If you'd like to listen to me read this story click here.
“From Lieutenant Bren, UEF Shepherd
“To Captain Sassen, KCS Victory
“Captain, I continue to learn many things about the humans. Again, their sense of community is their strength. Their Shaa is strong, although they do not have a similar word and concept in their language, as I learned recently. I would like to continue this assignment beyond the previous estimated time. Please consider an extension, send to the council if necessary. I would also like to ask the council to review the request I have submitted to share some aspects of faster than light technology. Their current methodology is primitive, unstable, and, to a certain extent, dangerous. They are very close to discovering standard spacetime warping, and for that reason I don’t believe it will violate our technology sharing guidelines. Further details are in the formal request I submitted.
Bren paused, he knew protocols were against this request, but the humans were so close, he hoped the council would consider it. The council could make exceptions if he could show them that the humans demonstrated a non aggressive attitude. He remembered one more thing to add to his letter.
“Klaan philosophy regarding the deceased is an important part of our culture. While many are matter of fact about it, the rituals and sacraments have allowed us to function more efficiently as a society. I have learned about some human rituals, and their essence of Shaa. Two days ago we came across our thirteenth ship…”
Two Days ago
“Captain, the ship is on course, and seems to be functioning properly. However, the radiation emanating from the ship is at lethal levels. It’s highly unlikely anyone survived.” Captain Gardner looked at Commander Klein, taking a deep breath before speaking.
“Commander, prepare to scuttle the ship. Full honors. We don’t want to send a dirty bomb across space.” Commander Klein acknowledged the Captain, calling Bren over to his workstation.
“Bren, can you come look through this information?” Bren approached Klein’s station and looked over his shoulder. Klein pointed at the screen. “These readings, that seems to be the deceased passengers, correct?” Bren nodded then pointed at another reading. Klein agreed curiously. “That’s the one I don’t get. It looks like the life sign of a hibernating human, but it’s distorted.”
Gardner turned to Klein. “Is there a problem?”
Klein looked at Bren, then back to Gardner, “Sir, I think we’ll need to investigate, I can’t confirm that everyone is deceased.”
“How many people Mr. Klein?”
Klein and Bren conferred and Bren answered. “That’s the problem sir, we read 36 pods, most of which are non functioning.” Klein finished the thought.
“Most of the pods appear to be unused. The others are not allowing clear readings. Possibly due to the radiation?” They had encountered several ships with various levels of radiation exposure, likely due to a nearby nuclear blast. This one was the heaviest they had encountered. Klein continued. “This ship had to have gone right through an active explosion. The radiation is still intense.”
Gardner grimaced, while they had protections against radiation poisoning, it was tedious. Any items retrieved required scrubbing with radiation protocols. Patients needed extra medication beyond the standard inoculations, which protected against various types of radiation, mostly radiation found in space. But, they had to be sure. “OK commander, only you and one other, make it quick.” Bren volunteered himself.
“Captain, I am better protected against this type of radiation, I could join the Commander.”
Gardner thought a moment. “OK, just the two of you. Take every precaution.”
Markings on the side identified the ship as North Korean. That explained the radiation as a still unknown saboteur had detonated all of North Korea’s nuclear weapons at once. Sadly, the entire country was reduced to rubble. Although humanity had created effective radiation treatments, cleaning North Korea was taking longer, due to the massive amount of radiation released all at once. Some Koreans had survived, but North Korea, as a country, no longer existed. South Korea was now just Korea, having taken on refugees and stewardship over the cleanup. The reunification of Korea was a Pyrrhic resolution.
Bren and Klein entered the ship. Although it looked shoddily built, it was one of the few ships they had encountered that was fully functional. As they moved to the cargo area the problem became obvious. Crew members littered the area, some partially in their pods. The radiation had knocked them out before they could enter the pods. Bren scanned the area. “They are dead sir, it looks like 33 humans.”
Klein looked at them, some on the floor, some climbing into pods. He recalled the anomalous readings. “So there are three more pods?” Bren continued scanning, stepping carefully over the bodies.
“Commander, the readings on these hibernation pods is unusual, there appear to be several different metals in use, there is no consistency.” As they made their way into the depths of the cargo area they found three pods, hidden away behind stacks of cargo, still functioning. Bren approached them. He scanned, then turned to Klein excitedly.
“Sir, these three are alive, they are quite sick, but the pods appear to have shielded them enough to survive the radiation.” Klein stumbled into the area, looking at Bren’s scanner.
“If we wake them they won’t survive long.” Bren agreed. Klein pushed a button on the arm of his protective suit and called Gardner. “Sir, we have three survivors, They won’t survive long once they are brought out. We will need shielded gurneys to move them directly to the medical bay. Please send three patient pods and four rescue team members to facilitate the rescue.”
Bren and Klein checked their exposure time as they waited for the others to arrive.
Once the rescue team had arrived they cleared out the three crew members quickly, heading straight to the medical bay. Klein and Bren were ordered to undergo more extensive medical tests and spent the night there.
Early in the morning, Bren was explaining Klaan humor to Klein. Klein was not impressed. “So, simple mistakes are funny?”
Bren smiled, “Yes, inverting variables in a navigational equation can be quite satisfying.” Klein looked unsure as Bren added, “But the real humor comes in absurd endeavors, which can take several days or weeks to develop. The payoff is substantial.” Klein was about to speak when they were surprised to see one of the Koreans stir. He looked around, confused, and then startled to see Klein and an alien. Bren had accessed the Korean language program and spoke to him in perfect Korean.
“Do not be afraid. You are on an Earth ship, The Shepherd. Earth is a different world than when you left. I assure you, you are safe here.” The Korean calmed a bit, looking for his comrades. Bren continued, “I am sorry to tell you that only the three of you survived. You have extreme radiation sickness but medical advances have created effective treatments and you are all expected to recover.”
The Korean asked, “What happened?”
Bren turned to Klein, “He wants to know what happened.” They were interrupted by the arrival of Captain Gardner and an Ensign.
“Bren, this is Ensign Choi, she speaks Korean and will be the liaison for these men.” Choi immediately went to the Korean man and began talking. Bren watched as the man apparently learned that his country was gone. The look on his face touched Bren deeply. He appeared to be in physical pain upon hearing the news.
Gardner turned to Klein and Bren, “Are you cleared to resume duties?” Klein nodded and Gardner continued. “I had hoped to avoid a conflict but you may recall the previous rescue of the ship Justice 4.”
Klein grimaced. Just a day before finding the Korean ship they had rescued a ship that was clearly affiliated with the Justice Party. Although it was never confirmed, the Justice Party claimed responsibility for the three nuclear warheads that decimated Los Angeles to start the war.
The Freedom Party quickly formed in response, but since there were no geographical divides the initial stages of the war were particularly gruesome. Political strongholds of each party were destroyed by nuclear weapons, killing members of both parties, as well as the undeclared; more than half of the country that claimed no connection to either party. The complication was certainly due to the fact that a Freedom Party ship’s passengers were already on board. Gardner confirmed Klein’s assumption.
“We assigned quarters to the passengers of the ship, Justice 4, and initially there was no problem, until someone saw an insignia on someone’s shirt. The Justice group refused to be quartered on the same floor.”
Klein grimaced. “The Freedom passengers were on level three, right? Just move the Justice to two?” Gardner smiled.
“The Freedom passengers decided that they wanted to be above them, so they refused to stay on three if the Justice moved to two.”
Klein scoffed, “We’re in space, there is no above and below, we may be sideways now for all we know.” Gardner agreed and as the three men entered the passenger common area, the leaders of each group swarmed them.
As multiple men chattered and made demands at once Gardner raised his hand and finally got them to calm down. “We came across a heavily irradiated ship and we want to allow the surviving crew to be involved in the Honor ceremony when we scuttle the ship. They are in the medical bay. We could be here for a few days depending on their recovery time. That means you all can’t stay here in this room. You will need to accept room assignments.”
The men all began shouting again when Bren stepped forward, raising both hands which, somehow, stopped everyone immediately. Bren spoke.
“Captain, I may have a solution.” Gardner looked hopeful.
“Go ahead Lieutenant.”
Bren lowered his hands. “My people have a method for solving disputes that goes back several thousand years. It is specifically designed for this sort of post war dispute.”
Everyone was rapt as Bren continued. He smiled and stuck his arms out to the side, palms up. He spoke loudly in a commanding voice, “Feats of Strength!” As he said ‘strength’ he raised his arms over his head and clasped his hands together. Shaking them with a determined grimace. The men pumped up their chests and murmured agreement. Gardner looked at Bren curiously. “Feats of Strength?”
Bren nodded, “Yes, although that is rarely the form it takes. We stopped fighting to the death centuries ago.” The men seemed a little less enthused.
Gardner asked, “What does this entail?”
Bren smiled, “We choose a contest, and since it is a test of strength, we add,” he paused, searching for the correct word, “complications, as we go.” He looked around, and sensing no objections, continued. “I would suggest… bowling!”
Gardner and Klein stifled laughs as Bren looked each group straight on and asked, “Are you prepared to compete for your pride?” Hesitantly each group agreed. Bren went on, “I will administer the contest, the rules are simple, I can add any difficulties I choose.”
The leader of one group looked at Bren, confused, “Difficulty?”
Bren nodded, “For example, we could start by bowling with the non dominant hand. Perhaps with eyes closed, or while… singing.” As the men started to take Bren less seriously he puffed up and seemed to get taller. “You have accepted the challenge, do you agree to go forward?” The men looked at each other, unsure, but finally nodded and started to get excited.
Bren stated one more rule, “The final outcome is that the winners will be allowed to choose their quarters,” the men nodded and mumbled until Bren cut them off, “But the winners must also host the defeated team to a feast in their home.” He looked around and felt he had everyone’s attention. “There is no human term for this, but the Klaan call it Shaa. It is the knowledge that everyone on the planet is connected. In our case, on this ship. We are all part of one physical organism, collectively called the Shaa-a-ren.”
The men looked around, slightly less excited but committed to the contest. Bren stood straight, and addressed the room. “Each team will choose four champions. The contest will start in sixteen hours. Spread the word, in the original Feats of Strength great crowds cheered on their warriors.”
With that the groups of passengers separated into huddles, deciding on their champions. Gardner turned to Bren. “Feats of Strength? Shaa-a-ren?” Bren looked at Klein and the Captain.
“Yes sir, the rules are adaptable, but Shaa is a sacred concept to the Klaan. I assure you, this method of conflict resolution has an excellent record on Klaan.” Klein and Gardner shared a curious look, when Bren noted excitedly, “We will need to prepare the bowling lanes for an audience. The crowd is a critical part of this event! Captain?”
Gardner shrugged, “Commander Klein, let the crew know that they are invited to a Klaan Feats of Strength event.” Klein shook his head as he walked toward the bridge to deliver the invitation.
In the medical bay Gardner, Klein, and Choi spoke to the three Korean men. Gardner had offered them several option for disposal of the irradiated ship. Choi translated for the Captain. “They said they are not overly concerned with the ship’s disposal. They only ask to be able to watch as it’s done.” One man, who identified himself as Colonel Han spoke. “Captain, we do believe you when you say things are different. We also hope you understand that the official stance of our country,” he paused, as the country no longer existed, “The stance is one of no religion. However, there is a thread of Buddhism among us, and a prayer service to commemorate the men who did not survive is kindly requested before the ship is scuttled.”
Gardner nodded and asked Choi if she could make arrangements. Colonel Han spoke again. “Captain, is it possible to finish in time for the contest? Your Mr. Bren extended a personal invitation.”
Gardner was surprised, but agreed.
The next day Choi, Han, Gardner and the other Korean men stood on the bridge, watching a large monitor. The Shepherd had shut down the ship’s engines and shined lights on the ship. Choi had arranged the prayer ceremony, and the three men seemed at peace with the situation. Gardner looked at Colonel Han, who looked at his companions and nodded to the Captain.
“Commander Klein, you may proceed.” Klein stood, as did the rest of the crew. Captain Gardner spoke. “It is with great respect that we send these 33 passengers and their ship to space. This ship served them well, and now all will be committed to the great expanse.”
Klein blew a military whistle and launched two missiles. The missiles flew directly to their target, detonating and turning the ship to dust, to scatter among the backdrop of the stars. Gardner spoke again.
“Your lives will be remembered as your final destination has been reached. Godspeed.” He saluted and the crew followed his salute. The Korean men somberly saluted. The crew held their salute until Choi had ushered the Koreans off the bridge. The crew resumed their duties silently for a moment until Gardner spoke once again.
“If you have arranged to go to the Feats of Strength event, you are relieved, once the skeleton crew is in place.” A few crew members entered to man the bridge as several others headed to Bren’s event.
Bren quieted the crowd. Klein was surprised at the turnout. The crew of both ships sat intermingled with Shepherd crew. Choi ushered in the Koreans, stoic, but seemingly looking forward to the distraction the contest would provide. Chairs, benches, and cargo containers had been constructed into makeshift bleachers, and they were packed. Food and beverages had been prepared and in general, it was a festive atmosphere. Bren entered the center of the space and raised his hands, facing his palms out, and turning in a circle.
“My friends, you have accepted me into your ship and crew and I am grateful. It is with that gratitude that I happily share the Klaan tradition of… FEATS OF STRENGTH!” The crowd cheered and Gardner looked around, wondering if he should have assigned security for the event.
Bren lowered his hands and the crowd silenced. He spoke again in a low voice. “Shaa is a Klaan belief that we are all connected. That the people assembled here are all part of one single living organism. We are all a part of Shaa-a-ren. We are each other. We are one. We are Shaa.”
He smiled and waited as the crowd seemingly held its breath. Then he clasped his hands over his head and shouted, “LET THE GAMES BEGIN!” The crowd roared as the eight men prepared to bowl. Bren explained the rules. “The standard rules of bowling and scoring apply. The automated system will keep score. I will add rules as we go. The first additional rule is that all bowlers are required to throw the ball with both hands. Team Justice won the random generated decision to go first. Proceed.”
As expected, bowling with both hands was awkward, and the bowlers threw gutterballs and generally left a lot of pins standing. No one was bowling well, but the men were laughing at each other anyway. After two frames Bren stood and spoke. “Time for a new rule! You must bowl with your non-dominant hand!” The bowlers grunted and grimaced. Bren was excited, the concept of a dominant hand was new to him. Human brains fascinated him and when he learned of right or left handedness he had spent hours asking people to use their non-dominant hand for daily tasks.
The teams bowled slightly better than before, but neither team was lighting up the scoreboards. Only one strike had been thrown, and truthfully, it was a mistake. Something went wonky with the magnetic system and changed the ball’s trajectory.
The crowd was cheering when a bowler knocked down three or four pins, and the teams were getting irritated, so Bren changed it up again. “Starting now, you must do two complete turns before throwing the ball.”
As the bowlers made themselves dizzy, the crowd’s excitement escalated. The bowlers had begun cheering each other on, regardless of which team they were on. The difficulties Bren was introducing made the two teams bond over the challenges. The crowd was eating it up. Even the Korean men were enjoying the show. Finally they reached the final round. Team Justice was up by seven points, it was anybody’s game.
Bren stood and called for quiet. “I would like to thank you all for joining us tonight. I hope you have felt the Shaa. You are all part of the Shaa-a-ren here on the Shepherd. Even as you go on to other ships or planets, this connection is now a part of you all.” Bren looked at the Koreans and bowed deeply, speaking in Korean. “You have lost much, your crew, your country, perhaps family. However, today you have gained Shaa and we are happy to have you here in this Shaa-a-ren.” He bowed again and the Korean men bowed deeply back to him. Bren turned to the crowd.
“For the final round, we have the ultimate test. Each team will switch lanes and complete the other team’s final score. However! A gutterball counts as a strike, so you cannot intentionally throw the game. You can choose to bowl with both hands, or your non-dominant hand.”
The teams switched lanes and began, with Team Justice putting up several points for Team Freedom. By the time they reached the last ball the game was tied. The men looked at each other, then conferred. They nodded and each stepped up to the lane, carefully throwing simultaneous - and very intentional - gutterballs. Bren raised his hands, quite pleased with himself.
“The game has ended in a tie!” He called the teams to him. “It seems that the outcome has not solved our problem. How would you like to choose the winning team?” Bren smiled, fairly certain he knew the answer.
The captain of Team Justice spoke. “We will both stay on deck three.”
The captain of Team Freedom joined him. “And we would like to host all of you for a feast on deck three tomorrow!”
The crowd erupted in cheers. Captain Gardner spied Bren speaking with the Korean men, they seemed to be thanking him. Choi moved to the Captain. “Bren knew exactly what to say to them. This Shaa business really made a difference.” Gardner smiled and watched as the men walked to the food and beverage stations and joined in the celebration. Gardner went to Bren, who was now talking to Klein.
“Lieutenant Bren, I must commend you. Your Feats of Strength and Shaa-a-ren was an unqualified success.”
Bren smiled. “Captain, Shaa is a very trusted solution to many problems.” He held his hands out, palms up and fingers sticking up. “We are all digits on the same hand. Once the men started to bond over their shared experience they began to feel the depth of connection. Shaa-a-ren connects us all, sometimes you just need to reach out and feel it.” Klein nodded, holding out his hands as Bren had done. Bren smiled again. “Commander, you have now experienced Klaan humor, in its long form. How often did you laugh as the men dizzied themselves and fell, or threw bad balls, left difficult splits, or danced with their opponents?”
Klein looked at Bren curiously. “You did this all just to…” He looked at the Captain in shock and finished the thought. “… To tell me a joke?”
Bren smiled, “It was a happy coincidence. Shaa-a-ren is very real, as is Klaan humor.” He hummed a tune as he walked away. Klein and Gardner looked at each other, questioning what had actually taken place tonight. Gardner shook his head as he patted Klein on the back, blending into the celebration.
“It doesn’t matter Mr. Klein, it worked.”

