Hello Helldivers and Super Destroyers across the Galaxy, this is John Howard, Former Helldiver of the First Galactic War, Now lead Engineer and Equipment Specialist aboard th SES Harbinger of Wrath.
I figured I'd start a broadcast to talk about the War effort fresh from the Front, because the Ministry of Truth, just like its past Earth counter part being the News, doesn't get all Details. Not Slandering, infact i got permission directly from the Ministry to make this broadcast. Anyways, I should probably get to talking about that info shouldn't I?
The Resistance on Meridia that has been preventing our Divers from injecting the Dark Fluid into the Planet's subsurface has decreased significantly over the last rotations, where as even lower threat areas that were deemed "Trivial" Provided a significant threat. Recently however, I personally have seen more Helldivers step off the Pelican recently, proving the effectiveness of this Illuminat tech. Some of my fellow Crewmates come from Meridia, and are disgusted with how there once beautiful homeworld has become home to an "Abominable Super Colony". And though they are sad to see it go, they understand that this is the only way to save their home. With more than 80% of the planet ready to fold, it seems Victory is Imminent.
News from Fenrir III system, it seems that the defense isn't goimg as planned, and evacuation of civilians, SEAF Personnel, and cryofrozen Helldivers is in progress. Democracy speed the steps of the 12,000 men and women fighting on that frozen planet.
Over in the Trigon sector, the Bots are putting up a hell of a Fight on Choepessa IV. A member of the crew, Native to Malevelon Creek and former miner stated that if the bots make a move for his homeworld again, he is willing to put in a form to be transferred from Sample Management to SEAF Infantry. Hopefully it won't come to that.
Alright folks, thats all for now, this has been your Bionic Armed Host, John Howard, and you have been my Audience, keep up the good fight. Back to your regular program
Aight bros, not sure if it had been done before but I thought it'd be cool to have a sort of broadcast like that Robin Williams movie "Good Morning Vietnam", or Three Dog from Fallout 3. So I put together the persona John Howard to do it. Why? Idk i thought it be fun. Of course everything is within the MoT guidelines so the Broadcast shouldn't get Terminated.

When medication options fail, what do you do? My two dogs are really great at home with just me, but they have really severe anxiety when outside and around others. They were both like this the moment I brought them home. One trembles and flails around the leash, making it hard to walk her. No food motivation at all, so it is automatic shutdown the moment the door opens. The other is the opposite, very hyperactive, whining and very vocal on walks and around others. When I got him, his documents reported great behavior with dogs, but he’s actually been in several scuffles with other dogs at the park, so I no longer feel comfortable having him off-leash. He still gets to go, but on leash and he cries the entire time. I’ve tried the ignoring method or giving him treats when he stops, but he’s actually gone hours without stopping. He’s just way too overstimulated and his anxiety meds don’t even seem to help.
I have to take them out at late night so they can actually run around and release their energy. This isn’t ideal though because most parks close and sometimes I feel unsafe in dark parks. If I did this during the daytime, they’d for sure run to the streets and get hurt. I take them out 2-3 hours daily and give them mental stimulation but that only seems to help them on a bare minimum level.
I’ve worked with a couple of trainers who have helped with redirecting and some steady discipline, which seems to help the short-term, but I sometimes lose hope that my dogs won’t reach an place that I had in mind and that this is the best they can do. When you exhaust your options and just keep going, what more can you do for your dogs? Just pushing through it? It’s been about 1.5 years. All the experts seem to just encourage me to keep doing what I’m doing….but I don’t feel like anything is working.

We've been working hard on training my sisters dog lately, but he's just gettibg worse. He's been to the vet, but today he was happy to see all of us. I sat a few feet away from him, and I was watching his body language. I looked to his eyes to make sure there was no whale eyeing and then noticed his lips moving, he then proceeded to lung forward.
He bit my breast, then i got up and stumbled back for safety and he followed, snapping his mouth and snarling at me. He jumped on me, clawing my legs and stomach, then bit me again on my breast but i was able to pull away both times so there's no blood
My sister is fully on board on that we cannot train Achilles anymore, we can't afford a trainer due to how bad the bills/life have gotten, and we legally cannot rehome him because of his noted aggression and bite history. I don't know what to even do anymore. We're having such a hard time finding someone for euthanizia because there's literally no options left. My sister has left all searching up to me, its so draining looking for things. I'd love if someone could drop links or suggestions on it, I'm just so lost
He's snapped every single cat for just walking past, snarled at people over the water bowl, and bit every human in the house in the last MONTH.

We may be adopting a pup that was abandoned and want to get him trained. Mostly just basic obedience training, he looks like he could get pretty big. Has anyone worked with a company locally that they'd recommend?

Does anyone know of any online training courses?? I was really looking forward to getting my dog certified as an AKC Star Puppy and Canine Good Citizen, but the closest organization is two hours away.
Long travel is practically impossible for me and trying to drive back and forth is absolutely not an option.
When I say there are literally zero training facilities near me, I mean it!! The closest thing I could do is hire a private trainer, but even then I could just do it myself.
I think my best option is to do an online AKC course and have a “professional evaluator” come to my house and eventually award me the certification after I train the dog myself according to the AKC standards.
Anyone else in this situation?

