Let's talk about the phone call Perp got allegedly on his way to go "search" 🙄 for Maura.
Wasn't it really super convenient Perp got a voicemail on his way out to be questioned in her disappearance? He actually calls LE very excited to tell them she had just for sure called him, so she's alive, right?
But then, what happens when he plays them a call, that was not what him and his mother claimed, does anyone ever think that?
This was one of Perps dumb schemes.
It's the equivalent of him that time his mistress ended up on Bloody Valentines bleeding in a hotel room and Dumb Dumb pretended to faint. I wonder if V Day makes Mr Crazy murderous? Seems to be a pattern.
Back to his vm stunt though. That was suspicious and LE obviously wasn't buying it.
Then, Perp claims he listened to this vm for years, give me a break, and then Mommy said he deleted it right away.
How do some of you not see this?
Why do you buy his bullshit that isn't even logical?
Oh, and it magically happened when his phone is in a security bin, wtf ever.
Smarten up or at least try to apply logic.

1. Always be home before sundown.
2. Always bring a stranger to the Harvest Festival.
3. Avoid the Silent Ridge, especially Veilwood Manor.
4. Don’t whistle and should you hear your name on the wind, no you didn’t.
5. Lock your windows on the four turning days and draw the proper symbol on the door before dark. Blood is best.
6. Don’t marry or move house in the seventh month.
7. Don’t touch the oranges at the side of the road.
8. Stay away from Midnight Bakes.
9. Most of all, never, ever enter the woods.

We learned the rules in nursery and you’d best believe they’re fiercely enforced.
So, to my knowledge, no one has ever entered the woods. It's why as I take the corner on Cherry Street I’m muttering to myself about stupid hormones and almost blunder right into Mrs Anderson. She’d relish reporting me to the council for being out that close to sundown so I dove clumsily into the bushes. There was a tense moment when her little dog stopped to bark fiercely at the shrubbery I’d crouched in, but he’s a yappy little rat at the best of times so she just tutted and yanked him down the street.
I grinned as she stopped to smoke a quick cigarette before crossing over to Malborough Walk, I hate smoking on principle but am in favour of anything that gets that vicious old witch closer to the grave.
She changed her cardigan, hiding the old one in a bag behind the hedge and scrubbed her hands with sanitiser before slipping in a couple of breath mints. Her husband, a militant anti-smoker was rumoured to be in league with the Twilight Guardian so you’d think she’d have bigger things to worry about, but her faffing did give me a chance to text Micah to check our little adventure was still a go.
She aimed her rat dog perfectly so he peed all over Mrs Gardiner’s award-winning roses before finally heading home with a happy smile. My phone buzzed just as she moved out of sight and I got goddamned butterflies when I saw Micah’s name flash across the screen. ‘C u soon x’. I frowned down at the text speak, it was a beige flag for sure, but hey, no one’s perfect and there was that kiss at the end.
We rarely got new folk in Whitebridge. My mum told me Micah’s family was headhunted so-to-speak because his dad was a renowned thatcher who strongly championed traditional materials. They love that crap here, I swear they'd still sign cheques with a quill if they could get away with it. The world marches on while Whitebridge abides.
My dad said that we needed new blood and the Williams family also came with seven children, a mix of boys and girls, which made the council happy. Every vacancy had to be filled quickly and so much better if it also brought along future generations to indocrinate.
I was all twisted up about it.
My mother had been sick for a very long time, had wasted away to little more than skin and bone and I knew the council were already whispering about recruitment. She wasn’t even in the ground yet and my father had been spending his afternoons fixing up the widow Stone’s cottage. The tight fisted old cow had even given me a free dessert last week - a guilt cookie no doubt. I'd stabbed my little pocket knife into her tires right in front of her, but no one had said anything, which made it worse.
I didn’t need to be so careful after Cherry Street. There used to be a twilight bus service intended to round up the slow, the rebellious or the unwary. But, after Mr Griffiths had vanished no one wanted to take on the responsibility or expense of running it so it'd been cancelled. Apparently we should all take personal responsibility for our safety.
Once I’d skirted past the boarded-up clubhouse and the long, twisted shadows surrounding it I relaxed and put on some music. I only put in one earbud though because I’m not stupid - tonight excepted - sprinting past the fly-thronged stagnant pond into the woods.
After years of stern-faced warnings and veiled threats, I’d expected a fog-shrouded horror filled with looming trees and sharp-toothed monsters, but the forest was pretty. There were clumps of wildflowers, bushes heavy with sweet berries and the birds sang from high trees all around me. Rather than being a life ending nightmare, turned out the woods were an Instagram picnic spot. Figures.
I’d brought nothing but chocolate bars and condoms because I’m an optimistic kind of girl so I took the too-orange lipstick tube out of my pocket and drew arrows on the trees to mark my path. I was seventeen years old with parents who wouldn’t let me have a smartphone so short of pinching a compass from some museum it was lipstick or nothing.
It was the golden hour so I snapped some photos on my mother’s digital camera that I think she’d bought in ancient times - 1992 I think it was, so I didn’t have high hopes about the quality. I kept asking for one of those cool retro Polaroid cameras but I live in a town that’s only recently upgraded from sundials. Plus, outside of Harvest season we needed permission from the town elders to drive the seven hours to the nearest city - only place that stocked 600 film and I doubted I’d get that until I was about forty-two. That was way too old to be cool so it wouldn’t matter by then anyway.
I saw Micah before he saw me and I hid behind the tree to drink him in a little. He was as gold as the late afternoon, all wavy hair, long limbs and shining white teeth - like a pretty horse.
I watched horror movies, I knew how stupid this whole thing was - I might as well have come in a prom dress and heels, but knowing I was all alone in the woods with the boy I wanted more than a Polaroid camera, well, all that just faded away. Stupid I know, but hormones.
I’d be grounded for the rest of my natural life once I got home, so I resolved to enjoy myself fully and stepped out of the trees before I started overthinking what to say. ‘Hey’, I said, eloquent as always.
‘Hey’, he replied, so it was okay I guess.
‘I took some photos’, I said and decided there and then, twenty-five years from forty-two or not, I’ll never be cool.
He was looking at my legs in my cut-off jean shorts when he said. ‘Show me’.
Micah barely looked at the first few while his eyes continued to drift over my bare skin. I felt his attention like a caress. But, when I hit on the third photo he frowned and took the camera from my hand. ‘What’s that?’
I was staring at his lips, so I said. ‘Huh’.
Thankfully he took my reaction for surprise rather than further evidence of my social awkwardness. ‘Weird, right?’ he asked.
I forced myself to look at the screen and frowned too. ‘Huh’, I said again because I’m as eloquent as I am subtle.
It was weird. There was the forest and the flowers, just as expected, but on the furthest tree, right at the top, about forty feet up, there was a shadow that looked a lot like a hand. Not a human one, but it didn’t look like an animal either. It was small but too long and thin with three indistinct smudges that might have been fingers clinging to the trunk.
‘Go on’, Micah said and I did.
The next photo was normal, but the one after had the hand again, lower down the trunk that time as though something was climbing to the ground. The rest were trees and flowers again.
‘Maybe a weird branch?’ Micah said.
I shrugged, looking at his lips again. ‘Might be the camera’, I said. ‘It’s prehistoric. Or maybe a trick of the light’.
He caught me looking and gave me one of those knee-trembling smiles. He liked me looking at him and as I realised that, well suddenly neither of us cared much about the photo.
His fingers wrapped around mine, tentative at first, but after a reassuring squeeze, he held on tight.
'Let’s explore’, he said, ‘before the light goes’.
Hiking around the woods, pretty as they were, wasn’t exactly the type of exploration I’d had in mind, but it did mean I got to watch him walk away so it wasn’t all bad. He smiled at my lipstick arrows but didn’t tease me so we walked in companionable silence while I contemplated how to explain I wanted to marry him and have his beautiful children without making it awkward.
‘How far are we going?’ I asked after a while as the long shadows started lapping hungrily at the edges of the treeline.
He looked at me over his shoulder and grinned at me again. ‘As far as you want, love’. He pulled out a flashlight and a box of matches. ‘I came prepared after all’.
‘So did I’, I mumbled, patting my pockets.
He kissed me for the first time in a field of strange standing stones as the moon found its place amongst an expanse of glittering stars and I don’t think I’ve ever been happier than I was right then. Afterwards, in the awkward fumble to replace what he’d taken off my camera fell out of my pocket.
Micah pulled me down beside him and kissed me again. ‘Let’s take a selfie’, he said. ‘Just for us’.
He was only half dressed so I gave him a look. ‘Better be just for us’.
Micah laughed, low and easy, happy too I suppose and shrugged. ‘We should probably head back soon’.
There was that fear in me now. His desire to rush suddenly back to normality stirred up insecurities I’d pushed away in the heat of the moment.
He saw it. ‘We can explore more next time’, he said softly and we both smiled in the near dark.
We took two selfies in the end and were too busy arguing over whether we should go for a third to notice it at first - I’d pulled a weird face in both that Micah thought was cute and I most definitely didn’t. But in the end, my eyes drifted beyond us to the landscape beyond.
‘Huh’, I said because three times the charm.
Micah yawned as he shrugged on his shirt. ‘What now?’
I tapped my nail against the screen. ‘That’s not a smudge’.
The clearing was large, the treeline about twenty feet back from the stones and there was a figure standing in front of them. Its features were indistinct - the flash wasn’t amazing after all - but it couldn’t be anything else. It was about ten feet tall and above it were more of those tiny white hands against the bark.
We both spun around at the same time and Micah shone his flashlight in that direction - it was that stupidly expensive one with 100,000 lumens that’s meant to light up the night. It did and we saw that the treeline was empty. No strangely shaped tree, no white hands and nothing that might be mistaken for a person.
It was then I noticed how quiet the forest was. With the coming of the night, a subtle change had come over the woods and I didn’t like it.
‘Take another’, Micah whispered and I turned to him, confused. ‘Just do it’, he said, fingers digging into my arm in a way I didn't like, but I did it because I wanted to see too.
Micah had kept the flashlight aimed at the trees while I took the picture. The figure was in the photo again, but it was a step or so closer that time and what I assumed was its head had turned more in our direction, as though we’d drawn its attention.
‘There’s nothing there’, Micah said and repeated it twice, as though he could convince himself it was true.
I took another photo.
The figure was closer again and where its head faced us, two red glimmers that might have been eyes burned against the black. I took a moment to study it more closely - know your enemy and all. It looked like those Ents from the Lord of the Rings movies, all stretched out and bark-like, with strange jointed limbs that bent in all the wrong ways. There were more white hands too and somehow I knew there wouldn't be one without the other.
‘It’s been with us from the start’, I said.
Micah was breathing too fast and his pupils were dilated. I reminded myself that he hadn’t grown up here and wasn’t as used to weird stuff as I was, so I gave him a moment to freak out in the dark, though I did judge him for it - a little bit.
‘Monsters don’t exist’, he said.
‘Some places are old and have long memories’, I said, repeating something my father had said once. ‘What we call monsters weren’t always seen that way and they don’t always realise things have changed’.
Micah was pale as he stabbed a finger toward the trees. ‘That’s a monster’, he said and I cringed. ‘What?’ he demanded. ‘Am I hurting its precious fee fees? Will it kill us quicker now?’
I decided to hold off on the children for now, at least until I’d assured myself of his intelligence.
‘They told you about the Twilight Guardian, right?’ I asked. ‘And Aurilis?'
Micah only nodded, seeming beyond words for the moment. I liked him better quiet.
‘Why not three Gods then, when we already have two?’ I asked. 'One that's fallen out of favour'.
‘God, you’re really one of them’, he said with a groan. ‘You know those are just stupid superstitions, right?’
I liked him less then.
‘I’ll ask you about that again after Harvest’, I said as I took another photo.
It was closer still, large steps eating up the space between us and one arm was extended, as though to grab onto something. There was a small white face peeping out from behind his legs, but it looked all wrong and I deleted the picture without examining it further.
‘Stop that’, Micah said and hit the camera out of my hand. I wondered what I'd ever seen in him.
‘It’s the only way we can see where it is’, I pointed out, retrieving it with a scowl. The case was cracked, but it still worked. ‘Thanks for that, by the way’.
‘What do we do?’ Micah asked.
‘We leave', I said. I didn't say obviously, but the word hung in the air between us anyway.
It was a good plan and would have worked perfectly if the lipstick marks were still on the trees. Micah took that about as well as you might expect. It took me too long to calm him down and the whole time the camera burned a hole in my hand as I fought the impulse to take another photo.
Just when I’d got him to stop muttering and trying to break the camera a long low whooping sound echoed through the trees. It sounded like a large group calling to one another in the dark and there was a long creaking sound in response as the woods shifted to meet them. They were getting closer.
‘Why isn’t it attacking us?’ Micah asked and as much as his voice irritated me, it was a good question.
It was huge, it could have been upon us already. It could have taken us when we were lost in one another in the grass, but it had only watched and waited. Why?
There was a long low creak behind us, the only sound for miles and I knew it was looming over us at that moment - a realisation I wisely didn’t share with Micah. Out of the corner of my eye I caught a red gleam high above. The creature was showing itself to me. Micah's eyes flicked about constantly but he saw nothing and I knew then that it wasn't only me who saw his true worth. He was an outsider and always would be.
We started walking again and another whoop came from our right, Micah veering left, away from it. A series of similar cries continued as we blundered through the dark forest and I privately understood that we were being herded somewhere for an unknown purpose. Micah had reverted to childhood, clinging to my hand like I was his mother leading him across a road and my passion for him died a little more as I realised it.
His torch died, of course. His face was scratched by branches that seemed to move aside for me, mud eating at his ankles while I walked on cloud. After an indeterminable time, we broke from the trees and found ourselves in another clearing.
It had a stone table in the middle covered in crimson stains that sent Micah off into another spiral and he trotted after me, panting slightly as I explored. I ignored him. It was beautiful really, the grooves of the ancient stone, the distant sound of water and the lush greenery; flowers richer in colour and sweeter in scent than any I’d seen elsewhere.
‘What is this place?’ Micah whined.
‘You really don’t know anything, do you?’ I said but didn’t bother waiting for his answer.
Instead, I anticipated the long creak before it came as a patch of dying flowers at the edges of the field bloomed again. Life from death. The woods held their breath as I retrieved a dirty little boot from the ground behind the stone. I dropped it before Micah saw, exhaled and with it came my murmured answer. ‘Yes’.
‘What?’ Micah asked, but I only smiled and took his hand, leading him away.
He gaped at the first lipstick mark beyond the little clearing, but after he saw the third he’d simply decided that we’d suffered some sort of group hysteria brought on by the dark and the silly superstitions rammed down our throat at every opportunity. I didn't argue.
I took one more photo as we left the woods, but I didn’t show that one to Micah. In it the figure lingered on the edge of the woods, one hand raised in farewell - it knew I would return soon enough, after all, we'd made a bargain.
It’s all too easy to rationalise the inexplicable beneath the comforting glow of modern streetlights and by the time we’d reached his street Micah was all soft kisses and easy laughter again. I couldn't believe it. We were done by midsummer.
He embarrassed himself and his family at the Harvest Festival and they packed up and left before Yule. It was for the best. The council was disappointed to lose someone of his father’s skill, but it was widely agreed that they just hadn’t fit in. I didn’t often agree with the council, but I did agree with that.
They were already searching for the next family. The old ones were stirring and hungry so we needed more people before the next turning day. In my opinion, their insistence on giving everything the personal touch wasn’t working anymore. We needed to get Whitebridge on the map and reach the people who liked creepy little towns with interesting histories and customs. The right people would come looking for us, but of course, they all switched off the moment I started talking about the internet. Sundials, remember.
I laboured alone in the forest a day or so before Valentine's Day and when our baby made its wet, squealing entrance into the world the trees showered us both in cherry blossoms. The whoops were closer that day and now and again I caught flashes of small faces in the gloom watching over us both.
My hands left new crimson stains on the stone as I placed my daughter on it wrapped in a warm blue blanket the shade of Micah’s eyes. I didn’t know what He would do with the child, but it didn’t matter really as I’d always known I couldn’t keep her.
But I did take a photo as I left the clearing, out of curiosity more than anything and that one I kept. An image of tiny girl cupped gently in the hand of something much older and larger, red eyes looking down upon her while little white hands reached up in welcome.
That was six months ago and I wake today to the sounds of crockery in the kitchen as my mother bustles around making breakfast. My father sits at the table, watching her with heart eyes. Mrs Stone left town a while back after a mysterious house fire and all was as it should be again. My father hadn’t been the first man she’d had working on her cottage so no one missed her - besides, her cookies were terrible.
My mother, hale and hearty again sets a plate brimming with blueberry pancakes before me. ‘The old Collins house has new occupants’, she says, pouring coffee for the three of us. ‘Two boys about your age, plus a babe in arms. The wife’s already pregnant again too. Husband’s a butcher, they say’.
‘We’ll be sorted for Harvest this year then’, my father says, flicking through the paper. ‘No one wants a repeat of last year. You’d think that boy had never seen blood before’. He tuts and sighs, a damning condemnation indeed.
My nose wrinkles as it often does when I think about Micah. ‘Still’, I say, tucking into my breakfast, ‘Whitebridge will welcome six new souls’.
‘New blood’, my father agrees.
My mother sits down with us, but I notice she doesn't eat much and her hand lingers on her stomach like she's soothing old hurts. The first bite of autumn is in the air and spring feels a long way away. The Holly King will ride soon, leaving nothing but cold death in his wake and it will take all of our efforts to see the lands bloom again.
‘Hold dinner. I’ll take a basket over after lunch’, I say, losing my appetite. ‘Show the boys around town’.
‘That’s kind of you’, my mother says approvingly, slipping me another pancake. ‘Eat up now, you've lost so much weight since spring'.
'Be back before sundown', my father adds, diving back into his paper and it's all settled.
‘I will’, I lied.