I am not the OOP. The OOP is u/MentalPlatypus5193 posting in amiwrong
Concluded as per OOP
1 update - Medium
Thanks to u/colorsofautomn for finding this BORU
Original - 28th April 2024
Update1 - 10th May 2024
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1 New Update
Update2 - - 18th May 2024
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My son [19M] filed harassment charges against me and my husband because we were making him go to college
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Me and my son moved to US last year. I was a single mom for 16 yrs before I met and then married my husband. I saved up money so he can go to college. Where I came from, college is very important. We moved to a small town and my son found new friends. These friends in my opinion were not a good influence. I am used to polite and academically oriented kids back home. These new friends of his make fun of his books and his plans of going to college.
Before his HS graduation, me and my husband took him to several unis in the state so he could get a feel for which one he would like to go to. Then after he graduated from HS, I told him I have about $20k saved up for college. He said it is not going to fit because tuition is pretty expensive nowadays. I suggested he can just go to a community college 20 mins away and live at home to save money. He agreed and I gave him access to the fund (joint account).
Long story short, he did not enroll himself and instead started partying a lot and used the money on expensive dates with his gf. He moved out and stopped talking to me. I worked hard to save that up for more than a decade and I am upset that he wasted it in less than a year. Me and my husband went to his place and asked that he pay me back since it is specifically for college and not "fun money".
He called the police and filed harassment charges. I told the police to review the cctv footage because the whole time I was talking to him through his ring cam, I was calm and reasonable and my husband was just standing behind me not saying anything. I was outside the door talking, he never even opened the door to talk to me face to face. The police said there's nothing he can do if my son and his gf felt "harassed", he can file a restraining order if he wants to.
Back home, this is unforgivable to treat your parent like this. But here in US, I was treated almost like a criminal. My sister in law said it is my fault for confronting him and that the money is his to spend since I made him a joint account owner. Am I wrong?
Edit: People cursing me because I said something about wanting to throw my chancla on my son's face, to be clear I have never laid my hands or my flip flops on him ever. But after what he did, my intrusive thoughts wants me to throw it but of course I won't. If he called the cops on me just because I want to talk to him, what more if I threw my flip flops on his face??
His relationship with me before moving to US was fine. He knew my struggle as a single mom and he always try to help me around the house. I was not strict at all he was free to go out with friends anytime. He was even thrilled to have a father figure and my husband always try to make him feel included in everything.
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Comments
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ManufacturerAny835
Lesson learned never give someone access to money unless you’re ok with them running away with it

OOP: He was a good boy before moving here. I thought he knew my struggles and how much I sacrificed to save money. I just thought he would never betray me like this.

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dingdongsbtchs
Honestly I think a lot of parents don’t realize the depth of their children and forget that just because you think of them as one way doesn’t mean they don’t have other layers that can make them a different person. Sadly your son has found some less than savory friends to surround himself with and now he has to live with the decision he made. I honestly wouldn’t offer help for university again and would leave communication up to him. Also has there been any questions or discussion of potential drug use??
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2workigo
The money is gone. And since he was a joint account holder and a legal adult, there’s nothing to be done except refuse to help him financially anymore. Let him figure it out on his own from now on. The friends he had will likely drift away now that he no longer has a fat bank account to fund their party lifestyle.
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Treacle_Moon
Her biggest fault is waiting till it was all gone to do something about it. She had joint access. She could have stepped in long before now and tried to deal with it. Too little too late unfortunately.
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Update - 12 days later
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I still have not heard from my son and I don't expect him to reach out. But his gf's mother has called me asking if my house is still open to him. I asked her why, it turns out he hasn't paid his share of the last month's rent and his gf had to pay it for him.
I said it is not my problem and he is not welcome anymore in my house since he is an adult. The gf's mom said "what kind of mother would not extend help to his teenage son?". She further insulted me and said now she knows why he left me.
At this point I really don't care anymore. I tried to help him get a good start in life but he wasted it. Aside from the $20k, he lived rent free in the house, free food, free phone, car, gas money, and I pay all the utility bills and his health insurance. All I asked is that he focus on his studies. Finish at least an associate's degree so he can get a decent job and be fully independent from me asap.
For some who asked why college is so important to me, as an immigrant, we are held under certain standards. We have to prove to USCIS that we will not become a public charge -- meaning we won't rely on any government aid. I want him to be able to be a good immigrant and become productive. I don't even know if he can become a citizen if he makes below poverty income. I was just trying to make sure he gets to live a good life.
Some of you asked if he even wanted go to to college. Back when we were in our home country, he begged me to pls send him to college no matter what.
P.S. The harassment charge was closed for lack of evidence of harassment, a lot of what he said were lies.
Edit: Another thing that gave me chills was when he moved out it was the middle of the night and me and my husband were both asleep. My son left the front door hanging open (I saw it in the camera). We live in a small town but there's a lot of crime in our area, someone could have gone in and done something bad.
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Comments
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bluedreamer62
Some people just have to learn the hard way, his gf probably had a good time with him spending his college fund now 5hat it’s gone the fun is over. So comes the reality.
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PoliteCanadian2
So you’re saying this is the Find Out stage that follows the Fuck Around stage?
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Sharp_Mathematician6
Yep
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SnooWords4839
His GF's mom has no right to bitch you out. Your son left, spend his college fund and now has to figure out how to adult. You do not owe him anything at this point.
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ladyalcove
She's just calling her out because she's realizing that now she has to take care of this bum.
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butterfly-garden
Yup. She, too, is in the Find Out stage.
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** New Update*\*
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Update 2 - 8 days later
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His girlfriend's mom called me again today and basically handed the phone to my son to "sort it out between us". I let him just talk and tell me what is on his mind. Here's a summary of his point of view:

• He felt like I deprived him of a lot of things growing up. I couldn't buy him an Xbox/playstation, iphone, or anything a teenager wants when we were in our home country. I can't afford it. Back then I was making $1k a month and saving 20% of it for his college fund and whatever was left was for us to live on. I was helping my parents too with some groceries so money was really really tight. When I look back now, I don't know how I made it all fit.
• He felt so small because his clothes were hand me downs from cousins or just cheap clothes I bought from tianguis.
• He said I was not supportive unlike his friend's parents. Some of his friends have wealthy parents who bought their sons a house and never had to go to college or think about their future because they will inherit the family farm anyway. I have no generational wealth to be that supportive. I wish I have.
• He said I have so much house rules. Yes I do. I want him to wash his plates after eating (I used to do it for him), clean his room and keep it tidy, make sure the windows are tightly shut in winter, keep the thermostat at 68 during winter to save electricity, come home at 11pm or else the house will be double locked from the inside for my safety (because my husband drives a truck and not home at night most the time). I also told him before that since he has a part time job, he can't use my credit card for anything but emergency anymore, but he still used it sometimes anyway (card's been frozen since he moved out).
• I asked him why file charges when I only wanted some explanation from him. He said he don't want to inconvenience his gf and filing charges is the easiest way to get me to stop trying to talk to him.

So basically he felt deprived as a kid and that he thinks he was just healing his inner child when he spent the money. He said his friends told him I owe that to him for bringing him to this world. He thinks that I should not have a child if I can't afford these things.
I asked him why he left the door open that night. He went silent for a few seconds then said "I just thought that if the house get robbed, I could just say I cashed the money from the bank and the robbers must have found it". Unbelievable.
At this point I was so emotional and I was a crying mess. I told him I am deeply sorry that I was his mom and that he had to grow up feeling deprived because I was poor. Then he said "Oh stop with your guilt tripping, you are saying that to make me feel bad.
Oh and he also said he hates it when I do this. I don't yell like that lady but I pretty much bug him to get up and help me set the table. I never get a response so I had to raise my voice higher. He said I was so rude. But he grew up with this. This is me being me. All moms back home do this. Al of a sudden he is comparing me to his mom's friends. In our culture we want food to be eaten while it is fresh from the stove. I spent 1 hr cooking after a long day at work, the least you can do is help me set the table and eat my food while it's nice and warm.
I hung up. My heart is broken in so much pieces. Am I wrong?
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Comments
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Whitewitchie
He has a chip on both shoulders. Leave him be. It's despicable he left the door open so you were vulnerable to burglars. Absolutely no consideration for your safety at all.
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Mtndrums
Dude's a spoiled brat, and an idiot to not see his "friends" were using him. You need to cut him off and let him figure things out.
dublos
Not spoiled. Mom could not spoil him.
Entitled.
This child believes he's entitled to the same things his friends grew up with, even though his parents provided the best they could provide.
u/MentalPlatypus5193 your son has made his bed. Let him sleep in it.
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I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP. Please remember the No Brigading Rule and to be civil in the comments

A friend is going through a divorce case at the moment and the lawyer failed her in a serious way by missing many points there was evidence against the partner and several other points.
From the history we know of this ladies case there is no way the result should have gone the way it did.
Curious on experiences with reporting the lawyer for one, but also options they have to find a new lawyer through legal aid.
This was an abusive situation for many years and the guy planned it out.
I googled the law firm and several reviews from their customers complaining of poor representation.

We made an offline booking because of our travel plan to check in around 9AM but We reached early by 7AM .initially there was a guy who said that it will take 1/2 hr to clean room and post will get a room. so, We have been waiting assuming that will get a room . After 40min when I went back, manager lady saying that I will give by 9AM only. eventhough she saw us waiting for 1/2hr. When I asked back about this she is saying "I didn't ask you wait" and though she claming that as a manger but her words are no where decent And not looking at us when we are talking.
Though Im still at the heat of the moment . What else as customer can do for these bad experience apart from giving review for the hotels ?

I never thought I’d see myself writing on this forum or at least I hope I wouldn’t have to. My name is Miriam Jackson and I’m looking for a friend. Her name is Jocelyn Willard and I haven’t received anything from her for over a month.
Jocelyn went to Jonesborough, Tennessee for an investigative story on Reverend Somber.
I have only 6 files she sent me while on this trip, as I sometimes help her with editing and filing notes. Hopefully, they can help give the person who’s reading this the information necessary to help find her.
Jocelyn is a freelance journalist, who delved into journalism as she sees it as “the beacon of truth” Her newest fixation was televangelism. I know… I know in this day and age who's watching cable but that to Jocelyn is what made it more interesting.
Especially when she stumbled across Reverend Somber, unlike his name Reverend Sombers is charismatic ( as most in televangelism are) and speaks with such a feverish devotion you’d think you’re hearing the voice of God speak through him. He can often be found preaching on CTN at around 2 A.M. In his words `` Jesus had not come to talk to the righteous but to those who know they are sinners, and at this time sweetheart only sinners are watching.”
What caused Jocylen to want to investigate Somber’s I don’t know.

File#1: Gas Station _Towns People_Sombers Letter.Doc

I’m about a little less than a mile out on the outskirts of Jonesborough. I make a stop at the only gas station I’ve seen since leaving Route 321 about 30 minutes ago.
As I get out of my car I take in the sun something I don’t get enough of in Seattle. The gas station still has the reminiscence of different decades passed; with its paint chipped around the brick exposing its rustic hues and the sign tilted “Whitmens Gas Station Est.1910”.
I open the door causing a bell to ring,
“Hello, what can I help you with today darlin’,” said the lady behind the counter. She seemed about 60 years old her hair not yet fully gray and her face showing the emotions she’s worn over the years.
“ Hi, I just want to fill up my tank, I’m parked at pump 1,” I said.
“Well alright, what got you coming to these parts?”
“Oh, I’m writing on Reverend Sombers I’m supposed to go follow him as he goes live tonight for CTN”
“Ain’t that a treat, I swear when I hear him preach on Sundays it’s like the Lord is speaking through him,” she said in such a way you’d think she’d seen Heaven in that man's eyes.
“Well isn’t that something…How long has he been preaching for?” I ask as I pick at the hangnail on my finger. The admiration she had for the Reverend made me uneasy but I’d figured she’d know some background on him. Oddly she didn’t.
“Oh, He came around 3 years ago, it seemed like he just popped up at the church now that I think about it, The town was nothing like the peace it is now, Sombers brought this town into prosperity I tell ya.”Her brows furrowed as though she just realized something.
“I almost forgot to tell Earl to put the gas in ya car, go wait out there I’ll go tell him.”
Taking this as my queue that the interview is over I walk over to my car and wait inside for the man to arrive. A tap on my passenger-side window snaps me out of my daydreaming.
“I filled your gas up, Ruth told me you’ve been askin bout Reverend Sombers said you’d be writin on him.” Earl said.
“Yeah, do you have anything you’d like to share?” I shift in my seat as I take in Earl. He seems a bit younger than Ruth, his hands caked with oil stains and his shirt spotting the same look. A small towel lays on his shoulder. He leans into my passenger-side window before he answers
“I ain’t too fond of him don’t tell Ruth now she’d be madder than a wet hen I tell ya.” he coughs and laughs
“What are you not fond of?” Interested in figuring out what Earl knows that Ruth doesn’t
“I don’t speak too much on him don’t want him comin round here, you best be goin now ya tank is full. Have a good stay now ma’am” He smiled his teeth showing a testament to years of tobacco use.
I smile meekly back and wave bye as I head into town. Left with more questions I know I’ve not made a dumb decision by investigating Somber.
The town is picturesque many of it still having the structures from the 1800s it’s the oldest town in Tennessee after all. As I drive through town I take in the families walking and neighbors saying hi to each other. Almost too cookie-cutter.
I parked my car in front of Jonesborough Bed and Breakfast a quaint Victorian-era cottage. The overgrown bushes cover the majority of the white picket fence. A homey cottage and a hot meal sounds great right about now. I enter and am warmly greeted by the B&B owner.
“Hi, I’m Mary-Ann you must be Jocylen only person we have booked to stay for so long.”
“Yes, that would be me. I’m wondering if you could recommend a place for lunch. I'm quite hungry.” I put a hand to my stomach. I should've grabbed a snack at the gas station I thought.
“There’s the local diner just up the street, Your room is the first door on the right upstairs. It’s the Reverend's favorite. He thought you’d like it… that reminds me Reverend Somber will be having dinner with you today and said he’d want to speak with ya before you go follow him around. He left a lil welcome basket for ya upstairs,” she said
I thanked her then made my way to my room wondering what he’d left for me.
The room has a king-sized canopy bed in the middle with a white- Linen curtain draped on top. Stands out from the rest of the room, The canopy is supported by twisted columns and the back wall of the bed is structured architecturally containing a niche with a shell decoration and four more smaller twisted columns surrounded by leaf decorations. The deep walnut wood of the bed is a contrast to the faded yellow stained floral wallpaper and average closet in the corner of the room. The bed was foreign to this room, I just knew it.
I look at the welcome basket on the bed filled with fruit, wine, a letter, and oddly finger cots. The letter stated the following
Dear, Miss Willard
Thank you for your interest in my humble serving of the lord. I’d like to take ya to dinner at The Black Olive to better acquaint ourselves before you shadow me today. I hope the finger cots give you rest from your constant finger picking what a painful nervous tick to have for the past 20 years. Grace and peace to you in the name of Jesus Christ.
Sincerely,
Reverend Somber
I felt the sweat dripping from the back of my neck and my hands shaking as I folded the letter back up. All I can think is
who the fuck is Reverand Sombers.

I love, LOVE this bag and I'm sad to let her go but she has never seen the light of day. Hopefully, someone will get to give her the attention that she needs!

• Photos (including PSP, and POP)
• Price Purchased: $407 (2650 CNY + 280 CNY shipping)
• Price Selling: $400 plus shipping. I will give you shipping based on your location.
• PPGS fees paid by seller.
• Condition: Brand new. Never worn. I took off the packaging for pictures but will put it back on.
• Included: Dust bag and all paperwork. Crossbody and shoulder strap.
• Seller: Reykay, Angel Factory
• Link to Auth
• Reason for Selling: I need to fund other purchases.
• Review: This is a beautiful piece. I have handled the authentic one in store many times and love this one so much. I honestly won't feel bad if it doesn't sell. The leather is soft and smells divine. The charms are well done. No scratches or any wear since it hasn't left my closet.
• Dimensions: 22 cm small size.
• Sale is final. Please do your own QC. By purchasing, you acknowledge that this bag is replica, not authentic. I will provide tracking to the buyer. I am not responsible for the item after tracking appears in the system. Buyer accepts responsibility for the item. Please make sure your name and shipping address are correct as well.
• I am active in other communities. Please ask me for additional feedback if needed since I participate in multiple groups.

