I’m sorry if this is long but I’m really confused as to why I got ghosted and wanted to add as much detail to hopefully give the full picture.
I (19f) just recently went through a break up. My boyfriend of what I consider 10 months (he says 4 bc we never had the official talk but that’s another story) called me a week after the summer started and dumped me. After a couple weeks of crying and listening to the same five songs on repeat I went out with some friends. They convinced me to find a rebound but I told them I wasn’t down to sleep around this summer but I don’t want anything official. They said to try and find someone who wants something similar. I wasn’t sure if I could actually find someone who is down to be monogamous with sex yet free to talk to whoever else. I feel like most men want to be able to sleep with someone if they are putting in the effort to flirt with them. However, I put up a tinder profile and started getting matches and voila I was back in the dating pool. I matched with a guy we’ll call Z (23M). We texted on tinder I got his number we sent pictures of our IDs and everything was great. There was a lot of flirting on his end especially with the nicknames. When we facetime called we got along great but the conversation didn’t flow exactly. At times it felt kinda forced but I chalked it up to nervs. During the call I asked him what he was looking for and I was surprised ised to hear him describe almost exactly what I was looking for. The next day we set up a date and met at a museum. Again we got along great and everything seemed to be going well. He was 10x more attractive in person. I was so nervous but played it cool I hope. However at time the convo dragged and it was hard to find things to talked about. It was like in person we didn’t click like we did over the phone. I was kind of getting worried thinking that maybe he didn’t find me as attractive in person but he would say little things during the date that definitely made it seem like he was really into me. He saw another girl glaring and staring at me and said it looked like she was jealous. Later we walked past the same girl and she intentionally got in my face as we walked past. I was like same wtf did you see that and he responded with something along the lines of “dude I know but she can be jealous I’m yours” I was liked damn okay type shit i really got it like that. Then we went back to his car and I’m not exactly proud of this but he was parked in a pretty secluded area. And of course it was a tinder date so I’m sure you can all imagine what happened next. After we left we hit of a DQ and ate the ice cream in the car and drove home vibing to music and holding hands. I’ll admit for someone who talks a lot we really didn’t converse that much. However I really liked him and felt like there was so much to get to know about him. I know I don’t want anything serious right now but Z seemed like the perfect guy to have a fling with. He dropped me off home and texted me that night with
Made it home a lil bit ago. Thank you for tonight. It was cool getting out fr and meeting you in person. I fw your energy fr😌 I’m about to head to bed though so goodnight. Sleep well🌌🙂
I said goodnight and the following morning he texted me good morning and we talked for a bit throughout the day. Everything up to this point seemed like it was going great. He had even made comments about packing a bag and staying a weekend with me while I was at school (he made this comment during our ft and out date multiple times). Then 6pm rolls around and he stopped responding. I text him at 9 and ask about his day and nothing. Then I texted him again today at 12 and nothing.
Honestly I’m really confused. I really thought we were hitting it off but apparently not? I just don’t know what happened and I really don’t want it to happen again. I took this as a sign to take more time to myself before getting back out there. If anyone has any ideas as to what this could be about I’m ready to hear anything.

hi, so last night i slept with this cute guy who was staying at the hotel i work at. we’re the same age and there was a very clear mutual attraction. he had been getting drunk at my bar pretty much every night of his stay, but that didn’t deter me. ANYWAY i go to his room at the end of my shift, we have a couple beers and vape some weed, and then he starts breaking out into a british accent and he’s having a hard time making eye contact at this point. he said he was joking and we ended up just doing oral, making out, cuddling, etc. then he starts FREAKING OUT and going into a tantrum about how his family is very devout catholic (i grew up catholic) and that they told him it was completely inappropriate to be gay- so i tried to calm him down and tell him my story of being raised catholic, and it works, and we go to sleep. he keeps JOLTING AWAKE and rambling on about all different kinds of nonsense and totally forgetting where he is- i stayed cause i wanted to make sure he was safe, and i also didn’t want to cause a fight if i tried to hurry out and potentially get written up for fraternizing with a guest. in the AM he was fine and i left. that’s when i realized he’s probably on the spectrum, but high functioning enough to travel solo 🤷‍♂️
the point of this is i have hooked up with so many guys who present as neurotypical and i just think their eccentricities are because they’re shy or socially awkward, and i’m very open and non-judgmental. but then when i think back on it, i notice a lot of the same behavior patterns in at least 5-10 of my past partners over the last decade and what should’ve raised a red flag for me is most of these guys have told me on the first or second date/hookup that they’re not autistic without my prompting. i don’t have an issue with guys on the spectrum, i’m just wondering why i don’t notice it until it gets to the point that i can’t tolerate their behaviors anymore? and then i feel like an asshole cause i know they’re probably desiring and wanting the same things that neurotypical guys want but it’s hard for me to accept the inappropriate laughter, misread social cues and other things that they do as a result of being on the spectrum after discovering that they are.
TL;DR
i keep hooking up with or dating men who present as normal at first (don’t kill me for using normal as the descriptor) but have eccentric behaviors and a majority of them have specifically told me without being asked that they aren’t autistic/on the spectrum.

i say seems because it does feel weird but i guess i don’t fully grasp it until i tell my family about it and they say it’s not okay. idk if i minimize it internally or what.
but anyway for context i am a 21 year old man. my manager and coworkers i work directly with are all 50+, all women. there are other employees as well who are not like this but i don’t work directly with them. but basically one of the people i don’t work directly with is a woman as well, she’s a few years older than me and for whatever reason my coworkers all think we’re in love or something. really she’s just the only person there who is normal and we are friends.
they always say wildly inappropriate things. like i got a tattoo on my outer thigh and there was a conversation leading up to this but essentially one said that the girl would’ve liked if i pulled my pants down to show her.
they all say stuff like we’re gonna get married or that we’re flirting with each other all the time. and today i had the day off and my manager was talking with a coworker and then my friend. my friend told me about it right after but since i wasn’t there i don’t know exactly what happened or what was said but apparently they somehow got on the topic of me working out and my coworker said that i showed her my biceps and told her to feel them and she told them they were as hard as rocks. this never happened. never have i shown her my biceps or even talked about them. like yeah i know that can be considered a compliment but it feels so weird that she would just make that up and tell other people that? like wtf.
idk it just makes me wonder what kinda disgusting shit they say when i’m not there and when my friend isn’t there to tell me what was said. and there have been so many times they have said stuff about me and her when she isn’t there and i immediately text her because it just feels so wrong. to talk about someone behind their back period, but especially given the type of stuff the say and the fact that i’m the only young male there and they are all older women. i’m not saying it would be okay if i was older or they were younger or they were men. idk it is wrong no matter what
i don’t even wanna go to hr because they are garbage. i have seen it firsthand they would do a whole investigation to say they found nothing or they would just transfer me to a different location instead of addressing the problem. i’m looking at other jobs for this reason along with other personal reasons but i am having trouble finding something that seems like a good fit. i haven’t been looking for long tho.
idk if i’m posting this for advice or just to vent or what. or just to tell a story. idk. thanks for reading if anyone actually did read this