Hi everyone,
Long time listener, first time caller. A joke from calling into radio stations. Despite the dated joke, I am a man in my mids 20s. I was born right before the turn of the century so I got to grow up as the digital age was developing. I knew I was different growing up but I never really knew why until I was about twelve. I remember talking to Child Study professionals from ages 4-12. I got modified assignments, I got put into another room during tests and got extra time. It was only during a routine check up did I learn of my diagnosis. "So how's the Aspergers?" An awkward question that I had no answer to but my mom answered like it was nothing. I asked her on the car ride and that opened Pandora's Box. I started doing more research. I started connecting dots. I was happy I could make sense of why the world didn't seem to make sense through my eyes. The bullying sucked I will admit but I at least I knew why. The almost obsessive interests in Pokemon and Digimon, the tendency to hyperfixate on things, the random repeating of phrases. But my sudden clarity would become a blessing and a curse. Through the trials and tribulations of the American public school system, I slowly became more self-aware of my behavior. Why didn't I fit in quite as easily as others? Sure there are a lot of kids that are awkward and get made fun of for their character quirks that don't have ASD. But I wanted to be accepted. So I slowly took bits and pieces from friends who were in the cooler social circles. I used to laugh at everything, not knowing when a joke started and ended, and got made fun of. So I learned to look for the minor inflections in voices that denotes a laugh. I learned to use my dry manner of speak to my advantage. I copied mannerisms, became hyperaware of my body language. I started masking. I still made social faux pas but it was mitigated. I count myself lucky that I had a large, diverse group of friends I could be myself around. But along the way, I lost sight of who that person truly was. I spent so long with the mask up that I wasn't sure if there was a real person underneath. MAsking your quirks makes you hyperaware, hypervigilant. I developed social anxiety and became self-conscious about how I was being perceived at any given moment. I have since worked on this in therapy and am doing better but it has been a long road.
Growing up, my mom had to facilitate a lot of my friendships until about 5th grade. She wanted to make sure I was developing as much as I could. I was a hyperactive kid who would not shut up about my special interests. Luckily, the friends I made shared those same interests. I had a friend who I knew since kindergarten. We would go to each other's houses all the time. We would gush over Power Rangers. It was a particularly big special interest for me and it was freeing to be able to talk about. Unfortunately, as we grew older, we slowly grew apart. He became more interested in fitting in. He would often say "You are obsessed" and "that stuff is for kids" even though we were 8, 9, 10 years old. The things I was into became frowned upon. So I hid them. I would get made fun of but he never outwardly defend me. I still considered him my best friend. But I think I stopped being his. We are still friends but not as close as we used to be. My outlook on life is very simple and tends to be black and white. If we have a few decent interactions and connect on a single interest, I consider you a friend. Understanding the nuance between acquaintance and friend can be difficult at times. I don't do well with change. The people you think are going to be in your life forever may not be there in a few years. That hurt to learn. Learning that people grow and change into adulthood hurts too. Things aren't the same as they were when you were young. But I still want to just play video games, play with imaginary friends and just hang out like we did 10 years ago. It hurts that people don't share the same thoughts on consistency like me. But Individuals are allowed to be just that, individual. Again, I am lucky enough to have found people that like me for me. I played soccer at the collegiate level and met lifelong friends through it. I was able to find people that accepted me with all of my perceived flaws and quirks. I came to terms with the fickleness of human personality and understood that others are dealing with their own stuff too. Im still anxious but I feel more comfortable in my own skin.
Now, of course, if you expecting to hear something about romantic relationships, we have finally arrived. I just wanted to give some context. Of course, I did overexplain some things but I digress. Growing up, I was a romantic cynic on the outside, and a hopeless romantic on the inside. I always wanted love but yet never understood how to get it. I watched a lot of television and played a lot of games. I am naturally introverted and am often in my own head rather than reality. I used to daydream about being a relationship all the time. I would develop crushes and think I was going to spend my life with the person. Yes even at 8 years old. I would build up the courage and confess my affection through notes or through someone else. But I never really knew the other person. I was falling in love with a idea. I liked the idea of love. Someone who is there for you. To help comfort you when you're sad. They make you happy and you get to kiss all the time. But that way of thinking is selfish. You are taking the other person out the equation and you are constructing a person that will compensate your feelings of loneliness. It's not totally a bad thing. I can be nice to escape from reality from time to time. But at some point, you have to come back. Which sucks. But I learned this the hard way. And sometimes, that's the only way. Women, men or any person you are trying to date have their own thoughts, emotions, wants and needs. You can't expect a blank canvas. As a man, I was lucky to have female friends who could give me a perspective on life as a women. The do and don'ts of courting, be respectful and taking rejection in stride. I started college thinking every thing would be different. I would start dating with this new rubric. I met someone who seem to fit every category. She also played soccer, she was in the same major and I found her attractive (she wore glasses, that's a thing for me). I will say I had a very low threshold for attraction. We were snapchating, talking every day and we became pretty good friends. In retrospect, the relationship was a little one-sided as I was more a person to vent to, but I digress. I was convinced that things were going well. I confessed one night after mustering up all my courage (notice the pattern?). She said maybe. People, if you get a maybe, take it as a NO and try to move on. I latched on that maybe and selfishly thought 'She'll come around, eventually'. I made sure stay respectful. I asked her out a few times but did not a committal response. One night, I had helped her walk a friend home from a party. We ran into some friends of hers and they asked "is that your boooooyfriend", like a child. She responded with an "Ew no" and we moved on. After taking some time, I realized that I needed to exercise some self-respect. I sent a text explaining that I liked being her friend and I did not want to lose that. But I still liked her romatically so i needed time and space to work that out. I had been falling for the surface level things we had in common and we never connected any deeper. I grew from the experience and learned that, for me at least, a relationship should have a basis in friendship. Love your partner, but you should also like your partner too. Also, for all the young men who are attracted to women out there, you can be friends with the other sex without expecting sex or a relationship. As I stated, I benefitted by the different perspectives of the friends I had made. My first relationship ended up being with a women I had made friends with freshmen year of college.
I had a lot of bad luck with romance all throughout my schooling days. Most of it was my fault, given I never really knew the people i had crushes on. In college, it was more out of my control. I used dating apps (every one you could think of) and didn't have much success. I worked on myself and slowly improved my dating profile. I tried the direct approach, giving a personal description that almost exceeded the character count. I wanted to make sure the other person knew as much about me as possible. That didn't seem to work so I tried the witty line. That kinda worked but not by much. I got few matches that didn't go anywhere. I got a date once but the person on the profile didn't really look like it in real life. That and we didn't really have anything in common. I will say I did not deal with that the most mature way (ghosted). Don't do that, I'm not proud of it but live and learn. The next time I asked somebody out, they texted me the morning after at 3 am to tell me they are getting back with their ex and she subsequently tried to set me up with a friend out of pity. I could only laugh. At that point, I decided to give up on love. It wasn't meant for me. I got too many quirks and idiosyncracies. I don't deserve love. I'm just a wast...and the spiral continued. Funny enough, I decided to download Tinder for umpteenth time at the beginning of junior year. I swiped on a friend that I made freshman year who I had been attracted but never acted on it. She had a boyfriend at the time so I just let it go. She, her friends and I were often studying in the same common area and developed a rapport. They were Bio majors so I didn't have any classes in common with them my sophomore year. I would always say hi in passing and stop for small talk here and there but nothing major. I was surprised when she matched with me. It was a surreal feeling. Does someone that I like like me back? This was unprecedented. I felt like I made progress. Maybe people like me can find someone. But I didn't want to get my hopes up. She could have swiped because we knew each other (I don't know what that means either but it's what I thought). Then we talked. and talked some more. And some more. I never asked for advice from friends. I tried to be as authentic as possible. It turns out I am pretty witty over text. I was (and still am) oblivious to signs of attractions, given it had never been reciprocated before. She actually asked me to see a scary movie together. I made a comment about scarying easily and she said I could hold her hand if I get jumpy. Well that is the most obvious sign I could get. Date goes well, We start studying together. I actually initiated a snuggle as we watched a movie. RED ALERT, physical contact with a romantic interest. Wooooo! One day we are hanging out and tells me that her friends had said that they wished that they could find a guy like me back then. That helped my self-esteem immensely. I felt comfortable disclosing my ASD after she asked why I wasn't the party type of person. Too loud, too many smells, too crowded. She was receptive and understanding. I was estatic. I was doing the impossible, in my eyes. I had a lot of firsts in a short amount of time. Specifically, in the physical department. I got my first kiss, and some touchy-feelies of private parts in one night. Things were happening fast. I got asked to define the relationship AFTER my first time. That was a very awkward time to be asked this question. But I wanted to be with her so... yeah. I did everything I could to be a good boyfriend. Be supportive, try to hang out when I can, make time for her and make sure that I try to be the best person I can be. Unfortunately, some things are out of your control. After a month, there had been a bit of distance. I was oblivious to it; I was so focused on being the perfect boyfriend. One day, we were trying to pick something to watch and we couldn't decide on anything. She didn't like anime and I didn't want to watch baking shows. She asked me if something felt off between us. I didn't think so but she did. She essentially told me that she wasn't falling in love with and she didn't think she would. I was blindsided. I accepted it, I couldn't really blame her. I didn't do anything wrong. But those thoughts started to come back. "See, you don't deserve it and you never did", "the other foot was going to drop eventually", "too good to be true", etc. I spiralled. I was a mess for months. I finally got diagnosed with depression and anxiety. I started taking meds. I started therapy. Eventually, I got better and felt ready to try again.
I was a bit jaded butwanted to start putting myself out there, slowly. This time, I chose a combination of witty honesty for my Tinder profile. Something like looking for wholesome connections on Tinder may not be the best, but I am naive. Then I met HER. Oh man, what a looker. And would you believe she messaged me first? She was refreshed by my honesty and thought I was attractive. Woah. Now this is 4 months from when my first relationship ended. I wanted to take things slow. I told myself that I would make sure I truly connected with someone before getting into a relationship. So that's what I did. We talked every day, really getting to know each other. We had similar interests and some different ones. She is brutally honest and straightforward just like me. She is confident and funny, but she had such a capacity for empathy and understanding. They say you should never have your standards too high. I had always felt like mine were, given I spent years in my own head, crafting the perfect person. But, imagine, you meet someone who fits so closely to almost every criteria? We became good friends. I slowly opened up more. That includes complimenting her, believe or not. I tend to come on strong in most situations so I tried to be more reserved. She has such a beautiful smile. Anyway, i digress. I started to realize that I was falling for her. Hard. Not like before though. Like I wake up and think about her. Go to bed and think about her. We started talking over winter break while I was at home. We were long distance but I would come back every other week. Our first date was at....a movie (original I know). I was very nervous because I really liked her, I wanted it to go well..and we were also horny people in their early twenties who may or may not planned to do the deed in the parking lot. Which was not great because again, I was nervous. But things got better. She became my girlfriend. The bad thoughts went away. I fell in love. Let me tell you, it feels great. Plus, lockdown happened towards the beginning of our relationship. So we got to see each other super often. Inseperable. We knew that we would marry each other. We found our person. 4 years later, now its happily ever after. Except life isn't a fairy tale. Nothing to celebrate on my anniversary, no one to see on Valentine's Day. We went on a break in Spetmeber to work on ourselves. We became co-depepndent. She had mental health challenges that I couldn't fix. I couldn't make it better. No matter how hard i tried. We were our own support system. But she was the love of my life and I wasn't going to give up. But then she broke up with me in October. She fell out of love. She called me the next day and changed her mind. She made a mistake. I have a girlfriend again. Two days later, she broke up with me again. She made a mistake in making a mistake. Fast forward a month, her birthday is coming up. I still check up on her story on Insta. It would be the first I missed. I had sent her a letter to get closure. She responded. We talk. Im just happy to hear her voice. two days later, she misses me and wants to come back. I'm happy. My whole outlook changes. I can listen to music again. We plan on spend thanksgiving together. Things are gonna back to normal. I stayed up all night the night before I pick her up from school. I'm too excited. Then the text. "I think Im running away from my problems please don't come". She blocks me again. We talk. If she is going to come back, she wants to come back better. She doesn't want me to wait and if I find somebody else....I stopped her. I only wanted to be with her. I wont wait but I will always keep the door open for her. She is worth it. But I lied. I lied to her but more importantly, I lied to myself. I was telling myself I was getting better. I downloaded apps again. I started working out again. Im moving on. No, I waited. I put my life on hold. Waiting. For just one phone call. One text. I get the love of my life back. Today, I saw a picture of her kissing another guy. She was happy. She was better. He looked like I did when I was with her. I reached out. I wanted to scream. I wanted to yell. But I couldn't. Because love is unconditional. I love her and I always will. But with love comes loss. Love means being happy for her even if it's not with me. Love is not some emotion that makes you want to have sex and kiss. Love is commitment. Love is doing the little things. Love is being there even when you are mad at each other. Love is not standing in the way of your loved ones happiness. Love is hard. Love is not a feeling. I have a hard time with feelings. I can;t understand them half the time. But I know what love is. I had it and I lost it. It's soul crushing and it's not fair. But Love....is knowing when to let go. I hope I can find it again someday. But for now, I have to stop waiting.

CAL. MAIOR. LUDI FLORES. NEW MOON OF THE THIRD MONTH.

Salve salve, Jaguar Warriors at the Flower Games!
There seems to have been quite a lot of writing done over the last month, as I look back over it: one little book almost finished and two little books started. All of them niche within niche within niche – mere exercises in rhetoric and utterly meaningless; we have not refuted abramic religion, nor solved the matter of politics, nor cured mental illness – quite in fact we have been simply writing elaborate epigrams in the style of M. Valerius Martialis, as Chrysippus did and as Plato and Galen did, and so on and so on. Quite in fact, over this last month, my greatest accomplishment in my opinion was none of these exercises in rhetoric but that time when I improved upon the fish-feed mechanism in my garden and repaired the roof, as: those are tangible things, you understand, far superior to the phantasms of political affairs, grande narrative and “putting the world right” that preoccupies so those dusty labyrinthine passages in the minds of Men and Women; as: all desire, as Bastiat observed, to clamour that someone else sweep the floor when they could themselves be sweeping the floor – mere laziness. I am inclined to approve of the great-great-grandmother of yours, reader, who would have lifted your skirt or pulled down your Vikingr lodbrok and turned your bare arse the colour purple with a broomstick for being so work-shy; indeed, mad and lunatic in that moment of action, she would nevertheless be correct in her intuition that if she did not do such a thing to you that you would never learn the lesson as none else would care to trouble themselves to give it to you; being overly concerned of the matter of their own self-image, and thus a village and thus a township and thus a peoples would wither on the vine; their vintage never even realized - much less sampled, and much much less facilitating progenition.
Here, let us honour Octavian Caesar’s favourite pastime, in the spirit of the Flores, and roll the dice; let us pick a book and a page and a verse at random, and see what M. Valerius Martialis has to say at this juncture:
O’ thank the Lares it is short and praise be that it mentions Grapes! That would be the equivalent of rolling a double six, on a pair of dice each with 750 sides, you understand.

Galbina (a type Woodpecker)’s quills are cheated and her wings bound by nets;

Galbina decipitur calamis* et retibus ales,

writhing and swollen; all gone green over a mere raw grape.

turget\* ad hoc viridi cum rudis uva mero.*

M. VALERIUS MARTIALIS, BOOK 13, VERSE 68

\calamis: feather, pen, quill.*
\*either ‘turget’ is either to be translated as ‘swollen’ (from: turgida) (as it is in Bohn’s version) or it is ‘twist, torment, distorted’ (from: torqueo; pertorqueo, extorqueo, etc.), with the latter “tor-go-eo” (or “tor-gwa-eo”) more phonetically closer to the otherwise inexplicable word ‘turget’ “tor-geet”, so I just use both – probably it is the latter since it offers a better image of “writhing under a net”.*
Honestly it beggars belief how Bohn missed this one; I mean: what sense does this make:

“The (Woodpecker) is trapped by reeds and nets, while the grape, yet immature, swells with green juice.” Bohn’s Classical Library (1897)

Obviously the ‘joke’ is that the woodpecker who sought to eat the green raw grape has turned green through exertion and terror as consequence of being snared by the use of the green raw grape as bait. The reader may understand why I have such confidence in the worth of my own amusements here as that many of these Epigrams even in their most basic sense of overt verbatim import, let alone their deeper profundities, seem to sit utterly unrealized.
Such is true also, I suppose, of the contents of our index page,

• TRUE SELF AND EGO DEATH; THE ERADICATION OF THE FALSE; SUPERFICIAL, SELF THE EXTRICATION FROM PATHOS (2) also a video supplemental from McKenna on “the ego of the false self; ego as a construct of culture”
• QUICK THOUGHT ON HOW NARCOTICS CAME TO DOMINATE PSYCHOLOGY IN THE WEST; “INNER SELF AND INNER WORLD” AS THE EGO CONSTRUCT OF THE FALSE SELF VS. “CAUSES OF THINGS” IN THE EXTERNALWORLD, OR JUNG VS FREUD
• IT’S NOT “WOKE”, MATE, IT’S LATE STAGE CAPITALISM H.G. WELLS INTERVIEW WITH STALIN (1934) (1)
• THOUGHTS ON THE UNDUE CONCRETENESS WHICH WE PROJECT ONTO THE CULTURE IN THE WORLD AROUND US, OR ETHNOS IN FOSTERING A DISPOSITION ANTITHETICAL TO REALIZING THE LOGOS OF THE MATERIAL WORLD AND ATTUNING TO IT LOGOS VS ETHNOS (3)
• THE POLITICS OF ABSURDISM, OR THE FAMILIAR PATTERN OF HOW AN ABSURDIST IDEOLOGY SUBSUMED DEMOCRACY DESTROYED CIVILIZATION ACROSS THE ROMAN EMPIRE, AND AN INTRODUCTION TO THE CHRISTIAN RHETOIC OF DEAD-PAN ABSURDISM LOGOS VS ETHNOS (4)
• THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN EGO AND TRUE SELF LOGOS VS ETHNOS (5)
• ON ROMAN CHRISTIANITY AS CONSIDERED BY THE ROMAN PATRICIANS AND JESUS AS LOGOS; JESUS AS THE MESSIAH OF THE JEWS, AND “THE PARABLE OF THE “GOLDEN ROMANS”, OR THE COMPREHENSION OF VIRTUE THAT WAS LOST TO CHRISTIANITY LOGOS VS ETHNOS (6)
• THOUGHTS ON CLASS WARFARE, EXAMINING THE MANAGERIAL CLASS, OR THE BOURGEOIS, IN THE CONTEMPORARY WEST COMPARED TO THE BOURGEOIS OF THE EARLY 1900’S CIVICS AND PRODUCTION POWER, H.G. WELLS INTERVIEW WITH STALIN (1934) (2)
• CLASS WARFARE AND THE BOURGEOIS CONTINUED, AND THE USE OF PATHOS IN MEDIA (ATROCITY PROPAGANDA) AS AN EFFORT TO SEIZE TEMPORARY DIRECTORATE POWER CIVICS AND PRODUCTION POWER, H.G. WELLS INTERVIEW WITH STALIN (1934) (3)
• DEMOS AS ETHNOS, OR SOCIAL INFLUENCE AS THE DEMOS AND THE RECOGNITION OF THE DEMOS AS THE PRIMARY EVIL THING; I.E. THE EVIL OF THE “GREEK POLITY” ITSELF, AND THE AETIOLOGY OF THE WORD AND CONCEPT OF A DEMON (IN THE CHRISTIAN FRAMING OF THINGS) LOGOS VS ETHNOS (7)
• INTRODUCTION TO ROMAN PAGANISM, THE ORIGINAL OF POLYTHEISM AND SHAMANISM IN THE NATURAL SCIENCES CUSTOMS OF OUR ANCESTORS (WORKING TITLE) (1)
• THE ETRUSCAN ORIGINS OF ROMAN PAGANISM, AND THE “SECULAR RELIGION” OF THE ROMAN TEMPLES CUSTOMS OF OUR ANCESTORS (WORKING TITLE) (2)
• ON THE INTERTIA OF CULTURE*

\more of a follow-up to* this rant about the culture of docility and passive egoism in West, of which the internet is a apex crystallization of, as being undeniably the cause of war, genocide and domestic enmity, as: we today do not possess the excuses of the past of having some culture of militarism nor an autocratic government which can be blamed for causing these things as has historically been the excuse to “explain away” such things in human behaviour.

• THOUGHTS ON FALSE CLAIMS OF PERSECUTION, OR THE GREATLY IGNORED CASE STUDY OF “FALSE CLAIMS OF PERSECUTION AS POLITICAL LEVERAGE (OR SOCIAL CAPITAL)” DEMONSTRATED BY THE EARLY CHRISTIANS**

\*probably this ought be read as* “Logos vs Ethnos (7.1)”

• DEMOS CONTINUED AND EXPANDED, THE FALSE UNIVERSE OF THE “DEMOS-THINKER” AND “THE PUBLIC” AS AN ARTIFICAL CONSTRUCT (OF THE MEDIEVAL PRINTING-PRESS) AND THE MASS PSYCHOSIS OF POLITICAL NARRATIVES LOGOS VS ETHNOS (8)

all draft copies, all subject to revision and usually in need of tidying up

and

lest we forget the last dice roll: MARTIAL 5:45-5:47; in which Martial – in the first verse in my opinion – forces a Helot or Dacian boy to dress as a girl, then makes fun of the boy for “wanting to be a girl”, then explains in the next verse that the reason he is sexually humiliating the lad is simply to kill the boys spirit. Then he mocks a ‘Philo’ (which certainly is a reference to the wisest of the Greeks; regardless of any more depth to it than that) for being too poor to afford to eat; suggesting, I think, that the fake moralists only complain about such things and do not do such things is because they simply lack the coin to do such things themselves; as like in another verse to the same effect; how easy it is for a poor Man to resist narcotics or sexual indulgences when he has no means to procure them in the first place, when give him 200,000 sesterces and see how he immediately changes into the drunkard and the whore-monger.
But honestly, reader, if you think I have been choosing these epigrams with any forethought you are completely cracked. See here that we have upset the homosexuals ‘and’ the anti-homosexuals all in one go. However if one is in neither camp and is, therefore, able to enjoy such witticisms for their own sake as fond mockery, that such poems are Fucking “Based” – in both the colloquial and verbatim meaning of that word at once. Ultimately that ‘is’ the intention of the most highly moralistic satire, lest it need be pointed out to you – and obviously it does.
Anyway I am quite done with talking to you now, ‘the public’, you do not even exist according to the most cutting-edge thesis on the matter; and more importantly than this: it is a Nice Day outside.

Valete.

CAL. MAIOR. LUDI FLORES. NEW MOON OF THE THIRD MONTH.

​

There are 5 areals inside of which 5 elements reside. The five areals are: ● Mirage(hollow, reflective, refractive, instantanious, where psyche meets spirit). ● Woman (love, where spirit meets fire), ● Digitage( non-corporeal, energy storage where water meets fire) . ● Foilage(birthing, absorbing, growing, where animal meets water), ● Man(strife, where animal meets psyche)
(The elements between each areal are respectfully spirit, fire, water. animalia and psyche)
Inside animalia there are 6 distinct animals from which genesis occurs. Pachyderm (elephants, whales etc) Reptilian (lizards, snakes etc) Cephalapod (the sentient on the planet) Equine (horse, zebra etc) Canine (dog, wolf, jackal etc) Feline (cat, lion, cheetah etc)
Time is an illusion carried by humans (an amalgamation through time defying reproduction of the entirety of the cephalapods work in genesis on the planet earth.) The earliest intelligent animal on the earth was the vampyrapod. A ten tentacled species that landed here somehow flung from some rock or ejaculated by some larger animal. The vampyropods were fed upon by the local life here (trilobytes, bacteria etc) eating two of the tentacles (the mating tentacles (man(woman)) that began the genesis. The ten commandments themselfs biblically are the fossilized representation of one male and one female vampyropods. The ten tentacles arranged in their death explaining a meaning forever.
The 5 areals are where time is encased it is the job of humans to bear the weight of time while cephs continue the genesis.
If you imagine a star shape in which each point is an areal, and between each point is an element, than in the very center you will find salt, sugar, and vinegar (dry). With these base powders water, Nitrogen, And carbon can be formed. The basis of life on earth.
All the genesis of animalia as well as man made items were the creation of the cephs with intention. Mixing of animalia through time and genesis they have destroyed the dinosaurs and shifted them to aviaries. They did this through the tapeworm, an invention that not only makes up the organs of humans, (the intestines, the gallbladder etc) but was weaponized to destroy the dinosaurs en masse in preperation for the genesis plans of the cephs.
Modern octopus only live about 4.5 years and they have mastered the ability to transcend into the next through cannabalism as well as telepathy. They created the first language of enochian (the angels language) through tentacle and eye movements. Through many generations and reincarnations they developed telepathy as well as the ability to travel through time.
On genesis. An actuality has to occur from the cephs in time to create the genesis. Such as a ceph dying, killing. Being eaten. Eating. The laying of hands (tentacles in this case) or the travel through time to accomplish these. For example. A ceph intentionally was eaten by a komodo dragon, while conscious and being digested it telepathically sent the makeup from inside to another ceph. This ceph used that information to create the genesis of the tapeworm that would destroy the dinosaurs. After most reptilians were shifted to aviaries. There were remnants such as thr chameleon who is very fragile, has 2 penises that constnlantly prolapse and the female can hold sperm for years without self inseminating to create birth. If you take a pachyderm like an elephant an ld have it eat of a chameleon, perhaps with some other complicated genesis of elements and areals you will find you have a gnarwal. The main point is that once they mastered tome travel, they have had unlimited time to make use of their ability to create genesis on the planet. Every animal thay is alive today has been manipulated by the cephs to be exactly where it is in time to accommodate for a larger agenda.
Its my belief that there are only 3 unique cephs that survived the early devastation of trilobytes and other life feeding from these aliens. I call them Seth, Jack, and Claire. Seth is known for being cruel. Jack is more logical, Claire is more empathetic. Because they didnt have the gene popl to create offapring effectively they created this ability to utilize genesis to ensure their survival. This is why they are cannabls its because they must be in order to continue. The modern female octopus always feeds of the make after mating. The males always eat of the young ones after birth.
On 'man made' inventions Cephs proliferated through genesis all the tools to create the written word. From sea anemone to sea urchin to porcupine to bird feather, to quill. And you already know where the ink came from. These topls were provided to a banana pig infested with mutated tapeworms in order to solidify the structures of governance over time. Every iteration of every technology was also developed intentionally by the cephs in order to eatablish a relationahip with the digitage that is just now in our perception coming to power.
As a human, i am essentially just a warm blooded version of a ceph. (Make a bird with your hands, where are the beaks?) We exist inside this cage of time and bear its burden. Look at a shark it may sleep but it just keeps swimming. Humans cannot. We have to sleep. Which is close to the realm of death. We as humans are split and carry the weight of strife and love. This is gender and its roles. (This is not a politcal view of genders but a simplification for the idea that governs. Im positive that in infinite time, other genders maybe an option)
We are as a human race looking forward to scientific breakthroughs that happen when cephs accomplish the physical actuations in time that develop to possible situations we experience from that genesis. Such as. By 2027 scientists anticipate returning the wooly mammoth from extinction. It is my belief that we need an actualization of the 6th digit in the mammaths feet in order for a cephs agenda unknown.
Bird eating spiders are example of post genesis cannabalism that triggers another line of genesis to occur such as a poison tree frog or something. I beleive that venomous snakes were made that way because the egg is the fruit that the snake is tempted by. And if it ate of its own eggs it was cursed through genesis to bear the venom. A bovine has 4 stomachs. And udders that resemble somehwhat the tenacles of a ceph. Its my belief that a whale(pachyderm) that has 9 stomachs (the 9 circles of hell) consumed a ceph and in its 4th stomach met the remains of an equine and genesis occured. Resulting in a cud chewing cow. Precious ambergris is essential to perfumes and stimulated the olfactories in way unlike anything else in the world. It cannot be valued it unvaluable. Whales also sing ans produce music. The moder ceph has empirical hearing as well as oldlfactory experiences. Cephs love blueberries. Foe the antioxidants (ita okay its a joke you can laugh ) but really. They do. Modern octopus can be found in the pacific notherwest climbing trees. They dont eat and make their way up the rocky cliffs to the coniferous foilage in order to establish some genesis. That is a real human experience that is documented. They have cralwed in any form across every inch and again and again of this planet. A suction cup on the plastic window of a bill in the mail may have inadvertantly created the floppy disc.
On the macro and the myopic: We live in time where everything occurs simultaniously only on a different scale in a set of repeating patterns that run forwards or backwards in fractalization. Or so to say, the coast goes on forever. With innumurable bits of sand that outnumber the stars in the sky.
Youll find that rapa nui , or easter island is the end of time itself. A graveyard of sorts and a resting ground for the tired cephs who have labored throughout existence to provide the genesis for us to continue in this gestalt of a universe. Its not an end but also a beginning.

