Happy birthday mom quotesappy birthday mo

This is a weird one, but I saw a post on Twitter or Threads the other day (or maybe it was on Reddit??) that a woman posted of herself as a child biting her mom, accompanied by the story of the photo, which is that a surprise party was thrown for her at school one day, and when they threw the lights on and took the picture it scared her so much that she bit her mom.
Ridiculous request, and thank you for any assistance finding this! Googling/searching on each site has not yielded the result I’m looking for. I swear I saw this within the past month.

A little background: I was around 13 (oldest daughter of 3 siblings) when my parents went through a very nasty, very drawn out divorce and in the process my dad showed his true narcissist colors and very quickly became someone that I couldn’t keep in my life for the sake of my own mental health. I couldn’t keep up with the lying, the child neglect, the manipulation, the alcoholism, the apparent lack of interest or involvement in being a father to us, or the violent outbursts/emotional abuse that he displayed daily. We more or less all decided to go no-contact after a year or two, and eventually stopped holding out for any sort of apology or change in behavior.
Today we’re all adults ranging in age from 18-26, and while I hear from his mom and sister on Facebook occasionally (most recently congratulating my fiancé and I on our engagement), he’s been radio silent toward me for a little over a decade. I assumed it was nothing personal for years until my brother and sister mentioned the other day that they hear from him on birthdays and the occasional holiday, and now it’s definitely personal. I’m not sure if I just knew too much and that’s why he pretends I don’t exist or if I’m just straight up too much like my mom for him, but fuck, it’s a shitty feeling.

So I'm really upset I've been waiting 3/4 years on a waitlist for transitional housing to help me gain independence and leave my over-stimulating family, my mothecaretaker and my worker have made a goal to get me into transitional housing so I can get to live on my own one day this all came into place when I was 17 before my 18th birthday I'm 20 now and I have 3 younger siblings who are loud and over-stimulating I also live in a 4 bedroom townhouse with them which is hard. I'm starting to struggle mentally I've begged my mom I've had meltdowns.

So this is going to be a long story, but a very intriguing one (or so my friends say). Bear with me and if you could offer some advice on what to do please share. I know I'm probably just young and naive but I feel like the pain will never stop. Like I'm going to always be held back by this particular experience.
Also sorry for any grammatical or spelling errors, English isn't my first language.
So all of this begins October of 2022 when I 18M (at the time) moved to a new city to study film. I was lucky enough to have good grades and be so passionate about this art that it kind of felt incredible to have this new beginning. I rented a small house which I decorated with my collections and all my stuff and ended up loving every second spend in it.
I'm Not very social. Thats just a fact. I've always had my school friends and some people from other activities but none of them really felt like they understood me. No sade to them, I really love them, it's just that I know my hobbies and personality are niece and weird so we don't always see eye to eye. So I wanted to overcome my social anxiety and meet new people.
For the first semester I was all alone. Completely. Spent days upon days without leaving my house if I didn't have school and even didn't have any actual human interaction if not necessary. I didn't realise how much I was hurting myself. The Second semester, someone approached me in school and asked if I could help them with the editing for their final movie, let's call him Jacob 18M. I already was searching for a group project to join in order to pass the class so this felt like a sweet deal. The group was Jacob and let's call them Ellie 18F and Hannah 18F.
With time we started talking about more then just the movie. I was really surprised by how many things we had in common. It was the first time someone I met liked musical theatre or (and this is gonna sound sad, please don't judge me) people didn't want me to leave whenever I approached them. They invited me to things, to their homes and after school and to trips at the beach ect. We were together almost every day. Till late at night or through it. Just the 4 of us. Felt like we could rule the world.
One day i thought Ellie was flirting with me. That was a weird feeling. I'm not very good looking and had a lot of extra weight so that was pretty much the first time but my friends told me that was the case from what I was describing. I mentioned it to Jacob and he told me something I didn't expect. He told me him and Ellie were in an open relationship and were hiding it from everyone except Hannah because of his ex who was in school with us. He also confessed he once had a crush on me and that's why he approached me in the first place. He also saw Ellie flirting with me but was ok with it due to the "rules of their relationship".
I was ok with not having a romantic relationship with Ellie. She would actually become one of the closest friends I've ever had. Or so I thought.
I actually started having a crush on Hannah. She loved some of the movies I loved. Had some of my quirks so I didn't feel ashamed around her and she started watching my favourite tv show with me. During our time together everyone (even her sister and Jacob who found out I liked her) told us that when we were together we could only see each other. As if we had a unique way of communication that nobody else could understand.
I confessed my crush and she told me she felt the same way but that there where 2 problems. First that she gets very anxious about relationships, has only ever been to one and had never kissed anyone. I assured her I wasn't going to pressure anything and I only cared for her and wanted to go on a date sometime. She replied she would like that very much. The second problem she confessed was that she was in love with Jacob for months now but nobody knew. Then everything made sense. The things she did for him and all. How she acted around him. I was surprised I didn't notice it before. She told me she wanted to get over it and proceed to ask to kiss me. We kissed a lot but nothing more that night. She went home after a few hours.
The next day Hannah she felt very distant. We wanted to go to the movies with Ellie but she disappeared all day. Late at night she asked my to go for a walk since we lived near each other. Then she told me she wanted to forget everything and last night was a mistake. That her anxiety has gotten into her and although she really wanted a relationship she couldn't be in one. The next few days we talked again and she said she didn't share any of this with Jacob to have someone in the group I could talk to if I needed help. Ellie was that for her.
It was already summer so we all went to our home towns. I missed her a ton. We stilled talked and the other 2 knew something was off with me. About 2 moths later we all went to Hannah's summerhouse for vacation. We were having fun, getting drunk and all that 19-year old stuff. One night me and Hannah were watching my show together and the time felt right so I asked to kiss her. She told me no and finally told me the truth. Turns out she liked that we flirted but after kissing me she realised it wasn't anything more. Also everyone knew except me. But after all this time I had realised I was in love with this girl. I told her if she could keep all of this to herself and she said yes.
We were all still friends. But I couldn't let go. My mental health began to decent and I started feeling like they would leave me out of stuff to go hang out alone and during October I tried talking some time away to see if they would even talk to me if I didn't. They didn't even say good morning once. I tried again and again. Jacob and Ellie said we all need to talk together. They repeated the same words. Like as if it was rehearsed. I went to "the talk".
Jacob did most of the talking. He talked about boundaries and how after everything between me and Hannah the group hasn't been the same. That after I didn't tell him what happened in our vacation they went to her and forced Hannah to do so. They where all attacking me. I heard lie after lie and all followed up with "we just need some time" and that all of this was cause they loved me.
I have discussed what they accused me of with friends, family and therapists. Although I didn't not believe it at first they all confirmed it was finding little details in my day-to-day behaviour (unrelated to all of the above) and using it to kick me out. They didn't intend of even speaking to me again. Lies feed to everyone by Jacob.
I went away. I don't know if it was for the better. But for a few weeks at first and then months later, I went back to my home town. Their lies became actual blame and I got a message from Ellie saying that we are done (just one month after trying to convince me they needed time and confessing she in particular didn't even notice anything until her boyfriend accused me).
Last time I saw any of them was in December when I gave Hannah her Christmas present. I told her I wasn't trying to get her back and I would continue to keep my distance since my first priority is what she wants and I meant that. I really do love her and would do anything for her to be happy. But I miss her a ton.
It's been 5 months since then. I stopped going to school and kept my distance from anyone related to that life. I have depression and cannot think about anything else. I heard that Jacob still talk shut about me to everyone. I have realised what has happened and have discussed this with multiple common friends who have confirmed this. Jacob is Manipulating the other 2 because of the bad relationship with his parents. He knows Ellie won't do anything with anyone else despite the "open" relationship due to her luck of confidence (so it only works for him). She need him to operate in public and to deal with her extreme anxiety so he takes advantage of that and Hannah follows him everywhere with the excuse of just being a good friend.
There are so many things I couldn't include (this is a hugh post already) about more lies and proof that they where bad for me. But I can't move on. I have seeked medical help but I just cant imagine my life in the future without them. Everything is a reminder of what we've been through. Jacob used to call me his family and when I begged him for our friendship back he didn't even care. Not on my birthday, not on new years... never. I lost all of them.
I'm back now. Not sure why, whether I'm back to continue my studies or to see if I could win them back. If I could have Hannah in my life in sime form. But I'll probably see them tomorrow morning (I randomly walked behind them today, don't think they noticed me).
What should I do?
TL,DR: The girl I'm in love with stopped talking to me along with my 2 best friends. I can't move on and I'm supposed to face them again in school after not seeing them for months. They all lied to me and nothing seem to help. I have depression and I dont want to feel like this for the rest of my life.

mine my latest dream

I had a very vivid dream that I was in a partially wrecked building, weapons and gear were stored and we were suffering bombardment from small explosive rounds.
I geared up with a rocket launcher and went to the front; from a distance I could see dark figures firing at us they seemed middle eastern but the appearance seemed just that, an appearance. Their energy connected to a central source and the feeling I got was they were connected to the elite .
I shot off a few rounds with the launcher and then started launching some kind of bladed projectile which I envisioned impaling several of the offenders; I was running out of ammo and reached for the small nuclear warheads at which point the enemy dispersed. They were too close to fire on for it to have spared our lives.
My vision then shifted to a battle of two skys
the upper sky which I felt was the creator or god was sending massive energy pulses to the lower sky, I observed from between them and after around ten bursts I was asked if it had removed the cold from the earth, I answered yes, it had.