I’d like to start off saying that I’m not looking for critique on what I should do going further unless you’ve read the full story, not just the TLDR. This situation is far more complicated and has been years in the making. If you want a rundown, I’ve put a TLDR at the bottom. I truly just need a space for me to type out my story and possibly maybe hear similar stories if anyone can relate. This is an extremely long post, and there’s a chance I ramble, so just as a warning
I’ll give some background before I say my case: I (22F) have been suspicious of my dad (50M) for the better part of my life. I have diagnosed anxiety and for the most part, I’ve thought my ideas and skepticisms on the matter as just intrusive thoughts. My dad and I have l always had a weird relationship. It doesn’t change how much I love him though. Even as I sit here today, I can’t in good conscience say I hate my dad. I love my dad. Even in his bad moments and questionable behaviors, hes my dad and usually my biggest of supporters. I think because of his bipolar nature it makes this situation so hard.
My mom and dad have been married for 25 years. Like I said before, they have four kids, both come from strict Catholic families, and share the same group of friends. On the outside, everyone can tell my dad loves my mom. He worships the ground she walks on, splurges on expensive gifts for her and is pretty openly affectionate. My mom, however, has never been vocal on her affections, inside and out of the house. Honestly, I can see how this affects my dad. Over the years, they’ve gotten shorter with each other, dad lashes out a bit more (something I’d say to remember as you keep reading), and will disappear into the night after a harsh argument.
I’d say this is where I start to get weird feelings on him. We all have a joint Life360. All of us, including our parents, can see where we are at all times. I’m fine with this, given at the time of this starting I was 20 and in college and I understand why a parent would want their kids locations. When checking the app, I started to notice my dad’s location being off at weird intervals of the night. If you have Life360, you’d know that it will tell you someone’s location has been turned off. Naturally, I’d ask my dad and he’d laugh it off saying his app was screwed up and he wasn’t sure why it was doing that and then 20 minutes later his location would be back on. Whatever, fine. The locations would only turn off around 11 P.M. on random evenings, usually when he was in town. He’d still throw the excuse that it was because he was just flying and airplane mode screws up Life360 (which isn’t true btw).
Anyways, I guess the meat of this story starts December of 2022. Dad’s anger is at weird levels. He’s arguing with my mom more and turning off his location. Me, being stupid, accused him of acting weird a few days before Christmas. Naturally he gets defensive and starts to say things like I’d never cheat on your mom, how could you accuse me of things like that, my phone is just wired. I’d argue back that I never accused him of cheating, just that he’s weird. That didn’t help my case. This is where his true character started to show. Threats of I’d cut you off from college (they pay for my schooling, car and phone), yelling at me for not showing respect for him, how he’s done so much for the family. After this argument I’d see him deleting no name contacts off of his phone after a conversation. I brought this up to my mom, and she tells me it’s probably work so I drop it. If my mom’s not worried why should I be.
After Christmas, we fly north to visit family since we’re the only ones down south. During our trip, he’d take my grandparents car (with their permission, these are my moms parents) to run errands for the Christmas parties that will be happening over the next couple of days. Once again, every time he’d go out his location would turn off. The tipping point for me was when he said he was going to fill up my grandparents car with gas. They live 5 minutes from a gas station. We had a reservation in an hour with his dad that we cannot be late to. My dad knew this. He was gone for an hour. Location off. He’s not contacting anyone, including my mom, on where he is. When he gets back, 5 minutes after when we were supposed to leave, he tells us all that there was an accident at the gas station and they needed him for a witness support. I shoot him down asking why his location was off and why he didn’t tell anyone this in front of my siblings, mom, and grandparents. They all laugh like it’s a joke but once I look at him he’s fuming. He tells me to get in the car so we can get to dinner.
Once we all pile in for dinner he screams at me, once again repeating the things he said before Christmas and how dare I accuse him of anything in front of his in-laws. When we finally parked the car and started to walk into the restaurant, he screams at me in the parking lot. My cousins and grandfather are standing outside watching him berate me in public. I’m 20 years old and he’s treating me like I’m 5. He told me he was going to stop paying for school and my rent this upcoming school year to teach me a lesson. I have never seen my father like this before, and true to his word, I paid for the first two months of my Spring 2023 school year. After some convincing from my mom, my dad texts me in March to not worry about the rent. I think after this is where I truly realize what’s at stake and what more I could lose if I try something like this again, and I never once verbally said he was cheating to anyone. Besides I had no proof.
In between this period, my mom and I have a huge heart to heart. I confess to her that her relationship with my dad is not something I view healthy, and I’m fearful that my marriage one day will look like theirs. I tell her I think she’s treated unfairly behind closed doors and she needs to step up for herself. She agrees but once I bring up divorce, she laughs and says she’d never in a million years consider that. She’d never get a divorce, and she kept reinforcing that. My parents are super Catholic, so I’m not surprised by this statement, but I feel like this paragraph is important to note.
Jump forward it May 2023. I’m off for the summer, in a limbo between end of the school year and starting my internship, so I’m back home. One evening my parents and I are watching a show in the living room. How we are all positioned makes it that my dad is in front of us. During a commercial break while my mom is getting water, my dad takes out his phone and starts texting, however it’s not on iMessage. It’s on Grindr. The only reason I know it was Grindr is because I have a few gay friends at school and I’ve seen some of their messages before. Honest to god, I’m shocked and paralyzed in my seat. What I’ve been suspicious about for the past half of the year is true. Just not in the sense I thought he was. Excusing myself to my room I go to recollect myself and reach out to two of my closer friends about the situation.
Over the next few months when I visit home, I start to document any instance I see him on the app or turning off his location. I have multiple videos of him texting people on Grindr. I’ve started to hint to my mom that something isn’t right and made out loud comments how weird dads been. Since last May, I’ve told my younger sister (F19) about my dad and showed her some evidence. She refuses to acknowledge the behavior and does not want to do anything about it. We’ll joke about it sometimes behind closed doors but when I bring it up to her today about telling my mom or talking to my dad, she gets fearful and thinks it’s stupid to do.
Which leads us to today. I am a fresh graduate from college. I’ve moved back home and am looking for work. And I know I’m being extremely selfish to everyone in my family for withholding this information. After countless talks with my therapist, she thinks it’s wise to not tell my dad or mom what’s happening, at least currently. Since I have been actually cut off from my dad and my mom has expressed that she doesn’t want a divorce and can’t really be bothered to look into the situation more, my therapist and a few of my friends agree to wait until I’m financially independent and moved out of the house. I think about telling my parents everyday what I know. But then I think of me, and my three younger siblings (the youngest is 13) who are still living at home, and the fact my mom is financially dependent on my dad. And I think the worst part and it makes me feel awful for even typing this, but it feels a bit easier to cope with this because my dad is exclusively talking to men. He’s not cheating on my mom with other women. My sister and I over the holidays looked to see if he had any of the other dating apps and we found nothing.
Honestly, a lot of you all might have read all of this and may still think I should tell my parents asap. Or question why I’m still waiting. I think I’m scared. I think I don’t want things to change. I don’t want to be blamed at or remembered as the daughter who ruined the **** family. I know it’s my dads fault and it’s not on me, but I’m scared I’ll truly lose my dad if I bring this to light. I’m scared my moms life will be flipped upside down forever. I’m scared my younger siblings will resent me for ruining our family and their cushy life will be lost.
I just needed somewhere to write this all down. I needed to get this off of my chest while I sit in my childhood bedroom. I’ve never felt more trapped and guilty in my life. It’s easier to forget that this is happening while I was at school, but now that I’m home, it’s harder to ignore. If anyone has any similar stories I’d love to hear them. There’s a lot more I’m leaving out so if there are questions I’ll try and answer them.
TLDR: was suspicious of my dad for cheating back in 2022 based on some behaviors and was cut off for two months when I asked what was up. Now I know he’s gay and is cheating on my mom and has been for maybe years. Mom doesn’t seem to worry/care about his behavior and Dad is still creeping around. Now that I’m back home the guilt of not saying a word to either of them is building up but I’m scared I’ll lose my family.

The Boys - https://drive.google.com/file/d/1iAmuSv8zeemGE-E4YZpBk9E3P5ZTiWc7/view [Suggestion from Dragon-King-of-Death (Thank You)]]

• {Lovable Dork (200cp)}: For some reason people will find you lovable and easily trust you. For example, a person who just met you on a park bench a few days ago will trust you enough to tell you about their deepest insecurities and issues.
• {Chosen By God (400cp)}: •Vought International spouts nonsense about their heroes being Chosen by God. Unlike them, you might actually be Chosen by God. You’ve (probably) never met him, but with the rate that you have fortuitous encounters, you’re pretty sure that someone is looking out for you. You’ll meet important people and find it easy to obtain important items. And if you have powers, they are not the by-product of Compound V. This perk also acts as a Capstone Booster.
• {Super PR (600cp)}: The hardest part of being a hero is not the villains, it’s the public. But don’t worry, thanks to this perk it’s no longer a problem for you. Most people will see you as a heroic figure and an inspiration. This public image of you won’t deteriorate unless there is irrefutable proof of your shortcomings or crimes. You can tone this down if you want to. Supes who have purchased this perk can choose to replace the Deep in the Seven. (Chosen By God): Your public image recovers very quickly even when there is irrefutable proof of your shortcomings or crimes. People quickly forget about scandals and even truly heinous actions will eventually be dismissed as a 'phase' you were going through.

Generic Harry Potter Fanfiction - https://drive.google.com/file/d/1GX7oeYt88WKpYCTwbdE-s6ypNIvNkWw7/view?usp=sharing [Suggestion From Massive_Awareness_63 (Thank You)]

• Friend Maker - ​You’re a nice guy, Jumper. Whatever else people take away from meeting you, this is something just about everyone who has so much as exchanged a few words with you agrees on. You’re polite, somehow make time for everyone, and have an easy smile. Getting people to like you and let you join their social groups and clubs is a matter of trivial effort, staying in any groups you’re already part of is easier still. Even your worst detractors will have to dig very deep to find bad things to say about you.
• Legendary Healer - ​You are a good person, Jumper. And this reflects in your magic. You are a healer without peer, being a master at all aspects of it. From potioneering, to tricks of transfiguration, whatever it takes to heal another person is something you are an expert at already. But a talent for healing is well and good. However, there are gifts and abilities of any and all types in the world. Necromancy, Parsel-Magic, Blood Magic, etc. While several are benign and helpful, a lot of them seem like they can only ever be used for evil. Not by you, though. You have the ability to use any and all gifts and powers you have for good and benign purposes. Blood magic can be used as a healing tool, powers that can rip the land asunder can be used to divert floods and prevent earthquakes, an ability to eat souls can be used to instead remove any curses or maladies lain on a soul, and so on. You have the unique ability to share this ability with others, allowing good people born with “bad powers” to use their powers for good pursuits without issue.
• Heart of Gold - ​It’s a curious thing you do, alternating between horrific evil and lighthearted whimsy as you are. One day you might be bathing in the blood of a thousand innocents, the other day you might be saving orphans from a fire. What this means for you is that no amount of foul and/or corruptive influence, magical or not, can actually hold a hope of corrupting or subverting you, always sliding off like so much dreck. Unless, that is, you want to be evil for some reason. Additionally enemies you have will be highly likely to think that you could be “redeemed” (either for good or evil, it works both ways!) and therefore will probably try to capture you first and are unlikely to try to kill you outright unless you’ve proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that you won’t join them. Finally you possess both an incredibly sinister villain laugh and a hearty “good guy” laugh as well, and can chew the scenery and be as hammy as you want while still being taken completely seriously instead of being seen as a lame try-hard.

Exalted Outcast - https://drive.google.com/file/d/1XgV07ZoFyIShkVruey8UW2W-G9IHIDT3/view?usp=sharing [Suggestion From Sundarapandiyan1 (Thank You)]

• I will never love you...

... for I do not understand what love means. If you wish to serve me and give me the things I desire, I am willing to tolerate your presence. Much like Valentin, you are as beautiful as longing itself. People will come to you, and compete for your attention. And when they don’t have it, when you invoke love in others and do not return it, it becomes devotion. Perhaps the lack of reciprocal feelings only makes it stronger, as the pursuit of you becomes an abstract ideal. Regardless, many will find themselves eager to please you with little expectation for you to care in return. Even those not bewitched will be touched by your queerly enchanting mien and grace. Truly few could refuse you or bar your way. Few is not none. While your enrapturing nature is even stronger than Valentin’s, don’t forget that his nature didn’t save him in the end.
Narnia - https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B1qb0_OLhDrDZ1lIUlBqa3A4azA/view?usp=sharing&resourcekey=0-0B2v1IAAqocxpzk1r88_-A [Suggestion From Dragon-King-of-Death (Thank You)]

• Heart of a Child [400], Discount Drop-In

Once a friend to Narnia, always a friend to Narnia. You possess a sense of childlike wonder and excitement that can never be completely extinguished, no matter how many years you live or how many horrors you witness. No matter how much you may change over the years, there will always remain some core that is essentially you. This also improves your resistance to telepathic influence, magical curses of despair, and other similar effects.
Mark Antony - https://docs.google.com/document/d/1xqV1SMWGoBxdZwsSkSRODHkScyMaeFHpfK1Hcp3-wAo/edit [Suggestion From Sundarapandiyan1 (Thank You)]

• Sins of the father: Your predecessors' mistakes don't influence people's opinion about you. Your actions influence people's opinion about you.
• Leader of men: You're a great leader, charismatic and kind, able to bring hundreds of people together as a single force.

