What the symptoms of guanaria of a man

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2010.07.02 05:48 geoviedo Spider-Man

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2012.01.13 04:52 Glitch in the Matrix

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2013.01.31 10:32 SplodeyDope Florida Man!

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2024.05.19 20:34 fhfhfhghfgg lack of sense of self/shifting identities?

Hey everyone, I’m someone without BPD but someone I love has it and I’m kind of having a crisis over a certain symptom. I’ve seen a lot of people with and without BPD talk about a lack of sense of self or stable identity, and this is definitely something my ex girlfriend turned close friend struggles with. When we met she was going through a bit of a tradcath phase, but considering we’re both women that kind of was at odds with our relationship. About 6 months through dating she confessed to me that the narrative of her past that she’d been telling me was actually not true, instead of being someone just discovering that she liked women she was actually a lifelong lesbian who had been with other women before (she had told me I was the first one). I didn’t really care about that because it didn’t change how I felt, if anything it made me feel a bit more secure that it wasn’t just some experiment. Eventually we broke up for other reasons but we had a really close and special relationship, so for the next four years we had an on and off close friendship that would sometimes veer into romantic/sexual, but the narrative was always that we shared a special love in the past that was the foundation of the close friendship that followed. She also dated other women during this time. She was very into being a lesbian during these years, talking about how much she loves women, lesbian culture/music/gossip etc and was really into feminism and was a bit of a man hater (I’m not really). We shared a lot of experiences and past traumas because of this.
Now suddenly she’s revealed to me that over the past few months she met a man and she’s actually straight, could never love a woman and our entire past was actually a lie. She’s allowed to date whoever she wants obviously, and sometimes these things change, but this is such a rapid overhaul of who she was just a few months ago that feels completely unnatural, and I think this new personality is one that I won’t like/is very triggering for me. She told me that she was fine abusing me in our relationship because I’m a woman and that she treats this guy much betteviews him as more important than me even though they just met because he’s a man. It feels vaguely homophobic and unnecessarily cruel to say you used women but men are more worthy by default. Even though I still care about her I told her that I don’t think I could grow to like someone like that and it feels like I have to mourn the person I was close with and the past she’s trying to erase.
Is this normal? Or is this just a particularly aggressive version of the lack of identity symptom? Is it really that easy to just change who you are like that? I’m sorta at a loss with what I should do here. Have you ever had an intense shift in personality like this that resulted in you losing friendships?
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2024.05.19 18:16 stranglethebars What impact have the criticisms by D&G, Foucault etc. of psychiatry and psychoanalysis/psychology had on those fields?

From the Wikipedia article on anti-psychiatry:
In the 1960s, there were many challenges to psychoanalysis and mainstream psychiatry, where the very basis of psychiatric practice was characterized as repressive and controlling.[5] Psychiatrists identified with the anti-psychiatry movement included Timothy Leary, R. D. Laing, Franco Basaglia, Theodore Lidz, Silvano Arieti, and David Cooper. Others involved were Michel Foucault, Gilles Deleuze, Félix Guattari, and Erving Goffman.
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In The Sane Society (1955), Fromm wrote "An unhealthy society is one which creates mutual hostility [and] distrust, which transforms man into an instrument of use and exploitation for others, which deprives him of a sense of self, except inasmuch as he submits to others or becomes an automaton"..."Yet many psychiatrists and psychologists refuse to entertain the idea that society as a whole may be lacking in sanity. They hold that the problem of mental health in a society is only that of the number of 'unadjusted' individuals, and not of a possible unadjustment of the culture itself"
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Psychoanalysis was increasingly criticized as unscientific or harmful.[47] Contrary to the popular view, critics and biographers of Freud, such as Alice Miller, Jeffrey Masson and Louis Breger, argued that Freud did not grasp the nature of psychological trauma. Non-medical collaborative services were developed, for example therapeutic communities or Soteria houses.
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It has been argued by philosophers like Foucault that characterizations of "mental illness" are indeterminate and reflect the hierarchical structures of the societies from which they emerge rather than any precisely defined qualities that distinguish a "healthy" mind from a "sick" one. Furthermore, if a tendency toward self-harm is taken as an elementary symptom of mental illness, then humans, as a species, are arguably insane in that they have tended throughout recorded history to destroy their own environments, to make war with one another, etc.
From the "Critical perspectives" section of the Wikipedia article on psychoanalysis:
Contemporary French philosophers Michel Foucault and Gilles Deleuze asserted that the institution of psychoanalysis has become a center of power, and that its confessional techniques resemble those included and utilized within the Christian religion.
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Belgian psycholinguist and psychoanalyst Luce Irigaray also criticized psychoanalysis, employing Jacques Derrida's concept of phallogocentrism to describe the exclusion of the woman both from Freudian and Lacanian psychoanalytical theories.
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Together with Deleuze, the French psychoanalyst and psychiatrist Félix Guattari criticized the Oedipal and schizophrenic power structure of psychoanalysis and its connivance with capitalism in Anti-Oedipus (1972)[154] and A Thousand Plateaus (1980), the two volumes of their theoretical work Capitalism and Schizophrenia.
Deleuze and Guattari in Anti-Oedipus take the cases of Gérard Mendel, Bela Grunberger, and Janine Chasseguet-Smirgel, prominent members of the most respected psychoanalytical associations (including the IPA), to suggest that, traditionally, psychoanalysis had always enthusiastically enjoyed and embraced a police state throughout its history.
So, to what extent have those fields accepted, and adjusted in accordance with, those criticisms?
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2024.05.19 15:41 AdamLuyan 2.2 Vision Test before Revelation

2.2 Vision Test before Revelation
While listening to Peach Flower Catastrophe, mom suddenly said with emotion, "I just realized it, Big Brother! You are telling me a story. How can little Luyan understand an adult's story!"
Uncle Dragon replied: "It's the same! All listens."
Mom said, "It's not the same, it's an adult story; how much can little Luyan understand!"
Uncle Dragon said, "He understands some of it, but he can remember it. When, in the future, he comes across this, he will be able to recall it."
Mom said, "Where can he come across this; can Luyan have a ‘Peach Flower Catastrophe’ in the future?"
Uncle Dragon said, "I mean similar things, a small part, a little portion, and when he runs into something similar, he connects it and understands it."
Mom said, "Ah! I see, you mean that's how his mind, insight grows. In that case, his intellect develops even faster! Then all children should be taught this way."
Uncle Dragon said, "I don't know about other children, but Luyan can remember. You see when he listens, he keeps staring at me, thinking all the time. Where are the other children like this!"
Mom said, "I think you just like him; what's different about Luyan!"
Mom plopped over to look at me. Uncle Dragon asked my mom, "What are you looking at him for?"
Mom said, "You said he stares at you and listens all the time; let me see how he stares at you without blinking. Uh-huh! That's what it is! Oh, dear! We've got to take a break, in case of exhausting him!"
Uncle Dragon said, "Yes, yes! Oh, my God! Look at me, I'm such a big man! Let's change the subject to let Luyan rest for a while."
Mom went back to mending clothes on the east bed and said, "Big Brother, do you think there's something wrong with Luyan’s eyes?"
Uncle Dragon said, "Let me see!" He walked back and forth from side to side, looking at me as he moved, and said, "I don't see anything wrong."
Mom said, "I'm always trying to teach him to read the quotes from Chairman Mao on those two boxes; but it's always as if he can't see. The other day, I took him to a wedding, and I pointed it out to him. He looked at it too, but he acted as if he couldn't see it."
https://preview.redd.it/wmts3uyrzd1d1.jpg?width=300&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b399020d5028bdce6d77032ed49d1ad6f8ec4cef
Uncle Dragon said, "Is that so? Let me try. Luyan! Look here, look at this hieroglyph. Luyan! Look over here, look at my hand. That's strange! He can't see it. Somehow, he can't focus here (note, this is a symptom of being blindfolded when doing the ‘Flesh Eye Through’)."
↪️Return to Catalog of Chapter 2 Revelation
submitted by AdamLuyan to LifeTree [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 15:36 5grothendieck7 Should I get on TRT? Have extreme fitness, everything else sucks

Hello! I am 35M and my main problems are that I have low libido, erectile dysfunction, REALLY HARD to climax, no morning wood ever, can't sleep well, depression, and just have a general bleak outlook towards everything: nothing makes me happy or cheers me up. I have desire for sex like once every 1-2 weeks, this isn't normal. I started taking cialis when I anticipate sex and it helps but there has to be an underlying cause to my low libido / ED. I only sleep ~5 hours. I have enough time to do 8-9 hours but after ~5 hrs I just wake up and cant fall asleep again and start overthinking about all my problems.
I have googled my symptoms and a lot points to having low testosterone levels. I keep reading and a lot of the recommendations is to get enough sleep (can't), eat well (definitely do!), and exercise.
Okay so on exercising, I do lots of it. It's my latest obsession since the pandemic began. I run 30-40 miles every week, bicycle 100-150 miles per week, and do upperbody weights 3-4 times per week. I dedicate ~15 hours a week on fitness. I am *extremely* fit, very muscular looking, have ~10% body fat, low 40s resting heart rate, just ran a 3h30m full-marathon, have done a half-Ironman etc.
The sex aspect has been interesting, all my life through my 20s I was a 1-2 minutes man, climaxing immediately and as a result never making the woman climax with penetration. Now it is really hard for me to climax and because I have really good stamina/endurance I can last literally hours and I am now always making the women climax through penetration. I guess all it takes is to last long enough. This is with cialis to get rock-hard. It also has the drawback that sometimes I make them climax 2-3 times and I never do. They get self-conscious thinking I dont like them, which is not true. I have trouble making myself climax even by myself. This aspect in a way is enjoyable since I always felt like a failure in sex (climaxing fast, not making them climax, etc) but I still know there is something wrong with me, and I depend on cialis.
I went to my primary doctor and told him all of this. He ordered a blood test and my levels were:
TESTOSTERONE, FREE (pg/mL) 51.0 [range: 46.0-224.0]
TESTOSTERONE, TOTAL, MS (ng/dL) 608 [range: 250-1100]
He said the levels were "fine" but if I had further concerns to go to an urologist. He also said that he has read that extreme endurance exercising can cause my issues (I dont think what I do is extreme endurance...?)
I am afraid the urologist will just say the same (that the levels are fine) and I waste my specialist copay etc and I am just thinking of going straight to one of the clinics mentioned in this sub? I have kids and do not care about fertility etc (had vasectomy done)
Could someone offer their opinion on my situation?
Thanks.
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2024.05.19 14:51 Ready-Fee-9108 Why do abusive fathers in particular never notice how crappy their behavior/household is?

I was talking to (arguing with) my father, and he kept going on about how he provides for the household and that because he's so manly he has managed to have a family. I'm not understanding this because I've lived with him literally my entire life and he's so manipulative and just a vile person in general that no one in the household except for him actually thinks that he's a good father or that the household in general is happy.
We talk about this all of the time, that he's childish and just makes everyone uncomfortable. Whenever he talks to people, he yells so loud and angry that you can hear it no matter where you are in the house, and whenever he walks, no matter how late at night, he stomps with what feels like all of his force (we both weigh the same amount and you can't even hear me take footsteps unless you're actually listening for them). Whenever we go out, he argues with the host, the manager, the server, you name them, he always thinks he's above them. He does his hobbies, and throws a fit when you try to placate him and tell him "yeah dude that's interesting, but please stop making me like dozens of one thing and clutter my room/the house/the backyard/the garage with it."
And it's just like he doesn't notice at all, he's has zero self awareness, which is genuinely amazing, because he's in his 50s and doesn't even have the slightest idea that he's an asshole? It's like he's still a child and he makes everyone coddle him emotionally. When he gets criticized, he just gaslights. If he's told no, he intimidates you and insists that you say yes. If you still don't say yes, he grills you, and starts personally attacking you, under the guise of advice, and him wanting the best for you.
I hate it because his behavior gave me lasting symptoms. I live with my parents right now and my heart is always pounding, and whenever I hear those stomping footsteps I fear they are coming to my room and I have to start gasping for air. Whenever he physically gets near me I start clenching my jaw and I'm always anticipating confrontation. I hate this
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2024.05.19 12:57 Logical_Act_6927 My boyfriend makes me paranoid and I don’t know what to do