that one was a trip.
sis/ rip

Another dire warning in dream state
Last night as usual in my dream state I wandered into an area which was full of underlying religious context I was fighting the unseen dark influences and warding off demonic possession by repeating over and over the lords prayer, while surrounded by all the evils of the world, but very curiously I never got passed “thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven,” until about the fifth time of chanting, for those of you who are unfamiliar with this prayer it is as follows.
Our father which art in heaven Hallowed be thy name
Thy kingdom come thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven
Give us this day our daily bread forgive us our trespasses
As we forgive those who trespass against us
Lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil
For thine is the power and the glory forever and ever
Amen.
After then I awoke abruptly at “give us this day our daily bread forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us”
This to me meant that we are about to be forced into a time when this prophecy called the book of revelations is about to become a reality meaning Gods will is upon us, and God is at hand in the works of the people and in these the last days this prayer to me is all about humbly thanking God for every small blessing and asking for his help and guidance in every aspect of our lives great and small but keeping humble requests and having gratitude for anything more that he bestows on our lives and so this is the message I send out to you for now is the time of repentance.
BE WARNED, and be READY!
I may seem to you to be a bible thumping quack don’t say you were not forewarned in the end when you come face to face with your own judgments in the presence of your maker you have 2 and 1/2 years before you will see for yourself that sooner was most definitely better than later in this case all hell is about to break lose and later is just too late!
In that same dream I had a personal warning that a man and woman would enter my life asking for a personal favor and as I submitted to their request in the end I was betrayed and left in utter disarray in my life possibly facing legal hardship from them. //
Are we headed for drought and famine?
How many years has it been since we as a society believed the end was eminant? Since the great depression? since world war1, or worldwar2? and each time we are very pleasantly and ecstaticly relieved when the end is never in sight, and each time we feel foolish don’t we? What if all of that were to change, would we see it or know it? Maybe there is that one person who told us it was coming and we disregarded their words as the rantings of a mentally ill person You never truly know it is over until you are facing the ugliness of those final moments but we can all agree that we as a whole are working up to it each and every generation and we can feel our own mortality as we slip into unknown territory full of terrorism and nuclear bomb threaghts. What if the answer was as simple as finding our footing in the spiritual realm becoming more harmonious with the earth and with human beings around us in other words what if their were a guarantee that if we prayed or at least became spiritually aware we would be saved? would we do this very simple task, would others around us follow our lead? What if I told you all it takes to save the town you’re in is 20 people who were connected in mind and soul to the what society calls THE GODHEAD? I had a dream a few nights ago where I stood in a foreign country I felt it was europe and many different people were around with accents that to me seemed as though they were from multiple tongues and nations and they were mulling around and drinking and living just everyday lives full of materialism and wickedness in other words what has become the norm all around the world and in the midst of them I was trying to tell them of an impending event that was about to happen that they needed to prepare for. But to no avail I was completely ignored by all still I kept trying telling them there was going to be a great drought and a food shortage that would effect the whole world and would move from country to country like a great domino effect but it seemed as though even upon hearing numerous lives would be lost they continued in their faithful disobedience over and over I repeated myself and it seemed to me they were in great disbelief that this was at all possible and in the end of the dream I finally said God has told me to tell you their will be a great drought and famine and that if you do not want your countries to fall into starvation you should prepare for it then I awoke. When I woke up I was in shock for God was never in my dream, and not once have I spoken with him personally and yet still it felt as though I had the authority to say these exact words that they were ordained directly from God! A few days later I had yet another dream I was in a place after the bombs settled and saw the oceans and seas the land had radiation through out and the water was greatly poisoned by this radiation and the sharks and fish were changing over a period of time I saw multiple generations of grotesquely mutated life and was in great fear then I saw multiple babies being created in a scientific way in order to carry on the human lineage and a very dark in nature group moving to seek out and destroy these babies that were close to reaching full gestation, I had the distinct feeling we humans were becoming less and less able to procreate in the conventienal way. And lastnight I dreamt I was traveling accrossed the sea, in specific the medateranian sea having a very beautiful feeling great things were going to happen when I came accrossed a small family that seemed very important for some reason, they lived in a very small area in simple surroundings and their was a birthday taking place it was the 5th or 6th birthday of a boy I felt I needed to attend the birthday of, and they were happy to see me allowing my prescence with open arms, but when I wanted to bring others they weren’t very accomodating feeling towards the Idea when I awoke I felt as though that young boy was very important somehow to a significant event that will take place futuristically. At first I wasn’t sure the significance of the information I am about to disclose but I decided that it just may be pertinent, I was definately in an area that boating seemed a pass time and my brain hit on Ionian sea and the young boy was in a sea cavern with smoke coming from his ears as his parents did also, it was an area where Manta Rays were most prevalent, along with a moderate amount of dolphins near by very few deadly sharks in comparrison to the other aquatic life and an occassional whale perhaps this boy is not an actual boy but a smaller volcano alongside two larger ones, whic is why I saw smoke coming from the ears meaning it was about to come to an eruptive head, in which the boys age was five maybe perhaps pin pointing the time it is to going to erupt. There are alot of different meanings we can take from this dream. //
Do we really think we are safe?
What happens if America is right in the fact that President Obama is the fated Anti-Christ? What then? Is there anything we can truly do about it? At best this proves the struggle between good and evil does exists and there is a God, a messiah, and A Lucifer (devil), or Satan however you were raised to call him. Ok now imagine we can stop him from his achieving full power, just pretend somehow we could, or that we do and off sounds the trumpet? Christians save the day yeehaa yippy kiyay Do we think for an instant oh the struggle is over whew, we can finally breathe easy, boy that was close, I’m so glad we passed the test, ding dong the witch is dead! Or do we wait for the next Anti-Christ, and the next, and the next, how many times can we thwart his full power inevitably he will rise in the end no matter how hard we fight to keep him away right? So why not let him come and turn over in the end the rule of the earth to the second coming of our messiah, the lord of lords, and king of kings Are we that afraid of facing God Almighty? Understandably we are all afraid we are not in the book of life,for only the sainted, and virginal, and truly Godly are written in the book of life those, who are hand picked from the start by God himself to exist the last days before the second coming, only the handicapped, truly compassionate right? Well guess how many of us that describes, not me and if you are able to read and understand this not you probably, oh just because there are priests and bishops and preachers and popes in the world most likely non of them qualify, and our Jewish population I’m pretty certain absolutely none of them are in the book of life! After all the Jews needlessly slaughtered the saints and their own King to boot if anything the Jews should rue the day they ever meet wit their maker! Mayhap it’s better to allow this time to pass and hope that gods mercy be upon us or even do one better change our greedy, hateful, unforgiving ways, pray constantly for direction and guidance, repent, and seek counsel in the holy ghost, and give whole heartedly our penance to the lord our lamb, to present a case on our behalf to the almighty heavenly father this is the only way we can be of light heart, and easy mind and maybe find worthiness in Gods eyes, then let the Antichrist come as we Christians ban together to survive in the latter days in other words prepare for the worst and hope for the best. If God finds us worthy worst case scenario we are killed right away or perhaps we are not bothered at all because we have repented, remember that to repent is to ask forgiveness with a broken heart, and humble nature never to do what we are repenting of again! This may sound hard and maybe we are all waiting for definitive proof of Gods existence before we do this but seriously it will be too late the tribulation for you will be too great and you most likely need to take the side that gives you instantaneous relief from your misery.
We know who will rise victoriously why not allow it? And in the end all of the secrets and deceptions that were created will be revealed and all of our own perversions of the true church will be done away with I say let it come about, Let the saints finally taste revenge for all that man has spoiled, perverted, and destroyed, and let god fill his cup with the grapes of wrath. //
Governmental knockdown?
This last dream I’m very uncertain if it was tied into anything or not but warned of a big fight between two male entities that one of which was very large in stature and appeared to me like the archangel Michael who I felt was my fiercest and personal protector he seemed very close spiritually to me I’m not sure why but the warring was going on with a very dark and much smaller male figure and completely evil it was very disturbing as I saw a great blow to the head taken by Michael but only after he delivered one to his foe which was not very damaging, and Michael who was standing in front of me in position and mind to protect me, fell to the ground but I waited around to see whether he raised again and I remember thinking it was impossible for him to be dead so I stayed and kept waiting for his rising thinking it would be any second then I awoke was it real if so what does it mean? Is it a possibility God will allow Satan and his dominion such power over even his own archangels to be defeated for a short time and leave his children completely at the mercy of the devil? In the dream I remember feeling vulnerable to the will of the dark force before me but also strangely feeling as though I wasn’t going to be gone after as I stayed vigilant in my loyalty to my protector bidding his rising fervently and in complete disbelief that he was dead.
Upon further reflection of this dream I came to the possible conclusion that the male entities were symbolic of the government we could all depend on protecting us and the smaller figure was a darker change in our government infrastructure knocking down our protective defenses and leaving our government vulnerable to darker government influences which intended the country harm. And that if we stay loyal and vigil we can avoid the harmful effects and changes about to be a possible driving force in our country.

