Good evening,
I am an aspiring expeditionary sailor attempting to get their EXW. I noticed that one of the school/course requirements line items was something called Combat First Aid (G-431-0021A).
I looked in Cantrac, JKO, NKO, and general internet search and cannot find out what this line item is for. Can any EXW share some light on this? I've verified that the PQS form number is current. The book is the unit specific one, specifically Coastal Riverine Force. Any guidance is appreciated.

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Hey everyone,
I’m located in Oakland California, and desperate for help.
Story:
I had made an advanced GetAround booking (airbnb of car renting) of two days.
On the first day, an unfortunate incident occurred at night where I was driving on a popular main street and suddenly the front left tire of the car blew out (no other damage at all).
I safely pulled over and was luckily within stone’s throw of my house and also where the car needed to be returned back to.
Upon investigation of the spot where it occurred, I discovered the cause: An absolutely ugly and dangerous pothole on the left edge of the lane which wasn’t there just a few days ago.
While I was investigating it, several other cars too were not able to see it clearly at night and thus had ugly run ins with it. One car’s hub cap came right off.
I had had a pleasant interaction with the owner prior to using his car and so out of good faith I decided to immediately reach out to him and let him know of what had happened.
He was very cool and understanding about it and said not to worry and that to end the trip so he could get his mechanic to fix it. I was to leave the car where I’d pulled over.
I then reached out to GetAround about this and they sent me a questionnaire about the incident and asked me to attach all the relevant imagery and what not to build the case for the insurance team.
I did so within 24h and sent it over.
It has been 75+ days now since nothing satisfactory has come of this from their end.
As usual, I had to be the one to follow-up for any updates. And when it wasn’t silence, the only other response I would get was “the claims team is working on it and we’ll let you know soon”.
Finally, one day, after badgering them for their atrocious customer service on social media they got a human to call me.
This person sounded helpful and assured me he would do his best to figure this out and that he would get back to me in no more than 24h with a conclusion.
He never did.
I followed-up again but they now keep saying “we’re unable to do anything because the owner hasn’t filed a claim from their side, and so until the owner participates in this nothing can be done”.
Throughout these 75+ days I have of course tried contacting the owner through several means ranging from his direct number to the in-app chat on GetAround, he is completely unresponsive.
I even have google street view photos showing that the pothole used to be patched-up once upon a time confirming that it was a known problem that was meant to be solved and could not be anticipated for by a driver at night who is used to that popular road being free of potholes.
I had even bought insurance with the car and yet they treated me like a peasant and have charged me the full price for the trip + a $10 fee for “missing fuel” which I couldn’t have ever refueled due to the car being incapacitated.
How to go about this? This is now more about the principle to me than the exact dollar amount.
I hate GetAround to my core.
P.S. I can imagine getting replies to this asking about sharing exact details like photos of the flat tire and of the pothole etc. and the reason I didn’t put them in yet is because I don’t want to bloat the post.
I have them all ready at a moment’s notice so if any of you say that the details are crucial for you to be able to help just let me know and I’ll immediately post them.
Thank you in advance!

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/IcemanEx54
GM Locked Me Out Of Interacting With Other Players Because I Got Confused
Originally posted to rpghorrorstories
TRIGGER WARNING: manipulation, controlling behavior, sexism
Original Post March 6, 2024
I'm a player in a tabletop RPG campaign and I just wanted to vent about this session. The GM uses a "rules light" homebrew system and it's his homebrew world as well. He's been doing this campaign for years now, but I just joined through a mutual friend after another player left recently.
When I joined the campaign, the GM had told me he wanted me to be from a particular country as a prince, and since it was his homebrewed world, I went with it. The country I'm a prince of is a massive empire that has conquered many lands. I wanted to be a morally good character so I made up a backstory where my prince had a secret romance with a commoner so it gave me more empathy and understanding than my other royal peers would have. Then in session 1, he had the commoner immediately break up with me since the players were all leaving the city session 1.
Several sessions later, there is a carnival being hosted in the empire and all the players are attending. The players split up and my part began with my character watching as a mentally handicap child was put in the dunk tank and was being dunked against his will. So I had my character help the child and stop the game (This isn't relevant to the larger story but I thought it was really weird). Then I am told I have to go to the "main stage" which is just a strip club seemingly. And of course, walking around topless serving drinks is my character's commoner love interest that I made in session 0. The GM laughs a bit and comments, "Isn't it funny? Look at what your ex has to do without you." I have my character give her the shirt off his back and we go to the outskirts of the carnival to find a quiet place to talk, but then the carnival was ambushed by some enemies as arrows and fire rained down on the parade.
Suddenly, my character and his ex are teleported back to the main stage and the GM starts jumping back and forth between all the player characters asking what we want to do without any sort of initiative and if we don't respond quickly enough he skips to another player. I ask, "What direction are the arrows coming from?" GM, "You can't tell". "Which direction to the palace?" I ask. "You don't know," he tells me. I'm honestly genuinely confused about what to do here and my mind goes blank, but then the GM has my bodyguard (a Brienne of Tarth type) tell me to follow her so I do. As he cuts back and forth, another player loses his mom in the chaos, I tell GM, "I want to help him find his mom." "You can't see him" GM tells me. Then I ended up surrounded by 12 ambushers in the "Pleasure Gardens". GM asked what I would do. I say since the carnival is burning, I look for a piece of wood on fire and since it's the pleasure gardens maybe there's some oil I can spill and light on fire to separate myself, my bodyguard, and ex who are all with me from the ambushers. He tells me there's no oil and then I'm held down by the men. I tried to escape, but he says I failed (he just did a dice roll behind his screen and didn't tell me the results). I am then hogtied by the ambushers with my bodyguard and ex and thrown in a cart. Meanwhile, the other two players have stolen a cart and are escaping. I try to do a goofy wave as my character is tied up towards my companions and he just says, the carts never pass each other so the other players don't see you. Before the session ends he tells me my bodyguard is dead.
After the session, I think my body language showed I was a bit bummed. So GM pipes in, "You want to know why you failed that encounter?" He proceeded to tell me it was because I followed my bodyguard and there was no way a woman could have protected me and I needed to make the choice instead. Some of the other players chimed in and said it was surprising my bodyguard failed since in the lore she was a 20-year veteran who survived "The Great War". The GM keeps defending his choice. Then he started making self-deprecating jokes about how he just sucks then and he's the worst GM ever until the other players all reassure him it's fine. I kind of just sat there shell-shocked.
His system reduces dice rolls to a rarity and he does them all himself as a "way to keep tension". I'm honestly more about hanging out with my friends than judging the quality of any campaign or system but this was my first "combat" of any sort in the campaign and I just felt so helpless in this system and it was frustrating. Plus there are no insight or persuasion rolls, just what the GM claims "my character would know" and "how his NPCs would act". So I'm not sure how I was supposed to handle this encounter. Being a GM myself, I thought he was using my bodyguard character to get me back on track, but I thought wrong. I honestly wouldn't have minded if he was just railroading me for a plot point, but him trying to manipulate me and saying his hands were tied when he essentially locked me out of interacting with the other players for the rest of the session is what bothers me the most.
Edit: Changed gaslighting to manipulating since I was using the term wrong and don't want to dilute it's meaning.
Update: GM Defends Style And Told Me He Owns My Character March 20, 2024
This is an update from my post a couple of weeks ago.
One of my friends in the group reached out to me and asked me to not leave the group. He told me there were only 2 sessions left and asked me to stick around as a favor to him. I told him I'd reach out to GM and see if we could get on the same page. So I texted the GM and told him I wanted to talk because I had some concerns after the way everything went down last session. He was down and we talked on the phone a couple of days later. To my surprise, the first thing he did was profusely apologize. I hadn't been responding in our group chat, partly because I was mad and partly because my partner had a death in her family. I guess me not responding caused him to dwell on the last session a bunch. He said he was going to retcon my bodyguard's death and keep her alive. I even told him that the treatment of women in the campaign was bad and that it was making the story worse, he told me that it is something that he can work on being better about too. I was surprised, but all this gave me a lot of optimism for this conversation.
I was honest and I told him that his homebrew system is very difficult for me since I don't have a character sheet. So my character doesn't have abilities, he doesn't level up, and I can't do things like roll investigate or perception rolls which makes it hard for me to make informed decisions. I told him it makes me very risk adverse because I don't have things like HP to even know if I'm in danger. He responded to this by telling me I shouldn't worry about that because his GM style rewards me if I roleplay well enough. He went on to say he hates systems with things like perception rolls because that's "Not how real life works".
I also lamented the fact that I also don't get to interact with the other players much. I didn't mention this in my first post, but he plays with all of us in a Discord call but he only plays with us one at a time, and the two of us who aren't playing are expected to listen and record notable quotes for his notes. He'll switch between characters where each player gets 2-3 "scenes" in a 3 hour session. He has our characters all spread out across the country Game of Thrones style and I've only gotten to play with another player in 2 sessions so far. This was also why that carnival scene was so frustrating because all 3 players were finally in the same place and we were trying to find each other and he just kept saying, "You don't see them".
He told me that he doesn't do party-based adventures because you can't get character growth that way. I pushed back and said I've seen awesome character growth in traditional DnD style games in the past, it just depends on the group. I also said he's just making things harder for himself by trying to run three campaigns instead of one. And if we don't have character sheets and aren't in a party then this is all more dramatic improv than a tabletop RPG.
He responded by saying his way is better because it creates a real story and that I should be happy because he made me the main character. (I guess that is what me being the prince means?) He then went on a rant about how much he loves the game world he created and he's very grateful that our characters brought it to life. But then he says that since it's his world, he feels like he owns our characters now and that after the campaign he wants us all to sign off on him using the characters to write books and a screenplay. And if we don't he'll just change their names and do it anyway. He then thanks me and tells me that this campaign is the main thing that has been stopping him from self-harm and going to dark places. Then he says he has to go and he rushes to hang up before I can say anything else.
I'm dumbfounded after that rapid-fire series of bombshells. I've known since the first few sessions that this was barely a TTRPG, but I got to hang out with my friends so I didn't care what it was. It was nice to hang out with old friends a couple times each month. Then the story got weird, and there was so much misogyny, and then I had the horrible session that caused my original post. Then in this conversation, he throws up even more red flags that I'm not blind to, but he is also planting a seed that he may harm himself without the campaign which is not something I want on my conscience. I'm just exhausted at this point.
TLDR: GM says that abilities and parties make TTRPGs worse and he wants to use our characters to write books/movies after the campaign because he owns them since we're playing in his world. He says he may fall back to self-harm without the campaign, making me feel guilty for wanting to leave.
RELEVANT COMMENTS
ShitThroughAGoose

