remember them and then offer to autograph the box of pampers they were buying. Two pages in, and it's clear that this woman is awesome.
Missy says she first tried bleaching her hair blonde when she was 15 years old, dumping literal laundry bleach all over her head. It didn't work out as she hoped.
Missy didn't grow up a wrestling fan, but randomly got hooked when she was 16, and her dad was channel surfing the TV. She made him stop on an episode of a Georgia Championship Wrestling and loved it so much that she knew she wanted to be part of that world.
She had a crush on Tommy Rich, and she made a note to say she was 18 when she attended her first wrestling show. Because she wound up going down on Tommy in his car after the show.
She says she went to every wrestling show for months until Dory Funk's girlfriend asked her to start selling programs, and that was her first in to the business.
Missy's first wrestler boyfriend was Jake Roberts, which, as you can imagine, was eventful. She said she was young and naive and didn't realize he was a coke head for the first few months, but eventually, she tried with him one night at a club.
Jake Roberts liked to send Missy into bars and wait for some guy to try and chat her up, just so Jake can march in and make a big show about scaring the guy off. Missy called it psycho.
Missy says Jake was trying to get her into the wrestling buisness and even pitched an angle where she could attack him, but it never happened because Jake was worried they would be seen together out in public and kill the town. She laughs at this because a month later, Jake broke up with her.
She says she didn't take the breakup well because a week later, she went and slept with Jake's best friend, Road Warrior Hawk. She also says she got a boob job after the breakup.
A year later, Missy met John Tatum before he worked for Mid-Atlantic Wrestling, and they started dating. She notes how John was a better golfer than wrestler and would have been more successful if we went into pro golf.
Missy and John moved in together when John got a job working for Fritz Von Erich in World Class Championship Wrestling.
Missy saw a magazine article saying WWF was looking for a valet to pair with Randy Savage, so she sent a picture and a note in. WWF booker George Scott actually called her, and they spoke on the phone about the possibility of Missy managing Savage but she never heard back. Savage was able to get his real life wife the gig, so she was never going to get it.
News of this got to Fritz Von Erich, though, and he called her into a meeting where he decided to pair her with John and his valet. When Fritz asked what she wanted to be called, she blurted out "Constance" and immediately regretted it. Her name was Melissa, and John called her Missy, which Fritz liked, so that was that. Missy Hyatt was almost named Constance.
Missy says her first paycheck from Fritz was for $50, and she was jacked because it was essentially for just 5 minutes of work. She still has the pay stub. Some nights, she would make $200, but her biggest payday for just 5 mins of work was $1200, apparently.
Missy says John couldn't cut promos, and when he talked, it sounded like he had a mouth full of marbles, so she was immediately cutting promos for the both of them. She was initially terrified but said she fell into being a character the second the camera came on.
Missy said she came up with all her ringside antics, like looking bored when a rest hold happened or literally turning her back and filing her nails when John was getting beat up. She said she would routinely insult the front row audience members and even have John take one of their chairs for her before the match for heat.
Valerie "Sunshine" French was the one who taught Missy how to work and brawl. Missy says the first night they did a roll around cat fight, Missy started to crack up and laugh. An irate Sunshine yelled at her backstage, saying next time she'll rip her hair out for real. Missy says they both started laughing at how absurd everything was.
Missy remembers one night when a little old lady smacked her in the back of the head with a purse. She also remembers one night when several fans jumped the rail and got on top of her. She said she covered up, and it took security about 10 seconds to clear them.
Missy says peanut butter works best when trying to get gum out of your hair.
Missy says backstage, John would have her sit in the corner facing the wall for a lot of times.
Missy thought "kayfabe" was a name the boys called her before John eventually explained it.
Missy says John made her do literally all the driving from town to town.
Missy says the weirdest rib she got was from Buddy Roberts of the Free Birds. He snuck into the shower while she was in there, climbed up on the ceiling, and tried to pee on her. She was mortified, but John just laughed and said the Free Birds pee on people they like, and she should be honored.
Missy says a lot of wrestlers don't like having valets because they usually take attention away from them and distract the audience too much during matches.
WCCW booker Ken Mantel left the Von Erich ran organization for Universal Wrestling Federation in 1986, and he was able to convince the Freebirds, John Tatum and Missy Hyatt to come along with him. Missy said she felt guilty leaving Fritz, who got her the first big break of her career, but Ken liked booking John and Missy, so they went where the work was. Bill Watts was in charge and signed both John and Missy to $50,000 a year deals.
Missy says she never got along with Bill Watts and suggests it's because his son Eric had a massive crush on her. Missy would leverage this crush, bet her eyes at him, and Eric would literally do her laundry. Bill probably hated how much of a simp his son turned into around her.
Before coming to UWF, Missy says she heard Lynda "Dark Journey" Newton was a coke head. She throws a lot of shade at Dark Journey, saying, "She had no experience - unless blowing Dick Slater counts as experience." Dick Slater was Dark Journey's one-time boyfriend who got her into the business.
Missy says Dark Journey cheated on Dick Slater with a young Steve "Sting" Borden. Alledgedly, Slater found out and beat the shit out of Sting in the locker room at a show. Missy says Sting took the beating because he knew he was caught and because Slater had connections and could have ruined Sting at that point, according to Missy. Slater left the UWF a week or 2 later.
Missy says Dark Journey didn't know how to work and would legitimately beat her up every night. Missy was the heel, so she usually got beat up, and with Dark Journey, Missy says she would just snap and shoot for real most of the time.
Missy says this happens to a lot of guys who get all amped up, hear the crowd, and just sorta go nuts on their opponents. She says she knew a few guys in ECW who wouldn't step in the ring with Taz.
Missy says in the 6 months she worked with Dark Journey, Dark Journey broke Missy's thumb, chipped 2 of her teeth, and ripped out so much hair that Missy had a bald spot. It's here in the book that Missy reiterates again that she heard Dark Journey was a coke head, but never asked her about it.
Eddie Gilbert was a manager and sometimes wrestler who would help out with booking ideas. He was the one to pair himself and Missy her backing John Tatum and Jack Victory, while Eddie would manage Sting and Steiner. Missy stresses that it was a professional pairing because both were in relationships at the time. But soon, the sexual tension they had would boil over on camera with even the announcers mentioning it.
Missy says her relationship with John deteriorated over time to the point where she would go out of her way to not be around him. Missy and Eddie Gilbert would start seeing each there, and Missy would leave John.
Despite the fact that she and John broke up, booker Ken Mantel insisted they work together still, and since her team was fueding with Eddie's team, Bill Watts said he would fine or fire both of them if the fans saw them together. So Eddie and Missy had to sneak around a lot.
Missy lived in an apartment complex where a ton of fans also lived, so Eddie would have to sneak over. One night, while cooking dinner, she tripped the smoke detector, and the building had to evacuate everyone. Everyone except Eddie, who hid in the closest, inhaling smoke the whole time.
Missy says John was very mean to her while they worked together after the break up, until Missy finally threatened to quit. So Ken Mantell was able to cook up an angle where Missy joined Eddie's team and betrayed John.
She said the heat she got from the fans for betraying John was wild, and the UWF had to hire extra security for her matches and appearances. One night, an old lady grabbed her, and after security wrestled her away, they apparently found a butcher knife on the woman. She was ready to kill Missy Hyatt of all people.
Jim Crockett purchased the UWF in 1987, and Ken Mantell quit his job as booker, so Eddie and Missy wanted to be safe and mailed photos to Vince McMahon and the WWF. Vince called Missy personally to invite her and Eddie to New York to talk. Eddie spent the whole plane ride talking all excitedly about being the next Roddy Piper and getting way too excited. When they landed, Vince made it clear that although he was happy to hire Eddie in whatever role Eddie wanted, Vince wanted Missy. He told her how she would host her own Pipers Pit type show and get her own "Missy doll" and how she would be a star.
Missy says Eddie was obviously hurt and upset by this, and on the plane ride home, Eddie told Missy to take Vince's offer, but Eddie would be staying in the UWF where he was already offered Ken Mantell's role as the new booker. Missy was sad and crying, but Eddie insisted she should "go get that doll."
Jim Crockett technically didn't take ownership of UWF for a few months, and Bill Watts hated Vince, so he refused to let Missy out of her contract. He tried lying and saying he owned the name Missy Hyatt (he didn't) and was refusing to let her go, despite the fact that he was literally selling his promotion. Missy called Vince, who put her on the phone with Vince's wife, Linda McMahon. Linda was a lawyer who explained to Missy that they would help her. Eventually, Vince called Jim Crockett, who talked to Bill Watts, who eventually let Missy out of her contract. But Bill fined her $500 for missing a couple of shows while dealing with this fiasco.
She said the situation taught her a valuable lesson about trademarks, because she went out immediately and trademarked her name so no one could fuck with her. Good for her for doing that before the WWF tried!
Hilariously, Missy says years later, she fucked Bill Watts son, Eric, and then made him do her laundry one last time. She then rhetorically asks "How do you like that, Cowboy?"
In her final appearance, Missy wrestled a 4 way over the top rope match with Sunshine, Dark Journey and one other girl. She wanted revenge on Dark Journey for being so stiff all those months, so she had Eddie Gilbert show her some simple stretches she could slap on Journey. Unfortunately though Missy couldn't execute them correctly, and when Sunshine noticed what she was doing, Sunshine moved to the spot where she eliminates Missy. On her way out, Missy kicked Dark Journey so hard that Missy broke one of her toes.
The first time Missy met NBC Sports President Dick Ebersol, she thought he was a limo driver and made him carry her luggage. When she asked Vince how much should I tip that guy, pointing at Ebersol, Vince had a good laugh, then introduced him to her with his full name. Missy still didn't know who he was and told Vince, "Yeah, he already introduced himself." Vince again had a good laugh at this. She said she didn't know who he was until a month later when she saw him in a newspaper.
Missy was at dinner with Vince when Dick Ebersol asked to be part of the next Wrestlemania. Later that night when they were away from Ebersol, Vince had a big laugh at how "everybody wants to be part of Wrestlemania, but we don't need him!"
The first time she hosted her talk show Missy's Manor, she didn't know her guest, Honky Tonk Man, wasn't miked and she was supposed to hold the mic infront of his face. Jimmy Hart was off to the side trying to get her attention until Honky Tonk Man just leaned forward and grabbed the mic from her.
She also may have made a mistake when she asked Honky Tonk Man why he never actually plays the guitar. I guess he looked at her, stunned for a few seconds, until a panicked Jimmy Hart jumped in and took over the interview. Missy was mortified that her first segment bombed.
After a few more bad interviews, Vince pulled the plug, but promised Missy they would find something else for her. She said she had ideas on how to improve the interview segments, but was too nervous to speak up.
Vince wanted her to do an angle with Honky Tonk Man, but didn't know where it would actually go past the initial confrontation. When Missy told her boyfriend Eddie Gilbert about this, he was dead set against her and Honky Tonk Man working together in any way. Missy says she never did find out the reason.
Vince had also wanted her to be one of those random girls that accompanied random wrestlers to the ring. Eddie talked her out of that too, saying Missy doesn't share the spotlight with other girls. Eventually Eddie convinced her to come back to the UWF, so after a 2 month stint in WWF, Missy quit because she loved Eddie and genuinely didn't like the stuff Vince had in mind after the talk show idea fell apart.
She says Vince was very sweet and understanding when she quit and told her she could call him up if she wanted to work for the WWF again. She says she did actually call him up, nearly a decade later in 1997, begging for a job. She says Vince also let her keep all the clothes they bought for her in the few months she worked for the WWF.
Missy says she wished she could rag on Vince, but the truth is that he was always very sweet to her and did give her an opportunity to be a star. The only gossip or dirt she had was that apparently you could always see the lines of his underwear through his pants, and that his shirt was always noticeably bunched up under his belt at the front of his pants. She said "That always skeeved me about Vince."
Missy says the first time she saw a Sable doll in a toy isle at WalMart, she freaked out and started throwing them around the isle until the manager kicked her out. She never got her Missy doll.
Jim Crockett busted her chops when she came back the UWF saying "aren't you that big WWF star?" They had a good laugh before Missy formally asked for her job back. Jim said of course and sent her to talk to Dusty Rhodes, who was over seeing creative/ booking.
Missy was paired alongside Jim Ross for commentary work. She said she liked it more than interviewing people and that Jim Ross would call the moves and do analysis, she was just required to be entertaining.
Missy and Eddie Gilbert got married durring a Halloween Party in 1988, and they didn't tell their guests. They threw a "Halloween" party, where they dressed up as a bride and groom, and halfway through a real legit Justice of the Peace shows up to officiate and all their friends and colleagues are stunned. She said it was actually video tapped and traded around amongst wrestling fans for years. She makes a note in the book that she would love a copy if anyone has one floating around.
Eddie Gilbert didn't like working under Dusty Rhodes as booker when the UWF was folded into the NWA. So when Jerry Lawler to book for United States Wrestling Association in Memphis, he said yes immediately. Of course Missy went with him.
Memphis was a step down though since it wasn't broadcast on cable and Missy said she started to become a bit of a prima donna in Memphis, due to her exposure in bigger promotions.
Missy talks about how Eddie Gilbert idolized Jerry Lawler, and says after several months of working for Lawler in USWA, she was able to convince Lawler to give her one of his crowns. She gave it to Eddie as a gift and she says he wore it all over the house and was like a kid on Christmas morning. She says there is a great picture of him smiling and wearing the crown, and that picture is now engraved on Eddie's Tombstone. I personally don't know a lot about Eddie Gilbert, but Missy does a wonderful job at endearing the reader towards him and their relationship.
Missy says Jerry Jarret and Jerry Lawler would tale turns booking Memphis, swapping out of the role every 6 months.
Missy call Jerry Jarrett a "piece of work" and says his face should be pictured next to the word "redneck." She says he would spit tobacco into a cup on his desk all the time and through meetings.
Missy says Eddie Gilbert was offered "head booker" position for Continental Wrestling Federation in Montgomery, Alabama and he immediately took it. Missy of course went with him but finished up in Memphis without Eddie for a couple weeks.
Missy recalls a night when Eddie was working out of town and she was at home Eddie returned the next day without his wallet or wedding ring, but he had a "story" he told about how he left that stuff in the hotel room, and went out to eat. When he came back, his wallet and ring were gone. Missy questioned why he would leave to eat without his wallet, and she knew his routine. If he took his ring off, he also took his Rolex off and stored everything in a fanny pack. The story didn't add up and Missy couldn't let it go.
Missy called around to wrestlers wives asking if they hear any stories, and while no one had anything on Eddie, she did hear about Sid Vicious getting robbed in the same town. Apparently, Sid met a girl and took her back to his hotel room, but somewhere along the way, the girl spiked his drink. By the time they got to the hotel room, Sid was woozy and passed out, allowing this girl to rob him blind. Missy figures the same thing happened to Eddie, that he took off his wedding ring to pick up a girl and got drugged and ripped off. She never confronted him about it, but didn't let it go either.
A month later Missy says she cheated on Eddie with Dr Tom Pritchard. They were working a program together and both very attracted to one another. After a show one night the two had sex in a car parked outside the venue, as fans and other wrestlers walked by and saw the rocking car and foggy windows. Everyone in the organization knew, so of course Eddie knew. Just like Missy never confronted Eddie on his infidelity, Eddie never confronted her either. They were both just silent and angry and hurt.
When Crockett Promotion was bought and turned into WCW, Dusty Rhodes reached back out to Eddie, wanting him on the booking team to go head to head with the WWF. Again Eddie said yes, so he and Missy were headed back to Georgia. Missy and Eddie would end up each getting 2 year contracts with WCW.
Missy says Kevin Sullivan hated Eddie Gilbert and would routinely undermine him on the booking committee and ensure his idea's got rejected.
Missy says it would be a waste to talk about Kevin Sullivan, so she just tells a funny story about running into his wife Nancy (the future Nancy Benoit) after Nancy and Kevin split up. Missy made a comment to Nancy about how good she looks and Nancy attributed that to no longer being with Kevin. Missy then told Nancy that when Kevin Sullivan dies, Missy wants to dance on his grave. Apparently, Nancy responded with "That's going to be a long conga line."
Missy remembers the first time she met Ted Turner, apparently he asked to meet her because people were waving Jim over to her saying "she's over here!" Missy reached her hand out to shake his, but Ted wrapped his arms around her waste, pulled her in close and said "Baby, wanna mud wrestle?" Then he grabbed her ass. Yikes. She called him a redneck and noted how this was while Ted was single, but still calls it gross.
Missy calls Ric Flair a "big perv" who creeped her out on a regular basis. He would talk about pubic hair all the time and told people he wouldn't sleep with a woman who shaves down there. He had a saying, "No hair, no Flair."
Missy says she and others used to play a drinking game while watching Lex Kuger wrestle. They would take a drink anytime Lex touches his crotch while wrestling. She says Lex would routinely adjust himself in the ring and they would drink themselves under the table very quickly with this game.
Miss says their marriage never recovered from the cheating and Eddie was miserable in WCW where none of his booking ideas got off the ground. One time Eddie thought he was going to join the Four Horseman before that plan fell through as well, and Missy suspects Kevin Sullivan had something to do there.
Missy says in the summer of 1989, Eddie left her. He moved out of town, quit his job and just left. They had 2 dogs, Missy kept one and Eddie took the other. She was caught off guard by how calm and relaxed Eddie was while finally leaving her.
Missy met Mark "Buff" Bagwell at an apartment complex she was looking at moving into. She is the one who told him he should get into wrestling, and we can all thank Missy Hyatt for exposing the world to Buff Bagwell. She moved in next door to him and was kinda bummed to find he had a girlfriend, and really irritated at how thin the walls of the apartment complex were.
Missy says Jim Ross set her up with a football player for the Atlanta Falcons named Bill Fralic and a month later, Eddie sent her divorce papers.
Eddie would randomly show up at her apartment complex early one morning. He hopped the gate and rushed the house, angry that Missy was seeing someone else. He apparently knocked over Bagwell's BBQ grill, thinking it was the new boyfriends. Eddie then stormed into the house yelling "where is he!?" But Bill Fraloc was almost a foot taller than Eddie and over 70 pounds bigger, so when Bill woke up and came out asking "do we have a problem?" A deflated Eddie actually said "No, your the football player right? I'm a big fan." Eddie and Bill talked for a bit before they shook hands and Eddie left.
Missy says she and Bill broke up a month or 2 later, but that started her "football player kick" where she dated a dozen or so NFL players over the next couple years.
Missy dated "The Wonder Years" star Jason Hervey for 2 years and calls him the best boyfriend she ever had. He was 18 and she was 26, he was about 4 inches shorter than her, but she seemed to genuinely love the time they spent together.
Missy remembers how the wrestlers in WCW would all make fun of Jason Hervey behind his back, but then all suck up to him in person and try to get a spot on The Wonder Years. She says Eric Bichsoff was the worst because he hounded Jason everytime he was backstage at a show.
Missy cheated on Jason with a hockey player Rod Brind'Amour, who presently coaches the Carolina Hurricanes. She said he was ripped, but she had to mentally put a bag over his head because of how messed up his face was from playing hockey. She confessed to Jason a week later, and they broke up.
Missy says Jason was only 21 when they broke up and handled it as badly as you expect a 21 year old kid to react. After Eddie Gilbert, she wasn't ready for how emotional Jason got, but he eventually promised to ship all her belongings back to her home. When she got them, she found he had peed on every single box. He was very very 21 years old.
Missy says football player Jim Kelly and her flirted a ton, so when she was single she started teaching out to him. Jim Kelly played for the Buffalo Bills and they were set to compete in the Superbowl for the 4th year in a row and prefaced the next story by saying Jim was under a lot of stress. After their first date, Missy took him home and they started making out on the bed, before he started to shudder and said "Oh excuse me." He came in his pants, and they were just kissing. Missy says she found it was kinda sweet but he was annoyed. She doesn't say it outright but you could tell after all the flirting that she was disappointed. She makes a joke saying "No wonder the Bills never won the superbowl in those 4 years they made it." And then she said "Sorry Jim."
To Missy's credit, she calls herself a bitch a lot throughout the book and doesn't hold back on her opinions or the truth.
Missy says Eric Bishoff was pissed when she broke up with Jason, and punished her by pairing her with the Nasty Boys as their manager. Missy said at the time she suggested working with Steve Austin and Brian Pilman, thinking the Hollywood Blondes would fit will with her gimmick and look. She didn't have anything in common with The Nasty Boys though and they didn't match looks.
Missy was shocked when The Nasty Boys won the tag titles, and figures that was done because Dusty Rhodes sister-in-law was married to Jerry Sags of the Nasty Boys.
Missy says Biahoff gave her zero mic or interview time, no bits before, during or after matches, told the camera men not to shoot her and the broadcasters now to mention her.
During a PPV match, Sags got hurt, so Missy had to jump in the ring and cause the planned DQ finish. During the scuffle, hee left boob popped out in a wardrobe malfunction. A month later, Missy and Nasty Boys went to the CNN Center to pose for pictures, and outside the door to thr photography studio, there was a picture of her, with her boob hanging out, posted on the bulletin board! She was livid, snatched the photo, marched to Eric Bichoff and demanded to know who was responsible. Bishoff never got back to her, so she found someone above Bishoff, a vice president with the Turner Organization that she brought the issue to. The next day, Bishoff fired her.
Missy sued Bishoff and WCW, but it was initially over merchandising money she wasn't paid in the past couple years. She had a ton of examples of merchandise she moved and was never paid for. When she told her lawyer about the picture of her exposed boob posted in the Turner offices, the lawyer added in sexual harassment. Missy says that's when shit hit the fan.
She isn't allowed to talk about the lawsuit, legally, so all she says is "The litigation was concluded, after approximately 18 months, in December 1996, and I am very pleased with the outcome." Missy got the bag it would seem.
Missy was more or less black balled from most wrestling promotions after WCW fired her and she sued them. She spent a month indulging in pills and depression before moving to New York where, thanks to her and Eddie Gilbert's old friend Paul Heyman, she got a job as a bartender.
One night, while working at the bar, Paul Heyman called Missy, to tell her Eddie Gilbert had passed away. He wrestled a match in Puerto Rico, and then had a heart attack in his sleep and never woke up.
Missy says Eddie's dad never liked her and blamed her for all Eddie's issues after they divorced. He even blamed Missy when Eddie married Medusa for 10 minutes shortly after Eddie and Missy broke up. Missy decided she shouldn't go to the funeral if it will make her father uncomfortable. She found a picture of the 2 dogs her and Eddie had, and wrote a poem on the back of it before mailing it to Eddie's mom, along with a big flower display. The picture and poem were placed inside the casket and Missy heard her flowers were front and center. She says it was a packed house for his funeral, standing room only. She calls it "Eddie's last show, and he sold out the house."
Missy says 6 months later she had lunch with Eddie's mom and visited his grave where she was finally able to pay proper respect to the man she loved.
She makes a point here that Missy and Melissa (her real name) share a lot in common, but it wasn't Missy who married Eddie, it was Melissa. Missy didn't mourn him, Melissa did. She said the love she had for him had nothing to do with the work they did or the angles they had, it was a real connection between two people. She finishes by saying "Hot Stuff Eddie Gilbert didn't die, my ex-husband did. And it hurt."
When her lawsuit with WCW finally wrapped, she was able to work in the wrestling buisness again, so Paul Heyman immediately hired her in early 1997 in ECW.
Missy was paired with Sandman and notes how some guys didn't like to work with him because he was at least half drunk all the time and had bad body oder.
Missy says Sandman's wife accused Missy of sleeping with Sandman and even hit her with a boot once. But Missy maintains nothing happened between them and I believe her. She mentions damn near everyone she slept with in this book, from Road Warrior Hawk to Raven to a bunch of football and hockey players. She said one time while driving past a cemetery, Sandman asked her of she ever had sex on a grave and she thinks (hopes) he was only joking. That's the most sexual their conversations ever got.
Missy has nothing but good things to say about Francine in ECW, but nothing but bad things to say about Beulah. She calls Beulah a bitch and tells a story about how difficult she was when Missy wanted to shoot a calendar with the women of ECW. She makes fun of Beulah for her early days appearing an adult magazine called Cheri. Missy says Cheri made Hustler look like Reader's Digest. She does note how Beulah was quick to leave the wrestling buisness shortly after Missy got there, and tried excusing her poor attitude as someone who was looking to put wrestling behind them.
One time in the ring with Dreamer, Sandman, Beulah and another girl named Kimona, Missy got pissed when Beulah and Kimona started making out and getting all the attention. She told Sandman to pour one of his beers down the front of her chest and she says no one was looking at those 2 girls again. She finishes the story by saying "No one upstaged Missy."
Sandman's wife legit broke Missy's elbow when they were supposed to have one of those dumb cat fights. At some point Sandman's wife grabbed hold of a kendo stick and swung it as hard as possible, catching Missy in the arm and breaking her elbow. Missy says it happened because Sandman's wife was paranoid about Sandman cheating on her and took offence to some shit Missy said in a working promo.
Missy was done working like that in ECW and asked Paul Heyman if she could announce alongside Joey Styles, when he said no, she quit ECW.
She briefly worked as an announcer for the short lived American Wrestling Federation, but that promotion made no money ever and quickly shut its doors.
Missy mentions a couple relationships and flings in the book, but one of the last ones is a hookup with Val Venis. She calls it "the shortest, lamest sex I've ever had. Talk about a guys gimmick not being him!"
Missy was done with the wrestling buisness after a decade and half, and says she spent a year earning her medical technician certificate, and got a job prepping movie stars and models for boob jobs. Good for her!
The book ends with her saying she is working on her bachelor's degree with a major in psychology and a minor in political science. She was still doing the odd indi shows but hardly gets recognized on the streets anymore. This book was published in 2001 so she would have written it before then, probably in 2000.
Looking her up online she did graduate with a degree in Psychology! She did a few random indi appearances and one TNA appearance a couple years ago, but that's it.
The book ends with her listing her top 10 wrestling regrets...
Never worked a Wrestlemania for WWF.
Never got to tell Eddie Gilbert how much she admired him and how much he taught her.
Never kicked Sandman's wife's ass. She is dead serious, as of writing the book you can tell she really really wanted to.
Never slept with Sweet Stan Lane.
Never somersaulted backwards off the top rope.
Never got a tongue lashing from Gene Simmons of Kiss.
Never gave Sunshine enough credit for showing me how to catfight.
Never lewinskied Jesse Ventura.
Never studied psychology while active in the buisness.
Never got that Missy Doll.
This was a fun, and short read. Not a lot of research done on her behalf, it was all done from memory so she rarely mentioned what year the stories were taking place in and she talked a lot about hooking up with wrestlers, unafraid of naming them. I'd love to know how much she made off the WCW lawsuit though.
My previous reports, if anyone is interested...
Andre the Giant book
Hulk Hogan book
Bret Hart book
Bruce Hart book
History of Stampede Wrestling book
Owen Hart death as documented in various different books
Montreal Screwjob as documented in various different books
History of the Hart Family as documented in various books
Roddy Piper book
Gorgeous George book part 1
Gorgeous George book part 2
Billy Graham book
The Young Bucks book
Jim Ross 2nd book
Brock Lesnar book

