I (18F) have a boyfriend (21M) and I have previously posted on Reddit asking for advice, it turns out that I asked my boyfriend if he wanted me to send him racy photos, He told me that if I felt comfortable, I could do it, that he was cautious with his cell phone, but then he told me "it's still something that neither you nor I will do, and as a wise man said, explicit photos are not worth it" I kept thinking about that, or I took it as if I didn't really want those types of photos or something like that, I felt very bad about that, and I don't know what to do in this case, I feel a feeling of discomfort with this topic, like something is not right.
I usually address things with him, but when I tried to do so, he told me that if it was something very private, it was better that you not tell him. So I have no idea what to do anymore.
TL;DR I want to send hot photos to my boyfriend but it seems like he's not interested, and I feel like my body is belittled.
What should I do?

Soulmage

I wanted to leave without a word, because there was a part of me that still thought I was right, and if I spat that venom at Cienne I'd only sicken him more. Then I wanted to write a letter, because I'd tried to make Cienne's choices for him one too many times, and taking my last words away from him stank too much of glass shards and festered bile.
So in the end, there was only one choice that gave back Cienne some of the control I'd wrested from him. There would be no vanishings in the night. No envelopes on pillows with salt-stained pleas.
I knocked on Cienne's door during a frigid, thin-aired noon.
"Lucet?" I heard a thunk twenty pounds heavier than I expected. He was taking to the treatments well. The treatments I'd tried to keep from him. "Everything okay?"
And fuck, things had gone so wrong between us that the first thing he asked was that. "Honestly? Not really. But if you don't want to talk, I'll leave."
I held a slip of paper between my fingers. If he didn't want to talk, I'd slip it into the Plane of Calm when I left. Hiding my last words in a place he'd only reach if he was unshakeable was the least I could do to ensure my absence wouldn't be sprung on him when he was already knocked down.
But the door opened before I could cast a spell, and Cienne was in his neatly-tidied room, his Redlander's robes pooling around his feet. Waves lapped at the warm sand of his soul, and he stepped back in an unspoken invitation.
The paper crinkled in my hands, and I shook my head. "If I step into that room I'm not going to be able to leave," I blurted out.
Cienne tilted his head, lips pursing, and I could see my soul reflected in his eyes, all back-alley bilgewater and broken bottles. The realization swelled inside him like a bubble of magma, boiling his idyllic beach into mist and quartz. "You're leaving the city," Cienne finally said.
I had an entire letter working up to that revelation, and he saw through me in an instant. "I wrote an explanation, if you don't want to hear it from me now, but—"
"If that would make it easier for you," Cienne began, then grimaced. "...no. No, I want to hear it from you. Why you'd rather die by inches rather than let Zhytln treat you, you stubborn—" He cut himself off.
"Go ahead," I said.
"Like hell I will. You came here to say something, and I want to hear you out."
I took in a deep breath, then looked down at the words in my palms. I could drop them and run, and Cienne wouldn't get in my way because only one of us tried to stop people from taking the medicine they needed, and that was the coward's way out and if there was one thing I would never again be it was a coward.
"Okay." I wish I could have met his eyes while I spoke, but truth be told I'd stammer and stutter and shy away if I had to improvise this, so I looked down at my letter and began to read.
Cienne, it simply began. If you're reading this, I'm already gone. I skipped that part, true though it was, and read aloud from the second sentence. "You're building a life here, and I can't be part of it. Because you're finally happy and healthy and safe and content, and there are things I need to do that won't let me ever be any of that."
Cienne's hands twitched, as if reflexively he wanted to reach out to me, to comfort me like he had so many times before. Before. Before we'd clashed. Before he knew what it meant to be a riftmaw.
"Part of me wanted to hide where I'm going for your own good," I continued, and I was glad now that I had an excuse to look anywhere but at Cienne. "But I don't get to decide that for you. So while you're living your life on the docks of Knwharfhelm, the same abomination of an institution that gave us cancer and killed Sansen is still murdering and brainwashing and claiming the moral high ground while they're at it. And I'm going to steal their medicine and wreck their war machine and show them what a pissed-off soulmage with nothing to lose can do. And this is where both of us belong. You enjoying your freedom and health. Me trying to win that for everyone who didn't escape. Because that's why I'm doing this. For the people like you who never found their peace. And for the one who did."
Lines of frost crept from my fingertips, ink twisting into brittle runes. I looked up at Cienne, as if he would convince me to change my mind, to take Zhytln's treatment and stay in the struggling, growing household he'd made.
Maybe there was once a Cienne who would have asked me to stay. But I'd killed that man on the docks of Knwharfhelm.
"...Will you talk to Meloai and Sansen before you go?" Cienne finally asked.
"I knew I'd only be able to do this once."
Cienne closed his eyes.
"Then go," he finally said. "And when you see Witch Aimes..."
His brows creased, eyelids twitching, and his soul shuddered and wrenched. He never finished his sentence.
"I'll know what to do," I said. I almost reached out to take his hand.
But his soul was placid and still once more. I'd disturbed him enough already.
So I drew a line in the air, peeling open a rift between our home and the streets of Knwharfhelm, and took my first step towards the Silent Peaks.
A.N.
Updates will happen when they happen. Thanks for sticking along.
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So I've had these ideas for how I'd rewrite Spider-Man: Miles Morales for awhile, back when I was replaying this and Spider-Man PS4 before Insomniac's Spider-Man 2 released. I still enjoyed both games, the first especially. Though I have to come to agree that SM-MM has some narrative gripes; mainly with the villains. Since I already shared them with one Subreddit, I figured why not share it here: so feel free to flame me or share some thoughts on them.
1.) Turn Simon Krieger into Alistair Smythe
Krieger to me always felt kinda off-handed as a villain, leaving most of the dirty work to others and kinda proving Phin's point. That he is all bark and no bite. In coming up with the later change, I figured swapping Krieger for Alistair Smyther would be interesting for a couple of reasons. One being that having Smythe be Roxxon's head of R&D could open up the organization to a different enemy variety; making the Spider Slayer robots a threat Miles has to overcome. Second: it be a way to tie into the games whole "passing of the torch" story since Alistair in the comics took after his father Spencer Smythe. So Alistair could be motivated to escape his father's shadow in Roxxon much like Miles is carving his own path seperate from Peter. Third: honestly you wouldn't need to change the character personality wise; just make him more proactive as a villain.
2.) Keep Rick Mason Alive
An idea borrowed from Game Den's rewrite, I do like the idea of keeping Phin's brother alive and making him an active player in the story. Especially turning his death in the actual game into some supervillain origin story. The explosion that would have killed him instead giving him energy powers at the cost of needing to consume Nuform to survive. However if I were to keep Rick alive and give him superpowers, I'd have it be the case that Roxxon kept him under lock so he can more Nuform by force. Smythe is this hypotheical also taking advantage of Rick's position to weapons his powers and turn him into the companies private superpowered muscle. Specifically strapping him into some barely functional prototype battle armor, adding Nuform intakes to it, and making Rick this universe version of Beetle. I liked this approach for a few reasons, least of which being swapping out the Rhino spot later in the story. For one: if Rick is still alive, I like compound the mystery of what happened to him with the mystery of who Beetle is. I'd like the vision of Rick's armor being like Darth Vader's suit lore wise: in that it give him the ability to fly, hit hard, take hits, and fire out Nuform in concentrated beams; at the cost of needing to feed on Nuform canisters, not talking, and being puppeted by Smythe. Who is just stringing him along to meet quota in the hopes Phin is safe.
3.) Tinkerer's Changes
I also figured do this whole Beetle mystery with Rick would give Phin a redemption arc that doesn't happen last minute. By having the Rhino boss fight be swapped out with one where Miles and Phin's escape is halted by Beetle, Smythe via innercom just goating Phin into killing him, only for Miles to pull her back and discover Rick is the guy in the suit. This does mean for this hypothetical, Phin would be left in the dark about Rick's sickness and just assumed Roxxon killed him. Another change I'd make for her, in regards to her place in the Underground, she didn't take over leadership. She'd be a high ranking member who is trying to stir the gang into her direction while actual leaders of the group plot to cut her out the minute things turn south with her; figured this would dial back her comments when Miles confronts Phin with her secret after the repair shop mission. Blaming the leaders for attack Rio's rally when she needed a distraction for the bridge. The last change I'd make in regards to Phin is explaining why she'd never just went to the Morales for help after assuming Rick died. Since in this case she is working off of assumptions. Basically, taking elements from The Rabble (since to me Raneem is the better version of Insomniac Tinkerer): Phin was jealous of Miles. During the escape from Roxxon mission, before the two encounter "Beetle", Miles does answer Phin's question of whether he was going tell her he was Spider-Man by saying "despite what I was taught, yes". Miles would then throw her question back to which she'd respond with "had you not found out, no". Explaining that despite seeing Miles like a brother, she always thought she was the better of the two; and yet despite that, she lost her parents, her brother, her future, meanwhile Miles still has his. A minor change I would make for the Tinkerer would be moving her boss fight from the end of the game to the amphitheater mission. As with all these changes means the finale would be slightly different.
4.) The Ending
In short, the ending would still be the same: just with a bunch of elements changed. Miles and Phin end the Beetle boss fight by freeing Rick from Smythe control, though they all have to work together to stop the Underground from nuking Harlem via Phin's plan. When Rio shows her support for Miles as Spider-Man, Rick comforts Phin about her actions as the Tinkerer and that he only got strung along by Roxxon to protect her. The three go to try and stop the Underground, Miles gets kidnapped and fights Uncle Aaron. Phin and Rick arrive at the Oscorp convention and find out the Underground leadership has moved forward with cutting her out. Roxxon and the Underground fight throughout Harlem with Spider-Man, Tinkerer and Beetle trying to deesclate things. They try to move on with plan B: have Miles and Rick out absorb the plaza reactor before it goes critical. But then Smythe enters the picture with his own polished battlesuit that's basically combining his Slayer tech and Nuform with Phin's programmable matter. A boss fight ensues, the Mason's go down, Miles turn's the tide by repeatedly absorbing the Nuform from Smythe suit and sending it back at him. Miles and the Mason's save the day, but Rick is the one who sacrifices themself instead of Phin; and Smythe somehow survives but gets crippled and arrested.
Sorry if this post was a long, let me know what yall make of them mess.

Hey, I’m Merry. Muslim woman who has moved lately from Palestine “Gaza” to Egypt. I’m looking to meet a man who is also interested in mono relationship. Giving his time and effort to know each other as I will be giving him my attention and my loyalty. I understand that sometimes people can talk with different girls or guys to choose from, but I hope at some point we can agree that we are closed and officially together. The only reason is to not waste time and to give ourselves the right quality time to understand and study each other.
As in the post it says I’m Muslim, so I’m looking for muslim guy at the same age, less or a bit more. I’m well educated, I have grown up learning a lot about both life and principles so I have strong beliefs in them, I appreciate discipline and respect as they are really important in any type of relationship not only between couples.
I work from home, I love kids but I’m not planning to get too many kids, I’m good looking woman, I go to gym, eat healthy, I enjoy quiet times and I don’t get bored easily from being alone, my motives to get into relationship is because I really think I can be a good healthy partner. I would also enjoy someone company and the idea of growing together “ not only age “ but as people, as humans, as brains and as open to learn from life and give to it.
I have been in long healing process that I think it helped with building who I’m. I’m just looking for a simple mature man who enjoys my company, good looking, calm, enjoy family time and loves me for who I’m. I would appreciate if he is passed the immature phase, not in his middle age crisis, someone who is looking for same principles love, respect, honesty, loyalty. If you think you can’t provide those at any time in the future or based on your past please don’t waste our time. I’m also working on getting my master scholarship in the meantime.
If it helps, I’m interested in Arts, Science, psychology “ alot “, I like to read astrology but it’s not necessarily to believe in them, I love to do handmade things for any kind of occasion, I enjoy long walks, beach talk, I appreciate alone time and I understand a lot about men from my readings so it can be both blessing and curse.
If you ever cared about love languages mine is word of affirmation and physical, I’m INFP, 9w1 personality type, so I appreciate people who are interested in learning about those things to get into healthy relationship that is promising into something long term and deep meaningful.
I don’t mind which country you are from , or if this lead to any ldr. all appreciated if we matched on the scale of principles, look, emotions and goals. I don’t mind sharing photos but not in the beginning. I’m open to answer questions and get into long deep meaningful conversations without crossing the lines of being respectful and classy.

One thing that threw me off about S3 was Colin’s very strong reaction to LW in ep 1. We’ve never seen him particularly care about LW before, even after the Marina and Eloise situations, and in fact it seemed like he maybe suspected Eloise for a bit in season 2.
I initially felt like his reaction this season was out of character, and that they had to play it up for the reveal later, but my theory is that this is more so a reaction to his facade being called out publically.
He’s come back with a new (fake) swagger, trying to fit into society and be a “man”, and some anonymous woman has immediately clocked that it’s all bullshit. She got right to the heart of his insecurities and I think that makes him more mad than any of the scandals she’s exposed in the past. And then the next day when he meets up with Pen he brings the article up, asking if she still wants to do the lessons after what LW said - he’s so unsure of himself because he feels like he’s been exposed as a fraud.
I hope that this is the angle they take with Colin’s anger after the second half - that it digs at his insecurities rather than him just hating that Pen is a gossip.