Feel free to ask me any questions. Shipping is free on orders over $20. Not every bottle is listed on the picture, but I can provide pictures if requested.
Shipping - US Only , Canada (Shipping Cost)
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Decant Bottles :
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Aaron Terence Hughes Official 10MLs
https://postimg.cc/gallery/TKKKfXG
Armani Code EDT :
1ml: $7 2ml: $8 3ml: $10 5ml: $13 10ml: $16
Armani Code Parfum :
1ml: $7 2ml: $8 3ml: $10 5ml: $13 10ml: $22
Armani Code EDP :
1ml: $7 2ml: $8 3ml: $10 5ml: $13 10ml: $16
Armani Code Absolu :
1ml: $7 2ml: $8 3ml: $10 5ml: $16
Armani Code Absolu Gold :
1ml: $7 2ml: $8 3ml: $10 5ml: $16
Armani Stronger With You Tobacco:
1ml: 9 2ml: $12 3ml: $15 5ml: $17 ​ ​ 10ml: 25
Armani Stronger With You Intensely:
1ml: 9 2ml: $12 3ml: $15 5ml: $17 ​ 10ml: 24
Armani Stronger With You Leather:
1ml: 9 2ml: $12 3ml: $15 5ml: $17 ​ ​ 10ml: 24
Armani Stronger With You OUD :
1ml: 9 2ml: $12 3ml: $15 5ml: $17 ​ ​ 10ml: 24
Atelier Cologne Musc Imperial :
1ml: $7 2ml: $8 3ml: $10 5ml: $16 10ml: $19
Atelier Cologne Orange Sanguine :
1ml: $7 2ml: $8 3ml: $10 5ml: $16 10ml: $19
Angel Mugler A Men :
1ml: 6 2ml: $9 3ml: $12 5ml: $15
Alien Mugler EDP Intense :
1.2ml : $7 ( Official Sample )
Argos Triumph Of Bacchus:
1ml: 8 2ml: $12 3ml: $17 5ml: $23
Argos Danae :
1ml: 8 2ml: $12 3ml: $17 5ml: $23
Aaron Terence Hughes Daddy:
1ml: $13 2ml: $18 3ml: $24
Aaron Terence Hughes Addicted :
1ml: $11 2ml: $15 3ml: $19
Aaron Terence Hughes Hard Candy Elixir :
10ML Official : $75
Aaron Terence Hughes Hard Candy :
1ml: $13 2ml: $18 3ml: $24 10ML Official : $75
Aaron Terence Hughes Onyx :
1ml: $13 2ml: $18 3ml: $24 10ML Official : $59
Aaron Terence Hughes Onyx Extreme:
1ml: $13 2ml: $18 3ml: $24
Aaron Terence Hughes Homme :
1ml: $9 2ml: $15 3ml: $19
Aaron Terence Hughes Slut :
1ml: $13 2ml: $18 3ml: $22 10ML Official : $69
Aaron Terence Hughes Slut Elixir :
1ml: $13 2ml: $18 3ml: $24 10ML Official : $79
Aaron Terence Hughes LUNA :
1ml: $9 2ml: $12 3ml: $19 5ml: $29
Aaron Terence Hughes Notorious :
1ml: $13 2ml: $18 3ml: $24 10ML Official : $69
Aaron Terence Hughes Supernova :
1ml: $13 2ml: $18 3ml: $24
Aaron Terence Hughes Jasmine Narcotique :
1ml: $9 2ml: $12 3ml: $19 5ml: $26
Aaron Terence Hughes Boss Bastard :
1ml: $9 2ml: $12 3ml: $19 5ml: $28
Aaron Terence Hughes Ozone :
1ml: $13 2ml: $18 3ml: $24
Aaron Terence Hughes Gardenia Blanc:
1ml: $9 2ml: $12 3ml: $19 5ml: $26
Aaron Terence Hughes Tabac :
1ml: $13 2ml: $18 3ml: $24
Aaron Terence Hughes Patchouli Noir :
1ml: $9 2ml: $12 3ml: $19 5ml: $26
Aaron Terence Hughes Legend :
1ml: $9 2ml: $12 3ml: $19 5ml: $26
Aaron Terence Hughes Fever :
1ml: $9 2ml: $12 3ml: $19 5ml: $26
Aaron Terence Hughes Blue Fever :
10ML Official - $69
Aaron Terence Hughes Carbon : (Pending)
1ml: $9 2ml: $12 3ml: $19 5ml: $26
Aaron Terence Hughes Fake Noir:
1ml: $9 2ml: $12 3ml: $19 5ml: $26
Aaron Terence Hughes Fake :
1ml: $9 2ml: $12 3ml: $19 5ml: $26
Aaron Terence Hughes KxxT :
1ml: $9 2ml: $12 3ml: $19 5ml: $26
Aaron Terence Hughes Aura :
1ml: $9 2ml: $12 3ml: $19 5ml: $26
Aaron Terence Hughes Guapo :
1ml: $9 2ml: $12 3ml: $19 5ml: $26
Aqua Di Parma Mandorlo Di Sicilia:
1ml: $6 2ml: $8 3ml: $10 5ml: $14 10ml: $16
​​Aventus Cologne By Creed :
1ml: $10 2ml: $15 3ml: $17 5ml: $24 10ml: $34 ​ ​
Amouage Jubilation XXV :
1ml: $10 2ml: $14 3ml: $18.99 5ml: $24
Amouage Opus XIV Royal Tobacco :
1ml: $10 2ml: $16 3ml: $22 5ml: $25
Amouage Opus XIV Reckless Leather :
1ml: $10 2ml: $16 3ml: $22 5ml: $25
Amouage Reflection Man :
1ml: $10 2ml: $14 3ml: $19 5ml: $24
Amouage Interlude Black Iris :
1ml: $10 2ml: $14 3ml: $19 5ml: $24
Amouage Interlude Overture Man :
1ml: $10 2ml: $14 3ml: $19 5ml: $24
Amouage Meander :
1ml: $10 2ml: $14 3ml: $19 5ml: $24
Azzaro The Most Wanted EDP Intense :
1ml: $7 2ml: $9 3ml: $12 5ml: $16 10ml: $22
Azzaro Wanted By Night Parfum ( New Silver Bottle ) :
1ml: $7 2ml: $9 3ml: $12 5ml: $16 10ml: $22
Bond No 9 Lafayatte Street :
1ml: $10 2ml: $13 3ml: $16 5ml: $19 10ml: $25
Bond No 9 New York Nights:
1ml: $10 2ml: $13 3ml: $16 5ml: $19 10ml: $25
​Bond No 9 I love NY :
2ml: $8 ​ ​
BDK Gris Garnel EDP :
4ml: $15
BDK Velvet Vanilla:
2ml: $13
Bvlgari Aqva Amara :
1ml: $8 2ml: $12 3ml: $15 5ml: $19 10ml: $25
Bvlgari Man In Black :
1ml: $7 2ml: $9 3ml: $12 5ml: $16 10ml: $22 ​ ​
Bvlgari Rain Essence:
1.5ml: $8 (official) 2ml : $9 3ml : $12 5ml : $16 ​ ​ 10ml: $25 ​ ​
Bvlgari Wood Neroli :
1ml: $7 2ml: $9 3ml: $12 5ml: $16 10ml: $22 ​
​Bleu De Chanel EDT :
1ml: $6 2ml: $9 3ml: $12 5ml: $16 10ML : $19
Bleu De Chanel EDP :
1ml: $6 2ml: $9 3ml: $13 5ml: $17
Bleu De Chanel Parfum :
1ml: $8 2ml: $11 3ml: $15 5ml: $19
Burberry Hero EDP :
1.5ml : $ 7 ( Official Sample ) ​
Chanel Allure Homme Eau Extreme :
2ml: $15 3ml: $17 5ml: $19
Chanel Allure Homme Edition Blanche :
2ml: $15 3ml: $17 5ml: $19
Creed Aventus EDP :
1ml: $10 2ml: $15 3ml: $17 5ml: $24 10ml: $34
Aventus Cologne EDP :
1ml: $10 2ml: $15 3ml: $17 5ml: $24 10ml: $34
Carolina Herrera Bad Boy Le Parfum :
1ml: $6 2ml: $8 3ml: $10 5ml: $15 10ml: $22 ​ ​
CH MEN Pasion :
1ml: $6 2ml: $8 3ml: $10 5ml: $15
​Carolina Herrera Bad Boy EDT :
1ml: $6 2ml: $8 3ml: $10 5ml: $15 10ml: $19 ​
Cartier Declaration Haute Fraicheur :
1ml: $6 2ml: $8 3ml: $10 5ml: $15 10ml: $19 ​
Coach Green For Men EDT :
1ml: $6 2ml: $8 3ml: $10 5ml: $15 10ml: $19 ​
2ml : $7 ( official Sample )
Coach New York For Men EDT :
2ml : $7 ( official Sample ) ​
​Calvin Klien Eternity For Men :
1.2ml : $7 ( Official Sample ) ​
Dolce & Gabbana The One EDP :
1ml: $6 2ml: $9 3ml: $11 5ml: $15
​Dolce & Gabbana Mysterious Night:
1ml: $6 2ml: $9 3ml: $11 5ml: $15
Dolce & Gabbana Light Blue Forever :
1ml: $6 2ml: $9 3ml: $11 5ml: $14
Dolce & Gabbana Light Blue Italian Love :
1ml: $6 2ml: $9 3ml: $11 5ml: $15
​Dior Homme Cologne :
1ml: $6 2ml: $9 3ml: $11 5ml: $15
​Dior Homme Parfum :
1ml: $9 2ml: $15 3ml: $17 5ml: $24 10ml: $34
​​Dior Homme Intense :
1ml: $9 2ml: $11 3ml: $15 5ml: $18 10ml: $24
Dior Suavage EDT :
1ml: $7 2ml: $9 3ml: $13 5ml: $16 10ml: $19
Dior Suavage Elixir :
1ml: $10 2ml: $14 3ml: $17 5ml: $19 10ml: $26 ​
Guerlain L’homme Ideal Parfum :
1ml: $10 2ml: $13 3ml: $15 5ml: $19
Guerlain L’homme Ideal EDT :
1ml: $8 2ml: $9 3ml: $13 5ml: $16 10ml: $19
Guerlain L’homme Ideal EDP :
1ml: $8 2ml: $11 3ml: $13 5ml: $16 10ml: $19
​Guerlain L’homme Ideal Extreme :
1ml: $8 2ml: $11 3ml: $13 5ml: $16 10ml: $19 ​
Guerlain L’homme Ideal Cologne :
1ml: $10 2ml: $15 3ml: $18 5ml: $22 10ml: $27 ​ ​
Guerlain L’homme Ideal Platini Prive :
1ml: $10 2ml: $13 3ml: $16 5ml: $19 10ml: $26 ​
​Guerlain L’homme Ideal Sport :
1ml: $10 2ml: $15 3ml: $18 5ml: $22
​Guerlain L’homme Ideal Cool :
2ml: $15 3ml: $18
Givenchy Gentlemen EDT Intense :
1ml: $7 2ml: $9 3ml: $10 5ml: $13 10ml: $17 ​ ​
Givenchy Gentlemen Boisee EDP :
1ml: $7 2ml: $9 3ml: $10 5ml: $13 10ml: $17 ​
Givenchy Gentlemen Reserve Privee :
1ml: $7 2ml: $9 3ml: $11 5ml: $15 10ml: $19 ​
Givenchy Gentlemen Society Extreme :
1ml: $8 2ml: $11 3ml: $13 5ml: $17 10ml: $24
Givenchy Gentlemen Society :
1ml: $8 2ml: $11 3ml: $13 5ml: $16
Goblin Parfums Rogue :
1ml: $10 2ml: $12 3ml: $15 5ml: $17 10ml: $22 ​
Goblin Parfums Humidor :
1ml: $10 2ml: $12 3ml: $15 5ml: $17 10ml: $22 ​
​Givenchy PI EDT :
1ml : $7 2ml: $9 3ml: $10 5ml: $13 10ml: $17
Hugo Boss The Scent Magnetic :
1ml: $7 2ml: $12 3ml: $14 5ml: $19 10ml: $24
​Hugo Boss The Scent Le Parfum :
1ml: $7 2ml: $9 3ml: $12 5ml: $15 10ml: $19
​ ​Hugo Boss The Scent Private Accord :
1ml: $7 2ml: $9 3ml: $12 5ml: $15 10ml: $19
​Initio Narcotic Delight :
1ml: 9 ​ 2ml: $14 3ml: $18 5ml: $24
Initio Oud For Greatness :
1ml: $10 2ml: $13 3ml: $16 5ml: $19 10ml: $26 ​
Initio Paragon :
1ml: 9 ​ 2ml: $14 3ml: $18 5ml: $24
Initio Side Effect :
1ml: 9 ​ 2ml: $14 3ml: $18 5ml: $24
Initio Rehab :
1ml: 9 ​ 2ml: $14 3ml: $18 5ml: $24
Issey Miyake Noire Ambre :
1ml: $11 2ml: $14 3ml: $17 5ml: $22 10ml: $26
Issey Miyake Nuit Dissey Parfum :
2ml: $4 3ml: $6 5ml: $9 10ml: $17 ​
Issey Miyake L’eau Dissey EDT :
2ml: $4 3ml: $6 5ml: $9 10ml: $17 ​
Jean Paul Gaultier Le Beau Paradise Garden :
1ml: $11 2ml: $15 3ml: $18 5ml: $21​
Jean Paul Gaultier Le Male :
1ml: $7 2ml: $12 3ml: $14 5ml: $15 10ml: $19 ​
Jean Paul Gaultier Ultra Male :
1ml: $7 2ml: $12 3ml: $14 5ml: $17 10ml: $21
Jean Paul Gaultier Le Male Le Parfum :
1ml: $7 2ml: $12 3ml: $14 5ml: $17 10ml: $22 ​
Jean Paul Gaultier Le Male Elixir :
1ml: $7 2ml: $12 3ml: $14 5ml: $17 10ml: $22
Jean Paul Gaultier Le Beau Le Parfum Intense :
1ml: $7 2ml: $12 3ml: $14 5ml: $19 10ml: $29
Jean Paul Gaultier Le Beau EDT :
1ml: $7 2ml: $9 3ml: $12 5ml: $15 10ml: $19 ​ ​
Jean Paul Gaultier Scandal Pour Homme EDT :
1ml: $7 2ml: $9 3ml: $12 5ml: $15 10ml: $19 ​ ​
Joop Homme Le Parfum :
1ml: $7 2ml: $9 3ml: $11 5ml: $13 10ml: $17 ​
John Vavartos XX Teal :
1ml: $6 2ml: $9 3ml: $11 5ml: $13 10ml: $17
​ ​John Vavartos Artisan Pure :
1ml: $6 2ml: $9 3ml: $11 5ml: $13 10ml: $17 ​
John Vavartos Dark Rebel :
1ml: $6 2ml: $9 3ml: $11 5ml: $13 10ml: $19
John Vavartos Dark Rebel Rider :
1ml: $6 2ml: $9 3ml: $11 5ml: $13 10ml: $19
Jo Malone Nectarine Blossom :
1ml: $7 2ml: $9 3ml: $11 5ml: $13 10ml: $19
Khaltat Night Attar Collection:
1ml: $7 2ml: $9 3ml: $11 5ml: $13 10ml: $19
Kay ALi Vanilla I 28 :
1.5ml : $7 ​
Kilian I Don’t Need A Prince By … :
1ml: $9 2ml: $11 3ml: $14 5ml: $17
Louis Vuitton L'Imensite :
1ml: $10 2ml: $15 3ml: $18 5ml: $27
Louis Vuitton Afternoon Swim :
1ml: $10 2ml: $15 3ml: $18 5ml: $25
Louis Vuitton Meteore :
2ml: $15
Louis Vuitton Orage :
2ml: $15
Maison Francis Kurkdjian OUD Extrait De Parfum :
2ml: $15 3ml: $18 5ml: $29
Mind Games Checkmate:
8ml : $25
Memo Paris Irish Leather :
1ml: $7 2ml: $11 3ml: $13 5ml: $17
Memo Paris African Leather:
1ml: $7 2ml: $11 3ml: $13 5ml: $17
Montale Arabian Tonka :
1ml: $7 2ml: $11 3ml: $13 5ml: $16 10ml: $19 ​
Mancera Tonka Cola:
1ml: $7 2ml: $11 3ml: $13 5ml: $16 10ml: $19 ​
Mancera Pearl:
1ml: $7 2ml: $11 3ml: $13 5ml: $16 10ml: $19 ​
Mancera Amore Caffe :
1ml: $7 2ml: $11 3ml: $13 5ml: $16 ​
Mancera Cedrat Boise :
1ml: $7 2ml: $11 3ml: $13 5ml: $16 10ml: $19 ​
Mancera Instant Crush :
1ml: $7 2ml: $11 3ml: $13 5ml: $16 10ml: $19
Mancera Cosmic Pepper :
1ml: $7 2ml: $11 3ml: $13 5ml: $16 10ml: $19 ​
Mancera Red Tobacco :
1ml: $7 2ml: $11 3ml: $13 5ml: $16 10ml: $19
Mancera Aoud Vanille :
1ml: $7 2ml: $11 3ml: $13 5ml: $16 10ml: $19 ​ ​
Mancera Kumkat Wood :
1ml: $7 2ml: $11 3ml: $13 5ml: $16 10ml: $19 ​
Michael Malul West Loop :'
1ml: $6 2ml: $8 3ml: $11 5ml: $13 10ml: $16​
Michael Malul EdgeWater :
1ml: $6 2ml: $8 3ml: $11 5ml: $13 10ml: $16 ​ ​ 15ml: $19 ​
Michael Malul Terra Nova :
1ml: $6 2ml: $8 3ml: $11 5ml: $13 10ml: $16 ​ ​ 13ml: $19 ​
Moschino Toy Boy EDT :
1ml: $6 2ml: $8 3ml: $11 5ml: $13 10ml: $16 ​ ​
MontBlanc Explorer Platinum :
2ml : $7 ( Official Sample ) ​
MontBlanc Explorer EDP :
1ml: $6 2ml: $8 3ml: $11 5ml: $13 10ml: $16 ​
Montblanc Legend Spirit :
1ml: $6 2ml: $8 3ml: $11 5ml: $13 10ml: $16 ​ ​
Montale Honey Aoud :
1ml: $6 2ml: $8 3ml: $11 5ml: $15 10ml: $19 ​
Montale Arabian Tonka :
1ml: $6 2ml: $8 3ml: $11 5ml: $15 10ml: $19 ​
Nishane Ani :
1ml: $10 2ml: $13 3ml: $16 5ml: $19 10ml: $26 ​ ​
Nishane Hacivat :
1ml: $10 2ml: $13 3ml: $16 5ml: $19 10ml: $26 ​ ​
Narcisio Rodriguez Bleu Noir EDP :
1ml: 7 2ml: $13 3ml: $15 5ml: $18 10ml: $19
Narcisio Rodriguez Bleu Noir Parfum :
1ml: 7 2ml: $13 3ml: $15 5ml: $18 10ml: $19 ​ ​
Nosamatto Baraonda EDP :
1ml: 9 2ml: $13 3ml: $15 5ml: $22
Office For Men By Fragrance One :
1ml: 9 2ml: $14 3ml: $17 5ml: $22 10ml: $27
Unisex for Everybody By Fragrance One :
1ml: 9 2ml: $14 3ml: $17 5ml: $22 10ml: $27
Paco Rabanne 1 Million Prive :
1ml: 9 2ml: $17 3ml: $21 5ml: $26
Polo Red Extreme :
2ml: $12 3ml: $14 5ml: $16
Polo Red EDP :
1ml: 5 2ml: $9 3ml: $11 5ml: $13 10ml: $16​ ​
Polo Ralph Lauren Blue Parfum :
1.2ml : $7 ( Official Sample ) ​ ​
Prada Luna Rosa Carbon EDT :
1ml: 9 2ml: $12 3ml: $14 5ml: $16 10ml: $19
Prada Luna Rosa Extreme :
1ml: 9 2ml: $16 3ml: $18
Prada Luna Rosa Sport :
1ml: 9 2ml: $12 3ml: $14 5ml: $16 10ml: $19
Prada Luna Rosa Black :
1ml: 9 2ml: $13 3ml: $15 5ml: $17 10ml: $19
Prada L’homme :
1ml: 9 2ml: $11 3ml: $13 5ml: $16 10ml: $19
Prada L’homme Intense :
1ml: 7 2ml: $9 3ml: $15 5ml: $17 10ml: $24​ ​
Prada L’homme Leau :
1ml: 7 2ml: $8 3ml: $12 5ml: $15 10ml: $19 ​
Paco Rabane 1 Million Prive :
1ml: $8 2ml: $13 3ml: $15 5ml: $18
Paco Rabane Phantom :
1ml: $8 2ml: $9 3ml: $12 5ml: $14
Parfums De Marly Layton :
1ml: $8 2ml: $13 3ml: $15 5ml: $18 10ml: $27
Parfums De Marly Layton Exclusif :
5ml: $19
Parfums De Marly Pegasus Exclusif :
1ml: $8 2ml: $13 3ml: $15 5ml: $19 10ml: $29
Parfums De Marly Pegasus:
1ml: $8 2ml: $13 3ml: $15 5ml: $19 10ml: $26
Parfums De Marly Althair :
1ml: $8 2ml: $13 3ml: $15 5ml: $18 10ml: $29 ​ ​
Parfums De Marly Carlisle :
1ml: $8 2ml: $14 3ml: $16 5ml: $19 10ml: $31 ​ ​
Parfums De Marly Percival :
1ml: $8 2ml: $14 3ml: $16 5ml: $19
Replica By The Fireplace :
1ml: $7 2ml: $12 3ml: $14 5ml: $17 10ml: $22 ​ ​
Replica Jazz Club :
1ml: $7 2ml: $12 3ml: $14 5ml: $17
Replica Coffee Break :
1ml: $7 2ml: $12 3ml: $14 5ml: $17
Roja Parfums Elysium :
1ml: $10 2ml: $13 3ml: $16
Rasasi Hawas EDP:
1ml: 7 2ml: $10 3ml: $11 5ml: $13 10ml: $16 ​
Rasasi Hawas ICE :
1ml: 8 2ml: $11 3ml: $13 5ml: $15 10ml: $19​ ​
Ralph Lauren Beyond Romance :
1.2ml : $7 ( official Sample ) ​
Ralph Lauren Romance :
1.2ml : $7 ( official Sample ) ​
Ralph Lauren EDP :
1.2ml : $7 ( official Sample )
Serge Lutens Chergui :
1ml: 9 2ml: $12 3ml: $15 5ml: $17 ​ ​ 10ml: 24
Salvatore Ferragamo UOMO EDT :
2ml: $5 3ml: $8 5ml: $12 10ml: $15 ​ ​
Salvatore Ferragamo UOMO Signature :
2ml: $5 3ml: $8 5ml: $12 10ml: $15 ​
Salvatore Ferragamo Casual Life :
2ml: $5 3ml: $8 5ml: $12 10ml: $15​
Salvatore Ferragamo Spicy Leather :
2ml: $10 3ml: $13 5ml: $15 10ml: $19
Tom Ford Fucking Fabolous :
1ml: $11 2ml: $14 3ml: $17 5ml: $29
Tom Ford Oud Wood :
1ml: $9 2ml: $14 3ml: $17 5ml: $25
Tom Ford Ombre Leather :
1ml: $9 2ml: $14 3ml: $16 5ml: $19 10ml: $27​ ​
Tom Ford Ombre Leather Parfum :
1ml: $9 2ml: $14 3ml: $16 5ml: $19 10ml: $29
Tom Ford Tuscan Leather :
1ml: $9 2ml: $12 3ml: $16 5ml: $24
Tom Ford Oud Wood :
1ml: $9 2ml: $14 3ml: $17 5ml: $25
Tom Ford Black Orchid :
1ml: $6 2ml: $9 3ml: $12 5ml: $16 10ml: $19 ​ ​
Thomas Kosmala Arabian Passion :
8ML: $19 ​ ​
Terre D'hermes EDT :
1ml: $8 2ml: $9 3ml: $13 5ml: $17 10ml: $19 ​ ​
​Versace Oud Noir :
1ml: $8 2ml: $13 3ml: $15 5ml: $17 10ml: $19 ​
​Viktor & Rolf Spicebomb EDT :
1ml: $8 2ml: $11 3ml: $12 5ml: $14 10ml: $17 ​ ​
Viktor & Rolf Spicebomb Extreme :
1ml : $7 2ml: $13 3ml: $15 5ml: $17 10ml: $19 ​
Viktor & Rolf Spicebomb Infrared :
1ml : $7 2ml: $13 3ml: $15 5ml: $17 10ml: $19
Viktor & Rolf Spicebomb Infrared EDP :
1ml : $7 2ml: $13 3ml: $15 5ml: $17 10ml: $19 ​ ​
Viktor & Rolf Flowerbomb EDP :
1.2ml : $7 ( Official Sample ) ​ ​
Xerjoff Iommi Monkey Special :
1ml: $8 2ml: $15 3ml: $19 5ml: $26
Xerjoff Erba Gold :
1ml: $8 2ml: $13
Xerjoff Erba Pura :
1ml: $8 2ml: $13 3ml: $15 5ml: $22 10ml: $34
Xerjoff 1861 Naxos :
1ml: $8 2ml: $13 3ml: $15 5ml: $22 10ml: $34
Xerjoff 40 Knots :
1ml: $8 2ml: $13 3ml: $15 5ml: $22 10ml: $34
Xerjoff Apollonia :
1ml: $8 2ml: $15 3ml: $19
​ ​Xerjoff Renaissance :
1ml: $8 2ml: $12 3ml: $15 5ml: $22
Xerjoff Torino 21 :
1ml: $10 2ml: $15 3ml: $19 5ml: $26
​YSL Tuxedo :
5ml: $28
YSL Myslf :
1ml: $11 2ml: $19 5ml: $24 ​ ​
YSL Y LE Parfum :
1ml: $8 2ml: $11 3ml: $13 5ml: $16 10ml: $22 ​
​YSL La Nuit L’homme :
1ml: $8 2ml: $11 3ml: $13 5ml: $15 10ml: $19 ​ ​
YSL L’homme Parfum Intense :
1ml: $8 2ml: $13 3ml: $15 5ml: $19
YSL Bleu Electrique :
1ml: $11 2ml: $19 5ml: $24 ​ ​
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Armaf Club De Nuit Precieux :
2ml: $10 3ml: $12 5ml: $15
Paris Corner Rifaaqat :
2ml: $7 3ml: $9 5ml: $11 10ml : 14
Lattafa Asad Zanzibar :
2ml: $7 3ml: $9 5ml: $11 10ml : 14
Lattafa Khamrah Qahwa :
2ml: $7 3ml: $9 5ml: $11 10ml : 14
Lattafa Khamrah :
2ml: $7 3ml: $9 5ml: $11 10ml : 14
Maison Alhambra The Tux :
2ml: $7 3ml: $9 5ml: $11 10ml : 14
Maison Alhambra Jean Lowe Immortal :
2ml: $7 3ml: $9 5ml: $11 10ml : 14
Fragrance World Suits :
2ml: $7 3ml: $9 5ml: $11 10ml : 14
Rasasi Brilliant Silver :
2ml: $7 3ml: $8 5ml: $9 10ml : 12
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Lifetime - Staked: 921.15u, Profit/Loss: +14.81u, ROI: 1.61%, Parlay Suggestions: 177-69 Dog of the Week: 13-18, Picks: 8-3 (73% accuracy)
2024 - Staked: 274.05u, Profit/Loss: -18.55u
As always, scroll down for UFC Louisville Breakdowns. The following is just a recap of last event’s results.
~UFC 302 (PREVIOUS CARD)~
Staked: 12.5u
Profit/Loss: +7.64u
ROI: 61%
Parlay Suggestions: 3-0
Dog of the week: Cesar Almeida ❌
Picks: 8-3
Underwhelming card, but as expected it was a pretty easy one to predict. The favourites were mostly consistent, and most of the expected methods of victory landed. Nice profit made for once, but I think I had some fantastic reads on the card in spots that I didn’t bet. I said I expected Poirier to be competitive, and that Islam ITD wasn’t the lock people said it was. Matthews Decision was one I wanted to bet. I warned people that Hafez or Morono were the most likely bed-shitters. Basically, I think last week’s post would have been very useful to read.
✅ 2u Sean Strickland + Over 1.5 Rounds (-130) (won +1.54u)
✅ 2u Sean Strickland in R4, 5 or by Decision (+175) (won +3.5u) (accidentally edited this to 1u on the previous post, which wasn’t the intention. It’s was originally listed as 2u, and was tracked as such on my BetMMA record).
✅ 2u Kevin Holland + Grant Dawson (+110) (won 2.2u)
❌ 2u Cesar Almeida (+125)
❌ 1u Elizeu Zaleski dos Santos (+150)
✅ 2u Ailin Perez + Over 1.5 Rounds (-120) (won +1.66u)
✅ 1u Makhachev, Strickland, Holland, J. Almeida (+224) (won +2.24u)
❌ 0.5u Morono, Matthews, Hafez, Perez (+401)