TLDR: My boyfriend is amazing, but has depression which makes him constantly upset and irritated with me, making me extremely paranoid and on edge with everything I say because i’m scared he’ll get upset. He keeps saying he’d change, but goes back to how he was, but he is now seemingly making more of an effort to change by changing his medication and going to therapy. I still feel very paranoid and anxious with him even though he is doing better, but i’m worried that in the process of him getting fully better, he’ll go back to how he was, and I don’t know how much more of it I can take. He is an amazing man and I love him so much, but I’m worried I will always feel on edge when I’m with him. Any advice?
Hi! A little backstory, my boyfriend (19M) suffers from depression, and has always taken medication for it since he was younger. Right before we met, he had taken a gap year to focus on his mental health, and got to a point where he went off his medication because he didn’t like how it made him feel (zombie-like). We first met (we technically already knew each other but that’s besides the point)around 4-5 months before he would’ve started college again, and got together around 2 months into being friends. As school came around, he became really scared that he would have to take another gap semesteyear, because even though getting off his medication helped to an extent, he was still struggling with dealing with his mental health. At the same time, he was worried about getting on medication because he told me that he experiences and adjustment period for the first 6 weeks that causes him to become irritable and agitated very easily and have increased suicidal ideation, but even after the adjustment period, irritability would still be a side effect that he had to deal with and manage.
Eventually, when school started, his mental health did become worse, so he decided to get on medication again, and he did go through an adjustment period. It was a struggle- it was hard seeing him very sad and depressed all the time, and I always tried to help him as best as I could- offering to help him get ready in the morning/drive him to school if he couldn’t get out of bed, helping him with assignments, etc.
At the same time, he definitely became constantly agitated with me. If I didn’t hear him say something and asked him to repeat it (although this was also an issue before he started the medication, but i feel like it got more pronounced), he would basically get very clearly annoyed and quiet, barely talking to me or shutting me down with one word responses. If i didn’t text him for a couple of hours (i have adhd and will sometimes forget to text, which i know is reasonable to be upset about, but he would also do the same thing when playing games with friends), or talked just a bit too much (another adhd symptom, which again i understand can get annoying because i can sometimes go on for VERY long), or if i forget something (an item, memory, or something he told me before), or if we have a recurring joke but for some reason just didn’t like it that day, or if i called him on the phone unprompted (which he does to me too, so i didn’t know that was something i couldn’t do) or if i just say any normal thing but for some reason he just didn’t like it that day, i would be met with irritation, passive aggressiveness, and the silent treatment. I would’ve been slightly more okay with it if it was just a few minutes and then he was back to normal, but he would continue like this for HOURS. If we started talking in the evening, and i said something that slightly annoyed him, it was basically a guarantee that he would be essentially silent for the rest of the night. Not only that, but this happened almost every single day.
I’d like to note that he never expressed his irritation in an angry way, or yelled/said harmful things about me/did anything physical, he would just become very quiet, and anything he did say was very clearly in an irritated voice, as well as passive aggressive remarks.
Eventually, I talked about this with him. When i did, i basically completely forgot that his medication was a reason for a lot of what was happening, so when i talked to him about it, I didn’t mention medication at all. He told me that his medication caused a lot of his agitation and at first accused me of not believing that his medication caused side effects/not taking them seriously, but eventually apologized and said that it wasn’t an excuse and that he’d do better, but also said that sometimes i misinterpreted him as upset when he really wasn’t (which tbh i don’t believe, because sometimes if i pointed something out that he did, he’d say he wasn’t upset or annoyed at all, but a day or two later, tell me he was irritated with me).
He did do better for a bit, but after around a month it basically went to the same way it was before. This went on for a few months, I continued to have conversations with him, he continued to tell me he’d do better, and he would be a bit until he wasn’t. To be fair, after the 6 week adjustment period was over, he still was not doing well at all for about another month, and so he increased his medication dose, which made him have another adjustment period, and he did tell me that his biggest concern was how he’d treat me during that time, so I decided to keep being patient until he got his medication under control.
Fast forward a couple of months, and I was seeing improvements- until about 2 months ago. We saw each other a lot more often; before this time, we’d usually see each other 1-2 times a week and we’d have some sleepovers, but in those two months, i’d stay over at his house for 3-5 days a week. During this time, his irritation got way worse. He definitely valued his independence, but would continuously ask me to stay over, it wasn’t like I urged him to let me stay over. Here are some examples of things that happened:
  1. before i came over, he told me how he didn’t want to think about making food because he was stressed over schoolwork. I asked him if I could make him something, he told me yes, so I made pizza while he showered. I’ve made pizza several times before, he made it once with me(also, i’ve cooked for years while he only started occasionally baking things when we got together since i liked to cook/bake), and when he came down, he saw the pizza dough was slightly stickier than it looked when he made it with me. He got annoyed and kept asking what I did wrong, and that from now on, i should only cook when he was with me to make sure I don’t mess it up, and then basically became extremely quiet for the next 15-30 minutes. I think he realized he sounded super weird saying this, and tried to turn it into a joke after those 30 minuted, but it made me feel really bad in the moment becsude I only wanted to do something nice for him. By the way, the pizza turned out great- my friend came over to eat with us and told us it was one of the best pizzas she’s ever had.
  2. These next few are connected: The next day, he was at school, and I happened to not have school that day so I stayed at his house while he was there to rest because I had a really bad headache. Again, the past few days he told me how stressed he was about school, so I wanted to surprise him. I cleaned his room, made pizza sauce for pizza since we had extra dough (he really likes the pizza), and made him cookies because he told me he was craving them a few days before. He took an uber to school (he couldn’t drive yet at this point), and so I also offered to pick him up.
* The first thing that happened was he has a mildly confusing alarm system I had to disable before going outside to get to the car. If i didn’t do the steps correctly, the alarm would sound. Basically, I had to disable the alarm, go through the garage door and close it fully, press the button to open the garage, go back inside and press another button tot turn the alarm back on, and go out the garage door while it’s beeping and fully close the door again to stop the beeping. He told me these directions and I followed them, and the beeping continue to happen even after I closed the door. i texted him that I was walking out the garage but there was still beeping, he told me it was okay, but then the alarm went off. I think he thought that I didn’t close the garage door yet, which is why he thought it was okay? But apparently I didn’t wait for him to fully give him instructions (which I was genuinely confused about bc even looking back at the texts now he did), and he got extremely frustrated with me, telling me that because I didn’t properly follow directions, it was now going to call his parents. He kept saying that it was whatever, and that he’d just take an uber, but I apologized profusely and kept telling him that I’d do it right. He texted his mom, and apparently he told me to press the wrong button, and that i need to press a different one instead after going back in through the garage door. In the moment, he kept saying that the other button was still right and always works for him, but later he admitted that he was probably wrong about it. * The second thing that happened isn’t really a big deal, but i’ll still include it. My boyfriend also has anxiety, and is a very big backseat driver. However, backseat driving makes me extremely paranoid and be a worse driver, so it’s just a never ending cycle. I would be following the directions on the GPS, and he would keep telling me the directions as if I can’t see them myself. For example, if i’m about to turn right, he’d would keep repeating “turn right over here” a bunch of times, each one more with more urgency, as if it isn’t what I was already doing. He will pick apart everything I do, and tell me not to talk too much or turn the music up too loud because it would distract me. Again, to be fair, because of my ADHD, I do get distracted easily, even on the road, but it’s usually pretty manageable, and I’m able to talk on the phone/listen to music when driving when I’m by myself. The problem is with him, I get paranoid over what i’m doing, so I get distracted, and I guess that makes it seem like the music/talking is what’s distracting me. Again, when he backseat drives, he also gets extremely agitated/quiet, and he basically continued on like that for the next few hours. * Lastly, when we got home, he was irritated over everything I did. I did leave a bit later than I told him I would because of the things I was preparing (i think i left at 3:15 instead of 3), but I told him beforehand, and he told me to take my time and come anytime I wanted to since I was going out of my way to drive him(be told me this right when I offered to drive him and after I told him i’d be a bit late). When we got home, I told him about what i made and that I cleaned his room, but he got upset because I made the pizza sauce/cookies because he wanted us to do it together. I told him that I would’ve loved to make them together, but just wanted to surprise him because he told me he had a lot of work to do and told me he was craving cookies earlier. He said that he didn’t have as much work anymore, and told me that he thought I knew that because he told me the assignments he need to do (i did know that most of the deadlines were for that day and the day before, but he told me he had some deadlines for a few days after and had told me his whole week was busy, but I guess to him I should’ve know that most of his pressing work would’ve been done that day). He was upset with me again for another few hours, and I tried to tell him there were things we could still do together like assemble the pizza, make something the next day, etc, but he wasn’t having it. Eventually a few hours later he got over it and told me he appreciated that I made him those things, and he was disappointed that we couldn’t do it together, and then mentioned that he was grateful that I cleaned up for him (he didn’t mention it before). 
Several other things happened, but I think that’s enough to somewhat get the picture. The biggest thing that happened though was just a couple of weeks ago. We hadn’t seen each other in maybe 2-3 weeks, and so I was really excited to get to see him. He had an exam that day, so I offered to drive him, and he again said that he didn’t want to worry about making food. The day before he told me he was craving pizza, so yet again I said i’d make it before i came over (starting to think pizza and me driving is cursed). I asked him before if it was okay that I made him pizza, and he said yes, and so we agreed that I would get to his house around 2 (it was maybe 10 am at the time). I bought supplies and started making the pizza. after a while though, I guess he changed his mind about me making the pizza because it took a while. Around 1, I could tell he was getting annoyed. He kept saying that the pizza wasn’t important enough bc i could’ve been at his house already. I finished making the pizza and got to his house pretty early, maybe 5-10 minutes before 2. After that, I was still waiting in the car for another 30 minutes because he was still getting ready, and he got to my car around 2:30. He was still very upset and annoyed with me and gave me the silent treatment. I tried to keep the mood light, but again, he just didn’t say anything. When we were driving, I asked him if he wanted to play music, and what song I should play, but just… complete silence, not even a nod or head shake or anything. For the entire ride he was just on his phone, texting a few friends, and I started to silently cry because I felt so unappreciated. When we got to his campus, he went to a reserved room, but I had to stay in the car because i have a tutoring job that’s online, and had a session at the same time we parked. The person I was supposed to tutor wasn’t there for the session, which was lucky for me because right when my boyfriend left, I started sobbing. When I got out of the car I was still crying as I was walking across the street, and decided to call my friend to take my mind off of everything. Her girlfriend also went to the same college as my boyfriend, and I didn’t know exactly where I was supposed to go, so I called her to help me find where I needed to go. Since we were calling, I didn’t see some texts my boyfriend sent me, but I finally found the room. I was a bit cheered up from my friend but still sad, but wanted to act happy and normal in case he was just randomly in a bad mood and just needed a distraction. When I came in, I was happy to see him and made some jokes, but all he said was “why didn’t you text me” in the most monotone, upset voice. I told him that I was sorry and forgot, would do better next time, and was going to explain that I was on the phone so i didn’t see his texts, but he interrupted me and said something like “i don’t care about you telling me you’re going to do better, just actually do it” in the meanest, irritated tone. It doesn’t seem like a big deal at all, but he has never retorted at me like that before, especially in the way he did. That was my final straw, and I just completely broke down and started crying. He kept asking me to talk to him and tell me what I was thinking, which only made it worse because it was pretty clear as to why I was crying. He comforted me, apologized, and then had to leave for his exam. For the next 4 hours he was in his exam, I was just crying nonstop. When he came back, I was still crying, and he kept apologizing and asked if I was going to break up with him. I told him I wasn’t, and then told him that this happened so often and I felt like no matter what I did, there was something I was doing wrong, and that I felt unloveable. He again apologized a lot and told me he loved me, and later told me that he really wanted to change his medication and get therapy.
A few days later, a similar thing happened, but not to that extent. My boyfriend just got his license and offered to pick me up from one of my exams. I told him I wasn’t sure how long the exam would be, and didn’t want to let him know yet because it could’ve taken very long. I was right- it was supposed to be from 12-3, but I ended up starting later end ending around 6:30. I texted him after I finished, but he told me he wished I would’ve let him know earlier because he wasn’t comfortable driving in the dark yet, which is reasonable. He became very quiet and upset again though, and again, anytime I made conversation, he would shut it down and be really upset. I also told him that I had to move out of my dorm, and so he didn’t have to come if he didn’t want to because it would’ve been a lot of things to haul out. He said that it was okay and that he wanted to see me, and so he came over. When he did, he got upset again because we fooled around for an hour or two instead packing everything up (which he initiated), and then as we started pskcking, he became mean and frustrated again. He kept saying that he just didn’t expect to be moving me out, and that he just wanted to pick me up and go home, even though so told him before that that’s what was going to happen. After everything was packed up and we were in the car, he was still silent and upset but a bit less so. I felt really bad and became quiet, and he told me and i quote: “i’m feeling really anxious to drive this car at night, so can you just act normal”, which felt weird for him to say because I was only acting like that because of he as acting mean. I wanted to get home though because it was pretty late, so I just played some music and acted like my normal self, and that made me feel a bit better. When we got home, he apologized again, and thanked me for being patient with him, and that he’d be getting help soon.
After that, he did become a lot nicer to me. There were things I’ve said which I was sure he was going to get upset over, but he just didn’t at all. Usually, even after he’d apologize other times, he would still get a bit upset with me, but it’d only last a few minutes before he became normal again. This time, he wasn’t upset at all even for the things he’d most commonly get upset about (like me not hearing what he said for example). Hes been this way for around 2 weeks, and had not been getting upset at all, and he said he’s getting therapy soon.
The problem now is, especially because of the last two incidents, I still feel extremely anxious and paranoid when I’m with him. I am constantly on edge because I’m worried I’ll say the wrong thing when I’m with him, and it’ll be just like how it has been for the past almost one year.
Looking back at what i just wrote, these instances don’t really seem like that big of a deal, especially compared to how some other people are treated on this subreddit. I think what makes me upset is just how often it happens and how it completely messes up our entire day because he’s just upset the entire time. In the past 3-4 months, I don’t think we’ve ever had a call/hangout where he upset for at least 1-2 hours. I think another thing that really hurts me is that he just acts completely different around me vs anyone else. A lot of the times when I call him, he will get so upset and annoyed so quickly for menial things. He plays games for hours a day, so sometimes when we’re facetime and he wants to play with some friends, he’ll set his camera up so I can watch him play while i do other things, kind of like a youtube video. Whenever we’re on call and he’s upset, and then tells me he wants to play and sets his camera up, his mood instantly changes. His face literally brightens up, and he seems so much happier and talkative. I will sometimes hear his friends on the other end, and they will say/do the exact same things that he gets annoyed at me with, and it just is not a big deal at all, he doesn’t even seem to notice that it happened. Same with my friends- One day, we were planning a trip to the beach, and were supposed to leave around 12 PM. When he came home, he became upset and quiet with me again, and I kept asking him what was wrong and if we’re still going on our trip, but he just ignored me. Finally, at around 6 PM, he was normal again, and then took another hour and a half to get ready, so we ended up leaving at 7:30 PM. My friend was texting me at the same time, so I told my boyfriend to talk to her while I was driving. As we were driving (we were around 15 minutes away at this point), I realized I forgot my license. I asked him if I should turn around, he kept telling me he wasn’t sure, and he was just very upset and annoyed with me, even though judt before we left a whole 7 hours later because he was upset. We drove for an hour before he decided that I should drive back, and I kept apologizing for forgetting my license, and that we could try again tomorrow morning. His mom told us we could go to dinner or something to make up for the day, and I asked him if he wanted to do that, and he just said “why would we do that what would we even eat” in a harsh tone. Again, I tried to keep it light, telling him that I was sorry and we could start fresh tomorrow, and he said that he didn’t want to go to the beach anymore in an upset tone. Again, for half of the night after we came home, he was upset and irritated with me. Later that night, I looked back at. the texts between my friend and boyfriend, and I was in shock with just how different he was acting with me in real life vs how he was acting with her. As he was upset with me, he was texting her with updates, making jokes, and basically just making it seem like it wasn’t a big deal at all that I didn’t have my license. In real life, he acted like I was so stupid for forgetting it, and that it was the worst thing I could’ve possibly done.
I feel like most people who read this might just think he values his independence, and that aim too clingy. I too thought that maybe I just wasn’t giving him his space, especially because I’m his first girlfriend. I will not offer to call/come over as much just to see if I’m the one asking too often and he feels too bad to say no, but when I don’t, he will keep asking me to call him and come over, and ask why I haven’t been talking to him as much/initiates calls or hangouts. He’ll tell me to call more often and hang out with him more often as well. If we hang out, I’ll tell him that I’ll go home for the night and don’t plan on sleeping over, and he’ll keep asking me if I could sleep over or when I could sleep over, and continue to make plans.
Despite what I’ve said, my boyfriend is genuinely the most amazing guy anyone could ever meet. He’s sweet, kind, and thoughtful with genuinely everyone- his parents, my friends, his friends, his professors, everyone. He is an amazing tipper, he goes out of his way to do things for my friends, and anytime i mention the slightest thing he’ll go out of his way to do it for me. For example, in the first month we met, he noticed my backpack and headphones were completely broken, so he bought me a new ones without me saying absolutely anything to him. When I drove him places, he saw that it was difficult for me to look at my phone to follow GPS directions, so he randomly bought me a car phone holder. On my birthday, he made me a card out of the acknowledgement page of the first book we read together, crossed out the authors name, and put my name, and wrote a bunch of sweet, adorable things about me. Because of my adhd, I would constantly forget to chargemy phone/laptop or bring my chargers, and would constantly have no charge on both, so he bought me a pack with 10 of each type of charger, as well as a portable charger. I offhandedly mentioned that I get really carsick, so he bought me dramamine and those carsickness goggles. He bought pads to keep with him just in case I need some, and always carries pepto and advil around because i get headaches a lot and have lots of stomachaches. He helped me move into my dorm, and bought me so many food and supplies even when I insisted that he didn’t. Whenever we go out with my friends, he always covers everything. For my friend’s birthday, everyone was going to chip in to buy her airpods, but he told them he’d cover their part and essentially just bought them for her. He is an insanely hard worker, and I am so proud of him for everything that he’s been through, and he is also just the most fun person to be around. I love him so so much, and I know that a lot of the way he’s acted is because of his depression, and I know that that’s not really him. I visited him yesterday and we had a really good time, but the entire time I kept being really careful with what I said because I was scared of him becoming upset. I’m scared that this anxiety I feel around him will last forever. I want to wait until he has everything under control, but if he becomes the same way that he was before again, I don’t know how much of it I can take. I don’t know what to do or where to go from here- can anyone help me?
submitted by Logical_Act_6927 to Advice [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 11:52 easypixels 27M Blurred vision and photophobia

