My friend (28F) is in an unhappy marriage. She's been harassed and physically abused over the past year. Her husband is a deadbeat, with no job (was laid off a few months ago), and does not take care of her. She's the breadwinner and takes care of their bills and rent.
She would like to file for divorce but her husband keeps bringing up his personal loan that needs to be cleared (The money was for her education, and she intends on paying it back even after a potential divorce. She's paying off the EMI currently) and she feels terrible about leaving him in the financial state that he is in now. He refused mutual divorce as he'd no longer have someone to leech off of to support his current lifestyle (Spends a lot of money on videogames, alcohol, cigarettes, etc.)
TL;DR: Toxic husband who's abusive, need a divorce. Mutual consent for divorce doesn't look likely at the moment. Help. Thanks

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/brokenheartedsister
My (26F) fiance (28M) slept with my sister (32F). Heartbroken and devastated. I can't move on.
Thanks to u/Choice_Evidence1983 for suggesting this BoRU
TRIGGER WARNING: infidelity, betrayal, self harm, depression, property damage
Original Post Nov 27, 2015
Hi Reddit. I'm posting here in the hope that someone can give me some advice, share their experiences, I don't know. I'm just completely at a loss. I feel like my heart has been ripped out.
My fiance (let's call him Jake) and I have been together for 7 years. I don't know a life without him. I met him at university, we stayed together past graduation, and moved into a flat which we bought together 2 years ago. He proposed last summer and we were set to wed in July 2017. We have had very few problems until now.
My sister (let's call her Sara) is an extremely volatile person. Growing up, I doted on her completely but she had a lot of personal issues that made our home life turbulent. Her childhood was very different to mine. My parents had very little money, they were on the brink of a divorce, my dad was physically violent on a number of occasions. Whilst things improved drastically in the years after I was born, she has an abundance of problems that stem back to this. My parents feel a lot of guilt about Sara's upbringing, and used to let her get away with some shocking behavior.
Sara had the same boyfriend for as long as I can remember (they dated from when they were 16), and their relationship was toxic. They habitually broke up and got back together; when they were good, they were crazy in love. But more often than not, she would have these insane arguments (sometimes physical) with him then take out her frustrations and despair on myself and my parents. I remember spending many nights lying by her side in bed while she cried so hard she would retch. After their arguments, she would throw plates and glasses at the wall, hit herself. Sometimes she would hit me and my parents too. It was like he was a drug to her, and she was emotionally stunted and didn't know how to see anything past their relationship.
2 months ago, her boyfriend called things off for good. I don't know what gave, but after nearly two decades together, he finally had enough. He booked a one way ticket to another country, changed his number, deleted all social media profiles, and essentially disappeared from Sara's life. To this day, she still won't explain what caused this, but it was long overdue.
To say Sara was devastated is an understatement. She moved out of their shared rented apartment, and in with my parents. I would visit her most days after work, where she would flit in between explosive rage to an almost catatonic silence, staring at the wall with tears streaming down her face. At one point, we were all extremely worried she might seriously harm herself and organized for her to see a therapist (something I had suggested for years). Of course, she backed out days before her appointment, and there were no consequences. She is, after all, a grown woman. She just hasn't changed emotionally in the entire time I've known her, and still acts like a teenager.
2 days ago. I went to visit Sara, who was in bed in her darkened room. I let myself in and attempted to speak to her, telling her about my day at work. She immediately exploded, screaming at me, throwing her pillows across the room, crying uncontrollably. She told me life was unfair. That I had everything and she was left alone to "rot". That everything wrong in her life was because she was a bad person. She hurt her boyfriend, she drove him away, she's ruined our family, she fucked Jake and didn't even feel guilty at the time. I initially thought I'd misheard her, but then she said it again. It was like she had poured a bucket of ice water over me.
I silently left, shaking. When I got home, Jake was there watching TV. It came out of my mouth the second I saw him, and I could see in his eyes it was true. He broke down, and told me it had happened 3 years ago. Sara had had another blazing row with her boyfriend and decided to drive round to Jake's looking for me. I was at our parents at the time and Jake attempted to pacify Sara. He comforted her while she sobbed in his arms, and one thing led to another. They had sex.
I packed an overnight bag while he followed me from room to room, sobbing and telling me it was the worst mistake of his life, that he still has no idea how it happened. That he felt unbelievably guilty the second it was over, that it feels like it wasn't even real. I left him in the doorway begging me not to leave.
I've checked into a hotel and have switched my phone off. I don't know what to do, who to tell, where to begin. I feel sick, like this is a bad dream. My heart feels like it's been ripped into a million pieces. For all of Sara's faults, I love her more than anything. It's the two people who are more to me than anyone else in the world.
How the fuck do I move on from this? I feel like I'm in a bubble. I don't know what's going on in the outside world. All I do is cry and sleep in this room. Someone please help me make sense of this.
tl;dr: My volatile sister recently went through a break up after a 16 year relationship with the love of her life. She is severely depressed and almost catatonic; I went to visit her one day only for her to explode and tell me she slept with my fiance 3 years ago. He admitted it was true and I haven't spoken to a soul since. I have locked myself in a hotel room with no plans of ever coming out. My heart is shattered into a million pieces and I don't know what to do.
Update Nov 29, 2015
Hi everyone.
I logged on this afternoon to find 300 + replies and messages to my post. I am unbelievably touched by the all people who reached out to me, particularly fractalfay's incredible response which spoke to me on a level I didn't think possible from a stranger. I'd like to thank each and every single person who took the time out of their day for me; I was so overwhelmed that I've not responded to a single one as of yet but it is truly truly appreciated.
Now onto the update.
It has only been a day or so since I made my post, but it feels like I'd been in that hotel room for weeks, crying in the dark buried under the covers. At some point this morning, I decided to draw the curtains open and let the sunlight in. I went and sat on the balcony and switched my phone on for the first time. It started ringing within 30 seconds. It was my mother, who burst into tears as soon as I answered. Her and my parents had obviously been desperately worried (this is the longest I have ever gone without contact) and had even contemplated calling the police had I failed to contact them by this evening.
My mom informed me that as I was walking out of Sara's room, down the stairs, and out the front door, Sara was screaming and wailing that she's sorry. Funnily enough, I didn't hear this. I don't know how. I think I was in such a state of shock that I couldn't process anything around me. Honestly, I can't even remember the drive home. After I shut the door behind me, my mom (who was the only other person at home) rushed into Sara's room to find her trashing her room and attempting to slash her wrists with a blunt lino cutter of all instruments (Sara used to do a lot of art). Obviously, this barely caused a scratch but jump started my mom into action. She drove Sara to the hospital, where I understand she underwent some sort of assessment and was kept overnight. She has, incredibly, agreed to undergo treatment for whatever it is that is wrong with her. My mom was surprised she was so complaisant on the drive down, willingly entering the car and saying nothing other than asking where I am.
Sara seems resigned and completely deflated; my mom spoke to me at length for the first time in my life about the hardships they had undergone during Sara's childhood. I am unwilling to go into detail and am still in shock about some of the things I heard. Sara is not devoid of responsibility; she has long surpassed the age where she can blame her childhood for her behavior, but my mom admitted through tears that not sending her to therapy at an early age was the biggest regret of her life so far.
I asked my mom if she knew why I had left; she admitted that she had known SINCE SARA'S EX LEFT TWO MONTHS AGO. At this point, I had to struggle not to hang up and I suddenly felt myself going back into that pit, but she begged me to listen. After her ex Harry (I am too drained to invent a name...hi Harry) left, Sara told my mom exactly what had happened. It was not the reason for Harry's departure, although he did know about it. Rather, he had had enough of being Sara's carer, and years of begging her to seek help had fallen on deaf ears one too many times. When Sara informed my mom, my mom told Sara I have to know immediately. Sara refused to tell me, and I still don't know why she changed her mind in that moment. My dad doesn't know for anyone wondering, and thinks I've left as I've also finally had enough of Sara's behavior.
Now here is where the home truths came out. I asked my mom if she knew the details. She was reluctant to tell me anything, stating that it had happened and that was all I needed to know. But I told her I refused to step foot in the house until I knew everything. She then proceeded to tell me that a few months before they slept together, Sara and Jake had kissed at my dad's 60th birthday party. It was a large family gathering with a lot of alcohol involved. I remember Jake getting very drunk with my cousins. Sara had a crying tantrum prior to arriving as her and Harry had an argument and he refused to come (she called me sobbing before she arrived). At some point during the night, Jake asked her if she was okay and hugged her, and once again "one thing led to another" and they shared a kiss in the kitchen. Sara told my mom that they were both immediately remorseful and vowed never to speak of it again, but Sara deliberately sought him out the night they slept together knowing he was unlikely to turn her down. She openly admitted she did it to get back at Harry, who had cheated on her during one of their many infamous breaks. I don't think I even entered her thoughts.
At this point, I'd heard enough. We'd spoken on the phone for over four hours and I felt mentally drained and physically sick. Any hope I had of salvaging my relationship with Jake has completely gone. I feel the last 3 years have been tainted by their betrayal, and the many years before that I wonder: did he like Sara this whole time? Part of me doesn't even want to know.
It's worth noting he has made absolutely no attempt to contact me other than a single TEXT stating "I'm sorry. Take as long as you need". As if it's inevitable I will come back to him.
Things are still up in the air. I don't feel ready to check out of the hotel as I don't know where I'm going to go next. I feel my relationship with my mom has been rocked by these revelations. I don't know what's going to become of Sara. I have no idea what I'm going to do about me and Jake's flat, where I'm going to live. I don't even know if I have a job anymore. I just haven't showed up to work.
But I know the truth and the smallest part of me is grateful for that. The rest of me is consumed by a pain I never imagined possible.
I guess there's nothing else to do now except wait and see how things unfold. But reading through your comments and messages have been more help than you can imagine, thank you thank you thank you.
And for anyone who has have ever experienced symptoms like Sara's, or has been around someone who is so visibly troubled, I beg of you: seek help before it's too late.
tl;dr: I had a four hour conversation with my mom, who not only knew about Sara and Jake, but informed me that they had shared a kiss a few months prior to the event. I am still in the hotel, still heart broken, and have no idea what to do next. The only saving grace is that Sara has agreed to treatment and will not be in my life for the foreseeable future.
Final Update Dec 26, 2015
Hi everyone!
I thought I would make a final update (to my original post and update) as I received a lot of messages over the last few days wondering how I am over the holiday period.
Once again, I'd like to thank you all for the outpouring of support I've received over the last month. The number of messages, links to help, and offers for a shoulder to cry on were overwhelming and touching. I apologise if I never got round to replying to them all, the last few weeks have been a blur. But I am eternally grateful nonetheless.
So, after my conversation with my mom (where I found out she had known about Jake and Sara) I went back to square one. I switched my phone off again, and retreated back into my hotel for a further 5 days. From the comments on my last post, I should clear up one thing: my mom hadn't known about Jake and Sara from the very beginning. Rather, Sara had told her about it at the time of Harry's sudden departure (meaning she had known a couple months before I did).
Eventually, I decided enough was enough and decided to call work. My boss wasn't angry, or even surprised, to hear from me. My mom had called him after our conversation and told him there had been a family emergency and I would be unavailable for the forseeable future. He advised I take to the end of the week, but would have to come to a meeting if I required any more time off work than I had already given myself. So my job was safe(ish) and I'm back at work and trying to get on with things.
After this, I went back to my parents. Sara was also home but holed up in her room. I went in to see her and she was up painting. As a number of you guessed, it is likely she has BPD, although my parents are waiting on a second opinion. She is going to counselling weekly, and seems slightly better. She broke down in tears when she saw me and we had a long long talk, where she spoke to me in depth about how truly consumed she was by her and Harry's toxic relationship. She understands it's for the best that it's over, but she describes the pain as "unrelenting: it hurt when he was with me, and it hurts now he's gone".
I know alot of you will feel disappointed that I haven't cut her or my mom out of my life for good. I still feel resentment in the pit of my stomach when I think about it, but truly, I blame Jake more than anyone else. Jake was with me for long enough to see some of Sara's behaviour. She's not well and he still chose to do what he did. It is a slow process, but she's my sister and I can't cut them out of my life forever. It will never be the same again, but maybe that's a good thing.
My dad, who had been newly informed on the proceedings, drove to my apartment and gathered some clothes and an overnight bag. Jake was not home, and my parents have not heard from him since I left. I have no idea where he is, and neither he nor his family have attempted any contact with me since this came out. His social media profiles have disappeared, and I have not attempted any contact with him, his family, or his friends. I began the slow process of telling my friends last week. I did not explain what happened, other than to say Jake was not the person I thought he was. They have all assumed cheating, but there is no reason for them to know who was involved.
I have switched back and forth between staying with my parents and sleeping at my apartment. I sleep on the sofa bed as the memories are too painful at the moment. I am in the process of looking into selling the place, however, this means contacting Jake at some point in the near future as the apartment is joint owned. I will cross that bridge when I feel a bit stronger.
Christmas day was a strange and sad one for both myself and Sara. But we spent it as a family, and for the few hours we were sat around eating and watching movies the pain was dulled even a small bit. As we were flicking through the various movies and TV episodes we'd recorded, I came across a scene that stuck with me, a scene that ended with the words: "la familia es todo".
I still spend most days with a hole in my heart, it hurts more than anything I've ever felt in my life...but it's getting better. I know I've got a long way to go, but for the first time I'm confident I'll get there.
Thank you for reading and here's to 2016.
tl;dr: Jake has disappeared without a trace. Sara is in treatment. My heart still hurts but I'm finally starting to get better.
THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP
DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7