~UFC Louisville~
Good to see more touring cards, and a slight step up in calibre from the usual Apex shit. Not a lot of spots I am confident in, I have to be honest…but I see a few underdogs that I’m sprinkling on.

~Jared Cannonier v Nassourdine Imavov~
Not another Nassourdine Imavov five rounder! I’m a fan of his skillset, but I think his cardio is suspect across 25 minutes, which ultimately makes his fights tricky to predict in spots like this. He’s not exactly a potent finisher, and I can’t trust him to win rounds four and five…so I think his path to victory is therefore limited by principal. A Nassourdine Imavov in a main event relies heavily on him winning R1, 2 and 3.
On the other side, Jared Cannonier is a guy I’ve never truly given the respect he deserves. A split decision win over Sean Strickland in a 25-minute fight is certainly impressive, as is the absolute beating he put on Marvin Vettori straight after* (* I believe Vettori has declined massively and is washed, so I won’t be going crazy in overreacting to that). Cannonier is a hard hitter, but he’s also gotten really comfortable in upping his volume across five round too, landing 141 and 241 significant strikes in those two aforementioned bouts respectively. The quantity didn’t dip in rounds 4 and 5 either, which is key considering my comments on Imavov’s cardio.
So I give Cannonier an advantage in R4 and 5, but what about across the other three? Well, the power advantage also goes to him, but the diversity with grappling and submission attempts falls with the Frenchman. Cannonier has started mixing takedowns into his game a bit more, which does present an opportunity for Imavov’s nasty front chokes…but other than that I’m not really sure where else I give Imavov a clear advantage outside of age and height. He’s the bigger fighter, but Cannonier is a strong dude and has looked just fine against other Middleweights (no one of Imavov’s size, to be fair).
Jared is now 40 years old, which is a bit of a dreaded number, which I think is the reasoning for this line being the way it is. People seem keen to blindly fade that age, regardless of whether it’s presented itself on tape. I see what they’re getting at, but Cannonier has put in two of his best performances of his career in his last two…I am not convinced it’s as simple as fading a 40 year old here.
So with that aside, I see far more merit to Cannonier’s side than Imavov’s, so the +100/-125 betting line feels off to me. I understand that Nassourdine just put in convincing performances against Roman Dolidze and Chris Curtis, but personally I think both of those fighters are a cut below Jared Cannonier (and I bet Nassourdine in both spots there). Cannonier would have looked good there too.
However, we have seen Imavov challenged against some of Middleweight’s common names, such as Sean Strickland and Joaquin Buckley…whilst Cannonier has looked good everywhere except against Izzy and Whittaker (he did drop a couple of rounds to Kelvin Gastelum, but it’s hardly raises alarm bells to me as Kelvin’s a tough guy to beat across 25 minutes of kickboxing).
I would personally make Cannonier the favourite here, anywhere between -125 and -150, and I assume the dreaded age of 40 is the reason for the odds here. I ask you this…if Jared Cannonier was 35, would the line be different? I believe it would be, and age is relative in MMA. It’s something to take seriously, of course, but I don’t think Cannonier even looked like he had started to decline in his most recent fight against Vettori last year.
I’ll be backing the underdog here at +100 or better. The line looks to be moving in Imavov’s favour so I will be patient.
How I line this fight: Jared Cannonier -137 (58%), Nassourdine Imavov +137 (42%)
Bet or pass: 1u Jared Cannonier to Win (+100 or better)
Prop leans: None
Live Betting Leans: If Cannonier looks to have won any of R1, 2, or 3 but is still a bettable price going into the championship rounds, I think he should be favoured to win those so could be a good entry in-play.

~Dominick Reyes v Dustin Jacoby~
This one should be fun for the live audience, but it’s an incredibly volatile fight for the bettors.
Very obvious to see why that’s the case for Dom Reyes – he’s got heaps of potential on a good day, but his chin is dust at this point. Seriously, he got knocked out cold by the jab of Ryan Spann. In a striking based fight at 205lbs, that’s all you need to know to decide that putting money on him is an uncomfortable idea.
Dustin Jacoby on the other hand is not the most potent finisher at Light Heavyweight, which immediately makes me think that Dustin isn’t the kind of guy you’d want to play executioner when he’s the favourite against someone with a flaw like Reyes’ chin. You want someone you can trust to put dudes to sleep in one punch – I don’t think that’s Jacoby (having gone the distance in seven of his 11 fights in this second UFC stint, and winning via leg kicks in one of the stoppages). Also, he’s not even particularly reliable to win rounds either, given that he was supposed to be the more technical fighter compared to Alonzo Menifield, Khalil Rountree, Azamat Murzakanov, and Maxim Grishin – where he was a moderate/big favourite every time, and never covered the price.
I still expect Jacoby to probably be the superior fighter across 15 minutes, but his -225 price tag definitely implies that a finish is expected by the oddsmakers…and I just have a whole lot less confidence that he lands it. From there, I also have less confidence that he’ll be the one winning rounds, given how easily he’s fumbled that in the past…so I just don’t see how you can have around 70% confidence in him winning here. Honestly I don’t really think Jacoby can ever justify that kind of pricetag at a UFC level when we have seen him shit the bed so many times.
On the other hand, I couldn’t trust Dominick Reyes’ chin to survive a strong gust of wind, so there’s no way I’d want to play him either. A very easy pass. I’ll pick Jacoby to win though, but I’d never bet him at this number.
In terms of thinking about props, I might be interested in looking at the Over 1.5 Rounds here, given that I disagree with the oddsmaker’s believe in Jacoby’s finishing ability. That’s going to be a horrible bet to sit through, so I’d probably need a decent price like +150 or better. We’ll see what they’re offering, but I doubt it’s that good.
How I line this fight: Dominick Reyes +175 (36%), Dustin Jacoby -175 (64%)
Bet or pass: Over 1.5 Rounds (+150 or better…no idea if that’s anywhere near what we’ll get)
Prop leans: See above

~Julian Marquez v Zach Reese~
Julian Marquez is a really fun fighter to watch, I’m glad to see him back inside the cage. He’s never been the most talented, but he’s a C+ at everything and has A grade heart. To beat him, you need to be clinical or vastly superior in one area, or Marquez might surprise you and turn the fight into a war of attrition.
Zach Reese is a 6-1 fighter that lost his debut Cody Brundage (I actually bet Brundage there, haha). Talk about fumbling the bag. He just seems like a classic DWCS fighter, who scores quick finishes against taxi drivers and then is suddenly expected to be diverse and talented enough to take on an actual trained professional that’s been competing against a much higher level for years. The difference between the regionals and the UFC has always been vast, and DWCS proves that time and time again.
Zach Reese’s longest fight time is 4 minutes and 13 seconds. He has literally never been in a fight that’s hit the second round. Julian Marquez, on the other hand, has gone longer than that in five of his 6 UFC appearances to date – and his opponents have all competed in the organisation at least five times. I genuinely think that tells you all you need to know.
And the craziest part is that Zach Reese ain’t even an inexperienced young gun. Him fumbling the debut wasn’t like Tom Nolan, a 24 year old kid that believed his own hype and got sloppy in his debut. Reese is THIRTY YEARS OLD.
The gulf in experience is massive, and the difference in age isn’t. I know Julian Marquez’s UFC record isn’t pretty at all, but how well do you think Zach Reese would fare if he faced the same opponents at the time Marquez did? I reckon he’d be 0-6.
Maybe I’m crazy, but Julian Marquez deserves better than to be a + money underdog against a literal regional opponent. Reese has tall man’s defence, he got tagged in both fights in DWCS/UFC and they were on the feet about 20 seconds combined. Yes he’s clearly got a great submission game on bottom, but Marquez has never been submitted, is a BJJ purple belt and has trained at decent camps before. He’s currently at the MMA Lab and has been training with Cannonier for this one.
I’ll be rolling the dice on the more proven fighter at +100.
How I line this fight: Julian Marquez -150 (60%), Zach Reese +150 (40%)
Bet or pass: 1u Julian Marquez to Win (+100)
Prop leans: None
Live Betting Leans: R1 finishers often have bad cardio, so if we get to the stool then Marquez is definitely worth a bet to turn the tide.

~Brunno Ferreira v Dustin Stoltzfus~
I can’t figure Dustin Stoltzfus out. He’s always presented himself as a good but one-dimensional grappler, judging by performances against high level competition such as Rodolpho Vieira and Gerald Meerschaert…but the way he showed up against Punahele Soriano made him look like a completely different guy. He was supposed to be easily outgunned on the feet there, but he looked seasoned and composed in the striking, and ultimately ended up getting a finish that I think very few people saw coming.
Brunno Ferreira is a super explosive Brazilian powerhouse that hasn’t gone past the halfway point in a fight yet. He throws heat and has that madman style, but his fights are so short I’ve no idea if he actually has any redeeming qualities from a technical or minute-winning perspective. As you probably know by now, my least favourite fighting style is ‘big strike go brrrr’. Ferreira has also had some bizarre results himself, pulling off a huge upset against Gregory Rodrigues, and then getting starched by Nursulton Ruziboev.
The only thing I know about Brunno is that he’ll go to war with an opponent that wants to meet him in the middle…I’ve no idea if Dustin Stoltzfus really wants to do that. He handled himself really well against a similar kind of style in Puna Soriano…but he’s also the same guy that got womped in under 20 seconds by Abus Magomedov.
To conclude, I think I could easily see Brunno Ferreira scoring an easy KO inside a couple of minutes, but I could also see this one looking way more competitive and close than the betting line suggests if Stoltzfus makes it to the stool. Lots of different possibilities, not a lot of confidence in any one outcome.
Brunno Ferreira kind of presents similar red flags to Zach Reese in the last breakdown. The difference between the two, and the reason I am fading Reese and not Brunno, is that I have confidence and knowledge that Marquez can handle that early chaos. I can’t say the same about Stoltzfus, so I won’t be taking a stab on him. Personally I think he’s absolutely the value side though, so if you’re someone who wants to bet every fight then absolutely take him.
I will also be picking him to win, but not because I think he does so 51% or more of the time…just because Ferreira is only known to have a limited path to victory that could easily fall apart.
How I line this fight: Such a volatile fight, I have no idea.
Bet or pass: Pass
Prop leans: None

~Punahele Soriano v Miguel Baeza~
Speak of the devil!
Punahele Soriano is so, so overrated. I have no idea how he’s even still in the UFC, or how he even got there in the first place. He was hyped up by Dana and the promo team as this scary and lethal striker….but then he pussy’d out and grappled his way to a decision win against Jamie Pickett on DWCS. Surprisingly they rewarded him with a contract (but didn’t want Brendan Loughnane!). Since then, lethal KO artist Puna has scored just three knockouts…but in the four fights he hasn’t, he’s looked like absolute shit. Getting schooled on the feet by Dustin Stoltzfus and Brendan Allen is a really bad look when you’re being advertised as a striker…and losing a decision to Nick Maximov isn’t a good look either!
To their credit, this fight against Miguel Baeza is a genius pairing by the UFC matchmakers though, because Baeza’s career has kind of panned out the same as Soriano’s. A hard hitting DWCS graduate, Baeza got off to a decent start with three consecutive finishes, most notably against Matt Brown. He stepped up the level of competition to face Santiago Ponzinibbio, which resulted in a life and death decision that he narrowly lost. Unfortunately, the losses snowballed dramatically as he was later KO’d by Khaos Williams and Andre Fialho. The latter result the most shocking, given that Fialho is dogshit. Baeza has since taken two years off…and everyone forgot he existed.
Apologies for taking two massive paragraphs to give you both men’s life stories, but it really does paint the picture of this fight from a betting perspective. Both men are overhyped KO artists - with one lacking in durability, and the other lacking in brain cells.
Puna is probably more likely to walk away with the KO win due to Baeza’s declining durability, but he’s also the more likely to get out-struck and styled on if this one turns into a longer distanced fight. Who wins that kind of fight? I have absolutely no idea. I’m just glad that one guy gets to stick around after this fight is over, because I’d be keen to fade both guys in the future.
I have little confidence so it counts for nothing, but I’ll pick Baeza simply because I like to fade finish-reliant fighters, and Miguel seems to be the more technical. His leg kick should work nicely here.
How I line this fight: Punahele Soriano +125 (45%), Miguel Baeza -125 (55%)
Bet or pass: Pass
Prop leans: None

~Raul Rosas Jr. vs Ricky Turcios~
I’ve copy/pasted my breakdown for this fight from the UFC Mexico event, and made some updated changes:
I’m still pretty gassed about hitting the fade on Raul Rosas Jr with Christian Rodriguez – definitely one of my favourite bets of 2023. I saw an untested 18 year old that was the beneficiary the UFC hype machine, and a then unknown opponent who had proven tricky to beat with the style Rosas Jr has. I saw it as a pick’em, and Rodriguez was +200. Easy bet to make.
In that fight, Rosas Jr kind of cardio-dumped and gave up once it was obvious that early finish wasn’t going to present itself, and that’s certainly a concern until we see him fight competently for 15 minutes at this level. I can think of countless UFC hype trains that hid their shocking minute winning ability behind dominant and exciting R1 finishes (Edmen Shahbazyan was my initial example, but since writing this Joe Pyfer has given another great recent example), and I therefore simply cannot trust Raul Rosas at this stage in his career when he’s still going to be sitting at -250 on the betting line due to his popularity.
Is Ricky Turcios worth the gamble as an underdog? I don’t really think so. He has been taken down seven and six times in two different UFC fights, has losses to Aimann Zahabi and Boston Salmon, and his wins were against Kevin Natividad and Brady Hiestand…which were both splits. The UFC are clearly treating this as a lay-up fight for Rosas Jr, but without feeding him a promotional newcomer or a fellow inexperienced guy. I don’t mean lay-up as if it’s a squash match, but it’s assumed that he SHOULD win here, instead of them throwing him to the wolves or making him go up against a fellow serious prospect.
Stylistically this one all revolves around the cardio for me, because I don’t think Turcios has what it takes to win this fight off the merit of his own skillset. He needs Rosas Jr. to gas out first, if he’s going to have any hope of having his way here. We have no way of knowing whether or not Rosas will gas, as it could have just been a one off and he’s so young that he could make the improvements quickly.
Personally, I’d be willing to give Rosas Jr the benefit of the doubt. The Rodriguez loss really should have opened his eyes, and it’s often the best thing for a young prospect to get that wake up call sometimes, as he was probably starting to believe his own hype. If the cardio is fixable, I assume he’s done all he can to fix it. He therefore deserves to be the favourite, but I won’t be betting on it.
How I line this fight: Raul Rosas Jr -200 (67%), Ricky Turcios +200 (33%)
Bet or pass: Pass
Prop leans: I was originally going to bet the Over 2.5 rounds, but I’ll pass on that now.