Short book written over 20 years ago, but it features a ton of stories from lesser known promotions in the 80s and some good dirt and gossip from the 90s.
As always, it's in chronological order. I hope you enjoy some of the stories...
Missy hilariously says she was born in "nineteen-sixty-none-of-your-buisness! John Kennedy was president, and that's all you need to know."
Missy says she was teased a lot in high school, but after getting on TV, those same people would approach her at Walmart trying to be friendly. Missy would pretend to not remember them and then offer to autograph the box of pampers they were buying. Two pages in, and it's clear that this woman is awesome.
Missy says she first tried bleaching her hair blonde when she was 15 years old, dumping literal laundry bleach all over her head. It didn't work out as she hoped.
Missy didn't grow up a wrestling fan, but randomly got hooked when she was 16, and her dad was channel surfing the TV. She made him stop on an episode of a Georgia Championship Wrestling and loved it so much that she knew she wanted to be part of that world.
She had a crush on Tommy Rich, and she made a note to say she was 18 when she attended her first wrestling show. Because she wound up going down on Tommy in his car after the show.
She says she went to every wrestling show for months until Dory Funk's girlfriend asked her to start selling programs, and that was her first in to the business.
Missy's first wrestler boyfriend was Jake Roberts, which, as you can imagine, was eventful. She said she was young and naive and didn't realize he was a coke head for the first few months, but eventually, she tried with him one night at a club.
Jake Roberts liked to send Missy into bars and wait for some guy to try and chat her up, just so Jake can march in and make a big show about scaring the guy off. Missy called it psycho.
Missy says Jake was trying to get her into the wrestling buisness and even pitched an angle where she could attack him, but it never happened because Jake was worried they would be seen together out in public and kill the town. She laughs at this because a month later, Jake broke up with her.
She says she didn't take the breakup well because a week later, she went and slept with Jake's best friend, Road Warrior Hawk. She also says she got a boob job after the breakup.
A year later, Missy met John Tatum before he worked for Mid-Atlantic Wrestling, and they started dating. She notes how John was a better golfer than wrestler and would have been more successful if we went into pro golf.
Missy and John moved in together when John got a job working for Fritz Von Erich in World Class Championship Wrestling.
Missy saw a magazine article saying WWF was looking for a valet to pair with Randy Savage, so she sent a picture and a note in. WWF booker George Scott actually called her, and they spoke on the phone about the possibility of Missy managing Savage but she never heard back. Savage was able to get his real life wife the gig, so she was never going to get it.
News of this got to Fritz Von Erich, though, and he called her into a meeting where he decided to pair her with John and his valet. When Fritz asked what she wanted to be called, she blurted out "Constance" and immediately regretted it. Her name was Melissa, and John called her Missy, which Fritz liked, so that was that. Missy Hyatt was almost named Constance.
Missy says her first paycheck from Fritz was for $50, and she was jacked because it was essentially for just 5 minutes of work. She still has the pay stub. Some nights, she would make $200, but her biggest payday for just 5 mins of work was $1200, apparently.
Missy says John couldn't cut promos, and when he talked, it sounded like he had a mouth full of marbles, so she was immediately cutting promos for the both of them. She was initially terrified but said she fell into being a character the second the camera came on.
Missy said she came up with all her ringside antics, like looking bored when a rest hold happened or literally turning her back and filing her nails when John was getting beat up. She said she would routinely insult the front row audience members and even have John take one of their chairs for her before the match for heat.
Valerie "Sunshine" French was the one who taught Missy how to work and brawl. Missy says the first night they did a roll around cat fight, Missy started to crack up and laugh. An irate Sunshine yelled at her backstage, saying next time she'll rip her hair out for real. Missy says they both started laughing at how absurd everything was.
Missy remembers one night when a little old lady smacked her in the back of the head with a purse. She also remembers one night when several fans jumped the rail and got on top of her. She said she covered up, and it took security about 10 seconds to clear them.
Missy says peanut butter works best when trying to get gum out of your hair.
Missy says backstage, John would have her sit in the corner facing the wall for a lot of times.
Missy thought "kayfabe" was a name the boys called her before John eventually explained it.
Missy says John made her do literally all the driving from town to town.
Missy says the weirdest rib she got was from Buddy Roberts of the Free Birds. He snuck into the shower while she was in there, climbed up on the ceiling, and tried to pee on her. She was mortified, but John just laughed and said the Free Birds pee on people they like, and she should be honored.
Missy says a lot of wrestlers don't like having valets because they usually take attention away from them and distract the audience too much during matches.
WCCW booker Ken Mantel left the Von Erich ran organization for Universal Wrestling Federation in 1986, and he was able to convince the Freebirds, John Tatum and Missy Hyatt to come along with him. Missy said she felt guilty leaving Fritz, who got her the first big break of her career, but Ken liked booking John and Missy, so they went where the work was. Bill Watts was in charge and signed both John and Missy to $50,000 a year deals.
Missy says she never got along with Bill Watts and suggests it's because his son Eric had a massive crush on her. Missy would leverage this crush, bet her eyes at him, and Eric would literally do her laundry. Bill probably hated how much of a simp his son turned into around her.
Before coming to UWF, Missy says she heard Lynda "Dark Journey" Newton was a coke head. She throws a lot of shade at Dark Journey, saying, "She had no experience - unless blowing Dick Slater counts as experience." Dick Slater was Dark Journey's one-time boyfriend who got her into the business.
Missy says Dark Journey cheated on Dick Slater with a young Steve "Sting" Borden. Alledgedly, Slater found out and beat the shit out of Sting in the locker room at a show. Missy says Sting took the beating because he knew he was caught and because Slater had connections and could have ruined Sting at that point, according to Missy. Slater left the UWF a week or 2 later.
Missy says Dark Journey didn't know how to work and would legitimately beat her up every night. Missy was the heel, so she usually got beat up, and with Dark Journey, Missy says she would just snap and shoot for real most of the time.
Missy says this happens to a lot of guys who get all amped up, hear the crowd, and just sorta go nuts on their opponents. She says she knew a few guys in ECW who wouldn't step in the ring with Taz.
Missy says in the 6 months she worked with Dark Journey, Dark Journey broke Missy's thumb, chipped 2 of her teeth, and ripped out so much hair that Missy had a bald spot. It's here in the book that Missy reiterates again that she heard Dark Journey was a coke head, but never asked her about it.
Eddie Gilbert was a manager and sometimes wrestler who would help out with booking ideas. He was the one to pair himself and Missy her backing John Tatum and Jack Victory, while Eddie would manage Sting and Steiner. Missy stresses that it was a professional pairing because both were in relationships at the time. But soon, the sexual tension they had would boil over on camera with even the announcers mentioning it.
Missy says her relationship with John deteriorated over time to the point where she would go out of her way to not be around him. Missy and Eddie Gilbert would start seeing each there, and Missy would leave John.
Despite the fact that she and John broke up, booker Ken Mantel insisted they work together still, and since her team was fueding with Eddie's team, Bill Watts said he would fine or fire both of them if the fans saw them together. So Eddie and Missy had to sneak around a lot.
Missy lived in an apartment complex where a ton of fans also lived, so Eddie would have to sneak over. One night, while cooking dinner, she tripped the smoke detector, and the building had to evacuate everyone. Everyone except Eddie, who hid in the closest, inhaling smoke the whole time.
Missy says John was very mean to her while they worked together after the break up, until Missy finally threatened to quit. So Ken Mantell was able to cook up an angle where Missy joined Eddie's team and betrayed John.
She said the heat she got from the fans for betraying John was wild, and the UWF had to hire extra security for her matches and appearances. One night, an old lady grabbed her, and after security wrestled her away, they apparently found a butcher knife on the woman. She was ready to kill Missy Hyatt of all people.
Jim Crockett purchased the UWF in 1987, and Ken Mantell quit his job as booker, so Eddie and Missy wanted to be safe and mailed photos to Vince McMahon and the WWF. Vince called Missy personally to invite her and Eddie to New York to talk. Eddie spent the whole plane ride talking all excitedly about being the next Roddy Piper and getting way too excited. When they landed, Vince made it clear that although he was happy to hire Eddie in whatever role Eddie wanted, Vince wanted Missy. He told her how she would host her own Pipers Pit type show and get her own "Missy doll" and how she would be a star.
Missy says Eddie was obviously hurt and upset by this, and on the plane ride home, Eddie told Missy to take Vince's offer, but Eddie would be staying in the UWF where he was already offered Ken Mantell's role as the new booker. Missy was sad and crying, but Eddie insisted she should "go get that doll."
Jim Crockett technically didn't take ownership of UWF for a few months, and Bill Watts hated Vince, so he refused to let Missy out of her contract. He tried lying and saying he owned the name Missy Hyatt (he didn't) and was refusing to let her go, despite the fact that he was literally selling his promotion. Missy called Vince, who put her on the phone with Vince's wife, Linda McMahon. Linda was a lawyer who explained to Missy that they would help her. Eventually, Vince called Jim Crockett, who talked to Bill Watts, who eventually let Missy out of her contract. But Bill fined her $500 for missing a couple of shows while dealing with this fiasco.
She said the situation taught her a valuable lesson about trademarks, because she went out immediately and trademarked her name so no one could fuck with her. Good for her for doing that before the WWF tried!
Hilariously, Missy says years later, she fucked Bill Watts son, Eric, and then made him do her laundry one last time. She then rhetorically asks "How do you like that, Cowboy?"
In her final appearance, Missy wrestled a 4 way over the top rope match with Sunshine, Dark Journey and one other girl. She wanted revenge on Dark Journey for being so stiff all those months, so she had Eddie Gilbert show her some simple stretches she could slap on Journey. Unfortunately though Missy couldn't execute them correctly, and when Sunshine noticed what she was doing, Sunshine moved to the spot where she eliminates Missy. On her way out, Missy kicked Dark Journey so hard that Missy broke one of her toes.
The first time Missy met NBC Sports President Dick Ebersol, she thought he was a limo driver and made him carry her luggage. When she asked Vince how much should I tip that guy, pointing at Ebersol, Vince had a good laugh, then introduced him to her with his full name. Missy still didn't know who he was and told Vince, "Yeah, he already introduced himself." Vince again had a good laugh at this. She said she didn't know who he was until a month later when she saw him in a newspaper.
Missy was at dinner with Vince when Dick Ebersol asked to be part of the next Wrestlemania. Later that night when they were away from Ebersol, Vince had a big laugh at how "everybody wants to be part of Wrestlemania, but we don't need him!"
The first time she hosted her talk show Missy's Manor, she didn't know her guest, Honky Tonk Man, wasn't miked and she was supposed to hold the mic infront of his face. Jimmy Hart was off to the side trying to get her attention until Honky Tonk Man just leaned forward and grabbed the mic from her.
She also may have made a mistake when she asked Honky Tonk Man why he never actually plays the guitar. I guess he looked at her, stunned for a few seconds, until a panicked Jimmy Hart jumped in and took over the interview. Missy was mortified that her first segment bombed.
After a few more bad interviews, Vince pulled the plug, but promised Missy they would find something else for her. She said she had ideas on how to improve the interview segments, but was too nervous to speak up.
Vince wanted her to do an angle with Honky Tonk Man, but didn't know where it would actually go past the initial confrontation. When Missy told her boyfriend Eddie Gilbert about this, he was dead set against her and Honky Tonk Man working together in any way. Missy says she never did find out the reason.
Vince had also wanted her to be one of those random girls that accompanied random wrestlers to the ring. Eddie talked her out of that too, saying Missy doesn't share the spotlight with other girls. Eventually Eddie convinced her to come back to the UWF, so after a 2 month stint in WWF, Missy quit because she loved Eddie and genuinely didn't like the stuff Vince had in mind after the talk show idea fell apart.
She says Vince was very sweet and understanding when she quit and told her she could call him up if she wanted to work for the WWF again. She says she did actually call him up, nearly a decade later in 1997, begging for a job. She says Vince also let her keep all the clothes they bought for her in the few months she worked for the WWF.
Missy says she wished she could rag on Vince, but the truth is that he was always very sweet to her and did give her an opportunity to be a star. The only gossip or dirt she had was that apparently you could always see the lines of his underwear through his pants, and that his shirt was always noticeably bunched up under his belt at the front of his pants. She said "That always skeeved me about Vince."
Missy says the first time she saw a Sable doll in a toy isle at WalMart, she freaked out and started throwing them around the isle until the manager kicked her out. She never got her Missy doll.
Jim Crockett busted her chops when she came back the UWF saying "aren't you that big WWF star?" They had a good laugh before Missy formally asked for her job back. Jim said of course and sent her to talk to Dusty Rhodes, who was over seeing creative/ booking.
Missy was paired alongside Jim Ross for commentary work. She said she liked it more than interviewing people and that Jim Ross would call the moves and do analysis, she was just required to be entertaining.
Missy and Eddie Gilbert got married durring a Halloween Party in 1988, and they didn't tell their guests. They threw a "Halloween" party, where they dressed up as a bride and groom, and halfway through a real legit Justice of the Peace shows up to officiate and all their friends and colleagues are stunned. She said it was actually video tapped and traded around amongst wrestling fans for years. She makes a note in the book that she would love a copy if anyone has one floating around.
Eddie Gilbert didn't like working under Dusty Rhodes as booker when the UWF was folded into the NWA. So when Jerry Lawler to book for United States Wrestling Association in Memphis, he said yes immediately. Of course Missy went with him.
Memphis was a step down though since it wasn't broadcast on cable and Missy said she started to become a bit of a prima donna in Memphis, due to her exposure in bigger promotions.