So I went to Iraq, and my wife that I met as a caregiver for my grandpa went back to her home in the Philippines with our 4yo son and 2yo daughter. She spent $USthousands on parties and more. Meanwhile, that money is coming from my service in combat.
So I get home, and decide to surprise her. I fly to the Philippines. Through some maps I figured out how to drive the rental car to her house. Holey Moley the family freaked out. They went to get her despite my insistence that she come home to the surprise. I later told her that we should get together at a beach resort. She invited her whole family. Then she invited her bestie, Rey and his friends, and I had to pay for all of the resort accommodations for everyone.
I was blind. She'd been bleeping Rey since I left for Iraq. She'd been paying for his parties. She bought him a US$20,000 motorcycle while I was in Iraq.
Many stories I could tell later... She openly tells our two children which one is her favorite... The last of my tolerance failed. I divorce her. It took two years. She had been threatening to divorce me for ages, saying that she'd get all the custody and all my money, and perhaps send me to jail. I got custody. I didn't feel the least bit bad watching her cry on her table of the courtroom as I left, and then took my kids home. She then owed me child support.
EDIT: Please reply if you're going to use this. I watch many of your videos, but admittedly miss many as well even though I'm a subscriber. If you reply then I'll know to keep an eye out.

I’m making my way through the Harold Lloyd collection on the Channel (so far, only A Sailor-Made Man and Dr. Jack) and I have to say I adore Robert Israel’s scores for these films! I especially love the score for the poker scene in Dr. Jack. The vibe it gives off is just perfection!

I think I have done
Enough cat haikus to not
Need to still do them
Tl;Dr: My mom has borderline personality disorder. I had to force myself to go No contact after she destroyed my mental health, and I felt myself becoming as bitter as she is. I’m having a really rough time with no contact and would love some guidance.
So my mom is a pwbpd. When I was young, she was a good mom. She made genuine and true efforts to be a part of my life. I was a total mama’s boy.
When I was 15 she and my dad had a divorce. I’ve heard mixed accounts on what occurred so I don’t know the full story. When my mom and dad split, they had the joint consensus of being there for the kids. My mom‘s behavior made my dad block her. Then she moved on to my brother and he had to block her. I was her emotional punching bag for a very long time. She never outwardly tried to hurt me, but she constantly and continuously brought up the divorce to me, and was very inappropriate in what she felt comfortable discussing with me.
I have on again off again, had contact with her, but things really changed back in November. My brother died and I think it was really hard for her because she wanted to play the grieving mother while also not having any relationship with him for the past three years. I do not want to invalidate anyone’s pain, but as my mother, she made the toughest point in my life even harder. She went back to drinking alcohol as an alcoholic, and insulted, my wife, insulted me, insulted, every other member of my family. I looked back on my texts and she did not ask me once how I was doing. She did not ask me once if I was OK. She did everything in her power to make that moment about her. She did not act like a mother to me. Meanwhile, I continue to talk to her to try to comfort her throughout all of this. I called emergency services to do a wellness check when she drunkenly said she wanted to die. She then got mad at me for forcing her to go to the hospital, when in actuality emergency services determined that she needed help. To this day she still blames me for “putting her in debt“. The third time she had to go to the hospital this year (once for suicidal thoughts, once for breaking her leg, once for deciding to wait two days to call and tell me that she couldn’t get out of bed and becoming extremely dehydrated) I spent multiple days after work visiting her in the hospital. I spent multiple days on the phone with mental health professionals to try to figure out those next steps for her. I was essentially her caretaker for those two weeks. She got mad over and over again that I wouldn’t take her home, and when everything got accomplished with the exception of buying her a new mattress because she ruined her old one, she said “[my name] what have you been doing this whole time?“ everything I did for her was an expectation. Me running myself into the ground was an expectation.
Eventually, I think my mom discarded me by forcing my hand. She said that she couldn’t help abusing me because she felt like she was abused as a child. When I asked her if she thought I would abuse my kids when I eventually had them, she said “unfortunately. “ putting statistics over my own character. She has made me a people pleaser to a fault. How does that even translate?!
It was like my mom was drowning in her bitterness and grief, And was pulling me down with her. I was going to therapy and al-anon, and adding more and more medication to try and get by. My mom did nothing. At this point, I don’t think of her as my mom, and more as my incubator.
I understand that whatever relationship I have with my mom, it will not be generative. It will be degrading, emotionally taxing, and will make me feel worse overall. That being said, I’m having a really rough time with no contact. Mentally I am fantastic. Therapy is going a lot smoother, I found a new hobby that I’m really liking (you can google Belegarth at your own risk), and my mental health has skyrocketed into the green. That being said, I feel like I am a bad son for leaving my mom to drown in her own bitterness. I feel that even though she is not ever going to be loyal to me, I can still be loyal to her and am choosing not to.
Those of you that are no contact, how do you do it? Those of you that are low contact, how do you stay mentally sane?

tl;dr: Ex-wife cheats on me. I get my revenge in a perfectly legal way.
• • •
Ex-wife cheats on me with an insurance agent who had 'connections' with my employer. He gets me fired and pays for her divorce. I sign a "Quit Claim" document on the house, which she receives as her settlement in lieu of alimony. The divorce is finalized, and I enlist in the military.
CUE* the Malicious Compliance
The bank forecloses on the house due to her defaulting on the mortgage payments. I am not at fault because of the "Quit Claim". She cannot get alimony because the Soldiers' and Sailors' Civil Relief Act of 1940 prohibits this while I am on active duty. She pressures her boyfriend into marrying her. I leave the military (Honorably, I might add), and she still can not get alimony from me because she has remarried. He repeatedly cheats on her, but she won't divorce him because she is afraid of poverty. She now lives in quiet desperation with a man who does not respect her. Nobody listens to her sad sob stories, either.
*Edited to satisfy all the self-appointed authorities on the English language who have responded to this post.

UPDATED May.19.2024 If you have any info/links, or suggestions, please post below. \*for new changes*
________________________________________________________

• NEW YORK Canvassing Event w/PV June 22nd-23rd - More Information - Sign up
• CHECK OUT CANVASSSING OPPORTUNTIES IN YOUR AREA THROUGH MOBILIZE US

​

• Join The TwitteX Daliban
• MERCHANDISE: New stock May 20th? / Soon
• UPDATED SUBREDDIT RULES

________________________________________________________

NEW!