~Eduarda Moura v Denise Gomes~
Eduarda Moura’s UFC debut did not impress me at all. I didn’t bother researching her regional footage, and from what I saw in that debut she’s a size/weight bully that isn’t even that amazing at what she does. Yes she outgrappled and mauled that Mexican woman, but the size difference was comical and she couldn’t have found an easier opponent to beat if she tried.
I had one of my best bets of 2023 on Denise Gomes’ last fight against Angela Hill (big up Angie for winning a couple of weeks ago, she’s such a money train for me), opting to fade the scary finishing ability of a WMMA fighter for a more technical and historically durable veteran on the return. Not only did Angie school her, she even managed to mix in some grappling to make the win even more stylish. That gets the alarm bells ringing here, as Moura’s MO is definitely to grapple, and Angie’s no grappler.
I don’t have a strong opinion on this one, because both women give me very strong fraud vibes. I think Moura is absolutely going to be one to fade in the future, and Gomes has already been faded in the past. Personally I don’t think the equally limited Denise Gomes is the woman to give Moura her first L, because stylistically this looks like a tricky fight for her. Fingers crossed Moura wins and the fade opportunity is live next time. It’s an easy pass for me.
How I line this fight: No idea, they’re both frauds
Bet or pass: Pass
Prop leans: None

~Puja Tomar v Rayanne Amanda (dos Santos)~
Some people believe in the narrative that you should try and fade Indian fighters. That worked pretty well last time Jeka Sarragih fought!
I bet on Rayanne dos Santos in her UFC debut, and she lost a split to an inexperienced opponent with bad cardio. I was impressed with her striking in Invicta, but she struggled to do anything meaningful stuff in that UFC debut. By the looks of the early line I’m seeing, she’s about -180 here. Who the hell is going to bet that!?
I obviously know nothing about Puja, but her record shows she’s fought two serious opponents. You know I love WMMA more than anyone else, but I have absolutely no interest in doing tape for this one. Pass.
How I line this fight: No idea
Bet or pass: Pass
Prop leans: None

~Cody Stamann v Taylor Lapilus~
Very disappointed by the betting line here. When a fight like this gets announced, I immediately get excited because I think there’s a chance the books might get caught out and give a very bettable price on a fight that seems close on paper, but should be quite one-sided in reality, due to the stylistics.
Taylor Lapilus deserves to be -200 here, maybe even steeper. Reason being, he’s great where Stamann is average, but he’s also good where Stamann is good. The Frenchman is a slick striker that should certainly be expected to land the more eye-catching shots, when compared to Stamann’s T-Rex boxing. He will enjoy a 9-inch reach advantage, and should just be able to hit and not get hit. Stamann barely has any power either, so even if he does land a punch for every two he absorbs, I doubt it’s going to do much to convince the judges to credit him as the round winner.
Cody Stamann has veered away from his wrestling roots in recent fights, but you’d think it would serve him well here, given the reach and technical disadvantage he will find himself at. Whilst this would be true against another opponent, Taylor Lapilus has a very good anti-grappling game. His takedown defence is good, but even when he does get floored he works hard and effectively to get back to his feet, or at the very least nullify his opponent. His most recent fight was an exception to that as Farid Basharat made light work of him…but that was a very impressive performance that I don’t think many could replicate.
So in summary, I think Stamann is going to be shut out here, and I don’t think he’s going to really be able to find success anywhere in this fight. He will either stand at distance and clearly get outstruck by the fighter with the better footwork that will keep him at range…or he attempts to wrestle and likely has little luck at finding any real success. At the very least, the success he does have probably won’t be enough to erase the striking deficit he’s already accrued.
On a more narrative based note, Stamann also appears to have regressed a fair bit in recent years. He was once a gatekeeper to the top 15, drawing with the likes of Song Yadong and even winning a round against Merab…but since then losing decisions to 37-year-old Douglas Silva de Andrade and winning questionable decisions against Luan Lacerda. I’d say this is a tricky fight for Stamann in his prime, but Cody’s trending downwards too.
As I said in the opening paragraph, I’m disappointed that the books didn’t offer a better price on Lapilus, and I’m interested to see if money comes in on Cody still. Personally I’d be happy to bet Lapilus at -175 or better, but I’d need the line to improve slightly before I could play it. I might parlay him with someone on next week’s card once I get further down the line researching it.
How I line this fight: Cody Stamann +225 (31%), Taylor Lapilus -225 (69%)
Bet or pass: No bet, for now.
Prop leans: None

~Brad Katona v Jesse Butler~
The less time spent talking about this one, the better. Brad Katona is possibly the least intimidating MMA fighter to have ever graced the UFC, both in the way he fights, and his demeanour. The former is more important, because he can sometimes struggle to win rounds because he’s outgunned most of the time. He needs to put on a perfect defensive display to win striking fights, because if he gets wobbled he probably can’t get the round back.
Jesse Butler is a can with about as much of a right to be on the UFC’s roster as I do. He has no striking ability, as seen in his 23 second KO MASSACRE at the hands of 40-year-old Jim Miller (one of my favourite KOs of 2023 that one, definitely recommend if you didn’t see it!). That lack of striking ability, both offensively and defensively, means that he is very unlikely to get the better of a good point fighter like Brad Katona. But everyone has a puncher’s chance.
Katona is nearly -600 here. Mostly justified, but also eye-wateringly steep at the exact same time when you consider Katona’s path to victory is almost exclusively by decision! Pass.
How I line this fight: Brad Katona -400 (80%), Jesse Butler +400 (20%)
Bet or pass: Pass
Prop leans: Me to fall asleep watching this one (+200 or better)

~Ludovit Klein v Thiago Moises~
Two guys I have historically had a very tricky time analysing. I was high on Klein when he made his debut, then I turned my back on him after the losses to Trizano and Landwehr – and since then he’s been pulling off upsets and continuing to prove he was worth the hype he entered the UFC with. The dude has some of the best high kicks I’ve ever seen from a fighter.
Thiago Moises has always been credentialed and talented, but he’s failed to deliver on the promises his abilities make on paper. Moises is capable of taking fighters down and submitting them early, but it’s genuinely taken nine UFC fights for him to actually go out there and do that. And then he did it twice in a row (against Giagos and Melq Costa).
So I think that does a good job of explaining why I am going to be non-committal and just leave this fight alone. Klein is great when he’s on form, but he’s shown himself to be capable of dropping the ball in fights he really should win. He’s proven himself to be a guy that you back as an underdog, but avoid as a favourite. He’s barely either here, but he does have a minus next to his name.
Moises is also too inconsistent to trust either. I think there’s a chance that this could be a winnable fight for him, as his grappling will definitely be superior if he can force things to the floor. That sounds like a great opportunity for a +100 fighter…but Moises definitely won’t look that number if he decides to stand and trade – and his 1.64 takedowns landed per 15 minutes statistic is enough to assume he won’t.
The oddsmakers are right in lining this one close, because both men have very legitimate paths to victory with only a few small factors landing in their favour. I’d argue that Klein is the rightful favourite (and therefore my pick) due to all fights starting standing and Moises’ track record…but this is a close one.
How I line this fight: Ludovit Klein -125 (55%), Thiago Moises +125 (45%)
Bet or pass: Pass
Prop leans: None

~Charles Radtke v Carlos Prates~
If you’re a regular reader of my posts, you may know that historically I am someone who genuinely thinks Trevin Giles has some redeeming qualities. In fact, I claimed in his recent fight against Carlos Prates that the line was wide, and that Giles may be able to find a way to have some success. Having watched that fight back, I think I was justified to feel that way.
I liked what I saw from Prates on DWCS, with the way he mixed up volume, pressure and power…but ultimately that performance against Giles was a bit concerning. He definitely lost round one, and by the end of the fight he was outstruck almost two to one. Of course, he won via KO…but to expect a fighter to be bailed out by their raw power every time is a bit foolish.
Charles Radtke is ironically a fighter I’ve had nothing but bad things to say about. I slated his debut win against Mike Mathetha (the artist formally known as Blood Diamond), and tried to fade him when he faced Gilbert Urbina. Boy did he look great in that sophomore appearance, I was really impressed. His striking just seemed so tight, accurate and crisp, I couldn’t believe how easily he pieced up Urbina.
I’m obviously not super confident in my analysis here, simply due to the lack of tape we have on both guys…but I don’t really understand what we are supposed to have seen from Prates to justify a -200 pricetag? He was struggling against Giles, and had he not landed the precise punch that ended things…he could easily have lost that one! I get that he has a big size advantage…but Urbina was taller and Radtke approached the striking gameplan perfectly. He also has Belal Muhammad in his corner (or at least he did vs Urbina), who I rate as a pretty intelligent fighter.
This one feel like it could develop into a very competitive fight, and the finishing ability is strong on either side. Radtke has also shown a diverse game and an ability to mix in grappling when necessary, which could serve him well here. For those reasons, I’m happy to roll the dice on yet another underdog here, and back Charles Radtke for 1u at +150 or better. I’ll be waiting a little bit to see what the initial line movement does.
How I line this fight: Charles Radtke +100 (50%), Carlos Prates +100 (50%)
Bet or pass: 1u Charles Radtke to Win (+150 or better)
Prop leans: None

~Daniel Marcos v John Castaneda~
I’m quite high on Daniel Marcos. I just think he’s a really talented striker. I bet him heavily against Aoriqileng, and were it not for the unfortunate NC, I think that would have looked like a really smart bet (not the only time that’s even happened to me this year…thanks Piera Rodriguez). People still hate on him for potentially getting a robbery over Davey Grant…but Grant is a very tricky guy to look good against at the best of times. The likes of Jonathan Martinez, Adrian Yanez, and even Marlon Vera have all struggled to decisively beat Davey.
John Castaneda is certainly the more well-rounded martial artist here, as the way he’s mixed takedowns into his game has been really intelligent. He’s also shown much more dangerousness than Marcos, landing a knockdown in four of his six UFC performances, and even scoring a submission win over Miles Johns.
For as long as this one stays standing, I think it’s a close fight that’s hard to call. Whilst I give a slight minute winning edge to Marcos for his higher level of technicality to his striking, I think Castaneda’s power can be a great equaliser, as can his ability to mix in takedowns. I’ve not seen much of Marcos’ anti-grappling to believe he can fend off a takedown threat if Castaneda wants to force things there.
So yeah, a non-committal breakdown but I think this is a close fight to call. There certainly isn’t any betting value to a fight this close anyway. I’ll pick Castaneda and give him the slight edge on the betting line for his diversity and finishing upside.
How I line this fight: John Castaneda -125 (55%), Daniel Marcos +125 (45%)
Bet or pass: Pass
Prop leans: None

~Andrea Lee v Montana De La Rosa~
It’s always tricky to navigate the fade when you see a fighter with a glaring deficiency that keeps taking losses. Andrea Lee is on a sharp downwards slope – she’s 35 years old, she cannot stop takedowns, and she’s got a 3-7 record in decisions in the UFC. Those are some pretty damning facts, but what’s worse is that Lee’s decline is really showing in her performances. I confidently bet Miranda Maverick against her at near pick’em due to her grappling superiority, but I was very surprised to see Maverick actually clearly outrstriking Lee across 15 minutes. That was a terrible look because Maverick’s striking really has never looked good. That should not have happened.
The reason I began by saying that it’s difficult fading a fighter in Lee’s position, is because there comes a time where the calibre of opponent clearly takes a downwards step. I’ve always been a big believer in Miranda Maverick, and I believe she’s top 10 in the division, so trusting her to feast on Andrea Lee’s carcass was easy. This time however, we’re being asked to trust Montana De La Rosa, a clearly inferior fighter, to do the same. Historically, Lee is certainly a cut above her, and Lee’s 30-27 victory over MDLR in 2019 demonstrated that perfectly.
Montana’s not bad bad, she’s just lacking in physicality to really be able to get her game going. She’s definitely a grappler, but a 31% takedown accuracy and poor top control means that she struggles to really find openings to do her best work...so she just kind of survives in fights if she can’t grapple you. Just looking through her UFC fights and it’s so obvious where her calibre lies…none of the girls she’s beaten apart from Ariane Lipski have been in the UFC for years, and even some of the names she’s beaten aren’t super elite either. And back when she fought Lipski, the Brazilian had some of the worst anti-grappling we’d seen in WMMA.
So this is clearly one of those fights where my predictions and probabilities for the fight weigh more on how either woman loses, as opposed to how they win. Right off the bat, that’s an awful premise to be considering a bet, so I can easily tell you this is one to avoid…and I haven’t even looked at the betting line yet.
Yep, Andrea lee sits around -130. I expected exactly that, as it’s a coin-toss as to which woman is inferior, but history is worth something and Lee does have a win over her opponent here. I guess Andrea Lee is the pick because MDLR already landed five takedowns the first time and did fuck all with them, but I have little to no confidence here. I’m sure no one is even reading this far into the breakdown because no one even cares about WMMA like I do. It’s a pass. I'll keep an eye out for Lee by Decision, assuming it's around the +200 mark.
How I line this fight: Andrea Lee -150 (60%), Montana De La Rosa +150 (40%)
Bet or pass: Pass
Prop leans: None

Bets (Bold = been placed)
1u Jared Cannonier to Win (+100 or better)
1u Jacoby v Reyes Over 1.5 Rounds (+150 or better….I could be way off the mark there)
1u Julian Marquez to Win (+100)
1u Charles Radtke to Win (+150 or better)
1u Andrea Lee to Win by Decision (+200 or better...might not get anywhere near that number, idk)

Parlay Pieces: Julian Marquez, Taylor Lapilus
Dog of the Week: Jared Cannonier
Picks: Jared Cannonier, Dustin Jacoby, Julian Marquez, Dustin Stoltzfus, Miguel Baeza, Raul Rosas Jr, Denise Gomes, Taylor Lapilus, Brad Katona, Moises/Klein, Radtke/Prates, Marcos/Castaneda, Andrea Lee

Our 11 month old yakutian laika female has moved to us from the breeder around 3 weeks ago & has settled in nicely. She’s very energetic & playful, eats & drinks normally and is 100% clean inside. We already thought her a few tricks and she’s definitely a quick learner.
She normally doesn’t pull much on leash, mostly when it’s the first walk of the day and she’s very excited or maybe even has to pee urgently.
She already knows the end of the leash & can quickly catch up when I make a sudden left/ right turn. So her awareness is already good.
However when another dog approaches even for afar she starts jumping towards it with her whole power until it’s completely out of her view field again. Nothing else interests her & even high value treats like cheese/ sausage don’t get her attention to me. (She generally doesn’t eat much and isn’t very food motivated.)
I never let her meet other dogs while we are on walks, some fools of course let their dog off leash run up to ours but that happens very seldom. We socialise her a lot otherwise as we arrange play dates with our friends dogs.
What could I try ? Any tips ? We can’t hire a trainer at least now since my fiancée lost her job suddenly due to the company going bankrupt so we got some financial recovering to do 🙈 Appreciate all the advice!