I just got to the end and beat the last boss. Credits rolled and then the game crashed. I got every character except Diykstra and the four that would require me to play minigames for hours - and of course Leene.
There's a lot I liked about Eiyuden: the classic Suiko "gotta catch em all" vibe, the feeling of bringing people of different backgrounds together to work towards a common goal, the sprite art, and Michiko Naruke's soundtrack.
But...
Too many things are broken. The loading screens are long and frequent, the pacing is bad, the minigames are bad, the duels and war battles are barely-interactive-cutscenes. The lore is not at all fleshed out, there are way too many places important to the story that you never get to see (Kenan???). They didn't balance many of the combat systems. There is too much of that weird "mobile game" aesthetic (such as in monster design, minigames, etc) which I found very unpleasant. Completing the castle is tedious. Menus take too long to load and flip through. The game crashes, crashes, crashes. The story is low-stakes and written (seemingly) for children, which would be fine except that this is a game specifically made for people in their 30's and older. For example, when Perielle died I felt nothing. The writing, while at times funny and charming, was mostly embarrassingly milquetoast, especially the writing for NPCs and side characters. Lastly, and this is more major than it sounds: the beeping noise that plays every time you make a selection in any menu or advance dialogue is grating and constant. In general, the fun I had with this game was interrupted by way too much, excuse my French, dumb shit.
All in all my review is: A bad game.
I will take your downvotes now lol.
Edit: another thing that bothered me is how much of the important story events - e.g. Euchrisse getting conquered and later liberated, recruiting the elves to the cause, Norristar being liberated, etc etc happen offscreen. The number of missed opportunities is staggering, especially when you think about all the dumb shit they did manage to include - like the big titty undead lady? what was that side story even about? did anyone care about that?

I can't believe how many blue jerseys and generally dull kits there are! This got me thinking about which countries are doing this right, and so I want to know what y'all think. (I will make an official ballot for the Olympics, but why not start with current kits?!)
What are your favorite jerseys/kits and which one do you think is the worst?
For me, Spain and Belgium stand out as unique with colors that pop. As for fit, Japan's kit always looks so well made that I really want to own one, particularly the ladies' tops. And Great Britain is by far the most awful. Those sleeveless shirts with no contour in the shoulders and the most unmemorable of navy blues! Oof.

Hey!
I come from a weird angle. I've been a minimalist for a while; I have way less anxiety with less belongings & don't overspend if I know exactly what I own and what it's used for. I am also (slowly) renovating a van as a tiny home. I've been homeless before so no matter how far I get from going back I'm happiest when I'm prepared. I'm also single, no children & dangerously unmedicated (joking).
With that out of the way -> I've always used these 6 heavy duty storage boxes to store my life. Most are currently empty! https://imgur.com/a/VzDJqtE
I've got a LINK much older version of this bag & I've been easily running my life from it for the past two weeks - without decanting or any other weight reduction or space reduction strategies. I'm confident my life will condense into 25-40L (Plus those boxes can store seasonal clothing, cookware & stuff that wouldn't volumetrically work in a bag).
Meditating; (drinking copious amounts of coffee and reading reviews) has got me thinking genuinely - I could go leaner. I'd like to incorporate sink washing & a capsule wardrobe whilst living from a bag prior so I'm further acclimatised to living in a vehicle.
Another bag I have been eyeing off is the GoRuck GR2 -> This think genuinely looks gorgeous. I'm confident it won't fit the kind of laptop (I game a lot) I'm looking at transitioning to (Razer blade 14 or similar, 16.5+). It's also cost prohibitive but I'm open to being convinced. I really liked the orange interior of the Synik 30L and another laptop protected bag I saw recently here but I didn't save a link. The high contrast interior helps cause i'm colourblind & can loose stuff that's right in front of my eyes.
I also spotted this whilst grabbing bin bags from Amazon. I swear they listen in on my discord conversations - LINK. Mark Ryder, seems like an import special - It's super affordable & expandable for when I need to hit the gym for a shower, but I worry about the longevity. It's also missing the insertable frame; I personally hate the floppiness of an unfilled bag. I'd like something that retains it's shape when not filled. I don't have the on ground experience here - The Hook&Albert I use for work trips is canvas and flops around unless packed up. This is another reason I haven't splashed out for a Tom Binh
I'd rather something slightly more expensive with reliability and resistance to damage - I'd be using this bag every day. I'm expecting to have a different storage location for my day to day clothing - I work in sales so majority is WFH (or WFV) but I will still need my suits & oodie for the foreseeable future. This would probably contain the all gear no idea merino wool clothing for when I have to actually leave the van looking like a human.

• 16.5+ sized laptop storage
• Daily use living from the bag for extended periods of time
• open to suggestions regarding organization - I go with the flow I can purchase more individual zippered containers or use installed tech
• High Vis interior would be cool
• Water resistant would be very cool
• Size is flexible as I'm not intending on traveling on a plane in the next 10Y but I'll also just adjust wardrobe to fit ongoing. 30L seems ideal but could go 25-40? Rules are Rules (3-4 shirts, 2 shorts, 1 longs, 5 Briefs, 2p Sockies) *Oodie to be worn :)* (Toiletries:28*9*14cm/11*3.5*5.5inch with Tbrush/Floss/Roll on/Ear Tools/One blade/Drugs) (Laptop, Charger, Mouse, Ipad mini + cable + cable for phone) (Phone, wallet, Keys) (Vitamins: fit into 8.94 x 2.3 x 1.16 inches)

If you have any suggestions on a bag that might fit these requirements or any opinion at all - please share! I've reached that 20/80 rule or whatever and need to rope in assistance.

Right off the bat, seeing a counter go down from 2024 to 1990 made me think there's some kind of flashback at play. Given the reverence the devs have for the past and the fact literal first second of the game is spent in 2024 (on a technicality), maybe we play across multiple characters and eras at some point? It could just be a nice visual gimmick telling the player the game takes place in 1990 but given the stellar reviews, Im expecting everything to have some kind of hidden purpose insttead of just being a gimmick.
And to follow up on that, Mara is very insistent she is Mara Forest and I better really remember that she is Mara Forest, Special Agent. Me thinks the lady dost insist too much! Given what I said before, I'm sure you know what Im already guessing about her identity.
First screen- a small, run down employee parking lot with an abandoned car covered in debris, some chain link around me and some trash bags sitting around. This screen gave me some time to figure out things, like I had no clue I could move the camera at first, thought it was like RE with tank controls and static images. A few screens later I'd look around while running down a straightaway and realize "Omg thats right, I can see this area in full 3D, it's not static. Oh cool look at the back of this thing! Oooo memos on the walls!" The notion I could look around for tons of info and puzzle? Loved it.
But Im getting ahead of myself. FIrst screen. Unlimited ammo in the trunk? You bet I started trying to shoot out car windows and objects. Nothing broke, I was sad. Welp, reload, lets go to the next screen. (There are some things to find here, so search around)
Ticket booth comment- lol.
I was asked if I want to pick stuff up and I quickly got the notion I should NOT pick up many items yet bc the ammo may be scarce, the car is loaded.
My assumption is I can keep reloading at the car early on to save ammo until the car gets compromised, then Ill be wanting all the ammo around the early areas of the park.
The moving mushrooms, staff memos and fog are all appropriately creepy as are the occasional spots of blood and an empty backpack. I skip the first area I can go into because I havent finished running all the way down this alley and I- oop, there's a guy. I had a small and a large med kit, you get the small one buddeh and you be grateful for it.
Later on I find out large med kits have antidotes and this guy also complains in my car about not feeling well. Uh oh. I think I was supposed to give him a large kit to stop him from monsterizing. I try shooting him through my window multiple times...Ok I tried shooting him in the dick when he was on the ground, too. Sue me, Im a 90s kid. BTW slight error, I hadnt aactually encountered any monsters yet but she tells the reporter she ran into a monster and it hurt her. I notice blood on her back, too. Now I DID step on a bear trap earlier so maybe having any damage triggers her to say that line? Or maybe she says it no matter what bc the devs assume I'd go forward and find trouble before heading all the way back to the car to check on this dude? Or did something happen to her before the game starts? Guess Ill find out.
I make note of the MULTITUDE of key holes, potential puzzles, codes on the floor, etc and finally encounter my first enemies in the hall. I get the distinct vibe they're reluctant to hurt me. If I put just a minor amount of distance, they stop chasing. Unless I shoot them, then they come after me. After I go down the hall, save at the fireplace and exit, I let one attack me. It's just a push and then he sounds kind of broken up about it as I lie there dead. The fact I could still spin the camera while dead had me excited there'd be something unique that'd happen but after a minute I restarted. At this point, my veteran survival horror game instincts were like "yea, just run around these dudes, dont waste ammo"
I found a few more nice areas like the excavation site and saw something about Roots being disturbed by the excavation company. Very shady. between that, gold in a trunk and a book about the gold rush, Im expecting greed gone horribly wrong, releasing something like in Ghosts of Mars. But why are there so many humans contaminated? I get the feeling the park was closed and no one was there. It doesn't sound like there was a horrible publicized accident. Maybe they're the excavators? Doubt it. And then I find a mega skeleton man. By luck I got him stuck on a metal pipe near the crow, so I could pick easy close range headshots. Stilllll took forever, tons of wasted ammo. And he was super easy to avoid AND he dropped nothing. At that point I decided to restart, avoid grabbing most items and ammo and go from there.
Throughout, there is a great atmosphere of claustrophobic tension. Nothing revolutionary, about the vibe, just a great, well done vibe, exactly what it needs to be. Gameplay-wise, some real good QOL enhancements like full 3D camera movement and the ability to move my aim up down, left right, diagonal, etc? Great. Found some environmental stuff to shoot eventually, INCLUDIING key puzzle spots. Missed my PS1 aesthetics.
Im dying to uncover the mystery of whats going on, why fake Mara...I mean Mara is here, why she's dying to meet Mr. Crow, what this monster outbreak is, etc.
Life gets in the way so Idk if Ill continue these write ups but I figured fans of the game might enjoy reading a breakdown and recap from the perspective of fresh eyes.
Peace!

UPDATE photos in comments - will add more tomorrow
——————————
Just wanted to say thank you to every quilter here!
I have always loved quilting as an art form and appreciate what you all do SO much
Although I can sew, quilting is such a precision skill and takes far more time to complete a project than what I’m used to (easy dresses/quick-fix tailoring) so Im not going to learn it myself anytime soon - that, coupled with being an overly-frugal person, I gave up on ever having a lovely handmade quilt of my own.
Recently I purchased 4 quilts at an estate sale all handmade by a lady who recently passed away and am even more enamored… I am eternally grateful to the beautiful crafter who took YEARS to make some of these in her spare time during retirement.
They all have stains from bleeding but regardless… they are exquisite and masterfully crafted. I’m glad the surviving family members kept any unmarred ones and didn’t sell them. Her skill-level was truly heirloom quality.
One in particular has become my most treasured possession. It’s just… gorgeous.
I joked with my husband that now we have to make a baby so we have someone to pass it to!
Please, please if you are able to… stitch your name/year(s) made/location into the quilts so whoever loves these later knows who to thank!!
The woman who made them started my favorite quilt when she was 66, after quilting for only 3 years, and completed it at age 73. She passed away this year at the age of 83.
She was a math and science teacher named Jonaquine. I didn’t know her but I will never forget her.
None of the required Flair tags matched so here is my Product Review:
Jamestown BOM quilt pattern from 2006ish is great… in the hands of a skilled artist.
Anyway. Just thank you so much, Jonaquine, and thank all of you for quilting.