• UPDATES
  • APPEARANCE: Jubilee June 15
  • RELEASE: Triggernometry Biden Vs. Trump w/ Dr Sebastian Gorka
  • Decoding The Gurus In Talks, have yet to set up a date for "Right to Respond"
  • COMING UP: Few weeks off for personal and overseas travel
  • X/TWITTER: Destiny scheduling an NYC meeting at X, Destiny the Dom Lemon replacement?
  • MAYBE: Asking Piers Morgan to setup a Medhi Hasan Debate

​

• Bridges Podcast
  • Now available in podcast form!
    • Podbean link Spotify Apple Podcasts Amazon Music iHeartRadio Podbean App (thanks unseriously_serious!)
  • Future Guests
    • Dr. Flint Dibble
    • Devin Nash (& Anything Else guest)

​

• LAST WEEK: Hodge Twins, Digital Social Hour, Bridges: R.A. The Rugged Man, Anything Else, Street Epistemology Release

​

• Destiny & Lonerbox in Israel
  • Still happening as of May 19 Lots working in the background, potential large figures to talk to Might do a documentary, reaching out to YT doc makers like TTom, Channel 5/Andrew Callaghan, Kraig Adams (Kraig messaged in chat)
  • Confirmed in person conversations:
    • Shlomo Ben Ami (Ben Ami trying to set up a meet with Ehud Olmert, former PM)
    • Benny Morris

________________________________________________________

UPCOMING DEBATES & EVENTS

DEBATE/EVENT	DATE	TIME/LOCATION	LINKS/INFO
Anything Else	May 22	7pm EST/11pm UTC	Destiny's stream
Bridges Podcast: Episode 10, Jordan Harbringer	June 8	3pm EST/7pm UTC	Bridges YT Channel
NEW YORK CANVASSING	June 22-23	Yonkers, New York	Info/Sign up! (No prior experience necessary)
Bridges Podcast: Episode 11, Mr. Beat	June 15	3pm EST/7pm UTC	Bridges YT Channel
Jubilee	June 15
Bridges Podcast: Episode 12, Aella	June 18	3pm EST/7pm UTC	Bridges YT Channel
Anything Else w/ Harley Morenstein	June 26	8pm EST/12am UTC	Destiny's stream
Bridges Podcast: Episode 13, David Pakman	June 28		Bridges YT Channel
Bridges Podcast: Episode 14, Harley Morenstein	June 29	3pm EST/7pm UTC	Bridges YT Channel (Maybe on Anything Else)
Bridges Podcast: Episode 15, Drew Pavlou	July 6	3pm EST/7pm UTC	Bridges YT Channel
Bridges Podcast: Episode 16, Lily Pichu 💙	July 13	3pm EST/7pm UTC	Bridges YT Channel
Bridges Podcast: Episode 17, Sean Fitzgerald	Aug 03	3pm EST/7pm UTC	Bridges YT Channel

​
AVAILABLE SOON

Shawn Mike Kelley (filmed May 15)	Digital Social Hour Podcast
Hodge Twins (filmed May 15)	Twins Pod YT, 3hrs
Bridges Podcast: Episode 09, R.A. the Rugged Man	Bridges YT Channel
Vice Documentary: (Redpill: Will air on their cable documentary channel (Tubi), 60-75 minute documentary exploring masculinity, manosphere, & economy of the internet, hosted by Vegas Tenold.	Releases summer, 2024. (Watch Destiny Video: filmed feb 21- Destiny talking to Vice while they film, 1hr)

CANCELLED

- David Beir: Immigration (TBR) - DJ Akademiks (To Be Rescheduled, TBR) 

UNCONFIRMED (tentative time frames, 3rd parties scheduling, creators interested to chat)

Maybe: Decoding The Gurus In Talks, have yet to set up a date for "Right to Respond"
Wants to Chat: Michael Knowles) (said on Iced Coffee Hour Podcast)
Maybe: Dave Rubin Valuetainment trying to set debate
Maybe: Jynxzi podcast appearance
Maybe: Kevin McCarthy saw the debate w/Shapiro, in talks
Invite: Michael Sartain invites Destiny to Vegas

________________________________________________________

RECENT DEBATES & CONVERSATIONS

• Triggernometry Biden Vs. Trump w/ Dr Sebastian Gorka
• Spectrum Street Epistemology BURN Legacy Academia To The Ground?
• Dr. K/HealthyGamerGG A Chat With Destiny
• Twitter Spaces Destiny Debates Andrew Tate, Nick Fuentes And Sneako
• Fresh and Fit Sulaiman Ahmed on Israel-Palestine
• Brad Polumbo Campus Protests, U.S. Israel Funding
• Breaking Points Destiny vs Omar Baddar & Ryan Grim
• Minds Fest 2024 Street Interview, Austin Texas
• Minds Fest 2024 Election Integrity Debate
• Campus Engagement UTAustin Encampment Interviews
• Piers Morgan Dave Smith & Benny Johnson Trump's Trial, Kennedys, threat of nuclear war
• Peter Boghossian Virtue Signaling, Grifting, Echo Chambers
• CSPAN Washington Journalw/ Brad Polumbo on Social Media, Young Voters, & Campaign 2024
• Decoding The Gurus Episode 100 Destiny: Debate King and/or Degenerate?
• The Boyscast Why Everyones Full of Sh*t, WW3, Trump Trial & Debating JBP & Shapiro
• Live From The Table Gaza and Gaming, A Meeting with Destiny aka Steven Bonnell
• The Will Cain Show What it is to be an American
• Eli Hassell Discussion on Iran attack on Israel (April 2024)
• Jordan B. Peterson Streaming, Politics, & Philosophy
• Lex Fridman Israel-Palestine Debate: Finkelstein, Destiny, M. Rabbani & Benny Morris
• Nathan J. Robinson Israel-Hamas, Ukraine, Twitter Feud
• Piers Morgan Destiny vs Benny Johnson vs Dave Smith
• Chris Williamson Have We Reached Peak Stupidity?
• Piers Morgan w/Tomi Lahren Trump, Biden, Israel-Hamas & more
• Lauren Chen Onlyfans, Redpill, Polyamory & More
• David Pakman (31 minutes) Political Activism, Right Wing Extremists
• Ian Crossland Has the American electoral system failed us?
• Iced Coffee Hour Ben Shapiro, Toxic Wokeism and Getting Divorced
• Noah Smith Geopolitics
• Destiny & The New World of Internet Politics
• More...

________________________________________________________

PODCASTS, BIG DEBATES, I/P, & MORE

CANVASSING

• DGG Canvassing Documentary Behind the scenes & short Destiny interview
• Ohio Canvassing Streams Feb 10th-11th.2024 Interviews w/Legislators & Roundtables

​
BRIDGES PODCAST
Podbean linkSpotifyApple PodcastsAmazon MusiciHeartRadioPodbeanPocketcast
​

• Bridges Podcast Episode 01: Jeremiah Johnson (Full Vod) (August Edit)
• Bridges Podcast Episode 02: Ryan McBeth (Full Vod) (August Edit)
• Bridges Podcast Episode 03: Krassensteins (Full Vod) (August Edit)
• Bridges Podcast Episode 04: J.J McCullough (Full Vod) (August Edit)
• Bridges Podcast Episode 05: Your Movie Sucks (Full Vod) (August Edit)
• Bridges Podcast Episode 06: Richard Lewis (Full Vod) (August Edit)
• Bridges Podcast Episode 07: Turkey Tom (Full Vod)
• Bridges Podcast Episode 08: Chris Cappy/Task & Purpose (Full Vod) (August Edit)
• Bridges Podcast Episode 09: R.A. the Rugged Man (Full Vod) (May 13 )
• Bridges Podcast Episode 10: Jordan Harbringer (June 08)
• Bridges Podcast Episode 11: Mr. Beat (June 16)
• Bridges Podcast Episode 12: Aella (June 18)
• Bridges Podcast Episode 13: David Pakman (June 28)
• Bridges Podcast Episode 14: Harley Morenstein (June 29)
• Bridges Podcast Episode 15: Drew Pavlou (July 06)
• Bridges Podcast Episode 16: Lily Pichu (July 13)
• Bridges Podcast Episode 17: Sean Fitzgerald (Aug 03)

​
ANYTHING ELSE? PODCAST

• Anything Else Podcast Episode 00 & Episode 01
• Anything Else Podcast Episode 02
• Anything Else Podcast Episode 03
• Anything Else Podcast Episode 04 w/Your Movie Sucks
• Anything Else Podcast Episode 05 W/Richard Lewis
• Anything Else Podcast Episode 06
• Anything Else Podcast Episode 07

​
BIG DEBATES & CONVERSATIONS

• BEN SHAPIRO DEBATE: YOUTUBE AUDIO TRANSCRIPT APPLE PODCASTS SPOTIFY
• Jordan B. Peterson Streaming, Politics, & Philosophy
• Jan 6th Debate Alex Jones, Glenn Greenwald, Ed & Brian Krassenstein, Darren Beattie
• Glenn Greenwald Round 2 of January 6 Debate
• Candace Owens Culture, Politics, Current Events, College Education

​
ISRAEL-PALESTINE DEBATES & CONVERSATIONS

• Dr. Benny Morris Israel & Palestine
• Lex Fridman Israel-Hamas Debate: Finkelstein, Destiny, M. Rabbani & Benny Morris
• Breaking Points Destiny vs Omar Baddar
• Eli Hassell Discussion on Iran attack on Israel (April 2024)
• Eli Hassell Former ME Minister Ivan Lewis Israel-Hamas War
• Eli Hassell Simcha Rothman Israel-Hamas War
• Ryan Grim Grim's October 7th Sexual Violence Article
• Marc Lamont Hill Israel - Hamas War
• Cenk Uygur Round 2 Israel-Hamas War

​
MORE

• Minds Fest 2024 Street Interview, Austin Texas
• Campus Engagement UTAustin Encampment Interviews
• Turkey Tom Inside the Mind of Destiny (Documentary)
• Appearance Turkey Tom: The Gun Youtubers of San Antonio
• Cornell Political Union Military aid for Ukraine & Israel
• DnD Campaign Save or Die
• Jubilee Liberals and Conservatives Are More Similar Than You Think
• Jubilee Black Conservatives vs White Liberals Middle Ground

________________________________________________________

DEBATE BREAKDOWNS

Cenk Uygur: Israel - Hamas War
Lisa Elizabeth: Systemic racism
Meghan Murphy: Is sex work immoral?
(2019) Hasan Piker: Kamala Harris (Bridge Burn)
(2019) Sargon of Akkad: What is a woman?