100 Magic Items 1. Staff of lesser healing: This staff appears as a quarter staff with a heart shaped ruby on top. The staff can heal for 1d4 hit points. It can do so in three ways 1. If holding the staff 2. If holding the staff and touching another player with your hand. 3. At a range of 25 feet provided the the character holding to staff makes an arcana check of 15. If the arcana check fails it does nothing. The staff has 3 charges and recovers 1d3 charges at dawn.

1. Living Cloak (Requires Attunment): While wearing this cloak you can say the words “Living Cloak” as a bonus action and the cloak comes to life. The cloak has 1d4 hit points and an AC of 15. It can not attack and its main purpose is to give flanks. On your first turn the cloak has a flying movement of 25 feet. On every turn after that it has a flying movement speed of 100 feet. The cloak remains alive for 1 minute or until killed. On death the cloak flys back onto the character.
   
2. Potion of Mind-flayer (1d3): This potion is make from the tentacles of a mind-flayer. When a character consumes the potion it looks just like a Mind-flayer except their size does not change. The creature takes a -3 to Str, Dex, and Con but gains a +5 to Wis, Int, and Cha. The character also gains magic resistance. This potion last 1d4 hours.
   
3. Potion of Troll (1d3): This potion is made from the eyes of a troll. When a character consumes this potion they look just like a troll except their size does not change. The character takes a -3 to Int, Wis, Cha but gains a +5 to Str, Dex, and Con. They also gain dark vision up to 60 feet. This potion last 1d4 hours.
   
4. Forever smoking pipe: This pipe never runs out of pipe-weed and can be light by saying “Smoke” in halfling. You can only use this pipe if you know how to speak halfling. While smoking the pipe you have +5 to all charisma throws with halflings.
   
5. Staff of Webs: This staff appears to be made of rotten wood held together by spiders webs. The user can use the Staff as a bonus action to shoot a spider web in a straight line for 25 feet. It pulls the caster as far as it shoots. It has 1d5 charges and recovers 1d5+1 charges at dawn.
   
6. Staff of Light: This is a white wooden staff with a glass ball at the top. This staff can cast light 1d10 times. If cast overtop of the light cantrip the range changes to 40 feet of bright light and 20 feet of dim light. It recovers 1d10 charges at dawn.
   
7. Wand of Random Cantrips: This is a wand covered in ancient runes. Roll 1d50 and a Random Cantrip is cast. The wand has 1D3 charges and recovers 1d3 charges at dawn.
   
8. Bag of Magic Arrowheads (1D20): This is bag contains arrowheads that slightly glow. A character can try to make +1 arrows with this item. To do so they must make an arcana 13 throw for each arrow. If they fail the arrowhead stops glowing and losses all magical properties. If the character has Magical Tinkers Tools they gain advantage.
   
9. Bag of Hot Stones (1D20) This is a bag of small red stones. They can be used in a sling. They do 1d4 damage bludgeoning as well as 1d4 Fire damage.
   
10. Sack of holding: It appears as a bindle on a stick. The stick is caved with runes and the sack is made from fine silk. Works just as a bag of holding but can only carry 100 LBS and 25 Cubic Feet.
    
11. Ring of Detect Evil (Requires Attunment Cleric, Paladin, Monk): The ring is made of gold with a red crystal inside. When an evil creature is within 100 feet the red crystal glows.
    
12. Magical Sharpening Stone: This stone is made from a blue rock. A character can spend an hour to sharpen a weapon. Do do so they must make an arcana 15 check. A magically sharpened weapon becomes +1 on its first hit. If the attack roll misses it keeps its +1 magical properties. On a hit to weapon losses all its magical properties on the next turn. If the character rolls a natural 1 while sharpening a weapon the stone violently shatters doing 2d4 damage to whoever is using it.
    
13. Sleep Compass: This compass is sliver. It always points in the direction of your last long rest.
    
14. Tracking Compass:This gold compass comes in a small leather case. When removed from the case it allows points back towards the case.
    
15. Magical Sleeping Bag: This sleeping bag is made from owlbear hide that has runes branded into it. When a medium or smaller creature sleeps inside it on a long rest they gain one extra hit die in health back. It takes one turn to get in or out of the sleeping bag.
    
16. Fire Stick: This is a foot long stick of oak wood with runes caved in the side. You can rub your fingers against either end of the stick and it produces a small flame. This flame provides 10 feet of dim light and can be used to catch things on fire.
    
17. Potion of long sight(1d3): This potion is light blue. When a character drinks this potion they can see twice as far as they normally could. This potion last 1d4 hours
    
18. Potion of all sight(1d3): This potion is leaves off a strong glow of white light for 5 feet. When a character drinks this potion they can see under any light conditions. They also cannot be blinded even by magic. This potion last 1d4 hours.
    
19. Highland Cloak (Requires Attunment): This is a wool cloak made of Tartan fabric. It grants +2 to constitution.
    
20. Banner of the Firery Sword: This banner comes in a wooden tube with instructions for its use. The banner depicts a yellow sword with flames on a red background. When the banner is raised all slashing and piercing attacks are at advantage and can do an extra 1d12 fire damage. After a minute the banner erupts into flames consuming it.
    
21. Potion of Goblin(1d3): This potion is made of a goblin’s ears. When a character drinks it they gain +10 to Dex and a -3 to Str, Wis, Cha. They appear as a goblin however their size does not change and they gain dark vision for 60ft. This potion last for 1 hour.
    
22. Music Rocks: These two small rocks are shaped like the inside of an ear. They’re covered in music notes and come in a velvet case. When placed in a character’s ear music starts playing. The character must make a Wisdom 10 save or be deafened for 1d4 minutes. After the deafening wears off they can try the save again. After a successful save they gain advantage to performance throws for an hour. After an hour they must make another Wisdom saving throw. The character can tap the stones with their hand and say out loud the kind of music they wish to play with the stones.
    
23. Bag of Magic Coins: The bag contains 1d4 silver coins. Every day at dawn 1d4 silver coins appear in the bag.
    
24. Horn of Helmor: This is a brass horn with runes on it. When blown make a performance check of 15. If the character is proficient in Horned instruments they have advantage. If successful a Veteran magically. After 5 minutes the Veteran magically vanishes. The horn can be blown once a day.
    
25. Gloves of Animal Handling (Requires Attunment Druid, Ranger, Fighter) These are leather gloves that fit only a medium sized character. When worn they grant a +5 to Animal Handling.
    
26. Magic Hat (Requires Attunment Wizard, Sorcerer, Warlock) This hat once belonged to a powerful Wizard. When wearing this hat you gain a +5 to Arcana.
    
27. Magical Tinkering Tools: These tools allow you to tinker with magical items.
    
28. Mountaineers Arrows (1d20): These arrows when shot produce a magical rope behind them. The rope cannot be cut by non-magical means. The arrows sticks into the ground using magic and can hold 1000 pounds of weight. After an hour the rope dissolves into dust and the arrow loses all magical properties.
    
29. Cavaliers Horn: This is a silver horn with runes on it. When blown make a performance check of 15. If the character is proficient in horned instruments they have advantage. If successful a white riding horse magically. After an hour the riding horse magically vanishes. The horn can be blown once a day.
    
30. Blood Dagger: This is a dagger covered in blood. No matter how hard the character tries to clean it the blood always comes back. When attacking with this dagger if you roll a 20 it also does 1d4 necrodic damage. You heal the amount of damage taken on this roll.
    
31. Fire Dagger: This dagger is always warm to the touch. If you roll a 20 it does an extra 1d8 fire damage but if you roll a 1 you take 1d4 fire damage.
    
32. Ice Dagger: This dagger is cold to the touch. If you roll a 20 it does an extra 1d8 cold damage but if you roll a 1 you’re frozen in place and Incapacitated for 1d4 turns.
    
33. Acid Dagger: This dagger is covered in corrosive metal. When attacking it has a 1d4 chance to have a -1 to damage. If you roll a 20 it does 1d10 extra acid damage.
    
34. Lightning Dagger: This dagger gives a tingling sensation when being held. In order to not drop it you have to make a Constitution 7 save. If you roll a 20 it does an extra 1d10 lightning damage.
    
35. Magical Cornucopia: This appears to be a normal cornucopia. However each day it produces enough food to feed 1d4 people.
    
36. Fishing Rod of Morn: When making a survival check to catch fish you have a +5.
    
37. Portable Raft: This is a small wooden carving of a raft. When you speak the words “Float” while looking at the carving it enlarges into a raft that can hold 500 Lbs. When looking at the raft and you say “Carving” it shrinks back into the small carving.
    
38. Lucky Clover (Requires Attunment): This is a small golden four leaf clover. While attuned to this item a character can reroll any skill check once a day.
    
39. Lucky Scabbard (Requires Attunment): This is a Scabbard made of gold and silver. It can fit a Shortsword, Longsword, Greatsword, Rapier or Scimitar. At the beginning of the day the character must chose a weapon to put in the scabbard. 1d4 times a day the character can reroll to hit with that weapon.
    
40. Lucky Quiver (Requires Attunment): This quiver is made of gold and silver. This quiver can hold Arrows or Crossbow Bolts. At the beginning of the day the character must choose what ammunition to put in the quiver. 1d4 times a day the character can reroll to hit with any weapon that takes that kind of ammunition.
    
41. Lucky Ammunition Pouch (Requires Attunment): This pouch is made of fine black silk and is pulled shut by gold strings. This pouch can hold either Blowgun Neddles, Sling Bullets, or Darts. At the beginning of the day the character must choose what ammunition to put in the pouch. 1d4 times a day the character can reroll to hit with any weapon that takes that ammunition.
    
42. Crystal of the Heart. (Requires Attunment) This small heart shaped red crystal gives you advantage on Insight checks.
    
43. Adventurers Boots (Requires Attunment): These boots give you advantage on savings throws against exhaustion while doing a Forced March.
    
44. Thieves Boots (Requires Attunment): These boots give a +5 to stealth checks.
    
45. Thieves Gloves (Requires Attunment): These gloves give a +5 to Sleight of Hand checks.
    
46. Boots of Jumping (Requires Attunment): These boots allow you to jump twice as high.
    
47. Bag of Waterproof : This blue 3x3 foot bag has a zipper on it. When closed any items inside remain completely dry even if completely immersed in water. The bag always floats as long as there is only 100 LBS in it.
    
48. Trusty Boots (Requires Attunment): You are not effected by difficult terrain
    
49. Barbarians Helmet (Requires Attunment): This helmet is made of iron and has two horns sticking out the top. This helmet allows you to rage once a day as if you were a 1st level barbarian. If you are a barbarian already you can rage one more time and do one more point of damage on this rage.
    
50. Scholars Robes (Requires Attunment): These robes are made of ancient fabrics. While wearing them you gain +5 to History checks.
    
51. Holy Crucifix: This item is made of Wood and Gold. Once a day the Crucifix can be held up. When this is done all undead within 100 feet run away. Every turn they start within 25 feet of the Crucifix they take 1d4 damage. The effects of the Crucifix last for 1d4 minutes.
    
52. Potion of Wildshape (1d3): This potion is dark green color. When you drink this potion you transform into a random CR:1 Beast. The effects last for 1d4 hours. If you die as the beast you return to the amount of HP you had when you drank the potion.
    
53. Potion of Good Looks: This potion is white skin colored. When you drink this potion you gain +5 to Charisma. The potion last for 1 hour.
    
54. Net of Restraint: This net can be thrown on a Small or Medium creature. The net automatically flys onto any target of the characters choice within 50 feet. The creature must make a Dexterity 15 save or be restrained for 1d4 turns. After the net is thrown it becomes magically tangled up. It’s becomes untangled the next day at dawn.
    
55. Horn of the Grave: This is a bone horn with runes on it. When blown make a performance check of 15. If the character is proficient in Horned instruments they have advantage. If successful a 1d3 Skeletons magically appear to help you. After 5 minutes the Skeletons magically vanishes. The horn can be blown once a day.
    
56. Horn of the Undead: This is a rotten wood horn with runes on it. When blown make a performance check of 15. If the character is proficient in Horned instruments they have advantage. If successful 1d3 Zombies magically appear to help you. After 5 minutes the Zombies magically vanishes. The horn can be blown once a day.
    
57. Rune of Instant Damage (1d2): This is a smooth rock about the size of your hand. When you raise it it does 2d20+10 damage instantly. After you raise it the rune crumbles to dust.
    
58. Book of Cantrip Knowledge: This is a leather bound book containing all the cantrips. A character can spend 1 hour studying the book. After doing so they learn one Cantrip from any class. After that the book magically vanishes. In order to cast this Cantrip they must make an Arcana 15 check.
    
59. Magical Scroll Case: This scroll case is made of wood that is cover in leather. The leather has runes branded into it. At the beginning of each day a scroll appears with a random level 1 spell. If the scroll is not used that day it magically vanishes. These scrolls can not be sold and if attempted magically vanish.
    
60. Scroll of ableism: This scroll can raise or lower an ability score at random. The character that reads this scroll picks an ability score. Then they roll 1d4. The effects are permanent. 1:-2 2:-1 3:+1 4:+2
    
61. Book of Halfling Culture: This book has a cover made of beautiful flowers. A character can spend an hour studying it. Afterwards they learn Halfling language and get advantage on all charisma throws against Halflings.
    
62. Book of Elven Culture: This book has a cover made of wood. A character can spend an hour studying it. Afterwards they learn Elven language and get advantage on all charisma throws against Elves and Half-Elves.
    
63. Book of Dwarven Culture: This book has a cover made of stone. A character can spend an hour studying it. Afterwards they learn Dwarven language and get advantage on all charisma throws against Dwarves.
    
64. Book of Goblin Culture: This book has a cover made of crudely tanned animal hide. A character can spend an hour studying it. Afterwards they learn Goblin language and get advantage on all charisma throws against Goblins.
    
65. Book of Draconic Culture: This book has a cover made of dragon scales. A character can spend an hour studying it. Afterwards they learn Draconic language and get advantage on all charisma throws against Dragons and Dragonborn.
    
66. Book of Gnome Culture: This book has a cover made of gears. A character can spend an hour studying it. Afterwards they learn Gnome language and get advantage on all charisma throws against Gnomes.
    
67. Book of Orc Culture: This book has a cover made of black hair. A character can spend an hour studying it. Afterwards they learn Orc language and get advantage on all charisma throws against Orcs and Half Orcs.
    
68. Book of Underdark Culture: This book has a cover made of brains. A character can spend an hour studying it. Afterwards they learn Deep Speach, Gith and Undercommon language and get advantage on all charisma throws against Gith and Aberrations.
    
69. Book of Hellish Culture: This book has a cover made of brimstone. A character can spend an hour studying it. Afterwards they learn Abyssal and Infernal language and get advantage on all charisma throws against Tieflings, Demons, and Devils.
    
70. Book of Ocean Culture: This book has a cover made of sea shells. A character can spend an hour studying it. Afterwards they learn Aquan language and get advantage on all charisma throws against all other Aquan speakers.
    
71. Book of Giant Culture: This book has a cover made of Granite. A character can spend an hour studying it. Afterwards they learn Giant language and get advantage on all charisma throws against Giants and Orges.
    
72. Book of Heavenly Culture: This book has a cover made of white marble. A character can spend an hour studying it. Afterwards they learn Celestial language and get advantage on all charisma throws against Clerics.
    
73. Book of Nature Cultures: This book has a cover made of Leaves. A character can spend an hour studying it. Afterwards they learn Druid and Gnoll language and get advantage on all charisma throws against Gnolls and Druids.
    
74. Book of Fire Culture: This book has a cover made of obsidian. A character can spend an hour studying it. Afterwards they learn Ignan language and get advantage on all charisma throws against all Ignan speakers.
    
75. Book of Sky Culture: This book has a cover made of glass. A character can spend an hour studying it. Afterwards they learn Auran language and get advantage on all charisma throws against all creatures that speak Auran.
    
76. Book of Ground Culture: This book has a cover made of clay. A character can spend an hour studying it. Afterwards they learn Terran language and get advantage on all charisma throws against all Terran speakers.
    
77. Book of Fay Culture: This book has a cover made of grass. A character can spend an hour studying it. Afterwards they learn Sylvan language and get advantage on all charisma throws against Fey.
    
78. Box of Illusions: This appears as a small metal box with a crystal inside. When the box is opened the character must make an Arcana check of 15. If successfully the illusion of any small creature of the characters choice appears right above the box.
    
79. Potion of Inner Strength (1d3): This potion is a dark red color. When drank the character gains +5 to Strength. This potion last 1d4 hours.
    
80. Rainbow Quill: This is a Quill that has a rainbow pattern in the feathering. It never runs out of ink and writes in rainbow colored ink.
    
81. Wand Kit (1d3): This is a kit for making magical wands. A character can use the kit to imbue the wand with any level 1 spell they know. Doing so takes 3 hours and an arcana 15 check. Any wands made have 1d4 charges.
    
82. Wand of Tame Animal: This wand is made of beech wood. When this wand is used any beast CR:1/4 or lower is tamed. Has 1d4 charges.
    
83. Cloak of Magical Warmth (Requires Attunment): This cloak is made of a thick wool and is warm to the touch. It gives you +5 to saving throws against cold and 1d4 chance of resistance to cold damage.
    
84. Cloak of Heat Resistance (Requires Attunment): This cloak is made of thin fibers and is cool to the touch. It gives you +5 to saving throws against fire and 1d4 chance of resistance to fire damage.
    
85. Ring of Detect Magic (Requires Attunment Wizard, Sorcerer, Warlock): This ring is made of silver with a blue crystal in it. When the ring is within 10 feet of magic the blue crystal glows.
    
86. Portable Tent: This item appears as a simple piece of fabric 1x1 feet. When looking at the fabric and the word “Enlarge” it forms a full size tent big enough for 4 people. When looking at the tent and saying the word “collapse” it collapses back down to a 1x1 foot piece of fabric.
    
87. The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch: A golden hand grenade with a cross on top. First thou shall take out the holy pin. Then shall thou count to three. No more no less. Three shall be the number thou shall count and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shall thou not count, neither count thou two. Excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number be reached, then lobest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch toward thy foe. Who being not in my sight shall snuff it. Range 25 feet. Must make an Intelligence save of 10 to use it or it blows up in the characters hand. 1d100 damage all creatures in a 15 foot radius.
    
88. Box of Rotten Cheese: This box is made of wood and contains a large chunk of stinky cheese. The box can be opened once a day. When the box is opened the character must make a Constitution 15 save and 1d3 Swarms of Rats come to the characters aid. If the Constitution save is failed they take 1d4 damage and are poisoned for 1d4 rounds.
    
89. Book of Lore: This book gives you a +10 to history roles related to identifying monsters.
    
90. Book of Nature: This book gives you a +10 to nature rolls related to identifying monsters.
    
91. Book of Peoples: This book gives you a +10 to investigation rolls related to Identifying monsters.
    
92. Book of Arcana: This book gives you a +10 to Arcana rolls related to Identifying monsters.
    
93. Normalcy Gloves: These leather gloves are covered in runes. While wearing these gloves you can hold hot, cold, electric, or acid objects that would normally deal damage to you.
    
94. Refilling Vile of Poison: This vile has 1d3 doses of basic poison in it. Every morning at dawn 1d3 doses are restored to it.
    
95. Bell of Alarm: This small golden bell makes a loud ringing noise when rung. The sound can be used as a signal for up to a mile.
    
96. Bag of many Potions: This Bag is perfectly shaped to hold a singular potion flask made of silver. Every day at dawn one of the following potions are in the flask. Potion of Healing, Potion of Climbing, or Potion of Water-breathing. Roll 1d3 to determine what random potion you get.
    
97. Brewing Stand: This is a set of Alchemical tools specially designed for making potions. If used in combination with Alchemist tools you get advantage when rolling to make potions. You must find or experiment to discover potion recipes.
    
98. Magic Map (1d4): This appears as a simple piece of parchment. However when you rub your hand against it a map of 100x100 feet appears centered around you.
    
99. Potion of Frost (1d3): This potion can be thrown 30 feet. The creature this potion is thrown at must make a Dexterity 15 save or be frozen in place for 1d4 turns. While frozen in place the creature is incapacitated.
    

(Edit: Fixed formatting)

Here are some homebrew magical starting items. Plan on letting my players get 1 each at random for the beginning of my homebrew campaign.
100 Magic Items 1. Staff of lesser healing: This staff appears as a quarter staff with a heart shaped ruby on top. The staff can heal for 1d4 hit points. It can do so in three ways 1. If holding the staff 2. If holding the staff and touching another player with your hand. 3. At a range of 25 feet provided the the character holding to staff makes an arcana check of 15. If the arcana check fails it does nothing. The staff has 3 charges and recovers 1d3 charges at dawn.

1. Living Cloak (Requires Attunment): While wearing this cloak you can say the words “Living Cloak” as a bonus action and the cloak comes to life. The cloak has 1d4 hit points and an AC of 15. It can not attack and its main purpose is to give flanks. On your first turn the cloak has a flying movement of 25 feet. On every turn after that it has a flying movement speed of 100 feet. The cloak remains alive for 1 minute or until killed. On death the cloak flys back onto the character.
   
2. Potion of Mind-flayer (1d3): This potion is make from the tentacles of a mind-flayer. When a character consumes the potion it looks just like a Mind-flayer except their size does not change. The creature takes a -3 to Str, Dex, and Con but gains a +5 to Wis, Int, and Cha. The character also gains magic resistance. This potion last 1d4 hours.
   
3. Potion of Troll (1d3): This potion is made from the eyes of a troll. When a character consumes this potion they look just like a troll except their size does not change. The character takes a -3 to Int, Wis, Cha but gains a +5 to Str, Dex, and Con. They also gain dark vision up to 60 feet. This potion last 1d4 hours.
   
4. Forever smoking pipe: This pipe never runs out of pipe-weed and can be light by saying “Smoke” in halfling. You can only use this pipe if you know how to speak halfling. While smoking the pipe you have +5 to all charisma throws with halflings.
   
5. Staff of Webs: This staff appears to be made of rotten wood held together by spiders webs. The user can use the Staff as a bonus action to shoot a spider web in a straight line for 25 feet. It pulls the caster as far as it shoots. It has 1d5 charges and recovers 1d5+1 charges at dawn.
   
6. Staff of Light: This is a white wooden staff with a glass ball at the top. This staff can cast light 1d10 times. If cast overtop of the light cantrip the range changes to 40 feet of bright light and 20 feet of dim light. It recovers 1d10 charges at dawn.
   
7. Wand of Random Cantrips: This is a wand covered in ancient runes. Roll 1d50 and a Random Cantrip is cast. The wand has 1D3 charges and recovers 1d3 charges at dawn.
   
8. Bag of Magic Arrowheads (1D20): This is bag contains arrowheads that slightly glow. A character can try to make +1 arrows with this item. To do so they must make an arcana 13 throw for each arrow. If they fail the arrowhead stops glowing and losses all magical properties. If the character has Magical Tinkers Tools they gain advantage.
   