Hi, six months ago I noticed my vision was getting blurry at the end of the day (I work on computer). Six months later after seeing two eyes specialists I'm waiting for my glasses to be ready but the blurring is now almost permanent (one week ago it completely left for a week though I don't know why) and I can't stand in sunlight, so I can't drive or work, I don't know what to do. I'm using artifical tears that work on a random basis, yesterday I was seeing almost crystal clear after I put them, but now I just put them and it does nothing. Everytime I use them though I have the same symptom as when I look at light - my eardrum sticks and unsticks (it's hard to explain because I've heard it's not common and even doctors look at me like a mad man when I tell them) - but exacerbated for like 5 minutes, which is painful.
I don't know what to do I can't live normally anymore it became dangerous to practice my passion (hiking) but it's driving me crazy that I can't have a normal life anymore.
submitted by easypixels to Eyesight [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 10:11 midnightshazes Autism & BPD

Does anybody else with autism feel suicidal when relationships end? I’m trying to work out whether my borderline personality disorder diagnosis was a misdiagnosis (I was diagnosed with bpd at 21 and autism at 23. I’m now 25) I didn’t have any particular traumatic event growing up so it would appear that it was a misdiagnosis, however I still feel like I relate to a lot of the symptoms of bpd, but im unsure whether those are just autistic traits or bpd? The more I read about how autism presents in women, the more I feel like they are such similar diagnoses I really can’t distinguish the difference between them. I attempted suicide when I was 20 twice, mainly because I was in love with a man who didn’t love me back. But also because I was terrified of leaving university as I had no idea what I was doing with my life and I was very burnt out. My therapist seems to think my bpd diagnosis was a misdiagnosis but I feel very conflicted and confused? I experience such intense emotional dysregulation, switching between loving someone and hating them, explosive anger, self harm, suicidal ideation. But I can’t tell if that’s autism or the bpd! Anyone got any ideas?
submitted by midnightshazes to autism [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 09:27 TurboMeowFire SUPER weird problem, anyone got any clues or advice?

Hi all! Just celebrated my 1 year anniversary of my LDR relationship a couple days ago! I feel really proud of getting this far, we plan on meeting again this July! But man, it's been a bit of a battle. Especially because of this:
My GF seems to have a really weird sleeping problem. Basically, we can be chatting at some point during the night, perfectly fine, she shows no signs of drowsiness at all. Then all of a sudden mid conversation, she just dissappears... (she falls asleep)
It's really become a pain point for me, and last night after it happened at a particularly bad time I finally gathered the courage to tell her just how much it bothers me.
She tells me that my assumption is true: She doesn't feel tired even in the slightest, but she can be writing to me and then blink and she falls asleep uncontrollably, instantly. Trying to search for this problem just gives a bunch of results for narcolepsy (which I don't think she has, she doesn't fall asleep during the day) and insomnia.
She was once diagnosed with insomnia, since she used to feel tired during the day and not get quality sleep, but she eventually went back and the doctoe told her she was no longer presenting symptoms. (This problem doesn't seem to be a symptom from what I've read on the internet.)
She can also seemingly only stay awake for a MAXIMUM of like, 15 hours. It wouldn't be such a big problem if we weren't long distance, but that's not the case. Does anybody have any idea what could be causing this? Anyone here experienced this before? Please, we need help with this, because this totally killing me...
TL;DR: GF falls asleep instantly and without warning in the middle of our texting at night. She says she doesn't feel sleepy at all, but she just blinks and she's gone. What could be the cause of this and how do we fix it??
submitted by TurboMeowFire to LDR [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 09:02 Few_Two_1731 Regarding the theory that Marco and Toffee are connected

Do you remember the theory that Marco and Toffee are connected? It is a theory with a lot of negative opinions, but I tried my best to think about it.
Marco and Toffee have a planned and meticulous personality. I think... their gestures are sometimes similar. https://www.tumblr.com/frmacnac/723950017044512769/marco-and-toffee-are-like-mirrors-each-other-or
Marco with purple items is something ominous. The monster arm emits purple liquid, and when Marco is involved in magic, he often wears purple things. The skin color of Marco's corpse in the Blood Moon nightmare is purple, The purple cloth he wears at before beach day has nothing to do with magic but look at the shape.
Besides, The following are the ones that appear in Toffee's first appearance episode.
Star's penstand with holes. This is similar to the symptoms of victims of Solaria's magic. Dead End signs, Star and monsters. A fortune cookie message that Toffee sent to Star says "Love is always the answer". Toffee say that "You're not the only one who is the victim of magic".
What if these are things that imply something? Toffee said he knows the future. What if Star, her friends, and monsters are killed by Solaria's magic? What if Toffee is related to Marco's monster arm? So, Marco may have been shapeshifted to Septarian by dark magic of unicorn and time-traveled to the ancient Mewni. (It might sound stupid) Glossaryck may be involved in it, He may have created a weird time loop. Toffee may be Adult Marco who comes from such a bad future timeline.
Toffee knew that he would be killed as Star's first enemy, so he probably decided to give Star the idea of destroy the magic for change bad future, but in the process, probably he entered Realm of Magic and went crazy. And he may died like "Toffee" on his timeline. and, Glossaryck may have seen Marco as Toffee's childhood. When they first met, Glossaryck said he wouldn't let Marco read magic spells book, and Glossaryck disliked Marco until the day Star rode a bicycle.
Toffee may be a character that assumes as Marco in his thirties. Marco at Neverzone is a child with an adult body. too childish. Star and Toffee's mental age is too far apart, for Toffee, Star will be like a sibling? "Surprise" is a word when the Diaz family celebrates Star every day, so it may be a symbol of friendship and family love. Even if Marco was influenced by the monster arm, he is not necessarily evil. In this case, Toffee wouldn't kill Comet, but his subordinates would do it at their discretion.
Toffee has existed since he was a teenager. The reason why he was shocked when Marco said, "You're boring" would because he had too short time to live as his true self, and he forgot what he was like when he was living as himself. On the other hand, he may have despised his past self who had no power or knowledge to protect the important things. Toffee's last words were probably a warning to his past self, and were probably the answer to what he was told to be "boring". He manipulated Ludo, but it made Buff Frog a Star's friend. It triggered that Star wants Mewni to stop the monster abuse. Marco is the type who is into the role he plays, and he is good at hiding his emotions. If he had felt responsible for the death of Star's grandma, he couldn't have been able to tell the truth. He may have been acting like a crazy, cruel man to Star on purpose.
But how can Marco be so dark and conspiratory?
I think Marco knew very little about monster abuse in Mewni. Marco will be angry if he knows that, and Marco will try to protect the monster from Mewman as one of the earthlings because he knows Mewnians were earthlings, and will be thoroughly research magic and Mewni's history. And Marco's charisma will be gather the support of Septarian. In order to protect the existence of Star, he may had to keep Butterfly family alive while dealing with the monster's hatred for Butterfly family, and he would have been afraid of losing the support of the monsters. Marco was once unable to oppose it for fear of losing the support of the princesses in St. Olga. He may have been bound by his past as Septarian and had limited things to do. I think he has reason for hating Glossaryck. Glossaryck made Star's ancestors, the colonists of Earth, into Butterfly family and Mewman.
"The code name is Sailor V", a spinoff of Sailor Moon came to my mind. The villain in this story was just a soldier who wanted to become a knight to get closer to the princess of Venus, Minako's previous life. However, after everyone died in the war and the queen of the moon reborn everyone with magical powers. He was helping Minako's growth as her enemy but he died while doing fortune-telling that Minako was destined to kill the person she loved. Minako will ended up killing her boyfriend who became an enemy. Daron loves Sailor Moon, and Mina's name is taken from Minako, but Minako looks like Star.
Well, Marco is just a boy from the earth, but he tried to become a knight because he wanted to get close to Star, the princess of Mewni. And what if Marco's Blood Moon's nightmare warn his fate that he will be killed by Star when he falls in love with her? Toffee lives in Star's past, and Marco lives in Star's future. Star and Marco, who are tied by the Curse of Blood Moon, will be bound in a weird time loop forever.
I think the Dark magic that Toffee was melting in Realm of Magic will strengthen the desire for revenge. Toffee may have wanted to neutralize MHC and Moon because them empower Mina's rebellion. What if the magic and Star's family destroyed his life? What if magic doesn't exist? What if the colonists from Earth, the ancestors of Star, didn't go to Mewni? What if Star was born as an earthling? What if Marco chose Jackie instead of Star? His purpose in S1 would to protect Star, but his purpose in S2 may have changed to save Marco's life from Star. The reason he was so obsessed with his lost finger was probably because it was the only point of contact between his past self and his present self. The motivation in that case will be self-love. Realm of Magic will not kill Star, but it will make her suffer. He may have locked Star there to teach her his suffering, instead of telling her who he is.
If Marco's fate is related to magic, it would be right for Star to destroy the magic for Marco. Toffee was watching Star's decision to destroy the magic, and he screamed "surprise". The only person who spoke to Star from the tapestries was Toffee. If the bad future changed, if the timelines merged, would be a happy ending. Will Toffee/Marco trace the fate of Heinous/Meteora?
submitted by Few_Two_1731 to u/Few_Two_1731 [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 07:23 Overlord_42 Are COVID-19 studies made bad on purpose or by ignorance?