2024-191 / MLZ MAP: 75.64 / Zedd MAP: 32.00 / Score Gap: 43.64
Wikipedia / IMDb / Official Trailer / Our Collection
IMDb Summary: The Brothers Grimm arrive at the home of a wealthy Grande Dame who speaks of the many legends surrounding the fable of the cinder girl before telling the "true" story of her ancestor.
Starring stars Drew Barrymore, Anjelica Huston, Dougray Scott, Jeanne Moreau, Megan Dodds, Melanie Lynskey, Patrick Godfrey, Lee Ingleby, Richard O'Brien, Timothy West, and Judy Parfitt.
This title was one of the films picked up on the pawn shop run and the disc was not playable. I was a little disappointed as I had wanted to watch it and Zedd being the sweetie that he is suggested that we pick it up. I grabbed it from the Disney Movie Club super cheap. I needed a bit of a pick up last night and Zedd popped this in for me.
Having never seen it, but being a lifelong fan of Drew Barrymore (stupid recent decisions notwithstanding) I was eager to see her as a version of Cinderella. Anjelica Houston being our wicked stepmother also sounded so fun. No idea who Dougray Scott was…
The story actually starts out good, with The Brothers Grimm being re-educated by an older noble lady, one who happens to have a set of glass slippers. But, from there, it slips.
Zedd is a huge fan of the MAP’ping right after watching plan and I do it, so we can discuss the film and its ups and downs after scoring. But I admit, sometimes I wish I had waited. The score is the score, though.
What I will tell you though, is that my score will be lower next time. Not as low as Zedd’s, I don’t think. But lower.
Why? Honestly, because of his opinions making me look at it through different eyes. When I read this out loud to him, he said “Oh I get that too sometimes.” He was right, the accents were awful! Why does Danielle have a half British accent anyway? They are in France! In fact, most of the accents were bad, or did not fit.
It also fell rather flat. I was not in love with a 10+ year older Dougray Scott as the Prince. Drew did ok at showing her feelings, but I saw that strongest at the end.
I have a complaint against myself, my friends, in that I did not realize that the gross old Monsieur Pierre Le Pieu was Richard O’Brien. I love him!
Also, the scene when the Prince is about to marry the Spanish Princess, her crying, if I could never hear that again, it would be way, way, way, too soon!
I give Drew all my love here, and as you can see, my score was right-on for a standard “enjoyable” movie. But when I compare it to Ella Enchanted, there is just no comparison.
2024-192 / MLZ MAP: 86.52 / Zedd MAP: 53.35 / Score Gap: 33.17
Wikipedia?wprov=sfti1) / IMDb / Official Trailer / Our Collection
IMDb Summary: Ella is under a spell to be constantly obedient, a fact she must hide from her new stepfamily in order to protect the prince of the land, her friend for whom she's falling.
Starring Anne Hathaway, Hugh Dancy, Cary Elwes, Steve Coogan, Eric Idle, Aidan McArdle, Jimi Mistry, Minnie Driver, Vivica A. Fox, Heidi Klum, and Parminder Nagra.
We happened upon this film when Little Miss Zedd was a kiddo and it was watched often. ((In the background “Way too often”)). I would say that Zedd may just have had more than his share of Ella. ((In the background, “Way, way, more than my share.”). He does appreciate the music, even though they are covers, they are still good songs.
I really, really, like this film, and found the twist of Ella’s “gift” to be a fresh take on an old story. Of course, Miss Hathaway is just as pretty as all get-out. Minnie Driver has been on my good list since forever herself. I also very much love Parminder Nagra, and have from the first time I saw her act. And then yeah, the music! It’s a musical!
Ella’s journey to return that “gift” that did not fit certainly rings true for everyone. She is just trying to find her way along. She has struggles, friends that help her along, and it has a happy ending.
This, my friends, is a proper fairy tale. All the better to Movie On with, my pretties!