I’ve had a two year friendship with a coworkefriend(43m). He is interested in me but I’ve kept in the friend zoned because I don’t feel the same for him. He is attractive but I think he’s just too old for me and I prefer a man with no kids. I still flirt with him and I send him sexy pictures to him by surprise. He gets turned on by them. The closest thing sexually we ever got was me touching his private area with his pants on with permission.
He lost his car a year ago and sometimes he has trouble getting home from work. I never gave him a ride home because I always feared he would do something creepy I wouldn’t like. I mentioned this to him as an excuse but he became offended by it. Well a couple of days ago, I let my fear go and decided to give him a ride home. As we get to his house, he stays and chat with me in the car. The conversation turned sexual because he randomly brought up the time I touched his private area. He offered to show it but I said no. He was about to get out of the car but offered it again and shut the door. I said no a bunch of times and made excuses that I was ready to go but he just kept offering and even decided to unbuckle his pants and nearly pulled his “stuff” out. I said no a bunch of times and finally when I grabbed his hands and told him no and to buckle his pants back he finally did. The situation made me uncomfortable but I feel like I brought this on myself.

mine my latest dream

I had a very vivid dream that I was in a partially wrecked building, weapons and gear were stored and we were suffering bombardment from small explosive rounds.
I geared up with a rocket launcher and went to the front; from a distance I could see dark figures firing at us they seemed middle eastern but the appearance seemed just that, an appearance. Their energy connected to a central source and the feeling I got was they were connected to the elite .
I shot off a few rounds with the launcher and then started launching some kind of bladed projectile which I envisioned impaling several of the offenders; I was running out of ammo and reached for the small nuclear warheads at which point the enemy dispersed. They were too close to fire on for it to have spared our lives.
My vision then shifted to a battle of two skys
the upper sky which I felt was the creator or god was sending massive energy pulses to the lower sky, I observed from between them and after around ten bursts I was asked if it had removed the cold from the earth, I answered yes, it had.

that one was a trip.
sis/ rip

Another dire warning in dream state
Last night as usual in my dream state I wandered into an area which was full of underlying religious context I was fighting the unseen dark influences and warding off demonic possession by repeating over and over the lords prayer, while surrounded by all the evils of the world, but very curiously I never got passed “thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven,” until about the fifth time of chanting, for those of you who are unfamiliar with this prayer it is as follows.
Our father which art in heaven Hallowed be thy name
Thy kingdom come thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven
Give us this day our daily bread forgive us our trespasses
As we forgive those who trespass against us
Lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil
For thine is the power and the glory forever and ever
Amen.
After then I awoke abruptly at “give us this day our daily bread forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us”
This to me meant that we are about to be forced into a time when this prophecy called the book of revelations is about to become a reality meaning Gods will is upon us, and God is at hand in the works of the people and in these the last days this prayer to me is all about humbly thanking God for every small blessing and asking for his help and guidance in every aspect of our lives great and small but keeping humble requests and having gratitude for anything more that he bestows on our lives and so this is the message I send out to you for now is the time of repentance.
BE WARNED, and be READY!
I may seem to you to be a bible thumping quack don’t say you were not forewarned in the end when you come face to face with your own judgments in the presence of your maker you have 2 and 1/2 years before you will see for yourself that sooner was most definitely better than later in this case all hell is about to break lose and later is just too late!
In that same dream I had a personal warning that a man and woman would enter my life asking for a personal favor and as I submitted to their request in the end I was betrayed and left in utter disarray in my life possibly facing legal hardship from them. //
Are we headed for drought and famine?
How many years has it been since we as a society believed the end was eminant? Since the great depression? since world war1, or worldwar2? and each time we are very pleasantly and ecstaticly relieved when the end is never in sight, and each time we feel foolish don’t we? What if all of that were to change, would we see it or know it? Maybe there is that one person who told us it was coming and we disregarded their words as the rantings of a mentally ill person You never truly know it is over until you are facing the ugliness of those final moments but we can all agree that we as a whole are working up to it each and every generation and we can feel our own mortality as we slip into unknown territory full of terrorism and nuclear bomb threaghts. What if the answer was as simple as finding our footing in the spiritual realm becoming more harmonious with the earth and with human beings around us in other words what if their were a guarantee that if we prayed or at least became spiritually aware we would be saved? would we do this very simple task, would others around us follow our lead? What if I told you all it takes to save the town you’re in is 20 people who were connected in mind and soul to the what society calls THE GODHEAD? I had a dream a few nights ago where I stood in a foreign country I felt it was europe and many different people were around with accents that to me seemed as though they were from multiple tongues and nations and they were mulling around and drinking and living just everyday lives full of materialism and wickedness in other words what has become the norm all around the world and in the midst of them I was trying to tell them of an impending event that was about to happen that they needed to prepare for. But to no avail I was completely ignored by all still I kept trying telling them there was going to be a great drought and a food shortage that would effect the whole world and would move from country to country like a great domino effect but it seemed as though even upon hearing numerous lives would be lost they continued in their faithful disobedience over and over I repeated myself and it seemed to me they were in great disbelief that this was at all possible and in the end of the dream I finally said God has told me to tell you their will be a great drought and famine and that if you do not want your countries to fall into starvation you should prepare for it then I awoke. When I woke up I was in shock for God was never in my dream, and not once have I spoken with him personally and yet still it felt as though I had the authority to say these exact words that they were ordained directly from God! A few days later I had yet another dream I was in a place after the bombs settled and saw the oceans and seas the land had radiation through out and the water was greatly poisoned by this radiation and the sharks and fish were changing over a period of time I saw multiple generations of grotesquely mutated life and was in great fear then I saw multiple babies being created in a scientific way in order to carry on the human lineage and a very dark in nature group moving to seek out and destroy these babies that were close to reaching full gestation, I had the distinct feeling we humans were becoming less and less able to procreate in the conventienal way. And lastnight I dreamt I was traveling accrossed the sea, in specific the medateranian sea having a very beautiful feeling great things were going to happen when I came accrossed a small family that seemed very important for some reason, they lived in a very small area in simple surroundings and their was a birthday taking place it was the 5th or 6th birthday of a boy I felt I needed to attend the birthday of, and they were happy to see me allowing my prescence with open arms, but when I wanted to bring others they weren’t very accomodating feeling towards the Idea when I awoke I felt as though that young boy was very important somehow to a significant event that will take place futuristically. At first I wasn’t sure the significance of the information I am about to disclose but I decided that it just may be pertinent, I was definately in an area that boating seemed a pass time and my brain hit on Ionian sea and the young boy was in a sea cavern with smoke coming from his ears as his parents did also, it was an area where Manta Rays were most prevalent, along with a moderate amount of dolphins near by very few deadly sharks in comparrison to the other aquatic life and an occassional whale perhaps this boy is not an actual boy but a smaller volcano alongside two larger ones, whic is why I saw smoke coming from the ears meaning it was about to come to an eruptive head, in which the boys age was five maybe perhaps pin pointing the time it is to going to erupt. There are alot of different meanings we can take from this dream. //
Do we really think we are safe?
What happens if America is right in the fact that President Obama is the fated Anti-Christ? What then? Is there anything we can truly do about it? At best this proves the struggle between good and evil does exists and there is a God, a messiah, and A Lucifer (devil), or Satan however you were raised to call him. Ok now imagine we can stop him from his achieving full power, just pretend somehow we could, or that we do and off sounds the trumpet? Christians save the day yeehaa yippy kiyay Do we think for an instant oh the struggle is over whew, we can finally breathe easy, boy that was close, I’m so glad we passed the test, ding dong the witch is dead! Or do we wait for the next Anti-Christ, and the next, and the next, how many times can we thwart his full power inevitably he will rise in the end no matter how hard we fight to keep him away right? So why not let him come and turn over in the end the rule of the earth to the second coming of our messiah, the lord of lords, and king of kings Are we that afraid of facing God Almighty? Understandably we are all afraid we are not in the book of life,for only the sainted, and virginal, and truly Godly are written in the book of life those, who are hand picked from the start by God himself to exist the last days before the second coming, only the handicapped, truly compassionate right? Well guess how many of us that describes, not me and if you are able to read and understand this not you probably, oh just because there are priests and bishops and preachers and popes in the world most likely non of them qualify, and our Jewish population I’m pretty certain absolutely none of them are in the book of life! After all the Jews needlessly slaughtered the saints and their own King to boot if anything the Jews should rue the day they ever meet wit their maker! Mayhap it’s better to allow this time to pass and hope that gods mercy be upon us or even do one better change our greedy, hateful, unforgiving ways, pray constantly for direction and guidance, repent, and seek counsel in the holy ghost, and give whole heartedly our penance to the lord our lamb, to present a case on our behalf to the almighty heavenly father this is the only way we can be of light heart, and easy mind and maybe find worthiness in Gods eyes, then let the Antichrist come as we Christians ban together to survive in the latter days in other words prepare for the worst and hope for the best. If God finds us worthy worst case scenario we are killed right away or perhaps we are not bothered at all because we have repented, remember that to repent is to ask forgiveness with a broken heart, and humble nature never to do what we are repenting of again! This may sound hard and maybe we are all waiting for definitive proof of Gods existence before we do this but seriously it will be too late the tribulation for you will be too great and you most likely need to take the side that gives you instantaneous relief from your misery.
We know who will rise victoriously why not allow it? And in the end all of the secrets and deceptions that were created will be revealed and all of our own perversions of the true church will be done away with I say let it come about, Let the saints finally taste revenge for all that man has spoiled, perverted, and destroyed, and let god fill his cup with the grapes of wrath. //
Governmental knockdown?
This last dream I’m very uncertain if it was tied into anything or not but warned of a big fight between two male entities that one of which was very large in stature and appeared to me like the archangel Michael who I felt was my fiercest and personal protector he seemed very close spiritually to me I’m not sure why but the warring was going on with a very dark and much smaller male figure and completely evil it was very disturbing as I saw a great blow to the head taken by Michael but only after he delivered one to his foe which was not very damaging, and Michael who was standing in front of me in position and mind to protect me, fell to the ground but I waited around to see whether he raised again and I remember thinking it was impossible for him to be dead so I stayed and kept waiting for his rising thinking it would be any second then I awoke was it real if so what does it mean? Is it a possibility God will allow Satan and his dominion such power over even his own archangels to be defeated for a short time and leave his children completely at the mercy of the devil? In the dream I remember feeling vulnerable to the will of the dark force before me but also strangely feeling as though I wasn’t going to be gone after as I stayed vigilant in my loyalty to my protector bidding his rising fervently and in complete disbelief that he was dead.
Upon further reflection of this dream I came to the possible conclusion that the male entities were symbolic of the government we could all depend on protecting us and the smaller figure was a darker change in our government infrastructure knocking down our protective defenses and leaving our government vulnerable to darker government influences which intended the country harm. And that if we stay loyal and vigil we can avoid the harmful effects and changes about to be a possible driving force in our country.

https://web.archive.org/web/20100823131345/http://theruthlesstruth.com/wordpress/
the rest under pages starting at the rambling poet most are my late sisters

I just finished the RBC Brooklyn Half yesterday, after a 12-week training program. I’d built up a lot of expectations for the race, for a whole host of interrelated reason (that I’ll unpack in the body of this thing); all those expectations, unfortunately, caused me to get carried away, and made my experience of the race overall 1) unenjoyable while I was running and 2) disappointing after I finished.
I’m a teacher, and I frequently relay this paraphrasing of a Confucius quote to my kids: “We can either learn how to act by imagining consequences and reflecting, which is best; or by watching others make mistakes, which is hard (though not for us). The most difficult way to learn is through experience, but if that’s what it takes, then that’s what it takes.” One of my top-upvoted comments of all time is in this sub, telling people to not ruin a race for themselves by over-fixating on time-goals at the expense of enjoying their race.
And yet—

Race Information

• Name: RBC Brooklyn Half
• Date: May 18, 2024
• Distance: 13.1 mi
• Location: Brooklyn, NY
• Time: 1:38:2X

Goals

Goal	Description	Completed?
A	Sub or Equal 1:32	No
B	Sub 1:35	No
C	Finally Pace Myself Properly	No

Splits

Split	Pace	Time
5k	7:04	21:55
10k	7:20	44:42
15k	7:12	1:07:03
20k	8:23	1:33:03
Finish	7:55	1:38:2X

Background Context

I started running in Oct of ‘22, and caught the bug. I ran a half in April of ‘23 in 1:47, and loved the distance. I built base over the summer to ~30-35 mpw, and then trained for the Philly Half in Nov of ‘23. Ended up getting a 1:38:0X in that race, which was really exciting. More exciting was that I approximately even-split that race — my second half took ~30 seconds longer than the first. I left that race feeling exactly how I wanted to — like a washcloth wrung out completely. I felt like that race & time represented the absolute best of my ability, given my current level of fitness; and I felt like I tried my best the whole way through.
Last important piece of context re: diagnosing this race’s disappointment: between Oct of ‘22 and Nov ‘23 I went from ~240 lbs avg to ~195 lbs average. My lowest weight dipped to the high 180s, but I stabilized around 190 pretty quickly.