as an example these 2 studies:
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/36105535/ this shows Mycocarditis from infection is 7 times higher than the vaccine
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/35993236/ risk of myocarditis in younger people is higher from infection than vaccine in the first does, but 2nd dose and booster gives you higher risk of myocarditis than infection.
Conclusion: 1. These big studies dont use the parameters of age and gender. As a young man if you read the first study you would take the jab due to COVID being bad. But after the second study you wouldnt be that confident anymore.
Why are studies not always put in age groups? This is also what I questioned a lot, especially when it came to covid deaths. When 65 plus people have very high mortality, but below 65 its very low, why do studies still act as COVID will kill younger people?
And all data has his limitations due to not all people who got sick also getting tested. Like who got testet positive for COVID? 1. people who were so sick. they had to go the doc or hospital and people who wanted to attend a party, etc. SO how many people whoe were Covid positive but had mild to no symptoms and didnt get tested were not included in the infection group? So the number of myocarditis in the infection group must be lower, but how much? And this affects every study made.
DO the infection numbers represent the absolute infection of the population?
And do the number of Vaxx injuries were systematically reported?
submitted by Overlord_42 to CovidVaccinated [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 06:28 Crumble_Cat Is it weird to not be sad after breakups?

I’ve been in about 5 serious romantic relationships since early high school and I’ve initiated the breakup in all of them. Is it weird to not really feel bad about each one?
The last two really stand out to me. The first one lasted a year, we fell in love and out of nowhere intimacy died 3 months in. I need to feel physical intimacy to really feel loved so after trying for 9 months I dumped him. He was crushed, but i didn’t really cry or feel much regret for the situation. Of course I felt bad for him and wasn’t ruthless or mean when I broke up with him, I just didn’t really feel loved myself and didn’t want to feel like a roommate. I was mostly just relieved I could put mental energy into myself.
2 months ago I met this amazing man. He’s my type, romantic, good career, we can talk about everything and anything, i’ve never been able to talk to someone so genuine in my life. I don’t really believe in soulmates, but he’s pretty close to one. Today he told me he’s not really willing to be long distance, and i broke things off with him because i need to stay and take care of my family. He was destroyed, but I can’t help but feel indifference towards the whole situation. My friends told me this is sorta weird behavior, is this wrong?
I feel bad when I hurt people, but I don’t feel hurt myself when this happens. I’m not depressed, I don’t have this indifference towards anything else really, only when we break up. I just think there’s plenty of fish in the sea and if this one didn’t work out, it is what it is. I have a very active life, good job, and hobbies I pursue every day, but i’m not too busy so they get in the way of relationships. i have a lot of free time. Is this a symptom of something? should i stop this? i dont really know how
submitted by Crumble_Cat to BreakUps [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 06:26 Crumble_Cat Is it normal to not be sad during breakups?

I’ve (24F) been in about 5 serious romantic relationships since early high school and I’ve initiated the breakup in all of them. Is it weird to not really feel bad about each one?
The last two really stand out to me. The first one lasted a year, we fell in love and out of nowhere intimacy died 3 months in. I need to feel physical intimacy to really feel loved so after trying for 9 months I dumped him. He was crushed, but i didn’t really cry or feel much regret for the situation. Of course I felt bad for him and wasn’t ruthless or mean when I broke up with him, I just didn’t really feel loved myself and didn’t want to feel like a roommate. I was mostly just relieved I could put mental energy into myself.
2 months ago I met this amazing man. He’s my type, romantic, good career, we can talk about everything and anything, i’ve never been able to talk to someone so genuine in my life. I don’t really believe in soulmates, but he’s pretty close to one. Today he told me he’s not really willing to be long distance, and i broke things off with him because i need to stay and take care of my family. He was destroyed, but I can’t help but feel indifference towards the whole situation. My friends told me this is sorta weird behavior, is this wrong?
I feel bad when I hurt people, but I don’t feel hurt myself when this happens. I’m not depressed, I don’t have this indifference towards anything else really, only when we break up. I just think there’s plenty of fish in the sea and if this one didn’t work out, it is what it is. I have a very active life, good job, and hobbies I pursue every day, but i’m not too busy so they get in the way of relationships. i have a lot of free time. Is this a symptom of something? should i stop this? i dont really know how
submitted by Crumble_Cat to SeriousConversation [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 05:47 Greedy-Big-2046 I don’t believe I’ve ever been lower in my life and I don’t know what to do.

I have been struggling as my posts show with some serious health anxiety over the last 6-8 weeks. Since about the beginning of March. I think I may have run out of hope that this is simply anxiety and not something more serious.
I recently went to a rheumatologist to discuss my high ANA panel and she scheduled a bunch of tests. Telling me that lupus could be causing these symptoms I’ve been complaining of, but also that 50-60% of ANA panels that come back positive are often nothing.
For context Im a 27 yo male who had a bout that was virtually identical to this three years ago, and these unbearable symptoms consist of
and all of this fires up at random with no warning. my psychiatrist says it could be due to the fact that my anxiety is virtually all somatic, like i dont feel mentally anxious but my body does.
Ive been through the wringer with this, im terrified its ms or lupus or something like a brain tumor. What dignity is there in life if i have to pee in a diaper, or cant exercise because i cant move or because i have to be carful not to aggravate my condition. who could love a man who was basically helpless, wreaking of urine with sexual deficiencies.
I’m supposed to be building a life I put myself through college after I dropped out of high school, I dealt with drug addiction and family trauma, the loss of a sibling, being abandoned by my father, and then I dealt with this whole event once with the sole solace that no matter what my partner would love me. Last year she left me. Now I am alone trying to piece together what is happening to me. I’ve gone up on my dose of lexapro, I’ve spoken with my pcp and got referral to a neurologist who ordered more test but the process is so slow.
I am in limbo and what if the news I get is the news I expect, why should I continue to live I’d simply be taking up space.
submitted by Greedy-Big-2046 to Anxiety [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 05:13 The_DJ_zak Multiple internal monologues and my own personalised radio.

I don't know if I have schizophrenia, I show symptoms but I'm too afraid to get diagnosed but I'll outline some of what I presume are symptoms and maybe some of you guys could help me decide if I should seek help.
In no way am I asking for a diagnosis from the internet aha.
So sometimes I have multiple internal monologues that are me I do control them but they sometimes split off from one another. For example I'll say a sentence to myself in my head then it will split off into two voices one that repeats the last word said and the other that continues the sentence. If that makes sense. Kinda like "Oh I should really, really really really....." Go get something to eat" Something along those lines if that makes sense. I always also have a radio playing in my head separate to my own internal voice that sings songs and stuff and my only way to change the song is to shout at it alot.
Alongside the voices that sound like my own I also sometimes hear voices from outside my head like from walls or ceilings. They're not mean they're just random. Like I had an old man shout "I want matching pajamas". I didn't really think anything of it as it only really happens when I'm alone in silence.
Alongside these "auditory hallucinations" if you want to call them that, I see faces when I close my eyes very occasionally not usually pleasant ones and I'll see figures that aren't there but one I look directly at them they disappear.
I have also recently developed troubled sleeping. For example tonight, I'm extremely tired it's 4:12 in the morning and I've been up since 8am I have work in 4 hours but I can't sleep my mind is constantly racing and constantly thinking of things or talking to itself.
EDIT: To add, I have previously taken acid multiple times which didn't have any negative effects on me mentally as far as I can tell. I do enjoy it and would like to do it more but if there is a decent chance I could have schizophrenia even acute I would like to potentially get an idea before I take any more as it could absolutely ruin me ahaha.
Anyways to reiterate I'm not asking for a diagnosis just wondering if it would be worth seeking help.
Also sorry if this makes no sense I'm absolutely shattered ahah
submitted by The_DJ_zak to schizophrenia [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 03:48 slayablegenz I (25F) met him (27M) in yellow dating app and I'm just bothered to our current setup as bff premium and having mix thoughts about us.

This is a long post please bear with me and disclaimer this was just based from my own experience that I felt like I needed to share but I don't have the guts to share to anyone, so I disguised instead.
So eto na nga, I met this guy earlier this year from the yellow dating app. It's been like 2 months to be exact since we've known each other. So a little background, I'm currently single and installed bb for fun. I superswiped him and made a first move since he was my type. So hiningi niya socials ko I gave him my facebook and we chatted there since then. A little chitchats and vc here and there.
For context, he was 2 years older than me and also single. He was a family oriented guy, very sweet and caring, gamer, gising sa gabi tulog sa umaga typa guy, may car, but currently unemployed since he's not used to corporate work daw.
Fastforward, there comes the day of our 1st meet. Mga 20 days kami naguusap neto bago nag meet. I went to his house since he was alone and sinundo niya nalang ako malapit sa kanila. Tbh, he was my 1st. I honestly don't know why I easily gave him that despite having 2 exes and I never gave them except him. Kahit na 1st time ko pa lang nakita, yes pogi siya type ko siya pero di na ako nagdalawang isip if siya man yung makauna saken.
Tbh, I don't know what are labels are, syempre ayoko tanungin 2 months palang naman. As per him, we are bff premium daw. And nung sa second meet, we also did that which was recently lang din. He fully opened his life to me from the days we were talking like his exes, their current state of living up to his family.
So yun na nga, after days of our 2nd meet, I noticed something was off from my body. I know cuz I can feel it. I feel like my stomach is bloated which is not normal for me. Overthink malala talaga. I'm thinking of buying PT sa mercury para makasure. Inask ko siya after namin ginawa if san niya inilabas sabe niya sa loob pero nakasuot siya condom nun tas pinakita niya na walang butas. Weird lang kasi bakit ganto naffeel ng katawan ko. Napapa search tuloy ako ng mga signs and symptoms online because of it.
I'm still torn if I will still continue to entertain him after our 2nd meet since I felt like I was just his past time. And it felt off since I noticed him being distant and cold lately but still got replies updating me of whatever his whereabouts. Ofc, I don't want him to tell that. Medyo bothered lang ako na if itutuloy ko pa bang makipag usap sa kanya or ako nalang ang lalayo at kakalimutan ang lahat habang di pa gano kalalim for my peace of mind. Kasi ako yung nahuhulog ng sobra feeling ko ako yung talo kung di niya man ako ipursue.
I know na very old skool yung belief ko na if who's your first, will also be your partner in due time. But in my case, I can't feel it from him or nagooverthink lang ako. But yeah, planning to tell him this though once ready na ako and if there's no improvement ako na lang ang lalayo habang maaga pa.
Appreciate your constructive advice if I will still continue to entertain him after this or should I wait a little longer. Thanks!
submitted by slayablegenz to relationship_advicePH [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 00:59 GoAheadMMDay UPDATE 3: Torment Techniques Used by Canadian and US Militaries