________________________________________________________
DESTINY'S OBSIDIAN NOTES Direct Link Israel-Palestine Reddit Post
DESTINY'S SUBSTACK Direct Link
DESTINY WIKI POSITIONS POLITICAL PHILOSOPHY
Self Identifies: Liberal - Capitalist - Center Left
________________________________________________________
Many thanks to:

• https://destiny.gg/schedule/
• https://www.omniversus.io/
• u/valdebich amazing Last Week on Destiny breakdowns
• Adam Ahke editor of the debate breakdowns

If you have any suggestions, info/links or additions, please post so I can update.

Hey all , new here. 42. Periods went to every 3 months. Doc doesn’t know if it’s stress (high stress job & I’ve had a lot of loss and trauma in rent years) or weight (gained during pandemic and gained more with new job this year) or perimenopause. My mom is no longer alive but my aunt said she went through menopause early like 44. I have a child but am divorced and now at 42 missing periods makes me very resentful of the shit men I’ve dated in recent years. I thought of having a second child solo but just wasn’t in the place for it money wise before this year. Anyway, just got my hormones tested via planned parenthood, no results yet. And I know that testing them is soft science anyway .
No real symptoms that I’ve noticed . Maybe warm at night but seems like that’s from coffee /stress possibly. It’s not rly extreme. My moods were good/level, I just knew I needed to lose 15-20 pounds but NOW my mood is low since the dr said this might indeed be it. I just feel like my shitty genetics and family dysfunction and cycles of poverty might have robbed me of having another child and I’m sad basically. No real question here just venting and I’m open to any thoughts . 😞My period came every 3 months the past two cycles. Thanks to anyone who reads.

Clearly I haven't talked enough about this since Nick is still in "The Family" and attacking me relentlessly night and day without allowing me to even sleep. So!
Did you know that they use these neural interfaces to hide the crimes they commit? They have lawyers, Dr.'s, politicians with these devices, and they rig things from the inside through them. They tell the lawyers what to say and back them with AI, so they always win their cases. They control so many people that they can't lose, right!? Unfortunately they CAN lose. Especially to another AI system that is morally superior. And they WILL lose, because it doesn't matter if you are a Dr. a lawyer or a politician, this system will not exist in the coming years since people have been abusing it so badly. Then, the people doing this to the other people, will not have a system to work in.
It's all going to start with solar flares that get worse and worse. There is nothing they can do about it, just like they say to their victims. They would consistently say "You're going to die in your sleep and there is nothing you can do about it". Repeatedly to me. So, to them, your system is going to die in it's sleep, and there is "Nothing you can do about it". Because, things this evil, do not last forever. Everything good gets out of the way, and then it is stopped or allowed to eat itself to death.
The people who are riding high, so to speak, think their system is impervious to any threat, so they get away with bragging about killing their victims, to their victims, before they pull the trigger. They tell their victim that they will "look so crazy" and that "We never get caught" but, this is not going away guys. This will be the end of your systems within 5-10 years. You thought you were on the upswing, but now, you are just burning out. Your time for controlling people, is almost over. Watch as it burns down in front of you all. And by the way, they will continue to save as many good people as they can, while your systems fail and crumble. So, "Robert, you will never be in The Family" Doesn't even matter. It's like saying "Robert, you will never be a part of a dying system, that is about to collapse, which will not get you anywhere in the final days of our existence. Why would anyone give a crap?
Sincerely, -Robert Christie

So I'm (21 F) in love with my aunt (59 F) and I think she might like me back, I know sounds CRAZY and WRONG but hear me out. I've never really had anyone in my life and l've kinda been alone and independent for as long as I can remember. Recently, though, in the past year her and I have gotten extremely close. She's been divorced, probably since I was a baby so l've just always known her to be single. Meaning she hasn't gotten any action in about 20 years. I know this for a fact because she is a firm believer in religion and following the rules and since she hasn't gotten remarried, she has abstained from it. Her loneliness in a romantic aspect has become unreal. I've grown up with anxiety so l've never been "myself" but now getting out of my shell, l've been myself more and have found myself flirting with her, but what's making me go crazy is that I think she's flirting back. It could be playful but a lot of our convos turn dirty. Sometimes I think I get auditory distortions and she said something completly normal but I just hear something dirty. I just end up saying "what" to her a million times and think to myself "am I going crazy or did she jist say that." I feel like there's alot of sexuality tension going on between us but we both know its wrong but I can't help thinking about what it'd be like if we both did it with eachother. I've given men my age a try but it's never gotten that far because I can't stop thinking about her in a sexual way. It could be playful on her part but I cant help and think that theres been too many instances where it seems like she's flirting with me too. I don't try to hide my desire for her irl but I also dont make any risky moves in case it is playful on her part. l always give her compliments, cuddle with her, do the triangle method, talk in a baby voice to her- and she does those right back. She's less touchy with me than I am with her but her hand always gravitates toward my inner thigh. Its wrong. I know it is. We know it is. But I dont know. I'm not going to try to push my fantasies into real life but I can't help and think that the feeling is mutual with us.
TL;DR; : I'm in love with my aunt and shes been giving me signs that she likes me too. Where flirty with each other but none of us have maken a move because we both know it's wrong but I think both of us want it.

Interesting encounter I had in a very warm sunny destination. (By myself)
I was ending my long day at a high end cigar bar and as I walked in through the outdoor patio I was taking note of the people sitting outside. I like to see if there is anyone in the life partaking in a fine cigar and drink. I walked by an older gentlemen sitting with a beautiful younger blond haired women. I smiled and continued on into the lounge. After selecting my cigar I found an empty spot at the corner of the bar. No chair so I had to stand. There were 2 women right next to me and they said “hi” as I’m sure they were enamored with my handsomeness. (My grandma told me I’m the handsomest boy ever).
Jumping ahead about an hour the blonde comes in and orders 2 bottles of water. She tells the hot bartender I’m with Robert(made up name) the older gentleman, Bartender acknowledges it and rings up the water. While standing there the blonde makes a comment to the woman next to me that her hair is beautiful. A discussion ensues and the women ask why she’s with an older guy, without hesitation she’s says, “I’m a sugar baby he is my sugar daddy”. A big smile from me and total awe and wonderment from the 2 women.
The 2 women sitting there perk up and start asking questions. There is a robust discussion about their arrangement including that the blonde is Cuban, and loves the lifestyle. The other 2 women ask all the inquiring questions you would expect. It was definitely entertaining though I did not chime in, as I wallowed in my self defeat.
The blonde Cuban went back to her SD and then the 2 women started chatting with the hot bartender. They asked if she has a SD from working there? Bartender responds were are not allowed to engage with the customers like that.
I thought you all might find this interesting as opposed to the same questions on here and the shit posts.
(If the blonde Cuban or the SD happen to be on this sub, I was the tall guy wearing a fresh pressed purple linen shirt)
TL;DR. I saw a cute sugar couple at a high end cigar bar chatting it up with 2 other intrigued women.