Any update to this?

OOP

I ended up doing one more session for the finale. There was some drama during that session and when I mentioned that I didn't want to play in the next season of the campaign. I wasn't sure if I wanted to post about it again. I might still, but I think I want to take some time and reflect on everything.

Final Update May 11, 2024
[Final Update] Moving On From My Toxic DM And Losing A Friend In The Process
This will hopefully be my last post on this sub for a long time, but I’ve been using this place to vent about my toxic situation for a while so I figured I might as well post how everything concluded and what happened when I left. I’m going to reflect on everything and recap the important parts so no one has to read 3 posts.
It all started when I decided to start DMing to keep in touch with some college friends after graduation. During my first campaign, one of the players, Pirate, asked if his friend, Colorado, could join. I didn't really know Colorado, but I figured, "the more, the merrier."
Colorado had some issues early on, giving unsolicited advice to everyone on how to play and viewing newer or shy players as “side characters”. However, he frequently missed sessions, only showing up for less than half of them for the first few years so nothing came to a head early on. Then, Colorado decided he wanted to bring back his tabletop campaign from his college days and started trying to recruit players after my sessions. Pirate suggested I join the campaign, promising that Colorado was a better DM than player. Since I had been the Forever DM up to that point, I agreed to give it a go.
I created a character who was part of the royal family but enjoyed interacting with commoners in the slums, even having a secret girlfriend from that background. After that, Colorado also started hitting me up to help with the campaign. I ended up photoshopping character art for a bunch of his NPCs and I even drew his world map for him. I didn't mind doing it, as I do that kind of stuff for fun.
For our first session, Colorado had already created character sheets for us based on our backstories, but only he could see them. Colorado would also roll all the dice himself so “all we had to focus on is roleplaying”. We played one on one in different "scenes" that could last around 30 minutes to an hour each. We usually had around 2 to 4 scenes per session, depending on what Colorado thought was important. During the game, Colorado asked us to write down quotes from him and the other players when it wasn't our turn.
I had to wait for well over an hour before I could finally play. My first session was on rails. I mostly just had to repeat after Colorado during a ceremony. Afterwards, I got to sneak out of the castle and meet with my commoner girlfriend, but Colorado immediately had her break up with me. Then I was told that I had to leave the city. I was essentially locked out of my hanging out in the slums and commoner girlfriend subplots. NPCs generally disliked my morally good character, especially my sister who was depicted as purely evil towards me. Despite my efforts to mend the relationship, she never changed her mind and Colorado never rolled any dice to determine that. Later Colorado revealed to me the character was based on his ex-girlfriend, who was originally intended to be the player character from my country before they broke up.
Eventually, I finally got to interact with another player, Soldier, who I had really good chemistry with and we had a really fun scene. Which Colorado exclaimed, “See! This is why I keep you apart. It makes these moments so much more epic!” But I’m just thinking that if we were in a party, every session could be this epic.
Then Colorado got busy. He went to some alternative medicine nature retreat and didn’t pay his rent the whole time he was gone so he got evicted. At that point, the campaign went on hiatus as people got busy and Colorado was couch hopping. It was during that time I considered the campaign over and made my first post because I thought it fit the sub. Then a year after the last session, Colorado started trying to organize the group to do 3 more sessions to finish the campaign. I just ghosted the group chat for a while, but Pirate’s roommate is a player in the campaign I DM so Pirate started hopping on the call asking me to come back for the finale. Pirate told me that it would be different this time because all of our characters were going to meet up for the finale and he really wanted to play with me. I naively agreed to give the game a second chance.
The first of those three sessions led to this post and this follow up.
[TLDR - I never got to meet up with the other characters. Colorado made my ex a stripper and I was captured by invaders with no dice rolls to prevent it. I had a conversation with him about my concerns after the last session. He apologized and agreed to make changes saying he needed the campaign for his mental health.]
Colorado decided to have a single super finale session, which I reluctantly attended because of sunk cost fallacy. I was imprisoned, beaten and whipped, separated from my girlfriend and recently resurrected bodyguard. A deus-ex ninja offered to help me escape, but I wanted to save all the prisoners. So I helped the commoners escape with the ninja before saving my girlfriend. My bodyguard got captured, but I made sure my girlfriend escaped and then I went to save my bodyguard because I wasn’t letting her die after she just got resurrected. I tried to find my bodyguard but every door was locked and I was forced into a long one on one fight with a guard that would make John Carpenter blush. I lost the fight due to an unknown -2 modifier on my fighting rolls, leading to my re-imprisonment.
Pirate tried to board a boat to reach my location, but was unsuccessful. Colorado informed him that the sailors refused to let him on the ship because they didn't like his tone. Fortunately, Soldier saved me and we agreed to stop the big bad and rescue my bodyguard together. With a squad of Soldier's peers, we pursued the big bad into the woods. Without any rolls, all the other soldiers were sniped by archers.
Finally, the two of us reached the clearing where the big bad and his followers were. We were outnumbered about 30-2. My bodyguard and the other commoners were tied to a tree. Soldier was the same race as the villain so he approached while I stayed hidden. He delivered an awesome passionate speech against the big bad's actions saying that it wasn’t what their ancestors would want. I’m sitting there waiting and hoping for a persuasion roll… and nothing. Colorado says the big bad doesn’t change his mind and he sets the tree on fire, causing my bodyguard and the commoners to burn to death. Soldier and I retreated into the woods to end the campaign.
Pirate was supposed to have a scene after us, but he fell asleep because it was past 1am. Colorado kept trying to call Pirate on the phone. I joke, “Hey, we’re old now, being up past midnight isn’t as easy as it used to.” To which Colorado replies, “I just thought Pirate had more respect for me than this.” The Discord call becomes quiet and after Colorado starts focusing on Soldier and I. He wants to know why we’re not discussing the ending more. I remarked that it was a bit of a downer and I’m tired. Then Colorado starts spiraling, saying that RPGs are just another medium that he failed at just like film and music. HE STARTS CRYING and hangs up from the Discord call. Soldier and I stayed on and had a short “That was awkward” conversation. I don’t know Soldier well so I didn’t say much about my grievances with the campaign and eventually we ended up just talking about Baldur’s Gate 3 for an hour.
The next day, I wake up to a barrage of texts from Colorado apologizing, mansplaining how hard it is to be a DM as if I’ve never done it myself. He then starts sending me messages with all his ideas for my character in the next season and how he promises I’ll have more freedom next time. I wouldn’t understand, but he NEEDED to do the prison sequence and my bodyguard to die for my character growth, but next season will be different. I tell him I’m not doing another season. Colorado replies saying that he thought I’d say that because Pirate (who was apparently not sleeping) told him Soldier and I were bitching about the campaign after the session. Colorado said that once I get over it, we can start talking about season 3. I reaffirmed my stance. Then Colorado texts me one last time and asks if I’ll still make his maps and character art even if I don’t play. I said no again.
It's been two months since I last heard from Colorado or Pirate. We used to play games and talk about pro wrestling all the time, but now there's been no contact. A lot of the comments on my posts helped me realize I was prioritizing Colorado’s mental health over my own and I felt like it was my responsibility to support his campaign because he constantly referenced how important it was to his mental health. Intentional or not, he preyed upon my empathy. I’m not his Giving Tree and I shouldn’t be left a stump for a campaign where he doesn’t even want us to affect the world.
I sometimes worry Pirate is going through a similar situation to me, but for a longer period of time. Pirate introduced me to Colorado, and he's really loyal to him. I think that slowed down my exit from the group because I trusted Pirate to be my friend as well. I remember opening up to Pirate about a panic attack I had while Colorado was spiraling one day, and he just shrugged it off as me being dramatic. It's frustrating. I want both of them to be happy, but I can't make that happen for them, especially if it comes at the expense of my own well-being.
I ended up venting to some of my irl friends and they really supported and listened to me which is why I didn’t feel a need to vent here. I learned a lot about what not to do when DMing from this campaign and it made me reevaluate my approach to playing RPGs. Now I'm in a group with my irl friends and it's a blast. I can relax and just have fun playing again.
TLDR - I started DMing to stay connected with college friends who were scattered across the country. One player, Pirate, introduced me to Colorado, who eventually took over as the DM. Colorado had some unconventional methods, such as not using character sheets and controlling all the dice rolls. The game became focused on his storyline and my character had limited agency. Despite this, I gave the campaign a second chance. In the final session, things went poorly, and Colorado had a breakdown. Despite his apologies and promises for the next season, I decided not to continue playing. I have not heard from Colorado or Pirate since. I now play with my real-life friends and it's much more enjoyable.
RELEVANT COMMENTS/ADDED INFO
TicketPrestigious