9. Bag of Hot Stones (1D20) This is a bag of small red stones. They can be used in a sling. They do 1d4 damage bludgeoning as well as 1d4 Fire damage.
   
10. Sack of holding: It appears as a bindle on a stick. The stick is caved with runes and the sack is made from fine silk. Works just as a bag of holding but can only carry 100 LBS and 25 Cubic Feet.
    
11. Ring of Detect Evil (Requires Attunment Cleric, Paladin, Monk): The ring is made of gold with a red crystal inside. When an evil creature is within 100 feet the red crystal glows.
    
12. Magical Sharpening Stone: This stone is made from a blue rock. A character can spend an hour to sharpen a weapon. Do do so they must make an arcana 15 check. A magically sharpened weapon becomes +1 on its first hit. If the attack roll misses it keeps its +1 magical properties. On a hit to weapon losses all its magical properties on the next turn. If the character rolls a natural 1 while sharpening a weapon the stone violently shatters doing 2d4 damage to whoever is using it.
    
13. Sleep Compass: This compass is sliver. It always points in the direction of your last long rest.
    
14. Tracking Compass:This gold compass comes in a small leather case. When removed from the case it allows points back towards the case.
    
15. Magical Sleeping Bag: This sleeping bag is made from owlbear hide that has runes branded into it. When a medium or smaller creature sleeps inside it on a long rest they gain one extra hit die in health back. It takes one turn to get in or out of the sleeping bag.
    
16. Fire Stick: This is a foot long stick of oak wood with runes caved in the side. You can rub your fingers against either end of the stick and it produces a small flame. This flame provides 10 feet of dim light and can be used to catch things on fire.
    
17. Potion of long sight(1d3): This potion is light blue. When a character drinks this potion they can see twice as far as they normally could. This potion last 1d4 hours
    
18. Potion of all sight(1d3): This potion is leaves off a strong glow of white light for 5 feet. When a character drinks this potion they can see under any light conditions. They also cannot be blinded even by magic. This potion last 1d4 hours.
    
19. Highland Cloak (Requires Attunment): This is a wool cloak made of Tartan fabric. It grants +2 to constitution.
    
20. Banner of the Firery Sword: This banner comes in a wooden tube with instructions for its use. The banner depicts a yellow sword with flames on a red background. When the banner is raised all slashing and piercing attacks are at advantage and can do an extra 1d12 fire damage. After a minute the banner erupts into flames consuming it.
    
21. Potion of Goblin(1d3): This potion is made of a goblin’s ears. When a character drinks it they gain +10 to Dex and a -3 to Str, Wis, Cha. They appear as a goblin however their size does not change and they gain dark vision for 60ft. This potion last for 1 hour.
    
22. Music Rocks: These two small rocks are shaped like the inside of an ear. They’re covered in music notes and come in a velvet case. When placed in a character’s ear music starts playing. The character must make a Wisdom 10 save or be deafened for 1d4 minutes. After the deafening wears off they can try the save again. After a successful save they gain advantage to performance throws for an hour. After an hour they must make another Wisdom saving throw. The character can tap the stones with their hand and say out loud the kind of music they wish to play with the stones.
    
23. Bag of Magic Coins: The bag contains 1d4 silver coins. Every day at dawn 1d4 silver coins appear in the bag.
    
24. Horn of Helmor: This is a brass horn with runes on it. When blown make a performance check of 15. If the character is proficient in Horned instruments they have advantage. If successful a Veteran magically. After 5 minutes the Veteran magically vanishes. The horn can be blown once a day.
    
25. Gloves of Animal Handling (Requires Attunment Druid, Ranger, Fighter) These are leather gloves that fit only a medium sized character. When worn they grant a +5 to Animal Handling.
    
26. Magic Hat (Requires Attunment Wizard, Sorcerer, Warlock) This hat once belonged to a powerful Wizard. When wearing this hat you gain a +5 to Arcana.
    
27. Magical Tinkering Tools: These tools allow you to tinker with magical items.
    
28. Mountaineers Arrows (1d20): These arrows when shot produce a magical rope behind them. The rope cannot be cut by non-magical means. The arrows sticks into the ground using magic and can hold 1000 pounds of weight. After an hour the rope dissolves into dust and the arrow loses all magical properties.
    
29. Cavaliers Horn: This is a silver horn with runes on it. When blown make a performance check of 15. If the character is proficient in horned instruments they have advantage. If successful a white riding horse magically. After an hour the riding horse magically vanishes. The horn can be blown once a day.
    
30. Blood Dagger: This is a dagger covered in blood. No matter how hard the character tries to clean it the blood always comes back. When attacking with this dagger if you roll a 20 it also does 1d4 necrodic damage. You heal the amount of damage taken on this roll.
    
31. Fire Dagger: This dagger is always warm to the touch. If you roll a 20 it does an extra 1d8 fire damage but if you roll a 1 you take 1d4 fire damage.
    
32. Ice Dagger: This dagger is cold to the touch. If you roll a 20 it does an extra 1d8 cold damage but if you roll a 1 you’re frozen in place and Incapacitated for 1d4 turns.
    
33. Acid Dagger: This dagger is covered in corrosive metal. When attacking it has a 1d4 chance to have a -1 to damage. If you roll a 20 it does 1d10 extra acid damage.
    
34. Lightning Dagger: This dagger gives a tingling sensation when being held. In order to not drop it you have to make a Constitution 7 save. If you roll a 20 it does an extra 1d10 lightning damage.
    
35. Magical Cornucopia: This appears to be a normal cornucopia. However each day it produces enough food to feed 1d4 people.
    
36. Fishing Rod of Morn: When making a survival check to catch fish you have a +5.
    
37. Portable Raft: This is a small wooden carving of a raft. When you speak the words “Float” while looking at the carving it enlarges into a raft that can hold 500 Lbs. When looking at the raft and you say “Carving” it shrinks back into the small carving.
    
38. Lucky Clover (Requires Attunment): This is a small golden four leaf clover. While attuned to this item a character can reroll any skill check once a day.
    
39. Lucky Scabbard (Requires Attunment): This is a Scabbard made of gold and silver. It can fit a Shortsword, Longsword, Greatsword, Rapier or Scimitar. At the beginning of the day the character must chose a weapon to put in the scabbard. 1d4 times a day the character can reroll to hit with that weapon.
    
40. Lucky Quiver (Requires Attunment): This quiver is made of gold and silver. This quiver can hold Arrows or Crossbow Bolts. At the beginning of the day the character must choose what ammunition to put in the quiver. 1d4 times a day the character can reroll to hit with any weapon that takes that kind of ammunition.
    
41. Lucky Ammunition Pouch (Requires Attunment): This pouch is made of fine black silk and is pulled shut by gold strings. This pouch can hold either Blowgun Neddles, Sling Bullets, or Darts. At the beginning of the day the character must choose what ammunition to put in the pouch. 1d4 times a day the character can reroll to hit with any weapon that takes that ammunition.
    
42. Crystal of the Heart. (Requires Attunment) This small heart shaped red crystal gives you advantage on Insight checks.
    
43. Adventurers Boots (Requires Attunment): These boots give you advantage on savings throws against exhaustion while doing a Forced March.
    
44. Thieves Boots (Requires Attunment): These boots give a +5 to stealth checks.
    
45. Thieves Gloves (Requires Attunment): These gloves give a +5 to Sleight of Hand checks.
    
46. Boots of Jumping (Requires Attunment): These boots allow you to jump twice as high.
    
47. Bag of Waterproof : This blue 3x3 foot bag has a zipper on it. When closed any items inside remain completely dry even if completely immersed in water. The bag always floats as long as there is only 100 LBS in it.
    
48. Trusty Boots (Requires Attunment): You are not effected by difficult terrain
    
49. Barbarians Helmet (Requires Attunment): This helmet is made of iron and has two horns sticking out the top. This helmet allows you to rage once a day as if you were a 1st level barbarian. If you are a barbarian already you can rage one more time and do one more point of damage on this rage.
    
50. Scholars Robes (Requires Attunment): These robes are made of ancient fabrics. While wearing them you gain +5 to History checks.
    
51. Holy Crucifix: This item is made of Wood and Gold. Once a day the Crucifix can be held up. When this is done all undead within 100 feet run away. Every turn they start within 25 feet of the Crucifix they take 1d4 damage. The effects of the Crucifix last for 1d4 minutes.
    
52. Potion of Wildshape (1d3): This potion is dark green color. When you drink this potion you transform into a random CR:1 Beast. The effects last for 1d4 hours. If you die as the beast you return to the amount of HP you had when you drank the potion.
    
53. Potion of Good Looks: This potion is white skin colored. When you drink this potion you gain +5 to Charisma. The potion last for 1 hour.
    
54. Net of Restraint: This net can be thrown on a Small or Medium creature. The net automatically flys onto any target of the characters choice within 50 feet. The creature must make a Dexterity 15 save or be restrained for 1d4 turns. After the net is thrown it becomes magically tangled up. It’s becomes untangled the next day at dawn.
    
55. Horn of the Grave: This is a bone horn with runes on it. When blown make a performance check of 15. If the character is proficient in Horned instruments they have advantage. If successful a 1d3 Skeletons magically appear to help you. After 5 minutes the Skeletons magically vanishes. The horn can be blown once a day.
    
56. Horn of the Undead: This is a rotten wood horn with runes on it. When blown make a performance check of 15. If the character is proficient in Horned instruments they have advantage. If successful 1d3 Zombies magically appear to help you. After 5 minutes the Zombies magically vanishes. The horn can be blown once a day.
    
57. Rune of Instant Damage: This is a smooth rock about the size of your hand. When you raise it it does 2d20+10 damage instantly. After you raise it the rune crumbles to dust.
    
58. Book of Cantrip Knowledge: This is a leather bound book containing all the cantrips. A character can spend 1 hour studying the book. After doing so they learn one Cantrip from any class. After that the book magically vanishes. In order to cast this Cantrip they must make an Arcana 15 check.
    
59. Magical Scroll Case: This scroll case is made of wood that is cover in leather. The leather has runes branded into it. At the beginning of each day a scroll appears with a random level 1 spell. If the scroll is not used that day it magically vanishes. These scrolls can not be sold and if attempted magically vanish.
    
60. Scroll of ableism: This scroll can raise or lower an ability score at random. The character that reads this scroll picks an ability score. Then they roll 1d4. The effects are permanent. 1:-2 2:-1 3:+1 4:+2
    
61. Book of Halfling Culture: This book has a cover made of beautiful flowers. A character can spend an hour studying it. Afterwards they learn Halfling language and get advantage on all charisma throws against Halflings.
    
62. Book of Elven Culture: This book has a cover made of wood. A character can spend an hour studying it. Afterwards they learn Elven language and get advantage on all charisma throws against Elves and Half-Elves.
    
63. Book of Dwarven Culture: This book has a cover made of stone. A character can spend an hour studying it. Afterwards they learn Dwarven language and get advantage on all charisma throws against Dwarves.
    
64. Book of Goblin Culture: This book has a cover made of crudely tanned animal hide. A character can spend an hour studying it. Afterwards they learn Goblin language and get advantage on all charisma throws against Goblins.
    
65. Book of Draconic Culture: This book has a cover made of dragon scales. A character can spend an hour studying it. Afterwards they learn Draconic language and get advantage on all charisma throws against Dragons and Dragonborn.
    
66. Book of Gnome Culture: This book has a cover made of gears. A character can spend an hour studying it. Afterwards they learn Gnome language and get advantage on all charisma throws against Gnomes.
    
67. Book of Orc Culture: This book has a cover made of black hair. A character can spend an hour studying it. Afterwards they learn Orc language and get advantage on all charisma throws against Orcs and Half Orcs.
    
68. Book of Underdark Culture: This book has a cover made of brains. A character can spend an hour studying it. Afterwards they learn Deep Speach, Gith and Undercommon language and get advantage on all charisma throws against Gith and Aberrations.
    
69. Book of Hellish Culture: This book has a cover made of brimstone. A character can spend an hour studying it. Afterwards they learn Abyssal and Infernal language and get advantage on all charisma throws against Tieflings, Demons, and Devils.
    
70. Book of Ocean Culture: This book has a cover made of sea shells. A character can spend an hour studying it. Afterwards they learn Aquan language and get advantage on all charisma throws against all other Aquan speakers.
    
71. Book of Giant Culture: This book has a cover made of Granite. A character can spend an hour studying it. Afterwards they learn Giant language and get advantage on all charisma throws against Giants and Orges.
    
72. Book of Heavenly Culture: This book has a cover made of white marble. A character can spend an hour studying it. Afterwards they learn Celestial language and get advantage on all charisma throws against Clerics.
    
73. Book of Nature Cultures: This book has a cover made of Leaves. A character can spend an hour studying it. Afterwards they learn Druid and Gnoll language and get advantage on all charisma throws against Gnolls and Druids.
    
74. Book of Fire Culture: This book has a cover made of obsidian. A character can spend an hour studying it. Afterwards they learn Ignan language and get advantage on all charisma throws against all Ignan speakers.
    
75. Book of Sky Culture: This book has a cover made of glass. A character can spend an hour studying it. Afterwards they learn Auran language and get advantage on all charisma throws against all creatures that speak Auran.
    
76. Book of Ground Culture: This book has a cover made of clay. A character can spend an hour studying it. Afterwards they learn Terran language and get advantage on all charisma throws against all Terran speakers.
    
77. Book of Fay Culture: This book has a cover made of grass. A character can spend an hour studying it. Afterwards they learn Sylvan language and get advantage on all charisma throws against Fey.
    
78. Box of Illusions: This appears as a small metal box with a crystal inside. When the box is opened the character must make an Arcana check of 15. If successfully the illusion of any small creature of the characters choice appears right above the box.
    
79. Potion of Inner Strength (1d3): This potion is a dark red color. When drank the character gains +5 to Strength. This potion last 1d4 hours.
    
80. Rainbow Quill: This is a Quill that has a rainbow pattern in the feathering. It never runs out of ink and writes in rainbow colored ink.
    
81. Wand Kit (1d3): This is a kit for making magical wands. A character can use the kit to imbue the wand with any level 1 spell they know. Doing so takes 3 hours and an arcana 15 check. Any wands made have 1d4 charges.
    
82. Wand of Tame Animal: This wand is made of beech wood. When this wand is used any beast CR:1/4 or lower is tamed. Has 1d4 charges.
    
83. Cloak of Magical Warmth (Requires Attunment): This cloak is made of a thick wool and is warm to the touch. It gives you +5 to saving throws against cold and 1d4 chance of resistance to cold damage.
    
84. Cloak of Heat Resistance (Requires Attunment): This cloak is made of thin fibers and is cool to the touch. It gives you +5 to saving throws against fire and 1d4 chance of resistance to fire damage.
    
85. Ring of Detect Magic (Requires Attunment Wizard, Sorcerer, Warlock): This ring is made of silver with a blue crystal in it. When the ring is within 10 feet of magic the blue crystal glows.
    
86. Portable Tent: This item appears as a simple piece of fabric 1x1 feet. When looking at the fabric and the word “Enlarge” it forms a full size tent big enough for 4 people. When looking at the tent and saying the word “collapse” it collapses back down to a 1x1 foot piece of fabric.
    
87. The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch: A golden hand grenade with a cross on top. First thou shall take out the holy pin. Then shall thou count to three. No more no less. Three shall be the number thou shall count and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shall thou not count, neither count thou two. Excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number be reached, then lobest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch toward thy foe. Who being not in my sight shall snuff it. Range 25 feet. Must make an Intelligence save of 10 to use it or it blows up in the characters hand. 1d100 damage all creatures in a 15 foot radius.
    
88. Box of Rotten Cheese: This box is made of wood and contains a large chunk of stinky cheese. The box can be opened once a day. When the box is opened the character must make a Constitution 15 save and 1d3 Swarms of Rats come to the characters aid. If the Constitution save is failed they take 1d4 damage and are poisoned for 1d4 rounds.
    
89. Book of Lore: This book gives you a +10 to history roles related to identifying monsters.
    
90. Book of Nature: This book gives you a +10 to nature rolls related to identifying monsters.
    
91. Book of Peoples: This book gives you a +10 to investigation rolls related to Identifying monsters.
    
92. Book of Arcana: This book gives you a +10 to Arcana rolls related to Identifying monsters.
    
93. Normalcy Gloves: These leather gloves are covered in runes. While wearing these gloves you can hold hot, cold, electric, or acid objects that would normally deal damage to you.
    
94. Refilling Vile of Poison: This vile has 1d3 doses of basic poison in it. Every morning at dawn 1d3 doses are restored to it.
    
95. Bell of Alarm: This small golden bell makes a loud ringing noise when rung. The sound can be used as a signal for up to a mile.
    
96. Bag of many Potions: This Bag is perfectly shaped to hold a singular potion flask made of silver. Every day at dawn one of the following potions are in the flask. Potion of Healing, Potion of Climbing, or Potion of Water-breathing. Roll 1d3 to determine what random potion you get.
    
97. Brewing Stand: This is a set of Alchemical tools specially designed for making potions. If used in combination with Alchemist tools you get advantage when rolling to make potions. You must find or experiment to discover potion recipes.
    
98. Magic Map (1d4): This appears as a simple piece of parchment. However when you rub your hand against it a map of 100x100 feet appears centered around you.
    
99. Potion of Frost (1d3): This potion can be thrown 30 feet. The creature this potion is thrown at must make a Dexterity 15 save or be frozen in place for 1d4 turns. While frozen in place the creature is incapacitated.
    

(Edit: Fixed Formatting)

Silver Sonic, also known as Mecha Sonic, is a character that appears in the Sonic the Hedgehog series. It is one of the multiple robots based on Sonic the Hedgehog, built by Dr. Eggman.
First appearing in the game, Sonic the Hedgehog 2, Mecha Sonic was created by Dr. Eggman, then called "Dr. Robotnik", as one of his five Master Robots sent to eliminate Sonic, while the villain held the hedgehog's friend, Tails, prisoner. At some point, he came into possession of a Chaos Emerald. Mecha Sonic eventually encountered Sonic in Scrambled Egg Zone. After a hard-fought battle between the hedgehog and his robot duplicate, the machine was destroyed. From Mecha Sonic's remains, Sonic also claimed the final Chaos Emerald he needed to save Tails.
Silver Sonic possesses jet-feet which enable him to fly, though he only uses these to enter and does not use them during the fight, for unknown reasons. He also possesses a jet in his back which he can use to propel himself forward at high speeds. Silver Sonic can curl into a ball and do the Spin Dash like his organic counterpart, with his sharp blades functioning like Sonic’s quills. He can also jump while in ball form and attack by firing eight of his blades in different directions. After eight hits, Silver Sonic exploded. In Sonic Mania, and its expansion Sonic Mania Plus, smaller, mass-produced Silver Sonics with a different design appear as Badniks that aid Metal Sonic during the main boss fight in Stardust Speedway Zone Act 2. During the first phase of this fight, Metal Sonic will jack himself into a large machine which resembles Eggman, which will create a Silver Sonic. Unlike its original encounter, this Silver Sonic can be destroyed with one hit and will release a captured Animal upon defeat. If the Silver Sonic is defeated however, Metal Sonic will simply dispense another to take his place.
During battle, the Silver Sonic can utilize three different attacks: he will either attack the playable character with a Spin Dash, perform a melee attack by extending his arms and using his claws to attack the playable characters, or dash forward using his jet feet until he hits the screen's edge. When revving up or performing the Spin Dash though, the player can bounce into Silver Sonic with a Spin Attack, Spin Jump, or Spin Dash, causing him to ricochet off the walls and damage Metal Sonic if they come into contact. In the version 1.04 patch for Sonic Mania released along with Sonic Mania Plus, Silver Sonic, when destroyed, will release four energy orbs in an "X" shape pattern that can also be used to damage Metal Sonic.
Silver Sonic has also made several appearances in the Archie comic series, both before and after the reboot. Before the reboot, three versions of Silver Sonic were built to fight Sonic: version 1.0, 2.0, and 3.0. Versions 1.0 and 3.0 resembled Silver Sonic’s original design, though 3,0 was much larger. Version 2.0 possessed noticeable differences, such as a mouth, and red-and-yellow eyes with a web-like pattern on them. There were also three versions of Silver Sonic after the reboot, two in the past and one in the present. The first resembled a blockier version of Silver Sonic’s original design, the second was identical to his second design, and the modern version resembled a larger version of his original design, much like the third Silver Sonic from the pre-reboot timeline.
Silver Sonic (in his second design) has also appeared in IDW’s Sonic the Hedgehog 30th Anniversary Special, joining Dr. Eggman and other Badniks in attacking an unsuspecting village.
To read more about Silver Sonic, read our article here: https://sonic.fandom.com/wiki/Mecha_Sonic_(Sonic_the_Hedgehog_2)_(8-bit)
This post was written by Fandom user Sonic Fan J527 and posted by SilverPlays97.