Training

I used Runna to train for Philly and really enjoyed the experience. My organizational skills are pretty lacking, and I spend 100% of them in other areas of my life — so I enjoy using an app that offloads some of that cognitive lift for me, fully worth the sub during training blocks.
As far as milage, I managed:

Week	Miles (Ran / Goal)
1	25 / 33 mi mi (missed 2 runs from travel)
2	32 / 36 mi (missed 1 run b/c travel)
3	38 /38 mi
4	12 / 20 mi (deload, missed 2 runs from illness)
5	28 / 38 mi (missed 2 runs from illness carried over from previous week)
6	40 / 40 mi
7	43 / 43 mi
8	23 / 23 mi
9	50 / 43 mi (extended 2 easy runs by ~3 miles apiece)
10	43 / 40 mi
11	29 / 35 mi (missed 1 run due to illness)
12	23 / 23 mi (including race).

As I’m sure you can already see, I missed a meaningful amount of runs due to illness/other life interruption. Concurrent with all this is the fact that my wife is due with our 2nd child in, well, like a week and a half from now; so a lot of the missed runs in weeks 1-5 also reflect a dramatic net increase in my responsibilities b/c of my wife feeling out of it / not being able to get as much done as normal (no shade at all; she’s literally building a new human that wasn’t there before). Overall I got ~92% of all milage done, running 388 miles during these 12 weeks. Mistake #1: I didn’t adjust my time goals in light of missing workouts; I figured if I just worked harder to “catch up,” I would be fine.
The plan included 2 quality sessions a week — 1 tempo run and 1 interval session, and the weekend long run frequently had pace thrown in. I vastly prefer tempo to interval running — personally, I cite being ~200 lbs as the reason. Once I get going, it’s easy to keep going, but frequent stops & starts just burn energy that I can’t afford to lose. Mistake #2: as I trained, my weight went from the high 190s to the high 200s, and I raced at ~207 lbs. I wasn’t consistent w/ nutrition during training, and the associated stress of my job, as well as parenting & chores usually handled by 2 people being done mostly by me — I often used lil’ snacks as a quick dopamine fix (adhd heads out there, you know what I’m talking about.)

Pre-Race

I wasn’t sure I’d be able to run the race in the first place — my first daughter (now 7) was born at 36 weeks, and I anticipated my second needing the same (choleostasis enjoyers, rise up). Instead, though, this baby seems primed to go the distance — so I got equal parts excited and nervous to be able to deliver on all my training.
I’d cut my time by 9 minutes from my first to the second half, and tried to be conservative in aiming to cut ~5 minutes between these cycles — so I aimed to run 7:00-7:05 for the race, dipping into the 6:55s if I felt good at the end of the race, and set my A goal for 1:32, and my B goal for 1:35. Mistake #3: I didn’t have any serious qualitative goals, and my quant goals were made too far in advance to be realistic. I also wasn’t proactive in adjusting my goals based on how training was going — despite advocating for that same thing in posts on this sub.
Man, it’s so easy to say smart things, and so hard to actually do them.
About 10 days before my race, I came down with a cough thing that sapped a bit of my energy. Kept me up at night, and sapped ~10-15% of my energy on a given day. The Wednesday before my race I asked my wife, “Do you think 3 days is enough for me to be back at 100%?” And I want to say to other runners out there: if you’re having to ask that question, go ahead and adjust your goals. We’ll tag that as Mistake #4.

The Race

Gorgeous morning. I live ~1.5 miles from the race start, so I walked over to Franklin and then jogged the remaining ~1 mile to the start as a warmup. Skipped bag dropoff for the same reason I don’t like checking bags while flying, did a quick pee (quick pee, long portapotty wait time), and went over to the corral.
My whole “thing” as a runner is that I’m deceptively fast — that is, that I’m most commonly the least-fit looking person out of the people running equivalent paces to myself. When I started running, that gave me a bit of imposter syndrome; any more, I draw on it for motivation. So as I was waiting in Corral C to start, I realized I felt a lot of pressure — to be able to deliver on being fast, to prove that I’m actually fit, whatever. No one outside of myself cares, obviously. But that’s now how this stuff works.

The First 10k — Would’ve Been Great If This Was a 10k

My pacing plan was as follows: don’t exceed 7:00 pace at any point in the first 7 miles; aim for ~7:30-7:45 going up Prospect Park’s big hill; use the downhill at 10k to catch my breath; and use the last 7 miles down Ocean Ave to winch down on speed if I was feeling good, or just hold around 7:05 if I was spent.
I was able to hit the first half of this plan pretty well, as my splits up top suggest. But I could tell, starting as I ran around GAP and into the park, that I was working too hard — the effort I was expending was too much. As I reflect on it now, I realize I was probably in ~1:35 shape (~7:15 splits); but I stubbornly refused to drop down in pace. I noticed my heart rate was in the high 170s as I ran through Prospect Park, where my HM pace usually puts me at 165 on the dot. I tried to tell myself it was race excitement + caffeine. [Arrested Development Narrator Voice: It wasn’t.]
I hit the 10k mark at 45 minutes pretty much on the dot. My 10k PR is 44:0-something. This is when I realized my pacing was probably a bit on the screwed side. I’m fairly capable with distance, and am better at medium-exertion-long-distance than I am at hard-exertion-short-distance (my 10k predicts a slightly better 5k time than I currently race). I thought to myself: “Well, you can always just drop down a bit and hold. What’s the worst that can happen?”

The Worst That Can Happen: AKA You’ll Feel Pretty Silly When You Try to Tell Your 38.5 Week Pregnant Wife That Your Last 6 Miles Were Quote “Unimaginable Suffering” And It “Felt Like It Would Never End”

I had been under the impression that Ocean Ave would be a “gentle downhill,” but had never run it prior to the race. This, dear reader, is a lie. Somehow, the last 6 miles of the race are entirely uphill; or at least, that is what it’ll feel like if you go out 5% over your current level of fitness.
The sun really started to get to me; and while I’d had water & nutrition, my gut wasn’t enjoying it, and I didn’t feel energized or like any second wind was coming. I specifically remember that Mile 9 felt like it took 20 minutes to finish; the last 5k of the race simply wouldn’t arrive.
I pulled off to the side to slow down; first to 7:30, then 7:45, then 8:00, with no respite. My legs were heavy despite feeling fueled — I was just dyin’ out there. My wife had been texting encouragement during the race, and I managed to send her back from my watch at mile 9 “all goals are now out the window,” and it was just about finishing — first, to finish without walking. But I took 2 30-second walk breaks when the fatigue felt unendurable — pulling off to the side and counting down from 30, while getting passed.
That was another feature of the race that made it so challenging — that same dynamic of “being deceptively fast” that I mentioned above came back to bite me, as I got passed continuously by people who’d raced their fitness, rather than their goals, in the first half of the race. That demoralized feeling was incredibly difficult to handle. I hadn’t, before today, understood why someone would quit a race; and now, even though I didn’t quit, I get it.
As I passed mile 11, I realized that, while my initial goal was fully out the window, I could still PB the race, even though my pace between miles 9 and 11 was more than a minute off my goal pace; I’d just need to hold approximately 8:00 pace, and I’d be right up against my prior PB. That didn’t make anything any easier, but it did make me feel like the suffering had a point.
Got an encouraging text from my wife, found some other folks at ~8:00 pace, and tried to lock into that pace next to them. And then I just sort of suffered to the finish line. I don’t know what the views looked like; I’m not sure what the race atmosphere was like. I wish I’d paced myself better so I could have experienced that fully.

Post-Race: Why Don’t They Tell You That You Have to Walk Up Stairs To Get Out of Cyclone Stadium BEFORE You Go Into the Stadium?

Got medal, got water. Drank about 5 consecutive cups of water, and then exited the boardwalk. Texted my wife that it’d been really hard but I finished, and right as I did, a critical mass of finishers arrived such that cell service got knocked out for everyone. Thus began the Long Night of The Soul for me at Cyclone stadium.
I walked in, walked around, realized there wasn’t anything I wanted to do in there, and then tried to go back out; at which point I was told “Exit is out that way,” and I said, “I can’t just go back out? I gotta go upstairs to leave, after running a race? That’s the rule?” The guy who told me didn’t deserve my sass; and I deserved to not go up stairs. Oh well.
I managed to get up the stairs without cramping up (though it was close). I went and looked out over Surf Ave, at everyone walking to and from the race, and just got to sit with my thoughts for a bit. I got myself a bit choked up & had a very dignified little cry at this realization, which I think does fully distill my feelings about the race: “I feel like I tried my hardest, but I don’t feel like I did my best.” I think that we often treat those two statements like they’re interchangeable, but there’s actually a bit of space between those ideas, and my race fell into the gap between them. I both tried very hard the entire time, but also, I could have done a better job pacing myself and picking target times. That disappointment is rough.

To Do Better Next Time

So to conclude this whole long sad love letter to learning: some takeaways, ranked from Most Transferrable (re: life skills) to Most Specific.

1. Actively listen to ya dang body, fool

Self-explanatory: by setting a goat at the outset of training, and then sort of driving toward it without respect for a lot of recently-added stressors in my life, I didn’t end up running any faster — I just made the running I did do kind of miserable. Next time I intend to use HR & Effort (together!) as a better indication of the pace my body feels comfortable running during the race. We say so much “Trust the taper,” and I think here I’d benefit from reminding myself, “… buuuut the taper doesn’t make impossible things possible.”

1. Don’t invest so heavily in the quant goal

I got very invested in how proud I would be if I managed to achieve the goal, and that forward-projecting is part of what caused me to overshoot the goal in the first place. Next time around I want to have a process goal to the tune of “Enjoy the race while trying to wring out your body like a washcloth.” Or something; I have time to plan.

1. Lose 15-20 pounds.

I’m 5’9; I’m strong and I’m heavy. My running has kind of been those two vectors pointing against each other the whole time. But I think I’m at the point where, if I want to be able to sustain 7:00 speeds for more than a 10k, I need to lose some of the excess weight I’m holding onto. I could also do strength training, but I’ve got a baby on the way; heart tells me that getting 7-10% lighter will be a lot easier than getting 7-10% stronger.
So that was training, goals, and next steps. Hopefully, by seeing my mistakes, you’ll be able to avoid them yourself in the future. Hopefully!
Made with a new race report generator created by herumph.

I have been on the waitlist with my AD for 7 years for a GMT II. During that time I have purchased $40k in jewelry and $50K on several non-Rolex time pieces. I did everything right to build a relationship with my AD (coffee and warm croissants twice a week, tickets for sporting events, etc…). I have even bought an Explorer and DJ that my AD offered me in order to stay on the list. But it is always the same thing: I am told to “hang in there a bit longer”, or I get the call only to have them sell the piece out from under me to a VP before I can get there to pick it up. 😔
I finally decided to go for the Hail Mary. See, my wife and I have been growing apart. My rep at the AD is a stunningly gorgeous young lad named Derek. I offered him my wife. He said yes. Sigh…
Of course, Madeline would never go for it. So I told Derek that the only way she would do it is if she can incorporate her rape fantasy into the liaison. Derek readily agreed. It seemed that when I told him about this he became even more interested. I guess the whole thing aroused him.
In fact, Madeline does not have a rape fantasy. But I figure, you know, it will be dark in the house when Derek arrives, so there is no way she can ID him (I would not want Derek going to jail before I could get my GMT II, you know). I even gave Derek a ski mask to wear, telling him it was part of the fantasy. I also told him to use a lot of “street talk”, because her fantasy involves a black man.
Then tragedy struck. Somehow during the tussle between Madeline and Derek, she grabbed the .357 magnum I keep in the nightstand and shot and killed Derek. I could not believe my luck!! 7 years of building this relationship with Derek … pissed away, down the fucking drain!!
To make matters worse, Madeline noticed that the perp was wearing my PP Naughty she gifted me on our 5th anniversary. I had given it to Derek to deepen our relationship. I tried to clear things up by suggesting he stole it from me. But I am afraid Madeline will figure it out (she is always watching “Law and Order”).
There is only one solution I can come up with for this problem. I am going to go gray. Thoughts?
Sasquatch_Jihad

I’m (18F) not a spiritual person; I’ve struggled with that my whole life. But, due to family conditions, I go to church (Orthodox). I was up late with my sister last night, talking about my struggles with faith, amongst other things, including love. I’ve always had the irrational fear that I will never be loved in the way I need to. In the way I deserve. Between this fear, and desperately searching for some sort of sign of God, I’m a mess. But today, after venerating the icons in church, I caught this new guy looking at me. He looked away, but then we made eye contact again. I felt seen. I felt like this man saw into my soul and understood me. He’s certainly attractive; he’s very soft looking. But I don’t feel excessive sexual desire towards him. I feel a sort of love. A love of his soul. Is it a coincidence? After months of praying to someone I’m not entirely sure exists, to find someone who sees me? I’m way too shy to speak to him, but through a friend, I learned that he moved to the state permanently, so I’m likely to see him again. He’s also quite a bit older than me (6 years-24M) but I’ve never seen age gaps as a problem. I feel so drawn to him, and I haven’t even talked to him. What do I do? I don’t want to let him pass by but I can’t be sure he feels the same. Am I entirely delusional?