Missy talks about how Eddie Gilbert idolized Jerry Lawler, and says after several months of working for Lawler in USWA, she was able to convince Lawler to give her one of his crowns. She gave it to Eddie as a gift and she says he wore it all over the house and was like a kid on Christmas morning. She says there is a great picture of him smiling and wearing the crown, and that picture is now engraved on Eddie's Tombstone. I personally don't know a lot about Eddie Gilbert, but Missy does a wonderful job at endearing the reader towards him and their relationship.
Missy says Jerry Jarret and Jerry Lawler would tale turns booking Memphis, swapping out of the role every 6 months.
Missy call Jerry Jarrett a "piece of work" and says his face should be pictured next to the word "redneck." She says he would spit tobacco into a cup on his desk all the time and through meetings.
Missy says Eddie Gilbert was offered "head booker" position for Continental Wrestling Federation in Montgomery, Alabama and he immediately took it. Missy of course went with him but finished up in Memphis without Eddie for a couple weeks.
Missy recalls a night when Eddie was working out of town and she was at home Eddie returned the next day without his wallet or wedding ring, but he had a "story" he told about how he left that stuff in the hotel room, and went out to eat. When he came back, his wallet and ring were gone. Missy questioned why he would leave to eat without his wallet, and she knew his routine. If he took his ring off, he also took his Rolex off and stored everything in a fanny pack. The story didn't add up and Missy couldn't let it go.
Missy called around to wrestlers wives asking if they hear any stories, and while no one had anything on Eddie, she did hear about Sid Vicious getting robbed in the same town. Apparently, Sid met a girl and took her back to his hotel room, but somewhere along the way, the girl spiked his drink. By the time they got to the hotel room, Sid was woozy and passed out, allowing this girl to rob him blind. Missy figures the same thing happened to Eddie, that he took off his wedding ring to pick up a girl and got drugged and ripped off. She never confronted him about it, but didn't let it go either.
A month later Missy says she cheated on Eddie with Dr Tom Pritchard. They were working a program together and both very attracted to one another. After a show one night the two had sex in a car parked outside the venue, as fans and other wrestlers walked by and saw the rocking car and foggy windows. Everyone in the organization knew, so of course Eddie knew. Just like Missy never confronted Eddie on his infidelity, Eddie never confronted her either. They were both just silent and angry and hurt.
When Crockett Promotion was bought and turned into WCW, Dusty Rhodes reached back out to Eddie, wanting him on the booking team to go head to head with the WWF. Again Eddie said yes, so he and Missy were headed back to Georgia. Missy and Eddie would end up each getting 2 year contracts with WCW.
Missy says Kevin Sullivan hated Eddie Gilbert and would routinely undermine him on the booking committee and ensure his idea's got rejected.
Missy says it would be a waste to talk about Kevin Sullivan, so she just tells a funny story about running into his wife Nancy (the future Nancy Benoit) after Nancy and Kevin split up. Missy made a comment to Nancy about how good she looks and Nancy attributed that to no longer being with Kevin. Missy then told Nancy that when Kevin Sullivan dies, Missy wants to dance on his grave. Apparently, Nancy responded with "That's going to be a long conga line."
Missy remembers the first time she met Ted Turner, apparently he asked to meet her because people were waving Jim over to her saying "she's over here!" Missy reached her hand out to shake his, but Ted wrapped his arms around her waste, pulled her in close and said "Baby, wanna mud wrestle?" Then he grabbed her ass. Yikes. She called him a redneck and noted how this was while Ted was single, but still calls it gross.
Missy calls Ric Flair a "big perv" who creeped her out on a regular basis. He would talk about pubic hair all the time and told people he wouldn't sleep with a woman who shaves down there. He had a saying, "No hair, no Flair."
Missy says she and others used to play a drinking game while watching Lex Kuger wrestle. They would take a drink anytime Lex touches his crotch while wrestling. She says Lex would routinely adjust himself in the ring and they would drink themselves under the table very quickly with this game.
Miss says their marriage never recovered from the cheating and Eddie was miserable in WCW where none of his booking ideas got off the ground. One time Eddie thought he was going to join the Four Horseman before that plan fell through as well, and Missy suspects Kevin Sullivan had something to do there.
Missy says in the summer of 1989, Eddie left her. He moved out of town, quit his job and just left. They had 2 dogs, Missy kept one and Eddie took the other. She was caught off guard by how calm and relaxed Eddie was while finally leaving her.
Missy met Mark "Buff" Bagwell at an apartment complex she was looking at moving into. She is the one who told him he should get into wrestling, and we can all thank Missy Hyatt for exposing the world to Buff Bagwell. She moved in next door to him and was kinda bummed to find he had a girlfriend, and really irritated at how thin the walls of the apartment complex were.
Missy says Jim Ross set her up with a football player for the Atlanta Falcons named Bill Fralic and a month later, Eddie sent her divorce papers.
Eddie would randomly show up at her apartment complex early one morning. He hopped the gate and rushed the house, angry that Missy was seeing someone else. He apparently knocked over Bagwell's BBQ grill, thinking it was the new boyfriends. Eddie then stormed into the house yelling "where is he!?" But Bill Fraloc was almost a foot taller than Eddie and over 70 pounds bigger, so when Bill woke up and came out asking "do we have a problem?" A deflated Eddie actually said "No, your the football player right? I'm a big fan." Eddie and Bill talked for a bit before they shook hands and Eddie left.
Missy says she and Bill broke up a month or 2 later, but that started her "football player kick" where she dated a dozen or so NFL players over the next couple years.
Missy dated "The Wonder Years" star Jason Hervey for 2 years and calls him the best boyfriend she ever had. He was 18 and she was 26, he was about 4 inches shorter than her, but she seemed to genuinely love the time they spent together.
Missy remembers how the wrestlers in WCW would all make fun of Jason Hervey behind his back, but then all suck up to him in person and try to get a spot on The Wonder Years. She says Eric Bichsoff was the worst because he hounded Jason everytime he was backstage at a show.
Missy cheated on Jason with a hockey player Rod Brind'Amour, who presently coaches the Carolina Hurricanes. She said he was ripped, but she had to mentally put a bag over his head because of how messed up his face was from playing hockey. She confessed to Jason a week later, and they broke up.
Missy says Jason was only 21 when they broke up and handled it as badly as you expect a 21 year old kid to react. After Eddie Gilbert, she wasn't ready for how emotional Jason got, but he eventually promised to ship all her belongings back to her home. When she got them, she found he had peed on every single box. He was very very 21 years old.
Missy says football player Jim Kelly and her flirted a ton, so when she was single she started teaching out to him. Jim Kelly played for the Buffalo Bills and they were set to compete in the Superbowl for the 4th year in a row and prefaced the next story by saying Jim was under a lot of stress. After their first date, Missy took him home and they started making out on the bed, before he started to shudder and said "Oh excuse me." He came in his pants, and they were just kissing. Missy says she found it was kinda sweet but he was annoyed. She doesn't say it outright but you could tell after all the flirting that she was disappointed. She makes a joke saying "No wonder the Bills never won the superbowl in those 4 years they made it." And then she said "Sorry Jim."
To Missy's credit, she calls herself a bitch a lot throughout the book and doesn't hold back on her opinions or the truth.
Missy says Eric Bishoff was pissed when she broke up with Jason, and punished her by pairing her with the Nasty Boys as their manager. Missy said at the time she suggested working with Steve Austin and Brian Pilman, thinking the Hollywood Blondes would fit will with her gimmick and look. She didn't have anything in common with The Nasty Boys though and they didn't match looks.
Missy was shocked when The Nasty Boys won the tag titles, and figures that was done because Dusty Rhodes sister-in-law was married to Jerry Sags of the Nasty Boys.
Missy says Biahoff gave her zero mic or interview time, no bits before, during or after matches, told the camera men not to shoot her and the broadcasters now to mention her.
During a PPV match, Sags got hurt, so Missy had to jump in the ring and cause the planned DQ finish. During the scuffle, hee left boob popped out in a wardrobe malfunction. A month later, Missy and Nasty Boys went to the CNN Center to pose for pictures, and outside the door to thr photography studio, there was a picture of her, with her boob hanging out, posted on the bulletin board! She was livid, snatched the photo, marched to Eric Bichoff and demanded to know who was responsible. Bishoff never got back to her, so she found someone above Bishoff, a vice president with the Turner Organization that she brought the issue to. The next day, Bishoff fired her.
Missy sued Bishoff and WCW, but it was initially over merchandising money she wasn't paid in the past couple years. She had a ton of examples of merchandise she moved and was never paid for. When she told her lawyer about the picture of her exposed boob posted in the Turner offices, the lawyer added in sexual harassment. Missy says that's when shit hit the fan.
She isn't allowed to talk about the lawsuit, legally, so all she says is "The litigation was concluded, after approximately 18 months, in December 1996, and I am very pleased with the outcome." Missy got the bag it would seem.
Missy was more or less black balled from most wrestling promotions after WCW fired her and she sued them. She spent a month indulging in pills and depression before moving to New York where, thanks to her and Eddie Gilbert's old friend Paul Heyman, she got a job as a bartender.
One night, while working at the bar, Paul Heyman called Missy, to tell her Eddie Gilbert had passed away. He wrestled a match in Puerto Rico, and then had a heart attack in his sleep and never woke up.
Missy says Eddie's dad never liked her and blamed her for all Eddie's issues after they divorced. He even blamed Missy when Eddie married Medusa for 10 minutes shortly after Eddie and Missy broke up. Missy decided she shouldn't go to the funeral if it will make her father uncomfortable. She found a picture of the 2 dogs her and Eddie had, and wrote a poem on the back of it before mailing it to Eddie's mom, along with a big flower display. The picture and poem were placed inside the casket and Missy heard her flowers were front and center. She says it was a packed house for his funeral, standing room only. She calls it "Eddie's last show, and he sold out the house."
Missy says 6 months later she had lunch with Eddie's mom and visited his grave where she was finally able to pay proper respect to the man she loved.
She makes a point here that Missy and Melissa (her real name) share a lot in common, but it wasn't Missy who married Eddie, it was Melissa. Missy didn't mourn him, Melissa did. She said the love she had for him had nothing to do with the work they did or the angles they had, it was a real connection between two people. She finishes by saying "Hot Stuff Eddie Gilbert didn't die, my ex-husband did. And it hurt."
When her lawsuit with WCW finally wrapped, she was able to work in the wrestling buisness again, so Paul Heyman immediately hired her in early 1997 in ECW.
Missy was paired with Sandman and notes how some guys didn't like to work with him because he was at least half drunk all the time and had bad body oder.
Missy says Sandman's wife accused Missy of sleeping with Sandman and even hit her with a boot once. But Missy maintains nothing happened between them and I believe her. She mentions damn near everyone she slept with in this book, from Road Warrior Hawk to Raven to a bunch of football and hockey players. She said one time while driving past a cemetery, Sandman asked her of she ever had sex on a grave and she thinks (hopes) he was only joking. That's the most sexual their conversations ever got.
Missy has nothing but good things to say about Francine in ECW, but nothing but bad things to say about Beulah. She calls Beulah a bitch and tells a story about how difficult she was when Missy wanted to shoot a calendar with the women of ECW. She makes fun of Beulah for her early days appearing an adult magazine called Cheri. Missy says Cheri made Hustler look like Reader's Digest. She does note how Beulah was quick to leave the wrestling buisness shortly after Missy got there, and tried excusing her poor attitude as someone who was looking to put wrestling behind them.
One time in the ring with Dreamer, Sandman, Beulah and another girl named Kimona, Missy got pissed when Beulah and Kimona started making out and getting all the attention. She told Sandman to pour one of his beers down the front of her chest and she says no one was looking at those 2 girls again. She finishes the story by saying "No one upstaged Missy."
Sandman's wife legit broke Missy's elbow when they were supposed to have one of those dumb cat fights. At some point Sandman's wife grabbed hold of a kendo stick and swung it as hard as possible, catching Missy in the arm and breaking her elbow. Missy says it happened because Sandman's wife was paranoid about Sandman cheating on her and took offence to some shit Missy said in a working promo.
Missy was done working like that in ECW and asked Paul Heyman if she could announce alongside Joey Styles, when he said no, she quit ECW.
She briefly worked as an announcer for the short lived American Wrestling Federation, but that promotion made no money ever and quickly shut its doors.
Missy mentions a couple relationships and flings in the book, but one of the last ones is a hookup with Val Venis. She calls it "the shortest, lamest sex I've ever had. Talk about a guys gimmick not being him!"
Missy was done with the wrestling buisness after a decade and half, and says she spent a year earning her medical technician certificate, and got a job prepping movie stars and models for boob jobs. Good for her!
The book ends with her saying she is working on her bachelor's degree with a major in psychology and a minor in political science. She was still doing the odd indi shows but hardly gets recognized on the streets anymore. This book was published in 2001 so she would have written it before then, probably in 2000.
Looking her up online she did graduate with a degree in Psychology! She did a few random indi appearances and one TNA appearance a couple years ago, but that's it.
The book ends with her listing her top 10 wrestling regrets...
Never worked a Wrestlemania for WWF.
Never got to tell Eddie Gilbert how much she admired him and how much he taught her.
Never kicked Sandman's wife's ass. She is dead serious, as of writing the book you can tell she really really wanted to.
Never slept with Sweet Stan Lane.
Never somersaulted backwards off the top rope.
Never got a tongue lashing from Gene Simmons of Kiss.
Never gave Sunshine enough credit for showing me how to catfight.
Never lewinskied Jesse Ventura. (Anyone know what this means? She doesn't expand on it and never mentioned Ventura in the book, outside of describing how he transitioned into the broadcast booth)
Never studied psychology while active in the buisness.
Never got that Missy Doll.
This was a fun, and short read. Not a lot of research done on her behalf, it was all done from memory so she rarely mentioned what year the stories were taking place in and she talked a lot about hooking up with wrestlers, unafraid of naming them. I'd love to know how much she made off the WCW lawsuit though.