https://web.archive.org/web/20100823131345/http://theruthlesstruth.com/wordpress/
the rest under pages starting at the rambling poet most are my late sisters

I have been seeing a guy for a few weeks now. We went on 5 dates and he seemed to be long term material (similar values etc.,). He opened up to me and mentioned a few things that seemed to indicate he was on the introverted side (cannot mingle with new people easily, takes time to warm up in new settings, prefers to spend weekends curled up with books more than socializing etc.,). I was concerned because I am a fairly socially active person and would like my partner to be able to take part in these as well.
I decided to invite him to a birthday party (~25 people) hosted at a close friend’s place to see what we are like in social situations with each other. He came off detached and not as enthusiastic as I would have liked him to be. We asked him a few times if he was uncomfortable at the party and he said he was fine there and that as he had mentioned before he takes time to warm up to new people and also he was tired that day. We also pointed him to employees from his company who were at the party so that he could have something common to talk about.
Overall, what he was telling us was not adding up to the behavior we were seeing so we thought he was hesitant to mention he was uncomfortable being there. Also his being that way was making my friends feel like they were doing something wrong and we were not very happy. I talked to my friends and suggested he should leave the party. He pushed back and insisted he was fine being there and that he liked to listen and observe in large settings as he had told me before. And he continued to stay. We gave up trying.
Next day a huge argument broke out between us. He said the realization that I took him to the party to see what he is like in social situations felt like a covert test to him because there was an “underlying motive” to why I took him there and there was no conversation about it my concerns beforehand. And that he felt his openness about his introversion was used to put him in a situation to “assess” him like that without talking about it with him. I mean, all I was trying to do was understand our social compatibility and I didn’t mean it to be some test. I don’t understand why taking someone to a party is such a big deal. He also says he felt humiliated being asked to leave like that since he was not being harmful to anyone there. I really don’t understand that either - all we were trying to do was spare him some discomfort.
Apparently he shared his version of what happened with some mutual friends and now they are grilling me. Am I am the asshole here? All we thought we were trying to do was make him feel comfortable there and I don’t like how he is spreading negativity in my friend group. What do you all think? Am I the asshole here?

Long story so please bear with me
I was with my first love for 3 and a bit years, we met in late 2010 before we broke up 10 years ago in early 2014. We were young and in our early 20s back then, things just fizzled out.
I've always thought about her but eventually we went our separate ways, she got in to a relationship with another guy after me for a few years but eventually he ended up cheating on her, this was around 2017.
After her breakup in 2017 I confessed my feelings for her but we didn't go anywhere with it as she was still healing so I told her I need to cut her off at the point because I told her I was struggling to be just friends with her, to which she said that she was heartbroken that's it come to us parting ways. But we wished each other well and went our separate ways. I was really at my lowest at that point but have come a really long way since in terms of having a successful career and have improved a lot financially and mentally.
At the start of 2019, she did add me on social media but she didn't say anything to me so a few days later I ended up deleting her because I realised I still wasn't over her, I regretted deleting her afterwards.
At the end of 2019 I heard that she was engaged, she ended up getting married but then I heard she got divorced around over 2 years ago. A few monthds ago I found out that the reason for her divorce was because her husband cheated on her and was abusive towards her. They got divorced around early 2022. Her ex husband is already engaged and due to get married again this summer.
As for me I did get in to another relationship with someone else but I was also cheated on so I have been single for a few years now, I have been evolving in my career and proud of how far I've come and have recently started a new chapter in my career. I considered getting in touch with her last year but I noticed that she had cut off a lot of people from her social media so I wasnt too sure how she'd react to me adding her, I thought she'd reject me seen as she's cutting off a lot of people.
So around 3 months ago I took the plunge seen as I had nothing to lose and sent her a request on instagram, and she had accepted and also followed me back. She's been viewing my stories and a month ago I posted a life quote on my story which she liked, I haven't spoke to her yet. I posted a few pictures of myself which she hasn't liked but A few weeks ago I posted a quote on my story that said 'be the reason for someone's pain to turn into a smile', she liked that quote and also another one that I posted last week. It was my birthday a few days ago and she liked a birthday story that I posted on instagram.
I'm assuming she is single but not entirely sure. I added her 3 months ago but now she has deleted me, I was confused because she only liked one of my stories few days prior. At the time of her deletion, i was on holiday performing umrah. I would have liked to see if there was future for us but don't think she's interested now, i have messaged her after she deleted me saying 'Hi, hope your well. I probably should have said something a long time ago but I didn't, my fault. I've been praying for you, today I realise I've been deleted anyways I hope your keeping happy and healthy'. She replied saying 'Hey I'm good thanks hope you are too, that is kind of you, I didn't expect this kind of message'.
I didn't really know what to say back to her, I still don't understand why she deleted me even though days before she was showing an interest in my stories before and now she's deleted me. I just replied saying 'that's good. Sorry for catching you off guard with it, I wanted to reach out to you earlier. I'm glad your doing well though' and then she has replied back saying 'can I ask why?' I replied back saying 'It's been on my mind for a while to get back in touch with you, I didn't add you for no reason. But we don't need to if it's not something your comfortable with'. She then sent a long message as follows: 'You don’t make me feel uncomfortable. I have thought about you over the years and wished you well. I am really happy that you have also been called to do umrah and i hope it changes your life the same way it did mine. I removed you because you have my ex and his family on your instagram and I removed everyone who has any contact with them. You will have heard that I was married there for a short period of time but it was hell and now I’m out of it I don’t want them knowing anything about my life, so I removed everyone who has any link with them. I didn’t realise till that day that you did. It was nothing to do with you personally.' .
Im not actually friends with her ex husband as he is just someone that lives nearby to me and we have never spoken so I replied with this: 'I'm sorry that you had to go through that, I hope your okay and I pray god brings you ease. I wouldn't exactly say I have anything to do with them personally though, only thing I know about them is that they're from my area too. It makes sense now and it's understandable why you did that.'
She replied back again saying 'I'm great, God is the best of planners and it was the best thing for me. Even so, I removed everyone who had us both so sorry about that' and to which I replied 'That's fair enough, I'm glad to hear your doing well though and that your at peace now. That's what matters most'. She then asked 'how have you been, what's new with you?' I replied saying 'I'm not too bad thanks, life's changed a lot since we last spoke so there's quite a lot that's new lol'. after that we were speaking generally about the holiday that I'm currently on and what to do as she has been here before too and she also asked how long I'm there for and she asked who ive gone with and how long im on holiday for, it was in general a short and civilised conversation and the conversation happened whilst i was still deleted.
Towards the end of the conversation she said 'well i hope you have a lovely time 😊' and i replied with thank you and asked her when she was on holiday here, she replied saying that she went last November and the year before so then i replied saying 'oh nice, its good to go often. Need to make it a yearly thing' She ended the conversation 12 nights ago by liking that last message i sent, I don't know if she plans to message me again, What are the chances that she'll message me even if we don't follow each other on instagram anymore.
I am slightly anxious that she won't message me after this due to her deleting me because her ex is on my Instagram. Was thinking of just giving her space for a few more days, then deleting her ex and requesting her back in around in a few days bear in mind she deleted me 2 weeks ago and we havent spoken in 12 days. In the meantime i have been removing a lot of meaningless connections from my instagram and i will be removing her ex and his family too, i have also noticed that her number of following has also decreased as she has also been cutting down on the number of connections she has. I blame myself for this situation because I had the opportunity to delete her ex and his family a few months ago as I don't even speak to them, had I done that then she wouldn't have deleted me. Its been 2 weeks, should i take action or give her space?

Okay, so let me give you everything I know about the situation.
I turned 26 last year, on the 17th of July. Meaning I would lose coverage under my parent's insurance afterwards.
Well, we live in Indiana, as is my dentist's office. I was covered under Anthem Blue Cross/Blue Shield, and Delta for dental. According to the girl at the front desk, it should have been covered through the end of the month, and NOT the exact day I turned 26. I hadn't been in many years, so I had to get some extra work done. After my birthday, we went 3 days in a very short time frame to get it all ironed out before I lost insurance.
All was well and good. I paid the deductible, and I heard nothing of it. Also, all the other medical junk around this time ironed out just fine, we got money reimbursed, etc.
Well, fast forward to now, 10 months later, the dentist texted my mom basically saying "Yeah, we tried to get your insurance to pay this, and appealed, etc, and they never did. Your balance is $900." And it IS coming from their number. Its suspicious, but it's the same number that reminds us about appoinments, etc.
We have yet to actually get a bill, and this is the first time we're hearing about there being an issue, almost a year later. What are my options? To me, this seems almost criminal.