Netflix Locke And Key - https://docs.google.com/document/d/1MTWjE8wT4v9PNiZJO1GcCcbYHtJlzDIFCJuD9aDe1WM/edit

• Rocky Road (400 CP): There are some who like to remain broken, some who are forced to remain broken, some who have no idea they are broken and some who are there to fix the broken. Some who are there to give a warm smile and a comforting presence free of judgement, who are patient and kind, who can see the baggage of others and the ways to help not because of manipulation or gain but simply because they wish to help, people who can see the ways of helping others forget their problems and become themselves again, who can heal decade long wounds and mental scars like it’s nothing.
  
• Near Identity Key (400 CP): Not a very good name I admit but when the only thing limiting you from becoming an entirely new person is your face I can’t think of a name quite so close to the truth. I mean what can you call someone who can don an entire persona and throw them away when done, who can craft emotions and subconscious tells, subtle nuances like one would craft with leggo’s, who can change their accent, the depths of their voice, their stride like one would change their clothes. One who can become anyone.
  

The Magicians - https://drive.google.com/file/d/1o28lYPEyTZ4NHgFxAriLTD_5uAv5XgHh/view?usp=sharing [Personal Fav, Mainly For The Pocket World]

• Good Deeds (200 CP)

And who said the nice guy finishes last? By performing good deeds, you can increase your power in direct relation to how much good you did, increasing your pools of internal energy. People will also take much more of a liking to you than they otherwise would have, with you giving off more a good vibe.

• Lovable Character (600 CP)

People just don’t seem very capable at holding a grudge at you, nor do they seem to account for the amount of times you’ve back-stabbed them when hanging out with you or asking for your aid, with things going so well that they can almost treat you like a friend if you interact with them long enough. It’s almost like your popularity among your theoretical audience causes you to become a constant in the story. In addition, once per Jump - or ten years, whichever passes faster - you may return from the dead, appearing the next day in an undisclosed, safe location.
Generic Fantasy Otome Academy - https://drive.google.com/file/d/1QisYlMEsDgAVYJxyQGW21Tk_YEDCCcTm/view?usp=sharing

• Confide in Me (400cp)

I suppose you’re just a good listener. Some people will only open their hearts to family, or to a precious pet... but everyone is willing to speak frankly and honestly to you if they have anything they want to confide. This doesn’t mean they’ll spontaneously admit to crimes, unless they’re guilty and want to let it out, but they will be willing to talk freely and will instinctively believe that you will keep their secrets, even if they know you’ve shared those of others. But if you do prove indiscreet with someone’s private matters, they won’t trust you with them again.

• Not So Helpless Ingenue (400cp)

There’s a very thin line between ‘sweet & innocent’ and ‘hopelessly naive’. You dance blithely back and forth across that line, or at least you do to all outside observers. Somehow, you’re able to maintain your sense of innocent wonder, boundless optimism, and simple joie-de-vivre without sacrificing any of your cunning, wisdom, or practicality. Those who see you but do not know you well will probably assume you’re sweetness and light (if they’re not a cynical individual) or a complete naïf (if they’re of the more pragmatic persuasion), and thus underestimate you, but in truth? You always know when someone is trying to manipulate you or lead you astray.

Paypal or Venmo accepted.