Glad you're doing better. That does sound like quite a toxic situation.
If I've understood it right, the stuff with Pirate 'falling asleep' but actually listening in to you and Soldier talking feels like a massive red flag to me. I understand worrying about him since you were/felt like you were friends, but if he's enabling Colorado with that sort of stuff then it's probably best to move on.

OOP

Yeah even the best case would be that Pirate woke up after Colorado left the call and just overheard Soldier and me talking without us realizing because his mic was muted and we assumed he had passed out and then he snitched after which is still a bad look tbh. I had been distancing myself from Pirate since he invalidated my panic attack prior to this. It's just hard to be vulnerable with someone again after that.

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP
DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7

Clearly massive Spoilers for not only Wind, yet all of ASC, as this is more of a review of the current events.
Well! Upon finishing Wind and realizing in horror I'm waiting till NOVEMBER to finish this, and hoping to Starclan I still remember what happened by then, it feels right to just review the Arc as of now anyways.
I'm likely just going character by character, not literal event timelines. I'll review Nightheart, Sunbeam, Frostpaw, Splashtail, and Squirrelstar! Enjoy.

Nightheart.

Oh boy, this Man was the "Rootspring," of ASC. Really got on my nerves with his hypocrisy and shortsightedness at the beginning when he was still Flamepaw. He was always justified in his desire for his own legacy, but he also seemed to have a sense of self importance and expectations he had not earned. However, as he became Nightheart, things began to change.
I'll discuss the NightBeam/SunHeart ship as one right here, I absolutely support it. A healthy, no bullshit relationship of two cats who genuinely just respect and support each other. The amount of sheer willingness and support between these two cats all the way from book one to five is astonishing. Sun and Night both wholeheartedly comfort and aid the other in times of hardship, and both cats straight up made their mind with Clan swapping with no issue or regret. (Within reason, of course.) They are fully dedicated to each other and loyal to their family. They love and believe in each other, even when some parts of their lives go against each other, like Sun's reluctant attachment to Berryheart, who despises Nightheart. Night never brings her down or attacks her for still caring about her mother. That shows true understanding for who she is as a cat. This relationship I believe also played a tremendous role in Nightheart as a character.
Back to him alone, his connection and journey between Frostpaw and Sunbeam molded him into a loyal, courageous, and downright brave motherfucker and I like the Man. He is upfront, generally sensible in his thinking, compassionate, understanding, and humble, even taking responsibility for his younger issues at times. He has quickly turned himself around as a remarkable cat! As such I said, basically like Rootspring for me!

Sunbeam.

The perfect choice for Nightheart for sure. She's a cat caught in the dilemma of old and new family, new hearts and old, struggling to keep both intact, praying that both don't break. She holds herself together amazingly well, and she had the respect for not only Nightheart, but Thunderclan itself, that beyond even standing up to everyone she knew for Nightheart, she also dedicated her loyalty to Thunderclan beyond Nightheart, proving her change of heart was true. She stood firm in adversity such as Cherryfall with more maturity than I'd have shown that sabotaging cat, and most cherishingly, she held out for weeks and more with half the cats in the Clan and herself dreading if Nightheart had abandoned her, yet not for a moment did her trust in him falter, and their bond seemed even stronger when he returned. She quickly made great and honest bonds with Thunderclan cats including Squirrelstar and Nightheart's immediate family that consistently have hung on.
Sunbeam has shown herself brave, cunning, and sensible beyond average reason. She'll selflessly help cats of other Clans, and is the first to volunteer for dangerous quests and keep Nightheart out of mischief, ha! Sunbeam was asked to prove her qualities, and she has done so with great honor. She is one of the few who's loyalty to Thunderclan couldn't be questioned even after sneaking through Windclan territory to help her family, exiled from Shadowclan. She cares for both ends, yet weighs her priorities with care. I look forward to her development and closing arc!

Frostpaw.

Ah, the traumatized Apprentice No. 99938-something. Well, thanks to her good writing, she's proved to be far more than that. Frostpaw embodies a favorite quote of mine, "You wear your convictions well, they suit you."
Frostpaw is steadfast and bloody well resolute in her quest, and that is so astonishing because of how she began. Frostpaw was an innocent, fragile and scared cat at the start. She wanted Peace, yet knew nothing of conflict. By the end, she kept her goal for Peace, even after experiencing the horrors of conflict.
From the day she lay bleeding on the moor, I saw a fire light in her heart that drove her in spite of her many wounds, mental and physical to distant lands. She befriended lost cats, rival Clans, and through it all, her trauma and experiences did not further weaken or shake her resolve, yet seemingly hardened it in bloody iron. That passive, gullible innocent Apprentice matured in a shockingly believable heartbeat. Through meditation, reflection, and accepting of truths most Warriors cannot tolerate, she earned a self respect and wisdom greater than many cats. Yet, through all the strength and firm nature of her new guarded, and stricter soul, she only gained determination and respect for what she lost, aiming to restore Riverclan against any odds.
From a cat with a foolish blind crush, to wisely sparring in a bloody game with the false Leader, she holds her own with terrifyingly skill. I hardly know if she can fight a single Warrior, yet somehow she seems to be more suited to this conflict than any cat yet. Nothing has wavered her for long, and whatever has, seems to further invigorate her resolve.
Frostpaw has dealt with the betrayal of cats she trusted as family. She has had cats die for her, lie for her, and cats be hurt and broken for her. And she took none for granted. Whenever something shakes her confidence and beliefs, she comes right back to shake it twice as hard. My admiration for such a strong cat is immeasurably high! Frostpaw has suffered more pain and loss than any cat to the Arc yet. But, for all she has gained, partnerships and family now from nearly ever Clan, Tiger, Whistle, Night, she is ready to forge herself into a cat unbreakable. A legendary contrast to her origins, and I am stoked to see how it plays out.

Splashtail.