UPDATE 3: Torment Techniques Used by Canadian and US Militaries
Update #3 appears at the bottom.
Due to numerous disparaging comments by multiple individuals, I have reposted my article.
Heckling does not change what occurred. People need to know these truths, especially those who have experienced the same. They need to know they are sane, that such things are indeed being perpetrated, and the perpetrators use shame to silence them and protect their activities.
I write to encourage them not to listen to disparaging people who speak without knowledge.
February 10, 2024
I am Joseph Cafariello, a Canadian citizen and ex-member of the Canadian military. Of sound mind, not on medication, not a drug user, not a marijuana smoker, not an alcohol drinker, with no mental disorders.
I recently posted to this Liberty subreddit experiences of harassment by Vancouver's police and fire departments (Vancouver, BC, Canada). I’m the fellow who was repeatedly ordered by police to stay out of Vancouver’s Stanley Park, and was continually harassed whenever I visited the park (which I do every second day on my early morning walks).
Immediately following that post, they changed some of the techniques they use in my case. They were either informed of my post or found it themselves, seeing as my internet activity, and phone activity for that matter, are under continuous surveillance (plenty of proof which I will not include here to avoid running off-topic).
In this post, I would like to shed some light on other harassment which is still ongoing, since it occurs in private, away from potential observers. It involves the Canadian and US militaries.
Havana Syndrome
In 2016, numerous employees of the Canadian and US embassies in Havana, Cuba, started experiencing head injuries ranging from mild headaches to concussions. It happened in their sleep, and came to be called Havana Syndrome.
Wikipedia explains (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Havana\_syndrome):
“Havana syndrome is a cluster of idiopathic symptoms experienced mostly abroad by U.S. government officials and military personnel. The symptoms range in severity from pain and ringing in the ears to cognitive dysfunction and were first reported in 2016 by U.S. and Canadian embassy staff in Havana, Cuba. Beginning in 2017, more people, including U.S. intelligence and military personnel and their families, reported having these symptoms in other places, such as China, India, Europe, and Washington, D.C. The U.S. Department of State, Department of Defense, and other federal entities have called the events "Anomalous Health Incidents" (AHI). Of over a thousand purported cases, the majority of US investigative bodies found only a few dozen cases to be suspicious.”
Ladies and gentlemen, I can tell you exactly what happens, because I have been experiencing this since I first joined the Canadian military back in 2002, and am still experiencing these “torments” (as I call them) to this day, already 3 years after leaving the military.
I go to bed. In about 15 minutes, just as I am on the cusp of falling asleep, a hear and feel a heavy thud reverberate and ultimately strike my skull. My body releases a sharp burst of adrenalin, my heart starts racing, and my blood’s circulation speeds up significantly. Depending on the severity of the blow, it can take me anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour to fall asleep again. Though there have been times I could not return to sleep for more than 2 hours.
A strong headache is felt immediately, and lasts for hours. There have been times when my heart felt like it was going to burst, having been startled as such.
The pulse to the head sometimes reverberates through the wall and my bed’s headboard. I distinctly feel as though I have been hit on the top of my skull. At other times, it feels as though the pulse has come through the air, striking the side of my skull.
This is not a sleep disorder, for it does not occur regularly. At times, my sleep is disturbed in this manner 3 or 4 days in a row. At other times, there is no disturbance for up to a week. But they never let me go more than a week without such interruptions to my sleep.
Neither is it sleep apnea, as I do not awaken gasping for breath. The pounding headaches, sudden release of adrenaline, and heart palpitations I experience are caused by external impacts of sound waves or air bursts.
Sonic Weapons
How these pulses are produced is not easy to identify. As Wikipedia explains:
“Once the story became public, various U.S. government representatives attributed the incidents to attacks by unidentified foreign actors, and various U.S. officials blamed the reported symptoms on a variety of unidentified and unknown technologies, including ultrasound and microwave weapons.”
Sonic weapons have been in use for many years by militaries, and by police in crowd control. As Wikipedia explains (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sonic\_weapon):
“Some sonic weapons make a focused beam of sound or of ultrasound; others produce an area field of sound. As of 2023 military and police forces make some limited use of sonic weapons.”
(Do not believe the 2023 timeline. The Canadian military has been using these weapons since the early 2000’s at the latest.)
Wikipedia continues:
“Extremely high-power sound waves can disrupt or destroy the eardrums of a target and cause severe pain or disorientation. This is usually sufficient to incapacitate a person. Less powerful sound waves can cause humans to experience nausea or discomfort.”
The users of these technologies must also be using thermal detection equipment to monitor the target’s sleep. As I mentioned, I most often feel these blows the moment I am falling asleep. Body temperature drops when we sleep, and brain activity slows. Heat-detection equipment is likely being used to identify the point at which the target is falling asleep.
Why they prefer to strike at the start of someone’s sleep as opposed to the middle of their sleep, I do not know. Perhaps their intent is to deprive the body of early sleep, limiting the amount of deep sleep available to the person before their alarm rings in the morning.
Ordinary Hammers
Not all such “torments” (as I call them) are caused by high-tech equipment. I have heard and felt distinct hammer strikes running along the 2x4 beams inside my walls. These strikes can be a single hard strike, or several strikes in a row. It is definitely caused by a person with a hammer because the intervals between strikes are equidistant in time; that is, the time spacing between strikes is not random and does not change from strike to strike, but is constant between strikes, exactly as when someone is hammering. And no, it is not someone hanging pictures at 1:30 am, multiple times a week, for years.
On one occasion, when I was standing at my kitchen sink, I felt the floor-board directly under my feet pulse so sharply it felt like a brick had struck the soles of my feet. In this case, my military neighbour likely used a hammer to strike the floorboard on his side of the wall. It is the only plausible explanation.
Surveillance
This leads to surveillance of one’s activities at home. I have plenty of proofs of that. They seem insignificant on an individual basis. But when you put them all together, they present a clear picture of home surveillance.
My laptop computer’s lid cracked one night, at the bottom left corner of the screen. The next day at work, I heard my military supervisor relate to another co-worker that the night before, his laptop computer’s lid cracked at the bottom left corner. I swear to the Lord in Heaven, I am being truthful.
I tested my suspicion of being surveilled. At home one night, I blurted out-loud, “VW Passat. What an ugly sounding word, ‘Passat’”, I said. A few days later, my military colleagues at work started playing a card game at lunch, invented by one of them. The name he gave his game was “Passat”, and when he spoke it, he looked at me for a reaction. If you ever contact the Halifax military base, ask for the Claims Department and ask them if they are still playing Passat.
On another occasion, at a time when I frequented the gym every second day for a few years, I suspected my van had been fitted with a listening device. I suspected so because a number of things I had spoken with people about on my phone while in my van (nothing illegal) were repeated by people at the gym in conversations among themselves. Too many times, parts of other people's conversations matched parts of conversations I had had with others while I was in my van.
I already knew my phone was being tapped, but I also suspected my van was bugged. So one evening while driving in my van, I blurted out-loud a number of things I said I hated. "I hate (this or that)"; "I hate it when...". One of them was, "I hate when people chew gum with their mouths open." I then vocalized an exaggerated gnawing sound, "Gnaw. Gnaw. Gnaw."
The very next time I went to the gym, 2 days later, while I was at an exercise, a fellow sat at an exercise directly behind me. And sure enough, he started chewing with his mouth open, vocalizing that gnawing sound, "Gnaw. Gnaw. Gnaw." I didn't look behind at him, because I knew what was going on, and I wanted to avoid playing into his hand. So he repeated himself again and again until I was done and moved to a different station. Now, honestly, who chews gum at the gym? You can't. Or you run the risk of choking for the heavy breathing, not to mention when laying down on benches. And with precisely the same exaggerated vocalized gnawing sound I had made in my van just 2 days prior.
Their whole intent is to let you know you are being surveilled. They want you to know, as both a warning and a provocation. They want you to say something, to launch accusations, which they would readily deny, making you look paranoid. If you react too strongly, they could even have you diagnosed with some kind of disorder, and put you on medication, which further plays into their hand. (More regarding medications in the last section of this post.)
This is why, as I mentioned in my previous post, they would park their cars shining their high beams on me as I walked past them during my morning walk. And why on some occasions, a group of 3 or 4 would exit their cars and stand on my path just as I approached, forcing me to go around them. They would then remain standing on the path until my return trip through, and after I had passed by the second time, then would then return to their cars - making it absolutely clear I was their interest.
Their intent is not only to make me aware, but also to present themselves in close proximity to me, within easy reach, in the hope I would confront them, resulting in an altercation that could land me in a lot of hot water - 4 witnesses against me, all pleading innocence.
Again, it is all designed to make you look bad, and to warrant some kind of legal measure against you - preferably a medical diagnosis, discrediting you in everything you say about them. If they can't refute your claims, their only remaining option is to discredit you. That's what all of these tricks are designed to accomplish. Who would believe anything you say, once you have been diagnosed with a disorder?
There are plenty more examples. But who would really believe them? I’ll save them for the future.
Home Invasion
Both during and after my military service, I have had my apartments entered without any signs of break-ins. How? Lock-picking and duplicate keys. Indications? Missing objects; ie: money, phone adaptor, etc. Nothing major. Just something to make us understand we are being watched, and to make us understand what they can do.
But it is always something small, something for which you would be ridiculed for divulging.
Two more examples: I found my razor, which I always lay-down razor-end to the wall, turned around, razor-end toward me. Also, in one of my house slippers I found a small shoe sticker on the up-side of the heel. I had those slipper for years, and never had any shoe stickers on them. Yet there it was, clearly visible on the top surface of my slipper, not the bottom. Could I have stepped on a shoe sticker when barefoot in my apartment, only to have the sticker transfer itself to my slipper when I wore it? How many shoe stickers do you have laying around your apartment that you can accidentally step onto?
If I had stepped onto a sticker in my apartment and had it stick to my heel, that means the sticky side was up against my skin. This means the sticker would have had to flip upside down such that the sticky side would then be down, allowing the sticker to stick to the slipper. Do you really think that happened? That sticker was not there when I left my apartment, but it was there when I returned. And it was the wrong sticker, wrong brand, wrong size.
Again, what is their intent? To make someone look ridiculous so no one will believe them should they speak of other more sensitive things.
Staged Incidents
The above incidents clearly point to coordinated and staged events (at my work, my home, on my walks, etc). This is so frequently met with incredulity. "But that would require coordination on the part of so many people," the public dismisses. "They wouldn't do that."
Oh yes they would, and they have, as explained in https://fightgangstalking.com/. Note the documented cases involving the Canadian Security Intelligence Service (CSIS, Canada's equivalent to the US' CIA) and the Royal Canadian Mounted Police (RCMP, Canada's national police force), which were reported in national newspapers.
From https://fightgangstalking.com/ :
“Disruption operations often involve tactics which are illegal, but difficult to prove. These tactics include – but are not limited to – overt surveillance (stalking), slander, blacklisting, “mobbing” (intense, organized harassment in the workplace), “black bag jobs” [home invasions], abusive phone calls, computer hacking, framing, threats, blackmail, vandalism, “street theater” (staged physical and verbal interactions with minions of the people who orchestrate the stalking), harassment by noises, and other forms of bullying. Many of these tactics were used by the FBI during its illegal COINTELPRO operations, as documented by stolen official documents and subsequent Congressional investigations.
"Although the general public is mostly unfamiliar with the practice, references to “disruption” operations – described as such – do occasionally appear in the news media, even though that fact would apparently be news to the editors of The New York Times. In May 2006, for example, an article in The Globe and Mail, a Canadian national newspaper, reported that the Canadian Security Intelligence Service (CSIS) and the Royal Canadian Mounted Police (RCMP) used “Diffuse and Disrupt” tactics against suspects for whom they lacked sufficient evidence to prosecute. A criminal defense attorney stated that many of her clients complained of harassment by authorities, although they were never arrested."
She can add me to that list too.
For the Benefit of Others
The experiences I have recounted here seem so trivial, so insignificant, they make you look ridiculous if you talk about them. But if we don’t talk about such things, no one will ever know about them. Other people have experienced the same, and are forced to endure such torments in silence. They need encouragement to talk about their own experiences, and so I write about mine in the hope they will talk about theirs, even if I do look ridiculous. The perpetrators are more ridiculous for doing them.