My mother is the definition of a stubborn Taurus & it doesn't help that she has a mean ass moon in Aries...
I did a reading and found her love life to be non existent.
She often sends men running to the cornfield (I see where I get it from), so I requested a man that will allow her to be "soft", will be loyal, handsome, won't raise a hand to harm her, make a laugh, and will overall accept her life & kids.
My mother was giddy like a schoolgirl, but also trying to play it cool and it was pretty nice to see.
He has been taking her on dates, calling and texting her, given her trinkets, and even invited her as his partner to a Ball event in the French Quarters.
He bluntly told her, he is asking God already to keep her in his life.
My mom's only "complaint" is that he is shorter than her by an inch or two.
And my response was "Short king. His height will soon appeal to your dominate nature.
I have a good feeling about them.
Now, as per tradition, whenever I hear about my spells being successful, I'm going to grab my Slytherin robe and pose infront of the mirror like Harry Potter.
Blessings to you all.

i'm really upset right now my f15 birthday is on tuesday and i organised a birthday dinner with my friend group of 15 people. 10 out of 15 cancelled . i'm really upset because whenever its one of their birthdays i always go all out and put in so much effort so they can be happy on their special day and it hurts to see they won't do the same for me. even though 3 didnt cancel on me i decided to just cancel the whole thing because those who did cancel just completely crushed me and any excitement i had towards my birthday. especially because its my 16th birthday and i've always imagined having a big party with my friends, does anyone have any ideas on what i can do because honestly im really sad right now and doubting our friendship

Im pretty sure no one will see this but Im 16 almost 17 ftm and I’ve wanted to start transitioning medically since age 14 but was scared to tell my parents who are both transphobic and homophobic, plus my mom is one of those Christians who lash out at trans and gay people. So I knew there was no way I could come out to them so for 4 years I’ve just been rotting in my room waiting until I’m 18 so I can transition. Finally on my 15th birthday I cut ALL of my hair off at school and came out to my parents, my dad just ignored it of course but my mom did NOT take it well she ignored it too and didn’t speak to me about it for like 2 weeks until she said that’s she’s getting me a therapist.
I went to the therapist for like 6 months and it fucking sucked ass, it was so humiliating talking to someone who clearly didn’t understand my situation and all she did was ask how my day was and then tell me time is over like bruh. So on my 16th birthday I got so tired of it and after the therapist appointment when I got in the car I didn’t want to talk to my mom and juts put my AirPods in and ignored her and man she got MAD.
She yelled at me saying “Are you fucking kidding me, what? What’s wrong? OHHH you’re mad because I won’t let you take the medication that you want to take? IM SO SURE! You act like your the most miserable kid in the world always whining about how you life isn’t perfect.” “I will NEVER let you take that medicine crap NEVER, once you get your own money and grow up you can do whatever the hell you want.” God mad you a girl! “I’m Sooo sorry he didn’t make you how you wanted to be”😒 This is not normal it’s unnatural! Your not normal! No matter what medicine you take or what surgeries you have you will never be a boy, you will always be my girl!
Hearing that from my mom who I love so much really destroyed me. She ended up crying and yelling so much that she couldn’t drive so she pulled over and juts got out the car and went outside the car to smoke. I was juts sitting there in shock with tears rolling out of my eyes but a frown on my face. All I couldn’t think about was how the rest of my family would react they are almost all religious and I know they will never love me the same. My mom came back in the car and for the whole hour home she juts kept bitching to me the whole time asking “why are you still crying” like are you fucking serious. I wanted to jump out the car on the highway face first
This happened about 7 months ago and I’m going to turn 17 this year. Junior year is coming up and when I tell you I CANNOT get through another 2 years of getting dead named and misgendered. I’m literally on the verge of constantly wanting to end everything and juts be done because i have no friends. and it feels like everyone hates me. Summer is here and it’s so hot but if I don’t have my binder on I will not leave the house I hate my chest so much I wish I could just rip it off and my voice is the worst. I never talk to anyone and I get In Trouble at school for not doing presentations and for missing so much school due to dysphoria. Also I’m pretty sure my ribs are also fucked up because I’m always in pain when I wear my binder and when I look in the mirror my ribs look wrong but I don’t even care anymore.
School is so fucking stupid we do NOTHING. I’m not even joking when I say I finished the whole breaking bad series at school plus some other movies like Deadpool because we do nothing it’s juts like I’m wasting my life away and it’s so frustrating all I do is go to school to watch movies and get called slurs all day.
I’m not sure why I’m posting this or what kind of advice I’m looking for and it’s okay if your don’t have any. I think I juts really needed to get this off my shoulders thanks for anyone who read this . 💙

My brother and his wife have 3 children 8, 5 and 3.
I am his younger sister, childless myself and recently left uni because of my severe depression, living at my parents house until I find a different career path. (But I also provide care for grandma and mother.)
The older two children get ready for the day alone, which the parents are very proud of. Basically they just get dressed in unmatched clothes. They are not washed, dressed for the weather or have brushed hair. (If they do, they forget the back.)
I actually forgot how it became the topic at my father's birthday dinner. But they said their oldest doesn't like to brush his hair. I said then they should do it, because it needs to be done. His decision if he does it or his parents. She told me she didn't want to brush his hair, when she wants to get out of the house to work. (Mind you, she wears make up daily and my brother drives the children.) I stated how wrong I think this is and one should care for their kids after getting them.
She exploded. Told me she will not discuss this with a childless person without a degree. I told her quietly to watch what she sais. "No,you watch what you say."was the answer. Proceeds to tell me she always hated me and I am not to come to her youngest birthday party tomorrow. I said: "Didn't you observe I have not visited you in over a year now?" Then got told she wouldn't visit me either. I said: "I wouldn't invite you. I don't even know why you come here." It's not my decision,because this (parents place) is not my house.
I told her I am proud of her for finally showing her true colours, not communicating by putting my brother between us.
Today on the little one's birthday the oldest let slip "We are not allowed to visit grandparents anymore because of aunt xyz."
This is not the first time they are keeping the kids away from my parents. They regularly extorted my parents and her's. (Until they were desperate for a baby sitter.)
My brother sits through all this and comments "It's statistically proven that childless people comment more on other's parenting."
This was the second time I ever commented on a parenting issue of theirs. My field of study involved child sociology and developmental psychology. And I stand by keeping basic hygiene on a regular basis. We were not talking about arriving once with unkempt hair...
I feel so sad for my mom, who has been through this already and keeps her mouth shut for the sake of seeing her grand children...
So, am I the asshole for not having kept my mouth shut?

AITA Cutting off my Brother after he blows Grandmother's Life Insurance Money on Camgirl.
Hi, so kind of a sticky fun situation to work through and I'm trying to figure out the best way to navigate things for my own mental health and for my brother to understand exactly what he has done.
For the past handful of years, my brother, 32M, has lived at home with my mom. This was before and after my step-dad, his dad, passed away very suddenly. I'm not sure exactly when it started before then or after, but he got basically addicted to a Camgirl from Columbia on one of those sites. He was already not doing well financially and genuinely couldn't have moved out if he wanted to but then whatever money he did have was being funneled directly to her via either site or direct payments. They talk in the phone, FaceTime, the whole 9 yards. He's never really been good with women but is still anti-social either, he's got an amazing group of friends. I can't imagine they know the full extent of everything going on. I'd imagine it's just immediate family.
This addiction, we fully accept that is what it is, has taken over to such a level that he can't afford a car, pay bills, racked up debt and he doesn't have the health insurance he DESPERATELY needs with pre-exisiting conditions and weight management. My mother has been trying intervention, sought after family counseling for her and him with someone specialized in this type of addiction but none of it has slowed things down. The alternative is basically throwing him out on the street, which no one wants either because we worry and have consistently worried about his mental health.
Recently, my grandmother passed away and disbursements started. I'm not personally recieving anything (step-kid and so not legitimately considered part of the family I grew up entirely in apparently) but my brothers will be. Not here to let money divide my family, it's not my call so whatever.
The problem arose because, due to the nature of a lot of his issues, his banking is monitored by me. So when it was brought up that hey, they got a life insurance pay out, I talked to a few people I knew about getting him a car for a good price and was going to pitch him this and setting up better ways for him to managed and eventually a place of his own. It's not a giant chunk of money but enough to really let him Kickstart his life. When I went to pull things to show him, it was gone. In 6 weeks about 20k was gone. Nearly 10k of it was to this camgirl. 6 weeks. I was beyond crushed and actually...really insulted. I really am trying to make sure this inherentence isn't a sticking point of being cut out of but finding out that basically SHE got more of my grandmother's legacy than I did? That was hard to swallow.
I had a long talk with him, showed him all the paperwork that I detailed and laid out and very plainly told him that I'm hurt for multiple reasons. That he's disregarded everyone around him, expects everyone else to pick up his fallen pieces; financially or otherwise, and destroyed whatever trust and faith I had that he could manage his own life. Therapy hasn't helped, poverty hasn't helped, pleading hasn't helped so I was very blunt that if this continues then I was done. We wouldn't have a relationship anymore, not that I wouldn't be around for family events or expect him to be around but 1 on 1 or time with my own household was over. It breaks my heart because he adores my kids and they do too. I just can't do it though, my wife fully agrees with me. We can't trust him.
He was so performative during this conversation, thanking me and acting dumbfounded that he could've spent every penny. That this was JUST the wake up call he needed.
I didn't buy it though and for good reason, addicts lie. It was literally the same day when more money was sent to her. Over and over.
Now we come to my AITA question. We have some very big family moments coming up. Weddings, funerals, milestone birthdays. My mom seems to want me to just put everything aside and make good. I reassured her that this isn't some grandstanding announcement, that I won't stand with him in pictures or make a scene but I won't be dealing with or seeing him during the other times. I have some things I'm planning for myself that I've invited others on and I'm being told to just go with my brother. This isn't a family function, it's something I want to do for me and don't feel like tainting it by shoving my current animosity down and playing nice.
I am worried and have always been worried that he stands on a razor's edge and don't want to...lose him, if you know what I mean. Lately though, he seems so dillusional that I genuinely don't think he understands what is even wrong. I think he's gotten really good at putting on a mask of shame or apology but then trots happily back to sabotaging his life with the full knowledge that if something really goes wrong, someone else will bail him out.
I'm just lost on what to do and resentful that I feel like I'm doing all the emotional hand wringing while he just blows past any boundary or line in the sand without a care for consequence. There's another much larger payout coming due here toward the end of the year and I fully expect it to just inadvertently destroy his life and there's nothing to be done about it when he just gives it all up for some fantasy that isn't real.
AITA for cutting him out and enforcing my repercussion?