Ah, this bastard. This cat is basically a real Clan Darktail, but he pulls it off well.
The last chapter of Wind seriously put the last few pieces of his personality together for me. And I actually have a sort of hotter take on his behavior than many might have.
I do not believe Splashtail is outright ruthless and cruel "just because." Partially, I believe he suffers from a form of trauma suppression that is making him this way. We see that Curlfeather was the instigator for this, that Splashtail genuinely just wanted Riverclan secure, and swore he could do it better than it had. He respected Reedwhisker, and he seemed initially disturbed by the idea of so much... ill means to secure his own position, yet also a slight insecurity or distain for Curlfeather's own degrading outlook of him. Splashtail is ambitious, yet in his own beliefs, also highly loyal. I honestly got the feeling by the end of Wind, Splashtail basically had crossed the blood red line. He went arguably insane, as the last chapter of Wind actually hints at, likely due to a form of regret, a suppression of trauma of what he did. Basically he keeps doing more chaotic and cruel things similar to an addiction, because the withdrawal would mean facing the truth of what you've done. It's possible a form of guilt or conscious bore away at his sanity until he snapped it himself.
Splashtail seems to have a warped personal truth that he genuinely wants Riverclan to be... Gods. So powerful, it feels he may want that specifically because he has to give himself a valid reason that all this bloodshed and madness must earn Riverclan SOMETHING, or else he's truly mad. It's a form of self hatred that is twisting his morality, and I can see it in every word he makes. After all, in his own words about the blood red line, "If I'm already staining my paws with blood, why stop at one?" With Frostpaw... Harelight... I don't think his mind is his own anymore. His terror and anguish has controlled who he is now. Whatever sense of justice or loyalty he wanted to bring to Riverclan, is now a demented passenger to his new self destruction. I wonder indeed what it will do to him before the end.

Squirrelstar.

I believe... I was damn well right. People told me her actions in ASC were ridiculous and wrong, hypocritical even. And I thought, "Well, what's the context?" And I was RIGHT.
Squirrelstar has quickly become of the best Leaders I have witnessed.
I seriously think the Writing team created a whole new personality type that finally gives Squirrelstar some serious personality, because she operates as Leader in a way I've hardly ever seen.
She is incredibly thorough and devoted.
Squirrelstar has shown a perfect mix of extreme unrelenting authority that commands obedience, and absolute respect and love for her Clan and family that balances it beautifully. In the same sentence, she'll formally scold a cat for doing something logically stupid, yet also reason and level so kindly with them on an unofficially level. With Night, Sun, Tiger, Wasp, Waffle, so many! Her compassion and control are expertly blended and I couldn't be more proud.
Squirrelstar is beyond correct regarding the Riverclan situation. People said it was hypocrisy, because she replaced Bramblestar when he was too "lenient." But that was a different time, and when she became Leader, she understood.
Bramblestar was traumatized. He would've advocated for unconditional peace, whereas Squirrelstar is advocating for absolute peace through resolution, on the condition that Riverclan is willing to make the leap.
Tigerstar is absolutely justified and partially correct about his desire to just fix Riverclan by force, yet Squirrelstar also has great wisdom.
She cautions that forcibly ripping Riverclan's Leader away who they've scratched and clawed after for Moons without them actually consenting to it, would lead to a useless war with most of Riverclan that would cause immense unnecessary bloodshed thay no degree of power could stop. It doesn't matter how many Clans join, if Riverclan chooses to fight for Splashtail, innocent and misguided or not, Riverclan will likely bleed itself dry like a cornered animal, and Squirrelstar understands that remarkably well. Riverclan needs to ensure it has a proper rebellion in wait, so that Splashtail will be alone in his War; to minimize conflict and waste of life.
Yet, for any who still perceive that Squirrelstar is too reserved, she has wisely shown her claws furiously when threatened. She did everything short of literally skinning that Riverclan party who stormed into Thunderclan camp. She did not give a single solitary fuck what they felt or didn't. She outright made it explicitly clear that Splashtail does not scare her, she's only concerned about needless bloodshed. Not a cat afraid of War... but one who knows how to fight one.
Squirrelstar is beyond ready to cut Splashtail into little pieces for the fish. She waits for Riverclan... and as of Wind... I should assume her final decision will be swift.
Her words, her mannerisms, they're so unique to her. I've seen Squirrelstar use words that Warriors has literally never bloody used. I still swear the Writing team is shockingly determined to do her justice, and I eagerly await her future!
That is all for now!

I (39/American/F) had a child with a (39/Indian/M) and I am now a single mother to a very curious 5 yr old daughter. Backstory: I was overseas in the military and taking a break for R&R. I had always wanted to visit India, so I booked a trip to Southern India. While I was there, I unexpectedly fell in love with a man I had met who lived in northern India. I had to return back to my post in the military, but we kept in touch. This was approximately 10 years ago. I was in the military for another 4 to 5 years and we kept in touch the entire time. I decided once I separated from the military that I wanted to do animal rescue work in India. I wanted to travel the country first to figure out where I was going to move to, and he offered to come with me. So we had chocked the country together, and I chose a place to move to that was not where he lived. He always respected my independence and never pressured me to be anything other than myself. We had a great relationship, and once I had moved to India, we flew to visit each other quite often. We were in love, so of course we were doing the deed. I had been diagnosed with polycystic ovarian disease years before I met him. So we never never use protection and I never never got pregnant. I also never got pregnant my entire life so it was not anything I was concerned about. I explained to him the condition and we never use protection. When I was leaving India to go back to the United States because of a visa issue, he came to help me pack and move all of my stuff. He stayed with me for a few weeks. I always respected his boundaries, that I was a secret to most of his family though I had met some of his friends and cousins over the years. We were both very respectful about each other’s boundaries. I knew that his religion was keeping him from telling his mother and immediate family about me. I had no issue with this. While he was helping me pack my stuff and move, he brought up the idea of getting married. I told him I don’t know if you want to marry me because I don’t know if I can give you what you want. I know he loved kids and wanted to be a father. He said he wanted to marry me and we went to see if we could get married before I left. The law and India are very strict and we were not able to get married there. So we decided we will just wait until I get back to America and do the marriage visa thing. When I got back, I was so nauseous. I never even thought to take a pregnancy test, until my best friend had mentioned it. So I took one … Just because I had no idea why I was so nauseous all the time. Turns out I was pregnant. I called him and I talked to him about it. He said that I could make whatever decision I wanted to because it was my body. He said he would support me in whatever decision I made. So I went and got all the tests done and thought really hard about it. I never actually wanted to be a mom after finding out that I most likely wouldn’t be. I had kind of come to terms with that. But I ended up keeping the baby. And I am so grateful and happy that I did. Even though things did not work out between he and I, I am still completely happy that I have such a wonderful, beautiful, amazing daughter to share my life with. From the point I found out I was pregnant and that I was going to keep the baby, he and I started making plans for the marriage visa. Though it was our plan before I even left India and knew that I was pregnant, now I feel like he wanted to be here even more. Up until she was six months old and I was preparing to send in the visa application and the application fees, he was totally on-board. When she was six months old, he decided he didn’t want to come here and he didn’t want to leave his family. So we parted ways and he then had no intention on keeping in touch with her through video messaging or telephone calls. I don’t know if it was his own feelings of guilt or that he felt like his family would disown him, but he just completely had no interest in her life at all after that. Now, whenever she ask me, which is not very often, I just say that he lives in India. I show her on a map where India is and where we are. She doesn’t ask anymore questions for now, but I know there will be questions later. And I don’t want her to have any feelings of abandonment. I don’t want her to feel like he chose his family and his life over her. But I also don’t want to lie to her. So I’m feeling very conflicted about how I’m going to approach the situation later down the line. If you have any suggestions or experience with this type of situation, Please share!

Hi all! Writing this here because it’s the only place that people are willing to have an open discussion about this topic 😭
The new, longer wicked trailer dropped last week and being a huge wicked fan made it very hard to ignore this.
Ariana is quite literally just a walmart version of Kristin Chenoweth.
Of course coming into such an iconic role with such ICONIC predecessors, it would be difficult from the beginning to live up to whats already in peoples’ minds. Giving grace to actors in this situation is a given (for me, at least).
My problem, though, is that Ariana waxed poetic about this being her dream role, how she changed herself to become G, and how she worked hard to make it her own. Wonderful sentiments with great promises. But in reality what we were shown in the trailer is just KC 2.0. Same choices, same voice, same mannerisms.
G is a very distinct character and obviously keeping true to that character does require a bit of “copying” from the original (KC’s version). That’s not what I saw, though. From what I saw, if Ariana was the best option they had, they would have been better off just casting Kristin.
We all know Ariana is a little songbird. She mimics and pulls from other people to bring certain things out of herself. Why would I believe that she didn’t just study KC and apply it completely to “her own version” of Glinda??
What irks me most about it is that Ariana’s fans very clearly know nothing about the musical, the books, or the original cast. They will see the movie and think Ariana is a pioneer!! An amazing actor, a triple threat when in actuality she is just mimicking the hard work that has already been put into that character.
To me this trailer just showed what I think most of us already knew. She isn’t an actor, or at least not a good one. Acting is more than playing dress up. And the way she speaks about the character is concerning. “I’m gonna take such good care of her” doesn’t scream “I understand the role i’m playing.”
Am I making sense? Please tell me i’m not just losing my mind 😭
P.S. i would have loved to see Dove Cameron in this role. Kristin’s literal stage daughter. Dove’s work she did for The Light in the Piazza was incredible. Wish we could’ve gotten her as Glinda.