I remember a military colleague being hauled away by military police one morning, as she was struggling and having a violent fit. A fellow on her floor told me she was throwing chairs at her walls screaming, “Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!”. When he mentioned that, I knew exactly what they had done to her. She was considered unruly, and was being watched intently. They wanted her out, and that is how they accomplished it. Through wall tapping and sleep deprivation, they push you to the breaking point. And when you finally lose control and do something rash, they pounce on you, and you’re out. Now she has a criminal record, considered a criminal when in reality she was a victim. Welcome to the Canadian military, and other militaries besides, I am sure.
There are dozens upon dozens of experiences I could present. But who will really read them? Worse still, who will really believe them? I overheard my military supervisor in Halifax whisper to another, “Do you think he knows?”, after I had mentioned one of the many “coincidences” I experienced, but with a tone of my being aware it was not a mere coincidence. As I turned my face to my computer screen, I whispered under my breath, but still loud enough for him to hear, “Yes, (rank) (name), I know.” A few minutes later, as he walked past my desk, he leaned in by my ear and whispered, “We’re trying to help you.” I should have pressed him for answers right then and there, but you just don’t know how much trouble you can get into when making such accusations in the military. So I let it go. But I will never forget.
Should anyone reading this ever decide to launch some kind of inquiry, I can mention names of over 100 people to contact, including military personnel, family members, neighbours, building managers, and others who have been contacted by military personnel with false narratives about me. They flash their ID’s and other credentials, and people believe anything they say. They turn family, friends, co-workers and neighbours against you, even recruiting their participation. Your acquaintances not only participate, but actually feel justified and emboldened playing tricks on you. It isn't their fault, though; they have been misled. I would reference them solely for corroboration.
As a final thought, here are explanations of two military programs in which certain persons (sometimes military, sometimes civilian) are kept under constant surveillance, and are in some cases subjected to conditioning in an attempt to turn them into what is called a “sleeper agent”. Almost all of the tactics presented below have been experience by me, including constant surveillance (ie: my previous post here regarding being harassed on my morning walks) and sleep deprivation (as per the top portion of this post, which other military members in Cuba and elsewhere around the world have also experienced).
Pentagon’s Signature Reduction Program
See Newsweek’s article: https://www.newsweek.com/exclusive-inside-militarys-secret-undercover-army-1591881
Some excerpts from that Newsweek article, plus more background information on the Pentagon’s Signature Reduction Program, can be found here: https://fightgangstalking.com/
“The largest undercover force the world has ever known is the one created by the Pentagon over the past decade. Some 60,000 people now belong to this secret army, many working under masked identities and in low profile, all part of a broad program called “signature reduction.” The force, more than ten times the size of the clandestine elements of the CIA, carries out domestic and foreign assignments, both in military uniforms and under civilian cover, in real life and online, sometimes hiding in private businesses and consultancies, some of them household name companies.
“…a little-known sector of the American military, but also a completely unregulated practice. No one knows the program’s total size, and the explosion of signature reduction has never been examined for its impact on military policies and culture. Congress has never held a hearing on the subject. And yet the military developing this gigantic clandestine force challenges U.S. laws, the Geneva Conventions, the code of military conduct and basic accountability.
“…The signature reduction effort engages some 130 private companies to administer the new clandestine world. Dozens of little known and secret government organizations support the program, doling out classified contracts and overseeing publicly unacknowledged operations.
"Federal spy agencies are using Americans to spy on their fellow citizens – the same approach to governance famously employed by communist East Germany."
How to Develop a Hypnotic Sleeper Agent
By Dantalion Jones / Masters of Mind Control
The following “was” on the web, but has been removed. Surprise, surprise. But I saved its web files to my computer years ago, knowing that sooner or later it would be removed. I made a jpeg image of the web page as it once appeared, attached here.
Note that I have experienced almost all of the tactics described below, including the stalking I mentioned in my previous post here (regular walks in the park), the sleep deprivation noted at the top of this post, and the surveillance and intrusions described here as well.
Quoting the now-removed webpage: “How to Develop a Hypnotic Sleeper Agent” (from here to end of post):
Amid all the conspiracy theories one of the most feared is that there exist "sleeper agents" in our society who are programmed to come into service when they are triggered by a phone call or key word.
These alleged sleeper agents don't even know they are programmed to become saboteurs, soldiers, suicide bomber, etc because of the thoroughness of their programming. They are the feared "Manchurian Candidate" that the movies portray.
The question is "Are they real?"
If they are true sleeper agents there is no way of telling until they are activated. One can however theorize exactly how they are made.
Indoctrination
Using indoctrination a person can be made to embrace a religious or philosophical belief that would make becoming a sleeper agent possible.
This would be a person so committed to an ideal they would be willing to wait patiently as a member of society until they are called into action. These people would know their mission and consciously hold it secret while interacting with the rest of society.
Conditioning
Conditioning is a repetitive process where the desired responses are enforced and rewarded and unwanted responses are punished. This can be done consciously as part of training drill and it can be done subconsciously using hypnosis or drugs to create amnesia.
Hypnosis
It has been demonstrated that hypnosis can create "amnesia walls" in which the subject has no conscious memory of what happened in the hypnosis session. It has further been demonstrated that hypnosis can give post hypnotic instruction to be carried out automatically in the waking state without the subject knowing it or questioning the behavior.
What follows is conjecture and theory based on testimonials of people who were alleged to be sleeper agents and soldiers.
Continuous Supervisions
Continuous supervision doesn't mean that the subject is cut off completely from society. It means that they are constantly overseen and every aspect of their lives are managed (without their knowledge or consent) to support their hypnotic programming.
This would include:
• Repeated reinforcement of all hypnotic conditioning.
• Handlers. Handlers are people who help maintain the subjects environment to maintain all the programming. They can play the role of family, friends, lovers, psychologists, coaches or any roll the subject perceives as supportive. The truth is the handlers are their to support the successful fulfillment of the programming and not the subject as a person.
• Minimal sleep so that the mind/brain does not process all the sleeper conditioning during sleep.
• Creating constant environmental challenges like unemployment or poverty. This gives the subject something other than their programming to focus on.
• Frequent hospitalization. This gives overt opportunity to sedate the subject for conditioning. If the subject has a history of hospitalizations for mental disturbances all the better. No one will take them seriously.
Joseph Cafariello
PS... Today is the second day after this post (February 12, 2024). A garbage truck just slammed into my parked car.
PPS... I finish writing this post because I am satisfied with its shape and content; not because of what happened to my car.
It is similar to when you are reaching for your coat, and someone tells you, "Take your coat." Since you have to take your coat, your brain tells you it's ok to obey them, and you comply. They just created an instance where they led you, and you followed them. And your brain accepted it.
It's a technique the military uses all the time. It trains you to accept instructions from that person or group. Done enough times, you become comfortable obeying them.
I just say, "I take my coat because I choose to, not because you tell me to." It's important to make that clear, to block the conditioning and affirm our self-governance; not just to them, but to ourselves as well. Now our brain realizes we took our coat by our own choice; we are still in command.
So too, I say regarding today's event. "Thanks for the warning, but I had already finished writing my post. I finished by my own choosing."
UPDATES 1 & 2: February 26 & March 07, 2024:
My apartment was once again entered while I was out. Either a key was used or the lock was picked. This may or may not have included assistance from building staff. Home invasions are included in the list of their techniques noted above, referred to as "black bag jobs".
All tenants on my floor received new fridges a couple of weeks ago. I removed the tape securing the bins inside my new fridge, and also removed all styrofoam pads from the corners of the glass shelves when I repositioned them.
The person(s) who have been invading my living space on a regular basis have struck again. As you can see in the photo below, the styrofoam pads on the corners of my fridge's shelves were restored when I was out of my apartment. I had removed all pads when I repositioned the shelves. Yet now they are back.
It is a tactic used to undermine our observational awareness in an attempt to make us second-guess and doubt ourselves. The aim is to cause people to feel less sure not only of the things we have done, but also feel less sure of the things others have done. They want us to question the accuracy of our observations and memory.
The idea is to train you to dismiss any anomalies you may observe as being your own misperception of things. Once they convince you not to trust your own judgement, they are free to do whatever they want to you, and you will simply accept it without questioning.
UPDATE 3: May 18, 2024:
Confrontations with individuals keep occurring, at times potentially violent. Following are just 3 such encounters as of late.
1 - Kick-boxer in the park:
As I parked my car in one of the parking lots in Vancouver's Stanley Park one night, another vehicle drove up behind me and parked several spots away. A tall man exited that vehicle, and walked hastily along the path I always walk, down some steps to the water's sea wall path. I took my time and followed my usual walk, also down the steps down to the sea wall. The man knew my routine, and was in a hurry to get ahead of me.
As I walked along the sea wall, I saw the same man sitting on a bench, playing a loud religious sermon in a foreign language on a device I did not clearly see. As I walked past him, he called out to me to stop and chat. I ignored him and continued walking past. He rose and started walking behind me.
I opened my umbrella, turned, and walked past him the other way, returning to the stairs back to the parking lot. He also turned and continued following me. I started running. He also started running. I ran up the steps, as did he.
Being taller than I am, his legs are longer than mine, and he quickly caught up to me on a grassy patch at the top of the steps. I turned to him and asked, "Why are you following me?" He did not reply, but stood profile to me, the same stance a kick-boxer uses when ready to kick someone. He was tall, thin, and in excellent physical shape as you would see in a kick-boxer.
He did not speak at all, but was just waiting for me to make a move. I turned, entered my vehicle and left. The encounter continued with a chase through the park in our cars. Yes, that is correct. He chased me out of the park in his car.
2 - Told to keep quiet:
The perpetrators need to operate with as little detection as possible, and they repeatedly warn their subjects to keep their mouths shut about their experiences.
On another of my recent nightly walks, a man stood on the sidewalk ahead of me about half a block away, looked at me, and shouted into the sky at nobody, giving the appearance of being a homeless person shouting for no reason. He then started walking in my direction. I continued walking straight. As he passed me, he leaned into my face and shouted into my ear, "Shut the f_ck up!" I continued walking in my direction, and he resumed walking in his.
The idea is to make it seem as though he is just a deranged man wandering the streets at night, shouting at nothing, so that when he shouts at me, any observer would simply dismiss his actions. But in reality, he was sent to send me a message to stop publishing posts like this, which I had done many times on many sites, and continue to. They don't like it when we reveal their methods. But the truth must be known.
3 - You'll be sorry:
On another occasion, while returning from grocery shopping one afternoon, I walked past a man sitting by a storefront. He was clean-cut, wearing clean clothes, without any carts or wagons or any belongings of any kind. As I passed him, he asked me for some spare change. I replied, "I'm sorry," and continued walking past. He replied, "You will be."
There are numerous other experiences, like two seemingly unassociated men standing on the sea wall about 100 meters away from each other, each of them spitting just as I walked past each one.
There are too many experiences to mention. Looking at each experience individually, one would easily dismiss them as being unrelated and simply coincidental. But put them all together and a picture starts to form, like putting together the pieces of a puzzle.
As I hand you each piece of the puzzle one by one, you dismiss each piece, saying, "This could be anything." And you discard it. You keep discarding each piece as I hand it to you. By the end of it, you look down at the table and say, "You have nothing." That's because you looked at each piece as a separate item and threw it away. But if you leave the pieces on the table as I hand them to you and do not hastily discard them, you will see they form a clear picture when put all together.
We must look at all these events as a whole. Individually, each one could be anything. But when all of these experiences are put together and considered as a whole, they form an undeniable picture. Do not be quick to dismiss each piece. Leave the pieces on the table and look at the whole. The picture I present is sound. Remember, I have all the pieces; you do not. I see the picture more clearly than you do.
https://preview.redd.it/we31ymcsm91d1.jpg?width=966&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3d56ac3dd3558a60d477ba9315104d1b66b139f8
submitted by GoAheadMMDay to Liberty [link] [comments]


