Timestamp: https://imgur.com/1lOe6l8
Hey all, back with some Send-it Sunday goodness:
GUN STUFF

• Agency Arms EDC Glock 19 Gen 3 Magwell - Also fits Glock 23 and 32. Used but in great shape, but it's missing the hex keys to adjust the screws. It's a quality product, I'm just more of a Sig guy, no matter how I dress up a Glock, lol. - SV $65/TV $75
  
• Magpul Glock 19 Gen 3 Magwell - This was a bit of a disappointment. There's nothing wrong with it, and it works, but it just didn't actually seem to improve loading the mags for me, at least not without a bit of fitting that I wasn't interested in doing. - SV $5 with any other purchase/TV $10 with any other purchase
  
• Clakit and OneTigris Black MOLLE Phone Holsters - Decent pouches, but I run my kits in OCP or Green. Both have a soft liner inside to protect the phone, and both are pretty decently sized, should hold all but the biggest phones. - SV $20 for both/TV $25 for both
  

KNIVES

• Boker Magnum Drop Point Automatic Knife - This thing is actually pretty sweet! A classy little discontinued Auto in AUS8 with a good action and great centering. Has a couple minor scuffs, but is overall very clean! Feels great in the hand, and carries well. - SV $25/TV $30
  
• Buck Trio Pocket Knife - Brand new in the box. I'd sent an older discontinued model in for repair, and they replaced it with this one. - SV $15/TV $20
  
• 4 Pack of Goofy Carabiners - These came as part of a bundle I picked up a while back. They are trying to be Swiss Army Knife carabiners, and all sort-of succeed. I wouldn't trust my life with them, but I would trust my keys, and the tools on them are fairly useful. - SV $15/TV $20
  

MOVIES/TV

• A big HD-DVD Bundle (12 Titles) - This is going to appeal to a VERY specific person, lol. I present to you, a bunch of HD-DVDs! Titles are in the pictures, but some highlights are Apollo 13, Constantine, and U571. All are in good overall shape, but the cover for The Departed is pretty rough. Discs are all in good shape. - SV $30/TV$40
  
• Bundle of Disney Blu-rays (14 titles) - A bundle of newer Disney movies; there's a mix of traditional animated, CG, and live action. All are in great shape, and all include both their blu-ray and DVD, except for Nightmare Before Christmas, which is only the blu-ray. None have any digital codes. - SV $40/TV $45
  
• Hanna-Barbera Complete Series: Speed Buggy and Josie and the Pussycats on DVD - Two DVD collections: the complete series of Speed Buggy and Josie and the Pussycats. Speed Buggy is in great shape, and Josie is still new in package. - SV $15/TV $20
  
• The Magnificent Seven Collection on DVD - A collection of the original 4 Magnificent Seven movies, in a nice DVD boxed set. - SV $5 with any purchase/TV $5 with any purchase
  

VIDEO GAMES

• Skyward Sword (Wii) & Splatoon (WiiU) - Two more classics together. Skyward Sword is in good shape, includes it's manual and soundtrack, and plays on the Wii and WiiU. Splatoon's case is rough, but the game is in great shape! - SV $20/TV$25
  
• Iron Man VR for PS4 - Bought a PSVR recently, and in my frenzy to snatch up games, ended up with two copies of this. It's pretty fun, and as close as you'll get to being Tony Stark this side of the MCU! - SV $10/TV $15
  

TRADE INTERESTS:

• P320/P250 Safariland Level II holster
• A decent minimalist plate carrier in OD or OCP
• Mags (P365, P226, P320/P250, 10/22)
• AR Lower Parts Kit
• NRA National Match type service rifle sling
• A Kershaw Emerson CQC-7B
• Gerber Covert Auto

And, that's all I've got! All prices include shipping, like they should. You must speak up in the comments to call dibs! Once you do, we can switch to PM, and go from there. Thanks for looking!

Hello everyone. I wanted to start by saying I posted this dream on this subreddit a couple of months ago, but I deleted it because I have really bad OCD, and I have been going through a lot of mental health issues, but I really felt inspired to share it again, and I’m going to try to keep the post up this time. If anyone reading this already read this a couple months ago, then feel free to scroll past this. Anyways, let’s get started.
The Dream: My mom and I were in front of Jesus, and he was getting ready to judge us, but he was going to judge me first. I was really nervous though, and he noticed I was nervous, so he came over to me and knelt down and started rubbing my feet to comfort me. I then said to him, “Oh thank you, you’re so kind.” He got up then and was about to judge me, and I told him I was really nervous. He asked what I was nervous about. I told him I was nervously I was going to go to Hell. He asked me why I was nervous about that. I told him that I believe in him and I try my best to follow him, but that I just don’t know if it’s enough. After I said that he started walking towards me with his arms out wide. I started backing up then because I felt intimidated, but I ended up falling down this cliff down a dark, fiery pit. As I was falling Jesus said to me in a sarcastic but still kind way, “Yes because it definitely makes sense that someone like you would go to Hell. Someone who would bring so much light to a place like that.” After he said that I landed in this big pot of water, and I was in a confined area, so I couldn’t move. I was really scared, and knew I was in a part of Hell. I thought about what Jesus had just said to me, and I realized that he was telling me I didn’t belong there in Hell. The water underneath me then started getting warmer, and warmer, and warmer, and I knew it was only a matter of time before it would get hot and start burning me. So in desperation I said “Lord, save me!” Right after I said that I was brought back up in front of Jesus, and he had this light shining all around him. This next part I leave out sometimes because I can’t remember it well, but I’m pretty sure after I was brought back up in front of him he gave me a hug and said something like “See, Hell isn’t for you”, or something like that.
I believe Jesus came to me in a dream to comfort me and to let me know that I shouldn’t be so hard on myself, and that I am on the road to Heaven. I am so happy I had this dream, and I think about it when I worry that I’m on the road to Hell. I hope you found this dream interesting. God Bless Everyone!!✝️😊🙏
P.S. The painting I included is what Jesus looked like in my dream, and the background was all black when I was around him just like in this painting. It’s like I was inside the painting. This painting was painted by a young girl named Akiane Kramarik at the age of 8 after she had dreams of Jesus. I did see this painting before, and it is actually how I picture Jesus, so that’s why I believe he appeared to me like this in my dream.

TL;DR— Nasacort and Singulair have changed my life for the better. Thanks to this thread for those recommendations!
I just wanted to share here (since this thread has been so helpful to me) that I’ve recently found significant relief in starting two new meds— one being Nasacort, a simple OTC spray, the other being Singulair (Montelukast), a Rx drug that I was hesitant to take for years due to its Black label warning from the FDA, but which has helped me tremendously.
Y’all shared in these threads that these medications had changed your life, and I’m so grateful because that gave me the push I needed to try them. I’ve always had pretty bad seasonal allergies, but after having COVID in 2022, my allergies went completely crazy. April through September were a nightmare. I could barely function, had terrible brain fog, debilitating symptoms, had trouble working, couldn’t go outside, began experiencing allergic asthma… the whole works. Hay fever all day every day. I had sinus infections that led to terrible bronchitis. I was living on multiple Zyrtec a day (which honestly didn’t touch my symptoms), Sudafed during the day, Benadryl at night, Flonase, Ipaproprium Bromide spray and a host of supplements (Quercetin, vitamin c, stinging nettle, et.al) I tried EVERYTHING. (And I mean everything— diet, breath work, acupuncture, Ayurvedic treatments, the lot.) The majority of “alternative” / natural remedies have helped a little, but they’re more an extra support for my symptoms… they really didn’t do a whole lot for me.
Someone on here recommended Nasacort. And while it took a few weeks to kick in, when it did, a TOTAL game changer. I am free of chronic postnasal drip for maybe the first time in years?! I cannot believe it. If you haven’t tried Nasacort yet, I highly recommend it. No negative side effects. Safe for longer term use.
Upon searching these threads for how to deal with allergic asthma, I read more about Singulair. I’d always been nervous to take it because it can have bad psychological side effects, but it was nearly my last resort. My allergist told me that some folks have bad side effects, but the majority of people tolerate it well. I’m thrilled to say it’s working SO well for me. (Full disclosure: I also take Wellbutrin, an antidepressant). Singulair makes you a little sleepy, so it’s recommended you take it at night. It can give you very vivid dreams, and in my case, that’s been true. Other than that, zero side effects. My dreams are weirdly way more fun now, lol. Singulair has eliminated my allergic asthma— I can now exercise outside now during allergy season and not have to spend the next day in bed. Hallelujah!
Anyways, as a lifelong allergy sufferer / long Covid allergy mystery, I just wanted to share that these meds have helped me tremendously and I hope everyone can get what they need this allergy season!
Extra disclosure— I am very early in this journey, so no way to tell yet how much it’s helping, but I’m doing allergy immunotherapy with my allergist. I started with shots, but started reacting with major swelling at a very low dosage of the subcutaneous injection, so he has switched me to SLIT— sublingual drops. They’re European dosing guidelines, so very high quality and a high concentration serum. I’m only one month in, so I can’t say decisively how much they’re helping yet because it’s a 5 year process, but I’m hopeful my full court press against my seasonal allergies does the trick.

I left my moms house late february of this year as it was becoming too much to stay. The constantly bullying, belittling and outcasting was unbearable.
I went back home today to get the rest of my things and see my little sister as her birthday is tomorrow. Just to find out she threw away all of my brothers and i clothes, shoes, everything all of it. I want to react, i want to scream at her or beat her face in. She did exactly what my dad did to her years ago when they separated. We moved back with nothing but the clothes on our back and the car we had.
My clothes, my vinyls, my collections of things, my blankets and shoes. All gone. Everything i had left. I’m emotional right now and just got back to my hotel room with my boyfriend. I don’t know what to do besides come here to vent.
My mom has always been the thing holding me back so long. I sent her a long paragraph about a month ago about the things i went through from childhood up until now. Black mothers aren’t easy. Some bully, some belittle, she never made me feel like what i was doing was enough for her. She always needed more. Which baffled me because she’s a 40+ woman with not shit to her name not even a car and can barely pay her bills.
She kicked my brother out after he saw that she got her tax return and while head still paying all her bills she was spending that tax money materialistic things. That upset him and when she was confronted about it by him that’s how she reacted.
A small part of me was hoping that she’d be a little bit human, a little bit of a mother but i’m starting to accept that she never will be. She turned me against my dad all these years only for me to end up seeing exactly what he was talking about .