Sionia
Chapter 14
Map First Previous
“Lord Wyatt, you are needed” Called Lars that shook me out of my fascinating reading about dragon neuts.
“Yes.” I said as I pulled back the curtain.
“The city guard requests to speak with you. They are restricting entrance to Avalon given the latest attack by Mardor at Black Gate of Rowan.” Lars explained with a salute and chest bump
With a sigh, I handed my book to Gus and exited the carriage and was very impressed with the massive three story gatehouse and huge stone block readouts connected on each side. I was met by a forty something looking man of average build with black hair and dark eyes flanked by six fully fitted out soldiers.
“I am Rhys Redith captain of the guard here in Avalon. You must be Count Ryan Wyatt.” Rhys introduced himself with the question.
“Yes, I am Ryan Wyatt.” I responded with a frown and knotted brow.
“We have been expecting your arrival. The king has ordered us to assist you and provide hospitality. I am to escort you to the fortress and the rest of your party to Duggan's inn.” Said Rhys with a salute and formal bow.
“That will not do! I have several wards under my care which several are nobility.” I objected to the plan given.
“I was not aware. I will of course take you to the fortress where Lady Ludmilla will address your concerns.” Replied Rhys with a salute and bow then motioned for me to follow.
“Follow him, Jace .” I said to my new driver and climbed into the carriage.
The bridge over the north side of the Paradise River to the island of Avalon was very long at around a quarter mile or so. The readouts of the gatehouse extended a good ways into the river which had several firing positions. I suspected that the river rose and fell with a possible rainy and dry season which was why the readouts could prevent an army from getting behind the gatehouse or access to the bridge from land. The island side gatehouse was flush with the city walls and protruded into the river was equally as impressive with a descent sized recessed portico and draw bridge porch extension.
Thinking back to my travels through Europe, I decided Avalon looked like the city of East Looe, Cornwall in England but not as topographically elevated and with more renaissance style architecture than back on earth. The Roman style arched bridge was very much what we just rode across. The fortress of Avalon itself was at the highest point which was off to the left on the far east side of the island and most up stream point on the islands.
The Fortress keep was decent but still half the size of Duke Boasag's Buanna. I realized that the reason for putting my servants at an inn was because of the lack of space. However, I was determined to stay with my wards no matter the violation of etiquette it might cause. As my carriage pulled up to the entrance with the fortress that had both iron gates and metal reinforced wooden doors that were a good six feet wide and twelve feet tall each. These doors were set into no less than a three foot thick wall.
Passing through the gate was a small bricked paved courtyard that was about forty to fifty feet wide in a more or less oval shape. I saw a host of servants and two well dressed ladies waiting at the main doors to the fortress's central keep.
“Lord Wyatt, welcome to Avalon. I am Viscountess Ludmilla Skafhoggr and this is my mother Baroness Grogda Wode.” Stated a quiet plump pretty faced brown haired woman in a gaudy yellow with purple accented dress with unicorns all over it and a matching unicorn hat whose horn protruded a good foot from her forehead.
“Yes, it is a very deep pleasure to meet you as well.” Stated Lady Grogda a good looking woman who seemed to be in her mid to late thirties with black hair and unusual olive colored eyes. Her lite brown dress was quiet plain compared to her daughter's which was kind of comical in their contrast.
“The pleasure is mine for sure in meeting you ladies.” I said pouring it on a bit thick with a formal bow and sweep of my arm.
“I do not understand. Why are all your people with you?” Lady Ludmilla asked looking toward Captain Rhys but speaking to me.
“I have many wards under my protection. Thus, it is impossible to leave them alone without my presence as there are many who would try and take advantage of helpless young girls.” I stated but that failed miserably when Freya and the other three Asgardians approached fully armed with their swords.
“I would hardly call them helpless!” Spat Lady Grogda with a bit of contempt as the Asgardians were better looking than her.
“Despite appearances, they need my protection. After all, I am their guardian as I freed them from captivity.” I responded with a bit of admonishment in my voice.
“Yes, we have heard the tale. You are quiet the knight in shinning armor.” Lady Ludmilla said with obvious sarcasm.
“It is what it is. The wards will be with me wherever I am. If that is at an inn or camping on the side of the road, so bit it.” I stated with irritation.
“Do not be silly. We can host your wards and personal attendant. However, we must insist that the rest stay in the inn over there.” Lady Ludmilla said pointing to a three story building that was about fifty yards away.
“That is closer than expected. However, I accept. My people can stay at the inn while you host me and my wards.” I stated with another formal bow.
“Good, now come and we will see to your comfort.” Lady Ludmilla said with a bit of a laugh with Lady Grogda giving a small laugh and a wicked grin.
I immediately turned to Lars, Razor and Meowth and ordered that they maintain a watch on the carts and carriage around the clock as I did not want any lapse where someone would try to take advantage. I called to the wolf kin brothers to continue to protect the girls inside the fortress. Pointing to Lars, I told him to take our prisoner Andros to the adventure's guild office and turn him over and letting them know he was caught trying to steal from me. Tell them I will see them on morrow to see if Andros was telling the truth or just lying. Turning with a smile and motioned to Freya and the girls to follow me with Gus right behind me.
The inside of the fortress was decently furnished though it had more of the appearance of a military outpost than a holding of wealth as it looked quiet spartan. I was led to an upper chamber where Lady Grogda had already ordered a bath filled by the time we had arrived.
“I will see to you personally” Lady Grogda stated with that same wicked grin again.
I suddenly felt as though I was a piece of meat put on display before a hungry wolf. I steeled myself to not recoil as I just felt off with this lady.
“See to your master's baggage.” Lady Grogda ordered Gus who was surprised by the command.
Gus gave me a slight shaking of his head and left the chamber. Lady Grogda then proceeded to strip me with efficiency. Once I was naked, she suddenly took her time looking at my nakedness. She even traced my scars on my back with a click of her tongue. Walking over to the tub, I climbed in and sat down.
“Spoil sport” Said Lady Grogda as she grabbed a wash cloth.
“Do not get my wounds wet.” I said warning Lady Groda of what the doctor had told me.
“Why? Your wound is almost well healed. The stitches can be pulled out except here” Stated Grogda and tapped me on my left shoulder blade.
“I have been using a special salve from the high elves. I did not realize it was healing that fast. However, I was warned that getting my wound wet would effect my healing.” I repeated what Doctor Zalzwarth told me.
“Very well.” Groda conceded.
Lady Grogda began washing me where she was absolutely taking her time. It was obvious that she was deliberately feeling me up for her own pleasure. When she grasped my manhood. I stood up and said, “The water is cold and I am tired and hungry!”
“Humph” Pouted Lady Grogda her displeasure but began to rinse me.
Just as I was stepping out of the tub, Gus entered slightly out of breath as he had run to get my clothes with Lukas my footman helping. I sighed with relief as Gus helped me don my dressing gown.
“Old Maude will be here momentarily to apply your salve.” Gus said with a salute.
“Very good.” I replied to Gus then turned to Lady Grogda and said, “I was told you are a Dowager Baroness. Is that not so?” I blatantly asked appearing as innocent as I could.
“I will see you at the dinner bell hour.” Lady Groda said with a sort of half wave salute and stormed out of the chamber in a huff.
“Thank you, Gus. I actually thought I would have to literally fight to save my personal honor.” I remarked with a laugh.
“It was my pleasure, Lord Wyatt.” Gus responded and joined me in laughing.
Old Maude came about twenty minutes later and applied my salve and chatted about how excited she was to be in Avalon and wanting to visit one of the apothecary shops. I gave her permission but have one of the guards accompany her.
About an hour later and I was fully shaven and dressed, I heard a large bell ringing from a bell tower not far away from my chamber. With that, I headed down to the great hall that was just off the main entrance way. I was met by Lady Ludmilla who escorted me to Viscount Skafhoggr chair where she seated herself to my left. Lady Grogda appeared wearing a new pink dress and seated herself to my right. The one missing was the Viscount.
“Where is Lord Skafhoggr?” I asked Lady Ludmilla with a raised eyebrow.
“He is meeting with one of the military commanders. I believe they are deciding on how large a levy they must raise to battle the bastards of Mardor.” Replied Lady Ludmilla as she clapped her hands for servants to begin serving the evening meal.
Four exhausting hours later, I was back in my chamber with my nerves completely shot. The constant fawning and mindless chatter from Lady Ludmilla as well as the constant groping from Lady Grogda under the table had stained me to the max. I was ready for bed and was glad to sink into the lavender scented sheets. Gus grabbed a thin pallet and two blankets. Blowing out the candles he stepped into the hallway closing the door behind him. He would sleep outside my door as custom demands while traveling.
A little over a half an hour later after Gus left, the door opened and closed quickly. I could not see in the darkness but relaxed when Freya spoke softly and slipped into bed with me. Freya did her magic on me as she mounted me taking me to new heights of pleasure. I quickly forgot all about the overly eager pursuit of the Dowager Baroness as I shared the pleasures of being with Freya. After we had sated ourselves completely, we slept peacefully in a loving embrace.
The morning came with a knock on my door that woke both Freya and I. I moaned but Freya nudged me on the chin.
“Time to wake you lazy bones.” Freya said with a laugh.
“I am not a morning person.” I said with a groan.
“Don't I know it! You were quiet the beast were you not?” Freya teased then laughed at me.
The knock on the door was more instant as I rose and put on my dressing gown. Opening the door slightly was Gus and the Dowager Baroness.
“It is early, what is it?” I asked.
“We have prepared a very special meal for you this morning.” Said Lady Grogda with a frown while she tried to look around me into the chamber.
“I see. Well, give me some time to properly dress and I will be down shortly.” I stated and continued to Gus “Have Lukas bring my shaving kit.”
“Right away, Lord Wyatt.” Gus said as he motioned down the hall where I assumed Lukas was.
About forty five minutes later and having snuck Freya out of my chamber, I was fully shaved and dressed in my dark red outfit and black beret hat that actually looked really good on me. Upon entering the great hall, I saw Lady Ludmilla seated. Lady Grogda taking me by the arm led me again to the Viscount's chair where she seated herself next to me.
“Where is Lord Skafhoggr, Lady Ludmilla?” I asked her directly.
Lady Ludmilla was quiet for a moment then said, “I guess he is sleeping. The meetings with the military commanders drag on for hours and hours. I hardly ever see him these days.” Lady Ludmilla said with a shrug of her shoulders.
“Is that so. Very well as it can not be helped. Please send my regards to Lord Skafhoggr for his hospitality. I was informed that the king would have a messages for me that Lord Skafhoggr was to give me. Could you ask Lord Skafhoggr for them?” I asked as I suspected something was just not right.
“Oh. Ah. I will of course ask my Lord Vincent for the king's message once morning meal is finished.” Lady Ludmilla said and looked discombobulated.
“I see. Please do so. The king ordered me to arrive in Camelot immediately. I can not dally and spend extra time as I normally would do. I hope you understand.” I said making extra emphasis on the king's order part.
“Yes. What the king commands we all must obey.” Lady Ludmilla said sourly but not looking at me.
Lady Ludmilla then clapped her hands and the servants brought in the morning meal. What surprised me was my meal was different from everyone else. Looking at both Lady Ludmilla and Lady Grogda something in the back on my head screamed warning warning.
The silver plate before me was a type of stew with a strong overpowering spice scent. I frowned and began to think hard and fast.
“This is a specialty from the High Valley region. I hope you like it.” Lady Grogda said with no expression at all.
My alarm bells went off even stronger this time. A footman came over to fill my cup which I deliberately knocked over and profusely apologized for my clumsiness.
“You know, I am from the High Valley region too. I have never been a fan of overly spiced foods. Lets see how spicy it is.” I stated and took a scoop with a spoon and handed it to the footman to taste.
The footman was surprised but more than happy to taste the food as it was obvious that food for the staff was very plain and simple.
“You should not do that! It is not right!” Lady Grogda said as she stood up showing more alarm than outrage.
The footman had already consumed the sample where he at first looked like he liked it. However, he suddenly started to choke as his face turned bright red and falling to his knees. Lady Ludmilla stood up in horror as the footman was gagging begging for water. I handed him my silver chalice with what I assumed was apple cider where he chugged it down then begged for more.
Finally, after three more cups of water given by another footman, first footman just lay on his back almost in a stupor. It was as if his mind was blank.
“What is this?” I asked as I pointed to my meal looking at both Lady Ludmilla and Lady Grogda.
“I do not know!” Said Lady Ludmilla looking at her mother with a strange look.
“Do not give me that! What did you do?” I demanded with a my voiced raised and now pointing my finger at them.
“It was a love potion. It was to make you like me.” Said Lady Grogda meekly and looking sheepishly at the ground.
“Seriously! That was more than a simple love potion!” I yelled my outrage.
“I swear that is all it was. I had to hide its not so pleasant taste with spice.” Lady Grogda stated her defense but still not able to look me in the eye.
“Lady Ludmilla, I must now ask that you bring me the king's message as I am now leaving Avalon.” I commanded with rage in my countenance.
Lady Ludmilla fled the great hall without replying. Lady Grogda just sat down with her head down looking at the floor saying nothing.
With exasperation, I called out to my people. “House of Wyatt, Ladies and girls we are leaving! Quickly gather your things and be out front within a little span!”
With that, I stormed out of the great hall to the shock of all present. Up in the guest chamber, I changed clothes into my bluejeans, a blue shirt and a tan leather vest. Pulling on my boots and strapping on my weapons belt, I looked over seeing Gus and Lukas already packed up my discarded clothing and was ready to leave as they were staying clear of my angry outbursts.
Down at the carts, I ordered my guards to ready themselves to leave. I sent Lukas to call all the servants in the inn to be ready to leave immediately. Razor and Meowth jumped down from their perch on the first two carriages with questioning looks.
“They tried to poison me! Can you believe it?” I said angrily as I swept my arm to point at the fortress.
“Meow Lord Wyatt, that is clawful. Do you want meow to use them like a scratching post?” Asked Meowth as her tail went straight in what I assumed was either surprise or anger.
Razor just gave a low grumbling growl with teeth bared as he looked at the fortress.
Forty minutes later as my people were loading up, Lady Ludmilla approached with her head down.
“I am sorry Lord Wyatt. It seems you do not have any messages from the king.” Lady Ludmilla said never once looking me in the eye.
“I see. Send a message to the king that I left Avalon today and as commanded traveling as quickly as I can. The king is expecting my update so make sure it is properly sent!” I said with a warning.
I ordered a florse saddled for I needed fresh air as I was still furious. I actually led our people out and toward the main north south road which Nick panicked a bit and settled with riding next to me. As we approached the main crossroads of the city, I saw a large dinning hall and ordered a halt for all of our people to have breakfast. The meal consisted of roasted mutton, eggs, apple pancakes and apple jam. They also had fresh chilled milk and apple cider which really went well with the sweet dishes. Our group apparently cleaned them out and they had to turn away a few customers until mid day.
After breakfast, I went to the adventurer's guild that was a few buildings to the south. It was a four story building of decent size. I allowed Old Maude with a one of the house guards to go to the apothecary shop across the road along with the two Alphardian servants Aura and Sylvia. Inside the adventurer's guild, I asked for Marine as instructed. It was then I learned that Marine was Zack Talley's girl where they were to marry soon as she proudly let me know her good news.
“Zack said to tell you this is a level one escort. Whatever that means.” I repeated what Zack had told me to say.
“Thank you. It simply means Zack thinks there would be no problems and just being present is enough to discourage any potential thieves. The total is two hundred fifty denari for basic escort with an A ranked adventurer.” Marine said with a smile
After paying the fee for the job request, I asked Marine to speak to someone about Andros that was brought in by man guard Lars.
“I am Supervisor Etan Borg and assistant to Guild Master Henry Stewart. It is a pleasure to be at your service Count Wyatt.” Stated Etan with a salute and bow.
“Pleasure is mine.” I replied with a salute and nod of my head.
“We have investigated Andros. His party the Finders of Avalon specialize in retrieving lost items or stolen goods from thieves. It appears his party was specifically requested to recover a lost ventu volpis. We do not have any more details for the job other than this.” Etan stated as he read from a page in his hand.
“Who hired them to steal from me? Make no mistake, they were hired to steal from me!” I said as I was showing my anger and frustration.
“Normally, we would not disclose who posted job requests to those not apart of the contract. However, given the circumstances, I was instructed to tell you it was Viscountess Lady Ludmilla. It seems she contracted and paid a merchant from Xanadu for a ventu volpis. It is our understanding that merchant was placed on a Quenya trade ship where he will go on trial for his many crimes in Svarta. The Finders of Avalon should not have tried to take your ventu volpis. Nor should they have taken on the job given the crimes of the merchant without more information.” Etan explained what the guild knew.
“What will happen to Andros?” I asked frankly.
“The Guild Master will hold a hearing with S and an A ranked members who will advise on the issues. I expect he will be found guilty but will escape the ten year punishment. More like one to two years of labor for the guild doing low ranked jobs that no one wants while being supervised by myself or a C ranked or higher adventurer. His pay will be one third of normal with the rest going to repay the guild and costs associated with his lapse in judgment.” Etan replied with a shrug of his shoulders.
“I see. The thing that irks me is they attacked my people and wounded one of my guards with a slinger's stone.” I explained my outrage.
“I was not aware of this fact. Master Stewart will compensate you as the law requires. Unfortunately, Master Stewart left for Camelot for meetings with the war counsel on Astria's response to the Empire's latest invasion. I will send a filoxis to let Master Stewart know that there was injury, offense and honor requirements. I understand you will be traveling to Camelot and am certain Master Stewart will seek you out to give you a formal apology and see you are properly compensated.” Etan stated with a salute and bow.
“Good enough. Let me know the outcome of the hearing for Andros. I do not like loose ends and a potential enemy looking for revenge.” I said mater of factually.
“Understood. I will relay your concerns to Master Stewart. Etan replied with another salute and bow.
Leaving the adventure's guild, I decided to visit the tradesman's guild and merchant's storefront while Old Maude was still busy across the street. The girls came with me as they had been requesting things like combs, brushes and scented oils plus a few other special feminine items they needed.
Once all the girls got what they were needing and getting those items stowed with their baggage, Old Maude came back with a small crate filled with items to make medicines. While the baggage was being loaded and sorted, I went to see the information broker's desk and inquired about Chamberlain Robert Duffy. I paid the requested fee of one erythro given his status in the city. I was shown a file which listed the qualities, character and known habits of Robert. There was a section about vices and food preferences. The only vice was seeing a woman who was a widow listed as a paid mistress. Basically, Robert was a straight as an arrow honorable man. I smiled as the report made me feel better about who I was helping.
Finally, with everyone loaded up, we headed out of the city of Avalon over the southern main bridge and gate that was just like the north one but slightly longer with a guard tower protected draw bridge section to let ships pass. After about two hours, I had calmed down enough that I rode in the carriage as was expected of a person of rank. I just looked out seeing nothing but the vast wheat fields of the Capital Region realizing how lucky I had been to escape the evils of the ladies of Fortress Avalon.