Hi all. I realize that I am yet another couch detective, but this case truly struck me, also because of Officer O’Keefe’s character and how he showed up for others, based on everything we’ve heard so far. I hope for justice for what sounds like a great human. One theory that I haven’t seen being developed is: John fell on the stairs, hit his head and then was dragged by someone who was in the house to a spot they last saw Karen’s car. This could also explain why his body was then found almost 12 feet away from the curb. Here’s the logic: 1) John did enter the house (Higgins even mentioned seeing a tall man enter the residence during one of the GJ hearings, yet he retracted this statement). 2) John was intoxicated, which most likely led to the argument in the car, but also might have made him all wobbly and having trouble navigating his surroundings. There’s also a mention that he was covered in vomit. 3) The wound he has on the back of his head might be consistent with someone slipping and hitting their head on a set of stairs. There we have a few options - a) the basement staircase (based on the blueprint of the house) seems like a tricky thing to move around, especially while drunk. There seems to be a need to avoid mentioning the basement from the CW witnesses so far and to me it is a bit strange. B) the entryway stairs also look like a possible option. 4) I’ve heard a few expert interviews where they mentioned that the wounds on his arm do not look like they came for a dog. Some mentioned that they look like “pattern” wounds that happen when someone gets dragged and thus gets their skin scraped against some rough surface. I believe this might be because he was dragged back to where Karen dropped him off, but they didn’t think it through well, making it seem like his body was pushed almost 12 feet away from the curb.
Just wanted to hear everyone’s thoughts on this or maybe other similar theories. This is just an opinion and I of course don’t have all the facts, but this is based mainly on what I’ve heard in court hearings so far.

Sobbing while typing this so please excuse any errors. My dog is reactive toward animals and people. He has attacked dogs to resource guard and toy guard. Never attacked people but is fearful toward new people.
He has been attacked unprovoked on walks a few different times and we believe he came from a feral family and still carries those tendencies.
He has been working with a trainer for the past 5 months and his aggression has seemed to increase. He has left my other dog with 10 stitches over a fight about a ball.
All this to say he is the absolute sweetest and most cuddly boy ever. He is very obedient and has learned so much in school. Unfortunately his fear reactivity just gets the best of him. I love him with my whole heart but I do not think my living situation can give him what he needs. He is about 95lbs, Great Pyrenees lab mix, and should be the only animal in the house.
Does anyone know places around here that helps rehome dogs that have challenging behaviors? I will not put him in a shelter or anything like that. I just want to find someone who would be willing to take him on or help me find a better situation for him.