This is going to be a long one, however I’ll try to sum it up as much as possible.
Not married, we have been together almost 6 years, we both have two children, one together. The other two are from prior relationships. My daughter is almost 18 and his is 11, ours is 2.
Things as of late well last 5 months have not been good, me and him hardly even speak to each other. This started in the beginning of the year when his behaviors have suddenly changed and I suspected infidelity. He was finding any excuse to leave the house every night, quick gas station runs turned into 30-45 mins. I told him how I felt and my gut was telling me something isn’t right. Of course he denied everything & called me crazy blah blah….
I couldn’t just forget the feeling i had and i knew i wasn’t wrong …. Some time later i find a receipt for flowers in the car that we share. Flowers that i never received. So I call him on it and of course he’s denying it, trying to gaslight me into thinking he wasn’t even in that area and any other excuse he could find. Clearly…. He’s lying!
I suggested we separate, months ago! However, we are still living together and things are tense & uncomfortable. The house is divided. We don’t speak to each other, his kid don’t speak to me or my kid… my kid don’t speak to him or his kid……. It’s like, what are we even doing! This is so unhealthy & I really just want to split.
I was a single mom for the majority of my daughter’s life. Me and her have a very close bond, we are best friends & she’s an amazing kid! 4.5 gpa beyond talented. Makes good decisions hangs around great friends. Aside from typical teenage things, she’s very easy!
He’s always had some sort of jealousy when it comes to our relationship and as much as he tries to deny it, it shows in his actions! Any argument we ever had (and that’s a lot) without a doubt he drags my daughter into it!
My daughter now has a boyfriend. Both responsible and very respectful kids! I trust my daughter she tells me absolutely everything! Like everything to the point i have to tell her to keep some stuff to herself! Lol. Well when her boyfriend comes over, my boyfriend has a huge issue & slams doors & makes everyone so much more uncomfortable!!l
I hold a lot of resentment because of his jealousy of my relationship with my daughter, and also ANY friend i have. He doesn’t like any of my friends they never did anything to him. He swears they disrespect him but he’s delusional! My friends wouldn’t disrespect him & i surely wouldn’t even allow that to happen. Also because of the cheating & can’t even be man enough to be honest after i found clear proof!
Also, the fact that I run this household!!! I work full time, i do all the drop off and pick ups! I do all the shopping, household chores! I told him he does the bare minimum and now he’s punishing me by doing absolutely nothing. Doesn’t clean up after his own baby! I take the trash out, i do all of the laundry ( i stopped doing his) I’m constantly cleaning the house and putting things away. I carry the load, i also pay majority of the bills & he thinks he contributes more than though. He gives me $250-$300 a week. Daycare is $1,000 / mo .. house is $1950/mo … groceries … necessities…. He pays car payment & electric. How does he see he contributes enough?
I hate living in this environment. I am a bubbly happy person, when he is around i am an anxious & on edge! He won’t leave, he knows the state laws & at this point I’m considering leaving, i just don’t think it’s fair i have to uproot my kids!!!
He’s not trying to make our relationship any stronger or better he’s just here!!!