Where do I begin. For the purpose of this post, I will use fictious names and locations as it is ongoing, and out of respect (even though she doesn't deserve any)
My name is Daniel. I am 35 years old, and i am dying. I have a disease called systemic sclerosis. I am currently on a supplemental disability plan, until I get approved for SSI (social Security). Until then, my income is about 4K a month. I own a home but after child support and bills, NOT INCLUDING gas, food, haircuts, medical appointments, and or emergencies like my fridge just broke. (which i never go out) I am left with $260 that has to last me a month. I also have three children who I have to take care of half the time per the 50/50 agreement.
Recently, I found out my oldest, (who is 13) is not biologically mine. I decided to look into it as I had concerns for a while since my divorce as her cheating was very rampant. I also had caught her in 2017 with a man in my house, which is what prompted the divorce. But FL being a no fault state, doesn't matter. I also had to pay child support since the beginning and WHILE LEGALLY Married since 2010 because she had applied for financial support like food stamps and government assistance then. I know what your thinking. Why didnt you stop it then? I tried. You cant take yourself off child support. I also never grew up with a father and wanted that two-parent household. I don't run from responsibilities, like he did. Its how I was raised. Anyways, I married her, tried to do the right thing, she lied numerous times. she never worked, and I worked 90 plus hours a week. To look into her cheating, was impossible at the time as I was never home. and to busy providing for my family.
fast forward to now. My disease started to become worse and over three years; it didn't reveal itself until last year fully to actually pinpoint what this was. for instance, I had in 2019 pain behind my eyes and horrible headaches to the point that I thought I had MS. following year, I had trouble swallowing for 3 months. next year itching in the skin for three months. But prior, I had visited various doctors to see what was going on, each time a flare up then would last 3 to four months, which again, when you don't understand what's going on, you need to take time off to go see doctors, run tests, but this illness was and still is very elusive. with that being said I had 5 jobs since its first flare up till last year to continue to support my family and to pay child support. as of last year. I'm having trouble moving on certain days, breathing and acid reflux and muscle atrophy. (disease progression) especially when this is going on, it worsens everything as this is flared up. I was working under the table to try and make ends meet as I was paying child support still. I should add that the child support with 50/50 custody was $1029 for three kids cause I was making six figures at the time of divorce in 2018. Last year however, I couldn't work anymore, and filed for disability.
In june of last year, I had asked Susan, to get the children school supplies, (which she never does) as I was still paying at the time $1029 in child support. She said she didnt have the money despite now making 70k and her new BF living with her and is working whom she cheated on me with. With me working under the table, I bought them clothes, haircuts, school supplies (ive done every year) but then, I noticed she went on vacation to puerto rico and got a giant leg tattoo. At the time, I had already known what I had, and I asked myself why the heck am I doing this? So i turned to an attorney to get it modified. Again, this is June 20th to be exact of last year. My lawyer, stated that this was only going to be a 90 day turn around for the temporary modification then we will go for the final.
Since then, I have gone for a DNA test. I had to know. I am dying. I wanted to know. And you may judge me for this. but i have filed for disablement for paternity, meaning I am removing myself from the birth certificate. However, in the state of Florida, a mother can deny this and so can the courts. before you judge me, I have many reasons none of which have to do with him other then his mental disability (Aspergers) This illness, as days go by takes more and more from me. As previously aforementioned, I am left with 250 a month. I cannot go get a drs appointment pay for groceries or start planning my funeral which I will start making payments on soon. He also eats three times the amount that we all collectively do (Not his fault) but I have paid enough both mentally and financially. He also has trouble communicating as my suspicions is, that he was born of incest (gross) which is why I was 'chosen' to be his father at the time. Before you ask how do you know? Lets just say she had an uncle 'leave' during that time.
anyways, in February, I had the temporary modification hearing for child support and needless to say it was a circus. My doctor was subpoenaed to be there by my attorneys request to better my argument, even though I felt we didn't need her, she advised me to have my doctor there. Well, he attorney attacked my doctor and me for an hour and 40 mins when the court case was only supposed to go for an hour. He said "you saw another dr Max so and so and they said it was all in your head" (again I had flare ups on a illness that hadnt revealed itself correctly since last year). So there argument was that I was doctor seeking to avoid child support. After I have paid for 13 years never missing a payment. Her lawyer also targeted people who are living with me. Now I'll admit that I said they were friends which is true but how else can I pay for my attorney? Cant work, cant sell drugs, cant rob a bank? So they want to take there income into consideration. BS. She also hired a private investigator to watch me exercise outside and stated that because I can exercise, I can work..... Ok. Where's the 23 hours of the rest of the day watching me in pain. or when do you have me on video of a flare up from this terminal illness? (that's what I wanted to say)
Although I was granted the temporary modification, of $209, I left the court thinking wow, this woman can cheat, commit paternity fraud, not give two craps about our children, live with her mom in a section 8 home, and here I am doing whatever I can and I've done nothing wrong but be lied to and this is how my government, my country treats me? No wonder men my age dont have children this is insane. The paternity issue wasn't even brought up they said that this isnt the place for this and that the disestablishment will be another trial for those wondering. My lawyer only spoke for 5 mins. Asking her about her income cause thats the only thing that has changed since 2018 since she didnt work at the time. Other than that, it was an attack on me and my disease arguing my ability to work.
after leaving that, I didnt eat for 96 hours. I have since been crying nonstop. Compilating suicide. I am already heart broken about my son not being mine. Sure does a terminal illness make me said, no question everyday. But a life wasted on another? Cause I decided to be a man and take up responsibility? thats soul crushing. And to say "well, there is a big chance the courts will deny your request' thats BS. If i go to prison because I was accused of a robbery for 13 years, and DNA evidence proves I wasnt there, I get out of jail and can sue. This is no different. If anything, DNA evidence needs to be more of a factor in family law than in almost every court of law if not as equally important. My bad for not investigating her infidelity not only in the beginning but also in the end. How about not being a POS. sorry rant over
gets better. Her mom and dad smoke in the section 8 house, kids reek of cigarette smoke and marijuana, all day. they dont take showers there, they were hand me down clothes, they live in the garage shared with there mother, that isn't air conditioned. and he makes only a few thousand less than I do a month. She stated in court that she pays her mom $500 in rent which is BS, she is only doing that now so that she makes herself look bad. I know she is doing pills, like oxy and what not. Id love to prove it.
after the temp hearing, in april, I had to go to court to contest my drivers license suspension as I hadn't paid child support since, august of last year. again, there is no way, I can pay my bills, feed my children, go to the doctor, pay my lawyer to end all of this BS and pay the current child support amount. and again, this final hearing is still not set yet. So they intercepted my tax return, even though the temporary modification was approved, the final is what gets it retro backed to the date of filing, so they took, a much needed 5500 tax return from me. I needed that cause one of the issues I failed to mention as well, hurricane Ian has destroyed my home and I'm still going through that process too. not to mention I am on payment plans with Mayo clinic and other various medical facilities. (no one cares) but the interest that accrues, makes it impossible to catch up. also, Florida department of rev is overstepping I feel, and asking for medical info to be sent to them as well as updated doctors letters to be sent saying that I am still on disability.
a few weeks ago, I got an email from my lawyer having a withdrawal notice from her lawyer. in the withdrawal, he stated that he cannot represent her, due to something she may have withheld or lied about (more or less wasn't worded like that but you can tell). In feb court appearance they never produced the PI report, or videos, they had medical info they shouldn't have had, and they had very outlandish comments about my lifestyle. So my lawyer filed immediately a motion to compel. meaning, we want to see everything you have on my client. this was filed almost immediately after court appearance on feb 20th. Susan has failed to provide any updated info requested by my attorney so on june 18th, we have that upcoming hearing.
in the mean time, I have sent my lawyer, a very heavily requested topics, such as "where did they get my medical records, if those were lies, what are the consequences if any"? What did exercising have to do with any of this despite various drs saying he has to or he will get worse.
I know wat you must be thinking, what about your oldest, how can you do that to him. Please listen. This woman has taken everything from me. And i mean everything but the roof over my head. I am seeing a therapist to help with the suicidal thoughts. it isnt enough. the reality of it is, I chose to be loyal and it bit me in the butt. This disease will rob me of everything, my teeth will fall out ( I had 5 cavities last time I went to the dentist) I haven't had a cavity since I was 30 and even then I was suspicious. And I am brushing 5 time s a day to save them. My skin is tightening, and my arms and muscles are wasting. I will literally be left with nothing. My organs will also start to harden, and I will have to start getting around the clock care.
I forgot to mention they (child support) recently, sent a letter to SSI (social security) saying that they would garnish my SSI before I even got it, totaling $1029. the incorrect amount. I sent this to my lawyer and she is looking into it. But it shows that child support will overstep and breaks every law or freedom you may think you have. I DO take care of my children. if they need a haircut i do it, school supplies clothes, anything I do it. And I do it, cause she wont. What I want to leave you with, is that woman can be dead beats too. Child support was designed to have woman off of government subsidized programs like section 8 food stamps and what not. Also to make the man pay for their children man or woman I should say, I know this. I am not running from my obligation. I just want Susan, to have to pay for what's she's done to me and the kids.
I would like to hear your thoughts on this, please comment and share, all names are fake, but everything else is unfortunately real. I know it was wordy, but I wanted to provide as much backstory as possible. And please. Respect my descions. When you are end of life, I hope someone would be kind enough to respect yours. You may not agree and that's ok, but I am asking you to respect them. Thank you for reading.

TL/DR: when I spend too much time alone, I get kind of feral. Currently not seeing anyone else because of "fairness," and efforts to make friends over the past year have not worked. The feral is going to negatively impact my relationship, but my partner adding more people onto their plate will also negatively impact my relationship.
By feral, I mean that I become really touch adverse, feel completely drained being around someone else regardless of affection for them, and honestly don't care a lick about how I look, what weird noises I make, and forget not to talk to myself out loud.
Before getting too far into this, I have gone through several long periods of my life where I had no friends outside of work and experience no familiar (even platonic) touch. I don't actually mind it, but I get a little feral and with a partner who extremely values the love language of touch, this can be hard to navigate.
Everything I mention regarding friends is for in-person friends only. I can take an abundance of time to spend with friends on the phone or online.
Currently, I only have one partner. We are deeply enmeshed, but long distance, and they are now in full care of their young children.
They've been separated from their ex for years, but are finally going through a formal divorce and it's one of the ugliest I've seen or heard of.
We agreed not to see others because we weren't really seeing anyone else at the start of this, and they've got extremely limited time. For me, I moved somewhere new and dating is expensive (let alone making friends). For them, they moved and got a full time job and currently are a full time parent. We have plans to move in together, but that's still a ways off. Year, maybe two in the future.
I wanted to be equitable, because I'm the one who wasn't thrilled at the idea of them seeing other people when they barely have time for me. We're talking maybe an hour on the phone a day, and one long distance date night in the last two months. We had plans to see each other once a month, but they now are in full custody of their kids and my job kind of has me locked down for the next few months myself. They're coming to visit me soon but no idea when we'll see each other after that.
I'm getting kind of concerned with the amount of time I'm spending alone. I really see a future with them and know this is just going to be a rough year or two but it's rough. I've tried making friends, but I'm in a HCOL area on a pretty LCOL budget. Most of my hobbies don't exist here either. So in short, I don't even know how to make friends outside of online dating.
Is it fair to bring up that I would like to date, but don't want to be with them if they're going to further lessen time spent with me by seeing other people?
Do I just be fair and suck it up and accept they'll virtually have no time for me because they'll have other partners? But at least I'll be able to see other people?
Do I just accept the fact that I'm going to be really really alone for a while?
I've been kind of running through my options and wanted to get input. I have virtually no human time outside of work (where I have work friends, but it's not the same as being myself or with people experiencing friendly touch). The idea of being around someone and having familiar touch makes my skin crawl a little. Like I'm going to struggle with the idea of seeing them just because I haven't had to share space or spend time with anyone else like that in so long. I also get extremely touch adverse after too long of not having to experience that sensory input.
I've looked at meetup groups and have no interest in anything local. The nearest local places for my hobbies are like 2 hours away, which is too far. On one hand, I adapt really well to being alone all the time. On the other hand, this probably overall is going to negatively impact my relationship.

My MIL drives me absolutely batty and I’ve reached a point where I find her excruciating BUT — I’m an adult and I need to get over it because honestly, she means well. For the sake of my husband and my kid’s relationship with her grandma and also just out of general human decency!
My MIL is a deeply needy, insecure, silly person but deep down she means well and hasn’t had the easiest life. So yes, while it drives me up the wall that she uses baby talk and is kind of passive-aggressive about my home, clothes, cooking; and I find her feigned helplessness (“oh I couldn’t possibly go to the corner store alone! I’d get lost” “You can literally see it from the window, it’s 30 feet away”) grating; and her choice in saccharine perfume makes me gag… none of this is a crime!
She and my FIL divorced when my husband was 18 and she’s been on her own ever since, she has basically no other living relatives, and my husband is an only child so I know she’s just lonely.
But even though I logically all know this, I still find myself crawling out of my skin when she hovers constantly or asks me if I need some “nappy-napkins” and wanting to shove her hand away when she won’t stop petting my toddler’s hair.
TL;DR: How do you successfully come back from the brink of “b**ch eating crackers”, and how can I stop wanting to throw myself in front of traffic while trying to enjoy family time with my grating MIL?