...I knew you when Our common goal was waiting for the world to end.
Yeah, couldn't resist the reference to "Black Sheep" by Metric. Or to Scott Pilgrim, maybe.
Anyway! This is another longish one, and a bit of a culmination of David's miniature paranoia arc. We'll be back to cozy food after this. I ran a little guessing game on my Discord thread over who was behind the break-in. Congratulations to longtime Sifal Superfan u/Killsode-slugcat for successfully guessing "One of the UN soldiers". Honorable mention to u/JulianSkies for guessing "Rosi the Yotul", which is also kind of correct, just not for this specific break-in.
I forgot to mention this last week, but I'm starting to make a point of not chaining myself to established NoP lore quite so much, particularly when that lore doesn't actually exist. So you're gonna catch me talking about aspects of the 2136 geopolitical landscape and the historical aftermath of the Satellite Wars, and most of that is just me making stuff up, e.g. referencing an otherwise unheard of event called the Buryatian Counter-Pogroms last week.
[First] - [Prev]
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Memory Transcription Subject: Chiri, Gojid Refugee
Date [standardized human time]: November 1, 2136
The sun was setting over the urban sprawl off to the west as David brought the boat full of supplies back to the rubble-specked island we were living on. I had my new holopad in my coat pocket, but aside from that, we’d left our purchases on the boat until we had a better idea of what was going on back at the restaurant. Strong-looking humans in blue uniforms, a darker shade of blue than the Peacekeepers, were filtering out of the building just as we strolled up.
“Hi, I’m the owner, I called it in,” said David, waving the law enforcement agents down. “What happened?”
One officer glanced back into the restaurant, and shook his head. “Nothing to report,” he said, an annoyed twist to his mouth. “There were no looters. You’re safe to head back in.” He wasn’t making eye contact with David when he spoke. I thought humans normally did that.
“The door wasn’t unlocked, was it?” asked David. He’d made a big show of locking it as we left. He’d said I was already the second alien to barge in while the place was closed.
“Have a nice evening, sir,” said the police officer, conspicuously neither answering the question nor setting us at ease.
David and I watched the officers filter out and drive off, not sure whether or not it was a wise idea to quietly dread whatever, if anything, we’d find inside. He took a deep breath, and led the way.
What we found was a human woman in a formal suit--wasn’t that normally menswear?--seated at a table, glaring at the door, her polished black shoes propped up on another chair for comfort. There was a glass of some brown liquor on the table in front of her, along with a couple lime wedges, some already used, and the rest of the fancy-looking bottle. Behind her, I noticed that the only gap in the bar’s lineup was on the top shelf. Beyond that, my deductive reasoning had nothing. I had no idea who this woman was.
Jilted former lover, here to steal him back from you, the critical voice offered immediately. She was always happy to put that kind of evil into words.
“Good evening, Charmaine,” David said coldly. “We’re not currently open. Shall I close out your tab for the añejo?” Aged tequila, then, if my memory served.
“Fuck you,” she said, pointing her glass at David aggressively. “You called the fucking cops on me?!”
“You broke into my restaurant,” David scoffed, incredulous.
“How did you even know I was here?” Charmaine asked pointedly.
“I’m sorry, you want hints on how to break into my building?” David said, eyebrows raised.
“If I wanted to go around intimidating civilians, I would have joined the CIA in the first place,” Charmaine said. “I didn’t. I joined the Peacekeepers. It’s a big, scary galaxy out there. Somebody with experience had to look after all those green fucking volunteers.” She glared bitterly at David. “You and your Plucky Space Girlfriend are the reason I’m stuck in this shit job on the home front instead now. So yes, the least you could do is help me get good at it.”
Plucky Space Girlfriend? I pointed to myself in baffled confusion.
“What? No, not you,” said Charmaine, incredulous. “Who the fuck even are you? Hell, how did you even get here? Aren’t all the Gojids supposed to be back at the--”
David cut her off, and redirected her back to her initial question. Away from asking questions about me. “Security system went off,” he said, patting the pocket containing his holopad.
“I disabled the security system,” Charmaine shot back.
“Backup security system,” said David, pointing at the ceiling. The two humans stared at each other in baffling silence for a few moments. Faintly, from several stories up, at the very edge of hearing, I could just barely make out the sound of a dog barking.
Charmaine’s jaw dropped. “Oh come on! You had a fucking nanny cam going for the dog?!”
“Yup! Poor little guy was freaking out, so I checked the main security system. Couldn’t see the feed for some reason.” David shrugged, smirking. “Don’t be so hard on yourself, you’re new at this.”
“Again, go fuck yourself,” said Charmaine. “You know goddamn well why I’m new at this.”
“Where’s your Plucky Earth Boyfriend, by the way?” asked David, taking the seat across from her. I followed David, but I wasn’t following this conversation.
“Do I look like I fuck dudes?” Charmaine scoffed, running her hand through a head of hair trimmed shorter than David’s.
“You look like a cop,” offered David helpfully.
“Fuck. You.” Charmaine clearly hadn’t found his observation helpful. “If you’re asking about William, College Boy’s at a plum desk job down in Arlington. Old jarheads like me get stuck with fieldwork.”
“Oh, you never mentioned your service history,” said David. “I’m surprised the Peacekeepers didn’t just transfer you back to the Marines.”
“The Powers That Be wanted me on a shorter leash than that,” said Charmaine, icily. “The leash feels great, actually! You should put one on, too.”
David rolled his eyes. “Is that why you’re here? You and I both know I’m entirely too stubborn and opinionated to follow orders at all, let alone to do proper intelligence work. This is just about loose ends, and making sure I don’t talk about what happened. They can’t properly call it Top Secret if it happened in plain sight of a civilian with no clearance, and they’re mad they can’t arrest me if I run my mouth about it.”
I blinked, as the puzzle suddenly started to click into place. “Oh! Okay, wait, is this about that Arxur you met?”
I didn’t think Charmaine’s jaw could drop any further, but there it went. Even David froze in shock, his eyes impossibly wide.
“You told a fucking HERBIVORE?!” Charmaine screeched. “How stupid are you?!”
I was on my feet in an instant, claws brandished with rage. “Call me an herbivore again and I'll rip your fucking skin off!” I roared.
Chairmaine’s eyes went wide and whipped over to David. Her head shook incredulously. “You son of a bitch,” she said hollowly. “You fucking did it again, didn’t you. Didn’t you!”
David smirked, and tried to regain momentum. “Did you know that the Kolshian meat allergy, at least in Gojids, isn’t triggered by cheese?” He leaned forward, conspiratorially. “Ask me how I know,” he whispered.
“How the fuck…” the human woman breathed. “You realize this isn’t making your case easier, right? Like, what, I’m supposed to head back home and tell my handlers that the goddamn Alien Whisperer doesn’t want to work with us?”
David shrugged. “It was a fluke.”
“Convincing an alien to betray its culture and defect to Earth once is a fluke! Twice, it’s becoming a fucking pattern!” Charmaine shouted.
“I barely did anything! It’s selection bias!” David insisted. “Only the open-minded ones are willing to come to Earth at all. Seriously, have we even had a single visiting foreign head of state yet? Even our staunchest allies are still too terrified to come see the Savage Predator Homeworld.”
“Don’t change the subject,” Charmaine muttered. “The CIA needs you.” She rolled her eyes. “Probably.”
David shook his head. “There's only one intelligence job I'll accept, and I'm already applying for it.”
Charmaine raised her eyebrows. “And that is?”
“Gang of Eight.”
David was a somewhat reserved person most of the time. So were most of the on-duty Peacekeepers I’d run into. It reasonably followed from that, then, that the sound that came out of Charmaine was, without hyperbole, the loudest I had ever heard a human laugh, ever.
“You’re running for Congress!?” she managed to eventually squeeze out between full-body comedy convulsions.
David shrugged. “City council first, maybe work my way up, but yeah. Gonna try my hand at politics.”
“Sorry, what’s the Gang of Eight?” I asked.
“America’s main legislative body has hundreds of delegates,” David said. “On paper, they’re supposed to oversee all intelligence work, but it’s just too impractical to brief all of them on matters of utmost secrecy, so in reality, only eight of them get briefed on the full picture. It used to be eight specific members back under the old pre-SatWar two-party system, but it’s a little more free-form nowadays.”
Charmaine rolled her eyes. “It’s still never a first-term congressman with no previous intelligence work.”
“It can be if the CIA says he’s got a talent for it,” David said, smirking. “In fact, I hear they’re so optimistic about my abilities, they dispatched an agent to ask me in person to work with them.”
Charmaine snorted dismissively, but there was a hint of a smile as she took another sip of her tequila. “Smartass.”
David smirked. “Now, now, there’s no need for obscenity! Why, I’m just a down-to-Earth small business owner with some strong opinions about how our mismanaged foreign policy’s starting to hurt our economy,” he said. “Who’s going to speak for the hardworking average American? Not those fat cats up on Capitol Hill, I’ll tell you what!”
“Stahp,” Charmaine groaned, as she slumped over her glass. “I’m not fuckin’ drunk enough to hear your shitty talking head impersonation.”
“And you won’t be,” said David. “Again, we’re closed, and I have some ingredients to unload, so unless you plan to help carry groceries, would you mind calling yourself a cab?”
The agent looked at the door, her brow furrowed, deciding her next course of action. The conversation sounded like it was concluding, at last, but it didn’t feel like the matter was resolved at all. If they wanted David’s silence, then it didn’t sound like Charmaine’s employers would consider a long-term career in public service to be a serious compromise. She looked like a woman who’d reached a dead-end, not a destination, and so she was already plotting a new course.
She’s a threat to the life we’re trying to build here, said the critical voice, far more emotional than usual. We’re leaving ourselves vulnerable. She’ll keep coming back until she gets what she wants.
She could interfere with our visa application, said the odd voice, far more methodical than usual. Force David to choose between silence and us.
Did I have the voices on backwards?
The two greatest threats to our safety are your weakness and your foolishness, the critical voice explained. I have to say unkind things to keep you alive. We are NOT getting hurt again!
You were raised an herbivore, but your blood remembers the hunt, the odd voice explained. You live astride two worlds. Your instincts know how to hurt people. Your imagination knows how others can hurt you.
What’s the Council’s recommendation, then?
Strike now, they said.
“So I’m sorry, but could I ask the obvious question?” I said, doing my best impersonation of a Fissan businesswoman in the midst of a particularly icy negotiation. “Why does it matter if David talks? The world’s been turned upside-down around once per month since the United Nations made first contact. What’s one more terrible revelation on the pile going to do?”
Charmaine shook her head in frustration. “I don’t fucking know. The ‘why’ is above my pay grade. I just have my orders.”
I tilted my head. “You don’t even know why talking about it is bad, but you somehow know that telling a former member of the Federation is worse?”
“I…” Charmaine began, baffled. She leaned back in her chair, away from me. “I mean, we don’t want state secrets leaking to the wider world.”
“I said ‘former’, though?” I said quizzically. “I'm on Team Earth now.”
“If I might interject?” David brushed his hair back, and seemed to mimic my stance at the table instinctively. He fell into formation as naturally as he breathed, covering me like a gunship off my wing. Was this the power of a social predator? “Look, if I had to speculate,” he said, “I’d say it’s a policy concern. I have more fingers on one hand than there have been conventional attacks on U.S. soil, and every single one ended in escalation. People are already calling for blood. Pull up social media from the last few weeks, and the only topic that was trending harder than ‘Glass Nishtal’ was ‘Humanity First’, and that particular movement has already drawn blood.”
Charmaine looked like she was searching for a good spot to hook into that argument. It had the cadence of supporting keeping the Arxur incident secret, but David had omitted that connection when making his case. He was technically just describing the regional zeitgeist without actually making a point. It was a good distraction, and I trusted that he had a deeper point he was thrusting towards.
The human woman is strong, said the odd voice, but we can outwit her. It’s two against one.
She’s probably beginning to regret drinking before this conversation, yes, said the critical voice.
“How does that tie back to the Arxur?” I asked, trying to set David up for the kill.
“Because my little incident makes the Arxur look sympathetic,” he said. “When the Federation had us dead to rights, it was the Arxur who bailed us out. That knowledge is already fucking with the narrative. Add in this idea that they were victims as much as victimizers, and suddenly policy shifts. The UN is gearing up for total war against the Federation. If this gets out, there’s going to be a massive popular push for us to detour into Arxur regime change.”
“Right!” said Charmaine, taking the bait. “So that’s why this can’t get out!”
David tilted his head forward. “You want us to go to war without letting the public make an informed decision on who we’re attacking?”
Charmaine flinched like she’d been struck. “That’s not what I--”
“No no, it’s fine, we’ve got a wonderful track record on undeclared wars with no civilian oversight,” said David. “We should just let the nice powerful men in suits do whatever they think is best for America and the economy. Aafa could use a few pineapple plantations.”
Charmaine leapt to her feet in a fury. I did likewise, and she froze up. The ex-Peacekeeper wasn’t wearing her shiny blue body armor anymore, just a set of clothing that humans called a “suit”. See, I’d been learning a lot today. I’d learned the names of a number of different kinds of human clothing, for example. I’d also learned that my quills alone could pretty trivially shred through most of them.
The human woman glared at me, and sat back down. “Keep Hawaii out of your fuckin’ mouth,” she muttered at David. “But yeah, I see your point.”
I sat down as well. “That covers the issues with telling humanity,” I said, “but what about people like me?”
This time, David’s attention swiveled, and it was me that he looked at with concern. His mouth opened, but he said nothing for a few moments, choosing his words carefully. “There’s too much hatred for the Arxur among the people of the Federation,” he said softly. “Opening doors with the Arxur might close them with the Feds. Even seeing us openly considering working with the Arxur might send what few allies we have running to the hills.”
Charmaine nodded. She hadn’t made the point, but it supported her position nevertheless. “Yeah, I mean, that’s a pretty big geopolitical concern. Good enough excuse to keep this under wraps, right?”
I didn’t need the chorus inside my head for this one. Deep down, I already knew what to say.
“I don’t feel like my life has been better for having the truth hidden from me,” I said softly. “If the Arxur were always willing to talk with meat-eaters, we Gojids might have been greeted as allies, like you were, if our culture hadn’t been stolen from us.”
Charmaine looked afflicted. Was that just empathy, or had her culture been stolen from her as well?
“So, wait, are you still Catholic, or did you finally stop living in fear of centuries-old missionaries?” asked David, showing an aggressive lack of tact.
Charmaine leapt to her feet again in a rage. “What did I fucking say?” Charmaine said threateningly.
“You said to keep Hawaii out of my mouth,” David said calmly. “I’m talking about the Philippines.”
“I’m from both archipelagos,” Charmaine growled.
“Then you can appreciate the damage that colonialism can do to a culture twice over,” said David, “and how important it is to reverse it. Do you even recognize the name of Kulalaying, the Moon’s Shadow, or do you simply accept the gods the Spaniards inflicted on you?”
Charmaine shook her head, hollowly. “So… what, that’s a pre-contact mythological name? Why the fuck do you even know that?”
David snorted. “Because I can cook a better pancit palabok than your grandmother.”
“Okay. Why don’t you reel it the fuck back in, buddy,” Charmaine said coldly.
David held his palms up in a gesture of peace. That was an out of line thing for him to say. I didn’t know what “pancit palabok” was, but it sounded like an old family recipe. Trash talking someone’s generational home cooking was considered “a dick move” in most cultures.
“Savory-sweet noodles flavored with sea creatures,” David explained. “Classic celebratory dish from Filipino culture.” He shook his head. “And… yeah, I was mentored by an outspoken expat for a while. He had some very strong opinions on the importance of reclaiming his precolonial heritage.”
“And ‘Catholic’?” I asked.
“Subtype of Christian,” said David. He turned back to Charmaine. “‘And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.’ Gospel of John, Chapter 8, Verse 32.”
She squinted at David incredulously. “Wait, I thought you were Jewish.”
David shrugged. “Think what you like, but it’s a poor Atheist who can’t quote scripture.”
“And the Bible quote is in reference to, what, your cooking?”
David shook his head. “No, that was back to the meat of the matter. Whether or not we should hide what I know from the Federation. We shouldn’t. It might be rough in the short term, but they’re better off in the long run for not living a lie. There’s a Krakotl Admiral in international prison right now who’s going to lose his shit if he ever fully grasps that humans are people. We shouldn’t hide from the Federation that the Arxur are people, too.”
I didn’t want to admit it, not about the Arxur, but I knew the score. “Don’t treat us like lessers,” I said. “We’re sapient. If the evidence is there, we’ll come around to it.”
Charmaine slumped back down into her chair, and just shook her head. “You two are exhausting, you know that?” She perked up for a moment, as a thought occurred to her. “I don’t think I caught your name, actually,” she said, looking towards me.
I stiffened, and repeated the words to the magic spell I’d learned. “I’d like to speak to an attorney before answering any further questions, sir.”
Charmaine snorted. “It’s ‘ma’am’. And see? Exhausting.” She sighed, and sat up. “Look, I hope you appreciate that I can’t actually make policy decisions. That happens way the fuck up the chain. Best I can realistically do is run interference. Drag this out long enough that somebody else’s cat gets out of a different bag, and keeping your secret becomes moot. So I suppose, to that end, I’ll be stopping by from time to time.” She smirked. “It sounds to me like I’ve almost convinced you to join up! I’ll let my boss know that it’ll just take another visit or two, and you’ll come around.”
“Might even take three, who knows?” David said, playing along. “I’m sure you’ll convince me eventually. Just keep trying!”
“Put the tequila on my tab, then,” said Charmaine, rising to her feet for a third time, but calmly at last. “And for the love of God, please stop casually deprogramming aliens.”
“No,” said David, smiling.
Charmaine groaned. “Fuck you, then. And I’m coming back for that better-than-my-Grandmother’s palabok, you hear me?”
“Only if you start respecting locked doors,” David shot back.
“No,” she said, smiling, and left.
For a moment, everything was quiet, and just the two of us were alone in an empty restaurant. David reached over and held my paw in his hand in a show of support and sympathy. “What an exhausting day,” he said, and I couldn’t disagree.

So we all know house appeared at the end of the series, he will more than likely appear again but what if house died during the events of FNV? Well as we know house studied at the Massachusetts institute of Technology which the remnants of that institution we know from the events of FO4 created the “Synth”, the synth being a synthetic human which can be uploaded with a persons memories and thought patterns, similar to nick valentine being based off a detective that lived Pre-War, what if house had a back up plan for dying? Knowing he had connections in MIT what would be the chances that before its supposed destruction it created a synth with the personality of a now dead Mr.House. We know one Synth was missing and was a “high profile” target.
This is just a theory I came up with, feel free to ask any questions and I’ll try to answer!

Pictures
All pens come with their boxes except the Luxor fountain pen and Aurora rollerball pens. If you have any questions, need more pictures, and/or want to discuss price(s), feel free to reach out.
Shipping is USPS Priority Mail and only to the USA. The Aurora pens will be shipped with USPS Ground Advantage.
Visconti Opera Silver Dust

• A2/B Condition
• 23kt Palladium Dreamtouch BB nib (with gold trim)
  • This is not the original nib that came with this pen, and it is out of production
• Limited Edition #104
• Double Reservoir Power Filler
• There's a small bit of dried ink at the base of the power filler inside the pen. You can probably clean that out with the right solution, but I haven't tried to.
• $750 shipped

Armando Simoni Club Bologna Medio

• A2 Condition
• 14kt Music nib
• OMAS Pearl Grey celluloid
• Rhodium trim
• 1 of the 30 rhodium trim pens made
• $750 shipped

Pilot Metal Falcon

• A2 Condition
• 14kt Soft Broad nib
• Extra 14kt Soft Medium nib unit included
• Rhodium trim
• Comes with a Flex Nib Factory housing to use either Falcon nib with pens that use Bock 250 nibs
• $350 shipped

Pilot Sterling Silver - Silvern Koushi

• A2 Condition
• 18kt Medium nib
• Sterling silver body and cap
• $515 shipped

Pilot Justus 95

• A2 Condition
• 14kt Adjustable Medium nib
  • You can turn the section to move the piece up and down the nib. The piece being all the way up makes the nib harder whereas the piece being all the day down makes the nib softer
• Guilloche line pattern on the cap and body
• Rhodium trim
• $280 shipped

Pineider Full Metal Jacket

• A2 Condition
• Comes with a Pineider pen filler, piston turning knob magnet, and other accessories in its box
• Medium 14kt Quill nib
• $215 shipped

Leonardo Momento Zero Grande - Dark Hawaii

• A2 Condition
• 14kt Music nib
• Spare steel Medium nib
• Piston filler (this is a real piston filler, not a converter)
• $500 shipped

Karas Kustoms Ink V2

• A2 Condition
• Steel BB nib (Bock 250/#6 nib unit)
• Grey aluminum body and cap
• Black aluminum section
• $80 shipped