To start, I’m looking for criticism and hole poking. So downvote if you must, but at least explain why so I can help my own understanding. Thank you!
This is from a comment I made yesterday. I’m working through my own understanding of this and an interested in feedback and criticism. But part of my view is a critique of the moral/civil/ceremonial division of the law. I understand that a division of the law is seen by both Sts Augustine and Thomas Aquinas (though a bit differently). I’m not debating the patristic tradition, but rather the underlying logic those saints used.
I also recognize there is another tradition which states most of the laws given at Sinai were given because of the golden calf incident and thus were abolished by Christ (this is found in the apocryphal apostolic constitutions If I remember correctly). But again, I question the logic.
The reason I question this logic is this: why would Matthew include the “fulfill not abolish” language in his Gospel if this statement ceased to be of importance after the ascension (when the book was written, assuming the tripartite division, in effect, abolishes 2/3 of the law for the Christian). I also question the natural law methodology for determining what is moral law. I understand a “moral” act as an act that God says is good. Since all goodness is of God, then anything commanded by God would be considered moral to obey. Thus, even minor “ceremonial” laws would be considered moral to obey and immoral to violate. This would effectively render every law of the Torah a “moral law”.
Anyway, on to my proposition. I don’t claim to have patristic evidence for this framework. But this framework does arrive at a very similar effect for the average Christian as the tripartite division does, but it gets there in a very different way, one that makes WAY more sense in my brain. So if y’all can poke holes, please do. If yall can show I’m wildly misunderstanding the tripartite division or natural law or morality, please do.
This particular area I’ve been doing A LOT (last 6-9 months) of soul searching/prayer and study on because I don’t like the “moral/ceremonial/civil” distinction. I don’t think the Torah makes any such distinction and that the distinction only works when read back onto the Torah in light of church teaching. Which is FINE and good for arriving at an answer as a Catholic. But I don’t think it’s the logic the 1st and 2nd generation church would’ve used.
We keep the whole law of the Old Testament; Christ came to fulfill, not abolish. The difference is that it doesn’t quite look the same because

1. ⁠We assume the ancient Israelites enforced the Torah EXACTLY the way it’s read. Break a law? Straight to stoning. But this isn’t how it worked. There were courts and burdens of proof. AND there was a chance for repentance. King David, a man after God’s own heart commits murder AND adultery (and tacitly admits to it when confronted) and yet he repents! By some modern folks reading he should’ve been executed according to the Torah.
   
2. ⁠Christ has come. The thing that the entire OT was building up to happened. So our understanding of things changed. The covenant with Noah didn’t negate the covenant with Abraham, but things certainly look different after Noah. Same with Noah to Abrahamic covenant. Same when the covenant is given through Moses as Mt Sinai. The old is not abrogated, but it is built upon and things after look very different.
   

So, where are all the cleanliness laws, sacrificial laws, feasts, ritual washings etc etc? Well, it’s baked into the new covenant and by extension the church. Some examples:

1. ⁠Sacrificial law: Christ IS most of those sacrifices. He is a sacrifice of thanksgiving (Eucharist literally means thanksgiving), a sacrifice for sin (by his stripes we are healed), a Passover sacrifice (through which we are spared death and brought to life), the day of atonement sacrifice (he is both goats, the goat that takes away the sin and the goat who’s blood purifies the whole camp, now understood to be the whole earth). We still have morning and evening sacrifices (Lauds and Vespers, sacrifices of praise, in the Latin tradition). We still do incense offerings even at Mass and more traditional lauds and vespers celebrations.
   
2. ⁠Cleanliness: this one is entirely wrapped up in the day of atonement. If his blood cleanses the whole world, how can something be called intrinsically unclean? This means that nothing (including food, clothing, or people) are intrinsically unclean. Rather we (and objects) are defiled by what we do (or how it is used). Thus we are still not to have anything to do with unclean things, but what exactly is unclean has changed. You can see this in the fact we purify/cleanse altars that have been desecrated.
   
3. ⁠Ritual washings: baptism, holy water before entering the church, sprinkling over people at high feasts, foot washing
   
4. ⁠Feasts: Pentecost was an Israelite holiday that we still celebrate, Passover is Easter, feast of booths is transfiguration, etc. we just have them renamed for they BECAME to us through the establishment of the new covenant
   
5. ⁠Tabernacle/temple construction: traditional church architecture still abides by the general layout. Holy of Holies: tabernacle and sanctuary. Holy place: knave. Inner court: vestibule. Outer court: the world. Through Christs redemption everyone has moved a step closer to God. Those of relegated to never being in the temple are always in the outer court. But we can all enter the inner court (vestibule). The holy place is not relegated to just priests, but the priesthood of all believers (Catholics in the knave). The priests can all now go into the holy of holies (sanctuary/tabernacle). And instead of one priest once a year going in to God, God comes out to us in the Eucharist.
   
6. ⁠As for the remaining punitive laws, most people only have issue with the penalties assigned. But we’ve already talked about under what circumstances those penalties would be enforced. Basically you had to be unrepentant. So in the Christian understanding, what is consequence of sin? Death. What is death? Well there’s physical death (separation of soul from body) and there’s spiritual death (separation of soul from God). A person who lives in sin without repentance is dying or dead (venial vs mortal sin). And when recognized by the church in a lot of cases an excommunication would be pronounced. This separation from the church, separation of a branch from the true vine. A branch separated is dead. So we don’t execute people as the church, but the church long recognized the civil government’s authority to do so. And even without that, sin is death, and excommunication is death. But it’s important to note that in NO way was the average Israelite running around pronouncing death penalties on people. They had courts and priests that did this. Same as we have tribunals and priests and bishops who do this.
   
7. ⁠Circumcision: this is fulfilled with baptism. It’s the outward sign of entrance into the people of God. Circumcision to become a part of the OT people of God and baptism for the New covenant people of God.
   
8. ⁠A lot of the specifics are alterable with time and circumstance (Jesus gives the apostles this authority with the ability to “bind and loose”). Even in the OT this happened between exodus law in the wilderness vs changes that happen with Leviticus and Deuteronomy since they’re readying to enter the promised land and not be a nomadic people in the wilderness. And even by extra biblical accounts, the specifics had changed a bit in the rituals by the time of the second temple era. Yet Jesus still tells the people to submit to the valid authority of the religious leadership of the day; he notably doesn’t tell them to interpret the Torah for themselves and correct the instructions of priests and rabbis.
   

So practically speaking, yes the triple category can still be laid out. Our ceremonial law is more governed by our liturgical books than Leviticus on a literal front, and our civil law is found in Canon law now, and moral laws (as we have defined the moral life) is still found in the OT among many other places. But all of it is still rooted in what the people of God have been practicing since Mt Sinai though.
Again, my issue with the logic used by fathers in making their determination. I have issue with the practical effect of what they are teaching, and I strongly revere their perspectives. But given there is difference in understanding in tradition, I thought it worth diving in on as something that’s always confused me.

We’ve had issues with our neighbors basically since they moved in. The wife is batshit crazy and lives in a reality that can only be medically induced. They are convinced we turned them in for their satellite dish, even tho we did not and could not care less about what they do on their house. WE got a “violation” bc our trash cans were outside our garage/ on the side of our house (clutch your pearls folks, we have garbage - no there was no overflow, the lids were closed, they just aren’t supposed to be “visible”). Anyway my husband had made a post in the FB group that it was stupid that the HOA is worried about trash cans and satellite dishes instead of things that actually matter and they took that as “proof” he turned them in. Like wtf. See batshit crazy again. The next issue was they built their fence directly on the property line, a fact that was confirmed by the city (remember this it’s important later on). Which means they had to come into our yard to trim this side of the fence. Which is whatever, but then they start using our yard to get to the back side of their fence. Which is annoying but we didn’t say anything as we start planning to build our own fence. We called the city to ask about them building on the property line and if we can also do that - it doesn’t seem fair to give up part of our lawn bc they built on the line. Anyway the town guy comes out and confirms they are on the line and while he is here, their dogs (two big rotties and a pit) are pacing the fence, growling and going on like the normally do. They have a 4ft wrought iron fence bc they are by the retention pond. He asks my husband “are the dogs always like this?” He says yes and they go on talking about the fence. The next day, the town guy comes by and give me a packet that is basically a town violation for their dogs being aggressive. I ask him why he is doing this bc it’s just going to make our relationship worse and that we didn’t call him for the dogs, we only asked him about the ordinances relating to the fence. He tells me “well I saw it, so I have to do something about it”. I have this conversation recorded on our doorbell camera. A few days later I catch them outside and try to explain what happened and how it went wrong and realize the town guy totally threw us under the bus and told them we called about the dogs. It was a heated exchange and while I think the husband could be reasoned with, the wife just keeps going and running her mouth. So I call the town guy and ask wtf man and he tells me the same that my husband DID call about the dogs. Which I ask my husband to send me the emails bc town guy is gaslighting me hard. I get the emails and they are ONLY about the fence so we realize town guy is a spineless mfer and as soon as crazy wife started yelling at him, he blamed us. And they already hate us, so why wouldn’t they believe him. I have the videos, emails and recorded the phone call with town guy, not that they would be able to have a rationale conversation. Now we’ve built our fence and there a major weeds between the fences; we feel like whelp, sucks to be them - they should have built their fence off the line enough to access that space. And we mowed earlier today and then he mowed later, he left a line/patch down the property line just to be a dick. While my first instinct is to be petty, I’d like to just bury this nonsense. You worry about your house/yard and we do the same. I don’t want to be friends with them but I am exhausted with the hostility. How do I extend an olive branch of mutual indifference?

I heard about Silent Hill: Ascension awhile back and when I realized it wasn't really even a game but a cash grab, I forgot all about it. But a live streamer I watch often watched all of Silent Hill: Ascension shortly after it completed and I couldn't help but watch along. It is, without a doubt, the worst thing I've ever watched. I couldn't help but continue to watch just to see where it went, or if it would go anywhere at all.
I'm not even going to talk about the predatory monetization or the "gameplay", as that's a whole other topic. I'm just going to rant about the story itself.
Watching this show is like being in one of those anxiety dreams. Like you're trying to get somewhere but things keep happening that slow you down. That's this show. A couple things happen at the very beginning, a couple of people die, the Silent Hill-effect rolls into two separate towns, and monsters show up. That's the first half hour. Then a bunch of nothing happens for hours. Well, not nothing, but things just kind of happen.
As an example, a character dies and her husband, Karl, is accused of murder. We get an hour of a police investigator, Olivia, yelling at Karl that he needs to confess. Then it is revealed the wife died from her illness, not foul play. Wow, very exciting. Then we're told the wife's body is stolen and desecrated. We don't SEE this. We're just told this. It isn't even told how the body was desecrated, or who stole it, or why it was stolen in the first place other than the wife was a hated person around town. It's just a thing that happens so the writers can fill in a bit more time.
This happens over and over again, several times with all the characters. And the characters! When they're not being the most hateable characters around, they're the most boring. Everyone is so wrapped up in their soap-opera drama, they can be forgiven for forgetting that monsters are roaming around town and creepy shit is happening.
Characters have either no personality, or their personality keeps changing. A character can switch from being a cold-hearted bitch one scene, to a concerned and caring mother the next. Barely anyone has a story arc. Things just happen and people roll with it. A character bumps into a freaky monster in one scene so what do they do? Do they try to leave town? Report it to the police? No, they just forget about it and focus on whatever mild drama is happening at the time.
The monsters themselves, while they look creepy, get old very quickly. There's only like four or five different type of monsters and they get wheeled out every few minutes or so. They don't do much except stumble around, make scary noises, and then leave the scene. Only a few times do they attack people, and it's usually no-namers.
Speaking of that, apparently the game had some kind of feature where people's avatars would be inserted into the story. So you have goofy-looking people constantly wandering around the scene, say a few lines, and then you never see them again. It's very distracting and pointless.
In addition to that, apparently this story was a choose your own adventure story. And it's obvious in places where these choices were made, but when watched without the context of these choices, the story is an incoherent mess. It probably explains why characters behave so erratically sometimes.
The only smart thing the writers did was write two stories that take place between two towns so they can constantly cut to the other town's story. This helps mask the absolute train wreck of each story. However this has the disadvantage of destroying the story's sense of time and place. I don't know how much time even passes over the course of the story. Days? Weeks? Months? I have no idea. And people keep teleporting all over the place. One scene has a character reading stories to their kid and the next they're at the local cult headquarters arguing about rituals or some shit. If you edited the story to show a single town's story at a time, it'd probably give you whiplash seeing people just teleport all over the place. It doesn't help that there are basically no establishing shots ever used either.
Nothing is ever explained as well. I'm still not sure what caused these two separate towns to get Silent Hill-ified. They also have a stupid name for it: The Withering. People try various things to stop the Withering to no avail. No connection between these towns is made except near the end when a few people bump into each other when they're in this show's version of the Otherworld.
This show has no relation to Silent Hill other than there's a creepy fog, creepy otherworld, and creepy creatures. But the creatures have no symbolism associated with the characters and no one's backstory is really associated with the curse either, with exception to a cult that seems to be completely incompetent in stopping the curse. Neither the town of Silent Hill or any of the characters from the previous games are mentioned.
On top everything I just said, the horrible voice acting, laughably bad animation, ever basic horror trope thoughtlessly slapped in for no reason, and lack of interesting action scenes makes Silent Hill: Ascension the worst thing I've ever seen. If you watch it, watch it with other people for a laugh.