You ma'am were my everything, from the moment I first saw you walking to my tow truck. I was in aww of you in that moment I was so hooked I can't explain it in any other way. I just needed to get to know the real you. Looking back I wish I could have slowed everything down a lot because we moved so fast. Opened the door for you and got you up into the truck. At first she was impressed I even would do that for her. She said it made her feel special and no one had ever done that for her. As I walked back to my door to get in time for me started to slow as I thought about a million things at once I was so drawn to her wanted everything for her and me to be amazing and guys, it really was great from my seat. She's absolutely gorgeous, sweet yet she's a pretty bad ass chick though. She's into heavy metal and rock over anything. She's my only ginger I've ever dated in my life. She's so beautiful, selfless when she knows u need something she is the first one to get it for you and she's an amazing cook, So incredibly sexy, and no matter what she broken and all was the only woman that I ever bought a real ring for wherever would and that red hair gets me now every time I find one around in my truck or my house. She loves to play with it as her nervous habit I used to say she was marking her territory jokingly but I loved watching her do it I love watching her play with it It was awesome to just be able to look over at her and see her sitting there was the greatest feeling in my life next to having my children and watching them be born. Seeing her smile was the most amazing thing I'd ever seen in my life That's what I lived for I lived for being silly with her and joking around and just having a good fucking time and spending that time with her no matter how much it was. I loved it always. Even when we fought I didn't ever stop loving her I did never stop caring about her obviously I was in it for us. Call me a wuss whatever you want I don't care I honestly have a thing with other people's hair it grosses me out when it is off the body so I'd have these piles of hair is have to immediately get out of the floor of my work truck when id open it for her to get her out of the truck lol it grossed me out but I didn't really care it was more funny that she was nervous cus we were so chill together. I quickly fell for this girl front the start and she was exactly what I said in the title. She's always going to be my blue little sundress passenger seat princess, the only women I've ever actually seen, planned, or dreamed of a future with and I've had longer relationship with kids even. But she has two sweet little girls that are amazing as well and I have become attatched to them as well throughout this 3 years. Especially because when her and I first met and went on our date I knew already that she was a mom of two but I hadn't met either one of them yet. Days after she was still with me and we spent every waking moment together in that truck. And we had a great time It just felt right. After that weekend was over we went to pick up her 3-month-old daughter. We had to go to the next town over and get her from her dad's house. As I got this little girl up into my truck put her car seat in the back of the tow truck I did what any normal person would do when meeting a baby for the first time. Started talking to her just to see her reaction to me. She was so sweet and so damn cute. She smiled so beautifully and was just so amazing it brought back all the memories for me having my kids. And that one really just cemented in the fact that I wanted to do this so much for my girl and I and for these kids cuz they were amazing. I spent my days just working away. Most the time with her by my side. There was times where yes we were not together 100% there's things she had to go do. Which was fine That's what we needed some time apart to miss each other cuz we did spend a lot of time together but honestly As long as we were there in my truck we were amazing together just hanging out while I was working spending time together and she said she loved watching me work. She loved how manly I smelled after and during a days work. Everything was great. So before her and I met I was always working and keeping to myself just trying to focus on myself but I lived in a hotel. So since her and I got hooked up together, we lived in my hotel which was not bad at all it was a fairly big hotel that offered reduced rates for long extended stays and they offered me a corporate discount. So it was fairly inexpensive as far as paying for the place but it was still extremely expensive compared to renting someplace. But it was by my own money because she had no income no job that I paid for everything. Literally everything. So as I worked 7 days a week and worked from time outta bed in the morning until well after midnight. I had no time to find our own place for cheaper living to start new direction for us. So she started searching for our own place to rent. Let's say we got distracted from that because of this damn drama that seemed to always be happening with her life. I'd always listen to what was going on with her and try to help. It's what I do in my everyday life I jump out of a truck when people are at their worst and it makes me feel a sense of joy because I get to get out of the damn truck like Superman get over to them and calm their life down a little bit slow it down for them when they're in their worst moments of the day and just take that weight off their shoulders. I get that fulfillment for my life that joy and it drives me to keep going That's the only reason I push through my days. I lived for it, soon after meeting her she became a big part of that meaning for me so much so I never even realized that it would end up costing me my career because I just couldn't do it anymore getting in that truck And as I open the door I see her there in the passenger seat with a flooded memory that comes rushing in and I get happy really quick like it's all real again and as soon as I sit down take my guys off that seat I look back over when it close the door cuz I'd always smile back at her when I got in the truck and she's not there and it breaks my heart every single time I experienced this so imagine getting in and out of that truck every day all day long and having to do that. I've been such an emotional wreck now that I literally had to go to my boss and quit my job because I couldn't safely do it and this was the job ladies and gentlemen that I prayed for at the end of our relationship I wasn't working hadn't been working for a few months because I just found out that I got cancer in my throat. So I got depressed I didn't know how to tell her my mom anybody being only 37 years old that I'm not going to be here that long Not as long as I thought so it started to destroy me and by this time in our relationship two and a half years in we had had several moves several little breakups but we'd always come back together and we always seemed great afterwards but then it always seemed like something would come up or she would lie or do something that I didn't like or that I wasn't approving of and every time I tried to talk to her about it she would just blow up at me and yeah there was lots of red flags I missed her out of a relationship I wish I could have done so many things different but stress and being what it is and everything you know I let my emotions get the best of me I let my my everything get the best of me every single time because as soon as she starts yelling it makes me louder and I just don't see anybody giving me that kind of a disrespectful stance especially when I'm trying to be calm I'm trying to just talk to them about it and then they blow up and makes me want to blow up right back So yeah my mistake but are honestly feel like it was just to cause me to do that so she could break up or we can break up and she can run away for a couple days and go get what she needed somewhere else and then come right back. That's what I feel like now. Don't know if it was all lie from delusional or what but everything I've read on here it all speaks to me so much that I honestly I really feel like I was lied to the entire time I was made to believe something that was never true This girl told me she loved me like 3 months in and I honestly felt it before that but I really think it was all just a facade now for her We found each other and we were broken pieces everywhere we started putting our lives together picking everything up putting ourselves back together and we felt more complete than anything is the way I saw our lives up until a year and a half into it though it was for me even with the little small breakups and stuff it was amazing It wouldn't trade it for the world soon as I found out I had cancer though guys It broke me I wasn't working I wasn't doing anything for myself and yeah that I regret I regret not just telling her right away because looking back now it may have helped but I doubt she would even cared She probably would have broke up with me then is how I feel now. But I never told her until almost 3 weeks after we broke up. The 17th of this month was my birthday my 38th birthday The day after is her 3-year-olds 3-year birthday. Which I didn't get to go to even though that little girl calls me dada loves me like there's no tomorrow and I love that little girl so so much she was like she was my daughter shortly after I found out I had cancer I was taking care of that little girl not working but taking care of her all day everyday for months in my house with her living here and my girlfriend living here while she worked. Then she's sitting here telling me griping at me that I need to get back working by about she can't be the only one working but then if I did that we wouldn't had a babysitter We would have nowhere for "Our daughter" She always insisted when I would say her daughter because she has a lot of hateful feelings towards her baby daddy. The other thing I forgot to mention is the fact that about 2 years into our relationship she went through a pretty major surgery for herself No one was there for her except for me I sat with her through the whole thing waited for her at the hospital I waited on her hand and foot at my place of living She laid in my bed took care of her gave her everything she needed and would do it again in a heartbeat The point is that I was there stood by her side took care of her in every way I needed to every way I could. In the first part of our relationship all the way through I'd say the first half She was always constantly wondering if I had eaten today or if I needed food or if I wanted her to cook me anything or I mean would she selflessly would do every single time she was happy to do it She loved doing it She loved being at the hotel and me coming home to a cooked meal how she would do it in her bra and underwear because just for shits and giggles you know She was the most sexually appetizing person I've been in with in my entire life number one and from day one of our relationship I never saw any other female on this planet My eyes never strayed not once they only saw her She was my everything. Fellas tell me when you fell in love If you ever felt the same because I know for me there was another woman on this planet that could ever even have compared to my woman she was so sexy so incredibly just mesmerizing for me and having her in my arms I felt complete I felt like a man I felt like I would move to heaven and earth for this woman and I was trying doing everything I could and it always just seemed like our little stupid spats and our bickering was so much more to her than it was to me because she would always end up leaving and going to her sisters. Her sister was and is so incredibly damaging for her mental state that I'm surprised that this woman has not killed herself yet She has no movement in her own life she's a stay-at-home girlfriend for her boyfriend of 16 15 16 years something like that and she is about a cow about 300 lb heifer that has always been jealous of anything the little sister gets that makes her happy that makes her have a better life than what big sister has then big sister has to sit there and destroy little sisters mental state just to bring her back down so she can feel good about her own self So anytime she ever went back there that's exactly what happened Big sister would just tear her down and break her down and it's just sick and that's where I think first mistake for us ever went was allowing her to move in there because as soon as she did seem like everything started going downhill and that's when I started finding things out about how much she was actually lying to me about stupid silly little things because her brother in-law and sister would talk to her about our relationship at night when they're all home together or whenever and they'd be giving her advice when these two are alcoholics they will not ever get married even though they've been together forever but this is just to not lose social security crap it's ridiculous there's a real fear of commitment between the two and a lot of damage between the two and it just fed right into my woman's head and I'm really truly believe it loud it her to be severely poisoned cuz she started turning into a completely different person but yet I still loved her like the day I first met her I still looked at her exactly the same I still do to this day even though she won't have anything to do with me for whatever reason I don't know I never got a reason but after everything we've been through I honestly felt like every time she made me promise never to leave her every time she made me the promise that she would never leave me no matter what blah blah blah I feel like it was all just a game to her now and a game to her family because my woman was the child that was traded off when things got too stressful for Mom she was the kid that was sent to the hospital to you know being the mental ward because it was just too tough for Mom to cope with having two kids and being as destroyed of a person as she is So of course that's led to a lot of emotional damages for my woman and for that entire family It's led to alcoholism and the other side of the family with her sister and her mom being best friends they hang out all day long and it's about the worst family situation you could think of but sadly she will still choose her family over anybody at the end of the day even though they don't choose her like that It breaks my heart to watch honestly the best thing she could do is cut them off from her life but there is a lot of times that she needed them there because she had no other option is what she felt instead of when we fought going there honestly alsoever wanted her to do is just calm down and instead of leaving stay here choose me over that bullshit fight choose me over the fucking nonsense of everything because at the end of the day none of it mattered to me I always forgave her for everything not because I wanted to be the doormat or because I allowed myself to be the doormat but because when I grew up I grew up in a Christian family That's what we do if we fight we work shit through I may not be the best Christian in the world but I know the values that I have in my family were not the same as hers they traded her off when times got tough they never showed her unconditional love so she doesn't even know how to unconditionally love her own children and it's really sad cuz honestly to this day I feel like that little girl would choose me over her own mother and that breaks my heart for her. I realize I've been rambling on for a while now but this one really doesn't sit right with me guys I've never had any issues with any breakup since this one and I know the mental state she was in when she made it and made this choice but the way she did it just recently after having promised her yet again and her promising me that we would never leave each other and to always fight for the relationship. She comes over about a 3 weeks ago we have sex been seen each other in a few days few days prior to that we went and took "our daughter" to her dentist appointment she had to be knocked out at and did great through who'd she want afterwards after she woke up me Not her mom just me to comfort her. So being the dad that I am of course I did that I gave her the comfort she needed we had a great day together but it was short-lived. My girl's been in such a bad spot mentally but she refused to talk to me about it I could never get her to open up and yes I did a lot of things wrong because I was always trying to fix her or trying to help her through it is how I see it She saw it as me trying to fix her and she said I don't need to be fixed. But I know I didn't see it that way and that may have been my mistake because she wasn't looking for advice or whatever on how to try to help her through it but she just wanted somebody to listen to her which I did I can repeat everything she's ever told me about an issue word for word I can almost predict in my head I can sit there and say okay what's she going to say. And then I can literally as she's saying it out loud I can pretty well determine already know what she's going to say while listening though just to make sure I don't miss anything It ends up being the same thing every time and it's always all about her family's issues and things going on between them. It's been this way for the last year and a half probably since she moved in there now just before this breakup she had been for a couple months looking for place for us to go cuz I want out of where I'm at now and she obviously wanted out of there and so she was supposedly looking for it for a place to go That was ours because I got a new job I sat here and prayed for a new job that I had applied for and they just weren't moving fast enough or something I guess because like 4 days before she broke up with me they called and I started working I was so happy I got back in that truck I was doing it for her for us for me for those girls everything was going the way I had invisioned it going. Then like I said two days go by she came over spend some time together We had a little quickie and then we went to her appointment with the psych doctor couple days later she breaks up with me This is how I wake up the next morning after being at work all night long in my tow truck to a text message and I'm blocked on everything every single social media outlet every everything that we had together online I'm just blocked. Knowing the mental state she was in I was like what the hell is going on now I got a short text message that said something like I can't do this anymore This is after going through her girl parts being taken out being with her the entire time waiting on her hand and foot this is after saving her daughter because her drunk ass sister drove home from their mothers house while watching the like 5-month-old baby at the time and ran the car into the fucking house in the middle of the night and we were both working shoot while she was watching her That's why she was watching her So of course I get a phone call she can't leave work and she's freaking out because her daughter was just in the car that just slammed into the house and did thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars worth of damage So what happens This guy goes and rescues the child and keeps the child with him the entire rest of my work night until mom gets off work there's lots of reasons that this woman has loved me completely and tried so hard and there's lots of reasons why I've loved her as completely as I could and tried so hard and tried getting back on track now I used her in those kids and myself to get me back to a point where I could even start to function again after finding out I had cancer and not knowing how to tell her or anybody and what hurts the most is the fact that she just gave up and just blindsided me with all of this if I feel like and it kills me but this is what I had to do because of her putting all her walls up and just stonewalling me with everything and knowing the fact that even on her Facebook she chose to not put family photos of us for up there but to put every other photo of that entire time together on there even ones that she had taken separately with just her and her girls making it look like nobody else was there the entire time She just failed to include the you know few pictures she took all of us. Which are now deleted off her phone obviously cuz she deleted everything of us together She always does that She always does it just deletes them because she never had any good memories as a child so she has an inability to just keep that stuff because it's painful to her now for some reason even if it was a happy memory She doesn't like those happy memories cuz those are painful that they're not going to happen anymore so she just erases everything and gets rid of it because it's easier for her while I'm not that type of person I'm a sentimental person I keep everything So of course when she goes gets her mind off track whatever I start to be sweet and send her you know our pictures together and things because I know she's already done deleted them which gets her nine times out of 10 and gets her right back to where she needs to be and realizing that I'm there for her that I I want her I choose her and I choose to do this together well not this time She completely stonewalled me wouldn't even respond to me for days and it was literally out of the blue So I'm freaking out because I'm thinking she's going to go hurt herself which she's tried to do a few times and she just reapped on all her medication the last time she tried to hurt herself that's what had happened She took all of her medication and thank God nothing happened but now she had you know six new bottles of pills which would have done it so I was scared for her life honestly. So I was literally just freaking out day after day night after night and all while having to work at night now with this new job in the truck that I was freaking out because I couldn't see her in my passenger seat anymore and then I was seeing her and then I was worrying about her and I was concentrating more on her than I was even able to do my job like I said I had to give it up even though I sat there and prayed for her prayed for myself to pray to get the job and it was literally a blessing because they created the position for me they didn't need to fill a position they created it for me I've been doing this job for well over 10 years of my career and I'm damn good at it Just not right now and so for the last month after everything that I found out everything that it's been said This is what I had to do guys and I I can't regret it I can't feel any type of way about it but I've been pushing and pushing and pushing on purpose because I know she's not coming back no matter what That's the way she feels but once I stop trying to fight for the relationship to fight for her and fight for those kids I know she's going to start to feel the feelings of losing me and it's going to start getting into her head so I knew if I stopped talking to her that's what would happen and she would try to slide right back into my life a month later whenever however it would happen she would come back eventually and I'm not going to be in a new place in my life where I would allow her to do that I can't So what I did was I pushed on purpose not only because she made me promise to do it but because I knew it's what needed to happen because I needed my mental state to be better and it's not right now I'm a wreck right now because of this woman because of losing this woman cuz I honestly felt like she's the one person on this planet that I would never let go. So my life is just turned into a fucking wreck on a wreck on a wreck because of her vindictive nature her mean-spirited bullshit when she gets mad She doesn't not have a filter so she uses her daughter against me how's it feel no that you'll never see "her daughter" ever again trying to dig into my heart and just cause more pain This is the type of stuff she would say to me That would just break me down to nothing. I've literally been in tears since the breakup and before that because I I think I kind of knew it was coming but I was just so depressed that I couldn't do anything I would cry every night even a month before we were broken up I would cry every night just cuz I missed her I missed her being next to me but that was her own fault that was her own doing She lied put words in my roommate's mouth that were never there and she couldn't apologize She could not be an adult and apologize to him and then it would have been fine She would have been a loud back at the house She would been able to come see me but she just is not the adult that I thought she was or that she used to be before when we first got together and and I don't understand what happened I can't see where it all just went so terribly wrong except for her moving in with her family. It has been the greatest experience of my life loving this woman but at the same time in the end it has been so destructive so I had to make sure that she would never come back So for the last month I've been pestering her coming at her yelling at her calling her all these names in the book and just destroying anything she ever had for me because I won't let her back into my life I can't cuz I know if I do it will be the death of me so I'm choosing me over the love of my life. The woman that I have lived for for this past three fucking years of my life given everything to worked my ass off so I could fucking just keep going the next day to provide what I could for us as a family mind you have paid for everything every waking moment for the first year and a half of our lives because she didn't have a job She didn't work so I paid for everything and that's everything we needed for the baby as well. That couldn't get bought with food stamps. Literally drained every bit of funds that I had saved up everything Just took me for a rollercoaster ride through hell but I chose me I choose me now And hopefully the apartment that she was finding for us the one that she supposedly went to Once she supposedly is at now I hope her I wish her all the best but I had to sit here and destroy any chances of ever being with the woman that I still to this day want because I know she comes back crawling back I knew that I would take her back in a heartbeat and I just can't do it so I had to get it done and over with for me for her for everybody because I won't be hurt like that I won't be disrespected like that I won't be turned into a monster because she tears me down with her hateful little remarks and digs into my heart that are totally unnecessary when I'm being everything I can try to be and be sweet for her She literally anytime I would try to be sweet would turn it into something it's not telling me I'm manipulating her telling me I'm doing this I'm doing that well okay so that's what I'll do That's what I thought and that's exactly what I did If I'm the monster let me know cuz I feel like it honestly but I know it's for the best. To my little blue sundress princess, the love of my life I'm Sorry I had to do what I did sweetheart I'll always love you no matter what babe Just can't have you walk back into my life and and destroy everything that I build from here on out because I'll end up killing myself and I don't want that to happen so this is goodbye even though I know you'll never read this. Just know that I see you everywhere in every place I go there's memories that fled back to me everyday that are amazing or that are bad or that are just that their memories they will fade eventually hopefully but for now they are still too real for me to just forget like seems like you want to do by going out there and supposedly live in your best life faking it just to make it for the rest of the world being that strong independent woman with that attitude exactly even though I know you're sad inside I know you just buried those feelings All the love you had for me and you're lying to yourself but that's on you now I tried I really really tried to get you to understand that that's where we were headed was the life we wanted so sorry I asked you to choose me and love me for me instead of love me for what I had or didn't have. I'm sorry I needed to do this or even felt like I needed to do this cuz I will always love you no matter what, But now my life is going to be for me and for me only for its remainder because you gave up the fight and I ended it.