Movie	Redeem	Resolution	Price	Ports Movies Anywhere
2 Guns	MA	4K	$4
3 From Hell	Vudu/iTunes	4K	$4
47 Meters Down	iTunes	HD	$3	No
8-Mile	MA	4K	$5
About Time	MA	HD	$3.50
Adventures of Tin Tin	Vudu/iTunes	HD	$3	No
Agent Game	iTunes	4K	$4	No
Aladdin	iTunes	4K	$5	Yes
Aliens Ate my Homework	MA	HD	$3.50
All the Devil's Men	Vudu	HDX	$3.50	No
American Hustle	MA	4K	$6
American Psycho	Vudu/iTunes	4K	$4	No
Angel Has Fallen	iTunes	4K	$4	No
Annie (1982)	MA	4K	$5
Antebellum	Vudu/iTunes	4K	$4	No
Ant-man and the Wasp	MA	HD	$3.50
Apache Junction	Vudu	HDX	$4	No
Apollo 11	MA	HD	$5
Arctic	MA	4K	$6
Aristocats, The	GP	HD	$4	Yes
Arrival	iTunes	4K	$3	No
Artist, The	MA	HD	$3
As Good As it Gets	MA	4K	$5
Atomic Blonde	MA	4K	$4
Bad Words	iTunes	HD	$3	Yes
Banshees of Inisherin	MA	HD	$4
Barbie Princess Power	MA	HD	$4
Barbie Video Game Hero	iTunes	HD	$3	Yes
Beirut	MA	HD	$3
Big Eyes	Vudu	HDX	$3.50	No
Big Lebowski, The	MA	HD	$3
Birds of Pray	MA	HD	$3.50
Birds of Pray	MA	4K	$5
Birth of a Dragon	MA	HD	$3.50
Black Hawk Down (Unrated)	MA	4K	$5
Black Panther	iTunes	4K	$4	Yes
Black Widow	MA	HD	$3
Blood Father	Vudu	HDX	$3	No
Bon Voyage Charlie Brown	Vudu/iTunes	HD	$4
Bram Stoker's Dracula	MA	4K	$6
Cabin in the Woods, The	iTunes	4K	$3.50	No
Calvary	MA	HD	$4.50
Centurion	Vudu	HDX	$4	No
Chaos Walking	Vudu/iTunes	4K	$5	No
Chappie	MA	HD	$3
Chasing Maverick	MA	HD	$4
Cinderella	MA	4K	$6
Contempt (Vaulted)	Vudu	HDX	$8	No
Contractor, The	iTunes	4K	$4
Countdown (Vaulted)	iTunes	HD	$5	No
Cowboys and Aliens	iTunes	HD	$3.50	Yes
Crawl	iTunes	4K	$4	No
Criminal	iTunes	4K	$3.50
Croods 1-2	MA	HD	$5
Cruella	MA	4K	$5
Cyrano	iTunes	HD	$5
Dark Tower, The	MA	4K	$4
Darkness, The	iTunes	HD	$2.50	Yes
Deadpool 2 Super Duper Cut	MA	HD	$3
Dementia 13 Directors Cut	Vudu/iTunes	4K	$6
Denist Collection, The	Vudu	HDX	$5	No
Detriot	iTunes	4K	$4	Yes
Don't Breathe	MA	HD	$4
Dope	iTunes	HD	$4	Yes
Downtown Abby	MA	HD	$3
Dracula Untold	iTunes	4K	$3	Yes
Dragged Across Concrete	iTunes	4K	$4	No
Dragged Across Concrete	Vudu	4K	$5	No
Dream Scenerio	Vudu	HDX	$4
Dredd	Vudu	4K	$4	No
Drop, The	MA	HD	$5
Duff, The	Vudu	HDX	$2.50	No
Elvis	MA	4K	$6
Everest	MA	4K	$5
Exorcist (1973) Version Never Seen	MA	4K	$6
Extreme Prejudice	Vudu	HDX	$4
Fantasic Beasts Secrets of Dumbledore	MA	4K	$6
Fast and the Furious	iTunes	4K	$4	Yes
Fast and the Furious Tokyo Drift	iTunes	4K	$3.50	Yes
Fast and the Furious, The	iTunes	4K	$3	Yes
Fear the Walking Dead Final Season	Vudu	HDX	$10
Finding Dora	iTunes	4K	$3.50	Yes
Flash, The	MA	4K	$6
Flashdance	Vudu	4K	$4.50	Yes
For the Love of Money	Vudu	4K	$5	No
Forger, The	Vudu	HDX	$3	No
Friday the 13th Part 2	Vudu/iTunes	HD	$3.50	No
Friday the 13th Part 3	Vudu/iTunes	HD	$3.50	No
From Here to Eternity	MA	4K	$4.50
Gattaca	MA	4K	$5
Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance	MA	HD	$3.50
Ghostbusters Afterlife	MA	HD	$3.50
Gimme Shelter	Vudu	HDX	$3.50	No
God's Not Dead 2	MA	HD	$3
Gran Turismo	MA	4K	$6
Grey, The	MA	HD	$3.50
Guilt Trip, The	Vudu	HDX	$3.50	No
Guilt Trip, The	iTunes	HD	$2.50	No
Hacksaw Ridge	iTunes	4K	$3.50	No
Hateful Eight, The	Vudu	HDX	$3.50
Hell on the Border	Vudu/iTunes	4K	$4	No
Hell or High Water	iTunes	4K	$3	No
Hell or High Water	Vudu	4K	$3.50	No
High Note, The	MA	HD	$3.50
Highlander	Vudu	4K	$4	No
Hitmans Bodyguard, The	iTunes	4K	$4	No
Hitmans Wife Bodyguard	iTunes	4K	$4
Holiday Inn	MA	HD	$3.50
Homefront	MA	HD	$4
Hook	iTunes	4K	$5	Yes
Hotel Mumbai	MA	HD	$4
Hunt for Red October, The	Vudu/iTunes	4K	$4.50
Identity Thief	iTunes	HD	$3.50
Indiana Jones The Last Crusade	Vudu/iTunes	4K	$5
Intersteller	Vudu/iTunes	4K	$4	No
Into the Woods (Disney)	MA	HD	$2.50
Invisable Man	MA	HD	$3.50
It Happened One Night	MA	4K	$4.50
Jackass 3	Vudu/iTunes	HD	$4
Jarhead 2	iTunes	4K	$3.50	Yes
Jigsaw	iTunes	4K	$3	No
Kill Bill Vol. 1	Vudu	HDX	$4	No
King of Staten Island	MA	HD	$3.50
Kingsman, The	MA	4K	$6
Kingsman: The Secret Service	iTunes	4K	$3.50	Yes
Knives Out	Vudu/iTunes	4K	$5	No
Last Christmas	MA	4K	$4
Last Duel, The	MA	HD	$4
Last House on the Left, The	MA	HD	$4.50
Last Night in Soho, The	MA	HD	$4
Last Picture Show, The	MA	4K	$5
Leap!	Vudu/iTunes	HD	$3.50	No
Let Him Go	MA	HD	$4
Lion King, The (2019)	MA	4K	$4
Little Mermaid, The	MA	HD	$3.50
Little Women	MA	HD	$4
Locked In	Vudu/iTunes	HD	$3.50	No
Logan	iTunes	4K	$3	Yes
Logan Lucky	MA	HD	$2.50
Magic Mike Last Dance	MA	HD	$3.50
Mall Cop 2	MA	HD	$3
Mary Poppins	MA	HD	$4
Mean Girls	Vudu/iTunes	4K	$6
Men Woman and Children	Vudu/iTunes	HD	$5	No
Middle School: Worst Year	iTunes	HD	$3	No
Mindgamers (Vaulted)	MA	HD	$5
Mission Impossible Ghost Protocol	Vudu	HDX	$2	No
Mission Impossible Rogue Nation	iTunes	4K	$3
Mitchells vs the Machine	MA	HD	$4
Moon	MA	4K	$6
Moonfall	Vudu/iTunes	4K	$5
Mortal Engine	MA	4K	$4.50
Mummy, The (1999)	iTunes	4K	$4	Yes
Murder on the Orient Express	MA	HD	$3.50
My All American	MA	HD	$4
My Best Friend is a Vampire	Vudu	HDX	$4
National Lampoons Xmas Vacation	MA	4K	$5
Nebraska	Vudu	HDX	$3.50
New York Melody	Vudu	HDX	$3.50	No
Night at the Museum	MA	HD	$4
Night Bofore, The	MA	HD	$3.50
Night House, The	MA	HD	$4
Nightmare Before Christmas	MA	4K	$6
Nightmare Before Christmas	MA	HD	$4
No Good Deed	MA	HD	$2.50
Oblivion	iTunes	4K	$4	Yes
Other Guys, The	MA	4K	$6
Parasite	MA	4K	$4.50
Parker	MA	HD	$3.50
Passengers	MA	HD	$3
Past Lives	Vudu	HD	$4.50
Phantom Thread	MA	4K	$5
Pitch Black (Unrated)	iTunes	HD	$4
Playing for Keeps	MA	HD	$3.50
Pocahontas	MA	HD	$4.50
Poms	iTunes	HD	$3	No
Pride and Prejudice and Zombies	MA	HD	$3
Primal Fear	Vudu	4K	$5	No
Promised Land	iTunes	HD	$3.50	Yes
R.I.P.D.	iTunes	4K	$4	Yes
Red 1-2	Vudu	4K	$9
Redemption (Humingbird)	Vudu	HDX	$4
Revenant, The	iTunes	4K	$3.50	Yes
Robin Hood	iTunes	4K	$3	No
Rogue One: A Star Wars Story	iTunes	4K	$3	Yes
Rough Night	MA	HD	$3.50
Rudy	MA	4K	$5
Runner Runner	MA	HD	$3
Rush	iTunes	HD	$3.50	Yes
Safe	Vudu/iTunes	HD	$2.50	No
Same Kind of Different as Me	Vudu	HDX	$2.50	No
Same Kind of Different as Me	iTunes	HD	$2.50	No
Sausage Party	MA	HD	$4
Scoob!	MA	HD	$4
Shazam: Fury of the Gods	MA	4K	$6
She Said	MA	HD	$5
Sicario	Vudu	4K	$4	No
Side Effects	iTunes	HD	$4	Yes
Silence	iTunes	HD	$4	No
Sing	MA	HD	$2.50
Sing	MA	HD	$2.50	No
Skyfall 007	Vudu	4K	$4
Skyfall 007	Vudu	HDX	$2
Skyscraper	MA	HD	$3
Sleepless in Seattle	MA	4K	$5
Sleepy Hallow	Vudu	4K	$4.50	No
Snowden	iTunes	HD	$2	Yes
Southpaw	Vudu	HDX	$3.50	No
Spell	iTunes	4K	$4	No
Spiderman: Across the Spider-Verse	MA	HD	$3.50
Spider-Man: Far from Home	MA	4K	$4.50
St. Vincent	Vudu	HDX	$3	No
Star Trek Trilogy (Kelvin Timeline)	iTunes	4K	$9	No
Sting, The	MA	HD	$3.50
Superman: Man of Tomorrow	MA	HD	$4
Superman: Red Son	MA	HD	$4
Survive the Night	iTunes	4K	$3	No
Talladega Nights	MA	4K	$6
Taxi Driver	MA	4K	$5
Terminator Dark Fate	Vudu	4K	$4	No
Terminator Genisys	iTunes	4K	$4	No
Terms of Endearment	Vudu/iTunes	4K	$4	No
Theory of Everything	iTunes	HD	$4	Yes
This is the End	MA	HD	$3.50
Thor	iTunes	4K	$5	Yes
To Kill a Mockingbird	iTunes	4K	$4.50	Yes
To Sir, With Love	MA	4K	$4.50
Top Five	Vudu	HD	$3	No
Top Five	iTunes	HD	$3	No
Top Gun	Vudu/iTunes	4K	$5	No
Top Gun Maverick	iTunes	4K	$5	No
Toy Story	iTunes	4K	$4	Yes
Toy Story 4	GP	HD	$2
Transformers Dark of the Moon	iTunes	4K	$4	No
Transformers Rise of the Beasts	iTunes	4K	$6	No
Transformers The Last Knight	iTunes	4K	$3.50	No
Trash	iTunes	HD	$6	Yes
Trumen Show, The	MA	4K	$5
Underworld Blood Wars	MA	4K	$4
Universal April Code	MA	HD	$3.50
Universal May Code	MA	HD	$3	Yes
Voyagers	Vudu/iTunes	4K	$4.50
Walking Dead Final Season	Vudu	HDX	$8.00
Wall-E	MA	4K	$7
Warm Bodies	Vudu	HDX	$2
We Die Young	Vudu/iTunes	HD	$3
West Side Story	MA	4K	$4
Whiplash	MA	4K	$5
Wild	iTunes	4K	$4	Yes
Wild Card	Vudu	HDX	$2.50	No
Winnie The Poo Springtime w/ Roo	GP	HD	$4
Wonder Woman: Bloodlines	MA	HD	$4
World War Z	iTunes	4K	$3.50	Yes
X	Vudu	HDX	$5

Everyone says don’t join something that you see online especially on Reddit or Facebook but i guess it depends on where you look I’m 100% with all this
Background story. (You can skip this) I am from Arizona I have been here 17 years and my famliy always went places but we always came back I’m 19 turning 20 now I have a good understanding of a lot because I was never around phones or fake shit I dropped out 8th grade and it was because of the agenda they pushed in my middle school let’s put this in terms that everyone should be able to catch on to
6th grade History,English,Math was taught by a short foreign Teacher that could barley speak English or know anything about America history he was good at math tho I will give the man that
(Side note) This is where it got me the most for the last 2 classes which were the longest I had a female foreign teacher that was putting on the news about the elections and the riots and the killings and everything that was going on then made us write what we thought and stand up and read it and for half a year I watch people turn on each other and form little groups that was left or right This is in middle school remind you I would go home day after day and watch political arguments and debates and old school debates and I educated myself so much for the people I was around from the school and from this country this happened all middle school until I said fuck it and didn’t go back they also tried to vaccinate me and that’s why I didn’t go back But from 14 to 19 turning 20 which is now I have learned so much about the bullshit and the realness of everything that’s why I ask you to join me and make AMERICA great AGAIN without politics or politicians (End)
In the old days 20 year olds did so much they were men and now if your like that no one your age will talk to you because you don’t play video games or do drugs Well they loss
A year now I had a voice in my head (in a good way) tell me AMERICA IS EVIL THEY ARE ALL EVIL DONT LISTEN TO THEM THEY ARE BRAINWASHING PEOPLE and I knew it was the truth and I put down my cup of alcohol and for the rest of the time from now I been seeing exactly what they have been doing to people like I said from 14 to 19 i educated myself on it all but that’s what THEY WANT you to do is be caught up in something so they can do what it is they do
I want to start something in the United state of America where you have a community of people who are broken free of the brainwashing and protects its people and land just like the people back in the day and I feel like if I have at least 25 to 40 people no matter what age but 18 and older to stand with and make this country great again it will make movement and we can reach the people
If you comment under this or dm me I will reach out to you with details and information and links