u/SpacePaladin15 is responsible for the creation of the NOP universe. u/JulianSkies is responsible for the creation of a metric fuckton of fics within that universe.
this story is my ficnapping entry for... uhhhh... *checks notes* old scabbard, the allergy, gremlins, game review: escape series, river wolves and meteors. it's probably not strictly necessary to read them to enjoy this ficnap? but you should do it anyway, because they are Very Excellent™.
////////////////////////// Barkeep's Log: Reunion ////// Wednesday, July 9th, 2138 8:16 PM, Brasilia Time //////////////////////////
Ah, the middle of the week. For most bars, it is a time of quiet, of minimal activity. Some scant few people might show up; either regulars who come every day, or those who seek to unwind with a quick drink or just get out of the house for a bit, but they don't often stay long. They get one or two cups, share the bare minimum of a chat, and then get on their merry way.
...But of course, that's just the way humans do things.
The countless aliens who have taken up residence in Sao Paulo since the fall of the Federation simply don't seem to care for our silly calendar. They come in whenever they please, week or weekend, midday or midnight, rain or shine. Sometimes they want to get blackout drunk, other times they just want a quick taste of home. Or, there's always the frequent visitor who's just here to get their fill of social contact. Those ones are perhaps my favorite. After the horrors of the Federation War, and taking refuge on Skalga, I certainly won't ever tire of seeing aliens and humans—total strangers to one another—start chatting and getting along, coexisting in peace and harmony, without anyone batting an eye.
Today, though... was not the typical rush of aliens and one or two human regulars. When the bell above the door jingled and a figure stepped in from the cool outside air, consider my surprise to see not a small fluffy thing with no clothes, but a tall, lanky human man, with a face I hadn't seen in months.
"Lucas," I jovially said. "Welcome. It's good to see you again."
He smiled bashfully and raised an arm in a silent wave, seeing a dozen heads turn to look at him. One head in particular turned much farther than the rest; a gaunt human woman, accompanied by a relaxed venlil—Bella Rivers and Taya, both of whom are... perhaps my most frequent guests. "Oh damn! And here I was starting to think you died in a car accident, Luc," Bella said, clearly surprised to see another human at this hour, letalone one who'd been absent for so long.
"Haha, no..." Lucas said, making a beeline for the bar. "Just been... er, busy, you know how it is. How've things been here?"
Bella cast a brief glance at me, asking a silent question, to which I gave a simple nod. "It's been great," she answered in my stead. "Every day feels like more people know about this place. I keep telling Keeps to start thinking about remodeling, get some more space in here before it starts turning into a moshpit every weekend."
Lucas let out a chuckle. "I almost can't believe you two come here so often that you can say that."
Taya leaned around Bella just enough to look Lucas in the eye. "Well no duh! Where else are we gonna go? Name one pub in this city besides The Crossroad that's licensed to sell alien food and drink, and always cares about dietary restrictions!"
Bella laughed. "Okay girl, you ain't gotta shill that hard."
"Nuh uh. I'm not drunk enough not to shill," the normally-reserved venlil droned. She most certainly was a little drunk...
"Speaking of," I cut in, turning to Lucas. "The usual?"
His eyebrows shot up in surprise. "You still remember my drink?"
"Of course."
He looked thoughtful for a moment, before smiling. "Yeah. I'd love that."
I wasted no time in gathering my tools and the requisite bottles and ingredients to put together his complicated order. To say I pride myself on remembering my patrons, their quirks, and their likes and dislikes... would be an understatement. What is a barkeep if not the central pillar of the establishment? It simply wouldn't do for me to be anything less than reliable.
"For real though," Bella said. "It's not just the food that keeps us here. Like yeah, I love being able to trust my food, but there's more to it. Just look around," she waved a hand out at the rest of the room, "Isn't it great, seeing so many different people, from so many different walks of life, all come together in one place? Back during the war, I... we never imagined we'd get to see something like this. And yet here we are, back on Earth, with God knows how many aliens just hangin' around, being chill, doing their things."
"Huh... yeah, I guess I can see it-- ah, thanks Keeps," Lucas said as I passed him his completed drink. "If you forget everything that's happened, it kinda does look like how everyone dreamed things would go before first contact."
Bella smiled wistfully, idly swirling her half-full drink with her straw. "I think it's amazing. All these different cultures and faces mashing together at once, just this giant melting pot of people and worldviews and everything."
"...Yeah. It really is incredible."
Bella's brows furrowed as Lucas wasted no time in taking a large swig of his drink. It seemed as if something was on his mind, and perhaps she could tell. "Hey... where have you been, these past few months?"
"I've... well," he put down his glass, staring at it almost disdainfully. And after I'd made it so perfectly for him, to boot. Rude. "I've actually been trying to uh, cut back on the drinking..."
Bella turned, glancing confusedly at Taya, who flicked her tail in equal uncertainty. "Really? But you've always been such a responsible drinker. I don't think I can even remember a single time you've ever caused trouble, or got sick or anything. Did something happen?"
"No, nothing like that. I just wanted... well, here, look at this," he said and produced his holopad, skillfully swiping to his photo album. In seconds, he pulled up a picture of himself alongside an alien with gray fur... and long, floppy, dog-like ears. A farsul. "This is Talon. He's been staying with me since the xenomed center got going full swing."
Taya recoiled at the sight, ears flattening in apparent anger before Bella turned and shot her a firm glare. The venlil immediately shrunk on herself, looking both apologetic, and yet still agitated.
"I'm doing it for him. He... um, let's just say he gets a little nervous," Lucas mumbled. He swiped to another picture, this time with Talon hanging off his arm like a monkey, tongue lolling out of his wide-open muzzle in obvious glee. "He's such a sweet little guy, like the brother I never had. But it wasn't good for him, to be dealing with me coming home drunk. He needs stability, consistency. I... was making him worry whether I'll be the same every time I walk through the door. So I promised him I'd stop."
Bella put a hand on Lucas' shoulder. "Well that's sweet of you. I can tell you care a lot."
Lucas frowned. "Of course I care. After the shit he got put through in those... fucking goddamn facilities."
A bubble of silence surrounded the trio as his words sunk in. Bella swirled her drink one last time before she took a huge swig. Lucas watched her for a moment before he grabbed his own near-full glass and downed the whole of it in one fell swoop.
"Hhh. So much for that," he grumbled as he glared down at his freshly emptied cup. Then his expression softened slightly, turning closer to remorse. "...Sorry. I didn't mean to fuck up the vibe. I uh, got some other pics of him if--"
"No, Lucas, it's okay," Taya suddenly said. "There's nothing wrong with being honest. Especially not in a place like this," she pointed one eye toward me, "ain't that right, Keeps?"
All I could offer in response was a curt nod.
Bella reached over and laid a hand on his shoulder. "If something's on your mind, then... c'mon, be straight with us."
Lucas sighed. "I wish there were more I could do for him," he bluntly said. "We've tried so many things to help him stay calm. Breathing exercises, fidget toys, music... but it's never enough. He still just can't function in public, or around new people, or... anywhere. Especially if I'm not there. And I don't know what to do anymore. I keep telling him to take as long as he needs, but I..." Lucas slouched over, holding his head in his hands, "I feel like every time takes a little longer."
"Um... Y'know..." Taya spoke up, as her ears twisted nervously. "It... sounds like, maybe, um... he... needs a friend?"
"I am his friend," Lucas deadpanned.
"N-no, I mean... oorgh, how do I say this?"
"I think what she's trying to say is... if you want a little help, Lucas, we'd be happy to be there for you. For him."
Lucas's brows furrowed for a moment before he seemed to grasp what she was saying, and his eyes went wide. "Really? But-" his eyes locked onto Taya, "but you're--"
Taya shook her head. "Don't say it. I... I know. I know what I am," she all but whispered. "But maybe I don't want to be like... this. Maybe I want to be better. After all, if I'd never tried to have an open mind about humans, I never would've met Bella!"
"Well... okay," Lucas said, as a small smile grew on his face. "Here. Lemme get your numbers, and I'll talk to him, and we'll get in touch?"
Bella nodded and presented her pad, as Taya did the same. "Yep! And hey, if he isn't up to meeting in person, maybe you can see if he wants to try just being... like, pen pals or something?"
"Hah. He's not a child, you know. But thanks. I really mean it."
"I know you mean it. We're glad to help."
The three of them tapped pads to exchange contacts, and with that, their fates became intertwined. Whatever may happen to them after today, I cannot know. A humble barkeeper such myself shan't be blessed with the absolutes of the future. Some may try to predict what is to come, but I believe the future is theirs to decide, that they may take whatever happens in their own hands and mold it to their will.
It is all I can hope that Bella and Taya will return and share with me the stories of their antics. Or, as unlikely as it seems, perhaps Lucas could bring Talon here, for them both to participate in this gathering of souls; for them to find joy among friends new and old; for the chance to walk the wondrous crossroads of life and love.
​
////////////////////////// Barkeep's Log: Scampering Menaces ////// Monday, July 14th, 2138 1:39 PM, Brasilia Time //////////////////////////
Monday. The day of loathing. Of rest and relaxation coming to an end. Of waking up early, getting ready for work, and repeating yet another week of monotony. Some would question my sanity, to open the bar at all on a Monday, letalone to do so at noon. But those foolish few simply haven't seen how excited aliens can be about something so mundane as lunch.
But alas, the lunch rush never persists forever, and just like always, I eventually found my beloved pub woefully empty. As it would likely stay for the rest of the afternoon, save for the occasional visitor with a more unusual schedule.
...Or, perhaps, should I be so lucky... a much more rare sight; a true oddity, who might seek to come here only during the dead hours.
And wouldn't you know, it was on this day that I was blessed with one such patron. Or... multiple patrons. A human and a trio... no, quartet of dossur. It was very much a challenge for me to keep track of the little sapient rodents as they skittered about, both on and literally around their human, but I was more than certain that there were definitely only four of them.
At first, I thought there were three dossur. But then one of them retreated into their human's apparently rather spacious hoodie, and a very distinctly different dossur came out. She looked... mangy, for lack of a polite term, with numerous patches of discolored and uneven fur, and what appeared to be a few healed scars. It was clear to me that she must have been through something horrible, and yet had been saved by the miracle of modern medicine.
The small group's incursion upon my shop was... relatively peaceful. They certainly had no qualms about using their outdoor voices, speaking loudly and freely about whatever came to mind, from plans for when they got home, to theorycrafting about potential vacations they could take, and even to the status of the Sapient Coalition as a whole. I, of course, had no right to begrudge them for being so noisy—they were the only ones in the bar, after all.
But everything changed when the front door swung open, the gentle dingle of the bell heralding the arrival of yet another rare antisocial patron.
To my surprise, this newcomer was another human. But not just any human, oh no, this was a very particular human. One who I could say might be somewhat of a regular, despite his tendency to avoid the busier hours. It was no trouble for me to recognize him from the slightest glance, as his unforgettable silver hair, and the red highlights within, matched gorgeously with his red scarf.
As he entered, a somewhat shorter than average venlil trailed close behind. He too wore a red scarf, though for a... different reason. A deeply personal reason, that neither he nor his human have ever seemed keen to share. And I, out of respect for them both, shan't pry.
With a brief, wary glance at the table of chaos, the two of them made their way toward the bar. They hardly made it more than a few steps before a painfully loud shriek, followed by three more of the same, damn near shattered every piece of glass in my bar.
"HUMY!!!!!" "OH MY GOD HI!!" "JOHN! LOOK!!" "Don't yell in my ear--" "Wait is it really-- IT IS! GUYS GET OUT HERE--"
And in a staggering instant... where I thought there were only four dossur, I was once again proven thoroughly WRONG. From within John's hoodie came not one, not two, but four more of the little bastards! There were eight of them! They all scampered up their poor handler's arms and stood on his head and shoulders, waving their whole bodies and jumping up and down, and being so very loud.
"HI HUMY!!!!!!!!" "HI!!!" "HIIIIII!!!!!!" "He's so tall..." "Is that VV?? HI VV!!" "WOW I didn't know his hair was really that white!"
Humy, while certainly shocked by the sudden attention, somehow managed to take it in stride. He raised a hand and waved back to the crowd of not-squirrels, the action shutting them up for only a moment before they started squealing even LOUDER in sheer excitement.
"Guys... Y'all oughta quiet down a bit," John said... or so I think. I frankly couldn't hear him over the orchestra of rodent insanity.
One particularly bold dossur—the one with the damaged fur—made her way down from the chaos table and practically sprinted to Humy's legs, before climbing him like a tree. He recoiled in surprise, but she kept going until she was leaning off the top of his head, staring straight into his eyes. The others went silent, waiting with bated breath for whatever might happen next.
...
"Hi."
The poor man, frazzled, startled, accosted-by-an-alien-squirrel, took a long moment before he figured out what to do about this situation. "Um. Hi."
Unfortunately, that was the wrong response.
"HE SAID HI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" "I WANNA SAY HI TO HUMY!!" "THAT'S NOT FAIR, HOW COME SHE GETS--" "JOHN!!!" "Guys, pl--" "--TO SAY HI TO HIM?!?!!?!" "JOHN BRING US TO HIM OR DIE"
John abruptly slapped the table and stood up, nearly flinging half of his passengers in different directions as they panicked and clung to him for dear life. "I'm so sorry," he quickly said, "They're not usually like this. We'll just be going," he turned to me, making eye contact for an instant, "Cya later, Keeps."
"No, wait!" Humy said, just barely before the swarm could scream their collective dissent. "Please don't. I don't mind, I promise. All I ask is you quieten down a notch, is that okay?"
The dossur looked amongst each other; some of them drooped in shame, while others seemed to simply not grasp the relevance of the request. But in the end, it was John who spoke up first. "He's right, guys. Y'all need to tone it down. No more screaming."
"Okay?" "Sorry..." "Makes sense." "SURE!!--"
John immediately snatched up that particular troublemaker before stuffing him in his hoodie, never to be seen again.
"Ah... anyway..." Humy said, and gestured to the counter, where VV had already taken a seat during the commotion. John took the unspoken invitation, and the middle-aged man reunited with his friend as the dossur wrangler sat on his other side.
The swarm, of course, wasted no time in dismounting John and lining up right in front of poor Humy. Or, well, only two of them lined up. One crawled up onto his sleeve, two onto his shoulders, and the last simply kept climbing around, seemingly not intent on stopping ever. The seventh and eighth remained imprisoned in John's pocket and sprawled out atop Humy's head, respectively.
"Is Humy your real name?" "Why's your hair white?" "Your scarves are so cool!" "What's your favorite fruit?"
Humy burst out in a fit of chuckles, evidently amused by the dossur speaking over each other in their haste to treat him like a talking jungle gym. "Wow. John, right?" he turned to the other human, who gave a curt nod. "How do you live with this?"
"Very patiently," John deadpanned. "No one would ever believe me if I told them these little shits are highly trained Marines."
"Have you ever been on a cruise?" "What's your favorite game?" "If I gave you a strawberry, would you eat it?" "Are you two dating?" "Seriously, why's your hair white!?"
"Okay, okay, c'mon, one at a time! Why don't all of you line up right here in front of me, and I'll go down the line?"
"No." "...Nah." "It's comfy up here." "And it's boring down there!" "And your hair smells good..."
Humy sighed and shook his head, but his smile betrayed his mirth at the situation. "Fine... let's see... you, at the very top. What's your question?"
"Huh? Oh, uhhh-" the mangled one trailed off. She'd been rather quiet the whole time. "Hmm... what's your next video gonna be, and when's it gonna be out?"
"Ooh!" "Yeah!" "Yes yes yes tell us!" "Genius question, Fée!"
Humy, despite the dossurs' excitement, grimaced. "I'm sorry, you guys, but I can't answer that. I just can't leak upcoming content!"
"Auugh!" "Noo c'mon!" "What." "That's not fair!"
"But..." Humy cut them off, looking thoughtful. "Well... maybe I can tell you one thing. I might have something very, very special lined up soon. Do you all remember when I played that thafki game, Survivor? Well I--"
Humy jumped, startled as VV—who'd been totally quiet and unobtrusive the whole time—abruptly grabbed his sleeve and tugged it sharply. A sheepish expression spread across the human's face. "Oops! Can't spoil the surprise. Sorry! How 'bout we hear another question?"
The dossur pouted, looking dejected, disappointed and all-around displeased. But, with that, the seven tiny herbivores quickly moved on, and continued to pester Humy with evermore nonsense. Too much nonsense. Truly, veritably, too much.
It wasn't until hours later, around 4 PM, that both parties finally grew fatigued and split ways. In the wake of their madness, I could feel nothing but gratitude for the fact that, despite their behavior, the rodents hadn't made a mess of anything, nor skipped out on their tab. While they were loud, and excitable, and far too much enjoyed using poor Humy as a playground... they weren't hooligans. They were, in the end, people. Not just noisy squirrels.
With that in mind... perhaps, maybe, just maybe, next time they come in... I wouldn't be unwilling to greet them, to welcome them to this place of character and merriment; to welcome their uniqueness among the myriad faces that make themselves known; to invite them in as members, as friends, as we all tread upon the ever-exciting crossroads of greetings and farewells.
​
////////////////////////// Barkeep's Log: Mayflies ////// Friday, August 1st, 2138 9:05 PM, Brasilia Time //////////////////////////
Ah, the weekend. For a bar, it is the busiest time one could imagine. But for a bartender such as myself, it is so much more. The activity, the bustle, the countless different people coming together and simply being themselves. Just by merely being here, serving drinks and dinner to all who would want it, I am blessed with the wondrous opportunity to overhear talk and tales of peoples' lives—their homes, their hopes and dreams, their fears and regrets.
And today, of course, was no exception. Perchance, allow me to skip the lengthy preamble and get to the good stuff.
The moment an elderly, borderline decrepit old man entered the bar, he had my attention. Someone his age, coming somewhere like this, alone? The scenario piqued my curiosity.
He had a tired air to him, something between boredom, the general fatigue that comes with such advanced age and... if my keen eyes didn't deceive me, a touch of discomfort. As if he was out of his element in some way, not quite sure what to do with himself. He kept silent, bothering no one as he approached the counter and scanned one of the many QR codes plastered around the dining room.
His face stayed the same as he reviewed The Crossroads' prodigious menu, as though he was unimpressed with our unrivaled selection. But then, he paused, and something changed in his stance. His eyes flicked up and met mine, his expression suddenly lit ablaze, full of energy that wasn't there before. "Redtato tacos?" he curtly asked, sounding almost bewildered. His gaze dropped back down to the menu, to the other dishes on that same page. "Spice plates... cricket burgers," he looks back up at me, wearing a deranged grin, "even goddamn ichor ice cream? You're insane."
"Insane? Tell me you're new here without telling me," a new voice interjected. One of the other patrons—a thafki, who unlike her kin, had taken to wearing a black hoodie with the emblem of the United Nations—turned to us, appearing amused as she looked between me and the old man. "Wow, you're a perfect match for one another. Didn't think humans could get any older than ol' Barkeep here. What's someone as ancient as you doing here, new guy?"
"Hah. I like you, Blue," the man said as he took a seat beside the nosy and maybe slightly drunk alien.
"My name's not Blue. Call me Ayeli."
He held out a hand toward Ayeli. She glanced at it before shaking it without a second thought. "Ryusei," he said, before eyeing her beverage. "Tell you what, Barkeep, gimme one of whatever that is. And a refill for her, if she'll have it."
"Saltwine," I said, and reached beneath the counter to procure the bottle from which I'd poured Ayeli's first glass. I turned it back and forth in front of him, letting him read the translated label. "Be warned. This is a specialty item. It is not to most peoples' tastes, nor is it cheap."
"Pfft just do it. I've eaten rocks, you old coot."
The sheer brazenness of his words, the unwavering resolve in his eyes, and the utter lack of hesitation in his voice, took me truly off guard for the first time in a long, long while. "I'm not an old coot, you bumbling codger," I grumbled as I took a glass and filled it. Then, putting my professional facade back on just like nothing ever happened, I turned to Ayeli and hovered the bottle over her cup. She gave a thumbs up, and I poured.
Ryusei stared at me with a smug grin. "Pff. Looked in a mirror lately? Time ain't been good to you, friend. Look at all them gray hairs. Yeek."
"I can poison you in seventeen different ways," I deadpanned.
"As if I'd even be able to tell? There's nothing you can do to me that my body hasn't done at least twice already."
"Venlise alcohol. Not diluted."
"Now there'd be a challenge..." he murmured, before his attention drifted to his idle drink. He raised the glass to his lips and took a hearty sip, allowing the fluid—its texture, its flavor—to rest in his mouth before swallowing. "Mmh. Damn."
"You like it?" Ayeli asked.
"Y'know what? Yeah. Shit's weird in all the right ways. Hits your tongue like a pile of salt, but goes down smooth. No aftertaste, no burn, just a quick slap in the face and then it's gone."
Ayeli drummed her fingers on the counter before taking a long swig of her own drink. "Mmmhmm. That's how it is. How it's meant to be. I can't wait 'til someone figures out how to make this stuff for cheap."
"Speaking of. Ey Barkeep, put me down for one of them fucked up tacos. Let's see just how close a buncha earthlings can get to authentic Martian cuisine."
With a nod and several practiced movements, I had his request sent to the kitchen in seconds. I don't believe he saw me even touch the order pad with how fast I was.
"...Martian?" Ayeli asked. "Now hang on. That's... the red planet, no?"
"Mhm," The man let out a grunt of affirmation. "First planet humanity settled besides Earth. It's a dead, empty husk. Nothing but rocks and dust and solar radiation. I was born there."
"Huh. What're you doing here, then? There no bars on Mars?"
"...Classified."
"Oh. Yeah..."
Quiet spread between the two, Ayeli staring blankly into her own reflection within her glass. Ryusei's eyes slowly drifted toward her as his brow furrowed. "You... were a soldier, huh?"
Ayeli jolted, startled by the question. "Wh--? How... I mean, yeah. I guess I was. But how can you tell?"
"Eh. I've been there. Where you are now."
"...What?"
He took another sip. "You know how it is. Everything goes to shit. Then it gets better. Now everyone's pretending life is back to normal, and you have to pretend too. Even if you lost friends. Or family. Or... parts of yourself."
...
Ayeli frowned. "I... yeah. I guess."
"You guess?"
"It's... it's not that I've lost people. Or parts of myself," she said. "It's not even that I have to pretend that everything's back to normal."
Ryusei raised an eyebrow.
"All things considered, I've lost nothing. I joined the UN Marines, killed some lizards, and now I'm here. And I'm fine. Not even 'oh you're lying to yourself, you need a therapist' fine, but just... actually fine."
"Why's that, do you think?"
"I don't know. All my friends are so much worse off than me. They're all... fucked up, from everything. But I'm not. I just don't feel anything."
"I just... shouldn't I feel something?" she continued. "I've killed people. Drowned people. Slit throats. But whenever I think about it, there's just nothing. No guilt, no shame, no... no empathy."
"I understand," Ryusei breathed. Something behind his eyes changed, his tone becoming more... genuine. "You and I are alike, in a way."
"...Really?"
Ryusei swirled his drink before taking a quick sip. "When I was younger, I was part of something bigger than myself. It was dangerous as all hell—sixty percent fatality rate—but I was glad to be doing it. Glad to be playing my part. Happy to risk my life so someone else doesn't have to. But then it was over, and I got back to life like normal. I got my accolades, I took my damn awards, and I went home. And that was that."
"Except it wasn't," he continued. "I went home, and found out my family had ripped themselves apart. Half of em were obviously over the moons with pride, knowing I'd been there in the very front and came home a goddamn hero. But the rest... they had been scared. Terrified they'd never see me again. It was all they wanted for me to just come home and be safe."
"And... that's what got you?" Ayeli asked. Something in her voice was vulnerable, almost afraid. "The fact that you were ready to move on, but no one else was?"
Ryusei nodded. "I felt like a shithead not because I'd almost died a hundred times, but because I'd been the reason my parents got divorced."
Ayeli stared into nothing, dead silent for a long moment before she grabbed her drink and downed the remainder of it in one go. "F-fuck," she rasped. "It was supposed to go back to normal. We were supposed to have our happy ending. So why is everyone still like this? Why can't we just be okay now?"
"Because people need time, kid. You and I are the exceptions. You'll get your happy ending, you just... gotta wait. Gotta be there for them when they need you."
"How?"
"Whatever way you can. My little brother got hit the hardest by our parents' shitshow. He couldn't stand being around either of them. So I would drive him out to the middle of nowhere, and we'd just watch the universe go by. We'd count the stars, talk about how small we are, how it just keeps going, how empty it all is, yet still teeming with mystery. By the end of it, we'd both be feeling better... and then we'd do it again a week later when we felt like shit again. And on and on, for years."
"...We've already seen the stars though. How would that help?"
Ryusei slid his glass over to Ayeli, offering her the last few sips he had. "There are more things of beauty in this world than just the stars. Take it from me, old fart that I am—if you just take the time to look, you can find meaning anywhere. Even things you might take for granted."
Ayeli perked up, as if she'd realized something. "The ocean..."
"Something like that."
"It's... it's simple, it's mundane, it's so normal to us now that we can just go swimming whenever we like. But ten years ago, that would've been different. We... we did it. We changed it. For ourselves. We won."
"You hit the nail on the head, Blue. Tell all that to your pals. Really show them that it's over."
She looked down at the drink she'd been given, and lifted it to her lips to take a small sip. "An ocean of water, an ocean of stars... what difference does it make? Maybe you're right. Maybe we really are alike."
"Both have been around for millenia. And both will be there still, long after we're gone," Ryusei said. He looked down at his hands, an odd half-smile on his face. "Call me a sentimental old coot, but part of me still finds comfort in the stars. An infinite sea of beacons, shining in every direction for eternity. Always there, always waiting, no matter what."
"Mmm... y'know, it's funny. Our ancient ancestors probably each thought the same at one point or another. Wonder if any of 'em ever looked up in just the right place, at the right time... and looked straight at each other, even if they didn't know it."
"Heh. As much as I want to rain on your parade and say that's impossible... well, just look at the two of us, eh? The chance that we both would happen to be here, right now. Maybe it's not. The universe is pretty damn huge, and yet here we are."
Ayeli sat up straight in her seat, a determined look spreading across her face. "Yeah. I... I think I know what to do. How to help everyone else move on. Thanks for the drinks, 'Keep. And the chat, Ryusei."
"Yeah yeah. Go on, get outta here. Get back to your friends."
The thafki nodded and gave us both a smile, and then with one last wave goodbye, she made her way out of the establishment. Ryusei sighed and turned back to the bar, crossing his arms and slouching in that tired, past-our-prime way we both must know so well.
Before long, his plate of redtato tacos were brought out, and without another word, he got to work. He remained silent as he ate, but I could tell by the look on his face that he was satisfied.
"Alright... yeah, yeah you did good..." he said when there was nothing left to eat. "I'll remember this place. Think if I ever end up 'round here again, I might stop by."
"You'll always be welcome... until you call me old again. Then you might find something different in your cup than you ordered."
He laughed, grinning like a madman as he stood from his seat. "Bold of you to threaten me with a good time. Now I'm definitely coming back!"
With that, he paid for his meal and his and Ayeli's drinks, and just as suddenly as it all began, he was gone. The cycle of greetings and goodbyes played its part yet again, bringing us together and pulling us apart as if no time had passed at all.
But where his and Ayeli's presence left my bar, their imprints have not. In my memory, and theirs, lies the everlasting essence of our encounter. The feelings of meeting, of learning, of sharing ourselves—and above all else, the words they spoke. The sentiment has truly been burned into my recollection, never to be forgotten with how it touched my heart, my very soul.
How wondrous it is that two people so similar and yet so different could ever meet. The universe is vast—immeasurably so—and still they both happened to be in the right place at the right time for their lives to become intertwined. Is it coincidence? Is it fate? I can't possibly know. Such things are beyond my station. All I can say for certain is that it will happen again, and again, on an eternal cycle. So long as life itself persists, people will always be bound to find one another.
And that, I believe... is the true beauty of our crossroads of destiny.
//////////////////////////

My top 128 favorite fictional characters as of 2024. This is a list I’ve been updating for like 2 years.