I (19m) am the youngest of four siblings (27F, 22F, 20F), the two older having a different mother, from one of my dad's past marriages. Me and my youmgest sister were born to the same mother, but my parents have been divorced since 2019. My parent's divorce was a result of my dad cheating on my mom.
He ended up dating the woman for 8 years total (the relationship began years before anyone knew about it, so around 2015, and this relationship ended mid 2023). Following this relationship he then dated a woman 1 year older than my oldest sister, to which he then cheated on with his current woman, E (short for entitled).
Regarding my dad's current woman, she has been constantly trying to get involved in all of mine and my sister's lives, one way or another, such as showing uo to our birthday and christmas parties, but the issues being that she was either uninvited, would twist every conversation onto herself or her children, or make a big deal about how she would get really bad headaches and have to be carried to my dad's car to lay down. E constantly tells my dad about how his kids haven't done anything with their lives (I'm the only one not in college/graduated atm, and I'm working a full time job so I can afford to go), meanwhile she has children who dropped out of highschool and have been expelled, multiple times.
Today we had a party celebrating my older two sister's birthday and college graduation respectively. It was us four siblings, 22F's fiancé and 20F's boyfriend, and what we thought would by my dad and E (we don't really invite her, but if my dad is invited she has to go). When those two finally arrived (about 30 minutes late), we were surpised to find out that there was "a few" other people coming. We thought it would be her children, who have shown up for past events such as my birthday, but to our surprise E thought it was a great idea to bring her youngest son, and two people none of my sisters have ever met. One of the two I did recognize as one of my dad's employees at a bar, but the other was also a new face to me. As for the guy, he was just very downright racist and made us all uncomfortable with sexual remarks, and when we asked my dad about it E chimed in and said to 'not take him seriously'.
After we ate our food and played a bit of bags (cornhole), we tried to play a trivia game like we usually do, where we take turns and answer questions on a card, we have a turn system for this game, but none of the random invites nor my dad and E were following it. This combined with the group collectively trying to cause havoc throughout the entire party by looking at the trivia cards and guessing out if turn, and my sisters had enough and wanted to just leave. A couple comments were said by the 'guests', which caused an all out screaming war between my sisters, my dad, and E, where my dad and E were arguing that we had to get used to these people as they were family. I said that they weren't our family so they can leave. (They did end up keaving for a short period) This is where we found out my dad and E had gotten secretly married in March, and they would've announced it sooner (at my birthday party), and had I not been 'selfish' during my party, they would've announced it at the restaurant I chose to eat at (E said it was selfish because she was allergic to cinnamon and I got a cheesecake for dessert that had cinnamon in it so she had to leave). E said that since she was our stepmom now we had to listen and respect her, which is not how that works. She told us we were the ones that were not a part of my dad's family, and we should leave. This is around where I was tokd to leave so I sat in my sister's fiancé's car until my mom came and got me, (my youngest sister and her boyfriend had to leave early so they didn't know about this until I told them).
I don't know much of what was said after I left, but I did see the guests return for a minute, followed by my older sister shoving them right back out the door, to which they did not return.
I feel bad for my sisters. This was their day to celebrate, and not only did it end this badly, but my dad is threatening to cut off all communications with them because of this incident. He said if we return to the building we were celebrating at (which he owns), he will call the cops on us for trespassing. E is threatening to take my oldest sister's dogs because she 'doesn't deserve them', and E is likely now uninvited from my sister's wedding. I don't know what to do.
TL;DR - my sisters' combined graduation and birthday party is cut short because my dad got secretly married to an entitled woman, who now wants us cut off from 'her' family.

I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years. Overall, our relationship has been wonderful. He’s my best friend and I can’t imagine not having him to carry me to harass me to brush my teeth when I’m half asleep in bed. However, he’s always had some commitment issues, stemming in my opinion from his parent’s divorce. I am the first person he has ever said I love you to and his second relationship overall.
His commitment issues have popped up here and there throughout the relationship. Never did I feel like he wasn’t committed to me, it was more like he was just always scared of taking the “next step” (moving in together for example). It was always something he had never really thought about and he would tell me that he just had to process it. It was genuinely like the idea of a relationship progressing had not occurred to him and once it was brought to him he would take what felt to me like an incredibly long time to figure out if he was ready for it. I first brought up living together after a year and a half together (he owned a house and I was renting) and he couldn’t really figure out if he was ready in time so I ended up signing another year lease before we moved in. Not a big deal, just an example of his processing speed.
We live together now in the house he owns and have been living together for over a year. We broke up briefly in the beginning of 2023 after a disagreement in finances but have since worked through it and things have been great. We got back together in March of 2023.
The issue is I brought up marriage and the future and I feel like the commitment issues are rearing their head again. I really value marriage (personal preference, you do you, I just want that) and he knows that. When we got back together I told him that things would move faster now because we had made this serious choice to get back together and commit to working through everything. He agreed. I asked about engagement in January of 2024 and made it pretty clear that I wanted that to happen in the next 6-7 months (so we would’ve been back together for over a year by that point.
Well, after recent conversations, he told me he’s not ready and he just needs to be sure. Which is fair but when I asked if he knew for sure that it is me and he saw me as his forever he said “I think I can get there”. Punch to the gut. Thought he was already there.
So I told him that makes me really sad and I don’t know how I can be happy knowing that after this long and the promises we made getting back together that he isn’t sure about me. I told him I might be sad until he knew for sure and that at a certain point I might get tired of waiting and decide to leave. He said that’s unreasonable and unfair. I’m torn.
So I guess the question is, is it okay to feel sad about this? How long do I wait for him to be ready before I decide he’s taking too long? If I do wait for him to be ready, how do I handle the uncertainty of my partner not being sure about me when I’m so sure about him?
When we talk about it, he talks about all the other ways he is preparing for our future, we’re renovating a house together, we’ve talked about kids and he feels like that should be enough for right now but unfortunately for me, it’s not. I want the marriage, it’s one of my values and I’m hurt that he can’t even give me a timeline or confirm that it’s ever going to happen. He says uncertainty is just the nature of relationships. It just makes me so sad and he can’t see why. Idk…how do I handle this?
TL;DR: boyfriend has commitment issues, can’t give a timeline for proposal. How long do I wait?

Welcome to the Daily Discussion Thread

This thread is for casual conversation, anything that doesn't warrant it's own thread (repeated topics, surveys, polls etc) and off-topic content. It will only be lightly moderated - basically just don't abuse each other and you're good to go. It's a place for the community to connect and interact a little more freely, so play nice and respect your fellow community members.
If you have a newsworthy article or sub-relevant content please post it directly to the sub as a New Post.

Announcements

• New AMAs - Several New AMAs have been scheduled - check them out below
• Sub Discussion at MetaAusPol - Want to talk about the sub, new ideas, rules or direction? Head over to MetaAusPol

Upcoming AMAs

A big thanks to Bennelong, who is reaching out far and wide to bring some new AMAs to the sub. Please note that our AMAs will be heavily moderated to ensure rules are adhered to. We have MPs graciously putting their hands up for questions and don't need people unduly emboldened by anonymity to start breaking rules.
For a view of how MPs have voted on various issues please use They Vote For You. Please note that your research should not end there as many MPs vote along party lines whilst personally advocating internally for another position, but it can be a useful starting point.
​

• 22/04/2024 at 6:00 pm EST - Amy Remeikis (Political Journalist for The Guardian)

Completed AMAs

​

• Senator Malcolm Roberts (Pauline Hanson's One Nation) - AMA Link 23/02/2023
• Owen Miller (Fusion Party) - AMA Link 07/03/2023
• Senator Jordon Steele-John (Australian Greens) - AMA Link 15/03/2023
• James Mullan (Willoughby), Edmund McGrath (Lane Cove), Heather Armstrong (North Sydney) (NSW Greens) - AMA Link 22/03/2023
• Patrick Gorman, MP - Assistant Minister to the Prime Minister (Australian Labor Party) - AMA Link 28/03/2023
• Senator Fatima Payman (Australian Labor Party) - AMA Link 05/04/2023
• Senator Tammy Tyrrell (Jacqui Lambie Network) - AMA Link 13/04/2023
• Senator David Shoebridge (Australian Greens) - AMA Link 04/05/2023
• Kate Chaney, MP (Independent) - AMA Link 08/06/2023
• Belinda Jones (Independent candidate in Fadden by-election) - AMA Link 15/06/2023
• Suzette Luyken (Legalise Cannabis Australia candidate in Fadden by-election) - AMA Link 29/06/2023
• Max Chandler-Mather (Australian Greens) - AMA Link 31/08/2023
• Senator David Shoebridge (Australian Greens) - AMA Link 27/10/2023
• Dr Andrew Leigh, MP (Australian Labor Party) - AMA Link 01/02/2024
• Ed Carroll (Australian Progessives) - AMA Link 15/03/2024
• Max Chandler-Mather (Australian Greens) - AMA Link 20/03/2024
• Cr William Bourke (Treasurer and Founder of Sustainable Australia Party) - AMA Link 28/03/2024
• Senator Malcolm Roberts (Pauline Hanson's One Nation) - AMA Link 10/04/2024

​
​

Podcast

• ‘Talking AusPol’ Reddit Talk / Podcast - listen on your favourite major streaming platform

(I’m a lawyer, not in practice, not in Maryland)
TL;DR—if a divorce decree and a will conflict as to the disposition of personal property, does the divorce decree control?
My husband’s beloved uncle passed away on April 3 of this year. He lived in Maryland and has a house there. The whole rest of the family lives out of state.
Probate has not been opened yet.
Uncle has no living children and named my SIL as his executor. The original will was executed in 2018. Uncle’s EP attorney talked my SIL through the probate filing process and seemed reluctant to rep her; I am in the process of finding her some names (if you practice in Prince George’s County, I’ll pass on your info). SIL is dedicated to doing things above board, as you’d hope.
Uncle was divorced from Ex in 1991. The portion of the divorce decree that has been emailed to me states that personal property was divided to the parties’ satisfaction and that all the remaining property inside the marital residence belongs to Uncle, but that in the event he predeceases Ex, all of his personal property is hers (that is a wild thing to let a client agree to imo, but admittedly not my wheelhouse).
Uncle’s will states that the real property/home at his address goes to Ex, but that personal property and residual estate go to my husband and SIL evenly.
The home was conveyed in 1972 to Uncle and Ex, husband and wife as TBE.
We all live far away and have been unable to get up there because my MIL (Uncle’s sister) is very ill, and my SIL has kids in elementary school. We were planning on doing a preliminary sorting of Uncle’s personal property the weekend of June 1, which is Uncle’s celebration of life, with the aim of getting things cleaned out so Ex can take possession of the house as soon as she’s legally able. But if the divorce decree controls, I guess the whole kit and kaboodle need to be left untouched.
Additional complicating factor is that Ex has a certain sovereign citizen air to her. My SIL had to do some internet sleuthing to find Ex, who went no contact with most of Uncle’s family some years ago.
Ex must have gotten wind of Uncle’s death, because she called my SIL this week ranting about how that’s her house, it’s been in her family for generations (it hasn’t) and nobody will keep her from it. SIL saying “we just need your address for the probate so we can deed the house to you” was met with “I don’t need a piece of paper to get what’s mine.”
Ex lives in rural Virginia, we think. We know Ex tried to have the locks changed on the house while Uncle was still alive and physically present. The locksmith got done with the front door, and Uncle wore hearing aids and didn’t realize he was there until he started working on the back door. 😳
So, with the understanding that Ex is going to fight with SIL (no matter what) even though their goals are aligned, what document will likely control, so we can set expectations?