Didn't know whether to tag this as a table dispute or a DMing issue because it's sort of 50/50.
New to DMing, only about 2 months and half the handbook into figuring stuff out and learning as I go along, players are very okay with this because they also know basically nothing as this is all their first campaign outside of a maybe 1 or 2 having played a one-shots before.
I have 7 PCs (I host in a school and had to turn away so many people) but thought I could deal with 7 as the campaign seemed pretty short and basic. Honestly despite the large number of people I still believe I could host it if the entire party was actually cooperative.
5 of the 7 are probably the best players I could hope for, being super open to suggestions, interacting with all my NPCs, causing just the right amount of chaos to have fun but not derail my campaign completely, they just generally seem to be having so much fun working with the material I'm giving them which is such a relief as a new DM, because I was super afraid of boring them or doing something wrong having known none of them prior to hosting.
The main issue I'm having is with the other 2 PCs, one of them specifically being much worse than the other but they kinda come as pair having joined together as friends.
A little context before explaining the next part I'm 17F and these two players are 34M (who I'm gonna call B) & 31M (who I'm gonna call C). I have no problem with being the youngest of the group of 7, there's a range of ages of people closer in age to me as well as some in there early and late 20s, all a mix of men and women, but B & C do happen to be the oldest two.
B has been getting on my nerves since the first session we had, but I gave him the benefit of the doubt, chalking any interruptions or over eager attention grabbing as a first time player just trying to suss things out. When I got everyone to introduce their characters and explain any backstory, race features, personality all that fun stuff he seemed genuinely interested in playing so I was super hyped about having him as a player, he wanted to play a dwarven cleric, which I was interested in seeing, having a healer with a high AC is really helpful!
Campaign starts and I introduce the first encounter, giving an option for the party to run as they were only 2nd level with only their starting weapons and spells. B immediately attacks, no consulting the party, which is fine I guess, he's excited for combat and I'm pumped to run my first encounter. Party finishes first encounter, runs into the first NPC, a very important one that literally runs everything in the island their on, a little old woman sitting writing in the library.
I go to describe said little old lady and start to get into character, B immediately interrupts before I can finish my second word asks to behead her and rolls to attack. I'm running a pre bought campaign, not a clue how to to do a majority of things story progressing wise and this NPC is a very important pivot for plot. The other PCs are also appalled, wanting to enjoy their first ever NPC encounter, having many questions already about the place they're in and the encounter they've already had.
It becomes very apparent in the next few sessions that B is nothing but a murderhobo, supported by C who also thinks this is very entertaining, while the rest of the party have to spend every minute of their time watching the PCs and making sure they don't try to kill the plot and destroy everything in their sight in the process. My players have gone from having fun and being filled with excitement to having to watch B as a chore to ensure they can continue to play, going as far as to grapple and restrain him for half a session just to be able to investigate the area I had prepared without B killing the NPCs.
On top of this, in actual combat B is very impatient, constantly interrupting me on other players turns to ask if it's his turn yet. There's this unspoken rule that everyone very graciously follows, no phones at the table unless you need it for your character sheet, to check spells or something along those lines. B also constantly betrays that rule despite being asked not to, watching tiktok when I'm not directly addressing him, even answering phone calls in the middle of combat when it's not his turn and instead of leaving the room just talks over the table, again, despite being asked to leave the room if needing to answer phone calls or anything else that would cause disruption.
B's also been making me super uncomfortable, every week I come in he brags about his salary to me, even going as far as to pull up his pay slips in the middle of encounters (when it's not his turn) and interrupt another PCs turn to show me. I don't even give it the time of day anymore, it's rude to both me and the PCs and C is just as bad for supporting his actions.
It's annoyed me so much I brought it to the rest of the group and they all agree they're not the right fit for the party, they're both obviously looking for a combat heavy adventure which is not at all what I'm running. They bring very weird vibes to the table, C even messaging outside of the group chat we have (taking my number without my permission) and trying to start conversation. I ran into him after our session last week outside of the club with a friend as we coincidentally were in the same movie screening, and got a message afterwards asking if I would see a movie with him and his friends.
I don't know these people longer than maybe 6 weeks, only seeing them for 2 hours once a week. It's possible I'm reading into it and being overly cautious because of the sort of rep men have towards women in the gaming community, especially younger women, despite it being way better than previous decades past. The rest of the group do think it's weird though so I'm not alone in picking up the odd vibes two are bringing to the table.
TLDR: At the end of the day kicking them from the party is completely my decision as the DM and a smaller, well rounded, cooperative party is a lot easier to run with than murderhobos. I suppose my only fear is the backlash it might cause as I am running it in a school, funded by student services (the room we use, the dice, notebooks, handbooks, etc.) and kicking the two from the campaign may cause them to complain out of spite and get the whole club shut down, as they are both members of the student board.

I am a 23(F) and I asked out a girl i really like in my university over IG, at first our conversation was fine but then she ghosted me and now it gets super awkward when i meet her by coincidence (at least for me). i am a gay woman, i never learned to approach someone nor even thought about the possibility of doing it, but here i am at 23 years old starting to do the first move, because if i don’t no one will, (and i hate dating apps) Anyway this just a little rant, approaching girls is a fucking HARD thing especially if you’re an anxious person, kudos to you men, and please any advice on how to deal with rejection/ghosting

The gay trans man dating experience…
I’m a bisexual black trans man and I’m attracted to masculine men, trans or not, I don’t care. This rant is more focused on the black trans side of things. Whenever I’m online trying to find masculine black trans men..there isn’t none and if it is, they’re straight.
I feel like a lot of black trans men are scared of that target that’s prevalent in the black community for gay men, which I totally get. “You’re going to transition, but still date men, why not stay a girl?” The ignorance of transness is worldwide but if heavy in the black community.
Because of this, a lot of people choose to stay outside of gender norms and away from appearing cis, to avoid this target, while still dating men. It’s frustrating because when you see a masculine black trans man, and he isn’t straight, you get confused looks on both sides…
Had one trans ex friends tell me, “but you look like a dude”. And another ex friend say, “most guys wouldn’t be into you because you look too much like them.” LIKE WHAT?!

I recently read the original Venus in Furs novella by Sacher-Masoch and was struck by something I don’t think I’ve ever seen mentioned in connection to Eyes Wide Shut. As I’m sure y’all can relate to, I’ve always been haunted by Leelee Sobieski whispering “you should buy a cloak lined with ermine” to Tom Cruise in the costume shop, so when the narrator in Venus first mentions his sexual fantasy about a cruel woman in a “kazabaika” lined with ermine I immediately thought of that scene. Come to find as I read on there are probably two dozen references in the book to women in cloaks lined with ermine (it’s hard to find a translation but i’m pretty sure a kazabaika is also a type of cloak). It’s probably the most frequent image in the novella besides the whip, lol. I wouldn’t go so far as to say the EWS line is definitely a reference to VIF, but I’ve never seen that specific phrasing used other than in those two media. And I think there’s a lot of connection between the two when you’re looking for it.
For anybody not familiar, Venus in Furs is a story by an Austrian writer named Sacher-Masoch, whose life/work inspired the word “masochism” in reference to a sexual fetish for pain and humiliation. It’s from a similar time period and setting as Traumnovelle—late 1800s Austria. The book is basically a long sexual fantasy about the narrator being dominated and enslaved by a beautiful woman who whips and abuses him while wearing furs. There’s also a fair amount of philosophizing about relations between the genders, man vs woman, etc—as there is in Eyes Wide Shut. The thrust of the book’s argument is that sexual love always takes the form of domination/submission, and a woman instinctively wants domination over a man unless she’s truly in love with him, in which case she wants to submit. Infidelity/disloyalty also comes into play as one of the ways women naturally dominate and humiliate men they don’t respect. Again… very similar to much of the film’s theme.
From the book: “But it also depends on whether I am willing to risk it with you,” she said quietly. “I can easily imagine belonging to one man for my entire life, but he would have to be a whole man, a man who would dominate me, who would subjugate me by his innate strength, do you understand? And every man—I know this very well—as soon as he falls in love becomes weak, pliable, ridiculous. He puts himself into the woman’s hands, kneels down before her. The only man whom I could love permanently would be he before whom I should have to kneel.
From the screenplay: Just the sight of him stirred me deeply and I thought if he wanted me, I could not have resisted. I thought I was ready to give up you, the child, my whole future. And yet at the same time - if you can understand it - you were dearer to me than ever, and I stroked your forehead and kissed your hair, and at that moment my love for you was both tender and sad.
I think it’s striking how much resonance there is between the two themes. And again I really can’t overstate how often VIF uses the phrase “a [cloak/cape/coat] lined with ermine,” it’s seriously everywhere in the book. Arthur Schnitzler was an influence on Freud, while Sacher-Masoch influenced the sexologist Kraft-Ebbing; they wrote around the same time and on similar subjects, so I can definitely imagine Kubrick reading the latter during his work adapting the former. Anyone else read/watched both? Does my theory on the source of that line hold water? I’m interested to hear what people think (and if anyone else even cares this much about what that line might mean haha)

Two months have passed since I accepted my bisexuality. I have kinda known it for I had some same sex crushes over the years, although I always denied it until that one drinking game with kind and accepting queer friends. Everything is kinda new tho, also the bi cycle hits really hard. But I'm genuinely happy and I love myself for the first time in my life. :) I think about my previous 'straight' life sometimes. Like the fact that I remember that I had those crushes that I wouldn't have called crushes until my coming out to friends, and about how I would always be ashamed when anybody was talking about the gay community in a slightly negative manner.
Well, that life wasn't straight at all... the thing is, on top of feeling shame about my hidden sexual orientation, I had a single "fetish"? (I don't want to offend anybody, I just don't know if that's the proper word or not for what I have/am) That was crossdressing. I did it since I was 14 or so, and I even fantasized about it sooner (like 11-12). It turned me on sexually. I revisited it... still turns me on sexually. I think what the hell, I can't be trans, I wouldn't like to be trans :( at least not in Hungary. Even bisexuality is a pain in the ass here. And there's no kind of hormone therapy or else that would turn me into a beatiful woman since I'm a hairy, dad bodied guy flooded with testosterone.
The previous line of thought also suggests there's a chance I might be because I was like that (no way I can be queer) until I accepted I'm bi. However, I theorize that it all was a way to live out my bisexuality. Now I think it's a way to live out my submissiveness for men. And how I look when dressed as a woman doesn't matter, only the feeling, like satin, skirts, dresses and how the bra holds my man boobs, it feels really sexy. On the other side of things, if there was a magical pill that would turn me a hot biological woman for a certain period of time then I know I'd spend all my weekends as a woman. However, I could never say goodbye to my penis or beard forever😂 I could to my body hair, I would dig a laser therapy and I also would shave. Plus I know I would be happy as a woman too but I'm perfectly happy as a man who occasionally likes to try on bras, panties and dresses for fun.
For the coming out part: You know, hungarians in their fifties (like my parents) are usually homophobic as hell. Mine are only mildly homophobic. That means, they belong to the 'middle class' of people who say things against gay parent rights and pity Freddie Mercury about his unfortunate death. However, I'd take my chances because for years - dorm life in high school and uni's first year - I have been quite distant from them. I feel like I'm a double agent and I've had enough. I want a real, supportive mother and father from whom I could take advice in life's most private matters as well. I want what I feel I almost never had. I also want them to be a friend of mine. I won't tell my mother, she's too damn obstinate and seems to think what she says or does is always right. My father is a really good man I look up to: kind, always correct with people and always supportive of me. Now I'm at home but tomorrow I'll leave for uni (like 300 km) for nearly a month. I plan on telling that I'm bi, right before I leave, only to him. Tbh I fear he won't take it well and I just know he needs some time to digest all I will say. But now I don't need to tell him, I mean I don't yet have a boyfriend. But it will be easier if I do now, so it won't be so shocking then, IF I am by chance I settle for a guy. The only thing that bothers me is I don't feel that I can fully be myself at home and with them.
The bottom line:
So I'd like to seek out your advice. With all I've said, am I just a bi guy with a crossdressing fetish/femboy/egg?
Should I tell my father I'm bi and if yes, how shall I start? I get that he can only accept but not understand and this is sometimes even harder for fathers.
I'm sorry for the tangled up pieces of thoughts I have scraped on a sleepless night at four a.m. And for the long text as well. I'd really appreciate if you read it and helped. Plus, I don't know whether I should use the NSFW tag or not. For now (until you say otherwise) I'll keep it off because this way I might be able to reach out to more people.
Edit: Satirically, pardon me for my poor usage of the english language.😂 I feel that I must, like I'm too queer not to✌️🏳️‍🌈 (don't know which flag I should also use rn)