Hello poeple of Reddit, I’m not trying to waste Your Time but I’m really looking for some reccomendations rn because I really don’t know what to do; I’m 15 yo male with wavy~curly hair, black with brown hue (also random but som times I find like white, blonde, red hairs, any idea explanation would be nice) I don’t really remember I time where my hair was long or anything because I never really focused on my hair but about a year now I started focusing more and I realised I really wanna grow my hair out long like top of my head to passing my shoulders and honestly I for some reason can’t, my hairs gets to like 2,5 inches and just stop I try my best not with like special oils but massage, shampoo etc… and I just don’t know anymore it’s also on the middle of the size is in the awkward face so I don’t know really how to style and people are also telling me to get a haircut but define my sides like give it that shape with fade etc…. And I just hate it, also to mention i THINK I have i have pretty coarse hair to and thin so I don’t have like a ton of hair on my head but it ain’t like I pass my fingers and dont feel nothing so please anyone that got reccomendations to save my hair I would verry much apreciate, and if yall can help with the volume (i think) look all the hairs on my head have a lot of volume and they stand basicly stand and I feel like the oils coming down my scalp just can’t reach my hair (ps I never felt having oily hair before) and yes I want my hairs to just rest/ fall down. Also I don’t know what to style my hair it just looks bad please help 🙏
—Alex

I (38f) have a friend (28f) who is in a bad relationship. I would label it abusive, not physically, but emotionally and mentally. A little over a year ago, my husband and I helped her escape a physically abusive relationship by providing her with a safe place to live (we have a guest house no one was using, so we set it up for her). She lives there still and loves it. Our only ask/rule was that no one else is allowed to move in - it’s single occupancy. She pays minimal rent, well below market for our area, and we’ve continued to pay electric, water, and internet.
Last summer was wonderful, we saw her begin to rediscover herself and her interests, make new friends, prioritize her health, etc. She expressed how happy she was and said repeatedly how she never wanted to lose her identify in a relationship again. Fast forward to the fall and she met someone. Immediately it all changed and she quit doing all that she had been doing for herself. She was late to work every day for weeks. By Christmas we began to hear what we thought were red flags. Being told she was too much, being told what she could and couldn’t say or do, that she couldn’t ask questions or expect her new partner to let her know what was happening in their life, etc, etc. When we finally met her new love interest, we heard for ourselves the disrespect and negging. Constant put downs.
Cut to now. She is over at our house two to three nights a week agonizing over this relationship and alternating between anger and hurt. Every conversation we have with her centers around her relationship. We’ve tried to be supportive and listen, only giving advice when asked. At this point she’s out near a thousand dollars that have been loaned/taken, she’s been screamed at, told she’s not allowed to talk to their parent’s alone, told that she should go have a hot girl summer, and then told that she’s the most important person, the answer to prayers, the love of their life. If she doesn’t answer her phone or text message immediately, she gets awful passive aggressive texts, but then if she sends texts, she’s left on read for a day or so. At this point, her parents, cousins, aunts, and all friends have expressed their concerns and dismay over this relationship. They go a week or two without seeing each other, then they hole up in the guest house for 3,4,5 days at a time.
Last week she told us that she was going to break it off today and asked if we could have dinner and drinks after as she would, understandingly so, be upset. We said of course! Then today I got a text saying not to be alarmed as they were going to be at her place. It’s clear now that they aren’t breaking up and I’m at a loss.
I want to be supportive, but I hate to see my friend being mistreated and so miserable on a daily basis. Selfishly, I miss my friend and my husband and I are exhausted from the two or three late night talks and rants and vents she needs weekly. She’s also drinking heavily and tends to get black out drunk. How can we continue to be supportive of her, when she’s so miserable in this new relationship but cannot seem to let it go? I want to be a safe place for her, but I am also tired and frustrated of the hours and hours each week hearing the latest awfulness and how upset she is. Both my husband and I have expressed to each other that we feel that we haven’t gotten to spend as much quality time with each other lately. How can I be a good friend, but also protect my time, and my husband’s time?

i am 18 and about to graduate and i am seeing my old elementary photos. it hurts to see the state of my hair back then. it was never done in berets, big twists, puffs, never. she never put an ounce of product in there. it was always dry, blown out hair, permed, or it was in braids that i kept for 3+ months.
she used to let me go out with matted or burned off permed hair. i remember how when she took me to a salon the hairstylist would spend some time detangling my hair.
now today she asked me to oil her hair, and to be honest with yall i did not want to do it. i vigorously combed her hair and i remarked on how she used to be very rough with my hair. then she tried to deny my claim, then she said about how she had four kids and a lot on her plate. i said how she neglected my hair and she took it as me telling her that she is a bad mom. i never said that she was a bad mom, i just said that she neglected my hair.
i know i am not crazy. i remember how i would always get perms. i remember the cruel things she said about my hair . i remember i remember. i feel bad for calling her neglectful but it’s just the way that i feel. i remember other black moms coming up to me about how to take care of my hair. i started to do my own hair at 8 years old (probably even younger bc i was maintaining my permed hair.) i know i wasnt perfect with it but i was tired of the bullying. that’s when my hair started to flourish and grow. nowadays it’s constant compliments about how long my hair is, but i still feel like that little girl who was constantly berated about her hair texture by her own parents. i said that i was sorry for roughly combing her hair, but i still felt the same way about her neglecting it. she started to cry which made me feel horrible, i apologized for “calling her a bad mom” but i never said she was. i just feel like that small part of me was never resolved or brought up.
for clarity i was permed up until fourth grade (i took a year break in second grade, and then my father permed my hair again in 3rd). i hated getting braids done when i was little. i always wanted the beret style but my mom never did it. she did apologize but i don’t appreciate how she told my dad that i called her a bad mom. he completely went off on me which made me more angry

Contest Rules For Best Song Of The Month • Updated May 19th, 2024

Click here to see summary of changes.

Best Song Of The Month Contest

Music Or Lose It hosts a monthly Best Song Of The Month contest at this musicorloseittv subreddit community. There is no cash or monetary value prize at this time. This contest is simply just for fun. Winners earn the enjoyment of being voted the best. Winners may cite the win in their biographies and social media posts.
The moderator (mod) is available to help music creators with the entry process, eligibility requirements, and deadlines. Music creators are allowed to contact the mod to ask questions about the contest anytime and mod will reply as soon as possible.
Definitions
Music creator: refers to a solo creator, band, group, choir, orchestra, or duo.
Brand identity: refers to how a creator presents themselves as an entertainer making music for the general public. For example, Simon & Garfunkel as a duo is one brand identity. Paul Simon solo is another brand identity.

Process & Deadlines

🟡 Round 1
1) Discovery ◦ Each month, moderator keeps track of songs shared at this musicorloseittv community.
2) Notifying Music Creators ◦ When a likely eligible song is seen, the u/musicorloseittv profile or u/themusicfanman profile will notify the music creator of likely eligibility within the qualifying song’s post. The reply will indicate, “⏳ This song appears eligible for the Best Song Of The Month contest. Please provide the following information…” If the song is confirmed to be eligible by a mod, the mod will make a reply “🟨 This is confirmation notifying you that this song is eligible and in consideration for the Best Song Of The Month contest…” within the qualifying song’s post.
3) Determining Contestants ◦ The Music Fan man will evaluate all eligible songs by the month’s eligibility deadline. He will then at his discretion choose up to 5 songs to compete.
3) Finalists Post ◦ At this musicorloseittv community, the musicorloseittv profile will announce the top finalists (up to 5) in a post tiled “Contest: Best Song Of The Month Finalists (Insert Month & Year).” This announcement will be done in a post made 4 days before the final day of the month. The post will be made sometime in the morning. The songs will be listed within the post in a manner most representative of music diversity as determined by the musicorloseittv profile mod. All songs available on YouTube will be included in a playlist titled “Best Song Of The Month Contestants • (Insert Month & Year)” hosted by the musicorloseittv channel on YouTube. Songs not available on YouTube will be excluded from the playlist. The playlist will be mentioned in this post. The available playlist will help voters get familiar with the songs.
The u/musicorloseittv profile or u/themusicfanman profile will notify the music creators of qualifying for the contest in their post of the song. The reply will indicate, “✅ Congratulations. Your song qualifies for the Best Song Of The Month contest…”
4) Voting ◦ The “Contest: Best Song Of The Month Finalists (Insert Month & Year)” post will specify a duration of 3 consecutive dates during which music fans can vote for only 1 of the top finalists. Voting occurs by the voters making a reply to the post in the following manner: “🗳️ I vote for….” Failing to vote in this manner will result in vote not being counted. To best ensure vote accuracy, voters must not use the “🗳️” emoji anywhere else in the post’s comments section. Music creators may vote for another music creator yet may not vote for themselves. For music creators, it’s “word of honor” voting. The top vote earning song within these three days will become the winner.
‣ Community moderator profiles musicorloseittv and onesongoftheday will abstain from voting. Also, themusicfanman and any special judge involved will also abstain from voting - unless they’re needed to serve as a tie breaker, in the event of a tie preventing a clear winner. If themusicfanman and any special judge involved are needed as a tie breaker, they must come to a consensus to achieve tie breaking. If no special judge is involved, then themusicfanman alone will serve as the tie breaker.
🟢 Winner Declaration!
Declaration Post ◦ At this musicorloseittv community, on the final day of the month, the musicorloseittv profile will announce the winner in a post tiled “Congratulations! 🎉 Best Song Of The Month Winner (Insert Month & Year)” in a post dedicated to celebrating the song. Using the sticky-post feature, the post will be prominently displayed the home page of the musicorloseittv subreddit community for ≈ 24 hours.
Achievement ◦ The contest winner may promote their song as:
My song “Song Title” won:
🏅Best Song Of The Month By Community Vote
(Insert Month & Year)
At The Music Or Lose It Community
The winner may promote themselves and the song as the winner at venues like X/Twitter, Facebook, Threads, or their YouTube channel’s Community feed. The winner may also cite the win in their biographies online including their personal website.
🏆 Song Of The Year
A similar Song Of The Year vote will occur in December. It will be similarly organized and scheduled to conclude on the final day of the year. To determine a Song Of The Year by the end of the year, December’s monthly contest will only be ≈ 2 weeks. Why? Because we need time to conclude The Song Of The Year vote by the end of the year. Additionally, this is a busy time of year for many people. What’s more, non-Christmas music released in December is typically overshadowed by Christmas music. It seems to be a bad idea to release new-original music in late December. See opinion commentary: The Best And Worst Months To Release Music.
Achievement ◦ The contest winner may promote their song as:
🏆 Best Song Of The Year By Community Vote
(Insert Year)
At The Music Or Lose It Community
The winner may promote themselves and the song as the winner at venues like X/Twitter, Facebook, Threads, or their YouTube channel’s Community feed. The winner may also cite the win in their biographies online including their personal website.