So this is going to be a long story, but a very intriguing one (or so my friends say). Bear with me and if you could offer some advice on what to do please share. I know I'm probably just young and naive but I feel like the pain will never stop. Like I'm going to always be held back by this particular experience.
Also sorry for any grammatical or spelling errors, English isn't my first language.
So all of this begins October of 2022 when I 18 M (at the time) moved to a new city to study film. I was lucky enough to have good grades and be so passionate about this art that it kind of felt incredible to have this new beginning. I rented a small house which I decorated with my collections and all my stuff and ended up loving every second spend in it.
I'm Not very social. Thats just a fact. I've always had my school friends and some people from other activities but none of them really felt like they understood me. No sade to them, I really love them, it's just that I know my hobbies and personality are niece and weird so we don't always see eye to eye. So I wanted to overcome my social anxiety and meet new people.
For the first semester I was all alone. Completely. Spent days upon days without leaving my house if I didn't have school and even didn't have any actual human interaction if not necessary. I didn't realise how much I was hurting myself. The Second semester, someone approached me in school and asked if I could help them with the editing for their final movie, let's call him Jacob 18 M. I already was searching for a group project to join in order to pass the class so this felt like a sweet deal. The group was Jacob and 2 girls, let's call them Ellie 18 F and Hannah 18 F.
With time we started talking about more then just the movie. I was really surprised by how many things we had in common. It was the first time someone I met liked musical theatre or (and this is gonna sound sad, please don't judge me) people didn't want me to leave whenever I approached them. They invited me to things, to their homes and after school and to trips at the beach ect. We were together almost every day. Till late at night or through it. Just the 4 of us. Felt like we could rule the world.
One day i thought Ellie was flirting with me. That was a weird feeling. I'm not very good looking and had a lot of extra weight so that was pretty much the first time but my friends told me that was the case from what I was describing. I mentioned it to Jacob and he told me something I didn't expect. He told me him and Ellie were in an open relationship and were hiding it from everyone except Hannah because of his ex who was in school with us. He also confessed he once had a crush on me and that's why he approached me in the first place. He also saw Ellie flirting with me but was ok with it due to the "rules of their relationship".
I was ok with not having a romantic relationship with Ellie. She would actually become one of the closest friends I've ever had. Or so I thought.
I actually started having a crush on Hannah. She loved some of the movies I loved. Had some of my quirks so I didn't feel ashamed around her and she started watching my favourite tv show with me. During our time together everyone (even her sister and Jacob who found out I liked her) told us that when we were together we could only see each other. As if we had a unique way of communication that nobody else could understand.
I confessed my crush and she told me she felt the same way but that there where 2 problems. First that she gets very anxious about relationships, has only ever been to one and had never kissed anyone. I assured her I wasn't going to pressure anything and I only cared for her and wanted to go on a date sometime. She replied she would like that very much. The second problem she confessed was that she was in love with Jacob for months now but nobody knew. Then everything made sense. The things she did for him and all. How she acted around him. I was surprised I didn't notice it before. She told me she wanted to get over it and proceed to ask to kiss me. We kissed a lot but nothing more that night. She went home after a few hours.
The next day Hannah she felt very distant. We wanted to go to the movies with Ellie but she disappeared all day. Late at night she asked my to go for a walk since we lived near each other. Then she told me she wanted to forget everything and last night was a mistake. That her anxiety has gotten into her and although she really wanted a relationship she couldn't be in one. The next few days we talked again and she said she didn't share any of this with Jacob to have someone in the group I could talk to if I needed help. Ellie was that for her.
It was already summer so we all went to our home towns. I missed her a ton. We stilled talked and the other 2 knew something was off with me. About 2 moths later we all went to Hannah's summerhouse for vacation. We were having fun, getting drunk and all that 19-year old stuff. One night me and Hannah were watching my show together and the time felt right so I asked to kiss her. She told me no and finally told me the truth. Turns out she liked that we flirted but after kissing me she realised it wasn't anything more. Also everyone knew except me. But after all this time I had realised I was in love with this girl. I told her if she could keep all of this to herself and she said yes.
We were all still friends. But I couldn't let go. My mental health began to decent and I started feeling like they would leave me out of stuff to go hang out alone and during October I tried talking some time away to see if they would even talk to me if I didn't. They didn't even say good morning once. I tried again and again. Jacob and Ellie said we all need to talk together. They repeated the same words. Like as if it was rehearsed. I went to "the talk".
Jacob did most of the talking. He talked about boundaries and how after everything between me and Hannah the group hasn't been the same. That after I didn't tell him what happened in our vacation they went to her and forced Hannah to do so. They where all attacking me. I heard lie after lie and all followed up with "we just need some time" and that all of this was cause they loved me.
I have discussed what they accused me of with friends, family and therapists. Although I didn't not believe it at first they all confirmed it was finding little details in my day-to-day behaviour (unrelated to all of the above) and using it to kick me out. They didn't intend of even speaking to me again. Lies feed to everyone by Jacob.
I went away. I don't know if it was for the better. But for a few weeks at first and then months later, I went back to my home town. Their lies became actual blame and I got a message from Ellie saying that we are done (just one month after trying to convince me they needed time and confessing she in particular didn't even notice anything until her boyfriend accused me).
Last time I saw any of them was in December when I gave Hannah her Christmas present. I told her I wasn't trying to get her back and I would continue to keep my distance since my first priority is what she wants and I meant that. I really do love her and would do anything for her to be happy. But I miss her a ton.
It's been 5 months since then. I stopped going to school and kept my distance from anyone related to that life. I have depression and cannot think about anything else. I heard that Jacob still talk shut about me to everyone. I have realised what has happened and have discussed this with multiple common friends who have confirmed this. Jacob is Manipulating the other 2 because of the bad relationship with his parents. He knows Ellie won't do anything with anyone else despite the "open" relationship due to her luck of confidence (so it only works for him). She need him to operate in public and to deal with her extreme anxiety so he takes advantage of that and Hannah follows him everywhere with the excuse of just being a good friend.
There are so many things I couldn't include (this is a hugh post already) about more lies and proof that they where bad for me. But I can't move on. I have seeked medical help but I just cant imagine my life in the future without them. Everything is a reminder of what we've been through. Jacob used to call me his family and when I begged him for our friendship back he didn't even care. Not on my birthday, not on new years... never. I lost all of them.
I'm back now. Not sure why, whether I'm back to continue my studies or to see if I could win them back. If I could have Hannah in my life in sime form. But I'll probably see them tomorrow morning (I randomly walked behind them today, don't think they noticed me).
Please if you have any advice share it. I just want to feel happy again. Even for a second.
TL,DR: The girl I'm in love with stopped talking to me along with my 2 best friends. I can't move on and I'm supposed to face them again in school after not seeing them for months. They all lied to me and nothing seem to help. I have depression and I dont want to feel like this for the rest of my life.