So last year I had the opportunity to live and work in Seoul for about 8 months. As some of you probably know, Koreans are obsessed with the game. There are screen golf bars on every street, and pretty much anyone you talk to either plays or is learning how to play. Unfortunately I didn't have a ton of opportunities to get out there, but I did get out once and had a fucking blast. I also got a huge kick out of some of the differences and figured you all would get a kick out of it too. This was just my experience playing one round so not sure if all of this is universal, would love to hear from anyone else who's played over there.
For anyone wondering, we played at a pretty new course called Route 52 in Yeojoo, about 1.5 hour drive from downtown Seoul.

• Every group takes a cart, and the carts are double-rowed 4 baggers, driven by the caddy, who is essentially a forecaddie
• On the first tee, the caddy leads the group in some light stretching.
• When you book a tee time, you book the entire foursome. It's your responsibility to fill the group. So calling up and asking to play as a single doesn't happen. That said, I think there are services that will help pair up those that don't have a full group.
• Those golf carts are self-driving
• The holes had gimme circles. You could do whatever you wanted but it actually made it a little easier mentally when you had such a big target to shoot for.
• Don't get me wrong: a Nature's valley or a fresh dog at the turn is all I typically need, but after playing 9, we stopped and ate a full 20 min lunch that was fucking delicious. Not sure how this typically works because we played late in the season and it wasn't as crowded as it probably usually gets, but the halfway house was packed with other foursomes, and I asked my group and seems like this is pretty much the standard during every round. We still played in about 4.5 hours
• As you could probably guess, golf is expensive as hell. I'd guess that a typical round is probably 2x to 3x what a comparable course would cost in the states. ON top of that, you are forced to pay for a caddy, plus cart, and all the other goodies like balls and gear are equally pricey.
• Korea is an AWESOME country. The coworkers that took me and treated me to the round were awesome hosts. The rest of my game is a trainwreck but that day I happened to be piping my drives and thankfully got some pretty good videos with them hyping me up. Go easy on my swing haha

I’m planning a weekend in the Blue Mountains for my mum’s 60th birthday, exact area to be decided but currently thinking around Leura.
I am on the hunt for an interesting restaurant to book for an intimate and special family lunch. Not necessarily fine dining, but something that is somewhat elevated and not stuffy or tourist-centric. It will of course be cold so looking to lean into the cosy vibes!
Mum LOVES Asian food of all types (modern Asian in particular), as well as Middle Eastern influences, but will give most things a go. Not particularly keen on pizza / pasta Italian.
Would be super appreciative of any suggestions 😁

Now that there is another tier list, here is my sixth installment on the subject where I determine how each of these villains meet their fates. Here is the first post, the second, the third, the fourth, and the fifth. As always, I'll keep everyone from the previous post where they are but I'll get rid of their explanations unless I had to change something between now and then. Without further ado, let's begin. I am not doing Mr. Orange since he's not evil by his criteria but he would count as dead by being killed.
Alive and redeemed: Derek Vineyard, Gordon Gekko, Jules Winnfield, and William Munny
Their story is unfinished: Agent Smith, Azula, Davy Jones, Euron Greyjoy (is currently still alive), Frieza (is currently at large and still a key player in the conflict), Griffith, the Joker (Joker), the Machines, Ramsay Bolton (A Song of Ice and Fire, is currently still alive), SHODAN, and Tommy Shelby (a Peaky Blinders movie set after the series is being made)
Alive, free, and uninjured: Alex DeLarge (book), Amy Dunne, Blondie, Christof, Clay Puppington, Green Goblin (MCU), Hannibal Lecter (book series), Henry Potter, Honey Bunny, Jobu Tupaki, Jonas Engstrom, Judge Holden, Keyser Soze, the Li Tolqa, the Lighthouse, Lord Summerisle and his society, Louis Bloom, Mary (Precious), Ozymandias (original comics), Patrick Bateman, Ringo, Roman Castevet, Terence Fletcher, Tetsuo Shima, Tommy Shelby, Travis Bickle, Tuco, Vic Mackey, Viktor Bout/Yuri Orlov, and the Wolf
Alive, free, yet injured: Alex DeLarge (movie), Anton Chigurrh, Butch Coolidge, Cameron Alexander, English Bob, Hannibal Lecter (Silence of the Lambs/Hannibal Movie), Hans Landa, Johan Liebert, Marcellus Wallace, Marlo Stanfield, Michael Myers (Thorn Trilogy/H20 Timelines), Mildred Ratched, Mr. Pink, and Noah Cross
Alive, captive, and uninjured: Antonio Salieri, Baby Jane Hudson, Daniel Plainview, Gaear Grimsrude (is arrested without incident by Marge Gunderson for multiple murders), Jerry Lundegaard (is arrested pitifully while trying and failing to escape through the roof), Nathan Jessup, Norman Bates (first movie), O-Dog, Ozai, Ozymandias (Doomsday Clock/HBO Series), the Riddler, Rumi, Saul Goodman, and Sy Parrish
Alive, captive, and injured: The Joker (The Dark Knight), Melkor, Mr. Pink (gets injured in a shootout and arrested offscreen), and Thomas Howard
Unclear: Bill Cipher, Blanche Dubois (may or may not be dead by the end depending on interpretation), Citra, Gendo Ikari, Jack Delroy (may or may not be arrested for his actions), Robert House (can either stay alive throughout the campaign or die in any number of ways by the Courier's machinations), Stu Macher, Tony Soprano, and Tyler Durden
Will keep coming back regardless of how many times they die: Candyman, Freddy Krueger, Ganon, the Ghostface identity, Jason Voorhees, Li'l Slugger (as a representation of Japan's refusal to own up to their World War II atrocities), Mr. Wriggles (is the Devil), Pazuzu, Pinhead, and Yu Yevon
Is not a living being: The Cordyceps, INGSOC, Norsefire, and the Weyland-Yutani Corporation
Dead (natural causes): The Anti-Osage Conspiracy (all of them are dead or on the way to dying by now), Ernest Burkhart (dies of old age in a rat-infested mobile home), Jack Torrance (movie), the Joker (Arkham, succumbs to Titan poisoning at the end of Arkham City), Logan Roy, Max Cady, Michael Corleone, Roy Batty, Vito Corleone (dies of a heart attack while playing with his grandson), and William Hale (dies in a nursing home of old age)
Dead (accidental): Claude Frollo, Green Goblin (Raimi Trilogy), Jack (The House That Jack Built), Jon Holt, Roland Bishop, Syndrome, Talia al Ghul, and Walter White
Dead (suicide): Andrew Ryan, the Cult of Abraxas (engage in ritual suicide), Dutch Van Der Linde, Imhotep, Jack Torrance (book duology), Julian Slowik, Lee Woo-Jin, Lord Shen (lets himself get crushed by his cannon), Mr. White (commits suicide by cop), Samuel Norton, and William Foster
Dead (killed by someone): Albert Wesker, Alex Forrest, Alonzo Harris, Amon Goeth, Anakin Skywalker, Angel Eyes, Annie Wilkes, the Armitage Family, Asami Yamazaki, Bane, Barry Berkman, Bill (Kill Bill), Bill the Butcher, Billy Chapman, Bob Barnes, Buffalo Bill, Calvin Candie, Carl Showalter (is chopped to pieces and fed to a wood chipper by Gaear Grimsrude), Carmine Falcone, Castor Troy, Commodus, Count Dooku, Damien Thorn, Darth Maul, David (The Last of Us), Dexter Morgan, El Indio (loses a showdown at high noon against Douglas Mortimer), Elijah Glass, Elliot Spencer, Eren Yeager (is decapitated after an extensive fight with the rest of humanity), Erik Killmonger, Euron Greyjoy (Game of Thrones, dies from a duel with Jaime Lannister), FEDRA, Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen (is stabbed through the brain by Paul Atreides in a duel), the Fireflies, Frances Dolarhyde, Frank Booth, Frank Costello, General Grievous (is shot in his organic parts by Obi-Wan Kenobi), the Ghostface killers, Glossu Rabhan (is slain and beheaded by the Freemen of Arakeen), Gus Fring, HAL 9000, Hans Gruber, Howard Stambler, Hoyt Volker, humanity pre-The Matrix, the Hunters, Immortan Joe, Iosef Tarasov (is ambushed and unceremoniously shot in the head by John Wick), Jack Horner, Jeremiah Sand, Jigsaw, Joe Cabot (dies trying to kill the rat in his organization), Joel Miller, Joffrey Baratheon, John Doe, Judge Doom, Kefka Palazzo, Koba, Lalo Salamanca, Leatherface (original duology), the LeDomas Family, Light Yagami, Lilly (is killed by a hallucinating Jack Delroy), Little Bill Daggett, Lorne Malvo (gets caught in a bear trap and then put down by Gus Grimly), Makima (is cut into pieces and eaten by Denji over the course of a week or so), Margaret White, Michael Myers (most versions), Mr. Blonde (gets pumped full of lead by Mr. Orange), Mr. Blue (is murdered offscreen by unknown methods), Mr. Brown (eventually succumbs to a gunshot wound to the head), Ned Logan, Nice Guy Eddie (dies trying to avenge Joe), Norman Stansfield, the Overlook Hotel, Pamela Voorhees, Pennywise, Perkins (is executed by the Continental staff for killing on their premises), President Snow (is trampled by an angry mob), Ramsay Bolton (Game of Thrones, is torn apart by his own dogs), Raoul Silva, Ra's al Ghul, Raymond Cocteau, Richmond Valentine, Sauron, Scar, Sheev Palpatine, Silco (is shot by Jinx), Simon Phoenix, SKYNET, Stephen (Django Unchained), Stringer Bell, Thanos, Thomas Wake, Todd Alquist (is strangled to death by Jesse Pinkman), Tommy DeSimone/Devito, Tony Montana, Tywin Lannister, V (gets killed in a shootout in the movie and gets impaled by a thrown blade in the comics), Vaas Montenegro, Vidal, Viggo Tarasov (succumbs to his injuries from fighting John Wick), Vincent (Collateral), Vincent Vega, Vladimir Harkonnen, Voldemort, Walter Finch, Walter Kurtz, Will Dormer, and Zed