Eligibility

Here are the rules for the Best Song Of The Month contest organized by Music Or Lose It just for fun. The eligibility rules are intended to make this contest as fair as possible to the music creator participants.
**👤 Personal: **
Requirements:
✔️ Must be an actual human.
✔️ Must be 17 years of age or older.
✔️ Must be a music creator abiding by the rules of this musicorloseittv subreddit community.
✔️ Must be a music creator posting using either your personal profile or your brand profile as a music entertainer.
Ineligible:
🚫 Profiles run by publicists, music labels, or channels hosting performers.
🚫 People posing as other humans using imitation avatar type creations by artificial intelligence (AI).
**🗿 Music creator’s stature status: **
Eligible:
✔️ Unsigned amateur or unsigned professional yet lesser known.
✔️ Lesser known music creators who have not yet achieved two different songs with over 500,000 views/listens and are signed to deals with small to medium-sized record companies or seeming one-song-per-time type distributors.
✔️ Lesser known music creators who have not yet achieved two different songs with over 500,000 views/listens and are signed to deals with to a major label.
**📅 Release date: **
Eligible:
✔️ Your song must be published and accessible to the masses anytime between November 15^th of the prior year and 5 days before the final day of the current month.
**💽 Songwriting, singing, & recording: **
Requirements:
✔️ You must be the copyright owner of the song (lyrics and sound recording) or authorized/licensed to perform the song by the copyright owner as the first original performer.
✔️ An exception is made if your song is an authorized/licensed remix or includes authorized/licensed interpolation or sampling content by the copyright owner in collaboration with any other amateur music creator(s) or unsigned professional yet lesser known music creator(s). The aforementioned release date also applies to any remix, interpolation, or sampling content.
✔️ Collaborations within the aforementioned rules are allowed so long as the song is entered into the contest by the lead. Lead refers to the first person named in the collaboration.
Ineligible:
🚫 Copyright/trademark violations.
🚫 Songs written by artificial intelligence (AI).
🚫 Songs primarily generated artificial intelligence (AI).
🚫 Cover, parody, nor artificial intelligence (AI) imitation.
🚫 Songs likely to be very divisive for political or religious/anti-religious reasons.
🚫 Collaborations within deceased music creators akin to “Unforgettable” by Natalie Cole featuring Nat "King" Cole.
🚫 Interpolations, remixes, or samplings of a song by a creator signed to a record company of any size or signed to a one-song-per-time type distributor.
🚫 Song with hard cussing. No variations of F word, S word, C word, D word, N word (er or a), ahole word(s), or sexually vulgar words.
🚫 Extremely sexual, gang promoting, violent, or especially scary/gory/maleficent/evil aesthetic content.
🚫 Songs primarily about brands. For example: “I Love Driving Such-And-Such Brand Name Trucks.”
**👂 Recording quality: **
Allowed:
✔️ Professional quality recordings (live or studio).
✔️ Amateur quality (including songs record in a bedroom, car, outdoors, etc…) yet reasonably pleasant sounding.
✔️ Demos are welcome.
Ineligible:
🚫 Live records with too much interfering audience noise.
🚫 Recordings with excessively poor sound quality (abrasive on the ears, difficult to hear).
**📏 Song length: **
Requirement:
✔️ Minimum of 01:15 minutes up to 10:00 minutes.
**💻 Distribution venues: **
Requirements:
✔️ A song published and accessible to the general public masses at a well-known music website such as YouTube, SoundCloud, or Bandcamp.
✔️ A song uploaded to a channel hosting live performances is allowed so long as the song is entered into the contest directly by the creator and so long as the creator confirms permission by the channel. Confirmation can be done in either your original upload URL link source or at this community within your posts’ body-text section or a reply to the post.
✔️ The song’s upload date must be visible at the distribution venue website.
⚠️ If you enter this contest with a Spotify or TikTok URL link, ensure you’ve provided a link for the entire song (not a teasesampler) in a manner that does not require login; ensure the publish date is visible; and be weary of looping flashing visuals necessitating a “⚠️Possible Seizure Trigger Risk Warning.” Failing to do this will result in ineligibility.
Ineligible:
🚫 Login required to access the song.
🚫 Payment required to access the song.
🚫 Uploads of songs directly to Reddit.
🚫 Links not fully available to the public such as an “unlisted” YouTube video.
**🖼️ Song’s artwork: **
Definition: artwork refers to the image/drawing/photo/visuals accompanying your individual song at a music distribution venue such as YouTube, SoundCloud, or Bandcamp. It is sometimes referred to as “cover art.”
Requirements:
✔️ You must be the original creator of the song’s accompanying artwork.
✔️ Alternatively, you must be the copyright owner of the artwork if you paid to have it made. Otherwise you must be authorized/licensed to publish the artwork as part of the presentation of your song.
✔️ Artwork primarily generated by artificial intelligence (AI) is allowed so long as you are authorized/licensed by the AI source to publish the artwork as part of your song’s public presentation. However this is advised against because public sentiment may be hostile towards AI generated content.
✔️ If your song’s artwork uses aspects of copyrighted, creative commons, or “free” material content, you must confirm you’ve got authorization/licensing to use the content as part of your song’s public presentation. Confirmation can be done in either your original upload URL link source or at this community within your posts’ body-text section or a reply to the post.
✔️ Your own logo that you own the copyright to may be displayed in the song’s accompanying artwork (including on a person wearing a hat or T-shirt).
Ineligible:
🚫 Copyright/trademark violations.
🚫 Parody notably displayed in the artwork.
🚫 Visible logos of any brand other than your own logo as a music entertainer.
🚫 Extremely sexual, gang promoting, violent, or especially scary/gory/maleficent/evil aesthetic content.
**🎥 Song’s music video (optional): **
Including a link to a music video is optional.
Requirements:
✔️ You must be the original creator of the song’s music video visuals including: animation; moving graphics; prominently featured still artwork or photos.
✔️ Alternatively, you must be the copyright owner of all the video’s visuals if you paid to have them made. Otherwise you must be authorized/licensed to publish all the video’s visuals as part of the presentation of your song’s accompanying music video.
✔️ Visuals (including: animation; moving graphics; prominently featured still artwork or photos) primarily generated by artificial intelligence (AI) are allowed so long as you are authorized/licensed by the AI source to publish the artwork as part of your song’s public presentation. However this is advised against because public sentiment may be hostile towards AI generated content.
✔️ If your song’s accompanying music video uses aspects of copyrighted, creative commons or “free” material, you must confirm you’ve got authorization/licensing to use the copyrighted material as part of your song’s public presentation within the accompanying music video. Confirmation can be done in either your original upload URL link source or at this community within your posts’ body-text section or a reply to the post.
✔️ Your own logo that you own the copyright to may be displayed in the video (including on a person wearing a hat or T-shirt).
✔️ Allowed music videos include “Official Music Video,” “Live Performance,” “Dance Video Version,” “Animated Video,” or “Lyrics Video.”
✔️ If you opt for an “Animated Video” or a “Lyrics Video,” you must be authorized/licensed to publish all the video’s visuals as part of the presentation of your song’s accompanying music video. If you hire an animator or use AI or an app/software designed to create music video lyrics, you must be authorized/licensed by the animator or AI source or app/software creator to publish the animation and/or lyrics as part of the presentation of your song’s accompanying music video.
✔️ If you opt for a “Dance Video Version,” the dancing and/or choreography must be originally created for your song’s accompanying music video. If you hire a choreographer and/or dancers or collaborate for free or for barter, you must be authorized/licensed by the choreographer and/or dancers to publish the video’s dancing/choreography visuals as part of the presentation of your song’s accompanying music video.
✔️ “Official Audio” type music videos are allowed so long as an accompanying still image complies with the aforementioned “Song’s artwork” rules. Alternatively, if the “Official Audio” music videos has moving visuals, it must comply with these above-mentioned “Song’s music video” rules.
✔️ “Live Performance” music videos may be made from your home/cafield (pretty much anywhere decent and reasonable) or from one of your well-recorded performances from a show. Be sure to avoid copyright and trademark violations in the video.
⚠️ Brief uses of music distribution venue logos at the end or start of a music video may be allowed at mod’s discretion, when the intent is to inform the viewer of venue availability of the song. This is however discouraged unless the distribution venue, at their website, specifies this is allowed. Music videos that display any trademark logos (other than the music creator’s own copyrighted logo) entirely throughout are ineligible.
Ineligible:
🚫 Copyright/trademark violations.
🚫 Notable use of virtual reality program recordings.
🚫 Notable use of filters from apps/websites similar to Snapchat.
🚫 Parody of intellectual property characters prominently displayed in the video.
🚫 Notably visible logos of any brand other than your own logo as a music entertainer.
🚫 Notable display of brand products with visible logos including but not limited to toys, stuffed animals, autos, hats, T-Shirts.
🚫 Extremely sexual, gang promoting, violent, or especially scary/gory/maleficent/evil aesthetic content.
🚫 Limitations on involving minors (under 18 yo): no minors doing dangerous stunts; no depictions of minors participating in drugs/drinking/smoking or very sexual behavior (including sexual dancing); do not prominently feature children that are not your own in the video (exception may be made if a relative only allows you to involve their children).
⚖️ Quantities:
Requirements:
✔️ One song per music creator’s brand identity.
✔️ If a music creator uploads more than one of their brands’ potentially eligible songs, the music creator must inform mod which song they prefer to be included in the contest.
✔️ A music creator may win this Song Of The Month contest up to three consecutive times. If this happens, thereafter the creator must abstain from the contest for the next month and then may return to the contest after that 1-month eligibility hiatus.
Ineligible:
🚫 Every collaboration will not automatically be considered a new brand. For example, Robert Plant and Alison Krauss collaborating one time should not be considered a brand. Robert Plant & Alison Krauss making an entire album together should be considered a brand. Music creators attempting to enter multiple songs under multiple brand names will be scrutinized. If there is no social media presence for any additional brands, their songs will likely be rejected as “also eligible” by mods. If this happens, the music creator will have to enter only 1 song.
**🖱️ Accounts you may post from: **
Requirements:
✔️ Your post must be made directly from either your personal Reddit account profile or your brand’s Reddit account profile.
✔️ If you have a medical condition necessitating aid, on your behalf, you may appoint a publicist, manager, caretaker, helper, spouse, partner, friend, guardian, or family member to post from either your personal Reddit account profile or your brand’s Reddit account profile.
✔️ If your song is from a band, group, choir, orchestra, or duo brand, the post must be made directly from either from one of the members’ personal Reddit account profiles or from your brand’s Reddit account profile.
✔️ If your song is collaboration, the post must be made directly from either the lead’s personal Reddit account profile or from the lead’s brand Reddit account profile.
✔️ If you want another song to be a part of the contest from another brand identity you are involved with, the song must be posted by a Reddit account profile for that separate brand – or one of the brand collaborators’ personal Reddit account profile.
👩🏾‍🏫 Presentation at this musicorloseittv community:
Requirements:
✔️ You must post a link to the song at this musicorloseittv community by tapping “+” on smartphone or clicking “+Create a post” on desktop/laptop. You must select the “My Song” flair.
✔️ Your post must be done by the “Title & Link Share Only method.”
✔️ The song’s URL you provide must be of the standalone song upload - not part of a playlist URL link.
✔️ You may post an audio only upload URL link (such as an individual song published at SoundCloud or Bandcamp). Alternatively, you may post a music video link from a venue like YouTube.
✔️ You may include a smartlink for the individual song (not album or playlist) within your posts’ body-text section or a reply to the post.
✔️ You may title the post whatever you want within the community’s rules and the contest’s rules. Remember: no vague titles; limit post title emojis to no more than 2 (if you decide to use them); and don’t request feedback.
✔️ Your post title may be done in the style of “Entertainer - Song Tile” (or something similar). Alternatively, the post title may be more elaborate. For example: “This Is My Latest Song. It’s About A Wonderful Time I Fell In Love.”
✔️ In your posts’ body-text section or in a reply comment, optionally you may share details about the song that you feel the audience would enjoy knowing.
**📝 Needed information: **
Requirements:
✔️ Within either your posts’ body-text section or within a reply comment at your post, provide the following information – as is:
❇️ Contest entry for your consideration:
• Entertainer's Name - Song Title:
• Published on: [Insert date & year. Refers to date published at your URL link source]
• Genre:
• I am an independent creator unsigned I am signed to [insert label name]
• Interpolations/remixes/samplings disclosure: N/A this song contains authorized/licensed interpolations/remixes/samplings [specify] of another song released since 11/15 of the prior year in collaboration with other unsigned music creator(s)[specify]. The link to the original song is [insert URL link – publish date from URL link source must be visible].
• Al disclosure: N/A. A portion of this [song/artwork/music video] is created by Al. Explanation: [specify if this applies to song/artwork/music video].
• Copyright disclosure for song: I confirm I’m the copyright owner of all the contents of this song (lyrics and recording) as it is presented including the artwork [(if applicable) and music video]
Copyrighted content I am authorized/licensed to use commercially in the promotion of my song include: [insert details]
• [optional/voluntary] Confirmation of substantial human involvement: A real human substantially arranged/compose this music. [Note: This type disclosure is strongly encouraged by creators who use instrument sounds and beats from apps/software in substation of instruments played live at the time of recording. This is especially encouraged for music creators who do not show their face and/or don’t show themselves creating the music in a music video or behind the scenes video. For music fans opposed to music primarily created by AI, this type of disclosure can be helpful and assuring.]
• Lyrics: [insert URL link or embed URL link into “Lyrics” text] [note if the lyrics are available at the upload source] [only if you're the copyright owner of the lyrics, you may entirely include them] [type “vocalized” or “instrumental” if applicable]
Ineligible:
🚫 Uploads of songs to Reddit.
🚫 No engagement pleas disguised as feedback requests in post titles nor in your posts’ body-text section. No feedback requests.
**👨🏼‍⚖️ Copyright/trademark compliance: **
‣ Important note: Aforementioned rules already state you either must be the copyright owner of the content you enter for this contest or you must be authorized/licensed to commercially use the content by the copyright owner. Aforementioned rules already state you must disclose use of copyrighted, creative commons, or “free” material. Mods reserve the right to ask for additional proof for confirmation. Suspected violations will be removed at mod’s discretion. You are strongly encouraged to upload your best, newest, utmost original content.
‣ Resources:
U.S. Copyright Office, Copyright in General https://www.copyright.gov/help/faq/faq-general.html
What Musicians Should Know about Copyright by U.S. Copyright Office https://www.copyright.gov/engage/musicians
U.S. Copyright Office Fair Use Index by U.S. Copyright Office https://www.copyright.gov/fair-use
**🤝 Mutual Support **
Requirements:
✔️ You must be active in the musicorloseittv community regarding mutual support and engagement with other posts. You must post a comment reply to at least two other posts of any kind at the musicorloseittv community before the final day of the month. Failing to do so will result in disqualification.
Ineligible:
🚫 Posting then ghosting the community.
**😎👍 Encouraging fans to vote: **
Ineligible:
🚫 You are not allowed to ask for votes in anywhere in the musicorloseittv community’s comments section.
🚫 Music creators may not offer anything to anyone whatsoever in exchange for voting for them.
Allowed:
✔️ If you see a music fan has voted for you, you may thank them in a reply comment.
✔️ You may make social media posts at venues like X/Twitter, Facebook, Threads or your YouTube channel’s Community feed to encourage your fans to join this musicorloseittv subreddit community and vote for your song.
Example post:
My song “Song Title” is a finalist for Best Song Of The Month at the musicorloseittv community at Reddit. At [insert URL link] please vote for me and my song. Thank you.
**📜 Rules adherence: **
‣ Important note: If you are new to the musicorloseittv community as either a music fan voting or music creator entering the contest, latitude may be given as you get familiar here. It’s up to mod’s discretion.
‣ Important note: This contest is just for fun. Likewise playing boardgames or cards with friends is also just for fun yet people expect rules to be followed.
**🕊️ Truthfulness: **
Requirements:
✔️ Contestants and voters are expected to behave honorably and ethically.
Ineligible:
🚫 If anyone is ever discovered cheating or being dishonest akin to author James Frey or music entertainers Milli Vanilli, they will be disqualified and also likely be banned from this community.
Additional Info
If you do not want to be in the contest yet want to continue sharing your songs in this community, it is totally ok. Please inform the moderator. A “Message the mods” option is at the homepage.
In circumstances where uncertainty arises due to an unforeseen issue not addressed here in this outline of rules, moderators reserve the right to approve or disapprove eligibility. Moderators reserve the right to disqualify any song for any reason. Unfortunately, not every contest can perfectly satisfy all participant hopefuls.
Just do your best, don’t take it too seriously, and have fun.
Thank you.
END