Aurora Ipsilon Yellow Rollerball Pen

• B Condition
• Takes Aurora rollerball refills (not included)
• $50 shipped

Aurora Ipsilon Red Rollerball Pen

• B Condition
• Takes Aurora rollerball refills (not included)
• $50 shipped

If I’ve made any mistakes, let me know! Here’s a mod list before the long, typo-infested, rambly bits!
u/lonelytwatwaffle (x3)
u/Jane_Q
u/JaimeKJ
u/kittycatcon
u/babyraspberry (x6)
u/bluedecemberart (x5)
u/comingtogetyoubabs (x5)
u/constructionlower549 (x7)
u/cswl (x6)
u/DoraDoodle (x4)
u/ez330 (x4)
u/isar-love
u/Jdoodle7 (x4)
u/jvanct88 (x2)
u/korewrites (x2)
u/libertyprogrammer
u/LeeElla
u/mikepenpal6 (x5)
u/mlks00 (x2)
u/monetmonkey
u/mydinosaurdidit (x8)
u/onelittlericeball (x4)
u/pinkpengin (x7)
u/TigerLady13 (x4)
u/travel4me22
u/umeshufan (x14!)
I’ll start this with a huge apology. It was never my intention to take so long on my break or to post a thank you for all the amazing mail you’ve been sending. A few months were super… not stellar, and I just kind of wanted to hide under a rock so I wouldn’t bother anyone until I could feel a bit more like myself, and with all of that, you guys have just been the sweetest. I got so many sweet messages checking in and felt so loved despite the fact that it’s taken me half a year to get back on here. Thanks for all your patience with me. You guys are the absolute greatest! <3
An additional thanks to u/pinkpengin for sending a card basically inviting me to come back to the cool kid’s table to play this week! :D
Allsssooo also, I wrote half of these in January if any of them are odd, and I’ve also not detailed the cards that have been sent to family members as I didn’t read them myself, just added them on my count here, and sorry if the formatting is a bit wonky. I'm copying this from a document, so I might edit if it's terrible.
To start, I received a fun Meet-Up card from some now irl friends on here! Thank you guys! I really wish I could have made it to this one:
u/lonelytwatwaffle (x3)
u/Jane_Q
u/JaimeKJ
u/kittycatcon
u/babyraspberry (x6), You sent such happy mail with your world postcard day envelope! I love the picture of a beach in Portugal. It makes me want to take a vacay ASAP! I also loved the fun little fact you put about the Peach Springs, AZ USPS! So cool! You also included cute star cut-outs, a little packet of stickers, and washi on what looks like a fun space cat playing card! I’m seriously giddy to get to the pic!
Thank you so much for the sweet hot cocoa and New Year’s card you sent! You also included a pretty saguaro cactus card and lovely pastry scrapbook paper, because you’re so thoughtful like that! I love how pretty every single envelope and card is that you send! I’m also excited to hear that you’re getting settled into the new(er) place a bit more! I hope you had a great time with the family visits!
Oh, my goodness, the wintery cards you sent my way were just stunning! I really liked hearing about your walk on the frozen lake and what an adorable “Cake of Friendship” recipe! The stamp stickers are always just the perfect colotheme, too! It always gives me heart eyes!
u/bluedecemberart (x5), Your Halloween card was adorable! You made it even cuter with the stickers. You mentioned “catching up on mail someday”........... Lol! You sent me about 50 cards to my…. ahem… completely non-existent ones. You’re a treasure, friend!
Thank you so much for my massive care packet of cards in an envelope that was just the cutest, with cats and Totoro stickers! It was beautiful! Every single bit in the envelope was so thoughtful!
You sent a “You’ve Got Mail” postcard, which reminds me… I should rewatch that movie someday so u/comingtogetyoubabs can stop laughing at the fact that I mix up all the Meg Ryan/Billy Crystal movies. I can’t be the only one… or maybe I am?!
You also sent the cutest envelope and added little address cardstock labels to add some zest to my envelopes along with so many cute stickers of cats, dogs, and squirrels! So sweet! I really loved the “Support Your Local Librarians” sticker! We are so lucky to live close to a very nice library with super active librarians who really care about the community, and it breaks my heart that they’re being given extra nonsense to add to their worries right now. :(
I especially love the card that has “You can do anything! Just not Everything” on the front. What a perfect reminder. You are so caring and thoughtful, and I’m so thankful for you!
u/comingtogetyoubabs (x5) How do you always find the perfect cards and things to say?! I love the whole envelope filled with citrus-themed cards, stickers, washi, all of it! Your puns were cracking me up! You even made the address label with little lemons! Super cute!
Then you also sent cards that were bee-related and stickers galore! I’m pretty sure that’s the first cat bee return label I saw in-person! They are adorable!
You sent a fun fall card with such pretty watercolor animals on it! The little hedgie sticker matches perfectly! It’s giving me heart eyes! Thank you, m’dear!
u/constructionlower549 (x7) Ugh, your holiday postcards are always so cute! I love the pic with you and the pupper (both smiling) on the front! It’s seriously so sweet and happy! I also loved the sweet card you sent with the New Year’s plans/updates. It’s seriously been entirely too long since I’ve sent an update! I definitely agree… Christmas is a bit overwhelming for me every year, tbh. I always look forward to the New Year knowing that we’ve made it through another hectic season of cooking/visits/everything! XD I always feel like I drop so many balls and last year was one of the biggest times I’ve done that. I didn’t even send holiday cards last year. :/
What a cool Starbucks postcard! I had no idea they even had postcards, but I love the gold and white on this one! The sparkly purple pen you used on it is just chef’s kiss perfection! Thank you!
I loved hearing about your bday trip! It sounds like such a fun adventure! I know you mentioned you did a lot of HUGE things, but I saw, “hung out by the pool,” and for some reason that part was the bit that I was like, “WHOA! WHAT?! IN FEB?! …living her best life by going somewhere beautiful!” XD
Then I got the most cards (I really, really love the hydrangea ones) with backstories from some of the postcards you sent! <3 I loved hearing about your dog-sitting adventure! Ugh, I need to send you a recipe for ice cream when you’re there next time! It’s blueberry pie-flavored, and it’s basically the only one I make in the summers, though I haven’t made it for a few summers now. I was laughing at the “behind-the-scenes” stories from your trips! It’s so funny catching up with people from school, especially when they’ve become parents! It almost feels like a secret club sometimes, knowing things about them but only discussing it in front of kids basically in code language! XD Oh! You asked at the end… I think the postcard lady would definitely be the highest contender for my demise! Lol! I’d totally take an entire litter of rabid cats over her! :D
u/cswl (x6), Thank you for the lovely Halloween card with the glittery witch skirt and the little cat on a walk! So cute! Our cat actually loves taking walks on his harness, but it’s been too cold to go out with him recently, and our old sweet old man of a dog thinks it’s a bit of a pain to go out on big walks now too. Can’t wait for spring! (I wrote this part of your thank-you in January! Spring has been nice indeed!)
The school supply postcard is so cute! I love LouPaper designs and the little rounded edges! The bright rainbow colors on it is just so happy! <3
Such a great “M” card made out of mustaches, too! Very cool design!
What a cool Veteran’s Day card you sent my way! I haven’t seen very many for the holiday, so it was super fun to get one! Thank you!
I also liked your secret “Walt Whitman” card. I have been wondering how work has been going for you. I have done some “extra” work tidying myself at old jobs when I’ve been feeling less than good about them myself.
It was also fun hearing about the 2 festivals in one weekend… was super happy you didn’t have to cook that weekend! That’s kind of a mini-vacation in itself!
u/DoraDoodle (x4), You sent such a pretty Halloween card as well as such adorable cats in costume stickers! They were so sweet! You even finished off the card with a tiny skull and crossbones stamp on the back. Your attention to detail makes everything so perfect! I always love seeing how you perfectly coordinate the papers to make such nice designs!
We all loved your gorgeous handmade Christmas card! It was displayed with the ones we received from family! I definitely missed out on the fun and didn’t send a single holiday card last year. :(
Oh, my goodness, I loved getting your beautiful watercolor card from your trip. That is actually one of our family’s bucket list places! Were you able to catch the Northern Lights while there? I hope you were treated with a lovely view!
u/ez330 (x4), I loved the colorful tulip card you sent and hearing about what had been happening with you. Thank you for checking in with me! You also included such sweet stickers, one of a corgi cupcake that I absolutely adore! Our dog is red with the cute Dorito ears like a corgi, so I’m a little partial to those types of breeds because of him! <3
Oh, my goodness, how was your trip to the National Postal Museum?! My grandma was a retired postmaster, and I think she would’ve loved traveling there! I hope you had the best time!
I loved getting your sweet flower heart postcard too! Thank you so much for caring and sending notes my way. You’re so thoughtful!
What a gorgeous handmade Valentine’s Day card! The light aqua blue with red were actually my wedding colors, so every time I see them together, it just makes me smile! Thank you for thinking of me! It made my day!
u/isar-love, I loved your dragonfly postcard! I love learning differences in language and I really think “dragonfly” is much prettier in yours! My son has a book about bugs from close-up views, and the dragonfly picture is on the cover! I always thought that photograph was especially pretty! He’s terrified of bugs now, unfortunately, but every time I see a dragonfly now, I think of when he first asked if they were actual dragons as a preschooler, and I thought it was just so cute!
u/Jdoodle7 (x4) Thank you so much for sending such sweet cards my way to check on me! My birthday card was just so pretty, and I really like how you did the washi on a diagonal. It really set off the envelope! You even have birthday return address labels, and I just absolutely adore them!
I have out another card you sent recently, the one mentioning Monty Python! Oh, my word! I am so excited to meet someone who gets my references now! :D Poor E, I had to introduce him to it years ago when he mentioned he’d never seen it (can you believe it?!), but now he grudgingly chuckles or rolls his eyes when I quote it in passing!
u/jvanct88, Thank you so much for the super pretty I’m thinking of you card with a holo cat silhouette! I loved getting the life updates! Just so you know, I can’t use the tea you sent because the little packets are so cute! Oh, they’re in with my tea, yes, but only for showing off the cute designs on display! :) Thank you! <3
u/korewrites (x2), thank you for the postcards you’ve been sending my way! I liked hearing about your travels to visit friends. The place you went in January sounds particularly exciting! I hope you had the best time catching up with them!
u/libertyprogrammer, thank you for the lovely card with the super fun stamps on them! What a good idea to send it before the price increased (again), too! The stickers match the pretty dusty rose color of the envelope and I love how you made the card inside with such cute Snoopy washi! It is so good hearing from you! Oh, I might have mentioned in the last post, but I have finished all of your book recs, and I was absolutely blown away by one series in particular! Kind of bouncing up and down over the fact that a certain author has new author pics!!! Did you see?! I know everyone online is saying not to get our hopes up, so OF COURSE MY HOPES ARE SKY HIGH that we get a new book ASAP! :D I can’t believe there are some people who have been waiting for decades when I’ve only been excited for a few months!
u/LeeElla, thank you for the sweet card with the cherry blossoms and cute washi and stickers! I loved getting to hear about your travels. I feel like my family and I will start doing a small bit more of that this year finally, and I love hearing where others have been!
Also, your writing is lovely!
u/lonelytwatwaffle, I loved hearing about your beach trip! What a nice getaway! My family took trips there when I was little. I think it was maybe the first time I saw the ocean! It sounded like such a nice, relaxing time! I hope you had a blast!
u/mikepenpal6 (x5) I loved your purple Halloween card with the pumpkin and owl! What pretty scrapbook paper in the background, too! You always find the most festive and adorable carding supplies!
What a gorgeous handmade Christmas card! I love how glitzy it is with the little rhinestones and all the cute stickers and washi you used! I hope you had a wonderful Christmas!
Ooh, I loved hearing about the concert you saw! That would’ve been so incredible! I’m super jealous and also really excited that you could go! I saw that one of my faves is going to be about 2 hours away from me very soon, so I went on the ticket site to buy them. E said that I definitely should, but I told him, “Meh, it’d be way past my bedtime.” lol I’m such an old lady now.
Your handmade Valentine’s Day card was absolutely stunning! I always love seeing the cute little gemstone stickers ppl use! I actually didn’t do a ton for this Valentine’s Day. I usually bake for our littles, make them a heart-shaped pizza for dinner, and cook something for E that he likes, but this year, our tiniest got covid (on my birthday! boo!), so we were all sick by Valentine’s Day, and we basically stayed at the house for the rest of the month to make sure we didn’t spread the joy to anyone else. Yuck! I really am glad you were able to do fun things and enjoy the weather with the family!
u/mlks00 (x2), Thank you so much for the sweet Christmas card you sent to the fam and me, especially with the handmade snowflake! How cool! I feel like I haven’t done those in too long. Have you seen the ones you can print online with Star Wars characters snuck into the designs?! They look so cute!
I always love getting your check-ins and updates! I really like this “hello” card stationery too! How classy! I hope you’re doing well, friend!
u/monetmonkey- Oh, what an adorable avocado holiday card! Thank you! Not only that, but you included such cute stickers with a sweet fox and snowy day scene! I loved all of it as well as how you decorated the inside of the card with the diagonal washi. Such a cool effect!
Of course I loved the fun stamps, especially the Maine Coon one! Our kitkat isn’t quite as massive as that, but he’s close, at over 7.5 kg/17ish lbs!
Loved the way you addressed the envelope vertically, too! It really made it stand out!
u/mydinosaurdidit (x8) You sent such happy mail to me last FALL (it’s been way too long since I’ve been here), and it was just so touching that you thought of me for it. It’s beautiful, thoughtful, and I was so taken aback at your generosity! Know that I have it set out for my next project now! I’ve been waiting to make something with it for the summer, and I’m so excited! I’ll send pics when I get it finished! I’ve had a pattern I’ve been wanting to make, but I’ve not had the right materials…until now, and the fact that it’s sentimental is just the cherry on top!
Oh, you gave me ideas for my bullet journal by sending me a sample-type page, and I really like how you have it set up! I’ve been book journaling a bit more lately and still use a bullet journal for my busier months, but I’ve been converting most of the dates to a wall calendar and still using a bullet-style on there for the tasks. It’s so helpful!
What a pretty holiday card you sent with tea and everything! I loved the adorable little paper stars to match the color of the font, and the message made me laugh!
I got the sweetest check-in card from you, typed and everything. It made me a bit teary-eyed. You even included journaling pages and stickers. You are so thoughtful, friend. A few months there were super not super, and I just kind of wanted to hide, and there you were telling me it was okay to just exist. You’re an absolute treasure. <3
Then you sent a kitty postcard with “You’re alive!” on it, and I burst out into laughter! It made me think of Schrödinger's cat, and it just made me ridiculously happy on top of it just being so freakin’ adorable! Thank you, friend!
Such a cool state card you sent! I like the ones with the different flowers/flags/birds on them to see how many I remember from my fourth grade class! :D We visited our state capitol building (where I lived growing up) during school, and the only part I remember was being so nervous that I’d be too loud walking around the halls with the echo-y marble floors… and then I suddenly stopped fretting over that when I realized how slippery the stone made the stairs and imagined falling down them making way more noise than walking funny ever would. XD I was a nervous child… glad I’m not anymore….ummm :D
Thank you for the sweet birthday wishes as well! You handmade a gorgeous pop-up card with a rainbow quilt, and it just blew me away!
The second (!) kitty postcard you made with all the rainbow writing/washi/stickers was just so happy! It made me smile!
u/onelittlericeball (x4), thank you so much for the gorgeous cards you send! I always love seeing your handwriting and the pretty washi/sticker combos you use!
I really liked getting updates on things that have been going on with you lately. It's so nice hearing from you, and I have your latest in my "reply ASAP" stack now!
u/pinkpengin (x7) The fam loved our cute black cat purpley Halloween card! The Halloween donut washi you have is top notch!
Your Jane Goodall Institute card is so cool! She’s one of my heroes (as are you, of course)! I actually bought this little amigurumi book where you could make little feminist icons, mostly because one of the characters is her! I digress… Okay, so as of that card, you had 22 kitters… have there been any more foster fails since then (bc I can absolutely say I’d be such an enabler about that! I nearly got another one myself last month)?
Oh, what a cute little fox riding a bike! I think these notecards are just adorable! You absolutely did not need to write a thank-you, but of course you’re just super sweet and thoughtful like that, and it made me smile! :)
Your sweet holiday card was displayed with the family cards we received this year, and it was so cute! Thank you! We all really enjoyed it. Maybe I’ll get my act together by winter and send some myself this year?! Here’s to hoping!
You also sent such a sweet Valentine with two additional mini cards inside! You are so thoughtful. The envelope was so pretty with how you decorated it! I think Valentine’s Day might be my favorite holiday… I don’t really do anything to celebrate other than baking, but I think that’s maybe why I like it! It’s low stakes! :D
You also sent an extra special holiday card VERY recently… but I’ll be commenting on that one elsewhere. ;)
u/TigerLady13 (x4), I really loved the Christmas card you sent! The stamps were so cute on the envelope, and the Santa in the woods feeding apples to the horses were so just so pretty! Thank you so much!
You have been sending such sweet cards my way! Thank you! My birthday cards were so super sweet. Both were decked out with the cutest washi and stickers galore! You are so very thoughtful! I really like the envelopes! They both had ribbon streamers on the insides of them! How festive!
u/travel4me22, thank you for the fun Blue Ridge Parkway postcard saying hello and checking in! That was so thoughtful! I hope your year has been great so far!
u/umeshufan (x14!) Your pop-up llama card (so cute!) along with an additional note was so cute to get! I really liked the signatures that you and a family member added to it! It was from 15 Nov, so I had the biggest smile reading about a recent event that happened there! <3
The Christmas card you sent made me laugh! I’ve seen shirts with that sentiment on motorcycle drivers, and to see it on the back of a reindeer was just the absolute best! XD You find the most hilarious cards! I definitely need to up my card game!
Thank you so much for the beautiful cards from all your travels over the past 6 months as well as sending notes to other family members! You have been to so many places already this year, and it’s always fun getting to live vicariously through your descriptions of each place!
The NZ sheep postcard is adorable with the little sheep, and I loved hearing about each stop along the way. The “Where’s Wally/Waldo?” one is extra cool! Thank you for sharing it with us! You’re always so thoughtful!
Oh! One of the cards you sent from NZ had another person added to the card, and I don’t know if I’m mentioned, but I think their handwriting is just beautiful! I especially like their A’s! That was so sweet hearing from them as well!
During one of your trips, you were in the same time zone as I was, and I was so excited to get FOUR cards from there! It was so fun getting cards that arrived so very quickly! I always love seeing The Snooty Bookshop cards! They’re hilarious!
You also sent 6 cards just last month, completely putting me to shame! I have them out for a reply just as soon as I pick up some different cards from the store. I think part of my extra long hiatus has made me not want to dig out the perfectly fine old cards I had but start fresh… capitalism at its finest, I suppose… :/
Thank you for sending so many cards to the family over the past half year as well. Your cards always brighten our day! You’ll be getting some replies from E soon, too. He’s not been on RAoC recently either, so I’m adding some of his on my post for him.

Gwen closed her book with a sigh. The autumn sun still shined warmly in King’s Landing, and Gwen could occasionally hear the squawk of a gull. She was nestled between the ancient roots of the weirwood tree of the Red Keep’s godswood. A thick copy of The Seven-Pointed Star rested in her lap. The familiar scriptures brought her comfort, though she recognized the irony of reading it while under the gaze of the Old Gods. All Gwen had to do was look up and over her shoulder to be met with the blank bleeding stare of the weirwood. She thought about Harry. Perhaps he sat in front of a weirwood of his own, in the cold depths of the north, in Winterfell. Was he thinking about her as often as she thought about him?
Her fingers traced over the star imprinted upon the cover of her scriptures. After a few moments of staring blankly, seemingly lost in thought, Gwendolyn opened the book once more and continued her reading.
"The Father reached his hand into the heavens and pulled down seven stars and one by one he set them on the brow of Hugor of the Hill to make a glowing crown... The Maid brought him forth a girl as supple as a willow with eyes like deep blue pools and Hugor declared that he would have her for his bride. So the Mother made her fertile, and the Crone foretold that she would bear the king four-and-forty mighty sons. The Warrior gave strength to their arms, whilst the Smith wrought for each a suit of iron plates..."
Gwen smiled. She and her brothers often read that passage together with their septa. Harry had joined them, too. Back then, when things were simpler and she was somewhere she knew. Since arriving in King’s Landing she had yet to make any new acquaintances aside from new serving girls, and sometimes she’d share a smile with another noble lady when she went to pray in the sept in the mornings. She often felt like a little mouse, scurrying underneath the feet of tall men and hiding in the nooks and crannies of the Red Keep. The godswood was certainly a cranny. Often it was just her alone, especially near the weirwood.
The sept was nice for when she felt lonely, just the presence of others staved away some of the near constant loneliness that nagged at her. Though, Gwen had become comfortable with just her and her thoughts. She often brought books of poems and fairytales from her girlhood, or perhaps a quill with ink so she may write poetry of her own, or she’d study her scriptures.
At the very least, it gave her something to think about.
Something to bring ease to the feeling of dread that seemed chained to her.
The good King Aemon was dead, now Rhaegar sat the throne. Wildlings threatened the North, and by extension Harry, and Illifer. Her father seemed exhausted. They hardly saw each other aside from the breaking of their fasts, and there was little discussion had with him. She had too many secrets, her mind was always occupied with how she could speak with her father, so much so that words simply refused to leave her head. Since Axel had died, there seemed to be an icy distance between Tristifer Tully and his children. A reservation, a fear. Gwendolyn always felt it. Her and her brothers were cursed with Axel’s red hair and blue eyes. Tristifer’s red hair and blue eyes.
Gwendolyn closed her eyes and rested her head against the pale weirwood. She wanted to tell her father so badly. She felt the longer she kept her marriage a secret, the worse a sinner she’d be.
“All sins may be forgiven, but crimes must still be punished.”
The quote came unbidden and without Gwen’s control. She felt her heart quicken. She had committed a crime, a grave one. She.. she was a kinslayer, a dirty thing. She sucked in a breath and pinched the skin on the top of her hand until she let out a sharp hiss of pain. The sting brought her out of her thoughts, and she stood abruptly with The Seven-Pointed Star hugged against her chest.
Gwendolyn wore a gown of black, to show mourning for the death of King Aemon. She also had adjourned a soft velvet hood of black, alongside with a hair net of rubies. Targaryen gems of deep scarlet hung from her ears and adorned her fingers. A show of loyalty to the royal house. Golden threads formed intricate flower patterns down the bodice and skirt. And long sleeves of black silk hung from her arms. Around her neck hung a small seven pointed star encrusted with a sapphire, and on her left middle finger a silver trout had itself fastened. She twisted it a few times before setting forth with a resolute stride.
One upside to being a mouse, was that Gwendolyn had very quickly begun to learn the weaving labyrinth that was the Red Keep. Getting from the Godswood to The Tower of The Hand was simply, simply needing to cross the middle bailey, going through the small hall and past the kitchens to the barracks at the bottom of the tower. By the time she got to the steps of her father’s solar, Gwen found herself a bit winded. Not nearly as badly as when they first arrived.
“I wish to speak to my father, is he here?” Gwendolyn inquired once she had caught her breath.