I originally posted this with a throwaway but the automod ate it. So I'll just post it with my main account. Whatever. I'm kind of disgusted with reddit at the moment anyway.
This post is long so tl;dr you'll get masses of downvotes on reddit if you dare disagree with the line that sex is immutable. Even though it isn't. And it's not only rabid transphobes who will downvote you for it.
(Disclaimer: I'm writing from the perspective of a trans woman who has medically transitioned, mostly about trans women who medically transition. I suspect that most of the below applies to trans men who medically transition too if you flip some of the terms, but at this point I'm going to shift back into my lane, stop speaking about trans men, and let them speak for themselves.)
There was a post on atheism on Friday made by a trans person who had been hurt by something transphobic that Richard Dawkins had said. Cue tons of gaslighting in the comments claiming that what he said wasn't transphobic (it was) and mass downvoting of people criticizing Dawkins or supporting trans people. People pointing out that medical transition can change your sex were predictably also downvoted despite it being scientific reality. There were no counterarguments: just slurs, bigotry, and accusations of mental illness. For self-proclaimed atheists a lot of them sure like to cling to disproven transphobic dogma, and for supposed materialists they sure like to cling to metaphysical woo when it comes to biology.
"But chromosomes!" "But gametes!" They're both irrelevant in an adult human who has undergone gonadectomy. Brain/behavioral sex, hormonal sex, and genital sex are far, far more important (and they don't all need to line up in order to classify someone as male or female). But many people stubbornly cling to chromosomes and gametes. Why? Because we can't (yet) modify those in trans people to match their acquired sex. (We can make gametes and gonads N/A and that doesn't seem to be an issue for them with cis people but mysteriously it's not good enough when it comes to trans people. Actually it's not a mystery: it's just transphobia.) They're desperate to have some sort of defense no matter how ridiculous and flimsy for continuing to treat us badly and not treat us as our acquired sex.
(The next two paragraphs are about my experience personally and not all trans women.)
My chromosomes are probably XY. (You probably won't get done for speeding on I-95 but you'll still see someone who has been pulled over by police every twenty miles or so.) If I'd been able to click my fingers and change my chromosomes when I began transitioning then it would have achieved nothing for me. I'd still have needed HRT and SRS to treat my dysphoria. I'd still have undergone gonadectomy, rendering what my chromosomes are and what gametes I would have produced moot. Transphobes would have found some other justification for being shitty to me. If they claim otherwise then they're lying. Perhaps they'd latch onto my "socialization" ignoring the fact that trying to socialize a female brain as male doesn't produce a male brain: it produces a traumatized female brain. Perhaps they'd simply leap straight into spiritualist bullshit and insist that the magical sex fairy declared me male and that can never be changed. It doesn't matter because they're not arguing in good faith.
My brain/behavioral sex has always been female. I simply repressed it for a long time because I grew up in a hateful environment. Additionally, without going into gory details: pubertal testosterone didn't do everything it was supposed to in me. One more datum in support of the theory that some trans women have busted or wonky androgen receptors. To describe me as "male" now or even to say that I used to be "male" is incorrect and ignorant of biology. By the way: if someone would have described me as "male" before I transitioned despite my brain/behavioral sex being female but they wouldn't describe me as female now despite my chromosomes (probably) being XY then they're being intellectually dishonest. (They also almost certainly wouldn't describe the sex of a cis woman with naturally elevated testosterone as "male".) At this point most of the factors that go into determining my sex are female, one is N/A, and as previously discussed chromosomes don't matter because I'm not a fetus. Therefore I'm female now. End of discussion.
(End personal stuff.)
There was also a comment about how outing oneself as trans to every Tom, Dickhead, and Harry in the medical profession can lead to worse health outcomes for trans people because of bigotry, incompetence or ignorance leading to checking for the wrong things, trans broken arm syndrome, and incorrect reference ranges being used leading to false positives and false negatives. Of course it too was downvoted and lots of cis people bleated about how trans people supposedly need to come out to every medical person they meet. Hey dumbasses: I can't get testicular cancer any more and I'm effectively already taking treatment for prostate cancer, but I can get breast cancer and I need to watch for female heart attack symptoms. I don't have low testosterone: my testosterone is right in the middle of the female range. My medical risk profile is similar to that of a cis woman without ovaries or a uterus, and treating me like a cis man for medical purposes would be malpractice. But at least they got to be supercilious toward trans people while giving them bad advice that could result in them being maimed or killed. They can sleep well tonight. It must be nice not to have to be an amateur expert in your own healthcare in order to prevent the alleged real experts from fucking you up.
There was a post in AreTheStraightsOK yesterday about trans people, and one commenter stated that trans women can become female. It was downvoted. At this point I'm not even surprised that so-called allies want us to have some equality but not too much. They want us to be their token trans person to help them virtue signal in order to win online arguments and out-woke their frenemies. Oh aren't they so enlightened and tolerant referring to their trans woman friend as "AMAB" instead of "a man" and "they" instead of "he" as long as she behaves? They love the power of holding our identities over us, refusing to use the correct pronouns for us if we displease them, and misgendering us with AGAB terminology then crying "but it's just reality!" when called out on it. Yes I was "AMAB" and that has no relevance to almost everyone's interactions with me now. You (referring to these "allies") were a screaming little pissbaby when you came out of the womb. Are you still one? Should I bring it up whenever I talk about you?
And just to touch on the 'Queers for Palestine' idiocy and its members claiming they won't vote for 'Genocide Joe': those people would rather virtue signal for people who would execute them by throwing them off buildings than perform a real and meaningful action (vote Democrat) to help trans people in their own country avoid what would await them under a Trump presidency and a Republican-controlled congress. Who needs enemies when you have friends like those? (Of course they're silent about what's going on in Yemen, Sudan, and Myanmar.)
I won't be their good little trans token who will smile while they misgender and missex me in a politically correct way, tell lies and falsehoods about my biology, or condemn me to a Trump presidency so that they can stay in their handlers' good books and not feel slightly icky.
(I'm going to add a disclaimer before people who don't medically transition bite my head off. Here goes.)
I know not everybody wants to or can medically transition. I grew up in a poor household with bigoted parents. It sucked. But I needed to medically transition and I've made big compromises in my life in order to be able to transition: I left academia even though I would have liked to stay, I decided I wasn't going to have kids, I don't take vacations away from home, and I accepted a job with long hours, slightly dubious ethics, and a 24/7 on-call rota in order to afford medication and surgery. Medical transition ranked slightly after food and shelter in my personal hierarchy of needs. Not everybody has the same opportunities that I did. I hope I've demonstrated how important it was for me to medically transition, though.
If you want to medically transition and you can't then I feel for you. It is an extremely unenviable position and I know because I was in it for a long time. I hope you're able to medically transition soon. If you don't want to medically transition then that's great! Please don't try to hold back the people who do. Describe yourself as the sex you were assigned at birth if that works for you but don't demand that I do the same for myself.