My sister is 17 and she is just always mad at me and never talks to me unless she wants something, she will find the smallest things to get mad at me for. But the second she wants something, she acts like nothing happened. Eg. I knock on her door and ask her if I can show her a funny video, she gets mad and says no then tells me to get out and shuts and locks her door behind me. But then will barge into my room when she feels like it. I got a lock on my door, not a strong one but she tried coming in when I had it locked and then she said what the fuck and broke it and still came in anyway and then got mad at me for having a lock. I also had a sign on my door saying knock please and she still just comes in anyway. If I am on the toilet and she needs to go then she will get mad at me and it's the same for the shower, I am not in there for long (about 5-10 minutes) which is shorter than how long she is in the bathroom. But god forbid I ask her to hurry up, also she will steal my stuff, the other day her charger broke and she asked to use mine for a couple hours, they are both black chargers and I asked for mine back and she gave me her broken one. I had this rubiks cube on my desk that I found in my box of old stuff and decided to complete it and use it as a decoration. My sister comes in and sees it and yells at me saying it's hers and takes it out, I asked for it back and she said I could have it back if I could find it. I found it and told her I did and then she comes in a couple hours later and asks if I took it and I said yes I did, I told you I did and she yells at me and takes it and says don't go through my fucking stuff. She isn't even going to use it so I don't see why I couldn't have kept it anyway, she will also buy stuff that she wouldn't ever buy, then get mad if I use it because I thought mum bought it. She is like this to me 24/7 unless she wants something, she will say to me if I drive you to the shops can you go in and buy something for me? I will say no and she says please you can get something too and I say no because are always mad at me. She will say whatever this is why no one likes you and then call me some sort of insult and either hit my door or just open it when she walks past. I got really bad sleep the other night and was trying to have a nap and she asked my the same question and I said no because I was almost asleep and she slams my door really loud and it made my ears hurt for hours.