1. Jesse (Breaking Bad)
2. Joker (Gotham)
3. Bill Cipher (Gravity Falls)
4. Lalo (BCS)
5. Penguin (Gotham)
6. Donnie (RoTTMNT)
7. Sheldon (Big Bang Theory)
8. Saul Goodman (BCS/Breaking Bad)
9. Hawk (Cobra Kai)
10. Jax (TADC)
11. Death (Puss in Boots: The Last Wish)
12. Escanor (SDS)
13. Todd (Breaking Bad)
14. Lip (Shameless, but only seasons 1-6)
15. Wednesday (Wednesday)
16. Georgie (Young Sheldon)
17. Revy (Black Lagoon)
18. Yuta (JJK)
19. Daniel (Karate Kid)
20. Carl (Shameless)
21. Chris McLean (TDI)
22. Denji (CSM)
23. Metal Bat (OPM)
24. Jack Horner (Puss in Boots: The Last Wish)
25. Luffy (One Piece)
26. Kenjaku (JJK)
27. Kirito (SAO Abridged)
28. Batman (The Lego Batman Movie)
29. Reigen (Mob Psycho 100)
30. Silver (Karate Kid)
31. Mike (BCS/Breaking Bad)
32. Maki (JJK)
33. Stanley Pines (Gravity Falls)
34. Marceline (Adventure Time)
35. Makima (CSM)
36. Nacho (BCS)
37. Raegan (Inside Job)
38. Gus Fring (Breaking Bad)
39. Edd (Good Burger)
40. Roberta (Black Lagoon)
41. Todo (JJK)
42. Pitou (Hunter x Hunter)
43. Balalika (Black Lagoon)
44. Saitama (OPM)
45. Eric Cartman (South Park)
46. John Wick (John Wick)
47. Shigaraki (MHA)
48. Toji (JJK)
49. Mahito (JJK)
50. Madara (Naruto)
51. Najimi (Komi Can’t Communicate)
52. Tai Lung (Kung Fu Panda)
53. Doomslayer (Doom)
54. Sabo (One Piece)
55. Light (Death Note)
56. Angel Dust (Hazbin Hotel)
57. Blackbeard (One Piece)
58. Zoro (One Piece)
59. Slade (Teen Titans)
60. Ace (One Piece)
61. Metro Man (Megamind)
62. Killua (Hunter x Hunter)
63. Mickey (Shameless)
64. Darkness Devil (CSM)
65. Tuco (Breaking Bad)
66. Joker (TDK)
67. Jesus Christ (The Bible)
68. Alastor (Hazbin Hotel)
69. Batman (The Batman 2004)
70. David (Edgerunners)
71. Ben 10 (Ben 10)
72. Estarossa (SDS)
73. Law (One Piece)
74. Mikey (TMNT 2012)
75. Doflamingo (One Piece)
76. Meruem (Hunter x Hunter)
77. Spinel (Steven Universe)
78. Sukuna (JJK)
79. Overhaul (MHA)
80. Kuma (One Piece)
81. Rebecca (Edgerunners)
82. Adam (Hazbin Hotel)
83. Chang (Black Lagoon)
84. Gyutaro (Demon Slayer)
85. Henry Emily (FNaF)
86. Katakuri (One Piece)
87. Lemon (Bullet Train)
88. Peter Griffin (Family Guy)
89. Rengoku (Demon Slayer)
90. Daffy Duck (Loony Tunes)
91. Perona (One Piece)
92. Franky (One Piece)
93. Dr. Livesey (Treasure Island)
94. Buu (DBZ)
95. Rosie (Hazbin Hotel)
96. Mikey (Tokyo Revengers)
97. Scrooge McDuck (Duck Tales)
98. Popeye (Popeye the Sailor Man)
99. Doma (Demon Slayer)
100. Springtrap/William Afton (FNaF)
101. Reverse Flash (DC)
102. Toffee (SvTFoE)
103. Dimitri (Cobra Kai)
104. Re-Destro (MHA)
105. Crona (Soul Eater)
106. Cosmo (FOP)
107. Magneto (Xmen 97’)
108. Nezuko (Demon Slayer)
109. Kev (Shameless)
110. Kratos (God of War)
111. Rick Sanchez (Rick & Morty)
112. Zestial (Hazbin Hotel)
113. Mr. Sellers (Oddballs)
114. Buggy (OPLA)
115. Whis (DBS)
116. Doofus Jerry (Rick & Morty)
117. Bugs Bunny (Loony Tunes)
118. Rand (Inside Job)
119. Shaggy (Scooby-Do)
120. Courage (Courage the Cowardly Dog)
121. Sir Pentious (Hazbin Hotel)
122. Muichiro (Demon Slayer)
123. Lucifer (Hazbin Hotel)
124. Vegeta (DBZ)
125. Dr. Doofenshmirtz (Phineas & Ferb)
126. Tamatoa (Moana)
127. Senator Armstrong (Metal Gear Rising)
128. Frieza (DBZ)

I had a little fun doing this last year, so let's run with it again... at least for the Regionals.
College Baseball Regionals:
Sixteen teams got told to pack their shit and go home yesterday. These are their mostly abbreviated stories:
-Northern Kentucky: #1 national seed Tennessee plus a pissed off Southern Miss = Buh-bye. -Wake Forest: Minor upset by VCU and loss to host East Carolina? You're done. -Oral Roberts: Oklahoma made you swallow. Duke wasn't as rough. You're still out. -LOLBAMA: UCF is your daddy. Stetson is your other daddy. Kindly fuck off now. -Louisiana Tech: Smashed by K-State, then casually dumped by SEMO. Buh-bye. -Penn: Honorable losses to host Virginia and St. John's, but the result is the same. Elimination. -ROFLOLZONA: Host gets not just beat, but beat like JR's government mule by Grand Fucking Canyon and Dallas Fucking Baptist? GET THE FUCK OUT, go enjoy your new home in whichever conference you are fleeing to. I'm too disgusted to even care. -Long Island: Host UNC had their way with you. Wofford just gave you the merciful double tap. Season over. -Western Michigan: Another pair of honorable losses to Kentucky and Indiana State. Another team no longer playing in the 2024 season. -Nicholls State: Fuck this, they get their own entry below. And not just because they're my actual "home town team". -Bryant: Both N.C. State and James Madison beat you to death. 2024 season: in the grave. -Army: Sherman shakes his head in disgust, beaten twice by Georgia (Actual once, Tech once). Just hope this matchup isn't repeated in a few months... -LOLVANDY: Coastal Carolina's not bad, but getting blown out is. And losing to FUCKING HIGH POINT? NO. BAD VANDY. Enjoy another year of suffering in every other sport. -Niagara: Falls to Oklahoma (about as hard an impact as a trip over the waterfall in your birthday suit) and Nebraska (Just high dive impact levels) send you back home. Next time, bring a barrel. -Fresno State: Their home state ends their season, losses to UC Santa Barbara and San Diego means they don't get to play any more. This dog's been put to sleep. -Grambling: South Park's Token got more respect than this HBU, beaten down by Texas and Louisiana(-Lafayette). Oh well, at least you don't have Deion Sanders' shit all over your campus.
*-Nicholls State: Came into the tournament with a 0-8 career record in baseball regionals. Opened against UC Irvine. Trailed 9-1 after a six-run fourth by the Anteaters. Somehow managed to claw back to 10-5 (5th), 11-8 (7th), 11-9 (8th), and took a 12-11 lead in the 9th on a three-run home run. And then a BRUTAL bottom of the ninth followed: -Fly Out (1 out) -Single (1 out, 1st) -Fielders Choice 2nd (2 out, 1st) -Walk (2 out, 1st + 2nd) -E-5 (2 out, bases loaded) -Walk-off Single (2 RBI)
UC Irvine win 13-12. Game 2 was just a sad trudge to the chair, losing 3-0 to Tulane on an RBI groundout (2nd), RBI single (5th), and RBI single (9th), and mercifully ended on a home run robbing catch by the right fielder.

Hello dear reddit. My parents got a dog that is really anxious when it comes to meeting new people and especially new dogs. They have been good at training her and I have helped whenever I visit, but it seems that we have gotten a bit stuck. At the moment the biggest issue is that the dog (border collie) loses all control when she sees a stranger dog. She barks, lunges and it's hard to get her under control again. I am going to visit for a few months now, and I want to fix this issue once and for all, so that walks can become enjoyable and not filled with anxiety and fear of meeting other dogs. I am asking for any tips. Do you have books for me to read? Any videos I could watch or articles to look through? I want our dog to feel safe when we take walks, and not feele like every stranger is a threat. We tried a personal trainer, and they helped us alot until they couldn't anymore. Dog trainers are not easy to come by where we are. I hope you can help a fellow dog owner out!

Does anybody know of any good dog trainers around the Limerick/Clare area?
We have an anxious Swiss Shepherd and are looking for training for her.
Thanks in advance!

Superior Achievement in a Novel

Due, Tananarive – The Reformatory (Simon & SchusteSaga Press/Titan)

Superior Achievement in Long Fiction

Jiang, Ai – Linghun (Dark Matter INK)

Superior Achievement in a Fiction Collection

Files, Gemma – Blood from the Air (Grimscribe Press)

Superior Achievement in an Anthology

Peele, Jordan, and Adams, John Joseph – Out There Screaming (Random House)

Superior Achievement in Short Fiction

O’Quinn, Cindy – “Quondam” (The Nightmare Never Ends, Exploding Head Fiction)

Superior Achievement in a Screenplay

Yamazaki, Takashi – Godzilla Minus One (Robot Communications, Toho Studios)

Superior Achievement in a First Novel

Carmen, Christa – The Daughters of Block Island (Thomas & Mercer)

Superior Achievement in a Middle Grade Novel

Senf, Lora – The Nighthouse Keeper (Atheneum Books for Young Readers)

Superior Achievement in a Young Adult Novel

Tran, Trang Thanh – She Is a Haunting (Bloomsbury YA)

Superior Achievement in Long Non–Fiction

Hartmann, Sadie – 101 Horror Books to Read Before You’re Murdered (Page Street Publishing)

Superior Achievement in a Poetry Collection

Wytovich, Stephanie M. – On the Subject of Blackberries (Raw Dog Screaming Press)

Superior Achievement in a Graphic Novel

Chu, Amy (author) and Lee, Soo (artist) – Carmilla: The First Vampire (Dark Horse)

Superior Achievement in Short Non–Fiction

Bulkin, Nada - “Becoming Ungovernable: Latah, Amok, and Disorder in Indonesia” (Unquiet Spirits: Essays by Asian Women in Horror, Black Spot Books)

HWA’s Lifetime Achievement Award

Mort Castle, Steve Rasnic Tem, and Cassandra Peterson

Richard Laymon President's Award

Meghan Arcuri

Specialty Press Award

Thunderstorm Books, Paul Goblirsch

The Karen Lansdale Silver Hammer Award

Lila Denning

HWA Mentor of the Year

L. Marie Wood

Superior Achievement in a Novel

Due, Tananarive – The Reformatory (Simon & SchusteSaga Press/Titan)

Superior Achievement in Long Fiction

Jiang, Ai – Linghun (Dark Matter INK)

Superior Achievement in a Fiction Collection

Files, Gemma – Blood from the Air (Grimscribe Press)

Superior Achievement in an Anthology

Peele, Jordan, and Adams, John Joseph – Out There Screaming (Random House)

Superior Achievement in Short Fiction

O’Quinn, Cindy – “Quondam” (The Nightmare Never Ends, Exploding Head Fiction)

Superior Achievement in a Screenplay

Yamazaki, Takashi – Godzilla Minus One (Robot Communications, Toho Studios)

Superior Achievement in a First Novel

Carmen, Christa – The Daughters of Block Island (Thomas & Mercer)

Superior Achievement in a Middle Grade Novel

Senf, Lora – The Nighthouse Keeper (Atheneum Books for Young Readers)

Superior Achievement in a Young Adult Novel

Tran, Trang Thanh – She Is a Haunting (Bloomsbury YA)

Superior Achievement in Long Non–Fiction

Hartmann, Sadie – 101 Horror Books to Read Before You’re Murdered (Page Street Publishing)

Superior Achievement in a Poetry Collection

Wytovich, Stephanie M. – On the Subject of Blackberries (Raw Dog Screaming Press)

Superior Achievement in a Graphic Novel

Chu, Amy (author) and Lee, Soo (artist) – Carmilla: The First Vampire (Dark Horse)

Superior Achievement in Short Non–Fiction

Bulkin, Nada - “Becoming Ungovernable: Latah, Amok, and Disorder in Indonesia” (Unquiet Spirits: Essays by Asian Women in Horror, Black Spot Books)

HWA’s Lifetime Achievement Award

Mort Castle, Steve Rasnic Tem, and Cassandra Peterson

Richard Laymon President's Award

Meghan Arcuri

Specialty Press Award

Thunderstorm Books, Paul Goblirsch

The Karen Lansdale Silver Hammer Award

Lila Denning

HWA Mentor of the Year

L. Marie Wood

This is a list of pit bull attacks and fatalities documented by the media and on social media for the month of May 2024. This list will be edited throughout the month and after as new incidents are reported.
Due to the high volume of attacks and Reddit's character limit, social media attacks will now be documented separately below but will still be included in the overall monthly totals.