You ever had a experience that you just felt was just made for you a experience that combined so many things you love that there's no way it exists. Well that is the exact scenario i was in when i discovered a little Indie Game that managed to give me everything i could have ever asked for. Now already i love Indie Games due to how they always try not only scratch that particular itch but also give there own spin on it. Some of my favorites include Shovel Knight for its twist on Mega Man, A Hat In Time for its combination of both 3D Platformers and Collectethons, Bug Fables for its Paper Mario formula both in its design and its mechanics, And of course Dust An Elysian Tale for its incredible art str level design combat story characters and soundtrack. Each of these games not only are some of my favorite games in there specific genres but also are some of my favorite games of all time. However one genre that i absolutely adore is the absolutely phenomenal MetroidVania which combines Collectethon elements as well as Zeldas use of abilities to progress. And while some of my favorite games come from this genre including the previously mentioned Dust. The one game that i think perfectly captures everything i love not just about this genre but video games as a whole. Is a game that has recently become my favorite Indie game of all time and MetroidVania called Hollow Knight. Hollow Knight has just about everything i could ever ask for in a video game including great story characters lore level design gameplay combat atmosphere music and of course boss fights. And so i am going to go through each individual aspect and flesh out just how much i adore this game. So if you're interested i will be breaking this down into chapters for easy access especially if you only care about one category over the other. But with all of that said its about time to finally take a deep dive into the world of Deep Nest and this little game called Hollow Knight.
Ch 1 Showing Not Telling. The Lore. I honestly love a good story as it can get me immersed in the world and give me the drive to keep continuing. And while Hollow Knight does indeed give you that every now and then in the main quest. Like Dark Souls the real good stuff isn't always told to you right away if at all. No instead you need to piece together things yourself through the games world dialogue item descriptions and of course even your own theories. This gives off a real mysterious feeling and defiantly gets you invested in the world of Hollow Nest and it's inhabitants something i can appreciate.
Ch 2 Style Over Substance. The Characters. As much as i do like graphics i have always been more opened to less is more attitude then most people. Seeing developers take creative liberty with certain concepts can make things a lot easier to get around. Take for example Bug Fables which is a Paper Mario inspired RPG and the whole entirety of the game is based around you guessed it Bugs. However despite all that it doesn't just call it good from there oh no it does some incredible and unique things with the idea. And this actually just gives the creators more room to experiment with these ideas as well to make more room for content. Just like Bug Fables Hollow Knight does the exact same thing with its characters and what do you know there based on Bugs. But unlike Bug Fables Hollow Knight goes absolutely crazy with this concept and does some pretty interesting stuff. Plus i just love the different design's that each character looks like and each of them are really memorable and fun too. From the NPCS to the enemies and of course the bosses are just so absolutely amazing and shows just why you can do more with less.
Ch 3 Breathtaking Atmosphere. The World. Since you are essentially playing as bugs that doesn't mean the developers are just going to let it end there. Team Cherry has created a world so immersive and diverse it honestly blows my mind with what they come up with. So the whole game you are going through this place called Hollow Nest which lives underground. This means that everything you will end up seeing is all designed to be underground. But believe me when i say that it doesn't stop the insane amount of variety that you will be seeing throughout the game. From dark caves to grassy areas crystal peaks and even a fungi infested wastland. Each of these are not only breathtaking but also gives you chances to explore and get sucked into this world that is laid before you. The entire game also has a ton to interact with like the aforementioned many different characters. But also the world itself from it's traps treasures many different sidequests and of course tons and tons of lore. Trust me when i say that this game never gets boring as there is plenty to do and explore showcasing the blood swet and tests that was put into this amazing world of Hollow Nest. It honestly reminds me of the great world design of The Legend Of Zelda Franchise which is one of my favorite video game franchises ever made.
Ch 4 Genius Mechanics. The Gameplay. Every good game needs equally good if not great gameplay and controls. And since this is a Metroidvania one of my all time favorite genres of games. The first thing that needs to be in a good Metroidvania is great controls and Hollow Knight nails this down perfectly. Now to create a good set of controls Hollow Knight actually uses different games as inspiration. Like the Heart Pieces from The Legend Of Zelda or the Pogo Jump from Shovel Knight. But of course the real meat and potatoes is in your abilities because if there's one thing i in Metroidvanias it's abilities. There are some staples of the genre like the Double Jump The Speed Dash and the Ground Smash. However there is also unique abilities that Hollow Knight incorporates like The Shadow Dash Wall Climb and how it handles it's Magic System. I won't say to much about the Magic System since it will be covered during combat but lets just say its amazing. Now while all of these abilities are great and all despite the games amazing tight controls there is two other aspects of Hollow Knight that I want to talk about The Map and Charms. A Map is one of the most important items in any game but especially so for Metroidvanias. It is your way of navigating and figuring out where you need to go. Though with the all around feeling of Hollow Knight and it's atmosphere sometimes you just want to explore yourself without a guide. Well Hollow Knight just so happens to have the best of both worlds letting you get lost stumbling your way around until you end up finding Cornifer who will sell you the map of the specific area for a small fee. This means you will have to rely on your own memory and navigational skills to make your way through each area until you find Cornifer by tracking down his paper and his humming. While this is a great idea there is one thing i don't like about this and that's you have to bye a Quill before the map will be drawn in. Unfortunately due to something i will talk about during the combat segment this can be tedious at the beginning of the game. Other than though i really love this game and it's gameplay as it's extremely addicting to want to keep exploring and it has a really great flow that keeps you engaged and about those Charms well you'll just have to wait and see in the combat Chapter.
Ch 5 Simplicity Has Depth. The Combat. So as a surprise to absolutely nobody i adore this games combat. A great combat system can really make or break a game for me as combat is probably one of the things i look forward to in a video game. This doesn't mean the combat has to be as flashy or satisfying like most of my favorite games. All i ask for is just fun enemies to fight and bosses to overcome. Not everything has to be combo heavy as Platinum DMC or Kingdom Hearts. Or as strategic and free flow like Zelda Resident Evil or most RPGs Like Xenoblade and Final Fantasy. Some combat mechanics could be as simple as Spyro and just involve you attacking the enemy once to kill them. Now of course Hollow Knight isn't quite as basic like that but you do get my point. Though Hollow Knight appears that way at first glance there is a lot more depth under the surface. It starts out pretty simple to understand you slash with your Nail left right up and down with your Pogo Slash. However this means that you focus more on the enemies Telagraphs and your placement and this goes double for the boss fights. Of course this isn't everything as there is also your Magic which is called Soul and this is where things get interesting. Soul is connected to everything including casting spells healing and even some of your abilities cost Soul. Meaning that Soul is pretty important right since it's connected to all of this stuff and has different uses. But the question remains what happens when you run out since there will be plenty of times where you know doubt will. Well aside from certain statues and maybe a ancient pool you're only way of getting it back is by attacking with your Nail. This is because just like Kingdom Hearts it incentives you to get into combat more often than not. Its actually really genius since you won't spend so much time running due to the only way to get in a good Heal is by fighting enemies its just freaking fantastic. Then there's your Charms which acts like sort of buffs or cheats that give you different properties. Like being able to gain more Soul of being able to attack quickly a lot of these changes the dynamic in the game pretty significantly. Once again though you can only carry so many Charms so just like your Soul you have to pick and choose what you really want. Like prioritizing navigation over making your Nail be able to hit farther away there's a real strategy and it kept me engaged the entire time. Unfortunately though there is one thing that might turn people off and that's what happens when you die. Because like Dark Souls when you for you lose your currency and this means if you can't make it back to that spot you will lose everything. Despite this i really do like this combat system especially how it actually makes use of your abilities for not just traversal and platforming but for combat as well just like another Indie Game Dust An Elysian Tale.
Ch 6 The World Of Hollow Nest. The Level Design. Everybody will probably tell you that I'm a sucker for a good selection of levels. A great level can really heighten a game to greater heights then ever before. I'm not going to lie the levels here might just be my new favorite lineup in any game. What really makes these levels standout so much is both the way they are structured and there inclusion in the world itself. As i eluded to earlier each of these unique locations have there own gimmicks designs and enemies to make them always standout. Having great platforming segments combat encounters and even tons of secrets to find making these levels really stick with you. Honestly these areas really reminds me a lot of Shovel Knight and its level layouts. Which considering Shovel Knight has some of my favorite levels in all of gaming that is definitely a compliment. Just like Shovel Knight Hollow Knight also knows how to trust you to learn how things work. Because instead of just teaching you Hollow Knight gives you a test of what's to come and then slowly builds on it the further you get. Like in the Fungal Wastes you have to Pogo bounce on these mushroom flowers to propel yourself upward just like Shovel Knight. In the Crystal Peaks you have to go through factory obstacles like conveyor belts smashing machines and even Lasers. Each of these areas not only teach you by having you learn from experience. But they also have a lore reason for being there and how the world works getting you immersed. Some of my favorites includes Fungi Wastes, Crystal Peaks, and Kingdoms Edge which is a snowy looking location that even has a arena called The Colosseum Of Fools. And just like some of my favorite levels of all time my favorite area in the game combines all of the elements i just said along with great atmosphere music and gameplay. Now once you get through a good portion of the game having gone through some pretty amazing tense and epic stuff. Eventually you make it to a giant door and enter it just as you feel save though the door locks you in. This is to make sure that you have to continue on since this next location is possibly one of the most important. Because as you make your way through these winding corridors with Soldiers around every corner. Finally you make it to some semblance of safety as you discover a bench which when you sit on it the music swells the camera pans out to reveal a gorgeous raining city amply called The City Of Tears. That moment hits different after everything you have been through you finally have time to finally reflect on how far you have come. This level is easily one of my favorite levels of all time and easily my favorite location in the game. From it's atmosphere being a raining city due to it being built underneath the great Blue Lake. To the music being one of my favorite tracks in the game sounding both somber and majestic but also somehow mysterious. The gameplay being a perfect test of all of your skills and abilities you have acquired both in the level design and in combat. And finally the lore behind this place which i won't spoil it here but let's just say it's pretty dark. All of this culminates in the creepy and challenging Soul Sanctum. Which involves tough enemies that can cast Magic eerie music and ends with one.Of the best bosses in the game Soul Master. Speaking of bosses it's time to dive into what is arguably the best moments in any game the Boss Battles.
Ch 7 Spectacular Boss Design. The Boss Battles. Boss Fights are easily my favorite part in any video game from there story atmosphere gameplay music and just overall fun factor can't be understated. And while there is a ton of games that have some of my favorite bosses ever made such as. Kingdom Hearts, The Legend Of Zelda, Metroid, Resident Evil, DMC, Platinum Games, From Softwhere, Xenoblade, Final Fantasy, Spider Man, Kirby, Mario, Sonic, Lego, Mega Man, and more recently Prince Of Persia The Lost Crown. Not to mention the one off games like Shovel Knight A Hat In Time and Bug Fables. Each of these franchises and individual games have absolutely incredible boss fights and some that i would consider as my favorites. Yet despite all of this i would defiantly say that Hollow Knight not only would deserve to be up there. But honestly is probably in my top five favorite roster of bosses and let me just tell you it's pretty stiff competition. Hollow Knight not only checks off all of my boxes for how to make amazing boss fights. But also has a staggering amount of them im not kidding there is over Thirty Boss Battles and most of them are amazing. So instead of talking about the all around boss quality i decided that I'm going to give a few examples of just how great these bosses are. As well as also showing off my favorites starting off with the first boss. By the way Major Spoilers!!!!!!!!! from here on out so lets get into it.
False Knight. Every good game needs a great intro that tests you with everything to get you ready for the rest of the game. This means that when making a first boss it needs to follow this premise as well. And i think that the first boss The False Knight does all of this exceptionally well and is one of my favorite first bosses. He's big he's strong and very intimidating for a first time player while also being well telegraphed to get to terms with. I also really love his gimmick of not being able to actually damage him and therefore not be able to get Soul until he's stunned is really amazing. Plus i love the lore about him how he's just a squishy helpless creature that just wanted to become a knight is really kinda sad. Then there is his music which just like the test of the boss themes is absolutely fantastic and fits the fight perfectly. Overall this fight should be the standard of how to make a first boss because this one stands the test of time.
Soul Master. The build up to this battle is just amazing already i loved the City Of Tears and everything it taught you. But then The Soul Sanctum just took that to a whole nother level. Between the enemies the Spell Casters and the Mutants as well as the Mini Boss already great. This finally leading up to the encounter against the boss of the Sanctum Soul Master. Who fights you on top of the roof as you overlook the City Of Tears in the pouring rain and then the fight begins. Soul Master attacks you primarily with spells while also teleporting around. Sometimes he will even try to rush at you which you have to Pogo off of or he will try to ground pound which creates shockwaves that you have to avoid. However this is your chance to use everything you have learned in order to best this cunning foe. Once you finally deal enough damage he will drop your well deserved power up the Ground Smash and just when your about to grab it. Soul Master Slams through the floor and out of pure rage tries to kill you with everything he has. This leads into the second phase where he will try to smash you continuously. But he will eventually get exhausted this leading him open to attack while he just hurls spells at you. And then there's the music which has a choir to fit the dramatic battle and even includes the Light Motif of the main area just like the rest of the boss themes. This fight was just payoff and satisfaction at its finest and is a way to cap off your first visit to the City Of Tears.
Mantis Lords. I love the Mantis Village the build up to this place and it's Mantis Tribe being called some of the greatest warriors ever already set the tone. Then going through this place having to get The Mantis Claws so you can Wall Climb and gain access to the City Of Tears. Only to have the option of coming back having to contend with these Mantis Warriors who aren't even controlled by The Infection and there traps is just awesome and made this place really memorable. Then we make it to there leaders three sister's called The Mantis Lords. Who we have the opportunity to challenge them and if we beat them we earn the respect of the Mantises and they give us access to there locked away secrets and won't attack us. However this is easier said than done since the Mantis Lords are pretty freaking challenging and won't give us an inch. This means we really have to prove ourselves that we are worthy and boy what fight it is. It starts out with a giant Steel Cage and spikes in each side of the arena meaning you have to keep a eye on your positioning. We start out by fighting only one of the Mantis Lord's as we get a fast of the attacks we'll be dealing with. But eventually after we best the first one though the remaining two will tag team making this turn into a Gank Battle. But it's not unfair as we already should have gotten used to the attack patterns of The Mantis Lord's by now. Accompanying this epic battle is a glorious boss theme which the frantic battle and just makes this already phenomenal boss battle even better. Once you best The Mantis Lord's in combat not only do they open the gates letting through to Deep Nest. You also earn the respect and honor of some of the greatest warriors ever definitely a well earned reward. In conclusion this boss fight has everything you could ever want to make it truly a perfect battle. From build up to the atmosphere and the gameplay slowly ramping up the difficulty and of course the music being a perfect track to fit the tempo of the fight. Plus the reward afterwards makes this boss battle really special and would make my top five favorite bosses easy. Yet believe me when i say this isn't even my favorite boss in the game yet and that is just a testament of the quality of this games bosses.
Nosk. Deep Nest is one heck of a scary place between the surprise entrance to the enemy design being as creepy as possible and even the music just sends chills up your spine. Everything hear just makes this place as terrifying and as dangerous as possible no wonder The Mantis Lord's wanted to keep it hidden. And just when you thought it couldn't get any worse you can end up finding a secret hidden area which will lead you to a familiar looking bug. Hey that kind of looks like me you say maybe he's a friend so you follow him going deeper and deeper as you start seeing bones of former bugs. Eventually though you find the familiar looking bug only to see a bunch of bugs who looks just like you strung up along the ceiling tide up in webbing. Now already enough this is creepy but then the big twisted reveal comes in when the lookalike starts snapping its neck and transforms into the grotesque abomination named Nosk. This is just one of the many optional and surprise encounters you can discover in the game and i love it. Nosk is as terrifying as they come dashing around the area while trying to hit you with his acid goo which sticks to the ground makes for a pretty chaotic fight. And by the way yes he does get his own theme and yes it is absolutely scary all and all a very great boss.
Broken Vessel. One of the biggest mysteries of the game is who you are and what you are doing since you kind of just show up due to a presence beckoning you. This mystery gets deeper and deeper as you meet certain characters who seem to call you either a savior or destroyer. Which makes you start to wonder just why did you show up here and who was that was calling you. And while we will get to the who called you latter you do eventually find out what you are and what your purpose is by going to a place called Ancient Basin. Now let's just say that this place doesn't really seem very welcoming instead it feels empty and eerie not to mention it's at the bottom of Hollow Nest. This all creates a kind of mysterious atmosphere from the enemies to the design of the place and even the ambiance instead of music. All of this leads up to the actual boss fight which instead of fighting a creepy or terrifying monster at the end. Instead you end up seeing het again another familiar figure who once again kind of looks like yourself. But just as you get close to it the figure awakens fully controlled by the Infection this is revealed to be Broken Vessel. That moment hits hard since this is the first time finding out just what your true purpose might be to contain the Infection. And now you stand before what is essentially your sibling seeing him possessed by the Infection and now you have to fight him and the fights fantastic. To start out this battle feels like a really good battle of equals as Broken Vessel has a ton of attacks he can whip out. Being able to bounce around the arena, charging at you with his Nail either from the ground or the air, produce orange blobs of the Infection to attack you or even track you. and even attack you mindlessly with his Nail just to keep you on your toes. Last but certainly not least Broken Vessel at half health will occasionally unleash a desperation attack where he will bombard you with tons of Infection Blobs. Unfortunately though once you beat him the Infection will leave him and he dies with one last gasp before collapsing. This fight was really tragic and sad having to put one of your own siblings out of there misery. The music and atmosphere really capturing that feeling even more and trust me it gets worse.
Watcher Knights. Latter on in the game your tasked with two things upgrading your Dream Nail and tacking down the Dream Lords. This requires you to go to three locations One is Deep Nest another is The Archives and of course the top of The City Of Tears. Each of these Dreamers have some kind of trial you must conquer whether that be tons of enemies a dungeon or a boss. And in the case for The City Of Tears its all three since you have to go through the Aristocratic District which is heavily gathered by giant Soldiers which even does double damage to you. And finally standing at the top is one of the toughest boss battles in the game beings called the Watcher Knights. This boss is a bunch of corpses that the Infection will actually reanimate them one by one and you have to beat all of them. It kinda reminds me of The Four Kings from Dark Souls since they will keep coming so you have to be able to keep up with them it's great. Once you defeat them you can finally awaken the one of the Dreamers and then there is only two more to go yay.
Hive Knight. If there is one thing i adore about games it's the option of being able to update the game if you need to. And of course being able to release Downloadable Content which can heavily improve the game and even provide new content. One of the best examples of this though is through Fromsoftwhere with there insanely packed DLC. Which usually provides some of the best content in not just the particular game but in gaming in general. Indie developers usually love to do this and some of favorites more then met the expectations that i had. Another one of those instances however is from Hollow Knight where they not only have a ton of DLC but it's also free. Now while they did as quite a bit of stuff in these free DLCs and updates we will get to those later. The one aspect i want to talk about first is the LifeBlood/ Console Port update where they improved on so much including making some bosses better. Like one of my favorite bosses The Traitor Lord of one of my favorite locations Queens Gardens. But we're not here to talk about that oh no we are going to talk about how they made one of the more underwhelming areas into a fantastic one. The Hive is a pretty great concept overall since Bees are one of the most famous bugs ever. Unfortunately though in the original i heard that there was no boss fight at the end which is a real shame. Luckily enough for me i didn't have to experience that because my goodness is the Hive Knight absolutely amazing. Its your typical one on one duel with you both fighting each other with blades. However i just really like the flow of this fight making it a real standout to me. Not to mention you get HiveBlood one of the best Charms in the game and believe you'll need it for The White Palace.
White Defender. Back to the Dream Nail there are many ways you can upgrade your Dream Nail. Either by collecting these Dream Orbs from special trees, fighting Dream Warriors by finding them at there grave sites, and my preferred way fighting stronger versions of previously fought bosses. These are honestly really good each of them being very unequally different just enough to change up the dynamic of there previous fights. And my favorite one feels like the most improved due to it being added with the Dream DLC. It is of course one of the more important bosses in the original game The Mighty Dung Defender. Who had actually pretty great build up in his location The Royal Waterways due to him leading you to him with his charming dialog and his fight just so happened to be one of the most enjoyable. Then when i heard that there was a even better version of him you knew i was all over it and it didn't disappoint. With more attacks higher speed and health and even a New theme that really fits his personality this fight was a blast from beginning to end.
Hornet. Rivals tend to be some of my favorite bosses since they usually have great build by antagonizing you multiple times throughout the game. Plus the added benefit of them being able to sometimes level up with you making for a evolution of both your skills and your rivals. Then of course there's just the fact of fighting a battle against someone who is either in your same weight class or has a similar skill set like you do that just gets the heart pumping. Some of my favorite boss fights of all time just so happens to be rivals due to them being the ultimate test for you and your skills. My favorite example probably being Vergil for his evolution contrasting appearance and his character and boss fights were just so epic some of the best in all of gaming. And so you could imagine reaction when i got introduced to would be my rival in Hollow Knight Hornet. Who not only has great build up from you slowly following her throughout the second area Green Path. We eventually find her only for her to call is ghost and that are kind shouldn't be exempted around here. This is further displayed by the sight of her impaleing a similar figure like us thus beginning the fight and It Is Glorious. Hornet has quite a bit of attacks she can dish out and with her Nail and the usage of Silk she can get pretty unpredictable. Her attacks includes being able to throw her Nail at you and pull it back, Darting around the arena with her silk making her a very nimble opponent, and last but certainly not least she can charge a barrier of Silk around her damaging anyone who gets to close meaning you have to be aware of you positioning. Once you beat her she flees and you examine the other body to retrieve the MothWing Cloak which allows you to Dash. After that though you encounter Hornet a few times even trying to help you during some moments. This all leads up to you
Hollow Knight/ The Radiance.
Grimm.
Ch 8 Sound That Fits. The Soundtrack
The Conclusion