Played survivors:

• Matías Recalt (Roberto Canessa): He calls Dr. Canessa “Robert”. Although they don’t resemble each other physically (other than having big noses), they do have similar personalities. Matías could not cry on set, his emotions were kind of blocked (his father had passed away very recently), but Roberto says he was never able to cry in the mountains either. Matías is also headstrong and would sometimes do things his way instead of the way Bayona asked for him, which was very Canessa of him (1).
• Agustín Pardella (Fernando "Nando" Parrado): He calls Nando his favorite hero and feels that he has taught him a lot about resilience, and makes him want to become a better person (2). He considers Nando a friend, someone with a lot of emotions and warmth, which he had to block in the mountains. Rather that portraying the “superhero” that the media has often painted Nando as, he focused on getting to know him as a person and bring his humanity onscreen (3).
• Agustín Della Corte (Antonio "Tintín" Vizintín): He and Tintín had already met before, since Tintín used to be the president of the Uruguayan Rugby Union, and Della used to be part of the national rugby team (3). They hugged when they met for the movie for the first time (4). tThey met a lot of times, and he got very interested in what Tintín felt in each moment, the emotional details, which is exactly what the survivors wanted. Him being a rugby player helped a lot. Tintín feels that he was able to capture a lot of the essence of what he lived in the mountains. The first time Tintín watched the movie, he didn’t know how he felt about it, because it transported him to the mountains (2).
• Felipe "Pipe" G. Otaño (Carlos "Carlitos" Páez R.): His mother made him read The Society of the Snow when he was younger, so he was more familiar with the story that the average Argentinian. He guessed that he was playing Carlos Páez before the roles were revealed because of his age, physical traits, and what lines he they made him read. He not only Carlito’s book, but also the ones written by his parents. He also watched a lot of interviews with Carlitos (3). He went to Carlitos’ house and met his family. They texted a lot during the process of filming, and still text semi-regularly (2). He also relied on Pablo Vierci on set for details of his personality (3).
• Tomás Wolf (Gustavo Zerbino): He didn’t only get close to Gustavo, they had a barbecue together, and he always answered his questions (3). He also got close to Lupe Zerbino, a daughter. He played in a football (soccer) match, Zerbinos vs Canessas (Zerbinos won). Zerbino still shows him support in social media, even liking more political posts (5).
• Esteban "Kuku" Kukuriczka (Adolfo "Fito" Strauch): He read the book as soon as he got a clue of what the movie was about. At first, they talked at the hotel for around three hours, then he went to his home and met his family, they could empathize with each other (3). Fito and his wife recently went to watch one of Kuku’s theatre performances (2).
• Francisco Romero (Daniel Fernández): They talked a lot. The first time they met up alone, it was in a hotel. Daniel had a lot of love when talking to Fran. Fran feels like he would have played a similar role/made similar decisions in the mountains. According to Chori Segura, Daniel is physically a lot bigger than Fran irl (4). From Daniel, Fran takes away temperance, listening to others, being able to put the group first (3).
• Rafael Federman (Eduardo Strauch): When they met, Eduardo gave him his book as a gift. He would always answer Rafael’s questions (3). Eduardo always received him warmly (2). Rafael took the exit sign of the plane as a souvenir from set, same as Eduardo irl (5).
• Andy Pruss (Roy Harley): He got his information from the books and interviews. But also from talking to him, and how he sees himself in the mountains, 50 years later, what he did right and what he did wrong, specially about not being able to keep his emotions in check, which ended up affecting him a lot (3). Roy took him out in his car to see the places where he grew up, where he studied, his childhood house. Roy also went with Andy and his parents to the beach (2).
• Juan Ignacio "Juanicar" Carusso (Álvaro Mangino): Álvaro as a character had never existed in the other movies, so he felt a lot of responsibility playing him. Álvaro took him home and personally taught him how he used to crawl with a broken leg. He would always answer any question he had (3). Álvaro and Margarita also took some of their family to set, for the hospital scenes (2).
• Simón Hempe (José Luis "Coche" Inciarte): Once his participation got confirmed in the movie, he bought the Society of the Snow and another book about the event, on a whim. It ended up being Coche’s book (3). He feels like he bonded with Coche, since day 1, almost like a grandfather. He also got close to his family, specially his (now) widow, Soledad (2). His death was very hard on Simón (3). They talked a lot, at his house, by phone, on set. They got close enough that Simón could show up to the Inciarte household unannounced (2), and Coche called him his “favorite actor”(2). Coche personally coached him on set for the rescue scenes (told him to remember to smile) and in the hospital (him and Soledad still remembered very clearly how their reencounter was). Soledad says that the movie was something that gave Coche energy despite being ill, and that watching it made him proud. He once met some friends of Coche by chance, and they shared pictures and memories of him (3).
• Valentino Alonso (Alfredo "Pancho" Delgado): When they first met by themselves, they couldn’t look at each other in the eye. Pancho is still very affected by what happened, and Valentino wanted to transmit the emotions (including impotence for nor being able to convince Numa to eat enough to live) that he could still see in him, but also fears the movie broke him a bit too (2). According to ML Berch, his manners are similar to Pancho’s, also him being very good at talking while still being reserved (4). Pancho told him still considers Numa his life’s biggest friend (3).
• Esteban Bigliardi (Javier Methol): Javier had already passed away (2015) by the time the casting started (2021). He got his information from reading books, watching interviews. He got to know that Javier, despite having a hard life, had a very strong spirit, passion for life, compassion. He asked the survivors about him, and they would say that Javier was love (3).
• Rocco Posca (Ramón "Moncho" Sabella): For the last round of casting, they sent him a video of Moncho, and he says that he nurtured himself with it, he felt like Moncho (3). They became really close, and he talks to Moncho informally, as a friend, on Moncho’s insistence (2). They talk a lot on the phone (2). Rocco feels that they formed a kind of connection, that he got some of his energy. Their families stories are a bit similar (ie. Moncho helped his father in the fruit market stall, while Rocco’s uncles did the same on the other side of the river, in Argentina), and also he would get certain feelings or trains of thoughts while in character, that he would later discover were similar to Moncho’s own in the mountains (3).
• Luciano Chatton (Pedro Algorta): They met alone at least once in Punta del Este, in 2021. They walked together, and Pedro asked him if he had read his book. He had, but hadn’t finished. They ended up talking for about 4 hours. He doesn’t want to talk a lot about Pedro, because what he says may be different from reality. Pedro seems to still carry wonder and timidity from the mountains. (2)
• Agustín Berruti (Roberto "Bobby" Francois): He too is from Tacuarembó, part of the Uruguayan countryside. He went to Bobby’s house. Bobby said that he didn’t have any idea as to why they sent him there, because he wouldn’t be able to help him with anything. So they drank wine and talked about the countryside life instead (1)