2024.05.18 22:28 Substantial_Bus4022 CMV: The reasoning behind the current state of the disparity between men and women in dating is mostly explained by superficial means and the core problems are not discussed frequently enough.

We know how the dating world has been as polarized as ever between men and women. But rather looking at the core factors most discussions are about the superficial symptoms or best case the contributors. In my opinion, the (non-exhaustive) root causes which are underrepresented in the day-to-day discussion are the following:
(1) Women are protected from outside world by their parents even after they passed 18, so it creates a shell and within that shell are mostly friends and family only. Their emotional reactions are always met with empathy and hence they socialise in a bonding and supporting environment. Thats why they have a larger spectrum of emotions to convey at hand (which is socially accepted). Men on the other hand are not protected. Parents stop parenting after 12-13 and the only guidance they get is to be a man. No social bonding since independence is a virtue, no protection or empathy since you are now a man, and no guidance.
(2) Men dont socialize to bond but to fill the gap until they find someone and grow up. Just like watching sport, going to a car race, its to spend time. Women socialize for emotional connection and understanding.
(3) In dating women have a better sense of whats cringe / creepy / desperate because they are on the receiving end. Since men are not approached they cant differentiate whats well-received or poorly because in their head the intention is louder. Just like sometimes people say something and then later realize how cringe they behaved, men have to go through this by trial and error. Since women listen its easier for them to learn behavior which suits their self-image.
(4) Women are more emotionally ready for a relationship. They jump straight about thinking with whom and how they should form a relationship. In a sense they can skip the courting part, since the expectations and decisions are mostly made by them.
They dont have to sink down to the level of approaching someone and figuring out what he likes, worry about being funny, charming, organize the date, be rejected because there are other girls trying. If there is no other girl in the picture then it was only up to the guy to be one or not, but they dont have to be affraid someone else will approach him.
Since they can and are already thinking about who would be a good fit for them and have the opportunity to explore and test it from the constant courters, obviously they will be more knowledgeable of what they need and what dynamic works with them.
(5) Men cannot even comprehend mostly what it means to be emotionally involved with someone in their early ages, thats why they go after the only "connection" they know which is sex. Cheap shots, horny messages, I dont have to explain it, which makes them slightly connected to someone, even if it doesnt last long. Yes most men are that desperate.
Sometimes they have a value system they rely on, but when you need to move mountains to find someone that value system often ends up in shambles. "But there isn't nothin' like the sight of an amputated spirit; there is no prosthetic for that." Which leads to the misguided young men who start following toxic ideas.
(6) Men have a tendency for aggression and distancing themselves from the world because thats what is accepted from them. The only negative emotion and response which is okay for a man to convey is to be aggressive and isolation to figure out how to go on.
So I am wondering if I am the only one who sees that the real sources of the this difference are constantly misnamed.
submitted by Substantial_Bus4022 to changemyview [link] [comments]


2024.05.18 21:28 DMMeYourTiddiesPls I don't lose weight(paraplegic)

Age: 25
Sex: Male
Height: 175cm
Weight: 117kg
Race: Caucasian
Duration of complaint: 10+ years
Location: Sweden
Any existing relevant medical issues: Paraplegia, low testosterone
Current medications: Elvanse
Include a photo if relevant: https://imgur.com/a/rlsJbha
Why am I not losing weight? I'm a 25 year old paraplegic(wheelchair bound) guy with full upper body strength who has been fat my whole life, these last few years i've tried on/off to lose weight and yet, I never lose weight. Each and every time I start up again, I stop eating junk food(I usually ate junk food 2-4 times per week + dinner, and maybe some snacks), I start going out for "walks"(usually around 5-10km each time and multiple times per week), I only drink water and zero kcal soda, I barely eat any snacks but when I do, I eat maybe 20-30grams of chip and a dip, nothing else.
This last "phase" has lasted close to two months, and I have literally NOTHING to show for it. I am taking ADHD medication everyday which is an amphetamine(elvanse), so my hunger is very supressed, I eat once/twice(sometimes) per day and about 1/3-1/2 of my "old" portions, definitely not an excessive amount, my family keeps pointing out when I visit and they have made food that "are you actually full after just eating that?"
I always weigh around 114-117kg, even when I don't give a shit about my weight and eat junk food and barely move around. After f**king close to two months of 5-10km "walks" multiple days a week, no junk food, barely any snacks, no breakfast, 1 meal per day, I STILL don't lose weight? I'm losing my god damn mind, surely it's not supposed to be this impossible?
Also, it's not a "walk" in the sense that I don't exert myself, I basically roll as fast as I can for as long as I can, I can do 10kms in about 1h15-1h30m on a forest path and quicker on asphalt. When others come with me, I have to make an effort to not go so fast as to not leave them behind me, if they pace with me they'd be jogging/running. I am absolutely exhausted after those long walks and my arms are weak and hurting, so I definitely exert myself a lot, the latest 10km walk I did, I was going 8 km/h in a forest terrain.
There is absolutely no chance in heaven or hell that I consume even nearly as many calories as I do when I've given up on losing weight, so why do I still weigh f**king 117kg?
I do drink alcohol(rum and coke zero only), usually once every 2 weeks if that, and I don't down a whole bottle by myself.
I have tested my testosterone and such and it always comes back as low for a man my age, but still within the reference interval so the doctors says it's fine, i'm just imagining the symptoms I have and I "just need to lose weight", which is an impossibility as it seems. I even legitimately starved myself for 6 days(water fast) a few years back as an experiment, I lost 3kg, most, if not all of it was water weight.
I also did a health checkup 2 years back and I linked to that album here, as you can see my testosterone is at 12 nmol/L as a 25 year old male when the reference interval is based on males from ages 18-70 or some shit that the doctor told me a few years back, so basically as I understand it, I have the testosterone levels of a 60 year old man ish?...
What the hell can I do? There is literally no point in making any effort, because I don't lose any weight at all. At this point, i'm honestly considering to buy testosterone from the street/internet and start self medicating(i literally do not care about the risks anymore, I'm so f**king tired of being fat) to find out if it's the testosterone or if it's something else, i'm so tired of this shit, I feel so god damn hopeless.
Everyone says "it's simple bro, calories in, calories out", clearly f**king not in my case.
I apologize for the frustration in my post.
submitted by DMMeYourTiddiesPls to AskDocs [link] [comments]


2024.05.18 21:25 AugustPierrot Symptoms?

My new doctor referred me to a specialist for my menstrual pain. She’s been suggesting I might have Endo for a hot second, and finally pointed me in the direction of a specialist because my last period, “made me really worried this could be more”. I haven’t seen a gyno in years because my last one was AWFUL. I’m honestly concerned my pain, even for endometriosis, is abnormal, or if there’s something else that’s happening.
Here’s what she said concerned her:
•I’ve been cramping permanently since I was 9 and got my first period. Like… PERMANENTLY. Some days it’s worse than others and it’s been progressively getting worse. Even when I’m not bleeding, I basically cramp all month, every month, every year. I’m turning 22.
•Tugging on my right side. Sometimes when I walk, if my right foot is back, it feels like something in the front of my pelvis is being yanked or pulled hard enough that I see stars. My first thought was it’s my ovary but I don’t think that makes sense. It doesn’t feel muscular, it feels like it’s where my uterus is.
•Total right leg numbness when I’m actively on my period. I can’t drive during the first like five or six days of my period because I can’t feel my leg at ALL. I can’t even stand because it’s like my leg isn’t there. Sometimes I can, most of the time I’m screwed.
•full contractions. When I’m on my period I feel like I can FEEL my whole uterus contracting in set intervals, set times apart. It’s bad enough it makes me heave. I’ve heaved so hard I’ve given myself bloody noses because of the pain.
•I thought double kidney stones and a ruptured ovarian cyst was just period pain. They’re on the same level of pain.
•Birth control makes it worse. My old gyno put me on Hailey FE and I was only on it for ONE MONTH. In that month I dropped to 90lbs, bled so heavy I was soaking through an overnight pad and a tampon within two hours for 46 days straight, and I puked up everything including water. As soon as I stopped taking it I was back to my baseline. She then, after yelling at me, put me on LoLo for a WEEK and I was already puking again, and that one week of birth control made me bleed for 35 days.
•Fasting makes it less painful. I know I really shouldn’t be fasting, but if I KNOW my period is coming within a day or so, I stop eating. I can’t keep food down the first three or so days of my period to begin with. This absolutely doesn’t help me trying to gain weight- I’m 10-15lbs under. For whatever reason if I fast it’s a little more bearable, and I don’t know if it’s just because I’ve exhausted my body so much it can’t cause me that much pain or if it’s something else.
•there are peeling burns on my stomach from how hot I need my heating pad to have any sort of pain relief. It’s kinda gross. I’m not wearing a bikini this summer again.
Does ANYONE else experience ANY of this because of their Endo? My previous gyno said it might be Endo but I’m too young to look, and that it’s not worth looking into because what if I meet a man who wants kids. She told me my symptoms are “too dramatic to matter” and “birth control should fix it,” so I brushed it off for a while, just telling myself I have bad periods. Now I’m not even sure if this IS indicative of Endo or if anyone else experiences these things and I don’t want to waste a specialist’s time if this is indicative of something completely different or if my uterus is just an asshole.
…..and if you are experiencing these things how do you manage? I don’t know how much longer I can manage, I’m a few days out from when my next period is supposed to happen and i’m DREADING it. I can’t live like this forever.
submitted by AugustPierrot to Endo [link] [comments]


2024.05.18 21:18 ApprehensiveCap6525 Earth is a Lost Colony (28)