So this is going to be a long story, but a very intriguing one (or so my friends say). Bear with me and if you could offer some advice on what to do please share. I know I'm probably just young and naive but I feel like the pain will never stop. Like I'm going to always be held back by this particular experience.
Also sorry for any grammatical or spelling errors, English isn't my first language.
So all of this begins October of 2022 when I 18 M (at the time) moved to a new city to study film. I was lucky enough to have good grades and be so passionate about this art that it kind of felt incredible to have this new beginning. I rented a small house which I decorated with my collections and all my stuff and ended up loving every second spend in it.
I'm Not very social. Thats just a fact. I've always had my school friends and some people from other activities but none of them really felt like they understood me. No sade to them, I really love them, it's just that I know my hobbies and personality are niece and weird so we don't always see eye to eye. So I wanted to overcome my social anxiety and meet new people.
For the first semester I was all alone. Completely. Spent days upon days without leaving my house if I didn't have school and even didn't have any actual human interaction if not necessary. I didn't realise how much I was hurting myself. The Second semester, someone approached me in school and asked if I could help them with the editing for their final movie, let's call him Jacob 18 M. I already was searching for a group project to join in order to pass the class so this felt like a sweet deal. The group was Jacob and 2 girls, let's call them Ellie 18 F and Hannah 18 F.
With time we started talking about more then just the movie. I was really surprised by how many things we had in common. It was the first time someone I met liked musical theatre or (and this is gonna sound sad, please don't judge me) people didn't want me to leave whenever I approached them. They invited me to things, to their homes and after school and to trips at the beach ect. We were together almost every day. Till late at night or through it. Just the 4 of us. Felt like we could rule the world.
One day i thought Ellie was flirting with me. That was a weird feeling. I'm not very good looking and had a lot of extra weight so that was pretty much the first time but my friends told me that was the case from what I was describing. I mentioned it to Jacob and he told me something I didn't expect. He told me him and Ellie were in an open relationship and were hiding it from everyone except Hannah because of his ex who was in school with us. He also confessed he once had a crush on me and that's why he approached me in the first place. He also saw Ellie flirting with me but was ok with it due to the "rules of their relationship".
I was ok with not having a romantic relationship with Ellie. She would actually become one of the closest friends I've ever had. Or so I thought.
I actually started having a crush on Hannah. She loved some of the movies I loved. Had some of my quirks so I didn't feel ashamed around her and she started watching my favourite tv show with me. During our time together everyone (even her sister and Jacob who found out I liked her) told us that when we were together we could only see each other. As if we had a unique way of communication that nobody else could understand.
I confessed my crush and she told me she felt the same way but that there where 2 problems. First that she gets very anxious about relationships, has only ever been to one and had never kissed anyone. I assured her I wasn't going to pressure anything and I only cared for her and wanted to go on a date sometime. She replied she would like that very much. The second problem she confessed was that she was in love with Jacob for months now but nobody knew. Then everything made sense. The things she did for him and all. How she acted around him. I was surprised I didn't notice it before. She told me she wanted to get over it and proceed to ask to kiss me. We kissed a lot but nothing more that night. She went home after a few hours.
The next day Hannah she felt very distant. We wanted to go to the movies with Ellie but she disappeared all day. Late at night she asked my to go for a walk since we lived near each other. Then she told me she wanted to forget everything and last night was a mistake. That her anxiety has gotten into her and although she really wanted a relationship she couldn't be in one. The next few days we talked again and she said she didn't share any of this with Jacob to have someone in the group I could talk to if I needed help. Ellie was that for her.
It was already summer so we all went to our home towns. I missed her a ton. We stilled talked and the other 2 knew something was off with me. About 2 moths later we all went to Hannah's summerhouse for vacation. We were having fun, getting drunk and all that 19-year old stuff. One night me and Hannah were watching my show together and the time felt right so I asked to kiss her. She told me no and finally told me the truth. Turns out she liked that we flirted but after kissing me she realised it wasn't anything more. Also everyone knew except me. But after all this time I had realised I was in love with this girl. I told her if she could keep all of this to herself and she said yes.
We were all still friends. But I couldn't let go. My mental health began to decent and I started feeling like they would leave me out of stuff to go hang out alone and during October I tried talking some time away to see if they would even talk to me if I didn't. They didn't even say good morning once. I tried again and again. Jacob and Ellie said we all need to talk together. They repeated the same words. Like as if it was rehearsed. I went to "the talk".
Jacob did most of the talking. He talked about boundaries and how after everything between me and Hannah the group hasn't been the same. That after I didn't tell him what happened in our vacation they went to her and forced Hannah to do so. They where all attacking me. I heard lie after lie and all followed up with "we just need some time" and that all of this was cause they loved me.
I have discussed what they accused me of with friends, family and therapists. Although I didn't not believe it at first they all confirmed it was finding little details in my day-to-day behaviour (unrelated to all of the above) and using it to kick me out. They didn't intend of even speaking to me again. Lies feed to everyone by Jacob.
I went away. I don't know if it was for the better. But for a few weeks at first and then months later, I went back to my home town. Their lies became actual blame and I got a message from Ellie saying that we are done (just one month after trying to convince me they needed time and confessing she in particular didn't even notice anything until her boyfriend accused me).
Last time I saw any of them was in December when I gave Hannah her Christmas present. I told her I wasn't trying to get her back and I would continue to keep my distance since my first priority is what she wants and I meant that. I really do love her and would do anything for her to be happy. But I miss her a ton.
It's been 5 months since then. I stopped going to school and kept my distance from anyone related to that life. I have depression and cannot think about anything else. I heard that Jacob still talk shut about me to everyone. I have realised what has happened and have discussed this with multiple common friends who have confirmed this. Jacob is Manipulating the other 2 because of the bad relationship with his parents. He knows Ellie won't do anything with anyone else despite the "open" relationship due to her luck of confidence (so it only works for him). She need him to operate in public and to deal with her extreme anxiety so he takes advantage of that and Hannah follows him everywhere with the excuse of just being a good friend.
There are so many things I couldn't include (this is a hugh post already) about more lies and proof that they where bad for me. But I can't move on. I have seeked medical help but I just cant imagine my life in the future without them. Everything is a reminder of what we've been through. Jacob used to call me his family and when I begged him for our friendship back he didn't even care. Not on my birthday, not on new years... never. I lost all of them.
I'm back now. Not sure why, whether I'm back to continue my studies or to see if I could win them back. If I could have Hannah in my life in sime form. But I'll probably see them tomorrow morning (I randomly walked behind them today, don't think they noticed me).
Please if you have any advice share it. I just want to feel happy again. Even for a second.