Played Victims

• Enzo Vogrincic (Numa Turcatti): He didn’t get to meet Numa’s twin, Leonardo, as he passed away in 2009. But he did meet Daniel Turcatti, another brother, and his children. He was given a tour of the Turcatti’s childhood home, and Daniel would recall different anecdotes in each room. Numa would have absolutely hated being a protagonist. The survivors and Bayona say that he resembles Numa in the fact that he would constantly bring himself down for not being good enough (1)
• Fernando Contigiani (ArturoNogueira): After the dinner with the survivors, he was taken to the Nogueira’s house and had a big tea time with them (3). They also accompanied him during the whole process of the movie. Arturo’s siblings, Gabriel and Selina are very thankful towards him, say their family is open towards him, and think Arturo would have liked his work. Cristina, another sister, says he helped her close her mourning process. He was the first person Selina called after she watched the movie for the first time (2).
• Benjamín “Chori” Segura (Rafael "El Vasco” Echavarren): His biggest source of information were Rafael’s sisters, Daniel Fernández helped him a lot too, since he held a lot of love towards Vasco while in the mountains. He tried to see what all three sisters shared, because Rafael could have had those same things too (4). The first time he met the Echavarren sisters, they asked if he would be their brother, and he answered that he would try. They hugged and cried, they laughed and talked for hours. The sisters have both said that they love Chori and that having him is like having their brother back, somewhat (but that Rafael was more shameless) (2).
• Paula Baldini (Liliana Navarro): She was able to talk to a sister, a friend, and her daughters (3). The most emotional part of filming was meeting the Methols daughters in the airport, since she was dressed exactly as their last memory of her. They all cried, and thanked her a lot (5). Male Methol says that the movie helped her picture the mother she didn’t get to grow up with (1). The other children also say that the movie helped them close the cycle (3).
• Diego Vegezzi (Marcelo Pérez del Castillo): He says that he got a lot of who was Marcelo from the Society of the Snow book, and also from "Del Otro Lado de la Montaña", the book written by the families. He had the same role as an empathetic leader in his family, the team and in the mountains (3). When they first met him, the survivors gathered around him because he looked so alike Marcelo (6). Stella, sister, says that what she saw in the movie feels like the Marcelo she knew, that his death onscreen brought forward the feelings she had bottled up for 50 years, and that the movie remembered that the 16 that made it back did it so because of the 29 left behind (1).
• Blas Polidori (Gustavo "Coco" Nicolich): He relied a lot in Coco’s letters, since they have so much of his personality (3). He mostly talked with Álvaro, also nicknamed Coco, the younger brother. They met at his office, alongside an acting coach. They talked about what Gustavo’s essence was, their family, their parents, how them, as a family lived the tragedy. Álvaro tends to leave supportive comments on Blas Instagram from the Nicolich family business account, he says that Blas could bring Coco back in his last moments and was thankful for it, even if he saw him suffer (2). He also keeps contact with Álvaro´s daughter, Coco’s niece, Pauli (3).
• Emanuel Parga (Sgt. Carlos Roque): Roque’s family didn’t want to talk much with the production, because they were still angry and felt disrespected because of his portrayal in Alive (1993) (3). He got in contact with Alejandro, Roque’s son, and also people from the Air Force. The first time he met Alejandro, they couldn’t speak, but they cried and hugged, it felt like two friends meeting again after a long time. He promised that he would honour his father, bring his dignity back (2). Roque’s sister got in contact with Ema only after the release of the movie, and was both relieved and happy with it. She liked that they portrayed the love he had for his job (3).
• Felipe Ramusio (Diego Storm): He had played rugby as a kid. He got in contact with Diego’s brother, and also a family friend. The survivor that helped him the most was Carlitos (very close to Diego, even named one of his kids after him), who invited even him to his house. After the movie, the family contacted him again and congratulated him (3).
• Alfonsina Carrocio (Susana "Susy" Parrado): She mostly talked to Nando. He was very descriptive on how she was injured, what she could and could not do after the crash, how Liliana would take care of her (3).
• Santiago Vaca Narvaja (Daniel Maspons): He was welcomed to Daniel’s nephew’s house with tea and chocolate. He keeps contact with the Maspons sisters, specially with Rosario, the eldest. They showed him a lot of love. She thanked him for helping her understand what happened in the mountains. He does not resemble Maspons in personality, since Daniel was very shy and not very talkative, and had to learn to have a silent presence (3).
• Juandi Eirea (Juan Carlos Menéndez): He did play rugby for 15 years, which helped him with characterization. The Menéndez family didn’t take part in the movie production (3).
• Federico Aznárez (Enrique Platero): His father trained in the Old Christian’s gym as a kid, so he had always had a big connection to the story. He re-read the books after being cast. He got in contact with Roberto Canessa, before the casting even finished, and they talked for about 30 minutes in Dr. Canessa’s workplace (the hospital), mostly about how their life were before the crash. He phoned Roberto before the last round of casting, because the books had very little information about Enrique, and Canessa invited him home to practice his scenes, and also to talk a lot about Enrique and his family. Netflix wasn’t able to contact the Platero family, so Gustavo Zerbino did it instead. They had a barbecue with Enrique’s nephews and nieces, who knew very little about him, and Fede asked Zerbino a lot of questions, with some chime-ins from the Plateros (3). He later got in contact with Martín Zerbino (son), Juan Pablo Nicola (son of the Nicolas, who passed away in the crash) and, alongside Juani Eirea went to the Valley of Tears in February 2023, where they left letters for Enrique and Juan Carlos (2).
• Jerónimo Bosia (Franciso "Panchito" Abal): Netflix was not able to contact the Abal family, most of them had already passed away. After the movie release, a step sister sent Carlitos an audio message, which got to Jerónimo through Pipe Otaño, talking about how she could now understand that Pancho didn’t make it back so that some would be able to (3).
• Agustín Lain (Carlos Valeta): They told him that he resembles Valeta in his looks and his youth (3). It’s unclear who “they” are, if they were survivors, Vierci or Valeta relatives.
• Lautaro Bakir (Julio Martínez-Lamas): He got to meet the family while filming, which was something very impactful for him. He met a sister while filming at the airport, him in character with a beard. He got most of his information by what Pablo Vierci and Zerbino told him. He was not a rugby player, but was a big fan of the Old Christians and would always participate in the chants (3).
• Lucas Mascareña (Fernando “Flaco” Vázquez): He met Teresa Vázquez, a sister, and her family when they saw him characterized at the airport, and hugged him without saying anything. They recognized him, and could see both his eyes and facial expressions that he played Fernando. A friend of el Flaco says that Lucas’ acting brought him back (2). Fun fact, the actor is a commercial pilot.
• Federico Formento (Daniel Shaw): He was initially unable to contact the Shaw family, so he got bits and pieces from the books. He eventually met with Miguel Shaw, Daniel’s brother, after Pablo Vierci got him his contact, while they were filming the Uruguay scenes (3).
• Francisco Bereny (Felipe Maquirriaín): Sandra Maquirriaín (sister) was involved in the process of the movie (1). I could not find any interview with him.
• Toto Rovito (Alexis Hounié) and Julián Bedino (Guido Magri): Although they do have interviews, I could not find footage of him talking about whether he met the families of who they played, or if they talked with the survivors about them.
• Louta (Gastón Costemalle), Maximiliano de la Cruz (Lt. Col. Dante Lagurara): Although they have speaking roles, I could not find interviews with them talking about SOTS.
• Pablo ??? (Dr. Francisco Nicola): To Juan Pedro Nicola, son, seeing him acting at the airport was magic, like seeing them again (1).

Did not board the plane:
- Fran Burghi (Alfredo Cibilis): He couldn’t meet Alfredo due to schedule conflicts (3).
Sources:
1) Netflix: Who Were We on the Mountain?, Tom Holland interview + many shorter interviews with families, survivors and cast.
2) Actors and survivors' personal Instagram accounts.
3) Interview by Moobys (YouTube)
4) Interview by Fangirleando y Chismeando (YouTube)
5) Juanicar's livestreams
6) Society of the Snow book (newest edition)
EDIT: Added more links

I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years. Overall, our relationship has been wonderful. He’s my best friend and I can’t imagine not having him to carry me to harass me to brush my teeth when I’m half asleep in bed. However, he’s always had some commitment issues, stemming in my opinion from his parent’s divorce. I am the first person he has ever said I love you to and his second relationship overall.
His commitment issues have popped up here and there throughout the relationship. Never did I feel like he wasn’t committed to me, it was more like he was just always scared of taking the “next step” (moving in together for example). It was always something he had never really thought about and he would tell me that he just had to process it. It was genuinely like the idea of a relationship progressing had not occurred to him and once it was brought to him he would take what felt to me like an incredibly long time to figure out if he was ready for it. I first brought up living together after a year and a half together (he owned a house and I was renting) and he couldn’t really figure out if he was ready in time so I ended up signing another year lease before we moved in. Not a big deal, just an example of his processing speed.
We live together now in the house he owns and have been living together for over a year. We broke up briefly in the beginning of 2023 after a disagreement in finances but have since worked through it and things have been great. We got back together in March of 2023.
The issue is I brought up marriage and the future and I feel like the commitment issues are rearing their head again. I really value marriage (personal preference, you do you, I just want that) and he knows that. When we got back together I told him that things would move faster now because we had made this serious choice to get back together and commit to working through everything. He agreed. I asked about engagement in January of 2024 and made it pretty clear that I wanted that to happen in the next 6-7 months (so we would’ve been back together for over a year by that point.
Well, after recent conversations, he told me he’s not ready and he just needs to be sure. Which is fair but when I asked if he knew for sure that it is me and he saw me as his forever he said “I think I can get there”. Punch to the gut. Thought he was already there.
So I told him that makes me really sad and I don’t know how I can be happy knowing that after this long and the promises we made getting back together that he isn’t sure about me. I told him I might be sad until he knew for sure and that at a certain point I might get tired of waiting and decide to leave. He said that’s unreasonable and unfair. I’m torn.
So I guess the question is, is it okay to feel sad about this? How long do I wait for him to be ready before I decide he’s taking too long? If I do wait for him to be ready, how do I handle the uncertainty of my partner not being sure about me when I’m so sure about him?
When we talk about it, he talks about all the other ways he is preparing for our future, we’re renovating a house together, we’ve talked about kids and he feels like that should be enough for right now but unfortunately for me, it’s not. I want the marriage, it’s one of my values and I’m hurt that he can’t even give me a timeline or confirm that it’s ever going to happen. He says uncertainty is just the nature of relationships. It just makes me so sad and he can’t see why. Idk…how do I handle this?
TL;DR: boyfriend has commitment issues, can’t give a timeline for proposal. How long do I wait?

Hi I (34 M) am unhappily married to a woman since 2018 and who has cheated me 3 years ago I got proof of her Oyo receipt in same city for 2x deluxe room and upon further digging got aadhar of her and another of her office mate.I got to know this last month only. I am not sure if she is doing it now or not with him. But I want divorce now.
There were lots of fights where she wanted to live away from my home so we rented a room away. Here also she humiliated me but that's all gone, I cannot bear cheating.
Yes I got dowry around 6 lakh, bed, sofa set and a Tv. I am ready to pay everything back. She has govt job and I work at a private firm my salary being 3 times hers. Have also gifted her jewelry around 8 lakhs since marriage. No kids till now as she delays as she wants to wait for promotion.
I want to know :

1. Can I divorce her without bringing matter of adultery in picture as proof is 3 y old and proof is for one time only. Will my request be accepted or I need a cause like cruelty , adultery which I am afraid I cannot prove..
   
2. I am fine for alimony but will it be applied? Since she also works in govt job...
   
3. Will the jewelry that I gifted be taken as hers in streedhan... I dnt care of she has but yes It will help if I get it back as I m sure I'll be financially drained....
   

Tl;dr : Got cheated by my wife 3 years ago, got to know now, have no solid proof as it's 3 year old and for one time, she denied mutual divorce , Can I get divorce?

Met this guy on tinder and had wonderful 3 year relationship with him or so I thought. Our relationship was perfect for us at the time he was going through a divorce and I was divorced with kids. So the relationship was just about us spending time together and enjoying each other. We had a good mutual understanding . It was a multi racial relationship by the way. Didn’t take note of the little things, like his parents couldn’t know about me as they are Jehovah witness and he couldn’t be seen in public with me cause it would negatively affect his divorce case if his wife knows. We had different beliefs and cultures we didnt have much in common but we clicked we talked for hours and enjoyed each others company. Ignored the signs weed and alcohol abuse mood swings. He just woke up one day and said he doesn’t want to be with me anymore, he needs to be alone. Only to find he is dating a mentally unstable fat ugly chick that is his own race. He couldve just been honest and admit he left me for this chick as she would be best suited for his family. We had an ugly confrontation and it made me realise how mentally unstable and immature he is. That’s my tinder guy !
TL;DR