I'm posting this to a few bpd communities to try to reach more people with different perspectives. If you're active in other communities and have seen this post recently I apologize!
I'm a good person. I know that. I love people with my whole heart. But my behaviors (or at least motivation behind behaviors) have not always shown that, even if they were disguised as "good". Something that has helped me A LOT lately is thinking "am I doing this act to help someone, or to make myself look good." The statement varies slightly according to the situation of course, but honestly it has helped stop many attention seeking behaviors. This has helped me modify and adjust how I react to situations.
For example, I daydream every night before bed about me or characters from a show being either a victim or a hero. One or the other (thanks black and white thinking). Basically I write fanfiction in my head. It usually contains dark subjects like SA, abuse, death, etc. When I first started giving myself time to daydream before bed I noticed a decrease in attention seeking behaviors in real life, however as the years went on I started to convince myself that those things I was purposely dreaming of were ok to do irl if given the possibility. Anyway what caused this revelation is that my favorite resident at a SNF I work for is in the hospital with an unclear fate. In my daydream time about a week ago I imagined different scenarios and played through them. Doing this led to me really thinking about why I do things. One of the scenarios I had to run through of course was "what happens if the resident passes." So I imagined myself at her funeral and her family member asked if anyone else wanted to speak. So I did. But as I was dreaming about what I would say "...when you see someone everyday for two and a half years you get to love them. She watched me grow up and gave me some of the best advice one could ask for..." I realized I was thinking about the family feeling sorry for me. I saw her daughter looking at me thinking "oh that poor person loved my mom so much, they must be hurting a lot." This made me snap open my eyes and look at the ceiling. I realized i was imagining my favorite resident's funeral (i usually try to picture future scenarios in my daydreaming time to prepare because it soothes anxiety, i don't plan to stop fully but at least be more conscious of my actions to those scenarios in my dreams) and picturing her FAMILY, feeling sorry for ME.
Ever since I had that dream about a week ago it has completely changed my perspective of how I go about things and I hope I keep this in mind. Humans are inherently selfish. Every action we do have some form of self satisfaction to it. Even something as simple as tying your shoe laces so you don’t fall, is motivated by a level of selfishness. That is normal. However, I want to make sure I do things for the right reasons even if the outcome of the deed wouldn't change. If I volunteer l to help someone with a task is it because there are other people in the room watching me and I want to look good? Is it because I want this person to like me and think I'm a good person? Or, is it because humans deserve help and kindness and if I have the (mental, physical, financial) capacity to do so I WANT to help someone just to make their lives easier.
Like I stated earlier, it is very human to have to think of yourself in others shoes to be empathetic in most situations, I mean that's what the golden rule is (for example, I don't want to see people in pain because I know what pain feels like, therefore I do my best to prevent and reduce pain in others)! But in my experience people with bpd tend to have a little extra motivation: how we are perceived to others as "good" to prevent abandonment, or for validation/attention seeking that we feel we deserve and honestly sometimes NEED. As basic as it sounds I'm trying to be more aware of my motivation behind my actions. Who new it would take 7 years of CBT and 1 year of DBT to get to this point. I feel kind of silly honestly.
I am a self aware person, however that often made my attention seeking behaviors worse. This made my behaviors worse because I would rationalize them as "well I'm communicating to people what my needs are, therefore if they don't react appropriately they are at fault. If I'm genuinely suicidal and I let my friends know then they should shower me with love and concern. Even if I've been genuinely suicidal over many 'little' things that they now think it's a boy who cried wolf situation. I've identified my feelings (which really are real, just because they seem dramatic doesn't mean im not feeling them, so me it's so intense and real, to them it's purely for attention) and communicated so I must be doing things right." Now I realize that crying to my coworkers while they are trying to work is not acceptable because they are acquaintances and we are at work. Another thing that has caused me to have trouble identifying what is or isn't okay is understanding that just because I would drop everything to comfort a random coworkeacquaintance at work does not mean everyone else is comfortable, has the emotional capacity, feels safe, or feels motivated, to do the same. In my mind everyone takes the golden rule (treat others the way you want to be treated) so literally. It's why I'm seen as clingy and can't often tell the difference between romantic, platonic, acquaintance relationships. Because I dont care if we met a week ago if I like you and you seem to like my you're my friend in my mind and I got your back.
So yeah I just wanted to share/rant lol. Do you guys, gals, and nonbinary pals have any recommendations for how to deal with needing to be listened to or almost "coddled" sometimes? For me it was the daydreaming that I use for my anxiety but I'm not sure if that's the healthiest for me anymore. It definitely helped for a long time, but I think some change would do me some good. Let me know your techniques and coping skills you use when you find yourself in a similar position!

I'm posting this to a few bpd communities to try to reach more people with different perspectives. If you're active in other communities and have seen this post recently I apologize!
I'm a good person. I know that. I love people with my whole heart. But my behaviors (or at least motivation behind behaviors) have not always shown that, even if they were disguised as "good". Something that has helped me A LOT lately is thinking "am I doing this act to help someone, or to make myself look good." The statement varies slightly according to the situation of course, but honestly it has helped stop many attention seeking behaviors. This has helped me modify and adjust how I react to situations.
For example, I daydream every night before bed about me or characters from a show being either a victim or a hero. One or the other (thanks black and white thinking). Basically I write fanfiction in my head. It usually contains dark subjects like SA, abuse, death, etc. When I first started giving myself time to daydream before bed I noticed a decrease in attention seeking behaviors in real life, however as the years went on I started to convince myself that those things I was purposely dreaming of were ok to do irl if given the possibility. Anyway what caused this revelation is that my favorite resident at a SNF I work for is in the hospital with an unclear fate. In my daydream time about a week ago I imagined different scenarios and played through them. Doing this led to me really thinking about why I do things. One of the scenarios I had to run through of course was "what happens if the resident passes." So I imagined myself at her funeral and her family member asked if anyone else wanted to speak. So I did. But as I was dreaming about what I would say "...when you see someone everyday for two and a half years you get to love them. She watched me grow up and gave me some of the best advice one could ask for..." I realized I was thinking about the family feeling sorry for me. I saw her daughter looking at me thinking "oh that poor person loved my mom so much, they must be hurting a lot." This made me snap open my eyes and look at the ceiling. I realized i was imagining my favorite resident's funeral (i usually try to picture future scenarios in my daydreaming time to prepare because it soothes anxiety, i don't plan to stop fully but at least be more conscious of my actions to those scenarios in my dreams) and picturing her FAMILY, feeling sorry for ME.
Ever since I had that dream about a week ago it has completely changed my perspective of how I go about things and I hope I keep this in mind. Humans are inherently selfish. Every action we do have some form of self satisfaction to it. Even something as simple as tying your shoe laces so you don’t fall, is motivated by a level of selfishness. That is normal. However, I want to make sure I do things for the right reasons even if the outcome of the deed wouldn't change. If I volunteer l to help someone with a task is it because there are other people in the room watching me and I want to look good? Is it because I want this person to like me and think I'm a good person? Or, is it because humans deserve help and kindness and if I have the (mental, physical, financial) capacity to do so I WANT to help someone just to make their lives easier.
Like I stated earlier, it is very human to have to think of yourself in others shoes to be empathetic in most situations, I mean that's what the golden rule is (for example, I don't want to see people in pain because I know what pain feels like, therefore I do my best to prevent and reduce pain in others)! But in my experience people with bpd tend to have a little extra motivation: how we are perceived to others as "good" to prevent abandonment, or for validation/attention seeking that we feel we deserve and honestly sometimes NEED. As basic as it sounds I'm trying to be more aware of my motivation behind my actions. Who new it would take 7 years of CBT and 1 year of DBT to get to this point. I feel kind of silly honestly.
I am a self aware person, however that often made my attention seeking behaviors worse. This made my behaviors worse because I would rationalize them as "well I'm communicating to people what my needs are, therefore if they don't react appropriately they are at fault. If I'm genuinely suicidal and I let my friends know then they should shower me with love and concern. Even if I've been genuinely suicidal over many 'little' things that they now think it's a boy who cried wolf situation. I've identified my feelings (which really are real, just because they seem dramatic doesn't mean im not feeling them, so me it's so intense and real, to them it's purely for attention) and communicated so I must be doing things right." Now I realize that crying to my coworkers while they are trying to work is not acceptable because they are acquaintances and we are at work. Another thing that has caused me to have trouble identifying what is or isn't okay is understanding that just because I would drop everything to comfort a random coworkeacquaintance at work does not mean everyone else is comfortable, has the emotional capacity, feels safe, or feels motivated, to do the same. In my mind everyone takes the golden rule (treat others the way you want to be treated) so literally. It's why I'm seen as clingy and can't often tell the difference between romantic, platonic, acquaintance relationships. Because I dont care if we met a week ago if I like you and you seem to like my you're my friend in my mind and I got your back.
So yeah I just wanted to share/rant lol. Do you guys, gals, and nonbinary pals have any recommendations for how to deal with needing to be listened to or almost "coddled" sometimes? For me it was the daydreaming that I use for my anxiety but I'm not sure if that's the healthiest for me anymore. It definitely helped for a long time, but I think some change would do me some good. Let me know your techniques and coping skills you use when you find yourself in a similar position!