I’ve always been large chested. As I’ve gotten older, they have only gotten larger and more difficult to deal with. I’ve wanted a breast reduction for quite some time now and recently brought it up with my family doctor. She said based on my size I would qualify for a breast reduction for medical reasons and encouraged me to call some local offices (she said I did not require a referral but would write a letter on my behalf to help my case if needed). The first office I called initially sounded promising as the surgeon there is well known in my area and has gotten good reviews for people I know. Once I gave them my insurance info to make an appointment, I get a call back after booking the consultation from the lady in charge of billing/insurance at the office. She proceeds to tell me that my insurance is accepted but the type of program my card is under is not one they generally accept - they only will bill is it’s for urgent medical needs such as for a breast cancer patient. I told her that I wasn’t pursuing the surgery for aesthetic purposes and it was in fact for medical reasons (but obviously not as urgent as a breast cancer case) but she said the office wouldn’t/“couldn’t” do it. I’m bummed, but didn’t want to give up just yet. I call another office in my area who has a different surgeon (also great reviews but none from anyone I personally knew) and leave a message to inquire about a consultation. I get a call back and I am told they don’t bill insurance and are cash only.
At this point I don’t know if I have any other options. I feel like I’ve hit a wall.. Has anyone run into this issue before with their insurance? Are more dr’s going cash only?
For reference, I am 5’ 3” and am currently a 36-38DDD. At my thinnest weight of 100 lbs, I was still a 32DD. I mention my size at my thinnest because I’ve had people tell me that I just need to lose weight, but that won’t solve the problem as I’ve been large chested from an early age. Genetics also play a roll as my mother was also large chested and passed away from breast cancer at a young age. Her mother also passed away fairly young from cancer (I’m not sure what kind), making me a third generation for potential cancer risk. Any help/advice is appreciated. Or words of encouragement if you are also going through something similar.

LTLFTP. So, I work at a pretty well-known discount retail corporation. Don't probe further, I'm not interested in being doxxed, so if you all keep trying, I'll just start reporting to the mods.
Yesterday, I was shopping at our sister-not-sister supermarket after my shift so I still had my uniform on. Halfway down the Dairy/Frozen aisle I hear one lady whisper to her husband that she'll ask one of the gentlemen (glancing at me as she does) about where a product is. When she does turn around and ask "Excuse me, do you know-", I cut her off politely; "I'm sorry, ma'am, you may have me confused with one of the staff here. I work at , so you'll want to look for someone with a red shirt (the staff here wore red polos; mine was somewhere between black and a very dark shade of grey)," turning my sleeve to reveal the logo stitched into it.
Thank heavens she understood. I know there are some assholes in the world who may not have.