Hi guys I am 2025 tard (online zoom coaching and dummy school) and my prep is not going well due to health and consistency issues in 11th class but from December end I am studying better than before (I wasted around 3-4 months completely). Now I have completed prerequisite topics of 12th. Now the thing is I have been feeling depressed from last 15 days and my appetite has almost become 0 lost 8 kg of weight. I feel that I should have gone for regular school like as now I wont be able to attend farewell and all + I dont have no school friends as I have not attended offline school after 8th. However I had 2 friends other than school with whom I played cricket, watched movies both of them are getting transfered and I may also get transferred. I feel my social life is destroyed. I am like an ambivert I can make friends and talk to people initate conversations. But like I have not talked to any girl of my age from past 2 years even on chat. And the tnesion of transfer as I have to change school teases me as well as I may have to change the school, the due transfer was one of the reason why I took online classes. Now I also feel I may be left out in college. I suck at dance and singing. I did recite some poems on stage in official party of my father's colleagues 2 year back, I also travelled alone from flight 3 months back and met sachin Tendulkar and sunil gavaskar. I now think that why I am I doing jee and what will btech fetch me. How will I improve my communication skills and How will I improve my spoken English language. For mobility I only use scooter that too not in rush area. My hobbies were sub 30 rubiks cube solver, knew basic premiere pro and after effects, had basic knowledge of mahabharata, pc building , made some videos and poem recitation for family meeting, played state level badminton under 13 before an injury in ankle,fitness I go to the gym occasionally . Now I have shared most of this to my parents and they are supporting me, my dad said agr hojaaye toh koi problem nhi naa ho tobhi koi problem nhi. But the tension like what will I do in life? Keeps teasing me + as my friends are transfered I can only talk them on phone and after all this when I study and I am not able to solve questions I feel like ending myself and yesterday I searched painless ways to die, but then stopped and said it is just an exam. My mom said purana chunnu kaha gya even the maid aunty jee who comes to work at my home also observed all this. Guys now just please help mei out I just need your help and guidance and motivation. And if someone has similar situation feel free to talk.
TLDR: Please read complete story if you have free time.