I still like Kendricks music because he makes great rap music for but Kendrick's character is inconsistent and hypocritical and I've realized this long before this rap beef kicked off. For that reason it's hard for me to listen to the fake woke raps for an extended period of time.
And before a Kdot Stan breaks their keyboard typing "he is not your savior" at break-neck speed, first he was never a "savior" to me he was always just a talented rap artist, and yes goofy he isn't a "savior" because of how fake woke, inconsistent and hypocritical he is which i criticize highly because he is someone who tried to portray himself as a community leader.
Kendrick is very hypocritical, you can't criticize other rappers who hook up with "fake" women and u going #1 with future, you can't act like u really give a shit about protecting women or people with "weird" cases and ur main feature on your album is Kodak black, he got a weird case kendrick why is he around? Kendrick acts like he's a religious man but says his family got closer when he chose humanity over religion, but STILL raps like he is a super religious man. Imagine going to church and the pastor says "today we're choosing man over god!" if you are religious person u'd run out of there fast. True religious men don't pick and choose what they like from the bible, like either keep the book or have the balls to drop the book like many others have done, stop trying to constantly play both sides because it's fake. I have far more respect for people who have turned away from their religious doctrine because they don't agree, than people who try to play half-way christian. (True religious men would also not try to portray themselves as Jesus on stage because, quite frankly the bible warns about false prophets and yes kendrick as also called himself a prophet in his music, which made me laugh the first time i heard it. The egos of rap niggas is something else, but thats nothing new. )
This is something kendrick as done since the very beginning, this constant playing of both sides and its super cringe "i'm a close cut to common and Gucci mane" "i'm christ with a shooter" In real life you need to either pick trying to heal your community or pick your gang banging buddies. If you really want to heal your community you need leave ANY and EVERYONE still in the streets behind because these are the people who harm their own communities, many of whom have done crimes that they should be locked up for. The gangster but woke shit is just what every other street nigga tries to do that no one takes serious but Kendrick gets the pass because he can rap. It's fake when a random street nigga tries to do it, it's fake when kendrick tries to do it.
He says fuck the industry but he and pgLang are signed to Interscope, he is still very much a part of the industry. There's just a lot of inconsistencies in Kendrick's messages which is why i say he is a fake woke rapper that makes really good rap music.

I feel that Whenever I hear people complain about portrayals of Christ which depict him as white. I find it interesting because people misunderstand portrayals of Christ as actual physical depictions of Him when they are truly theological pieces. A portrayal of Christ is not supposed to capture his true physical attributes, but instead to capture his message while on earth. When an artist portrays Christ as white, black, Asian, or European, there’s always a motive, and that motive is to show to those seeing it that Christ was like them! When the Ethiopian Orthodox Church depicts Christ as black. They are not thinking, 'Wow, Christ was black.' They are thinking, 'Christ was like us, and we are black,' so why would they track the people groups of Aramaic speakers and the migration patterns of people groups into ancient Judea in order to get his exact pigment? They are black and most people they interact with are as well! It’s truly just frivolous. So why make him brown The point is to capture that Christ was here and He was like us, and because He was like us, we can overcome troubles in our daily life just like Christ. So the next time you see a painting of Christ as white or black or Asian, do not think this is the incorrect color. He should be brown. Instead, think how beautiful it is that these people, with the help of this image, can see that Christ was just like them and he overcame his troubles. What're your thoughts?

I'm a good person. I know that. I love people with my whole heart. But my behaviors (or at least motivation behind behaviors) have not always shown that, even if they were disguised as "good". Something that has helped me A LOT lately is thinking "am I doing this act to help someone, or to make myself look good." The statement varies slightly according to the situation of course, but honestly it has helped stop many attention seeking behaviors. This has helped me modify and adjust how I react to situations.
For example, I daydream every night before bed about me or characters from a show being either a victim or a hero. One or the other (thanks black and white thinking). Basically I write fanfiction in my head. It usually contains dark subjects like SA, abuse, death, etc. When I first started giving myself time to daydream before bed I noticed a decrease in attention seeking behaviors in real life, however as the years went on I started to convince myself that those things I was purposely dreaming of were ok to do irl if given the possibility. Anyway what caused this revelation is that my favorite resident at a SNF I work for is in the hospital with an unclear fate. In my daydream time about a week ago I imagined different scenarios and played through them. Doing this led to me really thinking about why I do things. One of the scenarios I had to run through of course was "what happens if the resident passes." So I imagined myself at her funeral and her family member asked if anyone else wanted to speak. So I did. But as I was dreaming about what I would say "...when you see someone everyday for two and a half years you get to love them. She watched me grow up and gave me some of the best advice one could ask for..." I realized I was thinking about the family feeling sorry for me. I saw her daughter looking at me thinking "oh that poor person loved my mom so much, they must be hurting a lot." This made me snap open my eyes and look at the ceiling. I realized i was imagining my favorite resident's funeral (i usually try to picture future scenarios in my daydreaming time to prepare because it soothes anxiety, i don't plan to stop fully but at least be more conscious of my actions to those scenarios in my dreams) and picturing her FAMILY, feeling sorry for ME.
Ever since I had that dream about a week ago it has completely changed my perspective of how I go about things and I hope I keep this in mind. Humans are inherently selfish. Every action we do have some form of self satisfaction to it. Even something as simple as tying your shoe laces so you don’t fall, is motivated by a level of selfishness. That is normal. However, I want to make sure I do things for the right reasons even if the outcome of the deed wouldn't change. If I volunteer l to help someone with a task is it because there are other people in the room watching me and I want to look good? Is it because I want this person to like me and think I'm a good person? Or, is it because humans deserve help and kindness and if I have the (mental, physical, financial) capacity to do so I WANT to help someone just to make their lives easier.
Like I stated earlier, it is very human to have to think of yourself in others shoes to be empathetic in most situations, I mean that's what the golden rule is (for example, I don't want to see people in pain because I know what pain feels like, therefore I do my best to prevent and reduce pain in others)! But in my experience people with bpd tend to have a little extra motivation: how we are perceived to others as "good" to prevent abandonment, or for validation/attention seeking that we feel we deserve and honestly sometimes NEED. As basic as it sounds I'm trying to be more aware of my motivation behind my actions. Who new it would take 7 years of CBT and 1 year of DBT to get to this point. I feel kind of silly honestly.
I am a self aware person, however that often made my attention seeking behaviors worse. This made my behaviors worse because I would rationalize them as "well I'm communicating to people what my needs are, therefore if they don't react appropriately they are at fault. If I'm genuinely suicidal and I let my friends know then they should shower me with love and concern. Even if I've been genuinely suicidal over many 'little' things that they now think it's a boy who cried wolf situation. I've identified my feelings (which really are real, just because they seem dramatic doesn't mean im not feeling them, so me it's so intense and real, to them it's purely for attention) and communicated so I must be doing things right." Now I realize that crying to my coworkers while they are trying to work is not acceptable because they are acquaintances and we are at work. Another thing that has caused me to have trouble identifying what is or isn't okay is understanding that just because I would drop everything to comfort a random coworkeacquaintance at work does not mean everyone else is comfortable, has the emotional capacity, feels safe, or feels motivated, to do the same. In my mind everyone takes the golden rule (treat others the way you want to be treated) so literally. It's why I'm seen as clingy and can't often tell the difference between romantic, platonic, acquaintance relationships. Because I dont care if we met a week ago if I like you and you seem to like my you're my friend in my mind and I got your back.
So yeah I just wanted to share/rant lol. Do you guys, gals, and nonbinary pals have any recommendations for how to deal with needing to be listened to or almost "coddled" sometimes? For me it was the daydreaming that I use for my anxiety but I'm not sure if that's the healthiest for me anymore. It definitely helped for a long time, but I think some change would do me some good. Let me know your techniques and coping skills you use when you find yourself in a similar position!