Boys: Harold, Zee
Episode 13: Lies, Cries, and One Big Prize
"Previously, on Total Drama. Zee, Scarlett, and Harold created their own challenges!"
"Zee went with balancing, which bit big time for Scarlett and gave Harold the shock of his life."
"Harold's treetop race was more entertaining than a sawing monkey. Surprisingly, Scarlett won the challenge, and Harold fell from grace and the trees."
"So, it all came down to Scarlett's challenge: a trivia challenge about the former competitors. Zee didn't have too good a start, but quickly earned himself a spot in the finale."
"It all came down to a final question, and one that Scarlett ironically got wrong. Bye-bye!"
The montage ended with a flash, showing a close-up of Chris in front of a bare rock wall. "Down to two from three," he said, holding up three fingers but lowering one of them, "cause now we're Scarlett-free. But," he lowered another finger, "it'll still be neat to see who gets beat," he punched his open palm. "So! Grab a seat. There's one million bucks on the line," the shot cut to a robotic arm lifting up the open suitcase full of prize money against a radiant orange-and-gold background. "Iiiiiit's finale time!" Chris said as the shot cut back to him.
"On Total! Drama! Paaaaaahkitew Island!"
(Theme Song)
A deep note played as the episode opened on the bunker, the sky dark and the crickets chirping. A deep sigh issued forth from it, and the camera soon cut inside to show Harold tossing and turning in his bed. He got up and grabbed a pillow from the bed above him and closed his eyes with a smile, only to open them and sigh again.
Confessional: Harold
"It's no use," Harold sighed in the confessional. "I just can't get to sleep. I'm too anxious about tomorrow. I don't know if Zee is having the same trouble as I am..."
“It’d be cool if I win the last challenge. Just think about how much better my life would be. No more wedgies, wet willies, and toilet face plunges, my peers would respect me more as a million dollar winner, and I can invest the money in a way that’ll make me more than the show has to afford.”
Confessional Ends
The static cut away to show Harold turning his back to the camera with another sigh, then the shot cut to the inside of the barn to show Zee sleeping peacefully and snoring rather loudly.
Confessional: Zee
"This is a high stress situation, but I’m able to get some rest in order to ease it," Zee explained. "Even if it’s a million dollar competition against Harold."
Confessional Ends
An angelic sound played as the shot returned to a close-up of Harold, his eyes blinking blearily to sleep as the light of dawn streamed in through a window high on the wall above him.
Just as he and the music seemed to reach a peaceful rest, the wail of an airhorn pierced the walls and forced Harold back into wakefulness, his eyes snapping open wide and bloodshot. "Harold and Zee," Chris announced over the camp loudspeakers, the screen splitting in two with a shot of the good vibe guy blearily waking up sliding in on the left. "Meeting area, now!"
The scene flashed to Zee and Harold standing before Chris in the open meeting area. "Yes! Today, I fire one of you from a cannon," he greeted excitedly. "And then start my vacation."
"Plus you'll hand one of us a million dollars," Harold added with a grin.
"I haven't forgotten, dude," Chris said in annoyance. "I'm just focusing on the parts that bring me the most joy. Okay?"
"What's the challenge?" Zee asked. "Is it physical or have you decided on something else?"
Harold grinned. "Total Drama finales are always physical," he said. "And while I am classified as a brain, I'm afraid I have more fighting skills than you."
"Don't get too overconfident just yet," Zee warned. "I might surprise you."
"If I may continue?" Chris interrupted, his annoyed expression soon dropping. "Your final challenge is so demanding, the lawyers insisted each of you get a helper. Ehh," he shrugged, "it's not a horrible idea. I mean," the shot cut to the finalists as they watched him, "maybe they'll be able to help us find your bodies!" Zee and Harold shared a brief but wary look. "So, which of the past contestants would you like as a helper?" Chris asked, stepping over to them.
Confessional: Zee
"I'd prefer Julia," Zee told the outhouse camera. "She's really rad, and we work well together. But I wouldn't be too upset over having anybody else as a helper. Well, except for Scarlett."
Confessional: Harold
"It's no surprise that I'd prefer Leshawna over anyone else," Harold confessed. "She can handle her own battles and objectively speaking, she is the most physically attractive girl this season. I just wish that we were able to talk to each other before she left."
Confessionals End
"I choose Leshawna," Harold said with a smile as the static cut away and a triumphant tune played...for a few brief moments.
Chris chuckled. "'Choose'?" he repeated, laughing again. "Nooo, no no no no no no no...," he told the finalists.
"But you just asked us-," Zee pointed out in confusion.
"I know," Chris conceded, "I asked you who you wanted, I did that to be mean." He laughed again as the sound of squeaky wheels approached. "Your helpers-" the camera pulled back to show Chef pushing a large widescreen monitor up to the host on a cart- "will be selected thusly! When you press this button," he held up a remote control with a single red button on it, "the possible helpers will flash across the screen." A game show jingle played as the shot cut to the monitor, now showing the portraits of the eliminated contestants rolling down across the screen as if on a reel. "Whoever's face it stops on, is your helper."
The reel stopped on an image of Scarlett after drinking Juggy Chunks. "What happens if we land on someone we don't want?" Harold asked.
"You each get one chance to pass and spin again," Chris answered with a wide grin as the sound of a helicopter grew louder. "And just to make things even more interesting," he added, growing more and more giddy with each moment, "I've brought all the helpers out to watch!"
"RELEASE ME, YOU CRETIN! I DEMAND IT!" shouted a familiar voice.
Harold and Zee gasped as the music spiked, and the shot cut to the same dual-rotor military helicopter that Chris and Chef had taken shelter in during the island's malfunctioning as it flew in overhead.
Then the camera panned downward to show the twelve eliminated campers dangling under it tied up in ropes – Max on the far left, then Amy, Sammy, Duncan, Ella, B, Lightning, Scarlett, Julia, DJ, Leshawna, and finally Jo on the far right.
"What's the big idea, McLean?!" Jo shouted hatefully, the shot cutting in close to her and Leshawna.
"Yeah," Leshawna chimed in, "why do I gotta be hanging next to her!" The two girls locked eyes and glared.
"I don't think that's the issue here..." DJ said, the camera panning onto him.
"I personally don't mind being tied up like this," Julia said in a positive tone, the camera pulling back to show her smiling. "I'm just happy to see my boyfriend in the finale."
"I didn't even want to show up, but I would appreciate it if I was actually seated," Scarlett said in a grumpy tone.
"Sha-yeah!" Lightning agreed as the camera panned onto him. "Chris, these ropes might cause Lightning some bruising. Can we get them loosened a bit?"
Scarlett gave Lightning an incredulous look. "You do realize that if the ropes are loosened, you'll fall?"
"Lightning will just get back up again," Lightning told her obliviously.
The camera cut back to B. It lingered on him for a few moments as he awkwardly looked from side to side, then directly at the camera as he smiled coolly.
"Despite this drastic situation we're in," Ella sang after the song panned to her, "I still want either Zee or Harold to win~!"
Another pan to the left showed Duncan watching her. "My money's on Harold," he said, shrugging.
“And how come?” Ella asked.
"Zee's cool and all, but I just know the dork better," Duncan answered.
"Really?" Geoff asked, raising a eyebrow in disbelief. "Are the shows in Jersey really that terrible to watch?"
"They are if ya don't have tickets!" Anne Maria answered happily.
Yet another pan put the focus on Amy and Sammy. "Are you still not going to apologize for how you've treated me ever since we were little?" Sammy asked.
"And why should I?" Amy replied in slight irritation.
"Because I put you in your place and pointed out your own flaws," Sammy explained. “The least you can do is be humble a bit.”
"You may have gotten further than me, but you still didn’t win the season," Amy bragged. “You're a bowl of mush, and I'm a parfait, which is French for perfect.”
“So what's French for bossy blonde cow?” Sammy taunted with a smirk. “I know! Vache blonde autoritaire!”
"You are so going to get it," Amy growled.
The camera pulled back to show Max clenching his eyes shut in pain. "Would you two identical ladies cease that annoying racket?!" he finally yelled with another force to startle Amy and Sammy into looking at him. "Thank y-" he began to say plainly before Amy smacked him in the head. "Hey!" he said, cringing at the hit.
"Okay," Chris said, the music turning slow and plodding as the camera cut back to him, Zee and Harold. "Now that the Peanut Gallery has had a chance to reintroduce themselves, let's move on."
"Whoa, hold on a minute," Zee held up a hand to interrupt. "Why? How? When?"
"Uh, you're gonna have to be a little more specific there," Chris told him, raising an eyebrow.
"He means why are they all tied up?" Harold translated.
Chris let out a long, irritated sigh. "Fine," he said. "I'm keeping them tied up and in plain sight so we don't have them float towards the sun, okay?"
"No," Harold said bluntly.
"Not really," Zee replied.
"Whatever," Chris told them, his brow creased in annoyance. His expression then changed into a smile. "Who goes first will be decided by a coin toss," he explained, taking out a coin and flipping it towards the campers.
It hit Zee in the eye. He yelped in pain, rubbing where he'd been hit.
"Zee wins!" Chris happily announced. "Let's see who you get," he said as the game show jingled played again.
The shot cut to a close-up of the monitor as the portraits began to scroll past, Zee uttering a series of grunts as she watched off-screen – some hopeful, some annoyed. "Okay, stop," he said after a few seconds, the camera moving to him as he pressed the button on his remote.
The simulated reel stopped on Jo. "Not who I wanted at all," Zee said in disappointment as a triumphant jingle played, "but I got what I got and I'm not gonna throw a fit."
"Harold," Chris said, the camera moving back to the finalists as the dweeb pursed his lips, "you're up."
The game show jingle played, and the portraits started flashing across the monitor again – until they stopped on Scarlett. "No..." Harold groaned.
Confessional: Harold
"I knew the odds of getting Leshawna were slim," Harold confessed. "But I want a helper who would actually assist me."
Confessional Ends
An odd note played as the shot cut back to Zee, Harold, and Chris, the latter two sharing a look. "I'd like to spin again," Harold said.
"Have at it," Chris replied, the shot briefly cutting to the pictures flashing across the monitor again.
Harold pressed the button, and sagged in defeat – and the camera cut to the monitor to show that it had landed on Scarlett again. The camera moved in front of Chris as he gave her a mischievous look. "Scarlett again?" he asked in fake shock. "What are the odds?"
The camera pulled back as Chris turned to the right and nodded at Chef, who returned the gesture and walked away. "Okay, looks like Zee gets Jo and Harold gets Scarlett," Chris said, nodding toward the helicopter. The ropes tied around the two chosen helpers abruptly came loose, causing both to fall, but while Scarlett landed in an awkward flop, Jo simply tucked her legs in and rolled as a light but triumphant tune played.
She got back onto her feet just as Zee walked up to her. "Hey Jo. I know we haven't gotten along-" Zee said.
"-but since we're partners, we're gonna have to try and tolerate each other," Jo replied. "Yeah, I know."
Confessional: Jo
"I'm not in the game any more, which still sucks," Jo explained. "But Chill Pill managed to subvert my expectations. He lasted longer than I thought he would have. And if I have to work with him, then so be it."
Confessional Ends
The camera panned to the right as Scarlett snorted and stood up. "I strongly refuse to partake in this," she said, the shot cutting in close as she brushed the dirt off her shirt then turned around.
She took a step, and walked right into Chef, who snickered and locked a thick metal collar around the quiet brainiac's neck.
"Let me guess. You're going to shock me if I don't play along, right?" Scarlett asked in annoyance as she tugged at the collar.
"You'd think that," Chris said with a mischievous smile, "but this is actually something different. In case you somehow ended up as one of the helpers, I had a special collar made that'll tranquilize you if you don't play along," he finished with a smug look.
Scarlett groaned in annoyance. "Fine."
"Hey, as long as you don't just bail, I'm cool," Chris told him.
"I'm not," Harold interrupted with an angry look.
Confessional: Scarlett
"Unless I want a voltage surprise like the ones I received in episode four," Scarlett told the confessional camera with disgust, idly tugging at the collar around her neck, "I'll help Harold with his goal of winning the one million dollars. That doesn't mean I have to be happy about it."
Confessional: Chris
"Am I full of good ideas or what?" Chris chuckled in the outhouse camera.
Confessionals End
"So," Chris said, the static cutting away to show him walking towards the two pairs. "Reunion's over? Good! It's time for your final challenge. I have endearingly titled it, 'The Double Duo of Deadly Dying Death'!" A dramatic spike in the music, reverberated voice, and zoomed-in and angled shot all combined to make the revealing of the title particularly dramatic.
"That sounds dangerous...," Zee said worryingly.
"It's supposed to be dangerous, Dodo Brain," Jo groaned.
Confessional: Zee
"Now I'm wishing I did use my second chance like Harold did," Zee confessed.
Confessional Ends
"Now since Blaineley snuck back onto the island and changed it completely by wreaking havoc in the secret underground control room..." Chris began to explain.
"Umm, hold on," came the voice of Julia, the camera panning back up to the still-loitering helicopter. "What did you just say?" she asked in confusion.
"Wait, you didn't know that?" Duncan asked. "I knew I was forgetting something."
"Host!" Max interrupted, drawing the focus to the other end of the line. "I demand you explain this!"
"No," Chris replied in a deadpan tone. "As I was saying," he continued, putting his bland smile back on as the background music became deep and tense, "we've yet to explore all the wonderful and bizarre new dangers the island's new landscape has to offer. Until now. Harold and Zee," the shot cut back to the two pairs, "with assistance from your helpers-" Zee and Jo shared a frown while Harold and Scarlett shared a glare - "you will race across the island. First one to cross the finish line will receive," Chris turned to the side and grabbed the prized suitcase from Chef, the music building up grandly as he opened it to reveal its glowing contents, "One! Millions! Dol-lars!"
All four teens started cheering.
"All you have to do is survive a 2000-foot plummet from an ice cliff," Chris joyously explained, the camera cutting to the slender peak of a snowy mountain before quick-panning away, "successfully learn to breathe while submerged in mud," the camera panned across a bubbling lake of mud before quick-panning away again, "and then sprint two miles across a wide-open field where," the shot now panned across a seemingly ordinary and empty field, "I'm absolutely sure no harm will come to you."
The shot cut back to the cast as Chris began to laugh raucously for an extended period of time. "The point I'm making," Chris said once he'd finally finished, "is that there's a decent chance you may not survive this."
Both finalists and helpers groaned warily. Then they were each tossed an orange helmet.
"For the first part of the challenge," Chris explained, "the lawyers insisted you wear helmets to protect your brains." The shot cut to him and Chef. "I mean who knows. Someday, you may start using them." The roar of the nearby helicopter suddenly increased, the added wind whipping up a cloud of dust around the men. "When you get to the top of the mountain, it'd be a good idea to build a bobsled," Chris instructed, "or, it'll be a very rough ride down!"
The show's smaller red helicopter was shown flying over, the larger military one flying away with the rest of the former campers still attached. "Grab a rope!" Chris said, the camera panning down the four ropes hanging from the helicopter to show them dangling just above the finalists and helpers. "Your challenge begins...NOW!"
The four grabbed the ropes in front of them, and to a sudden bit of challenge music and a blast of the host's airhorn, the helicopter flew off dragging the startled teens along with it.
"Good luck! Stay safe!" Chris called out after them. "Are things I'd say, if I cared!"
The footage flashed ahead to the top of the snowy peak, several boxes and barrels of various junk – including what looked like several sets of skis – already waiting at the top. The small helicopter arrived momentarily, and the shot cut to its four passengers landing in the show – Jo and Zee on the left, Scarlett and Harold on the right.
"We're supposed to build a bobsled out of this junk?" Jo asked in disbelief.
"No," Zee corrected as he grabbed a pair of skis, "Chris just said it would be a good idea." He tossed the skis onto the ground and stepped on them, a tense challenge tune playing in the background. "I have a different one, so hop on."
The shot cut to a close-up of Jo grinning, then to her jumping onto the skis behind Zee. "Let's do this!" she said as they began to slide forward down the slope and left the scene.
The camera panned onto Scarlett, holding a pair of skis of her own. "We should get moving!"
"What's to stop me from believing that you won't shove me off the skis?" Harold asked, crossing his arms and raising an eyebrow.
"I have this wretched collar on. Shoving you is the last thing I want to do. Now get on!" Scarlett told him angrily.
"Fine," Harold said, rolling his eyes and walking over to where Scarlett was already waiting on the skis and got ahead of her. The challenge music rose up again as they leaned forward, and started to slide.
The shot cut to Zee and Jo looking back over their shoulders with grins on their faces. They promptly skied through a tall mogul, slowing them down a little and covering Zee's eyes in snow. "I can't see!" he shouted, clawing at the packed snow as they began to swerve.
"Quick, to the left!" Jo shouted, one hand around Zee's waist and one point ahead of them as they swerved away from the camera around another mound of snow. "Now right!" Jo directed, the two swerving back towards the foreground. "Left!" She shouted, but they just sped through another mogul earning a scream from the jock-ette.
Confessional: Jo
Jo was blue from the cold and shivering heavily.
Confessional Ends
"Well isn't that the best thing that's happened today!" Scarlett taunted as the scene cut back to her and Harold.
"Yeah, well, we're gonna be next if we don't keep dodging these things," Harold pointed out as they began to swerve around the moguls as well. "And I want to try and get ahead of them while we can."
The music ramped up dangerously as the dweeb and brainiac slid towards another mogul. "Left!" Harold shouted.
"No, right!" Scarlett replied, the two leaning to the opposite direction, swerving nowhere, and plowing right through the mound. "Aagh!"
"Scarlett!" Harold growled as they started swerving wildly, snow covering both their eyes. They clipped the side of another mogul, sending themselves into a screaming spin, hit a third mogul, and came out tumbling end over end.
The shot cut to the bottom of the slope, the music leveling off as what looked like a mogul on skis slid down. The camera zoomed in as two patches of snow fell away to reveal Zee and Jo inside, the two moaning and blue in the face. "Zee, we need to move," Jo weakly told her partner, "before-"
A massive snowball suddenly ran them over, breaking the snow but leaving the good vibe guy and jock-ette lying in a puddle of melting snow. A crash was heard off-screen, but the camera lingered in place as Jo groaned and stood up. "Let's go," Jo told her partner. "You're still in this..."
"...yeah," Zee said as he caught his breath. "Yeah!" he said, more energetically this time. "I've got this!" he declared before charging forward, the shot cutting to Jo as she smirked softly then raced after her partner.
The camera followed them along for a few seconds until they reached a heap of snow, skis, and dazed-looking teens, which the shot immediately focused on. "What happened?" Harold shot at his partner, the dweeb lying upside-down half-trapped in the snow. "I told you to go left!"
"And I told you to go right!" Scarlett countered, her head sticking out the right way up but her legs sticking out over it.
"Yes, but I'm the one in charge!" Harold replied. "You're supposed to be helping me!"
"I was steering!" Scarlett said before the snow holding her up crumbled away, causing her to fall over with a startled gasp.
Harold sighed in aggravation before a small pile of melting snow collapsed onto his face.
The scene cut away to show Chris and Chef sitting in lawn chairs eating popcorn as they watched the challenge feed, the host promptly pausing it with a beep and looking at the camera. "This finale's out of control!" he said excitedly as the capstone theme began to play. "Zee and Jo got run over! Harold and Scarlett can't stop arguing! And all of them just plowed through like a ton of snow!"
"Stay tuned, "he continued, the shot moving away but the host quickly popping back up in front of it. "Someone is leaving here a millionaire. It's the finale of Total! Drama! Paaaaaahkitew Island!"
(Commercial Break)