Chapter One
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Prev
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-Factory Floor of the White Flame Industries Magifactory-
“First of all, I’d like to introduce you to your new co-workers. To reiterate, they aren’t directly from the hell-plane.” Master Demonologist Thippily was in his element, smiling and excited. He stepped aside to reveal an engraved chest behind him. He opened it, revealing a neat grid of small dark rods, each in their slot. He pulled out a single ebony imp totem and held it high so everyone could see it. The room was bright, lit by the narrow windows spaced evenly around the huge room, and some glass skylights overhead, and astonishing extravagance for Pine Bluffs.
“This is the totem. Without going into some super interesting details, this is what projects the imp, as well as binds it to our plane of reality.” Grigory paused, clearly waiting for someone to ask him to explain in more detail. Everyone in the room had fallen into that trap before and knew to keep their mouths shut. “They need to be invoked into our reality, but the invocation is a very simple gesture. Interestingly, the invocation itself doesn’t require magic, it’s all self-contained, just hold the thick side of the totem and–”
Grigory flicked the totem with a swift twist of his wrist, summoning a muted thunderclap that heralded the appearance of a tiny, dull-red demon. It materialised midair, landing with a soft clatter of hooves on the stone floor. It regarded its surroundings with its one big eye and sat down cross-legged, its big knobby knees sticking out widely.
Taritha, along with most of the rest of the audience, took some involuntary steps back in horror. It was grotesque, inhuman—a parody of a man, so diminutive that she could have trapped him in a woven basket. Though taller than a squirrel, its scrawny frame suggested it weighed no more than one. Sitting perfectly still it was less threatening, but the air itself stank of hell. Looking around, Grigory and Stanisk were both smiling, like they were waiting for us to get a funny joke, while the entire crew stared horrified at the little imp.
Grigory continued, with a showman’s cadence, ”First of all let me once again say they are safe! Imp! Take this knife and bring me Stanisk’s ear!” The demonologist crouched low with his silvered steel pocket knife on his open palm.
Before anyone could react, the imp just said, “Nerp.” Stanisk for his part didn’t look remotely worried.
“No matter what you ask it to do, it will refuse the order if it would hurt any living thing. Very safe! Well, large living things? People and animals for sure!” Grigory folded his knife and put it back in his pocket. “Come to the side, I’ll show you more why this is the most potent magic I’ve ever used. I’ve not finished furnishing your quarters yet, so let's work on that.” He led them across the floor to the side where a few planks were on one of the shelves, practically lost in the scale of the room.
As he spoke, he performed a different and more elaborate gesture over the chest. Like popcorn, a steady stream of imps popped into existence; Taritha lost count at twenty, with more continuing to appear. Without hesitation, they pulled tiny tools from boxes. The low, wide benches around the perimeter were actually imp-sized workbenches designed for such tasks. “Imps, craft one writing desk, sturdy with martial engravings. Use both pine and walnut,” he ordered.They moved quickly and confidently, and without a sound, other than the tools against the wood. It was an overwhelming swirl of activity, with so much happening at the same time that she couldn’t follow it all, so she focused on a single imp. He (it?) wielded a chisel in both hands and shaped a plank while two other imps held the plank firm. In as little time as it took for her to take it in, it was done. It started on another plank, while yet another imp ran away with the finished board.
Edging closer for a better look, their rapid, nimble movements were even more unnatural. Their limbs were long and agile, flitted about with eerie precision. The sight clawed at my gut, as revolting as watching a spider write a song with a quill on parchment. Their faces, such as they were, barely watched their own work.
Still reeling from what she saw, Taritha watched as one imp finished up and another sprinted away with the board. Then, the first imp picked up a tiny broom to tidy his workspace. Once the sawdust and shavings were cleared, it replaced its tools and sat down on the workbench, legs crossed, back straight and his single eye open and regarding the demonologist. Looking further down the row, she saw that the countless parts had been assembled into what was by all accounts an amazing desk. The imps covered the entire bench, still too many to count.
A pot wouldn’t have even started to boil in the amount of time it took them to build that thing!
Grigory noticed the discomfort in the room; everyone seemed torn between their unease with the demons and their curiosity about the work being done. He decided to remove their distraction. 'Imps, stand at the kilns,' he commanded crisply.
“Merp!”
The imps bounded and sprinted across the entire factory to stand by the kilns, well out of the way, and stood in straight rows at the far side of the factory floor.
“Take a look, It might be a familiar level of quality. Oh, and those are the only two words they seem to know.” He gestured to the completed desk on the bench.
“Holy shit, they are as good as the guys that made our stuff in the barracks, this is amazing!” Ros gushed.
The desk, crafted entirely from wood, had no screws or brackets—only amazingly intricate joinery. Its surfaces were smooth to the touch, except for the vertical faces, which displayed scenes of war and battle. They were created in a palette of carved white pine and deep walnut, shaded with hellfire scorches—some almost too small to see.
“You don’t think that, uh, they’re the same guys?” Rikad ventured.
“No, I haven’t been sleeping on a demon bed this whole time? Have I?” Theros said with growing horror.
“Of course! Not just that, the mugs in the cabinet, the bedding, the clothes, literally everything from the midsummer festival! Imps made it all, most of that was late at night in my bedroom, to be honest!” Mage Thippily said, bursting with pride.
Theros looked down at his bright green shirt, one he’d worn countless times, and immediately pulled it off, threw it on the floor and took a few steps back. “It was touching me!”
Wow, he’s in really good shape, Taritha observed approvingly. A refreshing reprise from the stressful morning.
I’ve no idea how I’d react if I knew I was wearing demon-made clothes. Oh shit.
“Uh, were all the clothes you’ve given me made by imps?” She asked Stanisk, already knowing the answer.
His laugh was deep and rumbling, “I sure as goat balls ain’t been sitting in the lamplight with a lil needle! It's fine miss, they’re handy as hell. Put yer damned shirt on Theros, and let’s keep moving.”
Grigory continued, “Yes, don’t worry too much about complex imp commands, that’s my responsibility. You are welcome to come to the factory whenever you like if you need something, anything at all. But please, don’t make anything outside of this room, just to keep things neat.”
Mustering her nerve Taritha piped up, “Uh, Sir? Can they make me a new comb?”
The demonologist was almost giddy with excitement at her request. “Oh yes! Ask them to!”
“Uh, I’d like a comb please?” Taritha gently said towards the swarm of imps by the kiln.
Nothing happened.
“Ah, there’s a bit of a knack to it, miss. You’se gotta address ‘em, then make the request. Then stay silent for a bit, and they’ll go. Imps! Craft five wooden combs for a lady, all different styles.” Stanisk said firmly, with the same tone and cadence he ordered his men.
A small handful of imps sprinted across the floor back to their workbenches, and this time the combs were done staggeringly fast. The tool noise ended, and Stanisk collected the combs off the bench as they tidied up then sat cross-legged. He placed them all firmly into her hands with a big grin, his hands warm and callused. “Anythin’ that can be made, any time you’se want. It’s a better way to live.”
Of course, each comb was perfect and beautiful. Each was unique, all had patterns, textures, and carvings on the handle. Each was made out of both pine and walnut, giving a pleasing contrast with pale and dark.
I would have bought a plain one, but these are so much nicer than anything I’ve owned before.
The linseed oil was still a little slick on them, so she held off running them through her hair and gently placed them into her satchel. Already they were her most prized possessions.
Grigory added, “Feel free to get me or Stanisk if you need help, but you’ll catch on fast enough, they are simplicity itself! Anyways let's have a look at the common spaces, I think you’ll find them much nicer than that old warehouse!”
Grigory’s tour was terrifying and overwhelming. He introduced new appliances, concepts and enchantments with every breath. The kitchen had no fire, just pyrostones that could be activated by moving an inhibitor stone, and in both the ‘stones’ were carved into a pleasing functional shape. The water jugs were massive rooftop barrels, linked by copper pipes to a fixed basin he called a sink. There were countless other minor and major strangenesses. Even the plain parts, the high ceilings, the smooth tiled floors and sturdy doors blew her mind. She’d never seen anything as refined, effortlessly expensive. She assumed such things existed in the homes of the nobility, but she’d never seen a building as grand, let alone been inside one. The trappings of wealth and the unique, fully enchanted aspects ran together badly for her.
“--This mattress is a series of magically linked columns of woven wool that dynamically change their diameter, which in turn–” Grigory droned on excitedly gesturing towards a gorgeous bed, as big as her entire hovel.
“Sir, souls don’t exist at all, or just for demons?” Theros interrupted, his face clouded with worry.
“Oh. Uh, I’m sure you have a soul, just not one that I have any way of detecting, affecting or interacting with?” Grigory said. His brow was furrowed with concern. He continued as conciliatory as possible. “And afterlives are likely some extraplanar reality that is also entirely undetectable?”
“Whew, that’s a relief! Thank you milord!” his stress melted away and he returned his full attention to the tour.
“Right. Anyways, there are no hearths, the heating and cooling of each room is controlled by–” and Mage Thippily happily continued his tour. The men looked at each other, taking a half dozen different conclusions from the short exchange. They continued to the extravagant latrines, to the totally empty armoury, and finally ended on the factory’s roof.
As they ascended the final flight of stairs, Mage Thippily ushered his soldiers onto the expansive rooftop. "Here we have the rooftop garden," he announced with a grand sweep of his hand. The area had been meticulously reinforced, the stonework beneath their feet solid and reassuring. "Feel free to run drills here if you like. But," his voice warmed with pride, "this is my favourite part!"
The rooftop was a vibrant tapestry of newly potted plants, their leaves still tender and bright against the sun. They passed rows of greenery that hinted at future seclusion and colour. Familiar patio furniture, just like the ones they had at their last barracks, offered a semblance of continuity and sanity. In the centre, a gazebo stood like a freshly bloomed flower, its newness evident in the crispness of the vibrant canvas and the shine of the wood.
Approaching the north wall, Grigory leaned casually against the defensive ramparts, a solid structure that spoke of strategic design. His men gathered around, following his gaze outward.
Beyond the fortress walls, a wide expanse of forest stretched toward the horizon, its canopy a patchwork of greens and browns. Where the trees broke, the land transformed dramatically into a steep, rocky shore. Below, the Nerian Sea churned, its waves crashing against the cliffs with relentless, rhythmic fury. From this vantage point, the view of the coastline stretched magnificently—a panoramic display of nature’s unbridled power and beauty.
"I’m thinking of adding all-weather tables and chairs up here," The demonologist mused, breaking the silence as his eyes scanned the horizon. "Maybe some cover and heaters too, to turn it into a kind of three-season space." His gaze drifted back to his hirelings, a tacit invitation in his eyes. "Feel free to come up here whenever you like. I only ask that you don’t interrupt me if you see me reading or writing."
Taritha nearly scoffed aloud, the idea of interrupting him was so many layers of taboo that the thought hadn’t even formed. The men seemed more at ease here, and several took seats and talked excitedly. Others walked the long perimeter of the rooftop. The sides closest to the courtyard extended to the top of the perimeter walls, allowing them to walk all the way to the gatehouse. Ros stood near her, looking out at the ocean.
“I didn’t think I’d ever get to set foot in a palace like this!” he said in hushed reverence as she joined her.
“Yeah, the funny part is how humble the mage keeps making it sound. As if it’s a boring workman's hut. I have no idea how the emperor lives, but I bet he doesn’t have half as many things as the mage does!” Taritha grinned ruefully.
“Definitely fewer imps! What do you think of them? I think they are the most special thing ever!” Ros gushed.
“I don’t know. They disgust and revolt me, but I also see how they are useful. I worry my reaction is based on assumptions I’ve not examined? Mage, I guess Demonologist, Thippily has been nothing but kind and open in every interaction, so I think I’m okay? With living with demons.”
Just saying that out loud made her skin crawl.
“That’s good! It’ll be alright, if the Chief and the mage think it’s good, it’s good.” Ros declared resolutely. She envied his clarity.
“Yes, we just became a lot more dependent on his goodwill. On the other hand, he didn’t have to tell us anything. He could have lied or covered up,” she said, staring out at the ocean. She’d never been so high up. The slight slope of the woods meant she could see over most trees. It both scared and exhilarated her. She leaned forward to look down and was rewarded with dizzying vertigo. Holding onto the rough stone battlements with both hands she looked out into the grey blue of the inland sea. She could see some fishing boats, just specks near the horizon, far beyond the small scraggly islands that clustered near the shore.
“Are you gonna move in with us? You didn’t say anything when he made the offer.” Ros made another attempt at casual subtly.
That was the exact question she’d been asking herself. On one hand, it was an incredible offer: to live in what might be the most luxurious residence in the entire Empire. And it would be safer, too—while the guards weren’t exactly her own, here they might as well be. But at what cost? Memories of her mother, executed by the Church for witchcraft, haunted her. Would accepting this offer make the Church right about her bloodline? Would it make her just like the evil she’d always feared? Mage Thippily seemed certain that demons weren’t evil, just a chaotic part of a chaotic universe. He knew more about demons than anyone that’s ever lived!
It’s easier to sleep with a guilty conscience in a nice warm room with tall ceilings and a soft bed.
She made her choice, and her stomach lurched as if she’d jumped from the battlement. She took a slow steadying breath before replying.
“I’d be insane not to. Look at this place! Have you seen where I’m living now? No comparison!” Her light tone hid the storm of uncertainties that were making her lightheaded.
This doesn’t have to be forever. Plus the demons seem quiet.
“Let’s go get your stuff! I’ll help you move right now!”
“Ohhhhh, okay. I can’t think of a single reason not to do that right now,” Taritha said slowly.
They started back to the staircase, passing Stanisk on the way. He was quietly discussing something with the mage.
“Sir, is it alright if we go get Taritha’s stuff and move her in?” Ros’s voice crackled with excitement.
“Aye, that’s fine. Take a few others with you, to load the cart at the warehouse and get our gear too. You and the men take the rooms on the second floor, the miss here is too delicate by half for you’se brutes so set her up on the third, 3-C oughta work?”
“We can have a company dinner when you all return! Come up here when you are ready!” Demonologist Thippily commented from where he was sitting.
Stanisk added, “I probably don’t need to tell you’se but don’t NEVER discuss what happens here when in town. Never.” His tone was low and flat, but he made direct unblinking eye contact with them.
“Of course, sir,” Ros said and bowed awkwardly, and the herbalist nodded as they descended the way they came.
They made their way down through the residence side of the factory, crossing to the exit via the second-floor dormitories. Everything was so new, and a few things weren’t entirely finished –some doors leaned against the hallway, and several rooms weren’t furnished.
“There are twelve of you in security, excluding your boss, right?” she asked as they walked.
“Yeah, the same twelve as we had in Jagged Cove!” Ros confirmed cheerfully.
“So why do you reckon there are twenty rooms on this level, and I assume the same number on the other third floor?” she asked.
“Hmm, maybe in case we have visitors?” he offered.
“Strange. Oh, hey guys,” She greeted Eowin, Kedril and Theros as they waited at the end of the hallway.
“The Chief said you needed a hand with moving stuff?”
Ros quickly and clearly explained their plan, and they hooked up the horse and wagon and headed to town. The trip back to town seemed shorter as everyone quietly contemplated their new futures.
“So his, uh, helpers would have made all the stuff we’ve been using?” Kedril wondered aloud.
“Yeah, I specifically asked about the clothes! They all were. It sounds like everything he’s done, he kind of hasn’t done?” Taritha trailed off, unsure what she even thought.
“No, everything he did was even better! He made something that anyone can use! Any one of us could open a factory just like him now, it’s the magic that made the tool, which is a full step more impressive if you ask me,” Ros said.
“Wait, so all those people healed? Was that all with them?!” Theros said with growing horror.
“Nah, I was there, he‘s a regular mage too. I saw him heal them with normal biomancy.” She said as if she had a single other point of reference for what biomancy ought to look like.
They continued in contemplative quietude. The midweek afternoon was busy, and lots of townsfolk were doing their normal chores, fetching water, hauling bundles, and feeding their chickens. Their pastoral tranquillity undisturbed by the demonic horde just down the twisting narrow road to what was recently a swampy forest.
“You guys go on to the barracks and start packing, I’ll be able to bring most of my stuff by myself. I’ll meet you there.” Taritha said as they approached an intersection.
“I’ll give you a hand, the fellas will be pretty quick anyhow,” Ros said gallantly as he accompanied her home.
“Alright, but you can’t judge me for my hut! It’s hard to make a living here without a wealthy patron!” she said. She hadn’t really wanted anyone to know how she lived. City folk wouldn’t understand what it’s like scraping by to survive a winter.
“I’m already impressed! That you owned a place free and clear makes you one of the richest folk I know! Well definitely richer than anyone that would talk to me in the days before I worked for Mage Thippily!” Ros spoke with a smile neither proud nor ashamed of his past.
“What did you do before you were an elite mage guard? You said you were poor but city poor is like country rich! I bet you were the captain of the guard for some rich merchant or something!”” she guessed as she ducked past the hide flap into her hut. “Wait here.”
Ros found a hefty log of firewood with moss growing on one side of it. With a grunt, he manoeuvred it upright, fashioning a makeshift and somewhat precarious stool. Seating himself atop it, he settled in to wait for her, the forest sounds filling the quiet. “Something like that! I picked fruit in orchards, I swept alleys, I did plenty of stuff! I was way too scrawny to be a guardsman though. Stanisk probably only hired me because he’d had a few beers that night!”
The inside of the hut had some clanks and thumps but she didn’t reply. He folded his arms and looked around. He’d come to appreciate the ancient pine forests around the small town. They were actually in town, but surrounded as they were by trees, he felt like he was in the primordial forest. It was the first forest he’d ever seen and hadn’t spent much time in it. His duties kept him constantly busy, other than the work trip to kill the big staghog. Considering all the trees, mosses, low flowers, and darty animals he saw, it felt a little unfair that it just smelled earthy, with the barest hint of pine. If he were in charge of forests, they’d smell like a thousand living things all at once.
“Need a hand?” he offered after a bit longer. He didn’t want to rush her, but he was also happy to help. He was comfortable and wondering if he’d changed at least a bit. Sitting on a log with his thoughts was something he liked now.
“Thanks, Ros, I got it. Do you reckon I should bring my old mattress, or he’ll give me one like he showed us?”
“I can’t imagine him making you sleep on a sack of old hay, while we sleep in the magic beds he’s making. I’ll tell you what, if he does, you can sleep in my bed,” he offered.
“Hah! Just when I thought there were no wolves in these woods!” she retorted.
“Oh, Light no! I meant I’d sleep elsewhere! Oh, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean it like that!” he blurted. She poked her head out of the low opening, and Ros worried it was mainly to see his deep red blushing.
“Hah! Take this!” she said. His firewood stool fell forward with a bassy woomp as he went to take an ancient iron cook pot, filled to the brim with clay jars and a few dark glass bottles. He carefully held the precious cargo, aware of the clacking and rattling they made with even the slightest movement. A few seconds later she emerged with a few old dresses thrown over her shoulder and holding a stack of woven reed baskets in her hands.
“Just as well you came by, I had more stuff than I remembered. I hope I have space for it!” she said, slightly embarrassed. “Oh anyways, back to your big city days! It must have been hard to leave all that excitement and culture for this dump.”
“Are you kidding? I’m exactly where I want to be!” he said with disarming sincerity. “This is where the people I care about are, and it’s where the world will start getting better. I wouldn’t leave for, not for a whole sack of coins. Besides, I bet Stanisk is cooking dinner tonight, and he’s the best cook I ever met!”
Prev

All of my memories are so vivid; so complete. Even now I remember the time I spent with you.
I remember coming back from spring break in 1997. My dad dropped me off early; like 1:00 in the afternoon. I sat in my room for three hours or so, waiting for you to come back (to me). When that phone finally rang, I jumped up and ran to it.
I remember playing it cool as I walked down the stairs. For some reason, I took the “A” side stairs down. I caught you with the mod door open and I met your mother, and your grandparents (your mother’s parents).
You had a small basket of candy for me; mostly jellybeans (because those have always been my favorite). I was well on my way to becoming a regular in your family. I had met your sister before Valentine’s Day and your father when he picked you up at the beginning of Spring Break. I had met your aunt (the lawyer) years before as she was the legal advisor for my high school mock trial team in 1993.
Small world.
I remember that you didn’t have any classes on Fridays that quarter. To me, that meant that we could hang out later in your room and you wouldn’t struggle through class the next day. You now allowed me to join you and your friend (who had introduced us two-and-a-half-months prior) to watch ER in your room instead of it just being “girls-night”.
She stopped hanging out after the second week of that and I started spending Thursday thru Saturday nights with you in your bed. It was an extra-long twin, but it was still a twin. We were both pretty skinny back then (I may have put on a few pounds since then).
I remember that night on April 19th, when your pants finally came off all the way and Enigma: Cross Of Changes stopped being loud enough to cover the noises I caused you to make.
I remember when we skipped class that day in May and sat on College Green heckling brother Jed and sister Cindy. The way you were sitting, cross-legged, left a funny sunburn pattern on your legs. You let me put aloe on your burns.
I remember when you were sick. I don’t know if you were feeling anxious or if it was a bad mental health day that made you feel physically ill. I came to you in the afternoon, and you gave me your debit card and PIN number to go up to Bagel Street and get you a Bobcat on a pretzel bagel because you hadn’t eaten all day. I delivered it to you, brought you a bottle of water and sat with you to take care of you.
I remember helping you set up your junior show; carrying pieces and shuffling pedestals and helping adjust the lights so they hit the pieces just so. I remember the night of the show, I stood by and watched everyone “ooh” and “aah” over your work. I remember feeling pride at being at your side.
I remember how amazing that time was. I remember the joy of the process of actively knowing you. I remember the love. I remember the joy. I remember the peace.

Helloo friends, thank you for the mailbox cheer throughout March and April! A whole third of the year has passed already omg? I'm currently working on getting my drivers license! Also been going on morning jogs w/ my mom + brunch afterwards. Really nice :3 Anyways! Many thanks to:
u/strong-finger-6126 - Thank you for the lego plant pot postcard! Wishing you warm and sunny days :D
u/keqani - Thank you for the ty postcard featuring Niagara Falls, the stickers are so cute! And the stamps are really cool, I've never seen these designs before !!
u/cassius1213 (×2) - Thanks for the postcard featuring the year of the dragon stamp, I really like the cancellation mark! And thanks for the national cherry blossom festival pc too, it's really pretty! It's summer all year round where I'm at, but it has been quite rainy lately
u/sufficient_letter883 - Thank you for the Mickey mouse postcard with cute stickers !!
u/reasonable_ad1688 - Thank you for the postcard ft Waimea Bay! The ocean view is sooo pretty I'd love to be there in person !!
u/causarius - GIRLL thank you sooo much for the beautiful Maxident era hyunho card!! Did you cut out pics from an album? Cause they're suspiciously high quality LMFOA but really thank you I love the card and funny message! Love the beautiful washi n stickers deco too! This is going on my kpop wall >:D Will send you smtg back !! <3
u/pinkpengin - Thank you for the postcard of Pink Pengin at Niagara Falls! Its tiny flipper is so adorable omg looks like it's waving at the camera !! Love the silly backstory behind its name + say hi to Link Pengin to me :D
u/shipping_addict - Thank you sm for the gorgeous Mitski card and bookmarks!! Townie is one of my fave songs on bmamc, I'm also rly obsessed with Drunk Walk Home (yes i'm 100% alright) :D I also rly love Strawberry Blonde and Goodbye My Danish Sweetheart, there's js something about those two.... :)
From the March challenges over at meta:
u/unseenbowl - Thank you for the card of swans making a heart in a beautifully decorated envie! I flipped thru my stamp album to check and to my surprise, I have the stamp in my collection?! I'll link a pic in my comment :D Oh and thank you for the goodies <3
u/dpclamavi - Thank you for the colourful postcard featuring such beautiful stamps! The 💌 pattern washi is especially cute !!
u/melhen16 - Thank you for the purple jellyfish card, you've definitely sent it to the right person! :) And the stickers made me sooo happy omg cinnamoroll? Animals having boba? The best :D
u/ch037866 - Thank you for the valentines card with such exquisite paper engineering! I agree, I'd love it if pride could get an official day to be celebrated 😭 It's a month away from now tho I'm so excited! Oh and thank you for the stickers!
I hope May is kind to everyone! Have an amazing week ahead 🥰

Been a while since I tried my hand at some prose writing, been whiling away the ill hours with a bit of solo play. Here's a development I felt inspired to write out:
"“Who is King here, Lord Lancaster?” Said Reinhardt, leaning forward in his high backed chair and gazing across the table at Tobias. Outside the canvas folds of his royal pavilion were the sounds of the army’s war camp; soldiers’ voices shouting drills as officers barked orders, horses whinnied and drove their hooves through mud pregnant with the recent rain. Within the silk curtained heart of the king’s pavilion, candles illuminated Reinhardt’s inner chamber, replete with a long, square table of carved oak, shaped to form lion’s paws at each corner. Across its surface sprawled a map of the region between Hyrun and the northern edge of Shaluna.
Kana wondered if the piece served double duty as the king’s dining table whilst on campaign, and how much it was worth, if it could even be fenced. Her master’s response hooked her back to the conversation.
“You are, your Majesty.” Tobias answered. He was the only one of his retinue to be standing at the foot of the king’s table. Kana, the other thieves, and Sir Percival were all kneeling. All except Kana kept their heads bowed. Her eyes drifted to the small of her master’s back, where he kept his arms folded, presenting a show of aristocratic regality to the king in contrast to his stained, mud soaked travel cloak and leathers. She eyed Tobias’ fingers, watching for any expression of finger-cant. A slow, gentle wave pattern of his fingers told her to stay calm. Stay silent.
“Perhaps you can explain then,” the King replied, resting his unshaven chin on his interlaced fingers. “By what authority do you command I must declare young Tristan outlaw? That I must call for his death?” Kana saw no sign of malice nor aggression in Reinhardt’s relaxed shoulders. In fact, she could see him staring down Tobias from under half lidded eyes, and the edges of his lips betrayed the barest upward curve of a smile. She heard the faintest hiss of Tobias inhaling through his nose.
“I apologize, your Majesty. My manners are … labored, somewhat, by my sister’s condition.” Tobias paused. Again, the activity of soldiers and the ruffling of the pavilion canvas broke the silence, along with the scratching of a scribe’s quill. Reinhardt’s eyes narrowed, before waving the fingers of his right hand, beckoning Tobias.
“I beg you to consider my request, your majesty. For my sister’s health, and for the good of your realm.” Tobias bowed his head and knelt. Reinhardt’s smile grew. Kana clenched her teeth.
“You do yourself a disservice, Lord Lancaster.” Reinhardt smiled, rising from his seat. “Your words serve your passion eloquently. Were I where you kneel, I would rage against the tempest for the lives of those dearest to me.” the King continued, the gentle clinking of his plate greaves filling the inner chamber as he rounded the table toward Tobias, a pair of helmed Kingsglaive flanking him as he approached.
The King now stood before Tobias. Kana tensed as she watched Reinhardt pull off his leather glove, revealing a delicate hand creased with mid-age wrinkles and marked with faded scars. On his exposed finger sat a plump band of gold, housing a ruby.
“Your passion and presence are much missed in Hyrun’s court. It would hearten this old warrior’s heart to have you and your retinue at our side again, once you have completed your task.” Reinhardt continued, extending his hand down toward Tobias, whose eyes drifted upward, first toward the proffered hand and ring, then to the face of the King, whose face was alight with a smile that did not reach his eyes. Kana heard the rustle of her thief-brethren bristling. She slid her hand behind her back, signing them with harsh gestures; QUIET.
Tobias met the King’s eyes as his hand slid upward to take Reinhardt’s palm. “As you command, your Majesty.” said the thieves’ guild grandmaster, before he pressed his lips against the ruby on the King’s ring finger.
Kana wondered who it was she was watching sell the thieves’ guild to the King; Was it her master? Lord Lancaster? Leonette’s brother? Did it matter?"

Before you grab your torches and pitch forks, this is NOT a complaint. If anything, it's kind of the norm for me. I often get jokingly dubbed a "chubby chaser" by friends, but they're definitely not joking. I'd say 99% of the women I've been with in a relationship or just casually seeing have been on the bigger side. I don't really have a "type", as long as I like who they are.
As for me, physically I'm not a bigger guy at all. Often times I'm described as "conventionally attractive". 6'2, long soft thick wavy dark brunette hair (think Tarzan length), blue eyes, good facial hair (not curly or patchy), hairy body (think Sean Connery), muscular build (not too muscular), full lips, roman nose, above-average (you know), with a deep voice.
Personality-wise I've worked on being well spoken and try to be as authentically me as possible when meeting a woman. I don't hide being nerdy, and I don't shy away from telling embarrassing stories at my expense to make someone laugh. Making my partner smile and laugh is one of the most important things to me. I want them to be authentically them and when I'm actually dating someone, I want them to know I appreciate them being in my life. I don't outright spoil constantly, but gifts for birthdays, anniversaries, Valentine's, etc are normal, with little surprises in-between. I want them to be comfortable being themselves, no pressure.
When it comes to the point of this post though, I didn't realize it was almost exclusively bigger women I wind up with. Looking back, it's absolutely true. Apart from less than a handful of times in all my years dating, whenever I tried to pursue interest with a thin to average body size woman, they just weren't interested or attracted to me in the slightest. However, bigger gals seem to latch right onto me if we feel a spark.
Maybe it's just happenstance, but it feels like too much of a pattern to be mere coincidence. If there's any plus size women here, could you enlighten me on why this might be from your perspective? Reminder, this is NOT a complaint.