Hi all!
My name is Jena! I am female, 30 years old, I am an Aquarius, and I never done something like this before. I have been a gamer for about as long as I could get my hands on a game, however growing up in a family that was not particularly into video games made that fairly difficult. I grew up playing Neopets, Runescape, The Sims, and other old classics on my computer. I didn't get my first gaming console until I was 18. Unfortunately, at 18 I had to try and be an adult and that left little time or money to play and build up a game library, but I started. 12 years later I am out of a controlling relationship (part of what he controlled was my spending habits) and I am still slowly trying to build up my collection of games. I was unfortunately left with all the shared debt between us, so despite working full time, all my money goes to bills and debts for the next few years until I can dig my way out. It means a lot to me to be able to relax and enjoy myself on my days off, and playing games is one of my favorite ways to do that.
About the game V Rising
First of all, if you don't have this game maybe you should get it for yourself. V Rising is described on steam as "Awaken as a Vampire. Hunt for blood in nearby settlements to regain your strength and evade the scorching sun to survive. Raise your castle and thrive in an ever-changing, open world full of mystery. Gain allies online and conquer the land of the living." It is a multiplayer, open world survival, base building game. I am a huge RPG fan and love open world survival games. I have more recently expanded into base building games, and man I wish I had known those were a thing a long time ago. I also love Vampires and a game with all of these elements has me extremely interested in playing, which is how I ended up here. I have actually tried to limit what I know about this game as I very much enjoy immersing myself in the lore and learning the story as I go. I have watched a limited few videos on gameplay but I am always weary of spoilers, so I didn't want to watch anything too in depth.
Thank you so much for learning a bit more about me and V Rising, and if I didn't convince you to gift me V Rising, I hope you will at least consider trying it for yourself, lol. :) Seriously though, thank you for taking the time to read this, and have a fantastic day. <3
[V Rising Link](https://store.steampowered.com/app/1604030/V_Rising/)
[My Steam Page](https://steamcommunity.com/id/crazycatsiste)

Im a mom of four .. I was able to breastfeed my third baby well I would pump it and bottle feed her but it was a lot for me and I remover I hated it but my baby had the best nutrition ever ! And I was proud of that … but this time idk why it’s even harder .. I feel like all I do is feed her, pump and sleep … I hate my life right now sometimes I get the urge of just walking away and just ending my life … I never want to hurt my baby or anyone else just myself like if I take myself out of the equation I’ll rest… my husband helped for one week the one week he was out of work for the birth of the baby and now he is just so tired … HE IS TIRED 💀… I feel like punching him every time I see him napping or sleeping … I don’t sleep all night .. this guy put the two older kids in baseball and soccer and he’s made me take them to their games because he can’t make it because of work … two weeks after a C-section … I hate him so much right now … I can’t even look at him ! He doesn’t even spend time with me , he’s home and he’ll be downstairs watching his games , or he will go play his softball games , we’re in bed together and he’s on his phone or just falls asleep because he is so tired …
He had a instagram account and he kept sending videos and pictures of models with big butts and boobs .. to his friends and telling them how he wants to f them raw or all these things … he also has a Reddit account and o here all he follows is women that do porn, and he comments and just looks at porn every day … while he’s at work he doesn’t talk to me he doesn’t text me … idk if it’s because I can’t have sex right now because of my C-section … but the only way he will talk to me is if we’re talking about his sexual fantasies … or anything sexual … that’s the only way I’ll get him to talk to me all day .. the only way we can hold a conversation is if we’re talking about sex … he doesn’t care to know if I’m ok , if I’m in pain, if I’m tired… nothing … idk why he is with me to be honest … the girls he follows and comments under and wishes he could take to bed look nothing like me at all … first of all I’m huge right now because I just had a baby , and even when I lose weight I don’t have a small waist , I’m not a big butt girl or even big boobs … I feel like I want to walk away because I want a man that finds me attractive, that wants to be with me, that doesn’t need sex to connect with me … I feel so ugly right now and he’s not helping at all he makes me feel uglier and disgusting… I don’t even want him to look at me naked or even touch me …

should i just perfect for guys to keep them?
tell them nothing?
i only told him my panic disorder, my fear for the future and how i hated my living situation
he was a rich trust fund kid so ya thx
if i had no flaws would i keep a man?
never be vulnerable?
am i supposed change things outta my own control and not share them with people?
this dude talked about suicide with me for weeks
he told me all of his baggage
im so angry i told him alot of hurtful shit too
i hurt my heart so bad so ya he won
he got to me badly
i am insecure
i am very behind in life
i thought my vulnerability would help me relate with guys easier
now im gonna shut the fuck up

I was doing the cut up patch things with awesome results. I woke up dry almost every night!! So I asked to go up to the next dose (.075) and man, I got my ass kicked. I had two doses which coincided with a huge migraine (fine - expected), a goddamn period (again, whatever fine not unexpected), then another 1.5 weeks of horrible migraines. I just started steroids today to try and get rid of it.
HOWEVER, I did travel during this time to a very different climate to visit family (yeah, all of what that entails) and basically subsisted on birthday cake and Mexican food for a week. It was lovely but gross.
Should I just stick with the .075 and figure it's fine and that the migraines streak was due to all of these other factors? Like that many teensy micrograms isn't going to knock me straight into migraine hell forever, right? Or could it really have just tipped me over the edge into too much estrogen?