*long post ahead but hoping you can hear me out
I recently matched with this guy in bumble. In our first exchange of convo, he immediately asked if I am available to meet up with him. Of course I declined bc I have plans. We didn’t talk about anything but matching our schedules to meet up (I never met up with anyone in bumble btw). Then there came a time that our schedules agreed so we decided to meet up. We transferred from bumble to phone texts/calls (this was new to me, kinda old school lol). We had calls almost every night (yes, just at night) and he rarely replies to my texts. He just calls without notice like I am a free person lol. When we plan on meeting up, he would suggest to go to his place but I always reject that idea because I’m not comfortable going to someone’s place. I would suggest to go to a mall or a park instead.
Fast forward to few hours before meeting up (we decided to meet in a mall), he took a raincheck for an urgent meeting at work. I was pretty disappointed bc it was my first meet up and I kinda expected something fruitful for us to discuss. He was sorry and also explained his side. Moving to the next day, he invited me again for a quick meet up (he also suggested his place again for crying out loud!!!) but I also told him that I’ll be meeting up with my friend prior seeing him. He agreed to wait naman and meet on a resto side of the mall that we both knew. I kept updating him my status and if I have booked otw there then he texted raincheck again just because I already ate?? But still I inisted to meet up with him to have drinks. We had a great conversation and ended the night well. I got home and as usual, he called and ended the call quickly too. Then the next day, i found out that he unmatched me in bumble.
I didn’t go deep into the details but i also understand that he is a busy person but not to the point unmatching me. I’m not also generalizing guys but are there really guys out there who are like this? Do you just stop and move on immediately or just have a last convo to properly end this?

First Off: SPOILERS FOR THE STORY!
Even if it was not perfect, I highly recommend "A Study in Scarlet!" It's fascinating to see Sherlock Holmes' first literary adventure. Not only to compare and contrast it with how the character and its interpretations have evolved over the years, but to witness the craft and skill of Arthur Conan Doyle in crafting a gripping Victorian yarn (at about the tenth the size of the usual length of a serialized story of that period)
You've been warned!
"Study in Scarlet" is many things, but it certainly is no boring.
I had spent many years of my young life being exposed to many differing interpretation of iconoclastic consulting detective, and have loved almost every single one of them. But, in spite of there (usually) good quality, these were merely "echoes" of the actual thing.
As such, earlier this year, me and several friends of mine formed a sort of book club, intent on finally reading this famed novel. We would go about it a chapter every two days and hopefully finish it in about a month.
Well, life being what it is, delays in readings accrued. For some, it was a missed chapter on a particular day (guilty as charged).
For others, well, they're still reading it.
Which brings me to this review. Two months back I had finally finished my copy of the novel, a beautifully researched and annotated printed under the "Oxford World Classics" label. I would heartily recommend this version, as it helped clarify some of the misconceptions put forth by the book in its second half, shedding a light on some of Arthur Conan Doyle's politics in the process.
More on that later.
For now, let's get on with the show.
It's 1881 in Victorian Era England. John Watson, a 2nd Afghanistan War Doctor has been discarged back to his home country following injury. Quickly running out of money from the meager army pension he makes, he meets up with an old hospital colleague who introduces him to the titular Sherlock Holmes.
This introduction was utterly fascinating, portraying a Sherlock who is utterly giddy and quirky in a way that I've never seen him as in any other adaption. It immediately sheds a light on his eccentric nature, and I would be remissed if I didn't mention how it seems to feel reminiscent of those on the spectrum. I almost lament that this aspect of his character is largley absent in most adaptions. It's quite endearing.
Following this meet-up, Sherlock and Watson get on quite well. Enough so that they decide to purchase an apartment and become roommates on, you guessed it, 221b Baker Street.
(An address that doesn't actually exist, as my annotated copy pointed out. Shame.)
It is at this point, Watson notes, that he realizes just how eccentric Holmes really is.
We have the usual expected details, the ones adaptions tend to carry over. Is reading of police reports and "sensational literature," his immense knowledge of poisons and murder methods, and even a violin he strums to calm himself. Then there are the more... obscure aspects. Thankfully, Watson made a sort of list that can help. His uncommon knowledge of all things crime seems to have usurped the place of layman's knowledge in his "Mind palace." His awareness of politics is little, and his knowledge of normal literature, philosophy, and astrology is "nil," to quote Watson.
He doesn't even know that the Earth revolves around the Sun.
Yes, you read that correctly.
Sherlock Holmes. Master detective. Doesn't know that the Earth revolves around the damn Sun.
Utterly, hilarious.
Anyways, after some rumination on the science of deduction, we are thrust into the story either an incoming telegram from Inspector Lestrade. Since Sherlock's occupation is being a consulting detective, he offers aid to the stumped police for a small fee. A man has been found dead from a supposed suicide in an abandoned building, with only a bloody word written above a mantelpiece as any indication of motivation.
"RACHE"
However, rather than focusing on the crime itself, Sherlock focuses on the surrounding area, poking around and astutely Study every single little detail he comes across with utter focus. After an extended amount of time does he actually arrive at the main crime scene to study, and the bloody message. The police, of course, assume it's a name: "Rachel." However, Sherlock (in his boundless intelligence) surmises that it is actually the German word "Revenge." Not only that, but he figures out there was another man, working out his height, walk, and dress.
This isn't a suicide. It's murder.
The investigation continues, another murder occurs, a suprisingly exciting chase scene happens, and finally Sherlock lures the murderer right into the heart of 221b Baker Street.
Enter "The Killer Mormons."
It's at this point that the story takes an unexpected left turn, as we suddenly flash back 34 years ago in America, and a community of Mormons in Salt Lake City.
Look, before we proceed, I should clarify that I am not Mormon. At best, my exposure to Mormon culture was stumbling across a Mormon museum out in Albany, NY and that one South Park Episode.
All of that is to say that I don't know too much about the culture, so I was appreciative that my book helped clarify some misconceptions and biased viewings that Doyle sadly indulged in here. For what little Doyle got right, he got a lot wrong, with a lot of it seemingly being the result of fear mongering and disgust. It's kind of uncomfortable, seeing Doyle villianize an actual religion and community and portraying them as a murderous cult with a secret hit squad essentially.
It's weird, and it definitely sheds a light on why I've never seen a straight adaption of this story.
Still, we get a fascinating tragic love story. The murderer was an American cowboy simply avenging his dearly beloved, a young girl adopted by the Mormon community along with her own adoptive dad. She and her father intended to leave the community, but the Motmon Elder was having none of it, intending to marry her off to another Mormon member. After the girl and her father were murdered by the earlier murder victims of this story in retaliation, the cowboy set off on a trail of vengeance that would stretch on for decades, until the stars finally aligned for him to go in for the kills. And once he explains his side of the story to Holmes and the police, he dies of an aneurysm.
The next day, the papers credit the police for cracking the case, leaving Watson determined to set the record straight much to Holmes' bemusement.
And with that, our mystery comes to an end.
I walked away from the story feeling bowled over by the sheer scope of it all. What started off as a classic Holmes mystery, evolved into a western epic full of love, betrayal, death and... Killer Mormons.
It should probably be a testament to Doyle's immense skill as a storyteller that the deeply flawed second section was as compelling as it was. It's flawed view of Mormon culture definitely didn't help it, and one wonders if it were replaced with a generic commune/cult, it would have been the better for it. It certainly was interesting regardless, but perhaps my own love of western movies helped.
It was great to finally see Sherlock's "science of deduction" methodology in play, and it's as amazing as I've heard.
I also came away from the novel better appreciating what Doyle brought to the detective genre, and even Sherlock as a whole!
To those who have seen media based on Sherlock, and loved it, I implore you to check out the novels. At least then I'll have someone to talk about this crazy book with, heh.
Can't wait to read "The Sign of Four" next!