I'm obsessed with Victoria. We are meant to be <3 Has anyone read any good Victoria-centric fanfiction? It doesn't matter if it's a ship or not, or a long story or a one-shot. As long as Victoria is one of the main characters, I'm willing to read it.
And I'll give you a list of everything I've read that I like and can remember, because why not. XD
Absence: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10800219/1/Absence After the Cullens leave in NM, Victoria finds Bella, but can't bring herself to kill her. They get together, but Bella still can't forget her love for Alice. Victoria/Alice/Bella
A Family Affair: https://archiveofourown.org/works/34892245 "Victoria accidentally kills Carlisle, and is required by Volturi law to take over all of his duties and responsibilities." Absolutely hilarious, I've read this like five times. Victoria/Esme
A Mate for a Mate: https://archiveofourown.org/works/37906156 After Edward leaves in NM, Victoria turns Bella and they go on a quest for revenge. Plus my favorite humans Jessica and Angela are there :D (The series this is a part of has a lot of good one-shots, too) Victoria/Bella
Dinner Date: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28076571 "Jessica thwarts Victoria's murder plans and manages to score a date through the power of sheer frustration." Victoria/Jessica
Down By The Lake: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54768154 After James died, Jasper and Victoria have a chat. It's a part of a series but seems to be easily read on its own. I do also like the fic Pensiero Stupendo in this series though.
echo, antonym narcissus: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20078107 A short one-shot about Victoria as a child.
Ever After: https://archiveofourown.org/works/43976367 Victoria's not a main character, but I like her in this, and the fic is wild anyways. 17 years after Edward left, Bella finds out her mate was Jasper, has his children, and uncovers family secrets. JaspeBella, Victoria/Charlie
finding your ideal blood type: https://archiveofourown.org/works/34680418 Victoria kills James in Phoenix, and ends up meeting up with Bella until a romance forms. Victoria/Bella
Harvest Moon: https://archiveofourown.org/works/50611843 Instead of killing Bella, Victoria falls in love with her. It ends up going places that might be surprising. Victoria/Bella
Lifetimes Spent Loving You: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12568976/1/Lifetimes-Spent-Loving-You Victoria and Bella become friends. Bella and Jasper, and Victoria and James have always been together. Victoria/James, Bella/Jasper
Luminescence: https://archiveofourown.org/works/465249 TBH an absolute classic. Bella has a different gift, meets Victoria pre-Twilight, and Victoria is so cool as ever. Victoria/Bella
Meeting for the First Time ...again: https://archiveofourown.org/works/51190147 Victoria meets Tanya before becoming a vampire, and then they meet again hundreds of years later. Victoria/Tanya
Nouvelle Vie: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13790702/1/Nouvelle-Vie Google Translated from French because this is when I started getting desperate. Instead of killing Bella, Victoria becomes her friends instead during NM. JaspeBella
Revenge.: https://archiveofourown.org/works/37557376 (Still unfinished as of July 2023) Victoria finds Bella in NM, but she seems eager to get revenge on the Cullens for abandoning her. Victoria and Bella have a good friendship dynamic in this one. Bella/Caius
The Bleeding Ballerina: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/14153013/1/The-Bleeding-Ballerina (Still unfinished as of October 2022) James and his coven are the good guys, and only went after Bella to try and separate her from Edward and his creepy family.
The Wild Ones: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9291120/1/The-Wild-Ones Bella is Rosalie's daughter, but after Rosalie becomes a vampire, Bella is abandoned. Victoria finds her though and raises her, and they travel the world together. Bella/Tanya, Victoria/Irina
Whatever it takes: https://archiveofourown.org/works/48152476 During the baseball game, Victoria discovers she is Bella's mate. Edward is not happy about this. Victoria/Bella
Plus probably many more that I never bothered to bookmark! But please, if you've read anything that's not on here that's good, let me know! It doesn't even really matter if it's finished or not, just that Victoria's a main character.

Edit to preface: I’m 32f husband 33m. We’ve been together 11 years and have three children together.
Gay guys have texted me casually asking about him (2x), I’ve seems gay guys message him, he’s friends on social media with random gay guys, and he’s super suspicious with his friends, something I used to think of as them being playful but now I’m not so sure.
He’s never been very attracted to me. Our sex feels uncomfortably theatrical. Like he’s only doing it to play a part or make a point. I’m an attractive woman and I know I’m good in bed, he doesn’t even touch my body… any of it with his hands. He goes down on me but only to get me in the mood. He seems entirely disengaged, barely kisses me and when he does it’s so uncomfortable I can tell he’s only doing it because I mentioned how I thought it was weird. When I asked why he doesn’t finger me he said because he doesn’t like to do that. I’m a very attractive and sexual woman, and the thought of my partner wanting me is a must for me. The thought of having sex with my gay husband for the sake of his deception feels pathetic so clearly not at all sexy.
The only time he got aggressive during sex was in the shower. Something he requested in the middle of watching Tom Brady’s Roast. He was urgent about that one. He didn’t even care that I wasn’t in the mood. He was aggressive and rough and I couldn’t quite get in the mood because I do believe he only got so fired up because cause he was watching other fit men. He’s always been athletic and super into his body and sports and the gym which means I quite literally married the cliche dickhead from high school but the worst one, the gay one.
I have nothing against gay people, just never wanted to be married to one seeing as how I’m a straight woman. I’ve given him three sons. My body hasn’t changed, I’m fit and curvy but not too curvy. Pretty face. Very attractive by almost all men’s standards. Except his. His enthusiasm towards me in non existent. He has no urgency for me or my body. Not only that but he has little to no urge to protect me. And I think he’s more jealous of me than over me when I get hit on by other men.
It’s all very bizarre and I resent the shit out of him for deceiving me like this and taking such a big part of my life and sexual experiences just to use it up for something as superficial as his sexuality, something that didn’t have to hurt anyone but it’s as if he just always accepted my personal anguish a necessary sacrifice he was willing to make. And aside from the obvious betrayal of infidelity and putting my health at risk, I’m a sexual person. I still feel inclined to be with a man physically but I won’t step out of my marriage to do so… but I’m not attracted to men who are attracted to men, nor am I attracted to men who are supposed to protect me and our children but instead put us all at risk for the sake of …. Sex. So I as a sexual woman have to be celibate or fk a gay man who betrays me daily?
Those options suck.

I am only 19 so I don't really know much about most things, but I know if I'm with a man I would like a more "traditional" relationship (me doing the womanly things and him taking care of me and doing the manlier things) I have my reasons for this. But I also just honestly feel like no matter what, even if I had a "50/50" relationship it would just never be equal..
I feel I'd still be the one doing most of the womanly things, (cleaning childcare etc) so why would I want that for myself while also having to work and not feel taken care of which is what I feel I need to feel safe and happy in a relationship.
Also the reason I feel that way too, is because I have also heard stories from women where the men act like they can't do certain things properly or do a bad job purposely or just don't try knowing she will end up. Same with childcare. I don't want that while also having to struggle working and coming home to do more.
However, I have also seen women in these kinds of relationships (more traditional) and she is unhappy and overworked. I don't want that either...! I want someone who genuinely cares about me and can afford for me to be able to treat myself and self care days etc. I grew up around that type of relationship and always was never interested as there was also alot of abuse. But now I'm older and know if I don't put up with certain behaviour I won't have to suffer.
I would like to maybe work part time doing something i enjoy as I have a few girly things I'd be interested in doing and making a small business out of.... But if I'm in a relationship, I want to be fully looked after financially - and I of course would want him to be happy too. I have no interest in using a man or anything like that but I also won't get used hence to why I have these standards.
Does it even exist though?... I want a true connection where we are both happy, and for him to actually care about me and making sure I'm okay even if something happened.
Sorry if I rambled on but how do you ladies ensure you will be okay if you're dependant on a man? Did he do something to make sure? If so, what is it?? I want to have all of those things for my own peace of mind. 😊 It's not in an entitled way either, I'm just trying to look out for myself and my figure children! Part of me even feels like I'd want him to pay me a certain amount per month and have the rest as spending money but maybe that's not doable idk. But I want him to want to do that for me. I don't understand how a man can care about you if he doesn't do all of that (make sure his woman is OK)
Posted this to other subs but thought it fit here too. 😊