Hey! I don’t know if this place is still active, but I am having a HELL OF A TIME trying to figure out if I’m an ENJ or an ENP. I am hoping y’all can help me out here :)

1. How old are you? What's your gender? Give us a general description of yourself.

I am 32 yo, and a cis-woman who is married :)
Idk how I’m being asked to describe myself, so I’ll do the best I can: Though I love my family, I am easily carried away with work due to hyper focus. I am a planner, though I don’t always follow through about 30% of the time. I HATE SURPRISES, but love to party and hang out with folks in social settings. Physically, I am in shape, especially for a PhD student since I run to bust stress. I am 5’6” and weigh about 115 lbs—I’ve always had trouble keeping weight on because I forget to eat all the time, ever since I was a small child. I prefer my hair to be long because it connects me with my culture (Choctaw nation), and my fashion sense can be described as contradictory yet still put together? For example, I wear a three piece pantsuit with pinstripes—love the mafia look! But pair it with nude heels and red lipstick, these are my go-tos ;) I only wear a full face of makeup on days I teach or have my own classes.
I have black hair and almost black eyes and pale olive skin

1. Is there a medical diagnosis that may impact your mental stability somehow?

ADHD (combined), dyslexia, insomnia, and C-PTSD

1. Describe your upbringing. Did it have any kind of religious or structured influence? How did you respond to it?

Oh dear, where to begin with my dysfunctional g family of origin?e. Other than C-PTSD and ADHD (and insomnia in my case) my sister and I turned out fairly normal. My parents were also Bible thumpers, but did not actually read it beyond the age of 10, but I did when I was 8, 15, and 23. And wow, there were some nasty arguments when I realized how much they gaslit and lied to my sister and me.
I suppose I responded well to my mother’s structure, she was a highly successful career woman, and I always made A’s despite the fact that I was always lost in class and never knew what was going on until the teacher yelled at me.
Being put on adderall made me cry because I realized how much of my life was spent in a state of constant confusion.

1. What do you do as a job or as a career (if you have one)? Do you like it? Why or why not?

I am a professor of English with my research focus on fan studies I LOVE my job because I get to do what I love most; read fanfiction, read literary theory, sometimes I work with Disney, and most of all, I get to hang out with other nerds 🤓

1. If you had to spend an entire weekend by yourself, how would you feel? Would you feel lonely or refreshed?

It depends on the week I’ve had…
If I’ve been hitting the books really hard, then I’d feel lonely; however, if I spent the week socializing, I’d probably feel refreshed

1. What kinds of activities do you prefer? Do you like, and are you good at sports? Do you enjoy any other outdoor or indoor activities?

I love to run for stress and for fun, I fence competitively, and I love playing team games with random people I meet at the park.
I mostly enjoy outdoor sports, but I also love to ice skate.
Many folks and coaches have commented that I am naturally athletic and good at sports with excellent hand eye coordination, however, my spatial awareness is absolutely atrocious to the point I constantly injure myself.
As for indoor stuff, I LOVE JIGSAW PUZZLES and have quite the collection :) I also play a lot of video games (FF, RE, KH, and Pal world) and write fanfiction! Currently, I have 4 long stories going (been working on them for years in bursts) and 3 short stories. I’m trying to finish the long stories before I start any new ones, but it’s soooo hard to wait so I have been brainstorming the new stories while writing to finish the old ones :)

1. How curious are you? Do you have more ideas then you can execute? What are your curiosities about? What are your ideas about - is it environmental or conceptual, and can you please elaborate?

Omg, my parents favorite line when they were frustrated with me was, “YOU’RE ALL TALK AND NO ACTION!” 🤣🤣🤣 the looks on their faces still make me chuckle warmly; you’ve got to laugh when you’re an alien to your own parents. I have a lot of ideas, and most (75%) get executed once I synthesize my many ideas down to one or two big ideas.
Though my ideas mostly revolve around humanity; why are humans so evil? What makes them good? Why are we a mix of good and bad? Why can’t people act rationally? I am always looking for flaws in all systems, from computers to human societies, nothing is safe from my criticism, especially when people act from their pasts or act solely on emotions.
I daydream A LOT, in fact, it’s so bad I have been diagnosed with maladaptive daydreaming! I daydream so many what ifs for art, films, stories, people, and myself. Most of the time though, I'm daydreaming to understand emotions and humanity better by pretending to be others and mimicking their emotional states through playing out the day dream

1. Would you enjoy taking on a leadership position? Do you think you would be good at it? What would your leadership style be?

Yes, leadership has a tendency to fall unto me, which I don’t mind at all because I can actually do and get something accomplished in higher education. I am a goal oriented leader who doesn’t quit until our goal is met and I get my hands dirty with those to whom I delegate tasks.

1. Are you coordinated? Why do you feel as if you are or are not? Do you enjoy working with your hands in some form? Describe your activity?

No, I have very poor coordination, in fact, I injure myself quite often bumping into tables and such. However, if I can get enough sleep, I can be quite coordinated
I am not going to answer the last two questions in this section because they are redundant and I already answered them in section 6.

1. Are you artistic? If yes, describe your art? If you are not particular artistic but can appreciate art please likewise describe what forums of art you enjoy. Please explain your answer.

I am artistic with poetry, singing, and sewing costumes. My poetry tends to be a little dark and violent, yet empowering to those who have been victimized and refuse to be victims any longer. I also like to add a visual element to the poem, for example, I wrote a poem about Boudicca, a Celtic queen who gathered the oppressed Celtic clans and almost drove out the Roman invaders. Boudicca tends to be fiery, she had red hair, a temper, a badass Queen who refused to stay down when she and her daughters were brutally beaten and raped by Roman soldiers, and most of all, she gathered the courage for the Celts and became the backbone of the revolution to drive out the Roman invaders. To drive this point home to readers, I designed the stanzas to look like flames 🔥

1. What's your opinion about the past, present, and future? How do you deal with them?

I hate my past, but thankfully, I have a bad memory, so, I don’t remember much of my childhood aside from really traumatic or really great experiences.
My childhood was not a happy one, I was violently bullied from 6 until I was 20 for being neurodivergent and not masking like a “proper lady”
The present? I’d rather be in my head pondering various theories and entertaining certain thoughts, but I can definitely be present when I need to be. I have even snapped back to reality just in time to stop my mom, dad, or sister from doing something dangerous or getting themselves (or me) killed…
The future is where I’m at, and it is often the subject of my daydreaming. I am always trying to optimize myself and/or plan my future to reach these goals perfectly and within a time range I find acceptable.

1. How do you act when others request your help to do something (anything)? If you would decide to help them, why would you do so?

I get up and help, and sadly, I’m usually leading the “help” to accomplish the task we were asked to do.
? I don’t naturally think about why I do something since I have already intended to do it. I think this is lack of Fi?

1. Do you need logical consistency in your life?

Absolutely!!! A common line from me in therapy is “I need to stop trying to apply rationality to irrational things like feelings.”
In addition, though I often act like a cartoon character, I find it easy to put my own feelings aside. TBH I wish others were more like this, then we could actually accomplish the thing we originally set out to do instead of getting caught up in human drama.

1. How important is efficiency and productivity to you?

Extremely important! However, this doesn’t mean I’m all work and no play!

1. Do you control others, even if indirectly? How and why do you do that?

Sadly, yes, and I don’t even mean to because in my eyes, I’m just arguing my point/stance. I am working through this in therapy.
However, most people say I’m just “charismatic”, not manipulative—though I’d argue they’re the same thing

1. What are your hobbies? Why do you like them?

Another redundant question that has already been answered.

1. What is your learning style? What kind of learning environments do you struggle with most? Why do you like/struggle with these learning styles? Do you prefer classes involving memorization, logic, creativity, or your physical senses?

I have trouble learning in a quiet classroom, but benefit the most from collaborating—so long as I’m leading it of course ;)
Jk, jk..or am I?
I think I need to bounce ideas off folks in order to get a sense for what I think. Then I go off on my own and drop the subject from my consciousness only to come back to class the next day with a tone of insights on the topic.

1. How good are you at strategizing? Do you easily break up projects into manageable tasks? Or do you have a tendency to wing projects and improvise as you go?

I am very poor with tactics but amazingly good at strategy! If anything, I panic and turn in papers and projects a couple of days before they’re due
Time-blindness is real!

1. What are your aspirations in life, professionally and personally?

Life: to destroy the inter generational trauma and abuse that plagues both sides of my family. …I cannot help them not heal them, but I can save myself and my future children from their dysfunction.

1. What are your fears? What makes you uncomfortable? What do you hate? Why?

I will not answer this question; it is unwise to give out this information

1. What do the "highs" in your life look like?

“”

1. What do the "lows" in your life look like?

“”

1. How attached are you to reality? Do you daydream often, or do you pay attention to what's around you? If you do daydream, are you aware of your surroundings while you do so?

Again, redundant, but I will elaborate my previous answer here: I spend more time in my head than in”reality”, which is nothing more than a subjective construct. However, I am able to pay attention to my surroundings very well, more so than those who do not daydream. I’ve saved my nephew from being hurt by my inattentive husband who was walking way too fast without looking…and I saved my sisters hamster from being eaten by her cat on Christmas Day. I even said to my parents and sister, “is that the cat with the hamster in her jaws?!” They didn’t believe me until I was wrenching the poor girl from the cats jaws :(

1. Imagine you are alone in a blank, empty room. There is nothing for you to do and no one to talk to. What do you think about?

I don’t have an answer but I do have a question: does this room have bright overhead lights? Or is the lighting actually reasonable? Like having a lamp is read of an overhead light?

1. How long do you take to make an important decision? And do you change your mind once you've made it?

Maybe a day at most? I pretty much know what I want right away, and no, I don’t usually change my mind. I’ve done that maybe 5x in my life.
However, I will admit, my MBTI type is the most recent exception.

1. How long do you take to process your emotions? How important are emotions in your life?

I am still processing emotions that I guess I had 10 years ago. I hate it, it’s painful, but I also understand suppressing them is unhealthy, so, I do the work…albeit a bit later than most.
Emotions just muddy my processes and distract me from my goals, however, this is to the detriment of my social life. I’ve had friendships end because I chose work and deadlines over smoothing over problems in friendships.

1. Do you ever catch yourself agreeing with others just to appease them and keep the conversation going? How often? Why?

lol no, like, HECK NO. If one person isn’t feeling the conversation, it’s wrong to force it. Also I find it abusive/manipulative NOT TO CORRECT someone who is blatantly wrong.

1. Do you break rules often? Do you think authority should be challenged, or that they know better? If you do break rules, why?

I don’t break rules often, unless they just exist to make some power hungry jerk happy OR if it’s a rule that exists because it’s always existed. Really? Of course authority NEEDS TO BE CHALLENGED. Most people in positions of power have done nothing to actually merit their power, which is why so many fold immediately when someone asks a critical question. When people have authority, they become too comfortable and too confident to the point of arrogance. I would rather go at it alone than to be “allied” with these people…
THIS ASPECT OF HUMANITY—the need to follow—FRIGHTENS ME more than groupthink. And frankly, I just don’t get it…why would anyone follow an incompetent who likely know less than their followers do?
So bizarre…

Here are some AI tools that are useful for sales. I tried to touch as many different parts of the sales process so the tools are all quite different but all useful for sales. I tried to include some of the best and underrated AI tools. Most of them are free so check them out if you want.
I did not include ChatGPT as it can basically be used for anything with the right prompts. So these tools will be more research-oriented.
A quick disclaimer – I work for the company Idealink where we create custom ChatGPT for businesses and other AI products.