1936, Union of Soviet Socialist Republics
It is the year 1936. Joseph Stalin acts as Chairman of the Communist Party and Premier of the Soviet Union carefully bides his time. Ever since his failed bid to remove the Central and Left Oppositions in 1927-28 seized him the Premiership, he had carefully spent nearly a decade rebuilding his influence and network to the point that he can try a second attempt to dispel his political rivals and not a moment too soon. Within a years time, the Man of Steel predicts the Congress of the Soviets would gather to reexamine and most likely replace the old 1924 consitution with something that would give the lethargic titan purpose. If the premier gets his way, this new document will be a Stalin Constitution.
Meanwhile, Leon Trotsky stews in exile from his current residence in London, the famous Bolshevik a guest of the likeminded Oswald Mosely. In fact, he has spent a great deal of time writing theory for a new socialist system to, in his words, 'Provide a Total answer to the schism between the Bolshevik east and the Syndicalist West.' However, the Revolutionary is not content to rot away in western Europe. He too has been patient, he too has rebuilt his influence and recruited supporters within the Soviet Union knowing that the window is closing for him to return triumphantly within the halls of power and direct the Permanent Revolution towards crushing the forces of reaction.
Perhaps he is confident in his return as his supporters back home have informed him about the shaky foundations of the Central Opposition. Officially, this political bloc was led by the 'Troika' or the alliance between Joseph Stalin, Lev Kamanev, and Grigory Zinoviev. In reality, this triumvirate was primarily under Stalin's control, who only retained the other two when it became clear the Right Opposition would not be easily uprooted. Neither men, however, forgot Stalin's betrayal and how close they came to being removed from power. Gigory Zinoviev, General-Secretary of the Comintern, has drifted (in secret) closer to elements of the underground Left Opposition. On the other hand, Lev Kamanev has quietly reached out to elements of the Right Opposition, more out of necessity and a shared hatred for Stalin.
Speaking of which, the Right Opposition. Partially born out of Nikolai Bukharin's admiration for the New Economic Policy and admiration of the successful French and British Revolutions. With the rise of Syndicalism in the west, the concept of a partially decentralized economy has seemingly been vindicated. With Bukharin's popularity and Alexei Rykov's experience both in politics and economics, the Right Opposition was transformed into the 'Bolshevik Syndicalist' wing of the Party. Crucial in defeating Stalin's first seizure in the late 1920's, Bukharin and Rykov have represented the opposition to Stalin's Center Tendency. Perhaps by the end of the year, they will finally overcome Stalin's decade long reign as Premier and mend the rift between Paris, London, and Moscow.
Lastly, there is the odd man out: Ivan Smirnov. A strong supporter of Trotsky, rabid enemy of Stalin, and General-Secretary of the Communist Party of the Soviet Union. After his expulsion from the party in 1927, Smirnov was eventually reinstated not just as a member of the party, but put in one of its most powerful positions for one simple reason; he could be trusted not to play favorites. He disliked the Right Oppositions sway towards Syndicalism, despised Stalin and most of the Center, and the man he actually did support was a continent away, his supporters scattered. What's more, Stalin believed he controlled Ivan, the man being one mistep away from being exposed as a Trotskyite and expelled from the party again or worse. However, Ivan is not broken. Though he has sworn off Trotsky he still speaks quietly with likeminded men of the Left Opposition, his friendship with Grigory Zinoviev still holds strong, and Bukharin and Rykov are far less infuriating then Stalin ever could be. Smirnov will play a vital role in the politics of the coming months. Whether Trotsky returns, the Center bucks Stalin, the Right ascends, or the Man of Steel reigns triumphant, Smirnov will play a pivotal role in that outcome.
The Issues They Face
The NEP vs Five Year Plans - One of the most divisive issues plaguing the party is whether or not to commit to either a fully reorganized NEP, or to double down on the system of Five Year Plans to increase the Soviet Unions heavy industries. Ever since Joseph Stalin rose to Premiership, the Soviet economy has been pulled in two separate directions. One is championed by both the Left Opposition and Stalin himself, that being the collectivization of farmland and an economic focus on heavy industries. The opposite is Bukharin's 'Reorganized New Economic Plan', a full rework of the NEP along more Syndicalist lines. In years past the Soviet Union has partially adopted both economies with surprisingly positive effects, but now the economy and bureaucracy is stumbling under the weight of the two systems and a choice has to be made; Full-send on collectivization, or stay the course with the NEP?
Socialism in One Country vs Permanent Revolution - Perhaps one of the prime failures of Stalin was his commitment to the concept of Socialism in one Country, in which the Soviet Union must look inwards to build its strength before reaching out to the wider world. This was made under the assumption that no other nation would collapse to revolution, with or without the Soviet Unions help, so Stalin and others like him looked quite foolish when the Italian Federation and British Empire collapsed and Syndicalism rose in its place. Under Stalin, the capital of the world revolution was not in Moscow, but in Paris. Under Stalin, rather than uniting against the common threat of reaction, the socialist world divided between the anarchist Internationale and the Bolshevik Comintern... and the Comintern is losing. Either Stalin must overcome the red portion of western Europe or swallow his pride before his failings become someone else success...
The Ost Wall - The Treaty of Brest-Litovsk was a great shame Lenin had to accept to ensure peace between Russia and Germany. With the Civil War still raging and Germany only getting stronger, the writing was on the wall. While in the end very little ethnically Russian land was lost, the Soviet Union was not built on an ethnic model. The shame of Brest-Litovsk still burns, and while peace was achieved, more and more voices find the call of revolution and war burn brighter in their hearts. The Soviet Union's industry is growing at an exponential rate, and the Red Army expands and modernizes with every year. What's more, the cracks in Germany's eastern armor have finally begun to show as it's eastern 'allies' struggle to appease their disgruntled peoples. For the men who lead the Union, their experience all tells them the same thing: War is coming, whether they want it or not.
Soviet Union Paths
The Man of Steel (Totalism) - Despite all efforts to stop him, Stalin is finally ascendant within the Soviet Union. Trotsky, Bukharin, Smirnov... all of these men are now gone, politically (and soon, literally). The Foundation of the Cult of Stalin has already been laid, and lists are being written. Lists of names, hundreds of names, thousands, hundreds of thousands of names. Soon, Stalin will clean house. Soon, no one shall be safe from Stalin and his megalomanic paranoia. Soon, Russia will have a new religion, the creed of Stalinism.
"The more things change, the more they stay the same."
Return of the Triumvirate (Radical Socialist) - Though Trotsky and Bukharin's lot were finally subdued, Stalin cannot deny that he could've done it alone. Lev Kamenev and Grigory Zinoviev (Or one of them and Smirnov) have entrenched their position as Stalin's right and left hands. Stalin has won, but he must contend with his old rivals and allies as equals once more. Perhaps in another ten years, Stalin could revisit their necessity as allies but for now, the Troika reigns supreme.
"Caesar, Crassus, and Pompey once more rule the Third Rome."
Heir of Lenin (Totalism) - After a decade in exile, Trotsky has returned has crossed the Rubicon and ousted his enemies. The triumphant revolutionary can now reshape the Soviet Union along the path it was truly meant to take, and serve as a shining example of Marxism-Leninism-Totalism. Already the Red Army begins to mobilize and the factories churn out guns as Trotsky plans in tandem with his socialist allies in France and Britain and the German Empire shudders as the Russian Bear awakens.
"The Ghost of Lenin stirs in his grave."
The Siberian Dark Horse (Totalism) - Much like the man who occupied the office before him, Smirnov has managed to play everyone off one another until he alone remains standing. The Right Opposition is in chaos, Stalin and his lackey's are gone or turning their coats to the winning side, and without Trotsky the Left Opposition has rallied around his natural successor. Ivan Smirnov was never in the cards to come out the true winner, and yet now he sits at the top of the pile under the mantle of Marxism-Trotskyism. Smirnov will honor his predecessor by continuing the Permanent Revolution, and bring revolution to the west as he did to the east.
"First, Kolchak. Next, the Kaiser."
Defender of the Peasantry (Syndicalism) - With Stalin finally removed from power, Bukharin can begin the process of De-Stalinization and directing the Revolution onto the right track. Under Bukharin, the well-being of the working class and peasantry shall come first, as will their liberation and empowerment and the only way to achieve that, as shown in the west, is through the Syndicate. Lenin once called Bukharin the 'Golden Boy of the Party', and though Lenin did have his criticisms of the man none could ever deny his well-earned popularity. He will ensure the people of the Soviet Union do not run the risk of other autocratic Stalin's or ambitious Trotsky's taking the reigns. He will mend the gap with the Internationale not because he is a sycophant of some would-be dictator with a funny moustache, but because all of socialism must come together to challenge the warriors of reaction. He will build a new Soviet Union, not one born out of his blood, sweat and tears alone, but by the blood of soldiers on the field of battle, the sweat of factory workers on the production line, and the tears of mother and fathers. Not because Bukharin ordered them to do so for the 'Greater Good'... but because they united as one to stare the dragon of reaction in the face and tell it that its time was past.
"Democracy of the People, by the People, for the People, Shall Not Perish from the Earth."
The Fading Star (Radical Socialism) - Once, Rykov was not too dissimilar to the likes of Stalin or Trotsky, who championed 'the end justified the means'. They were not one of the architects of War Communism, and the blood that policy, however necessary and effective, stained Rykov's hands to this day. He is not Bukharin, he does not have his drive nor his charisma. But what he does have is experience and focus. Perhaps the Soviet Union will not become as revolutionary or radical under Rykov. Perhaps Rykov cannot be Bukharin. But what Rykov can do is ensure the Soviet Union he leaves behind is strong, united, and ready for a younger man to take into a new age. This will be the second time Rykov has acted as Premier of the Soviet Union, and he will not let it slip out of his fingers like the last time.
"The Reaper now Sows the Seeds of Tomorrow."
Other Snippets

• If Trotsky fails to return to the Soviet Union or survives assassination attempts, members of the Third Internationale will have events involving Trotsky. In particular, he will visit the Combined Syndicates of America and, depending on choices made by the CSA and how close the CSA is to being defeated, stay to support the revolution. This can range from either acting as a National Spirit and possible Advisor to actually acting as a Field Marshal/General for the CSA. His presence also increases the popularity of Totalism. He can provide similar buffs to either the SRI, The Commune, or the Union of Britain.
• If Stalin is exiled from the Soviet Union, he will eventually end up in Mexico. Trotsky or Smirnov can choose to send assassins after Stalin where upon he will be found murdered in his study, killed by an ice pick and becomes a Martyr for anti-trotskyite/Smirnovite socialists. If he is not assassinated, Stalin eventually suffers a stroke in the late 50's, but is saved by the quick actions of local doctors but was rendered mentally impaired, and fades into relative obscurity.
• If Stalin is not exiled, he will merely be removed from the party and retires to his villa on the black sea. Again, Trotsky or Smirnov can have him killed much to the same effect, but if not Stalin spends his days living a relaxing and peaceful life, writing books and essay's in both Russian and Georgian and on all manners of subjects including Stalin's views on Christianity, and acting as the Patriarch of a growing family. His daughter, Svetlana, eventually joins the Communist Party.
• While Stalin, Trotsky, and Smirnov can all turn the Soviet Union Totalist, their flavors vary somewhat wildly. Stalin turns the Soviet Union down its OTL path of Stalinism of course. Marxism-Leninism-Totalism is rather similar to Stalinism but much more zealous and aggressive in doctrine. Marxism-Trotskyism is essentially bog-standard Marxism-Leninism but more heavily militarized, and Smirnov takes on Stalinist and Trotskyist attributes eventually culminating in a Cult of Personality forming around the Siberian Lenin.
• Bukharin's paths will either end with Bukharin ceding power to the Supreme Soviet/Congress of Soviets of which he will remain a prominent voice, or one where Bukharin accidently forms a Cult of Personality around himself, though one that's more benign in nature. Both endings are seen as positive but radical. Rykov is still a positive ending, though more pragmatic and moderate compared to Bukharin's radicalism.

41 yr old male. One of my greatest aspirations in life was to avoid anything cancer-related. I've been going to the gym and training hard several times a week almost all my life. Over the last few years, added sauna post-workout and cold showers each morning. Intermittent fasting since 2017 and drinking lots of black coffee each day for an abundance of anti-oxidants. And yet... here we are. I already have some chronic conditions, the worst being excessive scarring in my lungs due to recurring respiratory infections from industrial exposure. And now this.
No thyroid-related issues run in my family. My doc says the cancer could be from anything, maybe even industrial exposure due to the type of work environments I had previously been in (some radioactive materials and also radiating equipment). Luckily, I don't work in those kinds of places anymore.
I just feel so defeated. I've tried so hard for so long to be healthy and well. I know I'm relatively fortunate. I get annual CT scans of my lungs due to the excessive scarring and that's how they found the nodule on my thyroid. Biopsy results show that it's a well-differentiated papillary thyroid cancer. Currently, only 1.5 cm in diameter, so I'll only get one lobe removed.
I hate what's happening and I'm ashamed of how I'm reacting to/processing all of it. I know that I'm very fortunate in so many ways. Health care is all covered and the cancer was caught early, so a full recovery without any other problems is likely. I'm just getting tired of having so many chronic physical health problems, despite all my efforts. It's leading into some mental and emotional shit that I'm even more ashamed of.
Any insight or advice on how to handle things would be greatly appreciated. What you went through, how you're doing now. I'm just so tired.
TL;DR
After taking nearly every possible precaution to avoid getting cancer, I now have it. On top of other pre-existing health conditions, this feels like more than a straw to break the camel's back.