A/N: yeah I changed up the Alliance admiral's name from Shepard Adama to Sheparda Dama (so creative i know) because the old one was going to fuck me over badly at some point. It would be like trying to make a legitimate, serious fantasy novel with a wizard named Albus Gandalf. I was NOT cooking when I came up with that shit.
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It was said that no plan ever survived contact with the enemy. That, at least in the case of Marcus Wayne’s infiltration of Neldia, was proven entirely true.
His ship, the Peacemaker, had undergone an extensive refit before its jump to Neldia to both modify its sensor signature and repair its failing Aegis barrier. The first objective succeeded. The second did not.
One day later, leaving the derelict Ultimate Vigil behind in deep space, the United Human Alliance courier ship Winged Deliverance logged a real space entry at the edge of the Neldia system. Its crew, having spent their waking hours plagued by hallucinations and enduring horrible nightmares as they slept, found this shift very welcome. The worst, though they could hardly believe it, was still yet to come.
“The Neldian fleet is mustering for war,” rumbled the man who had once held the title and security codes of an Alliance sector admiral. Now, he was a traitor to his homeland. “Security will be high.”
“No need to worry, Admiral,” said Marcus Wayne. “Your code will get us through.” It would not.
It took two hours for the Peacemaker, disguised as the Winged Deliverance, to be challenged by the Neldian Armada. “Transmit clearance code,” said an automated voice. Marcus took out a data disc with the admiral's clearance code on it.
“Hold,” said Terris. She was clad in black, her active camouflage offline to save battery, and she had been sitting at the passive sensor console for the past three hours. “Look at this.” A news broadcast popped up in front of Marcus Wayne and his officers. Sector Admiral Sheparda Dama, or at least he was once a sector admiral, had been tried and convicted of high treason.
“It was a secret trial,” Dama said, still in shock at the revelation. “I had no knowledge of this.”
“Well, that tracks, but what do we do now? What code gets us through?”
“Transmit clearance code,” the voice said again, “or adjust course.”
Dama thought for a moment. “Change course,” he said. “We’re not getting through.”
They did. A great sense of defeat took hold in the hearts of the crew. They would never reach the Neldian hypercom. Sheparda Dama, who would have gladly given his life in defense of humankind, would never get the chance to be the man who broke their chains.
The Peacemaker was halfway out of the Neldia system before Terris spoke again. “Hold it,” she said. “I have an idea.”
That was why she had been placed where she was. Clad in an airtight stealth suit. Inside a hollowed-out asteroid. On a ballistic journey to the heart of Neldian space. It was the most insane idea that Marcus Wayne had ever seen.
But, sometimes, insanity was a symptom of genius.
Terris flew past the Neldian Armada undetected. Many asteroids entered the inner system this way, flung by outer-system prospecting ships to the foundries and shipyards in Neldian orbit, and they were thrown and caught so frequently that only the most cursory of inspections was put upon each one. Terris passed the Alliance fleet entirely undetected.
Terris’ chameleon suit could mimic the sensor return of the precious metals it was buried in, at least enough to fool a probing scan, and the cuts made by Protectoral engineers had been so precise that Terris had fit inside there with barely a centimeter of space to spare. She was effectively entombed inside sixty meters of solid rock.
Interstellar espionage was not a job for the claustrophobic.
Finally, after days of waiting, the signal came. She was in range. A mental command triggered a series of shaped charges in the rock above her, if such directions existed in microgravity, and forty pea-sized explosives blasted a circular tunnel all the way to the asteroid surface. If just one of them had failed, that rock might have been her tomb.
Terris tried not to think about that as she began climbing her way out. A brief burst from her suit’s EVA thrusters was enough to start her on her way, and the tunnel out was wide enough for her to use her arms and legs to speed things up. Finally, after too long a wait, Terris saw the Neldian sun for the very first time.
There was fire in the distance. Comm chatter on every band. Warships burning hard for the outer system. The Coalition fleet was here.
She zoomed in, far more than she had ever had to before, and she could pick out the faintest flashes of blue as warships exploded in the black. A brief crawl around the asteroid, which also helped to warm up her muscles after days of inactivity, let her discern an attack force engaging the Alliance fleet. After a moment’s hesitation, weighing the risks, Terris activated her passive sensor suite to try and decrypt Alliance military chatter.
Instantly, her sensors were flooded with noise from the defensive bastions. The fleet base at the L5 point was loudest, its comm operators screaming indecipherably at fellow Alliance elements fighting in the black. Neldian orbit, where the hypercom station was, seemed to be the centerpiece of all the communications traffic. The hypercom, unsurprisingly, was being used as a relay for comm traffic all across the system. Terris made a note to hack its server banks for intelligence, and perhaps leave a timed virus or two to shut down the system after she was gone.
Her suit bleeped, alerting her that she was in optimum position to make the leap to the hypercom. She zoomed in on it, a red and spiked thing just like everything else the Alliance made, and calculated the right trajectory to land right on its metal surface.
Trying to jump from a moving asteroid out past Neldia’s rings and hit a hypercom station barely three hundred meters in diameter was like shooting a rifle from a jumbo jet in hopes of hitting a mosquito down on Earth. A nearly impossible shot, even with Coalition computers to help make the jump, and anyone lucky enough to make it would have been better served bankrupting their local casino at the slot machines.
Terris gave a command to her suit, activating a set of ion thrusters to boost her off the asteroid and adjust her course mid-flight. She’d never believed in luck.
She coasted silent and graceful past the particle guns in high orbit, like a majestic swan flying on a summer wind. Their sensor arrays were directed out, past her, to the far distant parts of space where a trillion tons of steel were locked in deadly battle. Terris really did wish she could smile at the moment. She was about to have unrestricted access to the biggest communications relay in the star system, able to send out viruses and receive vital intelligence that could cripple the Alliance fleet if placed in the right hands. Terris, confident as ever, knew they would be.
She would make the Neldian Armada burn, and they had no idea she was even coming.
She reached the hypercom station in just under a day, agonizingly slow for a woman like her, hovering just above its surface to avoid triggering pressure sensors. After that, it was simple enough to get inside. Terris found it almost trivial to bypass the airlock sensor grid and trigger the outer bulkhead to open unnoticed, its report to the command room destroyed before it ever arrived. Entering the station itself was easy after that.
Here, there was gravity. She could not hover like she had on the outside of the station. But here, there were no pressure sensors. She really had no need to hover.
The corridor she found herself in was large enough, though nothing like the expansive halls of a dreadnought, and a patrol of marines in powered suits trundled towards her obliviously. Terris had made the right call not to wear a Phantom powered suit. She ducked into an alcove, the chameleon suit concealing her from even their impressive sensor batteries, and they passed by with no clue at all.
Terris made it to the server banks with ease. Most of the hypercom’s security measures took the form of warships in orbit, clustered tightly around the planet to prevent exactly this scenario from happening, but those warships were off waging war. The station defenses were hopeless now that she was actually inside.
The data was encrypted, and she could neither access it nor copy it without potentially fatal consequences, but she wasn’t there to steal data. A brief, milliseconds-long connection to the primary server was all it took to riddle the entire system with custom-tailored computer viruses. The viruses were self-replicating, rather like an electronic version of the biological ones on Earth. They worked similarly, too, meant to latch onto outgoing communications signals and remain inert for a certain amount of time before activating and wreaking havoc across cyberspace.
The program would be scoured from the net in seconds once it began its assault, but it would cause plenty of chaos before then. And, with another critical transmission being scheduled to send at around that time, Terris knew her mostly-ineffective virus attack would be just enough of a distraction to make sure its message was heard.
Terris planned to leave the station in approximately thirty minutes. Shortly after that, the fireworks would begin. It was going to be beautiful.
She heard footsteps. A maintenance worker, no doubt. It was time for her to go. She disconnected from the server, taking pains to hide her involvement, and snuck out of the server room like a ghost in the night.
Next was the transmission array. This room was better-guarded, its door being flanked by marines, but Terris slipped inside by trailing behind an officer as he entered on some unknown pretext. After that, her daring and sleight of hand made sure Admiral Dama’s pre-recorded propaganda transmission was uploaded to the hypercom transmitter. It came with a set of instructions bearing the Admiralty’s seal, changed to be anonymous, to ensure as many people as possible heard his message.
In just under one standard hour, the United Human Alliance would be shaken to its very core. Terris had just made sure of it.
It took longer than she had expected for the door to open again and give her a chance to slip out. Terris had spent that time quite productively, downloading as many incoming and outgoing messages as she could to the internal hard drive just by her spinal cord. Even if they were encrypted, they’d be useful intelligence once Coalition codebreakers took a crack at them.
After that, it was trivial to slip past marine patrols and escape to the hull of the hypercom station. Terris found her ride, an Alliance warship by the name of Brightest Thunder, holding orbit just near the hypercom station. Admiral Dama, even if he was no longer an admiral, still had connections.
She charged her ion thrusters by tapping into the station reactor, an act which did not go unnoticed, but by then it was too late to respond. She had completed her incursion. The damage had been done. Perhaps if the Alliance acted swiftly and accurately, they could undo it, but Terris was a careful woman. She had covered her tracks well.
Waving one final goodbye to the crew of the hypercom station, Terris triggered her thrust pack and shot off into the ink.
“You must be my passenger.” A man in an Alliance captain’s uniform was waiting for her in the Brightest Thunder’s airlock. He wore a helmet and gloves, hermetically sealed to his airtight outfit, so he felt no effects from the vacuum of space. “I was sent by Sector Admiral Sheparda Dama,” he announced after a period of silence, “To transport you and whatever you may have safely to the Coalition fleet.” Nothing. Apart from the dull thudding of the ship’s railgun batteries, firing missiles at range to ward off a strike force of Coalition ships, the airlock was quiet as a ghost.
“You cannot expect me to endanger my life and the lives of my crew without at least some identification that you are who you claim to be!” Silence. Captain Senar Trevy had been standing in that airlock for three and a half hours, while his ship was tasked with screening Neldia and her eighteen billion inhabitants from harm, and he was just now wondering if he had been talking to a ghost.
“I am,” came a voice. Cold. Sterile. Inhuman. Exactly the kind Trevy expected from the secret spies of his former admiral.
“So you are.” Captain Trevy thought for a moment. He cycled the airlock. If his guest held hostile intent, one steel bulkhead would make no difference. “I’ve been stocking the crew with handpicked men and women since I received word of the operation,” he explained as they walked through the ship’s corridors. The crewmen he passed thought him insane. “I can’t vouch for them all, but the ship as a whole will obey me.” No response. Sometimes, Captain Trevy thought himself insane as well.
“This is my personal quarters,” he told the specter, stepping inside and sealing the door behind him. “I must warn you, for your own safety, it would be best not to leave it. The crew are mostly still Alliance loyalists.” He looked around, paying no heed to the decorated furniture or artificial sky, and finally shrugged and sighed. “Are you even here, still?”
Terris decloaked. She stood between him and the door, winged and cloaked in black like a demon of ancient myth. “I am.”
“You’re a black angel.” Senar Trevy, to his credit, kept his composure well. “A spy for the Ierad Republic.” He questioned her purpose here. They both knew it.
“You weren’t told?”
“I was told an alien would be coming aboard, but…” Trevy shrugged again, as if to say ‘what am I supposed to do?’ “The admiral vouched for you. That much is enough for me.” He also knew he had no choice in the matter. From what he knew about black angels, his ship had been lost the moment she boarded.
“I could have impersonated him,” said Terris, voice a perfect replica of Captain Trevy’s own. Even his own mother could not have told the difference. “And I’m trained to lie.” She was testing him, gauging his reaction to assess his personality. She was good at that.
“I could have you screened for deception,” Trevy countered, pointing up at a pearl-sized camera in the ceiling. Terris made a note that it was disabled. “And I could have had the technology officers vet your transmission.”
“I’m trained to lie well.” Terris sat down on Captain Trevy’s bed, a spartan thing compared to the sleeping quarters of most officers. There were no chairs in the room, so her options were few. She took off her helmet and tried to at least appear relaxed. In reality, she was anything but. “It comes with the job, really.”
“Fair,” Trevy chuckled, feigning calm. “I suppose the question now becomes whether or not you can trust me.”
“It’s a safe gamble.” Terris made a mental calculation. It would take her between thirty and fifty seconds to kill Captain Trevy, take the bridge, and vent the ship. That was a very safe gamble. “Besides, that’s what a peace treaty is.” Trevy looked confused. “A leap of faith. You trust your enemy to back their word, and you trust them to trust you as well. If we can’t get along here, can’t put aside our differences to work toward a common goal, then the Alliance will be right. And I hate it when they’re right.”
“I’m speaking to you now because I know they are wrong.” That came as no surprise to either of them. “You know, I was once a foreman of a labor crew in the munitions factories. The most productive unit in my sector.” That one did come as a surprise. “As a foreman, you get leeway to make certain decisions regarding the… well, I suppose they are slaves, under your command. Food intake and the like.” Captain Trevy looked pained when he brought up such memories. Terris wasn’t convinced that was how he really felt. “They use it to weed out any potential xeno sympathizers from the populace. Of course, at the time, I wasn’t so empathetic.”
“So you were a slave driver, and you beat your slaves to make them work. I hope every one of those shells was sabotaged.” Terris’ voice dripped with disdain. She had almost forgotten the Alliance captain was her enemy.
“No, I showed mercy,” Trevy defended himself. “I was generous.” This made Terris reconsider. Perhaps Senar Trevy could be an ally, if not a friend. “I won’t say I was a good man, but I wasn’t cruel. I was practical. Strong, healthy, well-treated workers are more productive than the beaten sacks of flesh in the other factories. My crew’s output was unmatched.”
“And?” Terris cocked her head inquisitively. For a high-ranking officer in the space navy of a genocidal regime, Senar Trevy really did not seem so bad. To be fair, however, she had set the bar pretty low.
“I was investigated for anti-human activity.” Terris could have predicted that. She almost did, too. “They sent me to the fleet, and my labor crew was reacquainted with the energy whips and pain beams.” There was no carrot for an Alliance labor slave. Only the stick. “Their productivity fell thirty percent in the first two weeks alone.” He sounded almost mournful as he said that. He was not lamenting the loss in productivity.
“You see,” said Trevy, “Hatred is not natural. It has to be caused, sustained, nurtured from the day a man is born until the day he dies.” With that, at least, Terris agreed. “And, as you’re about to see, a nation built around cruelty or prejudice cannot sustain itself. It will have to apply pressure to maintain its flawed status quo, like it did with me, and the pressure will build and build until it cannot build anymore.” He tapped a few buttons on the data disc in his hand. It began projecting an image of the battle for Neldia. He placed it on the bed next to Terris. “Now it’s breaking.”
“I wonder if they’ll find themselves in need of more shells.” Terris knew it wasn’t just shells. Every time a slave driver prioritized hatred over hard work, put cruelty over their quota, or even just bowed their head and obeyed the traditional dogma, they hurt the Alliance. Across nine worlds, with billions of slaves not working as they could have, things started to add up. “You know, for a superior species, your fleet is really getting its ass kicked right now. Might want to work on that.”
Captain Trevy nodded. His data disc beeped. He was needed on the bridge. “Agreed,” he said. “I hope this war ends soon, and to our mutual benefit. I’d hate to face you on the battlefield.” He picked up the data disc and turned to leave.
“Oh, forgot to mention, there’s a virus embedded in the transmissions you’ve received. Self-replicating. Nasty piece of work.” Terris shifted a bit in her seat. “Almost forgot about that.”
“Well, better to know now than when it’s activated,” Trevy smiled. “I’ll have Technology Officer Galdir investigate it.” With that, he left. His duty to the Alliance was nonexistent, but the men and women under his command still needed him. He had waited too long in the stateroom.
Terris, with nothing better to do, got to work on cracking the encryption in the transmissions she had copied. She failed. A transmission from deep in unknown space, sent from a dreadnought at the head of a task force known only as the Deep Expedition Fleet, was the only message she could read. Its contents, while troubling, mattered little at the moment. What was far more crucial, however, was the message Terris could not decipher. The military battle plan of Janus Ora’s personal armada.
The battle plan that, when analyzed on a Republic starship, would reveal its terrible secret too late.
The Coalition fleet was walking into a trap.
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submitted by ApprehensiveCap6525 to HFY [link] [comments]


2024.05.18 21:18 Street-Republic-1342 Hiv scare and im loosing it

Hello everyone, I (19M) from Malaysia had done something really stupid last year may 2023 when i was 18 years old. I had made a bad decision and one thing lead to another and i had unprotected sex with another man from grindr (I was bottom). He did not insert his penis fully into my anus and it lasted for about 5 minutes before he pulled out but he did not ejaculate inside. He ejaculated maybe 5 minutes after from stroking it himself as I didn’t feel like continuing it. I have been going through web pages stating that the risk of hiv is the highest for receptive anal sex and im completely loosing it. I’m not sure if I have most of the symptoms listed but i do have the occasional blocked nose. During July I had the worst cough I ever got which lasted for about 2 months and I had occasional sore throats. The cough happened after I had contracted COVID during June of 2023. I just recently did my test at a local clinic and I’m currently waiting on the results. I’m having really bad panic attacks right now and I don’t know what to do. I know it may not sound serious to most of you but its really freaking me out as I overthink a lot. I’m having really bad anxiety right now. Please help me.
submitted by Street-Republic-1342 to STD [link] [comments]


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