• Apollo AI
• Seamless AI
• CoPilot AI
• Lavender AI
• Regie AI
• Gemini
• Plusdocs
• Make
• Midjourney
• Fireflies AI

Apollo AI - Find potential customers
Apollo is a platform for sales and business development. It offers a range of tools to find and engage with ideal customers. The platform has an extensive B2B database and features that streamline the sales process from prospecting to closing deals.
Key Features:

• Extensive B2B Database: Apollo boasts a large, accurate database of over 275 million contacts, providing a wealth of potential leads and opportunities for sales teams.
• Data Enrichment and Lead Insights: The platform offers data enrichment capabilities, ensuring CRM systems are continuously updated with detailed and actionable lead information.
• AI-Driven Sales Engagement: Apollo's AI technology assists in crafting effective communication and prioritizing high-value leads, enhancing the overall sales engagement process.
• Comprehensive Sales Tools: The platform provides an integrated suite of tools for email, call, and social media engagement, combined with analytics and automation features to streamline the sales cycle.
• Tailored Solutions for Teams: Apollo offers customized solutions for different team types, including sales and business development, founders, and marketing teams, addressing specific needs and goals.

Seamless AI - Sale process made easier

Seamless.AI is an innovative B2B sales lead generation solution that allows sales teams to efficiently connect with their ideal customers. The platform's features provide accurate and up-to-date contact information and integrate easily with existing sales and marketing tools.

Key Features:

• Real-Time Search Engine: Seamless.AI uses AI to scour the web in real time, ensuring the contact information for sales leads is current and accurate.
• Comprehensive Integration: Easily integrates with popular CRMs and sales tools like Salesforce, HubSpot, and LinkedIn Sales Navigator, enhancing productivity and eliminating manual data entry.
• Chrome Extension: Enhances web browsing experience for sales teams, allowing them to build lead lists directly from their browser.
• Pitch Intelligence and Writer: Tools for crafting effective sales messages and marketing content, personalized for each potential customer.
• Data Enrichment and Autopilot: Keeps customer data current and automates lead-building, supporting consistent lead generation.
• Buyer Intent Data and Job Changes: Offers insights into potential customers' buying intentions and keeps track of significant job changes within key accounts.

CoPilot AI - Helps sales reps manage leads

CoPilot AI is an advanced AI-powered sales support platform designed for B2B sales teams and agencies to drive consistent revenue growth. The tool focuses on using LinkedIn for sales prospecting, engagement, and conversion.

Key Features:

• LinkedIn Lead Generation: Targets and automates outreach to high-intent LinkedIn leads, enhancing efficiency and scalability in lead generation.
• Personalized Messaging Automation: Facilitates sending of personalized, one-click messages at scale, maintaining a human touch in digital interactions.
• Sales Conversion Insights: Offers tools to understand and adapt to prospects' communication styles, improving the likelihood of conversion.
• Sales Process Optimization: Provides analytics to evaluate and refine sales strategies, identifying opportunities for improvement in the sales funnel.
• Industry Versatility: Adapts to diverse industries, offering tailored solutions for B2B sales, marketing, HR, and financial services sectors.
• Collaborative Team Tools: Enables team synchronization and collaboration, boosting productivity and synergy in sales teams

Lavender AI - Email AI assistant

Lavender AI is an AI-powered email tool that helps users write better emails. It provides real-time feedback and personalized suggestions to optimize email communication efficiency.
Key Features:

• Email Coaching and Scoring: Lavender evaluates emails using AI and a vast database of email interactions, offering a score and tips for improvement. It identifies factors that might reduce the likelihood of receiving a reply, helping users refine their email content.
• Personalization Assistant: This feature integrates prospect data directly into the user's email platform, suggesting personalization strategies based on recipient data and personality insights to foster deeper connections.
• Adaptive Improvement: Lavender's scoring and recommendations evolve in real-time with changing email behaviors and practices, thanks to its generative AI and extensive data analysis, ensuring users always follow the best practices.
• Data-Driven Managerial Insights: The platform provides managers with valuable insights derived from actual email interactions, aiding them in coaching their teams more effectively based on real performance and communication trends.
• Broad Integration Capability: Lavender integrates with various email and sales platforms including Gmail, Outlook, and others, making it versatile for different user preferences and workflows.

Regie AI - Great for business intelligence

Regie.ai simplifies the sales prospecting process for businesses, using GenAI and automation to improve interactions with prospects.
The platform offers tools like Auto-Pilot for automatic prospecting and meeting scheduling, Co-Pilot for sales rep support, and integrations with various CRM and sales engagement platforms. It also includes a Chrome Extension and CMS for content management and customization.

Key Features:

• Automated Prospecting with Auto-Pilot: Regie.ai's Auto-Pilot feature autonomously prospects and schedules meetings, using Generative AI for Sales Agents to enhance outbound sales efforts.
• Audience Discovery and Content Generation: The platform identifies target accounts not in the CRM, generating relevant, on-brand content for each message, thus ensuring efficiency in list building and message personalization.
• Outbound Prioritization and Dynamic Engagement: It utilizes engagement and intent data to prioritize outreach to in-market prospects and adjust engagement strategies based on buyer responsiveness.
• Full Funnel Brand Protection and Analytics: Regie.ai ensures consistent use of marketing-approved language in all sales outreach and provides insights into campaign and document performance, thereby safeguarding brand integrity throughout the sales funnel.

Gemini - AI powered conversational platform

Gemini is a large language model chatbot developed by Google AI. It can generate text, translate languages, write different creative text formats, and answer your questions in an informative way. It is still under development but has learned to perform many kinds of tasks.
Key features:

• Generate different creative text formats of text content (poems, code, scripts, musical pieces, email, letters, etc.)
• Answer your questions in an informative way, even if they are open ended, challenging, or strange.
• Translate languages
• Follow your instructions and complete your requests thoughtfully.

Plusdocs (Plus AI) - AI tool for presentations

Plus AI is a versatile tool that helps improve presentations and integrates with Slides in a simple and intuitive way. It simplifies slide creation and customization by converting text into slides and utilizing AI for various languages.
Key Features:

• Text-to-Slide Conversion: Plus AI excels in transforming textual content into visually appealing slides, streamlining the presentation creation process.
• Multilingual AI Support: The tool is equipped to handle various languages, making it adaptable for a global user base.
• Professional Design Options: Users have access to professionally designed slide layouts, enabling the creation of polished presentations with ease.
• Customization and AI Design: Plus AI allows for extensive customization, including the use of AI for designing and editing slides, ensuring unique and personalized presentations.
• Live Snapshots and Templates: The tool offers live snapshots for real-time updates and a wide range of templates for quick and effective slide creation.

Make - AI automation

Make is a powerful visual platform that allows users to build and automate tasks, workflows, apps, and systems. It offers an intuitive, no-code interface that empowers users across various business functions to design and implement complex processes without the need for developer resources.
Key Features:

• No-Code Visual Workflow Builder: Make's core feature is its user-friendly interface that allows for the creation of intricate workflows without coding expertise, making it accessible to a wide range of users.
• Extensive App Integration: The platform boasts compatibility with over 1000 apps, facilitating seamless connections and data sharing across diverse tools and systems.
• Custom Automation Solutions: Make enables personalized automation strategies, fitting various business needs from marketing automation to IT workflow control.
• Template Library: Users can jumpstart their automation projects with a vast collection of pre-built templates, which are customizable to fit specific workflow requirements.
• Enterprise-Level Solutions: Make offers advanced options for larger organizations, including enhanced security, single sign-on, custom functions, and dedicated support.

Midjourney - Making sales content
Midjourney is an AI-based image generation tool that changes the way we visualise and create digital art. It offers a lot of artistic possibilities, allowing users to create stunning images from text prompts. This innovative service caters to artists, designers, and anyone seeking to bring their creative visions to life.

Key Features:

• Advanced AI Image Generation: Midjourney's core strength lies in its powerful AI algorithms, which interpret text prompts to generate detailed, high-quality images. This feature allows users to explore an endless array of visual concepts and styles.
• User-driven Customization: The tool offers significant control over the image creation process, enabling users to guide the AI with specific instructions, ensuring that the final output aligns closely with their vision.
• Diverse Artistic Styles: Midjourney can mimic various artistic styles, from classical to contemporary, providing users with a wide range of aesthetic options for their creations.
• Collaboration and Community Features: The platform fosters a community of users who can share, critique, and collaborate on artistic projects, enriching the creative experience.

Fireflies AI - Sales meeting assistant
Fireflies.ai is a powerful tool for improving team productivity and efficiency in managing meetings and voice conversations. It offers a range of features to simplify the process of capturing, organizing, and analyzing meeting content.

Key Features:

• Automatic Meeting Transcription: Fireflies.ai can transcribe meetings held on various video-conferencing platforms and dialers. The tool captures both video and audio, providing transcripts quickly and efficiently.
• AI-Powered Search and Summarization: It allows users to review long meetings in a fraction of the time, highlighting key action items, tasks, and questions. Users can filter and focus on specific topics discussed in meetings.
• Improved Collaboration: The tool enables adding comments, pins, and reactions to specific conversation parts. Users can create and share soundbites and integrate meeting notes with popular collaboration apps such as Slack, Notion, and Asana.
• Conversation Intelligence: Fireflies.ai offers insights into meetings by tracking metrics like speaker talk time and sentiment. It helps in coaching team members and improving performance in sales, recruiting, and other internal processes.
• Workflow Automation: The AI assistant from Fireflies.ai can log call notes and activities in CRMs, create tasks through voice commands, and share meeting recaps instantly across various platforms.
• Comprehensive Knowledge Base: It compiles all voice conversations into an easily accessible and updatable knowledge base, with features to organize meetings into channels and set custom privacy controls.

I’ll keep updating this little guide, so add your comments and I’ll try to add more tools. This is all just a personal opinion, so it’s completely cool if you disagree with it. Btw here is the link to the full blog post about all the AI tools in a bit more depth.

Here are some AI tools that are useful for sales. I tried to touch as many different parts of the sales process so the tools are all quite different but all useful for sales. I tried to include some of the best and underrated AI tools. Most of them are free so check them out if you want.
I did not include ChatGPT as it can basically be used for anything with the right prompts. So these tools will be more research-oriented.
A quick disclaimer – I work for the company Idealink where we create custom ChatGPT for businesses and other AI products.

• Apollo AI
• Seamless AI
• CoPilot AI
• Lavender AI
• Regie AI
• Gemini
• Plusdocs
• Make
• Midjourney
• Fireflies AI

Apollo AI - Find potential customers
Apollo is a platform for sales and business development. It offers a range of tools to find and engage with ideal customers. The platform has an extensive B2B database and features that streamline the sales process from prospecting to closing deals.
Key Features:

• Extensive B2B Database: Apollo boasts a large, accurate database of over 275 million contacts, providing a wealth of potential leads and opportunities for sales teams.
• Data Enrichment and Lead Insights: The platform offers data enrichment capabilities, ensuring CRM systems are continuously updated with detailed and actionable lead information.
• AI-Driven Sales Engagement: Apollo's AI technology assists in crafting effective communication and prioritizing high-value leads, enhancing the overall sales engagement process.
• Comprehensive Sales Tools: The platform provides an integrated suite of tools for email, call, and social media engagement, combined with analytics and automation features to streamline the sales cycle.
• Tailored Solutions for Teams: Apollo offers customized solutions for different team types, including sales and business development, founders, and marketing teams, addressing specific needs and goals.

Seamless AI - Sale process made easier

Seamless.AI is an innovative B2B sales lead generation solution that allows sales teams to efficiently connect with their ideal customers. The platform's features provide accurate and up-to-date contact information and integrate easily with existing sales and marketing tools.

Key Features:

• Real-Time Search Engine: Seamless.AI uses AI to scour the web in real time, ensuring the contact information for sales leads is current and accurate.
• Comprehensive Integration: Easily integrates with popular CRMs and sales tools like Salesforce, HubSpot, and LinkedIn Sales Navigator, enhancing productivity and eliminating manual data entry.
• Chrome Extension: Enhances web browsing experience for sales teams, allowing them to build lead lists directly from their browser.
• Pitch Intelligence and Writer: Tools for crafting effective sales messages and marketing content, personalized for each potential customer.
• Data Enrichment and Autopilot: Keeps customer data current and automates lead-building, supporting consistent lead generation.
• Buyer Intent Data and Job Changes: Offers insights into potential customers' buying intentions and keeps track of significant job changes within key accounts.

CoPilot AI - Helps sales reps manage leads

CoPilot AI is an advanced AI-powered sales support platform designed for B2B sales teams and agencies to drive consistent revenue growth. The tool focuses on using LinkedIn for sales prospecting, engagement, and conversion.