Sorry for the long post- my hearts been heavy and I (25f) needed to let it out somewhere. This could just be menstrual emotions but I’ve had them for a couple months now and it’s seriously bothering me. I had an amazing relationship with my family and easily made friends growing up. I strived to be a good student, a polite kid, even was an incredible pushover for many years of my life to make others comfortable. Recently, I’ve started setting more boundaries. My mom has complimented my high expectations of people as of lately and I know that can come with a bit of isolation since I’m more picky with who I want surrounding my energy. Even so, I don’t think I’m anyone’s number one. Like at all. Not even in my family. Maybe my dog. My mom has my dad. I have 2 brothers that are closer in age and they are best friends and have their own social circles of course. I also moved out and they still live at home and play hockey. My parents have made some amazing parents friends in the hockey community as well, while my day to day is mostly just work and trying to work on building better habits. My grandparents unknowingly make it quite apparent who their favorite grandchildren are (I will say for one, I might be a second favorite) and I have a very small circle of friends I just started surrounding myself with. This is because I had to cut off my ex best friend (setting boundaries) and basically every other friend in my social circle was mutuals with her. I felt like I couldn’t trust anyone in that group to not go back to her if I got anything off my chest about our friendship or why I cut her off and I really didn’t want more drama. I’m single and can’t for the life of me find a decent man or really any guy who hasn’t straight up told me that they just want a booty call. I take care of my grandma when I’m not working my 9-5 and yet, she still prioritizes my hot mess of an aunt who’s literally stolen money from her. That is just the tip of the iceberg of the terrible way she treats my grandma, but I’m still the one she gets annoyed with because I’m making sure she’s bathing and taking her meds. Recently, I’ve tried mending my relationship with my grandfather, but he favors his second oldest granddaughter despite her intentionally blowing him off constantly. Unfortunately, she acts this way BECAUSE of my hot mess of an aunt, but that’s a story for another time. My other grandparents favor a younger cousin of mine who lives out of state and after that, another cousin who does live here gets just about all their attention because of her performing arts talent. Mind you, I also did performing arts, but she had voice and dance lessons growing up and got into college for musical theater recently. Something my grandparents love to constantly talk about with me and wonder why I didn’t make it as far as her. How much more resources and opportunities she has than I did. Don’t get me wrong, I talk to my mom everyday, I get along with my younger brothers very well and my grandparents are very kind, amazing people. While I didn’t align with my old friend group anymore and it was a blessing in disguise, it feels SO hard to make good, meaningful friendships at my age. I’ve joined FB groups, bumble BFF, book clubs, workout classes, etc. I’ve met amazing people, but not a best friend or partner that I’ve just clicked with. I see people with these amazing social circles getting ready for their weddings, or getting ready to have a baby, graduating college, traveling etc etc etc and I feel so BEHIND. I feel so lost. I’m really trying to make myself my own first priority but I feel so damn lonely. Healing is such a roller coaster and right now, I’m really struggling and feel so damn sad. I wouldn’t wish this kind of loneliness on my worst enemy. I’ll keep pushing and putting myself out there and praying that it works, but this is where I’m at now. If you read all this, thank you and I’m sorry if I made you sad. I’ll be okay. Just sucks right now.

my god i am sick and TIRED of these neighbors, for context they’re the same neighbors who tore down our fence that divided our properties without permission two years ago and came onto our property to cut down trees because “they were ugly”(yes police was involved)they moved in during 2020 from another state and they were nice at first but once they realized they couldn’t just get their way with us with “get a new fence that one is old and ugly” “cut those trees in your yard they’re super dry and ugly” etc. that’s when they began to harass us and even tried to get our neighbors to go against us which didn’t work, we’ve lived here for 15 years and we’ve always got along with our neighbors so that didn’t go well for them.
they constantly harass my dogs and have tried to harm them multiple times, have made HUNDREDS of complaints against us, whether it’s waste complaints, noise complaints, they’ve accused us of everything in the book but of course we’ve never been fined or it’s never gone to court because they never have proof of what they accuse us of. they’re all just warning letters we get from the city or animal control saying “we got a complaint from this neighbor about this” we constantly get them in the mail or animal control showing up at our doorstep it’s just ANNOYING.
we’ve had animal control come over multiple times and they’ve seen everything is fine, no proof of what they’re accusing us of so they leave, we have already told them those specific neighbors are constantly harassing us and my dogs with false complaints so they said they would keep that in mind and i think they stopped taking them seriously for a couple of months but they started AGAIN last week.
they’ve tried poisoning my dogs, they constantly throw stuff at them through the makeshift fence they made, they wet them and constantly stand near them when they’re outside to antagonize them. they literally stand near them on their side of the property and whistle at them and laugh and throw rocks and spray water at them and obviously my dogs bark at them. i’m just so TIRED of them. i don’t know what to do anymore, there have been police reports made against them for harassing us constantly with false reports, harming my dogs, stealing from us, but they never stop. it’s like they do it purposefully to annoy us and i’ll admit it, it really is fucking annoying.
i wonder if getting a restraining order against them would make them leave us alone lol

The new fan art for cruel Prince is SO pretty like I forgot Dain was hot?? And of course my pretty pink princess cardan is gorgeous and oak too. And all of them. But I forgot Dain was hot.
Now I kinda wanna read a book where the MMC is like Dain and Cardan and Kaz Brekker from Sox of Crows in the sense that he is extremely calculating and good at reading people so he can manipulate them. But he’s also charming so they don’t realise they’re being manipulated. Preferably in a (high)fantasy setting with political intrigue.
And the FMC is his rival or something and they don’t like each other but they have to cooperate for a common goal.
Oh and also the MMC has to be really flirty and they both enjoy teasing each other.

I need some help remembering a book!
All I remember is the the FMC studied medicine but it was forbidden and she had to sneak around. She gets married and hides it from her husband or her knew but didn’t care. Something happens and she is forced to help someone but it was bloody and her husband witnessed it. She thinks he is never going to be able to look at her the same way so she runs off. Of course she’s pregnant and eventually has a son. She decided that she can’t keep her some from the legacy he is entitled to and the heir of a title man so she returns to leave her son and then go away again. Once she returns home she realizes that her husband has been looking for her and wants her stay - que the HEA. The only other think I really remember is that there is a scene at Christmas and they are having a party and the kids are trying to snatch hot raisins out of a drink. It’s a historical romance and I read it in the late 90s early 2000s. TIA!!

Hi there! I am elite platinum & booked a RT flight at $99. The same flight is now $79. What is my best course of action here - should i contact support to cancel the $99 trip and rebook at $79? I know they will only give me the difference in a voucher which I don't mind.

*long post ahead but hoping you can hear me out
I recently matched with this guy in bumble. In our first exchange of convo, he immediately asked if I am available to meet up with him. Of course I declined bc I have plans. We didn’t talk about anything but matching our schedules to meet up (I never met up with anyone in bumble btw). Then there came a time that our schedules agreed so we decided to meet up. We transferred from bumble to phone texts/calls (this was new to me, kinda old school lol). We had calls almost every night (yes, just at night) and he rarely replies to my texts. He just calls without notice like I am a free person lol. When we plan on meeting up, he would suggest to go to his place but I always reject that idea because I’m not comfortable going to someone’s place. I would suggest to go to a mall or a park instead.
Fast forward to few hours before meeting up (we decided to meet in a mall), he took a raincheck for an urgent meeting at work. I was pretty disappointed bc it was my first meet up and I kinda expected something fruitful for us to discuss. He was sorry and also explained his side. Moving to the next day, he invited me again for a quick meet up (he also suggested his place again for crying out loud!!!) but I also told him that I’ll be meeting up with my friend prior seeing him. He agreed to wait naman and meet on a resto side of the mall that we both knew. I kept updating him my status and if I have booked otw there then he texted raincheck again just because I already ate?? But still I inisted to meet up with him to have drinks. We had a great conversation and ended the night well. I got home and as usual, he called and ended the call quickly too. Then the next day, i found out that he unmatched me in bumble.
I didn’t go deep into the details but i also understand that he is a busy person but not to the point unmatching me. I’m not also generalizing guys but are there really guys out there who are like this? Do you just stop and move on immediately or just have a last convo to properly end this?

The past year his body has caught up with his age (72) and he’s finding it very hard to accept this. He has the mindset that because he can’t do things the way he used to anymore, he can’t do anything at all. He used to be a happy and easy-going guy (of course he’s had his moments), but now he is angry all the time. I try and talk to him but it seems like he doesn’t want to hear it. So maybe I can give him something that isn’t coming from his daughter. Does anyone have anything to help him through this transition? Books, articles, movies, advice, activities, literally anything! Ty!