Common Channeling- 29 Ways Demons Enter

1. Ouija Board-Reputable spiritual leaders and experts have long warned against using Ouija Boards and their variants, as they can potentially expose individuals to malevolent forces. The idea of “safe” communication with angels through these boards is often a deceptive marketing ploy.
2. Angel Boards—While proponents may claim that Angel Boards provide a safe and spiritual way to connect with the divine, these devices can open the door to potential dangers. The use of such boards has been linked to occult practices and the summoning of entities that may not have our best interests in mind.
3. Consulting spiritual mediums—Spirit mediums claim to communicate with the dead. In a world of uncertainty, many people turn to spirit mediums for guidance, closure, and a connection to the beyond. These individuals claim to be able to communicate with the dead, see into the future, and uncover hidden truths. But are these abilities genuine or merely an elaborate illusion? However, the validity of these claims has long been a subject of skepticism and debate.
4. Consulting psychics – Delving into the realm of the occult, where demonic forces are said to hold sway, carries with it a weight of spiritual and moral consequence that should not be taken lightly. As rational beings, we must carefully examine the claims made by those who purport to possess the ability to peer into the future and question the true source of their knowledge.
5. Demon Teleaphaty – The mechanics of this demonic telepathy are not fully understood, but it is believed to operate on a metaphysical level beyond the normal bounds of the physical world. The demon’s consciousness somehow intertwines with the host’s, allowing for the seamless injection of foreign thoughts and urges. This creates an intimate, parasitic connection that the victim may be powerless to resist or expel.
6. Spells – These carefully crafted incantations are more than words – they are the fabric of enchantment, woven together to manifest desired outcomes.
7. Curses – These spoken words of harm or punishment, imbued with the power of magic, have the potential to wreak havoc on the lives of their targets
8. Fortunetelling – Whether through interpreting dreams, reading tarot cards, or analyzing astrological patterns, the art of foretelling offers a unique perspective on the unfolding of events.
9. Spirit guides – Through channeling, we can summon spirit guides that are aligned with our unique needs and highest good. These guides come in many forms – from departed loved ones to angelic beings to ascended masters – each offering a distinct perspective and specialized knowledge.
10. Satanism – Satanism is not about worshipping a literal Satan but rather an extreme form of individualism and self-worship. Satanists believe in taking responsibility for their own actions and pursuing their desires without guilt or shame.
11. Witchcraft involves harnessing the natural energies of the world around us and using them to manifest our desires. Whether casting a spell to attract abundance, performing a ritual to enhance personal growth, or simply connecting with the earth’s rhythms.
12. Automatic handwriting involves the spirit or energy of a deceased individual taking control of the subject’s hand and guiding the pen across the page to convey their thoughts and wisdom.
13. Astral Projections -This out-of-body experience allows the astral body to explore the spiritual dimensions beyond our physical world.
14. Generational Demons – These “generational demons” are dark patterns and destructive tendencies that seep into our lives through our bloodline. While it may feel like an inescapable fate, we have the power to break these cycles of darkness.
15. Spiritual Husband or Wife – plaguing unsuspecting individuals – the rise of the “spirit spouse” or “spirit husband/wife.” This demonic entity assumes the identity of a person’s spouse, infiltrating their lives and relationships with the sole purpose of spiritual and emotional destruction. Sexual demons
16. Physical sex-straight or gay

—

Negative Emotions

Negative emotions can serve as a gateway for demonic influences to take hold in our lives. It’s essential to be aware of how these toxic feelings can open the door for malevolent forces to infiltrate our existence.
Emotions like anger, fear, resentment, and jealousy can act as conduits for demons to enter and wreak havoc. Unresolved trauma, addictions, and unhealthy attachments also make us vulnerable to potential demonic possession.
We must be vigilant in addressing and overcoming these negative emotional states. Failure to do so can pave the way for dark energies to take root and cause untold damage. By cultivating positivity, self-awareness, and spiritual fortitude, we can safeguard ourselves against the insidious influence of demonic forces that seek to prey upon our weaknesses.

Understanding the Connection Between Demons and Negative Emotions

By understanding the connection between negative emotions and demonic presence, individuals can take proactive steps to safeguard their mental and spiritual well-being. Cultivating positive thoughts and emotions is crucial to creating a protective shield against these malevolent forces. Through forgiveness, mindfulness, self-reflection, and spiritual practices, we can fortify our defenses and reclaim our lives from the grip of these unwanted entities.
Anger, fear, resentment, jealousy, and other toxic feelings open the door for these malevolent forces to infiltrate our lives. Unresolved trauma, addictions, and unhealthy attachments also make us vulnerable to demonic possession.
By understanding the connection between negative emotions and demonic presence, individuals can take proactive steps to safeguard their mental and spiritual well-being. Cultivating positive thoughts and emotions is crucial to creating a protective shield against these malevolent forces. Through mindfulness, self-reflection, and spiritual practices, we can fortify our defenses and reclaim our lives from the grip of these unwanted entities.

Common types of negative emotions intensified by demons:

1. fear (all types)
2. Suicide
3. Jealousy
4. Bitterness
5. Strife
6. Depression
7. worry
8. pride
9. fatigue
10. Addictions
11. Gluttony
12. Generational bloodline Detecting these generational bloodline demons is no easy task as they remain hidden, subtly shaping one’s emotional state over time. The transfer of these demons through bloodlines perpetuates a cycle of negativity that persists until confronted and cast out. Understanding and addressing these vulnerable moments is crucial in breaking free from their grip and reclaiming emotional well-being for oneself and future generations.

Christians Can Have a Demon

Christians have a Demon because they sin. What are some other reasons Christians can have a demon?
In addition, Christians can have a demon if they invite a demon to direct communication. Christians participating in channeling activities can have demons because they have violated a very important spiritual law. This spiritual law states God does not want anyone to communicate with other spirits.
This is a common reason that all Christians have a demon because they sin and do not repent. In reality, many Christians can have demons because they do not believe in the devil or know how to protect themselves from the devil.
God does not force Christians to follow Him alone. If a Christian invites a demon to communicate, God will permit the demon’s entrance. Even if the person wants the demon to leave, the demon will stay unless it is cast out by self-deliverance (for Christians), self-exorcism, or exorcism with a deliverance team.

I had watched this movie once when it came out, then again just the other day with a friend. And we were discussing the ending, pitching to each other what we thought about meant. As it show's 3 similar scenes with different outcomes, the middle outcome being him committing suicide.
At first I looked at it as a passage of time montage, so my take that he continued to life his life normally for a while, then decided he couldn't do it any longer, and finally we get a glimpse of his version of the afterlife. Which I don't think is necessarily the worst interpretation. But with the last image of the movie being Petra smiling in a white background, it didn't feel as a particularly satisfying interpretation.
So then I finally decided to give up and search for what other people thought coming to this fantastic analysis by The Love Pirate, in which he or her or they? say this " She gives him a final kiss and leaves, and we see three possible endings for Zimit, each beginning with him walking down the hall to his office and taking a seat at his desk. First, he simply opens his lunch and eats a sandwich, going on with his life as normal. In the second one he pulls a gun out his drawer and we hear a gunshot, the assumption being that he ended his life rather than go on without Petra. In the third, he sits at his desk and has a vision of Petra smiling, symbolizing that he might have learned something from her in this final class and is following her example."
That last sentence stuck in my mind, and I began to think "what if it's deeper than that?" I started thinking about how there were 3 doomsday scenarios, and 3 endings for Zimmit. And was trying to figure out if there was a parallels for each of the endings and each iteration of the thought experiments. And this is what I came up with when re-examining the final scenes of the movie based on the inspiration of The Love Pirate.
After Petra give Mr. Zimmit her goodbye kiss , both of them relax on opposite sides of a wall. Petra staring ahead, while Mr. Zimmit leans his head into the wall, as if he does still love her and explains the etymology of the word Apocalypse. "To uncover what you couldn't see before, a way out of the Dark."
The entire movie so far has been Mr. Zimmit trying to convince Petra time and time again using logic that James isn't the best decision for her to make as a life choice. He acts over attached, and petty about being broken up with, and has been hyperfocused on getting her to see things from his perspective.
When Mr Zimmit is explaining it,he's humbly and sheepishly apologizing for his behavior, but also thanking Petra for helping him out of his selfish mindset. He didn't stop to think about living life from anyone else's philosophy other than his own that was ruled by cold hard logic.
To which Petra replies, "Your sweet talk still needs work." A playful jab, but it's clear she doesn't hate him or demonize him for what he had done that day. In a way she's even saying with a little work, he'd still get be capable of being happy in life even if it's not with her. It's a student becomes the teacher moment when he replies. "I'll work on that."
In that last line Petra reassures him that he's a very good teacher. She had learned a lot from him and is grateful for the experience despite the lows, she still values him greatly.
At this point, what I think is happening, Erik Nimmit on the spot starts running himself thru the three scenarios using Petra's philosphy, a basic test of empathic thinking.
He walks up the stairs , sits in his office and takes a bite out of his sandwich, but he's thinking about the conflict that drove them apart in the first thought experiment. Petra couldn't trust him. From her perspective he executed everyone who didn't make the cut for the bunker with no witnesses. He identified as a wild card, and even though Petra was using the emotion of fear to make that decision, It was still a logical decision to make.
Him eating the sandwhich is him envisioning himself the outcome of being an untrustworthy partner. Alone in his office living life day to do without someone. The consequence of who he is inside.
He walks up the stairs, this time retrieving a handgun from his drawer and ending his life. The parallel to what he had done in the second iteration would be the likely outcome of if Zimmit used that same brutal logic in real life. If his logic would compel him to force people to have multiple partners , sleep with someone who wasn't all that keen on them to sleep with him, or force gay people to sleep with people they weren't attracted too. His logic would make him so ugly even to himself that he'd end his life.
Finally Mr Zimmit walks up the stairs, and closes his eyes. Remembering Petra. I no longer thing that this was some after life vision. But him thinking about her being happy in her future life. The white backround doesn't seem ethereal... it seems cold, and she's wearing a sweater.
In the third scenario Petra fully takes over the thought experiment, She says, In my apocolypse no life is more valuable than another. Logic alone can not make your life more meaningful, contrasting to one of the the first statements Mr. Zimmit makes in the movie. That most people are nutters by the age of 40. He had spent the entire movie looking down on people with a lower intellect, or different sexualities, or their life circumstances or situations, In a way to make himself more attractive to Petra. And finally he realized how ugly it made him, and Petra was the one who taught him that. Now he could finally move on, and be happy for her future even if he wouldn't be in it.
But I'd love to hear from any other fans of this movie , do you think i'm onto something here?