**WARNING** long post. Feel free to skip the background information if need be
BACKGROUND:
I am a software engineer at a major bank. Relative to my counterparts on my team, I am the "most junior", but I have three years of experience. This is important to know as it may offer some insight to our team culture. I landed this job in November 2023 and was placed with my team in January 2024. The team consisted of two women, including myself and five men. I work at our NYC office with three of the other men, one of which is our team lead, let's call him Anderson. The other woman coworker lives in FL and the other two men are in India. I am the only black person on the team, and the rest of my coworkers are of Indian descent. This, too, is important to note.
From day 1, I was intentionally assigned low level administrative tasks while my coworkers were purposefully trained and briefed on other, technical tasks. The first week with my team, I mentioned to my team lead that I felt it important to learn the technical tasks that my teammates were learning, even if these technical tasks were not going to be my responsibility, because there would not be anyone to take on the technical tasks if someone was on vacation. My team lead told me to focus on the work he assigned to me.
Still determined to learn the technical tasks, I scheduled trainings with my offshore counterpart so that he would train me instead. This meant that I had to sign in to work after hours to be trained. I was now trained on what my "work buddy" knew, but still not fully trained on what the rest of the team knew how to do. Suddenly (not suddenly), my other woman coworker, let's call her Sandra, went on maternity leave and I was assigned her work. My team lead expressed his frustration with me not knowing how to do her job, and told me to figure out how to learn the things she was doing.
What is interesting to point out here is that during the first few weeks on the team, my team lead would assign our other senior engineer to train Sandra and answer all questions that she had. I was not granted this opportunity. Instead, my Slack messages went unanswered (I have all of this documented) when I had questions and after another two weeks, my team lead quietly reassigned Sandra's work from me to another senior engineer instead. He never explained why he did this, or gave me feedback on the work I was doing.
As the weeks went by, my team lead called me into a meeting to gauge my knowledge on querying our databases. He asked me to find a few items, which I could not find because for one, I had NEVER interacted with the databases before, and for two, I had no understanding of the database architecture or the data flow for our app. Nevertheless, I decided to ask clarifying questions to help me better understand the data so that I could write appropriate queries. My team lead responded to this with yelling "you are an engineer and you don't even know SQL", to which I responded that my knowledge of SQL was sufficient (part of my technical interview was based on writing complex queries), but I needed to understand exactly what he wanted me to find. He ended the meeting and never followed up on the information he was looking for. I still do not know what task, if any, that he was trying to assign to me.
I decided to follow up with him and explain to him that I could sense his frustration, and I asked him to define clear expectations for me and the team, and provide official training that focused on our application architecture and other technical areas that we needed to focus on. He told me that no amount of training would fix the "fact" that I did not know SQL and that it is the team members' job to train themselves.
Nevertheless, after that meeting, he assigned me with handling all onboarding for new projects moving forward. I have taken the liberty of advocating for my team members to ensure that we are all properly trained and provided with ALL resources needed to do our job well. Since then, the team, and myself has expressed more confidence in our ability to do our work. We are even at a point where senior team members reach out to me when they cannot find resources and either ask me to provide documentation, or ask me to reach out to other engineers to schedule meetings to provide trainings. Here is where I am concerned that I might be experiencing hostility at work. Please provide objective feedback and even constructive criticism if need be:
MAIN POINTS:
-my team lead uses language in his interactions with me that creates a false narrative. For example, he accuses me of "not caring" about my job, not "being collaborative", and not paying attention. One example is where I was tasked with migrating a google guice project to springboot. We had four weeks to get the work done and each week during standup, I brought up to my team lead my plans to make changes to the service. Each time, he would redirect my attention to administrative tasks. The third week of the sprint, literally in the middle of a Slack conversation of me telling my team lead that I planned on making some code changes and him instead telling me to do something else, our senior manager called a meeting with the team and yelled at my team lead for not getting any work done related to the code refactoring. After the meeting, my team lead followed up with me and berated me for not having work done. This is all documented in Slack and I remember being very confused as he had literally told me to do other tasks. As a result, my team lead removed me from the code refactoring project and used this to further justify his belief that I do "not care" about the work. Keep in mind that these interactions are documented.
-my team lead constantly verbally berates me in my interactions with him. One example is when I was typing up a document on a zoom call and I was sharing my screen with him. He kept rushing me and was saying things like "come on man I have other things to do", "ughhh hurry up", "you need to move fast!". Two things here: he yelled at me for moving fast because he said he could not see what I was clicking on when I moved fast. Then he yelled at me when I slowed down. There was one time he yelled at me for clicking a back button instead of the home button on the screen...he told me that I was not listening to him or paying attention...I am confused by this because the point of his instruction was for me to return to the home screen. There was another time where I misspelled a word in the middle of him berating me, and then he berated me even more for misspelling the word...
-my team lead has unclear expectations and gets angry at me when I do not do things he wants me to do. One example is when he wanted me to watch a 40 minute training video, summarize the points in the video, and schedule a follow up training with the person who lead the training so that the team (me) could ask questions. He asked me to get this done within an hour. He also wanted me to upload some recordings to Sharepoint. But this task was just another task to complete and not time-sensitive. After the call, I watched the video and made a summary and got back to him with an update in 45 minutes instead of the hour. He responded to my message 20 minutes after I wrote him by hopping on a call with me and yelled at me for not having the videos uploaded. Again, he accused me of "not caring" about my job. When I explained to him that the videos were not uploaded because I was focusing on the other, time sensitive task, he said that that task was not as important as having the videos uploaded and "people" were asking him about the videos in the Sharepoint space....this was a lie because it has been a week and the only person who accessed the uploaded videos was...you guessed it...me :)
-my team lead just berates me in general. He berated me for collaborating with a team member to explore a new internal application. He said that there was no need to get on zoom with the coworker because we should have already known everything...the app was new and I was the only one who understood how to navigate it after exploring it with the team member...oh...need I mention that he then asked me to train the other team members on the new app's UI next week?
-my team lead expressed his frustration at not having access to certain resources when I was on bereavement.The documentation was incomplete and I had to take a sudden leave due to a death in the family. Upon my return, he asked for the documentation and said that he find an "excuse" to tell his manager as to why the documentation was incomplete and that I was "on vacation"
-my team lead "warns" me not to "disappoint" him when he assigns me with tasks. When I ask him to define what a "disappointment" is and for us to agree on what is acceptable, he ignores me.
-my team lead tells me that "people" ask questions about my work and one day he is going to make our department head "deal" with me. The department head is known for being a hot head who yells at people. But he (department head)has NEVER yelled at me in any interaction I had with him, no matter how frustrated he may have been.
I want to make an important note here that my team lead does NOT speak to other people like this and he ONLY does this over zoom. I work 3x days in office and on the days where he speaks to me in person, he does not even make eye contact with me and he speaks so soft I can barely hear him sometimes. My team lead has never provided any feedback on my work. As a matter of fact, he uses my documentation and my explanation of technical tasks as if they were his own.
I am considering taking my concerns to our senior manager, who apparently is a well respected, "big boss" at work, but also MY direct manager and I happen to have a great relationship with him. I want to be as objective as possible in my complaint but in the meantime, I would like to explore areas where maybe I can improve to minimize my team lead's verbal assaults on me

i just posted on here a few days ago, and honestly i was applying the tips everyone gave me and was doing great… until today, got a 15 top. literally everything was going perfect until this party, everyone ordered water and strawberry lemonade. everyone smelled like weed, my tables around them requested to go boxes so they could leave.
they started off screaming their appetizers and drink orders at me. i smile saying “one at a time please, i’m going by seat number!” one lady screams “you ain’t have to cut us off” then as i’m reading the appetizers back, i stutter, everyone starts laughing. on top of that, they were making fun of my voice, saying i talk too white and that my voice can’t sound like that with “hair so nappy” (these were black people).
one man orders the most expensive menu item and a TS LIT. he leaves without paying- after telling me he tips the best.
since they were all family, the manager came by and asked if we could split his bill throughout the table (it was $77) and they all immediately started screaming, threatening to kick my ass, the managers ass. so the manger just comped it off. some dickhead got a free meal.
then as i was talking to my other table, they were screaming at me, asking how long the wait was. i explained to them BEFORE i placed their order that their food would take longer than normal (about 40mins) because they got well done steaks and we were PACKED. i gave them extra bread to make up for it. they threw them on the floor.
my party was treating me so poorly, my other table gave me $40 and said “because i know they aren’t going to tip”.
there was auto grat added to the bill- it came out to over $450, but they got the manager to remove it after everyone split their checks. i am very lucky my previous tables tipped so well.
i don’t think i have the mental strength to deal with this again so i’m going to notify the supervisor that i’ll be leaving after i finish my scheduled shifts.
i wrote all this to say, you long time servers are very strong people and i admire you all for dealing with this bs on a daily basis. i have no idea how yall do it but i admire yall. you deserve the best and i hope you never experience this.
i’d like to add that i didn’t say or do anything to cause these people to get so angry. i did everything right: i acknowledged the children, smiled, complimented people, warned them of food item wait times, described menu items and gave recommendations based on what they wanted. they started their rage fit when they were waiting for the strawberry lemonade (i gave the whole table water in addition to their lemonades). i explained to them that the bar makes them, i can’t go behind the bar, and that she was doing her best.
thanks for reading this.