Key Features:

• LinkedIn Lead Generation: Targets and automates outreach to high-intent LinkedIn leads, enhancing efficiency and scalability in lead generation.
• Personalized Messaging Automation: Facilitates sending of personalized, one-click messages at scale, maintaining a human touch in digital interactions.
• Sales Conversion Insights: Offers tools to understand and adapt to prospects' communication styles, improving the likelihood of conversion.
• Sales Process Optimization: Provides analytics to evaluate and refine sales strategies, identifying opportunities for improvement in the sales funnel.
• Industry Versatility: Adapts to diverse industries, offering tailored solutions for B2B sales, marketing, HR, and financial services sectors.
• Collaborative Team Tools: Enables team synchronization and collaboration, boosting productivity and synergy in sales teams

Lavender AI - Email AI assistant

Lavender AI is an AI-powered email tool that helps users write better emails. It provides real-time feedback and personalized suggestions to optimize email communication efficiency.
Key Features:

• Email Coaching and Scoring: Lavender evaluates emails using AI and a vast database of email interactions, offering a score and tips for improvement. It identifies factors that might reduce the likelihood of receiving a reply, helping users refine their email content.
• Personalization Assistant: This feature integrates prospect data directly into the user's email platform, suggesting personalization strategies based on recipient data and personality insights to foster deeper connections.
• Adaptive Improvement: Lavender's scoring and recommendations evolve in real-time with changing email behaviors and practices, thanks to its generative AI and extensive data analysis, ensuring users always follow the best practices.
• Data-Driven Managerial Insights: The platform provides managers with valuable insights derived from actual email interactions, aiding them in coaching their teams more effectively based on real performance and communication trends.
• Broad Integration Capability: Lavender integrates with various email and sales platforms including Gmail, Outlook, and others, making it versatile for different user preferences and workflows.

Regie AI - Great for business intelligence

Regie.ai simplifies the sales prospecting process for businesses, using GenAI and automation to improve interactions with prospects.
The platform offers tools like Auto-Pilot for automatic prospecting and meeting scheduling, Co-Pilot for sales rep support, and integrations with various CRM and sales engagement platforms. It also includes a Chrome Extension and CMS for content management and customization.

Key Features:

• Automated Prospecting with Auto-Pilot: Regie.ai's Auto-Pilot feature autonomously prospects and schedules meetings, using Generative AI for Sales Agents to enhance outbound sales efforts.
• Audience Discovery and Content Generation: The platform identifies target accounts not in the CRM, generating relevant, on-brand content for each message, thus ensuring efficiency in list building and message personalization.
• Outbound Prioritization and Dynamic Engagement: It utilizes engagement and intent data to prioritize outreach to in-market prospects and adjust engagement strategies based on buyer responsiveness.
• Full Funnel Brand Protection and Analytics: Regie.ai ensures consistent use of marketing-approved language in all sales outreach and provides insights into campaign and document performance, thereby safeguarding brand integrity throughout the sales funnel.

Gemini - AI powered conversational platform

Gemini is a large language model chatbot developed by Google AI. It can generate text, translate languages, write different creative text formats, and answer your questions in an informative way. It is still under development but has learned to perform many kinds of tasks.
Key features:

• Generate different creative text formats of text content (poems, code, scripts, musical pieces, email, letters, etc.)
• Answer your questions in an informative way, even if they are open ended, challenging, or strange.
• Translate languages
• Follow your instructions and complete your requests thoughtfully.

Plusdocs (Plus AI) - AI tool for presentations

Plus AI is a versatile tool that helps improve presentations and integrates with Slides in a simple and intuitive way. It simplifies slide creation and customization by converting text into slides and utilizing AI for various languages.
Key Features:

• Text-to-Slide Conversion: Plus AI excels in transforming textual content into visually appealing slides, streamlining the presentation creation process.
• Multilingual AI Support: The tool is equipped to handle various languages, making it adaptable for a global user base.
• Professional Design Options: Users have access to professionally designed slide layouts, enabling the creation of polished presentations with ease.
• Customization and AI Design: Plus AI allows for extensive customization, including the use of AI for designing and editing slides, ensuring unique and personalized presentations.
• Live Snapshots and Templates: The tool offers live snapshots for real-time updates and a wide range of templates for quick and effective slide creation.

Make - AI automation

Make is a powerful visual platform that allows users to build and automate tasks, workflows, apps, and systems. It offers an intuitive, no-code interface that empowers users across various business functions to design and implement complex processes without the need for developer resources.
Key Features:

• No-Code Visual Workflow Builder: Make's core feature is its user-friendly interface that allows for the creation of intricate workflows without coding expertise, making it accessible to a wide range of users.
• Extensive App Integration: The platform boasts compatibility with over 1000 apps, facilitating seamless connections and data sharing across diverse tools and systems.
• Custom Automation Solutions: Make enables personalized automation strategies, fitting various business needs from marketing automation to IT workflow control.
• Template Library: Users can jumpstart their automation projects with a vast collection of pre-built templates, which are customizable to fit specific workflow requirements.
• Enterprise-Level Solutions: Make offers advanced options for larger organizations, including enhanced security, single sign-on, custom functions, and dedicated support.

Midjourney - Making sales content
Midjourney is an AI-based image generation tool that changes the way we visualise and create digital art. It offers a lot of artistic possibilities, allowing users to create stunning images from text prompts. This innovative service caters to artists, designers, and anyone seeking to bring their creative visions to life.

Key Features:

• Advanced AI Image Generation: Midjourney's core strength lies in its powerful AI algorithms, which interpret text prompts to generate detailed, high-quality images. This feature allows users to explore an endless array of visual concepts and styles.
• User-driven Customization: The tool offers significant control over the image creation process, enabling users to guide the AI with specific instructions, ensuring that the final output aligns closely with their vision.
• Diverse Artistic Styles: Midjourney can mimic various artistic styles, from classical to contemporary, providing users with a wide range of aesthetic options for their creations.
• Collaboration and Community Features: The platform fosters a community of users who can share, critique, and collaborate on artistic projects, enriching the creative experience.

Fireflies AI - Sales meeting assistant
Fireflies.ai is a powerful tool for improving team productivity and efficiency in managing meetings and voice conversations. It offers a range of features to simplify the process of capturing, organizing, and analyzing meeting content.

Key Features:

• Automatic Meeting Transcription: Fireflies.ai can transcribe meetings held on various video-conferencing platforms and dialers. The tool captures both video and audio, providing transcripts quickly and efficiently.
• AI-Powered Search and Summarization: It allows users to review long meetings in a fraction of the time, highlighting key action items, tasks, and questions. Users can filter and focus on specific topics discussed in meetings.
• Improved Collaboration: The tool enables adding comments, pins, and reactions to specific conversation parts. Users can create and share soundbites and integrate meeting notes with popular collaboration apps such as Slack, Notion, and Asana.
• Conversation Intelligence: Fireflies.ai offers insights into meetings by tracking metrics like speaker talk time and sentiment. It helps in coaching team members and improving performance in sales, recruiting, and other internal processes.
• Workflow Automation: The AI assistant from Fireflies.ai can log call notes and activities in CRMs, create tasks through voice commands, and share meeting recaps instantly across various platforms.
• Comprehensive Knowledge Base: It compiles all voice conversations into an easily accessible and updatable knowledge base, with features to organize meetings into channels and set custom privacy controls.

I’ll keep updating this little guide, so add your comments and I’ll try to add more tools. This is all just a personal opinion, so it’s completely cool if you disagree with it. Btw here is the link to the full blog post about all the AI tools in a bit more depth.

Here are some AI tools that are useful for sales. I tried to touch as many different parts of the sales process so the tools are all quite different but all useful for sales. I tried to include some of the best and underrated AI tools. Most of them are free so check them out if you want.
I did not include ChatGPT as it can basically be used for anything with the right prompts. So these tools will be more research-oriented.
A quick disclaimer – I work for the company Idealink where we create custom ChatGPT for businesses and other AI products.

• Apollo AI
• Seamless AI
• CoPilot AI
• Lavender AI
• Regie AI
• Gemini
• Plusdocs
• Make
• Midjourney
• Fireflies AI

Apollo AI - Find potential customers
Apollo is a platform for sales and business development. It offers a range of tools to find and engage with ideal customers. The platform has an extensive B2B database and features that streamline the sales process from prospecting to closing deals.
Key Features:

• Extensive B2B Database: Apollo boasts a large, accurate database of over 275 million contacts, providing a wealth of potential leads and opportunities for sales teams.
• Data Enrichment and Lead Insights: The platform offers data enrichment capabilities, ensuring CRM systems are continuously updated with detailed and actionable lead information.
• AI-Driven Sales Engagement: Apollo's AI technology assists in crafting effective communication and prioritizing high-value leads, enhancing the overall sales engagement process.
• Comprehensive Sales Tools: The platform provides an integrated suite of tools for email, call, and social media engagement, combined with analytics and automation features to streamline the sales cycle.
• Tailored Solutions for Teams: Apollo offers customized solutions for different team types, including sales and business development, founders, and marketing teams, addressing specific needs and goals.

Seamless AI - Sale process made easier

Seamless.AI is an innovative B2B sales lead generation solution that allows sales teams to efficiently connect with their ideal customers. The platform's features provide accurate and up-to-date contact information and integrate easily with existing sales and marketing tools.

Key Features:

• Real-Time Search Engine: Seamless.AI uses AI to scour the web in real time, ensuring the contact information for sales leads is current and accurate.
• Comprehensive Integration: Easily integrates with popular CRMs and sales tools like Salesforce, HubSpot, and LinkedIn Sales Navigator, enhancing productivity and eliminating manual data entry.
• Chrome Extension: Enhances web browsing experience for sales teams, allowing them to build lead lists directly from their browser.
• Pitch Intelligence and Writer: Tools for crafting effective sales messages and marketing content, personalized for each potential customer.
• Data Enrichment and Autopilot: Keeps customer data current and automates lead-building, supporting consistent lead generation.
• Buyer Intent Data and Job Changes: Offers insights into potential customers' buying intentions and keeps track of significant job changes within key accounts.

CoPilot AI - Helps sales reps manage leads

CoPilot AI is an advanced AI-powered sales support platform designed for B2B sales teams and agencies to drive consistent revenue growth. The tool focuses on using LinkedIn for sales prospecting, engagement, and conversion.

Key Features:

• LinkedIn Lead Generation: Targets and automates outreach to high-intent LinkedIn leads, enhancing efficiency and scalability in lead generation.
• Personalized Messaging Automation: Facilitates sending of personalized, one-click messages at scale, maintaining a human touch in digital interactions.
• Sales Conversion Insights: Offers tools to understand and adapt to prospects' communication styles, improving the likelihood of conversion.
• Sales Process Optimization: Provides analytics to evaluate and refine sales strategies, identifying opportunities for improvement in the sales funnel.
• Industry Versatility: Adapts to diverse industries, offering tailored solutions for B2B sales, marketing, HR, and financial services sectors.
• Collaborative Team Tools: Enables team synchronization and collaboration, boosting productivity and synergy in sales teams

Lavender AI - Email AI assistant

Lavender AI is an AI-powered email tool that helps users write better emails. It provides real-time feedback and personalized suggestions to optimize email communication efficiency.
Key Features:

• Email Coaching and Scoring: Lavender evaluates emails using AI and a vast database of email interactions, offering a score and tips for improvement. It identifies factors that might reduce the likelihood of receiving a reply, helping users refine their email content.
• Personalization Assistant: This feature integrates prospect data directly into the user's email platform, suggesting personalization strategies based on recipient data and personality insights to foster deeper connections.
• Adaptive Improvement: Lavender's scoring and recommendations evolve in real-time with changing email behaviors and practices, thanks to its generative AI and extensive data analysis, ensuring users always follow the best practices.
• Data-Driven Managerial Insights: The platform provides managers with valuable insights derived from actual email interactions, aiding them in coaching their teams more effectively based on real performance and communication trends.
• Broad Integration Capability: Lavender integrates with various email and sales platforms including Gmail, Outlook, and others, making it versatile for different user preferences and workflows.

Regie AI - Great for business intelligence

Regie.ai simplifies the sales prospecting process for businesses, using GenAI and automation to improve interactions with prospects.
The platform offers tools like Auto-Pilot for automatic prospecting and meeting scheduling, Co-Pilot for sales rep support, and integrations with various CRM and sales engagement platforms. It also includes a Chrome Extension and CMS for content management and customization.

Key Features:

• Automated Prospecting with Auto-Pilot: Regie.ai's Auto-Pilot feature autonomously prospects and schedules meetings, using Generative AI for Sales Agents to enhance outbound sales efforts.
• Audience Discovery and Content Generation: The platform identifies target accounts not in the CRM, generating relevant, on-brand content for each message, thus ensuring efficiency in list building and message personalization.
• Outbound Prioritization and Dynamic Engagement: It utilizes engagement and intent data to prioritize outreach to in-market prospects and adjust engagement strategies based on buyer responsiveness.
• Full Funnel Brand Protection and Analytics: Regie.ai ensures consistent use of marketing-approved language in all sales outreach and provides insights into campaign and document performance, thereby safeguarding brand integrity throughout the sales funnel.

Gemini - AI powered conversational platform

Gemini is a large language model chatbot developed by Google AI. It can generate text, translate languages, write different creative text formats, and answer your questions in an informative way. It is still under development but has learned to perform many kinds of tasks.
Key features:

• Generate different creative text formats of text content (poems, code, scripts, musical pieces, email, letters, etc.)
• Answer your questions in an informative way, even if they are open ended, challenging, or strange.
• Translate languages
• Follow your instructions and complete your requests thoughtfully.

Plusdocs (Plus AI) - AI tool for presentations

Plus AI is a versatile tool that helps improve presentations and integrates with Slides in a simple and intuitive way. It simplifies slide creation and customization by converting text into slides and utilizing AI for various languages.
Key Features:

• Text-to-Slide Conversion: Plus AI excels in transforming textual content into visually appealing slides, streamlining the presentation creation process.
• Multilingual AI Support: The tool is equipped to handle various languages, making it adaptable for a global user base.
• Professional Design Options: Users have access to professionally designed slide layouts, enabling the creation of polished presentations with ease.
• Customization and AI Design: Plus AI allows for extensive customization, including the use of AI for designing and editing slides, ensuring unique and personalized presentations.
• Live Snapshots and Templates: The tool offers live snapshots for real-time updates and a wide range of templates for quick and effective slide creation.