Last week's post https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cqj7kc/roundup_ufos_anomaly_network_app_countries_colors/
Archive
Moon phase waxing crescent, three days before half
Mars Right Ascension 0h 37m 40s
.1 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cqjbim/strange_explosions_in_the_sky/ sighting description, no craft, at home, urban area, England the UK 🇬🇧, nighttime, flareup, appeared out of nowhere, explosion, it was like an ourburst, almost like when a coronal mass ejection happens, the explosion went one way, covering half a circle going outwards. , brief duration 1-2 seconds, repeat visitor or second object, two witnesses, Around 5 min later it happened again, this time in another part of the sky., has anyone seen?
.2 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cqjmwu/remote_viewing/ discussion of remote viewing, perplexing success, I’ve been playing a remote viewing app for two weeks and want to know how it is working. I keep getting it right.
.3 https://old.reddit.com/StrangeEarth/comments/1cqj2p8/strange_blue_cloud_over_bostonquincy_last_night/ video, nighttime sky, cloud anomaly, blue 🔵, from car, stationary, urban area, near Boston, quincy Massachusetts
.4 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cqj6la/a_look_into_the_special_tactical_unit_detachment/ original research, documents, "Special Tactical Unit Detachment" , S.T.U.D.S. within Air Force budget requests
.5 https://old.reddit.com/StrangeEarth/comments/1cqktez/immense_beam_of_light_moving_across_the_moon/ sighting description, moon anomaly, contemporaneous report, has anyone seen?, pale white beam almost imperceptibly across the face of the crescent moon, traversing the face of the moon, vertical orientation
.6 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cqltyg/great_basin_experience/ sighting description, Great Basin National Park in eastern Nevada, nighttime, unusual animal activity Western Jay comes out of nowhere and gets mad at my presence. He's sailing around my head, making a racket. Normally I love birds, but this thing is freaking me out. After 5 minutes of this it flies away into the distance., subsequent single light object, ascending from horizon, approach, silent, duration 8 minutes,
.7 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cqm8s5/uap/ video, nighttime sky, single light object, very bright, contemporaneous report, northern lights, moving fast, silent, beetle 🪲 shape,
.8 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cqz2hb/all_the_relevant_uap_updates_from_may_612/ information, state of disclosure USA https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cqd2yw/mexican_and_peruvian_ufo_hearing_roundup_slow/ state of disclosure, Mexico and Peru
.9 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cqv3p4/seen_above_my_house/ photos, nighttime sky, single light object, over the witness home, silent, right angle turn, ascending, west coast of scottish highlands near the Island of Mull, Scotland the UK 🇬🇧, contemporaneous report, similar sighting same day in comments https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1crqcay/unknown_in_sky/ video, single light object, low over treeline, plane for comparison observed, over Oban,Scotland, downvoted to zero
.10 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cqmotu/ufo_in_linekin_bay_boothbay_harbor_maine_847pm/ video, nighttime sky, contemporaneous report, northern lights, single light object moving slowly, kept moving in short bursts and pausing in one spot. Then moved again. , moving and stationary and moving, subsequent repeat visitor or second object, two witnesses, over water, linekin Bay, Boothbay harbor Maine https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cr1oml/ufo_linekin_bayeast_boothbay_harbor_maine_5112024/ more video, previous night
.11 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cqmwax/hoping_this_sub_can_identify_what_i_saw_today/ sighting description, daytime, contemporaneous report, central Illinois, Duration 20 seconds, single dark object, possible manta shape, all black and shaped like a bird, moving fast and straight, disappeared into clouds, silent, similar sighting same day in comments
.12 ➡️ https://old.reddit.com/aliens/comments/1cqwpdx/i_worked_on_a_team_that_dealt_with_with_nhi/ sighting description, at work, entity, OP is a university professor currently, previous career in aviation, landed craft, crash retrieval, acorn 🌰 shape, shaped like a dreidel without the handle., The shape was directly informed by its purpose. Every shape is custom molded in a metallic material that would revolutionize the way we travel if we had it. , I'll call it crash recovery because that's what colleagues who are planning to come forward will call it, shootdown, the NHI look like the aliens from close encounters. As far as I know, we never had one alive.,NHI know we can track them, and know how to avoid us.,NHI are linked to their craft in a way that borders on biological. Security rule is people that mention the agency name are killed. It's not a question, and it happened during my time. You'll hear more about them as news about the retaliation Dave comes out., If the US comes out directly and says "We have craft, we have bodies", it means we are on the verge of a serious global conflict like we've never seen before. [GOODPOST], removed by mods, "NORAD leak", https://web.archive.org/web/20240513180353/https://old.reddit.com/aliens/comments/1cqwpdx/i_worked_on_a_team_that_dealt_with_with_nhi/ Archive https://web.archive.org/web/20240514184514/https://old.reddit.com/aliens/comments/1cqwpdx/i_worked_on_a_team_that_dealt_with_with_nhi/ updated archive https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cvs93o/new_paradigm_media_group_claim_that_an_uap/ hopefully unrelated
.13 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cqs35h/what_do_you_think/ photo, nighttime sky, contemporaneous report, northern lights, single light object moving fast, wavy trajectory, overhead, 5 second long exposure, Port Coquitlam - about 30 minutes outside of Vancouver Canada 🇨🇦, downvoted to zero
.14 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cr8pcu/what_did_i_catch_in_the_sky/ video, daytime cloudy sky, single light object stationary, just sat up there, duration a couple hours. And then it was gone.., vanished, Newport Oregon, near water pacific ocean, haze, disturbing the air around it, three witnesses , similar sighting in comments
.15 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cr9qj4_strange_lights_moving_back_and_forth_while/ video, nighttime sky, northern lights, Pocatello Idaho, threelights observed, flying in triangle formation, crossing directly in front
.16 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cr1clw/taken_over_a_lake_in_prince_edward_county_ontario/ video, nighttime sky, over water, lake, prince Edward County Ontario Canada 🇨🇦, twolights, appeared out of nowhere, stationary and moving slowly, descended below treeline
.17 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cqreh8/very_bright_in_the_light_polluted_sky/ video, nighttime sky, single object blackwhite, low over rooftop, rockford Illinois, contemporaneous report, possible speed change, seems to maybe decelerate a couple times., very bright observed
.18 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cr6105/possible_uap/ video, nighttime sky, single light object, possible jumpy movement, speed change, seemed to really pick up speed then slow. , during northern lights, Eau Claire Michigan
.19 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cr3ioe/capturing_the_light/ photos, nighttime sky, single light object moving, near water, lake Michigan , irregular shape, elongated, worm 🪱, haze,
.20 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1crboq1/ufo_sighting_honolulu_pt1/ video, daytime cloudy sky, fleet, at home, urban area, kakaako neighborhood of Honolulu Hawaii, contemporaneous report, one large orb and several smaller orbs all floating in a formation. , smaller objects accompany it, flying in formation, disappeared into clouds https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1crbzky/ufo_sighting_honolulu_pt2/ more video
.21 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1crbj6x/summoning_ufos/ discussion of human initiated contact
.22 https://old.reddit.com/HighStrangeness/comments/1cqu4hw/saw_two_translucent_tailed_orbs_in_the_sky/ sighting description, has anyone seen?, nighttime, contemporaneous report, northern lights, duration 10 seconds, twolights, moving fast, trail, flying in formation, see through head with a long skinny white tail that left a trail of glowy light as they moved. One of them stopped moving, turned around then waited up for the other as it trailed behind and when it caught up they kinda just disappeared., northern Washington state near Canada 🇨🇦
.23 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1crdy05/51024_sw_wa/ video, nighttime sky, northern lights, single light object moving, at home, backyard, witness followed it, electronic effects camera battery died, possible speed change, possible trajectory change, disappeared behind rooftops, southwest Washington state, similar sightings same area and day in comments, [GOODPOST]
.24 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cremtj/my_great_uncle_told_me_about_a_crash_retrieval/ sighting description, family story, crash retrieval, military, Salar de Uyuni desert Bolivia 🇧🇴 , USA military response, He described the ship to have flickering lights of several colors and saw the Americans retrieving some pieces from that ship, alongside some organic material that looked like deceased beings
.25 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1crgxgt/3_lights_in_sky/ photos, nighttime cloudy sky, threelights, during northern lights, not seen by eye, Columbia South Carolina
.26 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1crk806/orb_over_lake_while_watching_the_aurora_lights_in/ video, nighttime sky, over water, Elbow Lake Michigan, during northern lights, three witnesses, single light object, hexagon shape with a circular light in the center. https://old.reddit.com/useDry-Ant3194/comments/1crwmun/screenshots_of_orb_over_lake_2nd_photo_shadow_was/ screenshots , multicolored, haze, cloud of all the colors dancing around it., duration 2 minutes
.27 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1crkaw4/some_advice_plz/ sighting description, two witnesses, nighttime, from car, Bourbon County Kansas, single light object stationary, low over treeline, reaction to being observed, approach, flareup, light shining in car, directly in front, went from a fixed position in the trees to nearly in front of my truck while at the same time focusing what I can only describe as the brightest light I'd ever experienced at night before. , jumpy movement, missing time
.28 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1crjw5j/extremely_bright_light_flying_towards_my_plane/ sighting description, from airplane, single light object, approach, over water Atlantic Ocean, daytime cloudy sky, light shining in airplane, physical effects paralysis, As I first saw the light my first reaction was that I froze for a few seconds in confusion. , interaction with airplane, flew overhead, witness looked away and looked back, vanished, duration 10-12 seconds,
.29 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1crh1go/recreating_something_i_saw_when_i_was_young/ childhood sighting description and reference image, at home, nighttime, witness woke up, threelights, barbell shape, outside window, stationary, duration 10 minutes, audio description loud buzzing., emotion of fear, witness left the area, new Hampshire
.30 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cr8ir4/seen_in_cornwall_uk/ photo, nighttime sky, cloud anomaly, disappeared, possible single object blackwhite, possible camera artifact, not seen by eye, at home, Cornwall the UK 🇬🇧
.31 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1crusrv/seeing_strange_things_while_recording_the_arora/ video, nighttime sky, fleet observed, multiple objects, one following another, LOTS of strange glowing round things. They would appear for 20-30 seconds and float across just a small area, and then they would disappear., each duration 20-30 seconds, Chattanooga Tennessee
.32 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1crzbcg/i_need_help_to_try_to_understand_what_i_saw/ sighting description, Sao Paulo Brazil 🇧🇷, nighttime sky, single light object, blinking, stationary, duration 10-15 minutes, The light would turn off and on in a regular interval (around 13 seconds)., repeat visitor, contemporaneous report
.33 https://old.reddit.com/aliens/comments/1cr8t6q/am_i_seeing_things_round_2/ video, nighttime sky, single light object, doughnut 🍩 shaped, moving straight
.34 https://old.reddit.com/HighStrangeness/comments/1crmukh/speaking_owls/ childhood sighting description, sister of OP, at home, nighttime, outside bedroom window, entity, owl, communication, repeat visitor, family history, her eldest son (who was around 7-8 at the time) woke the house up screaming. He was terrified and shaking and she asked him what happened and he told her an owl came and spoke to him “in his head.” , telepathy, emotion of fear
.35 https://old.reddit.com/HighStrangeness/comments/1crhdyo/my_cousin_and_i_charged_a_shadow_figure_when_we/ childhood experience description, three witnesses, entity, shadow figure, combat, My cousin and I looked back at each other and my cousin just screamed at me “LETS GET HIM!”. Before I could say anything my cousin just bolts at this guy, and I ran right behind him., witness followed it, it was not running fast at all, the way it ran looked super weird, its kind of hard to explain, its limbs moved like a human, but it looked like it was running in slow motion. Its head was slightly tilted back as it was jogging, almost as if it was looking up at the sky. , looked away and looked back, vanished
.36 https://old.reddit.com/HighStrangeness/comments/1crlbtp/what_do_you_think_of_this_experience_visitation/ experience description, at home, nighttime, inside bedroom, witness woke up, audio description high frequency sound in the room, almost like when something electrical is plugged in and you can just hear it. A neon sign kind of. , approach, very loud, It stops, and I start to hear this rustling coming from behind me, I think, “What the fuck IS that??”, wtf_is_that, communication, I get a flash of a sentence through my head that doesn’t feel like a thought from me but a message from someone else: “Don’t be scared.”
.37 https://old.reddit.com/aliens/comments/1crnkz7/cool_dream_about_ufos_in_a_hanga dream description, UFO's being shown to a group of people, it was in a very large hangar, the alien body was probably about 7ft that was lying down and the craft was tiny, maybe the size of a small table., the craft would expand towards the 3 pilots to become much larger, using their minds to do this, it would then mold to their forms to enable a space to pilot it, the material was almost like a moving graphete.
.38 https://old.reddit.com/aliens/comments/1crfo0y/did_i_see_a_ufo_anyone_got_a_logical_explanation/ sighting description and reference image, circular shape, at home, nighttime cloudy sky, spinning, The patterns/shapes/geometrics that made up the circle were ones I had never seen before, The Circle was spinning non stop and it was like the outside of the circle would collapse into the centre and then it would come out again to full size, has anyone seen?
.39 https://old.reddit.com/ufo/comments/1crs234/was_trying_to_get_a_photo_of_the_northern_lights/ photo, nighttime sky, during northern lights, urban area, Glasgow Scotland the UK 🇬🇧, not seen by eye, fleet or single object multiple lights, green 🟢, hoax
.40 https://old.reddit.com/ufo/comments/1cqx075/3_lights_in_the_sky/ photo, nighttime cloudy sky, threelights, red and green 🔴🟢, low over treeline, camping, outback Australia 🇦🇺 , zigzag movements or wavy trajectory, moving from side to side going at some speed but as I took that photo they disappeared., reaction to being filmed, vanishing
.41 https://old.reddit.com/Glitch_in_the_Matrix/comments/1cs2rhi/lost_time_in_western_mass/ experience description, missing time, two witnesses, from car, the McDonalds in Hadley Massachusetts, there’s quite some fog. But that area has fog from time to time. And all the cars except for ours in the lot were gone too, automobile anomaly, old early 2000s suv pulled into the lot with zero noise. No engine sound, I didn’t noticed the light until it pulled over to my right front spot. It kinda seemed it just slide in with no friction or anything. , location anomaly, we somehow got into the lot across the street,,didn’t seem to take longer than half an hour., more than 3 hours just passed.
.42 https://old.reddit.com/astrophotography/comments/1crz21q/an_unknown_red_circles/ photo, nighttime sky, two objects, anomalous to witness, red 🔴, near water, Black Sea, 30 second long exposure
.43 reference ISS https://old.reddit.com/astrophotography/comments/1cru96d/iss/ photo, nighttime sky, international space station
.44 https://old.reddit.com/Glitch_in_the_Matrix/comments/1cro1y6/we_lost_about_4_hours_of_time_in_30_seconds/ experience description, around the Northampton - Luton area the UK 🇬🇧, from car, four witnesses, camping, went through a tunnel, 4 hours had passed in 30 seconds,
.45 https://old.reddit.com/BackwoodsCreepy/comments/1crldxd/sound_from_woods_in_pnw/ audio description, at home, outside, near water, hottub, backyard, pacific northwest, high pitched, smooth who sound. Almost like someone was singing the word “who”. But with a very elongated “ooo” noise. , brief duration 2-3 seconds, physical effects paralysis and goosebumps, repeat visitor, made two passes, has anyone seen?, similar experiences in comments
.46 https://old.reddit.com/BackwoodsCreepy/comments/1crky49/more_in_depth_story_from_northern_alaska/ experience description, northern Alaska, multiple witnesses, nighttime, at home, felt observed, In the willows stood 4-6 small people. They looked like anyone else in the village, but they wore clothes made of skins rather than newer materials brought in. Their eyes glowed and one bared its teeth. Thinking about this just freaks me out., in comments: The navy on Guam has a problem with the little people entering the navy magazine where they store a huge amount of ammo. The marine guards would see them constantly., entities
.47 https://old.reddit.com/StrangeEarth/comments/1crdvlz/petrified_and_floating_out_of_window/ experience description, at home, nighttime, witness woke up, light shining in bedroom window, physical effects paralysis, witness was pulled, I floated out of my bed and towards the bright light in the window and shortly after I have no memory., event amnesia, emotion of fear, eyes teared up, it is the most terrifying feeling I have ever experienced. I’m crying just thinking about it., similar experience in comments
.48 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cs7jje/fast_moving_ufo_seen_in_north_vancouver_051024/ video, nighttime cloudy sky, single light object moving and stationary, jumpy movement, possible trail, North Vancouver British Columbia Canada 🇨🇦, duration 14 seconds, moving erratically observed, during northern lights , OP comments downvoted
.49 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1csc0o6/ufo_spotted_on_flight_to_newark_nj/ sighting description and video, nighttime cloudy sky, from airplane, contemporaneous report, over water Atlantic Ocean, single light object stationary and moving, subsequent threelights, Another light appeared right next to it and was glowing a bit brighter. A third light appeared from the right and went towards to the other two on the left. At this point the second light that randomly appeared on the left disappeared, the other two dimmed a bit and disappeared as well after another minute., dimming, vanishing,
.50 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1css11t/odd_floating_object/ photos and video, daytime cloudy sky, contemporaneous report, single light object stationary, Bozeman Montana, duration 30 minutes, weather balloon? looks like a balloon with a nautilus style tail, white in the sun and gray with low cloud cover., weird shit, multiple witnesses
.51 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1csui87/what_is_this_object_suspended_in_air_above_poland/ video, daytime cloudy sky, single light object, elongated, trail, vertical orientation, contrails type, contemporaneous report, Szczecin Poland 🇵🇱, stationary, duration a couple minutes, low over treeline, downvoted to zero
.52 https://old.reddit.com/ufo/comments/1cs6rj4/ufo_experience/ childhood sighting description, nighttime, at home, single light object moving and stationary, emitting orbs, Travelling at a slow and smooth pace. Until suddenly it stopped in position and ten seconds later two orbs shot out (or three) and darted across the sky like bees. , emotional reaction awe and wondor
.53 https://old.reddit.com/HighStrangeness/comments/1csu1ex/saw_something_in_my_apartment/ sighting description, at home, entity, inside home, audio description chain jingling and a buzzing sound., I turn around and am immediately faced with what I'm going to describe as a gray, leaning around the corner with one three fingered hand touching the wall. It looks....insubstantial. Like it's made of smoke or fog., Southern Appalachia
.54 https://old.reddit.com/HighStrangeness/comments/1csmf1w/strange_message/ experience description, no craft, at home, nighttime, communication, "kaptia kapta kesta", has anyone seen?
.55 https://old.reddit.com/HighStrangeness/comments/1crpnrw/third_man_facto experience description, remote viewing, training
.56 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1csxiay/was_wondering_if_anyone_had_a_logical_explanation/ video, nighttime sky, single dim object, diffuse, low over rooftop, contemporaneous report, Rhondda Cynon Taff South Wales the UK 🇬🇧 , two witnesses, witness followed it, duration 30 minutes
.57 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1csyfuv/honestly_dont_know_what_to_say/ video, nighttime sky, single light object moving, blackwhite, multicolored, two witnesses, contemporaneous report, subsequent threelights flying in equilateral triangle formation, [GOODPOST], emotion of fear, witness left the area, Ireland 🇮🇪 , physical effects vibration
.58 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1csyob2/purchased_a_flir_unit_online_and_had_an_interest/ sighting, OP is not the witness, witness is a pilot, black triangle 🔺️, from airplane , removed by mods, similar sighting in comments: All Black triangle, no lights, no sound, super low and almost floating (given how slow it flew over). It must have been landing at Joint Base Lewis-McChord https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cszn08/i_purchased_a_flir_unit_online_and_had_an/ reposted , similar sightings in comments, [GOODPOST]
.59 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1ctd4qs/new_jersey_ufo/ video, daytime cloudy sky, new jersey, twolights, two dark objects, moving slowly, bird for comparison, metallic sphere observed
.60 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1ctb72t/strange_train_line_in_brazil_and_argentina/ video, from home security camera, single light object, elongated, Rio de Janeiro Brazil 🇧🇷, link to similar sightings in comments
.61 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1ct569h/unidentified_object_next_to_us_apache_helicopte photo, daytime sky, contemporaneous report, at home, helicopter for comparison, single dark object, manta shape, bird?, downvoted to zero
.62 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1ct5imq/ufo_sighting_when_i_was_a_kid_with_witnesses/ childhood sighting description, multiple witnesses, at home, nighttime, trampoline, British Columbia Canada 🇨🇦, fleet, wavy trajectory, red 🔴, Three or four maybe five red lights, orbs, circles, moving like a snake across the sky but then dissappear., vanishing, repeat visitor observed, other witnesses said it came back later.
.63 https://old.reddit.com/aliens/comments/1ct62su/help_i_think_i_saw_some_aliens/ sighting description, three entities, at home, nighttime, animal reaction dogs barking, 3 little blurry things came out of the trees and then suddenly became viewable. There was 3 aliens that were as tall as oompa loompas. They were skinny so skinny almost like walking sticks with a square shaped figure. They had binocular shaped eye ridge and they had yellow eyes that were sunken in and looked slanted., emotion of fear, witness left the area, trying to run but i fell on the ground they stared at me, and did a dance. , dancing, physical effects eyes teared up,
.64 https://old.reddit.com/ufo/comments/1csw5nx/fast_ufo_over_federal_hill/ photo, daytime sky, plane for comparison, single light object, federal hill new jersey, similar sighting with video in comments,
.65 reference Sirius https://old.reddit.com/astrophotography/comments/1ct9qvx/photographed_sirius_again_3rd_time_i_think/ photo, nighttime sky, the star Sirius, single light object
.66 https://old.reddit.com/StrangeEarth/comments/1ct3nhz/looking_for_possible_answers_on_what_this_light/ video, nighttime sky, from home security camera, single light object stationary, low below treeline, appearing and vanishing,
.67 https://old.reddit.com/astrophotography/comments/1csgkde/weird_artifact/ photo, nighttime sky, anomalous to witness, single light object moving fast
.68 https://old.reddit.com/RBI/comments/1cs74p5/what_are_these_stains_on_my_pillowcase_quarte photo of pillowcase, anomalous bloodstains, at home
.69 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1ctijey/what_is_in_our_sky/ photo, nighttime cloudy sky, cloud anomaly, contemporaneous report, These "clouds" formed and moved opposite other clouds,
.70 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1ctlrfive_literally_just_spotted_this_spherical/ video, daytime cloudy sky, contemporaneous report, single dark object, elongated, possible manta shape or metapod, disappeared into clouds, sphere observed, kent the UK 🇬🇧, 51° 16' 47.9964'' N, angled from the horizon , repeat visitors , video shows electronic effects camera glitching or jumpy movement , moving straight, dead weight just travelling farther and farther as though travelling into space. , downvoted to zero in 1 hour, OP comments downvoted
.71 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1ct5cdy/bright_orb_crossed_the_whole_sky_in_lancaster_ca/ video, nighttime sky, single light object, multicolored, orange 🟠 observed, near USAF, Edwards air force base, Southern California, three witnesses, during northern lights, very bright, completely silent and weirdly multi-colored / orange orb showed up to the far west over Lancaster and steadily moved eastward, over Edwards and disappeared over the eastern horizon.,
.72 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1ctpjk8/what_is_this_object/ video, daytime cloudy sky, single light object, diffuse, low over water, Central Finland 🇫🇮, yellowish, diffuse, moving slowly, looking around, [GOODPOST]
.73 https://old.reddit.com/HighStrangeness/comments/1ctnntx/i_just_saw_a_uap_for_the_first_time_now_what/ sighting description, daytime, contemporaneous report, fleet, circling each other, weaving, 9 white small dots all irregularly circling around each other at high speeds. The group moved from one end of the sky to the other in the space of about 5 minutes., plane for comparison observed, interaction with airplane, flew over plane, They appeared above the plane and to slow down when the plane passed., speed change, three witnesses, apathy in other witness, polarized sunglasses., possibly metallic, possible haze, urban area, Denver Colorado
.74 https://old.reddit.com/Skydentify/comments/1ctl6au/photo_from_my_hotel_room_in_denver_facing_west/ photo, nighttime sky, single light object, irregular shape, diffuse, angular, orange 🟠, contemporaneous report, no info from OP, urban area, Denver Colorado
.75 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1ctqx3k/strange_object_spotted_over_mod_base_raf/ video, nighttime sky, single light object, moving slowly and erratically, started flying around in different directions. , contemporaneous report, near air force base, the UK 🇬🇧, at home
.76 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1ctz4s640_res_thermal_uap/ video and drawing, nighttime cloudy sky, through thermal camera, repeat visitor, plane for comparison, contemporaneous report, Southern new jersey, previous sighting description single object elongated, oval-shaped, horizontal orientation, The bottom half of the oval had 3-4 circular heat signatures. It was about 2x bigger then the plane at 3:04 and maybe 2x closer. It was moving slowly., video shows single light object moving fast, moving straight observed https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cuohxo/plasma_like_uap_on_thermal_monocula same OP, different event, twolights, two witnesses, elongated, V-shaped formation, merging, nighttime cloudy sky, contemporaneous report, Blue Anchor New Jersey, OP comments downvoted, big debunker energy
.77 these were all removed, i guess https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cu67kc/the_vatican_supernatural_phenomenon_summary/ news, Vatican guidelines for supernatural events https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cu8xsc/newsnation_reporting_on_the_vatican_and_ufos/ more coverage https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cu983a/vaticans_new_classifications_of_phenomena/ categories of events https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cu67kc/the_vatican_supernatural_phenomenon_summary/ summary, guidance on how the Church should approach and discern supernatural phenomena, like visions and apparitions.
.78 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cua35x/interesting_lights_in_the_sky_near_san_jose_51424/ photos, near San Jose California, nighttime, not seen by eye, single light object moving, trail, haze, shape change, near water, Calaveras Reservoir
.79 https://old.reddit.com/RBI/comments/1cu4k43/vivid_memory_of_the_sky_exploding_help_me_figure/ childhood sighting description, two witnesses, at home, backyard, daytime, single light object, directly in front, massive ball of flames dead center in the sky. It looked like a big plane had exploded but it was very slowly still moving across the sky. , There were reds, oranges, and very bright yellows 🔴🟠🟡 coming from it, haze. And it was HUGE, like, the size of my palm but in the sky. , emotion of fear, witness left the area, audio description huge booming exploding sound, physical effects vibration, I can feel the sound wave hitting us., Southern Florida, Columbia space shuttle?
.80 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cu64ri/my_girlfriend_saw_a_ring_of_flashing_lights_in/ video, nighttime cloudy sky, fleet, circular formation, diffuse, spotlights type, low over rooftop, urban area, Kuala Lampur Malaysia 🇲🇾, downvoted to zero
.81 https://old.reddit.com/RBI/comments/1cucswq/strange_shuny_spheres_in_the_sky/ childhood sighting description, Canada 🇨🇦, daytime, multiple witnesses, fleet, blackwhite, approach, flew overhead, multiple objects grouped and floating together. They looks like perfect metal spheres about the size of beach balls. , metallic sphere, flying in formation, duration a few minutes
.82 https://old.reddit.com/signalidentification/comments/1cuay5a/144_mhz_weird_mirrored_signal/ signal anomaly, possible twolights
.83 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cue2zz/you_want_disclosure_come_to_brazil/ how-to, self disclosure, Brazil 🇧🇷
.84 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cueec7/think_i_just_had_my_first_ufo_sighting_today/ sighting description, contemporaneous report, daytime, twolights, I noticed in the sky a metal object, then I noticed one behind it, a few meters apart. silent, witness looked away and looked back, vanished, England the UK 🇬🇧, duration 3-4 minutes., cylindrical shape
.85 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cug426/can_anyone_explain_what_this_is/ video, nighttime sky, threelights, close line formation, horizontal orientation, horizontal trajectory, moving fast, low over treeline, from car, powerlines,
.86 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cuhrz9/i_took_this_video_of_ufos_in_the_night_sky_above/ video, nighttime cloudy sky, through infrared scope, near windmills, fleet, diffuse, moving fast and slowly, trajectory change, U-turn, circling, moving and stationary, spotlights type, at home, outside bedroom window, triangle formation,
.87 https://old.reddit.com/space/comments/1cuhsz7/stranger_told_me_knowing_what_is_on_top_of_saturn/ experience description, contemporaneous report, mysterious stranger, the planet Saturn, he asked me "do you know what is there?" I replied "no". He told me to look up "Saturn from the top view" and said that it's going to open my eyes and change my life.
.88 https://old.reddit.com/BackwoodsCreepy/comments/1cufrqh/encounter_with_a_black_wolf_creature_in_the/ dream description, repeat visitor, entity, Tennessee, Around the age of 12 or 13, I started having recurring dreams set in the forest, a place I frequently visited. In these dreams, I encountered a large black wolf with glowing red eyes., During my final dream involving the wolf, a woman's voice accompanied it. I recall her saying, "Do not fear the wolf." As the wolf circled me, I didn't feel fear but rather a deep sense of respect for its ancient power.
.89 https://old.reddit.com/HighStrangeness/comments/1cuf2co/my_experience_with_nhi/ experience description, had a bout of psychosis that involved/was caused by extended contact with a "non-human intelligence." Left me deeply traumatized and harmed but in a better place in my life than where I started. Don't fuck around and find out.
.90 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cui6zs/satellite_or_ufo/ video, nighttime sky, contemporaneous report, Qatar 🇶🇦, single light object moving, stars for comparison, trajectory change observed
.91 ➡️ https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cuwnbs/how_many_have_had_the_dream/ childhood dream description, at home, nighttime, eyes outside window, Puerto Rico 🇵🇷 , similar dreams in comments, entity, [GOODPOST]
.92 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cuwxug/ufo_or_is_this_just_a_plane_or_satellite/ video, nighttime sky, contemporaneous report, two witnesses, single light object moving, Gladwyne Pennsylvania near Philadelphia,
.93 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cukdcm/ufo_from_joshua_tree_national_park_522024/ video, nighttime sky, Joshua Tree National Park California, multiple witnesses, camping, single light object, plane for comparison, haze, When the cloudy aura dissipated a bit you could see had just two bright white lights from two ends of it., twolights, vanishing, possible departure upward, rocket launch? , silent
.94 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cunh7l/what_sightingevent_opened_your_mind_to_the/ discussion of sightings
.95 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cuqag5/guys_help_me_identify_this_thing_what_the_heck_is/ video, daytime cloudy sky, contemporaneous report, urban area, Los Angeles California, single dark object, elongated, worm 🪱, irregular shape, single flash, downvoted to zero, OP comments downvoted, V-shaped, shape change
.96 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cuxx9l/help_i_think_i_saw_a_ufo/ sighting description, contemporaneous report, nighttime, at home, light shining in bedroom window, single light object, approach, golden, flew over the witness home, emotion of fear, Southern Ontario Canada 🇨🇦, emotional reaction feeling shook, ongoing, I've been having a lot of strange experiences lately.
.97 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cupc7a/ufo_orb_light/ video, daytime sky, single dim object, low over treeline, disappeared behind treeline, moving slowly and fast, possible reaction to being filmed, speed change, Was floating for about 2 min before I started filming. Moved fairly quickly, disappeared behind tree line., duration two minutes, at home, backyard, possible military response helicopter , event amnesia
.98 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cut2f2/strange_sighting_in_netherlands/ sighting description, contemporaneous report, single light object moving, wavy trajectory, vanishing and reappearing or jumpy movement, two witnesses, silent, possible military response jets, After 5 minutes or saw we saw a plane fly in the same direction. Which was followed by another plane and third one which made a u-turn after a flashing light appeared in the direction the light flew in., nighttime, the Netherlands 🇳🇱
.99 https://old.reddit.com/HighStrangeness/comments/1cuvet2/second_moon_uap_in_virginia/ video, nighttime sky, single light object stationary, multicolored, low over treeline, repeat visitor, Virginia, over water, river where the Tye and James river meet, He said that it disappeared for a month or so (he stopped seeing it in the morning) and now it’s back!
.100 https://old.reddit.com/RBI/comments/1cux9gabout_45_years_ago_i_saw_a_black_figure_looking/ sighting description, entity, at home, outside window, animal reaction dog noticed it, black figure the the shape of a person's head looking through the window at me., witness looked away and looked back, vanished
.101 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cv2esis_this_a_ufo/ video, nighttime sky, hard to see, repeat visitor, Victoria British Columbia Canada 🇨🇦 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1ct988m/what_the_hell_is_this/ previous day, video, nighttime cloudy sky, single light object moving erratically, jumpy movement, trail, North Vancouver British Columbia Canada 🇨🇦
.102 https://old.reddit.com/UF0/comments/1cv0xjf/please_telll_me_what_this_is/ video, nighttime cloudy sky, urban area, threelights, triangle formation, low over rooftop, silent, there were a lot of planes going by. wayyyyyy more than usual., at home, similar sighting in comments
.103 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cv7yko/another_shitty_phone_video/ video, daytime cloudy sky, powerlines, single light object, Yucaipa California, first noticed from car, witness stopped the car and got out, reaction to being filmed, ascending, departure,
.104 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cv8xxb/2007_ufo_sighting_in_sf/ sighting description and reference image, family story, 1967 Albany New York state, at home, multiple witnesses, over the witness home, very large, it was huge and covered her house and part of the street., stationary and moving, sudden departure
.105 https://old.reddit.com/Glitch_in_the_Matrix/comments/1cv9qub/the_sky_went_marine_blue_and_looked_like_it_was/ sighting description, no craft, contemporaneous report, nighttime, single flash, blue 🔵, illuminating surroundings, darkness bright as day, the sky went totally bright like it was day. It had a marine blue tint to it and I could see the whole city. , brief duration 1 second, subsequent audio description huge bang sound in the distance,
.106 https://old.reddit.com/AnomalousEvidence/comments/1cv97u8/i_wanted_to_share_with_you_all_a_bit_of/ information, how to evaluate orb reports, [GOODPOST]
.107 https://old.reddit.com/UFObelievers/comments/1cv7hky/ufo_supercharged_my_powerbank_to_151_a_yea sighting, electronic effects camera battery died, but my PowerBank has been stuck at 151% since last year.
.108 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cvfe77/plasma_orb_created_with_electricity_and_a/ video, nighttime sky, from home security camera, single light object, downvoted to zero, OP comments downvoted, backyard, single light object moving erratically, microufo, low below rooftop, I checked my camera after hearing something jiggle my back storm door., reaction to being flashed with light, moving away, the orb kind of runs away fro