MONTHLY TOTALS
CHILD FATALITIES	1
ADULT FATALITIES:	4
ANIMAL FATALITIES:	54
TOTAL ATTACKS:	204

May 1

• ANIMAL FATALITY - Florianópolis, Brazil: Family with 10 month old baby attacked, family dog killed.
• Macerata, Italy: Dog attacked at park by pit bull (whose owner fled) - Article
• Tartagal, Argentina: 26 y/o woman attacked by loose pit - Article
• Washington, D.C: 3 people bitten by 4 pit bulls - Article
• Philadelphia, PA: 53 y/o man attacked by 3 pit bulls - Article
• Ottumwa, IA: 9 y/o girl severely injured after attack by family friend's pit bull mix - Article

May 2

• San Rafael, Argentina: 62 y/o woman attacked by neighbor's pit - Article
• Chihuahua, Mexico: Elderly couple attacked and nearly killed by their pit bull - Article

May 3

• ANIMAL FATALITY - Campo Grande, Brazil: Small dog killed by 2 pit bulls (same dogs killed a cat on 5/5/24).
• Milan, Italy: 10 y/o child attacked by family pit bull - Article
• Lincoln, NE: 18 y/o woman attacked while walking her dog - Article
• Papillion, NE: Mail carrier attacked by 3 American Bulldogs - Article

May 4

• Capurso, Italy: Dog attacked by loose pit - Article
• Cascavel, Brazil: 35 y/o man bitten by pit bull - Article
• Guaíra, Brazil: Woman and her dog attacked - Article

May 5

• ANIMAL FATALITY - Campo Grande, Brazil: 2 pit bulls broke into home and killed a cat.
• Cascavel, Brazil: 4 y/o boy attacked - Article
• Campos dos Goytacazes, Brazil: Man and his dog attacked - Article
• San Andrés Cholula, Mexico: Small dog seriously injured by loose pit - Article
• Bromwich, England: 10 y/o girl was riding a horse when it was attacked by a loose pit - Article
• Glasgow, Scotland: Elderly dog seriously injured after being mauled - Article
• Rho, Italy: Dog and owner attacked - Article
• Saint-Michel, France: Man and his friend attacked by his pit bull - Article
• Kansas City, KS: Dog attacked and owner injured - Article

May 6

• ANIMAL FATALITY - Grand Rapids Charter Township, MI: Shih Tzu killed by neighbor's pit mix.
• Pawtucket, RI: Man attacked by loose pit while walking his dogs - Article
• União da Vitória, Brazil: Dog attacked by loose pit bulls - Article
• Tupã, Brazil: Working horse attacked - Article
• Itajaí, Brazil: Elderly woman attacked by loose pit - Article
• Santa María Colotepec, Mexico: Woman attacked by loose pit - Article

May 7

• Nueva Palmira, Uruguay: Cat mauled by pit bull - Article
• Ibitinga, Brazil: Woman attacked by neighbor's loose pit - Article
• Ringwood, England: Out of control pit bull was loose attacking other dogs - Article

May 8

• Votorantim, Brazil: Dog attacked - Article
• Juiz de Fora, Brazil: 5 y/o girl attacked and caretaker injured -Article
• Córdoba, Argentina: 13 y/o girl attacked on her way home from school - Article
• Folkestone, England: Pit bull type dog injured a man after fighting with 2 English Bulldogs - Article
• San Giorgio a Cremano, Italy: Small dog in critical condition and elderly owner injured after attack by 2 loose pits - Article

May 9

• Basavilbaso, Argentina: 26 y/o man injured after protecting his dog from a pit bull attack - Article
• Maricá, Brazil: 34 y/o woman's face mauled by her pit bull - Article
• Isbergues, France: 4 y/o girl's cheek torn off during attack - Article
• Edmonton, Alberta: 5 people attacked by 2 pit bulls - Article
• Sheffield, England: 7 y/o girl hospitalized with severe injuries - Article
• Maltby, England: Young child repeatedly bitten by family dog - Article

May 10

• Baraut, India: 45 y/o man in ICU - Article
• Jacarepaguá, Brazil: 50 y/o woman attacked by neighbor's pit bull - Article

May 11

• ADULT FATALITY - Itaperuna, Brazil: 77 y/o man killed by pit bull.
• Santa Helena, Brazil: 70 y/o woman attacked - Article
• Arezzo, Italy: Dog attacked and owner injured - Article
• Serracapriola, Italy: 15 y/o girl and 7 y/o girl attacked while playing - Article

May 12

• Camocim, Brazil: 5 y/o girl attacked - Article
• Rio de Janeiro, Brazil: 7 y/o girl attacked - Article
• Cascavel, Brazil: Man and woman attacked by their pit bull, along with another man who was injured - Article
• Juliaca, Peru: 19 y/o man attacked - Article
• Oleśnica, Poland: 26 y/o woman in critical condition after attack by 3 pit bulls - Article
• Milan, Italy: Paramedics attacked by pit bull - Article
• Portland, OR: Three people injured after a pit owner ordered his pit bull to attack - Article

May 13

• ADULT FATALITY - Buenos Aires, Argentina: 77 y/o woman doing yardwork killed by five pit bulls, passed away 5/17/24.
• Saint-Omer, France: 16 y/o girl and 35 y/o woman attacked - Article
• Sesto San Giovanni, Italy: 2 y/o girl flown to hospital and her aunt injured - Article

May 14

• Franca, Brazil: Dog attacked by pit bull, then a woman and her dog attacked by same dog - Article
• Sherman, TX: 17 y/o girl attacked by 4 pit bulls - Article
• Philadelphia, PA: 52 y/o woman attacked by 3 pit bulls - Article
• Noida, India: 8 y/o boy attacked by landlord's pit bull while visiting aunt - Article

May 15

• ANIMAL FATALITY - Avezzano, Italy: Cat killed by 2 pit bulls.
• Wirral, England: Pit bull attacked by another pit bull, both owners injured - Article
• Grimsby, England: 8 y/o boy attacked and had to be flown to the hospital - Article
• Wixom, MI: 1 y/o girl and her grandma attacked by 2 pit bulls - Article
• Tamandaré, Brazil: 4 y/o child attacked by loose pit bull - Article

May 16

• ANIMAL FATALITY - Nancy, France: Chihuahua killed.
• Edinburgh, Scotland: 26 y/o woman attacked by her 2 pit bulls - Article

May 17

• CHILD FATALITY - Vercelli, Italy: 5 month old boy killed by family's pit bull.
• ANIMAL FATALITY - Salvador, Brazil: Cat killed by pit bulls.
• Ubatuba, Brazil: Dog attacked - Article
• Sabará, Brazil: 4 y/o girl attacked - Article
• Holt Heath, England: 8 y/o girl attacked - Article

May 18

• ADULT FATALITY - Farmington Hills, MI: 40 y/o man killed by his dog.
• Ivaiporã, Brazil: Dog attacked and owner injured - Article
• Blumenau, Brazil: 42 y/o man attacked by neighbor's pit bull - Article
• Alessandria, Italy: 88 y/o man bitten after trying to separate a pit bull attacking Lagotto dog - Article

May 19

• ANIMAL FATALITY - Distrito Federal, Brazil: Shih Tzu killed and 17 y/o girl attacked.
• ANIMAL FATALITY - São Pedro da Aldeia, Brazil: Yorkie killed.
• Sanremo, Italy: Golden Retriever attacked and owner injured by 2 pit bulls - Article
• Istanbul, Turkey: Street cat attacked - Article

May 20

• ADULT FATALITY - Hornchurch, England: Woman in her 50s killed by her 2 dogs.
• Chatham County, NC: 3 people attacked by 4 pits (breed confirmed in article video) - Article
• Nettuno, Italy: Trainer at animal shelter attacked - Article

May 21

• Sarandi, Brazil: 2 people attacked - Article
• Boston, MA: 4 people hospitalized after attack - Article

May 22

• Boa Vista, Brazil: 7 y/o girl attacked - Article
• Minneapolis, MN: Mom and 2 children attacked. Mom in serious condition - Article

May 23

• ANIMAL FATALITY - Gela, Italy: Loose pit bull killed 3 cats.
• ANIMAL FATALITY - Philadelphia, PA: Small dog killed.
• Rio do Sul, Brazil: 56 y/o woman attacked - Article

May 24

• Sulmona, Italy: Jack Russell and owner injured - Article

May 25

• ANIMAL FATALITY - Petrolina, Brazil: Pit bull attacked 1 dog and later that day killed a puppy.

May 26

• ANIMAL FATALITY - São Mateus do Sul, Brazil: German Shepherd killed and another family dog injured by 3 pit bulls.
• Domusnovas, Italy: 2 10 y/o children attacked - Article
• Andria, Italy: Man in his 50s in serious condition after attack by his pit bull - Article
• Milwaukee, WI: At least 7 people attacked by 2 pit bulls - Article
• Youngstown, OH: Man and his girlfriend attacked by his pit bull after having an argument - Article
• Valley, AL: 2 attacks by same dogs (pit bull and Rottweiler): Woman attacked in the early AM, and later that morning a man was also attacked - Article

May 27

• Hull, England: 5 y/o boy's scalp partially ripped off - Article
• Massapê, Brazil: Elderly woman's face disfigured by grandson's pit bull - Article

May 28

• ANIMAL FATALITY - Zumaglia, Italy: Boxer puppy killed.
• Caserta, Italy: Dog attacked by pit bull that broke free from leash - Article
• Pontlottyn, Wales: 15 y/o boy hospitalized after dog attack - Article
• Airdrie, Scotland: 40 y/o man hospitalized for bite injuries - Article

May 29

• Jaru, Brazil: 2 pit bulls shot after attacking a smaller dog - Article
• Salvitelle, Italy: 70 y/o man hospitalized for attack - Article
• Bourges, France: Pit bull attacked 4 people, including owner - Article

May 30

• Marina di Massa, Italy: Man attacked by 2 pit bulls who were trying to get to his dog - Article
• Montepllier, France: Police officer severely bitten by pit bull who was attacking his K9 dog - Article

May 31

• Saronno, Italy: 20 y/o man attacked by neighbor's pit bull - Article

Unconfirmed Dates

• ANIMAL FATALITY - Rio Bonito, Brazil: Cat killed by 2 pit bulls.
• ANIMAL FATALITY - Santa Cruz de la Sierra, Bolivia: Dog killed by pit bull (responsible for killing 5 other dogs).
• ANIMAL FATALITY - Arpino, Italy: 8 cats killed by loose pits.
• ANIMAL FATALITY - Genoa, Italy: Little dog killed on walk with owner.
• ANIMAL FATALITY - Massarosa, Italy: Poodle killed and owner injured.
• ANIMAL FATALITY - Montegiorgio, Italy: Small dog killed and owner attacked.
• ANIMAL FATALITY - Terni, Italy: Small dog killed in front of owner.
• Monserrato, Italy: Beagle attacked - Article
• Leonforte, Italy: 8 y/o girl attacked - Article
• Pompeii, Italy: 8 y/o girl attacked - Article
• Carbonia, Italy: Small dog attacked and owner injured by 2 pit bulls - Article
• Catanzaro, Italy: Small dog attacked - Article
• Misilmeri, Italy: 49 y/o woman in serious condition after being attacked by her pit bull - Article
• Jaraguá, Brazil: Dog attacked by problematic pit bull - Article
• Greene County, MO: 8 y/o girl attacked while walking home from bus stop - Article

SOCIAL MEDIA ATTACKS

May 1

• ANIMAL FATALITY - Ijuí, Brazil: Mother dog and 4 of her puppies killed.
• Woodland, CA: Golden Doodle puppy mauled and owner injured by neighbor's pit - Post # May 2
• Cruz Alta, Brazil: 2 dogs attacked - Post
• North Spokane, WA: Cat severely injured after attack by pit bull - Post
• Americana, Brazil: Woman mauled by 2 pit bulls - Post
• San Diego, CA: 26 y/o man bitten by pit bull - Post # May 3
• ANIMAL FATALITY - Indiana, USA: Loose pit killed 2 chickens.
• Los Angeles, CA: Loose pit bull attacked another dog - Post
• Pompano Beach, FL: Shih Tzu/Maltese mauled by loose pit - Post
• Frankfort, KY: 9 y/o girl mauled by family pit bull - Post
• Toledo, OH: Young girl attacked by loose pit - Post # May 4
• Bella Vista, AR: Dog attacked by neighbor's pit - Post
• South Bend, IN: Lab attacked by 2 pit bulls in its own yard - Post
• New York, USA: Pit bull attacked another pit bull, biting her owner when they tried to intervene - Post
• Vancouver, WA: Shih Tzu violently attacked - Post # May 5
• West New York, NJ - Corgi attacked - Post
• Rio Grande, Brazil: Dog attacked by neighbor's pit who has already killed 6 dogs - Post
• Forreston, IL: Woman attacked at a park - Post # May 6
• Bellevue, WA: 2 Golden Retrievers attacked by loose pit bull - Post
• Omaha, NE: Dog and owner attacked by neighbor's pit - Post
• São José, Brazil: Owner threw his small dog out after it was attacked and injured by his pit bull - Post # May 7
• ANIMAL FATALITY - Franca, Brazil: Loose pit bull killed 2 dogs and injured another.
• Greensboro, NC: Woman attacked after protecting her 2 dogs from a pit bull - Post # May 8
• ANIMAL FATALITY - Cleveland, TX - Bull Terrier killed by group of pits.
• Detroit, MI: Woman attacked by neighbor's pit bull - Post
• São Miguel Arcanjo, Brazil: Community dog attacked - Post # May 10
• ANIMAL FATALITY - Rio de Janeiro, Brazil: Cat killed.
• ANIMAL FATALITY - Anápolis, Brazil: Shih Tzu killed by neighbor's pit.
• Schenectady, NY: Woman attacked and disfigured by pit mix - Post # May 11
• ANIMAL FATALITY - Pitangueiras, Brazil: Dog killed by loose pit.
• Sarajevo, Bosnia: 4-month-old puppy gravely injured by 2 pit bulls - Post # May 12
• Pitangueiras, Brazil: 2 dogs and 1 person attacked by pit bull that killed a dog the day before - Post
• Birmingham, AL: Small dog attacked on own porch - Post # May 13
• ANIMAL FATALITY - Goiânia, Brazil: Dog killed by loose pit.
• ANIMAL FATALITY - Lucas do Rio Verde, Brazil: Small dog killed.
• Planaltina, Brazil: Dog attacked in its own yard -Post
• Duluth, GA: Dog attacked by unleashed pit - Post
• Tacoma, WA: Man and his dog attacked - Post # May 14
• Sydney, Australia: Border Collie attacked at dog park - Post # May 16
• ANIMAL FATALITY - Troy, NC: 4 dogs invaded property, attacking multiple animals and killing a pony.
• Los Angeles, CA: 2 elderly dogs in critical condition after being mauled by pit bull and Cane Corso - Post
• Los Angeles, CA: Dog attacked and owner injured - Post
• Cruz Alta, Brazil: Dog previously attacked on 5/2 attacked again by same pit bull - Post # May 18
• ANIMAL FATALITY - Ironton, OH: Yorkie killed by 2 pit bulls.
• Pasadena, TX: Basset mix bitten and owner attacked - Post # May 19
• Columbus, OH: Pit bull attempted to attack Italian Mastiff at dog park and bit the owner - Post # May 20
• ANIMAL FATALITY - Varginha, Brazil: Kitten killed by 2 pit bulls.
• Cypress, TX: Papillon attacked by family friend's pit bull - Post
• Tampa, FL: Puppy attacked - Post # May 22
• ANIMAL FATALITY - Maryland, USA: Cat killed by family pits.
• ANIMAL FATALITY - Carambeí, Brazil: Dog killed by loose pit. # May 23
• New Jersey, USA: Dog attacked and owner bitten - Post # May 24
• Berkeley, CA: Jack Russell mix attacked - Post # May 25
• Oudsbergen, Belgium: Dog critically injured after attack by loose pit bull - Post
• Tulsa, OK: DoorDasher attacked while making a delivery - Post # May 27
• Franklin, TN: Dalmatian attacked - Post
• Midwest USA: Dog out on a walk attacked by loose pit - Post
• Baltimore, MD: Golden Retriever attacked by fake service dog - Post
• Missouri, USA: Pregnant woman and partner attacked by pit bull - Post # May 28
• ANIMAL FATALITY - Newcastle, England: Westie killed by unmuzzled and off-leash pit bull. # May 29
• Brooklyn, NY: Woman attacked and bitten several times after walking past a pit bull - Post
• Virginia Beach, VA: Dogs out on a walk attacked by pit bull, one in serious condition - Post # May 30
• Charlotte, NC: Horse attacked by 2 pit bulls - Post # May 31
• Hawaii, USA: 2 attacks: Young boy attacked by neighbor's pit on his way home from school. Woman bit by same dog a few days prior - Post # Unconfirmed Dates
• ANIMAL FATALITY - Itaborai, Brazil: Shih Tzu killed by pit bulls.
• Lapa, Brazil: Mutt attacked - Post
• Dayton, OH: Small dog suffering from many injuries after attack - Post