Make - AI automation

Make is a powerful visual platform that allows users to build and automate tasks, workflows, apps, and systems. It offers an intuitive, no-code interface that empowers users across various business functions to design and implement complex processes without the need for developer resources.
Key Features:

• No-Code Visual Workflow Builder: Make's core feature is its user-friendly interface that allows for the creation of intricate workflows without coding expertise, making it accessible to a wide range of users.
• Extensive App Integration: The platform boasts compatibility with over 1000 apps, facilitating seamless connections and data sharing across diverse tools and systems.
• Custom Automation Solutions: Make enables personalized automation strategies, fitting various business needs from marketing automation to IT workflow control.
• Template Library: Users can jumpstart their automation projects with a vast collection of pre-built templates, which are customizable to fit specific workflow requirements.
• Enterprise-Level Solutions: Make offers advanced options for larger organizations, including enhanced security, single sign-on, custom functions, and dedicated support.

Midjourney - Making sales content
Midjourney is an AI-based image generation tool that changes the way we visualise and create digital art. It offers a lot of artistic possibilities, allowing users to create stunning images from text prompts. This innovative service caters to artists, designers, and anyone seeking to bring their creative visions to life.

Key Features:

• Advanced AI Image Generation: Midjourney's core strength lies in its powerful AI algorithms, which interpret text prompts to generate detailed, high-quality images. This feature allows users to explore an endless array of visual concepts and styles.
• User-driven Customization: The tool offers significant control over the image creation process, enabling users to guide the AI with specific instructions, ensuring that the final output aligns closely with their vision.
• Diverse Artistic Styles: Midjourney can mimic various artistic styles, from classical to contemporary, providing users with a wide range of aesthetic options for their creations.
• Collaboration and Community Features: The platform fosters a community of users who can share, critique, and collaborate on artistic projects, enriching the creative experience.

Fireflies AI - Sales meeting assistant
Fireflies.ai is a powerful tool for improving team productivity and efficiency in managing meetings and voice conversations. It offers a range of features to simplify the process of capturing, organizing, and analyzing meeting content.

Key Features:

• Automatic Meeting Transcription: Fireflies.ai can transcribe meetings held on various video-conferencing platforms and dialers. The tool captures both video and audio, providing transcripts quickly and efficiently.
• AI-Powered Search and Summarization: It allows users to review long meetings in a fraction of the time, highlighting key action items, tasks, and questions. Users can filter and focus on specific topics discussed in meetings.
• Improved Collaboration: The tool enables adding comments, pins, and reactions to specific conversation parts. Users can create and share soundbites and integrate meeting notes with popular collaboration apps such as Slack, Notion, and Asana.
• Conversation Intelligence: Fireflies.ai offers insights into meetings by tracking metrics like speaker talk time and sentiment. It helps in coaching team members and improving performance in sales, recruiting, and other internal processes.
• Workflow Automation: The AI assistant from Fireflies.ai can log call notes and activities in CRMs, create tasks through voice commands, and share meeting recaps instantly across various platforms.
• Comprehensive Knowledge Base: It compiles all voice conversations into an easily accessible and updatable knowledge base, with features to organize meetings into channels and set custom privacy controls.

I’ll keep updating this little guide, so add your comments and I’ll try to add more tools. This is all just a personal opinion, so it’s completely cool if you disagree with it. Btw here is the link to the full blog post about all the AI tools in a bit more depth.

Here are some AI tools that are useful for sales. I tried to touch as many different parts of the sales process so the tools are all quite different but all useful for sales. I tried to include some of the best and underrated AI tools. Most of them are free so check them out if you want.
I did not include ChatGPT as it can basically be used for anything with the right prompts. So these tools will be more research-oriented.
A quick disclaimer – I work for the company Idealink where we create custom ChatGPT for businesses and other AI products.

• Apollo AI
• Seamless AI
• CoPilot AI
• Lavender AI
• Regie AI
• Gemini
• Plusdocs
• Make
• Midjourney
• Fireflies AI

Apollo AI - Find potential customers
Apollo is a platform for sales and business development. It offers a range of tools to find and engage with ideal customers. The platform has an extensive B2B database and features that streamline the sales process from prospecting to closing deals.
Key Features:

• Extensive B2B Database: Apollo boasts a large, accurate database of over 275 million contacts, providing a wealth of potential leads and opportunities for sales teams.
• Data Enrichment and Lead Insights: The platform offers data enrichment capabilities, ensuring CRM systems are continuously updated with detailed and actionable lead information.
• AI-Driven Sales Engagement: Apollo's AI technology assists in crafting effective communication and prioritizing high-value leads, enhancing the overall sales engagement process.
• Comprehensive Sales Tools: The platform provides an integrated suite of tools for email, call, and social media engagement, combined with analytics and automation features to streamline the sales cycle.
• Tailored Solutions for Teams: Apollo offers customized solutions for different team types, including sales and business development, founders, and marketing teams, addressing specific needs and goals.

Seamless AI - Sale process made easier

Seamless.AI is an innovative B2B sales lead generation solution that allows sales teams to efficiently connect with their ideal customers. The platform's features provide accurate and up-to-date contact information and integrate easily with existing sales and marketing tools.

Key Features:

• Real-Time Search Engine: Seamless.AI uses AI to scour the web in real time, ensuring the contact information for sales leads is current and accurate.
• Comprehensive Integration: Easily integrates with popular CRMs and sales tools like Salesforce, HubSpot, and LinkedIn Sales Navigator, enhancing productivity and eliminating manual data entry.
• Chrome Extension: Enhances web browsing experience for sales teams, allowing them to build lead lists directly from their browser.
• Pitch Intelligence and Writer: Tools for crafting effective sales messages and marketing content, personalized for each potential customer.
• Data Enrichment and Autopilot: Keeps customer data current and automates lead-building, supporting consistent lead generation.
• Buyer Intent Data and Job Changes: Offers insights into potential customers' buying intentions and keeps track of significant job changes within key accounts.

CoPilot AI - Helps sales reps manage leads

CoPilot AI is an advanced AI-powered sales support platform designed for B2B sales teams and agencies to drive consistent revenue growth. The tool focuses on using LinkedIn for sales prospecting, engagement, and conversion.

Key Features:

• LinkedIn Lead Generation: Targets and automates outreach to high-intent LinkedIn leads, enhancing efficiency and scalability in lead generation.
• Personalized Messaging Automation: Facilitates sending of personalized, one-click messages at scale, maintaining a human touch in digital interactions.
• Sales Conversion Insights: Offers tools to understand and adapt to prospects' communication styles, improving the likelihood of conversion.
• Sales Process Optimization: Provides analytics to evaluate and refine sales strategies, identifying opportunities for improvement in the sales funnel.
• Industry Versatility: Adapts to diverse industries, offering tailored solutions for B2B sales, marketing, HR, and financial services sectors.
• Collaborative Team Tools: Enables team synchronization and collaboration, boosting productivity and synergy in sales teams

Lavender AI - Email AI assistant

Lavender AI is an AI-powered email tool that helps users write better emails. It provides real-time feedback and personalized suggestions to optimize email communication efficiency.
Key Features:

• Email Coaching and Scoring: Lavender evaluates emails using AI and a vast database of email interactions, offering a score and tips for improvement. It identifies factors that might reduce the likelihood of receiving a reply, helping users refine their email content.
• Personalization Assistant: This feature integrates prospect data directly into the user's email platform, suggesting personalization strategies based on recipient data and personality insights to foster deeper connections.
• Adaptive Improvement: Lavender's scoring and recommendations evolve in real-time with changing email behaviors and practices, thanks to its generative AI and extensive data analysis, ensuring users always follow the best practices.
• Data-Driven Managerial Insights: The platform provides managers with valuable insights derived from actual email interactions, aiding them in coaching their teams more effectively based on real performance and communication trends.
• Broad Integration Capability: Lavender integrates with various email and sales platforms including Gmail, Outlook, and others, making it versatile for different user preferences and workflows.

Regie AI - Great for business intelligence

Regie.ai simplifies the sales prospecting process for businesses, using GenAI and automation to improve interactions with prospects.
The platform offers tools like Auto-Pilot for automatic prospecting and meeting scheduling, Co-Pilot for sales rep support, and integrations with various CRM and sales engagement platforms. It also includes a Chrome Extension and CMS for content management and customization.

Key Features:

• Automated Prospecting with Auto-Pilot: Regie.ai's Auto-Pilot feature autonomously prospects and schedules meetings, using Generative AI for Sales Agents to enhance outbound sales efforts.
• Audience Discovery and Content Generation: The platform identifies target accounts not in the CRM, generating relevant, on-brand content for each message, thus ensuring efficiency in list building and message personalization.
• Outbound Prioritization and Dynamic Engagement: It utilizes engagement and intent data to prioritize outreach to in-market prospects and adjust engagement strategies based on buyer responsiveness.
• Full Funnel Brand Protection and Analytics: Regie.ai ensures consistent use of marketing-approved language in all sales outreach and provides insights into campaign and document performance, thereby safeguarding brand integrity throughout the sales funnel.

Gemini - AI powered conversational platform

Gemini is a large language model chatbot developed by Google AI. It can generate text, translate languages, write different creative text formats, and answer your questions in an informative way. It is still under development but has learned to perform many kinds of tasks.
Key features:

• Generate different creative text formats of text content (poems, code, scripts, musical pieces, email, letters, etc.)
• Answer your questions in an informative way, even if they are open ended, challenging, or strange.
• Translate languages
• Follow your instructions and complete your requests thoughtfully.

Plusdocs (Plus AI) - AI tool for presentations

Plus AI is a versatile tool that helps improve presentations and integrates with Slides in a simple and intuitive way. It simplifies slide creation and customization by converting text into slides and utilizing AI for various languages.
Key Features:

• Text-to-Slide Conversion: Plus AI excels in transforming textual content into visually appealing slides, streamlining the presentation creation process.
• Multilingual AI Support: The tool is equipped to handle various languages, making it adaptable for a global user base.
• Professional Design Options: Users have access to professionally designed slide layouts, enabling the creation of polished presentations with ease.
• Customization and AI Design: Plus AI allows for extensive customization, including the use of AI for designing and editing slides, ensuring unique and personalized presentations.
• Live Snapshots and Templates: The tool offers live snapshots for real-time updates and a wide range of templates for quick and effective slide creation.

Make - AI automation

Make is a powerful visual platform that allows users to build and automate tasks, workflows, apps, and systems. It offers an intuitive, no-code interface that empowers users across various business functions to design and implement complex processes without the need for developer resources.
Key Features:

• No-Code Visual Workflow Builder: Make's core feature is its user-friendly interface that allows for the creation of intricate workflows without coding expertise, making it accessible to a wide range of users.
• Extensive App Integration: The platform boasts compatibility with over 1000 apps, facilitating seamless connections and data sharing across diverse tools and systems.
• Custom Automation Solutions: Make enables personalized automation strategies, fitting various business needs from marketing automation to IT workflow control.
• Template Library: Users can jumpstart their automation projects with a vast collection of pre-built templates, which are customizable to fit specific workflow requirements.
• Enterprise-Level Solutions: Make offers advanced options for larger organizations, including enhanced security, single sign-on, custom functions, and dedicated support.

Midjourney - Making sales content
Midjourney is an AI-based image generation tool that changes the way we visualise and create digital art. It offers a lot of artistic possibilities, allowing users to create stunning images from text prompts. This innovative service caters to artists, designers, and anyone seeking to bring their creative visions to life.

Key Features:

• Advanced AI Image Generation: Midjourney's core strength lies in its powerful AI algorithms, which interpret text prompts to generate detailed, high-quality images. This feature allows users to explore an endless array of visual concepts and styles.
• User-driven Customization: The tool offers significant control over the image creation process, enabling users to guide the AI with specific instructions, ensuring that the final output aligns closely with their vision.
• Diverse Artistic Styles: Midjourney can mimic various artistic styles, from classical to contemporary, providing users with a wide range of aesthetic options for their creations.
• Collaboration and Community Features: The platform fosters a community of users who can share, critique, and collaborate on artistic projects, enriching the creative experience.

Fireflies AI - Sales meeting assistant
Fireflies.ai is a powerful tool for improving team productivity and efficiency in managing meetings and voice conversations. It offers a range of features to simplify the process of capturing, organizing, and analyzing meeting content.

Key Features:

• Automatic Meeting Transcription: Fireflies.ai can transcribe meetings held on various video-conferencing platforms and dialers. The tool captures both video and audio, providing transcripts quickly and efficiently.
• AI-Powered Search and Summarization: It allows users to review long meetings in a fraction of the time, highlighting key action items, tasks, and questions. Users can filter and focus on specific topics discussed in meetings.
• Improved Collaboration: The tool enables adding comments, pins, and reactions to specific conversation parts. Users can create and share soundbites and integrate meeting notes with popular collaboration apps such as Slack, Notion, and Asana.
• Conversation Intelligence: Fireflies.ai offers insights into meetings by tracking metrics like speaker talk time and sentiment. It helps in coaching team members and improving performance in sales, recruiting, and other internal processes.
• Workflow Automation: The AI assistant from Fireflies.ai can log call notes and activities in CRMs, create tasks through voice commands, and share meeting recaps instantly across various platforms.
• Comprehensive Knowledge Base: It compiles all voice conversations into an easily accessible and updatable knowledge base, with features to organize meetings into channels and set custom privacy controls.

I’ll keep updating this little guide, so add your comments and I’ll try to add more tools. This is all just a personal opinion, so it’s completely cool if you disagree with it. Btw here is the link to the full blog post about all the AI tools in a bit more depth.