Name: man of stars Powers: The Visionary: Can turn imagination into reality. Erase: Allows them to erase anything in any universe. Holopsicon: Can rewrite the story of any character in their universe. The Hand: Allows them to erase any form of space. Infinity: Can create infinite space between themselves and an enemy. Book of the End: Can use victims' memories to alter reality. Wish Granting: Can do anything desired. Power of Chaos: Can alter reality at will. Gate of Babylon: Can summon millions of gods. Infinite Kugi Punch: Can deliver infinite punches in zero time. Vector Manipulation: Can control vectors. Imagine Breaker: Can neutralize any enemy power. Hakai: Can erase spirits and souls. Red Thread of Fate: Can control enemies' fates. Bites the Dust: Automatically kills those who come near their desire. Complete Hypnosis: Can control all senses of opponents. Authority of Vainglory: Can rewrite any phenomenon in their favor. Divine Protection: Can receive any divine protection. Egil Grone Angdroa (Anos): Can destroy thousands of worlds. Power of Friendship: Can instantly befriend anyone. Turn Null (Rimuru): Can delete infinite universes across timelines and dimensions. Gold Experience Requiem: Can reset any phenomenon to zero. All Fiction: Can deny aspects of reality, including death. The Almighty: Cannot be harmed by any force knowing or seeing the future. The End: Can copy any ability and use it to 1000% efficiency. Endless Nine: Completely immune to attacks. I Win (Featherine): Can decide if they win or lose. Gear 1-Infinity: Access to all Gear forms from One Piece. Absolute Destruction: Can destroy absolutely anything. Omnilock: Can exist outside of anything. Absolute Immortality: Can never die under any circumstances. OmniForm: Can create, destroy, or manipulate aspects, avatars, or clones. Author Authority: Has absolute plot control. Complete Arsenal: Possesses all abilities and powers. Absolute Invincibility: Cannot be harmed physically or mentally. Absolute Eraser: Can erase timelines, gods, etc. Absolute Transcendence: Can surpass any power level instantly. Omnikinesis: Can use any form of magic. Omnipotence: Can do anything, anytime, anywhere. Omnipresence: Exists in fiction and beyond. Internal Existence: Immune to damage, death, and aging. Absolute Internal Power: Has all powers and abilities from every character in DB series, Medaka Box, DC, and Marvel (excluding bad ones). Paradox Immunity: Immune to paradoxes and logical contradictions. Power giving: allows him to have any power he wants if desired
Strength: Hyper♾️^{♾️/irrelevant/irrelevant/Omniverse} Level (Unlimited/Indefinite)
Durability: Hyper♾️^{♾️/irrelevant/irrelevant/Omniverse} Level (Unlimited/Indefinite)
Speed: Hyper♾️^{♾️/irrelevant/irrelevant/Omniverse} Level (Unlimited/Indefinite)
Stamina: Hyper♾️^{♾️/irrelevant/irrelevant/Omniverse} Level (Unlimited/Indefinite)
Regeneration: Hyper♾️^{♾️/irrelevant/irrelevant/Omniverse} Level (Unlimited/Indefinite)
Lifting strength: Hyper♾️^{♾️/irrelevant/irrelevant/Omniverse} Level (Unlimited/Indefinite)
Striking strength: Hyper♾️^{♾️/irrelevant/irrelevant/Omniverse} Level (Unlimited/Indefinite)
Attack potency: Hyper♾️^{♾️/irrelevant/Omniverse} Level (Unlimited/Indefinite)
Traits: The lonelier he gets the stronger he becomes (he exist beyond the Multiverse, so he’s very lonely) he has grabbed the very concept of fiction and threw it at his enemy. He has affected things in reality above fiction (made the book hes in move) You can create and destroy an infinite amount of Multiverse and beyond in seconds He is completely irrelevant because of how strong is he is He isn’t completely untouched by any nullification powers of the opponent. Kind of like goku, every fight he gets infinitely more powerful If someone is stronger than him (somehow) he will immediately adapt to their power level and then beyond
PS: when I say he has all powers/abilities, that means not the bad ones like random self-destruction. Same with magic and stuff