my friend (18 f) has been sending me (18 f) mixed signals since fall last year and it dont really know what to make of it. for context, ive been and out lesbian since middle school and i met this girl at the beginning of junior year through one of my childhood friends. I sat with my childhood friend and her friend group for lunch because she offered and i didnt have anyone else to sit with. throughout the year i got close to all of them and they ended up being my main friend group that year and me and this one girl especially got close. we just really hit it off and were really good friends. that summer i had this group over a couple of times and we hung out a bunch. my timeline of all the important events to the story are kinda janky but im gonna do my best to them in order. summer rolls around and everything is fine, me and this girl get even more close and were basically texting everyday about random stuff, just being friends. it isnt until senior year started that everything started being weird. when i got my schedule for the year i realized i had none of my friends in any classes, i didnt know anyone so i didnt see that group during the day but we all talked and stuff outside of school. she held a halloween party every year and i went, me her and my childhood friend went to a pumpkin patch, normal stuff. some time passes and one night in novemeber we get to texting. we had been doing this thing for a few weeks where shed ask me for a movie recommendation and live text me as she watched it. so were watching the movie and texting and somehow the conversation took a turn to the topic of relationships. she was just venting to me about all her insecurities and fears when it comes to talking to people and i was offering m support, me and my friends vent to each other all the time so it was pretty normal. she had identified as bi for as long as id known her but had beeing talking about how she thought she was only attracted to men and that all the girls shed either liked or pursued she envied or was jealous of in some capacity. i told her i totally understood and was offering as much support as i could having very similar experiences with me. as the convo went on i started giving more input not wanting to seem uninterested to i started telling her some of the things im insecure about in relationships (i have zero experience when it comes to this stuff, ive never even talked to a girl before but i still have my issues) and everytime i listed one, she would say something like 'but i like that in a person'. the first time i didnt think much of it but it became a pattern after the next 5 times and soon after that she sent the message 'if only you were a boy or i liked girls'. i think its self explanatory as to why thats shitty but it didnt really bother me in the moment, i thought it was weird but i dont think it had hit me. soon after that night, wed gone to my childhood friends birthday party and everything was fine. the next weekend she asked me to go to six flags with her, and the way she worded it made it sound like it was gonna be a group thing but it ended up being just us. it was a pretty normal hangout, i mean there was an appropriate amount of awkwardness but we both just really enjoyed each others company. i went to the school musical to see her and a couple of my other friends about a month after that but she gradually stopped texting and i stopped texting first and we didnt talk from january to march after that. then after two months of no communiction, she invited me to her birthday pool party. now forgive me if im reading too far into this, but seeing someone for the first time in months while youre all half naked is kinda weird, no? anyways i go to the party and its very awkward. i hadnt seen anyone all year especially her and i just tried to make the best of the situation. that night we had our first convo since our 'hiatus' and i ended up watching a movie she reccommended. few days after that, we started talking semi regualry again and i told her i missed talking to her because i did and we just kinda caught each other up on stuff that had happened since we last talked. we went to another party for another one of our friends and stayed up to listen to the new taylor swift album together but its evident we arent as close or as comfortable as we used to be. prom rolls around and she makes dinner reservations for our group, one of our friends gets a last minute date and she makes a big deal over adding him so late bc it was a hassle but added someone upon my request immediately. prom night she also avoided eye contact with me a bit at dinner and i didnt see her a whole lot at the dance itself. the last few songs i was with her and a couple of our other friends singing and dancing (she wouldnt make eyecontact with me at all while we were btw) and to my surprise, when all walked off and one of the last slow dances started she asked me to dance. i said yes because why not, its prom and we danced. it wasnt anything weird or awkward, it was actually really nice. after the dance, our whole big group went and hungout at her house after and she didnt really acknowledge me. like usually when shes avoiding me i can tell, but she just didnt even acknowldge my existence really. its the day after, prom was last night and i don't really know how to feel. i guess im just askinf for advice on what to make of this or whether i should ask her about any of this? i dont really know.

I am only 19 so I don't really know much about most things, but I know if I'm with a man I would like a more "traditional" relationship (me doing the womanly things and him taking care of me and doing the manlier things) I have my reasons for this. But I also just honestly feel like no matter what, even if I had a "50/50" relationship it would just never be equal..
I feel I'd still be the one doing most of the womanly things, (cleaning childcare etc) so why would I want that for myself while also having to work and not feel taken care of which is what I feel I need to feel safe and happy in a relationship.
Also the reason I feel that way too, is because I have also heard stories from women where the men act like they can't do certain things properly or do a bad job purposely or just don't try knowing she will end up. Same with childcare. I don't want that while also having to struggle working and coming home to do more.
However, I have also seen women in these kinds of relationships (more traditional) and she is unhappy and overworked. I don't want that either...! I want someone who genuinely cares about me and can afford for me to be able to treat myself and self care days etc. I grew up around that type of relationship and always was never interested as there was also alot of abuse. But now I'm older and know if I don't put up with certain behaviour I won't have to suffer.
I would like to maybe work part time doing something i enjoy as I have a few girly things I'd be interested in doing and making a small business out of.... But if I'm in a relationship, I want to be fully looked after financially - and I of course would want him to be happy too. I have no interest in using a man or anything like that but I also won't get used hence to why I have these standards.
Does it even exist though?... I want a true connection where we are both happy, and for him to actually care about me and making sure I'm okay even if something happened.
Sorry if I rambled on but how do you ladies ensure you will be okay if you're dependant on a man? Did he do something to make sure? If so, what is it?? I want to have all of those things for my own peace of mind. 😊 It's not in an entitled way either, I'm just trying to look out for myself and my figure children! Part of me even feels like I'd want him to pay me a certain amount per month and have the rest as spending money but maybe that's not doable idk. But I want him to want to do that for me. I don't understand how a man can care about you if he doesn't do all of that (make sure his woman is OK)
I made this post because I'm scared to fully rely on a man, I want to know any things women or their partner has done to ensure the woman has security no matter what! I truly believe if a man cares about you he'd want that for you.

Hey trans. I’m looking at coming out for the second time (like as a clarification) to my mom. My dad is dead. He had trans friends, and when the issue came up he would tell the story of an AMAB trans woman who transitioned, then detransitioned, then re-transitioned. I hope this will help if there’s resistance.
I grew up with like 4 men in my family, one was a peer one was not involved one was someone my mother cited as someone not to be like. He’s learned a lot and I love him very much and I really admire the work he’s put into making sure his family knows he loves them. The last(first) was my dad he died when I was 18. I know and don’t feel this is a tragedy I just think when I was supposed to Man all my advice came from women. I’m Not saying this transed me there were lots of signs. I mention this because I was psychotic a year ago and thought I was gonna be killed and said use feminine or neutral pronouns if I die unexpectedly. She will use neutral pronouns or my name and correct herself if she says he/him. I think part of this is really don’t have her experience of womanhood (born in 1960, father died when she was 10, raised three siblings and me and she was my dads third wife and he was the same age as her mom.)
like what do I even say? How can I even tell her this shit in a way she sees it? Can I ever? I think I referenced all this shit like imitation is the sincerest form of flattery? Any tip’s appreciated.
Edit 3: I’ve been on hormones since somewhere between 9/2020- 3/2021 I’ve filled out different my face is different (as said by m ltp who turned to me and said “…Your face looks different!!!”) I have NOTICEABLE breasts (another trans friend asked if I was transitioning because they “couldn’t help but notice the tits.”) like you can’t not I wear a bra every day I just have the wide shoulders and rib cage testosterone will give you. My intitial plan was to transition until it had to be acknowledged, but that’s had limited success. And the flesh DOES NOT denote the gender it doesn’t even denote the sex but going from looking like an ugly Will Toledo to have a round face a breasts and wearing dresses every day above 70’. My mom is kind and supportive and I want to explain this to her with kindness and support but also have it click.

I am only 19 so I don't really know much about most things, but I know if I'm with a man I would like a more "traditional" relationship (me doing the womanly things and him taking care of me and doing the manlier things) I have my reasons for this. But I also just honestly feel like no matter what, even if I had a "50/50" relationship it would just never be equal..
I feel I'd still be the one doing most of the womanly things, (cleaning childcare etc) so why would I want that for myself while also having to work and not feel taken care of which is what I feel I need to feel safe and happy in a relationship.
Also the reason I feel that way too, is because I have also heard stories from women where the men act like they can't do certain things properly or do a bad job purposely or just don't try knowing she will end up. Same with childcare. I don't want that while also having to struggle working and coming home to do more.
However, I have also seen women in these kinds of relationships (more traditional) and she is unhappy and overworked. I don't want that either...! I want someone who genuinely cares about me and can afford for me to be able to treat myself and self care days etc. I grew up around that type of relationship and always was never interested as there was also alot of abuse. But now I'm older and know if I don't put up with certain behaviour I won't have to suffer.
I would like to maybe work part time doing something i enjoy as I have a few girly things I'd be interested in doing and making a small business out of.... But if I'm in a relationship, I want to be fully looked after financially - and I of course would want him to be happy too. I have no interest in using a man or anything like that but I also won't get used hence to why I have these standards.
Does it even exist though?... I want a true connection where we are both happy, and for him to actually care about me and making sure I'm okay even if something happened.
Sorry if I rambled on but how do you ladies ensure you will be okay if you're dependant on a man? Did he do something to make sure? If so, what is it?? I want to have all of those things for my own peace of mind. 😊 It's not in an entitled way either, I'm just trying to look out for myself and my figure children! Part of me even feels like I'd want him to pay me a certain amount per month and have the rest as spending money but maybe that's not doable idk. But I want him to want to do that for me. I don't understand how a man can care about you if he doesn't do all of that (make sure his woman is OK)
I made this post because I'm scared to fully rely on a man, I want to know any things women or their partner has done to ensure the woman has security no matter what! I truly believe if a man cares about you he'd want that for you.