Just feeling like venting today. Feel free to add your own! Here are some things I(26F) tolerated/ignored in my last relationship that I’m still kicking myself over and will never ever do again:
I’ll never date anyone who - follows dozens of instagram models and likes/comments on their posts while we’re together:) - always expects me to go to their place but never really formally invites me, my ex (30M) just gave me a key to his apartment and said the invite was always open (sweet in theory but he knew I liked to be asked to see him and he used this as an excuse for poor communication in terms of making plans) - doesn’t feel comfortable enough to ask to come to my place (??? my ex said he felt like that would be intruding?? my partner should always feel comfortable to come to my place what do you mean) or doesn’t even try make plans in my neighborhood (my ex and I lived 40 minutes away) - is okay with just sitting around and never taking me out on dates or never showing any interest in trying something new/making plans in general - has an immature sense of humor and doesn’t take the hint that most of that shit was never funny/made me uncomfortable - okay a little graphic/tmi but a man who insists on anal sex when i tell him over and over that i’ve never tried and don’t want to!!! to each their own but that has never appealed to me and he was constantly trying to get me to change my mind. - shows 0 interest in getting to know my family/friends. we dated for a year and a half and he missed all my sibs weddings, never took up offers to visit my parents and missed almost every invite to hangout with me and my friends - chooses their dog over me. i LOVE animals, i have a cat and always had dogs growing up. but i sometimes felt like his dog was used as an excuse/crutch to not be present - someone who only posts a photo of the singer from the concert he took me to for MY birthday 💀 social media isn’t everything to me but that made me feel belittled - speaking of social media. someone who only posts selfies/thirst traps. i never tagged my ex in stuff bc i was embarrassed of his posts 😅 which should’ve def been a huge sign to me that he wasn’t right for me but alas - insists on FaceTiming every night while he plays video games and barely pays attention to me, but then gets mad when I don’t call him first and claims that shows I didn’t care about him 😑 again, we are grown adults - genuinely just doesn’t fully get me. i didn’t really feel completely myself with my ex and I won’t let that happen again
Ik this is so long but it feels good to get this all out and keep reminding myself of what I deserve 🩷

Before I begin, I should let you know that the stories I’m writing are not for the faint of heart, or for the squeamish. As I type this, bottle of bourbon in hand, booze soaked whiskers covering my face, I should let you know the year is 2009. I don't now when, or if I'll ever tell anyone, or show them the story. Well, anyone else at least. I believe that’s enough exposition to preface this.
I suppose I should start with a name. My name. My name is Jeremy, at least that’s what my shrink told me to say my name was, for my protection, so I can’t say much else for now regarding my identity. Where to start, oh, where to start? I suppose I should start by stating we were just dumb. Well, maybe dumb isn’t the correct wording. Ignorant is more apt to what we were. Ignorance is bliss, after all.
It started on a brisk, sunny day in mid-October of 1986 at just thirteen years old, I was in sixth grade, and Mr. Stephens, my science teacher, gathered the class around for our weekly group huddle, as he called it.
“Alright class! I have some very exciting news for you all!”
Mr. Stephens chirped, as he usually did, his bubbly personality not unusual to any of us. The class perked up, a slight breeze rattling the “Hang in there!” and “Math is rad!” posters that lined the wall.
“What is it?”
A girl named Jennifer asked inquisitively. Mr. Stephens smiled, his Cheshire Cat like grin causing the dozen or so of us in the class that day to join in with him in his elation, a few kids whispering, pondering as to what may be coming.
“Well, we have a new friend joining us today! He’s a little shy, everyone give a warm welcome to our newest student, Charlie!”
The class erupted into a roaring cacophony of cheers, including myself, as a meek, strawberry blonde haired boy walked into the room, hiding his tomato colored face in his mothers side. His mother smiled, waving to the classroom, as Mr. Stephens motioned for us to quiet down, Charlie's mother cleared her throat, beaming at us all before speaking.
“Hello children! Charlie and I just moved to town, he’s a little shy, so if you would please be patient with him as he adjusts, I think he’ll make lots of new friends here!”
I could see dried up tears on the boys face as he turned to us, fear in his eyes as he turned back into his mothers side, a muffled voice trembling.
“I want to go home.”
Was all that came from the boy, a feeling of pity washed over my body. I had just moved to Wellspring the year before, and was just as timid as he was right now. His mother winced, her face turning to a look of sorrow, sullen as Charlie recessed deeper into his mother, wrinkling the maroon sweater she was wearing, before speaking again.
“Charlie…this is home now.”
He sniffled and pouted, letting go of his mother reluctantly before sitting down next to me on the floor. I gave him a smile, eliciting a small chuckle from him, his lip slightly curling on his lips. I shot him a puzzled look before looking down and grinning, realizing what he was laughing at. I burst out laughing with him, causing an eruption of laughter to spread throughout the class. Charlies tears of fear turned to tears of laughter, streaming down his face before asking me:
“Did your mom dress you today? I think she made a mistake!” The class erupted in laughter as my backwards shirt began to get noticed.
“My name is Jeremy, want to be friends?”
“Sure!”
Charlie shouted, Mr. Stephens and Charlies mother letting out a sigh of relief as we hugged, the rest of the class buzzed with excitement, talking to one another.
“So uh, do you like Transformers?”
Asked Charlie, a toothy grin on my face as I walked over to my designated spot and pulled out my Optimus Prime lunchbox. Charlie looked over with pure excitement, showing me his identical lunchbox.
The day went on as usual, we had pizza for lunch. I can still remember that bland, tasteless rectangular slab from Wellspring Junior High. In fact, looking back on it, I kind of miss it. After lunch we worked on our times tables, multiplication. Things suddenly shifted gears around 12:45 that afternoon.
The class ground to a halt, going silent as the room went dark, losing electricity it seemed, as a booming echo of what sounded like a scream came from the woods outside the window. Mr. Wells, our math teachers usual sunny disposition was wiped from his face as he looked in abject horror at the window, running over to close the blinds so no one would see. I saw though, and the look of terror in Charlies eyes, and the stench of urine told me that he had seen it too. An emaciated man with a sack over his head and hands tied behind his back had ran from the forest screaming before collapsing on the ground, covered in welts and burns, a strange chain link fence looking symbol carved into his chest, coagulated blood seeping around the area. We both stared blankly at the spot where it happened, just a drab, orange curtain blocking everyone else from the view. The loudspeaker overhead chiming in with a voice from the Mrs. Hollace, the principal.
“LOCK THE DOORS IMMEDIATELY. DO NOT LET ANYONE IN OR OUT OF THE BUILDING UNTIL POLICE ARRIVE.”
Charlie began to cry again, as did I, embracing him in a hug, Mr. Wells looking fearful, running over to us, as we seemed to be the only ones crying, the rest of the class awash with confusion instead.
“Are you ok?”
He asked. Both of us looked at each other wide eyed, in a look that said “Don’t let him know that we saw, keep it secret.”
If I had known what would happen a little over a decade later, I wouldn’t have agreed to be friends with Charlie. Hell, I wish I never met him. I wish he went to another school, or moved to another town, even if we did end up best friends. I wish I had told someone, ANYONE else what we saw that day.
I’m getting dreary, my eyes keep drooping as I recount this, maybe the booze is getting to me. So I’ll split this up into parts, chapters if you will. I don't know what will happen to me for even speaking of that fucking town, nor do I care. I guess that’s why I have to keep my mouth shut about my identity. I probably should keep my mouth shut about the rest of it too, but the truth needs to be out there. One thing I know for certain though is:
That was the first victim I saw of the Wellspring Furnace, but unfortunately not the last.